#living with CFS

[araekniarchive]

@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal

[fernthefanciful]

Please please please I am BEGGING y'all

When you visit someone who is chronically ill or disabled and their house is not as clean or tidy as you'd like: just don't say anything

We *know* okay.

Trust me, we know

We'd love to see it differently too. But the truth is we *can't*. And you know this, you do!

So please. Just shut up. Don't pile on more guilt and feelings of inadequacy. We have enough of our own

[everlarksquell]

what a pair of unserious dorks, i love their friendship so much

[messiahzzz]

You’re one of the most annoying people on this site. And that really says A LOT because WOW! Shut the Fuck up about Gale wanting to be a father or not. He never says that he doesn’t want to be one. You projecting things onto him doesn’t make it Canon.

on a serious note: i’m certainly not the one that continuously brings up this topic unprompted. i personally really don’t understand the entire controversy around the topic or why fandom feels the need to rehash this conversation almost weekly. i truly believe that there’s nothing more of value to learn from it, to address, or add to it… yet fandom won’t let it rest.

to once again clarify: what i mean by “gale wanting to be a father isn’t canon” is that there is no evidence/neither hints anywhere in any of the dialogue that support the contrary. characters like h*lsin, w*ll and la*’zel have entire adoption subplots. all of them mention their children explicitly during the epilogue:

narrator: *your soul warms thinking of lily aurora ravengard, your adopted daughter. a treasure of a girl, found at the entrance of the open hand temple - one grey eye, one brown.* w*ll: ah, the girl could melt the staunchest heart. she might even have brought a smile to old withers' face! w*ll: but tonight is for us - and lily's only four months of age, besides. i promise, the temple will keep her in good care.

player: and our little hatchling? is he safe? la*'zel: of course. i have complete trust in our newest allies. xan is in fine hands tonight. la*'zel: what a wonder he is. he will be a fine warrior, if he chooses. or a poet, or an explorer, or a scholar.

h*lsin: being away from it... i cannot help but worry how they will fare in our absence. player: we'll be back before they know it. h*lsin: i hope so. the children shall miss their bedtime tale tonight - though perhaps i can glean a few new stories from our friends here, to make up for it.

even shad*wh*art has a line where she briefly mentions that children might be a possibility for her in the future.

shad*wh*art: and i get to see my parents almost every day - i need to make every moment with them count, after so much was stolen from us. but they're doing well, [...] shad*wh*art: who knows? perhaps they'll have grandchildren before long.

gale in comparison? he has none of that. he remains childfree during the entirety of the game + epilogue. in fact, his line in the epilogue that addresses the topic of grandkids is this one:

tara: this is why mrs. dekarios and i will be waiting an eternity more for grandchildren. nodecontext: self-pitying gale: psst! shoo, tara. nodecontext: shooing away tara like one would a naughty cat.

i already wrote a post about this entire discourse here [x] but to repeat myself once more: all of the dialogue that vaguely addresses the topic of children in any way in regards to gale are these snippets

player: gale… how would you feel about having another person in our relationship? gale: what, like a child? i’m not quite sure i’d consider myself father material, plus our current lifestyle isn’t exactly what i’d call settled…

gale, upon spotting oliver during their game of hide and seek: ah, i have you! just a shame i don’t want you.

gale treating the children the group comes across with respect isn’t an indicator either. this is a courtesy gale extends to everyone he meets. he’s a character that approves of a protagonist who systematically commits good deeds. whether it’s sparing animals, helping without compensation in mind, or aiding children. wanting children to be cared for… and you know… for them not to die is common etiquette that every adult should extend to a child in need. those are not “dad goals!!!” it’s quite literally just basic human decency. gale is genuinely kind and caring to everyone he meets, there is no reason why this also wouldn’t apply to children.

i often see fandom mention his encounter with mol at last light and how excited he is to talk to her. which i think greatly misinterprets the context of the scenario since he didn’t have much of a reaction to mol before either — gale is ecstatic about lanceboard. again evident by his reaction to the party finding the life-sized board during the wyrmway trials, and how he immediately offers to give tav pointers. explaining different approaches to them in enthusiastic detail if they allow him to. the man just really likes lanceboard… as well as being the smartest person in the room.

gale: ah, lanceboard! why, this might just be the highlight of our misadventures to date.

gale: lanceboard happens to be a game with which i have more than a passing familiarity. might i offer a suggestion? nodecontext: gale's a badass lanceboard player, anticipating showing off

if you want to headcanon your tav and gale raising a big family together that is more than fine and no one is stopping you. whatever you want to happen to these two after the storyline of the game is up to your respective fantasies. no one is policing you on what you should do with your own character. go wild and create whatever fan content you wish, no justification required.

yet once again, as there is no mention in canon anywhere — neither in the main game nor the epilogue — that this is something gale would ever want (whether that may mean immediately or somewhere down the line) gale wanting to be a father remains a headcanon. while gale being childfree is explicitly shown in the game, in strict comparison to other companions that either have children by the end of the game or voice the desire to (eventually) have them.

my personal preferences are of no relevance here whatsoever. i care about accurate and correct characterization and will point out inconsistencies/false information no matter the topic. i, for one, want to appreciate these characters in the way they're written, not how i ideally want them to be.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Sometimes it feels like people kinda forget your pain when it’s chronic.

When someone healthy/able bodied gets sick or injured, people will pour out their support and understanding right away, which is good, obviously.

But after a while, people get tired of hearing about it.

They get tired of having to work around it, tired of having to be understanding.

But just because your empathy fades, doesn’t mean our pain and grief does.

I’m so, so tired of my pain. Of having to be understood. Of not having any chance to have a proper career, or dreams, or relationship.

I’m tired of my hands not working enough for me to write, draw and craft, which is what is normally keeping me going.

They just keep getting worse.

I’m tired of the pains related to my endometriosis and pcos making me unable to eat properly, get any exercise, and for making me bedridden more and more these days.

I’m tired of having to beg for support in what little buisniess I manage to make sure I survive during my rough recovery periods after surgeries and bad flare up’s.

I’m tired of knowing my life will not be a long one.

I’m tired of complaining, of being in pain, of grieving, of feeling like a burden.

There are no breaks for me.

That doesn’t mean I get used to it. I will never be used to it.

And I think I should be allowed to talk about all of this without feeling like a burden.

I probably won’t ever get to that point, but this is me trying to get there.

By being open and honest, and hoping that at least one person takes the time to read.

If you’re still here, still reading, thank you. It means the world.

Be kind to those around you who are like me.

We’re not happy about our situations, either, but having people willing to stick around and listen makes it a little easier to survive.

Thank you ❤️‍🩹

[softchouli]

[perrettatheinjured]

A phrase that bothers me, as a chronically ill person, is "You must be feeling better."

First of all, this is patronizing. This is a phrase smug adults say to a child who they think is malingering. It is not what you say to your adult friend with an intractable forever-illness.

Second, there is no "better." I'm feeling somewhat bad all the time, and that's ok, but I don't think of this in terms of "better" and "worse." Are you, an able person, thinking of your daily existence as "better" and "worse"? How would you feel if you told someone about a particularly above-average day, and they responded by saying "Oh, so things must be going better"?

I'm not good at walking. I haven't been in remission in two years. If I have a day where I can make my own meals, that doesn't mean I am "better." It means I am having a good day, which is ephemeral, but this is ok. I don't think that tomorrow will be "worse," even I can't do as many things as today. I think tomorrow will be tomorrow.

[survivingfmandcfs]

Every day I'm like, "Okay, it's time to do yoga!" And then lie down face first on my bedroom floor.

[its-coda]

All of the ghost trick merch i made for myself!!

[allthethoughtsandstuff]

reread the hunger games in the most fucked up order this year

may: mockingjay

november: the hunger games

november: tbosas

december: catching fire

[iravaid]

in honour of lesbian visibility week... tragic lesbians from a zombie apocalypse ttrpg. Dot the bulldog butch (fly high bbg) and Meena the doberman femme (please hold on, bbg)

[iplaywithstring]

So right now I am almost halfway through the classroom portion of my program (there's classroom + practicum) and I am very pleased with my GPA.

This isn't to brag, so I'm not giving the number. The point is that I've been putting in the work and learning and achieving things.

When I first got sick back in 2010, the first Dr I saw basically said I was fat and lazy. I needed to apply myself more. Do more. Try harder. Push through. Then I ended up sleeping about 18 hrs a day and later diagnosed with CFS.

Over the years I've learned to manage symptoms, learned to recognize early signs of a crash, learned to actually rest, to take care of my nervous system, to set boundaries, and also when to stop. I've learned to say no to lots of things. I've learned to cut back. I've learned to respect my own limits.

And that's what is allowing me to be successful right now. Not pushing through, but making space. I can accomplish things at school because I only work 1 day a week, because my husband takes care of household tasks so I can put my energy into other things, because I've got pain management, because I limit my other activities.

Learning to respect my physical limits and symptoms was the best thing I could do. Pushing through, ignoring pain, sucking it up etc. only make life harder.

[disasterhimbo]

I wish expressing myself didn’t take so much energy

[multifariousmayhem]

source: http://www.cfsselfhelp.org/

we made this for our room but maybe it can help some people! so here you go

[calmmyfears]

now that its almost midnight and i'm in bed trying to sleep because at night people sleep, i'm wide awake of course and i want food and a hug perhaps too. i hate chronic fatigue, take it away from me, i don't need it anymore and i don't want to deal with this yet another minute.

[kimberlyannharts]

I really like Billy and Solon's dynamic in Cosmic Fury, I like how Solon called the wolf ranger a downgrade.

the best mentor pairs are definitely when one's human and the other's some costumed freak