#to function according to their ability

[iplaywithstring]

So right now I am almost halfway through the classroom portion of my program (there's classroom + practicum) and I am very pleased with my GPA.

This isn't to brag, so I'm not giving the number. The point is that I've been putting in the work and learning and achieving things.

When I first got sick back in 2010, the first Dr I saw basically said I was fat and lazy. I needed to apply myself more. Do more. Try harder. Push through. Then I ended up sleeping about 18 hrs a day and later diagnosed with CFS.

Over the years I've learned to manage symptoms, learned to recognize early signs of a crash, learned to actually rest, to take care of my nervous system, to set boundaries, and also when to stop. I've learned to say no to lots of things. I've learned to cut back. I've learned to respect my own limits.

And that's what is allowing me to be successful right now. Not pushing through, but making space. I can accomplish things at school because I only work 1 day a week, because my husband takes care of household tasks so I can put my energy into other things, because I've got pain management, because I limit my other activities.

Learning to respect my physical limits and symptoms was the best thing I could do. Pushing through, ignoring pain, sucking it up etc. only make life harder.

[orcelito]

I got.... my official adhd diagnosis....🥺🥺🥺🥺

Had my appointment where she went thru all the different parts of the testing and what they found by it. All sorts of things that I didn't even Realize what it was testing. And they pointed to combined type adhd!!!!!

There was also an iq test involved, specifically to test working memory in comparison to other categories, bc that's smth that adhd people tend to score low on. And I did too!!!! Compared to my other scores, at least. It was still average overall, but I scored "high average" on verbal comprehension and "superior" on perceptual reasoning and processing speed. WHICH MEANS!!!! Working memory was my low thing!!! Another thing pointing to it!!!!

Also the weird X test I took was the CPT-3 test and apparently it was geared Specifically towards adhd stuff. Which bc of my "atypically fast" reaction speed + "very elevated" commissions rate (which in this context means incorrectly hit space bar, aka I clicked when I wasn't supposed to) it showed a strong indication of impulsivity & some indication of inattentiveness and vigilance. That impulsivity is the big one here tho.

I'm just really excited now. I have a long report talking about all my brain stuffs that says I Do have adhd and that it would benefit me to take stimulants. AND!!!!! That I DONT have depression or anxiety!!!! That's a fuckin big one!!!!!! Bc they've avoided giving me stimulants in the past bc of the "anxiety" except I don't got it!!!! The examiner said exactly what I thought about it, which is that the prior disgnoses of depression and anxiety probably stemmed from effects of the untreated adhd. Aka I had Feels Bad Disorder. Ykno? Except not actually a disorder bc it was just a byproduct.

SO! Hopefully that can help me to get proper meds as soon as possible. Gonna be contacting my doctor to set up an appointment... soon!!!!!

[armandsfangs]

Friendly reminder that AO3 is fighting AI data scrapers on behalf of all fanfic writers!

According to the post below, AO3 issued a DMCA takedown after finding out that all works before March 2025 were scraped and uploaded as a dataset to potentially train AI. The ability to take legal action against scum like this is the direct result of people donating to AO3 so they can keep functioning and they don't pocket any of it because they are a non-profit organization.

So when you see the AO3 donation drives, please remember that this is what the money is going toward and support it when you can!

[mesetacadre]

how do you feel about a heavy portion of communists being ableist? sending disabled people to prison for being physically unable to work and then acting like that didn't happen doesn't make disabled people confident that communism won't hurt them just as bad as capitalism (I'm not saying billions of trillions dies from communism I'm just saying ''those who won't work won't eat'' is fucking evil especially when I see that rhetoric in modern day! You can say 'oh a wheelchair user can do teaching or archiving' but that ignores how many disabled people are bedbound or fully paralyzed!)

ARTICLE 12. In the U.S.S.R. work is a duty and a matter of honour for every able-bodied citizen, in accordance with the principle: "He who does not work, neither shall he eat."

The principle applied in the U.S.S.R. is that of socialism : "From each according to his ability, to each according to his work."

[...]

ARTICLE 120. Citizens of the U.S.S.R. have the right to maintenance in old age and also in the case of sickness or loss of capacity to work.

This right is ensured by the extensive development of social insurance of workers and employees at state expense, free medical service for the working people and the provision of a wide network of health resorts for the use of the working people.

This is the USSR's 1936 consistution, emphasis mine. Not a perfect constitution by any means, but this is very clearly antithetical to what you believe happened. Disabled people in my own country today have less rights and even less guarantees of those rights being respected. Again, the USSR was not perfect and I'm not saying it was. But you're ascribing willful malice that is embedded in marxism to circumstances that were not easily circumvented. The USSR was an imperfect state lacking in sufficient social protections, which came from times of feudalism without any kind of protection in any aspects save for the nobility, and whose collapse led to unparalleled misery and war. "He who does not work shall not eat" never included disabled people. It's a slogan, and slogans are not nuanced. What the USSR never did was enshrine that slogan into law literally, it always explicitly addressed able-bodied people.

Let's also look at a more modern constitution, Cuba's, from 2019

ARTICLE 42. All people are equal before the law, recieve the same protection and treatment from authorities and enjoy the same rights, freedoms and opportunities, without discrimination on the basis of sex, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, ethnic origin, skin color, religious faith, disability, national or territorial origin, or any other condition or personal circumstance that implies a harmful distinction before human dignity.

All have the right to enjoy the same public spaces and establishments.

Likewise, receive the same salary for the same work, without any discrimination.

The violation of the principle of equality is outlawed and is sanctioned by law.

[...]

ARTICLE 64. The right to work is recognized. The person in condition to work has a right to obtain dignified employment, corresponding to their selection, qualification, aptitude, and economic and societal requirements.

ARTICLE 65. Every person has a right for their work to be compensated as a function of its quality and quantity, expression of the socialist principle "from each according to their capacity, to each according to their work".

[...]

ARTICLE 68. The person who works has a right to social security. The State, through the system of social security, guarantees their adequate protection when they are unable to work because of age, maternity, paternity, disability, or illness.

[...]

ARTICLE 70. The State, through social assistance, protects the people without resources or refuge, not capable of working, who lack family members able to bring them help; and to families who, due to the insufficient income they recieve, if they so choose, in accordance with the law

I don't see anywhere a part that says all disabled people are jailed. Cuba definitely does have effective and real protections for all kinds of disabled people, and just like the USSR, the principle of the duty to work is not applied directly to disabled people. It's hard still to find information on the practical application of disability protection that's not funded by Radio Free Whatever, but here's an article about Cuba's:

[calmlb]

Higuchi’s Unrevealed Ability

my theory on what it could be…

i think that Higuchi’s ability will be called “Takekurabe” (Growing Up/Child’s Play) after her most famous work, and i believe it might have something to do with reincarnation. here’s why…

in this official art she is featured with red spider lilies, which are symbolic of death, but are also thought of as a bridge between heaven & earth…a reminder of the “cyclical nature of life & death”

Takekurabe also explores themes such as how life is fleeting. & also abt being forced into a role that you didn’t want, or wouldn’t have chosen for yourself

(plus potential foreshadowing: in this official art, Higuchi is surrounded by pinwheels— which symbolize childhood, but also the cycle of life, & the buddhist teaching of reincarnation)

back to reincarnation…

after being told that Akutagawa may never wake up, she reached out to him & a glow appeared around her hand— like she was activating an ability— before pulling away bc she remembered that he didn’t want her (or anyone’s) help

but this means that she’s able to give help in this sort of situation

additionally, the fact that she almost always appears in official arts w Akutagawa indicates that she will probably use her ability on him at some point, which makes sense considering his terminal condition

(note the pulse in the background, his bright eyes, & her white suit)

because we have yet to see her use her ability, i’m assuming that she can only use it once, so she’d be giving up her life for Akutagawa’s (a life for a life— his reincarnation)

this would imitate irl Higuchi’s unfortunately short life— with her having died at only 25 years old. it also makes sense to give her such a powerful ability since irl Higuchi is such an important figure in japanese history— japan’s first professional woman writer of modern literature

now for a less likely, but fun theory…

i wonder if Higuchi’s sister has anything to do with her ability (in bsd she’s unnamed, but her irl sister’s name was Kuniko so that’s what we’ll call her)

according to Higuchi’s bungo episode, despite her literary genius, irl Higuchi was practically useless without her sister

Kuniko was the one who made what Higuchi did possible & kept things functional behind the scenes

so i think it’d be super interesting (& a cool irl reference) if Kuniko was involved in some way with Higuchi’s ability (i also just want to see more of her bc this sister duo is so cute :’))

bonus: when i watched this anime adaptation of Takekurabe, this was the ending scene & i wonder if it was harukawa’s inspiration for this official art 🥹

white lilies represent purity, & since they were off by the side of the road, they might have represented the character’s fleeting purity. white lilies are also used at funerals to represent a soul’s return to purity & its journey to the afterlife… which circles back to the reincarnation theme 👀

[paper-starz]

A very big analysis on the new Welcome Home update

HELLLOOOOO EVERYONEEEE I havent done one of these in a while, but omg the newest update was everything I ever hoped for and more!! So today, we'll be talking about EVERYTHING (+ lil theories here and there)

BIG BIG SPOILERS AHEAD

Julie Joyful, Insecurity, Pressure, and Toxic Positivity

This update really gave us some interesting insight to the star of this update, Julie.

Julie is a rainbow monster, and a very happy one as her name would imply. And yet, she's not really like the rest of her family. She looks different from them for instance.

Her brother Jonesy states that rainbow monsters 'stick with one color', which means that they only stick to one color and don't really wear other colors. Even Julie's bio states how different in appearance Julie is from her siblings.

Recent evidence has revealed that Julie’s family consisted of a "band" of rainbow monsters that were a monochromatic color palette rather than a full rainbow like Julie herself.

Sure, Julie does have pink in her color pallete, she also has an array of other colors! Her hair isn’t a shade of pink, it’s yellow. Her legs aren’t a shade of pink either, it’s blue and green.

Franny also states that while horns come in different shapes and sizes, the bigger the better obviously. Julie's horns however are very small compared to the rest of the rainbow monsters.

Not to mention that she seems to forget or miss valuable information about rainbow monsters and Franny has to keep correcting her over and over again.

"There's more than that, Julie!" and "Missing things again, Julie."

And unlike her siblings, she lives away from them, which is unusual for a rainbow monster, where they normally live in a band.

She also doesn't seem to have an instrument, as stated in the Springtime Salutations book, "Julie, however, is her own instrument."

Speaking of the book, she also woke up too early for springtime.

And while her siblings were kind enough to bring Spring early this time, that doesn't mean that Julie wasn't affected at all by this. She knows how different she is from the rest of her siblings, and she's insecure about this fact.

This all culminates with the black flower, the one flower that she cannot bloom.

Rainbow monsters have a responsibility during Springtime. Franny melts away the snow with the morning dew, Jonesy makes the grass grow, Bea makes the sun shine, and Julie makes the flowers bloom. That is Julie's job, her one job of the entire year.

If she can't do that properly, then she would be proving to her siblings that she is a faulty rainbow monster that cannot do things by herself, that she cannot function properly away from her familial support. Which is the reason why she's so adamant on not rejoining the band, despite her siblings best efforts to sway her.

FRANNY: (With a commanding tone.) Back to us- Julie, when are you going to finally join our band? JONESY: Yeah, sis- What’s a rainbow monster band without its dynamite drummer? BEA: (Wistfully said.) Just think of it, sister dear… A colorful quartet pushing the seasons! JULIE: (Nervous and hesitant) That sounds… (Pretends to be losing signal) Oop- Oh no! The sounds! We’re breaking up!- (Whispering harshly.) Hang up the phone, Frank! Hang up!

And that's not to mention that she feels insecure not only towards her siblings as a rainbow monster, but also in the neighborhood.

She states that while she gets along well with everyone in the neighborhood, she's not particularly close with anyone besides Frank. Barnaby and Howdy tease her which probably makes her feel even more insecure, particularly in her ability to make others laugh, which again, brings JOY to people.

While she likes Poppy, Sally, Eddie, and Wally, again, she's not particularly close with either of them. Frank seems to be her only form of support in the neighborhood.

And yet, this particular scene is interesting, because according to Julie in The Julie Guide to being Joyful, her relationship with Howdy and Barnaby in particular are different.

She seems like she's lying to Wally and perhaps to herself that she has a great relationship with EVERYONE in the neighborhood, she's Julie Joyful! She's happy all the time and everyone loves her.

And yet, Wally seems to call her out on this. Both in the storybook and in the /regardforgetfulnesssilence link.

"Did all that really happen, Julie?" He says, as if he knows that Julie is lying but wants her to tell the story again. Reword the story so that she's telling the truth, but she doesn't want to. It's easier for her to live in a lie.

Which is another reason why she doesn't want to go back to her siblings. She would have to leave, not the neighborhood, but Frank. Her only form of actual support.

(Said inside her head. It sounds like static. ) If I can’t make a flower bloom, if I can’t bring Springtime around- What would I do? Will I have to leave? Will I have to go back? I’d just-

While I do believe her siblings love her and Julie does love them back, again, they make her feel insecure as a rainbow monster. Her older siblings always manage to get their job right, they have monochromatic colors, their horns are bigger, and unlike her, they never wake up too early for springtime.

JULIE: Hi, Wally! And hello to my sweet saccharine siblings! FRANNY: Is that our youngest sister here? JONESY: She’s our sweetest too- BEA: Don’t forget our most colorful! Julie, what could YOU need help with? You’re one of us!

Ironic how Bea says this line. Julie doesn't feel like one of them. She doesn't feel like a rainbow monster. Her one job of the entire year is to make the flowers bloom and if she can't do that, then what use is she?

This is why she is so terrified of that flower. That one flower that she cannot bloom. Its a crack in the joyous facade that she created. Sure, its just one flower, but what if its two next Spring? 10 after that? Whole fields of wilting flowers, dead flowers? Because of one mistake of waking too early and bringing in Spring when the time just wasn't right?

Then she would have to leave Home, and leave Frank. And its no surprise that she holds Frank in such a high admiration. He's the smartest neighbor in Home and he's her only true friend. She's especially terrified of disappointing him in particular.

Because while I do think Julie sees Frank as her best friend, I believe that because of the Sweet Briar book, Julie sees Frank as some sort of prince in shining armor coming in to save her.

Note that she doesn't view Frank in a romantic light, when the scene came for Frank to awaken princess Julie from her slumber with a kiss, Julie just jumps from her bed and the kiss just never happens.

Frank is her only person in the neighborhood that actually supports her and her only true friend, thus, Julie sees Frank as someone that's saving her. Keeping her away from the dangers of leaving with her siblings and going away, thus losing Frank (and her support), and perhaps even away from the responsibility of being a rainbow monster.

"I'm doing the best that I can, but it's nice to let someone else lead."

As mentioned before, if Julie joins the band, she'll be the drummer. However, Julie is her own instrument, she marches along to the beat of her own drum lol.

The drummer's role in a band is to provide the rhythmic foundation of the group, providing a steady beat and tempo. A drummer's role is pretty strict, if they mess up (like if they come in too early or if they become off-tempo), that messes up the entire song.

Julie already knows that she's not that great of a rainbow monster, she messes up constantly, forgets facts that a rainbow monster should know, wakes up too early for Spring, and can only make MOST of the flowers bloom. If she goes back to her siblings, joins their band, and becomes their drummer, then she's not only risking messing up her job of making the flowers bloom, but also the rest of her siblings' job. What if she misses just one beat? Would that jeopardize everything? What would her siblings say if she messes up and makes them mess up too?

What will happen to Springtime? Will the grass and flowers die? Will the sun never shine? Will the rain never come to wash away the snow? Will she trap the entire neighborhood in an endless winter?

It's a risk that Julie just doesn't want to take. This is why she starts getting more and more aggressive towards the black flower, because it's jeopardizing her stay at the neighborhood, and threatening her to leave everything behind.

Which leads us to the ending of /tearsremembranceinstability, Julie gets more and more agitated towards the flower. Flat out threatening it when it's not going to be blooming anytime soon.

"You won't be around for much longer--" "I'll never see you again, no one will, no one will ever know you were here--" THOSE SOUND LIKE THREATS!

Which leads me to believe that Julie did something awful to that flower. Either she forced that flower to bloom, or she killed it.

What ever she did to that flower, Frank witnessed it. And Julie knows what Frank saw.

But then, something strange happens.

This weird little bug flies in at the end and stares at us, the viewer.

And we have seen this bug before! On the miscellaneous section!

Opening the image under a new tab reveals that this toy is called a 'buggle'.

While it is a cute little toy, it seems out of place for this thing to just pop out. It feels random.

But ah! It is NOT random dear viewer!

Taken from the awayfrompryingeyes.net site.

'Buggle' sounds like a mix of the word 'bug' and 'beagle'. AND CAN YOU GUESS WHICH NEIGHBORS HAVE A CONNECTION TO THE WORDS BUG AND BEAGLE????

Frank, Barnaby, and Howdy! Three neighbors that have had an impact on Julie's insecurities.

Both Howdy and Barnaby make Julie's insecurities worse. They constantly tease her, with Barnaby in particular saying that he doesn't find Julie's jokes all that funny and Howdy saying that she better get some new material.

Frank on the other hand alleviates those insecurities, making him a huge source of comfort, but to the point that she's terrified of disappointing him.

The buggle seems to be a manifestation of Julie's insecurities and anxieties, manifesting itself during Julie's lowest point.

Which concludes to this. What will the next update be about?

Because our guy W definitely has some ideas...

Perhaps the buggle is foreshadowing, either the next update will be focusing on either Frank, Barnaby, or Howdy!

But i suppose only time will tell.

[metanarrates]

I haven't seen a lot of coverage in the news about this, but my state has just advanced legislation on a bill that would criminalize trans bathroom use in publicly owned buildings. this could mean up to 6 months in jail and up to $1000 in fees for those convicted.

most alarming aspects of this bill:

-"publicly owned buildings" include airports, schools, libraries, government offices, some hospitals, and most terrifyingly AND explicitly within the bill, domestic violence shelters and rape crisis facilities. transgender people, who are estimated to be almost 4 times more likely to be victims of violent crimes than cisgender people, could become criminalized in the very spaces they seek out to shelter from abuse.

-on that note, the bill potentially threatens federal funding of already-underfunded domestic violence and sexual assault facilities. to recieve federal grants, facilities are required to follow nondiscrimination laws. this law could place the facilities in danger of losing the grants they rely on. this is severely going to impact victims' abilities to access critically needed services.

-the bill legally defines "sex" in a way that has a lot of potential impact across state legislature. according to the bill’s text, HB 257 would legally define a female as “an individual whose biological reproductive system is of the general type that functions in a way that could produce ova,” and a male as “an individual whose biological reproductive system is of the general type that functions to fertilize the ova of a female.” this could effectively end the state's legal recognition of trans people.

-the bill demands that trans people who DO use bathrooms in publicly owned buildings must have undergone both gender reassignment surgery and have had their birth certificate changed. this has several issues, obviously, but the biggest one I want to highlight is that this opens the door to potential genital inspection by law enforcement if someone is accused of being transgender in a bathroom. in addition to any other indignities suffered by being harassed by cops when trying to use the restroom, it is completely possible for law enforcement to now demand to see whether someone's genitals are in compliance with these laws. it's an unconscionable and humiliating invasion of privacy.

-the bill requires trans students to develop a "privacy plan" with their school in order to arrange access to unisex spaces. if unisex bathrooms are unavailable, the student can be granted access to a sex-designated space “through staggered scheduling or another policy provision that provides for temporary private access.”

-the bill allows the state’s attorney general to impose a fine of up to $10,000 per day on local governments that don’t enforce the bill. in essence, any government that isn't sufficiently committed to enforcing these draconian laws may face massive fines until they have reached the attorney general's standard of enforcement.

this is one of the most unbelievably severe anti-trans laws that have ever been proposed in the united states. it would effectively ban trans people from participating in public life, harm nearly every single victim of domestic violence and sexual assault who seeks services in the state, enforce criminality on random trans people in bathrooms, and open every single person who could be potentially accused of being trans up to a wave of harassment and discrimination from both private citizens and law enforcement. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that this law would literally force me and my transfemme fiancee to flee this state.

the law's been fast tracked to an insane degree through the legislature. similarly to the anti-dei bill currently making its way through, it's only been a week since it was introduced, and it's already passed the house, and is now up for vote in the senate. if it passes both sets of votes, the only thing left in its way is the governor's decision to veto.

please share this post. make as much noise as you can. if you live in utah, please call and email your district senator as soon as possible. it doesn't matter how late you see this. the bill is up for vote this week (1/23/24 at the time of writing) and we need to do whatever we physically can to protest its passing. we've already moved past the opportunity for public comment on the bill, but a few organizations have called for a rally at the capitol steps on thursday (1/25/24) at noon. if you are in the salt lake area or are able to make it there, please consider attending. wear a mask and bring a sign. we are stronger together.

[reasonsforhope]

"Researchers at the National Cancer Research Centre in Spain (CNIO) have discovered a mechanism that is triggered just minutes after acute liver damage occurs—and it could lead to treatments for those with severe liver problems.

The avenues for future treatments of liver damage include a diet enriched with the amino acid glutamate.

“Glutamate supplementation can promote liver regeneration and benefit patients in recovery following hepatectomy or awaiting a transplant,” wrote the authors in a paper published in ‘Nature’.

The liver is a vital organ, crucial to digestion, metabolism, and the elimination of toxins. It has a unique ability to regenerate, which allows it to replace liver cells damaged by the very toxins that these cells eliminate.

However, the liver stops regenerating in cases of diseases that involve chronic liver damage–such as cirrhosis—and such diseases are becoming increasingly prevalent, associated with poor dietary habits or alcohol consumption. So activating liver regeneration is key to treating the disease.

Learning to activate liver regeneration is therefore a priority today, to benefit patients with liver damage and also those who’ve had part of their liver cut out to remove a tumor.

The research has discovered in animal models this previously unknown mechanism of liver regeneration. It is a process that is triggered very quickly, just a few minutes after acute liver damage occurs, with the amino acid glutamate playing a key role.

“Our results describe a fundamental and universal mechanism that allows the liver to regenerate after acute damage,” explained Nabil Djouder, head of the CNIO Growth Factors, Nutrients and Cancer Group and senior author of the study.

A “complex and ingenious” perspective on liver regeneration

Liver regeneration was known to occur through the proliferation of liver cells, known as hepatocytes. However, the molecular mechanisms involved were not fully understood. This current discovery is very novel, as it describes communication between two different organs, the liver and bone marrow, involving the immune system, according to a CINO news release.

The results show that liver and bone marrow are interconnected by glutamate. After acute liver damage, liver cells, called hepatocytes, produce glutamate and send it into the bloodstream; through the blood, glutamate reaches the bone marrow, inside the bones, where it activates monocytes, a type of immune system cell. Monocytes then travel to the liver and along the way become macrophages – also immune cells. The presence of glutamate reprograms the metabolism of macrophages, and these consequently begin to secrete a growth factor that leads to an increase in hepatocyte production.

In other words, a rapid chain of events allows glutamate to trigger liver regeneration in just minutes, through changes in the macrophage metabolism. It is, says Djouder, “a new, complex and ingenious perspective on how the liver stimulates its own regeneration.”

The research also clarifies a previously unanswered question: how the various areas of the liver are coordinated during regeneration. In the liver, there are different types of hepatocytes, organized in different areas; the hepatocytes in each area perform specific metabolic functions. The study reveals that hepatocytes producing a protein known as glutamine synthetase, which regulates glutamate levels, play a key role in regeneration.

According to the CNIO group, when glutamine synthetase is inhibited, there is more glutamate in circulation, which accelerates liver regeneration. This is what happens when the liver suffers acute damage: glutamine synthase activity decreases, blood glutamate increases, and from there, the connection with the bone marrow is established, reprogramming macrophages and stimulating hepatocyte proliferation.

Possible therapeutic applications

The experiments have been carried out in mice, but the results have been tested with bioinformatics tools, using databases of mouse and human hepatocytes.

According to Djouder, “dietary glutamate supplementation may simply be recommended in the future after liver extirpation, and also to reduce liver damage caused by cirrhosis.”

The first author of the paper, CNIO researcher María del Mar Rigual also wants future research to explore using glutamate supplements in humans who have undergone liver resection for tumor removal."

-via Good News Network, March 30, 2025

[aroaceleovaldez]

the dynamic of demigods thinking which other demigod is the most powerful is always amusing to me because. like, we know the big 3 kids are all the most powerful. That's just a fact of their universe. And then we know nearly every character views Percy as the strongest demigod, and most people are very rightfully intimidated by him.

and you look at the powers of the Big 3 kids and there's Percy, but then you realize Nico is just kind of objectively more powerful than him but simply chooses to hang out in Percy's shadow like he's Percy's scary dog privileges. Like, the two of them are pretty equally capable of causing multiple different apocalypses. Nico just also has like four different instakill powers and it's not like he doesn't use them. He very much uses them! Not infrequently, even! And they don't seem to take a significant amount of energy from him! And other demigods are pretty intimidated by both of them! But Nico makes a conscious point to keep his cards close to his chest and not let on exactly how dangerous and scary he can be if he wants to. People are already scared enough of him without knowing anything about him and he doesn't like that. Percy doesn't think about that nearly as much, and so usually just goes in guns blazing and that's part of why he's considered a wildcard. And then Nico himself puts Percy on a pedestal, so those who do know more about Nico's abilities then presume Nico knows something they don't about Percy that implies Percy is even stronger than him.

And even on a meta level Nico's narrative role requires him to be functionally more powerful than Percy, because he very often serves the purpose of getting Percy out of situations he can't handle on his own. That's just part of his function as a character! But also narratively he can't overshadow Percy so he just takes a backseat of his own accord and that's very amusing to me.

[dalishious]

This is an excerpt from my work-in-progress large meta examination on thet qunari from DAO through to DATV. But since that is taking a long time, I thought it might be worth it to post this piece alone now, since it works on its own as well.

-----

The Qunari Design

In Dragon Age: Origins (DAO) the qunari all had the same brown metallic skin. This is because the developers only bothered to make one skin tint for the use of Sten, the qunari companion. They gave this skin tint to every other qunari NPC as well. This is also why there is only the one hairstyle that Sten uses for qunari, with the few NPCs either being bald or using his same hair. Essentially, Sten was the blueprint for all qunari, originally.

No qunari have horns in DAO like they do in the rest of the franchise. According to developer David Gaider, the qunari were always meant to have horns, but did not in DAO because it would have meant Sten couldn’t wear a helmet. This led to the lore decision that some qunari are born hornless as a rare genetic quirk, to account for the later change in design.

Dragon Age II (DA2) saw a drastic change in how the qunari look. Unlike the elves, humans, and dwarves in DA2, the qunari do not use head morphs allowing for individual designs; they have standardized creature models. (The only exception in the base game is the Arishok, who has his own special model.) The qunari moved from having Sten’s brown skin to grey metallic skin, their eye sclera was changed to black, and they were given the horns the developers originally wanted.

It is a well-known fact that DA2 was under immense development restrictions that led to all kinds of cut corners. However, it is worth pointing out the negative impact of choosing an entire race’s design functionality as one of those cut corners. The qunari in DA2 are, for the most part, treated like nothing but unthinking monsters for Hawke to squish, no different than giant spiders or darkspawn. Making them all look the same adds to this effect; they are stripped of any sense of personable traits.

A medium between DAO and DA2 was reached in Dragon Age: Inquisition (DAI), through introducing the player’s ability to make a qunari protagonist. DAI allows the player to choose between few brownish and a few greyish skin colours for their qunari character. The black sclera was changed to white again, as the qunari use the same eye texture and colouring functionality as all the other races. The character creation works just the same for qunari as it does for any other race, allowing for individual appearances left to the player’s imagination. However, as far as NPCs go, there are no qunari in the base game of DAI, making Iron Bull as a companion the only qunari presence until the Trespasser DLC. This does not leave much room to judge the appearance of other qunari characters.

DATV is just like DAI in its character creation capabilities, with the one expansion being the player can make their character have black sclera like in DA2 if they so choose. For all DATV’s faults with the qunari, at least we can say that the character creation is great. Taash and their mother Shathann also have lovely, unique designs. Where things become uncomfortable with the qunari designs… is in the Reavers.

It is established lore from the previous franchise installments that Reavers gain their special powers through drinking draconic blood, though these Antaam Reavers have been altered by Ghilan’nain. My personal assumption is that blighted dragon blood was used. Regardless of how these Reavers came to be, they are unprecedented, horrific monsters, and it is only ever qunari that we see subjected to this kind of disfigurement. This really doubles down on turning them into standardised monsters like in DA2.

Going through all these qunari design changes can make a player’s head spin. But I believe it is an important, visual example of an overarching theme with the qunari: the developers have never really cemented what they want them to be. The writing throughout the years suggests the same.

-----

Stay tuned for the full piece sometime in the future, where I will get into the writing!

[snitchbo]

I dont know how to explain why this is important

But let's not forget that Parkour Civilization is a meritocracy. A socialist autocratic meritocracy.

I feel people don't dwell on this fact enough, opting to just focus on the capitalist allegories, which is awesome bc the allegory is strong and well made, but the literal government seperate from allegory is ALSO very well made and unique, i mean I've never seen a fictional government quite like it, and it's impressive.

People often struggle to conceive the thought of another government or societal idea, and Evbo managed to make an entire government and social norm completely different from any of our own.

Like, let's break this government (or lack of) down.

Parkour Civilization has a sole and all-powerful ruler, The Champion. Which makes the society autocratic with a dictator.

The "businesses" ( housing stores, buying food and blocks, etc. ) are collectivley owned, not belonging to a single person but rather the community. Especially in higher layers, people receive as much as they give to their society. If they work, they get food, they do extra tasks, they get blocks. It's essentially a Marxist Leninist socialist society, but one that's heavily affected by the meritocracy, which can make it seem more capitalist leaning.

Speaking of Meritocratic society, people often mistake the meritocratic aspects as being outright capitalistic, like the social hierarchies and needing to parkour for basic necessities. HOWEVER this is because the society is structured based on your merits in parkour, those with a higher skill level are placed higher in the social chain. Thats why the Parkour Champion is a dictator, because they're the person who is THE BEST at parkour, making them the most capable to lead society according to meritocracy.

In any case, the fact that people are forced to parkour ALL the time is pretty understandable, considering this government is based on merit. They're encouraging people to show off and practice their parkour because their skill level is the only thing to get them anywhere in society. Based on their merits, they get their bare essentials, and if they have particularly good skill levels, they can rank up in society and have access to better resources.

People also always talk about how Evbo didn't make food and resources accesable for free without parkour, which is kind of where the capitalist lens takes over because those things ARE free. There isn't a system of currency in Parkour Civilization. it's all just MERITS. The fact they can die from parkour and the fact they use language like "buy" and "sell" makes it seem capitalistic, but they dont work and receive currency. The currency is infinite as long as their SKILL SET allows it. People had to worry about the consequence of dying from parkour, which is what made it scarce and less accesable, people werent willing to try. Evbo, however, gave them the ability to try again without consequence, which pretty much DOES make everything free, as free as it gets. They have infinite "currency" based on their skills, and theres no consequence for failing or trying again.

I also feel that when people beg Evbo or the future generations to turn Parkour Civilization into more of a communist society, they're completely ignoring the worldbuilding. That is an insane leap to make, from a society based on parkour abilities to having nothing to do with parkour? "Well, they can still parkour!" They could, but you'd be removing the vitality of it completely. I mean, imagine asking the states to become fully communist? It's an insane change that their society would never make, and thats not the end goal. Society can be functional and good without our interpretation of a utopic government because every society is different.

I love the government in Parkour Civilization. Please hear this. And ask me questions or talk to me about it.

[idv-sunsxin3]

Toons with Caretaker! Reader // Dandy's world

Scenario/writing

I don't know if I would consider this as an AU or some illogical noncanon implement based - but here's my personal idea(I won't take criticism, I'm very self-conscious with what I self-endulge--)

Reader in this scenario is actually one caretaker who has phenomenal ability to clone themselves into multiple versions of them. It was an original idea for the prototype Y/N to be a caretaker that replaced the "missing one" for only one certain toon... in this case scenario, Toodles'. However, what was shocking is that the toons happen to take a liking of the caretaker of the same face... same charisma and tenderness.

So the company decided to expand their research and enhanced Y/N's  capacities to clone themselves for a certain amount of time and train their cognitive and physical strength...

The only condition was for the original Y/N to stay intact in order for the clone to not get affected... and for the caretaking service not to be full-time.

Y/N was considered a "human" with not much personal information written in their files, making a perfect specimen to be recruited as a caretaker.

"Caretaker Y/N held so much love and care for these toons and children." An audio is heard from a tape record, "But keep in mind there is only one Y/N, not the others."

Unlike the original, who is often seen wearing a rainbow uniform. every Y/N caretaker wears respective colors and uniforms that complement the toon assigned.

Eventually... the company eventually abandoned the project along with the Gardenview center. The other caretaker counterparts left as well after acknowledging the crisis of their labor. This left Y/N no longer having maintenance service.

Y/N, being a determined one for the sake of what they care for, decided to bring this matter into their hands...

According to the conditions the Gardenview has been through in the aftermath, with twisted wandering around the floors and mysterious chores leaking in dark places...

They decided to redesign their clones to be capable of teaching toons how to handle situations and keep themselves safe whenever they couldn’t be able to be there at certain times(by that, Caretaker Y/N had to go through all the research collected by the toons, in hope for these twisted  entities to diminish, or some cure for them.)

Of course, these are tough feats. Not even Y/N would handle them by themselves. After a few days scouting around the abandoned ruins, they eventually came to the conclusion to reluctantly accept their beloved toons' assistance, who for some reason have to help with Dandy's little obsession with the tapes...

That's the moment Y/N realizes their rainbow baby just discovered capitalism... (nice.????)

But well- they must have to learn the truth themselves too. They don't deserve to be put in the shadows....not like them, again.

With this transition of events, the toons not only acknowledge the caretaker as their guardian angel who would guide them in necessary circumstances or cherish them. But also a "professor" for some toons like Shelly and Rodger.

"Professor Y/N has a lot of knowledge to offer... from the locations of where fossils are concentrated and how ichor machines function around the building! Even i love asking questions, so they're always happily helping me." Shelly states in an audio tape.

Under their guidance, it allow toons to maintain a safe circle from the chaotic world they're confined in. Offering love, affirmation, rationality, and advice.

Toons, at some point, learned that everything they share with the clones, the original Catetaker would know as well... their contact with the guardian being accessible both directly and indirectly.

This is pretty good for those who wanted to express their feelings so the original can come to them personally when requested... while some prefer privacy and space for themselves, which the Caretaker acknowledges.

As Y/N is the same person, not all toons are the same.

Sometimes, some toons don't mind sharing and prefer to spend time with the original caretaker(who do not mind dropping everything temporarily for both happiness and safety for them). On the other hand... Some prefer to keep the caretaker to themselves, bringing some jealousy.

(This includes Dandy... )

Nonetheless, Caretaker Y/N remains loving. They cherish all toons unconditionally. Even if cherishing is part of their job, they came into learning how to love them all independently.

_____

//Caretaker Voicelines//

//Lobby Radio//

"All elevators are in service... please be careful on your way there."

"Make space for everyone's path. We have a lot of room!"

"Come to my lab if any injuries should be reported, please. I want to make sure everyone is in good shape!"

"Good morning, good afternoon, good night..!"

"What shall we do today, Mm? It's time to check the bulletin board..."

(Rare) "Guys... why are you banging your head into the tree...?"

//before Elevator closes//

"Good luck, my friends."

"Stay safe, I'll always be waiting here."

"I'll watch over you from here."

"Love you all... Please take care."

(Toodles in the party)"Toodles, you know what to do! Sh..." *soft shhs before babbling spy music goofs*

"Remember... Don't take Dandy personally, Lil' fella doesn't even know what he is saying...-"

//Coming back from a run//

"Welcome back - how are you doing?"

"Tired? Poor thing... now now, come to the dorm room as I make your bed."

"Something wrong? No, dear, there's nothing wrong back there. You had quite a run there! I'm so proud of you."

"Hey there! You're just in time... check out your progress you just did, champ!"

[youremyheaven]

A Basic Guide to Vedic Astrology

I think many of you are new to Vedic astrology, so I thought I'd give a little intro to some of the concepts, terminology etc

First and foremost, Vedic astrology dates back to 5000 BC - 10,000BC, which means it only takes into account Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and the 2 nodes of the Moon, Rahu & Ketu along with your Ascendant. Outer planets like Uranus, Neptune, Pluto along with asteroids are NOT calculated as most of them were discovered only in the last 2-3 centuries.

A conjunction takes place when two planets are placed in the same nakshatra within 5 degrees of each other. Even if they are placed more than 5 degrees apart, so long as they are in the same nakshatra, they can to some extent be considered as conjunct (the effect will be less potent than an exact conjunction basically) BUT if you have Sun in Ashwini and Venus in Bharani, you DO NOT have Sun conjunct Venus in Aries, that is NOT how it works. Those two nakshatras have entirely different themes, mythologies, purposes, deities, planetary influences and lessons, how on earth can they be considered "conjunct"???

That said, wherever you have a conjunction in your chart will have a major influence on you. It is a very potent energy. Dont ask me if having Saturn conjunct Ketu in Ashwini makes you a Saturnian or a Ketuvian because that's not the point, its that those two planets have a specific relationship with each other in your context and to understand the functioning of one, you must look at the other (along with its placement, aspects etc etc)

There are 12 rashis, corresponding to zodiac signs and each rashi is divided into 2 or more lunar mansions called "nakshatras". If you've wondered why say Arieses all act so different, its because they're either UBPs or Revatis in their Vedic chart, contributing to vastly different personalities.

In Vedic astrology, we have the concept of 7 charakarakas all of which indicate a different purpose:

Atmakaraka aka the soul indicator. it is the planet at the highest degree and represents your soul/being. its your compass and points towards the calling of your soul

2. Amatyakaraka, it typically points to your career/profession and works alongside your atmakaraka. it is the planet at the second highest degree

3. Bhratrukaraka (planet at 3rd highest degree) points to relationships with siblings

4. Matrukaraka ( planet at fourth-highest degree in your chart) signifies your relationship with your mother or maternal figures. It represents the nurturing qualities within you and helps illuminate your connection to your mother or motherly figures in your life.

5. Putrakaraka (planet with the fifth-highest degree in your chart) reveals your approach to parenting and your potential for creativity. It provides insights into your connection with your children and your capacity for artistic expression.

6. Gnatikaraka (the planet with the sixth-highest degree in your chart) indicates obstacles and adversaries in your life. It reflects your ability to overcome challenges and confrontations, making it a valuable guide for navigating life’s hurdles.

7. Darakaraka (the planet at the lowest degree) it is associated with your spouse and romantic relationships. It uncovers the qualities you seek in a partner and offers insights into how you relate to your significant other. Understanding the Darakaraka can provide clarity on your love life and partnerships.

HOW TO STUDY NAKSHATRAS:

Read about the mythology behind your nakshatras. This helps shed light on its nature.

Look at your nakshatra's yoni consort. Read about what the yoni animal symbolically represents

Similarly, read about your nakshatra's deity, ruling planet, other naks under the same planetary influence etc

There are 4 purusharthas (aka motivations) in vedic astrology according to which nakshatras are classified. understanding the different classifications behind each nak helps us understand its nature better

similarly naks can also be classified by their ganas which describe the nature of these naks:

Deva = godly, Manushya = humane, Rakshasa = demonic

if you have a rakshasa gana nak, it does not mean you're a demon. it just points towards traits like selfishness, lack of generosity etc AND the person you are is sum of your whole chart, not just the gana of one nak, so don't beat yourself up

Naks are also classified on the basis of their qualities of which there are 7

they can also be classified on the basis of caste:

(all tables, pyramid etc by me so any mistake is mine oopsies)

4. Chart Ruler

The ruling planet of your ascendant sign is your lagna lord. If you're Mrigashira Rising, then your lagna lord is Mercury/Venus (based on whether your nak falls into the Taurus portion or the Gemini portion).

5. Navamsa or D9 chart

Look at your D9 after you've studied your D1 otherwise it'll feel like too much info you don't fully understand. Navamsa is consulted along with your D1/Birth chart. you can think of it as D1 promises certain things and D9 is if/how those things materialise. its like part 1 and part 2 of a story

I can't think of anything else that should be covered🤡but if you have doubts you can ask!!

I hope this was helpful!!

[loveemagicpeace]

🎸Mars Energy🎸

⚡️Mars is a powerful figure in mythology. Mars on me represents the principle factor, the energy we need to make us encourages to action. It gets us out of bed every morning and helps us achieve our goals throughout the day. It is also our representation of masculinity, as Venus is our representation of femininity. Both men and women need a well-functioning Mars to feel that we are powerful and that we have life in our hands. Mars needs challenges, and not just in battle or dispute, but also in physical activities, such as competitive games and sports or any field, at with which we can flex our muscles and compete with others to win. Like Venus, Mars is also associated with the sexual attraction and sexual relations, and both planets they reveal us approach to sexuality and courtship. In this, Mars especially delights in pursuit and conquest.

⚡️Unlike Venus, it is not relationship-oriented and can lose interest as soon as it conquers an object/person. Unless he runs into competitors then he starts fighting. The energy of Mars indicates how we behave and react. How we compete, how we win someone over and what our charm is. Mars shows how we keep our vibrancy and energy alive. The position of Mars in the chart shows our way of pursuing (the object & person we want). Mars is an indicator of what kind of men, and Venus, what kind of women we get involved with. Although many times relationships are influenced by both.

Mars is known for its lust for dominance, but it can be overbearing and tempting to impose one's will on others. Mars represents our primal passions, inclusive with anger. But Mars can also get you in trouble sometimes. It is important to release our anger. This is very important for our health, because we can get seriously ill if we suppress these energies. Suppressing anger is a matter of course associated with health problems such as stress and depression. The ability to exercise our will and achieve what we want is a talent in itself that we have to learn. After a period of learning from mistakes we start in our thirties and forties after we tend to use Mars more skillfully to our advantage.

🎡Aries Mars is particularly monotonous, spontaneous and quick to act according to his will. It can also catch fire spontaneously,and explosive moments are followed by calm ones, because anger usually does not last long. You have a fiery and strong approach to your desires. Usually when you want something you want to get it by any means. When it comes to competition, you are very competitive and forget about others. You put more emphasis on physical pleasure.

🦋Scorpio Mars has a strong will, but he has more control over the planning and execution of his actions, so he is more precise and efficient. Mars in Scorpio is usually expressed with the words and emotions, and less with fighting. Sexual expression is important for both signs, but Mars in Scorpio loves more emotionally. When it comes to love, he becomes very self-sacrificing. He will do anything for the person he loves. But when he is deceived, he can become your worst enemy. He is intense, passionate, combative and persistent, but his energy only shows when he really feels someone.

🧁Mars in mutable watery Pisces will be rather gentle and passive and will find it difficult to express itself decisively. He may hold back his anger so as not to upset others, and he may act less directly, he may even act like a victim to make others feel guilty and let us get our way. But many times you can make emotional sacrifices for other people or give them too much and then you are disappointed. Mars in Pisces is at its best when alone. You can isolate yourself a lot from other people.

🥨Mars in an earth sign, such as fixed Taurus, can be very calm and slow to respond, but with slow and patient steps he advances towards what he wants. Like a bull, it can be charged with enormous energy and charge at an attacker when angered or threatened. Mars in Taurus can also be very passionate and lustful, which makes him an emperor an exquisite and extremely patient lover.

✨Capricorn mars tends to be very competitive when it comes to business, success, money, reputation. You will want to achieve the biggest and be the best. When it comes to love, they can be quite cold sometimes. Many times they can put the business before the person. Their anger is usually not expressed, many times they keep it inside. Their nature is not so much focused on several things but on only one. It's the same in love - you like to invest in someone who seems stable and worth your time. They are not people who like to go on dates.

☁️Cancer Mars they have a very emotional response to things around them. You can hurt them quickly. They like to invest their time in their family, people close to them. They don't like average relationships. Many times their energy is emotional. Their anger is responsive in many ways but can also change quickly. They are a sign that can quickly forgive (even if it doesn't seem like it at first). They love stalking people. And when they want something, they will go anywhere to get it. They can do some pretty crazy stuff.

🥤Virgo Mars show practicality, decision-making and thinking. They know how to work hard for what they want if their desire is very strong. They put a lot of emphasis on hygiene, health, routine and lifestyle. They tend to dislike people who smoke or have strange habits. Many times they notice little things in people. They devote a lot of energy to staying in good health, but that's precisely why they can get sick. Because they can deal with it too much.

🥊Sagittarius Mars their energy is manifested through the will to live. They are the people who will always make you smile and make you feel that there is only one life and you can make the most of it. Spontaneous people and many times make an impulsive decision, which many times turns out to be good. They laugh a lot and are optimistic. They give a lot of energy to travel, spirituality, playfulness, learning, new things. Their approach is often optimistic, although they can have a lot of anger behind it. However, since this is a fiery sign, they can be impulsive, react violently, directly, rudely. They are tough opponents and when they set a goal they will achieve it. They can be very competitive when it comes to something they are passionate about. Or when it comes to a person who means a lot to them. They are not afraid to confront people and will always want quick actions and reactions. They almost never get sick, but that's because they are optimists.

🪂Leo Mars their energy is manifested through a passion for playfulness, childhood, fun. They put a lot of effort into having fun and enjoying the things they love. They have many hobbies. They can be possessive and jealous, but they won't show it right away. A lot depends on the energy they want to feel with the person. When they notice that the person they want has fans, they will become even more competitive. They will be most competitive in sports or love. Many times they will want to conquer you with their dominance. They are not afraid of challenges and will step into them without fear if they are mature enough. They are fighting and persistent in themselves. Actions count for them.

🎢Gemini Mars their energy is very mutable. They are all over the place most of their time. And they need a lot of change but they are most good with words than actions. They will talk much more than actually do. They can be very unstable and change their mind many times. They will often compete when it comes to verbal duels. Even at school, they know how to compete. Their health fluctuates because they can become quite anxious at times or think too much about things they cannot change. They can seduce you with mind games.

🫧Libra Mars their energy usually shows through the relationships but can be different kind of relationship it doesn't meant to be like romantic relationship. It can be friendships. If they are not in a relationship, they can give a lot of their energy to their friends. Their anger is usually passive aggressive. They often avoid conflicts because they like peace. Their passive aggressive behavior can lead to them getting sick (because they keep too much anger inside). It is good for them to express their feelings and anger as much as possible.

⛸️Aquarius Mars their energy is focused on humanitarian matters (they like to help others), dreams, goals, social networks. They like to do the things they like. They also like to be alone. They have rebellious kind of anger so they will fight for the rights or people they love or things that are connected to them. But they are not people who fight about I don't know some random stuff. They have the unique way how to seduce people and it's always different. They can also seduce you with their uniqueness or something about that is so different and this is why people are attracted to them somehow. They can work a lot on staying in shape and following themselves. Because they can get sick unexpectedly. Many times the diseases are very strange.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🍸🎸🧁

[zeropro]

Skywarp: Origins Chapter 3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63945331/chapters/164529697

The trilogy is complete! ^o^ Thank you all so much for reading! Full chapter under the cut:

Chapter 3

Thundercracker repeated the mantra.

Don’t think, just do it.

Skywarp had given him that piece of advice the day of the senate massacre. While Megatron and Starscream lead the attack on the ground, he and Skywarp were tasked with chasing down an escaping airship full of Cybertron’s affluent elite. 

According to Starscream, the senators may have been the ones passing the corrupt laws, but they themselves were still slaves to the bottom line. The wealthy were just as culpable in the crime of governance.

But they weren't soldiers, or fighters. Most of them didn't even have weapons at the time. 

He couldn't stop thinking about their faces. 

Their ugly, pathetic, terrified faces as they begged helplessly for their lives, cowering in their luxury airship, clutching at jewelry that cost more than he’d ever made in a whole stellar cycle.

The Decepticons killed them all.

Thundercracker told himself it was due justice. That they were on the right side of history. That there had been no other way.

His hands still shook sometimes.

Skywarp didn't seem to spend any amount of his processor thinking about the morality of war. In fact, he didn't seem to dwell on much of anything. It was probably why he was so happy all the time. Thundercracker almost envied that. Life would be so much simpler if he could just turn his processor off and follow orders. 

Starscream was at least a smarter mech than he was when it came to politics. Starscream had a lot of experience with it and spent a lot of time with the Decepticon high command. The smaller seeker had a way of pulling him out of his helm and reminding him of the bigger picture. It helped to know why the Decepticons were doing the things they were doing, it just didn't make doing it any easier.

The world was constantly changing, and normalcy was nowhere to be found. Thundercracker did his best to cope. Half the time he could cling to Starscream’s reassuring words, and the other half he spent repeating Skywarp’s mantra.

In this way, Thundercracker was determined to survive the war.

Expelling another vent of air to calm his nerves, Thundercracker refocused on the ceremony in front of him. Megatron’s speech had just concluded, and the room was shaking with cheers as the Seekers applauded their newly appointed Air Commander. A rare smile ghosted across Thundercracker’s faceplates. He was proud of his friend. Starscream had worked hard to earn this position, with Thundercracker content to watch him climb the ranks from a safe distance. When it came to war, to politics, to leadership, Thundercracker preferred to hover on the sidelines.

That was all about to change.

“Now, Air Commander Starscream, name your Command Trine,” Megatron bid. 

A hush fell over the room; every Seeker looked up expectantly. The trine was a military formation: three Seekers always flew better than one. It was a matter of tactics, but for warbuilds, especially first-generation Seekers, there was a deeper, almost cultural significance to the position. Even Thundercracker, who lived most of his function as a civilian, understood it. Trine meant trust. Trine meant safety. To be trined was to be committed to flying together, fighting together, and quite often, dying together. 

Starscream gave an assured smile as he held his hand out ceremoniously. 

“I name Skywarp.”

There was murmured approval, and a few Seekers nodded knowingly. The black and purple teleporter was an obvious and expected choice. He had an exceptionally powerful outlier ability and had been a part of Megatron’s inner circle since before the bombing of Vos. Skywarp squealed as he pranced onto the platform to stand by Starscream’s side. Thundercracker took another steadying vent.

“And Thundercracker.”

The difference in response was palpable. A few optics turned on him as a wave of whispers rose from the ranks; baffled surprise, confusion, and dissatisfaction laced the air. Thundercracker hated being the center of so much scrutiny; despite having prepared himself all night, it still made him want to flee the room.

Starscream watched all this, completely at ease among the Decepticon High Command, hand extended with the most confident smile on his face. If Thundercracker accepted this position, he’d be up there too, no longer able to hide away in the background. Every optic would be on him, judging him, expecting things of him. 

Don't think, don't think, just do it. Forcefully, he relaxed his wings and held his head high as he moved through the crowd. 

A red and black Polyhexian seeker with flames detailing his wings stepped forward to block his path. “Thrust,” Thundercracker acknowledged flatly, planting his peds in proper military form. 

The other seeker puffed out his chest. “Stay right where you are, Thundercracker. I’m challenging you for your position in the Command Trine!” 

This too had been expected. Flying as the Air Commander’s wing mate was a coveted position. Skywarp was an obvious choice, but Thundercracker was a nobody. No one knew who he was or what he could do, and many would see themselves better suited to the role. 

Thundercracker suppressed a grin. If there was one thing he was happy to do, it was proving his superior skill in the air.

This wasn’t about skill, however; it was about establishing control. It was about proving to the Seekers that the Air Commander’s trine was not to be messed with in their own right. If Thundercracker accepted one challenge, his position would be forever open to more. Thundercracker rumbled his engine low and threatening and drew himself to his full height. Starscream chose him for this role and trusted him to protect his wing both in the air and on the ground. Thundercracker would honor that trust.

“Are you questioning your Air Commander’s judgment?” he said, cold and calm. Thrust seemed to visibly whither, optics widening as he took a step back. 

“N-no, of course not. It’s just…” He regained some of his earlier bravado with a flare of his wings, “Everyone here knows you’re a coward.”

Thundercracker didn't flinch at the insult. He let it hang in the air until several mechs started shifting uncomfortably. Slowly, methodically, he turned as if to walk away. The moment he saw the corner of Thrust’s mouth twitch upward in a smirk, he made his move.

Thundercracker had spent a lot more time than most Seekers training in hand to hand. His priority had always been to subdue and disarm rather than deactivate, and that was hard to do when shooting from the air. Before anyone knew what happened, Thrust was laid flat on his back, wings pinned to the ground by Thundercracker’s peds, both shoulder cannons torn brutally off. Thundercracker aimed Thrust’s own weapons at him for a moment before tossing them aside and addressing the rest of the Seekers.

“I was not aware challenges were being acknowledged today. If our leader sanctions it,” and here he turned towards the platform to extend a respectful hand towards Megatron, “I will be happy to oblige.”

The Decepticon leader smiled approvingly. “That will not be necessary, Thundercracker. I trust in my Air Commander’s selection.”

And that was the final word.

Thundercracker met no further opposition on his way to the front, and the ceremony was concluded shortly after. And then came the drinks. Decepticons loved to party. Normally, during such celebrations, Thundercracker would tuck himself away in a corner somewhere, where he could comfortably watch the festivities without getting involved. That was significantly harder to do when he was one-third of the reason for the celebration in the first place. Starscream worked the crowd as he usually did, greeting every mech by name and somehow juggling three conversations at once at any given point in time. It was all Thundercracker could do to just stay close, letting Starscream redirect all attention off of him.

Thundercracker felt ready to keel over by the end of it all.

It had been Skywarp that finally provided the excuse he needed to leave the gathering. The small Seeker had downed an extra five drinks too many, and having made out with half the Seekers in the room, he was now draped across Thundercracker’s back, completely crashed out. 

“Well, that's one way to keep Skywarp out of trouble!” Starscream laughed, before waving his new trinemates off to the barracks. Thundercracker was grateful for the dismissal, even if it meant he had to now drag a semi-unconscious Skywarp the entire way there.

It wasn't as easy as it looked. Unlike Starscream, whom Thundercracker could carry easily, Skywarp was surprisingly dense for his size. Thundercracker found himself needing to take more than a few pauses just to let his cooling fans work for a klick.

Skywarp giggled unprompted.

“At least one of us is having a good time,” Thundercracker grumbled. Hiking his overcharged passenger higher on his back, he continued making his way through the compound.

“M’sorry fer callin’ you a sap…”

Thundercracker nearly stumbled. It had been so soft. Had Skywarp not been right by his audio receptors, he wouldn't have even heard it. When it seemed like his only response was going to be a prolonged silence, Skywarp tightened his hold around his neck and whined louder, “I said I’m sorryyyyyuuh!”

Thundercracker choked. “Okay! okay! I heard you! It’s fine… Don’t worry about it.”

“Mmm…” Skywarp rubbed his helm against Thundercracker’s affectionately. “You were real cool today, Thunders. You really showed them. Heh heh.”

Thundercracker rolled his optics. “You’re drunk, Skywarp. Go to sleep.”

“No, YOU go to sleep! See how you like it. Treat me like I’m dumb. I’m no dumb!”

“No one said you were dumb, Skywarp.”

“Wuh! Why not?” Skywarp gasped, utterly offended. “Don’t they know? They don’t know!?”

Skywarp wasn't going to remember any of this once sober, Thundercracker realized. There was no real point in continuing the conversation.

“What do they not know?” he asked, despite himself.

Skywarp started giggling again.

“You’re alright, Thundercrackers. Cracker jackers. Thun da dun dun, why your designation so long? I’mma just call you TC. Can I call you TC? That's way easier!”

Thundercracker didn't know if he liked the new nickname.

“Try harder not to die out there, TC.”

Thundercracker paused midstep, fans whirling. Skywarp looked around for a moment, decided they had not reached the berths yet, and rested his chin back down against Thundercracker’s shoulder.

“Y’know, Mmmegatron told me that once… He said, ‘Skywarp, try harder not to die out there? Cuz… cuz… y’know? There are mechs who like you, or something.’ Heh, isn't that funny?” 

Thundercracker gave him an incredulous look. “Funny how?”

Skywarp hummed, and then patted him on the helm. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

“W-what’s not my fault?”

“Oh, get over yourself. You’re not special!”

Thundercracker had lost the thread of conversation, if there ever was one to begin with, so he started plodding on again in silence.

Just as he thought Skywarp might have drifted into recharge, the black jet started sniffling.

“Are…are you crying right now?”

“You’re mad at me.”

“What? no! I… No, I’m not.”

Skywarp hid his face in Thundercracker’s neck and mumbled, ”I didn't mean it. You can be a little bit special.”

“...Thanks.”

“But only a little bit.”

Thundercracker almost laughed. “How generous of you, Skywarp.”

“Redwing was special.”

Thundercracker glanced sideways at Skywarp’s face. “Who’s Redwing?”

“Dead,” Skywarp shrugged dismissively, as if it were the most natural thing to say. “I liked a lot of the guys back then. I liked Redwing too. Redwing was cool. I remember thinking he was cool, anyway. Redwing died laughing, y’know. I remember thinking, that's how I wanna go.”

Thundercracker stared at the floor; he was so tired. “Please don’t say stuff like that.”

“What’s the big deal? Seekers don’t live that long anyway!”

“Don’t be stupid. We live as long as anybody else.”

”Oh yeah, I forgot, heh. I guess all the guys back then just really sucked at it. I guess that means I’m actually really good at it! Ahahahaha!”

Skywarp felt heavy on his back. What was he supposed to say to that? He supposed it didn’t really matter, as much as Skywarp would remember it. Even so, he didn’t feel right not saying anything at all.

“I’m…sorry you’ve lost so many friends.”

“It’s okay,” Skywarp said, and then kissed the side of his helm. “I forgive you.”

Thundercracker really did laugh this time, shaking his head. “I'm starting to see why Starscream likes you so much.”

Skywarp giggled. “Starscream likes me? That means… that means … Add Megatron, and that makes…” He struggled for a moment, “Two whole guys who like me!” 

Thundercracker chuckled. “Make that three.”

Not to be outdone, Skywarp threw his arms up and shouted, “Four! Five! Six!”

The room where all the Seekers stayed was dark and empty when Thundercracker finally reached it. Not knowing which of the many identical berths Skywarp usually recharged on, and not wanting to upset anyone else, Thundercracker dropped the teleporter sideways on his own slab and then lay down next to him, both their legs hanging off the side. 

After a moment of silence, Skywarp hummed thoughtfully.

“I bet those bots we rescued had guys who liked them, huh?”

“Yeah,” Thundercracker smiled, “I bet they did.”

[stormsthatrage]

Have a Bleach extended-winter-war time-travel-fix-it idea. In this AU Kaien's death happened before the whole turn-back-the-pendulum arc. (Yes, another Bleach time-travel AU, I know, shut up.)

As Ichigo and Kisuke are planning to go back to the past, Kisuke makes sure to emphasize to Ichigo that they have to protect Shiba Kaien. Apparently, it's of the utmost importance.

Ichigo doesn't know exactly how Kaien's continued well-being plays into saving the future. Kisuke never really explains it, or gives him a straight answer when he asks. But Ichigo knows that the Shiba Clan-Head carried a great deal of political power, and Ichigo also knows that Kaien -- according to Kukaku and Rukia -- was highly competent, incredibly noble, and fundamentally kind. It's not exactly unintuitive that a person like that could be important to bringing down Aizen.

So Ichigo listens, when Kisuke tells him to protect Shiba Kaien. He memorizes how Kaien died in the original timeline. He's attentive as Kisuke reiterates for the thousandth time that Aizen will keep trying to assassinate Kaien until he succeeds. He takes notes when Kisuke hypothesizes about what Aizen's various assassination attempts might look like -- poison during a meal, hired assassins at night, an ambush during a mission.

Ichigo ingrains the assignment into his core: protect Shiba Kaien, because if Kaien falls, the mission fails.

So when Kisuke slips a paralytic into Ichigo's tea and places Ichigo in the middle of the time-travel kido array and drains the entirety of his own spiritual energy to activate the array, a sacrifice that Ichigo never would have agreed to--

Well. The first thing Ichigo does when he arrives back in the past, numb and alone and only able to function by focusing on the duty that is his purpose -- is track down Shiba Kaien.

After all, if Ichigo is going to kill Aizen -- and he is, no matter what it takes -- he needs to keep Kaien alive.

Ichigo goes straight to the Shiba family grounds. In true Shiba fashion, they accept him immediately as family. They tend to his wounds and give him a meal and welcome him home. They let him get away with his weak excuses and explanations, and they defend his presence to the rest of Soul Society.

Kaien, in accordance with everything Ichigo has heard about the man, personally takes the newest addition to the family under his wing.

Ichigo's plans to deal with Aizen take shape around his need to keep an eye on Kaien.

Ichigo, instead of running as far and fast as he can from the Shiba clan, accepts the offer to live in the Shiba compound. He gets to know every clan member and retainer, subtly vetting for traitors. He sleeps in a room near Kaien's, allowing him to both guard against assassins at night and place warding runes around Kaien's door without having to worry about being caught somewhere he has no business being.

He joins the Court Guard in the 13th division instead of the 5th, because the only real way to protect Kaien on a mission is to be there with him. Ichigo knows that if there's an ambush, or if the mission details have been tampered with, he'll be more than enough fire power to get Kaien out of it. And it's easy to always get paired with Kaien; Kaien -- reliably taking every opportunity to hover around Ichigo that he's offered -- does most of the work, leveraging his status as lieutenant and Ichigo's combat ability to keep them together.

Ichigo finds himself frequently taking meals with Kaien and Kaien's friends. Kaien always invites Ichigo, and Ichigo accepts so he can subtly check the food for poison.

(Ichigo does not tell Kaien about Aizen. Ichigo is still unsure what Kaien's role is in the whole fight, and in the meantime, telling him about Aizen is a sure way to get him killed.)

Things heat up. Ichigo prevents both Miyako and Kaien's death, killing Metastacia before it can hurt anyone. Ichigo's shadow war against Aizen gets more intense. Ichigo sneaks out regularly to dismantle Aizen's illusions, destroy his labs, and attack his network of power, slowly weakening him.

Ichigo waits for the assassination attempts against Kaien, but they don't come, even several weeks after Metastacia fails. Ichigo takes it as a sign that he's got Aizen distracted.

Things continue for a while. Ichigo falls into a strange routine.

(And Ichigo tries not to break, seeing so many of his loved ones alive and unknowing of him. It is agony, to be around Shunsui, who is not his mentor, and the Visored, who are neither visored nor pack.

But the worst is when Captains Urahara and Shihouin catch on to his war against Aizen. He finds himself working with them as allies.

Allies. Mere allies, instead of --

Well. Not that it matters anymore.

All that matters is his duty.)

Time passes. Aizen weakens. There are no attempts on Kaien's life yet.

And then Aizen's web has unraveled enough for Ichigo to attack.

It's a long battle. It's a bloody battle. It's a very public battle.

Ichigo wins.

And it's only after it's all over -- after Aizen's crimes are revealed and Soul Society is at peace and the future is saved; after Ichigo finds himself still alive and adrift, with nothing left obligating him to keep going and everything telling him to give up; as Kaien refuses to leave Ichigo alone and escorts him to regular appointments with Unohana and forces him to talk about the truth of his past --

It's only then that it clicks.

Ichigo is whispering secrets about the future into Kaien's chest, Kaien's arms wrapped tight around him, when Ichigo confesses that he messed up, that he put the Shiba clan in unnecessary danger. Ichigo tells Kaien about his death in the original timeline. He talks about how Kisuke told him that in this timeline, Aizen would try and kill Kaien again if the first attempt failed. Ichigo promises desperately that he never would have sought out the family -- would have kept the danger far, far away from them -- if he hadn't thought he had to watch Kaien's movements so closely.

And Ichigo admits that Aizen never actually tried again. Ichigo admits that he and Kisuke miscalculated, that Ichigo brought danger to the Shiba's doorstep for nothing.

It happens like this:

First, the words leave his lips, "Kisuke" and "miscalculated" in the same sentence. Hearing himself say it lays bare the absurdity of its premise.

Then, Kaien draws away slightly, to look Ichigo in the eyes. Ichigo sees, plain on Kaien's face, a terrible, damning gratefulness.

Then, Kaien says -- fierce and defiant in the face of what could have been -- "I am so glad you came home."

And it clicks. At last, Kisuke's final manipulation reveals itself to Ichigo's eyes.

The emotions flash through him: the sting of betrayal; a flavor of love that bursts across his tastebuds as hurt; a familiar brand of exasperation that, a split second later, has his knees giving out under the weight of old pain made fresh.

Kaien catches Ichigo before he hits the ground and holds him as he shatters. And Ichigo can barely breathe through the knowledge that Kisuke would have been so smug to see them.

A sob rips itself from Ichigo's chest, and it's followed by another, and another.

Ichigo's older cousin holds him, in the home of their family, through it all.

_________

THE END except not really.

This must immediately be followed by a whole arc where Kaien, much to his own dismay, finds himself trying to hook Urahara up with his little cousin.

After all, Future-Urahara sent Ichigo to the Shiba clan. Future-Urahara tricked his little cousin into bypassing his own self-destructive tendencies to seek out family and love and support. Clearly, Urahara would actually be good for Ichigo.

And, you know, Ichigo clearly loves Younger-Urahara, judging by Ichigo's whole... well, everything, whenever the two interact.

(This whole matchmaking endeavor is made easier by the fact that 1) Kisuke is already infatuated, fascinated, and not a tiny-bit madly in love, and 2) Yoruichi is also, from the other end, trying to set Kisuke up with Ichigo.

This whole endeavor is made more difficult by the fact that 1) Ichigo is in denial that he loves this younger Kisuke since he never thought this younger Kisuke could also fall in love with him, 2) Kisuke is in denial that he loves Ichigo because that is a Shiba and he himself is a creepy low-born ex-assassin mad-scientist, and 3) neither Ichigo nor Kisuke know what it looks like when someone is interested in them.)

Poor Kaien. He succeeds eventually, but not before witnessing truly legendary social ineptitude.