#chronic mental illness

[chaoticautie]

As someone who is somewhat of a “veteran” of the online ND community, I’m disappointed in the lack of positivity and love for lesser known diverse cognitive conditions, and the opposing abundance of posts about “cures” or outdated criteria or treatments for those conditions. So, without further ado, I want to say hello to anyone with any of the disorders I’m listing, and give them the love and support that hardly anyone else in our community has… Shoutout to:

People with Down syndrome

People with Fragile X

People with William’s syndrome

People with dyslexia

People with dyspraxia

People with dyscalculia

People with dysgraphia

People with Prader-Willi syndrome

People with PANS or PANDAS

People with aphasia

People with a TBI (traumatic brain injury)

People with chronic/early onset mental illnesses

People with cerebral palsy

People with FASD or were otherwise disabled via other substances in utero

And many, many more I may have forgotten to list (but still support and love, I will add more to my list)

You are all beautiful and wonderful, and you all deserve so more love, appreciation, acceptance and support. You are just as neurodiverse as the rest of us, and your voices deserve to be heard and amplified.

I love you all ❤️

[bpdcrybaby213]

Why do I feel like self destruction is the answer to every bad feeling I have? Any negative thoughts, go on...destroy yourself, you'll feel so much better.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Sometimes it feels like people kinda forget your pain when it’s chronic.

When someone healthy/able bodied gets sick or injured, people will pour out their support and understanding right away, which is good, obviously.

But after a while, people get tired of hearing about it.

They get tired of having to work around it, tired of having to be understanding.

But just because your empathy fades, doesn’t mean our pain and grief does.

I’m so, so tired of my pain. Of having to be understood. Of not having any chance to have a proper career, or dreams, or relationship.

I’m tired of my hands not working enough for me to write, draw and craft, which is what is normally keeping me going.

They just keep getting worse.

I’m tired of the pains related to my endometriosis and pcos making me unable to eat properly, get any exercise, and for making me bedridden more and more these days.

I’m tired of having to beg for support in what little buisniess I manage to make sure I survive during my rough recovery periods after surgeries and bad flare up’s.

I’m tired of knowing my life will not be a long one.

I’m tired of complaining, of being in pain, of grieving, of feeling like a burden.

There are no breaks for me.

That doesn’t mean I get used to it. I will never be used to it.

And I think I should be allowed to talk about all of this without feeling like a burden.

I probably won’t ever get to that point, but this is me trying to get there.

By being open and honest, and hoping that at least one person takes the time to read.

If you’re still here, still reading, thank you. It means the world.

Be kind to those around you who are like me.

We’re not happy about our situations, either, but having people willing to stick around and listen makes it a little easier to survive.

Thank you ❤️‍🩹

[bpdarlingx]

Giving away all your possessions & living out of boxes, so you don’t leave a mess behind for your loved ones to deal with>>>

[stressmallow]

[cheerfulnihilismqualitysuffering]

An internet friend passed away.

I've been a dried out husk of a person for a few months, in survival mode and barely speaking just to those who are closest to me...but still posting memes and chuckling with the audience because it's one of the few things that reminds me that I am connected to a community, even though it's parasocial relationship at best.

I've learned to live with a darkness in my heart. I've contemplated unaliving myself so often that it's not shocking or unnerving anymore. It's an old demon I've befriended. "Hello, darkness, my old friend."

Not everyone has access to this. It's a curse of being overly self-aware and having an internal monologue, I think. The curse of seeing things to clearly. I call it the curse of Cassandra (of Troy). Cursed to speak the truth and never be needed or believed. I recently learned that 50-70% of people do not have an internal monologue and that made sense to me, experientially.

I'm not going to cavalierly recommend that you have tea and cake with your demons. That's a personal underworld journey to undertake, and it's definitely a heroic journey. If you want to take the journey, I have lots of advice but I don't know if I am capable of being anyone's Beatrice to their Dante.

hings I have learned to help me cope:

1. The cascade of neurochemicals that cause emotions take about 90 seconds to travel across the brain. Anything longer than that involves constructing a story around the emotion. Your mind plays tricks on you - you don't have to attach to, blend with, and follow your thoughts. You can learn to observe them.

2. Mindfulness practice sounds like new age hooey, but it has a strong evidence base. Jon Kabat-Zinn used MRI data to demonstrate the brain changes that happen after just 8 weeks of regular practice. It is the only tool I have found that works for me when I have nothing left to give, I found it when I was 18 and I've come back to it relentlessly for 25 years.

I decided that I wanted to see the story through to it's natural end, rather than throw the book away only part way through. That's what I think whenever the old demon that I've become so familiar with starts grumbling.

[fracturedanatomy]

i don't fully feel comfortable saying "trigger warning" anymore because now people have misused the term or make it a joke. i prefer saying "content warning" now, just because i don't feel like people will genuinely take me seriously if i say that something is a trigger. a lot of the time now people use the term "triggering" way too loosely. like something might be upsetting or produces lots of emotion but that is not the same as a trigger. coming from someone who has had ptsd and a chronic mental illness for as long as i can remember, i have lots of experience with triggers. please don't use the term triggering flippantly. it makes it harder for people to be taken seriously when they genuinely have triggers.

(also not saying you shouldn't use "trigger warning" its a personal preference that i don't)

[itsnotvenus]

guys i discovered the cure to bpd chronic boredom especially when on meds or unable to work/on welfare/depressed and its smoking 8 bowls a day and watching 2+ hour long low quality video essays about things you don’t care about also bonus points for alcohol and your fp

[paparflames]

When you just want to not be broken anymore.

[peppers-ghost-posts]

It’s weird how predictable my unstable mental state is.

My routines have been disrupted by a series of life changes. I started a new course of study, and I’m taking on freelance work until I can get a full time job in around a month. I also just started taking birth control, so my brain chemicals are still adjusting.

I know why I’m oscillating between manic and depressive states, why I struggle to keep up with eating and sleeping and socialising and hygiene.

I know I’ll level out eventually. I’ve done this cycle of scheduled insanity and stability so many times before. This is normal. This is forever.

(I pray for a miracle, may this time be the last time)

[bpdcrybaby213]

Is it a mental illness thing to constantly feel like you need to prove you're sick? Is that a BPD thing? I feel like I have to do drastic things to make people believe I'm unwell because people blame me for my symptoms. At this point I feel like in order to be heard, I'll have to swallow a bottle of pills and end up in a coma in the ICU or just dead. The sh only pisses them off. The drinking pisses them off. The depression and staying in bed pisses them off. They don't see it as cries for help, but only a burden.

[ascrapbooksposts]

Anyone with chronic illness have the fantasy of going to a doctor and spilling every thing and then having them actually help you?

[analanaisdying]

I’m kind of tempted to try recovery. With everything. I just feel like I’m going down a hole and I feel worse than I ever have before in my life. I can’t picture the future, I can’t do anything. I’m flunking out of school. I can’t picture myself ever getting married or having kids anymore. I feel like the only thing my future holds is complete destruction. I can see myself becoming homeless even. Mental illness isn’t fun. I fucking hate everything about myself. I would give anything to be normal.

But I’m so scared of antipsychotics because they’re notorious for causing weight gain. I don’t even know how I’d exist if I gained weight.

[bpdarlingx]

I hate that my BPD was literally caused by people abusing me but it’s my responsibility to heal myself and therapists don’t want to help because I’m ‘too complex’.

[stressmallow]

I don’t appreciate being alive and I think it’s rather unfair that nobody asked me how how I felt about this whole thing.

[cheerfulnihilismqualitysuffering]

Large mood