#lmao dear self: i do have to work my full time job

[ceriisetheflower]

Self Care (M)

omega!renjun

wc: 4.8k

synopsis: renjun decides to take on his first heat the best way he knows how, as luxuriously as possible.

cw: smut...a lot of it. in immense detail. sex toys, pornography, multiple orgasms, unrealistic amounts of cum, stomach bulge, male squirting/watersports (depending on what you consider squirt to be lmao), overstimulation, cum eating, dildo sucking, mentions of fictional heat related illnesses, america-centric world building, a bitch with no friends attempting friendly dialogue.

a/n: well here it is! first full fic. believe it or not this was meant to be no longer than 1k, then i realized i get kinda pissed when fics don't include enough context for elements in the fic so i'd be a hypocrite if i didn't paint a likely unnecessarily vivid picture. feedback is much appreciated!

we love u very dearly junnie B💛

❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈

The sound of the dryer finishing its freshly washed load of delicates interrupted his fifth run through of his checklist. “Ok, let’s see….lube? Check. Waterproof blankets? Check. Three hour long Alpha on Alpha porn playlist? Check.” Renjun finally sighed with relief. It’s not everyday he obsesses over the amount of lube he has in his arsenal (he restocks his eight oz bottle of sliquid sassy every eight weeks on the dot), but it’s a special occasion. The special occasion.

He rebukes the term “late-bloomer”, despite the average age for an omega’s first heat occurring around eighteen. Renjun has always justified his lack of mating cycles with his ever present practicality. “You were absolutely ridiculous for a week straight until your heat broke.” He recalls to Donghyuck during their semi-regularly scheduled facetime catch-up they’ve adopted post grad school.

“I had so much going on freshman year, it would’ve made no sense for me to have to deal with a heat. Twenty-four is a way better age anyways, my prefrontal cortex is like eighty-five percent done, I can actually handle my brain being scrambled eggs for five days”. He says passively, ignoring the unimpressed look coming from the boy on the other side of the phone.

He unfortunately remembers the horrors of hearing Donghyuck’s first heat through their paper mache dorm room walls when they were eighteen, and the next heat three months later, and the next eighteen heats he endured as Donghyuck’s roommate. He’s convinced the boy has had enough heats for the both of them, especially considering Renjun was held solely responsible for ensuring his dear friend didn’t die of hunger or dehydration through them. It's a thankless job, but someone had to do it.

“Right, so I guess twenty-four is also the age where you’re finally gonna finish growing huh? Prime time to finally reach big boy height.” Donghyuck quips back, taking a break from grading assignments to goad the blonde boy giving him a deadpan stare through the phone.

“Bitch you’re literally 5’6 1/2 what are you talking about?” Renjun retorts, “it’s no way you’re calling me short when you just complained about how you cant find shoe lifts in canada.” Donghyuck widens his eyes in shock. “Talking about shoe lifts when you just begged me to ask Doyoung if he could hem those jeans 6 inches shorter is crazy work Renjun.” 

They continue their childlike bickering over their similarly petite frames for an unreasonable amount of time, before Donghyuck remembers the real reason for today’s meeting. “Ok but seriously, how are you feeling about this whole thing? I know it’s kinda a lot at once, be honest with me?” Donghyuck starts. He woke up two days ago to Renjun’s frenzied calls, knowing his friend was well aware that waking hours for him in Atlanta were still Donghyuck’s “dead to the world” hours in Vancouver, he was for certain there was an actual emergency.

Renjun had woken up with a pounding headache, abdominal cramps, and the unsettlingly wet mouth feel that comes right before vomiting. He knew what that meant, but refused to actually confront what was happening until Donghyuck got a look at him and convinced him to go to the omega urgent care. Donghyuck sat on the phone with him while he waited for the doctor, cheered as Renjun got the confirmation he was in pre-heat (much to Renjun’s dismay), and helped him pick the best painkillers to aid his cramps and headache. It was the best he could do from another country, fighting the urge to book a flight to go support his best friend in what’s easily the most important event in an omega's life. His husband only barely managed to convince him it was unnecessary and that they could just send him a nice care package in the mail on expedited shipping, Mark was always the level headed one in the relationship.

Renjun sighed before he could answer. “To keep it one-hundred percent real with you, I’m terrified. Like am I gonna be okay? What if I fuck up somehow and I end up never being able to have kids or something insane? Anything could happen?” Renjun said, ever the worrywort and full of trepidation about new experiences. Donghyuck scoffed, rolling his eyes at the catastrophization of the world’s most natural activity. “Friend, how could you possibly fuck up jerking off? You’ve had a solid twelve years of experience for this, relax!” Renjun shut his eyes and huffed in annoyance, “Obviously that’s not what I’m worried about idiot. I’m worried that I won’t be able to actually satisfy myself through the whole thing, and you know what happens if I can’t be fully satisfied.” Donghyuck sighs in acknowledgement.

Continuous Heating Syndrome, colloquially known as a heat frenzy, is a rare but unfortunate side effect of a heat that goes unsatiated. Nonstop migraines, vomiting, loss of motor function, seizures, or shit...even worse. Donghyuck has heard horror stories of omegas having perfectly normal heats that turn into three week stints at the hospital after they couldn’t break. Scary shit. Rare for all omegas, but increasingly likely for an unmated omega without consistent access to a knot, a category which Renjun unfortunately falls into. “Look at it this way” Donghyuck starts, “It’s not like you have no options at all. You don’t necessarily have to do this alone.” Renjun grimaces. He knows exactly where Donghyuck is going with this, and he’s not even remotely here for it.

 “I’m not calling the heat hotline.” Renjun was scared, not desperate. He had no reason to hire a random Alpha who needed extra money to come fuck him for five days straight, he could figure something else out for sure. “Oh girl please!” Donghyuck exclaims, “That’s literally exactly what you need right now! They’re super strict about testing so you won’t have to worry about that, plus it’s covered by your insurance? What is the issue?” Renjun rolls his eyes, ‘The issue is that you think i’m supposed to just randomly fuck the first alpha who doesn’t look like he snuck on the planet just to stop myself from going into a coma, I have options bitch!” 

Donghyuck scoffs, “Sure you do. Is now the time when Jen and Jae finally jump through the screen of their newest edging scene to keep you company through your heat? Porn only takes you so far, friend.” Renjun hates that Donghyuck knows him well enough to know he’s been anxiously scouring his favorite alpha pornstars’ onlyfans to find some semblance of relief through his rapidly approaching week of agony. “I have toys! So many toys! I don’t need an alpha at all, I have like six different vibrating cocks to choose from” Renjun grumbled. He was a fully self sufficient twenty-four year old omega who doesn’t need an alpha! Or so he continues to force himself to believe.

“If you’re gonna be stubborn about it, the least you can do is be safe.” Donghyuck says, his worried expression softening the defensive stance Renjun has adopted. “You do have someone nearby right? Just in case you need someone to check in on you in person?” “Of course, Yangyang and Chenle are in the building down the street, if I need a restock on anything or if I start overheating and dying I can call them.” Renjun replies, in an attempt to calm his friend from his concerns. “You’re not gonna die girl. Especially since I found the perfect thing to help you out!” Donghyuck beams, giving Renjun his signature “I’ve done something I know you won’t like but I’m smart enough to know it’s what you need" look.

“Is it a dick? Don’t buy me a dick Hyuck I swear to god.” Renjun says, “Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time? Dick shopping instead of feeling sorry for me? I can't believe this.” “If it makes you feel better it’s not a dick, you have so many other ones another would be excessive, even for me. You’re gonna love it though! All those fears of heat frenzy are gonna go right out the window!” Renjun eyes the brunette through the screen suspiciously, Donghyuck’s odd enthusiasm has been the catalyst to multiple cautionary tales Renjun is saving for his grandkids. Now might be the worst time to let his guard down. “I swear to god, if it’s something weird i’m sending it back and getting a restraining order.” Donghyuck giggles in nefarious delight, “It’ll be at your doorstep in two days!” Renjun groans in horror.

Renjun is shaken from his daydream riddled with Donghyuck’s alarming cackles by the sound of the doorbell being rang for the fourth time. “Oh! Coming, coming, so sorry!” He yells out, rushing to the front door to see his instacart delivery driver struggling to hold Renjun’s last minute groceries. The poor guy takes a deep breath and tries not to look nearly as phased as he is by Renjun’s sweet bergamot scent. “I-I wasn’t able to find the caramel pecan cookies, so I got you an extra box of kitchen sink cookies, I hope that’s ok?” The man stutters, clearly fighting the urge to comment on what smells like the sweetest omega he’d ever met. “Oh no worries! Thank you so much, they always go out of stock pretty quick.” Renjun replies, now increasingly aware of the alpha’s growing nervousness and intensified teakwood scent.

He hurries to grab the groceries from the boy and set them on his kitchen counter. “Here you go!” Renjun says, handing over his nice ten percent tip for the guy’s troubles. “T-T-Thank you!” he replies, after making a horribly obvious attempt at trying to inhale as much of Renjun’s residual scent on the ten dollar bill. Renjun awkwardly waves him goodbye, and closes the door of his apartment asking whichever deity that watches over him why he couldn’t have already been mated to avoid having to endure that. The plights of a single omega, he thinks to himself, now rapidly moving towards his kitchen to take final inventory. 

His heat is scheduled to begin sometime tonight, made clear by his overwhelming scent and his unbearable body temperature. He’s already considered turning his air conditioner up higher, but realizing that his poor plants would hate to live in a house that’s fifty-five degrees for a week straight, he suffers in a scantily clad haze. He’s stocked up with seven cases of water, four boxes of cookies, six frozen pizzas, and three family sized bags of chicken nuggets. His poor air-fryer will be working overtime this week, Renjun is fully prepared to only have twenty minutes of energy between heat spikes to keep himself semi-sufficiently nourished. He grabs an armful of waters and sports drinks he’d picked up earlier that week to carry them to his room. He placed them next to the other small snacks he’d put in his mini fridge conveniently sitting next to his nest, there was no way he’d be able to make it to the kitchen after the first few rounds and immediate hydration was a non-negotiable.

Renjun took a moment to be proud of himself. He was a single omega preparing for the most intense and important event of his life. All those incredibly awkward sex-ed lessons he endured in middle school, and the trauma-inducing nights spent handing Donghyuck and Mark bottles of gatorade and fruit snacks while trying to avoid  seeing any genitals had finally led up to this moment. Renjun was fully prepared. Renjun was gonna be okay. 

His doorbell rings again. This time unexpectedly. He opens the door to find another delivery man, this time an omega, Renjun can tell by the soft lavender scent. “Order for Renjun Huang?’ The man asks. Renjun grimaces at the horrifically American butchering of his name, giving a pleasant but unsure smile. “Yes! That’s me” Renjun replies, taking a look at the ominously large box the man is holding. "Great, sign here please” He grumbles, trying to make quick work of what Renjun can only presume is his last delivery of the day. Renjun makes quick work of scribbling his signature on the dotted line, before mumbling a quick thank you and grabbing the box. It’s oddly heavy, which wouldn’t be too concerning, until he took a closer look at the label and read ‘From: Mark and Donghyuck ♡,” in Donghyuck’s messy half cursive half print handwriting.

“Oh dear god” Renjun thinks, now the weight of the box is a genuine cause for concern. He heaves the box to his counter and takes a deep breath before cutting it open. Much to his surprise, it’s all normal nice things. He pulls out a box of the maple cookies Renjun became obsessed with when Mark brought them back a box after returning to campus from his thanksgiving break in Vancouver, the ones Renjun was pissed to find out aren’t available in Atlanta. He sees a stuffed bear and stuffed cheetah wrapped in plastic, Renjun pulls them out to admire the resemblance to his dear friends before he realizes they were both scented like Hyuck and Mark. Renjun could just cry. He felt so loved and cherished by his best friend, how loving and thoughtful Donghyuck always was despite being a smug piece of shit ninety percent of the time. He’s been wanting nothing more than to experience one of their “cuddle puddles”, that while Renjun would always protest, he secretly loved. He pulls out a lovely soft yellow blanket with pretty little ruffles on the ends, perfect to go in his nest for added comfort. Wrapped in the blanket is a little note: 

 “You’re gonna have a great time Junnie! Don’t overthink things, just relax and enjoy the ride! We love you so very much! - Hyuckie and Markie”

Renjun is tearing up, his friends love him so much, he’s gonna be okay! Then he sees another box at the bottom, hidden by the blanket and other gifts before it. He shimmies the black box out of the larger brown one and places it on the counter, now able to get a full look at what the picture on the box is displaying. The tears instantly dry. The feelings of love and admiration are replaced with immediate annoyance.

In a scary showcase of friendship telepathy, his phone rings, lighting up with the picture Donghyuck took of his flared nostrils freshman year. Renjun sighs, then answers the phone. “Why would you buy me a fuck machine?” Renjun stares into the phone, hoping to look as menacing as he can in a hello kitty headband holding his blonde strands from his face. “I see you got our present.” Donghyuck replies, shit eating grin so intense his lips were threatening to split apart. “I told you I had just the thing in mind for your heat girlie!” Renjun huffs with the full intent to call Donghyuck everything but a child of god, but he’s getting hotter and the throbbing between his legs is getting more intense. Tonight he chooses peace. “In seven days you’ll begin to cough” he says, and hangs up the phone to let out a loud exasperated grunt. 

Now the real preparation begins. Renjun walks over to his dryer and pulls out his satin robe he’d freshly washed for the occasion. He makes his way over to his bathroom to begin the most intense shower he’s had since his last failed date with an alpha he met on Wolfr. “Nice dick, horrendous vibes.” Renjun shudders at the memory. “Maybe that’s just how guys from Connecticut are? Connecticut is barely a real place, who cares.” He pauses his internal monologue for a moment to place a vanilla scented shower steamer in the corner of the tub. He lights himself a few overpriced indie candles he got from a small business bazaar in the city, and starts easing himself out of his tiny shorts.

He takes his time pulling the silky fabric of his briefs, gently coaxing his dick out of the fabric. He shudders at the cold air hitting his half-hard cock, sending shivers up his spine and another light stream of slick out of his tip. “Fuck,” He moans softly, entirely too aroused for his own good. He pulls his shirt over his head, shuddering again when the air hits his puffy swollen nipples. He takes the time to get a full look at himself in the full size mirror. “Fuck I’m hot. No wonder that Alpha almost popped his knot earlier,” Renjun smiles to himself confidently.

He makes his way into the shower, taking a deep breath of the warm vanilla scent circling him, meshing wonderfly with his own light citrusy aroma. The hot water of the shower electrifies Renjun’s body, he takes a moment to soak in the amazing feeling of the heat comforting his aching limbs. He starts with his favorite lemon and honey scented body wash to begin carefully massaging his arms and chest with the warm and fruity bubbles.

The sensation of the lather was already driving him crazy, absolutely loving the way his hands gilded seamlessly over his hips and ass. Renjun wasn’t normally the type to be so turned on by his own body, he guesses it’s just the excess hormones making any sight of bare skin immensely arousing. He snaps out of his hormone induced stupor to remember that he has a whole shower routine to get through, so he gives his soft chest a final squeeze, then moves back under the welcoming stream of the water to rinse himself clean. He grabs his body scrub and locks in for the remainder of his shower. 

Renjun emerges in a cloud of sugary citrus air, intoxicating even to himself. He wraps himself in his gold satin robe, and makes his way to his vanity for his finishing touches. Renjun digs through his copious amounts of products to find the expensive body oil he’s been saving for this very occasion. He strips off his robe, and starts massaging the oil into his skin, starting at his legs. Every dip his fingers make into his skin brings him closer to ecstasy. Closer to what he knows is gonna be the most intense feeling of his life. He’s just barely finished rubbing himself down when he starts leaking a new stream of slick from his puckered asshole.

“Oh shit, that must mean it’s about to be time huh?” He figures, moving to wrap his robe around him yet again to avoid his neighbors getting a free show through his open blinds. He draws the curtains, dims the lights, and connects his television to his laptop for an optimized viewing experience. He already has his nightly entertainment pulled up, three hours of Jen and Jae’s best material. Nothing that riles Renjun up more than seeing an alpha take a eleven inch dick like he was made for it.

He settles into the spot he carefully carved into his nest, when he lays his eyes on the pretty yellow blanket Donghyuck sent him in his care package. Then he thinks about what else was present in the care package. He pauses for a second, thinking about how he actually hadn’t even taken the fuck machine out of the box. “Well obviously I didn’t take it out the box, I’m not giving Hyuck the satisfaction of knowing I used a toy he gave me,” Renjun thinks to himself. Then again, it’s not as if Hyuck has to know Renjun used it. Then again, it’s not as if using it could be a bad idea, Renjun considers.

He drags himself out of bed to collect the box from the kitchen counter, setting it down on his bed as he begins to actually open the machine. He definitely recognizes the machine, it’s pretty famous among omega content creators due to its lightweight build and convenient suction cup base to accommodate any dildo the user pleases. He looks over at the extended assortment of toys he’s curated for tonight’s events:  a vibrating fleshlight for his cock and three different dildos in ascending length and thickness for his differing stages of need. Renjun felt his hole flutter with excitement as another gush of slick slid down his thighs.

He thinks about it for a moment, considering how much nicer it'd be if he didn’t have to be responsible for thrusting his toys in and out of his slicked hole. He decides to use the suction cup base of the fuck machine to attach it to the headboard of his bed, checking the height of his placement to ensure it would be the perfect height for him to comfortably get backshots from the toy. If he’s desperate enough for it he, reasons, first choosing to hold off from letting Donghyuck be right about something for as long as possible. With the machine firmly secured, Renjun settles back into his comfy spot in the nest. He takes off his robe, presses play on his laptop, and reaches for his fresh bottle of lube to start massaging his warm cock. 

He’s 10 minutes into watching Jae eat Jen’s ass when Renjun finally has his first orgasm. His little heaves and moans fill the room as he milks himself of his well deserved release. “Ooh…ahh…ahh...fuck!” He shouts, pulling himself further into overstimulation as his vision starts to haze over. He’s laying in a puddle of hot slick, constantly pumping out more and more as he keeps toying with his cock. He’s using his other hand to pump his fingers furiously in his asshole, loving the searing sensation of his hole stretching over his digits. “Mmm fuck...fuck, ooh make him cum Jae” he moans, picturing himself as the pornstars’ third wheel in their bedroom.

He realizes his hands aren’t gonna cut it though, he releases his cock from his vice grip and winces as he pulls his fingers from his ass to grab his fleshlight and the smallest dildo from the pile. “Oh shit,” he hisses, feeling that same intoxicating stretch to the next degree as he tries to slip the seven inch toy deep inside. He needs another large squirt of lube to get the job done, a sign he hasn’t completely gone into heat quite yet, letting his semi-delirious brain know he still has some semblance of self-control.

He pours another squirt of lube directly into the fleshlight, giving it a few pumps with his fingers, and then using those same fingers to pump his cock, before squeezing his drained but solid dick into the tight slippery hole.  He’s fully entranced in the sensations of his body now, leaking so much slick his toy keeps slipping out of his hole. The throbbing between his legs is reaching an ungodly peak, rushing his second orgasm into him like a train. “Ahhhh FUCK,” he screams, feeling the pulse of his prostate send him into overdrive. His cum and slick is pooling at the base of his dick, overflowing the fleshlight and adding to the lewd sounds deafening his ears.

He makes a move to turn up the vibrations on the toy, barely getting a chance to move his hand from the button before the pulse of his third release shakes him to the core. Renjun is completely lost at this point, barely aware of anything around him other than his seemingly never ending fountain of cum and the hypnotic sights and sounds of his favorite muscle bottom getting dicked within an inch of his life. God he wishes that was him taking alpha meat. Then he remembers it totally can be him. He grabs the biggest dick he owns, neglecting any more prep that the fifteen minutes of intense pounding hasn’t provided, and sticks the heavy dildo to the waiting base of the fuck machine.

He positions himself comfortably in front of the plastic cock, taking a moment to admire his mess on his satin sheets. “S-Shit…ohhh fuck,” he hisses as he shoves the toy into his ass. He barely gives himself a moment to adjust before he reaches for the remote to start the lowest thrusting pattern, desperate for the feeling of his hole getting stretched to its limits. Renjun lets out a low groan while the toy picks up speed. He clicks it up to the second level and jolts as the tip of the cock starts hitting his prostate. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh,” he groans, spilling more slick onto his sheets and sliding into his fourth orgasm, leaving his mind completely broken. He sets his fleshlight to its highest vibration and suction level, and shakes himself into another release.

If he had any ability to think critically he would be concerned for the amount of fluid leaking into his mattress, considering he’d completely forgotten to lay down the waterproof blankets he was so intent would save him a massive cleaning bill, especially since the cock in his ass causes another surge of slick to shoot from his hole. Nearing delirium, Renjun decides the dual stimulation still isn’t enough. He wants even more, he needs even more.

The smell of his slick and cum is intoxicating, leaving his brain just as fried as the underpaid alpha that nearly sprung a leak at his door earlier. He grabs the smaller dildo that he used to work his ass open at the start of his playtime, and gave it a slow lick from the balls to the tip. Tasting himself on the toy made his next orgasm even harder, sucking the head of the dildo like it was an actual alpha. Throating the cock to it’s hilt like Jae himself was fucking his throat. Renjun was officially in heat, too spent to think, and too horny to care. 

With the last bit of his reflexes he has left, he manages to switch the fuck machine to it’s highest setting, and prepares himself for the ride of his life. “Ohhhhh Shit! Oh Shit! Fuckkkkkk,” he stutters, forming the last coherent phrases he’ll be saying for a while. His head is absolutely pounding, reality is bending, and all he knows is fact are the loud moans he and Jen are churning out along with the surge of energy rushing through his ass and cock. “Ahh oh my god, oh my god,” he screams, ushering himself into otherworldly realms of pleasure.

His cock is being milked to extremes he didn’t know were possible, the pumping motions of the fleshlight sending streams of cum all over his balls and thighs from where the toy could no longer hold his load. He groans as the cock in his ass pounds into his prostate, sending him further into the orgasmic spiral he has no intention of leaving. He’s coming down from his tenth orgasm when he finally decided to give his dick a break, pulling the toy milking him for the last two hours off his cock and throwing it to the side, in the interest of laying face down ass up, fully submitting to the plastic cock he’s worshiping with every fiber of his being.

He can barely make any sounds other than small gurgles when he starts craving his own musk again, grabbing the fleshlight and sticking his tongue as deep as he can into the sopping wet hole, basking in the scent of his pleasure. He slurps up his essence as he feels his ass getting tighter, the dildo seemingly rutting rougher and rougher to break through his grip. He slides himself back even further on the toy, taking all eleven inches impossibly deep, crying out at the feeling of his stomach bulging from the cock mixing up his guts. Renjun is lost in the vortex of his heat, unable to do anything but scream in pleasure in between licking his fleshlight like it’s a real asshole, when he feels it.

His eyes go wide, his ass locks up around the plastic knot completely, the overwhelming pleasure forcing his body to mate with the cock rearranging him. The toy stops moving in and out, too suffocated by Renjuns slick walls to complete a full cycle of motion, instead sending deep thuds of pressure directly on his prostate. His eyes start rolling back as his body starts convulsing, unable to control his movements. His loud moans turn to deafening screams when a long stream of clear liquid shoots from his cock. He cries out in pleasure as he lets out endless gushes of liquid, soaking through whatever parts of his mattress weren’t already sticky with slick. His voice starts to taper off into quieter whines, soon after, Renjun’s vision goes black. 

Renjun wakes up thirty minutes later, slightly less attached to the toy. Its batteries must’ve died sometime between him squirting and passing out, but Renjun has little recollection of anything that occurred once his first heat spike hit. He hears the faint sound of his pornstars giving each other aftercare from what must’ve been a similarly intense scene in the background, figuring he should follow in Jen’s footsteps and have a bottle of water.

He rolls over in his nest, taking in the absolutely ruined state of his bed, along with the extremely satisfied feeling in his body. “Woah,” he thinks, “I gotta get Hyuck a Waffle House gift card or something.”

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

Samantha? Cause really curious about her in your au

send me mnmoms au asks pwease i need to talk about this au

samantha samantha my samantha <33 i could talk a LOT about samantha in my au. canonically, her main character trait is like... high intelligence, low wisdom, and thats about it. which usually is very sad, but for me specifically is great because it means i go crazystupid with her. i will try to be brief but HKFGDJHFJKD gonna preemptively assume this will have to go under a cut anyways tho, because i love to ramble !

as stated, samantha's main character traits in canon are like. ron's hot moron4moron wife, will fall for a nigerian prince scam, is very straightforward but kind. which is absolutely fantastic and i love her more than anything, but i needed more than that. so i made her god's favorite weirdgirl <3

samantha's class is a life domain cleric! i need to work out the exact details still (i think maybe something to do with samantha's jewelery since i always draw her with a very specific biiig golden necklace), but when she was transported to the forgotten realms, she was chosen by a low ranking goddess to receive her gifts of healing. i think she fits well to be the healer (though mercedes knows some low level bard heals as well), it fits her kindly therapist vibes. i did also, unfortunately, made her a "i could fix him (absolutely cannot)" girlie because you just gotta be honest. its so real for her. which i think also fits for a healer LMAO so shes the partys healer! you may be saying "hey, travis, arent clerics supposed to have high wisdom? didnt you say samantha is high intelligence, low wisdom?" and yes. they do. she is. this is a dungeons and daddies au. theyre not meant to be good at their jobs. in general, samantha is the optimist of the group - shes cheerful bordering on (and often crossing over into) full on ditzy, shes the 'people person' of the group so she is usually the one who is sent to sweet talk people along with mercedes, and shes just. everyones sunshine. shes level-headed, sweet, and a total doggirl. mercedes and morgan both call her "sammy" near exclusively, which i know could be heresy against the ronnie/sammy special nicknames headcanon, but i cannot help it. shes just a sammy to me.

shes also very very very convinced that she is the leader of their little group, but carol is convinced that she is the leader of their little group, and the two of them bicker about it constantly. theyre very in love but if samantha cant passively aggressively tell carol that actually, samantha was the one who got them out of the last kerfuffle no thanks to you, she will self-implode.

because of her therapist position, i wanted samantha to come off as a character that seems very put together, emotionally intelligent, and normal when you first meet her. however, as time goes on, you realize she is actually very silly and not... great... at emotions when it comes to herself. its kind of a fun opposite to her dear ronnie! plot-wise, shes on this roadtrip as a bonding exercise with her son, who she loves very dearly <3 they used to be extremely close, but ever since the death of her ex-husband, her and terry junior have struggled to see eye to eye. the main issue here is that she tends to go 'therapist mode' with her personal issues - she thinks she has to put terry's feelings first, so she only asks him how hes doing, how hes feeling, how can she help etc without ever showing her own feelings on the matter. in samantha's head, shes being a good mother by not putting her feelings onto her son. in terry junior's head, samantha is pretending that terry senior never existed in the first place. so samantha's character arc actually resembles darryl's in a lot of ways, where she has to learn to be emotionally vulnerable with her son!

i couLD SAY EVEN MORE THAN THAT BUT THIS IS ALREADY VERY LONG i have many sammy thoughts. shes my dear darling golden retriever girlfriend except actually i think she would be a chocolate lab because they are known for being friendly, affectionate, extremely playful-

[nerdyenby]

Purple time :D I’m watching Oli

The depression is simply no match for an oli mcc vod

Ain’t oli like… 29? That’s not old king *looks it up* 28!! Dude, chill /aff

This team hasn’t had a single call, iconic

Ah yes, young, spunky, and full of beans, that’s my streamer

Sniff and Oli interactions are all I’ve ever needed in life

Charles bringing Sniff drugs, as they should

Harvey is so chaotic oh my gosh

“I don’t think I’ve heard your voice before” this can only go well guys

I thought Sniff was gonna make an ace joke, but nah, they’re just self-deprecating

Sniff and Oli 😭😭😭

“Harvey, I really feel like you don’t love this family right now”

This team is not chill, Pete is chill, everyone else is on a backpack leash

Harvey is such a mess lmao

Rocket Spleef

“Meltdown doesn’t like me” “Ok well, have you tried talking to her nicely?” “… I’ll try that next time” I love them

“Now that I’m reflecting, maybe I’m the problem” Pete my beloved

The team synergy!!

“We all did great!!” “Yes, and I was also there as well” and then Sniff hyping up Oli <333

I love this team, they’re all just saying words, it’s great :D

“I’m not a fan” “I’m not a fan, I’m an entire conditioner” thank you TapL Harvey :))

Harvey sounding so genuine when he said he was proud of Sniff ended me

The absolute power of Pete’s “That was like the fastest round ever, where’d everyone go?”

Pete and Harvey’s shock(?) when Sniff gets faux-emotional over being listened to is so

Grid Runners

Sniff on its igl arc :D

They’re crushing it!!!

Even struggling they’re doing such a good job keeping morale up

They’re genuinely laughing it off so well I love them <3333

They killed uppies!!!!

Grid felt so short that time it’s not even fair

I love their energy so much, it’s everything

Battle Box

It’s not that old, the only time it was played was in mcc26 (i think, it could’ve been 25 tbh)

This map is so wild

They’re not doing amazing but I’m having a great time

The guilty silence when they found out Callum dced and then goodnaturedly boasting when they found out he died first

THAT WAS SO CLOSEEEE

Sands of Time

Sniff and Oli going back and forth offering sandkeeper to each other can be something so dear

“Don’t be wrong again, okay?” “Okay 😭”

Oh that was a bit rough

“The captains aren’t captaining right now” Sniff 😭😭😭

WHO is honk mimimi-ing in my mcc?? /lh

THATS SO SCUFFED OH MY LORD ;-; /nm

“I’m a hard working sand gatherer and the billionaires up just taking time away, I’m sick of this!!” “Well personally — as the ceo of sand — I feel like you should’ve known that and should’ve just tried harder” this team’s chemistry is so!!!!

Ace Race

I love this team so much you guys ;-;

The music is so loud oh my gosh

The amongus remix 😭😭😭

“If you wanna blame the map, you’re gonna have to go through me” so true Pete!!

“What would be the funniest ending?” Harvey asking the right questions!!

“Toad in the hole in the wall” made me legitimately cackle

Parkour Warrior

“That’s how you get a UTI and then you can get a kidney infection and then you can get sepsis and then you can die” “AHH!!” “Yeah, that could happen” “But if I get top three in parkour warrior, like, does it matter?” they’re everything to me

“Oh I hope I don’t throw” “You won’t” “Well, I might. You don’t know me, you don’t know what I could do. I could throw really easily, actually, I’ll do it right now” “I do know you” *romantic music starts playing* THEM!!

I quite enjoy that they’re just chilling in vc together

WHY ARE PETE AND HARVEY BRITISH 😭😭😭

“I love pressing space bar” “Space bar is one of my favorite bars” “That’s right, you know what else is a nice bar? M&M” ah yes, thanks harvey

Who let these iTMG stand into MCC?? /j

I’m shocked we’ve made it this far without any gay jokes, we were overdue, truly

Clown to clown communication fr /aff

Y’all I started stimming so hard when oli first tried the medium ending it’s not even funny

THEY KILLED IT!!!!

HOLY PURPLE!!!!!!

Everyone hyping Oli up :))

Hole in the Wall

Oh they thought it was still food mode 😭

Sniff needing out over the fog effect with glass while Oli makes jokes about loving men my beloved

Oli calling Sapnap an absolute cringelord before deleting his message is so real

They’re popping off!!

Oli is absolutely carrying these comms

Their comms are so polite, I love this team so much, they’re so calm in between all the chaos

OH MY GOSH THAT CLUTCH

Skybattle

“I have fourandahalfhoursofsleep” “No you don’t. I’m actually- just so you know, I’m about to gaslight you: you have eight hours of sleep” “Ah, I feel so great now!!” This team is pure crack

Sniff is MrBeast and is gonna give Harvey Twitter memberships to use as currency to buy sleep, mhm

Can’t believe oli hates women smh /j

I’m losing my mind /pos

That was an absolute blur, I have no idea what just happened

Oli is an Aimsey supporter, as he should!!!!

Dodgebolt

Oli and Harvey making so many sounds that Pete thought he was lagging 😂

Harvey cheering on Scar is everything I didn’t know I needed

Sniff clowning Harvey for only just now realizing red is fnaf my beloved

WE TALK ABOUT SEXISM IN THE COMMUNITY!! Sniff saying it and the men loudly agreeing that “it needs to be said”

I was so hyped for this team’s chaos and they did not disappoint, great times great vibes :))

[teenwerewoofs]

fell down the bookbinding/ficbinding rabbit hole two weeks ago, told myself to not just go all-in right off the bat (especially because i have a lot going on right now + the rest of this year!!), bought a kit to test out the process before fully committing, and i now have two large orders of materials arriving next week and have finished typesetting two fics and am about to start my third 😐

[jade-parcels]

🌵 Revisiting my cowboy/southern au 🏜 pt.1

🌵 (Essentially this is just a self indulgent old west au thing idk what to tell you. It’s background info on my previous horny cowboy Diluc posts 0-0) 🏜‼️Death mentions, blood mentions, gun mentions, general criminal behavior

•Sheriffs office chain of command: Sheriff, Undersheriff, Chief Deputy, deputy/officer

•Old schoolhouses were not separated by grade, all kids were taught together in the same room

Crepus: he’s dead but I gotta talk about him for a sec lmao so he used to be the sheriff. Very respected guy, loved his family. Lost his wife when Diluc was four, he took Kaeya in 2 years later after a massive fire took out the poor kiddo’s whole family. Crepus raised the boys well, taught them to respect their elders, be kind, noble, strong, polite and crafty. He taught them to build things with their own 2 hands, taught them to ride horses, shoot guns, tame dogs, fix pipes, everything a “Real Man” needs to know. The boys both followed in his footsteps, enlisting to the sheriffs office as errand boys when they were 12, working their way up the chain of command as the heads passed. By the time they were 19, they were officers. Crepus was killed by a robber, shot right through the chest in front of his sons, he sputtered and wheezed and then was gone. He was buried in the far northeast corner of the ranch where his own parents, wife and sister-in-law were buried.

Diluc: took over his pa’s ranch when he passed away, as the oldest all of it was left to him much to Kaeyas frustration. The two had a falling out over the property which led to them beating the everloving shit out of each other. Diluc kicked Kaeya off the ranch and resigned from the sheriffs office. Now he’s his own man who protects his own property. He’s built a shed, a barn and an addition to the house he grew up in. He plans on having a family one day and needed more space to make that dream a reality. He bought out the run down, water damaged tavern that no one could fix up and used his wealth and strength to fix it up himself. It took a full year of renovation and hard labor to get that place looking (and smelling) good enough to re-open. Now it’s the talk of the town and the local hub for all activity. Everyone’s there at least twice a week for some grub, entertainment and a drink. Diluc is well respected because of his father and his own status in general but he doesn’t respect the sheriffs office. He used to but since they never caught the bastard that killed his father, he can’t stand them. At night, he dawns a black mask and all black clothes and goes out on the town to catch criminals while the local deputies are slacking off. He ties them up and dumps them on the front steps of the sheriffs office with letters telling them they’re incompetent or too slow. Now that Diluc is rapidly approaching 30 and all the hard labor he’s done in his life is catching up with him, his vigilante duties are becoming harder for him cause dear god his back hurts x_x (I know 30 isn’t old but it wasn’t uncommon for people to be ‘worn out’ by their early 30s from physical labor in the old west!!)

Kaeya: Kaeya is currently second in command, undersheriff, to Jean. He never really tried to climb the ranks or anything like that, he just did his job and ended up at the top. He’s a trusted fella, real good at training newbies because he’s patient and skilled. Kaeya is loved by all the local old folks, he stops mid-patrol to chit chat with them and tell stories about chases or criminal captures that might be just a little exaggerated for the sake of entertainment ;) he loves going to the saloon to drink and hang out with the ladies. Though he also uses his saloon time to try and talk to Diluc. Admittedly, he misses his brother. If he has to drink himself into a coma in order to spend time with his brother, he’d do it- not that he’ll admit it. He misses how they used to crack jokes and ride their horse side by side and everyone would say ‘look at those Ragnvindr boys, they’re so reliable’. He currently lives in a small house next door to Albedo and Klee while saving up his money to skip town. He dreams of waking up one morning, turning in his badge, and hopping a train to the east coast to live in the city. (Kaeya could never go through with it, he cares too deeply for his brother and his dear friends, he could never leave them all behind… but the silly dream he has keeps him going, keeps him working in a profession he isn’t very passionate about in a town that he feels disconnected from). Kaeya has a lot of little things he enjoys, he likes to sing with Venti at the saloon, he likes to go shoot cans with his coworkers, he likes to bet on bull riders, he likes dancing, and he enjoys blowing smoke rings up into the air while laying in the grass. He likes pestering Ajax too, he’s a funny fella.

Childe: local rapscallion, always causing trouble at the tavern or riding wild bulls to win bets for quick cash. Lives in his family home with his parents and four siblings, two have moved out and have families of their own now. Takes great care of everyone. Walks his younger siblings to school every day and picks them once school lets out. Always sunburnt cause he never wears his damn hat >:( he’s kinda gotten in with a local group of criminals, they all work under the cloak of night, sneaking into elderly peoples homes to steal their valuables while they sleep. They commit various other crimes but this is one they’ve yet to be caught doing so it’s been easy to get away with it. He and his buddies take turns going 2 cities over to sell their loot and bring back the cash to split. He tells his family that he’s a salesman, he sells wooden products. Wooden toys, wooden stools, benches, wheels you name if he does it. It’s an intricately woven lie. Ajax can’t build shit!! Somehow word got to Kaeya that Ajax sells wooden goods so he’s asked for a rocking chair about ten times. Every time he sees the ginger, he’ll yell a little “Hey~ Where’s my rockin chair at? Still haven’t got it yet!” Ajax can’t avoid him much longer… he knows he looks suspicious “You’ll get it when I’m done with it pretty boy! Real art takes time!”

Jean: Jean’s the reliable town sheriff. Any time she’s needed, she’s there, it doesn’t matter what time it is or who needs help. She was there when the school house kids needed help putting up a flagpole, she was there to catch a bandit who was wanted in four towns nearby, she helped coral a herd of sheep when they broke out of old man Laurence’s fence, she was there to comfort the Ragnvindr brothers the night Crepus was shot. She’s always around and for that, she’s well respected. She taught her sister Barbara to read, she tends to her garden and gives away her fruits/veggies to families who need them, she helps local farmers when their cows or horses are sick. She ain’t afraid to her her hands dirty. Jean doesn’t drink though. Her parents did all the time so she refuses to drink while her sister is relying on her. However, she does go to the tavern to unwind with her coworkers and chat with the locals.

Lisa: Lisa is the local teacher for the kiddos :) the local schoolhouse was sponsored by Crepus and his old cop buddies way back when it was first built. Now it’s a bit rundown but it does the trick. Miss Lisa’s class has 17 children ranging from 7-15 years old. They all share a classroom and learn to read, write and do math together. She is very patient and kind, she always listens to the stories the kids tell her. She isn’t afraid to indulge in their imagination, sometimes a school day will just be pretending to be flightless dragons or fairies who turn sheep different colors. Many kids would be absent, only about 6 showing up on any given day since kids have to help out at their families ranch or family owned shop in town. But when they could come to school, it was always enjoyable. Miss Lisa lives next to the schoolhouse, her own home is quiet small but she likes it. She spends a majority of her time outside anyways. She’s always tending to her chickens, rearranging the rocks in her front yard, reading a book in the sun, sweeping her front porch. She loves the sounds of nature and the warm breeze on her face. Her weekends are full of lazing around and visiting the tavern to see her friends. She isn’t a drinker but she enjoys the music and atmosphere. Additionally, she collects books. Their town doesn’t have a library but Miss Lisa’s house is the closest they’ll get. People stop by to ask if she has a certain cook book, storybook or old literature they can borrow. She’s happy to lend her books out but if they’re not returned, she’ll find that persons house and refuse to leave until the book is returned! It isn’t easy getting these books! They’re brought in by merchants from other cities or even countries! She values the stories within those pages so return them!!!

[uramichi-s]

i recently started reading the uranii manga and i'm in love with uramichi!! i need someone to talk about it so i wanted to ask what do you like most about him?

Dear anon, the real question is what I don't like about him heh, but since you are giving me this chance to babble about him I'll take full advantage of it and answer you thoroughly.

---

1. We both work(ed) with kids

Working with children must be one of the most satisfying but taxing jobs in the world. The amount of energy -physical and emotional- you need to keep up with them and their antics is huge and since they are usually pretty sharp you also need to constantly check yourself and not let it slip when you are feeling down (not that Uramichi particularly cares about that tho, lmao).

I really like seeing him interact with them and that he genuinely cares and enjoys being with them (even when he's not feeling his best).

I love that he's always sincerely moved when the kids thank him for his hard work or tell him that they had fun during the show (when you work with children you usually get little to no appreciation from other people so I know how important those words can be).

I also find it hilarious that every time he's feeling down he just sits on the floor like this and the kids imitate him while they listen to his complaints lmao:

2. We both deal with anxiety in our daily lives

This one doesn't really need much explanation, but I do want to point out that seeing him try to push forward despite his anxiety and depression was (and still is) incredibly hopeful for me.

3. He's a kind person (even if he himself doesn't think so)

There are so many scenes in the manga where we can see this but one of my favorites is one from his college days where Usahara hurt himself while training and Uramichi was the only one who noticed it in their dorm, checked his injury and told him to go to the doctor.

Other than this, he's always patient with Iketeru sometimes I think Uramichi sees him as another kid or something lol and he always listens to Utano when she needs someone to talk to.

He may not be aware of it -or he may have a hard time accepting it- but I think he's pretty important to his coworkers and that he's rather well-liked by everyone.

4. Lastly, I can't help but root for him

This one too is pretty self-explanatory. I've been where he is (I still am) so I just want him be happy, he definitely deserves it.

---

To finish, here’s one of my favorite panels (I really wanted to post it hehe):

(Give my man some paid vacations, dammit).

Thanks a lot for the ask! ❤️✨

[south-park-meta]

Honestly Stan could have been way worse. He accidentally got his sister and his mom killed with Randy. And has to life from ten to 18 with his lunatic idiotic narcissistic mentally unstable father, who was likely guilt tripping him the whole time for killling his family. Of course he is going to end up messed up. It's a miracle he hasn't killed himself.

Atleast he has a house and somewhat a "job". He is still a mess. But I didn't expect more with that backstory honestly.

But now that they are probably going back in time to stop things from happening. Shelly and Sharon will most likely survive aswell. So Stan's future isn't canon yet.

So How do you think Stan would turn out in the future if Sharon and Shelly survive? If Sharon got a divorce from Randy and Stan would live with his mother and sister?

Yeah I have no problem at all with how Stan's depicted in the special. Personally I'm headcanoning him as getting put in juvenile prison for what happened with Shelly, and I DO think that's what would have physically stopped him from killing himself in the immediate aftermath of it. But even before the tragic backstory I was actually thinking he was going to be a huge loser just for a plot point. He's doing better than I thought he would in this special BEFORE it dropped he accidentally led to his mom and sister dying. I did figure the point would be that the 4 (and especially Stan and Kyle) need each other, though, so I was allowing for a lot of loser-ism to justify that.

I think he's an asshole but still wants to help, and I think he was shown to still be perfectly intelligent and capable despite being in a bad mental spot. Tbh I don't even see his job as a 'job' in quotes-- it seems like something that actually pays the bills, and with him whipping out the card and being seen as a 'doctor' (that part I WILL put in quotes though lmao) that it's actually pretty well-respected in the show's universe. In an RP I'm doing with @dear-wormwoods I basically described it as consulting on whiskey mostly in a how-to-make-alcohol-companies-maximize-profit capacity with an occasional expert statement when it comes to alcohol-related deaths to explain why he even thought it would so OBVIOUSLY work to get him in the morgue.

It's clearly meant as a means to justify his alcoholism, but I think the actual job is--strangely enough-- perfectly legit. I really expected him to be struggling more on that front.

ANYWAY sorry for that tangent. With all that said I don't see it as anything he does if his mom and dad divorce and he lives with Sharon. In my ideal Stan life he does some manual labor when he's young, then gets into STEM. I think he'd still take a pretty nontraditional path, starting college, then getting sick of it, feeling directionless, and dropping out to take up nonprofit work. I also tend to see him as healthier and sober. Personally I'm pretty optimistic for him most of the time because he does seem to try very hard to set himself up for success; the main thing is I think he will ALWAYS struggle with sharing his feelings with people before they get to a point that friends and family can't really help him with it. I think he'll regularly self-isolate, but I do think it will become less severe the older he gets. My full future job headcanons for the boys is here .

[crispyjenkins]

fic with ahsoka as Obi-Wans Padawan? Maybe some angsty jangobi? (Used to be together but broke up and now they pine from afar™️)

(i’m devastated that i don’t get to write ahsoka much, especially as obi’s padawan, so that an anon would come into my inbox.... and request jangobi on top of it..... seriously, though, thank you! can’t say i wasn’t inspired by @autumnchild22’s Kenobi Tano AU, but this doesn’t share almost anything with their take of events (ノ*´◡`) i’m flattered y’all thought i could do something of theirs justice lmao

i have written entirely too much backstory for this one, i think my brainstorming ended up longer than the actual fic so like. rip. 

support artists and writers by reblogging, message me for more info if this confuses you!)

  It surprises everyone except Obi-Wan that not only does Jango join the clones on the front lines, but he does so as the ARC troopers’ medic. That the son of the Mand’alor murdered by the Jedi would allow his kid to be apprenticed by a lifetime Council member is already hard enough for the galaxy at large to swallow; believing that the man who had at once been the most feared bounty hunter in the Outer Rim wouldn’t even ask for a command position? Impossible.

  Obi-Wan knows better. Just as Obi-Wan had picked up Soresu because he could not protect his master on Naboo, Jango had learned to put people back together because he could not save his buir on Korda 6. 

  Besides, Obi-Wan thinks Mace is a wonderful match for little Boba, even though he’s joining the Jedi older than even Anakin had been. Knowing Mace was among the Jedi to liberate the spice freighter Jango had been sold to, and that he had continued to check in on Jango for years after he got his armor back, Obi-Wan actually finds it rather silly that others on the Council had thought Jango would trust Boba to anyone else. 

  Which does leave Obi-Wan in quite the predicament, when less than a year after Anakin's knighting, Mace sends him a new padawan in the middle of a campaign. 

  Ahsoka smiles with all canines, and calls Anakin Skyguy, and has to be tricked into wearing more armor because, according to Cody, she is "not to take the General's lack of self-preservation as the status quo, nor as the basis for field safety." Which, rude, Obi-Wan wears plenty of armor when the situation calls for it; he simply doesn't find many situations where plasteel has kept his men or the Jedi from dying horribly.

  Letting Ahsoka gallivant around a battlefield in a tube-top without even a cloak, however, is out of the question, and Obi-Wan thinks Waxer does a brilliant job in sizing down the armor to fit their collective padawan over the next few months. Force, had Anakin really been younger than she when he first started taking him on missions?

  "Master?"

  Obi-Wan blinks, and smiles down at Ahsoka standing next to him, his apprentice looking quite dashing in the orange paint of the 212th. "Sorry, my dear, what were you saying?"

  She shrugs, eyeing him suspiciously. "'Was just asking if we would be working with the ARC troopers on Kiros; Captain Fordo said he would show me how to use a blaster rifle next time they were on the Negotiator."

  The Kaminoans intended for a few ARC troopers to be sent with each battalion, but it had quickly become clear that Jango had not trained them that way. Instead, he had raised and created a strike team so efficient, it would have been a waste to separate them; Obi-Wan knows Jango had hand-picked them from cadets, had searched for a spark in them that the Kaminoans hadn't already snuffed out completely. Jango had been like that once, too.

  "I would be surprised if we didn't," Obi-Wan decides on, turning back to observe the 212th loading into the Negotiator, and he would be, because the ARCs are often deployed with Obi-Wan’s men, have been since the Battle of Kamino. "But I have not heard anything from Master Shaak Ti, nor Captain Fordo as of yet."

  Ahsoka scrunches up her face into a pout, an amusing show of her age that she usually does not allow. "We'll probably get halfway through the mission and they'll just show up."

  Obi-Wan chuckles. “Hm, yes, probably,” he agrees, starting to make his way down to the hangar to join his men with Ahsoka trotting along behind, “but perhaps I can convince Captain Fordo not to surprise us too badly this time.”

-

  When the ARC troopers finally storm the Kadavo Processing Facility with Anakin and the Jedi on their heels, the warden Agruss is already dead.

  The sudden swell of Jedi presence is nearly blinding after a month of helplessness, but Obi-Wan can't tap out, not yet. Rex, satisfied and vindictive and relieved, sways dangerously and automatically reaches out to Obi-Wan to steady himself. 

  That Rex trusts him enough to not even think about rank before asking for help warms Obi-Wan in ways he doesn't yet have the words for — he wraps Rex's arm around his shoulders and takes half his weight happily.

  "Thank you," Obi-Wan finds himself murmuring as he helps Rex towards the doors, and only smiles at the captain's bemused expression. 

  "Whatever for, General?" he asks, even as he looks back over their shoulders across the room, to Agruss impaled to his chair with the electrostaff still sparking. Then he returns Obi-Wan’s smile, shaking his head. "That's not very Jedi-like of you, sir."

  "I'm afraid I haven't felt much a Jedi since Kiros, my dear." Which is perhaps too honest to allow himself before he's had a proper meal and a full night's rest, but if there is anyone who will understand, it is the man that lived it with him. "We could wait up here for Anakin to find us, but it will likely be a while before they can spare him to start looking; do you think you can keep your feet long enough for us to reach the ground floor?"

  Rex snorts and gives a vague wave of his free hand towards the elevators. "Well, I'm certainly not going to wait up here like some damsel, sir, and General Skywalker would kill me if I let you wander around on your own."

  "Well!" Obi-Wan laughs, for the first time in weeks, and hitches Rex up to get a better grip on his waist. "In that case, we really should not keep him waiting."

  They somehow time it perfectly for what the 187th and the 501st to have just finished rounding up the slavers in the courtyard when he and Rex hobble out of a side door of the warden's tower. Lieutenant Law oversees the Togrutas' move to Mace’s flagship Solace, and Obi-Wan easily picks him and Boba out from the crowd, standing at the base of the loading ramp and speaking with the Kiros colony's governor. Anakin is nowhere to be seen, but Obi-Wan doesn't get the chance to keep looking before Kix spots them from his place by the medical frigate; a shout passes over the nearby clones like a wave, until Kix and an ARC trooper break away to (gently) manhandle both him and Rex to the frigate. 

  The 187th's medic, Oro, is already on board seeing to the Togrutas too injured to wait for triage on the Solace, snapping a distracted salute that Obi-Wan quickly waves off as he helps heft Rex onto a hoverbed. He fully intends to duck back out and check in with Mace, though things seem well in hand without him, but the ARC with Kix takes off his helmet and glares, until Obi-Wan meekly shuffles to the next hoverbed over.

  He could never refuse Jango, after all. 

  "You repainted your armor," he says conversationally, as Jango pulls a scanner from the bandoleer around his chest and has Obi-Wan roll up his right sleeve. 

  "'Lost the last set to a sarlacc before our deployment to Kiros," Jango snorts, Concord Dawn accent stronger than any of his clones. "Though it looks like your mission had its fair share of excitement." Running the scanner over the electrical burns on Obi-Wan’s arm, Jango raises an eyebrow at the dried blood on the shoulder of his tunics; Obi-Wan honestly doesn't remember if it's his or not.

  And he can only smile at Jango, because even with a decade and a war between them, the corner of Jango's mouth still twitches when he's stressed. "Well, it certainly wasn't boring, my dear," Obi-Wan says, opening the neck of his tunic enough for Jango to stick him with a hypospray that hopefully won't make him too high. "And I can't say I'm looking forward to what is surely going to be a long dip in the bacta tank."

  He gets a laugh for that, and can't think of the last time they had done more than make eye contact from opposite sides of a ship. Perhaps it had been Kamino, when Taun We had first sent for the Jedi to meet the army created for them. 

  Obi-Wan had rather thought Jango dead until then, when he had disappeared from the galaxy abruptly as if he had never lived in it at all. For a time, Obi-Wan believed he had just gotten cold feet, that finally meeting Anakin made it all a little too personal too quickly, but then even Mace could not get a hold of him and no one had seen a Mandalorian bounty hunter in months.

  Their... conversation, Jango's stilted explanations of his absence and of how little he actually knew about the purpose for the clones he helped create, left far too much unsaid, but then Obi-Wan had been sent to Geonosis and, well. It's been nearly two years now, and Obi-Wan isn't sure if he's even seen Jango without his helmet since then. 

  His eyes flick over Obi-Wan’s face, the left side of his lips twitching as if knowing exactly what Obi-Wan is thinking — and he might not put it past him. 

  "Where are Anakin and Ahsoka?" Obi-Wan hears himself ask, when the silence grows heavy with those unsaid words. And he really would like to check in with his padawan, he can't imagine her last month has been a picnic either.

  Jango sticks him with another stim before answering, "Mace sent Skywalker to make sure no slave is missed, and no slaver isn't arrested. As for your new foundling..." That little smile comes back, as Jango nods out the back of the frigate to where someone is cutting a line through the clones guarding their new prisoners. 

  "Oh dear," Obi-Wan mumbles, barely having time to brace himself before Ahsoka is launching herself at him, and all he can think is how relieved he is to see her out of her slave disguise. Jango steps cleanly out of the way to let Ahsoka smother herself in Obi-Wan’s chest, though it doesn’t stop him from starting to prep bacta patches to tide him over until they can get to the Negotiator’s medbay.

  “Hello, little one,” Obi-Wan murmurs, carefully loosening the tight net of his shields for the first time since Zygerria and letting Ahsoka’s presence flood his mind. 

  “It’s good to see you, Master ‘Nobi,” she says into his tunics, and her voice does not waver at all.

  He manages a chuckle, though it does not hold nearly as well as Ahsoka’s, as he feels himself finally relax. Anakin, of course, senses the both of them immediately and prods at their minds, but neither Obi-Wan nor his padawan acknowledge him. “I take it the Queen is dead?”

  Ahsoka sighs and pulls back enough to nod. “Count Dooku was there, Skyguy barely got us all out.”

  “That was a week ago,” Jango adds, not looking up from the datapad he’s logging Obi-Wan’s injuries into. “Even with the Queen giving us the location of the Processing Facility, we had to wait for the 187th to catch up.”

  Running his palm from the top of her head down her hind lek, Ahsoka melts back against him with a Togruta churr he rarely has the pleasure of hearing from her. “Hm, and I imagine Boba was thrilled to work with the ARC troopers.”

  Jango snorts, because they both know Boba is thirteen and his rebellious stage where he wants nothing to do with his father for fear of losing his independence. “Originally, the 104th was the closest battalion, but were held up in their own campaign. ‘Honestly didn’t think we could keep Skywalker from rushing in anyways.”

  And Obi-Wan has to wince at that, because no matter what he does, he can’t seem to find a way to teach Anakin about attachment in words he understands; truthfully, Obi-Wan wouldn’t have had him knighted until he had at least attempted to master that part of his mind, but, well, the War had different opinions.

  “I’m actually just surprised he didn’t try to fight Dooku,” Ahsoka admits, finally releasing Obi-Wan only to hop up on the hoverbed next to him. Jango immediately pulls Obi-Wan’s bare arm back to himself to start slapping the bacta patches over the worst of his burns. “Master Windu had a talk with him, though, I think it was good for him.”

  “I’d like to see that!” Jango barks, only half sarcastically: he knows better than most, the sorts of things Mace Windu can talk someone out of, and if it worked for one ex-slave, why shouldn’t it work on another?

  Ah, perhaps that shared history should not have slipped Obi-Wan’s mind, not here with thousands of freed slaves needing aid for injuries Jango is intimately familiar with.

  “And are you alright?” he asks before he can talk himself out of it, as Jango is cutting his sleeve further back. His brow ticks back up, clearly bewildered by what Obi-Wan could be referring to, but it’s Ahsoka that leans around Obi-Wan to sniff triumphantly up at Jango.

  “I told you he still likes you,” she says, and Jango’s hand freezes on Obi-Wan’s wrist.

  Obi-Wan sighs. “Ahsoka.”

  But instead of denying that he might have actually had such a conversation with Obi-Wan’s padawan, Jango coughs on a laugh. “So you did, edee. To be fair, I did not think that was the issue.”

  Ahsoka rolls her eyes, leaning back into Obi-Wan’s side as he automatically raises his arm to accommodate her. “He thinks he lost his chance, Master ‘Nobi,” she tells him. “Even Cody thinks he’s full of banthashit.”

  Where Obi-Wan feels a little shell-shocked by the turn in conversation, Jango simply keeps that tiny smile — even if it looks bittersweet and self-deprecating now. “Your foundling has spent the last week talking me in circles about this, I almost think she’s as stubborn as you.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment, I think,” Obi-Wan returns, sarcasm an automatic, subconscious response. 

  “I wouldn’t need to talk you in circles if you two just talked to each other.”

  Shaking his head in bemusement, Obi-Wan gently fixes Ahsoka’s slika beads to lay properly around her montrals. “I’m afraid there’s quite a lot of history there, little one; most of which I’m sure Jango did not actually share with you.”

  She wrinkles her nose. “No, he refuses to tell me anything except that you met on a mission. And that he saved your ass from Jabba the Hutt.”

  Obi-Wan snaps his eyes to Jango, who looks absolutely anywhere but at him. “Is that how you remember it going, my dear?”

  “Could we do this later?”

  “Because if I recall correctly, and I do, this is not the first time you’ve lost your armor to a sarlacc.”

  Jango looks to the ceiling for patience. 

-

Mando'a: buir — “parent”, gender neutral  Mand’alor — “Sole ruler”, contended ruler of Mandalore. edee — “teeth”, “jaws”, used here as an affectionate name for Ahsoka. because she teeth.

[miistymemorii]

How compatible are Pedro Pascal character’s and I?

No one, and I mean NO ONE asked for this. But here we are :) 

warning: literal proof of how lonely i am ahead

Javier Pena

- I think he would find me very annoying

I can’t, like, sit still??? so I do the “jiggling of leg thing” 24/7 and I feel like he would hate that

- but i feel like all we’d do is have *seggs* so i guess points for that

- also i am very clingy and I don’t see him as the type to want to cuddle 

- i am literally so annoying in public because i don’t know how to act and i’m sure i’d annoying him like if we ever went in public

- i love criminology and jobs that deal with crime so i’d be a nosy bitch and ask him wayyyy to many questions about his job

- rating: 4/10

Maxwell Lord

- istg

- not to be a simp on main, but i would be Max’s biggest suporter, like full hype girl

- ^^ i mean, not during the events of 1984, because that was some bs, but like before, when he’s a struggling man who just wants to be a good father

- i hate wearing dresses with a burning passion, but i’d wear a dress like everyday if it made him happy

- yes i do the cooking, yes i do the cleaning

- i feel lie Max needs a woman in his life, or at least someone to give him guidance. I’m the gal for the job.

- i feel like he would cry sometimes like in the middle of the night and i’d be there to comfort him

- but also he’d comfort me when i have panic attacks or depressive episodes

- like i know this man is soft when he’s not doing his “life is good but it could be better” persona

- my dad would hate him tho 0-0 so a loss of points there

- rating: 7/10

Ezra

- cheese and sprinkles okay

- this man

- i feel like we’d be good together

- in most fics Ezra is headcanonned as being very interested in the arts, so i can see us like going to museums and reading to each other

- idk why i just wanna hold his hand

- i feel like he’d let me be the big spoon which makes my heart go boom boom

- he is so fine istg imma cry

- also i feel like my dad would like him and that’s kinda important to me bwahwajdsd

- rating: 8/10

Mando

- okay, to me there are basically 2 tiers of Mando: before Grogu, after Grogu

- if i met him before Grogu, he would hate me. 

- i would ask him loads of questions about the ship and eventually he’d be like “this isn’t gonna work” and drop me off on a planet then leave bwahwahah

- it’d be very “it’s not me, it’s you” :,)

- but if i met him during/ after Grogu

- *sighs*

- i feel like he’d be more willing to a relationship because he kinda learns that not every person is a threat

- i think he’d let me touch his face in the dark, even if he has shows his face to other people, because he’s still wary

- but when he finally lets me see his face in the light, i swear to god i would just spend hours staring at his face

- he’s baby there’s not alot more i can say

-my dad would adore him because irl he LOVES the Mandalorian and my dad loves cowboys and Mando is the best space cowboy in the galaxy

- 7/10

Frankie “catfish” Morales

- okay ya’ll

- i’ve only ever dated, like, assholes so It’d be so nice to date someone who is a nice person

- i KNOW he’s treat me right

- I feel like I would be super intimidated by him, because I get super intimidated by nice people (trust issues gang gang), so I wouldn’t be like my annoying self

- like he’d bring out the shy in me

- but also this man would never judge me and that makes me :)

- i’m not the most outdoorsy person, but i feel like i’d love going camping or hiking with him

- hell i’d let this man take me fishing (though he’d have to teach me because idk how to fish)

- also i feel like we’d do domestic things like go grocery shopping together, dance together in our livingroom, and cook diner together

- rating: 9/10

Pero Tovar

- this mf

- sorry, that was aggressive

- this man

- he would hate me

- like he would HATE me

- i can’t quite place it, it’s more of an instinct that i have? first of all, i would die at like, age 8 if i was alive during the time the movie takes place

- but like i think he’d be like “this bitch” everytime i walked into a room

- i am an annoying mf and he seems like he has 0 patience for idiocracy.

- i have literally nothing else to say bwahaha... it just wouldn’t happen

- rating: 0/10

Agent Whiskey

- okay, im from texas, but the city im from is small and all the boys here have  southern accents, but they’re all so fucking annoying so for a long time i’ve been turned off by those accents

- but dear god when i watched this film for the first time i was like AOOGA

- if i dated him, i would literally ask him questions or make him like read to me just to hear his voice

- is voice kink a thing 0-0 

- i wouldn’t ask him super personal questions about his job, but i’ve always wondered the kind of missions the Statesmen (and Kingsmen) go on, so i’d ask him about that

- i feel like my family would be charmed by him, so points for that

- i am a shitty dancer and i feel like he’d want to teach me to properly slow dance or do that southern dance? (dosie do? my family rejects southern culture because we hate living here lmao)

- he looks like he can cook which makes me :)))))) because i’m not a good cook

- i feel like he’s super adventurous in bed and tbh i am... inexperienced so i think that would be 0-0 awkward at first

- rating: 8/10

Oberyn Martell

- as much as i love this man, i have been in a poly relationship before and it was a living hell, so his lil orgies would make me 0-0 uncomfy 0-0

- i feel like he’s super poetic sometimes, like he likes art and literature

- tbh i skipped through the entirety of GoT and only watched Pedro’s episodes, so i know nothing about that world or time period lmao

- i’m a jealous bitch sometimes so i KNOW i’d be jealous of Ellaria

- omfg the way he LOOKS at people, I’d be a meek bitch

- my dad would hate this mf istg i cannot really describe it he just would i know it

- my dad just kinda hates all politicians/royalty/rich people teehee

- he’s definitely a good kisser tho 0-0 

- i feel like behind closed doors he’s surprisingly soft? like he would just ant to cuddle sometimes and talk about anything and everything

- he’s also a charmer so i feel like he’d try to convince me that i’m beautiful and just be overall kind to me when i’m feeling insecure

-rating: 6/10

Marcus Moreno

- bye ya’ll im deceased

- he was literally in the film for like 5 mins total and yet i have *fallen in love*

- pedro in glasses makes me positively feral grr bark bark

- dashklfhsdlfj PLEASE don’t come for me but like... i feel like he’d be super into making out like for prolonged periods of time

- ANWAYS he seems like the closest in personality to Pedro? So like goofy, soft, BIG hands (jk they all have big hands and they all make me :))))))))))))

- he’d be really good at dates and want to do kinda silly stuff? like carnivals, movies, ice cream shop, the park, etc :)

- i think he would find out that i have a big phat crush on Lavagirl and would let me meet her I would simple cease to exist

- i would be so nervous to meet Missy because even though i love kids, i’m so awkward around them

- he seems like the type to give kisses in places other than my lips. Like he’d love to kiss my hands, my forehead and my cheek

- my stepmom would ADORE him

- also i feel like Marcus’ taste in music is very close to Pedro’s, and Pedro has *immaculate* taste, so my Dad would get on with Marcus because my dad lves music

9/10

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Had to make a list of each number you answered, but I believe these are the last few questions you didn't answer!!

7. What makes RPF okay/what doesn't if you disagree with it?

18. Was Paul capable of effectively leading the band?

24. How many hidden quibs do you think are on Ram?

Heyyy thanks!

7. So I can see an argument made that RPF is inherently invasive, HOWEVER, I think the moment you start speculating on a celebrity's life beyond what they've told you, you're lowkey engaging in RPF anyways. So unless we want to dismantle that entire mentality (which we probably won't) I don't see what's wrong with RPF because at least RPF makes no claim to being real and is thus "self-aware". I imagine Paul particularly doesn't love the idea of fanfic about him existing but in the end cares much more about biographers who sell themselves as truthful and also make real money off of it (see: his reactions to Nowhere Boy vs. Two Of Us)

18. In.. a way? I think he clearly did a good job of implementing his artistic vision with Sgt Pepper and despite the whole album being more what he wanted than what the other three wanted (or two, I'd say John's level of commitment to the idea isn't 100% clear) he harnessed their musical strengths very well; Literally what would A Day In The Life be without Ringo's drums? The perfect playing off each other of With A Little Help From My Friends? Integrating Within You Without You into the tracklist in a way that didn't disrupt the flow of the album etc.

That being said, George and Ringo clearly didn't enjoy the process very much because the production involved a lot of takes of individual instruments denigrating them to quasi-session musicians at times.

Obviously, after this, the band started falling apart and Paul clearly had a very hard time getting through to the others and listening to their concerns properly. What I wonder is how things might've gone if Brian hadn't passed and Paul had had the chance to continue leading only creatively. Probably the other three would've still gotten fed up, with good reason, but yeah I feel like a case can be made that in terms of working towards a musical project (when not having to worry about logistics like with Get Back), Paul was an effective leader. In terms of team building: hmmmm, not really lmao! But I wonder how he would've done if there weren't about ten other factors working against him at the time.

24. Honestly, good question. I do think Dear Boy is partially about John, in the sense that Paul probably saw parallels between Linda's ex-husband and John and they maybe even related to each other in that way. I do believe Too Many People is pretty chalk-full and probably mostly about John. 3 Legs is probably about the other three but honestly it's insane to me that they would've picked up wtf he's saying in that song it's so contradictory lmao. But for example, I don't tend to think Backseat Of My Car has any real hidden quibs tbh.

[kyushouryu]

TWST Ch4 last part Spoiler

Rambling time along with the plot~! I mean, I did this along when i am going through the plot.

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Read at your own risks~!

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Are you sure?

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Okay then.

Seafood trio literally robbed Jamil of his job lol. they are so efficient that i cant keep up. And swimming exercise... you guys are fishes! What a way to promote swimming to burn fat! excuse me for the translation but what is coral sea breeze soup? Soup cooked with sea water and coral and seasoned with sea breeze?

Jamil is so grumpy throughout the story XD

So Scarabia specialized in divination...

SO IT’S REALLY JAMIL OVERBLOT!!!???? Oh my! All the guessing on Jamil, he really do want to be the ‘Sultan’! Not only Scarabia, he probably even aimed to control NRC’s headmaster. Azul, your unique magic is too dangerous and your hobby is really ughhh.

Of course, everything is a trap from our dear tako-mer, it even came with high resolution live-streaming from his phone (rich bastard...gimme one) You’re one popular bastard too, 5k view for this “The Dark Truth of The Famous Magician Training School”. Boy knew how to get attention with titles.

Seafood trio sure are slippery.

Kalim found out.... Overblot due to betrayal is also possible now.... Nvm, Jamil overblotted, well, not yet. but in due time with how he brainwashed almost everyone. Guys, do you not learn from the past 3 overblotting bosses???? And what exactly is Yuu’s role in this shinenagen?

Jamil’s magic is truly powerful and very, very dangerous in terms of power. Also, Jaafar mode Jamil with snakes!!! This time, it’s the worst overblot situation that we ever had,since we have no adults or staff reinforcement since everyone went away for winter holidays.

Sorry, i laughed at the ‘shot us away from the palace’ scene XDDD 

only you, floyd, only you will exchange your magic with Azul and change your voice just because you’re bored of it. 

And Yuu/I am salty about getting flown in the air to the end of the desert, “Good friends don’t fly others out to the end of the desert.” is my choice. And I’m not a straight man, Grim. Eel brothers are real mafia, yes, i’m repeating this again.

I guess ‘Oasis Maker’ is a blessing to mers. Especially the low mana count ratio to big magic. Well, i expect too much from Azul..... He and his business brain, trust him to figure something to make money out of a seemingly useless ability. Yeah! Mer riding, let’s not make it a thing..... They probably charge an arm and a leg for the service if not for the emergency. It’s probably one of the rare moments u see eels swimming in a desert river.... not sand swimming.

Ahahaha, Jamil got so into the praises, he didn’t even recognise the ones he casted out.

The typical struggle of master and servant dynamic, especially one as smart as Jamil. It’s very frustrating to hide one true self like him, to pretend you’re stupider. Kalim is just an innocent flower bred in a well-condition greenhouse, while Jamil had to give up his desire in order to please his parents and in directly, Kalim’s parents. The freedom he sought, is to live for himself and not for others’ desires. Ahhh! They did good on the backstory, it proved 4 times that I cant hate any bosses in here!

Jamil really did has a vicious tongue on him aha! Azul’s hobby! It even has an offical name - Other People’s Weakness Collection! My lord XD The 4th black stone for Grim to eat.......How do you even chow it off??? And he’s getting all weird and possessed after the meal. 

Oh! Hi~! Ace and Deuce! They did got our SOS XD, but you’re too late for the last party XD Sorry for the trouble LMAO But thanks for trying to help us! I guess Yuu maybe? just maybe got a bit closer to Octaville Trio (If there’ a friendship meter, it’d be at least a quarter full)

The ghosts are so cute, they acted like worried older family members to Yuu and Grim, and even helped them with the fireplace faeries chores!

!!!!!!Lilia! He really is a bat now that i think of it.... he’d been hanging upside down since the 1st day. He gave us a card from M.D., a holiday greeting from Malleus! I can die happy.

Why did the chat with Mickey at night seems so creepy? Especially when Yuu replied to the question: Where are you?, Here is...... Twisted Wonderland.

It’s January after the winter holidays.... So how long had Yuu stayed since ch1? And hi, Epel! He looked like he escaped from Vil and Vil is getting very mad. Well, that for us to find out in the new chapter around end of June, i guess?

I still dunno what’s Yuu’s role in here? To find out and trigger the overblot? Or to make all these brilliant magicians work together? Dire, you have some explaining to do.

[lovelylogans]

what are your favorite episodes of gilmore girls?

ooOOOOOOH GREAT QUESTION i’ll break it down season by season:

season one

pilot. i mean, obviously. it sets them all up so well, character-wise; plus, you can tell some episodes in season one that were filmed shortly after the pilot vs a while later, just bc of emily’s differing hair lengths

the lorelai’s first day at chilton: introduces such great characters (paris, madeline, louise) and also is such a great way to continue the transition into learning about this world

rory’s birthday parties: god. just. the stark difference between emily and richard’s world vs stars hollow...... the found family of practically all of stars hollow showing up to rory’s home party...... “lorelai’s right. i don’t know my daughter at all.”...... God

forgiveness and stuff: like, gOD. a masterclass of acting especially from kelly bishop and lauren graham; it hits so differently after edward hermann’s actual passing. luke and lorelai’s relationship displayed on what he’d do for her. lord!

paris is burning: paris................ the Beginning of turning from enemies to friends...... plus, like, you get to see some of lorelai’s commitment issues, which plays out throughout the entire series (sometimes To My Great Aggravation)

concert interruptus: the bangles 🥺paris and rory 🥺

christopher returns: i mean. you see the dynamic between rory and christopher, lorelai and christopher, and emily, richard, and christopher, which just paints such a clearer picture of what lorelai’s life might have been like back then. PLUS, emily being soft toward rory; it’s one of my fave relationship moments for them, and i kind of regret taking that line from her and giving it to christopher in wyliwf.

star crossed lovers and other strangers: the same way we get to see emily and rory, we get to see richard and lorelai; also, you can see how lorelai’s commitment issues might have inadvertently affected rory in this. plus i love love LOVE the backstory of the stars hollow lovers festival, i wish they’d repeated it in later seasons!

emily in wonderland: i really wish you’d gotten to see the effect of learning about lorelai and rory living in the shed play out more than a one-episode arc, i really wish we did, but like. emily bishop, once again, acting her damn heart out. phenomenal.

season two

the road trip to harvard: you get to see the beginnings of how rory leaving for college might affect lorelai, plus you get to see rory in her ivy league habitat. luke getting so suddenly, “inexplicably” cheerful when he hears that lorelai’s not marrying max. and at the very ending emily being sympathetic to max. bless it.

nick & nora/sid & nancy: first jess ep. “dodger.” what else is there to say. points off lorelai tho for immediately losing it at jess when he snarks at her, when, like, that is your move, lorelai, you should recognize that?

presenting lorelai gilmore: rory stepping more and more into her grandparents’ world in a way lorelai never wanted to; though i don’t ship christopher and lorelai, their dance scene is adorable. plus, emily and richard fighting a bit and the beginnings of richards (seasons long!) arc about his journey with his work.

the ins and oust of inns: MIA. you get to see mia for the first time! lorelai and sookie having a fight is :( but you get to see lorelai’s turmoil over actually leaving the inn. emily coming to see mia! luke yelling at the town over them being rude about luke! lorelai coming to his defense! rory telling jess off and jess wordlessly fixing luke’s toaster in silent apology!

the bracebridge dinner: GOD. love it. the horses and carriages! the absurd historical acting! emily and richard! rory and jess! luke and lorelai! it’s fantastic!

a-tisket, a-tasket: I LOVE THIS EPISODE. some of the town absurdity that was just A Plus. “it’s not like she’s shipping off to ‘nam!” is a great line. jackson proposing to sookie! and poor lane........

there’s the rub: emily and lorelai, seeing how great they could get along, but seeing how either of them wreck it just when it’s getting a-okay. god. it’s just such a great microcosm of their relationship.

dead uncles and vegetables: luke......... Luke. lorelai and rory and jess all rallying around him in their ways, and stars hollow by extension. even tho they were pretty shitty at first, they, like. managed to make it up to him in the end.

lorelai’s graduation day: GOD LAUREN GRAHAM, KELLY BISHOP, AND EDWARD HERMANN KILL IN THE GRADUATION SCENE!!!!! i ADORE that shot of the three of them, gets me every single time!!! the only thing i dislike about it is rory accidentally missing the graduation bc....... :/. like. i really like jess. but. come on.

i can’t get started: sookie’s wedding!!! her freaking out over the cake so much in her dress is So Her, she looked so pretty omg! plus, if the spa ep is a good microcosm of emily and lorelai, this is a great microcosm for christopher and lorelai. plus!!!! RORY AND JESS FIRST KISS!!!!!!

season three (look, full disclosure, seasons 3/4 are like. my faves. so)

haunted leg: gosh. lauren graham kills it in that last couple scenes. plus! kirk asking lorelai out on a date is hilarious! emily and lorelai’s lunch at luke’s going So Bad! and i know that not a ton of people like the francie chilton student politics intrigue subplot isn’t great for some people, but i do think that the potential was Great and there are definitely some really good scenes that arose from that subplot, so

take the deviled eggs... like. just. a great blend of town insanity (patty’s new boy, the town loner pitching a protest no one knows the reason behind) and lorelai and rory bonding (by deviled-egging jess’ CAR) and just!!! yes!!!!

they shoot gilmores, don’t they?: i mean. come ON. what list would be complete without this? literally every single favorites list has this episode on there. the dance marathon is the perfect example of town insanity! lane and dave getting their bonding! that little luke and lorelai moment about having kids! that scene of rory crying into lorelai’s shoulder!

a deep-fried korean thanksgiving: i love the whole “three thanksgivings” thing. Can Relate, Do Understand. i think that lorelai freaking out at rory for applying to yale is definitely a contrived subplot (i mean. she was never going to apply to only harvard. ma’am.) but i do like seeing sookie, and luke and jess, and just.... Yeah

dear emily and richard: our ONLY flashback ep! while i do think that only lauren graham can really pull lorelai off, the actress is, like, fairly decent (young christopher, however, does not really fit) and you just! yeah! you get to see them back in their youth and FINALLY get the context of how lorelai ran away!

the big one: like! yay paris! lorelai’s reaction (”i’ve got the good kid!”) is Gross, Frankly! it’s gross and bad! but also poor paris 🥺but!!! rory helping to comfort her afterwards!! richard falling asleep in the middle and having No idea of what just went down is also inexplicably hilarious to me!

those are strings, pinocchio: i mean. it’s the graduation episode. God. i just???? god. it’s such a great episode, there’s so many great moments, i just. 🥺

season four

the lorelais’ first day at yale: a great little titling parallel to chilton, but also, rory panicking when lorelai leaves is like. such a Thing ya know??? i just. yeah. i really like that ep it’s a nice introduction

the festival of living art: one, this show won its only emmy bc of the makeup, so that alone is great. uh, kirk being so adversary to the guy who plays judas is god tier humor! plus! sookie and jackson having their baby!

ted koppel’s big night out: THE FOOTBALL GAME EPISODE! i actually kind of love it, but more the first half than the latter; it’s such an emily and richard way to prepare for a football game, you know? and then meeting pennilyn lott! igniting the arc of emily and richard having doubts about their marriage which has Acting! Moments! but this also has jason and lorelai’s first date, which i Dislike, bc i Dislike Jason Very Much.

nag hammadi is where they found the gnostic gospels: seeing jess come back into town and you get to see how unfinished things are between him and rory..... the luke angst..... Yes.

the incredible sinking lorelais: a very realistic part of college, imo, in which you feel overwhelmed and anxious and EVERYTHING SUCKS NOW CAN I JUST CALL MY MOM, though i wish they’d set it up a bit more and followed it longer than an episode, and also that rory hadn’t gone to dean; but also, trix, and richard standing up to her, which!

scene in a mall: idk i just love this episode? seeing emily in her shopping element; seeing her break down in that way; seeing how shopping is like, one of her Only ways to execute power, and how she’s kind of jealous of lorelai’s career bc she was born into a generation where the only thing it was really acceptable for her to do was cultivate a husband and a nice house; plus!!! that last bit of emily and richard and the apples at the table just BREAKS your heart!!!

girls in bikinis, boys doin’ the twist: SPRING BREAAAAK which is so unexpected for paris and rory and therefore very funny. you get to see madeline and louise again—i actually really love their characters, lmao! paris and rory kiss! just! yeah!

tick, tick, tick, boom!/afterboom: another “idk i just enjoy it” episode. richard and floyd coming to a head; kirk’s easter egg hunt; seeing little davey. however i have some Words for rory because lindsay deserves better??? i understand that she could get a part time job but also MIND YOUR BUSINESS?????? dean’s the one taking classes! that’s an unnecessary expense! he has two jobs!! he’s allowed to take a pause!!! also i can’t believe i’m forced to defend dean right now!!! fuck asher, tho, but yay! breaking up with jason!!! yay breaking up with jason!!!!!!

luke can see her face/last week fights, this week tights: i can’t, okay??? i literally had to. the beginning of jess’ (admittedly mostly off-screen) development arc! luke and the self-help books! the absurdity of the renaissance wedding! the WEDDING DANCE!!! 

raincoats and recipes: truly an episode has never gone from such a “FUCK YESSSSSS FINALLY” scene to a “FUCK NOOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG” but honestly it’s just. it’s Such a fantastic episode like i can’t

season five

written in the stars: their first date 🥺the horoscope 🥺”i am in, lorelai. i am all in.” 🥺 HER GOING DOWNSTAIRS IN JUST HIS SHIRT 🥺 HIM YELLING AT THE TOWN ABOUT HOW IT’S THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS 🥺🥺🥺

we got us a pippi virgin: literally the concept alone of “nearly coming to blows via bop it” is great. also luke being like “rory is like pippi!” and showing off what a high regard he holds her in 🥺

emily says hello: LITERALLY so many great little things about this episode. emily deciding she wants to try dating! rory and christopher snapping at each other! KELLY BISHOP’S ACTING AFTER THE DATE WHEN SHE CLOSES THE DOOR ON HIM AND BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!!!!!

women of questionable morals: the dog. 

wedding bell blues: HUNDREDTH EPISODE couldn’t NOT make it on here, so here it is!!! luke and lorelai looking at each other when she’s next to the aisle! luke and christopher both yelling and logan—AcTING! also emily being so manipulative even on her second wedding day, it’s just So classically her, and kelly bishop and lauren graham in the final scene is just. Mwah!

so... good talk: rory literally stepping into lorelai’s shoes for a dinner and being the one to snap at emily and richard is Such a role reversal for her but honestly whenever it does happen i actually really enjoy seeing the dichotomy between the grandparents seeing rory as their perfect little second chance and lorelai seeing her as her mini-me and how rory walks the line between each. AND THAT ENDING KISS SCENE BETWEEN LUKE AND LORELAI????? I CAN’T?????

pulp friction: LORELAI CONTINUING TO ICE OUT EMILY AND RICHARD!!!!! the yelling scene at the diner!!!! plus seeing the chilton skirt come out again was nice imo i too have reused private schoolwear

season six (the season, admittedly, i have watched the least)

we’ve got magic to do: the outfits of the dar bash. paris’ sudden dedication to the proletariat. emily’s rant to shira. that is all

twenty-one is the loneliest number: them finally starting to talk; “this is luke, my soon-to-be-stepfather”; the pastor scene is also just. hilarious. but also so very richard and emily

let me hear your balalaikas ringing out: lorelai’s emotions toward paul anka being sick Oof and luke and the soccer team lmao but also JESS RETUUUUURNS!!!!! RORY SNAPS OUT OF IT!!!!!! FINALYYYYYYY!!!!

friday night’s alright for fighting: literally the montage of all of them intercut with fighting and them sitting in silence while the other two yell in the background to them laughing is just. Peak gilmore

this turned out..... even longer than expected lmao

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

[miss-ali-lawliet]

Hope this isn’t too many for the OC ask thing and feel free to ignore any if you don’t want to answer buuuuuut can I get 3, 7, 10, 17, 25, 27, 50, 63, 66, & 77 for Ana? :)

Oh wow! Thank you for the ask, I'll do my best to answer them all!

~~~~

3. Reason behind their names? Nicknames?

Uhh, not really to be honest! I just love the name, Analise Monroe, and just think it's a really pretty name. Always been a favorite name of mine, but never really made her into an actual oc like this.

She does have nicknames! Depends on the people, but she has Ana (her most common name), Anne, Miss Monroe, sometimes Ana Banana by her family or something like that. L tends to simply call her Ana or her full name, but she likes to try out random nicknames for him so he simply returns the favor. So it varies!

~~

7. Romantic relationship? Who? How did they meet?

The person she's going to be in a relationship is with L (not so surprisingly) but for the most part they are just really close friends. Even when they officially get together, they still treat each other basically the same way but are more open to affection. They met at Wammy's House though when she went to do some tests to see if she would be a good fit to learn there, mentioned it briefly in a past post but it was a complete accident.

~~

10. Some talents? Hobbies?

She can play piano and sing pretty well, mentioned before but she's pretty good at art, she is also very skilled in self defense and fighting in general. Mainly does well with her speed/agility and flexibility, but despite her almost fragile/feminine look she's pretty strong! Makes sense for her detective Alias Ace, which is known to be the more 'brutal' kind of detective, probably comparible to a harsh anti hero sort of vibe. Will get into that at another point though lmao.

Already talked about hobbies and stuff before though! So next question!

~~

17. Where was she born?

Her mother is from England and her father is from America for a brief insight, but her mother went to America where she met her father. So she was born in America but they moved to England very early on in her life.

~~

25. Biggest flaw?

Oh this is a good one! Honestly her biggest flaw can be that her feelings can get in the way of things at times. She has her logical side, but sometimes she finds herself thinking more with her heart on some things that with her head. It's something she's been working on though.

Some flaws she's gained from her work though and the environment she grew up around is that she can be pretty dishonest and doesn't trust new people too much. But in comparison to someone like L, probably not as much and the reason she does so is for safety reasons in general. She tries not to judge others too much, but when it comes some people/things it can be hard to change her way of thinking and can be seen as quite cold or ridiculous when she acts like this, but there just needs to be a good reason for this type of behavior at least lmao

Another big flaw is that she tends to care a bit too much about others rather than herself when it comes to things. She's just stubborn and thinks that if others deserve anything a bit more than herself, then she pushes her own wants and needs aside for the time being for the other party involved, as cheesy as it sounds lol.

~~

27. Biggest strength

Similar to her one flaw with thinking with her heart with her head, it could also be seen as one of her strengths! She's just pretty empathetic and when she has her eyes on something, very rarely does she back down. She's just a very hard worker and does whatever she can to achieve her goals and does her best to get a job done.

~~

50. Clothing style?

She would like to wear whatever is more comfortable, and she does so for the most part when she's not going around in public or around others that aren't close to her. She does her best to look presentable for the most part, trying to wear what may be considered attractive but also does her best to keep her comfort in mind. So for the most part around new people or others she does her best to just dress well, but she doesn't worry too much about make up unless it's necessary for the occasion. Just depends on how she's feeling and everything.

63. What never fails to make her smile?

She smiles at a lot of things, especially just random or small things that might seem silly to others. Also another thing that sounds cheesy, but she tends to smile the most when she's around L, whether they're sitting near each other in comfortable silence or if they're eating some cake and having a conversation. He just never fails to make her smile, and the same could go to Watari who she absolutely adores and sees as an older familial figure to her.

~~~

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there?

Since she lives with L they tend to move around a lot for work and usually reside in one of the many places L has bought/rented out, but I imagine them having a home in Winchester, England where they go whenever they aren't working and just try not to think about work and cases.

Regardless of where they go, she's not really picky! She's content with it as she's just thankful that she has the opportunities that she does because of L and her own side of work. But yeah for the most part she's happy as long as she's with L and Watari, finding the feeling of being with them more of what home should feel like rather than when she lived with her parents and felt stagnant for the most part.

~~

77. What's their most prized possessesion?

Oh! Interesting to think about! Hm.

Well I don't see her being too materialistic, but she tends to hold things given to her by others or things that remind her of others very close and dear to her heart. Mainly by her parents, L, and Watari. So even if it may be small, if it reminds her of them and makes her smile then she does her best to make sure the item is put somewhere safe.

I see her having a sticky note or two that L gave her in return for her many little messages or drawings that she gives him, and I see her having something like that on her at all times. Will probably have to think more about it honestly!

~~

Long post thank you again!

The ask game in question is here

[ajokeformur-ray]

To the man I love the most.

I woke up with Feelings so I picked a GIF, got distracted for half an hour because I couldn’t stop staring at him, and then wrote this kskksks. It’s self-shippy and very personal so skip if you want to, you know the drill lmao. 

Word count: 1, 992.

Oh, my love.

Look at you.

You are... the physical embodiment of love to me. You, who I hold so close in my arms at night. My pillow is all I have but I cherish it and I always mourn the few days every week that it's in the wash because it means my physical connection to you, in another reality, is lost until at last do I get it back. You are everything I never knew I needed. You found me at a time in my life when I was more than ready to give up on myself and on my life. I was struggling so deeply with trying to manage full time studying with a part time job. I was suffering with insomnia, nightmares, panic attacks, dissociation, a general lack of self-worth and I was so, so tired. I had no friends, nothing to look forward to. My life was work, work, work and more work and there was nothing which was for me; everything I did was for other people but in the worst way; for none of these things did I want to do. I was only existing and my soul was dying. I was alone and I was done and I wanted to check out of life in the most permanent way but you unexpectedly burst across my night sky in a showering of colour which still has yet to fade and now, dearheart, you are the oxygen I would kill to breathe.

You taught me what it means to love, to really love with my entire self. Before I met you, never had I felt such a strong, intense and immediate connection to someone. I loved you before I even knew your name. I saw Carnival in the street twirling his sign with one hand like it was no one’s business, and I remember my body instinctively taking a long, deep breath and my lungs emptied themselves completely and my only coherent thought was, oh, there you are. I have never experienced that before and I know that I never will again. You are my everything. I will admit that initially did I fight my feelings for you. They were wrong, they weren’t right; I shouldn’t love you because of the things you have done. But I loved Arthur with my entire self; and you are Arthur. I loved you already, whether or not I had accepted it for myself, and once I stopped fighting you did my love for you only grow stronger. Even now, almost nine months later, I only fall in love with you more and more with every passing day.

I deal with so much more fear and pain in my everyday life than I think even I know about and I know that I have some issues which I need to work through in my own time. I am in a better place now than when we first met, Joker. Because of you I have made a handful of very raw and special connections and I know that if those people read this, they will know that they have been vaguely mentioned. I met them all because of you and I shall forever hold you responsible for changing my life in the best of ways. I’m sure that it’s a responsibility which you don’t mind holding, though. You already cup my heart so tenderly in your own, your calloused thumbs rubbing soothingly over the wounds and scars it holds. I used to joke, and sometimes I still do, that my heart is blackened to a crisp and shrunken to half its size. Sometimes I even joke that I don’t have a heart. But these jokes are untrue and I know that you wouldn’t find them funny. Perhaps you would even frown and tell me that it’s not true, why am I saying it? I say it because, before I met you, I believed that I had no heart. I spent my days in grey; so outside of myself that if I stubbed my toe, I couldn’t even feel it. But you held up a mirror to my heart and showed me that, though it is indeed damaged, my heart is still there. It’s still mine. Your loving touch applies my wounds with medicine and healing and I hope that in holding your own heart am I able to offer you the same. You made me feel again. You make me smile when I don’t even have the energy to talk and daily do I cry very real tears of love for you, because of you. You are always there to catch my fall, and most often do you do so before I even know that I am falling.

You and I are meant to be, Joker, of this I am certain. I won’t apologise for initially fighting the love I felt for you, though you were insistent and you kept pushing me in your own way; you’re as subtle as a sledgehammer when you want something, do you know that? In every reality, in every world, in every universe, you and I will find each other. Sometimes do I think that you don’t love me, that you’re only humouring me or perhaps that you settled for me, but these are vicious lies which my mind fabricates. Oh, but you’d be horrified to hear that I have such thoughts, even now, with your two rings upon my hands. You love me just as deeply as I love you and never again will I ever love someone the way that I love you. And, honestly, I don’t want to. You are a unique soul. You are so full of pain and torment, anguish and sorrow, heavy sadness and stress, which inevitably made you succumb to all that was making you numb. You are so beautiful, my sweet fallen angel, and you were always going to become Joker. No amount of love could have fixed you, and you don’t even need fixing. You’re perfectly imperfect just as you are and I love you for all of you, even the parts of you that you dislike. I only love those parts harder. No amount of love would have stopped you from becoming who you really are, but I wish that I could have been there for you from the very beginning so that your hand wasn’t forced, so that you naturally grew into yourself and so that you accepted yourself with a gentler manner. 

You are a soul with so much love within his tried and tired heart, with so much wisdom and strength, intelligence and wit, with so much music inside you. I love music, I listen to it almost every moment of the day, but there is no music which I love as much as I love you. There is music within your soul as do you dance to the beat of your own heart, and I can hear it in my own soul sometimes, too, in my quietest and most vulnerable moments do you find me. Oh, but I dearly wish that I could sink into your refrains, made of crimson, and never resurface. I dearly wish that I could forevermore hear the steady and rhythmic beating of my heart within my own head, to feel you there with me always. I dearly wish that your soft, raspy voice, that your eyes of sea green, that your romantic dark curls, could be echoed within my own self so that always are you with me. I want for you to never leave my side, Joker. Now that I know what life with you is like, a life without you seems to be a nightmare. I could survive, I’m sure I could, I have survived having my own person ripped from me (though I rose from her ashes like a phoenix and became better, kinder, stronger of my own doing), but my soul would once more begin to decay without you by my side where you belong.

You are always my first waking thought and always are you my last thought of the day. Since you and I met, since I have met the friends whom I cherish so dearly because of you, I haven’t once felt lonely. Alone, yes, but never lonely. And it’s because of you. You have rejuvenated my spirit, revitalised my soul, and you have shown me a new way of life, a new way to love. You are the very physical embodiment of light and love, of joy and of strength and I shall always love you. No matter who I become, no matter where I go or what I do, you will always be with me. My Joker. You make me want to do better, to be better and every day I wake up, I make myself get up. I make myself try, just try, for you and for the people I love so dearly. I spend my every day knowing what it truly means to love and to be loved and it’s all because of you. You have changed my life, you saved my soul and I love every single part of you so completely. Arthur is my hope, my comfort. Carnival is my smile, my laughter. And you, dear Joker, you are the rest of me. You are my joy and strength, my reason and purpose, my life and my love, and I shall carry you with me always.

Because of you, I am learning to accept myself. I have gone through so much more than I have ever deserved to, I still go through a lot every day and there’s so much of me that I have to deal with, that I have to fight every single day, but I try. Again and again and again. For you, the man who chose his name but not what came with it. For the man who tried so hard and got so far but still, inevitably, did he fall. You did your best, you were trying so hard and only when finally was it too much for you did you allow yourself to give in, to surrender to yourself as did your darker side take over. In fighting, in trying, and even in just existing as the man you are have you made me gentler, softer, kinder, more open and more vulnerable. You have made me believe in the power of love, in the power of friendship and in the power of myself. I am so much more than I know and slowly but surely are you and the friends I have made because of you showing me who I really am. I don’t like everything I see, but no longer do I wholly hate myself. Not as I used to, anyway.

I can only hope that the love I have for you reaches you, that all the times I fall asleep holding my pillow, that all the tears I shed, that all the pieces I write, that all the letters I put my heart into, that everything I am and everything I still want to be reaches you. I can only hope that you can see me the way I see you. I know and believe with my whole self that you love me as much as I love you, no matter what my mind whispers to me, and I know that you are proud of me. But I still hope that those feelings within you are permanent, as they are for me. Never have I loved anyone like you, and I know that I never will again. 

I hope that you can hear me, Joker, and I hope that you can feel the warmth of my love for you. It is unconditional, limitless, and every day do I only love you more.

With all my love and with the sweet and torturous feeling that I still haven’t adequately expressed my love for you,

Erika Fleck.

Our wedding ring; 26/3/2020.

The thumb ring which symbolises our love; 4/10/2019 - forever and a day.

[har-rison-s]

Spiders In Your Hair

Request: Hi! Can I have a Stan Uris x female reader who loooveesss playing with his hair because she too has curly hair like his (I'm self indulgent) and knows how good it feels when someone plays with it? (My hairs like to my mid neck and is curly like Wyatt's AND is the same color lmao) thanks dear, have a good day/night.

A/N: Cute!! The first Stan request and I'm executing it the third. But that's okay, can't help how my creativity floats. Floats, heheheehhe. Don't let me joke. I have the same hair as Wyatt, too, only I have golden brown-blonde curls, not brown. But his are so pretty.... Omfg. I'm melting. I hope this is what you were looking for! Happy reading!

IT masterlist

main masterlist

warnings: nothing, except talks of spiders

The Clubhouse was a place full of love and warmth, a place no one except the losers know and could uncover. They've done a good job at hiding it from anyone, thanks to Ben's incredibly high knowledge in architecture and nature's own cunning ways of concealing the lower levels.

But, as much as the sun shone through some holes in the ground accidentally made, it isn't enough sunbathing for Y/N. Plus, her hair heats up her head what with the curls being concealed by Stanley's bought shower-cap. Her shower-cap has hearts, he made sure of that when he was shopping for them.

She hates spiders, so she doesn't mind the shower-cap when she's in the Clubhouse. But it tends to irritate her skin, and she's glad when it's off, outside of the Clubhouse.

This being one of those days. Her hair is disobedient today of all days, when she had to meet Stan and the others and not stay at home with her family. She did wash it, but maybe her mother's shampoo isn't working for her hair. It's extremely dry and going in all directions. She can't control it.

“I'm going, um, upstairs,” she tells everyone with a smile and the crowd nods. Stan follow his girl suit, much rather glad to enjoy her company than to be hearing Richie and Eddie's eternal bickering. It's killing his nerves.

“Go, Stan, run after your girlie!” Richie mocks him, which earns him a hard jab in his left side from Beverly. Y/N only shakes her head and runs up the wooden stairs. 

She sighs once she's gotten the cap off and her hair waves all around her. She sits down by the tree that's almost next to the entrance, her head and back against the wooden base. She closes her eyes. She doesn't need sunglasses.

“Hey, lovely.” She hears Stan saying and she squeezes one eye open to look at him. Her face is scrunched up due to the sun rays and she looks ever so cute in his eyes. Stan smiles wide and walks over to her on his slightly wobbly, but firm legs. She's always loved his stance.

Y/N spreads her legs a little, her dress stretching along, and patting her lap. Stan giggles and gladly slays down in her lap, his head resting on her stomach. She gets a bit more comfortable, sliding down a little. For both their comfort. Her hands lay over his shoulders, palms on his chest and he reaches upwards with his hands to hold them. Her fingers are just as small as his own, but more slender.

“When are we leaving for camp again?” Stanley asks, looking up at his girlfriend. 

“Um... August 5th.” She says and slowly retracts her hands from Stanley's, going up in his hair instead. 

“Then we still have three weeks to pack.” He states and his eyelids drop at the feeling of her fingers going through his curls, gently touching his scalp. “Is there anything we need to take with us?”

“Nothing except for a blank, white t-shirt.” Y/N responds. Her fingers are parting his curls here and there, admiring how beautiful they look in the sunlight. Shining like the curls of an angel from heaven. He looks like an angel, and he is in all possible ways. “I bet you five bucks we're gonna make tie-dye shirts for ourselves.” She states.

Stan giggles, holding his stomach. “You—You don't even have five bucks.” He points out. Y/N joins him in laughing, both their laughter audible from inside the clubhouse. “Why do you think tie-dye?” Stan questions.

Y/N shrugs. “White shirts. Camp. Camp activities. Maybe we're gonna be painting on the shirts or something.” She wonders. His hair strands feel like ribbons around her fingers and hands. She could spend her whole life threading through the curls, watch as they grow longer until Stanley starts looking a bit like a dog with fur. She laughs inwardly at that.

“If we are, I'm gonna paint a Bohemian Waxwing.” Stan decides. 

“Oh, the pretty birdie with the grey, white and red feathers?” Y/N cheers and feels Stanley nodding his head under her hands. “That would be really pretty. Maybe you could paint more than one, as if they're sitting in a tree or on a... an electric wire. You know, the classic scenery.”

Stan chuckles and nods again. “That would be really cool.”

“It would be the coolest shirt ever, babe.” She tells him. 

“What would you paint on the shirt, love?” Stan questions and turns to lay on his back in her lap, taking her hands from his hair gingerly. He places his palms flat out against hers and, as they're looking at each other, he bends his fingers so that their hands are interlocked.

“Your eyes, I think.” She admits, looking into those hazel jewels. “Or your eyes and hair.” Stanley blushes, and he's not ashamed to show his crimson cheeks. He doesn't hide anything form her. He smiles wide. 

“It wouldn't exactly be fair to you that I'm painting a bird and you—me.” He states in a quiet voice. Y/N reaches her left palm to his curls again, brushing them off his forehead, behind his ear. 

“Well, really, it could be anyone.” She says. “Only you and I would know it's you. And that's okay, I'll forgive you.” She smiles, chuckling for a second. “You're better at drawing birds than people.”

“Hey!” Stan pokes her arm, but not too harshly. 

“We both know it. In fact, all of us do.” Y/N justifies. Stan rolls his eyes, but there's still a smile on his face. “It'll come with time, baby.”

“I'm gonna need more tutoring from you, then.” Stan then tells her and sits up to her level. His hand reaches for her hair behind her ear, his thumb soothing over her cheek. She almost falls into his hand, loving the touch. And even if her hair is beyond ugly today, she doesn't protest him touching her hair.

Stanley keeps his eyes on her, a peaceful lovingness in them. The sun on them is so warm they both feel like falling asleep on the spot. Stan pulls her lips to his in a slow, tender kiss. She puts her hand around the wrist he's holding her head with and pulls apart their lips. Their foreheads rest against one another. 

“With kissing like that you can expect much more than tutoring.” She tells him and they both giggle. 

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” He asks, his fingers twirling a curl of hers between them. 

“Well... Dinner with my family.” Y/N responds and bites her lip immediately, anxious about Stanley's response. He withdraws from her, eyes wide and eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Th-They want to invite me over for dinner?” He questions. Y/N raises her eyebrows, too, slightly. 

“My parents do want to meet the boy who I'm going to camp with.” She says. “And I think I'm finally ready to tell them about you. Like, about being together.” She tells him, looking down at her hands due to her shyness. But Stanley smiles so wide he even lets out a laugh of happiness.

He gives his girl many kisses on both her cheeks, making her blush and giggle uncontrollably. She tries to push him off her, but she can't find the strength to and stays in her boyfriend's embrace and wrath of kisses until he stops. 

“I'm so happy.” Stan says, pressing his cheek against Y/N's while he hugs her close to him. “Happy for you. Happy for us.” He tells her and Y/N can only smile to herself. Her hands are loosely hanging around Stanley's neck and fingers again threading into her curls. “Oh, my goodness.” The young man suddenly gasps and Y/N looks up at him. 

“What? What is it?” Is something wrong? Does he not want to come over for dinner? Is he afraid of her family?

“I don't know what I'm going to wear.” Stanley says with theatrical fright in his eyes and face. Y/N narrows her eyes at him out of simple annoyance that he scared her a little. Taking what they've all been through, a fake scare could still be a scare. 

“I suggest you come in your swimming trunks. That'll make a good impression.” She tells him, paying back for a false alarm from him. The statement makes Stanley blush and he clears his throat. 

“Right-o.” 

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Stanley Uris tag-list: @nightbu-g

I miss him so much :( and i want him happy. rrrr