#lol i joke we good

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[onequalityduck]

i know it’s been a few weeks but that reply to the post you made about sanitizing queer sexuality in media where you failed to understand the OP and told them to just “say you want people to fuck more in media” was truly so stupid and dismissive of you. why are you like this

Ansjakhcjeoanja yea it was a few weeks! Omg had to look way back for me to see it.

Hmmm, dunno if u really want my answer, I mean like I’m not really important lol nobody follows me nor do I post any shit, hell you may never see this, but I’ll explain my answer bc I love to talk lol. Also because this is like a super important topic. The topic of who gets allocated the measly amount of representation we get!

See, my problem with the tweet is that it mixes romance and sexuality, and I think the tweet itself is sanitized. Yeah, I actually agree with op, apart from the pitting gays against each other, like that just causes infighting. Lets call it what it is; we gays want to see our community represented outside the hand-holdy, puritanical blink-and-you-miss-it kiss that shapes most gay representation, especially lesbians. Lesbians ONLY get more-than-friends vibes and we all know why, it’s not to make ace people happy that nobody’s fucking in their media. It’s to make straight people happy that they can just pretend to bypass the fact that they are lesbians, and can just pretend they’re good friends.

There’s a reason why Gomez and Morticia Addams have a marriage like they do, it’s because to our American society explicitly desiring your partner is not normal. I believe normalizing desire, especially between gay people, can also make things better for the ace community because the straights are just so obsessed with hiding sex away that maybe they’ll stop hiding it in EVERYTHING. Like why does a chocolate ad need to have a naked woman fr.

But also like, let’s normalize saying the word sex! Say the word fuck! Say you want a woman to kiss another woman down her neck and tell her how fuckable she is outside of porn!! I guess I’m not really expecting much from a tweet that can only be so many characters, but every comment on the post is kinda dancing around that too. You say you want to normalize sexuality then fucking say it! But then also don’t forget who made you this way. It aint old gays who want to see more old gays being domestic, it ain’t baby gays still uncomfortable seeing their own sexuality, and it aint the ace community. That’s the community I know either the op tweet was targeting or certainly the comments on it but like. It aint them doing it. This is the work of puritanical patriarchical homophobic views by the straights who view all of us as vile and sick and perverted. They and the system that perpetuates this is sanitizing our media, and infighting ain’t gonna stop it. It’s going to help it, that’s what they do, try to polarize us so we cant support each other and fight against them like tale as old as time bud.

So, like, acknowledge everyone is trying to fight their own fight to be seen in their media, say you personally want the gays to fuck (aka be less sanitized), and move on.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to explain my stance! I agree, my original comment on it was hard to understand but lol what can ya do with character limits? Lol i totally said you gotta word your shit right and then I go do the same so like, I’mma take that comment down bc obv if it’s making people mad then I didn’t explain myself well. Hopefully I explained it better now!

[yardsards]

i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage

[bloodybellycomb]

"these characters would solve all of their issues if they would just be open and honest with each other!" and like, sure, maybe, but our current world mocks vulnerability and its pretty much expected that everyone puts on a mask of irony and detachment at all times and its very hard to break that pattern of behaviour if youve never known anything else.

some people have never openly acknowledged their own emotions once in their entire life, of course they are going to be bad at it

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

ew, old men, on inherently opposite moral sides and dramatically different moral values, flirting fighting????

its more likely than you think ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

[bethanydelleman]

It's funny, when I say that Austen didn't advise marrying a rake or a Gothic hero, someone replies, "They've mistaken Austen for the Brontë sisters." (usually meaning Emily and Charlotte).

Except... Emily and Charlotte didn't advocate reforming a rake either. Jane Eyre famously GTFO when she learned that Rochester was trying to commit bigamy and she didn't return without divine intervention to a man who had been half-smitted by God for his sins. Isabella may have originally thought she could reform Heathcliff, but pretty quickly she fled from her marriage, never returned, and did everything she could to keep her son from him.

Maybe we could just stop blaming these literary women for things they didn't even do, not that we really need to blame anyone since I'm fairly certain that writing a love story where a heroine reforms a rake isn't the root cause of all evil.

[miusato]

Honestly the main attraction for Shinjiham is how contrast their personality is and it is always funny for me to think about how people around them would react if they found out they're dating in this AU lol

[ladylingua]

if I lived in Tortall and became a lady knight my big distinction would be that I can be the first female knight that enjoys gossiping and parties and all the other stuff Tammy can’t help herself from 😑ing at because she hates it so much lmao

“So wait, they’re giving out free food and drinks in the great hall and all I have to do is wear an outfit and stand around and listen to assholes talk about themselves while occasionally taking my turn to yammer on about my thoughts on the realm? Say less, I’m sprinting back from this practice court as we speak”

[matchalovertrait]

After about 10 months of dating, Dulce decided it was time for her family to meet Caruso, and well... let's just say that things could've gone better.... Will this shake things up in the Alegría household?

Note: For those who don't know, the "discovery" of "spa water" was a very real thing 💀 That sounds so unappetizing. Insulting in many ways lol.

Transcript

Erick: Nice to meet you, Caruso!

Noemí: What a pleasure to finally meet you.

Caruso: Thank you. I see where your daughter got her good looks from.

Noemí: Oh my! How flattering.

Ángel: Um... is he really using his phone at the dinner table?

Noemí: It's so nice to have every seat filled up at the table! Now we wait for the grandchildren to come.

Erick: [Whispers] Are you seeing what I'm seeing...

Pavan is completely oblivious, too in love with Ángel to notice anything.

Ángel: [Whispers] Yeah...

Erick: I'll give him another chance... Nice shirt, what's your favorite album of theirs?

Caruso: Oh, I don't listen to this band. Their music is boring. I thought the design on the shirt looked rad as hell.

Erick: I see.... please excuse me.

Noemí: Your agua fresca is amazing! It's agua de pepino, right?

Caruso: ...Agua... fresca? No, no. This is my creation! I call it "spa water."

Noemí: Oh... clever.

Ángel: I'm not sure if my drawing is conveying the message y'know?

Pavan: Looks great to me. The colors play into the theme of not escaping one's past.

Ángel: Ah perfect. I was going to sign myself up for Color Theory 101 again.

Caruso: Color theory? What's there to theorize? Colors exist, obviously. Just look everywhere, haha. Am I right or am I right?

Ángel: Is this a joke?

Noemí: Ahem... Mija, can you come help sing a lullaby to the fish? They won't sleep.

Dulce: Oh we have pet fish now? Since when do fish need music to sleep anyway? [Says quietly] Also, I sing well?

Caruso: Yeah you sing beautifully.

Noemí: Um... It's a new kind of science. Let's go, just the two of us.

[sysig]

Wuh oh (Patreon)

Bonus:

The novel experience of being crushed by a giant rock, a visual metaphor

[jellyjamheadobb]

[jula483]

what does it meannnn

(x)

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Thank you to everyone supporting the “it’s a body suit but it’s the angel equivalent of nude colored” agenda.

You understood the assignment. Best of both worlds.

[mayormimii]

Thinking about the fact that (in Pathologic 1) Daniil looks almost exactly like Victor Kain.

You know, Maria’s father.

There could be something in that, I think.

[bewakulfi]

online friendships ars so bittersweet

[itsafternoonpast5]

very crazy episode. too bad it was based off of lord of the flies