#look at how smug his goofy ass is

[hxney-lemcn]

Prince and the Frog — Housewardens x gn! reader

summary: you find yourself cursed and you go to your prince to lift it.

tw: none that I can think of.

a/n: I saw something about the princess and the frog and got inspo. This is so fun, goofy, and lovely, I hope y'all enjoy <3

wc: 1.9k (~300 each character)

Master List

You weren’t sure what you’ve done to deserve this, but even you felt it wasn’t enough. I mean a frog? Really? And the cure was a true love's kiss? Seriously? Can it get any more cliche? You might as well search for a princess and turn her into a frog as well and then set off into a journey of personal growth…you suppose a prince will have to do. You went to the first person you thought could help, time to see if they really would still love you if you were a worm, err…frog.

Riddle Rosehearts

Okay, so maybe Riddle wasn’t technically a prince, but a queen is a step above that, no? You were a little scared of his reaction, but you couldn’t stay a frog forever. Not to mention that someone else had cursed you, it’s not like you turned yourself into a frog. So when you managed to find him he freaked out, mouth agape as you explained your situation. Thank the sevens you could still talk. Riddle’s face soured, lips twisted into a scowl. At first you thought he was going to find a way to collar you in your current slippery state, but he ended up ranting about the person who cursed you, asking for any details that you could provide. The thought of kissing you to break the curse hadn’t even crossed his mind, instead skipping straight to punishing the fool who’d curse the Queen’s rose and making them reverse it. It was then that you learned just how quickly Riddle could sniff someone out if he wanted to, because the effects had been reversed by the end of the same day. (If that doesn’t show you how much he loves you then I don’t know what can).

Leona Kingscholar

…are you sure about this? I mean…yeah he’s a prince and all but he might just toss you mistaking you for a random frog who dared to encroach on his space. The type to argue he wouldn’t have to love you if you were a worm cause how ridiculous is that? Well…not so ridiculous now, huh? Thankfully, you had found Ruggie first, explaining your situation and asking for him to bring you to Leona. Not so thankfully, Ruggie found the entire thing hilarious and had to take a moment to calm himself down. He kept snickering to himself the entire way to Leona, making you want to die, or just stay a frog and live a happy life in a nice little pond and start a little froggy family. When Ruggie managed to tell Leona what was going on in between laughter Leona just stared at you like you were the stupidest motherfucker. Hey! It wasn’t like you were asking to be cursed! Has an internal conflict on what to do. On one hand he wants to prove he’s your true love, and kissing you seems to be the quickest way to get this over with…on the other you are a literal frog. Shooing Ruggie away, Leona bemoaningly gave you the quickest peck ever, making a face of disgust as he pulled away. The transformation back took a few seconds, but the look of disgust quickly turned to a smug smirk, feeling proud that you were truly his. 

Azul Ashengrotto

Okay, so again, not an actual prince…but he excelled at potions, so it only made sense…except he’ll probably make you sign your life away. So maybe not a good choice once again. I pray for you because one if not both of the Leech twins are gonna find you first and they’re gonna have a field day. ‘My, you’d look perfect in one of my terrariums’ Jade would note. Floyd would probably accidentally kill you because this entire situation is oh so hilarious and he forgot he’s supposed to be holding you gently. After the two have their fun (Jade plays with you and his terrarium like you're a doll in a dollhouse), they finally bring you to Azul, laughing their asses off in their own ways. Azul stares at you blankly as the two eel brothers leave, trying his hardest to not laugh. His face is red from concealing his humor, looking to the side to collect himself. He’ll offer you the cure, but for a price. Kiss you? He has a reputation to upkeep you know. He can’t be seen kissing frogs, imagine what that’ll do to his image! No, no, just sign the contract, and to sweeten the deal he’ll have the twins deal with the pest who thought it was a good idea to curse his angelfish. If you really persist, he’ll give in eventually. To be fair, he is also curious to see if you're his true love, but on the other hand he’s terrified if you're not. He doesn’t want to lose you. And to both your delight, you transform back after he gives you a small kiss on your little froggy head…he’s also running laps in his mind at how happy he is.

Kalim Al-Asim

He’s a prince and won’t think twice! He loves you truly, so it has to work! Too bad Jamil stumbled upon you first. Adamantly tries to hide you from Kalim and he feels his headache growing ten times worse. Why did you stupidly get yourself cursed? He asks like you did it on purpose. You didn’t know why the guy cursed you either! Jamil keeps you tucked in his hoodie until he can find time to bring you to Professor Crewel. You tried to fight him at first as you’d rather stay a frog than get detention for something you had no control over, but Jamil knew how to keep a tight leash on the unruly…it was his job after all. Unfortunately for him, Kalim walked into the kitchens right as you hopped out of his pocket. At first he was confused, and then even more confused, and then ecstatic. You hopped over to him, asking for him to protect you from Jamil (who was giving you a major side eye). Then you explained your predicament, and Jamil butted in about bringing you to Crewel. Innocently, Kalim offered to kiss you. No need to bother Crewel if the cure was so simple! Jamil couldn’t stop him in time, as Kalim kissed you the second he finished the sentence. Even Jamil couldn’t hide his disgust for a second at the action. Thankfully, Kalim was your true love as you had transformed back, and he hugged you gleefully. Unfortunately for Kalim, you refused any of his kisses until he rinsed his mouth (lmao).

Vil Schoenheit

Another queen. Best person to go to. He can whip up any cure just as fast as he can whip up any potion/poison. Rook, saw the whole encounter with the other student, and brought you to Vil without a second thought. He already knew everything about the idiot who cursed you so no need to stick around. Vil’s gaze turned into a disapproving stare as he looked at you. Even though Rook tried to stick up for you, dramatizing the whole event as stating how brave you were to face such a curse head on, Vil only shook his head. He motioned for Rook to follow him, not wanting to pick you up. He loves you, really he does, he just can’t afford to get his clothes dirty or stained. He picks the ingredients effortlessly, starting to brew the cure without a second thought. Both you and Rook seemed to want to get on his nerves as you both prattle on about true love and how he should kiss you. He didn’t expect you to be a cheesy sap (he’s lying), besides, don’t you know how many curses list true love’s kiss as the cure? The meaning is pointless. Besides, he doesn’t need some curse to prove his love for you, hasn’t he shown you how much you mean to him already? Or was he lacking, because he didn’t think you’d doubt him. Either way, you’re drinking the cure, he couldn’t risk that your slimy frog skin might make him break out. But don’t worry, if you really have room to doubt his love, he’ll make sure you can’t within the week.

Idia Shroud

Hahaha. Again, are you sure? He’s always holed up in his room, the only chance you're brought to him is if Ortho finds you (or vice versa). At first Ortho found you adorable, cooing at you as he floated to Idia’s room. He thought this was the perfect opportunity to show both you and Idia just how much you care for the other. How could either of you doubt the other if it's sealed with a true love's kiss? It was a brilliant opportunity! (Orthos a little too into this). He barely let his brother welcome them in before barging in and shoving a frog (you) into Idia’s face. At first Idia screeched, falling out of his gamer chair and scrambling away from the amphibian. Was Ortho pranking him? That’s totally uncool, he wasn’t some normie. But then Ortho happily blabbed about you and the curse and then it clicked…YOU WERE A FROG? Now he’s rolling on the floor laughing at you. You’d smack him if you WEREN’T A FROG. After he’s done laughing it up, he then freezes. Ortho wants him to kiss you? B-but that's gross! Who knows what diseases he’ll get if he kisses you. k. Wait, don't go to someone else! Fine, he’ll do it, but he won’t like it. Inside, he’s absolutely terrified. His mind is running a mile a minute. He doesn’t think you’ll actually turn back, someone like him doesn’t deserve true love…so imagine the face he makes when you do. Face a bright red, his hair a bright pink. Oh no, he feels faint. Give him a peck on the lips to finish him off.

Malleus Draconia

Uh oh. Queue the thunder and lightning. Whoever cursed you is the stupidest motherfucker. Malleus is the one to stumble upon you this time, to the disdain of his family. Lilia on one hand wanted to laugh about the situation, on the other, he knew he’d have to protect the stupid human from being smite for cursing Malleus’ love. Silver and Sebek are sweating as Malleus holds you gently in his hands. If he thought you were gentle as a human, he’s being ten times more careful with you in your froggy state. On the outside, he’s silent and brooding, on the inside he’s lamenting on finding you an enclosure where you can be happiest. What type of tank, soil, plants, water…someone please tell him this is reversible. Lilia chimes in before the rain outside can get worse, mentioning true love's kiss is able to reverse the effects. Malleus’ green slitted eyes never move from your tiny form, he finds you absolutely breathtaking even as a frog (this man is down so bad), but he’s nothing but relieved when he hears the news. Human lifespans are already small as is, he would’ve been completely gut wrenching if that time was cut even shorter. Another one who doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. This man would love you if you were a worm. He strokes your moist skin gently as he leaves a small kiss to your adorable head. His entire being, soul, mind and body all belong to you, and if that isn’t true love then I don’t know what is. His eyes shine brightly as you transform back, holding you gently as he promises to protect you from any miscreant that dares even look at you wrong…yeah so the guy who cursed you is still fucked and now you have a protective dragon at your heel 24/7.

[chrollosbm]

I Keep Having This Fantasy About Gojo…

…of him talking his usual shit in bed

yadda yadda, “this dick got you fucking stupid, huh? you can’t even handle it,” just his smug, arrogant mouth running and running every time his fat cock hits the ceiling of your cunt knocking the wind out of you.

he does have the grounds to hit you with those obnoxiously true words though, the salty liquid running down your cheeks and your constant mewls are telling on you, but he just can’t shut the fuck up.

so you make him. you wait until you’re sitting on him, kneecaps on the bed, feeling the reason for his insistent babbling churning your guts before you make sure he has the safe word the two of you barely used in his pretty little pretentious head.

more shit talking ensues as he continues to rut that fat member into your dripping pussy, so soaked his silver pubes are changing into a darker hue. blah blah blah, “you act like i’m the one who even uses that shit, you’re the one who can’t stop chanting it when you’re runnin’ from this dick” bullshit.

you’re growing tired of it just as you blink through the dark spots and stars filling your vision as he takes you talking back as a reason to slam you down onto his hips and you swear you black out for a second. it doesn’t throw you off your mission, even with the vicious thrusts the cerulean eyed man below you is giving you, your hand finds its way to his pale, porcelain skin with a loud sound and for once he’s fucking silent.

the hush in the room is terrifying, with his jams coming to a halt and the bony hands on your ass gripping tighter by the second. you dared to look at the stunned, now red faced man under you, whose warm, minty breath in your face has seemed to cease while your heart rate has never been as speedy.

your pupils were shaking in fear of what was to come, how he would react, what would he say now, before his cheekbones raised into that goofy grin of his, before digging his fingers into the fat of your ass to bounce you on him like a pogo stick, this time choosing words of encouragement.

“fuuuck, that was hot. do it again, but harder this time.”

my masterlist

[munsonsprincess11111]

Awkward situation

Eddie munson x Henderson!reader

Summary: your dating Eddie munson your brothers best friend. Even though it annoys the he'll out of Dustin he can't exactly stop you both. Eddie stays at your place after a d&d campaign that went on to long with the rest of hellfire.

D&D was a success last night for thr group. Though it rolled to early hours of the morning. So with permission of mother Henderson the boys stayed in the basement. Everyone left early the next morning besides Eddie. Mother Henderson didn't mind him staying longer though as she liked the positivity he brought to Dustin.

Eddie was leaning on the kitchen counter talking to Dustin as he finished the dishes from the night before. Eddie had taken out the trash bag they filled up and the one that was in the kitchen.

"I'm thinking the next campaign I'll work in a few less monsters keep it short and sweet after the one last night." Eddie says to Dustin

"Yeah give us a small recovery break" Dustin laughs and Eddie laughs along. The boys continue to talk Eddie helping Dustin dry the dishes and put them away. As they finish up you finally wake up and come walking into the living room to say good morning to your mom. Then to the kitchen.

Dustin and Eddie turn when they hear someone enter. Dustin scoffs and Eddie can't help but smirk. Your wearing one of the band tees Eddie gave you that was way to big and a pair of your more slutty panties. It isn't lacey at the front and covers some of your ass with the help of Eddie's tee shirt but Dustin still scoffs.

"Jesus y/n put your ass away for once we have company." Dustin says. He doesn't tend to care how you walk around the house infact he walks around in his underwear when no guests are there. But he does care when his friend is stood there.

You gasp and look up to see who it is and see a very smug looking Eddie. You let out a breath and step to Eddie. "I think your forgetting your company is my boyfriend." You say as you step forward into Eddie. His arms go around you as he smiles. You hug him around his middle putting your face in his chest.

Dustin makes fake gagging noises and Eddie frowns at him. You bring your face out of his chest and look up at Eddie. "Morning beautiful." Eddie laughs slightly looking at you with your messy hair and goofy smile.

"Morning eds. How comes your here?" You ask genuinely curious.

"I stayed the night. Campaign wrapped up late so everyone crashed here but the others left I stayed to help Dustin tidy and see you." HE smiles kissing you. You melt into him finally getting a hello kiss.

"Why didn't you come get in bed with me if you was here?" You ask frowning.

"Cause it wouldn't be fair that I came here to see my friends and then ditched at 2 am cause I want to sleep in your bed." Eddie chuckles. You nod kissing him again.

"OK I'm here to and eddies here to see me right now y/n so shoo." Dustin says pointing to the door at the kitchen. You groan and pull away from Eddie's warm embrace. "Here" Eddie says giving you his hoodie he had on the kitchen side. You smile and kiss his cheek and take it happily before exiting the kitchen.

"And stay out!" Dustin calls behind you. Eddie looks over at him "what?" HE askes Eddie noticing his disapproving look.

"She's still my girlfriend even when I hang out with you." Eddie says raising his brows.

Dustin scoffs again "Common let's go to my room I wanna show you my new comics." Dustin says guiding Eddie out of the kitchen. Eddie nods and follows Dustin. Walking to Dustins room Eddie sees your bedroom door open and peaks in. Your sat at your desk drawing something.

"Whatcha drawing?" Eddie askes curiously making you jump.

"Jesus Eddie you scared me." You says calming yourself " 'm drawing a window but it's open ans the curtains are flying outside n the windows like smashed n stuff." You answer his question. Eddie nods and smiles at you.

"You my boyfriend again yet or still one of dustins sad little friends?" You ask smirking. Before he can answer Dustin calls his name.

"That should answer your question." HE chuckles walking away from your room to dustins.

-

"Yes well I have to see my girlfriend now." Eddie says approaching your room.

"But why she's so boring." Dustin protests.

"Alright dude I was here from 6 pm yesterday playing d&d n I didn't speak to her once. I stayed still didn't. At 12 pm she woke up and I spoke to her. Then you got her to go. Then when I was talking to her 5 minutes later you summond me again. Its now 5:30 pm and I wanna see my girlfriend. I'll hang with you inna bit or tomorrow OK?" Eddie answers as calmly as he can

He loves Dustin but he just couldn't talk to you. You walked to dustins room to see if he or Eddie wanted a drink as you was making yourself a coffee and dustin told you to get out.

"OK fine but you have to watch scream with me." Dustin says. Eddie nods knocking on your bedroom door. You open it and smile at the sight of Eddie.

"You finally been set free?" You ask giggling.

"God I'm still stood here." Dustin says stomping off. You roll your eyes and let Eddie Into your room. He flops onto your bed and you crawl up him kissing him sweetly when you Reach his lips then laying next to him.

"I don't see why Dustin hates me. All I do is try." You say putting your head on Eddie's chest. Eddie knows it upsets you when Dustin treats you like crap. You're his older sister and do a lot for him, but Eddie will admit he does treat you like shit sometimes.

You and Eddie have spoke about it before when it's been bothering you so you know you can talk to him now. Eddie kisses your head. "Honestly babe I think it's purely because we're dating. He will get over it eventually. Like I said just give him time." Eddie says closing his eyes relaxing.

"Yeah your right." You mumble back. You lay like that for a while as you both drift off into sleep. Eddie's arm around you. Your head on the side of his chest his heart is and your arm across his chest. Your legs entangled at the bottom of the bed.

-

Dustin bursts into your room without knocking making Eddie jump out of his peaceful sleep. Only to throw his head back when he sees Dustin stood in the doorway.

"Yes Dustin?" Eddie askes whipping his hand over his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Dustin askes Eddie frowning

"Well I was cuddled up with your sister asleep but now I'm awake talking to you. What's up?" Eddie askes again wanting to know what Dustin needed to urgently.

"Wanted to put the movie on common I've got our snacks out and stuff." Dustin says bouncing on his feet. Eddie lays on your bed in slight defeat. He either goes with Dustin leaving you and when you wake up you'll be upset or he can tell Dustin he can't resulting in an annoyed Dustin.

"What if I wake y/n up and see if she wants to watch it with us?" HE askes dustin

"What no you said YOU would watch it with my all you two will do is make out and its bro time not hoe time." Dustin says crossing his arms.

"Don't call your sister a hoe." Eddie says running his hand up your back. Eddie slips himself away from your sleeping body not wanting to wake you and goes into the living room with Dustin. Dustins buzzing he puts the movie on and sits next to Eddie opening the popcorn.

-

30 minutes later you wake up and notice Eddie isn't by your side. You frown and rub your eyes walking out of your bedroom. You walk to the bathroom and the doors wide open. You use the bathroom and wash your hands then you hear the TV. You walk into the living room seeing scream on the TV and both the boys on the couch.

"Eds?" You say quietly behind them. Both there heads turn to you. Eddie smiles and dustin rolls his eyes. "Whyd you leave?" You ask stretching your arms up.

"Cause he wanted to watch the movie with me." Dustin answers for Eddie. "You should've woken me up I would've came and watched it with you guys." You say crossing your arms looking at the boys with a soft expression.

"We wanted to watch the movie not you sit there making out with Eddie. It's bro time." Dustin says shoving his mouth full of popcorn. Eddie's head turns to you. He sees the look of hurt in your face. Your bottom lip wobbles and you nod. "Kay ill um ill go." You say hugging yourself as you walk off.

"Good." Dustin says through his mouthful of food. Eddie's pissed he was annoyed before but now he's pissed.

"To far." Eddie says looking at dustin

"What?" Dustin says confused

"To fucking far. I get she's your sister and I'm your friend but she's still my girlfriend. I've been dating her longer then I've properly known you Henderson. You've been in hellfire 7 months I've been dating your sister nearly 2 years. I get its annoying but if you don't like it you shouldn't have become as close with me as you have. We wouldn't of made out the hole time. She could've come and sat with us. She could've stayed in the kitchen with us. She could've come to see your comics to. I'm sure she would love that. But you treat her like shit. I've been nice you know cause I Dont want you to hate me cause you are my friend. And I don't want your mum to think bad of me. But she's my girlfriend n I don't let my other friends talk about her like that so you don't either. I'm gonna go make sure she's OK cause I'm gonna go with you didn't see her upset when she walked off." Eddie snapped at Dustin before he got up and walked to your bedroom.

Dustin was slightly shocked by eddies outburst. But Eddie didn't care he walked to your room. He said hello to your mun who was in the kitchen on his walk room.

"I'm sorry for snapping at Dustin aswell I'm justa little annoyed at how much he snaps at y/n." Eddie says not wanting your mum to suddenly hate him.

"Your fine Eddie just go make sure she's OK ill talk to dusty." She says smiling Eddie nods and goes to your room. He knocks and doesn't get an answer so he knocks again. "Go away." You mumble from the otherside of the door.

"Babe let me in. Don't make me climb through your window. I'll do it no hesitation." Eddie half jokes just wanting you to open the door. Which you do so he succeeded. You smile smally at him. "Want a hug?" HE askes hugging you. You nod and cling to him. He holds you just as tight as you cry slightly.

"Baby why are you crying?" Eddie askes kissing your head. You pull your face away from him slightly smiling at him. "Cause I heard what you said to Dustin. N i loved that you defended me even though you didn't need to. N then you apologised to my mum. N i was like. Holy shit I love him so much." You cried smiling as Eddie pulled you back in.

"Don't care. No one speaks to my girl infront of me like that don't care who they are." Eddie says. You stay holding eachother for a few before Eddie takes you to the living room.

"Let's clear this up. You don't be mean to her no more. Sure have your sibling banter or whatever but don't talk to her like you was or imma disown you. And you, you need to stop just walking off when he upsets you and tell him. OK right. New plan. Dustin if I'm here for D&D I'm here for you if I stay over after I stay with you I help you tidy up and whatever you wanna do with me we do then cause once I'm with y/n I'm not gonna stop hanging out with my girlfriend ok? Unless its like a movie or something we can all watch it even your mum can join. You need to stop being weird about the whole us dating thing it didn't effect you until you joined hellfire. Now let's all sit down and finish the movie." Eddie says as he pulls you to sit next to him.

"I didn't know I was upsetting you y/n I'm really sorry" Dustin says with sincerity in his voice.

"It's OK Dustin. I get its weird that me and Eddie are dating cause he's your friend but we've Been together a while you know so you just gotta deal with it really." You giggle sitting up. You hug Dustin for a second so he knows everything is OK.

Then you lay into Eddie's side as he wraps and arms around you kissing your head. "I love you." HE mumbles into your head. "I love you too." You smile up at him.

-

Once movie finished you and Eddie went to dustins room so he could show YOU all his new comics and stuff. Eventually he let you and Eddie go free. Your mom said Eddie could stay over again as he was respectful (to her atleast) so you both headed to your room and crawled and your duvets cuddling eachother.

"Missed my girl." HE mumbles.

"Missed you too babe." You hum back.

"Hopefully its all better now." Eddie says kissing your neck.

"Trust me I think its better all ready." You smile at his kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

"Edward you actual bitch."

"Is someone to sleepy for the I love you battle."

"Yes now cuddle me and show me how you love me more."

And he does just that until your both out cold.

-

Safe to say Eddie's little speech worked cause you woke the next day to Eddie and dustin in the kitchen and as you enter Dustin smiled at you and said nothing about you being immediately clingy with Eddie. You'd woken up just in need of his skin contact so you hugged him for a while even while he made your coffee.

That day you all went to the arcade and actually had fun with Dustin for the first time in a while. You held Eddie's hand with no gagging noises and you were happy.

"I love you." You kiss Eddie as Dustin plays whatever game he's playing. It breaks Eddie's focus on the game and it goes straight to you. He then kisses you back. "I love you too." HE says, snaking a hand around your waist eyes, going back on the game Dustins playing.

"I love you more." You smirk.

"OH you getting revenge for last night huh?" HE turns back to you smiling and you nod smirking. "Mk let's stay at the trailer tonight n ill show you how much more I love you." HE whispers in your ear. Your haw drops as Eddie smirks looking back at dustins game telling him to do something.

You stood shocked as Eddie's hand squeezed your hip he was still smirking....

Boy were you excited for tonight.

[creepling]

NSFW ALPHABET - DIGGER HARKNESS/CAPTAIN BOOMERANG

requested by @sweetnsaltyclussy. template cred @the-coldest-goodbye. mdni banner cred @cafekitsune.

tags. smut - MINORS DNI. digger harkness x gn!reader. switchy digger at times but mostly dom. deals with a lot of things but inolves themes of scentplay, exhibitionism, and rough sex.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Either gets sleepy or can go another round, there is no in-between. On the times he doesn’t pass out (and makes you cum multiple times), he takes a piss, runs you a bath and carries you around the house. When he passes out, he invites you to sleep in his arms. His head anchors your chest, snuggled into you like you’re a pillow, and you're trapped in that position until the morning. 

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Tits or ass man? Why not both? This man fucks like his life depends on it. He worships your body and has perfect access to every inch of you when you’re sitting on his lap. His hands grabbing your ass, his mouth kissing, biting, licking your chest and neck. The most taboo body part he likes is the armpits. Inhaling your scent and kissing down your sides, tasting your sweat, the nasty fucker can’t get enough of it.

The most obvious answer for his favourite body part of himself may be obvious, but I don’t think it’s his dick. I say this because he didn’t act smug when Deadshot commented on it. He wasn’t aware it was above average until later in life when he began having sexual partners. He thinks people are overreacting. His favourite part of himself is his chest and arms, mostly due to his tattoos. He’s proud of them and the story they tell. The way to win his heart is by stroking his arms and palming his chest.

But may I suggest your favourite body part on Digger? His nose – riding on it. That’s all I’ll say.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He can shoot a load. It’s thick and white and comes in large quantities. He likes tasting his cum too, especially when kissing you or eating you out after finishing in/on you. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Pantie sniffer!!! It’s an addiction at this point, and his ‘dirty secret’ was outed very early in your relationship. He is not so discreet about it, sometimes asking you directly for your underwear after sex or when you undress for a shower. Bonus points if he can make you cum in them and keep them afterwards.

Another one is that he fantasises about being a swinger. Fucking multiple people at the one time, not knowing who he’s fucking or who is pleasuring him. He was close to doing it during his bachelor days but chickened out at the last minute. He is too afraid to bring it up to you in case you think it’s him saying he’s not interested in you anymore. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Digger has had his fair share of sexual encounters, most of the body count accumulating in his twenties. During his time in Arkham, his sex life fizzled out, but his drive was unrelenting. Being with you is his way of unleashing the desires pent up in him, and he can get a little carried away. He fucks you fast with long, hard strokes, hands taking fistfuls of your hair or imprinting your skin. His endurance is unwithering. Do you think he’s out of breath or needs to slow down? You thought wrong. You have to remind him not to get carried away at the moment, and just one look at you brings him back to humanity. Sorry, love, ‘couldn’t help myself.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Digger is into anything that involves you sprawled out on a surface. That being a kitchen counter, desk, etc. He also likes fucking you against a wall with one of your legs hooked around his arm. Mostly positions that have you facing towards him and beneath him, so your body can take him fully and cling onto him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He is not deliberately humorous, but sometimes his Aussie slang gives you the ick, especially when he refers to his balls as ‘goolies’ or calls his dick a ‘donger’ or ‘old fella’. He tries to avoid them while having sex, but he slips up now and then. 

If you think goolies is bad, we also call ‘em jazz crackers.

Please, just shut up.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He is in the in-between when it comes to hairiness. Like this chest hair, the rest of his body hair is light and sparse, giving the illusion he has none at all. His pubic and ass hair is where it’s the most coarse, fading up into a snail trail and light flicks on his ass cheeks. He doesn’t pay much attention to grooming. Since his hair is light, he prefers keeping what is there.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

He’s no Mr Romantic, but with the right person, he can go slow and steady, take a break from the ‘fucking’ for ‘lovemaking’, and remind himself he is capable of love if he allows himself to. That is only if he can muster it. Growing up in an unloving family, he struggles with displaying affection. When you are intimate with him, it’s as if he forgets how to move or talk. The feeling of his heart growing heavy is alien, and he recoils at first until he feels the warmth of your body, the light kisses on his face. No longer is he driven by a primal sex drive, this time the feeling is everlasting. He slowly eased himself into your nurture, soothed by your words. All you do is repeat, I love you, I love you, but it’s enough to move him to tears. So simple, it’s the bare minimum, but it means the world to him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

It is second nature to Digger, and it was his only form of pleasure in the Arkham years. One day his hand was not doing it for him, growing so used to it that it became useless. He looked around his cell, thinking about humping the pillow, until he spotted Pinky perched next to him. He lifts his beloved plushie and takes a while to debate his idea. Then eventually said, Fuck it. He only did it one time, and he couldn’t sleep with his beloved unicorn for a week after out of guilt. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He probably has plenty of kinks, but here are the main contenders. Digger gets off at the thought of getting caught. Touching you in public areas where someone can spot you at any time is his dream scenario. If you do get caught, he performs to the peeping tom, teasing you with his words. Looks like someone else thinks you’re hot stuff. 

Digger is a bordering alcoholic and has been known to take drugs. Intoxicated sex isn’t somewhat of a voluntary kink but it comes with being with him. He knows what certain things to take to make sex feel good, and what to avoid that kills his libido.

Dare I say he is probably into roleplaying as well? He loves seeing you in costume, something skimpy and showing your best physical qualities. He doesn’t always commit to the scenario but will always relish how good you look in certain types of clothing. He particularly likes maid dresses, watching you bend over and clean as a form of foreplay.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do)

He loves car sex. The clumsiness, the restricted space, and having the car parked on a busy street. The steamy windows hide you from the public, but Digger will tease about wiping the condensation for everyone to see you (and do it if you consent). He also likes alleyways. If you go out for a drink and he’s dying to get in your pants, he will pull you into the dark, dingy lane because he can’t help himself. Bonus points if it’s raining, seeing you wet and bothered while he licks the raindrops dripping from your jawline. Getting you on your knees to suck his dick, your body concealed by a trashcan so you’re not seen by passers-by. The dirtier, the better.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Digger knows he is really into someone he likes their smell. He appreciates perfumes and colognes, but it is natural scents that turn him on. An artificial scent mixed with your musk, sweetening it for his pleasure. It urges him to taste you, bury his face into the crook of your neck and suffocate his senses.

He will also be turned on at the mere fact that someone is into him. If he can sense you getting flustered around him he will hound you like a dog. Face it, you want to see what old Digger’s all about. If you are submissive, he will be persistent, doing anything to push you over the edge and admit your feelings for him. He will take enjoyment out of how shy you get, showering you with compliments and become aroused as you unwind beneath him. He is also partial to being a power bottom, toying with your sexual confidence, and doing anything to get your attention. No matter his stance, if he’s turned on, he will always have that shit-eating grin on his face.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Digger outright refuses to hurt you, even if he has his loopholes. He likes spanking, biting, and roughhousing, but he will not slap, punch or tie you up. This is deep-rooted into his childhood, and some of the abuse has embedded into his kinks, but there are still actions that cause flashes of bad memories. He also doesn’t like to see you cry. If you don’t give him the safe word, he will continue but go slow and soothe you, kissing the tears and stroking your face. It’s alright, love, I’ve got ya. Cheer up for me, lemmie see that pretty smile.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He finds enjoyment on both sides. Giving is when he can have you at his mercy, liking the way you flush and squirm in his mouth and hands. He gets a kick out of making you orgasm and holds it against you, being all smug about it. Receiving is when all the attention is on him and he gives you all the praise, letting you know how well you take his cock, and how good you make him feel. He loves training your mouth for his massive size, encouraging you to take as much as you can, holding your face in place as he drools at the cock-hungry look in your fluttering eyes. That alone is enough to have him finish in your mouth, letting his hot cum stream down your throat and swallow every last drop.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough, for sure. His roughness bleeds through depending on the day. If he’s had a rough time, or a robbery goes wrong, or he hasn’t seen you in months, he fucks you like it’s his last day on earth.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He pretends it’s not his thing, but it is definitely his thing. He is sex-driven, especially when you are in range. It is very common for both of you to disappear from a mission or a social setting just to release tension. Stroking his bulge or flashing a part of your body is enough for him to pull you aside and fuck his cum into you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Consider Digger a ‘Yes Man’ when it comes to experimenting. This man will try anything that doesn’t exceed his limits. He is the one to suggest more than you are. Some of his suggestions you’re convinced he has invented himself, and some are so bizarre you don’t know if he is joking or not. Better to try everything at least once, is his motto.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

If you make it certain you are one hundred per cent into him, Digger can last a whole night. There have been times were he exceeds you in rounds and (depending on your mood) you let him fuck you on the brink of sleep. He has Superman levels of sexual stamina and it can be difficult to match his energy, but he is more than satisfied to have another orgasm at the mere sight of you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Digger is partial to a cock ring, more for convenience. It comes in handy for days when he wants to edge himself and make the orgasm more pleasurable. If you have toys, he is more than happy to use them. He would be very invested in which ones you own, and give you new ones to try out.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Digger is the teasing master when it comes to words, taunting you with anything dirty that comes to his mind. In action, he gets too excited and wants to make you cum when you’re ready to, and fuck another one out of you. When you are teasing him, he acts like it's torture, but he is so into it. If you pull your hand away from his dick just as he is about to finish, he is almost screaming but gets too turned on. He loves the feeling of the build-up and will treat you like a brat or plead with you to keep touching him. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Certified grunter. He sounds like an animal. His voice grows hoarse matched with heavy breathing. In downtime moments like oral, his sounds are more like groans with sly chuckles.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

On more than one occasion Digger has suggested a gangbang or cucking with the other members of the suicide squad. He has a plan in his head of the routine and how it would go down. If it was you and Harley, he wants to cuck and watch you fuck. If it’s with Deadshot or King Shark, he would want a threesome/gangbang. When Digger brings this up he passes it off as a joke, but you can tell it’s something he wants to do.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

The canon speaks for itself. In my opinion, however, Digger is just above average, around 6-7 inches. He makes up the rest in girth. Also, the canon suggests he is not a ‘grower, not show-er’ type. What you see is what you get.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Inhumanly high. The man needs to be sterilised.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Considering he has come multiple times like he usually does, he is falling asleep right away. He is not the post-nut clarity type because he manages to pass out before that stage. He saves the pillow talk for the morning.

[fairybin]

taehyun nsfw alphabet

pairing: taehyun x afab reader

genre: smut

warnings: 18+ content under the cut. minors do not interact!

word count: 1.1k

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

taehyun is very smug after sex and likes to play around almost as if he didn’t just ruin your body in ways unknown. he’ll probably just lay in bed with you until you need to get up or fall asleep, holding onto you and stroking his hands up and down your sides.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

taehyun seems like a chest guy, even though everyone thinks he’s an ass guy. something about just getting a mouthful of your chest and nipples gets him hot. his favorite part of his body is his mouth. taehyun definitely knows how to use his tongue and teeth on you.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

have you guys seen taehyun pictures? he’s packing a lot in his pants, so of course he has to accommodate for his size. i feel like taehyun likes to cum in your mouth more, but if you’ll let him, he’ll definitely cum inside you.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

taehyun will never let anyone know this but he likes hentai video and he uses them to get off after a long day of practice or schedules. he’ll lock his dorm room door and get comfortable into bed, sliding his hand into his pants before he even pulls up a good video. once he finds the one he wants, he plugs his headphones in and goes to work until he’s cumming.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i don’t think taehyun has officially had sex with someone, but i feel like when he does, he’ll know exactly what to do with them and their body. i do feel like he’ll get really good at sex really fast when he finds the right person.

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

taehyun literally foams at the mouth doing doggy. lhe likes being in control of your hips and how fast you’re going. if you have a mirror in the room that you’re having sex in, expect for taehyun to make you look at yourself and how he’s fucking you.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

taehyun will joke around a lot with you during sex. if you’re trying to tap out from how good he feels inside you, he’ll laugh and say something annoyingly cute like “you can’t take anymore? i’m fucking you so good that you can’t take it?” and it’ll make you both laugh. but there will definitely be moments where he’s more serious.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

taehyun probably has some hair, but it’s trimmed. i doubt it’s a complete forest down there but it’s probably cut down.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

taehyun will joke around often during sex, but he’s still romantic. if you really can’t take it, he’ll pull out and hold you until you’re ready again, or if you’re not ready, he’ll understand and help you clean up, giving you kisses all over. he also likes to be close to you during sex, so he’ll hold you tight while he’s inside you.

j = jack off (masturbation)

taehyun comes off to me as someone who masturbates as much as they can (haven’t yall seen the video of him with his hand literally just chilling in his pants?) anytime he has free private time, his fingers are wrapped around his dick, pumping up and down. if he has time, he’ll call you and listen to your voice while he’s going at it.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

hear me out...orgasm play. taehyun is 100% a dom and being able to control when you cum makes his head spin. he’ll flick and lick on your pussy until he knows you’re close, then just as you’re about to cum, he’ll stop and laugh like the little shit he is. if you start complaining about him stopping, he’ll completely take himself out of you until you’re begging him to put it back in like the little shit he is.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

i don’t think taehyun would take the risk to have sex anyplace outside the bedroom just in case he gets caught, but if he’s absolutely desperate to get his dick wet, he might sneak off with you into public bathrooms and have you on your knees for him or he’ll pull you onto the sink and suck you off.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

taehyun likes your moaning. hearing you scream and groan out from the pleasure he’s giving you does something to his head and makes him want to go faster and deeper.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i don’t think taehyun is into bringing other people into the bedroom with you. he wants to be the only person making you feel good. if you asked to have a threesome, he might agree but he wouldn’t be the one to recommend it.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

taehyun likes giving. hearing how you react to him gets him hot and bothered and he knows what he’s doing. he’s really good with his tongue and knows all the places that will make you squirm.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends on your position. if you’re doing doggy, taehyun will grab onto your hips and go to town, going back and forth at an insane pace. if you’re on the bottom facing him, he might go slower just to look at you and your face to kiss you, with the occasional deep stroke just for the laughs.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

taehyun probably doesn’t want to do quickies that much since he doesn’t really want to risk getting caught if you’re having public sex, so the opportunity for a quickie doesn’t really come often. when you do have the rare quickie, he’ll definitely make it quick, no longer than 10 minutes.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

other than public sex, i think taehyun would be down for anything if you asked for it. if you want fire play, sure. if you want to be tied up, okay. taehyun lives to please you, so he wouldn’t say no.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i just know that taehyun can go for a while, without getting tired. i think he can probably have three or four rounds in one night back-to-back if his partner can take it. if not, then he’d probably finish the job by himself, jerking iff until he cums.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

taehyun has the remote control panties to use on his partner. if you’re out together and you’re giving him attitude, he’ll just take his phone out and turn it to the highest setting until you’re behaving again (actually this’ll be closest to public sex as he’ll get).

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

do i even need to say it? taehyun is the biggest tease there is. unless you call out your safe word, to him it’s full reign. he won’t even stop when you’re screaming with tears running down your face.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

taehyun seems like more of a groaner to me, like not completely moaning but also not silent either. he’ll definitely whisper under his breathe when you’re sucking his dick and when he’s fucking you. he doesn’t seem to be that loud though.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

“i don’t think we should be doing this right here babe.” he spoke out, looking around at the street of cafes and shops. you two had walked off of the main road until you reached a closed off alleyway. “taehyun just relax and trust me,” you whispered into his ear as you trailed kisses down his body until you reached his bottoms and pulled them down. you took his dick in your hands, pumping him a few times. you left a tiny kiss on the tip then slipped him entirely into your mouth. taehyun’s hands wrapped around your neck guiding you as you bobbed your head back and forth. “fuck baby, you’re so good taking my cock,” he breathed out. you looked up at his face, the saliva from sucking him dripping down the side of your mouth. taehyun looked down at you for a second, seeing what happened, then lifted you up, pulling you into a deep kiss, tasting himself on your tongue.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

i just know taehyun has a big dick. he’s definitely not the biggest in txt but he has the girth and width to keep up with the other members.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think taehyun isn’t absolutely crazy for sex, but he wants to have sex whenever you want to and whenever it’s convenient for the both of you. however, when he’s horny, he’s horny and needs to relieve himself, whether he has sex with you or if he has to masturbate. either way, he’ll get what he needs.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

taehyun won’t fall asleep until he’s showered. he doesn’t want to be sticky when he wakes up. even if he’s super tired, he’ll at least get a damp towel and wipe himself off before he can sleep.

written by fairybin. no copying, reposting, rewriting, or translating of any kind.

[toournextadventure]

movie night drabble i

Summary: The ever elusive Tara Carpenter finally makes her appearance at your brother's frat party. Maybe you'll kiss. Okay, you'll definitely kiss.

Word Count: 3.1k Warnings: swearing, smut 18+, underage drinking, slight violence Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader A/N: I got a little more goofy with R in this one because I wanted to try something a little different with my writing, so I hope y'all enjoy! movie night i | movie night ii | movie night iii

"Hey," your brother Alfie shouted over the music blaring throughout the frat house. "Carpenter's here."

You turned so quickly you spilled the vodka from your cup onto your shirt.

"Ah fuck," you mumbled, dropping the now-empty cup without a care in the world. Not like it was your frat house, why should you keep it clean?

You promptly bent down to pick it back up. Your Ma raised you better than that.

"Where is she?" You asked, once again searching for any sign of the younger Carpenter girl.

"You don't see her?" He was teasing you. It was evident by the stupid, smug look on his ugly mug.

"She's 5 foot nothin’, no I don't see her," you argued back.

“Over there,” Alfie pointed, and you followed his finger as best as you could.

“Where are you pointing your crooked ass finger?” You asked.

“See Frankie?” He asked in frustration. As if it was your fault he had crooked, broken fingers. “She’s talkin’ to him.”

“Ah shit,” you mumbled when you spotted Frankie and, finally, Tara. “Take my cup.”

You didn’t wait for him to agree before shoving the cup into his arms and making your way through the crowded frat house. As much as you wanted to see Tara, you didn’t want to see her with fucking Frankie. No one was worse than that prick. You and Alfie were pricks too, but at least you both stayed respectful. Frankie just wanted to get his rocks off with whatever girl gave him the chance.

Unfortunately, it looked like Tara might be that girl.

He was standing a little too close for comfort by the time you finally shoved your way past everyone. That annoying little voice in your head reminded you that Tara wasn’t yours and you had no right to her. And that voice was correct! But that didn’t mean you were going to stand aside and let fucking Frankie get his greasy hands on her.

“Hey Frankie,” you said with an obnoxious smile and a painfully hard clap on his shoulder. “How ya doin’?”

“Hey,” he said without even looking at you.

“Hi Tara,” you said far softer and with a much more genuine smile. At least you hoped it was, you were starting to feel a bit of that vodka settling in.

Tara opened her mouth to answer before being cut off by Frankie. “Need something?”

Think of something good.

“Yeah, actually,” you said with a shrug, “but we might wanna talk in private.”

“Just tell me now, Street Rat,” he said quickly. “I’m busy.”

Think of something good.

“It’s just,” you sighed, “I wanna make sure you get yourself checked out, man.”

“For what?”

“I was just talking with Skye earlier and she said she got the clap,” you said with a shrug. “I know you two are fuck buddies so you should probably watch out.”

“You serious?” He asked, suddenly standing up and looking far more furious as he crushed his beer in his hand.

“I’m doin’ you a solid, man-”

“-you gonna say this shit in front of Carpenter?” He asked, now standing toe-to-toe with you. Admittedly you may have underestimated his reaction to such a ploy. Should’ve come up with something less good.

“Dude chill, I told you we should talk in private-”

“-didn’t tell me it was about the fucking clap.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be tryin’ to fuck every girl that looks at you.”

You heard the crack below your eye before you felt it, a painful punch spiderwebbing across your cheekbone and eye. Nothing you hadn’t felt before, but Frankie could pack a punch when needed. Tears instantly pricked at your eyes as you recaught your balance and stood up, trying to blink away the pain. And tears. And humiliation.

“Say it again, Street Rat,” Frankie said.

“Hey, that’s enough,” Tara tried to say, doing her best to stand in between the both of you. Not that it mattered, she was too short. It was pretty cute, actually. “Y/N, let’s go.”

Don’t say it.

“You’re a man whore, dude,” you said anyway. He clenched his jaw tighter. “A man whore with the clap.”

You moved Tara out of the way and braced yourself when Frankie lifted his fist again. Thankfully he had dropped the beer can; you could already feel something warm trickling down the side of your face. If he was going to hit you then he needed to do it like a man, not with a weapon. Pop always said only cowards used weapons against unarmed men.

Maybe you should have been a coward.

The punch never came. When you re-opened your eyes, you saw Alfie standing there in between the both of you, creating the buffer Tara had tried and failed to become. His back was to you but you could tell by the square set of his shoulders that he was tense. And pissed. Oh god, he was pissed.

“Go home, Frankie,” Alfie said in his heavy Bronx accent. Like most everyone in the family, it came out more when he was tense. Or angry. Oh, he was angry.

“Not until I get an apology,” Frankie said as he pointed to you. “To my face.”

“Not my fault you’re collectin’ STDs like they’re fuckin’ Pokemon, man,” you said back. Shut up!

“Come here-”

“-enough!” Alfie shouted, pushing you both back. Not that you needed the encouragement, your cheek was still throbbing from the first punch. “Get the fuck out, Frankie.”

“I’ll be back for you, Street Rat,” Frankie said with a finger pointed at you. Like the mature adult you were, you stuck your tongue out at him before giving him your best New Yorker smile.

“Now,” Alfie insinuated with a push on Frankie’s chest, guiding him to the front door.

With one more look at you, Frankie finally made his way out of the frat house, pushing past whoever was unfortunate enough to be in his way. He was barely out of sight before you felt a hard slap against your stomach, forcing you to double over. You felt like you were going to puke. Maybe you would.

“Quit startin’ fights, you moron,” Alfie said as he grabbed your shoulders and stood you up straight again. “I’m gettin’ real tired of defending your sorry ass.”

“Pop always said I was a slow learner,” you said, your own accent coming out just enough to irritate you. With a slight scowl, you focused harder on your words. “I’m sorry.”

“Better be,” he said with a sigh. Finally, he turned his head to look at Tara. “You good, doll?”

“I’m fine,” she said with a shrug.

“Be careful with Frankie,” he continued. “He’s a real prick.”

“He’s a-”

“-not a word from you,” Alfie interrupted you with another slap to the shoulder. “You started this whole mess.”

“Coulda finished it too if you gave me the chance,” you said, rubbing your now sore shoulder and still trying not to puke from the blow to the stomach. Maybe those fireball shots weren’t necessary.

“Would you mind taking our little menace upstairs and cleaning the blood off?” Alfie asked Tara. “I’d appreciate it.”

Tara looked at you at the suggestion, really looked at you. Just that one look from her was enough to have your heart beating out of your chest like a Loony Toons character. Oh what you wouldn’t give to have her look at you all the time, whether in malice or admiration or love. Just to have her eyes on you would be enough to leave you happy and content until the day you died.

“Fine,” she said with a sigh, reaching forward to grab your hand. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t test her,” Alfie whispered to you as Tara pulled you away.

You just wiggled your brows suggestively at him, to which he promptly threw his hands up in defeat.

Tara led you throughout the frat house as if she had lived there her entire life. It was almost amusing to see someone so small moving through the crowd without any trouble, as if people knew there was a child among them and they needed to make sure not to step on it. Wait, maybe you shouldn’t be comparing her to a child. But, come on, she was small enough.

By the time you both managed to stumble up the two flights of stairs to the third floor, you were very much starting to feel the alcohol and the bruise that was blooming across your cheek. It was going to smart, that was for sure. Tara pushed you into Alfie’s room - by pure coincidence, surely - and shut the door behind her, locking it promptly.

“You’re a prick,” she said the moment she turned back around to look at you.

“I was protectin’ you,” you said, taking a deep breath in and exhaling slowly to ease the accent. “Frankie’s a prick and you know it.”

“I didn’t need protecting,” she groaned. “I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

“You wanna get the clap, be my guest,” you said with a shrug.

“Does he really have it?” Tara asked doubtfully.

You closed your mouth and looked off at Alfie’s closet. If you didn’t look at her, maybe she wouldn’t force you to answer. Even with the music pounding through the walls, you heard her sigh. You shouldn’t have lied, that annoying little voice in your head said. Sometimes you hated your subconscious; it was usually right.

Tara’s hand gripping your jaw made you flinch, which then made the throbbing in your cheek resume once again. Say what you wanted about Frankie, but he could pack a punch. Probably would’ve been better to just leave him be. But then Tara pulled your chin to face her, and you were instantly reassured that no, you absolutely should’ve gotten him to leave.

“He cut your cheek,” she said as her eyes left yours to look at the wounds that adorned your face. “Have anything to clean it with?”

“Here,” you said, leaning back just enough to pull your shirt over your head. Tara’s eyes went wide before she did her best to look anywhere but at you.

“Please put your shirt back on,” she said, still not looking at you.

“It’s got vodka on it anyway,” you said as you shoved the shirt into her hands. “Nature’s disinfectant.”

“It-,” she turned to look at you incredulously. “Are you stupid?”

“Depends on who’s asking,” you said with a grin. “Just clean it already, I’m braced.”

Tara shook her head slowly, but grabbed your jaw once again to hold you still. Her hand was soft; incredibly soft, actually. Depending on how she held you, you could almost see that scar of hers. An angry pink that looked like it didn’t really want to finish healing. She probably needed to put some cream on it, maybe you could ask your Ma for a bit of advice.

You hissed when she dabbed the vodka drenched shirt on your cheek. Oh, now you remembered why it wasn’t a good idea. It got the job done, sure, but it hurt like a sonofabitch. But you squared your shoulders and stayed still until she was done dabbing it. Even though it seemed like she was cleaning it a little more forcefully than necessary.

“Does Frankie actually have the clap?” Tara asked again while she finished up.

“Have you slept with him?” You asked in return. She gave you a frown before looking back at your cheek.

“No.”

“Then yes he does,” you said with a nod. “Plus a few others, he’s like a breeding ground for ‘em.”

“You’re disgusting,” she sighed before straightening up.

“Listen, if you wanted to get laid tonight, you could’ve always asked me,” you said with a shrug. You hoped it came off as nonchalant, even though you were totally chalant about it. Was that even a word?

“What makes you think I would want to sleep with you?” Tara asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. It didn’t distract you from noticing the slightest flush to her cheeks.

“Because you think I’m sexy,” you said in a sing-songy voice, “and you wanna kiss me.”

“Anyone ever told you you’re annoying?” She asked.

She did not, however, stop you from reaching out to grab her by the hips and pull her until she was standing between your legs. Even when you were sitting she was barely taller than you. Her arms uncrossed so she could rest her hands on your bare shoulders, causing you to shiver lightly. You were going to blame it on the alcohol.

“You can call me whatever you want,” you said, your eyes darting down to look at her lips. “As long as you call me.”

“This is only because I’m drunk,” Tara said, her own eyes looking at your lips. Bingo.

“Of course,” you said as your thumbs slipped under her shirt and rubbed her hips lightly.

“And if you tell anyone, I’ll kill you,” she continued.

“Naturally," you agree.

The alcohol coursed through you, leaving a heat in its wake. But it was nothing compared to the inferno you felt in your core when Tara practically surged forward to kiss you. She wasted no time parting her lips for you, letting you taste every inch of her. She tasted of cheap beer and lemonade; surprisingly unsurprising.

"Were you smoking?" She asked as she pulled away; you chased her, leaving a trail of kisses across her jaw. "You smell like smoke."

"Which answer gets me laid?" You asked between kisses.

"You're insufferable," she groaned.

She pushed against your shoulders until you fell back against the bed. Almost instantly, she climbed on top of you, straddling your stomach and placing her hands on your ribs. Her nails were short, but still long enough to scratch your skin lightly, sending another shiver through your body. It was a nice feeling. Painfully nice.

“Don’t try to romance me,” Tara said as she looked down at you; her pupils were blown and she looked absolutely beautiful.

“Just a fuck?” You clarified.

“A quick one,” she said with a nod.

“Clothes off?” You asked.

“On,” she corrected.

“Yes ma’am,” you said quickly before letting your hands push under her shirt, nails lightly scratching across her skin until you felt the underwire of her bra.

You waited, watching her to make sure she consented. The alcohol may have been clouding your judgment ever so slightly, but you weren’t Frankie. When Tara looked at you and nodded, you wasted no time in pushing her bra above her breasts. The moment your knuckles brushed against her nipples, her head slowly fell back and she exhaled sharply through her nose.

That inferno in your core only grew hotter when you rolled her nipple between your thumb and forefinger and her hips stuttered against your stomach. Oh it was a beautiful sight, to see Tara lose even the slightest bit of her composure from such a small gesture. You did it again and had to bite your lip to keep yourself from groaning at the movement of her hips.

“Don’t tease,” she said breathlessly, her nails digging deeper into your ribs. A stunning sting that you hoped would leave marks.

“As you wish,” you said in reply.

One of your hands stayed right where it was, brushing lightly against her nipple just to see her shiver. Your other hand moved down, unbuttoning her jeans with surprising ease that you blamed on nothing more than the alcohol. With nothing else in your way, you effortlessly slipped your hand under the waistband of her underwear, letting out a humiliating moan when you felt just how wet she was.

“Jesus, Tara,” you said breathlessly as you ran your fingers through her folds before stopping on her clit.

“Just shut up,” she said between clenched teeth.

It was an uncomfortable position for your hand to be in, though you wouldn’t change it for the world. Your wrist was at an awkward angle, you couldn’t do much, and there wasn’t much room to move. But that didn’t mean much when Tara was doing most of the work for you, rutting her hips against your hand as if you were good for one thing and one thing only.

“Don’t move,” she gasped, confirming your suspicions. You didn’t really care.

“Fuck,” you groaned as you watched her move, her nails finally splitting your skin ever so slightly. It wouldn’t bleed, but there would be red marks for the next few days. 

Even though Tara wasn’t touching you, there was something satisfying about watching her get herself off on your fingers. Seeing her eyes squeeze shut and her mouth fall open when she hit just the right spot. Feeling how wet she was and how effortlessly she could rut against your fingers. No shame, no regrets, just the pleasure of the moment.

God it was hot.

You watched her as she came, her hips stuttering, giving you the opportunity to finally help out and rub tight circles on her clit. Just enough to sustain her orgasm for a few seconds more. She exhaled sharply and leaned forward on her hands, pushing deeper into your ribs. It made it a little harder to breathe, but when Tara Carpenter was the cause? Well, you would be happy to just suffocate under her touch.

“God you’re hot,” you said softly, not even sure if she would hear you or not. That was okay; it wasn’t the point.

Her eyes finally opened as she caught some semblance of control over her breathing again. The beautiful brown of her eyes was taken over by her dark pupils, and for a moment, she almost looked like she was smiling down at you. Maybe she was, you certainly wouldn’t bring it up to her. Not at that moment, anyway. But then she blinked a few times and shook her head before removing her weight from her hands, unburdening you from suffocation.

“I suppose you’re not entirely insufferable,” she said as she slowly pushed herself off of you, being a little extra careful as she buttoned her pants.

“You’re gonna leave me high and dry, aren’t you?” You asked when she tossed your shirt back in your face.

“You never clarified you wanted to get laid,” she said with a smirk before walking to the door and leaving the room.

You fell back onto the bed and sighed loudly. Your head was thumping with your pre-hangover migraine, your cheek was still sore, and you had a serious case of blue balls. But the mental image of Tara getting herself off on your hand… well, you supposed that would suffice.

For now.

[kolsmikaelson]

— JACAERYS VELARYON NSFW ALPHABET

— a/n - have a soft spot for jace and heres what came of that :) special tag for @valeskafics bc she encouraged me to write this <3

— warning(s) - 18+ mdni, fem!reader, not proofread

join my taglist or follow @rodrickhefley to see when i post!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he’s so sweet and soft with you. if he’d been able to take his time with you he calls for a warm bath to be drawn and sits with you pressed against his chest until the water’s gone cold. if you’d been rushed he’d still clean you up with whatever he had or could find and would promise to take his time with you later <33

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

your tits. he loves anything to do with them, laying on them as he’s falling asleep, sucking on your nipples when you’re riding him, leaving hickeys and bite marks all over them. it’s one of his favorite things. his favorite body part of his would probably be his arms, like he can’t get over how strong he is and how easily he can toss you around

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he loves making you cum and then cumming inside of you and eating you out right after. he loves watching it drip out of you while he kisses at the inside of your thighs before eating you out and making you cum on his tongue again

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

loves people seeing you fuck but especially if it’s someone like aemond or aegon because he sees the way that they look at you and he feels so smug knowing that they can’t have you. except for the once or twice he gives in to you and lets one of them fuck you alongside him

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

not experienced at all. had no clue what he was doing because when he was younger he vowed to himself that because his future wife had to save herself for him that he should do the same for her

F = Favorite position ( goes without saying)

anything that has you on top of him because while he loves being able to throw you around he also loves it when you get dominant with him

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

in the beginning for sure but over time once he learns what he’s doing he’s not as goofy

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

carpet does match the drapes. he’s (surprisingly) quite well groomed. he’s not shaved completely but it’s all very neat down there

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

so so needy. he’s so in love with you and your body it’s like he can’t get enough of you. he’s on the rougher side but he always keeps your pleasure at the front of his mind and doesn’t care nearly as much about his own

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

jacks off so much when you’re just betrothed. he doesn’t want to dishonor you and do anything before the wedding so he keeps to using his hand until then

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

mommy and daddy kink. loves spitting in your mouth and on your pussy. loves choking but would rather be the one getting choked

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere you could get caught. he loves the idea of knowing that someone could turn a corner and find you shoved against a wall being fucked on his cock or on your knees gagging on him. aegon and aemond have both been victims of this and have both ended up fucking you too

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

everything about you gets him turned on. he loves it when you stand up for yourself against anyone but especially alicent or otto. he loves seeing you in red and black. and as basic as this is, he loves seeing you bent over because he usually gets a great view of your ass or your tits

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there's not much he wouldn’t do honestly. the main thing i can think of is nothing to do with bodily fluids that aren't spit or cum. most other things he would at least consider before deciding

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

jace LOVES giving. he loves fucking your face but loves when you sit on his more. once he gets the hang of things? he’s a fucking god

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

so fast and rough and needy. he feels like he’s been waiting for you and to be able to fuck you for his entire life (you were betrothed for a matter of weeks) he’s like a dog in heat for a good while after getting married but eventually he can control himself more

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves them and wants them all the time. just about to leave for dinner? he’s got his fingers up your skirt and fucking into you within seconds. his mother wants to see him? she can wait he needs to fuck you before he goes

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

as long as he knows for sure you won’t get permanently hurt he’s game for a lot of things

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

god he can go for hours. he’ll start out fingering you before he moves on to fucking your face then eats you out and then finally he fucks you. he’ll do that for as long and you both can stand it

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

toys aren’t really a thing but he has heard a thing or two from aegons nights in the street of silk about jade being carved into the shape of a cock for women to use for their own pleasure. as discreetly as possible he has one made in a very similar shape and size as his. he surprises you with it one night and used it on you for what felt like forever

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

oh he’s the king of teasing you. will do anything to get under your skin

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s not super loud but he’s not super quiet either. he grunts and groans and whimpers more than anything

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he had one of his best orgasms the time that daemon walked in on the two of you. he stood in the doorway smirking as jace fucked into you

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

pretty nice in length, a bit above average and he has a gif but of girth to him too. it curves to the right just slightly

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

so high. he wants to be inside of you all the time. when he’s away for something rhaenyra needed from him he’s thinking about you as he fists his cock every chance he gets

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

passes out so quick, like within minutes. after all he is just human. after all this hours of taking you apart he’s worn out

© kolsmikaelson : please do not copy, repost, or modify any of my content.

dividers by : @.cafekitsune

[anabdaniels]

So fitting for happily ever after

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Female reader

Summary: You got jealous because of a past situation with his secretary, so Jack makes sure to calm you down aka Jack eats reader on his office desk.

Word counting: 1.9k

Rating: +18

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), fingering, semi-public sex, reader curses in another language (translations provided at the end).

A/N: First things first I made reader cursing in Portuguese because my Brazilian ass can't find English curse words to sound offensive enough hahaha. Whatever, the idea of writing this came while I was listening to some wild Reddit stories so...

Divider from: @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

You could barely feel the ground under your feet as you walked inside the ranch, boiling in pure anger, the 30 minutes in the car on your way home for sure didn’t help the thousands of thoughts going through your brain.

“Jack Daniels.” You called more loudly than you would normally as you entered the bedroom. Jack promptly looked at you in complete confusion as he finished putting his t-shirt on.

“Something wrong, honey?” he asked calmly, despite the crease between his eyebrows.

“Can you please explain to me what kind of fucking business have you been doing at your damn job?” you asked mad, but keeping your tone under control the best you could.

“What’s the problem, sugar? What has made you so upset?” he questioned with one hand resting on the dresser and the other on his hip.

“The problem is that aquela vaca do caralho…” you stopped and took a deep breath, not wanting to lose your composure “Your dear little secretary talked to me at the fucking pharmacy and made sure to let me know that you have been fucking her.” You could feel your stomach twisting only with the idea of it.

“I expected you to know she lied to you.” Jack said calmly, even knowing that the situation was delicate.

“Then can you explain to me how the fuck she knows you have a single freckle on your left inner thigh?” you questioned concerningly calm.

“Honey, the situation ain’t like you’re probably imagining.” Jack answered in a soft tone.

“C’mon, you’ll tell me that she stumped and accidentally fell sat on your dick? Não fode, Daniels.” you rolled your eyes, both hands lying on your hips; Jack had to breathe calmly to not laugh at your bold statement, aware that laughing would only complicate his situation.

“My love, I can assure you that all that happened was a simple one-night stand a couple of years before we met and nothing more.” Jack kept his calm, even though he was already planning the reprimanding and possible dismissal he would give to his secretary the next time he saw her.

“Haven’t I asked you a thousand times if you had something with her because she always acted very pick me around you? And you denied it every time.” You inquired raising your eyebrows and tilting your head slightly, still not amused by his answer.

“I didn’t think would be relevant to tell you this since it happened once and didn’t have any relevance.” Jack said sincerely, almost starting to worry about all that.

“Where?” you asked after a few moments of silence.

“Where?” Jack repeated confused.

“Where did you fucked her?” you questioned once more, making the question the clearer possible.

“At her apartment…” he answered seeming completely clueless of which was your goal with that.

“At least some good news, I haven’t slept on the same bed as that bitch.” You squinted at the very moment Jack chuckled and approached you.

“Now can you calm down a little bit, for god's sake?” he spoke while resting his hands on your upper arms, softly rubbing your skin.

“Oh if I wasn't calm, your nose would have been broken a long time ago.” You rolled your eyes as he kept a goofy smile, holding you by the waist.

“Didn’t know you were that jealous ‘bout me.” Jack made sure to tease you with that smug tone.

“You’re lucky that I’m calmer than most girls back home. Some of them would’ve already put sugar on your car’s tank or sold your limited-edition Stetsons for 20 dollars on eBay.”

“Good thing I don't intend to make any serious mistake.” He joked and laughed when you seemed not happy with it. “Ease your heart, Mrs. Daniels. I have no intention to even look at any woman that ain’t my gorgeous wife.” Jack assured calmly and leaned to kiss the tip of your nose.

“You better. I imagine that even being sterilized, you still like to have both of your testicles.” You stated slightly raising your eyebrows.

“I do.” He confirmed seriously, making both of you laugh.

Despite being the one who cooked almost 100% of the meals, Jack wasn’t the biggest fan of doing the groceries and organizing them in the pantry, and since you would do anything but cook, you assumed those tasks. Once at the supermarket parking lot with your phone and shop list on hand, you realized you had forgotten your wallet at home. Already mumbling all the curse words you knew while starting your car, you remembered that Jack was at Statesman, which, despite being out of the city too, was way closer than the ranch.

Once you arrived at the distillery and got to the floor of Jack’s office, you were happily surprised when you didn’t see his dubious character secretary at the front desk, but the sympathetic lady you used to talk a lot every time you had to wait for Jack to get out of some meeting.

You walked calmly to Jack’s office, knocking on the door and getting in as you heard his voice telling you to do it, stopping in front of his desk and waiting for him to look at you.

“Honeybee.” Jack smiled openly as he saw you and leaned back on his chair, taping one of his thighs. Without hesitation you moved to sit sideways on his lap, letting your arms rest on his shoulders. “What brings my dear wife here today?”

“My shitty memory to be honest.” You admitted, tilting your head slightly “I was on my way to do the groceries and realized I forgot my wallet at the ranch.”

“Oh, I see.” He answered with a soft chuckle, grabbing his wallet and giving you his bank card.

“Just for the record, I was planning to pass on some other places after it, so…” you were ready to start a little justification speech, still not having completely lost the habit of thinking that you should have a complex reason to buy something, but Jack didn’t give you the chance to even start with it.

“It’s okay, sugar, don’t worry your pretty head with this. If my dear wife can’t have a little fun with my card, then what am I working for?” Jack winked at you with a sideway smile and leaned to press a soft kiss on your lips.

“Fine, I’ll remember this.” You chuckled while playing with a lock of his hair “Speaking about work, I haven't seen your dear secretary around.” You mentioned it with a bit of sarcasm.

“She got transferred to the city branch.” Jack explained calmly, resting both hands on your waist.

“I imagine she’s missing her beloved boss.” You said with a slightly annoyed grimace.

“Honey…” he laughed quietly and kissed the curve of your neck.

“I’m just stating the reality.” You shrugged “I wonder if you really haven’t taken a bite of her among shifts.” At that point, you were just wanting to mess with him a bit.

“Well, I’ll summarize my answer simply saying that all of my office furniture has been christened with you.” Safe to say it got you out off guard; you didn’t doubt the fact that death would be a more considerable option for Jack if the other option was cheating on you, but you were aware that he had a life before you and that new information was something you were not expecting.

“Now, that’s the kind of news I like to receive on a turbulent day.” You admitted with a wide smile.

“Good, now ease your jealous, y’know I’d kiss the ground you walk if you asked me to.” He finished the phrase with a soft nibble on your shoulder, making you squirm a bit on his lap.

“Personally, I’d prefer you to use your mouth for other stuff.”

“Now tell me something I don’t know.” Jack teased and faster than the blink of an eye, you were sat on his desk, his hands all over you and his mustache tickling the sensitive skin that was exposed on your cleavage. You tried to keep your breath slow, aware that making any loud sound wouldn’t be a good idea. Both of your hands dived on Jack’s hair, your fingers tangling on the brown strands as you got more softened by his touch.

With no ceremony, Jack sneaked his hands under your skirt, taking off your panties and moving his fingers to your pulsing core as his other hand quickly rested over your mouth to suppress your pleased noise, which wasn’t very helpful to your self-control, since the feeling of his huge calloused hand covering your mouth and a good part of your face just helped your dirty thoughts to go further.

Enjoying the view of your body softening, Jack kept his fingers working between your legs, smirking at every single spasm of your hips. Conscious about how close you were to losing control of your noises, you bit the palm of Jack’s hand, sinking your teeth more into his skin as two of his fingers slid inside you and his thumb rubbed your swollen clit.

Yes, you knew that all those papers with the Statesman logo spread over his desk probably were important, but you weren’t giving a shit about that fact at that moment, letting one of your hands crumple the nearest pile of pages. Caring less than you, Jack decided to move further, kneeling on the floor so his head was placed between your thighs. You didn’t have the time to catch your breath before his tongue was buried in your wet core and you managed your body reactions the best you could, pulling his hair, smashing the papers on the desk, and keeping your bite on the palm of his hand.

Your eyes rolled back as your eyelids fell close, your mind doing you no favor as you thought about the fact that, even being the charming boss who could have spent a good time with half of the Statesman staff during his office hours, you were the first person to have that kind of moment with him at his office, and the meeting room, and the warehouse of barrels…

Seeming to know that you were deeply stuck on the moment, Jack didn’t spare his efforts, keeping his fingers and mouth working rhythmically on your throbbing cunt, getting more pleased as he felt your thighs squeezing his head more and more at the same pace your fingers twisted a huge portion of his hair, causing a slight pain Jack enjoyed deeply.

You got the last straw when his fingers curled inside you, providing you with the single push you needed to get over the edge, involuntarily moving your hips and letting out an audible moan, feeling your whole body starting to melt as Jack slowed his motion until completely stop, needing a few seconds to process what was going on when he sat back on his chair and pulled you to his lap, letting you nestle between his arms and kissing the top of your head.

“Can I ask a question?” your voice came out quiet after a moment.

“Of course, love.” Jack answered promptly while moving one hand to caress your back.

“I’m getting this treatment every time I show up to ask you for money?” you looked up at him with a lazy smile.

“Only if you’re all jealous for no reason.” He answered with a cocky grin, leaning forward to give you a soft peck on the lips.

Translations: Aquela vaca do caralho- that fucking bitch Não fode- don't fuck/mess with me

Tagging: @missladym1981

[junggunz]

♡⸝⸝nsfw alphabet: samuel seo

cw: fem bodied reader + established relationship. an: for the two anons !!! i nearly combusted while writing this because he's so daddy. thanks for requesting

A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Samuel during aftercare is going to highly depend on how much he likes you. Period. Assuming he likes you a lot, his aftercare is going to be catered to what you like. You want him to give you a massage after he fucks you into the next dimension? Done. You just want cuddles and praise? Okay. 

B - Body Part (their favorite body part on themselves and their favorite body part on their partner)

Sammy has big tiddies. We know this. They didn’t show up out of nowhere though. Lots of love and care and nurturing went into growing those tiddies. They’re all natural and organic. So obviously, Samuel is very proud of his pectoral muscles. 

On his partner, Samuel definitely likes hips and ass. They’re his favorite place to grab; inside and outside of the bedroom. Skinship with him outside of sex is limited but you can guarantee he’ll always have a hand on your hip when the two of you are out and about. When no one’s around he’s the type to randomly grab a handful of your ass for fun. 

C - Cum (anything related to 💦💦💦)

This man!!! Samuel wants to cum inside you. Every. Single. Time. If his cum starts to leak out of your pussy, best believe he’s gonna fuck it back inside of you. Don’t even look at him unless you’re on some form of contraceptives or you’re ready to be a mommy tbh. If he’s cumming in your mouth, he’s gonna make you swallow every single drop. He’s blessing you with his seed, you better not waste it. 

D - Dirty Secret 

Samuel is pretty upfront with you when it comes to his kinks but the one thing he has a hard time admitting to you is that he wants to have a threesome. He’s very possessive over you and he would never hear the end of it if he told you that he’d want to take turns and simultaneously wreck you with Jake or maybe even Goo. Another reason this remains a dirty secret is because he’s lowkey insecure that you might end up liking Jake more than him or something. 

E - Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Look at him…of course this man has experience. Samuel is a bit smug about how experienced he is too because he thinks you’re adorable when you get jealous. Asshole smh.  

F - Favorite Position

Full nelson or mating press. I refuse to believe otherwise. Both positions render you in a state of helplessness where you have no choice but to keep that dick inside and take whatever he gives you. 

G - Goofy (are they more serious or playful in the moment?)

Very serious. Almost never playful. Even when Samuel teases you, it’s not playful in the slightest; it’s just mean. 

H - Hair (how well groomed they are)

Another high maintenance man who takes his manscaping seriously. He likes to keep it trimmed and tidy. If he lets it grow out too much, how are you supposed to see how big he is-

I - Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

This man is so emotionally unwell lol it’s so hard for me to imagine Samuel being romantic during sex without you pleading for some tender loving before the two of you get in bed. Once he gets in the zone, it’s hard for him to switch off the part of his brain that wants to rearrange your guts. 

J - Jack Off (how frequently do they masturbate?)

I feel like Samuel is one of those guys who wakes up with morning wood that doesn’t go down for like thirty minutes if he doesn’t do something about it. With that being said, if he doesn’t have you to help him, he probably starts every day jacking off in the shower. Other than that, probably isn’t gonna masturbate on his own very often. 

K - Kink

Samuel just screams dom okay. He wouldn’t say no to subbing for you if you really, really wanted him to; but he would have a hard time taking you seriously. So if you want to dom him, you better know exactly what it takes to break him and make him submit or else he’s gonna end up overpowering you. 

Samuel is the man you go to if you want rough, degrading sex that turns you into a dumb cockslut !!!  He’s a big fan of titles; daddy, sir, master; whatever. Address him properly if you want to cum.

Spanking - Samuel loves bending you over his knee and spanking your ass until red marks in the shape of his hand appear on your skin. He thinks it’s so precious how you get so wet from him slapping your ass, he’ll probably slip his fingers inside of you as a treat. 

Degradation - Fucking you like a slut isn’t enough. Samuel is going to verbally remind you of what he sees you as in that moment. He’ll save the praise for after sex if you don’t immediately fall asleep on him.

Dare I add in brat taming to his list of kinks- no explanation needed there lol.

L - Location (favorite places to do the deed)

In front of a mirror is one of his favorite places to have sex. Samuel already knows that when he fucks you in doggy or the full nelson position, you’re a wreck but actually being able just how pathetic you look really gets him going. 

I already mentioned that he starts his day jacking off in the shower, so of course, he’s gonna love it if you join him.

I don’t think he would want to fully fuck you in public but he’d definitely get a kick out of fingering you under the table at dinner or something like that. 

M - Motivation (what turns them on and gets them going)

I don’t think there’s anything in particular that will get Samuel in the mood for sex. You could literally just go up to him and start making out with him and his not so little friend will get hard. He secretly likes it when you play with his nipples too. 

N - NO (what turns them off or something they’re strongly against)

Our dear Sammy cannot stand being bound. We know this. He probably wouldn’t care too much about having you be bound either tbh. Using his own strength to keep you in place is too much fun for him to want to rely on handcuffs or something else.

O - Oral (preference for giving or receiving, skill level)

Samuel enjoys giving as much as receiving. He feels that it’s an absolute necessity to eat you out before he fucks you. He’s got an anaconda in his pants, if he doesn’t spend enough time prepping you, it’s gonna take forever trying to squeeze inside of your pussy.  On the receiving end of things…let’s just say you’ll learn very quickly how to control your gag reflex. The man fucking your throat is his way of warming up before he gets between your legs.

P - Pace

Samuel jackhammering into you is too predictable. I think he has some range. If you tell him to go faster, he’s gonna go slower and vice versa; all in the name of reminding you that he’s the one in control—not you.

Q - Quickie (opinions on them/how often)

Samuel is never gonna be the one to suggest a quickie. If you want one, he’s gonna tease you with his fingers then punish you at a later time by edging you like crazy.   

R - Risk (do they like to experiment or take risks?)

Not very experimental. Samuel would honestly get butthurt if you suggested trying something new and ask you if his dick isn’t satisfying enough lollll He’s gonna be a little hesitant to try new things.

S - Stamina (how long do they last? How many rounds would they like to go for?)

I’m telling you…these Lookism men are built different. Stamina is out of the roof. How long the two of you have sex is totally dependent on his mood. Some days he’ll want to go for one really long round, other days he’ll want to go for a bunch of shorter rounds.

T - Toy (how do they feel about using them?)

If you have any toys, don’t let Samuel find them. He’s a meanie. He’s gonna use your vibrator on you until you’re shaking and crying.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

One of the biggest teases. I said Jake was borderline mean, Samuel is a straight up demon. Edging you brings him more satisfaction than actually cumming sometimes.

V - Volume (how loud they are and what sounds do they make?)

Other than dirty talk, Samuel makes a good amount of noise. He moans like a slut when he’s filling you up with his cum. 

W - Wild Card

I will not be elaborating or explaining. It’s just a vibe.

I think Samuel secretly likes getting absolutely hammered with you and having sloppy, drunk sex. 

X - X-Ray (what’s in those pants?)

LOOKISM IS FULL OF BIG DICK BANDITS. We’ve seen his bulge so many times. It’s canon that he’s packing. I hate using numbers but I think he’s just shy of 8 inches long and thick af. 

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Samuel is actually very good at keeping it in his pants. He needs to have some sort of restraint if he likes to edge you and tease you as often as he does. Usually, he just picks up whenever you want sex and that’s when he gets horny. 

Z ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 -  (how quickly they fall asleep after.)  

Samuel probably will only go to sleep immediately after sex if he knows he has something to do in the morning. 

summary: Samuel is a gentleman in the streets, rough and nasty in the sheets. What else is there to say. He is pure sex on legs.

bonus!

“F-fuck, stop clenching so tight around me, you slut.” Samuel groans out, feigning annoyance as his calloused hands grip at the tender flesh of your thigh.  Entrenched in the warmth of your walls, the fat tip of his cock was pressed into your sweet spot and every little movement he made caused your walls to quiver around him. Even with slickness from all your juices gushing around his length, it was almost impossible to move. Pushing your legs further against your chest as he presses more of his weight onto you, your ankles are almost by your ears in this excruciating folded position.

“I can’t help it...” You mumble, biting your lip as you look up at him with an impish expression; pupils dilated with a mix of lust and affection for the man towering above you. “I love the way you fill me up.” Your naughty words have Samuel’s cock twitching inside of you before his expression darkens as he meets your gaze.

“Yeah? You love it so much you don’t even wanna let me move?” He asks you mockingly, his dark hair falling over his eyes and casting a menacing shadow on his face. Pushing his hips into yours despite already being balls deep into you, his cock stirs your insides and has your toes curling.  Samuel continues to give you these shallow thrusts, aggressively pivoting against your walls and rubbing you just the right way until your walls finally let up on his length. 

Finally able to draw back, Samuel wastes no time thrusting into you hard; pounding you into the mattress, making you writhe against the sheets and cry out in ecstasy. Your nails claw at the inked flesh of his biceps as you endure him treating your body like you were his fleshlight. His deep thrusts are consistently hitting that special spot within your walls like it was an off button for your brain. The smile of pure delirium that spreads across your face only encourages Samuel to keep bullying the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your body starts to tremble as you rapidly approach your orgasm but you know better than cum without his permission. The longer you try to hold it off, the more you waver.

“You’re not cumming already, are you?” Samuel questions you, focused on pumping his dick in and out your walls that were trying to hold in place. “You know how I feel about whores who cum without my permission.”

A pathetic whine escapes you as your brain struggles to string together the words to plead for his permission. However, even with your best efforts to stave off your climax, you feel your pussy gushing around his length that was still slamming into you. Your eyes widen in surprise, looking at Samuel helplessly before he smirks at you. His thrusts slow down, eventually coming to a halt before he pulls out of you and releases you from the mating press you were in.

Sitting back on his heels, Samuel examines your limp body, tsking in disappointment. He could never tire of the sight of you laid out like this but there had to be consequences for you not being able to follow the one simple instruction he gave you. Samuel may have been the one who fucked you so good you couldn’t think but that didn’t change the fact you had broken a rule. 

“You were doing so good up until now.” He sighs, running a hand along your inner thighs then giving a harsh slap to your sensitive pussy that causes you to yelp in surprise. “Pick your punishment quick so we can get back to having fun.”

[6esiree]

Part 3 for the group chat fic 👀?

When I received this I had already gotten started on the next part, I just didn’t get the opportunity to finish it until now because of homework. Literally, as soon as I decided to get back into my hobbies, uni was like “no.”

But it’s done now and that’s all that matters, yippee !! I do plan on writing more about Gen Z reader and the goofy shit they say/do, the kinda relationships they have with the other residents, and more btw. If anyone has any ideas, do lmk :)

Husk x GN! Reader: What Are We?

Summary: Part 3 to the group chat fic, except it’s mostly just the reader solidifying their relationship with Husk. The texts are at the end!!

Warnings: Uhh, a little bit spicy, but no smut. Swearing.

—————

As the morning rudely interrupted your slumber, the sunlight seeping through the tiny slits between the curtains and tinging your eyelids crimson, you turned your head away with a groan. The night was over already? Fuck—you seriously felt as if you’d just closed your eyes an hour ago. Husk continued snoring away on your chest, clinging onto your body while you shifted underneath him, trying to avoid the sun’s assault on your vision.

“Stop moving s’much,” Husk suddenly muttered, his morning voice catching you off-guard.

Your eyes flitted down to the older man, observing how he lifted his hips and arched his back off of your body, stretching til a ‘Pop!’ echoed in your room. His tail whipped behind him as he sighed in content, and you? Well, you could only stare at him in awe as he behaved like a typical cat, unable to believe the scene before you.

“That was so cute, what the fuck,” You said, watching as his back stiffened.

“Cute? You gotta be kidding me,” Husk said, getting up from your chest and flopping down next to you, looking absolutely disheveled from last night’s activities, “Nothin’ I do is cute—I’m a grown ass man.”

You snorted and rolled onto your side, watching how a few strands of hair on Husk’s head stood upwards. ‘What’s so funny?’ He asked, his eyes widening as you carded your fingers through his hair, attempting to tame it.

“Nothing,” You said as he looked at you in feigned disapproval, but he didn’t push you away.

In fact, Husk leaned forward, craning his neck so your hand would touch his ear instead. The corner of your mouth twitched upwards as you scratched it, admiring how easily he unraveled under your touch. Even at his best, you’d never seen him this at ease—you were glad he trusted you.

“This stays between you and I,” Husk said after a bit, reaching up to grab your hand and bring your knuckles in for a kiss, “Got it?”

You blinked, face flushed as his lips moved against your knuckles. Husk had the audacity to look up at you with a quirked brow, clearly amused by how easily he had turned the tables on you. In your defense, you were weak-minded, the way he called you babydoll traveling straight to the area between your legs.

“Yeah, sure—whatever,” You said, rolling your eyes when Husk chuckled, saying something along the lines of ‘Good—that’s what I like to hear.’

You narrowed your eyes at the cat-demon, his response dripping with smugness.

Yeah, you weren’t letting that slide. You grabbed one of your pillows and smacked him in the face with it, albeit somewhat gently. ‘What the fuck?’ Husk sputtered, swiftly casting the pillow aside and fixing to grab you, but he completely missed you as you hopped off of the bed, sending him tumbling to the ground with a loud thud.

You were so fucked.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Husk asked when you tried to seek refuge in your bathroom, catching the doorknob before you could twist the lock.

He whipped the door open and wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you up onto his shoulder. You yelped as he did all of this so effortlessly, tossing you back onto your bed with a toothy grin plastered on his face. In an effort to save yourself, you crawled backwards, but Husk grabbed your ankles and pulled you down, leaving you entirely at his mercy.

“Seriously? Come on, how old are ya?” Husk asked, menacingly looming over you, his claws flexing against the skin of your ankles.

“Not as old as you, that’s for sure—“ You started, but then Husk folded your legs into your chest, crying out as you realized the position he had you in: a fucking mating press.

“Babydoll, I’m the same old man who had you begging to get your hole pounded in,” Husk said, chuckling as you covered your face with a groan, embarrassed. “Or do you need a reminder, hm?”

He let go of one of your ankles, his paw trailing up your leg, past your stomach to the valley between your chest, until finally settling on your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut, feeling how his claws delicately traced where he had nipped you last night. The man reveled in the whines that slipped from your throat, his arousal making itself known by poking the inside of your thigh.

“This isn’t fair,” You said, your chest heaving in anticipation. “You’re not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair, y’know,” Husk said, leaning in to place a kiss below your ear, “But I guess I could be a little nicer to you, eh?”

“Yes,” You breathed out, craning your neck as he continued to kiss you, slowly inching closer to your mouth.

When his lips ghosted over your chin, you stared at Husk, realizing that he hadn’t kissed you last night. Would he kiss you now, or was the act too…intimate? You two had fucked, yeah, and while you wouldn’t let anybody just do that, maybe he had a different mindset. It was at this moment that you considered asking what would become of you two, and shit, that scared you.

You visibly deflated under Husk, the arousal you previously felt replaced by fear almost instantaneously. Disappointment enveloped your heart as he receded from you and relinquished your ankles—but he did so because he noticed the sudden change in your body language. Husk’s eyes frantically scoured your face, genuinely concerned.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Husk asked, reaching out to cradle your cheek. “Did I make you uncomfortable—shit, I didn’t—“

“No! God, of course not,” You cut him off quickly.

You leaned into Husk’s touch, feeling a bit reassured over the gesture. Still, the task of asking him where you stood remained equally as daunting as before.

“I’m just—I, uh—fuck!” You sputtered, sitting up in an effort to gather your thoughts.

Husk blinked, more confused than concerned now, but he didn’t interrupt you. You turned to him, your face flushed as you decided to just blurt out the question.

“Whatarewe?” You asked, your eyes darting across his face, nervous as he looked back at you in shock.

His expression softened not even a few seconds later, however, relieved that he hadn’t made you uncomfortable.

“We can be anything you want us to be, dollface,” Husk said, an unmistakable tenderness in the smile he offered you, “Preferably, though, I would like to be yours.”

The slick bastard. Instead of using the typical ‘Be mine,’ Husk opted to say it in reverse, and fuck, did it make your stomach do summersaults. You quickly jumped onto his lap and enveloped him in a hug, unable to contain the happiness that surged through your body. He eagerly returned your hug, but the way his wings followed suit and practically cocooned the two of you put you in a state of ecstasy.

“Please kiss me,” You whispered, pulling back to look at Husk.

“Come over here,” Husk rasped, his hands sliding down to your hips, encouraging you to lean into him impossibly closer.

And you did just that, the wetness of his nose tickling your cheek as your lips finally met. You sighed, pouring the feelings you had long repressed for the sake of your friendship into the kiss. When Husk’s tongue glided against the bottom of your lip, however, you regretted your choice, especially with extermination day becoming a bi-annual event. You had each other now, though, so that’s all that mattered.

The two of you could have continued kissing all day—and perhaps a little more than that—but then your phone suddenly began to vibrate. Somebody was texting, you and Husk collectively groaning at the interruption. You had carelessly discarded it somewhere on your bed last night, so you had to part from his embrace, apologizing as you asked him to help you out.

Husk, ever the sweetheart, helped you out, quickly locating it under one of your pillows. He rolled his eyes as he handed it to you, his face flushed as he mumbled something about it being Angel Dust. Curious, you hastily unlocked your phone, seeing that you had several unread messages from the groupchat.

“No fucking way,” You said, immediately understanding Husk’s reaction.

—————

Angel: holy shit can it be my turn next ??

Vaggie: What are you talking about?

Angel: there is no way u didnt hear that … wtf. Y/N just got their world rocked by the bartender.

Niffty: I heard everything. The walls are too thin.

Vaggie: You guys are gross.

Sir Pentious: I didn’t hear anything, but now that I’ve been informed of their activities, I will be unable to look either of them in the eye for a while.

Angel: you all are a bunch of prudes ugh

You: Angel what the FUCK??? I am going to throttle u oh my god.

Angel: ohh kinky …want a gig at the porn studio btw ?? let me tell u, honey, u can sing!!

You: When I come downstairs rn, it’s so over for u.

Charlie: *Reacts to your message with a broken heart*

[pokemenlovingmen]

Random selection of Pokeguys with this old classic:

Character: “I wasn’t that drunk last night!”

“You were flirting with S/O.”

Character: “So? He’s my boyfriend.”

“You asked him if he was single.”

“And then cried when he said he wasn’t.”

… you guys know the one I’m talking about right? A big fandom meme but I can’t find the og, if there even was a non fandom-affiliated og. This is probably really convoluted for a shitpost lmao I’m sorry, this is just silly goofiness to me while I wait for requests and the guys here were just kinda picked by who I thought would be the most fun to write.

Content warnings: alcohol consumption and drunkenness

Adaman

💎 — Emotionally devastated but trying so hard not to show it

💎 — Considering he was sloppy-ass drunk enough to ask you, HIS BOYFRIEND, if you were single that’s not really something he’s doing great at

💎 — “Oh nooo that’s so… I’m sorry… oh noooo you’re just so pretty :(“

💎 — He stares vacantly off into the distance, holding back tears while you stare at him and wonder how long it’s gonna take for him to realize.

💎 — It’s kinda pathetic so you give up the joke and tell him the truth, to which he ACTUALLY bursts into tears.

💎 — “Hweuuuhhh Mighty Dialga is truly gracious and kind to have blessed me with your love I’m so luckyyyyyyyyy”

💎 — Just leans against you and sobs for a while, while you pet his hair and try to console him and insist this is real life, and that you’re sorry about the trick. Mai and Irida, who are watching the whole thing, are NOT sorry you pulled this one because it’s fucking hysterical

Melli

💙 — WAILS

💙 — Cue incoherent sobbing into your shoulder about why Mighty Dialga hates him so much that it would torment him with the ethereal beauty that you are that he’s forbidden to have

💙 — If only they existed in Hisui, you might want to grab a velvet chaise for him to lay on and sob dramatically in a very theatrical pose

💙 — When you finally give up the joke and tell him that the person you’re dating is, in fact, him, it’s like you just clicked the off switch. I mean, the tears are definitely still flowing but he shuts up instantly and stares at you like you’ve grown a second head.

💙 — Then starts fanning his face, still clearly crying while trying to look all smug and confident.

💙 — “HMMMMMPH of course I knew that, only I would be worthy of your company anyway” (still visibly crying a river)

💙 — Clings to your side the entire night and also looks like a pathetic wet rat while he does it

Red

🔥 — :(

🔥 — visible despair

🔥 — sad shinji meme

🔥 — he just kind of. sulks. pouting very dramatically.

🔥 — I mean good for you and whoever you’re seeing but he’s very drunk and to him you’re like the hottest man on earth right now??

🔥 — Eventually you put your arm around him and hit him with the “Red honey, I was talking about you. You’re the other person I’m seeing.”

🔥 — …

🔥 — :,D

🔥 — prommy????

Ingo

⚫️ — INSTANT ugly crying but not for the reason you think actually.

⚫️ — “WAUUGH PLEASE FORGIVE MY RUDENESS I DIDN’T MEAN TO IMPOSE I AM SO IGNORANT PLEASE TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER I’M SORRYYYYYY”

⚫️ — I mean yeah, he’s also upset you’re apparently not single but all he can think about is how much he must have offended you and AUGH you’re so handsome and sweet and he was so clueless please don’t take it personally he doesn’t really know what’s gotten into him!!!

⚫️ — Probably the one you have to drop the joke the fastest with because you were NOT expecting this reaction at all and between all the sobbing and shouting you’re starting to worry about when the last time he actually took a breath was.

⚫️ — You end up needing to rub his back and scream your own apologies to him because you were only joking, the person you were dating is HIM!

⚫️ — At this he’s now just crying for a different reason, because he’s so lucky and you’re so handsome and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this.

⚫️ — He calms down pretty fast after that, but never mention that incident to him again

⚫️ — He already doesn’t drink much and remembering how dramatic and off kilter he was being that night just has him actually wanting to curl up in a hole and just. Live there.

Emmet

⚪️ — “Oh! Okay then!”

⚪️ — You’re a bit surprised by his unfazed reaction for being absolutely piss drunk, but after delivering that line he immediately pivots on his heel and speedwalks the hell away.

⚪️ — You call his name at first, and when he doesn’t respond and also looks DEAD SET on leaving whatever event you guys are at, you have to run after him calling his name all the while.

⚪️ — Drunk Emmet thought process: Dear lord, I’ve made a horrible mistake. I am extremely embarrassed. I’m going to immediately vacate the area and probably never come back.

⚪️ — You practically corner him because he is so, so fixated on leaving out of sheer embarrassment when you explain you were just messing with him and the person you’re already dating? That’s him.

⚪️ — By the look on his face, he practically needs one of those little buffering wheels above his head, because he is thinking HARD about this. His entire worldview has shattered. The earth has stopped turning. His wig is gone.

⚪️ — Eventually he just… climbs into your arms and lets you take him back to where you guys were. Both extremely embarrassed for a totally different reason now while simultaneously being in complete and total awe that sober him scored someone like you. Woah.

[daryldixonsdoormat]

idk if ur still writing Outsider fics but if you do, i would DIE, i mean die begging on my knees for HCs of ur favs (Two, Darry + Steve and soda if your willing) of the reader flashing them during an argument idk why its so funny but man i think its hilarious and the boys’ reaction would be so funny

OMFG YESSSSS, I LOVE THIS. I'm doing the 'adults'. Which would be Darry, Twobit, Sodapop, and Steve. also mini stroy for each and headcannons because ive been so absent.

Warnings: implied sexual themes, steamy situations (nothing crazy)

Darry ( the actual love of my life).

~ “You dont ever think” he cuts in with a tired sigh, attempting to not raise his voice. “Darry, you gotta be fucking kidding me, I think more than anybody in this house there is no way your saying that to me”. “I am and I mean it, you need to be more careful and stop worrying–” you interrupt him quickly stepping closer to him and sticking as finger up. “Darrel Curtis don’t you raise your voice at me like im one of your siblings”. Darry groans loudly throwing his hands up obviously not letting this silly argument go easily. “I just wish you would—” you lift your shirt up flashing Darry silencing him immediately. Darry walks over to you his calloused hands sitting on your waist, “Darling this conversation isn’t over even when you try and distract me” he looks at you smugly with his eyebrows raised. You reply with the same smugness bringing a hand to the back of his neck to pull him inevitability closer, “worth a shot though”.

~ definitely doesn't let arguments go easily , but he definitely loves that mini distraction and some stress relief (ifykyk).

Steve Randle (Goofy ass mf)

“Steve I don’t know why this is a big deal to you honey” you say in a calm and settle voice trying to calm him down. To your dismay he is still not happy about the situation at all, “No you can’t just throw stuff out like that, what if I still wanted it? Then what?”. You rub your hands down your face unamused by his ridiculous behavior, “Steve that shit has been sitting out for days now, I would’nt of let you eat it anyways”. Steve starts pacing back and forth in the kitchen thinking of something to say to “win”, then a new idea comes to mind which will end this banter once and for all. “Are you still mad Steve?”, he turns around abruptly “of course im still mad—”. Your shirt is lifted up giving Steve a good view for a few more seconds before you drop the fabric down, “how about now?”. Steves lips are parted still looking in the same direction where your breasts were once on full display, he glances up, “what you say baby?”. “Come here Steve”, Steve walks over his hands grabbing your face about to kiss your lips, “I’ll make you more ok?”. Steve pecks your lips a few times before replying, “Ok baby”.

~ he will probably purposely start arguments so you can flash him more often, obviously you'll catch on and ignore his attempts.

Dallas Winston (mama im in love with a criminal)

Dally pulled you into his room at Buck’s obviously pissed over a encounter downstairs. “Why the fuck didn’t you call me over, I could’ve easily handled that fucker” he says holding onto your wrist you guys nearly face to face. You pull back from him forcing him to release the grip he had on you, “He was just having  a conversation with me Dallas. Whats your problem?”. Dally runs his fingers through his hair while backing up instinctively, “ That motherfucker was practically undressing you with his eyes. Let me see him even glance at you again I swear y/n”. Dally turns around and slams his hands on his dresser with his head down. Your fed up, Dally is fed up why not end this right now, you walk up behind him and tap his shoulder. “What?” he says still not looking at you, quickly you throw off your shirt as well as your bra, “Dally can you look at me baby?”. Dally sighs but complies none-the-less, a smirk graces his face beautifully as his hands make contact with your chest. “Trying to cheer me up doll?” you kiss him deeply making Dally stumble back a little. “Im always yours Dally not some random guy”.

~ poor thing is always so jealous and protective over his girl.

Sodapop Curtis ( I want to be that towel)

You canceled plans on Soda, work asked you to stay late, the more hours the better especially because some of that money is going toward Sodas family. You walk into the empty Curtis house where only the shower is running, Sodas clothes are laid on the couch. You sigh and drop your bag down, taking off your shoes and getting into comfier clothes. The water stops running, you walk over to the door and knock on it softly, “Soda? Can I talk to you honey?”. The bathroom door opens showcasing Soda with just a towel wrapped around his waist, “Sure hopefully you wont cancel our conversation next”. He walks past you and into his room rifling through his drawers for socks and a pair of boxers, you tread behind him leaning on the door frame. “I took the extra hours so I could help you and your family” Soda groans because he knows he shouldnt be upset over it. “I know but I can still be disappointed, we havent been able to be alone for weeks now”. You smile lifting your shirt over your head about to ask him to turn around, “Come on Soda can you at least look at me?” you say walking up closer to him. Soda turns around sighing, his eyes widens and he stutters over his words a little at the surprise, “Baby, you look..gorgeous”. Soda hold you by the sides and smiles, “Wanna spend some alone time with me y/n?”.

~Sodapop definitely values quality time

[portgas459ace]

Wanna date, hotstuff?

he finally got a lover and they're the bomb.

about/warning % smitten & drunk ace. he just finished confessing to you. you're also super duper inlove w/ ace, but he doesn't know yet <3 not proofread (it's so late m ybrain can't function I'm sorry). first time actually writing and writing for ace.

a/n % gn it's literally 3am and I did all my missings. It feels like a weight was carried off my shoulders, now it's 3:09am I have classes later and I'm just here writing Abt Mr worldwide, ace <333

# Portgas D. Ace

To say Ace was overjoyed by you accepting his confession was an understatement.

Fire fist was head over heels for you ever since he layed his eyes on you, literally his first thought about you was 'they're the one.' and rambles to his crew (and pops) all 'bout you. They couldn't take a break, while pops was just glad his son found someone he'd love, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't tired of some of his rambling aswell.

Not only was Ace the one happy about you accepting his confession, the others were too. Though half of the reasoning being they didn't have to listen to his rambling about you ever again. Oh how mistaken they are.. but that's a problem for future them.

Now they were holding in their laughter as they witnessed ace, embarrassingly, trying to flirt with you, and drunk, nonetheless. Celebrating his clumsy ass confession and your blooming relationship with him was definitely a good idea.

"Hey, you're kinda cute" Ace drunkenly says as he places his hand on his cheeks, trying to place his elbow on the oak table. Only for his elbow to miss the table, making him almost fall off the chair if it wasn't for his other hand, gripping on the table ledge for dear life. You let out a small laugh at his clumsiness, "Thanks, you're cute too" your reply making his freckle scattered cheeks red, quickly adjusting himself to sit properly.

"Well, wouldn't we be such a pair if we dated. What do ya say? Wanna date, hotstuff?" Ace brings out a goofy smile, half of it looking smug, not really being the best combo but you love every one of his smiles. You couldn't hold in your laugh anymore as you laughed at his lovingly yet really embarrassing display of flirting. Taking this as an ok, the others laughed as well, making Ace side eye them, glaring at them like they ruined his 'confession'.

Taking your chance, you gently placed both of your hands on his cheeks, making him stare back at you with slightly widened eyes. A teasing expression making its way onto your face "Ace, we're already dating." Oh how red his face turned "Really? How was I able to pull someone like you?? When?? How?" One of his hands grabbing onto your hands gently as his face brightened up with an his go-to infectious wide smile leaning close to your face, "Give me details, babe!" he was jumping on his seat, his invisible puppy tail probably wagging right now, "Gimme gimme gimm—" his sentence paused as you shoved meat in his mouth.

"I'll tell you once you finish eating your food, Thatch cooked alot just for your black hole of a stomach" You weren't wrong, there was so much food, and most of it were prepared just for Ace so he might aswell eat it all, or else he'll wake up in the morning searching for food with an empty stomach.

"Promise?" He really wanted to know, "Promise" He quickly complies and starts eating the meat and fried rice that was still half eaten infront of him, only to end up sleeping after a few seconds, crashing his head on the table.

Sighing lovingly as you gently picked up his head, removing the rice remnants off his cute face with a napkin then laying his head on your shoulder, rubbing his black hair as you continued eating your own meal. The loud chatter of the rest of the crew landing on deaf ears, for it was just you and Ace in your little space.

[malereadermaniac]

So clean you could eat off-a me ~ Kaito Momota x Male Reader

Your bf has just gotten out of the shower

Fluffy with a hint of spice!

Cw: food play and armpits

Lazy Sundays were the best

What made them especially good was the fact that not only was every one of your Sundays lazy, but you got to spend each one with your stupidly hot and cute boyfriend

Kaito and you had lived together for ages now, he improved your daily life by impossible amounts

The purple haired man made you exercise woth him, enticing you with the promise of letting you lay under him as he does his push ups

He's quite the cook too - nothing mega fancy, but he's encouraged you to eat healthier food, anythings better than instant noodles constantly

He also looks so sexy cooking for you, he's such a gentleman

Kaito might not seem like a gentleman but he really is one, always making sure you're comfortable and always thinking of you, always putting you before himself

But that didn't mean Kaito wasn't a total idiot, like a fucking goof

Not only was your attractive, lovable boyfriend a little dumb sometimes but he did stupid shit and said stupid shit in the funniest and best possible way

Taking us to the current situation you were in

The hiss of your shared shower could be heard in the background as you laid on your bed playing some random game on your switch

You had already showered, comfortably lying on your bed in some loose, warm clothes - the kind Kaito likes to see you in

You hear the shower stop and listen to the sound of your boyfriend hum some random song

A couple minuets later, your lanky yet muscular boyfriend walks out of the bathroom, steam escaping into your bedroom

He looks fucking Godly, his hair damp and dark, hanging down his forehead

A steaming white towel wrapped around his wide, somehow muscular waist

Yet no matter how thick the towel was, when it came to Kaito, a faint dick-print could always be seen

Kaito was cleanly shaved, his chest and abs, even his arms smoother than butter

The only visible hair on your boyfriend's body was his suggestive happy train - yes, the curtains match the drapes

But when Kaito puts his arms behind his head, he reveals his unshaved pits, a dark purple hue adorning his smooth hair

"Heh- like what you see, sweetcheeks?" Kaito flirts, a smug grin on his face

"Eh I guess so" you tease your hunk of a boyfriend

"Oi!" His face drops into exaggerated upset

You giggle atnyour boyfriends antics as he lays down next to you, his arms still behind his head

Showing off his gorgeous body, muscular yet lean - his shoulders broad and his pecs plushy

" 'm so clean you could eat off-a me!" He teases, clearly trying to get it on eith you in his creative and goofy ways

"Well I'm not going to do that." You firmly say, not even batting an eye to your boyfriend, still focused on your game

In reality, you'd jump on Kaito and eat a 3 course meal off of his body if you could

But you like to seize every possible opportunity of teasing of annoying your lovable boyfriend

"I'm just sayin' ya could!" Kaito continues, leaning his arm on your head, his hairy pit pushing against your face

You decide to indulge your boyfriend, only a little though

You turn off your switch and turn on your stomach to look at Kaito, your head resting on his muscular ribs, his armpit practically in your face

"Well, I'm not going to" you say with a cheeky smile, your hand gently moving to your boyfriend's abs and stroking up and down his torso

"FINE!" Kaito feigns offence, moving his arm down from behind his head

His very muscular arm wrapping around your neck, pushing your head ever so close to his hairy pits, your face plush against your boyfriend's built body

Your hand rests on Kaito's abs as you playfully fight against his grip on you

Kaito moves his hand down to your waist so you take your chance and roll over to sit on his lap

Kaito's eyes widen as he stays lying on your bed while your ass comes into contact with his covered cock

"Fuck baby you're too hot" he mumbles, one of his veiny hands on your fully clothed waist and the other on your ass

Your hands on his naked pecs hold you up, the smile on your face horny yet playful

And as Kaito tries to grind up into you, you hop off of your boyfriend and walk towards the door

"Ah- you're such a tease" Kaito says, a pout on his face as he sulks on the bed

Your chuckle can be heard fading away throughout the house

A little time passes, Kaito doesn't move from the bed, too lazy to change from the now wet towel into real clothes

You walk back into the room to your dumbass biyfriend still sulking on the bed with his arms crossed, unconsciously flexing his crazy muscular arms

His head perks up once he noticed you, and Kaito's face breaks out into a smile once he noticed the can of whipped cream in your hand

He knew immediately what it was for

"Let's test out that theory shall we - if you do say you're soooo clean~" you tease

Cut to now, your almost fully nude body on top of Kaito's, the wet towel still around his waist as you grind your underwear-covered ass against your boyfriend's now fully hard dick

You shake the can of whipped cream in a very sexual manner as Kaito smirks at your actions

You giggle as your boyfriend puts his arms behind his head, laying back and relaxing as he gives you as much surface area as possible to work with

Not even 5 seconds pass before you're squirting the sugary, white cream on your boyfriend

Making a trail up from Kaito's 6-pack, up his pecks, his bushy armpits and finally his collar bone

You toss the can behind you onto the floor and immediately go crazy on your boyfriend

You bend over, still dry humping Kaito's crotch, and start to lap at the cream on your boyfriend's abs

"Hah fuck...!" Kaito sighs in pleasure as you lick up his abs, your hand gently trailing up his waist while your tongue tickles his hard, muscular stomach

Kaito's whole body twitches when you reach his pecs, your mouth licking st your boyfriend's hard nipple while your hand works his other pec

"Jesus fuck (y/n) you're so hot" he groans, slightly grinding up into your covered ass

You giggle and blush at your biyfriends compliments, moving up to his mouth to steal a short yet passionate kiss before going back down to his chest

You follow the trail of sweet cream up Kaito's left pec to his armpit, lapping at the dollop of white cream, his clean, freshly washed pits actually tasting pleasant for once

You move over to Kaito's other, whipped-cream-free armpit but as you go to lick it a chuckle erupts from Kaito's throat

"Haha! That one has no cream on it, sweetheart. D'you just like my pits that much?" Kaito teases you, showing you a toothy grin

You sit up and look down at your muscular boyfriend

As you slowly grind down on his crotch, you moan softly and whine

"I can't help it, Kaitooo~ I just love you so much, you're soooo hot~" you whine, grinding down on your boyfriend's crotch, looking into his eyes with half-lidded ones

You'd never seen your boyfriend sport a blush so quickly

As Kaito tries to stutter out a witty reply, you bend back down to his clean pit, lapping at his dark purple hair, feeling the ridges of his muscles with your tongue

You finally make it to his collarbone, cleaning the now melted cream off of him with your tongue

Once your boyfriend was all clean, you marked his neck with hickeys, kissing his neck as if it were his lips

"Oi... c'mon give my mouth the same treatment" he mumbles through grunts of pleasure

So you find it within yourself to be charitable, taking pity on your horny boyfriend and crashing your lips against his

Kaito moves his veiny, rough hands from behind his head to your face and wait

He guides your hips against his dick as he gently kisses you, his warm tongue dancing with yours

You whimper into his mouth and Kaito devours your hmsexy sounds, rubbing his hand up and down your waist

In an attempt to say "good boy, you're so good to me"

Fuck he loved you so much

And you sure did love him too

[goosimp]

K.I.M J.O.O.N.G.O.O

I love him. No new news. But I fucking love him. I love that adorable little fluffy haired bastard more than words can explain, more than I can talk, more than my entire life. I use pictures because I can't find the corecct words to use most of the time and expressions are the only thing i could show. OK.

Starting from his first appearance

I CAN'T- I-😭😭😭😭😭😭😭twink I don't remember what I exactly thought of him when I first saw this, probs some lanky guy gonna solo some side bitches and save vasco buttt

this pannel

I fucking loved vasco, ok? I loved little vasco and his backstory I am a fucking sucker for gap moes BUT THEN! GOO CAME WITH THIS GOOFY ASS LINE AND I WAS SOLD. SOLD MF. Srs who wouldn't, look at that goofy ass smile, with goofy ass eyebrows, with goofy ass glasses, with goofy ass hair and then that twink ass bod. But this face fr be the I pull when I am with little kids.

I am honestly crying and dying looking at this😭😭😭😭Look at him pull some karate kid move and he is so kjgwbdvk happy and smug😭? HIS HAIR!! HIS HAIRRR💀💀IT'S FUKING GLOWING AT THE BACK LIKE BITCH HE IS MFING GLOWING anddddddd he looks so little here ahkjsgvsgvc

this. I love this. Pookie showed up for the first time and already cracked some eggs. Who wouldn't love him???? First impressions are important. And Kim Joongoo slayed it🦅🦅👄

and this is one of my fav pannels of Goo.If you understand you understand, if you don't then try harder to understand. Because LOOK at that hand, that pose? that smile? like????😭? GAWDDDDDD I WANT TO SQUEEZE HIM SO BAD AND SHAKE HIM LIKLE A MILKSHAKE👹👹👹

currently break dancing to "She's crazy but she's mine'', thanks to hamburger

ANYWAYS i still don't know if I should lable this nightmare or best dream of my life if I saw this on my dream

he still cute tho<3333 but I wouldn't dare go near him, jut a little pat on the head wouldn't hurt tho ;P

that chair was actually me ya'all, he was throwing me😋😋

proof👆

but srs I love this pannel so myuch like he is throwing chair while saying carrying knife is cheap??? mhm Such a cutie pattootie💗💗💗skhdikvckvbsh simply truly adorable you know muy baby😭😭

yes love break all his fingers, break his skull too, break him💓💓💓 how dare that thing touch you. nothing much for me to add here. Slay.

if any one of you dares to say he looks weird. I will come for your throt even tho you are correct but you will be deemed wrong because I said so. ok? lets just all agree he is stuill cute here '3'

And this. Good loard. If this didn't make you stan goo then I don't know hat else will. He looks so chill and goofy eheheheh I love him so much ❤❤ Look at him just munching on snacks while he gets 'accused' my lil meow moew <33333

You might be thinking to just not talk about this, letting it pass as PTJ's old artstyle but NO. He is Kim Joongoo and we love kim Joongoo in amy form of matter or shape. NO KIM JOONGOO PANEL SHALL GO UNLOVED UNDER MY WATCH. Comeon he looks like he might bite but I swear he doesn't. He is just a little silly that's all🥰🥰

coming on to his second appearance

OUR FASHION KING, OUR MESSIAH, OUR BABYBOY, OUR BABY ❤❤❤👄👄💟💟💟❣❣❣💞💞💞💞💞 he was born to slay, if you don't agree go argue with a wall. That long coat >.< i have never seena man wear that long coat and when I searched it, it specifically showed just for women only, baby boy is rocking with that striped socks💞💞💞

understandable I love deadpool and spiderman too<333333

That little heart could end me in less than a second. So if he did talk like how deadpool talks playfully...I am a dead man. I could not be under the influence and still think I would survive a nuclear bomb dropped right above me but this? THIS?? Neh eh I could never survive if I hear him talk like that. I would be a dead piece of meat INSTANT. Gone like the dinosaurs in an instant.

AHHHH PLEASE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHHHHHHRFEBETNRYJN😭😭😭😭😭😭 PLEASEEEEE GODDDDDDD

i miss these type of lips not that I am saying the ones we get now are bad but these are just a whole different typr of beasts compared to now. Look at his lips, i want ti pinch it and then apply lip balm to it the wipe it off and apply lipstick on it. Look at them It's so glossy and juicy like for who did he get his lips so plump for WHORE🤨🤨??

silly goo doing silly stuff<3333

sksksksksk I love how his hair looks here. Reminds me of Donald Trump's hair or is it wig idk but I love how Goo looks here

ew.

seeing this bitch made my mood sour. I will continue the ramble later.

[im-outofideas]

know when to walk away. know when to run.

fandom: criminal minds

w/c: 1943

content: fluff very cartoony goofy fluff

summary: morgan bets reid he can't go a day without rambling. reid takes him up on it.

a/n: i got a little carried away with everything that wasn't the main course but i promise it is there towards the end. open to criticism ☝️, i am still new at this and looking to improve.

p.s the penelope rant was all me i am penelope.

~~~~~~~~

Derek was starting to feel guilty. To an outside observer, nothing seemed unusual. Reid was sitting across from him on the jet, reading some book in Russian. At least he thought it was Russian. When he asked Reid if it was, he made a face which indicated it was not actually Russian. Any other day he would've corrected Derek on the fact it was Ukrainian (which Derek had to find out after looking the book up on his phone - tedious.) Any other day Reid would passionately explain away a passage in the book that particularly interested him. But today he was completely silent.

It was really starting to get to Derek. And he could tell the kid knew he was getting to him. Spencer would check his watch every so often, glimpse at him with a smug ass look on his face, then go back to his book. It was infuriating.

-----

The unsub they had been dealing with was a bride-killer. He targeted women during their bachelorette parties days before the women were set to be married. The only reason for him to pick such high-profile, high-risk women is if it were a compulsion.

“Maybe he’d gotten cheated on during his own bride’s bachelorette party,” Rossi said.

“Wouldn't he have to stalk these women for weeks to know they were getting married?” JJ questioned.

“Not necessarily,” said Morgan. “Wearing a bride-to-be sash like the victims were would be like waving a red cape at a bull.”

“It’s a common misconception but actually, bulls are colorblind. So it doesn't really matter what color the matador waves - it’s the cape’s movement that elicits an aggressive charge response in the bull.”

“...”

Everyone stared at Reid in a silence that stretched for seemingly forever. He shrunk under their intense gaze.

“Um, Morgan’s metaphor still applies here, though.”

Derek laughed the way he always did right before he teased Reid.

“I bet he can’t go a day without saying some completely unrelated fun fact during the investigation. He just can’t help himself.”

“It wasn’t completely unrelated..” Reid mumbled shyly, before speaking to be heard. “I can. But where's the fun in that?”

“You wanna put money on that?”

"Ooh, careful Morgan. Gambling with a Vegas boy is bound to go wrong." Rossi joked.

“The stakes are too unclear. And there would be too many technicalities. We'd argue over what constitutes as irrelevant to the investigation, what counts as a fun fact..” he trailed off as he realized the stares and silence were back.

“Okay, pretty boy. New stakes. I bet you can’t go without talking for… at least twelve hours. About anything.”

“Can I make any noise?”

“Hmm. Nah.”

“How much money?”

“Reid, Morgan, focus up.” Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose indignantly. “We need Reid to talk until the investigation is over. Then you can wager on your own time.” Hotch brought everyone’s attention back to catching the killer. From over his copy of the case file, Reid mouthed to Morgan. You’re on.

-----

It started right after the unsub was processed. Immediately after. As in, while Morgan was putting the suspect in cuffs, he had turned to Reid and said, “50 bucks?”

“Sure,” he replied. “Starting when?” The local PD came to take the unsub away.

“Now?”

Reid smiled confidently in response.

“Great work, everybody.” Hotch walked up to the team huddled inside the killer’s home. “Let’s get out of here. I’m buying coffee. What does everyone want?”

Reid opened his mouth to say something before pursing his lips. This would be harder than he thought.

-----

On the jet ride home, Derek had been trying to goad Reid into saying something. He facetimed Penelope.

“Hey mama, I got a question for you. Here, let me put you on speaker.”

“Oh! I love questions. You know I know everything. What’s up?”

He looked at Reid smugly as he talked, even though the kid was fixated on his book. “Why exactly does ‘Doctor Who’ spend so much time in places that look exactly like Earth when he's got a whole universe to explore? There ain’t no way Earth is more interesting than the entire universe.”

Oh my. The look on Reid’s face was devastating. The only time Morgan would ever willingly discuss Doctor Who, he couldn’t join the conversation. Derek’s heart would’ve broken if he hadn’t found it hilarious.

“...okay. Sweetheart, first of all, he is not called ‘Doctor Who.’ He’s called ‘The Doctor.’ Okay?” Penelope sighed, agitated. Some relief washed over Reid’s face as if that was what he wanted to say.

“Doctor Who is the name of the show. His identity is a mystery and he just goes by The Doctor. So people and alienfolk all go ‘Huh? What do you mean? Doctor Who?’ and that’s why the show is called that. You wouldn't call Captain Kirk 'Star Trek: The Original Series.'" Reid was positively pouting.

"Second of all, I heard about the little challenge you placed unto our baby genius and I will have no part in his torture. Tata.” Penelope hung up the phone.

Derek frowned and put the phone in his pocket. “Damn… I really was curious. Do you mind answering my question?” he taunted Reid with a toothy grin. Reid scowled and returned to his book. A true miracle he had so much self control over his hand gestures.

-----

Two hours had passed slowly and silently. It wasn’t fun anymore. Morgan had seen Reid perk up at least three times to infodump about the books he’s read during the flight, before he caught himself. Each time he was stupidly dejected afterward. Morgan didn’t love it. He hated it. The kid had been shut up his entire life by his peers and bullies. And now by his friends. His heart was actually starting to ache seeing his friend’s gaze become more and more distant.

“Hey, kid. Let’s just call it off.”

Spencer met his eyes and raised a brow.

“I wanna hear about the story. Genuinely.”

Spencer looked down at his watch, then crossed his arms. Morgan scoffed.

“Seriously, you want the 50 dollars that bad? There’s still an hour left before we land.” He didn't want to see Reid be depressed for the entire remainder of the flight. And the longer it went, it seemed less likely he'd be up for talking even after the time limit. Morgan couldn't handle that.

“C’mon man, it’s unhealthy for a brain to store so much information without an outlet. You’ll explode.”

Spencer smiled and huffed out of his nose. His eyes went wide. He awkwardly looked over to the side at nothing.

“..Was that a noise?” Spencer frowned and shook his head. A figmental lightbulb went off over Derek’s head.

He walked over to sit side-by-side with Spencer, who eyed him cautiously. He sighed. Maybe it was inappropriate to play dirty, but Spencer wasn't exactly giving him an option.

“Listen, we can do this the easy way. Where you open your mouth right now and call me an asshole for ever suggesting this stupid bet in the first place. Or we can do this, uh…” he grinned impishly, wiggling the fingers of one of his hands. “..the hard way.”

Spencer’s jaw clenched at the implication. He braved a face of nonchalance and for a moment, Derek thought maybe he wasn’t even ticklish. Or maybe he didn’t think Derek would actually do it. They were in front of their boss after all, their unit chief of the Federal Bureau of Investigation Behavioral Analysis Unit. Not in grade school.

But then Derek saw the red of his ears slowly make its way down to his cheeks and decided he couldn’t help himself. Plus, the kid wasn’t talking.

"Okay, have it your way."

It was childish, Derek would be the first to admit it. But he’d kill two birds with one stone. End the bet, and get Reid to smile a bit.

He wiggled an index finger lightly at the side of Spencer’s neck, which immediately got trapped. Spencer reached up to pull the hand out, before his wrist was snatched and Derek clawed at his ribs.

To Derek’s surprise, Spencer stayed quiet. His physical reaction, however, made up for it. He jerked and contorted so hard his back ended up on the seat of his chair. One leg curled up to protect the attacked side, while the other sprawled over Derek.

He kept his lips and eyes shut so tight they quivered.

“You’re kidding.” Derek was indignant. This was the most stubborn he’d ever seen him. “You can’t keep this up for an hour.”

After spending some time there, he moved up into his underarm. Spencer broke out into an open mouth grin and another spasm. But still no noise.

Derek let go of his wrist - bicep burning from Spencer's struggle against him - to use both his hands to tickle. Something happened that completely bewildered him.

Spencer was laughing. He was trembling, his stomach was tense, and his throat bobbed as it always did when he laughed. But it was silent. How the hell was he doing that? Why was he just taking it? Is he really going to endure this torture for the rest of the flight?

If he could, oh man. There was no way in hell Derek would stop. This was a much better sight than the sad quiet Spencer from earlier. He just wished he could hear it.

Derek was broken out of his thoughts when he saw tears fall from Spencer’s eyes, which suddenly looked much more desperate. He was turning a concerning shade of red. The drawback of silent laughter finally registered in Derek’s brain.

“Woah Jesus, kid! Breathe!” Derek immediately stilled his hands, reaching instead to grab hold of Reid’s face. It was hot to the touch. He quickly wiped away Reid's tears, which felt a bit intimate, but he didn't want the team to see he had accidentally tickled their greatest asset into crying. He figured Reid wouldn't want them to see either.

Derek helped him sit upright. Spencer breathed hard, a smile gracing his face as he peacefully closed his eyes in relief and weariness. His lips shaped in a circle to steady his breathing.

Absolutely infuriating. He would have passed out before he lost. It was a battle of wills, and even when Derek held all the cards, he folded first.

He wondered why Spencer was going so far for something so dumb. If he was trying to prove something to himself, to his team, to all the bullies who shut him up, Morgan would never live down the guilt. He hoped it was as simple as Reid just being a competitive little shit.

He groaned. “Okay, fine! You win, Spencer. You proved your point. You know how to stay quiet. Hell, not even I could…" he cleared his throat. "..uh, the point is, you won. You can have the 50 bucks. Please just talk to me.”

Spencer was still panting, the smile on his face seemed permanent. “You're.. an asshole,” he breathed. “And a cheater.”

“Yeah, I know.” Derek laughed.

“I still won, though. Whew."

“Yeah, yeah..” Relief. He was a competitive little shit.

"Can't believe you couldn't take just three hours of me not talking! You must really love learning."

He scoffed. "Whatever." Alright. The kid was starting to get cocky.

“Hasn't anyone ever told you cheaters never prosper?"

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.” He pinched at his side and Spencer laughed. Audibly, this time. Garcia would call it a swoon-worthy sound. Maybe those were his words.

He pulled out his government issued wallet before his hand was stopped. “Oh. I don’t actually want your money.”

“A bet’s a bet, Reid. You earned it fair and square.”

“You wouldn’t take it if you had won.” Spencer smiled. “Just buy me a coffee when we land. I didn’t get any earlier.”

Derek shrugged. If he took any lesson away from this, it was that the doctor was stubborn. “Alright, fine by me.”

“And listen when I say the whole point of the Doctor’s archetype is to love Earth - specifically humanity - and for logistical reasons it’s just more convenient for the setting to be on Earth or on a planet that resembles Cardiff, Wales..” Here we go. Spencer rambled on, speaking quickly and more with his hands than anything. Derek rolled his eyes, but he sat back and listened.