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#look at me though most of these are not even shipping im proud of myself
elisedonut · 11 months
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i like the concept of hogwarts being like semi-sentient? and having like it's own magic in a way i've seen it around a few times and i really like it
but i really really like the idea of it trapping people in a time loop like just repeating the day over and over again why would it do that? idk soulmates? it likes some students and don't want them to leave yet? something needs to be done before they leave? the school is tempermental and just feels like it?
anyway yeah im thinking about an au where percy just gets trapped for like 6 months if its with someone else and for what reason depends on the day some ideas that have circled in my head include
Percy being fully by himself because the school just likes him and doesn't want to let him go yet
Percy being trapped with Draco because the school decided it would be good for Draco because he did something really fucked or something
Percy being trapped with Remus because i don't know having a teacher involved is fun and could open up possibilities that otherwise would be cut off like easily leaving the school, people believing them a little easier also the idea of a time freeze causing Remus not to turn and as a resulting having a few months where Remus just doesn't have to deal with it interesting also i like Lupin
Percy and all the quidditch captains and head girl and it actually being something that happens every year for 7th years just with how long maybe being random
Percy being trapped with Marcus preferably in a situation where Flint is like obsessed with him(has a crush because i love it) and it maybe even being his fault they're trapped was it an accident or intentional? i don't know
Percy being trapped with Oliver in a situation where they are either already together or like really close to it because one of (or both of) them are scared of things changing after graduating even though they are excited about their futures' i feel like it would 100% be an accident for this one like the school went oh? don't want to leave aright! i can do that for you!
Percy being trapped with the twins or any of the siblings i just think it would be interesting and force them to interact a bit which would be good for them preferably in a situation where it's not a very well known thing so all of them are confused as hell
Percy not being sure if Luna is actually trapped with him or just being Luna for like a month because he does keep seeing her in different places and when talking to her she sometimes says stuff that could be referencing that she knows that day is repeating but she's Luna and a second year so he's just so confused (bonus points if she really isn't and it's just like her being just more in tune with it or something) (also can easily be tacked onto any of the others because it's funny)
Percy being trapped with Harry because i like anything that forces them to get to know one another and because i think while Harry would not be like ecstatic being trapped with Percy specifically but would be happy about not having to leave Hogwarts so soon especially if this happened first or second year
if you made it this far through my ramblings here's a little Percy picrew i made
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wildissylupus · 8 months
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Hi! i know you already get those asks but i really want to vent: i think them making pharmercy canon now would not be satisfating for me - im a lesbian, i feel like there was no indication since the game release that they have anything for each other, if anything mercy was very close to genji, they were very sutil with that, and all pharmercy 'flirt' lines are so recent feels like rushed. One of my favorite lesbian ships ever is Caitlyn and Vi from league, they construed they relationship for YEARs, from partners to lovers and just NOW in 2023 after years and everything they confirmed both as lesbians and even in Arcane they doing great with their romance. another exemple is leona and diana and killjoy with reze in valorant, compared with overwatch feels like they dont know how to develop a organic/fresh relationship between their female characters from the game, rigth now looks just pandering for me.
And yeah I do see where your coming from, Gency has had years of build up in canon while Pharmercy has just started being pushed. Though because of the fact that in the past we've seen OW writers say that they ship Pharmercy I don't think it pandering exactly. I think it's more wish fulfilment.
I also agree with what you're saying about what happened in other games when it comes to LGBTQ+ rep, those ships have had build up. To the point where I, a person who doesn't play either game, know what your talking about. I myself am also a lesbian and I have recognized Pharah as lesbian coded since I first got into Overwatch, which was back in 2016, they've had plenty of time to add things like voice lines or lore to this relationship but they haven't. I looked up their old Overwatch 1 interactions for this post and basically none of them have that flirting vibe that the new voice lines have, most of the personal ones being Mercy saying how she thinks Ana would be proud of Pharah and Pharah just going "are we talking about the same person here?"
Also I've stated it briefly in other posts on Pharmercy but I just don't think they would work, at least they wouldn't stay a couple for a long time. A big thing that people forget when it comes to Pharmercy is that Angela has a lot of issues she needs to sort out, one of those being her terrible communication skills and her ability to say goodbye to people. The reason this is important is because Fareeha has abandonment issues, and we see how Angela's inability to communicate already affects their relationship in "As You Are", we clearly see that Angela leaving without saying goodbye affected Pharah.
This also culminates into this being a story where one person has to wait for the other to sort out their issues, which is something I don't want for Pharah. This plot line with Gency works because it's mutual. If Pharah is going to be with someone I either want them to be dealing with something that Pharah can actually help with (like Symmetra and her inevitable identity crisis) or for her partner to be just as sure of herself as Pharah is (like Sombra or Kiriko).
Again I don't want Pharah to have to wait for Angela to get her issues sorted out, she already has to wait for her mother to come back, she shouldn't have to wait for her romantic life either, and Angela's problems are not something Pharah is really equipped to help with. We actually see how Genji and Angela talk while Pharah tends to offer silent support.
I don't hate Pharmercy and under different circumstances I think they would work, however, not only are the writers kind of fumbling to get me invested but Pharah and Mercy have so many things working against them on a personal level. Not only that but they're fundementally different morally, I think a lot of people forget that Angela doesn't like helix calling them mercenaries with no regard for civilian life, while knowing full well that Pharah works for Helix. That kind of difference would work in a friendship but that would not go well in a romantic relationship.
Anyway, again I don't hate Pharmercy, it's not one of my top ships but I do like it. However, what has been presented in canon either just doesn't get me invested or I just don't want to see happen in terms of characterization (again Pharah shouldn't have to wait for her romantic life in the same way she needs to wait for her family).
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coiled-dragon · 7 days
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20 questions for fic writers
Omg big tag game :D thanks for the tag @thetentaclecommander ♥
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
146.... 146!!!!!!! Its taken me 12 years to get that many...
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 
468,189...... 8D and 1/4th of that... was all from Last Year, 2023, the year of Dracfield
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Well if I list all of the ones I have written for, its a pretty big list. But like... The Passenger, Renfield/Dracula media in general, Dead by Daylight, Stranger Things, Rise of the Guardians, Encanto, Gravity Falls, Pokemon... Lots of other misc horror media, too~
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
GOD can I skip this?? Because its a fast way for everyone to look at me and condemn me because the one thing all these fics have in common are problematic ships around One Type of Problematic and im anxious but like. Fuck it.
Living with Max - Camp Camp, MaxVid longfic, abandoned (For now) - 1893 Kudos When Dealing With Demons - Gravity Falls, BillDip Longfic - 1116 Kudos Late Night Visits - Gravity Falls, BillDip - 875 Kudos Keeping Secrets - Gravity Falls, BillDip - 798 Kudos A Sort of Welcome Distraction - Gravity Falls, BillDip - 754 Kudos
I aint linking them and if you go find them mind the content lmfao
5. Do you respond to comments?
I usually try to!! Sometimes! To at least half of them ;w; sometimes I just dunno what to say...
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
HAHA..OH BOY... that would be Si Tú No Estás Aquí an Encanto fic with double main character death so like. Heads Up if you read it. Proud of it but man it hurts
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 
God I have to think uhhhh.. Probably Father's Day, a DBD AU fic that's tooth rottingly sweet, imo. I know Babies Ever After isn't for every character but I really do hold it close to my heart for Evan and Meg ;3;
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not in a while, but it's not uncommon. I write everything from Incest to underage to bestiality to snuff to necro... so it usually sets people off. Doesnt happen as often as it used to though
9. Do you write smut?
Looks at 85 of my 146 fics being marked Explicit
Yea
10. Do you write crossovers? 
Sometimes! But it has to be an idea that reeeeally grabs me
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 
Not to my knowledge
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 
Yep, have had some translated to Chinese, Russian, and Spanish
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 
Yep, at least one published, partially finished long fic
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Thats a cruel thing to ask a bitch with ADHD
but I think it'd be BlackIce (Jack Frost x Black Ice) from Rise of the Guardians
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
HAHA ONE?
I have dozens that are half done or just a line in a document... Id love to finish them, but most will never see the light of day
16. What are your writing strengths?
God. idk. Tell me what my strengths are??
I'd like to say 'capturing characters voices'. I think im good at that...
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Probably writing action. I can see it so cool in my head but writing it down?? uggghghhghh
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I don't usually write dialogue in other languages BUT I have done it for Encanto fics! I usually try to find someone who speaks the language if I'm not confident in writing it but with Spanish I know my way around it enough to feel relatively confident.
19. First fandom you wrote for? 
Harry Potter waaaaay back 2011-ish? on FF.Net lol. Always loved Drarry and Snarry, you can see even back then I had my Tastes figured out XD
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? 
idk man, I really don't. I've written a lot I enjoyed at this part, fics Ive gone back and read more than once! But I just cant make myself Pick one or even a top three.... So you'll JUST have to read all 146 and figure out which one YOU guys like (just avoid the ones that make you wanna die inside I wont blame you!)
I! AM not gonna tag anyone! Do this whole questionnaire if you want!! I love you guys! Thank you TTC I love you too!!!!!
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aroaceconfessions · 2 years
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I hope someone relates to this little story lol if you do then remember you are not alone and there are many who will feel the same
I first found out that asexuality even exists when i was like 11. I was driving with my family and being an annoying little sibling, i was laughing at my brother for not having a girlfriend. He said then "well, maybe im asexual" and i asked him what it is. He said its "when you dont want to be in a relation ship". It really stick to me because even in my childhood i was really romance repulsive, not really understanding why people would get into relationships in 4th grade and stuff like this that no one from my surroundings felt. I decided to google it and then i found out about all the stuff about aro and ace labels. I came out as asexual to my friends who didnt really take it seriously but honestly i think i was also gaslighting myself because im pretty sure i was aro this whole time. I was scared to even say to myself that i am aromantic such as when i made myself pride pins i also made aro one that i then repainted to just rainbow colors. It felt like i would just admit that i cant love and cant be in a relationship and with that saying i was a freak because no one felt like that. Whole 2 years i spent avoiding it but then i saw a post saying that you CAN have relationships. Aro is an umbrella term. I also found out how important it is to correct any missinformation in labels. Im still too scared to look at more specific aro labels because i might find somethink about myself and im really scared of change. I identify as AroAce but even though i know that underage people can be aroace i still have those toxic thoughts saying that im just not understanding myself enough and not old enough and all those stuff even though im nearly an adult lol. But for most of the time, im proud to be aroace so much. I helped couple of my friends realise they are on the spectrums too which is awesome! I will find the strength to find my labels soon enough too.
Sorry for any spelling and/or any other mistakes, english is not my first language and its 1 am right now. I was just thinking a lot and wanted to get it off my chest. You are not alone.
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rex101111 · 10 months
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I'd love to see some commentary on Swipes of Sword and Fan, I'm curious when it comes to more variety-type fics where the inspiration for different chapters comes from and the like. And here's a ⭐ for anything you'd like to talk about in general about whatever!
Thank you!! Looking back im actually pretty proud of this little collection im slowly building up, though to be honest I didn't give it too much thought when I started.
It started out as a bit of a joke, the first chapter was basically just me posting one of the drabbles I sometimes write when somebody sends me a quick description. I just rolled with the premise while staying as close to those two crazy criminals as I could. I posted it as the first chapter of a "collection" half jokingly as an affectionate jab at a trend in fanfiction that is kinda dead these days but was damn near impossible to avoid just a few years back.
People taking an entire prompts list, anywhere from thirty to a hundred, and using that to make a chronologically loose collection of stories based entirely around one ship or group. A select few went the distance and did the whole bunch, but most of them stopped at around the 15 mark. Which is plenty impressive, sure, but it always struck me as evidence that fanfic writers have an awful little habit of biting off more than they can chew.
A habit I'm sure long time readers of my work will no doubt know that I share. The amount of times I said "IM GONNA MAKE A LONG FIC OUTTA THIS ONE JUST YOU WATCH" to myself only to get distracted later on by scheduling issues or just getting attached to another idea... Ah well.
So, yeah, I posted that first chapter as a bit of a jab at myself "oh yeah sure im going to make a collection out of this, the whole nine yards!...probably gonna make it an even 30, be surprised if it hits 15", and the first few chapters came to me like lightning. Since I established the setting in the summary, I pretty much gave myself the freedom to make any story I wanted so long as it was in that very vaguely defined period of time.
Any story. Any at all. Whatever weird idea came to my head with these two that I could fit on two-three pages. I kinda went nuts. Most chapters were born from a quick idea I had like "hey so what if anji got jealous?" or "how do they deal with bounties anyway?" and others I had to really sit with like "...what were Baiken's parents like?" or "tying shoes must be a pain in the ass" or "oh hey what if Anji actually did feel guilty and afraid of his actions hurting the one person he cared about" and so on.
It's gotten to the point where I'm actually fairly certain I will hit that 30 chapter mark at some point. I'm not putting myself on any time line, I just post whenever I have a suitably dense and short story I wanna add. And boom.
and im gonna use the star as a chance to rant a little about how petty I personally can be about comments. First off, I love getting any kinda comment at all, if its a simple "OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS" or something along those lines, I will gobble it up like its delicious because it is.
But! Personally speaking if you really wanna make me happy as a writer, I really REALLY like those comments that pick a sentence or a segment and go "OH I REALLY LIKE THIS PART HERE'S A QUICK RANT WHY". Been this way since I wrote weird OC shit on DeviantArt back in the day, craving that very specific "you did good" validation.
Seriously tho, if a reader doesn't have it in them to write a Formal Review of my fanfic I'm not gonna hold it against them. I probably won't answer because I'm honestly genuinely awkward like that. But the dopamine shot of "Comment on AO3" lasts longer if the comment is also longer, you know? I've read comments that made me dance in place and pump my fists like I won a marathon. that shit rocks and readers who take the time to indulge my need for overly specific praise are a treasure.
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tklpilled · 1 year
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ty for the tag @cantsaythetword <3
fandom faves of the year !!
favourite new fandom: i guess bsd considering i've been hyperfixated since april LMAO but mp100 is also a vv good one!!
favourite new ships: skk, satosugu, and akiangel
favourite anime/tv show: chainsaw man !!
favourite movie: the only good ones i watched didn't come out this year so. none
favourite character: do Not make me choose i'll cry
favourite soundtrack: the csm soundtrack goes So hard
favourite book/manga/comic: TGCF OMG i havent even finished it (if anyone knows where i can read the whole thing translated i'll love you) but its so good
favourite game: i dont think i played any that came out this year!! been wanting to play legends arceus though
highlight of the year: i am forgetting literally Everything that happened this year. reigen sans queen of england was definitely a fun one though
community faves !!
favourite tumblr moment: goncharov was certainly a time
favourite fanart: this, this, this, this, and this are some :)
favourite fic: oh this one is. very hard .... but some that i find myself revisiting often are -if we're being honest by thequeenofwhump -now and forever (and before then, too) by radstarmuffin -difficult patient by stargazingly -birthday tickles for the child(e) by anonymous
favourite ask game: gonna be honest i remember absolutely zero of the ones i reblogged
top achievement as a creator: i hit 500 followers !! which is so cool ily guys
best fic of mine: in terms of impressions, on ao3 it was looking out for you and here it was kiss me hard before you go, which is wild because i wrote it last week, but if we're talking fic that im most proud of, im a fan of my akiangel drabble here
most underappreciated fic of mine: dandelion didn't do very well on ao3 </3
post that got more popularity than expected: that akiangel fic. what the hell
something on my blog i changed: my layout. numerous times.
next year !!
something i didn't do this year but would like to next year: commissions!! i plan on opening them soon :D
goals for next year: i feel like i didn't write much this year until these past few months, so writing more!!
2023 releases i'm looking forward to: botw2 definitely!! as well as the new seasons for bsd, jjk, tgcf, and sxf :)
spreading love !!
shoutout to people who made my year better: of course all of my friends and partners!! i love you all sm <3 and shoutout to those mutuals i don't regularly talk to but we're still chilling together
(too nervous to tag anyone so just go for it lmao)
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jangyeevns · 1 year
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i used to rp a lot with fleur and when she pulled me into her ‘inner circle’ it was insane the way she made me (and two others. she pulled me into trio on two separate occasions and apparently it’s something she did a lot) crave her approval. i cut off all association with her when i realised what type of person i was becoming but looking back on the things she pulled me into makes me in no way proud of the person was and i massively regret helping fuel her spite in an attempt to get her approval. im not brave enough to come off anon and deal with the backlash from talking about fleur but i just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone 💖
it's the way the radio silence for a few days had me chilling and out of a drama-centric headspace 💀 but another wordy post incoming !
i've come to realize she likes taking a couple of "like minded" people ( literally could just say you find one thing x muse did irksome and you're in ) under her wing and then pulling some fucked up shit that, with the echo chamber established, you often find yourself agreeing or seeing things through her perspective more than ( usually ) your own. then, once done with you because you no longer offer her something she wants ( a ship, complete validation, staying out of her way for a ship, etc ), she'll either try to use your fleur-fogged words against you in some way or just be a fucking two-faced nightmare. so it's super telling that she kept you close with two trios that you were both part of, and i'm sorry that she put you in such a position.
you're totally right though, about who you're corrupted into becoming in tandem with her warped narratives, and all it does is make you question everything when the fog starts to dissipate. like, why did i let that slide? why didn't i press further or be more neutral on x situation? did i do right by my other mun friends, my muses and myself? or did i just feed into her narcissism and petulance? it's hard to cope with, especially as somewhat-adjusted adults who have watched the rpc or other communities online go up in flames because of people like her and thought we knew better, especially as ( speaking for myself here ) someone who's been through the fucking ringer with fleur-adjacent people irl and online and actively tries to learn from those experiences just to find myself there all over again.
that being said, it's so fucking easy to want to blame it all on her, but you do have to own your role in those situations – which is something she'll never do, as she never sees herself as the problem, and that makes me feel a thousand times lighter as it just proves you aren't like her. you aren't a horrible person for wanting to believe someone you considered a friend, a confidant, what have you. you aren't a horrible person for not catching it early on, as even the most skeptical people can be manipulated should someone plays their cards right. you aren't a horrible person for anything that happened, but you were at one point complicit, and acknowledging that and feeling remorse for it? that's what makes you better, better than her and a better version of yourself.
and it's totally okay that you don't want to come off anon, you aren't alone in that because i know others who don't feel comfortable being exposed to her nonsense again – hell, she's blocked on my disc for the same reason and i already fessed up to sending an anon or two alongside some proof when her name was brought up last week. i guess i'm just beyond caring, like anons sent by her and other shit stirrers don't hurt me at all, even if my anxiety appears initially because of fucking course it does, my meds don't even do much for me anymore anyways GKDKGKD but that's all to say that this shit isn't about her, it's about other people who can fall victim to her antics and then feel silenced because her friendly façade overtakes a gc, who end up in these trios as well and feel as though the other person is there only for fleur and will take her side over yours ( which is usually utter bullshit, trust me ), who then become her topic of the week to all of her servers, group dms, etc with conveniently cropped screenshots and fairy tales that make her look like a victim and you psychotic.
i'm glad that you've cut her off and reflected, and i'm proud of you for speaking up for yourself in any capacity ! she's almost fallen off of the face of the earth and, while she obviously won't be gone for long if at all, it means that exposing her has paid off.
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weirdmageddon · 3 years
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five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago
i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me
IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.
i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.
if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that
when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.
but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.
i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.
to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example
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see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:
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even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.
the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”
but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).
and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”
even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”
these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”
dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.
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there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.
what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.
and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?
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Veteran Author of The Month: June 2021
The featured veteran author for June is also a co-admin right here at UBFL: SquishyCool (or @im-immortal )!
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SquishyCool can be found on AO3 and FFN under the same penname.
When asked what got her into Bethyl and what the fandom means to her, she said:
I’ve been a hardcore TWD fan since the show began airing, but that’s because of my love for zombies. In all honesty, I didn’t really ship anyone for the first 3-4 seasons. I kind of shipped Daryl with Carol, but then it became clear that it was a platonic relationship and in all honesty, I just wanted to see them both get some action lmao. Then the prison fell... and in those first moments of “Still,” when we see Beth and Daryl running and running and finally collapsing on the ground, breathless and exhausted... the butterflies started. Something clicked and I immediately thought, “uh oh.” The rest is history, especially considering how “Still” and “Alone” played out. I can’t explain how or why I’m still so heavily invested, especially considering my last 2 fandoms only kept my attention for about 2-3 years each, but here I am. And I love it! I am so incredibly grateful for the Bethyl fandom because not only has it helped me improve my writing so much more than I ever could have imagined, but it has also introduced me to some of the most amazing people, including someone who I now consider one of my very best friends! It’s my happy place :)
For her personal fic rec list, she recommends:
In The Maw by ronsparkyspeirs
Way Down We Go by LeathernLaces
Surfacing by lindentree
Wild Things (The Moonshine Poet) by Abelina
The Gift by Feliz
The Man Who Can't Be Moved by burningupasun
New Experiences Series by wallflow3r
Whisper Softly to Me by taylorcatherine
Interstice by leftmywingshome
To Love Like a Man by Seraphique
Death, Death (i defy thee) by alamorn
In My Blood by Courtneyshortney82
Let the Good Times Roll by gutsforgarters
Resolved by Allatariel
the weight of these wings by peachthorns
all my spaces are filled with you by annabeth_writes
A Little Jailbreak with the Little Jailbait by wandering_gypsy_feet
between the beginning and the end by sheriffandsteel
SquishyCool’s Works & Personal Thoughts:
Dirty Fingernails and Dried Blood Summary: What happened during the months between "Still" and "Alone"? Beth uses the last pages of her diary to write down every detail of surviving with Daryl. Thoughts: My first Bethyl fanfic. It holds a special place in my heart for that reason, though it is pretty rough. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it entirely in first-person. But I do plan to finish it one day. There are some scenes I’m particularly proud of, and I still have a long note full of ideas and plot points.
Most Wanted Summary: After Beth’s mother and half-brother are murdered in a drug war, the godly veil on the Greene Family operation is lifted, and law enforcement comes down hard. In an effort to protect her family, Beth commits a heinous crime that could mean life in prison alongside them. Now everyone she’s ever trusted is in police custody and her only chance at freedom is to get as far away from Atlanta as she can... Thoughts: Well, this is a must-read if you like my writing. I hope to one day convert this into an original fiction and maybe get it published, but I need to finish it first LOL. I got the idea from ONE scene of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” and from there, it exploded into a huge mystery thriller (with lots of romance and smut). I’m really really proud of it, and I’m scared I’ll fuck it up tbh, so I keep putting off continuing it. But I really need to get back to it because I really want people to see what I have planned! (Also, this fic is the reason @courtneyshortney82​ started talking to me, so that alone is pretty historic lmao)
The Crow’s Song Summary: Beth and Daryl spend a few more days together in the funeral home and come to terms with all they've lost along the way. But soon, they must decide what comes next. Thoughts: This fic... this fucking fic. It took me a full year to write. I made numerous edits. I even got a little depressed while I was writing the last two chapters, and my bf didn’t know why until he read what I’d been writing lol. It’s honestly the Bethyl fic I’ve always wanted to write but just didn’t know how. I’m still really really proud of how it turned out.
Carnival Games Summary: Daryl is a traveling carnival worker and Beth is a barely legal farmer's daughter looking for a night of fun when the carnival comes to town. Thoughts: Omg this fic is so fun!! One of my first Bethyl fics, and one of my first Bethyl smut fics. Short, sweet, a little funny, and a lot hot. I am still impressed with myself on this one, especially considering how much my writing has improved since lol
Breathe. Please. Summary: Beth shows up at the Hilltop. Alive. Daryl can hardly believe his eyes. Until she's lying in his bed, an arm's reach away. And he can hear her inhaling... exhaling... inhaling... Thoughts: Another “fix-it” that I’m proud of. Tbh I didn’t think it was anything all that special, but a lot of readers have said it’s one of their favorites, and some say they reread it regularly, and nothing makes me happier than hearing that, so I am extremely proud.
picking @ scabs Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, being with them just isn't right. But what wouldn't you give for it to be right? Can someone like Daryl learn how to swallow his pride and stop repeating the same mistakes over and over? Can someone like Beth learn to fight off her demons and allow him to get close enough to hurt her again? How can they stay away from each other when it's all too easy to fall back into one another? Picking a scab will leave a scar, but they both have so many scars already... what's a few more? Thoughts: This fic is very, very personal for me. It’s like my “therapy” fic. I have poured some of my deepest feelings and struggles into its chapters, and the whole idea that got me to start it was that I wanted to find a way to navigate and cope with ending my 3-year long relationship with my emotionally/mentally/sometimes physically abusive ex. I still have a lot of fond memories from that relationship, but even more so, I have painful memories. Not to mention, going through your early 20s as a woman in the modern day is a fuckin’ trip, so this kind of explores that. It’s really self-indulgent, I think, but I’m really proud of the smut in it. And more than that, I’m proud of the response. I’ve had a few people message me or comment to say that they’ve felt all those things, or have experienced similar things, and it’s really just... relieving. I put my heart and soul out there, and what I got back was “you’re not alone.” So yeah, this fic is special. I wanna finish it soon, but I have to be in A Mood to do so. 
In Toto Corde Summary: Despite a million reasons not to, Beth and Daryl fell in love. Then he made the ultimate sacrifice in order to keep all of his promises. Now, facing unimaginable consequences at the hands of witch hunters, Beth has no choice but to use her powers to bring Daryl back from the dead. "He won't be the same..." Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC. I love it so much that I had to rewrite it after like 4 or 5 years. And I already started on a sequel that I really hope I’m able to finish. Though it doesn’t have many hits, and I don’t think many people have read it at all, which I understand since it basically is entirely focused around Daryl being killed. But damn, I’m proud of this one, and it was really fucking fun to write because witch!Beth is just... the best.
risk it all (part 1 of in for a penny, in for a pound) Summary: Daryl Dixon has a pretty decent life, all things considered. He's got his own place. A good dog. A few friends. Even a girlfriend. He keeps himself out of trouble. Until he starts texting Beth Greene. And hell, if he ain't about to risk it all for this damn girl. Thoughts: This was supposed to be one short multichapter fic focused entirely on smut and social media. Then I got on a roll and it ended up being the beginning of a series! This fic is purely fun. Nothing too serious or heavy. I write it when I’m in a Good Mood because it’s my little happy place. I have plans for about 4 more fics before the series will be finished!
Don’t Make Me Haunt You Summary: So here's the thing: Merle Dixon is dead as fuck. And as it turns out, Beth Greene is the only one who can see or hear him. Which is weird considering she's never met or even heard of this guy, let alone anyone with the last name Dixon. That's her first problem... Thoughts: The reception to this fic has absolutely blown me away. I had no idea anyone would want to read about ghost!Merle haunting Beth and forcing her to solve his murder with the help of his grumpy brother. And it was all inspired by an episode of South Park lmao then I started really getting into it and now it’s just like, my super fun fic where I explore a range of emotions and all kinds of religious beliefs and different mythologies and I can build the world however I want and goddamn I just love writing this fic. Plus there’s a podfic for it! I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this fic and how proud I am of it :)
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hanijunk · 3 years
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Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.
Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!
Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO
Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.
Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO
I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol
Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao. 
I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo
I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.
This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).
I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.
THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP
First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck. 
That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).
Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.
Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications. 
Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.
Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma. 
Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential. 
But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.
Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.
If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*
And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL
As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.
Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes! 
Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.
I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more. 
There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.
Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes. 
TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--
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ratherbefangirling · 3 years
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hiya! May I get a BTS ship? please and thank you! my personality type of INJTA-A and I'm a Gemini! Year of the Tiger!
Little about me, I am 5'3, green eyes and a brunette. I am actually colored blind, with my blues greens and purples, so I 100% think my eyes are blue. But Ive argued with the eye doctor before, and they've said they are "most definitely green". I am rather opinionated and confrontational, I am not scared nor shy away from standing up for someone. Ill speak my mind when it's appropriate, I've learned that sometimes it's just best to save your breath and your words. I love older music, 20s 30s all that jazz, and even jazz it's self along with other genres. Im not much of a TV shows kind of person, I sometimes watch some shows on HULU, but I'd rather be outside doing something visiting new places. I have taken painting as a hobbie, I love to go on trails and LOVE TOO COOK MORE THEN ANYTHING. Plus I like to take photos. Am also a huge sarcastic dick, that it has gotten me in trouble at times. And sometimes I don't even realize I'm being a said dick, I am rather honest and blunt. I'd rather someone get an honest opinion that comes from myself, from a good place then from someone that wants to do harm an be a bully. Cuz sometimes it's not best to sugar coat things, cuz then how are you supposed to grow?
I'm an extrovert but sometimes need to stay in to charge but not always. I'm rather loud at times, and am not afraid to dance in public if I see others dancing or shout compliments across the street if I like someone hair color, clothing etc. Or even just go play on the playground or just have some fun regardless of what others think.
The oldest of 4 kids, so I have a mothering side to me with others that are younger then I or even older. I'd use to skip school and steal food or other necessities for my siblings. I really did put their own needs before my own. So I really took the roll of the second parent, and sometimes it makes it difficult to find others that relate to such a thing.
Though I am rather hard on the outside, I am very much soft (though it doesn't come out often) on the inside. I can be rather quiet, and reserved, I'm rather nice and people have told me I'm great with conversation and a great listener. I'd be the first to approach someone if they look uncomfortable or are shy at a large event, but I'd be the LAST to do karaoke.
I do have four pets, three rescues beside one that I did buy. I love nature, and I work a lot to be able to provide for my pets. Can't have them with no toys or treats or not looking their best. Same with my siblings, I buy them a lot of things, and make sure they have what they need.
I'm sorry this was so long! But thank you and have a great day!
Hey @animesllut666,
You sounded wonderful, manifesting a great week for you.
The person I ship you with is Jungkook.
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Magic, wasn't a word foreign to you any longer born in the slums picked up by a passing magician who could sense great levels of mana* in you when you tried to steal from them. In your defence you belonged to a not so well to do family and tried to save your lunch money by stealing any food you could find or going hungry.
Now as a high level witch working in the government things were different. You could cook all the food in the world. Buy all the original Music instead of replayed discardes pirated ones. Not only could you provide for your family, you also were a proud owner of your pets who you spoiled to your hearts content.
You were enjoying your normal day off when you recieved the summons. Jin was at the hospital. Jin or Kim Seokjin was your benefactor, the magician who you had stole from who had later become your guarantee.
You rush to the healers tower. You find Jungkook there, your arch rival and his guarantor Namjoon who was Jin's close friend.
"What happened?" You ask.
"He overworked himself to a near mana deficit."
You gasp. Mana deficit could have killed a wizard of lesser calibre. But Jin was no lesser wizard infact he belonged to the division called bull proof knights. <pls don't kill me>
"Does anyone have a mana reserve that we can provide Mage Jin." The healer asks.
Jungkook volunteers. You have always been envious about his high level of mana... among other things.
You and Jungkook had come around the same time. Always competing. You remembered the wide innocent looking doe eyes and introverted boy. Over the years he had become an a prankster and a tease. You remembered the day you had completely removed him from your life. The day he was taken as a member of bps. How him and Jin grew closer almost like brothers.
Jungkook can barely stand as he comes back the healer advises bed rest. It's decided Namjoon would stay with Jin and you'd drop Jungkook home.
"Cant" He whimpers and collapses without giving you his address. With no other choice you take him home.
Jungkook inhales the scents of delicious food. Licking on his face wakes him up and he finds himself with your furry buddy.
"Ah, you're awake would you like something to eat?" You ask.
He nods you set the table for the two of you. You've prepared porridge for him and a hearty lunch for yourself(to treat yourself for facing such a difficult situation nicely).
While you think he'll leave he decides to stay over you're secretly glad you don't have to stay alone with your thoughts that will drive yourself crazy with worry.
You both sit and work on your documents at the dining table. At night you sit under the stars sharing hot chocolate.
"I kinda hate you." You confess.
"'I know."
"Who even says that?"
"You don't hate me you hate loosing to me."
"I guess that's true."
The night passes and things get better. In a few days Jin is well enough to work. Life is back to normal. Except you're kind of in love with Jungkook and he's in love with you and you're kind of crazy for each other and it's just like magic.
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Mana - magic level indicating aura
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strawberrycamel · 3 years
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Fic Writer Review
tagged by: @aj-itated <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 30!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 46,254 words
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? based on my Ao3 and my old ff.net account: 3 - Fairy Tail, BNHA, DP (though I haven't written for Fairy Tail or bnha in years)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? in order, that would be How to Take Out a Ghost by TooFineFoley, Bad Luck Tuck: The Sequel, ignorance is your new best friend, What Could Have Been, and, surprisingly, A Connoisseur of Fine Art (all DP or DP crossover fics)
5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for? both they're siblings, your honor and Big Boy Tucker. i can't choose, they both need love
6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? i used to respond to them as often as I could at the start, but i kinda slacked off sometime around the beginning of summer classes. I used to respond to them because they made me really happy and i wanted to let the commenters know I did actually read it and am very grateful for their comments, but after a while it became... idk, draining? I felt bad about leaving the same response to each commenter and got caught up in my own head so I just kinda,, stopped all together. I wanna start responding again at some point, but uh, probably not anytime soon.
7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
oh definitely One More Time; I think that's the only fic I've written without some kind of happy ending (anything in the Not Your Son series doesn't count since it's not finished yet :3) and I can't tell you how much it pained me not to make it happy. Don't get me wrong, I loved writing that for going angst week but hole-y shit did it fuck me up
8. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you’ve written? I do write crossovers! The craziest, I think, is my Strange vs. Work: Wife Swap AU, it's not done because I'm seriously stumped for it right now, but it's essentially a DP Marvel crossover where Clockwork and Dr. Strange are forced by a TV host ghost to switch bodies and mentor the other person's 'apprentice'. Peter and Danny have to help them get adjusted to their new environments/bodies and they all have to figure out how to turn things back to normal. This whole series is meant to be based off the show 'Wife Swap'. I have fun making Stephen suffer >:)
9. Have you ever received hate on a fic? not that i can remember? like i think it was more grammar and dialogue punctuation nitpicking on my old ff.net fics, never hate
10. Do you write smut? if so what kind? not really, but i have a singular wip that im working on that's definitely spicy
11. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no? (i was working on something a while ago but we havent finished so, I'm going with no)
13. What’s your all time favorite ship? i don't think I really have one. Usually I just read whichever fics have cool summaries or tags and just dive right in, ships be damned. Lately I've been reading a few TimKon fics and I've been thinking about Dark Ages, UFS, and Gray Ghost stuff a lot over the summer
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? oh, oh god. I'm going to say it and I'm going to feel real shitty about it because it's such a good fucking concept, but I can't bring myself to write anything more than what I already have written and all the notes I just randomly add onto it every once in a while. It even has a title: "Ectoplasmic Pudding".
It's a DP DC crossover fic wip and the plot is about Danny being called by Batman to help with a kidnapping case he suspects to involve ghosts; he needs Danny's expertise and help to capture the ghost. Danny agrees and he meets Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson) on the roof of the police station (after dropping face first onto it because he got blinded by the bat signal). They go by Batmobile and arrive at the scene of the crime where Danny confirms a ghost is involved. A bunch of different scenes of Danny and Robin having a blast while Batman's trying his best to stay on task and then, eventually, they find a warehouse where the box ghost is interrogating a bored looking Mr. Trand, the victim, about some fancy box commissioned by Vlad.
Danny figures out this guy is Bertrand in disguise and since Bertrand's essentially on vacation, they both agree to lie about how they know each other. And then I got stuck around here, but I imagine it just ends up being a series of dumb events where Batman, Robin, and Danny have to 'protect' Bertrand until they catch Boxy and throw him back into the Ghost Zone while the disguised ghost tries to make the most of the rest of his vacation.
Batman and Robin definitely don't believe whatever lie Danny came up with to explain how he knows Mr. Trand, but they go along with it until it's revealed in probably the worst way possible and leads to both of them trying to take the former kidnapping victim to the GIW while also trying to keep Danny from stopping them and barely listening to a word he says (maybe they think he's being threatened somehow or being controlled or smth, idk). Absolutely no clue how that whole fight goes, but in the end Danny kicks Box Ghost into the Zone and Bertrand is told very explicitly never to bring Spectra to Gotham.
15. What are your writing strengths? evoking emotion in my writing? yeah i'm going with that
16. What are your writing weaknesses? planning out plot ahead of time. I can write outlines and write a bunch of notes about what i want to include, that's not the problem. My problem is that all my motivation to write just drains away the moment I have a somewhat concrete plot planned out for a fic- this applies to one-shots and longfics exactly the same. And past that, sometimes I'll make one change to the planned plot and feel like tossing the whole thing out the window and going freehand without the 'constraints' of an outline or anything ..........
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? try not to offend anybody? like, look at good examples of how others have done it and do a lot of research and stuff. Also, be aware that not everything will translate perfectly from the original language you wrote the fic in and whatever language you're translating it to.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fairy Tail
19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Hellbent. A few others come close, but I seriously cannot express the joy i felt writing that first chapter (and when I'm done my minibang fic, I literally cannot wait to get back to it)
20. What fic are you most proud of? that's a tough one, there are a bunch i fucking adore but i think it's tied between The Big Dipper and ignorance is your new best friend
Tagging: @guardianrex, @shinygoldstar, @cleanlenins, @princessfanonanona, and @ghost-pasta!
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ziracona · 2 years
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This is from something you reblogged about YouTubers, like, a looong time ago, but i was talking to a friend of mine who didn't see the issue w being a fan of YTbers/Streamers/ect. I said the problem was that often fans of said people often forget that those are..well people. And will put them on high platforms and act like they can do no wrong/ will defend them no matter what they do. They said that people don't really do that, and just wanna have someone to go to to have a good laugh w/o the hassle. And for a moment i was literally confused and i blurted out 'They don't know you. Y'all aren't friends' without stopping myself from thinking it might be mean? I didn't want it to be mean, im just honestly so confused about Streamers and their fans?
Yeah. I think it’s like with celebrities—if you enjoy a particular actor, and are happy when you see them in films, no problem, but if you start getting emotionally attached to Gwyneth Paltrow, and thinking of that as a person you like, not a person whose skill in their craft you enjoy, you get in some troubled waters, both because it’s only a matter of time before she starts making NFTs or has a scandal reveal, and because you literally know nothing about her but gossip and public persona. You have no personal experience w them. Being a fan isn’t a problem if you’re normal. But if you put a personal stake in a celebrity, they will disappoint you, and you’re also going to get weird eventually and possessive and too invested in someone you actually have no claim to. I could watch every GP movie on the planet and read every interview, every book, follow and like every tweet, and she still wouldn’t owe me anything. Doesn’t know me either.
The problem w youtubers and streamers is bigger in a lot of ways, for a couple reasons. First, YouTube is one of the most toxic places on the entire internet, and even at its inception, Famous Youtubers were a dangerous game to like because they always eventually turned out to be racist or something extremely disappointing. YouTube fame seems to really speedrun the whole ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely’ gambit. They’re more accessible 24/7 is a big own, same w streamers. You can ‘spend hours and days’ with them—which is a creepy way to look at it, but nevertheless the way I’m sure many people do. If you sit and listen to someone talk for two years, it can get very easy to convince yourself you know someone. This is not the case. I’ve heard probably a year of Griffin McElroy talk, and he seems like a really cool dude, but do I think I know that and if it came out on the news he’d just started a company puppy farming, would I refuse to accept reality and bend over backwards trying to Stan? No. I’m not an idiot. I know I haven’t been in a friend’s house for 365 days chatting, I’ve been listening to Curated choices of content one-sided. Nothing wrong w liking people and enjoying their work, but getting too invested happens like the plague. I think the other biggest reason is age range for fans of yt/stream celebrities.
Honestly, public attachment forms to celebrities have always gotten weird, but more and more w the internet, and it’s not healthy.
Your friend is crazy though if they think people /don’t/ happily go rabid for youtubers and streamers. They regularly bully and harass—even threaten or actually hurt—anyone seen as competition or an enemy, and way too many get obsessed. No clue why they can’t see how creepy it is, especially when the yt/stream person is a minor, to talk about shipping them with their real human friends, or to like spend forever talking about or giffing their clothes and talking about them like you’re their proud mother or girlfriend and commenting about them growing up or looking great and memorizing their wardrobe like it’s textbook stalker behavior. And it’s not healthy to be that obsessed w even the life or journey of someone you’ve never met. Rooting for an Olympian to take gold is nothing at all like making an 8 paragraph take every other night about an internet celebrity maturing where you analyze everything they ever said to illustrate how you think they think. You’ve never met them, and that’s terrifying behavior. Writing a thesis about Prince Zulu the fictional character whose life is presented in narrative is fine. Writing a thesis about YTBoy as a person when you literally can have no clue who he is, is entitled and dangerous thinking.
The internet has really blurred boundaries, and privacy, and fucked over relationships. Like I have /never/ seen a community ready to get just viscerally full of hate and bad blood, than Discord groups. Way too many people get ferally protective of internet celebrities. With youtubers especially like. Honey if they’re big names, they are /all/ eventually gonna come out as bad people—YouTube just seems to chew up and spit folks out. And if people want to enjoy content there’s nothing wrong w having favorite content. But way too many people get parasocial and yeah I know that’s a term Tumblr hates using like gaslight but we’ve swung too far and misuse has turned into an excuse to shut down talking about it at all, it isn’t a good thing. Tying your worth or your self or your happiness to someone you have no relationship with is setting yourself up both for tragedy, and to take actions in which you will objectively be the villain and hurt other people. God I wish people just went there for a chill good time, and I’m sure some do, but the problem is the vast and vocal majority do not. ​Also, even less rabid fans tend to refuse to stop giving people a platform and supporting them once it comes out they’re like a nazi, and that /is/ a problem. Both YT and Streams are constantly going platforms, so it’s not like watching a movie with a shit actor there. It’s intentionally continuing to keep someone at the head of their craft because enjoying their videos is more important to you than not siding w a nazi. And way too many people refuse to put any amount of politics or ethics in how they consume content.
Anyway, there’s a lot more to be said but I’m gonna stop bc I’m not even sure you really wanted anything but to vent. But yeah. Ain’t bad to enjoy content or have faves, but don’t act like it’s something it’s not. It is a casual connection between performer and consumer, where you have a seller you like. If you couldn’t accept it & then shrug it off emotionally, handle it responsibly as far as your response, and move on if it came out the person in question was a pedophile or sexist or a bigot, then you have a problem and it’s on you to fix that. And as evidenced by the appearance of 100000 teenage defense attorneys on Twitter every time a Youtuber does something awful, way too many people do.
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gringolet · 4 years
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hi why do you ship gawain with lancelot? not trying to start shit im just curious
God so this is a true fact but I’ve been thinking about them since sophomore year of high school (i'm a college sophomore now) so this is going to be lengthy and involved. But i think Lancelot and Gawain have a really interesting dynamic as well as a lot of support in text which i think makes them compelling.
    In a lot of ways they are equals in a way neither of them is with anyone else-- they are, in the vulgate at least, the two best knights in the world, the two arthur trusts most and who are famous even among other good knights. Its almost isolating, that level of renown, and you see that Lancelot in particular is uncomfortable with it, though they both at times have stories of trying to escape their own names. Of course they would understand each other in a way no one else could.
    Despite the fact that Lancelot quite literally steals his place as number one, gawain is never resentful of this, never upset to lose to lancelot. In fact he seems very happy to sing his praises to anyone he meets, like in Lancelot and the Hart with the White Foot, where he says of lancelot that “He is the best knight alive in the entire world, and moreover the most handsome.”
    In the stanzaic morte, he tells elaine of shallot that 
“Such a leman as thou hast one,
 In all this world ne be no mo.
There is no lady of flesh ne bone
In this worlde so thrive or thro,
Though her herte were steel or stone,
That might her love holde him fro.”
Or, translated,
Such a love as you have, 
there’s no better in the world.
There is no lady of flesh or bone,
In this world so lucky or stubborn
Though her heart were steel or stone,
She could stop it  from loving him.’
In the vulgate hes constantly running after lancelot, happy to play sidekick as long as it means lancelot's company. He pretty infamously says this about lancelot:
Then Sir Gawain thought a little, like a man who believed he would never be well again. “If God were to grant me my health,” he said, “I’d immediately wish to be the most beautiful maiden in the world, happy and healthy, on condition that he would love me above all others, all his life and mine.”
I think this is really interesting because its not a devotion gawain shows to anyone else outside of his family. Hes oddly protective of lancelot, considering he can very well fend for himself usually. In the dutch hart, he literally tracks down and kills a man who hurt lancelot, before tying his body to his horse and dragging it around like achilles. He also rescues and heals him in morien, gets the whole court in a tizzy looking for him after a battle with galehaut where he spends a year searching, drags lancelots poor cousins all over looking for him after a tournament, freaks out when he goes missing in the hart (: “He lamented more grievously than anyone ever will, or had ever done before, because he thought he had lost Lancelot, the daring knight.”) like jesus gawain calm down.
He explicitly forsakes his devotion and duty to the country in favour of lancelot; in morien, hes called to take his place as king because arthur is gone, and he refuses in favour of, you guessed it, running after lancelot.  In chretien it is said that 
“Now I will tell you the truth, and you must not think I lie, that Gawain would not wish to be chosen king, unless he had Lancelot with him. “
And he lies to arthurs face multiple times in the vulgate and morte to hide lancelot's various crimes.
Speaking of crimes, theyre both uh, well. Literal serial killers. And you know its good to have hobbies in common in a relationship. No but seriously they represent a lot of the darker parts of knighthood. From lancelots bit with the proud knight in kotc to gawains… what can be only described as massacres in the dutch texts. They both have very odd relationships with death, with gawain so familiar with it by being surrounded by violence from a young age that it no longer affects him, while lancelot is almost the opposite-- its very distant to him. 
I think thats another reason i like them; theyre similar in a lot of ways but in just as many they are opposites. Gawains whole deal is being charming, manipulative, educated and good with words. Lancelot is in contrast, especially in chretien and the vulgate, at his most inept in social situations. You note that in the hart, its gawain that has to talk him out of the marriage he accidentally agreed to (“ But he does not at this time wish to marry you-- you must understand...”) etc.  while gawain is centered at court in a web of political alliances, lancelot is a fair unknown, who can and does disappear for years and generally avoid court when he can. I think they work well as a team because of this.
Lancelot certainly think so, at least in the morien: Quoth Sir Lancelot: "By the Lord who made me, and who shall be Doom's-man at the last day, come what may thereof, since Sir Gawain rideth hence 'tis not I will bide behind!”
He isnt as quotable outside of one specific scene ill get to later, and most of what he does say is in aside to himself, like the lengthy speech he gives in knight of the cart while debating to himself why gawain has failed to rescue him, and if this means gawain doesn’t love him (“He ought indeed to receive your aid whom you used to love so devotedly! For my part I may truly say that there is no lodging place or retreat on either side of the sea, where I would not have searched for you at least seven or ten years before finding you, if I knew you to be in prison. But why do I thus torment myself? You do not care for me even enough to take this trouble.”) trust me it goes on like this for quite a while. 
On a side note, i think its a bit reminiscent of a scene from the vulgate where gawain thinks that lancelot is in  love with elaine of shallot--
 “That night he thought a lot about Lancelot and said to himself that he would not have thought that Lancelot would have aspired to leave his heart in any place that was not nobler and more honourable than all others. ‘And yet,’ he said, ‘I cannot really blame him if he loves this girl… (he goes on in debate with himself)...
    That night Sir Gawain slept very little, because he was thinking of the girl and Lancelot,”
the morte specifically calls gawain the man lancelot loves most in the world, according to a prophecy of merlins. Then, the kicker: he kills gawains brothers on accident, gawain swears to kill him in revenge, and lancelot…. Refuses to kill gawain, or even to renounce love for him. When asked about the fight, he says:
 “I do not know what the outcome will be, but I do know that if I were the winner and ought to cut off his head, I should not be able to kill him for all the world, because I think he is too noble. Moreover, he is the man, out of all those in the world that have meant anything to me, that I have most loved, and still do,”
Gawain forgives him on his deathbed and writes a letter, the entirety of which i implore you to read. He begs lancelot’s forgiveness and for him to return from france and see gawains tomb, “for all the love that was betwixt us”
I think you could interpret this as a very passionate friendship, certainly, but i am gay and so i think they are too. Not only because of the texts but because of the fact that their dynamic is fun and interesting and they work well together.
Oh, and if anyone was wondering why i call them remarkable, here is another quote from the vulgate, following the first fight with gawain:
‘It is certainly remarkable of you,’ said King Bors, ‘to love him so deeply when he hates you mortally.’
‘Find it remarkable if you wish,’ replied Lancelot, ‘but he will never be able to hate me so much that I stop loving him.’
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hi sweetheart !! may i please req an ateez and bts personality ship ?? my description was SUPER long (I GOT CARRIED AWAY </3) so you can cut my request at the personality part when posting my ship! tysm in advance <3
I’m an ‘03 liner that’s 5’9.5 (basically 5’10) with dark skin, jet black hair (currently in long twists rn!!), and i’m on the curvier side (esp hips and my thighs) !! some of my favorite features are my plump lips (and i have a beauty mark near the inside of my bottom lip!), my long legs (they’re 40.5 inches long and look so good in dresses and skirts <33), my kempt and pretty fingernails, and my eyelashes !!! i’m a virgo (and surprisingly i get along with all the signs, i cant think of a sole zodiac sign i DONT mix well with but i love cancers and virgos <33) ! i’m also an ambivert all the way! i often come off as cold/shy/quiet when meeting new people (one of my closest friends avoided me for a month before meeting me because i looked so intimidating LMAO), but once you get close to me i turn into a goofy (heavy on the goofy im never not laughing) bundle of warmth and love: i will never stop texting them the <3 emoji every morning or buying my friends/s/o their favorite starbucks order when they need a little cheer-me-up. also, lots of people say i’m mature and carry myself well, but around my friends i’m one of the most goofiest people ever (probably bc my face will literally be 😐 one sec and then 🥰 the next second when someone makes me laugh <3)
tysm in advance!!! Have an amazing day/afternoon/evening!
@anpanseok DARLING! I hope you love your ship <3 I'm actually really proud of this one, you'll have to let me know what you think! <3
In ATEEZ, I ship you with one and only demon San!
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(I thought you'd like that gif ;) )
Okay, when you were describing all of the things that you would want in the relationship, I thought of San due to how clingy and affectionate he is with the other members of ATEEZ. He is a Cancer, which is good because that is one of the star signs that are compatible with yours. I don't believe that the age difference of four years would be that much of an issue, especially since San acts younger than he is most of the time anyway. I feel like most men are intimidated when their female significant other is tall themselves, but he is tall himself and I feel like the fact that you are taller is kind of one of his favorite things about you? One of his other favorite things about you are your curves, he always puts his hand on your thighs during movie night at the boys' dorm or in the back pocket of your jeans when you two are walking into KQ Entertainment together. When you wear dresses when all of you go out to fancy dinners together, he has to hold himself back because he ADORES you when you wear dresses! You said you're am ambivert, I feel like he relates to that in some form of way, like I feel like there are certain situations where he feels a bit more introverted about. Sometimes Hongjoong has to scold him because he texts you so much, but he can't stay mad at you when you pop into the building with their favorite Starbucks drinks and hand-made lunch boxes for them. Just as you always support his creative endeavors, he always returns it for you tenfold and when you are talking about issues you care deeply about, he gives you his full attention and stares at you lovingly. Not just San, but all of the boys, come to you whenever they are dealing with stress and they just want someone to talk to because you are so amazing at giving advice and supporting them. There was a time when a sasaeng approached you, San, Wooyoung and Jongho when you were doing some late night grocery shopping when another ATINY stopped her, causing an argument and nasty words to be exchanged. Let's just say, you shut that sasaeng down REAL quick when you heard some of the things she said. One day you woke up and found a present that San made for you, a mixtape of all of your favorite songs from all your favorite genres of music, along with a little keychain that had tokens of all of the states you had visited. He wholeheartedly loves you and he makes every effort to support all of your dreams. When he has days off from work, the two of you make a blanket fort in your living room and watch old episodes of Forensic Files and Law & Order: SVU, whilst surrounded by fluffy blankets and a couple of his favorite plushies. His life an idol doesn't afford him much down time, unfortunately, but he always makes time for you and you always have the craziest adventures with not only each other, but all of the other boys as well. Squishy San will want all of the cuddles, have you SEEN how affectionate he is with the other members?! Also, him in all black outfits.... YES, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. One day he was visiting your apartment and he surprised you with matching beaded pearl bracelets and he never takes it off, not even for performances. The boys don't really think nothing of walking into the bathroom to brush their teeth whilst one of the others is showering, that just comes with their busy schedules and their dorm life. Let's just say this: Mingi wasn't able to look you in the eyes for two weeks because he did just that, not realize that you had snuck in and stayed the night, and were currently going to the bathroom whilst San was in the shower. Your camera roll is not only filled with silly pictures of San that you've captured, but of the most magazine worthy, model pictures you have ever been lucky enough to take. He accepts you for all of your flaws, and helps you to try to work on them, however that may be and you do the same for him.
In summary: You both are simps for each other and I AM HERE FOR IT.
In BTS, I ship you with Namjoon!
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Another tall boy for you, I got you! You both are Virgos, but I looked it up worried that two Virgos would clash, and it said that they would be very intuitive with each other and would understand each other! The age gap is quite large, I don't know how okay you are with that? I know everyone has different preferences. He approached you first when he saw you at the mom & pop coffee shop/cafe around the corner from your apartment, and he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Another man who I don't think would be bothered by your curves (men can be shallow dicks), I think that is his favorite thing (same as San) about you. Not even in a sexual way, I feel like his hands would always end up on your butt without him even noticing. Most of the time, one of the other boys will point it out when all of you are hanging out together, and he will be proud that he has a significant other like you, but he almost might become a shy mess about it I feel like. I feel like he can get jealous, just because you are closest to Jungkook in the group and you often pull pranks on the other members together. There is never a shortage of laughs when all of you are together, pure crackhead energy if I've ever seen it, just non stop jokes and banter between all of you. You were able to get time off from work and were actually able to join them (their managers were surprisingly chill about you tagging along? CONFUSION?) on their tour around Europe and you had so many memories. You actually brought along a Polaroid camera that you found in a little store one day when the two of you were shopping, and you ended up having to buy an extra suitcase on the trip because you took LITERAL hundreds of pictures of all of your adventures and the tour shenanigans. He has childish tendencies, I feel like he would love to play Roblox with you? I feel like he would take a very mathematical approach to building things, that's just the vibe I get from him. He often stares at you when you're doing your makeup in the morning, he finds it fascinating and he even asked you to do his makeup for some of his shows. His makeup artists weren't angry, luckily, all of their staffs absolutely adore you two together. He is all up for adventures, I feel like he would chicken out at the idea of skydiving, though lol. You keep stealing his sweaters, which he low-key highkey is SO happy about because he loves the way that you look in them. The size difference is only three or four inches (I've seen people say he's 6 feet, but then others say he's 6 foot 2, WHICH IS IT?!), so it's pretty easy to sneak kisses from him whenever you want them when you're together. If he sees you struggling to stay awake whilst studying, he'll softly close your book and drag you over to your bed for a couple hours so you can take a quick nap to regain the energy. I don't really know his temperament that well, he has to be rather even-tempered to deal with those hooligans he calls the rest of BTS, so I feel like you wouldn't have that many fights. You both are always striving to help each other to be the best versions of each other you can be. You joined the boys on vacation at a lake house and one night you were having dinner and he blushed after you said something cheeky to him, causing you to say to him, "You look like a cute tomato when you blush, my cutie pie." in front of the other members. Needless to say, he turned even more red and the boys teased him mercilessly for the rest of the night. Don't know how the cooking would go (this boy is a DISASTER in the kitchen), but you would have fun learning new dishes. He would brag about getting a dish right, and you quickly praise him but also say, " and that's why you a big ass head.", causing him to die laughing. He is the very definition of a hard worker, and I feel like he would love being praised and doing the same for his significant other, so I'm glad that you said that you liked the words of affirmation love language, because GET READY. He's definitely been buffing up (I SCREAM WHENEVER I SEE PICTURES OF HIM NOWADAYS), so
his hugs would always be the best things, so warm and comforting. Don't know how you feel about children? We've all seen that VLive where this idiot literally bought baby shoes because he thought they were cute, so I think he would definitely want children down the road in your relationship if you were both comfortable with it. Best father and husband award goes to him.
In conclusion: SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMPPPPPPPPPPPP.
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imagineyourworld · 3 years
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Could you match me up with someone from the Star Wars universe ? Thank you <3
Name : Rayanne
Age : 22
Which gender you wanna be paired with :
Male, i’m heterosexual , pronouns: she/her
Occupation : i’m artistic so i’m studying to be a graphic designer/photographer. i also love to write so maybe someday i will write my own book or series. i really want to be involved in the film industry.
Hobbies : writing, drawing, taking photographs, reading, studying world, art and war history.
Personality (a few strengths and flaws) :
i’m on the quiet side but i’m not against talking to others. i’m an observer and i feel i work best behind the scenes and i’m happy to do so. i’ve been described as kind, funny, mysterious, and cozy. i love kids and i really want to be a mother. i’m patient and i’m a hard worker and any time i’ve ever been a part of a team they are always relieved that i’m there and express it verbally too. i always work my hardest even if im exhausted. i guess you could say i’m the backbone of the group. i always comfort others too and reassure them that things will be okay. i’ve been told i’m emotionally intelligent.
Flaws ? i would say my temper. It takes a lot for me to be bothered but if you bother anyone i love i lose my temper pretty quickly. i also tend to hide what’s bothering me and push through my struggles alone. i don’t like to talk about my feelings with others unless it will help them have an example on how to deal with their own struggles. i put others before me so i guess i fail at taking care of my own mental health too. Idk i feel as a leader i can’t show that i’m struggling myself.
Specific character I don't wanna be paired with :
Greef Karga. idk he feels too much like a grandpa to me haha. Also anyone who is married such as Anakin or Han. No aliens either so just a human or clone.
Anything else that might be helpful :
i struggle with anxiety and depression. i dress in dark colors but also femininely. i have long wavy brown hair and full front bangs. i have green eyes and light tan skin. i’m short. ( 5 ft exactly haha ) In the Star Wars world, i think i would be a medic or maybe even a scout of some sort since i’m quiet and can go unnoticed. i’d prefer knives and a blaster as my weapon. Also i get shy with intimacy in public so i’m more private about that. Hugs and hand holding in public are fine but making out in public makes me anxious.
Hi Rayanne,
Thanks for your request! Based on what you told me about yourself I would ship you with Hunter. You share a lot of similar characteristics, such as a similar work ethic and loving kids, as well as not really wanting to talk about your feelings. Hunter would be able to calm you down when your temper gets the better of you and he'd be there whenever things get rough. I hope you're happy with your ship.
Love, Charlie
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Your shift was almost over when the door to the medbay opened once again and Clone Force 99 entered. As soon as you recognized them you expected the worst, after all you knew how rough their missions could get, but a quick glance told you that none of them were hurt too bad, the worst seemed to be the black eye that stood out on Echo's pale skin. "Is this just gonna be a checkup or are there any injuries hidden underneath your armor?", you asked them. A proud grin appeared on Wrecker's face as they all settled down on various surfaces across the room. "None of us got hurt", he announced, to which Echo responded with a grumbled insult. You just nodded, put on your gloves and got to work. It turned out that Wrecker had been right, aside from a few minor scratches they had been lucky. One after the other you released them and told them to get some food and rest until only Hunter was left in the medbay. "Hey", he greeted, his voice much softer now that he no longer had to play the leader for his brothers. "Hey yourself", you repeated. You rolled the chair you were sitting on over to the bed Hunter was occupying. He leaned back until his weight rested on his hands, a small smile on his lips. Just before you reached him you looked around one last time, thanking the force that everyone else, even the droids, had vacated the medbay before the Bad Batch arrived. You stood up from your chair and let yourself fall down on the bed, right next to Hunter, who watched you with a small grin. "Long day?" "The longest", you confirmed. He chuckled as he pressed a kiss against your cheek. "That's too bad, I've been hoping to keep you up a while longer." Before he even finished his sentence a yawn left your lips. It really had been a rather long day and though you liked the idea of spending the evening with your boyfriend, glad he had returned to you safe and sound, you just couldn't keep your eyes open a second longer. "Just let me rest for five minutes, then we can do whatever you want." With another yawn you leaned your head against Hunter's shoulder, which resulted in him resting his own head on top of yours. "You should go to bed", he said after a few minutes of blissful silence. Slowly you turned your head to look at him. Maybe he was right, but you wanted to spend a few more minutes alone with him, and no matter how much you wanted to, you couldn't take him back to your room without risking anyone catching the two of you. "In a moment", you mumbled. "Tell me about your mission first." With a soft smile and an exaggerated eye roll Hunter obliged, he never could deny you anything.
"And that's basically it. All the way back Crosshair kept complaining about the cold, I don't think I'll ever get him to go back to Hoth", Hunter ended his story. Though he hadn't been talking long, it had been a short mission after all, you had fallen asleep over the course of his report. Slowly and carefully, as not to wake you, he lifted your head from his shoulder and moved your body until you were laying down on the bed. In the corner he spotted a couple of blankets stacked on a chair and brought one over to you. It was too thin and too rough, so unlike the soft blanket he had once brought you from a mission to Alderaan, but it would have to do. As he covered you with the blanket and tugged it around your shoulders he could hear you mumble in your sleep. Though most of it were sounds rather than actual words, he could make out his name, followed by a quiet "love you". A soft smile appeared on his face. He didn't know what he had done to deserve someone like you, to deserve your love, but he knew that he would to whatever it took to prove himself worthy of it. "I love you too, cyare", he whispered before he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Sleep now, you need it." With one last glance at your sleeping body he turned out the lights before leaving the medbay. One day, he promised himself. I won't have to leave. I can fall asleep and wake up next to you. One day...
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I hope you enjoyed this small trip to the medbay with Hunter.
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