#look i can take only so much flirting before i start to ship a motherfucker

[zhukzucraft]

you're rubbing off on me

[bugsbunnybisexual]

Only fools fall for you, only fools.

Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.

Random Baffy thoughts

Hi motherfuckers,

I have no idea what's gotten over me today but I cannot, for the life of me, stop thinking about Baffy. So much so that I made this blog on a valuable Friday that I should be using for productivity. Holy shit.

Keep reading if you wanna hear my spiels.

First, some easy-to-digest headcanons:

Bugs is 26, Daffy is 28

Bugs is bisexual biromantic, Daffy is demisexual biromantic

Bugs is Egogender, Daffy is Nonbinary and will describe his gender as "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Bugs Black, Daffy Black-Desi, specifically Bangladeshi

Daffy knows some broken-ass Bengali

Fools by Troye Sivan is a song that Bugs will sometime listen to and contemplate his romantic choices. LMAO but he will never tell Daffy that-

Bugs listens to a lot of Hip-Hop and old-school Rock. Daffy likes classic music because he thinks it makes him smarter. And older Desi music, like old movie ballads

Bugs has OCD. He's experienced depression before but it doesn't really flare up anymore

Daffy has OCD too. Don't @ me, all my faves get OCD okay? Along with that he has generalized anxiety disorder

Bugs likes reading about History & Physics

I like to think they have a sun/moon thing going on with Bugs being the sun and Daffy being the moon. All my ships have this dynamic, I know.

IDK there's more I can't remember right now...

Bugs' Flags:

Daffy's Flags:

Now, my basic idea for them...

If you notice in TLTS, Bugs doesn't HAVE to let Daffy stay with him, but he does. Though Daffy is basically a freeloader, Bugs never complains. To me, I definitely see this as Bugs being interested in Daffy in a more intimate way than one might think. Bugs has the ability to be roommates/housemates with other people who may have a job or whatever but Bugs doesn't particularly care. Moreover, Bugs is shown to be annoyed of others easily while being very patient with Daffy. You see what I'm talking about?

Meanwhile on the other side, yeah I know TLTS is comedy and everything - but - if we suspend the comedy for a second, I would like to imagine that Daffy actually has issues. Now, this has been supported by official/canon media before. Particularly in Back in Action. Daffy is shown in that show acknowledging that he feels people like Bugs a lot, but don't like him.

So, if we suspend the comedy for just a second, and talk about Daffy's issue, for some goddamn reason I LOVE and absolutely LOVE the idea that Daffy has difficulty understanding why Bugs loves him. And he questions it a lot. And gets upset over it. And Bugs can't really explain it, either, other than just saying "I like you for who you are. You may be a pain in the ass sometimes but that doesn't change the fact that I enjoy your company, I enjoy you."

I also like to imagine that their relationship is nowhere near perfect, sort of similarly to TLTS's approach to Bugs & Lola, where they are somewhat aware of the fact that they're a couple but continue to have miscommunications & difficulty. Except with Bugs & Daffy it's a lot louder, with a lot more accusations, but they make up in the end, because they have a mutual understanding that isn't obvious at first sight, but the more you see them interact, the more you realize they understand each other a lot better than it seems on the outside.

And then comes the lovey-dovey stuff.

Oh the lovey-dovey stuff.

I'll be putting them under a read more, it gets intimate.

So, Bugs is clever. He doesn't really exercise his flirting skills with Lola in TLTS, partially because Lola is more interested in him than he is in her. But in the classic Looney Tunes you can see how good he is with flirting with people of all genders and how easily he catches people off-guard with witty flirting. So, I'd like to imagine that doesn't change with TLTS Bugs, either. He just uses this type of flirting on very specific people. And Daffy is definitely, definitely one of them.

Daffy has a big but fragile ego. It's easy to trip him up with the right words & actions. And as I said, Bugs is smart, he knows Daffy very well. He knows exactly what to say to get to Daffy, and he loves using this as an advantage, especially when there's a fight between them.

There is a LOT of Bugs just using Daffy's words right back at him in a flirty way. Lots of shutting Daffy up with a kiss, lots of intimidating leans from Bugs, and a lot of flustered Daffy who doesn't actually know what to do with real affection and love because he barely knows what that is.

Daffy stuttering, having difficulty making eye-contact, being unable to believe what's happening, blushing, and just falling deeper in love every time Bugs flirts with him. And don't get me wrong, Daffy LOVES it, but he doesn't know how to react or just...how to compute. He short-circuits.

And Bugs enjoys that a lot. He loves seeing Daffy all flustered, confused, seeing his ego disappear and only his vulnerable and emotional self being visible, seeing Daffy being unable to stand on his feet flippers because of how nervous he is, refusing to look Bugs in the eyes until Bugs connects their foreheads...it gets Bugs just as flustered as Daffy is. He's just a lot better at controlling his emotions and not wearing his heart on his sleeves during intimate moments.

CW // Suggestive or NSFW

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And of course, this dynamic continues onto bed, as well. Bugs loves showring Daffy with compliments as they fuck, only for Daffy to be completely flustered and unable to compose himself throughout the whole thing. Sometimes, if Daffy has the energy, he will grab Bugs, kiss him and tell him to shut the hell up. Which will usually lead to Bugs giggling and throwing a "fine, sure, we'll play it your way" and finally letting Daffy take the occasional lead.

Their physical intimacy will involve nibbling and hickeys from Bugs' side, tiny little bites hidden all over Daffy's body under his fur. And Bugs thinks Daffy gives the best head. Daffy's beak is sensitive and squishy, and easy to tickle.

NSFW over //

Some random intimate stuff:

Daffy really likes PDA but has difficulty expressing that he'd like to do things like holding hands in public. Luckily, Bugs understands and makes his moves bravely.

As they get older, Daffy humbles up and gets a lot better with his emotions and starts being a helpful househusband - cooking, cleaning, helping with chores and just making their home a nice environment. Bugs really appreciates this. Daffy understands later that he just doesn't like the corporate world, which is why he never liked working jobs.

The wedding is huge because Daffy wants it huge and Bugs actually exercises his popularity and riches for their wedding day. Daffy is genuinely so happy that Bugs feels greatly satisfied about his decisions by the end of the wedding. Also Bugs wears that one tux with a skirt wedding outfit. You know the one. Daffy can't decide between a tux and a wedding dress and flips a coin which lands on wedding dress, LMAO. It's his mom's old dress. Yes it is a Sari, if you thought it was a western wedding gown then the L is on you.

They play a lot of Troye Sivan, BTS, Pink Sweat$ & Kehlani on their wedding. Why? Because I said so, that's why.

...and that's about it!

Yeesh!

GO WATCH THE LOONEYTUNES SHOW. IT'S GAY, I PROMISE YOU.

[hteragram-x]

LOCEIT HCs...

...because I don’t see nearly enough posts about these two, so here is my contribution. (With some supportive Creativitwins in the background.)

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Their flirting (especially before they got together) is a competition. Not like Roceit flirting when they try to one up the other partner with cute gestures and suave compliments. Nope. With Logan and Janus it’s the game of pretending to not flirt and to not understand flirting until one of them becomes too flustered or reacts like a normal person and, therefore loses.

Janus would, for example, say something nice and innocent about Logan’s intelligence. And Logan only smiles nicely and says: “thank you, that’s my job” in the most neutral way possible. Janus starts escalating the compliment, by saying how much he likes a man that is smart. To which Logan answers politely that he’s glad they are on the good terms. And so one and so forth.

At one point either the person who is complimenting gets frustrated and shouts something like: “I just think you’re hot, goddammit! Take the compliment!” or the other one blushes too hard to hide it and has to admit that they are more than flattered.

The amount of romantic tension in the air is so high that it often involuntarily summons Roman.

He later quietly sits nearby with his phone and texts other sides to make bets who wins this time. Usually he quite likes these battles of patience, but he still calls it: “Who’s more like a fucking human being” contest. Whoever loses in the eyes of Loceit is the winner in Roman’s.

...

Janus still likes to flirt with everyone around without any shame, but they know it’s only a game. If the other side shows the slightest sight of feelings he quickly steps back and fervently explains that it’s just how he is and he didn’t mean it romantically.

If Janus and Logan are on the same side of the discussion Logan actually encourages Janus’ attempts to convince someone (usually Roman), by using flattery. He’d prefer to win using just logic, but if that’s not enough he can use a charming snake to gain some support. If they are on the opposite sides Janus tries to change Logan’s mind with flirting, but that never works unless he combines it with actual good arguments.

When Logan and Janus team up it’s almost 100% guaranteed that they’ll win. At least academically and from the audience’s perspective. That doesn’t necessarily mean that Thomas will listen to them in the end.

If they lose they usually disappear together for some time. The others think that they are simply blowing off steam e.g. by destroying things or yelling (or doing other stuff, according to Remus) and they just hide to not ruin their reputation. In reality they stay together tangled in blankets mumbling how frustrated they are. Basically two braincells recreating the “No talk, me angy” meme.

...

Janus likes to use his cane to pull Logan closer with every little excuse he can find. Sometimes he does that with no reason at all and claims it’s a reflex at this point (which is partially true). He loves to get unnecessarily close just because and if he has no cane around he can always drag Logan by the tie.

Logan doesn’t allow anyone else to do that except for Remus from time to time when he has no patience to argue with someone so irrational and rebellious. Other than that, Janus alone has the tie-pulling privilege.

They do argue about ties and bowties a lot, though. It’s an ongoing, very serious, debate about which of the two looks better and more elegant. They cannot objectively solve it. Janus secret mission is to somehow trick Logan into wearing a bowtie without snapping his fingers and changing his attire himself.

...

When Logan feels terrible about himself Janus shapeshifts into him and repeats everything that Logan says. Not to be annoying, but to let Logan hear his own words in a different context and realize that these are just his own insecurities speaking and it usually has nothing to do with the truth. (No need to tell him that right away. He can figure it out himself. It works better.)

When Janus is upset Logan just recites very blunt positive facts about him. If Janus still has a problem with believing in these compliments Logan calmly explains that these are not compliments, but merely scientifically provable claims. In that case Janus cannot really argue with them and he knows better than to accuse Logan of lying for the sake of emotions.

When they went from flirting and tiptoeing around each other to actual dating they kept these tactics, but added some more tricks to lift their partner’s spirits. The new methods are much more affectionate and emotional, but still backed up with a lot of objective facts that are not up for a debate.

...

Before they started dating Logan went to Remus and Janus went to Roman desperately needing some advice. Logan because he’s so bad with feelings that he fears he misunderstood the entire situation (plus Remus knows Janus better than the Light Sides at this point) and Janus needed some actual help when it comes to romance. He may be very suave and flirt a lot, but it’s just a nice façade he uses to gain something. It works way worse when real feelings are involved.

Eventually, they end up getting together in a very slow, gradual way, because all their attempts to do something romantic are disasters. Not that Creativitwins’ advice was bad… it’s just their plans’ questionable execution. Logan and Janus were playing their “We pretend to not get what’s going on and appear unaffected” game for so long that every romantic gesture seems to be fake or a trap.

So in the end they just painfully slowly grow closer and closer. When Janus drags Logan with his cane, he stays beside him longer than he needs to. When Logan reads and gets distracted, Janus brushes his hair from his eyes with his gloved and later gloveless fingers. When Janus doesn’t know something he stops pretending he understands everything and goes to Logan to ask which makes the other man lit up with excitement. When Logan doesn’t feel like talking and arguing he just leans on Janus seeking silent support and delicate affection.

They probably start officially dating in a very nonspectacular way. They are just very close and Logan says something like: “Well, according to my data we should probably kiss at this point” and Janus answers with: “Can’t argue with science”. So they do kiss, before Logan mentions that science is exactly about “arguing” until you get the most objective and statistically correct answer possible.

...

For some time they do not say anything to the others.

But they notice the change pretty quickly, starting with Roman who nearly faints with relief after their confessions, because the amount of repressed love they were carrying around was insane and was an actual physical burden for a romantic side.

However, before anyone else knows they spend a week together trying to squeeze as much affectionate, loving moments into these few days as possible, so they don’t act too delirious around other sides when they come back. (They do anyway.)

Their flirting is still a competition, though. Sometimes to a ridiculous extent when they try to outdo the other with obscenely romantic gestures. It’s not a date. It’s a game. There is a scoring board and they both simultaneously play the roles of the contestants and the judges.

(Logan wins after carving a heart with J+L sign on the tree, because Janus refused to do anything that would look even more like a scene from a cheesy teenage movie. He gladly accepts his defeat. The punishment was just more soft kissing under the same tree. What a tragedy.)

...

At the end of the day Loceit as a couple is a very unpredictable mixture between them being two cold motherfuckers (with one refusing to show a single emotion and the other using the emotions as a weapon) and being two nerds that can giggle at each other’s jokes about law while combing their partner’s hair with fingers, cuddling, and blushing very hard when they hear a breathless: “you’re so smart!”.

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And that’s all. However, I do feel that we’ve neglected Loceit as a ship which means that I will probably create more HCs and writing prompts about them soon. So feel free to ask about these two :D I’ll gladly post something more.

[discotreque]

LwD 1.10, “No Small Parts”

Well, that was the most fun I've had watching Star Trek in literally a quarter of a century.

I had high hopes for this series. I love TAS, largely because of its wacky outsized concepts that could only have worked in animation—not that they all did work, but the potential was so apparent to me, even as a kid reading the Alan Dean Foster novelizations—and as an adult, there's something about the imagination of Lower Decks's FX setpieces that transcends even the glorious CGI bonanzas of Discovery.

Pause for a confession. I've long pushed back against criticism of serialization in new Trek. That's just how TV is now, okay? Might as well complain about it being in widescreen. But I'm backing down a little, because I've realized there is something about Star Trek that's inextricable from at least a partially-episodic format. And while Picard was telling a different kind of story, I can't deny that my favourite episodes of Disco have been the ones with a mostly self-contained A-plot. After 10 delightfully episodic instalments of LwD, its focus on long-term development of characters instead of a season-spanning puzzle-plot (okay, mostly just Mariner, but we only have 10 × 22 minutes and she is the star) has been downright refreshing.

So here we are, at the end of the most consistent and well-executed Season 1 of a Star Trek series since, arguably, Those Old Scientists. And sure, if they'd had to produce another... yikes, 42 episodes? Then sure, they probably would have dropped a clunker or two—but they didn't, and winning on a technicality is still winning. I'm practically vibrating with excitement for Disco to come back next week, but damn, I'm going to miss this little show while it's on hiatus.

Spoilers below:

Something I've been keeping track of finally paid off this week! (Which never happens to me, lol.) The destruction of the USS Solvang marked the first present-day death(s) of any Starfleet officer on Lower Decks, the only other on-screen killing at all being a flashback in "Cupid's Errant Arrow". Which makes sense, being (a) a comedy, and (b) about typically "expendable" characters: it hasn't been afraid to flirt with a little darkness here and there, but killing people off at Star Trek's usual pace wouldn't just be wrong for the tone, it would be downright bizarre.

But... people die on Star Trek. That's one of the core themes of the show, really: space is full of knowledge and beauty, but also danger and terror, and believing that the former is worth the risk of the latter is (according to Trek) one of humanity's most noble traits. I'm the least bloodthirsty TV watcher I know, but the longer we went with a body count of nil—ships completely evacuated before they were destroyed, main characters hilariously maimed without permanent consequences, etc.—well, I didn't mind per se, but the absence of truly deadly stakes was definitely getting conspicuous.

Turns out they were saving it up for maximum impact. And holy fuck, I've never felt such a pit in my stomach watching a ship get destroyed that wasn't named Enterprise. It felt grim and brutal and somehow both much too quick and dreadfully inevitable—and yeah, it looked extremely fucking cool—and I'd like every other Star Trek property for the rest of time to take notes under a large bold heading labeled RESTRAINT.

Comedy doesn't need to do this, but my favourite comedy does, and in a way that few other art forms can even approach: lower my emotional defences by making me laugh, endear character(s) to me with goofy-but-relatable antics—then BAM, sucker-punch me in the motherfucking feels. M*A*S*H is probably the classic example on TV, Futurama was notorious for it, and even Archer has pulled it off a few times; it's also a staple of some of my favourite standup. I wasn't sure if Lower Decks was going to go there in Season 1—and wasn't sure if they'd earn it—but I knew if they did, that they'd nail it, and damn. Feels good to be right.

Last batch of notes for the season!!! I rambled enough already, so let's do it liveblog-style:

I fucking KNEW they were going to use "archive" visuals from TAS at some point, I KNEW IT :D

"THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I like chill and confident Boimler a lot? You can really see—

oh bRADWARD NOOOOO

That opening shot of the Solvang tracking down to the red giant was extremely Discovery-esque... minus the motion sickness, that is

A lady captain AND a lady first officer? That's—oh hey, it's Captain Dayton's brand-new ship. Hahaha, that means they're totally fucked, right?.

Yep! They sure a—umm, wh—shit, okay, but—oh no—no, you can't—wait DON'T

...fuck

FUCK.

Narrator: "And then Amy needed a five-hour break."

[live-action Star Trek showrunner voice] "Gee, Mike! Why does CBS let you have two cold opens?"

Okay, yes, the bit with Rutherford cycling through all the different attitudes in his implant was transparently an excuse for Eugene Cardero to vamp while waiting for something to do in the story, but as far as I'm concerned they can contrive a reason for him to do a bunch of different silly Rutherfords in a row any time they damn well want, because that was classic!!!

EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP

AND THE EXOCOMP IS PAINTED LIKE THE EXOCOMP IS WEARING A LITTLE EXOCOMP-SIZED STARFLEET UNIFORM

EXOCOMP!!!!!

The slow burn and now the payoff of the Mariner-is-Freeman's-secret-daughter plot has been executed so well. I'm beyond impressed with this writer's room, y'all—they are threading a hell of a needle here

"Wolf 359 was an inside job" would have been a spit-take if I'd had anything in my mouth

...how many memos do you think Starfleet Command has had to issue asking people to stop calling the USS Sacramento "the Sac"?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'VE DECORATED THE SHUTTLECRAFT SEQUOIA THOUGH

Is, uh, is it weird if I'm starting to ship Tendi and Peanut Hamper a little? It is weird, isn't it. I knew it was weird...

Coital barbs??? I take back everything I said about wanting to know more about Shaxs/T'Ana.

The "good officer" version of Mariner is... kind of hot, tbh! But Tawny Newsome has done such a great job of building this character all season that her voice getting uncharacteristically clipped and martial and "sir! yes, sir!" is also deeply, deeply weird

Ah, so this is literally exactly like when TNG (and DS9) would bring in, and then blow up, a never-before-seen Galaxy-class ship, just to underscore that we're facing a real threat this week, baby. And hey, it fucking worked—my heart was in my throat, omg, for the reveal of the—

PAKLEDS?????????

The fucking PAKLEDS have been gluing weapons to their ships for the last 15 years. GREAT.

(We interrupt the SHIP BEING SLICED INTO SCRAP for an interesting bit of world-building: on Earth, the traditional First Contact Day meal is salmon!)

"I need a dangerous, half-baked solution that breaks Starfleet codes and totally pisses me off! That's an order." I'm starting to think Captain Freeman might actually be overqualified for the Cerritos, y'all—she's REALLY awesome

OH SHIT IT'S BADGEY, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA

"How much contraband have you hidden on my ship?" "I don't know! A lot!"

Awwww, Boims!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK THIS, PEANUT HAMPER OUT

BADGEY NOOOOO

AUGHHHHH WHAT THE CHRIST DID HE JUST—BUT—RUTHERFORD'S IMPLANT????

RUTHERFORD!!!!!!!!!!

SHAXS!!!!!!

F U C K ! ! ! ! !

ahaIOPugdfhagntpgjrq90e5mgu90qe5;oigoqgw4ouegrw5SP;IAEHURVa IT’S THE TITAN???????????

IT'S CAPTAIN WILLIAM T. RIKER ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TITAN??????????

i'm screaming I'M SCREAMINGGGGGG​TGGGTGQER;​LBHAOIBVNV;​OAPBIJNVagr;h;​oagruipuwtnaetbaetgq35ghqet

I'M SO GLAD THIS WASN'T SPOILED FOR ME WTF

I AM WEEPING LIKE A CHILD

...

(Just a brief 20-minute pause this time)

And oh wow, seeing Will and Deanna hits different after Picard too, in a few different ways, which I may even get into later now that my heartrate is back to normal, lmao

Oh, I am always here for some jokes at the expense of the Sovereign class. The Enterprise-E sucked. They should have built a new bigger model of the D and new Galaxy-class interiors for the TNG movies, and I will die on that hill

OKAY, FINE, YOU GOT ME, RUTHERFORD × TENDI WOULD BE ADORABLE AND THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SETUP FOR IT

Awwww, Shaxs though :( Congrats on the single most badass death in Star Trek history, dude. The Prophets would—well, the actual Prophets would probably be slightly confused about most of it, but Kira Nerys would be proud of you and I feel like that probably counts for more. RIP, Papa Bear

I am here all damn DAY for the Mariner–Riker parallels, ahahahahaha

Pausing it to record my prediction that Boimler's commitment to not caring about rank anymore is going to last 3... 2...

Yep.

Bradward, how DARE YOU.

"Those guys had a long road, getting from there to here." OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

What a brilliant way to resolve and renew the various character arcs and relationships moving into Season 2! The writers could easily have brought everything back to status quo—chaotic Mariner fighting with her mom and being a bad influence on Boimler, etc.—and done another 10 just like these, but I suspect that wouldn't have been ambitious enough for these writers. What a blast. I cannot wait for more.

Thanks for following along, friends! Stay tuned for my (similarly patchy and amateur) coverage of Discovery, starting next week!

[iwach4n]

this is basically an AU me and @snazzieyama have been talking about where haikyuu characters are the actors in Hamilton, and i haven’t been able to get it out of my mind so have an obnoxiously long set of headcanons about it

(i wrote this listening to the soundtrack, proper jamming i tell you)

CAST LIST (hear me out on some of these)

alexander hamilton - hinata shoyo

aaron burr - akaashi keiji

eliza schuyler - kageyama tobio

angelica schuyler - atsumu miya

peggy schuyler - yachi hitoka

john laurens / phillip hamilton - nishinoya yuu

marquis de laffayette - bokuto koutarou

hercules mulligan - tanaka ryuunosuke

george washington - sawamura daichi

thomas jefferson - tsukishima kei

james madison - yamaguchi tadashi

king george III - oikawa tooru

maria reynolds - kozume kenma

james reynolds / the doctor - kuroo tetsurou

samuel seabury - sugawara koushi

charles lee - lev haiba

george eacker - yaku morisuke

the bullet - shimizu kiyoko

HEADCANONS

hinata auditioned for hamilton despite having literally no theatre experience besides like school musicals and like one community theatre show. he was cast in ensemble at first but worked his way up to hamilton’s understudy and then the official hamilton

tsukishima auditioned for burr. he was salty that he was cast as someone else (his dynamic with yamaguchi was too good to pass up and akaashi had a better voice for Wait For It) at first but then he immediately clashed with hinata and took great pleasure with being able to roast him every night

in Alexander Hamilton, the laffayette/jefferson and mulligan/madison parts switch actors every show so bokuto, tsukishima, tanaka and yamaguchi all get to do it. sometimes they switch it at the last minute because “please dude my grandma’s come to watch i need to be on stage as much as possible”

tanaka has the Best fun on stage. he never fails to get the crowd pumped, he is jumping around and bringing so much energy, especially in his part in yorktown. it makes you mad that its a musical and you can’t start jumping up and singing along

suga was cast as seabury because he was perfectly good at the role and they preferred kageyama as eliza, which he auditioned for originally. he’s really good at it but it took way too long for Farmer Refuted to come together because him and hinata kept bursting out laughing. they both consider each other, like, the least threatening people ever, and they couldn’t take it seriously whenever hinata would have to get in suga’s face

SOMETIMES IT STILL HAPPENS!! if you watch carefully, you might see one of their lips twitch while they try to keep a straight face. the minute suga gets off stage, someone always has some cushion or piece of clothing he can laugh into because once he started laughing while his mic was still on

THE BIGGEST CAST JOKE IS ABOUT THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAMILTON AND ELIZA!! kageyama looks so much taller than hinata (coz he is but its so noticeable when they’re alone on stage) and they torment hinata with pictures where it just looks ridiculous

oikawa always absolutely steals the show. he’s so dramatic, but he’s also one of the most simped-for cast members and sometimes he’ll throw a wink into the audience in the middle of You’ll Be Back to make things more interesting. 

also the bits in act 2 where he just comes in to watch and laugh at everything that’s happening? he’s so fun! just because he’s not the main focus of the scene doesn’t mean he isn’t gonna make the most hilarious facial expressions. half the audience ends up focusing on him instead.

daichi is the most commanding washington literally ever. he just comes on and he immediately takes over the stage. he barely has to try to give the character the air of authority. literally the perfect actor for the role

he’s also been in the show the longest. was cast as washington right off the bat and has been doing the role for multiple years. it makes him the unofficial dad of the cast and the go-to for advice since he’s seen a bunch of people do every other role

the “CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME” line was another one that took too long for them to do without laughing. daichi has been doing this for ages but when he practices with hinata, he can’t help but laugh because this is the kid who he witnessed choke on hello kitty gummies with five minutes until the show began (back when hinata was in ensemble). hinata does the line too well and its hard to take it seriously at first

akaashi singing Wait For It is the literal most beautiful part of the show. he’s an amazing actor and his voice is incredible and it’s the sort of thing you could rewatch on loop for an entire week non-stop without getting bored

bokuto got akaashi the audition for burr, and even though their characters don’t interact too much their chemistry is really good. The “everyone give it up for everyone’s favourite fighting frenchman!” line is so genuine they just really admire each other as actors

lev auditioned for lee for the sole purpose of getting the line “i’m a general, WHEEEE”. he got the role mostly because he was just,,, really good at that line

atsumu refused to interact with anyone outside of rehearsals and performances for a solid month. the instagram of the cast had loads of photos on the story that were just mugshots of him saying “day 24, atsumu still won’t talk to us :(” whenever any of the cast take over it for a day

akaashi is the second most simped-for actor in the cast (after oikawa). you can literally feel people in the audience swooning in Dear Theodosia because he’s just so sweet

when yachi found out she was the only girl in the main cast she was literally terrified. she latched onto kiyoko really quickly and there’s a ridiculous amount of pictures that every fan has seen of those two together

kiyoko is really mesmerising as the bullet!! when she’s lifted her form is just stunning she just looks really nice okay-

every wondered whether kageyama would be like,,, actually good because he just seems kind of awkward off stage, but the minute he’s on stage and following a script, he’s like the perfect eliza

nishinoya has the perfect range for both laurens and phillip. fun and friendly yet still principled and serious rebel? check. small sweet nine year old? check. charismatic flirt? check. heartbreakingly dying from a gunshot wound? check.

tsukishima is a really unique jefferson. he’s not as flamboyant as the role usually is, but he’s super sassy to make up for it. it’s really refreshing and SO fun to watch. “uh,,, france?” becomes “france.” with a ‘are you stupid’ expression

yamaguchi wasn’t expecting to get anything past ensemble but he came in to audition with tsukishima and he is so good at what few lines he has. “which I wrote!” is said with such a scandalised tone, it gets a laugh every time

everyone who knew kenma before thought he’d be too awkward to do maria but he is actually really good once he gets past the initial awkwardness, he manages to portray her like a victim really well

i’ve already done like two of these so here’s some more scenes that took too long before they didn’t burst out laughing: eliza teaching phillip to play piano in Take A Break (just imagine nishinoya and kageyama doing it i can’t-), the duel in Ten Duel Commandments (the height difference between nishinoya and lev made them laugh every time they turned around), 90% of Say No To This but especially the kiss (kenma would just stop and get off like ‘no, i can’t, i can’t do this’ every time it was about to happen while hinata just started cackling)

part of the reason noya got cast as phillip as well as laurens was because he’s one of the only people who auditioned who was shorter than hinata

in rehearsals, akaashi has fallen off the table from The Room Where It Happens because they couldn’t time him jumping while the tablecloth was pulled off. there’s a compilation of the falls on youtube, no one knows who recorded them, let alone who posted it (it was kuroo)

speaking of kuroo, he takes his like five lines and he runs with them. he’s awesome as james reynolds but he’s also the fandoms favourite instagram of the cast because he just posts all the backstage shenanigans. he’s somehow always recording whenever something is going wrong.

he also teases kenma relentlessly about how their characters are married, but kenma is having none of it. it always goes like “awe we’re married” “,,, you’re literally abusive” or “come on, do it for your husband” “i’m cheating on you”

(i stopped here to jam to That Part of Hurrican. i wrote my way out hell i wrote my way to revolution i was louder than the crack in the bell i wrote eliza love letters until she fell-)

bokuto managed to rap Guns And Ships first try. he listened to it like twice, read the lyrics, and he could immediately do it. he took ages to do a convincing french accent though, and it pained everyone

TSUKISHIMA COULDN’T DO THE FAST PART OF WASHINGTON ON YOUR SIDE AND HAD TO ASK BOKUTO FOR HELP

bokuto is just,,, such a good laffayette. he’s jumping all over the place, flexing his muscles while he does the fast raps without looking out of breath at all. it seems almost impossible

also!!!! kuroo has a ridiculous amount of videos of bokuto backstage fortnite dancing to serious songs like Burn or Its Quiet Uptown

kageyama in Burn!!! heartbreaking and beautiful but he burns his hand on the letter too often. he’s gotten used to it at this point so he only slightly flinches when the flames touch his hand. its worrying

congratulations was almost brought back because atsumu really likes it and he absolutely kills it. they recorded him singing it in like a studio and everything because its just that good

when noya found out yaku was playing eacker he was so happy because they’re both short and he already looks ridiculous and tiny enough in the first duel

tsukishima will never admit how much fun he has with “southern motherfucking democratic republicans!!!” but its so clear his eyes literally shine (he kind of carries that line coz yamaguchi and akaashi are a lot more mellow)

oikawa once got dared to fortnite dance in reynolds pamphlet when he’s throwing the one singular sheet of paper. he was going to do it but the directors found out about it and literally threatened to fire him if he did it (they did it in a rehearsal to make up for it)

you know that bit in Your Obedient Servant where its like “careful how you proceed good man, intemperate indeed good man, answer for the accusations i lay at your feet or prepare to bleed good man”? literal chills from the look on akaashi’s face when he does it

whenever other cast members get food gifts from fans and they leave them unattended atsumu will always steal them. only daichi has figured out its him and he has kept quiet on two conditions - he leaves his alone, and he gets half of all the cakes

sometimes yachi just likes to lie down in the middle of the spinny floor and spin to destress. yamaguchi joins her sometimes.

there’s always a ton of people waiting at stage door, and kuroo has made it his mission to come out first and announce everyone as they leave. people play along with it and cheer for every person. some of the cast (mainly oikawa and bokuto) make it super dramatic and do massive bows as they walk out. kageyama never fails to look bewildered despite it happening every day

oikawa chills in full king gear backstage way before and way after he needs to. like half of his instagram is selfies is him in it doing dramatic poses. he’s broken the crown too many times because it fell off his head

hinata sometimes subconsciously does the My Shot dance while he’s going about his life. he can’t escape

they can be sorted into three groups: is the literal sweetest baby to their fans and is kind of shocked they even exist, adores having fans and fully expects them to exist, and the ‘i appreciate the support but pls leave me alone i want to go home’

i don’t know how to round this off but this is getting too long and its gonna keep on going because i’m listening to the soundtrack as i write. maybe there will be a part 2 one day.

[baileys-aurora]

Under the Surface

Ateez x Reader (fem), Mermaid/ Pirate au

 Part 6/?

Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Warnings: Cussing

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Sorry this took forever to post :( plz forgive 

 Reaching land wasn't as exciting you had thought it would have been. In your mind the trees were lush, and the sand was white, when in reality neither of those things were present. Instead there were unstable men who could barely walk, looking as you once did, they stumbled into others and some even bending over to release their stomach contents. The island itself was underwhelming as it had rarely any trees, birds picking at the old thrown out food, and wooden structures that were slightly scary to look at. Land was the last place you want to go on if it all looks like this.

 “Stay by my side and it will be ok.” Hongjoong stopped besides you and gave an encouraging smile your way, his hair slightly tousled as he was sweating through the collar of his shirt. “Can I Just stay on the boat?” You asked with intimidation strong in your voice as you were trying to fight back the nerves the men with missing teeth and greasy hair were giving you by eating up your presence. “That would be more dangerous,” he dropped  his playful expression becoming serious as he began walking slowly ahead so you could catch up and keep a stride next to him, “none of us are on the  boat which leaves you alone and vulnerable.” he looked you up and down before letting out a low whistle “also you look the way you do, even my clothes can’t mask it.” he chuckled feeling a bit of pride as he looked at his shit covering you. Blushing you looked down at the dirt you were now on. After only being in the water and a boat, the feeling was strange, no movement yet your body still felt it, like after waves.

 “Hey! Can you two stop flirting up there while we are doing all the work.” you looked behind you to see the seven boys lugging the shipment with scowls on their faces, causing you to slighting giggle, trying to hide it behind your hand as you turned back around. “I saw that y/n” Yunho called out making the situation all the more enjoyable before your foot caught a stray root growing out of the ground, causing you to lose your balance and land on you knees, the dirt mixed with grinded rocks splitting the tender skin of your knees. Sucking in your breath from the pain, your mind was busy with, you didn’t realize what was going on around you or the comment that was thrown your way from one of the dirty locals.

Looking quickly next to you Hongjoong already had the guy pinned beneath his forearm and was staring him down, “what did you just say to her?” he asked through gritted teeth while Jongho raced to help you up and place you behind him for extra protection. Looking back at the rest of the crew they stood in shock staring at the guy who provoked their captain, “I said,” the man began, letting out a low chuckle, “her knees In front of me is were a pretty lady like her belongs.” the words finally allowing you to understand why this was happening as you gabbed the back of Jongho’s shirt slightly letting him know you are still there and ok, looking from his stiff back to Hongjoong.

The look Hongjoong wore was one you haven’t met yet, thankfully at that, his jaw was clenched, nostrils flared, and eyes crazed as he applied more pressure to the guys neck shortly before grabbing his collar and landing a hard hit to the guys nose. Then continuing aimlessly and with just as much anger as the last one held until Seonghwa pulled him off. “you’re going to kill him at this rate” Seonghwa whispered in his captains ear to try and calm him down, “good, its what that motherfucker deserves” he shot back loud enough the now beaten guy could hear him as he slowly sat up and coughed and Hongjoong fought to be let go.

Standing up slowly he seemed to be sorry before that facade quickly fell through, “I’m sorry” he threw out in the most sarcastic tone he could, “did I offend your group’s pass around slut?” he tilted his head slightly before smirking at Hongjoong. Causing a whole new wave of anger to consume him completely.

A crowd now forming as Seonghwa pulled Hongjoong tighter trying to stop him, and before he could push Seonghwa off someone was already there landing yet another hit to the greasy man’s face before grabbing the back of his head and bringing it to his knee, causing the man to fall down without another word, groaning in immense pain. Blood was now heavily present, yet hidden in the dark color of the dirt, “If you ever say such bull shit again to her,” a finger was pointed your way “or to anyone else for that matter, your ass won’t be able to see the next morning’s sunrise” squatting down beside him and grabbing a hand full of hair, Wooyoung forced the hurting man to look at him, “do you understand?” he asked with a tight smile then proceeded to make the man, against his will, nod in agreement before letting go and standing back up above him. “Piece of shit” Wooyoung huffed under his breath as he walked back to grab the barrel he was carrying and walking ahead without making eye contact with you.

Your knees long forgotten as Hongjoong shakes off Seonghwa’s hands and walked in the same direction Wooyoung did after briefly making eye contact with you to make sure you were still there and ok. “Are you ok?” San rushed up to you who was still holding onto Jongho’s shirt so tightly your knuckles became white. You nodded slowly while staring at the beaten man before looking to see if Hongjoong was still visible, he wasn’t. Finally looking to San your shock must have been more noticeable you thought as you were quickly brought to san’s chest as his hand was laid on the back of your head. “It will be, just let them calm down for a little bit.” He let you go so you could join the rest of the guys as he quietly stayed behind, “are you ok?” Yeosang asked walking to stand beside you. Nodding your head, you waited for them to start walking before you did, not realizing San was no longer present, wanting to get back to the ship as soon as possible.

The trade was quick but the walk back to the ship was long, every so often a member would break off to pick up certain supplies and food. However, not a single word spoken as Hongjoong walked ahead of everyone and Wooyoung hung behind, both still clearly bothered along with the others. San, sneakily joining again behind you.  

Once on the ship, everyone went their own way, San checking on you again before he had to climb the crow’s nest and Mingi giving you a few encouraging words, even through you haven’t talked a lot, before taking on the wheel. Not knowing where to go you decided to the front of the ship would be the most welcoming right know, watching as the open sea began to move towards you, It was calming and made you miss it for the first time in a while.

The feeling didn’t last long as chill ran down your spine as you felt a presence approach you. Slowly turning to look you notice the boy has already taking a spot next to you. Anxiety spiking as he was unfamiliar yet oddly comfortable to in the presence of, safe feeling almost. “sorry if I’m intruding but you seemed to need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen to you.” He cracked a crooked smile, dimples popping as he scooted farther away so show he was harmless.  “I’m Chris, we haven’t officially met before since I’m usually below deck” he said, smile never faltering. “y/n” you slightly smiled back, still slightly on edge from what happened earlier.

After a few awkward moments of silence hung around you two before his voice was heard again, “heard you are a mermaid?” he asked in a slightly lower voice then previously. Your expression from his bluntness gave him his answer. What happens if he tells someone outside the ship, or he takes me to the market? Your mind beginning to race as possible excuses run through your head to get out of this situation.

“Its been lovely talking to you but I think I’m going to head to back to the main deck and check on everyone” you smiled weakly at him, just wanting to get closer to Hongjoong or anyone else for that matter. “okay” he smiled up at your now standing body, “I’m glad I finally was able to meet you” he said sweetly before also getting up and walking the other way backwards for a few steps before waving and spinning on his heels continuing his retreat. His curly blonde hair slightly bouncing with each of his steps. The feeling he carried also slowly disappeared leaving a weird feeling.

Opening the door to the captains cabin you just couldn’t shake off the familiar feeling Chris gave you. Looking around there was no Hongjoong, but some fresh clothes laid out on the bed, and from the style it seems to be Yeosang’s. Sighing you sat down on the bed and began to massage your swore legs, finally remembering your knees were cut up. A swim would be nice you thought to yourself as you stared down at your legs, even thinking about scolding them for the amount of trouble they caused everyone today.

A soft knock was heard at the door interrupting your thoughts, “are you dressed?” a voice you knew as Jongho called out. “yes, you can com in” you called back to lazy to open the door yourself. Walking in Jongho looked from the clothes still on the bed to you, “I thought you said you changed?” he tilted his head, finger pointing at Yeosang’s clothes, “I’m dressed aren’t I?” you smiled up at him before looking back at your knees, “plus, I was still trying to decide what to do with this” you continued. “Do you need me to clean it?” he asked walking towards you and keeled down to get a better look, “Or I could go for a quick swim and it would go away?” you stated slightly asking to make sure it was safe enough. Jongho let out a low whistle while shaking his head, “I don’t know about that, it could be dangerous” he said before cracking a smile, “however, I wont say anything if you take me with you” which caused you to smile too. “Deal.”

Making your way to the railing on the quieter side of the ship was tough in broad daylight, but y’all eventually made it. Yeosang’s clothes close by so you could change after getting out. “Ok, turn around so I can undre-“, “What’s going on here?” the same chill ran down your spine as you stopped in your tracks and turned around to meet Chris’ smiling eyes, then looking at Jongho who seemed to have straighten his posture slightly and taking a step closer to you, “who are you?” Jongho’s words sent fear into you, he wasn’t a member of the crew.

“I’m a friend of sorts” he said with his hands slightly up, “not trying to cause anymore trouble” he said with all seriousness, smile falling from his face. “I don’t really care” Jongho stepped closer to him, “why are you here? Did you board from the island?” he began to question, but soon was cut off by another person, “who the hell is he?” Hongjoong approached the scene still as agitated he was earlier, “and why is he on my ship?” he questioned still never making eye contact with you. Chris took a few steps back, “I’m a friend of her father, sent to protect her but I see you guys already have that part handled.” He cracked a smirk, “like right now the water is to murky to see anything” he stated staring at Hongjoong but directing his words at you and Jongho.

Everyone was shocked from his words yet skeptical on the truthiness of it. You didn’t have a father so who was he talking about.

Next Part

Tag List:  @fatheadthemango​ @unatempesta-dipensieri​

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Mac

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You first meet Mac when you stop by to check on Valerie after she called you the night before, telling you all about what happened with her and Ted.

- You and her had been friends for a while and you decided you were going to try to cheer her up or at least make sure she was okay after such a rough night. Although when you got there you were greeted with the completely unexpected; trashed house, an interesting contraption in the pool and three furry guys roaming around your best friends living room.

- Immediately upon seeing them you dropped your things and froze; they turned around when they heard the thudding on Valerie’s carpet. All of them got up and started to move towards you in curiosity.

- You were about ready to faint before Valerie came into the room, saw you and ushered the aliens back onto the couch. Meanwhile you had quickly picked up your things and rushed out of there with Valerie hot on your heels trying to explain what you had just seen.

- She slowly coaxed you back into the house where you were properly introduced to the three extraterrestrials.

- Of course Wiploc immediately tried to “flirt” with you. Him and Zeebo probably freaked you out more than you already were before Mac and Valerie managed to get them to act “normal”.

- You went with Valerie to the salon where you got to see the guys once they were madeover. Like Valerie you were practically speechless when they came out especially once you saw Mac; neither of you were expecting a washboard stomach and the face of a movie star.

- Mac pretty much trails after you like a lost puppy when you arrive at the club (and everywhere else you go), trying to get to know you better with his limited understanding of the English language and people as a whole.

- The only time he leaves your side is when Valerie walks off and after he follows her you sort of assume he was only around you because you were next to Valerie.

- After Valerie tells him about what she and most girls want; a Mr. right, he goes to you and asks if he could be someone’s Mr. right (hint hint cough cough). You grow a little flustered but think he’s talking about Valerie so you awkwardly tell him yes and list off a few reasons why.

- Each reason makes him smile a little more and gets him to move closer to you before you ultimately excuse yourself to go sulk; confusing him as he’s left standing on his own and wondering if he did something wrong.

“He’s an alien, you’re from the valley. It could never work out anyway, you shouldn’t bother getting upset about it. This whole thing is crazy!” You keep telling yourself. But that doesn’t help the fact that your heart still races everytime you see him and that you are still indeed upset when you see him looking at your best friend.

- You still hang out with him and the gang all the while pretending you aren’t falling for him harder and harder every minute.

- Mac tends to watch you a lot, it’s because he’s amazed by you and your beauty but you just assume he’s interested in you because you’re human and a foreign being to him.

- One night as you were hanging out; alone together for the first time in a while, he asked you why you were single amongst other personal questions. He can’t help but smile as he listens to you describe your ideal man and the dreams you’ve had about that special someone since you were young.

- You begin to realize that your idea of a perfect man is just him; so you finally decide to confess no matter the outcome. Slowly, you start to finish your sentence getting quieter and quieter until you end it with “I guess I’m looking for someone like… you.”

“I am your mr. Right?” He asks slowly.

“Yeah,” you smile nervously. “Yeah, I think you are.”

- You watch as he smiles at you and stay still as he begins to lean in, letting his lips meet yours as his hand comes to hold your cheek.

- And from that point on, you began your inter-species relationship with the extraterrestrial.

- Wiploc tries to flirt with you a lot and usually thinks it’s funny when Mac reprimands him even though it doesn’t always happen. Mostly because Wiploc has the mentality of a five year old and 90% of the time his flirting is half jokingly asking for a kiss when he barely understands what a kiss is.

- Observing his weird quirks.

- Being amazed by his different, odd abilities. He just gives you a sheepish smile when he catches you watching.

- He’s probably the best man you’ve ever dated purely because he isn’t a man and hasn’t been contaminated by earthly society.

- Whenever you’re out on the town you sometimes have to remind him that normal humans cannot do certain things that him and other aliens can. Be prepared to watch that he isn’t making anyone suspicious.

- He doesn’t understand your insecurities. What’s the big deal about some markings on your skin or the fact that you have a different body shape then those around you? He’s seen all kinds of humans look all sorts of ways, isn’t looking different a normal thing with humans?

- Even though he doesn’t understand he helps you with them and reassures you whenever you get upset.

- What do you mean sex is taboo, why?

- Oh and what’s better than sex? Sex with an alien that can give you sexy time psychedelics.

- Helping him rehearse being human when you have to go somewhere important.

- He tends to mimic you when you do something he’s never seen/heard before like a gesture, facial expression or some kind of phrase. It’s really kind of cute.

- He copies a lot of things from tv.

Wow that compliment seems awfully familiar.

(Cut to you watching some rom com) That adorable motherfucker

- Travelling to space with him at some point, even if you don’t stay forever.

- Wiploc and Zeebo are pains in the ass but you can’t help but love them. Mac usually makes sure to keep them in line, especially when they try to run off or flirt (too much) with you.

- Always listens very closely to what you say. If you think you’ve been “heard” in the past, just you wait until you talk with him.

- Hand holding, he loves when you grab his hand in public even though it’s probably just to keep him with you and make sure he doesn’t wander off.

- Only has eyes for you, he’s completely disinterested in anyone else and he’ll quickly go over to your side whenever he can get away from the person keeping him from you.

- Even after you start dating he still stares at you a lot and you really don’t know why; you just hope it’s for a good reason. It’s because he’s absolutely in love with you.

- Loves affection, like he can never get enough or give enough.

- He tries very hard to impress you especially before you’re dating. Oh you’re stopping by Valerie’s, well it just so happens he’s shirtless and covered in grease while working on the ship. You think the guy in the tv is strong? Watch this!

- Listening to stories about his planet and space, more often then not its the soundtrack of your dreams.

- He’s honestly fascinated by you, even after you’ve been dating a while he’s still caught off guard by how amazing you can be.

- He always wants the best for you even if it’s not with him.

- But lets be honest would you even dare dump an alien especially when they look and act like Mac?

- Listening to his double heartbeat.

- He loves holding you to his chest whenever you’re laying in bed. He’s very cuddly for someone who really shouldn’t understand the concept of snuggling.

- Picking you any little flower he sees and is allowed to grab or can grab without anyone noticing.

- You need help? He’s always there for you.

- If you ever want anything fixed he’ll definitely give it a try even if he goes into it not really knowing what he’s doing. He’ll pick up a book from the library, touch a few of the pages and go to work. It usually only takes him about an hour to get whatever’s broken fixed.

- Be prepared to get alien upgrades on your home appliances.

- He can get sort of jealous but more often then not he just gets confused as to why he’s feeling the way he is. Before you realized what it meant it always confused you whenever you’d catch him standing or sitting beside you with a puzzled look on his face.

- He’s very sympathetic and he likes helping you with your problems so don’t feel like you’re being annoying whenever you rant to him. You could never be a burden in his eyes.

- He’s very touchy so you’ll end up having to swat his hands away a lot.

- Always trying to keep his hands on any part of you. It’s your job to decide when it’s because he wants you to himself or when it’s because he doesn’t want to get lost. (Spoiler alert: you cant ever really tell!)

- Trying to stifle your giggles when you hear his odd combinations of slang. Sometimes he purposefully strings together weird sentences just to see you try to hold back a smile.

“Miss Dude”

- He always tries to make you happy no matter what it takes.

- He loves seeing you; he could never get tired of looking at your face or being around you. You’re basically his home now so whenever he’s homesick he just looks at you.

- Hand kisses. He used to think it was just how humans addressed each other so he’d kiss your hand every time he saw you but now he realizes there’s more to it than that. Since he’s learned that there’s; usually, intimacy behind it he tries to do it even more now and reserves the action only for you.

- Listening to him play piano. He memorizes your favorite songs by heart(s).

- Gifts from space whenever he has to leave earth. You have a shelf full of moon rocks and alien plants.

- Be sure to keep a razor and some Nair handy for emergencies.

- He’s a natural at modeling for photos but the smolder he tends to have in them is literally just him squinting from the flashing light.

- He likes when you take him shopping with you, especially when it’s clothes shopping. He finds it fun when you style him even though he doesn’t really care for fashion all that much.

- For an alien he sure can kiss. He will literally kiss you until you’re weak in the knees and then some.

- Sitting between his legs with your back on his chest while you listen to him tell you about the stars.

- I feel like he’d have cat-like tendencies; head nuzzling, purring, etc.

- You’ll probably have to deal with a long distance relationship for a little while; it’s only a matter of time before he’ll have to return to his home planet for something.

- The instant he learns what “I love you” actually means he starts telling you it constantly and gets really excited when you say it back.

- Mac would have “proposed” to you (or the alien equivalent) the day he met you so rest assured he’s in it for the long run.

- And plus, an intergalactic wedding must be pretty interesting, right?

[budugaapologist]

when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell

fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation

you know what? ima say it.

black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:

nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.

not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).

unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.

base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.

good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.

i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.

main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.

if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.

the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.

legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.

the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.

farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).

obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.

ed's tattoos are sick.

edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.

diving outfit.

thicc.

the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.

guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.

he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.

he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.

the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.

rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.

from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.

is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!

stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.

and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:

this highwaisted man's got feminine hips

there is no reason for him to be that thicc

his bangs are a mess

his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.

his tatts that are just lines

actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in

how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""

"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"

i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.

why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that

he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.

"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"

phobia of sleeping in a bed

"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."

edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship

where are your tanlines

how did he not die of skin cancer first

edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too

look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.

his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes

he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh

anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Four liveblog of The Mandalorian!  Let’s go!!!

This title is just “Sanctuary”, it bothers me that this one doesn’t start with “The ___” like the other ones do ;p

Fish shrimp things!!!

Aww village!!!!

Oh no this is too peaceful when are they gonna get attacked

Aaaand there go the birds 

What’s coming?

Surprise surprise bad guys

Pirate raiders of some sorts

Clever mom, tho I’m guessing she’s gonna die

Oh they look like Tolkien orcs

Oh boy Mando Man’s gonna come save them!

BABY YODA IT’S BABY YODA

LOOK AT THEM PRESSING BUTTONS

CUTE BABY I LOVE THEM

Man-dad-lorian: “stop touching things”

LITTLE SHIT TOUCHED SOMETHING AGAIN I LOVE BABY YODA

HE’S HOLDING THEM OH MY GOOOOOSH LOK THAT’S ADORABLE

HE’S TALKING TO THEM

US

LITTLE WOMP RAT

THIS IS IT I HAVE DIED.  TOO CUTE.  

FAR FAR FAR TOO CUTE IMMA REWIND AND WATCH THAT WHOLE THING AGAIN

I MELTED

HIS VOICE IS SO TENDER

L I T T L E  W O M P  R A T

I wanna marry him, I just adore how he talks to the baby, this is killing me

Jeez look how much I’ve typed and we’re only 5 minutes in

BABY VOICE.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS BABY VOICE HOW HE SPEAKS TO THEM

Ok ok ok I’m done

NO I’M NOT BABY FOLLOWED HIM

GAHHHH LOK AT BABY TODDLING ALONG

Mmm that kebab looks pretty good

Hey shiny butt you stick out like a sore thumb

THIS EPISODE WANTS TO KILL ME THAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING.  LIVE ACTION.  LOTHCAT/TOOKA.  RED ALERT.  RED ALERT.  HOW DID THEY KNOW I FUCKING LOVE LOTHCATS.  THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK

I’M SUING

Oh hey it’s pretty girl!!  His girlfriend!!!!

Or she’s gonna be his girlfriend anyway.

She’s so pretty!!!

Awww boi’s asking about the pretty girl xD

Wait so this dude doesn’t eat in public when does he eat

LOOK BRO NICE STRANGERS DO NOT NECESSARILY MAKE GOOD BABYSITTERS NO MATTER HOW FRIENDLY THEY SEEM MR CHILD ENDANGERMENT

Ok Mando Man absolutely has to have some Force Sensitivity, I’ll bet money on it, the way he just senses stuff about her.

Awww love at first kick

Yo she’s beating up on Beskar pretty well noice

BRO WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND FLAMING PEOPLE

THE FUCKING BABY SLORPING I’M WHEEZING

YOU WANT SOME SOUP?

THAT’S IT THEIR NEW SHIPNAME IS SOUP BUDDIES

So she’s a mercenary

“Another round” ohohohoho ;) ;) ;)

Awww poor dudes do want him to help!

Space krill?  Huh

Oh yea guilt him over it he’s a real softie xD

Theeeere we go

MORE FLIRTING

Ohhh she’s ex-shock trooper

I get you Baby Yoda, I third wheel a lot too

Oh yeah us too kiddos we all love the Babu

Awww he’s so polite <3

...uuuuuntil he scares a ten year old nice going xD

THE MUSIC IS SO STAR WARS-Y

ALERT ALERT THE BABY HAS A CRIB I’M DYING

Oh!  She’s feeding them/him?  I’m mellllllting!!!

CONCERNED PAPA ;_;

Oh so he does actually wash his hair thank goodness Pedro is too pretty for greasy helmet head

Oh nvm he must be so pale under his helmet xD

Oh wow so he wasn’t an official Mando until he was taken in there goes my theory

HELMET! IS! OFF!

Wait which ones are the AT-ST’s again?  Are they big big ones?

C’mon lady a bunch of Ewoks beat a walker before, give ‘em a chance!

“Unless we show them how” ah so this is another Seven Samurai-inspired ep like that one TCW one, RIP Kurosawa

Yay Home Alone booby traps!

OH YOU GO LADY SHOOT EM

See Anakin, it is actually possible to teach a bunch of villagers stick fighting without twirling it around like a showoffy dumbass xD

omg I’m so freakin’ proud of these people already

Wait oh nooo I kinda ship Mando Man with village lady too hlep

OT3 TIME YEET

Aight ppl let’s get em

Ooo what’s cookin’?

So these bombs make music huh?

Yussss kick ass babes

OH JEEZ THAT WALKER SCARED ME IT LOOKS LIKE A DAMN DEMON

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S ASS SHIT WHAT THE FUCK EXCUSE ME

Baby Yoda Will Protect The Children

Ugh The Cinnamontography

It’s actually like an old monster movie I adore this

And of course it’ll miss the trap

Yep there it is

Wait is that thing fucking sentient

Shit it is

IT’S AN ACTUAL MONSTER I LOVE THIS IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK MEETS PIRATES

Hmm a Jedi would be useful for dealing with the walker rn

Take out the legs

GET ‘IM GIRLIE

Oh I think brave village lady is gonna help get it

“Choke on this you ugly-”

Got em!

Gah I loved everything about this episode

Look out froggie Baby’s gonna eat ya

Yup

No!  Don’t bully Baby out of his food!!!

She’s so considerate of his culture I love this

DON’T YOU LEAVE BABY ALONE HERE MANDO MAN

Hmmm someone’s a little interested in Mando Man’s love life... >:3

GOD DAMN IT MANDO MAN NO I KNEW IT

DON’T LEAVE YOUR BOY

NOOOOOOOO

Can’t believe I’m saying this, I feel atrocious, but as long as there’s bounty hunters after Baby, Mando Man has to keep him!!!

Awww honey no they can’t be together but now I’m sad this lady deserves all the happiness ;_;

Oooooof ouch secondhand embarrassment rejection oof oof ouchhhhh

OH NO THAT SNIPER BETTER NOT SHOOT HER

STAY AWAY FROM BABY YOU FUCKING SHIT

Ok phew phew he’s fine

THANK YOU SO MUCH ROGUE LADY I’LL MARRY YOU

Guess Baby just has to stay with Mando Man for a bit! :D

Isn’t her name Cara or something?  I like her ^.^

Awww kiddo, I’d miss Baby Yoda too :(

Oh honey I’m sorry your mans is leaving, I’ll marry you instead!!!!

Awww wave bye bye!

Bahaha here I was comparing this to Jurassic Park and freaking Bryce Dallas Howard directed this ep, omg I love her

This ep was amazing yus

So I loved everything about this episode because I am ridiculously easy to please and I love the old samurai flicks and I love monster movies and the Clone Wars ep (why the flying fuck can’t I remember the name it was the one with Obi + Ani + Ahsoka on Felucia with the farmers and then Hondo fuck what was it called) that went kinda like this is one of my favorites and gah merc lady! (Cara?  Her name is definitely Cara, right?)  Omg I know we haven’t gotten any info on Cara yet, but I love that she’s got some softness too, that she doesn’t fall into the new “Strong Woman(TM)” trope where a woman can have no heart and must just beat up and shoot stuff and look hot while doing it.  I’m super excited to see more of her!!!

Just overall, great ep, loved it, can’t wait for more <3

[hellobrockie]

Some very long Rambly TROS thoughts

Holy fuck there is so much wrong with this movie.

Let's start at the beginning. Kylo tracks down the wayfinder/holocron crystal thing that will lead him to the sith homeworld. We learn that Palpatine was behind both the Snoke and Vader voices in Kylo’s head-basically the dude has been manipulating him for 30 years. Kylo states very clearly he's gonna kill this motherfucker. This is very in line with the Last Jedi- Kylo wants to destroy everything- the Sith the Jedi the Resistance- because he’s tired of the constant push-pull of rejection and manipulation. BUT THEN HE DOESNT KILL PALPATINE???? At first the film argues that he doesn't kill Palps because Palps promises him the big FINAL ORDER fleet? Okay...but I don’t think Kylo really gives a shit about a big fleet of ships when it's offered by the fucker who has been scrabbling his brains for shits and giggles. Once the ‘Rey Palpatine’ thing comes to light, we are lead to believe Kylo went along with the whole final order plan because he wanted to kill Palpatine together with REY???? Ahh okay? 

So now we switch back to Rey. She's basically a jedi, cool. And I guess the Skywalker saber just fixed itself, with literally no scars or anything. A great visual representation about how this film feels about character development that happened in The Last Jedi. So Rey breaks concentration and fails the courses. According to the film, this happens because sheisapalpatine. If you had two brain cells you would realize Rey could be upset for normal reasons ...like that in order to the Resistance to win she’s going to have to put Kylo down like a dog. Its kinda cool that Leia is her teacher (more on that later).

Soo then we spend the next hour on a pointless adventure with the Trio™. Which would be fun, if they were ever established as a Trio. Arguably the real trio might be Rose-Finn-Poe. More on Rose later. Here is a list of incomprehensible things that happen here:

Kylo reforges his mask. Because Reasons? The knights of Ren. Because Reasons?

A handful of force bond scenes. The first one actually isn’t half bad. By wearing the mask, Kylo is rejecting the intimacy inherent to the connection because he is about to  defile it. Grabbing Rey’s necklace is a physical and emotional violation. It's the first time he has ever used the connection for personal gain.  The other connection scenes mostly just play around with the two of them being able to pass each other stuff. They lack the careful editing of TLJ connection scenes. Disclaimer: I’m a pretty hard core Reylo and these scenes really lacked the magic they previously had.This might be un-purpose Kylo is clearly pretty lost as this point.  Dull, lacking in heart like so much of this film. 

Kylo becomes a cartoon power ranger villian spouting Palpatine exposition and attempting to create suspense by almost catching the trio a couple times. Some of the dialogue is almost Revenge of the Sith Anakin level awkward.  It lacks both the unstable angry energy of FA or the sad tired boi energy of TLJ. 

Rey makes force lighting because I guess she was upset and it's a genetic ability now???

Poe gets a female love interest, becuase hes heterosexual. HeTeroSeXUal.

Poe and Finn flirt for a whole hour while Poe checks out some new chick and Finn now has a harem thing kinda. 

Poe is now a spice trader. BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S THE HAN SOLO OF THE TRILOGY. Let's just forget that TLJ establishes that Poe is his own character, probably loyal to the resistance since birth. His parents are rebellion alumni.

Two death fake outs. I don’t know why they had to give 3PO his memories back. He lost them at the end of the Prequels and R2 loved him anyway. Chewbacca capture was a missed opportunity to get some resolution to him shooting Kylo in the gut. 

Hux is the spy. Lovely. He is the ultimate weak bitch. Tbh the most consistent character development. Arguably my favorite detail on the entire film. Perfect execution. Domhnall Gleason is a gift. 

Now onto Endor. Endor has so much potential and squanders most of it.

Finn meets other people who left the stormtrooper program. Cool. Weird how it's tied to force sensitivity. I like the idea of the force putting Poe and Finn in the right place at the right time, but I think to imply people’s ability to escape slavery is tied to force sensitivity brings us to the problematic terrority of the sequels. Also the only one who talks to Finn is also black. And Clearly has a romantic vibe. Okay…..

The Rey Palpatine thing is made explicit. Even though anyone will half a brain figured it out 90 minutes ago. More wierd implications…..who would agree to fuck an old man Palpatine? So Rape i guess. Rey’s parents were normal...is this some kinda side material hook to read more about them or some shit??? Kylo refers to Rey’s parents as ‘filthy junk traders’. He's right. THEY SOLD HER INTO FUCKING SLAVERY. However Rey’s parents are good people??? WTF THIS IS THE JEDI COUNCIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

 Soo Kylo destroys the wayfinder to force Rey to work with him. Anti-Reylos will often get their panties in a twist about how it’s an ‘abusive relationship’. This is the only scene that really comes off as manipulative- in a way it never did in TLJ. Partly because they play up this idea of power-hungry Kylo (which has little basis in reality. In FA he just wanted to make Snoke his daddy. And TLJ Kylo is just soo fucking lonely) rather than sad boi Kylo trying to hold onto someone. Damn the TLJ throne scene is soo careful with getting that energy right, balancing the heartbreak with a little gaslighting (sorry off topic).  Then They Fight. Kylo doesn’t even pull out a saber at first because he literally has no intention of killing her. Rey fights because she's mad. Leia decides to intervene at this time, which is weird because Kylo still has no intention of hurting Rey. Apparently Leia sending Kylo a text is enough to freak him out. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE TIME FOR FLASHBACKS, MAYBE A ‘YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE’ TO TIE HIM BACK TO HIS NAMESAKE. 

Instead Rey gets him in the gut. She then heals him, something that should have been really intimate. This would have been time to kiss him in that wistful ‘ I wanted to know what it would be like before I exile myself forever way’. This is one of the scenes that desperately needed more breathing room AND GIVE KYLO SOME FUCKING DIALOGUE YOU COWARDS. Healing him combined with Leia stuff should have reduced Kylo to a pile of tears. I think he would find it completely overwhelming that someone thinks he is worth it, worth a part of their life source, worth their final breathes. 

Oh woah surprise Han Solo. This kinda works for me because unlike robot Leia and fairy godmother Luke, Han looks alive. Plus Han is only a memory so Kylo has to save himself, make his own choice. Aww fuck this got me the closest to tears becuase he looks so fucking sad about the fact that he can’t go home. Damn you Adam Driver and you’re big weepy eyes. His mother is dead and I don’t think he ever truly realized that she wanted him back. I guess with the way things went with Luke, he just assumed he was unwanted. Even now, Han is the only one of the 3 Ben can really imagine taking him back. Who knew Han was such a softie.  At the same time there is something so unintentionally sad about the fact that Ben’s whole family can become force ghosts and not a single one gives enough of  a shit about him to show up at the turning point of his life. 

Also the implication that Ben turns to protect Leia’s lifework is strange. Leia’s legacy is the Rebellion, a democratic senate, a planet wiped off the map, NOT SKYWALKER JEDI #2 JJ!!!!! Ben doesn’t even interact with any of the larger powers at work, he just saves Rey. 

Also while Ben’s guilt and shame about killing Han (his true sin) keep him on the dark side, this doesn’t address the 8 million other reasons he left the light. Also why do Leia and Rey never discuss this???? His own fucking family repeatedly rejected him because of his ‘Vadar-ness’ which is ironic considering…….

Then we cut to Rey’s fairy godmother-esque trip to Ahch-To where she arms herself with all of the Skywalker’s personal effects:

Mad that Rian Johnson denied you that ESB fanservice call-back of Luke being able to pull his x-wing out of water?? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered. 

Mad that Leia didn’t have lightsaber? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered, Leia was always prepared to be a back up to Luke because she doesn’t have her own perspective or anything or like a whole fucking political system to run. Also she stopped training because apparently completing her journey would end in Ben’s death...ooo SmArT foreshadowing that Rey using her lightsaber will end in one dead Ben boi. 

Leia and Luke ALWAYS knew about Rey Palps. Which is funny because they threw their own flesh and blood in the trash because he seemed kinda Vader-y. I guess it's wrong to judge people by their bloodlines unless its your own bloodline. I can’t even. 

There is no mention of Ben at all- even though Leia and Luke both died for him and Rey put her whole heart into saving him.  

Now to Exeger or whatever again. Almost two hours in and we’re back at the planet we were on in the first 5 minutes.

Spaceship stuff happens. Take out your checklist to get those pilot and ship cameos. Ooo look its The Ghost! OG trilogy pilot! Lando is there! WOOO! Poe’s girlfriend lived somehow! 

Ben’s last words are ‘Ow’.

Palps wants Rey to kill him because I guess that will make her evil? Since when does killing people make you evil? I don’t think killing Palps to save the world in the same as ‘striking your enemies down in hatred’ or whatever. 

Oh Hey Ben is here. Palps doesn’t care much I guess even though trolling Skywalkers is his whole life’s passion. 

Palps drains the life out of Ben/Rey. They don’t die. Ben goes flying into a pit. Rey has to face Palps alone because I guess even though Ben/Rey are stronger together and are cosmically linked the lone jedi thing will happen anyway?? Is feminism about doing everything on your own rather than building meaningful connections with your equal partner. Honestly only Men would think a women has to do everything alone to prove her worth, Rey has been wanting allies and family her whole life LET HER HAVE IT. 

Also okay sooo Palps did technically kill Rey’s parents and she had about a whole 5 minutes to think about that. Multiple generations of Ben’s family have been tortured by this guy, so I think it would be rather cathartic to see him play a bigger role in the end of Palp.

Rey enters the Avatar State. Cue more fanservice cameos (I love you Ahsoka, but you said it yourself, you ain’t a jedi). In another backhanded slap to TLJ were back on the TheJediDidNothingWrong line of thinking. Anakin is present ...I wonder if anyone else is interested in talking to him…...

Rey dies. I’m not sure why. Palps legit sucked the life of her and she lived, but the Avatar State killed her. 

Ben crawls out of pit. Damn Adam Driver has legs for days. He heals Rey, its kinda sweet but it's also really really weird that he hasn’t said anything. Not saying we need an over the top love declaration but even his emotionally constipated parents managed to get an ‘I love you’ out. 

Ben saves Rey. The thing Anakin thought the dark side would give him the power to do. Interesting bookend. Sad that my boy has such low self preservation, he gives her his life without hesitation. Why do we have to die for other people? It’s much harder to have to live for other people. To move and grow beyond the past. To try and be our best everyday, even when its hard. Isn’t that real redemption? 

Ben kisses Rey. Awww. Its missing some of the elements of a big romantic drama kiss, which I would be okay with ...if it was followed up with a big romantic kiss with a sunset on a new planet before the credits roll. Alas this does not happen. The audience is somewhat befuddled since their had been almost no dialogue referencing their emotional connections. The ‘no one knows me./I do.’ dialogue from the trailer did not appear in film. 

Ben smiles. It has all the boyish charm and innocence Anakin wished he had in the prequels. Aww he really has never kissed anyone. I wonder when the last time he smiled was. HAS THIS MAN EVER HAD A GOOD DAY HIS ENTIRE LIFE. I am emotionally moved until approximately 2 seconds later….

Ben dies. There is no funeral. No mention. Rey doesn’t shed a single tear. This dude literally gave you his life without hesitation. Is Reylo one-sided? Or at least not equally felt? Ow. U The Resistance doesn’t wonder what happened to the Supreme leader. We know at the end of TLJ Luke became a legend, I do not think this happens to Ben. 

The Resistance parties. Cue Return of the Jedi film reel. Poe and Finn are heterosexual. No resolution to the stupid ReyFinn force sensitve thing. Two women kiss. It will be cut out of the Chinese release. 

Rey buries the lightsabers on Tatooine because you know Luke lived there and Leia once wore a metal bikini there. Rey choose the name Rey Skywalker. Which is interesting because she didn’t get along that well with Luke. She finished her training with Leia Organa Solo, Princess of Alderaan who just happens to have been a result of a sperm donation from Anakin Skywalker. She found a father figure in Han Solo. She loved a guy named Ben Solo. I’m not saying she should name herself Rey Solo, but it certainly is better than Rey Skywalker. I mean it's almost like a person's worth and ability aren’t dependent on either a bloodline or acceptance into the galaxies most powerful family. Rey nobody would have been fine.  I’m not going to get into the feminist angle of a self made women tying herself to the legacy of a man. Cue theaterwide groaning. 

Twin suns. Cool. I liked them better in The Last Jedi.

Rey has a yellow-ish lightsaber and maybe made out of her staff. Wonder where she got the crystals from and why they didn’t introduce it earlier. Possible implication she's going the way of the ‘grey’ jedi? idk some Jedi have yellow actually. Ahsoka had a yellow one. Not sure since this film is back on the JediwayisBest bullshit. 

We see Luke and Leia's force ghosts. Ben’s last word was ‘ow’.

In Summary, some odd implications:

Rey Palpatine is quite possibly the worst idea of all time. Worse than midichlorians. The highest level of fanboy pandering and Rian Johnson erasure. Rey has a lot of very real things to be angry about - her rough childhood, the deaths of her mentors, loving someone as dense as Ben Solo, having to come to terms with the fact that her parents didn’t love her. 

Return to prequel-esque thinking on slavery. Apparently it is not that bad if you sell someone as long as you do it with LOVE. 

Making Finn force sensitive is not character development. Its just half assed pandering and additional exposition in a film filled with exposition.

There is some truly awful dialogue in this film. Its shot composition and editing is so sloppy compared to FA or TLJ. 

The force in balance means killing everyone on the darkside. 

Rose is completely sidelined. She is the only Asian character on screen. She is seemingly replaced with a black woman who has a similar background to Finn and is a scavenger like Rey. Yikes. Why does this feel like an anti-interacial relationship thing. 

Said Black women Jarrah talks to Lando, another black character in a bizarre dialogue that vaguely implies all black people are related. I might be really misreading this, but its weird. I would have liked her to talk to Rose instead because female solidarity. 

FinnPoe is played up a LOT. But we are also repeatedly reminded they are attracted to women. This does not feel like woke Bisexual culture. This is pandering without making a commitment. 

Rey’s worth as a character is related to her connection to powerful people in the Star Wars mythos, not her own traits. 

Ben’s character resonates really strongly with abuse victims and outsiders. His lack of dialogue strips him of a lot of his agency.  His estrangement from his family is not resolved. Vader, who arguably did a lot worse things gets a whole dying monologue and force ghost thing. 

Oh hey C3PO said the festival is every 42 year old….OG came out 42 years ago. heh.

In Summary:

Watch the Clone Wars animated series

Fall in love with Ahsoka

Watch Star Wars Rebels or at least all the episodes with Ahsoka and also the series finale, it's got some cool force stuff in it. 

Think about the cool force stuff in Star Wars Rebels and the cool force stuff in The Last Jedi. Woah.

Apply all this cool force stuff to your own personal version of the Rise of Skywalker

Wait for clone wars finale Feb 2020

Rinse and Repeat

Peg Kylo Ren

Oscar Isaac is the Captain on the FinnPoe Ship. 

The Last Jedi was the Best One. Fight Me. 

Find the fanfiction where Rey tells him what a good boi he is which reduces him to a puddle. Find the fanfiction where he cries during sex the first time, the second time, every time. Find the fanfiction where his force ghost gets a hug, where his family welcomes his back. 

Read Fanfiction:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852886

What I would do instead:

Delete Rey Palpatine

Ditch the mask. You have a fucking Oscar nomiated actor hiding under it. 

After the Endor part, have Kylo join either Rey or the Resistance. Personally I think him hitching a ride on the Falcon would have been wonderfully awkward. And maybe give some closure the calling Finn a ‘traitor’ thing. This is fanservice-y, but no more fanservice-y than the rest of the film. And maybe finally answer the question of who does/doesnt know who Kylo Ren is. Would like a verbal declaration that he identifies as Ben Solo or least Ben or something. 

Ben can still die I guess but maybe give him some kinda funeral. Or reuse the golden dice symbolism. 

Slow everything done. Let the audience feel sad, feel happy. Oh and cut out those fucking death fake outs. 

[ansgar-martinsson]

The Best Intentions - Part 6

Ansgar clicked the button on the car-shaped keyfob, and his cherry red car chirped and the boot schussed open in response.

“Ooh, a Tesla,” Joline intoned. “Nice car.”

“I know,” Ansgar quipped. “Ever been in one?”

She shook her head. “Nuh uh. Heard a lot about them, though.”

He strode to the rear of the car, and bent over the boot. He took out his helmet, a matte-carbon and mirrored AGV, and laid that on the tarmac beside him. “Well,” he said, smiling to himself, “maybe after we take your ride for a spin, we can take mine.” He straightened up, and dangled the fob in front of her, just as she did him. “You can even drive it.”

Her eyes blew wide and she clasped her hands together close to her heart, like a child waiting for a bag of candy from her grandmama. She fist pumped, her face squinching with unabashed glee. “Yes!”

The sight of her, earnest as she was, lifted Ansgar’s spirit, just that little bit.

He laughed and turned his attention back to the boot of his car. He retrieved and shook out a black leather motorcycle jacket - a Switchback jacket, emblazoned with “Harley Davidson” in shades of grey across the back. Various patches decorated the sleeves and the breast – a Swedish flag, an American flag, a massive roaring lion’s head, a Sturgis patch with crossed pistols, an ascending eagle, and a straight razor that read simply, “Revenge”.

“Where’d you get that?” Jo stepped forward and reached her hand toward the jacket. “May I? Is this yours?”

“Of course it’s mine.” He chucked it to her, and she caught it deftly. “I bought it in Sturgis, South Dakota. In America.”

“I know where Sturgis is. What were you doing there?”

He chuckled as he continued to rummage through the trunk. “I went there for the rally, of course.”

“You… you ride?” she blinked and clutched the jacket to her breast.

“Why do you think I keep my gear in my car? I didn’t just pack this up this morning, you know.” He winked.

“I… I can’t believe you ride.”

“What’s so hard to believe?” He laughed as he toed off his loafers and stepped into a low slung pair of black Ariat boots, talking as he set his shoes in the trunk, as he took his jacket back from her and shimmied into it, as he fitted a pair of black leather gloves over his hands. “I have a Triumph of my own. A 1972 TR6. Not to mention I spent quite a bit of time on the back of a 2015 Harley Softail in the US a while ago.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Sturgis,” she whispered.

“Perhaps some day you can.” He bent and picked up his helmet, tucking it under his arm. “It’s that dream thing again, Joline. You can do whatever you set your mind to.” He smiled and held up his hand. “And don’t worry. I’m not going to go lecturing you or flapping my gums again.”

She cringed. “Er…maybe I shouldn’t have said –”

“No! I’m glad you did,” he smiled, gesturing for her to walk before him. “Few people would dare speak to me like that. I don’t believe I’ve had anyone tell me that I’m flapping my gums, with the distinct exceptions of my twin brother and my wi–” He stopped and swallowed hard. He looked away, feigning a check of the crossing traffic as he brought his facial features back under control. “Well, just know that I appreciate your candor, and I expect more of it from you from here on out.”

He shifted his helmet from one arm to the other as they approached the bike. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the piece of machinery before him from top to tail. He rest his gloved hand on the gas tank and glided it back over the seat. He whistled appreciatively. “She’s a beauty, Joline,” he said. “Great condition. Absolutely cherry. You must take meticulous care of her.” He crouched down and set his hand on the rear tire. “She has Marchesini wheels as well. Impressive.” Looking up at her, he asked, “Did you put those on yourself?”

“Joline?”

The portrait of a man in leather beside her bike was nearly her undoing. When she offered Ansgar her ride, she assumed a quick spin around the city center. But the man, as he proved from the first moment they met, didn’t do anything by half. Go big, go strong or fuck right off. The smell of leather, male pheromone and wheat rolled off him in a steady current making her lightheaded and woozy with attraction.

Ansgar tried again when she didn’t respond, “Joline?”

“Hmm…” she hummed, her head in a cloud of lust.

“The Marchesini wheels? Did you put those on?”

Joline snapped to, rejoining the conversation, “Oh, I-I-I did,” she bragged over her most prized possession. Looking chuffed to bits that he noticed, she pressed on, “My… uh, my, my dad was a J&P man- all the way, but those were rough as fuck. The handling felt as smooth as rocks in a blender. Riding from Stockholm to Vaxholm was an exercise in masochism. I swiped ‘em out, replaced the spring forks,” she pointed to the part near the front wheel, “and the rear shock absorber. Now Nightingale, she flies.”

He didn’t fully commit to a grin, but admired her work. He picked up on the nickname for her ride. “Nightingale?”

Jo beamed, affectionately patting the leather seat with a flat slap. “Nightingale. Dad named her, and it stuck.”

“Matches your art,” he nodded at the inside of her arm where he spotted her tattoo.

She dropped her gaze to the sidewalk, a lump of sadness forming in her throat. She swallowed it, pushed it aside for the sake of conversation. She took a breath and shed her leather jacket off her left shoulder. “I got it on the one year anniversary of dad’s death.”

A small blue outline of a nightingale bird sat on the inside of her arm, under the bend of her elbow, wings in flight, no more than three inches long. Underneath a Florence Nightingale quote graced her flesh: Live life when you have it.

“Dad used to tell me that all the time.” She nodded at the text. “I honored him that way, I missed his reminders.” Tears filled her eyes, but she managed to blink them away. A weak smile broke the moment and she recovered smoothly with a shrug. “Still raw from it, I guess.”

Ansgar softened his gaze and gave a sympathetic apology, “A touching tribute. I’m sure he’d be proud.”

“Thank you. Now… uh…” she threw her jacket back on her shoulder, “let’s ride!” She replied with a bit more gusto than completely genuine.

He seated his helmet it place upon his head, adjusting the visor in place and nodded for her to do the same. One long leg swung over the top of her bike, and his hips settled into the seat, hand poised on the clutch.

Jo’s eyes went a little wonky witnessing his mount, but she reeled in the hormone show before he noticed. She watched in further appreciation as he righted the bike and started it like the expert rider he claimed to be.

“Get on! Hold onto me!” he ordered through the helmet.

She jumped perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, her waist in line with his, her legs outlining his, her hands gripping the leather of his belt. He was solid and firm and so warm, she felt another rush of blood to her head.

Ansgar eased into traffic fully in control of the bike beneath him, and possibly the woman clutching at his waist. Her grip tightened at intervals depending on the speed they traveled or how close other vehicles got to them. But there was underlying trust in the hold on him, she didn’t fear for her safety, it was more a show of confidence in his skill.

He drove out onto Strombron, past the ships on the water on Skeppsbron, passing by Fotografiska, another Martinsson Construction account. He navigated his way through traffic, the odometer pushing the legal limit just enough for the thrill of riding, but under the traffic camera radar. He signaled where appropriate, but also maintained this air of wild freedom, a flirt of recklessness, but never too much.

Jo didn’t know where he was headed, but she couldn’t find it in her to care.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Did you… did you say twin brother?” Joline wasn’t sure she’d heard right. Her blood soared and her ears rang on the riding high. It had also been the better part of an hour ago. Ansgar pulled off and parked in one of the famed observatory parks that he’d had his hand in at the beginning. He sat in a bench along the edge watching with little interest as joggers, parents and tourists go about their way. But he lorded over the place as if he owned it. His legs sprawled to the width of his elbows hiked upon the wooden slats of the bench back. Joline restrained herself from hopping in the middle of those impressively muscled legs by forcing herself to sit on her own hands.  She hadn’t the first inkling how she’d held onto to him while they rode without embarrassing herself. She’d the opportunity to take advantage and yet, somehow, maintained her dignity. Ansgar only seemed to be testing the boundaries of her restraint. You can’t have him, Jo. Pull yourself together! Ansgar laughed at her very delayed question, turning an eye to her. “Yes. Twin. I have a twin.” There are two of you sexy motherfuckers walking around?! “Congrats!” She said outloud. “For what?” She suddenly blurted a tiny snippet of some of the cleaner ideas running about her head at the speed of light. “The genes… impressive fucking genes in your family.” And that was the clean version. “Your family’s been blessed, with not one, but two sexy men.” He delighted in the freedom of her tongue and the way she said it, without a trace of embarrassment or terror; she owned it. “Do you find me sexy, Joline?” She propped her elbow on the park bench’s back, rotated in his direction and stared at him. “You don’t need me to stroke your ego. You know that everyone finds you sexy. Even that guy,” she jutted her chin at the runner that gave Ansgar a full model survey… three times on his way past.

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E58

In which we learn that shopping episodes are not necessarily shipping episodes. A lean week, but one that allows time for feelings to percolate, perhaps? Masterpost here

+1000 to Yasha/Caffeine as Caduceus’ experiments with brews finally pay off and pull Yasha from her somnambulatory state and into alertness. She is so impressed by the power of his tea that she goes looking for tea leaves in all of the shops. We don’t want to lose her again to a sleep attack, after all.

-2 to Fjord/Caleb. Positives: Caleb defending Fjord from his murder cat, pointing out the “very special manacles” in his bag and that alone when Fjord asks him about items—manacles which, might I add, Fjord has been avidly collecting throughout the campaign—and which effectively shuts down Fjord asking Caleb anything else for the next forever. Asking Fjord to please do the introductions to the miners, supportive intimidating pissing. Negatives: Fjord all “lawl what if we just left Caleb to wander the city alone wouldn’t that be funny” no you absolute asshole.

+1 to Jester/Caleb with a +1 carryover wink from the day previous. A perfect balance of point gains and losses from this point on, with Caleb immediately giving Jester a truly obscene amount of money for diamonds (but it’s for the group, he says, preventing point gains), losing points by giving away all of Jester’s precious pets to keep Yeza happy, but making up for it by gracing her with a purring Frumpkin to adore in their absence, and accidentally mumbling something that sounded a little like “yeah” when Jester asked to keep Frumpkin forever. Jester must know the cat comes with the wizard, though—if she’s going to keep Frumpkin, Caleb will have to be part of that package.

+12 to Jester/Fjord which may have been more, were it not for Jester merely earning what we in the lab call A Point For Trying as she put her foot in her mouth not once, not twice, but somewhere around fifteen different times during the truly horrific conversation at the blacksmith’s, funneling all the rest of her points from the first half of the episode into +20 to Jester/Fjoot in Mouth. However, the pair make up some excellent ground with jellyfish references, switcheroos in riding placement on Yarnball, picking the same infiltration team, much mention of Fjord’s handsomeness and smartness, and “Captain” and “Lieutenant” roleplay which makes Jester the most highly ranked so far of Fjord’s beloved “you work for me” roleplays (it always starts out high…) Nearly earned points with Jester interrogating Yarnball on her tracking ability in response to Fjord’s question, but she was cockblocked by Caduceus Clay and his ability to actually speak with animals, earning the firbolg fond looks from Fjord and +10 to Caduceus/Cat Shaped Creatures

+8 to Caduceus/Fjord. The current theory circulating in the lab is that Caduceus Clay and Jester Lavorre share similar taste in near everything—jewels, armor, tattoos, dresses, and, tragically, men. Which means they must vie for the same romantic interests for perpetuity. Here we have a Caduceus who manages not to put his foot in his mouth (Jester looks to him for help! A bad sign for her), who very effectively talks up how Fjord saved his life on multiple occasions, and marvels at the “layers” he’s discovering Fjord has. Like an onion. Cooking with onions is great, onions are delicious. Therefore Fjord is…..? Anyway, Caduceus also very keenly and insistently “Captain”ing at the man throughout the episode, happily deferring as he makes excellent suggestions on how to proceed with the Giant-Killing-Job, and effusively complimenting Fjord alongside Jester on his intimidation prowess. But no amount of subtlety or cockblocking is going to keep up with the Sheer Baldfaced Panache of Jester’s flirting style—at least not for the moment. Fjord, for his part, contributing a point by steering Caduceus away from random pottery shops and towards a blacksmith like the exasperated husband he is.

+6 to Caduceus/Caleb as Mr. Impatient Wizard Man smears his beard with magic bean paste while Caduceus frantically looks through his bag for something resembling lather. “Never mind, that’s beautiful,” Caduceus says, seeing this. Caduceus wanting to know if he thinks Caleb actually needs a shave, because like the rest of us he is probably attached to a certain level of Caleb Scruff. Keeping a Cure Wounds at the ready for when Yasha inevitably stabs Caleb in the face, but Bleeding Impatient Wizard Man slips away from him before he can use it! Caduceus’ inordinate faith in how of course Intelligent Wizard Man Caleb knows absolutely everything about this magic darkness, and Caleb as always having to poke holes in others’ excessively high opinions of him.

+50 to Caduceus/Every Single (Male?) NPC as Caduceus carries on the kind of conversation you’d have with a date with Wursh the blacksmith, who admiringly speaks of how Caduceus is a “crazy motherfucker” while Caduceus speaks admiringly of how “even his advice has abs.” Both of them going on in a sickening way on how much of an “absolute pleasure” it is to spend time together, how glad they are of each other’s “company” in the blasting heat. Gag. Caduceus also, upon gaining the assistance of a “ballsy” mine worker, being “into it.” Of course you are, Caduceus. Of course you are.

+2 to Fjord/Elvis Impersonation for pelvis thrusting in public.

+10 to Caleb/Cat Shaped Creatures as Caleb is incredibly disappointed he can’t cram the moorbounders into his already cramped Tiny Hut. His affectionate “Who’s a good apex predator” to his blood soaked murder kitty. Also, while the others who bonded to the moorbounders learned only the commands “Halt” and “Jump,” resident cat person Caleb Widogast flaunts his superior connection to catkind by successfully employing a third command: “Piss.” Also +10 to Caleb/Pissing in the Wind

+2 to Beauregard/Lesbian Amnesia as she is incapable of recalling the word “shaft” in any context. Fjord helpfully fills her in, with some instructive hand motions that will also slip completely out of her memory within ten seconds. 

+8 to Beau/Jester as upon Jester’s sincere request, Beau successfully puts a dick in a book at the library! “Would Jester be proud of me?” Beau asks eagerly, as Caleb rolls his eyes at her hopelessness. Beau grinning and entering the stratosphere at the prospect of spending a day clothes shopping with Jester, an activity which by definition involves the putting on (and taking off) of a lot of clothing with a very attractive blue gal. Beau calling on Jester to bring out the heart to the foreman, which didn’t intimidate him most likely because the whole time Jester and Beau were making gooey eyes at it reminiscing about mutilating corpses together.

+1 to Beau/Professor Waccoh as Beau is pleased as punch to show off her youth and muscles and tendency to bite. Failing to hit the mark with a “my fair lady” and stumbling worse with a “professor woman of deep knowledge” flirt, but managing to wring an “I like you!” out of the woman nonetheless.

-5 to Caleb/Books He was so excited to read the books, and he did not get to read the books! Caleb then immediately throws himself 50000% into helping a known weapons developer in her quest to more effectively spill Empire Blood, because no amount of moral handwringing can outweigh his bone deep need to Get A Library Card

-2 to Caleb/Item Hoarding as he resists, barely and with Great Effort, his Spoiled Only Child greediness to just take and keep all the items Waccoh offered as payment. Beau tries to point out that taking item payments and rewarding the group are not Mutually Exclusive, but this does not compute.

+42 to Nott/Yeza as post-reunion the pair perform surprisingly well even while under the Shipping Law of Rising Sexpectations. Pet names, screamed “I LOVE YOU”s, saving your wife from getting fleeced/stealing from assholes rude to your husband, showing the world how #Kinky you are, suggestive eyebrows at fake sex potions that Yeza is definitely going to find a way to brew into Real Sex Potions by the time the crew get back. Points lost for leaving Yeza alone, under effective house arrest in a hotel room as Nott gallivants off to her one true love, Killing Things.

-10 to Yasha/Reading the Room as Caleb tries and fails to gracefully duck out of another greatsword shave because Yasha is too adorably insistent that it’s no trouble really, he doesn’t have to worry about inconveniencing her, she really wants to do this for him. Paying an insane amount of money for a used straight razor for Caleb with no awareness, giving that same shopkeeper the impression that she came to the shop looking for extremely racy alchemical concoctions—if what the duergar had on the counter was “too tame” for her, what kind of amazing sexual adventurer could she be?

-10,000 to Sam Riegel/His Presidential Campaign I don’t know if he can recover from what happened to him this week. I don’t know if it’s possible.

[thanksjro]

Eugenesis, Part Five Scene Seven: Optimus Prime Does Not Know How War Works

The Aquaria team’s about to leave, and they’re all looking positively ridiculous in their fresh new Pretender shells.

This raises a few questions about Magnus’ design. Are the towers meant to come off, or was more of a surgical amputation? If they do come off naturally, why does he keep them on at all times? Does he take them off, and if so, for what occasions? Is Magnus compensating for something?

Siren’s being seen off by Nightbeat, since they’re besties and all. Nightbeat’s caught on to the fact that Siren doesn’t really want to go on this mission. Not like he was subtle about it, but good on you for at least trying to figure out what’s up with ya boy. Siren tries to pass it off as not wanting to leave Delphi behind, but Nightbeat calls him out on that immediately.

Nightbeat, that’s a drop in the ocean for every single one of your species. You’re all old as balls, except for Ultra Magnus and Centurion, and Centurion isn’t even really a Transformer.

Siren relents, admitting that the reason he doesn’t want to go is that he knows they won’t be coming back.

…Siren, come on, man, Nightbeat’s supposed to be the bummer here. This is the real reason he snapped that data disk in half back at the meeting; he’s terrified.

The Aquaria team takes off, and the crowd quickly disperses, leaving Nightbeat and Optimus staring out into the sky.

Optimus needs to leave for his own mission.

Nightbeat, you just saw your best friend off to his probable demise. Please consider perhaps not flirting with your superior officer right now.

Aboard the Trident, Ultra Magnus is beginning to regret not calling shotgun, having been shoved into the backseat. Galvatron’s driving. God help us all.

Magnus notices that they aren’t going in the direction they ought to be- namely up. Galvatron’s got them booking it to Vos of all places, where he quickly lands and shoots out of the ship like a man possessed.

Magnus follows Galvatron, tracking him down the Proton Crater- this is where the Decepticons set off a proton bomb, the very one that caused the entire planet of Cybertron to be thrown into a four-million year war.  

That’s right, Magnus is a nineties kid.

Magnus and Galvatron jump down a hole and wind up in a subterranean duct-system that’s lined with glass for some reason. Galvatron shuts down traps as they go, until they hit a trapdoor with a keypad.

…Okay, hold on, I remember this one from math class.

Now that’s just gratuitous.

They enter the inner sanctum, which holds a glass orb held in a beam of light, containing a single creature- a Scraplet.

That’s right, there’s Scraplets now. Siren might be right about them not making it back to Cybertron.

Back when Cybertron was dealing with the aftermath of something called the Great Plague, the leader of the Decepticons at the time ordered that the Scraplets be studied. These things are literally so scary only a single scientist would get even remotely close enough to take a look at them. Turns out they don’t like glass.

Galvatron took the detour to grab this little specimen because he knows it’s only a matter of time before the Quintessons would have started digging in this area looking for secrets. No way he’s letting them kill everything on the planet.

Siren ain’t making it home.

Over at Kledji concentration camp, the Quintessential Flying Fucks are doing a little spring cleaning.

Yep, spring cleaning. The boys have decided to kill every single guard in the prison, as a show of force to Quantax- he ain’t getting rid of them without a fight. No wonder they missed Quantax’s call.

I feel like I’ve perhaps missed something. This seems like a bit of a jump in logic from the last time we saw these guys, even with the reveal of Ryknia’s Chip.

I guess this makes sense. Still seems like things got a little out of hand here.

Oh, and all the Transformers in this prison are still dying off.

Because you’re in Eugenesis, a place of suffering where nothing goes right and everyone is clinically depressed.

Ryknia’s decided that they should be proactive and murder Quantax as soon as he shows up, then rule the planet themselves. They have the advantage in numbers, and in having hot robot-jet bodies. The troops will fall in line with whoever wins.  

Holy shit, I was kidding, you maniac.

Ryknia wants them to leave the prison immediately.

Jolup you sick fuck, don’t think I have ideas on what you’re doing down there. Ryknia has just straight up lost it at this point.

There was no reason for that.

He jumps out the window and flies away, not bothering to wait and see if the other two are going to follow him.

Back at Delphi, another meeting is happening.

I want to know what kind of orgies Roberts went to that in any way resembled a mission briefing, with or without giant space robots. I want to know where this mental imagery is being pulled from.

Everyone’s eager to get going on the counterattack.  

Optimus you should be thrilled. This could be the start of the end of your several million year war, and you’re hung up on folks getting vaguely comfortable with one another? Would you rather they be at each other’s throats while you try to organize this attack on the Quintesson Fortress? I’m starting to think you don’t actually want this war to end. I got my eye on you, bucko.

Nobody tell him about the hit Rodimus put out on the Time Travel Trio.

Optimus gets on with his speech, showing us exactly how a self-fulfilling prophecy works. He- the god-king of the Autobots, beloved and worshipped by all- gives them a rip-and-slash monologue on how they’re basically the best at war and are gonna kick some ass. The crowd eats it up, because it’s fucking OPTIMUS PRIME saying it.

And he has the nerve to be disappointed in everyone.  

This motherfucker could read the back of a soup can label and they’d go nuts over it. Optimus doesn’t seem to realize how much of an icon he is at this point, even after the Nightbeat/Hosehead/everyone instances of hero worship.  

I’d like to remind everyone that this is the same guy who joined the Autobots so he could punch Megatron in the face. Somebody go get Soundwave and have him tell Optimus just how conflicted Galvatron is about continuing this stupid war. Quickly, before he starts grounding everyone for being excited about stopping a genocide.

Anyway, that’s the end of Part Five.

Oh, shut up.

[tinylilemrys]

Merlin 3x12 “The Coming of Arthur: Part 1” Highlights

Firstly, that title has to be remarked upon. I’ve definitely read fanfiction that explores that concept in detail ;)

Our story begins in the dead of night. No, wait, sorry – with dead knights.

NOT LEON THOUGH, YOU MONSTERS

(I know he hella survives and is one of the knights living at the end of the series, but stillI)

(hands off)

Good guy druids fixing up a knight who would probably kill them

(More evidence that like Merlin could have fully come out as magic to all of the knights and they probably all would have been 100% chill with it)

Leon x Arthur is a good ship we don’t talk about enough

I really love how creative magic folk are at naming things. “We have this cup that brings people back to life, but what to call it?” – “How about ‘The Cup of Life’?” – “That’s fucking genius. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Weirdly, Uther’s fears in this episode end up being somewhat justified? But, like, in a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of way.

It’s really great that we keep getting invited to Gaius and Merlin’s exposition dinners or I would have no clue what’s going on

Arthur: “I will bring only my most trusted men.” – cut to Merlin helping Arthur pack for the quest that they are going on alone

Arthur: “You will be ready by sunrise won’t you, Merlin?” – Merlin: “If I don’t know where we’re going, how will I know what to pack? Willitbehotwillitbecoldwillitbewetwillitbedry?”

Merlin joking that if Arthur told him where they were going, he’d have to kill him and Arthur’s completely deadpan delivery of “Immediately and without hesitation.”

Morgana’s eyeliner is particularly dark this episode – a clear indication that the evil is strong with her

Sometimes Morgause does her creepy whisper thing, other times she arrives with the tinkling of chimes. How does Morgana ever know when to expect her?

Look, I may not approve of how they’re bonding, but I’m glad Morgana is getting to bond with her sister. They always look so happy after cooking up an evil scheme together

Oh Cenred, your wig was such a disaster, but you’re played by Tom Ellis so I love you anyway

Cenred, quit while you’re ahead, bro. You’re trying to sleep with one whole lesbian.

Oh man, Merthur banter on horseback while on a quest is the best kind of banter

Arthur being like “maybe this time we won’t have any problems” and immediately getting hit in the neck with a blow-dart is at least 90% of what the show is about

Merlin’s absolute delight at seeing Gwaine and how Gwaine immediately starts flirting with Merlin

*makes mental note to find more Arthur/Merlin/Gwaine fanfiction because their dynamic is so great*

The immediate fear on Arthur’s face when Merlin is chosen to fight the champion and how he volunteers to take his place (even though the champion is Gwaine and the chances of Gwaine doing anything to hurt Merlin are nonexistent)

It’s a testament to how powerful Morgause is that Cenred, a medieval king with riches and power at his disposal, as well as a probable lack of regard for the agency of women, looks super sheepish when she yells at him for losing Arthur

Cenred: “Are you threatening me?” – Morgause: “Trust me, Cenred. When I’m threatening you, you’ll know about it.”

The rules of the fight are simple: one man lives and one man dies. You just know 100% Gwaine would have sacrificed himself to save Merlin. Merlin would have never let that happen of course, but the thought would have been there

As usual, it’s Merlin who comes to his own (and everyone else’s) rescue

Arthur tells Gwaine all cagey-like that they’re on a quest and Merlin immediately pipes up cheerfully “we’re looking for the Cup of Life”, because of course he does. It’s Gwaine they’re talking to. He doesn’t keep secrets from Gwaine

EXCEPT FOR THE ONE THAT GWAINE WOULD HAVE BEEN 100% COMPLETELY COOL WITH

YOU KNOW, THE BIG ONE

(Not that I’m still salty or anything)

Listen, the amount of posturing between Gwaine and Arthur whenever they’re together is fucking delightful, particularly in this episode where they’re bickering about who’s better with their sword. And I love how Merlin has no time for it because as per the usual, he was the one that got them out of the situation

I love how the Druids are always framed as the polar opposite to Uther and how every time Arthur encounters them, his mind is changed about magic just a bit

This whole show could have been solved if Arthur had spent a year with the Druids at some point is what I’m saying

Merlin: “I don’t hear anything.” – Arthur: “Exactly.” – Gwaine: “Never satisfied, you city types. ‘It’s too noisy. It’s too quiet.’”

I need to find or write more stories where Gwaine is from a farm in the middle of nowhere. I forget sometimes that he’s a country mouse

As Merlin watches the Cup tumble away down the hill, he realises that it would be fucking great to have a spell that summons things back to you. He spends the next several decades developing the spell “Accio”

Merlin covering an injured and poisoned Arthur with his jacket, even though he’s basically skin and bones and will probably freeze to death without it

I mean, think about it. How often do you see Merlin not wearing his jacket – even when Arthur isn’t wearing a jacket and has his sleeves rolled up? Merlin’s always cold, change my mind

Oh man, Morgana is so twisted playing with Uther’s emotions. I love her so much

The way Gwaine teases Merlin before acquiescing his request to go get firewood (so that Merlin can use magic to heal Arthur while he’s gone) is so cute, but should never have happened because Merlin could have just FUCKING HEALED ARTHUR IN FRONT OF GWAINE. LIKE GWAINE WOULD HAVE GIVEN TWO SHITS. HE’S NOT EVEN FROM CAMELOT GODDAMMIT

And then Morgause straight up kills Cenred because if her sister’s going to have a kingdom, she may as well have one too

Gaius talks about them having a traitor in their midst and even as he says it, Morgana doesn’t hide her self-satisfied smirk. Power move

Morgana has no reason to hide her true intentions from Gwen anymore and so offers her the chance to survive and be a part of her new Camelot, and Gwen, being the wise, resourceful woman she is, pledges loyalty to Morgana because it’s the only smart move at that point

Listen, Morgana still deeply cares about Gwen. She looks so happy when it looks like Gwen will be on her side. She just cares about power more

Okay so it seems that Elyan has been in Camelot the whole time. So where the hell was he a few episodes ago when Gwen was about to be executed??

Merlin ordering Arthur around because he needs treatment is both hilarious and the sweetest

Gaius’ relief at seeing Merlin again is so lovely. He’s always happy to see his boy safe and sound

This motherfucking vial of Avalon water is going to be squandered in the next episode and I’m still mad

Arthur sends Gaius, Gwaine and Elyan to the woods outside of Camelot and tells Merlin he should go with them instead of going to look for Uther with him and Merlin’s response is “Nah, I’ve seen the woods already”. HOW CUTE??

Also, Arthur’s look of relief that Merlin will be with him is so pure

Also also, how Merlin keeps checking on the still injured Arthur every five seconds because he’s so worried about him

I just… love them so much

OH SHIT THE MORGANA REVEAL AND CORONATION

I FORGOT HOW DRAMATIC IT IS

(like it was ever going to be anything less though)

and now for my favourite episode of the entire show

< 3x11 | 3x13 >

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 100: High Expectations

Alright, this time for real. We’re going to be diving into Chapter 100: High Expectations.  Which is fairly ironic given how my sources on the recent chapters actually didn’t have much to say about this chapter.  Which hasn’t been an actual thing since Chapter 96: Unspoken Rule. So contrary to the title of the chapter, I actually have no real expectations going into this thing, which means this is either going to be really boring and uninteresting, or…

Taeshi can do what Taeshi does best.

In either case, we start with the now ever-present Moody Mike.  Upset about his burnt to atomic ashes relationship with Lucy, his completely absent shell of a relationship with Sandy and more.  Actually now that I think about it, that’s something I haven’t really gotten into with these rants.  NEW MIKE! I guess I never felt the need to since Moody Mike has been a mainstay for a while long before these recent chapters, and it seems that for the most part the chapters seemed to be more focused on Paulo, Daisy, Abbey, and occasionally Mike.  And in the chapters where it was centered more around him, there wasn’t much to really comment on with his behavior as it was just Mike being Mike. And often times he’d be skirted off in lieu of shit and characters we actually cared about. Speaking of which,

Daisy nabs Paulo a chocolate pudding from the cafeteria, and I honestly love Paulo in this scene.  It feels like his character in the dialogue, although I will say I have no idea what public school serves shit like this.  I know my high school never had any dessert of any kind. The closest thing to that, would be either stuff you bought from clubs doing sales, or strawberry milk or if you were lucky vanilla milk.  If you switched that pudding for strawberry milk motherfucker, I would actually be Paulo in this situation.  For a highschool teen that shit was the bomb.  Oh and Mike’s being a grouch but who gives a shit.

Of course this leads to some ship baiting between Paulo and Daisy, but I don’t have any problems with it. I think it’s cute, and all but of course

It comes with a bit of stipulation…Hey Abbey did Sue’s actual words of wisdom sink in?  Did you listen?

Guess not.  Oh well, I guess we’re just being reminded that yes Abbey does still resent Paulo, and Paulo is still scared of Abbey.  Anyway, what’s this chapter really about?  Are we going to finally get into Mike’s problem with Sandy?

D’awww look at that.  That is just precious.

Awwww, she thinks she’s an actual character!  Cute, but seriously what’s this chapter about?

Oh, we’re actually staying on this subject?  Fuck, alright then. Let’s go Abbey, tell us again about how you feel like we haven’t heard it before.  I’m sure even though Susan hasn’t gotten through to you, and neither has Daisy, I’m sure that Jasmine will be the one to finally reach you! (also, I just realized that hand is a bit too detailed for the style now that I’m looking at it, it’s like it’s someone else’s hand there it’s so jarring)

Yes, Abbey.  Because everyone else is able to build their opinions based on contextual knowledge about both Paulo and Daisy, and are able to have empathy for both parties and see the good and the flaws in Paulo to realize that he’s not that bad of a person, and people who want to say that he’s nothing but a selfish womanizing idiot either don’t understand the nuance of his character, or are purposefully ignoring the actual good of his character not only in recent chapters with his pussification, but also his supportive and defensive nature towards loved ones in earlier volumes.

Well holy shit, Jasmine color me surprised.  You said something in-line to building your character!  It’s almost as if, you having been in a relationship with Paulo understand that he’s more than what others like Abbey see in him!  He’s more than just a flirt, he’s not that fucking bad.  IN FACT!

I am legitimately happy about Jasmine’s character in this scene.  She’s putting her foot down, she’s showing how supporting she can be, but also holding to her own strong morals.  Abbey on the other hand is still acting like a little bitch boy who’s upset he can’t have it his way.

Then you’re what?

I would’ve gone with “hypocrite” but all very good answers. I’m very proud of all of you.

Trying to force your loved ones to turn their back on someone they also care about, and making the situation worse by judging them for making their own decisions on who they hang out with on the other hand… Yeah that’s kind of a bad thing to do.  Especially since, I…

Don’t actually remember much about Abbey ever really supporting Daisy in what she does…  Like we’re hammered over the head about how Daisy is helping Abbey, going to therapy, taking his side, going to bat for him. But I’m not sure about Abbey doing similar for her.  Like, when did Abbey go to Daisy’s cheer meets?  Or try to get himself involved with things she loves?  I mean, did Abbey even know that Daisy was interested in that author dude at the convention?  Did Abbey ever take notice to what Daisy wants?  Did he ever really shush out her insecurities about feeling unattractive outside of just being there?  

I just realized, there’s a question we’ve been missing this entire time…Was Abbey ever really a good boyfriend for Daisy? Huh…I may have to think about this one.

Anyway, Jasmine talks some sense into the boy, and like I said she shows how she can be supportive and understanding.  And also

Yeeeaah… Uhhh…  I really want to get into that “breakup” but I feel that’d be too long of an aside.  Imma just put it on the backburner and let you finish.

But yeah, Jasmine ends up making a good case for Paulo, and I find it very nice honestly!  It’s a very good reprive from the bullshit anger she had towards Paulo back in the Garbage Pick Up chapter.  It is kind of wishy washy how she goes back to being like “Oh yeah, Paulo’s not a bad person and doesn’t deserve so much hatred.” After how she badmouthed him before, but that badmouthing in itself was bullshit so it kind of counters out and I’ll take it if it means that Jasmine can be her own fucking person with her own fucking opinions based on her own experience now.  Although she still retains a bit of her cocksleeve status, as Abbey accepts this and it seems that NOW he’s starting to get the message.  I guess he has no choice, if he gives Jasmine the same treatment as Susan, or Daisy of disregarding their advice he’d be shit out of luck.  This is the last character who somewhat matters that isn’t in a relationship, Abbey.  Don’t fuck it up.  And before you say Rachel is available now, FUCK YOU SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT.  SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN ABBEY.

Anyway, we’re back to the actually important characters and Paulo is freaking out.   Which y’know, is pretty understandable given how Abbey’s lashing out was pretty unprompted and out of nowhere.  So it would make sense for Paulo to think the same would happen. But apparently, Moody Mike is not having it and is insistent on making this chapter about him.  

Oh my god are we doing this? Oh shit, are we trading victim cards here?  First of all, Mike your victim card doesn’t work with that statement because as far as I remember, Lucy never attacked you out of fucking nowhere when you were just hanging out with your friend and doing them a favor.  It was usually because you were being a little annoying prick.  But more importantly, just fucking stop with that okay?  This isn’t fucking Yu-Gi-Oh, you shouldn’t use your fucking victim card as a fucking excuse for being an uncaring asshole to your friends’ problems.  Which is especially infuriating given how when Paulo was assaulted,

You were the first person who showed actual genuine concern for Paulo after being assaulted.  And it seemed you continued to do so, with your friendship with him being strengthened and finding common ground!  But oh, nope can’t have that because now you’re having a bad time and oh no Sandy’s not giving you attention, so you need to be bitchy to everyone else so they can give you attention.  Oh boy!  Mike, I have noticed how I’ve been very light on you in these recent chapters.  So thank you.  Thank you for giving me this opportunity to finally show some o dat good ol’ Mike hate!

And it seems that this turn of character is not lost on Paulo too!  And I gotta say, I hate how Paulo had been turned to a more passive character.  But oh my god, this shit right here.  

Mwah, that’s the good shit. Oh Paulo, you absolute mad lad I applaud you in actually making valid points towards Mike and calling him out for his bullshit.  

Things start to get heated, as Paulo snatches Mike’s phone to get his attention so he can finally talk about what the fuck his problem is.  And oh man, that fucking burn.  OOF damn Paulo you are savage.  However, Mike brings up a good counterpoint.

Jesus Christ, Mike you were not kidding!  And to top it off, Mike’s using his fucking levitation powers to bring the smackdown too! He’s not even standing on a chair or anything, this man is going full Carrie mode!

Anyway, Mike storms away from the table and… I just realized something again.  Weren’t Rachel, Madison, Jess and Matt also at the table? Wouldn’t they have a few things to say about this situation? (actually now that I think about it I don’t think I’d like to hear Madison chime in with her usual demeanor on this situation) but for real where are they?  We set that up in Table for One, but I just realized it’s never actually been utilized for anything.  Did they just leave after Paulo and Rachel broke up?  What a pointless plot point, that only lasted for one day.  Anyway, at least we’re getting into what this chapter’s actually about I guess…What is this chapter about?

Oh shit, are we getting a resurgence of Sue?!  Between this and the birthday party, Sue is finally being the character she’s supposed to be!  Praise be! And look!

She’s showing off her character!  She cares, she’s trying to be proactive, she’s being a fucking character again! Yes!  These are good talking points!  Work it out!  Give me more!

Oh you blue balling piece of shit.  How dare you deny me the rare Good Sue.  Fine then, we’ll focus on Paulo, what’s he doing now?

Running away in a panic, alright then… I’m glad I’m missing out on an actual straight talk between a sensible Sue and Moody Mike for this.  Whatever, where are you going with this?

Okay, he passes by Abbey who is seemingly happier now with his new friends.  An obvious punch to make Paulo feel guilty about Abbey.  Whatever, we’re not focusing on that.  Where are we going?  Is Paulo going to the nurse or something?  Actually, y’know what?  Where are the student aids?  Like, when I went to high school I remember you couldn’t pass two halls without bumping into an adult student aid who was watching the kids for this kind of shit. Where are the student aids?  Or the On-Campus-Officers?  Was my rinky dink coconut public high school somehow more well-equipped than this high school that apparently can serve DESSERT in the cafeteria?! Where the adults in this situation?!  Where the hell are we going?!

Oh…shit…

Oh no…

OH! OH NOW WE’RE CONTINUING WITH SUE AND MIKE?!  NOW WE’RE DOING THIS SHIT?  WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING IT LIKE THIS?! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST FOCUS ON ONE FUCKING THING, YOU WERE DOING SO WELL BEFORE! Oh whatever, if I bitch about the pacing here now we’ll never get out of here.  At least Sue is talking sense, and trying to actually be proactive and figure out what’s wrong.  And I like how it doesn’t take long for her to deduce the problem too.

BAM! OBLIGATORY JANUARY REFERENCE! GET IT IN THERE BABY! WE BEEN LONG OVERDUE!

Anyway, Sue is actually trying to piece things together to try and solve this problem, but Moody Mike has evolved into Defensive December Mike!  The worst Mike of all.  Deflecting and lashing out at everyone else, screaming at people in order fix his problems by not dealing with his problems at all.  Digging into the past bullshit to excuse what’s going on now, guilt tripping people by using the actions he let them get away with as leverage.  This is the sort of Mike that made people hate Mike.

Luckily, Sue just walks away in an honestly pretty somber moment.  Poor Sue, actually trying to help for once but always being shot down and disregarded.  But as Mike lashes out at her again, she drops the mic saying one final thing for Mike to simmer on.

Oh wait, no that was the mic drop from January for Mike.  Where Daisy tells Mike that his negligence towards his own problems has caused a clear divide that can not be tolerated anymore and is driving everyone away. And how it’s unfair for him to force upon his friends to deal with and solve his problems for him.  But for real, what’s the actual ending?

Oop!  Wait, sorry nope that was me again channeling January.  What Sue actually says is!

Well that’s…underwhelming.

Seriously?  “You’re so unpleasant”?  “I can’t let you talk to me this way”?  That’s it?!  That’s all you have to say?  Come on, you were doing so well with Sue in this scene.  All jokes aside, I actually liked her appearance here! I appreciated this scene!  But this is the fucking mic drop?!  This is what Sue says to Mike after getting yelled at, and realizing that he’s gone too far for her to help?  Come on, you can do better than that Taeshi! Anyway, let’s check in on Paulo and Lucy I guess.

Oh boy, look!

See guys?  It’s just like Lacey predicted!  Everyone is so judgy and hating her just because she’s hanging out with Augustus!  See? Lucy was right, an-

I don’t want to hurt anymore… Please stop.

Well I guess we’re not done with the melodrama and shouting, but I will say that Paulo is making sense here. He’s not just deflecting or arguing that this is about something else, like Mike.  

However, it seems that this comic only allows for one person per scene to have a braincell and Paulo is hogging it all.  While Lacey is still being her cold and uncaring self.  Paulo here, while seeming to be the clear aggressor is very clear at least for why he is upset and making good points. Lucy on the other hand is taking the Mike approach and…

Deflecting the problem by making it seem about how it’s Paulo’s problem and not hers anymore because she is wiping her hands clean of her past relationships.  Sure.  Alright guy.

At least Paulo is retaining his one brain cell to see through this bullshit, and call out the problem! Y’know… LIKE HOW HE USED TO BE!  AND HOW HE SHOULD’VE BEEN!  NOT WANTING TO LEAVE A PROBLEM ALONE WHEN HE SEES IT, AND TRY TO ARGUE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!  

But of course, Lacey is Lacey, and Lacey doesn’t care because why should she?  She never cared about Paulo or anyone else’s feelings since her return, and has only done things for her own self interest because that’s her character now I guess.  Whatever. Y’know…if you told me three years ago that in three years I’d end up hating and bashing on Lucy more than Mike…I won’t say I wouldn’t believe you, because I’m cynical enough to believe any bullshit you tell me about what happens in the future of this comic.  But I don’t think I would have been able to take this bullshit.

But in either case, Lucy’s uncaring attitude is starting to make Paulo breakdown, and I find myself siding with Paulo a bit.  I mean, yes she fucking does owe them some fucking answers, or a cursory status update. But of by the end of this page of course it goes back to the shipping which is of course the main purpose of almost all conflicts in BCB.  And we’re reminded again of the carnival chapter when…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

OH GOD!  I PICTURED IT AGAIN!  IT WON’T FUCKIGN LEAVE!  NO! STOP! PLEASE STOP FUCKING BRINGING THAT SHIT UP!  IT DIDN’T HAPPEN IT DIDN’T HAPPEN IT DIDN’T HAPPEN IT’S NOT CANON NOT CANON NOT CANON NOT CANON NOT CANON!

I am right there with you Paulo…

Why does Ms. Vera torture us like this?  Why can’t she just write a main character who is likeable, healthy, and stable, who makes sense?  Why must she tease us with this false idol of a character whom we once loved, cared about, and worshipped?  Were we not good enough?  Have we not suffered enough?  Where did we go wrong?

But finally, finally, Lacey shows some fucking remorse in seeing how her absence, and actions have affected the ones she cared about, as Paulo slinks away a sobbing mess.

Leaving Lacey to stand there, looking at the damage she has done and silently reevaluate where she stands in all of this.  A powerful scene that plants the seed for what should be inner turmoil in Lacey’s character that will no doubt follow her in the future…

Okay, that’s the last fake out I promise.  But for real, the first time I read this scene this ending felt weird.  Like, Paulo slinking away saying “Fuck it, I get it. It’s a lost cause, nevermind you obviously don’t care about how I or anyone feels.” is a very strong note, but it gets undercut by these last two almost pitifully spiteful panels.  It’s like the same problem I had with the previous scene, in that the ending is not as strong as the rest of the scene deserved it to be.  

But even though that is a strong enough note to end on, we are not done yet it seems as Daisy meets up with Paulo again to talk about what just happened.  The subject ends up turning back to Lucy, and Augustus but…

Paulo doesn’t tell Daisy about her hanging out with Augustus.  I guess to save face, and not upset her but honestly I don’t care enough about this to dig too deep.  There’s been 3 big scenes I’ve had to talk about here already, I don’t have the mind to care about this either.  

But anyway, the chapter ends with Paulo denouncing the false prophet Lucy and again setting sail on that Paulo X Daisy ship.   And that is the end.

So all in all, this chapter for what it is, is at least seemingly progressing these conflicts by bringing them to the forefront once more.  We’re again acknowledging Mike’s unstable relationship with Sandy, which has now reached a boiling point.  Lacey has finally had someone stand up and call her out for her flippant and cold nature. And Abbey has seemingly found a new home and is choosing to side with Jasmine to not let Paulo bother him so much.

Now the real question is: Will any of these progressions come up soon, or make a real difference in these characters for the better?

I give this chapter a 4/10. I would go lower, but it has promise and there were good points brought up.  I’d go higher, but it falls on its face at the end a few too many times.  We’ll just have to wait and see where it goes.

[lettersofsky]

There’s a Beginning Here, If Only You Were Brave Enough To Grasp It

Week One of Conciliatory Theme Month for @diamondsandclubsmonth ! Flirtations/Beginnings I’m definitely using this as an excuse to play around with some pale gamruss between working on other things yes I am.

Homestuck Gamzee Makara, Horuss Zahhak | <> gamruss Earth-C AU, Pale Ship, Moiralligence, Fluff, Small bit of background angst?

Horuss… had not meant to pale flirt with the Alternian Makara, he really, truly had not meant to it had just… it had just occurred without his conscious thought or effort. He was not even truly sure how it had happened, he had just…

Horuss did not even know how to start to explain what he had done to imply to the other purpleblood that he had been seeking out their attention and regards in a pale manner, he had just done so apparently.

It had not truly been his intention to fuss and worry over the other purpleblood in the manner he had upon meeting them for the first time, but Gamzee had just been so thin, so skinny and messy that Horuss had just… He just had to fuss over them.

Kurloz had brought Gamzee along to their friend group’s regular meet-up, something about wanting to get the other clown out more without exposing them to their Alternian counterparts for one reason or another and Horuss, had immediately taken to the young clown and tried to get them to eat literally everything he reasonably could. No one had really stopped Horuss, or brought the actions to his attention, not even Gamzee themself, so he had just continued with the behaviour for the rest of the night.

Thinking back on his own behaviour upon that first meeting; trying to feed Gamzee and tidy them up even the slightest amount, and the wide-eyed acceptance Gamzee had reacted to it all with. He had come on so strong, far too strong for a first meeting with someone and it was only natural that Gamzee had assumed he had pale intentions towards them.

Really Horuss was lucky that the purpleblood had not taken offense to his forwardness, he might not have been so lucky with other trolls. And Gamzee was more than within their rights to respond to them however they wished.

And if however they wished was to pale flirt with him in return then who was Horuss to stop them?

It, was not as if he was particularly unhappy about being the recipient of such intentions. It was nice to experience being on the receiving end of messages meant only for conversation and checking in on him, informing him that Gamzee had been thinking about him and just wanted to speak with him for a little while, wanted to converse and learn about Horuss and his interests and share theirs in return.

It was nice.

It should not have been nice, but it was. Horuss knew what the other Makara had done, what they were capable of and with all the warnings he’d been given about Gamzee, he was aware that allowing the pale flirtations to occur and continue might not have been in his best interest.

terminallyCAPRICIOUS started trolling clandestineTECHNICIAN

TC: yO :o) TC: HoW YoU DoInG ToDaY PoNyBrO?

CT: 8=D I am fairing quite well on this hay, thank you for your inquiry. CT: 8=D Hay I inquire as to how you are doing in return?

TC: oH HeLl yEaH PoNyBrO :oD TC: I’M DoIn aLl kInDs a gOoD ToDaY TC: MoThErFuCkEr wEnT An hAd tHeMsElF A GoOd aF DaY GeTtIn tHeIr bAkE On TC: mAkIn aLl kInDs a dOuGh XoD  

CT: 8=D So you are prospering in your current career choice then? CT: 8=D That is mare than good to hear, I am glad that things are working out well for you.

TC: aW BrO TC: YoU MaKiN A MoThErFuCkEr bLuSh yOu iS TC: AlL Up aN BeIn hApPy tHaT I’M DoIn gOoD FoR MySeLf TC: nEaR DoWnRiGhT ShAmEfUl yOu iS ;o)

CT: 8=D I suppose you could hay that, though I would neigh call concern towards you shameful by any meaning of the word, neigh at all in fact. CT: 8=D I am simply very glad to hear that you are doing well for yourself in the occupation you hoof chosen as worthy of your time. CT: 8=D I can only hope that it continues to treat you kindly as time continues to pass.

TC: PoNyBrO’S BeIn aLl kInDs a bLaTaNt wItH HiS AtTeNtIoNs iS He? ;o) TC: ‘NoUgH Ta wInD A MoThErFuCkEr’s pUmPeR Up fOr hE’S TaKiN IfFiN He wAs tHe kInD Ta bE TaKiN It ;o) TC: bUt a mOtHeRfUcKeR HaD A DiFfErEnT ReAsOnIn tA BeIn aLl uP An iN CoNtAcTiN WiTh yA

CT: 8=D Oh really?

TC: MoThErFuCk yEaH I DiD :oD TC: I WaS WaNtIn tA KnOw iF Ya’d bE CoOl wItH Me cOmIn tA ExIsT In yA HiVe a bIt TC: gOtS A ThInG I WaNnA Be gIvIn yA :o)

CT: 8=D A gift? CT: 8=D You did neigh need to acquire anything to gift to me, truly you did neigh.

TC: NaH I AlL Up aN WaNtEd tOo :oD TC: i tHiNk yA GoNnA Be aLl kInDs a eXcItEd tA SeE It! TC: I Be hOpIn sO At lEaSt XoD

CT: 8=D I am sure that whatever you hoof decided to gift me with I will enjoy it immensely.

TC: dAwW! TC: lOoK At tHiS PoNyBrO BeIn aLl kInD ToWaRdS Me TC: sTrAiGhT Up mIrAcLe yOu iS

CT: 8=D Now you are starting to approach acting foolishly.

TC: It’s bEiN AlL KiNdS A TrUe tHoUgH ;o)

CT: 8=D I shall see you soon enough Gamzee.

TC: Be sEeIn yA SoOn pOnYbRo :o)

terminallyCAPRICIOUS has ceased trolling clandestineTECHNICIAN

Horuss did not really care as to listen to anyone else’s warnings regarding the more dangerous of the Makaras. What he thought and his decisions did not really effect anyone but he himself and if he wanted to be the recipient of Gamzee’s pale attentions and give the clown his in return then he would.

This was not the first time he had had Gamzee within the space of his hive, nor did he believe it was going to be the last. He enjoyed having the other within his space, it felt good to have them there, to have them so wrapped up and surrounded by things that were wholly and completely Horuss’ was a very good feeling indeed. Especially when the clown decided to stay for dinner and let Horuss feed them with things he had earned and prepared himself, that was definitely an occurrence that inspired a number of pale feelings in his chest.

He had not had the courage to bring up the flirtations and intents with Gamzee, not face to face as he wanted to he just… was not quite ready to take that final step to tell Gamzee as to what he wanted with their… relationship. He believed that they were both more than aware of what they wanted from each other, that they were being more than blatant with their flirtations towards each other but neither of them were ready to actually talk about it.

They would talk about it eventually, Horuss knew they would it was only a matter of time really, there was no need to rush either of them, none at all, they would get there at their own pace.

Gamzee arrived within the next hour, dressed in clean clothing that pleased Horuss quite a bit to see, a gift held within their hands and a small smile on their face, lips quirking more so when Horuss stepped back to invite them into his hive.

“It is good to see you,” he said as he closed his door behind Gamzee, secluding them both within the safety of his walls. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

Gamzee nodded and moved with the confident assurance of someone who’d been in the space a number of times before and was comfortable in the space they were in, another thing that had pale starbursts firing off inside the base of his chest. Having someone else so comfortable and at ease within his space, watching Gamzee drop into the corner of the couch and immediately press their spine into it, churring a soft, content noise once they were comfortable.

Horuss blinked, shaking his head a little bit as he realized that he was staring at the clown, forcing himself to move forward and join Gamzee on the couch, attempting to settle on the opposite side of the purple blood in a near-instinctive motion before the clown gestures for him to sit closer, next to him on the piece of furniture. He swallowed once they were both seated and settled, looking down towards the fidgeting clown next to him, looking them over closely.

“You look good,” he said, watching Gamzee’s head snap up towards his, purple eyes blinking up at him curiously before they realized when Horuss had said and a flush of colour became just barely visible under their face paint. “You hoof been eating correctly, hoof you neigh? You certainly look like you hoof, which is mare than good because I GREATLY prefer when you look healthy and neigh like you are about to crumble into yourself at a marement’s notice.”

“Aw you motherfuckin smooth talker, you,” Gamzee said, head ducking and the half-formed fins on their ears fluttering slightly. “Know how ta get a motherfucker inta their pumper cavity, ain’t ya?”

“I suppose so,” Horuss chuckled lowly, raising a hand to muss through his long ponytail. “But you came around to gift me something, did you neigh?”

“Yeah,” Gamzee breathed, turning the plainly wrapped package in their hands for a few breaths before they handed it to Horuss, keeping their attention focused down instead of on Horuss himself. “I be hopin ya enjoy it.”

“Thank you,” Horuss took the package from Gamzee’s hands, carefully starting to unwrap it to reveal what was being held within.

The paper fell away to revealed a round metal tin, cool and smooth under Horuss’ hands. Opening the lid of the tin revealed a number of decorated biscuits in the shape of hoofbeasts, Horuss recognized each one’s colouring as hoofbeasts he’d shown the clown at previous points in time, either through trollian or in their day to day interactions.

“I…” he started, falling silent as he was unable to think of anything in particular to say in response to the gift.

“Do you… like ‘em?” Gamzee questioned softly, shifting closer to Horuss on the couch, a clawed hand reaching out to curl purposely around his wrist, a steady, comforting weight on his skin.

“I do,” he breathed, picking one of them up to inspect it closely, looking over the details in the frosting, the main, the hoofbeast’s face, so much little detail worked on just for him. “Thank you Gamzee.”