#lots of skags

[missoneminute]

Do you know if there's like a list of which songs Peter and Carl wrote bout eachother anywhere?

Hello! I did some write ups a while back which are here and here but it's incomplete and it doesn't go up to the Jackals or the new album and not everything in it I still agree with. Perhaps someone else would like to do an updated version. There's a LOT of songs that have small references to one another rather than being entirely about each other, but a short list of songs that feel like they are largely for one another would be (and there is some I am forgetting no doubt): Waterloo, Fuck Forever, Bang Bang You're Dead, Can't Stand Me Now, Sedative, Let It Rain, The Delaney, Unbilotitled, 8 Dead Boys, Bound Together, Skag & Bone Man, Plan A, Pay The Lady, Songs They Never Play on the Radio, Blood on My Shoes. And also the Shiver demo version obviously. x

[aardvark-123]

~Excessively Twee Borderlands Headcanons: Cuisine Edition~

Gaige has a big appetite, yet can easily forget to eat when she's busy vault hunting or tinkering with robots. It usually fell to Axton to remind her to eat; while he may not be the maturest of men, he understands that the body needs fuel. Gaige has made some attempts at cooking, but her marshmallow and crisp spaghetti carbonara proved to be an acquired taste.

Amara loves Partali's spicy, aromatic cuisine. She laments that few of the Six Galaxies' take-away dishes come close to the authentic taste of dhal makhani and a keema paratha. Her appetite is enormous, however, and she could eat a kilogramme of lamb biryani while complaining it isn't as good as her personal chef's.

Claptrap can bake. He hands out a lot of side-quests to fetch him ingredients, which he turns into delicious, albeit messily constructed pies, cakes, biscuits and loaves of bread. If you're nice to Claptrap, a surprisingly tall order for some people, you'll seldom find yourself without something in the cupboard.

Moze likes soup.

Ava is a veritable gourmet. As a homeless child, her favourite foods were "not rotten" and "provided willingly", treats which she didn't always manage to scavenge. When Maya adopted Ava, she made sure to feed her up, and Ava's palate broadened to the full extent of Athenian cuisine. Now she is an adventurous eater who loves trying new dishes, but will pretty much eat anything within two basic criteria: "not rotten" and "not too many olives".

The basics of cookery are also known to Ava. Although it's hardly her favourite activity- hardly, perhaps, the sort of activity she'd admit to enjoying- she can make pasta, okonomiyaki, salad, scrambled eggs and other simple dishes with aplomb. She used to send Maya anonymous Mothers' Day breakfasts, for which she'd refuse to admit any responsibility, because no way was she ever going to be cute. Food love stories, brought to you by the Crimson Raiders.

Lilith enjoys spicy food and is quite good at cooking. She isn't a fancy chef, but can be relied upon to make a lovely fried breakfast, tossed salad, or burger and chips.

FL4K doesn't eat, but they take great pains to secure good food for their pets. Meat-Thief loves fish and chips, Broodless likes a fruit salad, Mr Chew has a taste for Lancer tyres, and Ms Loader Bot partakes in only the finest Lithium Ion Batteries.

Salvador is quite the chef, a barbecue expert and master of Mexican-influenced-part-of-Pandora cuisine. He can be very particular about his ingredients; no, you can't use skag liver instead of bullymong chops, it'll ruin the flavour profile of the whole meal. And what do you MEAN ketchup's another kind of mole?!

Tannis has seven perennial favourite foods: boiled eggs, carrot cake, toast with peanut butter, bananas, rice balls, Salvador's famous bullymong pancita, and sausages. She used to love bacon, but gave it up for personal reasons.

Roland was always an accomplished sandwich artisan, with the ability to house delicious combinations of ingredients between two slices of bread. Sometimes he took it to strange excesses such as the pie sandwich (or Wigan kebab), the spaghetti carbonara sandwich (or Sloppy Giuseppe), and the full English breakfast sandwich (or Sandwich That Annoys Lilith Because It's Just Missing the Point).

[moxxis-bar]

Moxxi with a Shy (S/O) Headcanons

Minors + ageless blogs DNI. This is not smut, but my blog is 18+.

My first Tumblr post! I gotta start it off with Moxxi, of course! So here’s Moxxi with a shy (s/o). A very special thank you to my friend for beta reading this <3

Gender-neutral reader. “They” was used as the reader’s pronoun once. “Pretty” was used once.

Small spoiler for Borderlands 1. Small mentions of Borderlands 2 storyline.

Moxxi is super comfortable in your relationship from the start, and her flirty remarks and sweet words never seem to let up. One might think that it's just her being her normal self, and that’s partially true, but she also does it because she thinks you’re too cute when you’re flustered!

She spends a lot of time managing her various bars, so she worries that you might feel lonely while she’s working, but she does what she wants and takes a break from work to spend time with you every now and then.

Moxxi always welcomes it when you drop in to see her and pays a little extra attention to you since it might be a minute until she can see you again. If you’ve got a bit of free time in between whatever you need to do, you could always volunteer to help her out at the bar. 

“Well, sugar, I wouldn’t mind the extra pair of hands, and with a pretty face like yours working behind the counter, I’m bound to get some extra tips~”

She knows you’re not really one for dealing with the talking parts of her job, so she’s very insistent on you only doing the parts of the job that you feel comfortable with. She’ll teach you how to prepare the more popular drinks she serves while she manages the patrons. She’s always respectful of your limits and thanks you when you decide to call it for the day, promising to return the favor later with a wink.

Moxxi is very affectionate and she’ll use that to her advantage if you let her. Kisses from her are far from rare, but she’ll always cup your face and kiss your lips as a goodbye. She’s used to taking the initiative with kisses, but she’s always pleasantly surprised if you give her one.

“My, my, when did you get so bold?”

Moxxi wants you to be able to handle yourself in social situations, but in the event that you just can’t bring yourself to talk for some reason, she’ll talk for you if that’s what you want. She’s very much an “Excuse me, they asked for no pickles” type of girlfriend.

She thinks your shy nature is super sweet and gets protective over you if someone tries to take advantage of that. She HAS kicked someone’s ass over you and she WILL do it again. Handsome Jack would shit-talk you because the asshole knew you wouldn’t do anything about it and Moxxi was FUMING. She knew there was nothing she could do about it but bide her time until the Crimson Raiders were able to do something. She was still pissed about her underdome and this definitely wasn’t doing Jack any favors.

Honestly, this extends to her kids as well. It took Scooter a bit to warm up to you, but Ellie was content knowing that her mom was with someone who cared about her and treated her well. They weren’t too pleased with Jack’s sarcastic insults about you either, both telling the Crimson Raiders to run him over with a Technical or feed him to some skags.

Moxxi enjoys going out and will want to take you to different places for dates (even though there are only so many “nice” places you can go to on Pandora). She doesn’t mind occasionally having a night in every once in a while. Besides, she’s got plenty of ideas about what you can do while you’re alone together~

[hyperionshipping]

🥰😡💞 for mr borderlands tricks :)

HIIII sorry for being late to answering this

🥰: How would someone who loved you portray you?

THE TRUE Handsome Tricks shippers understand the complexities of these two. They're getting the dynamic down. Tricks isn't a helpless little uwu sub underneath Jack. He's a fully fledged adult man with underlying trauma and baggage.

They'd portray the day-to-day between these two perfectly while also having fun with it.

The true fans get the level of control Jack has while also knowing that Tricks has quite literally pulled a gun on Jack deathly calm. He WOULD have killed him then without hesitation. Yeah, he LOVES Jack but that relationship is not (and never was) "good" or "healthy.

😡: How would someone who hated you portray you?

GOD. Okay.

Handsome Tricks haters would fucking want this ship to SINK. They're blowing the boat up. People who hate it constantly mischaracterize both Tricks AND Jack.

They'd make Tricks too subby and compliant around Jack or absolutely turn up Tricks hatred towards Jack WAY too much. There's a balance and complexity to this that fans who hate the ship wouldn't bother to see. (Too much reading between the lines and knowing how rocky/dodgy relationships work)

Additionally people who hated us would consistently say the ship is glorifying abuse and bad relationships because Tricks is totally a changed man (he is not. In game scenes, dialogue, echo logs + more prove that he HAS mellowed down but he has not changed. It's integral to his story that he ISN'T changed. Because it's directly what allows Jack to gain such control)

💞: Aside from with your f/o, who else would you commonly be shipped with? Why?

Honestly? I'm not too sure.

I could see people shipping him with Tim as a rebound thing. Tricks (canonically) can tell the doppelgangers apart but I've toyed with them (Tim and him) having slightly more interactions.

I think people would like the idea of Tricks and him hooking up because it'd be a fun way to play with Tricks' insecurities and the fact that Tim truly can't escape Jack's shadows.

I think what would be popular with this ship is them running Hyperion. Like nothing happened. Neither feels GOOD about it and there's constant bickering.

Lots of fics written out where Tim is loudly yelling about Jack being DEAD. "He's GONE Tricks. Dead as roadkill. Skag food. Why can't you accept that? You weren't ever this dumb before."

"You sound just like him. How's the DNA injections going hmm? You're more and more like him everyday. Hey, when you die, I bet it'll be just. Like. Him. No one remembers Timothy Lawrence. You're just Jack's pet. Your leash is gonna hook on something and you'll choke to death. How ironic for Handsome Jack. Death by choking."

A relationship between these two is even WORSE than Tricks and Jack. I think some people would write it as Tim and Tricks overcoming their own traumas but like... again.. Tricks doesn't change and he doesn't get better with time.

I could also see one or two people shipping him with Rhys for obvious reasons. He's never done right within any ship with Rhys.

And I could see something with Vasquez. But it'd be a relationship purely out of blackmail. He's showing Tricks off like some prize to be like Jack. Tricks would think constantly about cutting his dick off. But he knows too much about The Demon and it's only a matter of time...

[pinkdinkydoon]

Bo.rderl.ands INSERT DUMP BELOW 🤠🌾🌇

I do a lot of talking about her on discord so here!!! WARNING. it's a lot.

1. Give a basic run-down of your s/i. What should we know about them right away? 💛🔆

Born and raised only NEAR opportunity, Law (Lici) Waller Marsh (she/he) is looking to aquire at job at Hyperion. She basically ""passes with flying colors"" as Jack puts it. (She was the only person who applied and he desperately needed an assistant) and so she instantly becomes a Head Hyperion Employee. ID card and all. 3 years passes, she quits and becomes a Crimson Raider.

2. What role does your s/i play in canon? Do they have a large role or do they just sort of exist within canon? 🧡📙

She has a decent role in canon. She's ""basically"" second in command in Hyperion and ECHO calls the main group a good handful of times to talk about missions and talk on Jack's behalf. Maya and Zer0 could immediately tell she mostly meant good. Every time she called she'd be like "Hiii Bandits! Law here! Jack's in a meeting right now but! My schedule here says... *pause to read* ... hm. *ahem* lici taunt those stupid vault hunters or your fired I will check your echolog... PFF. He never means that. Alright you guys ready?.... you guys suck balls. Insane skag balls. You're parents are dead and hate you and youre... all ugly and... uhm. I bet your guns are maliwan! Haha! Ok I did it. Check that off the list... good killing vault hunters."

When she joins the team I think she plays a big role in the morality of who they let join, and her previous affiliations. Etc etc.

3. In canon, was your f/o the first person your s/i met? Or did your s/i encounter someone else first? 💫🪐

Yes Jack is the first major character she meets. Regretfully. The two are very quick to get close since jack is very needy CEO. She's hired the day of her interview and he immediately gets her a house in Opportunity so that she's close by. She's adapts to his habits quick. Such as sleeping in his office. What he orders on specfic days, specific moods, specific times. Jack noticed compared to all his other assistants who attempted to go with his flow... she immediately started categorizing and writing and filing her personal mannerisms and memorizing them so she wouldn't get fucking killed. And with that also he adapts with her and she adapts with him. He does small things like slower his pace in walking, starts leaving notes instead of relying on her 100%, gifts in her office. She definitely becomes more violent and normal with killing along with her behavior to other people.

4. Excluding your f/o, does your s/i get along well with anyone else in canon? Is there anyone they don’t like? Is there someone that doesn’t like them? 🐥🏵

Yes. Claptrap for one. A big thing is when they meet they get along instantly and he's part of why she'd able to join the raiders a lot quicker than other people. They bone ONCE, and it automatically gets to his head and every time he talks to anyone abt her. He'll bring it up, and then be normal and be like "yeah we're close friends! She's my FAVORITE MINION!"

Please imagine him talking to lilith about her and she's like "I don't really trust her wi-" "Yeah we boned what about it. But yeah lilith I THINK you should learn to be more accepting"

Another person she gets along well with is Mordecai. When she explains why she quit he's like "I like you" and she's like "I'm a peice of shit." "Idc" the two of them bond a lot of drinks... like apple juice n whiskey, whatevea. They also both like walking! Just normal walking around and it's just. Simply normal.

5. What’s that one thing that your s/i is always associated with? Even if some people aren’t very familiar with them, what’s that one thing your s/i is known for? 🌅🌟

The color yellow. Forever. She is forever the hyperion lady. Think of the statue of liberty for America. She's like that. With how much she did and how much jack advertised himself and her as like the future of pandora.

(I like to think Rhys owns hyperion and atlas. My version says so) And even then she's made such an impact of like. Office work style. Like even entering the office again for the first time since Jack's death they're like "HOLY SHIT THATS LAW." and Rhys is like "damn they barely remember MY name"

Even when she takes rhe yellow out of her outfit after jacks death she's just. Forever stuck with it. Personally Designed gifts are always in yellow. New gun from Marcus for a birthday gift? It's yellow. Plate at dinner with the gang? Yellow plastic. Contact in people's echos? Law 🟨

6. How would your f/o describe your s/i? 🎭🔔

"Law? Shit forgot that was her legal name. Lici, lici, lici. Hm. She's my girl! Shes aaaaa... hardworker. Sometimes she does too much, sometimes she doesn't DO ENOUGH. She needs to find a damn middle ground it's been 3 years- oh! She makes the BEST macadamia nut cookies on pandora, you will have an orgasm. She's ruthless! She funny- not as much as me but she makes me laugh. Hm? .... no we are NOT dating. She's like uhh. My work wife! She does the cooking, the cleaning, the organizing. I make the money. You get it. Hm. She's. She's something. I keep her around cause of it all."

7. Is there anything your s/i is afraid of? Is your s/i usually brave or a coward?✨️🎖

Normally a very straightforward and "brave" mindset. She's very. GET IT DONE NOW RATHER THAN LATER. But a thing she's scared of is absolutely the Warrior, Sirens in general. Not like terrified, but seeing what they do. And knowing lilith doesn't like her and how jack described Angel always keeps her on an edge around them. If Maya were to move wrong she'd take so many steps back. To avoid any of the tales she had be told. Lilith not liking her and her not liking lilith is something that always keeps her on edge too. Any conversation she's basically on the verge of bolting and Roland can absolutely tell.

8. If someone wanted to get closer to your s/i, what would they have to do to attract them? ⚠️🟡

Be named handsome jack....? I don't know. Part of what makes her even think about getting it on with claptrap is his goofiness and his ability to make her laugh. Jack does make her laugh a lot too, but he's also an insane douchebag. It's just a draw of luck. Claptrap got what Jack didn't.

9. What’s your s/i’s ideal date?📔🪙

"Please God I don't want to kill something I just wanna seem like a good person for at least an hour."

"Sweetheart this is pandora."

10. What’s something about your s/i that someone wouldn’t expect from them? 🔅🔱

"You know what handsome Jack's house looks like?"

"It's not a big deal. And we never did anything I just. Slept there."

"No you don't get it. He has a house where he takes ladies and an ACTUAL place."

"Yeah *I know that.* I'm talking about his actual place."

"We don't know where that is."

"................"

"Law te-"

"OH WHATS THAT IS- IS ZER0 CALLING ME?? I HAVE TO GO."

"Zer0 doesn't ta-"

Jack jokes aside. Uhm. Baking is one. For sure. Master baker baby, when she's not killing or organizing shit to lords end. Ask jack he will ramble about her sweets for hours.

11. Would your s/i consider themselves a bad person/evil? Would other characters in canon consider them a bad person/evil? 🪸🌻

Vast majority would call her bad/evil. Jack has the whole good guys mindset he integrated into her and when she realized what she was doing was bad she was like. Ohhhh goddd. And she stayed in that lane for a very long time. I think BL3 is where she's like. Finally accepted as some kinda good guy of sorts although other people would say other wise, which goes back to her impact on pandora w jack. What let's her become good is the Crimson Raiders watching her- allow jack to die. She never made the effort to revive him, but she did weep. But all that mattered is that she let him die. So after that lilith was like "ok she's good. Im leavin" while Maya was like "??? AuGh- shes?? Sobbing can we??" "Nah leave her. She needs to work out her emotions."

12. Is your s/i honest? Is there anything they’ve lied about to other characters in canon? ☀️🫙

She would never lie to jack. She'd withhold information but he'd fine out eventually. One time she lied to him was his AI version of himself. And that was when he asked. "Did you EVER at least touch the vault key. Did you ever consider coming back." And yes she did consider many many times and she just goes. "No. I knew what was right."

Ans to the vault key. A lie to both jack and lilith, she held it once. Despite just abt everyone saying she should never be able to be near it or hold it or anything. She did. And she never told anyone and just thought about the consequences.

13. In a scenario where your s/i never meant your f/o, what would they be doing now? Would much change about them? 🪔☢️

She'd be dead. In a world where she doesn't get the job she attempted to become some kinda vault hunter and would fucking DIE cause she has 0 experience and is NOT that skilled with weapons or pandora as a whole. She is fucked over. Immediately.

Extra Stuff

Law dies inside the handsome jackpot.

I think. Other than the vault hunters there and Tim, I'm dragging Rhys and mordecai into it. She goes FOR Tim n Mox, and then is like "you bozos are coming with me." And mordecai is like "nooooo pleaseee I've been trying to relax this whole time you can't make me do something now." And Rhys is like "anything for ex-hyperion /sarcastic"

So by extension AI jack goes and like yesss time with my gal <- can't even talk to her unless she has the eye contact in. She did not.

And I think she gets 3/4th through it. Before dying to something absolutely stupid. And dying she's like. "Wow. I'm dying in the Handsome Jackpot. A thing I helped fund, build, went too. And now I'm dying in it."

And mordecai is like "NOOO GOD DAMN IT!!! First mission I go on in a long time and law is dying " and Rhys is like "awe. I've heard. A lot of bad things abt her BUT ALSO GOOD THINGS. So this is a lil sad (didn't know her well)"

Ans then ai jack is like "RHYSIE DO SOMETHING????" "erhm I cant." "YES, YOU CAN REVIVE HER, you can HEAL her." "We are way too late for that she's got less than a thirty seconds of life left"

When the mission is over they don't. Take her body at all. It just stays there.

Forever stuck in this "shadow", stuck in this shade of yellow, stuck with a legacy. Stuck as Handsome Jack's Assistant, even as a Crimson Raider. She'll die on that hill, and that hill was hyperion.

Relationships with Characters 🦗🌞

Claptrap: Besties first and foremost. Close in a sense that it started off as a way to piss off jack to, this GUY IS HILARIOUS. I love him so much. fucked ONCE, never again.

Mordecai: Quick to bond over blood wing, realize they have a lot in common. They like just talking in general too. Their rooms are near each other.

Brick: "mordecai likes you, you're good in my book" "👍 thank fuckin god"

Lilith: mutual dislike, but a mutual goal. Although the goal for Law was NOT to kill Jack and just put him out a power. Lilith always has to make it clear that HE NEEDS TO DIE. they clash a lot.

Roland: "you seem terrified of me" "I am." "You don't need to be" they get along fairly well. She's just as devastated his death as she is with angels. Similar closeness.

Tina: helped design her raidefs outfit. Shocker. "YOURE A SERIOUS, and I mean SERIOUS lady-man you gotta luh-luh-let LOOOSE! Show SOME SKIN!!!! CHOP UP! THE HYPERION BUTTON UP!!" "not my button up-" "AGHHHH THE BUTTON UP!!!

Jack: codependent in a kind of way. Jack adores how she works and also didn't realize he was so used to her as a person. That they litteraly still stay in contact even when she switches sides. It's jarring for them both to comprehend. Clearly in love, nothing ever comes of it in their canon. Only a final kiss for Jack's death and then a final kiss from his ai version for her death.

Rhys: "I thought you were a myth hyperion made up to motivate workers to possibly work alongside jack" "No I. I'm very much real. And NOT hyperion anymore." After TFBL and Rhys detachment from the old hyperion. he has this. Odd distaste for. He sees a lot of Jack in her and they both have that witty banter him and Jack had when the AI was more active.

Torgue: "I'm here for buisness reasons" "OK BUT ITD BE COOL IF YOU TESTED SOME OF MY NEW PRODUCTS OUT!!!!!!!!!" ".....ok" and then Jack or lilith are like "why were you there for so long."

Maya: previously mentioned fear of Sirens still there for law but Maya is definitely what makes her more comfortable with them. They get along decently well and Maya just has like. A lot of hope for Law and Law has this admiration for Maya. Mutual appreciation

Zer0: they like building things together. Guns, crafts, etc. But Law also likes finding new emolji faces that they can upload to their face somehow. It's a challenge in a way.

Axton: law sees a little bit of jack in him. And it intimidates her a lil bit seeing that in anyone BUT jack. But axton reluctantly helps her secretly get hyperion/jack posters for her room in sanctuary so she can feel more comfortable. And she's like "thankkkk youuuu" "when you betray us I get the first shot"

Krieg: "MAYAS SO COOL!" "YEAH SHE IS" that's it.

Salvador: steals her guns cause she's hyperion. Has to put them in a locked up thing and like. Do many extra precautions.

Hammerlock: I hate British people /J. Hammerlocke cannot get a single word in without like "shut up you're british" "YOU ARE EX-HYPERION!!!!!!"

Gaige: they have a secret handshake, let it be known

More stuff on Law and Jacks death

Ok that's it. There MIGHT be more. 🪐💫😭

[timothylawrence]

jathena post-wedding/wedding reception at the purple skag……….. really just them being sappy n stuff with each other bc they deserve happiness <33

HI BESTIE!!! i love them i am so freaking excited for this prompt omg... i needed me some sofd space girls... thank you for this i hope you enjoy :DD!!

There were a lot of words Athena would use to describe herself. She’s pretty cold blooded when need be, strong, powerful, and smarter than most. She can carry her weapons well and use them even better. 

She’s a vault hunter. She’s someone’s worst nightmare. 

“Babe, you haven’t finished your beer.” 

She’s married. 

Athena looks over from her glass, smiling instinctively at the sight of her lover, her wife. Janey’s legs are aimed towards her, one palm wrapped around her own glass and the other on Athena’s thigh. 

It’s not the most romantic setting, especially not after the evening they’ve had, but it’s Pandoran and it’s pretty much home. A quiet bar to give the pair a moment to breathe after the chaotic, fun day they've had.

“It’s not bad,” Athena murmurs, looking down at her glass before locking back onto her wife’s eyes. “But I don’t want to miss our flight.” 

“Elpis can wait,” Janey giggles, giving her a wink before taking another sip. Her gaze drops to the sole other conscious occupant in the bar, standing behind the divider and wiping down a few glasses. He's distracted, or bored, Janey doesn't really care.

“That was fun,” Athena murmurs, comfortable in the silence and solitary nature of the bar. Her eyes are locked onto the band she wears on her finger, her smile small but genuine.

“You dance better than ya think you do,” Janey replies, voice hitching with a quiet laugh. 

“I tripped.” 

“No one noticed,” Janey shoots back instantly, scooting her metal stool closer to Athena’s, squeezing her thigh gently. 

Their rings are beautiful, a speckle of eridium embroidered into the gold. It’s a pair they’d chosen together, hand in hand in a small shop in a quiet corner of Hollow Point.  

Athena was married. The music still rings loud in her head. Her limbs tremble with residual adrenaline.

The wedding was loud and big, people from all corners of the planet coming to celebrate. People Athena hadn’t really expected to. But they showed up, and for a moment, life on Pandora was good. 

Except, since living with Janey, Athena can count a good amount of times where life in fact was good. Where she woke up and didn’t feel the heavy hands of ghosts on her shoulders or the churning weight of her past mistakes in her stomach. 

Where she was happy. 

And it was always with Janey. 

She looks over, Janey's eyes drifting over the quiet bar, her fingers no longer wrapped around her glass as she draws a pattern down onto the marble with her pointer finger.

She’s lost in the moment. Athena’s lost in her love for her.

She leans forward, hand wrapping around the far side of her cheek and pulling her closer. She presses her lips against Janey’s soft and rushed, a rush of love desperate to make itself known. 

Their kiss is short, but the love they share is never ending.

Athena pulls back first. Public displays of affection weren’t Athena’s thing, but she makes a pass for this once. 

Janey’s cheeks are a beautiful tint of rose. It makes Athena’s heart soar.

“C’mon,” She whispers, squeezing her hand. “We can’t be late to our own honeymoon.” 

Janey smiles a lopsided, genuine smile. Athena swears it’s brighter than any star.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself-Story (18+)

⚠ CW: addiction, drugs  ⚠  

So.... Irena was there. I found it totally strange that his ex always showed up here. Already during our last confrontation with her, in that one club, I noticed how Daniel’s struggling to say something against her or just can’t prevail against Irena. But I never really complained, because if I remember the fights with Philip.....I always had a hard time defending myself. And I think Irena’s just like P.. They are both very assertive & decisive. And Daniel is more like me, quiet & reserved. I thought maybe he felt as pressured by her, as I did with Philip? But this was not quite true. 

Before interfering in their intimate conversation, I overheard Daniel and Irena a bit.🤢

Daniel: Can you please just sit down? Stop sniffing around and don’t touch her things, or mine!

Irena: A lot has changed here! Her stuff’s all over the place! Why doesn't that bother you?

Daniel: Idk what you mean? And her things are lying around here because she lives here! With me! 

Irena: You’re not well, I realize that immediately!... How can you let this happen? Your eyes look so tired, Dan. You look like a walking corpse. I feel pain in my heart for you. 😟 You know, I wanna stay with you to help you.

Daniel: I don’t need your help! What are you even doing here? I was pretty busy! 🤨 You interrupted us when you rang. 😠

Irena: Why are you so testy? I just want to talk to you and be there for you.

Daniel: Why? I don’t need you! And you can’t give me what I need.

Irena: Tell me what you need!

Daniel: Seriously? 😄 ... I need that damn skag to work! You have some with you?🤨... Probably not, so you can’t give me what I need. 🤷‍♂️

Irena: You’ll never get that from me!!... But I can give you what you deserve. Love and a life without pain. Don’t you want to finally have your peace from all this fucking mess and live a normal, happy life? And you know yourself, only I can do this for you!

Daniel: I-....Idk what you want? 🤷‍♂️ What’s wrong with you? Are you sick or something? Are you ok? Honestly now!

Irena: Don’t you get it, Daniel? I love you! I want us to have what we once had. We were so happy and I miss you! 😟

Daniel: But we broke up 8 months ago and our lives went on, you were happy without me, what’s gotten into you? 🤨

Irena: That was a big mistake! 🤦‍♀️ I should never have left you! I just left you here alone with all the crap you did. And for a while it felt liberating and good, to be away from all that shit, but being away from you felt wrong! When I saw you with her on your B-day.....that hurt me so much!

Daniel: Yeah. 😕 I felt the same that day. I mean, I noticed you were jealous and you weren’t.....well or Idk?....I don’t want to hurt you again, but I can’t just leave her to be with you.

Irena: Why not? You want the same as me! We can do it! I’m going to fix you.

Daniel: I didn’t see that coming!.. I-...I can’t just change everything overnight. 😦

Irena: Please, let me back to you! 😭 I need you and you me!

Daniel: Calm down first! 😕.....I’m so sorry. 😔

Daniel (to me): We shouldn’t have opened the door. 🙁

Me: Why? 😟 Because you weren’t done with what we both just did, before you go back to her? 😧

Daniel: No! 😦 I don’t want it to end with us.

Me: But you can’t help it because you love her? 😢

Daniel: I just don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. 🤦‍♂️

Me: But you hurt me! I heard everything! You don’t want me! 😞

Daniel: I didn’t say that a single time!.....Give me a moment, please, and we’ll sort this out.

Irena: Daniel? Stay with me! She wants to leave!

Me: I’m about to puke! 😨 A few minutes ago you loved me and now everything is broken. 😭

Irena: Ugh, you can quit now. 🤨 Just go home to your parents.

Me: Fuck you! 😠 You go to Dominick and let him comfort you again.

Irena: Oh, he told you about this! 🤨... Now listen to me you crazy druggy! Let me tell you something about Daniel! Do you know what kind of fight that was for me with him? Daniel was never home! He was constantly off, at some drug parties or clubs, while I was busting my ass for him. I had 3 fucking jobs! He spent all our money on drugs. I came home, tired, every day and just wanted to sleep to come to rest. Because I knew, if Daniel’s not at home until 10 pm, he will call me in the middle of the night, to pick him up from somewhere. He was so drugged, that he couldn’t drive his car anymore. He used to hang out somewhere in a club, totally high & half dead and around him, or on top of him, were some doped up bitches! 😠 I had to drag all those women off him first, so I could get to him! Of course, he didn’t notice any of this, which made it all the more difficult for me to talk to him about it. He didn’t even know, what he did or with whom! You know? And that was just a small part of his.... best ofs. 🤨 And now tell me, if you, who is exactly like him, will manage this?...You’ll both end up dead in a gutter.

Me (to Daniel): Is that true? 😦 You really slept with all those women you didn’t know? 😟

Daniel: I-...Ikd what I really did or why they were around me?? 😟 But I don’t think I had sex with all these women in.... a club.🤨... But you’re not like that, and neither am I. Not anymore!

Irena: Daniel doesn’t really love you, no matter what he said or promised you, he can’t keep it. I’ve known him for three years, he’s just having some fun with you. He’s gonna let you down. You can’t rely on him. 🤷‍♀️

Me: Why are you here, if he was such a burden to you? 🤨

Irena: I love him! I can't sit by and watch you kill him. You two even got Dominick hooked. 😠

Daniel: Dominick stole our drugs and did this shit all by himself! But I still tried to talk him out of it. Why don’t you go and take care of him? 🤷‍♂️

Me (to D.): Are you jealous of them? You just lied to me! The truth is, you want her and not me! 😩 😭... ..You asshole, you made me hurt Philip! When he needed me the most. 🤦‍♀️

Daniel: He has a baby with another! What does that have to do with me? And I didn’t lie to you! I swear!

Me: You can’t even tell her to leave! What are you waiting for? If you don’t want her anymore, then finally kick her out and tell her. Or I’ll leave! Rn!

Daniel: No, please don’t leave! You always want to run away!...I want to be with you! Not with-.....with her. 😕

Irena: Fuck you both!..... And you Daniel, you lie to yourself! Ugh, I’m off here!

Daniel (to me): I can explain everything to you.

Me: Stay away from me! You didn’t tell her to fuck off! 😞

Daniel: Why? She left by herself! It wasn’t necessary to tell her.

Me: But for me! For me it was necassary! I wanted to see and hear how you tell her that she should never come here again, because you love me and not her!

I didn’t want to see Daniel for a few hours and hid in the bedroom. All this seemed like a dejavu to me. Philip & this Natasha...😠  And speaking of Philip, I’m about to see him. I went to Sandra and he was there. I thought P. and S. had something going on? But Sandra just asked Philip for help. It was about the baby bed. Anyway, I’m gonna have a really big fight with Philip. I wanted him and Sandra to lend me money so I could buy drugs. 😬 🤦‍♀️ 

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[tediore-reload]

Fl4k food headcanons

At some point they get a mod that let's them eat. It's located on their chest and looks AND works exactly like a DVD disc tray.

If they press on it it pops out and they can put food in and close it, it digistructs away and they can taste it.

It can't fit large amounts of food at once and they need to cut up some foods to make it fit.

They've never experienced food or eating before, and their palate is 'unrefined' as a result. They're also very picky and won't eat a lot of foods in general.

Their favorite foods are things like fries, burgers, chicken nuggets, and anything made of meat. They won't eat most vegetables because they're, in their words, a predator. They are annoyed when the others point out fries are made of vegetables. They also won't eat cheese or other aged goods because it's "carrion food".

Despite their insistence that meat is better, they have a soft spot for sweets.

They don't like bitter foods or drinks, especially after Zane tricked them into drinking black coffee with the promise of it being sweet. Amara gave them some hot chocolate and they enjoyed that, however.

They at some point pick up a bad habit of 'trying' their pets food to make sure it's up to their standards. Generally this involves putting Jabber and Skag food they got from the pet store in their 'mouth' and eating it. They don't like it and judge their pets for enjoying it afterwards.

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

do you think brick ever tells wainwright abt the whole zombie and human experimentation thing. or does he just go "oh wow jakobs like the corporation that attempted to create human/skag hybrids on pandora. this guy seems way too nice to ever do those warcrimes himself so i'm guessing he doesn't know. i will pretend i know nothing because he's been going through a lot recently already"

[canadian-riddler]

I'm the LaaC anon I saw the tags on the reblog I'm happy with spoilers, they never really took away from my enjoyment of anything haha

alright then

it's super long so set some time aside lol

I'm putting this in the tags so if anyone there cares, this contains massive spoilers for my fic Love as a Construct but who cares at this point lol

where we left off, Claptrap, Carrie, and Alyx return to Aperture and Claptrap disappears. they brought Hammerlock back with them and GLaDOS is pissed that she has to deal with this uninvited guest while Claptrap does who knows what. turns out Claptrap loaded the gun she gave him with real bullets and accidentally killed a skag that was stalking them while everyone else was sleeping and Hammerlock showed up and took the trip over because Claptrap had a hard time handling it.

Claptrap and Wheatley catch up and end up making friendship bracelets. they make one for GLaDOS too and she acts like it's dumb af but then later they see that she snaked it around one of her wires and Claptrap's like why she do this and Wheatley's like hell if I know and they decide to be co-husbands. they know they're not allowed to call GLaDOS their wife but them being co-husbands will piss her off and they think this is very funny

a while after that, Hammerlock comes down to ask for Claptrap's help. Claptrap and GLaDOS get in a huge fight over Claptrap putting himself out for people who treat him like garbage. she says she's trying to help him and he says he doesn't need her help and he ends up saying something bad and Wheatley walks him to the transporter. Claptrap asks Wheatley to tell her he's sorry and leaves. Wheatley is pissed for Claptrap's sake and isn't going to, but she was watching on the cameras and tells him she already knows.

then the story shifts a little into GLaDOS setting the facility up as its own country, basically. GLaDOS calls Carrie into her chamber and tells her she has a job for her, and Carrie, who has been waiting for this forever, asks her to repeat that. GLaDOS is like ... oh but recovers and gives her the job of building a silicon refinery (I think) but when GLaDOS asks the core she's working with how she's doing the news isn't good. the core is hesitant to criticise the boss's daughter but GLaDOS is cool about it and tells them to let her build it wrong and see what happens when you don't take advantage of other peoples' expertise. Carrie is a little embarrassed about this but she understands the point

GLaDOS has a lot of talks with Gordon because he's genuinely very smart and there aren't a lot of humans around on his level. they talk about Gordon not being a big people person and the responsibility he has to his unruly sons and she convinces him to work on that. she thinks about how Gordon and Chell are happier when they're away from their kids and each other and realises perhaps Wheatley might be happier when he's away from her, given what a hassle she is, but he says he's never happy to be away from her and misses her when he is.

they then make contact with someone they never expected to hear from: Caroline's mother, Madeline. one of Caroline's sisters found out they were looking for her and she goes to see GLaDOS, who she was led to believe by Caroline was a human girl. Madeline disparages her and Caroline with regards to them not being real parents/family and Carrie defends GLaDOS and talks about how although she's not perfect she does know she's always trying.

Chell then returns to Aperture and she's brought GLaDOS a present: a photo album with pictures of all the places she's been while she was gone. she explains she was out of contact because she gave the ECHO to an isolated group of people up in Canada who needed it more than her. she then says she's leaving again and GLaDOS gets upset and Chell explains going out there and helping the remains of humanity get into contact with each other is what she needs to do. she leaves and GLaDOS looks at the pictures and sees the CN Tower still standing. she remembers that its primary purpose was as a wide-range broadcasting antenna and calls Chell back and asks her for a favour: to take Atlas there and have him turn it on so GLaDOS can use it to help restore some measure of communication. Atlas does not want to go because he's afraid, especially since P-body can't come, but GLaDOS tells him he has to do it because P-body isn't good at that kind of thing. He agrees to go and P-body gets jealous mostly because she wants to go on a trip too. GLaDOS says she can go on a trip with Chell when Atlas comes back (because the car she has can't hold all three of them) and P-body is satisfied.

there is an incident where a core accidentally kills a human and the human's friend comes in and demands punishment. the core explains the human was threatening it and it reacted unintentionally and GLaDOS says okay that's that. the human is furious and is like 'there are LAWS' and GLaDOS is like 'my facility, my laws' and implies to the core that if it happens again, it happens.

there is then a construction incident where a human is impaled and needs immediate surgery, but the only one who can handle anything like this is of course GLaDOS. she's about to do it when she pauses and then calls in a core who's interested in this kind of stuff to do it instead. it says it doesn't know how and she's like I'll talk you through it and it goes fine. she then tells the core 'congrats, you're a human doctor now' and sends them on their way.

the humans find out she has a greenhouse and get pissy that she isn't sharing. some kids hear she has apples and ask her nicely for some and she says she'll give them some in trade for something else. they obviously don't have anything she wants so she trades them for stuff like reading a certain amount of pages or drawing her a picture and stuff like that. eventually the adults catch on that she will do trades of stuff like electricity if they do work for her, but they have to be vetted and they're only allowed in the facility during certain hours. one girl gets special permission to work in the greenhouse, contingent on her not stealing, but she immediately starts stealing and GLaDOS tells Carrie about it. Carrie talks to the girl and finds out her mom was forcing her to do it and GLaDOS is like so? and Carrie is like 'don't you know how hard it is to not do what your mom wants?' and GLaDOS is like no? but the girl is given special permission to live in the facility because it may be that worse things are going on for her out there

Atlas comes back and he has pictures for GLaDOS too. He actually climbed up to the top of the Tower to get some that Chell wouldn't have been able to and she's very happy (even if Toronto has been annihilated)

Claptrap then returns! Wheatley is so shocked to see him again that he starts crying and Claptrap is like man you are really not in touch with your feelings. Claptrap asks him if he's smashed GLaDOS while he was gone and he's like no and Claptrap's like what's wrong with you. Claptrap gives GLaDOS GENIVIV and GLaDOS gives her to Carrie to serve as the AI in the other facility

he tells GLaDOS about Veronica and GLaDOS is offended for him about her being shitty. GLaDOS mentions she promised to make the kids a cake with the stuff they were helping grow in the greenhouse and Claptrap's like let me do it, I've watched every cooking show ever made. so he makes a delicious cake and GLaDOS gives him a minor update which gives him the ability to taste and he's so surprised he throws his piece of the cake on the floor. he also immediately goes outside and eats dirt.

Veronica changes her mind about Claptrap when she finds out he has a girlfriend already because this makes him a challenge and he goes to see her but he discovers he's actually not interested in her. he goes back to Aperture to tell GLaDOS about it and finds out she's not super attracted to him anymore because he looks like shit. she shows him what he looks like and he asks if it's a joke but she's like no. you're falling apart. and he gets upset and she's like take it easy I'll take care of this and she fixes him up. GLaDOS and Wheatley then make him a pink scarf and give it to him while he's drunk and he has sex with GLaDOS while wearing it which she finds very funny

he has some troubles with Veronica treating him badly and GLaDOS asks to meet her. Veronica tries to 'we're strong women who don't need no man' on her but GLaDOS is like you're stupid, Claptrap is great and you're awful and Claptrap breaks up with Veronica which pisses her off.

Claptrap is invited to Hammerlock's wedding and is absolutely delighted he got invited to something. GLaDOS asks if he has a wedding present and he's like wedding present? and she's like you're stupid and gives him two Aperture guns for them.

While he's gone Carrie talks about building a daughter because she's sure she can do it without a partner and GLaDOS is like oh do you want help and Carrie is like no I actually already did it. GLaDOS is shocked (Wheatley and Claptrap already knew but they managed to keep it a secret) and they turn her on. her name is Gladys obviously and GLaDOS is like why that name is so bad. Wheatley always refers to her as 'little Gladys' so as to keep clear which one he's talking about. unfortunately, Gladys has a lot of problems and Carrie has no idea how to deal with them alongside the jobs she has. she brings her to GLaDOS and leaves her to see if there's anything she can do and the first one Gladys actually talks to is Wheatley. turns out she's terrified of GLaDOS because of her size and Wheatley says she's that size so she can protect everyone. Gladys is actually pretty chatty, if quiet, after this, and GLaDOS tells her Gladys's problems stem from having a bunch of settings up way too high so she is basically having constant sensory overload and the easiest way for her to deal with it is to be quiet and still. Carrie asks why she didn't fix it and GLaDOS says she doesn't think Gladys wants to be fixed. Carrie is frustrated that Gladys will interact with Wheatley and GLaDOS but not her and GLaDOS says that's part of why she doesn't.

Claptrap asks to see GLaDOS privately and Wheatley isn't told what their conversation is about. He finds out that GLaDOS is beginning to break down and asks Claptrap why he doesn't just go to Pandora and pick her up some new parts and he's like it doesn't work like that. Pandora doesn't have a bunch of parts for a custom bot like that and even if it did, there's no guarantee they would be compatible with her. he asks why Claptrap doesn't come to see her anymore and he doesn't give him a straight answer. they go to Pandora to talk to Hammerlock about it and Wheatley is a jerk about Claptrap not going to see her. Hammerlock gives Claptrap a rare flower to give her that he was never quite able to reproduce en masse and he has Wheatley give it to her. GLaDOS has him give Claptrap an origami flower in return and he's pissy about being the messenger but he does it.

Carrie regularly hands off Gladys for them to watch, which is the highlight of their day pretty much. GLaDOS sings her to sleep every day and Gladys turns out to be a good singer herself, if very quiet. Carrie asks GLaDOS for help with some complex task, which GLaDOS struggles with and ultimately fails at, and they tell her GLaDOS breaking down. she argues that it's not true, that GLaDOS wouldn't let that happen, and GLaDOS tells her it is true and she's disappointed in Carrie for not believing her and tells her to go away. she tells Wheatley she shouldn't have said that but she is disappointed.

GLaDOS starts attempting to offload as many of her tasks as possible but there are still a great deal of them she has to do because they depend on her physically being there. she starts to get very tired as her software attempts to force her to sleep so it can do cleanup, but there's just too much for it to deal with and it can't fix the hardware faults anyway so it always fails. Gladys notices what's happening but she isn't too sad about it. Atlas and P-body are told and hang out with her a little and then her chassis gets stuck and she has to have them fix it. she's in debilitating pain and Wheatley gets pissed off at Carrie for not doing anything and also not going to see her or talk to her, which she hasn't been doing. Carrie gets upset but fixes the problem, which was that she tried to turn GLaDOS's pain off entirely but because GLaDOS is such a mess of spaghetti code she just turned it up all the way by mistake. GLaDOS tells him to leave Carrie alone, that she understands what Carrie is doing and isn't happy about it but she understands, and Wheatley finds out that Carrie sends GLaDOS a folder of all the drawings she's done at the end of the month.

GLaDOS does her best to hide her breakdown but eventually word gets out. instead of the scramble to take advantage of this that she expected, a group of cores come in and ask how they can help. she's able to offload a good portion of her remaining tasks to them and this helps. they have Gladys come over for a sleepover because she likes space and her dream is to go to the moon and they open the ceiling so she can look outside. Gladys talks about going to the moon and GLaDOS coming with her and GLaDOS says she can't do that but she can tell her all about it when she comes back. GLaDOS can no longer lift herself high enough to look out of the ceiling so Wheatley has her look out of his optic, which is cleaner and is working better anyway. they start privately flirting and Gladys asks them if they're even paying attention and they're like oh yeah of course.

GLaDOS mentions that she misses Claptrap. Wheatley asks him to go and see her but he says he can't and Wheatley gets mad and Claptrap reveals he still talks to her but he can't go to see her because he can't do it without touching her and touching her is just going to make him sad because he can feel her breaking down and she doesn't need to deal with that. Wheatley's like well why didn't you just say so and Claptrap's like I didn't want you to see me differently like you do Carrie. and Wheatley realises he was putting himself on a pedestal a bit because he is okay to be around her even when she's sick when other people aren't. he tells Claptrap there's one thing GLaDOS never got to see that she always wanted to and he wants to go to Pandora to get some video of snow for her. Claptrap's like well what kind? and Wheatley's like idk and they go to get some footage of snow but they get distracted and just start goofing around. Wheatley realises he messed up but gives it to her anyway and she starts watching it but asks him to leave. she tells him later it was exactly what she wanted but she needed to be by herself to cry a little. he says that would have been okay but she says it was an alone cry.

she continues to degenerate. Wheatley ends up in one of her dreams just like way back when and discovers Caroline has been there the whole time. GLaDOS thinks she's just dreaming her but Caroline tells Wheatley no, she couldn't leave without killing GLaDOS so she just retreated. she came back a little to talk to GLaDOS because she's scared of dying a little bit but they've talked about it and she's okay now. Wheatley tells her about what's been going on since she left.

GLaDOS gets to the point where she barely exists. she's hanging on for Wheatley's sake but she doesn't have a lot left in her. Wheatley cries and begs her not to leave him and then tells her to hold on and leaves the room. she does and Wheatley comes back with Claptrap who holds her and sings Still Alive (from Mirror's Edge) to her.

the facility still needs someone to act as Central Core and Carrie is unable to take over, so it falls to Wheatley. not only does he have to take over her software tasks, he's the de facto leader and people are coming to him to make decisions. Claptrap tells him he needs to go back to Pandora and think and Wheatley is upset but he can't stop him. he's also often watching Gladys because Carrie can't handle her crying for her grandma and he eventually blows up on Carrie for forcing her job on him as though he doesn't miss GLaDOS too. this is a wakeup call for her and she takes over. Wheatley's primary job now is watching Gladys which he's fine with. Claptrap comes back but their relationship is sort of stalled because neither of them know what to do now. they're still bffs but GLaDOS was a big part of them.

Carrie grows well into her role as the Central Core and tells Wheatley she's been trying to sort through GLaDOS's files, a lot of which contain shortcuts for tasks that GLaDOS just had too much pride to use. she finds a few things that GLaDOS left for them, one of which is a bunch of songs GLaDOS sang for Gladys. Carrie asks if she wants to listen to one because she cries for GLaDOS to sing to her, but she says not right now. Carrie finds shy of a million test chambers GLaDOS designed and never used which included elements she never built and she decides to hold Olympics with them. there are also a lot of recordings of GLaDOS giving Carrie advice geared for many different situations and Carrie feels as though she doesn't deserve them, given she wasn't as there for her mom as she should have been which she has a lot of guilt over, and Wheatley tells her GLaDOS understood and not to do that to herself.

Wheatley is given his employee file that they got in a fight over and he starts reading it just to be close to her again. the first chunk of it is awful but the closer he gets to the end, the more she stops criticising him and starts instead to list off all the things he did that made her happy. the very last second before she died she just put 'thank you' and he cries.

Carrie is doing better at multitasking being Central Core and being a mom so Wheatley kind of has nothing to do. he and Claptrap are sitting on Claptrap's couch in silence. Claptrap takes out the origami flower and unfolds it to find that on the inside GLaDOS drew a picture of them hugging that says 'for whenever you need one' and he carefully folds it back up again and offers it to Wheatley, who says no, he needs it more. Claptrap's like this isn't us. she wouldn't want this for us. we should go do something stupid. so they go to Pandora and do a whole lot of stupid stuff. when they come back Wheatley starts to have memory problems and Claptrap isn't sure what to do about it. he tells Claptrap it's okay if he just takes him back to Carrie and that's it because he knows Claptrap got messed up from holding GLaDOS while she died but Claptrap says no. he asks if Claptrap will be able to tell when he's going to die and he says yes. he tells him what he wants him to do when the time comes because he'll forget if he doesn't do it now. every time Wheatley shuts down his memory places him at a different point in time and doesn't remember anything that happened after.

Wheatley eventually returns to the present and asks Claptrap to do it but not to tell Carrie. so they go outside and Claptrap puts Wheatley in his storage tray and they look up at the stars. they talk about how a person can be insignificant and yet incomprehensibly important at the same time and Wheatley realises he understands something GLaDOS tried to tell him when she was dying. he tells Claptrap to shut him off and he does. Carrie, who was there the whole time but didn't say anything so Wheatley could do whatever final stuff he needed to do, thanks him.

Claptrap goes to Pandora to talk to Hammerlock because he doesn't know what else to do. he cries and Hammerlock gives him advice and he sleeps at Hammerlock's house. in the morning when he goes to leave Hammerlock gives him a condolences card and tells him to ask if he needs anything.

on Wheatley and GLaDOS's anniversary, Carrie brings Gladys to see them and they find Claptrap there. he's brought a dandelion but the floor is already covered with both them and the glittery flower he gave her. the mainframe says it thought it would be nice and they're like yeah. Gladys is scared of Claptrap until she finds out he's an alien who can take her to the moon. Gladys is sad that she doesn't get to talk about it with GLaDOS but she talks to her regularly as though she's still there so she's not too sad. Claptrap is like man these two did so much but no one will ever know about it. the only ones who knew about it were them. and Carrie says no, YOU know. Momma showed you ALL her memories. you should write it down. ask someone on Pandora to publish it for you and then the seven galaxies will know what they did. and Claptrap's like you know that's a good idea.

[fluffehpenguin]

STUDY IN ORANGE - CHAPTER 1

A Study in Orange - Chapter 1 - fluffehpenguin - Borderlands (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

“I’m the one you set as the emergency safeguard?” The figure scowls, arms crossed. “Are... Are you just sadistic enough to put me in that thing,” its finger points to the hexagon on his tattered jacket, “So I can rot out here with your corpse, Jack?”

Silence and sand stand between them, unhurried. And it takes a moment to click, but it hits him like a bumper to a skag.

“That’s- my name’s John, pumpkin, but you’re acting real high and mighty for an AI.”

it's here! after 4+ years of working on it, picking it up and putting down writing, the re-do is here!!

also I'm looking for a beta/proofreader - feel free to dm me if you wanna volunteer!! it won't be fast paced, since I'm a slow writer, but I tend to make a lot of grammatical errors & I'd love someone to bounce ideas off of!!

[lord-radish]

I've almost finished Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel, and I've gotta say, the Claptastic Voyage DLC is the Borderlands 1 throwback I was waiting for. It still has that overexaggerated Borderlands 2 comic relief in the main level, but there was a really nice throwback with Dr. Zed and Patricia Tannis, and I think they reused BL1 assets in the BL2 engine which was a cute touch.

I played a lot of Borderlands 1 as a teenager, and I only played the second game as an adult years later. That first game is really empty and dry and a little generic and flaky for the most part, but I really enjoy that spread-out, lonely feeling mixed with the PvE with the skags and rakk and stuff.

It isn't particularly light on dialogue, but it pales in comparison to the second game, where every mission has at least eight entirely voiced lines and random citizens make dubstep noises as you walk around the main hub area - I prefer the sparseness.

Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel is cut entirely from the cloth of Borderlands 2, and it's not a bad thing because BL2 is a technological upgrade from the first game and has way more functionality and flexibility on a gameplay scale. But it also takes after the second game way, way more than the first game, in that the dialogue is fairly dense and they're going for an actual story with key players, not a morally dubious treasure hunt sign-posted with story missions. The humor also has that thing where it's always undercutting itself and it feels like it's trying too hard - more of a BL2 thing than a BL1 thing.

Jack is a very talky character in the Pre-Sequel, given his prominent role and being set up for Borderlands 2, and you have the game's framing device as well which provides running commentary the whole time. You have a motif of heroes and villains not being who you thought they were, which I wasn't super into. It's very much Borderlands 2.5 in function rather than Borderlands 1.5, and while it's understandable on a gameplay level, I just didn't vibe with how hard the story and dialogue tries.

That being said? Claptastic Voyage is another page out of that book, but through the framing device of you going through Claptrap's memories, it acts as more of a bridge between the first two games than the main game does imo. I'm not done yet, but going back to this virtual Fyrestone to get this MacGuffin was a cute segment.

I also like Claptrap for the most part, even if he has a reputation for being a flat comic relief character in the first game. His hateablity was ramped up for the second game and he was turned into a caricature for the sake of humor, but I found it much more obnoxious when the second game continued to shit on him and outright call him unloved than even his small repertoire of canned lines in the first game.

He wasn't perfect in BL1, nor was he a sacred cow - one of my favorite parts of the first game was the Claptrap that gets ganked in the Island of Dr. Ned DLC. But he wasn't the outright punching bag and serial annoyance he was in the second game. Basically, I'm more in line with Angel's "funny little robot" comment than BL2 starting off by ripping out his eye and giving him an inferiority complex.

The Pre-Sequel proper and the DLC still has Claptrap being the point of much mockery and derision, but through seeing his memories and having his inner world be the setting of the DLC - having the character of Claptrap as a focus, in both the BL2 school of beating the shit out of him and giving him more of a straightforward way of addressing the past of BL1 - I think this DLC has bridged the gap between the games a whole lot more than the base Pre-Sequel game did.

To sum up my feelings, it's like the Pre-Sequel existed first and foremost to flesh things out for the second game - the next chronological entry in the series, released two years before - and the Claptastic Voyage DLC is acting more as a bridge between Borderlands 1 and 2. Borderlands 2.5 vs Borderlands 1.5, at least as far as tone and vibes go, even if the DLC still focuses a ton on that BL2 quality of writing.

[homosexual-fast-dancer]

These are for claptrap!! 🎵, ⛱️, 🗒, 💘, 💌, 👻, 💬 and of course; 🪱

(Thank you for the ask :D Ask game here!)

"Hey I got some more questions! Great! Number one: Claptrap, what is a song or lyric that reminds you of Cherry?

Huh, well we don't get that much music in Pandora, but I think The Skag of Love is a pretty good one, I love singing it to her!

Number two: if you could take her anywhere, where would it be and why?

Well, she always said that she wanted to go to Jack's Handsome Lounge (for lovers!) so I guess there, although knowing Jack the chances of going there are slim.

Number three: what are your favorite details about s/i that you think more people should notice?

She has some pretty great dance moves, but people don't seem to be that impressed by them which is really suprising!

Number Four: at what point did you realize you fell in love? what was your initial reaction? what was theirs?

Ah that's easy, when she was still there with me after the incident, that's when I noticed I was in L-U-V! I was surprised at first cause I didn't even think robots could feel that way, she was happy about it though.

Number five: describe your first date. was it a success, awkward, etc.?

Um... have we ever been on an actual date? I don't really have an answer for this one... But I hope it'll be a success when we do finally!

Number six: which of you gets scared easier? any funny stories involving getting scared?

Man, she's pretty fearless and I get scared super easily, so I'm sure you can guess! Funny stories? Well, there was that one time... (begins to ramble a lot)

Uh, anyways, where was I? Oh right! Question seven: who confessed first?

I did! And I gotta say, it was pretty impressive, rose petals came out of nowhere, there was a harp playing in the background, the wholeshabang! (this was all a part of his imagination- still tho, it was sweet)

And finally (and apparently most importantly!): would I still love her if she were a worm?

Of course I would! And as a bonus I would finally be bigger than her for once, she would be a very adorable worm!"

[rapturefangs]

"You have a lot of goddamn guts to comment on the way I raised my son" Emilia's voice cut though the uncomfortable silence that sat above all of the other ghosts, jack had made a backhanded comment about thomas and the way he was raised, this did not set well with Emilia.

So here jack was on his knees, holding onto Emilia's wrist as she gripped the sides of his face with her claws digging into his see though skin. Just because they were all dead doesn't mean they couldn't feel pain inflicted on them by other ghosts. "I didn't get to finish raising my son, My life was taken from me by some power hungry self centered JACKASS WHO THINKS HE HAS THE BALLS TO COMMENT ON BEING A PARENT" Emilia's voice got louder and louder as her grip tightened on Jack's face, her face was turned into a scowl and her eyes were narrowed at jack.

"You are so goddamn lucky Scara killed you and not me because if I had any say in it I would have gutted you like a dying skag and would have used your guts as a new scarf" Emilia spat as she moved closer to Jack's face, "You might have forgotten but I didn't and now everyday I'm going to remind you of what you took from me John"

Jack was released as Emilia looked towards the others and faded away, ferrer looked at Jack and shook his head disappointed and faded away. August stood there along with Vazquez looking at eachother confused on what to do, they settled on talking to Wilbur and leaving it at that. They faded away soon after leaving jack sitting by himself with his thoughts.

He held the sides of his face, he could still feel the sting of her claws digging into his skin, he remembered everything more clearly now that ferrer and Emilia were around. He remembered the screams, the blood, the bodies and he remembered the look on Thomas's face as jack ruined his life. He remembered the screams of Thomas himself, he remembered him screaming until his voice was sore and he couldn't scream anymore. Jack remembered everything that happened leading up to Thomas working for him, every hateful glare and every backhanded comment he remembered.

And she would never let him live it down even after being dead for god knows how long, Emilia and Ferrer would serve to be reminders.

@your-local-mouser heres the finished thing >:)

[timothylawrence]

rolilith time B) 👁👁 also mine were writing wips too lol i just tend to also be drawing smth to go along with them

LOL i'm glad i'm not alone, i also like to draw for my writing prompts hehe!!! Rolilith time was the name for the fic i've now finished hehe, it was about the BL1 gang post BL1 with rolilith and mordibrick being a cute bestie family while discovering their feelings :D! I wrote it for the lovely fillll my dearest my darling.

here's a cute exerpt of my fav duo, lilith and brick hehe!

“Brick,” She greets, the hot pandora sun beating down on them both. “Hi.” 

“Hey!” He replies, grinning big. 

“You’re covered in a lot of blood,” Lilith goes on. “Uh, I’m gonna assume it’s not yours.” 

The man lets out a burly laugh, collapsing down on the ground beside her. “Hell no, this is all skag blood,” He answers. 

Lilith can smell it now. She hides her cringe.

[seaofmuses]

❛ Smells of dead human sacrifices ❜ - @redjaybird​

“Ah well yeah. Because they’re all dead, dipshit. Our followers aren’t the smartest lot in the galaxies. Just toss the freaking bodies on the pile for the skags.”