#love & hope are the only things capable of keeping anyone going. in my humble opinion

[sevicia]

I honestly think I'm way too sensitive for the way the world is rn like just generally speaking ykwim. but I don't wanna change that. I spent my entire childhood unable to feel much of anything at all and accumulating piles upon piles of resentment and fear that I still can't express because it scares me. I've mentioned this a bit jokingly but it really does feel like I gained consciousness not too long ago and am just starting to feel like a person. It's been taking me a much longer time than most people my age but I try to not be too angry at myself for that because it just doesn't feel like something I would've been able to force anyways. Basically I may be stupid (💯) but I'm gonna be earnest & sincere about it.

[dreamingofaizawa]

Powerful Ch. 1

Yakuza! Shouta Aizawa x Fem! Reader

*Mafia AU* Quirkless as well

Warnings: Arranged (sort of) marriage, brief mention of champagne, mentions of violence (nothing too specific). In later chapters: Probably smut

Word Count: 3.4 k

Author’s Note: ALRIGHTY here we go. I just had a fixation on Mafia AUs and, of course, it’s Shouta. What else did you expect? I’m a sucker for arranged relationships. Also he’s a little ooc in here, more confident, more ‘I want it I got it’. Hey, he’s the most powerful man in Japan, might as well have him act like it right? Anywho, I have no clue how many chapters this’ll end up being. Let’s just say this is ongoing for now.

Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Enjoy~

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25 years old and you haven’t been married off yet. This was strategic on your father’s part. As a rather low-ranking clan he’d purposely saved you, his eldest daughter, for marrying into a higher ranked clan. You’d bring immense honor to the family name. If only you’d known what you were getting into, maybe you could have been better prepared for your world to flip on its head.

The black velvet gown you wear is tailored perfectly to your form, accentuating every curve and dip on your body. The skirt fanned out around you gracefully and a short train trailed behind you as you stepped through the grand doors of the massive mansion. Tonight is the annual celebratory ball, held to celebrate successful unions and achievements. This one was particularly special, you just didn’t quite know it yet.

Since the event wasn’t mandatory, you were told to go in alone as a representative of your clan, while Mother and Father attended to more important matters. Before you even stepped in you fixed your posture and schooled your expression, keeping your form humbled. Heavens know what could happen should you irk the wrong clan.

Inside you were met with an onslaught of mixed everything, mixed drinks and colors and styles. Some wore traditional Japanese kimono, others more modern versions of the garment and others, like you, wearing more extravagant european or western style clothing. Though a rather interesting mix, nothing quite clashed which you were slightly grateful for, since there was no possible way you could make it through the night without a headache if there was an unpleasant mix of visuals.

You strode through and instantly met several lower clan heads that you respectfully bowed to and engaged in pleasant small talk with, moving from person to person, couple to couple and paying respects to all of them. You kept a small smile, a pleasant facade as you waltzed over the hardwood flooring. It took almost two hours of endless conversation before you managed to catch a break in the madness, snatching a small flute of champagne from a waiter and leaning up against a wall for a breath. 

You still hadn’t noticed the pair of dark eyes that studied you from the moment you arrived.

____

You struck him as intriguing at first. From the moment you walked over the threshold his eyes drank you in, studying you, observing and judging just as he had with many other women before you. No one here knows it, but the man is looking for a bride. Someone who could stand by his side,improve and uphold his image, help him wield the power that is the Yakuza. Yes, rank is important, but Shouta is too picky to care about rank. He is looking for a specific type of woman, one that can hold untold depths of power without crumbling under the pressure or getting swept up in the rush of it all.

A woman, he decides, like you.

You held yourself with grace, pride and humility. You seemed to understand your position, your probable low rank, while also not undermining your importance nor worth. A woman like you is hard to come by in this world, most just as power hungry and ruthless and greedy as their husbands, all while putting up a cotton candy sweet mask and using it to disguise their conniving ways. 

But in truth, that’s what it took to live this kind of life, isn’t it?

It was clear you knew that, while still managing to feel genuine in everything you did, even with an action as simple as sipping champagne. At the same time he can’t deny you are quite beautiful, soft lips and softer eyes, fingers gently grasping your glass with unmatched elegance and an unwavering strength in your posture. You’d bowed before many this evening, and yet you stood taller than even the highest ranking clan heads without challenging a single one of them. Bamboo in this forest of tall, unyielding trees. Capable of wielding so much power.

For a split second his mind wandered to other things, filthy moments shared in the privacy of his chambers, shared breaths and shimmering sweaty skin. He wondered what you would be like underneath him, if you would be a brat or willingly submit yourself to him. He hopes it to be the latter, but wouldn’t completely deny the chance to tame someone difficult. How would you look pinned under his weight, completely helpless to his hands that have killed and tortured? Would you claw at his shoulders or grip the sheets instead? What would you sound like? Your image plagued his mind even if only for a moment.

He’d studied many women over the few hours since the event started, none of them giving him a good enough first impression for him to continue watching further than a minute. There was no question in his mind now. You’d be returning home with him tonight.

____

You had just finished your drink and set the empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray when suddenly the ballroom fell extremely silent. All heads turned, eyes focused on the man that began his descent from the balcony overlooking the floor. He’s gorgeous, long black hair pulled into a low bun and exposing the light scruff on his chin and impossibly sharp jaw, a deep scar curved under his right eye. The full black satin suit is fitted to his form, strong shoulders and rolling muscle evident even under the thick materials. Ink peeked over the collar, a hint at what was definitely intricate sleeves and detailed artwork. His steps were measured, calculated and purposeful as he made his way down and across the floor, the entire room bowing down at his presence. 

You know who he is, as does every person here. Top rung of the ladder, Oyabun of the most powerful clan in Japan, his name widely known through the entire organization and yet almost never spoken. Shouta Aizawa, a name both respected and feared, holding unknown power and strength. His reputation is enough to make anyone feel small in his presence, known for his cold demeanor and the violence he’d committed, many losing their fingers, loved ones, and their own lives for misdeeds against him. He’d done most of that himself, marking him as a very dangerous man to be involved with, and an ally everyone wanted backing them.

You bowed down respectfully just as everyone else did, waiting patiently for a release, whether it was from the man himself or a collective understanding that it was alright to rise once again. The former was the first to come to fruition, though you didn’t expect him to be so close to you as he said it. Your eyes met with sharp onyx as you fixed yourself upright. It made you freeze in place, not quite tense, not quite relaxed, your expression hopefully not showing the utter shock you were feeling.

“What is your name?” You blinked only once before your mind caught up, and you willed your voice steady as you responded. What had you done to piss him off? What punishment awaited you for what you didn’t know you’d done? Despite fearing what may come, you don’t dare speak out of turn, even to beg for your life. His next words were addressed to the entire ballroom, you included, his smooth, deep voice booming out and yet somehow not loud at all.

“Any transgression against this woman is a transgression against me. As my future wife she is untouchable, and will remain that way until I explicitly state otherwise.��� A collective hushed gasp sounded through the massive hall, your own eyes growing wide and your heart damn near stopping as your brain dissected the information. He just made you his fiance, with no warning, no hesitation, and full confidence. You are now engaged to the most powerful man in Japan, and you have exactly zero say in the matter. Really though, you never expected to be able to voice any opinions considering the patriarchy of the organization, so that bit of shock was quickly overlooked.

“It’s time to retire, little one.” His hand was held out to you, waiting for your own. You blinked, deciding it was best that you saved your shock for later you focused on the here and now and what to do in this moment. Taking a breath, you schooled your face into a pleasant smile and placed your hand in his waiting palm, allowing him to tuck you into his side as you both walked out the front doors and climbed into a black limouzine.

You didn’t allow yourself to relax, sitting silently next to the man as trees and telephone poles whizzed by the vehicle. It was tense, to say the least, his hand possessively sat on your knee as his eyes remained fixed in front of him and yours did the same. Neither of you talked, you slightly out of fear, of respect, and slightly out of sheer shock, your mind just barely able to keep itself together. He remained silent for a purpose. He would talk when you were alone, or when he felt like talking. Which isn’t right now.

You let your mind whirl a bit, worrying about what this meant for you. Worrying about how this powerful man would treat you, how he acted behind closed doors and if he even cared about you or what you might have to say. It’s nerve-wracking, suddenly bound to a power such as him, not knowing what could happen next, not knowing what to do next. There was nothing that could have prepared you for this.

The car slowed as it pulled up to the gate of the enormous estate, shaking you out of your thoughts, and once it opened the drive to the main house took nearly five minutes on its own. It’s a modern home, several stories tall with the top clearly penthouse-style with a full glass wall that overlooks the landscape, the rest of the huge inner home hidden behind crisp walls.

At a full stop, a man opens the door for you, the Oyabun having already exited and held a hand out for you to grab once again, strong muscles pulling you up with ease and leading you through the building and into an elevator. The silence is stifling as you wait for the machine to come to a stop, the soft chime indicating you’ve landed. 

Now you’re completely alone with him.

He leads you in and stops in the center of the large main room, stepping away and turning his scrutinizing gaze onto you. You do your best not to tense in front of him, not to show fear, partially for his comfort though you’re sure he’s used to it. His shoes clack softly, rhythmically on the polished wood floor as he begins to circle you, like a predator eyeing its prey, eyes burning paths up and down your form. You barely keep from squirming under his intense gaze, managing to keep still from sheer willpower. He stops suddenly behind you and you feel his warmth as he leans in close before a hand presses into your mid back and another gently grasps your shoulder, gently making you straighten even more, stand even taller.

Once he’s satisfied with your posture he rounds you and tilts your chin just a tad higher with a hooked finger. He’s silent as he shapes you, adjusting your body to his liking. You let him tenderly push and tug, grab and knead and trail those deadly fingers over you until he stops before you, studying you once again. 

“You’re my fiance now. You will hold yourself as such, radiate power as I do and command the attention of a room with only a glance.” The reminder of just what was happening made your breath stutter a little, and his hand came up to grasp your chin, making you look up into his dark eyes.

“You will learn, little one, to be the powerful woman I see.” He was so close, the heat from his body rolling over your skin and his breaths fanning over your face. Then he was walking away, motioning for you to follow as he led you to his chambers and bathroom to get cleaned up. You’d be sleeping with him from now on, he said, handing you a robe to change into after you’ve bathed and guiding you into the bathroom before closing the door and leaving you alone with your thoughts as you set to cleaning yourself.

Given you don’t screw things up, you are going to be the most powerful woman in Japan, solely because of a sudden arranged marriage dropped seemingly from out of nowhere. But the longer you think about it, it isn’t really out of nowhere is it? The Oyabun is 30 now, and until tonight hadn’t named a wife, nor any love interests, and therefore no possible heirs. If the man were to die for any reason, those chances only increasing the older he gets, the power vacuum his absence would create would be absolute madness. You’re part of a strategy, just as before. Just as always.

Yet there was no denying he’d struck something inside you. Of all the women in that hall he approached you, a woman he didn’t know from a low ranked clan, for reasons you could only barely begin to guess. He’d called you powerful earlier, the sincerity in his voice making your mind spin. Did he really see you as powerful? And the name he’d used for you felt far too tender on the tongue of such a dangerous man, though you understood the nod toward your previous rank. 

Father and Mother must be either confused, shocked, or overflowing with joy right about now. Confused as to why you haven’t returned, shocked, happy, or both at the news had they learned it. With your mind processing everything, your body finally begins to feel fatigued. 

You shut off the water before drying yourself, patting your hair in the towel before pulling on the fluffy robe. It was clearly meant for him, the fuzzy black garment large around the shoulders and sleeves engulfing your hands, the garment nearly touching the floor where it’s meant to hang several inches from it on his frame. Despite swimming in the robe, you couldn’t help but feel a bit vulnerable. You’re bare beneath it, not having planned to not return home. Still, it’s late, and the Oyabun needs to shower as well. With a steadying breath, you step out into the room.

He’s standing near the bed, the top half of his clothing discarded and bare skin exposed, along with the heavy tattooing and scars along his body. Dragon scales decorated his skin, along with delicate swirls heavily resembling smoke and clouds that followed the curves of his corded muscles. He is undoubtedly a beautiful man. You don’t realize you’re staring until a miniscule smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.

“Enjoying the view, little one?” You blink away your daze and shift your eyes to the side, feeling the slight burn in your face at being caught. Instead of answering the cheeky question you choose to change the subject.

“I’m finished with my shower, Oyabun.” He hums, a low sound you can feel in your chest.

“I can see that, little one. And you call me Shouta.” You take a quiet, sharp inhale and nod.

“Yes, of course...Shouta.” His name feels heavy on your tongue, a name that people didn’t normally dare speak. He’s silent as he gathers his things and moves toward the bathroom, stopping momentarily by your side. You’re confused a moment before his calloused fingers gently grip your jaw and turn your head, his lips pressing softly against your temple for a split second before he’s disappearing into the bathroom. 

You stand in shock, the tender touch unexpected. Shaking your head, you decide it’s best to lay down. Hopefully you’d fall asleep by the time he finishes bathing, but you doubted it. You’re proven right when, in the midst of mulling over your own thoughts, he emerges in nothing but sweatpants, dark hair still damp as it fell around his shoulders. You managed to avert your eyes before he could catch you staring for a second time tonight, and it wasn’t long before he slipped under the blankets next to you.

There wasn’t a single word shared between you as he flicked off the lights with a remote and settled into the plush mattress. There was no movement from the man as you lay with your back to him. You aren’t entirely sure if the lack of movement unsettles you more than if he were to be shuffling around. It felt like hours had passed in the darkness, your eyes had adjusted and you couldn’t sleep despite how exhausted you felt. 

Your mind raced with questions. What happens now? What happens with your clan and parents? Would you have clothes soon? How would he treat you? How were you supposed to act around him? When is the wedding? Is the engagement already official? What if you disappoint him and fuck everything over? The entire situation makes you anxious, for more than something as trivial as your own safety. You shift onto your back and listen to Shouta’s soft snores, signaling his sleep. As silently and gently as you can, you slip out of bed.

You have no clue what you were going to do or where you were going to do it, but you had to get away from him if only for a moment, to let yourself breathe and think. Almost mindlessly, you find yourself staring out of the glass wall and out into the night. This far out, you can see the stars in the night sky clear and bright, and it was a sight you missed having lived in the city most of your life. Right here you have room to think, space to spread your thoughts and calm your mind to keep from jumbling everything in your brain and stressing over it more. 

From what you can tell there is a very small chance Shouta would treat you maliciously, so for now you don’t have to worry about that. Considering his power and status, you won’t be without clothing for long. The thought was silly in the first place, but stress tended to make you question even the most ridiculous. As for how you’re meant to act, well that would have to be tested. He’d already told you how to appear to the public, so that shouldn’t be too hard, but being alone with the man was driving you insane.

Soft footsteps broke you from your thoughts. You spin around, suddenly very much on guard, before Shouta’s voice broke through the darkness, his figure slowly approaching. 

“What are you doing up, little one?” You bite your lip and turn to gaze outside again, hugging your arms tight.

“Just thinking. I apologize for waking you, Oya-… Shouta.” His warmth hit you before his skin did, chest pressed into your back and large rough hands gripping your shoulders firm but gentle. His breath is hot on your ear and neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Such an intimate action from him only hours after he’d made you his fiance was quite the shock in and of itself, only enhanced by the fact that this man is known for his cold nature.

“Thinking about what?” His hands smoothed down your arms, following them around your waist and encompassing your hands in his, tugging you into him further. Unnatural as it may seem, it feels good, his warmth. In the arms of such a dangerous and powerful man you should feel small and scared, but you don’t. You aren’t entirely sure what it is you feel. Truthfully, you don’t have the energy to answer his question properly.

“About a lot of things. Too many things.” Right now, the only thing you want to do is melt into the man’s arms. His presence is suddenly comforting, instead of worrying, and you feel safe in his embrace. You sigh and lean into him, fatigue finally beginning to tug at your body and mind. Strong arms scoop you up like nothing, and suddenly you’re being placed down on the bed before he climbs in and pulls you onto him. An arm circles your waist while the other cradles your head, a tender kiss placed at your hairline.

“Sleep, little one.” His fingers thread through your hair, massaging your scalp lightly. It’s a soothing action, especially after nearly giving yourself a headache from stress. It isn’t long before you’re nodding off, relaxing into his body and letting his steady heartbeat lull you to sleep.

[silverinia]

fav Diane and Kurt scene?

I'm not gonna lie anon, for reasons I can't explain I'm completely incapable of naming just one, even though I actually have a definite favourite. I just felt so bad not listing a couple of other scenes that I love, so I made it a list. You probably won't believe me when I say this but I really tried to narrow this down to a top 5 but I kind of didn't feel like sleeping last night and well... This is not what you asks for anymore but I sort of figured that this is still my blog and so I can do whatever I want with it. And last night I apparently felt like ranking twenty McHart scenes. Anyway... enjoy this.

(Disclaimer no. 1: There are so many more great ones that I would've liked to name, but this post is going to fuck up everyone's timeline as it is, so let's save the idea of me rating every single McHart scene for a point in time where we actually have access to all McHart scenes that will ever exist and then I'll just destroy tumblr and we'll all live miserably ever after)

(Disclaimer no. 2: Also please keep in mind that I finished this list at 7 in the morning, I haven't slept in 24 hours, so it probably won't even make sense to me as soon as I've gotten some sleep)

(Disclaimer no. 3: Apparently tumblr only allows me to put up to ten images in one post (which is rude af in my humble opinion), so I'm going to have to post this gradually in reblogs. I hope it won't end up being too chaotic)

(Disclaimer no. 4: The vast majority of the following gifs wasn't made by me. I'm not claiming that they're mine and if anyone would like me to credit them or take their work off this post, feel free to dm me any time!)

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20. The One Inspired by Roy Cohn (3x02 TGF)

The one where Diane comes home after work and Kurt has knotted ribbons around their beer bottles because he's just straight up a lovesick idiot.

This scene, you guys... it's the gift that keeps on giving because I will never stop mocking Kurt for his inability to tie a simple bow. It gave us domestic McHart. It gave us a great kiss. It gave us "Hans and Franz, your safari buddies" and "baby zebra bbq", two of the best things Diane Lockhart has ever said on both shows. It made "Mrs McVeigh" canon. It just deserved a spot on this list.

19. Silver Bullet (2x15 TGW)

The one where Kurt really wants to go on vacay with the idiotic overworked love of his life and tries to talk her into it by agreeing to make it a marriage proposal, because he probably thought, "Huh. Might as well tie the knot [you know, because he's physically capable of that] while we're at it 🤷🏻‍♀️", aka the one where McHart completely owns the idiots in love trope.

This is not going to surprise a single person out there who's part of the fandom because I've been going on and on and on about McHart and Costa Rica for years now, and I won't let anyone hear the end of it. Never. Never ever. You're welcome, world.

Anyway, iconic scene. Deserved a spot.

18. The Wheels Of Justice (4x19 TGW)

The one where Diane short-circuits Kurt's brain by merely walking into the same room he's in.

Also the one where Kurt bursts out laughing at the idea of working on the Colin Sweeney case because it's just so ridiculous: him, the "I don't take on guilty peoples' cases because I have moral standards" guy working on a Colin Sweeney case, a man who's killed approximately 78352 of his wives. Ridiculous... Laughable... Exactly up until Diane bats her eyelashes at him and smiles very sweetly and asks him, "Just do it for me?" while tilting her head aside and yeah, the next scene he's in he's working on the case.

Also the one where the joke's on Kurt.

Underrated scene. Deserved at least three-hundred emmys in the category of "entertaining idiots who deserve an emmy or three-hundred". Didn't get the emmys but did get a spot on this list. And I'd say that's close enough.

17. Day 492 (2x13 TGF)

The one where Kurt said "Go to hell" to a couple of FBI agents and Diane reacts by fucking him while said FBI agents can hear them through the bugs they put in their house.

I honestly don't know where to begin with this scene, I actually tend to completely block it out of my mind because I always feel like it's something we collectively hallucinated as a fandom. But I'm glad I remembered it in time before I finished this list because it's just a god tier scene and the kiss is absolutely perfect and the way he blushes is adorable and the way she smiles at him melts my heart and I'm rambling now but you get it. You get it.

16. Previously On... (5x01 TGF)

The one where Kurt pulls Diane aside from a room full of people to privately tell her that RBG has died because he doesn't want her to find out in an environment where she feels like she has to keep herself together when she really can't and he tells her in a way that almost makes me tear up right now as I'm trying to describe it and he just really wants to be there for her in a moment where he knows she needs him to ground her, as he always does, and Diane, thinking this still has anything to do with politics for him, argues that he doesn't have to pick up those pieces because he doesn't share her beliefs, and Kurt tells her that he can still feel bad for her because this is about them, about his love for his wife who he knew was going to be crushed by this and he genuinely just wants to be there for her because he cares, and she says that she doesn't deserve him and she calls him "babe" in a way I never expected this stupid word to be able to break my fucking heart, and they hug and it's honestly my no. 1 favourite McHart hug so far and now that I'm writing this, I'm realising that this scene deserved to be so much higher on this list but I literally don't have the energy to change it again, so you'll just have to act like this is actually in the top five, along with the other five because numbers don't actually make a lot of sense anyway.

What a scene. I need a glass of water.

15. The One About The End Of The World (3x10 TGF)

The one where we probably got the peak of domestic McHart and Diane's hair is messy and they're both wearing pyjamas and Diane says she loves Kurt and she also says "British, blah blah blah" which is just hilarious, and they're on the couch and they're just so married that I almost cannot believe it but I won't doubt it for a second because it's not like my body could possibly function if it wasn't true.

I just love this episode. I have my fair share of complaints about season 3, but this episode? I loved it so much. It's one of my all time favourites. And I make silly little noises whenever I watch this scene. Absolutely deserved a spot.

[punkfeathers]

hello hello !! it's your bnha secret santa 🎉 how we doing ? so, i see that you like the fatgum agency group! solid choice, they're a group of adorable babies. what would you say is the thing that draws you most to them? (as a group, and/or as individuals)

Ah, hello!! Thank you so much for asking! (and for the opportunity to talk about my favorite characters!) I’ll try really hard not to go too overboard with this but I apologize in advance if I start rambling 😂

Firstly, Tamaki is pretty much what drew me to liking them all in the first place. I’ve never in my life seen a character with an anxiety disorder portrayed in anime before, so when I first saw him I was like, ‘...Positive mental illness representation? In MY fandom?!’ To this day he’s still the anime character I relate the most to, and I love that he’s seen as a strong and capable hero trying to overcome his weaknesses. That definitely strikes a major chord with me. And I mean, it helps that he’s absolutely adorable.

Same goes for Kirishima, who also has self esteem issues (honestly...is there anyone who doesn’t like Kirishima?) He’s basically Tamaki’s sunshine little brother who’s always hyping him up, and I love that dynamic. Add Tetsutetsu to the mix and all I can do is picture this poor stressed out, anxious boy trying to keep his two overly excitable teammates in line while on patrols 😆 We don’t get a lot of Tetsutetsu content but I kinda get the impression that he’s a ‘punch bad guys first, ask questions later’ sort of dude - he might not think things through all the time but his heart’s in the right place, lol.

And Fat Gum - oh boy. His entire personality is handing out candy and helping his kids believe in themselves (and definitely giving the best hugs.) I love that he took in two kids with low self confidence and dedicates himself to helping them see how amazing they truly are. It’s a shame that his backstory is only hinted at in the manga, because he clearly became a hero for honest reasons and not because he cares about being famous or the ‘best’. He’s just a genuinely good guy who wants to help people, and I love him for that. Dad of the century, hands down (in my humble opinion).

Thank you again for the ask, and for being my secret santa! 🥺🥰 This is my first time participating in this event and I hope you’re having as much fun brainstorming ideas as I am!

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Fragmentation Fanfic

Title: Fragmentation

Summary: Once Upon a Time, a Bold-and-Boisterous Prince sits on a throne. A Bold-and-Boisterous Prince has a great fall. A Hallowed Heart finds him in pieces and a Studious Scholar puts the Prince back together again. Or. 

A broken crown lies in an empty throne room. A Shrewd Snake and a Shy Spiderling enter the throne room. Only there isn’t just a broken crown awaiting them, there’s a broken boy. All the words and all the actions can’t put the boy back together again, but a listening ear and a comforting embrace softens the pain. Or.

If a mirror shatters into two pieces, which one is the original piece?

Word-Count: 2.9k

Pairings: Platonic Moralogince, Platonic Anxceitmus

Warnings: Angst, Crying, Panic, Murder Mention, Death Mention, Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending Kinda?, No Unsympathetic Sides At Worst Morally Grey

Hi, anyone remember the random ficlet I posted in pieces months back that ended all happily? Well, I expanded upon it and here we are. Or in other news, here’s my take on a Split Fic, and it’s not your typical take in my humble opinion.

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A clatter echoed in the throne room. A golden crown laid cracked in two. A soft thud followed it as a red sash carelessly engulfed the crown. An exhale, long and strained. Silence. Then a sob as a prince fell to the ground, shattering.

A battered and beaten Heart came along searching for the Prince. He called out his name, searching the castle high and low. But the Prince did not answer nor did the Heart catch a glimpse of him. When the Heart entered the throne room, he kept his gaze on the empty throne. It was not until his foot caught on something that he drew his attention to the marble floor.

“Oh my!” the Heart gaped, eyes watering, “Oh dear!”

Lying at the Heart’s feet, was the fragmented remains of the once bold and boisterous Prince. The Heart touched a piece, a chill pulsing through him at its cold, ceramic touch.

Great globs of tears fell down the Heart’s face as he toppled to the floor in anguish.

He gathered the pieces close to his chest, trying to put the beloved Prince back together again. But for all the Heart’s earnest efforts, the pieces only fractured and splintered into more.

The Heart placed his head into his hands, shaking. He was not good enough to save the Prince. Worse than that, he not only failed but he had damaged the Prince further. He could feel his insides growing frayed, threatening to unravel and come unmade like the Prince himself.

But with a breath of air, he held it together. He may not have the ability to put back together the Prince, but perhaps the Scholar could.

The Scholar was smart. His idea of fun afternoon involved delving into complex, convoluted math theorems. Out of anyone in the realm of Thomas, the Heart trusted him most in solving the matter of the broken Prince.

Lifting a hand away from his face, the Heart summoned him. The Scholar arrived, completely oblivious. His eyes closed, hands tightly clasped around his bowtie. “Welcome to the Jungle, it’s so exciting--” the Scholar recited, in a spoken monotone measure.

The Heart pulled incessantly on the Scholar’s pants leg to grab his attention. This caused the Scholar to jump back, startled. His eyes flew open, trailing down at the Heart and then to the porcelain remains of the Prince.

Usually, the Scholar was never one at a loss for words. He was always the first to ask questions, to seek knowledge to better equip himself and others. But he kept staring at the scene before him, seemingly having lost the capability of speech.

Then a strange stifled noise came from the Scholar. As if there was a blockage in his lungs, a spear that punctured all the air out of them. But of course, there was no spear sticking out of his chest. No logical reason for such a noise to occur. With a face devoid of all emotion, the Scholar knelt down beside the Heart.

He picked up a piece, examining it with an analytical touch, short of licking it. Licking things was a very scientific tool. A tool he refrained from deploying at this moment.

“It’s him isn’t it?” The Scholar said at last, frowning, “But how? It does not make logical sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” The Heart piped up, “but his realm doesn’t tend to follow the rules of reality. But you can fix this, right? Undo wh–whatever this is?”

The Scholar frowned, eyeing the ceramic shards carefully. 

“It is always easier to destroy than to create,” He began, “Or recreate in this instance. However, that does not mean it is improbable.”

A spark of hope ignited in Heart. So you can do it?!”

“I can try,” The Scholar amended, “There is, of course, a possibility it will not work at all.”

The Scholar placed the piece in his hand on the floor along with the rest. Then he stood up, outstretching a hand.

 “You should get back.” He advised. The Heart nodded, scampering a few feet back for good measure.

Satisfied with this, the Scholar’s eyes glowed indigo as he called forth his power. Nonsensical, really, but it was how the Prince’s dominion interpreted him; a wizened wizard with a terrifying amount of power. The Scholar restored sensibility to its whimsy. He could reduce a magical unicorn to an average horse.

Something similar could be applied in this situation. He would take the shattered statue and return its original completely whole flesh-and-blood state. He just had to focus and recall every factual evidence he knew of the Prince. Chips and chunks of ceramic floated in the air, swirling as they came together again. At first the shape was ambiguous. 

But as more and more pieces flew up, it became more apparent. A graceful swoop of auburn hair. A chiseled perfectly-formed jaw. A white tunic with a red sash spilling across the chest.

 Bit by bit, their treasured prince was returning to them at last.

As the last piece fell into place, a bright light burst forth, filling up the entirety of the throne room. Both the Heart and the Scholar were knocked to the ground by its force. As quickly as it came, it faded. 

“Ouch.” Heart murmured, still keeping a hand over his stinging eyes. The Scholar tried forcing his eyes open, but a wave of nausea hit him. He slumped back down, drained from the massive amount of energy he’d expended.

The sound of strutting boots reached both their ears, growing louder as it neared. Then it stopped. 

“Helloooo?”

The Heart opened his eyes. Through his burning, black-spot riddled vision, the Prince’s befuddled face greeted him. Whole and complete with no signs of cracked lines running across his sun-kissed skin.

“Prince!” The Heart exclaimed, jumping to his feet to embrace him, “You’re okay!”

“Whoa!” The Prince said, holding out his arms for balance. He nearly collapsed regardless when a second set of arms engulfed him. Despite being adamant against physical touch, the Scholar was also…hugging him?

“Not that I don’t appreciate being lavished with displays of affection, I must ask–what in Walt Disney’s name is going on?” 

“We thought we lost you!” The Heart wailed, “and that you wouldn’t ever be coming back!”

“Indeed, th-the possibility of you returning to your full stature was low.” The Scholar said, leaning heavily on the other two for support.

“Well that’s preposterous!” The Prince declared, bringing his arms around his friends, “You should know that a hero like myself could never die.”

“Pompous as always.” The Scholar snorted, but there was no true malice to it.

“Are you feeling alright?” The Heart queried.

“I’m right as rain!” The Prince said with a wide smile, “I admit, I’m very fuzzy on what happened, but I feel much better now.”

“That would make sense, seeing as we found you in actual pieces.” 

The Heart sniffled, burying his head into the Prince’s tunic. “I love you two so much, you know that right?”

“Of course we know, you tell us this every day,” The Scholar responded. Neither Heart nor Scholar saw the hesitation dancing in the Prince’s eyes before it was overswept by a glimmering gleam.

“And we love you very much, Heart,” The Prince said, “Why, I’d fight a thousand dragons to keep you safe!”

The Heart giggled at this. Then wailed, leaving wet spots in the Prince’s pristine clothing. “Th--that’s lovely, but all I want is to cuddle with you and Scholar watching Disney movies and never ever ever let go!”

“That’s ridiculous,” Scholar said, “you’d have to let go at some point--”

“Scholar,” The Prince said, holding up a hand, “Not the time.”

The Prince then massaged the Heart’s scalp, carefully untangling his locks of hair. “My Dear Heart, I apologize. I didn't mean to distress you or the Scholar so. If that’s what you wish for me to do with you two for the rest of the night, I shall do that.”

“I would not be opposed to that.” The Scholar agreed, “As long as we go to bed at an appropriate time--”

“Then it’s settled!” The Prince exclaimed, “Come on, let us build the most magnificent blanket fort!”

With a snap of his fingers, the three vanished. 

The throne room stood silent once more, absent of any apparent sentient life. All that remained was a dusty floor and a crown broken in two. It remained this way only just mere moments. For a Snake came slithering around, forked tongue sniffing the air. Scuttling after him came a Spiderling. All eyes and legs and not much else.

“Snake, why are we here?” The Spiderling asked, “This is the Prince’s domain! He won’t be happy if he finds us here!”

“Shush, Spiderling. Everything will be fineee.” Snake reassured, picking up the broken halves of the Prince’s golden crown. He examined them closely with a careful eye.

“Just because you say that doesn’t make it true!” Spiderling scowled, stomping a leg.

“If you’re so worried, you didn’t have to come.”

Spiderling mumbled something. The Snake raised an eyebrow, “Come again?”

“I came because I wanna protect you from getting hurt!” The Spiderling burst out, face flushing red.

“Aww, I despise you too,” The Snake cooed, ruffling Spiderling’s hair. The latter let out a shriek, hands flying to fix his hair at once.

“But you know I am totally a damsel-in-distress. Completely incapable of defending myself. Besides, surely you felt it too--the Disturbance.”

The Spiderling nodded, grimacing, “I felt Prince...he...is that his crown?!”

“Yes. Just like him to leave such a beloved possession broken and abandoned on the floor, hm?”

“Let me touch it,” The Spiderling pleaded. For he could draw the slightest hint of misery into himself with a simple touch. And with that misery, perhaps a glimpse into what tragedy befell the prince.

The Snake hesitated, before nodding his head. The Spiderling then stood up on the tippy-toes of his numerous legs, tracing one of his fingers on the remains of the crown lying in the Snake’s hands. A spark of anguish jolted the Spiderling at once.

He experienced a pounding, excruciating headache. A mind torn in two, attempting to entertain two polarizing ideas at once. Anger, sadness, frustration crashed down upon the Spiderling wave after wave. It sought to overwhelm, drive him to self-destruction like it had the young Prince.

The Spiderling cried out in pain, his hands cradling his face as he dropped to the floor. A series of metallic clangs followed and then the Snake was at his side.

“Spider!” The Snake cried, laying a cool hand on top of the Spiderling’s, “You’re okay, you’re fine, everything’s fineeeee.”

The Spiderling’s eyes glowed gold for a second, his face relaxing completely. Slowly, the gold left his eyes and he dug his face into the Snake’s satin vest with a whimper.

“I knew it, I knew I shouldn’t have allowed you to touch it,” The Snake said, stroking the other’s unruly mop of hair in a soothing manner.

“I’m okay,” The Spiderling grumbled, “Dealt with worse.”

“Lie.” 

“M-maybe, but Prince, he’s--” The Spiderling hesitated, tears gathering in his eyes, “I think he’s dead!”

“I’m not!” A voice said, hauntingly cheery, “but I wish I was!” 

Both Snake and Spiderling froze, each gazing at the throne room every which way. But besides themselves, there was no one else there.

The Snake’s slitted eye narrowed, “Who are you?”

“I’m the Prince!” The voice claimed, “Or at least, I was. Still am? It’s very unclear. I’m the pieces they forgot, the pieces nobody knew about! Hiding away, like an axe murderer hiding in a closet to kill you in your sleep!”

The Spiderling shuddered at the simile, both sets of arms clinging to Snake for dear life. He was very much content to allow Snake to do the talking for the two of them.

“What do you mean?” The Snake asked.

“Well, you see, I--the Prince--again, very confusing like that weird nightmare Thomas had about eating chocolate-covered teeth--had an argument with himself, ourselves? And his--my head hurt, like it was gonna explode! And so we did! Into itty bitty pieces of confetti and blood and guts!”

The Disturbance. The Snake’s blood ran cold at this. All this time the Prince was dealing with something on the levels of this, and he had no idea? How could the Snake not sense this hidden turmoil? 

That was what the Snake was best at--knowing the jagged truths behind brightly-painted facades. If he’d known--he could’ve possibly helped--well, it didn’t matter now.

Out loud, the Snake simply deadpanned, “Delightful.” 

“Isn’t it?!” The voice shrieked, two green eyes bulging with excitement, “Anywho, that’s when Mr. No Fun showed up and started boo-hooing. He tried to fix it, but he just made it worse! So that’s when he invited Smartypants to join the party.”

“Heart and Scholar?” 

“Winner, winner, chicken-weiner!” Two hands abruptly appeared, clapping, “Now I like Smartypants, but like I said, he’s a Smartypants, thinks he knows everything there is to know and hates when we--I make things up just because!”

“I feel your pain.” 

“Do you?” A several sets of needle-thin, sharp teeth jutted out.

The Snake waved a hand, “Not literally. I don’t presume to know what your pain feels like because I am not you. But I’ve had my run-ins with the Scholar and while an...useful asset to Thomas, I agree he can be difficult to deal with.”

Something green and sticky coiled around the Snake’s bottom reptilian half, entangling the end of his tail. “Ooh I like you!”

Another green-and-sticky something attached to the Spiderling, who did his very best to stay still and not freak. “And I also like you, even though you haven’t said much! What’s your favorite Disney villain?”

“M-maleficient.” The Spiderling said in a hoarse whisper.

“Ooh, sick. I like Ursula because she has two pet eels and when I--we--Thomas grows up, I think we should totally get two pet moray eels and we can feed people we don’t like to them--”

“That’s very nice and you can tell us that wonderful idea later,” The Snake cut in, “but what happened with Scholar and Heart?”

“Oh, alright,” A black boot stomped in mild irritation, “So you know Humpty Dumpty? He’s always depicted as an egg, but it never says that in the rhyme! It’s kinda like that. Smartypants tried putting him--me--us back together again but he got it all wrong!”

A translucent head appeared, shaking side to side in indignation. 

“Y’see, when he put the Prince back together again, he based it off of what he remembered the Prince being. All the pieces he thinks makes who me--him--the Prince is. All. The. Pieces. That. Aren’t. ME!” The fiery flash in the green eyes was the only warning the two received before the physical glimpses dissipated completely. 

“P-prince?” The Snake called out, uncharacteristically hesitant, “Are you still with us?” 

“Don’t! Don’t call me that.”

“Well, what can we call you then?” The Snake amended, withholding a sigh of relief.

“Can I...can I be called the Kraken?”

“Of course, you can be called whatever you’d like.”

An ear-splitting screech sounded in the throne room, causing the Snake to slightly regret his statement. Only slightly, because it was very clearly a joyous screech.

There was a green shimmer in the air and then within a blink, a boy. A boy who looked remarkably similar to the beloved Prince, but not quite. The green tentacles attached to his back was the most glaringly obvious difference. 

But there were more subtle ones. Half-healed scrapes and faded scars. Something the Prince would never allow to blemish his skin. A white strand of hair nestled among the boy’s auburn locks of hair. A black raggedy shirt and a pair of green pants that looked closer to a pirate’s garb than a prince’s attire. 

“I’m the Kraken! Not a stinky loser prince!” The boy whooped and with a running start, crashed into the Snake and the Spiderling. His tentacles surrounded them and the Snake was certain it’d be hard to escape their suction-cup grip anytime soon. 

He was worried that the Spiderling would panic and sink his fangs into the Kraken. Instead, the Spiderling comfortingly stroked the Kraken’s hair just like the Snake had previously done for him. 

The Snake repressed a smile at this. “Kraken, what would you like to do?”

“Cry, I think.” The Kraken responded, promptly bursting into tears. The Spiderling joined him, the poor thing, soaking in the Kraken’s fear and grief. 

“Shh, my dears, it’ll be alright,” The Snake promised, “Forget the others, the three of us can be our own little family. How does that sound?”

“S-sounds good,” The Kraken hiccuped, “Don’t know why I--we--him were so mean to you two, I’m--I’m s-s-s-sorry--”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” The Snake said, “don’t force yourself to talk, let it all out.”

The Kraken obliged, wailing as if the world had ended and all that remained was a trillion bits of space dust. Which, in a way, it felt that way for him. Have you ever been torn in two? Literally? It was an anguish that any amount of words regardless of language would fail to adequately capture.

It was a wound that wouldn’t, couldn’t, ever fully heal. There were some days, he wasn’t fully there, in mind or in body. Sometimes just a flash of needle-thin teeth. A warm breath behind your ears. A shadow in the corner of your eyes. 

But regardless of whatever remnant of him was coherent, he had a family who loved whichever remnant that was there. And for a long, long while, things were happyish. 

[mistakenvilliany]

Episode 8

Teens are on the loose! We will have adventures, we will get into mortal peril, and we can't keep secrets to save our lives! I love that we have Wei Wuxian chasing after Lan Wangji because he doesn't want to be left out of their quest, Jiang Cheng chasing after Wei Wuxian because he's sure his brother is an idiot, and then Nie Huaisang is there because he doesn't want to go home. Here we begin see that the (other 4) great clans are really behind the eight ball on this, and it's only going to get worse. Anyway, I have a surfeit of things to say, so without further adieu:

• So we go backwards a bit to have Wei Wuxian try and find Wen Ning, only to see that all traces of the Wens are gone. I like to think that strolling up to haul Wen Ning out for archery practice or other fun was just a thing that Wei Wuxian did regularly. My guess would be no since Wen Qing is there to be protective and not rock the boat with the rest of the Wens, but I think it's a fun theory anyway, so I'm gonna roll with it

• Back with bunnies, and I just want to point out here that Wei Wuxian is perfectly capable of holding an entire conversation on his own. Baby, that bunny cannot speak to you and if it could it would ask you to put it down!

• Wait, wait, wait - they really just tossed rabbits around like that for filming?!? I really hope that they did that one in one take. Please treat your rabbits with kindness!

• When Lan Wangji leaves and bids the rabbits farewell, he just looks so soft! I just want to cover him in bunnies. My guess, Wei Wuxian went back for the rabbits on his own, which of course was noticed by Lan Wangji, but he couldn't join because his brain went bluescreen at the cuteness of it.

• Wen Chao sucks

• Wen Chao is out in the rain and antagonizing Lan Xichen, just the look on Lan Xichen's face makes me believe that above and beyond the whole "your dad is trying to take over the world" thing these two have hated each other for years

• Wei Wuxian leaves in the middle of the night to chase after Lan Wangji, smart move as Lan Wangji is likely to sleep when it is dark, and WWX has some ground to cover. It's the smiley face though! Gets me every time. Just leave a note that says "I'm off to find danger! 😀" Not comforting, baby, just not comforting. Jiang Cheng clearly agrees with me

• Jiang Fengmian, what am I going to do with you? Actually, all the Sect leaders all seem to be locked up with an inability to act. Lan Xichen can do nothing to protect his brother right now, Jiang Fengmian can only acquiesce to WWX leaving and hope that things work out, Jin Guangshan is an asshat, and we haven't seen Nie Mingjue yet

• My babies are together again! And Lan Wangji, darling, please stop pretending you don't like him. I fully believe that Wei Wuxian is just talking to talk, he's offended to be left behind since he's an amazing companion in his own not so humble opinion, and literally the only thing he gets from LWJ is "how boring"

• Wen Chao sucks, but I want to know more about this bird

• The look on Lan Wangji's face when he gets hit with bonding/binding! It's 100% "bitch, you didn't!" which moves into 90% "fuck my life" and 10% "this is kinda hot"

• Yin Iron signal!! You are headed in the right direction! Okay let's be real here - does this mean that they picked a direction and decided that eventually it would work out? Because why, exactly?

• Nie Huaisang: "I know that laugh! I will pal around with my good friend Wei Wuxian instead of going home!" Sweetheart, why do you do this to your brother?

• In all honesty, I do think that WWX and NHS do see a reflection of themselves in the other. Conversation is easy, inside jokes are created on a whim, they can see how smart the other is, and their reasons for not conforming to the "I am intelligent and capable" mold

• Jiang Cheng is sneeking out of Lotus Peir via the very obvious front door. Really? That's about a subtle and sneaky as a ball through a window. Oh summer child, you have much to learn.

• I kinda can see that Jiang Cheng is worried about Wei Wuxian, after all they are brothers and Wei Wuxian's overconfidence is super obvious to Jiang Cheng, but the main reason he leaves is so that he isn't left out. There's a super cute story about a similar thing I did following my sister on a tricycle, so I get it.

• Jiang Yanli (my treasure) has now been left by both her brothers to deal with home life. Yikes!

• Back in Tanzhou, we learn that Lan Wangji does not like crowds (unsurprising), but that he will still follow Wei Wuxian (as long as he is pulled along), and that Nie Huaisang is good at remembering things. Also that Lan Wangji is the best looking man alive. The look on WWX's face when NHS says that is perfect. It's a blend of "oh, I see now, yes!" And "why are you noticing that" and "just fell more in love, thanks!"

• The poor florist lady's place is entirely ash - Wen Chao super sucks, and I still want to know more about this "Dire Owl"

• Wen Qing is really trying, both in her attempt to herd Wen Chao (who sucketh) in another direction and her subsequent "fight" with Jiang Cheng to give him a direction. I do feel bad for the innkeeper though, poor man doesn't know who to serve and ends up not serving anyone

• Sure, let's follow the terrified old woman into the creepy ghost town, surely we'll find a place to stay for the night! It even feels weird to WWX, and they still continue on! But she said "spirit snatch" so off to obviously, now we climb a mountain (that's at least a mile straight up) to investigate

• Old man "you should leave, this statue (naturally formed btw) steals souls, but if you're going to stay, you might as well stay here. Night!" Old lady - here's some kindling

• Well, we're in for a creepy night in soul snatch temple! Might as well get what sleep we can until it all goes to hell

• In the fight with the statue we have impressive displays of teamwork and bravery (and hiding: NHS) and I love that bonding/binding is useful! I've also noticed it's now a gold color. At the end of it she's back where she belongs

• Zombies are here! Sorry, I mean puppets. I know that they are about to converge on the temple, but sir, why do you have a bucket? And what is that wheel going to do? It really just looks like they are headed to make camp somewhere.

• Trapped in a temple! Those doors are not sturdy, kids. Better figure out what your going do when they fail

[yet-another-greek-myth-gay]

Since I am currently very deeply invested in Hogwarts Mystery, I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time developing my version of Jacob’s Sibling in my mind. I’m kind of proud of the character I created, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to put her out there in the character universe of Hogwarts Mystery OCs.

Now, full disclosure, I’m not an artist. I don’t have any beautiful drawings attached to give you an idea of what I’m visualizing (at least, not any I drew). More or less, this is just going to be a bunch of word vomit about the character I’m crafted, and I’ll probably go back and edit it a bunch of times as I think of more details. If it isn’t too much trouble, I’d love to hear people’s opinions of her! Thank you to anyone who reads, and I hope you like her as much as I do!

BE WARNED THAT THIS CHARACTER SHEET CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR HOGWARTS MYSTERY.

FULL NAME: Helena Winifred Bancroft.

NICKNAME: Most people call her Nellie; only her mum calls her Helena. She also occasionally gets Nel, and Jacob used to call her Pip, short for Pipsqueak. Her and Rowan also had unique nicknames for each other, with Nellie calling Rowan “smart girl” and Rowan calling Nellie “sweet girl.”

DATE OF BIRTH: March 11th. She’s a Pisces.

BLOOD STATUS: Half-blood.

FAMILY: Nellie’s family consists of her mothers, a pureblooded Auror named Juliette and a muggle school teacher named Carolyn, and her half-brother Jacob. (Juliette is mum, Carolyn is mama.) Both her and Jacob’s respective fathers were muggle men that Juliette was involved with in the past, and neither are involved in their lives. The Bancroft bloodline is matrilineal, and while not necessarily famous, prides itself on producing particularly powerful witches.

BACKGROUND: She grew up in a small coastal community, where she was an avid swimmer, frequent visitor of the beach, and overall just a total water baby. Her family was comfortable financially, but chose to live fairly humbly, and Nellie was content with that. While she occasionally played with the local muggle children, most of Nellie’s time was spent either following Jacob around like a little shadow or playing with the fairies that lived in her mama’s garden. (She spent all her time telling them how pretty they were, so they tolerated her.) Unsurprisingly, she was a bit of a loner.

HOUSE: A proud Hufflepuff, just like Jacob.

DREAM: First and foremost, to find Jacob. However, in the long term, she’d really like to own a Hippogriff sanctuary and work as a breeder (with entirely moral methods, don’t worry). They’re by far her favorite creature, and she wants to spend the rest of her life working with them.

DEEPEST SECRET: That she wonders all the time if Jacob is worth saving. Growing up, he was her best friend and her hero, and there was no one she loved more. But watching how he changed in the last year or two prior to his disappearance, and hearing some of the stories at school, she honestly wonders if the loving brother she remembers exists anymore. And if he doesn’t, is the boy he left behind someone she wants to bring back? 

She’s also been hiding a growing resentment toward her mum. While Jacob’s disappearance took a toll on them all, she sometimes feels like her mum’s put so much of her emotional energy into missing Jacob that she doesn’t have enough left to love her anymore, and she secretly hates her mum nudging her to find Jacob, even if it’s at the cost of her own happiness and safety.

...sometimes she wishes it had been Ben.

MOST TREASURED OBJECT: For years, it was her seashell locket, a gift she’d gotten from Jacob for her sixth birthday, with the little sculpture Barnaby made her for their Valentines Day date coming in at a close second. Now, it’s a spare pair of Rowan’s glasses, which Nellie had kept on hand since their first year, given how often Rowan misplaced hers.

WAND: Nellie’s first wand is ten and a half inches long, made of pear wood with a unicorn hair core. Her second, which she purchases in her fifth year, is eleven and a quarter inches, with an alder wood base and a phoenix feather core. Lastly, her third, which she gets after she graduates and keeps for the rest of her life, is ten and two thirds inches long, built from beech wood, and possesses a unicorn hair core.

PATRONUS: An African Bush Elephant.

ANIMAGUS: A Kooikerhondje dog.

BOGGART: Jacob’s corpse, shambling towards her like a zombie, sobbing about how she failed to save him.

BEST MEMORY: Jacob trying to teach her spells when he came home for his first break in his first year of Hogwarts. She would’ve only been five—they’re six years apart—so it’s a faint memory and she couldn’t do any of them anyway, but it was still happy enough to stick with her.

WORST MEMORY: The year Jacob disappeared, their mum mandated that he come home for breaks. (He’d been staying at school the past few years, but with everything that was happening, their mothers wanted to keep an eye on him.) He was on edge the entire time, bitter and aloof, and when Nellie tentatively tried to get him to play, he exploded at her about wasting his time. In that moment, his face twisted and red with rage, his tall, lanky body looming over her, Nellie didn’t recognize her brother at all, and that scared her more than anything. For the longest time, that was her worst memory.

Now, her worst memory is being in that forest grove, staring down at Rowan’s unmoving body, her gaping mouth and empty eyes. Even decades later, Nellie has dreams about it. Certainly, no memory will ever be worse than that one.

QUIDDITCH: After being trained by Skye, Nellie played as a Chaser for two seasons and a Beater for one, before retiring to a reserve chaser. There just wasn’t enough time, and she didn’t really have the competitive spirit for it. However, she remained friends with Skye, Orion, McNully, and Erika, and still enjoyed training with them to keep her skills sharp.

GREATEST STRENGTHS: Nellie is an overwhelmingly compassionate person. Her mama likes to joke that Nellie could spend all day waiting for a scoop of her favorite ice cream, and she’d still offer it to the first gloomy person she saw on the street. (Basically, if there’s a little pink heart next to a choice, that’s the one she’s making. Empathy is definitely her highest stat.) She never fails to go out of her way to help people, even if it’s to her own detriment. She just has a very warm energy, which makes it easy for people to feel safe confiding in and depending on her.

GREATEST WEAKNESS: Unfortunately, Nellie’s compassion is a bit of a double edged sword, and she can be guilty of stretching herself too far trying to please everyone and, subsequently, letting herself fall to the wayside. She’s also embarrassingly naive (a negative consequence to her desperate belief in the inherent goodness of people), and has a tendency to get a little too emotionally invested in things. She also stakes a lot of her personal value in her ability to keep others happy—if she isn’t capable of keeping those she loves safe and content, she feels she has no value at all.

APPEARANCE: In short, Nellie is about as far from intimidating as any one person can get. She never surpasses five feet tall, nor does she develop past her scrawny adolescent physique. Her face is round, with a little button nose and big ocean blue eyes. She’s covered from head to toe in freckles, and has a slight case of buck teeth with a tiny tooth gap, though nothing she considered worth getting braces over. She also has a scar on her thumb from the time her mum tried to teach her how to whittle. It didn’t go well.

However, her most defining physical characteristic is her hair. Curly and sandy blonde, she grew it long for the first fifteen years of her life, only cutting off the occasional inch to keep it healthy. It was very carefully maintained, because although Nellie doesn’t consider herself a vain girl, she loved her hair, which grew to reach her thighs at its longest. It was the only feature of hers she considered genuinely and objectively beautiful, and she prided herself on it. In the summer after her fifth year of Hogwarts, she chopped all that treasured hair off into a bob, her only reasoning being that it was more practical. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that Rakepick had grabbed her by her exceptionally long braid when she’d tried to run to Merula’s aid in the Buried Vault. 

STYLE: Nellie dresses exactly how you’d expect a stereotypical Hufflepuff to dress. She favors bright, pleasant colors, likes embroidery and floral print, and values comfort over anything. Her current favorite outfits both involve overalls, with one consisting of denim overalls with embroidered butterflies on the chest pocket and a white t-shirt, and the other being a pair of faded overalls that she personally painted with flowers, despite being an absolutely terrible artist, and a yellow turtleneck. She pretty much always wears a pair of light weight, embroidered boots, and is never seen without her seashell locket.

VOICE: I picture her sounding similar to AnnaPantsu. There’s a reason she was able to make the choir, after all! (Even if she ultimately surrendered her spot to Merula.)

BEST SUBJECT: Unsurprisingly, Care for Magical Creatures. Her kind nature and respect for all magical beings makes her a bit of a natural. She’s also proven herself to have a knack for Divination. She’s no Seer, but she’s pretty good at deciphering omens and swears that she does sometimes see visions in crystal balls. She’s also decent at Transfiguration.

WORST SUBJECT: Anyone would suck at Potions if Snape spent the entire class glowering at them the way he does at Nellie! It’s awfully hard to focus when your professor is breathing down your neck, staring dismissively into your cauldron like you’ve already made a mistake. She also just has a really poor memory, so any class that requires her to follow a sequence of meticulous steps is going to be one she struggles with. She also has difficulty in History of Magic for a similar reason—all of those dates and names just go in one ear and out the other.

BEST FRIEND(s): Rowan. Nellie loves every member of her eclectic group of friends dearly, but Rowan was her first friend, and will always, always be her dearest. For whatever reason, they just clicked perfectly, and completely got each other. Her death changed Nellie irreversibly. For at least a year after Rowan’s death, Nellie wore the spare pair of glasses she’d kept for her everywhere. Even once she stopped, they were almost always in her bag. Nellie was eventually able to manage again, but she never really moved on.

The runner up was undoubtedly Bill. He completely adopted her as (yet another) younger sibling, and they never quite lose that closeness, even when Jacob comes back into the picture. After all, Jacob can’t replicate the experiences Nellie had with Bill. While he was doing his part to protect Nellie as best he could, and that’s admirable, it wasn’t him that was by Nellie’s side throughout every trial she faced at Hogwarts. It was Bill, and Jacob would never be able to imitate the connection that gave Bill and Nellie.

In the wake of Rowan’s death, Nellie also develops a surprisingly close friendship with Erika Rath. They’d already been developing a friendship, but Rowan’s passing was the catalyst for them growing closer. During one of her training sessions with Erika (which Erika had told her she could sit out of, given the circumstances, but Nellie insisted), Rowan’s glasses fell off, and cracked. The damage was minor and entirely fixable, but Nellie had a complete breakdown, allowing herself to cry for the first time since Rowan had died. And Erika sat there with her, holding her tight, the entire time. While the rest of her friends were tiptoeing around her, not sure what she needed and scared of saying the wrong thing, uncomfortable in the face of such overwhelming grief, Erika took everything Nellie threw at her in stride. The fits where all Nellie could do was scream and cry, the anger that had her beating her fists against the ground and snarling threats brutal enough to make her sick, the guilt that left a hollow pit in her stomach and made her wish it had been her instead. Every ugly thought, every wave of emotion, Erika stuck with Nellie through them all, keeping her grounded her during a time where she felt she could completely drift away. It’s impossible to describe the sort of bond that gives people.

WORST ENEMY: For a while, it was Emily Tyler. With Merula, at least she has qualities that Nellie can respect—her ambition, her bravery, her fierce determination—and they’ve had a few moments where it feels like some genuine bonding has occurred. She may not approve of a lot of Merula’s behavior, but at least she can sort of understand her. But Emily Tyler is just so superficial and mean spirited, and Nellie simply can’t stand her. Now, though, it’s easily Patricia Rakepick.

LOVE INTEREST: Barnaby Lee, though not at first. Nellie housed an absolutely fierce crush on Skye Parkin for a while, but it quickly became apparent that Skye didn’t return her feelings. To Skye, Nellie was like the sister she never had, and Nellie didn’t want to jeopardize that. There was also some sort of tension going on between her and Merula in their fifth year, but nothing ever came of it. After the events that transpired in the Vault, Merula decided Nellie wasn’t worth the trouble. It’s one of her biggest regrets. 

Barnaby was actually crushing on Nellie long before she had any romantic feelings for him—ever since that first duel, actually, when she completely whooped his ass while apologizing after every blow. (A scene I actually explored here.) It took a little while, but Nellie eventually fell for Barnaby’s good heart and noble nature. He may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but he never fails to make her feel cared for. He can make her laugh when nobody else can, and although she’d loathe herself if he got hurt for her sake, it honestly feels a little nice to have someone trying to protect and take care of her for once, instead of the other way around. They also both love magical creatures, so a lot of their “dates” just consist of them hanging around the Care for Magical Creatures paddock and feeding whatever they find. Random little fun fact, Nellie’s pet name for Barnaby is just to say “Barnaby dear” as though it’s one word, and it never fails to make Barnaby feel super giddy.

PETS: Whoo boy, Nellie’s pets. First and foremost, there’s Astrid, her Lesser Sooty Owl. A remarkably intelligent bird, Astrid is usually found occupying the rafters above Nellie’s head, watching over her like a worrisome mother. She usually sleeps in Nellie’s dorm, rather than the owlery, and has a habit of picking at knots in Nellie’s hair (and, surprisingly, Rowan’s as well) with her beak as though she’s trying to straighten them out. 

While she adores Nellie, Astrid is notably less fond of Klepto, her mischievous Niffler. If Astrid is like Nellie’s mother, Klepto is like an obnoxious toddler, always causing trouble and fussing for her attention. He’s remarkably clingy, enough so that Nellie’s taken to hiding him in the dorm rather than keeping him in the grasslands. (She can’t help it! He throws a fit if he can’t sleep pressed against the soles of her feet!) 

Then there’s Flora, a particularly slothful fairy who has taken to riding in the pockets of Nellie’s robes, content to spend the rest of her life being carried around and lavished with compliments and sweets. Her and Astrid have a sort of tenuous truce, since they both have a bit of a fierce streak when it comes to defending Nellie. 

There’s also a Hippogriff and a Common Welsh Green on the grounds, both of which Nellie is determined to befriend, but that’s still a bit of a work in progress at the moment.

FUN FACTS:

• Nellie ends up going grey—or white, rather—fairly early. Her hair’s almost entirely white by the time she turns thirty. She’s insecure about it for a while, then decides to just embrace it. It looks elegant, and Merlin help the person who tries to tell her otherwise.

• Given how incredibly physically affectionate Nellie is and how much she adored Rowan, it’s no surprise that she almost always kissed Rowan on the top of the head when saying goodbye. Just like she did in the forest grove, chest tight with anguish but eyes painfully dry.

• Barnaby and Nellie are married by the time they’re twenty. Maybe it’s a result of almost dying young on multiple occasions, but Nellie wasn’t keen on waiting. She didn’t want to take the risk of never getting the opportunity.

• Nellie has always wanted a big family. After how fractured hers became when Jacob disappeared, that desperate desire only increased. Fortunately, Barnaby, with his tiny, miserable family, wanted to create a large, happy one just as badly.

• On that note, they end up having five daughters: Ivy (Ravenclaw), Jade (Ravenclaw), Miri (Hufflepuff), Aurora (Slytherin), and Rowan (Hufflepuff). Many were surprised Nellie waited until her last child to name one after Rowan, but the truth was, she just wasn’t ready. She’d always known she wanted to, but it always felt too soon.

• As a frequent visitor to the Burrow, Nellie grew close with all the Weasleys. She actually babysat Ron and Ginny a far bit after she graduated Hogwarts.

• Bill and Jacob never get along. Though Bill can logically understand that Jacob was trying to protect Nellie, he can never really forgive Jacob for the distress he put Nellie through. And while Jacob understands that Nellie needed support and he wasn’t there to provide it, some part of him resents that Bill stepped into his role as Nellie’s brother.

• Although they were once close as sisters, Nellie and Skye’s friendship definitely changed for the worse in their sixth year. The drama surrounding Nellie getting trained and befriended by Erika all occurred in the month leading up to Rowan’s demise. Having Skye—someone Nellie considered a close friend—be so caught up in her own grudges and jealousy that she called off their friendship in a fit of anger not even a week after Rowan had died, while Erika—a friend she had only just started to make—acted as her rock throughout the whole grieving process, really changed Nellie’s perspective on Skye. To be fair, Skye did eventually apologize, and they picked up the pieces as best they could, but things were never the same.

• While Nellie focused more on the changes her friends went through after the events in the Buried Vault, there’s no denying that she changed as well. She hardly slept her entire sixth year. She cut off all her hair, and she jumped with every loud noise. Her naivety, one of her defining traits, withered, and left only wariness behind. She went from trusting everyone, to trusting no one. Then Rowan’s death came, and she crumbled completely. For a long time after it, she couldn’t function at all.

Thank you to @treebels​, for the lovely artwork.

[sternenteile]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:  @battleshell​  ;  we all care blue, u do, i do, we all do tagging:  holy shit my whole dash because exorbitantly long memes are the BEST. i aint even sarcastic when i say that, i love this kind of shit. u GOTTA do it.

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is in two fandoms, in fact. he is both a fan-favorite from super mario rpg, the very first in the line of mario rpgs we’ve gotten over the years, and a pretty popular smash bros. request. he even got a mii costume in 4 and a spirit in ultimate as a result of the love. he’s very beloved, to the point that i’d, even as a geno fan myself, deem him a bit overrated. why? b/c where is all the love for all the other smrpg characters!!! they are all good. i love them all. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i mean ?? i’ve met and seen many people who have/had crushes on geno so ??????? but i don’t think it’s like. that. ghfskjhgsg??? ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ oh yes, he is undeniably very strong, both in personality and in battle. he is often seen as the level-headed straight man of the party in smrpg (which, in the case of my geno, is... semi-applicable LMAO), a star spirit with unwavering bravery and confidence. his in-battle stats are also pretty crazy, favoring geno as a glass cannon and enemy sweeper. he is also the only character in the game to have a move that will insta-kill any enemy besides bosses. well, and exor. idk why exor, but there ya go. needless to say, pretty much everyone in the fandom agrees that geno is a powerful mfer. why wouldn’t a literal, living star be? ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ as i mentioned before, there is no shortage of him being underrated in the fanbase. i’d even say he’s a little overrated. some people treat smrpg as ‘that game with geno in it’ rather than everything else it has going for it. i love star boye as much as the next gal, but pls appreciate smrpg as a whole. it’s such a vibrant game with a colorful world of characters to love. ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ he is actually, completely central to the plot. the subtitle of smrpg is legend of the seven stars, which directly relates to geno’s core mission: to find the seven star pieces and restore star road. the rest of the gang had different ambitions, but they all ended up banding together over geno’s objective. one could argue he mostly is the exposition-granter and could be replaced with anyone else, but i feel he’s irreplaceable. smrpg would be so different without him, like it or not. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ i wouldn’t say he is the protagonist, obviously, as that is very much mario’s spot. that being said, he is a pretty obvious deuteragonist for smrpg, given how much the plot revolves around him. he’s relevant to mario, for sure, as well as peach, mallow, and bowser. he’s relevant to many characters beyond them. he represents the fight for everyone’s wishes to be able to come true. he’s, uh... very relevant rofl. ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ the star spirits are somewhat known in the mario universe as entities capable of granting wishes, kinda like fabled gods with a tinge more evidence and reality to them. geno himself isn’t a known name, not like the seven star spirits of star haven, but his people are decently known. he, however, is not. ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ he is basically the epitome of ‘good’ until you overthink star society like i do lol. not all wishes can be granted, what constitutes as a ‘good wish’ is subjective, why some good wishes still can’t be granted anyway, etc. it puts him more towards neutral good with a dash of lawful and an undercurrent of chaotic, given his rebellion against his superiors. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  i mean, it isn’t hard to be strict to mario canon when there isn’t that much of a foundation to work with anyway lol. it’s all rather simplistic until you get into the nitty gritty of it ??? that said, geno is built on a lot of headcanon. like, a lot a lot. star society and its rules for star spirits of his kind, his relationship with rosalina (a matronly figure), his relationship with the seven star spirits, the fleshing-out of his basic personality traits shown in smrpg, etc.? headcanon upon headcanon.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  a star possessing the form of a children’s toy, like toy story but with more cosmic pew-pew. a chill and sassy guy still learning the ways of how earth (and other planets) work on a more intimate level, meaning there will be lots of adorkable moments as this curious one makes discoveries. sometimes attempts to innovate with what he learns to be ‘ahead of the curve’, leading to interesting results. (he likes to sip bubble tea, but replace the tapioca pearls with star bits. good result. mopping a counter-top because it would be ‘more efficient’? not-so-good result, got him lots of stares.) straight outta the 90′s, so be ready some of that rad 90′s slang and know-how from back in the day. (what do u mean they’re bringing back dunkaroos? that’d mean they stOPPED MAKING THEM?!?) very intrigued with new technology, became stuck to his smartphone upon discovering them, fell into the time-sink that is animal videos on youtube. he’s humble and likes to relax, have a good time, and relax w/ the squad. video games, netflix binges, the whole nine yards, he’s gotchu. he is a hell of a fighter and loves to fight, as well. help him push his abilities, and he’ll help you with yours.  likes being a little shit for fun, only to an extent (harmless moments of impishness, not serious, hurtful pranks). has a sense of humor that is easy to tickle, even with stupid dad jokes and classic puns. the brother-friend that will fire lasers at ur enemies for u. likes to play violin. cute. super cutie. v. tiny in his star form. almost five whole feet of sparkly, twinkly fun. likes super soakers.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  despite intrigue to learn more about the world around him, there is only so much that he does know. societal norms are often beyond him, and there are just so, so many earth hobbies he is not aware of. without handing him a bone, it makes him a little more limited than someone who’s more savvy. he is prime slice-of-life material, but that may also make things rather dull in an rp without an extra twist to spice things up. (thankfully, his being a total SNOT sometimes helps with that.) in canon and strictly in canon, geno doesn’t really have much personality, something that this geno has plenty more fleshed out. a good chunk of fandom finds him to be incredibly boring and droll, to which i personally disagree, as there are little things in smrpg that hint towards him having more to explore.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  funnily enough, seeing smash bros. fandom railing on geno fans + hyping him up all at the same time made me revisit smrpg after having only played it as a teenager. i expected geno to be a boring slate of nothing like fandom often portrays him, but i found that i was terribly wrong. with a newfound perspective on him, noting little details that defied my expectations for this li’l guy, i decided to give him a geno whirl and see what kind of expansion i could do with his character. the amount of lore i came up with him and started wondering about piled on and on and on, and i realized that he had so much more potential than what nintendo and square properly tapped into. (some of it is also a matter of being timely, though, meaning later mario materials such as rosalina, star haven, etc.) i wanted to flex out that potential and see how much i could fill this little doll up with, and lo and behold, i rp him today with extensive amounts of development poured into him with love. to put it simply, there was so much untapped potential that i wanted to share with the world, to show geno the love and in-depth exploration that he deserved, to show that he was more than what he was given.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  chattering about mario lore with pals, whether it relates to geno or not, reading, watching shows or videos that remind me of him, learning more about cosmology and the universe we live in (and boy, i’ve learned a lot of neat stuff!), revisiting my childhood (the 90′s) since it’s very geno-appropriate, drawing The Boye, literally anything to do with playing, watching, or doing ANYTHING with smrpg/paper mario 64/smg1&2, and probs a lot more. i’ve got a lot of fuel in me for this guy lol.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ on one hand, of course i hope that i do! on the other hand, i mean... nintendo and square don’t do jack for him, so i think almost anyone can do him more justice than they have, lbr. it’s... not hard... :’) ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ ok i gotta just copy-paste what blue said in her response because my god, she nailed it: “you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea.” basically, this but in spades, because i have a huge amount of headcanon and lore that i’ve either not gotten around to writing about yet or am purposefully staving off (wink wink). i have written a lot for him, though! it’s just... comparatively so little to what all i’ve thought up over-time. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ not! often! enough!!! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ all i know is fine dining, breathing, and adorkable starman. ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ funny enough, i’m pretty damn confident in my portrayal, albeit still very modest. i mean, i am at least confident that i give depth to a character that had so little, and i feel like geno is just... real. (not literally ofc i mean like, he FEELS realistic.) he’s got character perks, character flaws, strengths, weaknesses, personal issues, ongoing obstacles, relatable themes where appropriate, interests, knowledge (or lack thereof), daily routines... i could go on. if nothing else, i at least feel good about trying to make geno feel less like some exposition character and more like a person. considering he wants to achieve personhood that most of his kind never gets to find, it’s oddly poetic lmao. ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ eehhhhh. i mean, i guess it’s fiiiIIINE, but i often feel like i lack a certain pizzazz, something that’ll keep people interested and intrigued with what i write, giving enough material for them to adequately bounce back. on the same token, i like to babble with my prose, so i often worry about going on and on and on way too much. stale, quantity over quality, substance-less writing is what i fuss over the most. ;; ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ sensitive to empathy and other peoples’ emotions, yes. i’m an insanely empathetic person, and i have a lot of love to give. that said, with only few exceptions, i have a pretty iron-clad skin. sometimes, i daresay it’s to the point that i often misjudge what other people can take, and i feel i can end up being too harsh and forward. that being said, it is also a good thing at times. harsh or not, if i feel a certain way about something, i make that shit known and i make it known as loud as it necessarily should be. i don’t beat around the bush; rather, if i have a beef, i will make that beef known. consequently, if i have love to give, you damn well better be ready to swim in a pool of hearts and your favorite kind of cookie (if applicable). ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  as long as it isn’t complaints with lack of substance/reasoning, yes! even if i may not always agree and may take things with a grain of salt, i am insanely receptive to criticism, even over the pickiest things. it’s something i’ve grown used to due to prior rp venues being particularly harsh. i will never throw a fit or act like a child if there is something i could do better with geno. in fact, there always will be! i’m not perfect, and i love to hear about ways i can improve and do better. it’s paramount in a hobby like this.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  LET’S-A FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure, i’d love to know! it can make for some neat conversation!! c:

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  that’s a’ight. i’m sure there are things about my geno that won’t resonate with everyone, especially given he’s a very sentimental character for old fogies like me lol. as long as there is no disrespect thrown this way, it’s all good. this stuff is subjective, after all.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  oh, a lot of people really hate geno lol, but i’m guessing this means personal portrayal only. in such a case, i would be curious as to why, admittedly, but i acknowledge that i am not owed anyone’s reasoning. if they really, absolutely hate my geno, then it’s their prerogative, whether they want to give a reason why or not. again, it’s all good unless immaturity and disrespect rears its head. i won’t tolerate that and will ignore any such behavior.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, it happens to the best of us!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  i’d like to think that i am! i’ve often had people tell me that i’m very nice and mature, but of course, i have no right to say how i come off to other people. that is not in my territory to judge, only theirs. that being said, it’s not easy to upset me or anger me, and i’m more often willing to listen and pal around than not. i’m the living embodiment of (shrug). i am just (shrug).

[cheermeupthankyou]

Brie Larson vs. The World: A Letter for Humanity

So I’d like to share and say hmmm in terms of adoration mm yeah Chris Evans what a husband material hubba hubba Chris Hemsworth funny dude even Taika Waititi oh Jodie Comer- in lesbians for her Armie Hammer Jake Gyllenhaal oofers eye candy Margaret Qualley mah babies Mackenzie Davis Wynonna Ryder and Kristen Stewart of course all them Marvel girls from A for Angelina Jolie Blanchett Danai Debicki Saldana Evangeline Karen Scarlett etc etc etc to Z for Zendaya Star Wars gang Daisy Felicity Oscar Lupita um yes please all the heroines we love Gal Gadot Amber Heard les cheveux roux madmoiselles Chastain Amy Adams the veterans Patricia Clarke Bullock Paulson Weaver Gillian Anderson Moore Lawless Mirren what goddesses they are even the young’uns newcomers Diana Silvers Billie Lourd Hunter Schafer such gems Thrones crew Gwendoline Emilia Lena Kit Sophie Maisie err pretty much everyone of them yes even the Night King give me the shivurs Aubrey Plaza Anna Kendrick Sarah Carter yas yas yas even some voice actors Ashly Burch Elizabeth Maxwell Hannah Telle j’adore Fab Five queers heck even politicians like AOC or Kamala Harris or Brian Sims gets me giddy wonderful wonderful insanely talented amazing great people.

But 

then 

there’s

Brie Larson. 

I was a music photographer and journalist for a while, I interviewed people and got the chance to meet some renowned humans (Feist, Au Revoir Simone, Kina Grannis, YYYs, Sean Lennon to name a few) it was my job to recognise their backgrounds and learn people’s personalities and identify situations.

While there are so much amazing people that I mentioned above who has done so many great things, I have never seen someone MOST relatable like Brie, so  humble and hardworking in the harsh -no privacy- industry of entertainment, who just bases her life out of goodness and excitement of life and purity. She’s like most of us, she’s awkward and shy, loves pets, video games, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Sailor Moon, fan girls towards other celebs, music nerd and an actual nerd, and just loving life in general. 

So it does break my heart that people are targeting her as the subject of everything that’s negative just because she wanted to set a stigma that women can be powerful and is their own person, and she’s had it rough before (as I read/listened/watched her interviews) Here’s a narrowed down of her life:

- Her parents were constantly fighting when she was young, leaving her into a broken home, around 7 years old she moved to LA living in a studio apartment with her mom and sister with the 3 of them with only 1 murphy bed. She’s estranged with her dad until now.

- She’s definitely an introvert, type of girl who sits on the far upper left or right corner in the theatre thinking that she doesn’t block anyone’s view (she actually said this on an interview), had social anxiety attacks since she was young but she knows she loves acting and wants to entertain people, starting with singing in her early years. She prefers doing stuffs alone and creating arts just to keep her mind at ease.

- Because of her passion in acting and her social condition, she was home schooled and focused in acting schools more, thankfully her mother supported her to go to acting schools and just going on auditions. Her singing career didn’t go as much as she hoped, to make ends meet she started DJ-ing just to earn money. Keep in mind Brie did not come from a prestige family with access to Hollywood unlike some of her Marvel co-stars. She started from zero.

- She actually auditioned for Twilight and was told, “Don’t ever bring Brie Larson back here again” for whatever reason. Was also told she wasn’t “sexy enough” for some stuffs she auditioned.

- Even though she loves acting, knowing she’s an introvert, it is the only reason why Brie has never considered blockbuster movies because she was afraid of getting recognised worldwide that it would leave her having no privacy at life at all. Due to this, she accepted mostly indie movies (Most recognisably Short Term 12 or The Glass Castle) but even by doing indie movies she didn’t earn enough money that sometimes she would cry in her kitchen telling her mom that she doesn’t have any money just to buy food. 

- She did the movie Room which won her first Oscar for best actress, but in the process in doing so it broke her in half because of her childhood past and trauma. Whilst doing The Glass Castle she also said it was rather personal that she played a character with a broken relationship with a father (Played by Woody Harrelson) is because she never had father-daughter relationship. All the stuffs she did were mostly personal because she felt connected to them. Even Captain Marvel, because she felt that it was a moment in her life where she needs the change to be stronger for herself and Carol has changed her for that.

- Her road into becoming Captain Marvel was almost like a brick to brick road built up for her, as she has acted in movies with most of the Marvel casts. In 13 Going On 30 with Mark Ruffalo, with Chris Evans in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Scarlett Johansson in Don Jon, Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson in Kong: Skull Island and Joe and Anthony Russo in Community. A few reasons she accepted the role of Captain Marvel;  One being when she saw Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman, she admitted that even as the movie was just about a few minutes in, she couldn’t stop crying and she asks herself as to why that is, and she realised that this is the stuff I need, we don’t have this enough, where a powerful strong woman was depicted on screen; The other, for the most realistic reason that she did need the money while she was given the opportunity;  The SIMPLEST reason is just to MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY that the character is going to be brought to life; The MOST important of them all is that she wants to break the barrier of herself. She wants to be more out there, spreading positivity and setting an example to people to be stronger for themselves, that people can change for the better, in which in this case: Brie was a completely non athletic person with asthma, she trained for 9 months, almost 3-5 hours a day for 5 days a week at the gym with constant crying because of her hard work and changes to herself, vomited mostly at the gym and also puked during her pilot training. She had bruises all over the place because she did most of her stunts and training (Per her saying, it was ignorance at first because she thought everyone on Marvel was doing their own stunts when they’re not, but she did most of them herself that she was allowed to). 

- Now that she has recognition, she’s actually doing more activism and be a spokeswoman into helping people. She even promotes people’s brand and stuffs via her Instagram just to help out simple things. 

Please remember, she’s human. She has flaws, but I have never seen her doing/saying anything fatal that depicts resent. Never. And no, Brie is not the first female ever trying to set examples for people, but she is the current one getting the most hate for it just because of Captain Marvel— a film about a female superhero, setting an example for people to be stronger, she did it just to make people happy and half the world is angry at her. WTF. Believe it or not, this is girl actually CARES about people, she would care about you if you actually DO CARE about all the good things that does matter. Being of who she is, Brie is capable of empathising with people, which is something most people don’t have.

Brie wanted to be a better person, SHE DID. When in fact Brie has successfully done that, now people are hating her even more because she’s just a “bigger easier target” because of her role and apparently it is easier to hate someone else than just to be nice or appreciative or grateful in general. 

If you’re reading and you’re hating, can I just ask, what has Brie Larson done to your life? And maybe ask yourself what have you done that matters in your life? We can just be nicer to other people, it’s really not that hard to try, you know. Life is just about being kind to each other, there is no point in throwing hate because it’s not your cup of tea, having an opinion to your taste is fine, but giving hate comments about is just being an asshole. Imagine being in her shoes and dealing with all those that wasn’t necessary in the first place. It does take mentality of the size of the Jupiter with that amount of hate, and Brie Larson is still dealing them. Just think if that was you, could you be able to handle it as far as what she’s gone though? Really think about it. Not one human in the world wants to be hated for even the smallest reason, not even you.

As to those who feel like they wanted a change in their lives, if Brie can do it, SO CAN YOU. Stay calm, just be nice and kind to others— even to those who treated you unjustly. Let the action speaks louder than any words will ever do. And be happy of life.

My adoration for her is at the apex at the moment. She is IT.

So I’m just here spreading the love for Brie.

[maulieber]

My thoughts on Phantom Apprentice

Warning, VERY unpopular opinions, swearing & spoilers, proceed under your own responsibility.

I think this episode’s providing us with a fucking lot of information, in a very subtle way, so this is going to be hella long.

Maul’s anxiety and frustration

First, we come to see a Maul that’s anxious, very anxious about Sidious plan. He’s like acknowledging the plan is actually going to be executed and he’s suddenly realizing the vastness of it and the implications it has. And probably, that it will affect him as well, since he’s no longer a sith apprentice and thus the order to kill the jedi will also include kill Maul.

I LOVED his pause between the Darth and the Sidious, because it shows us two things. First, he’s fucking scared of sidious and with good reason, because he’s perhaps the only one in the whole galaxy that actually knows him and knows what he is capable of doing. Second, because of the plan itself. I honestly think Maul realizes that the plan’s fucking crazy and that he must warn and actually help other force users to stop Sidious.

Ahsoka’s blindness

The problem: since he’s the baddy, no one listens to him. I liked how Ahsoka was at first like “ok, I see your point, let’s do it”, until anakin pops up in the conversation, then she’s just in denial and completely blinded about him and then she turns against Maul. this is plain stupid on her. Especially because Kenobi had already told her that Anakin had killed Dooku, thus giving her a reason to doubt of Anakin’s pure heart. 

We see Maul completely desperate to find someone to actually listen and help him, and the only one that shows up, Ahsoka, isn’t willing to help in the end. I bet Ahsoka in the end will feel very guilty because Maul was fucking right and she could’ve done something to help and she just didn’t.

Anyway. 

Recruitment speech

In my humble opinion, I don’t really think Maul was actually recruiting Ahsoka to be an apprentice. I think he was just saying ‘let’s team up’, and then we’ll see what happens.  I think this is clear in the fact that he says “the padawan needs a lesson”. He called her a padawan, thus implying he’s not making her his apprentice, and also, calling her short-minded by putting her in her former role as a jedi padawan, when he knows she had left the order.

The syndicates

Maul tells the syndicates leaders to hide. This is very important, but we’ll get on it later.

Gar Saxon

Ok so to me Gar Saxon is by far the one that lost the most in these events. First, I think he’s really the most loyal to Maul, the way some kind of lawful-good characters are, following their leader because he ultimately thinks he’s the right one. He even customized his armor to put the horns on it, like holy shit, he admires Maul to death. 

Maul ultimately betrays him, I think it’s actually a part of his plan. Probably Saxon feels so betrayed it makes him join the Empire in return, instead of fighting for Maul’s followers. Remember Saxon’s the Empire’s puppet after this events until he gets killed in Rebels.

Rook Kast

Well everyone knows Rook’s a favourite of mine. I think she’s an interesting character and probably much closer to Maul than anyone. With this I’m not implying there’s any kind of romantic involvement (i’d love to, though), but anyway I think she’s his right hand and the only one Maul trusts enough to share his complete plan with. 

Also I believe she’s the one waiting for him at the ship, so you know. She already saved him one in Son of Dathomir (also, did you notice there was a reference to it in the episode??) and she’s doing it again because she’s probably her bodyguard.

She is also the spokesman with the syndicates, as we see in the end of Son of Dathomir and in the previous episode, when Almec tells her to call the syndicates and put them to date.

Bo Katan

Funny, we see her complaining about the “occupying forces” in Mandalore. BITCH YOU BROUGHT THEM THERE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT. YOU ARE RUNINING MANDALORE, NOW FUCKING SWALLOW THAT.

Almec

He was obviously going to be killed. I never liked this character much, but I kind of respect him more ever since last episode when he actually fighted Bo-Katan like a fucking boss in spite of how old he is.

Maul and Kenobi

This is totally a random thought I keep having, but I kind of believe Kenobi knows Maul’s plan. My guess is that he thinks he can handle Anakin on his own, thus he sends Ahsoka to help Maul deal with Sidious? 

Also, there’s something Sam Witwer said about “something that we didn’t know happened happening”, and it hasn’t been revealed yet. I have a few theories on it but I prefer to share them in another post.

Maul’s paradigm swift

This is the really important point in the episode. Here we see Maul actually being mercyful (sparing Jesse’s life, for fuck’s sake!!!!!!!!!!!!), and actually letting bo-katan go help their soldiers occupying Mandalore. This is really something new to him. I was honestly impressed. Also, in this scene we get to see hints of Rebels Maul, I think he subtly is playing a joke on both Ahsoka and Bo-Katan in the way he speaks to them. 

Also, we see him trying to do what’s correct. It’s obvious he’s terrified of Sidious. It’s obvious he’s not happy doing this, he’s anxious and we get to see him truly desperate. But still, he keeps trying. He says his plan was to lure kenobi, since kenobi isn’t there, he tries to talk to ahsoka. He even offers her a second chance, allowing her to joing him and escape with him in his ship. 

Honestly, perhaps he hopes that, after killing Sidious, he’d try to have the Galaxy under his ruling, but i don’t think it’s hinted at all, it’s just Ahsoka saying it and nothing more. He’s like WHAT THE FUCK I’M PUTTING MY LIFE IN THIS GIRL.

The ‘let me die’ line

That’s when he has the mental breakdown. I honestly don’t think he’s suicidal or that he had planned on dying in this battle at all. My thoughts are that he’s just so frustrated about his plans not working out the way he wanted, and Ahsoka don’t listening, even he warned her, even he’s trying FOR ONCE to do what’s correct. 

He’s just venting his rage and throwing a tantrum. I’m sure he’ll regain his composure in the next episode and he’ll still try to do what’s correct.

Also there’s lot of self-killing in this show (for example, the first time the Death Wath is presented), and recklessly putting one’s life on threat for the greater good (in like, every fucking episode?). This is definetely NOT a kid’s show. There is a lot of death, drama and blood here. 

****

Ok this was long and I’m sure I’m forgetting stuff.

I think this adds a lot of depth to The Twin Suns. If I’m right and Kenobi knew about his plan, no wonder Maul would feel betrayed. I hope we get more insight on this soon.

What I liked:

Maul trying to be a hero and not being so good at it, but I think it adds humanity to his character and that’s what I love.

Maul sparing Jesse’s life

Gar Saxon being so loyal

Rook Kast speaking. Anything Rook does is fine to me.

Maul being emotional and frustrated. Again, I think this adds to his character. I confess this is what I wanted to see.

What I didn’t like:

Maul betraying Saxon, in spite of him saying “die well, Mandalorian”, like acknowledging his creed and his way. 

Almec being killed. Not good.

Bo Katan. Man I hate her. I hate her so much.

I’m still not happy about how the Republic army is in Mandalore illegally and nobody complained about it. Guys, that’s plain imperialism, colonialism and fascism. You can call it the way you want, but you can’t deny the truth.

Man I can’t wait for next episode. If my theory is true I’ll fucking die. I’LL FUCKING YELL AND YOU GUYS WILL HEAR ME.

Thaks for reading. I hope you understand these are my personal thoughts and opinions and I’m not willing to receive hate mail like I did with my thoughts on last episode, so if you just don’t like what I write feel free to unfollow and block me. 

[arpmemething2]

Harry Potter starter sentences

Send one for my muse’s reaction.  Includes quotes from both the movies and books.

"Anyone can speak Troll, All you have to do is point and grunt."

"Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe."

"Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?"

"She's nutty as squirrel poo."

"I never really give up on you."

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.”

"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it."

"You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant ... but scary,"

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.”

"When in doubt, go to the library."

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

"Don't let the muggles get you down."

“Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.”

"Have a biscuit."

"Soon, we must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy."

"Even though we got a fight ahead of us, we've got one thing that they don't have.  Something worth fighting for."

"Time will not slow down when something unpleasant lies ahead."

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”

"Hearing voices no one else can hear isn’t good sign, even in the wizarding world"

"Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve."

"I am what I am an’ I’m not ashamed"

"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.”

"There are somethings you can’t share without ending up liking each other"

"Always"

"I don't need help. It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight."

"Are you that bad at kissing?"

"Working hard is important. But there is something that matters even more: Believing in Yourself"

“And now, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”

"Not my daughter, you bitch!"

"You’re the weak one. And you’ll never know love, or friendship. And I feel sorry for you."

"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."

"I am not worried,...I am with you"

"Have you gone mad?  Are you a witch or not?"

"You want fame, you have to be prepared for a long hard slog."

"There were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our own cleverness."

"For in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own."

"Can you believe our luck? Of all the trees we could've hit, he had to get one that hits back."

"The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure"

"The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick."

"There is no need to call me Sir, Professor."

"I've always wanted to use that spell!"

"Never trust anything if you can’t see where it keeps its brain"

"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"

"I think I'll just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up — it always does in the end.”

“Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.”

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live"

"What an idiot."

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”

"People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right."

“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

“It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.”

"If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals"

"We teachers are rather good at magic, you know."

"Do not pity the dead. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love"

"I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said"

"I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."

"Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery."

"Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect"

"Celebrity is as celebrity does, remember that."

"However, for those select few who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses."

"Have you any idea how much tyrants fear the people they oppress? All of them realize that, one day, amongst their many victims, there is sure to be one who rises against them and strikes back!"

"Until the very end."

"One can never have enough socks."

“The Truth.  It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”

"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends"

"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open"

"Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also"

"Curiosity is not a sin… But we should exercise caution with our curiosity… yes, indeed"

"I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I have rather lost my liking for them."

"There is no good or evil; only power and those too weak to seek it "

"Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!"

"It's not our abilities that make us who we are, it's our choices."

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?"

“But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

"It is a curious thing, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

"Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.”

"I mean, it's sort of exciting, isn't it, breaking the rules?"

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed — or worse, expelled.”

[alamanyar]

Late to the party, but here comes my analysis considering the latest Skam Italia clips if anyone is interested (spoiler: it’s quite long- I tend to ramble a lot):

Eleonora is a walking contradiction. I needed some time to realize it, because her behaviour has had me confused. She also reminded me of myself in some moments, and it was as if I were looking into a mirror and, well, I didn't really like that.

That being said, one of Ele’s main struggles is letting go of acting superior. She's shown this behaviour mostly towards Edoardo. The one who's lately been challenging her the most and the one she lashes out at the most. It's a mechanism she uses to protect herself. [If I hurt you first, you won’t get to hurt me]. ⇾  This is obviously an irrational mindset, but it is somehow protecting her. It’s the same with always saying “I’m good” when she’s not, and isolating herself so she doesn’t have to talk to others about it, when in fact, talking to others, especially loved ones, takes a lot of the weight off one’s shoulders and it gives one strength. It anchors a character, no? It sure brings me back to one Dr. Spera from season two. [”Do you have friends, Martino?” “Of course I do.”] You see, Martino and Eleonora are quite similar here, aren't they? They don’t talk to their friends until late, because they try to fight their own battles. And I think with Eleonora it‘s even more of a case of “This is the only way I know how to fight.”

At the Easter party, Sana mentions her absences. I thought it was very interesting that they made her say this, and I believe it holds the following meaning: Eleonora, to me at least, hasn't really felt like a main character (yet), or let's say, she's a main character that is more quiet compared to others. It frustrates me a bit, because I feel as if she is stagnating. Which also reminds me of myself, and sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab her and shake her. But she has to grow on her own, of course. And no other character can make her grow, unless she wants to. I think Edoardo pushes her to an extinct that makes her want to take back some steps eventually, even though their interaction has made her come out of her shell. He scares her, because he’s been trying to woo her for over a year and now she’s seen aspects of him that made her change her mind about him. She sure is falling hard for him, and I believe a part of her is trying to refuse to accept her feelings. She’s careful. Not only because of her past, but because I think she’s created an image of herself that she feels like she has to obtain. Eleonora Sava - feminist, strong headed and with high morals - wouldn’t go out with someone like Edoardo Incanti, would she? She mostly seizes the fight at the end of the Easter clip as a pretence to step away from their relationship. It’s an “easy out.” It also is a way of protecting herself from speaking to Silvia. She’s been dragging this out and now she doesn’t have to talk to her about Edoardo anymore, right? Because it was only a phase and she’s back to despising people like him.

Now, her absences are logical. She has dealt with a lonely childhood, she's never really felt cared for. Her mother - really good call to make her appear on the show for the clip showed us how much Ele wants to be seen by her even though I think she knows that she won't get the attention she longs for - seems to be a progressing woman, but not really a mother Ele needs (at least not in these moments) since she’s sensitive and insecure. Her eating disorder is still something she struggles with- whether it's because she's still not there eating regularly or if it's because she hasn't completely dealt with it. I got the impression that it is still haunting her. She is ashamed when her mother asks her if she's been eating and the reminder is making her feel extremely small in that moment. And so she claims that she's been eating with a smile, but that smile doesn't reach her eyes. She's hurt when her mother says her aunts are coming to the dinner as well. Eleonora was looking forward to spending time alone with her. But she doesn't say anything. She's not the girl she tells the other girls to be (confident, headstrong)- she agrees to spending time with her mom together with others. It's better than no time with her at all. So she thinks. Her mother probably thinks she raised an independent young woman (to an extinct that's true). But Eleonora is still a child. It will be interesting to see if she’ll try and stop getting her mother’s attention. I think she should, it’s not healthy. I also think she should call out her mother, even though it shouldn’t be her, her mother should be the one checking with her regularly so that Eleonora doesn’t feel the need to seek her attention. Her mother should see her, it’s you know, her job. Then again, I know a lot of people who assume everything’s alright with someone, if said someone doesn’t say otherwise. Maybe that’s also a way of protecting oneself. “If I don’t dig deeper, I won’t find anything to worry about.” I hope that whatever she choses to do about their relationship or whatever happens between them, it will benefit her.

Eleonora has told Eva things like "You don't need his permission to talk to him." x "You don't have to wait for him to ask him out, you can ask him out instead." That's interesting, because she's telling Eva what she would like to do, but feels not able to do, and I believe it’s something she has not really done in the past. But it certainly makes her look like someone who does these things. That doesn’t mean Eleonora isn’t a confident young woman, we’ve seen her acting self-assured a couple of times. I feel like she’s wearing a mask though. Her confidence is a distraction. People won’t see her vulnerability if she keeps the mask on, and if no one detects her vulnerability, no one will hurt her. She can be confident around her friends, she defended them fiercely- but when has she really been confident for her sake? In her case, being confident means to open up and let people see what’s behind the mask. Being confident is also about showing one’s vulnerability and this is something she’ll have to learn in her season.

With Edoardo it's this push and pull, but he's the one who's been pushing more. Waiting for her to come to him, speak to him etc. In the car scene, she finally felt like she could open up. It wasn't really his fault that she couldn't to this point, it were bad experiences that made her closed off. But when she did open up, he heard her. Her relief was palpable. Being heard and cared for is one of the greatest feelings in the world in my humble opinion, and I’ve seen how thankful Ele was for Edoardo’s care in that moment- it was written on her face; very clearly.

But now we're back to square one. Why's that? Because Edoardo crashed a chair on someone’s back? No.That's mostly been an excuse.

Eleonora walked away from the fight, because Edoardo throwing the chair was the icing on the cake. She’s known he has been violent, but she’s more or less made fun of it. When his phones buzzes in the sleep-over clip “Oh, you need to beat up people again?” But now she’s seen it with her own eyes. A fight is always scary, especially when throwing fists and objects are involved, and maybe I didn’t quite understand her walking away from it. Was it really because of the violence? Hasn’t she noticed he was acting in self-defence? Does it not matter to her? I’m trying to put myself into the situation, which is really hard to do, but I think I would have wanted to stay with my friends. Maybe I don’t quite understand her behaviour, because it’s a little less common. ? Overall, I feel it’s easy to judge a character’s behaviour on a show, maybe too easily, and the audience jumps to conclusions too easily sometimes as well. And if we, the audience, didn’t go through something similar, who are we to judge?

Her own brother is gay, so my question is: shouldn’t Eleonora be glad that someone defended Martino, who’s also gay, even if violence played a part? (violence that was not initiated by Edoardo). I’m sure Eleonora and Filo talked plenty about what it means to be gay in a society they are living in, so I still struggle with her behaviour. I don’t really blame her - we react differently to things all the time - and maybe her choice to walk away has been a melody of “Ok maybe he didn't start the fight, but he's capable of this sort of violence and I condemn that" x "I'm disappointed he chooses to act this way (-even if it was in self-defence ?)" x "This is scaring me, I can't keep watching." The clip that followed afterwards was the one with her mom and I believe it influenced her behaviour during the fight clip with Edoardo. The talk with her mother and the day she spent with her (I assume), made her go back to feeling insecure about herself. Why would her mother not listen to her (cry for help)? Why can't her mother see her troubles? And that she needs (motherly) love?  Why is she not good enough? And maybe spending time with her mother made her think that’s it’s better to move forward. Progressing, right?

Funny though, how she accused Edoardo for not calling the police in a heated moment like this. Could one of them have called the police before jumping into the fight? Hm, unrealistic, not only for teenagers, but adults I say. They didn't know it would end up like that? And their focus was on helping the other boys. Knowing it were those Piazza guys was just a bonus to get going imho. And why didn't the girls nor Eleonora herself call the police? Because they were frozen in that moment? Then, with all due respect, she shouldn't ask something of someone she didn't do either. In conclusion, she was asking an irrational question. Of course the Villa boys had beef with those guys from Piazza Giouchi before, and Elia probably said it were them attacking them. Edoardo defended Martino and Giovanni (he had before, too), but he and his boys also killed two birds with one stone that night. Anyway. That argument of hers was kinda stupid, but also realistic. Because it was stupid, you know?

Both of them said dumb things during that fight. Edoardo put words into her mouth before she even spoke, because he was frustrated she had ghosted him and she hadn't said anything to that point either. I get him. Ele was showing passive-aggressive behaviour (she was silent and she avoided eye contact - and not for the first time - and in this case, it triggered Edoardo). It's hard to deal with, I know that, because I tend to do that myself. So she obviously was upset not only because of the fight, but also because he tried to put words into her mouth. (And she probably still had the conversation with her mother in mind. A conversation that made her feel small and not heard. She didn’t lash out at her mother. She lashed out at him. Not only because of what happened at the Easter party). I also think Edoardo has never been with someone like Eleonora. I mean, at first he still uses his soft voice with her and tells her that there’s been enough silence, and then he tells her how their conversation will go. He still uses his soft voice, but when Eleonora says she doesn’t want to fight, he says she does, and his voice loses the softness. He’s not wrong though, Ele seems to do that, especially with him. She fights with him about serious matters, but also in a playful way. So Edoardo tells her how the fight will go, because that’s probably how he’s been having arguments in the past, and, because a part of him knows that she tends to pick fights. His reasoning is pretty silly though- “I’ve told you to stay outside.” I mean.

Edoardo was right to call her out on her judgment. Maybe it wasn't the right time nor the right moment, but then again- do those things exist? And let's not forget that Skam is about miscommunication and that all the mains go through these struggles of misunderstanding things and people. Eleonora was definitely pushed into corner, because, how dare he tell her that? She's always right, isn't she? And then she does the next stupid thing and brings his family into the picture which obviously triggers him and he calls it a day. He's done trying to make her understand his motives. She won't listen anyway, won't she. He closes himself off and gives her the bad boy attitude. He doesn't wait for a response. She's made up her mind about it (and him) anyway. The symbolism in this clip is wonderful, as painful as it is. They are both going back to their darkest character traits - almost as if they are seeking shelter there. They are going separate ways and the door between them is closed again (it was never really open anyhow). This time, Eleonora has to make a move. She needs to decide whether she wants to push down the handle or not. (When she does that, she’ll literally let light into their relationship). It was a good fight scene. Realistic, because in a heated argument people tend to be illogical and sometimes people say stuff they don't mean etc.

So, Eleonora hasn't felt like a main yet (to me), because most of the time she's sort of absent. When she's hanging out with the girls, she’s the one who talks the less. When she's been with the girls and the boys, the others talk more than her. Even with Eva, the one she's closest with, it's Eva who leads the conversation. With Filo it's more balanced, but he's her brother. And with Edoardo - even though she opened up to him - I feel like he's the one talking more. At least he initiated most of their conversations/texts so far. Eleonora chooses not to give away too much, but I also think she’s used to people leaving her out of conversations. Hence her quietness. Hence her passive-aggression.

I personally don't care too much about the social media updates (I think the show also works perfectly fine without it. Those updates are a bonus in my eyes. A bonus I enjoy mostly, but it's not quite necessary to follow the story you know?), but I got the feeling that the lack of social media content or let's say at least the less usage of social media updates compared to other seasons/remakes mirrors Eleonora or at least her state of mind. (Eva and Martino were more active in their group chat than her so far, no? Martino, out of all people, canyoubelieve.meme). Eleonora isolates herself when she's not feeling well. She tries to deal with her troubles by herself. That's what she has learned anyway, hasn't she? She deals with stuff alone and I find that very upsetting, because she shouldn't, but her parents failed in that aspect and I assume in a lot of more aspects, too. That's why she is closed off. If I don't let someone in, they won't hurt me, right? But it's also what she craves the most. Ele wants someone with whom she can share anything. She's a walking contradiction. I think she's not quite there knowing that, but she'll get there, and when she accepts her flaws, she'll think lesser of those she tries to paint in black and white. (last clip symbolism once again). She'll realize that there are people left on this earth who won't exploit her. People who care deeply about her. She'll open up and she’ll be vulnerable and that's when she'll be able to grow.

I also think her not reaching out to the girls or the boys after the fight is because 1) she's been isolating herself and 2) the guilt over what happened and maybe walking away from the fight made her ashamed to reach out and 3)  maybe we were denied a phone call between Eleonora and x. Who knows. And maybe she got texts, but never answered them.

And because I don’t know where else to put it: the season isn’t over yet and I will wait until it’s done to judge their choice of the homophobia subplot as a whole, which I think is not merely used to create drama or serve as dramatic device of a heterosexual relationship’s portrayal, because, you know, the season isn’t over yet and because I think it makes sense if I look back at the hints of homophobia we got in Marti’s season. [”They’ll make fun of me in school.”] That obviously happened in season two already, [”Maybe they’ll beat me up.”] Well, we sadly got that in season three. [”But at least that’s me.”] We’ve seen Marti in season three here and there, and he’s been nothing but himself. Happy with who he is and happily in love with a boy. And no one is gonna take that away from him, no homophobes and certainly not a society that thinks ill of queer people. It’s already a lot on him to be careful in public, because he shouldn’t feel the need to do that. And yet he does, because he perfectly knows what kind of society he’s a part of. And just because we haven’t seen how he’s been after the fight clip, I wouldn’t call it a bad choice to go with this story line yet. 1) it’s a perfect continuation of what’s been hinting at in season two, 2) we all know Marti has like the best support system we could want for him and they are taking care of him, of absolutely fucking course. I’m thinking that we actually don’t have to see how he is, because we know he has people to lean on and that he’s done hiding and would rather put up with getting beaten up than being someone he’s not, it’s just that we want to see him, 3) there are other subplots which are taking away screen-time away form Ele, too (that’s been an argument) [trying to pair up Silvia with a boy; for instance], 4) why would they create this homophobia subplot (besides it being realistic) and not give us a satisfactory resolve? Read resolve as in how’s Martino dealing with it? and 5) Skam is about realism, so why isn’t this homophobia subplot realistic, too? Because most of us want it to be addressed more profoundly, and well, not used as a subplot? Skam Italia is a remake (the og never had a homophobia plot, we “only” saw a snippet of it in season four), and because of the season’s switch, we have Martino out in season two already and he’s now happily in love with Nico. It makes sense to me that they’re doing this, and I also doubt we’ll get more than four seasons, let alone another boy season, so why not address this now? Doesn’t it get people talking? Don’t some people get educated through this?

{I think everyone who loved season two is worried about Martino and the boys, I know I am, and yeah I’d like to see an update on him, and because I think we will, I’ll wait. I understand some people’s frustration though and I wouldn’t mind ten more season through Marti’s eyes or another boy season, but I have to say that, as of right now, I like that they chose to tackle this topic in Ele’s season. It’s heavy, yeah, but it’s important. It’s a continuation of the realism Marti hinted at at the end of his season. It’s consistent writing and not done for dramatic affects. For now I choose to keep trusting the writers. Marti’s season has been handled with care (Eva’s too, but that’s not the point here obviously) and I think Skam Italia excels in their character’s portrayals and their dynamics. Personally, I’m a fan of not getting an explanation to everything. Marti’s character is well thought out and Fede portrayed his nuances so well and despite all the heartbreak and tears, he’s strong, and as I said, he has an amazing support system. We’re probably not getting much of the aftermath of the fight considering Martino and the boys, especially with the hiatus rolling, and well, we’re in Ele’s season anyway, but at some point, the camera will land on Marti’s face again and I’m sure we’ll see him being happy- with his friends and with Nico.}.

Maybe we’ll get a talk between the Sava siblings withFilo reminding Ele that if it had been him in that fight, she wouldn’t have judged so hard that Edoardo crashed a chair on someone’s back and that she actually just used this as an excuse in order to criticise him again. I doubt it though. We’ll probably get a line from Ele (sort of as an excuse) “I used to think I knew everything better than others” x “I’ve misjudged a lot in the past” etc and it will mirror Marti’s “I used to talk a lot of nonsense.”

I’ve been missing Filo and yet I think they are kinda ghosting him, because it underlines Ele feeling left alone. [”He’s gone for the holidays.”] Well, of course, that’s Filo, he leaves when he pleases and he leaves me alone and I have to do everything on my own. No one cares. And when we’ll finally get a scene with him taking care of her, she’ll realize that she hasn’t given him enough credit and I imagine he’ll say something among the lines “I’m here for you always” x “We’ll get through this” and she’ll be reminded that they have been in this fight together all along. Maybe this will give her courage to ask for help more often when her season is coming to an end and I hope she’ll do just that in the years to come. It’s one of the things she has to learn that’s for sure.

Oh, and by the way, I thought it was an interesting choice that they showed us Ele with those dead plants in the clip with her mother. It either means she's going to let things die - trying to get her mother's attention/putting so much value into it and getting rid of her high morals and her black and white thinking in some cases - or it means she'll find the right tools to not let things die or you know, people, as in her relationship with Edoardo. ⇾ Sometimes it is worth fighting for people/things even when things look bad.

To end this, those plants were orchids. (I’m 99,9% sure). And those don't belong on the balcony. They belong in darker and more cool rooms. Exposing them to the sun is the easiest way to kill them beside watering them too often (once a week or every two weeks is enough). It baffles me that she doesn’t know this, because orchids are quite popular, especially because they are easy to tend to. Maybe it’s coincidental that those plants were orchids or I’m seeing symbolism everywhere lol But perhaps they chose Ele tending to those plants in the wrong way, because it’s supposed to mirror her approaching subjects and people in the wrong way.

Anyway, those orchids didn’t look dead to me, they just were planted on the wrong spot. Change that and water them correctly and they should recover. And whether those plants hold a metaphor or not, this is exactly what Ele has to do, if she wants to feel better. She needs to stop dealing with everything on her own and she needs to accept that she isn’t right all the time and that she misjudges people as everybody else does and that that isn’t necessarily a failure, but an opportunity to grow. It’s perfectly fine to change one’s mind. And confiding into someone isn’t a sign of weakness either. Admitting to being weak is actually a sign of strength.

Eleonora is a strong young woman, and yet she’s incredibly vulnerable, too. I believe she’ll be even stronger if she has got things straightened out with herself. If she chooses to show her vulnerability (dark to light), people will see her for who she really is, and I believe this will be liberating for her and make her even stronger than before. It will steady her. And if you like it more empurpled: if she lets go of hiding her vulnerability, that’s when she will blossom.

[jackiestarsister]

My thoughts on “The Rise of Skywalker”

I just saw The Rise of Skywalker with my friend @ewoking-on-sunshine. I’m still processing it, but I have many thoughts. Spoilers below the cut.

It’s not a perfect movie. But I enjoyed it and am, for the most part, satisfied. All I wanted was for it to be enjoyable and make sense and bring some resolution to the story. I think it succeeded overall.

I feel like I can’t complain too much, because the biggest things I wanted to happen did happen: we got Ben’s redemption, a freaking Reylo kiss, and Ben smiling. We even got beautiful things I wasn’t expecting, like Han’s scene, and the revelation that Leia trained as a Jedi for a time. I think it can stand on its own as a story in itself, though The Last Jedi may remain my favorite installment as far as story craft.

Here are my miscellaneous thoughts and opinions:

~ Much of it feels like fan fiction. Whether that is good or bad, I’m not sure. It could just be that the fans were particularly good at predicting possible developments and the general direction of the story.

~ Nothing was revealed about Kylo’s style/method of governing, or whether he did anything to expand the First Order’s power as Rey predicted they would do in TLJ

~ Palpatine’s return could have been set up better

~ The symbolism and significance of Kylo killing his abuser is changed, if not completely ruined, since Snoke was Palpatine’s puppet, and Kylo seems to enter Palpatine’s service after learning that he was the one who manipulated him throughout his life. Maybe Kylo thought if he refused he wouldn’t be able to get away alive?

~ Palpatine’s plans are as confusing as ever. Just how much he controlled, what he was aware of, and what his true intentions were is unclear. In particular,  I’m confused about the fact that Palpatine made Snoke, who seemed ignorant of Rey’s origins and told Kylo to kill her, and the fact that Palpatine told Kylo to kill Rey when it turned out he wanted her to come and kill him. Were Snoke and/or Palpatine using reverse psychology in giving Kylo those orders?

~ Palpatine probably had the means to prolong and/or restore Padme’s life the whole time Vader was trying to find a way to do so

~  It is unclear whether Rey ever told anyone about her bond with Kylo or how he killed Snoke (which is pretty relevant information for the Resistance).

~  It’s unclear whether Rey and Kyko have seen or felt each other through the Force at all in the past year. Each movie shows several Force bond connections in a short period of time (one or two days each), and that would add up to a lot in a year, so I’m guessing they didn’t have any for that interim. It seems that although Rey closed the door, Kylo opens it. I don’t really like what that implies.

~ The beginning revealed so much and moved from one set of characters to another so quickly that I wondered whether the story was going to continue following the hero/heroine’s journey(s). Eventually it did, but it felt like the strangest beginning for a Star Wars movie, especially compared to the brilliant opening sequence of The Force Awakens.

~ Rey and Poe’s bickering was fun to watch

~ They did pretty well using those bits of Carrie Fisher footage and making Leia’s death play a role in the story. I’m sure if Fisher were still alive they would have had more justice for Leia.

~ I wish Rose had played a bigger part in the story, and that her relationships with other characters had been clarified and explored more.

~ I wish Ben had interacted with other members of the Resistance. He and Finn had so many parallels in their arcs, and the two of them actually had a couple scenes together, but they were always distant, with Finn watching as Rey interacted with Ben.

~ What was Finn going to tell Rey? What was their relationship about when it came down to it? They had such a wonderful dynamic and intertwined arcs in The Force Awakens, but in this installment it felt like they were running parallel to each other.

~ Giving Poe a shady past as a spice smuggler contradicts his canon backstory revealed in Before the Awakening by Greg Rucka.

~ Hux’s death was disappointingly anticlimactic. Seemed like a waste of his character. I’m not sure how I feel about the twist of him being the spy. He seemed so much less the crazed man who fired Starkiller or the calculating menace who considered killing an unconscious Kylo. Before TROS, Hux’s motivations seemed more political and ideological, a contrast to Kylo’s motives which seemed personal.

~ In what capacity did Pryce serve Palpatine in the previous war?

~ The fact that Rey is a Palpatine raises all kinds of questions about her family. There could be a whole trilogy about what kind of relationship Sheev and his child had. I wonder if the mother of his child was Mara Jade or someone like her who worked closely with him. But the mention of cloning and other strange techniques for making or passing on life makes me wonder if his child was even “natural” or somehow made.

~ Rey’s Dark Side heritage makes her affinity with the light side even more ironic and miraculous. Or maybe the irony is that someone as dark as Palpatine could come from such an idyllic utopia as Naboo. Maybe they are trying to show that it is our choices, not our origins, that define us.

~ The fact that Rey is descended from a powerful established character takes away from the idea that Rey represented for me and many others, that a great person can come from humble, unimportant origins.

~ Finn’s arc was opposite of predicted stormtrooper rebellion. The stormtrooper paradox still holds.

~ The hunt for Sith clues doesn’t make sense. It makes even less sense than the search for Luke in TFA, which was full of holes and unexplained coincidences.

~ The way Ben stands on the Death Star looking out at the horizon was 100% Byronic hero, but also similar to Luke’s posture when looking at the Tatooine suns.

~ Seeing Kylo talking to Han and Rey talking to Luke underscored how Kylo and Rey are co-protagonists.

~ How long did Ben stay at the Death Star ruins contemplating his and Rey’s situation? Apparently long enough for Rey to go to Ahch-To, talk to Luke, and go to Exegol, because he arrives there later than her. Time and distance in these movies have never made much sense, but I wonder if there might be some deleted scenes involving Kylo at this point. Did he realize he had lost control of the First Order? Did he ever think about ordering them not to follow Palpatine?

~ Regarding minor pilot characters: Happy to see Wedge Antilles back, sad to see Snap Wexley die.

~ Poe could have had better resolution for his arc as an emerging leader

~ Finn tries once again to sacrifice himself despite what Rose said to him after he tried to do that in TLJ. (While I don’t think it was necessary, Ben’s death was in keeping with her words because he died to save what he loved.)

~ We finally got a Reylo music theme! If I’m not mistaken, it had the Force theme sort of underlying it but there were other things going on too. I look forward to hearing the What the Force podcast’s discussion on this.

~ Rose was right that they would win by “Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love.” Rey refused to even hate Palpatine. Ben came to save Rey and that enabled her to save everyone else.

~ My favorite moments of each sequel involve Rey, Ben, and a light saber passing between them.

~ Everything that was said to Rey and Ben about home, family, coming home, coming back ... it was all leading up to their teaming up. Palpatine was wrong when he said he was Rey’s only family. Ben became her family, and that was part of the reason why she took his family name. Whoever wrote the caption “The belonging you seek is in Ben Solo’s arms” was right.

~ We still don’t know what, if any, ideology Ben held, how he felt about political power and different forms of government. That pretty much reinforces my belief that for him this has never been about politics, it’s all been personal for him.

~  Ben’s death is problematic if he is supposed to represent people who have been abused and made poor life choices. It’s a beautiful sacrifice, but did Rey really have to die and necessitate it? She could have been mortally wounded, and he could have healed her without dying himself.

~ If passing his life force to Rey cost his life, Ben should have died before Rey kissed him.

~ Ben’s death is tragic, but not technically a tragedy in the literary sense, because it’s not about learning how to avoid making mistakes like his. For all his faults (narcissism, anger that manifests in violence), Ben didn’t have a particular fatal flaw. He fell because he was a victim of circumstances and forces beyond his control. He died saving the woman he loved, which sounds like a good thing.

~ I’m surprised the Lars homestead was still standing after it seemed to have burned to ash in A New Hope, and I find it difficult to believe that on a planet like Tatooine someone else would not have claimed it.

~ The title refers to both Ben and Rey, since Rey becomes a Skywalker

~ From a certain point of view, Reylos and Rey Skywalkers were both right, and both wrong.

~ Why didn’t Ben become a Force ghost like Luke and Leia? Can he become one in the future? I find the matter of whether a Jedi/Force-user leaves behind their physical body or fades away to become one with the Force, and whether they become capable of manifesting as a ghost, sketchy and inconsistent.

~ What is Rey going to do now? Was she moving into the Lars homestead? Will she raise a family of her own? I think it unlikely that she would fall in love with anyone as deeply as she did with Kylo, and I think she might be hesitant to have biological children who would inherit her (Palpatine) Force abilities, but I can picture her adopting and/or mentoring children.

~ The theme of IX seems to be “You’re not alone,” the way 8’s was “Failure is the greatest teacher.” It is the lesson Rey, Finn, Poe, and Ben each learn. But in the end Rey does seem alone.

~ Rey’s greatest fears were being alone and being insignificant. Is the takeaway supposed to be that she is okay with being alone? That would go against the movie’s overarching theme. Similarly, Star Wars is about family, and while that theme definitely comes through, it would have been so well punctuated if the story ended with the main characters starting families.

~ Nothing was resolved regarding the government(s) of the galaxy. Is it in a state of anarchy now? Were they able to learn from the mistakes of the past two republics?

~ Did Rey, Ben, the Jedi, and/or the Resistance bring balance to the Force? Is the corresponding rise and fall of the light and dark finally over? Will this peace last? Will Rey be the last Jedi or will she pass on their legacy?

~ What was the point of this trilogy as a whole? What message are we supposed to take away from it? Is it still a Prodigal Son type of story?

Now I’m going to spend time thinking about how this will impact my fan fiction and my essays on the Christian themes of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. I will look forward to reading the (apparently expanded edition) novelization and having good quality screenshots and one more Shakespearean parody by Ian Doescher.

[randomahsheadcanons]

Milkshake - Kit Walker x Jimmy Darling

So I basically wrote this because @americanhorrorhcs made me ship these two and @ahs-memes is the only one posting some quality content for this ship so I had to do something about it. But english is not my first language so this will probably suck. Enjoy

In the year of 1964, there was absolutely nothing about Kit Walker’s life that could have been considered normal in the slightest. Both of his wives, the only two women he had ever loved during his entire life, were dead. His children, Thomas and Julia, were “special” and now he had to raise them all by himself, as their mothers and the woman who was the closest they had to a grandmother, were dead.

Kit was a dedicated father who lived in constant fear. Fear of what could happen to his children if he left them, even for a second. His wife always spoke about the aliens as some sort of superior force, as if they were her religion. She claimed the children were a magical gift from them and they would return for them. That thought was what kept Kit laying in bed at night, trying to sleep but not being capable of erasing his own thoughts.

He imagined that his kids could be taken away from him at any moment.

Abducted.

Returned to the people that caused nothing but pain and suffering to Kit and his family, the monsters who fascinated his enthusiastic wife, Grace, but seemed to terrify his more cautious wife, Alma. The creatures that stole his life, his sleep, his sanity. The beings that psychologically scarred him for life and made him doubt himself uncountable times. Maybe, he thought after a particularly bad night, his children weren’t even his.

He knew there was something about them that made they special.

Grace and Alma both gave birth to them after having an encounter with the aliens.

It somehow made Kit realize that, if his kids were taken away from him, they would just return to the people they truly belonged with. The thought did nothing but make his anxiety and his fear of losing his kids worse. What if he couldn’t raise them? Would they leave him? They couldn’t. He was absolutely helpless without them. Something Kit never enjoyed, since he was a kid, was being alone. He couldn’t stand it.

In fact, that was the main reason why he wanted to marry Alma so soon. As soon as they met each other, Kit had a desire to move in with her and they got engaged in a short period of time, mostly because Kit could barely wait to have a life partner. He was always very fond of the idea of sharing your life with someone and spending all the good moments, the bad ones, everything, with them. He wanted to experience the whole thing.

It was hard coming back to an empty home, it made Kit wish Grace and Alma could have gotten along. And even though he liked imagining how his life could have been if his wives loved each other as much as he loved them, it wasn’t healthy to fantasize. Another woman Kit considered important in his life was his former roommate, Sister Jude, who had died recently and now Kit just wished the woman was in peace.

And now, to keep himself from losing his mind once again, Kit agreed to let Sister Mary Eunice move in with him.

Something about the ex nun seemed to change after she was possessed by the Devil. Her enthusiasm and sweet, kind nature was still a crucial part of her personality. Mary Eunice was just as lovable, gullible and innocent as he remembered but her faith didn’t survive the horrible events that took place in Briarcliff. The blonde was traumatized, horrified and had lost her obedience and faith in the Lord, just like Kit.

She refused to thank the “good Lord” for anything, recognizing she was the one who earned all she had. She had also promised to keep herself as far as she possibly could from religion and the sudden change was noticed by Kit and Lana. The journalist was having a hard time letting go of the past as she made it clear she wouldn’t let her friendship with Kit and Mary fade away with time. She wanted to have her story told, she needed it.

The truth was that Lana was almost obsessed with making people know and understand what happened to her.

What happened in Briarcliff.

Kit respected Mary Eunice’s rush and desperation to get past everything that happened just as he also could understand Lana’s need to mark it as part of her history.

Everyone had a different way to deal with it.

And Kit’s way of moving on involved accepting everything that happened to him and choosing to just let it all go. Unfortunately to Kit, the simple and close minded people who lived in the same small town in Massachusetts as him, couldn’t seem to let go anytime soon. The problem with a small town is that everybody knows each other, which seems to cause people to think they can all simultaneously judge the ones they considered “unholy”.

Mary Eunice herself was criticized for her experience, openly blamed and accused of sinning. Lana, as a lesbian who was practically forced to come out, had to get used to the slurs and the constant homophobic remarks. Kit, no matter how far that was from the truth, was still treated as a if he were a murderer. Before Briarcliff, people already had their differences with the man for his failed attempt to marry Alma.

It was something he had to deal with, being considered an outsider for wanting to “marry a nigger”.

Now it was worse, as the only people who didn’t think he was a murderer, still saw him as a schizo, a psycho or a maniac.

Kit’s bad reputation caused him to be feared, bullied or dismissed as “just another weirdo”. At first, he couldn’t care less. He was used to be the one people doubted the most and being mocked for always believing himself when no one else seemed to even try. But it soon became clear that it was way more serious than he thought. After Briarcliff, Kit managed to get back to working at the gas station but his payment decreased significantly.

At first he tried to ignore it, he wasn’t in a good position to complaint about it. Honestly, he was happy to have a job in the first place. But the real problem was that what he earned wasn’t enough to give him financial stability. He barely had enough for grocery shopping, most of what he earned had to be spent on all his bills and taxes. But the truth was that Kit wasn’t a stranger to poverty and hunger.

His family was far from wealthy, he had always been used to be mocked and considered “white trash”.

So he had no problem adjusting to his new condition.

However, no matter how willing he was to starve if it was necessary, it soon became clear that Kit wouldn’t be able to afford his simple house and take care of Thomas and Julia with what he currently earned. Mary Eunice herself was struggling to get a job and it was almost as hard for her as it was for Kit, although his bad reputation was way worse than the false rumors about the former nun, who was still adjusting to her new life.

When Kit realized that he couldn’t avoid his bad situation for long, it became more than necessary to get another job. But admitting he needed to get a job was way easier than actually finding someone who was willing to hire him. No matter how Kit pleaded and begged for a job, no one felt safe having him as an employee and he couldn’t bring himself to convince anyone that he was innocent.

The man had already lost all hope of finding a new job when he suddenly remembered he already knew a person who could be willing to help him.

Before Briarcliff, when Kit still lived a normal life, he couldn’t say he had many friends. Kit wasn’t good at making friends. He already knew most of the people who lived in the same small town as he did and he had a few childhood friends but he wasn’t exactly friends with them. The only people he once considered his friends disapproved of his marriage with Alma, which caused them to keep a distance.

However, one of the only people who never misjudged Kit or made racist remarks about his relationship with Alma, was Penny, a hard working woman who seemed to love Kit and his ex wife. Penny never said or did anything to judge Kit and even after Briarcliff, she still tried to give him emotional support, telling him how sorry she was for everything that happened to him. The kind woman even showed up at Alma’s funeral.

She was a true friend.

And as she owned one of the town’s best diners, at least in Kit’s humble opinion, the “Salt & Pepper Diner”, she could be the only person who would be willing to offer him a job.

Fortunately, Kit was right.

When he showed up at the “Salt & Pepper Diner”, Penny immediately pulled him into a tight hug. She asked him about the kids, about living with Mary Eunice and even comforted him when he mentioned how hard it was to live in a small town where people thought he was either a serial killer or a schizophrenic. Penny reassured him, making sure he knew she wasn’t suspicious of him at all and would never be.

Part of him already knew that. Penny was a sweetheart and she knew him by heart, but it felt extremely good to know for sure that someone was on his side for once in his life. Kit told her how hard it was to find a job and Penny immediately offered to help him. She said she trusted him enough to hire him as a waiter and he almost cried tears of joy and relief. He couldn’t stop thanking the generous woman.

A second job would be enough for Kit to be able to keep his house and buy everything Thomas and Julia needed. His shift started at 10:00 a.m and ended by 06:00 p.m, which meant he could keep working at the gas station. It was the first step to putting his life back together.

Poor Kit had never been so grateful in his entire life. Being deathly afraid of losing his job, he tried his best to be the best waiter he could possibly be. He told himself that mistakes would not be tolerated no matter how hard it was to do everything right, he tried to make everything as perfect as he could manage. It caused people to go easier on him, to treat him nicely for the first time since Kit was released from Briarcliff.

His cheerful attitude and politeness was enough to make people try to understand his side, it made them think about how hard it was for him and it made them realize they might have been mistreating Kit for no reason. Everything seemed to be going well for once and that’s why Kit should probably have been more careful, he knew things didn’t usually worked out well for him, at least not for long.

Kit had been working at the diner for a week when he made his first mistake.

It was an innocent, foolish accident.

It shouldn’t have been so important.

But it was important for Kit.

The man had a tendency to over think about meaningless things too much, a habit he seemed to have cultivated after Briarcliff. Everything seemed to make him anxious and he considered every single possibility of something bad happening to him, no matter how impossible it could be.

He overreacted.

Kit was serving at the bar when, as he handed a milkshake to a costumer, he got distracted by an impatient man, who practically shouted his order on Kit’s ear, and accidentally spilled the milkshake all over the counter. He immediately gasped and covered his mouth, his mind desperately trying to process what happened. Panic took over him and he felt a knot in his stomach as he heard the costumer swear.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” he gasped out, nervously glancing around and trying to find a napkin. “Okay, I’m so sorry. I’ll get you another one on the house, I-”

“Hey, calm down.”

The soothing voice helped Kit gain enough confidence to look up and face the costumer, although he was ashamed of what he just did and assumed the man was mad at him and ready to call his manager and have him fired. However, when he looked up he wasn’t faced with angry eyes and an outraged expression, what he saw instead was concerned, dark brown eyes and a reassuring smile.

His first thought was that the man was breathtakingly handsome.

He was light skinned and had short, dirty blonde hair. Attractive wasn’t enough to describe him, he was so much more. His gloved hands were resting on the counter and Kit had no idea why but he felt like he was floating as soon as he looked at his soft smile. The man wore a white shirt, a leather jacket and Kit couldn’t stop looking at it and imagining things that a straight man certainly shouldn’t be imagining.

He tried to figure out what was he planning on doing before he got lost in the man’s eyes.

Oh right, the napkins.

“I-I’ll be right with you, sir,” he said before leaving his side and frantically searching for napkins.

As he grabbed every napkin he could find, he tried to calm himself down. He felt nervous and good at the same time, his face was so warm it was probably entirely red at this point. He tried to think about something other than the way the handsome costumer licked his lips when Kit talked to him before leaving his side. When he felt like he had cooled down a little bit, he went back to the counter and started cleaning up the shake.

The man took the napkins from him and Kit looked up to him with a confused frown.

“Thanks, sugar, but you can go focus on getting that other milkshake, I can do this,” he explained, cleaning up the counter himself.

Kit was about to protest and insist he could do it himself since it was his job but the man looked up to him and winked.

He almost passed out.

Kit was having a hard time trying not to blush when suddenly the stranger took his gloves off and revealed his hands.

Kit couldn’t help but stare at them.

His thumb was apparently normal but his two other fingers seemed to be connected so it looked like he had three fingers, two of them being too long.

Eventually, the man noticed Kit was staring and buried his hands on his pockets.

“What? You think I’m a freak too, huh?”

Kit almost jumped in alarm, immediately shaking his head.

“NO, NO! I’M SORRY, I JUST… I’ve just never seen anything like it before,” he said, his voice getting gradually softer until it was barely above a whisper.

The man frowned, looking confused for a brief moment before smiling brightly, as if he was pleasantly surprised. His smile made Kit want to wrap his arms around him because it looked like he never met someone who didn’t consider him a freak. Kit would never judge anyone based on their appearance but the people of this small town would and he knew that better than anyone else. The stranger sticked out his hand and Kit looked at it.

“Name’s Jimmy.”

His accent was so lovely and it made Kit imagine things he probably shouldn’t have imagined. He shook his head, trying to ignore his crazy fantasies and glanced nervously at Jimmy’s hands, wondering if he should give him his name or not. He then realized that was a stupid thought, considering he had a name tag so he didn’t need to tell him his name. But his mouth worked faster than his mind.

“Hi, Kit. I’m Jimmy! Wait, fuck- I’m Kit… I guess,” he blurted out, mentally kicking himself for the embarrassment.

Jimmy seemed to find him cute as he chuckled and looked at Kit up and down, as if he was checking him out. Kit blushed and decided not to look into his dark brown eyes, fearing he might get lost on them again. He tried to focus on working, getting Jimmy another milkshake then successfully handing it to him, this time. He kept serving all the other costumers and trying to ignore the way Jimmy wouldn’t take his eyes off of him.

Jimmy spent the entire time admiring Kit, apparently forgetting about his milkshake, until he finally got up and put on his gloves again. He took his wallet and Kit stopped him by putting his hand on Jimmy’s hand.

“You don’t have to,” he said, smiling shyly. “It’s on the house.”

Jimmy smiled sweetly but shook his head, taking money out of his wallet and placing it on the counter.

“Thanks, baby, but it’s fine.”

“But I-I,” Kit stuttered. “I spilled your milkshake.”

Jimmy bit his lip and, once again, looked at Kit up and down and licked his lips.

“You can repay me for that,” he suggested.

“I don’t ha-”

“By going out with me tonight.”

Kit was speechless.

The most handsome man he has ever seen was asking him out on a date and he did nothing but spill his milkshake. He wanted to come up with an excuse, anything to make sure he wouldn’t need to go out with him and mess something up, just like he always did. He could argue that he wasn’t gay but even looking at Jimmy was enough to make him know that wasn’t entirely true. He couldn’t say anything, he had nothing to say.

Something told him he needed to decline it. He wasn’t enough, he could never be enough for Jimmy. He barely knew the man but there was something about him that… shined. It wasn’t hard to tell he deserved better because he was so understanding. His future was bright and now he was looking at Kit with hopeful eyes and a flirty grin. Kit couldn’t bring himself to say no.

“Come on, baby,” he smirked, encouragingly. “Why don’t we go out on a motorcycle ride after this?”

Kit opened his mouth but couldn’t say anything.

He nodded and Jimmy smiled brightly, looking almost relieved.

“I get off at 06:00 p.m,” it was all he managed to say.

Jimmy winked one last time before leaving and Kit could have died right there and he would have died happy.

It was too late when he finally realized he forgot to tell Jimmy he was deathly afraid of motorcycles.

[novantinuum]

jen’s doctor who s11 review

On the whole!

I really enjoyed series 11 for its nice change in pace and especially the relationship built up between Graham and Ryan. I really liked how many of the episodes were lighter and kinda more adventure-y in nature than in past, instead of constant “the world is gonna end” danger. Like I love those kinds of episodes, believe me, but the lighter tone is very welcomed after many series of heart wrenching angst ahahahah! 

I loved how they handled the historical episodes this series, and really dug into the truth of human condition within those time periods, and took risks there. I actually learned a lot about the time periods they visited- for example, I never really heard much about the Pakistan partition in school. 

Thirteen is precious and I want to hug her. She’s so full of hope and that makes me so happy! :DDD I love how she’s a sciency tinkerer and likes cobbling stuff together out of whatever loose ends she can find. I’m still waiting for her to snap, though- maybe that’s just me as an angst lord talking, but I want to see her super super angry. The scene in The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos with her sternly disagreeing with Graham was very good though. But anyways, I love her positivity and her quirky alien charm, and her character feels like a natural progression of where the Doctor left off at the end of Twice Upon a Time. The Doctor has gone through a lot of healing since the Time War, a lot of self reflection and forgiving themself, and Thirteen is absolutely a product of that and it shows. It’s so nice to see them back on their feet, unshackled by that guilt finally, just wandering about the universe like they always did. 

Yasmin is so sweet and so loyal, and h o h boy if there’s anyone I can see sticking with the Doctor until the bitter end out of this crew it’s her. (*nervous laughter*) Out of all the crew she’s the one who’s had the least development though, so I’m looking forward to seeing where she goes as a character moving forward. Also, I hope we see her family more, I like them! Maybe in the New Years special, we’ll see. I’ve absolutely hit the “ADOPT KID” button on Ryan, the more I think about him the more I love him- just, all this time he’s been looking for belonging, for people who aren’t gonna leave him behind like his dad, and he had that with his nan Grace- but he didn’t know if Graham was gonna be the same or if he was only there for him bc of association with Grace. But now through all these adventures through space and time he has absolute proof that Graham will be there for him, and so he’s made the conscious decision to make Graham his family. And Graham, hhh... his grieving throughout the series, while not acting as a shadow on it, was always woven through and it’s nice to see both him and Ryan actually make peace with things through seeing Tim Shaw again and giving him his humble pie. 

In the end when it comes to this series, I love the strong found family vibes it gives. Graham and Ryan and Yaz, they all knew each other in some way before, but they didn’t truly know each other. And through being thrown together with the Doctor, entering her wild adventurous life, they got to grow closer as friends, but more importantly, as a family. The whole series the Doctor was looking for a word to describe her little ragtag group, and she wasn’t exactly sure if “fam” was the right one, but in the end it’s what she settles on because this has become a family. 

Now, what I’m hoping to see more of in the future! 

1) I’d love to see more extended domestic-y TARDIS scenes! We’ve got a lot of pre/post endcap TARDIS scenes, but I’d love to see more small little convos between characters on the way to their destinations, in between, etc. For as long as these episodes were I feel like so much time was spent providing exposition and story for the plot, but I’d love to see more fun nonsense. More glimpses at what they get up to in between, if that makes any sense. (As an example of what I mean, we got a bit of this in The Tsuranga Conundrum, at the very beginning when they were just poking about a junkyard planet, and I quite liked that.)

2) As the characters keep developing I’d love to see more conflict arise between them to test their friendships. We saw some good moments of this with the Doctor telling Ryan to stay behind with Hanne in It Takes You Away after he made a kinda narrow-minded comment about her disability, and when the Doctor flat out told Graham that if he killed Tim Shaw he wouldn’t be traveling with her anymore in the finale. I’d love to see more of this.

3) This may just be because I’m really queer, but I want the Doctor to snap and yell and get really angry at something. That’s the ONE thing that felt entirely missing from this series. In the end I get the sense that this Doctor has a far greater reign on her emotions and self because she’s healed quite a bit, but I still know she’s capable of that righteous anger and I’d love to see Jodie show off her full range with a scene like that.

4) We’ll probably get this in the New Years special, but I’m super anticipating Thirteen facing the Daleks. This is a quintessential thing for every Doctor, in my opinion, and I can’t wait for when they (hopefully!) eventually do that.

5) More of a plot arc. I definitely know the lack of a tight plot arc was because they wanted it to be more accessible for people to just tune in and watch without context,, as they’re gaining some new fans, but I hope that there’s more of a return to an ongoing series plot arc with this next series since everything’s been established. I personally really like those, because I get to be a plot arc detective! I will say that I’m very pleased that Tim Shaw was brought back for the finale, though- that acted as a very nice bookend and helped tie up all the emotional threads.

6) Also not exactly anything I can fault this series for, because I can tell one of the points/themes of it was “not everything is what it seems on the surface” and “sometimes the real monsters,,, are humanity” and I very much respect that, but I do wanna see some more just... alien baddies who ARE baddies and not misunderstood. Listen,, I’m a simple minded person. Love me some monsters! 

My rankings! 

For context, I’m generally very easy with my ratings. I’m not rating them on how critically perfect they are as plots or anything, this is purely based on how much I enjoyed them. I’ve only actually rated nine episodes of Doctor Who 2005-present with scores of 6 or below.

10- Absolutely SUPERB  9- Excellent! 8- Great! 7- Good 6- Okay

1) Demons of the Punjab    (10) This ep made me cry more than any episode of Doctor Who has in a very long time. Incredibly poignant, stunning music and cinematography. Taught me a whole lot I never knew about the partition and how it affected everyday people. I liked how the Doctor assumed the whole time that these aliens were  A good Yaz centric ep, too. It ranks 7th in my list of all-time favorites.  

2) It Takes You Away   (9.5) Wowee, another very poignant one! Some FANTASTIC acting from Jodie in this ep, and a very trippy concept with the sentient universe. Loved getting to see each companion getting a good role to play. ALSO CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I STAN THAT FROG??? AND THE DOCTOR SEDUCING AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE???? B R U H. Hanne’s actress did a wonderful job too! 

3) Kerblam!   (9) What a heckin fun episode! This one will definitely become one of my comfort eps, I can already tell. The secondary characters were all lovely, and the bots were delightfully unsettling too! I spent the whole thing going “wow I totally experienced this working at Amazon” and I thought that was pretty funny. Also, I might highlight all the wonderful Graham snark we got in this one. 

4) Rosa    (9) Gahhh this was a hard one to watch, but very truthful in its depiction of the time period, and a lovely tribute to an incredibly courageous woman. Shout out to how the ep forced Graham to recognize and accept his white privilege (and the Doctor too for that matter), the scene with Ryan and Yaz discussing racism they’ve had to endure, and also for the scene with the Doctor making jokes about Banksy. That made me laugh. “Banksy doesn’t have one of these! Or do I?”

5) The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos    (9) I was VERY glad to see Tim Shaw return for some finished business, and how it allowed Graham and Ryan to finally get a bit of peace for what happened to Grace because of him. This was a solid ep, with some SOLID character moments between Graham and the Doctor and Graham and Ryan. The Ux were interesting, too.

6) The Woman Who Fell to Earth    (8.5) Solid, fun episode. It wastes no time in setting up who Thirteen will be. Still one of my favorite scenes in this whole series so far is when she builds her own sonic screwdriver- GOD the music there is so damn iconic. And gahhh I love Grace so much. How dare they make me love a character so much and then let her die? Rude. That’s homophobia. XD

7) The Witchfinders   (8.5) The Doctor gets dunked in water and has soaked hair. Dare I say more? No, but I was glad to see an ep with an alien danger that actually IS an alien danger that seeks to destroy and conquer, I always love those- and this one, with weird sentient mud that can fill corpses, was delightfully grim. Willow was a great secondary character, too- loved her especially. 8) The Ghost Monument   (8) Okay so I really loved how slice-of-life this episode was? We actually got to know our secondary characters Angstrom and Epzo and I appreciated that. The bit with the Doctor thinking the TARDIS was gone forever at the end... hhhhhhng... that was such a good scene. You could just see the hope drained from her face, and then to see it all rush back as she finally found her?? W o w I’m so emo, y’all ;D;

9) The Tsuranga Conundrum  (7) So I enjoyed this one, but there were some kinda oddly phrased bits of dialogue in it that marks it down for me. The Pting is a delightfully weird and cursed creature, 10/10, would yeet out of a spacecraft. I already mentioned this, but I LOVE the scene in the junkyard and how slice-of-life it was. I also appreciate how someone called out the Doctor on being selfish during this. 10) Arachnids in the UK   (6.5) So this episode was riding right on the edge of “ehh” for me, but it still has some great moments in it, with the Doctor awkwardly interacting with Yasmin’s family and all those heckin spiders bee-boppin down the hallways to the tune of rap music. XD I can’t exactly pick out why it was an “eh” for me, but it just didn’t click. Maybe I was just hoping it’d be an alien thing and was kinda left wanting with the way the episode felt kinda... unfinished. Like, there’s still a bunch of giant spiders? They didn’t solve that. They just- trapped them and left. I dunno I was left wanting with this ep.

[mmazzeroo]

Chapter 17: ARYA V - Lord Dayne In Uniform

@helloimnotawesome - Chapter 17 ready for you! Hope uni isn’t stressing you out still, and if so I hope this chapter can bring a little piece of joy to your day. Love ya, sis! <3

ARYA V - Lord Dayne In Uniform:

Kintsugi is a silent proof of survival.' She didn't like to admit it, because the gods knew she hated to be wrong, but Jon had done the near-impossible. He'd managed to find a way to have Sansa understand that she was worthy and still beautiful - and should be proud of her scars and the story they told. Sansa and Jon have both survived so much and still manage to have so much light within them just bursting to get out. Maybe we're all a little broken and that's how the light gets in? Man, I need to study Naathi and YiTi cultures some more!

She'd apologised and hugged it out with Sansa before helping herself to another round of Jon's stew. When she'd visited him a while back he'd cooked fish for her on the coals of the fire and it was delicious! Oh yeah, and uncle Benjen had made breakfast for us! Yummi! That was a great weekend. She smiled at the memory of waking up to Jon and Benjen talking quietly by the fire. As far as she knew uncle Ben had only visited Jon a few times, but they seemed to get along well. Her family still held on to the age old 'there must always be a Stark at Winterfell', so for Benjen to be able to go anywhere her dad needed to go back home. Luckily for everyone it's where her dad preferred to be so uncle Ben wasn't as chained as it would otherwise sound like. Bran was being groomed to take over 'the Direwolf Kennel', the generations old Stark family husky breeding business, which uncle Ben was currently managing. In the autumn Bran would begin his business management studies, and together with Sansa, already being a veterinarian assistant, unless she's changed her mind about moving back home, those two would become a leadership duo to reckon with, she was sure of it!

A wet snout on her cheek startled her and brought her out of her musings.

"Ghost! You scared me, boy." She nuzzled his head and gave him a hug. "Oh hey there, McCoy. You found a best buddy in Ghost?"

Jon chuckled, "pretty much! The past many months it's as if when you find one white furball the other white furball is usually close by."

Past few years Dany had brought the cats to Dragonstone for the summer because they loved being outdoors, and King's Landing didn't exactly have an abundance of nature. This year with Jon and Ghost being here as well Dany thought it'd be a perfect way and time for all the boys to bond further and hang out in their natural habitat. Needless to say her experiment had been a big success.

"And the other furballs?"

"Kirk tend to find Dany fairly quickly and, if my observations are correct, he's been up in that tree—" he pointed behind himself to the large old tree not far from where they were all gathered, "—for several hours now."

All surrounding chattering halted even Rhaegar stopped playing the guitar and everyone, almost in unison, looked at Jon then to the tree then back at Jon. Stunned. As was she. How did he know that?! Can he see in the dark?

Vis was the first one to speak. "You guys do realise that the only reason Jon is still around is because he's always been extremely good at observing and analysing his environment, right?" He was clearly amused by everyone else's dumbfounded looks.

"...pff...right well, we can't all be trained to have ninja-like skills..." Why did I say that out loud? She almost rolled her eyes at herself.

"The years with the Night's Watch honed his abilities, Arya, but he didn't learn them there. Without them he most likely wouldn't even have made it that far." Without giving any sensitive information away, Viserys had in a few sentences displayed how well he'd gotten to know Jon and his past.

Once again she was amazed by her eldest brother and what he was capable of. If this is his level of knowing where everyone is despite having been here, setting up camp and fireplaces most of the day.... She wasn't sure if she wanted to ask the question lurking in the back of her mind. Maybe the rumours about the Night's Watch and their near surgical precision with which they carry out missions isn't exaggerated at all? Maybe it's really true? Maybe that kind of observation is second nature to Jon now after all those years of depending on it for survival? She knew her brother was trained to kill if necessary, but she hadn't really contemplated the depth of what that entailed. How it would affect every part of his life not just psychologically, but physically and emotionally as well. How even now surrounded by family and loved ones, seemingly relaxed, he was still watching and guarding. A little sad smile crossed her lips when she noticed where he'd placed himself: with his back to the aforementioned tree so he was able to have a clear view of the open fields all the way up to the castle and the water over by the side.

"What about Spock?" This time Marg was the one breaking the silence.

"Oh ah," he laughed lightly, "he's spending his days with Phantom. They've become quite the pair around here."

"Phantom?" Rhaegar looked puzzled

Rhaella chimed in now. "The horse I told you about, Rhae. The one the Baratheons wanted to be put down because they couldn't get him to race. They were furious there was 'no return on the investment' so to speak. They said he was uncontrollable. I believe the words 'mad' and 'crazy' were being used more than once."

"Fucking Stags!" Damn right, Rhae!

Margaery was looking straight at Rhae as she was slowly nodding, clearly agreeing with him. Her brother Loras and Renly Baratheon had been 'a thing' for a few years now, and more than once had she head Marg refer to Renly as 'one of the most pompous jackasses' she'd ever met.

"Language dad! You owe 5 dragons to the cursing jar!" Despite Rhaegar's attempt to keep his voice low his daughter had heard him anyway, and not everyone was able to hold in their laughter at the sight of the little girl scolding her father wagging her index finger at him.

"You're right, I'm sorry Nys." Rhae blew a kiss to his daughter who was currently wrapped up in a blanket  and sitting in Margaery's lap. He turned and looked at Jon when he asked, "so how did you manage to get to him?"

"It wasn't easy I'll tell you that!" Jon shook his head. "He arrived on the ranch in the evening, bolted from the enclosure after only a few hours and there was no way of getting him back in. When anyone approached he ran off again. So I began camping out here. Wanted to get him used to my presence. First time I saw him, really saw him, he was coming out of the morning fog. He looked right at me as if to say, 'what in the hells are you looking at? Who do you think you are?'" He smiled at the memory. "He's been mistreated so much that he isn't scared anymore of what you can do to him. To him humans simply means pain. So he's angry, very angry. Very mistrusting. Obviously feelings I could relate to." He shrugged as if to say it wasn't a big deal, but she knew better. He's found a kindred spirit. A fellow survivor.

Jon was staring into the flames so he didn't notice the looks and smiles being shared around the fire, but she did. Especially the look between Rhaella, her dad and Rhae, they look so proud, and between Vis and Dany. Did he just give his final 'approval' of Jon? Yeah buddy, my brother can cure animals others have doomed! Boom! Dany snuggled closer to Jon as he sat with his arms wrapped around her.

"But," her mom look unsure, "you said he and Spock had become a pair..?"

"Yes, he seems to be ok with smaller animals - and as you probably know the smart ones don't like being alone." Again with the shrug. "You should see Spock sitting majestically on Phantom's back. It's quite a sight." Jon threw his head back laughing. "Although," he continued through heaving chuckling, "he does move a bit when you join him on Phantom's back."

Dany had so far been sitting quietly on a sheep's skin on the ground between Jon's legs leaning back against him, but she bolted right up, turned and said, "you've ridden a horse that was deemed unrideable?!"

She couldn't see Dany's face from where she was sitting, but based on her tone she sounded surprised, impressed or proud. Or maybe all three?

"I have." Jon looked and sounded proud. Go Jon! "More than once although mostly at night."

"At night?!" Her mom looked shocked.

"Yes. He seeks out my company more during the night. He knows I'm awake and besides," he sighed and stared back into the fire, "that's when all the memories come back, so....we keep each other company."

"But," her mom continued. Jeez, relax mom! Jon knows what he's doing. I think... "You can't see at night, child!"

"But he can. I just need to trust him and keep my head down."

"Is he fast?" She couldn't keep the question in any longer. It had been nagging ever since they'd started speaking about the horse.

Jon grinned. "He runs like we just robbed the bank and have a horde of Dothrakhi screamers on our tail."

There was a choir of loud laughter around the fire. Her dad had laughed so hard he'd startled poor little Aegon curled up asleep in his lap, head resting on his chest. Luckily 'uncle Ned' had immediately calmed him down and the little silver-haired boy was fast asleep again. Maybe one day he'll have a little silver-haired grandchild of his own, wouldn't that be something?

Sansa pulled Jon's sleeve slightly. "Why did you even try? I mean, he wasn't injured - you could've just let him be and made sure he had enough food etc. How did you know he didn't want to be alone?"

"Horses are social creatures. Solitude is fine in small amounts, but prolonged periods is bad for their wellbeing. Physically and mentally. Just like us." He gave Sansa a wink before continuing, "and, because in my personal humble opinion leaving him be without trying would be the same as giving up on him. Giving up on him would be the same as wasting his life. Wasting his life by letting him shun any and all social interaction would be the same as slowly killing him. Killing a colt at this age, unless there's a serious injury or illness, is the same as throwing away a life - and you don't throw a whole life away just because he's banged up a little."

Instantly Dany was on him, kissing him fiercely. Paying no mind to the whistling and hollering from their families. When she finally withdrew there were clear tear tracks on her cheeks. She couldn't really blame her. They all knew his last line had been about much more than 'just' a horse.

——————————

A few weeks later, and it was Robb and Margaery's wedding day and she was currently standing in a hotel suite watching her eldest brother look like he was about to faint. Robb and their dad had helped him sit down and Grey had fetched him a glass of water. Still no reaction. He was just sitting there. Looking like his circuits had all been fried.

It all makes sense now though. Late last night Sam had been knocking on their door. He had showed up with Jon's clothes. But why not just bring it to the suite where Robb and Jon were staying? Her dad had only told her she'd understand tomorrow - and yes, she understood now. She understood why Robb and their dad looked so nervous, but she couldn't wipe the smile off her face even if she wanted to.

"I thought I lost it," he whispered. "I thought I'd lost everything."

Robb was crouching in front of him. "You did, but dad helped pull some strings for you. We know how much this means to you."

"Just dad?" Jon look sceptical down at Robb.

Dad, sitting next to Jon, cleared his throat. "No, not exactly. Lord Commander Mormont, Commander Selmy and even President Tyrell has helped getting this done for you. Everyone agreeing that you deserve it."

Silent tears were rolling down Jon's cheeks.

It's pretty awesome dad's been able to do this. Father of the Year award goes to...drumroll... He had talked to Lord Commander Mormont of the Night's Watch who had agreed immediately. Commander Selmy too had said there shouldn't be an issue given that President Tyrell too agreed. Luckily she did. Sam had agreed to pick up and prepare everything so that all dad and Robb had to do was present it to Jon. Which they'd done this morning: his dress uniform including his sword and honourary medals of valour. All pressed and polished and ready for him to wear.

She looked at the guys next to her. Like her Bran was smiling - even Grey was smiling! She glanced at the boxes in Bran's lap containing Jon's medals.  

"You sounded so broken when I asked you, and maybe I shouldn't even have asked I'm so sorry Jon, but..." he sighed. Robb, you're babbling! "Afterwards I had to tell dad and I pleaded with him if there was anything - anything at all - we could possibly do."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. Both of you. All of you. I..," he chocked on his tears.

"Guys, sorry to be the one to burst your bubble, but you really need to get dressed." Bran was tapping his left wrist with his right index finger indicating they had somewhere important to be.  

"Right!" Robb shot up. "I'll stay here with Jon. You guys go do your thing."

"Grey are you and Bran both ready?"

"Yes, Dr. Stark. All packed and ready."

"Good, thanks so much, Grey."

"No problem at all, Dr. Stark. Bran and I had a lot of fun, Sir." Always so polite! Just like Sam.

"Arya you're ready to pick up the little ones."

"Yup! Aegon's going to be so psyched when he sees you, Jon! Not to mention Dany." She sniggered. "She's going to faint seeing you in that. Lord Dayne in uniform!"