#love how you can HEAR the bass quite clearly in some parts of the song 🖤

[theflyingfeeling]

Love when Aleksi says ”💅 improvements 💅”

and the Behind the track tiktok on the band account where he talks about it like ”we have heavy riffs” ”we have some guitars here” and then he’s like ”then we have Olli 🥰🥰”

waiting for the full Alex Mattson remix of Deadzone to drop soon 😌

and !!!!!!!! yeah that's right Aleksi, that's your Olli 🥺 also I love how he just

like... yeah ok thanks for the clarification Aleksi, otherwise I would've thought it's actually Olli growling on the track 🤯 you know how you could've avoided the confusion? idk, maybe just a simple "and then we have the bass" would've done the trick, but nooooooooooooo he just HAD to mention his bassist boyfriend by his name, lest we forget 🙄 although I understand why he wanted to give credit to Olli, the bassline in this song is 🥴🥴🥴🥴

[sunlightbabe]

i’m finally listening to rush! and so this is very much my thoughts as i listen to each track x

OWN MY MIND (first listen) within the first 20 seconds or so of a song, i’ll know if i liked it or not. within like 10, i just started smiling. i love listening to new music for the first time and oh my god. an ENTIRE album!!! this one is fun. it’s catchy, it’s a good starting track. i love the effect on damiano’s voice throughout the song and ethan and vic and thomas are killing it. i’m not a music critic but i love the energy, what a bop

GOSSIP  yall i love this one that’s no secret i could have skipped this one during the album listen. did i? gossip fucking SLAPS

TIMEZONE (first listen) right off the bat, the guitar is so pretty and i love it. at first i was a little nervous because having a slower song this early on i the album feels weird, like it’s not quite deserved, but the chorus is good and, i like this a lot more than i thought i was going to tbh. thomas fucking SHREDS during his solo oh my god. i feel like it does sort of just end.. suddenly? i could have listened to another minute of this tbh, but i like it

BLA BLA BLA (first listen) this song is. it’s. i’m. conflicted because i love the instrumentation and love how they slowly introduce them in as the song goes. and i know it’s like... idk, it’s not a serious song clearly, but i’m not super into the lyrics? they’re distracting enough that it takes away from the music, which makes me sad because ethan and victoria and thomas are!!! doing some really cool things!!!! i bet this is such a fun song to play, i can see why some of them said it was their favorite. the “fu-fu-fu-fu-fuck you” parts are good, i like the kind of punky angry vibe. if the whole song was that, it would have been cool but it’s not. idk. not the song for me which is Disappointing. maybe it will grow on me with repeat listens but i don’t,,, want to keep listening sksks

BABY SAID (first listen) obsessed. right off the bat. i don’t know what it’s called, but that little guitar trill/several notes thomas keeps repeating?? it’s so good, it’s so catchy. i don’t have much to say, i just really like this one and keep dancing at my desk while i listen so that’s a seal of approval. god. i kind of want to get “baby said” tattooed on me just because i think it would be cute and this song is just. good. it’s so good.

GASOLINE  i know including this on the album was controversial and i still don’t know how i feel about it honestly. this is one i’ve listened to a few times, because i was Hooked to the little snippet they first released and just.... vic on the bass is especially good, like it sounds filthy and i fucking love it. i’m very envious of everyone who heard this live because i bet it’s a song you can feel reverberate in your chest and that last pure instrumental section is so GOOD. UGH. this is one of the songs i box to, it’s a good song to listen to when punching something repeatedly. idk. i wish they didn’t release it with the album, but i’m glad i get to listen to it. does that make me a terrible person sksks

FEEL (first listen) the song started and i visibly sat up straighter in my seat. i like this one a lot, it’s a lot of fun. the only thing is that, and no offense to anyone who absolutely loves this song, but it sort of just... blends in with the others? which i guess you want in an album, and this is my first listen, but i can see myself. forgetting that this song exists dkjslkf like it’s good!! but it doesn’t stand out to me like some of the others did. definitely a bop though

DON’T WANNA SLEEP (first listen) i really love this one. it grooves, it’s fast paced, i like the flow of the verses- it’s interesting?? idk, i actually played this one twice because i thought there was so much going on instrumentally and with damiano’s vocal choices that i wanted to hear it again. can yall imagine bopping to this at one of their shows?? i love it.

KOOL KIDS (first listen) i know there was a couple of videos of this song being played live that were floating around, but i super didn’t watch them. oops. anyways, this is the song i wish bla bla bla was tbh like. damiano’s english (?) accent is kind of terrible but it works!! this song feels very old english punk (probably because of the accent huh) and idk, it’s fun, it’s a little grimey, it’s different in a good way

IF NOT FOR YOU (first listen) i’m not really a ballad person. very rarely do i want to listen to a slower song tbh but i really like this one. thomas is absolutely killing it this album. and holy shit, when the strings come in at around a minute and a half?? i’m a sucker for strings, they are my fave. this song is beautiful and i like how it’s short and succinct. 

READ YOUR DIARY (first listen) yeah this is a bop. i saved this one to my spotify likes within 10 seconds tbh sksks i was bopping so hard i almost missed how fucking. horny this song is. i love it, i can’t wait to obsessively listen to this. no other thoughts, just a good song

MARK CHAPMAN (second listen) okay not gonna lie, i heard people say this was the best song on the album and maybe ever so i did listen to this the day this album came out. and yall aren’t wrong. i remember being so SHOCKED that this was italian but ever so delighted. very sad we had to wait this long into the album for italian but like. fuck. fuck yall. this song is so good. it’s catchy, it’s energetic, i’ve really liked this album so far but this feels... like maneskin. like oh, there they are, hello, welcome back home, thank you for gracing us with the songs we expect to hear from you WLDKFJSLKJSLGK yeah this is a fast favorite. you can feel that damiano is more comfortable singing and writing in italian, i think. top fucking tier song.

LA FINE GOD. i fucking love this. i still stand by the fact that it’s zitti e buoni meets the jesus christ superstar overture In The Best Way Possible. two rocking italian songs back to back is so good and i almost wish they split them up throughout the album because these are clearly the shining stars here. like listening to this song i’m like ah yes, the band i fell in love with. beautiful. keep this up forever and ever please and thank you

IL DONO DELLA VITA (first listen) happy to hear another italian song. it’s only. okay. which feels sacrilegious maybe? there are parts i’m indifferent towards, there are parts i really like. once or twice throughout the song when damiano held a long note, i thought he was going to dive into la paura del buio which made me laugh sks. it’s good and i like it, but i don’t think i’m going to listen to it a lot? it’s just not my flavor, i’m afraid

MAMMAMIA it’s mammamia. we love it. what else is there to say

SUPERMODEL i still....... really like supermodel sdksjhdkfsjhf i don’t care much for the lyrics, but i think the guitar is incredible. like the music is the reason i listen to this one. did yall know i still haven’t seen the music video?? maybe one day. not today tho <3

THE LONELIEST  eh. i’m fairly neutral on this one. they sound good, i can recognize that it’s a good song, but it’s not my cup of tea. i could take it or leave it. i get why you’d want an album to end on a slower song but idk. this song ended, and therefore so did the album, and i was just sitting here like “oh. that’s it. wait, that’s it?”

CONCLUSION

13/17 songs saved to spotify. i’m a little surprised by how much i liked it?? i think teatro d’ira vol 1 is still my fave album, but this was a fun listen to!! which like.. idk. the album is really fun, there’s a lot of songs you can dance and bop to which are my fave, but even the slower/more emotional songs on this one felt like they were missing some of the emotional depth we’ve seen before??? idk. it’s a good time and i can’t wait to become more familiar with the songs <3

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 4th October

A changing of the guard, this week, with longstanding chart royalty passing the baton to a new challenger, one who's set to surpass everyone who's come so far, purely in terms of fame and recognition. There's a poetry to it - or perhaps I'm overstating things. Still, two songs, both of which seem to have stayed in the charts for an obnoxiously long time - so let's see how they shake out!

Hound Dog - Elvis Presley (peaked at Number 2)

You know this song. It's one of those songs that you are guaranteed to know, at least partially. That said, there were genuinely parts of this I hadn't ever really devoted much attention to, such as the "ohhhhhhh" instumental break with the guitar solo. Which is kind of cool.

Originally a Big Mama Thornton song from 1952, written by pop royalty Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, the titular "hound dog" was apparently originally meant as a euphemistic reference to a gigolo that a woman's throwing out of her house (!)

On a side note, I appreciate the way that at just about every point in this process, Leiber and Stoller seem to be both appreciative of and a bit intimidated by Thornton!

Anyway, the song seems to have been a runaway success, with loads of cover versions coming out, including one by Freddy Bell and the Bellboys, who Elvis meets while performing in a casino, his first ever Las Vegas appearance. It's kind of interesting to me that Elvis is already pulling gigs like this; I more associate it with his later career. But maybe Elvis has always had a bit of Vegas glam?

Either way, the song was apparently originally performed at a slower piece, with a bit of a burlesque sensibility to it all, a kind of parody of the black musical tradition of bawdy songs and innuendo - this changed as the song left the casino, though, with Elvis listening to and adapting into the song elements of Thornton's performance, including the faster pace and some vocal elements and stylings. A change for the better, methinks.

The song this leaves us with is excellent, with Elvis giving it some real welly throughout as he sings about how this mystery lover ain't nothin' but a hound dock / Just crockin' all the time, and complaining about how they said you was high-classed / Well, that was just a lie. Savage stuff, and all of it's underscored by a backing that's heavy on distorted, messy guitar, startling machine-gun drum fills, hand claps, and Latin-style habanera rhythms. It's a potent mix, drawing from RnB and blues traditions, but also the more distorted, country-tinged rockabilly sounds of Bill Haley and company, and I love it!

Also, like I mentioned at the start, there's a whole guitar solo that legitimately rocks, while the backing singers go for a sort of tightly harmonised "ohhhhhh" that wouldn't be out of place in a Beach Boys song. I appreciate it - it's clearly not part of the song that I've devoted much attention to in the past, and it made for a refreshing break in an otherwise very full-on song. The guitar is also kind of a mess, in a good way - it even seems to out of tune at one point, in what's probably a first? It's a cool effect, and I hope we see more songs doing this!

Yeah, more generally, I can really see how this was influential - it's just very good at synthesising trends we've seen elsewhere, all with a catchy beat and lyrics that stick in the brain, partly through sheer repetition! Good job, Elvis.

A Woman in Love - Frankie Laine (1)

This reached Number 1 and Hound Dog didn't. Huh. Sometimes the charts baffle me.

Not that this is a bad song at all. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I quite like it, and particularly, I quite like the way it changes halfway through from a tango into a swing song. This means that we start with horns and drums and strings, as well as what sounds like an accordion? It sounds like something you'd hear on the streets of Buenos Aires, in a good way - and then suddenly, the rhythm's changed and we've got a double bass doing something cool. It shouldn't work, but the transition's smooth and well done, and it just kind of flows.

Frankie's also on fine form here, all smooth and seductive as he sings about how Your eyes are the eyes of a woman in love. It's the sort of line that could come off as a smug sort of "I just know you like me!" in the hands of a less skilled performer, but Frankie mostly just sounds appreciative as he continues, singing about how no moon in the sky / Ever lent such a glow, and wishes may they gaze ever more into mine. Which is just cute. He's got his love rumbled, and he just really loves her eyes, okay?

It's a good song, just on its own merits, but I'm also now seeing that it was apparently from a musical? Which I can also absolutely see - it was apparently written for the 1955 film version of Guys and Dolls, a musical about a gambler and a mission worker falling in love, and I can really see this tune advancing the plot well, even if wasn't in the original stage version of the show. It was sung by Sinatra, in the film, but Frankie's version has its own glamour, and did best in the UK.

It's almost a shame this is up against Hound Dog, because honestly, this is also a pretty great tune.

Yeah, I liked both of those. Still, one felt way more forward-looking, and has clearly had more influence through the years. Also, I really enjoyed the hand clapping and distorted guitar.

Favourite song of the bunch: Hound Dog

[littlecafe]

asdfhakal okay yes hi HELLO it has been SO LONG ㅠㅜ I missed you and your playlists (*˙˘˙*)!♡

off topic and ik you didn't ask but the chokehold ONEWE and ONEUS has on me rn is no joke

actually I can lead this on topic, would love to see a playlist of your current faves!

hi!! omg yes it's been so long!! you took a hiatus for a while right? i missed seeing you on my dash (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

ohhh i was thinking of making a playlist with just current favs so i'll do this and @ you in the post when it's up since it might take a few days, i'm currently in my "building a new listening to playlist" phase bc i'm tired of my old one rip

asfjhsdjfdsf no i totally get the music chokehold bc that's me too like sometimes i'll be super obsessed with like one or two artists and start listening to them on repeat

onewe and oneus aren't in my current music rotation but i do like quite a few of their songs!! i was really into onewe's single "memory: illusion" when it came out, all 3 songs on there *chef's kiss* and i'm going to derail this convo so hard but for some reason the mixing on that single!! it felt so clear (ramblings in read more, tl;dr go see ur fav kbands live if you can!! there is a reason why live band music sounds better bc i feel production aren't doing most of them justice)

idk if you're interested but i came across this the other day (i haven't even watched it yet lol) but someone subbed some parts of the naver now yoon sang's "music to you" kband bassist special cya was on (the other two bassists are lucy's wonsang and cnema's jeongho)

rambling because sometimes i just need to word vomit my thoughts, disclaimer i do not claim to know anything i'm talking about and everything is purely anecdotal

but anyways!! i honestly cannot tell you why i loved the mixing of that single so much, maybe it's mediocre mixing i wouldn't know but i just felt like i could actually HEAR things for once like it was crisp and actually had depth to the songs

usually in kband mixing a lot of the lower range instruments aren't loud enough on the track so you end up hearing a lot of vocals and guitar and some drum taps, every now and then bass but usually only if the song or part was meant to highlight bass....and the worse part of all this is that sometimes even the guitar is muddy which makes the song sound flat because you're missing those lows

like you know i love them and this just proves that "bad" production will never stop me if i like the song but the mixing on most of day6's songs were not very good......

an example (youtube links so the audio will not be top notch due to youtube compression but i think you can tell anyways): sweet chaos official audio vs sweet chaos live

already from the beginning you can tell the deeper sound from dowoon's drums aren't captured at all in the official audio like it's already muddied when that's the highlight of the opening it's literally just him and mtr how can u already mess this up

fast forward to the chorus, you can 100% hear youngk's bass sound better in the live than in the audio where you have to squint with your ears to even try to guess if you're hearing bass or just guitar under their vocals

in the live you can also clearly hear the difference in the two guitars when jae does lead and sungjin does rhythm, while it's all muddied together in the audio like if i'm being real, i can't even hear the lead guitar parts in the audio tbh like where did it go, in the live you can hear all the small tidbits and how he plays along to the melody line under the vocalist at parts in the chorus

same thing with the outro as the intro but this time with the bass, it's really buried and softened under the vocals on the official audio when you can clearly hear it in the live version (and as you should? because it's the only instrument being highlighted here other than vocals and some mtr)

also ftisland, for pure example purposes because from what i remember the mixing is actually great, don't search it up if it makes you uncomfortable knowing that j*nghoon has credits for lyrics and composition of this song (fuck him fr im glad ftisland disowned him publicly) but their song shadows (japanese release) was mixed by Josh Wilber who has led production for multiple metal bands so that audio actually came out GOOD

this song is pretty grungy, especially in the chorus but i felt like nothing got lost on the audio, the two guitars, the bass, the drums, obviously the vocals too it's all there it's like magic asjhfkdsf to me it sounds even more clear than their live albums (yes i know these go through a whole production too so it still will never top being there LIVE and hearing it as they play with your own ears)

ftisland's mixing is hit or miss but i don't mind it i just wanted to talk about that one specific song since it was mixed by someone who actually worked with heavy rock based music

so yea anyways the mixing for kbands can sometimes leave a lot to be desired and it makes me happy when i feel like i can hear more sounds i feel like production is so underrated since we know the lyricists, composers, arrangers but no noise for post production

i'm pretty sure that's why all of them sound infinitely better live like even without all the concert remixes and crowd hype they can be playing the damn song with no changes from the audio and it will sound better just because you can actually hear the instruments in their fullness

so this is a psa to go see ur favorite band playing live if you can!!

obviously mixing/post production applies to all music even if i'm only rambling about bands here asjhksdfds

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Oakland Coliseum Arena in Oakland, CA, USA - September 7, 1982 (Part-1)

(x)

The band are in great form tonight, full of vitality and passion. Only the intro of Rock It is performed from now onward. When the vocal is expected to re-enter after the rhythm section joins in, the band jump into the first verse of the fast We Will Rock You. John Deacon's bass solo after the second chorus is aggressive, and overall the band are clearly happy to be playing the longer version of the song again - although they do have a bit of trouble getting out of the middle section together, but they recover well. Freddie offers a great version of Play The Game. After the song, he has a word with the enthusiastic audience. "So here we are, back again in Oakland after a long time. Has everybody been keeping okay since we've been away?" Naturally everyone says "yeah", and Freddie replies, "Bullshit!" He continues, "Anyway, we have a lot of new songs for you since we were here last, and this next one is a song for all the girls here tonight, you know what I mean? The real girls. If you've got tits or if you haven't got tits it don't matter." The girls quickly stop cheering as Freddie is just trying too hard when he actually doesn't have to. He attempts to recover, "You just don't understand English. It doesn't matter. This is a Roger Taylor composition [the mention of Roger's name gets the girls screaming again] entitled Calling All Girls." Just before the first chorus of the song, Freddie adlibs, "I've got a message for you babe!" After the second chorus, following "take a message of love for all to hear," he adds to the energy with a few spontaneous words: "Have you got it? Can you hear it? Can you feel it?" Tonight is the first known performance of the Hot Space rocker Put Out The Fire, segueing from the vocal improv of Now I'm Here (Freddie doesn't have the lyrics perfected yet, which suggests it hasn't been performed too many times - fan club magazines from the period say the song was performed as a standalone piece earlier in the tour). After the second chorus, the band seamlessly jump into Dragon Attack. The combination of these three songs seems to recall the medley idea that had been dropped in 1981. After Now I'm Here, Freddie challenges the audience to one of his usual vocal duels. For the first time, he is heard singing "Dee do de de", something that would become part of the lyrics of "Living On My Own" off his first solo album in 1985. Shortly thereafter, after an "alright" that's held for a few seconds, he shouts, "You can do it!" in encouragement, after which he says, "Not bad! It's amazing what you will do if you're pushed." He really takes a liking to this audience. During the next song, Save Me, instead of singing the line "I love you 'til I die," he speaks the words "I love ya", and during the three quiet beats leading into the first chorus, he quickly and poignantly adds, "don't forget it!" Freddie once again dedicates Fat Bottomed Girls to "people who like fucking a lot." In the second verse of Crazy Little Thing Called Love, he modifies a lyric to say "she knows how to fuck and roll." One can draw their own conclusions as to where Freddie Mercury's mind was at on this tour. He turns in a very passionate version of Bohemian Rhapsody (despite not being in full voice by the end of the show), where everything seems to come home to him. Only he knew what the song really meant, but plenty have suggested that the proverbial man being killed in the first verse as told to his mother is his former self that had not yet come to terms with his sexuality. A clash of worlds in 1982, if that's the case. Matt Granz (also with a story from San Francisco '77) fondly shares his memories of this show here:

“This photo is from Queen's last Bay area show ever with Freddie Mercury. With the new direction that they took with the album "The Game" Brian May stated that Queen had "gained the world, but lost America". I think that after they played a Los Angeles gig or two after this particular show that they never did come back to the US. That is truly sad since they were one of the most charismatic of all rock groups to ever play on a stage. This concert was no exception! This photo was taken during Brian's echo solo. The three lights backlighting Brian belonged to one of two manned light pods that followed him around the stage. It was a spectacular effect!

The friend I went to the concert with (who's name I can't even begin to recall) took his SLR 35mm and I took a pocket fixed focus... after seeing me lament over the bad quality of my images he took mercy on me and sold me this memory as an 8x10 B&W Glossy that I kept secured in a folder... and just recently rediscovered and decided to digitize these many years later. My own pics from the concert all came out underexposed... drat! His SLR had some great lenses and he had his own darkroom. He also had great access to many good spots to shoot from.

By the way… remember the days when you didn't need a press badge to bring a camera to a concert? What happened??? Lawyers, I'll tell ya... Lawyers.

The story behind the Flying V being utilized was that at the very onset of his Echo solo, Brian busted a string on the "Red Special". He waked backstage and then shortly reappeared with this guitar. The sound was quite different. After the solo was done fifteen minutes later, he took back his own guitar and proceeded to use it for the rest of the show. It was pretty unusual to see him playing this and (besides the Tele he plays on Crazy Little Thing Called Love for the songs' first solo) have not seen him play another electric besides his main axe that he and his father made.

I was pretty poor at the time, but I liked this photo enough to buy it because of the before mentioned spectacular lighting and the fact that Brian is playing a Flying V.

Though I was not a fan of The Game, this concert was superb! I came to see Brian (being a guitarist myself) and was amazed at how distracted I was by the rest of the band. They were flawless that night and the floor seats I snuck into... 20 rows from the stage... provided the perfect viewing experience. The light show was also the best I had ever seen as well, in that it didn't distract from the music or musicians but rather pulsated perfectly with the beats and saturated the stage with great color combinations.

Freddie, Brian, Roger & John all had the whole auditorium held by the throat from the very start of the show till the last fading notes of "God Save the Queen". Sheer Excellence!” Most of the photos were taken by Sean Trend. A few of the pictures show Brian with the Gibson Flying V, as he had played in East Rutherford last month. But this time he begins his solo with the Flying V, as confirmed by someone who attended the show. Brian, in disbelief, later commented on this: http://www.brianmay.com

“Well, I'm shocked. I definitely would have sworn that I never played a solo live with a Flying V. I played around with them, but mainly at home, except for one video appearance for "Princes of the Universe" in which I'm obviously not really playing!!!

Cheers Bri”

(x)

Part-2

[success-and-corruption]

Macabre Album Review

DEG's second album! Oh yeah!

Track 1: Deity

This first track is definitely very interesting. It starts with a sleigh bell and then quickly turns into ominous chanting of some sort. Very spooky but also very different from their previous work which shows how versatile these five musicians are. The chanting eventually stops and we're met with heavy guitars and bass with Shinya playing a steady beat and Kyo vocalizing with a woman’s voice eerily making sounds. It sounds like he's gasping for breath (see what I did there)? That section ends and a clean guitar is played for a few seconds before the song goes back to the heavy riff after the chanting but this time Kyo sings in Russian to the tune of Johannes Brahms' "Fifth Hungarian Dance." This song definitely feels very religious to me which I suppose fits because the case for Macabre has prayer (?) beads in it.

I think Deity showcases DEG’s experimental side and sets the foundation for the rest of the album and it shows that DEG took a very different turn and became a bit darker.

Track 2: Myaku

Is this track in 3/4? 4/4? 5/4? 6/4?

Yes to all of the above. In the booklet it's indicated that this song was written by DIR EN GREY so no individual member wrote it specifically but the band definitely had some fun with time signatures in this one. Myaku was released as a single which is a bit different from the album version but I'm not reviewing the single. This song definitely departs from their late 90s VK sound which in my opinion is a good thing as it showed that DEG wanted to become more serious musicians. Plus, this track has one of my favorite basslines but I never got around to learning how to play it. Myaku is a chaotic song but it fits very well with Macabre.

Track 3: Wake/Riyuu

My boy Die does it again. This song is one of my favorites on the album and despite it being written by a guitarist, Toshiya’s bass really drives this track but we can’t forget the soaring guitars in the beginning and in the chorus. Kyo’s vocals are also great. Fantastic rhythm, instruments that all work very well together, and Kyo’s clean vocals? What’s not to like? This song really gets me moving for some reason. Not nearly as chaotic as Myaku, but Wake/Riyuu provides a nice structure and a consistent time signature (4/4) which is good contrast in my opinion. 

Track 4: Egnirys Cimredopyh +) An Injection

Everyone probably knows this by now by  Egnirys Cimredopyh = hypodermic syringe backwards. Despite that, this song isn’t about intravenous drug use. Kyo references a “white powder” a lot in this song and in one part of the song he sings “I started to speak to the wall with my lower half” (of course he sings that in Japanese) so I think this song is about abusing a drug called kakuseizai and... ejaculating onto a wall? To my knowledge cocaine isn’t very popular in Japan and kakuseizai (roughly translated to “stimulant” in English) is a type of methamphetamine that is used to improve pleasure during sex. Anyway as the lyrics progress it’s clear that the person in the song is battling between his good and bad side. They’re aware that their drug use is stripping them of their sanity but can’t stop and eventually gives in and “kills” the good side. In regards to the musicality of the song, again I really like the bassline (probably because I play bass) but the solos in the song, both bass and guitar, are seriously lacking in substance for me. However the rest of the song is fun to move around to i.e. it has a nice rhythm. 

Track 5: Hydra

“I wanna be an anarchist”

“Dead born”

“Sid Vicious, suspicious”

What are those lyrics??? This song is another experimental one with electronic sounds throughout. It’s also fast-paced and has another chant near the end of the song that breaks it up nicely. Lyrically there’s not much I have to say but this song is definitely one of DEG’s most interesting sounding. I’m sorry that I don’t have more to say. 

Track 6: Hotarubi

Hotarubi... what a beautiful song. It was very clearly written by Shinya. This track is, in my opinion, one of DEG’s best ballads but I think it goes on for too long but that’s just a very minor complaint. The strings complement the rest of the instruments and the part from 2:40-3:42 is stunning, with a surprising violin solo and a woman breathily vocalizing. Everything in this song works so well together except for the loud buzzing halfway through and Hotarubi never fails to evoke an emotional response within me. If it weren’t too long for my liking I would listen to it on repeat. At a certain point I just get bored. Also I think this song would be better suited towards the end of the album where the songs become more melodic.

Track 7: 【KR】cube

I’m not sure what【KR】cube means but what a fun song. Toshiya starts it out with that funky bass that we all know and love and then it transforms into a fast-paced song with a very nice rhythm on the guitars and Kyo’s clean vocals come in which is always nice to hear. I like the speed and rhythm of this song as it offers a pleasant difference from Hotarubi which is a very slow song. The chorus is very catchy as well 

Kururi, furari, fuwari, kurari

Kururi, furari, fuwari, kurakurari

and so on. The music video is fun for this one. We love Hitman Die. 

Track 8: Berry

This song is easy to figure out from the beginning dialogue of an English girl apologizing but then promising to blow her parents’ head off like raspberry jam (spoiler: she does at the end of the song). This one has more of a punk vibe and it’s kind of a fun song. What I can say is that I’ve never heard a song that features parents yelling at a child as part of a breakdown. It’s a good song but in my opinion it doesn’t really fit with the Macabre sound.

Track 9: Macabre -Sanagi no Yume wa Ageha no Hane-  

WOW what a song this is. I believe that this eleven minute prog rock masterpiece was the first song I learned on the bass (go big or go home). I love Shinya’s drums in the beginning and as soon as the other instruments come in you just know you’re in for a journey. This song has a great composition with all of the instruments and vocal layers but I suppose I should get into the specifics. The beginning (after the drums) starts with guitars that, in my opinion, portray a certain sadness while the bass drives the the song. Kyo’s voice is great in this one and also portrays that same sadness. After the first two verses clean guitars come in which is a nice contrast from the beginning but this song truly comes alive during the instrumental breakdown where there’s a guitar playing a repeating riff while insects buzz and a church organ plays in the background. It then switches to Kaoru and Die playing the same notes but alternating between electric and acoustic guitars. The breakdown ends with a very beautiful solo and Kyo singing in a higher register and making slurping sounds which makes sense if you follow the lyrics. There’s a bass solo which is always nice to hear. 

I think I’ve written too much about this song so I’m going to go on to...

Track 10: Audrey

What exactly were they trying to accomplish here? Country rock? It doesn’t fit with the album and it doesn’t even fit with DEG’s sound in general. I never listen to this song so I don’t have much to say about it. 

Track 11: Rasetsukoku

This song fits much better with Macabre, but only marginally. It’s definitely more speed metal which at this point in DEG’s music career hasn’t really done. It’s fun to listen to but the composition is quite simple and it tends to be sort of repetitive. I do like the bass in the beginning but the guitars in this song are kind of boring to me.  Maybe I should give it more credit. 

Track 12: Zakuro

I have mixed feelings about this song. It’s very emotional but maybe too emotional. It starts out kind of slow but I like Kaoru and Die’s parts in the beginning because they harmonize very well. I think this song has one of the most beautiful guitar solos they’ve ever written and it conveys the sadness that is the central focus of this song. My problem with it (and it’s a minor one) is that it’s definitely better live. 

Track 13: Taiyou no Ao

Another favorite on this album. Once again there’s a great bassline and while the song itself sounds sort of like a pop song the lyrics are rather sad. The prominent bass complements the guitars and if Shinya wanted a workout routine he could play this song a few times and he would get pretty buff. Can you imagine a buff Shinya? Neither can I. It just seems like his drums never stop for almost the entire song. It’s a nice way to close the album because it contrasts with the very dark-sounding Deity and it leaves me feeling good, albeit a bit sad because of the lyrics.

So that’s it. Can you tell I got a bit tired near the end? All in all I give this album 7/10. It’s a great album but there are some real duds in my opinion but it’s not my least favorite by any stretch. I’ll be reviewing all ten albums so you’ll find out which one I like the least...

As always feel free to comment your thoughts! I would like to connect with my followers a bit more.

[let-them-read-fics]

Back To You

Pairing: Lisa x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,266

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Some Fluff, Some Smut / Suggestive Themes, Some Swearing

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! This one is based loosely on the songs “Everytime” by Ariana Grande and “Oh My God” by (G)I-DLE. (Total bops, ikr?) There are some *spicy* moments in here, so prepare yourselves. Nothing too crazy, but it’s definitely something new for me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it; feel free to let me know what you think. Happy reading!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

As Lisa watched you from the back of the room, her drink being clutched tighter in her hand with each passing second, she attempted to control her emotions. The current song’s strong beats pulsed throughout the house, the bass sending vibrations out across the floor. She watched as you spun around, leaning back and grinding slightly on whatever new person had been brave enough to approach you. Their hands were all over you, gripping your hips, your hair -- everything. The sight made her sick, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of you.

“You okay?” Jennie asked, raising her voice loud enough for her friend to hear. Upon seeing the dejected look on Lisa’s face, she followed her gaze; just as her eyes landed on you, your dancing partner leaned in to press a kiss to your neck. Your head was tilted back, granting them access; Jennie knew that Lisa would be crushed.

"Totally." She seethes, clenching her jaw and rolling her eyes as you're bent over again. 

Not even 10 minutes ago, she was the one dancing with you. The past hour had seen you two out there, bodies pressed close together, free in the rhythm. 

But she lost you the second that she left to get a drink: everyone who had been waiting for the chance to dance with you took this as their opportunity. 

Upon seeing her best friend so miserable, Jennie began to regret inviting you in the first place. The girls love Lisa more than anything and they want to see her happy; clearly, though, whatever you share with Lisa is anything but healthy. Every time they voice their concerns, she swears she knows what she's doing -- that she's capable of handling herself. It doesn't take a genius to see that she's not fine, but they do owe you some credit; she's seen some of her happiest times because of you. The only thing Lisa is certain of is that she can never seem to leave you. Anytime she thinks she's managed to let go, you're calling again, effectively pulling her back in. The situation is complex, feelings and fears mixing together in a deadly combo. 

After a while, Jennie convinces her to spend some time with the girls outside by the firepit in hopes of taking her mind off of the situation. She agrees, and soon she's genuinely enjoying herself again. 

~~~~~~~

Why, out of every other room possible, did she have to walk into this one? It's almost karmic, to the point that Lisa wonders if maybe she did something so unbearably heinous in a past life that she might be deserving of such punishment. She was simply looking for the restroom; never did she expect to witness this. 

Perhaps you haven’t noticed her presence yet -- you're in someone’s lap, half naked with your hair mussed and lips swollen, your motions never ceasing for a second. Standing there, catching you in the act, Lisa's torn -- should she slip away and pretend like she never saw that? Or should she burst in and interrupt you? 

Before she has time to react, the decision is made for her.

From outside the door, just a little bit down the hallway, another partygoer shouts out a slurred phrase to their friend, falling to the ground in a drunken heap. The sound catches your attention (considering it was loud enough to be heard over the music blasting from downstairs) and you look up. Lisa’s eyes meet yours halfway, neither of you knowing what to do at that point. She visibility tenses before muttering a quick sorry and shutting the door. Shit.

Your current hook-up is too busy leaving marks on your neck to even acknowledge what happened, their hands gripping your waist as they pull you in closer. While part of you wants to go after her, your mind is still clouded with desire -- your body overrules your better judgement, prompting you to continue on. You attempt to push the thoughts of Lisa from your mind, but every time your head is thrown back in pleasure, eyelids fluttering closed, the image of her sad eyes flashes before you. Why did she look so upset?

Lisa’s heart is breaking. After making her way down the stairs, she throws a goodbye to her friends over her shoulder before walking out. What the two of you have was never supposed to be complicated; quite the opposite actually. Neither of you can deny the energy you share -- the connection you feel anytime you're together-- but you aren't ready for a relationship. Lisa's always said that she isn't either, but it's a lie every time; she doesn't want to tie you down or hold you back from experiencing everything life has to offer, but she wants more with you. 

She prides herself on being a strong woman, tough in the face of difficult situations. But the one thing she can't seem to get over is the fact that you're intimate with other people. It's not a new discovery by any means, but in the past she could always pretend like it wasn't true when the sadness would come on especially strong. After finding you like that at the party, though, she clearly can't do that anymore. 

Once the two of you are finished, they quickly exit the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. With them gone, you can finally breathe and take a minute to think about what happened. Why do you feel guilty? Lisa has made it clear that she's okay with what you have going on, but yet something in her gaze told you the opposite. The way her face fell, brows knitted sadly, eyes cast to the floor -- it all sold her out, her real emotions on full display. 

~~~~~~~

Two Days Later

"Can I come over, baby?" The pet name felt a bit foreign on your tongue now, almost as if you didn't have the right to use it after what happened. 

She knew the words were coming, but she still felt her stomach flip at them. A simple "Mmm," came through the phone as your answer, and you soon set off for her apartment. You could tell she was trying to sound the same as always, attempting to disguise the uncertainty in her voice as indifference. 

~~~~~~~

*Knock Knock*

The second that the door opens, you begin to apologize. 

"Lisa, I'm sorry that you had to see--"

The feeling of her mouth on yours silences you, catching you completely off guard. Wasn't she upset? Despite the confusion, you don't move away; you allow her to pull you into the room, melting into her embrace as she pushes you up against the door. 

The logical part of your brain is begging you to wait, to talk about what happened that night, but you can't find the strength to step out of her hold. Gently, her nails graze over your skin, mindlessly tracing little patterns as her soft lips press to your jaw. 

Her hands swiftly snake under your shirt, caressing the warm skin of your abdomen, and she lifts her head to kiss your lips. After spending so much time with Lisa, you're able to read her well; every touch, tremble, and move has its own meaning, successfully communicating the thoughts that she could never say out loud. Her body never lies to you, and you consider it a trusted source for that very reason. With that in mind, you make a mental note to pay attention so that you might gain some insight into what she's feeling. 

After stumbling blindly into the living room, she walks you backwards until your legs hit the couch; with a shove, you're sent falling backwards onto the soft cushions below. Her darkened eyes peer down at you, scanning over every inch of your body. Once her gaze settles on your face, she smiles widely; you're already turned on, and she's proud of herself. The air of the room thickens as she licks her lips, signalling for you to take your clothes off. She reciprocates before joining you, hovering over your form. Her hair falls into your face, gently tickling your cheeks and lightening the mood momentarily; the action draws a giggle from you, and she grins at the sound. No matter how upset she was, how hurt your previous actions made her, she would forever be under your spell. 

The aura around you shifts back to its initial, tense state, thrilling you to your core. She bites your lip, granting herself more access as she nudges your legs apart with her knee. The feeling of her toned thigh connecting with your center sends you reeling, but she's quick to muffle your moan with a kiss. Every little move from her drives you crazy, only fueling your desire more. One of your arms wraps around her waist, aiding her movements on your thigh, while your other hand comes up to tangle in her hair. With a tug, you begin kissing down her neck, leaving dark marks on the tender skin there. Your actions pull a low groan from her, and you almost grow arrogant; your ego is soon put in check when she grinds further down onto you, her hips settling into a smooth rhythm. Your knees go weak at the sensation, your stomach tightening with each push and pull of her body against your own.

The pleasure rushing through you causes your eyes to flutter closed, mind only on Lisa. Your head falls back onto the cushion, and she jumps at the opportunity to gently -- teasingly -- wrap her fingers around your neck, the slightest bit of pressure added. "You like that, baby?" It's a rhetorical question: she knows you enjoy it, especially with the way that your pulse quickens beneath her fingertips, your skin heating up. She watches as your eyes peek open the slightest bit, only to widen upon seeing the lustful look she's giving you. Knowing that your words would surely fail you, you instead nod furiously, determined to answer her question anyway. 

Her other hand travels up your stomach, past your ribs, and eventually lands on the material on your bra. In one motion, she has it off of you, sending it flying across the room with a flick of her wrist. When you shift your leg, brushing it harder up against where she needs you most, her breath hitches and her movements speed up. "Fuck, Y/N," she whines out.

"L-lisa…" The word is a mix between a stutter and a sigh as it slips past your lips; the very ones that are swollen and red from her fervent kisses. Seeing you like this -- watching you slowly come undone right before her, squirming and calling out her name -- is one of her favorite pastimes. She wants nothing more than to be the only one who has the privilege of seeing this show. You've drug her under completely, leaving her no possible way of escaping the love she has for you.

The couch creaks beneath you, its springs being worn down with every thrust of Lisa's hips, and the lewd sounds you're both letting out echo across the apartment. Surely her neighbors can hear what you're up to, and perhaps that should matter; it doesn't, though, at least not right now. 

By the way she's pouring her all into it, giving you everything she has, you know she's hurt. She's trying to prove something to you, to show you how good she can make you feel. 

You match her energy, both of you spending the next while pulling out all the stops to bring each other to release.

~~~~~~~

Deep maroon paints the dusky sky, streaks and hues of yellow and orange mixing in here and there. From your position on the couch, the curtain is parted just enough to give you a glimpse of the brilliant summer evening. The two of you must've fallen asleep after your third round, considering how much later it is and how rested you feel. Lisa’s skin is warm against your own, her body cradled in your arms underneath the blanket. With this peaceful set-up laid out before you, you decide to put your head back again and relax.

A few minutes later, quiet sniffles against your chest snap you out of your post-sex haze, causing you to quickly reposition yourself to look into Lisa’s eyes. 

"What's wrong, jagi?" 

Her eyes shut at the name now, tears wetting her long lashes at the action. How many other people have earned that titled? The thought of you holding anyone else like you're holding her right now breaks her heart.

"Don't you know?" She asks sadly, voice soft.

"I think so, but I need you to tell me." Sensing that this conversation will be a serious one, you sit up fully so that you can face her. 

"I want to be with you, Y/N. I can't share you anymore." She dives right in, sick of always beating around the bush. This isn't the first time she's tried to make you aware of her feelings, but in the past she's always relented, chalking her confessions up to simply being caught up in the moment. Her tone lets you know that this time will be different, though. 

"Lisa, we've talked about this--" The words come out sounding tired, but you're not sure what it's more directed towards: her and this recurring argument, or yourself. Perhaps a bit of both, seeing as how they're interconnected in many ways -- you're the root cause of the issues. You're tired of reminding her of your agreement, always having to be the one to crush her spirits time and time again; but what's more, is that part of you is tired of fighting your feelings for her. 

She's perfect, even in the ways that she isn't, and you know you don't deserve her because of that. You're a deeply flawed individual, too much of a coward to face your feelings and be honest. All you've ever known is running, and the idea of being open and vulnerable with someone so important to you isn't something you can deal with. You've tried pushing her away -- keeping her at arm's length, hoping she'll see that she deserves better than you -- but it never works. You're far too selfish to give her up completely, and she's too in love to leave. 

"Don't say it," she pleads, fresh tears being wiped away as soon as they fall onto her skin. 

"Why am I so special, huh? You could have anyone in the world and you choose me? I'm a nobody; I have nothing to offer you." The words are whole-heartedly earnest, honestly surprising you a bit. 

"I don't know why, Y/N. Don't you think I've questioned that myself?" 

You shake your head, taking a minute to gather your thoughts.

"Tell me that you don't feel the same. I need to hear you say it." Her tone is final, attempting to hold strong. She's trying to do this in order to move on, but both of you know it's futile. 

"I can't do that." You refuse to lie to her.

"Why, if you're only interested in me for sex?" You curse yourself for allowing things to get to the point that she'd believe something like that. 

"You've gotta be kidding me. I care about more than that, Lisa; I'm just trying to protect you." 

"From what?" She inquires, quirking an eyebrow as she crosses her arms. She's growing frustrated just like you; you can feel it.

"Me, damnit! I'm not good for you; can't you see that?" You're exasperated at this point.

"Why the hell is everyone such an expert on what's good for me? The girls, now you -- evidently everyone gets a say in it but me."

She has a point, so you tell her to continue.

"All I know is that I want you, Y/N. I wanna be the person you wake up next to, the first person you call when you have news to share; your person. I know you're far from perfect, but when have I ever asked you to be? You're a fucking mess, but I want every part of you." 

Did she really just say that to you? Your mind tries to process how the hell you managed to have such an incredible woman so ready and willing to not only stay by your side, but actively want to be there. No one's ever cared enough to be different; but Lisa is the difference that you've been searching for all along. She's seen your struggles; you've told her more about your past than anyone else, and somehow it's only made her want to stay more. How you had been such an idiot before is beyond you, but you can't put all of the blame on yourself. Having a person like her in your corner is rare; you're just happy you had this epiphany before you let her slip away.

She's looking into your eyes, intently searching for an answer in the deep pools as she waits for you to respond. The nerves that she's worked hard to suppress bubble up within, sending a sinking feeling to settle within her stomach. She holds her breath upon seeing you slowly lift your head higher, a special sort of twinkle in your eye.

"I'm so sorry, Lisa; for everything. You're the best person I know, and the absolute last person to deserve what I've put you through. I'm just scared. You're different than what I'm used to and I don't know how to deal with that. But I want you, too."

She can't contain the smile that works on her lips, tugging the corners up in the most adorable way possible. Her heart is soaring now, starting to feel like it's being repaired as she fully registers your words. She's been dying to hear you open up -- to let her in -- and it's finally happened. 

"Yeah?" She asks, seeking reassurance that this is really happening before she gets her hopes up.

"Yeah." You declare, reaching for her hand. "I'm ready to try." A gentle kiss is pressed to it, serving as your way of confirming your feelings. For some reason, kissing her hand has always felt sacred to you; thus, you only do it on special occasions. She's noticed that fact too, so it means so much more to her that you chose to do it now. 

"Come here." She utters, leaning back and opening her arms for you to join her. She wants to hold you. With a wide smile, you quickly do as she asks; her embrace is one of your favorite places in the whole world, and you'd never miss a chance to be in it.

Your head is on her chest, the sound of her steady heartbeat making its way to your ear, comforting you. She rests her cheek against the top of your head, taking in the tropical smell of your shampoo. I'll have to get her some more, she thinks to herself. She can't wait to spoil you.

Now, with the cosmos finally finding some semblance of harmony, the two of you begin your journey together. It won't be easy, but the love you hold for each other is too strong to let go to waste. Lisa’s shoulders are free of the previous weight they held, her heart no longer bound by the shackles placed on it. She's free to love you, to show you that you're worthy of a good, kind love -- the type that's patient and honest -- and she's never been happier. 

[spacemiddenzz]

so i was watching @super-metroid's stream of Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass (highly recommend by the way) and she fought Imaginary Numbers this time. I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, since it's my favorite boss and all. This is gonna be a longpost and it's gonna have spoilers so the whole thing can be found under the cut.

So, to put it simply, this dungeon is about stress and confusion. It's about Jimmy's mind frantically trying to comprehend the high-level math that Andrew is teaching him on top of his schoolwork. Jimmy thinks that his dad is the smartest man in the world- this is hyperbole for sure, but the fact that Andrew is quite intelligent remains clear. Jimmy looks up to Andrew because of his intelligence- and because of this it means a lot to Jimmy to be praised by Andrew. He wants his dad to view him as intelligent as well, because, if a man as smart as Andrew thinks Jimmy is smart, he can't be wrong! And hell, it feels nice to be validated by your parents.

Clearly, Andrew has already recognized Jimmy's talent with numbers and has started teaching him concepts beyond the second-grade curriculum, something that we see in the flashbacks in the Symmetrical Cavern. However if Imaginary Numbers' design is anything to go by, these concepts may be at or above the high school level. They're too much for Jimmy to understand. He's only eight, and his mind just isn't ready for that yet. Still, he feels the pressure to keep up with- and understand- the work that Andrew gives him. Why? Because he fears failure. He worries that if he admits to his father that the work is too hard, Andrew won't see him as a "smart boy" any longer- and that praise and validation means a lot to Jimmy. He doesn't want to lose it.

Let's start with the song that plays during this nightmare dungeon- Counting Backwards From Infinity. From the erratic bassline to the random samples of people shouting numbers in no particular order over and over again, this song simply screams disorder and panic. As a person who has always struggled with math, it's incredibly relatable. Counting Backwards From Infinity always reminded me of taking math tests in high school. I was so slow that I almost never could finish a test in a single class period. The frantic, wild bass and the cacophony of people screaming numbers out of order reminded me of trying desperately to remember how to solve a type of problem- and do it quickly enough so that I could hand the test in before the bell rang. I imagine that this is how Jimmy feels when Andrew places in front of him a concept that the boy does not fully understand. Perhaps he's had it explained to him several times but still can't fully grasp it (likely because, again, the kid is eight). The wild confusion and stress he feels when he doesnt fucking understand what's in front of him and doesnt want to look like an idiot in front of his dad. Even the name of the song is a reference to the fact that at this stage of his life this stuff may be an insurmountable task.

The dungeon itself is also set up in an incredibly confusing way. There's a bunch of bizarre-looking purple structures and winding paths. You teleport all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason. The enemies in this area, too, are deformed geometrical shapes that are almost Lovecraftian in the way that they cannot be understood. To Jimmy, Andrew's teachings might as be as comprehensible as a Lumpagon or a Squiggles, and that's definitely the idea that one gets here. The confusion, the pressure, the panic.

At one point in the dungeon you're teleported to a fakeout area that looks like the Path of Enlightenment. This is my favorite thing about the Asymmetrical Cavern, because of the fact that it has so many cool secrets, but also because it gave me a feeling that I could (once again) relate to. Jimmy's teleportation to the Path of Enlightenment isn't random. It represents familiarity in a sea of confusion. Jimmy sees something he recognizes during Andrew's lessons. Maybe he thinks that he's finally got the hang of it- that he's studied hard enough and now all of this jargon makes sense- only to be rudely awakened by the fact that he's been doing it wrong and never understood the concept in the first place. Even the secrets kind of hint at this. If you speak to pointman in this part of the dungeon he says "I am the blood of numbers leaking from your ears. The nails of ignorance are already being driven into your brain. What point is there in giving voice to madness?" (which is metal as fuck by the way)

Jimmy just thinks that his inability to understand makes him an idiot. His lack of understanding- the nails of ignorance- are being driven into his brain. If he can't understand all of Andrew's teachings, maybe he was never a smart boy after all.

And finally let's talk about Imaginary Numbers itself. First of all, it's an amalgamation of a bunch of different mathematical symbols, including a tombstone, a slashed epsilon, and a sigma. I'm sure there are more, but those are the only ones I recognized, honestly. Given that dreams don't really make things up, instead just taking things that you have seen/experienced before, it looks like Jimmy has encountered some... seriously advanced shit. Tombstones are used in geometric proofs. I only started doing proofs in high school geometry, meaning that Jimmy may very well be learning concepts meant for kids twice his age. No wonder the poor kid is stressed.

Oh yeah, also the boss sucks ass to fight. I've heard some people call that bad game design, but I'm not sure that's how I'd classify it. Sure, like I said, the boss sucks complete ass to fight and is almost entirely RNG-dependent. From a gameplay standpoint, this is wack as hell, yeah. Fucking 30% chance to deflect any magical or physical attack with a 30% chance to dodge a physical attack on top of that? Definitely bad game design. But from an artistic standpoint? Not at all. In fact, the futility of this fight adds to it. It really drills into your head that the only thing on your side here is pure fucking luck. And the odds aren't in your favor.

The feeling of futility- of the fact that this may in fact be, by all definitions, an insurmountable task for Jimmy, really struck home the situation. The battle would not be nearly as impactful without this. And personally, I'm all for it. Imagine walking into the Asymmetrical Cavern for the first time, not knowing what to expect. You get your ass handed to you on a silver platter by Imaginary Numbers after it chains Program Omega at you five times in a row.

That's the feeling Kasey wanted to give you. And it's critical. It's just... so perfect, I honestly don't know how to put it into words. It was supposed to represent the confusion and turmoil of a task nigh insurmountable. And it did the job pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.

I know Jimmy is good at numbers and this wasn't supposed to represent a real struggle with the subject of math/the concept of numbers in general, but hot damn if I didn't feel seen. Except Jimmy is eight but I was like 17 struggling in precalc with the same shit. I guess we know Jimmy's smarter than I am rip

TLDR; andrew please stop putting unnecessary stress on your kid youre freaking him out

anyway if you guys have any thoughts about this boss or this dungeon in general i would love to hear them. but where im at its like 2 AM so im probably gonna it the mf sack for now. later dudes

[oh-ranpo]

‘tis the season.

pairing: reggie x reader

an: so, I had the idea for this, and while it isn’t very long, I hope you guys like it! I’m just going to tag @n0wornever and @mamakitty187 since they responded to my post about it encouraging it to happen, so here it is! I hope you enjoy!

word count: 1.9k+

If you took one look around the city of Los Angeles, you would have no idea that it was nearing Christmas time. Sure, the city had their decorations up, but when you looked to the people, there was not an ounce of festive spirit to be found. You had no idea why everyone else was so hesitant to start spreading Christmas cheer, but you had been looking forward to celebrating practically since Halloween was over. You had refrained and made yourself wait until the first day of December to break out your favorite Christmas sweater, though it had taken everything in you to stay so patient. You thought that maybe other people might be feeling the spirit now that it was officially December, however, the second you stepped onto the bus that first morning to head to the mall, you realized that you had severely overestimated just how much everyone else loved the December holiday.

A few people gave you strange looks as you walked up the steps in your bright green holiday sweater, the front of which was covered in colorful tinsel and fake ornaments. It was your favorite sweater that you owned, and you had been quite proud of it when you put it on that morning. Now, you weren’t so sure that it had been the right choice. Everyone else was dressed in their nice winter coats and muted colors, and here you were, sticking out like a sore thumb on a public bus where people would be able to judge you for the next thirty minutes of your ride.

You kept your head down as you moved down the aisle towards the back where you had seen an empty seat, but just as you passed the second to last row, you heard a voice that was unmistakably directed at you.

“Hey, I like your sweater!”

You were surprised to hear the compliment from anyone on this particular bus, but when you looked up to find the owner of the voice, you immediately realized why it shouldn’t have been a surprise at all. The boy that had just spoken to you was smiling brightly, and it only took a second for you to see that he was also wearing a rather festive looking outfit himself. Only, his sweater was red and green striped with a reindeer on the front of it. When he moved, you could hear the faint jingling from the small bells that decorated the cartoon deer’s antlers, and an involuntary smile immediately spread across your lips.

“Thanks. I really like yours too,” you replied, gesturing slightly at his chest. The boy’s eyes fell down to look at his sweater, even though he was well aware of what he was wearing, and then he lifted his head again to give you another bright smile.

“Thanks! Did you… did you want to sit?” It was a rather forward question you thought, but there was an empty seat right next to him, and you figured if you were going to make it through this bus ride without too much more embarrassment, you might as well sit with someone who clearly had a mind that worked like yours. So, you nodded, and slid into the seat next to the boy just as he lifted his hand up for you to shake. “I’m Reggie, by the way.”

You looked at his hand for a moment before happily accepting it and giving him your name as well. You felt yourself relax as you settled in next to him, and even though you had felt like everyone was staring at you before, when you took another quick glance around the bus, you were relieved to see that no one was looking in your direction at all. Maybe you had been overreacting just a bit.

“So, where are you heading too?” Reggie asked, as he attempted to keep the conversation going. You felt bad for being so quiet, and when you looked back over at him, you smiled again.

“To the mall. I was trying to get some of my Christmas shopping done early. You know, to beat the really bad crowds.” Reggie’s face lit up as his body turned towards you even more.

“That’s what I’m doing too! Well, to get some things for my friends, anyways. We’re doing our gift exchange a little early, so I want to make sure that I can get them something good.”

The excitement on Reggie’s face was one that directly mirrored yours, and you felt lucky that you had stumbled upon someone with the same enthusiasm for Christmas that you did. In fact, you spent the rest of the bus ride talking about your Christmas plans, and while Reggie constantly brought up his friends, you couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t mention much about his family. You knew better than to press, as he was still a stranger, but you became more and more intrigued as the conversation went on.

You were disappointed when you reached your stop, but when you went to stand up and Reggie did too, you looked at him curiously, and another bright smile formed on his lips.

“Is this your stop too?” you asked, even though you probably should have figured it was. He had said that he was going to the mall, and this was the closest one on your route. It didn’t really make sense for him to stay on to head to one farther away, especially since he had been on the bus longer than you had.

“Yep! It looks like we aren’t getting rid of each other quite yet,” he replied happily, and you felt a stirring in your chest as you stepped into the aisle and made your way towards the front of the bus. You didn’t look to see if people were staring as you walked because now, you weren’t quite as self-conscious about it. With Reggie right behind you, you barely noticed anyone else.

“So, these friends of yours,” you started, as the two of you walked across the parking lot of the mall side by side. “What kinds of things are they into?” You were hoping that his previous comment meant that you weren’t going to be parting just yet, as you had become quite fascinated by the Christmas sweater boy.

“Well, we’re in a band and I know Luke is always in need of journals to write songs in, so I thought I would get him one of those. Alex and Bobby are a little bit harder, but I’m sure I’ll find something. I’ll know it when I see it.”

The fact that he was in a band was something that Reggie hadn’t mentioned yet, and it was something that peaked your interest even more. You loved going to local shows and small venues to see bands perform.

“You’re in a band? Really?” you asked excitedly, and once again, Reggie’s face lit up at the question. You could tell immediately that it was a subject he loved to talk about.

“Yeah! We’re called Sunset Curve. Tell your friends.” He added the last part with a quick finger-guns motion and you couldn’t help but laugh. His band wasn’t one that you could recall seeing, but either way, you loved his enthusiasm, and you were sure that was something that translated into his music.

You talked about the band and his music while you walked around various stores, and you learned that he played bass and while his band wasn’t well known yet, they had several gigs lined up in the near future.

“You should come to one,” he added as color filled his cheeks. You had just stepped out of one of the record stores located near the food court when he said it, and your steps hesitated a bit as you felt the familiar tug in your chest that you had experienced earlier when getting off the bus. You slowly looked up at him, and his eyes fixed on you, his cheeks a light pink at his rather forward suggestion. Not that it was the first one he had proposed that day.

“I’d love to,” you grinned, and relief flooded his features as you then started walking once again.

You had to admit, you liked spending time with Reggie. You had only met him a couple of hours before, but the fact that you got along so well made it seem longer. From an outsider looking in, you might not have guessed that you had just met on a bus on the way to the mall, and instead, you might have looked more like longtime friends doing their holiday shopping together.

“Thank you again, by the way,” you spoke about an hour later as you sat across from each other at a table in the food court. You had both already finished your shopping, so now you were recharging with some greasy mall food. Reggie tilted his head slightly in confusion at your words, encouraging you to explain yourself. “For saying something to me on the bus. Today has been a lot of fun, and I’m glad that I’m not the only one that seems to enjoy Christmas around here.”

Reggie’s expression softened as he smiled.

“Of course! I mean, I always have to appreciate a good sweater. Especially when the person wearing it is so…” His voice trailed off, and his eyes fell away from you as his face went red once more. Your heart jumped in your chest at his words, even though you weren’t sure how he was intending on ending that sentence.

“So… what?” you pressed. “So lost? So embarrassed? So-“

“Beautiful.”

His word caught you off guard, and you were sure that you looked incredibly silly as your mouth fell open slightly. It wasn’t really what you had been expecting, but a warmth spread through you when his eyes hesitantly lifted to meet yours. You didn’t know how to respond, and in the silence, it seemed that Reggie had taken your lack of response negatively.

“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that. I just…when I first saw you, I thought ‘wow’, and I wanted to say something sooner, but I didn’t want to come off creepy. But, it seems like I did that anyways, and I am so, so, so, sorry-”

“Reggie,” you cut in, breaking up his panicked rambling. His mouth immediately clamped shut at the sound of your voice, and his wide eyes locked with yours as he waited for you to continue. “I don’t think it’s creepy at all. I think it’s sweet, actually. I just… as you can imagine, I don’t have a lot of strangers randomly compliment me.”

“I actually can’t imagine that,” Reggie piped in quickly, causing another flutter in your chest. “And I’m not really a stranger anymore either, if you think about it.” He was right, and you couldn’t deny it. You had spent most of the day together at this point, and you had shared quite a bit of your lives with one another, so ‘stranger’ didn’t really fit the description anymore.

You were sure that you looked like quite the pair, sitting together in your bright Christmas attire, chatting over overpriced pizza and smiling like fools. However, even though you had started the day caring what people were thinking about you, when you were in the presence of the boy sitting across from you, you found that it didn’t matter anymore. Reggie was special, and it took you no time at all to realize it. You were especially grateful for ugly Christmas sweaters that day.

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin's 'Falling Slowly' and Film 'Once'- Analysis

Since the beginning, I’ve wanted to do an analysis on the song Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová, but since it was only mentioned twice (in Mark Date and Gavin’s Music and the Past Call), I thought it was going to be left at that. But because of the mention again in @cheri-translates' post, perhaps... there could be more to it. Because this song was made for the film Once, I had actually watched it earlier this year. I wasn’t going to post this analysis originally, but the trailer literally made me cry. After watching it with the knowledge from my first viewing, the trailer had a bigger impact on me that I didn’t expect. This allowed me to push on. Rewatching the film for this helped me realise some parallels between the film and Gavin’s history with MC, along with its song Falling Slowly. For me, the film was so heartfelt, vulnerable, honest and real. Just like the side that Gavin shows MC. It also had super hilarious moments that made me laugh so much while crying over the sad bits. Highly recommend this movie (if you don’t mind some occasional cursing!) Now I can say I’ve watched Once twice.

Below contains spoilers for Gavin's CN content (referring to Cheri's translations) and on the film.

“Your performance… was a miracle to me.” -Gavin

Once is a 2007 Irish romantic drama about two struggling artists in Dublin, Ireland. The film was turned into a musical and won various awards, with Falling Slowly winning at the Critics’ Choice Awards and the 2008 Academy Award for Best Original Song. This was on top of receiving a Grammy nomination. Once only had a budget of only $150,000 USD.

In an Interview with Glen Hansard (male lead), he stated that during the scene of Falling Slowly in the music store, director John Carney wanted this shot to be the centrepiece- just two musicians connecting through music. This scene where the actors first got together to perform and sing in harmony allowed the crew to maintain the perseverance needed to finish the film despite various major setbacks. (People kept buying the same piano in the music store featured because of this film LOL)

“The closest a non-musician will ever get to feeling what it feels like to write the song… or to discover… it was the most moving scenes of the film.” -The Interviewer

The first impression some viewers may have upon watching would be criticising the shakiness of the handheld cameras. However, the actual intention (from the ex-film student perspective that I had) was to give it a sense of realism. This film aims to depict more of real-life from the perspective of the main characters. Even the characters' names weren't disclosed as they were literally 'unknown artists' in everyday life. It was ultimately based on Carney’s own personal experience, while Hansard, wrote the music for the film.

“The movie is sad, funny, real, everything that life is and it gives you hope. It's about a moment that happens in life that may not come by again or may not last forever, but it just might have the greatest impact on you. I know I'll be watching "Once" again.” -A fellow Once viewer.

We are introduced to the male lead (Guy), playing the guitar and wanting to make it big with his music, who also fixes vacuums with his father for a living. He meets the female lead (Girl) and she bugs him into fixing her vacuum. In the beginning, he’s cold and doesn’t want to associate with her (especially after when she gives him 10 cents for his busking).

Look how grateful he looks-

Even when Gavin and MC met again after their separation, Gavin puts up a fragile guard in front of MC while protecting her from a distance, like in high school. And just like how Joe Zieja stated in his MLQC interview-

“Gavin is a really interesting character, especially when we first started out before he and the producer really had a relationship… Gavin’s very cold. He’s very business-like, he just wants to get stuff done. But it’s really neat to see Gavin’s shell melt over time as he develops a relationship with the producer.”

In the film, Guy finds out that Girl can play the piano, who learned it from her father before he passed. Turns out, Guy is heartbroken from his ex (who’s currently in London) who cheated on him. Girl tries to convince him to get her back with his songs.

Similarly, Gavin discovers MC’s music during his fall shown Campus Date, in the moments where he received his Evol. Gavin devotes his life to protect her.

(I also did a timeline of MC and Gavin’s high school history together here that also references these parts.)

*Casually dragging vacuum*

Together, they go to a music store and she plays Mendelssohn for him. Then finally, at 15:42 of the film, they start to play Falling Slowly.

(So good! So good!! When they start harmonising!!! No fancy editing or cuts- it’s just two artists and pure music.)

Through music, they connect with each other’s souls. Just like how MC saves Gavin with her music that fateful day. And soon enough, Gavin comes across MC playing another song in the music room.

That song was Falling Slowly. He doesn’t know the name of the song though, only remembering the melody. Later, he learns how to play the guitar because he liked it and thought that perhaps he could perform it to his special someone one day. Such moments had inspired Gavin to write and make his own songs then record them onto his CDs so that maybe one day she could listen to them.

A thought I had was that did Gavin hear the piano and decide to make a guitar version, only to figure out that he was the missing piece?

Even the music store owner was very impressed-

Just like how Gavin slowly begins to soften up to MC, in the film, the instrumental of Falling Slowly plays when Guy and Girl start to bond. Guy tries to talk to her more but she states that she “has responsibilities”. It’s revealed that she has a daughter at home and a husband still in the Czech Republic. Even so, together, they write and record songs for his journey to London- back to his ex and to pursue his dreams as a musician.

Later, they go out for a spin on his father’s motorbike- he even prepared another helmet for her (SPARKY 2.0??). He asks her to teach him how to say “how much do you love him?” in Czech when they talk about her husband upon finding out that she’s married. She replies with, “it is you I love” in Czech. But he has no idea what she said. (*Grips heart*)

He wants her to go to London with him, start a band, and sell out shows. But she can’t. The song they recorded together “When your mind’s made up” (I have this song on repeat) plays in the car as they drive to the beach before he leaves for London the next morning.

So, if you want something And you call, call Then I'll come running To fight and I'll be at your door When there's nothing worth running for

The music producer is clearly so impressed-

Together, they schedule a time to meet up just before he leaves for the airport. Guy waited all night till morning for her.

But she still doesn’t come. And that was the last time he ever saw her. Just like how MC wasn't able to see Gavin who waited the whole day before he left. This was shown in Old Days Date that I did a heart-gripping analysis on here.

Guy’s father had said, “make your Ma proud.” (*Cries upon remembering Gavin’s loving mother*)

In the end, still unable to reach her, Guy gifts Girl a piano. In the beginning, they had a conversation where they spoke about pianos being too expensive, hence why she kept going to the music store in order to be able to play. Even though they are both short on money, he still manages to buy her a piano- the same one they played Falling Slowly together.

And while the film comes to an end, Falling Slowly plays in the background while Guy is off to the airport.

*Dramatic power-walking*

This was a heartbreaking ending for the viewers because not only that they didn’t end up together, they weren’t able to see each other before he left. And it wasn’t disclosed why she couldn’t make it.

Nothing too fancy happens because again, this was to show a slice of real life, and this proves it to be more tragic and beautiful. It can’t really be described unless it’s experienced. And I had the chance of viewing it not once, but twice.

This film (and song) is important for Gavin and MC because, despite their complicated history of misunderstandings, he always wants to put their relationship first and make the most out of what they have now together. Girl had helped Guy achieve his record deal and pursue his dreams. She had done her part on his journey to becoming an artist and both had to part ways. Without her, he wouldn’t have been able to record his songs and leave. Likewise, without MC, Gavin wouldn’t be the man he is today (hence, Winter World). Gavin is very vocal about this as well.

Gavin lowers his head, and the light follows his movement, descending onto the scrapbook, illuminating every word he writes- “I’m very happy to have met you in the past.” -CN Mark Date

“It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. What matters is every moment I spend with you now.” -Sugar Figurine Phone Call

“Seeing you again is the best present I could hope for.” -The Best Gift Phone Call

"Even though I'm curious about the future as well... I care more about the present. For me, it's good enough to seize the day. As long as you're here. The next second will be everything I need. Protecting what I have now, is the best plan for the future." -School Legend ASMR

With Falling Slowly, it’s quite a straightforward, romantic song. Originally in the film, Guy wrote it about his ex-girlfriend so it does has some sad lyrics. MC didn't know how Gavin knew about it.

Teacher Zheng: Just now, MC mentioned that you play the guitar and bass incredibly. Could you let me hear it? It’d be best if the two of you could play together. I haven’t heard my Orchestra Leader play the piano in a very long time.

To be honest, this is not a “request” at all. If Teacher Zheng wants to hear it, I’ll definitely be willing to play for her. But Gavin…

I cast Gavin a probing glance, wondering if there’s a need to persuade him. To my surprise, he nods.

Gavin: I could, but I’m really not as skilled as she says.

Teacher Zheng: Haha that’s all right. I just want you to use your heart when performing. What’s important isn’t how good it sounds, but the heart.

Gavin: Could I borrow the guitar over there?

Teacher Zheng: Of course.

Basically shown in Mark Date, Gavin’s been preparing for this moment all this time. He already knows what song to play. And what’s so amazing is that the first instrument we hear is the guitar which leads the piano. Therefore, once Gavin plays his piece, MC would know what song it is and then join in with her piano. AND THEY WOULD SING TOGETHER.

Maybe it’s just my misperception, or the sunlight just happened to fall onto his eyes, but I keep feeling as though his eyes are even brighter than usual. It’s as though they are flashing with light.

This is a slightly melancholic song, but the moving light and wind seem to make it refreshing and clear.

🎶 Lyrics 🎶

It's a slower song to help listeners slowly take in the emotions, lyrics and main dueting instruments of piano and guitar with the occasional violin in the back. It's so simple, and yet so powerful.

The guitar has its solos and the piano appears more prominent in the chorus. In the beginning, it's just the guitar, with the piano joining in after.

[GUY & GIRL] I don't know you but I want you All the more for that Words fall through me and always fool me And I can't react And games that never amount To more than they're meant Will play themselves out

Gavin never got the chance to be close to MC in high school, so he showed his affection through other methods. He walked 10 metres behind her after school and was her silent guardian against those who had negative intentions towards her. In the library, he had tried to introduce himself to her, but she had already dashed off.

Before waiting for him to say the introduction he had rehearsed countless times in his heart, the girl had already uttered a “thank you” and hurriedly fled. -CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets

Gavin couldn't help but develop this softer side for her and didn’t know how to control it or express it other than doing things such as leaving strawberry milk on the piano and learning guitar in hopes of playing it for her one day.

Those "games" he's referring to were those things they did, such as MC smiling at him when crossing each others' paths in the hallways, and Gavin buying her hot drinks and only looking at her among the snowball fight chaos at school in the Winter. Gavin has no power over how everything will turn out, nor does he try to have complete control over it either.

"... I believe that some things are destined. Like..." -Gacha and Destiny Phone Call

[GUY & GIRL] Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time

This "sinking boat" of the relationship is what they're both trying to save. For Gavin, this could be suggested to be about himself.

In a split second, the noise ceases abruptly. After a moment of silence, whispers surface in the crowd. Vaguely, I can catch a few phrases.

“Bad.” “Fighting.” “Misfit.” -CN Mark Date

Gavin had a tough time in high school being the outcast, but MC kept him going, fighting in the name of justice. And had quite literally saved his life. She was his lighthouse when he was battling the rough waters back home. And MC- she was also his home.

“As he clenched his fists, a power deep down within awakened. It was a rapture of rebirth. A declaration of the end of darkness and the advent of the light.” -Campus Date

[GUY & GIRL] Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice You've made it now

Gavin wants her to realise his feelings, be around and talk to him more- and say "yes". But even so, he still gives her a choice not to, and would have to live with that. Gavin thought she already had when he departed and spent years thinking that her absence showed all of what had to be said.

[GUY & GIRL] Falling slowly, eyes that know me And I can't go back

Gavin's falling slowly for MC (compared to when he fell really fast before MC saved him LOL). Once he starts, he can and would never go back. He hopes that MC would see him the way he truly is.

MC: “I have one more thing to tell you. MC is a bit slow. She is not as good as you think, and will also be blinded by rumours…”

Gavin: “She’s a very nice person. What she thinks of me has nothing to do with anyone else." -Old Days Date

[GUY & GIRL] Moods that take me and erase me And I'm painted black

Gavin can't handle his feelings. (*Cries*)

After being in a daze in the piano room, he’d be in a daze in the library, continuously staring at the empty seat where MC used to sit, and I have no idea what he’s thinking about.

But I really didn't expect a person who sleeps in class to be in a daze in the library for an entire afternoon... Did Bro Gavin and MC have a fight recently? -CN Minor's Memos

[GUY] You have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won

He states that he understands that the girl had it rough, but if she was to be with him, she wouldn't get hurt. Gavin wants to be the one for her.

"MC, I want to make you happy forever. If... I hope that person is me." -First Year In-Game Birthday Visit

[GUY & GIRL] Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice You've made it now

[GUY & GIRL] Falling slowly, sing your melody I'll sing it loud

Gavin recognises MC's "melody", and urges her to sing (her presence) and Gavin will listen and follow, singing his one, too. Together they will harmonise.

[GUY] Take it all Oh, I played the cards too late Now it's gone

The song finally ends with both the guitar and piano, whereas at the beginning it was just the guitar.

This part is the most powerful and heartbreaking. Gavin regretted not giving the farewell letter to MC directly- from "playing the cards too late", then suffers the loss of her, her presence, and her melody.

But fortunately, in the end, Gavin successfully returned home- to MC.

"Want to play for a while tonight? I haven’t heard you playing the piano in a long time too.

If possible, I’d like to make a song request.

How about “Falling Slowly”?

We could sit by the window and play it together again." -CN Gavin’s Weekly Text - Piano Concert

Somewhere, Gavin is happily playing Falling Slowly with MC.

[evakuality]

There’s something not quite right about Matteo this evening; his eyes are shuttered and his face set in a way that’s unnatural.  Or at least in a way that hasn’t been natural for Matteo in so many months that David can’t even count.  When he raises a questioning eyebrow, though, Matteo just shrugs and drags the most unconvincing smile onto his face.  Seeing the way Matteo tries to force cheer sends small flickers of unease licking at David’s heels.  His heart squeezes, cold fear sneaking its way into his chest.  It’s stupid and he knows it’s stupid, but there’s still a small part of David that feels unloved and unloveable.  That part assumes the worst, that this is because of something he’s done.

The worst of it is that David can’t do what he usually does to get through to Matteo.  He can’t wrap him up in some sort of embrace and hold him until he’s ready to say something about whatever it is.  Around them, their friends are bubbly and chatty, overflowing with joy and laughter.  The tree in one corner is bright with sparkling lights, the candles on the wreath glimmer, and the rest of the space is filled with a dimmed glow from two lamps at the side of the room, allowing the strings of coloured lights placed high up along the walls - in a haphazard attempt at straight lines - to glitter and cast their colours onto the walls behind them.  Alcohol is flowing freely, and their guests all seem to be enjoying themselves.  It’s a party, long planned by an excitable Matteo and David in this their first home together, and as host David feels he has some responsibilities to their guests.  

Dragging his eyes away from Matteo, who has settled onto a couch near Jonas and Hanna, and looks like he’s taking at least some part in the conversation, David pulls on his own almost-certainly unconvincing smile and turns to the people nearest to him.  He keeps an eye on Matteo over the rest of the evening, drifting close every now and then to check on him.  Matteo always responds willingly enough, reaching out a hand to grasp David’s fingers as he passes, or leaning into a kiss pressed to his forehead or cheek.  

It quickly becomes clear that despite David’s brief anxiety that this is something he’s done, that Matteo is gaining some sort of strength from these small connections with David.  His smile always tips up into something more natural in the aftermath of each one.  But his mood doesn’t improve over time.  Indeed, he seems to settle further into some sort of melancholy.  He valiantly plays host, smiling at everyone, making small talk and refilling snacks.  But David can see the toll it’s taking on him, the weariness in his face, the way his smile slips when he thinks no-one is looking.  The slump of his shoulders as things clearly get too much.

David frowns as he makes his way into the kitchen with a small handful of empty bottles.  He’s finished tipping out the dregs and is just opening the fridge to see if there are more he can bring out to replenish the coolers they have scattered around the room, when he hears a slight cough from behind him.  He jumps, on edge from the worry he’s been feeling about Matteo, and the bottles rattle in the fridge’s door as it slips from his fingers and clatters closed as he turns to take in whoever has entered.

Face pale and eyes hooded, Matteo stands there.  He moves closer to David, who opens his arms in invitation.  Matteo falls into them, his breath huffing out against David’s neck as he wraps his arms around David’s waist and mutters something too low to hear clearly.  David lets his fingers tangle in Matteo’s hair, running soothing circles the way he knows his boyfriend likes, and slowly Matteo’s body relaxes, and the tight grip he’s had on David’s shirt loosens.

“You want to talk about it?” David offers.  He expects Matteo to step back and refuse because that’s what he usually does.  When there are other people, Matteo’s not usually keen to let out things that might shatter his peace.

Instead, Matteo’s breath stutters briefly and he nods against David’s neck.  “Yeah,” he breathes.  “But not here.”  He pulls back and indicates the kitchen with another nod.

“Okay,” David agrees, trying not to let his relief show that Matteo is willing to let him in to whatever is bothering him.  He’s glad they can talk now, and he knows they need to be alone for this, but he’s also aware they can’t really leave everyone here without them.  So he compromises, with a small laugh at the irony of what he’s about to say. “Balcony?” he suggests.

Matteo laughs, a small mirthless acknowledgement of the shared joke.  They’d chosen this place out of numerous others they’d seen just because it has a balcony that reminds Matteo of the one he’d had at the flatshare.  David teases him about the much better bathroom facilities they could have had in their second choice, but Matteo always remains adamant.  The balcony is worth it.

“Balcony,” Matteo agrees.  

Matteo makes his way through their bedroom to the doorway out to the balcony while David pauses briefly in the main room to let Laura and Jonas know where they are if they’re needed.  By the time he gets through and slips outside, closing the doors behind him to keep the heat inside the small apartment, Matteo has settled onto the small couch they’ve squeezed into the space.  His legs are propped up on the table in front of him and he’s looking pensively out over the city lying sparkling in front of them.

He looks up as David sits down next to him, grabs the cosy blanket they have so they can sit here on cooler nights like this one and spreads it over both of them.  His eyes are smudged with fatigue and dark circles bruise the skin under them.  

David sits there in silence, listening to the muffled sounds of the city below them, waiting for Matteo to speak.  Glancing sideways, David watches as he plucks anxiously at a long thread that’s sneaking out of the edge of the blanket.  It’s a long minute before he quietly says, “saw my dad today.”

“Oh.”

That makes sense of everything that Matteo has done since he got here this evening.  Those meetings never go well, and he always needs time and space with David or alone before he can comfortably deal with the surge of emotions that always flood to the surface,

Matteo huffs out a wryly amused laugh.  “Yeah.” he says, fingers now twining the exposed thread from the blanket roughly around each other over and over again in a steady rhythm, as if it centres him.  “It was shit.”

“Shittier than normal?”

Matteo nods, his lips pursing into a compressed line as he clearly rolls the conversation over again in his thoughts.

“He wanted to know when I was going to do something normal.”  He looks sideways, as if seeking reassurance from David, and David can see the pain in his eyes.  “He wanted to know when I was going to stop being strange and find a nice girl to marry.”  He laughs, the sound cutting right through David.  There’s nothing amused in it.  He shakes his head as if in disbelief, mockingly imitating the tone his father used when he repeats, “strange.”  

“You’re not strange,” David says, taking his hand.  “You know that, right?”

Matteo’s shoulders move in a tiny shrug.  He doesn’t answer directly, instead saying, “I keep hoping he’ll be better each time.  I’m so stupid for believing it.”

His voice is shaking with the effort of trying to act like it doesn’t really matter, trying to make the self-chastisement sound like a joke.  But David knows Matteo well enough to know it’s not a joke.

“You’re not stupid.”

“It’s just hard,” Matteo says quietly.  “It’s Christmas, you know?”  He sighs, his fingers picking up their rhythm on the thread again, twisting it back and forth.  “I always hope he’ll be better when it’s Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know,” David says.  “It never gets easier.”

He’s speaking from his own experience, and how it always stings a little when his parents don’t try to include him in any of his own holiday traditions.  Matteo nods, burrows closer.  He knows how bad it can be for David, too.  It’s because they have this shared frustration with their relationships with family that they’re each able to talk about it when they need to.

It’s silent for a long time, allowing David to reflect.  He can hear the muffled booming sound of the music Hans has chosen for the evening’s playlist, a bizarre mix of breezy Christmas songs and thumping bass lines.  Hans had insisted on being the DJ, saying that David and Matteo don’t have the right sort of music for a party.  They let him do it, since it made him happy.  Listening to the abrupt change in beats between songs, David’s not sure if they made the best decision there.

Still, the slower, easier cadence of the latest song allows him to slow his own thoughts down and take stock of what’s happening here.  David can tell, in between the things Matteo has said, just how much has been left unsaid.  He’s heard first hand some of the stinging, aggressive comments Matteo’s father can dole out, and he can imagine how bad it must have been today for it to have felt shittier than normal to Matteo.  

“I feel better now,” Matteo says as if he can hear the thought David just had.  “Being with you always helps.  It was shit before, not being able to.”

Hearing it means so much.  It’s not that long since David tried to hold himself aloof from everyone who would try to get close to him, sure that he’d been opening himself up to weakness and rejection.  Instead, what he keeps finding over and over, is that Matteo reaffirms their bond in so many ways, big and small.  

He’s tired, David can feel it in the slump of his body, but there’s a peace in him that wasn’t there before.  It feels nice knowing that he was able to help with that.  That just being here settles Matteo.  It’s in that moment that David knows.  He knows for absolute sure that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Matteo.

He turns to press a kiss into Matteo’s hair, whispering, “I love you,” as he does so.  He can feel Matteo’s muscles move as his mouth curls up into a smile when he hears the words.  It always makes Matteo smile this way when David says it, so he says it often just to catch that smile Matteo saves just for times like this.

“I love you too,” Matteo says, turning so he can look David in the eye properly for the first time since they got out here this evening.

His eyes look clearer than they did when they came out here, and the smudges under his eyes are less prominent.

“I want to ask you something,” David says impulsively, taking Matteo’s hand in his own.  He laughs at the look that chases onto Matteo’s face; it’s suspicious because they never talk like this, asking permission to say something and Matteo can tell something is different tonight.

Now it’s David’s turn to look away; the intensity in that gaze is getting too much for him and he knows he won’t retain his composure if he tries to hold Matteo’s eyes.  So he focuses on Matteo’s fingers, curled trustingly in his own.  He should have got a ring before he did this, David thinks irrelevantly.  But he’s not going to back out now.

“You know how… how closed I was before I met you.  How I wanted to run away from everyone and everything.  How much everything hurt all the time.”

“Yeah,” Matteo agrees softly.  “I recognised something in you that was the same as me.”

David nods, chances a look up at Matteo and sees the wry smile he’s giving.  These aren’t easy memories, for either of them.  But there’s something healing in remembering those times and how much they meant to each other because of it.  Matteo has always shone in David’s memory for the way he steadfastly never gave up, for the way he was willing to work with David through whatever was messing with him.  Getting to do that for each other for the rest of their lives?  Yeah, David’s ready to dive into that.

“The thing is, I get what you’re saying about your dad and how shitty that all is.  And… and my parents too.  And I know this time of year is hard for you when he’s… like he is.”

He pauses, because he can feel his emotions welling up.  It’s not perfect, the things he’s saying and the way they got here, but it works for them and it’s only now that he’s saying it that David understands how perfect it is to do this in a moment like this.  Because everything that has come behind them emphasises everything that is good about the two of them together.  And Christmas has always a time of change and reflection for Matteo; it’s why he’s always hoping his father will have changed.  So why not transition into something even better now, with David?  

“You’re my home,” David continues after refocusing, his fingers trembling where Matteo’s are sitting in them.  “And I’m yours, I think.”

“You are,” Matteo agrees.  

His voice is firm, with no trace of doubt.  David smiles.  He knows this, of course, but those small doubts still flood him sometimes so there’s always a tiny buzz of relief and delight when Matteo says it like it’s a truth, immutable and eternal.  David’s not above fishing to get Matteo to say it, and does so often, but tonight there’s a deeper purpose.

“So, your dad doesn’t matter,” David says.  “I know it feels big and shit and like you’re small.  I know that.  I’ve felt that before, hoping it might change if I just find a way to be better, but I never could.”  He stops and processes for a moment, figuring out how to say the rest of what he wants to.  “I feel like… like I had such a small family before.  It was just Laura really.  But now I have you and I don’t need anyone else.  I don’t have to be better, and neither do you.  Because you’re good the way you are - just like you told me one time.”

Matteo smiles, something small, but there’s a relaxed happiness there that David wants to bottle.  He loves being able to get through to Matteo like this.  He loves that memory and everything that surrounded it, and he knows it’s resonated with Matteo too.  He can see the way the things they’ve said have eased the tense lines of his body.

“You haven’t asked anything yet,” Matteo points out, puncturing the moment, and David laughs.  It’s such a Matteo thing to do that he can’t help himself, and he knows it means he’s had the effect he’d wanted to.  

“I’m trying to be all romantic and supportive here,” David says, shoving Matteo.  

Matteo’s eyes are lit up now, with what David thinks of as his ‘usual’ mischievous look.  Matteo shoves him back, laughing, the sound welcome after the heaviness of the evening beforehand.  He sobers quickly, though, sincerity flooding through his face as he leans into David and rests their foreheads together.

“You don’t need to try to be romantic,” Matteo says quietly.  “I feel a lot better already.”

He knows, then, what David was trying to do at the start.  But he hasn’t caught on to the rest of it, so David sucks in a breath and kisses him.  Centering himself before he blurts out something reckless and ruins what he wants to do, David lets himself watch Matteo’s face as he carries on.

“I do though,” David says.  “I said I want to ask you something.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I just wanted to say that I love you, I love all our moments even the hard ones.  And I want to have more of them for the rest of our lives.”

Matteo blinks at him, clearly taken aback.  “You want…?”

“To have more moments with you for the rest of our lives, yeah.  You’re my home,” he repeats, knowing Matteo still hasn’t quite caught up with what he’s trying to ask, “and I want to marry you.”

It finally hits Matteo and his face evens out into something wondrous.  “You do?”

Laughing, feeling light and almost drunk with relief now that he’s said it, David takes Matteo's hand again.  “I do.  It was a bit of a rushed decision so I didn’t get a ring or anything.  But it felt right to do it now, you know?”

“Me feeling miserable felt like the right time?”

But Matteo’s laughing, his face lit up, so David knows he doesn’t really mean it.  

“It did kinda.  Because it reminded me that even in these hardest times, when it feels like everything has fallen apart around us, that I still have you and you still have me.  And I wanted to seize that and keep it forever.”

“Well I’m not sure,” Matteo says, his fingers tracing a light line along David's jaw down to his lips.  Taken aback by the strange turn this has taken, David frowns.  Matteo laughs again and brushes a kiss onto the lips his fingers had just been tracing.  “You still didn’t ask me anything.”

“Ass,” David says.  On another impulse, he slides off the seat, letting the blanket fall from their laps as he drops to one knee and grins up at Matteo with one hand on his chest and one held out beseechingly to his boyfriend.  “Will you marry me?”

Matteo rolls his eyes, and drags him back up onto the seat next to him.  “Of course I will,” he says, pulling David in for a kiss to seal the moment.

Snuggled together on the seat, the sounds of the party intruding as someone flings a window open in the living room, David sighs his happiness.

“I’ve been thinking it for a while,” he admits.  “I just didn’t quite know how to do it, but sitting here with you I knew times and places weren’t important.  What was important was us being here together through thick and thin.”

“See?” Matteo murmurs as he lays his head on David’s shoulder and kisses the skin he finds there.  “The balcony was worth it.”

“It wasn’t the balcony,” David protests.  “It was me being super romantic.”  

But, he thinks as they choose to stay there together, that maybe the balcony is symbolic of their relationship after all.  It’s a small space they can carve out together in the world where other people are near and other things try to intrude.  But if they inhabit it together, wrapped up in the warmth they give each other, it does make everything all feel different.  Easier.  Worthwhile.

Below them, the city glimmers on, uncaring of everything it’s just witnessed.  But here in their bubble all that matters is the two of them.  

And that’s what makes all of this, “totally worth it,” David whispers into Matteo's hair.

Find it also here on A03 if you prefer to read there

I want to say many many thanks to @boudoir-of-secrets who cheered me on through this little thing and gave a lot of valuable feedback 💜 This was based on two prompts, but I did play with both so they’re not quite exactly what was asked for:  “ Matteos dad being a total asshole to Matteo during the Christmas time and Matteo seeks shelter by David. Because in the end just David's presence makes everything better and with David he always feels safe.” and “David proposes to Matteo during Christmas time with a cute and long speech. How he is his home, the reason he stopped running, he is his everything.”

[hargrove-mayfields]

Autistic max? I’m all in -🦖

yes!! Max being on the spectrum is one of my favorite headcanons! Here’s a bit of my thoughts and hcs for you anon! <3

okay so first i wanna talk a little about where this hc came from! this idea was born in my head for a multitude of reasons, but the general summary is this:

-she misses a lot of social+emotional cues! she didn’t pick up on just how annoyed Mike was with her in the gym and kept pushing until El intervened, she didn’t detect any of Lucas’ panic or frustration when he was explaining the upside down to her until he touches her, and when el is jealous and just not interested in meeting her, she seems to be completely unfazed by that until she walks away. also every scene she has with Billy, he’s very shut off and she seems to be confused about what she’s expected to say, missing that he’s angry until he’s lashing out, and idk to me it just seems like she doesn’t really have a grasp on understanding others’ emotions!

-similarly, she only seems to react in the face of immediate danger, as if she’s a lot of the time unaware of how bad things truly are around her. like when she’s helping to find dart without even knowing what’s going on, driving a whole muscle car and going down into the tunnels without a hint of fear, seeming barely concerned when the mindflayer was about to drop through the ceiling. it’s almost like she has trouble fully processing the consequences of certain things, which could also explain why she sneaks out even though she probably knows what Neil is like and the fact that it could potentially put her in danger.

-the way she dresses just screams tactile sensitivity! she doesn’t ever wear anything flowy, any scratchy materials, and even at the snowball, where we see Susan fussing over her, she’s still dressed for comfort. what young girl with a mother clearly interested in making her pretty is going to get away with wearing jeans to a school dance if she doesn’t have sensory issues?

-also, whenever she gets upset she seems to shut down. like she almost never talks to Billy after he yells at her unless it’s necessary, when her and Lucas are talking on top of the bus it definitely seems like she’s struggling to voice her feelings or put words to her emotions, when Billy’s in the sauna, after he’s activated she starts turning in on herself, and after his death she’s just sitting in his room. like maybe she doesn’t really understand her own emotions that well either.

I’m not really viewing any of this as like, solid evidence or anything btw, these are just some things I’ve noticed about her as an autistic girl her age and living in a very similar situation that I think are neat and relatable!

onto the stuff I literally made up because I love her!

-Susan gives me autism mommy vibes. Like, making it her identity that she has a child with autism, and at times that can get super frustrating for Max because she hates being her mom’s little trophy daughter, gossiped about at all the potlucks so people feel sorry for her. Her absolute least favorite thing is “She’s such a handful.” and when Susan pulls the I’m so lonely because of taking care of you card to make her feel bad. Especially because she doesn’t feel very taken care of, once she’d hit a certain age her mother decided she’d be alright without all that “kid stuff” and basically tossed her into the world on her on. (hence why she’s Billys responsibility)

-In the 80s (and still now if we’re being entirely honest) it was very normal to just throw a casual r slur into conversation and it kills Max every time her friends say it, especially Mike because she thinks he’s being mean and doesn’t like her. She doesn’t know how to explain to them that that hurts her feelings because she doesn’t even know how to bring it up that she’s autistic. Billy tells her once to try to cheer her up that he could beat them up for her but she cries even harder because that’s what she doesn’t want, is for them to think she’s overreacting. He feels bad and tries to make up for it bringing it up with some of the moms of the group and asking that they tell their kids to stop using that word ever.

-In California she was in special ed classes, but Hawkins Middle deems that not necessary for someone of her “functioning level” (yuck) and she gets landed in coed instead. It might’ve been alright if that was how she started her education, but she was already used to classes of four or five kids like her, and she just cannot learn in that new environment. So she does really, really bad in school her first year in Hawkins. She feels kind of self conscious around her friends because they’re all so smart and her grades make her feel stupid even though it’s not her fault, and that’s why she kinda drifts towards being close with El because she struggles with learning things too.

-Smells are probably her worst overstimulation triggers. Things like cigarette smoke, fresh brewed coffee, her moms perfume, cooking and baking smells, the automatic air freshener thing, candles. Pretty much anything stronger than the smell of water is just overwhelming for her, especially if there’s something else already working her up, because then a whiff of something too strong can put her straight into a meltdown. Billy decides to quit smoking for her (he’ll never admit that, he’s adamant that it was because it was messing with his lung capacity and he’s trying to work out) and he also does things like buy Susan a new, less offensive perfume for her birthday and open windows to get stuffy air out of the house. They never really talk about what that does for her but like, that’s part of how they start getting closer, is when he starts making little accommodations for her like that.

-In addition to smells, there are very specific sounds she can’t stand. It’s not all loud noises, some of them like the rev of Billy’s car or a bass guitar at an outdoor amphitheater are some of her favorites, but the ones she doesn’t like, she really hates. Things like styrofoam, dishes hitting off of each other, something scratching against ice that builds up in the freezer, TV static, the toaster popping up or the oven beeping, and people who can’t chew with their mouths closed (looking at you Billy, keep that gum in your mouth please) all make her feel gross. She’ll try to physically shake off the way those sounds make her feel but sometimes they’re just too much and she shuts down for a while until she gets to hear something else. In that case usually really quiet music or someone talking to her quietly can reel her back in.

-Her interests vary a lot! The longest she’s ever held one special interest was a Miss Piggy phase! Susan liked that she was showing interest in a feminine character because of a lot of her si’s were tomboyish, but Max liked Piggy because she knew karate and punched people who laughed at her or tried to make her feel bad about herself! She has all sorts of Piggy collectibles, like toys, bed sheets, posters, books, mugs and watches! Otherwise her interests and fixations tend to come and go pretty quickly, like one week she could want to know everything there is to know about pro skaters, and the next she’s into the history of circuses! She liked cars for a little while and Billy was really excited to indulge in that and let her get familiar with the camaro, but she shifted to video games pretty soon after and he had to let it drop.

-Another interest that’s also pretty constant for her is nature! Not only for the sensory experience of it, listening to leaves rustle and birds chirp and water rush, but also all the knowledge about it. She can identify any type of flower, grass, tree, critter, or fungus! When she’s melting down and needs to be away from the house, she asks Billy to take her to the state park so she can just sit and be quiet and calm down on a fallen tree or a swing set somewhere. They do have some woods behind their house but she’s too afraid to venture out there and prefers to be out with her brother anyways.

-Stims! She’ll fiddle with zippers and buttons and loose threads constantly to the point that they buy her three or four of the same jackets and shirts for when she inevitably breaks them. She also chews on sleeves and hoodie strings a lot. Other tactile stims she favors are string tricks and braiding and tieing knots! Braiding her and Billy’s hair is something she’ll do anytime she needs to feel grounded, and she has a whole bunch of those little wooden boards that kids use to learn how to tie their shoes to tie knots with. She also always has a pocketful of yarn, and her favorite thing to make with them is a spider web or a star!

-Sort of related to her fascination with string is that her shoelaces never ever match, she has like a whole drawer in her room full of different ones to change them out! (and she has Miss Piggy Bow Biters to put on them!)

-She’s also a very verbal stimmer at times! Giggles for days with Max, if she’s excited, happy, nervous, whatever, she’s giggling. Humming and mimicking too, like if she hears a sound she likes she’ll try to make it, whether it be part of a song or something she hears outside. But if she is sad she’ll get as quiet as a mouse.

Idk these are just like my sort of canon compliant hcs I guess? Like what I feel would be true for her in the timeline and storyline of the show!

[illfoandillfie]

Hey i hope you're enjoying your time off work so far! Id like to request a roger blurb please, it's not from a prompt list but I had a thought the other day I couldn't get out of my head! So I was reading something on The Cross and the other lads in the band were like 22, and I just imagined being one of their friends and they offer to bring you into the studio for a day because youre interested to see how they record but you're a bit nervous to meet roger and when are introduced you can't get over how hot he is in the flesh and he thinks youre really cute and takes a liking to you and theres a bit of flirting and loads of chemistry 😍 honestly would love to read a whole fic on this but a blurb would great! 😁 p.s sorry this is so long! 😂

This is such a cute idea! I hope I did it justice!

~~~

You’ve known Peter for years. Watched as he’s picked up the bass as a hobby and then got seriously into it. You went with him when he went to audition for a band, waited out the front of the building they held them in and asked him how it went when he was done. The rumour was that a musician who was already quite famous was looking for people to join a new band so your first question was actually…

“Who was it?”

“Roger Taylor!”

“Who?”

“From Queen! Y’know, the drummer,”

Less exciting than you’d imagined. If it had been Freddie himself you would have been more impressed. And the guitarist (whats-his-name, tall fellow with all the hair) might have been worth a exclamation and maybe tempted you to turn back and try and catch a glimpse. But the drummer? Who cares. But the good news was that Peter was in. Rodney or whatever his name was had clearly liked what he saw and you couldn’t blame him, Peter was the best bassist you knew, best musician you knew. You were proud of Peter and happy for him.

There were a few perks to being besties with the bassist in a proper band. He gave you copies of all their albums and you got to meet the rest of the band. Well most of them. The singer, the famous one, had never been able to make it, always busy with Queen or his family. But he seemed like a top bloke from everything you heard about him and you did like his style, his voice. You’d thought you might finally get to meet him when you went and saw them play on the tour but unfortunately you’d had to back out at the last minute after catching a flu-like bug.

It wasn’t until they were working on the next album that it happened. You were hanging out at Peter’s place, his first day off since they’d finished recording, when he got a phone call. As he put it, some fucking moron had fucked up one of the tapes and they had to go in and re-record a whole fucking song. He was apologetic for ruining your day together but you waved him off. You could see him again tomorrow or the next day or whenever.

“Unless you wanted to come with me? Hopefully it won’t take more than a couple of hours and then we can go see a movie or something. And you can see how we make an album.”

“All that shit you’ve told me about it might actually make some sense,” you laughed but agreed to the plan.

Spike was the first to see you, pulling you into a hug but the rest of the band was soon saying hi too and waving as they plugged in instruments and tuned them. Peter left you to find Roger and ask what had been lost so you ambled around the studio, looking at the records that hung on the walls and all the equipment. The numerous buttons and dials and adjustable slides made you feel a little like you were in a space ship in a sci-fi movie. You were just beginning to wonder where Peter had vanished to and when they’d be getting on with it when the door behind you opened and in he walked with Roger. You smiled and waved and he said something to Roger before they came over to your corner of the room.

“So you’re Y/N? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to meet you earlier, Peter’s told me so much about you.” He reached out to shake your hand as he spoke and you were struck by how charming he was.

“He has, has he?”

“All good I promise,”

“Of course it’s all good. He knows how much dirt I have on him.”

Roger laughed as Peter rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, I’m Roger by the way.”

“Nice to finally meet you Roger,”

“I’ll try not to keep your boy too long. But please, make yourself comfortable. There’s a couch over there or you can sit and watch what they do at the desk.”

You thanked him for letting you be there and wished them luck as they turned and went through the second door into the recording space. And then you kicked yourself for saying something so stupid. No one had told you Roger was hot. That was crucial information and no one had thought to inform you. You’d heard he was funny and a great musician and all this other stuff and not once had they said he was hot! You tried to remember if you’d noticed it on any of the record sleeves but you couldn’t say you’d really paid much attention. You’d been much more focused on Peter. But now, after having met Roger, you felt like you were regressing to a giggly teenager again and had to turn around so no one would see you grinning.

After a bit of discussion half the band left the recording space, leaving the drummer to lay down his part first. Peter came over to talk to you, but your eyes were firmly stuck on Roger as he bent over one of the mixing boards.

“Y/N, did you hear me?” Peter said, tapping you on the shoulder.

“Huh?”

“Can you stop drooling over Rog for a second,”

“I’m not drooling,” you wrenched your eyes away from Roger and turned to face Peter instead.

“Might as well be,”

“What’s his deal anyway?”

“Seriously?”

“I’m curious, sue me,”

“Divorced. Kids. Twice your age,”

“Any downsides I should know about?”

“Twice your age isn’t a downside?”

“Course not. Means he’s experienced and mature,”

Peter laughed and you took the opportunity to look over at Roger again, though you quickly brought your gaze back to Peter.

“Seriously though, is there any reason I should be wary?”

“I’ve known Rog for a few years now and he’s a really great guy, if a little busy. Plus, if Spike’s stories about Queen tours are to be believed, you’re right to say he’s experienced,”

You laughed and this time when you looked back at Roger your eyes met. You smiled, the sort of flirty smile the boys in the local pub liked. He smiled back before turning to the desk again.

 For the next few hours you watched as each band member took a turn in the booth, playing their part over and over and over until everyone was satisfied with how it sounded. It was a little boring, the novelty soon wearing off, but there were things to keep you entertained. Peter talked to you while he wasn’t preoccupied, sometimes joined by one or two of the others. Occasionally they’d interrupt whatever they were saying to comment on how the person playing sounded, and Roger would make adjustments based on the feedback, or talk into the little speaker and relay the advice. Mostly you amused yourself by fantasising about Roger, watching him over the shoulder of whoever was talking to you. You caught him look at you a few more times too. It happened more frequently once Peter was in the booth and you decided you might as well make a move. Afterall, how likely was it you’d see Roger again any time soon?  

He’d said you could sit closer to the desk if you wanted so you sidled up next to him and asked him to explain what you were looking at. He beckoned you closer still, wrapped his arm around your waist as he pointed out different slides and buttons and explained what they did. There was a definite tension between you, something electric, something that made your skin tingle where his hand lay. You nodded along, asked questions. He seemed impressed by that, happily answering everything in great detail. Until he turned back to watch Peter, his hand slipping from your waist and his voice becoming much more serious. When Peter was done, you hugged him and said he sounded great.

“I saw you practically sitting on Roger’s lap just now,” he whispered, double checking Roger himself wasn’t listening in.

“I think he likes me,”

“You’re young and pretty of course he likes you,”

“You’re the worst person to talk to about this,” you laughed, “But would you care if I…”

“What, seduced him?”

“I was going to say asked him out but same diff,”

“Y/N, you’re a grown woman and I’m not your keeper,”

“Okay but you’re in a band with him, I don’t want to like, get in the way.”

“If you want to go for it then go for it.”

“Even with the age gap?”

“It clearly doesn’t bother you and lord knows I hope that when I’m 40 something I can still pull 22 year olds.”

You laughed, your mind made up.

There wasn’t much chance to put your plan in motion inside the studio. Too many people and Roger became distracted as it was his turn to record his vocals. Hearing Roger sing what was obviously a love song made your breath catch and your heart race. If you’d felt unsure about him, those doubts were gone. You found yourself standing by the desk again, not to see how they adjusted the levels but just to be closer to the glass between you and Roger. He smiled at you between verses and you desperately wanted to be the person he was singing about. As he re-sang the final verse, adjusting based on feedback from the others, you felt like you needed some air. Slipping out the door you headed down the corridor and stepped out of the building. Two vending machines were there and you dug out your purse for some change. As you were crouching down to collect the bottle you heard the door open again. It was Roger.

“I’m sorry this is taking longer than we thought,”

“Oh, it’s fine I feel like I understand what Peter does now. But maybe can make it up to me after with a coffee?”

Roger opened his mouth to respond and then paused.

“Doesn’t have to be coffee…”

“I’m flattered but I’m not sure that’s a good idea,”

“Why not? Is it because I’m younger than you?”

“No, no, that’s not it. I’m just not in the habit of taking my bandmates girls’ out on dates,”

Realisation dawned on you and you began to laugh, even more so once you saw Roger’s confused expression, “Me and Peter aren’t together. We’re just mates,”

“Really? But he talks about you a lot and Spike said-”

“Spike doesn’t know what he’s on about. Did you not wonder why I was flirting so much?

“No, I definitely wondered. But that’s, that’s good.”

“Good?”

“Well, what I mean is, you’re cute. I would have asked you out already expect that I thought…But that’s by the by, um,” he scratched the back of his head, “So you still want to get that coffee?”

[unproduciblesmackdown]

which bmc scenes make you the softest bc for me it's gotta be most of the stagedorks scenes ESPECIALLY a guy that i'd kinda be into. mostly bc of christine cause her and michael are my favs (i love them all sm though) but also bc of jeremy because he is a close second to both of them. also vimh but vimh makes me cry a lot although nowadays i can hardly watch one scene without at the very least tearing up. anyways yeah which ones make you soft

i simply rewatched bmc and took notes for this and really got off track at points in the sense of sticking to What Makes You Softest but that’s how it goes babey

ACT ONE - in mts when jeremy is just having a whole moment being smitten in christine's presence while she's inelegantly picking herself up off the floor and smearing on lip balm and adjusting a skirt wedgie - jeremy and michael just being default that glad to meet each other in the middle of a random schoolday - michael hyping up jeremy's crush on christine and just encouraging this momentum to get jeremy to sign up for the play - ilpr.....that christine stops after like, the first two verses and goes back to her book b/c she doesn't figure someone's looking to listen to her beyond that but then she sees jeremy's still 110% paying attention and the whole rest of the song enfolds with increasing enthusiasm - jake doing that whole bit "all the pressure i feel to be the best at everything all the time" lmao classic stuff here, depressing content delivered in this humorousse way. charming moment - "leave me alone, i've had a bad day" - 2pg......when michael taps jeremy on the shoulder to get jeremy to join in on his choreo, which jeremy then does.....that michael asks if jeremy will be too cool for Video Games and jeremy just responds Emotionally Directly......we love the Favorite Person moment......that this song just ends with the two of them grooving 2gether god bless - jeremy stammering and Tics and Fidgeting when the squip remarks uponst it - jeremy delivering the Looking Pretty Sexy Brooke as awkwardly as possible and she's just like "thanks :)" - jeremy's own Theatricality coming out......hey hamlet - jeremy spinning around in place alternately addressing both brooke and the squip with "oh i'm supposed to meet my friend michael" - nice little detail wherein brooke signals for chloe to join in on her choreo - speaking of, v fond of the Moment jeremy is in on both their choreo......brooke sort of alarming jeremy with her whole attempted grande finale, straw and all, ft. the first instance of her messing with his hair so much she's just tugging his entire head around - cute that jake and rich have a sort of 2pg-esque handshake routine too - jeremy's "that's sad, what should i do" reaction re: jenna - rich's Earnest invitation to come over and play xbox... - "bonjour, jeremy" "ooh brooke!" and this whole exchange, her complimenting him, him laughing at "That Was French" and remembering to ask about pinkberry - love the whole choreo sequence/s in sync up, especially fond of his Moments with the girls, bumping hips with chloe (twice), hearing some Gossip from jenna, posing with brooke.... ;__; - the bowling alley performance art exchange before agtikbi ;____; - agtikbi......the glittery hearts choreo.....the whatever! the interlude or whatever!!! the I Guess A Part Of Me section hhhhoughhh ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; that she pulls him into a hug and puts her head against his shoulder omggg ;_________; - brooke just trying to interact with jeremy the Right Way w/o any guidance on the bleachers and it continues to be awkward and funny....like comforting just his Leg while he converses w/his squip.....how she just ends up Physically pushing him around by the hands and head and shoulder and etc......whole situation here in upgrade.mp3 clearly less than Ideal but jeremy and brooke are nevertheless very cute individually And together - meanwhile jake also trying to genuinely Be With christine in upgrade is also charming lol, quitting archery to hang w/a girl like her.... - i always love when the Playful Shove brooke gives jeremy at "but at the mall, you looked at me" pushes him back a whole few steps....this moment of them truly Getting each other sans anyone else's interference.....tres magnifique - jeremy being That psyched to see michael for the first time (in like, less than one full day lol)....michael being That psyched just hearing that jeremy's cool scifi thing worked out after all - lgw ;_________________________; - like i'm some normal, handsome guy..... - giving us All that silence after "The Problem Has Always Been Me" - the whole bit where he launches into the "I'm Not The [series of insults]" and i've realized it's really especially a stretch to say i'm Soft for these moments in lgw but i Am vulnerable and that's its power. little 1" tall will roland on my screen here just made me shed a real tear doing That.....

ACT TWO - brooke's Howl at the end of her verse lmawooo - oughhh jeremy and brooke Greeting each other at the party too, jeremy unable to disappoint her and going for the Real Compliment, just v charming. rip - jake and jeremy's danceoff lol hell yes and then jake just having Misunderstood the costume plan between him and christine lol - the squip getting in on the dancing :) go you funky little ai - jeremy and brooke singing that last verse of Halloween v enthusiastically at each other, - again that jeremy is just genuinely glad to see michael.... - the inherent intimacy of singing mitb b/c your bff dumped you..... - AGTIKBI REPRISE..... ;______________________________; hhhhuouuuoh my god :'3 the lil detail that at the Height of things christine is Shy and turns away.....just. This Scene oh my god - soft in a vulnerable way like, rip to jenna where we're seeing chloe's Lack Of Enthusiasm in accepting a call from her :[ - the Shift at the start of the pants song :] - and the lil mitb reprise during said pants song lmao, also always having a great time w/this concept of "maybe this teen having a rough time needs some guidance from someone grown w/all that bonus maturity here" - i wish there was a way i could help everyone but i don't know how so i guess i'll just do theatre..... - jenna being Moved simply being asked for the first time ever How She Is u_u then her being like "....Okay!" lmfao jenna's great - just have to say in whatever context i'm v fond of pitiful children there at the end lmfao the bass kicks in like that and we're having a great time - the audience always having that response to "all the way to broadway" - jeremy going "you came to see me in the play? :)" like, that he's processing the significance of that in the middle of these Very Raised Stakes - i'm soft for will roland's vocal glitching mouth noises live every night!!! - jeremy like "ha! >:)" flipping his squip off after he's successfully Apologized lmfaoooo love him - but then having that real And I'm Stronger Than You Think I Am victory like :'| - that michael's been by like a ton btw during jeremy's probably somewhat concerning coma. also cherish the lil dance he does while they're celebrating mr. heere's bepantsedness - jake and jeremy sharing a Dab - and just the Popular Kids actively seeking him out to help re: christine b/c they just Want To Be Supportive.....very nice - this vimh interlude or whatever with christine and jeremy like jlsdfhh i think of this all the time - me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind ;__; what do they say we should do ;______; and the Woohoo! ;_______________; - huoughh kiss and you KNOW especially the [jeremy spinning away in sheer enthusiasm] of 2.0 just KILLS THE MAN ;O; - jeremy not missing a beat despite the squip's interruption leeet's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - the more than survive na na na na na na na na na na na's but they're all So, and jeremy ending With everyone but also there with Himself and it's so Good and Everything Wants What Vimh Has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hhrough ;0; - that jason does that spin at curtain call w/his excellent squip costume... - that in virtually any given curtain call when they get into line together there's that lil ritual of george smacking will's ass lmao love languages

i mean tl;dr quite Same in that like, most likely to inspire tearing up over something or other includes agtikbi reprise and vimh which is just like, again any finale wants what it has, and the I Guess A Part Of Me bit of the non-reprise agtikbi like Oof augh this is so cute, and lgw always Gets me, and while i was rewatching speaking of being soft and move-able i was also just continually struck with delight over various moments throughout, and noticing little details for the first time thank god. just Vulnerable the whole time

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 7, Number 5

Sarah Louise

A week or two before this Dust’s deadline, we got our first tour announcement by email in more than a year. It was the first of deluge, as live music looks to be coming back with a vengeance starting this summer and really picking up steam around September. Meanwhile, we celebrate our newly vaxxed (or for our Canadian correspondents half-vaxxed) status with tentative steps outside. Your editor had her first beer at a brew pub in mid-May, and it was stupendous. Also stupendous, the onslaught of new music, which has, if anything, accelerated. This month, contributors include all the regulars plus a few new people: Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Patrick Masterson, Ray Garraty, Tim Clarke, Andrew Forell, Ian Mathers, Bryon Hayes, Jonathan Shaw and Chris Liberato. Happy spring, happy normal and happy listening!

Amulets — Blooming (The Flenser)

Blooming by AMULETS

Like a lot of us, Portland-based noise artist Randall Taylor discovered the solace of long walks during the pandemic. His work, which has always used tape degradation to explore the intersection of time, loss and technology, shifted to incorporate another source of decay: the natural world. So, in opening salvo, “Blooming,” alongside blistering onslaughts of eroded guitar sound, it is possible to hear the sounds of a fertile garden — birds, insects, air movement. You can nearly smell the flowers and feel the sunshine on your skin. “The New Normal” explores sounds of creaking, friction-y word and metal, alongside pristine chimes of synthetic tone. It is uneasy, with skittering string-like squeaks and swoops, but also deeply meditative; it shifts from moment to moment from anxiety to provisional acceptance, much as we all did last year, staring out our windows. Overall, the tone is elegiac, gorgeous, but Randall does not hesitate to introduce dissonance. “Heaviest Weight” thunders with frayed bass tones, a weight and a threat in their subliminal pulse. The contrast between that ominous sound and purer, clearer layers of melody, makes for unsettling listening—are we at war or peace, happy or sad, agitated or calm? And yet, perhaps that’s the point, that the past year has been swirl of feelings, boredom alongside anxiety, hope lighting the corners of our listlessness, the smell of flowers pleasing but faintly reminiscent of funerals. Blooming decocts this mix into sound.

Jennifer Kelly

 Astute Palate — S-T (Petty Bunco)

Astute Palate by Astute Palate

Astute Palate is a hastily assembled group of rockers summoned to support David Nance in Philly on a date when he couldn’t bring the David Nance Band. Participants included Richie Records proprietor Richie Charles, Lantern’s Emily Robb, Writhing Squares/Purling Hiss/all around Philadelphia regular Daniel Provenzano on bass and, of course, Nance himself, all huddled together in Robb’s recording studio for a weekend together. None of this origin story does justice, however, to the pure liquid fire of this one-off musical collaboration, dominated by Nance’s viscous, distorted blues-inflected guitar wail, but knocked sideways by brute force drumming, wild hypnotic bass lines and the ritual incantation of Nance (and later Robb) singing. The long “Stall Out” does anything but, rampaging free-range in unbridled Crazy Horse/Allmans-style abandon for close to ten minutes without a single sputter. “A Little Proof” is somehow simultaneously heavier and more country, spinning out the soul-blues jams like a younger, unrulier cousin to MC5. “Treadin’ Schuylkill” gives Provenzano the spotlight, opening with a growling bass solo soon joined by heavy psych guitars (a nod, perhaps, to the illustrious locals in Bardo Pond). If Nance et. al. can pull stuff this fine out in a stray road warrior weekend, what are the rest of you doing with your lives?

Jennifer Kelly

 Axis: Sova — Fractal (God?)

Fractal - EP by Axis: Sova

Axis: Sova is a combo of three Chicago guys plus one drum machine, which had already been inactive for two or three seasons before the initial COVID lockdown. This digital EP is their way of clearing up some business that could no longer remain undone. The title tune, “Fractal USA,” is a remake of a song from the early days, when the “band” was Brett Sova’s solo project, to full-on, no your pants aren’t tight enough rock band. They just needed you to know about the evolution, you see, so go ahead, do some scissor kicks and gurn while they windmill away; you have enough money saved up from not seeing live music to pay the inevitable chiropractor bill. “Caramel” hypothesizes that a Cluster song that’s played twice as loud and twice as long is twice as good; not sure if I agree, but it’s still not bad at all. Maybe you got a little weird after a few months of putting on your best mask for your daily trip to see if the stimulus check was in the mailbox? The Brenda Ray-meets-Old Black mash up, “(Don’t Wanna Have That) Dream,” is proof that while you were alone, you weren’t alone. If you’ve made it this far, you don’t need to have the fourth track described, so let’s just say that it’s longer.

Bill Meyer

Mattie Barbier — Three Spaces (self-released)

three spaces by mattie barbier

While perhaps best known as half of the trombone-centric new music duo RAGE Thormbones, Mattie Barbier is a member of several other combos and a sonic researcher under their own name. Three Spaces, which is a single, album-length sound file, has the air of experimentation about it. “What do I do,” one can imagine Barbier asking themself, “when I can’t play with other people?” Make music at home, and out of what’s at home, is the obvious answer. But doing isn’t the only point here; the outcome also matters, and while what Barbier has accomplished with Three Spaces sounds quite different from the RAGE Thormbones live experience, it registers quite strongly. Barbier has combined long tones and melodic fragments played on euphonium, trombone and reed organ, that were recorded both inside and outside of their home. Carefully layered, the source material combines into a sound rather like a bell’s toll, which over the course of nearly 39 minutes swells and recedes, but never quite decays; it ends with an imposed rather than natural fade-out. The sound is as deep as it is expansive, inviting the listener to let themselves fall ever father into its realm.

Bill Meyer

 Beneath — On Tilt EP (Hemlock Recordings)

On Tilt EP by Beneath

One of the more pleasant surprises this year is the resuscitation of Untold’s Hemlock Recordings imprint. A vital voice in the post-dubstep fracas at the turn of the ‘10s thanks to releases from Hessle Audio’s Pearson Sound (when he was still Ramadanman) and Pangaea, James Blake, FaltyDL and Hodge to name but a handful, the label went dormant following a Ploy 12” in 2017 before the surprise announcement of Londoner Beneath’s On Tilt, which sounds every bit the sensible alliance in practice it looks on paper: These are low-end rumblers with irregular rhythms and spare melodic tics that worm their way into your brain in the best bone-humming fashion (see “Shambling” or “Lesser Circulation” for a good example). Who knows how long the return will last, but for a certain stripe of DMZ-damaged devotee and pretty much no one else, it’ll feel good to have some Hemlock in your life again. Tilt back, pour in.

Patrick Masterson

 Black Spirit— El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos (Infinite Night Records)

More metal comes from South America than Spain, but these Europeans clear the high bar set by Latin America scenesters. The album’s title states that it was inspired by “El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos.” That can testify both to lasting influence of Goya’s art and to the laziness of the current culture which seeks inspiration only from the most popular pictorial art of the past. The track “Ignorance and The Grotesque” perfectly captures the whole mood of the disc: it balances ignorant speeds, undecipherable vocals and grotesque parts with piano interludes and doom-ish atmosphere. It would be better without the grotesque, but that’s probably part of the baggage.

Ray Garraty

 Burial + Blackdown — Shock Power of Love EP (Keysound Recordings)

Shock Power of Love EP by Burial

You might worry, occasionally, that Burial was becoming a victim of diminishing returns. Here, as ever, he uses a narrow palette to create tracks that few can emulate. However, even though the music has its rewards, it doesn’t clear the very high bar that his previous work has set. Thus “Dark Gethsemane” rides a 4/4 beat, angelic murmurs, vinyl crackle and a tightly ratcheted build that morphs into a sermon led by the repeated invocation “We must shock this nation with the power of love.” As his vocal samples become more explicit, the mystery of his music fades. This is all promise and no real resolution. “Space Cadet’ likewise sounds both gorgeous and minor with its soul gospel refrain “Take Me Higher” over an old-school jungle beat. At six plus minutes it would have been enough. It continues another three with an almost cartoonish second movement that lacks the subtlety that characterizes Burial’s best work.

Andrew Forell 

  Colleen — The Tunnel and the Clearing (Thrill Jockey)

The Tunnel and the Clearing by Colleen

While COVID messed with most people’s lives, it was both an endgame and an opportunity for Cécile Schott, the Frenchwoman who records under the name Colleen. She was just coming out of a series of health and personal dislocations, which resulted in her being newly healthy but alone in a new town just as the lockdown came down. Clearly, this was not a time for half measures, so she selected an entirely new instrumental set-up and settled in to make a record that reflected what she’d been through. Out went the viola da gamba and melodica that have figured prominently on her last few albums; in came a Moog synthesizer, a Yamaha organ, a tape echo and a drum machine.  

Colleen’s voice, of course, remains the same. Airy and precise, her delivery doesn’t match the gravity of the experiences her songs describe. But that sense of remove is, perhaps, a reflection of one of adversity’s lessons; if you don’t stay stuck, you can wind up somewhere quite different. Between the keyboards’ cycling melodies and the drum machine’s fizzy beats, the music on The Tunnel and the Clearing imparts a sense of motion that carries her light voice along for the ride, dropping painful sentiments and letting them fall behind.

Bill Meyer  

 Current Joys — Voyager (Secretly Canadian)

Nick Rattigan has been releasing music under the name Current Joys since 2013, and Voyager is his latest offering. It’s a dramatic and often brilliant collection of songs, bringing to mind the urgent rhythmic drive of Spoon, the dour grandeur of The Cure and the unapologetic emotional heft of Bright Eyes or early Arcade Fire. On Voyager’s standout, “American Honey,” a simple strummed backing and Rattigan’s vocal delivery are potent enough, but it’s the string section that proves devastating, cycling around for multiple punches to the gut. While more stripped-back songs such as “Big Star” and “The Spirit or the Curse” offer some respite along the way, Voyager does prove a little unwieldy. With 16 tracks clocking in at nearly an hour, the album’s execution doesn’t quite live up to its ambition. The wonky tom-tom rhythms of “Breaking the Waves” are more distracting than interesting; a serviceable cover of Rowland S. Howard’s “Shivers” feels more like an acknowledgment of influence than a striking interpretation; and the combined six minutes of the two-part instrumental title track may have worked better as shorter interludes. Nevertheless, plenty of Voyager’s tracks demonstrate Rattigan’s knack for a raw, emotive indie-rock tune.

Tim Clarke

 Ducks Ltd — Get Bleak EP (Carpark Records)

Toronto duo Ducks Ltd celebrates signing to Carpark with an expanded re-release of their 2018 debut EP Get Bleak. The pair — Tom Mcgreevy on vocals, rhythm and bass guitars and Evan Lewis on lead guitar — bonded over a shared love of 1980s indie bands. Their intricately constructed guitar interplay carries the DNA of Postcard and C86 over meaty bass lines that evoke Mighty Mighty as much as Orange Juice and McCarthy. The sprightly music belies the miserablism of the lyrics that focus on FOMO, poor decisions, screen induced isolation, the corrosive impact of gentrification and gig economies. Mcgreevy and Lewis don’t wallow, however. Their jaunty jangle is a paean to the joys of jumping about and singing along with those new favorite songs that suddenly mean everything and will stick with you long after the world’s shit slopes your shoulders.

Andrew Forell

 Field Music — Flat White Moon (Memphis Industries)

It’s easy to take Field Music for granted. Since 2005, the Brewis brothers have been making smartly composed and tightly executed guitar pop with obvious debts to The Beatles and XTC, and all their albums have fallen somewhere along the continuum from good to great (my personal favorites are 2010’s Measure and 2012’s Plumb). Album number eight, Flat White Moon, features the usual balance between Peter’s more pensive, bittersweet numbers with greater focus on piano and strings, such as “Orion From the Street” and “When You Last Heard From Linda,” and David’s funkier, more staccato cuts, such as “No Pressure” and “I’m the One Who Wants to Be With You.” Twelve songs, 40 minutes, tunes for days — what’s not to love? If you’ve yet to get acquainted with Field Music, Flat White Moon is as good an introduction as any.

Tim Clarke 

 Gabby Fluke-Mogul/Jacob Felix Heule/Kanoko Nishi-Smith — Non-Dweller (Humbler)

non-dweller by gabby fluke-mogul, Jacob Felix Heule, & Kanoko Nishi-Smith

With Non-Dweller, we have a trio of Bay-Area improvisers who certainly do not reside in one place for very long. There is an agitated freneticism about their interactions here, the performers acting like electrons seeking to release energy and break out of orbit. Each player brings a unique collection of timbres to the party with their implement of choice. Heule is a percussionist by trade yet focuses on extended techniques — mainly friction-based — as he wrests an unholy wail from the maw of his bass drum. Fluke-Mogul’s violin sways between tone generator and noise source. Nishi-Smith is a classically trained pianist who here is bowing and plucking the koto, or Japanese zither. The trio spend most of their time in sparring mode, their energies unleashed with synchrony as if in an elaborate dance. It is clear they have collaborated before. Heule and Nishi-Smith have been at it for over a decade; Fluke-Mogul joined the party in 2019. The most gorgeous moments happen when all three players are focused on friction: Heule slides across his drum, Fluke-Mogul soars with their violin and Nishi-Smith gracefully bows her koto. The energy is focused and particles collide, creating waves of tone. The players wrestle intensity into submission, and the ensuing sonorities are unmissable.

Bryon Hayes

 FMB DZ — War Zone (Fast Money Boyz \ EMPIRE)

Ever since FMB DZ got shot and moved out of Detroit, he has continued to release angry music. (He may not be more productive after the assault, but he’s certainly not less so.) War Zone is his latest effort, along with The Gift 3 and Ape Season, and DZ is back in his paranoiac mode and ready for vengeance. That’s hardly unusual in this type of music but DZ stands out because he’s a bit angrier, a bit more pressing and a bit more gifted than the next man. He doesn’t outdo himself in this tape, but rather mostly follows the blueprint of Ape Season. The standout track is “Spin Again.”

Ray Garraty

 Ian M Fraser — Berserk (Superpang)

Berserk by Ian M Fraser

Ian M Fraser is kind enough to provide details about how he created and edited Berserk, although relatively few listeners are going to really know what “nonlinear feedback systems and waveset synthesis” are, let alone “sensormonitor primitives auditory perception software”. And fewer still will be able to focus on what that might mean while Berserk is actually playing, because the output of those programs and systems is immediately, viscerally clear. If a computer were actually capable of going rabid, feral, well, berserk, the human mind might imagine it sounds something like this. Over four shorter tracks and the relatively epic 8:26 of “The Cannibal,” Fraser either coaxes or allows (or both) his tools into the equivalent of something like what someone who knew very little about both genres might imagine is like a power electronics act playing free jazz or vice versa. It is absolutely viscerally thrilling (albeit probably easier to repeat at this length of 16 minutes than, say, 50) and will do the track the next time you feel like your brain needs a good hard scrub.

Ian Mathers 

  Human Failure — Crown on the Head of a King of Mud (Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

Crown on the Head of a King of Mud by Human Failure

It’s tough to figure out if the band’s name is meant specifically to apply to D. Cornejo (sole member of Human Failure) or to the general field of human failure, which grows ever more capacious. Whatever the intent, Human Failure makes thoroughly unlovable music, pitched somewhere on the continuum that runs from the primitivist death metal to stenchcore to harsh noise. This reviewer is especially fond (yep, somehow that’s the only word for it) of the title track of this 10” record: “Crown on the Head of a King of Mud” sloughs and slogs along for two minutes, sort of like one of the ripest zombies in Romero’s Day of the Dead (1985), wandering about and slowly falling to pieces in Florida’s tumid heat. Just as that last bit of flesh is poised to slide from bone, the song unexpectedly breaks into a run. Where is it going? What’s the rush? No one knows. Things eventually bottom out into “Disassembling Morality,” a static-and-distortion laden electronic interlude that might squeak and spark for a bit too long — but then “Your Hope Is a Noose” shambles into the frame. That zombie seems to have found some equally noisome and truculent friends. They djent and pogo around for a while, and the song has a lot more fun than seems called for by the band name. Cornejo might be pissed off by the myriad manmade disasters and outright catastrophes that burden the earthball (he’s sure angry as heck about something…). But the record ends up being sort of successful, if deafening, grinding, growling stench is on the agenda. All things considered, why wouldn’t it be?

Jonathan Shaw

 Insub Meta Orchestra — Ten / Sync (Insub)

Ten / Sync by INSUB META ORCHESTRA

Ten / Sync was recorded in September, 2020; not exactly lockdown time, but certainly not out of the pandemic woods. It’s no small task to keep any 50-strong orchestra going, let alone one devoted to experimental music. So, if you already have one, then having it perform during a pandemic is just another challenge among many. So, the Swiss-based orchestra assembled three groups of musicians, numbering 31 in all, and assembled their contributions during post-production. While this did not provide the social experience that IMO’s gatherings usually impart to participants, an outcome that just isn’t the same seems awfully representative of the time, right? And since one Insub Meta Orchestra subspeciality is making music that sounds like it was performed by many fewer players than were actually present, this collection of sustained chords concealing tiny actions and apparently disassembled passages is actually very representative of the ensemble’s music.

Bill Meyer

Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore — Neutral Love (Astral Editions)

Neutral Love by Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore

With her own group, the Elder Ones, and in Mary Halvorson’s Code Girl, singer Amirtha Kidambi shows how far you can take a song while still giving the meanings of words and the boundaries of form their dues. But Neutral Love, like her two tapes with Lea Bertucci, explores the territory outside the tower of song. The main structures for this improvised encounter with electric guitarist Matteo Liberatore seem to be a shared agreement to exclude certain options. Song form and overt displays of chops are right out; the patient manipulation of sounds is where it’s at. Liberatore opts mostly for swelling and subsiding resonations, while Kidambi spends a lot of time finding out what’s hiding at the back of her throat, drawing it out, and then tying it into elaborate shapes. Patient and eerie, these four tracks find a place adjacent to Charalambides at their most abstract, and make it their own.

Bill Meyer

 Kosmodemonic — Liminal Light (Transylvanian Recordings)

KOSMODEMONIC - LIMINAL LIGHT by KOSMODEMONIC

NYC outfit Kosmodemonic is among the recent wave of metal bands attempting to effect an organic-sounding synthesis of numerous subgenres: a slurry of sludge, a bit of black metal, a dose of doom, and a hit or two of the lysergic. When it works — as it does on a number of tracks on the band’s long new cassette Liminal Light — it’s an exciting sound. Songs like “Moirai” and “Broken Crown” manage to couple tuneful riffs, dirty tone and a muscular bottom end in ways that feel thumping, groovy and pretty weird. You’ll want to bump your butt around even as you’re looking for something to break. But the tape is pretty long, and the further afield Kosmodemonic gets from that mid-tempo groove, the more middling (and sometimes muddled) the material sounds. “With Majesty” can’t quite find its rhythmic footing in its more technical passages, and the song’s sludgier sections feel like compromises, rather than interesting maneuvers. But the record begins and finishes with really strong songs. Both “Drown in Drone” and “Unnaming Unlearning” embrace scale, letting their big riffs rip. When “Unnaming Unlearning” slips into complex sections of blackened and distorted dissonance, the drama surges. Formal experiment and manipulation of mood fold into each other. The song gets interesting, even as it’s reaching for a peak. And then it ends, suddenly, violently. It’s pretty good. Your impulse is to flip the tape and hear it again, which is just what Kosmodemonic wants you to do. Well played, dudes.

Jonathan Shaw

 Sarah Louise — Earth Bow (Self-Released)

Earth Bow by Sarah Louise

Asheville-based songwriter Sarah Louise wants to be your personal nature interpreter. The titles of her recordings, from her debut Field Guide through Deeper Woods and Nighttime Birds and Morning Stars are like planetary signposts pointing to a more intimate relationship with our planet as a living organism. With each successive release, her music has also become more and more organic sounding, culminating with Earth Bow, in which Louise herself is arms deep in humus, communing with birds and insects. Recordings of creation feature prominently; katydids, spring peeper frogs, a creek and various birds are credited as providing additional singing, augmenting the artist’s own mellifluous voice. For a recording in which the track titles and lyrics are focused on nature and Louise’s experiences therein, there are a lot of digital elements. Her 12-string guitar is prominent in places, but synths are everywhere: in the background, bouncing around like shooting stars, and mimicking the various fauna that they accompany. Yet the earthly and the machine-made are not juxtaposed, they are blended. The vocals, which center the recordings, tie both elements together nicely. Earth Bow is a tasty concoction, in which a variety of ingredients are married in botanical bliss.

Bryon Hayes

 Le Mav — “Supersonic (Feat. Tay Iwar)” (Immaculate Taste)

Nigeria’s alté scene has been bubbling for a couple of years now on the backs of guys like Odunsi (The Engine) and Santi, and Gabriel Obi bka Le Mav is no stranger to the fray, having produced Santi’s “Sparky,” Aylø and a recurring favorite of his, singer Tay Iwar. The two have already collaborated at length (for songs off Iwar’s debut album Gemini in 2019, as well as the entirety of last year’s Gold EP), so the comfort level here is established. It shows: Iwar’s smooth-as vocals match Le Mav’s breezy piano descent and gentle rhythmic shuffle in an easygoing song that matches anything you might hear coming from Miguel, Frank Ocean or the Sun-El Musician orbit. “If it feels right, touch the sky,” Iwar suggests early on. Well, don’t mind if I do.

Patrick Masterson

 Sugar Minott — “I Remember Mama” (Emotional Rescue)

I Remember Mama by Sugar Minott

At some point after Lincoln Barrington Minott had left Kingston and his early dancehall and lovers rock legacy with Studio One and Black Roots behind for cooler climates and the old world of London, he ran into producer Steve Parr at the Wackies offices. Story goes that the two decided to start up Sound Design Studio with the intent to record and mix for ads, film and music — but scant evidence of this idea exists beyond “I Remember Mama,” released on 7” and 12” in 1985 and reissued for the first time since via Stuart Leath and his long-trusted Emotional Rescue imprint. Parr does most of the work on the recording (Andy MacDonald shines on tenor sax and Paul Uden guitar in the original credits), but it’s all about the sweetness Sugar brings to the table: With backing from two accomplished performers in their own right, Janette Sewell and Shola Phillips, Minott’s naturally relaxed delivery shines through on this. “Sound Design” is a dubbier instrumental version that retains Sewell’s and Phillips’ vocals, and Dan Tyler (half of Idjut Boys) provides an even spacier, handclap-laden 11-minute remix, but while both variants are excellent, the boogie of the original is unassailable. Look for the vinyl to hit in July.

Patrick Masterson

 Jessica Ackerley — Morning/mourning (Cacophonous Revival)

Morning/mourning by Jessica Ackerley

It makes sense that Wendy Eisenberg wrote the liner notes to Morning/mourning, since they and Jessica Ackerley are bound by a shared commitment to string-craft. Both have a deep idiomatic foundation in jazz guitar, but neither is willing to be confined by what they’ve learned. In the case of Morning/mourning, that means that patiently paced ruminations upon Derek Bailey-like harmonics sit side by side with frantic but rigorously scripted forays that sound a bit like Jim Hall might if he input the contents of his French press intravenously. This album’s nine tracks observe passings and new beginnings, since Ackerley pulled the recording together while in quarantine, shortly before leaving Manhattan for Honolulu, and titled some of them in tribute to a pair of guitar teachers who were taken by 2020. But in their attention to tone, harmony, velocity and structure, these pieces, like Eisenberg’s records, speak as much to intellect as to emotion.

Bill Meyer

 Nadja & Disrotted — Split (Roman Numeral Records)

It makes a certain kind of sense for Nadja and Disrotted to tackle a split together; although both bands traffic in a particularly foreboding strain of doom metal, they also share a weird sort of comfort. There’s a sense more of horrible things happening around you than to you, like you’re in the eye of the storm or maybe in a bathysphere plunged to crushing depths. There is a precision to the menace, a measured quality to the noise. And they get there when they get there; as Dusted’s Jonathan Shaw pointed out in his review of Disrotted’s Cryongenics, “Pace seems to be the point.” This excellent split doesn’t shy away from these commonalities while still highlighting the distinct timbres of each act, with Nadja settling into and then returning to one of their indelibly titanic bass riffs throughout the 19-minute “From the Lips of a Ghost in the Shadow of a Unicorn's Dream” and Disrotted somehow conjuring the feeling of a massive structure corroding and collapsing on the 15-minute “Pastures for the Benighted”. When the latter slams to a half, one last hit echoing away, the listener may find themselves feeling equally relieved the onslaught is over and kind of missing both sides’ pulverizing embrace.

Ian Mathers 

 Nasimiyu — POTIONS (Figureight)

P O T I O N S by nasimiYu

Nasimiyu’s songs bounce and shimmy with complex rhythms, her background as a dancer and percussionist for Kabells and Sharkmuffin coming through in the intricate interplay of handclaps, breathy beat-boxing, rattling metal implements, all manner of drums and, not least, her lithe, twining vocal lines. “Watercolor” blossoms out of a burst of choral “la”s, each note allowed to flower briefly before behind cut off with a knife-edge; these are organic sounds shaped with mechanical precision. Against this background, Nasimiyu herself enters, her voice fluttery and syncopated, a bit like Neneh Cherry. The mix is full of separate elements, the backing vocals, a synthesizer working as a bass, handclaps, Nasimiyu’s singing, but the song remains light and translucent. “Feelings,” sings Nasimiyu, “I am in my feelings,” and so, for a moment, are we. Nasimiyu is half Kenyan and half Scandinavian-American, and you can hear a bit of East Africa in the surging sweetness of choral singing on “Immigrant Hustle.” But there’s a post-modern gloss over everything, as the singer brings in sonic elements from jazz, electronica, dance, pop and afro-beat. Yet however many layers are added, the sound remains bright and clear, a bead curtain of musical sensation whose elements click faintly as they brush together, but remain essentially separate.

Jennifer Kelly

 Carlos Niño & Friends — More Energy Fields, Current (International Anthem)

More Energy Fields, Current by Carlos Niño & Friends

Multi-instrumentalist and producer Carlos Niño latest album which straddles and largely crosses the line between spiritual jazz and new age ambience features friends from both worlds including Shabaka Hutchings, Jamael Dean, Dntel and Laraaji. Niño, who plays percussion and synthesizer, edited, mixed and produced the album from recordings made in 2019 and 2020 in a variety of settings. The results are largely low-key soundscapes designed to assist meditation on the fields and current of the title. Much evocation of the natural world, chiming eastern influenced percussion and layers of acoustic and synthetic keys that are lovely but tend to lull. It is the slightly disruptive reeds that prick the ears here, Aaron Hall’s plangent tenor on “Now the background is foreground,” Devin Daniels’ alto phrasing on “Together” and Hutchings’ expressive duet with Dean on “Please, wake up.”

Andrew Forell 

 Shane Parish — Disintegrated Satellites (Bandcamp subscription)

Disintegrated Satellites EP by Shane Parish

The normally ultra-productive Shane Parish didn’t put out a lot of music in 2020, and none of what did come out was recorded that year. It turns out that he was busy giving guitar lessons via zoom and moving from North Carolina to Georgia, but we’re well into a new year and he’s back in Bandcamp. This three tune EP doesn’t declare a new direction, of which Parish has had many, so much as an integration of his interests in American folk music and far Eastern tonalities. Simultaneously familiar and alien, but above all propulsive, it serves notice that the time for reflection has passed.

Bill Meyer 

 Séketxe — “Caixão de Luxo” (Chasing Dreams)

The thing that gets your attention about Séketxe is… well, everything: how many of them there are (i.e., how you can’t really tell who’s in the group and who isn’t), how they’re all propellant, a musical bottle rocket bursting out of your speakers, confrontationally in your face on camera — and how much fun it looks like they’re having. Somewhere out there beyond the reaches of kuduro and Mystikal lie the Angolan barks and rasps of this youthful sextet, who trade verses (and a soothing harmony drizzled right across the madness at around 1:40) among one another over an Eddy Tussa sample on a beat by producer about town Smash Midas. What are they on about? My Portuguese is nonexistent, let alone my Luandan slang, but even I can tell that title translates to “luxury casket.” Anyway, it’s bonkers and if you’re looking for a jolt your morning joe doesn’t deliver anymore, Séketxe oughta do it. You’ll never catch me thanking an algorithm, but I guess it’s true the maths can serve it up right every once in a while. Séketxe is the proof.

Patrick Masterson 

 Tōth — You and Me and Everything (Northern Spy)

You And Me And Everything by Tōth

The title of Alex Toth’s solo debut, Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary, alludes to his belief in music as therapy — that there’s an alchemy in the process, yet one that can’t necessarily be depended on to pull you out of an emotional hole when that hole gets too deep. On his new album, You and Me and Everything, all of his recent personal struggles are out in the open. There’s the tale of when he was so fucked up he couldn’t play trumpet at a family funeral (“Turnaround (Cocaine Song)”); there’s leaning on songwriting as a means to process the pain of heartbreak (“Guitars are Better Than Synthesizers for Writing Through Hard Times”); and there’s his ongoing battle with anxiety (“Butterflies”). While such heavy emotional terrain could prove hard-going, Toth approaches everything with a playfulness, a lightness of touch and a gentle haze to the production. Plus, he gets a helping hand from Jenn Wasner (Wye Oak, Flock of Dimes), who lends backing vocals to standout “Daffadowndilly,” which taps into the woozy gorgeousness of prime Robert Wyatt.

Tim Clarke 

 Mara Winter — Rise, follow (Discreet Editions)

Rise, follow by Mara Winter

For people with busy performance schedules, 2020 posed a problem; how do you stay busy and creative when you can’t do what you usually do? Mara Winter, an American-born, Swiss-based flute player who specializes in Renaissance-era repertoire and instruments, used it to forge a new creative identity. In partnership with experimental composer and multi-instrumentalist Clara de Asís, she began exploring the commonalities between early, composed music and contemporary approaches and developed a platform to disseminate documents of that research into the world. Rise, follow, the inaugural release of Discreet Editions, is an hour-long piece for two Renaissance-style bass flutes played by Winter and Johanna Bartz. The two musicians played long, overlapping tones with contrast attacks, pushing on until they grew so tired from hefting those woodwinds that they just couldn’t play anymore. Effectively the performance unit is a trio, since the two musicians had to accommodate or collaborate with the reverberant acoustics of Basel’s Kartäuserkirche. The church’s echo threw sounds back at the player, turning pure tones into blurred timbres. While the instrumentation is antique, the ideas about sound combination and endurance have more to do with Morton Feldman, Phill Niblock and Aíne O’Dwyer. The result is music that is simultaneously meditative and as heavy as a bench-pressing competition.

Bill Meyer

 Wurld Series — What’s Growing (Melted Ice Cream)

What's Growing by Wurld Series

Some reviewers of What’s Growing, the second album by New Zealand’s Wurld Series, have managed to avoid making Pavement comparisons, but it’s hard to fathom their restraint. Brief opener “Harvester” feels like you’re being dropped mid-solo into a random Wowee Zowee track; the guitar tone on lead single “Nap Gate,” on the other hand, sounds like it's nicked straight from Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. And while singer/guitarist Luke Towart doesn’t attempt to match Malkmus’ flamboyance in the vocal delivery department, their voices and wry lyrical observations bear a distinct resemblance to one another. “Caught beneath a dull blade / What a mess that would make” he sings on “Distant Business” before the song reaches its finale where guitar solos blast off from atop other guitar solos in an array of complementary textures. But besides being a ridiculously fun guitar pop record, What’s Growing is also threaded through with a British psych folk vibe replete with Mellotron flute — and the two styles blend seamlessly together thanks to Towart’s partner in crime, producer/drummer Brian Feary (Salad Boys, Dance Asthmatics). So, whether you're looking for a great summer indie rock record or you’ve ever wondered what the Fab Five from Stockton might’ve sounded like if they’d stuck to short songs and had more flutes, this one’s for you.

Chris Liberato

[bubblyani]

Amends

(Bruce Wayne x Reader)

A Bruce Wayne One Shot

Genre: Fluff

Request by: @tealaquinn. Thank you so much.

Author’s Note: This was quite an interesting request. Truthfully it was kinda challenging for me but I hope I did it enough justice. Enjoy!

Soundtrack: “Tongue” by Maribou State (lyrics in italics, and between the **xx**)

“Master Wayne!”

The elderly, yet controlled voice of Alfred Pennyworth echoed from the brick walls, to their rocky counterparts, ringing against the running waterfall that was set against the cavern beside the underground section of Wayne Manor. Taking a few steps further,  the seasoned Butler of the Wayne family finally laid eyes on the one he was searching for. The one who perched beside his computers in his simple t-shirt and shorts, while his eyes remained glued on to the screen.

“Master Wayne…” Alfred repeated, in a softer voice. “Not now Alfred…” Bruce Wayne replied with urgency, giving no consideration to pass a glance. “He’s right, Alfred. He seems very busy right now”

Eyes, hands parted from the keyboard in lightning speed, anyone would have assumed they caught on fire. Turning his head, Bruce got up from his chair, in the style akin to a child’s upon seeing Christmas presents early. For only one voice managed to do that to him: Yours.

Standing next to Alfred, you leaned against one of the brick walls with your arms folded and your lips curled up into a smile.

“Y/N!” Bruce breathed. Your smile grew bigger. “Hey Bruce…” you said affectionately.

A part of you badly wished you knew him longer, just so you could proudly shout out, “Yes, we were friends since childhood” or “Yes, I’ve known this man since University”. But it was truly unfortunate that you could not. You were simply “someone he was seeing…” , and that was the actual truth. Running into each other one fateful day at a Yacht party wouldn’t necessarily be the perfect meet cute but, the both of you were equally grateful to be there, for he managed to save you from a night of boredom, and you were relieved to hear that you did the same for him as well. Intellectually and empathetically compatible in an instant, it did not take that long for the eccentric billionaire to ask you out. Typically, you wouldn’t care to be seen with people like him. But he was different for sure. And you did not regret saying yes, for every date you was simply a window of opportunity for real conversation, to actually dig into each other’s lives with genuine curiosity and care. If anyone ever looked at the two of you, hoping to see an eager gold digger trying to tame his heart with her body, they would embarrassingly look away, for they were sourly mistaken. For it seemed like two friends, passionately conversing with occasional flirts every now and then.

“May I… take your coat, Ms. Y/L/N?” Alfred finally inquired, making you look down at your long trench coat.

“Oh…” you chuckled, nodding  “..Thank you” allowing him to peel it off your frame, revealing the Silver Spaghetti strapped dress that reached up to your knees. Paired with silver high heels and simple, classy jewelry adorning your wrists necklace and ears, your long shiny hair was pulled into a high ponytail. Given Bruce’s reaction, you knew you’ve done a good job. Walking away with a knowing smile on his face, Alfred left the two of you alone.

“As much as I appreciate the impromptu visit, what brings you here?” Bruce asked, eyes never leaving you as you took steps towards him. With eyes widened and hands on your hips, you scoffed. “You’re kidding, right?” You said, “Kathleen Gray’s fundraiser was tonight. I just came from that” you said, showing your outfit as you did so. “Wait! That was tonight?…” Bruce asked, to which you nodded in acknowledgement, “Huh…” he said to himself in realization.,“You know, for some reason I assumed you wouldn’t come…” he said, while offering you his own seat by the computer.


“Well, since Wayne Enterprises donated a ton of money, I assumed you would…” you replied in an instant, taking the seat nodding in thanks. The moment you sat down, the moment you stared at the computer screen, you could figure out the reason for his absence tonight, “But… that’s all done now…” you said quietly. You wondered if he could sense the remorse in your tone. You felt guilt in the tip of your tongue.

“You look beautiful, you know” You smiled, turning in your seat upon hearing Bruce’s comment. Every time he’d see you, he would never fail to say that. But every time he did, it felt like the first time, for it was different every time.  As if he saw something differently beautiful every single time. It was never obligatory. He really meant it and you appreciated it.

“Yeah well…” you began, looking down at your outfit, “ it looked much better with the whole pretentious lighting” you said, as both of you chuckled together.

“Trust me, it looks great here too” Bruce quickly added for it escaped his lips so fast, making you slightly blush. Clearing his throat, he continued “How was the event?”

“Oh you know the usual…a whole load of ass kissing and then dinner and dancing” you said, getting up and sitting on the side of the table, offering him the seat, “Would have been less sufferable with you around…” gesturing him to sit again, “So thats why I’m here…to be a little cross with you for not coming” you added with a mocked British accent. Sitting down, Bruce chuckled again.

“Well please accept my apologies…” he said, to which you shook your head playfully.

“Nuh huh…that won’t do Wayne, I rejected to dance with at least dozen gentlemen tonight cause I wanted to dance with you first…” you pouted teasingly.

“You didn’t have to…” “Oh…But I did…”

“In that case, what can I do to make it up to you?” He surprised you by taking your hand. You didn’t know why but, for some reason, the way he looked at you, and the way he held your hand, made you feel at peace for a moment. A kind of peace you never felt before. Blinking it away, you chuckled.

“Well…maybe your powerful friend can help” you said, with a mischievous smile. “And how exactly?…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bruce Wayne was never hesitant to make amends with a grand gesture, be it an expensive dinner or an expensive gift. All expensive.

But letting you ride the Bat-pod? Certainly unexpected.

The impressively stylized two wheeled machine darted from the secret exit of Wayne Manor, just making it on the suburban road nearby in the late hours past midnight.

“I still insist you change” Bruce said loudly, as he sat behind you. Sporting leather jacket and jeans, he looked worriedly at you, especially when you literally had taken the wheel in your evening attire. With your dress hiked up high enough, your entire legs and thighs were exposed to the midnight air.

“It’s fine…” You replied casually, with your eyes on the road, “Why? Are you distracted?” You asked, adding a smug tone, for he could not see your face. “Best if I don’t say anything” He replied, making you laugh, “Are you okay with the controls-Whoa!” He exclaimed as you increased the speed for a second, making it jerk. “I’m good, Wayne!” You replied in assurance. “Yes, clearly”

Taking in a deep breath, you soaked in what you indulged. The tall, majestic trees, embellishing the sides of the lonely road, passed within seconds as the cool wind blew through you. It was chilly, yes. But the heat caused by your excitement within was enough to protect you.

“Ah…this is perfect” you yelled out, “You know what we should have? Some-” “-music?” Bruce finished the sentence for you, “Way ahead of you” he said, taking your phone out from his jacket. You smiled to yourself. Clearly this man knew you just as you knew him. “Just put it on shuffle…”

As soon as the music began to play, you knew what it was, and it never felt more perfect.

The way the electronica melody started off slow, blending in with the pluck of  the cello strings as the melody naturally picked up speed to it’s original rhythm. The way the haunting voices harmonized and paired with the rhythmic bass. Filling both pairs of your ears, before the female lead vocal made her entrance:

**No light when I ask you, that's a shame**

Smiles were all that you had, as the song continued:

**No high better than you, easy**

Did not matter how many times you’ve listened to this song, you simply could never get enough of it.

**I'm tripping over my own tongue, Lie! Desire, like an illness, chokes me You lit me up so smoke me oh

You made it so obvious ….that you’re not in love You never gave a damn bout us… 'cause you're not in love**

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” Bruce’s voice landed on your ears, suddenly interrupting the hypnotic musical chorus. Your eyes widened.
“You kidding me? Hell yes!” You said excitedly, “I mean…why should you have all the fun?” You added teasingly, making him chuckle. “Someone’s been jealous!” “Guilty…”

**No time to regret this, what we've done**

Your sight was suddenly disrupted slightly by a huge strand of hair that landed on your face. Shaking your head frantically, you attempted your hardest to toss it back.

**Still I second guess it, cold feet**

You felt like a downright idiot doing so, until Bruce came into your air, lightly brushing it away from your face.  

**I'm tripping over my own tongue Lie! **

His fingers, they tickled your skin, awakening it as they brushed against it. “Thanks…” you said, looking at him involuntarily. “Eyes on the Road, kid…” he said, quickly putting both his hands over yours as he took control. “Right…” red in the face, you looked straight ahead.

**Love has been and gone and now I'm numb**

For a man who found it hard to put his trust on others except a very few, he placed his trust in you faster than expected. And you did not exploit it. You were patient with him, even those moments when he suddenly ‘had to leave’ for ‘an emergency’, you were certain you’ll find out the reason why in due time. And surely enough, you clutched your chest in surprise when Bruce Wayne showed up at your window one night, except he was The Dark Knight, thus revealing his secret. Shocked you were yes, yet the only way you could think of responding was to embrace him, interrupting his apology for concealing all this time. And tonight, when you stared into that computer screen, when your eyes wandered over those scars he bore in secret, you were reminded again of that guilt you felt in your tongue.

“Bruce I…” you began, taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry about earlier…” you said, as you felt him look at you confusingly.

You continued, “I should know better…You’re out there…here…doing something more important…than going to a stupid black tie event. I mean, you’re literally trying to save this city. I guess I was being selfish… just wanted a reason to…spent some quality time with you”

**You made it so obvious ….that you’re not in love You never gave a damn bout us… 'cause you're not in love**

The volume you spoke in was soft, yet you wished he heard you.

“Well…” you finally heard him reply, “I’m glad you did” Sighing with relief, your eyes widened once again.

“Whoa! Look at that!”

Jaw dropped, you gazed at the view of Gotham that was finally was within your sights. An entirely daring side to you emerged when the roads changed from country suburban to the metropolitan. Empty streets awaited Bat-pod, welcoming it to ride freely and wipe the night time solitude away. The interlude played right on time as the bass took a rest, and those haunting voices returned:

**Rolling… down… into the wildest dream**

It was so quiet all the sudden, with just a beautiful vocalise floating over your ears. Like a calm before a storm, something brewed inside you. Your eyes were illuminated by the lights that shone ahead. And then the repeated melody grew louder, syncopating with the lights that shone from the buildings down to the street, increasing the adrenaline within you, giving you a rush. They kept alit as the voices kept singing:

**Rolling…. down… into the wildest dream**

You felt invincibility coursing through you.

**You sent my soul… downstream**

Taking a chance, you slowly increased the speed of the bike, making the lights that passed increase in speed alongside you. Funny how it perfectly paired up with the hypnotic musical chorus that began once again. The rhythm syncopated with your sense of excitement and increase of your heartbeat. Laughing with pure ecstasy, you screamed victoriously in celebration of a freedom you never knew you could posses.

Sneakily, you stole a glance of Bruce across your shoulder, giving him a smile. A smile that could be translated in a million ways. And that’s when he saw it.

A woman of capability, pure bad assery, shining from exterior to a degree she shone from within as well. All from pure euphoria.

“Wow…” he muttered under his breath, “Holy Shit…”

The moment he said it, the moment those words caressed your ears, you suddenly felt his heart beating evidently faster against your back. And you swore your own rhythm changed into matching his.

**You made it so obvious...**

You felt the presence of his hand a little bit more than usual. And how you liked the fact it still stayed on top of yours. It made you feel warm, warmer than the excitement that brewed within you.

**You made it so obvious ….that you’re not in love**

Funny, you would have never imagined an evening filled with an adrenaline high could finally convince the both of you to come to terms with what really brewed between the two of you.

**You never gave a damn bout us… 'cause you're not in love**

And just like that, you couldn’t really relate to the words you just heard, for they were quite ironic.

For the feelings were quite the opposite, and most definitely mutual.

——————————————————

@erika92pu​ @christianbalefanatic​

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