#m loving the outfits tho fr

[inchidentalmeowmeow]

POV you’re a ferrari mechanic and pookie keeps hanging around the garage looking pretty ♥️

imagine just working and you look up and this is what you see tho 😭😭

[tyunn1ngz]

taehyun nsfw alphabet

cw: maybe afab implications? i think it’s pretty sex neutral tho and as always no gender is directly stated!

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

pampers u with soothing words and gentle touches, wrapped tight in his arms w ur head on his chest so u can listen to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat<3 him giggling when he cups ur face after he cleans u up, ur just so cute when ur all tired out :((((

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on him his arms and his stomach ,,,,,, beautifully toned and just ......................... AAAAAAAAA. riding him w ur hands on his abs when u try to steady urself, his breathy laugh w his hands aiding u in bouncing in his lap .,,, the strength hes got that he basically does the work all himself. anyway.

on u probably ur lips, loves loves lovesssssss kissing u so much(>ω^) loves how they look when ur mouth drops open, pants and moans of pleasure, pleas for more; all falling out in a haze... and also just maaaaaybe a little obsessed w how they look around his cock :o

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

thick but i think it'd probably actually taste nice is that just me

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

loves to film himself getting off and just taking nudes in general idk how many times ive said this but ill continue to say it bc i know im right ok and im fr gonna start begging everyday to see them

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i think yes, even if its just a little and he definitely knows what he's doing. he was going to be good at anything he does regardless, that shit is always in his nature somehow but now that he's been around just a tad he really knows exactly what he's doing (×_×)

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

riding, u in his lap or on his face is actually to die for in his opinion. or just any other position where he can really showcase his strength to u, he's not fussy on the details ;p

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

a mix of both but more on the serious side, loves spitting filth that has u trembling just a little harder— but is just as obsessed w ur laugh as he is ur moans, so maybe during foreplay he'll caress u in ways that tickles just to get u giggling before he really breaks u down <3

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

trimmed nicely but not completely shaven cuz that shit gets itchy growing back in

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

intimate w him means almost no space between u, and nothing exists outside of u two and the throes of pleasure at those exact moments. and while it’s not technically romantic he loves telling u ‘i’ve got u baby’ and smth abt the way he says it always just has ur stomach swooping a little w butterflies

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

piggybacking off of answer d, i don’t think he’d jerk off a whole Lot if he can b with u instead but he absolutely makes a show out of it everytime. barely cums unless he’s looking at himself and if thats narcissistic literally WHO cares

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

besides the strength kink, biting and being bitten r huge ones for him— not only does the sensation make him cum a little harder but smth abt the possessiveness of it all that really just does it for him— ur his only and he’ll make that very well known!!!!!!!

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

he took u in his studio once and hasn’t stopped thinking abt it ever since. that’s all i can really give u on that

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when u assert urself when u kiss him, ur confidence in an outfit u feel particularly hot in, probably even would pop a stiffy over if u simply just said smth really smart— or even if u said smth dumb tbh, feed into a little bit of dumbification, make his ego a lil bigger cuz he has to be the smart one in the relationship

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

probably a no to stuff like cnc, and nothing too painful or that will draw any blood— just a little pain is enough!!!

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he has no preference but he is a bit of a sucker for a blowjob bc !!!!! he loves ur lips!!!!! remember!!!!!!! (imagine his chest heaving and dark eyes looking down at u when u give him head and his hands gently pushing ur hair back and telling u how good ur doing even if u literally arent—as long as ur enthusiastic hes going to fall apart w u between his legs wooooooo boy)

when it comes to giving im telling u for the billionth time SIT on this man’s FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

prefers rough and fast, fucks so feral and so nasty and knows just how to roll his hips so u curl in on urself its so hot (//∇//)

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a good quickie imo, spontaneous raw desire and the thrill of it all can really get him off at times. a little obsessed w fucking u up the way he wants and watching u struggle to make it look like u weren’t doing anything sus at all when u both rejoin all ur friends<3

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes!! he’d have some hard limits that he’d say no to and that’d be final but outside of that he’d try almost anything at least once!

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i imagine it would either be one round but it could go for hours— or several rounds that aren’t as long, i don’t really imagine him being the type to go all night but hey if ur still horny he’ll get u off again however he can ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

probably not many if any at all, he can make u cum so easily w just his fingers he hadn’t rly seen a need for them but he’s game to try whatever— vibrator, cock ring, handcuffs, whatever u wanna try baby!

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

big tease, but also sometimes its not on purpose he genuinely just loves the feel of ur skin on his, so his touches that seem fleeting and like they’re meant to rile u up because hes not really touching u where u want; thats not on purpose!!!! ur just so soft and u feel so nice </3

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not very loud, loves to groan right into ur ear though bc u grow a little louder in response, so reactive :3c he’s a panter, little grunts and whimpers but all breathy and just for u to hear only nobody else Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

really really wants to try a threesome w one of his friends, someone else in txt the most likely. would even settle for one of them just watching the two of u fuck, it makes him a little crazy to think abt but he doesnt even know why

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

average length but thick … and he knows how to use it….. takes long drag of cigarette…

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

pretty average libido until he starts dating and has sex w u for the first time bc then i think itd be thru the roof im ngl here he just wants to have u all the time hes obsessed w u and everything is just so exciting

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

pretty soon after u guys clean up but u can tell he tries his hardest to stay up to talk w u a little longer— but u guys r so cozy and so tired out that he can’t keep his eyes open and neither can u, fighting sleep together w delirious giggles while ur all tangled up in his arms<3

[fanfictilltheend]

❤️‍🔥Violent Heart Part 2:  ♪Remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving too ♫ (or the VERY DARK Stepdad!Mechanic!Covict!Joel x Afab!you one)❤️‍🔥

Hi I apologize that a lot of these reference pics are just of white girls. I tried to find "aesthetic" images that go with the story but so many of them are just of white people and I want to call myself out for this because in the fic's only descriptors are that she has hair and is AFAB -- nothing about race. I also realize that all of the girls in this are skinny too and Y/N's body type is never specified. Sorry fam!! These images are just to get the creative juices flowing and don't truly depict anything from the fic!!

A/n: It’s here!!!!!! 18+ Only. This took me 7 freaking months so you mofos better like, reblog, and comment. This is both my most and least personal fic I’ve ever written and it is dark and relies heavily on plot (smut this time tho!!) READ ALL OF THE TAGS DO NOT COME FOR ME UNLESS YOU DID THIS FR FR. This ones for my dark joel fangirlies(guys and NBies) and the daddy issues fam ily ❤️‍🔥 (also not me naming my fic in part after hallelujah by leonard cohen but there is a reason!!!!!!!!!!)

Summary: Part 2 picks up with Y/N at age 20 and how her relationship with Joel has changed and gets steamier.  SMUT and feelings <3 Also check out this playlist of music that’s in the fic!!!!

Tags (PLEASE READ): Afab!you, pov change, Infidelity, threats, age gap, dressing Joel up (swear I wrote this before he wore that outfit to the SAG awards — the mr.Darcy-core one), racist comment (from Y/N’s douchey boyfriend), douchey boyfriend, confidence issues, feelings, voyeurism, masturbation (m and f), kissing, penis in vagina sex — unprotected (wear a condom), lightest hint of ass play, scar worship?? kinda??, daddy issues, daddy kink, using music lyrics to move the plot, multiple orgasms (m and f), religion and god discussions, stepcest (kinda bc technically he is divorced from her mother), tagging psuedo-incest just to be safe!!, use of y/n

Word Count: ~13k

PART 1

AO3 Link

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a little crush on Joel Miller. How could you not have? The first day you’d met him had been like some kind of fucked up yet extremely satisfying whirlwind of a daydream. He’d come in, broad and tall and strong, and saved you from your evil (though you do love him somewhere deep, deep down) older brother’s onslaught. Protected you like a knight in shining armor from his punching, beating fists. Treated and touched you so tenderly, so many miles different from how your own father did that you’d been hit with whatever the pleasant opposite of whiplash is. And the way he finally punished Aiden after years of his reign of terror, the violence of it, the justice of it. You didn’t have words for it then, but the way you looked into Joel’s eyes when he was doling out that righteous punishment became some kind of strange secret understanding between the two of you. Maybe it was the first sign of love? You aren’t sure.

As a kid, he’d given you what you like to think of as quiet butterflies. They were always there when he spoke to you, looked at you, touched you, beat the shit out of your father and brother for you, but they were faint enough that you could ignore them. It was a comforting, fluttering kind of love, a gradual understanding of your loyalty to one another. But then puberty hit and the insects became incessantly loud when you thought of, wrote to, or talked to him. They ate at your heart day after day while Joel was in prison – the longing, the missing. Aiden told you that you were obsessed with him. Your mother told you to forget him, that he would forget you. But somehow, he didn’t. You wonder if those bugs live in him too. You wonder if they are quiet or loud and if they gnaw .

You think that they are probably loud. You think this for a few reasons. The first is that you know for a fact, you can feel it in the lining of your soul, and from the evidence of his constant correspondence and care for you, that he is just as obsessed with you as you are with him. The second reason is the fact that you think but aren’t one hundred percent sure is that the last time you’d hugged him he’d gotten a little hard (you don’t want to think too much into that because he is only a man who had been deprived of touch for a long time – but still you wonder…). And the third is the way he looks at you like you are the universe like you are the last drop of nectar and he is the last butterfly left on Earth in a famine. 

That’s how he’s looking at you now in the passenger seat of his old, clunky pickup. You know that he wanted to drive, but you wanted to show him how well you could because he had never seen. Never had the chance to see how well you had fixed, maintained, and took care of his baby and of course he gave into you like he always does. He's smiling at you quietly, but his eyes contain multitudes. Right now mostly pride at your driving.

Joel is a bit different than how you remember sitting near him in the truck the last time you were together, him as a free man, you as a little girl. Somehow, even though you are obviously bigger now, he still seems massive and broad and stronger than ever. His biceps are huge – probably from all the time he had to work out in prison – and peeking out under his blue t-shirt that you brought for him, you think you see the outlines of some tattoos. You look a little closer. On his right arm is text in curvy black ink. You think it reads, “Sarah.” You smile softly at that. On his other arm is a strange orange shape that you have to squint at to understand. The edges of the object are jagged but they form a shape like a badge – and then you know what it is! It is the guitar pick you made for Joel as a child. The one that had pricked his finger and drawn blood and he stuck it in his wallet. You can’t articulate how honored you feel that Joel loved you enough to tattoo something you made for him on his body, permanently, forever. 

“ Well , the light only turned green damn near eons ago,” he complains about your driving, but you know he is just teasing.

There is hardly anything wrong you can ever do in Joel’s eyes. He grins at you a bit lopsidedly and you smile back. You also can’t help but notice the greying of his brown hair. It’s a bit longer than it used to be too and the length gives it a little bit less of a shaggy look. You think it suits him, makes him look a bit older and more distinguished than when he first came into your life twelve years ago. 

Objectively, you know it’s weird to think that your ex-stepdad who is a convicted felon is hot, but it’s just something you’ve always known and thought like that the sky is blue or that orange is your favorite color. You know it’s weird to think of someone who was? – is? – supposed to be a father figure to you that way, but it’s already second nature at this point. You’ve had a few boyfriends (luckily all of them had treated you right), but none of the feelings you’ve ever had for them have compared to the cosmic-sized love and affection you have for Joel and you’ve never known anything different. The years you spent longing, missing, loving, obsessing over, and aching for him in every way under the sun, can’t be healthy, you know this, but they have eclipsed practically every other relationship in your life. No one has ever made you feel as safe and protected and loved as Joel has. No one else has ever looked at you the way he does. No one else’s entire existence has revolved around you the way his has. The sheer devotion in his gaze is enough to make the butterflies inside you scream and beat their wings against your insides like hungry bats. 

And you especially know you shouldn’t have these feelings about another human being violent enough to be capable of taking a life – inebriated or not. You’re grown now and know the man he killed was a scum-of-the-Earth child predator, and secretly you’ve always wondered if there was more to the story than Joel told the police in the official court transcripts you’d read as an adult, maybe even something to do with you since you had been there that day in the repair shop when they met , but you haven’t pressed because you’re sure the whole thing is quite traumatic for Joel and if he ever wants to tell you, you know he will. And more importantly, you don’t really care. Drunken, violent idiot or not, you were already deeply invested and never intended on wavering in that. You’re not sure there’s anything Joel could do to get you to stop loving him and that both terrifies and excites you. 

“Okay, whatcha wanna eat?” you ask, reaching out to rub Joel’s shoulder gently. “Now that you’re free you can have whatever you want! On my mom’s credit card of course. Swear I won’t tell her.”

Joel grins.

“Deal,” he tells you. “I was thinking of a nice steak dinner.”

***

You pull into the fanciest restaurant you can find in the tri-state area and sit down to order a regal, all-American, full three-course steak dinner (though you’re both woefully underdressed – not that you care – though the host gives you a dirty look). All the while, you tell Joel about your major (psychology) and how you want to become a counselor for abused children.

“That’s sort of beautiful, sweetheart,” he tells you with a genuine smile that used to be so hard to coax from him, but now seems to float over to you so easily and gently like a kiss from something as soft as the wings of a butterfly. “Wanting to help defenseless children. You’re kinda like a guardian angel for them, ya know? Damn proud of ya! Also, these mashed potatoes are goddamn delectable!” he exclaims after taking an experimental bite. “Have I mentioned that prison food is shit?”

You smile bashfully and want to tell him that he is your guardian angel (you wonder if he thinks the same of you) and inspiration in a backward sort of way for wanting to help kids in the first place since he was so good at protecting you for the most part (though you obviously don’t believe violence is the correct answer in your line of future work). But kids need protectors. Somehow you know that deep down you forgive him for all of the violence he caused because you would forgive him for anything. And him being proud of you? You don’t think there’s a better feeling in the world than that! You burst with pride. Your real father never said that to you, but Joel doesn’t feel like your father now. He is something different entirely. Something that entirely belongs to you.

“And you’ll meet my boyfriend, Max, tomorrow,” you nod as Joel moves onto the steak and lets out a soft moan at how good it tastes. “He’s heard a lot about you.”

Joel’s face flattens.

“And who is this kid exactly?” he sneers a little, attacking the steak with his knife. 

You smile internally at the obvious jealousy he’s trying to hide from his voice.

“Hey, Max is a decent guy!” you insist in his defense. “He’s pre-law. Real smart. He’s gonna be an important person someday, I know it. You’ll get on.”

That last part is a bit of a lie since you’re not sure the two will actually like each other. 

Joel examines your face, looks deep into your eyes.

“All I know is, just because someone is important, don’t mean they’re good to you or for you for that matter.” 

You can’t help but think of your father, the most “important” man you know and how much of a degenerate he is compared to someone ostensibly average like Joel who didn’t even have a status symbol like a college degree and how perfect of a man you think he is, despite his obvious flaws. You blush a little, scrunching up your nose. 

“Just lookin’ out for you, sweetheart,” he continues, smiling at the way you do. “He ever fuck with you – he ever break your heart, you know just where to send him, alright?”

“Yeah, Joel,” you grin. “Don’t need you getting any more jail time though, alright?” “You may have made a valid point,” he concedes with a smirk. 

***

When you two enter your shitty, one-bedroom apartment it’s already dark outside. Joel actually grins when he notices his and your guitars have both been mounted on the wall. 

“We can play ‘em tomorrow,” you tell him excitedly. “If you want to, I mean…”

“Hell yeah, I do,” Joel smiles. “Wanna hear ya singing for me, honey. I missed that.”

You smile to yourself.

“You can have my bed, and I’ll take the couch,” you decide, getting back to business. 

“No way, babygirl. I ain’t taking your bed.”

“Joel, you’ve literally been on a prison mattress for eight fucking years! Can’t imagine that’s been very comfortable.”

“That’s exactly why I won’t mind the couch. That’ll feel like heaven to me. Don’t want you messin’ up your back, sweetheart.”

You open your mouth, but Joel beats you.

“And that’s that,” he insists. 

“Alright, alright,” you concede, knowing by the look on his face he’s not budging. If one thing, Joel has always been stubborn, but you like that about him. “D’you wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Actually, baby, if ya don’t mind, I’d like a quick shower. Been dreaming about taking a real, private one for ages.”

“Yeah, of course!” you nod, motioning toward your bathroom door. “Towels are under the sink.”

Joel makes his way inside and soon steam is billowing out the bottom of the door. 

You busy yourself with some homework, but just as you walk past the door to grab a glass of water, you think you hear Joel singing.

You listen more closely over the fall of the running water and make out him singing the chorus of an old ABBA song with a deeper, sadder tone to it,

♪ “ Slipping through my fingers all the time / I try to capture every minute / The feeling in it / Slipping through my fingers all the time / Do I really see what's in her mind? / Each time I think I'm close to knowing / She keeps on growing / Slipping through my fingers all the time…” ♫

You feel like such a sap, but you feel a tear forming in your eye at the way Joel must be thinking about his and your relationship and everything he missed in your life. You aren’t mad at him, but his absence hurt in a way you didn’t know you could feel. And you’ve never blamed him, really, but the lack of him for eight years of milestones really did kill a piece of you. You can’t help but imagine a butterfly at the bottom of your stomach with its wings pulled off. That’s how you felt all that time without Joel – like a butterfly without wings. A writhing worm of a human being, senseless and lost in a giant world full of forces you couldn’t control. 

You listen to Joel’s beautiful, deep voice until you hear him turn off the tap and you scurry away and act innocent. 

Joel emerges from the bathroom then with nothing but a white towel around his waist, steam from the shower floating lazily into the room behind him like precession. And oh, wow, is he ever a sight to behold. His hair is wet, dark brown flecked with grey, and starting to get curly from the moisture. You also can’t help but notice his broad chest, the expanse of it, the dark curls of hair, his bulking, muscular tattooed arms, his soft, hairy tummy, the V-shape of muscle that descends beneath the towel, his happy trail. You are overwhelmed by the soaking beauty of him. You’d seen Joel shirtless before, sure, but it had never felt like this . 

“Gon’ grab some of those clothes you bought for me and then maybe we could watch something?” Joel asks as you try so fucking hard not to stare at him.

“Sure!” you squeak, staring down at your notebook at the kitchen counter. 

You think you see a smirk from Joel, but you're not sure because your gaze is averted as he grabs some clothes to change into and disappears back into the bathroom.

When he reemerges, dressed in a wifebeater and shorts that accentuate his form, you two sit next to each other on your cushy sofa and surf the TV for something to watch. You feel Joel’s hairy knees against your jean-clad one and your heart flutters.

“Can’t believe I’m really here,” Joel says softly as you pass re-runs of Full House, a dog show. “Like I gotta fuckin’ pinch myself to know it’s not a dream.”

Suddenly you feel a large, weathered hand on your cheek.

“Missed you so much, babygirl,” he murmurs, looking into your eyes, massaging the line of your jaw ever so lightly, trying to hold your skittish gaze. “More than I even have words for.”

First, you avoid looking at him a bit bashfully, but then you stare up cautiously into those big brown eyes that feel like a familiar kind of home and you’re such a goner. You lean into his warmth, the warmth of his hand.

“Missed you too, Joel. So much,” you admit, never wanting this moment to end or him to let go of you. “More than anything.”

He leans forward a little and for a second you think…but then he’s leaning in and planting a heavy kiss on your forehead. A kiss that has weight to it – not those soft, weak ones that Max gives you haphazardly when he’s drunk or high – the only time he’s brave enough to be vulnerable with you. This kiss says something, means it so sincerely too. 

“Love you, honey,” he tells you. Then his face falls. “Sorry I…wasn’t quite there to say that to you enough in person.”

“It’s okay, Joel. I forgive you,” you insist. “I love you so much, dummy. More than you even know!”

But you truly do appreciate the sentiment. 

***

You settle on an old, black and white classic, Paper Moon, that’s playing on the TV Land channel.

Joel wraps a big arm around you and you snuggle close. You’re pretty sure there isn’t a better feeling in the world than being this close to him. Even after all these years he still smells like Joel; like home (and, if you’re being honest, a bit like your vanilla shampoo) .

You lean against him, your cheek pressing into one of his firm pecs. You begin to feel sleepy, drunk on the steady sound of his heartbeat, alive and beating against you and really here . 

You nod off.

***

At first, you don’t believe it, but you feel someone with strong, firm arms lifting you into the air, cradling your back and the insides of your knees in a bridal-style carry. The movement wakes you, but you don’t open your eyes because the safety and security you feel is too good to give up. Joel carries you to your bedroom and lays you down gently in your bed. You’re still in day clothes and shoes so Joel takes off your worn sneakers with a feather-light touch and places them at the foot of the bed – you can tell from the soft thumps it makes. He maneuvers you so tenderly under the covers and tucks you in with love and care. You wonder the last time someone did that for you and pull up a blank. If anyone ever did that for you it was probably Joel. Maybe your mom did when you were really young. Certainly your father nor Aiden ever did – your father hadn’t liked to touch you except out of anger – kind of like you had some kind of weird, contagious disease. Aiden’s hands had almost always hurt too, but not Joel’s – never his. 

He breaks you from your thoughts by pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your eyes are still closed so you aren’t sure, but you think he watches you for a second and lets out a long sigh. 

Then you hear your bedroom door close softly so as not to disturb you. You smile, you can’t help it, and drift back off into a peaceful sleep.

***

You wake up to a mumbling, grunting sort of sound. You look over at your clock and read 3:42 a.m. You sit up. You can kind of hear some muffled noises coming from outside your room. At first, you feel a little concerned – like maybe Joel is in pain or something as he is the only one who could be making the noises. The walls in your apartment are paper-thin. Like you could hear him sneeze clear as day if he were to because sound travels through the shitty walls so easily. You should have told him that. But what the fuck is he doing up at 3 a.m.? 

You creep (and you mean creep) silently to the door of your bedroom and open it the tiniest crack. The way your apartment is laid out, the back of the sofa is the first thing you see and the back of Joel’s head about six feet away. He doesn’t sound in pain the way he’s groaning and then you understand exactly what he’s doing. Of course the man is jerking off! After being in prison, stuck around people for so long of course he wanted a good, private wank. He isn’t looking at anything from what you can tell, no magazines or anything. Must be using his imagination. You wonder what he’s thinking about, if he’s gotten good at that over the years.

You should turn around, slink back into bed, and cover your ears with a pillow so the man can have some privacy. But, fuck, the way he’s grunting. His voice is so fucking deep and sexy and then he lets out a soft, vulnerable moan and you feel heat envelope your whole body. You think you hear a soft fuck roll off his tongue and your heart almost beats right out of your chest. You can hear the lewd slapping of his fist on skin getting louder and more intense. Then you hear a soft take it, fuck. And Jesus, you are so fucking wet between your thighs. You ought to be ashamed. Instead, you reach down your hand feverishly beneath the band of your jeans and soaking underwear instinctively to stroke yourself ever so slightly. You sigh in relief, but you are fucking gushing, your fingers covered in your slick. You can’t see anything besides the back of Joel’s head, technically, so this couldn’t be that wrong, could it? He lets out a soft groan, you can tell he’s holding back so as not to be heard, but the desperation in the pathetic little noises this hulking man is making is turning on every switch inside you. Oh how you want to go over there and take him in your mouth, to taste him. God you are so fucked up! You’re still touching yourself gently, not really fully going at it yet, considering the possibilities that could follow if you went over there. But before you can decide to do anything, Joel positively whines, moans, and grunts fuck, unh, and you think but aren’t sure, babygirl, and finishes.

You stop dead still in what you’re doing. Did he really say “babygirl” or was that just your horny-ass imagination playing tricks on you? You’ve never heard Joel call anyone babygirl except you. Was he really thinking of you? On the one hand, if true, mega fucked up. On the other, wow, incredibly hot. You think about going over there and asking him to finish you off or something as crazy as in all those dumb romance novels you used to read in middle school, but just as quickly as the idea comes to you, you hear another noise: loud snoring. Joel is asleep.

Typical.

You snort to yourself. That was so quintessentially Joel. You don’t want to disturb him now. The moment has passed. And only then is when you remember you have a fucking boyfriend. 

That doesn’t stop you from closing your door softly, crawling back into bed, and reaching your hand down beneath your panties to touch yourself. You stroke your clit, imagining it is Joel’s rough hand rubbing against you. Holy fuck. You haven’t been this wet since you used to touch yourself thinking about him in the past. It’s like he can reach every part of you, every layer in a way that no one else can. You know the whole thing is so fundamentally fucked up, but you can resist sinking into your favorite fantasy. The smell, the touch, the feel of him. You imagine the noises he was making so beautifully on the couch, feel heat coil through your entire body, and immediately cum hard without even sticking a finger inside yourself. 

The pleasure you feel is so unparalleled and real you have to cover your hand with your mouth not to scream out your powerful orgasm. 

Sweat drenches your whole body as you come down. 

God, you are so fucked.

***

The next morning you wake up to the wafting smell of someone cooking eggs. You emerge from your room a little sheepishly from last night’s events to find Joel behind the kitchen counter making eggs and toast. 

“Mornin’, babygirl,” he grins, his eyes shining like he’s excited about something.

And then you realize: that something is you.

You grin back.

“Good morning, Joel,” you beam at him.

You were so afraid things would feel awkward after what you heard last night, but nothing ever feels awkward with Joel. In some ways, he’s still just your average dorky, friendly old ex-stepdad, convicted felon. In other ways, everything about him sets your heart on fire, but it would be stupid to ruin what you have with him because you think it’s remotely possible he might be interested back. You know this is dramatic, but if he flat-out rejected you, you think you might die. Truly. Like those butterflies inside you would beat their wings so hard they’d burst your heart.

“‘Membered you liked ‘em poached,” he nods, breaking you from your thoughts. 

He scoops two poached eggs onto one of your plates and grabs a piece of toast from the toaster which he smears with butter like how you used to eat toast as a kid. You can’t believe he remembered.

“Thanks so much,” you tell him.

He grabs a few eggs and toast for himself and sits beside you at the counter. 

“Nice to be able to cook me ‘n you some real food,” he remarks. “If I eat one more cup o’ noodles in my lifetime I swear to God Almighty…” he trais off.

He’s looking at you like you put the goddamned sun in the sky. Your heart melts as you stare at his features, the faint curls in his hair. Oh, how you want to reach out and touch him. But that just isn’t how you operate. You won’t ruin what you already have.

The butterflies in your chest howl. 

***

` You lay out the day’s schedule to Joel. You have plenty of time to hang about (you see him eyeing the guitars), and then you need to go shopping for some actual clothes for Joel since the things you brought for him don’t constitute a proper wardrobe. Then you will go out to dinner and meet Max. 

Joel grunts a nod at that last part. He doesn’t seem too thrilled.

“Wanna show me what you’ve been playing?” he asks hopefully as he gets up to put both of your plates in the sink,

“‘Course!” you nod enthusiastically. “Max says I need to work on my fingerpicking so I can’t promise it’ll be all that good.”

Joel rolls his eyes.

“Show me what you’ve got.”

***

You sit down on the couch right next to Joel, each of you holding your respective guitars in hand, across your laps. 

Joel looks ecstatic to have his guitar back in his hands. He fiddles with the tuning and finger-picks a faint melody.

“Haven’t played one since the prison band. But then some dumb motherfucker clobbered another sorry son of a bitch to death with a saxophone so that ended our music privileges,” Joel explains. 

“Jeez,” you reply.

Joel is sitting so close you can feel his body heat. You just want to hear him sing, but he insists on hearing you.

“Joel,” you try as innocently as possible. “D’you remember how to do an A-flat? I forget and I need it for my song.”

“Sure, baby. Lemme help ya. Now put one finger on this bit of the 4th fret here,” he begins, snaking a big arm around your shoulders so he can maneuver your fingers to the correct position. 

His touch is electric. He feels so good and warm. You feel the intense urge to climb into his lap and embrace and stay there forever. His big caloused hand full of scars places your fingers correctly for the chord. The same hand that must have jerked himself to completion last night…You can’t help but wonder how much cum there was…The truth is, you know how to make an A-flat. You just wanted to feel him.

He backs away and you whine internally at the loss.

“There we go,” he says soothingly, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “That one can be tricky. Now where is my performance?”

Your nerves are squirming around inside you but you begin to play and sing to the best of your ability. 

You look into Joel’s eyes.

♪“ You've got a heart on fire / It's bursting with desire / You've got a heart filled with passion /  Will you let it burn for hate or compassion?” ♫ you sing. 

Joel watches you intently, sitting up straighter. 

♪ “What's the point with a love / That makes you hate and kill for? ♪

You sing as best and as seriously as you can. You look up and think you maybe see a tear in Joel’s eye.

When you finish, it’s clear Joel is finding it hard to select the right words to convey what he’s feeling. 

“I–” he tries. “That was…well, let me just show you how I can answer that if anyone ever could to a performance as beautiful as that.”

You blush. 

He begins to finger-pick a familiar tune, Instantly, you are transported back to eight years old in the back of Joel’s old pickup truck, listening to one of his many cassette tapes. It’s “I’ll Never Find Another You” by The Seekers. The original version of the song is pretty happy and upbeat, but the way Joel sings it slowly in his deep and weathered voice makes you feel sad and achy inside. The emotion behind his voice is palpable.

♪ “But if I should lose your love, dear / I don't know what I'd do / For I know I'll never find another you / Another you / Another you…” ♫ he trails off.

It’s your turn to tear up a little. It’s crazy to know he means every word he’s singing too. He sings like every word is his last breath. When he finishes you are crying a little.

“You oughta record an album,” you sniffle, leaning into his shoulder, throwing him a side hug.

“Wanted to be a singer,” he replies with a small grin, leaning his head against yours. “Back when I was young.” 

You sit back up straight.

“You did? I never knew that.”

“Don’t tell nobody really,” Joel replies, looking a bit sad you left his immediate proximity. “Just a stupid dream ‘n all that crap.”

“‘S not stupid,” you tell him. “You really have a beautiful voice, Joel. It’s like if I could take it, hold on to it, and keep it forever in my chest pocket next to my heart, I would.”

“That’s where I keep you, baby,” he tells you honestly.

He reaches up a big hand to yours and guides your own to place it right on his heart over his plaid shirt. You can feel it beating steadily below your palm to the rhythm of something as delicate and ferocious as the beating of butterfly wings.

“Right here.”

***

You take Joel shopping. At his insistence it is nothing fancy, just the local department store. That doesn’t stop you from dressing Joel up in ridiculous outfits of your choosing. You make him try on a Hawaiian shirt, some golf polos like your dad liked to wear, a pinstripe suit and he lets you because saying no to you has never been in his vocabulary. He acts grumpy on the outside, but you can tell he is amused. You know in the end, you’ll just end up buying every flannel shirt and jeans combo they have in the store, but it’s just fun anyway. You watch the fabric hug his torso, his tummy, the slight bulge at his waist. At one point he comes out shirtless and you try very hard not to swoon as you stare at the hair lining his chest and his adorable little tummy that you for some reason have the urge to bite. The band of his Hanes boxers sticks up past his jeans and he looks so good. He even lets out a genuine smile. The middle-aged sales attendant who is helping you even takes a good look at him which makes the butterflies inside you swarm possessively. 

Finally, you make him try on a proper white-collared button-down shirt and black dress pants with matching black shoes and he looks so good you’re actually at a loss for words when he asks you what you think. They hug the curves and lines and planes of his body so nicely. All you can do is ask him to put on a black tie to match and he does at your behest following some customary griping that he would never wear such a monkey suit in the first place. The effect that a fully dressed-up Joel has on you is not one to be reckoned with. He might as well be wearing the men’s version of lingerie for how it makes you throb and ache between your legs. He looks like a force of nature, commanding and tall. It makes you weak. All you say is,

“Looking good, old-timer.”

He snorts.

When you finally ditch all the fun clothes and grab the essentials, Joel offers to go pick up the car while you pay. He tries to give you his eight-year-old credit card, but you insist on treating him on the condition he buys the “monkey suit.” After a bit of prodding, he gives in and you go to the sales attendant to pay at the counter. 

“Your dad is really cute,” the sales attendant giggles to you as she rings up the pile of clothes. 

Your cheeks go a bit red. You don’t really care enough to correct her.

“He’s my guy,” is all you say absentmindedly as you fish out your wallet from your purse.

The sales attendant hands you the receipt and on it, you see a scrawled phone number.

“For If he’s single,” she explains. “I’m Barb from sales.”

You look her over. She’s close to Joel’s age and conventionally pretty with long brown hair. The exact kind of woman Joel should be dating should he choose to get back in the game. Your stomach twists and the butterflies howl inside you.

You take the receipt, thank her, and join Joel back in the car (who is more than happy to be driving this time). 

“What took so long?” he asks casually. “You two writing a novel in there?”

You think seriously about what you should do. You consider letting the bugs have their way and tearing the receipt with Barb’s number on it to shreds. But you want good things for Joel. The chance of you two ever being together the way you wish is so far-fetched that you know you shouldn’t even be thinking it. A literal pipe dream. He was your stepdad for christsakes. He literally fucked your mother! (Gross!). Barb is exactly the kind of woman Joel should be going after if he’s up to dating right now. You hand him the receipt begrudgingly. 

“Sales Lady likes you,” you sat flatly. “Name is Barb.”

“Oh,” he says softly like he’s a bit flattered. 

He looks back at her through the glass door of the store and she waves at him. He waves back politely. You feel your stomach twisting into knots. 

“You think…you think you’re gonna call her?” you finally ask as casually as humanly possible, dreading the answer. 

Joel looks over at you, his gaze sweeping over you. Then looks back at Barb through the window. He looks her up and down.

“Nah,” he says with a smirk, looking back at you. “She ain’t my type. Only need one girl in my life right now anyways,” he winks.

Was that Joel flirting? With you?

Regardless, you smile back and then sigh in relief and grin to yourself as you two drive away. 

Much to your satisfaction, Joel crumples up the receipt and throws it out the window for good measure. 

***

You get ready for dinner, to go to a nice Mexican-Japanese fusion restaurant that Max picked out. You wear a red dress that accentuates your figure and matching heels and to your shock, Joel reemerges from the bathroom in the white button-down shirt and black dress pants you picked out for him (you had been sure flannel would be part of his ensemble). God, he looks good. A part of you wants to ditch Max and just stay here with Joel forever. He looks you over, his dark eyes sweeping over your frame. You think there is a tinge of possessiveness in his voice when he says,

“ Christ, you look beautiful, babygirl.”

***

You arrive before Max and sit down at the fancy white table-cloth-covered table next to Joel, a booth facing you. Max finally makes an appearance a half hour late and sits down across from you, sweeping his hair out of his face, sliding into the booth. Joel is frowning and the butterflies beat their wings inside you nervously.

“Sorry I’m late,” Max announces, puffing out his chest a little and smoothing out his collared shirt as he looks down at his watch and then over at Joel. “Hey, baby,” he says to you. Then, “And, uh, nice to meet you. Joe, was it? Heard a lot about you.”

“Joel,” Joel replies flatly, eyeing Max.

Max is a good-looking guy, everyone says so, but he looks more like a little boy than you’ve ever thought as he squirms uneasily in his seat under Joel’s unrelenting gaze and launches into a tirade about his frat’s inter-mural lacrosse team practice and how his team should have totally won the scrimmage and that’s why he’s late. And of course, he was the one to score the most goals.

“And the taxi cab driver was a nightmare. Only spoke Spanish. It’s like, if you come to this country speak fucking English, am I right?”

You notice Joel’s jaw tighten and his fingers clench. 

“Max, that’s so rude!” you tell him, frowning. “We’re at a fucking Mexican restaurant!”

“Anyway,” Max continues, rolling his eyes at the interruption like he barely even heard you, smirking. “Where’d you go to school? What do you do for work, Joel?  Besides making license plates, I mean. Kidding!” he insists as you stare daggers at him. 

Joel leans forward ever so slightly but you slip your leg over his to hold him back and he calms down a fraction. It’s like when you touch him, everything tense in him melts away. 

Joel sits up straighter in his chair and looks at you, stretching his arm across the back of your seat protectively like it’s a casual thing and not an unconscious sign of possessiveness.

“I’m a mechanic,” he grunts unceremoniously to Max. “I mean, I was anyways…Didn’t go to school.”

Max frowns ever so slightly. 

“You didn’t go to college? You must’ve gone to trade school at least?”

“Nope. Picked up what I know over the years. Not everyone gets a free ride from their parents,” Joel smirks.

“Free ride?” Max snaps. “I’ll have you know I spend every summer interning at a law firm!”

“Yeah, your dad’s,” you can’t help but snicker.

Max’s cheeks turn a bit pink.

“At least I’m not a psych major,” he shoots back. “I mean, no offense, babe!”

“What’s wrong with psychology?” Joel snarls, his eyes darkening. “You ought to be proud to have such a thoughtful and intelligent girl like Y/N studying such a topic.”

It’s your turn for your cheeks to go pink. 

“Joel–”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Max sneers. 

That makes you feel a bit better. 

“I’m just saying, she could have inherited the second-best law firm in the tri-state area from her pops if she was pre-law like me,” he smirks.

Your smile fades, used to hearing this kind of shit from him. He knows you and your father don’t get along at all, but not the full extent of it. He also knows you don’t have an interest in pre-law. But you swallow down how you really feel.

“It’s fine, Joel,” you tell him, placing a hand down on his thigh.

It’s not that you enjoy the way Max has been talking to you, but you are so used to it from the men in your life that it feels like the common denominator must be you. And sometimes it feels like maybe they have some kind of point. And fighting back only makes things worse. You’ve learned that over the years the hard way.

“It’s not fine!” he snaps like he’s trying to get you to see sense, looking deeply insulted on your behalf. Your heart thunders in your chest. “This boy has never worked an honest day in his life and he’s telling you what you ought to be doing? Bet his hands are soft as a baby’s ass. He doesn’t know shit about you, babygirl.”

You may not know the hardship of labor that Joel has taken on in his life, but your hands are not smooth. They are full of scars. And Joel is right. Max’s are soft like silk. You look down at the most prominent, ugly scar on your middle finger. You don’t even know which man in your life gave it to you. But you do know it means something. Shows you survived something. Survived your stupid father too, not that Max seems to care.

But Max never loses. 

“Whatever,” he smirks dismissively. “Sorry I’m not some, like, common blue-collar worker. But I guess I should be taking advice from someone who became a fucking convicted felon ‘cause they drank too much one night,” he shrugs with a terrible sneer.  

You know it’s over then.

But Joel surprises you. Doesn’t immediately strangle Max like you thought he might. Simply stands up tall and silent over Max’s frame which has suddenly begun to shake ever so slightly in obvious fear, his blue eyes widening. Joel’s fists are clenched tightly at his sides. 

“Wouldn’t mind them sendin’ me right back in, ” Joel growls low. “Drunk or not.”

You shiver and Max positively cowers. 

“Got something to say? Don’t wanna take it outside?” Joel leers, smirking ever so slightly at the trembling boy before him. “I’d even let a little boy like you take the first swing.”

“Your stepdad’s a freak, Y/N,” Max stammers, not taking his eyes off of Joel. 

“Joel, it’s fine, okay?” you growl, not wanting him to actually hurt your boyfriend. Let alone in public! “Shouldn’t talk about Joel like that though, Max! Jesus!”

“Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” Max tries, eyeing back and forth between you and Joel. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t get what you see in him with a real Dad like yours! Your dad has so much to give you!”

Look out for you? So much to give you? What could he possibly give besides a stupid law firm and two black eyes? 

Max looks a bit desperate. Him apologizing for anything is actually a new concept for you. Your heart twitches ever so slightly. He must actually like you a lot. But Joel would never do anything to hurt you if it was in his power. At least not intentionally, unlike your real father. 

“That’s it. I’m leaving,” Joel snarls moodily, turning around. “Don’t want to do things I might regret to Mr.Future-Corporate-Lawyer over here. Have fun with him .”

Joel looks deeply hurt. Like you are choosing Max over him or something. That’s never what this has been about, has it? Doesn’t Joel know you’d do anything for him? That the hurt on his face hurts you more than anything you’ve ever felt. Ever.

“Joel, wait!” you decide and disappear after him, leaving Max behind at the table.

“Babe, what the fuck!?” Max yells, but you don’t care. “Come back here!”

***

You ride back in silence, Joel’s hands turning white against his grip on the steering wheel. 

When you break through to the front door of your apartment, Joel finally snaps, the anger on his face directed at something that feels like you for the first time in your life.

“You really love that little son of a bitch, don’t you?” he sneers, uncharacteristically harshly towards you. 

“So what if I did?” you shoot back, a little shocked. “It’s none of your business, Joel. What the fuck?”

“It is so my business,” he snaps back. “That kid is no good for you, Y/N. He doesn’t understand you. You deserve someone much better than that who will actually go to the ends of the earth for you. He wouldn’t do anything for you.”

There is a desperation and vulnerability in Joel’s words and tone that you’re not sure you’ve heard before. He sounds like he had been waiting the whole car ride to say this, maybe even his whole life. You aren’t sure.

“Max does give a shit about me,” you try to convince yourself, getting angrier. “I mean at least he was there for me while you were gone.”

Joel flinches.

“How do you know what’s so good for me and what’s not when you dipped out of my life for eight years?” you continue harshly. “Because why? It wasn’t because you were drunk, was it? It was because you couldn’t control your anger. You never could.”

He stares at you.

“I controlled it for you,” Joel says so quietly you almost miss it. “ You are the only reason I did any of it.”

“What?” you stammer, not sure you want to hear more. “W-what do you mean, Joel? Any of what?”

A million thoughts begin to run through your mind, but you push them aside. Theories about the case and your ideas of Joel’s true nature all threaten to drown you but you push them away.

“Do you want to know why I really killed that sick son of a bitch?” Joel asks dangerously after a long moment of silence. You stare at him, your body frozen. He looks down at his hands, flexing them like he can still feel them punching or around that disgusting man’s throat. “Why I killed him all those years ago? It was no accident, I’ll give you that. Manslaughter, my ass. I killed that scum of the Earth because he threatened you . To do terrible things to you with those disgusting hands of his. So I broke each one, but it wasn’t enough. I killed him because I didn’t want you to get hurt and because I didn’t want you to live in fear of him. I was tired, Y/N. Tired of being afraid for you in a world that doesn’t let you do shit except fight back. I loved you so much, Y/N, it hurt me. It scared me, but I couldn’t let him hurt you. I’d die before I let anyone hurt you again, not him, not your father, not Max, not anyone. You have to understand. I love –” 

And then it’s all over. You’re not sure who moves first, but you think it might be you. The butterflies are rustling and thundering and screeching inside you and you kiss him. And Joel kisses back, devouring your mouth in his. You grab the back of his graying brown hair and pull him as close to you as you think is humanly possible. He cradles the back of your head so gently you almost lose your breath. And you are kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. There is nothing else in the universe except this kiss. You have never felt anything like this in your life. It is like every butterfly inside you has gone silent. It is like the world has stopped just for you and something new is forming inside you.

Joel killed that vile man for you. To keep you safe. Like he always said or showed that he would. He gave his life away for you. He did the unspeakable for you.

He bites down on your bottom lip and all your brain can manage to coherently think is: more, harder .

But then Joel is breaking away from you slowly.

NO! your heart cries out, the delicious pleasure and pain draining away from you. The butterflies swarm dangerously inside your chest, worse with every inch he travels from your lips.

“Joel,” you whine. “What? You…you don’t want–”

“Don’t even say that, Y/N,” he growls dangerously. “Of course I want you. How could I not? I have spent my entire life wanting you in some capacity, baby, but I ain’t no good for you either, alright? I…” he says slowly like it takes every inch of his body to agree to say this. “I am not a good man, Y/N. I never have been. I’ve done wrong in every chapter of my life. You deserve someone much better. I don’t want to hurt you. Physically or mentally. Our history… The damage I’ve done…” he trails off.

“You don’t understand,” you swallow, tears forming in your eyes. “You have already loved and hurt me more than any human being on planet Earth. And yet somehow there is nothing you could do that would keep me away from you, don’t you get that? The Joel Miller I love is not a good man and I don’t care. I want all of you. All of the pretty and crooked pieces you try to hide away from me. You killed a man with your bare hands, arguably one of the worst things a human can do, and I don’t care. I still want you, Joel. Maybe even more because of it. No one has ever loved me the way you do and that is the love I want and it terrifies me.”

A single tear falls down Joel’s right cheek. You reach up to wipe it away, but Joel grabs your hand on the way reflexively, so you help him wipe his own tears away. 

“I love you,” you whisper.

“I would move the Earth for you,” Joel whispers back.

“I know,” you nod. “I’ve always known. I–”

But he is kissing you again before you can say another word, like a man starved. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingers caressing his stubbly beard. 

“ Joel,” you whine when you break for air.

“I wanted this so badly,” he says softly, grinning a lopsided grin. “Can’t believe this is real.”

“Me too,” you giggle.

You have to lean up a bit, but you press your forehead to his gently.

“Oh, baby,” Joel smirks. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive, ya know that? You like

it when I go a little rough, honey?” he smirks down at you in satisfaction, reading your mind.

You have to stop yourself from getting lost in the warm pools of his brown eyes, your panties soaked.

He reaches an affectionate hand down to rub your side softly.

“This okay, babygirl?” he coos, massaging his hand down your torso.

“I’d let you do anything to me, don’t you know?” you snicker. “Pain or pleasure, it’s all the same to me. I like all of that. I just want you so bad.”

“Think a safe word is in order,” Joel grins, leaning down to kiss your neck. “How about ‘butterflies?’” you suggest. 

“Sounds good to me, baby,” he grins, looking genuinely happy for the first time in hours. 

He leans down and places a calloused hand around your throat, not squeezing (yet – you hope) and plants soft kisses and bites down your expanse of skin. 

“All mine,” he mutters into your skin. “My beautiful babygirl.”

You feel his erection pressing against you through his black dress pants which makes you moan softly.

His hand trails over your crotch and he starts rubbing over the tight fabric of your red dress.

“That okay?”

“Yes,” you whine. “Want more, Daddy.”

Oh shit. You don’t mean to say it like that! You know it is about ten levels of fucked up to call Joel that, but how is it your fault that in every fantasy that’s how you think of him? You figure you’re probably past the point of weird and every other standard of decency, but you’re still afraid.

“Sorry…” you mumble. “I–”

“No, no, baby,” Joel says quickly. “It’s alright, you can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind, sweetheart.”

“You think it’s weird,” you mumble again, further stupid tears forming in your eyes.

He snickers. 

“Baby, I think we’re beyond weird at this point. Let me show you how turned on it makes me.”

Joel takes your hand and places it on his crotch. He takes your left hand, the one with the scar and you cringe a little, but he is rock-hard.

That’s good because you’re positively drenched.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Daddy likes that more than you know, alright?”

You take your hand back, smiling, but you cover your scarred finger, shocked he will allow this fantasy for you.

“Whatcha hidin’ from me, baby?” he asks, noticing the positioning of your hands.

“I hate that scar on my finger. ‘S so ugly,” you admit.

Joel looks flabbergasted. 

“That’s the last damn thing I think of when I look at you. Ugly? Who in the fuck told you that?”

“How it got there is ugly. It’s marred skin, looks gross,” you mumble.

Joel moves to take out his cock, and when you nod he unzips and unbuttons his dress pants, pulling out his length. You have fantasized about his cock for god knows how long so you are more than excited to see it. He reaches to place your left hand with the scarred fingers around the length of his dick, which is thick, but longer than you expected. The leaking head is almost purple and your mouth begins to water as you stroke him gently.

“It’s part of you,” Joel tells you, his eyes connecting with yours. “I love it. It shows you survived. Gonna jerk off to it, Daddy loves it so much. And when I’m done you’re gonna love it too. Swear I’ve got so many over the years I can barely even count ‘em. Even got a few on my middle finger. Maybe even one from a certain guitar pick you made me. Nothing like that could ever make me stop wanting you, ya know that, right?”

You smile and take your time stroking him, wanting to show him how much you love and care for him, scars and all.

He grunts softly, closing his eyes, but then shoos your hand away with a feverish kind of want. 

“Yeah, touch yourself now, baby. Daddy wants to see how wet you are for him. With that scarred finger. C’mon, now. ‘S gonna make you feel so good.”

You do as you’re told and reach down underneath your dress and begin to touch yourself, especially with your middle finger. You stroke your clit and then your dripping wet slit. You moan softly as Joel’s eyes rake over you, taking in every sigh and groan you emit. The butterflies are forming something big inside you, which presses against the inside of your tummy and ribcage.

“Daddy,” you whine.

“Enough, little one,” Joel whispers. 

He takes out your hand and begins to suck the slick off of each of your fingers, groaning deeply, making intense eye contact the whole time.

“Fuck, angel,” he moans, having a tough time keeping himself together, you can tell. “Taste and smell better than like how I pictured. Like you were fuckin’ made for me, I swear.”

He reaches a hand of his own down to stroke himself and his moans become more desperate. Finally, he sucks on your middle finger covered in your slick and groans so deeply you feel like you might cum untouched. He stares into your eyes. 

“ Mine, ” he growls possessively. “Oh, shit! Gonna–”

Then he takes your left hand and leads it to meet his throbbing cock. You stroke him, harder this time, fisting his thick length, moaning softly and that does it for him.

Joel cums all over your hand, oozing white globs of cum over your fingers, once, twice, three times. 

“Fuuuuuck, babygirl,” he groans. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! Couldn’t help it. Yeah, suck it off, baby. That’s it,” he commands, and you do, licking up all of his cum, even the part that got on your middle finger. 

When Joel comes down he still looks half-crazed with desire.

“Sorry about the, uh, early release. It’s been a while since anyone touched me,” he babbles in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed pink. “But I don’t wanna hear shit about your gorgeous hands ever again, you hear me, babygirl?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you nod, snickering. 

He looks like that one word has set his entire universe back in order again. You honestly don’t care at how fast Joel came. You love how much it shows he wants you. And his heady taste is making you weak. You could taste him for days and days and never get tired, you’re sure.

“Can still get you off though, don’t worry. Shoulda let you cum first, but I couldn’t help it with the things you do to me. Goddamn. Can Daddy eat your pussy, baby?”

You grin, but then your face falls. 

“Didn’t shave,” you admit, feeling dirty. 

Max hates your hair down there.

Joel looks at you in confusion.

He laughs, his face scrunching up.

“Oh, sweetheart. You think I care about that? Only little boys give a shit about things like that. Not men.”

You shiver.

“Really?”

“Of course I don’t care. Didn’t ya hear what I just said? C’mon now. You can lie down on the couch.”

You follow instructions, pulling your dress over your head to reveal white lace panties and no bra. 

You move to take the panties off, but Joel stops you, staring at the lines and curves of your body. 

“Jesus, fuck,” he growls, taking you in.

You think you see his cock twitch ever so slightly. He palms his softening length instinctively.

“Beautiful,” he snarls, pushing you back on the sofa. 

You happily fall backward. 

He lies on top of you, his white button-down shirt pressing against your naked body tantalizingly. 

He bites your lips roughly and you groan against him.

“Daddy’s mouth,” he commands against you.

“Yeah, duh, Daddy,” you snicker.

As if he even needs to say it! 

He kisses down your neck expertly and you begin to shiver and whine, your pussy aching with need and neglect.

He stops at your breasts, sucking and biting each one.

“Daddy’s tits,” he declares, snaking a finger over the lace panties that protect your clit. “Of course,” you respond, moaning softly, grinding needily against him.

He continues lower, licking down your breasts and over your tummy which he plants with kisses that tickle and then one hard bite on your hip that leaves behind teeth marks.

“Daddy’s body,” he impresses upon you.

“Yes, Daddy. Only yours.”

“No more of that little shithead, Max,” he snarls, an inch above your clit.

“No more Max,” you repeat as he presses kisses down your pussy, still covered by soaked white lace panties. 

“Only Daddy.”

“Only you.”

“Good girl,” he growls.

He finally removes your panties and begins to eat and suck your clit and pussy so hard and enthusiastically, swirling his tongue around your bundles of nerves that you grow exponentially closer by the second.

“Joel,” you whine. “Oh my God.”

It doesn’t take long. The second his calloused hand is pressing a finger and then two inside of you it’s over. You were so needy for him that you could have even cum from just his mouth alone, but his hands are what send you over the edge. And something different happens as orgasm crashes down upon you. The butterflies all join together and transform into something bigger and softer, caressing your insides, cooing. It feels like a breathing white dove is spreading its wings inside you, the tips of its feathers brushing against your rib cage. And you cum harder than you ever have in your life. 

Pleasure engulfs you in currents, facilitated by the gentle flapping from deep

inside your body.

“ Joel,” you moan. “Oh my God. Daddy, pleaseee–”

“Please what, baby? Make my princess cum again? I would eat that pretty little clit and

pussy every day for the rest of my life if I could, fuck. God, so perfect and you’re so fuckin’ tight. Look how fucking hard you make me, angel.”

He takes one of your hands and places it on his half-hardening cock. Not going to lie, you are partially shocked at his recovery, but another part of you seems to know that if there was anyone in the universe that could do that to him it had to be you. 

“Never got hard again from anyone I’ve ever fucked before…” he trails off dreamily like he can read your thoughts. “You’re so gorgeous, babygirl.”

“Not so bad yourself, handsome,” you tell him lazily, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth as you pull him closer to you. 

The heat from his body keeps you so warm and tender and for a moment you lie on the couch, Joel’s still-clothed body pressed to yours.

“Can you fuck me, Joel?” you ask, squirming against him needily.

“You can’t say that shit to me, baby,” Joel groans, his cock getting harder. “Not quite ready yet.”

“Lemme help you out,” you offer, pouting. 

You reach down and stroke his half-hard length and then bend over and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock.

Joel swears, staring down at you with so much adoration it pours off his face. No man has ever looked at you like that before. You’re certain. Perhaps no man ever will again? Not like that.

“Shit, baby,” Joel babbles stupidly, his eyes threatening to swallow you up in that beautiful shade of umber. “Never gonna forget this moment,” he grunts as you begin to suck his cock properly, feeling it slowly get hard enough to throb between your lips with each thrust of your head and gluck of your throat. 

You stare up at him, your eyes wide and wanting and Joel lets out a soft, vulnerable moan as you begin to really suck him and take him down the walls of your throat.

“ Unh , babygirl, fuck,” he whines and you have never quite heard Joel so desperate before. “Gotta pull out or I’m gonna cum. Holy fuck.” 

It sounds just like it did the night you accidentally spied on him jerking off. 

“You’ve been thinking about me a lot, huh, Daddy?” you ask, releasing Joel from your mouth like he wanted, though his hips buck forward ever so slightly with desire, the tip of his cock just barely scraping against your mouth. He grunts.

“Maybe so,” he replies, looking a little guilty. “Don’t know how not to these days.”

“Heard you on the couch last night,” you whine yourself. “Had to touch myself ‘cuz of it, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

Joel reaches out a hand to cup your crotch and rub against your slick pussy.

“That’s so fuckin’ naughty, baby,” he groans. “Look how wet that made you. All for me.”

You steal a glance at his cock and find that the tip is weeping too. And he is so fucking big compared to the size of your hand. Fuck!

“You were thinking about me, weren’t you?” you whisper.

“All about you, baby,” Joel nods in agreement, his hips twitching ever so slightly. “‘Bout touching you just like this.”

He slinks two big fingers inside you and you moan deliciously, the feathery wings of the newly-formed dove fluttering against your insides. 

“Gotta stretch you a bit more,” he grunts into your throat, pushing in a third finger. “Daddy’s so big and you’re so tight, angel. Don’t wanna hurt ya. Not too bad at least. Not yet…That’s it, pretty girl, fuck,” he grins when you slide back on his thumb in pleasure which had traveled to the rim of your asshole “Good girl, so good for Daddy. So naughty too. Don’t think Daddy won’t punish you.”

“Want you to hurt me, Daddy,” you moan. “When you fuck me. Please fuck me hard. I want all of you – pain and pleasure. One hundred percent Joel. Joel, please, I need–” 

And Joel does stop for a moment.

“Never hurt you in a way you didn’t beg for,” he tells you seriously. “You know that right, baby?”

You stop your rutting against him and look into his eyes.

“Are you kidding? You would protect me with your dying breath. I know that, Joel. Never been afraid of you since I’ve really known you. Not once. I mean: fuck; you gave up your whole life for me. To keep me safe, for fuckssake. In every word you say and don’t say to me I can feel how much you love me.”

 “I do love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, nuzzling your forehead. “If I had to, I’d do all of it all over again if it meant I’d get you. I’ve made mistakes, big ones, but protecting you, loving you was never one of them.�� 

Warm tears trail down your cheeks, but Joel licks and kisses them away. 

“Wanna feel me inside you?” he asks. “Don’t wanna go too fast, but I need you, baby. Needed you for so long…Sweet little pussy’s just cryin’ for Daddy, huh? Gonna fit me just like a glove, I just know it — if you wanna…”

“Yes, please, fuck me, Daddy! Please, Joel Wanna feel you—ah!” you moan as Joel shoves his entire length into your pussy in one hard thrust eagerly. “Oh my God, please fuck me harder!” you moan, reeling from the deep blend of pain and pleasure of him sinking inside you, clenching down around the thickness of him. “Joel, please!”

He pauses, sweat glistening on his brow, sneering.

“You really want harder?”

You shiver. The way he says that makes your heart beat wildly in your ears.

“Because babygirl, I would treat you like porcelain if you want it so. I will never hurt you, my angel, my gift from god, my goddamn sweetest heart please know I will break my fucking hands before they would hurt you, before I would ever hurt you in a way that you didn’t want, no matter how much it hurt me. Do you understand me?”

“Of course, Joel. But you want it too,” you smirk. “You aren’t innocent in this, are you?”

“Fuck, of course i’m not innocent. I want you, babygirl. In every way there is to want another. Want every inch of you, inside and out. Wanna mark you up so the world knows you’re mine, honey. Want everyone to smell me on you and know I marked you, moved in you, darlin’, please, see, I’m no fucking Hemingway, I didn’t go to college, I’m not like you with words, but I need you to understand that I mean this with my whole chest and heart. Really, I’m not a big talker, never was, babygirl, but I need you to understand I—”

  “I do, you dumbass fucking fool!” you shout, giggling at his desperation. “I’d understand you even if you were speaking another language. You’ve made your intentions loud and clear. I don’t want a Hemingway, I want Joel Miller!”

You pull him in for a kiss and he thrusts in you again a second time and you end up moaning clumsily in his mouth, but you can feel him smiling , smiling like some dumb idiot against you and maybe you called him the correct insult because he is a dumbass fucking fool for you. And it turns out you must be one as well because you are smiling like an idiot for him too.

“ Joel,” you moan as he begins to move inside you, hitting deep places that Max or any of your previous exes never went. Pleasure is tracing itself along the line of your stomach. “Oh my god, I love you so much,” you babble and you’ve never meant that more than you do now.

You can feel Joel coming apart above you, plowing into you, sighing deeply. His grunts and moans and thrusts spur on the intense pleasure. 

“More!” you moan. “Oh my god. Harder, please, I need–”

Joel plants rough bites on your neck and kisses too like he’s trying to consume every inch of you. 

He places a large hand around your throat questioningly and you nod.

“Beg for it,” he commands in his deep, sexy voice — the voice that’s been in every wet dream you’ve ever had. You think you might just pass out from the sound alone. 

“Choke me, Daddy,” you whine as pathetically as you possibly can, batting your eyes. “Oh, please, I could cum from just this, but I want more. More of you. All of you.”

“As you fuckin’ wish, baby,” he snickers in amusement. “Bet no little boy ever fucked you like this, huh?” he growls, continuing his rough pace, slamming against your walls, his eyes growing wild.

“They don’t compare to you, Joel. It’s always been you. In every orgasm. Fuck, never felt like this! Shit! Shit!”

Joel reaches out his large scarred hand and applies gentle delicious pressure to your throat. You know even something like this can be dangerous, but you crave that feral look of violence in his eyes and the power that comes with it. You want him to own you completely – every inch of you. You want him to mark you just like he said he wanted to because he is yours and you are his and has it ever really been any other way? You can’t remember properly from the pleasure rushing through you, the white dove inside you spreading and fluttering its wings, cooing softly. You think it’s only ever been what you feel now.

“Joel, Joel, fuck!” you scream, orgasm building in you.

“I know, babygirl. I know,” he coos himself into your mouth.

He pulls you closer, presses his nose to yours, his lips to yours, biting and kissing like a starving man possessed. He looks into your eyes and it’s there! That look of pure predator closing in on its prey, that look of ownership but also the most intense love you think you’ve ever witnessed. You would recognize that look anywhere. Your starved brain cries out for oxygen beneath his iron grip. 

“Gonna cum again, angel,” Joel growls. “Gonna make you cum so hard you’re never gonna forget who you belong to. Whose pretty pussy this is.”

He is pounding so hard against your cervix and his dick is so big inside you and the pressure of his hand squeezing around you is so overwhelming and the scent of him could make you faint straight then and there, but you let go and feel yourself cumming in enormous waves as you squeeze down around Joel’s prick, the pleasure more intense than any single bodily experience you’ve had.

“ Daddy ,” you whine breathlessly, tears trickling out of your eyes. “Oh my god!”

“You’re mine, babygirl, always have been–FUCK!” he shouts into your throat, collapsing on top of you.

And then you feel him starting to empty himself inside you, painting your sensitive insides with trustful after trustful of hot cum. You’ve never felt so helplessly full and sticky in your life, the brilliant pleasure billowing through every inch of you. You want to feel like this every day, stuffed full of Joel’s cock, so close to him you can feel his heartbeat against yours, the one true place you belong. 

“So beautiful, babygirl,” he whispers in an exhausted type of awe.

When your words come back you reply,

“Shut up, you’re the hot one,” through a snicker. 

You look down at your body, covered in purple bite marks and bruises forming like galaxies across your body. 

Joel snorts. Then he sits up on the couch and you lean your cheek against him. You lean up to kiss his cheek and he blushes ever so slightly.

“I said a lot of stuff, Y/N, but I want you to know that I meant all of it,”

“Yeah, you probably said more in the last hour than you’ve ever uttered in your entire life,” you tease, sitting up.

“I’m serious,” he snickers.

“I am and was too,” you nod. “I’m so glad that you’re here with me — that we did this. I know that our…origin story is weird and unconventional and some might argue straight up wrong, but I need you, Joel. I don’t care about that or think I could go back to pretending to be what we were.”

“You think I’d want you to act like that?” he asks incredulously. “You think I want this to just be a one-time thing?”

“Of course not,” you smirk. “But as close as we are I can’t actually read your mind. I mean…how are we going to be together realistically?”

“I’m not sure,” Joel admits, frowning a little. “For now it has to be a secret unless you want your mother or brother in jail for murdering me this time around. But someday, I dunno. It’s dumb…”

“What?”

“I just have these thoughts sometimes about you ‘n me. I…” Joel’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “Had a lot of time to think in prison, you know? And I’d Imagine us living on a ranch somewhere quiet out in the country with a flock of sheep. I could work at the tractor and auto-body repair shop that’d be out there, you know, in this dream of mine, and you could be a counselor at a local school if that’s what ya wanted. I don’t know, l know it sounds silly, but nobody would know or bother us there. But I want you to finish school and have the best life possible, babygirl. I’d wait a thousand years for you, but if you didn’t want me anymore the way we are now, I’d respect that. And if you’d allow it, I’d still be there for you just in a platonic sense — or just there for you however you want because I can’t imagine my life with you in it. I’d do whatever it takes, brokenhearted or not. I just can’t be separated from you like that again. A day longer in prison and I could’ve keeled over and died. And it’s crazy how much I mean that.”

“I don’t ever want to be separated from you again, Joel,” you agree. “I know the original plan was for you to find work and get an apartment of your own and I would love for that to still happen, but with you being intimate with me in every way – even if it has to be a secret. I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I need you in mine. I’ve never needed something more than I need that. Understand?”

Joel pulls you into a hug and leans his chin on the top of your head. He kisses it then your forehead. You lean up and plant a kiss on his throat and then his Adam’s apple.

“Don’t mean to get too ahead of ourselves now. We can take things a day at a time,” he mumbles into your skin.

You yawn contentedly, the tiredness clawing at your eyes, so unbelievably spent.  

“I like hearing about your dreams and I’d go anywhere with you, Joel. But I am kinda dead from how good you just fucked me. Take me to bed?” You ask exhaustedly into his chest.

“Of course, babygirl,” he smirks down at you.

***

You don’t let go of Joel all night long, burrowed up against his chest, his heartbeat against your ear. And he doesn’t let go of you either. After the most intimate night of cuddles and snuggling you’ve ever experienced as well as the deepest and most restful sleep you’ve had in ages, you wake up to Joel gone from the bed. You frown, having wanted more than anything to wake up in his strong arms. Fear grips your insides as you wonder if he finally realized last night was a mistake and that you were never meant to be together in the first place (what you fear more than anything). A stupid vulnerable tear comes to your eye, but then you cock your head and hear music playing. Guitar music. 

You think of your apartment as shitty, but truthfully you care deeply about your little private space and one of the things you do actually love the most about it is the tiny balcony that overlooks a measly courtyard and part of the city. That’s where you find Joel in the deck chair holding his guitar, strumming it lazily.

“Mornin’, beautiful,” he says, fingerpicking a melody that scratches at the back of your mind with familiarity. 

“Morning, handsome,” you tell him softly, plopping your smaller hand down on his shoulder. 

The city hasn’t woken up yet, the soft glow of morning shining beams of light onto you and Joel, filling you with warmth. You sit down in the deck chair next to him, bathing in the sunlight.

“Whatcha playing?” you ask curiously, crouching to sit up on your knees.

“You know the song ‘Hallelujah’ by Leonard Cohen?” Joel asks in that beautifully deep voice of his. 

He isn’t even singing yet but you could listen to him forever. 

“‘Course,” you nod. “It’s a classic. You used to play it for me once in a blue moon.”

“Know what the word ‘Hallelujah’ actually means?” he asks. 

You think about it for a second.

“It’s about praising god and all that, right? Why d’you ask?”

He pauses, both his words and fingerpicking. 

“Babygirl,” he begins and you can tell he’s about to say something serious. “You know I’m not too good with words, but I need you to know this: I’ve never had much to thank god for in my life, except for Sarah, you know? But then He took her away…”

You place your hand on Joel’s and he looks at you sadly, but appreciatively. He flips it over and holds it in his giant paw of his own marked-up hand. 

“And I was so fucking angry. Nothing left in me. The only good part of me gone. I was a broken man. And I hated Him. But then He, despite the shit I’ve done…He gave me you . And I know our road hasn’t been easy or fair, and the pain you’ve felt and I have felt but…I guess what I’m trying to say is you are the reason I believe that any type of…goodness— of holiness— can exist in this universe. And I’m not a religious man, I don’t believe in most of that dogmatic type of shit, and I don’t think you do either, but I do think someone or something is up there and I wanna thank them for you. Does that make sense? Do you wanna hear what I mean? I just feel so damn grateful.”

A tear you hadn’t noticed was there rolls down your cheek. 

“Of course it does and of course I do,” you tell him.

You think perhaps this is the closest thing he can do to bearing his soul to you. 

And then he leans over and kisses the tear away and begins to fingerpick the familiar melody.

♪ “I heard there was a secret chord…”♫

You listen to his deep weathered voice as the sun grows higher in the morning sky, casting both light and shadow over Joel’s wrinkled, handsome face. The light trails over you too. You feel the dove inside you cooing contentedly, dusting its wings gently against the edges of your insides. 

♪There's a blaze of light in every word / It doesn't matter which you heard / The holy or the broken Hallelujah…”♫

When he finishes he places his large, scarred, calloused hand in yours and you hold it between your own scarred fingers.

“Thank you, Joel,” you tell him, meaning every word. “I think there’s hope for us, you know? I don’t believe in hippie-dippie type stuff, but something in this universe did bring us together. And I’ll be forever grateful for that too, ya know?”

Joel squeezes your smaller hand, his big fingers engulfing yours as the dove coos louder inside you.

“Babygirl, you know that I ain’t a good man, or a rich and educated one like maybe you thought you’d end up with, but I am less of a broken one because of you and I’m never letting you go. If we’re together, I think we have a chance.”

A/n:PLEASE COMMENT LIKE REBLOG IM BEGGING IM PLEADING IM CRYING DID THE SMUT LIVE UP TO YOUR DREAMS????

PART 1

PART 3 (coming soon)

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

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[ysljoon]

simon 'ghost' riley dom headcanons

wc: 884 warnings: fluff, smut, nsfw under the cut, dacryphilia, bondage, pussy slapping, creampies, oral (m receiving), degradation, spanking, overstimulation, creampies, aftercare, mentions of sub drop, dd/lg (?) a/n: trying to dip my toes back into smutty things it's been so long i gotta dust off the cobwebs MINORS DNI (have your age in your bio or you're getting blocked)

Simon Riley is the sweetest dom but don’t tell anybody that shhh

He knows how to make you melt with all the pet names

His favorites are ‘angel’ and ‘sweetheart’ BUT ‘lovie’, ‘sweet girl’, and ‘pretty girl’ are in the mix too

He is such a worry wart about you!!! If you’re at work/uni he’s asking for updates and doing check ins any chance he gets when he’s not deployed out on a mission

When he’s with you he’s always has an arm around your waist and keeping him close by so nobody or anything can get to you 

He’s a firm believer that you’re his princess so you do NO CHORES around the house 

It’s absolutely banned that you lift a finger at home so your only responsibility is to listen to him

He even loves to pick out your outfits (bro is such a cutie patootie)

If the weather permits most outfits entail skirts and thigh highs it’s his favorite combo

If you’ve had a bad day he has you smothered in blankets and just doting on you bringing you snacks and putting on your favorite show/movie and cooking you your favorite meal

He’s not much of a baker so he will probably DoorDash you a sweet treat (also because he can't bear to leave you by yourself when you’re upset)

If he’s having a bad day he just needs snuggles from you

Y'all are glued to the bed with your bodies flush against each other the whole day

He probably won’t say much either besides some grumbling when you get up to use the bathroom

He’s such a softie when you give him lil kisses he likes little pecks on the cheek and nose

He finds it so cute when you ask him to stoop down so you can give him a forehead kiss

He definitely prefers giving kisses to his babygirl instead tho

Mr. Riley is a sucker for giving you hickeys I don’t make the rules

He loves putting them in the places where everyone can see so everyone knows that you’re claimed 

It’s a pain in the ass for you though, sorry

THIS MAN JUST LOVES CLAIMING YOU

He adores the sight of you in a collar in the bedroom with you on your knees

Seeing you with tears brimming your lower lash line when you’re begging for him to touch you in some way for relief has him painfully hard in his pants

He’ll of course have a leash attached  so he can pull you closer by having you crawl in between his legs

He’s a throat fucker he can’t get enough seeing and hearing you choke on his cock

He loves seeing your spit dribble down your chin and tears running down your flushed cheeks while he’s using your mouth to get off

He doesn’t love the idea of degradation but he will call you the occasional ‘dumb slut’ or ‘cock slut’ it’s just what you are tho :3

Definitely spits on your pussy to lube it up before he fingers you

He isn’t super rough when he fingers you but is ADDICTED to slapping your pussy

He loves seeing it get so puffy the longer he plays with your pussy

Speaking of slapping if you’re bratty his favorite punishment is spankings

When you’re getting spanked he doesn’t let up until you’re squirming and sniffling

Once he believes you’ve learned your lesson and have apologized for your behavior he gives you soothing rubs with cream and kisses on each of your cheeks

Simon likes using restraints of some kinds (handcuffs, ropes, etc) and laughs when he sees you get impatient when he teases you with his tip right at your slit and clit

An avid enjoyer of doggystyle and missionary

He doesn’t mind choking but will only do it for you when you beg and beg hard 

An overstimulation king fr

By the time y'all are both done he’s came at least 2-3 times 

They’re definitely all crempies too (he loves the occasional money shot, and tries his hardest to avoid your eyes)

Lord knows how many times you have tho you’re definitely seeing stars

He has aftercare down to a science!! That man is so gentle you would never believe he kills people for his line of work

You’re somewhat prone to sub drop so Simon takes extra care of you

He’s very tender when he cleans you up and when he runs a bath he bridal style carries you

He’ll wrap you in the fluffiest and softest robe and place fluffy socks on you too to protect your feet from the cold floor

He’ll bring both a bottle of water and juice for you to drink and even has a snack/candy stash in his nightstand drawer

He’ll feed it to you while you’re situated with you sitting in between his legs with your back against his chest 

He usually will play some calming music in the background for you instead of the TV because it can be overstimulating for you

You usually fall asleep in minutes just listening to the low timbre of his voice humming along with the music

He’ll reposition you so you’re the little spoon and will place a loving lil smooch on your temple wishing you goodnight

[tyran-the-tyranical]

I keep seeing people bringing up Raphael’s line about Mol and are coming out with (in my opinion) a little bit of extreme takes.

“What a lovely specimen she is a blushing Apple begging to be plucked”

Firstly, this is just gross and predatory behaviour regarding Mol, just not in the way people are claiming.

He calls her a blushing apple and what he means by this is that she stands out - he sees potential in her and he’s planning on plucking that and exploiting it to his own whims. Of course blushing seems to have its own connotations but in relation to the apple analogy it makes sense. The sentence in itself is very disgusting and gross, but not because it gives off “pedo” vibes, it’s because he’s being predatory but not in any sexual way, there’s nothing sexual about it, literally nothing.

It’s gross because that’s what devils do, they prey on the weak, sick, elderly and children, the most vulnerable in a society because they’re easy prey (in their minds, etc) he’s also may be planning on grooming her presumably into a future position that would serve him later on (like what Korilla does now), yet might I add there’s nothing sexual about it.

People also bring up Gortash as an example but theres also nothing to add with that either. Gortash was abused by Nubaldin (who is an employee of Raphael’s), who says it himself that he would beat Gortash until he was sobbing, there is no mention of Raphael partaking in this let alone any other sorts of abuse (tho he’s not innocent here either, negligent in the very least)

Also, when looking at Gortash’s design it’s clear he holds some sort of admiration for Raphael, he copies his outfit somewhat with the devil’s accessories and such, which would be strange if any abuse by Raphael happened.

Raphael is a devil and if we even look at his father, who in canon, takes good aligned children/babies and eats them so perhaps the leap to something just as sinister isn’t too crazy to come to. Yet, at the same time there is no evidence of this whatsoever other than vibes which is a weak argument in the first place.

His line about Mol is purposely made to be uncomfortable and weird, Karlach even comments on it being such.

“please let me smack this creep”

The line is supposed to show how predatory and deplorable he is, but where I think people are getting confused is that they think him being predatory automatically means he is a pedo, which just isn’t the case. No where else in the game is it stated he has an affinity for specifically children and especially not in that way.

Karlach I think even says more about it after the conversation on how she sees mol going down the same route she did, as in someone taking advantage of their naïveté but not sexually, just that they’re going to use them to their own ends and screw them over in the long run, I think if Karlach thought he was being sexual about it she would’ve been a bit more pissed or comment about it at the very least (more than just calling him a creep lol)

Like I know I might be crazy for this comparison but this feels like when ppl were saying William Afton is a pedo, on the basis of him being (literally) predatory around kids and vibes - you can be predatory and not a pedo, the two aren’t synonymous.

I also think it’s kinda disingenuous to push away criticism by saying you’re only defending Raphael bc ur attracted to him etc, I can like his character and still think he’s a shitty disgusting person, as well as having critical thoughts on that matter, especially since I love my girl hope (justice for hope fr) and I will most likely always kill Raphael in my playthroughs too since he’s such a lil freak anyway.

I really think it’s just a total lack of media literacy, just because these characters are preying on kids weaknesses/vulnerabilities (luring them into selling their souls or grooming them to work for you in the future) does not equate to them being pedophiles. Is it gross and deplorable behaviour? YES, that was the point, but does that mean they’re pedophiles? NO.

The line is gross, it’s supposed to be, and I understand if someone’s first thought might be is he a yknow, but to stick with that and to boldly claim he’s something that there isn���t any evidence for is wild to me. Call him a predator, a groomer, murderer, a literal devil, all things he literally is lol.

Look maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m being wild, I’m not trying to defend him, he’s disgusting and literally evil lol, yet I still think it’s a misjudgement of his character, since there’s other evil characters in game but that doesn’t mean you can just add every evil thing a person can be into them, like minthara, even Gortash, orin or ketheric or whatever, they have their limits, (tho orin is probably the one with the fewest limitations lol) but if you’re going to call anyone a pedo have it be Mizora, least she grooms Wyll and follows through with disgusting touching (everytime she’s licking him in the promotion, EW, tho that’s not in game so debatable)

I get that with such a clearly and obviously disgusting line that that might be the conclusion people will automatically come to but at the same time I just ask that you do some more thinking on the matter, like sure he’s just a lil pixel dude but at the same time it’s a bit worrying to see how quick people will confidently jump and claim he’s a pedophile.

Anyway, media literacy is dead and we’ve killed it.

[tuxedo-floracat]

i'm OBSESSED with the imperial m fest accent look how perfect it is on Cyprus i almost want to redo his apparel (even tho i love his outfit) just to be able to see all of it ?!?!???!??! thank you fr user lilacfeathers and congrats on winning !!!!

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

|•♡•♡{Welcome pick your man!}♡•♡•|

|•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡{Number 15}♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•|

Dad thing

{♡} personal

- I hated when my dad did this shit like WDYM UR EATING M Y SNACK

Ignore the fear and focus on me

{♡} requested

- I lowkey always wanna ride a motorcycle, but I'm a pussy lowkey-

Left out in the cold

{♡} requested

- OPEENN THE WIINNDDOOOWWWWWW

Such a good boy! - NSFW

{♡} requested

- IMA SLUT THIS MF OUUTTT (w love ofc)

Try me.

{♡} requested

- Sunflower will kill someone don't test them.

Lavender tea's and cuddles

{♡} requested

- STOP IM SO SOFT FOR HIIMMMM RRRAAAHHHH

Fame is one hell of a drug.

{♡} requested

- So, Yandere Faust am I right?

would have loved it

{♡} personal

- Ah, my arcana phase shaped me in middle school ngl

POT OF GREED

{♡} personal

- HAHAHAHHA Puffer and Droid ref

outfit ideas

{♡} personal

- Gonna make this man my barbie the way I'm dressing him up.

Incorrect Quotes:

OUTFIT REPEATER

Tired and overworked isn't a good combo

{♡} requested

- Auron is tired and just wants Rook

How the hell did you get someone?

{♡} requested

- Ft. Faust who is dragging Auron verbally.

Golden Cage of Mine

{♡} requested

- A God's obsesstion ruins the mentality of the mortal he loves.

Demon summoning

{♡} ask

- This would be areally interesting ng;

John wick

{♡} ask

- Rook did say they were dangerous as Auron

A God's obsession Love

{♡} reblog

- My moot asked and I gave

Art idea

{♡} personal

- Teehee art idea

outfit ideas

{♡} personal

- Making this mf a Barbie fr

they both reach for the gun

{♡} personal

- OH YES OH YES OH YES OH YES

Even cooking mama couldn't fix this!

{♡} requested

- RIP Cooking Mama couldn't help Angel'

Does this count as a beach episode?

{♡} personal

- I need to write more about Jack

Incorrect Quotes:

I will.

Can the world not today?

{♡} requested

- Sugarboo is trying not to kill themselves bc of people. w the bittersweet boys

Eating disorder comfort

{♡} requested

- Sugarboo after a comment started not to eat a lot. So, Alphonse and Seth help them by being honest.

Insult MY boys? Nah come get verbally wrecked

{♡} requested

- Sugarboo is ready to kill verbally or physically for their boys.

Transphobic family HCs

{♡} requested

- How would Alphonse, Seth and Charlie react to their reader having a transphobic family?

Thrifting with the boys!

{♡} requested

- God I wanna go thrifting w Charlie,Finn and Faust.

More thrifting with the boys

{♡} requested

- ooo more thrifting w Seth, Auron and Jack.

Kissing marks

{♡} requested

- MWAH MWAH MWAH KISSES w Auron, Lucien and Jack teehee

Sweet, but weird younger brother

{♡} requested

- Finn, Faust and Auron meet your younger brother!

Caregivers for age regressor Listener HC's

{♡} requested

- Alphonse, Seth, Charlie and Auron being caregivers for their reader

Past addictions shaped me

{♡} requested

- This is pt2 of bad habits are hard to beat but w Alphonse, Seth and Charlie.

Stimming HC's

{♡} requested

- Alphonse and Seth with a Sugarboo who stims.

More stimming HC's

{♡} requested

- this time with Auron, Finn and Charlie

A short lover

{♡} requested

- Alphonse, Auron and Lucien with a shrter reader

Boo backstory?

{♡} ask

- backstory? yeah fuck it why not

Doomsday by Lizzy McAlpine

{♡} ask

- FUUUCCKKK SSTTTOOOPPPPP

Are you a Angel?

{♡} ask

- Fuck yeah their a Angel!!

Charlie x Listener x Jack

{♡} ask

- I love this need a ship name tho

more of above ship

{♡} ask

- teehee more ship talk

Boo being bitter when younger

{♡} ask

- This would make Boo understand Seth more ngl

More things on Boo

{♡} ask

- more about Boo being the one destined to kill Derek.

Boo putting the fear of god into Derek

{♡} ask

- Boo torments Derek

Boo changing and ruining lives they see fit

{♡} ask

- Boo is that person that can make or break your life

rair pairs names from moot

{♡} ask

- ngl moot comes in clutch w the names for them

whimsy/goblincore sugarboo

{♡} ask

- ngl love this idea

Long distance relationship

{♡} ask

- Bittwersweet but make it long distance

couple costumes

{♡} ask

- teehee Bittersweet trio in pirate and merepeople coustomes

Bringing your partner lunch - Middle ground

{♡} personal

- Test Darling's patience they don't care, Finn does and Auron loves them both but Darling PLEASE-

Sharp words and broken pots

{♡} personal

- Auron heals Darling and Darling knows he's panicking, Finn loves his partner's when they have their moments.

Family meeting? (Just the brother though?)

{♡} personal

- Middle ground where Auron's partner's meet his brother. Darling isn't amused and Finn is trying to keep shit together.

No longer you - Bittersweet

{♡} personal

- 100% rec Epic the Musical

Gravity falls quote - Bittersweet

{♡} personal

- WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO WEIRDMAGEDDON!!!

Grief

{♡} personal

- This is more of like a vent post w me trying to process grief.

Can we rest now?

{♡} personal

- Sugarboo just wants to sleep and cuddle w their boy's

round about trend

{♡} personal

- YV might die if he meet them in real life ngl

Boo dealing with stupid people

{♡} personal

- Boo will smite you don't test them

YV stories as anime's

{♡} personal

- I'd so watch YB anime's

Hamilton cross overrr

{♡} personal

- bc I had a hamilton phase

Twitter PT28 PT29 PT30 PT31 PT32 PT33 PT34 PT35 PT36 PT37

Incorrect Quotes:

doesn't have morality

•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•

[codename-adler]

[Haikyū!!] DIY Ask Game

doing this myself bc i'm anxious and making lists makes me feel safe. also bc sometimes you want to answer ask games so bad but nobody sends them...... eh.

First character you liked: Tanaka, my funny bald hype man. He still manages to have soft spot in my heart, to this day, and always. Truly underrated, imo.

Love @ first sight: Kenma (˃ᆺ˂) & Kuroo

First character you strongly disliked: ...Tsukishima

Hate @ first sight: ...Tsukishima

First favorite character: Kenmaaa 🫶

Favorite character now: still Kenma & Kuroo ofc 😭, but also Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Tendou, Kiyoomi, Atsumu (derogatory), Noya and Yaku my libero boyos

Character you strongly dislike now: Tsukki you are never escaping my hater ass i respects u fr fr bruh

Character you did not expect to like as much as you do now: Tendou!!! i was fr scared of him at first, and now he is baby

Character you did not expect to dislike as much as you do now: no one tbh, my hating game's been pretty consistent (lies. i could never hate any of them. none!), tho i have to say that i also don't really enjoy Yamaguchi's character come to think of it... got mads respect for Gucci

First pairing you shipped: Kuroken <3

Favorite ship now: Sakuatsu, Iwaoi, and Kuroken still (+ Brokuroo them morons are life)

Other ship(s) you read fics about / like: Ushiten, Semiten, Kurodai, Bokuosa, Kagehina

Pairing(s) you strongly dislike: well anything Tsukki really... but especially, especially Kurotsuki (Tsukiyama's fine tho) oh and Ushihina & Sakuwaka & Atsuhina.

Crackship you like: Matsuhana let's gooo! also Aone x Asahi is cute

Rarepair/Crackship you like but are lowkey very serious about: Osamu x Meian, Bokuatsu

Favorite m/f pairing: there's only really Kiyotana, but damn do they deliver

Character you think you are most like: this has been a plague on my mind ever since my first watch. nowadays i think i would say Asahi? or Fukunaga. subject to change. hold on—I might be Makki actually o_o

Favorite female character: not a lot there to begin with, but i do appreciate Saeko and Natsu

Sexiest character: IWA-CHAN, Kiyoomi, Kuroo, Atsumu (derogatory), Oikawa (derogatory), Suna

Favorite uniform/outfit: Karasuno boys for the school uniform - Aoba Johsai in close second and for the girls too - MSBY for volleyball as well as Nekoma 😍 and Seijoh || fav outfit that got me down bad is, like all of us mere mortals, Iwa in his hoodie & jean jacket casual combo

Favorite position 😏: Libero!! Yaku and Noya take my breath away every time, but it’s also the role i’d want to play if i were part of a volley team! i think i’d do ok (lmao)

Favorite character name: Iwaizumi Hajime

Favorite motto: 飛べ Fly (Karasuno)

Favorite quote(s): "Don't you ever forget my worthless pride." - Oikawa Tooru to Ushijima *CHILLS*

Favorite scene/episode: Uhhhh too many why did i put myself inthis position. Training Camp obviously!!! but also the Shiratorizawa match arc, for the Tendou content 🔥 and i can't not mention the Seijoh matches for the Iwaoi content and the Matsuhana crumbs.

Unpopular opinion: *sigh* this will get me killed–i do not care for Akaashi. i wish i understood him more, got to see more of what’s underneath. i love Bokuto, and i'm sorry babe, but his character and physique are really just average to me. and i've already got the Tsukki kinners and lovers on my case, so yeah, i'll be dead by sundown. while i’m at it, same goes for Kita-san. i’m sorry!! always mad respect tho 👍

Favorite fic(s): Stick with You (Sakuatsu) by lettersinpetals without a fuckin' doubt. Also i'll mention the latest 2 fics i read, Lockdown and The Loyalty of a Traitor (both Iwaoi) by DeathBelle because they are a pillar of the HQ fics community and their shit hits every goddamn time and it hurts so gooddddd 🤌

Favorite art: @amezure @fullwarmth @iinoruu @amalasdraws @viria @dictearchive @mookie000art @cranbearly (soodyo) and so many more that i can't remember off the top of my head but i thank you all for your dedicated work and creativity to the fandom 🫡😩🧡 oh and special love to @gayaest for their paravolley AU art <3

Character(s) you like to write/draw the most: have done neither officially yet, but i do have a Sakuatsu x Grey's Anatomy WIP, so i guess them?

Pairing(s) you like to write/draw the most: ^^

Favorite AU(s): Post-Time Skip, College AU, Mafia/Yakuza/Detective/FBI/Police AU (ik, ew & ACAB, but somehow for hq this one hits)

Guilty pleasure?: BokuAkaKuroKen - TikTok skits & memes & dance animations - my Sakuatsu MCD wip ^^

Favorite Opening: oh god... there's only 1 i don't like (u know the one)... i HAVE to say before i answer, this anime's intros are hits after hits after hits, and they hold such a precious and nostalgic feeling in my heart 😭 ok i'm allowing myself two: Imagination (S1PT1, SPY AIR) & FLY HIGH!! (S2PT2, BURNOUT SYNDROMES). honorable mention to the few first seconds of Hikariare 🫶

Favorite Ending: Tenshi Gaechi (S1PT1, NICO Touches the Walls)

Favorite team: Canonically, Nekoma and MSBY. Fanonically, Seijoh, MSBY still, and Shiratorizawa. (obv my heart always soars when Karasuno wins bc that's the way the story is supposed to make you feel! but i love them dearly so.)

Team you dislike the most: none? i'm not fond of Date Tech, but i appreciate Aone, and none of the teams are villains, just antagonists from the Karasuno pov.

And for the finale, Favorite meme(s): god so many this fandom has the best

obviously there are many more questions i wanted to fill in but this was getting too long and it's already OOC for my blog, but i encourage all of you to fill my asks inbox with anything you wanna know about my haikyuu fan experience!! 🫶🏐

i'll be filling in this lil questionnaire for other of my fandoms, and feel free to use the template and reblog with your responses!! 🤍

[soul-likeasecretinyourthroat]

Me and a group of friends went to emo nite at the rave last night and it was so fun! I got to do my friends makeup too!!!! O’s dads pretty funny, he held O’s face while I put on the first layer of eyeshadow because he wouldn’t stop talking lmao. I really like his parents, they are pretty cool people. He was a very good canvas tbh, he didn’t flinch and was patient with me too :) Once I was done with his makeup, his parents said he looked like Robert smith from the cure, and I fully agree with them! O looked so cool in the black eyeshadow, and it really was a trip for me to see him in it <3

After that, we left to go pick up 3 more ppl. A couple, B and R, who killed it with their outfits! The bf (B) wore a leather skirt, knee high leather stiletto heels, and some sort of tshirt (which under he borrowed his gf’s bra to complete this almost-drag look). The gf (R) dressed to the 9s in emo attire, rocking the mcr tshirt and fishnets. Me n Him were Shocked to say the least when B walked out of his garage like that lmao it was insane, very proud of him!

Then we went to go pick up M, and she wore her homecoming dress and a cute jacket, it was pretty scene inspired for her inspo, and she killed it!!!!

Me and O forgot to eat before picking ppl up, so we stopped at chipotle for food in our full emo regalia. Imagine just 5 of the most emo teens you’ve ever seen, and put them in the most suburban chipotle Ever, we stood out like a sore thumb! It was honestly really freeing to just like wear my outfit in public because it was so emo and I consider myself diet emo on the best days so I was happy. We got so many confused looks but I didn’t care, I was hanging out with the people I loved :)

After chipotle, I drove us (on the freeway!!!) downtown to the venue, and got parking right across the street! Then I started to do B and R’s emo makeup per their requests, and both of them have cool bone structures and I loooove doing peoples makeup fr it’s so much fun!!!!

O had a surprise tho, he brought with a second shirt that he wore, that he didn’t want his parents to see >:) it was a black, lacy, long sleeved button up with a flowery design on it, it was very sheer so he wore a white tank top underneath. We all looked so sexy fr, like omg

We got inside at 9pm, but it apparently didn’t start til 10:30, which was said nowhere lol. All good tho, us 5 got to hang out for a while anyway so it was fun!

Once the set started by the emo nite dj, the room got so fucking hot like I was melting in my thick tshirt, but I only had on a fishnet long sleeve top that barely reached my collarbones and a bra, and no way was I gonna be showing my assets for free (at least not to the 30 year old crowd of millennials there lol)! O got hot, so he took off the tank top he had on underneath the sheer shirt he had on, and he offered it to me to wear so I wouldn’t be so hot! Dude I like him so much he doesn’t even know fr like (I’m so down bad for him) anyway I change in a bathroom into the tank top and put the fishnet shirt over it, it was a very cool outfit ngl, and thank god I wore a nice bra and not an old one, because I would’ve cried if it looked gross infront of him fr

We all were dancing and having fun, and then O has the great idea of getting up and dancing on the stage, and me and M were like ofc that sounds like fun! We managed to get on stage and we were dancing and singing so much, the photographer took several photos of us together in the cool lights on the stage, they will hopefully be put on the www soon so I can see them! I love candid photos and I wanna see how I look in candids as well :)

I was really trying to be flirty with him (O) last night, and i was dancing really close to him, like within a few inches of him. I love to see him dance, when he dances with his arms above his head and moves so fast, it’s mesmerizing and I can’t look away. Whenever songs came on that had lyrics about love, I would purposefully get his attention and make him look at me scream-singing along to them, hopefully he caught a hint PLEASE! I twirled him like a pretty princess, and that made me get a stupid smile on my face :)

The concert got done at like 1 in the morning, and while we were walking back to where I had parked my car, O said that he wish he could’ve gotten any hot goth girl’s Snapchat, and I casually said “Omg what about me? Aren’t I got enough for you???” And he was mad blushing after that comment, hopefully that signaled to him how I felt maybe? We stopped at a kwik trip gas station to refuel and for a late night snack, and it was again very comical to see 5 emo kids in a gas station in a suburban area at 1:20 in the morning lol.

I dropped M off first, I thanked her for coming with and she thanked me for taking her lol.

Then, O got in the passenger seat and started playing music on my phone that was connected to Bluetooth! He played the full album of “Good God!” By rio romeo, which if you don’t know rio’s work is very romantic and like sappy songs. We both knew all the words to the whole album, and R and B were in the backseat giving each other looks and stuff, I’m pretty sure they think that O and I are dating, and I really hope that O knew that too >:)

We then dropped off B and R, said our goodbyes, and we went on the way back to O’s house. We kept playing the album, even if it restarted once or twice. Before we turned into his drive way, he changed back into his tshirt he left in. The moonlight reflected off of his skin beautifully, and it caught in his eyes which shone like jewels. We were talking about how much fun we had, and then we got to his house, His sister was waiting at the front door to let him in, since it was 3 am everyone else had long since been asleep. I told him that we should hang out again asap, and that I was really happy that he came with tonight even though he doesn’t know a ton of emo songs. He said he had a lot of fun too, and told me to be careful on the roads and go like 20mph because of all the deer on the road wandering. I said I promise I’ll go slow, and I would text him when I got home to let him know I was safe :) I watched as he walked down the long driveway into his house, he almost was skipping inside. I kept the album playing. I started my way back home. I regret not making a move on him, I really do. I don’t know how much longer I can survive without knowing that he might like me back. He’s so beautiful and sweet, his eyelashes are so long they touch his brow-bones, his off white teeth are the same shade as mine, those blue eyes that ensnare my gaze whenever I turn to look at him, the way his face moves when he smiles, the crinkles next to his eyes, the way his hair falls on his head, his nose is just perfect, his body covered in small freckles like a strawberry, and his voice that makes me weak in the knees and could tell me to do anything at all and I would no hesitation. (I want to hear him make noises that I didn’t know he could make, and daydream about what he would sound like, and how I can get him to make those types of sounds >:3 )

Sorry for the sappy rant, I have feelings for him that I’ve never felt for anyone else before ever. I’m just a teenager hoping that their crush likes them back.

Anyway, on my drive home (15 mins) I was tearing up over the fact that I already missed him, and how I wish I could go be at his side forever, maybe fall asleep on his basement couch next to each other while watching a studio ghibli movie or live-streaming an symphony orchestra playing. I got home around 3:30, talked to my mom for a bit, let everyone know that I got home safe, and ate half a pizza. I went to bed around 4am, but I could barely fall asleep even though I was exhausted because I couldn’t get him off my mind long enough to fall asleep lol

I need to be straightforward with him about how I feel. I’m currently writing down these tumblr posts about him in a physical notebook, that after I tell him how I feel, I can give it to him and show him how long I’ve felt like this for him, and some of my most favorite memories I’ve made :) I’m such a romantic it kills me.

Ok I gotta go to bed now it’s 1:30 am.. I’ll be back hopefully soon with an update concerning mine and his relationship >:) wish me luck!!!

[crabknight]

Thoughts on the losers

Chrom: okayish, unfortunately voiced by M*tt

Robin, whom I have named Hildegard: she's silly, I made her very pretty :]

Lissa: benched in favor of Maribelle sorry

Frederick: LOVE HE very serious. Decided on a whim he should be with Maribelle and not Sully cause I like his supports with Mari

Sully: AMAZING LOVELY SO COOL I am normal about her C support with Miriel (gonna write a fic about it later when I get the B and A support)

Virion: FRENCH JUMPSCARE no like I didn't think he'd actually have a French accent in the voice acting. He's so cool I love him

Vaike: WHORE I wanna know why he acts like that, I wanna study him under a microscope

Mirial: MY SPECIAL LADY HOW I LOVE YOU SO she's a mage and also her C support with Sully is very good

Sumia: no strong opinions, ended up benching her in favor of Cordelia. I don't really need her anymore cause she's already served her purpose of being Chrom's wife

Maribelle: THE!!!!! THE HER!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER SO VERY MUCH. SHE'S SO PERFECT!!!!!! AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST A LITTLE RUDE AND BOSSY BUT THEN HER C SUPPORT WITH FREDERICK!!! GIRL IS NOT LAZY, SHE'S WILLING TO PUT IN THE WORK!!!!!!

Panne: lovely lady, adore her. I like her introduction with Emmeryn :]

Gaius: I don't use him a lot but he's poggers. I like his intro with him just wanting candy, what a mood

Cordelia: neat :] I love her intro with Phila and how horrible she feels about the other ladies dying. Just. Ough. I hope she gets a big hug or smth

Gregor: the ideal man honestly, 10/10

Nowi: I don't hate her as much as I thought I would. Aside from her design, she's great

Libra: boy man totally. Lovely design, lovely intro, very excited about his VA because I really love her as H'aanit

Tharja: did not expect to like her at all but she's good. I like her intro

Flavia: SO AWESOME I LOVE HER

Basilio: Patrick Seitz moment fr!!!

Emmeryn: blood guts horror forever. Crying 1 billion tears. Don't speak her name! amirite

Chrom: Yeah I've never been a big fan of him tbh

Hildegard: OMGGG VERY PRETTY INAUSGFIUANSDGF great design for your robin

Lissa: Yeah I mean that's fair, I have a habit it using the first healer I get as the healer for the rest of the game so I use Lissa a lot, also because I love Owain too much to not use. Don't really have anything to say about her personality

Frederik: I mean, how can you not love him, he is great, you should see his supports with chrom, I find them funny

Sully: Yeah she slaps, definitly my favorite of the two cavs

Virion: Virion is pretty fun I cannot lie, and I will say, I was fully expecting him to be french

Vaike: YESSS YOU UNDERSTAND HE'S JUST MY DUMB FUCKING LOSER JOCK

Miriel: me when big words, she is very cool I also like her, important question here, who will marry her?

Sumia: Yeah I have no strong opinion either

Maribelle: I'm very happy for you that you love maribelle this much, it's great to see

Panne: Yeah she's pretty cool, I like her supports with Virion and her kid can become pretty strong

Gaius: There really isn't that much more to him than candy puns in my experience, but he can become pretty good

Cordelia: Yes very true, her intro is definitly one of the best

Gregor: MY MAN GREGOR HOW I LOVE YOU SO YOU ARE MY HUSBAND AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER fun fact I married him in my most recent playthrough

Nowi: yeah that's fair, I still hate her tho I am not a fan of her personality and everything, shame that her kid is so cool tho

Libra: the man ever what can i say

Tharja: yeah honestly, behind the sexualisation of her outfit and in everything happening outside of the game, I honestly quite like her, her personality is actually pretty fun and I like her supports

Flavia: YESSSS VERY AWESOME HELLO FLAVIA

Basilio: me when seitz

Emmeryn: sorry I suppose I just spoke her name

[bottomtrevor]

got any Michael headcanons u wanna share with the class? >:B

This prompt made me realize I don’t think as much of Michael 😭😭 digging thru my Trevor brain-rot brain to find crumbs of Michael ngl

This one isn’t really a headcanon bcz I think it was hinted heavily in canon but I’m not sure— I think Michael may be a sociopath. Doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person, of course, I think he just struggles to emotionally connect with others. Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to or can’t FEEL emotion— yes he cares for Amanda, yes he loves his kids, yes he cares for his friends/associates (all in his own way) and doesn’t like killing when it’s senseless (or at least that’s what he tells Trevor, I believe), but he definitely is exploitative and looks for his own benefit

WHICH brings me to my next point which I assume is also fairly popular— Michael’s exploitative nature was heavily expressed towards Trevor, especially in the earlier years after he’d understood that Trevor was really attached to him. So like Trevor was doing shit for him which he knew wouldn’t be done for him in return. There was always an (unintentional?) power dynamic — we know Trevor was relatively “chill”er in his youth, so I think he was more easily influenced by his need to please and be around Michael? Michael also sometimes (both unknowingly some times, and knowingly at others ) used “positive reinforcements” to not only keep Trevor on the right path, but also to keep him dedicated to himself. Why? Because uhh repressed LGBT activity makes a man possessive I guess

HES A SOCIAL MEDIA LURKER FR. he looks at posts from his friends and family, never interacts online but might mention something that caught his interest in a face-to-face conversation. (Amanda posts 2 pics asking which outfit looks better at 3pm. “The red one looked best by the way.” Michael replies when they’re in bed getting ready to sleep.)

Used to be obsessed with working out, obviously. He was a jock 🙏🏻

He just likes being a big spoon 🤷🏻‍♀️ never even acknowledged it to himself tho bcs that’s the kinda corny even he can’t stand

Can’t dance

Neutral towards pets/animals. Doesn’t have a particular favorite and doesn’t hate any particular one.

He gives me momma’s boy vibes (not like the vibes Trevor has tho? Much milder) I don’t know why. Can’t even elaborate on this one

Literally the entire fandom agrees: R E P R E S S E D H O M O

hasn’t cried since he was born 🚩

Before, his reaction to almost everything would be a knuckle sandwich 👊🏻💢 . (Being around the trigger-happy Trevor didn’t help) now his reaction to almost everything is just a blank stare ( “😐” looking ass) he worked hard to manage violent impulses and he knew he could only get them under control if he distanced himself from “bad company”

He doesn’t even miss his old surname at all. I think part of him would’ve gladly left it in the past— he didn’t really have a connection to it

Suspects that Ron has....something going on for Trevor (Franklin doesn’t believe him). Call it a crush or whatever. He definitely wants to tease Trevor about it

hes dismissive when it comes to heart-to-hearts. Doesn’t like lengthy emotional talking— he’d rather brush it under the rug. If it’s not a problem he can shoot at, please don’t bring it up 👍🏻 he CAN say corny shit every now and then if someone REALLY needs to hear it but he doesn’t really mean much of it half the time.

Jimmy and Tracey tried showing him vines and low-quality meme vids . He was not impressed. (He laughs at the kind of shit Franklins VA posts on his insta 😭 I wouldn’t say boomer humor exactly but.....lowkey boomer humor)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

TRUE the crow dedication is so real….like bro really took his last name literally LOL

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS>>> idk I just love exploring the different avenues and depths of friendship esp since I myself don’t like forcing romance upon anything rlly….also like some dynamics remind me of how I’d act with some close friends too like I’ve just never seen the need to ship or anything when you can have a perfectly developed and interesting relationship without having to be in love with someone yk I feel like it almost makes the dynamic and friendship even more meaningful sometimes

The second selection trio is GOLD I Lowk loved that trio and how they meshed together despite being such different ppl?? I also LOVED that arc for the Barou development bc omg someone who learns from their defeats and makes a better version of themself that’s actually so cool….

Otoya’s fit is SO on brand LMAO I feel like yukis has too many layers almost like just looking at it makes me sweat HAHA

Im ngl I feel like something looks a teensy bit off in that one colored art…maybe it’s because it’s fully buttoned or something? But I LOVE THE TURTLENECK TRENCHCOAT COMBO it’s like my fav outfit style ever and he looks SOOO GOOD IN THE MANGA!!! Ugh the turtleneck >>>> I have a friend who hates the turtleneck long coat combo and I’m like….bro…..where’s ur taste…. But fr I something about the clean mature looking style also just fits him so well too!!!

AOT LMAOOO what’s even funnier is (idk exact how accurate this is) but I heard rin was possibly inspired by two characters?? Eren and I forgot her name starts with an M I think….but apparently one of the authors was an assistant for aot I think so definitely fitting LOLLL

Ok and honestly the Hiori duality is also so fitting?? Like we see in the novel he’s a pretty open/relaxed chill little boy outside of his household and when he opens up to Karasu and the team but then BAM switch flips once he enters his home and I feel like the diff between white butterfly and fwtkac matches that so well…..I love a little angst sprinkled in sometimes too that kinda duality is just so good, just goes to show the depths a character can have!! I love it!!!

Trust me I will be EATING UP those hiori works too honestly being fed so well by all of your writing lately I’m so excited to read everything <333

The light novels are SO. FUNNY. cursed Nagi was actually hilarious and I remember first reading the Hiori one and the whole stalking thing was peak comedy like wdym you’re a 6 foot man trying to hide your near fluorescent blue hair under a baseball cap….I’ll never forget the line that’s like “he’s only ever done soccer his entire life…it’s only natural that he doesn’t know proper social etiquette” LMAOAOOO

I think recently my favs finally settled the was like swapping between Chigiri Nagi Rin and Karasu for a good while a couple months ago….i feel like new ppl don’t really ever my top five as much it’s just a matter of the ranking amongst them LOL

Also I love Otoya but I also LOVE Otoya slander HAHA I love making fun of him so bully him all you like LMAOOO

Nagi fr is just like a big koala bear….i remember being so shocked by his height at first but it honestly adds more to his charm LOL and definitely!! The parental neglect is kinda real for him too like…ppl take his “breakup” with Reo and run with it like are we reading the same thing….. the dark haired hot trope is too real like people just toss rin into that category throw in some Emo and call it a day like….i think especially the moment after the u20 match where rin looks at sae thinking he’ll be praised by him just kinda shows he’s just an emotional stunted boy with brother trauma like…..man…you’re so right about the fanon Rin being like aiku or Karasu though i do see a lot of like…smooth talker rin on here…..

TREADMILL yesss get those steps!! Chronically online gang rise tho LOLL but hey at least you’re being productive and active while online!!

-Karasu anon

he was assigned crow at birth and knew what he had to do from there 🫡 i’ve always wondered what his older sister looks like (apparently he had one according to the official egoist bible) i bet she’s sooo pretty but like. does she also do her hair in some weird vaguely-crow inspired way?? or does she think her little brother is a freak?? what abt the rest of his family?? LMAOAO questions we may never know the answers to…

even when writing romance i’ve noticed i’ll have one or two Kiss Scenes but for the most part i prefer showing love in other ways!! smth that’s always stuck with me is that if your characters need to kiss to prove to your readers that they’re in love, you didn’t do a good enough job writing their relationship. so personally even in my longest and most devastating love stories i hardly write Actual Romance!! i think the reason i don’t like shipping personally (again, full respect to anyone who does 💖) is because making the love between two characters explicit instead of implied often (to me) ruins the actual depth between them.

second selection trio is so so good!! and i agree barou’s development esp in the match vs reo kuni and chigiri was delightful to see. tbh when i first watched bllk i thought barou was a “baddie of the week” character who would only be relevant in the match against team x and then disappear entirely, so i was really excited to see him come back AND with a new and improved design (first selection barou kinda haunts me tbh why does he look like that…)

ohhhh i was talking abt the manga only!! i haven’t seen the colored illustrations but i agree the coat is a bit odd in them. i imagined it to be tan when i read the manga which i think fits him better than the bright blue but oh well it’s karasu he can pull anything off. he looked so cute in it in the manga!! when he took it off and went with just the turtleneck too…it really did give me such a lowkey but mature and elegant vibe!! like future businessman right there mr “if i randomly got 100 million yen i’d invest in index funds” bro is trying to be reo so bad DHSKSJSJ (speaking of which i do not fw reo’s fits he needs to hire a better personal stylist because some of those choices he makes are certainly. choices.)

HAHA yes i’ve seen that rin is supposed to be a blend of eren and mikasa!! i can def see it. i was heavily into aot back in 2021 though not much anymore actually which is why i immediately clocked the comparison!!

i know the karasu series is pretty fluffy and funny but i am actually first and foremost an angst lover!! i love writing absolutely heartbreaking stories they’re my favorite thing in the world. bllk is making me lose my edge though 😔 i need to get back to writing angst again…i think maybe i’m surprised by people being sad abt white butterfly because when i imagine angst it’s like death and inevitable ruin HAHAHHA but anyways i agree hiori def is a very layered character!! i’m excited to write more of him as well

oh my god the light novels are so sillyyyy 😭 when karasu made up an entire tragic backstory for himself just to mess w hiori??? he is so problematic i can’t even lie and the way hiori 100% believed him too had me bawling

OTOYA SLANDER 4 LIFE he is just so so easy to make fun of!! spoiler alert it’s actually not y/n who hates on him the most…let’s just say that our dear best friend who wants a boyfriend has major major beef w him (he is completely unaware of this ofc)

everyone says they’re surprised that nagi is so tall wdym!! he is sooo teddy bear i think him being huge makes sm sense!! he has such big fluffy lazy dog vibes too…yk the kind that thinks it can fit on your lap despite being the size of a small horse 😭 like THAT is nagi to me

i fear rin will never escape his fanon characterization 😔 but yes i think the teasing/sassy side that people give him is actually much more in line w karasu’s personality, and him being super smooth and flirty is way more aiku than anything!! rin has like one insult that he uses for everyone he is NOT a sarcasm god i’m afraid 😰 and according to the egoist bible he knows he’s unfriendly but thinks if people don’t like that abt him they shouldn’t interact with him!! in my mind the extent of his flirting would just be him going nonverbal and being like 🌎👄🌎 at you from across the room LSJDOWNDWJ hopefully you are a mind reader because otherwise you are never finding out he has a crush

YESSS unfortunately i do have to go to the gym quite frequently because alongside being chronically online i ride horses competitively and go to parties and whatnot so the body must be maintained 😔 HAHA it’s like a double life omg sometimes random guys will try to flirt w me when i’m out w my friends and in the back of my mind i’ll just be like “oh he has NO idea I write reader insert fanfiction on tumblr dot com” 😭 once i was at a party and i just took out my phone and started responding to comments on ao3 instead of dancing or talking because i thought the music sucked and it was way too loud 😓

[cowgirlcherrie]

YES, YES !! miu miu is everything I SWEAR sandy liang PERIOD the earrings are just so cute i love them so much

'm obsessed with strawberries !! let's hug forever please i really need it <3 PRECIOUS smooches for you and you only

laughing at ken is canon fr!! happy you and your mom had a great time 🫂 and ty!! ppl tried to make me hate it, (even my ex gf) 💀

you need that barbie outfit !! is so cher coded !! literally made for you bae

OMG YESS like with the bows, I desperately want them!!! her the hair accessories just as cute too. But i’ve learned self control and by self control I mean I looked at the prices and know it would be smart not to buy something I can make myself 😭

OKAY YAYY!! i’m rather sad tho recently its been seeming like the strawberries I get from the markets are expiring so quick :( omg I’ll give as much hugs n kisses that you want, my treat always! 🎀🩷 MWUAHH

ken was just… PFTTT I told my mom “this is so expected n true for a man in today’s society” left the theater thinking most guys wouldn’t get it now… it was amazing and Greta did an amazing job! NOT UR EX TRYING TO GET U TO HATE IT, gonna throw tomatoes bc that’s….

I will attain it even if it means making it myself, eyeing spirit halloween knowing imma haul ass to buy it.

[zuc6]

HEY! 😎 im a new fic writer, well like- not new but this is my first time writing like a introduction kinda thing so: (not proofread ☠️)

UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM FOR THOSE WHO'VE ALREADY SEEN THIS POST!! 😁😁😁

Hi, im vee. Just vee. Not short for any name or anything, my pronouns are she/they (afab🤙). i like to write oddly specific fan fiction that i dont necessarily see a lot 🦾

Im 17, 6'2 (the hoes gon loooove this), and here are some things im open to writing for

(ALSO feel free to leave requests i love other people's ideas)

Stranger Things

i WILL write for stranger things characters but im open to aging some up but if im uncomfortable im just like..not gonna...do it..

DEFINETLY open to writing like Joyce x Fem!Reader, since i havent seen that yet

Especially Milfs. Milfs 4ever.

CHARACTER POV'S, I've noticed in fics theyre usually from the readers perspective so its like only what the reader thinks of whatever character. Now while i like that i think itd be super fun to throw in what the character thinks of reader. like what they think of you, what they like, what the notice, shit like that!

The Last Of Us

WOOP i love the last of us. by the last of us i mean ellie williams and abby anderson

Im open to Ellie smut, Abby smut, Ellie AND Abby smut, whatever you want fr.

obviously not open to writing smut of minors so if you just so happened to let the thought cross your mind, no 😓

Idk how i feel about Joel x Reader shit considering Joel is like grandpappy but ive seen a lot of people open to it so dont lose hope if u were wondering

Euphoria

OK DONT BUG OUT im not like gonna write shit about underage characters like i said before

If you guys want euphoria shit tho im open to like angst or fluff mainly with like rue because obviously drugs rahrahrah

or like imagine being Fez's younger sister (only by like a year) Like fluff bond with Ash, showing him affection when hes not used to it, being close to rue bc drugs rahrahrah and like sister in law relationship with Lexi ykyk?

(i cant think of shit else)

Random shit ill write:

Reader listening to rock and being an epic hottie

Reader playing instrumentssss

I lean more towards Fem or Gn reader but i will do male reader dw

Reader being emo 😎 jk like metal lover reader

I will of course leave room for imagination but also include like Reader outfit photos

Reader having good sense of music, style, being shy, anxiety, panic attacks, angsty feelings, drama and trauma oooo

pet names

bold, punk, jerk or like asshole reader

Lots of aus, and like modern au bc im annoying

i was thinking of doing like a crossover of like Robin x Vickie but Vickies past is Anne with an E since theyre the same actor yk? it would be difficult to figure out since the timelines in each are so different

anything u want

will NOT write:

age play, baby talk, annoyingly cliche submissive shit, get that shit out of here

i wont romanticize domestic violence or make light of abusive relationship dynamics, hell noooo 🙅🏽‍♀️

Emotional whiplash, i want things to make sense

animal play. if you wanna be a bunny demon angel wolf hybrid please screw off 😭

Any kinks im uncomfy w (ex. piss kink 😦) ill let u know what im not okay with writing

tbp smut ☠️☠️

OKAY HI i wrote this and got extremely busy and just fucking like bonked out so here i am returning. i was gonna delste this account and make a new one because i didnt wanna like write this, disappear, and then come back and act like i never left sooo im back woop woop!

I HAVE GREAT NEWS THO! during my time away i found a new interest to latch myself onto and write about... and that isss...

THE BLACK PHONE

WOOOOOOOO I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! and rinney is so fucking cool. i love those little gays, man

rinney fluff and angst is needed so bad i love them with my soul, man

gonna say this once again, im not gonna write smut about kids so pLEASE if any minor hunters read all the way down here just for that, take this moment to consider jumping out of the highest window possible 🙏

fix-it au's and modern au's are gonna be my main go to when writing tbp content because i uh... suck...at writing fics that take place in the fucking 70's in denver ☠️

FIX-IT AU, like finney getting another chance is so good im foaming at the mouth. im currently obsessed with @starsthatlinethesky 's fic on that so (PLEASE) go check that shit out its so good!

brance, MAYBE, most likely. i love bruce hes so sweet and vance is cool so i probably will write shit about those little gay men

terrance and finney's mom place swap. i want to write about finney and gwen being able to be happy without terrance and his destruction so hes getting erased at least once or twice 😊

gwen pov fics since i havent seen a lot of that

stranger things x tbp crossovers are so cool. like finney/will where will moves for whatever reason w his dad after season 2 or 3 since itd make the most sense. i love that shit

not writing smut but i probably will age everyone up a bit once or twice 🤘

i dont know if im gonna end up making x reader shit but if i do, reader isnt gonna be a preppy giddy child, theyre gonna be a punk, an asshole, a badass, closed off and overall AWESOME. you're welcome 🤗

other than that its pretty much fine, if u have any other like show ideas i might be open to write for hmu in the requests babeee MWA MWA

-Vee

[reecethegeek]

euphoria season 2 episode 8 live blog

- gosh I'm fucking nervous, fez got the note in his hands

- OMG FAYE HELPED THANK FUCKING GOD! THAT SHIT HAD ME STRESSING FOR FUCKING WEEEEKKKSSSS. YES PIN IN ON LAURIE!! IMAGINE IF IT WORKS THO

- HOLY SHIT, THE LEAKS AIN'T CAP ABOUT ASH SLITTING CUSTER'S THROAT. DAMNNN

- ok how they gonna give me a cute fexi phone call after all that stressful ass shit like i haven't calmed down

- ok fez throwing hella hints bro "there's 3 kids in that show" the show he fucking said he want his future to look like after lex said she want 3 kids

- ah the blue sweater, we've been wanting for weeks

- fexi don't got common interests but they got common character traits and that's the real shit

- so no rue narration??

- OH HELL NO FUCK OFF CASSIE. SECURITY!! SECURITY!!

- bro this bitch had the AUDACITY to make it about her. DISGUSTING

- OMG SUZE AND YES ETHAN!! MY MAN

- maddy come get her please!

- YES BOO HER BITCH ASS, NOBODY LIKE YOU

- OOP YES MADDY, GET ON HER ASS. GET HER!!

- "idk I'm panicking, go away." MOOD

-omg not the carnival scene

- bro wtf she attacked that girl

- yes maddy GET HER

- OMG YES BB I AGREE AND KAT IS SO FUNNY

- I LOVE SUZE COVERING THIS UP LIKE TEEHEE SHOW TIME

- ew elliot

- ok rue forgave elliot BUT does she know about him and jules??

- the only good thing elliot has done has been play the guitar and sing. he should do just this in s3

- ok but is this like a real song I can get on spotify or something because I can put it in my rue playlist. shit goes hard

- rue looks so happy and healthy, I really hope she bounces back from this shit

- I don't like elliot and we not supposed to like him by the end of the season, I thought it was bc of the snitch thing but now he's in the finale and I'm nervous. I think rue is gonna try and be friends w him again. why tf would he ask that knowing that they not good for e/o??? he's such an asshole

- hmm she gave herself a smile, idk if that means she's trying to be strong and not be his friend but idk

- ok show me fez, I'm worried about my baby

- awww bobbs and lexi, i love this friendship

- oh ok next act, I'm still mad cassie ruined it tho, I was enjoying it

- AWE RUE STARTING THE CHEERING FOR LEXI OMG THEY MY MOTHERFUCKING BESTIESSSS

- SHOW TIME BITCHES, SHOW TIMEEE

- GIDDY UP

- AWE SHE MENTIONED FEZ

- FUCK THIS IS GIVING FOLSOM PRISON BLUES AND I JUST FINISHED THAT SHIT LAST NIGHT I'M NOT READY

- ASH GONNA GET HIS ASS GOT. HE GONNA GO DOWN SWINGING FR

- ew nate

- I'm guessing nate is gonna kill cal?? or himself

- ofc we see cal again. I was hoping we wouldn't but eh too hopeful

- so is it true that Nate's been SAed by cal? i think that's what they're trying to show

- ofc nate has a copy of the tape

- OH SHIT HE CALLED THE COPS ON HIS DADDY

- crazy how at the end of s1 he had cops to raid fez after rue threatened to call the cops on cal and now he's the one doing it at the end of s2

- at least cal getting jail. fuck that nigga

- YO ASH LISTEN TO FEZ

- HOLY SHIT FEZ GOT SHOT OMG

- SOMEBODY TAKE MY BABY TO THE HOSPITAL I'M FR

- he finally called ash a kid, god this shit sad asf

- MY STRESS IS ON A 10O RN, BULLETS FUCKING EVERYWHERE

- PLS BE IN THERE ASH PLEASE

- he better be fucking playing dead bro

- oh shit he shot that mf

- he going down

- oh fuck. fuck they just killed him. makes sense they didn't show him because he's a kid

- everyone was like omg cassie redemption because she was hugging lex up at the hospital and it's just a flashback

- but bro where's maddy beating ass?? show that real quick

- god, ash really dead. this fr don't feel real

- well ik he ain't real but like it don't feel real, you know?

- FUCK LEXI NEVER GETTING THE LETTER. I BET SO MUCH THAT HE CONFESSED HIS FEELINGS

- PLEASE gimme a scene where lex comes to check on him at his house. maybe she finds a way to get the note idk but that would be good

- RUE LOOKS FUCKING GREAT. THE OUTFIT, HAIR, FACE. AHHH

- AH REXI PHONE CALL, I MISS THEM

- AWE REXI FRIENDSHIP

- ok but fr where's my dawg fezco???

- so since he's been arrested, we fr getting FPB vibes???

- okay ik fez would be too stubborn/loyal to tell the truth even tho ash is dead and won't do any time but it would be great if he did because then he'll face less time in prison

- lex >>>> lexi

- fucking this rexi convo gonna make me cry fr

- ok but maddy beating cassie's ass?? i need to see it

- okay so jules got no lines this ep. I thought her and rue would fix stuff but I'm guessing that's towards the end of s3

- okay idk how that scene was apart of the play since the irl version happened after the funeral scene but I'll take it. ig lex has a condo convoy written and that's the parallel

- GREAT FUCKING PLAY. LOVED IT

- bathroom scene pt 2!!

- okay lowkey anticlimactic

- just the beginning of maddy kicking her ass or of nate putting cassie through hell??

- oh shit rules convo?? ummm okay

- ok that was weird but i guess that's hope

- okay we got 3 minutes left

- ok finally some rue narration

- hmm seems like rules isn't endgame after all. she said jules was her first love but she wasn't sure since she was too high for most of it

- ooouu clean rue for the rest of the school year?? that's a few months. wdym by it's not a decision she made tho?? who is she doing this for this time??

- ok fuck that finale was good

[icharchivist]

hey icha! back again w/ a3 Thoughts, lol. this will be short as its just abt into the night! i was so confused at first bc i was like is this an ALL MEMBERS event but then after they split into teams i felt much more normal abt it lol... anyways the clothing store f&f. i wondered if thats supposed to be like, h&m but i was thinking like. what are the possibilities of what each f stands for... fashion fur flawless fabulous frills forever theres a whole lot of things. but i think the funniest option for me is that f&f stands for 4 and 5 and nobody knows why. im glad we got to follow the group we did but i would love to have just. seen a birds eye view of the masumi group because sakuya taichi and kazunari in one and sakuya running after him... it is funny to me. also im obsessed with yuki being part of running the punishment. sakyo you are letting this fourteen year old run WILD. anyways loved the part before they got in costume where yuki was like "ya they were gone a while ago. i didn’t say anything tho." *points affectionately at him* middle schooler. i was also pleasantly surprised the main cg was banri and yuki? like, i was totally expecting itaru to feature and perhaps get in a conflict with yuki but this was actually a really subdued event! that felt really fresh to me, that it didnt like escalate into heavy drama or anything. also the cg was soooo cute. like banri and yuki smiling!! having fun!!! i also really liked that it was banri to give yuki advice since hes not even that much older than yuki so it makes it like, More Meaningful. the way in highschool the people i was friends with who were one or two years older than me did sooooo much to help me figure out applications to university! uhhh other notes i had... the part where izumi decides the theme was 'pet shop' while staring at tsuzuru and yuki was hilarious. its like. the event itself pauses for a long enough time that i was staring at yuki and tsuzuru and it really felt like a horror movie zoom even before izumi announced the theme. again i also liked that none of the acting challenges posed a problem! like there wasnt any huge conflict going on just a bunch of little things and that was a rly cool vibe. the aaron guy who challenged them,, hes funny. he gives me "was a chuuni" vibes but then again theatre kids are just Like That so maybe he's just accurate rep yknow. also itaru's alex in wonderland outfit complements his eyes sooooo well for real. homare lending azuma marshmellows to coax hisoka for the duration of the event is so funny. them specifially worrying about a marshmellow scarcity also makes me laugh. like... im just sitting there like. do u think homare sat down and calculated like "hm... this is probably how many marshmallows they need" i want to know how this went. also while the no signal is realistic i cant beleive banri and itaru had to sit down while playing. like sorry if im built different but i always play gacha games while walking. also i do want to say at the end while they were talking abt while tenma was last i was like "bet he got scared of the forest/a ghost and ran" and then they were like shitty sense of direction but later misumi said he was scared of the forest and i felt so vindicated. anyways i liked that itaru takes them to f&f at the end! thats the power of a working adult huh... it did make me think tho like. does yuki approve of banris fashion choices. bc they are Choices.

HEYAA!! welcome back :D a pleasure to see you back again!!

Oh man i LOVE Into the Night, i'm glad you got to reach it! usually events do tend to always limit the charas to focus on, imagine having to follow all of them. I mean i kinda wish we knew what happened with everyone but…

(obvs under the cut bc the whole ask got long, and also i gushed a bit about Into the Night bc i love this event)

and omg your brain fr f&f. I'm sure Fashion is one of them for sure. THOUGH I DO LOVE THE 4 AND 5 JUST TO FUCK WITH PEOPLE LMAO.

Masumi's group does seem to have been pretty funny. Just 3 sunshine boys trying their damnest to keep the broody one in place for more than 5minutes. I imagine them always having a big smile planing their play and then suddenly being "wait where did Masumi go OH NO". Plus, cat Sakuya and cat Kazunari together.

I also ADORE Yuki being part of the running punishment, the Yakuza really just saw a middle schooler and went "wait this guy can be my assistant in punishment" and he was right. It's esp another layer of funny considering how much Sakyo is always fighting him about the budget for their costumes, so he both knows that Yuki is restless when he prepares quality stuff, and, while he's so stingy about spending money, just went "listen i'll give you any money you want for the most high quality ridiculous costumes you can put anyone in" and Yuki just couldn't let the once-in-a-lifetime situation run away from him. Those two are a deadly duo.

dFDKJFLD Yuki is SO funny i love him so much.

And yeah omg this event really was low on drama but i did love the themes it explores and the dynamic they decided to have shine. Banri and Yuki probably have one of my favorite friendship in the story because of this specific event. (and their CG is SO CUTE i’ll never be over it i love it SO much, probably one of my fav event CG of all time)

The idea of Banri, who said himself he had a hard time understanding why people were struggling with anything, who generally doesn't really plan ahead or gets excited about anything about the future…. ended up not only doing the effort to understand Yuki (and, ever since Banri has been doing theater he's much better at understanding people's struggle anyway), but also have Yuki's drive and passion inspires HIM, the guy who never had any to start with… it makes me so emo. Yuki usually keeps his worries for himself so it was so nice to see this upperclassman whom Yuki actually respects (in a way), recognizes Yuki's strength completely unprompted and tell him that he'll always be here to cheer for him, and that he was inspired to be serious about what he loves because of him… it means SO much to me.

It brings me back also to how Banri is a fashionista (i know we judge him with western standards but from what i figured doing some researches he's apparently on top of fashion regarding Japanese trends. I have a friend, who knows a lot more about Japan's day to day life, who upon hearing that people clowned Banri for his fashion, reacted to me going "i've seen so many people in Shibuya with his exact clothes what"). For a Japanese audience at least it is supposed to be implied Banri has a good eye for fashion and Yuki is responsive to it.

Anyway i also bring it up bc remember how in the Autumn Chapter when Taichi destroyed all of Yuki's costumes, Banri gets very angry not because their show was ruined, but because "how DARE they attack YUKI'S HARDWORK". He gets upset on Yuki's behalf. And at this point they didn't exactly connect or anything, Banri was just fashionista enough to recognize Yuki was fantastic.

So after this event establish how much he respects Yuki and how he decided to protect him and encourage him i'm just… soft…. i genuinely love their dynamic so much.

Forever ago i've found a fanart on twitter (which mean i LOST IT and will NEVER RECOVER IT, Twitter lack of saving feater is my curse and burden) of Yuki, as an adult, preparing his first runaway as a fashion designer and getting nervous, until Banri comes in and puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles going "see i told you you'd get here. I'm so proud of you" and i'm crying in the club.

When i first started a3 i did have a really hard time to get into Banri's chara (which is a SHOCKER now considering he's very high on my top chara now), and by the end of Autumn i was just okay he's on thin ice but i'll be willing to listen to him. But Into the Night really was the event where he totally won me over. It really showcases his sweetness and willingness to help, especially the younger people in Mankai.

And it also speaks volumes about how now that he found a passion that really set his heart ablaze, he would do ANYTHING to protect this passion in the heart of people too. It showcases so much how Banri has grown and how much just finding a way to appreciate life and passion became so precious to him.

I have so much thoughts about this event in general it makes me teary.

I've also seen so many bad faith fandom takes back where shitting on Banri was the norm on tumblr (ie the reason i don't go in the tags) about Banri being a bully and would "probably be a bully to Yuki" and stuff like that and it would always enrage me in a "oh i BET you didn't read Into the Night." rage. Imagine being so wrong. So yeah this event means a LOT to me it's just so much.

But also as you say i think it's just so lovely to have just, healthy dynamic between "senpai and kohai" in a way, to really see how just having someone a couple years older than you guide you and help you… is really nice. Tho yeah Banri is just as guided by Yuki than Yuki is guided by Banri and i find it SO soft.

Yuki and his group of older teenagers who'd fight for his hope and dreams.

THE PET SHOP PART WAS SO FUNNY YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE HORROR MOVIE PATHING LMAO. Just Tsuzuru and Yuki slowly dying inside.

but yeah the event having such cool vibes was really soft. The "battle type" events are usually laid back that way, with a random guy NPC (though it's often Aaron) challenging to act off, bc this was the new mechanism of the gameplay itself, so it's really superfluous to the plot but still pretty funny. Aaron is definitely a bit Chuuni yes. Accurate theater nerd rep.

Itaru's costume is sOO good you're so right. Another Yuki wins in term of costume designs.

YEAH OMG THE MARSHMELLOW THING. It's so fucking funny. I can totally see Homare calculating it very carefully knowing exactly Hisoka's pace and stuff and giving just as needed and a little more. Meanwhile, Hisoka, like a cat he is, knows that without his usual owner he can pretends to be starved and never have eaten in hIS LIFE to get more. This is literally Homare getting a list of "here's what you need to feed my cat at each hours" to Azuma, while Hisoka is just "actually those doses are left to starve me by my unloving father. I am dying. I am knowing level of starvation no cats should ever go through save me". And Azuma who's just a good sports is just "aw but what's one more treats!" which makes him a very easy target to the cat starvation tactic.

This is the Homare/Hisoka/Azuma dynamic in a nutshell and this event shows it off.

Also i genuinely love in this event how Tsuzuru has to "big brother up" Hisoka, having to carry him around. this event really was "the teens are carrying the team and the adults are the most useless people you might run into". Azuma didn't even try and tbh i respect that about him so much, kings of knowing his limits.

(tbh there's something i can't mention there but there's something about Hisoka's future arc that made me return to this event and fucking yell during his bits. I will of course not say anything and it is probably vague enough. But i genuinely ended up crying rereading this event bc of that. "but Icha, you always cry when Hisoka is involved" MAYBE BUT SHUSH.)

Banri and Itaru sitting down for their games is really funny yes, tho i believe it's a mix of they've been walking all night and only have a little break so they're gonna rest as they can (esp Itaru who's not made for walking). And prob the fact they're afraid to lose their connection while walking. But else mood, playing gacha while walking ftw.

DLKFJKLDFJ THE FACT YOU NAILED DOWN WHY TENMA GOT LOST. PERFECT. I love how Misumi points it out, once again with how he's babying Tenma is just muah. Poor Tenma. It's so onbrand that it hurts.

And i LOVE that about Itaru too. I love that he felt genuinely guilty and could see how much Banri and Yuki worked for it. I think it also speaks volumes about Itaru in general becoming more and more of a team player while being a "solo player" for the longest time. Even there he realizes he dragged them down and he needs to amke it up to them.

But anyway back on your last comment, like i mentioned, Banri fits Japanese standards for the fashionista lmao, and everything else in game (from mini chat to backstage to coin talks) points to Yuki really liking Banri's style. There's one, i think Mini Chat? about how he thinks Banri always have a good eye for clothes and his advices is super valuable because of that.

So i know we all want to dunk on Banri but the friendship between Yuki and Banri is pure and sweet and Yuki genuinely thinks Banri is one of the most fashionable people in the company whom he can trust with shopping and fashion advice. We all have to live with it and if we insist on Banri's fashion sucking i'm afraid we also have to say the same of Yuki's because those two are bird of feathers.

Thank you once again for sharing your thoughts it makes me so happy <33 It's always a pleasure :3c

Hope you have a nice day <33