#making this made me cry

[will80sbyers]

[annahxredaxted]

Love is gone..

Characters: Freelancer/ Gavin- Gavin/lasko

Tw: cheating, yelling, cursing, mentions of NSFW.

@badwolf52 freelancer angst?

I was driving home from school when this sinking feeling came to my stomach. I thought I might have been nerves or something like that but I guess not.

I felt disgusting, and the thing is I don’t even know why- I haven’t eaten in a while, yeah that’s probably it, I’ll eat something. But no matter how much I tried to convince myself I just needed to eat I couldn’t be settled on that answer alone. ‘What was wrong?’

I pulled up to maxes rustic pizza and sat in the car for a second. I needed to breathe. It will all be better if I just breathe…right?

5 minutes go by and I’m still in my car, I eventually get my wallet from the glove box- you sigh a picture of Gavin in it- I start to smile, It was a picture of us on our third date, smiling and giddy, gav, as handsome as ever

‘I really love him’ I thought to myself rethinking all of the time we’ve spent together

————————————————————-

“Hi welcome to maxes rustic pizza! What can I get you this fine day?” The Guy behind the counter asked. I wanted to get Gavin something as well though,

“Excuse me one minute I just need to text my boyfriend, so sorry.” He nodded with a smile and I pulled out my phone

I got distracted again, my lockscreen was Gavin. He was so cute I mused for a second-

I snapped back to reality. I clicked the text app icon and went to my pinned contacts first one there- Gavin💜

Freelancer: hey gav. I’m at maxes is there anything specific you want?

^ delivered

Why wasn’t he answering? That’s weird. Maybe he’s sleeping right? Okaayy but it’s Gavin. He wouldn’t go to bed by himself- unless he’s really tired, yeah that’s it he’s tired.

“Excuse me? Are you ready to order?” I was back from my long train of thought. “Oh right uhm, can I get, a small Hawaiian pizza?” I said as he punched some words into his register.

“That’ll be 7.89$” i reached into my wallet scrounging around to find my card, when allas I found it!

I handed him my card, there was an awkward two seconds while he was swiping my card, and it was registering.

“If you don’t mind going over into the waiting area?”

I nodded and walked over to the area that had a big sign that said,

‘WAITING’

I decided to try my luck with lasko. Maybe he’ll want to come over for dinner

Freelancer: hey lasko, are you busy tonight?

^ delivered

Why the fuck were neither of them answering?

That feeling was back. Were they okay?

“Order for (freelancer)?” The guy behind the counter yelled,I got up and quickly grabbed the pizza, said thank you and left.

I got in my car, gently placing the box of pizza on the passenger seat. I tightly gripped the wheel. Once again my stomach was turning every which way. It didn’t matter right now I’ll just drive home and everything will be just fine.

The drive home was awful. I kept adjusting my seat, I got cut off, honked at, flipped off, my phone wouldn’t even connect to Bluetooth/Aux.

it’ll all be better once I get home.

I pulled up to the house and there laskos car was. In my parking spot. That means I have to park on the side of the road and lasko and Gavin were ignoring me or something.

I walked past the windows all the lights were off. We’re they watching a movie? I scrounged through my bag to find my house key, when I finally found it.

I walked inside to see clothes scattered on the floor. As if they had been thrown carelessly. I took one whiff of the air and the stench of burning liquor was vivid.

I walked into the kitchen to set the pizza down to see three empty beer bottles and two unopened bottles

‘What is going on?’ I thought too myself. I reluctantly placed the pizza on the counter, and walked toward the hallway.

“Gav? Lasko?” I said in a assertive tone.

I heard a very faint

“shit.”

“You guys in there?” I said knocking on the bedroom door once and then opening it

The second I opened the door my heart sank. There Gavin, shirtless, no less and lasko was shirtless both rushing frantically to put their clothes on.

That hurt, the person I dedicated three years too, the person, who’s seen my vulnerability, my tears, my pain, my sadness, and happiness, everything, and he just threw it way like it was nothing..

Gavin looked guiltily at me, as if he was trying to say sorry with his eyes, didn’t work but he tried

“Deviant-“ he started, I didn’t want to hear any of “n-no Gavin, I don’t want to hear it.” I said not making eye contact, and ran out of the roon

“Freelancer wait!” Lasko yelled from the other room as I walked back to the kitchen to find my keys

A few silent tears fell from my eyes, making it blurry and hard to see anything, I just wanted to go, I want to leave, and never talk to him- or lasko ever again... Gavin grabbed my hand.

“Deviant,” I cut him off again

“That’s not my name.” I said quietly

“What?” He dropped my hand

“I said, that’s not my Fucking name.” I said about to explode, anger, Fury, and rage, but also pain, sadness, and confusion ‘am I not enough?’ I painfully thought to myself

Lasko ran out of the room with a shirt on buttons sloppily done hair frizzy, sweating, and flushed.

“I- I can’t believe you would, do this Gavin, what did I ever do to you!” I said crying, anger spilling out, I couldn’t hold it in anymore

“(Freelancer) I’m so sorry my love. I- was,”

“I told you to call me by my name. Don’t call me ‘my love’ . Because this,” I pointed at him and lasko ,” is not love. Not for me anyway.”

“Please give me another chance. We- we were drinking, next thing you know,” I stopped him a finger sharply pointed up signaling him to not talk anymore

“I don’t want to know what happened next. I already do.”

Lasko tried to say something but I shut him up

“Fuck off lasko. You too Gavin. We’re- we’re done.” I said that last part with that confidence I never had. Or never thought I could have, anyway.

“Freelancer.”

“I loved you, I gave you all I had, I poured my heart out to you, fuck Gavin I do love you. But I can’t do this anymore.” I grabbed my car keys and left, this hellhole- on my way out, Gavin clenched his chest- the emotion overwhelming him, but I don’t care, it’s not my fault.

Part 2? I dunno

@maplecrow and @essbi24 you guys said you wanted it so I thought you should read it first

[hansoeii]

stede bunnet

[contactlessdrivethru]

just finished opla mood

[madootles]

dramatic eyes. dramatic lips. drama on the cheeks.

sketch

[lilowoof]

[wrongspacetime]

The Fall of the House of Usher 1.08 | The Raven (2023)

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[sophsun1]

+ bonus

Interview With The Vampire – 1.07: The Thing Lay Still

[thechaoticrow]

so we all know about “who the hell is jordie?” “someone i trusted. someone i couldn’t afford to lose”, right, but what we forget is the significance of kaz calling jesper ‘jordie’. it’s not just that jesper is a brother to him- jordie was kaz’s protector. jordie was the 13 year old that protected kaz and who kaz protected, the goofy one who made him smile and bought him hot chocolate at night. he felt safe around him. he trusted jordie with his life. in calling jesper ‘jordie’, kaz shows that subconsciously, he trusts jesper to protect him, that he could turn to him should he need it. and every time he yells at jesper, the gambler who couldn’t stay out of the red, for losing another bet, getting in debt again, all he can see is that same thirteen-year-old boy, swindled out of everything he owned and left for dead on the street. with every word he yells at jesper, he silently urges him to stay alive. with every bet jesper makes, all kaz can think is “i can’t lose a brother. not again.”

[hum--hallelujah]

man I mean just. the SMFS album lettering is made of clay. the cover art is an actual physical painting. there's a lot less fx on the album as a whole than Mania (which is NOT a knock on my bbg Mania btw, just pointing out the different approach) or even SRAR and ABAP. the songs sound basically the same live as they do on the record because the production is so minimal. they have a huge vinyl dog head onstage with them, that they touch and interact with and talk to (and, in Pete's case, get eaten by). the attic scene is made by lowering a piece of rigging to literally make the stage smaller. there's actually a LOT of sets especially comparatively to their previous tours, the rigging around the stage is done up almost as a physical frame for it. they only have one screen onstage and it's small, its purpose is to be the 8-ball and to add a little bit of texture to the wider design. the backdrops, even the new desert scene for 2ourdust, are physical backdrops — one of which was made by one of Pete's kids — not LED or projections. the album title is made of clay. it's about existing in the world, making things so you feel alive, making the world a little more fuckin weird! do you get it yet?

[butchdiaz]

ultimate ceilings buddie edit. this is my magnum opus (also on youtube!)

[himawaari]

how can i express the affection i have for him? words aren't enough

cherry magic 11

[kissme-withyour-cherrylipstick]

I’m really enjoying doing these quick paintings. Featuring his mother's ring. 3.5 hours

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

[each-uisge-enthusiast]

the modern villainisation of demeter will never cease to enrage me bc it wasn’t ENOUGH to just take a story of a girl being torn from her home from everyone who loved her and dragged away to be forced into marriage and twist and corrupt it until it was a romance story about female empowerment that wasn’t ENOUGH they HAD to take the original hero of the story the mother who went to every length to find her daughter again to bring her home and demonise her character until she was this horrific overbearing unloving mother. overprotective controlling without love. they turn the story of her grief at her YOUNG daughter being torn from her without her knowledge into the story of a misunderstood bad boy and a horrible cruel mother who won’t give him a chance and i really find it sickening. it’s ironic, that the ever misogynist age of hellenistic greece, has a better grasp of how disgusting and horrifying this situation was that a modern, self proclaimed ‘feminist’ era.