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#man chill the fuck out it’s not the end of the world
101maverick · 2 days
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Hearts Intertwined
Chapter 1
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Jason Todd x Reader
Warnings: violence, attempted sexual assault, the appropriate panic response to one such attempt, word “r*pe” used during inner monologue
Summary: You go out to bring food to Crime Alley kids on Easter Sunday and have an unlucky encounter. The night takes a turn thanks to a lucky appearance.
Info on Reader: Reader is alone in Gotham, she drives a motorbike and is much shorter than Jason. More info as the story goes on!
Word count: 1981 words
‼️⚠️REMEMBER TO REBLOG!!!⚠️‼️
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You should’ve know, really.
Usually it wasn’t like this, usually you were careful.
Usually, you didn’t go out in Crime Alley alone.
Usually, you weren’t stupid.
The heart and the mind don’t mix well though, and clash between the two usually ends with the triumph of irrationality.
And this was your case, as your heart had led you outside into the most dangerous parts of Gotham on Easter Sunday, delivering warm containers of food to the children you had become accustomed to visiting in these areas.
You usually were not alone though, always accompanied by some of your friends from work, kind souls like you who helped keep you safe as you brought some light in the days of the kids of Crime Alley.
This time however it was different, with all of your friends and acquaintances choosing to spend the day either celebrating the Holiday or sleeping away the April chill and the week’s hardships.
You never had anyone to celebrate Holidays with though, no family close to you for thousands of miles, and this was how you always spent special days, helping those who needed it.
This is why, in a mix of routine and empathy, you spent the last of your usable March’s earnings on ingredients and spent Saturday and Sunday morning preparing as much food as possible, before loading it all into your motorbike’s luggage rack and heading out, checking on the food to make sure it was warm still in the thermic containers and driving off into the East End, where you spent the remainder of your day till sundown.
And that was how you ended up in your current situation, cornered by a drunken man in some grimy cul-de-sac smack dab in the middle of Crime Alley.
“How you doin’, sweetheart?” Slurred the man, slightly stumbling toward you.
He was big. He dwarfed you in size, his rough and calloused hands big enough to cover your face and then some. His face was pulled into a smirk, the stench of alcohol coming from him evident from even feet away.
You tried reacting, really you did, but before you could do so much as speak his hands were on you, rancid breath hot over your face.
You tried to scream several times before any sound decided to come out, and then you were quickly silenced by one of the man’s hands on your mouth, the other roaming and trying to undo your coat.
Hot tears ran down your face as you tried to fight him off while simultaneously battling with your body’s instinctual reaction to freeze, your limbs flailing while you landed feeble hits on his arms.
Desperation and tears clouded your vision, muffled screams coming through the barrier that was the man’s grimy hand, the blood rushing through your ears covering the rustling of your coat, the only barrier between yourself and the man’s depravity.
That same sound seemed to close you off from the rest of the world, the night obvious to your agony.
That same sound was the reason you almost missed it, tho it must have echoed painfully loudly in the dangerous and tense silence of Crime Alley.
“Hey!”
It cut through the haze, a deep sound, scratchy as if it hurt, roughened by something fiery, something dark.
Through the tears you saw the man turning to face the mouth of the alleyway, a deep scowl carving into his face. “The fuck ya wan’, man?”
“For you to get out of here, and fast.” Replied the voice, scathing and menacing.
No, not a voice, a man. You couldn’t see well in the dark, but you could see enough to be preoccupied.
He was even bigger than the drunken man who had originally cornered you, probably taller than six feet and with muscles evident even through his coat.
You didn’t dare move, freezing on the spot and trying not to make a sound in hopes the drunk might leave you alone in favour of a confrontation with this new person on the scene.
The former kept looking to the mouth of the alley, seeming to consider something. Then, with a sliver of badly-concealed fear, he muttered “Whatever, this is not worth my time anyways” and took his hands off of your mouth and body before making his way out of the alley as quick as possible.
You were left standing there, hot tears still steadily making their way down your face but not making a sound, trembling like a leaf but unable to move a muscle.
Your eyes were trained on the man in the coat now, dark silhouette a stark contrast to the moonlight-washed sidewalk on the main street of Crime Alley.
He shoved the drunk when he passed by him, prompting him sprint, the only evidence of his presence the quickly fading sound of feet on asphalt and the ghost sensation of his filthy hands on your form.
The crunching of broken glass let you know the man was walking towards you now.
“Hey.”
It cut through the silence, a deep sound, soft and careful despite the roughness of the timbre. “Are you hurt?”
You could just shake your head, words refusing to come out.
Your breathing was fast-paced, shallow gulps of air making their way through your slightly parted lips, not enough air coming through. Your heartbeat was jackrabbit-fast, your head spun slightly.
“Can you walk?” The stranger gently prodded.
Your legs felt like jelly. You were trembling all over. You were pretty sure if you tried to take even the littlest of steps you would’ve fallen, legs giving out.
You hesitantly shook your head no.
The stranger stayed silent, seemingly considering something. Then he took a deep breath, and slowly put his hands up to show you his empty palms. “I’m gonna come towards you, ok? I swear I won’t do anything, I just want to make sure you’re okay and help you walk if you’ll let me, alright? It’s not safe here at night, I don’t want to leave you alone like this.”
Still that soft, careful voice, such a stark contrast to when you first heard it.
You considered his words, and jerked your head in a quick nodding motion.
That prompted him to move, slowly making his way toward you. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were still up at shoulder height, hands splayed showing his rough but empty hands. He was trying to make himself look as small and non-threatening as possible. Despite it’s ineffectiveness due to his sheer size, the effort comforted you and you could feel your muscles slightly relax, though the trembling didn’t let out.
Once he was a few feet away from you, he stopped. From this distance you could make out his features a lot better. His eyes were light, mainly blue with the bares hints of something else, maybe green? You weren’t sure, the moonlight not helping you distinguish details. His hair curled softly, a shock of white on his forehead amidst the inky blackness of the locks. His features were pleasing, a straight nose and a defined jaw coupled with slightly high cheekbones giving him a distinct look.
He looked you in the eyes, a gentle look on his face as he steadily held your gaze.
“Can I help you walk?” He asked. “If you say yes, I’d just put my arm around your back and help steady you, nothing more.”
You were pretty sure you would’ve toppled over on your own. You tried speaking, but words still refused to come out of your mouth.
At your body’s uncooperativeness, panic started clawing up your chest and through your throat. You could feel your throat closing up, your lungs refusing to draw breath as your vision clouded with tears once again, eyes trained to a spot on the ground.
The reality of the situation was finally setting in, you had almost been raped.
You had almost been raped, and you hadn’t been able to do anything about it.
You hadn’t been able to so anything about it.
Had it not been for a charitable stranger walking down the street deciding to take a few minutes from his day to help you, your world would’ve been turned upside down, your body would’ve been desecrated and your mind shattered into bits.
The thousand scenarios played through your head, your mind’s eye sifting through all the possible ways it could’ve ended.
You could see nothing more than those possibilities, hear nothing more than the rushing of your blood past your ears, feel nothing more than the ghost touch of hands in places they should never have been and your body’s trembling.
‘Oh God i was almost raped oh God iwasamostrapedohGod-‘
At your reaction the stranger stayed rooted to the spot, lowering even more until he was crouching on the ground, eyes searching yours.
“Hey, are you okay? Please, follow my breaths.” He said, slowly reaching out to gently touch your hand, which hung limply at your side.
It was a jolt of electricity. The touch snapped you from your panic. The scenarios dissipated from your vision. The sound of blood rushing became fainter. The ghost hands on your body relented. You could see again, the eyes of the stranger coming back into view, his hand solid but gentle on yours, the sound of his steady breathing the only thing you could hear in the silence of the night.
You started following his breathing, your own breaths calming and finally becoming effective in getting air into your lungs.
Once your trembling was as settled as it was gonna get and you were taking in steady puffs of air, the stranger started talking again.
“I’m sorry if what i said upset you. Do you not want help with walking? It’s fine if you don’t, we can wait here until you’re fine enough to go on your way. I won’t let anyone bother you.” His voice was oh so gentle, low and comforting in the silence of the night.
You tried speaking, and this time you succeeded.
“Thank you.” Were the first words to tumble out. “I’d a-appreciate the help.” A feeble thing your voice was, oscillating between a whisper and something barely above that, pitched high from the residual panic.
His expression was open in a way that was clumsy on his face, like his features weren’t used to doing that. His eyes shone in the moonlight, a glint in them that reminded you of morning dew.
His eyes widened slightly, surprise evident in his parted lips.
“You don’t need to thank me. I… I just did what was right. You needed help, so I gave it.”
There was something in his voice, a sureness evident even with the faltering of it.
He got up from his crouch, dusting off his trousers. He came up to your right side and gently lifted up his left hand, setting it just under your left arm. You were basically tucked into his left side, his arm supporting your weight.
He was warm. You realised then that you were cold. He was solid, his muscles evident even through the thick layers of fabric he was clad in.
“My name is Jason, by the way, Jason Todd. You know, in case it helps you feel a little less uncomfortable with being so close to a stranger.”
You looked up at him. Considered.
He had just given you his name. This stranger, Jason, had disturbed the quiet of his own Easter Sunday evening to help you because you needed it and through all of that he was thinking of possible ways he was making you uncomfortable and solving them unprompted.
You smiled softly up at him, something akin to wonder in your eyes.
You gave him your name.
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codgod · 1 month
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it’s hard being a chill and patient person in a fandom full of people who jump to the worst conclusions and think everything is going to implode on itself at the slightest sign of things going wrong
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ickypuppi3 · 2 years
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steve being the one with internalised homophobia is something i need to talk about more
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vermillioncrown · 5 months
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at the risk of sounding butthurt for talking about not being butthurt: going through quals really prepared me for trawling through fandom meta and research while keeping my zen
#redglyphs#opinionated verm#i have not seen another fandom as salty and divisive as the dc one#all the interesting meta and summaries come with this implicit ''you illiterate idiot'' vibe (exhausting)#or the ''we do what we want and fuck canon'' mindset is taken to the extreme end (simplistic and lacking nuance)#personally the visual style of a lot of western comics grates at me so it's hard to get into#but i do like the wack and fucked up dynamics of canon + trying to imagine a world/chronology around that#i like calibrating what i write around canon -> thus those meta&summary posters are very valuable and interesting to keep up with#i just gotta do 🙈 whenever they start to lambaste ''''fans'''' for not reading the comics/despised fanon reinterpretations of characters#''mmhmm yep. okay okay. i'm stupid. but let's get to why my blorbo is so fucked up bc of [whatever issue/run]''#like whatever they say they cannot roast me as hard as this one prof from my quals panel did#that prof is basically the successor of the academic lineage that established his discipline#and man utterly destroyed me during the exam#''you have no idea what you're talking about; you didn't even read taylor's hypothesis from 1941'' and i just let my soul evaporate lmao#anyways. i feel like fandom (all fandom and esp ones w sprawling canons) would benefit from two things:#1) willingness to learn (you gotta try to absorb some of the canon to transform it; ''know the rules to break them'')#2) willingness to accept limits (ppl are allowed to pick and choose; ''you gotta tolerate other ppl on the playground'')#and like. fucking chill out. we're all literally writing about some fictional dudes doing fictional things#rarely is a thing you dislike actually harmful rather than just distasteful (to you personally or broadly w/e)
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hauntingblue · 30 days
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:)
#LETSGOOO MOMOOOOOOOOOOOOO#luffy grabbing lightning bolts... nami youve got competition....#kaido saying roger and oden didnt have devil fruits and how you cant conquer the world with one... well they are also dead. rip bozos#NOOOO HIYORIIIIIII SOMEONE KILL THIS MAN!!!!#JESUS CHRIST THAT PUNCH!!! onigashima is on the way. move it. he is too used to zoro....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1074#the new opening is cute... wish the different scenes could be longer bc i have been sotpping to see them well akdhaks#can someone PLEASE help hiyori..... there are too many people just chilling DENJIRO!!!!!! FUCK YES!!!! but now pleaseeee finish him off...#omg the ballon ajdksjjs wish fullfilled!!!! YEAAHHH MOMOOOOOO#the samurais praying to luffy.... do i even need to make a post about luffy as a god now.... it's just like plain obvious and not bc of nik#episode 1075#kaido lore??? did he betray rocks pirates??? the fucking witch again??? how tf did she orchestrate all this.#she started how the value of someone is determined by war. which considering this is a shonen and strength is everything... i appreciate it#which might be why kaido is such a good antagonist to luffy. he wants people to live as slaves to make weapons and create wars#the strong ones get to be soldiers and act out that war. and kaido enjoys fighting also.... luffy on the other hand sees people for what#they are and the freedom they should have and he will beat kaido by not engaging in his style of fighting to be the strongest but by being#the silliest. literally. its just too good.#<- official analysis for now i guess#oh jesus..... LETSGOOO MOMOOOOOO omg luffy can see the wishes..... FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH#luffy wishing for a world where his friends get to eat whatever they want.... oof..... tama.....#i have realised before the timeskip i cried bc situations were sad but ever since fishman island i have teared up bc of happiness....#like at the end of fishman island and now... wait except wci but that was a drama so one exception#episode 1076
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selkiecoded · 2 years
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hm. okay someone said something on twitter that got me thinking. okay i am very firmly a yoohan truther supporter lover all that stuff. and i think there are many situations in which they can be and will be together in some shape or form, without kdj. coming to mind instantly are the three year gap, 1865th round, and 1863rd round. prime yoohan material. but at the same time i think these situations are sort of haunted by kdjs absence, and/or really set up to fail. yoohan are people who work well together in achieving a shared goal, for better or for worse. like with 1863 - which would have the least amount of kdj influence - they are pretty much on a path of mutual destruction, hastened by one another. all of these situations, in which theyre working together for some reason or another, it never feels like they can bridge in to anything really vulnerable, you know? i love yoohan on its own, and i do think they can get shit done on their own, but at the same time, kdj coheres them in a way i dont think they can really achieve without him being there. do these words strung together like this make any sort of sense.
#throwing spaghetti on the wall. the haunting specter of kdj can he LEAVE?#thinking abt 1863 yh is like. ohhh they are the worst. i have stuff half written and itd end w hsy clutching yjhs shirt like.#let me just more or less copy paste it in the tags hold on#'I asked the Outer God‚' she snarls‚ clutching hi shirt. 'I asked him‚ 'Does YJH want to die?' He said yes‚ yes you do. But everyone with#half a fucking brain knows not to trust an outer god not to rip happiness out of your hands‚ so I'm asking you now‚ you bastard: do you#want to die?'#She's breathing heavy by the time she finishes‚ not from exertion‚ but from pure‚ desperate anger. She stops for a minute and just pants‚#staring down at the ground‚ her fingers still curled around the collar of his coat. But‚ unexpectedly‚ a hand wraps around her own‚ gently.#When she looks up‚ YJH is staring both at her‚ and through her. 'You can show me the end of this world.' It's not a question‚ but she#answers it anyways. 'Of course I can‚ you asshole. Are you doubting me?' The darkness is his eyes‚ just on the edge of hollow‚ is#absolutely beautiful. His jaw works‚ and he goes‚ 'I want to die.' HSY stops and breathes in and out‚ very slowly. She licks her lips‚ her#throat dry‚ and brings her free hand higher to the side of YJH's face. 'Well‚ okay‚' she says after a long moment. 'Then you and I have a#lot of work to do.'#end scene. and in my head thats where it ends completely. itd sorta be them in the very beginning like sort of figuring each other out.#like i have a couple of half-scenes written in like the theater dungeon or discussing mia or hsy proving herself or whatever. and like you#can see the yoohan in waves hand all that but its like. the tension or whatever? of trusting the other to help achieve your shared goal#but like the shared goal is . what if we were planning our mutual permanent death. and we were both girls.#i think hsy would get sealed too? thats what i got i stopped at that part in my reread bc of school. i hope you die. i hope we both die.#geez. chill out man. whyd i type all that. well if youre reading this i hope you liked the wip ill finish it eventually ehhh.#also working on jihye&kdj fic ive mentioned a few fimes. and uhh general 49 stuff on and off cuz he cursed my brain#sorry sorry wow#orv
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floral-hex · 6 months
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maybe we don’t tell my therapist tomorrow that I stayed up late getting high and then browsing through old friends on facebook until my self esteem collapsed
#cmon everyone makes mistakes at 2 in the morning#I don’t make good mental health decisions after midnight#dumb dumb dumb#whatever. time isn’t real. it’s done. I didn’t marry some college sweetheart have kids & settle down. too late for that. whatever. ya butt#trying to keep a mellow head#it’s just.. blegh. all these people I used to know. they all lived their own little lives. I was just a footnote. whoosh. gone. blegh#why did I even start snooping?#I don’t even like fb! it’s terrible! I never use it#but I do miss waaaay back when it was only for students. it had like games and you could blog on it#and of course I had friends and I was young and everything just felt so alive#oof I swear I’m not trying to fall into sad old man mode#I guess I’m just always going to wish I’d.. ya know.. had a basic normal life#partner. a kid or two. married and happy and in a home with a career and bowling with friends on the weekend#I know it’s still a possibility. but I always feel like the end is near#like I’m in the end days and I can feel it. the lights are going dark. the world is almost over#I’m just crawling around on its cooling corpse#but this is…. way too pessimistic#life goes on. my outlook is bleak and that affects my worldview. if I were happy and in love and whatever of course I’d be more positive#sometimes you just have to tell yourself to stop being so fucking negative and chill out#life could be good. maybe soon. maybe sooner than you think.#and if the world does end I’ll just highjack a dunebuggy and live out my mad max fantasies. whatever dude. fuck it#so yeah anyway I got really high earlier and then uhhhhhhjackedoff a lot and then crashed and got nostalgia fucked#it’s not that serious#you can ignore this#text
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anisespice · 1 year
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“ the fuck-it list ” || hq!
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two || three
synopsis: there’s a list going around consisting of hot guys on campus that are deemed “fuckable” with theories as to what they’d be like in bed. it’s all fun and games until somehow your boyfriend ends up on this list. 
pairing: various x gn!reader [ kags, akaashi, atsumu, kenma ]
warnings: cursing, suggestive language, mild objectification, mentions of cheating, cringe descriptions that aren’t 100% accurate lol 
notes: based this off how my friend and i speculate about how the men in hq would be like in bed sooo it’s really just a little jokey joke, so have fun with her :] thinking of making more parts of this with other characters, lemme know what you guys think, and hope you enjoy!! 
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To be completely honest, KAGEYAMA wouldn’t know much about the list aside from maybe surface level stuff. He knew it was full of nonsensical speculations, nothing but weird projections put onto strangers by other strangers who found them attractive. It creeped him out a little, so that’s as far as he wished to know. 
Plus, he had no reason to care about some dumb list—He had you. 
“Have you seen this bullshit?!”  Well, speak of the devil. 
All the training in the world couldn’t have prepared his reflexes for the amount of whiplash you put him through in the span of ten seconds. There he was, minding his business in his dorm room, chilling with a volleyball, then BAM; he’s getting bum-rushed by his 5-foot-something significant other with smoke coming through their ears.
Good thing you had a key because the setter was certain you would’ve smashed right through his door by sheer force. 
“Huh??” Frankly, you startled the poor man. The ball that was in the middle of being set toward the ceiling came barreling down on his face, causing him more disorientation. “See—ouch. See what?” 
You stood there next to his bed, one hand on your hip while the other practically shoved your phone in his face. He squinted at the harsh light, but eventually his eyes adjusted enough to read the post. His lips formed a confused pout. “That stupid, horny hit-list? What about it?” 
“What about it? Some bitch put you on there! Just listen to this garbage, ‘Tobio Kageyama. 6’2ft stoic, and mean Dom who’s pretty damn good with his hands. It’s obvious how much of a perfectionist he is, so be ready for some killer overstimulation. Probably won’t make any noise, and doesn’t know much about aftercare. Overall score: 6/10’. Are they deadass right now?” 
Ah. Now he gets it. 
He figured it was only a matter of time, homie was very much aware of his status around campus, not to mention being a looker to top it off. However, he figured being in a relationship would lessen his chances of him ending up on it, especially since you weren’t a secret or anything. Guess that list really had no morality after all. Who’d have thought? 
“I mean, the audacity to put your name on it knowing damn well if anyone even tried it, I’d gorilla glue all their holes shut.” He snorted, face scrunching slightly at your unusual threat. But, something told him deep down you were being serious. 
You continued ranting while pacing back and forth. “But not only that, they completely warped your entire sexual identity just because, what, you know how to mind your business and happen to have a RBF?” 
“RBF?” He tilted his head, making you halt mid-rant to admire the adorable sight. How dare he? You were in the middle of seething, dammit. 
“Resting Bitch Face.” 
He frowned. “I don’t have that.” 
“Tobio, you’re doing it right now.”
He huffed, looking away from you in defiance. His face was fine, he thought, a perfectly normal face indeed. A handsome face, he’d even say. Immediately picking up on his sourness, you chuckled softly before reaching over to cup his face and make him look at you. Kageyama instinctively wrapped his arms around your waist, his frown still apparent, but a little less heavy once it met your soft gaze. “Don’t be pouty.”
“I’m not…” he mumbled, cheeks squished under your palms. A small blush bloomed across the apples at your teasing giggle. “You’re the one that’s upset, not me. Why do you care if they misrepresented how I am in bed? Shouldn’t you be happy it’s inaccurate?” 
Now it was your turn to huff, your bottom lip sticking out. Kageyama’s eyes honed in on its pillowy surface instantly, licking his own as he restrained himself; there’d be plenty of time for that later. 
“I mean, yeah but…I don’t know. It just…feels icky knowing there are random people around campus theorizing about your dick size in the comments, or if you cry after an orgasm. The least they could’ve done was be a little accurate if they’re gonna cause us all this trouble.” 
“Us? Pretty sure I’m the victim here. Who sucks at aftercare, apparently.” He scoffed, of which earned another giggle from you. “Besides, the only person I care about knowing any of that stuff is right here. They can take their 6/10 and fuck right off. I know my baby would rate me higher than that, right?” 
You pursed your lips, avoiding eye contact as you playfully ignored his obvious bait for praise. Kageyama doesn’t take too kindly to that. He softly glared at you, arms tightening their hold around your waist and pulling you even closer to his toned chest. 
“Oh, it’s like that, huh? That’s fine.”
Before you could register what happened, your boyfriend swept you up without struggle and gently tossed you onto his bed. “However, I will admit they were right about one thing.” 
With a slight bounce, you couldn’t fight the delighted squeal as you watched him prowl towards you. 
“Oh, really? And what’s that?”
He hummed softly, large hands traveling up your legs from the ankles all the way to your inner thighs before spreading them open to rest in between them. Finding home there for a brief moment, Kageyama practically smothered you under his gaze, attention once again zeroing in on your lips. He could feel his restraint dissipating, biting his own lip before slowly leaning down to place warm kisses against your skin. He left no spot unloved until he eventually stopped at your ear, his warm breath sending chills down your spine. 
“I’m pretty damn good with my hands.” 
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Like Kageyama, AKAASHI didn’t care to know much about the list. He knows a good chunk of guys that ended up on it personally, and based on the conversations he’s heard them have it sounded like nothing but trouble. 
And he was right to assume such. 
One afternoon a few of his friends came barreling toward him during his break in between classes, each sporting various expressions that ranged from extreme determination (Bokuto) to absolute amusement (Kuroo), while the third looked as if they were brought there against their will (Kenma). Slowly, Akaashi lowered his sandwich with a sigh; so much for a peaceful lunch. 
“AKAASHI.” Bokuto exclaimed, hands slamming down on the table to keep himself from nearly toppling the man. Akaashi flinched slightly at the volume, but before he could reprimand him, Bokuto grabbed him by his shoulders and looked him square in the eyes with grand intensity. “How could you be so selfish? I thought I raised you better than this, young man!”
The former setter gaped; that’s not at all what he was expecting to hear. It didn’t help when Kuroo started busting a lung, both hands on his knees as his hyena-esque laugh bounced off the walls of the canteen. Kenma side-eyed the business major before going back to playing some game on his phone, offering the ravenette a soft greeting, then helping himself to a chair. 
Akaashi acknowledged the pudding-head with a small nod, sharp eyes redirecting back to his senior as he removed the rough hands from his shoulders. “What are you talking about?” 
“I’m talking about you cheating on [_____]!” 
Akaashi blinked. Then, like a switch, his eyes nearly popped out his head as he registered the spiker’s words.  
“WHAT.” 
Kuroo, after finally catching his breath, gave a hearty exhale as he placed a hand on Bo’s shoulder. “Way to rip off the bandaid, buddy. Thought we agreed to work our way up to that part.” 
“Screw that! I demand answers! Can’t believe I’ve been friends with a no good, cheating scumbag, hmph.” Akaashi blanched at the harsh accusation, falling deeper and deeper into a state of pure shock. 
“Wait, hold on—”
“Whoa there, let’s not jump to conclusions. The man hasn’t even gotten the chance to speak for himself. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this whole thing.” Kuroo reasoned, but was obviously eating it up. Kenma lightly scoffed.
“You’re so full of shit.” He voiced, not even bothering to lift his gaze away from the game. Kuroo gasped dramatically at the dig, hand over his heart and everything. The former paid him no mind. 
Akaashi abruptly stood. “Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on? I’m not cheating on [______], who’s spreading such a thing?” 
Bokuto squinted. “Oya? Then how do you explain this?” 
Like incriminating evidence being shown to a jury, the silver-haired tank pulled up the updated version of the list on his phone that was posted over an hour ago. Akaashi was still perplexed until he saw it. His name. Oh, god no. 
Akaashi snatched the device to get a closer look just to make sure it wasn’t some sort of prank. To his dismay, the post was legit. Oh, god no. 
“You’ve gotta be kidding me…” 
“Uh huh, busted your ass!” Bokuto snatched the phone back only for Kuroo to then take it from him. “Hey!”
Clearing his throat, the sly bastard began reading the caption. “‘Keiji Akaashi. 6’0ft tall, pretty boy with intelligent steel blue eyes. His mysterious nature and bored expression would automatically put him under the Dom category, but I can see right through him.’ Wow, they make you sound like some sort of experiment.” 
“Don’t read that outloud!” Akaashi lunged forward, only to be stopped by a large hand in his face. “Omf-! Fohkuto-son!” 
“What? Ashamed of yourself? You should be, traitor!” 
Kuroo continued. “‘What many would believe to be the strong silent type, I believe there’s a sensitive side to him. That’s why I declare Keiji Akaashi to be a Switch with Sub-leaning tendencies, who’s not afraid to be vocal and would 100% let you peg him. 11/10. Would fuck again.’ Holy shit, this is gold.” 
“Jesus Christ,” Akaashi felt like his entire face was on fire. This was like his worst nightmare come to life, and apparently now everyone on campus could participate in his misery. “This cannot be happening to me…” 
“Oh, me, me, me. Is that really all you can say for yourself? What about [_____], huh? How do you think they’d feel after finding out their boyfriend is an unfaithful—”
“I DIDN’T CHEAT ON MY S/O, BOKUTO-SAN. That isn’t even the purpose of the list, you should know, you’re on it too!” 
Bokuto gaped. “I am??” 
Akaashi groaned, sinking back into his seat. His hands dragged across his face in distress, feeling as if he aged ten years from this mishap alone. But, Bokuto had a point—How were you feeling about all this? Had you seen it?
Luckily, he didn’t need to wonder for long. 
“Keiji!” 
He flinched, as did the two stooges hovering near him. Kenma was the only one to greet you normally while everyone else resembled deer in headlights; this immediately alarmed you. What you expected to be a surprise lunch with your boyfriend since your class let out early, now felt as if you just walked in on an intervention. After taking in the weird atmosphere, you eyed Akaashi with mild confusion. “Uh…is everything okay?”
“It’s all good, [_____]! Turns out my best friend isn’t a scumbag after all. Akaashi is definitely not cheating on you, so no harm done!” 
You did a double-take in bewilderment; didn’t expect that. “O..kay?”
Bokuto looked so proud of his declaration, chest puffed out whilst Kuroo looked like he could barely hold it together. Your boyfriend clearly had seen better days, frown heavy as he glared at his seniors; all he wanted was to eat his goddamn sandwich. 
Eventually, you decided to just take a seat next to him, pulling out your own food while the two former captains began bickering about who knows what. Kenma continued to play his game, happily taking the apple slices you graciously slid over to him as a boost. After you got situated, Akaashi instantly plopped his head right on your shoulder, desiring comfort from the emotional turmoil he just endured. 
You kissed away the stress lines on his forehead before opening up your bento, already having an idea in mind as to what’s gotten him so deflated. But, you spared him any further humiliation—You planned to report that stupid post later anyways. 
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You chilled outside the locker rooms waiting for ATSUMU, upon his request to walk you back to the dorms after practice was over. You told him there was no need, that you’d be fine walking back on your own, but he insisted. 
And you were so glad he did. 
While you were waiting, you mindlessly scrolled on Twitter until a familiar username caught your attention; @/FckIt22. Everyone knew of the infamous ‘Horny Bucket List’ going around and boosting already inflated egos, speculating and even sometimes outing people of their most lewd fantasies with popular guys on campus. You couldn’t help but watch the drama unfold every time there’d be a new update to the list, eating it up whenever it’d be someone you knew, or someone you would’ve never guessed to be on it. 
And to your surprise, after you refreshed the page, it was both. Your mouth was slightly ajar when a picture of your boyfriend’s boyish grin greeted you, in his volleyball jersey, soaked with sweat and hair pushed back from his forehead; looking like a full course meal. 
Eagerly, you tapped in to read the thread attached to the image, intrigued to know what was said about Atsumu until… 
“...The fuck?” 
As quick as your excitement came, there it went. Right there, in big letters for the whole campus, no, the entire internet to see was your boyfriend’s face attached with someone else’s name. And not just any someone. 
‘O S A M U   M I Y A’ 
You didn’t know whether to laugh, or what. Could they’ve seriously not been bothered to make sure they had the right twin? And not only that, they mentioned you in the thread. Didn’t bother to @ you, though.
That only pissed you off even further.
‘Osamu Miya. 6’1ft of muscle and charm, whose insatiable appetite won’t be satisfied until he’s had your thighs wrapped around his face for an hour AT LEAST. Not the most expressive, but make no mistake that he’s the ultimate brat tamer; no doubt [______] could attest to that.’
“I know damn well they didn’t just…” You muttered in disbelief, shaking your head as you read on.
‘But, if you’re good, he mayyyy let you top. Don’t think for a second you’re in control tho. Unlike his brother, he’s got Dom energy for daysss. Doubt this man does anything but grunt and groan, but overall he still gets an 8/10. Yum ♡.’ 
Wow.
You weren’t expecting to see your future brother-in-law painted in this light today, but supposed there was a first for everything. To be fair, whomever ran the account sure knew how to sell a fantasy, but it didn’t excuse the lack of decorum they had. You felt a little disturbed, almost violated. One could only imagine how the twins would feel if they saw this…
“Hey there, stranger.” You jumped slightly at the sudden intrusion; speak of the devil. Atsumu wrapped his arms around your middle from behind, placed his chin on your shoulder, and gave a loving squeeze. “Ya ready?” 
“Uh, yeah.” You quickly locked your phone.
A little too quick. 
A small pout formed on his face. He immediately called you out. “What’re ya lookin’ at?” 
“Hm?”
“Your phone, y’were lookin’ at something.” Noticing your shifty behavior, his grip around you loosened a little as he strained his neck to look you square in the face. It wasn’t long before a teasing grin spread across his. His eyebrows wiggled, “Ya lookin’ at porn?” 
With a roll of your eyes, you lightly jabbed him in his bicep. “Yeah, ‘Tsumu. I was totally looking at porn. You got me.”  
Atsumu shrugged, sporting an even bigger grin as he started to sway both of you. “Hey, no judgement here. But don’t forget ya got the real deal right here, darlin’. Whenever you need it, your lovely boyfriend will take care of ya. All’s ya gotta do is ask.”
He spun you around in his hold, and grabbed your hips. With low, tired eyes he stared deeply into your soul. His lopsided grin brought more damage to your already fluttering heart, not to mention his semi that was now pressed against your stomach; this man had been dying to have you in his arms for a while, it seemed. However, even with this sexual tension growing between the two of you...you just couldn’t help yourself. 
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Osamu.”
Immediately, his grin dropped. You did your best to remain stoic, but the absolute disgust that took over his face was just too good. Your body began to shake with laughter, small snickers escaping you as you bit your lip to hold it back. Atsumu was not amused.
“That joke wasn’t funny back in high school, [______], still ain’t funny now…”
“Oh, this is no joke. As of today, my boyfriend’s Osamu Miya, and apparently he’s my brat-tamer. Did you know that he won’t even let me top unless I’ve been good-?”
“Knock it off.” Atsumu glared, gently pinching your sides. You squirmed, but the teasing smile you had didn’t falter. “What’s gotten into ya? Tryin’ to get a rise outta me or somethin’?”
“Oh, you haven’t seen it yet?”
“Seen what?”
You unlocked your phone and showed him the thread. Atsumu held a look of utter confusion, squinting at it until it eventually registered what you were showing him. He’d heard about the list that circled around on campus, some of his friends and teammates used to brag, or complain about it to him when they ended up on it. At first, he found it entertaining…but now?
“THE FUCK?”
He snatched the phone out of your hands to get a closer look, catching on to what you’d originally been hiding from him in the beginning; Atsumu wished it had been porn.
“That’s what I said!” You laughed, incredulously. “The nerve of them to just mix the two of you up like that. And to add me into it without even bothering to tag me? Probably ‘cause they knew I’d call them out on their bullshit. Can you believe-”
“‘Unlike his brother, he’s got Dom energy for days’?? I totally have Dom energy! We’re fucking twins, why wouldn’t I? And ‘Samu ain’t no brat-tamer! If anythin’, he’s the goddamn brat.” Somewhere on campus, Osamu sneezed.
You stood there in bewilderment. That’s what he’s concerned about? 
Crossing your arms, you watched him in astonishment. “So, you don’t care that they used your picture? Or the insinuation that I sleep with your brother?”
“‘Course I do! Ya think I like the idea of his filthy mouth being anywhere near you? And usin’ my picture to clickbait my supporters is just cheap. But nothin’ pisses me off more than anyone thinkin’ that bastard has better game than me. 8/10 my ass…”
You snorted. Why were you not surprised?
Taking a small step closer you grabbed his wrist and lowered it, bringing his attention away from the phone. Atsumu now wore a heavy pout, one that you couldn’t help but to kiss; so you did. With a free hand you reaching up to his nape and pulled him downward, capturing his lips. Catching him off guard, man nearly dropped your phone when your tongue slipped into his mouth. With a soft groan, Atsumu wrapped an arm around your waist as he tilted his head in response to your sudden affection, deepening the kiss as it instantly made his mind go blank.
You pulled away too soon for his liking, the blonde blindly chasing after you with his eyes still closed as a light chuckle escaped you. You thumbed at his bottom lip, wiping some of the spit left behind as he slowly opened his eyes. Atsumu’s honey-gaze seared right into you, the hunger from early returning as the semi he sported was now fully hard, thick and heavy as it pressed against your stomach—So fucking whipped, after just one kiss. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Gazing at him lovingly, your nails raked gently through his hair as he practically melted into you. For a moment, you thought he’d start purring.
“What do they know, huh? How about you take me to my dorm and remind me why Atsumu Miya, my lovely boyfriend, is the only one who takes good care of me. Then, we’ll put that account on blast afterwards, what d’you say?”
His boyish grin reappeared, leaning in to place his forehead on yours. “Thought you’d never ask.”
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KENMA felt indifferent about the list. Nothing about it made sense to him, and he left it at that. It didn’t matter how many times his friends brought it up, or how many people whispered about it during lectures—He had no opinion on it. 
“You’re not even a little curious?” Hinata asked.
“No. Not in the slightest.”
The two of them were chilling in the canteen, in the student gaming section, both occupied with their own respective poisons. While Hinata farmed pixelated fruit on his switch, Kenma battled npcs on the public-shared ps4. The copper-head talked on and on about trivial subjects since they’ve arrived, ranging from tough assignments he nearly failed to new moves he tried in volleyball, while the quieter of the two responded occasionally when he felt it necessary. 
Hinata gasped, looking up from his game in genuine surprise. “Whoa, Bakayama said the exact same thing. You and him are probably one of the few guys I know who aren’t interested in knowing if they’re on the list. Well, you two and Suckyshima. And Sakusa-san...and...”
This went on for a good minute. 
Kenma sighed, neutral expression not matching the rapid movement of his thumbs across the controller. “It’s just some dumb list. Not like it benefits anyone.”
“Sure it does! I heard it brought lots of people together,” Hinata paused, tilting his head as he hummed in thought. “Although, I also heard it split people up, too. And caused a lot of rumors…and got that one professor fired…”
Yet another minute, passed. 
Kenma couldn’t help but snort, at least finding his rambling endearing enough to stomach yet another pointless conversation about that accursed list—Why people were so obsessed with it was beyond him. 
“Sounds like a lot of drama. No thanks.”
There’s silence between the two of them, the sound effects from their games being the only thing filling the space. Kenma continued rapidly mashing buttons, tongue sticking out as he concentrated on the level. However, he couldn’t help but feel like they were being watched. They were in a public space, sure, but…something definitely felt off. Choosing to ignore it, he refocused on the game. Hinata just finished up harvesting his watermelons when he suddenly let out a teasing chuckle.
“I wonder if [______] checked.”
Kenma’s thumbs stop. His character was taking incredible amounts of damage, but none of it registered after the mere mention of your name; the pudding-head flushed red. After a moment, he regained composure and went back to smashing buttons, ignoring how slippery his hands just got.  
 “…Why would they do that?” He muttered. 
Hinata shrugged, “Well, just because you’re not curious doesn’t mean they aren’t. Believe it or not, you’re a good looking guy, Kenma-san. And if there’s a fuck-list going around where my s/o might end up on it, I’d wanna be the first to know.”
Hm. Couldn’t argue with that. He always feared you’d end up on the list, but eventually realized it only catered to a certain demographic, mostly focused on the more sociable students, so he figured there was no other reason to care. It’d be a waste of time, Kenma knew for a fact there’d be no chance of him being on it, his outward appearance be damned.
He practically spent his first couple of semesters cooped up in his room, going to class, bare minimum socializing, streamed with his camera off, rinsed and repeated. He didn’t make many new friends during that time, and met you completely by happenstance during a late night cram session in the library; how in the fresh hell would anyone think about fucking him if he rarely gave other people the time of day? 
Kenma kissed his teeth, “You’re being annoying.”
Hinata merely flashed a bright grin, leaning over to playfully poke him in the arm. “Don’t mind~!” 
The dirty-blonde playfully swatted at the intruding hand, earning a bright laugh and another poke from the ginger just for shits n’ giggles, before he returned back to his video game. Unfortunately, the eyes around him didn’t falter, some being less obvious about it whilst others didn’t even try to hide their blatant staring. After a while it started to get uncomfortable, even Hinata couldn’t help getting concerned once he started to notice.
“Uh…is it just me, or are we drawing in a crowd?”
“I dunno. Maybe they’re just waiting for me to get off the game…” Kenma reasoned. But deep down, something told him that wasn’t the case at all.
After some time passed with the situation not getting any better, he decided to just call it a night. There was no point in trying to relax anymore with all those people pointing and whispering. As he began to leave the game, not bothering to save his progress, his phone buzzed. Immediately, Kenma knew it had to have been you—He kept everyone else on DND. When he unlocked his phone, though, the gamer was shocked to see the overwhelming amount of notifications on the screen, all from his closest friends, minus the one he’s currently with. 
It appeared they’d been trying to get his attention for a while. You must’ve been the last resort, as your message urged him to meet at your place.  He didn’t need to be told twice, grateful for this escape from the prying eyes of the random bystanders. 
“I’m heading over to [_____]’s. Sorry to cut our time short.” 
The ginger simply smiled. “It’s okay, know you don’t like crowds. See ya later, Kenma-san!” 
Kenma curtly nodded, offering a tiny smile in gratitude. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he made haste for the nearest exit, keeping his gaze locked on the ground until he made it outside. He could feel the eyes following him as he left, making a cold chill run down his spine. He couldn’t wait to get to your place.
When he eventually arrived, his knuckle barely grazed the door before it flew wide open, startling him a little. Before he even had time to catch his jumping heart, you pulled him into your embrace, making him tense up slightly until he soon melted into your familiar warmth. Sanctuary. 
“I’m so sorry, Ken. You must be devastated.” 
“Um, I’m fine...” he mumbled. Your arms only grew a little tighter around him, as if you were…shielding him? Eventually you pulled back just enough to look at him, searching his eyes for something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Why would I be devastated?”
You blinked widely at him. “You mean you hadn’t seen it?”
He squinted, visibly confused, and your silence did little to calm his wariness. Another cold chill traveled down his spine, hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up as he struggled to figure out what this feeling meant. It wasn’t until after you gave a strained smile, sympathy swirling within your gaze, did it eventually hit him like a semi truck. The flooded messages, the suffocating stares, the whispers...It couldn’t be. 
He slowly began to shake his head. “No...”
You exhaled. “Yes.”
‘Kenma Kozume. 5′6ft recluse with the mannerisms of a kitten. But don’t let his meek demeanor fool you—it’s always the quiet ones you need to look out for. Though his posture may appear questionable, we all know it’s because of the monster between his legs dragging him down, baggy clothes no doubt concealing an absolute masterpiece of toned skin for you to mark up. The effort he puts into playing video games, don’t expect the same amount in the bedroom. I believe Kenma to be a lazy Switch with Sub energy, who’ll spend most of the session on his back, but that’s okay. We stan a pillow prince. 9/10.’
He looked at your phone with mild disgust. “You’re fucking joking.”
“'fraid not. It was posted less than an hour ago, probably while you were gaming with Hinata. Kuroo was the first to see it, and sent it to the groupchat. That’s why I assumed you had seen it already. Dammit, I knew someone would notice how hot you were sooner or later. And here I thought I was doing a good job gate-keeping you. ”
“Don’t just say stuff like that out loud...” He flushed, tugging on your sleeve in mild embarrassment. After composing himself, Kenma let out an irritated exhale. “What a pain. Whatever, this’ll probably blow over by tomorrow. Someone else will be posted and they’ll forget all about me. Guess I’ll just keep an even lower profile until then. Shouldn’t be too difficult.” 
Laying together on your Snorlax beanbag chair, Kenma turned on his stomach to bury himself in the plush cushion, wanting to forget this whole nightmare. But, you weren’t gonna let him wallow so easily. Tugging on the shoulder part of his sleeve to get his attention, Kenma groaned before tilting his head slightly to peek at you with one eye through the curtain of his hair. 
“You don’t understand, Ken. Bitches practically froth at the mouth for the sexy, socially awkward, gamer-boy type with the messy hair and lax attitude. I would know, I am bitches!” He snickered softly, rolling his visible eye. “My point is, this most definitely will not blow over by tomorrow. Not when they’re already hooked on the fantasy of you.”
“Exactly, a fantasy.” He said, slightly muffled. Shifting to lay on his back, Kenma rested his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. “Meaning they’ll never get to know the real thing, so eventually they’ll get bored. You shouldn’t work yourself up over this, kitten.” 
“Yeah, but what if someone-” 
Reaching over, Kenma gently flicked your forehead. With a soft yelp, you half-heartedly glared at him before going to retaliate with your own flick. He merely grinned, eyes full of mirth as he swiftly grabbed the hand and used it to pull you in closer. “They won’t. And even if they do, I'll just get Kuroo to tell one of his lame jokes to scare ‘em off. Problem solved.” 
You lightly hit his arm, but still graced him with a laugh. Somewhere on campus, said rooster-head sneezed. 
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hoshigray · 10 months
Text
Been thinking about this scenario a lot, but ex-husband! Toji, where you two are pretty chill with each other, even after five years of divorce. But the feelings between you two start to parade back after all these years, and it all comes boiling over after spending one night together.
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A/n: Been a while since I've done one of these scenario thingies, plus this idea has been rotting my mind for a long time, and I needed it to get out, lol. I pushed back my Gojo fic to tmrw or Thursday because my brain was not feeling like re-reading 3-4k words while running on one hour of sleep. So, instead, we're dropping this in its stead. Sorry about that, and hope you like this while I fix the fic up later today :) Any grammar/spelling errors on this will be dealt with tmrw.
Cw: ex-husband! Toji x fem! reader - implied that reader is entering their mid 30s - starts out cute the first half but smutty the next, so minors DNI - implied that Tsumiki and Megumi are around middle school age; 12 (T) and 11 (M) - pining; Toji is whipped for you, I fear - Daddy kink - prone bone position + mating press - pet names (baby, sweetheart, sweetie, mama, princess) - cervix fucking - praise - itty-bitty-tiny overstimulation - closure; happy ending (?).
Wc: 3.4k (wow, way longer than the last one, lol)
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Ex-husband! Toji...
...who you've divorced after being together for four years. It was a marriage built on love, convenience, and heartache. There is no denying that Toji loved you very much; if anything, the man would set the world ablaze if anything were to happen to you. Especially when you were the sweetest thing that blessed his presence and his two children who were young at the time — Tsumiki and Megumi at age three. The fact that you loved him as much as he loved you is beyond doubt in Toji's mind. However, somewhere down the line, you felt a "shadow" that you could not surpass nor fill — the late wife of Toji.
You could tell that Toji still had a piece of him that just couldn't let the memory of his late wife go, and you understood that. Hence why you chose to leave him, which was glum for all parties, but Toji understood where you were coming from and signed the papers.
...who's still chill with you after the divorce. You two promised not to act like complete strangers, especially with Tsumiki and Megumi being close to you. Just because the ring isn't on your finger doesn't mean you must change completely. The two of you are comfortable enough to be in each other's company, taking turns watching over the kids and acting like you're still married by poking fun at one another like the good days.
"Hey, big guy," Toji turns to the kitchen hallway where you're looking at him, his usual black coffee in his mug still sheltered in your apartment cupboards. "You look like shit; too tired to go to the clubs to find some minx to wow you enough like you used to?"
He snickers at your brazenness. "Shut up, brat. I could ask the same fr' you. Got some good dick on the side to help that attitude of yours, baby?" After checking around to see if the kids are nearby, you give him the middle finger. He chuckles before sipping his coffee.
...whose kids adore and love you so much that they secretly try to have you and Toji in the same place, which the two of you are entirely aware of. Five years passed after your separation, though that doesn't hinder the children from wanting you back in their lives again. Because to them, you are always a Fushiguro, and the love for you will always be there. It's there when you go to Tsumiki's soccer games and drag your ex-husband to find a better seat on the bleachers to watch her play. It's there when Megumi tells his father he "accidentally" left his baseball bat at your place and "unfortunately" now has to spend the night there (and you always receive them). And it's there when you promise to come along on family trips, like going to the zoo and taking pictures by the Panda enclosure with his daughter or going to the aquarium and listening intently to his son explain all the different types of jellyfish.
Toji can't blame his own kin for being attached to you because you are still a mother in their eyes. And so to his.
...who has his wedding ring on his dog-tag necklace but always tucks it under his shirt whenever you're present. It gives him a peace of mind when it comes to you because if he can't be there for you 24/7, he knows you're under his protection whenever you need it. But the thought of you knowing he still wears it makes him anxious, worried that you'll take it the wrong way and request he never wears it again. So, for his sake, he keeps you blind to this secret. And he wonders if you ever wear yours...
...who welcomes you without hesitation when you have to spend the night at his place because he notices you're too exhausted to go home so late. The only problem is that there's no other room outside the kids and Toji's. And as much you protest, expressing your satisfaction with taking the couch, your ex-husband disagrees and will carry you to bed, sneering to himself as you try to wiggle out of his stronghold until he smacks the bedroom door closed with his leg.
"I told you I was fine sleeping on the couch, Toji." You complain to him, yet your back is pressed against his chest with his arm around your waist.
"And I told you not gonna happen, princess." his hold around you gets tighter, pulling you closer for him to rest his chin on your shoulder. "You'd probably fall off and smack that pretty face of y'rs on the floor."
"I would not—You know what," you stooped from saying anything further to the man grinning behind your ear. You shift a bit to make yourself comfortable. "Goodnight, Toji. And thank you."
It takes every fiber in his being to not kiss your cheek then and there. Exhaling softly through his nostrils as he lays his head back on the pillow. "No problem, sweetheart."
...who the last time he had someone after your separation was not feeling it at all. You even said he is free to do whatever he wants when moving on to the next minx that caught his attention. You two are adults and shouldn't feel entitled to putting each other on a leash. Despite that, he knew moving on from you wouldn't be easy — especially in the bedroom.
The women he's had after you can only be counted on one hand. No matter how good the fun was with the others, his mind would always crawl back to you. It didn't matter how different their hair was, what they dressed that night, or how fucking good the sex was; you would cloud his mind in some way. They weren't you. They weren't his sweet thing.
...who's extremely perplexed in a nightclub when he sees you. He didn't want to go in the first place until Satoru Gojo barged into his apartment, dragged him out in his best attire, and left Nanami (another victim of Gojo's foolishness) to babysit Megumi and Tsumiki. And it was bad enough that Gojo snaked away from Toji to the dance floor the second they got inside, the raven-haired man almost popping a vein in vexation.
So the older man resorts to just doing the usual gig: walking around before sitting at the bar to ask for a regular beer. He stays there for nearly half an hour, taking sips of his bottle while sweet-talking to the ladies that occasionally find him and give him his number. Things got really loud when the DJ at the discothèque played "Up!" by Lil Vada and DonnySolo, all the party people crowding the floor, bumping and grinding each other while singing the lyrics. It was at this point that Toji had enough of the massive headache growing in his head, so he was about to down his beer and leave the club; Gojo be damned because the fucker could find his own way home and then some.
But midway through putting the beer bottle on his scarred lips, something in Toji's peripheral captures his attention. And his jade eyes go wide at what he sees.
Down to the right side of the dance floor are booths catered to bigger parties, so it's obvious to notice when a single person sits alone on one of the round tables while everyone else is dancing their hearts out. That one person was you, observing the dance floor with your head on your hand resting on the table.
To say that Toji was flabbergasted by the image of you in a place like this after all these years was tough for him to comprehend. Yet what really had him in a chokehold was how stunning you were. From where he stood, he could tell that you dolled yourself quite a bit. Your hair was kept in a style that displayed your face wholly, and you were wearing a beautiful halter-neck dress with slits revealing your thighs deliciously.
He forgets how to breathe when your eyes drift in his direction and find him. You're just as surprised as he is for a short moment, but you offer him a familiar smile and beckon him to come to your side of the club. The older man wastes no time, paying the bartender and making his way through the crowd to your table. When he's close enough, he can tell that your dress is backless, exposing your smooth skin that calls for him to touch.
And when Toji notices the ring on your left hand — the old wedding ring he gifted you — the world around him comes to a complete standstill.
"Hey, big guy." He snaps back to look at your beautiful face, your smile still there to blind him, and the booth far from the dance floor and music so he can listen to your sweet voice. You move to the side to make room for him to sit. "Didn't think I'd find you here."
"Me neither." He admits to you as he takes a seat, his green orbs never leaving your figure. "What are you doin' here?"
"Some friends dragged me out here for one of their birthdays. I figured I'd be here for a few hours and loosen up a bit, you know? But I don't know, I guess I'm just so used to being at my place that I'm out of practice with clubs."
Toji nods at your answer. "Yeah, I was dragged here, too. I'm with—"
"Gojo? Yeah, I thought so. He's right there dancing with my friends." He pans around to the dance floor to see commotion at the center. The snow-haired man was dancing as a crowd formed around him, getting grinded on by a woman with a "happy birthday" headband.
Gojo notices the raven-headed man staring his way, pulls down his shades, and winks. That's when the reason why Toji was brought here in the first place hits him. Gojo knew you would be here tonight because of your friend's birthday. And now that you two are sitting alone, the wink signaled Toji to make his move.
"....Wanna get the hell outta here?"
You giggle at his suggestion. "Yeah, I don't feel like watching my friends get pregnant on the dance floor."
Toji snickers and grabs your hand to lead you out of the booth. He then drapes his denim jacket over your shoulders to cover your exposed shoulders and back, and the two of you leave the club without anyone noticing a thing.
...who spends the rest of the night with you as if you two are on a date again. It's late, so many shops around the area are closed already, but that doesn't stop the two of you from having fun. From sharing a meal at a nearby diner, walking around a shopping plaza admiring the silent ambiance, and listening to old tunes in his car as you two share stuff about your day while holding hands. And the change of mood completely baffles Toji. Nevertheless, when he sees the smile on your face and hears the sweet tune of your laughter, the grasp on your hand gets tighter with every minute. All his intentions go into enjoying having you with him like this again.
...who stays by your side until he has to drop you off at your place, parked his car to walk you to your apartment door. It's 1 o'clock in the morning, way later than Toji ever intended to stay out. Not that it matters now, because it's all worth it being able to walk with you. He doesn't let go of your hand even when his heart dies a little when you two arrive at your door.
"Had a good time?" You ask while unlocking the door; your eyes showcase subtle exhaustion but are overshadowed by your smile.
"Sure as hell did since I saw you at the club." He confesses, your chuckles casting a spell on him.
"Hmm, I'm glad you were there too, Toji." You meant those words, your eyes gazing into his, and the man's plunged deep into your gorgeous orbs. A feeling that he now realizes he wants to be the only one experiencing with you.
An awkward silence for a few seconds prompts you to snatch your hand away from his, causing his stomach to drop. "Sorry, your jacket" is what you use to excuse yourself, moving to take off the denim jacket. But Toji stops you, his hands stationed on your shoulders to keep you still.
"No, it's cold, sweetie." His voice is hushed, only for you to hear. "You can give it back next time."
Silence comes back again, but the air is heavier this time. The awkwardness is replaced with something more solicitous, more affectionate. You notice it when Toji has yet removed his hands from your shoulders, his large palms warming you up to the touch.
"Toji—"
"It's alright, baby." His gruff tone is still a whisper, and butterflies flutter in your stomach. "I won't do anythin'."
"No, no," you don't know what came over you, but you place your hands on his chest. Then your finger touches something from underneath his turtleneck, having you pull his collar down to pull out the dog-tag necklace that still harbors his old wedding ring. Toji's blood shifts to ice cold when you see the accessory — his anxiousness spikes up to an all-time high, only mere seconds from combusting based on whatever your response will be. And it comes.
"I...I want you to do something, Toji." It felt strange saying those words with your shaky confidence, though it's what you wished to express. "I want you..."
And just like that, whatever restraint that the older man had for you was butchered away. Emerald eyes take in every feature of your anticipating expression, and his lips come crashing down on yours.
...who couldn't care less how late it is right now because he finally has you where he wants you after all these years. It's 2:30 in the morning, way too late for loud noises as they'll disrupt the neighbors next door. But, again, Toji doesn't care about that. When he finally has you lying under him on your stomach, screaming out his name while he drives his cock deep inside you, what is there to care about?
The two of you are in the prone bone position, where you lie flat on your belly on the cream-white satin sheets of your bed, your legs in between Toji's and bare ass out for him to have easy access to your creamy cunt that hugs onto him all so well.
Tears paint your wet and sweaty face, drool escapes from the corner of your mouth and meets the sheets beneath you. The harsh thrusts of Toji's pelvis hitting your ass with such precision have you see stars, and his big hands keep your arms still. All you can hear are the ecstatic cries of your voice and the noises of skin smacking together.
"Nnmph!! Haaaah!! Ahhhh, yesssss, Daddy, just like that," your voice feels strained from all the screaming you've been doing for the past hour. Lips are swollen from the constant biting, your butt stinging from the intense contact with your ex-husband's pelvis. It's hard to think of anything but the man above you and his dick rearranging your slit like his personal toy. You never thought you'd experience this exhilarating and rewarding sensation again. And now that you do, it's all you want to indulge in. "H-Harder, pleaseeee, I want mo—Ahhhnnn!"
Toji grinds his hips down to your ass, churning your insides and grazing your cervix to the point of incoherent babbles. "Mmmm, oooh, shit, fuckin' shit. You're too tight on me, mama." He gives you a sharp thrust when you least expect it, and the walls of your chasm clamping down on his length has him hiss. It's hard to believe you're permitting him to have you like this. It's been five years. Five years of respectful boundaries and keeping a platonic relationship. Five years of denying feelings of want and desire. All those years of heavy guilt suddenly lifted from his shoulders just for him to have you under his bow again, your body quivering and voice shaky because of his touch.
It feels so surreal...But, God, Toji missed this so goddamn much. Missing your eyes, your smile, your touch, your body. Just you. Only you. "Hnnngh!! Damn, you feel so fuckin' good, baby. Can never have enough..."
"Mnnaaaah! Daddy, I'm gonna cummm, I'm gonna—Oooohh!!" The tip of his shaft scrapes the upper walls of your vagina, your brain pounding so hard to the point it hurts. "Pleaseee, let me cum, Daddyyy..."
He can tell you're close and senses your orgasm climbing up with his. That's when the pace of his hips goes erratically fast, jabbing your sweet spots and tender cervix, causing more tears to come down and your peak to finally release for the third time that night. As you cream on his cock, Toji's not too far from his own crescendo. Your velvety walls contract around his member divinely, and the older man spills his load into your quivering figure.
You're allowed to experience the aftershocks of your orgasm as you two let your bodies calm down, Toji laying his chest on your sweaty, heaving back. He then slowly removes his dick from your chasm, and the essence of your unioned sex feels cold while sliding down your inner thighs.
"Haaaaah...Mmmm, thank you, Toji." You whimper out as he lays kisses down your neck and shoulders. "Thank you..."
But little did you know that it wasn't the last of it. Before you could apprehend what was going on, Toji already had you flipped over to your back, stationing your legs on his shoulders to a mating press. And you see that his cock is not limp yet...
W-Wait a damn second—
"T-Toji, wait, hold on!" You try to rationalize with the man who aligns his shaft to your gushing vulva, and your sweat runs cold. "It's getting late. I just came three times already! We should—Nmmmph!!"
The head of his cock slides right in thanks to the slick and come lubricating your opening. Adding his weight onto you as he pushes his length deep into your chasm again, you cry choked sobs when he meets your cervix again, and his pelvis rubs against your clitoris. "Sorry, mama. Just lemme finish here, 'kay? Daddy missed havin' you like this, so I wanna give you all of me while I still can."
...who has your fatigued self lying on his chest, rubbing circles on your back and placing soft kisses on your forehead as you feel the effects of sleep slowly creep up on you. The lights are now off, the moonlight bargaining from the curtains being the only light source as you two are ready to gather whatever amount of sleep you can get.
"Hey, baby." But before that, Toji wants your attention for the last time before you sleep.
"Mhmm?" Your eyes are closed, but your ears are still open to listen.
His eyes drift down to the left hand that lays motionless on his chest. The gem on the ring flashes softly for it to be distinguishable. "How come you were wearin' your ring at the club?"
A few seconds go by before you give him the honest truth. "Same reason you wear yours. I always wear it when going out somewhere or alone someplace. Gives people the idea that I'm not ready for anyone else."
"Then why not wear it when I'm around?"
You giggle breathlessly. "Same reason why you don't let me see yours. I don't need a ring when I have you with me. A ring doesn't compare to my big man who will love and protect me wherever we go."
And Toji doesn't ask anything else after that. He lets you fall asleep in his arms and listens to your breathing follow a melodic rhythm. Your words stick with him even when his eyes close, and he soon falls into a deep sleep.
It's far-fetched to think that you two will be married again. Maybe it's possible in his dreams, but not in the real world. Regardless, Toji knows he will always stand beside you and be there for you. With or without a ring that's merely evidence of your love to outsiders. He knows you love him, and that's all he needs to keep moving. And if he could have you as his wife again, he'd sweep you off your feet in a heartbeat.
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crushmeeren · 5 months
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Levi/Fem Reader SFW & NSFW Headcannons
Warnings; making out, pussy eating, some dirty talk, vaginal sex, light choking, hickies, doggy style, squirting, Levi paints your back
Note; please do enjoy this brain food, I love Levi & I’m emotionally scarred about the AOT ending so yeah
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Levi who has the most black cat esq energy you’ve ever seen, who is the king of not giving a single fuck, who is brutally blunt, with a tongue sharper than a knife—but who has the strongest will, who has a kind heart (he just has a hard time expressing it), who loves fiercely & with every fiber of his being
Levi who feels most at home when he can relax in a dark room & listen to his favorite podcast or watch his favorite shows, who finds it calming & a source of comfort, who thrives during the nighttime, (you’ve definitely come home during the middle of the day only to have the shit scared out of you when you find Levi just sitting in your completely dark bedroom)
Levi who owns an all black, large fluffly dog who he has affectionately named Beartooth—who has no idea what breed his dog is, he just showed up at his house and never left (Levi complained at first but you know it’s a lie because you always find them napping together—very much two peas in a pod)
Levi who you met when you were attending a rock concert, who is the head of security for a very large, very popular concert venue, who was actually working the barricade because “one of his fucking shitheads called in”—lucky for you because you ended up giving him your number & he actually fucking texted you
Levi who legitimately looks like he was carved out of stone, who is so so fucking hot, who winks at you whenever he catches you staring at him (which is often—but who could blame you? The man’s a god), whose side profile is so unfairly pretty you can’t stand it
Levi who adores rainy days, especially when it’s cold, who lives for these types of afternoons when he can relax with you, drinking hot coffee and having movie marathons —whether it’s in the couch or in your shared bed
Levi who has an absent minded habit of fiddling with your fingers no matter where you are, who softly traces the lengths of each one—paying special attention to the bumps of your knuckles, who places your hand in his lap and draws shapes & words you can sometimes decipher on your palm (you have to pull away once it’s starts to tickle too much—but never for long)
Levi who lives in black clothing (seriously you aren’t sure you’ve ever come across an article of his clothing that isn’t black), who says it’s his favorite color, who really enjoys wearing Doc Martens (he says he likes the aesthetic)
Levi who has a gorgeous sleeve decorating his right arm, who has multiple tattoos all over his chest, his back, his legs—even a spine tattoo, which you almost drool seeing for the first time (you feel smug that you’re the only one that’s granted permission to see all the hidden ones—especially the spine art, it makes your knees weak)
Levi who can be as cold as ice, a jackass to everyone—always having a snarky remark on the tip of his tongue, but—not with you, he talks to you as if you’re the center of his world, looking at you like you hung the stars (not to say he doesn’t still call you an idiot—although it’s said fondly)
Levi who is unnervingly smart, who always seems to be one step ahead, who seems like he can tell the future — it genuinely gives you chills
Levi who secretly has the warmest smile, who graces you with it the most when you’re at home together, who gives you butterflies everytime it’s directed at you
Levi who loves you so deeply you never doubt for a second how he feels, who supports you in everything you do, who is the quiet, most consistent rock in your life, who is your best friend & who you spend the rest of your life with blissfully
NSFW BELOW
Levi who doesn’t have the highest sex drive, but when he is in the mood—you get fucked so much in one night you swear your pussy is swollen & you won’t be able to walk the next day
Levi who will get instantly hard—cock full, hot & heavy against his thigh whenever he sees you come out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, who groans when he smells your sweet smelling soap, who shoves his face into your neck & inhales deeply—loving the feel of your slightly damp & warm skin (he gets turned on knowing you’re squeaky clean)
Levi who will spread you out on the bed, unwrapping your towel like you’re the best present he’s ever received, who grips your tits & pinches your nipples, soft lips pressed firmly against yours as he licks into your mouth—trying to eat you whole
Levi who is possessive, who loves to sink his teeth into your neck, your tits, the sensitive inner skin of your thighs, who leaves dark marks in the shape of a twisted necklace on your collarbone—biting & sucking until your pussy is drooling for him & your gripping his hair so tight it makes his scalp tingle with pain (which he fucking loves)
Levi who takes it upon himself to push your thighs so far towards your chest that your hips lift off the mattress as he kitten licks at your clit before wrapping his lips around it, sucking gently while he flicks his tongue mercilessly—intent on making you cum
Levi who eats pussy like a champ so it doesn’t take you long until your thighs are twitching under his grip, who lets you relax back onto the bed as he slips his middle two fingers into your pussy so you have something to clench around as you cum when he swirls his tongue around your clit—who makes you cum so hard it feels like warm syrup is gushing through your limbs over & over until you can’t take it
Levi who pulls away, chin glistening, lips swollen & cherry red, who whispers pussy tastes so good, love when you cum on my fingers sweet girl, you make me feel like a king—as he gets on his knees between your legs—too eager for anymore foreplay, who just wants to get inside you so badly his cock aches
Levi who doesn’t meet any resistance at all when he presses the tip of his cock inside you, you’re so slick that he bottoms out accidentally all at once—making a violent shiver travel down his spine, whose mouth falls open slightly as his eyebrows scrunch from the pleasure—who doesn’t hold back
Levi who doesn’t necessarily talk or make too much noise in bed, but does make your head spin whenever he does speak, who wastes no time gripping your leg and hooking your knee over his shoulder, who leans his weight onto your leg, bending you in half & wraps a hand around your throat as he starts a slow, toe-curling pace—shifting his hips upwards on each thrust to nail your sweet spot
Levi who makes you cum at least three times like that so easily it’s pathetic, who lets out a throaty moans when you squeeze his cock just right, murmuring lowly in your face my cock feels so good doesn’t it princess? It’s all yours, who feels your back arch up into his movements, neck straining pleasantly in his hold—making your head fuzzy with pleasure
Levi who starts to feel desperate, who starts to lose his cool & collected composure, wanting to cum so badly, who flips your over & raises your ass in the air, shoving your face into the sheets & starts to fuck you like he might die if he doesn’t cum right this second, who pushes down on your lower back making you howl because ultimately he’s fucking you like a dog
Levi who doesn’t say he’s gonna cum but you can tell he’s getting close because of the hitches in his breathing, who forces one more orgasm out of you before he cums, making you clench so tight that you start to squirt as he pulls out, who fists his cock and paints your back white while letting out a high pitched, whiny moan as he does so—a noise that is eternally burned into your brain
Levi who makes your limbs feel like jelly, who lets you both return to earth before he forces you up, changing the sheets & guiding you into the shower because there’s no fucking way I’m letting you get the sheets nasty again (he washes your body with the most gentle touch, like the secret giant softie he is)
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aenramsden · 1 month
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The following is not my idea; it was the original brainchild of a friend of mine named Omicron, with help from various others including EarthScorpion, TenfoldShields, @havocfett and ShintheNinja:
So, you know what I want to do one day? Run (or play in) a D&D campaign in which the Big Bad Super Dragon that is fuckoff ancient and unfathomably powerful and whose actions have shaped history and bent the course of nations and had repercussions on the whole culture and society in the region where it's set; the Bonus Special Boss for some endgame optional quest after you defeat the direct BBEG and win the campaign...
... is a white dragon.
To explain this for people not deep into 5e monster lore; D&D dragons are sapient beings, and known for their instincts and tendencies, and whenever you meet an big evil dragon that's really old it's usually this ancient creature of terrible intellect Smaug-ing it up all over the place.
Except white dragons are fucking stupid. Like, they're still capable of speech and thought! They're just… feral, hungry morons. And you almost never see them portrayed as ancient wyrms for that reason; they lack majesty. Critical Role did it, yes, but even then, Vorugal is explicitly the most bestial member of the Chroma Conclave, and the others are the more intelligent planners and long-term threats. An ancient white as a nation-defining endboss, though; not a thug for a smarter master but as the strongest and biggest threat around is just not the sort of thing you tend to see.
Adventurers: "Oh wise Therunax the Munificent, gold dragon of Law and Good, what can you tell us adventurers of the evil dragons which rule this land?" Therunax the Munificent, 500-year old Gold Dragon: "Good adventurers, know this: this land is torn apart by the evil of Tiamat's spawn. The eastern marches are the dwelling of Furinar the Plague-Bringer, black dragoness whose hoard is a thousand sicknesses contained in the body of her tributes. The southern volcanic mountains are the roosting of Angrar the Wrathful, the fiery red dragon, who brings magmatic fury on all who do not worship him. And the northern peaks are home to Face-Biter Mike, the oldest and most powerful of all, of whom I dread to speak." Adventurers: "F-Face-Biter Mike???" Therunax: "Oh yes, verily indeed; two thousand years has Mike lived, and his eyes have seen the rise and fall of five empires, and a hundred and score champions have sought to slay him; and each and every one he bit their fucking face off."
Like... I want to see a campaign where Face-Biter Mike is genuinely the most powerful dragon in the region, if not the entire world. Where sometimes he descends on a city to grab himself some meatsicles and causes a localised ice age by the beat of his vast wings and the frigid wastes of his mighty breath and by the chill his mere presence brings to everything for miles around him, and everyone just has to deal with that for the next decade. An entire era of civilization comes to an end, an empire falls, tens of thousands starve in the winter, all because Mike wanted a snack. Where his hoard is an unfathomably vast mass of jewels and artefacts and precious stones frozen in an unmelting glacier, except he is a nouveau riche idiot with fuckall appraising skill, so half of his hoard is coloured glass or worthless knicknacks, and he doesn't give a shit.
"Your Draconic Majesty, this crown is… It's pyrite." "Yeah, well, it's brighter than this dusty old thing made out of real gold, it's my new best treasure. Throw the other one away." "…throw the Burnished Tiara of Bahamut, forged in the First Age of Man, your majesty???" "See? I can't even remember its fucking name." "But my lord-" "DO YOU WANT TO BE A MEATSICLE" "…I will fetch a trash bag, your majesty."
But at the same time, he's not stupid, he's just simple, and in some ways that makes him more dangerous than the usual kinds of scheming Big Bad you see in these things, while simultaneously justifying why Orcus remains on his throne (because he's lazy). Face-Biter Mike doesn't make convoluted plans or run labyrinthine schemes; he just has a talent for violence and a pragmatic, straightforward approach to turning any kind of problem he struggles with into a problem that can be resolved with violence. Face-Biter Mike has one talent and it's horrifying physical power, so his approach to any complicated problem is "how do I turn this into a situation where I can fly down and bite this dude's face off?" with absolutely no regard for the collateral damage or consequences of doing so, because those are also things he can turn into face-bitable problems.
"My lord, the dread necromancer Nikodemion is using his undead dragons to attempt a conquest of the eastern kingdom; his agents are everywhere, his plans are centuries in the making, what can we do against such a mastermind?" "I'm gonna fly over the capital and eat the eastern king." "M-my lord???" "The kingdom will collapse without leadership, Nikodemion will win his war, he'll take the capital and crown himself king." "And that helps us… how?" "Once he does I'll fly over to the capital and eat him." "…" "This is why you advisors all suck. You're all about convoluted plans when the only thing I need to win is know where my enemy is so I can fly down there and eat him. Stop overthinking things."
And, like, yeah, it's a simplistic plan, but when you're several hundred tons of nigh invincible magical death, you don't need brilliant strategy; the smartest way to win a war is, in this case, the simplest. He's not even all that clever at figuring out the consequences of face-biting, he's just memorised the common consequences of doing so.
(If you want to go all in on Mike being the major mover and shaker in the region; Nikodemion only even has a pet zombie dragon because Mike killed the last dragon to show up and contest his turf but wasn't going to eat a whole dragon by himself. Nikodemion got to stick around and amass that much power because Mike ate the Hero of the Realm while he was adventuring because he figured the Hero would come and try to slay him at some point. Nikodemion got started because Mike ate half the leadership of the Academy of High Magic who typically keep evil wizards and necromancers in check. And then eventually this product of Mike's casual, careless actions becomes a big enough problem to bother Mike personally, at which point Mike eats him too.)
He doesn't even really fail upwards, either! He is regularly reduced to nothing but the glacier he stores his hoard in, but he's Face-Biter Mike so nobody wants to commit to actually ending him forever lest they get their faces bitten the fuck off. And his hoard's in a huge-ass magical glacier so nobody can get to it without running into the Invading Russia problem; it's hard to wage war when everything is frozen over and you're both starving and freezing to death. Once he's been beaten back to his central lair and has lost all his holdings… I mean, he's still a problem, but he's a far away problem. So he loses his assets and spends a decade in a cave brooding it up while no one dares risk trying to actually kill him, and then a generation or two later he flies down to a kobold colony and gets himself some minions, or a dragon-worshipping mage comes to offer his service against a pittance from his hoard, or a particularly stupid cult starts thinking they can get in good with him and leech off his power, and then he's (hah) snowballing again.
He's also got a very… well, the kind of weird Charisma that Grineer bosses do. Like Sargas Ruk, who's a malformed idiot, but oddly charismatic. As he's a dragon, that makes him a natural sorcerer and thus Charisma is all he needs. He's pretty relaxed when he isn't in a face-biting mood, and he's kind of infectiously optimistic, because his life has taught him that he will succeed as long as he perseveres. So he just believes it.
And sometimes that's really refreshing to work for, as an evil minion of darkness! It's like, you're coming to your Evil Dragon Lord with terrible news; you've worked for evil overlords before, you know how it goes. You fall to your knees weeping and tell him that you've failed to seize the incredibly powerful magical artifact, you think your life is forfeit. And he's just like "Eh, it's okay, these things are all over the place. Better luck next time. You remember the guy who took it, right?" and you go "Y-yes, oh great lord!" and he's like "Sweet tell me his name later and I'll grab it" and then eats a frozen adventurer he kept around as a snack.
His followers tend to quickly realise that if they fail him, bringing some temple's silver or a sack of brightly coloured beads or a couple of dead cows means he's super forgiving because at least he's got something out of the day. "Oh boy, cows? It's been forever since I had those, ever since the Orc Steppe Nomads took over it's all about goats and onions. Today is a good day." He's a master of delegation by dragon standards, in that he just tells you "Just go get it done, I don't care how" rather than micromanaging you and constantly appearing as an image in smoke or taking over your campfire.
The key part of Face-Biter Mike as a threat to players (because he exists in the context of a D&D campaign) works well in that you can rely on several known quantities:
He will not pull sneaky shit that you don't see coming
He will not make convoluted plans that you must work to unravel
He will consistently attempt to come down and wreck you personally if he finds the opportunity and you are a threat to him
You cannot fight him head-on (at least not until the last leg of the campaign, and ideally as an optional boss rather than mandatory)
So as long as you are good at staying under the radar, thwarting his minions (whom he gives broad orders to with almost zero oversight) and not putting yourself in face-biting range, you can deal with him. If you succeed, it won't be the first time Mike has lost his assets and had to go brood in his glacier for a decade or two before rebuilding. It happens; he can deal with it. And that's a win for you within the context of a single campaign, so take the win.
And if you're not going to use him as an enemy, he works pretty well as a quest-giver, too! The costs for failure are obvious and straightforward, and "do whatever, just get me mine" means that players have a lot of freedom in accomplishing their goals. As far as evil overlords go he is actually one of the least dangerous to work for; his pride is relatively subdued by draconic standards, his goals are simple and typically achievable, and he is easily pleased.
(There's also a good chance he is the forefather of any draconic sorcerer in your party, because Face Biter Mike is a deadbeat dad.)
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4
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Propaganda
Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):
#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show
We didn’t do hot Glenn summer for him to LOSE. Spoilers for his story but MORE PROPAGANDA FOR YOU:
Young hot rocker dilf
Loyal to his dead wife <3
Does in fact smoke weed
BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)
His band was a Christmas cover band btw.
Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy
Anti government (ofc)
Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)
Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??
Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch
One incredibly buff arm
Has a pet rat named after his son <3
Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged
OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE
HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON
A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)
HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS
IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED
Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence
Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!
I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.
Listen, I don't know this other character but I've seem some good arguments for her However Consider Glenn Close winning through no effort of his own in a bullshit way despite being a dick is the most in character thing ever. He leveled up three times and got a crab mech, we GOT to give him this win, it's fitting
I don’t regulate if minors follow me or not bc I’m a pretty chill space but I hope the world is aware that’s the only reason I haven’t been downright nasty about Glenn close. I’m down bad. I’m NOT in the boat of ‘Glenn isn’t sexy but I want him to win bc it’s my fandom’. I would estimate I have 200+ drawings of Glenn on my phone that AREN’T safe for work. Way more that are. Where did they come from? That’s MY business. But I tell you this fact to assure you- Glenn IS sexy. I’m not voting to represent my fandom I’m voting out of TRUTH AND LOVE. IF YOU DON’T GET IT YOU DON’T GET IT!!! I just think my level of feral over this man is more powerful than y’all realize. If you don’t get his sex appeal that’s okay, but don’t doubt that this is my truth.
Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so
HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. Do you think pickman needs this to feel good about herself? Can she not accept a loss for the sake of a pathetic father? Can she shake hands with the minivan fucker and his human gun and just take the L on this one? He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.
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Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.
Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.
Lup (The Adventure Zone: Balance):
Is somehow the hot twin between her and Taako
Lup Bluejeans (née... Taaco? Tacco? Taco? Tako? who tf knows this is why I'm going with her husband's last name. doylistly she gets her last name from her brother whose last name is given as "Taako again but spelled differently"): Hot, funny, smart and undead. Is there anything else you could want in a woman?? Well, in case there is: she's also canonically trans
LUP IS THE HOTTEST. VOTE LUP.
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daddyricsdoll · 6 months
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You know ✭ Max Verstappen
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Summary: Max got his 3rd world title and he had an idea on how to celebrate.
Warnings: Fingering, Unprotected sex, Oral (f and M receiving), Squirting, Dacryphilia, reader is virgin and there is an age gap, but not specified. Oh, and a little overstimulation.
Word count: 1.9k
A/N: Based off of this request. Sorry it took a while! And never forget, you can always reblog.🤭
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People’s screams fill my ears and colours cover my vision as Max drives his car on the pedestal that lays there for his 3rd consecutive world championship. My body gets squished in between employees from Red Bull and to my advantage I end up flush against the barrier separating us from Max.
He finally gets out of the car and runs toward the crowd waiting for him, he starts hugging the team, making his way closer and closer to me. Ultimately when he makes his way to me, our embrace lasts longer than others. “Max! I can’t believe it. You’re so amazing! I love you” I shouted to him, hoping he heard from under his helmet. I hear the outline of his voice, but I don’t catch the words, still I nod my head and then watch him go and hug the others. I stand by as he collects his trophy, then make my way to his driver's room.
I was a few metres away when I saw Max walk in the room, which resulted in me jogging to the door. “Max!” 
“Oh hey dear” He turns around and grasps me in his arms. 
“You did great, my 3 time world champion!” I give him a million dollar smile and place little pecks along his face. “We need to do something to celebrate!” I cheer.
“I have an idea” Max’s hands slide down my sides and rest on my hips. He looks down at me with dark eyes. “I-um what’s your idea?” 
“Oh come on Schat…” His hands slip around to my back and he pulls me closer, with a tight grip on my ass. “I think you know.” He rasps to me in an unrecognisable voice that makes my breathing hitch and a chill run through me.
A smirk appears on his face and I shift my gaze away from his eyes. His hands start caressing my ass and slowly making their way down, closer to the place he has never touched. I revert my eyes back to him when he unexpectedly doesn’t stop, and all he does is chuckle and continue. He pulls the back of my dress up and his fingers linger around my panties. “M-max”
“Yes?” His blue eyes stare into mine as his fingers slip beneath the fabric. “I don’t-”
“Spread your legs” And I obey his command, my legs shifting wider, and the sound of my shoes against the floor breaking the tranquility in the room. I feel his soft fingers glide between my folds, and a groan releases from his mouth. Max removes his fingers and grips the back of both of my thighs, hoisting me up to his body before walking forward and pushing my body against the wall.
He pulls the fabric of my dress up and he eagerly pulls my panties down, throwing them onto his massage table. His hands return back to the place they once occupied, he lifts one of my legs up and presses it against his waist. “Anyone fingered you against a wall?” He breathed into my ear and then thrust a finger into me. A long whine mixed with a moan escapes my mouth and I shake my head side to side. “Use your words”
“N-no”
“Then where did the pathetic man finger you? Just in bed? Did you only cum once-”
“Maaaxxx” I wail out his name as his fingers become more rough. “Go, tell me, and I’ll do it better more than three times.”
“I-no Max- Fuck! I-I haven’t been…” As my voice quiets the smirk on Max’s face becomes louder and he shoves another finger in me. His thumb starts circling my clit. “Oh so I’m the first one in your tight pussy.” he grits through his teeth. “I get to ruin my little virgin.” His fingers start curling inside of me and tears leave the corner of my eye.
My back arches against the wall, forcing my body into Max’s. A tight, strong feeling blooms in my stomach and I whine to Max, questioning him on this new experience. He chuckles and leans into me for a kiss, it was hard and quick, and it feels like the thing in my stomach explodes and my hands go to the back of Max’s head, pulling on his hair.
Seconds later Max breaks the kiss and I feel an emptiness when his fingers leave me. He takes a step back and stares at me, his fingers that were just inside me, now being savoured in his mouth. 
The brunette pulls his fingers out of his mouth and places both of his hands on either side of his hips. “My Schat, oh you look so good. Come here.” Only then do I realise my appearance, my hair everywhere and tears adorning my face.
My hands splayed out against the wall and chest heaving up and down in heavy motions. I take slow and small steps to Max and he starts unzipping his race suit, pulling it down to his knees. “Look at what you did to me, crying over my fingers.” I spot the bulge in his pants and I look back up at Max, still unsure of what he expects of me. “Oh come on Schat. Get on your knees.” 
“Max, I ca- I don’t-” 
“I’ll tell you, but first you need to get on your knees” I nod my head and make my way to the floor, when I’m fully on the ground I look up at him with doe eyes. “Pull down my pants” I nod again and do what he says.
His dick springs up in front of my face and my mouth nearly fall agape at his size. The feeling in my core ignites again, and then I look back up at Max. He nods at me and this time I have a clue of my next move. I grab him in my hand and my fingers barely touch as I feel his thick cock in my small hand.
“Spit on your hand and then move it up and down” I gather up saliva in my mouth and then aggressively spit on my hand and wrap it around his dick. I reenact the motions he had encouraged me to do and hear the light moans spill out of his mouth. “I-the tip” He stutters, and my thumb rubs over the tip of his dick. “Ahhh, yeah. That’s it Schat.” Max praises me and I carry on the work of my hands, my pace starts changing and I look at to Max for some more assurance.
“Use your mouth, tongue.” And then very slowly I inch my mouth toward him, my tongue licks his tip and then I start circling it. Max’s hand then entangles itself in my hair, and with force, but lightly he pushes my head down. He hits the back of my throat and a few tears pool in my eyes.
Max tilts my head up so he can look at me in the eyes an then pulls himself out and rams back in. Pressuring the tears in my eyes to finally fall and Max’s agape mouth turns into a wide smile. “That’s it.” He continues controlling the speed of my head and I get barely get used to his size, frequently gagging on him.
“I’m gonna cum” Max grits out of his teeth. His hand on the back of my head becomes rougher and adds to the speed of his hips moving toward me. And in seconds his comes shoots out and hits the back of my throat. Max pulls out and bends his head down to examine my mouth. “Fuck you’re beautiful.” He holds my chin and then nods to me as an indication that I can swallow. And after I do, he prys my mouth open and inspects it once again before giving me a quick “Good” and pulling me back up to my feet. Max grabs my body and pushes me onto the massage table. “You ready Schat?”
I nod my head nervously and he strides toward me with purpose. He lifts me up a bit and pulls my dress over my head. And I sit infront of him, basically naked, a pair of thin lace bra covering my pebbled nipples. “Take it off Schat.” He demands me, and I take it off, fully exposed to him.
Max doesn’t say anything and harshly spreads my legs. I let out a nervous whine and my eyes become damp. “Fuck” He stares at my core. “You’re so fucking wet, and oh” He looks up at my face, and his hands come to my cheeks. “Can you take me? Or is it too much?” I stutter on a reply, not having a clue to what I can handle at this moment.
As I don’t answer immediately Max pulls my legs and my whole back lays on the massage bed. I let out a squeak and he lifts my legs so my feet point to the ceiling. And as his hands grasp my legs he pushes into me in one powerful thrust.
He whispers out a few curses and then he starts moving in me. Immediately hitting the right spot and going balls deep. My hard pants tribute to the slaps of our skin. Max places one of my legs over his shoulder and he somehow reaches places I never thought were possible. He starts ramming into my sweet spot and two tears leave the corner of my eyes.
The knot in my stomach becomes more vigorous than last time and every miniscule movement Max makes, emits a sound from me. I look at his face, full of emotions I hadn’t seen him wear before. His brows furrowed and mouth lightly parted, small droplets of sweat embelllish his beautiful face. I admire him, his features and oh the way he feels in me right now. I start fluttering around his dick and I finally release with a deep wail. Max makes unpatterned thrusts and then he pulls out. His cum shoots out and bedecks my torso. “Fuck Schat, I had to hold back, but next time…” 
He steadily lowers my legs, but still keeps them wide open. The brunette kneels down and comes in eye contact with my pussy, I sit up to watch him as his tongue licks up my cum, like a man deprived from food and that’s a feast. I start writhing my body as I know this time, I can’t take more.
“Oh come on Schat” Max’s hands firmly hold my thighs down and he delves his tongue into me again. He flattens his tongue out on my clit and then goes at it again. The very faint prickles of his shaven beard scratching the insides of my thigh and adding more effect to the work of his mouth.
I beg Max to slow down, even stop but it only makes him go more feral and then my hand goes to his head and pulls on the few strands I can grasp. He starts flicking his tongue over my clit and the sensation intensifies my release. I glance down with moist eyes and watch as I squirt onto him.
I gasp in embarrassment and Max grins. He stands up and pulls my body up into a sitting position. “My beautiful princess, fucking squirted on your first time.” His hands rest on either side of my body and our foreheads lean on the other. “Let’s get you cleaned up” He murmurs on my lips and then pushes away and leaves into the bathroom merely metres away.
He walks back in with the same confidence and used a damp cloth to clean me, he wipes his cum off my chest and licks my nipples before moving down and wiping my core and legs. “Wait till I get my fourth world championship, you’re gonna squirt 4 times.”
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chalametluvrz · 1 month
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dating timothee chalamet
timothee x afab!reader (mainly gn! expect on nsfw bits)
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towards the start of the relationship, i think he'd be pretty anxious
he'd often find himself messing around with his hands a lot on dates
or stumbling over his words a little too much with a small giggle
if you've ever seen old interviews of him when he was younger. you know the ones where he gets all shy and giggly? that's exactly how i envision him to be with you
after some time, that's slowly replaced with his hyperactive ass
and let me tell you, boy never shuts the fuck up that's not a bad thing
because of his schedule, he rarely gets to see you in person
so whenever he does, he just has so much to tell you and so much to talk about that he just ends up coming out with a cluster-fuck of words
he always tries to facetime you at least a couple times a week
and let me tell you, the call will always start with him saying 'oh, i missed your pretty face' or 'seeing you has made my day'
boy is madly in love
and even though he hasn't said it yet, it's fairly obvious he's not hiding anything
he's the kind of person to want to keep your relationship on the down low
because if you're also famous, he wouldn't want to cause any issues or drama through tabloids
and if you aren't, he'd feel awful dragging you into the world of hollywood
eventually though, as most celeb relationships do, you got found out
someone caught you out on your 6 months anniversary
and that was it; twitter was going mental
timothee soon figured out that he probably had to say something
but honestly, he was kind of relieved he didn't have to hide you anymore
the morning you two woke up and saw yourselves going viral on twitter, there was a bit of a mad scramble between the two of you
before eventually, timothee chilled out
'but now i don't need to hide we're together, anymore. i can let the world know you're mine.' he'd say to your confusion at his relaxed state
cute but also now all of timmy's fans are stalking your instagram
cooking meals together!!!
i have a feeling timothee's love languages are more tailored towards physical touch and acts of service tell me im wrong
so cooking together is such a beautiful thing for him
as much as timothee loves taking you out, i think he'd much prefer to cook a fancy pasta dish together with wine over that any day
he also strikes me as a cosy movie date guy
but honestly, it more than likely turns into something else
don't fight me on his, he's a horny guy
like bro would get a hard-on just snuggling with you
when you first started dating, he'd get all shy about it
he'd apologise frantically and his face would be redder than ever
after dating for some time, he'd be less phased
unless you showed and expressed discomfort with it of course
after the shock of you dating slowly weaved out of the fans
timothee would definitely start posting you on his instagram
he just needed the world to know how obsessed he is with you
arguments are rare
extremely rare
they usually only happen when timothee is stressed
feelings get heated and you end up making some snippy comments at each other before one of you gets up and leaves the room
after you've both had time to cool down, you're both mature enough to talk it out and apologise for whatever each of you or one of you has done
communication is a big thing for timmy, so i think arguments are heavily avoided because he encourages you to come to him about anything
any concerns, rants and problems you have, he wants to know
he's a flirter, let me tell you that thankfully not with others
always dazzling you with compliments
you're in the crowd at a press tour? he's staring, smirking and winking at you the whole time
you're supporting him whilst he's on set? the man can't take his eyes off you and is coming to hold you the second the shot is taken
you're on facetime? every odd sentence is him saying some suggestive comment or simply how stunning you are
the man cannot get enough of you
going back to the horny thing...
he has a high sex drive
there's absolutely no doubt about it
he is a giver!!! the man aims to please!!!
could eat you out for days
i've already made a headcanon about him eating you out so i will be brief BUT!!!
he's messy!!! the wetter the better!!!
will overstimulate you with hid tongue any day
and then make sure you cum on his cock as well
you know what they say about tall, skinny boys? wink wink
i'd say he's a good 7 inches, 7 1/2 at a push
he knows how to please you, and he's eager to learn what makes you tick
even though he's mainly a dom, i can see him being a sub at times
only on rare assurances though
being his date to things like the met gala, oscars etc
after being open about your relationship, he couldn't wait to take you everywhere and anywhere with him
loves it when you wear his clothes
but i feel like all boys do?
especially when he's away, opening up a facetime call to see you sat there in one of his t-shirts. he actually thinks his heart might implode.
this boy will actually love you with his whole heart
the cutest, softest and proudest boyfriend around fr
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hauntingblue · 22 hours
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I cant believe I am already on fem law... this happened like 2 days ago I cannot do it....
#nami saying luffy's dream is so fitting to him... she gets him she does...#the citizens are too kind... 'admit your fault' 'if you had treated us more nicely' come on pull out the guillotines#they are about to erradicate lulusia???? omg goodbye sabo.... omg inu has the nuclear codes devil fruit#sabo hope to god you made use of that logia fruit because jesus#omg the mid ad scenes are of luffy jumping to hug his crew.... i could cry#also if they have this power why even use the buster call.... the buster call is like a warning to other islands i guess but this....#reserved for ultra secret world government bussiness i guess... also you might appreciate the letters bf on frankys coat#thats because he is boyfriend material hope this helps#robin and chopper just chilling inside... chopper has one of tamas hats omg....#luffy is like yeah i might be flying off too but we are flying off together <3 also hello bonney not gonna lie i knew you were coming#omg the end credits... and Robin info dump???? quick recap of the past 500 chapters lmao#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1089#OMG SUNNY DOWN??? tashigi and tbe children omg... g-14?? also koby collecting blonde partners ajsgaauab#OMG MECHAS ON THE SEAS not gonna comment on bonney we all know what i think. jail.#episode 1090#vegapunk needing funding akdhaksjsks.... so real.... the world government needs to fund the science department#the dumb loud ones are bait akdhaksbaksjak zoro and robin for the win....#bonney luffy and chopper what a trio akdhaksj#the episodes are now 18 minutes. one piece the time i have with you is limited... i am about to ration episodes like they're food in a war#so the seraphim are from sword or vegapunk???? and what does the cp0 want with vegapunk also luccis beard???#'you guys are about to blow up!' 'i have always been like this' JINBE!!!! AJSHAKAJA perreciclador.... incredible name omg#'my job is to be violent' aksjak i was thinking that vegapunks personalities are split in between the six and yeah looks like it#fucking blackbeard again.... DIEEEEEE!!! LAW KICK HIS ASS!!!!i cannot do it with the short episodes i cant.... i cant live like this....#episode 1092#the episode is called the winner takes it all.... sick abba reference. god... omg having leaks already.... BUT WHY IS THIS HAPPENING#law transitioned into a man by brute haki force ajdhajsjsjsj feminization sickness 💀💀💀 someone get on ao3....#SHACHI CAN DO THAT???? AND PENGUIN???? IS THAT PUDDING???? And fucking kuzan...... I still dont understand why he is with them...#episode 1091
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dittolicous · 2 months
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re: volo appearing in every legends game regardless of in-game importance can go a couple different directions
hitchhikers guide to legends you shouldn't know - weird traveler man who knows just a bit too much about local regional legends and is a little too coy yet never strays far from the side lines
dramatic heros tale cracks the egg - in each game he gradually becomes both more heroic, aiding the protag overtime, and softens, his final appearance ending with him commenting on changing his name to signify him changing his ways - why 'cynthia' has a nice ring doesnt it?
always the bridesmaid never the bride - he keeps trying to team up with legendary pokemon all across the world - with varying levels of villiany involved - and almost succeeds UNTIL SOME PIMPLY FACE PRETEEN FUCKING KICKS HIS ASS AND BEFRIENDS LOCAL GOD IN 3 MINUTES FLAT. EVERY GODDAMN TIME.
cant an immortal man get a break - hes kind of over all that legands drama and keeps hoping to find a nice peaceful retirement home.... but the fucking gods cant chill out for five damn minutes and of course some idiot local has to piss them off - oh fuck him another teen girl just fell out of the sky-
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