Thinking about “trans women/fems never pass while trans men/mascs pass fine, they just get carded all the time” sentiments and just. It’s so weird to acknowledge that we frequently look way younger than we are but act like that doesn’t have anything to do with how hard it is for us to pass. Lou Sullivan’s chapter about passing is called “How to Look 30 When You’re 30.” I’ve noticed myself getting misgendered more instead of less now that I dress in professional men’s clothes instead of more androgynous casual clothes — I’m more believable as a very butch woman than a guy who in work clothes who looks 14. Yeah I’ve gotten perceived as a slightly fem teenage boy. But I also get perceived as a very gnc woman. It just depends on context; if any of it indicates I’m an adult it’s really, really hard for me to pass as a 5’0 trans guy with an androgynous voice and asian/baby face.
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the other day my dad was showing me how to do this thing for an account and because hes incapable of not being a huge bag of dicks all the time he was all like oh im doing this for you because you cant and ur useless and stuff (it was incredibly simple, i wouldve figured it out in like two minutes. i didnt even ask him to do it, he just told me "im doing this" and when i said i would just do it myself he said no) and i was mad at him for being a bitch but i cant say im mad or do anything or he gets mad, but you will not believe the satisfaction i felt today after being able to do an IT thing for my mum that he couldnt, at least i get this, fuck you and eat shit old man, whos useless now?
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Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -
Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.
And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.
And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.
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last belated tag game, i promise
tagged by @dilfbuck and @opaleyedprince and @strixhaven! thank you!!
URL Song Game:
W — World So Cold - Fire From The Gods [YT, flash warning]
R — Rule #13 Waterfall - Fish in a Birdcage [YT]
I — iGhost - MNQN [YT]
G — Grapes - James Marriott [YT]
H — Hexie Mountains - Orville Peck [YT]
T — The Tower - Drama Moth [YT]
P — Please, Just Breathe - Written by Wolves [YT, flash warning]
H — His Hands - Blegh [YT]
O — OUROBOROS - Former Vandal [YT]
E — Everglow - Starset [YT]
N — Not Yet / Love Run (Reprise) - The Amazing Devil [YT]
I — I Want to Live - Borislav Slavov [YT]
X — XO - EDEN [YT]
6 Songs on Repeat:
Masterpiece Theatre III - Marianas Trench [YT]
So Much (For) Stardust - Fall Out Boy [YT]
Cold Reactor - Everything Everything [YT]
Long Time Friends - The Living Tombstone [YT]
成歩堂龍一 ~異議あり! 2001 - Masakazu Sugimori [YT]
逆転裁判3 〜スペシャルブレンドミックス - Capcom Sound Team [YT]
tagging: @woohooincoffin @spiderslyre @notmeowse @thesem @vanoefucks
(sorry if i tagged anyone who already did it, also feel free to ignore or only do one of these!)
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