#man. yeouch

[sapsolais]

-

[punnkishlen]

staying up so late to focus on a project that you're practically falling asleep while you code, eyes fluttering and burning from the bright screen in your face - and you're pulled out of the focus by your little robot.

it's almost a relief, seeing their face after focusing for so long, but the relief is short-lived.

hey, when did they get you to sit on their lap?

you go to turn around, at least to face them, until you can feel it.

the fucking attachment you made for them a week ago. the cock they begged so hard for, mechanical eyes flitting between every finger twitch as you put it together. the cock now nestled so perfectly in you.

you aren't processing it properly as they say something to you - something about how you'll get more if you finish your work. it's supposed to be your motivation tonight, to get to your goal and relax properly after. what you *can* process is the small motors running. it's easy to forget about a feature *you* were adding to it until it's in you, isn't it?

soon enough, your eyes go to the computer screen once more, and you're back to work. struggling, obviously. every so often, you can feel those little motors move just a bit more. of course you made it into a vibrator - it was a good idea at the time!

but that was before. now, is when your own creation has the advantage. it's getting harder and harder to actually focus, easier to let your eyes close, and just.. feel it. just for a second.

it's not your fault the pc was turned off! the power button was probably nudged when the warming turned into pounding, but that's only a possibility! and it's not your fault that you missed the deadline! your own creation fucked you stupid! how can that be your fault?

(writing this instead of doing my finals)

[spineless-lobster]

Don’t mind me just thinking about elpenor again

[atlantis-just-drowned]

It have always been the men with the sluttiest waists I'm so sorry about it

[gemharvest]

BF figure sitting perched on the collar of my shirt but he still fucking Stank goddamn

[oliviaissocool]

my tummy hurts 🙁

[boneykravitz]

some pics of the Big Boy Fat Bastard (tm) bc i miss him and i am barely coping

[runa-falls]

I saw that you think Miguel is a thigh man 😩 can I request him x reader who's thighs clap when they run or so some type of activities. I got that problem sadly 😵‍💫😮‍💨

yes, of course!! i love talking ab our thigh fucker ;^)

cw: body insecurities, thigh chafing (yeouch), fluffy reassurances, small bit of smut (OK IM SORRY 😳 i didn't see that coming [yes i did.]), just oral and uh, a bit of marking, not proof read!!

---

you've never enjoyed prolonged physical activity: running, swimming, biking, etc, because you hated the way your thighs would slide against each other; uncomfortably chafing your skin and making noticeable sounds.

so when miguel proposed a hike for your weekly date, you were hesitant to agree. unfortunately, he's very good at persuading you...

that's how you found yourself on a narrow trial shrouded with trees, taking slow, cautious steps as you attempt to keep your thighs from touching as much as usual.

of course, it only helped so much. your inner thighs were still chafing and getting sore, but you try to conceal your pain as much as possible, too embarrassed to mention anything to miguel.

though your boyfriend is the most loving and accepting man you've ever met, you still haven't told him of your insecurity. you're afraid that once you mention something to him, he'll notice your thighs even more.

miguel is pacing himself, making sure to slow down with you so he doesn't leave you behind (he does this hike all the time). he adjusts his baseball cap, making sure his wild curls are smooshed down as he watches you walk toward him.

you look beautiful today. you always look beautiful. but there's something about see you in this condition that make him twitch in his shorts.

he loves the way your chest heaves as you take deep breaths, your tits pressing desperately against the thin fabric. how droplets of sweat roll over the contours of your cleavage, outlining what he wants to see the most. and how your leggings look like they were painted on, completely revealing the overwhelming softness of your thighs and how they press so sweetly together.

he can barely take his eyes off of you.

but he can't help but notice how odd you're acting too.

he's perplexed as to why you're taking such big steps and moving like you'd rather be anywhere but there, with him. why your face is tense, yet completely blank at the same time.

there's clearly something wrong, but you've been silent this whole hike.

"baby, you doing alright?" you seem to be lost in your thoughts as you stare down at your dirt-scuffed sneakers, you don't even notice he's stopped in front of you. he calls out to you again, "babe?"

"hm?" you look up, pausing your unnatural movements to give your legs a rest, "oh, yeah...i'm fine" you attempt a smile, but even you can tell it looks fake and performative. his eyes bloom with concern as he notices how your legs are shaking under you.

"what's going on, sweetheart? are you hurt?"

"no...it's just," you look away, still apprehensive to mention anything.

he pushes, hand reaching for yours, "just what?"

"i-my thighs are chafing..." you say softly, looking back at him. he's frowning. "b-but i can keep going!" you start walking again, willing yourself to continue even though it hurts.

"baby, wait," he stops you, "don't hurt yourself. i didn't realize you were having trouble this whole time."

you shrug, "it's ok, i'm used to it."

"sweetheart, come here." he has his back turned towards you, coaxing you over to him. "get on."

"get on?"

"i'll carry you back to the car."

"no! you don't have to--"

"i want to." he interrupts, "then when we get home, we'll take a nice bath and get you all patched up."

"what about the rest of the trail?"

"we can just get our work out in at home..."

---

you sigh as warm water washes over the inflamed skin of your inner thighs. it stings sharply, but the pain feels oddly satisfying, especially as miguel thoroughly lathers shampoo in your hair.

"feel better?"

you hum, eyes closing as his fingers attentively massage your scalp.

"why didn't you tell me that you were hurting earlier?"

"i dunno, it just wasn't that big of a deal, mig."

"it was. you were barely able to sit without your hands between your thighs."

you snort, "i thought you liked it when i do that."

you yelp when you feel him tug sharply at your hair. "you know what i meant." he growled, clearly unhappy you're trying to avoid the subject.

"it's embarrassing."

"what's embarrassing?" his hands start to cup water onto your head, washing the suds from your hair until you're squeaky clean.

"my thighs." his movements stop suddenly.

"what about them?"

"they're...too big."

"too big?" he genuinely sounds baffled, almost scoffing in disbelief.

"yeah, they're always touching and they make this...clapping sound when i do certain physical movements..."

"so?"

"so?" you turn your head to look at him, questioning eyes meeting his scarlet stare. his red irises are mere slivers with how blown out his pupils are, heavy with lust.

"yeah, so what?"

"so...i don't like them." you voice is small as you look at him shyly, cheeks blooming with heat under the stringiness of your wet hair.

"well i love them."

---

miguel presses gentle and sweet kisses over your tender skin, relieving all the pain from your chafed inner thighs with just a touch of his lips. your legs are hooked over his shoulders as he makes his way up your body.

the prominent shape of his fangs press against his top lip as his sharp maroon stare fixes right at the apex of your thighs. you can tell he's holding himself back by the way his fingers grip bruises into the tops of your legs.

"baby, you have no idea," he takes a deep breath, eyes closed as his nose nuzzles at your inner thigh, "how fucking perfect you are."

"mig, please!"

he smiles cloyingly, letting you watch his fangs retract before he dips his head closer to your center. he wouldn't want to hurt you...

he locks eyes with you when he experimentally slips his tongue through your soaking lips, only giving you enough attention to keep you buzzing. he's delicately laving against you, feeling you tense and pant under him as he slowly builds up your pleasure.

a haze of lust instantly clouds over his darkened eyes and you watch as he gets lost in the taste of you. he pushes in deeper, tongue fucking you, slurping and sucking, while spilling muffled groans over your pulsing cunt as your thighs begin to tighten around him.

he flicks over your aching clit, drinking in your whimpers, moans, and cries as he teases you, pulling back every so often until you bury your hand into his curls and force him down onto you.

you're nearly suffocating him with your thighs when he start suckling you into his mouth, muscles trembling against him as you grow closer to the edge, and he loves it.

his silky lips and slick tongue push you straight off the edge. you hold on to him as your body writhes with white hot pleasure, hand in his hair and thighs around his head. you can barely hear the muffled groans he makes from how lost in ecstasy you are.

but he groans, and grunts, and then freezes.

"did i just..." he unwraps your legs from around him and sits up, tugging his briefs down in disbelief. your bleary eyes open, eyes glazed and unfocused from the intensity of your orgasm. "shit."

you look down and are graced with a beautiful mess that drips from his cock and the black fabric of his boxers.

you can't help the amused smile that spreads over your lips, "you need some help cleaning that up?"

[catiuskaa]

your type

SUMMARY: It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, because, Jeongin’s been working in that cafe long enough to notice as soon as you walked in: he knows your type.

WC: 1.5k

CW: silly kind of enemies2lovers, except ‘enemies’ is just Jeongin being dramatic for a bit. It’s fluffy but also a smol tiny bit suggestive too tho. (reader being really hot kinda deal) teehee. (Also, heads up for fem!reader.)

[🔅☆☕️☆🔅]

God, no.

He clenched his fists under the counter, his eyes glued to your figure.

Jeongin shrieked in his place. No way. Why him? He groaned lowly, blinking slowly, trying to process and calm down beforehand, yet he still squinted towards the small bell above the coffee shop’s door, almost as if he could’ve blamed it for the impending dread horror he was about to face.

The smell of toasted coffee beans was almost not strong enough to cover that of your perfume as said bell announced your entrance, and it was then when he knew. Jeongin had covered enough morning shifts and worked several —if not more— evening shifts to know your type.

Pretty.

Disgustingly pretty.

So, so pretty.

Pretty hair, pretty legs, pretty nails, pretty, pretty, pretty. He held back the need to roll his eyes, your tone of voice still able to make itself heard even if the slightly crowded coffee shop was brimming with many other conversations, there it be the small child that blabbered to herself, giggling as she played with some small cars her mother had given her, or said woman, who also played with the colourful toys from time to time, while managing something on her laptop. Jeongin liked her very much. She tipped nicely.

Still, he couldn’t help but grimmace when he noticed your frown as you approached the counter, phone in hand, glued to your ear. Now, could it be that he was maybe being a bit too dramatic? Well, why, of course. His shared shifts were with Hyunjin, after all. Who, to make matters worse, was running late. Again.

“No. And I’m hanging up.” You stated towards whoever was unlucky enough to be at the other end of the call. “No- Jisung, kindly, I don’t give a fuck. If the big man says he’s not gonna pay me, I ain’t doing nothing. I am not some goody-two-shoes he can mess with.”

Your hushed voice still had the classic tone of anger he was familiar with. But Jeongin’s gaze towards you changed, almost reluctantly so, had anyone asked him. He had to hold back his eyebrows from shotting up when even if you were scoffing, still on the phone, arguing with that Jisung man on the other side, you still smiled widely at him, a grin that, had it been somewhere else, it would’ve certainly got you his attention.

But, he had to remain focused. To think, use the head that’s above your shoulders, Jeongin, he told himself. He couldn’t get sidetracked, or else you’d catch him in your spell.

Which wasn’t going to happen, because he knew your type.

Or so he thought.

He noticed an elderly woman waiting behind you, who was obviously not ready to place an order. Ah, there it was. Now you were finally going to turn off that charming attraction of yours, by—

“Oh, please,” You muttered lowly to the woman, a kind, adorable, toothy grin as you moved away from the queue. “I’ll be fine, really.”

Jeongin’s eyes trailed to you as he prepared the brownie the woman had asked for. He couldn’t believe his eyes when you smiled at him, —ouch—, a grin weirdly apologetic, which took him by surprise as you tucked a troublesome strand of your bangs behind your ear repeatedly. Disgustingly cute —yeouch— and without causing a total connundrum over nothing.

Ok. Sure. Yeah. That was totally out of character. But, no, Jeongin didn’t mind. Not at all. Definetely not. Not if you kept smiling at him like that.

“Listen, Ji." Jeongin almost flinched. He felt so lucky for not being the one being scolded by you. "The album is awesome, dude, but I ain’t touching it without being paid. We’re friends, and I love you to death, but if you call me again to make me work without a contract, I am killing you.”

Oh. Well. Jeongin may have not blushed due to your words, but certainly blushed at the way you smiled at him —again, not helpful with his situation—, but also the way you passed a hand through your hair. Ah, fuck.

He had been caught in your spell, hadn’t he?

No. No, no, no. He cursed in his head. Sure, femenine rage was hot. You were hot. Very. But, by all means, this wasn’t something he could indulge in, because—

“Um.” You snickered. “Sorry I was on the phone. Can I… er… may I order now?”

Because… um… what was the reason again?

“O-of course.” He heard himself speak, his voice sounding strange, as if it hadn’t came out of his mouth. He smiled, a bit awkwardly, indeed, but a smile nontheless. It got better when you matched it, chuckling lowly.

“It’s fine. Really. Sorry, again. I can see you’re busy, so by all means take your time.” You grinned, a smile with matching levels of innocence and cheekiness. Damn, he was already that down bad? “Could I have an espresso machiato?”

Espresso. Espresso. Not only you pronounced it right, which made the small barista inside him started to glow and shake Jeongin’s heart, that had started to beat like crazy, but the mere sound of your voice had the young man whipped.

“You're fine." Very fine indeed. "No worries at all." He nodded politely, feeling his cheeks grow red.

He started to note the order on the machine in front of him. Easy enough thing to do. Just tap here, there and… eh… um…

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He muttered, frowning.

“I, uh, is everything the matter?” You blinked, your expression showcasing a small yet sincere amount of worry.

So odd. So out of character. So, so, so cute, his heart screamed.

“This machine is just the worst.” He gulped apologetically. “Does whatever it wants, really.”

A line started to form behind you, and Jeongin panicked. Why him? Fuck, shit, fuck. That was it. Jeongin was so getting fired after this—

“Do you mind if I step in?”

Jeongin’s eyes almost got lost in yours as his gaze locked on you.

“I don’t think I can…”

“I’ll wait for my coffe, and I’ll fix your machine. Promise. I know how these work.”

The head above your shoulders, Jeongin.

"I think Hyun- um, my coworker knows how to fix it. He should be here in no time..."

"Oh, please. Just let the girl fix it." A customer groaned behind you.

"Actually, I'm still in the wrong. Don't push it, sir." You argued with a smile, shocking both the man and Jeongin, who now saw a sort of halo surrounding your figure.

“I, uh… good luck, I guess.” He sighed, shrugging and letting you behind the counter.

Oh, he was so getting fired. Letting a client step in behind the counter? Nevermind how good she smelled, how cute and hot she looked or how pretty her smile was. You rolled up your sleeves, and he almost thought he had seen traces of ink. Oh boy. He was going to get in so much trouble, in about two sec—

The machine dinged funnily, and you smiled.

“Fixed!” You sighed cheekily. “A reboot and a shake still works just fine.” Jeongin blinked, puzzled. “Guess I gotta speak with Chan and Hyunjin.” You giggled. “Thought I had taught them better.”

...

“H-huh?”

Your smile got bigger, as you chuckled again.

Oh.

Dimples.

“Didn’t they tell you?” You smiled again, taking a hair clip from your purse, swiftly tying your hair up. “I opened the cafe with them a bunch of years ago. Chan owned the building, Hyunjin had the style, and I was the coffee enthusiast.” The way you beamed had him hooked.

The both of you seamlessly got to work together, making coffes and taking orders and serving. It wasn't rush hour, by any means, so Jeongin quickly started up your order, apologizing lightly, a blush on his face.

"I really appreciate it, though." He grinned sheepishly. "Here you go, noona."

You tried to get out your wallet, but jeongin's body worked faster than his head, only able to settle his hand over yours.

It was as if a shiver overwhelmed his whole body just because of that simple touch. A system reboot.

"It's on the house." he smiled, trying to play it off and calm the fuck down. "You saved me back there. I owe you that much."

Then the bell rang again.

"Hey, Innie, sorry I was late, I was walking my fish..." Hyunjin blabbered nonchalantly, unbothered, looking at his phone until he got behind the counter. He stared at you, then smiled widely. "Noona!"

Surprisingly to Jeongin, you didn't match his welcoming. Instead you scoffed. "No. I have to walk my fish, you see." You clicked your tongue, and Jeongin couldn't help but laugh at his mate. "Actually, I think you're fine on your own for the rest of the shift. We'll go watch your fish."

Jeongin had been too busy laughing to mentally prepare, and blushed furiously when you grabbed and linked your hand with his, giddily taking him to one of the free tables.

"I don't think I should go walk fishes still in my shift." Jeongin joked lightly, still flustered.

Your hand left his, and strangely to him, the action felt almost reluctant.

"Maybe we can chat over some coffee, then?"

Jeongin smiled.

"I'd love that."

He thought he had known your type, almost as gorgeous as annoying. Which didn't came as a surprise was how happy he was to be wrong.

[🔅☆☕️☆🔅]

kats, who has to confess she hates coffee with a passion.

catiuskaa, july 2024 ©

[justgrey]

Hello! I’d like to request the mercenaries with a fem mercenary reader who is a shapeshifter and has a pretty chaotic personality? Basically Nimona from the movie Nimona lol

Watched the movie finally, and now I'm gay for ballister. Thanks for that xoxo. be on the lookout for something on him because i want to chew him and hit him like a tennis ball

Also, it's safe to say I got a little stupid with this one 💀

Mercs with a chaotic! reader

Warnings : swearing, light mentions of gore, talk of body parts, medic.

CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS *jevil laughter*

Probably get along really well with Pyro and Scout not gonna lie because Pyro likes to burn shit (Even though I'm pretty sure they think they're spreading joy and colour) and Scout is pretty hyper in general, willing to go along with anything as long as it's fun.

*burns down barn*

"huddah huh huu hud."

"Yeah, loving the colour too, pally. Really makes the wood boom." *evil chuckles*

As soon as Pyro learns about your shapeshifting ability, they're all over you. They want you to play 3 different characters at their tea parties simultaneously and transform into a unicorn so that they can ride you into battle and fulfill their wildest dreams

"Hud hudda hu hubuh huuuuh HUDDAH!!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" *transforms into a unicorn* "Get on."

*excited hu noises*

"HUDDAHHHH!!"

Besties 💗🌈🔥✨️

Some of the older and quieter mercenaries are NOT gonna be having a field day with you and your silly little personality.

Sniper hates it THE MOST. He doesn't like people that much in general and can barely keep up with the hyperactive chaos that is you, so he mainly sticks to watching you burn shit down from afar.

"Did'ya really have ta' do that much?"

"Yeah. Why, you not liking it, pissboy?"

"..."

"That's what I thought. Don't be a hero, buddy."

Although he doesn't appreciate your snarky attitude, he likes how you can shapeshift. He really likes animals and will sometimes scope in on you when you transform, nodding with approval and whispering a little, "cool" that he hopes nobody hears.

Spy thinks you're a nuisance around the base but definitely sees the usefulness in your shapeshifting abilities since he kinda almost does the same damn thing, just with his goofy masks. He respects you for that, if anything, at all.

Do not ever expect to replace him or get remotely close to him in espionage, though. If you are at the same level as Nimona, you're not great at directly impersonating humans, and he will tease you about it.

"What was that, today?

"What was what?"

"The 'Oh Mon deu! Ack! Oohh! I dropped my baguette' if that was meant to be an impersonation of me, know that it was terrible, and my lawyer will be contacting you."

"I dunno, I think it was pretty accurate." *shrug*

Medic loves you. Sorry, not sorry. Loves you. Does get tired of you sometimes, but not all the time. He's generally also very *bzzz bzzz chaos organs* so he's happy to indulge in whatever you want to do which usually involves the absolute destruction of everything.

Medic is also incredibly fascinated by your shapeshifting ability. Do not sleep around this man while shape shifted because he's poking and prodding everywhere while you're out.

"Ohoho... how peculiar" *pokes open nerve*

"YEOUCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

*nervous chuckle as he hides a bucket of blood and from your view*

Engineer tries to be that guiding light he thinks you need. He's a friend, a father figure, a colleague, whatever you need. He's a nice Southern gentleman with a slightly insane twist. Encourages you to be careful around the others, but if you aren't, he's not complaining. Makes the job easier if everyone listens.

Heavy is pretty chill with you. He's neither annoyed nor pleased that you're around. He relatively keeps to himself, medic, and his guns.

Actually, do not touch his gun. Do not pretend to be his gun either.

Soldier and Demo like your charisma. You can be a pretty fun drinking partner for demo, and a nice soldier when you're willing to follow orders (which isn't usually) but as long as you get the job done with as much destruction as possible, Soldier is saluting you almost as much as he does the American flag that is hanging next to his bed.

"ANOTHER GREAT DAY, TODAY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND I MIGHT RAISE YOUR STATUS, CADET!"

"SIR YES SIR! or something I dunno, fuck this is weird..."

*walks with soldier, ignoring the screams of the dammed behind you*

He makes you transform into an eagle and has you sit there on his arm for a while, admiring you fly. It's brought him close to tears on many occasions.

Whenever he gets married to Heavy's sister, Soldier is making sure that you are THERE as an Eagle. He'll pay you to fly across the sky and make majestic bird noises.

Overall, some very mixed experiences. But a fun concept either way.

[novasintheroom]

Just some thoughts I wanted to share with someone, but I feel like Barista Vash has a fifty fifty shot of being a nightmare or a blessing to work on shift with. 

This all depends on what he's tasked with. Cashier? You better be thanking the man, because you bet his smile and friendly attitude has people eagerly handing in tips. These tips coming from doting mothers or grandmothers who think he reminds them of their child/grandchild, or people who melt under his warm voice asking "Will that be all? :)". Vash has definitely has gotten shy or confident slides of pieces of paper with people's socials or phone numbers. He takes the time to give them a quick polite message letting them down easy. Back to cashier duties, the man is smart (as much as some of us tend to forget sometimes). Calculations for change are easy, and tech issues with the machine in general are simple fixes for him. Great employee overall, coworkers love him for his clear and loud voice for orders, along with the added bonus of big tips at the end of the day for everyone. 

Vash is the one making the drinks?....Can't he run the register today?....No? You better pray. See, Vash isn't bad at making drinks. Not at all actually, everything he makes is delicious, and it's made in a timely manner. It's just...There are times where he might not be. You can not tell me Vash has never slipped and fell while the floors are wet, or burned his hands several times on a coffee rush. He lets out a cartoonish YEOUCH, or whimper that has a few patrons looking his way, whenever he does. Definitely hums while he makes drinks on a slow days, maybe a little twirl or hip bump while he closes the fridge. Vash has definitely has an embarrassing moment or two, where it's a slow day, he takes the opportunity to eat the last delicious cranberry pastry...only for a customer to come up and ask for said pastry while his cheeks are full. Even with his slip ups, his coworkers are silently grateful when he's working during a sudden rush. The man can concentrate and get drinks out fast with precision, and is on top of making sure that there are enough items for drinks. You won't ever feel like you need to break down and cry, while making a drink, because you ran out of oat milk. 

Now leading back to Vash's admirers, he may have plenty of them. But he only has eyes for one person. If you're a regular, the days he knows you'll be coming in, the man is on fire. On top of everything, bright smiles that never falter, he is ready for you. Which may lead to him being exhausted by the time you arrive. Once, you hadn't arrived yet and he took his break, only for someone else to take your order and make it....He didn't show it, but Vash was depressed for the rest of the day. Lingering glances and wiping down a counter that was already spotless while you were enjoying your drink. If you ever come with someone, he might take the bold risk to ask "Oh and who's this? :)" during your small chat as you order. Just in case, he just wants to be safe. His fear is for your answer to someday be along the lines of, "This is my partner!". Regardless of his fear, he's slow to make any moves. One, he's working. Not the most romantic place to flirt if he's trying to make drinks for a mother and daughter waiting on their chai lattes. Two....you can't really tell when he does flirt? He's always friendly and warm to all customers. Plus if you confront him on the one liners or doodles on your drink, he (stupidly) dismisses it with a "I just had time :)" or excuses it as a way to cheer you up on a rough day. It might be....a while before he makes a real move, so maybe you should start thinking about ways to take the first step?

Aw I love this anon! Barista Vash is such a cute AU idea!! I would personally take SUCH a long time to get up the guts to ask him out, bc 1-he's working, and I'd assume he's happy and kind with EVERYONE and 2-I'm shy as all heck.

I hope everyone enjoys this!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!<33

[coinsundercouches]

“you believe me like a god, i’ll destroy you like a man”

adam’s death 🌕👁️🦢

“i’m your man” by mitski is so them…. yeOuch xx

[archived-organ-brackets]

WORST ORGAN BRACKET FINALS - UTERUS vs APPENDIX

This is the final poll! If you want to see the propaganda for the other entrants, please check the #pollpropaganda tag. As this is the final, I'll be putting all available propaganda into the poll. And now, without further ado, the finalists:

The UTERUS is a reproductive organ located in the lower abdomen, around the pelvis. Its main purpose is to hold a developing fetus during pregnancy; it also secretes some hormones.

Prominent diseases of the uterus include endometriosis, cancer, adenomyosis, and prolapse.

Propaganda:

“…for storing babies and hurting … ouchy ouchy ouchy :(”

“ow yeouch owie!!! … Come on. It’s CLEARLY the worst”

“only 2 other species menstrate. Everyone else just reabsorbs the blood. Instead we now loose nutrients and attract predators”

“bleeds, cramps, hurts, and generally is the cause of discomfort for many of those who are in possession of one, particularly if they would rather not be reminded of its existence.”

“It causes pain monthly, can have cysts, growths in places growths should lot be, and all round makes life miserable. but also makes babies, which may or may not be a plus.”

“ENDOMETRIOSIS”

“This organ hurts me for a week every month. And gives me dysphoria so therefore it is transphobic and homophobic.”

“It’s the only human organ that regularly hurts without any sickness or injury going on. … The current workings of the uterus prove God is either non-existent, stupid, weak or malevolent.”

“It’s the one that bleeds for no reason. … Ancient people explained the way uterus functions as God hating women. I’d like to add that he’s also transphobic.”

“THE FUCKER THAT BLEEDS EVERY GODDAMN MONTH … IT FUCKING BLEEDS. EVERY DAMN MONTH. AND ON TOP OF THAT IT(OR MAYBE WHATEVERS CONNECTED TO IT) SENDS OUT WEIRD ASS HORMONES ALONG WITH THE BLEEDING. IT’S PAINFUL AS HELL AND MAKES ME FUCKING SAD WITH THOSE DAMN HORMONES. 'IM HERE TO MAKE BABIES'FUCK OFF. i do not want babies inside of me. have you even considered that. sure some people do want babies in there. not me. did you even ask me for consent before existing in MY BODY HUH? … only around half the population has this organ. the other fuckers should consider themselves luCKY to not have it. anyway i apologise for my excessive swearing i just hate periods”

The APPENDIX is a protruding section of the gut, appended to the small intestine and located in the lower right part of the abdomen. It is generally accepted to play an immunological role and house beneficial gut bacteria.

The most prominent disease of the appendix is appendicitis, which is described below.

Propaganda:

“It can suddenly get infected or straight up explode, which is fatal if not treated”

“it can randomly get infected and explode and kill you”

“Appendicitis”

“man it doesn’t do shit except explode. it might have used to help us process fruits and nuts though … it just doesn’t do shit except explode sometimes”

“…it doesn’t do jack shit … useless motherfucker. also it looks like a dick.”

“does nothing … useless bastard that fucks you up, no one asked for you you little bitch”

POLL RUNNER’S NOTE: Most information on the function of the appendix dates to the 21st century, and thus has changed recently and may change again.

[gemharvest]

I wanna play Pico mix Ugh so bad but I just tried it again and even tho I got it up to an excellent, my god I cannot read the notes for shit for some reason everything in it feels too Bright.

[thelampisaflashlight]

Calm Me Down

[A little bonus ficlet about where Lamb went after their encounter with Rain. Feat. Copia and Special.] Below the cut.

"Ah, Agnello, I was wondering when you would be back." Copia smiles as Lamb shuffles through the door to his office, frowning when he sees the tear tracks running down their cheeks, "Oh, Angello... Come here, come to Papa."

He holds his hands out for the ghoul, who wanders over and climbs onto his lap without hesitation, making themself as small as possible, tail tucked round them protectively.

Copia rubs their back.

"Did you get frightened by something, little one, huh?" he asks, "Or maybe you're just tired, yes? A late night will do that to you..."

Lamb chirps in response.

"Is that it? You're tired?" Copia hums, "Or is it because you bit Rain earlier, huh?"

Lamb tenses, but Copia pats them gently.

"You're not in trouble, and I know Rain told you as much." he says, "The siblings were just worried about you, for you really... Can you tell me what happened? Why you bit him?"

"...Didn't know he was there." Lamb mumbles into Copia's lapel, squishing down even more into themself.

"Ahh..." the older man nods, "You were sleeping, it's only natural you didn't know."

"...Bad..." Lamb says, "Bad, bad, bad."

"Not bad." he assures them, "Why would you think..."

"...Dangerous." they whine, "Sleep."

Copia repeats the words Lamb has said and gives them a little squeeze, "It's different here."

"It's different here." he says, "No one will get hurt or go away because you went to sleep. No one will hurt you either..."

"Papa..."

"Yes?"

"The papa before..."

"Agnello..." Copia closes his eyes, "That was not your fault."

"Omega..."

"Knows you weren't involved. He never blamed you."

"Was asleep..." Lamb whimpers, "Shouldn't sleep... Scary..."

"It's alright." Copia shushes them, reaching into one of his desk drawers, shuffling through the junk crammed inside until he finds his phone...

"It's alright."

...and calls someone more suited to comforting the poor traumatized ghoul in his arms.

.

.

.

"You know, you call me to your office so little, people are starting to speculate that we might be the same person." Special teases, "I'm obviously more handsome, but I digress... Well, give."

He does grabby hands towards Lamb, who is still very much curled up in Papa's lap.

The man sighs and shifts slightly to allow Special to pick up the little ghoul, who whines at the loss of contact, but calms almost instantly when Special nuzzles the top of their head.

"...How bad is it?" the older ghoul asks, adjusting his hold on Lamb.

"Terzo." Papa supplies, and Special nods gravely.

"Very bad then." he says, pausing when Lamb whimpers, "Not you. You're not bad. You're in a bad state, but not bad."

"They bit Rain."

"Ooohhh~ Naughty." Special cackles, "Ehn, those band ghouls can take a couple nibbles now and then. They don't fight nearly enough."

"And you do?" Papa questions, raising an eyebrow, assessing the string bean of a ghoul standing before him.

"Why fight my battles for myself when I have Cowbell?" he quips, "I'm Work smarter not harder, yes? Anyway, I'll be taking this little sheep with me."

"Make sure they sleep!" Papa calls as Special kicks the door shut behind himself, "Satanas..."

Special hums and adjusts the ball of ghoul in his arms.

"Let's get you to bed, yeah?"

He presses a small kiss to the top of their head, making Lamb grumble.

"Ah-ah-ah, none of that!" Special scolds, "You're going to take a nap with Bells and I."

"Don't wanna... you guys stink."

"So do you, little sheep."

"Not napping with ghouls..."

"I'm sure you've heard it a million times, Baa-Baa, but you, too, are a ghoul, and you're really missing out on a lot of snuggle piles not letting yourself embrace it." Special pouts, then grins devilishly, "Maybe that's why you're so stubborn, you want to be snuggled by a special ghoul that isn't moi, hm~? Maybe a certain water ghoul who you can't seem to keep from-YEOUCH!"

[romaritimeharbor]

kaveh's such a genuinely grounded and interesting character how tf did he come out of a game like genshin

no bc kaveh (and baizhu but we aren't talking about him rn do NOT get me started on baizhu) is the realest genshin character known to man and it makes me sick why is this guy so fucking human. Yeouch. i thought he was fictional not an accurate reflection of humanity ❓️