#maybe I needed to feel this shitty to understand all the shit you’ve done to me and the ways you’ve hurt me

[quillsandblades]

A Minute of Rest

Based on the art by @shunkani

Dancing candle flames and the muted glow of the lanterns swam before her eyes. Hange Zoe would swap tedious hours of paperwork with titan or—as these days demanded—technological research any time. The mechanisms of a rail engine or the complex arrangements and workings of gears and wires were certainly more suited for her exhausted brain than planning the next steps of their alliance with Hizuru.

Nevertheless, it wasn’t like she had much of a choice. With a sigh, she adjusted her glasses and pulled another sheet towards herself. Yellow parchment, embedded with small black text. Shadows flickered around the words. Her brain caught fragments of them.

Diplomatic relations with Hizuru date back to more than a century ago . . .

The unique characteristics of the Iceburst stone enable . . .

Potential reason of interest . . .

. . . cornered nation . . . no other country tolerates Eld . . .

She hunched over the table, squinting at the document, willing her mind to turn the words over and whip out a solution. There was a throbbing in her temples, and her back was stiff. But no, they had to plan their next moves; Hizuru had extended a hand of friendship and provided Paradis with ample resources for research about the outer world. She had to go through it all, understand the stance and motives of as many countries as she could. She wasn’t going to consider Hizuru as a reliable ally though, they were more concerned with Mikasa and the Iceburst stone rather than a good future for Paradis.

Hange slumped over her desk, face hidden in her arms. She was so tired of dealing with hate and mistrust and selfish, close-minded people. So tired.

A door opened behind her; quiet, measured footsteps sounded.

Levi.

A scraping sound on her desk followed by the weight of a hand on her shoulder.

‘Hange,’ his voice was low and made something warm and soothing unfurl in her stomach.

‘Mmm?’

‘Get your ass in bed if you’re so tired.’

She lifted her head. Levi was standing beside her, shadows playing upon his face; there was a cup of steaming tea on her desk. She sighed, pulling another paper towards herself, ‘Can’t.’

‘Your brain won’t understand shit in this state. Get some rest, a few hours won’t hurt.’

Oh yes they would. She squeezed her eyes shut. Time was precious, if she slept now who knows how many seconds, how many minutes would trickle through her fingers like water, and then she’d wake up, regretting it, because she could have done more research, maybe she’d have found answers, but then it would be morning and everyone would be awake and bustling about, and her presence would be demanded everywhere, and there’d be meetings where Zackly and Pixis and Lady Azumabito would stare at her, asking for their next moves, and whether she’d figured out something or not, but she’d just sit there with a blank face because she was so damn exhausted that she slept and there wouldn’t be time to do anything at all then, because she jus—

Fingers pressed into the back of her shoulders, kneading her stiff muscles, cutting out her thoughts.

Her surprised exhale crumbled into a weary one. Levi’s hands gradually moved to her shoulder blades, thumbs digging into the sore, knotted parts of her back. Warmth rippled through her body at his touches, easing out a tension she wasn’t aware of until now.

‘This feels so fucking good,’ she mumbled heavily. ‘I didn’t even know I needed this.’

‘With that shitty posture, of course you needed this,’ he said, pushing her back and straightening her spine. ‘If you sit in that position for hours, it’ll definitely make your muscles go all tense.’

‘You’re starting to sound like Moblit,’ Hange chuckled. ‘Ever the worrywart.’

‘Someone has to look out for your clumsy ass.’

‘So you’ve decided to take full responsibility then, Captain?’ she grinned.

‘Never got the liberty of deciding in the first place,’ he droned out.

She laughed softly, somehow feeling lighter than she had in hours, days. His hands were still pressing upon her shoulders, lifting the invisible weight, induced by stress. She hummed softly and leaned back, so that she was pressing against Levi’s chest. His hands stilled, curling around the curves of her shoulders.

‘Oi . . .’ he said softly.

The back of her head came to rest against his neck. She inhaled deeply, a clean woody scent invaded her nose, making her eyes flutter shut and her breaths slow down. It felt good, having Levi so close, feeling his warmth all around.

‘Hange,’ he called her again.

‘Can we just . . . stay like this . . . for a while?’ she whispered.

Yeah, just for a while. Because she still had work to do, so she couldn’t give in to the heavy pull of sleep yet. She’d rest for a minute, with Levi right beside her. Then she’d start again.

‘Okay,’ he said quietly.

‘Just . . . don’t let me sleep. I still have . . .’ her words dissolved into exhausted breaths, ‘so much to do.’

‘Sure, don’t worry.’

So late in that night, when the golden hues of the candle flames splashed against wood and stone, and the barracks lay under the heavy spell of sleep, a tired Commander rested against her faithful Captain, knowing he would pull her out of the velvety folds of slumber and get her back to work soon.

But for now, she had a minute. A minute of rest.

[p8dri]

ｂｌｏｎｄ, kylian mbappé

summary — breaking up with somebody you know you’ll always love, no matter what, is hard, but what’s worse is the memories that come with the breakup. only question is, are you able to rekindle what you once had? ( wc — 3.2k )

genre. sad? angst & fluff ig ! parings. mbappé x fem!reader ! tropes. breakup & makeup, flashback blond!kylian ! warnings. cursing, google translated french ! a/n was listening to frank ocean and decided to write this, requests are open, enjoy <3 PLAY MUSIC

AUGUST 28TH 2022 — LET GO. the breakup

going through life, you forever questioned the “ what if? ” such a small question can pack such a great punch. nothing is ever for sure, sooner or later all things come to their untimely end.

what does it mean, though?

what if?

there is no specific meaning, the question can be used in so many different situations, for so many different purposes and intents.

but standing in front of the man you love, you were sure that your ‘what if’ question held a punch able to knock the wind out of somebody.

“ what if we.. went on a break? ”

kylian mbappé, football superstar, the kid with the world at his feet. that same french hero, your boyfriend.

the problem with a boy practically carrying a countries football legacy on his shoulders is that it becomes his main focus. there’s no time for a relationship when you’re so occupied with striving to win your country another world cup.

breaking up with kylian was something you so deeply dreaded, because it’s undeniable that you still love him. but right now, kylian’s love was in the game, not you.

“ [Y/N], de quoi parles-tu? une pause? i don’t understand. ” ( what are you talking about? a break? )

hearing kylian stumble over his words only managed to break your heart even more. standing in front of the one person you loved, looking him straight in the eyes and telling him that you wanted time away from him hurt you more than anything you’ve ever experienced.

while you were doing this for yourself, you were also doing it for kylian. you would never want to make him feel bad or be a shitty girlfriend due to the way you would act with him during those few moments you had with him, the only reason for your foul mood knowing that the two of you would go maybe a week without talking again.

kylian hadn’t noticed how he was making you feel, and you understood. this upcoming world cup was huge for him and he needed his head in the game, solely on the game. your breakup would hurt him, sure, it was inevitable, considering he loved you just as much as you loved him, but he’d find a way to push through it. he was strong like that and that’s what you admired the most about him.

“ i mean we should take some time away from each other. ”

“ you’re breaking up with me. ” putting it like that made you feel even more like shit as you kissed your teeth, your frown bringing down almost every feature on your face. “ why, mon amour? have i done something? ” ( my love )

“ no kylian, of course not. ” you lied, your heart aching as you looked at the man in front of you, “ it’s just you’re busy, i’m busy, we barley see each other, i think this would be best. ”

furrowing his brows, kylian replied, “ is that why? [Y/N] i can make time for you, we don’t have to break up over it. ”

knowing kylian for so long, you knew he wouldn’t get it. which is why you knew breaking up with him would most likely make you look like an unreasonable bitch to him, but you had to go through with it. still, you hoped the two of you would be able to come together again maybe after the world cup when he wasn’t so distracted and distant.

“ kylian, it’s not that. we just need time away from each other. ”

letting out a scoff, kylian looked down at you unsure of whether or not you were being serious, you breaking up with him seemed so sudden and out of nowhere. looking down with a questioning look that spoke ‘are you serious?’ you nodded, your lip quivering and waterlines becoming evidently wet.

clenching his jaw, he nodded his head a few times all while staring at you and your hurt expression, but kylian just didn’t understand. you were obviously hurt by deciding to break up with him, so why were you doing it? had he done something terribly wrong that he hadn’t realized? why?

with puckered lips and a tight jaw, kylian turned around , grabbing his car keys and slamming the front door shut, all without a glance behind him. which was beneficial, because he wasn’t there to see you completely fall apart.

DECEMBER 4TH 2018 — THIS LOVE. before

“ blond, vraiment? ” ( blond, really? )

“ oui, je pense que j'aurais l'air bien, non? ” ( yes, I think I would look good, right? )

teasingly, you stepped back from the bathroom counter and looked from behind kylian’s large stature, giving him a once over through the mirror in front of the two of you, as if you were genuinely deciding whether or not he would look good. of course you knew no matter what color he made his hair he would continue to be overly attractive, but bruising his ego a little wasn’t out of the jurisdiction.

kylian put his hand on his bare chest as if he had been offended, his mouth slightly agape, causing you to giggle from behind him, your hands clutching on to his strong forearm while watching his reaction in the mirror.

in a second, kylian had turned around, grabbed you by your biceps and picked you up, causing a squeal to leave your throat as he turned you back towards the counter and sat you on it, the cold marble material meeting your bare thighs.

the two of you had woken up not even twenty minutes ago, kylian in boxers and you a nice lingerie set, immediately heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth when kylian had suddenly decided that he wanted to go blond.

sat on the counter, you were finally level with kylian, not having to break your neck to look up at him and finally being eye to eye with him.

“ bien sûr, tu aurais l'air bien, bébé. ” ( of course you’d look good, baby ) you giggled, putting your cold hands on his warm cheeks and pulling him in for a little kiss before pulling back and observing his hair, “ i still have leftover dye from that time neymar tried to bleach his hair here, we could use that? ”

with a nod kylian replied, “ where is it? ” a little shocked, your eyes widened, talk about an impulsive decision.

“ you want to dye it right now? ” again, kylian gave a small nod in response, “ alright, move. ”

kylian took a step back away from the counter, giving you enough room to jump off of it and crouch to be level with the sink cabinet. opening it up, you were met with little toiletries here and there. spotting the leftover box of hair dye, you grabbed it, placing it on the counter above your head along with a tiny hair dying mixing bowl, a brush, and gloves.

standing up and shutting the cabinet doors with your foot, you turned around to look at kylian who had a huge grin on his face. “ you’re sure you want to do this? ”

immediately kylian nodded and walked past you to sit down on the closed toilet seat, grabbing his phone from the sink counter beside him and diluting his attention to his instagram feed, relying on you to begin dyeing his hair and do a good job of it.

you’d only dyed hair once or twice, both times being neymar’s as you and kylian were close friends with him, still you were scared, you didn’t want to fuck it up so bad that kylian went bald or something.

still you put on the transparent gloves, removed the dye from its box and followed the directions on the side until you were met with the correct consistency.

kylian sat completely still as you used the brush to apply the dye to his dark hair, his focus still on his phone.

“ it kinda burns. ” he muttered, his face pouting a bit.

“ deal with it. ” you giggled, causing kylian to roll his eyes and smile.

“ feel the water, is it too hot? ”

placing his hand underneath the stream of water coming from the shower spout, kylian shook his head ‘no’ before getting on his knees and placing his head underneath the running water, clenching his eyes shut to avoid any of the toxic substance getting in them. behind him you ran your hands through his hair under the water, attempting to get the majority of the leftover dye out.

after a few minutes, with the water being completely clear, you felt you had gotten it all out as you turned off the water and grabbed the towel from beside you, running it over kylians hair as he stayed kneeled over the tub. once satisfied, you kept towel laying on his head and ushered him up, which he instantly did, groaning at the slight ache in his knees.

with a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you grabbed his biceps and led him to the bathroom mirror, where he was met with the reflection of him and you and the towel covering his new hair.

“ ready.. ” a simple shake of the head was the only answer you needed as you got on your tippy toes and removed the towel from his head in one slick motion, reveling his new hair.

“ it’s not blond blond, more white, but i like it. ” you spoke with a smile, admiring your boyfriend in the mirror.

kylian was in total shock. he’d never really done anything to his hair, always kept it that dark brown, but looking himself now, he fell in love. which sounded very egotistical on the outside, but still.

turning to his left and averting his vision down to you, who was still admiring him in the mirror, he grabbed your cheeks and pulled you into a kiss once again, his eyes closed shut in absolute adore. this one longer and more fierce than the one you had shared earlier.

pulling back a bit, he spoke, “ i love it and i love you. ”

with a giggle you looked up into his eyes and, unavoidably, at his new hair, a large smile spreading across your face as he pulled you in for another kiss.

DECEMBER 20TH 2022 — GODSPEED. after

it has been roughly four months since you had broken up with kylian, since then, no contact has passed between the two of you. lately, you have just been watching his life unfold on instagram.

the world cup had just ended two days ago, the final being france vs argentina and unfortunately, argentina were the ones to take the trophy and glory home.

you had watched every world cup game that france played, just being able to see kylian do what he loved sending a saddening yet proud warmth throughout your body.

watching france loose was what destroyed you, knowing that kylian had put so much of his time and hard work to try and win it for his county and having failed, broke your heart.

of course, kylian hadn’t cried, but kept that same monotone face, displaying how disappointed he was in himself. with three goals in the final, kylian had one the golden boot, the whole little ‘award ceremony’ he didn’t break a smile once.

what made it worse was that his birthday was only two days away, currently today. not only had he lost the most important thing in his football career only two days prior, but he’d also lost the most important person in his life only four months prior.

the striker certainly didn’t feel as if anything was going in his favor as he sat at a fancy restaurant table with some of his french teammates and family as they sung ‘happy birthday.’

“ joyeux anniversaire à vous! ” ( happy birthday to you! ) cameras from almost all angles got the shot of kylian blowing out his 24 birthday candles.

even as people cheered and clapped, kylian couldn’t feel happy. he wished you were there with him, helping him blow out the candles like you did every year, your head leaning on his shoulder as you told him how proud you were of him and that you loved him.

the vibration from his back pocket immediately made him grab the device and open the screen to his notifications, only to be met with utter disappointment. he had wished you would say happy birthday, but he also knew that you didn’t have to, that you had no right to.

kylian had come to the realization of how poorly he was treating you, but unfortunately too late. by then you two had been well been broken up for over a month and he felt like such a prick for making you feel so unimportant and belittled, he felt even more like shit due to the fact he hadn’t realized sooner.

that’s why he hadn’t attempted to reach out as well, he felt as if he didn’t deserve you, but that didn’t make him love you any less.

scrolling through his messages, he saved a photo sent from antoine griezmann of him blowing out his candles and posted it to his instagram, but not before noticing all the kind messages fans had sent him, managing for him to express a small smile.

after titling the post, “ 24 🎉🎂 merci à tous pour vos messages. 🥰 ” ( thanks everyone for your messages. ) he placed his phone on do not disturb and shut the device off, placing it on the table with the screen facing the fancy cloth as he at least tried to enjoy his birthday.

as you scrolled through your instagram, laying in bed with nothing to do with it being so late, you refreshed your feed, only to be met with kylian’s birthday post.

a frown was immediately etched on your face as you read the caption and examined the picture, his expression, outfit, the cake, anything and everything. which only caused you to reminisce the times you had spent with kylian on his birthday, your heart aching in your chest.

without a single thought, you exited the instagram app and opened messages, heading to kylian’s contact which was still pinned, your last conversation still available, a little exchange of “love you’s.” with that, you wrote out a message.

[22.34] y/n <3: happy birthday, kylian. i know it’s been a while since we’ve talked, but i hope you’re doing well and i hope you experience 24 with great laughs and endless smiles. i will always love you, there’s no changing that. i wish you all the best in life, any obstacles that come your way — you’ll beat, because that’s how you are. still, ill always be there for you.

with your thumb hovering over the blue send button, you hesitated. rereading the message over and over again, analyzing every sentence and determining whether or not it was too ‘extra’ or crossing a line. deciding to just fuck it, you sent the message, turning off your phone and throwing it on the pillow beside you as you let out a long breath. everything you had wrote was from a place of vulnerability and you hoped kylian saw it as nothing more than honesty and true feelings, other than a lame way to reach out after you had broken up, even though it kinda felt like it was.

after a not so eventful birthday party, kylian twisted the keys to his apartment and opened his door, only to be met with the cold temperature and dark room in front of him.

in that moment all he could think about was the way you would jump into his arms the second he opened the door after every single practice. he missed you, everything about you. your smell, your jokes, your laughs, your simple presence.

sighing, he walked into the hall, closed the door behind him and locked it. heading to the living room of his apartment, he threw his keys on the couch and sat down beside them, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as the windows on his right brought in a breeze and a beautiful view of the center of paris. the sounds of cars and people walking down the street sounded throughout his flat.

the specialized ringtone he had specifically set for you is what caused him to jump up and open his phone, clicking on the notification from you and reading the message.

his heart broke.

reading the message several times and processing the words differently and better each time, he didn’t know how to reply, or if he even had the right to.

he could practically sense your pain through the words on his screen and replying back with a smile ‘thank you’ didn’t feel right, or yet enough.

so, he did something irrational. he grabbed his keys, left his apartment, caught a cab and told the only address he could think of, yours.

you were still in bed, attempting to fall asleep in nothing but the darkness surrounding you when a knock sounded at your apartment door.

a groan left your lips as you sat up and tiredly slung your legs over the side of the mattress. only wearing a pair of a matching tank top and short pajama shorts, you really hoped it wasn’t someone important as you opened the door.

it took you a few seconds to adjust the hallway lights, but once you opened your eyes, you swore you were dreaming.

“ kylian- ”

before you could even process that your ex boyfriend was standing in front of you, you were brought into his warm embrace as he held you close to his chest.

with your head hovering over his heart, you were able to hear the fast beating as he clung onto you. for a few seconds, you were too surprised to actually hug him back, but soon you melted into his touch and wrapped your arms around him.

after a few minuets of you two just hugging, you realized nothing was going to chnage unless you spoke up, “ kylian. ” you pulled back a little as his arms fell from your body and to his sides, “ why are you here? ”

“ because i love you and i was stupid. ” his words were full of honesty as he looked down at you with the most sincere look you think you’ve ever seen from him, “ i treated you like shit and i was too ignorant to notice and i’m so so sorry [Y/N]. your message, it was my wake up call. i should’ve come here sooner, but i was scared, scared you would hate me. ”

“ i could never hate you. ” your voice was on the edge of a whisper as you looked up at the man you loved.

“ good, because i could never not love you. ” with that, he pulled you in for a kiss and it felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be with the person you were destined to love for the rest of your life. that familiar warmth spreading all the way from your dizzied head to your toes as you stood on them to melt into the kiss more.

you would always love kylian, till the time you die.

[suengmi]

haii, i saw that you wanted some ot8 prompts?

maybe skz’s different ways of showing affection? maybe comforting you after a long day? idk if you’ve done any of these yet but im in a soft mood today, had a bit of a shitty day myself and nearly got fired because I overslept so that was fun 🤧

get round to this if you feel like it, if not i totally understand!! keep yourself safe bby <33 -🐶x

I'm so sorry you had a shitty day :( jeez were all human. when one of my employees slept in the other day I was like "get ya hole here where you at" and they're like "IM COMIN MY BIG OLE OVER SLEPT" like damn not the end of the world yeesh ANYWAYS hope this makes u feel better pup ❤️

no warnings (mentions of non sexual nudity???) just FLUFF ACK

○ BANGCHAN

chan always knows you're upset, he senses it almost immediately. whenever you're upset, you need space but need his comfort just as much. kind of mixed messages. you feel guilty sometimes not knowing what you want. but chan is always there, asking you what you need in the end. sometimes you don't know, so it takes it into his own hands, cooking for you, washing your hair when you shower together, giving neck kisses while he does so. "more kisses? i have unlimited for you"

○ CHANGBIN

changbin, ever the fusser. he would try to make jokes after he noticed and tease you a little bit. he'll do anything to make you laugh or smile, but you weren't always in the mood. sometimes, he got a bit confused, trying to read your face. "baby, I'm sorry. what do you need?" with that, you'd melt into his touch, crying into his neck. he'd pick you up, pulling your legs around his waist. "my lil koala" he'd say, pulling his head back to give you a kiss. his kisses would get a bit aggressive in the end, telling you how much he loves you. in the end, you'd be laughing "bin stop!!"

○ FELIX

felix would instantly come to you, hands cradling your face, probably dropping whatever he was holding not caring. "oh don't cry! why are you crying? baby what's wrong?" big cuddles, pushing your face into his chest. "felix i can't breathe." he keeps holding you for a second before he realises "oh sorry" you'd laugh a little bit, him just laughing with you about his overly affectionate way of comforting you. "i sometimes have to breathe you know" kisses all over your face and fingers sitting under your shirt, telling you how proud he is of you. MORE KISSES.

○ JEONGIN

"oh shit" he'd say, seeing you crying on the couch. his bags thudding on the ground as he walked in the door. "baby no," he'd panic a bit, walking to your side to sit next to you. "what's wrong?" you'd just start crying more. "tell me baby please. what do you need?" you'd throw yourself into his arms, mumbling how you just wanted cuddles. he wasn't the quickest to pick these things up, but he knew if you'd just want to cry, letting you do what you needed. his hands soothing along your back as he rested his cheek on your head. "are you hangry? I'll get in the car right now you wanna maccas? chocolate? is it me?? do i stink??" you'd just laugh, knowing he's doing his best.

○ JISUNG

eyes wide and searching your own. you're in the sheets. nothing is said when he slips in behind you, running his hand around your waist to hold you. "you don't have to talk" he'd say, kissing your cheeks and shoulders. reassuring you that he gets overwhelmed sometimes, too, so he understands. you'd turn into his chest, enjoying his smell. it's comforting. in the end, you'd just exist in his arms, not talking about anything. he'd just kiss your head, waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to talk. patient as always

○ HYUNJIN

drops everything that he's doing when he hears you sniffle a little bit. "baby what is it? tell me" you'd just shake your head not wanting to talk. "bad day huh? tell me, please, i wanna know" you'd end up talking about your day, how shitty your work was, he knows you'll feel better after venting just getting it all off your chest. he knows you too well. his hands would be running through your hair and fingers gently wiping away your tears. "I love you" he'd say, all gooby and warm. this would make you cry more mumbling into his chest that you love him too.

○ LEE KNOW

"what you whining about?" he'd laugh when he came home hearing you start spouting off about work and the shit that came with it. this would probably make it a bit worse, frustration of him not listening and turning it into a joke. "oh babe" he'd coo, coming to your side, grabbing your hands in his. he wouldn't realise how bad you feel until he actually sees you. "sorry is it really that bad? i didn't mean to make you cry more" he'd probably feel really bad, pressing little kisses on your puffy lips. "im a dick" he'd pout, kissing you more. you're a mess now, everything setting you off. "i'm here, what do you need? I'll do whatever I can."

○ SEUNGMIN

seungmin says nothing when he notices you crying. the kiss on your forehead would be gentle, saying it all. he'd leaves you for a moment running you a bath and lighting some candles in his bathroom. he'd bring you to the bathroom carefully moving you with his hand in yours, undressing you before him. he'd help you into the bath, sitting in behind you. just rubbing his hands up and down your arms and giving you cuddles whenever you'd cry harder, arms sitting across your chest and face nuzzling into your neck whispering how beautiful you were and how you could get through this.

[brokenpieces-72]

It would be great for some fluff, maybe even have Farah and Alex join in on the fluff. No pressure :)

I’m gonna admit right now that I requested this request. I like getting requests and at the time I am writing this I’ve got some stuff going on that makes me feel like crap so in a way this fluff is beneficial to me as well.

For some extra context, this takes place in the COD Gangster AU.

……………….

You���ve had shitty days before and today is no different. You’re tired, exhausted and just want to go home. Go to your room and curl up and maybe cry a little. But someone finds you before you can make it there.

Kyle notices you acting awfully quiet at the pub, while you help with unloading small crates. Your sighs and muttering are clear. You’re upset, so when everything is moved he takes a detour back home. Gets you your favourite food, asking to make sure you get it exactly how you like it. He doesn’t take you straight to the hide out and instead takes you to somewhere quiet where you can just be alone together for a bit. Kyle gets you to move to the back seat with him so you guys can eat without messing up the front. He asks you if you’re okay and you not, and sniff. The tears are coming down now. You get a hug and he reassures you that whatever it is, everything will be okay. Whatever was going on or needed to be done, could wait for tomorrow. Tonight it was just you, him, good food and some YouTube.

Johnny sees you go to your room and when you don’t respond to his welcome he knows something ain’t right. He knocks on your door and you tell him to come in. Your voice is shaky. What happened? Who hurt you? Where are they?! (All of this is internal). You tell him you just had a bad day, and want to be alone. Johnny understands and leaves. He comes back. There’s an extra blanket, your favourite snacks and your favourite drink and if you need anything, he’s in the kitchen. You ask him to stay, and he does. You end up using him as a pillow, leaning against him sitting between his legs. He’s texted Price to say he can’t do much today but has good reason. Johnny lets you talk about whatever you want, whether it’s the shit you dealt with today or something completely off topic. Honestly there’s benefits on both sides cause he finds it adorable when you talk about your favourite things.

Simon is a bit different. He’s not very close to you but he overhears your frustration when you walk in the front door. You don’t notice him right away but he sees your tears. He doesn’t know what happened and he doesn’t need to know. He and his stray companion knock on your door. Simon hears you crying, and you open the door. The first one you notice is the cat, who rubs against your legs. Simon says she wanted to see you. That helps, knowing someone was happy to see you. Simon tells you the guys will be back soon, and if you want to order food. You say that’s fine, but instead of letting you go back to your room, he invites you out to the living room, where you find a pillow, blanket and a water bottle waiting for you, inviting you to turn on the tv for some background noise while he does some work. He keeps looking up at you, curled with the cat on the couch, content.

Price sees you frustrated as you’re leaving the pub. He’s finished his work for the day and calls after you before you open the door. You just want to walk back by yourself, but he isn’t about to let that happen when you’re not doing well. Price gets his coat on and walks back with you. It’s awkward silence at first but he starts a conversation, asking if you have anything you’d like to ask about him, the gang, the pub, etc. No? Then he’ll ask you. Do you enjoy helping at the pub? Is your art going well? Anyone been giving you a hard time lately? The last question has you already pawing at your eyes. Without a word he has an arm around you, reminding you that you’re walking together. You can let it out, or chat about something else. You two can make a small stop on the way home. Not everyone is going to like you, that’s not your fault. But the ones who do, they’ll walk with you.

Farah finds you hugging your knees, shoulders bobbing from sobs. Alex was dealing with the problem now it was clean up. Farah’s footsteps are audible, you can hear them on the rocky asphalt. You look up wiping your eyes, sitting up a bit. Farah sits down next to you and when you start apologizing she stops you. Not your fault, everyone has off days. You were smart to find a spot like this to blow off steam. Despite her saying it wasn’t your fault you keep insisting it was, explaining how you messed up. Farah assures you that everyone trips and has off days. For now you two can wait here until Alex gets everything sorted with the asshole who was giving you a hard time. You did your best, that’s all she was asking in the first place.

Alex is dropping by the police station when he sees you off to the side of it, staring at the ground. He says hello, but you’re distant. Not like you. He gets a bad feeling and asks you to wait up for him. When he comes back out he asks what’s going on, though he can guess by the comments he overheard when I’m the station. Got reamed out pretty good. Yeah that’s never fun. Alex reminds you it happens to everyone. Remember for next time, that’s all you can do. Doesn’t do much. Taking the extra step he invites you over to his place for some food. Packaged dinner sounds pretty inviting after the long day you’ve had. Alex even fires up some video games for the two of you, and your frustration is now redirected on him for being so good at Mario party. At least he got you to start smiling.

Graves believe it or not, knows you’re having a bad day but he can’t always help you. For him he knows if all he does is comfort you, the other guys will just say you’re being coddled. Clearly today is an exception. You’re not okay, and it shows. You’re trying to hide in your work, not show your emotions. Yeah sometimes your dad did that too. He asks if you’re free tomorrow, and through the lump in your throat, you say yes. Tomorrow comes and he takes you to some of your favourite spots. Some of them are stores and notices you keep staring at something. You guys spend the morning together and it’s just a casual hangout. By the end though he asks if you’re doing okay. You nod and say I’m fine. No you’re not but he doesn’t push and instead gives you the thing you were staring at earlier. You’ve been working hard kid. Don’t forget to reward yourself.

Note: Just a small extra edit, I honestly needed this myself, because unfortunately I have been dealing was some very frustrating issues regarding my career life. I’ll likely come back to this post to add some stuff, but wanted to just do some sweet and simple fluff. I love you all and appreciate your love and support for the stuff I make on here. I plan to branch out to other fandoms and hope to have your support on those as well. Wish you all the best and my request box is always open.

@yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @tai-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐇𝐁𝐎'𝐒  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓  𝐎𝐅  𝐔𝐒  /  𝐄𝐏  𝟖  &  𝟗.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

“ do you remember what comes next? ”

“ when can we bury him? ”  

“ the ground is too cold to dig. ”  

“ it was dark, see what you wanna see sometimes. ”

“ i sensed doubt in there. ”  

“ i need to know you’re with me. ”  

“ you think we can just take it? ”  

“ any sudden moves, i put one right between your eyes. ”

“ we didn’t even hear you coming. ”  

“ you can’t drag this back on your own. ”  

“ i’m not following you anywhere. ”  

“ it’s not code, do as i said. ”  

“ you know, you really shouldn’t be out here all on your own. ”

“ from where i’m sitting, you shouldn’t be out here on your own. ”

“ it’s hard to trust strangers. ”  

“ is this some weird cult thing? ”  

“ the whole world ended and you still believe that shit. ”

“ i actually started believing after the world ended. ”  

“ luck? there’s no such thing as luck. ”  

“ i believe everything happens for a reason. ”  

“ you won’t survive for long out there. ”  

“ i can protect you. ”  

“ you should kill him. ”  

“ i’m gonna lead them away from you, but if anybody makes it down here you fucking kill them, you got it? ”

“ do not fall asleep. ”  

“ you so hungry for vengeance? deliver it. ”  

“ i started worrying you wouldn’t wake up. ”  

“ why am i in a cage? ”  

“ i’m afraid of you. ”  

“ you’re a dangerous person, you’ve certainly proven that. ”

“ the others, they want me to kill you for all that’s happened. ”

“ i stopped them. ”  

“ you can’t survive on your own, no one can. ”  

“ i’m not on my own. ”  

“ you focus right here, or i’ll pop your fucking kneecap off. ”

“ you’re gonna chop me up into little pieces. ”  

“ you don’t believe that. ”  

“ you remind me of me. ”  

“ you have a violent heart. ”  

“ what did you say? everything happens for a reason, right? ”

“ no one infected fights this hard to stay alive. ”  

“ neither one of us is dying today. ”  

“ it’s me. ”  

“ it’s okay, baby girl. i got you. ”  

“ you fucking tell them. ”  

“ you’re so tough. ”  

“ it’s not your fault. ”  

“ i can’t kill you. ”  

“ have you ever played this? boggle? it’s a word game. ”

“ if you want to beat me at something it would be this. ”

“ i haven’t played in forever. ”  

“ i was thinking maybe i could teach you. ”  

“ you want to learn how to play guitar? ”  

“ i was thinking we blast our way through that rubble. ”

“ i’ll give you a boost. ”  

“ you kinda seem extra quiet today. ”  

“ don’t scare it. ”  

“ is it everything you hoped for? ”  

“ can’t deny that view. ”  

“ maybe there’s nothing bad out there but so far there’s always been something bad out there. ”

“ i’m only saying there’s risk. ”  

“ after all we’ve been through, everything i’ve done - it can’t be for nothing. ”

“ i know you want to protect me. ”  

“ i’ll follow you anywhere you go. ”  

“ there’s no half-way with this, we finish what we started. ”

“ they were way better at stitching you up than i was. ”  

“ there’s no story. ”  

“ i couldn’t see the point anymore. ”  

“ i couldn’t have been more ready. ”  

“ when i went to pull the trigger i flinched. ”  

“ so time heals all wounds, i guess. ”  

“ you know what i’m in the mood for? shitty puns. ”  

“ people are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow. too soon? ”

“ moon rocks taste better than earth rocks. why? because they’re meteor. ”

“ what did the green grape say to the purple grape? breathe, you idiot. ”

“ you got hit pretty hard. ”  

“ you are the one person i never wanted to be in debt to, but i owe you. ”

“ there is no one else. ”

“ i’m the only one who understands. ”  

“ he tries anything, shoot him. ”  

“ i didn’t hear anyone say ‘stop’. ”  

“ i don’t have time for this. ”  

“ how did you get in here? ”  

“ you can’t keep her safe forever. ”  

“ it isn’t for you to decide. ”  

“ it’s not too late, even now, even after what you’ve done. ”

“ it’s alright, you’re with me. ”  

“ take it slow, the drugs are still wearing off. ”  

“ they’ve stopped looking for a cure. ”  

“ i barely got you out of there. ”  

“ were people hurt? ”  

“ i’m taking us home. ”  

“ she got us close enough, we gotta walk the rest of the way. ”

“ bet you would’ve liked her back. ”  

“ not much further now. ”  

“ she got bit, too. ”  

“ she was the first to die. ”  

“ that’s not on you. ”  

“ sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope. ”  

“ if you just keep going, you find something new to fight for. ”

[notstilinski]

Fangirl Starters !

Taken from  the 2013 novel by Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“It’s like a hospital room, but smaller. And without a TV.”

“God. Okay. This isn’t that bad. There’s actually nothing wrong, actually. What’s wrong, (Name)? Nothing.”

“Not nerds who join fraternities. That’s a whole subclass of nerds that I’m not interested in.”

“Would you rather I dated someone like (Name)? So we can both stay up crying every weekend.”

“That moment when you realize someone’s looking at you differently—that you’re taking up more space in their field of vision. That moment when you know they can’t see past you anymore.”

“I’m on drugs. They’re a beautiful thing.”

“I feel sorry for you, and I’m going to be your friend.”

“I’m sorry you ruined it by being pathetic.”

“Your neighbor with the pink Ugg boots keeps coming out to talk to me. Have mercy.”

“Maybe I’m really gothy and dark but only on certain days.”

“You didn’t borrow (Name). You kidnapped him and raised him as your own.”

“You don’t rock the Little Red Riding Hood vibe. You’re scary.”

“Who wants you to go to Frat parties? I was just kidding. Don’t hang out with frat guys, (Name), they’re terrible. All they do is get drunk and watch 90210.”

“Me? You look like you need fresh DNA.”

“I look like this because I’m alive. Because I’ve had experiences. Do you understand?”

“You’re a sad little hermit, and it creeps me out. So get dressed. We’re going bowling.

“I think there’s a baby in the corner that you forgot to kiss.”

You’re breaking up with me because I’m not smart enough?”

“I don’t want you to get charm all over them—what is we can’t get it out?”

“You’re not the ugly one. You’re just the Clark Kent.”

“You look tarred and sweatered.”

“There are at least seven taco trucks. All within a two mile radius.”

“Why do I have to sit down? I don’t want to have to sit down.”

“Sometimes you held somebody’s hand just to prove that you were still alive, and that another human being was there to testify to that fact.”

“Do you ever feel like you’re a black hole—a reverse black hole…”

“And then I left them—completely wasted—with a stranger and a moron.”

“Oh. Too bad. He was super cute. Farm boy.”

“I don’t exist to amuse you, you know.”

“”And what are you looking for anyway? Maybe if you told me, I could help you find it, and then we could both go inside and avoid death by drowning, freezing, or torn jugular.”

“I brought you an eggnog latte. And I’ve been keeping it warm in my mouth.”

“Working on this client is like making my brain dig its own grave.”

“Jesus. What have I ever done to make you this mean to me?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we were having a serious conversation until we were.”

“I just feel like it’s too much, what you’re doing for me. Bordering on exploitive.”

“I thought you were just mean. I liked that about you.”

“No, seriously. Look at you. You’ve got your shit together, you’re not scared or anything. I’m scared of everything. And I’m crazy. Like maybe you think I’m a little crazy, but I only ever let people see the tip of my crazy iceberg. Underneath this center or slightly crazy and socially inept, I’m a complete disaster.”

“I’m a pretty good friend, but I’m a shitty partner.”

“Jesus. Why do you have to kick the door open every single time you come home?”

“This is why people think we’re crazy perverts.”

“Smiling is confusing. This is why I don’t do it.”

“I’m not going to leave you alone in a hospital waiting room.”

“Why are you always feeding me?”

“You know what I mean. Are you the person that everybody calls when they need help? Because they know you’ll say yes?”

“If it tries to take you, I won’t let go.”

“That’s the ultimate kind of broken. The kind of damage you never recover from. I hope they feel terrible. I hope they never forgive themselves.”

“You’re not going to throw your life away to take care of me.”

“Just… Isn’t giving up allowed sometimes? Isn’t it okay to say, ‘This really hurts, so I’m going to stop trying’?”

“God, I don’t know, probably anointing her first boyfriend.”

“But there’s nothing more profound than creating something out of nothing.”

“It means… I really like you. Like, really like you. And I want that kiss to have been the start of something. Not the end.”

“I mean, I spent four months trying to kiss you and the last six weeks trying to figure out how I managed to fuck everything up. All I want now is to make it right, to make you see how sorry I am and why you should give me another chance. And I just want to know—are you rooting for me? Are you hoping I pull this off?”

“I decided not to kill you in your sleep. Happy Christmas.”

“I panicked. I thought that if you knew how much kissing you meant to me… it would seem even worse that I kissed another girl.”

“Because I felt like such an asshole. I’m not used a o being the asshole—I’m usually Dudley Do-Right, you know?”

“It means (Name) is a great person. And they always fall for people who are a complete pain in the ass.”

“What is wrong with you? If I woke you up like this, you’d murder me.”

“I know. But you’re helpless sometimes. It’s like watching a kitten with its head trapped in a Kleenex box.”

“My plan is to do things that make you want to hang out with me again tomorrow. What’s your plan?”

“I knew you’d like it. Play your cards right, and I’ll bring you back during the high season.”

“You flirt with everything. You flirt with old people and babies and everybody in between.”

“You’re extra nice. With everyone. You go out of your way to make everyone feel special.”

“And I repeat, you’re nice to everybody. You give away nice like it doesn’t cost you anything.”

“I’m not you. Making people happy makes me feel good. If anything, it gives me more energy for the people I care about.”

“This is obviously about me needing a mother figure.”

“If (Name) we’re a dog, they’d be a golden retriever. If they were a game, they’d be Ping-Pong, incessant and bouncing and light.”

“Would you prefer ‘honey’? That reminds me of my mom… What about ‘baby’? No. ‘Loveboat’? ‘Kitten’? ‘Rubber duck’? You know what? I’m sticking with ‘sweetheart.’”

“Don’t make me angry-kiss you.”

“I didn’t want to let you down. Think I’ll feel worse if I actually kill you…”

“In the right light, you are such a nerd.”

“You shouldn’t reward me for endangering your life, you know. Think of the precedent you’re setting.”

“I finally get you up to a room, and now we’re talking about my ex-girlfriend and my mom.”

“Don’t make me yell at you in front of company.”

“They tried to get me to ride with them. They’re allergic to solitude.”

“I’m making it about me. It’s not my job to want you or not want you. It’s not my job to earn you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be the reason you choke on your own vomit.”

“I’d give you the moon right now.”

“Good. I’m fulfilling my role as your nemesis.”

“You scared me last night. And I decided that I never want to drift that far from you again. What if you died? And I hadn’t talked to you for three months?”

“For my verdict. I’m about to go all King Solomon on your asses.”

“Don’t talk to me about life, kid. You’ve shown complete disregard for your life.”

“You’re incessantly good to me.”

“To your den of iniquity.”

“Are you kidding? I’m the untrustworthy person in this relationship. I’m all hands.”

“I’m glad you still plan to kill me the old fashioned way—but you have to admit that this is hard on you.”

“It was okay… They wouldn’t stop licking my ear—I think they might have an ear fetish. And you don’t even want to know what they did to my chin.”

“You know I’m falling in love with you, right?”

“Are you Zach, or are you Cody?”

“Happily ever after, or even just together ever after, is not cheesy. It’s the noblest, like, the most courageous thing two people can shoot for.”

“I can’t decide if you love me, or this room.”

“Don’t argue with me. You’re beautiful.”

“Flawed logic. Miserably flawed.”

“How do you even know when you’re anywhere near marrying someone? Is that a question about time? Distance?”

“I’m too hungry to rage. Do you mind if we stop somewhere?”

“I can still remember the night they came home with their first My Little Pony tattoos.”

“It’s like your drinking blood if blood had the consistency of gravy.”

“I don’t understand how you could throw this class away twice. I have to fight for every grade I get—I’d kill for a second chance at most of my classes. And you’re just walking away from this assignment because you don’t feel like it, because you’ve got this arbitrary deadline, and it’s all you can see.”

“I can’t believe I said that. I can’t even go nine hours without seeing you.”

“If you leave, I’m going with you.”

“They’re both crying. I can’t even watch.”

“I was planning to despoil you later. But if you want, we can do that first.”

[petalsfall]

*: ･ﾟ Shatter Me Series Inspired RP Starters (Tahereh Mafi) Final Part ✧ Feel free to change anything as needed.

BELIEVE ME. “ You know, it occurs to me now that I’ve lived through hostage situations less torturous than this.” “ Is this really happening?” “ You can’t murder him. Not now. Not ever.” “ It really is a disaster, isn’t it?” “ Listen, man, it’s been a really hectic two weeks since the world fell apart, okay? I’ve been busy.” “ It’s only been a secret to you, princess.” “ I see all the efforts I made to defend your shitty behavior were for nothing.” “ So you’re just going to ignore me?” “ Oh now you’re interested?” “ Now you’re going to look at me like I’m a human being?” “ Who proposes to a girl without a ring?” “ You were just messing with me? That was your idea of a joke?” “ I’m going to give you five seconds to get to your point.” “ We know this is a lot to ask. We’re not trying to put undue pressure on you. Your position here, among us, is critical.” “ Who do I have to kill?” “ ___ wasn’t supposed to tell you that.” “ I was going to tell you myself.” “ I don’t care, love. I don’t care about any of it. I just want you.” “ You think I don’t understand what it’s like to be with someone whose life is constantly in danger? You think I don’t understand how terrifying it is to watch them step foot out the door every day?’ “ I’m not allowed to tell you what’s going on.” “ Wow, you really are an asshole.” “ We don’t have time for this, princess. You waited too long, and now it’s officially a problem.” “ I’ve given you tons of privacy, and you’ve proven you can’t be trusted.” “ We’re getting married today?” “ How long have you been planning this?” “ I never said I was disappointed.” “ Do you want me to stop?” “ You know, I’m not used to seeing you nervous like this.” “ I really don’t think I’ve said thank you enough for all you’ve done.” “ There’s no one in the whole world like you.” “ It’s not true. You deserve every good thing in the world.” “ I love you more every single day, and I didn’t even think that was possible.” “ I want to take care of you, too. I want to give you peace.” “ People like us think good things will disappear because that’s how it’s always been.” “ We can choose happiness for ourselves and for each other.” “ I love you, I’ve always loved you. I’m not going anywhere.” “ That’s right, buddy. We’re going to be neighbors.” “ Listen I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lash out at you like that last night. Really, I didn’t.” “ I know you and I don’t always see eye to eye, But I’m hoping maybe- if we get to know each other- that’ll change.” “ I want us to start over.” “ You know, I think this might be the most pleasant conversation you and I have ever had.” “ You’re not coming with me?” “ Oh- shit- are you having a panic attack?” “ This is the beginning of a new chapter for all of us.” “ Nothing is ever going to be the same.”

[nicoh57]

fuck all of this.. literally sitting here, depressed, giving a shit about someone who doesn’t give a shit about me and wanting something that apparently was never even real to anyone but me, fuck all of this and just.. fuck you

karma is so real and I am sorry that I let myself become consumed by you and all of this again.. you’re a user and parasite and I know each day will be hard but holy fuck at least I won’t hate myself everyday or feel like I need to try so hard for someone who’d rather be anywhere but next to me. With this decision you lost probably the only person in your life that you could’ve counted on until the day I died. Not anymore. It hurts to say it but I just can’t put myself in a situation to help you or be there for you ever again.. I hope you figure your shit out. I hope you start seeing a therapist to fix all the toxic shit wrong with you.. maybe you’ll stop having meaningless sex with random people or maybe you’ll stop cheating on people. Or maybe you won’t push away those who care one day. Or maybe you just won’t royally fuck over your loved ones. Or maybe you won’t stop doing any of that. And you’ll get worse and worse overtime. Trying to prove something to me like how you’d be better off or how easily I am to replace. You won’t realize what you threw away until you have no one. When everyone’s done using you and your friends are tired of taking care of you and being responsible for an adult baby who’s about to be 30, you’ll see. You always fuck things up. I thought it was me.. but it’s you. I can own up to my mistakes and try to fix them.. you just point fingers and run.

You’ll fuck this up just like you fucked up everything else. It’s in your blood. Enjoy the serotonin while it lasts. Enjoy not respecting yourself enough to not lay with everyone that’s a little nice to you. You’re a typical fucking idiot who believes any guy who shows you attention cares and understands and it’s just gross at this point

Maybe once enough of them use you for your pussy you’ll realize that people won’t ever love you because of who you are. At least not like the unconditional, unreciprocated love I had for you. And I will never take you back again. I will never be there for you again. I don’t care what state this one leaves you in.. I’m not rescuing you. In any way, shape or form. You are dead to me at this point. Good luck with your shitty decisions. Hopefully you get better one day. Not looking forward to the day I get a call that you’ve done something stupid or harmed yourself.

[clandestine-sadboy]

My final letter to you

my dearest friend, my last lover, my person,

….Je ne te mérite pas….

I remember you in the little ways, and it brings me joy. To be close with you again even though it is only in spirit. I leave myself to process my thoughts, feelings… my emotions about you. My love for you will never ever subside. For my own well being I needed to accept all that has happened. I am ashamed of the ways I’ve changed you as a person. I feel everything under the sun, my biggest fear is never ever seeing you again, never laughing with you again; I really meant it when I said I loved you. Emotions are so so powerful, sure… go figure. Right? It’s just one of those things you knew in the back of your mind but never truly understood the gravity of it. Truth is, i have done so much shitty shit in my lifetime- that to a certain extent I actually learned how to control my emotions and thoughts. Despite reality. I learned how to give my all into someone, and I learned how to not annoy others with my hyper activity, I learned how to love less, I learned how to emotionally disconnect and reconnect time and time again. I learned how to distract myself from the bad thoughts, even when it all came rushing back- sooner or later I would regain control and focus on something else. In many ways I don’t think you deserved me and the way I loved you sometimes… And I don’t think I deserved you- at all. Any part of you. I’m well aware we both have feelings that we never thought we’d ever feel, and it’s because of the other. The hardest reality I’ve come to realize is; we slowly took the best parts in each other and completely exhausted them to the point of death and now we’re not the same people we used to be. I don’t know who you are and you don’t know me either. Life is so fucking unfair and it’s so hard to even understand. Sometimes I miss you and sometimes that’s all I fucking feel. Is just… a longing crave for you. The worst pain follows every single time; I miss someone who doesn’t exist anymore, maybe someone who never existed in the first place… because of me. I hurt you time and time again because I couldn’t process my emotions, I was so insecure I filled in the empty spaces, and when you didn’t live up to the version of you I made up in my head I punished you for it. All of this realized, too late. I try so hard not to think about what you’re thinking or what you’re doing, or why you treated me certain ways… all this thinking of you leaves me with nothing but quartions, building up into hurt, anger, confusion. I have been forced to grow and heal the deepest parts of myself, parts of me I never knew existed. I just wanna talk to you, but I can’t even bring myself to try. I still move through my life and want to tell you things. Which is one of the hardest things to come from all this, I never thought I’d not be able to tell you something. So incase you were wondering, yes I still love you. No I don’t want to be with you. Yes I’m still hurting. No I don’t move through life blind from my shortcomings in our relationship. Yes I still crave you. No I haven’t been cooped up in my room dwelling on what used to be. Yes I’ve slept with other people since we broke up. No I don’t want another relationship. Yes I am lonely and still feel like you are the only one for me. No I haven’t been talking shit about you. Yes I’ve been honest about what transpired between us. No I havent been doing so well. Yes I have been actively trying to listen to what you said to me and be better. No I don’t think everything is all my fault. Yes I am upset with you and get bitter sometimes still. No I dont feel ready to talk to you. Yes I see the petty ways you’ve tried to get to me. No I don’t hold it against you. Yes I am actually happy for you and hope the best in your life. No I don’t think I understand everything. Yes I give you the benefit of my doubt. No I don’t think I am innocent. Yes i want to reconnect in some sort of way with you one day when we’re both ready. No I don’t hate you. Yes it hurts, all of it… it hurts so bad. I’ve been happier though. And I know you have been too.

You still inspire me to be a better person. Thank you. For existing and being my rock. You’ve made such an impact in my life that even when you’re not around you help me. So no, there’s nothing I regret. Other than the mistakes that I have made that led me into this position I am in today. I’m sorry, I hope one day for your forgiveness. I hope one day we both live happy, stable, healthy lives. I hope our babies are doing well and thank you for blessing me with all the love and comfort over the years. I’ll shamelessly miss, love and care for you for the rest of my life. I’ll always be there for you if you we’re to ever need me. If you were to ever call me, I’d always pick up. If you were to ask me for a favour I’d always do my best to help aid you. I’ll always remember and absolutely treasure the laughs and memories with you. And I’ll always think of you on December 4th, when I see the number 8, when I go to the casino, when I get a new outfit, when someone says my person, when all those movies and tv shows and songs play, when I dye my hair blonde, when I think of BC, whenever I see a dog, whenever I’m one a drive, whenever I sing or take a shower… yanno, I think you get the point. But last but not least and I’ll always… ALWAYS feel joy when I hear/see your name.

But I don’t deserve you, I never have. I’m sorry I was unable to be who you needed me to be, who I promised I’d be for you. I love you, I loved you and I will always feel love for you.

Sincerely, with love and passion,

T.K

[eventuallyme]

Dear you,

It’s been a journey and it feels weird to

close that chapter of my life.

I half pictured you in and out of my future … it was

strange.

I think the signs were obvious

and the inevitable was

slowly but surely

closing in

did I give up too soon?

the ambiguity that surrounded our future

situationally

was tough

I probably should have been a better supporter

I didn’t like not knowing

how to navigate the situation

maybe I unnecessarily took on that burden

and the helplessness reigned over me.

I must say though

I think I will mourn

the mundanity

that you flourished.

i love love loved the feeling when

at the end of the day

no matter what

we had each others backs

boring, exciting, plain, eccentric

we shared those moments

lived at a distance

but connected as one.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be more supportive.

I’m sorry I took you and those times for granted.

And I’m sorry for letting you and us down.

I appreciate all the effort you put into us thus far.

Sincerely, I feel so shit that I was the one to give up.

I know you changed, adapted and adjusted

based on my needs

and I hope you can carry that change

into the future.

I guess it’s true when they say

only once you lose something

does it’s value truly sparkle.

it feels incredibly shitty

but I think it’s for the best.

because they also say

if you really love them,

you’d let them go.

Dear me,

Don’t forget

we didn’t come to this conclusion for no reason

it’s for the future

it’s for being better

and for stability and happiness.

We had many differences

and didn’t see eye to eye

on a lot of things

and it sucks that the one person you really care for

can never understand you fully.

I don’t think it should have been that hard?

Maybe i’m too hopeful of the future?

But good job for coming this far

Sincerely

You learnt a lot!

Loved well

Trusted well

you’ve Grown well.

You definitely could have done things better

but you live and you learn and

know that life is so much bigger than this.

It’ll be lonely

that’ll take time getting used to

but we got this!

we got this

We have so much more to know about the world

about ourself

don’t be hard on yourself

channel your regrets, sadness and hope for the future

become someone better than ever

and flourish your potential (or what you could never be)

and to each other,

we wish you well.

stay strong, stay healthy, and I hope one day you can be truly happy

happier than ever before!

and when I can see you smile in success

it’ll all be worth it.

stay strong you two!

Sincerely,

[voidingintotheshout]

Adidas is planning on selling Kanye West’s shoe line, but without putting any of the Yeezy branding on the shoes. Thus, they can sell the shoes but they don’t need to give Kanye any money. I don’t like Kanye West and I hate his antisemitism, but if you don’t wanna support, Kanye West, don’t sell his fucking shoes. This is that same bullshit that they did with Roseanne Barr and the show the Conners, a.k.a. doing Roseanne without Roseanne. If you don’t wanna support someone for saying something problematic, then you shouldn’t fucking support them. The idea that you can buy his shoes again because they’re not supporting him feels beside the point. Like, just buy different fucking shoes.  maybe for some people it’s just about the money and they want the thing but they don’t want to support the person but stripping a person of something they made just because they’re problematic honestly feel shitty. Like if I see someone wearing Yeezys, I’m going to assume that they don’t really give a shit about antisemitism and they’re probably a supporter of Kanye West. Like if you care about metoo, a reboot of the Cosby show without Bill Cosby,I feel, would just make any woman just feel really gross and uncomfortable. I can’t speak for them, but that’s how I would feel watching the show without Bill Cosby in it. I just don’t understand this idea of people who just can reduce a thing like this to just cash. Like a person who hates what J. K. Rowling says about trans people, but if J. K. Rowling suddenly renounced royalties to some future Harry Potter book, would people totally buy it because it’s not supporting Rowling? How can you wear Yeezys without feeling like you’re supporting what Kanye said? How can you watch the Connors without feeling like you’re letting it slide what Roseanne Barr said? How could you read even a used copy of Harry Potter That’s not going toward J. K. Rowling without feeling like you’re looking the other way about what she has said and done? Hasn’t their stink gotten all over it so you can’t separate the thing from the creator anymore? 

I mean, is it just me, but isn’t turning your back on the problematic person about not giving them money or attention? I mean, admittedly, I am giving him attention by posting this, but what Adidas is doing just feels really shitty. Like if I wasn’t gonna boycott Adidas before, the idea that they are trying to have their cake and eat it too, by recouping all of the money from this deal, and also screwing over the person who was instrumental in designing/popularizing the shoe feels really terrible. Like if you really want to do something to support Jewish people, not that I can speak for them, but it seems like it would make a lot more sense to sell the stock you’ve already made, and donate all of your profits to a Jewish charity, and then stop making the designs. Not just to continue making them as long as people are buying them and keeping all the profits for yourself. I don’t like this. 

[katnisscarter]

It sucks to like still be in love with someone who’s actions disgust you like I can’t believe you’ve turned into this shitty ass guy who treats me this way when literally all I’ve fucking done is love you like you cheated on me and i forgave you and you left me and I forgave you and all I do is send you positive energy n shit and mind my own fuckin business and like yes I wanted to see you and I miss you but like…. Either you need to do some soul searching and think about why you hurt and abandon someone who all she does is love you and to understand and not hold it against you … like why are you actively so cruel and mean and nasty when all I’ve been is nice? Maybe think and look in the mirror and ask if this is who you are because I can’t recognize you. You’re not the man I loved anymore. You’re a cruel cold shell of him. And to abandon the babies? To abandon stella and Jenna for some fucking girl? You disgust me. I wouldn’t want you to do that for me even. I can’t believe you’re going to turn your back on them after six fucking years of being their dad and primary home/caregiver all for some girl? Who is literally so fucking immature apparently like this was all so unnecessary. If you really wanted nothing to do w me and have moved on etc like… it wouldn’t have even been a whole thing. So obviously you’re not over me, and quite frankly why would you be? You fucked up & when you do that you don’t know how to fix things so you do nothing. You’re being so cruel to me & for what? You think you’re so high and mighty I can’t live without you? As if I haven’t been for over a year? As if I haven’t bounced back better than ever? Like I literally save lives for a living, I gave a family the gift of saying goodbye to their mom last week. She works at fucking GameStop. Like also, the idea of even bringing her near me? You’re disgusting. You have no respect for me. Just because you self sabotaged our relationship because of the fear of life long commitment does not give you the right to act like the 5 years we spent together meant nothing. You are pathetic for that. While I love you I will not let you do that. All I have is unconditional love for you, but I will NOT let you disrespect me. & for the record, if you were over me she would feel secure in the relationship & not have been so upset. Also, you look like a fucking fool by showing this “loyalty” to her when you quite literally CHEATED ON YOUR FIANCÉ with her. Like there’s no way you can be the good guy here and that’s why you’re still with her and pushing me as far away as you can. Because let’s get one thing straight, it’s not that I’m not good enough for you anymore, you’re not good enough for me as you are currently. I deserve kindness and warmth and love and understanding and all of the things that I am giving and have been giving to you, that’s what I deserve. It’s just fucking pitiful because I know you can be that, that you can be those things and be him. I saw it for 5 years. But until you can grow the fuck up and show some fucking respect I don’t give a flying fuck what you do. I just hope you use condoms still because that would be a mess I don’t think you’d want to be in. Like just remember at the end of the day your decisions and behavior literally led to a part of me dying. So keep making an ass out of yourself, but make sure that this is one bridge you want to completely burn. Because when I’m done, im completely fucking done whether I love you or not. And right now the flames are licking at the door and im about to fucking close it.

[x-heartofthecards-x]

@screwtherules

“I did fight for you, didn’t I?” Seto asked, pushing off of the car to follow a handful of steps behind Yugi, still allowing some space between them. “I begged you not to leave. I’d have happily given up everything I have for you to have stayed. I’m sorry that I didn’t fight, but I had no fight left in me. He took it all. You know that. He took all of your fight, too.”

Kaiba stopped in his tracks, a line settling in his lips as his jaw set in place. His dentist was going to ream him for grinding his teeth again. But how was it fair for Yugi to say that he didn’t make an effort? He’d screwed up, yes. Maybe he didn’t try hard enough. He got the way he always did— cold, calculating, quiet, absent.

“And I’ve seen you pull yourself out of every shitty situation you’ve gotten yourself into with a smile on your face and a determination not to let it destroy you. But this time it did. Yugi, have you seen yourself? At least I’ve had enough self-awareness to know how badly I fucked us up and went to fucking therapy for it.”

Once his mouth was moving, finally letting out everything he’d wanted to say for the last two years, he couldn’t get himself to stop. Even knowing that he’d regret it, that he would would once again be the villain in the story of Yugi Mutou, King of Games.

“You made it pretty damn clear when you left that you didn’t want to hear from me. And I get it, that’s fair, I deserved it. We got toxic and shitty because we couldn’t deal with Atem deciding out of the blue that he was done here. Especially me. And then I lost you, too, because I pushed you away when you needed me. So no. I didn’t reach out, Mutou. I didn’t think you’d want me to. But you don’t get to tell me who I love and who I don’t.”

The shorter man stopped, lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose in a gesture that was pretty typical for the man with whom he was currently arguing. He let out a sigh, but otherwise remained quiet as Seto said his piece. After springing this argument on him, Yugi at least owed him that. 

But that did not make it pleasant to listen to. He still felt far too sober and too tired to be having this conversation. He doubted that it would make it much better though. No matter what, this situation sucked. 

It sucked because he honestly understood. Sure, there was a lot of what Seto did that was shitty. But he could absolutely understand why things had played out the way they had. He couldn’t blame him for going after Atem. If he had the ability to do the same, he likely would have too. In fact, he knew that he would have. Not because he didn’t love Seto, but because it was Atem. 

He straightened up as Kaiba finished speaking and finally turned to look at him, all of his anger deflated, leaving him looking even smaller and more pathetic than he had before as he said, “Fine, Kaiba. I won’t tell you what you feel. My experience isn’t your experience.”

He put his hands in his pockets and heavily sighed, “I’m sorry for picking a fight. I am too tired to stay mad. I am just going to go home. I will try to make sure you don’t have to deal with this shit again.”

[xoxo-teddybear]

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don’t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

[miekasa]

bad romance

+ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

+ genres and warnings: friends with benefits au, friends to lovers au (well i guess that’s open for interpretation lmao), modern au—college au?, explicit smut, mentioned/implied virginity

+ summary: friends with benefits with your best friend since middle school is probably a bad idea. friends with benefits with your best friend since middle school who you’ve also been in love with for the past seven years—all for the purpose of her gaining ‘experience’ so she’s not nervous to do it with some other guy she has a crush on—is probably a really bad idea. levi ackerman is not known to make great decisions.

+ word count: 3.5k

+ notes: truth be told, i don’t even know if i like this; i took this from an outline/draft of a series i’d planned but know i’ll never complete. it’s kind of unedited too heh, also if you’re a minor pls do not interact 

Levi doesn’t think anything of it when he finds you on his doorstep on a rainy Saturday evening. It’s very much like you to show up unannounced and attempt to drag him into whatever activity you want to do that day. He’s fairly certain that Hange picked that up from you. Someone should tell her that it doesn’t work so well unless it’s you tugging on his arm sleeve and interrupting his otherwise peaceful evening. 

So, for a while, everything is normal. You make fun of him for his use of, admittedly overpriced, organic butter when he toasts you a bagel; he makes jabs at you shuffling around his apartment like a semi-wet chihuahua, and all is right with the world.

Until it’s not. Because half-way into whatever stand-up comedy Netflix special you’d persuaded him into watching with you, Levi’s had enough of your nervous ticking. He doesn’t know if you think that he wouldn’t notice, but he does. And he knows it’s not the result of you still being wet or cold from the rain, seeing as you’ve long since dried off and warmed up. 

You’re focused on the show (ironically, focused to a point of distraction), you’ve been twiddling your fingers since it started, and you’ve been fidgety since you stepped foot into his house. Quite frankly, he finds it insulting that you think he wouldn’t know something’s up by now.

So, he bends his knee, turns his body towards yours, lifts his elbow to rest atop the edge of the soft, and presses his cheek into his palm: “Alright, spit it out.”

“Huh?—What do you mean?” You look at him with wide, startled eyes. He looks back at you with unamused, expecting ones.

You crack a nervous smile, attempting to laugh off his command as incredulous, but instead, your voice comes out in what sounds like a pathetic attempt to cover up a lie—probably because it is, “What? Can’t I spend sometime with my favorite, surly psychology student?”

Levi scoffs at your batting eyelashes. The look he throws you seems to do the trick as you drop your facade with a sigh and shift yourself to face him on the couch too, your bent knees almost touching.

“Alright, fine, you got me,” you sigh, hands resting in your lap, “You, um... you know how you said you’d help me with, like, uh... sex and stuff?”

Levi raises an eyebrow. Of course he does. He watches as your eyes dart around the room waiting for his response. It’s cute as heck, and if the topic of conversation at hand weren’t about to get so compromising, he’d have probably teased you about it.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well… okay, so, you remember Jean, right? The guy I told you about?”

Levi hums. Yeah, he remembers Jean, but only because you can’t seem to shutup about him, not because he’s particularly memorable otherwise. He seems to be kind of a prick and a huge idiot, if you asked Levi; but, that’s kind of his default impression of most people. 

“Jean and I hung out yesterday, and it was normal, you know? We just talked and ordered food and watched a movie,” you rub your palms along the fabric of your yoga pants—another nervous tick he’s been observing, “I don’t know if it was a date or not, because he didn’t say it was, and I don’t want to assume, but Marco keeps saying it was, and that Jean wants to actually ask me out.”

Levi blinks. “And?”

“And if he does ask me out—or even if he just… I don’t know, wants to try something the next time we hang out, I don’t want to look like a complete idiot!”

He refrains from letting a noticeable grimace take over his features; and washes away the unsettling feeling in his stomach with a nonchalant comment, “I doubt he’ll try anything on your first date.”

“But what if it’s not a date! People hang out just to hook up all the time.”

“I thought you wanted to date him?” Levi questions, but his it comes out as more of a deadpan statement.

“I do,” you answer, your response a little delayed and drawn out, “But, I wouldn’t mind just sleeping with him, either.”

“Bold statement from someone who’s never slept with anyone before.”

“Have I told you today that you’re an asshole?” you roll your eyes at him, “Come on, Levi, you know what it’s like to just want someone, but not want them, don’t you? You’ve had one night stands before.”

That’s true, Levi knows it, but it’s different. He wasn’t actively seeking advice from his friends about how to pursue and potentially please his one night stands because none of that mattered—well, the pleasing part, probably, but not the pursuit, or the feelings that came with it. Besides, Levi hasn’t felt the desire for any of that in a long time.

“That’s not the same,” he responds, trying to dismiss the muddy feelings crawling up his throat, “Look, if your Jean guy gets horny when you’re hanging out, just make out with him—make him jizz his pants or something.”

“That’s terrible advice,” you frown, “Plus, he’s probably done that with a million other girls.”

“Probably. Sex tends to repeat a few basic actions here and there.”

“For a psychology student, you sure are a terrible makeshift therapist, do you know that?”

“That’s not even the kind of psychology I study, never mind that I never asked to be your therapist.”

Levi takes great amusement in your huffing and the frustrated pout settling into your features, though he does his best to not let his own smile shine through. It’s probably futile; you can probably see through his facade, anyways.

“I just don’t want to bore him, Levi.”

Any trace of his smile vanishes as those words leave your mouth. Levi doesn’t retain much about this Jean guy you keep going on about, and he doesn’t care to in all honesty—but maybe if he did, he could understand why you’re so hellbent on pleasing the kid.

Levi doesn’t like it, not one single bit. His own feelings for you aside, he doesn’t like how Jean has managed to worm his way into your head and make you think that he’s deserving of any kind of affection from you, whether it be platonic, romantic, or sexual. Because he isn’t; Levi might not know him, but he knows that much. 

Still, he sympathizes with you. He understands the pressure of navigating dating and hookup culture, especially in a university setting; never mind the additional expectations set on you as a girl. It’s shitty, all of it; the stupid feelings, the sense of uncertainty, the dumb-ass college pricks. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of that. 

“You won’t,” is Levi’s simpler response, “Just don’t crush his dick in the process.”

“I wouldn’t do that, fuck you.”

“I’m just saying, you’ve never been the most coordinated person in the world,” he taunts, “If that’s what you came here today to ask me to help you with, it’s fine.”

“Really?—I mean, okay, I know we said that’s okay, and stuff, but I didn’t know if—well I don’t know what’s on the table or not? I do want to do that with you, but I also wanted to know if we could do… more? But I didn’t want to ask for too much and make you uncomfortable! Do we need a lesson-plan of sorts, because I can make—”

“You’re doing it.”

“Doing what?”

“Stalling,” Levi tells you, “You know, how when you get all nervous and ramble, then run out of breath or things to say, then get super quiet, and let the conversation die and be awkward again.”

You throw daggers his way with your eyes, and Levi has the audacity to smirk. “Forgive me, it’s not every day I ask my best friend if I can suck his dick for practice.”

“You can,” Levi replies, a little too nonchalant for the situation at hand, “If you want. I don’t mind. As for a lesson plan, that’s weird as shit, so don’t do that.”

“Really? I can?” you question again, an ironic child-like glimmer of joy in your eyes.

Levi chuckles lowly at your enthusiasm—your appreciation is so genuine, he finds it nothing short of adorable. And oddly enough, he’s a little turned on by it, too.

“Yeah,” he nods his head shallowly, “You can.”

You still have that gleam in your eyes, but Levi can feel the hesitation creeping up on you, and offers his guidance before he loses you to a shell of yourself. He shifts over to you just a bit, loosely holding your right wrist in his grip; holding eye-contact, he carefully pulls you up to stand in front of him.

“You can start,” he says, slowly tugging on your wrist, “By getting on your knees and taking off my pants.”

By the time he’s finished speaking, you’re already kneeling in front of him, and the sight is already enough to have Levi semi-hard in his pants; an almost embarrassed flush washing over his body as he comes to terms with the fact that he’s thought about this visual more times than he cares to ever admit.

You fumble with the zipper of his jeans, pulling them, along with his boxers to pool around his ankles. Your actions are careful and calculated, but you seem comfortable—maybe not with your skills, but with Levi.

His eyes stay glued on you, when you finally hold his length with a single hand, the other resting hot on his thigh. He leans over again, this time to rest a comforting hand on the back of your neck, eager to wash away any remains of your nervous resolve.

“Start slow,” he instructs, feeling your thumb swipe along the head, “Just move your hand up and down a bit, like—ah, yeah, like that.”

You seem follow his words carefully, focusing on the way his dick jerks in your hand. Levi observes you carefully and mentally notes that while he’d have liked it, not making out with you before this was probably the right call—he’d probably have creamed his jeans before this could have begun.

“You can grip it harder,” he tells you. You listen, applying slightly more pressure to your grasp; and it makes Levi groan, short, but strangled, above you.

“Okay?” you question, the genuine concern in your voice enough to make Levi’s gaze soften.

“Yeah, that’s—you’re doing good,” he says, rubbing his thumb against the nape of your neck habitually, “Twist your hand a little when you go up, you can—fuck, okay, yeah, that, like that.”

You snap your head up to look at him when he lets a moan slip through; nothing but pure enthusiasm and satisfaction dancing in your eyes. Levi grits his teeth when you do it again, your thumb sliding over the tip when you reach the top of his dick, and, Christ, you’ve got to stop looking at him like that.

You work your way into a steady rhythm, letting Levi’s moans guide your movements. You feel him harden to full length under your touch; and when he does, you move your hand faster, twisting your wrist around the length and squeezing just a pinch harder at the tip, without instruction.

He watches through lidded eyes, using his thumb to press lightly into the back of your neck. You move your free hand from his thighs, eager to add it to the mix, but Levi freezes.

“Nuh uh,” he shakes his head.

It prompts you to stop your actions, tilt your head and look up at him, and Levi doesn’t think he’s ever seen something so sinful. Your complete focus on him, neck craned obediently, eyes twinkling under your lashes; your position makes him want to kiss you or choke you or something in between.

“What—did I do something wrong?” you ask with wide and innocent eyes that make Levi feel bad for worrying you, yet send an erotic pulse throughout his body.

“Not at all,” he reassures you, fingers treading into the hair at your nape.

He’s setting himself up for failure, and he knows it, too—because, really, who agrees to teach a friend how to suck dick? Having you on your knees in front him, crane into his touch, and keen to all his desires, does nothing to mask the painful fire in the pit of his stomach.

It’s stupid to be this hungry, this possessive over you when he knows you come to him in hopes to learning how to please another man. But one, precious thought is enough to cloud over all of that, enough to put that sadistic smirk back on his face.

“You said you wanted to give me a blowjob, right?” he questions, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth at the shallow nod of your head, “Okay. Open your mouth for me, yeah?”

He barely pushes the tip past your lips when your head dips forward, tongue peeking out to lick the very top. Levi sucks in sharp air between his teeth, relaxing into the couch when your head bobs further, enclosing the tip of his dick in your mouth.

“Fuck,” he groans, voice hoarse when his hardened cock rests against the velvet wet of your tongue, “That’s it—just keep going, like that.”

He watches intensely as your head bobs onto him. It’s hot and wet and so much more than he’d imagined it would be; and he’s not too shy to admit he’s imagined this with you. He moves his hand to brush away the flyaways of your hair, smoothing them back and tangling his fingers at the back of your head. He carefully guides your movements.

It’s slow and steady, and normally, it’d take him a while to cum like this, but with the visual of having you on your knees for him, Levi can feel a faint warmth of his orgasm already beginning to bubble inside of him.

“This is okay, right?” you pull back, a thin line of spit trailing from your mouth.

“Yes, yes,” he answers immediately, unaware of his tightening grasp on your hair.

With a shy smile, you continue, taking more of him this time and carefully gauging his reactions. You move your head further down, testing your own limits, until you feel like you’re choking. You pull back again, with an embarrassed cough.

“Don’t push yourself,” he says softly, rubbing soothing circles into your neck with his fingers, “Guys can’t actually tell the difference between a regular blowjob and being deep throated, no need to choke yourself.”

“Wait, really?” you ask, resting you bum against your heels.

“You seem so surprised.”

“That’s just so… disappointing,” you crinkle your nose, “Men and porn make deep-throating seem like the end all be all of giving head.”

Levi chuckles in genuine amusement, “Well, it’s not, trust me. If any guy insists on being deep-throated just to cum, he’s a fucking liar. He’s getting off on the submission, not the actual feeling.”

“The submission?”

“Getting someone to be willing to listen to them, telling them what to do, how to please them,” he shrugs, “Makes you feel like you’re in control.”

“And that… that works?”

“Yeah,” Levi says, “But, judging by the tone of your voice, and how willing you were to suck my dick three seconds ago, I’d say the idea of being dominant doesn’t really appeal to you.”

You scrunch your nose again, “Does it appeal to you?”

Levi pauses, thinking over his answer, before giving you a simple, “Yeah. Most of the time.”

“Oh,” you hum, “I… I don’t think I’d like that.  I think I’d rather be told what to do, seeing as I don’t really know what I’m doing, anyways.”

“Ironic, considering you’ve never once listened anything I tell you do.”

“I was listening when you told me how to suck your dick,” you correct him, “You seemed to enjoy that.”

Levi pauses with a raised eyebrow. You don’t seem to back down, that matter-of-fact smirk on your face still mocking him. He leans over slowly, using his right hand to guide your head closer to him, and uses his left hand to grab your jaw between his fingers.

“You can be such a fucking brat, you know that,” he all but whispers, pursing your lips together in his hold, “Since you like listening to me so much, then shut up, and we can finish what you started.”

You blink, staring at him with a wide-eyed expression. He’s right that under any other circumstance you’d probably run your mouth off about him telling you what to do. But something about the way he knows what he wants and tells how he wants it makes you listen without an argument.

You nod, slowly wrapping your lips around the tip again, and bobbing along his length. Levi’s breath hitches when you hollow your cheeks slightly, a rough hand pressing down on the back of your neck.

“You’re really—god, okay, you’re good at this, you know,” Levi praises you, letting his right hand resume its position at the back of your neck.

If you had any doubts before about being submissive, the look on Levi’s face seemed to have wiped them away. Watching him throw his head back, his fingers gripping at your nape, his cock in your mouth—pleasing him seemed to be enough to please you, too.

“I wanna make you cum, Levi,” you voice your thoughts, letting a hand lazily jerk him off in the mean time, “Tell me what I have to do to make you cum.”

“If you keep going, I’ll cum,” he answers too quickly, a groan slipping through his words, “Trust me.”

“Come on, Levi,” you push, rolling your thumb over the slit of his dick. It makes him inhale sharply; you’re getting a little too good at that; at all of this. “Can—I mean, do you wanna cum in my mouth?”

“Shit, shit. Don’t say shit like that,” he curses, blunt nails raking and scraping at your scalp, “You don’t have to—I can just—”

“I want you to,” you tell him earnestly, “Please?”

Fuck, he was pretty fucking certain he’d told you to stop saying shit like that. Levi bites the inside of his cheek, paces himself; uses both of his hands to hold your head gently, while you use yours to wrap around his cock.

He grunts with a shake, and rolls his hips up, pushing himself further into your mouth, but not so much as to hurt you. It’s soon after that hot strophes of cum wet your tongue, and Levi lets you lazily jerk him off until you’ve milked his orgasm.

The room is silent save for his low moans and the squeaking of his thighs against the leather couch. When he’s finished, he slouches back, looking at you through hooded eyes, sweaty and panting, when you close your mouth and swallow.

You use your fingers to collect any remaining cum from his softening cock, and hum contented as you put your fingers in your mouth. Levi locks eyes with you again, cheeks flushed as you pull your digits out of your mouth, and he has to grip at his own thigh to gain the self-control to not get hard again.

You’re going to be the fucking death of him some day.

He shakes his head when you move backwards with a cute smile and pulls his boxers up, then his pants as best his can, not bothering to zip them up. When he’s done, you stand to your feet then straddle him on the couch, laughing lowly at his post-orgasm haze.

He doesn’t think twice about the way your hands clasp at the back of his neck, or the way his find their way to rest on your hips. You grab ahold of his jaw with both hands, holding his face in place. He thinks you’re going to lean in, but you don’t; just stay like that, your eyes roaming his glassy eyes.

“Are you gonna kiss me or just stare at me all day?” he questions, lips pulled into a knowing grin.

“Can I?” your question makes him frown in confusion, “Dunno, I heard some guys don’t like that after getting head.”

“Bunch a fuckin pussies,” he grumbles, leaning forward to close the gap between your mouths. He can feel you smile into it, and mimics your grin when you begin to press short, repeated kisses against his lips.

“You’re the best, you know that?”

He laughs when you continue to press quick kisses on his lips. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

You kiss him on the cheek, wet and dramatic. “Love you, Levi.”

Your face is right in front of his, but he averts his gaze, a different kind go warmth spreading throughout his chest when you flash a smile at him. He lets you kiss him again, longer this time, but still slow and sweet. He likes the feeling of you resting against him, affection lingering on your tongue when you kiss him.

It’s dangerous, but he likes the way you spark a fire in him. Sweet or sinful, it makes him feel boneless, wanted, loved.

Levi leans forward, rubbing his hands up your sides, and captures your lips in another languid kiss before pulling away to peck the corner of your mouth. “Love you, too.”

And he means it of course, but if Levi thought he had it bad before, he’s in deep shit now.

[xpeachesncream]

lowkey (jjk) | 02.

⦿ boo’d up in the daytime

⦿ mackin’ & hangin’ in the nighttime

↳ series masterlist

summary: in order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, jeon jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the ways of dating.

pairing: popular!reader x nerd!jjk

genre: college au, fake dating au, friends (with benefits?) to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.2k

warnings: cussing, implied sexual content/mature language, kissy-kissy koo, mentions of a boner, mention of sex and cum, seokjin’s still toxic

note: posting this chapter a little early since it’s butter weekend, plus the last part of liquid courage should be up sat/sun. still sticking to my schedule in my faq though, srry loves! i’ll do my best to update as soon as i can. 💗

tags: @taegularities​ @jimidol​ @miinoongi​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ @thebeebi​ @preciouschimine​ @ladyartemesia​ @moonchild1​ @jikookiekosmos​ @marcoazz2​ @kootaes​ @wearenot7withu​ @codeinebelle​ @bigbootyjoonie​ @thisartemisnevermisses​ @maichiverse​ @ppeachyttae​ @fairysunooo​ @secretlycrazyhummingbird​ @yukiehyukie​

"I heard you were in an accident last night, babe. Are you okay? I'm so sorry I got mad at you yesterday." Seokjin comes towards you, cupping your face to look at every inch, every detail. You move away from his hold, backing up to give yourself some space.

"Seokjin, I told you to stop calling me that. Jesus. I'm fine. Don't need you to check up on me."

"Are you really gonna keep that up? I said I was sorry."

"Okay, and? I heard you."

"Really, that's it? Y/N, why are you being like this? What's the real reason?" He follows after you as you make your way to the library. To say Seokjin was persistent is an understatement— he was persistent for the wrong reasons. Like, keeping you close so he had you to fall on when things went wrong with another chick, his safety net.

"Because this is done, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. I'm tired of you doing this so, please. Just go." You slightly turn towards him as you climb up the stairs.

"I wanna work this out with you. Don't push me away. Let me help." You don't respond. He watches as you adjust your bag strap and wave at Jungkook. Seokjin chuckles and grabs your wrist gently, making Jungkook suddenly hop on defense as he balls his fists. Like he could do shit. Seokjin would probably wreck his ass with those broad shoulders.

Still. He hated how much of an asshole he was to you.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Seokjin laughs his rare, deep laugh that he uses when he's caught off guard. "You're hanging out with nerds, now?"

"And if I was, that would be none of your business." You snatch your arm away while glaring at him. You shake your head and continue walking towards Jungkook, relieved Seokjin finally left you alone today. Probably off to tell Namjoon, Yoongi and his friends how much of a bitch you've been and that you actually left him to hang out with a nerd.

Sunmi knows you're being tutored. However if that wasn't the case, she would question you, but she never take their side on shit. She remained loyal to you, and always supported you through whatever. That's why she's remained your bestfriend until this day. The senior chicks Seokjin and them hung around with though? Questionable. As long as Sunmi was by your side and you by hers, you both didn't care much for getting close to them.

"Hey, sorry you had to see that." You say as you sigh and set your bag down alongside of you on the long table.

"It's alright." Jungkook replies softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Thanks." You give him a tiny, tightlipped smile. "So, should we get right into tutoring, or should we talk about the details of our deal? I have all afternoon." Luckily, it was quite loud in the loud section of the library. No one cared much to listen in to your secret deal with Jungkook, nor did anyone care because it was Jungkook.

"I do too. I guess, whatever works for you?"

"Let's get this tutoring over with first then iron out the rest." He nods.

"Sure." He pulls out his notebook. "Tell me, what are you struggling with?"

"Everything." He does a small head tilt.

"I doubt that. I'm sure you understand some things."

"No, you don't understand Jungkook. I'm legit drowning. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or where I'm lacking." Jungkook simply looks at you, lips pressed together before he nods. You're not lacking anywhere, he thinks. You're really not. The subject is just shitty and the spawn of the devil.

"That's okay. Well, can I go over some basics? Throw in some tips?"

"Yes, please. Lead the way. I need you." You chuckled, but it makes the heat rush to his cheeks. He hopes you don't catch the rosy tint creeping up on them, so he instantly grabs at the whiteboard near your table and starts to go over the very beginning, the very basics of this semester's OChem class. Maybe a bit from last semester, but last semester wasn't entirely that bad compared to this one.

He didn't expect you to be all that engaged for some reason, but he should have known you'd ask questions left and right, taking the black whiteboard marker from his hand to practice what you've learned with him watching and guiding you from your side. You were always focused, always so determined. You were incredibly smart. Incredibly beautiful.

Honestly, Jungkook go on for days.

The both of you hadn't realized it was nearing close to 5PM and neither of you had really eaten much since lunch. You sit, feeling pretty good about your first session with Jungkook. You feel a little bad having kept him for so long over OChem, realizing you still had things to iron out with him.

[sunmi] 4:34pm: hey babe, not gonna be leaving for a bit. i forgot i had to work on this psych project with jennie. you okay with leaving around 6/7?

"Crap."

"What's the matter?" Jungkook glances at you as you continue to stare at your phone and scroll away.

"Sunmi isn't leaving until later. I'll probably be stuck here for a little longer after you leave." You put your phone down, now resting your chin against your palm, nails slightly digging into your cheek.

"I-I can give you a ride, if you'd like? Plus, we still need to talk.. about stuff." He shyly says.

"Jungkook, that's too much to ask for."

"It's really not a big deal. How far do you live from campus?"

"Maybe a 10 minute drive, the next exit off the freeway." He shrugs.

"I'm going in that direction too."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. We can just talk on the way home."

"Would you be willing to stop by for dinner? We can talk then. Maybe it can be considered our 'first date.'" You joke with a small giggle.

"Oh, sure. Yeah." He gives off a tiny, nervous laugh. "Where did you have in mind?"

"Can we get.. hm—" You hum. "Fire Wings? Down the street?" He almost feels intoxicated watching how your eyes gleam under the light, how they brighten and widen when you mention food. You were cute, and you didn't even know it.

"Only if you tell me what flavors you get." He tries to get smart, which makes you laugh. He made you laugh.

"Is this judgment day? Gonna see if you should call quits on our deal before it even starts?"

"Maybe." He goes along with it.

"Okay. Garlic Parmesan and Dragon." You pack up your things before shooting him a look.

"Okay, solid flavors." He nods. "I guess we can continue on."

"You're funny." You giggle as you both throw your bags onto your backs. You stay in your position until Jungkook comes to your side so you can walk by him. You don't know much about him, but he has a soft demeanor and he makes you feel comfortable. You had only seen him a couple of times across campus, not really noticing him much in class either. You feel a little bad knowing you didn't even try being that he sat behind you, but better late than never I guess? Maybe there was a reason for all of this happening. The way he tutored you today was insane, too— he was super smart, but broke it down perfectly, was patient. He was patient.

No wonder Dr. K loved his ass.

"What about you?" You picked up the conversation.

"I usually go for a dry rub and Garlic Parmesan."

"I haven't tried any dry rubs."

"You can try one of mine later."

"Okay." You suddenly remember to shoot Sunmi a text before she comes looking for you everywhere on campus. Jungkook stays silent beside you, allowing you to do your thing without being too overbearing or nosy.

But, he honestly can't help but glance a few times.

[y/n] 5:11pm: sorry just saw this, hitching a ride with my tutor. don't worry about me! ty ily, have fun working on your project.

[sunmi] 5:13pm: tutor, as in jeon jungkook?

[y/n] 5:15pm: yeah, he offered.

[sunmi] 5:16pm: okay, that was nice of him. if he tries anything tho i'll beat his ass. text me when u get home?

[y/n] 5:17pm: don't worry about him, he won't lol i will.

[sunmi] 5:18pm: kk love u b

"Sorry." You say, tucking your phone into your pocket. "Had to text Sunmi."

"That's okay. You two are really close, right?"

"Yeah, since high school."

"Cool." At this point, Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok are coming out of the café at the same you two are passing.

"What about you, where are your friends?"

"Um." He sighs, trying to avoid his friends obnoxiously waving and calling him from the distance. You glance over from behind his figure, chuckling a little bit. "That's them."

"Cute. You all are really close, too?"

"Ya, I've known Jimin the longest though." You smile and wave at them, causing them to gasp and whisper amongst each other with huge smiles on their faces.

"I'll need to meet them if we're gonna do this thing for real. Do they know?"

"Yeah kinda."

"That's okay. We should probably work on keeping it between us though." He nods.

"Okay, but. Can we save meeting them for later? They're a bit.. much." You smile.

"Sure."

"D-do I have to meet Sunmi?" You nod.

"If you wanna make this believable, yeah."

"She's kinda scary."

"Jungkook, she's not gonna bite your head off. She just has that look, but I promise she's sweet." That look, that resting bitch face. Really, you could be biased because it's Sunmi. She really only had issues if she felt disrespected. Other than that, she meant well. Same with you— you've been accused of being intimidating and having the same look but you don't mean any harm by it.

"Okay." Jungkook unlocks his black 2016 Honda Civic and pops his bag in the trunk. You do the same, while Jungkook goes to open the passenger door for you.

"Thanks." You smile sweetly at him. He climbs into his seat, hitting the button to start the car and sighs. The music in the background starts to play, and it sounds mellow, soothing— like it came straight out of a fairytale. His eyes widen as he rushes to lower the volume before shyly looking at you.

"Sorry."

"What, no. Don't be. What is this?"

"A Final Fantasy lofi mix." He begins to drive off as you turn the volume back up.

"It's nice. Pretty relaxing."

"Ya, it's nice to listen to after a long day." He pushes his glasses up at the light.

"Do you have family here?" He nods.

"I do. My mom and dad live about an hour away. I'm the only child. What about you?"

"Same. They're probably 30 minutes up north."

"Do you live alone?"

"Yeah, I live in a studio. It's actually my coworker's. She bought the space to rent it out. She lets me rent it for pretty cheap though."

"That's nice."

"You?"

"I live with Jimin. Our parents are close."

"What about your other friends?"

"Hoseok is dorming, and Taehyung would rather live back home with his family and commute. He's close to them. He'll crash at ours or Hoseok's from time to time."

"Are you close to your family?" He nods as he turns into the plaza lot.

"I suppose, yes. I'm just really quiet overall, so they think it's hard to read me sometimes." He parks and you watch as he shuts the car off with the same button. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm really close to my mom. Dad, a little questionable."

"Why, if I may ask?" He comes to open your door again, causing you to give him a small smile.

"He, um. Just got into some stuff." He watches as your body tenses while you fiddle with your fingers waiting in line.

"It's okay, don't think about it. I won't ask again."

"It's okay, Jungkook. Really. Maybe another time?" You look up at him and he nods. He stands way taller than you, almost at Seokjin's height, if not the same. He likes to wear baggy, dark clothing and doesn't do much to fix or style his hair.

He's simple, but in a good way.

You both order your food with Jungkook going first so he can grab a table afterwards. Before he could pay though, you offer to cover him for dinner as your way of thanking him for driving you home. You make your way over to the table he snags, Jungkook silently sitting at the high table with his legs pressed together and his hands clasped tightly on his lap.

"You okay?"

"Ya, why?"

"You look tense."

"Sorry. It's not everyday I have dinner with Y/N." You smile.

"Stop, relax." You watch as he slightly eases up. "So, this deal." He nods. "A month?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"We have to convince people it's real or else people will know something weird is going on." You look at his hand, now resting on the table. "You're gonna have to hold my hand and kiss me, you know?" He swallows the lump in his throat. Shit, he thinks. Don't know if I can actually pull this off?

A kiss?! Fuck.

"Y-yeah."

"When was your last relationship, Jungkook?"

"8th grade." Your eyes widen.

"O-oh, now I see."

"What's that supposed to mean? It's terrible, I know but I—"

"No, no, no. You're good. It's totally okay, it doesn't matter. I'll just have to teach you to make it look realistic and not.. awkward." You perk up again. "Not saying that you are though, okay."

"I know."

"So, are you.."

"Am I..?" He cocks hid head to the side in confusion.

"Like.."

"Just ask Y/N."

"Are you a virgin?"

"I don't know." You furrow your brows.

"Huh?"

"Look, this is gonna sound really embarrassing and I don't know if I'm even ready to tell my fake girlfriend about it."

"Just say it. We have to know things about each other." He sighs.

"I— ugh." He groans. "I did it with my girlfriend at the time. Or I guess my ex because we had broken up and this was sometime during freshmen year in high school and she came onto me out of nowhere at a mutual friend's pool party. But it was weird because we were just hormonal kids and I was just curious so I slipped myself into her only to slip back out right after because—" He's rambling, but you're doing your best to keep up.

"Because?"

"I-I, ugh. Y/N." He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Jungkook." You lean a bit to try and catch eye contact.

"I came right away." He says just as the worker puts down your food and takes the number from your table.

"Ohhhhhhh." You say as you nod slowly. "Okay."

"You can just run now." His head hangs low as he slowly slides his chicken over in front of him, causing you to chuckle.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. Stop that."

"It's pathetic."

"No. Besides, I know you'll get better overall, and you'll find someone who will rock with you till the end. We'll work on this."

"Thanks." He says, feeling comfortable around you. You were quick to reassure him and smile at him, he felt himself melting in his seat. Yeah, you were too good for Seokjin.

"You'll have to come to parties with me. Club events. Events in general. It won't look right if I'm always going without you."

"Okay. Can I bring my friends?"

"Sure." He nods. "What do you do in your free time?"

"Play video games and listen to music. Read comics, manga. Build lego sets with the guys."

"Cute." You smile.

"You?"

"Hang out with Sunmi, or just watch movies on my own at my place. Read. Eat by myself. Explore by myself. I value my alone time."

"It's nice." Jungkook's familiar with it. Even if he had his friends around, he truly liked being in his own peace when allowed. "What about outside of the public eye?"

"Hm?" You hum.

"Do we hang out?"

"Yeah we can." You nod.

"Cool." He smiles.

"Is my car gonna be a lot of work for you?"

"Don't worry about it, it'll be good soon. Just might take a bit cause I need some parts to make it look brand new again."

"I really can't thank you enough." He shrugs.

"Only trying to help my girlfriend out." He boldly says, causing you to laugh.

"Confidence is peeking through already, are you sure you need me?" You joke. The rest of the evening, you continue to talk to Jungkook about pretty surface level shit— what you like, dislike, overall experience in high school and college so far. It was a nice, harmless conversation, one where you were starting to see how warmhearted Jungkook really was. How real and laid back.

None of the shit in Seokjin's group. It was refreshing, a breath of fresh air.

Once dinner had finally finished, Jungkook was on his way to drop you off. He had parked in an empty guest spot, offering to walk you up just to be sure. At the door, he took a peek at how clean your studio was, mainly soft colors of white and cream taking over, with plants scattered around your living room area. The hallway in was sandwiched between your kitchen area and another wall, Jungkook assuming your bed was on the opposite side of it. He awkwardly stands at the door, afraid of overstepping.

"Well, goodnight Y/N. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey, wait." You smile and come close to him. He swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling dry when he feels your breasts press against his chest. "First lesson— give me a kiss."

"Right now?"

"Jeon Jungkook, we're doing this tomorrow. People are gonna have to see this at least once while we're together." He nods and presses a quick kiss against your cheek. "Not bad, but a little longer?" He complies and presses another kiss, leaving his pillowy lips against your cheek for a little longer before pulling away. "Perfect. Now here." You point at your lips before crossing your arms.

"Y/N, I—"

"Don't be afraid, just do it. I won't kick you in the balls or anything."

"It's not that. I just don't think I'm a great at this stuff."

"Okay." You tippytoe and gently grab his jaw while you lean towards his face. "Just relax, okay? Don't think too much of it." He stays silent, doe eyes constantly on you as you continue to inch forward.

Sparks. Just sparks everywhere for Jungkook.

He feels your soft lips against his and he relaxes, moreso because he feels like he's lost all senses being this close to you. Taking in your scent. Kissing you.

"There." He stands still, still trying to process the kiss. "Not bad. We'll get better over time, but at least that looks believable. Just—" You put his hands down as they were about to fall onto your hips during the kiss, but they fell short. "Let it happen and hold me, okay?" You smile. "Night Jungkook."

"N-night." He stutters as he watches you close the door. "Fuck." He whispers to himself when he realizes he's now sporting a boner. "Jungkook, what the fuck is this?!" He continues to whisper to himself as he waddles down your hallway.