#maybe this can get me in the mood to watch more stuff while my laptop is getting fixed

[celticwoman]

just wondering... if i start yellowjackets whos gonna be responsible for any emotional damage i could potentially get ?

[kmt123whatsthetea]

George weasley NSFW alphabet

Kinktober 2023

My laptop has finally been fixed and the fanfic finished. I haven’t been as active as I would like to have been for kinktober but maybe I’ll do some Christmas stuff closer to the time. Anyway, here’s a horny alphabet, have at it

TW: Kind-dom George (I always imagine him being the softer twin, idk why), Breeding kink, implied marking (through biting and spanking etc), mentions of DDLG, choking, mention of sub George, thigh riding

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

George always holds you tight and gives you a million kisses. He’ll always let you know just how good you were and how much of a good girl you are. He will only get out of bed if you ask for something. He won’t let you lift a finger after sex.

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners)

He loves your hips. He loves squeezing them when he stands behind you and he loves placing his hand on your hip when you both go out for the night. He also loves holding your hips when he's burying himself inside of you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s either cumming inside or he’s not cumming at all. He absolutely adores the idea of you being pregnant and the thought of you being swollen with milk leaking from your breasts will make him cum in his boxers like a horny teenager (and then he’ll be all pouty because he didnt cum inside you, but he’d definitely try to collect it on his fingers and stuff it inside of you)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think his dirty secret would involve him being a bit rougher with you (he gets this idea after seeing you with Fred). He would love to mark you as his, whether it's through bite marks, hand prints, or body writing. If he tries it, he’ll be obsessed with tying you up and writing on your body. He’ll write things like “Dirty whore” “My Bunny” “Cum Dump” “Bite Me” “Breeding Bitch” and anything else that makes his dick hard

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s got quite a bit of experience. Being on the Quidditch team meant that the girls practically threw themselves at him, his brother, and other players. He fucked a few of these girls, picked up a few tricks on how to make a woman very happy. Luckily for you, he puts those tricks to good use every time you both go at it.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

Either missionary or cowgirl. He loves watching your face because he can't imagine a prettier sight, but he also loves when you randomly straddle him and start riding him. He will still be somewhat in control (if you haven’t taken control this time).

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He can be, but it all depends on his mood and your mood. There are times when he tries to be goofy to cheer you up and it leads to sex (it's not the same but it's close). There are times when he will crack a few jokes and make smart quips but he only really does this towards the end of having sex when you’re both coming down from your highs.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I feel like he prefers to keep it trimmed and neat. He won't fully shave but he will like to keep it clean and tidy. The carpet definitely doesn't match the drapes. It seems to be the opposite. His hair is long, his down there hair will be short, almost shaven. His hair is short, his down there hair will be about the same length.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Ginger Don Juan. This man is so romantic that his second job would be a poet. He loves taking you to dinner with rose petals and candles. Sex is the same, for sure. On anniversaries, he will go all out with silk sheets and dimmed lights while he slowly fucks into you. He’ll hold you close and make sure you feel so loved. (it doesn't even have to be an anniversary, just when he's in a romantic mood)

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He doesn't jerk off that much, surprisingly. Maybe twice or three times a week. He just doesn’t get turned on that much. But when he meets you, he stops jerking off all together (why would he need his hand when he has your perfect body to play with as he pleases.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Does a praise kink still count if he gets off on giving praise? If so, then he has a praise kink. He has a little bit of a dumbification kink. He loves making you so cock drunk and dumb. He has an edging and overstimulation kink. He adores the way you writhe from being too sensitive and the way you whine when he stops pleasuring you. Teasing, he loves it. It's more of a condescending teasing, like telling you how greedy your pussy is and that you're too dumb to take care of yourself so he has to do it for you. DDLG. he loves treating you like his innocent little girl while you call him daddy.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He isn't one for risks so he prefers anywhere in your flat. He prefers the bed or the bath or the sofa. Maybe he can be persuaded to fuck you against the window overlooking Diagon Alley (I know its risky, but he secretly casts a disillusionment charm and a silencing charm to make you both invisible and silent) poor guy just doesnt want anyone else seeing your tits with a fucked out look on your face

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When you give him those innocent little doe eyes and say vulgar and dirty things. Coming back to the ddlg kink, he loves when you randomly walk up to him and call him daddy. So random yet so hot. He will drop everything he's doing and carry you to bed.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's against overly hurting you. He’ll spank you and overstimulate you but he'd never slap you across the face or pull your hair too hard. I feel like he'd be against choking you too hard. He doesn't mind wrapping his fingers around your throat but he’ll never go as far as making you dizzy or oxygen starved.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s more of a giving man. He loves the sound you make and the way you feel on this tongue. He adores the feeling of your thighs against his ears and how your legs tremble after you cum against his mouth.

He doesn't mind receiving if it means that he gets to look at your teary eyes as you try to take him all. He’ll tease you by telling you that your mouth is just too small for his big cock and that you need him to train your throat.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be either fast or slow but there's always a sensual element to it. No matter what you guys are doing, he always wants you to feel loved by him. Sometimes he’ll make his pace slow and torturous just to tease you and make you beg.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He isn’t one for quickies. He prefers to take his time making love to you. Even if he has the time for a quickie, he’ll use that time to give you sweet kisses and promises for a passionate evening. He doesn’t like quickies because he doesn’t think that it's enough time to appreciate your beauty.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

No. even when there's a chance to take a risk, he just doesn't like risks. He's happy to experiment as long as it's not too public and stays within both of your comfort zones. Don't think that he’s predictable, he’ll always find new ways to keep things interesting and new.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

This man has stamina for days. He can last a pretty long time but he will adapt to his partner. Although he likes overstimulating you, he will stop immediately if you even let out the faintest pained sound. He’ll apologise and stop for the night.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns a vibrator and that's it. He likes using it on you while fucking you because of the way you feel around him and how wet you get. Sometimes he’ll use it to edge you, but only if he's in a playful mood. He doesn't really like using dildos because he likes how tight you are (it doesnt matter that he fucks you nearly every night, you still feel so tight to him).

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

It really depends on his mood. If he’s in a teasing mood, then you better be in for a long night of being edged and tortured by this ginger sweetheart. If he’s in a romantic mood, then it's completely the opposite and he’ll make you cum as much as you can.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Again, it depends. If you persuade him to be submissive, he will be a loud whiny boy. He is definitely the type who begs for you to touch him and pleads to cum. When he’s in charge, he grunts and lets out breathy sighs.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

If you ride his thigh, he will cum in his boxers. He adores the feeling of your thighs squeezing his and the wet feeling of your cunt soaking through the material. Whether his hands are on your hips guiding you or he’s letting you use his thigh, he’s happy and horny. If he’s wearing his work trousers and you ride his thigh before work, he won't change his trousers. He’s wearing the stains like a badge of honour.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Being a twin, his dick is identical to his brothers. But he does have a few defining characteristics (his dick does anyway). He has one vein that becomes prominent when he's being edged. When you give him oral and focus on that vein (trailing it with your tongue or sucking it) he gets loud.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a high yearning but he pretends that he doesn't so that he can tease you. He loves when you come to him all needy and beg him to touch you but he just carries on with what he was doing. Sometimes his sex drive will wane and he’ll be in more of a mood to cuddle than to fuck but apart from that he has a pretty high sex drive.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He falls asleep after you but there are some occasions where he will fall asleep first. If he’s been submissive and you’ve really taken a toll on him then he’ll be out like a light. But the majority of the time, he will only fall asleep after he’s tended to you.

[holylulusworld]

A virgin at a sex store (3) - Sweet seducer

Summary: Your great aunt bequeathed her fortune to you. Her successful store in town. Problem is – it’s a sex store and you are a virgin.

Pairing: AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, age gap (the reader is 25; Dean 34), cocky Dean, teasing, Dean being a tease, talk about sex toys, kissing (yes, that’s a warning if it’s Dean), fluff, menstrual cramps

A/N: It's been a while...huh?

A virgin at a sex store masterlist

Catch up here: A virgin at a sex store (2)

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

“Morning sweetheart,“ Dean lazily leans in the doorframe, smiling like the devil himself. Maybe he is the devil hiding behind emerald eyes. You never know with the cocky man stealing more than your heart. “Breakfast, yes or no.”

“Ugh…please don’t talk about food or stuff,” you grumble and lie back down on your couch. “I can’t even think about food without feeling nausea.”

“Did I…?” He steps inside your home to glance at you. “Damn, I’m good!” Dean exclaims. “I got you pregnant without stealing your innocence.” 

“What?” You roll your eyes. “That’s impossible, and you know it.”

“Hmm…” Dean looks at your belly, frowning as you clutch your abdomen. “You are suffering from morning sickness, Y/N. I did get you pregnant. We need to marry.”

You snort at his playful tone. “Dean, I’m not in the mood for bad jokes. Aunt Flo strikes again, and I don’t feel good. I’m nauseous, got terrible cramps, and on top of all, my mom called.”

“OH!” He nods slowly and glances at your tummy again. “Wait, let me help you feel better.” Dean makes quick work. Before you can protest you end up in his arms, squealing as he carries you out of your apartment. 

“Dean, where are we going? DEAN!”

“I’m working from home today. I need to finish a few ideas for new dildos, you know. I’ll bring you to my home, and we can work in my bedroom. I got a soft mattress.”

“I got a mattress too,” you huff. “At my bedroom, Dean. I can go to my bedroom and rest.”

“No, no. I’ll take care of you, sweetheart,” Dean pecks your cheek. “Good thing we are neighbors, and no one else is living next door.”

“Dean, you really don’t have to. I’m used to having cramps and to take care of myself when Aunt Flu arrives.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to. I got snacks, ice cream and, if you get lucky, I’ll make you my infamous bacon burger for dinner,” he grins and carefully places you on his bed.

Dean didn’t lie. His mattress is soft, and you already get comfortable when he covers you with a warm blanket.

“I’ll get you a hot water bottle, some tea, and a toast,” he flushes a pillow and puts it behind your back. “Just relax. I’ll be right back with everything and then I can check on the design for the new dildos.”

You chuckle. Dean talks about sex toys like everyone else about the weather. It’s normal to him to talk about sex and the toys, you sell at your aunt’s stores. “Dean!”

“What? I know how to take care of my girl,” he raises his index finger to stop you from protesting. “Let me take care of you, sweetheart.”

“Fine,” you sigh and snuggle into his pillow. “After the discussion I had with my mother last night, I could need some nice company.”

“Nice company comes your way,” he winks at you. “Give me ten minutes and you will feel much better.”

Dean took good care of you. He brought you a hot water bottle, the promised tea, and breakfast. 

While he checked on a few design ideas and talked about the website with the web designer, you watched him. He furrowed his brows or pursed his lips – making him look even more adorable.

You got lost in not-so-innocent fantasies while he worked. Lost in thoughts you didn’t notice Dean stopped working and called your name.

“What do you think, sweetheart,” he suddenly turned the laptop to show you the new pictures Charlie, the web designer added. “It’s the main menu. I think it rocks!”

“Hot damn,” you splutter. “Dean! That’s…that’s you and…” You lick your lips and stare at the picture. “You're on your car, and you’re holding the new Dean dildo in your hand.”

“Do you like it?” He grins because you can’t even think of an answer. “What do you think, Y/N? I want to hear your opinion.”

Your brain is busy ogling Dean lying on his car, chest bare, and with a cocky smirk on his lips. It seems like he looks directly at you. He lies on his car, legs spread wide, and a cocky smirk on his lips.

“It’s provocative but very sexy,” you try not to sound like a creep. You like Dean, and don’t try to objectify him. “I mean…the woman will love it, some guys too…or a lot of guys.”

“Awesome,” Dean laughs and slams the laptop shut. “My job here is done. We will sell a shit-on of dildos with my name on it.”

“I guess you’re right,” you bite your index finger while fighting the urge to open the laptop to look at the picture one last time. “But don’t you hate it when people objectify you, Dean?”

“It’s for the business, sweetheart,” he pats your thigh. “My pretty face sells a lot of sex toys. I’m not ashamed of my job. I love it, to be honest. Your aunt saved me, and my life back then. I owe that I do my job with passion.”

“She must’ve really liked you, Dean,” your smile saddens. “I wish that I stayed in contact with her. Only because my parents told me to stay away I abandoned her while she never forgot about me.”

“Hey, she knew that it wasn’t you. Martha adored you, Y/N. She always told us that it’s not your fault that you didn’t stay in contact with her.”

“I should’ve Dean! I loved her and didn’t see her again,” you sniffle now. “I’m an awful person for letting her down!”

“You’re the great woman Martha told all of us about. Never believe for one second that you are a bad person.” Dean tuts and wipes a tear off your cheek. “Now relax. I’ll make you some food and take good care of you.”

“Dean,” you sigh deeply. “My parents found out that Martha left me everything she owned. They want to know about the stores.” You bite your lower lip, chewing on it. “How can I tell them I now own sex stores.”

“With a smile,” Dean is quick to reply. He shrugs and winks at you. “Martha was proud of all the goals she reached in life. She left everything to you, sweetheart. Do not disappoint her by acting like owning her stores is a bad thing.” Dean gets up from the bed to put the laptop aside.

“That’s not what I meant,” you hastily say. “I’m just not sure they will understand that I took over Martha’s business. They are very…” You sigh deeply. “Old-fashioned. I think Daddy will faint if he looks at our website.”

“I bet he’ll go and buy condoms or a dildo,” Dean smirks cockily. “Whatever floats his boat, you know. Just tell them you took over Martha’s business. Who cares what they think about it?”

“You make it sound so easy,” you look at his laptop again. “You’re so self-confident, and always know what to say.”

“Ah, you’re already enchanted by me,” Dean dips one knee into the mattress. He dips his head to steal a kiss. “I’m the sweet seducer, Y/N. You should be careful, or you’ll fall for me.”

You cup his face to kiss him again. “Maybe I already fell for you, Mr. Winchester.”

A virgin at a sex store (4)

Tags in reblog.

[wrrrenff]

Breaking The Ice: Chapter 2

Attack on Titan / Shingeki No Kyojin Levi Ackerman x F! reader Synopsis: You couldn't stop thinking about your hook up with Levi. But it seems like he'd forgotten all about it. You decide to clear your mind at the cafe around the corner

It’s been two weeks since your little fling with Levi. You found yourself often thinking back to that day, how good he made you feel. Maybe he was doing the same. Maybe not, considering he hasn’t texted you at all since giving him your number after the sexcapade. Though you tried not to, it was hard not to dwell on it. He seemed to like it and like you. Did you read it wrong? Your head was starting to hurt from thinking too much. So you decided you needed to distract yourself. 

You layed in bed and considered doing some work on your computer but figured you’d be too distracted at home. With a huff, you got up from your bed and grabbed your bag and your laptop. You needed to get some work done so why not get it done go to the coffee shop around the corner to do it! You could use some liquid pep right about now. Opening your bedroom door on your way to leave the house you spot your roommate watching TV in the living room. 

“Hey I’m headed out for a bit.” You waited for a response but your roommate, Jean, was too into whatever show. He waved his hand at you and made a noncommittal sound. With that, you were off. You considered driving to the coffee shop before remembering how bad the parking was. So, you decided to walk instead. It was nice outside so it wasn’t an unbearable trek. 

Walking into the cafe, you’re instantly hit with the smell of fresh roasted coffee and your mood immediately gets better. You surveyed the cafe and noticed it wasn’t busy at all. Just 3 other patrons scattered across the tables. Walking up to the counter you noticed Hitch was the barista working today. She always knew what you wanted before you even ordered, much like today.

“Y/n! Let me guess…” She put a finger up to her chin. “You want an iced latte and a croissant?” You contemplated for a moment before deciding that sounded good. “I don’t understand how you can always know what I want.” Hitch chuckled a bit before waving her hands around like she was about to cast a spell “Must be my psychic abilities!” You laughed and paid for your items before taking a seat at the small table in the back corner while waiting for it all to be ready.

A few minutes went by setting up your computer and hooking it up to  the wifi before your food and drink came out. You opened one of  the documents you needed to work on. ‘I love being able to work from anywhere’ you thought as you took in your surroundings. Troubling thoughts of Levi no longer plaguing you. You needed this. 

You took a sip of your drink and looked out the window by your table for a moment, just getting lost in the world outside.

.

.

“Don’t space out too much. Someone could have stolen your stuff.” You jump a bit at the sudden voice, sounding awfully familiar. You turned your head to see who spoke, but before your brain could register anything, they spoke again. “Long time, no see y/n.”

Your eyes bugged out of your head and you choked on your drink a bit. “L-Levi! What are you doing here?” As you try to collect yourself, Levi takes a seat next to you. “What, I can’t go out and get something to drink?” he said sarcastically and nudged your leg with his. You huffed and nudged him back. You weren’t sure what else to say to the man. He basically ghosted you and just when you’re trying to clear your mind of him, he comes waltzing back in your head. So, you decide to just start back on your work and give him the cold shoulder.

The dark haired man either didn’t care that you brushed him off or didn’t notice your suddenly frosty demeanor. Instead he took this moment to observe you. It had been a while since you two were together after all. And last time, he was focused on more… pressing matters. Taking a sip of his drink he looked you over. You were very put together, although he noticed this fire in your eyes. What was that fire for, however? Was it for him? For your work? He decided not to dwell on it at the moment.

Instead, he decided he wanted to see just what was keeping you so busy right now. Subtly, he leaned closer to you, looking over your shoulder at your screen. The act definitely did not go unnoticed by you. In fact, it sent shivers down your spine, but you chose to stay quiet. As Levi looked at your screen, squinting at the mumbo jumbo on your screen. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at exactly but it seemed really professional. He was quite impressed actually, that someone as young as you was doing work like that. 

He started taking another sip of his drink, trying to think of what to ask about your job before his thoughts were interrupted by muffled laughter. He looked at you, head tilted, stoney gaze, and a quirked eyebrow. ‘Damn he looks good’ The thought appeared but you quickly moved past it. “Why are you drinking your coffee like that?” Levi’s face contorted into defensive confusion. “First of all, tea, not coffee. Second of all, drinking it like what?” You laughed a little louder now while explaining. “Like this!” You mimicked the way he was holding the mug by the rim with his wrist pointed out. He looked from you to his hand and back to you. “This is how I’ve always held my tea. The one time I tried to hold the mug by the handle, it snapped. Never held it like that again.” Looking at his deadpan face, it was taking all of your will power to hold in your laugh at how serious he was about it. 

Deciding to move on from what was apparently a touchy subject for the man, you shrugged and went back to your work. “So what is it you’re doing anyways?” Levi gestured to the screen with his mug. Even though it was really tough to stay mad at him, you decided to still act stiff. “Just working.” Levi scoffed. “Working on?” He tried. “Stuff.” You kept your eyes glued to your screen. With a sigh, Levi put down his mug and faced you. You felt his eyes on you but stayed strong. That is, until he took hold of your chair and turned you towards him, forcing you to lock eyes with the older man.

“Okay, spill it. What's up with you?” You are trying to act oblivious. “I don’t know what you mean?” He really didn’t want to deal with this right now. You were acting like a kid. But something inside him kept him from walking away from you. “Why are you ignoring me?” You wanted to laugh. He wanted to know why you’re ignoring him?? After two weeks with not even a hello from him? “I just think it’s funny you say that when you’ve been doing the same.” Levi was confused again. “What do you mean?” You rolled your eyes. “Two weeks of radio silence?” You accentuated your point by picking up your phone and shaking it a bit. Levi’s confusion intensified at that. “I have texted you. A few times, actually.” 

Now it was your turn to look confused. Wordlessly, Levi pulled out his phone and showed you his text chain with you. All texts from his gone unread. You shook your head. “This can’t be right.” You pulled up your text history and showed him there was no evidence of him reaching out. The man’s eyebrows scrunched at this. “You gave me the right number, didn’t you?” You let out a dramatic laugh. Did he think you were an idiot? Who wouldn’t know their own phone number? “Yes, of course I did! Here, see-” As you pulled up your contact info in his phone and scanned it, you realized you had accidentally mistyped the last digit.  Your stomach sank. Deflated, you avoided eye contact. You tried to change the number to the correct number without him noticing.  “It was wrong, wasn’t it?” Levi deadpanned. Shit. He caught you. Still avoiding eye contact, you nodded. You couldn't believe that the reason for his avoidance, all of the sad feelings you felt thinking he wasn’t interested in you, were all because you were dumb and didn’t double check that you gave him the right number. You wanted to crawl under a rock right now. 

“That explains a lot actually.” He sighed and finished up his tea. He then put his hand on your arm and rubbed comforting circles in it. “Listen, why don’t we just pretend that didn’t happen and start fresh, okay?” You stared at him in awe for a moment. You can’t believe after all the dramatics you just pulled, he still wanted to do this, whatever ‘this’ was, with you. You gulped. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” Levi pet your head then fiddled with his phone before slowly leaning up right to your face. Your face heated. Was he going to kiss you? You closed your eyes, ready to feel his lips on yours when instead you heard him in your ear whispering “Check your phone.” with a dark, mischievous tone before getting up and leaving.

You watched him walk out, stunned at the events that just occurred. It was like emotional whiplash. After the door shut behind him, you finally got the courage to look at your phone and saw a notification that read ‘1 New Message’. You opened the notification, smiling at what you saw, thankful that your adventures with Levi weren't over yet.

555-6781: 81 Sina Road at 9 tonight. Don’t be late.

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Last Chapter - Next Chapter

[whumpshaped]

hey i’m really sorry if this is dumb but do you ever feel bad about enjoying whump? if so, how do you deal with it? i’m having a hard time with liking it. i love reading it but it occasionally makes me feel like a terrible person

its not dumb! i have some disorders that make it hard for me to feel bad abt stuff just for moral reasons alone, but i do get the terrible feeling sometimes when im afraid others will think im a terrible person lol if that makes any sense- so yeah i get the shame around it. i was lucky enough to be the quirky fun guy anyway so having slightly stranger interests wasnt a big deal for me.

this got very long bc i always have many thoughts on this

let me just start this by saying u totally dont have to feel bad for liking it. at all. everybody tends to like some form of whump, even if they dont call it that. the middle aged christian woman reading her 100th romance novel packed with fucking angst is an avid enjoyer of emotional whump in my book. and the guy who jokes about whump enjoyers being crazy and then turns around and watches marvel movies with blood and beat up heroes in it, well-

humans are just fascinated with pain. physical, emotional, all of it. it's just how we are, i think. we love to explore pain in fantasy, through characters separate from us, while we sit in our room comfortably (controlled danger! like rollercoasters). it can be cathartic. it can be how we find and understand ourselves. it can be comforting to know hey, this character went through something like that, that means the author must have some experience with it. there's at least one other human who gets me.

enjoying/reading/writing whump can be a perfect outlet, like hitting a punching bag repeatedly. it can be how someone digests their own trauma. it can just be a kink thing. it doesn't have to have deep moral things attached to it, sometimes seeing fictional characters hurt just tickles the brain and that's that. it doesn't matter, because it's all fictional, it doesn't hurt anyone. unless your preferred media is like, literal hate speech and propaganda against real life people, (in which case it DOES hurt ppl), there's literally nothing wrong with looking at a character being beaten and going "hey, thats cool".

also i will never not say this but even the fucken bible is straight whump and no one will ever change my mind. i tried to be a good christian and what did i find? whump.

also, there's like... a huge portion of people who read whump for the comfort of it. yes the character goes through shit, yes it's horrible, but guess what, they come out on the other side unquestionably changed but still worthy of recovery. they find peace, they heal, they find friends and family, they're comforted and listened to. that's something a lot of people read whump for. there's a reason it's called hurt/comfort. and there's also a very good post about how so many of us read it because the whumpees' trauma is always acknowledged. maybe not in the story, but we as readers understand that they went through some shit, and thus their trauma is always validated in some way. that can be a comfort as well, in a world where so many people's issues get brushed under the rug and ignored and overlooked and straight up invalidated.

but even if you're not into the comfort aspect (which i wasnt for a long time!!!!! i was strictly here for the hurt!!!!!!) you're not some sort of monster for it. i'd say quite the contrary. i'd say if you regularly engage with media like this, where the character's emotions are laid out so bare, and explored so deeply, you're more in tune with your own emotions too. i couldve punched holes in walls like some people i know (i have anger issues), but instead i grabbed my laptop and wrote about a character being beaten to a pulp. no damage to person or property. done. others read it and enjoyed it, and i even got serotonin from likes and reblogs, which lifted my mood, so that was a whole net positive.

seriously look at the most popular media too. it's whump. always has been. a good friend of mine whos a little weirded out by some of the gore i write is OBSESSED with game of thrones for example. and he recommended it to me because hey i love bloody stuff dont i? and i loved the torture scenes and he loved to hate and be enraged and a little grossed out by them. we enjoyed the series together. neither of us was terrible for it.

all this to say, you're not the odd one out. even if your interests count as more "taboo", like some of mine, unless you go out there and punch someone in the face, youre good in my books. and again, even punching someone in the face can be morally neutral or positive between consenting adults so. HUMANS JUST ENJOY EXPLORING PAIN. THATS MY HOT TAKE FOR TODAY.

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[garciaasfluffypen]

addiction

word count: 1.3k pairing: spencer reid x reader warnings: drug use (not explicitly written/described) 

a/n: sorry not sorry. this is also on my wattpad so if you feel like you’ve read it you probably have

spencer wasn't himself.

he was more jittery, sneaking off every now and then and it was getting on your nerves mainly because he wouldn't talk about it. so of course, in secret, you texted his boss to see if he had noticed anything different. hotch had told you that yes, he was acting different, and he feared that he was on drugs. after talking to hotch for a while, you decided to search his drawers.

was that a good idea? not in the slightest. were you doing it anyway? yes.

five minutes later you found the bottles of dilaudid in his drawer. you grabbed them and set them down on the kitchen table, opening your laptop and typing the name into google to read up on it. maybe this wasn't the reason he was off. maybe it was because he wasn't getting enough sleep or something mundane like that. you didn't want to think that spencer was taking drugs, but from what you had heard, tobias sent spencer down a dark path. it pained you to think about what spencer had gone through during those few days, and you didn't want to relive the pain you had gone through when garcia texted you that spencer was missing.

there was a click at the front door and you shut your computer, crossing and uncrossing your legs under the table as you tried to figure out how to start the conversation.

"y/n, i- what the fuck?!"

well, you thought, that's one way to start it.

"spencer, we need to talk."

"you went through my stuff!"

"i'm fucking concerned about you, of course i did!" you spat back, standing up and sending the chair flying across the wooden floor.

"you have no reason to be concerned about me."

your hands slammed down on the table. "yes i do! you're fucking on drugs, spencer."

it had been forever since you called him by his first name and only his first name. it sounded foreign coming from your lips.

"for the past four months you've been edgy, moody and all around not fun to be with. it's been a blessing when you're gone because i don't walk on eggshells when you're not here. but hotch sees it too. and so does the rest of the team, i'm presuming. you're fucking stupid, spencer. DRUGS? what on earth made you think doing an equivalent to morphine was okay?"

"you have no reason to be in my business-"

"yes i fucking do! i'm your girlfriend, spencer. i can be in your business all i want."

spencer ran a hand through his hair. "you could have at least asked me!"

"what, and have you dodge the question? tell me 'oh, i'm fine, i'm not on drugs!'  yeah, think again buddy."

spencer went to grab the vials off the table, but you were faster. you scooped them up from where they were sitting, turning around and throwing them against the wall and watching them break, the clear liquid sliding down the wallpaper as the glass shattered and fell to the floor. spencer ran over to where it had dropped, falling to his knees and slamming the floor with his fist.

"you have no idea what kind of damage you just did."

"hasn't this addiction done enough damage already?"

your voice turned quiet, your hands falling down just in front of your stomach as you played with them nervously. tears pricked at your eyes but you willed them back, telling yourself you were too strong to cry. you couldn't cry in front of him. not right now. not ever. and to be honest, you had gotten scared of him. scared of how his mood was going to be when he came home from a case, or how he was going to be when he woke up in the morning. it was always a game of "will he won't he", and you were fucking tired of it. and this was going to be the end of it.

"i almost left, while you were gone."

you swore you heard spencer choke back a sob.

"i uh- i was gonna go couch hop on my friend's couch for a while. i'm scared of you, spence. i am. before i found the-" you cut yourself off, not bearing to say the word out loud because that would make it real.

"y/n-"

"let me finish." you took in a breath. "i don't know which spencer i'm going to get anymore. and half the time, it's the mean spencer that scares me half to death. i don't sleep when you're here. i lay in bed, awake, waiting for you to do something you'd regret to me. i'm constantly on edge and i hate it. i hate this, i hate this apartment and fuck! i hate you so much!"

you fell to the floor, the tears you were trying to hide finally escaping. defeated, you curled in on yourself, almost mimicking the position spencer was in as his head poked up, staring at you with the first hint of concern you had seen in months.

"you need help, spencer. real help. i'm working with hotch to find a rehab group for you. but i need to know how much more of that is in the apartment."

"y/n-"

"i'm being serious."

"i'm not- i don't have any more."

"how much more is there, spencer?"

the silence in the room was tense, your voice cutting through the air like a knife in bread. it was at this moment, spencer knew he had fucked up. and it showed. his face fell, as if he were defeated, and he slumped down into a ball like shape as he fought with himself about telling you or not. you'd find it either way, you had quite a talent at finding things that were hidden. just like you found those three little bottles in his bedside table.

the three bottles that had almost broken your relationship.

"in my satchel."

his voice was high pitched, almost as if he were fighting back tears, much like you were moments ago. he slid the satchel to you, both of you staring at it as it sat on the floor.

"front left pocket, just under the flap."

"is that it?"

"yes."

you took the bottles from the pocket, counting another four. before you could even tell him to move, spencer rolled out of the way so you could throw them at the wall, destroying the vials for good. the two of you sat there, in the silence, contemplating what to do next.

"we should get that cleaned up."

spencer could only nod as he made his way to the bathroom, coming out moments later with a dustpan and broom. you went to the kitchen to get some paper towels, pausing with your back facing him. another moment of silence passed, the two of you standing on practically other sides of the apartment. the two of you cleaned in silence, both of you trying to find the right words to say but failing each time.

"i'm gonna go sleep at molly's for a while, just until you're okay enough. hotch is getting you set up with a rehab program, and he'll watch you while you're in it."

that was when spencer finally noticed the suitcase by the door, packed and ready to go.

"i'm doing this out of love, you know."

"i know." spencer's voice turned quiet this time. "'m sorry."

"its okay. i know you went through a lot."

"i shouldn't have put you through that-"

"you didn't know you were."

you shot him a sad smile, slipping on your shoes and grabbing the handle of your suitcase.

"i love you."

you could only stare at spencer's grief stricken face as he watched you leave, not even saying goodbye.

[videostak]

played thru sonic 1 tonight hooked up the old mega drive n played it was soooo nice idk mushy heart being employed nice relationship w/ my coworkers where i look forward to seeing them all but ya i havent played thru a game like that in so long i havent even played a game in like weeks but listening to lots of jazz n fusion made me start getting in a sega mood n now im using my laptop listening to jerma mario sunshine in the bg while i type (jerma mario sunshine n pikmin 2 are my comfort streams of his lol like it def evokes the same feelign of playing w/ a friend like i played thur mario sunshine w/ a friend a lil less than a year ago n its v much that vibe honestly i laugh my ass off so hard anytime im playing games like that w/ friends just anytime anything happens with the physics we burst out laughing so ya N E WAYS sonic 1 was so much fun its v chill like mario 1 well its harder than mario 1 for sure but more like dkc1 where ya it gets hard but never too hard like i havent rly seriously played a video gamee like that in forever so my chops are p weak but i could still beat it. i was sooo close to getting all the chaos emeralds but missed the last one T-T ive done it b4 but like i said my chops arent too strong but im gonna try againsomeday. anyways my laptop SUCKS so much i dont feel too guilty abt getting a new one cause like it is a necessity n i did get this one in like 2018 or smthn so its like a necessity im just gonna save up n set aside 300 dollars next few paychecks specifically for it n ease up on the CDs n food n stuff cause i love using laptop more than phone its just that this is soooo slow well once its on its p bearable to have two tabs open but like wheen i start it up it takes litrally forever for fireefox to connect to the intenet it just buffers for like 20 mins. or maybe ill set aside 400 a month idk ill seee i def gotta deeep deep clean my room and get a nice lil table to sit in my room n use the laptop n watch shows n movies on it on the regular ^_^ i srsly miss desktop n can understand why id stay up so late its a whole different n almost healthier world than the phone feels.

[rumblebumble22]

How to calm down when you are on the edge 

There are a lot of different techniques which are supposed to help people calm down. I don’t know who wrote this weird advices but it seems that I’m actually do something wrong, because most part of them don’t work for me. I mean, what the fuck? In a terrible rush I google something online and realised that every source try to offer me some bloody thing. Do you want an example? Okay, how about ‘’breathe deep’’? I honestly tried it, but it only caused hyperventilation and shaking state of mind. This reaction of my body led just to panic attacks in me, not less anxiety. I mean, what I did wrong? And what about this life hack: ‘’Squeeze some balls in your arms many times, it will help you to calm down’’. I did it, but my anxiety only became more intense. Did I choose wrong ball or what? Frantically squeezing something just let me in some wrong mood, like I’m trying to get the milk from the cow, you know. It’s totally not relaxing. This piece of advice sounded quite simple: 'Meditate'. I cannot meditate when I have terrible thoughts; instead, I focus even more on them. When I am messed up, the last thing I want to do is sit and try to meditate. Instead of calm and peaceful mood I just got in a total chaos. My thoughts become bump into each other, I feel weird and alienate, and how the fuck I should handle this? If I would be a monk maybe it will work; monks, at least, have in this some more practise. Okay, another recommendation is quite ridiculous: ‘’Eat well-balanced meals’’. I’m sorry, but when I feel stress I can’t even eat a stupid banana, not to mention a full meal. All what I can do is actually randomly put out of fridge the first sneak which I see or fiercely eat chips (it’s pop out only on a very high level of stress, though). Usually I just lose my appetite, simply drink litres of coffee and then run around as a hurt bear. After breakdowns like that I’m quite often hear compliments like ‘’Aw, you lose weight, you look good!’’. Yes, thank you, except the blues under my eyes and nervous attitudes, I look good, indeed.

I have my own recipes for relaxation and I can surely say that they work for me. Firstly, I totally recommend a cup of hot milk with cookies, a warm hoodie and wool socks. Get all this stuff together and put yourself in a warm blanket at the end. I promise, you’ll immediately feel more comfortable, though I don’t know how it’s work. Another thing which helps a lot is fresh air. If I don't want to walk, I just sit on the balcony and watch the sky and the mountains. Also, I notice people in other houses, their TVs, and shadows. It helps me to calm down and understand that I’m not alone in the world. But it is essential you don't use a phone or laptop; otherwise, the technique will lose its meaning. Just sit there, breathe, and look around. Sometimes I use an extreme technique: go to the hot bathroom and sit there for 1 minute (I can’t bear it anymore). If I stay longer, my blood pressure becomes too high and I feel really dizzy. However, one minute in the bathroom can make you feel alive and cheered up, at least for a short while. 

Reading books helps a lot too, as far as writing. When I immersed myself into some story or non fiction text, I just far away from my personal feelings; it distract me well. Writing helps also, but the one problem there is to start. I hesitate to write when I’m anxious, though, but if I finally start, hesitation fades with every minute. So if you inclined to books or writing, I totally recommend it to calm your mind.

Chatting with friends is also the thing which helps me to relax, but I found out that it works only if the connection is personal. Online chatting or calls don’t work like that, unfortunately. I thought about why it’s like that and came to the conclusion that human creatures still need others to feel better. Get a bottle of wine, some snacks and just be together and chat about random stuff. It’s working better than any advice before, though.

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

hey! im in the mood for some heavy angst. i love marriage angst. this may seem weird,, but tw: maybe like the reader has enough with how he’s treating her so she ~disappears~ if yk what i mean…

YOU LET HER GO

Miya Atsumu x Reader, Akaashi Keiji x Reader

WARNING: Angst, NO HAPPY ENDING, arguments, derogatory language, violence, fighting, neglect, a whole lotta hurt

A/N: Thanks for the request! I love writing angst but this made me so sad! But thank you so much for sending in your request! Take care, drink water! (The title was semi-inspired by Let Her Go by Passenger because as soon as I thought of it I thought of the song so enjoy that lol.) There is no happy ending in this, so read at your own caution!

MIYA ATSUMU

You love Miya Atsumu for his fire, for his passion.

His dedication to any and everything is apparent in everything he does.

He plays volleyball with a passion unlike any other, and well before he became a superstar on the court, you were captivated by his motivation.

And now, being married for over three years, you’ve watched first hand how his journey to stardom has changed him.

He’s even more passionate, and while that yields amazing results for his team and for his career, it’s detrimental to your marriage.

“God, can I even trust ya here alone?”

You roll your eyes so hard you’re worried that they’ll fall out of your head. “Atsumu, this isn’t the first time you’ve gone away for a stretch for a game. Why are you freaking out now?”

“Oh I don’t know!” Atsumu mock-asks. He’s angrily shoving clothes into his overnight bag, having to depart for an away game that will take him out of town for three days. “Maybe because you’ve been sneaking around me for weeks now, clearin’ yer history on yer laptop.”

“You’ve been going through my stuff?” You ask, incredulous. You had a perfectly good explanation for hiding your search history, but you couldn’t bring it up to your husband. It kind of ruins the whole surprise outing you’d been planning for weeks for your anniversary.

“Yer damn right I have!” Atsumu zips his bag shut, so hard you’re certain that the slider will fly right off the bag. “And makin’ secret calls to my own fuckin’ brother!”

“Jesus Christ.” You have been making secret calls to Osamu, but he was instrumental in pulling off your plan. After begging and pleading, your brother-in-law said he would help orchestrate the more elaborate parts of your plan, which included securing a reservation at Osaka’s fanciest restaurant through a connection and gathering their old high school team for a pick-up game of volleyball. You were indebted to Osamu, and he was sure to remind you every time you saw him.

“Atsumu,” You say now. “Please, I’m not cheating on you, or anything. I know you have to leave, but trust me.”

“How can I trust ya, when yer out whorin’ around behind my back!”

Atsumu’s response slaps you across the face as hard as a physical blow would. Even so, you stagger back, physically winded from the harsh words. You can’t even think of a response to your husband, who frankly has become so unrecognizable to you.

Gone is the man who sought no greater pleasure than being the best on the volleyball court, and treating you with the same love and devotion he treats his sport. You know that coming to the big league has changed Atsumu, since he wasn’t the only star player on the court anymore. He had to find alternative routes to get to the opposing team and, in his eyes, if that mean exploiting a nasty truth about a player’s personal life he had no problem utilizing that fact to dishearten them.

You hated it, and you told him it was malicious. He said it was part of the game. And despite your reservations, he never ever tried that with you.

But now, he did. Now, your husband of three years, boyfriend for three years before that, and your best friend for who knows how long, seeks to break you down like he does his opponent. Crush you and come out on top, for whatever asinine reason his brain is supplying him with.

You’re nothing more to him than a pawn in his game.

That’s the truth that keeps you from responding, that makes you sit down on your shared bed, feeling faint and nauseous at the charged and angry energy in the room.

Atsumu, still with a hard glint in his eye, smirks at you before shouldering his bag. He thinks he’s got you, and you can’t even begin to try and explain how wrong he is. “I have to go. Don’t think that we’re done talkin’ about this.”

With that he leaves, and from your spot on the bed you hear the front door open and slam shut. You can’t move, too stunned by the actions of the complete stranger you’re married to.

Maybe you’re too emotional, maybe you can’t think straight at the moment, but there’s really only one thing you can think to do.

~~~~~

Miya Atsumu unlocks the door to his apartment, tiredly shouldering it open before letting his bag fall at his feet. He sighs loudly, the events of the past 48 hours catching up to him - riding a cramped bus up north for six hours, playing a five-set match against the Adlers, after-party with fans and sponsors before a few hours of sleep, then a promotional camp held jointly with the Adlers for even more sponsors, before getting back on the bus for the ride home. He’s barely had any time to rest, nor any time alone from his loud and smelly teammates.

The only plus from the entire trip was pulling off a spectacular win against the Adlers, and Atsumu taking personal gratification from the murderous looks Kageyama sent through the net.

But now Atsumu is ready to take a long, hot shower and eat a delicious meal before collapsing in bed for hours. He’d prefer if you could join him for all three, but he’ll at least settle for dinner together before snuggles in bed. There are some things you both need to talk about.

Atsumu’s grown as a person to know that he owes you an apology. He flew off the handle last time you both spoke, and while his argument has solid proof he shouldn’t have gotten so angry. It’s almost instinct to him to seek weaknesses in his enemy and exploit them. But it took him the bus ride to Tokyo to realize how fucking dumb he was.

You weren’t his enemy, you were his wife. His partner, for better or worse. And yes, your secrecy is not shining a great light on the promises you made to each other in marriage, but he knows you would never cheat on him. Part of him thinks he’s just scared that he’ll be wrong, another part of him has no clue as to why he shuts down and becomes so angry he can barely think.

Although the idea of you sneaking off to be with Osamu is a pretty good trigger to cause a total Atsumu Meltdown, he reckons.

Now Atsumu just wants to be with you, share in your company and get to the bottom of this whole mess. And that starts with finding you and setting time to talk.

But you are nowhere to be found.

Atsumu has now circled the apartment several times, and it’s cold and lifeless. You’re not here, and it honestly feels like no one has been here for days now.

Atsumu sprints to the bathroom, and seeing an empty toothbrush cup confirms that you’re not here. Empty drawers in the bedroom confirm that you’re gone. A gold band sitting on the kitchen counter confirms that you’re not coming back.

Atsumu stands in the kitchen, starring down at the ring while his brain tries to process what’s going on. But instead of despair flooding his mind, anger fills in the vacant space. Red hot anger, the flames licking along his arms and legs, nearly consumes Atsumu. That fucking bitch is the mantra that echoes in his brain, compelling him to grab the ring and fling it across the room. It’s the feeling that fuels him to storm out of his apartment, run down the street and barrel into Onigiri Miya, ignoring the CLOSED sign hanging in the window.

Miya Osamu stands at the counter, wiping the surface with a rag, and becomes the perfect target for Atsumu to unleash his fury onto.

After all, he’s the one sleeping with his wife. His twin brother is the one who betrayed him. So why shouldn’t he get a nice punch to the face?

“Atsumu!” Osamu’s cry doesn’t stop Atsumu from propelling over the counter and tackling his brother, sending them both crashing to the ground. They struggle together, but Atsumu has Osamu’s confusion on his side and is able to land several good hits before Osamu shoves him to the ground.

“What the hell has gotten into ya?!” Osamu screams, working to grab Atsumu’s arms and slow his barrage.

“I should be askin’ ya the same think you piece of shit!” Atsumu snarls, working to release his arms from Osamu so he can continue his barrage. “What the fuck are ya doin’, sleepin’ with YN?”

“WHAT?!” Osamu’s caught off guard yet again and Atsumu is able to push him back to the ground and kneel on his chest. Atsumu punches his brother’s face several times, not satisfied with the blood pouring from his nose or the pained grunts coming from his face. Atsumu isn’t sure what will satisfy him at the moment, but pummeling his brother will help him find the answer.

“Yer fuckin’ YN behind my back! I know about the calls! I know about YN sneakin’ around! I know about her clearin’ her search history!” Every bulleted point is paired with a punch to Osamu, and Atsumu feels a small amount of satisfaction at the swelling already on Osamu’s face.

“I’m not sleepin’ with YN!” Osamu coughs out. Atsumu can tell Osamu is trying to yell back but can’t get out more than a hoarse shout. “I’m helpin’ her!”

“With what?”

Osamu struggles with Atsumu some more, but his movements are so weak that it doesn’t take much for Atsumu to shove his arms away. Osamu coughs out again. “M’ helpin’ her surprise ya! For yer anniversary!”

That brings Atsumu up short and he finally halts in his motions. His brother tries to push him off, but his arms barely move Atsumu off his chest.

But Atsumu is far away, not paying attention to Osamu’s feeble attempts to move him. No, he’s far far away, completely lost in the fact that you were trying to do something for him. An elaborate surprise to celebrate your shared anniversary. You weren’t cheating on him, you were going around with Atsumu.

He was wrong.

It’s happened before, but not like this. He’s made errors when calculating where to send a serve, or who to send a spike to. Those mistakes seem so insignificant, in comparison to this.

“How can I trust ya, when yer out whorin’ around behind my back!”

The disgusting retort, made in the height of his anger, was so wrong. Not just factually wrong, but so inappropriate for a husband to say to his wife. He was so sure he’d caught you, but he was so wrong.

What is wrong with you? Atsumu wants to scream at himself, the nasty part of him that spews such awful accusations to you, or beats his own brother bloody and bruised. He has to find someone to blame, someone has to be accountable for such heinous actions.

But it’s him. It’s Miya Atsumu who was in the wrong. He’s made a drastic error, one that he doesn’t think he can come back from.

AKAASHI KEIJI

Texts left on read, phone calls unanswered.

Your husband Akaashi Keiji is a workaholic.

Not necessarily by choice, definitely not by desire.

But he’s honored bound to work hard and finish a job.

It’s admirable, and he brings home a steady paycheck to contribute to your shared funds.

This is nice, but what would be nicer is some time and attention from your husband.

And on the one day it counted most, he disappoints you, and you’re at the end of your rope.

Akaashi pushes open the door, and it’s not until he closes it shut that he notices how quiet it is.

It’s weirdly quiet.

It’s strange, because when he comes home you’re either watching TV or finishing dinner. He’s caught you dancing around the house to your shared wedding song. He remembers wanting to join you but he was so tired that night that he went to sleep instead.

But maybe you were just finishing up dinner, so he wanders into the kitchen. A faint smell, still delicious, guides Akaashi through the house. He sighs in relief - it’s been awhile since you’ve put together a nice meal for the both of you. Akashi’s excited to sit and share dinner with you.

But to his growing confusion he comes across an empty kitchen. There’s a lot on the stove, upon further inspection shows a now-cold homemade curry. The rice cooker on the counter is still on, left in ‘keep warm’ mode. The table is set, the nicest dinnerware you both own set out - from the polished silverware to the stacked plates. Two candles sit on the table also, both slightly burned down but now extinguished.

Not only is Akaashi horribly confused, he’s growing concerned. There’s the smallest thought in his head, picking and poking at his brain. It’s quite annoying but for the life of him he can’t imagine what this little thought is trying to tell him. He decides to look for you and try to get some answers.

It’s not until he walks by the bathroom door, freezes in his tracks, turns around quickly and stops in the doorway that the confusion ebbs away into fear.

All of your toiletries from your side of the counter are gone. All of the products from your facial care regimen, your toothpaste, your toothbrush. Akaashi never had even half of what you had on the bathroom counter, but his few items scattered around look comical compared to the vast emptiness on the other side.

She’s g-

Akaashi doesn’t let himself finish that thought before he’s running to the bedroom. Even before flipping on the light he can see the gaping holes in the closet where your clothes once hanged. But he still sprints over to the small room to confirm that yes, all of your clothes are completely gone. His heavy breathing fills the space as his thoughts race past each other faster than before.

She’s gone, he thinks wildly. Why is she gone?

Were you finally sick of his long days at the office? Did he not pay enough attention to you? Akaashi just assumed that you were fine with his workaholic tendencies - it’s been like this for so long he can’t imagine you would have put up with it.

What was the breaking point?

Akaashi steps out of the closet, and a small object catches his eye. There’s an envelope on the bed, addressed to him. He picks it up, terrified by the weight it holds. Like it’s more than just a simple letter left behind. He pries it open and pulls out the paper. On it is two simple words that absolutely shatter his world.

Happy Anniversary.

He blinks. There’s no way it’s your anniversary. He wouldn’t have forgotten a day so important to you, to him. But sure enough, pulling out his phone to confirm the date, he did.

Ah, the breaking point. Akaashi thinks to himself madly.

He’s still holding the envelope in his hand when he realizes that the envelope isn’t empty. With a shaking hand he reaches in and pulls out the cool metal of your wedding band.

Dropping to his knees, Akaashi begins to cry as he realizes that he’s lost the greatest love of his life. The vows he swore to you on the day he put this ring on your finger were just empty promises. Unintentional empty promises, but preventable. And now you’re gone.

Taglist (Crossed out cannot be tagged): @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @ara-mitsue @meianshugoswife @amarinthe @savantsoulfinder @iamapotat @myasaaaam @jellien @rntrsuna

[hiphop-rap-and-basketball]

Ya lil’ Glasses | LaMelo Ball One Shot

Pairing: LaMelo Ball x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,588

Summary: You and LaMelo Ball both attend UCLA for undergrad. Of course he happens to be that hype kid the class that’s loud with his friends. You both get paired up to do a project together for the class. He’s kind of mean and pokes fun and although he gets on your last nerve, you may or may not find him just a little tiny bit cute. Maybe.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, mentions of sex, female and male anatomy, orgasm control, possibly cliche, M/F.

A/N: damn forgive me it’s been a while since I’ve written smut, butttt I’m on a roll with writing lately soo that’s not stopping me. Let me know what y’all think ;) enjoyyyyy and happy reading

•••

You cannot believe you were paired up with Melo Ball for the most important assignment of this course for the semester. Yeah, it’s UCLA but they really just let any good sports player in and you cared about your education. He did not. All he did was mess around and crack jokes

with his friends in the class. Imagine acting like that in college, couldn’t be you.

When it came down to finally finding a time to work on it together, you could not wait to get it over with.

The first time you met with him for the project was in the common hall. You both settle down in your chairs and you pull out your laptops. As soon as Melo pulled his stuff out, he hopped on his phone.

“Can we just come up with an idea and be done today?” You ask, not really in the mood to ask for his full attention.

He looked at you before clicking his phone off and licking his lips.

“Yeah sorry, sorry, I gotchu.”

You cannot help but roll your eyes. He sits there in silence for a moment and actually starts shooting out ideas. You start writing them down until you finally agree on one.

“I think that’s a pretty good start,” you say, proud you guys at least got something down.

“I think so too. What you doing after this?” He asks, running his hands over his curls.

“Track practice at 4, shower, hopefully dinner after,” you say as you close up your laptop.

“You run track? Running is gross,” he laughs.

“How you gonna say running is gross when all you do is run up and down the court?” You ask, a little too loudly, someone shushes you and you both crouch down and begin whispering.

“Basketball is more than that,” he shot back, “you wouldn’t know.”

“Oh here we go, you all say that,” you respond, flicking your wrist at him.

“You all?? What that mean?” He asks.

“As in all the basketball players,” you laugh.

“Yeah yeah, you let me know when track become a real sport,” he fires back.

“It is!” You slam your fist on the table and he smirks, as if he is happy to get you all riled up.

“Mhmmm,” he replies.

“Over this conversation,” you say, getting up and throwing your backpack over your shoulder.

“When you trying to meet next?” He asks calmly, standing up close in front of you. You were looking up at him now, him being more than a foot taller than you made you feel small.

“I’m free all afternoon Wednesday, my class ends at 12:45p.m.”

“You would know when your class ends, nerd.” He responded.

You cock a brow at his attempt at a roast.

“Shut up,” you responded.

“Wednesday at 2p.m. Your dorm. How’s that sound?” He smiles.

“That works,” you shrug. He smiled at you before walking away. You both go your separate ways.

Wednesday came around quickly. Your head hurts today, so you decided to put your glasses on instead of wearing contacts. Even though you knew that would not help you deal with Melo’s bs. He was extra unfocused today.

“How was your dayyy?” He asked as he walking into your dorm room. He looked huge walking through the door it was kind of funny actually.

“Fine, and yours?” You ask, feeling obligated to do so since he asked you first.

“It was alright, better now that we are here working on our project together bestie,” he jokes, plops himself down on your bed to make himself comfortable. You sat on your desk chair facing him.

You caught up with a couple ideas and worked on some your work, actually getting something done, for now.

You had to show each other your screens, so you awkwardly sat next to him on the bed. He sat up. The two of you now with your backs up against the wall and feet hanging off the bed. You sit in silence for a moment.

“I like ya lil glasses, can I try them on?” He asked, smiled and looking in your direction now.

“N-“ before you could answer, he already swiftly pulled them off your face and put them in his anyway. You roll you eyes.

“Do I look smart?” He asked with the cheesiest smile on his face.

“You look stupid,” you reply coldly, although you secretly kind of liked how they looked on him. They fit his face well.

“I think you’re mad they look better on me,” he replied with a scoff.

“You’re sooo annoying,” you reply. Surprisingly feeling yourself fight a smile. “Can you focus please?”

He does the opposite of focusing, eyes looking around your dorm room for a moment.

“Have you ever had sex with a guy? Are you even straight,” He asked, catching you off guard. You took full offense to his question. Not because of him questioning your sexual orientation, but rather him thinking that was his business.

“That’s a personal question,” you respond quickly.

“Seriously? You have this single dorm all to yourself. You don’t even use it to its full benefits. You know how many girls I’d be bringing over if I lived in a single,” he tossed his pencil up in the air and caught it as he spoke.

“I’m here for my sport and to learn, not everything in college is about seeing how many people you can have sex with, Melo.” You responded, typing away at your computer.

Melo slowly lifted your computer off your lap, placing it on the opposite side of him.

“Hey-“ you reach out your hand to it. The room suddenly feeling a lot smaller than it was now that his face was right next to yours and you had nothing to do to keep your hands busy.

“Have you ever even kissed a guy?” He asked, you loosen up at his tone, which oddly enough seems a bit more sincere now.

“Um, no, no actually I haven’t,” you responded quietly, looking down on your lap.

“I don’t believe that.” He responded. “Stop lyin.”

“It’s true,” you shrug, throwing your hands up in defeat.

“You’re so pretty,” he smiles, making your heart skip a beat or two, but you’re usual chatterbox brain was too nervous to agree.

“Beauty standards have nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t kissed anyone yet. I simply choose not to settle-“

He cuts you off by grabbing the back of your neck with his large hands and pulling you in for a kiss. It lasted for what felt like forever but it was only about 10 seconds. Although you were surprised, you did not want to fight it, and you even found you hands settling on top of his shoulders before he pulled away.

You stared at him for a moment, wondering what in his right mind made him want to do that.

“Anyway, I’m ready to focus now,” he smiled, got up and sat in desk chair you were sitting in first.

You sat there eyes wide, trying to process what just happened.

“Um.. yeah… yeah okay,” you say slowly.

You sat there and decided to not acknowledge what just happened as well. Trying to focus on your work, you could not help by to continue replaying that moment in your head. The kiss on repeat for a while. A couple days even. You saw him in class and he was so nonchalant about it. It started to bother you.

It took everything in you not to ask him about the kiss. Not wanting to seem desperate but at the same time what the fuck. That caught you off guard completely.

The next time you too worked together, you worked in his dorm. His roommate was in there with you guys, engaging in the occasional conversation with the two of you.

This time, you actually cared about how you looked, wearing a little make up and wearing a floral sundress that stopped midway on your thighs.

When you walked up to the door, Melo looked you up and down for a moment before letting you in. He had shorts on with no shirt. His athletic build made your cheeks turn hot and look at the ground quickly.

“Welcome in,” he gestured. You walk in and it looks just as you thought a guys dorm room would look like. A damn mess.

You watched him with his back turned as he stood by his closet of clothes, muscles taut as he pulled a new shirt over his head.

You shuffled to get your stuff of your backpack out before he caught you staring and got to work.

His roommate was cute, and you did not care that you were flirting it up with him right in front of Melo. He kissed you with no explanation. You were determined to figure out why.

“Alright, I’m heading to the gym,” his roomie stated and you smile.

“Have funn,” you reply. You watch him walk out the door, looking down at your lap to flatten your dress then look back up at Melo. His face very clearly annoyed and unamused.

“What?” You smirk, asking in an oh-so innocent tone.

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head in response.

“Oh yeah?” You ask. “You sound a little pressed.” You push, big smirk on your face as you spoke.

“I’m good,” he replied coldly.

You confidently put your hand on his shoulder and replied. “Okay,” in a sarcastic tone.

He was not fucking with that. He pulled your arm down from his shoulder and pulled you into a kiss, this being your second time feeling his lips on yours. This one was more intense. You remember thinking of his lips and how they felt from the last kiss. Feeling them again made your heart pound with excitement.

“Shut up and don’t make me admit to jealousy,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m not giving you the satisfaction.”

His hands gripping the back of your hair and he spoke, eyes bouncing from your eyes and lips.

“Hmmm, I think you just did,” you nod your head and shrug your shoulder. He was not having your sarcastic tone. He pulled you closer to him, this time he was laying down and you were sitting top of his lap. He refused to break the kiss, hands from down your neck to your lower back.

In your mind, you were strategically making sure you were right on top of his dick. His lips felt so good to feel again. You were so lost in the heat of the moment now, as he began using his tongue in your mouth, you let out a small moan for the first time.

He let go of the kiss for a moment and smirked.

“I wanna hear your beautiful moans,” he admitted, voice deep and full of lust.

He flipped you over and now your body was underneath him on his bed. You lied down flat on your back. He hovered himself over you.

Kissing you a couple times more, before kissing his way down your neck and stopping at your breast.

“You knew what you were doing wearing this shit,” he stated sternly.

You roll your eyes, “shut up.”

“You gon stop giving me that smart mouth,” he replied, smirk on his face before making his way down further. Your heart beating even fast now. He lifted up your dress to find you only in a thong.

He quickly looked up you with a smirk on his face, shook his head and carried on. Yanking your panties off, his lip made their way to your clit like a magnet.

You moaned softly at the pleasure, in fear that someone might hear the two of you.

“What if he comes back?”

“I don’t give a fuck, he could watch,” his voice low and eyes hooded, way too focused at the task at hand to even look at you.

Licking and teasing at your folds, you feel yourself getting closer due to all the tension you had built up since you arrived to his dorm, your mind flashing the sight of him when you walked when he was just no shirt on. His dick print very clear through his shorts.

As you felt yourself getting close to the edge, he stopped, and looked up at you.

“Whyyy,” you groaned put your hands over your face in frustration.

“Because, you was talking all that shit,” he said with one finger in your folds as he rubbed it slowly.

“Please,” you said and his surprised eyes look into yours.

“Nope,” he smirked. Now you were not having it.

You reach down to his shorts and very clearly feel his hard member. You looked up at him with pleading eyes as you began to rub it slowly.

He leaned down and started kissing your neck. You and him both knew he did not want this to stop, and he was fighting with every ounce in his bones not to rip your dress off and fuck you right then and there.

But you knew how to get what you wanted.

“Then it’s my turn,” you smile, pushing him off you and getting down on your knees on the side of his twin sized bed.

Knowing you have never done this before, you were slightly worried you would not be that great at it. You moistened your mouth as you pulled his shorts down, you did not have anything to compare his size to, but you were guessing it was bigger than average.

You admired it for a moment before taking it into your mouth. You heard him suck in his teeth as you took a few licks.

“What’s the matter?” You ask innocently looking up at him through your lashes while you swirled your tongue around the tip.

He bit bottom lip threw his head back, you knew that no answer meant that shit was hitting.

“Keep doing that shit with your tongue,” he groaned quietly.

You keep going at it for a while, and stopped when you felt him starting to thrust into your mouth.

“That’s it,” he groaned as he pulled you on the bed, you watched as he began to slowly push himself inside of you, wincing at the pain, he went slow and you warmed up. He looked so good while he stroked you. You started to feel better and better. He watched you as you took all of him now and proudly.

“I told you to stop talking all that shit,” he groaned.

“I don’t regret it,” you smirk.

“You bout to,” he stated as he began to speed up the pace.

You moaned louder as he continued to thrust into you. You could not believe this moment was actually happening. Him giving into it fed into your pride.

You watching at he admired every ounce of body, gripping and tugging at your soft spots. He held your hips as he picked up the pace.

He pulled out and finished himself off on your stomach. You lay there feeling a mess, he gets a towel and you guys get yourselves together throwing the occasional smirk at each other.

“You look so pretty taking this dick,” he stated, grabbing your neck and kissing you slowly. You smiled into the kiss.

“I’ll do it again,” he confirmed, both hands holding your face as he kissed you hard, tonguing you down.

“Chillll,” you laugh. “Let’s get this damn assignment going already.”

[lollypopsx]

What if one day Harry had told Charleigh to get something done by the time he got back home from work. Harry has a bad day at work and when he gets home, he finds that Char hasn't done what he told her to do and he really scolds her. What he doesn't know is that she's on her period and had bad cramps so she couldn't move. Charleigh feels horrible and she cries, saying she'll do it right way and when she gets up the heating pad falls off from her stomach and Harry connects the dots. He feels sooooo guilty. Then he apologizes and tells her he had a bad day, Charleigh of course forgives him and suggests that they should have ice cream and cuddles cause it makes everything better.

Masterlist

----

"Cherry, are you awake?" Harry knocked gently on her bedroom door.

"Yeah" She grumbled tiredly as she sat up in bed, rubbing her tired eyes as she sat up in bed, it was half term for the 16 year old while they were both home in England for a little while, so for her to still be in bed at 9am, wasn't really an issue.

He opened the door slowly. "I'm off to work, are you sure you don't want to come with me today?" He asks gently, leaning against the doorframe with his keys twirling around his fingers.

He was in a tight white shirt, with grey joggers and some sunglasses perched on his head too. His jacket thrown over his shoulder and his phone tucked into his pocket.

"Mmmm, I'm sure. I just want to stay in today" She smiles tiredly. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Alright darling, if you're staying here can you tidy up the kitchen, put the washing on, and there's a load of boxes in my office of yours. Stuff that's been sent from your clothing deal that you need to put away in your closet. Did you clean the bathrooms yesterday?"

"I will. No I didn't have time. I'll do that today as well" She reaches up to open her curtains slowly, the grey clouds and pattering of rain against the window didn't let much light into the room, but it made a slight difference.

"Okay baby, be good. Phone me if there's any problems, and if I don't answer, phone Jeff" He leans down, presses a kiss to her head and leaves.

---

Household chores had always been done fairly evenly between the two of them, Harry of course tended to do more than Charleigh because of her going to school, but what she had to do was fairly minimal.

It was 10am when she sat up in Harry’s office, typing away on the computer to finish off her English homework essay, she began to feel a dull, aching sensation in her stomach. 

Her little bathroom trip confirmed her suspicions. Period. Great.

She groaned softly as she slumped back into Harry’s office, determined to finish her essay before the afternoon hit so that she could get her household tasks done but when she felt her eyes becoming itchy and her brain feeling fuzzy, she knew she needed to stop her work.

Charleigh made her way to the bathrooms, cleaning them as best as she could, but as the day crept on, her period pains were causing more and more issues and all she wanted to do was sit with a hot water bottle and a blanket on the sofa.

She knew her Dad wouldn’t mind. He was always very understanding especially when she was on her period and she knew she would do it tomorrow. And she wasn’t wrong, of course Harry would be understanding and let her do it tomorrow...but maybe not today.

Today, everything was going wrong for Harry at work, and for him to come home in a bad mood was a very rare situation.

“I’m home” Harry called out, grumbling as he chucked the keys on the side, coming in and seeing Charleigh watching TV with her blanket around her.

“Hi, how was work?” She looks up at him tiredly, with red ringed eyes.

“I don’t even want to talk about it. You look tired. Tired yourself out today?” He kisses her head gently as she just nodded silently and he headed upstairs.

His hopes to just put his work folder and laptop in his office then have a bath and have a very calm night, were soon dismantled when he opened his office door and immediately tripped on a box, which he hadn’t expected because he had told Charleigh to put them away.

“Fuck!” He groans, feeling the rage in his stomach. “Charleigh!!” Harry’s voice bellowed as he stormed down the stairs, in a manor that Charleigh wasn’t expecting.

“I told you to put those bloody boxes away!! I cant even get I to my own bloody office in my own bloody house!! Did you even clean the kitchen?!” He raises his brows.

“N-no I-” She jumped slightly, her eyes widening in shock at the outburst.

“Of course you didn’t! I’m sick of you treating this house like a damn hotel! I ask you to do a few things around the house and you can’t even do that! You’ve been home all day, and doing what?! Oh yeah. Absolutely nothing. I’m tired of this behaviour Charleigh!” He rants on and on, pacing around the living room as she sat sheepishly on the sofa, hugging the blanket close to her.

She had felt so tired, drowsy and in pain all day, that she’d honestly forgotten about everything Harry had asked her to do. Her Dad shouting at her was another thing which was a rare occurrence. Yes, he was stern and firm a lot of the time, but he wasn’t one to shout. And usually when Harry’s voice was raised, Charleigh’s voice matched his volume.

But today, instead of shouting angrily back at him, the hormonal tears began to spill quickly from her eyes. “I-I’m sorry...I’ll d-do it now” She whimpers softly, pushing the blanket off and as she stood, her fluffy hot water bottle fell onto the floor, catching Harry’s eye.

His anger and sternness instantly disappeared as he took a deep breath, guilt trickling into him as he realised he had taken his bad day and foul mood out on his daughter, who really didn’t deserve that. 

“Cherry, I’m sorry...fuck. I’m so sorry, I should never have...” His eyes went from the floor, up to meet hers, a lump instantly forming in his throat as he watches the tears fall.

He immediately walks to her and wraps his arms around her protectively. “I’m so sorry...I really shouldn’t have spoken to you that way” He frowns, squeezing her tightly.

“D-do...do you really think that about me?” She mumbles sadly into his shoulder, hugging him tightly but still feeling a pang of hurt. 

“What? No! No, of course not! Never! I just...I had a bad day, and I took it out on you, and that was wrong of me. Please forgive me” He whispers, stroking her hair gently.

She nods quietly. “It’s okay...now I know how you felt before when I’ve done it to you” She smiles sadly with a sniffle.  “I’ll go and do those boxes so they’re out of the way”

“Hey, they can wait. What I really want more than anything right now is to sit with my daughter on the sofa, watch a shit film and at some food” He smiles softly, rubbing her back gently as she nods.

Harry kicked his shoes off and laid back on the sofa, Charleigh squishing herself between him and the back of the sofa, her head on his chest and his arm around her, with the blanket over them and keeping the hot water bottle close to her stomach.

“I’m sorry darling, I really am” He whispers sadly, brushing her hair gently between his fingers. 

“Don’t be...it’s okay Dad, I promise” She gives him a reassuring smile as she pinches his phone and went straight onto just eat.

“There’s only ever one time of the month where all you want is Mexican food...” Harry chuckled softly as she grinned,

“Taco’s?”

——————

Tag List: @harryhoney-bee - @sunandherflores - @stylessupremacy - @damnasstyles - @awesomebooklover17 - @hazgoldenstyles - @evanjh - @harrysbracelet - @nerdypartytrashpsychic - @harryssweatcreaturee - @hibaiqbal12 - @ayeshathestyles - @michellekstyles - @rach2602 - @randomwriter1021 - @elizabethrosecresswell - @izziestyles - @florencepughily - @finelinevogue - @justalostgirl - @watermelonlovershigh - @harrys-cherrry - @crustyblackvans - @kaitieskidmore1 - @vanteguccir - @vodka-popsicles - @emlovesharrystyles - @candystar288 - @somanyfandomsbruh

[cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc]

One more time

Summary: Alex regrets ever saying yes. All he wants is a second chance.

Trigger warning: Mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, swearing, angst

Author's note: my first piece off hiatus !! - you're a twitch streamer in this fic but it won't come up too much :) hope u like it <3

Based on: Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS

you sigh. your ex-boyfriend called again. you've been ignoring your phone for 5 minutes now. was he really this desperate?

you pick up your phone and slide the green button.

"what do you want, alex?"

"___, you picked up!"

he sounded extremely relieved, like he needs you to breathe.

"i did, now what do you want?"

alex sighed and leaned on a wall in his bedroom.

"can i come over? there's some stuff i still need to pick up."

you suck in a breath sharply. the air is thick and tense.

"no."

you clench the phone you were holding and bit your lip.

"i don't want to see you right now."

alex closed his eyes and pushed himself off the wall.

"i understand, you need time."

there was silence for a moment. neither of you wanted to say anything.

"if you want to come over that bad you can get your things tomorrow morning."

"sounds good. i'll be there around 11, okay?"

"fine."

"good-"

you ended the call.

"-bye..."

alex let his arm drop beside him. his eyes were watering, but he wiped it away with the sleeve of his hoodie.

it's his fault, he knew. but why is he still so upset? he shouldn't feel like this - it's is his own doing, after all.

~

you open the door to your home. alex was standing on the porch with a few empty bags in hand. the morning sun blinded you slightly, making you squint at the man in front of you.

"hi ___."

"hello, alex. all your belongings are on the couch.

"great, thank you."

~

he looks over as he's folding a shirt.

"what are you looking at?"

you say without looking away from your laptop.

his face was getting red slightly from embarrassment.

"nothing, you seem busy."

alex directed his eyes back to the clothes in front of him.

"otherwise you would've said something about me."

alex snickered slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

you sigh, holding your face in one of your hands.

don't say it. ___, keep it in. there's no point in fighting him. ___-

"if i wanted to make a comment it'd be about the fact you can't keep your dick in your pants."

god damn it, why did you do that?

he fell quiet. you hated his guts, but even you felt kind of bad for being so blunt with it.

a part of you still loved him. his loud, yet charming laugh. his sweet kisses. his adorable clinginess. his blushing face when you teased him.

you shake your head, trying to physically get rid of your pity for him. he doesn't love you anymore. he shouldn't, and neither should you.

~

after filling the bags with alex's belongings he stood up and wiped his forehead. you waver from your work and look him up and down.

"you done?"

you asked him. he turned around and gave you a weak smile.

"yeah, i think so."

"good, you know the way out."

you turn back to your computer.

"___, wait. can i ask you something?"

you make eye contact with him, fully aware it makes him nervous.

"what do you want?"

alex took a quick breath.

"can we talk sometime?"

you look at him like he spoke an alien tongue.

"why the hell would i?"

"i want to talk about what happened between us. i hate that our relationship is so sour."

he set a step forward.

"i just want this to end peaceful - or at least neutral."

"why the fuck would i want to be peaceful with you of all people?"

"i hate ending things on the wrong foot, you know that."

alex stands his ground, making you livid.

"then we make up, and then what? you'll just break my heart again!"

you stand up, simultaneously pushing the chair away with your legs.

"then i can lay awake and think about why i even let you inside my house again in the first place?!"

if looks could kill, alex would be on the floor.

"fine. if you don't want to, then i guess everything will just stay the way it is."

alex turned around and grabbed his bags. there's no way he's getting through to you right now.

"oh, so now it's my fault?"

you slam your laptop and walk away from the table.

"well, i'm so sorry for being angry at you for cheating on me!"

you don't hold your anger in anymore, he crossed the line.

"i never said that, ___!"

alex yelled to match your energy.

you took a step back. the audacity to yell at you in your house.

"out. now."

alex grabbed the second bag of clothes and without a word walked to the front door.

"goodbye, ___."

alex pushes the door open and steps outside. you go after him but stop at the doorstep.

"fuck you!" you sob out. you grab the doorknob and slam the door shut.

your knees slowly got weaker and you sit against the front door, shutting your eyes.

~

it's been a month since you've seen alex. you've blocked him on everything since then.

you were doing a q&a on your twitch channel and everything was going well. chat was filled with questions and you answered the one's you could.

your thoughts were somewhere else, though.

you still miss him, you really did. alex used to watch your streams all the time. he sent you donations with cheesy pick-up lines, he called you during streams to make fun of you for dying in a game or just to chat while he's bored.

but that didn't happen anymore.

you realize you haven't said anything in a while and you apologize. your chat was spamming purple hearts and 'are you okay?'

"ah, sorry everyone, i'm still tired from yesterday. i think i'm going to end the stream for today, thank you all for coming!"

after saying goodbye you turn off your computer.

why are you still so obsessed over him?! he cheated on you! he even tried to cover it up with a bullshit story about "not being the first to kiss her," and "she forced me to," like someone would believe a lie like that.

yet, you still love him. something inside you wants to believe him, like he really was telling the truth.

~

the next morning you open twitter and scroll for a bit. you made a tweet earlier in which you stated you weren't going to stream today.

you looked at the trending topics and saw your name in bold letters. you clicked on it and read the first tweet that popped up.

'i really hope ___ is doing better, they looked so sad on stream :('

an image was attached to it - a screenshot from the stream you did yesterday where you were mindlessly staring at your computer screen.

you sighed. at least they're not thinking too deep about this.

you scroll further down, replying and liking a couple tweets saying you were alright, thanking them or cracking a joke. this should keep them off your back for a while.

after scrolling for a bit one tweet catches your eye. you clutch your phone as you read the comment.

'kinda obvious they miss quackity :/ it's a good cover-up story tho '

~

alex was staring at his ceiling. he'd seen the tweets about you - about him.

he hates this feeling. he hates the fact that he knows what you're thinking. he hates that he knows it's his fault. he didn't mean to. he didn't.

"come on, alex. you know you want it." the woman said.

"i told you, no! i have a partner!" alex pushed her away for the second time, trying to find a way past the girl and out of this small alleyway. he should've never gone to this stupid bar.

"tch, whatever. but know you'll regret rejecting someone like me!" the girl pushed him to the brick wall and fixed her dress as she walked away.

alex fixed himself for a minute and walked past the bar and into his car. he pulled out his phone and shot you a quick text.

'hey bb i'll be over in a few :)'

'don't come back.'

you responded almost immediately. alex froze as he looked at the screen.

'wdym?'

'you know damn well why'

you sent him a photo of him next to the bar in the alley. the girl was all over him while her lips connected lustfully to his.

'it isn't what it looks like, i didn't start any of this!'

you don't respond. alex tries to send you another text when an error pops up.

'unable to send message. user has blocked you.'

~

you hover your hand over your phone's keyboard. you thought anbout alex's offer to talk, and decided that maybe it was a good idea after all. you couldn't get your mind off him, you thought that hopefully getting some closure could help.

but how were you going to ask him? 'hey, i know i blocked number like a month ago but can you to meet me at some random park? see you there!'

after typing and deleting multiple texts you eventually landed on a message.

'hey alex, i've been thinking about your offer to talk it out, and i wanted to ask if you're still up for it?'

you send it and immediately turn off your phone and place it on the coffeetable in front of you. you did it, finally. you fall back on your couch and pull your knees up to your face, waiting for a notification.

after a nailbiting five minutes a light emits from your phone. you pick it up and read the name calling you. 'alex'. you take a deep breath and answer the phone.

"hi alex."

"hey ___, it's been a while."

you sit up straight, preparing yourself for the conversation you're about to have.

'yeah, you can say that."

the atmosphere was a lot less tense than you expected. it was weirdly... comforting? you can hear alex's raspy voice through the phone. has he been crying?

"i saw your text, you wanted to meet?"

"yes, i did. i wanted to get some closure, at least."

alex chuckled, his laugh making you a little flustered. trying to brush it off, you laugh with him.

"what's so funny?" alex asked.

you rolled your eyes and smile.

"you, dumbass."

he gasps cartoonishly loud. his goofy personality is something you could never get enough of. maybe you were wrong after all.

"ok, but seriously, when do you want to meet?"

he gets back on topic. you snap out of your smile and remember why he called in the first place.

"right, right. i'm free this whole week, you can choose when."

after some planning and back and forth, you decide to meet at a small family-run café in the afternoon. coincidentally, it's the same place you two had your first date.

~

you settle down at a table on the terrace of the café, the sunday sun greeting you warmly. you were a little early, so you decided to think of some questions. it didn't take you long to come to a few, though. your main question was the photo. what was that all about?

as you were handed a menu you saw alex walking on the pavement fidgeting with his fingers.

"hey! sorry if i'm late, i took the bus instead of my car."

he took the seat parallel to yours and exhaled.

"oh no, you're right on time. i was just a little early."

the waitress gave alex a menu and disappeared into the establishment. you both decided to stay quiet before getting on topic. neither of you want to start the conversation.

after both ordering and having surface level conversation for a while silence fell. you both know why you're here, it feels off to talk like nothing ever happened.

"okay-"

"so-"

you both start at the same time. alex awkwardly chuckles while covering his mouth.

"you first."

alex proposes. you nod and like magic lose the somewhat content mood you had prior. you steadily breathe in and pull out your phone.

"so, first things first; my main goal is to get closure and an explanation - there's no point in lying to me."

alex hums in agreement. you could tell he was nervous, you knew him better than anyone. you tap on your screen a few times until you reach the photo that was sent to you.

"now, i want a clear answer. what happened that night?"

you ask him firmly as you put your phone on the table to reveal the image.

"that's my ex-girlfriend."

alex said. you raise an eyebrow - his ex? you've heard some wild things about her and her antics, which is exactly why alex broke up with her in the first place.

"she said she wanted to ask me something in private. my dumbass said yes, because i can't pick up on context clues, apparently."

you cross your arms and lean back on the chair.

"you got that right."

alex looks up from the photo and makes eye contact with you.

"long story short, she pushed me to the wall and kissed me. i tried to push her off but she didn't let me go. after shoving her, like, twice she finally got the hint and left."

~

"so she set you up?"

"she hasn't changed a bit since all those years."

you say with a hint of condescension. his explanation made sense, and from what you heard he wasn't lying. your gut told you to believe him, yet your mind had an itching feeling that there was something else.

"are you sure that's all?"

alex flinched slightly.

"y-yes, ___. i don't know what else to tell you."

you mess with your hair a bit, clearly conflicted. there was nothing else, you knew that. but your brain wouldn't let it go. you decided it's better if you just sleep on it.

"alright, then.-"

you grab your bag and stand up.

"-i think we're done here."

alex stays seated and looks up at you.

"yeah, i think so."

you pick the phone up that's laying on the table. you pull out your wallet and put a $5 bill under your teacup.

"goodbye, alex."

"wait!"

alex stands up and grabs your wrist, the gesture scaring you little bit.

"are you still mad at me?"

those eyes. they're so pretty, almost sparlking. you snap out of it when he lets go, just realizing how weird it is to grab someone's arm out of nowhere.

"sorry, my bad. i wasn't thinking."

alex scratches the back of his neck.

"i'm still deciding if i can trust you, but i appreciate you showing up, at least."

"that's enough for me."

alex smile at you, not trying to pry.

"goodbye, ___."

"goodbye, alex."

~

you heard the chirping of the birds outside your window and groan. why is it already morning? you sit up and grab your phone from the nightstand next to your bed, the phone reading 11:23 - tuesday - xx-xx-xxxx.

you sigh and fall back onto your bed. you've been thinking about alex for a few days now, still not getting him out of your head.

after going downstairs and eating some toast you pull out your phone again, the clock now reading 12:44. you look through your contacts and eventually land on his name.

you hover your hand over the green pixels while sitting down at the dining table. you swallow audibly and click the call button.

it goes once.

it goes twice.

"___?"

'Hey alex, i wanted to ask you if you wanted to meet up again?"

ty for reading <3

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taglist: @adoring-ghost @sakisaralazy @for-memories-sacrifice @ialexabsuniverse @shiyanchan @bioluminescentfrog @esylwen

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[storiesforallfandoms]

nothing left ~ 10k;z nation

word count: 2229

request?: no

description: he accompanies her back to her childhood home to find nothing left besides the memories of times before the zombies, and they decide to leave some new memories there

pairing: 10k x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut

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(Y/N) kept a straight face as they drove past the sig with her hometown’s name displayed in bold, black letters against the stark white background. It was the first time she had been there since she and her parents had escaped during the initial Z outbreak. Since then, she had lost everything, but managed to find a new family within the small group that took her in.

They came to a stop at an empty parking lot of an abandoned supermarket. Everyone got out, weapons in tow.

“This place is a ghost town,” Doc commented.

“Almost everyone vacated when the infection started,” (Y/N) explained. “I don’t even think there would be any Zs here. It’s probably only been ransacked lately.”

“It’s the only town for miles, it’s our best bet for resources,” Warren said. “We search the place where we can and see what we can find.” She turned to (Y/N) to add, “Do you want to go home? Just to see the place if nothing else?”

(Y/N) was dying to get home, but she didn’t want anyone on the team to see her as weak or fragile. Although she knew they wouldn’t think any different of her if she did show some weakness, in this day and age, your biggest threat was to be perceived as weak to anyone.

Before she could respond, 10k spoke up. “I think you should. It’ll give you a break from everything, and you can be closer to your parents for even just a moment.”

(Y/N) had a hard time saying no to 10k, especially when parents were involved. She knew he wanted nothing more than to be close to his own father again, but, like (Y/N), 10k hadn’t been home in nearly a year. He didn’t even know if his own home was still standing. If she turned down this opportunity that she knew 10k wanted so bad in front of him, she’d never forgive herself.

“It would be nice,” she admitted.

“You go then honey,” Warren said, her voice soft and kind. “10k, you go with her for protection. Meet us back here before sundown. We’ll wait a little while, but not too long.”

The two youngest members left in the opposite direction of the group. (Y/N) led 10k down the still familiar roads. They weren’t too far from the house and, before she knew it, (Y/N) was stood in front of her childhood home. Her eyes widened at the sight of it.

All the windows were smashed and the door was practically ripped off of the hinges. They entered with weapons raised in case of a Z attack. (Y/N)’s heart broke to see the place ransacked and destroyed. Every picture her parents had hung were smashed to pieces. Only one remained partially in tact, one of (Y/N) and her parents when she was barley a year old. They were on their first vacation as a family to visit someone in another state. The picture was of the three of them on the beach together. Baby (Y/N) was in her mother’s arms, taken by the sand in her tiny hands while her parents were smiling brightly at the camera.

10k looked over her shoulder as her eyes began to water. “You look a lot like your mom.”

“I got that a lot,” she said. “We were basically twins. Dad said I got lucky with mom’s genes.”

She held the picture close to her chest as she moved up the stairs to where the bedrooms and main bathroom was. Whoever had broken in must’ve found what they wanted on the first floor because the bedrooms were relatively untouched. Every poster and picture (Y/N) had on her walls were still there. Her old laptop was even still there, although she doubted that it worked anymore.

“It’s weird,” she said. “It feels like I’ve been gone for years, but this room looks exactly the way I left it, like not a day has past.”

“Anything here you want to take with you?” 10k asked.

(Y/N) shook her head. “I took most of the important stuff when we left first. There’s nothing but memories here now.”

She was so lost in her own thoughts - memories of when things were good - that she didn’t hear 10k leave the room to walk into the bathroom until he spoke again. “The water still runs.”

She walked into the bathroom to find clean water running from the tap. She put a hand under the water, feeling it go from freezing cold to comfortably warm in seconds.

“The power and stuff must still be running,” she said. “Good news for us. I haven’t showered in ages.”

“You think it’s safe?” 10k asked, but (Y/N) was already placing her weapons on the bathroom counter and shedding herself of her top layers.

“I’m willing to take one for the team if it means I’ll be clean when I die,” she joked. “You can watch the door and make sure no Zs or no more looters come in. I’ll leave my gun close enough that I can use it if need be.”

10k nodded. Before he could get the chance to turn back on, (Y/N) grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. For a split second, 10k saw the black bra she was wearing. It was old and worn, probably one of the only ones she had left. Due to this, it was basically falling apart, so when he got a brief glance of the bra, he also got a glance of one of her breasts.

10k’s eyes widened as he quickly turned his back so that (Y/N) didn’t know. He stood in the doorway, listening over the sound of the shower running for any indication of someone, or something, breaking into the house.

The warm water running over (Y/N) caused her to let out a moan of relief. It had been so long since she had properly bathed. The warm water of the familiar shower felt like heaven to her.

Outside the shower, 10k was shuffling awkwardly. He and (Y/N) had been close since they had first met, but they had only ever viewed each other as friends and Z fighting colleagues. He didn’t understand why he was starting to have this feeling about her. Maybe it was just boy hormones and the fact that she was a naked girl just a few feet away from him. But it felt like more than that. Maybe it had always been more than that but he was just afraid to admit it.

Before he could stop himself, 10k silently placed his gun next to hers on the toilet cover. He began to shed himself of his own clothes, working quickly and quietly as to not disturb her. (Y/N) had her head back with the water running over her hair and body when 10k pulled the curtain back and stepped in. She opened her eyes to look at him, shocked by his sudden appearance. She looked him up and down for a moment, her face giving away nothing.

“Gotta save water,” 10k said, trying to lighten the mood.

A smile broke out across (Y/N)’s face as a small giggle came from her lips. “Come here, 10k.”

She put a hand on the back of his neck at the same time that his hands found her waist. Their lips collided and it felt like the most right thing in the terrible, fucked up world around them. 10k’s lips moved against (Y/N)’s perfectly, as if they were supposed to be there, to be kissing her so deeply. His hands wandered over her dripping body, touching every inch of her soft skin with his calloused hands.

(Y/N) let out a sudden squeal as 10k lifted her effortlessly, wrapping her legs around his waist. She was shocked at his strength. Sure, he wasn’t as scrawny and wimpy as he may have looked, but he certainly wasn’t the strongest person in the world. He’s just full of surprises, (Y/N) noted as his lips connected with hers again.

His hard boner was against her aching core, teasing her ever so slightly with every gently brush against her. She whimpered against his lips when she felt him brush against her opening, trying to ground her hips against his to feel her inside of him. Knowing that she wanted this as much as he did made him even more turned on. He was almost afraid that he wouldn’t be able to make this moment last long enough.

He helped to guide her down onto his hard length, causing (Y/N) to gasp as he filled her entirely.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked her, suddenly realizing that he had no idea what (Y/N)’s sexual past was like.

“No,” she responded, her voice breathless and airy. “I just haven’t had sex in a very long time. I forgot how good it felt.”

10k smiled at her and pressed his lips against hers again. He pressed her back against the nearest wall and slowly began to thrust himself into her. (Y/N)’s back arched against the wall, trying to get as close to 10k as she possibly could.

He was slow and gentle, which drove (Y/N) even more wild. She held on around his neck as if her life depended on it, moaning and gasping against his lips with every thrust he pushed into her. She could barley even think straight, her mind focusing only on the pleasure that 10k was providing her.

“Is this alright?” he asked, his voice soft.

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile. Sweet 10k, always thinking of the comfort of others, even when he was in the middle of the most intense shower sex (Y/N) had ever had.

“It’s more than alright,” she responded. “God, it feels so fucking good.”

10k had heard (Y/N) swearing many times, but hearing the expletive word slip from her breathless voice in that moment drove him wild. He rested his head against her shoulder, groaning as he pushed his hips against hers again, filling her completely.

“You feel so good,” he told her. “You’re so soft and warm, fuck.”

“Who would’ve thought that sweet 10k had a dirty side?” (Y/N) giggled.

“You must not know me well enough, then.”

“Maybe I don’t.”

Her thought was cut short as 10k pulled almost completely out of her then filled her again. Her mind was clouded with lust as she tried to rock her hips against his, begging for the release she wanted.

Noticing her desperation, 10k wrapped one arm around her lower back and slipped his free hand between them. (Y/N) gasped as his fingers connected with her swollen nerves and began to rub circles in them. She could feel a familiar pressure building inside of her. She clung to 10k’s shoulders, curses falling from her mouth in between moans of pleasure. Her legs began to shake as she felt herself hitting her climax. She threw her head back and called 10k’s name - his real name - in pleasure.

Feeling her walls contracting around him caused 10k to feel his own climax approaching. He held on to her hips as his thrusts became a little faster. Before he knew it, his eyes were nearly rolling back into his head as he felt himself filling her with his warm cum. The feeling of the warmth inside of her was enough to almost turn (Y/N) on again.

They stayed tangled together for a moment, completely forgetting about the running water cascading down onto them. It wasn’t until the warm water started to turn cold that they realized it was probably time for the two of them to get out.

Luckily for them, whoever looted the house also didn’t think to take any of the towels in the upstairs linen closet, so they had a way to dry themselves off. Before she started pulling her clothes on, 10k wrapped his arms around (Y/N) again and kissed her exposed shoulders and neck before placing one last sweet kiss against her lips.

“We should tell the others about the running water,” he said as he pulled his clothes back on. “If this place is relatively Z-less, we could probably get away with staying here for a while.”

“We’ve stayed in worst looking places,” (Y/N) agreed. “I’m sure everyone else is dying to clean themselves, too. There’s enough room for everyone to sleep with all the bedrooms and the couch downstairs.”

The reminder of the wreckage when they first entered caused a melancholy mood to wash over (Y/N) again. Noticing this, 10k brought her into his arms and held her tightly.

“I’m sorry about your house,” he said. “I’m sorry someone did this to you, that they took all the memories of this place.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “They didn’t take the memories. No one could ever take that from this place. Besides, I’d like to make some new memories here...with you.”

10k smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I think we’ve already started with that.”

(Y/N) giggled and pulled away from him. “Let’s go find everyone to tell them before they leave us abandoned.”

[honeyhan-123]

A Slice of Heaven ~ Part One

Summary: When Jensen stumbles across Melody Meringue on a cam website, he just can’t forget her and his obsession blurs the lines between right and wrong.

Warnings: masterbation, camgirl, mention of anal.

Word Count: 1.7k

AN: This can be read as a standalone and has very little - if any - darkness to it. However, Jensen will start to turn dark in the later parts. 

Also this is my first time writing for Jensen so I hope you enjoy!

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It all started with a crass joke made by Cougar. Like most of his jokes, Jensen was there but of it. He was used to it by now but something about the way Cougar patronised him about how he wouldn’t understand because of his inability to make a woman look his way just got under his skin. 

Even as Jensen made his way home later that night he was still seething. His anger wasn’t directed at Cougar but at women in general. Why didn’t they pay him any attention? He was just as fit as Cougar, just as smart as him too, probably more so given everything he could do with a computer, but women still ignored him.

He was too potent up to eat so instead Jensen logged onto his laptop and opened up a private browser. He hardly had to type in the first word before google knew what he wanted, offering up the direct link. He was greeted with a black screen and bold red words slowly started to appear. Hot single and lonely.

Jensen pulled his laptop to the edge of his desk and reached into the draw, searching for the secret little satin bag with one hand while his other scrolled down the website. He wasn’t sure what he was in the mood for tonight but he was having fun looking at all the choices. He was tossing up between a best friend threesome and a horny stepmom when a little notification along the top left of the screen caught his eye. 

Melody Meringue is about to go live. Click here to join. 

Jensen had never really been one for cam girls, he preferred to be able to to skip to the good parts but there was something about the little miniature image of you. There you were kneeling on your bed, a white babydoll covering your sensuous curves, and a golden mask covering the top half of your face. He couldn’t help but click on the link. 

It was free to join so Jensen figured you must be pretty new to the scene. You mustn't have amassed enough followers yet for them to charge a joining fee. 

You hadn’t started the session yet so while Jensen was waiting for it to begin he headed to the kitchen, his little satin bag in hand. He still had enough time to boil some water before you were meant to start, plus Jensen figured you wouldn’t get to the good stuff for a while, wanting to go through as many pay barriers as possible. 

When the water started to bubble over, Jensen opened up his most recent purchase. It was pitiful that he had had to stoop so low, relying on a flashlight to keep him company. Maybe if women weren’t so shallow and vapid, he’d have a real pussy to fuck. 

By the time his toy had warmed up enough and was once again sitting in front of his screen, you were ready to start. 

‘Well, it looks like I have a nice big turnout tonight. Thank you all so much, you really do know how to make a girl feel special.’ Jensen swallowed thickly. Your voice was so perfect, so sweet and innocent. He could already tell a girl like you didn’t belong on a seedy website like this. 

‘To any newcomers, I’m Melody Meringue and here’s how this is going to work. I’m here to please you, to make sure you have a good time and the best way to ensure that is to click on the little dollar sign down the bottom. There’ll be a list of actions I can perform for you, each with a different amount attached. However if there’s anything you’d like to see that isn’t listed just send me a message and I’m sure we’ll be able to arrange something.’ 

All of that seemed fairly standard to Jensen, despite never having seen a show like this before and he was surprised by how many messages there were already. They ranged from ‘c’mon Melody. Let Daddy see those gorgeous tits’ all the way to much more crude messages ‘I want to see that big purple dildo up your ass this time’. A wave of heat flushed through Jensen as he read that last message. He could barely imagine a sweet thing like you taking something up the ass but god, did he want to see it. 

With one hand Jensen fumbled with his best while his other filled the fleshlight with lube. He was already straining against his pants and he was desperate to get off with you.

He watched with eager eyes as your hands travelled up your luscious body and squeezed your tits together, letting the flesh pop out over the top. How he wanted to bury his face on your chest, kissing and nuzzling the tender skin there. Or slide his cock between your tits, coating them in his essence. 

Jensen had no idea how long he had been watching but you’d discarded the chiffon babydoll and bra you had one underneath when the first paywall came up. It was only $5 to keep on going and Jensen was definitely hooked enough to keep on watching. Plus his dick was now aching from how hard he was. 

He was brought back to your image as you knelt on the bed, your hands dancing along your nearly naked body. The lighting had changed slightly, becoming slightly darker and more sensual as you prepared to go further into your show. After about a minute of you teasing the audience, waiting for everyone to join back in. ‘It’s so lovely to see so many of you interested in little ol’ me. Well… really I guess you’re actually more interested in this pretty little pussy aren’t you?’ You gripped your cunt over the thin material of your panties and slowly gyrated your hips as you rubbed yourself. ‘Don’t you worry Baby. I’m gonna give you exactly what you want.’ 

Jensen let out a soft gasp as you barred yourself to the camera. He definitely had to admit you really did have a very pretty little pussy. Even from the angle of the camera he could see your slick as it dripped out onto your thighs. His cock was pulsing against his stomach, firm and flushed with precum dribbling down from the tip. He was so hard he couldn’t bear being untouched anymore so he gingerly eased himself into the little hole of his fleshlight, wishing it was you. 

He was so sensitive and the warmed silicone was almost too much as it contracted, pulling him in even further. His eyes were glued to you as you moved on the bed, leaning back so that the camera had a clear shot of your fingers swirling around in your slick, rubbing your precious little clit as you let out moan after moan and Jensen turning his volume up to the max, not wanting to miss a single sound coming from you. 

Jensen had never felt this desperate to cum. He was so close to typing a message to you, begging you to cum for him so he could too. He refused to do it before he got to see the pleasure course its way over your body, but the familiar tightening in his gut had a different idea in mind. 

He watched enamoured as you slipped one finger into your wet hole, and then another one, scissoring them together while your palm brushed against your clit. You were a heavenly sight as you fingered yourself harder and faster and Jensen was right on the edge about to let his own release overpower him. He was so freaking close, his knuckles turning white as they gripped the toy desperately but suddenly, your image was gone. 

And just like that, so was Jensen’s orgasm. 

He huffed as he approved the next paywall. It was slightly more expensive than the first but Jensen didn’t even pay attention to the price, he needed to see you again too badly. 

When the stream resumed you were once again kneeling on the bed, this time with a cute little rabbit in your hands. You were lathering it up with lube, pumping it generously and Jensen twitched in excitement. He wanted to see your perfectly manicured hand wrapped around him. 

You pouted towards the camera as you continued your work, pushing out your plump lips. ‘I wish you were here so I could have your cock but instead I guess I’ll have to settle for this one.’ Jensen could hear the faint squelch when you sank down onto the bulbous tip.  Only the small flared base poked out and you smiled rakishly at the camera. 

‘Tell me Baby. Do you wanna see me fuck myself like this or are you gonna let me turn on the vibrations?’ Jensen eagerly reached for the keyboard, typing his first message of the night. 

Of course you can Honey. I wanna see you come apart for me.

He hit send before he could see anyone else's messages. He wanted to pretend it was only you and him in this show. 

You must have read his message on your small tablet because a smile lit up your features. ‘Thank you Baby. You’re gonna make me cum so hard. I’m already so close.’ 

The soft hum of vibrations echoed through Jensen’s speakers and even louder were your moans as they fell from your lips. Jensen slid the fleshlight over his cock in time with your bounces and if he squinted he could almost pretend you were right there in front of him, bouncing up and down on his cock. H

He could tell you were close as you reached up to grasp your tits. ‘I’m gonna… please. Please let me cum Baby. God I need to. Please!’ You begged the camera and a string of approval filled the chat. ‘Thank you Baby. I -’ your sentence broke off half way through as your orgasm washed over you. Jensen could see your muscles tense and convulse as the pleasure rushed its way through you and he felt his own orgasm crash over him. His breath came in spurts as he filled the toy with his seed. 

You stuck around a little longer, thanking your patrons and reminding them of your times and Jensen made a little mental note, promising that he wouldn’t miss any of them. 

+

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Thanks for reading!

[hyogonokitsune]

longing -- suna rintarou x reader

college!au, tw alcohol use, lil bit of fluff, lil bit of angst, some smut at the end because I can’t fucking help myself 🥴 (oral -- m and f receiving, choking, creampie, cockwarming hnnff)

11,600 words

--

“Hey, ‘Samu, I gotta go lie down.” You had to practically yell to hear yourself over the music blaring from the speakers. Osamu was less than two feet from you, but you might as well have been yelling from a mile away.

“Huh?”

“I said I gotta go—fuck! Where’s your room?” You had to speak directly into his ear to make yourself understood; Osamu leaned in close to respond to you.

You hadn’t had that much to drink, but the atmosphere of the party was wearing you down. The insanely loud music and the crush of so many sweaty bodies were starting to give you a headache, and you were in desperate need of a quiet place to recharge. Most of the people were crowded into the living areas of the house, so you decided to escape to your friend’s upstairs bedroom to catch your breath.

You shut his door behind you, muffling the sounds of the party downstairs, and laid down on the bed, closing your eyes. Even here, you could feel the bass pounding in your head.

The door opened then, but when you lifted your head to look, it wasn’t Osamu standing in the room. You groaned; you definitely were not in the mood to deal with a random guy.

“Can I help you?” you asked in a hard voice, sitting up to look at him better.

“Can I help you?” he replied, utterly deadpan. He walked over to the desk in the corner and plugged his phone into a charger, his back facing you. “You’re in my room.”

“What? This is Osamu’s room.”

“’Samu’s room is the last door on the left. This is the last one on the right.” He turned around to look at you, his expression indifferent.

Your eyes widened as you realized your mistake, quickly hopping off his bed. “I’m so sorry! I must have misheard him. I just needed to get away from there,” you explained, gesturing towards the door.

He smirked at you. “Too much to drink?”

“No, there are just too many people down there, felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

His expression softened at your words. “Yeah, that’s why I came up here, too.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then,” you said, moving towards the door.

“You’re Osamu and Atsumu’s friend, right?” he said, stopping you. “They said one of their old friends was gonna come over tonight.”

Your hand dropped from the doorknob as you nodded, telling him your name.

“I’m Suna,” he said.

“Oh! You went to high school with them, right? They’ve told me about you.”

“Nothing good, I bet,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a grin.

“Almost all good things,” you responded truthfully.

“’Almost’”, he repeated, a low laugh escaping him. Suna watched you for a moment, looking as if he was thinking about something. “You can hang out here, if you want,” he said, motioning for you to sit back on the bed as he pulled out his desk chair. “As long as you don’t puke on anything.”

“I told you, I didn’t drink that much!” you huffed, but you sat down all the same. You had wanted to get away from all the noisy people downstairs, but this guy seemed laidback enough that he wouldn’t make your headache worse; besides, you were interested in talking to someone who had known the twins in high school.

Suna put on a playlist from his phone, setting the volume just loud enough to block out the house music blasting from downstairs. “You’ve known them a while, yeah?”

You nodded. “Since we were kids, but I didn’t go to Inarizaki with them.”

“Good call.”

“They’re not that bad!” you laughed. “Don’t tell them this, but I actually missed seeing them every day, so it’s nice that we ended up going to the same university.”

“Maybe I will tell them that, then they’ll spend more time harassing you instead of me.”

“Don’t you dare.”

You both laughed then, before falling into an easy silence. You shifted to get more comfortable on his bed, crossing your legs underneath you.

“Do you not like parties?” you asked.

“They’re alright,” he said, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m not too crazy about having ten thousand strangers in my house, though.”

You hummed in agreement, nodding your head. “Yeah, what’s fun about having random drunk people sweating all over you? I’d rather just hang out with a few friends, ya know?”

He snorted. “Hopefully it’ll be more like that in the future, but Atsumu really wanted to throw a big party for the start of the semester.”

You couldn’t help rolling your eyes. “He just wanted to introduce himself to as many girls as possible.”

“Yeah, that was his not-so-secret motive.”

There was another pause. Suna scrolled through his phone, searching for something.

“You wanna see some embarrassing photos of the twins?”

“Yes, absolutely I do.”

He grinned, unplugging his phone to come sit next to you on the bed. He leaned in close, tilting his screen so you could see it. “Oh, here’s a good one,” he said, trying to suppress a smile as he showed you a picture of Osamu lying face down on the ground. “He tripped when we were jogging, completely ate shit.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the image, especially with Atsumu in the foreground holding up a peace sign over his brother’s body.

Most of the photos were of the two of them fighting; having grown up with the twins, it was a little comforting to see that they acted the same around their new friends as they always had with you. You felt somewhat nostalgic at the thought.

Suna paused on a closeup photo of Atsumu, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to swat the camera away. “Ah, this was after he got rejected by a girl and he swore he wasn’t crying.”

“Oh my god, I totally remember that day!” you said, laughing hard. “’Samu called me, begging me to talk some sense into ’Tsumu because he kept whining about being turned down.”

“Seriously? God, knowing that makes this so much better,” Suna said, a crooked grin on his face.

“Please don’t tell him I told you that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

He showed you nearly three years’ worth of pictures, pausing at the memorable ones to tell you the stories behind them. It was easy talking to him; you felt able to laugh naturally and relax around him despite being strangers, something that you weren’t able to do with most people you just met.

You didn’t realize how long you and Suna had been talking until you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket; seeing that it was a call from Osamu, you answered it.

“Y/n, did you leave?”

You were surprised by the panicky note in his voice. “No, I told you I was going upstairs.”

“Yeah? Well where the fuck are ya, ’cause I’m standing in my room and you’re not in here.”

“I’m in Suna’s room—”

Before you could finish your sentence, you heard footsteps stomp across the hall and the door flew open.

“What the hell are ya doing in here?” Osamu asked, still holding his phone up to his cheek.

“We’re fucking, obviously,” Suna deadpanned. You giggled, but Osamu didn’t look amused.

“I got the rooms mixed up, ’Samu,” you explained, getting up off the bed. “Suna’s just been telling me about your time in high school.”

“Oh, great,” Osamu said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “It’s late, you want me to walk ya back to your dorm?”

“Can you even walk, or are you too drunk?”

“It’s Atsumu you should be worried about. He fell asleep on the couch downstairs.”

“Why does that not surprise me,” you laughed. You made your way over to Osamu, turning at the door to address Suna. “It was nice talking to you, I guess I’ll see you around.”

He was scrolling through his phone again, only giving you a brief disinterested glance. “Yeah, see you.”

 --

 You poked your head into Osamu’s room, only to find that it was empty. It was a little disappointing; you had been hoping to hang out with him for a bit, since you hadn’t had time to see much of him that week, but if he wasn’t around there was nothing to be done about it. The book you had borrowed from him a few weeks ago was already in your hand, so you placed it on his desk and turned to leave.

Stepping back into the hallway, you noticed that the door across from Osamu’s was open. You casually glanced inside as you walked past, catching Suna’s eye from where he sat in front of his laptop.

“Hey,” you said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey,” he parroted as he took his headphones off his ears.

“I came by to return a book that Osamu lent me, but I guess he’s not around.”

“I think he’s meeting with a professor.”

“Ah.” You fell silent, and Suna turned his attention back to his laptop. “What are you reading?” you asked.

He looked up again, his expression a little sheepish. “You’re gonna think it’s boring.”

“Try me.”

He sighed. “It’s an article analyzing the influence of Shakespeare’s histories on English nationalism.”

Your face brightened as you spoke. “That was published last week, right? I bookmarked that so I could read it when I got the chance.”

Suna looked surprised at your response, his eyes widening slightly. “It’s pretty interesting so far.”

“I have to say, though, you didn’t strike me as the type to be into that kind of stuff,” you said, just a hint of a teasing tone in your voice.

His expression was blank again as he responded, “Well, I am a literature major.”

“So am I!” you said, smiling at him as you walked into his room and leaned against his desk. “I don’t think we have any classes together, though.”

“It’s a big school.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” You paused, thinking of a way to keep the conversation going. “What’s your favorite Shakespeare play?”

Suna glanced up at the ceiling, bottom lip rolling between his teeth as he thought. “I guess I’d say Hamlet. There’s just so much shit going on.”

“Ah, so you love the drama of it all,” you laughed. “I think it’s a tie between Hamlet and Macbeth for me. The twist at the end is just—” you cut yourself off to do a chef’s kiss, prompting Suna to laugh a little.

“‘Macduff was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped’, such a raw line.”

“Yes, exactly!” You were beaming at him, happy to learn that you shared a common interest. Over the course of the last few weeks since you first met Suna, you hadn’t had much of a chance to get to know him, despite him being your best friends’ roommate. He usually kept to himself, and on the few occasions when he joined you and the twins to play video games or get dinner together, he didn’t talk much. He seemed like a naturally reserved person, and as you remembered this, you felt a small pang of guilt for disturbing him.

“Well, I’ll let you finish that article,” you said, getting off his desk and making for the door.

His voice stopped you before you could leave. “You can hang out here until Osamu gets back, if you want.” You turned to face him, a little surprised.

“You sure? I don’t wanna bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me,” he said. “I can finish this whenever.”

You couldn’t help but smile, feeling like this was a rare invitation coming from him. Your heart beat a little faster at the thought.

“Have you ever seen ‘Scotland, PA’?” you asked.

“Nope.”

“It’s an adaptation of Macbeth that takes place in a fast food restaurant.”

“Yeah?” he snorted, a grin appearing on his face. “You wanna watch it?” Before you could answer, he was unplugging his headphones and bringing his laptop over to you.

“Sure, if you want to,” you told him, feeling like you were really lucking out.

Suna sat on the floor at the foot of his bed, patting the spot at his side as he started searching for the movie. You sat down next to him, careful to leave a space between you.

When you watched movies with Atsumu and Osamu, their incessant talking usually got on your nerves pretty quickly, but you found that you didn’t mind listening to Suna’s comments. Watching the film together seemed to make any lingering awkwardness between you two disappear, and before long you were laughing and leaning into each other.

“Oh, I hate this part!” you groaned when you reached a certain scene, turning to press your face into Suna’s shoulder.

“Jesus, that’s fucked up,” he chuckled, grimacing as Duncan’s character fell face-first into a deep fryer.  

“Then why are you laughing!” you said, lifting your head, but you couldn’t keep your own laughter from bubbling up in your chest. Suna gave you a crooked grin, your reaction only making him laugh harder.

“Oi, Sunarin! You got a girl in there or something?” Osamu’s voice floated in through the open door, his head appearing a moment later. His eyes widened when he spotted you. “What the hell are ya doin’ here?”

“Hello to you, too, ’Samu,” you said dryly. “I came here to return your book, but you were too busy to see me, I guess.”

“Took ya long enough,” he grumbled, but he grinned at you all the same. “I’m starving, you wanna grab something to eat?”

“Yeah, later,” you said, turning to look at Suna. “There’s still a bit left in this movie, you wanna finish it now?”

“Yeah,” he replied, a little surprised that you’d postpone hanging out with your friend to finish the movie with him.

“Ugh, fiiiine,” Osamu groaned, rolling his eyes at you, “guess I’ll go shower, then. But don’t take too long, I’m so fuckin’ hungry.”

 --

 “Maaaan, I can’t wait until this semester’s over,” Atsumu sighed. “I feel like it’s draggin’ by.”

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to go home for break.”

The two of you were standing on a patch of grass outside the gym, passing a volleyball back and forth. It was chilly, your breath coming out in silvery puffs, but after spending most of your time inside studying for the past week, you had both wanted to get some fresh air.

“I just know I’m gonna fail my bio final.”

“You’ll be fine, ’Tsumu,” you chuckled as you bumped the ball back to him. “You’ve been studying more in the last few days than I’ve seen you do in your entire life.”

“Hey, I studied in high school!” he huffed, his face contorting in mock annoyance as he set the ball. “Just ask Suna!”

The mention of his roommate’s name made your stomach flutter, causing you to mess up the course of the ball.

Atsumu quickly stepped to the side to get under it, giving you a nice, high set in return. “Jeez, you’ve really let your skills slip, huh?” he teased, grinning at you.

“Shut up, piss head.” Your cheeks were already pink from the cold, but you felt them heating up.

“Why don’t you play anymore anyway? I’m pretty sure there’s a women’s club on campus.”

You shrugged as you responded. “I don’t know, I don’t think I’m good enough to play for a college team.”

“Bullshit.”

You heaved a sigh. “Fine. I just think it’d be weird to play on a new team. I liked my old team, ya know? All my good memories are of them, I don’t think it would be fun to have to learn a whole new dynamic with new people. I’d feel like I was… I don’t know, like I was cheating on them or something.”

Atsumu looked at you like you’d just told him the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “That’s still bullshit.”

“Well I don’t expect you to understand, you freak. You wouldn’t care who your teammates are, as long as you get to play volleyball.” You gave him a smile as you passed him the ball. “I still have fun playing with you and ’Samu, though.”

“You better. If that ever changed, I’d have to rethink this whole friendship.”

You both laughed, but a part of you wondered how serious he really was.

“Fuck, okay my fingers are actually starting to go numb. Can we go inside now?” you asked, shoving your bright red hands into your jacket pockets.

“Yeah, you wanna grab some dinner?”

“Definitely.”

The two of you set off for the campus dining hall, huddled close together for warmth. The sun was just beginning to set, making the bare trees cast long, spindly shadows on the path in front of you. You quickened your pace, shivering a little.

The dining hall was just beginning to fill up; you and Atsumu managed to grab a table near the back of the room before all the spots were taken. You wrapped your freezing hands around your bowl of soup, savoring the warmth. Atsumu wasted no time digging into his own meal.

“You might wanna wipe that rice off your face, ’Tsumu,” you told him in a low voice, “that girl over there is checking you out.”

“Huh?” he asked, his mouth full. His eyes glanced over to the direction where you were tilting your head. “Eh, whatever.”

You rolled your eyes, a small smile on your face. “You still hooking up with that girl from your stats class?”

“Yeah, I actually really like her,” he said, swallowing a massive bite of food. “She’s sweet, and funny. And she’s really good at—”

“Stop,” you said, holding up a hand. “I really don’t wanna know.”

He smirked at you. “I was gonna say helping me study. Jeez, what were you thinking about?”

You bit your lip, trying not to give him the satisfaction of seeing you smile.

“What about you? You been seeing anyone?”

“You know damn well the only guys I hang out with are you and ’Samu.”

“And Suna,” he added. You took a big gulp of your soup so you wouldn’t have to say anything in response. He was right, though; lately you had been spending more time with Suna, even without the twins around. “I’m kinda surprised at Suna, actually,” Atsumu continued.

“What, that he’s hanging out with me?”

“No, that he’s not hanging out with any other girls.”

Your brow furrowed a little. You had assumed that Suna got around; he was handsome, after all, and he had that mysterious, reticent personality that most girls went crazy for.

“I mean, back in high school he was kinda known for just having a ton of hookups. I figured he’d keep that up in college. I don’t know, maybe he’s too busy now,” Atsumu mused.

You mulled it over in your head. It seemed to you like Suna had more free time now than he would have had in high school; almost every time you stopped by their house, he was either in his room reading or listening to music, or else playing games with the twins. You were pretty sure he could have fit in a hookup or two if he wanted.

“Maybe he just wants to focus on his classes,” you offered, but it didn’t sound realistic even as you said it.

Atsumu snorted. “Yeah, like he’s gonna trade pussy for his GPA.”

“Charming, ’Tsumu,” you sighed. “It’s not really any of our business what Suna gets up to, though.”

“I’m just saying, it’s a little weird for him.” Atsumu’s arm stretched out to steal some food from your tray. “Maybe he’s met someone he really likes.”

His words made your stomach turn over, but you weren’t entirely sure why.

 --

 A few days into the spring semester, both Atsumu and Osamu came down with nasty colds. By the time the weekend rolled around, they were completely incapacitated, unable to do anything but huddle up together on the couch, sniffling sadly.

You had taken pity on your friends, so on Saturday night (after receiving several dramatic texts from Atsumu that he was dying), you decided to go over to their house to cook them dinner. The twins were curled up on the couch watching a movie, wrapped in thick blankets with used tissues scattered around the coffee table in front of them. From where you stood in the kitchen prepping ingredients, you had a clear view of them over the counter; the sight of them looking so sorry for themselves reminded you of all the times you had gone over their house to keep them company when they got sick as kids. You smiled to yourself, thinking of those fond memories.

“Y/n,” Atsumu whined from the living room, his blanket pulled up over the top of his head. “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, baby. Dinner will be ready soon.”

Out of the corner of your eye you saw him tighten the blanket around himself, a dopey grin on his face. “Y/n called me ‘baby’,” he said happily.

“Simp,” Osamu muttered under his breath.

Atsumu stuck a leg out from under his blanket to kick his brother. “Don’t be jealous, you scrub!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at them; their usual bickering sounded especially cute when their voices were so congested.

“Even when you’re sick you guys can’t shut up.” Suna had come downstairs, rubbing his eyes as he walked into the kitchen.

“Sunarin! Are you finally gonna hang out with us?” Atsumu asked excitedly.

“Absolutely not. I don’t wanna catch whatever weird disease you guys have—”

“You make us sound so disgusting,” Osamu grumbled.

“I just came down to get food,” Suna continued, grabbing a Cup Noodle from the cupboard.

“Oh no you’re not,” you said, snatching it out of his hands. “I’m making dinner for you guys.”

Suna’s eyes widened a little in surprise, but he didn’t object. Instead, he leaned back against the counter, watching as you dried the vegetables.

“Suna, could you chop up the mushrooms for me?” you asked. “Oh, but wash your hands first, please!”

Without saying a word, he did as you asked. You could hear Atsumu snickering from the couch.

“Talk about a simp. Y/n actually got Sunarin to help out in the kitchen,” he said, smirking. Suna balled up the paper towel he was using to dry his hands and chucked it at Atsumu’s head.

“You’ve got snot dripping down your face, dude.”

“Shut up!” Atsumu cried, sniffling as he burrowed deeper into his blanket.

With Suna’s help, prepping the ingredients went twice as fast. You expected him to leave the kitchen once it was done, but to your surprise he stayed, leaning against the counter again to watch you as you cooked. Occasionally he asked you a question about what you were doing.

“The chicken takes a little longer to cook than the veggies, so I’m adding that to the broth first,” you explained. “The order you add things affects the flavor, too.”

“How many times have I offered to teach ya to cook, Sunarin?” Osamu called from the other room. “Guess ya only wanna learn when Y/n’s doin’ the teaching.”

Suna glared at him over his shoulder before turning his attention back to what you were doing. “I didn’t really have to know how before.”

“It’s never too late to learn,” you reassured him.

“Nothin’ sexier than a man who knows how to cook!” Osamu yelled, grinning. Suna ignored him, but you noticed the tips of his ears turning pink.

When the food was nearly done, you asked Osamu to clear a space on the coffee table. With Suna’s help, you carried over the meal you had cooked together, setting down the steaming bowls of soup, rice, and vegetables in front of the twins.

“My nose is all stuffed up, but this still smells so good,” Atsumu said, eyes closed as he sniffed the air.

“Yeah, your cooking’s always the best, Y/n,” Osamu agreed as he reached out with both hands for a bowl of soup.

“Oh, I picked up your favorite tea on the way over here, too,” you said, going back to the kitchen.

“What?! You really are the best!” Atsumu wailed. You walked back into the living room, carrying two mugs in each hand. “What did we ever do to deserve you?”

“It’s a mystery to me,” you replied, but the smile on your face was gentle as you handed the twins their tea. You passed the third mug to Suna, and the look he gave you was nothing short of tender as you sat next to him on the floor. The sight of it made your heart pound in your chest.

When you had all finished eating, you and Suna carried the dishes back to the kitchen while the twins dozed on the couch. After packing up the leftovers, you started washing the dishes and cooking pots, with Suna drying and putting them away.

“Thanks for making dinner for us,” he said quietly, not making eye contact with you.

“Of course,” you said, offering him a smile. “I don’t mind doing it.”

“You must really like those two idiots, if you’re willing to do so much for them.”

You looked over the counter into the living room where the twins were passed out on the couch. Osamu was curled up on his side, his head leaning against the armrest and blanket tucked up tight around him; Atsumu had his head thrown back, mouth hanging open as he snored softly. The sight of them sleeping so peacefully made a feeling of warmth spread throughout your chest.

“I’ve known them since we were three,” you told Suna, gaze still pointed towards the twins. “They’re like brothers to me.” You paused for a moment, thinking, before turning your attention back to the dishes in the sink. “I think it’s normal to want to do things for the people you care about.”

You caught Suna’s eye as you looked up to pass him a freshly-washed plate. He was staring at you intently, brows slightly furrowed, but you couldn’t quite name the expression on his face.  

 --

 It came as no surprise when, a few days after taking care of the twins, you came down with a bad cold of your own. You managed to suffer through your classes and had just returned to your room to sleep for the rest of the day when, less than five minutes after changing into your pajamas and climbing into bed, there was a knock at your door.

“It’s open,” you called out, thinking it was one of the girls from your floor coming to check on you.

When Suna stepped into your room, you nearly fell in your haste to jump out of bed.

“Sorry, was I not supposed to come in?” he asked as you disentangled yourself from the blankets.

“No, I just wasn’t expecting it to be you,” you told him. You grabbed a hoodie from your closet and quickly pulled it on over your tank top, attempting to hide the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra.

“Oh,” was all he said. The two of you stood there staring at each other awkwardly for a moment, before you noticed the bag he was holding in his hand.

“What’s that?” you asked, pointing at it.

Suna blinked as if he had suddenly remembered why he was there. “The guys told me you weren’t feeling well,” he said, setting the bag down on your desk and pulling a container out of it, “so I thought I’d bring you some soup.” His voice got softer at the end, and you noticed a slight blush on his cheeks as he held it out to you.

He must have made it and immediately brought it over to your dorm, because the container was still hot to the touch. You struggled to keep your lower lip from shaking at the sheer thoughtfulness of it. “That’s really sweet, Suna. Thank you.”

“It’s probably not nearly as good as yours, but…” his voice trailed off. He scratched at the back of his head, the blush deepening on his face. “I tried to do what you showed me the other night.”

“Do you wanna have some with me?” you asked, but you were already taking down two bowls from the shelf above your desk and pouring out a serving for each of you, before putting the rest in your mini fridge. You ate a spoonful, eyes closing as you savored the taste. “Mmm, this is really good, Sunarin!” you smiled at him.

“It’s not bad,” he said, grinning a little bit.

“It’s really good for your first try!” you pressed on. “You know, if you want more practice, you can cook for me anytime.”

He snorted. “Yeah, that’d be a pretty sweet deal for you. But what would I get out of it?”

“Duh, you’d get to spend more time with me.”

“Oh, then pass.”

“Suna!” You pretended to pout, earning a genuine laugh from him. It felt good to joke around with him again, after not being in contact with him at all over the winter break.  

“Do you wanna hang out for a bit?” he asked when you had finished eating, setting his empty bowl on your desk. “Or were you just planning on sleeping for the rest of the day?”

You were a little taken aback at his question, since he had gone out of his way to avoid Atsumu and Osamu when they were sick. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll catch whatever I have?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “If I was gonna catch it, I would have caught it from Thing 1 and Thing 2 already.” His expression faltered a little. “We don’t have to if you don’t want—”

“No, I do!” you said, a little too quickly in your eagerness to not let this chance slip through your fingers. “I just don’t want to get you sick, that’s all.”

“I’ll be fine.” Suna rolled his eyes, smiling. “You wanna watch a movie? I’ll let you choose, since you’re sick.”

“Oh, how magnanimous of you,” you teased as you carried your laptop over to your bed. You sat down, propped up against the pillows, and shifted to the side so Suna could sit next to you. “Can we watch ‘The Devil Wears Prada’?”

“Sure.”

“I feel like you’d kin Miranda Priestly.”

“I will leave this room, right now,” he threatened, beginning to stand up.

“No, no! I was only joking!” you laughed, grabbing his arm and pulling him back down. He rubbed at his face, but you could see his slight smile hidden behind his hand.

The movie was almost over before Suna realized that you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. When he first felt your head lean against him, the pounding of his heart had prevented him from daring to look at your face, but after several of his comments had gone ignored, he finally peered down at you, surprised to see your eyes closed. When the credits rolled, he had intended to get up and let you rest, but when he tried to move, your body shifted to turn towards him, an arm reaching out to wrap around his torso.

“Rin,” you murmured in your sleep, and the sound of your voice saying his name caused all of his resolve to disappear.

With you sleeping so peacefully, your warm body pressed up against his, Suna couldn’t bring himself to risk accidentally waking you up. The sun had already set, making your room dark and cozy, and so he figured he could wait there for a little bit until you woke up from your nap. Lifting one of his arms to put it around your shoulders, he closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, sunlight was streaming in through the window. He blinked blearily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His movements prompted you to wake up, your gaze slowly focusing to find yourself leaning on his chest like a pillow.

“Guess we were both more tired than we thought,” he said, his voice raspy from sleep.

“Mmph,” you mumbled, noticing a damp spot on his shirt from where you had drooled on him. God, how embarrassing.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly, shifting to look down at you.

“A little better,” you said. Sitting up properly, you rubbed at your face, attempting to hide your blush from him. “Sorry that I fell asleep on you.”

“It’s okay,” he said, smiling a little before his face shifted into a more teasing expression. “Did you know that you mumble in your sleep?”

You groaned, hiding your face in your hands even more. “Yeah, I’m aware.”

“It’s kinda cute.”

“Please don’t make fun of me this early in the morning.”

Suna pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. “Ugh… I’ve got class at 9:45. I gotta go home to shower and get ready before then.” He stood up and stretched his arms over his head. You lowered your hands from your face just in time to catch a glimpse of his toned stomach as his shirt lifted up; the sight of it made your cheeks burn anew, your head turning quickly so he wouldn’t notice you staring.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Y/n,” he said, putting on his coat.

“Thanks again for coming over,” you said, forcing yourself to look him in the eye.

He grinned a little sheepishly as he made his way to the door. “Well, ya know… you gotta do things for the people you care about.”  

 --

 Stepping out into the brisk early springtime air, you spotted a familiar head of dark hair a few yards in front of you.

“Hey, Sunarin!” you called out, waving at him when he turned around. He stopped walking to allow you to catch up with him. “Are you done with class for the day?”

“Yeah, but I’ve got practice.”

“Mind if I walk with you?”

He didn’t respond, but the slight shrug of his shoulders as he took off again told you that he wasn’t bothered by your company. You walked side by side, your hands brushing against each other’s occasionally, each brief contact setting off butterflies in your stomach. If it had any effect on Suna, he didn’t let it show.

“Have you thought about what classes you’re gonna take next semester?” you asked.

“Not really,” he said. “Why, you gonna start stalking me?” he added, lips quirking up into a grin.

“Just making conversation,” you grumbled, turning your face so he wouldn’t see your blush.

“Y/n!”

You looked up in the direction the voice came from to see a guy from one of your classes making his way over to you. You greeted him politely, and he launched into a conversation about the latest paper you had been assigned, falling into step beside you.

“Are you doing anything now? You wanna go get dinner with me?” he asked eventually.

“Oh, I can’t, actually,” you told him. “I have plans with a friend tonight.”

His face fell a little, but he quickly bounced back. “That’s alright, some other time maybe.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know what you’re doing for spring break yet?”

“I’m not really sure, I’ll probably just stay on campus,” you said.

“Oh, me too!” he said, grinning at you. “Maybe we could get together then.”

You had reached a branch in the path, and he turned right to continue towards the dining hall.

“See ya around!” he said with a wave.

You waved back, noticing that Suna’s eyes lingered on the other guy’s back as he walked away.

“That dude likes you,” he said in a deadpan voice.

“Huh?”

“He was trying to ask you out, dumbass.”

“What? No he wasn’t. I don’t think he’d do that in front of you.”

“Well, if he asks you again you should say yes.” Suna was smirking at you, but his voice was devoid of any emotion.

His words pricked at your heart, making your chest feel tight. The idea of him encouraging you to go out with someone else was a little upsetting. You turned your head away from him.

“Yeah, maybe,” you said absentmindedly. In truth, you had no interest in going out with that other guy, but Suna’s comment had left you unsure of what to say.

His brows creased a bit. Turning back to look at him, you saw that his gaze was significantly colder than it had been before. You opened your mouth to ask him what was wrong, but he cut you off before you could.

“I’m gonna be late for practice,” he said flatly, walking off quickly and leaving you to stand alone on the path.

 --

 After that day, things between you and Suna were different. He was suddenly making himself even more scarce than usual, and during the few times when you managed to see him, he was quieter than before. You couldn’t think of what would make him act so coldly towards you, and the possible explanations you came up with in your mind only made you feel worse.

You were waiting outside the gym one evening for Atsumu and Suna to get out of practice. When you saw them walking out the door you went over to greet them, handing over the bag of pork buns you had picked up at the convenience store.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Atsumu said, gratefully accepting the food you offered him; Suna, however, stepped away before you could pass it to him.

“Sorry, I’ve got stuff to do,” he said cryptically before turning from you.

“We were planning on playing Smash later, are you gonna be around?” you asked.

“Probably not,” was all he said, waving one hand over his shoulder as he walked away.

Stung, you turned to Atsumu. “Suna’s been avoiding me, right? I haven’t been imagining that?”

Mouth full of pork bun, he shook his head. Swallowing thickly, he said, “Nope, he’s definitely been MIA lately. I don’t know why, though.” Seeing the way you bit your lower lip in worry, he was quick to speak again. “I’m sure it’s got nothin’ to do with you! Sunarin’s probably just busy.”

“Do you think he’s seeing someone?” You couldn’t stop yourself from asking.

“Nah, if he was I’d know about it. He’s never brought anyone back to the house.” He crammed half a pork bun into his mouth, struggling to chew it. “Honestly, he might just be a little homesick.”

“What?” It was hard to imagine someone like Suna being homesick; considering he spent so much time on his own, you didn’t think of him as the type of person to miss anyone.

“I mean, he told me he’s goin’ home for spring break to spend time with his sister,” Atsumu explained. “He must really miss her.”

You couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the news. A part of you had hoped that Suna’s avoidance of you actually was due to his busy schedule, and you had been looking forward to your spring break as the perfect opportunity to get some quality time with him. The fact that he wasn’t going to be there confirmed your doubts, proving, in your mind at least, that he really didn’t want to be around you anymore.

“You got any more of these?” Atsumu’s voice brought you out of your own thoughts.

“Yeah, here,” you said, giving him the bag of pork buns intended for Suna.

He continued chattering the whole walk back to the house, but you hardly processed a word. You were too busy wondering about what you could have possibly done to make Suna no longer want to be your friend.

--

 It had been several weeks since you had spent any time with Suna, aside from the brief moments when you saw each other at the house when you were visiting the twins, but he always gave an excuse as to why he couldn’t hang around. You knew he was a private person, but his sudden avoidance of you hurt twice as much after he had seemed to be getting more comfortable around you. Several times you had texted him to ask if he wanted to get food with you or watch a movie together, but he either claimed he was too busy with classes, or ignored you altogether. Eventually, you gave up trying to contact him.

But that didn’t stop your heart from fluttering when you did see him in person. You found yourself living for the moments when you would be sitting in the living room with Osamu or Atsumu, and Suna would come downstairs, giving you a quick nod before rushing out the door; or when you would be hanging out in Osamu’s room and Suna would walk down the hallway, locking eyes with you for half a second before going into his own room and shutting the door behind him. Each time you hoped he would stop and actually say something to you, and each time you were left disappointed.

So it came as a surprise when, one day when you and Osamu were in his kitchen making onigiri together, Suna came downstairs and actually lingered for a bit, even after spotting you. Not wanting to scare him off, you bit your tongue as he sat on the counter, watching you form the rice balls with your hands.

“Those look good,” he said; you weren’t sure if he was addressing you or Osamu.

“Here,” Osamu said, putting some on a plate and passing it to his friend. “You headin’ out soon?”

Suna nodded, his mouth full of rice. “Yeah, I’ve gotta meet with my advisor.”

“We’re going out to eat later, you should come. You haven’t hung out with us in a while.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve been kinda flakey lately,” he said, his tone apologetic.

You couldn’t help yourself. Looking him in the eye, you spoke. “We’ve missed you, Rintarou. It’s not as fun without you around.”

“Gee, thanks,” Osamu muttered, but you hardly heard him. For the first time in weeks, Suna was looking directly at you, his gaze almost soft.

“Can’t imagine how rough it must be for you to have to spend time with these two goons,” he said, grinning.

“I’m standing right here, man,” Osamu said, his voice sounding only slightly annoyed.

You laughed, and to your amazement Suna returned it. You could feel your heart pounding against your ribs, hopeful that this awkward tension between you two was finally over.

“Text me when you guys are leaving, okay?” he said, hopping down off the counter and making for the front door. “I’ll meet you there.”

You couldn’t keep the giddy smile off your face even after he left. The thought of spending time with him again was almost too much for you.

“I wish you guys would just fuckin’ kiss already,” Osamu griped, his hands still deftly forming perfectly-shaped onigiri.

“Huh?!” you spluttered, nearly choking as his words sank in. “Who?”

“You and Sunarin, you clown. Do ya have any idea how painful it’s been watchin’ you two idiots for the past few months? Jesus, even ’Tsumu noticed.”

“Noticed what?”

“That you guys like each other!”

“I don’t—wha—,” you fumbled over your words, not entirely sure what to say. “Suna doesn’t like me!”

“Uh huh, yeah, okay. Y/n, the man made you a whole-ass pot of soup when you were sick. I’ve known him for years and he won’t even let me borrow his phone charger.”

“If he likes me, then why has he spent the last two months completely ignoring me?”

“Because Rintarou has the emotional intelligence of a fuckin’ cantaloupe.” Osamu finally turned to look at you, his hands resting on his hips. “Look, he’s never actually liked someone before—not for real, anyway—so I don’t think he knows what to do about you. He’s never gonna fess up and tell you how he feels, so his next best option is to just avoid you entirely. But he’s been missing you, real bad. I can tell.”

“So I’m supposed to be the one to tell him?”

Osamu smirked at you. “So you actually like him?”

You paused for a moment, sucking in a breath. “Yeah, I like him.”

It was the first time you had admitted it even to yourself. A wave of relief immediately washed over you, as if you had been holding onto a secret that you no longer had to hide.

Ignoring the blush you felt creeping onto your face, you forced yourself to look at your friend.

“But isn’t that weird for you? I mean, we’re your best friends, would you really be okay with it if we started dating?”

Osamu glanced up as he thought about it, taking in a deep breath and exhaling loudly. “It’d be a little weird at first, but I’d get used to it. But it doesn’t matter how I feel about it.” He looked back down at you. “If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”

“’Samu,” you wailed, “you’re gonna make me cry.”

“So, you gonna tell him or what?”

“I don’t know… what if he doesn’t feel that way about me?”

“He definitely does.”

“Well, maybe it’s just not a good idea for us to date… I mean, neither of us has ever been in a real relationship before, what if we just crash and burn?”

Osamu took in another deep breath, looking as if he was preparing himself for something unpleasant. “Look, you know I’m not a sappy guy, and I feel gross even saying this, but honestly, you and Rintarou are two of the most compatible people I’ve ever met. Even I can see how cute you guys are together. You’d be stupid not to date him.”

“Seriously, ’Samu, you’re actually gonna make me cry.”

“Whatever,” he said, turning back to make more onigiri. “Just hurry up and confess already, I miss hangin’ out with my friends.”

 --

 You waited until Atsumu and Osamu were out of the house; that way, if things didn’t go well, you could quietly slip away to collect your dignity without having to answer any questions from them first.

You stood in Suna’s doorway, heart pounding furiously in your chest as you steeled yourself for what you were about to do. He was sitting on his bed with his headphones on, looking at something on his laptop, but when you knocked on the door frame he glanced up, noticing you for the first time.  

“Hey, Rintarou,” you said, your voice a little shaky. “Can we talk?”

He took his headphones off and shut his laptop, setting it to the side and scooting forward to sit on the edge of the bed. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

Forcing yourself to take a deep breath, you stepped into his room and sat down next to him. He was looking at you intently, a small crease between his brows. You glanced down at your lap, fingers twisting nervously, before looking at his face again. If you weren’t honest with him now, you never would be.

“I like you,” you said bluntly, “more than just a friend.” Suna’s lips parted slightly as if he wanted to say something, but no sound came out. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,” you continued, really struggling now to hold his gaze. “I just… I had to tell you. And I’m sorry if that makes things weird between us, that’s not what I want. Your friendship means a lot to me and I don’t want to lose that, so even if you don’t—”

“Y/n.”

Your words caught in your throat, afraid of what he was about to say.

“Can I kiss you?” His voice was impossibly soft, the question sounding so delicate as it fell past his lips.

You could have sworn your heart stopped beating for a moment. You nodded your head. “Yes.”    

Suna’s hand reached up to cup your cheek before he leaned in, agonizingly slowly, to press his mouth to yours. His lips were so soft, his touch incredibly gentle. Placing both hands on the back of his neck, you melted into him, sighing as his other arm wrapped around your waist to pull you in closer. You could feel him grinning against your lips just before he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against yours.

“I like you, too,” he said softly.

Returning his smile, you leaned in to fit your mouth to his again, relishing the way it felt to be held by him, to have him kiss you so tenderly. It took all of your willpower to pull away from him.

“Rin, I have to go,” you whispered against his lips.

“What?” His expression was puzzled as you abruptly stood up.

“I have class in ten minutes,” you explained, making your way to the door.

“So you’re just gonna drop that on me and then dip?”

You turned to look at him over your shoulder, grinning. “Yup.”

“Unbelievable,” he muttered, but the smile was still on his face even as you left.

 --

 The first few weeks after you and Suna started dating passed by in a blur. The heartache you had felt when he kept his distance from you had been replaced by a constant feeling of joy at the knowledge that you were together now. You still got butterflies every time you saw him, your heart melting each time you pressed a kiss into his cheek and saw a blush creep onto his face.

The only complaint you had was that after three weeks, you and Suna still hadn’t slept together. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried, but there was always something that prevented you from actually succeeding: he was too exhausted after finishing volleyball practice; you both had term papers to work on; someone on your floor burnt popcorn in the microwave, setting off the fire alarm. The closest you two came to doing anything was one night when you thought you had the house to yourselves. You and Suna were making out on his bed, and he was just about to take off your shirt when Atsumu suddenly burst into the room to ask if they were all out of laundry detergent. He had quickly left, smirking, after realizing what he was interrupting, but you were too embarrassed to continue after he closed the door.

At this point, it had been over a year since you last had sex, and you were starting to go a little crazy. You were pretty sure Suna knew it, too, based on the smirks he gave you when he happened to catch the way you would stare at him periodically. After the length of time it took for you two to finally admit your feelings for each other, it was incredibly frustrating that the universe seemed to be keeping you apart again.

The end of the semester rolled around, and the twins decided to throw another big party before finals week. You managed to convince Suna to not hide in his room the entire time, and to your amazement he seemed to be having a good time, laughing in the corner with some friends from the volleyball team.

You were sitting on the couch next to Osamu, slowly sipping the beer in your hand. He was talking to you about your plans for the summer, but you couldn’t stop your attention from drifting over to your boyfriend every once in a while, grinning at him each time you happened to catch his eye.

“Our parents are renting that beach house for two weeks in July, you wanna come with us again?” Osamu asked, drawing your gaze back to his face.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that sounds fun,” you said, a little distracted.

“Your boyfriend can come, too, of course,” he smirked.

“Shut up,” you groaned, trying to hide your blushing face by downing the rest of your drink.

“Bet you’re gonna miss him, yeah? Three months is a long time to be apart from your lover.”

“I swear to god, ’Samu, if you don’t shut the fuck up…” you grumbled, but you couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face at your friend’s teasing.

Osamu’s attention was stolen then by someone asking him to go do shots, so you got up and walked to the kitchen by yourself to throw out your empty beer bottle. After you tossed it in the bin, you felt warm hands encircle your waist and a familiar voice whispered into your ear.

“It’s getting kinda crowded down here, you wanna go upstairs?” Suna’s warm breath tickled your ear, making you shiver in his arms. Turning around to face him, you gave him a quick kiss before taking him by the hand and leading the way to the stairs.

Closing his bedroom door muffled the sounds of the party, and you were able to breathe easier now that you were alone with him. Suna scrolled through his phone briefly before finding the playlist he was searching for, setting his phone down once the music started playing.

“Hey,” you said, grinning as you recognized the song, “this is the same playlist that you put on the night we met.”

He took a few steps towards you, arms snaking around your waist to pull you in close. “I know,” he said simply before leaning down to kiss you. You allowed him to deepen it, lips parting for his tongue, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt.

Without breaking away, Suna guided you to his bed, gently laying you down and crawling on top of you, his knee coming up to press between your legs. You moaned into his mouth, feeling him grin against you. Breathing hard, you pulled his shirt over his head, leaning back so that you could look at him. You had known he was fit from all the times your body had been pressed against his, but seeing his muscular form with your own eyes was different. You squirmed under him, feeling your arousal growing between your thighs.

“I’ve wanted this for a long time, Y/n,” he whispered, leaning down to press kisses into your neck.

“I know,” you murmured.

“Yeah?” He pulled your shirt off of you, warm hands burning into your skin. “Do you know what I’m gonna do next?” he teased in a low voice, mouth moving down over your collarbones as his hands came up to cup your breasts, thumbs rolling over your nipples through your bra.

“Rin,” you whined when he pulled down the fabric to suck one of your nipples into his mouth, his other hand coming to rest between your thighs, groaning against your skin when he felt the wetness seeping through your shorts.

“Yeah, baby?” He was kissing a line down your stomach, goosebumps rising in his wake. He tugged off your shorts and panties together as you sat up to unhook your bra, tossing it onto the floor without taking your eyes off his face. Your hands immediately moved to the waistband of his pants, unbuttoning them as you planted sloppy kisses across his chest. He wriggled out of them and threw them to the side, before wrapping a hand around each of your legs and spreading them apart. “Is this what you wanted?” he asked, lips gliding over the soft skin of your inner thigh. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me, baby. I know how badly you want this.”

You whimpered, fingers running through his hair and gripping tightly. His warm breath ghosted over your skin, making you shiver again. A loud moan escaped you when he finally pressed his tongue against your pussy, running slowly over your folds and circling around your clit before moving back down. He repeated the motion, making your breath come out in short pants as your fingers tangled themselves further in his hair.

“God, you taste so sweet,” he moaned against you. His hands pressed down on your hipbones, pinning you in place as you started trembling around him, small whimpers leaving your mouth the closer you came to your release. You drew your legs up, the heel of one of your feet resting on his back as your spine arched, pressing into his mouth.

“Fuck, Rin, I’m so close,” you gasped out. He hummed, hands reaching up to trace his fingertips along your sides. You started moving your hips and he stilled, holding his tongue out for you to grind against. Within seconds you were cumming, legs shaking and nails digging almost painfully into his scalp. He kept his mouth open to allow you to ride out your high, gaze trained on your face.

“You’re so cute, baby,” he murmured, moving to plant a row of kisses up your throat and over your jaw. “So fucking cute.” His lips fitted against yours as he grinded into you, the friction against your clit making you gasp.

“Rin,” you whispered, pulling away to look in his eyes, “lie down.”

He rolled off of you, reaching out with both hands to pull you on top of him. You kissed him once, teasingly, before sitting up and gazing down at him. With one finger, you traced a line from his throat down over his chest and stomach, coming to rest where the skin dipped down between his hipbones, smiling to yourself at the way he shivered from your touch. Hooking your fingers underneath the waistband of his boxers, you gently tugged them off of him, watching the way his thick cock sprang out to slap against his abs. Heart pounding excitedly, you dragged your nails over the top of his thigh, pleased when his muscles tensed beneath you.

“Don’t tease me, baby,” he groaned, fingers digging into your arm. “I’ve had to wait so long for this.”

You would have been content to make him wait even longer, wanting to hear him begging you to touch him, but the pleading look in his eyes softened your resolve. “I know,” you purred, leaning down to run your tongue along the underside of his shaft, grinning to yourself when you heard his sharp inhale. You swirled your tongue around the tip, letting your spit run down his length, before wrapping your lips around his cock.

Soft moans and pants reached your ears as you slowly took all of him into your mouth. When the head of his cock hit the back of your throat you paused, tears forming at the corners of your eyes from the stretch of your jaw. You slid your tongue along his cock as you hummed lightly, eliciting a loud groan from him. Your hand came to grip his cock as you started bobbing your head up and down, moving in tandem with your mouth. Suna tilted his head to watch you, his chest rising and falling heavily. Keeping your eyes on his face, your mouth left his cock with a wet pop and moved down to suck on his balls, your hand continuing to jerk him off.

“F-fuck,” he moaned, throwing his head back against the pillow. His fingers entwined themselves in your hair, gripping firmly, but you had reached the limit of your patience. You crawled back on top of him, thighs planted on either side of his hips, and used your hand to drag his cock along the folds of your cunt.

“I wanna feel you, Rin,” you said breathlessly as his hands gripped your hips. “Wanna feel you inside me.”

Pressing his tip into you, you slowly sank down onto him, loving the way his mouth fell open as you took him completely inside you. The stretch made you gasp, head falling forward to rest against the crook of his neck. You kissed the skin just below his ear as you started grinding your hips against him, his fingers digging into your soft flesh. The sensation on your clit made you moan into his skin.

“Does that feel good, baby?” he whispered.

“Feels good,” you whimpered, your pace quickening. “S-so good.”

“Oh fuck, you’re so tight…”

The knot in your stomach was rapidly tightening. A few more motions were all it took for you to be cumming again; you pressed your lips against Suna’s, tongue reaching into his mouth as your orgasm washed over you.

When your hips stilled, he lifted you off of him and flipped you over onto your back, nipping at the skin of your neck as he repositioned himself between your legs. With a groan, he sank into you again, hips snapping against you urgently. Your body already felt worn out, but the sensation of him fucking you so deeply had you clawing at his back, desperately trying to pull him closer to you. He lifted your trembling legs onto his shoulders, the new angle of his cock thrusting into you making you cry out.

“Is that your spot, baby?” he crooned, repeatedly hitting the place that made your breath catch in your throat.

“Yes, yes, yes, right there, Rin, p-please don’t stop!” you babbled. One of your hands reached out to grab his and bring it to your neck, eyes pleading with him.

His fingers tightened around your throat. “Fuck, you look so cute taking my cock like that. You gonna cum again, pretty girl? Gonna cum all over my cock for me?”

His grip on your throat was making you lightheaded, the friction against your clit sending pleasant vibrations throughout your entire body. The spot his cock was hitting inside your pussy had you hurtling towards the edge again, eyes rolling back as you incoherently begged him not to stop.

“Rin, I-I’m cumming—fuck, fuck, fuck,” you practically sobbed as your pussy clenched around him again. He released his hold on your throat, moving his hand up to lift your jaw and kiss you deeply, relishing when you moaned into his mouth. Your lips parted and he rested his forehead against yours, gazing into your eyes, continuing to pound into you as you came. His breath stuttered as his thrusts grew more erratic, his face flushed as his cock throbbed inside you, hot cum filling your cunt.

“Fuck, Y/n,” he murmured against your lips before kissing you again, slower than before. He pulled out and laid down beside you, breathing hard. You reached up to brush the loose strands of hair out of his face, fingers running over his cheekbones.

“Why did we wait so long to do this,” you asked, making him laugh.

“We’re so fucking stupid,” he said with a grin.

You exhaled happily, moving closer to him and nestling your head against his chest. His arm reached out to wrap around you and press his palm into your spine to pull you closer. He was warm, but your uncovered body shivered against the chill in the air, goosebumps rising along your skin.

“Here, cutie,” he said, shifting so that he could pull the comforter over you. “Comfy?”

“Hmm,” you hummed, closing your eyes and pressing a kiss into his collarbone.

With Rin’s arm around you and his steady heartbeat in your ear, you fell asleep almost instantly, feeling more content than you had in a long time.

 --

 You woke up before Suna. He had moved in his sleep, now lying on his back with one arm outstretched underneath your head. You watched him for a moment, smiling at the calm expression on his face, before climbing out of bed slowly, careful not to disturb him. Putting on your panties and one of Suna’s oversized t-shirts, you slipped out the door to walk to the bathroom down the hall.

Osamu and Atsumu’s doors were still closed, a fact that you were grateful for when you reached the bathroom and saw your reflection in the mirror. Your hair was a tangled mess, your neck littered with little love bites, damning indicators of what you had been up to the night before. Splashing your face with water, you tried to scrub off the smeared remnants of yesterday’s makeup. Satisfied when you no longer looked like you spent the night in a club, you crept back into your boyfriend’s room.

“Hey,” Suna mumbled when you stepped back through the doorway, propping himself up on one elbow and rubbing his eyes with the other hand.

“Hey.” You smiled at him as you shut the door.

“Take those clothes off and come back to bed.”

You giggled, shrugging out of your clothes and stepping towards his outstretched arms. He pulled you into a tight embrace, peppering your face with kisses. He settled you down on your side next to him, pulling your thigh up to rest on his hip.

“Rin!” you squealed when you felt the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance.

“I just wanna be inside you, baby,” he murmured. His touch had already made you wet, allowing his cock to slide into you easily. You sighed as his hips pressed up against yours.

His lips met with yours, his kiss achingly sweet. “I don’t ever want you to leave this bed,” he breathed out. You smiled against his lips, fingers running through his soft hair. He shifted his hips then, and the sensation was too much for you.

“O-oh,” you whimpered as your pussy tightened around him.

“Are you cumming?” he asked, the corner of his lips quirking up into a grin.

“Sh-shut up.”

He didn’t say anything else, simply tightening his arms around you and kissing you again. The two of you lay like that for a while, slipping into a peaceful state of half-sleep, until the sound of a distant door being flung open pulled you back.

“Fuck,” Suna mumbled under his breath. Not a second later, a loud knock sounded from the other side of his door.

“Sunariiiiin,” Atsumu’s voiced whined from the hallway. “Are you guys up yet?”

“Is that door locked?” Suna whispered to you. Commending yourself for your earlier foresight, you nodded. “Good.”

“Suna! Y/n!” He pounded on the door. “I know you guys can hear me, come on!”

“I gotta get my own place,” Suna grumbled, his eyes still closed. You giggled, and when the knocking on the door stopped you snuggled in closer to him, ready to go back to sleep.

Until your phone started ringing.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you groaned, reaching out to grab it from the nightstand. “What do you want, Atsumu?”

“Aha! I knew you were awake!” He sounded very pleased with himself for succeeding in getting you to talk to him. “Can you make me pancakes?”

There was a pause as his question sank in. Holding your phone to your head and staring at Suna, you pulled away from him and sat up, eliciting a low groan from him. “You want me to make you pancakes?” you repeated in an incredulous voice. Suna cracked open his eyes, his face scrunching up as he heard Atsumu’s request.

“Yeah!”

“Get Osamu to do it.”

“He doesn’t make them as good as you!”

You could practically hear him pouting on the other end of the line. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you heaved a sigh. “Give me a minute.”

“Thankyouthankyouthanky—” You ended the call before he finished. Climbing out of bed, you pulled on your clothes again.

“Are you actually gonna do it?” Suna asked.

“He’s just gonna keep harassing us until I do it anyway,” you said. “Besides, it’s almost ten o’clock, we might as well get up.”

Suna rolled over and pressed his face into the pillow, groaning loudly. Grinning, you tossed a clean pair of boxers and a shirt at him.

Atsumu looked way too happy when you finally appeared downstairs. He and Osamu were sitting at the kitchen counter together; they nudged a steaming mug towards you when you walked in.

“We made you coffee,” he said, his grin wide across his face.

“Uh huh,” you grumbled.

“Where’s mine?” Suna asked as he trailed in behind you.

“Make your own, dick,” Osamu told him, smirking as he sipped his own drink.

Suna rolled his eyes, going to pour himself a cup from the coffeemaker.

Trying to hide your laughter from him, you gathered up the ingredients and set to work. When all the pancakes were done cooking you passed half of them across the counter to the twins.

“Mmm,” Atsumu hummed, closing his eyes as he took a bite. “So good.”

“I gotta teach you how to make these yourself, ’Tsumu,” you said, taking a bite of your own breakfast.

“Yeah, that way you clowns can let us sleep in for once,” Suna added.

“Don’t pretend, Y/n,” Atsumu said, “you know you love seeing my cute little face first thing in the morning.”

“I prefer seeing ’Samu’s, actually,” you teased. Osamu stuck his tongue out at his twin, laughing at his crumpled expression.

When you all finished eating, Atsumu and Osamu jumped up to wash the dishes for you. Holding your mug of coffee with both hands, you leaned into Suna’s side.

Looking over his shoulder at you two, Osamu grinned. “So, how was your night?”

“Fine,” you said in a casual tone.

“And that’s all you’re gonna get out of us,” Suna finished.

Osamu rolled his eyes, turning back to the dishes in the sink. “As if I’d want any details.”

“My night was great, thanks for asking,” Atsumu chimed in.

“Yeah? Was that before or after you puked in the backyard?”

“’Samu!”

You couldn’t help the relaxed smile that found its way onto your face, happy to get to listen to them teasing each other like always. With one hand resting on the counter, Suna’s other reached around your waist to tug you closer, fitting your body against his. Standing there laughing with your friends, with his arm around you, felt like the most natural thing in the world.

--

➣epilogue

--

➣masterlist

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Payback | Dean Winchester

✦ pairing — Dean Winchester x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 2.2k

✦ request — I was wondering if you could do a dean winchester imagine that is like the reader is like young and has been with the boys since she was 18 and now she’s like around 21 or 22. She lives at the bunker with them and helps with research. So, basically she’s fallen in love with dean and has been in love with him for years. She never says anything because she watches him go after all these skinny girls and thinks she will never be good enough since she’s big and doesn’t think he’d ever like her. Then one day she basically just reaches a breaking point and it comes out to dean, and after some angst they get together. Then maybe some fluff or smut?

✦ warnings — angst, age gap (reader is in her twenties while Dean is in his forties), reader is kinda insecure at times, language, mentions of past sexual partners, mentions of a past ilegal relationship, a twinge of jealousy, suggestive stuff, some fluff.

════════════════════════

You heard laughs on the other side of the bar, right under the Bud Light neon sign. Unable to stop yourself, you looked that way.

A small friend group had erupted in laughter. There was a tall guy in the middle of two redheads — you couldn’t see very well, but you could tell he had caught you staring.

So you deviated your eyes to the right, where the bartender served one of your companions another beer. A couple of beers in fact. Dean was talking to a woman, undoubtedly charming her as he rested his elbow on the bar and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

You couldn’t look any longer, you would be sick if you did. He should’ve been doing that to you.

Realistically, you were probably twice her size or more, but you still could dream.

That was the problem, truly — you only could dream. Dean would quit hunting before even considering seeing you as a potential conquest. By this point, you should have been used to it.

Your eyes went back to the friend group from earlier. The tall guy held your gaze for a moment — you couldn’t figure out his eye color, or what his eyes showed under the uneven light, but you damn well could see he was handsome.

Not wanting to give him the wrong impression, you turned to your side and picked up your jacket.

Maybe you should also start to pay attention to the men who were actually interested.

But they weren’t Dean Winchester.

Comparing every man you met to him was a reflex, just like comparing yourself to the women he picked up at bars.

The Bunker was eerie every hour of the day, but there was something especially uncanny about an empty Bunker in the middle of the night. Devastatingly so.

Turning on the lights as you made your way towards the library, you made a beeline towards the kitchen. You weren’t in the mood for drinking anymore or for food, but you knew you needed to drink water.

Taking refugee in the library, you looked around a few news sites to see if you found something. It wasn’t difficult to find something shady or weird going on, but filtering out conspiracy theories was a pain in the ass.

Eventually, you found just what you were hoping you would. Dean and Sam rarely took you with them for hunts, but perhaps you could convince them this time to at least let you watch from the car.

Sam came home a little later, tipsy enough to be in a good mood. You told him about the case you had found, he said he would check it out in the morning and wished you a goodnight.

Dean didn’t come home. Why would he when he could have literally anybody he wanted?

You didn’t get any sleep. You had hoped that listening to an audiobook would lull you, but like most things, it wasn’t enough to even entertain you.

You were sick of this, of being into somebody who would never be into you. And who the fuck loses sleep for somebody who doesn’t see them as anything more than a sibling? You, apparently.

You needed coffee and a hug, but coffee by itself would have to do.

To your luck, Dean was already in the kitchen when you entered. His hair was wet which meant he was, thankfully, fresh out of the shower.

Instead of greeting you, he asked, “Where’s Sammy?”

You shrugged. “I haven’t seen him since last night.”

“He took the car.”

You didn’t even know Sam had brought the car home the night before. “He must have found the case interesting.”

“There’s a case?”

“Kind of. It’s not too far away from here,” you explained, “but I wasn’t sure it was something up our alley. I guess Sam thought it was.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you weren’t here.” You could tell your answer offended him. Good.

“You should have called.”

“Babying you isn’t my job, Dean.”

“Funny you say that when babysitting you isn’t mine and yet...”

“Can you stop treating me like a fucking child for two seconds?”

“Stop acting like one and I might.”

“God, you’re fucking insufferable. I can’t believe I’m in love with you!”

You didn’t know whose eyes were wider, if his or yours.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath.

He tried to be nonchalant, but Dean couldn’t even move. “Sweetheart, come on. It’s okay.”

You effusively shook your head. “It’s isn’t.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“No, you don’t get to tell me what to do or how to fucking react.” You were yelling now. Why were you yelling over this?

“I— well, I don’t know what to say.” He stuttered. “I mean, you are a kid. I could be your dad who had a kid at a young age, okay? This is fucking crazy.”

“You weren’t supposed to know. It’s humiliating.”

“I’m not going to give you shit about it.”

“No, you are. And then you’re gonna go and fuck somebody who’s actually hot and interesting and you’re gonna make me feel worse.”

“Hey, you’re interesting.”

“I’m not. And even then, you don’t go for them because they’re interesting, do you?”

“What do you want me to say?”

You wanted him to say that you were attractive too, that he would go for you in a heartbeat.

“Nothing.”

Both of you remained silent then. He had many chances to make it right, to have enough pity for you to at least apologize for not realizing you were in love with him sooner.

“ I’m gonna go,” you announced, having decided that this wasn’t worth it. The humiliation hurt, but his reaction stung.

He reached over and stopped you. “Wait, wait, wait.”

“What now?” Your voice broke and your lip trembled. Not now, you thought. But now it was.

“Don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.”

He hugged you to his chest. “I hate seeing you cry.”

His arms were tightly wrapped around you, a hand on the back of your head and the other on your upper back.

“You’re making me feel even more stupid,” you admitted through tears.

Dean sighed heavily. His hand twitched against your clothed skin as he tried to keep himself from rubbing his face. “You know, maybe you need a break.”

“Are you really trying to get rid of me already?”

He didn’t deny it. So you pushed him off you and stormed out. You couldn’t even get a fucking consolation hug.

════════════════════════

You liked to think you were doing a good job avoiding him. It wasn’t like he spent that much time at home either way.

Expecting him to care had been too much, it seemed. You hadn’t wanted him to beg, or even fantasized about him chasing after you — you just wanted him to care, to at least told you he would forget about it or pretend you hadn’t said anything.

Sam entered the library, feigning interest in the stack of books you had piled on the table two nights ago.

He stalled, opening the one on top as though he hadn’t seen it before.

You shuffled in your seat. Waiting for whatever he would say.

He cleared his throat so you’d look up. You did.

“Dean and I are going out for a drink or two. Want to come?”

“No, I’m gonna watch something on my laptop and go to bed early.”

Sam gave you a worried look. “Well, if you need anything...”

“Have fun.”

Maybe Dean had been right, maybe you needed a break, and maybe —just maybe— this wasn’t the place you were meant to be at.

But you wanted to be there, and you wanted him. It fucking sucked that you would never get what you wanted just because you weren’t thin.

Story of your life.

You stayed in the library longer than you planned and eventually your tv marathon was held there. You had everything you needed and the chairs were comfortable enough.

Your laptop rested on the other side of the table as you leaned onto said table with your forearms and laid your head on your arm.

A knock on the thick door startled you. Looking up, you found green eyes.

“Did I scare you?”

You pressed the space bar to pause your show. “I wasn’t expecting you guys to come back early.”

“Sammy left with somebody so he’s not coming home tonight.”

You hummed, unsure as to what you were supposed to say. Should you say that you were happy for Sam? Should you ask why he hadn’t left with somebody too?

Dean spoke before you could come up with something. “Can we, uh, talk?”

Seeing you nod, Dean approached the table. He didn’t sit down, forcing you to crane your neck.

“I’ll find somewhere else to live,” you assured him.

He frowned, looking down as he searched for your now shifty eyes. “You’re leaving?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted to talk about?”

“No.” He rubbed his palm against his forehead. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

You twisted your mouth. “It’s a little late for that.”

He hurriedly said, “I don’t want you to leave. You’re part of the family.”

“I think I deserve space to move on.”

A groan slipped past his throat and lips, rumbling in his chest. He was growing desperate. “Look... I’m trying to be the responsible adult here because God knows you won’t be.”

“So now I’m an adult?”

“It was never my intention to treat you like a child. I just wanted to put some distance between us.”

“You could have said so.” You didn’t think you would need to state the obvious to somebody as smart as Dean.

“I didn’t want things to be weird or to give the impression that I could take advantage of you if you were too close. I would never do that.”

Not proud enough to pretend you knew what he was talking about, you admitted, “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

“You’re pretty,” he blurted. “Really fucking pretty and interesting and so attractive that’s kinda unfair. And you’re also too young.”

“Dean.”

“Mmmh?”

“Kiss me.”

“Weren’t you listening to me?”

“Just kiss me,” you insisted. “We’ll forget about it if it doesn’t feel right.”

Dean took the chair beside yours out and pulled it to the side. His eyes didn’t meet yours as he leaned in, but they did when his nose brushed yours.

He softly placed his lips on top of yours. You saw his eyes screw shut before you closed yours. It was short and sweet, and when he parted from you, you feared you would have to go back to hide the way you felt about him.

Grabbing you by the waist, Dean made you stand up. He wrapped an arm around you while you rested your hands on his sides as a reflex.

He kissed you again, hard. So hard he unintentionally pushed you against the table. His tongue tasted of whiskey and those bacon-flavored chips you had never had the heart to tell him weren’t that good.

You brought a hand up to the back of his neck, kissing him deeply.

Dean took advantage of the fact that he had you trapped between the table and his body to caress yours. He started with your back and dragged his hands down to your ass.

His hands traveled to your torso, where he could surely feel your belly up, fingers toying with the hem of your black t-shirt.

You stopped his fingers from lifting your top and pulled away from the kiss. “Wait.”

“Having second thoughts?” he breathlessly asked.

“I’m not what you’re used to,” you explained through ragged breathing. “At all.”

”Really?”

You nodded, ashamed. One thing was him knowing how big you were and other was him seeing it for himself.

“Don’t take this the wrong way...”

“That’s a great way to let me know you’re about to insult me.” Fuck. You were getting defensive again — what a way to kill the mood.

“I’m not!” he defended himself. “I was going to point out that you’ve been around for a relatively short amount of time to know what I’m used to.”

“I’ve never seen you with a fat person before.”

“And I’ve never seen you with somebody older than you before.”

Was he playing dumb? “Of course you have.”

“Huh? When?”

“That guy in Texas was well in his thirties. And I dated somebody in their twenties when I was 16, I’m not too proud of that one, but—“

He interrupted you. “Nevermind. Shut up.” Dean kissed you again, bringing you flush against him.

You smiled against his mouth. “Is somebody jealous?”

“Maybe.”

“Good. Serves you right.”

“You’re evil.” He bit down your bottom lip and pulled on it.

“It’s just payback, I promise.”

Dean snorted. “Can’t say I don’t deserve it.”

You remained silent, allowing him to dissipate the tension. You would let him do whatever he wanted, regardless of the outcome, but you were too scared to say it.

You didn’t have to.

“Hey.” He cupped your face. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he assured you. His voice was uncharacteristically soft. “We can take our time.”