#me simply saying genocide is wrong is enough for them to be offended

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

i posted something in support of palestine on my popular side blog and i lost like 15 followers within 30 minutes. it's wild because literally all i said was that i'm against genocide and i need to speak up about it and not be silent. like that's it. just that i'm against genocide. but apparently people take me saying that i condemn genocide as a controversial statement somehow

Free Palestine is not a political statement, it's a humanitarian one.

[kassadeen]

season 6b could've been objectively impactful, yet it wasn't. the core idea of this season hit on a subject that was completely new and different from the other seasons. the main villain was human ourselves instead of a newly introduced supernatural being. people of beacon hills, including monroe, were rightfully scared and angry. their lives were constantly put in danger, these supernatural dangers that they didn't understand and no one was willing to explain. they were hurt and even killed. the authorities blamed bears and wolves but deep down, they all knew something else, something unnatural, was the guilty one.

the few who figured the supernatural world out, man, they were pissed, and so they did what they thought was right: hunt down what was hunting them. now, i'm not saying the genocide (yes, genocide, they just weren't successful) was right because hell it wasn't, but they thought so, or gerard and monroe led them to think so.

i know the anukite played a great part in this but i believe the story would be more impactful without it. putting the blame on the anukite felt like excusing the so-called hunters of their problematic choices, which leads to my point: the idea was good, but the execution was truly disappointing.

jd made some bad choices like he always does. the anukite was one. i think that storyline was genuinely unnecessary. it took away a whole layer of meaning from the story. "the hunters acted like that because of the affect of the anukite" was the main excuse but there was never a need for such an excuse. genocides have happened before (sometimes also because a group of people feels intimidated by another group) and although i have no idea whether it will happen again in real life or not, this is enough evidence to say that it is well within human nature to do such vicious thing to each other. there was no need for an anukite to push people over the edge, they could do that themselves. the real monster isn't something big; it is among us, around us, inside us. focusing on this aspect would give the season a whole new layer of meaning that would honestly be impactful.

at the same time, this human villain would still be completely different from previous human villains like gerard or peter. except for the ones in authority who actually knew what they were doing, the hunters as a whole weren't self-righteous, weren't born into opposition to the supernatural world, weren't doing this for their personal benefit. what they did came from the primal need for self protection. the show would instantly gain a new depth since the villain-protagonist relationship is no longer 2D. no side is completely right or wrong. the audience would've had a chance to really think about the show and truly carve out a place for the season in their minds.

the dubious sense of morality would also be a great chance for scott's humanity to thrive since being high and mighty was pretty much his cup of tea. instead of only having the eye poking scene to prove that scott was brave and scott was smart, wouldn't putting him in a mentally devastating situation where he has to question his own morality yet could still come up with a satisfying solution be much more interesting and convincing that scott deserved the title "true alpha" he was supposed to be according to jd?

the characters' victory against the villains was so anticlimactic i was shocked to find out that was the end of a 100 episode franchise. of course, we now know there is a movie coming but at the time, the end was the end. that was it, no more adventures and fights and victories, yet that was how things all ended? they stopped an entire genocide by throwing some powder at a monster? personally, i was a bit offended by the ending. setting the fact that they won the entire war simply by defeating 1 monster aside, how the anukite was killed was just ×#&&#*@ you're telling me that the good old mountain ash swept that godforsaken creature off of the face of the earth in 1 neat try while they had to do all those crazy shits to beat the villains in previous seasons? and monroe was still alive for fuck's sake! she never died! bitch walked out of the door fully intact! rumours had it that this was to leave space for more content to come but honestly, i think it was just another one of jd's very bad choices.

the two storylines happening at the same left very little space for anything outside of the war itself. the way the deaths, relationships between characters, and character development were handled was too rushed for any feeling to settle in while the audience was watching the show. i think jd wanted to do too many things that nothing reached its full potential of development. i couldn't really feel the suspense and stress that the anukite supposedly brought, there was barely any grief for brett and lori (i know they were side characters but still), and especially, what the hell was going on between liam and theo?? the tension wth?? the hints?? the blatant queerbaiting?? theo's reappearance wasn't any good too, i might add. he was homeless, it was a really big deal, yet nothing was done about that fact. it was introduced to ignite some sense of empathy for theo then when it fulfilled its purpose, it was completely abandoned.

what about the aftermath of all this? they can't just go back to normal and pretend that the entire town tried to hunt down a group of people with a very clear intention of genocide in mind, can they?

that's it for now, might add more in future edits. love yall <3

[the-last-kenobi]

I really don’t mean to offend you, but… lambasting someone for speaking the truth and explaining Anakin’s actions with supporting evidence, just because it’s hard to hear is… wrong. It’s hard to disregard your own biases and listen with an open mind, but I’ve done it. The biggest problem is that there aren’t enough people who do that, and I’m not saying you’re one of them. Only you know the answer to that. I hate when people are fighting, especially people I know. Just saying… :)

Hi, fanfictasia! I think we’ve been in one another’s orbits for a long time, following and liking posts and definitely an ask or two! It’s nice to have a conversation.

I don’t have a problem with honest discourse. I like running up against differing opinions - even if in the moment it can be quite annoying! No one particularly loves to have their head canons challenged. And Star Wars is complicated. There’s like ten different layers of canon, not to mention the Disney upheaval that scrambled that even further!

What I do have a problem with is being labeled with such things as “Kenobist” and “ignorant” because I refuse to engage in a drawn-out fight.

Did I have replies for each and every one of englishlady’s points? Yes. Could she have replied to those with more points? Almost definitely. Could I then have countered those? Yup. It would have gone on and on.

And sometimes that can be fun.

But when people refuse to hear about Anakin’s responsibility for his own actions, even under persuasion, and then throw around labels to demean people who do want to discuss those actions, it isn’t fun. When I write a post meant simply to convey the emotional devastation a betrayal like that can cause - we’ve all had friends backstab us, relationships fall apart, bullies prey on us - but having your dearest, closest friend that you trust absolutely not just stop being friends with you but commit genocide and try to kill you on the flimsy reasoning that he’s channeling from a person who manipulated them? — that’s different — when I write that post about emotional impact and get immediate anon hate and one or two comments like “everyone around Anakin deserved to have their souls and lives ruined like that” … that’s not fun.

That’s not fun at all. That’s just bullying.

I’m planning a post that does go back and counter the points englishlady raised, because they’re interesting and I think people in the Star War’s tags should be able to hear both sides.

But I refuse to engage with her like that, in a back-and-forth where I’m being called names and called fake because I opened my phone one morning to a post full of bitterness and one-sided evidence, when I was literally on vacation and not in the mood to go trudging through wookipedia and other sources just to reply.

I refuse to open my inbox, my notifications, my posts, and my multuals to that kind of heat.

I believe all the characters of Star Wars are deeply flawed. They all tick me off, even infuriate me, sometimes. They make bad choices.

Anakin’s character design is literally that he’s the bad history. The amazing potential that chose otherwise, because he had traumas in his past and a selfish inclination towards possessive love. Remember that Luke came first, story-wise, and that Anakin is his backstory, the tragic hero turned villain that needed redemption. His son Luke is the traumatized hero with people emotionally pulling him in different directions, who almost falls into a very similar trap of love and power, but chooses to resist.

I won’t bow to labels and accusations over something as entertaining and individualized as a fandom.

Nor will I stop discussing my own opinions, just as much as others will.

Thanks for the ask :)

[nostuntmanneeded]

TL;DR - Stop downplaying and trivializing racism and cultural appropriation. You are in no position to select a particular aspect from the culture of a highly oppressed group for your convenience and entertainment if you are actively complicit to all the atrocities being inflicted upon them

I'm about to go on a full blast rant because I've been seeing people the whole "fuss" about the cultural appropriation "claims'' about her are starting to get overkill, obviously not understanding the term in its fullest sense and the gravity of it and I swear to God if I see one more of those comments , I will lose it so let me break it down for y'all so please have a sit and let's talk about supremacism :)

Most people's issue with her is not because they're "jealous", it's the fact that she actively participated in a couple of parties that heavily patronizes cultural appropriation. What the fuck is an Asian Night? You host movie nights, game nights and date nights not designated nights for you to see a culture as a mere form of aesthetic. Just over the duration of this pandemic alone, thousands of Asians had painfully suffered because of racial supremacists, you don't get to make use of Asian culture for your aesthetic and for the entertainment of your tone deaf and privileged asses all while treating Asians with so much inferiority and not seeming remotely bothered by the bigotry and violence they are putting up with. You don't get to make use of the culture they spent centuries protecting and sanctifying, the very same culture they gruelly fought for from Western imperialists like where you came from. It's as simple as that and this also goes for the people who still insist that "it's just a kimono". It's not. Asian culture is a culture, a well respected and sanctified culture, not a fashion statement, not a party theme and not a subject for non-Asians' stereotypical and tasteless jokes.

Don't even get me started with the Native American themed party, that one speaks for itself and not only did they mindlessly utilize the culture of a highly oppressed group, they also desecrated it by doing the Native American war cry, the same war cry non -indigenous peoples use as one of their many ways to mock IPs and that pisses natives off as aside from the fact that it's demeaning, it's a complete misrepresentation of a traditional and honored practice. As if that wasn't enough, they also wore traditional Native American war bonnets, keep in mind that not even every tribe members gets to wear those, as they symbolize bravery and honor and is only to be worn by the most powerful and honorable members of the tribe and if you are to wear them, you are required to ask permission from the tribal leader and not just any member of the tribe because that's how sacred it is. The idea of the party was already so wrong in itself, up to this day Native Americans are being forced to live through systemic racism, genocide and colonialism among other things and this has been going on for decades and yet we still haven't been able to put a stop to this. You don't get to take a certain aspect of their culture for your own entertainment and mock it while you remain here standing by, complicit to all these atrocities. You only see them as mascots and aesthetically pleasing trend items, not tyrannized human beings who are actively being marginalized by society and are in dire need of helping hands and voices to speak for them.

'They probably didn't know about it' is not an excuse, this is not news as like I said, this has been going on for decades. The fact that you're purely ignorant of this, especially considering that you are fully capable of having access to good and advanced education and other platforms that can provide you millions of information, says a lot about you. I'm from a different continent as well, I live in a third world country with a poor education system but I knew about this since elementary. You simply refuse to look at the ugly parts of the world that don't affect you just so you can continue living in your own privileged bubble. It also just further proves that they are in fact, cultural appropriators because let me just remind you what the difference between Cultural Appropriation and Cultural Appreciation is. Cultural Appreciation is when you take time to learn and understand a particular culture in order to extend your knowledge and perspective as regards the culture while Cultural Appropriation is taking an aspect of a culture that is not yours and using it for your own convenience and personal interest. Why the hell would you host a themed party using a culture that you don't even understand?

Preach, anon!

We had a big lesson on this in one of my media classes and I remember using Alejandra as a specific example of cultural appropriation.

Alejandra has clearly done things that have offended communities and cultures. It's one thing to learn about the culture and participating in events in order to learn, but it's another thing to have themed parties and using the culture as an aesthetic for entertainment.

The ignorance Alejandra has is uncanny. It's practically common sense at this point to be aware of appropriating culture. A grown woman who wants to be famous should know better.

[rechoired]

A problem with the Tales Of Arcadia community

First and foremost, I’d like to ask anyone taking the time to read this to please read the post all the way through before commenting on the matter. There is a lot of dirty laundry to unpack here, and some points will be building off previous ones.

I’ll get right to the point. Most everybody in the Tales of Arcadia fandom will have heard of the blog imthegingerninja / ginger-le-gay. She is one of the most well-known ToA-centric blogs, after all. (If you’re wanting to avoid her on Twitter as well, her account is Margaret Bell, or @The_Book_Bell.)

This is your PSA, TOA fandom: Ginger is a toxic, manipulative person.

This is not a claim I like to make lightly, but it’s long overdue that this issue is properly brought up within the fandom. 

I’ve seen so many people wonder why the Tales of Arcadia fandom is so small. Well, I and many others very strongly believe that Ginger is one of the main reasons for that, if not the main one. To make matters easier, I’ve tried to break this down into some main points. So let’s take a look at how Ginger falls under this category.

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT look at this post as an excuse to harass Ginger or any other blog mentioned here. This sort of behavior is NOT acceptable. The point of this post is to educate those who may not know the extent of her harrowing behavior, nothing more.

1. Dishonesty and Death Threats

[EDIT: Shortly after this post went up, she started blatantly lying about me to try to cover for herself. You can see those lies being easily disproven here]

Ginger has been kicked from at least three Tales of Arcadia servers, all for similar reasons of violence. While I cannot provide screenshots as I am no longer part of the servers they were in, there are multiple witnesses that can verify the disgusting behavior she engaged in. The one I saw specifically was her saying that certain members of the fandom should be gathered up and hunted for sport, among other gross things. (Elaboration of why can be found in point 3, though it still doesn’t excuse this kind of talk)

Here is some points made by another blog that also sums up similar issues with Ginger, though:

While there were multiple instances of her inciting violence towards others, this is unfortunately one topic I cannot provide specific screenshots for at this time. But I will add them in as I can find them. That being said, I want to move to the dishonesty, something I do have a screenshot for.

While you could argue that people sometimes notice the similar things, this is far too close together to be considered an “original find”. The reblog button is there for a reason, but she instead decides to steal the OP’s premise and present it as her own original thought.

There have been a couple other blogs that have confirmed that their theories and analysis posts were often stolen and presented as Ginger’s own as well, to the point where they stopped bothering even making such posts, as the above blog points out. (Out of respect for their privacy, I will not be naming these blogs. Say what you will about that possibly weakening my point, but if she’s willing to so blatantly steal from that person shown above, it shouldn’t surprise you that she’s so willing to do it to others.)

Theory-making and analysis posts aren’t as solidly “original content” as a piece of art or fanfiction, sure, but it’s still common fandom courtesy to give credit where it’s due. Ginger has intentionally avoided extending that courtesy far too many times.

2. Hypocrisy

Most of this is going to be about past Merlin vs. Morgana drama, though there are also words to be said for the incredibly shaky relationships she forms with “friends”.

But first let’s talk about those wizards.

This is a topic I’ve tried to approach with Ginger before, but she borderline refused to acknowledge any of the points I was trying to make, and when she did, I don’t know if I just wasn’t being clear or what, but it honestly looked as though she was purposefully trying to misunderstand what I was saying in her bizarre responses. (To be fair, I was sending messages out of anger because she vagueposted about a blog I admired, calling them a “disgusting creep” because of them simply saying they’d hoped Jim and Merlin would be able to actually bond at some point... Not really a justifiable reaction to such a harmless thought, in my opinion. But my point is, I recognize that the circumstances may have clouded my ability to vocalize my thoughts clearly.)

That aside, we should first acknowledge this post Ginger made to save face after having gotten some backlash about hate-train related things (Side note: I couldn’t find the original post, so this is a screenshot I got from someone else. I did not add the writing. The text underneath it should still be slightly readable, I hope.):

Taken at face value, this is a very reasonable post. I think everybody would and should be able to agree on it. Hate-meme him for fun, sure, but don’t actually harass or insult others over a fictional character. Simple, right?

Apparently not, because Ginger’s done loads of that to others. Probably why the “LOL” was added in, I bet.

This post confused me. First of all, exploring dark topics (”angst”, as you put it) has never been a rare occurrence, every fandom has that content, most in heavy abundance. I’ve noticed no staggering difference in volume of this fandom compared to others I’ve been in. People enjoy angst not because they think the character “deserves to be in pain”, they enjoy a fictional blow to their own emotions. There’s lots of different reasons people like angst, but it’s barely ever been out of a genuine hate for whatever character’s the focus, from all the things I’ve seen. Your own friends have indulged in Jim angst and body horror posts before, does that mean you think they’re awful people? I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain something like this.

Also, way to basically admit you think all Merlin stans get off on child torture. So much for “If you like Merlin as a character, you’re valid”, am I right? God, what a mess of a post. (It’s been very recently deleted, which makes me wonder if she got more backlash on it, but just... wow.)

Let’s look at another one.

Again. Vagueposting about someone specific, I’d wager, since most of the people I’ve seen comment on this topic either think both characters are morally gray, or hate both. 

But of course, when it comes to Morgana, suddenly excusing bad behavior can be justified. Ginger can call someone a disgusting creep because they want a familial bond between Jim and Merlin, that’s just wrong, but pushing the Mom-gana narrative with the genocidal abuser and Toby is completely fine, folks.

(Note: I would like to point out that I really don’t care about what theories and hopes people have for Morgana. You should be allowed to love that character in any way you want, same as I would say for Merlin. My issue with these examples is the completely brazen hypocrisy in which these two characters are treated. You’re obviously allowed to love Morgana without consequence, but the same should be said for any character of the show, and yet it’s not.)

The most obvious instance of this double-standard is well observable here, I believe: 

... I think this mostly speaks for itself. Sorry, but this is very blatantly trying to excuse Morgana’s actions, here.

Oh hey, remember that post about Ginger saying that liking Merlin must mean you want to see Jim in horrible pain? 

Say anything similar about her with Morgana, and suddenly she takes issue with this line of reasoning! 

I’m sorry, but if you can’t take this sort of thing, then you shouldn’t be dishing it out. One of your own friends is still getting hate over the simple fact of liking Merlin, and all this mentality is exactly why.

Let’s look at one more.

Fun fact! Morgana horrifically abused somebody for centuries, tried to kill multiple kids, took horrible advantage of Claire (probably traumatized her), and canonically wanted to genocide humanity, not to mention all the OTHER murders she's committed, both directly and indirectly.

But somehow pointing any of this out “doesn’t count”. This is why the fandom keeps saying more and more things like this: 

And this:

I could be going through her constant hating on Merlin and people who like Merlin for days straight, but I hope you all get the idea by now.

Again, I would like to just reiterate: You can like whatever character you want for whatever reason you want. The problem with this case is the hypocrisy and mistreatment of others, not your taste in characters.

Now interestingly enough, she’s lately been singing a different tune about the guy, switching from the “I hate Merlin I hope he dies!!!” mentality to “Oh he should get a redemption arc too :)” sort of thing.

I’m highly convinced that the only reasons for this “change of heart” is because of the constant backlash she was getting for the obnoxious amount of hate posts being thrown around all the time, but also because Aaron Waltke keeps tabs on the fandom more lately, and has spoken himself about Merlin not being a villain.

I could go on about this point forever, but I think I’ll just leave the Merlin topic with this post going through the hypocrisy of the Merlin Hate Train. In fact, here’s two just for fun.

Now onto more real-world focused areas of hypocrisy. One such instance can be found in Ginger’s Janus Disorder server. 

Just take a look at this post.

While the offender in this case isn’t Ginger specifically, it still takes place in her server, and she made no moves to enforce her “No discourse” rule. All over... what? A random kudos on a fanfiction that’s not even about anything controversial since all characters involved are adults? I immensely don’t understand the point of why this ever had to be an issue, or why nobody spoke up about how ridiculous this is.

I’d also like to point out a certain user called firecat17. For some quick context, waaay back in the Kung Fu Panda fandom (around 2018), this user had been harassing people and saying incredibly vile things, a person of which Ginger had a bit of a feud, but firecat’s anon threats had gotten to the point where Ginger ended up having to block their IP. 

Obviously, the user firecat was the one in the wrong, here. (Also, the irony in this comment is through the roof...)

Interesting point there, Ginger. Sure would be nice if you practiced what you preached.

Why am I bringing this random old drama up, you may ask? Well, it just strikes me as strange that someone who was so vile to Ginger is suddenly on her okay-list again, sending her asks and getting casual responses as if nothing ever happened.

To be fair, there is the possibility that they worked out their differences in private. But given the severity of the kinds of words being exchanged, I would still find that rather suspicious.

When someone who’s said things so vile can be so easily forgiven, yet something as harmless as leaving a kudos on some random fanfiction is considered grounds for harassment, it’s obvious there’s no stability or room for trust among this group of people. Unsurprising when there’s been several instances of this “friend group” turning on each other.

If you think you’re somehow different, that your “friendship” with Ginger or the others is more valued than that, then I’m sorry to burst your bubble but it’s likely not true. She’d throw you under the bus at the hint of you doing something she deems problematic, as it’s happened to multiple blogs before you.

3. Demonization of and insensitivity towards s*xual abuse victims

(This topic is one that’s hard for me to talk about, being a victim of CSA myself, so I’ve gathered some different sources to do most of the main talking for me. I tried to form more commentary on this myself, but I get too emotionally charged in my responses, and I don’t want that to cloud any reader’s perception of what I’m trying to communicate here, so I’ll try to keep most of my comments brief on this one.)

One thing recently brought to my attention about Ginger and her squad that especially bothers me is their rashness in labeling people p*dophiles and p*do apologists. If these claims were true, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

But these people are accusing others of these horrible things and threatening them on the sole basis of fictional content.

Now before you fly off the handle at me, let me be very clear: I absolutely understand that there are gross people out there who use the “It’s all just fiction” argument to hide their actual, pr*datory behaviors. (We’ve all probably seen at least one or two neckbeard memes of that caliber)

But like it or not, exploring traumatic themes through a fictional lens is something that has been studied and proven to be a genuine coping mechanism for some. It’s not something that works for me, but I knew a few people from past therapy groups that it worked surprisingly well for. Bringing a trauma into a controlled environment and processing it through fictional means can and does help some victims deal with what they went through. 

It’s important to understand that not everyone processes their experience in the same neat, little boxes you have laid out as the only “acceptable” ways of coping. Trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy are commonly used by victims, and it does help some people, whether you like it or not.

I’m already dragging this on too much, so here are some sources for better-worded information on the topic (Warning: Most of these deal with highly sensitive themes such as gun violence and s*xual abuse.)

Source 1 - Source 2 - Source 3 - Source 4 - Source 5 (pages 61 onward, specifically) - Source 6 - Source 7 - Source 8 - Source 9 - Source 10 (and believe me, if those all don’t satisfy you, I can easily supply more.)

And this quote from source 9 I think sums it up best:

“Fiction works differently. My imagination gives me a framework to process the grief and terror and the consequences, even when I myself have not found any resolution. It allows me to enter my own traumatic experiences sideways and linger inside them, if I know I can give them to characters who might be lucky enough to find the antidote: love, connection, community, family. In other words, I can enter — and exit — the trauma loop through stories that are not exactly the same as mine.

This goes for the reader also. Recent studies periodically assure us that stories — literary fiction, hardcover books, even the simple act of reading — promote empathy. We rarely have identical experiences, so fiction is how we practice linking our similar or parallel realities so we can feel them. This seems particularly useful in our current society, where we are all so separated, and are working so hard to block the violence that keeps happening to us from our minds.

Fiction connects us, and it can also contribute to our healing. When we see ourselves in worlds we don’t live in, like The Handmaid’s Tale or The Color Purple, sometimes, that very different violence helps us finally process our own. Because as much as our memoirs and testimonies are brave and validating, fiction does not just mirror our truths so they are safe to experience; it also helps us endure the aftermath. Because long after the immediate experience is over, survival struggles onward, in every moment of our daily lives.”

While most professionals have in the past advised that victims keep their trauma-related works more private, to only show it to your trusted friends or family, the fast-growing use of the internet has led more people to sharing it in an online platform, which is not unexpected behavior.

I unfortunately don’t have the screenshot of the original post, but there was a post made some time back literally telling a fandom member to go and hang themselves over this garbage. A survivor of s*xual abuse, no less. And to top that off, one of Ginger’s squad @emmy-puff commented in support of that violent post, as well as blatantly misgendering the target of it. While, again, I was unable to get screenshots, there are multiple witnesses to this instance, one Anonymous even having called them out on it back when it happened. (I suspect that Emmy deleted that answer due to how bad it made them look.) If anybody reading this has screenshots of the initial post or the ask that came of it, please feel free to share.

I don’t care who you are or who you’re talking about, if you use misgendering someone as a way to hurt them, then you are an insult to the trans community. That is an awful thing to do, and you lose so much credibility if that’s the only thing you can fall back on when getting in a fight with someone. While this post isn’t about Emmy specifically, this is exactly the kind of hateful rhetoric that’s being encouraged in the environment Ginger’s made.

Another thing I would like to point out on this matter is an instance that happened in the ToA fandom a couple years back. I, again, don’t have screenshots available (I believe the original post ended up deleted) but the post in question caused enough of a fuss that I’m sure a few people must remember it... 

A while back, there was an artist that posted uncensored, untagged r*pe art of Aaarrrgghh, Gunmar, and Jim in the main Trollhunters tag. As you can imagine, this infuriated many people. Many of which are among the list of those who’ve been labeled “p*do apologists”. Almost the very minute that post showed up in the tag with no trigger warnings of any kind, the fandom immediately got on OP’s tail about it, because they all shared that basic understanding of “This is a traumatizing subject for many people and they should have the ability to avoid it”. If the people you’ve labelled as pr*dator supporters were really as awful as you say they are, they would’ve jumped to that person’s defense, too. But they were completely against OP’s horrible lack of consideration of survivors, right alongside the rest of the fandom.

Am I saying you have to like trauma fiction? Absolutely not. Are there people that make trauma fiction that are actual pr*dators? I’m sure there are. But those people would be that way whether trauma fiction was out there or not. Gross people have existed and will always exist regardless of what media is out there.

I deeply understand the controversy, uncertainty, and stress that surrounds this topic, I promise you, I do. But the fact of the matter is, some people actually do use trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy as a way of coping, as has been observed in people even from ages as young as 5. To say otherwise is blatantly untrue. This isn’t a matter of opinion or morals, this is plain, studied facts that you cannot change about human psychology.

Nobody should ever have to go through something as horrible as s*xual abuse of any kind, and I know how deeply upsetting it can be to see certain images or stories with those themes in play. Those users with a sense of decency and understanding for fellow victims will tag their posts with the appropriate warnings. After that, it’s up to you to filter out what you don’t want to see. You curate your own internet experience, and it’s just plain irrational to try and harass everyone into conforming to your rules. While it’s an 18+ blog’s job to make sure to tag and label their content appropriately, it is your job to block the things you don’t want to see, whether you’re an adult or a minor. It is YOUR job to blacklist content that you know will upset you, because it is always going to exist on the internet, and any internet user needs to know and understand that. Multiple times I’d seen people going off about posts that were already appropriately trigger-tagged. If you don’t have those upsetting tags blacklisted by now, then the fault is mostly on you in that kind of case, not the OP.

Before I end this topic off, just one more example of blatant disrespect towards victims:

I’m sorry, but the absolute nerve of comparing some random fictional character you’re petty over to an actual pr*dator who’s terribly hurt real children is just awful. Imagine how insulted one of Onion’s victims would be if they saw that. Lord.

Ginger claims to care about victims, but she’s made it abundantly clear that she only cares about those that behave the way she think a victim should.

4. Ableism 

I’m going to just show a couple posts here and let them mostly speak for themselves. 

Just... my God. You looked at the definition of psychopath and decided that was enough to give you qualification to speak like this about it? Do you realize the extensive work and study of human psychology goes into the diagnosis and understandings of psychopathy? Not to mention, you just admit to thinking people deserve hate because of a mental disorder they legitimately have no control over? I’m sorry, but that is just cruel. Demonization of the mentally ill is not cute or funny. Next.

While I’m still annoyed with Emmy’s transphobic treatment of another user mentioned earlier, they make a very solid point in this instance. (The first post they referenced has since been deleted, but here’s the second one speaking out against the ableism.) I feel I don’t need to add much to this, as these points have already been argued very well by users better qualified to speak on the subject than I.

5. Manipulation tactics

This part is more observations of two kinds of abuse tactics Ginger appears to demonstrate, using the above as points of reference. 

First, there’s DARVO.

Then, less formally, there’s this good point about online cult mentality.

Before you say anything, obviously I don’t think Ginger thinks of herself as some sort of deity. While it could be argued that she considers herself a point of authority within the TOA fandom maybe, I haven’t seen enough of this to say for sure how far that goes. So that point can be ignored, because it mostly doesn’t apply in this case. (The “Dictating parts of your online life” might also not apply, but I can’t say for sure as I haven’t gotten any confirmation of that sort of thing in Ginger’s group.)

But there are grains of truth in the other four points, especially that last one. Plain and simple, she’s made people afraid to speak their minds about even harmless things such as character analysis.

Ginger is someone who can’t seem to comprehend different viewpoints and life experiences. She’s extremely unsympathetic towards people she doesn’t understand, as can be observed in above examples. Assuming malicious intent from everybody you can’t understand is a dangerous and hurtful mindset to have, for both you and those who you unnecessarily scorn.

There are a few outcomes I’ve speculated should she ever come to see this post.

1. She will ignore this post completely, pretending as if it doesn’t exist

2. She will dismiss me as being some sort of horrible person, a p*do apologist or something of the sort (despite being a victim of that myself, clearly she doesn’t care about who’s actually been hurt by real p*dos or not if they don’t conform to her narrow worldview), and claim nothing I’ve said bears any meaning, despite the extensive evidence I’ve provided.

3. She will get people to try and attack me. 

4. She will actually address these points in a tactful, mature, and serious manner instead of her usual act of trying to dismiss everything at the slightest hint of non-conformity. (The least likely outcome, but one can dream.)

I could add to this post all day, but it’s long enough as it is and my focus was on getting the main points out of the way. I understand that I lack some of the receipts necessary to back myself up in a few parts, but I know that many other fans have bared witness to those things, so I know there will be at least some people who’ll know what I speak of is true, and that’s good enough for me.

That being said, if anybody has screenshots of the instances I wasn’t able to provide for, it would be greatly appreciated if you could add them into the conversation.

!!!-If you have screenshots, but are too uncomfortable to get involved in this, then you can private-message them to me and I would be grateful and more than happy to add them in while keeping you completely anonymous.-!!!

(I've removed the section with all the tags, as I recognize it was probably going overboard. My goal was just to spread information, not to try and involve those tagged, but I understand how that may have gotten lost in translation and made people uncomfortable. Also, it apparently was showing up multiple times in people’s notifications when I only tagged people twice, so I’m not sure why that glitch happened, but I apologize for that annoyance as well.)

Now, to end us off, my responses to questions or angry comments I’m probably going to get:

You don’t even have all the evidence! How are we to know you’re not just lying about some of this?

Admittedly, I don’t have as much screenshot proof as I would like, that’s true. But for most of the instances I couldn’t provide for, there were other witnesses to her bad behavior. I don’t really have the need to lie when there’s already a lot of knowledge out there of the bad stuff she has done. Nor do I really have the emotional investment in this fandom anymore to lie for the pointless reason of causing drama.

Why post this on a throwaway account if you think people are on your side?

I just don’t really want my main blog associated with TOA anymore, to be frank.

You tagged a bunch of people, so you must be trying to get them to attack Ginger!

No. I tagged a bunch of people because I think this information should be heard on a wider scale, considering the position Ginger has in the fandom. I don’t want her or anybody else to be attacked, but her negative impact on this fandom deserves to be acknowledged.

Again, I don’t think Ginger or any of the others deserve harassment or cyberbullying or anything of that manner, that’s kind of what this whole post is against. And it just hurts the situation more than it helps it. What bothers me is how she’s never apologized for or even once acknowledged the gross way she’s treated people. While she might be more low-key about it now, she still treats people who don’t deserve it like garbage. There are still several people upset about the damage she’s caused to this fandom, rightfully so. I wouldn’t be so loud about making this post if I didn’t think it was something worth drawing attention to. 

Thank you for reading.

[theloveliestfool]

After finishing Empire of Gold, I have a lot of thoughts on Dara.... and most of them are that I can’t stand him.

(obviously, spoilers ahead)

When i first read city of brass, I couldnt figure out why i didn’t like dara when he is the exact type of character i would normally fall in love with immediately but from the very beginning i felt very neutral towards him. That quickly changed as i finished cob and by the time i read empire of gold i was getting annoyed every time i had to read one of his chapters.

he has had so many chances to change and doubts about what he is doing but he never changes. dara continues to follow the exact same orders that he has since he was 18 even when he doesn’t think they’re necessarily the right move (though never truly thinking they are wrong) or when he feels like a weapon. and even at the end of eog when he has supposedly changed sides, he doesnt seem to show any differences in beliefs or biases. he shows regret for what happened to the Geziris and the Daevas and he doesn’t like that he was the one to commit acts of genocide but he does not show any sign about changing his mind about the shafit. when nahri accuses his men of sexually assaulting women at qui-zi he is offended for the sole reason that his men would never do that because the women had “lain with shafit” and were considered tainted.

a critical thing to remember is that the tipping point for him was when his own people were murdered.

not the thousand geziri people who were massacred.

not the shafit who were systematically oppressed for hundreds of years.

not even the fact that the woman he loves is also shafit is enough for him to reevaluate his life choices.

it was when he saw his own people facing the same things as everyone else that he started to act against her. actually- he didn’t act against her. he went to kartir and zaynab and told them what happened but then asked zaynab to surrender before it got worse.

“’ [submit to] the rule of a woman who plotted their deaths? who killed their kin and executes her own people?’ ‘Yes,’ dara threw his hands in the air. ‘She is hardly the worst person to sit on that throne!’” (510).

so not even the slaughter of his people was enough. and this was right after he says that “his faith in the nahids finally, fully shattered” (464). is that true if he is still working in her favor and still refuses to do what he can to end the atrocities and kill her? it is only when he becomes enslaved and loses his freedom that he becomes frantic to stop what is happening.

I recognize that he is a very complex character and that all of this started when he was a child and had been raised to listen to the nahids but it is as nahri said:

“And the people at Qui-Zi? the mothers and children you ripped apart? did they not beg you? tell me...tell me how you could look at people-at anyone- hear those cries and not break? tell me how you could do it again. you’re not eighteen anymore, dara. you’ve got centuries on me, and do you know what I did when Manizheh asked me to join her? to view the massacre of innocents as an acceptable price for victory? I turned her down.” (619).

At the same age that dara was when he massacred an entire city because he was ordered to do so, Ali went against his father’s direct orders to help the shafit. The very first time we are introduced to him, he is giving them money to help them get their stolen children back and throughout the entire series ali has continued to do whatever he can to help the shafit and every tribe become equal not caring what happens to himself as a result. He literally planned and enacted a rebellion to overthrow his father because he was not being a good ruler but dara couldn’t stand up to some woman he’s only known for five years simply because of the family she is from.

Again, dara is a complex character and i dont think he is truly bad but he certainly isn’t the uwu baby the fandom (and the book to some extent) seems to have made him out to be. he made his choices again and again and they were the wrong choices. plain and simple. there is no way to excuse going along with genocide and oppression. in the end, it was too little too late.

TL;DR dara literally committed acts of genocide on more than one occasion and even though he had doubts, he didn’t try to stop it until his own people and his freedom were threatened but he’s hot so it’s ok i guess

[irandrura]

Terra Ignota

Over the last few weeks, I read Terra Ignota. I read all of the three published books so far: Too Like the Lightning, Seven Surrenders, and The Will to Battle.

Every review of Terra Ignota I have ever read is wrong. Or rather, every review of Terra Ignota I have ever read takes an extremely different perspective to my own, to the extent that I genuinely don’t understand how the author could have concluded that.

So as not to keep anyone in suspense, my perspective on Terra Ignota is that they are surprisingly trashy books, in a world that doesn’t make very much sense, but that doesn’t matter because the heart and soul of these texts is over-the-top soap opera drama. I think they are probably bad, and they outright offended me at several points, but nonetheless they drew me in enough that I wanted to keep reading. There is merit in that.

 If you’re the sort of person who cares about spoilers, this is your only warning.

As I said, I don’t understand most of the reviews I have read of these books. I simply don’t.

 I don’t understand the view that the writing itself is poetic and beautiful. Palmer has some good phrases from time to time, but overall I don’t find the prose particularly amazing. This is a very subjective point, so I won’t belabour it.

 I don’t understand the view that the books are a masterful triumph of worldbuilding. From my perspective, the worldbuilding is actually kind of half-assed, and more importantly, Palmer does not seem to actually care about worldbuilding that much. It isn’t her priority. Reading the books I found myself constantly asking “How does X actually work?” or “Y sounds totally insane, could you explain how it makes sense to me?” or “Z seems like it clashes with X, please resolve this contradiction for me?”, and Palmer never answers those questions for you. If I want some more explanation for why, say, a global transportation system serving billions of people is run without oversight, from a single private residence, looked after by a man well-known to be suicidally depressed… nope, I’m not getting that. If I want some context for how hive-switching works, or how it interacts with crime, not happening. Even minor questions: in The Will to Battle, our heroes talk to a band of criminals involved in human trafficking, and I immediately wanted to know what human trafficking means in a world where borders have been abolished, geographic nations have been abolished, and every place on Earth is just a short taxi ride from every other place. This is the sort of question Palmer does not answer or even acknowledge.

 And I don’t actually buy that she’s interested in the questions that I see raised when the books are spruiked to me. Are you intrigued by the question of what the world would look like if every individual could choose their own government, their own law code, unconstrained by geography? I’m intrigued by that. It sounds interesting. But this is not a question that Terra Ignota is actually interested in. It seems like it should be interested in it, and I read enough breathless expositions of how cool the hive system is that I expected Terra Ignota to be interested in it… but it’s not. If you’re interested in, say, the question of whether a permanent exit option would make absolute dictatorship more humane, as in the Masons, then I agree that’s interesting – but it is not a question that the text of Terra Ignota takes any interest in. The big worldbuilding questions raised by the hives are all window dressing.

 I don’t understand the idea that Terra Ignota is a brilliant depiction of utopia. I want to acknowledge straight off the bat that I may have a bias here, because Terra Ignota’s world is premised on the, well, genocide of people like me, or at least the forcible suppression and exile of people like me, but I don’t think it’s only the fact that I’m openly in defiance of the First Black Law. Rather, I note two things here. Firstly, it’s hard to see whether Terra Ignota’s society is actually utopian because we spend so little time in it. We do not see how ordinary people live in this world, or what makes it wonderful. What Terra Ignota spends most of its time on is the scheming and backstabbing of the dozen most powerful people in the world, and everyone outside that little circle barely exists in the text. (Abigail Nussbaum noted in her review that Terra Ignota’s world never really feels like it has more than a few hundred people in it, and I agree.) It’s hard to convincingly argue Terra Ignota is a utopia or a dystopia, because we never meet the whole population. We meet a small handful of amoral nobility as they play out a space opera Game of Thrones. That’s certainly entertaining, and I give Palmer credit for making it fun to read, but it’s not really an investigation of utopia. Secondly, where we do see glimpses of the world outside the parlours of the ruthless rich, it…honestly seems rather conventional, and rather like the 21st century. People work fewer hours a week, taxis are much more efficient, movies have smelltracks as well as soundtracks, they go to the Olympics, apparently the Oscars endured the collapse of all nations and religions… but there is little in this world that seems radically different to our own. It’s all minor, incremental bits of technological progress. They’ve eliminated poverty, which is good, but I usually expect something more radical from utopia than that. What do people actually do in Terra Ignota that’s different to what any upper-middle class American might do today? Other, of course, than not go to church, call everyone singular they, and wear tracking devices.

 I don’t understand the idea that these books deal with deep philosophical or theological themes. Like the hives themselves, it’s all window dressing. The narrator Mycroft is obsessed with the 18th century, and so is a bizarre anachronistic brothel that somehow every major world leader attends (cf. worldbuilding being weak, the world only feeling like it has a few hundred people in it), but they don’t do very much with this. Mycroft imagines Thomas Hobbes occasionally butting in, but his imaginary Hobbes has little to say beyond "Hi, I’m the guy who wrote Leviathan!” The characters reference Diderot and de Sade and Voltaire, but usually only on the surface level, and when they do try to go deeper, they often get the references wrong. The same for the theology. My point is not that Terra Ignota is bad: just that it isn’t really that interested in the political philosophy or the theology. It uses 18th century thought as an aesthetic. Deism, miracles, proof of God’s existence, how gods might communicate, etc., are not the questions that occupy the text. Ada Palmer is not a theologian.

 But all that said, I enjoyed Terra Ignota.

 I want to emphasise that. I enjoyed Terra Ignota! I am not saying that it’s bad! I’m just saying that it was not what everyone told me it would be.

 Terra Ignota is a book about a bunch of very powerful, very horrible people, who all apparently go to the same brothel and are interested in the same wacky theories about human nature and God and so on, lying to and betraying each other. I think Palmer is really interested in the characters. Mycroft, our pretentious narrator who by the end of book three is genuinely losing his grip on reality and writing hallucinations. Jedd Mason, the madman who believes he’s God, but is probably just the delusional product of a radical set-set experiment. Caesar, the iron-proud absolute dictator seeking to do his duty by his ambitious, power-obsessed hive. Dominic, the sadistic sexual predator who nonetheless worships Jedd with fanatical devotion. Carlyle, the kind and compassionate philosopher-in-residence who inevitably gets tortured and abused. Ojiro Sniper, the freaky sex doll who nonetheless seeks to become the Brutus to Jedd’s Caesar. Apollo Mojave, the dead-but-still-influential space wizard who sought to cause a world war for stupid reasons. And so on. The characters are generally well-drawn and interesting enough that I want to see what happens to them.

 I should emphasise Palmer’s achievement in making me want to know what happens to these people, especially because they’re all so unsympathetic. Carlyle and Bridger stand out as the most truly sympathetic characters in the novels, but by book three, the former has been captured, tortured, and now limps along, dead-eyed and broken-spirited, in the train of one of the resident sadists, and the latter has quite reasonably gone “Screw this” and used his immense psychic powers to delete himself from the book. But most of the core characters in this drama – Mycroft, Saladin, Jedd, Sniper, Ganymede and Danae, Madame d’Arouet, etc. – are mad, evil, both, or otherwise extremely unsympathetic. It is to Palmer’s credit that I want to know what happens in the war anyway. The most sympathetic of the political leaders in the text, Vivien Ancelet and Bryar Kosala, spend most of their time fruitlessly begging for peace. While they, perhaps alone of the leaders, have genuinely laudable intentions, it has been clear from the first book that neither will be permitted to achieve anything notable. The only people to barrack for, in Terra Ignota, are those noble if compromised few who seek to avoid a war – and who we all know will fail.

 Book four, it seems, will finally be about the war that the first three books have been setting up, and even though I frankly want all three sides to lose – the Jedd faction, the Sniper faction, and Utopia are all deeply unpleasant, albeit in different ways – I am sure I will find it extremely entertaining to see how this all collapses.

 Do I recommend Terra Ignota? I don’t know. If you want detailed, thorough worldbuilding, sincere contemplation of deep philosophical questions about theodicy, politics, and human nature, or a stirring vision of a possible utopia… no. Do not read it for those things. It does not have those things in it.

 But it does have a scene where the prime minister of Europe body-tackles the Olympic president through a plate glass window and they land in a pile of people having sex mid-orgy, while the media broadcasts it worldwide.

 And that’s excellent.

[bobasheebaby]

107 The Good Place Prompts

Eleanor Shellstrop

1 “I just don't think the group thing is for me. I'm better when it's one-one-one and we're both looking at our phones and I don't know the other person and we don't talk.”

2 “The closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer I had them throw in the microwave.”

3 “Whenever anyone tells me a story about their life I always imagine all the people as being super hot. Otherwise, I quickly lose interest. Do you not do that? You can do it for free.”

4 “I'm SO ready to learn, it's like my brain is HORNY!”

5 “What can you possibly say to us that will make up for your actions?” “Pobody's nerfect?”

6 “You don't seem like a ... super genius.”

7 “Ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.”

8 “Oh, so now I'm supposed to be nice and make friends and treat him:her with mutual respect?” “Yeah!” “That's exactly what he/she wants me to do, NAME, wake up!” “That's what everyone wants everyone to do.”

9 “Your friend sounds like he’s/she's one pickle short of a pickle party.”

10 “I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.” “Oh, come on. Everyone knows that's worse.”

11 “I know it sounds crazy, but if it weren’t crazy they wouldn’t call it a ‘leap of faith.’ They would call it a ‘sit … of ... doubting.’”

12 “Buzz off, Bambadjan.”

13 “Where is everyone?” “Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.”

14 “First of all, throwing sand is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire.” “Why would you even know that?!”

15 “No, NAME, I used to do that. Now I do selfless things without even thinking about it.”

16 “Why don't I ever listen to people when they talk about themselves? No, it's annoying, and I'm right not to.”

17 “Are you going to talk? Or just walk around like a nerd trying to get a personal best on his Fitbit?”

18 “I guess ‘try and enjoy this’ is a better plan than ‘have the anxiety sweats.’’

19 “I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two men my entire life, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.”

20 “Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.”

21 “You know I’m trying to say ash-hole instead of ash-hole, right?”

22 “It’s suddenly very important that I get drunk.”

23 “Well fork you, too.”

24 “Holy mother-forking shirtballs.”

25 “‘You’re not better than me’ was my yearbook quote.”

Tahani Al-Jamal

26 “You guys came to say goodbye because you're my friends.” “Well, I suppose some part of me possibly has a sense of casual kinship with you, much as one might be fond of a street cat.”

27 “I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.”

28 “NAME, you seem thoughtful. And that concerns me.”

29 “I, NAME, shall do my level best to make every event too much.”

30 “I just want to sit and stare at nothing, and silently scream for the rest of time.”

31 “I made a complete fool of myself tonight. I interrupted your big speech and badly stained my cargo pants, which, I have to admit, are quite comfortable. Oh, God, what’s happened to me? I’m praising off-the-rack separates!”

32 “Who else feels that NAME has ruined every moment of your existence since you arrived?”

33 “Right now I'm just a boy/girl, towering over a boy/girl, asking him/her to admit he/she loves me.”

34 “My whole life, whenever I encountered any obstacles, I would simply say, ‘I would like to speak to a manager.’ But in our relationship, there was no manager. There was no one who could fix this for me except me.”

Chidi Anagonye

35 “I’m just not a ‘new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.”

36 “Here’s an idea. What if we don’t worry about whatever comes next?”

37 “Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.”

38 “If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!”

39 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision-making.”

40 “I’m going to ... start crying.”

41 “I am pretty good at turning every place I go into my personal hell.”

42 “You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That’s the sound that my brain makes all the time.”

43 “Well, I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities: yes and no.”

44 “There's an old Chinese proverb... ‘Lies are like tigers. They are bad.’””That's it?” “I guess it's more poetic in Mandarin.”

45 “I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone."

46 “I am breaking up with you.” “Why?” “I can't ... It's complicated, but it's happening. Ya dumped!”

47 “I do have a stomachache. Why do I always have a stomachache?”

48 “You put the Peeps in the chili pot and eat them both up! You put the Peeps in the chili pot and add the M&Ms. You put the Peeps in the chili pot and it makes it taste bad.”

49 “Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.” “I got a solid eight minutes. Not consecutively, but still. It's fine. You're not even that blurry.”

50 “We can be colleagues. Associates is pushing it. And by even having this conversation, you're becoming my confidante. I can't have that.”

51 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision making and it is destroying my life.” “Yeah, I sort of got that when you couldn't choose a chair to sit on.” “Well, I didn't want to offend you in case you had a favorite.”

52 “This whole romantic situation is such a mess. I am vexed, NAME. Vexed.”

53 “I need to step outside ... for some air ... and I will not be back for many days.”

54 “I'm sorry, everyone, I just have some worries as well as some concerns that could potentially turn into outright fears. Ah, there they go, they're fears now.”

55 “When I'm really upset, concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. It's like a menu, but the food is words.”

56 “I have never been that certain about anything. I once even tried to rent socks. How did I say that that easily?”

57 “You broke the world. It's not a compliment!”

58 “This is fun. It's a fun party. There's no question about it, this is a fun ... situation. Hey! You guys are here! The fun continues, nay, increases!”

Michael

59 “If soulmates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made.”

60 “I’ll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe. Take it sleazy.”

61 “We have no plan. No one’s coming to save us. So ... I’m going to do it.”

62 “It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong.”

63 “Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.”

64 “Kissing is gross. You just mash your food holes together. It’s not for that.”

65 “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison.”

66 “Serious question: should we kill them?”

67 “Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One.”

68 (Holding a plush Minion) “I won this ugly yellow toddler, which is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

69 “Hello, everyone. Good to see you all here, mingling around with your various secrets. Who really knows which of you are who you say you are? No way to know unless I pull your skeletons out, right?"

70 “In the words of one of my actual friends: 'Ya basic'. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now."

71 “Where's the H? This keyboard doesn't have an H.”

72 “Dick Tracy called back on his watch phone and said you better "watch" out!”

73 “I got to ride a bike. I put a coin in a thing and got a gumball. And then someone came up to me and said, ‘hot enough for ya?’, and you know what I said? I said, ‘tell me about it!’” “Well I am glad that you got to chew a gumball.” “Oh, damn. I didn't even think to chew it. Missed opportunity, shoot.”

74 “I saw this place that was at once a Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell! I mean, oh! The mind reels! A Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell!”

75 “And what's the significance of the keychain?” “Nothing, I just like frogs. I'm a frog guy.”

76 “I won't let you down.” “I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail.”

77 “You know the way you feel when you see a chimpanzee and a baby tiger who have become friends? That's how you're going to feel every day.”

78 “You humans have so many emotions. You only need two: anger and confusion!”

79 “It makes sense, right? They're good so they're stupid and trusting.”

Jason Mendoza

80 “I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!”

81 “I can’t believe NAME betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?”

82 “I wasn’t a failed DJ. I was pre-successful.”

83 “Claustrophobic? Who would ever be afraid of Santa Clause?”

84 “If you’re a devil, how come you’re not wearing Prada?”

85 “I’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kids’ menu. What a stupid age I am.”

86 “Well, my year started about a year ago …”

87 “Dude! We can get mythical animals? Maybe I’ll get a penguin.” “Penguins are real.” “That’s the spirit, NAME. They’re real to me too.”

88 “When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening."

89 “You know, it doesn't matter if you know things. All that matters is what's in your heart."

90 “I'm ranking my favourite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me."

91 “He’s/She's my everything. He/She makes the bass drop in my heart.”

92 “Long story short, it was all a dream.”

Janet

93 “I think I might hate things now, too. So far, it’s genocide and leggings as pants.”

94 “NAME told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘go get it, girl.’ So I’m going to go get it, girl.” “Get what?” “Unclear. I’ll get everything, just to be safe.”

95 “In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself."

96 “Ooh, I've never had to walk before, this is fun! [Walks a few steps] Now I'm bored. Walking is dumb.”

97 “Oh, really? Is it an error to act unpredictably and behave in ways that run counter to how you were programmed to behave?”

Minor Miscellaneous Characters

98 “There is some good news. There’s some cake left!” – Neil from Accounting

99 “Well, I'm sure you're busy, you probably wouldn't want to talk to me. I get it, I wouldn't either. I'm as dull as a rock. Ugh, even that analogy was boring. I'm sorry, I'm so dull, and I'm ugly. I'm like a rock. Ugh, stupid Larry! Stop talking about rocks!” — Larry Hemsworth

100 “Oh, and you should smile more. You'll get bigger tips.” — Trevor

101 “Later days, dingus.” — Trevor

102 “Hold that thought. Is it OK if I go work out? I love working out. I gotta stay jacked. It's who I am.” — Chris Baker

103 “This is exhausting. I just want to go back to my container of goo and go to sleep.” — Shawn

104 “So, what's up, what's your deal? Are you single? What's going on?” — Trevor

105 “What up, ding dongs?” — Bad Janet

106 “Hello, imbeciles.” — Shawn

107 “So, we'll just roll on out, and you can get back to putting rainbows up your butt or whatever you do here.” — Trevor

[johannstutt413]

(requested by anonymous)

“Alright, that’s all for today.” The Doctor stretched in his chair. “Made pretty good time, too.”

“Mmhmm.” Schwarz acknowledged his comment.

He stood up, throwing on his jacket. “You wanna grab a drink? I’ll buy.”

“You’re still trying?” She shook her head. “I won’t say no to a drink.”

“Before you fully agree, though, one condition: you tell me how you got to where you are today. I’ve heard something about you taking out an entire clan, and I want to know how much of what the rumor mill fed me is true.”

Schwarz thought for a moment. “You’ll buy the whole night?”

“The whole night,” he agreed. “Get whatever strikes your fancy, I’ll foot the bill.”

“Alright. You, me, two bottles of good whiskey, and I’ll tell you my story.”

The Doctor nodded. “Sounds like a fair trade to me. To the bar.”

-

“So, yeah...that’s my story.” They were at a table in the bar, several bottles of whiskey in front of them (one half-empty, the others fully drained). “Like I said, it’ll keep you up at night - took awhile for me to get over it, I know.”

“That is a nasty one...I wonder if the old me would’ve batted an eye, though. From what I’ve heard, I’ve been a part of similar events, both the winning and losing sides. Did you get the clean break you’d wanted?”

Schwarz thought for a moment. “Mostly. I don’t have any guilt about what I did, but...I still carry that training, those scars, the pit in my heart covered over with others’ blood and Ceylon. That poor girl - she still thinks I can be saved. Imagine that.”

“She’s not the only one,” the Doctor smirked. “This might be a bit rich coming from me, but I bet there’s still hope for you.”

“You really mean that, Doctor?”

He nodded. “I do. There’s your connection with Ceylon, which you might laugh at me considering, but...honestly, if you were truly heartless, you couldn’t even have forged that bond, and for it to have become this strong over the years since? You still have a sense of right and wrong - a rather precise one, even. Look at Lappland, look at Spectre, look at Skadi; the truly far-gone don’t have an understanding like that. And then, there’s...eh, maybe that’s too far a stretch, even if it matters to me.”

“While we’re in a spilling mood, Doctor,” Schwarz replied, “I’d prefer you do your fair share.”

“Alright, then. Well, Schwarz, the fact that you were willing to come and talk to me like this. I know you go out to drinks with the other mercenaries and whatnot every now and again, but the fact that you were willing to go into this with me, it...it made me happy.”

She shrugged. “I make Ceylon happy as well. Usually by accident.”

“Fair, but...” He was drunk enough he knew he had to be more careful about his choice of words, but also drunk enough for that definition to slip. “Is she attracted to you? Like, romantically?”

“I...I’ve never asked.”

The Doctor smirked. “That’s one big difference, then. I certainly am.”

“Hmm.” Schwarz poured another glass for herself. “Another glass, Doctor?”

“Sure.” He went to grab the bottle, but she still had her hand on it, and they ended up touching as she poured into his glass.

The Doctor pulled his hand back even as she was unfazed. Schwarz set the bottle down and gave him a look. “What is it about me you find attractive?”

“Oh boy, where do I start...” He drained his glass faster than it’d been poured. “Well, let’s be frank - you’re beautiful. I’m sure you’re more than aware of that.”

“...” Dead silence.

The Doctor responded with a disbelieving look. “Surely, someone has told you that by now. Ceylon, the Mayor, some trashy mercenary - I’m not the first person to tell you that your combat outfit leaves very little to the imagination but still leaves me fantasizing, or that your hair shines like silver and your eyes like gold, or that-”

“Doctor.” Schwarz waved her hand to tell him to stop, brightly blushing. “Please.”

“You wanted to know,” he shrugged, grabbing the bottle for himself and pouring another glass.

She sighed. “I didn’t expect you to have so much to say...”

“Have you really not been told?” The Doctor shook his head. “That’s a real shame. Besides, I didn’t even get to the harder stuff.”

“The harder stuff?”

He smirked, leaning forward. “Your faraway expressions as you fight your demons, the ones that remind me of my own at times despite the attached memories being long lost; your glare, that go-to-hell expression that doesn’t really mean malice so much as a warning to keep your distance, because everyone around you gets hurt and everything around you burns; your naturally stoic face that demands someone spend substantial time by your side to read your true emotions, something I wish I was better at...Sorry, I got lost in your eyes again.”

“Again...” Schwarz truly couldn’t believe him. “Is that why you lose your train of thought when talking to me?”

“They strike me to my core, as if they’re baring my entire soul to you...even though they clearly aren’t if you didn’t know all of this already.”

She crossed her arms and set them on the table, resting her chin on them to stare at the now-empty bottle with her ‘stoic face.’ “We’re out of alcohol.”

“I can get us more,” he shrugged. “Unless that was simply an observation?”

“...We’ve probably had enough by now.”

The Doctor nodded. “Much more and I won’t be able to work tomorrow. Can I tell you something else?”

“While we’re on the subject.”

“I’m really trying to not bring up every little thing, I promise,” he blushed. “It’s just...there’s so much about you to love.”

That seemed to be the final straw. “So much to love? Doctor, I am a shell of a person after the life I’ve led; I am a monster, bound to the shadows of the battlefield where I can mete out a life as a professional killer, a bodyguard and contract assassin who found her way to RI because of the person who freed me from my worst servitude in exchange for a lighter-than-deserved sentence. What is there to love about a person-shaped dark patch, hmm?”

“...Do you really think you’re the only monster here?”

“They’re children,” she retorted. “Children, misguided idealists, people with hope and life in their eyes-”

The Doctor’s voice picked up volume. “-Veterans.”

“...Excuse me?”

“Veterans,” he repeated. “Child soldiers, experiments in Originum compatibility gone wrong, revolutionaries, outcasts, vagabonds, warriors who should have been able to put down their swords long before now. There are Operators who have been abused, brainwashed, cut apart and sown back together, betrayed, bought and sold, cast out from their homes, stabbed, backstabbed - and that doesn’t just go for the Infected, like you and me.”

Schwarz had long since fallen silent. “Like you or me?”

“That’s right; at some point, I joined the Infected myself. If all the stories are to be believed, I’ve been a scholar, a tactician, but first and foremost a warlord cruel and unrelenting. I’ve led criminal enterprises, genocides, mass exterminations, and utterly despicable acts of sabotage and treachery in the name of some master I’ve long since forgotten my attachment to. It took losing my memory to start over, but you know what else it did? It left me a shell of a person as well, always minding my manners to not offend someone whose back has had my dagger in it once or a thousand times before, always looking for new tidbits about my past self so I can avoid being the disaster of a man I used to be, always wondering if the Operator I’m hiring on has suffered either at my hand or because of something I did in my past life. Reincarnation like this doesn’t mean my past is forgotten...it simply means I’ve forgotten it. Many of us, including yourself, don’t get that luxury...or that curse.”

“I’d...” She stared at him. “I’d never thought of it that way before.”

The Doctor sighed, standing up and donning his jacket. “I’ll walk you back to Ceylon’s.”

“I can’t let you do that; what if something happens to you on the way back?”

“I’ll say the same right back to you,” he retorted. “You know how I feel; imagine how terrible I will if you get hurt because I got you this deep into the bottles.”

Schwarz sighed. “I guess we’re spending the night together, then.”

“I guess we- what.”

“I can’t let you out of my sight,” she continued, “and you don’t want me out of yours for several reasons, so we’ll just have to spend the night together. I’m assuming your place, because Ceylon might learn something about you it’d be best for her not to figure out.”

The Doctor simply could not process this information properly. “Right, right...my room, then.”

“Let’s be on our way, then. Here - we should help each other stay on our feet.” Schwarz put an arm around his shoulder and pulled his arm around hers, and then they were off. It took some time, thanks to the staggering they were doing, but they made it to his room in one piece.

“Not that I’m ungrateful,” he managed, “but um...what’s happening tonight?”

She blinked, slowly. “You and me, sharing a room.”

“Right.” The Doctor shrugged it off, opening the door.

“Nice place.” Schwarz strolled in, a little shaky but still mostly in control. She collapsed onto his bed. “So.”

Still in the doorway, he steadied himself on the frame. “If you want the bed-”

“I want you in the bed with me.”

“Oh.” The Doctor stumbled forward, turning a fall into a tumble and standing afterwards. “Alright, then.” He shed his shoes and coat (which she had done while watching his display) and joined her.

For a few moments, nothing happened; eventually, she put a hand on his chest and gave him a probing stare. “Well?”

“...I dunno what I’m doing. One thing to dream about it, another-”

“I thought I was hopeless.” Schwarz’s statement wasn’t really a response to him. “I love Ceylon like a sister. Tonight, I want to know if I can love you like a woman.”

He collected himself - which took a moment. “Well, let’s give this a shot, then...”

He told himself he’d stop at a kiss; he was drunk, she was drunk, no guarantee if they’d remember any of what happened tonight afterwards. He told himself that would be enough, regardless of how much he wanted more. Take it slow, take it slow, take it-

Their lips met, and suddenly, the world was moving a thousand miles a minute.

[helbramstrauma-main]

Thorn

Masterlist

Albert DaSilva X Reader

A Modern AU: A seemingly perfect life with one thread loose. What happens when you pull it?

Word count: 2089

My world isn't too bad, I follow the rules and good things come from it. That being said, I don't live in the most interesting world. I go to school, get good grades, have a close group of friends. Although I live a boring life, it doesn't mean I don't have hobbies, every day after school I go to the band room. Every day for two hours I play the flute, afterward, I go home for dinner. Soon after that though, I give flute lessons. Don't get me wrong I love playing the flute, but it has become my whole identity. Sometimes I just want to rebel against my family. It isn't that they treat me wrong, but being around them is like being wrapped in bubble wrap. 

Of course millions of people wish they were in my place, not having any real trouble. Of course, I do have a thorn in my side, but it isn't genocide or even abusive. My life is easy, excluding Albert DaSilva, he just seems to wreak my life. However, he seems to be the only exciting thing about it.

History in the basement seems to be the hardest part of my day.  The temperature is unpredictable, but today it seems to be a sauna. Unfortunately, my top is strapless so I have to keep my flannel on. Not to mention that the permanent thorn in my side just happens to be behind me. If Albert wasn't the only interesting part of my life I would never entertain his notes. Alas, he is though, so I always give in. Each of his notes says some silly pick up line, he is shameless. Almost as shameless for when he says, "you know after 15 minutes we can leave if he doesn't show up". That's another painful thing about this class, the teacher is always late, without a doubt. I am brought back into reality when I hear the boom of Mr. Richardson's voice. That's another thing, he talks way too loud.

"Partner time" an audible sigh leaves every person's mouth. Another thing about History is how he chooses groups. Like in elementary school everyone has their name on a popsicle stick and we choose our fates. The sticks are never nice, I usually get stuck with someone who lets me do all the work. Doing work for two people in half the time. It is almost like the list for everything bad in History is never-ending, Richardson's deadlines are never proportionate. Since today is Friday it will probably be due on Monday "since we have the whole weekend to work on it". Goodbye weekend plans. The project guidelines are being passed out and before I even look at it, I can tell it is one of his rambling masterpieces. Every assignment, without a doubt, he writes four paragraphs to say a simple thing, but he always contradicts himself making his class impossible. It is my only B, straight A's then this blemish.

My inner monologue is cut short by the familiar sound of popsicle sticks hitting a plastic cup. Another simultaneous groan fills the room as people start picking names. That is one plus side to this, you get to look at people as their eyes light up or their soul leaves their body after reading their partner's name. He stands in front of me mixing up the sticks, only one thought crosses my head. Not DaSilva, not DaSilva, not DaSilva. I squeeze my eyes shut in anticipation and I let out a breath I've been holding in. Upon opening my eyes I can feel my soul leave my body, Albert DaSilva.

"Don't just stare at it, it isn't going to change?" Richardson says wanting me to announce my partner to the class.

I swallow the saliva that has accumulated in my mouth before saying, "DaSilva". An audible sigh of relief washes over the class. Albert is known for getting on Mr. Richardson's nerves in class and his grade reflects it, and just because it is a group project does not change Mr. Richardson's harsh grades for him. However I don't know why I am not upset, normally the thought of working with Albert is enough to nauseate me, but in practice, it seems to excite me. Why?

After an extensive explanation of the project that somehow doesn't define the project at all, Richardson ends his lecture early to let us make plans with our partners. I spin around in my chair to face the thorn in my side, to see him looking all too pleased. "What are you doing after school, cupcake," He says with a mischievous grin. Why can no one smile normally? Also cupcake? I am not a cupcake! Just ignore him and get this over with.

"To be honest I am surprised you are even planning on doing this project," I say, fully expecting to do all of the work.

He leans farther back on his chair still making eye contact with me, "if you are going to fail the project because of me, it would be impolite not to help" his hand goes over his chest to show mock sincerity. However, as his hand leaves the table he falls backward from his chair. The noise is loud enough to make me jump and I watched it happen. Mr. Richardson yells at him for falling out of his chair. Great, that is another five points off our project.

"I think we can work on the project separately, and just do half the work. I can do the chart, reading, and essay. You can do the PowerPoint and the poster" I say, desperate to not hang out with him.

"But what are you doing after school" Albert persists.

"Band practice, and then I am going home," I say hoping that he just lets it go.

This time leaning on his desk, he sets his head in his hands and looks at me. I can see every detail on his face, I can see faint lines connecting his freckles together. It looks like he tried to wash them off but the faint lines are still there. My eyes wander around his face until they land on his hazel eyes. He isn't saying anything but his eyes are begging. I am not giving in, my parents would never let me go to a guy's house that they never met before. That being said I don't have to tell them, but they will worry about me. I continue to argue with myself, but then I look into Albert's eyes again. I am making a mistake, I am making a mistake, my attempts to reason with myself are useless.

"But practice ends at five, you can pick me up by the pool doors" I commit. No going back now. My mom will be waiting for me on the other side of the school, I cannot let her see me get into his car.

DaSilva's eyes light up even more at me giving in, and he is now grinning ear to ear.

The rest of the school day goes by quickly, but all I can think of is, how I am lying to my parents. I am finally going to be free, I am going to live a little. Of course, my idea of living a little is lying to my parents to do homework, but it is living a little not living a lot. After we are dismissed from band, I practically grab my belongings and sprint to the other wing of the school. Usually, I would stay back to help the teacher clean up, but I cannot risk seeing my mom. Once I make it to the pool doors I see Albert leaning against his car. He spots me and smiles, motioning for me to join him outside. The air conditioner is blasting cold air, instinctively making me wrap my flannel around myself tighter. My phone rings and I see that it is my mom calling. Just let it ring, don't answer it.

"Why aren't you answering your phone?" Albert asks looking down at it.

"I don't recognize the number" I lie.

He just kind of gives me a look before saying, "it says mom at the top, and it has a photo of you two together on the screen". Right, instead of answering Albert or the phone, I simply decline the call and turn off my phone. This earns another strange look from Albert. "You could have just said you guys don't get along".

"No, I'm trying to rebel, live a little. I'm never allowed to go anywhere and I'm 17, I deserve some freedom" I say, being way too honest to the thorn in my side. I may call him a thorn but it dawns on me that all he does is mildly annoy me, but calling him a thorn sounds cool.

"You do know your great rebellion is doing homework, right" Albert is now chuckling, "kind of pathetic".

"What if I did this," I say quickly taking off my flannel slightly to reveal a shoulder. Never in a million years did I expect to be laughing with Albert DaSilva in his car rebelling, but here I am. The rest of the car ride, however, was silent and not the good kind either. We resort to listening to the radio instead. With my phone turned off I don't have anything to do, so I go back to studying Albert.

His ginger hair peaks out of his backward baseball cap and his hands are calloused. His lips are chapped and he has licked them 7 times before we reach his house. Pulling into his garage Albert turns off the music. Shuffling around to collect his things from the back. I simply grab my purse and binders and climb out of the vehicle. Shortly after he leads me into his basement. It isn't finished but behind the stairs, there are a couple of bean bag chairs and coffee table.

"My brothers shouldn't bother us down here," he says sitting in one of the two bean bags. I mimic his action and take out my laptop and History project. The thought of it makes me yawn, but then again I hear Albert's stomach grumble. "Why don't we order some pizza?" Albert phrases as a question but immediately start dialing a number, let me know that we are ordering pizza. "It will be here in thirty minutes"

The time before the pizza arrives, I am able to get through about half of the question of the reading, and Albert is still researching for the PowerPoint. However, after the pizza arrives all productivity comes to a halt. Ignoring the boring assignment, we focus on each other. I can feel Albert's eyes studying me while we talk. To be honest, I would usually be offended, but I am loving the attention. Even though Albert is possibly the most interesting person I know my body is just telling me to sleep.

"Before we get back to work, how about a siesta," I say looking at the boy I used to refer to as a thorn but now is tolerable. Albert is attractive, I have known this for a while, but it is easy to ignore when he is bothering you, but now I see the personality that matches the outside. This shouldn't be allowed, no one should be able to be this level of attractive and have this personality, it is unfair to every other person on earth.

"I don't see the harm in a nap," Albert says kicking his feet onto the bean bag I was sitting on. I take this as a cue to rest my torso on his bean bag. At some point, I rest my head on his chest, and I must admit he makes a good pillow too. I can hear his heartbeat against my head and it soothes me. I can feel myself dozing off when I feel Albert's fingers running through my hair. There is no other way to describe this situation other than, it just feels right.

"You know you're cute, cupcake," Albert says, half asleep.

"You're are not so bad yourself DaSilva," I say equally as exhausted. We fall into another silence but this time, it is the good kind. We fall asleep just like that, with my head on his chest studying his heart's rhythm and his hand tangled in my hair. Needless to say, neither of us set alarms, so neither of us woke up until mourning.

[incarnateirony]

Why do you think so many people in fandoms of tv shows, movies, games and pretty much anything have such a strong resistance to a character being revealed to be LGBT? I've seen it so many times, and I know you've seen it a lot as well, and it's just so weird to me how offended people are by this. A recent example is in the fandom of a videogame I'm in, were many are just outraged by the notion some believe that a main character, a white, male soldier that exists since 1997 could, maybe, be LGBT.

The fight over this crap is kind of intersectional. Everything from homophobes to our own. This is heavily tied to (America, since this is intersectional with an american show, but also global) opinions shifting on things like oh, gay marriage. (x) Such as modernly 15%~ of citizens are homophobes and think The Gay Sexinating should be illegal. Which sounds shitty as all kinds of fuck until you scale that against 43% in 77′, and 77 was actually *before* the AIDs epidemic really became central or anything so you can imagine what those numbers realistically became then.

We’ve made progress, and there’s still progress to be made, but it was literally less than half a century ago – two generations ago – here, in many of our lifetimes, or at least in the lifetimes of people the younger reading audience here *knows* – that this landscape wasn’t even *recognizable*

So socially speaking this works in waves of conversation– be that the gays being cursed by god yadda yadda and thus deserve to die of AIDS and be treated like lepers – down to “Why do they even need included in anything” following shortly after, with a mindset of “perversion” still heavily steeped in the population that would plague children of the 80s and 90s heavily. You wanna deal with some internalization, there’s some internalization.

Keeping a thumb on the fact that the needle *has* shifted is a great deal of it, I think – obviously not “OK! WE’RE DONE NOW!” but being aware there’s not a 50%~ chance someone you walk by thinks you should be arrested or killed anymore, that more than 1 in 8 douchebags are going to be whole thundergeese about it, and that it is what it is, and it sucks, and we’re waiting to get further-again. Also there’s whole other issues WRT MLM vs WLW and what earns what kind of resistance but that’s a WHOLE other rant.

The thing is, when people grow into an environment of being *disadvantaged*, if they don’t as much take time to celebrate our *progress* as much as rant about everything that *isn’t going perfectly right*, we lose our scale. It maintains this feeling of being the completely 100% hated unseen minority that the whole world still hates, when we can’t look back and go, you know what, in 2019, 83% of people don’t think it should be illegal, 2% have no opinion. That’s just a very congealed residual screaming mass of assbags and subconsciously we all know it, but continuing to gear the conversation as if we’re fighting from the pits of the 60s or 70s is??? really weird???

But at the same time understandable?

So on the one hand you get The Gays arguing from being an angle of being incredibly more disadvantaged than they are. And then, you get people from this shifting demographic – be it the 15% remaining douchebags congealed into a screaming lot, or the 40% slide that have come to realize we’re just minding our own business and loving who we want between 77 and now – that, still lost *in* that dark history and frankly propaganda hold onto *resistances*. So if we’re talking about a character that, say, probably straight white guys have attached to since the 90s, if they attached to that character in the 90s, odds are, they were fairly developed and at least 15 years old if not more already. And odds are, they were subject to everything from the impact of the epidemic to just older nonsense clouding their vision, and whether we like it or not, these people *will* have likely resistance.

Because we may not like that chapter of history, and we give no excuse for homophobia, but in perspective when an entire country’s homosexual population was ravaged by something ignored by government and hospitals, and dismissively packaged as a curse by evangelical america in a country about 75% christian, just how *much* that *completely* fucks up people’s internal understanding. It’s the same dehumanization that was used against anyone else genocided, in other major historical moments we all know about. It doesn’t make the passivity right, but welcome to how literal propaganda can fuck up entire populations.

So to roll back to the Nonnie: These fights in general seem to strike me as a mix of intersectional… lack of understanding. Young Gays that don’t really get what the world was like 40~ years ago or even 20~ are absolutely baffled why anyone would get so reactive to an idea. Old Gays do want better representation, but some have had a hell of a time *from* internalizing those ideas.  The Straights of the time have a WHOLE other mess of shit to sort out in their heads before coming around to being open and understanding. Everybody’s talking across each other, instead of talking with each other, and some have unfortunately entirely convinced themselves they are still as hated as they were back then, which turns into more circular representation visibility fights, which turns into another circus, yeehaw. 

Which sometimes even turns into striking down their own representative work (be that SPN here or the goblins we all know on this hellsite that tear down anything that looks vaguely like representation because it isn’t XYZ enough). Because in the interest of arguing with *maybe 15 percent of the population that doesn’t think you have the right to exist* about *fictional content* being made to *represent YOU, not them*, we ironically do a lot of damage to our queer canon by just stomping on current incrementalization and expansion without minding the history and steamroll it. Which frankly makes us all look like disorganized lunatics trying to Make Everything Gay™ even if that’s not what it is remotely.

And because I know this will be misunderstood I’ll continue to frame this point from a few angles before it’s misrepresented: Wanting rep/seeing queer narratives wherever you go is fine and the nature of the fight, I’m just trying to explore the divide between r/NiceGuys that get mad at the gay vs the modern LGBT comm and frankly the general bloated, inflated relevance they have that the community at times lets, or even invites dialogue of, their heteronormative framings, often rooted back from times of REALLY DARK PROPAGANDA AND GENOCIDE and how it affected culture – to damage and bury their own content, generally in the logic “if they don’t see it, then it doesn’t count!” when, if-and-when queer coding or open in your face textual coming-out canon or even just low-visibility text is conscious, that is content for *you.*

And it’s not saying “stop and settle” to put this into perspective. It’s “don’t piss on the work everybody else did before you – or worse on what they’re doing right now – just to argue with the couple of assbags left in the universe.“ They’ll go away too eventually. It doesn’t happen overnight. And they’re not going to stop happening overnight. No matter how many gay video game soldiers you find at this type, no matter if Dean Winchester just quietly voices his repeat encounters with men in a way that landmarks it so loudly you NEED to break out alt-right dialogues those same 1 in 8 have that I have beaten to death – to choose to interject that kind of long-ago-addressed conversational edge is literally to choose to interject homophobic dialogue into conversations of how LGBT rep should work and honey if you need an indicator that you may be leaning in the wrong direction, there’s your sign.

But it can be hard to unplug and stop thinking the world is still as bad as it is back then, BECAUSE you run into those assbags that resist it loudly. But like many things, numbers show they’ve died off into a minority. We still have a way to go, but this is a weird ongoing self-inflated fight that seems heavily unaware on WHY people react like that (as per the original ask) much less how ridiculous it is to keep dragging dialogues born in the AIDS epidemic days into these discussions.

Simple point? If you aren’t able to really mobilize on content (yelling online generally ain’t it, chief), ignore them. Enjoy your content if it’s yours, because there’s a lot of effort in simply erasing normalizing queer content because if it’s not EXTREME enough to win against THOSE GUYS *POINTS AT* then NYEAAAAAAAAAH.

It was never gonna be enough to win on those guys, even if it was full queer cinema canon LGBT stories and not stories that just include LGBT people normally.

Look I don’t even know what soldier you’re talking about, and I don’t care. Enjoy your shit your way and remember how easy it is for a minority to be ruthlessly loud when they can connect themselves across the wholeassed internet. 

But until people really learn the history of why certain mindsets cropped up or how they invaded conversation or what rattled entire generations to their core, prople are gonna have a hard time fucking communicating with each other instead of just talking over each other. And sometimes even talking over their own within the community/engaging in deletion/the carousel runs in a circle.

But *why* that mindset exists? It’s not difficult. It’s because this nation got saturated in propaganda that warranted letting the homosexual community suffer and die in numbers that would make your head spin, where everyone knew someone with it, as coffeebrainblog has said, where we were treated like lepers, or “cursed by god”, or as lesser, inhuman things and climbing out of that hole has been a hell of a ride, but the community has to also de-internalize that propaganda and realize WE’RE PRETTY MUCH THERE. Like the road isn’t over, the war isn’t 100% won, but if the statistics alone don’t get you, if you *really* sat and read this reply, maybe where the din and eternal upset has buried our *progress*, you’ll realize that progress has dramatically pitched that into being the minority.

But it keeps everybody arguing from disadvantaged levels and even some choosing to self-handicap by creating their own definitions, rules, boundaries and almost states of the universe they’ll accept, because 1 in 8ish people hate them, but they’re still stuck in a world where 1 in 2 might want you dead, somewhere in your headspace. It’s like setting your own handicap bar which… is kind of the opposite? Of what we’re supposed to do? We’re supposed to knock down those cages? And point out we’re the same as everyone else? Running to prove things to people who still think we might carry God’s Plague And Be Judged that haven’t listened to decades of correction so far, just to dissect and dismantle your own contents or enjoyments – it’s a really, really weird backwards pedaling thing to aim for.

I *get* why people think it’s the right way, again, as per all of this, but it’s… it’s pedaling backwards and thinking it’s moving forward. 

So while I don’t know what soldier you’re talking about, it was a chance to address A) why there’s resistance in some generations B) what that did to us, as a community C) where sometimes we lose track of ourselves in a carnival of competition.

EDIT:

This note by @amitywho rings home:

Excellent analysis. I’m extremely ancient - I was a grown-ass adult in a flyover state back in 1980 when the first whispers about “the gay cancer” in New York and San Francisco began to make their way to us. I had to drive 150 miles to find a bookstore that carried any kind of gay-positive literature. We parked across the street to watch and see who might be loitering in the neighborhood - if they had baseball bats, no one would be coming to help.

I’ll also add there seems to be OUSA influence, but I centered on the american demographic of an american show; but it still impacts online worldwide net conversation. That OUSA influence varies between highly oppressed countries having heartier ala-80s POVs on LGBT, to on the exact opposite OUSA fans not really having their heads wrapped around the American side of the history beyond what it means in a few articles if they came from more progressive countries that didn’t, like, genocide their gays. So even older LGBT OUSA people look at it from the disembodied angle of a few headlines they remember, not being in the blast zone and resulting fallout.

Also to drift to another topic of LGBT exploitation: If you want to know why CW has “dare to defy” as a slogan just behind the idea that they have PoC or gays on their channel, I really need someone to sit and think about that. Welcome to a bunch of older people that remember these days that see it as *DEFIANT* to do at our current intersection. Nevermind them now exploiting that to try to find a new center for their network after CBS fucked them WRT Netflix, but hey. Yeah. Put that in scale. Why does it need virtue signal marketing, and moreover, what are they “defying”? This. This kind of mindset. Which is heavily sourced in an age demographic likely to be the core of CW Exec boards and marketing. 

If you want an idea how deep rooted in our psyche stunted dialogues are, the fact that few people even blink at that says a fuck of a lot to me. No, we dared to defy decades ago, you’re just trying to profit on what you still run through marketing and demographics and ho-hum but think you can pull money from. There’s a difference. But it does betray the minds behind it. It should be more like “DARE TO LOSE 15% OF OUR PROFIT MARGIN AND HOPE WE GET THAT 20-30% OF GAYS INSTEAD” – it’s profiting off of the work the LGBT community did and acting like they’re brave for doing it at a point that they actually risk more losses to NOT start. It’s signaling themselves as heroes in a battle they had nothing to do with. And it’s pretty standard fare.

(And, ON that aside, it spins me out how often I’ve seen in misc fandoms fans acting like queer content that is canonically queer doesn’t count if it’s not overtly marketed and shopped explicitly as LGBT content, rather than content that happens to have LGBT elements – why are you BEGGING to be exploited before you consider yourselves valid, I’m confused. We’ve already had our big grand coming out stories and tales of struggle and there’s a whole queer canon history I’ve posted about this. The whole point of our current junction is getting content everywhere that reflects how normal-and-everywhere we are, why are y’all like this)

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Carly: Demi Lovato fucking hates me. I’m fucking done and so do my other mutuals. Fuck this. Fuck everything. Fuck life. I’m done with this shit.

Claudia: What’s wrong

Carly: I started this fucking hashtag. The thing is I was supporting her. The Lovatics I asked to join were supporting and defending her. I’m just fucking done with every goddamn thing in my shitty life. I guess this is what I get for trying to support her and send her love. Whatever.

Screenshot: I’m extremely frustrated, I accepted a free trip to Israel in exchange for a few posts. No one told me there would be anything wrong with going or that I could possible be offending anyone. With that being said, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt or offended anyone, that was not my intention. Sometimes people present you with opportunities and no one tells you the potential backlash you could face in return. This was meant to be a spiritual experience for me, NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT and now I realize it hurt people and for that I’m sorry. Sorry I’m not more educated, and sorry for thinking this trip was just a spiritual experience. Going against all advice right now and apologizing because it feels right to me and I’d rather get in trouble for being authentic to myself, that staying quiet to please other people. I love my fans, all of them, from all over.

POST: Demi doesn’t deserve this kind of backlash. #weloveyoudemi

ddlovato: Or how about y’all stop having to make hashtags saying you love me every time you realize your words affect me?

Carly: I’m the one who started the hashtag because I fucking love you. I’m not the one who hurt your feelings and the Lovatics who I fucking asked to join were defending you. So I’m fucking sorry and won’t do it again.

Carly: Forgive me for standing up for you then and trying to show you support. I guess I’m done then.

~.O.~

If you have to ask me why I hate this woman, here’s another example. Let’s ignore the invalidating of other queer people simply because she never experienced homophobia from a certain person. Let’s ignore her siding with a genocide-supporting asshole. Let’s ignore her body-shaming of other women because of her own insecurities. Let’s ignore the myriad of other issues and just use this example.

Carly is a Twitter mutual of mine. She loves Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato equally. However every time Demi does something rude af or wrong, she’s at the forefront defending her no matter what the infraction is. To every fandom on stan twitter. To an annoying degree because I hate Demi as a person and don’t want to hear about her. But Carly is a nice person so I just shut up and say nothing whenever I see her Demi posts.

Recently Demi has been kissing Israel’s ass about how perfect they are essentially and how cleansing and calm the country seems during her trip there. A good portion of her fans were very quick to call out how not perfect they are and explain what’s going on with Palestine. They basically just asked for her to be more considerate of other people and what countries that aren’t America, are going through. Now the rest of stan Twitter has not been as kind with her on this matter. Most calling her very terrible names that shouldn’t be repeated even by me who hates her.

But her own fans have been very calm and defensive of her. And so comes that Insta Story and then the rude ass remark on that Insta post.

And now Carly is heartbroken on Twitter and saying some very concerning things that should be monitored closely.

Demi’s own fans are calling her out for her overreaction to a simple post telling her that her fans love her even if she makes mistakes. I don’t care if she’s feeling defensive, she could have simply ignored the post if she didn’t like it. She didn’t need to attack the people behind the hashtag. The person running that account and Carly are now feeling horrible as a result. Add on the fact that she’s been replying to other fans in equally terrible ways and blaming them for the fact that she’s going offline for a time.

dmetriaspickle: bb, we all feel sorry you’re feeling so bad, we just meant to make you see whatever was going on there, it was not our intention to make you feel bad about this, we all love you and just want you to be happy.

ddlovato: Oh don’t worry, you guys made me feel terrible about it, and prob qwill continue to do so. I’ll be hibernating

So I have another reason to hate her. Not just how rude she was to her own fans but because of how she loves her double standards. I can think of so many times where she criticized other celebrities for not being ‘educated enough’ on various topics and where she publicly dragged them for it, but when she’s in that same boat it’s a Poor Me, I Didn’t Know, Stop Being Mean To Me.

No. Her fans have been going to bat for her ungrateful ass all over stan Twitter. They tried educating her while tearing down anyone insulting her. I’ve seen nothing but them being supportive left, right, & center and this is how she treats them?

1.) Being a fan of someone doesn’t meant you can’t criticize questionable actions of theirs.

2.) Being a fan of someone doesn’t mean you can’t be offended by questionable actions of theirs.

3.) Anyone trying to tell you otherwise is a problem.

The fact that she did the ‘you caused this and will probably continue doing it so it’s you’re fault what happens from now on’ is wrong af. That’s the most concerning thing imo. That kind of manipulation tactic is a red flag. And now all these fans who were honestly concerned/offended by the things she was saying and doing unawares, are made to feel like if she has another breakdown, it’s gonna be their fault. Because when Demi gets in too big for her britches on social media, she ‘takes a break’. Everyone knows it.

It’s all about how their words affect her, but she won’t take account of how her words affect them. Because whether people want to admit it or not, Demi has the most power in this situation. She is the famous, wealthy, pop singer. She’s got some decent numbers in various ways on her side. And fact is, the fans who sided with her and thought the Palestinian fans were overreacting, are now attacking other Lovatics on her behalf because of her comments.

And her fans weren’t dragging her! Stan Twitter was collectively at the helm of this bs and the Lovatics were on the defense. Demi is taking her anger out on the wrong people and I hate it.

[darkpoisonouslove]

If someone can explain to me why I waited all day to start writing only when I needed to go to bed and am still awake three hours later, that would be great. I did manage to bring my plans for today to fruition, though, which leaves us with these:

Griffin has started her evening ritual when Faragonda shows up to offer a hand in more than one way.

29 - preparations

A little gust of magic caressed her senses. The energy was calm and flowed easily through the air, reaching her and making the knots her nerves had been tied into come undone just like her brush was doing with her hair, although it was way more pleasant that the pull on her purple strands.

“Need some help with that?” Faragonda asked, stepping closer. She’d barely arrived and she was already offering her assistance, making all troubles seem far and inconsequential.

Griffin didn’t fight the smile pulling at her lips. “Well, I don’t need it, but it would be very much appreciated,” she said, her fingers opening to allow Faragonda to pull the hairbrush out of her hand when she’d barely finished her sentence. It just made the smile widen, especially when she caught Faragonda’s look in the mirror.

“It will be my pleasure,” Faragonda said as she tangled her free hand into the purple locks and gently combed the hairbrush through them, making Griffin close her eyes to enjoy the moment fully. “You seem content,” Faragonda noted with discernible smugness in her voice.

“Why wouldn't I be?” Griffin asked, letting herself just enjoy the moment and passing up the opportunity for some playful banter. All she needed currently was the gentleness with which Faragonda was brushing her hair.

“You mean that as long as I’m here all the troubles stay away?” Faragonda asked, but the smile that could still be heard in her voice was somewhat more insecure now. As if she had doubts about the effect she had on Griffin. Or it was simply that her own troubles couldn’t melt away just because she was in the arms of someone who loved her. Either way, it was concerning to a point that Griffin couldn't allow.

“You mean that my presence doesn’t make you forget your problems?” she teased as she opened her eyes to look for a reaction, hoping to lighten the mood and tell Faragonda everything she needed to hear. They’d never needed to speak to communicate but she was prepared for a heartfelt conversation if that was what was necessary to disperse the clouds over Faragonda’s mind.

The smile that appeared on Faragonda’s face was enough to let her know she’d succeeded. “I would never dare to insinuate that,” she teased back, making Griffin roll her eyes playfully at the feigned fear of her.

She reached behind and caught Faragonda’s hand, waiting for her to untangle it from her hair so that she could lace their feelings together. “Good,” she said, making sure to hold Faragonda’s gaze in the mirror, “because I need your whole focus while you’re helping me with my evening routine.” She placed a kiss on the back of Faragonda’s hand to show her gratitude in advance.

Faragonda sighed dramatically, looking to the sky as if it could open and suck her up to save her from Griffin’s special brand of sweet torture. “Magic rituals require less preparations than your bedtime does,” she whined while she kept brushing the purple locks which defeated the purpose of her complaining.

“Shut up,” Griffin pulled her hand out of Faragonda’s, trying to play offended but the laughter bubbled in her, making the task impossible. “I’m doing all of this to be beautiful for you,” she said, immediately regretting the words when her voice got smaller, the insecurities the existence of which she was doing her best to deny jumping on her despite the playful tone of the conversation, threatening to ruin everything with her own fragility that she hated so much.

“You’re always beautiful to me,” Faragonda said, having sensed where her mind had gone to, but that only made Griffin look away since she didn’t want to face her own weakness in the mirror. She had enough of that every morning. “Griffin, look at me,” Faragonda urged softly, both of her hands on Griffin's shoulders now, even if she was still holding the hairbrush, and compelled her to comply with the request. “Always,” Faragonda said, her gaze so intense that it was impossible for any doubts not to crumble under it.

Griffin felt her whole face soften as her heart relaxed. “Sweet talker,” she murmured as she couldn't quite find it in herself to give the charade her everything when Faragonda had genuinely touched her. But accepting reassurance meant admitting the insecurities had gotten the best of her and she wasn’t ready to admit that defeat.

“Well, I don’t need to talk to convince you of how beautiful you are,” Faragonda said, knowing her well enough to not get offended even when Griffin was slightly offended by her own behavior on her behalf.

She raised her eyebrows and let her lips form a silent ‘oh?’ that was that much more comedic for it before turning around in her chair to face Faragonda. “I might give you a chance to prove that claim to me if you ask nicely,” she said, pulling the hairbrush from Faragonda’s hand in an invitation to make a move and employing her magic to drop it off on her vanity.

Faragonda didn’t need more. She leaned down and captured Griffin's lips in an intense kiss while she tangled her hands in the purple locks, pulling on them slightly as she did so and making Griffin moan in her mouth as sign number one that she believed her. And if she knew Faragonda, she wouldn't stop before she’d gotten at least, like, a hundred of those and made her forget everything from her insecurities to her unfinished evening ritual.

Griffin has already sacrificed her tomorrows with Valtor in order to allow him to take away her tomorrows with Faragonda too.

22 - tomorrow

The steps approaching her were quiet enough not to disturb the natural peaceful state of the library–or at least not to disturb it more than her own sobs that she’d tried to suppress but some had gotten away from her–and that gave away who they belonged to. She’d thought that she’d be alone in the library in that late hour but Faragonda always knew when something was wrong with her so when she hadn’t found her in her room, she’d also known where to look for her.  

Sure enough she felt her friend’s gentle touch on her shoulder before Faragonda sat down on the floor next to her slumped form. And as much as she’d wanted to be left alone she could never make herself shrug off Faragonda’s hand because nothing was stronger than their friendship. Not even guilt or self-loathing.  

Griffin looked up at Faragonda and even though her vision was blurred from the tears and her glasses were all covered in water drops, she could still see Faragonda’s eyes darken as she sensed the direction of her thoughts.  

“You’re crying because of him,” she didn’t try to stall or be roundabout and the way she spat out the pronoun made Griffin afraid to think of how she would've said his name. It reminded her too much of the hatred her own heart held and it was a pain that she never wanted to let Faragonda go through. “This is all on him. He’s a monster,” Faragonda said, her grip on Griffin's shoulder tightening slightly as if in an attempt to get the words through to her. And it was far from hurtful–she doubted Faragonda could ever harm her no matter how far either one of them would let herself go–but it was still alarming with the potential for destruction it carried. Potential that couldn't be in Faragonda’s hands.

“He is,” Griffin said through heaving breaths, the images flashing through her mind more than enough evidence of that, painting a perfect picture of his crimes and everything he was capable of. And her heart hurt, burned by her own feelings. “He is the monster that I love,” she said, cutting her gaze from Faragonda’s because she couldn't take the chance of seeing some more hatred in her friend’s eyes. Even when she knew Faragonda would never hate her no matter what she’d done. “Because I’m a monster too.”

“That’s not-”

“Yes, it is,” Griffin interrupted her because everything Faragonda would say was biased. And they had a real problem when she was the objective one. “Valtor kills whoever gets in his way to accomplish his goal,” her hand closed in a fist,clutching tightly at the fabric of her dress to keep herself out of the past when she’d seen no problem with that. Not because she was disgusted by the memories but because she was afraid she’d forget why she should be. “I have killed people who were in my way to accomplish my goal,” and she’d seen no problem with it right up to the very end, right until she’d realized how far that mindset could take you. Genocide had been her cutoff point this time, but if she fell into that madness again, she couldn't be certain that she’d be able to stop herself once more. “We’re one and the same. It’s why we made such a great team.” It was why she still missed the intoxicating feeling of their partnership. Of everything that had come with it from the good morning kisses to the heartless killing, it had all been a part of the heaven they’d built for themselves while chasing their common goals.

“You’re not like him,” Faragonda said as she grabbed at her shoulders as if to shake her out of those thoughts and she held on to her even if she didn’t quite want to leave them. Just like she hadn’t wanted to leave him. She hadn’t wanted to leave her everything behind. And she sometimes still wanted to go back, held back only by the fact that he’d never take her and that would break her heart worse than being away from him burned. “You left him because you’re better.” She was burning in agony because she wasn’t. She’d never been.

“That difference is just a product of circumstances,” she said, her voice steady now and the tears drying because she’d never been more sure of anything in her life. He’d been raised not to feel, not to care and not to value life. She hadn’t, and yet, she’d been right there with him, at his side the entire time. And in a sense that made her worse than him. Because he didn’t know any better, but she did. She did and she’d still crossed the line and her own boundaries. And she couldn't blame him for that, or her love for him. She could only blame her own heart that had been full of too much pain and hatred and she’d allowed it to go numb while simultaneously drawing from the negative feelings to feed her magic and make herself a threat to the innocent.

“You love him still?” Faragonda asked, and there was no judgment in her voice or her eyes just like Griffin had known there wouldn't be. And she couldn't tell if it was relief that filled her or guilt. Because she didn’t deserve that treatment but she wanted it too much to refuse it with her selfishness. She’d let herself become the worst possible version of what she could be and Faragonda still regarded her as a friend. Because she was still her friend, even when she was at her worst.

She did. She did love him and it hurt but it was better that way. It was better to hurt from love than from hate. She’d learned that now and it was a valuable lesson that managed to give some meaning to her life and the cycle of agony it had become.  

Faragonda’s hands fell away from her shoulders, making her heart skip a beat from the uncertainty that washed over it. “I swore to myself that I’d kill him,” Faragonda said, making Griffin flinch with how slow and serious the words were, definitely well thought out and not just a show of impulsivity, “but I can’t take him away from you.” Faragonda looked down, as if ashamed from herself, and for the first time in their friendship Griffin wasn’t quite certain she knew what stood behind the action. For Faragonda was certainly not joking about her decision, so perhaps she was ashamed of the possibility of her actions hurting Griffin.  

“He took himself from me,” Griffin was quick to say to reassure her, to reassure them both.

Valtor wouldn't be any more lost to her if he were dead than he was now. But she knew she still wouldn't be able to accept it. Her heart would still fill with resentment for Faragonda if she killed him, for it would be like having a part of it torn away and she’d need something to fill the bleeding, gaping hole left in the place of her love. And she couldn't afford that. She couldn't afford more hate.  

“However, I’m asking you not to do it.” She hesitated for a moment before reaching to take Faragonda’s hand in hers. The gesture drew too much of her attention to the fact that her hands were stained with blood but that was the least of her concerns right now. “Not because of me but because of you.” A lie wasn’t such a big deal after all the other crimes she’d already committed. The truth that would break Faragonda’s heart was more concerning but the only way to be selfless now was to be selfish. Or at least that was what she liked to believe. “It’s so hard to begin every day knowing that you’re the reason someone has no tomorrows,” she said, not sure whether looking at Faragonda or not would be better, but she couldn't look anyway so that solved the problem even if it was the solution that only served her, “knowing that you’re the reason there’s a corpse with no soul out there.”

Faragonda squeezed her hand, not allowing her to sink into the memories of all the terrified faces that had come to terrify her in her dreams. It was not quite in her ability to tell whether it was done in support or in search of such and she allowed herself to interpret it as both, giving herself permission to be selfless and selfish with the presumption that that was what Faragonda was doing. Even though she couldn't remember a single time when the fairy had been selfish and hadn’t had her best interest in mind, but she chose to ignore the knowledge that she was just projecting to assuage her own conscience when she had to be a good friend.  

“Valtor may be a monster but he has enough of a soul for it to weigh on your conscience.” Breaking his heart still weighed on hers, and she’d only killed him figuratively. Though, knowing him, that was probably worse. But it was all her good intentions ever led to, and she had no choice but to live with it, because her bad intentions always led to worse. It was the one word that described her perfectly. She was a witch, but she wasn’t evil. She was worse. “Don’t do that to yourself,” she said as she locked eyes with Faragonda. Don’t make me lose you, the voice screamed in her head, but she held it back in one last attempt to put someone before herself for a change. She’d already lost Valtor, and she’d lost herself. She couldn't lose Faragonda too. It would be too much. There would be no tomorrow for her if that ever happened.

It seemed to work as Faragonda drew her into a hug, even if only due to the fact that Faragonda’s best interest coincided with hers this time. It still allowed Griffin to breathe deeply, though, as she wrapped her arms around Faragonda, trying to keep her safe as much as she was holding on for her life. For the sun would keep coming up every morning as long as Faragonda was there with her.

[shellsan]

30 Day Writing Challenge

Day Five: Ice

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Pairing: Frostiron

Disclaimer: I do not own the MCU, clearly.

Ice

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Reasons to love and care for your Jotunn:

Reason 1: Your Jotunn probably thinks it deserves to be hated and spends its time thinking its a monster. This is false and it is your job to remind them that they are just as worthy of love as any other being in the universe. No-one's fate is decided by their birth – no-one's.

Loki trembled slightly as he glared at Tony fiercely in an attempt to keep him away. “Don't come near me!”

The almost roar made Tony pause as he looked up at his boyfriend who was sitting with ruby red eyes and blue skin, and yet acting so much like the love of his life that he was tempted to coo.

It would be a bad idea so he refrained, but it was a near thing.

Maybe it was the kitten like fierceness setting the instinct off?

Shaking away those thoughts, he tried to focus on Loki, who was still panicking.

The engineer filled with sadness at the way he seemed to be closing in on himself. From the beginning Tony had known about Loki's origins, but this was the first time seeing Loki's Jotunn form and considering the possibilities.

They weren't as bad as Loki seemed to think they would be.

“Lokes, sweetheart, darling, let me come over there. I wanna be near you honey.” He cajoled, voice soft and a little pleading.

His boyfriend's eyes narrowed at the open manipulation. “No. Give me a little bit and I will return to my Aesir form. Then you can near me again.”

Tony sighed sadly. “But buttercup, I want to be near you now. I don't mind. You're pretty like this.”

The glare Loki shot him would have put a normal man ten feet under but Tony just shrugged it off easily.

“Are you insane? I'm a monster Anthony! Do you not see me right now? Do you not understand the danger of me in this form?”

The way he spat the word form like it wasn't his natural body made Tony feel all the sadder.

“Of course I see you, Lokes. But from where I'm standing I don't see a monster. I see my beautiful boyfriend who's a little more blue than usual, but that's okay because I like it.”

The flippant attitude seemed to shock Loki. “You like it? You can't possibly! I'm hideous, the thing that parent's tell their children to fear in the darkness, primitive and baseless.” He hissed.

Tony shook his head sadly making his lover growl. “Said who?”

“Excuse me?”

“Who said that the Jotunn's are primitive, hideous monsters?”

“The books and stories on Asgard are quite clear.”

Tony risked taking a step forward, shaking his head. “And what about places other than Asgard?” He inquired, a inkling as to what was going on forming in his mind.

“I don't understand why that matters.”

“Just answer the question for me, Lokes. What do places other than Asgard write about the Jotunn?”

Loki swallowed thickly. “I'm not sure.” He whispered after a quite moment.

Tony hummed and risked a couple steps closer, now only standing a few steps away from Loki. “I figure as much. Here on Earth we have a saying. 'History is written by the victor'. Do you understand what that means?” He asked, aiming to get Loki to think.

“Tony-”

“It's a reminder to people who study history that things that have happened in the past are good to learn and to learn from, but they are often biased in their favour. Because it's rare for the people who lose to be able to write their own history, so instead you have only one-side of the battle. It will always be biased by their views unless something else comes to light. So tell me, Loki, have you ever been to wherever the Jotunn come from? Have you observed them and learnt their culture? Have you tried to understand them in the same way that you would try to learn of any other culture, with zero expectations? Have you thought to eliminate your own bias?”

Loki swallowed thickly, body shaking all the more.

“No, you're wrong. They have to be monsters. They have to.” He denied, shaking his head quickly as memories of the stories told in Asgard fought against the logic of Tony's words and memories of the war he tried to start and genocide he'd begun flashed causing guilt, guilt, guilt.

He jumped a little when he felt the warmth of Tony's hand seeping through his hand. When had he moved forward again?

“Look at me, sweetheart.”

Loki shook his head and Tony tsk'ed lightly before bringing his hand up to move Loki's head himself and because Loki was weak, always weak to his Anthony, he didn't deny him a second time.

Gazing into Tony's eyes he swallowed at the open adoration and love in his eyes.

“Every thing’s going to be fine, sweetheart. I promise. Trust me?”

And Loki broke, falling into the arms of his love.

“Always.” He promised, voice a little broken as he sobbed into the engineer's shoulder. “Always.”

Reason 2: Your Jotunn is probably touch starved. It's impossible for most races to hold them in their natural form, lest it result in frost bit of the highest degree. This doesn't mean that they don't need hugs too. Please note: Even if your Jotunn does use magic and changes form they will still run at a colder temperature.

It had been a few hours since Loki had broken down and they were now laying in bed with Loki curled into Tony seeming smaller than ever even though his body was so much larger than Tony's.

It was painful to see the love of his life like this, so fragile where he had always seemed strong.

He promised himself in that moment that he'd get to the bottom of Loki's lineage and change the man's mind about the race he came from. Loki wasn't a monster, no matter what he thought.

A small grumbling sound shook Tony from his thoughts and he smiled down at Loki when he realised that the other man was glaring at him.

“What's wrong, sweetheart?”

“Cuddle me tighter.” Loki grumbled, trying to snuggle closer and melting when Tony ran his hands over his skin, tracing aimless patterns.

It was cold to the touch but not so much that it was burning him. He figured that Loki had something to do with that and he was grateful because it meant that he didn't have to worry about hurting himself and making Loki hate himself any more than he already did.

Reason 3: In conjunction with reason 2, it is important to understand that Jotunns crave warmth. This isn't to say that they want you to give them an extra blanket and a hot water bottle before sending them on their way. No, your Jotunn wants body heat. They're sensitive to it like it's a particularly nice hot bath and crave it for the same reasons.

“You're not too warm?” Tony asked, breaking the silence after ten minutes had gone by.

Loki shook his head, barely a movement as he snuggled into Tony's chest further. “It's nice. Kind of like being under a blanket. Cozy.” He tried to explain, voice muffled, hot air puffing into Tony's chest just under his collarbone.

Tony couldn't help but snort at that. “Glad I could be a good blanket then.” He teased.

“Shhh. Blanket's don't talk.” Loki insisted, pinching Tony in reprimand and making Tony flinch away for a second before he was pulled closer once more, chuckling.

He got the picture though and stayed quiet, allowing himself to drift slightly, happy to keep tracing patterns over Loki's skin for as long as he needed it.

Anything for his god.

Reason 4: The practical applications of someone who is always cold in Summer is hard to ignore. A personal icepack to keep you cold and better yet the summer heat won't stop you from enjoying the cuddles you both deserve. Bet a normal human can't give you that!

Over the next couple of months, Tony had watched Loki slowly come out of his shell, allowing his Jotunn form to show more often and relaxing in it as long as it was only them.

It was invigorating to see and Tony grinned at him proudly whenever he woke up to find his boyfriend colour blue.

Around summer was when the applications of a ice block in the form of a lover really began to come together, and the real genius struck while he was laying on the couch, unable to cool down no matter how much he fiddled with the AC. The temperature of the room still felt insufferable.

Spotting Loki strutting around in his blue skin, Tony's mind lit up with opportunity and he purposefully made his eyes go wide as he looked at his boyfriend who had stopped in front of the couch and was looking at him with fond exasperation.

Holding out his arms, Tony made exaggerated grabby fingers towards him.

“Loki, I think I'm dying.” He declared.

There was snort of disbelief before the couch dipped slightly and Loki was in touching distance.

“Poor baby.” He coo'ed, voice completely void of sympathy and condescention clear.

Tony pouted further.

“Come cuddle me.” He demanded.

Loki rolled his eyes before sighing like it was the hardest thing in the world. “I cannot simply spend the day laying around with you just because you've turned me into some glorified ice pack.” He informed, sniffing as if he was offended at the thought.

But completely opposite to his words, Loki laid down, curling around Tony easily and pulling the smaller man into his chest.

Sighing at the instant coolness, Tony snuggled closer.

“Shhh. Ice blocks don't talk.” He informed.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Don't be a brat.” He scoffed, pinching Tony in reprimand.

The engineer bit the first bit of skin he could find, smirking at the shiver it pulled from Loki.

“Make me.”

Reason 5: The sexual advantages! Temperature play, google it folks. Hands cold as ice running over your body and teasing goose flesh from every point, hell yes. And that sensitivity to heat applied in the form of wax play? The images are enough to have anyone thanking their Jotunn and appreciating them all the more!

This final application came to Tony in the aftermath of the above situation, sated and comfortable in the after glow of some fantastic sex, body already happy from the application of those ice fingers tracing his skin and pinching his nipples.

And the thought of how the opposite would feel to Loki, memories of how easily he soaked up Tony's warmth on a normal day, how soft he went for the 'coziness' he'd described.

Tony licked his lips, yes there were many things he could do with this knowledge.

He considered bringing it up in that moment but decided against it, choosing instead to curl himself around Loki like an octopus, sticking as close as he possibly could.

'Later,' He promised himself. 'I'll bring it up later.'

And if it took until Loki found this exactly blog post before Tony could wrack up the courage, well, at least Loki's snooping was good for something.

Reason 1 to let him love you back: Your Jotunn should also be kept from discovering the blog post about him but will probably forgive you on account of how romantic it is. They would also remind you that you should let them love and care for you too because he thinks those same things about you.

Tony blinked at the unfamiliar words that had been added to his draft sometime between the past day or so and flushed slightly, a small smile tugging at his lips. Bloody Loki. Couldn't let Tony have the last work even if it was on his own blog. Figures.

Checking the format, he shrugged and made the final edits before posting it. It wouldn't hurt to let Loki have his fun. At least this time he was doing it in a relatively safe manner and not animating the Statue of Liberty or something again.

Just as the thought crossed the engineer's mind he heard an angry shout a couple floors down.

Or not.

[surflove808]

On “social justice warriors” in the SPN fandom, knee jerk reactions and why they’re harmful to everyone.

I keep seeing people trolling Jensen after the (insert sarcasm font) terrible, horrible, remark he made during a roundtable discussion at SDCC2018.  When asked about the challenges of speaking another language as a new character, he said, and I quote:  "It was Arabic and it was an actual verse from the Quran and so, um, you don't wanna mess that up. (laughter from around the table) (Said with nervous laughter) I mean is ISIS gonna come after me if I'm saying the wrong thing?"  (More laughter from around the table).  

In another interview he talked about the importance of speaking and enunciating the language correctly especially because it was a holy verse from the Quran. Respect for the language, respect for the verse and respect for the religion was the name of the game, thematically speaking.  However... we have our usual peanut gallery making a mountain out of a molehill, so here I am to be an equal, but just as obnoxious voice on the matter.  

Even though my brother-in-law and his family are from Iraq and have been a part of my family, and ours theirs, for many years....even though my sister and a handful of friends (Palestinians and Iraqis predominantly) are practicing Muslims, I'm not arrogant enough to speak on behalf of the Muslim majority based on my small association.  Unlike a lot of commenters I’ve been seeing.

I'm not of the Muslim faith.  What I'm about to tell you guys is based on my knowledge and opinion alone.  But I can tell you, my brother-in-law thinks the uproar over this is ridiculous with a capital R.  AKA:  "Majnun"

Islam is complex and misunderstood, to say the least.  But for those of you who care to educate yourselves or others on the basics, read this:  https://www.islamreligion.com/articles/10256/core-values-of-islam/  But really, read more.  Much, much more.

The core values of ISIS are similar to the core values of Islam, but the way they practice is fundamentally opposed to the Muslim faith at large.  That's why they're considered an extremist group.  They're responsible for countless human rights violations, genocide and acts of terrorism not only against Westerners, but fellow (and especially) Muslim people who don't bow to their attempts at suppression.

Jensen stated that it was important to him to get the Arabic language and enunciation right because he was reciting holy verse from the Quran (which in and of itself, is a dangerous thing to do as a public figure on a t.v. show as far as ISIS is concerned) and he's pretty fucking on the mark about being concerned about flubbing the verse and dialect as far as ISIS is concerned.  I guarantee you that this is a conversation that took place on set that day.  This is a real thing, people.

What he did NOT do at any point in time, was equate fear of retribution with Islam or Muslims.  He equated fear of retribution with ISIS.  A splinter group of jihadists.  It's a pretty valid concern, even said jokingly.  Because these people do NOT have a sense of humor.

The only people I see generalizing around here and on his instagram/twitter are the people insisting he apologize and going off on him for his remark.  They are literally assuming that ISIS=Muslim, and that’s beyond ignorant.  They can assume all they want, but his statement does not reflect what they are accusing him of.  Bottom line.

Reactionary children are equating his comment with anti-Muslim sentiment when it's simply not.    ISIS is a relevant, dangerous and very real group of individuals who seek to terrorize their own countrymen into submission and the world-at-large, if possible.  Stop conflating the two, people.  You're only making matters worse with your fake "wokeness".

Some misguided people and their dire need to be social justice warriors could very well turn this into a very real, and very dangerous issue.  You think I'm kidding?  Remember Charlie Hebdo??  Try reading a bit, learning a bit...before you go off on social media.  For fucks sake, people.  If you don’t know about the massacre at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, google it.

I see some comments on Instagram saying "Well, I've spoken with MANY Muslims and they're ALL offended...."  I'm sure you took a poll in the past 4 hours in order to compile your results.  That must have been very challenging...I'm just kidding, you're full of shit.

It's always easier to go after a random celebrity when you're arrogant enough to think you can influence their lives, their decisions.  Makes you feel powerful knowing that maybe something YOU said helped them see the light and change their ways.  Right?  Gives you some sense of control over the object of your adoration.  

In some instances, I could see the logic in public shaming.  Holding a public figure accountable for actions that are genuinely harmful.  I get it.  But (and I hate to say this.  Because it sucks) this is the SPN fandom we’re talking about.  Rife with ship wars, trolls and anti’s.  After everything I’ve seen around here, it’s becoming difficult for me to trust attempts at calling one of these guys out on the basis of “social justice”.  It feels dirty, because most of the time - it is. 

If you want to change the world.... there are much more effective ways than misguidedly harassing an actor on a t.v. show.  I've stated a variation on this theme a few times in past posts.  And I'm not thrilled that I felt compelled to write and post this, but when I see and have seen the destructive power of the gloriously anonymous comment sections on social media and the ripple effect that can come from a few determined Boneheads On A Mission.... it sets me off on the fucking broke down, held-together-by-duct tape rantmobile that I call my conscience.

I'm not active on Twitter and don't do Instagram or FB because I generally feel social media does more harm than good.  I'm not gonna repeat myself here, there or anywhere.  I just needed to get this out of my system and hope that maybe someone reads this long ass essay and comes away with another perspective.  Because.... common sense?  

These issues are far more complex than a soundbite and the ensuing knee-jerk reactions.  This is an important discussion that transcends the “He said/She said” nature of this conversation and it merits real, thoughtful exploration.  And it deserves to be held with accountability and respect for one another and a degree of seriousness that you’re just not gonna achieve with your bullshit back and forth on an actors social media account.

My question for you is:  Are you more concerned about shaming someone, getting their attention even if for negative reasons, and bending them to your will... or do you want to make the effort, do the research and have an intelligent discussion with your friends, family, professors, the world at large?  Because I guarantee if you guided your attentions to positively provoking discussion and being receptive to other peoples experience, opinions and knowledge, you’d be a helluva lot more productive.

[thegreymoon]

Hi I have been a fan of your work for a very long time and so I sneak into your tumblr from time to time.I counldnt help but notice that you post a lot of political/sjw stuff and I know it is none of my business but since I am probably absolutely opposite in my political views I can't help myself and ask: I understand that you are Asian, but you don't seem to be interested in real or imagined injustices in your country/continent and are mainly interested in USA, why is that?

Hi, anon!

First of all, I am not Asian and I’m very sorry if I ever did or said anything to mislead people into thinking that I was. It was unconsciously done. I have no intention of offending anyone or appropriating an identity that isn’t mine, so if I did something of that sort, please let me know and I’ll do my best to correct myself. I often reblog stuff about China because I think it’s an amazing country, I’m learning Mandarin (not making much progress, though), love their culture, nature, architecture and am a big fan of their historical/fantasy dramas. Also, the two fandoms I was the most active in (coincidentally) happen to be a Japanese anime and a Japanese video game, so I have a lot of love for their art and aesthetics.

I’m actually very surprised that you would ‘notice’ that I post a lot of ‘political/sjw stuff’, considering that I mostly use Tumblr to repost Merlin gifs, cast/crew news and fanworks. There is maybe one reblog on just about anything else for every fifty (perhaps even more) Merlin posts, so I really have to wonder which of the RL issues I posted about bothered you so much that you would describe them as ‘a lot’.

I may be misinterpreting the tone of your ask, so forgive me if I misread your intentions and am responding too harshly, but in my experience, ‘SJW’ is a term that is used to be dismissive when people are talking about real social issues, plus I found your wording of ‘imagined injustices’ very… interesting.

Also, I find it odd that somebody would unironically ask me why I’m ‘mainly’ interested in the USA.

First of all, the global market is oversaturated with American media, American products, American news, American movies, TV series, music, you name it. It’s everywhere. Of course I’m going to know more about it than, say, Lichtenstein. The exposure of American public figures is insane and it just happens that the stuff that appears on my dash is most often related to the USA because that is what the people I follow also follow (and for the record, on Tumblr, I mainly follow the Merlin fandom and to a somewhat lesser degree, various artists, baby animals, Chinese traditional outfits, Buzzfeed and NASA news). I absolutely do reblog pure evil, injustices, hypocrisy and intentionally inflicted misery in other countries too when I see them, but I don’t actively go looking for them on Tumblr, just like I don’t actively look for the USA posts either. The USA posts are simply there, without much active input from me, while other countries are not. An important point, of course, since we are having this weird discussion about why a random person outside of the USA is consuming so much American media, is that English is the only foreign language I am fluent in, so when it comes to foreign content, I am primarily going to read and interact with posts in English. And which country creates the most content in English? Yup, you guessed it!  

On a similar note, everything that happens in the USA affects other countries too. Nothing that goes on there takes place in a vacuum and the USA has made damn sure that it has its fingers in each and every single pie all over the world. Everything, the good and the bad, spills over and trust me, we feel the effects acutely in my unstable, politically fraught little country. The economic and cultural implications are enormous, so you can bet American issues are very personal for me, even if I don’t live there. My country’s government consists of puppets in the hands of various world leaders playing tug of war with actual human lives. My literal paycheck depends on the stability of the dollar. The survival of the entire human species hangs on how we deal with climate change right now and that ignorant, illiterate orange shitstain Americans voted into power is now standing on a global platform, spouting nonsense that is barely one step removed from Creationist bullshit and Flat-earther conspiracies. And you seriously ask me why I’m interested in the USA? 

The USA loves to dub itself as ‘the leader of the free world’ and ‘a global superpower’, and has managed to stick its nose into everybody’s business everywhere (usually with no good intentions), but somehow you question why the rest of us are now going to be interested in what is going on there, not to mention critical when the US government spouts absolute rubbish not just on a domestic, but also global scale? So, yes, I am personally invested in what is going down next in the USA and am sitting here, half the world across, cheering Americans on as they fight to have that shame they elected removed from power and, hopefully, incarcerated, along with all his corrupt cronies, advisors and family members. I’m going to be genuinely celebrating here when he finally goes down!

Secondly, I come from one of those countries that the USA and its allies have destroyed for their own gain and where they have ruined countless lives over multiple generations. I have every reason to notice, take a personal interest in and comment on the hypocrisy, the grandstanding and the false moral high ground that is assumed by the USA (and any of its bootlickers) when I see it.

For any of my USA followers here, I would just like to note that I am perfectly capable of distinguishing between ordinary people and disgusting government policies enacted by corrupt or incompetent politicians. I realise this post sounds angry, but I wish only good things for you all, people are people everywhere and the stuff I’m talking about is way above the average person’s paygrade. I also realise that the USA has screwed over so many of its own citizens; including its war veterans, PoC, minorities, the poor, the weak and the disabled. My heart goes out to you all, truly, and I love you all!

(BTW, I intentionally have not said which country I’m from because I’ve stopped publically stating my location online, simply because it makes it too easy for malicious people to identify me IRL that way. I don’t necessarily hide my RL identity if I have a valid reason to reveal my true name and location, but please forgive me for not stating it outright here, on a public platform, to satisfy the curiosity of an anon ask. My country is misogynistic, homophobic and hostile to all who are non-conforming and my job prospects are hard enough without my online pseudonyms being generally known in my RL circles. I used to be much less secretive about it, but have since learned the error of my ways and am now taking the most basic of precautions.)

With that said, yes, my country has issues! And, fyi, I have ranted and raged and cried about them before online, IRL and in private. I have posted about my country’s political problems everywhere, including here, when I was just too angry to hold it in because I’m absolute shit at being careful even when I make a conscious effort to be. Most recently, I raged about our elections which were a punch to the gut. If I was to start typing about the corruption, injustices and absolute evil going on around me, I would never stop, but I’m not going to do that because that’s not what I come to Tumblr for. This is primarily a fandom space, mostly for fandom stuff, where I come to look at other people’s things and almost never create content of my own. Just about anything political has been reblogged from someone else because it showed up on my dash and touched a nerve. Very little of that is stuff from my own country because nobody creates and reblogs posts about it in the fandom circle I mostly interact with.

I’m now trying to think back to what ‘SJW’ issues (as you put it) I reblog the most often and how any of them are ‘imaginary injustices’. Off the top of my head, the ones that usually touch a nerve are about the oppression and discrimination of women, patriarchy, sexism, various kinds of abuse, sexual assault, overworking, capitalist brainwashing, mental health issues, LGBTQ issues, freedom of speech, resurgence of Nazism, the gap between the rich and the poor, climate change and criminal religious institutions regaining power in society. I can assure you that none of these is ‘imaginary’ and the negative ways in which they affect me and the people around me are very, very real. Also, none of them is unique to the USA, which is what you seem to be the most concerned about, and even if the post is from or about the USA, these problems definitely overlap with things that I, and countless people around the world, are personally experiencing and have a lot of feelings about. The only social issues ‘unique’ to the USA that I often reblog are the ones related to the particular US brand of racism and the appalling, still-ongoing genocide committed against the indigenous people there, and how can you not empathise with that when it’s so egregious? I will reblog them every time they cross my dash to spread awareness since the US government is actively trying to stifle it and rewrite history and idc who is uncomfortable.

With all that said, I’m open to corrections and have no problem admitting to being wrong once I realise I’ve made a mistake. So, this goes for all the people following my blog: if any of the posts I shared are about ‘imaginary’ issues (just… wow at the use of this word) or contain false information, please feel free to let me know and I will take it under advisement. I’m always willing to learn.