#me waking up in a cold sweat: oh my god i need to make lucas sadder

[dulcesiabits]

 l'oiseau.

summary: Lucas finds an baby bird.

notes: 1k, SPOILERS for lucas's route and backstory, animal death

It must have been a few months after he first was saved by Capucine when Lucas found the bird. 

The bird was little more than a baby, and because its feathers hadn’t quite grown in, it was flightless. It chirped incessantly, a lonely cry for its parent, and was so weak it could do little more than wobble in the grass. 

He didn’t know why he stopped. Maybe it was because the bird was so pitiful. Maybe it was because it would die if no one helped it. Or maybe it was because the bird, ugly and naked, had down that reminded him a little of Nadia’s hair. 

But Lucas stopped. He looked at the thing, and, with a white handkerchief ready, stooped down to pick up the bird. 

His hands hovered just inches away from the bird. How did you pick up delicate things? Was it possible to hold this bird without hurting it? Lucas had to be careful with his strength. 

He scooped the bird with one slow, drawn out moment, nudging it into his hands until it sat in the middle of his white handkerchief. Perhaps it had been struck dumb by the sudden movement, because its cheeps faltered. It stared at him, with dark, wet eyes. 

This bird had no one else but him to rely on.

With that thought, Lucas took it home and nursed it over the course of the next few days. He found a small box for the bird, nestled it with fabrics and cotton, and painstakingly fed it through a small dropper, watching its throat move back and forth. He placed it near his windowsill, in a bright patch of sun. Every morning he wished it good morning, and every night he wished it good night. It was a silly habit, but the bird seemed to respond well to the sound of his voice.

The bird grew swiftly, and soon, Lucas moved from diluted liquids to mashed-up meals of fruits and seeds. Its voice grew stronger. The feathers in its wings turned full, glossy and brown. It seemed to recognize him, and would wiggle in excitement when he approached, singing him little songs. When he showed it to Nadia, sneaking it into the hospital with a lid over its box, she had clapped her hands together in excitement.

“It’s so cute…!” she whispered, touching one delicate finger to its soft head. “Is it a boy or girl?”

“Boy,” Lucas said, after a moment’s pause. He had never even considered the bird in such a way before. Was using human terminology for an animal sacrilegious? 

 “What did you name him?”

“You can name him,” he offered. “I haven’t thought of one yet.”

Nadia puffed out her cheeks. “Since he’s so small… why don’t we call him Acorn?”

“That’s a perfect name,” Lucas said warmly.

At some point, Acorn matured into an adult. Animals grew so quickly, without any fear of the curse. Acorn didn’t seem to understand human malice, either, for he would sit docile even when Lucas’s hand hovered over him. Didn’t he understand? How swiftly Lucas could kill him? How easy it would be? His life could be snuffed out, just like that.

He was a poor prey animal. Without fear, it was hard to survive for very long.

But Acorn sang, warbling melodies that spiraled into the air. He trilled every day, and hopped after Lucas like a dog would. He didn’t fly, though. That was another issue with the bird; he waddled on the ground, refusing to spread his wings, as if he believed he was a human, just like Lucas.

Acorn was a silly bird. Lucas had no choice; he would have to take care of the bird forever. It couldn’t survive on its own, and besides, the bird made Nadia smile.

One day, Capcuine found Acorn.

“What is this?” he said, picking up Acorn’s little box. Nadia has recently sewn an unevenly stitched plush for it using scraps of yellow fabric. Acorn loved to curl next to it during the night. The plush trembled as Capucine examined the bird, who didn’t react to Capucine. He only cocked his small head.

“It’s a bird, minister,” Lucas said. “I found and raised it.”

Capucine let out a short, exhausted sigh. “Lucas… why would you do that?”

“Because… it would have died otherwise.”

“It was going to die either way. That’s the way of the world. The weak die. The strong survive. You’ve just prolonged its life unnecessarily. Just like those demons prolong people’s lives at the Institute.” Capucine’s eyes bored into Lucas. “Do you understand?”

“I do,” Lucas said.

“Good.” Capucine gently picked up the bird in the palm of his hand. “You really don’t have time for distractions like this, Lucas. You need to focus on your mission.” And then he squeezed.

Acorn’s scream sounded strangely like a human’s. Piercing, loud, and desperate. Lucas had heard it so many times before. Pain transcended language. Acorn struggled, flapping his wings, as if he could finally fly. His liquid eyes darted back and forth.

He stared at Lucas, his beak straining. 

“Annoying,” Capcuine muttered, and something snapped. Acorn went limp, and Capucine placed him in his box. “Make sure to dispose of it properly.”

When Capcuine walked out, Lucas picked up the box, curling it to his body. It weighed nothing at all.

“You’re a foolish bird,” Lucas muttered.

Foolish, because Acorn hadn’t learned how to fly, and didn’t learn how to be afraid, and didn’t know how to be a proper prey animal. Foolish, because he thought he was a human, not knowing that that was the worst thing to be.

Foolish, because Lucas didn’t know how to hold things gently without breaking them.

What would Lucas tell Nadia? Maybe he would spin a lie about how the bird had flown away, to start his own family and live his own life. She would be sad for a while, but then she would move on and forget the bird. Yes, that was for the best. 

Tomorrow, he would bury the bird under the unforgiving earth, but for today, he could imagine it: the little sparrow, flying into the unknown blue, finally free. 

[redridinnghood]

How should I call it?💕 Part 1

Hello There,

I'm Back with a new Story, Story will contain more parts and be a bit slow burn.

You meet a man with a Addiction and other Problems. For example he doesn't have any Impulse Control. Can you work it out? Can you help him heal? Or will he be your End?

What happens when you meet a certain Chaotic blonde?

Polyam relationship between Rafe, JJ and Reader. Don't like, don't read.

(Y/N Pov)

The first time I met him it was a late Summer Night. Met is the wrong word, I found him lying in an Back alley behind some Fancy Club.

He was clearly under the Influence of some Drugs and Probably Drunk as Fuck. But I couldn´t just leave him there like that at three in the morning. Should I call an Ambulance? Shit but I couldn´t risk it to pay for it. On the other Hand he needed defiantly help. I let out a deep sigh. Y/N how do you get yourself always in such situations? Leaning down I check his pulse, it´s fast but not dangerously fast. His skin is hot nearly Burning and his breathing is uneven.

Gently I stroke his head. ”Hey Man wake up, you shouldn´t sleep here it’s Dangerous.” My Voice is soft, I know how People under the Influence can act out. He just slightly lifted his head he tried looking at me, he failed his Head rolled Back. His Long limbs splattering out on the Pavement. Dam it! “Can I call someone to pick you up?” Voice still soft. He shook his head slightly. No. “Okay that’s not a big Deal do you live anywhere near here? I could call you an Uber and bring you there.” My Voice sounded a little more desperate. He blinked slowly. “No..” his Voice was raspy and sounded worn out.

Again I sighed deep. I held my Hand out for him, “Come on Big Boy, you can crash at my place but I can´t carry you so you need to help me a little bit.” He blinked Again slowly he reached out to take my hand. As I got a grip I pulled him up at first into a sitting Position, scared he might throw up. I waited a few seconds than I helped him up on his feet. He stumbled into me but I managed to help him stay Upright.

He groaned, he was distressed, his Head spun and he is pretty worn out. Yeah I know how it feels being slightly overdosed, not from my own experience but from a few people I grew up with.

His body felt Hot and I could feel his shirt being drenched in his own sweat. He needed a shower and to take of his drenched clothes. Slowly I made my way towards the big Apartment complex dragging him with me. Thank God it wasn´t far away, finally we reached the building climbing up some stairs.

As I put my Keys into the door I felt him clinging to me as if his life depended on it. It kind of did, I mean this neighborhood isn´t peaceful. Isn´t good to people who fall asleep on the pavement. After a few moments of struggling with the door it finally opened. Gosh when will the Landlord finally repair those fucking doors. Carefully they made their Way into the small apartment. I placed him on the couch.

“Alright Big Boy, can you tell me your Name?” Voice Soft but louder than before. Blue eyes with giant orbs fixated me, Truthfully he was quite Handsome. “Rafe” I heard his hoarse Voice. “Okay” I smiled a little. “We need to get you out of those dirty Clothes. It would be best if you would take a Quick Cold Shower.” He nodded absently. I walked out of the small living room into my Bedroom, searching for a few clothes my best friend Luca always left here. It were just a pair of gray shorts and an old Band Shirt but that would do it, Just in case I put a pair of Boxer in the pile. Since Luca wouldn´t wear them again I could throw them Away. I walked back into the Living room handing him the Clothes.

“Here take those, and there is the Bathroom. It´s nothing special.” He nodded and took the clothes. Slowly like in slow motion he got up steading himself on the couch. Than he reached for the wall because he started stumbling a bit. “Don´t look the door in Case you faint and keep in Mind it should be a cold shower.” I said loud enough so he could hear me but not loud enough to be shouting. When I heard the Water in the shower I started preparing the couch for him. After I prepared the Couch I filled a big Cup with water and placed it on the small Table. I made myself a tea and waited in the Kitchen area for him to finish. As he walked by I could just confirm my statement.

He was Handsome, beautiful Face with storming blue Eyes, he was Tall and had Dirty Blonde hair. When he spotted me he looked at me intensely. I just smiled “You are ready, that’s good I prepared the Couch for you and some Water. I will hop in the shower next If you want I can throw your clothes into the washing machine.” He looked at me and nodded I took a deep inhale. “I hope the cold shower lifted the fog a little bit of your mind.” His Gaze softened. “Yes, thank you” his voice was still cracking and the small smile he gave me didn´t quite reach his eyes.

Giving him a small nod I disappeared into my small Bathroom. The old blue tiles were still a bit wet I looked around and found his small pile of clothes throwing it into the Machine with my clothes. Turning her on, on a short Program so she would be ready in 20 minutes. As I stepped into my shower letting the Hot water embrace me. So I started thinking. He doesn´t Look Poor, his clothes seem to be pretty expensive. So what is he doing here? And why did I help him, I mean yeah I couldn´t just left him there I mean I could have. Why didn´t I just called the Police? It didn´t matter anymore he would crash here tonight and be gone tomorrow. Leaving the shower I hop into an old shirt and some panties hanging up the freshly washed clothes.

As quietly as possible I walk down the apartment into the bedroom. Soft snores coming from the Man, so I stop and look at him. The way the slow sunrise aluminates his Body makes him look so peaceful so out of a fairytale. Realizing that I just stared at a Stranger while he slept I quickly kept going. Carefully I lay down in my Bed, its full of Pillows and I have a few Books laid out on the other side. Sleep came faster than expected.

 

(Rafe Pov)

A soft humming sound wakes me gently I open my Eyes. Where am I? This is not the new Mansion? Not the Hotel where I usually stay when I go out.

It´s a small living room with a weird combination of furniture but it looks Good. Kind of. It seems cozy. Slowly I sit up stretching out. Wait those are not my Clothes. What the actual fu…

“Good Morning Big Boy” I hear a soft Voice. Why does it sound so angelic? Turning around I spot a Young girl in the Kitchenette. It´s probably her apartment.

“Want some coffee?” she asks while turning around grabbing a cup. “Sure” I reply while standing up and walking towards her. As I reach her she hands me a Baby Blue Mug with Puppy´s on it. Really?

She smiles, a smile so pure I never seen before. “thanks” I answer as I take the Mug. “Milk is in the Fridge and Sugar there.” She points at a small Container. “You want some Breakfast? I suppose after your consumptions yesterday you are pretty Hungry.” She asks while I pour some sugar in the Mug. “ This would be really nice.” I give her a small smile. My Memories of yesterday are coming back slowly. Why did she take Me in? Rafe takes a moment to Look at her, really look an her.

She is small around 5`3 her (Y/H/C) is tied in a lose ponytail her Skin looks so smooth and her (Y/E/C) are trained on the food she´s making. She is not skinny but also Fat, She´s just Beautiful.

But at the same time I´m  concerned, why did she took a stranger in? What if I had Lashed out on her? “ Thank you for Yesterday. I.. Honestly I´m really grateful but you could have gotten Hurt.” I swallow the Lump in my throat. “I could have Lashed out on you or something.” She hands me a plate with scrambled Eggs and some Toast. “Come let’s sit down and eat.” She just rounds me and sits down on the couch placing her plate on the small table and mentioning me to sit back down where I slept the last night. I obliged.

“Listen I´m Fine and that’s all that counts. You didn´t Lash out. You didn´t hurt me. And I couldn´t let you stay there.” Her Voice was genuine. It feels weird having someone so lovely not fearing me. Everyone fears me. “I.. Thank you.” I was dumbfounded she was right and I shouldn´t think about what if´s. Peacefully she sits next to me eating her Breakfast so I also start eating.

And oh my I never thought scrambled Eggs could taste so good. “This really good.” I smile at her, and she smile´s Back. “Thanks” she mumbles, she is cute.

Than it struck me I don´t even know her Name. “Hey.. um.. I think you didn´t tell me your Name…so.. What is your Name?” Why am I so Nervous. “ (Y/N). My Name is (Y/N)” I felt like my Heart skipped a beat the way she smiled and how soft her voice was. We ate the rest of our Breakfast in silence. It´s weird but I didn´t want this moment to end. I don´t know when it was the last time I felt so at ease. So content with myself. After Breakfast she handed me my Clothes and I changed. When it´s time to say goodbye and go our separate ways I find longing for staying. As if she could read my mind she hands me a small piece of paper. Confused I Look at her. “My Number. In case you need anything like a place to crash or something. Or just want to talk. I´m here.” Her gentle smile mesmerizes me and I can´t help it but embrace her in my arms hugging her. Carefully or she might break. “Thank you so much. I will defiantly reach out to you.” I say a little to enthuasstic. When I realise hear I hear a small giggle. I´m making my way down the stairs notifying my Dad I won´t be home for a few Days. Then massaging my dealer that I need some new Stuff.

After that I stare at the small pice of Paper, alright nothing to lose. It's late when I send her a Message, just a basic Hi.

[hawkinsindiana]

i should go

ALMOST PARADISE: PART TWO - CHAPTER FOURTEEN OF FIFTEEN

pairing: steve harrington x henderson!reader

word count: 2.5k

a/n: these are scary and confusing times. so here ya go. i hope everyone’s staying safe and healthy, i love you all <3

masterlist

You don’t know why you thought things were going to get better. You should’ve known better; you’ve never been able to catch a break, even before all of this happened.

The dreams have been getting worse, and more frequent; now, they’re about the kids too. You’ll be back in those tunnels, the ones crawling with vines, and their voices will bounce against the walls. They’re calling out, desperately crying for you to help them, but they’re never found. 

It feels like you run in circles for hours on end, throat going hoarse from screaming their names until you wake, pebbles of sweat dripping from your brow and body frozen in terror. 

Those seem to scare you more - the ones about them. Because it’s your duty to protect them, and you’ve come so close to failing so many times. 

Those ones never let you sleep; you’re left to lie there until morning, fear bubbling inside that something’s happened while you were asleep, thinking they’re gone now and there’s nothing you could’ve done.

Your brother hears it every time. When your careful footsteps approach his door at those ungodly hours, and the door creaks open just a touch so you can quiet your restless mind; Dustin’s always there, safe and sound underneath the sheets, Tews tucked against his feet.

You’ve done that six times now - he figures he should ask what that’s about. Maybe he’ll bring it up to Steve, see if the older boy knows anything. 

But with the town buzzing with holiday cheer, they’ve barely seen you around. Extra shifts at Radio Shack have filled your schedule as the people of Hawkins flock downtown for gifts, especially now that Bob’s no longer there for his usual hours. 

Dustin thinks you should take a break while you’re off from school. He can tell that it’s exhausting when you come home and don’t have the energy to return Steve’s call, but you always have the same answer:

“I need to keep myself busy anyways.”

And Steve - he understands the circumstances. But that doesn’t make it hurt less when Dustin has to deflect and apologize on your behalf.

God, you hope it’s not too much on him-

Your mother snaps you from your trance, tapping the phone against your arm before placing it in your hand, “It’s for you.”

You hadn’t even heard it ring. You don’t know how long you’ve been standing here, shoulder pressed to the wall and eyes focused on the evening news.

You answer it with a sigh, “Yeah?” A perky voice flows easily through the receiver, unfazed by your delivery.

“Hey, it’s Stacy, from the dance committee? We’ve got an emergency over here.”

Mike and Lucas thought it might be a good idea for you to help organize and plan the Snow Ball. Since the group of middle schoolers would be attending this year, they wanted your help to ensure that it was the best one thrown yet. You weren’t so keen on the idea, until you remembered how lame it was a few years back when you went.

“I don’t have to come down there, do I? I thought we took care of everything last night.”

The girl nervously laughs on the other end; you can hear the music from the gym echoing in the room. It almost makes it hard to listen.

“Turns out we need three more bottles of soda. Simon only got five. Since you’re the only one with a car-”

“Yeah, of course,” You interrupt, “I’ll grab some and bring it over. Be there in a jif.”

After ending the call, you grab your cash off the counter on your way to the bathroom. 

“Hey Dustin, I gotta bolt. Can you find-” 

You’re greeted with the sight of your brother, putting the finishing touches on his look for the night - a can of Farrah Fawcett hairspray in one hand. You can’t help the laugh that bursts from you. 

“What, Mom buy you that?”

His head snaps to you in an instant, cheeks turning bright red as you lean your weight against the doorframe. The product’s out of sight immediately afterwards, quickly shoved behind his back, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Dustin swallows harshly at your squinting eyes, arms folding over your chest as you study him. You decide not to ask.

“Uh huh.”

A few tense, silent moments pass as he waits for you to comment further; he hates that smirk on your face, “Did you, uh, need something?”

You clear your throat, shifting on your feet before replying, “Yeah I gotta get to the school now, can you find another ride? Maybe Mrs. Wheeler can come take you?”

Dustin’s expression grows confused, “What are you talking about? I already have a ride.”

Your brow raises in surprise, “You do.”

He shrugs, “Yeah, Steve’s takin’ me.”

And then it clicks; your grin grows. 

“Oh… okay. I’ll see you afterwards then,” You go to grab the door on your way out, but not before adding something else with a wink.

“Don’t worry,” You say, “I won’t tell anyone. And keep this open a touch, yeah? I’d hate for you to suffocate on the fumes.”

—

The gym’s loud and filled with prepubescent teenagers. You can’t wait to get out of here, back to the comforting security of your home.

That feeling intensifies when you lock eyes with who’s standing behind the punch bowl; you already feel yourself retracting inwards before a conversation even begins.

“I didn’t realize you were coming tonight,” Nancy speaks first, letting a small smile spread over her face as you approach the beverage station. 

She seems so much lighter, so much happier since you last saw her. You’re glad that she’s been able to finally move on, even if it is at Steve’s expense. Nobody deserves to be trapped in a relationship they don’t want to be in; you can’t blame her for that. You just wish it hadn’t happened the way it did.

“Oh, I’m not,” You answer, gesturing to the liters of soda you carry in your arms; they’ve started to grow tired from the weight, “I’m just dropping these off.”

Nancy’s expression drops a touch as you place the bottles on the bleachers behind her, “I figured you’d be bringing your brother.”

You brush the condensation off onto your jeans, “No, uh, Steve did that already.”

Confusion is evident as she grows speechless, turning back to face you; the expression she has on her face is enough to explain her emotions - that doesn’t seem like something he’d do.

You laugh at her, “Yeah, I know. Trust me, no one’s more shocked than I am.”

Nancy shakes her head in awe as your back straightens, and she chews on her lip as she debates bringing it up. She decides to.

“Remember when we came to this thing?”

Your eyes move to see her, leaning back against the table, knuckles turning white as she grips the edge. A scoff escapes your mouth as you nod, “How could I forget? Jimmy Hawthorne spilled punch all over my dress twenty minutes in.”

Nancy laughs at the memory, remembering the priceless look on his face as you threatened him, right in the middle of the dance floor, “God, it took my mom all night to get that stain out.”

The silence between you that follows her comment isn’t… uncomfortable. If anything, it’s another step in the right direction. But you still chose to retreat; it’s almost too much, seeing her look at you like that again.

“I guess I’ll see you around, Nance,” You mutter before moving past her, jingling the car keys in between your fingers. All she musters back in response is a wave as she’s swarmed by an incoming gaggle of girls.

The cold air invigorates you as you exit the school building; you don’t know how much longer you could’ve been cooped up in there, surrounded by all the memories. And as you’re making your way to your mother’s car, that’s when you spot him.

“What the hell are you doin’ here?” You raise your voice while you approach, arms crossing over your chest. Steve’s attention is brought up to see you, walking across the parking lot, a lazy smile growing over your rosy cheeks.

“I could ask you the same thing, Henderson,” The corner of Steve’s mouth quirks up as your brow raises at his response, “I asked you first.”

He sighs before running the hem of his sweater between his fingers, “Oh, I figured I should stick around just in case. You never know...”

You snort lightly after Steve allows his sentence to trail off, “Jesus, you’re starting to sound like me. I’m supposed to be the protective one.”

“There are worse things to be,” Steve’s focus is gentle as he watches you come to his side; he’s appreciating every single little detail about this moment. 

The snow is just right - there’s enough of it to create a picturesque scene around you. The muffled love ballads that echo from the school make him feel warm in his chest - he thinks about you when he hears them. The streetlights illuminate your face enough for him to notice when the bridge of your nose scrunches at his words, “Aw, I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“The kids,” You nudge Steve before your gaze drifts to him; your heart skips when you catch him already peering your way, “They’re making you soft, Steven.”

Steve’s grin spreads wider as your laugh fills the space between, rolling his eyes as he falsely acts annoyed by your observation, “Great, just what I need.”

“Oh, also,” Your tone makes him meet your mischievous look, and it ignites a bit of anxiety in him, “Farrah Fawcett, really? You thought I wouldn’t figure that one out?”

Steve grows shocked by your deduction in record time, further spurring on your joy; it almost counter-balances his embarrassment.

“Relax, your secret’s safe with me,” You say, and Steve just shakes his head, “You and your brother are so dead if anyone finds out.”

You bring your fingers to your lips, faking to lock them before throwing the invisible key over your shoulder. And then it hits him - he hasn’t seen you since that night, after the funeral. That night where you almost kissed him.

”Why aren’t you in your car?” 

Your words catch him off guard, and he simply shrugs in response, “The snow’s nice, dontcha think?”

“I guess, but Christ, aren’t you cold?” You ask Steve as you shiver and pull your hooded sweatshirt tighter against your frame. 

He inhales before going to answer, but he decides that his words aren’t enough. His arm gets extended outwards before he gestures for you to move closer, “Come on, get over here.”

You feel your heart beat in your throat as a misty breath expels itself from you and into the night sky. It’s almost like the air gets thicker the closer you get to Steve, but you can’t stop yourself from tucking your body into his side. 

His arm drapes heavily over your shoulder as soon as you’ve settled, and you decide to pull him closer with the limb that would’ve gotten trapped between you. Steve emits a light laugh at the feeling of your arm wrapping around his middle, tugging him in further; you both relish in the heat that emanates from the other.

A few silent moments pass - neither of you has the courage to comment, even though both of your minds are running wild with what to say. 

Steve shifts beside you, adjusting his feet against the parking lot pavement. The action prompts you to spin your focus in his direction and you freeze as he does the same - his eyes landing on your gentle expression.

Seeing Steve look at you like that makes you feel like you’re floating - the admiration in his eyes is enough to silence any doubts you had about… well, whatever this is. Your heart thuds against your ribs when he somehow inches even closer and you tighten your hold on him after he does so, hand curling around the material of his sweater. 

You want to pull your gaze away from him, because fuck it’s getting to be too much; the way he feels by you side, the way you slid into him to protect yourself from the chilly December evening, the way that neither of you can find any words to describe how you’re feeling.

But then it clicks inside your brains. And maybe, you think, nothing needs to be said at all.

You lean in first, and it doesn’t take Steve much longer to react and do the same. He grows surprised when you pause, mere millimeters away from meeting your lips, brow creasing as your nose brushes his.

Even though you’ve been craving this very moment for about a year, you can’t shake the thought that hovers like a cloud over your psyche. This changes everything. There’s no going back if you continue down this road - it almost makes you afraid, no matter how much you’ve wanted things to be different.

It dissipates quickly, as Steve doesn’t give you much time to ponder; he takes the leap. His lips are pressed to yours. And it’s just like the first time you fell for him - every doubt you’ve ever had about Steve vanishes instantly. 

The kiss is so soft and so filled with emotion that you feel like you could cry. His presence is overwhelming your senses and you melt against his palm that slides up your jaw, past where the bruises faded. 

You can’t process when your fingers begin to card through his hair, pulling him closer to you because you’re desperate to let him feel everything that’s been churning inside for over a year. You’re still so in love with him that when he finally pulls away, you feel like he took a piece of you with him.

The music starts to fade and your little bubble along with it; you struggle to find something to say. 

You don’t know how long you’ve waited to be able to do that. None of your daydreams could have ever compared to this; you’re almost lost in the moment. All of that heartache, all of that pain - it’s finally been released.

Neither of you knows what to do.

But then Steve clears his throat, his thoughts jumbled inside his head because holy shit - he wasn’t expecting it to feel like that. 

The silence afterwards is deafening. Your breaths fan against the other’s rose tinted cheeks, still barely inches apart. 

“I should uh,” You mutter, fingers trailing down his arms, slowly pulling yourself away from his warmth. You’re suddenly overwhelmed with far too many emotions, all of which you can’t even begin to decipher while standing here in front of him. 

Steve grips your hands in his as you lean back; he knows what you’re going to say, but God, he wishes that you didn’t have to.

“I should go,” You finish. It shatters his heart a bit to hear you say it, but he only nods. 

“Yeah,” He manages, “I’m sure your mom wants you back.”

You swallow harshly before your touch leaves him completely. Steve can still feel where your fingers were pressed on his palms - it lingers as you turn to leave, and begin your walk to your car.

—

taglist: @stevebabey / @mrs-skywalker / @hannarudick / @crazycookiecrumbles / @hellisateenageheather / @alewifex / @l0ve-0f-my-life / @naomiiiiiiiiiii04 / @daddystevee / @thecaptainsgingersnap / @let-the-imaginationflow / @asianravenpuff / @im-a-stranger-thing​ / @mikariell95​ / @pilunb​ / @harringtherin​ / @royalestrellas​ / @ultrunning​ / @buggs177 / @poutfull​ / @yoheyyosup​ / @duchessdaisybat​ / @janieavalos / @sassisaluxury​ / @beththebubbly​ / @i-bitch-you-bitch​ / @captainstilinskis​ / @juliebean247​ / @im-nada / @whatabeautifulsurrender​ / @rexorangecouny​ / @pass-me-jeez-it / @ahoy-scoops-troop / @halefirewarrior​ / @jointhehunt67 / @wallacetdog​ / @ketchuplukehemmo​ / @m-a-r-i-n-t-p / @fangirl485 / @emmegirl827 / @lookalivesunshine-x​ / @elite4cekalyma​ / @marjoherbo​ / @just-my-fandom / @idumpyourgrass​ / @alafolieee​ / @mochminnie​ / @phantomalchemist​ / @dustyblueboo​ / @alonewolfsblog​ / @ggclarissa​ / @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​ / @bippityboppitybabe​

if you wanna be added to the taglist, just lemme know!

[troop-scoop]

Mistakes & Regrets XXII

Summary: When a trip to your Dad’s hometown of Hawkins goes wrong, you end up in the year 1983, and have to learn how to cope with being stuck in the past.

Pairing: Steve Harrington / Future!Reader (like, a really slow burn)

Warnings: Swearing, violence

• • • 

It was pretty much known by everybody who you were friends with that Steve hated your driving. And by hate, you meant it. 

He was genuinely shocked when the DMV gave you your license. You were always going over the speed limit, and taking sharp turns. His least favorite thing you did? Not slowing down at bumps or potholes.

So, you were hoping he wouldn’t wake up while you were driving. Dustin, Max, Mike and Steve were all crowded in the back seat of the car, but Lucas was next to you with the map, even though you knew your way to this farm because you went there to get a pumpkin for Will a few days before Halloween. 

“Y/n?” 

You looked in the rearview mirror, seeing Steve turned and looking at Mike. You redirected your attention to the road, choosing not to let him know that you were the one driving. 

“No don’t touch it” Dustin told him. Though you couldn’t see what he was telling Steve not to touch. “Hey, buddy. . .” Dustin shushed a bit. 

You continued driving, occasionally glancing at the map even if it was so dark you couldn’t really see anything. 

“It’s okay, you put up a good fight. He kicked your ass, but you put up a good fight. You’re okay.”

“Okay, you’re gonna keep straight for a half a mile, then make a left on Mount Sinai.” You nodded in response to Lucas’ instructions. 

“What’s going on?”

You didn’t want to look at Steve but you did anyway. Quickly sparing a look over your shoulder before turning back to the front. 

“Oh, my God.” 

“Hey, relax, she has her license.” Dustin tried to soothe as if Steve was an infant. 

“Yeah, and she barely passed the driving test.” Mike pointed out. You were gonna kill Nancy for coming with you to the DMV. 

“That still counts.” Max and Lucas both pointed out. 

“Steve, dude, need you to chill-”

“Oh, my God!”  He repeated, now fully awake and realizing the situation he was in, crowded around a bunch of middle schoolers with you driving. 

“They were gonna leave you behind.”

You could feel the stress rising in the back seat as Steve continued to repeat himself as he sat up, with Dustin trying to calm him down. 

“Fuck it.” You muttered, speeding up. Your nerves were getting the best of you. You wanted Eleven to be okay, you wanted Will to be okay. 

“Oh, my God! No! Whoa! Stop the car. Slow down!”

You tried to tune them out, with Mike, Dustin and Steve all yelling in the back seat, and Max looking more annoyed by the second.

“Shut up!” She yelled at them “She needs to focus!” 

You were sure it wasn’t a very pleasant way to wake up after getting your ass kicked by a racist. You saw the road coming up and took a sharp turn, which resulted in the squeaking of Billy’s tires and Steve screaming even louder. 

You came to a sudden spot when Mike yelled that you were there at the hole. You remained quiet, sniffling a little bit and turning the engine off. 

Getting out of the car you went to the drunk, unlocking it and letting the kids get what they needed to set up. 

You grabbed the gun, tucking it into your jeans. Taking the red bandana and swimming goggles, you looked over to the side of the car where Steve fell onto the dirt, loosing his balance 

The kids got their goggles and bandanas, having fully understood you when you said that the atmosphere down there was toxic. Because it was just an expansion of the Upside Down. 

Walking over to Steve you handed him the bandana and goggles, knowing you didn’t really need them. If you were immune to the atmosphere a year ago, it wouldn’t really change now. 

He tried to get your attention as you walked away but you couldn’t look at him. The tears felt like they were coming back every time you did.

You’d never let him know that you cried the entire time you were gathering things to get in the car. You were practically sobbing while going about your business, barely making it out of the driveway because your vision was blurry from your tears. 

You stood at the hood of the car while Mike came over with a canister of gasoline and the rope, bending down to tie it to the front bumper. 

“You got it?” You asked, wiping away a bit of snot. You hated crying, and the after effects. 

You could hear Steve yelling about how he said no to this plan, that he wasn’t going to allow it. But if you had to go down there alone, you would. 

“Yeah.” He said quietly. “You okay?” 

“Peachy.” You responded with little enthusiasm, which Mike picked up on, but refused to say anything. 

Walking back to the trunk you grabbed Steve’s arm, catching his attention as he took your backpack from Dustin.

“If you’re not with me, you are my enemy.” You said in a gentle and joking manner, only getting a confused grin from him. “You won’t understand that. . . for a long time.” He looked even more confused as you walked over to the hole as Mike dropped the rope down into it. 

Steve and Dustin quickly followed after you. It smelled familiar. And you could feel how cold it was already. Taking a deep breath you looked at the boys, who gave you an uncertain look through their goggles. 

Stepping closer to the hole. Steve grabbed your wrist, stopping you from moving. “What are you doing?” 

“Going down there? To commit interdimensional arson?” 

“Why don’t you have any of this?” Steve gestured to his bandana and pair of goggles he’d gotten on within seconds. 

“I don’t really need it.” You said softly, pulling your wrist away and jumping down into the hole. You landed with your knees bent and in total darkness.

You froze up. It felt like it was all rushing back, and you lowered yourself onto your knees, the gooey feeling on your jeans also familiar and not uncomfortable. You could remember the sound of rain, and yelling out for your dad, having regretted running as soon as the storm started. And you tried to find your way back, but you stepped over one rock, and all of a sudden you fell into what felt exactly like this.

You remembered having your hoodie on, and your hair up. Your shoes had been soaked from the rain. You still had them somewhere in your apartment. A pair of damaged black vans. 

You could suddenly remember taking your first shower at the motel, watching as the dirt, blood and sweat went down the drain. You hadn’t been able to remember your first night at the motel since you’d been there. 

You remembered taking the shower after buying a completely new outfit, from a store, just so you could feel comfortable. You remembered the odd looks you got from everyone, and staying quiet after you saw the date in a newspaper. You’d put it together far quicker than you’d imagined. You’d enrolled yourself into the highschool quickly, got a wardrobe together, and tried to act normal. You remembered all of it now. 

“Y/n? Hey, c’mon, look at me, are you okay?” Steve grabbed your face, making you look at him. But all you could see was his bruised forehead and his eyes through the tinted goggles. 

“Yeah.” You answered simply. You could suddenly remember the last time your dad hugged you, and how tight it had been. Like he’d known that something was going to happen, or that it’d be the last time. But you hadn’t. 

“I’m fine.” 

Steve helped you onto your feet, and you reached for whoever’s hand was closest, and that just so happened to be Steve’s. 

You started your trek down the tunnels, every step reminding you of what happened. You pretty much zoned out on everything. Ignoring everything that was said and remembering how quiet it had been except for those things that you always hid from. You were good at hiding as a little kid, and even now. Lockdown drills didn’t help.

But you did snap out of it when you heard screaming. Turning back you saw Mike and Lucas run back, and you went after them. Mike was yelling for Dustin and when you came to a large opening, you saw Dustin on the ground, coughing.

Kneeling down you had a grip on his shoulders as he coughed. He had a grip on you too, using you as a bit of balance. 

He stopped and looked up at you, seeing how worried you were. “I’m okay.” 

It was anticlimatic. 

You nodded a bit. “Okay.” You agreed, grabbing the end edge of his bandana and pulling it over the nose of his scuba mask and helping him back up. You walked with Dustin most of the way after that, a hand on his shoulder and the other on Mike’s as they followed Steve’s lead. 

“Alright, Wheeler. I think we found your hub.” 

Steve was right, the other tunnels all leading to this one spot. That everyone shined their flashlight on. 

And instead of a constant feeling of reliving that short month in the Upside Down, you took the gas canister that Mike had been carrying for you. “Let’s drench it.” He spoke as you uncapped it. Everyone did the same, With Lucas spraying the higher walls of the hub while the rest of you got the lower parts, and the floor. The smell was overwhelming, like a gas station but a thousand times worse. And usually you liked the smell.

“Alright, c’mon. Everybody get back.” 

You looked up at Steve, seeing that he was gesturing back to the way you’d come. You dropped your canister, and went to the tunnel.

You were all gathered together, and Steve looked at you. “You still have my lighter?” Nodding, you reached into the pocket of his jacket and handed it to him. 

“Alright, you guys ready?”

“Yeah.” You answered. With everyone else answering as well. 

He opened the lighter and ignited it, the small flame lighting up a small area, before he tossed it into the puddle of gasoline. What you’d all poured into it lit up 

The vines on the floor began to make sounds and flail in the air, almost as if it was in pain. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care if it was in pain. 

“Go, go, go!” Steve shouted. You grabbed Lucas, Dustina and Mike who all took longer than Max, who took off running.

You pushed them all ahead of you and began to run yourself, with Steve behind you. You all ran, not really caring if you were cautious at this point. 

Steve grabbed onto your arm and started to pull you along with him when he almost passed you.

He let go of you when he made sure you weren’t completley behind him or the kids, but right along side Mike. 

You grabbed onto Mike’s hand, trying to make sure you didn’t lose him or he didn’t get lost.

Mike tripped on one of the vines and fell onto the ground. “Steve!” You shouted. While Mike screamed ‘help’ 

They came running back, with Lucas going to the other side of Mike as Steve brought the bat down onto the vine. You pulled Mike away and grabbed his face. “Are you okay?” 

He gave an urgent nod as you helped him stand back up. 

Before any of you could make a run for it again, you heard the familiar growling from a demodog as Dustin liked to call it. 

You still held onto Mike, an arm around his shoulders, holding him close like you would if he were your own brother. You also had an arm out, acting as a shield for Lucas, as Dustin stepped forward. 

You didn’t feel scared, just anxious, with your heart beating a million miles a second, having had both Dustin and Mike fall on the way at some point. Mike had his flashlight pointed at Dart, but his other hand had a death grip on the back of your shirt. 

“Dart.” Dustin spoke, taking a small step forward. 

In unison all of you started speaking, telling him to get back or that it was a bad idea. “Sh! Trust me, please.” He continued to walk over to the thing. Both you and Steve shared a look as your grip on Mike stayed the same. 

The four kids were family to you your entire life, they would have done anything to protect you just like your dad would have done for their kids. So you’d do anything to protect them now. 

“It’s me, It’s Dustin, You remember me?” He asked, kneeling down in front of him, his goggles and mask off. “Will you let us pass?”

  Dart opened his mouth and growled, showing off the tiny teeth decorating the petal like flaps. You pulled Mike closer and grabbed Lucas’ hand who stepped behind you. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I”m sorry about the storm cellar.”

“I’m not.” You murmured to yourself. 

“That was a pretty douchey thing to do. You hungry? Yeah?” Dustin took his backpack off, reaching into it and pulled out a three musketeers. 

“He’s insane.” Lucas mumbled. You only nodded in agreement. While Steve told him to shut up. 

“I’ve got our favorite. See? Nougat.” Dustin began to unwrap the candy bar. “Look at that. Yummy. Here, all right? Eat up, buddy.”

Dustin gestured for you all to go past Dart without looking at at any of you. Steve went first, then Max, and then you, Mike and Lucas. Mike and you still having a tight grip on each other and Lucas using you as a bit of a shield, and you didn’t blame him. 

You all stopped once past Dart and Dustin, and saw as Dart looked back at Dustin. “Goodbye, buddy.” Dustin told him, puling his mask and goggles back on, before turning to the rest of you and following. 

Things just kept popping up however, as when you’d barely gotten far from Dart, the tunnel shook, and you could hear distant growling from multiple demodogs. 

“They’re coming.” Mike realized, having taken your hand after you’d let him go. “Run!” He yelled with everyone instantly following what he said and running towards the rope. 

Once there, Steve helped Max up onto the ground, then Lucas, as well as Mike and Dustin. 

“Shit.” You mumbled, hearing the demodogs get closer. You pulled the gun from your Jeans as Steve stepped in front of you, bending his knees enough so you could aim over his shoulder. 

And much to your surprise, instead of attacking, they went around the two of you, acting as if you were just rocks in their way. 

Steve turned and grabbed you with his free hand, keeping you close and out of their way as the two of you watched them run. 

“Okay. . .” Steve mumbled, looking down at you. “Your turn.” He told you dropping the bat and leaning down to grab you from around the knees, and lifting you up to the rope. 

You had a firm grip on it and climbed the couple of inches you needed before Mike and Max grabbed you, helping to pull you out, and then you did the same for Steve, pulling him out as he tossed the bat to the side. 

The headlights of Billy’s car grew brighter for a few seconds, forcing you to shield your eyes. But it was gone as soon as it had come. 

• • • 

Stepping out of the car you were met with Billy sitting on the porch, and the door opening as Joyce came out. The worry on her face was unmistakable. 

“Oh, my God.” He muttered, coming over to you and hugging you. You were both sweaty and gross, but you understood the reaction. She’d expected for you all to be in house when she came back with Will. “You’re okay?” She asked, pulling away and holding your face in her hands. 

You nodded, forcing a tired smile. “I’m alive.” You couldn’t say you were okay, because you knew you weren't. But you were alive, and that was enough for you. 

“Y/n!” Looking over Joyce’s shoulder you saw Will, Jonathan and Nancy coming out as well. Smiling you walked over to Will who came over and hugged you. 

“Hey,” You greeted, hugging him back. 

“It wanted me to kill you.” 

“I know, kid. But you didn’t.” You reminded him, pulling away and smiling down at him. You could see your brother in him. The smile and the tired look in his eyes. “It’s an okay night.” 

“Hey, guys.” You looked at Nancy and Jonathan who smiled back. Eleven and Hopper got back at the same time as you, So Mike and her had gone to each other, and everyone stood around, exhausted and ready to crash. 

“Nancy, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas can stay here for the night, to get some rest.” Joyce told them. “Y/n, Steve, you’re welcome to stay too.” 

Looking over at Steve you could see how exhausted he was, and looking over to Joyce you looked down at Will, who you still had an arm around. “We. . . can get a ride to my apartment. We both need showers.” You told her. 

She nodded and reached over to you, a hand on your cheek that you subconsciously leaned a bit into. 

“I’ll drive them.” Hopper offered to Joyce. 

You nodded a bit, looking over to Steve. “We’ll get the BMW tomorrow morning, yeah?” He nodded in response. 

“We should go now, before he passes out here.” You told Hopper, but really, you could see how Steve was looking at Billy. 

“Let’s go.” 

• • • 

@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers​ @nxncywheeler​ @yllwtaxi​ @songofcosplay​ @potatopooper05​ @cheesecakeisapie @robinsdolan​ @yall-wildin-like-siriusly​  @bisexualpears​ @ilovebucketbarnes​ @random-thoughts-003​ @mochminnie  @abbyg217​​ @stevexscoops​​ @cashmereandtears​​ @iris-suoh​​ @supred12 @ohmyitsfaith​ @beyond-the-gone​

[sandalwoodhusbands]

watching cityscapes turn to dust 

"Why don't you say my name anymore?"

"I do. Not often, but I do."

"But why?"

"Because i'm afraid that once I start saying it, I will never stop."

There's silence. And then-

"Would that be so bad?"

part I - Italy

Before

Somewhere in Italy, August 2018

“Damn.” Yann lets out a low whistle to his right.

And damn, indeed. Lucas has seen recording studios in his life; not many, admittedly, one when he visited San Francisco when he was 16, and the ones him and the guys have used in the past to record their last two albums, but he’s sure they usually don’t look like this . Like a very expensive, very unaffordable beach house.

“This is where we’re staying?”

“This is where we’re staying.”

Lucas grips his suitcase tighter, eyes roaming across the red brick walls and rustic columns before they settle on the elegant picnic table tucked in a corner. What even the fuck is Italy, really. He feels Eliott’s restlessness behind him without having to turn around, and it’s weirdly endearing, how tall, dark and handsome Eliott Demaury is so intimidated by all this.

“What the fuck is my life,” Eliott mumbles. “What the fuck is my life.”

Lucas snorts before turning to look at him. He sees Eliott’s wild eyes staring back at him, hands on the straps of the guitar on his back and duffle bag by his feet, his hair a mess from brushing his hands through it on the way here. And god, if the Italian sun doesn’t look good on him, on his golden skin and filtering through his chestnut hair, and Lucas has no clue how he’s supposed to survive this. He doesn’t.

“You good over there?” He asks him, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eliott waves him off. The look of disbelief in his eyes betrays him. “I just- this is where the people with more than a fiver in their back pocket record their music?”

“You’d have to ask those people.” Eliott gives him a look and gestures around them. Lucas huffs out a laugh. “No, I don’t know. This is a first time for me too, I’m just as impressed. But they say it’s easy to get used to the good things in life, right?” He shrugs before picking back his suitcase. “Well, you coming?”

“I’m coming.”

***

When the alarm in his phone wakes him up, it’s barely light out and the sheets are cold and tangled around his bare legs. Lucas buries his face on the pillow, groaning, before rolling on his back and sitting down in bed. This part he hates, the whole having to wake up at dawn and not murder anyone on his way to his second cup of coffee thing, and he sighs once more before standing up on tired legs.

He throws on a pair of old sweatpants and a black hoodie, pulling the hood over his head. Then, with his phone on one hand and his favorite pair of drumsticks tucked in the elastic band of his sweatpants, he leaves the room in search for the kitchen.

“Morning.” A voice behind him startles him, making him almost drop the packet of instant coffee on the kitchen counter.

He turns around, a gasp hanging from his lips when he finds Eliott’s lean figure sitting on top of the kitchen table. He eyes the cup of coffee Eliott is quietly stirring between his hands, and wonders if he’s the reason why there’s not enough milk for another whole mug. As beautiful as this place is, it seriously lacks in the food department.

“Oh, hey.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” Eliott says with a frown. He fiddles with the cup between his hands, avoiding Lucas’ gaze. “The guys are already waiting on room 2. They want to start with a full rehearsal first.”

Lucas places the mug on the counter before walking over to Eliott. “Hey,” he says. “Hey, are you okay?”

Eliott shrugs.

It pinches his heart, the sight before him.

Everything is dimmed out; the washed out white walls, the grey curtains, furniture all made with wood and the morning sun not quite out yet, only a trail of cold light coming through the tall windows. Eliott sitting in the middle of everything, and Lucas is so used to seeing him light up the whole room, that the hunch of his shoulders and anxious look in his eyes overwhelm him. Eliott looks small right now, despite having a head on Lucas, almost like he blends in with the sadness in the room, and Lucas hates it.

“Having second thoughts?” Lucas asks jokingly, but he thinks the worry bleeds through his voice anyway.

Eliott’s eyes widen marginally at that.

“No! No, that’s not it. It’s not. I’m just, fuck,” Eliott lowers the mug on the table next to his hip. He gives a sigh before hiding his face between his hands. “I’m just so fucking scared, Lucas.” His voice sounds muffled, nothing but a whisper between his fingers, but Lucas hears it perfectly. The hitch between words. The tremor in his lips. “I’m so scared.”

"Eliott, what?" Lucas raises a tentative hand and rests it on Eliott’s shoulder, unsure of what to do. “What are you talking about?”

“This…” Eliott starts, rubbing his face before uncovering his face. It’s all red now, his grey eyes all glassy. “This whole thing. I’m so scared. And I feel so guilty, all the time. I’m scared I will look like I’m trying to steal Arthur’s place, and then everyone will hate me. Your fans. You. Arthur.”

And Lucas is unsure of everything, except of the fact that Eliott is breaking his heart.

“Fuck, Eliott-”

“And I like you guys so much. I went to the try-outs because I told myself I had nothing to lose, that if anything, I would get to play in front of professionals for the first time in my life. But suddenly you were saying you were keeping me and next thing I know is I’m here.” Eliott shrugs helplessly. “It’s easy to get used to the good things in life, you said, and I’m so scared to get used to this.”

“Fucking hell, Eliott. I want you to listen clearly. Look at me.” He squeezes Eliott’s shoulder, catching his attention. Eliott looks at him through teary eyes, and Lucas has to bite the inside of his cheek to avoid reaching forward and catching the salty drops with his thumb. “We like you too. You’re one of us now, I want you to understand that. I need you to understand that. After Arthur’s accident everything felt so hopeless. Arthur didn’t leave his bed in a week. I thought it would end him. That it would end us.” He takes a deep breath. “But it didn’t. I was scared, too, of the possibility of someone else taking Arthur’s place, at the beginning. But now you’re here, and nothing has ever felt this right. We won’t hate you. Arthur won’t hate you. In fact, I’ve heard he’s over the moon with you. We all are, actually. You didn’t hear this from me, but… I think he has a crush on you.” He bites back the, I know I do.

Eliott lets out a wet laugh and punches him in the shoulder. “Shut up, idiot.”

Lucas stumbles back for effect with a breathless oof before stepping closer. He gives Eliott a small grin, tentative fingers drumming against his knees and pressing down on the bone. “But I’m serious. We love you here. You’re one of us now, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

He presses once more on Eliott’s knees, the material soft and comfortable under his fingertips. He pulls back then, and Eliott shoots him a small, grateful smile.

“Lucas-”

Lucas shakes his head with a warm smile of his own. “Don’t mention it.”

Eliott tilts his head to one side with a frown on his face, and before Lucas can ask what’s wrong, there’s arms around his waist and a warm cheek pressed to the top of his head. Lucas freezes for a moment before looping his own arms around Eliott’s back. “No, Lucas, but I will.” Eliott whispers. “I will. Thank you.”

Lucas smiles a little in return, saying nothing. He nods against Eliott’s chest, because he heard him. He did. But no more words are needed.

***

“Okay guys, from the beginning now. Eliott, can you turn your amp a little higher?”

Eliott bends hesitant to adjust the volume control and strums out a G chord.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

Lucas ducks his head behind the drum set, smile half-hidden by a cymbal as he watches Eliott’s cheeks turn a faint shade of pink. It’s so unfair, how Eliott feels so insecure under all that determination shining inside his eyes. Lucas wishes he would trust himself a little more.

“Okay. On 3, 2, 1-”

And the room explodes in a wave of sounds and one hundred notes playing at the same time. The low hum of the bass pairs with two guitars, Lucas carrying the rhythm with the drums. He loses himself to it, eyes closed, his hands moving automatically to the beat of the song coming from his headphones. This is his favorite part; his own personal haven. Music.

He’s already panting. There’s sweat forming at  his hairline, but his heart still picks up when he realizes he’s close to his favorite part of the song. He hits the drums in a quick succession, all fast and hard and raw, grinning to himself at how fucking good it sounds, lifting his head to look at Yann, who’s already smirking down at him, because they know each other so well that even the faintest cue clues them in. And then his eyes move to Eliott-

Who looks like every single one of Lucas’ wet dreams.

Lucas wants to eat him alive. Wants him to play with his body the way his fingers play with the strings of his guitar. Lick the sweat pooled under his lower lip and bite the side of his neck, run his fingers through his messy hair, straddle his lap before getting him off that oversized black t-shirt and just fucking kiss him everywhere.

There's concentration in Eliott’s face as he plucks the strings at a beat beat that makes Lucas feel dizzy, and he’s just standing there with a guitar in his hands, one leg slightly propped up to support it. His gym shorts have ridden up at that knee, giving Lucas the opportunity to see a tattoo peeking out of it. His grip on the drum sticks tightens as Eliott wets his lips with his tongue, and then Eliott is tilting his head up. And their eyes meet.

He loses grip of one of the sticks. He watches with wide eyes how it flies off his hand and against the wall behind him. He’s opening his mouth to say sorry when an excruciating metallic sound breaks through the room.

“Fuck!” Eliott is looking down at his guitar in horror. “Fuck, I am so sorry! Christ, fuck!”

“Eliott-”

“No, fuck. It sounded so good. I fucked it up. I’m sorry.”

“Eliott, dude. It’s no big deal.” Basile moves to place a hand on Eliott’s shoulder. “If only you knew the number of times Lucas has accidentally hit me in the face with a drum stick-”

“Yes. Accidentally.” Lucas cuts in, and it makes Eliott turn his head to look at him. His eyes are so sad, and Lucas is drowning. “But Bas is right, we all fuck up all of the time.” He glances over his shoulder with a pointed look. “In fact, if you hadn’t fucked up, I would have. Look where my drum stick is.”

“See? It’s alright, dude. Embrace your mistakes, because there’ll be plenty. From Lucas, especially. I’m surprised he hasn’t hit you with one stray stick in the past two months yet.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up Yann.” Lucas rolls his eyes, before turning to Eliott with a tentative grin. “It’s because I like your face. Unlike others’.”

Eliott grins back, a little bashfully and a lot more tamer than Lucas is used to from him, but he’ll take it for now. He’ll take whatever Eliott wants to give.

He can already see it becoming a problem.

“Thanks, guys. I just- yeah. I freaked out for a second.” Eliott huffs awkwardly. "It won't happen again."

"You're fine, dude." Basile consoles him.

Yann nods in understatement too, squeezing Eliott's shoulder once before returning back to his position, so Lucas bends to grab the wayward stick, getting back into position himself.

And then the glass door opens.

“Yo, Eliott!” Arthur shouts from the doorway. “You okay?”

Eliott startles at the mention of his name. His head turns towards the door. “Yeah, fine! Sorry for the breakdown.”

Arthur shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. You’re doing amazing, dude.”

“What about me?” Basile whines.

“Eh, you’re okay I guess.”

“Rude.”

“Okay, just wanted to check in. Keep it up guys! And much courage, Eliott. You’re gonna need it with these idiots.”

Eliott laughs lightly, the faint pink back in his cheeks, before smiling gently at Arthur. “Thanks. I will keep it in mind.”

“Joke’s on you, he’s part of us now. He joined the idiot side already.”

Eliott’s eyes clear instantly at Basile’s words, less of a storm in the middle of the ocean and more of a cloud after the worst poured down, and his lips curl up at the ends softly. Sometimes Lucas blesses Basile’s timing for things like this.

Eliott’s eyes search for Lucas’ immediately, and there’s something in them that has Lucas’ blood rushing to his face. Lucas only smiles at him just as softly, nodding in acknowledgement.

Eliott nods back.

***

From: Mama

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

From: Mama

I miss you, my son. Bring me back a bottle of wine.

Lucas smiles fondly at his phone screen as he types out a response.

To: Mama

miss you too, mama. and i will.

love you.

They’ve been here for over a week and things have been… interesting. Good interesting, though. It’s their third album, and Lucas wasn’t kidding when he said he wasn’t used to this kind of luxury either. Compared to this, the other studio where they recorded their first album looks like a cardboard box.

He can’t complain. Countless sound rooms, brand new instruments (although Lucas misses his drum set) all for them to use, a backyard as big as his apartment, and a fucking pool out of all things. Plenty of shirtless Eliott running around the backyard in the afternoon sun, all happy and wet, so Lucas really doesn’t have much room to complain.

He hates himself a little for thinking like this. He just can’t help it; ever since Eliott came into his life, he can’t picture himself kissing someone else’s lips but his. Run his hands through someone else’s hair but his. Touch anybody but him the same way he’d like to be touched. And it shouldn’t be like this, he thinks, he shouldn’t be thinking about another person when he already has someone back home. Shouldn’t be thinking about a boy. A friend.

Yet he is, and he hates himself for it. And then he hates himself more when he thinks about Chloe, and he can’t find regret in his mind. Not for liking him. A boy. Not for liking Eliott. Because when you find someone like Eliott, you love them until the day you die, Lucas is sure. Not many things make sense for Lucas, but this does. Because Eliott is the type of person you would kill and die for, if only to see them smile; the person you’d cling to, until your very last breath, because they’re alive, and intoxicating and overwhelming in the best kind of way.

So he hates himself, but he likes Eliott more. And somehow that makes up for it.

Pocketing his phone in his sweatpants, he closes the door of his room silently. He walks down the hallway with slow, quiet steps, careful not to wake up the guys sleeping in the rooms next to his, and goes downstairs. Where the grand piano is.

He had seen it on the first day they got here, tucked in a far corner in the lounge room. It stood proudly by the tall windows, in all its white glory, that Lucas couldn’t help but give it a longing glance every time he passed by. His fingers have been itching to press down on its keys since the first day, but the occasion never arouse; either the guys were fucking around for too long downstairs, watching movies and playing board games, or he was too tired to think about sneaking off in the dead of the night. Until now.

He sits on the stool with his hands over the keys. And listens. Everything is quiet in the way only a summer night can be. He lets himself smile, the darkness in the room and the quiet of the night taking him to a calm state of mind, and then his fingers are moving. The pale moon illuminates the side of the piano, glimpses of white flashing on his hands when they move close enough in the direction of the window.

He’s missed this. A fleeting thought crosses his mind, that he should invest on a piano when he gets back to Paris, until it’s blank again. He gets high off this feeling. This feeling of complete numbness, nothingless that he thinks should make him feel isolated, but it doesn’t. It only relieves him.

“Lucas?”

His fingers slam down on the keys.

“Jesus Christ!” Lucas gasps, head snapping up. His eyes widen when he finds Eliott’s head poking out behind the couch. He clutches at his chest. “Fuck, dude. I’m going to tie a bell around your neck, you can’t keep doing this. I’m going to have a heart attack at 20.”

Eliott has the decency to smile sheepishly at him. “Sorry, it wasn’t my intention.” The moonlight shines on his face and dances around inside his eyes beautifully. “It just seems to happen.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Lucas huffs. He turns sideways in the stool to face Eliott. “What are you doing there?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Eliott explains after a second. He crosses his arms on the back of the couch, tucking his chin there. A strand of hair falls on his eyes, and Lucas desperately wants to touch. “I tried watching a movie but I don’t know where I left my earphones, and honestly, I wasn’t in the mood to look for them. So I came here, and then I crashed, apparently.” He shrugs. “Until the music woke me up.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Eliott says quietly, shaking his head, earnest eyes looking at Lucas. “It was beautiful. I would rather spend sleepless nights listening to you play than wasting my time dreaming.”

Lucas’ cheeks turn pink. He nods, thanking the dark for not giving him away, because he’s sure he’s got the answers of any question Eliott could ask etched in his skin in this moment. Instead, “Are you still stressed about the whole belonging thing?”

Eliott huffs out a laugh. “Well, when you call it like that...” Lucas wiggles his eyebrows at him, and Eliott laughs again. “But no, not really. Or a little, maybe, just the normal amount of stress I think.”

Lucas nods solemnly. “The normal amount of stress is good.”

“It is.” Eliott agrees with a small smile before his face turns somber. “You’re really cool guys, did you know?” He speaks, a little more timidly this time, playing with a thread on the couch. “You especially. You’re a good person, Lucas.”

Lucas bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from weeping. His body tingles all the way down to his toes at the way his name sounds coming from Eliott’s mouth. He’s never cared about his own name; just another name, the one he got at birth, he guesses. But when Eliott says it, it feels like falling in love, like it’s the only word he wants to hear for the rest of his life. It happens with everything Eliott says or does.

“So are you.” He answers back sincerely, voice going hoarse.

Eliott looks for his eyes in the dark, and Lucas lets himself get caught. They study each other in silence; it’s comfortable, and Lucas’ heart slows down to the point where he can’t hear it in his ears anymore. They stay like that until Eliott’s mouth falls open in a silent yawn.

Lucas takes notice of the drowsiness clouding Eliott’s eyes, and he bites back a fond smile. “Are you going back to your room? I can go if you want to stay here, I was the one making noise anyway.”

“No, no.” Eliott shakes his head slowly. “Stay, please. Could you play me something? So I can fall asleep faster?”

Lucas gives him a careful look. “Are you sure it won’t wake you up further again?”

“It won’t, promise. I just wasn’t expecting it the first time.”

“Well, okay then.” Lucas concedes. “You lie back down now, okay?”

“Okay.” Eliott nods, taking his arms off the back of the couch before disappearing out of Lucas' sight. “Good night, Lucas.”

Lucas smiles to himself, turning around in the stool. His fingers find the right keys to press on, and he does, slowly, softly, the room filling with quiet notes and warm melodies.

“Good night, Eliott.”

He plays until his hands ache, and Eliott sleeps.

***

“Why didn't you guys tell me how good Lucas is with the piano?”

Yann gives Eliott an odd look, and Lucas wants to drown himself in this pool.

“Because he isn’t?” Yann frowns.

“What? Yes he is.”

Lucas submerges himself deeper into the cool water, enough that if he breathes now he thinks he could fill his lungs with enough water that he’d get out of this conversation. He gives Eliott a urgent look, but Eliott is too busy staring at his best friend with a challenging expression to notice him.

“I mean, he’s not bad at it? Lucas dabbles in most instruments. As long as you can get something that resembles a melody out of it, Lucas will play it.” Yann explains, confused as to why Eliott is sending him a death glare. “But I didn't think it would be a conversation topic."

Lucas appreciates Eliott trying to defend his honor, he does, a lot and very enthusiastically if the tightness in his swimsuit means anything, but he would appreciate it more if he would just shut up this time.

Because him playing piano isn't common knowledge, because the guys met him at a time when things with his mama weren't good, and back then he had preferred to unload his anguish by beating up a set of drums than playing the piano. And the piano requires a delicate touch, and a quiet mind, both of which he didn't have at the time, so he quitted, and when he picked it up again it had been too late for him to say anything.

So he didn't.

He watches as Eliott's mouth opens to throw back a retort, but before he has the chance to, Lucas finds himself in Eliott's space.

"You don't-"

"What Eliott meant to say," Lucas cuts him off with a squeeze of his shoulder. "is that I deserve to be a conversation topic at all times."

Eliott looks at him with a quizzical expression, brows furrowed. "No, I-"

"Anyway, I'm going inside to get a beer. Do you guys want one?" Lucas pipes in again, giving Eliott a pointed look before turning to the guys with a wide grin. He signs the words to Arthur, who gives him an enthusiastic nod.

He can feel Eliott's confused eyes staring at his profile, but he doesn't look back. Instead he squeezes Eliott's shoulder a little more forcefully.

His hand slips a little, and that's when he realizes he's fully plastered to Eliott's very naked and very wet side. The realization turns his cheeks a faint pink, but he ignores it. Ignores how smooth Eliott's warm neck feels against his arm and how his skin shivers where their hips brush together; how he wants to lick the water droplets that cling to his eyelashes and roll down the side of his face, or the hand that tentatively travels to his own waist a few moments later.

His quiet gasp is drowned out by the guys' chorus of agreement as Eliott drums his fingers on his waist. He turns his head to look at him, startled by the touch, finding Eliott's soft smile directed at him.

Lucas smiles back stupidly, warmth coiling deep inside his belly.

"Lucas, dude? The beers?"

"Oh yeah, yeah." He shakes his head, taking a step back from Eliott. "Eliott, come help me out please?"

Eliott gives him a look filled with curiosity before giving in. "Sure," he says, and then he's guiding Lucas with a hand on the small of his back. "Let's go."

Lucas holds his breath the entire way into the kitchen, pretending the goosebumps arising in his body is from the slight afternoon breeze against his shoulders and not Eliott's hand on him.

"They don't know, do they?" Eliott asks once they're in the kitchen.

Lucas shuts the fridge closed with his hip and passes two beer bottles to Eliott.

"Nope."

"Don't worry." Eliott says with a glint in his eyes. He pushes past Lucas to grab a bag of chips from the shelf, his breath hot hitting the side of Lucas' face, making Lucas' breath catch. "I'll keep your secret."

And suddenly Lucas isn't sure if they're having the same conversation.

[krreader]

NCT reacting to you being gone after sex, only to be found in another room.

pairing: nct x reader fandom: nct warnings: 00-liners and younger are not included in this request ; sex ; language ; mentions of anal sex genre: smut ; fluff ; hints of angst

a/n: soooo, I decided that when it comes to smut requests I’m not doing 00-liners or younger for now. I know many people are still very uncomfortable reading smut for 00-liners - me being one of them - but I still hope you like it sweetheart ♥

ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

moon taeil

“I have no idea where she is,” Taeil said to Yuta who had just arrived.

Since you had spent the night at his place last night, Yuta had decided to sleep in another room, not wanting to.. disturb anything, and also not wanting to listen to whatever you were doing.

But now he had come back and instead of finding you two soundly asleep, you were nowhere to be seen.

“Did you cheek downstairs? Maybe she's just making breakfast or something..”

“Breakfast.. right,” he hadn't even thought of that.

He immediately rushed into the kitchen and, as Yuta had said, there you were, making some breakfast with a happy smile.

“Hey, thought you might be hungry after last night,” you walked up to him and fed him a bite of the pancakes you had just made, “Is it good?”

And he had been so worried that you had left.. but there you were, the most beautiful woman on this planet, making him breakfast and..- god he wanted to cry.

“The best.”

john seo

“I'm not sure what happened, but can you please just talk to me?” Johnny was close to a mental breakdown.

This was the fifth message he had left on your phone after you had just disappeared. Last night had been the first night you two have had sex and apparently it was so bad that you had just left..

..or he was just paranoid.

“Listen, I love you, but I don't want you to listen to me being in the bathroom,” you suddenly said, walking into the bedroom with your phone in your hand, “I don't think our relationship is ready for that yet.”

“Oh my god!” he sprinted towards you and pulled you in for a hug, but then he leaned back and furrowed his eyebrows, “We didn't even do anal.. why would you take so long in the bathroom?”

You just rolled your eyes and hit his chest, but laughed anyways.

lee taeyong

Not that he had been bad last night, he knew that you had enjoyed it, but unfortunately he had been too excited and had an orgasm before you did.

So.. maybe that's why you had left? Maybe you had been so disappointed that you thought it'd be better this way?

Taeyong was fidgeting with his phone, his mind trying to come up with reasons why you weren't here, when he decided to go downstairs and grab himself a cup of water..

..only to find you standing in the kitchen.

“(Y/N)?”

“Oh, sorry.. I didn't wake you right? I couldn't sleep anymore, so I thought I'd make breakfast, but then I realized you didn't have all the ingredients, so I had to go to the store and..- are.. you okay? You look a little.. weird.”

“Yeah,” he let out a relieved laugh and walked over to you to kiss your temple, “I'm good. Better now.”

“Oh okay.. so, anyways, I had to go to the store and..-”

Truth be told, he didn't listen to a word you were saying, he was too relieved right now and was just staring at you with a big smile, nodding to whatever you were saying.

nakamoto yuta

A few hours ago you had been moaning his name, then fell asleep in his arms in content and now he was sitting in his bed all alone, without knowing where you were.

He tried to be rational about it. There was probably a reason you weren't here right now. You didn't just leave.. no, you were probably just in another room.

So he got up and checked the bathrooms, the kitchen, until he found you sitting on the balcony dressed with one of his sweaters, smiling at him when he joined you.

“Hey..”

“What are you doing out here? It’s cold..”

“I couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake you.. and I like weather like this.”

It was pouring, yet the setting sun could be seen through the dark clouds.

Yuta sat down next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Let's sit here for a while then.. together.”

You leaned your head against his shoulder, taking in a deep breath and sat out here for at least thirty minutes without talking to each other, yet being fully comfortable with the presence of the other and the only sound being the rain.

qian kun

Kun woke up because of the bad weather outside, otherwise he wouldn't have noticed you being gone.

But he immediately started to panic.

Last night had been your first time together. Your first time in general. You had told him you were fine afterwards, but maybe you had been lying and he hadn't noticed.. maybe there was something wrong and you were bleeding badly somewhere..

With these thoughts in mind, he pushed aside the blankets and ran through the apartment, wanting to open a bathroom door that you just came out of, practically running into you.

“Oh..-” you chuckled, “What are you doing?”

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Are you bleeding?”

“Wh..- no, I'm okay. I just had to go pee,” you furrowed your eyebrows and cupped his cheeks, “Really, Kun, I'm fine, you don’t have to worry..”

He still slept with one eye open that night, pulling you closer each time you fidgeted in his arms.

kim dongyoung

Dongyoung was upset.

His pride was hurt badly.

The fact that you just left without a word.. he wasn't that bad.

“You could have at least said something before leaving.. and don't pretend you didn't like it, you literally came three times. But maybe that wasn't enough for you, maybe you wanted to..-” he was angrily typing the text message, looking up with an open mouth when you strolled into the bedroom with a bunch of cookies, one of them currently in your mouth.

“Uh..-” you gulped it down and then hid the plate behind your back, “I.. got kind of hungry. Sex always makes me hungry and orgasms.. well, orgasms make me want to eat a lot. And since I had three,” you shrugged, your voice showing signs of shyness.

Dongyoung quickly tapped the delete button on his phone and just threw it somewhere else on the bed with a grin, “Come here.. let's eat them together.”

Good thing he didn't press send yet.

ten

When you’ve had your second orgasm and had moaned his name into his ear, he had genuinely thought you had enjoyed yourself more than ever before.

When you had begged him to go faster and had scratched open his back, he had genuinely thought you were craving more and never wanted it to stop.

But now that he was alone in his bed, he was afraid that all of this had been fake.

Biting his lip, he started looking through the apartment, only to find you in the living room on the phone.

“No, I just can't sleep.. I'm fine though. He was.. the best I ever had, seriously. I've never had an orgasm when having sex with a guy for the first time, but he just knew where to touch and kiss me and.. god, it was fantastic.”

Ten just grinned, leaning against the wall and listening to you rambling on about how much you enjoyed last night with him.

jung yoonoh

The first thing he saw when his eyes opened was the sun setting.

You and him had started right after dinner and because of how exhausted you had been, you had fallen asleep right away, despite the early hour.

Maybe that's why he woke up now.. only to find the bed empty.

“(Y/N)?” Yoonoh asked, his voice still groggy. He was a little confused as to why you weren't in bed with him, maybe even a bit worried, but thankfully you weren't far away.

“I'm here,” you smiled, sitting on his window board, “Go back to sleep..”

But he didn't want to if you weren't with him.

Only in his boxers, he got out of bed and walked over to you, pushing his face into your side until you wrapped your arms around him.

“I thought you left for a second..”

“I'd never leave you,” you whispered, “Especially not after that performance.”

He chuckled happily.

dong sicheng

Sicheng had thought you and him were perfect for each other. You've had a good thing going for a while before you’ve had sex for the first time last night, so you leaving was not something he had expected.

He was upset, angry and most importantly hurt.

He thought this relationship was more to you than just sex, but maybe you had used him..

..or not.

Because when he wanted to get himself a cup of water – or a lot of alcohol – he found you sitting in the living room.

“(Y/N)? What.. are you doing here?”

“Oh, I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd just watch some Netflix,” you said with a smile, a blanket wrapped around your body.

He wanted to slap himself for ever thinking you'd just leave.. you were the one that told him you loved him first, you were the one that always supported and showered him with affection when needed..

..no, you'd never do that to him. You'd never hurt him.

kim jungwoo

With you in his arms, he had always slept better.

It was like his body was so used to it now, that he immediately woke up when you weren't there anymore.

Only that tonight he became worried.

Last night you had sex for the first time. Both of you. And while he fully enjoyed himself, he wasn't sure if you did as well. He had been careful, had made sure you weren't uncomfortable, but maybe his pleasure hadn't let him see that you were actually hurting.

He immediately jumped out of bed and looked everywhere for you, only to find you walking out of a bathroom with a towel around your body.

“Why did you take a shower?”

“Because I was sweating and you were already sleeping,” you took a step towards him, looking at his worried face, “What's wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, nothing.. It’s fine.. just thought you had left.”

“No, no.. just needed to take a shower. Desperately,” you laughed, grabbing his hand, “Come on. Let's go back to bed.”

lucas

Sex had been glorious. Both of you had enjoyed yourself so much that you had managed to do it for over an hour. He had forced himself not to cum to soon, not wanting it to end, no matter how hard that was.

..so because you had both enjoyed it so much, he didn't believe that you'd just leave.

He was too confident about himself to think that you hated it so much that you'd run away.

And he was right, you weren't gone, you were just getting yourself some water.

“Thirsty?” you chuckled, handing him the glass, “Maybe we should bring a bottle to your room..”

“Bring two,” he grinned, pushing you against the fridge, you giggling when he raised one of your legs, then the other.

mark lee

It looked bad.

A girl leaves after the first time having sex with a guy, of course he'd think he had done extremely bad.

Mark's pride was shattered, thinking he didn't please you. His mind was driving him crazy, so he wanted to take a cold shower and – hopefully – clear his head.

But the bathroom was taken. And when he knocked, he was surprised to see you open it.

“Oh, hey.. you want to take a shower too?”

“You're.. showering?”

“Yeah, there's a lot of.. uhm.. well.. sticky stuff on my stomach.”

“I told you I should have just cummed on the bed.”

“Nah, where's the fun in that?” you pulled him inside the room, “Come on.. you sweated a lot, let's take a shower together.”

Needless to say, his pride was restored after that shower.

xiao dejun

Like.. what was he supposed to think when he woke up alone after having had sex for the first time with you last night? It wasn't your first time, but it had been his first time and he had been so nervous that you'd think he'd be a total loser and from the looks of it, that's exactly what you thought, because you were gone and he was alone in bed.

He was close to crying, wanted to grab his phone and see if you had at least texted him, but that’s when you walked back into the bedroom.

“Oh.. you're up? Why?”

“Where.. you.. I thought..-”

“I went to the bathroom real quick.. did I wake you up?”

“No,” well, yeah, but..- “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine, why?” you sat down next to him, “Are you?”

“I just..- yeah, I'm okay.”

He didn't want to admit what he had been thinking, so instead he just cuddled with you and waited until you were asleep before he let out a sigh of relief and kissed your forehead.

God.. he never wanted to let you go again.. you meant so much to him..

won kunhang

That night you and him had shared last night had been the most special night ever for him.

You and him had waited for your first time together and it ended up being perfect. 

Absolutely perfect.

So perfect that he didn't think you would just get up and leave right away.

But he was worried nevertheless, maybe there was something wrong.

So he got up and looked everywhere for you, only to find you in the living room, a blanket around your body, seemingly wanting to sleep there.

Why, though?

“(Y/N)?” he knelt down in front of you, gently brushing your hair out of your face, “What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

“Sorry,” you said sleepily, “I couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake you up with me trying to find a comfortable sleeping position.”

“It's okay.. as long as you're okay,” he ended up sleeping on the couch with you, his arms wrapped around you as tight as he could and feeling the happiest he had been feeling in a long time.

[walker-journal]

Lion and Wolf

timing: At the start of the full moon parties: @letsbenditlikebennett, @laylacooke, @walker-journal summary: Adam meets Layla on the eve of full moon and has to decide if its stabbing time, Celeste saves the day.   

Adam was in Took’s General Store purchasing the essentials for “Big Moon” days. Previous trips to The Armory and Excalibur had taken care of most munitions and blade requirements. However there was always miscellaneous stuff. Materials for molotov cocktails, chloroform, poisons, and other essentials were all readily available within Took’s cheery confines.

Plus soap, gonna need ...lots...of soap.

To Adam’s surprise there was a small hesitation inside of him, a passing flicker of hope that none of the wolves he’d encounter were Winn or Lucas inside, or Lucas’ brother whom he’d never met. It was an unusual train of thought for Adam and he shoved it away. All threats needed to be eliminated no matter who they were. This kind of thinking wasn’t what he needed during this critical part of the lunar cycle. Focus.

However the athlete’s mental coaching actually made him lose track of where he was, leading him to almost run over someone in the aisle.

“Hey look where you’re…”

It was about this time that Adam’s eyes took in that the human roadblock also happened to be a bombshell. Brown eyes traced curves before finally arriving to her face with an appreciative smile.

“Sorry about that,” he said in a markedly more diplomatic tone. “My bad.”

----------------

Layla had only been in Took’s a few times. When she had managed to find some money here or there and could afford a small snack or something to drink. But being able to freely go in and just look was something she was able to do now. And since finding a home with Ari, Ulf, and Celeste, her mission was to explore the town and familiarize herself with everything without as much worry as she once previously held. Of course, tonight’s only issue was the full moon, which was rather big, and she knew she’d have to head back home soon.

Perusing the aisles, Layla wasn’t looking for anything in particular, however, she also hadn’t been paying attention to where she was going, so when she ran into someone she quickly started apologizing, “I’m sorry, I got caught up in looking, and I didn’t...see you.” The guy staring back at her had caught her attention with his smile.

It had been a long time since anyone had looked at her like that, and while she was flattered, she was also reminded about the serious relationship she had been in for a few years now, “It’s cool. I should have been paying attention to where I was going.”

---------------- “No problem,” Adam said with a lavisciously distracted grin.

Yet with the young woman’s (was she legal...oh god, hopefully?) presence came a feeling of cold that prickled long his skin in ripples of goosebumps and washed down his spin like he’d stepped under a waterfall. Something about this chick’d set off his Hunter senses. She was likely an inhuman, but of what kind he had no idea.

“Adam Walker,” he said, reaching a thewy arm across the card to offer his hand, trying not to let the heeby jeebies change his expression. “You from around here?”

----------------

Was this guy flirting with her? He had to have been. That smile that seemed to be permanently etched on his face was alerting her to the fact. She had seen it so many times in high school and when she would go out with Frankie and their friends, but the biggest difference now was that Frankie wasn’t here.

“It’s nice to meet you Adam Walker.” She stuck out her own hand to meet his and shook it gently. “Layla Cooke. And no. I’m actually from the South, but I decided to give White Crest a shot. What about you?”

----------------

“Going to college here,” Adam replied, keeping his expression neutral as the touch of her hand brought a rush of inhuman wrongness into his nervous system. The conditioned response of adrenaline entered his veins, years of training and violence filling Adam’s brain with visions of throwing Layla against the mental counters and slamming her skull against the tile floor over and over..

Focus. This is a public place. He knew nothing about her.

“Part of Delta Iota Epsilon,” Adam continued, and  shoved a thumb towards the sleeveless t-shirt with the acronym of DIE he was wearing. “Parties all night on Friday and Saturday,” Layla received another appraising look that was devoid of shyness or shame. “You should come check it out...you’d be a great fit,” he assured with a slow nod.

----------------

“Yeah, I’m hoping I can go there one day, when I’m able to get my life in order.” She slowly pulled her hand back and let it drop to her side. She couldn’t tell anything different about Adam, just that he seemed to be a huge flirt. It was weird talking to a college guy, considering they were probably about the same age. But after the bite, life just didn’t seem real anymore.

Seeing him motion to his shirt, she smiled, but something about the letters he was pointing to began to make her uneasy. His smile never seemed to falter though, “You know, I wasn’t as big into the party scene as one might think. My parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their only child going out and getting drunk on the weekend.” No, instead they had her training how to hunt and kill werewolves and other creatures of the night. “But I guess one party sometimes couldn’t hurt.”

Looking past Adam, Layla had noticed it was starting to get dark outside, and that meant that the moon would be coming up sooner than she would have liked, “Well, this has been fun, but I think it’s about time I head home, you know, with it getting dark and all.” Layla started to feel faint and sweat slowly began to build on her brow.

----------------

Adam’s sinewy shoulders shrugged. “Sounds like a drag...but guess its better than them now caring?” The footballer seemed a little uncertain on that last point. “But hey definately welcome anytime.”

She excuses herself and Adam had far more preparations to complete before the moon was high. “Yeah no prob see you arou….um, Lyra” (it was an L name right?) “you ok?”

----------------

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” She was starting to get worried for multiple reasons. “I’ll look you up.”

Layla began moving forward, but stumbled slightly. And there it was. The feeling she dreaded with a passion of a million fiery suns, “Layla. It’s Layla.�� Forcing back the lump in her throat, she looked to him with an uneasy smile, “Yeah. Totally. Just need some water.” She began looking around for a cooler with drinks in them. She had to get away from him. Had to get out of the store. Get home.

----------------

Adam frowned in concern as L-chick stumbled. Her weak smile only deepened his downturned expression. Adam went down one of the aisles to the coolers in the back. He placed a water bottle by ?Laura? And went up to the cash register to pay.

“Any better,” he inquired upon returning.

----------------

Layla felt like she was going to leave a lung on the floor of the store. Seeing the water, she grabbed the bottle and opened it, chugging it down. She had never changed in front of anyone before. She had always managed to find privacy, but tonight might have been the night, and Adam was the last person she wanted to know or see what she was.

Finishing the water in one long drink, she let the empty bottle fall to the floor, “Thank you. A little, but I really...I’ll see you around, yeah?” Heading for the door, she forced the door open allowing the cool night air to hit her in the face causing some relief to her pale, clammy skin.

---------------

After a courteous goodbye Adam gave Layla a minute or so headsteart. He was strapped for time but his instincts were picking up weird vibes here. All kids of weird shit went down around the Full Moon, furry and otherwise. If this chick were a supernatural and acting weird, then that's something he needed to follow up on for security’s sake, at least until he was sure it wasn’t going to be a public incident or Pet Shop of Horrors in some back alley.

Adam’s eyesight wasn’t human, thus he could give Layla a very wide berth while trailing her, keeping it casual and hoping to blend in with the crowd.

---------------

With each passing moment, Layla could feel her human side getting weaker and the beast growing stronger. She just wanted to shed her skin and feel better. To have this continual growing ache to disappear, so the animal inside her could be free, but at the same time, she wanted it under control. So far, with every shift, she hadn’t been able to remember what had happened the night before, and it scared her. Hurting someone or something was the last thing she wanted to do, but everytime it happened, Layla seemed to wake up covered in some kind of blood.

Clutching at her side, she could already feel things starting to happen, and the pain had been worse from her little scuff with Francesca and Orion a few days prior. Unable to control it, Layla let out a yowl of pain. With people staring at her, she began running back towards the place that had been discussed with Celeste as a good place to be locked up for this very occasion.

---------------

Adam darted into the back allies, mentally visualizing the direction Layla was probably heading. Unimpeded by the crowd, the Hunter place the purchased gear in his backpack and broke into a full sprint, vauling over obstacles, and scale fences in a few alacitious motions. Adam let his mutant physiology take control, hurtling forward over, around, and through the gaps in obstacles as he tried to gain on Layla.

He swung over a chainlink fence and out into the street again. He advanced after Layla with cold purpose, feet pounding on the broken sidewalk. “Heya Layla…,” he piped up, warm amiable tone not matching the hard agates of his eyes. “You ok?...Do you need me to call emergency services?”

---------------

Her mind was focused on getting to safety. She just wanted to be left alone, aside from someone to keep watch to make sure she stayed locked up. Layla definitely didn’t want to die, but if she had gotten out, she knew it was a real possibility and one she could support, despite her every effort to convince her parents not to hunt or kill wolves, but to subdue them by safer means.

However, her ears had picked up on something as she was scrambling to get home. The sound of feet hitting the ground at a rapid pace, and it wasn’t long until she knew exactly whose feet it was chasing after her. “Adam?” Her eyes were filled with shock, but also worry, “I don’t know how you got here. Or why.” By now she had a pretty good idea why, “But it’s not safe okay? That’s all I’m saying. So you need to leave.” She hated being blunt, but she couldn’t handle the possibility of attacking him or lashing out unintentionally.

---------------

Adam advanced in firmly purposeful steps, his expression steadily losing its warmth until it had cooled into an iron neutrality. Eyes that once regarded her with playful lewdness were now sizing her up with a calculation that held a surgical edge, something to be assessed and possibly disposed of rather than a woman to court.

“Why is it not safe Layla,” he asked with level calm.

---------------

Layla’s strength was diminishing. She was going to have to change sooner rather than later, and along with her strength, her patience was growing thin. It was the animal inside that made her want to lash out and rip his head off, but she resisted the urge, knowing deep down inside, she couldn’t live with herself if she ever did hurt someone, “Because, Adam, I’m not feeling too good, and I wouldn’t want you to get sick…” She looked over to him, the softness of her own expression gone and easily turning into something harder.

---------------

Adam looked around at the courtyard we were in. Cracked cement and empty storefronts long closed where dotted around them. Small plants and mosses eaked out starved existences in the small fissures spidering through cement and tarmac. The dusk cast waning crepular light over the patch of urban decay that Layla and Adam found themselves. The street’s activity was muted in the distance. “Thanks, that's very considerate of you,” Adam said, still advancing. He lifted a necklace from under his thin shirt. A six-pointed star caught the wan light, pure silver contrasting with the young man’s skin, still ruddy red from the sprint over here.

“You should really let me help walk you home though,” Adam said, winding the sliver symbol through his fingers as he drew closer. “This town can be pretty dangerous at night.”

---------------

Layla hadn’t yet been in contact with silver, since the night she received the bite that changed her. Seeing the glint in the rising moon, the girl’s demeanor completely changed and a low guttural growl escaped her lips, “What do you want with me?” Her body ached and the animal raged inside of her begging to escape, but the moon still hung too low in the night sky. Her breathing was rapid, and she could feel the sickness in her growing, “Are you gonna kill me? Is that why you won’t just leave me alone?” Tears formed in her eyes. Was tonight the night Layla was going to die at the hands of a hunter not much older than she?

She continued to move forward. Her only goal at this point was trying to make it back to Celeste, unless a fight were to ensue, which there was a very good chance she wouldn’t survive.

---------------

Perhaps seeing that subterfuge held no further purpose, Adam reached his free hand behind his back and under his shirt and withdrew one of the two blades he kept there. A cruelly serrated and silvered tactical knife danced easily in the Hunter’s fingers as he readied it.

“Depends,” Adam said coldly, keeping a steady pace but not yet rushing forward. “Where’re you going this Full Moon? If you're going to be out and about then yeah,” the athlete affirmed with a shrug of his shoulders. “You’d be too much of a danger to let live.”

---------------

Layla’s entire body was starting to ache, but she knew she was getting closer to where she needed to be. However, it didn’t deter Adam from continuing to follow along or threaten her. Finally at her wits end and her breathing growing shallow, she stopped and confronted him, “I’m trying to get to the place I was told to go so I can lock myself up, you nosey piece of human garbage.” Sweat was pouring down her pale face, and it was taking everything within her not to just give up and let the monster take control of her body.

---------------

Adam stopped when Layla did, posture slightly slanted as he kept his weight ready on his back foot. The insult didn’t seem to phase him however her claim provoked a moment of contemplation, brawny arms folded in front of him. However the way the silver tactical knife was nevertheless held in the outermost arm in readiness hinted at the deception within this face of casualness. The muscles within the Hunters arms and shoulders were still taut and knotted in this state of stillness, as if he genuinely expected Layla to drop this obvious charade and lunge at him any second.

“Really now.” Dubiety dripped from the worlds as tawny eyebrows raised in an expression that asked Layla if she ...really...wanted to play this way. There came another shrug. “Cool, let’s go and make sure you’re chained up nice and safe.”

---------------

Layla knew hunters. She knew the tricks they played. She was taught how to play games by her parents. And if she had really wanted to snack on his flesh, she would have done it already, but the idea of meat grossed her out, and that idea still lingered behind all the rage and thirst bottled up inside her, “Geeze, yes. Really. Quit acting like a smug, fuckboi hunter and just help me get to the place I’m going. Unless you’re really just looking for a fight, because, yes, you’d probably win. I’m a baby wolf that doesn’t know shit, except animal instinct, which you’re going to experience, if you don’t quit slowing me down. Embrace this moment, you ass. Cherish it, because I’m sure it’s not often you get a willing participant to play your little cat and mouse game that actually just wants to go lock herself up.” She growled at him, before resuming the walk at a quicker pace. She was dispelling more energy, but if it got her away from him and in chains faster then so be it.

---------------

Adam let out an exhalation that evinced that confusion was stronger then frustration. “Yup, it definitely is different,” he admitted while keeping pace. “This isn’t cat and mouse so much as if you're lying, I size you down to fit in those dumpsters,” Adam replied with tactless frankness, nodding towards some waste receptacles they passed.

“Kay, so should I hold you up, carry you..” Adam asked in a more amenable tone, not about to throw an angry she-wolf over his shoulder without permission.

---------------

Layla rolled her eyes at his comment about the dumpsters, “Let me make it easier on you, Adam. You don’t have to size me to fit into anything. I know I fit in dumpsters for a fact. No shame here, because it’s where I used to get my food. So if you want to murder me, then go ahead.” She had almost regretted saying that. Almost.

The teenager closed her eyes in defeat, before reopening them and training them on the hunter in front of her, “If you think you can get me there faster, then be my guest.” She held out her arms waiting for him to pick her up.

---------------

There Hunter shook his head at his quarry and companions second slip into submitting before the knife. “Not that I don’t appreciate an easy kill to move the night along and all,” he began. “But you give up too easy Layla. It doesn’t matter if you’re small or young. Hit the right tendon it doesn’t matter. Fuckin dead is dead.”

On that cheery note, the Hunter put away the silver chain and sheathed his blade. He took the girl into his arms and hefted her weight without visible effort. This done, the athlete took off in a brisk run that steadily accelerated as the mutant fell into a stride that’d have had most fully-human soldiers panting before long.

“So, where is this place?”

---------------

He was right. She did give up too easily. Somehow she had made it this long on her own, but why? Why had she still been spared? Layla couldn’t figure it out. The one thing she did know was that she was angry at the world. Her parents. The wolf who had bit her. The people who had turned her away when she was at her lowest…

The only semblance of hope that had started to return was the day Ariana had offered her a hot meal and a bed to sleep in.

Feeling him lift her up, without resisting, she tried to hold herself up so as to not put all of her weight on him, but it didn’t seem to be much of an issue, “It’s deep in the woods, just past the drive-in theater. Adam, why are you helping me? Why not just kill me when you had the chance?”

---------------

“Because it's not the killing that’s important,” Adam huffed as he continued in a boot camp pace up various hills, across cul de sacs, vaulting over property fences using his free hand, and ignoring the residents cry of outrage as he just took the next fence at a run without responding to their questions.

“It’s about removing threats to mankind,” he continued between breaths while running off the paved streets onto the more rugged roads that signaled one was drawing nearer to the drive-in-theatre and woods. “If you stay out during the full moon then you’ll lose control and be a threat to everyone.”

Dusk deepend and shadowed lengthened, even with the Hunter’s superhuman stamina nightfall proved an implacable pursuer.  

“But if you're inside and chained up then you’re not a threat and I don’t have to kill you,” the Hunter finished with the brutally linear logic that the Code demanded. “Me helping you means less people die.”

---------------

Layla latched onto Adam. He was so much stronger than he looked, and she was impressed. And as she watched the town fly by as he ran, she listened to him explain the answer to her question. The fact that he didn’t outright want to kill her, she could respect, and it reminded her of the many arguments she had with her mother and father about that very issue; killing. However, where they differed was that she didn’t want to kill at all. She had just wanted to subdue the beast, despite knowing that there were wolves and other creatures that would kill regardless. And it’s part of the reason she was in the situation she was currently in.

“Well, I can respect that, and I greatly appreciate you giving me a chance. Not all of us want to be killing machines. Some of us just want to be normal human teenagers that go to college and spend time with their girlfriends and paint our nails.” She sighed. “And not have to be locked up every time there’s a full moon.”

She rested her forehead into his shoulder in defeat getting a whiff of his body spray, “Huh, you actually smell really good.” Looking up, she noticed the small structure just up ahead. “There. Celeste should be waiting.”

---------------

“You’re welcome,” grunted Adam as he leapt over the makeshift barricade at the far end of the drive-in theatre. Cicadas whined as the Hunter bounded through the open field towards the woods. Tall grasses and thorns tore at his fatigues, staining the light beige with slashes of green and yell as his breakneck pace barreled through dandelions and knots of knee-height weeds. The air was filled with the smell of fields yielding to the seedy pungence of the woods.

“Heh well I can’t really pretend to know what normal is like,” admitted the mutant who as a child needed to be carefully taught how to interact with non-Hunters so he didn’t accidently break his classmates.  “Glad your’re more ...Ya-Ya sisterhood stuff then... murder though,” he huffed as they cleared the treeline, branches snapped with like firecrakers under his pounding feet. “And I guess that’s just life ...when you got’ crazy moon virus,” he said with characteristic tactlessness on the matter of being locked up. “It isn’t fair...but that shits the breaks. “Heh, you mention your girlfriend ...then tease me with the smelling good and getting up close in my grill like that,” Adam noted with a hoarse laugh as they entered the home stretch up towards the woodland house, blinking as sweat stung at his eyes. “You're cruel,” he joked. While the relative intimacy of her so up close against him might’ve been more..distracting...under different circumstances, Adam was actually more concerned about Layla shifting in his arms and taking a big ‘ol bite out of his neck.

“Kay here we are, not much time”

---------------

Layla continued to stay latched on, but she could feel her body starting to make miniscule changes. Things got a little brighter in the night. Smells were more apparent and distinct. And she started to feel sick again. She had done a good job of suppressing it as Adam raced her towards the safety of a makeshift cage, but it was getting harder now. And she could start to hear the blood pumping through his veins, which left her mouth watering. But, of course, she kept her sudden needs on the DL.

“Crazy moon virus. Best name for it yet.” She felt her arms go around him a little tighter in both a manner of trying to hold on, but for deeper innate reasons. She was praying they would make it there soon, and despite him being kind of an ass, she didn’t want to hurt him. There was something about him that she valued, especially considering he was willing to risk his life to get her to where she desperately needed to be.

“What can I say? I must just be a heartbreaker.” She laughed weakly as they inched closer, and when they had finally made it, she slid off his back, nearly collapsing to the ground. Her eyes searched for Celeste as she tried to make her way to her feet, “Celeste! Please tell me you’re here...Please be here…”

---------------

As it got darker, Celeste found her nerves were dancing under her skin. Layla should have been here by now. She’d headed over to their spot early to ensure the chains were set up and ready to go for Layla. After many tests to make sure they’d be safe, she’d waited patiently, her fingers idly drumming over the tranquilizer gun on her hip. Except as the sky got darker, her patience soon wore thin. She was practically pacing a hole into the ground beneath her feet.

When she heard people approaching, she briefly felt relieved until she heard another voice with Layla’s. Her brow furrowed, she wasn’t keen on anyone else knowing about this spot. “Layla,” she called out, running toward Layla and the man carrying her. She looked over him carefully, waiting for him to set her down. “You’re late,” she said simply before asking, “And who is this?” With Ariana not too far off, Celeste felt on edge having someone else here.

---------------

If Layla consented, Adam set her down. He leaned back and placed both sinewy arms behind his head. The run here carrying another person had been taxing even by Hunter standards, and the footballer’s shoulders rose and fell in a steady rhythm as he tried to get some breath back.

“Adam,” he said with a flushed grin despite his brown eyes scanning the area, looking for if this lock-up was legit or if his sweaty gullible ass was about to be ambushed at this murder-cabin. “It’s ok, I’m used to hot gingers climbing me like a tree.”

He looked to the sky and then cautiously between both women. “So...where’s this safety room?”

---------------

“I know. I got held up.” She shot Adam a look. But as the moon was nearly high in the sky, the young wolf started to feel a more severe shift, and without being able to control it, cried out in pain. It was starting, and if Layla didn’t get chained up soon, then bad things were bound to happen.

Stumbling towards Celeste, Layla’s eyes held agony, “Do it. Whatever you’ve gotta do, do it.” She had done this many times alone, but there was no one around her that she feared she would consume. Of course, that wasn’t to say she hadn’t eaten people before, she just couldn’t remember it, and that always scared her.

Looking between Celeste and Adam, she had hoped they would both be safe and leave when need be. She had also wondered about Ariana, and if she was being locked up as well, but she didn’t want to say anything with fear of Adam trying something.

---------------

The idea of bringing a stranger into the space she’d set up was not something Celeste was keen on doing. Gently grabbing on Layla’s arm, she looked at Adam with narrow eyes. “I’m Celeste. If you haven’t noticed, I don’t really have time to give you a tour.” There wasn’t much time for a debate either, so she led Layla over to the abandoned underground room she’d found. It’d taken a little work to get the chains adequately reinforced and Ulfric didn’t love the idea, but it was what Layla wanted. If this Adam followed then he followed. Once Layla was restrained, she could pay more attention to him and determine if he was a threat.

Layla’s pain was apparent as her bones were shifting. She rushed down the stairs of the abandoned building and kept Layla close to her, placing the cuffs of the chains around her wrists as quickly as she possibly could before looking back to see if he had followed.

--------------- Adam would like to say that he was the kind of person that could’ve just accepted that this Celeste chick, though she felt human to his Hunter senses, was some nice wonderful person who definitely wouldn’t just let the almost shifted out to run free and gnaw off citizen’s gnads. Celeste’s concern looked genuine.

But Adam’s life hasn't been the kind that really left much room for faith in anyone. Faith was too dangerous.

Thus, he followed the two women with a feigned expression of mere idle curiosity.

---------------

Following Celeste as she grabbed onto Layla’s arm, the young wolf could already feel the crack and tearing of bone and muscle begin. But it wasn’t long before she was on the ground being chained up. It was the first time the girl had ever had chains around her body, and it scared her. But her mind couldn’t process words to speak from the pain that was taking over her form.

Curling up into a fetal position, she wailed out in pain as the horrific transformation continued to take place. It seemed like an eternity, before all was said and done, but when she had fully shifted, she lay on the floor panting, regaining her strength, before she managed to climb onto her two hind legs. She was smaller than most of the wolves, but she stood at least another foot taller than she previously had. Her fur was a warm, reddish-orange, and her eyes glowed brightly.

Sniffing the air, she looked around until she had laid eyes on Celeste and Adam. Food. Lunging came naturally, but she was quickly jerked back and hit the floor moaning slightly, before crawling forward trying to reach out swatting at both the hunters, but restrained from the large, heavy chains.

---------------

Celeste watched closely as Layla transformed, making sure the chains held. When she lunged and got jerked back immediately, she allowed herself to relax  a little and look back over to the man who’d brought Layla here. “Adam,” she said slowly, “I suppose a thank you is in order. I appreciate you getting her back here safely.”

She scanned him carefully, he was young and looked strong. It seemed likely they had a shared background, but he’d brought her here instead of killing her. “So, I can assure I have things under control here. I went through rigorous testing with the chains and have a little help handy if I need it.” She patted the tranquilizer gun on her hip, “Do you normally pick up shifting werewolves on the full moon?”

--------------- “No problem Ma’am,” Adam said in a distant distracted voice as he looked on the russet monstrosity that Layla had become. The air of inhumanity Layla brought to his Hunter sense came off the Werewolf in choking waves now that she’d shed her human shape. The silver knife tucked secured in the back of his pants under the sweat-soaked shirt seemed to dig painfully into his spine. There was a moment of regret where Adam’s heart faltered in the conviction that was the right choice.

Look at that thing. Why save Layla when it just meant that an innocent would likely pay the price for Adam’s weakness on a future full moon?

Adam pressed the thought from his mind, knowing first hand where that line of reasoning often led.

“Thank you for making sure the creature’s secure,” the Hunter said with an unconscious lapse into depersonalization. “Not usually how I roll,” he admitted, brown eyes drawn again to the luminous gaze of the straining lycanthrope. “But this seems a regular thing for you...Celeste, right?”

---------------

The young, wild animal paced back and forth knowing she was limited in her range on the chains, but she was hungry. Saliva dripped from her long fangs as she continued to snarl and growl at the two humans in her presence. And when innate hunger became too overpowering again, she took a harder lunge, only to be yanked back once again; her efforts proving fruitless.

Any indication of Layla was gone. She was just an animal looking to fill her stomach with anything, and they had been her targets. She was young and dumb, still new in her ways as a werewolf. She had many lessons to learn, but right now she was running simply on endorphins and the animal instinct that had come with the curse.

---------------

She wasn’t sure why it was so hard for her to believe that maybe another hunter had a more reasonable code than her parents had, but Celeste would be grateful for it. She’d have to find a new spot for the next month though. She didn’t want anyone outside of them knowing where they were. Too much of a risk. “I see,” she said, calmly and slowly, blinking a few times before she finally added, “I think I can figure out the rest, thank you.”

With a more serious face, she assured, “It is, yes. I’ll make sure she’s on time next time. She cut it entirely too close for my liking.” She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Just another layer to this whole fucked up puzzle of keeping both the kids and others safe. She figured she’d refrain from mentioning the bit about being what her parents would call a deserter. Most didn’t take kindly to that. ---------------

Although this particular encounter had ended happily, Adam’s night had really only begun. By this point those wolves that were still out had already changed, and Adam’s duty shifted from containment to elimination. “Thank you ma’am appreciate it,” the Hunter said, wishing he still had enough faith left to take Celeste’s assurance at face value.

Making a polite excuse to leave, Adam began the long trek back to town to retrieve his supplies and take up the night’s patrol

Adam was in Took’s General Store purchasing the essentials for “Big Moon” days. Previous trips to The Armory and Excalibur had taken care of most munitions and blade requirements. However there was always miscellaneous stuff. Materials for molotov cocktails, chloroform, poisons, and other essentials were all readily available within Took’s cheery confines. 

Plus soap, gonna need ...lots...of soap. 

To Adam’s surprise there was a small hesitation inside of him, a passing flicker of hope that none of the wolves he’d encounter were Winn or Lucas inside, or Lucas’ brother whom he’d never met. It was an unusual train of thought for Adam and he shoved it away. All threats needed to be eliminated no matter who they were. This kind of thinking wasn’t what he needed during this critical part of the lunar cycle. Focus.

However the athlete’s mental coaching actually made him lose track of where he was, leading him to almost run over someone in the aisle. 

“Hey look where you’re…”

It was about this time that Adam’s eyes took in that the human roadblock also happened to be a bombshell. Brown eyes traced curves before finally arriving to her face with an appreciative smile. 

“Sorry about that,” he said in a markedly more diplomatic tone. “My bad.”

----------------

Layla had only been in Took’s a few times. When she had managed to find some money here or there and could afford a small snack or something to drink. But being able to freely go in and just look was something she was able to do now. And since finding a home with Ari, Ulf, and Celeste, her mission was to explore the town and familiarize herself with everything without as much worry as she once previously held. Of course, tonight’s only issue was the full moon, which was rather big, and she knew she’d have to head back home soon.

Perusing the aisles, Layla wasn’t looking for anything in particular, however, she also hadn’t been paying attention to where she was going, so when she ran into someone she quickly started apologizing, “I’m sorry, I got caught up in looking, and I didn’t...see you.” The guy staring back at her had caught her attention with his smile.

It had been a long time since anyone had looked at her like that, and while she was flattered, she was also reminded about the serious relationship she had been in for a few years now, “It’s cool. I should have been paying attention to where I was going.”

---------------- 

“No problem,” Adam said with a lavisciously distracted grin. 

Yet with the young woman’s (was she legal...oh god, hopefully?) presence came a feeling of cold that prickled long his skin in ripples of goosebumps and washed down his spin like he’d stepped under a waterfall. Something about this chick’d set off his Hunter senses. She was likely an inhuman, but of what kind he had no idea. 

“Adam Walker,” he said, reaching a thewy arm across the card to offer his hand, trying not to let the heeby jeebies change his expression. “You from around here?” 

---------------- 

Was this guy flirting with her? He had to have been. That smile that seemed to be permanently etched on his face was alerting her to the fact. She had seen it so many times in high school and when she would go out with Frankie and their friends, but the biggest difference now was that Frankie wasn’t here.

“It’s nice to meet you Adam Walker.” She stuck out her own hand to meet his and shook it gently. “Layla Cooke. And no. I’m actually from the South, but I decided to give White Crest a shot. What about you?”

---------------- 

“Going to college here,” Adam replied, keeping his expression neutral as the touch of her hand brought a rush of inhuman wrongness into his nervous system. The conditioned response of adrenaline entered his veins, years of training and violence filling Adam’s brain with visions of throwing Layla against the mental counters and slamming her skull against the tile floor over and over.. 

Focus. This is a public place. He knew nothing about her. 

“Part of Delta Iota Epsilon,” Adam continued, and  shoved a thumb towards the sleeveless t-shirt with the acronym of DIE he was wearing. “Parties all night on Friday and Saturday,” Layla received another appraising look that was devoid of shyness or shame. “You should come check it out...you’d be a great fit,” he assured with a slow nod. 

---------------- 

“Yeah, I’m hoping I can go there one day, when I’m able to get my life in order.” She slowly pulled her hand back and let it drop to her side. She couldn’t tell anything different about Adam, just that he seemed to be a huge flirt. It was weird talking to a college guy, considering they were probably about the same age. But after the bite, life just didn’t seem real anymore.

Seeing him motion to his shirt, she smiled, but something about the letters he was pointing to began to make her uneasy. His smile never seemed to falter though, “You know, I wasn’t as big into the party scene as one might think. My parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their only child going out and getting drunk on the weekend.” No, instead they had her training how to hunt and kill werewolves and other creatures of the night. “But I guess one party sometimes couldn’t hurt.”

Looking past Adam, Layla had noticed it was starting to get dark outside, and that meant that the moon would be coming up sooner than she would have liked, “Well, this has been fun, but I think it’s about time I head home, you know, with it getting dark and all.” Layla started to feel faint and sweat slowly began to build on her brow.

---------------- 

Adam’s sinewy shoulders shrugged. “Sounds like a drag...but guess its better than them now caring?” The footballer seemed a little uncertain on that last point. “But hey definately welcome anytime.” 

She excuses herself and Adam had far more preparations to complete before the moon was high. “Yeah no prob see you arou….um, Lyra” (it was an L name right?) “you ok?” 

---------------- 

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” She was starting to get worried for multiple reasons. “I’ll look you up.”

Layla began moving forward, but stumbled slightly. And there it was. The feeling she dreaded with a passion of a million fiery suns, “Layla. It’s Layla.” Forcing back the lump in her throat, she looked to him with an uneasy smile, “Yeah. Totally. Just need some water.” She began looking around for a cooler with drinks in them. She had to get away from him. Had to get out of the store. Get home.

---------------- 

Adam frowned in concern as L-chick stumbled. Her weak smile only deepened his downturned expression. Adam went down one of the aisles to the coolers in the back. He placed a water bottle by ?Laura? And went up to the cash register to pay. 

“Any better,” he inquired upon returning.

---------------- 

Layla felt like she was going to leave a lung on the floor of the store. Seeing the water, she grabbed the bottle and opened it, chugging it down. She had never changed in front of anyone before. She had always managed to find privacy, but tonight might have been the night, and Adam was the last person she wanted to know or see what she was.

Finishing the water in one long drink, she let the empty bottle fall to the floor, “Thank you. A little, but I really...I’ll see you around, yeah?” Heading for the door, she forced the door open allowing the cool night air to hit her in the face causing some relief to her pale, clammy skin.

---------------

After a courteous goodbye Adam gave Layla a minute or so headsteart. He was strapped for time but his instincts were picking up weird vibes here. All kids of weird shit went down around the Full Moon, furry and otherwise. If this chick were a supernatural and acting weird, then that's something he needed to follow up on for security’s sake, at least until he was sure it wasn’t going to be a public incident or Pet Shop of Horrors in some back alley. 

Adam’s eyesight wasn’t human, thus he could give Layla a very wide berth while trailing her, keeping it casual and hoping to blend in with the crowd. 

---------------

With each passing moment, Layla could feel her human side getting weaker and the beast growing stronger. She just wanted to shed her skin and feel better. To have this continual growing ache to disappear, so the animal inside her could be free, but at the same time, she wanted it under control. So far, with every shift, she hadn’t been able to remember what had happened the night before, and it scared her. Hurting someone or something was the last thing she wanted to do, but everytime it happened, Layla seemed to wake up covered in some kind of blood.

Clutching at her side, she could already feel things starting to happen, and the pain had been worse from her little scuff with Francesca and Orion a few days prior. Unable to control it, Layla let out a yowl of pain. With people staring at her, she began running back towards the place that had been discussed with Celeste as a good place to be locked up for this very occasion.

---------------

Adam darted into the back allies, mentally visualizing the direction Layla was probably heading. Unimpeded by the crowd, the Hunter place the purchased gear in his backpack and broke into a full sprint, vauling over obstacles, and scale fences in a few alacitious motions. Adam let his mutant physiology take control, hurtling forward over, around, and through the gaps in obstacles as he tried to gain on Layla. 

He swung over a chainlink fence and out into the street again. He advanced after Layla with cold purpose, feet pounding on the broken sidewalk. “Heya Layla…,” he piped up, warm amiable tone not matching the hard agates of his eyes. “You ok?...Do you need me to call emergency services?” 

---------------

Her mind was focused on getting to safety. She just wanted to be left alone, aside from someone to keep watch to make sure she stayed locked up. Layla definitely didn’t want to die, but if she had gotten out, she knew it was a real possibility and one she could support, despite her every effort to convince her parents not to hunt or kill wolves, but to subdue them by safer means.

However, her ears had picked up on something as she was scrambling to get home. The sound of feet hitting the ground at a rapid pace, and it wasn’t long until she knew exactly whose feet it was chasing after her. “Adam?” Her eyes were filled with shock, but also worry, “I don’t know how you got here. Or why.” By now she had a pretty good idea why, “But it’s not safe okay? That’s all I’m saying. So you need to leave.” She hated being blunt, but she couldn’t handle the possibility of attacking him or lashing out unintentionally.

---------------

Adam advanced in firmly purposeful steps, his expression steadily losing its warmth until it had cooled into an iron neutrality. Eyes that once regarded her with playful lewdness were now sizing her up with a calculation that held a surgical edge, something to be assessed and possibly disposed of rather than a woman to court. 

“Why is it not safe Layla,” he asked with level calm.

---------------

Layla’s strength was diminishing. She was going to have to change sooner rather than later, and along with her strength, her patience was growing thin. It was the animal inside that made her want to lash out and rip his head off, but she resisted the urge, knowing deep down inside, she couldn’t live with herself if she ever did hurt someone, “Because, Adam, I’m not feeling too good, and I wouldn’t want you to get sick…” She looked over to him, the softness of her own expression gone and easily turning into something harder.

---------------

Adam looked around at the courtyard we were in. Cracked cement and empty storefronts long closed where dotted around them. Small plants and mosses eaked out starved existences in the small fissures spidering through cement and tarmac. The dusk cast waning crepular light over the patch of urban decay that Layla and Adam found themselves. The street’s activity was muted in the distance. 

“Thanks, that's very considerate of you,” Adam said, still advancing. He lifted a necklace from under his thin shirt. A six-pointed star caught the wan light, pure silver contrasting with the young man’s skin, still ruddy red from the sprint over here. 

“You should really let me help walk you home though,” Adam said, winding the sliver symbol through his fingers as he drew closer. “This town can be pretty dangerous at night.” 

---------------

Layla hadn’t yet been in contact with silver, since the night she received the bite that changed her. Seeing the glint in the rising moon, the girl’s demeanor completely changed and a low guttural growl escaped her lips, “What do you want with me?” Her body ached and the animal raged inside of her begging to escape, but the moon still hung too low in the night sky. Her breathing was rapid, and she could feel the sickness in her growing, “Are you gonna kill me? Is that why you won’t just leave me alone?” Tears formed in her eyes. Was tonight the night Layla was going to die at the hands of a hunter not much older than she?

She continued to move forward. Her only goal at this point was trying to make it back to Celeste, unless a fight were to ensue, which there was a very good chance she wouldn’t survive.

---------------

Perhaps seeing that subterfuge held no further purpose, Adam reached his free hand behind his back and under his shirt and withdrew one of the two blades he kept there. A cruelly serrated and silvered tactical knife danced easily in the Hunter’s fingers as he readied it. 

“Depends,” Adam said coldly, keeping a steady pace but not yet rushing forward. “Where’re you going this Full Moon? If you're going to be out and about then yeah,” the athlete affirmed with a shrug of his shoulders. “You’d be too much of a danger to let live.” 

---------------

Layla’s entire body was starting to ache, but she knew she was getting closer to where she needed to be. However, it didn’t deter Adam from continuing to follow along or threaten her. Finally at her wits end and her breathing growing shallow, she stopped and confronted him, “I’m trying to get to the place I was told to go so I can lock myself up, you nosey piece of human garbage.” Sweat was pouring down her pale face, and it was taking everything within her not to just give up and let the monster take control of her body.

---------------

Adam stopped when Layla did, posture slightly slanted as he kept his weight ready on his back foot. The insult didn’t seem to phase him however her claim provoked a moment of contemplation, brawny arms folded in front of him. However the way the silver tactical knife was nevertheless held in the outermost arm in readiness hinted at the deception within this face of casualness. The muscles within the Hunters arms and shoulders were still taut and knotted in this state of stillness, as if he genuinely expected Layla to drop this obvious charade and lunge at him any second. 

“Really now.” Dubiety dripped from the worlds as tawny eyebrows raised in an expression that asked Layla if she ...really...wanted to play this way. There came another shrug. “Cool, let’s go and make sure you’re chained up nice and safe.” 

---------------

Layla knew hunters. She knew the tricks they played. She was taught how to play games by her parents. And if she had really wanted to snack on his flesh, she would have done it already, but the idea of meat grossed her out, and that idea still lingered behind all the rage and thirst bottled up inside her, “Geeze, yes. Really. Quit acting like a smug, fuckboi hunter and just help me get to the place I’m going. Unless you’re really just looking for a fight, because, yes, you’d probably win. I’m a baby wolf that doesn’t know shit, except animal instinct, which you’re going to experience, if you don’t quit slowing me down. Embrace this moment, you ass. Cherish it, because I’m sure it’s not often you get a willing participant to play your little cat and mouse game that actually just wants to go lock herself up.” She growled at him, before resuming the walk at a quicker pace. She was dispelling more energy, but if it got her away from him and in chains faster then so be it.

---------------

Adam let out an exhalation that evinced that confusion was stronger then frustration. “Yup, it definitely is different,” he admitted while keeping pace. “This isn’t cat and mouse so much as if you're lying, I size you down to fit in those dumpsters,” Adam replied with tactless frankness, nodding towards some waste receptacles they passed. 

“Kay, so should I hold you up, carry you..” Adam asked in a more amenable tone, not about to throw an angry she-wolf over his shoulder without permission. 

---------------

Layla rolled her eyes at his comment about the dumpsters, “Let me make it easier on you, Adam. You don’t have to size me to fit into anything. I know I fit in dumpsters for a fact. No shame here, because it’s where I used to get my food. So if you want to murder me, then go ahead.” She had almost regretted saying that. Almost.

The teenager closed her eyes in defeat, before reopening them and training them on the hunter in front of her, ��If you think you can get me there faster, then be my guest.” She held out her arms waiting for him to pick her up.

---------------

There Hunter shook his head at his quarry and companions second slip into submitting before the knife. “Not that I don’t appreciate an easy kill to move the night along and all,” he began. “But you give up too easy Layla. It doesn’t matter if you’re small or young. Hit the right tendon it doesn’t matter. Fuckin dead is dead.”

On that cheery note, the Hunter put away the silver chain and sheathed his blade. He took the girl into his arms and hefted her weight without visible effort. This done, the athlete took off in a brisk run that steadily accelerated as the mutant fell into a stride that’d have had most fully-human soldiers panting before long. 

“So, where is this place?” 

---------------

He was right. She did give up too easily. Somehow she had made it this long on her own, but why? Why had she still been spared? Layla couldn’t figure it out. The one thing she did know was that she was angry at the world. Her parents. The wolf who had bit her. The people who had turned her away when she was at her lowest…

The only semblance of hope that had started to return was the day Ariana had offered her a hot meal and a bed to sleep in.

Feeling him lift her up, without resisting, she tried to hold herself up so as to not put all of her weight on him, but it didn’t seem to be much of an issue, “It’s deep in the woods, just past the drive-in theater. Adam, why are you helping me? Why not just kill me when you had the chance?”

---------------

“Because it's not the killing that’s important,” Adam huffed as he continued in a boot camp pace up various hills, across cul de sacs, vaulting over property fences using his free hand, and ignoring the residents cry of outrage as he just took the next fence at a run without responding to their questions. 

“It’s about removing threats to mankind,” he continued between breaths while running off the paved streets onto the more rugged roads that signaled one was drawing nearer to the drive-in-theatre and woods. “If you stay out during the full moon then you’ll lose control and be a threat to everyone.” 

Dusk deepend and shadowed lengthened, even with the Hunter’s superhuman stamina nightfall proved an implacable pursuer.  

“But if you're inside and chained up then you’re not a threat and I don’t have to kill you,” the Hunter finished with the brutally linear logic that the Code demanded. “Me helping you means less people die.” 

---------------

Layla latched onto Adam. He was so much stronger than he looked, and she was impressed. And as she watched the town fly by as he ran, she listened to him explain the answer to her question. The fact that he didn’t outright want to kill her, she could respect, and it reminded her of the many arguments she had with her mother and father about that very issue; killing. However, where they differed was that she didn’t want to kill at all. She had just wanted to subdue the beast, despite knowing that there were wolves and other creatures that would kill regardless. And it’s part of the reason she was in the situation she was currently in.

“Well, I can respect that, and I greatly appreciate you giving me a chance. Not all of us want to be killing machines. Some of us just want to be normal human teenagers that go to college and spend time with their girlfriends and paint our nails.” She sighed. “And not have to be locked up every time there’s a full moon.”

She rested her forehead into his shoulder in defeat getting a whiff of his body spray, “Huh, you actually smell really good.” Looking up, she noticed the small structure just up ahead. “There. Celeste should be waiting.”

---------------

“You’re welcome,” grunted Adam as he leapt over the makeshift barricade at the far end of the drive-in theatre. Cicadas whined as the Hunter bounded through the open field towards the woods. Tall grasses and thorns tore at his fatigues, staining the light beige with slashes of green and yell as his breakneck pace barreled through dandelions and knots of knee-height weeds. The air was filled with the smell of fields yielding to the seedy pungence of the woods. 

“Heh well I can’t really pretend to know what normal is like,” admitted the mutant who as a child needed to be carefully taught how to interact with non-Hunters so he didn’t accidently break his classmates.  “Glad your’re more ...Ya-Ya sisterhood stuff then... murder though,” he huffed as they cleared the treeline, branches snapped with like firecrakers under his pounding feet. “And I guess that’s just life ...when you got’ crazy moon virus,” he said with characteristic tactlessness on the matter of being locked up. “It isn’t fair...but that shits the breaks. 

“Heh, you mention your girlfriend ...then tease me with the smelling good and getting up close in my grill like that,” Adam noted with a hoarse laugh as they entered the home stretch up towards the woodland house, blinking as sweat stung at his eyes. “You're cruel,” he joked. While the relative intimacy of her so up close against him might’ve been more..distracting...under different circumstances, Adam was actually more concerned about Layla shifting in his arms and taking a big ‘ol bite out of his neck. 

“Kay here we are, not much time” 

---------------

Layla continued to stay latched on, but she could feel her body starting to make miniscule changes. Things got a little brighter in the night. Smells were more apparent and distinct. And she started to feel sick again. She had done a good job of suppressing it as Adam raced her towards the safety of a makeshift cage, but it was getting harder now. And she could start to hear the blood pumping through his veins, which left her mouth watering. But, of course, she kept her sudden needs on the DL.

“Crazy moon virus. Best name for it yet.” She felt her arms go around him a little tighter in both a manner of trying to hold on, but for deeper innate reasons. She was praying they would make it there soon, and despite him being kind of an ass, she didn’t want to hurt him. There was something about him that she valued, especially considering he was willing to risk his life to get her to where she desperately needed to be.

“What can I say? I must just be a heartbreaker.” She laughed weakly as they inched closer, and when they had finally made it, she slid off his back, nearly collapsing to the ground. Her eyes searched for Celeste as she tried to make her way to her feet, “Celeste! Please tell me you’re here...Please be here…”

---------------

As it got darker, Celeste found her nerves were dancing under her skin. Layla should have been here by now. She’d headed over to their spot early to ensure the chains were set up and ready to go for Layla. After many tests to make sure they’d be safe, she’d waited patiently, her fingers idly drumming over the tranquilizer gun on her hip. Except as the sky got darker, her patience soon wore thin. She was practically pacing a hole into the ground beneath her feet. 

When she heard people approaching, she briefly felt relieved until she heard another voice with Layla’s. Her brow furrowed, she wasn’t keen on anyone else knowing about this spot. “Layla,” she called out, running toward Layla and the man carrying her. She looked over him carefully, waiting for him to set her down. “You’re late,” she said simply before asking, “And who is this?” With Ariana not too far off, Celeste felt on edge having someone else here. 

---------------

If Layla consented, Adam set her down. He leaned back and placed both sinewy arms behind his head. The run here carrying another person had been taxing even by Hunter standards, and the footballer’s shoulders rose and fell in a steady rhythm as he tried to get some breath back. 

“Adam,” he said with a flushed grin despite his brown eyes scanning the area, looking for if this lock-up was legit or if his sweaty gullible ass was about to be ambushed at this murder-cabin. “It’s ok, I’m used to hot gingers climbing me like a tree.” 

He looked to the sky and then cautiously between both women. “So...where’s this safety room?” 

---------------

“I know. I got held up.” She shot Adam a look. But as the moon was nearly high in the sky, the young wolf started to feel a more severe shift, and without being able to control it, cried out in pain. It was starting, and if Layla didn’t get chained up soon, then bad things were bound to happen.

Stumbling towards Celeste, Layla’s eyes held agony, “Do it. Whatever you’ve gotta do, do it.” She had done this many times alone, but there was no one around her that she feared she would consume. Of course, that wasn’t to say she hadn’t eaten people before, she just couldn’t remember it, and that always scared her.

Looking between Celeste and Adam, she had hoped they would both be safe and leave when need be. She had also wondered about Ariana, and if she was being locked up as well, but she didn’t want to say anything with fear of Adam trying something.

---------------

The idea of bringing a stranger into the space she’d set up was not something Celeste was keen on doing. Gently grabbing on Layla’s arm, she looked at Adam with narrow eyes. “I’m Celeste. If you haven’t noticed, I don’t really have time to give you a tour.” There wasn’t much time for a debate either, so she led Layla over to the abandoned underground room she’d found. It’d taken a little work to get the chains adequately reinforced and Ulfric didn’t love the idea, but it was what Layla wanted. If this Adam followed then he followed. Once Layla was restrained, she could pay more attention to him and determine if he was a threat. 

Layla’s pain was apparent as her bones were shifting. She rushed down the stairs of the abandoned building and kept Layla close to her, placing the cuffs of the chains around her wrists as quickly as she possibly could before looking back to see if he had followed. 

---------------

Adam would like to say that he was the kind of person that could’ve just accepted that this Celeste chick, though she felt human to his Hunter senses, was some nice wonderful person who definitely wouldn’t just let the almost shifted out to run free and gnaw off citizen’s gnads. Celeste’s concern looked genuine. 

But Adam’s life hasn't been the kind that really left much room for faith in anyone. Faith was too dangerous. 

Thus, he followed the two women with a feigned expression of mere idle curiosity. 

---------------

Following Celeste as she grabbed onto Layla’s arm, the young wolf could already feel the crack and tearing of bone and muscle begin. But it wasn’t long before she was on the ground being chained up. It was the first time the girl had ever had chains around her body, and it scared her. But her mind couldn’t process words to speak from the pain that was taking over her form.

Curling up into a fetal position, she wailed out in pain as the horrific transformation continued to take place. It seemed like an eternity, before all was said and done, but when she had fully shifted, she lay on the floor panting, regaining her strength, before she managed to climb onto her two hind legs. She was smaller than most of the wolves, but she stood at least another foot taller than she previously had. Her fur was a warm, reddish-orange, and her eyes glowed brightly.

Sniffing the air, she looked around until she had laid eyes on Celeste and Adam. Food. Lunging came naturally, but she was quickly jerked back and hit the floor moaning slightly, before crawling forward trying to reach out swatting at both the hunters, but restrained from the large, heavy chains.

---------------

Celeste watched closely as Layla transformed, making sure the chains held. When she lunged and got jerked back immediately, she allowed herself to relax  a little and look back over to the man who’d brought Layla here. “Adam,” she said slowly, “I suppose a thank you is in order. I appreciate you getting her back here safely.” 

She scanned him carefully, he was young and looked strong. It seemed likely they had a shared background, but he’d brought her here instead of killing her. “So, I can assure I have things under control here. I went through rigorous testing with the chains and have a little help handy if I need it.” She patted the tranquilizer gun on her hip, “Do you normally pick up shifting werewolves on the full moon?” 

---------------

“No problem Ma’am,” Adam said in a distant distracted voice as he looked on the russet monstrosity that Layla had become. The air of inhumanity Layla brought to his Hunter sense came off the Werewolf in choking waves now that she’d shed her human shape. The silver knife tucked secured in the back of his pants under the sweat-soaked shirt seemed to dig painfully into his spine. There was a moment of regret where Adam’s heart faltered in the conviction that was the right choice. 

Look at that thing. Why save Layla when it just meant that an innocent would likely pay the price for Adam’s weakness on a future full moon?

Adam pressed the thought from his mind, knowing first hand where that line of reasoning often led. 

“Thank you for making sure the creature’s secure,” the Hunter said with an unconscious lapse into depersonalization. “Not usually how I roll,” he admitted, brown eyes drawn again to the luminous gaze of the straining lycanthrope. “But this seems a regular thing for you...Celeste, right?” 

---------------

The young, wild animal paced back and forth knowing she was limited in her range on the chains, but she was hungry. Saliva dripped from her long fangs as she continued to snarl and growl at the two humans in her presence. And when innate hunger became too overpowering again, she took a harder lunge, only to be yanked back once again; her efforts proving fruitless.

Any indication of Layla was gone. She was just an animal looking to fill her stomach with anything, and they had been her targets. She was young and dumb, still new in her ways as a werewolf. She had many lessons to learn, but right now she was running simply on endorphins and the animal instinct that had come with the curse.

---------------

She wasn’t sure why it was so hard for her to believe that maybe another hunter had a more reasonable code than her parents had, but Celeste would be grateful for it. She’d have to find a new spot for the next month though. She didn’t want anyone outside of them knowing where they were. Too much of a risk. “I see,” she said, calmly and slowly, blinking a few times before she finally added, “I think I can figure out the rest, thank you.” 

With a more serious face, she assured, “It is, yes. I’ll make sure she’s on time next time. She cut it entirely too close for my liking.” She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Just another layer to this whole fucked up puzzle of keeping both the kids and others safe. She figured she’d refrain from mentioning the bit about being what her parents would call a deserter. Most didn’t take kindly to that. 

---------------

Although this particular encounter had ended happily, Adam’s night had really only begun. By this point those wolves that were still out had already changed, and Adam’s duty shifted from containment to elimination. “Thank you ma’am appreciate it,” the Hunter said, wishing he still had enough faith left to take Celeste’s assurance at face value. 

Making a polite excuse to leave, Adam began the long trek back to town to retrieve his supplies and take up the night’s patrol 

[salutmonmec]

EVEN THE DEAD DESERVE A SONG

an Elu Hunger Games AU

ao3 link

Lucas has been in love with the same boy since he was five years old. 

Now, he will be forced to fight him to the death.

What a fucking nightmare.

CHAPTER 1: THINGS FALL APART

… He is underwater.

It’s cold.

He’s sinking.

The surface isn’t far, and he can make out a blurry figure. They lift their arms, draw their elbow back until their hand hits their jaw.

An arrow breaks the surface, clips his ear. A cloud of red erupts on his left side. He can’t swim, never learned how. The elbow draws back again.

He is sinking in a sea of blood.

His mouth opens in a silent scream.

Lucas wakes with a gasp, jerking upright, a hand against his chest where his heart is about to burst from his ribcage. What the hell was that? The bright afternoon sun is beaming down on his nap spot, lighting the grass up to neon green and forcing him to squint. Lucas could not have been asleep for more than a half hour, but the troubling nature of his dream made it feel like years. He stands with a groan, joints popping. He gathers up his make-shift bow and slings the quiver over his shoulder. Only two or three more hours of light left, have to make this quick. A stick breaks about twenty meters to the right, followed by the sound of frantic hooves. Before he can help himself, a smirk splits his face. Perfect.

----

The buck’s head lands on the booth counter with a hollow thud, still bleeding a bit through the new hole in its left eye. Lucas rests his head on his arms, gently poking the soft fur of the beast’s ribcage. The booth’s owner, Ben, slowly gets up from his chair, flashing a wide gap-filled smile. He is on the skinny side, just like everyone else in District 12, cheeks always smudged with some kind of dirt. Right now, his eyes are lit up like torches.

“How the hell did you manage this Lallemant? You are a crazy son of a bitch, I swear.”

Lucas shrugged casually, shooting Ben a grin. “I have my ways.”

“Well bud, I can give you… 26 ration cards, should almost last you the month.” He leans over the buck, bending to Lucas’ eye-level. “The capitol changed the color again, this time a nice, deep, I’m-richer-than-you purple. Go crazy kid.” Lucas reached over and slipped the small mountain of cards into his bag, mouthing Ben a silent thank you and giving him a quick wink.

He turns around, slamming right into the back of an asshole. Yann spins around, ready to curse out the offender, but Lucas gets there first, sticking a middle finger in between his eyes. Yann lets out a loud laugh, shoving Lucas away playfully. “Fuck you, you shithead!”

“Wanna walk me home honey bun?” Lucas wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, making Yann roll his eyes.

“Jesus Christ, I’ll be out in a minute,” he states with a half-hearted wave as he turns back to the person he was haggling with. Lucas grins at him, shouldering open the door to the warehouse. Cool air hits him like a wave, the breeze lifting his hair off his forehead, drying the budding sweat on his skin. Peacekeepers march past him, their white uniforms glowing in the twilight. Who the fuck wears white in a place like this? Lucas looks down at his own clothes, torn and tattered from years of use. No matter how many times he tries to wash them, the black coal dust in the air finds its way into the seams. It’s as if the land wants to brand him, making sure that everyone knows where he comes from. You come from the dark, dank depths of the Earth, where no one ventures besides those who were unfortunate enough to be born into it. Never forget that.

A laugh shakes him out of his thoughts, head snapping up to find the source of the sound. A small head of tawny curls bouncing, a gap-toothed smile on her round, freckled face. Madeline Demaury, sitting on the shoulders of her big brother, laughter bubbling its way out of her mouth as he dramatically pretends to drop her. Eliott spins in a quick circle, his face now fully towards Lucas. God, he is beautiful. His blue-grey eyes are curled up in half-moons, mouth open, catching the tail end of a chuckle. His happiness is contagious, and Lucas finds himself struggling to hold back a smile. The setting sun is lighting up the Demaurys’ hair to an infuriatingly gorgeous shade of auburn. He pushes a flyaway strand of his straight, boring brunette locks away from his eye, cursing his bad genetic luck. At least he was fortunate enough to be alive at this very moment, witnessing the striking beauty of Eliott Demaury’s cheekbones, his long legs, shoulders deceptively broad despite his lanky figure. Fuck, he is beautiful.

“So, are you ever actually going to talk to him, or are you just going to stand there drooling all over yourself for the rest of your life?”

Yann’s strong hand lands on the shoulder that isn’t leaning against the warehouse wall. Lucas doesn’t take his eyes off Eliott. “Fuck you.”

As Yann snickers next to him, Eliott and Madeline sit down on their front porch steps. The front door behind them opens, and out runs seven-year-old Camille, launching herself into the lap of her brother. Eliott scoops her up, whispering in her tiny ear, making her giggle and nod enthusiastically. He sets her down, grabs her hand, leading her and Madeline inside the house. As the door shuts behind them, Lucas’ chest twists with a feeling he can’t place. He slowly turns, shoves Yann playfully. “What the hell are you so cheery about? You know what’s tomorrow right?”

“I for one, am not going to let the threat of imminent death stop me from roasting my best friend. What kind of life would that be?” He says with an easy smile, slinging an arm around Lucas’ shoulders. “Let’s get the fuck out of here before the Keeps’ come back.”

Lucas shoots one last look at the Demaury’s porch. The sun is fully behind the trees now, casting long shadows that flutter across the closed door, which, much to Lucas’ amusement, is painted a bright shade of baby blue. In this light, the house could have been abandoned, the warmth of Eliott’s presence long gone. Turning back towards Yann, his chest twists again, heart rising in his throat, threatening to choke him. Why do I feel like this is the last time I’ll see this?

----

An alarm blares ridiculously too close to his face. Cracking one eye open, he flops his arm across his body, slamming his hand in the direction of the obnoxious dinging. The clock slides off the edge of the table, hitting the floor with a loud thud. Still ringing, of course. Fucking hell. Lucas rolls his half-asleep body into sitting position, squinting at the light breaking through the cracks in his blinds, stopping the alarm with a half-hearted kick.

It’s Reaping Day.

Pushing himself off the tattered mattress, he sees his Reaping shirt, a blue-denim button up that he never really grew into, laid out on the end of the bed. Its folded, freshly washed and pressed. His mom must have been up for a while now. Throwing on a pair of faded black pants, he tugs the shirt on, slowly buttoning the front, shaking his head as the sleeves drop past his wrists. Frustrated, he rolls them up to mid-forearm. As a kid, he always thought his Dad was larger than life. Now at sixteen, he is starting to think he may have actually been right.

Walking to the bedroom door, he stops in front of the broken mirror to its right. Eyes a little too big, hair a little too wild, shoulders a little too slim. He rubs at a small bit of dirt on his neck, spits in his hand and tries to push his hair back into something resembling a normal human. His Dad’s shirt is hanging loosely on his frame, but he doesn’t mind. Everyone wears the wrong size clothes to the Reaping, spending money on extra ration cards rather than fancy shirts that will only be worn seven times in their life.

A rattle in the kitchen grabs his attention. Mama. She is scrubbing aggressively at a pot, the edges clanking against the edges of the small sink. She sees him in her periphery, turns her head and flashes him a warm smile. “You ready to go?”

He purses his lips, shoulders moving in a small shrug, “as ready as I can be, I guess.”

She sets the pot down, walks over to gently press a kiss to his forehead. “Only two more years, then we can move past this whole mess.” Glancing over his face, she wets her thumb and starts rubbing at a spot above his eyebrow. A laugh bubbles its way out his mouth as he scrunches up his face, shaking his head. “Mama, stop its fine,” he shoots a pointed glance at the small television set in the corner, “want me to get it set up for you?”

She waves him off. “Oh no, I got it.” She looks at him with a small, sad smile. “You know I would go, I just think the crowds would be a bit much for me today…” Lucas glances at the dark circles marring the smooth skin under her eyes, and nods. “Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“I’ll be fine darling,” she kisses him on the forehead for the second time, lips popping with a loud smack. “Say hello to Yann for me!”

Sliding into his shoes, he pushes through the front door, Yann leaning against the railing at the bottom of the steps. His shirt fits him perfectly. Asshole.

“Let’s get this fucking over with, shall we?”

----

A large bead of sweat makes it way slowly down the back of his neck, tickling his skin as it catches in his collar. It’s getting close to midday, the sun huge and deadly in the sky. The stage is in the middle of a giant dirt patch, no tree in sight to provide some semblance of shade. Everyone between the ages of 12 and 18 in the entire district are being herded into the stage space. The fine, dark dirt getting kicked up by hundreds of shoes, swirling in the air like smoke. Yann and him are stuck in the identification line, waiting for a finger prick and a drop of blood to confirm that yes, they are in fact, Lucas Lallemant and Yann Cazas. He is trying to distract himself by staring intensely at a rock on the ground that looks sort of like a fish, when someone trips into him. Not just someone, a big someone. Lucas puts out a hand to steady himself, his other one landing on the waist of the offender before he can stop it.

“SHIT I’m so sorry…” Eliott rushes out, head whipping frantically from side to side, “Camille still needs to learn that running through people’s legs is not proper Reaping Day etiquette.” His blue eyes finally settle on Lucas. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Say something. Anything. Oh God. He nods instead, not trusting his mouth. His left hand is still on Eliott’s waist, but he can’t seem to make it move. Eliott’s gaze is warm, softly flickering back and forth across Lucas’ face. His cheeks betray him then, flushing so intensely it’s almost painful. Eliott’s mouth breaks into a smirk, eyes playful as he gently backs away, turning in the direction of Camille’s giggles. Lucas’ arm settles back down at his side, hand tingling like a live wire. He watches until Eliott’s head disappears into the crowd, trying to settle the rapid beat of his heart.

“Oh wow, are you gonna be okay bud? Do you need me to give you CPR?” Yann snickers, clapping a hand hard in between Lucas’ shoulder blades. His cheeks are even warmer now. “If you don’t talk to him after this is over, then I will.”

His brain finally starts to register his surroundings again, and he turns to give Yann a hard shove, grinning despite himself. “If you go near him, I’ll shoot you in the foot, I swear to God.”

After the quick finger prick and a few more snide comments about his love life, they shuffle their way into the section marked “16”. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the top of a messy head of tawny hair, standing in the middle of the eighteen-year-old section that is marked off closest to the stage. His hand feels like it’s buzzing. Get it together Lucas.

At that moment, the crowd of teens were hushed, and the familiar dramatic tune of the national anthem blaring through the crackling speakers. Footage showing the war plays on the big screen, hard to see in the midst of the blinding sunlight. The president’s booming voice narrates, explaining the origin of the games, why it makes sense that they have been sending twenty-four kids to the fight to the death for twenty-seven years. Yann pokes his side, sending him an eye-roll. Lucas raises his eyebrows, a smirk dancing on his lips.

The film ends, and silence follows. A chair moves on stage, heels click on the hard surface. Hurried clacks echo through the space, and a woman hustles up to the microphone, one hand holding up the massive pile of blonde curls on top of her head. Daphné Lecomte. The Capitol representative for District 12 for the past few years, although she could not be older than twenty-five.

“Jesus, I swear her hair gets bigger every year,” Yann whispers in his ear with a breathy laugh. Lucas coughs to hide a chuckle, garnering looks from a boy and girl standing in front of them. He grins down at the ground while Yann elbows him in the ribs.

“Welcome everyone, to the Reaping for the 27th Annual Hunger Games!” Daphné says enthusiastically, her ridiculous Capitol accent extremely apparent. “As always, we are here to choose the two people who will have the historic honor of representing District 12 in- “ A strong wind gust sweeps up the stage, threatening to topple her hair tower. She steadies herself, tugging down on her neon pink skirt, “ i-in this year’s games!” She claps her hands together in excitement, gesturing over to someone on the side of the stage.

Emma Borgès saunters over to Daphné, clearly already wasted out of her mind. It isn’t even noon yet. She stumbles over her own feet, falling right into Daphné, who tries to gracefully push her upright. Emma gives the crowd a fumbling, slow salute, then takes her place next to the bowl of names at the center of the stage, swaying lightly on her feet.

The only District 12 champion in history. She won when she was just thirteen, outliving everyone thanks to her affinity for climbing trees. The spectators of the 20th games decided the killings weren’t going fast enough, so they flooded the area. Nineteen tributes had already been killed or died from the terrain, the last four drowned in the flood. Little Emma had been high up in a tree at the time, making her one of the youngest victors of all time. She was never really the same after that, spending most of her days getting drunk at the single district bar once she turned eighteen. Now every year, the two unlucky tributes not only have to fight to the death, but also deal with a drunk Emma Borgès as their mentor. What a fucking joke. Yann always had a massive crush on her though. He sneaks a glance over at Yann, who is openly staring at her with a dumb smile on his face. Idiot.

Daphné shuffles her way over to the glass bowl, struggling to drag the microphone with her. She smooths her skirt once more when she is settled. “Alright, let’s begin!”

She peers down into the large glass bowl, filled almost halfway with name cards. Every single person in this room has their name in there at least once. The twelve-year-olds are placed in only one time, and every year older is another slip added. When you are eighteen, your name is in the bowl seven times, making it more likely that an older tribute is picked. This ultimately makes the games more enjoyable for viewers, as a bunch of scared little kids running around would prove to be boring television after a while. You can add your name more times in exchange for ration cards, which is what most families end up doing in District 12. He had heard a rumor that Eliott’s name was in the bowl 32 times, but he hoped desperately that it was exaggerated.

Daphné’s pink-gloved hand reaches in slowly, swirling the cards around, trying to build anticipation. Lucas’ chest tightens, his forehead beading with sweat. Twelve cards with your name on it. That’s it. Only twelve. Daphné finally latches on to one, lifting her hand out of the bowl with a flourish. The crowd unconsciously leans forward, watching with wide eyes as she struggles to open the seal with her gloves on. The card rips open, and she clears her throat, lips approaching the microphone.

He knows before she even gets the words out. Her tongue pushes against her bottom teeth as her mouth opens, forming the beginning of the “L” sound.

Time slows down.

His chest heaves.

This can’t be happening.

He doesn’t even hear her say it, barely registers the echo of the ending syllable. He sees Yann’s shoulders collapse inward with a shuddering breath. His feet move before his mind catches up, walking with slow steps into the aisle leading up to the stage. Two peacekeepers walk up behind him, one placing a hard hand on his shoulder. They push him forward, his body refusing to move at anything above a glacial pace. He shoots a frantic glance back at Yann, who is staring at him with wide eyes, shoulders lifting up and down with the beginnings of hyperventilation. Lucas steels his eyes, desperately hoping Yann can read him. It’s okay... I’ll be okay. Yann nods imperceptibly, only for Lucas. A tiny pang of relief overshadows the crippling panic for a brief second.

His leaden feet move up the stage steps, and he moves to stand beside Daphné. She wraps her arms around him in a light hug, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Lucas! Well, aren’t you a strapping young lad! Now, how old are you sweetie?”

She moves the microphone in front of his face.

He can’t breathe.

He clears his throat.

“Sixteen.”

Sixteen, and I am going to die in a week.

Daphné claps her hands together again, snapping Lucas out of his thoughts. “Let’s give a round of applause for the courageous Lucas! The first District 12 tribute of the 27th Hunger Games!”

No one in the crowd moves a muscle. Dead silence.

“O-Okay then!” She clears her throat. “On to the second tribute!”

As she reaches in the bowl again, Lucas lifts his chin high, surveying the sea of young faces staring back at him. His heart is in his throat. He lands last on a pair of blue-grey eyes, wide and stricken under dark eyebrows, mouth closed in a tight line. Eliott. The realization suddenly dawned on him, there is still one tribute left. Oh God please anyone but him, please… oh God ple-

“Madeline Demaury!”

And God decided to laugh in his face.

There were a few gasps from the crowd. It’s exceedingly rare for a twelve-year-old to get drawn. Even more so a girl. The kids in the “12” section start to murmur to themselves, parting to reveal Madeline, her curls braided away from her face at her temples, showcasing her wide eyes and rosy, freckled cheeks. She straightened her pale green dress as the Peacekeepers appeared on either side to bring her up to the stage, pushing her shoulders back, putting on a brave face. From his spot on stage, he could see that her right shoe was untied. She is so young.

Before she can take her first step, Eliott shoves his way out of his section, landing on his knees in the center aisle, a cloud of dirt huffing into the air as he scrambles to his feet. He moves toward Madeline, but Keepers jump into action, pulling his arms behind his back, keeping him rooted to the spot. Lucas watches, horrified, as Eliott struggles against their grip. He manages to rip one arm free before a third Peacekeeper latches on to him. “Let me go! Get tHE FUCK OFF OF M-” He whips himself around, trying to face the stage despite the vice grip on his wrists. He sends a murderous glare at Daphné.

“I VOLUNTEER!”

“I volunteer as tribute.”

This can’t be happening. Wake up Lucas, WAKE UP. He digs his fingernails into his palms, drawing blood.

He is awake.

This is real.

Daphné is still standing next to the bowl, mouth open in shock. She quickly closes it, and makes a gesture to the Peacekeepers. They release Eliott, pushing him forward, and he falls onto his knees with the force. Madeline cries out, squirming out of the Keeper’s grip on her shoulder, and launches herself into her brother’s arms. Lucas can see Eliott’s lips move at her ear, and she starts sobbing, holding him tighter. The Peacekeepers come up behind her, pulling her out of his arms, dragging her away. Her screams pierce through deafening silence, filling up the space, cutting deep into Lucas’ soul, suffocating him. Eliott gets shakily to his feet, eyes shining, and he walks with long strides up to the stage. He stops next to him. Lucas continues to stare ahead, afraid he wouldn’t be able to handle whatever expression settles on Eliott’s face.

“My goodness! This is so exciting! District 12’s first ever volunteer!” Daphné drags the microphone over to Eliott, holding it up to his lips. “What’s your name handsome?”

“Eliott Demaury.”

“Oh, let me guess, was that your adorable little sister?”

There is a beat of quiet as he swallows, clearly trying to restrain himself from slapping the hair straight off of Daphné’s head. Eliott’s eyes narrow as he leans down.

“Obviously.”

Daphné clears her throat. “W- Well, there you have it!” She squishes her way in between the two boys, grabbing both their hands and lifting them straight into the air, beaming with excitement. “A big cheer for the District 12 tributes of the 27th Hunger Games, Lucas Lallemant and Eliott Demaury!”

Maybe it was the heat that finally caught up to him. Maybe the vice grip around his chest finally cut off his oxygen supply. Maybe his brain short-circuited with the dawning realization that he was now in a fighting death match with who he thought was possibly the love of his life. Whatever it was, Lucas’ body couldn’t take it anymore. His right hand slides out of Daphnés grip as he sways to the left. He hits the ground with a dull thud, vision going black around the edges. The last thing he registers is a head of tawny waves blocking the sun in his vision, the edges of his hair glowing auburn.

God, he is beautiful.

And then, everything is black.

[cptnsantiago]

right now, i want you here with me

summary: She appears in his dreams every night. Jake dreams of what future they could have had. Their planned cheap honeymoon to the Berkshires, waking up next to his wife every day for the rest of their lives, starting a family. 

read on ao3

The first thing Jake notes in loud consistent beeps, then bright light shining through his eyelids and a harsh pain in his side. He opens his eyes and closes them immediately. It’s too bright and everything is beginning to hurt as he continues to wake up.

Jake feels a hand fall to his knees softly and slowly he peels his eyes open. His own mother’s face comes into focus, and she’s crying. Relief or grief he can’t tell. Victor then comes into view, and he’s holding Camila as she begins to sob loudly.

“Mom?” Jake croaks, “What happened?”

But he doesn’t need her to answer as he squeezes his eyes shut and flashes appear of Amy in her sweats on their wedding day with a nicotine patch on her forehead, and Teddy proposing to her again . He remembers the relief of Teddy announcing there was no bomb after they arrested Dario Moretti. He sees her in her wedding dress, performing his rap vows and her heartfelt words. Then -- loud bangs, building collapsing, fire and finally darkness.

“Amy- Is she okay?” Jake attempts to sit up but pain begins to shoot up his chest and he grimaces.

“Jake…” Karen takes a shaky breath before, “You’ve been in a coma for 3 weeks. Th-there was a bomb, it was smaller so the bomb squad didn’t find it, I guess. A-and they searched the building over and over again but…”

“No-”

“They found traces of her but they couldn’t find her body…” Karen swallows, “I’m so sorry Jakey…”

Darkness returns quickly.

+

He doesn’t remember when he wakes up next but he feels nothing but pain. Jake can’t figure out if it’s physical pain or the fact that he’s a widower now. Is he? The bomb went off right as they were about to kiss as husband and wife. They had just gotten married.

Jake can feel his chest tightening and the tears are burning again. His mom is quick to be by his side and she’s asking how he is. He can’t just accept that his wife is gone. “What evidence was at the venue mom?”

“Jake…” Karen sits by him, taking his hand but he pulls away quick.

“What if Dario took her somehow or somebody else?” Jake doesn’t care about the physical pain anymore and he sits up, “I’m a detective I can find her.”

“Jake your squad has been working day and night on it…” Karen explains, “They even looked into Teddy and anyone who knows Dario. But no leads.”

“I haven’t tried yet. One more mind is sometimes all you need to crack a case!” Jake pleads, “Please just ask Holt to bring the case file.”

“They gave it to major crimes and it’s been marked a cold case.” His mom begins to cry quietly as she takes his hand and he begins to shake his head fiercely again.

“This is fucking stupid! They just gave up! This is Amy! How can they just give up?!” Jake is shouting and crying now, and suddenly Holt runs into the room just as Jake is trying to get out of bed. Holt has to push him down to the bed as Karen calls for a nurse. “How can you give up on her Holt? She can’t be gone, she can’t be-”

“I’m sorry Jake.” Holt is crying with him and he’s holding Jake as close as he possibly can without hurting him, “I am so sorry.”

+

As Amy’s empty casket is lowered into the ground - Jake can say he feels like the world feels like it’s ending. He’s felt like that ever since he woke up. His body healed and yet he was in pain every day. He just knew he would never be truly happy again.

She appears in his dreams every night. Jake dreams of what future they could have had. Their planned cheap honeymoon to the Berkshires, waking up next to his wife every day for the rest of their lives, starting a family.

But Amy is dead. He gets to do none of that with her. Jake is alone.

~

Amy wakes up alone in a dark hospital room. It’s dark outside as well; and she tries to survey her surroundings but her body is stiff. Her leg is in a cast and she can feel the skin on her bandaged arm burning very slightly. She groans as she turns her head to her right and she spots her boyfriend asleep in the loveseat.

“Teddy…” She croaks, throat.

Teddy responds in an instant and jumps from the couch to the space next to her. “Oh Amy thank God you’re awake.”

“Where am I? What happened?” Amy slowly sits herself up with Teddy’s help. “I don’t remember anything…”

“Uh, we’re in hospital. There was a fire.” Teddy begins, “I was…- Maybe I should get the doctor.”

Teddy stands up but Amy pulls him back down. Injured or not - Amy is strong. “Our house caught on fire. I was out on an errand run and most of the house was on fire when I got home and the firefighters were already there and they... they… You were unconscious and burnt and it was so scary Amy.”

She glances down at their hands and sees the rings on both their left hands. “So we lost our home? Did we have any pets or?”

“No. And no kids yet.” Teddy stands up again, “I need to know… What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Um… well… I was helping Jake with a case against, uh what was his name…” Amy closes her eyes, “Lucas Wint, that’s his name.”

“What year is it Ames?” Teddy asks with a desperate look in his eyes.

“Uhm, March 2014?”

“Oh Amy…” Teddy sighs sadly.

“What year is it?” Amy feels panic rising in her body when he doesn’t respond for a while, “Teddy, you’re scaring me!”

“It’s 2018.” Teddy sighs, “I was so afraid of this happening.”

“It’s 2018…” She takes a deep breath, trying to remain calm, “4 years…”

“I should really get the doctor.”

Amy is alone for a few minutes while Teddy finds their doctor. She begins to try and process everything that she has been told since she woke up. Teddy and her are married, or at least engaged. The ring is beautiful, she didn’t think Teddy would be anything so beautiful and suiting for her. He just didn’t have the eye for that stuff; he’s a brilliant detective but he always struggled with his style choices.

She doesn’t remember anything about the past 4 years but looking at the ring on her finger she can’t help but be pleased that it worked out with Teddy. When the doctor -  a relative of Teddy is seems, Dr. Wells - the information overloads her brain to a point where it’s throbbing and she wants to go back to sleep. Third degree burns, fractured leg in two spots, concussion - and he informs her that her baby is miraculously doing well despite the trauma.

“Baby? Amy’s pregnant?” Teddy sounds as shocked as she feels. He did mention that they didn’t have kids yet - but she’s glad he didn’t know either.

“Yes, congratulations you two. It’s truly a miracle that it survived the accident.” The doctor continues to rattle on about her due date, vitamins, her recovery and how he wants to keep a close eye on her to make sure the baby develops well.

She’s still trying to wrap her head around forgetting 4 years of her life and now she has to think about creating a pregnancy binder. It’s too much for her and she asks to go back to sleep.

~

When she wakes up again, she feels nauseous. It only gets worse as Teddy fills her in on more information of what she’s missed. It’s the beginning of June, they’ve been married for 3 years, Amy got a job offer in Boston so they had just moved there, and there’s so much more and she’s writing it all down so her head doesn’t explode.

“Where are my parents…?” Amy asks, “They haven’t been here to see me…”

“Oh Amy…” Teddy sighs dramatically, “I’m so sorry you have to go through this again…”

“What? What happened to my parents?”

“Your dad had a heart attack about 10 months ago, and your mom… Well, you know that thing where people die of a broken heart? Yeah, her heart gave out a few months later…” He’s in her space to comfort her now and she gladly accepts it as her head began to throb at this news.

“My parents are dead?” Her voice is quiet and weak, it’s quickly becoming too much for her to handle once again. “Please leave Teddy.”

“Amy I-”

“Teddy! I’ve had enough of this! I just need a moment.” She almost screams, her breath is coming up short. Amy manages to ground herself after a few moments after remembering she’s pregnant and the baby probably needs oxygen.

Their baby that she doesn’t remember discussing in the 3 years of marriage she’s lost. Sure the doctor said that her memory might come back slowly, and that therapy would help her with that. Amy will do anything to get back to normal, but she has to also stay stress free.

She can’t call her mom or dad for help. Her brothers are emotionally stupid as far as she remembers. Teddy is trying his best, but she needs to speak to someone.

Jake.

Amy doesn’t know why she thinks to call him. They were never super close - becoming decent friends after their bet ended. But were they close enough to call him and tell him how she’s feeling? Does she tell him that she feels like she’s suffocating - that it’s 2018 and she doesn’t remember that she’s married to Teddy and pregnant with his child , that she’s been working in Boston for months and that Donald fucking Trump is president.

She doesn’t have her number on her phone but she worked with him so much that she had to memorise his number. It rings, and rings and rings. But then she’s greeted by an automated voice telling her that the number has been disconnected.

The sadness that envelopes her is inexplicable but there. She doesn’t know how long it’s been since she’s seen him, but she misses him and nothing makes sense.

+

Jake gets his hands on the case file. For months, he studies over what was left at the scene. Her DNA was everywhere and there was no clear trace of her but not physical evidence that she could have burnt to death. There’s no trace or hints at their apartment. He’s gone over surveillance footage for hours in numerous areas around their wedding venue - he hasn’t slept and barely eats.

He’s required to go back to work after a few months. He’s put on desk duty and is required to go to therapy once a week. The entire squad tries to keep his spirits up as best they can; he loves them for this and he’s lucky to have such a great support behind him. Jake eventually feels like he’s getting to a point where he’s functioning properly and his therapist approves him for field duty.

Jake gets back into cases. He still doesn’t eat much or sleep a lot. Jake shows up to events, like Nikolaj’s birthday and Shaws for Gina’s farewell party. His life begins to go back to normal in a sense - he makes stupid jokes again and he goes out with his friends.

He continues to live in the apartment he shared with Amy - he doesn’t change anything and it feels so empty. On a nightly basis he can’t escape that Amy is gone and he has nightmares about that day at least once a fortnight. He survives just fine.

~

Amy is in hospital for a few days after she wakes up before they get to go home. Home is a cheap apartment for the time being - they need more time to find a good place where they can raise this kid.

A child. Amy’s still trying to wrap her head around that. She doesn’t remember her marriage with the man she had been dating and now she’s having a kid with him. Before they left they were able to have an ultrasound and got some more information.

November 26th. Heartbeat. 11 weeks. Real baby.

How Amy got through months of not having a period without noticing before the accident is beyond her. Although she had been in a coma for two weeks - she doesn’t understand how this baby survived. It was a miracle as the doctor has told them repeatedly.

Amy insists that they go to pick up binders so she can get a start on her pregnancy binders and Teddy is anxious to get home but he remind him that she’s stuck at home for a while for her recovery so she needs the binders. She creates a little nook for her studies with her binders to the side and laptop in her lap.

Her focus in impenetrable in the few hours she works on the draft of her binder. Teddy spends this time unpacking their new furniture and trying to make it feel like home. Eventually, her head begins to ache so instead she turns on the TV and allows herself to drift off during jeopardy while Teddy begins dinner.

Drift off isn’t exactly was she does. Her eyes are closed and she’s not paying attention to what’s happening around her but instead she’s lost in thought. They live in Boston now - and have for a few months. It’s not a huge deal, and she doesn’t expect her friends to be texting her every day. But the fact that no one from the 99 has contacted her baffles her.

They were friends right? She had been in a horrific accident that stole 4 years of her life but she remembers them yet they aren’t listed in her phone and she hasn’t had an email from them at all. To be fair, her phone was burnt in the fire, so this is a new phone and she can’t contact them herself. Amy needed her old friends now more than ever - but instead she was with her supposed husband in a completely different city with no memory of the more serious years of their relationship. What she needed during this time was familiarity and Boston was not familiar.

“Teddy? I have a question.” The man in question is currently serving up spaghetti and meatballs with a content look on his face - as if this is an ordinary night, which she guesses it is.

“Shoot honey.” Teddy says cheerily as he carries their bowls of pasta to the couch on a tray.

“Why… Did something happen with the 99? Do they not know?” Amy is staring at her food as she asks it, “I feel like it’s odd that they also haven’t contacted me since the accident.”

“Uh well, you all just drifted apart I guess.” Teddy shrugs, “I didn’t know until recently that you had stopped talking regularly with them.”

“Oh… Okay.” Her shoulders slump as she becomes lost in thought again. “What about Jake? He’s so incredibly nosy that I feel like he would find out somehow.”

“You and Jake probably had the bigger loss in terms of falling out of touch.” Teddy begins, looking slightly irritated.  “You two had a huge fight when we were about to move, and you refused to tell me anything about it and you haven’t spoken about it since we moved.”

“And we moved in January?” “Correct.”

“Present Amy really wishes she told you about that fight so I could know why I should be mad.”

“Trust me, same here. I hate that he made you so upset.” Teddy puts down his fork for a moment to squeeze Amy’s hand, “But we’re here now and we have so much more to focus on. We’re having a baby.”

“Right the baby.” Amy nods half heartedly, “But I also feel like regaining my memory is also a high priority.” “Of course it is honey.”

“Because what I remember is us being at the very beginning of our relationship and me even questioning whether we were a good match and now skip four years and we’re married and have a kid on the way. Teddy, that really scares me.”

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Teddy shakes his head, “I can only support you in your choices.”

“Okay I would like to sleep in separate rooms for now, just until I feel less like I’m about to explode from anxiety.” Amy tells him, biting softly on her lip as he eyes drift to his. “And stop calling me honey, it’s creepy when I don’t remember us.”

“Of course, whatever makes you happy, Ames.”

~

As a joint decision, Amy decides to not go back to work for at least a year. Teddy brought it up out of concern for her safety and wellbeing - she decided that was bullshit. But upon further thought, she concluded that the time before their baby arrived was vital. Amy needed to focus on making sure she was ready for their child with or without her memories. Then a further six months after the baby came for the sake of being with her baby.

The months following her return from hospital are strange. She meets the few friends they had before the accident, and they’re all so excited for the baby. Amy tries really hard to connect with them but she mostly feels uneasy and afraid. They all understand this and tell her to take her time - all so kind yet off to her.

These friends even throw her a gender reveal/baby shower. She’s five and a half months pregnant, physically healthy and she’s made no progress on her memory recovery. She doesn’t want to do this but she knows how excited Teddy is and the past months have been hard on him, so she eventually gives in. Teddy’s mom and his cousins are obsessed with her, making sure Amy has everything she needs and once again she feels completely overwhelmed.

Amy manages to escape to the bathroom for a few minutes and there’s nothing she wants more than to have a cigarette. She takes a few deep breaths and lets her hands run down the curve of her bump. In that moment she can finally feel it kicking, she wants to cry because it’s the most happy she’s felt since waking up. “Thank you mi amor.” She can feel herself calming down as the baby continues to move around, “I know it’s been crazy these past few months, but I’m really excited to meet you and I love you so much.”

Amy lets herself just enjoy the moment for a few minutes before Teddy comes knocking, saying that they’re ready for cake and presents.

It’s a boy. There’s only been one thing she’s been certain of since losing her memory, and it’s that this baby is surely the best thing that will happen in her life despite the circumstances. Amy can hear Teddy going on about how he knew it was going to be a boy because of all her brothers - whom all told her over text they couldn’t make it to their own sister's baby shower.

Amy quickly swallowed her anger down at the thought of her brothers not being there. She’s having a boy . Trying to come up with an image of what their baby will look like is hard; she wishes she could be more excited with Teddy but none of it feels right.

She can’t put a reason to why it all feels so off. Her memories tell her what doubts she was feeling about Teddy, but apparently she worked those out. Surely, she concludes, that these feelings are purely due to her losing her memory. But her gut is telling her otherwise. Maybe hormones were affecting her instincts? Was that even possible? How was she supposed to figure it out when she had so much more to figure out before her baby comes?

Amy begins to spiral again and god let her have a shame cigarette. She talks about it a lot in therapy, it’s her safe space for her to spiral and for someone to understand to an extent. Her therapist tells her to trust her instinct because they’re likely right. But it hurts her brain every time she begins to try and understand.

~

During her whole pregnancy, Amy barely dreams. She doesn’t dream too often from what she can remember. This changes in the last few weeks of her pregnancy. It starts off with her riding on a cloud with Jake and Rosa - and Teddy is behind them on a dark cloud full of thunder and lightning. Another time, she’s shaking Holt’s hand who is congratulating her on becoming sergeant.

This particular night, the day of her due date, is perhaps the strangest of her dreams. The scenes in front of her fade in and out, and they don’t make much sense. She’s sitting at a restaurant across from Jake and they’re talking to these strangers.

“He makes me laugh. ” “And y’know… There’s really no one else’s opinion I care about more than hers. ”

The look in his eyes seems so genuine that she needs to know more, but the scene changes and they’re kissing in a small hallway. Her body tenses and she hesitates before she leans into it before he rips away and she realises they’re undercover.

“Oh, hey, we were just looking for a place to uh… ” “Boink .” “Yep. Boink. That’s my preferred term for it as well. ”

“Amy and I kissed. ” “WHAT?! TELL ME EVERYTHING. ”

She’s suddenly in a park, Jake standing by a tree with his hands in his pockets when she spots a sketchy asian man watching them. It’s happening again - she’s pressing him against the tree and her lips are pressed against his. His hands fall to her waist and they feel so warm against her that she has to remind herself that it wasn’t real.

It isn’t real.

“So, a lot of change around here, huh? ”

They’re kissing again, and it feels so right. Her dreams were beginning to make more sense than her real life - but this was Jake she was kissing, so it definitely wasn’t right. Jake was an immature, goofy, lazy but smart cop. He definitely wasn’t right for her.

Amy is woken up by a sharp pain in her stomach, growing stronger for a moment before it quickly disappears. Her brain is still foggy from the dream she just had but there is no doubt that it was a contraction.

It felt real and familiar - but there was no way, right? Amy was with Teddy, and had been consistently for over 4 years. There’s no time to dwell on it when her brain clears up and she realises her baby is coming today.

She checks the time as she rolls herself out of bed - 3:48am - and waddles herself to the main bedroom where Teddy is sleeping and wakes him up softly. “Teddy, good morning, the baby’s coming!” Amy is poking him awkwardly.

“What Ames?” Teddy groans, slowly opening his eyes.

“I had a contraction and it was only the first contraction but I’m already super scared and not ready for this.” Amy is sitting next to him now as he sits up, “Will you stay up with me?”

“I’m going to need a lot of coffee but of course I’ll stay up.” Teddy says quietly, his hand covering hers.

“Are you excited?” Amy asks, hands drifting over her large stomach, “Ready to meet little Leo?”

“Why did you chose that name again?” Teddy chuckles, “It’s better than anything I could think of, but I’m still curious.”

“I had a really odd dream about the ninja turtles and it kind of stuck.” Amy shrugs.

“That adorable. I love you.” Teddy pauses for a moment before looking back up at her, “Can I kiss you?”

Teddy brings her in for a soft kiss after she nods, remaining silent. It feels fine, nothing life changing and it doesn’t trigger anything. It brings back the dream she just had - it felt so much more real than the kiss she and Teddy shared.

Could it be a memory?

She watches as Teddy gets out of bed to make coffee and Amy remains on his bed, lost in thought. From what Teddy said, they have been together for four years - but there was also a chance this happened behind his back. But neither of them were like that, she refused to believe she would cheat or that Jake would cross that line with how his father was.

She doesn’t know how long she’s spiralling but her thoughts are interrupted when another contraction hits her. Amy remembers the breathing techniques from her binder and gets through it with minimum whining. When she looks up again, Teddy is standing in the doorway staring at her, jaw slack and holding a mug in his hands. “How was it?” He remains where he is and takes a sip of coffee.

“It hurt, so…” Amy mumbles with a weak smile, “Could you get me some water? I feel so heavy and walking to the kitchen is a real struggle.”

“Oh right, sure.” Teddy is very clearly frazzled as he shuffles out of the doorway and comes back with water a few moments later.

“This is happening, Teddy.”

~

It’s fourteen hours later at 6:14PM on November 26, 2018 when Leo Santiago is born. Right on time, he’s definitely a Santiago child. Amy had kicked Teddy out an hour earlier because he was making her uncomfortable for reasons too complicated to go into while having a contraction every 3 minutes. Amy’s nurse was better support than Teddy had been anyway - he had been awkward and quiet.

The moment she had been cleaned up, Teddy was back in the room. He rushed to her side and looked down at the baby. “I’m so sorry I was so weird Amy I should have been in here for you.”

“Teddy, don’t worry about it. Just look at… our son.” Amy strokes Leo’s chubby cheek with the back of her finger and her heart feels so light. Despite everything that happened, with her accident and not remembering her husband while pregnant. She shakes it off when she looks at Leo again.

“He’s gorgeous, honey.” Teddy whispers, “Can I hold him?”

“Of course.” He bends down and scoops Leo up into his arms. Leo begins to whimper as if he’s uncomfortable, and it slowly becomes louder before Teddy returns him to Amy’s arms.

“I think maybe he’s hungry.” Amy nods at his suggestion, happy to have Leo back in her arms.

She’s silent as she prepares to feed Leo, and it’s such a natural instinct and it’s the most normal she’s felt in months. The dream comes back to the forefront of her mind and she looks up at Teddy with guilt. “I have to tell you something…”

“Yes Ames?” He’s smiling softly at the two of them, and she can’t do it to him. It can’t be real, and there’s no reason to cause a problem between the two of them now.

“I love you.” His smile only grows in size as he leans down to kiss her chastely, then kissing Leo’s head.

“I love you both too. So much.”

~

They get to go home a few days later, and Amy and Teddy fall into a great rhythm. Amy barely sleeps, but it’s normal and she loves to spend time watching her son. Teddy gets a month off as paternity leave and it really helps them to grow closer and helps them bond as a small family.

Leo is an angel baby, who quickly falls into a Santiago style schedule. He looks almost identical to how Amy looked as a baby, except his hair has soft curls in it and the shape of his lips is different to hers.

Amy can’t help but notice how Teddy is struggling to bond with Leo, like he’s holding a complete strangers baby. He’s been nervous to be a father, she knows he’s tried to hide it - but even with no memory of their relationship he is very easy to read. She knows he’s trying though.

Leo has been the only thing keeping her from drowning in her overwhelmed feelings. Since he’s arrived she’s been happier than she’s felt in a long time.

Amy is happy.

+

Jake is depressed.

They’re a week into the new year and he feels like he’s dragging himself from place to place. He had been doing well until December came around and he had to face the holidays without Amy by his side. He rang in the new year in their apartment, multiple empty beer bottles on the coffee table in front of him and one in hand - and he tried not to think about her. He really tired, but then he thought about his friends who were spending the holidays with their own families.

Jake went back to work the next day while most of their squad took it off. He mostly just sits at his desk, reading case files over and over to make sense of them. Detective work doesn’t bring him the same joy it used to - he keeps staring at what used to be Amy’s desk. If he was able to distract himself with a case, it was usually to easy. The criminals in Brooklyn had become predictable to him.

It’s not until Holt assigns him a missing persons case that he truly becomes invested in his work again. Jake is told to study the case file now because the missing persons husband was coming in for questioning as an obvious suspect to their disappearance.

He’s instantly hooked onto every word the file says. Johanna Rapley, 29, married, missing for 24 hours. Kindergarten teacher, no children. Been with her husband for 6 years. Phone, wallet and keys left in their apartment with no signs of struggle or anything that would connote a robbery.

It takes him less than a minute to start comparing. Amy Santiago, 35, married (technically?), missing for almost 8 months. Police sergeant, no children. Been with her husband (technically?) for 3 years.

Whether it’s easy or not, Jake knows he will be obsessed with this case because he can relate . Amy was declared deceased long ago and as far as everyone knows, he’s dropped the case. But on a rare, more sad night, he will pour over it and convince himself that she’s not dead - just missing. He knows that the longer a person has been missing, the more likely they are to be dead. His gut tells him otherwise, but he’s beginning to not trust it because he knows that logically, Amy is gone.

Nick, Johanna’s husband, comes in and he is very clearly stressed about being there. Their new Captain’s assistant takes the man to the interrogation room and he allows him to stew for a minute or so as Jake gathers himself.

“Nicholas Rapley, how are you today?” Jake huffs, dropping himself into the seat across from him and opening the file.

“My wife is missing, so not great.” He crosses his arms, a very defensive stance.

“You might know that in missing persons cases like these, the husband is always usually the main suspect.”

“Yeah I’ve seen cop shows. But I guarantee I have no clue what happened. The last time I saw Jo was before I left for work.” There’s an honesty in his eyes that Jake wants to believe him, but he’s a cop and he has to keep his mind open. “You need to believe me. I love her more than anything.”

“You can love someone and something in you snaps that makes you do something to hurt those you love.”

“Well I didn’t. I’m so afraid of never seeing her again; I want to hear her laugh again, to bake while she’s dancing in our kitchen covered in flour. I’m scared.” Distress is radiating off Nick, and he takes a quick glance at Jake’s hand, before continuing. “You’re married. You can understand that right?”

Jake is tense as he looks down at his left hand, where his wedding band remains. “Yes. I understand.”

+

He puts his entire soul into finding this man’s wife. It takes him until the beginning of March, whoever had done this took careful steps.

But finally Jake tracks down his perp, an ex boyfriend who has been reported but not convicted for sexual assault in the past. He’s picked up by police officers over in Boston, and it’s a long trip to pick him up but he needs it. This case is important and he needs to complete it himself.

The drive up is quiet, and it reminds him of the time he and Amy had to transfer a perp back to the 99. This trip would be infinity times better if she were there with him, they could have made it a nice little vacation - he had never been to Boston. There was no time for it now, no need for it. He didn’t want to see Boston if Amy wasn’t with him.

Jake isn’t expecting much from this trip at all, so when he arrives at the precinct the last thing expects is to be greeted by Captain Teddy Wells. He immediately doesn’t want to be there; he wants to take Max Soleo and get back home to Brooklyn. But Teddy is just as shocked to see him, and for a moment they’re just staring at each other.

“Hello Jake, uh, how are you?” Teddy stands up and walks around to shake his hand.

“Hey, yeah I’m okay.” Jake accepts his hand awkwardly, “I heard about your promotion to Captain here. Congrats.”

“Yeah thanks.” Teddy looks down at his feet for a moment, “How have things been? Since…?”

“Things are fine. We don’t need to talk about it.” Jake is completely tense with his arms crossed, “I’m glad things are going well for you.”

“Thanks man! I actually just had a baby a few months ago.” He picks up a photo from his desk, which shows a chubby smiling baby. “He looks exactly like his mom though, but I love him.”

Jake is too upset to actually look at the picture properly, he spots dark curly hair and brown eyes but he looks away. Why does Teddy get to find someone and have a baby with them and be happy ? Jake has had the only person who was truly important to him in his life taken away from him and he believes he’ll never be happy again and here Teddy is babbling on about his kid (Leo, he catches, good name) and how he laughed for the first time this week.

“That’s great Teddy. I’m sorry but I’m on a tight schedule so if we could get back to business.” Jake feels dizzy as Teddy begin to talk fast about the transfer of the prisoner and he just needs to get out quick before he loses his mind.

The rest of the case is a blur. As always, his brain takes this new information and shoves it deep down - his focus on the case more intense and obsessive than ever. He takes the perp back to Brooklyn, interrogates him with a new fire in him, finds Nick’s wife’s mangled body in a river, breaks the news to him. He fills the paper work in record time, and has it on Captain Holt’s desk before his shift is done. After Holt thanks him, Jake wipes his hands against his pants.

“What do you need, Peralta?” He looks up from the laptop on his desk with a curious glance, “Are you doing okay?”

“No.” Jake huffs, “I’m quitting the NYPD.”

“Would you like to repeat yourself?” Holt closes his laptop, his focus completely on him.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’m not happy in this job anymore, and this last case was too much for me.” Jake runs his hand through his fluffy curls, “I’ve thought through it.”

“Why don’t you just transfer? That seems far more responsible than just quitting.” Holt says, full of emotion in his own bland way. “It’s going to get easier, Jake.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that but it’s been almost a year and it hasn’t.” Jake shouts, “I can’t do this job anymore, she’s everywhere .

“What are you going to do? What is your plan?” Holt is leaning forward, almost looking desperate, “At least if you stay here you will have something to do.”

“I’m not sure, but I’ve made up my mind. ” Holt stands as Jake removes his badge and gun and places them quietly on the desk in front of him. Jake allows Holt to wrap him in a tight hug as he lets the tears fall. “I’m sorry.”

“We’re here for you, always.”

~

Jake has been haunting Amy since that dream. She had convinced herself that it was a weird pregnancy dream, but months later the same dream appears.

It leaves her confused and anxious when she's awoken by Leo for his perfectly scheduled second feed of the night. What is worse is that after he's been fed - he begins to smile up at her.

Leo is an extremely happy baby - he will smile at any stranger that he makes contact with and it's fairly easy to make him laugh. His joy is a positive influence to everybody that meets him and he's only 6 months old.

This all freaks her out because when he smiles up at Amy - she feels this odd pang of familiarity. It was a smile that gave off the same warmth that she felt when Jake smiled at her in her dream.

And Leo bares zero resemblance to Teddy.

She never thought too much into it - that maybe Leo was just her twin. The fact that this dream has occurred twice is making her truly wonder if it's actually a memory. That could be so vital into finding out more about the 4 years she lost.

But if it were a memory - what would that mean for her and Teddy? They had just decided on their 5 year plan - after Leo turns one they were going to find a house to grow their family in, and once they settled and Leo was a bit older they were going to begin trying for another baby. Hopefully by the time their new baby would arrive she will have passed her lieutenants exam.

If she had cheated on him, possibly even had an affair that landed her pregnant - what would that do to them? Was this the ‘fight’ that estranged her and Jake? Did Teddy lie to her and say that he didn't know what the fight was about? Amy can feel her temples begin to throb with the familiar headache of when she tries to deal with her lost memories.

Her fingers idly stroke Leo's soft curls as she tries to bring herself down from her spiral. Amy isn't sure when Teddy appears in the doorway but she is certain he witnessed her entire freakout from the look on his face.

"What's wrong, honey?" Teddy kneels in front of her and tightly grasps her free hand.

"I need to ask you something." Amy breathes deeply before continuing. "Did Jake and I have an affair?"

"Excuse me?" Teddy's eyes almost pop out of his head, and she can feel the guilt about to swallow her whole.

"I had this dream, and this was back when I was still pregnant. Jake and I were on an undercover mission and we kissed a few times, and then again in the evidence lockup…For realz." Amy looks down at Leo again, her fingers moving from his hair to his soft cheeks. "I wouldn't think much of it but it felt so real and at the time it was the only thing that made sense in my life."

"That sounds like crazy pregnancy dreams, Ames. You would tell me if you kissed Jake, even for work." Teddy shakes his head and stands up, "Why would a silly dream lead you to believe that?"

"Like I said ever since the accident, that dream is the only thing that made sense to me. Plus you said he and I had a huge fight, what if us having an affair was the cause of said fight?" Amy looks up at Teddy before looking at Leo again. "And… Everytime Leo smiles, it reminds me of Jake…"

She trails off, her eyes still trained on Leo as an excuse not to look at Teddy and his reaction. "Do you know how fucking ridiculous you sound right now!?" Teddy has gone from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds and is full blown yelling. "Leo is my son!"

Amy stands up from her nursing couch and places Leo back in his crib before dragging him out into the hallway. "If we're going to fight at least have the common decency to not to do it in front of a baby." Amy growls, "Look, I don't have any idea of what I am talking about. I have no clue of the past 4 years and I am just so confused ! Teddy I'm trying to understand."

"And you came to the conclusion that you had an affair with Jake and that I'm not the father of our baby?"

"Teddy, I-"

"Amy I've had enough. I'm sorry you're confused and still scared, but that kid is mine ." His hands grip onto her shoulders tighter than necessary, "I love you and I have complete faith that you just had a crazy pregnancy dream and have never cheated."

"I feel so stupid - I just want to remember and be at peace with that part of my life."

"I can't even begin to imagine how you feel." Amy buries herself into his arms. "But this is a low blow, because I know us and I know you wouldn't do that to us ."

"I'm sorry for considering that Leo is anything but your son. I just got freaked out and made strange links, I knew they were insane." Amy pulls back to make sure he knows how much she means it, "We can't pretend everything is perfect but I love you so much Teddy."

"Don't worry about it. It's you and me forever."

~

Living without her memories becomes easier as time passes. It doesn't come up in conversation everyday anymore, only on occasion when someone asks her about it. Amy has her life with Teddy and Leo to move on with - she can't be stuck in the past with Leo growing so quickly.

Leo is six and a half months old when Amy goes back to work. It was an important part of moving on with her life, going back to feeling normal. She had to transfer to a new precinct as her old one wasn’t able to wait for her - and it would be great to have her space from Teddy. Working with her partner sounds like a pain, especially when a higher rank than herself.

It’s weird; Amy is now the sergeant of the detective squad, and all she can pick out are the similarities between her new coworkers and her old friend. Det. Simpson and Det. Louis are as imcompetent as Hitchcock and Scully however they aren’t lactose intolerant so they don’t fart as much. Det. Ravis loves food almost as much as Amy remembers Charles loving it, but she doesn’t like dogs at all . Det. Lani is almost a mix of Gina and Rosa - but he’s a dude, and significantly less threatening in every way possible.

Det. Cowen is the only one Amy can’t place with anyone she knew in her old squad. Cowen is a shy and quiet girl when she first meets her, but she seems very focused. During the day Amy discovers that she’s the joker; it’s in a very subtle way but she makes everyone around her laugh. Amy wants to say she reminds her of Jake, but she remembers him as exuberant and wanting to make a fool of himself at any given time - but there’s something about Cowen that seems almost sad in everything she does.

She later discovers that this energy is for a reason. Their captain informs Amy that months earlier, Det. Cowen had lost her long time girlfriend to cancer. She can’t explain with it resonates so deeply with her but losing a loved one is painful and imagining losing her parents over again makes her own heart ache.

It’s her priority to make sure her first case assigned is with Cowen - there’s a part of Amy that is pulled towards her, like she’s important for her.

They click right away; it’s light hearted and fun working with Christina. She doesn’t take note right away of the way her goofiness reminds her of someone back where her heart remains. Christina shares her anguish of losing her girlfriend, and Amy opens up about her memory loss and the accident. It’s the most normal she feels when she doesn’t have Leo by her side, and it’s a great feeling to have again.

Her need to return to New York dwindles away as she becomes closer with her squad and as her son grows; she truly feels like everything is right in her world.

+

May 15th rolls around too quickly for Jake’s liking.

He’s gotten into a routine of sorts; he stays up until 3 in the morning, sleeps until 11 then rushes to go wait on stupid tables for 12 hours. On his nights off he spends alone and it’s not always sad - and sometimes even his mom will come over and watch Die Hard.

He is okay.

A month into his new routine, Rosa and Charles tried to convince him to come back to his old job - that he will be happy again. He tells them how he needs this, he needs something different to simply forget. They don’t find out about his increasing drink intakes for another month and when they do he pushes them away for good. The less reminder of Amy, the better.

Jake is doing just fine.

They continue to try to help him, but he doesn’t answer their calls anymore because he just wants to forget. His friends’ constant pity and help is as if they’re screaming ‘ AMY IS DEAD ’ into his ear.

Now it’s been exactly a year since it happened.

And he still misses her; it feels as if she’s the sun and he hasn’t felt warmth since the sun went down. Jake’s mind still betrays him some nights and tries to convince himself that Amy is alive; and his gut in those moments goes crazy but he learnt to stop listening to it.

Amy is dead.

And what if she isn’t?

Jake can’t be surprised that the anniversary of the incident is one of the what if days. “Jake stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it-”

He’s dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, forcing the images of the day away from his mind. Flashes of her white dress, flowers, her smile, and the sounds of an explosion and building collapsing. Amy - bleeding - “Stop it, stop it, stop it!”

Jake’s breath is coming up short and he doesn’t notice the door open or his old boss until he’s on the floor with him. He’s had anxiety attacks before, and frequently since the accident but he’s never felt more like he’s dying than in this moment. He can’t hear a word that Holt is saying to him - he doesn’t care to hear it. Jake just wants to hear Amy’s voice again.

It’s a while before he’s able to breathe properly again, but he doesn’t try to stop the tears. He knows Holt is trying to talk to him again but his grief is so intense that it’s blocking out the noise. It feels just as raw a year later, the pain so overwhelming like he’s falling down a never ending hole.

It’s because she’s not dead .

He covers his ears as if it could shut his inner thoughts up. “Jake, you know it’s not possible. Even if she had lost her memory we would have heard from her through her family, or she would have shown up somewhere.” Holt tells him sadly; he wasn’t aware he was saying any of this out loud.

“My heart and gut try to tell me she’s alive a lot. I know it’s not really possible after a year, but it always comes back.” Jake whines, trying to control his breathing again. “I want it to fuck off, I want to feel okay again.”

“I want to help anyway I can so-”

“Don’t say it.” Jake growls. There’s only so many times he can hear ‘it will get easier’ or ‘you will be happy again’ without his head exploding.

“I wasn’t going to.” Holt adjusts himself so that they’re facing each other now, “Things are different now. The loss of Amy is something that will affect you forever. But you know she would want you to be happy - this isn’t what she would want.”

“Get out.” Jake stands up, “You started off on the right note but then you think you can decide what Amy would want. Get out.”

“Okay, I respect you decision. We love and miss you dearly, Jake. See you next week.”

With that he’s alone again. Until Holt comes back for his weekly check up.

~

For Leo’s first birthday, they decide to make a trip down to New York. It was conveniently the same time as the annual NY Cop Con and they figure it would be nice to take him to the place they fell in love even if he won’t remember it later.

At the first sight of the city, Amy feels an intense warmth of home in her chest. She was home. Leo begins to wake up at this time as well and begins babbling to himself and she begins teaching him all about her old home in Brooklyn.

“I hope we’ll actually have time to go to Brooklyn.” Teddy tells her, “We have a jam packed weekend.”

“We talked about this, Teddy, we have to make time. It could help with my memories.” Amy frowns deeply, “Everyone I know has suggested me coming back here, and we’re finally here you have to give me a chance.”

“If we have time.” Teddy looks almost angry, like she had said the worst thing possible to him.

The silence is tense for a few more minutes before he takes her hand in his and smiles at her softly. They spend most of the ride like that and his anger dissipates on his face but she can still feel it in how tightly he is holding her hand. Amy is used to his tight grip by now, and she understands his need to hold her so aggressively since she almost died.

Once they arrived at their hotel and Leo is down for the night, Amy allows herself to relax on the balcony with Teddy.

“Boston is a wonderful city, but nothing will ever beat a New York skyline.” Amy sighs happily, “It’s such a beautiful view.”

“Not as beautiful as you.” Teddy laughs along with her softly, kissing her forehead.

“Don’t be so cheesy.” Amy blushes, leaning into his side more.

“I love you, Amy. No matter what.” Teddy mumbles, “I want you to always know that.”

She turns around, confused but happy as her hand rests on his cheek leaning up to kiss him. “I love you Teddy. No matter what.”

~

Amy feels particularly uneasy when Teddy leaves her to go hang out with his old precinct for the rest of the day. Leo is refusing to stay in his stroller so he’s slowing her down significantly as she walks from stall to stall, holding his hand. She can feel a familiar headache growing in her head, and she just needs Leo to be quiet so she can see the new tech and go back to their hotel so she can rest .

She is entranced by a new display of bomb suits, she doesn’t notice the magnetising effect it has on her and she definitely doesn’t hear the man explaining what was new about them.

There’s a flash of Teddy in a bomb suit and Jake next to her in a neat tuxedo. Amy feels the room begin to spin around her before she falls to the ground and she can hear Leo start screaming before everything goes dark.

-

“Thank you for doing this. I love you”

“Noice... smort…

I love you too.”

-

Her eyes open for another moment and Rosa’s concerned expression appears in her vision before she blacks out again.

-

“Look, you can’t be afraid to be successful, you’re too good for that.”

“I love you.”

-

“Amy Santiago will you… Marry me?”

“Surprise.”

-

The images flash through her head so quickly, yet she remembers every detail of it all. The final memory she know will haunt her for the rest of her life.

Jake lying just feet from her with blood streaming steadily from a wound on his head and a large piece of rubble crushing his rib cage. Amy reaches for him but pain in her shoulder stops her from reaching fully. “Jake, I love you.” Amy whispers, a single tear mixing with the dirt on her face.

“We’re going to be okay, Amy.” Jake gasps in pain as he reaches the rest of the way to hold her hand, “I love you Amy.”

It’s not long before they see a fireman running into the building, moving to take the larger pieces of rubble off Jake’s chest. “Take her, get Amy. Get her first.” Jake wheezes, squeezing Amy’s hand.

“Sir, you are likely severely injured. We have more men searching and we will have her out in no time.” The man begins to pick up Jake, and he groans loudly in pain, continuing to beg the man to take Amy and not him.

“I love you, it’s okay.” Amy tries to reassure him as he begins to cry weakly. “We’re going to be okay.”

Jake finally concedes, letting the fireman take him away. It’s not a minute later when Teddy comes into her fading vision. “Amy I’m getting you out of here.” Teddy wastes no time in carefully lifting her off the ground.

“Jake…” She can see Teddy’s mouth moving and he’s talking to keep her awake but she’s fading so quickly. The last thing she sees before complete darkness is fire, and Teddy carrying her out of the wrong exit.

-

When she comes back to, Leo is giggling and slapping her arm. “Mamamamama!” He’s squealing when she opens her eyes, the lights overwhelming her senses.

“Hey Leo baby.” Amy grins softly before examining her surroundings, realising she was still in the Cop Con venue laid out on a couch in a separate room.

“You’re dead.” Amy jumps at the sound of Rosa’s shaky voice, “There was no substantial evidence of you possibly dying but we couldn’t find you so they pronounced you dead .”

Amy sits up slowly, her head throbbing intensely. She looks to her old friend who looks completely on the verge of breaking down, and Amy’s own heart breaks for her. They embrace tightly; she can hear Rosa begin to cry quietly and Amy can’t help herself either, especially after Leo attempts to join but gets frustrated when there’s no room for him.

“He…” Rosa stares at the boy as she separates herself, “Jake?”

“Yeah, there’s no doubt about that now.” Amy laughs, “I’ve spent the last year thinking I had an affair with Jake; it’s been a weird year.”

“What happened? If you’re feeling up to tell me.” Rosa hesitates, looking between Leo and Amy.

“Teddy happened.” Amy shrugs, “When I woke up… He told me there was a fire, to explain the burns and a broken leg, lucky for him that I lost my memory.”

“The bastard .” Rosa growls, “You’ve been gone for a year and a half when you should have been home here. Where is Teddy?”

“He said he was going out with his old precinct.” Amy takes Leo into her arms as she speaks so he doesn’t hurt himself, “Um, Rosa, is Jake here?”

“No.” Rosa cringes, a sad look in her eyes, “Jake quit 9 months ago. He kind of pushed us away.”

Amy finds herself beginning to cry again as Rosa tells her about the grief he went through since he woke up. Her husband , quit his dream job, because he couldn’t cope with the reminders of her. “We need to find him.” Amy says desperately, “I need to see him.”

“Amy, before I do that we need to call for backup so we can arrest Teddy.”

“But Jake-”

“Come on, I’m going to take you back to mine and Gina’s place and we can figure it out from there.” Rosa offers to help Amy as she stands, “We have to move quick. Teddy has held you unknowingly captive for over a year, we have no idea what he’ll do if you go missing.”

~

Rosa looks over at Amy every once in a while on the cab ride home, likely still completely shocked that she has believed Amy was dead for a year and a half. It’s hard for her to process as well, her family was actually alive and her friends didn’t forget her; most importantly her best friend didn’t hate her and just thought she was dead like the rest of them.

When they arrive at Rosa’s apartment, she asks her to remain in the front area while she explains everything to Gina. She hears their general chatter, then silence followed by glass shattering on the ground and footsteps rushing towards Amy.

Gina freezes when she spots Amy, jaw dropping slowly as her eyes move between Amy and Leo. For a few moments she examines them quietly before finally whispering, “When was he born?”

“November 26.” Amy replies quietly.

“A s-sagittarius.” Gina croaks, opening her arms as she walks towards Amy, “He will probably fight with Iggy a lot but it’s nothing we can’t work through.”

Amy laughs as Gina wraps her in a tight hug. “Hi Gina.”

Gina starts to cry as well, which she honestly doesn’t expect. “I can’t believe it. This is like some fever dream.” Gina laughs brokenly, “I missed you, Arnie.”

“I missed that awful nickname.” Amy agrees as they seperate. Leo yawns in that moment and rests his head against Amy’s shoulder. “Is there somewhere I can put him down for a nap?”

When Amy exits their guest bedroom, Leo happily sleeping in the makeshift cot made of pillows, Rosa is on the phone with who she assumes is backup.

“She’s calling back up then going to get her gear and head off.” Gina confirms, “Now I know you will probably want to find Jake, but we need to stay safe here until Teddy is in custody, don’t want to risk anything.” “I understand obviously.” Amy nods fiercely as her mind races. “I don’t know what I’m going to say. How do you approach someone who thinks you have been dead for a year and a half?”

“Jake never gave up on you.” Gina says quietly, “Holt told us he said that his always gut told him that you were alive, but he convinced himself it was his brain trying to trick him.”

“I had the same feeling, about the one memory that came back before Leo was born. Both myself and Teddy tried to convince me it was my pregnancy brain but it always came back up.” Amy shakes her head, “I feel so angry that this happened. Surely we’ve been through enough.”

“I think the universe is now legally obligated to leave you two alone now.”

~

Amy is caught up with the entire year and a half in their squad while the mission to arrest Teddy is underway; Holt became commissioner, Gina left the 99 to chase her dreams and Terry finally passed his Lieutenants exam were a few of the highlights. When the door opens suddenly, Amy jumps to her feet not knowing what to expect but relaxes when she feels Charles crash into her and immediately sobbing.

“Hey Boyle, how are you?” Amy chuckles, patting his back lightly. When she looks up again, Holt is standing there; emotion for once very evident in his features. Boyle lets her go and she rushes to her mentor crushing him too in a long hug.

“It’s good to see you alive and well, Amy.” He has to clear his throat to compose himself before continuing. “Jake is still located at the apartment you shared. I’m afraid it’s a mess last time I was there, but he’s there nonetheless.”

The drive to her apartment is the strangest feeling. Amy leaves Leo with Gina and Rosa, and Holt fills him in on the arrest of Teddy; he apparently gave in easy once he saw her squad walking into the bar he was situated - drunk out of his mind. She doesn’t care to listen so much because all she can focus on is Jake.

~

Holt offers to come up with her, to maybe ease Jake into the news, but she insists on going alone. Amy needs to see Jake with absolutely no distractions around them - so she can hug and kiss him, so they can cry together if needed. So they can be together .

Amy stands outside the front door for way too long making sure she can breathe properly. She finally knocks. Words escape her as soon as she saw his face, cheeks sunken in slightly and hair wilder than she can imagine. The tiredness on his face screams at her, like he knows nothing else but that.

He closes his eyes for a split second before opening them again and smiling, “Am I dead ?”

“Wh-what?” Amy stummers quietly, eyebrows cinching together.

“I must be dead, and you’re here to take me home. To the afterlife or whatever.” Jake’s chin quivers as tears begin streaming down his face, “I missed you so much, Ames.”

“Neither of us are dead, Jake.” Amy says, “It’s such a long story Jake, but I was never dead.”

Amy is ready for when Jake falls forward in shock. The extra muscle built from carrying a 1 year old around kicks in, helping her to drag Jake to the couch to lay down. It’s easy to remember where everything is, and she has a damp towel and cup of water ready for him quickly.

The closer she looks at him, the more she sees Leo. His skin complexion, nose, eye and hair colour are identical to hers, but everything else she sees is Jake. She begins to cry out of anger at everything Teddy had done to them, and how this would affect their lives forever.

“Is it really you, Amy? I don’t want this to be another dream. I can’t handle another dream like this.” Jake begins to cry in earnest as soon as he opens his eyes again.

“You’re awake, this isn’t a dream, I’m here.” Amy cries softly alongside him, her hand above his heart. “The nightmare is over.”

“Kiss me.” Jake hiccups, “Dream Amy never kisses me.”

Amy does so with no hesitation, warmth fills her entire soul as their lips finally meet. She’s home.

Once they part, he jumps off the couch and pulls her in for the tightest hug of them all. “I knew you were alive! You’re really alive!” He’s shouting so joyfully, and she can see the light returning to his eyes. “Amy, god, I love you so much. I missed you.”

He’s kissing her again; her face, nose, lips, jaw. Amy can’t help the purely happy giggles that escape her mouth before she kisses him again - the joy too difficult to express with words in that moment - and it doesn’t take long for it to escalate to a point where they need to move. There’s no need for explanations in that moment, only time for the two of them.

~

Reality comes crashing down on their reunion bubble when she sees that Rosa has called her twice in the past half hour. “Ames, what’s up?” Jake sits up to rest his head on her shoulder as she reads the few texts sent.

“There’s one thing I do need to tell you now.” Amy straightens herself and turns to face him.

“What is it?” Jake looks mildly concerned, but the happiness still mostly radiates off him.

“We have a kid.” Amy keeps her eye contact and her voice calm, “His name is Leo, and he was born November 26, 2018. It was a miracle he survived the ordeal, but he did and he’s the most perfect baby.”

“Leo.” Jake tests out it for himself, a smile growing quickly, “You massive nerd. You named him after a ninja turtle.”

“I literally had a dream about the ninja turtles and even if I didn’t remember it at the time, it was definitely your influence.” Amy laughs, “Rosa says he won’t go back to sleep. He needs me.”

“I would love to come… And meet him, y’know.” Jake says eagerly, before retreating shyfully and shrugging, “I should probably apologise to everyone for my behaviour as well.”

“You don’t need to apologise, they understand.” Amy assures him, “You’re feelings were completely valid.”

“I love you.” Jake sighs, leaning over to kiss her once more.

“I love you too. Now get some clothes on, our son needs us.”

+

Amy tells him all about Leo on the drive back to Rosa’s. He’s apparently a very happy baby, smiles at everyone - even when he’s cranky he will laugh for the sake of laughing.

He’s almost certain that Leo is the same baby Teddy had been bragging about months earlier, especially since learning the whole story. If Jake hadn’t been feeling so extremely exuberant about seeing Amy again, he would have definitely gone to where Teddy was being held and punch him a few times. One day he’ll tell Amy about those dark days, but he was about to meet his son, so it definitely wasn’t the right time.

Leo is screaming when they enter Rosa’s apartment hands held tightly. She’s the first to let go so she can rush to take Leo out of Gina’s grasp. Jake watches as Amy is quickly able to cool down the cries of the small child, and not a few moments later she has him giggling as she had told him. His heart fills with a newfound love he thought in his darkest days that he would never experience again.

But he is. His family standing right in front of him, and he almost feels like it’s a dream again before Amy beacons him closer and he takes in every feature, so he can never possibly forget this moment. “Hey Leo.” Jake laughs awkwardly, “Cool name. Um, I’m your dad. You can’t really understand what I’m saying but I don’t think that matters right now.”

Leo lets out a small giggle at his awkwardness, and Jake can’t help the enormous grin that appears on his face. Amy’s smile is just as bright, and she offers to hand him over. Jake feels awkward still when holding him, but Amy assures him that he’s doing fine and Leo seems comfortable enough.

Completely entranced by Leo, he doesn’t notice Rosa and Gina leave the room, and Amy is staring at him with utmost adoration. She then starts mentioning scrapbooking and catching up with family photos so they can really make up for lost time.

It’s not long before she cuddles up to his side, and both Leo and Amy fall asleep on him. He decides in the moment before he falls asleep, that if this were a dream, it was the best one yet.

~

It’s no trouble to delay Leo’s birthday plans. The next morning they spend together as a family, and Amy goes over his first year in photos and videos. It’s their chance to catch up more before they have to go back to reality.

Reality being telling her parents that she’s alive and has a baby. Dealing with the emotions of their grief over again, and having to explain how Teddy accomplished such a feat -

Overnight they had gotten a full signed confession. How he had planted the bomb, and taken Amy out in the midst of the chaos. Teddy’s plan of staying in New York for the months she recovered and to establish a sense of innocence. His deleting all their personal information online and having multiple burner phones to feign contact with her brothers as to not seem overly suspicious. He’d also explained how lucky he was that she had forgotten her relationship with Jake and that his plan relied heavily on any sort of memory loss.

- It was a lot for all the people in her life to take in, but they got through it. Christmas doesn’t help them settle as easy as they would want, but Jake becomes accustomed with his father duties and Amy settles back into New York. Their jobs at the 99 were still available for them to start in the next year - all they had to do was be ready.  

They deal with legal matters; Amy giving her full side to the story. Reliving it is painful now with her real memories and her real husband by her side. But Jake is there, and he’s supportive as ever.

By the new year, they were finally ready to celebrate their sons first birthday. Leo won’t remember this day at all, but they make a big deal out of it anyway. If her whole family, including Leo’s father, had to miss out on his first year then she would make it a big damn party.

Her entire family and their work family manage to fit into a cheap rental since it was too cold to host in a park. Even Christine drives down from Boston to celebrate Leo, and watching her with Jake truly emphasises the similarities between them.

Everyone knows the celebration is bigger than Leo - there’s tears and speeches and children’s games. There’s gifts for Leo then gifts for both Jake and Amy. It’s the wedding reception they never got mixed with Leo’s first birthday. The photos with the blue and yellow streamers and balloons in the background of a smiling family are the ones that are engraved in their memories forever - hung in their homes and sitting on their desks.

No one speaks of the grief they experienced, only of the joy the future holds for their family.

[delicatelyherdreams]

Teardrops on Lashes (Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After the Chitauri invaded New York and nearly ended your life, you moved to Bucharest to get away from the superhero stuff. You simply wanted an uneventful, ordinary life. But when a stranger moves into the apartment next to yours, you begin to question those aspirations and choose to risk it all for love.

Warnings: Mild Language???

Word Count:  2406

Teardrops on Lashes Masterlist 

Previous: Part 1

Next: Part 3

-------------------------------------------------------

“Nicole, I swear, it was like he stared into my soul his eyes were that intense.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh my lord you’re so full of it.” She took another sip of her coffee and laughed.

“No, really,” you insisted. “You should’ve seen them. It was ridiculous!” you burst into a small fit of laughter.

“Oh, I bet.” Her eyes trailed from your face to something behind you and her eyes narrowed. “Luca!”

You turned your head to see said boy who was inching closer to the pie you had brought over with a fork freeze like a deer in headlights. 

His eyes shot to his mother and he quickly scrambled away from the treat.

Another round of laughter shook your body. “You said you wanted a pie, you got a pie.” The pies, giving one to James, the thoughts just made you groan with embarrassment. “God, my Romanian was terrible. And he spoke English the whole time! I could’ve avoided the whole thing.”

She smirked. “Serves you right for not keeping up with practice. Maybe I should only speak Romanian to you; that would show you.”

“Oh god, please don’t,” you begged. “I’ll never be able to talk to you again and I’ll miss my best friend.” You pouted and leaned forward onto her table so your chin rested on the wood. 

“Oh fine, I won’t but only because some days you’re the only thing keeping me sane in this crazy world.”

You smiled in content. “I win. Besides, I know enough to get by and make purchases, I’m just not fluent.”

“Whatever, (y/n). When you end up kidnapped and the only way to save yourself is to speak fluent Romanian, I don’t want to hear it.”

You chuckled. “That’s not gonna happen.” Your attention was drawn away by the large grandfather clock as it chimed eleven tones. “But what is gonna happen is me going home and to bed. I still have to work tomorrow.”

Nicole nodded. “I’ll walk you out.” She stood and turned to her kids. “You three, get ready for bed while I take Auntie (y/n) out. Liza,” she said addressing her eldest, “Help Alexi into his pajamas, please, and I’ll be right back to tuck you all in.”

Liza, the only girl in the bunch, nodded and picked up her baby brother. She carried him off into the other room.

Nicole walked you over to the apartment’s door. “Thanks again for the pie. And sorry about your awkward encounter.”

You groaned. “Thanks. I just need to sleep and forget about it now. God I hope he doesn’t think I’m a weirdo.”

“But you are a weirdo.”

You jerked your head at the door. “But he doesn’t need to know that.”

She opened the door with a smile. “Goodnight weirdo.”

With a wave you exited her warm apartment into the cold hallway. You shoved your hands into your pockets to fish out your keys as you walked the fifteen feet to get to your apartment. They slid out of your pocket with a small jingle and you inserted the (f/c) key labeled “Home” into the lock. You pushed the door open and took a step forward. Your foot slid a bit under your weight and you stopped. Your gaze flickered downwards.

Beneath your foot there was a small slip of paper folded in half. On top, in handwriting that was surprisingly legible through all its sloppiness, your name was written. You bent over and picked up the note. 

Flipping it open you read, “Thank you for the pie. It is delicious.” It was signed simply with James.

For whatever reason, the fact that he had actually written you a thank you note brought a smile to your lips. You set the note down on your counter next to your keys before commencing your bedtime routine of changing into your best pair of pajamas and brushing your teeth and hair. 

By the time you were ready to sleep, it was way past your bedtime, and your body could feel it. You flicked off the lights in the apartment and made sure the door and windows were locked before padding over to your bed. You climbed under the heavy duvet and pulled it up to your shoulders. It felt like as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out like a light.

However, you were stirred awake in the middle of the night by erratic screams of panic and whimpers of pain. After the second scream you snapped wide awake. In your disoriented state, you couldn’t tell where it was coming from, at least not until you heard the whimpers coming from your east wall.

You acted on instinct as you stood and quietly walked over to the wall. Concern for your neighbor filled your mind as you assumed he was having a nightmare. “James!” you called just loud enough to where you thought your voice would pierce the thin walls. “James, it’s okay. You’re okay!” 

You continued to speak to him through the wall for a good five minutes, not knowing if your voice was reaching him or not. You didn’t know what he was dreaming about but you could only imagine that it was horrid from his screams. 

Finally, after a bit, he quieted down into what you could assume was his peaceful version of sleep.

You sat against the wall for a few moments more before deeming it safe to go back to bed. “Goodnight, James,” you murmured with a yawn and returned to bed, once more resuming your night of sleep.

On the other side of the wall, James was sitting up on his mattress in a cold sweat. He heaved deep breaths as he tried to control his breathing and steady his heart. The nightmares were just as bad here, if not worse, so why did he wake up? His question was answered as he heard a quiet voice in the dark.

“Goodnight, James,” it said.

His head perked up and snapped to the wall where your voice came from. His mind sped through thoughts of who it could be before matching the voice to the neighbor who had brought him the pie.

A wave of guilt washed over him. Had he woken you up? God he hoped not. He was trying to be as incognito as possible, and waking neighbors with night terrors was not a good way to do so. 

But as he sat there, he began to feel a little grateful towards you. He must’ve woken up when you started to talk to him. He had to admit your voice was pretty calming.

He pursed his lips as he settled back into his sleeping back. His thoughts trailed back to his neighbor and stayed there until he slowly drifted off into a quiet sleep.

The next morning you were rudely awaken by the alarm on your phone beeping angrily. With a reluctant growl you sat up and glared at the little rectangular device that was charging on the counter all the way across the room.

“Mhmm,” you muttered as you swung your legs out from the bed, “keep beeping and I’ll beep you.” You scurried across the cold wooden floors of your apartment and clicked the alarm’s stop button. When the room was finally silent agin you allowed your brain to relax and go over the previous night. You had woken up in the middle of the night for something, but you couldn’t remember what. You shrugged it off as a dog or something outside.

After glancing at the clock you began to go through your morning routine until you hit the last step of getting into your uniform. Thankfully it was only a red polo with the Cyrotechnics label on the breast and a shorter khaki skirt but it was enough to make you uncomfortable at the office all day and on the bike ride to the office. You worked at a computer company in the programming and security division having been pretty decent with the tech and a skilled hacker in college. You knew what to look out for and how to combat most hacking techniques. It was a decent job, and it allowed you a little extra money to do things like fixing up your apartment when you needed it. Plus, it had benefits which you wouldn’t have gotten working at the bakery on the block.

You scooped up your bag from its hanger by the door, shoved in your phone and charger, grabbed your keys, and walked out of your apartment.

Just as you were locking your door, the one next to you opened and out walked James.

He was dressed in a leather jacket with a blue shirt on underneath and a pair of black pants. A baseball cap adorned his head covering some of his hair and his gloves were still covering his hands. He paused for a second when he saw you before he fully emerged from his place.

Great, the neighbor you embarrassed yourself in front of just had to come out when you did. You considered not saying anything to him, but the neighborly side of you just wasn’t going to allow that. If you managed to give a hello to grouchy old Stefan whenever you saw him, you could manage to give one to his replacement.

“Good morning,” you said in the cheeriest voice you could manage this early in the day.

James nodded in acknowledgment. “Morning,” he muttered fitting his key into his lock.

“I got your note. I’m glad you liked the pie,” you said while internally wincing at your weak attempt to make some small talk. Gosh, was it this hard to talk to Nicole when you first got to know each other?

His lips twitched up. “It’s pretty good,” he responded simply.

Hearing his praise made a sense of pride that you didn’t understand fill your chest. Why did you care that this stranger liked the pie you gave him. You just chalked it up to  “Good, I’m glad.” You finished locking your door and turned to face James. “Well, if you ever need more, I’m right next door,” you offered without thinking. 

This time he spared a small smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

You nodded, not knowing what else to say. That was the part you hated most about new people: you didn’t know enough to keep up a conversation. It was time to take your leave. “Well, uh, I have to go if I’m going to be on time for work,” you said sticking your keys in your bag.

He blinked as if awoken from a trance. “Ah, right. Uh, well I should let you be going then.”

You nodded. “It was good to see you, James.”

“And you, (y/n).” 

You nodded and scurried past him to the stairs and quickly descended all the flights of stairs. You needed to get your bike and get going or you really would be late. Your boss would not like that one bit.

You exited the building and dashed over to the bike rack where your bike should have been. Key word: should.

In its place was the chain she had used to lock it up, cut and not holding a bike.

“Oh, no. Nononononono this can’t be happening,” you said in a panic. “Crap, crap, please no.” You rushed over to the chain and picked it up. The cut link dangled by a thread. 

James looked over at your panic. “What’s wrong?” he asked with a frown.

“My bike, someone stole it and I won’t get to work on time and my boss is going to flay me alive,” you groaned.

His brows creased. “Um, I don’t normally offer this, but, my motorcycle has room for two. I’m going out to look for a job and I can drop you off on my way,” he said halfheartedly.

You didn’t want to take him up on the offer, he looked uncomfortable even talking about it, but at the same time you had to get to work if you wanted to pay the bills. “Would you?” you finally asked after a bit. “I’ll bake you all the pies in the world if you do.”

At that offer, James smiled. “Just the plum will do.” He jerked his head towards the alley next to your apartment building. “C’mon.” He began to walk towards the space between the two buildings.

You followed closely, giving promises of pies for days in exchange for the ride.

He chuckled. “I’ll hold you up to those,” he promised. He stopped in front of a Harley Motorcycle with a helmet sitting on the seat. He picked it up and tossed it to you. “Put it on,” he ordered as he swung his leg over the bike and settled into the seat.

You did so without hesitation and climbed on behind him making sure your skirt was in place. “God, I can’t thank you enough for this,” you said under your breath.

He gripped the handlebars of the bike. “Just hold on.” He turned it on and revved the engine.

Just before the bike began to move, you wrapped your arms tightly around his torso.

The bike sped off and into Bucharest’s busy streets. James was a good bike driver, that’s for sure. He wove in and out of traffic perfectly.

“So where do you work?” he asked over the loud roar of the wind. 

“Cyrotechnics!” you called back.

He nodded and took a turn towards the heart of the city, and within minutes, you were pulling up in front of your office building. James pulled the bike to a stop on the curb.

You lifted the helmet off your head and shook out your hair to clear the severe case of helmet head you were sure you had. You handed it back to him as you climbed off the bike. “Thank you again, James. I’ll be sure to drop by the store and buy a new bike when I can so you won’t have to do this anymore.”

“Don’t worry about it. I was going out anyways. If you ever need a ride again, my bike will always have room for two.”

You smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind. See you later, James.” You shouldered your bag and walked into the building, only glancing back as you heard the bike rev and drive away. 

Teardrops on Lashes Taglist: @fuckthatfeeling 

[lickmeleclerc]

|Forbidden| T.H {Chapter 2}

Pairing: Mob!Tom x Mob!Harrison x Cop!Y/n (female reader)

Summary: Y/n Lewis and Neil Haas are partners working for the N.Y.P.D. A break in the case of the big time mob families throws them into an undercover operation. The Holland’s and the Osterfeild’s are close to an all out war against each other that could crumble them both and land them in a high security prison for life. A bond needs to be made, a truce to cool off the tempers and resolve their disagreements. Can Y/n and Neil bust them before its too late? How far will Y/n go to catch New York’s #1 criminals?

Warnings: Violence, language, possible smut, Mob actions ??

@cherryhollands for this mood board!

     Forbidden /adjective/ not allowed; prohibited

“I can’t sleep.” Tom mumbles laying on his back one arm tucked behind his head as he stares at the tall vaulted ceiling. Y/n sighs as she sits up and spins around to face the apparently wide awake boy. They’ve been laying in silence for a while, a comfortable silence. Tom felt peaceful, he didn’t feel on edge or as if he had to do rounds around the house to make sure all his men were still keeping watch by all the entrances and exits. He enjoys Y/n’s presence.

 “I guess the everything but the kitchen sink sundaes shouldn’t have included your impressive supply of energy drinks and alcohol. Bad combination.” Y/n finally replies to his comment as she pulls the white dress shirt Tom has loaned her to wear to bed down covering her thighs more. She noticed a draw full of normal clothing, like T-shirts and sweats but his cheeky nature handed her one of his expensive dress shirt. It was his funeral though, Y/n knew how to work it.

 “Don’t be shy love.” He comments at her actions and looks down at her leg as he sits up more still leaning against the headboard. “We are businesses partners now, we shouldn’t have anything to hide.” He finishes and pulls off his pajama top. The girl sat before him in his large bed gasps softly at his actions.. His abs made her jaw drop slightly and the definition of his arms was more impressive than some of her co workers. She blinks trying to hold her composure while her eyes cascade down from his to his toned stomach.

 Y/n moved from sitting on her  butt hanging her legs off the side of the bed to now holding herself up on all fours. She crawls toward Tom his causing his breath to hitch in his throat as he watches her.

 “Let’s get comfortable then, Mr. Holland.” She whispers against his lips, her plump ones ghosting his as she spoke. The close proximity and the formal name she’d called him flipped a switch in him. One of his large hands grabbed her ass pulling her flush against him her thighs on either side of his hips and his other behind her head pushing their lips together. Both their mouths were parted so they easily started wrapping their tongues around each other. Y/n tasted like the fruity energy drink with a hint of scotch. It’s a taste he’d loved to get use too. Tom tasted like strong alcohol, it was definitely making Y/n hazy. She had to will herself to not get too carried away, but a little more fun couldn’t hurt. She moves her hips to grind down on Tom’s clothed bottom half. He bucks his hips into her at the action. The dress shirt slides up her thighs more looking more like a larger shirt on her top half, rather than the dress length it normally hug at. Her ass completely showing along with her slightly sexy panties covering the parts Tom really wanted to get to.

 “Are you familiar enough now?” She asks as she pulls away her eyes feeling heavy from the steamy make out session as she lays a hand on his pec.

 “No.” He sighs leaning forward to capture her lips again but she doesn’t fully commit to the kiss this time.

 “I think I’m familiar enough for tonight”. She smirks and flips off of him laying beside him in the empty space. Tom licks his lips still tasting her and rolls his eyes.

 “Fucking tease darlin.” He murmurs and looks at her. His shirt too big on her and the fact she hadn’t cared to button it up all the way left her chest nearly exposed. She’d shed her bra along with her dress and her nipples were hard under the thin material and Tom’s dick was hard as he looked at her laid on her back eyes closed with the gap in the top teasing him.

 “What if I’m not familiar enough. I do need to get to know my new business partner.....intimately.” He whispers the last word in a husky tone as he leans over the top of Y/n and begins to kiss her neck. Her eyes open wide as she gasps, his lips landing on her sweet spot right under her ear.. He bites it softly trying to leave a mark. She grabs his muscular arm and hitch’s a leg around his waist. When he pulls away and moves to her mouth she starts to giggle.

 “God dammit Y/n De Luca you’re one special girl.” He says as he pulls away sexually frustrated but honestly laughing at the girl under him. If only he knew just how special.

 “I think this mark on my neck will have everyone thinking we know each other intimately. We need to get some sleep.” She finally defuses the heated moment and he nods leaning to grab his shirt again. “You can leave that off though.” Y/n winks as she turns on her side, her back facing Tom. He shakes his head with a laugh throwing the shirt off the bed.

 “Come here.” He mumbles after clicking the light off and pulling her to his chest by her waist. His actions make the now sleepy girl laugh but let him hold her. Tom sighs contently at their position, it’s been awhile since he’s had someone to hold. Someone he knows wouldn’t sneak out in the middle of the night or was just with him for the payment.

 Y/n stretches and stirs she feels a grip tighten around her waist and smiles at his actions but a headache has found itself in her temples and she squints at the bright rays of light seeping into the room.

 “Are you two ever going to wake up.” A stern voice calls throughout the room. Y/n’s eyes shoot open snapping back to her sense immediately reaching for her dress that lays next to the bed ready to grab her knife..

 “Harrison what the fuck are you doing in here?” Tom questions, he would have been on edge too if he hadn’t recognized the familiar voice. Y/n slows her actions and pulls the covers over her adjusting her hair. The white button up Tom had cheekily loaned her last night was riding up and some buttons had popped open in the night.

 “Well next time I’ll get to fuck the pretty girl you can-“

“Hey!” Tom cuts him off mid sentence at his demeaning comment about the girl next him. y/n takes note of his reaction surprised he made Harrison stop.

 “Well?” He questions giving a looming loom between the two. Their appearance did leave it to look as if they’d had a romp in the sheets last night even though it was just some playful teasing and one steamy make out. Y/n had others ideas in mind for his assumption though.

 “Oh come on Mr. Holland, he’s not wrong.” Y/n smirks going along with his comment as she steps off the bed scooping her dress off the ground in a swift action showing her ass off. Two pairs of eyes laid on her, well not her, but the De Luca her and that part of Y/n loves every moment. Something about portraying another person, not having to be herself is nice.

 “Uh um. Get dressed Tom.” Harrison speaks pulling on his collar as he clears his throat before exiting the room. Tom smirks shaking his head at her his curls fall on his forehead and into his eyes the hairspray wore off from his sleep. He can’t seem to figure her out.

 “Stupid dress.” Y/n mumbles as she slides it up her legs and around her hips, once it’s securely over her breasts she slips the loaned shirt over her head and saunters over to person of interest.  

 “Thanks for the loan.” Her eyes hold a hidden passion behind them. Tom takes a breath his mouth agape as he watches her. Damn this woman.

 “Keep it.” He quickly answers the same expression still plastered on his face. She stops and spins back around to face him trying not to lose eye contact and focus on his abs. “Something to remember me by.” He adds with a wink. Quickly thinking on her toes she holds in a snarky smile.

 “Oh Tom,,, how could I forget you.”

 The way his first name slips from her lips has him questioning the beat of his heart and the way his palms start to feel. He shakes his head and walks to the bathroom to get dressed for the day, if she could make him feel a certain way, he’d have to up his game. Weakness in this business doesn’t reap benefits, it’d make him a target and Tom Holland could not have a weakness, especially one so beautiful.

 Harrison rolls his eyes as Y/n enters the kitchen, the mess they’re left behind last night is nowhere to be seen leaving the kitchen looking untouched. She spots Neil sat at the large table with a spread of assorted breakfast items on it. It looks like something out of a gourmet food magazine.

 “Good morning.” She softly speaks directed toward her partner. He nods at her inquiring if she’s okay when he quickly notices the hickey. She rolls her eyes quickly and nods. Neil loosens from his stiff position and let’s a breath out. He wouldn’t be able to contain himself if he’d let his partner down.

 “Help yourself Y/n.” Harrison gestures toward the food. “I know you sure did last night.” He mumbles under his breath as he adjusts one of his diamond cuff links. Now if Y/n hadn’t been around jealous boys before she would of taken his comments as slut shaming but the way he grumbled about it was a sign of jealousy. She laughs and flips her hair over her shoulder showing more of her chest as she stands in front of him.

 “You know Harrison. I could show you a good time too.” As Y/n holds to her cover she loses her appetite at the words. Harrison holds a cold look his eyes flicking over Y/n before he walks out of the kitchen without a word. As she takes a seat next to sipping on a an already poured glass of apple juice her thoughts about the operation so far run through her head along with the headache. Neil  bites his lip at her comment toward Harrison holding back a laugh. He’d never been undercover with Y/n in all the years they've been partners but he’s very impressed with her commitment. Within himself he finds trouble sticking to who he is supposed to be. Almost slipping up and mentioning his new baby girl would surely raise questions and blow the siblings act going on.  

Harrison and Tom re enter the kitchen, tom is in a maroon suit with a black dress shirt underneath. He has the top three buttons left open with no tie. When he lays his dark eyes on Y/n looking sleepy eyed as she plates some fresh fruit along with some jam on toast. He notices she’s in the same dress as yesterday he can’t find himself okay with that and sends a message to his driver, Theo.

 “Okay. In five days a shipment comes in and with the extra million I, we I mean we, are able to add an additional grams of heroin plus the limited five firearms the seller disclosed to me are on this boat.” Harrison goes straight to business only drinking what looks like black coffee. Neil leans his elbows on the table with a nod, his 5 o’clock shadow showing in the light shining in from the kitchen.

 “I’m assuming you’d like us to be there? The more present will show our power.” He chimes in and glaces between his two superiors. Harrison and Tom glance at eat other trying to see what the each other is thinking. Tom wouldn’t mind having some eye candy but his impression of Neil so far leaves him planning to get rid of him soon. Harrison enjoys a new partner who is all about business like he is.

 “I don’t want to go to a gross warehouse.” Y/n chimes in testing the waters of how much surveillance they want of her and her brother. The three men around her smirk and remain silent for a moment as she continues looking down at her plate eating the fresh strawberries. Tom enjoys how innocent she looks, but he knows she must have a desire for danger to be here and even though their night together seemed innocent and fun but in the back of his mind he has to hold onto the warning his father gave; downfalls start with distractions and distractions happen in many forms, especially those with soulful eyes and gentle touches. The poetic words of his father ring in his ears but he shakes his head stopping them, he can control this.

 “We need eye candy to test the goods.” Harrison’s silky voice answers her, she looks up from her plate finally as the words register in her head even though it's aching still.

 “It’d be my pleasure.” Y/n thinks quickly on her toes, show no hesitations, stick to the role, dedication. The three key tips profiler Watson repeated multiple times to the pair stayed at the forefront of Y/n’s mind.

 “Do we need to prepare for anything else before hand?” Neil questions furrowing his eyebrows at the two British men his voice thicker from the syrup on his half eaten pancakes.

 “Yes, we’re taking you to the shooting range today and meeting with some men from the dinner last night. A deal fell through and they’d rather allie with us, the hierarchy, rather than try to build from the bottom up to overcome us. A smart move.” Tom explains popping a piece of cantaloupe into his mouth. Before Y/n can object that she should be allowed to tag along a muscly bald man enters the kitchen. Neil and Y/n look to Tom and Harrison for a reaction if he’s a threat or not.

 “The items you requested are in your room.” The man speaks and slides the dark sunglasses to the top of his head revealing a forest green eye and a dark brown one. The difference in eye color was more intimidating than Harrison’s piercing glare Y/n had unfortunately been the recipient of.

 “Darlin, follow me.” Tom clears his throat and holds a hand out for Y/n. She looks at him quizzically before taking it and following him out of the kitchen. Harrison signs an aged look on his face. Neil sees the tension now, Harrison is very focused on the work of this almost as if he has to prove something in this. He doesn’t live like Tom, it's a job to Harrison not a lifestyle like it is for Tom.

 Y/n and Tom enter the familiar room they spent the night together in but this time the floor is littered in shopping bags from expensive places; Coach, Gucci, Armani, Louis Vuitton, ect. Y/n’s eyes grow wide at the sight as she looks back at Tom.

 “There all yours darlin.” He smiles at her the look on her face has Tom satisfied.

 Oh you shouldn’t have!” She exclaims turning and jumping to wrap her arms around Tom’s neck, his strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her close. Y/n can smell his cologne and she takes another deep breath of it before they pull apart.

 “Well I think I’ll sit right here while you try everything on.” He smirks knowing what the bags contain as he pulls the chair away from the desk in the room and sits down unbuttoning his jacket as he sits comfortably awaiting the start of the soon to come enjoyable moment. Y/n looks in the bags each contains lingerie along with beautiful dresses, some cocktail shape others sundresses. She rolls her eyes once realization hits there's more lingerie than dresses and decides to save those for later. When her sparkling eyes land on the maroon material she knows the matching in outfits might boost Tom’s confidence, she’s done well to keep that in mind and isn’t going to stop just yet, he needs to open up to her. Speaking of opening up Y/n opens his medicine cabinet in the bathroom eyeing the pill bottles inside, nothing eye catching just normal painkillers and extra toothpaste along with a box of condoms. Someone like him, this life tells Y/n he wouldn’t hide his secrets in plain sight; everyone checks medicine cabinets when snooping it was worth a shot, leave no stone unturned.

 “Oh Mr. Holland.” Y/n sing songs as she excites the bathroom. He’s relaxed posture in the chair leaves his legs spread apart, as if he’d been imagining you exiting in some of the assorted undergarments he’d picked out for you his eyes were already lust filled.

 “How can you make a dress sexier than a bra and thong princess.” his words are husky and she slowly walks over to him not saying a word. Y/n straddles Tom’s waist and leans close to his ear her lips running over it as she speaks the cold air hitting his skin gives him goose bumps that stay hidden under his jacket.

 “I know how, I’m not wearing any.” An audible moan leaves his lips and he can’t help but grab her waist tighter at the thought. She moves to slide his jacket off a rustle of paper in his pocket rustles and she catches a glimpse of an address. 1876 Scotts lane, New Zealand. As Y/n continues to seduce the mobster she repeats it over and over in her head so not to forget. Tom relishes in the moment with Y/n thankful to have someone to blow off steam with. After leaving open mouth kisses on his neck and feeling him relax to her touch she pulls back.

 “I think we should save the rest of this for tonight, we have formal business to attend to.” She speaks looking deep into his eyes, She needs to get the address written down soon even though it feels imprinted in her mind. He nods begrudgingly and they both return down stairs.

 “Can I have a minute Tom?” Harrison asks before they reach the first floor, with a nod Tom and Harrison enter the room Y/n wanted to keep an eye on once she arrived here, only catching a small glimpse of the inside she concludes that's where all the serious business goes down.

 “Okay I got an address.” Y/n whispers to Neil as she takes a seat on the large leather sofa by him. He looks surprised at his partner that she already got something within the first two days. She explains its way out of their jurisdiction but to be speaking with someone over seas it could lead to disbanding not just the Holland’s and Osterfield maybe others to. Neil scribbles it down in the back of his notebook and Y/n decides she’ll make contact with her chief about it.

 “I’m worried about the pick up, I don’t think it sounds like a good idea.” Neil explains and Y/n looks at him quizzically. He sighs before continuing.

“Some people in on the buy are bailing out without reason and it’s in a new drop off point that no one has been too. Tom is assured no one will mess with them and it’ll be fine but I don’t think he’s being smart about it-”

 “Are you calling me an idiot Neil?” Tom’s stern voice rings through the living room, Y/n and Neil turn quickly to face the two who have exited quietly. How much have they heard? Tom has clenched fists as he walks in front of Neil grabbing him by the collar of the knock off dress shirt. “I don’t appreciate your lack of trust Neil, maybe it is time you get put in your place.” His jaw is clenched and the fire behind his eyes would put the fear into anyone's bones.

  “I’m sorry Tom I shouldn’t of said anything. I trust your families and I wouldn’t consider pulling out of the deal.” Neil works to defuse the situation. Tom has a gut feeling Neil is no good and the anger can’t be contained as he draws back an arm with a clenched fist and swiftly punches Neil in the face. Y/n stands and gasps but before she can get to her partner a man in steps in front of her gripping her arm tightly holding her in her place.

 “Think about that next you want to question us.” Tom glares at Neil who holds a hand to his bleeding cheek, his already starting to swell as he walks back to his office slamming the door. The expensive painting hanging on the wall swings from his actions, all Y/n can think about is getting to Neil.

{Tag List} Ask to be added: @beautiful-holland @secretly-spider-man  @lovelyh0lland  @quitetommy  @dancerwriter @painted-soulss @petalparker @strange-down-here @tomshufflepuff @holandjmc  @alicia5833 @ive-got-some-lies-to-tell @amren-rhyssecond @plethoraofpuppies @fairydustparker @uh-stray-lee-ah  @spideysmood @parkerstan  @bb-bucxy @nillebrein @spideykisses

[snelbz]

Prompt because I can never have enough angst in my life: Elorcan modern AU where they get in a fight and one of them leaves the house with hurtful words thrown at each other, one of them is severely injured somehow?? Idk really

This was only supposed to be like 1,000 words, oooooooooops.

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“I just don’t understand why you’re so angry! I didn’t do anything!”Elide and Lorcan were in the kitchen of his small apartment, the latter leaning on the counter with his arms crossed across his chest, while the former had her thin arms braced on the table.“Oh, please,” he spat at her. “This Luca guy wouldn’t continually ask you out for no reason. You’ve never even told him about me, have you?”“Of course I have, Lorcan!” She said, spinning around to look at him. Her arms fell to her sides helplessly. “Every time he asks me to hang out after work, I politely tell him no, because I have you.”He growled, “Maybe I need to tell him, and not so politely.”“What were you even doing there?” She asked.Lorcan ran a frustrated hand through his long hair. “What? Am I not allowed to visit you at your job?”“You are,” she sighed, “But you kind of ambushed me.”“Ambushed you?” He asked, his voice raising. “I was trying to surprise you! I was-.”Cutting him off, she asked incredulously, “Were you checking up on me?”“For the last time, NO!” He roared. “I just wanted to come surprise you. But then I walk up and I see that asshole had his hand on your arm and then you, you actually touched his chest! And I hear him telling you about how he’ll take ‘good care of you’ at the party on Friday night? What party, Elide? Huh?” A humorless laugh left his mouth. “On second thought, maybe I do need to check up on you at work.”“I’m not a child, Lorcan.”“You could’ve fooled me.”“And,” she said, ignoring his comment, “you don’t own me.”With his long legs, it only took three steps until he was standing directly in front of her, towering down over her small frame. He grasped her left hand and held it up, letting the light catch on the diamond ring encircling her finger. “Do you see this, Elide? It means that you are mine, and only mine. You are not my possession, but you are mine, to protect, to care for, to love.” He let go and her hand dropped limply to her side. Turning around he walked to the fridge and opened it, grabbing a beer and popping its lid off.“Baby, I-.”“Just get out, Elide,” he cut her off, not turning around to look at her. “Go home. I need to…think about some things.”Her breath caught in her throat. He’d never asked her to leave. In all the years they’d been together, they always worked their fights out. “Lorcan-.”“Get out.” He growled.Breathlessly, voice shaking, she asked, “What do you need to think about?”“Leave, Elide. Now”Silently, Elide grabbed her keys off of the counter and her purse from the kitchen table. She walked to the door and with a hand on the knob, called to him, “I love you.”Nothing but silence answered her from the kitchen.————————-Lorcan knew he had overreacted.He knew he was an ass and that he should never have asked her to leave. He didn’t need to think about shit. He loved Elide Lochan, and she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. The happiest day of his life was the day she had agreed to marry him.This Luca prick at work was going to have to stop though. He texted her non stop and apparently had been asking Elide out every week without fail. He may need to make a stop in on Elide’s next day off.For the thousandth time that night, he rolled over and looked at her empty side of the bed. By now, her inky black hair would be draped across her pillow. Her clothes would be in a heap at the end of the bed. Her small frame would be curled up against his. He ran an exasperated hand down his face.He fucked up and he knew it. He rolled over and picked his phone up off the nightstand. She hadn’t texted him even once, hadn’t called him. He expected that she would’ve texted as soon as she got home, but she must have been pretty upset with him. She hadn’t tweeted or posted on Facebook or anything, which led him to believe she fell asleep as soon as she walked in the door.He could hear her cries in his head and he felt like a piece of shit for causing her pain. Swallowing his pride, he sent her a text.“I’m sorry. I’m a jealous ass, but I love you more than my own life. Call me in the morning. I love you so much.”He watched the little, blue bubble send off and waited for it to read “Delivered” underneath. Hell, maybe he’d get lucky and it would show up as “Read”. If it did, he’d call her. He’d blow her phone up until she answered and he’d apologize for being the piece of shit fiancé that he was.But it never delivered. The blue bubble turned green as it sent as an old school text message. Lorcan’s eyebrows rose and he decided to call her, to see if he could fix this now. It immediately went to voicemail. Her phone must have died.Sighing, he rolled over and put his phone back on the nightstand. He’d fix this in the morning. He’d go see her in the morning and he’d make everything right. But first, he needed to get some sleep.————————-There was a pounding on his door. Lorcan sat up and jumped out of bed, grabbing the 9mm he kept on his nightstand, next to his badge. The banging continued. A look at the clock on its surface told him it was just after two in the morning.Popping the safety off and loading one in the chamber, Lorcan crept through his apartment until he got to the door, where the pounding was still happening. A glance at the peephole had him groaning and setting his gun on the small table Elide had distressed and placed by the doorway. He swung open the door to reveal his partner dressed in his blue uniform. “What the hell are you doing here, Whitethorn? It’s two in the gods damned morning.”“Lorcan, we need to go, now.”Immediately, Lorcan was on red alert.“What are you talking about?”The man in front of him, the man he’d known his whole life and worked with on the force for over 4 years, that was pain in his pine green eyes. Pain and pity.“It’s Elide.” His heart stopped. “Lorcan, there’s been an accident.”————————-Rowan was just starting his overnight patrol when he got a call over his radio about an accident involving an overturned vehicle on South Terrasen Rd, headed towards Adarlan. Since he had just made a stop nearby, he radioed that he was close and turned on his lights.As he approached the accident, he turned his spotlight on and his heart dropped into his stomach.An extremely familiar car was wrapped around a tree, upside down.Rowan had pulled over friends and family members in his 4 years with the Erilea Police Department. He’d had to arrest former classmates and people that he knew. He’d even had to escort funerals of people he’d known his entire life. He’d never had a problem putting on the mask that made him “Officer Whitethorn” and staying professional. Until tonight.He jumped out of his patrol car, screaming, “Elide?!”He sprinted towards the wreckage, calling her name, listening for her to reply. He heard nothing.Grabbing his radio at his shoulder, he called out, “This is Officer Whitethorn, I need paramedics to the accident on South Terrasen ASAP.”He reached the car, just as his radio went off. “How many passengers?”He got on his hands and knees to look into the car and almost vomited due to the fear coursing through his veins.Elide was hanging from her seat, held in by her seatbelt, thank the gods. However, her arm was crushed between her body and the door. It was twisted at an unnatural angle and he could see a bone piercing through her forearm. Blood was trickling from her head, originating from a wound he couldn’t see in her hair. She was unconscious. And he couldn’t tell if she was breathing.He radioed back to the dispatcher, “One female passenger, I can’t tell if she’s unconscious or de-.” His voice broke. “Deceased.”The radio clicked back. “Standby.”Grabbing at his shoulder, he called back, “Dispatch, I’m going to attempt to remove her.”Silence met him.“Officer Whitethorn, wait for assistance. Erilea Fire is on the way and-.”“The passenger is Officer Salvaterre’s fiancée.”More silence. A new voice came through the radio.“Are you positive it’s Elide?” The usually confident voice was shaking.“It’s- it’s her, Manon,” he said, wiping the sweat that was starting to appear on his brow.“Did you say deceased?”He closed his eyes. “I- I can’t tell, she’s not in good shape, and I-.” He paused and had to collect himself.“Get her out of that gods damned car, Rowan. I’m calling Aelin.”He took that as permission and sat on the ground, leaning back on his hands. With Elide unconscious, he didn’t have to warn her to look away. Pressing his boots against the passenger window, he brought his legs back and smashed his feet into glass. It shattered, sending shards everywhere in the car. Elide didn’t so much as twitch.“Elide?” He called out, hoping just maybe she would hear him and wake up.Crawling into the wreckage, he reached a shaking hand to her neck and felt for a pulse.He waited, his body going cold.There. There it was.It was weak, so faint that he could barely feel it.“Manon!” He called over his radio.“Go, Whitethorn,” Asterin’s voice called back.“She’s alive, but she’s fading fast.”A silent pause met him. “An ambulance is close, less than a mile away. Can she hold on that long?”“I don’t know,” he replied. “I haven’t even gotten her out of the car yet. I just got her pulse.”“Continue on, keep us updated.”Elide’s left arm was crushed by the door, her right hanging below her body. He had to do this carefully. One wrong move and she would fall from her seat and that could be it. He ran a finger along the seatbelt, and that’s when he noticed blood on her abdomen.A shard of metal from her mangled door was jutting directly into her side.“I can’t get her out,” he said into the radio. “She has a laceration on her left side. Wreckage and shrapnel. I don’t know if it’s hit anything major. I can’t risk cutting her down without an ambulance here.”Manon’s clear voice called back to him. “It’s almost to you. Asterin is tracking them. The EFD should be pulling up any second.”“10/4.”Rowan did the only thing he could think to do. He took Elide’s limp hand in his own and prayed. He prayed to every god and goddess he could think of, regardless of what they were the deity of. After a moment, he heard approaching sirens and crawled out of the car.The engine parked and men jumped out. In the darkness, they all looked the same and he couldn’t point a single one out until he heard “Whitethorn!”Running over to the Captain, he passed the other men and relayed the information he’d discovered to them. As he approached, Chaol grabbed his arm. “Is it really Elide?”Rowan ran a hand through his silver hair. “Yeah, it is. It’s not good, man.”“Have you called Aelin?” Chaol asked.He shook his head. “No, Manon said she would. I need to let Lorcan know though.”Chaol’s chestnut eyes were somber. “Go. Fenrys and Gavriel are on their way.” An ambulance was pulling up and a second patrol car was behind it. “Get out of here. I’ll call you if anything changes.”Rowan clapped the man on the shoulder and ran to his patrol car. Getting in, he dialed the number of his oldest friend, trying to figure out how he was going to tell him what had happened. He didn’t answer. Hanging up, he dialed him again. No answer. He left a voicemail.“Man, I need you to answer or call me back immediately, it’s an emergency.”He sent him a quick text saying the exact same thing.Turning the car on, he tried to dial him one more time. As he pulled away from the accident, glancing at it in his rear view mirror, he sent up one last to prayer to anyone who was listening.————————-By the time Rowan and Lorcan pulled up to the hospital, Manon had called Rowan, letting him know they’d had to cut Elide from car. They’d taken her to the hospital and she’d gone immediately into surgery. Not only had her arm been destroyed, but there was bleeding and swelling on her brain and her common iliac artery had been severed by the wreckage.Lorcan hadn’t said a single word since Rowan appeared at his door and he wasn’t about to push his friend to speak. Had the roles been reversed, Rowan didn’t know what he would’ve done.They sat in a silent waiting room, as one by one their friends filed in, in various states of emotion. Aelin and Lysandra were barely holding it together, where Manon was a stone wall of strength, the only indication of her fear being the vice grip she had on Dorian’s hand.Lorcan’s elbows were braced on his knees, his hands knotted into his long, black hair. Every now and then, his friends would hear a quiet sniff come from him, but for the most part, he was a shell of his normal, sarcastic self.Bits of every conversation floated over to him.“When did it happen?”“I wonder where she was going.”“She got off work at 10:30, I don’t know why she was out so late.”“Why wasn’t she at home?”“Because of me,” he whispered, and the waiting room went silent.“What?” Aedion asked, Lysandra’s hand held tightly in his own.“She wasn’t at home because of me,” he said again, dragging a hand through his dark hair and tying it in a knot at the back of his head. Faint tracks could be seen from tears that had slipped down his face. “We- We had a fight. It was stupid.” He pulled his hand over his face, wiping the tears away, sniffing. “I told her to get out. I made her leave. And now…” He trailed off, and the warrior broke down. No one had ever seen Lorcan cry. Elide was the only who had ever been able to break down his walls.Manon stood up, taking careful steps across the waiting room, and stopped in front of the broken man. He glanced up at her.And a silver tipped hand smacked across his face.The waiting room erupted into chaos. Dorian pulled Manon back across the room as she started to yell at Lorcan, who just sat there, blood pooling from the thin scratches she’d left on his face. Aelin stood up and got in Manon’s face, Rowan quickly grabbing at her to pull her back to her seat. Aedion, Lysandra and Asterin stood back ready to grab someone and drag them out if need be.“Excuse me?!”The group of friends silenced and found a stoic man standing by the entryway to the OR, wearing scrubs.“Which one of you is Mr. Salvaterre?”Lorcan’s head snapped back up and he stood. “I am.”“I need to speak with you.” With that, he walked towards the desk, away from the group.Lorcan watched him walk away and felt a small hand squeeze his own. He looked over to Aelin and nodded, before following the doctor.“How is she?” He asked, stopping in front of the man.“I’m Dr. Emrys Mistland. I’m the chief operating physician tonight.” He held out a hand.Lorcan took his hand and shook it but didn’t say a word, waiting for the man to answer his question.“Sir, were you aware that your fiancée was 7 weeks pregnant?”Lorcan felt like he’d been punched in the gut.“She was pregnant?” He stopped. “Wait, was?”The old man looked at him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m afraid there wasn’t much we could do, with it being that early. We had to make the decision to focus on Elide.”“Is she okay?” Lorcan asked. “Is she awake? Can I see her? Can I talk to her?”Dr. Mistland gave him a sad look. “I’m afraid there’s a chance that Ms. Lochan won’t wake up. Not for a while, at least.”The world was falling out from under Lorcan. He was going numb. He listened to the doctor, as he explained Elide’s multitude of injuries, and how they’d stabilized her, but he only heard parts of what the man was saying.His Elide. His fiancée. The mother of his unborn child. When she’d left, she’d told him she loved him and he didn’t say it back.And now he might never have the chance.————————-Four days. It had been four days since he walked into this hospital at 2:30 in the morning. Lorcan hadn’t left once.Aelin and Manon and even Aedion had offered to stay so he could go home and shower, so he could get some good sleep.“I’m not leaving her,” was his response every time.Everyone had come to see her by this point, and with every passing day, more and more flowers were piling up. Cards were dropped off. Through out it all, Lorcan never left her side, never let go of her hand for more than a few minutes.He cradled her left hand so carefully, running his thumb over the empty spot on her finger. His other hand reached up and fingered the mangled engagement ring he had slipped onto his necklace.Standing, he brushed her dark hair back and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He headed down to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. He called Rowan to let Aelin know there’d been no change this morning when the nurses came in to check her vitals. Making his way back down the hall, he noticed the door to Elide’s room was cracked open. He knew he had shut it when he had left.Quietly easing the door open, he found a man in his early twenties looking over Elide’s flowers at the window, his back to Lorcan. As he stepped inside, the door creaked and then man whirled, a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a card in the other.“Can I help you?” Lorcan asked, instantly going on his guard.“I, uhm,” the younger man stammered. “I work with Elide. Everyone wanted me to come drop this off.” He held up the card, and set it on the table with all of her flowers, cards and other gifts.“And those?” Lorcan asked, indicating the flowers.“I wanted to drop them off,” he said, blushing. “Are you her brother?”Lorcan was seeing red. This was him. This man was the cause of the whole situation they were in right now. If he would’ve just taken no for an answer the first time, the fight never would have happened, and he never would have asked Elide to leave that night. She never would have wrecked. They never would have lost their baby.In a clipped tone, he said, “I’m her fiancé.”The color bleached from Luca’s face. “Her fiancé? She wasn’t kidding?” He took a step back, away from the man who was almost a foot taller than him. “I thought that was just something she was saying, I never thought she meant it.”Lorcan closed his eyes. He took a few deep breaths. There was nothing that he wanted more than to beat the hell out of the kid standing in front of him, but taking the high road, he said, “I think you need to leave.”“I- Uh.” He looked up into Lorcan’s murderous eyes. “Okay.”Without another word, he dropped the flowers on his chair and left the room.Making his way back over to the chair, he picked the flowers up and carried them across the room, dropping them into the trash can next to the bathroom door.“Surprised you didn’t beat his ass…”He spun around and saw Elide’s dark eyes were opened slightly.“Elide,” he said, his voice cracking, and he ran to her. He carefully placed a hand on either side of her face, resting his forehead against hers. “I thought I lost you,” he cried.“Not that easily,” she said, so quietly he could barely hear her.“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so gods damned sorry, Elide. I never should have told you to leave.”“You did nothing wrong,” she rasped, her good hand coming up to weakly grip his wrist, her thumb stroking the skin there.“I love you so much,” he said, unable to stop the tears at last. “When I found out what happened, the only thing I could think of was the fact that you told me you loved me when you left and I didn’t say it back, and I would never get to tell you how much I loved you again.”“I wouldn’t mind being reminded a little more often,” she joked, and he barked out a broken laugh.“Every single day,” he promised. “Every single hour, every single minute. I’ll make sure you know just how much I love you.”And for the rest of their days, he would.

[lukeysgirl]

The Note Tree ❋ L.H. Pt.11

Part E L E V E N 

Summary: A cherry blossom tree, residing at the farthest part of the schools courtyard. Nobody dwelled there, and you didn’t care much for it. Until you kept hearing one song played over and over, with lyrics changed to touch at your curiosity. They knew you were listening, and one day you gave in and made your way to the pink tree. Waiting for you, a series of notes tied to a single strand of string.

Word Count: 7k+ (jesus wtf)

AN: VERY IMPORTANT GUYS: this might be the last part i release before i enter uni and find myself incredibly busy with class so i am so fucking sorry for that. i wish i could keep writing this consistently and finishing by maybe november but it might be a little longer than that. to those who love TNT: ya’ll are amazing and im so grateful for all the support and love ive gotten for it. im also just so sorry to disappoint, and will try my best to update them as timely and well-done as i may xx 

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.

I M A G I N E 

Thursday - Frozen Day

“You’re so careless!” Savannah lectured, tapping your head in scolding while you sat there and took it. 

For the trip, the teachers had forced all the seniors into the gym at the very moment everyone stepped into the school. The gym, though newly renovated and shiny, was disgusting. The glossed, light-brown (wooden) planks of the floor were ornate with splotches of dirt, dust, and residue of athlete sweat. There were several basketball hoops around, with two scoreboards on the width sides of the gym. Those black scoreboards were off and collecting cobweb with the ceiling emitting super white lights down to practically blind you. 

But that was the least of your worries. 

“Des, if you keep offering me your breakfast burrito, I’m going to bash my head against the wall,” you huffed under your breath, having Des continue to wiggle the said food in front of you. You and the girls were huddled in a corner, with you in the very corner, slung down and allowing your large Thrasher sweatshirt to swallow you. Des had been to your right, sitting in a pretzel with Alexis to your left with her legs folded the same. Savannah sat like a princess, as she chose to wear this long, floral skirt because it matched with her beige crop top. 

“Have you eaten?” Des asked, completely skeptical of you. 

“Yes.”

“How can I believe you?” 

“By trust my word?” You suggested. You understood they were worried and you understand fully well how careless you are. But this was just absolutely uncalled for and unnecessary. “I ate a bagel with raspberry cream cheese and orange grove orange juice.” 

“It sounds like you went to Starbucks.” 

“I did.” 

“Bitch, with what money?” 

“Someone came in clutch,” you replied simply, not necessarily wanting to get too deep. Des stared at you wistfully before looking away, knowing you hadn’t want to say another word more. You looked over to see Alex begin braiding her long, brown locks and you began to randomly wander about Luke and how he dealt with his blonde hair. 

Does he wake up to it being messy? Or is it always curly when he wakes up? Can he put it upwards in some sort of quiff? Is it long enough for a man bun? Oh boy, why the fuck did you even care? 

What about Luke’s hair do you give a shit about? It aggravated you how much your mind played this useless games. Luke has somehow weaved himself into most things you look at. You see video games being broadcasted outside game shops and think about if he had an Xbox or a Playstation. Sometimes when you saw kids play little league sports at parks, you wondered if he’s played any real serious sport. Truth be told, it was bothering you and gave you a headache than you already get when you interact with said boy. 

“Seniors!” Announced a teacher at the dead center of the gym. You didn’t bother looking up, too exhausted to divert your eyes somewhere other than the ground. “If you’d like to see who chose you and your groups camp schedule, come on over!” 

Immediately, you heard people rise with feet dashing the glossed ground over to the center of the gym. A cheap plastic table was set up with folders of papers, likely the schedules and whatever the hell else the man was saying. You were quick to mute him out as you fiddled with your thumbs. You didn’t care enough to see what group or what the schedule was. You just wanted to get it over with. 

“I’ll get the schedule for you,” Alexis hummed, giving your shoulder a squeeze before your three companions rose from the ground and slowly made their way to the lines of students. You sighed, already bored to be in the gym, wasting time by sitting around and not even getting a wink of work. Of all things, you hated not being productive. 

“Y/N.” A familiar male voice sounded through, his figure casting a shadow over you. Being swallowed up by it, your eyes glanced up only to emit a deep sigh before diverting down to the glossed ground. 

“Go away,” you spewed, distaste already dancing on your tongue as Nathan took a seat beside you. You tossed a glance only to find Nathan swallowed up by navy blue sweats and some yellow shirt representing a college you couldn’t exactly make out from your angle. But aggravation soon drowned you as Nathan sat down in a pretzel and scooted closer to merely brush your shoulder with his own. “God, why me?” You breathed, looking up at the ceiling in hopes someone from the skies heard you. 

“You know Y/N, you can’t be cold like that forever,” Nathan pointed out, having you roll your eyes in how little you cared for Nathan’s words. “You might get denied form several jobs in the future if you’re that brutal.” 

“I’m only cold to you because you serve no benefit to me,” you said quietly. “If it’s an employer, of course, I wouldn’t act this way.” 

“You’re a breathing glacier with valid reason,” Nathan hummed, having you still stone-faced before Nathan flicked his wrist to present a sheet of paper to you. You looked at it curiously, taking it from him to read its contents clearly. “I found out what group you’re in, and I was hoping you could do me a favor so I can return a favor.” 

Your eyes dilated, seeing your leader assignment that was the one and only: Luke Hemmings. You figured you were going to be in his group, hence why you hadn’t bothered putting in the effort to beg to Ashton. But you had some hope that maybe one of the boys would give you a little sympathy, regardless of being Luke’s friends. Now you were to suffer greatly on a trip you initially wanted to bail on. 

“What gives you the upper hand to even ask that of me?” You grumbled, knowing as fact Nathan has some sort of ‘threat.’ 

“Are you sure your head didn’t fall on the floor?” Nathan hummed curiously, having you glare over at the chestnut-haired entity. “It seems your intelligence lost a few bolts.” 

“Fuck off and tell me what you’re trying to exchange.” 

“Well, I’m just gonna tell you what I want: to be in Lucas’ group,” Nathan began, having you raise your eyebrow. You weren’t gonna respond, assuming he was going to continue and hopefully finish. “Not only to be around you, but to make sure you’ll be okay.” 

“Oh, and you care over my well-being?” You began sarcastically. “Oh wow, you must think you’re such a good person for caring over a girl like me.” Nathan grinned at this, attempting to dismiss it with an unhurt smile. But you knew in the very curls of his lips the slight pang of pain from your cruel words. 

“I don’t trust that asshole taking care of you any better,” Nathan began quietly, his veined hands clenching onto his knees. “He’s gonna be responsible with 22 others to really dedicate time for you. You know this, Y/N.” 

“I don’t need people looking after me, alright?” You spat. “I’m 18, I’m responsible of my own damn self. Enough that I can take care of myself.” 

“Your nurse’s trip yesterday says otherwise,” Nathan contradicted in a hush tone. You flinched, refusing to meet his gaze as your eyes stared at the shining floor. If you could punch the boy, you would. “No sleep, no food, no water in your system? I dunno about you, but to me it seems like you can’t take care of yourself too well.” 

“Just shut the fuck up already,” you grunted, pulling your sleeves more over your hands as you tugged at them with your hands. “You don’t know shit about me.” 

“I know that your home situation isn’t great,” Nathan dared, having you close your eyes. Just go away, you thought. Just fucking get away from me already. “And if you think I’m being pushy, imagine how Luke would act if he knew.” Right then, your heart stopped, eyes wide and completely laid upon the chestnut-haired imbecile. 

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you growled. “You wouldn’t-- you said you were selfish, that you were glad Luke didn’t know.” 

“Well sure,” Nathan hummed as he leaned a little back. “But I see how Luke annoys you so I figured this exchange would be reasonable. I keep my mouth shut and you get the honor of having me have your back.” 

“I feel like I don’t win as much,” you hummed lowly, your eyes diverting up to study the mobbing group of students seeking their papers. For Nathan to keep quiet and keep Luke at bay, he’ll be in your group for the desire to be near you and watch over you. The entire situation was idiotic, you knew. But you would rather ‘burden’ Nathan with the responsible he refuses to believe he doesn’t have than Luke having it. You still disliked both, but your favoritism resided with Luke if ever the question was put out there. 

“It seems like you would rather much have me annoy you than Luke,” Nathan said with ease. 

“That still makes you annoying, dumbfuck,” you spat, rolling your eyes a bit as you emit a quiet yawn. This frozen day was finding itself to be worse than you honestly expected it to. But you glanced over to see Nathan muted, simply staring at you wistfully. Likely waiting for a response. “...But fine, Holland, okay. I’ll ask Luke. But if he refuses, that’s completely beyond me.” 

“Fair enough then,” Nathan dropped before rising to his feet again. You felt his shadow cast on you once again, his eyes down on you as well as you merely looked up at the boy. “But I do expect you to try, you know.” 

“Ha,” you uttered dryly, watching as he turned the heel and escaped towards the hoard of people. 

Boys are stupid. Boys are stupid and obnoxious, and absolutely one of the things that you didn’t need. You didn’t need anyone, really. But it was really heartwarming to have the girls you did have around. And, you suppose you could give some credit to Luke for being considerate, even when he’s annoying, flirtatious, unnecessary, and moronic. 

“Y/N, you are right!” Des chirped, having you look up to see the 3 infamous ladies return with their papers. She quickly dropped herself beside her, her braids bouncing from the impact as she showed you her paper. “I’m with Calum!” 

“And I’m with Michael.” Savannah mewled with a fond tone. “And Alex got in with Ashton.” 

“Told you guys.” You allowed those girls to sit back in their seats and exchange bubbly words about the plans and what not. You’ll be reading Luke’s group schedule later as you were growing a slow and steady headache. Nathan and this entire keeping a secret was bothering you. Not because you felt guilty about not telling Luke, but feeling like an idiot to have Nathan know at all. You feel more like an idiot to fill yourself up with such strong poisons and lose your mind. 

I should’ve just walked alone from the party, you hummed to yourself. Not even-- I should’ve just not gone. Stupid Luke and his stupid ‘I owe you.’ 

“Ah- I’m in Luke’s group!” A shrill scream suddenly popped you from your self-loathe and discipline to look up and see Nadia wave her paper around in the middle of the gym. Chatter quieted down from this but they still resumed as she flaunted it about to the girls around. And, hilarious enough, the girls’ shoulders drop in disappointment, seeing as they likely wanted to be in his group, too. You shoulders only fell because Nadia was stuck in your group and you really didn’t want to be anywhere near her. The thought even impulsed you to deflate her just a bit. 

“Nobody fucking asked,” you said firmly, loud enough for the words to wash everyone over like a wave. The quiet chatter soon became almost silent whispers as Nadia turned over to you. Her red hair danced from the very action, her entire body swallowed up by a pink-like beige sweater and a brown skirt. She glared down at you, her poppy seed pupils dilating by the small shock that it was you who uttered the words. 

“Look who’s feeling bold today,” Nadia hummed, her 1-inch heels clinking upon the shiny floor as she began making her way to you. You looked up at her, entertained a bit as her shadow was slowly arriving to cast upon you. “What’s wrong, sweetie? Did you not get into his group?” 

“Sorry to burst your ego, Princess,” you spat, opening your paper to break the air to show it to her. “But I’m also in his group. I don’t give enough of a shit, and you have no reason to brag because that’s just you among the other 10 girls with us. So sit the fuck down, alright?” 

A few ‘ooo’s sounded, pairs of wide eyes and surprised expressions floating in your periphery as you looked up at the redhead. She looked a bit embarrassed, her cheeks lightly tainted pink as she waved your paper away. You put it down and shrugged, looking away to see your girlfriends look at you with surprised, wide smiles. 

“You’d best watch your tongue with me, Y/N,” Nadia growled, gritting her teeth together as she leered down at you. “I’ll make your camping time a living hell if you say anything smart like that.” 

“More of a hell than the one I’m currently living?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise. You then chuckled, looking down at the paper loosely between your fingers with delirium. “I’d honestly give you an applause if you could manage that.” 

“Is that a challenge I hear, Y/N?” Nadia hummed, haivng you look up to meet her eyes. Hers were dim, but yours held a dark intimidation that made her eyes flicker with hesitance. But she seemed determined, more or less, to fuck up your time. Before you could counter, Des quickly rose and placed her hands on her hips. 

“Bitch, I dare you to try it,” Des huffed, a splash of attitude leaving her tongue. “You touch my girl at all during that trip and I’ll personally stick your ass up in a tree for an entire damn night.” 

“Great, don’t tell me the ape is in our group, too,” Nadia slurred dreadfully, having you widen your eyes as Des was pulling up her sleeve to pack in a punch. But Savannah and Alex quickly got on their feet and grabbed her before she could dare do a thing. 

“You better watch yourself on that trip,” Des growled. “I may not be in your group, but my ass will switch if I gotta punch you mute.” You chuckled, shaking your head at Nadia’s audacity. You leered up, seeing how she glared down at you as if you’ve done wrong. Quietly, you crumpled the paper and stuffed it in your bag before forcing it on and getting yourself up. 

“I do really feel bad for you, you know,” you hummed as teachers quickly began to rush over to the scene. “I understand that you genuinely need attention to live, and that’s something you can’t help. But I think you shouldn’t do it by picking at others. Especially people who aren’t afraid to give it to you, because I know Des will punch you to another reality. Unless you’re a masochist, then please, be my guest. Fucking swine.” 

“Y/N, out,” a teacher scolded, having you shrug as you sauntered away from the girls and Nadia to leave the gym. Which was fine with you, really, as you didn’t like the smelly disgusting gym to begin with. But when the teacher escorted you out, you met eyes with the control in your mind. You groaned, rolling your eyes in actual disbelief as you began walking down the corridor. “Console your group member, Hemmings.” 

“Will do, sir,” Luke replied, his voice growing distant as you stomped away. You weren’t agitated, you were just pretending to be. Nadia was annoying, but it’s difficult to set you on the edge of vexation as you kept marching away. You could hear Luke’s kicks jog on the floor as his hand made it to your shoulder. “H-hey, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, actually,” you hummed. “Just pretending to be mad so the teachers think I’m an angry, troubled child.” 

“Okay, but why were you sent out?” Luke asked, his hand still on your shoulder. You were waiting for him to force you to face him, but he didn’t. He just kept his hand there, probably one of the most gentlest gestures you’ve ever actually received by a boy. 

“Ah, it was all Nadia, truly,” you hummed, listening to Luke groan in disappointment. “She began flaunting over the fact that she was in your group, so I told her that nobody asked and so she came over and started something. It was only right for me to continue feeding her energy to strengthen her pettiness. It’s like an RPG, Luke. You only get stronger if you fight.” 

“Yeah, but you do learn better strategically if you pull back from fights that you don’t need to take on,” Luke replied, having you shrug. It was a fair answer, you had to admit that much. Not that you’d tell him though, or else you’d be feeding to his ego. And God knows inflating that ego only made you wither. 

“Anyways, we argued some, I said a few bad words, and now I’m out here,” you spewed simply. You then turned, looking up to see strong jawline, sharp nose, blue-eyed devil Luke Hemmings stare down at you worriedly. You actually flinched, unsure as to how to take this. He needn’t words to get your heart racing, and that was something you weren’t too down about at the moment. 

“You better not be like that on the trip,” Luke warned softly, having you raise a brow up at the blonde before you. “I put her in our group because I thought it would be good if you two tried to get along.” 

“Me get along with Nadia?” You asked in genuine astonishment. “Has the Devil split the ground in two and risen from the deep depths of hell? Has God finally descended from the clouds to tell everyone? What is this life?” 

“Y/N, I’m serious,” Luke insisted, his frown deepening as he led you over to lean on the cold, metallic lockers. “I doubt you want to graduate knowing you had a grudge on someone.” 

“I don’t have a grudge on that imbecile,” you huffed. “She’s the one being a bitch to me and the least I can do is defend myself. What gives her the right to be a cunt to me when I haven’t even done a thing to her?” 

“You’re rather cold to her, Y/N--.” 

“You mean the way I act to everyone besides Sav, Des, and Alex?” You spat, leering up at the blonde. Luke gulped harshly, quickly quieting down as your point evidently dissolved into him. “I don’t need to get along with Nadia because I don’t need her in my life at all. So don’t start forcing me to do something that neither I nor her want.”

“I just want to help you--.” 

“Want to help?” You spat immediately, having Luke flinch, his face paling up as he looked down at you. You blinked a few times, staring at him to allow the gears in your brain to turn. “Put Nathan in our group.” 

“What the fuck? No,” Luke immediately dismissed, having you scowl at him as he looked away, slightly vexed. There was something swimming in those ocean eyes, but you couldn’t really hint at it if they weren’t staring directly at you. “Absolutely fucking not.” 

“Excuse me, but I’d like to enjoy myself when we go to the forest,” you hummed. “I want him to swat away all the mosquitoes, or get stung by them instead of me. I’m sorry, but rashes aren’t my thing.” 

“I can do that for you!” Luke insisted. 

“You’re the leader, dumbass,” you huffed, shoving his chest gently. “They need to make sure you’re fine and running well-- you can’t be holed up taking stings for me. Just let Nathan do it so I come back rash-free.” 

“Y/N,” Luke growled. “He’s a nasty person, I don’t want him in my group spreading his bullshit around.” 

“He’s going to be pining over me, he’s not going to be spreading no bullshit.” 

“That makes me more adamant, Y/N,” Luke huffed, rolling his eyes while still refusing to face you. You sighed, annoying that you were forced to actually put in a good amount of effort into getting the other vexing person in your group. Clenching the hold of your bag, you rolling your eyes and stomped your foot. 

“Why do you even hate the guy?” You began. “Your jealousy over him is invalid, so something has to give. Why do you hate Nathan?” 

Luke tried to emit something in response, but found himself frozen and speechless. His upper, pasty cheeks tinted a light pink as he dragged his tongue along his rouge lips. You could see how hesitant his was, the distance in his eyes indicating how rapidly he had been thinking. They were even getting clouded before he crossed his arms over his chest in distress. 

“That’s not important right now,” Luke muttered sheepishly. 

“Right, okay,” you sarcastically replied, somewhat in disbelief from Luke’s stubbornness. “Just get him in our team.” 

“Or else what?” 

“Or else I’m going to tell you to fuck off the entire trip,” you threatened, having Luke’s eyes divert to yours (finally) to flare up in jealousy. “I’ll ignore you when we have breaks for chat, sit as far away from you during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I won’t be bidding you goodnight before I sleep.” 

“Cruel!” Luke blurted, obvious pain dancing in his face as you shrugged. He knew he couldn’t test you, you’d keep your promise in your words. That’s just who you were, even if you didn’t exactly want to avoid Luke. His shoulders slumped, his blue eyes losing its color for a moment before letting out a strangled sigh. “Fucking fine, I’ll transfer him.” 

“Wait, seriously?” You hummed in disbelief, looking up to see disgust in his face as he nodded slowly. You swallowed, mouth a little dry as you chewed on your inner cheek. “Well shit, okay.” 

“But I’m never leaving you two alone,” Luke huffed angrily. “I don’t trust Holland, and I swear if he does anything with you--.” 

“Will you stick him up a tree for an entire night?” You questioned, reminding yourself of Des’ backlash with a smirk on your lips. Luke bit on his bottom lip, contemplating the finishing sentence as he nodded. 

“Sounds about right, yeah.” You giggled, having Luke raise an eye in puzzlement before shrugging it off. He lent you this extremely warm smile, one so gentle that it was intimidating. You looked away, letting out a small sigh as you allowed silence to seep in. But right then you decided to pop it. 

“Anyhow, thanks for the ‘scolding.’“ You curled both index and middle fingers you own in the air. “Can I go back now?” 

“Mm, I dunno,” Luke hummed, watching as he bent over and got his face close to yours. You stiffened, trying to counter his attempt to embarrass you by glaring at him. The tip of his nose was tempting to just meet with yours, knowing that if he did, a spark will somehow surge through and make you jump. “I don’t like it when you’re not around.” 

“That sucks,” you huffed. “You’re just gonna have to deal with it.” I don’t like it when you’re not around. Luke honestly couldn’t give your head or heart an actual break. How inconsiderate. 

“I already do when you’re not,” Luke hummed woefully. Trickles of vexation surged through when listening to his down tone. You didn’t like it, it was too unlike him. “I’m supposed to be in the gym now anyways” 

“Yeah?” 

“Gotta flaunt my leadership and meet all the members,” Luke hummed. “I chose some pretty chill people, so you shouldn’t be too bothered or irritated by them.” 

“Oh geez, did you select them in my favor?” You wondered, “because I’d definitely have to counter that, considering Nadia is in our group.” Luke was quick to bring his hand to the nape of his neck to give his lower curls a scratch. 

“Like I said, it’d be good if you guys could try and get along,” Luke hummed awkwardly. You looked into his azure eyes long and good, flickering your pupils about as he stares directly back. But his irises slowly thin with the widening of his own pupils, having them a little shaky. You were grasping at possible guesses, hoping to find a better reason than the one he insists. 

“Is it because you feel bad for her?” You hummed, looking ponderously in his eyes. The oceans dim, his pupils divert itself elsewhere awkwardly, “oh, that must be it! I wonder why...” you practically sang, going up to catch Luke’s chin with your hand. His eyes go back into yours, lightening up only a tad, “If you’re gonna lie, at least give me a good, believable reason as to why you’d add the Devil reincarnated into our team.” 

“You’re quite good at digging, aren’t you?” Luke praised, evidently a little vexed at your skill. You smiled in triumph, letting him go to back up from him once more. 

“Years of practice,” you murmured, not too fond of the skill but just enough. Pursing your lips together, you studied Luke for a moment before looking back at the menacing gym doors. You changed your demeanor and quickly pulled in the Puppy Eyes, “wanna get out of here?” 

Luke got easily caught,  his heart halting at the very sight of you. You had plead and beg in those mystery swirls, not caring if it seemed so unlike you. It was so unlike, but you have to do some hard shit to get what you want sometimes. And if this was it, you were more than prepared to do something so simple and only slightly degrading. But Luke easily succumbed, “destination?” 

“Away from the gym,” you murmured, having Luke look at you skeptically. But it was obvious he was surprised at your question. Him out of all people? You’d rather go somewhere with one of the girls. But Luke had a bit of superiority now, so you figured he’d be able to get you out of the tiring confines of that gym. “Just follow my lead, yeah?” 

“Y/N, what’re you--.” Before he could do anything, you began to yell. 

“She’s such a fucking bitch, I can’t handle her!” You growled, your face grimacing with pure heat in your words and eyes. A few teachers idling about looked over worriedly, eyes peering in curiosity. Luke widened his eyes, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders as if to hold me back. “Let me go back in there and give her a damn smack on the mouth! Disrespectful bitch!” 

“Uh-- calm down, Y/N!” Luke spoke over you, a little awkward at first but assertive. It was believable enough, you thought, as you continued shifting angrily in his hands. You did press pressure, requiring the appearance to make the teachers actually believe it as the assistant principal got close. 

“Is everything alright, Mr. Hemmings?” Her voice rang, having Luke nod as he continued to hold you. You allowed searing growls to leave you, leering at the teacher to have her flinch only slightly. It was amusing to be considered a cold being around the joint. 

“Yes, it’s alright,” Luke hummed, “but I think I need to chat with her for a moment. Mind getting another professor to go over the schedule with my group? I really need to speak to Y/N as she disagrees with the selection of my team.” 

The teacher merely nods, having Luke nod from his glance before turning back to you. You continued to act rabid, having Luke grab you by the wrist and begin tugging you out of the hallway. You made sure a string of curses stayed behind your legacy as Luke dragged you away. As he did, you looked at his sturdy back and noticed a paper stickied onto it. No fucking way... 

Removing it from his back without him noticing, you jog behind him with your freehand, you shakily open the note and reveal its contents. 

‘I’m a huge cryer. Once I had been away from my mom for about 2 days, and I had sobbed within the first 3 hours of the trip. It’s really bad, but I just miss people a lot when I’m away from those I love -H’ 

He’s adorable, you thought to yourself as you stuffed the note into your pocket. It was annoying that you didn’t know who he was, but learning about him through these small notes was fascinating. You were discovering a real person, either some shy boy who was this cute, or a jock who keeps these as secrets from the public view. It just made you so curious as to who this person was, and it itched at your mind. 

A question though: how the fuck did he get the note attached to the back of Luke R. Hemmings? 

“Hey,” you sounded to Luke, who continued to lead you away. But he slowed down when far enough, having you appreciate the gesture greatly. “Where are we off to?” 

“Away,” Luke replied, having you take the answer as you let him take you to wherever away was. 

You found yourself in your English class, vacant with papers and chewed up yellow pencils sprawled about. 

“I hate this class,” you hummed, slowly sauntering over to the fern chalkboard as Luke walked along the rows of tables by the door. Your fingertips dragged along the words, taking away the colored chalk in the letters and words jumbled about, leaving dashes and holes all around. “I love English, but this class is so slow that I’m ahead,” you hummed, looking around to see the big lesson soon which is ‘Love prevails all.’ 

“Keep in mind that you’re you and everyone else isn’t,” Luke said fondly through chuckles, “everyone else doesn’t have such a smart, easily interpretative brain like yours, Y/N. You’re far too unique to be in the crowd of copies.” You smiled at this curtly, still staring at the green entity to conceal it from his view. 

“I try,” you admit, bringing your hand before you to see your fingers dirtied with the white powder. “But sometimes I do wonder at what cost...” 

“Elaborate?” Luke asked kindly, always willing to lend ears. 

“I mean,” you began, clearing your throat a bit, “I’m very happy to be where I am currently with 3 amazing people as my friends, but they’re always out having a blast at those social gatherings while I keep my face stuck in a textbook.” 

“Nn,” Luke hummed in comprehension, “so you think you’re missing out?” You nodded, looking distantly at the small bookshelf that was at the end of the chalkboard by the windows. “It’s too late to get out there, you know.” 

You scoffed, smiling a bit at his words, “you’re far too optimistic, Luke. We’re already in our senior year-- my 3 years are spent and my last one is already looking to be spent.” 

“That’s because you’re trying too hard in a year that doesn’t matter so much,” Luke snorted, having you immediately snap your neck to face the blonde boy by the back of the classroom. 

“Pardon you, but I’m trying to get myself in a good university,” you snapped, “it doesn’t matter if my grades ‘don’t count’ this year. I’m always going to do my best, to not only prove it to everyone else but to myself. To prove that while everyone else is the same, I’m... different.” 

“Weren’t you just complaining about that?” Luke hummed curiously, having you look away again, studying the textbooks collecting dust, “the only rabbit in the turtle race.” 

“Well, I want to be a little both?” You chimed almost suggestively, “I mean, I definitely won’t let go of my studies for even a second, but maybe I can let loose just for a few hours every weekend? Not so late like your venue concert, but I mean, just a bit of time away from home. B-but I also don’t to seem like a slacker or some party animal...” 

“I kind’ve get what you mean,” Luke began quietly, having you glance over to see him saunter to your desk, “like that’s the side of you that you want to keep and have it exist but not be the entirety of you.” You gave Luke a lingering stare, seeing the way he looked wistfully at your desk and brushed his fingertips along the scratched in gang names and doodles. 

“R-right, yeah,” you sputtered, somewhat surprised at how understanding Luke was. It was like he himself was in the same shoes, but that couldn’t be possible, could it? He was the popular guitar player in a band who goes to parties and has girls constantly swooning over him. He indulges in attention and is said to be the life of every party he steps one single foot in. “Does that sound crazy or somethin...”

“I think it’s cool,” Luke mumbles genuinely, his tender words quickly making your heart race, “you want to stay true to yourself to everything while still experiencing something that’s out of your comfort. It’s really rad, ‘n I respect that.” 

You smiled at this, feeling a little better as you slowly made your way towards the boy, “you’re actually not that bad, Hemmings.” This quickly caught Luke’s attention as he snapped his neck and had his blue eyes widened and fixed on you. No words came through just yet, but his bewilderment was quite the sight, “chillax, I’m just saying you aren’t as much of an ass as you always act.” 

“N-no it’s not that,” Luke stuttered, both large hands covering his face as he looked away. You stayed at his back, confused as those curls perfectly fell down the nape of his pale neck. You wondered what happened, wanting to step closer without stepping on a border. “It’s unusual for you to be candid in such a sweet way-- it caught me a little off guard.” 

“Don’t get used to it,” you huffed, “it’s not gonna happen often, and this might end up being a one time thing.” Then, suddenly, Luke chuckled after your words, and you couldn’t help but lighten up. His laughter was always so gentle and warm, like a morning dew of a summer morning, with bells dancing along with the wind current.

“I won’t,” Luke assured, turning around to show his cheeks only a little bit tinted with pink, “but I like this you-- this raw version. Just makes me fall even deeper.” 

“Fucks sake,” you scoffed, looking away to shake your head in disapproval, “don’t even begin with calling me candid when you’re especially so. You’re not in love with me.” 

Luke let that hang for a moment, having you feel his blue eyes stare at you as he held a smirk. You looked over at the window beside your seat, reminding yourself of the stalker. The Note Tree, the assumed title of the song this random boy wrote for you. Always changed, 30+ days worth of one lyric change that had always kept you wondering how his eyes was always on you but you could never coincidentally meet them. You emit a sigh, somewhat vexed at everything and the stalker and the boy before you with a warm smile and beautiful ocean eyes. 

“That sucks,” Luke hummed, “because I am very much in love with you and proud to be incredibly deep in. I’m practically by the center of the earth-- it’s beyond boiling point.” You shook your head, chuckling at how much of a dork he was. 

“So what should I do about it?” You sounded, rolling your eyes over to see him gnawing on his bottom rouge lip. You wondered curiously at his face, seeing how he hasn’t even faltered a single bit. 

“You’re a good digger, aren’t you?” Luke pointed out, “dig me out.” 

“Oh yeah?” You made your voice just a bit higher, with your eyebrows following and your eyes meeting his with annoyance. “How do I do that? My personality is one that makes everyone run away so I have no idea how to dig you out.” 

“Well, that’s the thing then, isn’t it?” Luke said quietly with a curt, kind smile, “you can’t. Your digging skills only reside in things you know, but you can’t understand my love for you. So there’s nothing you can do but make me sink deeper and deeper,” Luke spewed with more passion, moving closer to you, and oh my, “until my heart is bruised with your name. It’ll throb lovingly with eternal colors that I’ve only seen when I’m with you or you’re dancing about in my head.” 

“I...” you began, looking away completely. You were flushed. Red-faced, red tinted, completely scarlet with no control whatsoever. That asshole is absolutely impossible. “...Fuck off, Luke.” You shoved him back, getting out a few entertained laughs from the blond dolt. 

“Never,” Luke practically sung, having you grumble as you took a seat on the desk in front of yours and leaned your back against the closed window. Luke followed, hopping on your desk as you looked distantly at the empty hall through the door. He noticed the wistful expression on your face and spewed quietly, “you okay, Y/N?” 

“Mind singing me a little something?” You immediately replied, indirectly looking over to see his feet move forwards and backwards like he were on a swing. They suddenly halted from your words though, as you felt his eyes likely on you. He was silent, speechless possibly, “what’s wrong? Can’t do it without your guitar?” 

“N-no,” Luke stuttered, his hands clenching around the edges of the desk as he sat forward with his lanky back slouched. “It’s just... didn’t think you’d ever ask me to sing you something.” 

“Want me to take it back?” You threatened. 

“No!” He immediately stopped you, having you smirk as you began twiddling your thumbs. You didn’t say anything further, having Luke guess to sing anything he’d like. You don’t have requests so long as you heard his voice. His singing voice is not bad, you honestly admitted. “You’re dripping like a saturated sunri-hiiise--” He chose Halsey, what a guy, “-you’re spilling like an overflowing sink. You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a master piece, and now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink-- come in with me, Y/N!” 

“I don’t sing,” you exclaimed in slight bewilderment, looking over to see pure optimism and encouragement. “I’m not that like, good...” 

“But I don’t care,” Luke hummed, having you frown, “I want to hear all of you, every single way you can use your voice. So singing is one.”

“You pervert, that consists of a lot of sound I can make--.” 

“Everything is blue!” Luke sang-screamed, having you flinch, but giggle it out before joining him. “His pills, his hands, his jeans. And now I’m covered in the colors pull apart at the seams-- continue it for me, Y/N.” 

“I swear to god, Luke--.”

“Y/N.” 

“And it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo,” you sang the stretched out word, having you feel completely embarrassed as you sung, “and it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo...” 

“Everythin’ is grey-- his hair, his smoke, his dreams,” Luke sang, his voice raspy and pure, completely raw and absolutely doesn’t need a guitar to help him sound better. He was fantastic, as he deserves to think and know so. “And now he’s so devoid of color-- he don’t know what it means! And he’s blue.... yeah, he’s blue...” 

“You were red,” you began with the bridge, your voice as dramatic as it could be as Luke began to sputter out laughter. You clenched your chest with your hands, “and you liked me because I was blue...” 

“Then you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky!” Luke yelled with you, the both of you raising your arms with glee as you turned to face each other. “But then you decided purple just wasn’t for you.” 

“And it’s blue-oo-oo-ooo,” Luke finished quietly, refusing to go through the whole chorus yet again as you stared at him wistfully. It’s those kind of moments you dream of having: the ones where you can be absolutely silly with another who is just as silly and indulging in it completely. But it’s with Luke and somehow you aren’t mad about it. You’re looking into those blue eyes and noticed just how blue they were. And by God, they were so blue-- so blue that you could fucking drown in them and you had high doubts that Luke had his lifeguard license. 

“Ah, sorry...” you quickly spewed an apology, looking away to distantly return yourself to the vacant corridor. But Luke only let out another laugh, one more lower and genuine, so warm and tender that it greeted your heart kindly with a dose of adrenaline. 

“And you still wonder why I love you?” Luke began, scoffing in disbelief as your cheeks flared up in scarlet. “Can this be our song? So when we get married, we can play it and remember this day.” 

“Luke!” You exclaimed, slamming down on the wooden table. “Slow your damn horses-- you’re way too optimistic about your future.” 

“I don’t think it’s optimism,” Luke said honestly with a smirk. You turned to stare at him, seeing the way he looked up distantly to the ceiling, his blue orbs still. “I know what I want in my future, and I know I want you innit all, through-and-through.”

You allowed the silence to take you over, as you were at a loss of words. So much so that you adjusted your bag on you bag and hopped off the desk. Luke followed, refusing to utter a word as you gestures to the space before you. 

“Y/N?” 

“Grab my wrist and walk us back to the gym please,” you murmured, shyly unfurling your hand as you offered it to him. You could tell he was a bit awestruck, considering this was very out of your nature. But Luke had just done something that you will never forget, even if you wanted to, and somehow-- somehow, you aren’t angry at all. 

“You’re so sly,” Luke chuckled out, his hands with mountains of callouses and rough skin taking your wrist. It was a more delicate hold, much more gentle and not rushed. It felt really sweet and genuine, like he was savoring it all. “Let’s go.”

With that, you allowed the blonde-haired monster take you away, fully flushed and unable to shake off the sudden new speed your heart took on. 

you already know what to do, inbox is right here and please don’t hate me for the super slow updates aha xx 

[bubblejen-o]

can I try again? || m.l

summary: it’s summer yayy!! it’s also very hot and you just want to drown in ice cold water, but neighbour!mark comes up with a great idea to distract you from the heat.

warnings: kinda suggestive at the end, a few curse words and this totally went off track from what i had imagined

neighbour and dancer!mark x reader || additional characters: Lucas, Chenle

🌱listened to this and this while writing🌱

“Today’s highest peak is estimated to be at around noon. We advise all citizens to use the least amount of water possible due to...” the TV was running in the background, while you were brushing your hair on the couch.

It was probably the hottest day you had ever experienced and it was not pleasant. At all. You had just washed your hair and were hopelessly brushing them, knowing they’d get fucked up from sweat in a matter of hours.

It’s not like you hated Summer, you hated being all sticky and tired to do anything. You were going to finish all the university assignments piled up on your desk last week. Yeah, that never happened.

You stopped brushing your hair, which now looked weirder than before. You started checking your phone for anything to distract you from the heat. Not even NCT's new post was satisfying enough to catch your attention. At that moment you hear a loud bump followed by a weirdly loud screech.

“Can she stop fucking putting the bags here jeez” you hear coming from the hallway outside your apartment. You went to the door and opened it, curious to see who it was. You find an agonizing Mark sitting on the hallway’s floor with his hands around his left foot, massaging it. He noticed you and quickly stood up, brushing off his shirt.

“Uh, sorry! You must’ve been bothered by the noise haha. I just, I-I bumped into these bags and it hurt, so like yeah anyway... sorry!” Mark mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. You noticed the shopping bags on the floor. The old lady living next to you would always leave them in the hallway full of food and pick them up later for God knows what reason.

“How did you even bump into the-” you started but stopped to think, “nevermind, I think I don’t even want to know”

“Yeah, better not” he laughed and you did too.

Mark was one of your neighbors. He went to a dance or music academy or some sort of artsy thing like that. You had also met two of his friends: Lucas and Chenle, a very weird couple of friends, but still. Mark was cute and you’d hear him practice almost every night. You didn’t know him that well, but you did know he was a very talented and hardworking young man.

You had forgotten you were still in the hallway and the situation was getting awkward.

“Oh well, try not to bump on anything else. Have a great night, see ya” you said, flashing a smile and immediately regretted it given the fact you looked like shit. You had forgotten about your hair and the state of your clothes and just went out like that. Well, this is embarrassing.

“I’ll try, but can’t promise anything” he joked and damn why had you never noticed how cute he looked with his glasses on. Totally irrelevant, but the sight of him was suddenly making you feel some kind of way. He was wearing a red shirt, slightly unbuttoned and his neck was very exposed. Your mind started to wander in areas it shouldn’t have, so you quickly recomposed yourself and was ready to get back inside.

You quickly waved him off and got back in. You immediately checked yourself in the closest mirror and shit were you looking like a dead fish. You sighed, making your way to the couch on another adventure to find a distraction. You could’ve finished all the assignments in the meantime, but again, let’s not. Two hours had gone by since your morning encounter with Mark and you were wondering if he was doing anything more interesting than you. You don’t know what was going on in your head, but you suddenly found yourself texting Mark like that wasn’t the weirdest thing you could’ve done at that moment,

[11:34] You: Yooo hey! I know this might look weird but like are you busy?? I really need something to do please help:(((

You sent it, trying not to feel nervous. Since when had you become this bold, Miss.

Surprisingly, you received a reply very quickly. You stared at your phone’s illuminated screen and was ready emotionally to face rejection, but what you saw was totally different from what you had imagined. [11:37] Mark: heyyy I mean if by busy you mean trying to get some work done but failing then yeah totally busy!!!

[11:37] Mark: how about you come n help me tho?? I kinda need some help... nothing heavy jusy some light help and opinions haha

[11:38] Mark: just*

Better than nothing, right? You rapidly typed a reply and tried to be a bit more presentable. After you’d fixed your hair and changed clothes, you got out of your apartment and headed to Mark’s. You knocked on the door patiently tapping your right foot. Shortly after, Mark opened it and let you in.

“Long time no see” he laughed and you smiled. That was lame, but somehow still cute.

“Yeah, feels like ages” you replied. He motioned you to move from the entrance and go to his couch. His laptop was thrown on it and there was a camera on a little stool facing the couch. He noticed you staring and quickly started moving it.

“Oh this, I was recording myself for a dance assignment” he explained and you nodded. Not like he owed you an explanation anyway. You sat comfortably on the couch and he moved the laptop out of the way.

“So, what work were you talking about?” you asked and he got his laptop again typing something on it. He showed a seemingly dance video on the screen. There were two people: one of them standing in the middle and the other one dancing around them. You were confused, to say the least.

“I have to recreate this and I really need someone to be my partner. You just have to stand in the middle and act as a helper, in a way. It’s really nothing complicated” he explained and you started laughing. He looked at you trying to understand your sudden behavior.

“Me???Dance? I look like a fish out of the water, so I don’t know if this was a wise choice, Mark Lee”

“No no no, you really don’t have to do anything special. It’s just a performance tool. Pretty please, I really don’t want to practice with my lamp again” he pouted.

“Your what now?” you asked imagining him dancing around a lamp.

“Don’t ask any questions” he sighed, “so? please?”

He was practically begging you at this point. Darn it. You threw your hands back in defeat.

“Okay okay, if that makes you happy. Your video will turn out shit because of me, just watch” he laughed at the last remark and suddenly grabbed your hand. He brought you to the center of the room and put his laptop back on the couch facing you.

You spent a couple of hours practicing over and over. Actually, Mark spent hours practicing while you did some weird arm movements and changed position from time to time. It wasn’t the most exciting activity you had ever thought of doing, but it was nice. You felt good and he was making it worth it. The only thing you didn’t like was that you were sweating. You weren’t even moving much, but just the mere physical activity mixed with the heat made you want to collapse and never wake up.

There was a particular move during the dance that made your face unreasonably hot. Mark had to spin around you and put his hands in front of your face. After that, he’d have to bring his hands lower until they were holding your waist and bringing you down on your knees slowly. That was the ending part. It was very cool, but what was not cool was the feeling you had every time he would do that. You had to admit that at some point you did actually think of him doing the exact same thing to his lamp, but that thought was too short.

It was already 7pm and you had no idea time had passed that fast. You had already recorded the final piece he needed to turn in and were now sprawled on the couch.

“Ugh it’s so hot I’m dying” you whined, putting one hand under your shirt and shaking it, attempting to freshen up.

“Yeah the only way you could escape is taking your clothes off,” he said mindlessly. He didn’t realize what he had said until you laughed. He blushed, mentally punching himself.

“I did not-I didn’t mean it like that” he whispered following a nervous laugh. He was flustered and damn did that make you feel good.

“It’s okay I got it. I’m not the first one to take their clothes off usually anyway” you teased and he looked at you, his stare fixed on your face.

“Mhm, what a coincidence! I don’t take my clothes off first either” he commented back. He really didn’t have to.

“You should probably make an exception then” you were now getting closer and he was slowly letting go of his laptop. Were you really about to [redacted]?

“Give me a reason why I should” his tone started getting more teasing and his voice became deeper.

“You might regret it later” you were now basically stuck to each other. Your back suddenly crushed against the couch, Mark’s lips getting closer to yours. You were breathing so heavily someone might’ve thought you were a dog.

“Maybe I need one more reason” his right hand caressing your cheek, he pushed himself over your shorts. You groaned and shut your eyes unintentionally.

“Mark, just please...” your voice could hardly be heard. His lips started touching yours when the door abruptly opened. Mark immediately got off you, head turning around ready to cuss out whoever interrupted.

“Dude the fuck?! Since when? Also, lock your damn door ” Lucas’ voice was one of the last things you wanted right now. Behind Lucas’ tall figure, Chenle’s head peaked.

“What were you two doing?” he asked. Lucas laughed mumbling something like “rip next time let’s knock”.

“Nothing, we were just. We were... what are YOU two doing here??” Mark was having trouble forming a complete sentence and both Lucas and Chenle started laughing hysterically.

“Bro chill, are you that flustered?” Lucas asked and that made you giggle.

“Anyway, move your ass. You’re needed at the studio” Chenle explained quickly, pretending to wipe off a tear on his face. “We’re so sorry mademoiselle!! We will let you finish your business next time”

You shook your head getting up from the couch.

“Well, I’ll see you around,” you told Mark, grabbing your phone you approached the door.

“See ya” you greeted Lucas and Chenle. You closed the door behind you and sighed when you were alone in the hallway. What kind of bad luck is this?

You jumped a bit from a sudden adrenaline rush and emitted a dumb little scream thinking of the events before the two idiots interrupted you. You reached your apartment and went straight to bed. You opened your phone ready to text Mark, but he had already done it.

[7:47pm] Mark: uhm now I kinda regret it not taking off my clothes first, so can I try again?