#me writing this post instead of working on a presentation for tomorrow. call it good time management

[djinn-ale]

me thinking i liked taao and then realizing that i only thought it was good because i focused on the parts i liked about it and skipped over literally everything else

[waitmyturtles]

A little bit more on I Feel You Linger In The Air (reincarnation, the novel version, and more)...

I am back home and recovering from a somewhat INSANELY stressful work trip (WHEW! TIRED!), and I've missed writing meta oh so very much, BUT! A couple of things will be happening in my meta life soon: The Old GMMTV Challenge Bad Buddy Meta Month starts next week (FINALLY, EEE!), Last Twilight starts tomorrow, the Den-Panuwat-penned-and-Only-Friends-adjacent series Playboyy starts next week -- we got a lot going on.

AND, AND! AND! I did myself something good while I was away. I HOUSED the novel version of I Feel You Linger in the Air, because, BECAUSE! I still can't help screaming mentally about that finale -- even though reading the novel actually made me realize that episode 12 of IFYLITA was a touch redundant.

Related to the IFYLITA novel and series: I got an ask in my inbox that somehow disappeared (@porjomkwan, if you're still out there -- thank you for the ask!) that asked about my thoughts on the theme of reincarnation in IFYLITA, and cited this fabulous post and reblog by @tipsyjaehyun and @clairedaring about this theme. Tipsy and Claire covered the majority of the ground that the drama series captures regarding reincarnation -- in particular, the GORGEOUS focus on the northern Thai blessing ceremony that calls back to a human host the 32 spirits that a host carries with them throughout their life/lives. Those spirits can be incarnated and/or reincarnated within repeated and/or beloved figures of the host's memories and reincarnated lives. (That explains why people like Ohm and Kaimook, in Jom's present life, are reincarnated as Khamsean and Fong Kaew in Jom's life of 1928 Chiang Mai. And it explains how Jom can continue to be called to different eras involving Yai, from Commander/Warrior/Mustache Yai of ancient Thailand, to 1928 Chiang Mai Khun Yai, to present-day Chiang Mai Yai Kanthorn.)

@clairedaring notes in their reblog that in the novel, the foundational theme of reincarnation AND of Jom and Yai being forever bound to each other is confirmed, directly and heavily, by Commander Yai. Claire quotes from the novel Commander/Warrior Yai speaking to Jom :

"Jom-Jao, listen, though you are fated to be apart from me, my love will never fade, and it will follow you like a holy spirit, protecting you in my place. No matter where fate brings you, no matter the danger you encounter, may those misfortunes fall upon my spirit instead of yours."

I want to confirm that this is my understanding and experience of the centering and grounding of reincarnation in the series as well (@porjomkwan, this answers your question to me!). And, this very much speaks to what I understand was a gentle criticism by Thai audiences towards the show as this season of the show ended -- because the Commander Yai period really sets in stone what Jom can expect for the rest of his live(s) regarding having Yai in his life again in another time period. In which case, I agree HEAVILY with @clairedaring that IFYLITA absolutely needs a season 2, because that Commander Yai period is so definitive of how this first season gets contextualized in the end of the entire piece.

A couple of other quick notes on the novel before I move to a comparative final point:

1) JOM. JOM IS A SASSY B IN THE NOVEL. DAMN! I honestly think Nonkul Chanon could DEF handle being a touch more sassy. "I'm a grown-ass man," Jom says at one point. Yes, you ARE, HONEY! Sassy B Jom courting and standing up to Commander Yai? It was a WONDERFUL story line. (BTW, the quality of the writing of the IFYLITA Y novel was, as expected, wanting, especially by way of a fan translation. But I have to agree with fans of the novel from Thailand and elsewhere, that the story itself was SOLID.)

2) The history behind the Commander Yai period is FABULOUS to learn about. (@tipsyjaehyun has some context about the various eras of Yai here, if you don't mind a few novel spoilers.) In particular, I spent a LOT of minutes reading about the lengthy reign of the Ayutthaya Kingdom in Thailand, and just -- as an Asian and an Asian-American watching Thai shows, getting deep into this reminds me of my own accountability and responsibility for trying to grasp what an average Thai viewer will bring by way of education-based historical awareness into shows like IFYLITA. This long Wikipedia article is a must read if you want to go deeper into IFYLITA context!

3) My third point on the novel leads into what I quickly want to note by way of at least one comparison to another show that did reincarnation themes differently, but also beautifully, by way of an original Y novel.

Until We Meet Again is a permanent FAVE of mine -- and it captures reincarnation, at least a different style of it, within its drama context. In UWMA's context, a red thread tied between the passed bodies of the lovers Korn and Intouch ensures that their spirits will find each other again in the future.

As noted within UWMA, different Asian cultures have different reads on the meaning of the red thread, from China, to Thailand, to elsewhere. This article notes northwestern and Vietnamese beliefs regarding the red thread, and this Wikipedia article notes the Chinese origins of the myths of the red thread. (Remember than in IFYLITA, the blessing ceremony of calling 32 spirits back to a host is cited as being from northern Thailand -- meaning, many of these myths, legends, and practices are utterly regional, and very tied to specific regional cultures that we can learn more about as viewers. Super cool.)

In UMWA, Korn's and Intouch's spirits inhabit other bodies -- namely, Dean's and Pharm's personages. And Dean and Pharm take on some characteristics of the spirits they provide a home to, and, even more interestingly -- Dean's and Pharm's OWN behaviors reflect the regrets and/or resistances that Korn and Intouch bear to each other, with Korn's spirit being far more forward with love than he was when he was alive; and Intouch's spirit being far more fearful of that love, knowing in the end where his love led to -- their deaths.

In IFYLITA, we see Yai's spirit being reborn essentially into different version of Yai, and all of them called Yai. In the novel, Jom treats all of these Yais as Yais that he can fall in love with -- he is in love with all of them, because the spirit of Yai is essentially a singular spirit being reborn into various different versions of the body of Yai (quick spoiler: the modern-day Yai is only half-Thai).

I happen to REALLY love these various interpretations of reincarnation between these shows, and certainly many, many more shows and movies across Asia that touch upon reincarnation as an essential theme of HOPE, of love, of joy. The various ways in which these practices are regarded, from Buddhism, to Hinduism, to Shintoism, and other Asian spiritual practices, are fascinating to learn about, including their regional variances. And they speak very much to me as an Asian, as to how I learn about cultural practices, nuances, and mores. (A comparative cultural example is how food -- like, say, a dish like Hainanese chicken rice -- differs among Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore.)

But also, as an Asian watching shows like UWMA and IFYLITA -- I *know* that when I'm watching a show that's based on spirit reincarnation, that I'm not necessarily watching a "sad" show. I remember, of the day dramas of Japan and Korea that I watched when I was younger, that I absorbed better understandings of ancestor worship and elder respect. If a house had an altar with a picture of a passed-on elderly relative -- surely it was understood that that relative had passed away and one could be sad about it. But their spirit is meant to be honored at the altar, and especially in Japanese and Korean family dramas with these kinds of scenes, you can see characters speaking to the pictures of those who have passed on, having conversations, and being the subject of annual ceremonies of honoring the dead.

In other words, what I utterly LOVED about the IFYLITA novel -- and what I truly hope a season 2 will capture -- is that the Yais of the various eras were not despondent when Jom left them. Those Yais knew that a future Yai would experience Jom again. Korn and Intouch knew their spirits would meet again one day: it was Dean and Pharm that needed to come together to make that happen.

I wrote quite a bit about the Asian cinematic tradition of sad and/or open-ended endings in my review of The Love of Siam, and I think one reason why I absolutely cannot shake IFYLITA from my system -- and even UWMA, too, although UWMA has a confirmed happy ending -- is that IFYLITA is utterly reflective of this practice of the open-ended ending, at least for the show's first season, because we KNOW, through reincarnation, that Jom WILL encounter Yai again. If you read the novel, you know that Commander Yai promises this. But even if you don't read the novel, and we never get a season 2 -- to see Yai Kanthorn strolling right into Jom's arms, without very much other context, is enough, at least for an Asian audience, to know that the spirits did their thing again. Dramatically, I do think the finale could use more finessing (cc @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm, to whom I said this when I finished the novel), but now that I have the novel's context, I know HOW the finale could have been improved.

I took this ask as a major excuse to just unwind more and more on a piece that I totally loved in IFYLITA, and I hope to heck that we get a second season. I am thrilled that I made IFYLITA my debut into Y series reading, because the story is just so solid, and as I often say about my really beloved shows -- IFYLITA does not shy away from being rooted in assumed knowledge about cultural practices that an Asian audience can automatically check into. It really felt familiar and homey to watch this incredibly made and well-told story about an enduring romance, and I'm so appreciative that IFYLITA will be a show I'll be holding close as this year closes out -- a year that started off on the strongest Asian note with the fabulous Moonlight Chicken. MLC and IFYLITA encapsulating 2023 for Asian audiences? We were fed really, really well.

[inexplicablymine]

@welcometololaland you have DONE IT AGAIN. bows down.

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

I am humbly here to present my ABSOLUTELY insane WIP list for the Firstprince fandom and tell you a little more about them!

(Also to those who asked about WIP’s in my inbox those answers are coming ~ if anyone has any more questions or wants more ask box is open! I’ll be answering all of those tomorrow instead of (or with) Seven Sentence Sunday!)

Thank you to @welcometololaland for ANOTHER amazing weekend game truly a blast. To @kiwiana-writes @daisymae-12 @orchidscript @happiness-of-the-pursuit @gay-flyboys @rockyroadkylers and @anincompletelist for the tags I LOVED reading all of your words and answers.

If you have prepared yourself, then forge on ;)

1. WIP List

- The Firstprince Files

- The Ties That Bond Us

- Super Six and the Siren’s Call

- Looking for Orion

- Balls to the Wall

- Fifteen Hours Till Forever

- Watermelon Sugar

- Mr. Party Hardy (Mr. Bodypillow AU)

- Mr. Move It Move It (Mr Bodypillow AU)

- Mr. Massage (Mr. Bodypillow AU)

- S.M.U.T.

- No Laughing Matter

- Sweater Weather

- Ground(s) Up

- Delilah

- Minty Fresh

- Beast I’m an Animal

- Mind Over Matter

- [Switchback]

- [World Cup AU]

- [Orchestra AU]

- [Yoga AU]

- [Rugby Video AU]

- [Star Trek AU]

- [Oxford Slut Era AU]

- [Model/mistaken identity AU]

- [Pomodoro Method AU]

And probably more but that’s enough for now lmao

2. Which of your WIP’s is currently the longest?

Definitely Super Six and the Sirens Call. Currently at 48K but over the next two months I think a few of my other multichaps will also match it for length.

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest

The Firstprince Files. The outline for it is 37 chapters long and the first two chapters that are written are clocking in at about 13K right now.

4. Which WIP is your favorite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Going to go for broke here ~ my co-writes (Super Six and the Sirens Call w/ @read-and-write- and @happiness-of-the-pursuit, [Switchback] w/ @celaestis1, Watermelon Sugar w/ @heybuddy-drabbles, and S.M.U.T. with @affectionatelyrs) have been a BLAST. The words flow, I'm obsessed with the stories, getting to read others words and then add your own and make good soup will always be fun.

Outside of my cowrites? … hmmmm honestly I am obsessed with mystery and plotting out The Firstprince Files was truly a delight, but I enjoy writing all of my fics otherwise I wouldn’t write them.

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

The Ties That Bond Us. It’s a Bond/Q actor AU and there are already SO MANY great ones (and ones being written), and there is an extensive amount of epistolary writing that comes from different authors of articles and media works that need to have a distinct voice in order for the work to really work. I don’t know if I even have a distinct writing voice let alone if I can wear the masks of a bunch of other voices in a convincing way.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Whichever one is currently being written/focused on/about to be posted? It’s not a one size fits all answer, but at the moment I’m writing this it’s my Halloween Huh fic. It’s done and posted- ready to be revealed. I made myself go read it out loud one last time to hear it back (newsflash I hate doing this but I still do it because it helps) and that just made me doubt everything hahaha.

7. Which of your WIP’s will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

All of them. I always have a beta, I am incapable of posting a non beta’d work I have too much anxiety about it. The Firstprince Files deals with some much heavier themes so I will likely want a sensitivity reader there for those, and Super Six and the Sirens Call has quite a bit of Spanish in it that we have beta’s checking on.

8. Have any of your WIP’s been struck by the curse of writers block?

Yes this is why I have so many … (joking). Yes and no. I will just power through to write a bad section to have words on the page and then come back to fix them later which helps. I have a focused few WIP's that I work on at a time (small rotation inside the big rotation). The rest of these have an outline and a doc and at least a little bit written, but will not receive heavy work on them until I go through what’s first on my internal fic calendar.

What is in the current small rotation? SSASC, Looking for Orion, Watermelon Sugar, [Switchback}, Minty Fresh, my Mr. BodyPillow follow ups, and The Ties That Bond Us is my Nano project this November.

9. Which WIP has your favorite OC? Tell us about them?

At this moment Watermelon Sugar which is a co-write threesome for Threesgiving with @heybuddy-drabbles. Our third member of the threesome is AMAZING and we love them so much and we are very very excited for them to come into everyone else’s world as well.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

This is a toss up between [Switchback], [World Cup AU], Watermelon Sugar, and [Pomodoro Method]. We will see when they are finished what I think really takes the cake there.

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

I mean chapter two of Looking for Orion, but The Firstprince Files has quite a bit of angst. I don’t really write a lot of heavy angst or I haven’t yet we will see if the reception to LFO changes the tide there.

12. Which WIP has the best characterization (in your humble opinion)?

Looking for Orion at the moment, but I’m really hoping that Mind Over Matter takes that one when I have more written on it.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Oh my, Super Six and the Sirens Call has quest locations that change in a rotation. Truly I can't tell you more but it is SO FUN truly so fun. The Ties That Bond Us also just is jet-setting movie stars in Bond movie locations, stunt training, doing interviews in wild places, and campaigns in larger than life locations. So that is ridiculously fun to write and I hope it is just as fun to read.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Super Six and the Sirens Call. This work has a promo schedule there is art being made, there are docs linked within docs. When I say this became a big brained thing it’s a big brained thing.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

I try not to ever have expectations, it’s better that way I find ~ but based on reaction and excitement (my irl bookclub today made me promise to send them a link) I would say Super Six and the Sirens Call. Outside of that I just hope that if one person likes it then it is doing it’s job which is to create joy. (but internally we all have those fics that we hope do a little better than others for one reason or another. My Mr. Bodypillow follow ups I hope people enjoy, my two longer Multichapter works I am deeply attached to, and Looking for Orion I am currently a bit obessed with and I hope others get obsessed with it too.)

16. Do you dream about any of your WIP’s?

NO I DONT DREAM BUT @happiness-of-the-pursuit LITERALLY DREAMED ABOUT ONE OF MINE THIS WEEK SO I'M COUNTING IT.

17. Do any of your WIP’s have any particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

[Orchestra AU] is meant to be read at pace with the classical pieces that are titled in the top of the chapter which is fun and funky but is going to make pacing HARD. Because people read at different times. + that posting schedule is supposed to mimic the NYC philharmonic concert series performance schedule.

The Firstprince Files has a lot of real world implications for the characters as it is a suspense mystery novel that requires so much research on realistically how things might work or play out.

The Ties That Bond Us is going to have SO Much coding in it for the media chapters and I am now thinking I’m going to do art for it which rip me I guess (hahaha).

[Switchback] has a lot of POV changes which requires a delicate hand to know when to stop and start a perspective

Mind over Matter and No Laughing Matter are meant to be laugh out loud funny and I’m going to need help with both of them for that … truly

A lot of the one shots I struggle with because I want to give the story enough depth while still not expanding them into multichapter works, which is something I struggle with.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humor?

Reiterating above, Mind over Matter and No Laughing Matter for sure.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Super Six and the Siren’s Call DOES and it’s SO FUN. Truly it has been a BLAST To get into the heads of these other characters, and flesh out how they see the main ship as well.

The Ties That Bond Us, every other chapter is an outside POV from the media perspective which as I mentioned earlier creates a lot of work for voice and structure.

20. Tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your WIPs.

Hmmm some super fast fun ones

- 14 of the WIP’s on this list are MultiChap works

- 4 of them are co-authored works

- The Firstprince Files has been outlined since February of this year and The Ties That Bond Us has been outlined since March. (They are my oldest outlined works but they are also long works).

- 6 of these works are my FirstPrinceWeek works that I will still publish. I got sick and had an “AO3 author note” standard few weeks which put me behind. I do have one FPW fic published so far.

- Balls to the Wall started after a conversation about how criminal it is that Starbucks doesn’t sell the "Off menu but actually on menu now because it is in the app" Medicine Ball Tea in take home form so you can make it yourself when you are sick.

- All of these are for Firstprince but I now have an IRL who told me TODAY that she wants me to write Tarlos so I better get started on finishing all of these.

- [Rugby Video AU] and Ground(s) Up are both based on TikTok’s that I saw and immediately went "ahhhh yes that’s firstprince."

- All of my Mr. BodyPillow follow up’s will have “Mr.” In the name, and the title of the collection is Mr. Ace Alex, though there is a bit of a push for me to rename it the snerdle collection.

- My ask box is open if you want to ask about any of my WIP's :)

And now I will be tagging my entire moot list because I have too many WIP’s (jk but … prepare for the wall of tags) there is no pressure here but this has been a DELIGHT to read through everyone’s and I want to read about a million more!

@affectionatelyrs @historicallysam @rmd-writes @treluna4 @cheesecurdsgravyandfries @cha-melodius @arand0mdutchgirl @adreamareads @vonpeepsisback @clottedcreamfudge @cityofdownwardspirals @14carrotghoul @cricketnationrise @myheartalivewrites @xthelastknownsurvivorx @mudbloodpotter05 @everwitch-magiks @leaves-of-laurelin @celeritas2997 @athousandrooms @smc-27 @three-drink-amy @sprigsofviolets @heartitinthesilence @sherryvalli @weighty-ghosts @heybuddy-drabbles @read-and-write- @raysletters @thesleepyskipper @kill8a @babiemonk @suseagull04

[guz013]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (no pressure though! positivity is cool)💛

Ok, that's an interesting question and chain, because it made me really question and reflect on some things. But first, the 5 things:

I became a [some sort of] therapist for a lot of friends of mine, to the point that they ask if I can also help their friends sometimes. And most of the time helping them also helps me better understand mental problems and issues on my life, and when I need some "friend-therapist", I know that I can rely on them back;

I learned to learn. Growing up as what I would learn is called "gifted child", really made it difficult in my teenage to [now] early-adult life. When you grow up having your entire life being able to learn things quickly, the first time you encounter something challenging, it hits harder;

I like to be bold and have a challenge. It is somewhat contradictory from the last point, but nowadays, I do not like to, and almost can't work, without having some sort of challenge or bigger goal in mind. Yes, having small tasks is good for the day-to-day, but actively having an objective in life that's greater than myself as a person (like creating my childhood company/brand) keeps me motivated to not give up. I don't care if this dream never comes to reality totally one day, just having something to reach for is already enough;

I acknowledge the present and it's value. This is something that I still struggle with, anxiety really makes it hard to just focus and be grateful about the present and the "now". However, I started to finally acknowledge it, plan things for tomorrow, instead for next month or even year. Things like programming and drawing really made me appreciate the process of creating things, instead of just wanting the final product done. Even though in can go backwards from the past point, I would summarize this thinking as: "living the present, but being optimist about the future";

I became "someone who's trying to improve". This phrase/mantra that I created for myself, joking on not, really helped my life. In just 5 words there's the acceptance that I'm not perfect, that it's not guaranteed that I will achieve my goals, but that I will always try, that I always have room to improve. Growing up I had some fucked up opinions and wasn't the best person I would say, but well, I improved, I'm now better, I'm not perfect, and I will make a mistake in the future or even hurt someone accidentally again, but I will apologize, I will try to improve, I will become a better self. And hopefully, in the process, I can improve my art, my products, projects, and the world where I live in.

I have to admit that listing these things was kinda hard. Because of all the "gifted kid childhood" thing, I tried to develop some sort of anti-ego for myself, trying to be less egocentric, since I was a lot in the past and still do have a problem with ego sometimes. This doesn't mean that I'm harsh on myself, but personally it is hard to accept complements even from myself, since I know that because of complements of strangers, teachers, parents, I started to feel like I know everything and ended up somewhat ignorant for a lot of things. So the amount of "I" in this post was somewhat strange, not going to lie. However, sometimes feeling uncomfortable is healthy y'know, it's hard to be comfortable when you are starting to draw for example, but the lack of comfort is part of the process and changing.

And being more grateful with and reflecting about yourself is nice sometimes, it really can show how much you improved and can improve as a person. This is even one of the reasons I started the Daily Blogs, it's a constant self-reflection of my day, creative process, and self. I would really recommend anyone reading this give it a shot, try to make a diary, or write how was your week, anything that can help you reflect where you are, where you were, and where you want to be. Self reflection doesn't need to be daily, and most of the time I would say shouldn't be public (I really filter a lot of personal thoughts on my daily blogs and posts, privacy is good and not something you can take back easily), and it can be in any format, from a markdown file on Obsidian, to a plaintext note in your phone. Just give yourself some time without social media, entertainment, and have a talk with your own mind, it really helps.

Thanks for the ask @pxasee! This was an interesting experience.

Bonus: My girlfriend said that one thing that she likes about me is my smile.

[josendlessmonolouge]

Jo’s grandpa appreciation post bc I just made some overnight oats for tomorrow that he would love.

my grandpa is pretty well my father figure since my dad sucks majorly and anyway heres all the amazing wonderful stuff about him that makes me wish the entire world could have someone like him

He always told me stories when I was little. my favorite was jack and the beanstalk but because he modified it so the giant had a giant cat that in the end when the chop down the bean stalk, jack and his mom sell to a zoo and get a bunch of money.

He believes rhythm is one of the very most important things you can teach a child he used to bounce all us grandkids on his knee to the beat of music and he always encourages me to tap my foot to songs

he’s very dyslexic but currently writing a book

he likes to talk about folk music with me

I’ve dated two boys in my life my first relationship was long distance and he still sometimes calls my grandpa for car advice. When I was dating my ex once him and grandpa talked on my phone for over an hour about stock car racing

if he hadn’t had a family he was going to pursue being a nascar driver

he can build anything, he built me an American girl doll bed when I was a kid and his sister (my great aunt) who lives right next door to him sewed me a mattress for it

he loves vintage western wear

he has my mom cut his hair bc he got mad that his barber kept cutting his hair too short, he says she thinks everyone should have cop cuts but he’s a product of the 50s-70s he likes a longer haircut

he completely replaced the floor and even did the plumbing in our bathroom just recently. ;he’s in his 70s)

once he said he didn’t feel well at dinner with our friends after the nhs ceremony and had us worried about him but actually he was late walking his dogs and didn’t want them to be sad but didn’t want to be rude about leaving

he always signs his title as grampa instead of grandpa bc that’s how I pronounce it. So when I was 13 and he got heart surgery and it was still Covid regulations so I was too young to visit him he wrote a thank you note to my card and signed it that, he always signs off every text message with it

he loves fruit and always keeps apples at his house. He told my mom “I’m a good diabetic.” While eating apple sauce. Still think about that lol

his little westie is the most spoiled dog to exist

Babies always smile at him in public

once I ran into him at lunch at school bc my friends went to the Walmart deli and he was grocery shopping and he apologized to me that he wasn’t dressed nicer (he was in his overalls)

he practically lives in overalls

when I was little my soccer team called him the man in the yellow hat bc he wears a straw hat almost everyday.

he dropped out of highschool.

I bought him a roy rogger tie as a present bc he got really teary over how important Roy roggers was to him as a child and at church that week he really proudly showed it to me.

he can look at anything and measure it

once he fell off a ladder working and had to stay home so we had to go shopping for him he told my mom and I the dimensions of the box of shrimp my grandma likes not the color or price or the brand or amount, but the dimensions.

oh when he fell off the ladder? The person driving the ambulance got lost and he had to tell them where to go.

his dad likes to collect rocks and so does he

he picks my grandma flowers from his garden.

he tells me about people from his childhood he realizes where probably on the spectrum like him and I are. He realize he was on the spectrum after I was diagnosed.

He makes the very best fry bread

he loves perry mason

once I called him in tears because a very baby bird had fallen out of it’s nest in a storm and I wanted him to come and try to save it (I couldn’t as I had cats at my house) or put it out of its misery and he drove out to my house and tried to nurse it to health (sadly it didn’t live)

When I was in upper elementary school I had a lot of meltdowns because I was bullied, other kids where starting to not like school so they were yelling being disruptive my little autistic self couldn’t take it and sometimes I’d have to go home early if it was really bad (eventually I got meds and accommodations) but mom and grandma worked jobs where the couldn’t pick me up so he did and he’d just take me along his errands to Walmart or something. Sometimes we’d get a doughnut. He always understood I wasn’t misbehaving I really wanted to do good and be good.

[bacchicly]

List time...but surprise today is actually a good day! I just need to get things outta my head to make sure I get my timing right...

Ok so I just put a pork roast in for dinner and it is currently searing at 4:25.... Turn down to 350 in 13 mins.. (likely around the time I post this)

Veggies gonna be:

- canned cream corn (heat 5 mins before serving)

- apple sauce made with the apples I am roasting with the pork (fish out and smash - possibly add more apple - out when I take out the roast to rest)

- baked carrots and parsnips (5 start prep)

Personal To Do List (listed in order of priority)

Install new latch on cupboard under sink

Clean up/ practice demo I am doing tomorrow at work

Pack for prompt departure in the morning to work for presentation in the morning

Pack for trip I am taking later this week (this is shocking I am a throw things madly in a plastic bag madly before I leave person - which I hate)

Work clothing; IT; meds; toiletries; jewelry; makeup?; find damn sunglasses and things I need to drop off at head office

Further (spend an hour more?) on my new budget tracking spreadsheet - after trying other people's solutions and failing...I am trying attempt #4567923 to get on top of family finances. This time I am prioritising a blended bi-weekly/monthly approach that I sort of do naturally. I am also building it around my actual payweek schedule. And have "coded" it to analyse based on those patterns.... I.e. what happens when it is a 3 payweek month versus a 2 payweek month? What are 1st paycheck of the month expenses vs end of the month? We'll see if this time actually helps for awhile. Sigh. I suck at all of this. Oh well if nothing else...when you talk about working/middle/academic/artist class people funneling their money back into the economy instead of saving...and how important that can be... Well let's just say I see myself in that picture...and I am torn about how I feel about it. Money is a huge source of shame for me.

Re-attach eye patches on Stringbean - take photos and share

Ok so here's the timeline based on all that...I am only putting in the musts and then I am going to come back and fill in what I achieve:

It's 3pm (as I type) and I've turned down the oven:

1 am - sleep - alarm set for 7 am

Key time points working backwards:

1 am / 2 am... Who is counting

10ish - kid to sleep

11:30ish - husband home

Got kid to sleep by 10:20... Then tackled more work. Got it done eventually. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

6:30 - latest time to serve dinner

9:15 - drive to hockey & home

Helped with purple hair washing; but also did some work work. Didn't have to drive... Husband got ride.

8:00 to 9:00 - kid bath, jammies & reading

Fed people at 6:45...before that tried to do some work work but my computer needed charging so I did more on the family budget.

6:20 - call folks to wash hands, plate, choose documentary for dinner, cats in "cat jail" (we keep them out of the dinning area for fancier meals since they have terrible table manners)

6:15 - heat corn

6:00 - take out meat to rest and tackle applesauce

5:15 - carrots and parsnips in oven

Put parsnips & carrots in oven early. Now I have an hour to do some work. I wish I had an office.

5:00 - start carrot and parsnip prep

Work through personal to do list for 2.5 hours

Finished doing the latch...but I had to use armature wire to create a custom latch for the one side...apparently I should have bought a bigger latch.

3:20 - post my list

2:45 - write list

[kittyfairyblog]

April 18 2024

Well I am back here once again after not being present for a couple of days. My day yesterday was an absolute terrible day. Nothing seemed to go right. My two close friends suddenly weren't talking to me and this really upset me. I usually don't let things like that bother me but it did. Plus it was a dark cloudy rainy day. It rained yesterday also it stormed too. It was pretty much a day that I wanted to cry. Thankfully I posted something on one of my Autism groups about how I felt. I was down and out that day yesterday. Today is Thursday and I am trying not to be another depressing day. I am on my blog instead of writing because I just don't feel like writing. I am sitting in the living room listening to the music group called Scandal which is a Japanese rock band. I am pretty much wearing all black even though I think my shirt is navy blue hehe. I just can't seem to return to the novel I had been writing. I took a couple of days off from writing and it seems that I can't get back in the swing of things. I had ballet class on Tuesday evening from 7:30 pm to 8:30 pm. There was a different teacher teaching the class. She was good looking to say the slightest. I don't understand, I am jumping ahead to today, how my friends who i talk to all the time on Facebook Messenger and Instagram go from chatting with me to suddenly poof they disappear then they come back. This is upsetting because i am in the middle of talking with them but then they disappear. I hope none of them find this blog because of what i write in it. Not that I would blame them because they are really close to me even though we are not local. Right now it is or usually is writing time but since I don't feel like it I am writing this entry instead. Even though the mail today came around 12:15 pm I still find it frustrating because I want the mail to come later. I don't know what it is but I like sitting here in the living room waiting for the mail. It might be strange but I like doing it. This might seem like I am depressed all the time and lonely but my dad he works nights third shift so he sleeps during the day. My mom works babysitting my niece and nephews while my sister works. So that leaves me basically alone in the house just with the dog Kylie. I don't drive so that's another thing and the bus route is a couple of streets in away. I don't like this neighborhood. I used to walk around this neighborhood but I don't anymore. I stick to the yard when I am with Kylie our dog. The only times I am outside is when I am with Kylie. I don't know why this bothers me so much but I just don't like the neighborhood even though we've been leaving here about 2 years now I guess. When I used to live alone really alone I used to be able to walk to town which was a short distance away from where I lived. I used to always go to town and there wasn't anything really stopping me. Then bang I got depressed seriously depressed and everything changed. I moved back in with my folks and that's been that. Since moving back in with my parents we lived in a couple different places until we moved here two years ago. The last place we lived before this I got to go to the woods or a wooded area with lots of trees next to a railroad that went through it. It was nice. I hung out on the front porch a lot. I actually got to go outside but here I am afraid to go outside. There's not any covered porch and well when I do go outside it is with Kylie like I said before. Well I think I am just rambling here. We are supposed to get our lawn cut today or tomorrow but it's looking like it'll be tomorrow. My sister's house her AC unit is out and we my folks and I don't have a clue when they are going to find a way to fix it. However our AC unit is working properly. Sigh right now my dad is sleeping from being at work last night so I am in the house by myself. My dog Kylie is somewhere in the house probably resting too. I took Kylie outside twice today. I am sorry I haven't posted any pictures lately. Anyway time to go.

[makespaceforspirit]

Every Star Is a Doorknob from the Cantigee Oracle

A few weeks ago, I was having a moment with anxiety and stress. All my tasks for two big projects were piling up on me and they weren't being completed according to plan. I wrote in my last post that my therapist counseled me to work on trust—trust in forces larger than myself. That night, I pulled an oracle card that also counseled trust. This alignment of messaging was magical and right on time, but that wasn't the end of it. Our more deeply entrenched issues need repeated interventions for evolution. Two days later, I still couldn't shake the anxiety. So I turned to my community.

I reached out to one of my cousins. She gave me much food for thought and shared with me her practice of journaling gratitude and self-acknowledgement daily. I appreciated the share, but I didn't see a connection between my anxieties and those practices. So after I spoke to her, I pulled another card. I pulled Every Star Is a Doorknob, and it's central message is TRUST.

I love the mental support and emotional encouragement I receive from tarot and oracle cards. We all need messages in various forms from various sources so we can build a secure path forward. in Every Star Is a Doorknob, the message of trust is connected to the unknown. It discusses our tendency to fear all that could go wrong in the unknown, rather than trust in all that could go right. It says that each pathway opens to another room of possibility. There may be challenges—yes, but also gifts, resources, and new experiences.

I decided to use my cousin's journaling practice, but instead I journaled my anxieties and then what I trust to be present to manage that anxiety. It was a wonderful exercise because I had an answer for each anxiety of what I truly believe what would happen. (Spoiler alert: I did not actually believe I was headed for disaster. Lol.)

Next, I called another cousin and she noticed that I was treating all my life responsibilities in the same way that I treat my work responsibilities. The anxiety, the stress, the tension, the worry, the cycling thoughts. I'm on break from work, so what does that mean if I'm bringing those behaviors into my personal life? In talking with her, I realized there is a huge gap between what I believe and how I behave. I truly believe all is well and all will be well—but what I feel is anxiety, mistrust, and roiling doubt. Trust is my pathway to living my beliefs.

Finally, I spoke to a friend and as we talked, I realized, ultimately, all I want is a good life. I want a good life when I'm working my day job, I want a good life when I'm writing my books, I want a good life when I'm planning for the future, and I want a good life while I'm traveling and adventuring. I don't want to suffer in the present because I think that will make for a better tomorrow. Work toward the future—yes; suffer for it—no!

That last distinction took me—finally—to a place of peace. It was a journey that required one therapist, one journaling session, two oracle cards, and three conversations with my community. I truly trust that all is well in my present life and all will be well in my future life. Now it's on me to live that, to draw on trust to feel that, and to allow myself the grace to enjoy that belief.

Are there spaces in your life where your emotional reaction does not reflect your true thoughts and beliefs? What strategies can you use to ease your anxieties and rest easy in trust? It may be a challenging exercise, but it is truly truly worthwhile. Wishing you joy, delight, and grace.

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Onward

—K.

[lefemmerougewriter]

The Manarola Hike of a Lifetime

Le Chevre and El Topo go on a hike on a rocky trail near Manarola, Italy, and it is tougher than they expected.

Author's Note: This is my first El Topo / Le Chevre fic! The story itself is loosely based on my recent experience in Manarola, Italy, one of the towns in the Cinque Terre, and climbing this very tough, rocky trail! I immediately thought of Le Chevre, and the idea for this story came to me. It is set in the present-day and post-canon. This has to be one of the shortest fics I've ever written, but I didn't want to make it any longer.

Friendships: None

Romantic pairings: Carmen / Ivy, El Topo / Le Chevre

Words: 420

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43588810

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1294808183-the-manarola-hike-of-a-lifetime

Quotev: https://www.quotev.com/story/15392370/Manarola-Hike-of-a-Lifetime

Characters: Carmen Sandiego, Ivy, El Topo, Le Chevre

Le Chevre huffed. His friend, with digging gloves, which had claws attached to them, stood on the nearby ledge. “I thought you were a mountain goat,” El Topo said, almost taunting him. Annoyed, Le Chevre replied, “I’m trying! But, this is hard…even for me!” El Topo let out a raucous laugh. If a mountain had been nearby, they would have been buried in a huge snowdrift. His voice echoed through the valley around the beautiful city of Manarola.

Le Chevre’s face was as red as a ripe strawberry. He knew that, sometimes, El Topo would mess with him. This was one of those times. As they continued to ascend the trail, both of them happily said “Buongiorno!” to passing hikers, who often replied with one word: “Prego” or nodded their heads. The trail had not been what Le Chevre had been expecting, not at all. 

He heard a somewhat unfamiliar voice call out, “Carm, you never said it would be this difficult!” The strange Bostonian accent reverberated in his ears. He then saw the trademark auburn hair he remembered, which did not fit the strange accent he heard. It was Carmen Sandiego, or as he originally knew her, as Black Sheep. She did not have on her trademark red fedora, nor her red waistcoat. Instead, she had on what looked like exercise clothes, which also could be used for hiking. She immediately recognized them.

“Hey, I never expected to see you both again after…VILE collapsed.” Before Le Chevre could say anything, El Topo interjected. “Just going through Cinque Terre, hiking from city to city. Today Manarola, tomorrow Riomaggario.” 

Carmen wasn’t surprised. El Topo and Le Chevre were both fit, athletic men. She had sensed they were a couple, even when she was in crime school. While there, she had crushes on male and female students, but never acted on any of them. Sometimes she wished she had. However, when she saw El Topo and Le Chevre flirting, she looked over at Ivy. She then recognized, once again, that she had picked a good teammate, and now, a good girlfriend. 

“Have a good hike!” Carmen hollered. Ivy then yelled, “nice to meet you!” Le Chevre and El Topo nodded. They were too tired to say anything in response. They held each other’s hands and continued climbing the onerous trail. “Onward!” Le Cheve shouted. El Topo smiled back. 

This hike would only be the beginning of their adventures in the beautiful Italian Riviera, and many challenges laid ahead for them.

End Note: I wrote this while I was in Italy a few months ago, along with the stories “A Firenze Gelateria and Carmen's Delight”, “Korra and Asami's Swim in Manarola's Natural Harbor”, and “Ivy’s Boboli Revenge and the Pitiful Palace” (working on), which I’m publishing on here, slowly. I had a lot of fun writing this story, even though I was sick while in Italy. I ended up typing it up many months later. Reading it makes me feel like I was there again!

[jaeminlore]

Landslide | Mark Lee

summary: time makes you bolder. even children get older, and i’m getting older too.

words: 7.1k+

category: teacher!mark, single parent!reader, fem!presenting!reader, graham is the sweetest kid, mark is that teacher that lets kids pick earthworms during recess, friends to lovers, mark’s apartment is flooded so now he has to live in domestic bliss with his secret crush oh nooooo

warnings: talk of absent fathers

author note: it’s my birthday tomorrow so i wanted to give u all a present for supporting me for so long!! here’s to you <3 (cross-posted on /honklore)

Mark helps one of his kids press their palms onto the wall. When they release their palm, pink paint remains, making a sort of leaf to the tree branches painted onto the wall.

“Now write your name,” Mark advises another kid, whose orange paint had already dried.

“G-R-A-H-A-M,” the boy writes out with a large permanent marker. “Can I take a picture? For my mom?”

All the rest of the children begin to shout their agreements, also wanting to bring home a picture for their parents. Mark grabs his yellow Polaroid camera and takes a picture of each handprint.

He keeps all of the pictures in the chest pocket of his denim jacket. “Okay, guys— to the sink! Whoever has the cleanest hands gets to help me pass out snacks!”

“Why are we having snack time so early?” It’s Graham that asks, the little one always eager to be around Mark.

Mark ignores the boy’s paint covered hands poking at his clean jacket, and answers him as politely as he can. “Mr. Lee forgot his lesson plans today, so we’re going to watch a movie instead.”

“A movie?” Graham’s eyes widen.

“Yep,” Mark giggles. He crouches down to Graham’s level and whispers, “You wanna pick it?”

“Nature Nut!” Graham cheers almost immediately, causing Mark to wince.

Ah, yes, the wonderful little DVDs of a lonesome man teaching the watcher about bugs and weird types of slugs. Mark actually has the entire collection, and Graham happens to adore them just as much as Mark did when he was a kid.

“Alright, go wash your hands and I’ll get it started.”

It’s a little girl named Hana who cleans her hands the best, so she passes out organic fruit gummies to everyone while Mark puts in the DVD.

While they watch the video, Mark checks his text messages.

There’s one from Taeyong: “I’ve already got Haechan on the couch. Sorry, man. You can have the floor, but it’s not gonna be comfy :(“

Right. Mark forgot that Haechan lives in the same complex as him. His apartment is probably just as flooded as Mark’s is. Now if the landlord would just answer his calls and help him... maybe this situation wouldn’t be so stressful.

Mark didn’t forget his lesson plans; they’re just submerged in his bedroom with everything else Mark has left lying on his carpet. And maybe it’s his fault for not buying more storage bins, but a studio apartment can only hold so much stuff.

Serves Mark right for doing his lesson plans at home instead of at the school like most of his fellow kindergarten teachers.

He lets out a quiet sigh, careful not to disturb the children. He only has a short list of friends left to ask, and while he doesn’t think they’ll mind him asking, he really hates to put anyone in that position.

Besides, most of his friends have roommates or significant others and Mark doesn’t want to ruin their routine. He’d hate to intrude. And he could always sleep in his car for a few days, but the amount of stuff he had to pack because of the flooding has barred any chance of a good night’s sleep.

The video ends, and Mark gets the kids seated with coloring pages until their parents arrive.

One by one, he I.Ds the parents and tells the kids goodbye, helping them put on their coats and take home whatever library book they picked out earlier.

Finally, there’s only one kid left, and Mark is a bit embarrassed of his hyper-awareness to Graham. It’s not even his fault, really. Graham just has a beautiful mom, who happens to be Mark’s beautiful friend, and sometimes Mark gets eager to see you during pickup time.

Whatever. It’s no big deal.

The kindergartener already has his coat on. His curly brown hair is almost unruly as he continues to work on his coloring sheet.

Mark pulls at the hem of his sage sweater sleeves and wonders if his hair looks okay. Maybe he should invest in a little desk mirror; or maybe that’s vain.

“Hey, Mark! Sorry I’m late!” You rush in, holding on to your leather messenger bag. You fix your glasses before they fall off the bridge of your nose, and Mark is so focused on the movement that he almost forgets about your child.

Until said child is scolding his mother. “Mom! You have to call him Mr. Lee! It’s rude to call him Mark!”

“Your mom is an adult,” Mark reminds Graham (as soon as he finds his voice.) “Since she isn’t a student, it’s okay for her to call me Mark.”

Graham pinches his lips together, and then shrugs. “Fine. Mom, we watched Nature Nut today.” He runs up to you and wraps his arm around your middle. “Can we go to the park and look for slugs?”

“Sure,” you giggle. “But we need to get home soon, okay, Bud? I have to make dinner and then we have to clean up the mess we made last night.”

Graham turns to Mark and smiles naughtily, like the trickster he often is. “Mom said I could tear up her papers last night. She said it’s There-pee.”

“Ther-a-py,” you emphasize for the five-year-old.

Mark studies your face, and he can tell that you seem a little more stressed than usual. “Therapy, huh?”

You smile sheepishly. “Well, when your son catches you tearing up old love notes, you have to let him in on the fun, right?”

“You are a team,” Mark acknowledges. He wants to ask more; wants to dig into your heart and extract whatever is hurting you, but your son is standing between the two of you, waiting for him to say goodbye. Mark clears his throat and picks at his sweater again. “Anyways, uh, text me tonight? Let me know you two got home safe. And, I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” you breathe. You smile at him and then take Graham’s hand. “Thanks, Mark. I’ll text you.”

Mark spends the night at a motel down the road. He texts a few of his friends and hopes for good news in the morning, or at least a confirmation from his landlord.

When you text him, a little selfie of you and Graham, holding up what looks like microwaved s’mores, his heart grows fond, and he forgets about his own problems for a moment.

-

Life has never been very easy for you. From the get-go, you have always been destined to fail, growing up with an absent father and an overworked mother. With a dead-end dream like yours (writing, of all things), it’s no wonder you clung to what little breaths of freedom you had.

He was handsome and bold, with a carefree smile and brown eyes that mirrored the sun. The lead singer of a band, with a voice like chimes. And you fell just as hard as one of your many protagonists. Perhaps the mistake always lay in the fact that you put too much fantasy into reality. You have always romanticized the littlest things, and that comes back to bite you more often than not.

You never expected one: to get pregnant your senior year of high school, and two: have to go through it alone.

Of course, most people you come to love leave eventually. It’s something you have always remembered; something that sticks in the back of your brain like gum to the bottom of your child’s Spider-man skechers.

Graham is the only constant in your life. Though you’ve been blessed with a decent job editing for a webazine company, and you can work from home more often than not, Graham is the real thing that keeps you alive.

He’s the most precious boy, with brown curls and big brown eyes. He favors his father, and though that should deter you, it reminds you of innocent days, and it gives a new meaning to brown eyes. Graham is not his father, and he never was.

Graham certainly got his love of learning from you. Though he likes science more than writing, you adore how eager he is to always get to school. It helps that Mark is his teacher.

Mark’s been your friend since freshman year of highschool, when the two of you both took the same creative writing class the local university offered. Though the two of you had differing end goals, you often studied together and encouraged each other. He was there when you found out you were pregnant, and he was there when you found out you’d be raising your child alone.

Now life comes full circle, and you see him twice a day. You could go out on a limb and say he brightens up most mornings, but you would still give that slot to your son.

Mark is standing at the doorway now, greeting all of his students and helping them take off their book bags and coats. He’s wearing monochrome today: red pants, a red sweater, and red shoes.

Graham lights up almost immediately, and you are thankful today that you decided to dress Graham in his red t-shirt. “Mom! We match!”

“I know,” you grin, squeezing his hand.

Mark glances at Graham, and then you. His cheeks showcase that same pink hue they always do, and while it should clash with his red garments, it doesn’t. “Hey, Mark.”

“Hey,” he grins, cheeks full at the sight of you two.

Graham spreads his arms and waits for Mark to help him take off his jacket. “Do you see that we match, Mr. Lee?”

“Yo, that’s awesome, Little Man!” Mark gives Graham a fist bump that seems to appease him, and you wait for Graham to run to his friends before addressing Mark.

“How have you been?”

Mark sighs. He brushes his hair away from his eyes. “Okay. My- uh- my studio apartment flooded so I’m staying at a motel until my landlord can get me estimates on when I can come back home.”

“That sucks,” you frown. “You know, if you need a place to stay, I have a pullout couch in my office. And obviously, Graham wouldn’t mind.”

Mark pales. “Are you serious? I didn’t mean to suggest anything, Like I know you work from home and you need your office.”

“And you’ll be at school until three,” you say. “I’ll work then. C’mon, Mark. I don’t like knowing one of my friends has no place to stay.”

Mark bites his bottom lip and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll drive over after I check out of the motel.”

“Great!” You smile. “I’ll order pizza.”

-

"Graham, clean your room," you say, struggling to push your desk against your office wall. "We're going to have a guest for a few weeks."

"Mom," Graham whines, "They aren't going to look in my room."

You begin to take the cushions out of the spare couch to start setting up the pull-out bed. "Mr. Lee is coming over, Graham.  Don't you want to show him your collections?"

Graham's brown eyes grow wide. "Mr. Lee? You didn't tell me he was coming!"

"He's going to be staying with us for a little bit, okay? So I need you to be on your best behavior."

“Can I show him my worms?” Graham asks, alluding to the compost bin in the small backyard of your townhouse.

“Yes,” you say, thankful that he isn’t putting up much of a fight toward cleaning. You’re also thankful he isn’t asking any questions, as Graham always seems to have a few at the top of his tongue.

Graham cleans up his room quickly. You know for a fact that he’s just shoved all of his toys under his bed, but it’s enough until the weekend, when you’ll have more time to help him organize.

The little guy hoards rocks like no one’s business. You curse the day Mark decided to teach the kids about geodes.

“Wanna help me make up Mr. Lee’s room?” You half-yell, while grabbing spare bedding out of your linen closet.

Graham’s little footsteps are heard before he answers, and soon he’s at your hip with a quick, “He can have my Frozen pillowcase!”

You hesitate to tell Graham that his Frozen pillowcase is currently on one of your pillows, and you can’t give your guest a dirty pillowcase. “That one is in the wash, Buddy. Why don’t we give him your Spider-Man one?”

“So he matches my pajamas!” Graham is easily pleased, and he even takes one of his stuffed bears to add to Mark’s made-up bed. (“So he doesn’t get scared at night.”)

By the time the pizza arrives, Mark is just behind, so you keep Graham busy with a slice of cheese and a glass of diet pepsi (only half of a can, and only because it’s a special occasion) while the two of you bring in Mark’s stuff.

He surprisingly didn’t bring much, and when you ask about it, he grimaces. “My studio is pretty small so a lot of my stuff was on the ground and got mildewed. Other stuff was in bins so I just left it there. I only need clothes and my lesson plans, anyway.”

“Well, here’s the desk and bed. It’s not much, but there’s a lock on the door in case Graham ever gets too inquisitive — bless him — and curtains so the stupidly bright sun won’t wake you too early.”

“Those both sound like personal experiences, Y/n,” Mark teases. He takes off his jacket and throws it on the bed. “Yo! Spider-Man?”

“Graham picked it out,” you say. “He also relinquished one of his bears to keep you safe in the middle of the night. His words, not mine.”

“He’s so cute,” Mark mentions offhandedly. The fondness in his tone takes you back a bit. Not because the phrase isn’t true, it’s just that most people find your son annoying before they find him endearing. The change of tone is nice.

“He is,” you say. “And he’s dying to show you his room after we eat dinner.”

Mark gives you that same lopsided smile he often had in high school. Part of your brain shifts to his personal life, and you wonder why Mark himself isn’t in a romantic relationship. Not that he has to be, but the both of you are getting older, and Mark has always been one to express a fondness for having his own family one day. Maybe he just hasn’t found the right person.

It isn’t until Graham is peacefully in bed — after a very chaotic reading of Goodnight Moon by yours truly, and an argument that Mr. Lee cannot, in fact, sleep in the same room as him — that you actually have a chance to show Mark around the house.

“Here’s the guest bathroom. Graham almost always uses the bathroom in my room because he likes looking at the big tub. He will beg you to play with him, but if you’re busy don’t feel guilty telling him no. He knows what no means and he’s good about playing by himself.”

Mark giggles. “Okay. I don’t mind playing with him, though.“

You show him around the kitchen, where you left little spaces for him in the pantry. You show him the garbage bags and the T.V. settings and the list of compostable ingredients. “And also, please come and go as you please. Like, I completely understand that you’re here temporarily and you aren’t a babysitter or anything like that. I don’t expect you to be in charge of Graham any time outside of school.”

Mark blinks. “But if you ever need time away, you can ask me. I don’t mind babysitting.”

“I know,” you smile. “But Graham is my kid. I don’t need time away from him.”

You’re lying. Mark knows it. You’ve been in this single parenting thing for five years and you aren’t about to reach out for help now.

“Anyways, if you have any questions just ring me or ask me,” you say. “I’ve got to get to bed. Goodnight.”

“Thanks, Y/n.”

-

Mark thinks it’s sweet the way Graham insists on making his own breakfast.

You’re already up when Mark gets out of his (temporary) bedroom with his clothes tucked under his arm. You’re busy arguing with Graham. “You can’t fry your own omelette for the last time.”

Mark quirks an eyebrow at your exasperated face. You look stressed beyond belief, even though the day has just begun.

Mark tosses his clothes back in his room and walks into the kitchen. “Hey, Graham! Do you want to show me your rock collection?”

Graham spins on his sock-clad heels, eyes bright at the thought of seeing his teacher. “Mr. Lee! Yes! Let’s go!”

He grabs Mark’s hand with ease, leaving you room to finish making breakfast.

Graham’s room is fairly simple. The small wooden bed is covered in a green quilt, and beneath that, frozen-printed sheets that certainly don’t match. He has a tub of stuffed animals shoved against a small dresser.

Mark gets distracted by the framed picture on top of the dresser. It’s a picture of you and Graham’s father, a few months before you got pregnant. He’s smiling, and you’re holding up a peace sign. It makes Mark feel a bit sad, knowing that Graham’s dad never stayed around to see how wonderful he turned out to be. Then again, a lot of people in your life left as soon as they found out. In high school, no one wants to be friends with a teenage mother.

Mark reckons that if he had a family like this, he’d never take them for granted.

Graham pulls out a gemstone. It’s a murky green one that Mark has let him take home from class. “Do you remember this, Mr. Lee?”

Mark grins. “Yeah, bud. Thanks for keeping it so safe for me.”

Graham beams. He grabs Mark’s hand and pulls him towards his dresser. “Can we match? I want to look like you.”

Mark feels his heart swell. He wants to smother the young boy in affection, but he doesn’t want to cross a line. He’s your friend, sure, but he’s also Graham’s teacher. He can’t coddle Graham more than the other children. He already has a godchild to coddle. “I’m wearing yellow today. Do you have any yellow clothes?”

“Let’s look!” Graham yanks open one of the drawers and begins pulling out the articles of clothing one by one. “No, no, no... Here!” He finds a pair of yellow overalls, folded amongst the mess he made. “I’ll wear these!”

“Let’s clean up first, okay?” Mark grabs the overalls. “So it’s clean when you come home from school.”

Graham, looking like the last thing he’d ever want to do is disappoint Mark, begins to pick up each shirt with obvious intent. He tries to fold them, and does a somewhat decent job, so much so that Mark leaves it, thinking you’ll find it endearing rather than annoying.

He really loves that about you. He likes your patience with Graham. You’re so young, and in reality, he squashed so many early dreams of yours. No matter your lot in life, you never blamed your child. Mark thinks that’s why Graham is so open, so adaptable, so endearing.

He helps Graham get dressed and leaves him in his room so that he, himself, can get ready.

When he emerges from his shower, hair wet and clothed in yellow, he smells something amazing.

He doesn’t want to intrude on your morning with Graham. He already feels too indebted to you already.

“Have an omelet,” you say. Wisps of hair cover your face. You place a plate down in front of him.

Graham is already eating his omelet, slowly, while flipping through a picture book. He sounds out words he recognizes, but stays silent the rest of the time.

Mark takes out his phone and scrolls through his instagram feed just as your own phone begins to ring.

“Shit,” you curse, and then immediately apologize to Graham. You press the red button and tap anxiously on the tabletop.

“Everything okay?” Mark asks.

You run your hands over your hair and let them rest on the back of your neck. “Yeah is just—“

The phone rings again, and this time you pick it up. “What do you want? ... Why would you tell me that? ... Why should I care? ... Please stop contacting me, okay? Goodbye.”

You slam the phone down and leave the room. Mark watches you disappear down the hallway, sniffling.

“Mommy is upset,” Graham says. He looks at Mark, lip quivering. “At me?”

“No, Buddy! Of course not!” Mark reaches over the table to ruffle Graham’s curls. “Never at you.”

“When we tore up paper, she was crying.” Graham fiddles with his book page.

Mark wonders why your ex’s actions are being brought up five years later. Last he heard, you had fully healed from the breakup long before Graham’s first birthday. But now he’s about to be six, and you're suddenly upset?

He’ll have to ask you about it soon.

“Are you ready to go to school, Buddy?”

“Yeah!”

-

You cradle your face in your hands and try to ease the tears back in. You’ll never get this article proofread and sent if you can’t see the keys.

The door opens, and Graham runs in just in time for you to finish wiping your eyes. “Hey, kiddo! How was school?”

“Mr. Lee let us finger paint!” Graham holds up his palm, covered in dried paint, and grins brightly. “Can I have gogurt?”

“Yeah bud. Why don’t you put something on the T.V.? You can have your snack in the living room today.”

“Yes!” Graham takes blueberry gogurt out of the fridge and — after getting you to tear it open — runs into the living room. Sneakers and backpack still on.

Mark trails behind, clutching a messenger bag to his chest. “What’s going on?”

You sigh and close the laptop. The manuscript will have to wait. “Ben called. About a week ago. His girlfriend is pregnant. Called me to tell me he wasn’t going to leave her— like that would heal what he did to me. Then he called this morning to tell me they’re engaged.” You burst into tears then, and you feel so pathetic for doing this in front of your old schoolmate, that you hide your face behind your palms and allow your shoulders to shake. “Why weren’t we enough? Why wasn’t I enough?”

Mark scoots one of the chairs in front of you and sits, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Hey. Look at me.” With gentle hands, he grabs your wrists and pulls them away from your face. “It is not your fault he left.”

“But it has to be me in some way,” you retort. “He must not have loved me. Something, because now he’s going to raise her child after he left mine. Graham deserves a dad.”

Mark places his forehead against yours. The two of you used to do it all the time in school, mostly with immature giggles in the spaces between, but now it’s heavy with intention. “Graham has not felt even a little bit unloved in your care. You are all he needs, okay? You’re amazing.”

You nod, head still pressed to Mark’s. “Yeah. Okay. Sorry for getting too emotional, there.”

“Be as emotional as you want,” Mark says. “I’ll be here to balance you out.”

Your heart stutters at the words, like maybe they mean something more than he’s letting on. Of course it’s stupid to think Mark Lee would ever even consider you, but just the knowledge that he cares makes your soul feel a little lighter.

“I’m a mess,” you stutter, bringing your fist up to wipe at your nose.

“Nah,” Mark grins. He runs the pad of his thumb across your cheek and grins. “You’re alright.”

-

“It’s snowing!” Graham wakes Mark up by jumping on his chest.

Mark sucks in a breath, winded at the sudden weight, and grabs the boy, lifting him off of his chest and onto the mattress. “Hey, Buddy. Let’s not jump on sleeping people, okay?”

“Okay,” Graham says. He’s already lost interest in Mark, now crawling off of the bed to open the blinds. “Come look at the snow!”

“I see!” Mark rubs his tired eyes and checks his watch. “We might have a snow day, Graham.”

“Yes!” Graham pumps his fist into the air. “Let’s go tell mom!”

You’re sitting on your bed, chewing on a red licorice rope and flipping through a fashion magazine. You look up when Mark and Graham enter.

Mark likes seeing you like this: the domesticity of you in the morning, lazy and true. His chest sparks when he thinks this may be one of the only moments he can capture you like this, so he intends to commit the sight to memory.

“Did I hear snow day?” You grin at Mark, childlike wit in your own eyes — the same as your son’s.

“Looks like it.” Mark rolls up the sleeves of the sweater he slept in. “You want pancakes? I make some mean chocolate chip pancakes.”

You shift your gaze away from his arms and clear your throat. “Uh, yeah. Just let me get dressed and I’ll help—“

“No need,” Mark insists. “Enjoy your quiet time. Graham and I will make the most delicious pancakes you’ve ever tasted.”

“With lots of chocolate chips!” Graham shouts.

You give him a pointed look. “But not too many.”

Graham huffs. “But not too many,” he repeats.

-

Momentary splashes sound from your bathroom, followed by Graham screaming “It’s a dragon! Run for cover!”

Mark giggles from his place on the couch. He’s got mushroom-patterned socks on, and he’s tucked up into the cushions, nursing a can of Monster. “How does he still have so much energy?”

You sigh and pull your beanie down over your forehead. “You’d think a snow day would tire him out. Thanks for constantly carrying him up the hill, by the way. I know you’re a teacher, but sometimes I forget how good you are with kids.”

“I do have a godson,” Mark reminds you.

“But Mikey is a baby,” you say. You only know the baby’s name because of Mark’s constant snap stories about him.

“Most babies and kids want the same thing. Affection and attention.” Mark scoots over to the edge of the couch and pats the cushion.

You sit next to him. “I guess that’s true. You’re really good with Graham. He’s not this open to other adults.”

Mark is clearly blushing now; you can see his pink cheeks even in the light of the television. “He’s great in class, always helping the other kids.”

“He wants to impress you,” you say. You pop open a can of orange soda and take a sip. “He thinks you’re just the coolest guy.”

Mark laughs and shakes his head. “Didn’t you hear, Y/n? I’m handsome and cool.”

“Oh, of course,” you nudge his shin with our own sock-clad foot. “How could I forget? Mr. Ladies Man in high school.”

This makes Mark blush even harder, because he most certainly was not a ladies man in high school. In fact, he was a nerd in all senses of the word, part of the debate club with a few other boys. He had a few dates here and there, but nothing ever stuck.

“Shut up,” he mumbles. “My time is gonna come.”

“Hasn’t it already?” you ask before you can really process your own words. But of course he knows that he’s grown into his face, right?

Mark is positively handsome, eyes bright and lashes long. He’s so warm and comforting to you. He must be just as comforting to everyone else.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re handsome, Mark,” you say plainly.

“You mean that?”

“Of course I do,” you say. “Why would I lie?”

Mark opens his mouth, perhaps to call you out. To tell you you’ve been too honest, but he’s interrupted by your son.

“Mom! I’m ready to get out now!”

“I should go,” you say, still looking at his eyes.

“Yeah,” he says. His sweater has small spots on the shoulders where snow has fallen and since melted. He shivers.

“You should take a shower. You’ll catch a cold.”

“Okay,” he whispers. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

-

Haechan comes over the following Saturday night to hang out with Mark, and you’re surprised at how much he truly hasn’t changed since high school.

He’s still got infamously perfect eyebrows, and his voice is still high despite its blunt sarcasm. “Nice place.” He raises his brows as he looks around.

“Who are you?” Graham is sitting at the kitchen table, watching Minecraft playthroughs (kid-friendly ones you’ve watched through yourself) on your phone to entertain himself while you clean.

“I’m Haechan, Mark’s friend.”

“This is Mr. Lee’s friend from school,” you say, detailing your words so they’re easier for your son to digest.

Graham stares at him for a moment, not quite judging but not quite accepting either. “Okay. Do you want to see my rock collection?”

Haechan looks genuinely excited, and accepts before you can come up with an excuse for him. Graham tells Haechan to stay in the kitchen while he grabs all of his rocks.

“How have you been?” you ask the taller man. “Like, with the flooding and everything?”

“Well, I’m on a couch at Taeyong’s, which is good since he doesn’t charge rent. But that means I’m near Mikey, and that baby has some lungs.”

You laugh. “I remember when Graham was a baby. I was so young, and my mom told me it was my responsibility to wake up and take care of him whenever he cried in the middle of the night. I was so pissed at her for making me do that, but those were some of the best nights to bond with him.” You realize you’re rambling and shake your head. “Whatever. Baby screams are loud as hell.”

“You can say that again. I’ve been talking to my friend Johnny about taking his spare room and paying rent. I dunno how many more sleepless nights I can take.”

“Why would you need to pay rent if you’re just crashing?” You wipe down the kitchen table to keep yourself busy.

“Didn’t Mark tell you? Our landlord is in heaps of trouble because the pipes weren’t up to code and that’s why they busted. The damage is basically too expensive to fix, so we’ve got to find new places.”

You stop cleaning. “Mark didn’t tell me that.”

“Oh.” Haechan scratches his brow. “He probably didn’t want to worry you. He feels really bad that he’s stayed with you this long.”

“It’s only been a month or so,” you counter. “Besides, Mark’s a great housemate. He cleans and keeps Graham occupied. Plus, now I have someone to watch corny game shows with.”

Haechan grins. “Oh. Okay, I get it.”

“Get what?” Mark, finally out of the shower, steps into the kitchen and immediately tackles Haechan in an energized hug.

“Nothing!” Haechan’s voice cracks

You shoot Haechan a weird look, and change the subject. “Where are you guys going?”

“To play video games at Johnny’s.” Mark says, and the thrill in his voice makes you think of high school. Of the debate team bus rounding the corner. Of you standing there, waiting to congratulate him with a big hug and a frosty from Wendy’s.

You miss it. “Have fun, okay? I’m probably going to tuck in as soon as Graham does, so just let yourself in.”

“You’re leaving?” Graham comes in, and his arms are filled with smooth and rough stones and gems he’s both found by himself and bought at random general stores while traveling.

“Not before I see your rocks!” Haechan says with so much enthusiasm, you think he’s telling the truth.

Graham giggles and drops the rocks onto the ground. Of course, he wants your guest to sit on the floor and count rocks. You’re almost embarrassed.

“ ‘ Okay, Y/n?” Mark laughs at your expression. Then he places his arm on your shoulder, thumbs the skin of your upper arm.

And once again, it’s high school. It’s senior year graduation and Mark is the only one who congratulates you. It’s his comforting touch, him coming over in the middle of the night after you texted him a picture of your first sonogram. It’s that same comforting touch. That little “I’m here,” and it melts you on the inside, leaves you in the shell of an eighteen girl again. Scared, and worried, and a little less alone.

“Yeah,” you manage. “I’m okay.”

-

The television plays Cartoon Network reruns on a low hum. Mark is curled up in a blanket, nursing a bottle of water and thinking over Haechan’s words.

You’ve liked her since high school, dude.

Which is a complete lie. Seriously, Mark didn’t have a crush on you in high school. He would know if he had a crush on his best friend. You’ve been his friend since freshman year, and that’s all you’ve ever been.

Now in college, it was different. In college, Mark was alone in a dorm with Taeyong, and you were one of the only people from high school he stayed in contact with. In college, he would bring you your favorite snacks and drinks, and other things you would forget to buy because you were a part-time student and a full-time mom. In college, you would pull all-nighters with him, working on your exams while Graham was asleep, then using energy drinks to get through the next day.

Mark even remembers the time your mom caught the three of you fast asleep on your rug, with unopened monster cans and an empty milk bottle beside you.

Throughout your entire pregnancy he was warned not to stay friends with the pregnant girl — it’d be too much for him, he wouldn’t want to become the new father, and all kinds of other stuff people would mumble to him when you weren’t around.

But you never expected him to be anything other than your friend. You never asked him for the help he gave — though you thanked him always — and you never once assumed he’d take the role of Graham’s dad.

And now… now he finds himself wishing you would.

“Mr. Lee?” Graham creeps up without him even realizing.

Mark jumps, sets his water — and thoughts — aside. “Hey, Bud. It’s really late. What are you doing up?”

Graham sniffs, and Mark realizes that the boy is crying. “I had a nightmare.”

Mark holds out his arms before he can think, and lets the five-year-old crawl into his lap. He wraps them both in his blanket and turns the television up just a little more. “Was it scary?”

“You left.” Graham says, voice less watery, like he doesn’t know the weight of his words. He’s focused on the rerun of Adventure Time that’s playing. He’s not even remotely interested in his nightmare now, with his tears dried up, and his eyes drooping back towards slumber.

“I’m going to leave one day,” Mark says, because he thinks it’s important that Graham knows.

“You should stay with me and Mom,” Graham says. He yawns. “We like you so much!”

Mark’s heart stutters. He tries not to think about it.

-

When Graham’s bed is empty the next morning, you freak out. He’s always in his room in the morning. Even if he wakes up before you, he stays in and plays with his toys.

You’ve already got your phone out, and your mother’s number called, when you walk into the living room.

Relief floods your system. Mark and Graham are asleep on the couch, snuggled up serenely like they didn’t just cause you to have a premature heart attack.

You hang up before the call to your mom can go through and stand there, watching the two boys sleep. Graham has both his arms wrapped around Mark’s forearm. It’s such a sweet picture that you take out your phone and snap one.

The flash is on.

Mark scrunches his nose and winces. “What the–”

“Sorry!” You whisper. “You both looked so cute, I couldn’t help it.”

Mark smiles, still sleepy, and finally opens his eyes. He peers at you, copper brown under fluttering lashes and you’re almost intimidated into looking away. “He had a nightmare.”

“Oh?”

“About me leaving.”

“Oh.” You frown. “I’m really sorry about that. I keep telling him that you’re moving out soon, but I don’t think he fully understands.”

Graham stirs. You reach down and pick him up. Your knuckles brush across Mark’s warm, sweater-clad chest and you suddenly wish you could cuddle with him, too. You shake the thoughts away and focus on your drowsy son. “You’re staying at Grandma's for a few days, remember?”

Graham rubs his eyes and perks up. “And I’ll see her cat?”

“Yes,” you confirm. “But we’ve got to get you dressed because she’s coming in a few minutes.”

-

“Mark Lee!” Your mom’s voice embarrassingly rings through the apartment, and you realize Mark has taken it upon himself to open the door. “Y/n told me she had a temporary roommate but I never thought she would finally ask you!”

“Oh my gosh…” you mumble, buckling Graham’s overalls and hauling him up into your arms. “Mom! His apartment flooded so he’s staying here. Don’t be weird about it.”

“But he’s so handsome,” your mom coos. You’re concerned she might reach forward and pinch Mark’s already ruddy cheeks.

“Thanks,” Mark laughs. “But she’s right, I’m just squatting until I can find a new place.”

Your mom harrumphs. “Well, I don’t see why you can’t stay here forever. Y/n doesn’t even use that office room. And even if she did, the two of you could just share a room.”

“Mom!” You plunk Graham into her hands and grab his overnight bag. “You have to leave.”

“Did I say something wrong?” She sounds worried, but there’s an undisclosed mirth in her eyes that makes you think of your freshman year, when you did have a crush on Mark.

“You said everything wrong,” you say, kindly pushing her out. “Have a good time, Graham. I love you! As always, Mom, call if you need me to come get him.”

“Yeah, right!” She yells over her shoulder. Graham is already giggling, so you close the door with confidence.

You turn back to your roommate. “I’m sorry about that, Mark.”

“It’s fine.” He smiles, but it’s reserved. “But speaking of me finding a place… I know Haechan told you that I can’t go back to my own apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“It’s okay,” you say. You want to say “You can stay here as long as you want, and long as you’ll let me keep you,” but that would reveal too much, and you don’t want to lose the one good friend you have.

“And I was thinking I should move out soon anyway.” Mark pulls his sweater sleeves until they cover his hands. He’s hiding. He’s shielding himself the same way he did in junior year, when he got turned down by his crush to go to the prom. “I don’t think it’s good for Graham to get this attached to me if I’m just going to leave.”

“Oh,” Your sleeves are too short, but you want to shield yourself too. “Yeah, that’s… that’s probably a good idea.”

Mark stands there for a beat, like he’s waiting for you to say something more. Like he hasn’t just taken your heart and pushed it aside. Like this hurts a lot less than it actually does.

But any word out of your mouth would be tearful. It would be honest. It would ruin everything. “I’m going to go on a run.”

-

There’s a cricket outside that won’t stop chirping against your window. You blame it for your insomnia, choosing to ignore the anxiety of eventually losing Mark. It feels so horribly childish, since you’ll see him when you drop Graham off at school. And you’ll see him whenever the two of you go out for coffee on weekends.

But you won’t see him in the kitchen, reaching for the pancake mix so his shirt rises up and you can see the dimples in his back. You won’t see him humming along to the radio while he works on his lesson plans. You won’t feel his warmth when the two of you stay awake, nursing spiked lemonade and giggling at the commentary videos you find on YouTube.

He’ll just be Mark again. He won’t be home anymore.

Startled by the realization, you get out of your covers and rush to your door.

It opens before you can even reach for the doorknob, and there’s Mark in his pajamas, biting his lip and avoiding your eyes.

“I don’t want you to leave,” you say.

Mark confesses, “I love you.”

You open your arms and he dives in, face pressed into the space where your neck meets your shoulder. Warmth envelopes you and the scent of pine fills your nose.

Mark is timeless. Youthful glory and childish pride. He’s a pinch on the side and a push on the swings. Like a rock that actually skips on the first try. Like shoes that you can slip on when they’re still tied. And he’s here, in your arms, squeezing you like you’re something valuable enough to lose. He’s confessing love like you aren’t the worst possible candidate for his heart.

“I can’t offer you much,” you start, but Mark bumps his forehead against yours, boyish and playful — football fields and bright red lockers and secret notes on bathroom walls.

“I’ve known you for years, Y/n,” Mark’s voice is a low rumble. Copper eyes blinking at you like you’re something to second glance at. “I know what I’m getting into. I want you. I want Graham. I want everything this is, and everything we’ve been for the past month. I don’t want this to end.”

You close your eyes, because his are too honest. He’s open and vulnerable and gentle — a child on the first day of school, ready to make friends. You take a deep breath, try to remember what you were like on your first day. Rosy cheeks and shy glances. Knobby knees and a trusting heart. You reach out for whoever you once were — the Y/n with a heart open and willing to be loved. “I don’t want this to end either. I’m in love with you, Mark.”

His grin lights up your world in its entirety. Gold flecks in onyx black disappear as he smiles, too thrilled to keep his eyes open. And when he kisses you, warm lips against cold ones, you feel like a puzzle has just slotted into place.

It would only make sense that you would grow to love the boy you grew up with.

[maria-akira]

how you meet the ahs boys + their reaction while you're having a class - PART 1

—♡—

hey yall im back again 🧍🏻‍♀️ is this what you call a headcanon?? idk BAHAHSHHA. anyways i've had this idea in my mind for a while and i wanted to share it to yall, so i hope you guys like it 😌

these also have a little back story on how you guys meet !!

also, special mention to @tatestripedsweater for helping me give ideas with jimmy's part !! thank you so much mwah 🥺❤

warnings: none! just pure fluff <3

please excuse any errors !

—♡—

~♡ TATE LANGDON:

before the pandemic, you and your family have moved into the murder house.

the house gave your family a very odd vibe, but nonetheless all of you had to bear with it because it was sold for a cheap price.

but when the pandemic arrived the country, you were stuck at home 24/7. thus, classes were online.

you met tate because of your father. tate was one of his patients and the both of you grew close.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

tate would randomly barge in your room while having a class and you would jump out of shock.

"Jesus, Tate. Stop scaring me like that!"

tate would giggle and lay on your bed, observing the lesson that the teacher rambled about.

while you're writing notes, he would stand up and take a chair from some part of your room and sit beside you.

knowing that tate is clingy, you would warn him not to bug you and behave while you listened in class.

of course, he doesn't listen and he would place his head on your shoulder and eventually would cuddle you.

"Taaate, please let me focus."

luckily, you always keep your camera off.

"Mmm, no. I enjoy bugging you."

~♡ KIT WALKER:

one time, you were driving to school on your own and you were almost running out of gas.

luckily, you saw a gas station nearby and decided to get a fill before heading to school. and there, you met kit.

when you first laid your eyes on kit, you thought that he was the prettiest man ever. you couldn't let this chance slip, thus, you exchanged numbers with him.

you talked all day and night, the both of you were so inlove with each other and you finally decided to introduce him to your parents.

your parents loved him and you were so, so happy.

but when the pandemic came, it affected your relationship with kit.

since all schools and unis were closed down, everything went online.

when kit stayed over, he couldn't spend a lot of time with you because you had to attend classes early in the morning, till afternoon.

"Can you stay in bed with me for a little bit, darling?"

unfortunately, you woke up late that day and you missed 10 minutes of your first class. and just like that, you were stuck to your desk until afternoon.

"Kit baby, I'm sorry. I'm late for my first class. Maybe later, okay?"

as much as kit hated this whole online class thing, he would always find a way to cheer you up.

thus, he would cook you breakfast and bring it over to your room.

"C'mere, I'll feed you while you listen and write down notes."

~♡ KYLE SPENCER (PRE DEATH AND POST DEATH) :

PRE DEATH:

madison, your friend, had bugged you all week to go with her to this college frat party near your house.

you weren't the party type. you loved staying at home, watching netflix or reading some sort of fan fiction on wattpad.

but you hated being single. so, this was your chance to actually get a boyfriend.

when you arrived at the party, you immediately hated it. everything was so loud and everyone was drinking, it was definitely a new sight for you.

you were sitting on a couch that was in the balcony, with a red cup that was filled with punch. you loved being away from the commotion.

this is where you met kyle, it was love at first sight. the both of you had so much in common and you thought that he was the man of your dreams.

you exchanged snapchats and from there, you were partners-in-crime.

you and kyle had stopped going to parties ever since the pandemic arrived, which means you got to see each other less.

since the both of you were students, both of your classes went online.

one time, kyle had no classes for a day and he decided to surprise you.

that day, you were having an online presentation. both your camera and microphone were on.

"Rene Descartes was the Father of Modern Philosophy—"

as you were presenting the slide show, you were cut off by kyle's presence infront of your desk.

"I brought you food, baby!"

you would shush him and suddenly turn off your mic.

"I'm so sorry, Miss. My boyfriend arrived and I—"

kyle would go beside you and kiss you on your cheek, your classmates and teacher cooing over it.

"Miss, you better give my girlfriend a good grade."

POST DEATH:

*pretend that he survived the bus accident and had a coma, because we arent involving witchcraft here*

kyle and his fraternity were on a bus that was going to some college event at school.

on the way there, you guys snapped each other and his friends would talk to you as well.

unfortunately, they got in an accident and the bus was flipped over.

a few students, including kyle, survived the accident.

when you heard this news, you cried your heart out and you didnt talk to anyone in your family.

you and your family visited the hospital and you rushed to kyle's room, it broke your heart to see tubes in him, with machines that beeped like there was no tomorrow.

when the doctor said that kyle was in a coma, your heart sank in the deepest part of your body.

this made you stay 24/7 with him until he was discharged.

when he was discharged from the hospital, he was not his usual self. the bubbly, energetic kyle was gone. instead, he was so confused with everything.

kyle's mom made him stay with you until he got his memory back, and you were more than glad to help.

but this took a toll on your studies because your classes were online due to a pandemic.

everyday in class, you would let kyle sit beside you and let him observe what you were doing.

"We're in Science class, Kyle. You were really good in Science, you helped me alot with my homeworks."

most of the time, you would help kyle develop his speech and his writing. but it was difficult for you.

"S-Sci... S-Sci-en.. ce?"

"Yes, Kyle! Good job, now one more time."

~♡ JIMMY DARLING:

ever since you were a kid, you loved going to carnivals, your parents would always bring you there every weekend.

there were carnivals almost everywhere, and your family brought you to all of them.

to you, each carnival was unique. the clowns and magicians in each carnival had different tricks up their sleeve.

but as you grew up, these carnivals slowly went out of business. except for one, which was elsa's cabinet of curiosities.

you decided to visit it one day just for a trip down memory lane, you never really had expectations for this place.

when you arrived there, there were a few people that were seated.

the show started and it instantly made you smile, they reminded you of your younger days. oh how you wished to be a child again.

you watched through a few acts, and the last act was a man named jimmy darling

when he came on stage, you locked eyes with him. there was something about him that really struck you.

after the performance ended, jimmy ran over to you and got your number. from there, you always talked and you would visit him regularly.

the regular visits stopped when the pandemic struck the country, forcing entertainment establishments, schools and unis to close down.

for the mean time, all your classes went online. you told jimmy that he could stay with you until things went back to normal.

on an early tuesday morning, you were in english class. jimmy was with your parents preparing breakfast, and you were falling asleep while your teacher discussed about the odyssey.

unlike tate, jimmy would always knock on your door. as his mom always taught, never enter anyone's room without knocking.

jimmy would giggle at your sleeping sight, your head lowered and your hair messed up.

"Hey, sweetheart, wake up! You're in class."

jimmy's timing was perfect. as he woke you up, you were called by the teacher.

"Miss Y/N, Do you think Odysseus was loyal to his wife?"

obviously, you panicked. but jimmy was there to save you. since jimmy was fond of reading, he finished the book and he whispered the answer to you before you could turn on your mic.

"No, Ma'am. Odysseus had an affair with Calypso and Circe."

once you got your teacher's approval, you turned off your microphone and let out a sigh of relief.

"You're lucky that I'm here to help you."

jimmy would joke and you would jump up to him, tackling him into a hug.

"I'm always lucky to have you, baby."

~♡ DANDY MOTT

at a young age, you were exposed to different types of fabrics. denim, silk, corduroy, neoprene. they name it, you've probably seen it.

your mother worked as a fashion designer. she managed to open a shop in the city and it was a great success for you and your family.

your mother has styled famous models. because of this, the shop was promoted and broadcasted all over the country. one day when you came from school, you saw a long line outside the shop.

that day, the staff count was low. there were only 5 employees instead of 10. you didn't exactly know why, so you decided to help.

after what felt like several hours, the long line finally dissolved into 2 customers, which was a mother and her son. they looked through the shop and the mother instantly loved everything.

her son, on the other hand, was trying on this lilac tux that your mother made.

you assisted her son and when you locked eyes, the both of you smiled. you entertained him throughout his shopping spree and the both of you never broke eye contact.

this was how you met dandy. he made the first move by getting your number, and of course you gave it back.

from there, the both of you talked day and night, even when you were in school.

since dandy's mother, gloria, loved your mother's shop so much, she would invite you and your mother regularly to her mansion.

gloria and your mother got along very well, and it was like gloria was your second mother.

so when your mother went to paris for a fashion show, she let you stay in gloria's mansion until she came back.

but to your dismay, your mother was not able to come back due to a pandemic that was all over the world. flights, establishments, and schools closed down.

of course you were sad, but you didn't worry so much because gloria treated you like her real daughter.

classes were online and you were forced to attend them everyday in the shared room you had with dandy.

since you had to get ready for class early in the morning, you would quietly get out of bed because dandy was sometimes a light sleeper.

it was around 8am and you were in math class. in your school, cameras were required to be turned on at all times. you thought this was a shit rule, but you had no choice to comply.

you were drawing some circles with a compass for an example that was being discussed by your teacher, when all of a sudden dandy was beside you.

"Dandy, sweetie, what are you doing up so early? Go back to sleep.."

dandy would pout at the lack of attention that you were giving him. since he loved holding your hand, you let him hold your other hand that you didn't use for writing.

"You're doing Math instead of cuddling with me!"

—♡—

i'm actually super proud of this omg !! i hope yall enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🥺❤

—♡—

[thebrochtuarachs]

Something in the Rain - “A Month Apart, Part 1”

A/N: Hi everyone, thank you for your patience as I whipped out this chapter. I had the initial outline on how this chapter will go but more frequent than none, it changes a lot in the middle while I'm in the writing process. :) I love this story and I hope it just gives you the good feels while reading this. We're two years into this pandemic and the world is still crazy. I hope you're keeping safe and being kind to yourself. :) As always, your comments and suggestions are very much welcome.

A modern day meet cute instance between Jamie and Claire.

AO3  / C1: A Day In June : C2: Definitely, Maybe : C3: So We Meet Again : C4: Friday Lunch : C5: Finding Solid Ground : C6: Situations : C7: Interruptions

XXXXX

After their first date, their schedule for the following two weeks we’re packed - with Jamie settling back in the firm after his 2-week trip from London and Claire’s schedule at the hospital and preparing for her trip to Seattle.

Being a lawyer and a doctor weren’t the most flexible jobs - with patients and clients to attend to, surgeries and hearings to prepare for, plus, with both of them in administrative positions, it is additional work on top of their normal duties. But Claire and Jamie were determined to make it work, so they decided to communicate better, be extra patient and understanding, and really commit whatever available time they had.

The first week, Jamie couldn’t make lunch as he had a court hearing to prepare for and Claire couldn’t make dinner as she was on the night shift. So Jamie, one day, surprised Claire outside the hospital by picking her up, invited her to quick breakfast dates instead, and dropping her off at her house to make sure she got home safe.

The second week was a bit lighter but with Claire going to Seattle on Saturday, she had to do extra administrative work to make sure everything was set for her leave. She offered to have dinner takeaways at her office in the evenings which he happily accepted.

The night before her flight, Claire and Jamie were hanging out in her office, sitting at the sofa, admiring the Edinburgh skyline with a little wine and cheese tray.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t go out” Claire apologized.

“Don’t worry about it, Sassenach.” Jamie turned to Claire and patted her hand. “I honestly would prefer to do anything if it means I get to spend time with you - whether sitting here in your office on a Friday night or sitting in the gallery watching your surgery.”

“You’re too good to me, James” Claire quipped in a feigned dramatic voice.

“Ah, you give me too much credit, Claire. I hope you know that you make an effort too, especially these past two weeks”

“Me? It feels like you’re fitting more to my schedule than I am yours!”

“But you met me during breakfast even though you looked too knackered from yer shift.”

Claire couldn’t deny that and she could just smile with Jamie’s understanding.

“Are you all packed up for tomorrow?” Jamie asked, changing the subject.

“Yes. The weather’s mostly rainy in Seattle so I brought extra items for the wet and cold.”

“And what’s your schedule for the month?”

“Have I not sent you my itinerary? Hold up -” Claire took out her phone and quickly sent an email to Jamie. “There, I sent you my schedule but between teaching and surgery, my time’s the same as here just minus the administrative work, which I tell you not, I’m pretty excited to be free of it for the next month”

Jamie just nodded. The next month.

It’s all rather bad timing if you look at it. The first month, they’ve been rather inseparable with going to lunches almost everyday and weekends at the center. The following month, quick dates and meetings as Jamie was away at London and their crazy schedule at the hospital and the firm. And now, going into the third month since meeting, they’d be completely separated by roughly 4,485 miles.

“Did you hear what I said, Jamie?” Claire asked while waving a hand in front of Jamie’s face.

“I’m sorry, what?” Returning to the present, unaware that his mind has gone away a bit.

Claire gave him a softened look and sat closer to him. “What were you thinking?”

Jamie stayed silent but Claire’s look urged him on.

“Nah, ye’ll think me daft” Jamie said but Claire shook her head.

“Fine” Jamie stretched his arm to pull her closer and she gladly leaned on his shoulder. “I was just thinking about how I’ll not be able to see ye for a month, how much I’ll be missing ye, and how excited I am once ye return here.”

“Oh,” Claire knew the feelings were simple but it’s his words and the way he said it that touched her most.

“I told ye it’s daft.”

“It’s not daft.” Claire tried to mimic Jamie’s accent but they both just have to laugh at her attempt. Turning serious quickly, she took Jamie’s face by the hand and looked deeply into his eyes. “You know that I am going to miss you too.”

Jamie just nodded in agreement, looking at Claire so sweetly and lovingly that she couldn’t help but lean in for a kiss.

Since their first kiss after their date, they hadn’t been shy in showing affection to each other. Nonetheless, it’s all been very respectful to the boundaries to whatever stage they are in their relationship. Hand touches, hugs, pecks and kisses here and there but never really beyond that.

But with her impending departure, Claire seemed to be eager for more. Instead of completely pulling away, she kissed him again some more.

Jamie quickly picked up the signal and allowed himself to pull Claire closer and to his lap. A few minutes later, Claire felt Jamie’s tongue on her lips asking for entrance which she happily obliged. The air around them was electric.

Jamie was first to pull away before the moment got away from them. Claire sighed - not from disappointment, but by the fact of how chivalrous Jamie really is. And she doesn’t really mind it one bit. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

The following day, Jamie picked up Claire to drop her off at the airport. They thought they had time for a quick bite but traffic was so horrendous that they got to the gate just in time before boarding began.

With barely any time left, Jamie pulled Claire to a tight hug as the PA system called her flight. “Go, you’ll miss your plane”

Claire reluctantly released Jamie with a grunt. “Let’s go somewhere when I return”

“Sounds like a plan” Jamie tried to hide the longing in his voice but it was too late.

“The month will be over before you know it, okay? Message me everyday, call me every afternoon when you can” Claire encouraged him. With one last kiss, they bade each other goodbye as she started walking to her gate and Jamie was no longer in sight.  

As Claire waited for take off, the silence of a constant message ping on her phone slightly unsettled her. It was then she realized the vast distance between Seattle and Edinburgh. A single tear escaped but she quickly pulled it together. She’s not even gone yet but homesickness hit her right away.

-

So the four-week long distance trial began.

The 8-hour time difference is not too crazy between Seattle and Edinburgh with their available times falling at the start and end of the day. They’ve been coping well with their synced calendars and communication options.

Jamie sends flowers and snacks to Seattle Grace, earning Claire points from the staff for all the treats she’s been giving away.

Claire, on her end, sends late messages to Jamie to wake up to in the morning and asks Mrs. Kim’s Korean Street Food Hub to delivery chicken wings to Jamie every so often.

They’ve also reserved some time on the weekend for extended calls with conversations falling from happenings to their week to what hairstyles and colors they’ve done in the past.

It wasn’t till late in the 3rd week that things started to shake up.

It was a random Thursday evening in rainy Seattle. Between two surgeries and one class, Claire was ready to call it a day. She was settling on her sofa, drinking her tea for a little night cap when her phone pinged. It was 9:30PM Seattle meaning it was 5:30AM Edinburgh, too early for anybody to contact her over there unless it was important.

Grabbing her phone, her notifications show it was from Geillis. It was a link to a tabloid along with a message “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?”

With the link, she can see the preview of the title “Jamie Fraser is off the market!” Curiosity prevailed Claire and she clicked the article

-

On the other side of the world, Jamie, as always, promptly arrived at the firm. Just as he was to pass Mrs. Fitz, she called him out.

“Ah, lad”

“Yes, Mrs. Fitz?”

“I dinna ken yet what ye or Claire are yet but have ye spoken to her today?”

“Today? Not yet. Why?”

She motioned for him to come round the reception and take a peek at her monitor.

She showed him the same article Geillis sent Claire and as soon Jamie saw the accompanying photo, he fished out his phone and immediately contacted Claire. It was midnight in Seattle but Jamie didn’t care - he wanted to clear things before things got misinterpreted.

“Erm, hello?” a groggy Claire answered the phone on the other side of the line.

“Hi, were ye asleep?” Jamie asked as he walked the hallway to his office.

“I was but I answered already, what’s up?” she replied, her voice still muffled by sleep. She knew why he was calling though but wanted to hear it from him. “Did you just arrive at the firm?”

“Yes,” he replied, closing the door to his office for privacy. “Well, I don’t want to keep you long but an article came last night about me and well, in case ye’ll see it, it is not true.”

Jamie heard Claire sigh on the other end, “I’ve seen it” she confirmed.

“Ye’ve already seen it?” he repeated in disbelief, looking at his watch, it’s only been posted a few hours ago.

“Geillis sent it to me earlier, I think it just came out then. She’s a bit of a morning person so…”

“Claire, it isn’t true. It was all in a bad angle. The Dunsany’s have been a long-time client of ours and we had an unexpected dinner meeting yesterday. I was just escorting their daughter to her car when the paparazzi got wind of us and ran with whatever story they could think of.” Jamie quickly explained in summary.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I mean you say it’s not true and I believe you.”

“You don’t have any questions?” he asked, a little baffled.

“Not really. I mean was there more to it?”

“A bit but something we can talk about later.”

“Okay”

It was both refreshing and confusing as to why Claire seemed nonchalant about all this. On one end, she might be really understanding. On the other end, she might be harboring ill-feelings she didn’t want to discuss.

It was Jamie’s line that turned silent. Claire, guessing he might need more despite her sleepy state, obliged him. “Jamie, I won’t lie. I was surprised at first because of the photo and how the article was written with your family histories. Add to that, that I didn’t see it in the calendar and you didn’t text me about it.”

“Why didn’t you call -?”

“But” she interrupted him, “I also know you, Jamie, and I know about us. If I was really concerned, I’ll call you right away. But I’m not and we’ll be meeting later anyway, so I know we’ll talk about it eventually.” she paused to catch a breath. “Besides, you already explained it, I don’t need to know any more because I trust you, Jamie.”  

“Okay” it was Jamie’s turn to give the one-word reply.

“Are we okay now?” she asked.

“Yes, as long as ye are too.” Jamie replied to which Claire mummed in agreement. “Thank ye, Claire.”

“You’re welcome. Now, I’ll go back to sleep and see you later.” With that, Claire ended the call, a small smile crept on her face knowing the relief and joy Jamie probably feels right now.

[anxious-allie-ren]

Hey everyone! I’d like to introduce the new story I am writing! You can find it on both my AO3 and Wattpad. Both of which are linked in my bio. But I’ll also be posting the chapters here for you all. Be easy on me as I haven’t quite figured out how to post chapters on here and create a master list. That is something I will be working on. Alright, now in to the good stuff.

Erota

As the only daughter from a high society family, the pressure is on you to impress the ton and find a suitable match. You hope to find love, but your fate is decided for you. Your marriage is arranged to King Kylo of Chandrila. Pain and tough decisions are soon to follow.

This story is inspired by Bridgerton and regency era.

Hello everyone! I have been dreaming of writing this fic for a bit now and finally gathered the courage to do it! Like I said in the description, this story is heavily influenced by the regency era and the Netflix show Bridgerton. I've done my best to keep it accurate to both the era and the Star Wars world. I hope you enjoy!

The Ton.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The season has finally arrived. You have officially joined the ton and are coming out into society. The debutantes of higher society are to be presented in court. This now includes you and your family.

You were the only child of the Duke of Selonia. A small territory southeast of Drall within the kingdom of Corellia. It's a quaint little area, nothing to brag about. It was cozy and calm. Many of the families had lived in the area for generations. Neighbors all knew each other. But despite its comfort and kindness it was lacking funds.

Since you had been able to remember, life was very simple. You helped in the gardens, the kitchens, and even with the laundry work. Your family took trips to town often, visiting with the people. Your mother loved to stop at the bakery and buy pastries to bring back to the estate. She told you stories from her childhood as bedtime stories. Coming from a common family and marrying into high society. Your parents married for love and not statues. Many scolded your father for marrying "below his station" but he let their words roll off his shoulders. He was attracted to your mother for her beauty, kindness, and capabilities. Your mother was no stranger to hard work, and she assured you weren't as well.

As you matured, you watched as your home aged as well. Bricks began to weather with time and vegetation started to take over. Farmers had less success each year and businesses were closing. The help your father was once so quick to provide had now dwindled into nothing. There was no help to give. The funding was nearly gone. After your mother's death, the strong and reliable man you had once called your father was gone. What replaced him was a shell of a man. He gave up on his duties as a duke and instead threw his time and money into bad habits. Gambling and drinking had become his crutch.

You lost your mother in your adolescence. Still a young girl so in need of a mother and her guidance. Her death left you confused and in desperate need of comfort. You tried to lean on your father. But in his own grief, he seemed to forget about you. Instead, you turned to your community. The maids and butlers became your family. They ensured your schooling would continue. The men even went as far as to teach you math and science. When you entered your teens, you attempted to take on the dukedom in secret. You went over all the documents and finances, trying to find a way to help your people and restore your estate. It was to no avail. Nothing could be done without your fathers signature. So you were left with no choice but to let it go. You focused on your studies and lessons with the maids. They helped bring you to maturity. Now, it was time to join society as an eligible woman.

Marriage has been heavy on your mind for many years now. The idea of meeting a man and marrying just for statues or titles didn't interest you. Neither of those things mattered to you. A marriage had become something with such a negative connotation. But love, now that was very different. You yearned for a true love match. You craved a deep connection unlike any you'd ever experienced. As a child, you'd developed small crushes on some of the neighborhood children. The butterflies and blushed looks were something you understood. But you'd never felt love before. You loved your family of course. You even loved your townspeople. But that was so different from what you hoped to find.

Becoming a debutante was not something you were looking forward to. Joining the ladies of high society was only asking for drama. But as the daughter of a Duke, it was your duty to join the ton and find a suitable husband. This had become increasingly important as your territory lost more and more money to your father's lifestyle. These thoughts scrambled around your mind as you got ready. You would be heading to the first ball of the season, your entrance into society, in moments. You were dressed in your nicest items. A deep red ball gown embroidered with golden florals along the bottom of the skirt and corset. Your hair was pinned back, allowing your face to stand out. Your maid, Jillian, was helping you put on your shoes as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Jillian had been with your family before your mother passed. She had watched you grow from a pained child to a strong young woman. She was with you every step of the way. Jillian became a motherly figure and your most trusted confidant.

Jillian pats your calf as she begins to stand, finished with clasping your heels. Her touch pulls you from your thoughts. You give her a polite smile and thank her, turning back to the mirror. Your anxiety is growing with each tick of the clock and in typical Jillian fashion, she can sense your discomfort. She comes to stand behind you, adjusting the pins in your hair.

"You know you're prepared for this. There's no need to sit and worry."

You meet her gaze in the mirror, her gentle blue eyes giving you a wave of comfort. You let out a sigh and play with your fingers.

"I felt prepared, but now that it's upon me, I'm not so sure. So much is at stake here, Jillian. The people of Selonia are relying on me to find someone who can help. What if I'm not up to standards?"

Jillian only chuckles at your words and places her hands on either of your shoulders.

"Standards? Now you're just being silly. You are a kind, intelligent, and strong young lady. Any suitor would be lucky to have you as his wife."

You turn to look at her, face scrunched in concentration.

"That's exactly the issue! It can't just be any suitor. They need to be able to fix dukedom and be the love I've been waiting for. What if that's unrealistic? How can I ever find someone to do both?"

Jillian places a comforting hand on your cheek, her thumb slowly stroking your cheekbone. She gives you a small smile before she speaks.

"Is that what you're so worried about? Dear, you're placing too much stress on yourself. Don't worry about the dukedom or Selonia. Go and find your love, everything else will fall in place."

You lean into her hand and smile, her words bringing you peace and a newfound sense of confidence. She pulls her hand away and turns towards your bedroom door. She calls back to you, "Now let's get you going! It's time."

————————————————

The carriage stopped in front of the King's summer estate. Many of the guests were already walking up the grand entrance and making their way inside. Your father hurried around and opened the door for you, holding his hand out and helping you down. Tonight he was doing his best to look and act presentable. You place your hand in his bent arm and let him lead you into the ball. Neither of you had spoken more than a few words to each other in years. You were surprised he even accompanied you tonight. His presence only made you nervous again. You weren't sure what his intent was by coming. Was he finally stepping back into his positions as father and Duke? Or was there some ulterior motive?

You found out quickly as he leaned in to speak to you, just as you were arriving at the entrance of the ballroom.

"I am expecting you to perform well tonight. I want to see gentlemen callers of high status calling on you tomorrow."

You look up at him and furrow your brows in confusion. So this is what he came for? To ensure you schmoozed with the highest titles with the most money? If so, he's going to be very disappointed.

"I'm here to find a reasonable suitor for myself, father. Not a suitor for you and Selonia."

He stops walking at your words, his head turning to look down at you. You can see his clenched jaw and anger in his eyes. His distaste for your words is written all over his face.

"Stop with your foolish girly fantasy of a love match. You're here to do as I say, and I'll be damned if you disobey me."

His words sting your heart. Your father had never spoken to you this way. When you were young, he was always so gentle and loving towards you. Now it seems you're just another pawn to be thrown around his chessboard as he pleased. You swallow the lump in your throat and move your gaze back down. Now was not the time to worry about this. You had more pressing matters.

You allowed your father to lead you to the entrance, stopping to allow the announcer to get your names. You took a deep breath as you prepared to face the ton. First impressions were everything, and you did not want to screw this up. The announcer clears his throat and stands at attention. Everyone in the room stops what they're doing to await the next debutante.

"Presented by her father, the Duke of Selonia, Miss Y/F/N."

You stare forward as your father leads you into the ballroom and towards the King and Queen of Corellia. You both stopped before them, your father unlinking your arms and bowing. You fall into a curtsy, bowing your head in respect. Your father stands back up and looks to the king. You stay still, awaiting the command to move. The king of Corellia rises from his throne and moves to stand in front of you. Everyone holds their breath, watching closely to see what unfolds. He places a gentle finger under your chin, raising your head to meet his gaze.

"Stand up for me, dear. You can relax."

You do as he says and stand quickly, giving him a polite smile as you return his intense eye contact. His finger never leaves your chin. He smiles back at you and begins to speak again.

"You are a true beauty, my dear. You know, they say the eyes are a window to the soul. I can see the love and strength living within yours. Hold onto that, they will be your biggest asset."

Your eyes widen at his words. You can't help the smile that spreads across your face.

"Thank you, your majesty."

With that, he removes his finger from your chin and climbs back to his throne. He turns his attention back to the room and declares, "Let the festivities continue."

Your father grabs ahold of your arm again and leads you away from the thrones. You can feel the crowd staring at you, but you can't find it in you to care. King Luke of Corellia spoke to you! Not only that, but he complimented you. This was a great honor bestowed on very few. You would take his advice to heart.

It seems your father had a different perspective. He leads you to a table with dance cards placed neatly in rows. You begin to search for your name as he smirks and begins talking.

"Compliments from the king will help greatly in gaining potential suitors. You'll be the most desired lady in the ton. Seems finding you a husband of high title will be easier than I thought."

You finish tying the card to your wrist and turn to look at the room. Your father continues to talk as you observe your surroundings. You look up at the elegant chandelier. It shines beautifully in the light, casting sparkles all over the room. You watch as they dance across the guests, creating an angelic and light atmosphere. A waiter comes by and offers you and your father glasses of champagne. You take a small sip and return your attention to the crowd. Many of the ladies are giving you glares or speaking with the eligible men in attendance. You take notice of their attire. Many have much more elegant gowns and jewels on. Their appearance shows how much they have to offer. Your feelings of inadequacy begin to creep back in. You don't even notice a man approaching.

Your gaze stops on a young man across the room. His dark brown curls and bright smile grabbed your attention. He was speaking to another man, seeming to be in deep conversation. His face was so expressive as he spoke, hands moving about to help prove whatever point he was trying to make. You couldn't help but be captivated by him. If there was anyone you were hoping to get a moment with this evening, it was him.

You snap from your thoughts as your father greets him and motions towards you. This man must have been reaching his thirties. Much older than any of the debutantes here. His bright ginger hair stands out like a sore thumb. He makes eye contact with you as your father talks. An uneasy feeling sweeps over you. For some reason, something about this man doesn't sit right with you.

"Y/N, I'd like you to meet the Earl of Drall, Lord Armitage Hux" your father says as he motions towards the man. Lord Hux takes your hand and raises it to his lips, kissing your knuckles. The contact makes you cringe internally. Your father looks at you expectantly and you quickly pull yourself together.

"Hello Lord Hux, it is so nice to meet you."

Your father smiles at both of you and claps a hand on Lord Hux's shoulder.

"Lord Hux here is a good friend of mine. I was hoping to introduce you both tonight."

The uneasy feeling now makes sense. Any friend of your fathers is likely a crook. Not at all the type of man you want to be speaking to. You nod politely, biting your tongue from speaking your mind freely. The men then turn away from you and begin a discussion of their own, leaving you out. You lift your glass of champagne back to your lips and turn your gaze back to the direction of the man you had spotted before.

Instead of finding the curly haired man again, you met eyes with someone else. Standing with his hands clasped behind his back was a raven haired man. He stood tall and broad, much larger than any other man in the room. His gaze pierced through you, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand. You wanted to approach him, but to do so would make you look indecent.

Your eye contact is cut off by Lord Hux coming in front of you. He holds out his arm to you in invitation.

"Would you do me the honor of a dance, Lady Y/N?"

You wanted nothing more than to say no and go speak to the mystery man. Or even go find the curly haired man from before. But you know you had no choice in the matter. To deny him would make you look bad to the ton. Plus, your father would never stand for it. So you placed your hand in his arm and nod.

"Of course, Lord Hux."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you think!

Love,

Allie

[that-was-anticlimactic]

sk8 headcanons because i am Bored

autistic langa likes frozen fruit a lot—strawberries are his favorite—because he likes the cool texture

reki has lip freckles that really stand out after he’s been in the sun a lot ! there’s like four or five of them :)

just thinking about “all those friday nights / under the lights / under the bleachers together / you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory / till you and i / something divided us” but matchablossom,,,

“but i’ve already lost it once / what i already won / i’ve lost too much now to care / but i know that something’s still there” ,,, matchablossom,,, ahhhhh

miya and shadow being besties,,, shadow being miya’s parental figure and miya being his adopted nb child,,,

shadow being the first person miya comes out as nonbinary to,,,

adam going to jail,,,

reki having a stuffed animal collection and letting miya name some and then realizing that miya never had a stuffed animal growing up so reki gives miya one of his older ones that he loved as a child and then buys them a new one too… and miya asks reki to name it for them because sentiments,,,

after seeing the girl he had a crush on kiss someone else, shadow takes out his feelings on the only thing he knows how to—skating at s but he’s not in a good mind and he feels sick because he thought he thought he thought he had a chance and he doesn’t pay close enough attention and gets hurt and miya calls him an idiot and patches him up and shadow feels like a kid again but it’s kind of nice to have someone else actually help with his wounds instead of just attempting to wash them and then cover them with makeup by himself,,,

joe and shadow bonding over hating the feeling of loneliness so they make up for it the only way they know how which is being loud and being extra because they don’t feel as lonely if they’re loud

reki, miya, and cherry = adhd club

cherry and reki drawing together… and reki teaching cherry how to be more loose and carefree when he draws and cherry teaching reki how to add more structure to his art,,,

langa stealing and wearing reki’s headbands,,,

langa with glasses

reki’s sisters doing cherry and joe’s hair,,, or even reki, langa, and miya doing their hair and shadow just watches and takes pictures and reki puts cherry’s hair in fishtails because he had practice with his sisters and cherry secretly likes it (and so does joe) and miya and langa just. completely messing up joe’s hair and putting hair clips in it and langa attempts a ponytail kind of like how cherry does his hair at s (and no cherry did Not find it very attractive shut up)

shadow being a scrapbooker and having like ten scrapbooks from his life,,,

shadow not being as good of an artist as cherry or reki but he does it because he enjoys it and when cherry and reki find out they invite him to draw with them

the crew / sk8 fam all going to shadow’s house and doing a couple scrapbook pages together and it’s a mess but it’s them and it’s one of shadow’s favorite pages because he’s never scrapbooked with anyone before

langa is just naturally beautiful and photogenic so the art squad always asks him to model for them if they want to draw people

joe has depression because i want him to

and shadow has anxiety

because i do Not want any of them to be neurotypical

yeah so joe has depression, shadow has anxiety, cherry has add and anxiety, miya had adhd and separation anxiety, langa is autistic, reki has tourette’s and adhd and depression ✌🏻

when miya gets old enough, shadow gets them a part time job at the flower shop

miya likes a lot of pillows

langa sleeps with no pillows (unless reki is partially his pillow)

thinking about after reki’s second beef with adam,,, joe after he tells adam off and they’re away from the crowd, he passes out because let’s be real—there is absolutely no way he didn’t get injured and the worse one is probably a broken nose and a huge gash at the back of his head with like skin peeling and stuff like need stitches so the gang all goes to cherry’s and they help patch reki up

somewhere in that time the love hotel gets brought up and by extension getting hit by the car and getting beat up and joe and shadow are on the verge of slamming their heads against the wall at reki’s nonchalantness

and reki’s p injured so he’s laying in the couch with his head resting in langa’s lap,,,

joe tells everyone embarrassing cherry stories from school like all the time (but joe was a foolish child so cherry gets revenge)

miya likes crime documentaries

joe unironically watched supernatural and that’s part of the reason why he and cherry broke up

(maybe joe just thought dean was attractive—sue him!)

lol wait what if cherry sued adam to pay for reki’s medical bills since they inevitably had to take him to the hospital

cherry constantly tells joe that he will sue him

joe may unironically watched spn, but cherry unironically watched glee

langa wrote destiel fanfiction once upon a time

langa wrote cas bakes dean a pie--

miya is carla’s favorite (after cherry)

cherry and langa with weighted blankets also

sometimes reki steals langa’s but only if he stays the night or langa brings it over and usually if he “steals” it, it’s them sharing it or reki needs the comfort of the weight if he’s not having a good time mentally lol

joe with depression,,, i just think about that a lot sometimes,,, sometimes cooking feels meaningless and, like langa, he only feels something when he skates but it’s only this temporary feeling of joy and life,,,

and shadow with anxiety,,, over-compensating his anxiety by being shadow at night and being over the top and sometimes mean because internalized ableism,,, and if he pretends he doesn’t have anxiety then maybe he won’t feel it late at night or when everything seems to go wrong during a shift at work and he keeps dropping flowers because his hands are shaking and girls don’t like guys with anxiety, right ??? so shadow thinks that he CAN’T have anxiety :/// poor dude

miya with separation anxiety pushing people away before they get attached because if they push them away before they become friends, then they wouldn’t be able to leave them,,,

langa always bouncing his foot in class and all the time because it’s his main form of stimming (look at that boy and try to tell me he doesn’t bounce his legs like there’s no tomorrow i dare you) and sometimes it makes his legs sore and cherry and joe once recommended using a heating pad if it got really sore and langa does sometimes and it makes him happy

reki with ts having anxiety when he has to speak in front of the class / do presentations because he’s hyper-aware of his tics,,, so he always meets langa’s eyes and watches langa the whole time and langa sometimes mimes taking deep breaths which really helps but honestly just seeing langa makes reki feel like he can do anything (because he would do anything for langa)

cherry doodling to stim as a child and always getting in trouble for it because teachers used to like get pissed when students doodled (or maybe they still do and it’s just always been pissy teachers and not specifically teachers when our parents were kids) and eventually cherry got fed up with getting points docked for doodling so he started writing lists and stuff and been realized he had impeccable handwriting (also joe let cherry doodle on his hand during classes they had together so cherry wouldn’t get in trouble)

cherry once had a dream that he was rachel berry and joe was finn uhh *insert last name here* from glee and joe had a beautiful voice when they sang duets in his dream so he managed to convince joe to sing in reality and turns out joe cannot sing and cherry’s glee dreams were never the same (look i am tired lol)

joe likes being the strong one in the group and he enjoys being able to mess around / show off by just casually picking people up (he also does it as an expression of love because they’re basically hugs depending on how he holds you) and one day cherry is like… done with it ??? and just strolls up to joe and just throws him over his shoulder or something and joe combusts because he did Not know cherry can do that and no his face isn’t red shut up he doesn’t find this attractive what’re you talking about

miya wants a sword and keeps trying to convince everyone to get them one for their birthday but no one will agree because ‘they’ll hurt themselves and everyone else it does not matter that all your favorite characters have swords that does not mean You should have one’

langa is the kind of person that puts peanut butter on a cheeseburger

reki’s love language is a mix of gift giving and acts of service, but he tends to lean more towards giving gifts. his receiving love language is words of affirmation but he does Not know that yet (langa does—hence his constant “you’re amazing, reki”—and eventually so does the rest of their gang lol)

shadow likes theatre

miya has internet friends,,, so does cherry,,,

joe posts those affirmations on his story all the time

reki’s texts are sometime hard to read because a) his hands get injured a lot and b) tourette’s but langa (and soon the others) learn how to read reki texts

langa sleeps with a fan on for white noise

shadow was worried (and feeling a little left out but if he doesn’t acknowledge it, then that emotion is not real… that’s how that works, right???) since he was in the hospital when reki skated against adam the second time, so when they all went back to cherry’s to tend to reki’s numerous wounds and also celebrate friendship, miya kept shadow on a face time call the entire evening

langa has an android phone

reki is super comfortable with periods because he lives with five girls—he also usually has a couple of pads and tampons on him at all times because he’s the older sibling lol

langa wears socks with sandals,,, so does shadow,,,

shadow’s feet get cold easily so he wears fluffy socks a lot

cherry keeps his fingernails at the perfect length to dramatically tap them against the table (also to freak people out by doing that)

miya is Not a morning person

miya also likes having the windows to shadow’s car rolled up because their hair gets in their face otherwise but shadow likes them down so it’s this constant struggle

i still stand by cherry suing ad*m and using the money he won to pay for reki’s medical bills (… and shadow’s… and langa’s if he needs any)

i just feel like many people have reason to sue ad*m

ponytail langa rights

joe had really bad acne as a child and teen and cherry helped him feel less self-conscious about it and helped him embrace having acne and that’s one reason why he exposes so much skin as joe because it’s a reminder of personal growth <3

also joe has acne scars on his chin and cheeks

joe has cherry’s calligraphy all over his walls

ik i already said so in reki with ts headcanons but he doodles pictures for everyone in the sk8 fam and they all keep each and every one and shadow even puts them in his scrapbook

let langa punch adam 2k21

let reki punch adam 2k21

actually they All deserve to punch adam 2k21

miya’s favorite movie is coraline

langa can’t snap his fingers

joe and cherry always argue over whether even numbers or odd numbers are best

miya does esports

joe was in marching band and was in drumline

cherry stays up late to look at the stars and he had those plastic stars taped to his ceiling as a child

reki eats tomatoes like apples and it makes joe want to cry

okay if the atla & and the sk8 characters became internet friends… these are who i think they’d be internet friends with…

cherry: katara

joe: suki

langa: sokka

miya: aang

reki: zuko

shadow: toph

note: suki, joe, miya, and aang are all actually besties. aang is the kind of person that would usually annoy miya but they just can’t dislike aang no matter how much he may want to and they somehow find themselves attached

but suki and miya would also get along really well because I know they would and aang and joe would just have fun and like it’s what they deserve so they are interchangeable / all besties

also sk8 characters if they were benders...

cherry: fire or waterbender,,, cannot decide

joe: earthbender

langa: waterbender

miya: firebender

reki: resident nonbender

shadow: earthbender

[cherryonigiri]

nanami kento [evenings with you]

nanami kento x reader || cw: descriptions of blood/injuries, light angst

a/n: this is just self-indulgent writing for me but i'm v stressed about school rn and this is the result. just imagine that y/n is a bio/medical phd candidate lol.

Nanami can tell that you're stressed. Usually you savor the nights he's not on overtime, asking him about work and refusing to leave his side for most of the evening. He's used to you being attentive, so the fact that you've asked him the same question twice within the last ten minutes is already setting alarm bells ringing in his head. You're constantly fiddling with something, or flashing furtive glances towards the bedroom when you think he's not paying attention.

It only gets worse after dinner. You insist on washing up, something about how you want him to 'enjoy his night off.' Nanami compromises, silently grabbing a towel and drying the dishes. It's clear that your mind is elsewhere. Your hands scrub the porcelain on autopilot, and he can hear you muttering under your breath.

Every now and then you'll mutter a list of tasks under your breath. Nanami remembers you mentioning that things were hectic in lab. You're almost always still working when gets home from work, even when it's well past when you eat your dinner. It's clear that you've had a busy day-- the apartment is far more cluttered than it usually is. There are post-it and pieces of scrap paper stuck to every single surface, and a forgotten pile of folded laundry rests on the couch.

An intense burning sensation across your palm causes you cry out. "Shit!" You drop the knife you were washing in favor of cradling your already bleeding hand. Nanami is instantly by your side, firmly pressing the dishcloth against your cut. There is a worrying amount of red seeping into the fabric, so he silently ushers you to the bathroom.

It's a strange reversal of roles. He's used to being the one leaning leaning against the counter while you bandage his wounds. Instead, it's you who is perched on the marble surface, wincing as he dabs an antiseptic soaked cotton ball against your injury. "Sorry, I'm almost done," he says when you let out a loud hiss.

"It's fine," you reply, sheepishly looking away. "I should have been paying more attention."

Nanami chooses to only respond with a nonchalant hum, focusing on cleaning your palm. The two of you sit there in comfortable silence while he applies ointment to the cut, adding gauze once he's finished. It's only when he reaches for the bandages that he decides to ask. "What's stressing you out?"

Your eyes widen as you realize you've been caught. Nanami is rarely home early these days, especially since he's been mentoring Itadori on behalf of Gojo. (Not that you mind - in the few times you've met Itadori through video call with Nanami, the pink-haired student's sunny disposition has never failed to cheer you up.) When he'd texted you saying he'd be home by dinner, you'd jumped at the opportunity to spend some much needed time with him. You'd pulled out the stops, cooking something a little fancier, and intent on spending the earlier part of the evening cuddling with him. Secretly, you had planned to sneak out of bed after he'd fallen asleep (he always goes to bed early on days like these) and finish preparing for the gauntlet of meetings and presentations you had tomorrow. It was your fault for putting off the tasks, and you didn't want to let your own bad habits get in the way of some quality time with your boyfriend.

"It's nothing, I just have a lot on my plate tomorrow." You do your best to laugh it off, but quickly trail off once when you catch Nanami's deadpan expression. He's always been too good at seeing through your white lies. "I put off some work..." A raised eyebrow from him prompts you to continue, "And I was planning on doing it after you went to bed..." You can't help it when your face scrunches into a pout. After all, now your carefully-laid deception has been revealed.

When Nanami bursts into amused chuckles, you're momentarily surprised, but quickly go back to sulking. "Stop laughing at me Ken!" you whine, "I'm a--"

"Self-aware procrastinator," he finishes your sentence with an amused grin. "I know love, I know. I've seen you write far too many papers within 24-hours of a deadline to be surprised." He presses an affectionate kiss against your wrist.

You scowl at your boyfriend, snatching your bandaged hand away from his grasp. "I'm glad that my suffering is entertaining for at least one person." You stomp back to the bedroom in faux-anger, smiling when you hear Nanami's footsteps not far behind you.

When he steps into the bedroom Nanami drapes his frame over your shoulders, his warm torso nestled against your back. "It is one of your more...endearing traits," he murmurs into your ear before pressing a kiss into the crook of your neck. You can feel your cheeks and ears tingle at his words of affection.

"Sometimes you can be such a sweet talker," you mumble to yourself while you change into your pajamas. This week it's been an old Jujutsu tech hoodie and a pair of well-worn athletic shorts.

"Only for you," Nanami replies while he undoes the buttons of his outfit, chucking his tan pants and blue button up into the laundry basket in the corner. He dons a pair of sweatpants before returning your side to recapture you in another affectionate hug. It's a well kept secret of the Kento-Y/N household that Nanami Kento likes to lounge around shirtless in the privacy of his apartment. (You've been sworn to secrecy, but only because your boyfriend claims that Gojo and the students would have a field day teasing him if this information were to be made public amongst the jujutsu sorcerer community.)

Turning around, you wrap your arms around his waist, burying your nose against his torso and taking in his comforting scent. It's been so long since the two of you have had a moment to yourselves, and for once your hectic thoughts are silenced in favor of sharing a moment of calm bliss with Nanami. He hums in appreciation, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your hips.

"Do you want to watch anything tonight?" you ask after a few seconds of silence.

"No," he replies. "I was actually planning on reading the briefing Ichiji just sent me. Gojo apparently has another scheme up his sleeve." You giggle when your boyfriend lets out a pained sigh. On more than one occasion, your boyfriend has ranted to you about Gojo's unorthodox approach to exorcism. "I swear that idiot shaves a year off my lifespan every time I go on a mission with him," Nanami complains. "He's taking away the years I could spend in Malaysia."

You hum thoughtfully before responding, "Then do you mind--"

Once again, Nanami already knows what you're going to say. "Just remember to bring your laptop charger, I know you have a thousand tabs open on your computer right now," he says while exiting to the living room. After a few moments you join him, overburdened laptop and charger in hand. You both take your usual spots in the living room, him resting comfortably in the center of the loveseat and you sitting on a floor cushion, nestled between his legs. Soon you've fallen into a groove, fingers steadily typing on the keyboard. The warmth of Nanami's presence next to you brings a sense of calm, giving you the grounding focus you need to finish off the last of your tasks.

As he thumbs through the printouts Ichiji gave him, Nanami can't help but let his eyes drift towards you every now and then. You look so adorable when you work. From the way your brow furrows whenever you reread a line, to the way you unconsciously chew on your lip when you scrutinize your draft for any errors. Every now and then he'll gently run his fingers through your hair, relishing the content sighs you let out in response.

It only takes about another hour before you're (finally) closing all your tabs (he still doesn't know why your laptop hasn't crashed yet). As you scroll through social media, your head begins to droop. Soon enough you've fallen asleep, breaths coming in soft and even puffs as you rest against his thigh. Smiling to himself, he puts down his papers and gently lifts your body from the floor. He's careful not to wake you as he slowly makes his way back to the bedroom.

Setting you on the bed, he tucks you under the blankets before lying beside you. The moonlight coming through your window softly illuminates your relaxed features, and he softly traces the outline of your face with his thumb. As he continues to caress your cheek, his eyes are drawn to the dark circles under your eyes. He rarely falls asleep after you these days - between his physically demanding occupation and the ever growing number of things you are responsible for at work- he's often the first to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion while you work well into the night. Not to mention that he's had to spend an increasing number of nights away from you, either on challenging missions or accompanying Gojo's students. And while he knows most of your stress comes from being a student, he can't help but feel guilty about all the additional distress his status as a jujutsu sorcerer has caused you.

When you started dating him, you insisted that Shoko teach you how to suture. He hates how much your stitches have improved since then. The neatness of your stitches is a constant reminder of how much you've endured because of him. When he hears you trying to muffle your sobs into a pillow, he swears he can feel his heart crack in his chest, hurting more than any kind of physical wound from battle. Those nights end with him holding you tightly to his bandaged chest, murmuring reassurances and affection into the crown of your head until you've calmed down enough to fall into a fitful sleep. Even when you're unconscious he'll still continue, words morphing into apologies for the sadness he's inflicted upon your shoulders.

Feeling his eyelids being to droop, Nanami presses one last kiss against your forehead before laying down. He wraps his arms around your waist, surrounding you with warmth, hoping that his presence will be enough to keep your nightmares away, at least for tonight. I love you, y/n is the last thought he has before he drifts away, ready to dream of a tropical sunset and a peaceful future with you by his side.

[aliendes]

BTS reaction to you squirting (M) NSFW

BTS reaction to you squirting NSFW 18+

This is my first time using the Tumblr GIF feature. If you do not want me to use your GIFs please let me know, I am new to this!

Warnings: squirting?, fingering, oral, overstim, toys, they’re mostly all kind of soft doms? lol oops, marking, exhibitionism kind of

A/N: Ok so I got a request from @blushingatyou for a soft dom Namjoon with marking, praise, and oral, so I included that in here! Hope you like it! :) and also I think I have a thing for Taehyung… he’s literally never been my bias or my bias wrecker, but I can’t help but write the filthiest things for him… why lol. Some of them are short - I’m sorrrrry. If you have a request, send me an ask ;D

Seokjin was on top of you thrusting his thick cock into your pussy. He was hitting all the right spots, the tip of his dick bumping into your cervix with each thrust. You could feel the pressure building in your core causing you to clench around Jin.

“A-ah!” You yelped as Seokjin brought his hand between you and pressed his thumb onto your swollen clit, “Jin!”

“Come on baby, cum for me,” his voice was low and breathy. He was panting hard, exacerbated from the quick pace he was keeping up. The room was filled with both of your heavy breathing and the sound of his balls smacking skin with each thrust.

“So- so close, Jin,” you were out of breath, eyes screwed shut as you let your orgasm build. You started to feel a pressure in your pussy that felt foreign to you, but it felt good. Really good. “J- Jin - I,”

Before you could finish your sentence the pressure snapped and you swear you lost consciousness for a moment, only seeing white behind your eyelids. The next thing you knew, Jin had halted his movements and was staring at your pussy in awe. You looked down and saw that his crotch and abdomen was soaked. He looked up at you, a goofy grin on his face, “You just squirted, babe.”

Your face flushed at his words, one hand coming up to cover your face. “Hey,” Seokjin leaned down and pulled your hand down, “don’t hide from me. That was insane. You are so fucking hot. Do you feel good?”

You did, you really did. You nodded at him and he leaned down and kissed you softly. “Think you got another one?”

Yoongi currently had you bent over your makeup vanity in your room. You were supposed to be going out for dinner tonight, both having the night off from work, but neither of you were able to keep your hands to yourself. The two of you hadn’t seen each other in almost a week, too busy with work. You didn’t even have time to touch yourself properly. You had a lot of built up desire and the moment your boyfriend walked through your door, all bets were off. 

A sharp slap came down hard on your ass cheek as Yoongi relentlessly pounded into you from behind. Your arms were bracing you against the desk, both of Yoongi’s large hands on your hips pulling you back to meet every thrust, one coming up every once in a while to give your ass a nice slap. You had a blooming red print on your cheek and Yoongi was loving it.

“That’s it baby girl,” he drawled, voice deep with lust, “you take my cock so well.”

You moaned at his words, pussy clenching hard around his thick cock. “Mmm, you love it don’t you,” he growled, “you love this cock.”

“Yoongi!” You yelped as his hand came down another time. Your nerves were on fire with arousal, pussy dripping down your thighs and onto your bedroom floor. The pleasure Yoongi was giving you was heightened because of your lack of release this past week. 

“Scream my name baby, let everyone hear whose fucking this pussy raw.”

“A-ah! Y-Yoongi!” You screamed as his hand snaked around your front, tips of two fingers rubbing vigorously onto your swollen bud. He reached down a bit gathering up your arousal and spreading it over your clit again. The moan it drew from your throat was so lewd it had him throwing his head back as he fucked into you with all his strength. He wasn’t usually this rough, but he missed your sweet, sweet cunt so much. Yoongi bent his knees slightly, fucking up into you so he could hit your sweet spot. “Ah!” You were sure your neighbors would call the cops soon.

“Cum for me baby, cum on this cock.” 

You felt the pressure in your pussy build and build until you couldn’t take it anymore and your legs were shaking with pleasure. Yoongi grabbed onto your hips, steadying you as he fucked you through your high, never letting up his pace. It wasn’t until your post orgasm haze started to fade that you realized the puddle on the floor. “What.. the…” you trailed off as Yoongi’s thrusts started to slow.

“You squirted all over me babe,” he said, smirk apparent in his voice, “you’re so fucking hot.” He picked up the pace again and slammed into you, chasing his own high. “Let’s see how many more times you can do that tonight.”

Hoseok knew exactly what he was doing, and you fucking loved it. He currently had you blindfolded on his bed, teasing your sensitive clit with a vibrator. He’s been edging you for the better part of the last hour, bringing you so close to orgasming and then pulling away completely. You were a writhing mess on his satin sheets, heightened even further by the blindfold you were currently wearing.

“Hoseok-ah!” You screamed as you felt his tongue plunge into your pussy without warning. He still held the pink silicone vibrator against your clit and he fucked his tongue into you, drinking up your taste. “Ah!” You couldn’t control your volume at this point, hands reaching to grab onto his hair.

He instantly pulled away at the feeling of your fingers in his hair, still holding the vibrating toy. “Uh-uh kitten, hands off,” he growled lowly, “only good girls get to cum. Now behave.”

You whimpered, slowly removing your hands from him and fisting the soft sheets instead. After a moment, you felt Hoseok inching closer to you until you could feel his hot breath of your dipping pussy making you jolt with excitement. He brought the vibrator back to your bud, just lightly touching it. The pleasure bordered on painful, not quite enough to bring you over the edge but enough to have your legs shaking. “You look so hot squirming under me, kitten,” Hoseok whispered against your pussy, licking a stripe from your hole up the side of your clit. You were a moaning mess, screaming at the intense feeling of his wet tongue and the strong vibrations. 

Just as you were about to topple over the edge, you expected Hoseok to pull away again, but instead he clicked the vibrator’s strength up all the way. “That’s it baby, cum for me,” a high pitch scream left your lips as your orgasm washed over you quicker than you expected, back arching high off the bed and you clenched down on nothing. Hoseok quickly stuck his tongue inside you and you came to ride you through your high. 

You laid back on the bed, head hitting the soft pillow as Hoseok clicked off the vibrator and slid up the bed towards you. “Feel good, kitten?” 

You nodded at him, a hazy look on your face as he reached over and pulled the blindfold off you. Your eyes took a moment to adjust, and the first thing you saw once they did was Hoseok’s glistening, grinning face. “What?” You asked hesitantly at the look on his face.

“You squirted,” he smirked.

You looked down between your legs immediately noticing how wet the bed sheets were. A blush instantly rose to your face at the mess. “S-sorry,” you mumbled, embarrassed.

Hoseok propped himself up over you and leaned down and kissed you passionately. “Sorry? No - baby that was so fucking hot. I can’t wait to do it again later.” You giggled at his salacious smile, covering your face with your hand.

“You look so good, dripping wet for me, love,” Namjoon whispered in your ear. He was propped up on one hand leaning over your body, the other hand traveling down your naked body until he reached your pussy. He ran two fingers through your slick before inserting them into you, causing a soft mewl to leave your throat. “So wet, so perfect.” His mouth traveled down your neck kissing and sucking lightly on the skin until he reached your collarbone. With his fingers still pumping slowly in and out of you, he sucked light purple bruises onto the skin of your decollete, marking you for everyone to see tomorrow. “Such a pretty baby.”

“Joon,” you moaned, drawing out his name. 

“Hmm,” his lips were still sucking at your chest, moving a little lower until your perky nipple was in his mouth. He lewdly sucked for a moment before pulling back with a ‘pop’. “Tell me what you want, love,” he looked up at you, lust present in his eyes.

You squirmed a little, making him halt the movement of his fingers inside you. You let out a loud whine at his actions, making him pull completely out of you and lightly slap your clit with his wet fingers. “Use your words baby,” he growled leaning up to bite your neck in warning.

“Ah!” You yelped, “Y-your fingers, Joon!”

“What else, love?”

“Y-your t-tongue!” You gasped as his fingers entered you again, adding a third one to stretch you further. You moaned at the slight burn in your core as he curled his fingers up to hit your g-spot. “Feels so-o-o good!”

“Mmm,” Namjoon made a noncommittal noise in his throat before moving down your body, fingers still wriggling inside you. “Such a good girl,” he whispered before slotting himself between your legs. You looked down at him as he looked up to meet your gaze, “Tell me what you want again.” He loved hearing you tell him how good he made you feel, how much you wanted him and you were happy to give it to him.

“Need your t-tongue, Joonie,” you whimpered, bottom lip jutting out slightly as you bucked your hips up into his hand, “ah!”

Namjoon placed his free hand on your stomach, holding you down as he smirked, “Dirty girl, can you squirt for me?”

You could feel the tell-tale pressure building inside you as he continued to wiggle his fingers upwards. You nodded your head quickly.

“Good girl,” he growled as he dove forward and latched his lips onto your pulsing clit, pulling a guttural scream from your lips. Namjoon pulled your clit lightly between his teeth and sucked, hard. Your vision went black, hands grabbing onto whatever you could of the bed sheets, back arching violently as your high hit you like a truck. Namjoon watched in awe as your pussy clenched around his digits, liquid squirting all over his hand and face. Your body was shaking under him as he slowly finger fucked you through your high. 

Once you came down from your high he brought his plush lips back down onto your swollen bud, gently lavishing you with his soft tongue. He slowly pulled his fingers from your aching hole and ran his wet tongue through your folds, lapping up your release. His goal wasn’t to make you cum, but instead to soothe you and clean you up. He was careful to avoid your sensitive clit, pressing light kisses against it. The sweetness of his actions severely contrasted his dominant demeanor only a moment ago. 

You let out a soft sigh at the feeling of his wet muscle moving over your worn out pussy, loving the way he cares for you. Once he had you cleaned up sufficiently, he climbed back up the bed, slotting himself against your side. You reached your arms around his neck, turning onto your side. 

“Good?” He asked quietly.

You smiled softly at him, “Good.” 

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too Joonie.”

“Scream for me baby,” Jimin whispered in your ear before biting down on your earlobe, pulling the sound he wanted from your lips, “that’s right. Let everyone know whose cock is making you feel this good.”

“J-Jimin!” You screamed, legs wrapping around the hips that were pounding into you relentlessly. Jimin picked up his already impossible pace, balls making a lewd slapping sound with every thrust. 

Jimin’s hard cock curved in the most perfect way, and you truly admired his thick girth. It rubbed your walls in a way you’ve never felt with any other person. He hit all your sweet spots, and now was no exception.

Jimin brought two fingers up to your mouth and you obediently opened, allowing him to insert his digits and swirl them around on your tongue, collecting your saliva. Quickly, he reached down between you both and rubbed quick figure eights onto your sensitive clit. “O-oh Jimin!” You yelled again, not caring about your volume. Jimin’s roommates were out tonight so you didn’t need to worry about anyone hearing you.

“Are you gonna cum baby?” You nodded quickly, eyes screwing shut at the pleasure Jimin’s cock and fingers were giving to you, “Cum all over this cock baby.”

At his dirty words the band inside you snapped, arms reaching up and pulling his shoulders down to help ground you. You felt Jimin’s hips stutter slightly as he slowed down his movements. “Oh shit,” he growled, looking down between your legs. You quickly looked down to see yourself squirt all over his dick and thighs, leaving a glistening sheen on his tanned skin, “That was so fucking hot, YN.”

Jimin looked up at you with love in his eyes, like you hadn’t just squirted all over him and his bed, “You’re amazing baby,” he leaned down and kissed you sweetly before pulling back and looking at you with fire in his eyes, “my turn.”

Taehyung smiled at you as you sat down on his lap. He was sitting in the studio working on lyrics when you decided to stop by and bring him coffee. Wrapping his arms around your waist, Taehyung leaned his chin on your shoulder, “Thank you, baby.”

You smiled sweetly at him, “You’re welcome Tae. Do you think you’ll be done soon?” As you questioned him, you wiggled your hips a bit to get more comfortable on his muscular thighs. 

“Hmph -” Tae squeezed your middle a little tighter at the movement, “baby,” his voice was suddenly lower, gravely, “don’t do that.”

You looked at him, confused for a moment, before you felt his growing member on your backside. You gasped at him, turning to face him, “Tae!”

“I can’t help it!” He defended, hands sliding over your waist and thighs, “I’ve been horny all day and you sitting on it is making it worse!” He whined. 

He’s been horny all day? Well, you could help him with that. You smirked at him, causing his dick to twitch in his pants at what was about to happen. “Can I help you baby?”

His normally sweet eyes turned dark at your suggestion, “What did you have in mind?” You knew where his thoughts were going. He probably wanted to bend you over this desk and dominate you, but you had other ideas.

“Let me ride you, right here,” you punctuated your sentence with a roll of your hips, earning a groan from Taehyung. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” he mumbled as you stood up, slowly sliding your jeans off your legs, giving him a show. As you pulled your pants down, you turned around and bent forward so he could get a view of your already wet pussy from behind, covered by white panties. He could see your wetness seeping through the fabric and it made his cock throb in his pants. “Ugh, YN, look what you’re doing to me.”

You turned around and tossed your pants behind you, looking down at his crotch. He was currently sporting basketball shorts which did nothing to hide the tent his dick was making in his underwear. As you walked slowly back towards him, he slid his shorts down a bit, hard cock springing free and slapping his stomach. He wrapped a large hand around himself and gave a few lazy strokes before you straddled him.

As you slotted yourself on top of him, he pushed your panties to the slide and lined himself up with your core. You locked eyes with him for a moment, both silently giving permission to go forward. Taehyung rubbed the tip of his leaking cock through your folds, gathering up your arousal before sliding easily into you. You both moaned at the stretch of your walls, your voice cracking a bit at the delicious burn.

“Oh my God, baby, you’re so tight,” he mumbled into your hair as you leaned forward, wrapping both arms around his neck. He let out another low moan as he fully sheathed himself inside your warmth, “I love your pussy.”

You smirked, placing a wet kiss on his neck. You slowly began to grind on his dick, reveling in the way it rubbed against your sweet spot. With every roll of your hips you let out soft whimpers, spurring Taehyung on even more. He was losing himself in the pleasure of you taking control, letting his hands roam your tight body, finally resting a large, veiny hand on your ass. God, you loved his hands. His other hand came down between you two, thumb pressing onto your clit. 

You buried your face further into his neck, hips still rolling against his. “Your cock feels amazing, Tae,” you mumbled against his hot skin. 

“What can I do?” So considerate, always wanting you to cum first. 

“Lean back a bit?” You asked him quietly. He did as you asked without hesitation, leaning back in the office chair until he heard you moan loudly. The new position allowed his cock to rub against your g-spot perfectly and you could feel your orgasm building quickly. 

“Can you cum for me, princess?” He was so sweet. Something about that name sent you over the edge, halting your movements. Taehyung took over for you, slowly grinding up into your hips, helping you ride out your orgasm. “Oh god,” he groaned, his voice breathy, “are you squirting?”

You looked down, noticing the hot liquid squirting from your pussy. It wasn’t much, but it was definitely noticeable, the feeling too much as you quickly swatted Tae’s hand from your clit. 

“I- I think so?” You had never squirted before, all you knew was that you felt amazing, a little hazy, but amazing. 

“God, YN,” he groaned again before grabbing your hips and fucking up into you with abandon. You squealed at the sudden roughness of your boyfriend, which probably wasn’t the best choice, since the next sound you heard was a knocking at the door and Namjoon’s deep voice.

“You guys ok in there?”

Jungkook was currently knuckle deep in your pussy, fingering you against the wall of the bathroom. The two of you decided to go out with the boys to celebrate the completion of their album, but snuck away to have a little celebration of your own.

“You like that baby?” He asked, voice low, “Want someone to walk by right now and hear exactly what you’re doing in here?”

You moaned at the suggestion. Who knew you had an exhibitionism kink? 

“Yeah? I just felt you clench around my fingers, YN,” he whispered into your ear, which was pointless really with how loud the music outside the door was, “are you gonna squirt for me?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as you swung one leg around Jungkook’s hips, leaning farther back into the wall. “Mhmm,” you moaned into his neck, sighing at the feeling of his thick digits wiggling inside you, “feels s’good.”

Jungkook added a third finger at your admission, not quite finger fucking you, instead wiggling his fingers back and forth inside your heat. You could feel the pressure building everytime he rubbed against the spongy spot inside you. Jungkook knew how to make you squirt. Always wanting to be the best at everything, when you first got together years ago he asked if you had ever squirted. You told him you hadn’t so he made it his mission to be the first, which he succeeded in. Ever since then he could do it easily with this technique. 

“Squirt for me baby,” he mumbled into your hair as he felt your pussy tighten around his digits, sending a searing heat through your nerves. You screwed your eyes shut and twisted one hand into Jungkook’s long, curly hair as you came. Jungkook quickly pulled his finger from you, allowing the built up pressure to release all over the bathroom floor. He backed up a bit, careful not to get your release on his dark jeans. You were panting hard, hands on your boyfriend’s shoulder as you caught your breath. He reached forward and pulled your dress back down your body and fixed your panties. “You good, babe? Let’s get you cleaned up so we can get back out there.”

“Wait - don’t you want me to suck you off?” You looked at him, eyebrows raised, still slightly panting.

“Nah,” he said, a devilish smirk appearing on his face, “I’m going to ruin you when we get home.”

You gulped. You couldn’t wait.