#mean stack development blogs

[delayeddrabbles]

LAST CALL (obx post s3) request

concept: Rafe is waiting around while Sofia and her male coworker are packing up. Sofia’s coworker is teasing her about Rafe always hanging around, picking her up after work, never leaving the bar to sit elsewhere. Rafe takes the giggling and shoving to be flirting and sulks in the car, mumbling something about how she should be more careful, especially if customers treat her that same way when he’s not around. Sofia is furious, and this forces them to discuss being exclusive. a/n: I've resurrected my writing blog again. This one-shot is long at about 4k words, and the dividers belong to @omi-resources. possessiveness, jealousy, emotional immaturity, and some toxic behaviour. swearing. sexual references. No smut. proofed by @araybiaaa @lostsyren @cherubfille

Sofia can feel the chill of this lingering distance between them even after all these months. It's in how Rafe always keeps her at arm's length. No closer, no further. He's never fully relaxed. He's never quite affectionate enough. It takes him weeks to even want to sleep and cuddle. 

She's a guest in his house, never truly a part of the furniture. He'll play the gracious host, fetching her a towel or making her tea, but it begins to grate on her. The more months roll by, the more uncertain she gets about where they stand. 

She knows where he keeps his favourite cereal bowl, his Dyson, and the spare batteries. She could walk the length of his new home blindfolded, but he still seems to see her as something set apart. Something distinct. Foreign. She's not a part of his life but simply passing through. There’s no point getting comfortable. That's why it bothers her so much when he dares to step into hers. 

It happens one late spring Saturday evening. Rafe arrives, as always, for the last hour of her shift and slowly nurses a drink at the bar till she's done, pacing himself just enough to get a buzz but still drive them home.

He keeps to himself, shoulders tense, eyes down, ring tapping on the bar. At first, she thought it was simply shyness, but tonight she noticed how he turns his back when old school friends walk by or pretends he's heading out soon when his fellow developers offer a seat at their table.  The Kook from his drunken summer afternoons with the boys is nowhere to be seen. Instead, he shrinks, he’s awkward, loitering like a kid waiting for their mom to finish talking so they can leave. A familiar, unnerving twist tangles in her gut. 

Not again.

"Trouble in Paradise?" Greg drags her attention away from Rafe and back to stacking chairs.

"Something like that," Sofia murmured as she shook the tension out of her cheeks, relaxed her brows, and pushed herself back into packing up. The sooner she’s done, the sooner Greg can mop. The sooner they’re done, the sooner she could sink into a deep, hot bath in Rafe's beautiful, luxurious tub and shake off this day. 

Rafe isn’t Colin. He’s not going to hide you from his friends. There’s nothing to worry about. 

"Don't worry," Greg shimmied closer with a boyish grin and glimmering green eyes as his voice dropped to a cheeky whisper. "He's into you." 

A bolt of giddy nerves shot through her, and Sofia swiped at him. A giggle tumbled from her lips as her spirits lifted. "Shut up!” Her fingers caught in the edge of his curly dark hair as she shoved that proud smirk away. She covered her hot cheeks as she pointed a warning finger at the younger server. “You know nothing, remember? You pinkie promised me!" 

"And I take pinkie promises very seriously." Greg straightens with broad shoulders, a serious, stiff upper lip, and a fake tie he pretends to fix, and Sofia can't help but laugh again. "I'll never tell a soul what I saw until you two are ready for people to know... Doesn't mean I can't have opinions."

Greg had unfortunately been the first victim of Rafe’s unique ability to talk Sofia into reckless behaviour. He'd stumbled in on them during one of the many cocktail parties at the club in the coat closet Sofia had been supposed to be manning. They’d calmed him down and sworn him to secrecy. Rafe had wanted to offer him a Benjamin before Sofia had shot that down. 

"What opinions?" Sofia squints at Greg, fighting the blush and grin that threaten to flood her face. It was a relief to finally get to talk about Rafe to someone. To gush and giggle and gossip. 

"Well..." Greg fully sets aside the mop now to give the matter his full attention, propping a foot up on the wooden chair between them so he can lean down to her level. " I think you've got him whipped."

"I do not! Look at him. He won't even come and say hi!"

Greg immediately waved at a staring Rafe, who scowled and turned back to his drink. 

"Oh, he wants to eavesdrop so bad right now!"

"Don't be mean!" Sofia nudged him again.

"I'm serious! He's here every Saturday like clockwork. Every late shift you have, he picks you up, and he drops you back again. He's always here. Always hanging around. Asking to sit in your section even if it's the shit one under the porch. I’ve even seen him get distracted by you when he's here with those loser friends of his.” 

“You notice a lot.” 

“I get bored. Point being. He wants you...bad"

"I..." Sofia’s smile slowly fades as she searches the worn boards of the deck for reassurance. His words ring false in her ears. Rafe’s never that open. He’s never that obvious, at least not to her. He’ll pick and choose what he invites her to. He’ll tread so carefully. Something cold and heavy slithers through her belly. "I don't know..." she sighs with a half-hearted shrug and turns back to setting chairs up on the tables so he can clean. A weight settles in on her shoulders and cheeks again. “Maybe you’re right.”

"Well, how long has this thing been going on?" 

"Six months… give or take?"

"Then it must be serious."

"Yeah, you'd think that but...I don't know..."

It'd been a strange few months. Rafe had blown into her life like a palm frond in a storm, stumbling, jaunty, and unexpected. The first three months had whisked by before she could even comprehend them.

"It's weird… different..." Sofia couldn't quite put this unshakable dread into words. "He's different."

The sex was fun and hot, and surprisingly easy. Their time together felt natural and calm and bubbling with flirtation, like floating downstream on a hot summer’s day.

This whole thing could easily have just been chalked up to cuffing season and impending winter blues. They could've drifted apart while she was away with family for Christmas, but they didn't. They could've called it quits in the depths of January, and no one would've blamed them, but they hadn't.  Before she had really had time to process what had taken root between them, Ward had died, and all socially acceptable exit ramps for her had immediately disappeared. 

What were you supposed to do when the-person-you're-sleeping-with's parent dies? Back off? Press closer? Send flowers? How were you supposed to even grieve someone that half the town already believed was dead?

Things had shifted and deepened so sharply and swiftly. She saw him unravel when no one else did. She stayed over more and more. They kept to themselves more and more. That enclosed space, that intense amount of time together, gave her a crash course in Rafe Cameron, and now she felt dangerously close to falling for him completely. She could feel it coming, daunting and inevitable like a king tide slowly approaching. Overpowering and haunting and strangely beautiful. She'd had no chance to run. 

He had. Why hadn't he taken it? 

"Look..." Greg continued to flit around her as she worked. "Remember when you did that half day on New Year's so you could go to some stupid Kook bullshit on a boat.” 

“Yeah 

“I was restocking the glasses, and you clocked out and ran to quickly get changed?"

"I remember"

"I caught him staring at your outfit. Openly, Sofia. In public. Way before you even realized. He was all..."  Greg dramatically imitated Rafe, playing it up for dramatic effect. First, he was grouchy and sullen and standoffish. Then he pretended Rafe had drooled everywhere at the sight of her and fallen right off his stool, and Greg mimed Rafe getting a semi with a spare rag at his crotch as a tent. The ridiculousness of it caused Sofia to break down into breathless, stomach-aching laughter. "You've got nothing to-"

"Everything all good over here?" 

Sofia's heart lurched as she tried to catch her breath. The pair leapt apart, half expecting a lecture from their manager for slacking, only to find Rafe towering over them. White shirt pulled tight by his crossed arms. 

How long had he been standing there?

"Ah….” Sofia tried to respond as giggles still tremored in her voice, “Ah yeah..." Rafe was just as stern and disapproving as Steve would’ve been, but he hid his disdain behind that plastic smile and glassy, impenetrable eyes. She could see the white of his knuckles and the taut muscles in his jaw. " We’re good. Totally fine"

Those sharp eyes stayed trained on her as his jaw twitched. 

“Good.”

Slowly, he stepped between the two of them and twisted his back to shield her from Greg. The invasion of his personal space forced Greg to retreat. A rather obvious hand slid along the small of the back, and the cool half-empty glass in his hand sent goosebumps up her skin. Sofia was caught between the shiver down her spine and the anger curling in her fists. His free fingers came to rest on her hip as he ducked to press a firm, purposeful kiss on her temple. 

"We were just messing around.”

A soft, unconvinced hum vibrates against her side as Rafe shrugs and lifts his glass from her hip and over his shoulder to wave it at Greg. Once Greg takes the glass, Rafe goes straight back to paying him no mind, acting as if his presence here is no longer required. She sees his blue eyes squint to study her, try to catch her in a lie, but there's none to be found. 

"We're almost done," she tries again, knowing how immovable and stubborn he can be at the best of times, let alone when he's like...this. "Then we can go" 

Rafe mulls it over with a toss of his head and a debating pout before he quickly mutters, “I'll wait in the car," and gives her a curt nod and immediately marches straight for the parking lot.

God, the Camerons had a knack for making you feel like you were the one in the wrong! Like a kid in the principal's office. If he didn't cool off, if he was going to continue to snip and snarl, then that was his problem. She’d find her own way home. 

Being free to leave was one of the benefits of being a guest, after all. 

Once she'd finished her shift, Sofia found Rafe sitting in the car still, disappointingly, sitting in a juvenile sulking silence. She refused to play along, as he pulled out of the country club drive and sped through the balmy night to his house.

"Did you eat? Manny gave me leftovers?" She offered him a bite, between ravenous mouthfuls of roast vegetables that threatened to tumble over and stain his immaculate leather seats. 

He refused.

"Is the ice machine full? My feet are killing me!" 

A nod. 

"Can we stop to get fruit? I want smoothies in the morning." 

He quietly obeyed. 

It went on like that until they finally finished their silent shopping and settled back into the car. She finally caved, cursing under her breath before asking. "¿Ya estás?"

Are you done? Are you ready?

If he pretended not to understand her right now, she was getting out and walking home. All the way to the Cut. 

She saw him actually consider continuing his silly little game for a moment, and a surge of rage rushed through her. His blue eyes narrowed in the moonlight as he bristled, and the irritation still crackles in the air around him.

"He flirted with you..." he stated as firmly and calmly as he could, but she could still hear the restrained anger rattling on his tongue, "right in front of me...and you let him." 

"He wasn't -"  Sofia did her best to swallow her indignation. There was no point in having two hot heads in this car. 

"I'm not an idiot. He was laughing and...and strutting around! He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knows we're -" Rafe tripped on his own words and straight into the very conversation he'd been avoiding for months. 

"We're what, hm?" Sofia swung around on him instantly with tight arms folded across her chest. Rafe's mouth slammed shut. "He did nothing wrong, and you were a dick to him! Shoving your drink in his face like some servant." 

"That's his job!" 

"No! He's a bus boy who wipes tables and scrubs floors!” Perhaps she wasn’t going to be able to be the calm one this time. “You wanna wave your drink at anyone? Then do it at me. That's what I am. That's my job! Or did you forget who you’re dealing with?" 

"No, that's not what I'm saying."

"God, you completely blanked him..."

"He pissed me off!" 

"He wasn't even talking to you!" 

"Yeah...” He muttered darkly, turning up the AC and tugging at the front of his shirt that no doubt was trapping hot, humid air against his skin. “He was talking to you, and you flirted." 

Sofia’s eyes widened as they finally hit that bedrock. His mind was hurtling so quickly she could barely keep up with him, let alone untangle her own messy emotions. "I what?"

"You heard me," he bit back as he turned the car onto his street. 

"No, I didn’t!"

"Yes, you did! You touched his hair and laughed at his jokes and batted his arm all cute and eh!" he pulled a face as he mocked her movements and giggles. 

"Oh! so I can't laugh now?"

"Not when you know you're encouraging a guy’s thoughts!”

"What thoughts? That I'm single?"

" He was into you."

"I wasn't flirting, " Sofia huffed, dejected and amazed, flopping back against her seat again. She shifted to stare out the window as the car wound through the bends of the long coastal road, whizzing past rows upon rows of tall hedges and camera-adorned fences.  Maybe she was too low. Maybe she didn't belong. They turned around the last bend before his house as she finally broke the silence. "What's the time?" 

"What?" 

"What's. The. Time?" 

"1:30,” Rafe answered as he pulled into the drive and turned to wind down his window. 

" That's too late to wake my parents..."

She felt his head whip around and heard the seat creak and the rustle of his shirt against the seatbelt.

"You want to go home? We're literally right outside!"

She turned to him and shrugged, "I know." 

"Sof..." He groaned and let his head fall into his hands. Clearly, the thought of him driving her home to the Cut was excruciating. He couldn't stand to be in the car with her for a moment longer. Maybe he wasn't the drive you to the airport kinda guy. 

A knot rose in her throat as pain welled in her chest.

"Never mind. It's fine." She grumbled and waved the idea away, "Just open the gate. I need to sleep." 

Sofia marched straight inside to fill the mop bucket Rafe's never touched with ice for her feet and strip out of her clothes for a shower. Her dream of a relaxing, elegant bath slipping from her clutches, now her mood has sunk. 

"Sof." Rafe appears in the doorway, unannounced and uninvited, and she can't help but groan in irritation. "You can't just ignore my question."

"I didn't hear a question. I heard an accusation," she snipped, slipping out of her white polo and socks. 

"I know what I saw." He dug his heels yet again, and Sofia sighed and kicked off her teal shorts to stand tall and straight and meet his eye.

She stood there, bare and cold in her underwear and it got no reaction from him. No sympathy. No attraction. Just folded arms and hard grey eyes.

"If you're so sure you know what happened, then why are you even asking me?" She shrugged, letting her hands slap against her thighs as they fell. " You made a scene at my place of work. You came in, throwing your weight around like some caveman chasing off my friend. You've made your point. I'm yours, and everybody knows it! What? Now you want me to admit that i'm a cheat too?"

"Flirting isn’t-"

" It is to me! So don't throw that word around like that. And you wouldn't be so mad if it didn't mean something to you, too. I can't both yours and not yours at the same time! You can't have it both ways. " She sees his retort die on his tongue and she sighs and turns on the water "Now, I'm going to take this shower and ice my feet because I've just come off a massive shift which you don't seem to give a shit about and then when I'm not tired and sore and gross anymore then maybe we can talk. Ok?" 

"Fine"

Wearing his shirt felt like giving him a win. Why had she been stupid enough to concede that he'd successfully marked his territory? Admitting he had some kind of claim on her felt like letting him justify his actions.

However, the worn Led Zeppelin shirt currently folded under her pillow still called to her, in spite of herself. The shirt was a ratty old thing covered in bubbling fabric and holes at the seams where he'd grown too fast too quickly. It was a poorly chosen gift from Rose to impress a boy who was deep in his rap and dubstep era and wouldn't like rock for at least another five years.

Sofia had rescued it from his donations box during the move and clung to it ever since. It was soft and loose and made her feel like her old Pogue self again, wandering through record stores and thrift shops and squeezing every last use out of everything she owned.  Somehow between the gifts and the mansions she could feel that girl fading.

Sofia slid the faded black shirt on and padded gently down the stairs towards the distant sound of banging and the glow of the kitchen light spilling into the hall.

She finds him surrounded by an explosion of mismatched Tupperware scattered across the white stone countertop and the designer wood and resin chopping boards covered with messily cut uneven slices of fruit. 

She leans against the doorway for a moment to take in the view. The boy who was waited on hand and foot his whole life is standing in his kitchen at 2:00 am, cutting her fruit. Meal prep and school lunches weren't exactly in his vocabulary. The sight brings a soft smile to her face and warms her heart. A soft peace washes over her.

"I needed to clear my head," he explained, feeling her watching. He's quick to cover the gesture up in practicality and selfishness. 

"Here..." she quickly crosses the kitchen to reach around him and help him repack the banana properly. "This'll brown if you don't..."

“Just let me do it…”

“No, it’s fine. I can help!”

"Stop!" The clatter of the knife slamming down onto the stone startled her. Sofia stumbled back as he turned on her with a heavy, heated sigh. Like she's a nagging wife he can't shake. "God! Can you just not correct me for one second! Fuck...."

She flinched at that curse, her fingers stuck in rigid, tight claws, and her heart pounding. Hot shame quickly melted the cold panic. "I... I didn't..."

His eyes run down over the shirt, and it somehow angers him further. Ok, so the fruit wasn't the white flag she'd thought it was. They were still very much at war. 

"This whole night, you've been acting like I'm always wrong. Like I’m crazy! Like I'm seeing things that aren't there…" 

Shaken by his outburst, Sofia fumbles for her words, a knot lodged in her throat, and tears pricking her eyes. Her voice is barely a whisper, "I... I don't think you're crazy." 

"Yeah, well, everyone else does! " He gestures to the window with an erratic, forceful hand and suddenly surges forward. "You took his side!" There's a crack of pain in his voice.  "He was hitting on you, and you just laughed!"

"Hey!" She captured his flailing wrist and pulled it tightly against his side. "Hey...” She softened her voice and loosened her grip. “I'm sorry…I'm sorry.” She lifted onto her tiptoes and pulled him into a tight hug. He stiffened at first, but she held firm. “I...." Her eyes search the room for the right words to soothe him as her calves begin to ache. "I didn't mean to make you feel like this. " She gently rubbed his back, and slowly she felt his muscles unwind and his weight rest against her as she sank back down onto her heels, and he folded with her. "It was just a stupid joke. He was being an idiot and making fun of you, and I should've stopped him, and I didn't, and I’m sorry for that. It wasn't flirting. It was...he was cheering me up." 

"He was making fun of me?" 

"Yeah...I felt weird about... this. You and me. And...and so he was trying to convince me that I had nothing to worry about.”

“You were worried?”

“Yeah..." she pulled back just enough to lift his gaze to hers "We never talk about us, Rafe. We just carry on like this is normal. Like nothing needs to be said."

"What would need to be said? You know everything."

“I don’t. We’ve been coasting, baby. You’ve had a lot going on, and I get that, and it’s fine, but this thing with me won’t just iron itself out on its own. We actually have to talk about it.”

“Do we have a problem?”

“No…” she smiled endearingly at the confused look on his face as she stroked his cheeks. “The opposite. I'm not saying I want to break up. I"m saying i want to stay. I want this to work.

"You know I'm not good at this shit…" he ducked his head in shame, mumbling that admission.

“I know, but I need you to tell me what you’re thinking…Try that at least…”

"Ah ...yeah, I mean. It’s been bothering me… I thought I could just wait it out. Follow your lead but then that asshole kid-" she perched a chiding brow and he pulled himself back from the grumbling rant he wanted to slip into. His eyes lifted back to hers again. "I want this. We’ve gotten through some gnarly shit together and you haven’t quit yet, even when you probably should’ve...”

“Rafe…”

“But I can't-... That’s all I can really say right now. Promising any more than that it-...I want you here. Now. And there’s no one else in the picture.”

Sofia had braced herself for a holding response. For him to kick the conversation down the road another few months. She hadn't prepared herself for him to jump straight to exclusivity without her having to probe him. It caught her off guard, provoking a flip in her stomach.

“No one else?" she stammers fighting a beam that wants to burst forth on her flips.

Rafe ducked his head for a moment, no doubt hearing the excitement in her voice, and thankfully, he eased the tension. "Nah," he shrugged, scrunching his nose with a teasing nonchalance.

Sofia laughed freely now, wiping away stray tears. Relief flooded her as she tugged him into a warm m deep kiss that he melted into. She knew she was owed a thousand apologies, for the accusations, the raised voices, the time wasting, all of it, and yet each gentle touch, each tender peck was enough. it showed in small ways, in quiet ways, that he cared. That he understood what a blessing she was in his life, and that she could leave at any moment. That her heart was fragile and precious and not to be trifled with.

"Let's get you to bed."

playlist

[deerspherestudios]

📖FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS📖

Regarding asks, I typically avoid:

stacked questions (asks that have more than one question, so if you have several, it's better to send them one by one!)

hyperspecific scenarios (while I enjoy answering these, some can get incredibly specific to the point where it feels a bit draining haha)

questions that have already been answered

To manage the blog, I usually queue up asks instead of posting them instantly, so it might take several weeks for me to respond. Please be patient! And while I appreciate the time and thought taken to writing me a message and the growing interest in the game, understand I'm still one person and will sometimes leave a message unanswered. Thank you. ❤️

Below is a compilation of questions I get a lot about Mushroom Oasis and Mychael, so if you have a question feel free to check if it's already been answered! The list will update as needed:

🎮 F.A.Q ABOUT THE GAME 🎮

1. What is Mushroom Oasis❔ What is the rating❔

Mushroom Oasis is a visual novel made in Ren'Py that was initially released for the 2023 Yandere Game Jam. It's currently still in development as a solo project. I post updates almost exclusively on this tumblr so if you're interested in the game, you're in the right place. The rating is 16+. How did I come up with the concept?

2. How many days will the game have❔ When will it release❔

I initially planned it to have 4-5 days! But with some new ideas and routes I'm considering, it might extend to 5+ days. As for a release date, it's done when it's done. So please allow me the time to develop it at my pace <3

3. Will the game be translated to other languages❔

I'll be honest, I had no plans to. However, a few people have reached out volunteering to. I'll say for now I'm open to the idea, but I prefer people asking permission first. First and foremost, ask first.

4. Will the game be available for mobile❔ Will the game be free❔

For now, a hard no. I have zero clue how to make it available for mobile. Maybe I'll consider it once the game is fully released, but it's only for PC and Mac for now, as those are the default builds in Ren'Py.

And yes, the game will be completely free.

5. Is NSFW content allowed❔

Considering the main love interest is an adult, that's fine. However I'd appreciate proper filtering of NSFW content considering the game's age rating means there's more than a few minors in the fandom. NSFW questions aren't allowed on the blog.

Keep it where it's meant to be with proper tagging separate from the '#mushroom oasis vn' tag. Using '#mushroom oasis nsfw' should be enough? I hope.

NOTE: Now, I understand some people are really passionate about Mychael being asexual, but I can't bring myself to police people for mischaracterizing his asexuality, nor would I want to gatekeep him either.

He's a fictional character first and foremost, and while representation is important!!!/gen /srs I don't want to bring attention to any such content in case it brings unwanted harrassment on that creator for posting such content.

Please don't do that. Let people make what they wanna make. It's unfortunate, but fandom will be fandom.

6. Will there be other love interests? Will it have multiple endings❔

Due to project scope, the only romance-able character for MO is Mychael himself. The game will have multiple endings however, ranging from romantic ending, platonic ending to creepy/bad endings (because, y'know, yandere).

7. Will there be official merch?

Since I'm just done with college and newly married, the extra income would be nice! I have to plan for it and work out some logistics, but I will be working on something on the down low.

🍄 F.A.Q ABOUT MYCHAEL🍄

1. What are his pronouns and sexuality and age❔

He identifies as male, uses he/him pronouns and is a panromantic asexual. He's older than you think. ::-)

2. Is Mychael's name based off 'mycelium'❔

Yep!

3. What is his height❔

He's 6'2. He used to be 5'8.

4. When is his birthday❔

Initially it was 15th February! Simply because I happened to start designing him that day, hence his 'creation'.

I might pick another date though; for now, his birthday is undecided.

5. Favorite food and drink❔

He loves fried mushrooms and tomato juice! He hates spicy food though, as the smell and taste makes him physically ill.

6. Do you have a voice claim for him❔

Jonathan Groff, specifically his role as Kristoff in Frozen. The fandom has kinda associated it with him now, so it's here to stay haha.

7. What is Mychael's love language❔

I explain it in-depth here!

TL;DR: He likes giving gifts, and likes receiving words of affirmation.

8. How is Mychael's affection towards MC (blog-centric only)❔

So for context, as I manage the blog sometimes Mychael makes an appearance in answered asks. His answers can change depending on when you ask at the current state of the demo:

Day 1:

Day 2:

Day 3:

EXTRAS:

Mychael's Character Ref

Firefly (MC)'s Character Ref

Mychael's Playlist

Mushroom Oasis' Playlist

Bad Ending 1 Explained

[the-nox-syndicate]

SysNotes devlog 1

Hiya! We're a web developer by trade and we wanted to build ourselves a web-app to manage our system and to get to know each other better. We thought it would be fun to make a sort of a devlog on this blog to show off the development! The working title of this project is SysNotes (but better ideas are welcome!)

What SysNotes is✅:

A place to store profiles of all of our parts

A tool to figure out who is in front

A way to explore our inner world

A private chat similar to PluralKit

A way to combine info about our system with info about our OCs etc as an all-encompassing "brain-world" management system

A personal and tailor-made tool made for our needs

What SysNotes is not❌:

A fronting tracker (we see no need for it in our system)

A social media where users can interact (but we're open to make it so if people are interested)

A public platform that can be used by others (we don't have much experience actually hosting web-apps, but will consider it if there is enough interest!)

An offline app

So if this sounds interesting to you, you can find the first devlog below the cut (it's a long one!):

(I have used word highlighting and emojis as it helps me read large chunks of text, I hope it's alright with y'all!)

Tech stack & setup (feel free to skip if you don't care!)

The project is set up using:

Database: MySQL 8.4.3

Language: PHP 8.3

Framework: Laravel 10 with Breeze (authentication and user accounts) and Livewire 3 (front end integration)

Styling: Tailwind v4

I tried to set up Laragon to easily run the backend, but I ran into issues so I'm just running "php artisan serve" for now and using Laragon to run the DB. Also I'm compiling styles in real time with "npm run dev". Speaking of the DB, I just migrated the default auth tables for now. I will be making app-related DB tables in the next devlog. The awesome thing about Laravel is its Breeze starter kit, which gives you fully functioning authentication and basic account management out of the box, as well as optional Livewire to integrate server-side processing into HTML in the sexiest way. This means that I could get all the boring stuff out of the way with one terminal command. Win!

Styling and layout (for the UI nerds - you can skip this too!)

I changed the default accent color from purple to orange (personal preference) and used an emoji as a placeholder for the logo. I actually kinda like the emoji AS a logo so I might keep it.

Laravel Breeze came with a basic dashboard page, which I expanded with a few containers for the different sections of the page. I made use of the components that come with Breeze to reuse code for buttons etc throughout the code, and made new components as the need arose. Man, I love clean code 😌

I liked the dotted default Laravel page background, so I added it to the dashboard to create the look of a bullet journal. I like the journal-type visuals for this project as it goes with the theme of a notebook/file. I found the code for it here.

I also added some placeholder menu items for the pages that I would like to have in the app - Profile, (Inner) World, Front Decider, and Chat.

i ran into an issue dynamically building Tailwind classes such as class="bg-{{$activeStatus['color']}}-400" - turns out dynamically-created classes aren't supported, even if they're constructed in the component rather than the blade file. You learn something new every day huh…

Also, coming from Tailwind v3, "ps-*" and "pe-*" were confusing to get used to since my muscle memory is "pl-*" and "pr-*" 😂

Feature 1: Profiles page - proof of concept

This is a page where each alter's profiles will be displayed. You can switch between the profiles by clicking on each person's name. The current profile is highlighted in the list using a pale orange colour.

The logic for the profiles functionality uses a Livewire component called Profiles, which loads profile data and passes it into the blade view to be displayed. It also handles logic such as switching between the profiles and formatting data. Currently, the data is hardcoded into the component using an associative array, but I will be converting it to use the database in the next devlog.

New profile (TBC)

You will be able to create new profiles on the same page (this is yet to be implemented). My vision is that the New Alter form will unfold under the button, and fold back up again once the form has been submitted.

Alter name, pronouns, status

The most interesting component here is the status, which is currently set to a hardcoded list of "active", "dormant", and "unknown". However, I envision this to be a customisable list where I can add new statuses to the list from a settings menu (yet to be implemented).

Alter image

I wanted the folder that contained alter images and other assets to be outside of my Laravel project, in the Pictures folder of my operating system. I wanted to do this so that I can back up the assets folder whenever I back up my Pictures folder lol (not for adding/deleting the files - this all happens through the app to maintain data integrity!). However, I learned that Laravel does not support that and it will not be able to see my files because they are external. I found a workaround by using symbolic links (symlinks) 🔗. Basically, they allow to have one folder of identical contents in more than one place. I ran "mklink /D [external path] [internal path]" to create the symlink between my Pictures folder and Laravel's internal assets folder, so that any files that I add to my Pictures folder automatically copy over to Laravel's folder. I changed a couple lines in filesystems.php to point to the symlinked folder:

And I was also getting a "404 file not found" error - I think the issue was because the port wasn't originally specified. I changed the base app URL to the localhost IP address in .env:

…And after all this messing around, it works!

(My Pictures folder)

(My Laravel storage)

(And here is Alice's photo displayed - dw I DO know Ibuki's actual name)

Alter description and history

The description and history fields support HTML, so I can format these fields however I like, and add custom features like tables and bullet point lists.

This is done by using blade's HTML preservation tags "{!! !!}" as opposed to the plain text tags "{{ }}".

(Here I define Alice's description contents)

(And here I insert them into the template)

Traits, likes, dislikes, front triggers

These are saved as separate lists and rendered as fun badges. These will be used in the Front Decider (anyone has a better name for it?? 🤔) tool to help me identify which alter "I" am as it's a big struggle for us. Front Decider will work similar to FlowCharty.

What next?

There's lots more things I want to do with SysNotes! But I will take it one step at a time - here is the plan for the next devlog:

Setting up database tables for the profile data

Adding the "New Profile" form so I can create alters from within the app

Adding ability to edit each field on the profile

I tried my best to explain my work process in a way that wold somewhat make sense to non-coders - if you have any feedback for the future format of these devlogs, let me know!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimers:

I have not used AI in the making of this app and I do NOT support the Vibe Coding mind virus that is currently on the loose. Programming is a form of art, and I will defend manual coding until the day I die.

Any alter data found in the screenshots is dummy data that does not represent our actual system.

I will not be making the code publicly available until it is a bit more fleshed out, this so far is just a trial for a concept I had bouncing around my head over the weekend.

We are SYSCOURSE NEUTRAL! Please don't start fights under this post

[haru-dipthong]

Fansub release + translation notes for Utena ep 23!

Another episode with a title change. I feel like I’m getting more liberal with these — I don’t think this one strictly had to change, but I prefer this translation over the original.

条件 can mean qualifications, conditions or requirements. For example, 条件付きの契約 (a contract with conditions), 一定の条件を満たす物件 (a property that meets my requirements). The phrase “Qualifications of a Duellist” evokes for me a stack of paperwork that a person has to complete before they’re allowed to duel, which isn’t right. The intended meaning is more like “What Qualifies One to be a Duellist”, but this is too verbose, so I reduced it down to “What Makes a Duellist”.

The reason I changed the title in this case was again because some of the dialogue calls back to the title, and I wanted to make those callbacks clear. In particular, this line:

You met someone important to you, long ago. And your life was forever changed. That’s why you’re here. That illusion. That’s what makes you a duellist!

だから決闘場に入れたのさ！(lit. That’s why you can enter the Duelling Arena!)

Mikage doesn’t explicitly say the word 条件 here, but he is making the point that Utena’s fixation on their memory of the past is something that all duellists NEED before they can even enter the arena — in other words, a requirement, a condition (of entry). That memory is what makes one a duellist!

Miki: But I thought you hated them, Nanami. Nanami: I don’t like her, but the student council is in crisis.

I’ve talked about pronouns a few times before, especially early on in the project, but it’s been a while since something like this has come up so I thought I might revisit my reasoning and strategy behind the conflicting pronoun choice for Utena here.

As the student council comes to accept Utena for who they are, I decided their use of a gender neutral pronoun for Utena would indicate their closeness with Utena as a friend and their understanding of them as a person. For Miki, he becomes friends with Utena and his use of the “they” pronoun is meant to indicate that he’s accommodating his friend’s identity, even if he doesn’t understand it.

For Juri, her use of “they” for Utena is more hostile. It’s a way of distancing herself from Utena. It’s her way of accepting that Utena is not “one of them” (as in a perpetuator of heteronormativity) but also not like her. I think Juri rationalises that Utena must not be a woman, since Utena is entitled to miracles and happiness (and Juri is not) despite seeing a shared queerness in the both of them.

Nanami still sees Utena as a woman at this point in the story. She hasn’t yet gone through a development that would allow her to gender Utena as nonbinary. That’s why we get this brutal exchange where Miki they/thems Utena, and Nanami pointedly contradicts that gendering with her own.

Of course, none of this exists in the Japanese because they rarely use third person pronouns (though Nanami does use 彼女 for Utena in this scene in particular). There is no passive-aggressive fighting over how to gender Utena. But I like this as a tool to compensate for the inability to translate Utena’s first person pronoun, so despite it not being something that explicitly exists in the original, these themes and ideas do exist, and I want to use them in an English language way.

@dontbe-lasanya did an particularly awesome job with the edit on this episode! Lots of really great changes that made it sound so much more natural!

Be sure to follow the blog if you'd like to stay up to date with new releases. For all episodes released so far, go here:

Rose divider taken from this post.

[failbettergames]

The Great Hellbound Railway

The Great Hellbound Railway is an expansive storyline that unlocks after your Persuasive reaches 175, and once you are a person of sufficient importance within London. These new additions expand upon activities and round out stations throughout the journey.

New Research Projects in the Jericho Library

"There are few pleasures greater than being in a library of one's own."

There are two new research projects available to everyone with a Library in Jericho! Return to the Oddlion Septagonal Reading Room to hit the stacks in pursuit of obscure knowledge and errant citations. Pursue forbidden histories of mutability and countervailing mysteries of the Elder Continent in the supreme comfort of your own library, and overturn popular scholarship in style.

These new projects are a permanent addition to the Library, and join the Hinterlands research project as always-available avenues of research.

Practising Law in the Courts of the Evenlode

"The traditions of the Evenlode are older than the courts in London, and the appointment of unconventional counsel is an expected part of proceedings. In fact, many here would be doomed to represent themselves unless you deign to offer your services."

You can now intervene in trials at the Courts of the Evenlode! You've been a spectator for long enough; it's time to wade into the fray and put your legal nous to good use. Defend rattus faber from the sticky fingers of local urchins. Prosecute the case of the Guild of Gondoliers against the Society Matron. Work out exactly what this Rubbery Man is being charged for, and how exactly he feels about it.

Pursuing justice in the Courts of the Evenlode is a permanent new activity, available to all players who have spent enough time in the Magistracy.

Story Additions to Burrow-Infra-Mump

"It is as though it grew in some other place where the colours are brighter and more vivid than our world can support. It is, unquestionably, a rose."

We've released a short new story in Burrow-Infra-Mump! London's ill-fated war against Hell casts a long shadow. Debts remain unpaid, relationships strain, and old obligations come due. A rose has appeared in Burrow-Infra-Mump; a curious plant of petal and bone that neither London nor Hell seems enthusiastic to claim. Cultivate it, or burn it to the ground, and learn of its relevance to the conflict of '68.

This short story is available to anybody who has completed the development of the church at Burrow, and starts via an Opportunity Card in Burrow-Infra-Mump.

It is also now possible to develop the old ruins at Burrow into a secular freehold. This is an alternate means of completing the station, and does not commit it to any faith or denomination.

New Artwork

Finally, something that you might just have gathered from this blog post already. Each station along the Great Hellbound Railway now has its own unique header art! New artwork joins the existing headers for Ealing and Station VIII, so keep an eye out for these new delights all up and down the journey to Hell.

[ixhika-jsx]

Ixhika's studyblr 𐙚 (introduction)

I started my studyblr not long ago then a week I guess ? No body knows bout me yet tho but that doesn't matter for me...what matters is that this is my blog - MY JOURNEY

Hey you all ,

Myself Ishika a.k.a eunhee

She/her - INFP - capricorn - age 15 and half (yes I am small comparable to my class because I skipped several classes)

Born on 11 january......

I would say I am 5'5 and healthy weight (so you all can visualise me if you want)

A high-school student from India- 11th grader - non medical, Which means my subjects particularly are:

• Mathematics (weakest subject for me)

• Chemistry (love and hate relationship)

• Physics (second fab)

• English (oml fab)

• Computer science (piece of cake for me)

I actually started my studyblr because I lost interest in studies while ago because of all the stress and pressure.

when I see the studyblr community I actually feel really United yk what I mean...

Intrerests: 🚦

There are lot of things that interest me like seriously.....

Dance , singing , playing basketball , editing videos ,

writing books (fanfics , thriller , actions mostly) ,

programming ( I am actually a full stack web app developer) ,

Baking , stock market ( if you know what I mean) , learning korean (I am kinda trying¿)

Well I am into kpop and kdrama too

Targets : 🎯

I am actually currently aiming for 11th final exam GPA to be 4.7 atleast

Next milestone is of 12th boards final exam GPA to be around same 4.7

Most important milestone and the second final one is that JEE MAINS AND ADVANCE exam (yes I am a jee aspirant)

I want to do something related computer science yk and forensic science so I dunno

My back up is a lawyer/judge in business because I am actually really good in social science subjects yk and business interests me a lot so yeaa

Final milestone is that I want to be a dance choreographer.....that's actually my dream...idc it can even be part time but I am not gonna abandon it.

MY THIS YEAR *BTS* BLACK SWAN CHALLENGE

CYBER FORENSIC INVESTIGATOR *MASTERPOST*

MY POST CATEGORIES:

#studyblr ixh

#diaries ixh

#life goes on series

#writing ixh

#tips ixh

#venting series

#black swan challenge

#achievement ixh

Thats it for the introduction I guess.....I don't think there is more to add in it...uhh yeaa 🏷

I wish to make friends here in this studyblr community !! So let's be friends? 🫶🏻📎

[whiskeythefishski]

OPENING LINES WRITING GAME!

I was tagged by @lilac-hecox for a lil writing game!

List the first lines of your last 20* stories. See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

*however many you wanna if you don't have that many

I only have eight fics up, and I think I already know what pattern I'm going to find - But heck yeah let's go!

In order of upload date (oldest first):

Kiss Me Like You Mean It: The party is in full swing by the time they arrive.

And I Can Survive It (For Only So Long): “Listen,” Alé sighs, pushing up her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose. “I know there’s some sort of… history… between you two-”

Thank You, Olive: Jackie hums absentmindedly as she tidies up from dinner, stacking greasy paper plates and crumpling napkins into a garbage bag.

(make for me) A Soft Universe: When Spencer developed a cough and a headache on Saturday, he didn’t think too much of it - just chugged some DayQuil and took the excuse to stay in his room and play Fortnite with Alex all day.

hold on to the memories (i will hold onto you): “Shayne! Shayne! Honey, are you okay?”

trying to stifle my sighs: “Okay, so explain to me again how this isn’t a date?”

lullabies from the soft side: “I don’t think the place on Highland is going to work,” Spencer says, placing the shopping bags on the counter.

it's so obvious i'm your number one: “You’re sure this is the place?”

(And I'll include a couple as-yet-unpublished pieces too just for fun, although these are more examples of how I open scenes I think!)

death gods au (working title: your sharp and glorious thorn): As he pulls back the heavy beaded curtain, Spencer is buffeted by a cloud of sharp-smelling smoke.

prequel to/spommy meet-cute in "trying to stifle my sighs:" The pair of them are almost cartoonishly suited to each other; her willowy frame compliments his bulk like a vine winding itself around the trunk of a tree.

---

Okay so the pattern i knew I'd find is that I really enjoy starting off with a line of dialogue. I think I read in a book when I was a kid (perhaps 'Writing Magic' by Gail Carson Levine?) that it was a good thing to do and it's always stuck with me. It helps get me immediately into the mind of my POV character, and I like to think/hope that it helps hook a reader by kinda dropping them right into the scene.

Of these openers, I think I like "hold on to the memories" the best. I feel like instantly knowing that something has just gone wrong would intrigue me as a reader.

Tagging!!! @lorelilly @sheisaquarius-blog @soupy-girl @spennininomenon @toomuchsmoshbrainrot @june-rassicpark @vc55bughead @doubleboyfriend @drowninginredink

[puckpocketed]

bonjour, i'm from vancouver but i have the worst sleep schedule ever so with onhockey dot tv by my side i'm abt to get into the aihl. who should i root for

BONSOIR!!! rip sleep schedule . I am a devout CBR Brave blog so, there’s only one answer here <3 some propaganda for you

i have personally met our starting goaltender Aleksi Toivonen and he’s a big sweetie . it was during this year’s off-season in uhhh february? and he was hanging out at our rink getting his reps in. i barely knew about the team back then so when he said he played for them i was like !!! and he let me take a very blurry photo 🫶

we’ve always been kinda good in a way that makes people a bit mad LMAO!!! won our first Goodall Cup 2018? so if you wanna root for the team where everyone’s praying for your downfall… get in here <3

on the topic of always being good; we’re so stacked that when IIHF Worlds is on, our roster gets STRIPPED because we have a lot of Australia’s best players! this year it happened and resulted in . um. a 9 game loss streak? <3 we were DEAD last in the league for a while. but the boys came back and we clawed our way to 2nd place in our conference pretty neatly

despite being so good, our rink is SHIT. i’m so serious. as a local, i’ve been to it and skated on it. god. soft, bewretched, small ice. there’s a fucking TRENCH between the boards and the ice too… like you could lose a small earring down that gap 😭 AND during intermission our zamboni does her best but often we have issues with flooding. smallest ice surface and smallest barn in the AIHL i do believe! this is because there’s been a decades-long power struggle between the owners and the government. (the streets are saying it has also historically been a pretty unfriendly place to the hockey players because the owner’s wife was a figure skater so her and her people always got preferential treatment LMAO) ANYWAY the propaganda part is . we play and practice on this ice and in this shitty old barn and we are still TORCHING the league <3 in a way i feel like we are the scrappy underdogs (we are not. but. we are to ME!!) anyway imagine what we could do with real facilities jskdjshsklff

canberra’s a small world so this team is just a bunch of brothers playing hockey together,, i’m SO serious. we got FOUR kubara brothers !! TWO miettinen brothers. and 2 Yorks !!! GONGEOUS NEPOBABIES..!!!

we just signed Austin Cangelosi and he’s boybestfriends with our guy Jake Ratcliffe and i love seeing them gossip on the ice like two girls at a slumber party. Cangelosi is 5’7 and got 🤏 this close to the NHL during a time where size was absolutely everything. i have the scouting notes from his draft year, and his overage draft years — i think if he’d come up in this era somebody would’ve taken a shot at him in like the 5th-7th round?? but alas. smash cut to now: he’s a small, fast, skilled player and has a relentless motor. if he stays with us next year he probably contends for most points in the league. he’s very good and fun and i louve heem…

i was talking shit about the Brave Cave but i love her so bad. we have new management who i deeply despise on a moral level because they’re a property development/building company, but aside from that they’ve put staff in place to make the vibes of pre/post games SO good. we’re hoping with this acquisition we will finally get the new rink we were promised in uhhhhh 2017. but who CARE!!! right now the capacity in the Cave is about 500, but it is apparently THEE most miserable place to play in as a travelling team. we’re a very rowdy crowd. we don’t boo our guys. we are deeply intimidating down to the last small child in CBR Brave facepaint.

on the topic of vibes: there are a few personalities at the rink who are pretty much fixtures. 1) the Cow Bell Guy; which is what it says on the tin. he brings a cow bell to every game and clangs it whenever something cool happens. when i say every game i mean like. i’ve seen him on monday nights when our beer league teams play godbless. (chatted to him a few times, his kid is a hockey fanatic and an ipad baby LMAO). 2) the Screamer; also what it says on the tin. Legend has it about 15 years ago she discovered hockey in an Autism Way and now she attends every home game and stands in the exact same corner. she heckles the SHIT out of the opposing team and honestly it would be kinda offputting if it was my team she was yelling at but she’s on MY side and so she’s a hero to me <3 i initially thought she was an overenthusiastic WAG or something but. no. she’s just on the hockey freak juice.

anyway. root for MY team. CBR BRAVE BEST TEAM OF ALL TIME EVER EVER EVER AND WE GOING TO THE CUP!!!!!

jokes aside please choose whatever team u like and have fun <3

[theblogvibe]

Dovian Digital: Redefining Global Reach with New York Precision

Introduction: Building Global Influence Starts at Home

Success in 2025 isn’t just about going digital—it’s about going global. Dovian Digital, a premier digital marketing agency in New York, has become the go-to growth partner for brands that dream bigger. More than just running ads or optimizing content, Dovian builds digital ecosystems that help businesses cross borders, scale smarter, and connect deeper.

Why New York Powers Global Growth

New York is where cultures collide, ideas ignite, and innovation is currency. Dovian Digital channels this high-impact energy into its work, crafting custom marketing strategies that work just as well in Dubai or Sydney as they do in NYC. In a city that never stops moving, Dovian keeps your brand a step ahead—globally.

Dovian’s Global Services Blueprint

Unlike traditional agencies, Dovian integrates every digital service into a results-driven roadmap:

SEO at Scale: From technical audits to geo-targeted keyword optimization across languages

International Paid Media: Region-specific ad creatives with cultural sensitivity

Full-Spectrum Web Development: UX/UI that performs from Lagos to London

Global Social Management: From content calendars to influencer tie-ups, globally aligned

Multilingual Content Strategy: Scripts, captions, blogs, and visuals designed to translate meaning, not just words

Real Impact: Global Brand Wins Powered by Dovian

EdTech Expansion into Latin America: By launching a Spanish-first content campaign, Dovian helped an EdTech platform see a 240% user increase across Mexico and Colombia.

Consumer Goods Growth in Canada and Australia: Tailored Google Ads, local PR campaigns, and geo-fenced offers led to a 6x return on ad spend.

Crypto Exchange Marketing in MENA Region: By localizing UI/UX and publishing Arabic content in trusted fintech portals, Dovian secured a 38% increase in verified signups.

What Sets Dovian Digital Apart

Cultural Empathy: Not just translation—true cultural adaptation.

Cross-Platform Fluency: Omnichannel mastery from email to TikTok.

Agile Frameworks: Campaigns that shift based on real-time feedback.

Transparent Growth Models: Milestone-based KPIs, tracked in real dashboards.

What the Next 5 Years Look Like

Dovian is not preparing for the future; they’re shaping it.

AI Assistants for Campaign Planning

Zero-Click Search Strategy for Voice & AI Interfaces

Green Messaging Templates to align with eco-conscious buyers

Regional Data Clusters for Hyper-Personalization at Scale

Why the World Chooses Dovian

Their processes are global-first, not US-centric

Their tech stack is designed for multilingual, multi-market rollouts

Their storytelling is human, regardless of language or screen size

Final Word: Think Global, Act with Dovian

In a saturated market, you don’t need more noise—you need more strategy. Let Dovian Digital, the most trusted digital marketing agency in New York, help you scale your brand across languages, borders, and time zones.

Contact Dovian Digital

Phone: +1 (437) 925-3019 Email: contact@doviandigital.com Website: www.doviandigital.com

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello! Early 20s female ESFP here with a question about ego development. I’ve spent the entirety of my teenage/adult life vacillating between level 1 and 2 and I’ve never managed to make it to level 3. My question is whether it’s possible to reach level 4 without ever going through level 3, or whether I need to go through level 3 first - and if I do need to go through level 3, how does that work exactly? What characteristics or abilities will I develop in level 3 which are necessary to progress to level 4? Is it harmful for me to attempt to reach level 4 now? Or should I just forget about stages of ego development and instead focus on developing my dominant and auxiliary functions?

If it’s relevant, the reason for my delayed ego development is trauma and mental illness, but I’ve had a lot of therapy and been prescribed medication so I think I’m stable enough for self-improvement.

Thanks so much for your blog btw, it helped me realise the root of my problems (Fi resistance, Te loop and Ni grip) and start taking steps to improve myself!

---------------

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I don't think you're asking the right questions. I dislike questions that start with "is it possible..." because they often end up being too theoretical to be useful. So what if it is theoretically possible? This does nothing to answer the question of whether it is possible for YOU, given the particulars of your case.

You haven't provided enough concrete details of your case for me to draw any firm conclusions. You haven't described what these "levels" actually look like in your mind or how exactly your loop/grip behaviors manifest. Without this information, all I can do is speculate wildly about what's really going on with you.

I won't speculate but explain what needs to be done in a nutshell:

I wouldn't say forget about ego development and just focus on functions, because, ideally, the two ought to go hand-in-hand. Any kind of weirdness in one or the other is a flashing sign to you that something is not right, and you have to take those signs and use them to spur improvement.

For example, an inexplicable desire to "skip" an ego level is often an unconscious extension of unhealthy tertiary loop behavior. It means your underlying intentions aren't coming from the right place, which could lead your type development astray.

Applying this to your type, if you truly want to understand what level 3 ego development is about, you MUST develop healthy use of Fi. Without healthy Fi, aiming for level 4 is very, very likely to reactivate and even worsen Te loop. Correspondingly, wanting to skip over level 3 is likely to be an unconscious manifestation of Fi resistance.

It is very important to develop healthy use of your functions in the correct order of your functional stack. And if you happen to be on the wrong track, there will be signs that are reflected through ego development problems. At that point, you know you need to change your way of thinking or your method of approach.

As nice as it would be, personal growth isn't a straight line. There will be plenty of confusion, conflict, setbacks, obstacles, and failures along the way. The key point is whether you can be honest about what you're really doing and why (cultivate self-awareness), and then correct course as necessary.

If you can be honest with yourself, Se+Fi will ultimately lead you to a good place. Discover the things you love and devote yourself to them. Make sure your time is well spent producing tangible good for yourself and others. The rest will then fall into place naturally.

[mihai-florescu]

i think i feel pretty similar to you in that the world is terrible, depressing, it sucks. that’s it’s natural state and we will always return there. but i thank that even though it hurts there are ideals unhampered by reality, stories we can create where that cycle ends for a moment in a happier direction. it isnt our job or duty as there isnt any grand purpose like that, but there is an opportunity out there to create a story with our lives. whether it’s a well known story or lost by the wayside, those who acknowledge the layer beneath the cheery “reality” that is peddled can be writers of their own. i might be delusional and there really is no hope but i hope to create stories for people to enjoy that elusive dream in if only for a temporary respite and cant give up until i well and truly fail. i don’t know if any of my thoughts speak to you in any meaningful way, but i felt compelled to share as while i think we share beliefs we seem to have come to rather different conclusions. i want to give my life to a story, an art, that will hold ideals the real world can never truly embody and thus cannot really give up as every taste of the real reality only strengthens my resolve. is there something like that for you? i’ve read your blog for a while and in my mind (which is an inexperienced mind so I apologize for sharing its fallible perceptions) you seemed like a fascinating person who holds ideals the world refuses to embody and is slowly sinking under that weight. i know it’s not really my place, so i apologize for my audacity, but i believe that you are the sort of person who can create a true happiness for yourself eventually. well, i mean i kind of have to if i believe that for myself. i have more to say, but it seems this is become a ridiculously long message. i apologize, my words likely have crossed between ideas and lost sense at times. i hope they help, or at least don’t harm. i hope you find loveliness loveliness in your day as you deserve it.

I've been journaling about this yesterday... my entire outlook on life i guess? I know i used to be creative and make projects that i found fun, but i cant find this drive in me anymore, i'm more than ready to give up (if only upset at the way it ended so im pressuring myself to make a good Last Project, but nothing is good anymore. It's all so...plain. useless. banal. there's no wit or multilayer to anything i can come up with anymore. I cant develop an idea anymore. There are enough stories, enough artworks, plenty of them bad, theres no need for me to add to it). Im sure it's just burnout stacked on top of depression and general worsening misanthropy and paranoia, but i don't think i will ever feel more hopeful again.

However i do think art, literature, games, even just stories from other people are keeping me grounded. They're also humanity's only redeeming quality - imagination will save our souls... but my position isn't to be an artist anymore, i cant spare the energy and i dont see a point in it either. I cant do a single basic living thing anymore that others seem to be able to do? I very much feel like an npc trying to do my most necessary tasks as best i can, failing more often than not. I hate getting asked what i'll do on a day off (it used to be often at my internship. I dont even want to imagine what they thought about me, that's another can of worms that still haunts me and contributed to why i became like this). The answer is quite literally Pretend I Dont Exist. I will not do anything. I cant do anything. I stop existing the second you stop seeing me, im just in bed dreading the next time i have to be human. I think when other people say they didnt do anything it's a hyperbole, but i can go weeks, and i have gone months even, without leaving the house, if i wasnt expected to.

Part of me wants to think, hope, i could maybe even get interested in making things again if there was no expectation for me to be a person for a few years, completely disappear off the grid (the expectation to be a person that just doesnt come natural to me anymore... and a specific one at that - achieving goals and moving forward, working, with ambitions or any sort of drive, young and energetic, an only child with a good education earning a living... i despise the idea of making money. I despise consumerism too. I want to fund artists, family owned restaurants, bookshops, cafes, and i do, i spend so much money without realising, but i'm really worried i'll run out and not be able to make any to survive once im older and wont get funds from my parents anymore. So i try to save and fail... My family friends, same age or even younger, are buying their own cars and apartments, successfully working multiple well paying jobs at the same time, with plans for the future...? Id like to know both how and why. How do you have the energy and why do you care. But even if they tell me the answers it doesnt change how i feel in my own life)

But this also has skewed my perception of other people... it connects to how i dont actually understand friendships anymore, im sure i mentioned it recently. Like with being an artist, there was a time i did understand and had deep friendships, i think, but it's quite alien to me now? In the way im not real until i have to interact with someone else, and even then, debatable, theyre not real to me either. Like i know this isnt a good mindset to have but it's either everything is real and i genuinely believe we need to disappear, to put an end to this sad species soon, or nothing is real and everyone's just playing a role in a story i get to watch. In a way taking away people's humanity and making them characters in my head is out of kindness, im being delusionally optimistic and quite frankly parasocial even with "friends", but it keeps me floating, stable. Ish. Still kind of empty but entertained enough. But then actually having a conversation outside my head with them is scary, unpredictable... on good days that can be fun too. My roommate always says i end up on side quests a lot if i leave the house, i think im just open to witnessing new stories... just on good, no, great days though, i cant stress that part enough. Great days are getting rarer and rarer. Most days pass by while im in bed and in my head trying to process anything, where i can barely have a coherent thought, and i wait for the day to end. Today was good for example but i still didnt manage to do anything to earn me the title of person, yet it was good because i 1. Ate, and 2. Didnt cry.

The part of your ask that hit me the most was when you said i seemed like a fascinating person, past tense. Im sure i was, but nowadays im very little even a person. Cant be helped. I hope i managed to explain how and why. If you ever want to share your art, my dms are open, i can maybe tell you about my gallery of failure wips i cant stand to look at anymore. I saw the followup ask with your personal info but im not quite sure what else to say... even this ask took too long to answer and now i need a nappp

[arokomaeda]

I really didn't expect my previous post to flare up such a discussion, so I feel like I should clarify my stance. My write-up was not meant to criticize Mu Qingge's character. On the contrary, I appreciate that her dynamic with Su Yishui has flaws to it because it makes both characters more realistic, it shows that love is not perfect. In particular, it shows that self-sacrificial love, while powerful and transformative, also has its drawbacks. I only covered how MQG's love for SYS had some negative side effects, but trust me, I know that the way SYS treats her in return also has its downsides. I'm happy to do a write-up on how his issues affect Xue Ranran at another time.

As a whole, I'm very happy with the way their relationship develops, and the positive impact they have on each other far outweighs the bad. I mean, come on, I'm utterly obsessed with these two to the point where I revived my blog just to blab about them. It's just that when I tossed them around in my mind for so long, I couldn't help but notice the subtle ways their relationship isn't perfect, and it prompted me to wonder why that's the case.

Regarding SYS, the Spirit Spring, and whether he needed MQG to suppress it - this is more of a thought experiment than anything. It made me consider that perhaps we, the viewers, and MQG are both underestimating SYS's character. In fact, he is very strong-willed and always tries to forge his own path no matter how much fate is stacked against him. I really admire this part of his character.

Would SYS have been demonized without MQG's interference? With Dun Tian in the picture, yeah, probably. But hypothetically, if MQG had the time to convince him to work with her to seal the Spirit Spring, wouldn't that be ideal? (Again, I realize she didn't really have the option to do this for various reasons, but we don't see her consider it at all. She just takes everything into her own hands, that's the kind of person she's always been. It's a trait that can be both a strength and a weakness.) Thankfully, she changes and does collaborate with SYS later as XRR, and it's the better ending for both of them. They learn to do things with each other and not just for each other.

[andmaybegayer]

latest Freddie DeBoer seems odd. It's very focused on a sort of consumer-facing understanding of technology for a lot of its runtime. He's not wrong that the changes are smaller than they were in the 1800's but like. That's the low hanging fruit, we all know this, the jump from "not having trains" to "having trains" beats almost any improvement in "trains"

A major change technology has brought to the modern world imo is heavily streamlined manufacturing all across the industrial stack.

If you read like, Bunie Huang's Made in China blog series, in the early 2000's getting a piece of technology made required enormous in-person investment of time and effort working with your manufacturing teams across a pretty broad number of suppliers and industries, you had to get PCB's made, components sourced, moulds designed and set up for injection.

I know people manufacturing small to medium run commercial and industrial electronics, and I did that at my last job. You order machine populated PCB's from your favourite Chinese PCB solutions provider over a web form. If you need ten thousand buttons, you can get that delivered with three emails. Hell, if you want a custom genome to use for some experimental bioreactor, there's multiple competing suppliers who will mail you plasmids that you can customise from online templates and you don't even have to talk to anyone.

And that's just mass manufacturing. If you're making a few thousand of some high end medical equipment, or still in the development phase of design, you can order a titanium laser print to be delivered by the end of the week, or run off a dozen prototypes on your company's fleet of printers using body safe plastics.

Consumer needs don't change much because people are people, we have limited capacity to need things and do things. I've long said that no human can digest more than 50Mbps of media in real time, really. One home cook can only economise their movements so much. A food processor and a pressure cooker can save you some time but the solution to"I want to spend less time cooking at home" will eventually become "don't cook at home, lean on industrial manufacturing of food" and that's fine. There's only so much tech can improve your individual experience before you become the bottleneck.

Faster computers sure, means you can edit video on your phone a little quicker (also hey people ARE editing video on their phone, despite what this blog post says) but it also means Netflix can serve their 4 Petabytes of video library at 400+Gbps from a single server occupying less than 50 liters of space.

It seems disingenuous to act like consumer products feeling stagnant means technology is stagnant.

[luxet0bscuritas-blog]

JOMP Book Photo Challenge / November / 10 / better than the first book

Unfortunately, I couldn't participate in the book photo challenge over the last couple of days as I was preparing and hosting a mystery dinner which was quite lovely, but also pretty exhausting due to long shifts at work beforehand.

Now, after a restful night's sleep, I'm finally feeling recharged and ready to focus on reading and blogging again. :)

For today's prompt, I'm sharing one of my favourite paranormal fantasy series by Yasmine Galenorn. These books were hugely popular in Germany when I was a teenager, and Weltbild, an online-shop for books, sold absolutely beautiful hardback edition of the first three books. As far as I know, there wasn't a single household back then that didn't own this series. Even my mother-in-law still owns the editions from back then. As I became more passionate about the English language, I started collecting the series in English, and now a well-loved stack of worn-out paperback editions proudly decorate a small spot on my bookshelf.

So, what’s this series all about?

The Sisters of the Moon basically follows the story of three sisters—Camille, Delilah, and Menolly—who are part-human, part-Fae, each with their own unique magical abilities.

Camille, the oldest, is a witch who draws her power from the moon to cast spells. Delilah, the middle sister, is a fierce werecat who struggles to balance her human side with her animal instincts. Menolly, the youngest, was once an athlete before she was turned into a vampire against her will. Together, they face dark and dangerous forces that threaten not only their city of Seattle, where most of the story takes place, but the entire human world—and even the Otherworld.

The series alternates between the sisters’ points of view, starting with Camille’s perspective in the first book, followed by Delilah’s and Menolly’s in the next two. This pattern continues throughout the series, allowing each sister’s story and growth to unfold in turn.

What I’ve always loved about this series is the way it blends thrilling supernatural battles with the characters’ personal journeys. While the action-packed plots are full of magic, demons, and epic showdowns, the sisters' emotional lives and relationships are just as central to the story. Whether it’s Camille’s complex and tumultuous love life, Delilah’s struggle to control her werecat nature, or Menolly’s healing from the trauma of becoming a vampire, the series delves deeply into their character development. It's a beautiful mix of magic, romance, spice and personal growth.

That’s why the second book, Changeling, is my pick for today’s prompt. I've always had a soft spot for Delilah, and I see a lot of myself in her. She’s constantly wrestling with the tension between strength and vulnerability, wanting to be strong for both herself and her family, but often feeling overwhelmed by her emotions and her werecat instincts. Her inner struggle to find balance between these two sides of herself is something I can really relate to. Whether it’s trying to juggle ambition with self-care or pushing through when everything feels out of control, Delilah’s journey mirrors a lot of my own experiences.

What I love most about Delilah is that she doesn’t hide or suppress her emotions in order to appear strong. Instead, she embraces both her fierceness and her softer side, showing that strength doesn’t mean shutting down vulnerability but that they can coexist simultaneously. She’s one of those rare characters who feels real and comforting, someone who teaches you that it’s okay to be both strong and gentle at the same time. For that reason, Delilah is one of my absolute comfort characters.

[how2hack4web]

I decided to make this blog as a blueprint for someone like me. Someone who has dreams of financial freedom, as well as freedom of time. Someone who wants a life where they can spend time with their family and show up in the ways needed by their kids but also needs to put food on the table and pay for vacations. If you just heard about bug bounty, cyber security, web penetration testing, red teaming, or any other number of terms used and feel like it might be a good fit for you, I'm going to spend the rest of my very first post telling you why you're wrong. If by the end of it you disagree with me, you're probably cut out to be a hacker. My opinion is specific to hacking web applications, and I consider myself a future specialist in API hacking. Firstly hacking websites is extremely technical. Even a basic understanding of how a full stack application functions requires you to have a basic understanding of about 3-5 programming languages, and how they all interact with each other. Beyond that you need to understand the hardware at play these various languages are using to talk with. I'm using extremely simple terms here but hopefully you get the idea. Developing a hackers mindset I honestly think just isn't for everyone. I don't care what anyone says I believe there is a certain amount of emotional maturity required to be a successful hacker. I say this because the process of developing the skills I just mentioned takes a long time. For a genius I'd expect at least a year of dedicated study to become a credited rookie hacker. You don't just need to be intelligent though, you need to be a good learner. Cyber Security is a constantly evolving field that demands you be a life long student. If you don't love it, you'll burn out fast. You're also up against AI, so you better be ready to be a pro if you wanna make it. This means discipline despite motivation. Further proof of the requirement for emotional maturity. Additionally you're not gonna see much fruit from your labor for quite some time. You won't make money along the way as you acquire this skill. If that's what you're after, go learn a trade. If after reading this you're thinking something like "I don't care, I still want to learn," congrats. You're probably gonna be a great hacker. In my next few posts I'll talk about important first steps, and how to take them. If you read this far, I love you.

[theworldvsyoshiko]

Robot's Ocean has already gone on for about $80k wealth higher than any of the previous colonies and my save file seems precariously close to being bricked, so I've been thinking about wrapping the colony up and moving on.

As a sanguophage mechanitor with psylink level 6, every (non-mechanitor) implant she can possibly get that doesn't come with significant drawbacks, 9+ in every skill, and now a spouse, I think Yoshiko's development has kinda plateaued. Making her dramatically stronger (by, say, making all the sanguophage stuff into endogenes and then stacking a new xenotype on top of that) would take a ridiculous amount of time. Otherwise, the only real ways for her to get stronger are luciferium or by upgrading some of her bionics to archotech, and once you're at the 'every body part is bionic' stage already, those are pretty marginal upgrades. Skill-wise, all but two skills are into the range where they decay, and since she uses almost every skill on a daily basis, the levels are just going to keep fluctuating up and down as her focus shifts. Also, she's like... 35 now. It'd be weird if she ended up older than I am. So this doesn't feel like a bad spot to let her retire from active duty and enjoy the rest of her immortal life in peace.

Which leaves me debating where to take things in the future. Somehow I'm not bored of this yet, and the blog's follower count has doubled over the past week or so, so apparently somebody still wants to read this. Various options include:

The strongest contender in my head is roughly repeating the original start, but without the mechanitor part. Starting off with a lone child who doesn't have robots to fall back on. (Obviously this would be a different girl named Yoshiko.) This would probably involve making a custom scenario to give her appropriate gear and starting tech, because useless child Naked Brutality might be a bit much. Not sure if I'd go for the orphanage thing again, or try a different goal. It'd need some limitations, or else the kid can just recruit some adult help in the first month, which kinda defeats the purpose. I'd also probably have to disable the exostrider corpse in the scenario, or she could just rush becoming a mechanitor anyway.

As above, but start as a non-baseline xenotype to shake things up a bit. Incompetent 13 year old sanguophage could be an interesting way to help the kid survive while introducing its own problems to work around. Otherwise, maybe yttakin, impid, or waster? Yttakin and impid both have powers that would make combat a less dicey proposition early on. Waster could live in wastelands, which comes with its own benefits and challenges.

Or start with a new 13 year old mechanitor, but try the solo mechanitor thing, never allowing anybody else to join the colony. This would remain an interesting challenge for longer, but it also might be a little boring to talk about since there wouldn't be any character interactions.

The way opposite option would be something like using VFE - Tribals to start out with a pre-neolithic group and try to progress from 'what the fuck is ""fire""???' up to building a spaceship or something. Which would very likely be a generational kind of deal, because historically that takes a while.

Just start a new colony with Yoshiko and Cindy and keep going. The orphanage thing has been pretty fun to play tbh, and while Robot's Ocean is pretty secure now, as the Hospital Rockets Incident demonstrated, just because she's super-competent doesn't mean that bad stuff can't happen. On the other hand, starting with two competent adults, I think things would snowball a lot faster. This would probably involve using Character Editor or something to ditch the current save and start a new one, presumably with a mod or two disabled. Although unfortunately, one of the prime candidates for the mod that's breaking things is the one that allows for humanoid mechs.

Or have Yoshiko pass off the torch, giving a mechlink to one of her kids upon 13 and sending them off into the wilderness to continue the cycle??