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reallyromealone · 2 months

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Title: oh hey a mate(s)

Chapter: one

Fandom: obey me

Pairing: demon brother's x male reader

Warnings: suggestive themes, readers got truama, internalized gender hatred, anxiety, panic attacks, mentions of being a breeding tool, self hate, reader doesn't really understand sex, sexual themes, omegaverse, male reader, mentions of mpreg

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"HE STOLE THEM FROM ME!" (sisters name) Screeched out in a rage as she threw things around "they were supposed to be MY mates! And he stole them! That whore stole them!" She was hyperventilating at this point as her body shook, feeling robbed of her alphas.

Of her life, the thing she wanted more than anything.

"I know sweety but maybe we can set you up wit--"" I don't want someone else! I want the princes!"

And she was going to get them.

She swore it.

'fuck you (name)'

Holy shit this place was big.

God he felt under dressed, especially beside these alphas who were dressed so fancy and perfect.

The floors were marble and two grand staircases winded on each side and paintings that had to be centuries old hung on the walls "we will have one commissioned for you soon enough... Maybe one with us all" Belphegor yawned as he wandered the halls "for now, let's get you settled in" he said and looked to a nervous looking Leviathan who nodded.

(Name) Was nervous as he walked beside the demon who seemed to want to be anywhere but here "I-im sorry if I wasn't who you were expecting... I'll try and not step on your toes" (name) whispered, anxiously fiddling with his fingers and looked down "i-i dont-- fuck... I'm really nervous and anxious and just I don't really talk to omegas often so I'm just--" the demon seemed panicked and (name) felt relief flood through his veins as he pumped out calming pharamones for the Alpha "hey... I get it, if it's any consolation... I'm not great with people either-- hell I think this is the first time I ever left my families property!" He laughed a bit but Leviathan was shocked at his words "you never been into the capital or even your home town?" He asked genuinely and (name) shook his head "nah, my parents didn't trust me going out there-- you know how troublesome an Omega can be"

What the fuck? That's all Leviathan could think as he looked at the Omega worried "I- you're not troublesome?" He whispered and (name) just smiled "I try not to be" (name) giggled a bit as they continued to (name)s apartment, the Omega expecting a quaint bedroom but...

"I think we went to the wrong room.... This is awfully big" (name) said softly to the envy demon who looked confused "you like your apartment?" Asmodeus popped out from nowhere and pulled (name) close with a flirty grin "we had the butlers being your things in, don't worry we didn't let them unpack... Pharamones and all that ~" he pulled (name) into the apartment and (name) felt overwhelmed by all this "there's a nesting room there~ if you need help don't hesitate to ask"

"A-are you sure?"

"Sure of what?"

"That this is for me?"

"You are to be our mate, I personally wanted you with me but Luci wanted you to have your own space... Something about acclimating" his words teasing and (name) chuckled but cut short when his stomach growled and the two demons looked curious "oh yeah! Humans need to eat for survival!"

(Name) Felt embarrassed as he silently cursed his stomach for exposing him like this as the demons looked at one another in a silent conversation.

They were definitely having a sibling meeting later.

(Name) Dissociated during the rest of the evening, eventually ending back in the rooms he was given, the size of his old house if not a bit bigger...

Everything was pristine as he took out his belongings, his prized possessions and small hobbies to occupy him.

A few heirlooms and books and his childhood stuffed toy 'this will go in my nest' he thought as he looked at the nesting room doors, two ornate doors in a rose gold shade, the apartment all light colors unlike the rest of the palace.

It was a strange contrast, almost like they didn't know what to expect so they just made what they thought humans liked. It was funny really, demons trying to understand what humans wanted or needed as he was doing the same, wondering what these demons wanted or liked.

Getting up he went to the nesting room and was overwhelmed by the nesting supplies he was given, piles and piles of blankets and pillows and soft things, his purring could probably be heard from outside the apartment as he snuggled into them, a sense of safety he wasn't quite used to washing over him.

He was excited to make a large nest, spending half the night making it perfect for him to rest in and just not think about the fact he was to be mated on his next heat to seven strangers that were also fucking royalty! Well there goes not thinking about it because here he was!

Also his sister! Holy shit she was mad! And like at his wedding she will be there! Fuuck!

(Name) Was just sitting there head in hands as he processed the fact that within 24 hours he was now engaged and now in the public eye!

(Name) Curled up closer into his blankets and let out a shutter of a sigh, he wondered if he would be able to do the things he enjoyed before... Would he be allowed to garden? Would he have to dress more Omegan? Or would he be able to wear clothes that were comfortable?!

He needed to walk, movement to process this.

Getting up he walked out of his apartment and into the hall, dark and grand, ceilings at least 15 feet tall and paintings lined, some he recognized as the siblings and some unfamiliar as he walked around curiously.

Somehow he made it to the kitchen "I hope they don't mind..." (Name) Whispered as he sliced an apple, careful and gentle as his stomach growled a bit.

"Can I have some?" A voice startled him out of his thoughts causing him to slice his finger "shit!" The voice said and (name) looked to see Beelzebub who in turn looked a bit startled as he took (name)s bleeding finger and put it in his mouth, the Omega looking thoroughly concerned as Beelzebub sucked on the blood "I feel like this is incredibly unsanitary" (name) whispered worried and beez released his finger "demons saliva can heal amongst other things, depends on the demon really"

"Oh " (name) said dumbly as he looked at his wet but healed finger "what else does your saliva do?" He asked curiously and Beelzebub smiled at the others cute and curious expression "ah, well besides healing my saliva can work as an aphrodisiac if ingested!" (Name) Looked concerned and Beelzebub laughed "don't worry, it only works if I were to like make out with you or eat your ass!"

And now (name) was flustered as the gluttony demon kept laughing at his embarrassment "so why are you up so late?" Beelzebub asked after calming down and sealing some apple slices and cutting up some more, handing (name) an orange "just... It's stupid"

"Oh please!" Beelzebub pushed and (name) sighed "I'm just... I'm having trouble processing this stuff, it's stressful and like-- I never left my property let alone this! My sister wanted to be with you guys and she's already insufferable, this is just worse! I'm just paranoid that you guys are going to realize that like this was a mistake and reject me and like the fear of being an Omega in general! Will I be able to do the things i enjoyed before? Will I be a breeding tool?!" He was hyperventilating now as Beelzebub panicked "hey hey, calm down! It will be alright and-- no we aren't making you a breeding Omega.... shhh" beez tried to calm him as footsteps quickly made their way to the kitchen.

"What is happening?" Lucifer and the others seemed startled as the smell of distress was heavy in the kitchen "he's worried we will strip him of his rights and make him carry our young" Beelzebub explained as he lifted (name) into his arms and set him on the counter "were demons but we aren't monsters" Satan said disgusted and Asmodeus smiled "we would never do that unless it's what you're into~" he teased the Omega as they crowded him "I know it's an incredibly hard adjustment but know we mean well, it's literally impossible for us to not fall for each other" it's true soulmates would eventually fall for one another due to the bond "and we are sharing one mate so that means you have seven people to love you" mammon said in a rare moment of genuine care "what do you mean?"

"Oh yeah, he knows basically nothing about secondary gender or soulmates" Levi said softly and the demons looked horrified "well I know what we are doing tomorrow" Satan said simply and (name) looked ashamed and couldn't meet their eyes, feeling stupid for his lack of knowledge.

"Well his town is backwards" Belphegor yawned and wandered off back to bed now that the problem was solved "goodnight...."

(Name) Was led back to his room by Beelzebub and Asmodeus and looked confused when they put sweaters in his arms "the smell of your alphas will calm you~" Asmodeus said simply and the two wished him a good night.

And for once?

He sleped peacefully.

(Name) Spent the next few days learning about soulmates and secondary genders, the two interlocking "when your heat comes, it will be dangerous for you to not mate with your soulmate" (name) read the book in his off time, the book explaining how the bonding is key to not cause rejection symptoms or a drop, he definitely didn't want that. Fuck how does he have sex? Fuck.

Time to go figure that out, he really felt behind on this shit.

(Name) Made home in the library as he looked for any books that would aid him "Hmm? Looking for sex books ~ didn't know our omega was like that" Asmodeus seemed to love just appearing out of thin air and scaring (name) who dropped the book "i-i it's not like that!"

"Hmmm? And what is it about? Oh you're so cute when your flustered!" He cooed and (name) huffed "I am trying to figure out like, how sex works and stuff... I wasn't exactly taught... Just put on suppressants so my family could avoid it" he just constantly felt ashamed with them, their faces of realization and pity as (name) tried not to cry "well, if you like I could teach you~ don't worry I won't touch you where you don't like" Asmodeus could get used to his omega so flustered as he got closer, his alpha giddy at his mate being untouched "the first thing one should know is their body after all~"

"I- uh... I'm not sure..."

Asmodeus let his lips barely touch (name)s as he caged him against a bookshelf and smiled, his tail flickering and (name) seemed a bit startled by it All as the demon gently kissed him "that was... Uh.." "your first kiss?"

"Yeah..."

"Did you like it?"

(Name) Could only nod as the lust avatar giggled sweetly at his adorable Omega "oh, you're going to fit in nicely here~!" He doted on (name) a bit "don't worry darling, we won't do anything your not ready for but if you're willing... To experiment a bit, I'm always a summon away" and with that he was gone, (name) left with nothing more than the smell of his pharamones, sweet Jasmine and warm vanilla.

It wasn't till after lunch that Lucifer brought him to the gardens, a small greenhouse and a garden plot stood "we had it cleaned up, you said you liked gardening" he said simply and looked down at (name) who looked like he was given the potion of youth "really? Thank you so much..." (Name) Was releasing the happiest pharamones and Lucifer kept composure but god damn did that boost his ego as an alpha, making his mate happy.

"Just clean yourself off after you finish" Lucifer said calmly and (name) beamed at this "of course!"

(Name) Puttered in the greenhouse and began planting things, thankfully it was early in the season so he had time to make a nursery for plants "oh, sor--" (name) immediately shut up as he saw Belphegor sleeping in a sun beam, cozy and calm. Looking around (name) found his cape that Satan had made for him and covered the demon with it "it's still chilly" he whispered and went back to work, unaware the demon was awake and watching intently at the Omega who was carrying heavy pots and sacks of soil around.

(Name) Kept quiet for the Alpha, he must be so exhausted to fall asleep in a greenhouse of places so it would be best to let him rest! Eventually (name) moved outside, it was less chilly but a slight chill but movement will keep him warm! Using twine he found in the greenhouse he sectioned spots of the garden plots for various things like carrots and garlic amongst others, they were still in the nursery but it's good to get things ready now, he reasoned with himself.

"Your Highness! It's quite cold!" A servant panicked as she saw (name) in nothing more than a shirt and pants and apron, dirt on his cheek "don't worry! I'm alright!" He reasoned but she was not having it and removed her cape "it's not good for an Omega to be cold like this!"

Before she could drape the cape on (name), he felt fur on his shoulders as Mammon smiled with a warning "don't worry, he's warm" his eyes telling the servant to leave and (name) looked confused "oh hello!" (Name) Smiled at the demon who felt annoyed at how sweet the other was, his bond making his heart beat fast "Luci wanted me to take you into town so get ready" he grumbled and (name) nodded, a simple smile on his face as he wandered to the palace "where's your cape anyways?! It's freezing for mortals!" He chastised and (name) chirped "Belphegor was sleeping and I wanted him to be cozy!" (Name) Couldn't explain why he felt so calm and comfortable with the princes but they made him feel safe, even if they were sometimes like angry chihuahuas.

"You're weird" mammon said with no bite as they walked to (name)s area.

The tailors and seamstresses worked tirelessly to put together some clothes for (name) and his new class, the maids commenting about how the seamstress always kept embroidered sleeves on hand as the brothers always tore clothes during training--- well save for Asmodeus and Belphegor who couldn't be fucked to do stuff like that.

(Name) Felt regal, a beautiful vest made of silk and embroidered with birds and roses and a linen powers shirt and nice pants and expensive boots "you look wonderful your Highness!" A maid commented, (name) growing fond of his personal maids who cheered him in, them all being mated and married betas.

(Name) Was curious as he looked around the city, never really interacting with so many people who looked at he two in awe, the guards keeping a fair distance as he looked at stalls "you seriously never been in a city?" Mammon said incredulously and (name) looked confused "no? It's not right for an Omega to be by himself around alphas, I would be a temptation" reiterating his parents words and Mammon was horrified at the omegas genuine belief that HE was the problem and not alphas who couldn't keep their hands to themselves "well we are unpacking that later"

He didn't even want to get into the family thing, remembering the chat he had with his brothers when (name) had his meltdown and the acceptance that their Omega came from a very problematic living situation but he seemed to be acclimating well.

Or at least he hoped.

Mammon was confused as (name) handed him a stuffed bunny "what is this?" He raised an eyebrow from behind his circular sunglasses "well we didn't get to actually court because of being soulmates so I got you all courting gifts" he chirped out innocently, remembering what he was taught by Lucifer and deciding to put it in action though he seemed to have gotten it backwards as it was supposed to be the Alpha who gave the courting gifts.

"I- uh... Thank you?"

(Name) Seemed pleased as they continued their walk through the cities market, a giant hub of the equally giant city as Mammon stared at the bunny that was made of fabric the same color as his eyes, a small detail that made him flustered.

He noticed (name) budgeting, a soft smile on his face "you know we have basically endless money, right?" Well mammon didn't, he was cut off and put on a strict budget but (name)? He still had his money privileges "that's your money, this is so much!" To (name) it was a lot of money as he did the budgeting of the house back with his family, this was ten times of what they made in a year! "I am fine with this"

Hell, how did they get the exact opposite of them?!

A nervous Omega who was innocent and naive and sweet as honey!

"Oh you are absolutely precious!" Asmodeus cooed at the stuffed rabbit that fit in his hands "I hadn't even thought of courting!" He said with exaggerated sadness and (name) watched the others alphas reactions, though it wasn't the fanciest courting gift, it was a genuinely thoughtful one.

"He was worried about spending the money, he literally budgeted it" mammon groaned and Lucifer snorted "you could do well to learn that" he said as (name) seemed reminded and handed him back the coin bag, the Omega barely dented it "I got a few things for my hobbies but I brought back the change!" He said sweety and Lucifer had cute aggression at that moment as (name) looked at him with so much pride "you know you could have spent all of this right?" He said a little slow, (name) nodding "but that would be rude, I'm spending all your money without care... I don't like that"

Seriously, how did they manage to be fated with the sweetest Omega?!

"He didn't even but himself actual things for himself! He bought things to make us things!" Mammon groaned out but they all knew he equally swooned at the fact their Omega was so sweet.

But also he didn't buy himself anything, Asmodeus has had to bring him to eat and Beelzebub would put food on it.

"Rural Omega culture is different than cities, they're treated more as a commodity" a maid explained to Asmodeus one night as she helped him get ready for bed, she herself being an alpha from the boonies "an inconvenience would be a better word though, everything your saying shows he was treated like how my love got treated, need to make them feel genuinely valued" she went to explain how omegas need regular scenting and assurance to keep mentally regulated and (name) probably never had that.

Which would explain why he seemed like he was constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop despite growing used to them.

Like it was all going to go away.

His dreams were often that, every night he dreamt of waking up in his old room as his sister lived the life she wanted and he was stuck in that musty bedroom where he would rot.

"Your dreams are noisy" Belphegor mumbled as he crawled into bed with (name) and held him close, pumping out pharamones as he thought smugly about the fact he's technically been in bed with (name) before the others. (Name) Snuggled in his chest and physically relaxed, chirping in his sleep as he clung helplessly to him and he was hooked.

He wanted this more and was already annoyed he would have to share with his brothers.

(Name) Let his mates to be plan the wedding though he and Beelzebub thought of food together, the demon horrified at how little foods he got to experience and made him try everything for the wedding and smiled at his happy face with good food "these are mirangue cookies! Like eating plaster that loves you!" He exolained and (name) basically melted at now delicious it was.

Beelzebub was more than happy to share food with him, his alpha wanting the Omega to be well fed to carry his pups after all.

They were all anxious for mating, their bond slowly making them VERY intense about (name) who after weeks, finally sat close to Satan as he read with him though (name) did struggle a bit "omegas being taught to read is laughable, I taught myself as much as I could" he explained and that's when Satan decided he would read for (name), the two spending an hour or two in the library reading together like how Lucifer spent his time teaching (name) new things when he wasn't busy or just dragging him along with things.

(Name) Was always well behaved, he thought of (name)s family and how they were... How did this come out of THAT.

But now, (name) had one worry...

Would he invite his family to his wedding?

#obey me x male reader #obey me x reader #demon brother's x reader #demon brothers #male reader #x male reader #omegaverse #omega male reader #obey me omegaverse #anime x male reader #anime x reader #Asmodeus x male reader #Lucifer x male reader #Beelzebub x male reader #Belphegor x male reader #Leviathan x male reader #mammon x male reader #satan x male reader #reader insert

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the-music-maniac · 4 months

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Not that I read mpreg all that often (not really my thing generally speaking) but I came across some "Sanji is pregnant" fics in the sanzo/zosan tag, and not nearly the same amount for Zoro. It got me thinking about the trope. I think the lack of Zoro fics here is a tragic oversight. I think we as a fandom are absolutely and tragically ignoring the potential comedy gold of Zoro being the one to be pregnant instead.

Because when people write Sanji, the general trend I'm seeing (upon scanning through some of the fics quickly) is that he's cautious about it. Conscientious, careful to make sure things are okay. Which - arguably I could see, Sanji is probably the more practical of the two (not by a whole lot but still)and he didn't have a good childhood. Sanji being pregnant is usually a fic about his heaps of parental issues, childhood trauma and angst - which is fun to read. It's good. It's amazing, even.

Zoro being pregnant is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT gonna be a COMEDY. We're talking about a man who once tried to fight Kuina holding like 20 bokkens. We're talking about a man who got stuck in wax and thought the reasonable solution was to cut off his legs.

The entire crew spends the next 9 months tearing their hair out, preventing Zoro from doing stupid shit (exhibit A: cutting off his own limbs). They spend the same amount of time trying to stop Luffy from gum-gum-grabbing Zoro and yeeting him anytime he needs to get them out of a sticky situation.

The crew (mostly Sanji) is on 24/7 prevent-zoro-from-drinking-alcohol duty (impossible). Chopper is constantly stressed in the later months cause no one puts it past Zoro to get lost somewhere, give birth out in the woods and come strolling back with a baby tucked under his arm. They have to start hiding Zoro's dumbbells.

Franky and Usopp design and build a nursery and spends the entire time suspiciously teary eyed. Sanji tries to pretend he's unaffected but spends an entire night creating a 9 month meal plan of all the nutrients Zoro and the baby are gonna need. Not even a day later, one of the crew finds him up at 2 am making a mountain of food because Zoro made the mistake of offhandedly mentioning he had particular pregnancy craving within earshot of Sanji. In the end Zoro has to sit on him to stop Sanji from running himself ragged.

Robin keeps spouting morbid childbirth facts and quotes from parental advice books in equal measure. Nami keeps going on shopping sprees for cute baby clothes and adding the cost of them to Zoro's debt. Brook keeps writing lullabies and trying to sing them to Zoro's stomach. Zoro 100% uses his pregnancy belly as an excuse to walk around without a shirt 24/7 without getting nagged.

Somehow word gets out that the famous pirate hunter Zoro is pregnant, and at the next big fight with the Marines, half the soldiers refuse to fight him and instead start telling him to sit down, take it easy, shouting advice at him etc. Etc. Zoro loses his shit a little bit and cuts their boat in half.

Mihawk, upon finding out, tells Zoro in no uncertain terms that that is his grandchild and he's expecting them to visit so he can meet the baby when they're born. Zoro vehemently denies that Mihawk is his father (he is). Zeff upon finding out, is almost as bad as Sanji when it comes to being a mother hen. Perona buys even more baby clothes for the baby. She buys one singular shirt for Zoro as a joke, and it coincidentally happens to be the exact same brand of "mama" crop top he was forced to wear in that one filler episode. Zoro tries to chuck it into the ocean (he fails).

I'm essentially saying it would be absolute chaos, and it would be the funniest thing I've ever read. 9 months of Marimo wrangling. Can you imagine the look on Zoro's face if one of the opponents he was fighting were to tell him that he's "glowing"?

PLEASE, I would actually wheeze myself to death. The best part is you can still have plenty of Sanji angst. He still has parental issues except now they're flavoured with "I'm not ready to be a father" and "I'm terrified I'm gonna become my biological sperm donor" and "please don't die because of childbirth complications, that happened to my mother(sort of, I know she died after but it kinda counts), and I can't handle that happening again to you". Lots of cute/tender moments of Zoro comforting and reassuring Sanji. We can even have Zoro angst. He probably views protecting his crew as the one and only job he's good for (not true but that's probably what he thinks). Not being able to fulfill that is probably not helping his self esteem, and that sense of uselessness warring with his need to protect the baby - but the contradictory thing here is that to protect the baby he HAS to sit back and let other people do that FOR him. That plus all the other restrictions, people treating him differently, but him at the same time refusing to view his own child as a weakness. Imagine the havoc that would wreak. Oh my god.

Y'all don't understand, I don't even read mpreg that often and yet this is literally my ideal fic HAHAAAAA

#we already know Zoro would be a good parent considering how he is with kids but pregnancy? different matter entirely #i don't know much about jimbei yet so sadly i can't write much about him feel free to comment any headcanons y'all come up with though #zosan #sanzo #zoro x sanji #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #cat burglar nami #monkey d luffy #nico robin #op franky #op brook #god ussop #tony tony chopper #mpreg

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wangxianficfinder · 12 days

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Fic Finder

May 2nd

~*~

1. I'm trying to re-find a fic that is a bit of a crossover between TGCF and MDZS but with Wei Wuxian reincarnated as Xie Lian with all of his memories intact, Lan Wangji was reincarnated as Hua Cheng but didn't have memories of his past life. Hua Cheng, Mu Qing, Feng Xin later reacts to Xie Lian's past life as Wei Wuxian after an accident. I'm really searching for this fic everywhere but I can't find it:: It's totally fine if you can recommend anything close to what I'm looking for if possible ^^ @daily333

FOUND? Fated by drunkkidd (G, 12k, WangXian, HuaLian, WWX & XL, XL & HC, WWX & LWJ, HC & WWX, XL & LWJ, WIP, BAMF WWX, Hurt WWX, HC & XL are in Love, Married HuaLian, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX Needs Therapy, WWX Needs a Break, Poor WWX, WWX is Not Okay, Reincarnation, Rebirth, Suffering, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm) I haven't read it myself, but it seems to fit the parameters

~*~

2. Hi, thank you so much for offering this service. It’s certainly appreciated!

I wanted to find two fics if that is okay.

A) The plot of the first fic: LWJ is a controversial singer. He’s known for his explicit music videos, and is openly gay. I think the fic author was representing the mindset of early 2000’s. His manager is Jiāng Yanli, they both bonded over WWX, who’s presumed dead but is missing. It’s also LWJ fucks. He has sex with various people, one of them being his background dancer but he doesn’t date anyone because he’s in love with WWX. WWX is actually living in hiding, (from Meng Yao). He returns and LWJ and him get together. There’s a whole car chase scene as well when he goes back to get Yuan and the rest of the Wens with Jiang Cheng.

B) The second fic, I don’t remember much from it except a scene that’s been nagging me. It’s a WangXian getting back together fic. Basically WWX returns and while LWJ doesn’t give into him right away, they still end up getting back together. LWJ had a hard time with WWX leaving. The scene that I’m referring to is in which Lwj comes home, and wwx mentions to him he and LXC spoke. LWJ panics because he’s afraid wwx will leave him again and I recall the dialogue being something along the lines of

“No, he had no right” or “he doesn’t get to take you away from me again” he starts crying I think.

WWX calms him down by saying he’s never leaving him again no matter what, even if LXC wouldn’t approve he doesn’t care for others and the only one who matters is LWJ.

Thats about it. Thank you for all your hard work! Xx

Hiiii! I am the person who asked for 2a and 2b in your May 2nd post. The first one is the one I was desperately looking for! Thank you so much for your hard work. 2b isn’t either of those, but much similar. I wish I could provide more context, but I don’t remember much. I believe the scene was Lan Zhan coming home and Wei Ying coming to the doorway mentioning how Xichen called and they spoke, Lan Zhan could’ve been hiding about wei ying coming back I think. Lan Zhan panics thinking wwx will leave him because he assumes xichen was mean to wwx over the phone and he’s scared he’ll leave as a result but wwx calms him saying no matter what he’ll never leave him again. I’m sorry for the trouble, thank you once again for your support!!

2A)

FOUND! always on my mind by sami (E, 42k, WangXian, LWJ/Other(s), LWJ & JYL, Modern, references to past Lan Wangji/others, references to past WWX/WQ, Family, Sexual Tension, set in the early 90s, Grief, Erratic Gay Superstar Musician LWJ, life is what happens in the in between, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Children, Pregnancy, not mpreg, Parenthood, Music Videos, LWJ's Gremlin Tendencies, WWX's Gremlin Tendencies, Drag, Daytime Television, Bitches Get Things Done, fictional daytime talk shows, Q&A, Slice of Life, Awards, shows, any resemblance between OCs and real people living or dead are coincidental, Communication, and how LWJ is bad at it, LWJ's weirdly wholesome kink inclinations, LWJ's aggressively artistic musical career, References to Major Character Death, Celebrity stuff)

2B)

NOT FOUND Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink)

NOT FOUND 🔒 Life as a House by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 55k, WangXian, Modern, Corporate Espionage, Post-Divorce, Father-Son Relationship, Reconciliation, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ Needs A Hug, LSZ is a good boy, recovery from abuse, Therapy, Abusive Relationships, LWJ pov)

FOUND! Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) The lines listed from 2B remind me very much of Spodumene's "Tempo Rubato," but it was WWX saying it to LWJ and talking about JC trying to warn LWJ away from WWX after a long separation. Here's the fic; the lines are near the end, in ch. 16.

~*~

3. I read this ff one time from sizhui pov. it’s essentially about lwj in mourning clothes during wwx death . he’s commenting on the color of the robes being white and how there’s no blue. I have never been able to find it again. it;s short, maybe one or two chapters.

I do remember a scene where sizhui asks Lxc about the robes and xichen responds “he used to wear blue, sizhui, like me” — may not be the exact quote but something similar.

Thanks yall! @chenqingmagic

FOUND? In all these shades of blue (I think we found you) by Fleetling (T, 5k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, LSZ & LJY, LXC & LWJ, LXC & LSZ, 5+1 Things, LSZ pov, kinda sad at times bc wwx is dead for most of it, LSZ's childhood, LSZ growing up, LSZ isn't stupid he worked out who his father lost long before wwx came back, LJY is a Good Friend, LXC is a good uncle ok, the juniors get wangxian together at the end, minor injuries and blood but better than canon, a reflection on LWJ's clothing from the pov of LSZ)

FOUND? Revolution by mrcformoso (T, 8k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, LSZ/LJY, Light Angst, Happy Ending, POV LSZ, Found Family, Toxic Elders, Fatherhood, Growing Up, The Lan Juniors, LSZ's parents suffered, And so he starts a revolution, Bringing about change, LWJ Adopts LSZ; WWX is LSZ's Parent, LSZ is a polite menace, Hanguang-jun raised an army of Lan rebels, and we're here for it, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, only the ending because we all hate the untamed edning, Good Uncle WN)

~*~

4. Hi so i was looking for a wangxian fic it was a non modern mpreg fic where wwx got pregnant and had to visit some physical whom he became like friends with and lwj and lqr were there too, I honestly don't think it was omegaverse. Sorry this is all i remember but i do remember one rough line from the fic which was a convo b/w lwj, wwx and the physician the physician was asking lwj and wwx about their sex life and how often they do it so lwj responded with everyday and then the physician asked if he pulls out or smth but lwj said no i hope u can find it :> (sorry for lack of details) @monochromo

FOUND? 🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)

FOUND? 举头望明月 - Looking up at the bright moonby Lanwangjisnights (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Alpha LWJ, Omega/Alpha WWX, Fox WWX, Explicit Sex, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Mpreg, Dual Cultivation) could be fic 3. It sounds like a conversation LWJ has with Baoshan Sanren about WWX's core pregnancy.

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5. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic where it's a modern au and wei wuxian gets ill when fierce corpses start spreading (almost like an apocalypse) and he gets accused of it. He ends up doing a video call (I think) with other sect leaders to explain how demonic cultivation works so they can stop the apocalypse. I know that lan wangji takes care of wei wuxian while he's sick if that helps. Thank you !!

FOUND? When the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation takes a week off by galaxy_in_your_eyes (T, 20k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, only those that deserve it, kind of fix-it, Zombie Apocalypse AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, POV Alternating, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Brief Mentions of Cannibalism, Zombies, We don't see the Zombie Apocalypse, It happens behind closed doors, WWX in quarantine, Wangxian being Wangxian, Mentions of Smut, Established Relationship, Courtesy Names, So many names, local necromancer gets sick with the flu)

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6. So I’m trying to find this fix where the wens we’re going to sacrifice themselves and Wen Qing throws her needles at Wèi wuxian but he like stops them somehow and is angry(?) and he creates like a impenetrable(?) barrier and keeps the there. @candyyii

FOUND? To Mourn the Young Man by Iamnotawriter (T, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, BAMF WWX, Most people live, but not the bad guys, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal) the first chapter has WWX creating a barrier with resentful energy to prevent the needles from knocking him out, but not keeping everyone in the Burial Mounds so idk if this is it

FOUND? 🔒 Living in a nightmare by istgidek1234 (T, 68k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & WQ, Sect Leader WWX, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, NMJ Lives, Angst, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Panic Attacks, the main clans need WWX's help, and he's too nice for his own good, JZX still dies, Miscommunication, Slow Burn, Nightmares, MXY Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Hug, yunmeng siblings reconciliation, Golden Core Reveal, Torture, but only a teeny non-descriptive bit)

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7. Fic Finder ask here, I’m looking for a fic set in the cloud recesses study arc era, it’s cannon divergent and WWX & LWJ get together during cloud recesses, I think they’re engaged as well. This fic is also a long fic. The only concrete scene I can place to this fic was WWX & LWJ having horny teen semi clothed sex in the woods where WWX is on LWJ’s lap and they’re found by NHS who clearly thinks he just walked in on them kissing and thought it was fine for them to be doing that, he just felt awkward walking in on them doing it. (So this is another point into the maybe they’re married of fiancés @ that moment in the story) I can’t remember the name of the fic, and it’s haunting me.

Hello, I’m the asker for #7 of the most recent fic finder. Unfortunately I’m pretty certain that Starving Stunted Juvenility is not the fic I’m looking for. I’m re-reading it rn but I remember I was actually very into the cloud recesses divergent aus because of SSJ, and I had definitely been reading one of those for this ask.

NOT FOUND 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 803k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) what immediately comes to mind for long, CRA get together, canon divergence is this. Can't remember if the scene you remember is in here or not but this is a massive fic so maybe??

~*~

8. I’m looking for a yiling wei sect au that had wen cheng’s girlfriend as a double agent helping to end the war, and she ended up with wen Qing. @sentient-halloween-candy

FOUND? ❤️ Restoration by ritualist (M, 84k, WangXian, Fairy Tale Elements, Non-Linear Narrative, Time Skips, Time Shenanigans, YL WWX, Sentient Burial Mounds, Sunshot Campaign, Politics, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, JGS Is His Own Content Warning, Necromancy, Surgery, Identity Issues, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Love at First Sight, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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9. Hi, does anyone remember seeing a fic where lwj shows up on wwx's doorstep out of the blue. They hadn't seen each other in a while & lwj escaped from somewhere, like he was being kept in a lab maybe for experimenting & went straight to wwx for help. I think it might have been b/c he was pregnant, maybe it was an a/b/o fic?

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10. I'm looking for a particular fic- I think an arranged marriage/immortal Wei Wuxian au, wherein he saved Luo Qingyang, Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji from the Xuanwu cave, then returned them to the clans a while later and asked for/orchestrated Lan Wangji's hand in marriage? Thank you @kedaliya

FOUND? inevitable everything by isabilightwood (E, 193k, WangXian, MM/WQ, JYL/JZX, BSSR/LY, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, but WWX is BSSR's disciple/adoptive grandson too, the cultivation sects think this is a, War Prize AU, it's actually self-arranged marriage, Arranged Marriage, yin iron shenanigans, LWJ Has Friends, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, LWJ Has a Yiling Laozu Kink, Switch WangXian, BDSM, Submissive LWJ, Dominant WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, magical illness of a side character (who will get better), Rope Bondage, Impact Play, Rimming, Bottom LWJ, Temperature Play, Face-Fucking, Breathplay, (talisman-based breathplay to be specific), Cock Warming, Public Scene, no one gets naked in public this is the sense of wwx invents the, Remote Controlled Vibrator, Semi-Public Sex, Outdoor Sex, Blindfolds, one qingmian smut scene with oral and fingering, Minor Character Death, All Sex Scenes Are Skippable!)

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11. Hello! Im trying to find a fix it fic where wei ying dresses as a lady and ends up faking his death with the help of jiang yanli and jiang cheng. A significant moment i remember is that jin guangshan tries to come onto him before jin zixuan intervenes. If you could help me find it, id be very grateful!

FOUND? Wei Wuxian, Who’s That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels)

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12. Hi! For Fic Finder: I am looking for a canon-era fic where Wei Wuxian was some kind of god or divine being and the thing I remember is that he had to bond with a demon/beast-man to balance his divinity(?). Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan came to him as an example of one such duo: Song Lan was the demon half and he explained that the demons make a contract with the god to protect the god in life and then the demon gets to eat the god’s body after death. The thought of getting eaten scared WWX. I am pretty sure this fic took place during the Sunshot Campaign because WWX was fighting through some war and he was unbalanced because he hadn’t found his other half. I could also have this flip flopped and maybe LWJ was the divine one and WWX was the demon half? If anyone remembers this fic I would love to find it again! Thank you!

Hi again, I just sent in a fic finder ask about a divine WWX having to bond with a demon? I think I might have gotten two fics confused: a war fic and a religion fic. WWX might have been taken to a monastery and raised there as a mythic figure that the other sects come on pilgrimage to worship, and he is raised being told he has to bond with a dark spirit? Sorry for the mix up, but could you please add this to my previous ask? If the fics are one and the same, great! If they are two separate, does anyone recognize them? Thanks again! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND? So You Accidentally Kidnapped A Qilin by Mikkeneko (T, 83k, WangXian, Juuni Kokki | Twelve Kingdoms Fusion, mdm yu’s a+ parenting, Identity Issues, Cultivator Politics, Yin Iron Poisoning, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, WWX Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Getting Together, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending, Pacifist WWX, MXTX Big Bang 2021)

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13. Hi, I once read this amazing mdzs fic on ao3 in which whole lan clan wasn't human, they were some kind of aliens I think, it was a secret. I would love to read it again but I can't find it @iknowitsgonnabelonely

FOUND? hollow voices ringing in your ears by LunaChi_KuroShihone (G, 5k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, Sad LWJ, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Supportive LWJ, Good Kid LSZ, Cute LSZ, Body Horror-Ish, the lans are tentacle monster things, Eldritch LWJ, Eldritch Lans, Family Feels, a bit of Horror, Family Secrets, YLLZ WWX, Cuddling & Snuggling, Soft WangXian)

FOUND? Wherever the Chaos is and Righteousness by syriala (G, 2k, WangXian, Eldritch LWJ, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Secrets, Fluff)

FOUND? Lost and Found by diamondbruise (E, 52k, WangXian, Modern AU, Aliens, Slow Burn, Alien LWJ, Crack Treated Seriously, Soulmates, Kid Fic…..kind of, i use that tag very loosely, Masturbation, Rough Sex, canon typical cnc elements, Happy Ending)

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14. looking for a fic where wangxian are already in an arranged marriage thats set in modern day. wei ying had a huge crush on lan zhan but on the wedding gay he thinks he hears lan zhan confess his feelings for someone else. this causes him to be unable to relax during sex

FOUND? A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, Sex is complicated, Angst, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions)

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15. Hi, thank you for all you do! I’m looking for a fic where WWX is feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders - I think he went back in time and was trying to fix things by himself - and the jiangs weren’t great but then WWX has a breakdown in the courtyard and was like, I’m so tired, I can’t do this anymore, and even madame yu softens at that when they realize the burdens he was carrying and he starts to get support going forward. @vi-sky

I’m 15 and while (Un)Hidden Truth is great it’s not what I’m looking for. I don’t think the attempt at suicide is in the one I’m looking for, and it also happens midway into the story not in the first couple chapters, but thank you!

I’m number 17 and none of the new suggestions are it, though Wish Me Luck is much closer in vibes to what I was looking for

NOT FOUND 🧡 (Un)Hidden truth by Sarah_R (M, 207k, WIP, WangXian, characters watching their show, characters watching the future, Time Travel Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Self-Harm, fluff, Angst, LWJ best husband, WWX needs all the love and hugs in the world, and he gets it, WWX Protection Squad, The juniors are literally the light of the show, WQ best sister, YZY & JFM will realize what an absolute shit they’ve been, Character Development, Sentient Burial Mounds, Everyone Lives AU, Except the people who deserve to)

NOT FOUND 🔒❤️ the thing with feathers by RoseThorne (G, 43k,wangxian, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Fear, Recovery, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Sexual Tension, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect)

NOT FOUND Wish me luck by starlight1395 (Not Rated, 164k, WangXian, Fix It, Time Travel, Angst, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Nightmares, Slight fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of tears, canon levels of blood/violence, Minor Character Death, secondary character death, Sibling Bonding, JC curses alot, battle scenes with appropriate levels of violence and blood, semi mild smut, it's emotional and soft smut tho so it's okay, mild Self-harm)

NOT FOUND Time is but a Construct by Skyla15699 (M, 163k, WangXian, LXC/JC, NMJ/JGY, JYL/JZX, YZY/JFM, JC & WWX, NHS & JGY, JGY & WWX, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Redemption, Everyone Needs A Hug, Including the Jiang Family, JGY is Not Evil, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, JC Needs a Hug, Morally Gray JGY, Supportive NMJ, Self-Indulgent, JC friendly, WangXian both time travel)

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16. hello there, i'm trying to find a fic where wwx and sizhui were both kidnapped together but lwj found them through tailsmans (i think) then wwx tells lwj that those bad people touched him and lwj gets mad (or possessive ig) thank you!

FOUND? Do not take that which does not belong to you by Selene210 (E, 7k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, dark LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Canon Divergence, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Kidnapping, Murder, Blood and Violence, WangXian married and have a son, Explicit Sexual Content, Biting, Marathon Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Bath Sex, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, WWX has an angry LWJ kink, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Wangxian canon breeding kink, LWJ's canon massive dick)

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17. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic I read where in the present day Lan Huan & Lan Zhan are at a cultivation conference. They're walking back to their hotel when ancient fantasy China Wei Ying falls out of nothing and lands on the pavement right in front of them. It turns out, Wei Ying fell off the cliff at Nightless City but instead of dying, he somehow ended up 600 years into the present. I remember that the Lan brothers immediately help him - he's fascinated & freaked out by modern life at first (both the hotel elevator & modern plumbing in particular). Um, a lot of cultivation history has been lost over time & i think WY helps with that. I also remember it turns out that Lan Zhan is the reincarnation of original LZ. I think that several other characters were reincarnated also & Mo Xuanyu is another person who somehow time-traveled to the present. I know it ended up Wangxian. I think there's a sequel where they eventually adopt A-Yuan & a little girl who is Yanli reincarnated. Please help! I can't remember the fic name & all my keyword searching hasn't worked out.

Thanks very much! @emrinalex

FOUND! 忘不了你的爱 (can’t forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending)

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18. Hi! i have been trying to look for a fic that I forgot for quite a while. The thing is, i am not sure if it is a threadfic OR an ao3 fic. The only thing that I could remember was wwx and lwj was travelling together, possibly on a honeymoon after their wedding; arrange marriage. or they could just be going on a night hunt ToT the biggest premise of this was that lwj was undeniable attracted to wwx and took a peek of him while bathing and wwx was so smug because he knew he would look. @freshmilk-00

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19. Okay so there's a fic I read when I first got into MDZS about two years ago and the memory of it suddenly hit me like a truck and I /need/ to reread but I cannot, for the life of me, find it. I've gone through what feels like 100 pages of my history on a03 without luck so here I am. Okay, as far I can remember, It was still a WIP when I read it roughly two years ago, but that was two years ago so I could be wrong. Anyway, it was a time travel fic but /not/ because of canon events.

However, it was canon complacent. Basically, sometime after the end of the series, there was some really bad demonic (?) event that killed most of the world, including LWJ. WWX hadn't reached immortality but he had reached the next level of cultivation, and therefore now had a perfect memory. I know there was one scene where he realized he'd hit that breakthrough (and I think broke down?) because he was recreating the ancestral plates of the Lan and realized he knows every name even if he shouldn't.

Anyway, in this future, the remaining cultivators are able to link together to sort of super boost their cultivation? (Idk if that's the best description) and tie it to both Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, who send their consciousnesses back in time to... I think it's when they were at the Gusu lectures. (I do not remember if this was novel or cql verse).

They gather the world (Minus Wen Ruohan and his people) to tell the story of the future but using titles people wouldn't yet have (like Yiling Patriarch. Ghost General. Headshaker. Lianfang-zun as examples) to tell the story without giving away identities (Though Wen Ning does introduce himself as the Ghost General at some point during that, giving away that identity). There's also truth talisman they wear while telling the story to prove its all true. Anyway I know this is long but I figured the more details I remembered, the better. Even if it is still WIP I just wanna reread what's there so badly.

FOUND! If You Forget Me by DivideTheSorrow (Not Rated, 189k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, YZY/JFM, WIP, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, Relationship(s), Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, Original Character(s), Angst)

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20. hellooo! hope you all are having a good day<33 I'm looking for a fic where wwx is cursed to not see people unless he believes they love them (?) I remember that the juniors were there and so was lwg and jc. thank you <33 @val-ley

FOUND! See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, WangXian, POV WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX’s Abyssmal Self-Esteem, Emotional Healing, Angst, The Juniors love their Senior Wei, Curses, WWX is an Unreliable Narrator, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

126 notes · View notes

zzoomacroom · 28 days

Note

Retired amnesia Dream + coma Hob for WIP ask game please 🥺🥺🥺

Thank you for the ask! @linzod asked about this one too, and I'm super excited about it! I only have it outlined so far, but I'm hoping to write it once I'm done with the mpreg fic.

So Murphy is just some guy, as far as he knows. He's an artist, and he's kind of a shut-in with no friends and no life to speak of. He starts having really vivid dreams that, unbeknownst to him, are showing him memories of his past life. He also keeps having these recurring dreams where he meets with this guy named Hob who seems really familiar and keeps telling Murphy that he's real, he's been looking for him, he's trapped in the Dreaming and he needs Murphy to find him in the waking world. Murphy doesn't believe any of it, thinks his unconscious mind made the whole thing up, and he's like, "great, I'm so lonely that my sleeping mind made me an imaginary friend." But then he keeps finding clues suggesting that Hob is telling the truth. He goes to the White Horse and, even though it's abandoned and boarded up, he recognizes it from his dreams. He also maybe finds mentions of Hob in historical texts, the drawing of them from the 1789 meeting, etc. So now he understands that it's all true, and he has to find Hob and hopefully regain his memories in the process.

Now I'm going to put what's happening from Hob's perspective under the cut, because it's a plot twist that would be revealed later in the story.

So how did they end up in this situation? Well, after the Wake, Hob became more unhinged than ever and couldn't accept that Dream was dead. So he planned to do a whole "Dream of a Thousand Cats" style thing and have a thousand people dream that Morpheus is alive again. But in order to organize and orchestrate this whole plan, Hob puts himself into a magically induced coma so he can stay in the Dreaming and make sure the plan works. But once it does, he finds himself stuck there. The mysterious and sketchy person he hired to put him into this coma has disappeared, and now he's trapped with no way to wake up. Morpheus keeps finding him when he dreams, so Hob is overjoyed about that but heartbroken that Morpheus doesn't remember him and doesn't believe any of his dreams are real. Eventually, Morpheus finds Hob in the waking world, wakes him up, gets his memories back, and they live happily ever after.

I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that this fic will also feature Death, Delirium, Daniel, Lucienne, Matthew, Johanna Constantine and Mad Hettie.

Hopefully I'll actually be able to get it written before too long 😭

#ask game #wip title game #the sandman #dreamling #dreamling fic #sort of #retired dream #zoom writes #zoom says stuff

97 notes · View notes

zangtang · 6 months

Text

Everything can change at any point!

Create images here: https://www.bing.com/images/create?FORM=GENILP before i say anything else though: not following someone else's prompts means you'll likely find some wild and unexpected things yourself. If you follow my prompts like they're laws, you will only ever get results like mine. There are people doing much cooler, weirder things. Don't get restricted by this.

the site was VERY BROKEN for the last 6 days, you haven't been banned. You get 15 boosts a day which usually override any current downtime, but the popup thinks you get 25 a week, which is an indicator of how busted and poorly planned they were for this flood of users. It's not too hard to create illegal results, and there's millions of users, so it's very unlikely a human is ever looking at your results. Unless you're doing really spectacularly terrible things, of course. If you get the warning as soon as you enter your prompt, change the most controversial aspects of your prompt immediately, as repeats of this will get you suspended for increasingly long times. It is possible to make alt accounts with throwaway emails though. It's unconfirmed but it appears that US residents get priority access during US times, and UK residents can only reliably make things from 7am to 1pm for example. Weekend access is a crapshoot. I don't personally pay for ChatGPT so I can't say anything about the alleged priority access you get there, but even that can be slow and restricted during the worst times (I assume this will the their priority to fix though). There are many conflicting reports about whether it's more censored or not. Reports is a very fancy way of saying reddit comments.

Everything I superstitiously guess about prompts:

you can be very descriptive and write in natural english, or you can be very brief. both methods work, I suspect both versions do different things. repetition and restating the same thing in other ways also seems to emphasise (possibly.) Prompts can be quite chaotic and contradictory - you can describe a lot of things happening and it may surprise you, so have fun with weirdness! some words are "heavy" against the automated filters, and can be safe in one prompt and unsafe in another. think of it like buckaroo, the AI is trying to find meaning in your prompt and it will sometimes combine things and get mad about it. be aware of politics and words that may be used in erotic senses, and switch those up.

this is the format I use the most because i am super lazy and unimaginative. items in [ ] are optional and can be anything, and I don't know how the word order matters - in old Midjourney it mattered quite a bit according to guides, but now they're all pushing to parse natural english I'm not so sure:

[number of] [body type] [age] [nationality] [male noun or job] wearing [clothes], with a [size, shape] belly, [hair description], [pose], [location, time of day, weather, lighting, era], [facial expression or attitude], [actions]

The number of guys can be vague like "several." Also placing a number here will generally result in all men being fat. To add a second, very different person (even women! imagine the power), simply describe that in plain english later in the prompt. Try adding "with friends" or something and seeing what happens.

Mentioning body type is separate from mentioning that he has a large stomach because "fat man" alone doesn't make him very fat. also, the body type prompt will dictate his physical build underneath the belly - this allows you to make mpreg very easily, for example. Mentioning his belly separately also seems to be a key part in making clothes not cover it up. However, DallE has clearly gotten much better at this for some clothes, but not all of them. Formalwear is improving, though tactical vests no longer do the cute thing they used to do, and football shirts still ride up reliably. Nationality can be weird, and you can use it to exploit stereotypes, or it can be an eye-opening view of stereotypes from countries you barely know about - want to know what differentiates an Angolan man from a Kenyan man? Probably don't trust AI results! I suspect some countries are controversial due to current politics, and I suspect some are controversial due to fetishy stereotyping. However, if for example "English man" got censored, consider going for capital cities or famous regions, eg "London man." Maybe look up sports teams from that country. I'm a big fan of the "Italian-American" prompt but lately it's gotten quite a few results blocked, so I'd switch to "New Jersey," maybe even "New Jersey Italian."

"Handsome" may slim your results down, or even break the prompt entirely. Consider making your men footballers or rugby players, mention trendy haircuts, or using out of date synonyms to get round it. AI isn't all that likely to give you especially ugly results anyway, particularly if you specify ages under 40. It doesn't get the hair precisely right, but even a generic prompt like "short thick hair" can help. Giving your character a job may dictate what he'll wear, but you might want to specify what clothes you want anyway. Don't mention either if you hope he'll turn out naked. Certain jobs are tricky to use, as AI strains to be as unpolitical as possible - it doesn't want you doing politicians and it sometimes seems to refuse anything that might make the police or military look bad. However, it will accept "wearing a [colour] uniform/pilot shirt" very happily, because it's duuuuumb.

Mention trousers, footwear or even just feet if your results keep zooming in too much. (It'll also zoom in if you mention too much about his face, I think.) Side view appears to make certain prompts fatter, but will often mean he's looking away - you can add "Looking at camera" if you want that. Metallic and plastic clothes can have very fun and weird results, especially if you change the location to a night setting in the rain. Gladiator costumes will reduce his clothes to a few leather straps.

"Flex pose" and "strong pose" will get butch bodybuilder poses (it will also buff up the muscle mass) and "battling strong winds" gets very superhero poses. At least when I was trying these out, I found I couldn't actually get proper bodybuilder poses or mention of superheroes past the censor, but it's been a few weeks so who knows what it's up to now. Give them all a go!

Casual poses and actions can liven things up a little if you just want portraits but don't want it to repeatedly be the same thing facing you directly. Getting out of a car, climbing stairs, leaning against things, adjusting his clothes or putting on a coat, all these kinds of things work. Smoking or drinking does quite a lot. "Tired" or "Exhausted" changes his attitude a lot too, your leans get leaned into more.

Contact words can be a little difficult, so consider ways to exploit using soft contact, or be very wordy and detailed about it so it's not misinterpreting you. "Patting him on the back" is a fairly safe phrase, but DallE isn't intelligent, so it will allow the contact but it will struggle to be precise, especially when the bodies are fat or not positioned in a way they can reach the back - the result of this is that there will be a lot of belly pats. Prodding in the stomach, pointing at the stomach, these both work, but I think DallE is vague about stomach=torso and you may want "pointing at his belt" to give a lower focus. Admiring can direct attention and vibes, whispering will draw their heads closer and make them interact somewhat. Embracing and hugging work but is very heavy for the censor, "hugging on his shoulder/belly" seems safer for some reason. Shaking, grabbing, "examining/concerned about his belly" can work. Bizarrely, squeezing past another man in a narrow corridor/doorway/cupboard works if you want a LOT of contact. And if you want unpredictable contact, fighting can work.

For more dynamic safe contact, try sporting actions. Baseball slides, football tackles, that kind of thing. It's hard to get them to lie flat and the AI seems to resist allowing heads to touch the ground, but "lying in a hammock" works pretty well, and sometimes specifying what the head is touching works. pretty much every minor prompt variation and scenario I've ever used:

"falling onto a broken chair/breaking an object with his weight" "washing windows" "with waiters helping him up" "with friends bringing him food" "falling over another man" "outside of a skyscraper washing windows, harness for safety, hoisted" "hyper-obese man wearing denim dungarees with an enormous inflated belly, drinking from a hose" ("blowing into a hose" gets better expressions for that IMO) "stuck in a broken narrow red british phonebooth with another man, bursting out with his enormous belly, black trousers" "bent over eating at a pie eating contest wearing a dirty white tank top with an enormous round belly and his face hidden buried in messy pie" "sitting on a throne next to a very fat 35 year old spanish monarch" "lying on his back the floor, enjoying a banquet, side view, tired expression" "very fat 35 year old handsome british man wearing tracksuit and gold chain with a hugely distended beerbelly, man with a massive round stomach, washing his car in a carpark at night side view" "at water park, stuck in a water slide" "before and after weightloss picture, in the left he is X and in the right he is Y" "with a large round belly spilled over eating at a banquet with an enormous round belly, bronzed, with waiters helping him up/being prodded with a fork" "washing dishes and leaning over his belly on a freestanding enamel pedestal basin" "climbing and leaning against a stepladder to change a lightbulb on the ceiling [with friend holding the stepladder steady]" "side view, photo of two 40 year old beefy handsome fat italian-american rugby player with a hugely distended round belly, resting hand on his chest, wearing a tracksuit with a gigantic round sagging stomach, gold chain, raining, whispering in a car park at night, leaning/hugging on shoulder, tired, stern expression looking at camera, smoking a cigarette" "side view photo of two strong 40 year old handsome samoan rugby player with a hugely distended round beerbelly, chest hair, wearing a white formal shirt and black suit, hugging on his belly, proud expectant father, boyfriends outside a busy pub at night, stern, looking at camera, raining" "two fat los angeles rams handsome footballers wearing white pilot shirt and plain tie and black trousers pushing through a narrow saloon door with their enormously distended beerbellies, stern" "photo of very fat 30 year old hunk rugby player with enormously distended belly, carrying his belly in a wheelbarrow" "very fat 35 year old man wearing white pilot shirt with an enormous round belly, tough man with a very large beerbelly, too fat for small broken airplane seat sitting on another man, fat belly spilling over armrest and pressing against over man, black trousers, slightly concerned, suave" "being carried on the back of a flatbed truck" can turn them into horrific lardvalanches but you don't get much control over it

original characters do not steal prompts: "30 year old man who looks like he's the main character from the game Uncharted with an enormous distended round beerbelly, with one hand on a bar in a pub, nathan" This is sometimes surprisingly effective, but most often it'll simply draw vibes from the IP mentioned, so you can use it to get specific settings at least

Try spelling the names wrong or reversing the name order - sometimes it'll even accept names sprinkled throughout the prompt. Repeating the name may increase its effect (it might also not!) Also it's speculated that placing the celebrity fraud in a place or situation they would normally be found in helps. That said, I could only get a Robert Downey Jr if I made him dress as a gladiator. So maybe weirdness and ingenuity are your strengths. see also https://www.tumblr.com/baron-bear/731903035856584704/what-do-you-use-for-your-ai-stuff

#fat ai #fat ai man

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maharlika · 4 months

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spouse

a little arranged marriage halstarion ficlet for some folks over on the halstarion discord! tw for implied abuse, blood mention and miscarriage in this one. there's also mpreg.

—

Astarion tumbled off his husband with a satisfied sigh, sinking into the plush nest of feathers and fur, legs askew and thighs still trembling from exertion.

He watched, eyes half-lidded, as Halsin rose from the bed, then returned with a soft cloth and a wooden cup full of cold water, the latter of which he placed on the floor next to their bed.

“Do you think it will take?” Astarion asked, as Halsin gently cleaned him. Always so gentle, Astarion’s bear of a husband. Mate, Halsin called him, though Astarion did not quite believe it. Would not quite believe it until the child was seeded in his womb, rooted deep enough to cast aside any doubts of his place by Halsin’s side.

“It may or it may not,” Halsin said, seemingly indifferent to the possibility of siring a child. It had been baffling to Astarion the first time they’d consummated their union—it was baffling to him still, months into this endeavor.

Astarion swallowed down his worries with a nod, and told himself this was enough for now: to be wed to a man who had not once struck him, who had never raised his voice at him, and who did not seem to consider him a mere broodmare, as his father had raised him to be.

Still, fear lingered in his chest. If he could not bear Halsin a child, then he would be cast aside. Cazador would punish him for that, he was certain. But beyond that—losing Halsin would be a new sort of pain, one he had not anticipated, and one for which he had no one to blame but himself.

After all, it was his fault he had fallen in love.

—

Three months later, Astarion woke up to blood.

As his head spun with terror, Astarion could only think of one thing: not Cazador’s ire, not the breaching of the marriage contract, not even the horror of returning to the cold, bitter palace he had been raised in.

No—as Astarion limped to the healer’s, blood trickling down his thighs, he could only think: Halsin will hate me for losing his child.

—

Astarion sat quietly as the healer spoke to his husband. He wondered if he could still call Halsin that at all, given how much of a failure he had been as his spouse.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, as Halsin approached his bedside. His hands were twisted together in deep anxiety on his lap, and he looked down at them as he continued, “I—I have no excuse. I’m sorry.”

“Astarion,” Halsin murmured. He placed one large hand on top of both of Astarion’s. “Why are you apologizing, my heart?”

“Why are you still calling me that?” Astarion asked, his head jerking up in surprise. He met Halsin’s confused and sorrowful gaze, and tears spilled down his cheeks as he blinked. His mouth trembled, and a sob burst from his chest before he could stop it. “I heard what the healer said—that I might not—that I might never—”

“It matters not,” Halsin said swiftly. “You are my heart, child or no, Astarion.”

“You can’t mean that!” Astarion cried, eyes squeezing tight. “I am useless to you now!”

Halsin’s hand stiffened atop his, and despite the silence, Astarion could feel his shock. Astarion had never raised his voice at him before, had never been anything but a charming, pliant vessel.

He shuddered in fear and misery. Apologies would not save him now, he knew.

“Astarion, please look at me,” Halsin said. When Astarion did not obey, Halsin continued, “I am not so cruel to cast you aside for something so—so utterly beyond your control. When we were wed, I promised to care for you. I mean to keep my promise. There is nothing you could do that would make me stop.”

“I—but I—what am I for? If not to bear your young, to serve your House with my body—I don’t understand.”

“Is that what you think you're for? When I find the person who has put these awful thoughts into your head, I will tear them apart myself,” Halsin said, in a menacing tone that Astarion had never heard before.

He shivered, not entirely displeased to hear it.

“Oh,” he whispered. “You truly…you truly mean to keep me?”

Halsin lifted Astarion’s limp hands to his lips and kissed his fingers, one by one.

“Yes,” he said. "For as long as you would like to be kept."

Astarion nodded, his mind still reeling. This changed everything—and somehow, it changed nothing at all. Halsin still cared for him. Halsin still would not harm him. Halsin still did not care whether Astarion bore him a child or not.

“Rest,” Halsin murmured, as Astarion listed sideways and crumpled against him, overwhelmed with relief. “I will be here when you wake. I will always be here, my heart.”

#halstarion #halsin #astarion #bg3 #rai writes

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covetyou · 6 hours

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seeded

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Dieter Bravo & gn!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: no explicit smut but references to the following - tentacles, monster/alien fucking, cum inflation, mpreg, masturbation. also, pregnancy anxiety. word count: 979 summary: Dieter Bravo believes in aliens. Do you?

A/N: happy slightly early birthday to the gorgeous @sp00kymulderr for tomorrow - adore you 💛. in honour of you there is also a slight mention of just a touch because that lives rent free in my head.

for the @dieterbravobrainrotclub May drabble challenge - I make my own rules so I didn't include meet-cute (I accidentally wrote this, so I can't be blamed for excluding it) quote: "Do you believe in aliens?" trope: meet-cute follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future fics

"Do you believe in aliens?"

It wasn't the first time he'd asked you this question. It probably wouldn't be the last either, knowing him, and so you answer in the same way you did that very first time so long ago.

"Yes, Dee," you say, looking at him over your laptop screen, the ghost of his rammed summer calendar still burned into your retinas as he comes into focus. Due on a new set in a few weeks, and with his filming schedule just through this morning, you'd spent the last few hours scrambling to put his life together while yours chaotically whirls out of control, ignored, in the background.

Dieter, oblivious as ever to the state of your life, has shuffled into your direct line of sight with coffee cup in hand, robe open and soft belly on display.

"Right..." he starts, before drifting off to look down at his hands as a concerned look takes over his face.

"You have that dream again?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. It's a dream he has every few months, seems like he has for most of his life. You're about as familiar with it as he is by now. Dieter Bravo will dream of some kind of elaborate alien abduction, usually involving him being dragged up by a beam of light into some extraterrestrial spacecraft. Most often it's pretty benign - occasionally he'd be abducted and never seen again, once or twice it's been pretty gruesome, sometimes he even wakes up having thoroughly enjoyed himself. You can't quite work out what has happened this time though, as his face flicks between concerned and softly dazed.

"No," he says quickly.

"You're a shit liar, Dee."

Closing your laptop - you need the break anyway - you look at him, properly, and see his hand has moved from itching his stomach, to gently caressing it.

Oh no. No. Not this again.

"Dieter."

"Do you think I could be-"

"No, Dieter," you start, standing to approach him like you're approaching a skittish deer. "I don't think you're pregnant." - it sounds stupid to even say it out loud - "I believe in aliens, I do not believe you've been abducted, or probed, or inseminated. I think you had a very nice, or very horrible, dream and now you've woken up confused. Drink your coffee."

Dieter dutifully takes a slurp from the mug in his hand, nodding to you like he's holding onto your every word. Because sometimes, he does. Sometimes you rule Dieter Bravo's world, and he gladly lets you. Take that, alien overlords.

Another deep breath and Dieter's shoulders relax, falling from the tense position he'd held them in. He'd quite liked the idea of being impregnated by an otherworldly lifeform when you first met him. You'd been working for him for a few weeks and, perhaps regrettably, still hadn't established the boundaries you have now. After one of his more sedate parties, you sat with him giggling on his patio. Soon you were both agreeing that the deep sea was much more terrifying than deep space, and a three, two, one later you'd simultaneously exclaimed your belief in aliens. Dieter, naturally, took it one step further, and once you'd got onto the topic of tentacles you knew you were done for, even then. You learnt a lot about what Dieter Bravo would do given the chance to fuck an alien that night, and none of it sounded remotely romantic or sanitary. It barely sounded safe. You're not sure a human could even physically contain the amount of fluid he was talking about. Still, amongst the thoughts of all that mess you definitely stopped breathing at some point, and when he finally got up with a slap to his bare thighs you'd all but scurried home just to make yourself come to the thoughts he planted in your head. It was safe to say Dieter Bravo liked aliens.

"But what if I was," his hand comes to his stomach again, resting below his belly button as his eyes go wide. "I don't know what I'd do."

The worry on his face is almost funny. Almost, because you're the one who has to deal with it, and that makes it not very funny at all. For a moment, you have to humor him, tell him what he wants to hear so he calms down and leaves you alone, and that feels sillier than anything. Which is saying something. You've chased this man through the house, high out of his mind two minutes before a video interview, wearing nothing but a sock on his dick.

"You'd be fine, Dee. You have plenty of space for alien babies in this place. We could get a nanny too, and you can more than afford to take a little time off work. It'd be okay."

"You promise? You'd help?"

"Promise. I'll help look after your alien babies, Dee."

"Okay, cool, because I am not ready to be a mom."

He shuffles off again before you can say anything else, his shaggy head disappearing around a corner just before you hear him flop down on the couch in the other room. You don't need to see him to know exactly what he's doing right now. It's the same thing he does whenever he flops onto that couch. He'll put his coffee down and then scratch his balls a little before simply resting his hand there. Sometimes it devolves into something a little more handsy - the man can tease himself for hours - but sometimes he's comforted just holding his own balls for a little while. The issue always is, you never know which way it's going to go, so before he gets too distracted, you shout through to him from your little corner of his house.

"Hey, Dee?"

"Yeah?"

"Want me to get you a pregnancy test?"

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x gn!reader #dieter bravo fanfiction #the bubble fanfiction #coveted fics #dieter bravo brainrot club

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usernameforaboredcat · 7 months

Text

Pay Back, Pretty Boy (Law X F!Reader) SMUT

Law has always put his girlfriend through hell when it comes to their sex life, he is evil. The edging, overstimulation, the orgasm denial, cock warming. It was pay back time, and using a Devil Fruit against him was the perfect way how.

Warning ⚠️: improper use of devil fruit powers (F!Law & M!Reader), SPOILERS for later arcs, bisexual reader, talk about pregnancy (mpreg?), mention of belly bulge.

I would ask myself “how the fuck did I get myself into this mess” but I know exactly how. Motherfucking Blackbeard was the cause of it, turning myself, crew mates and captain into women. Oh wait, I am a woman! That’s right! I was turned into a fucking man! To be fair it wasn’t all that bad, finally being taller than everyone and…not gonna lie…I look really good for a dude. And…man Law was fucking FINE as a woman like damn! I could tell that Law hated himself like this, but personally I love it. His usual scary angry face was now a cute pout, his irritated glare was a flustered blush. Man was he fucking perfect.

I yawn as I walk into my shared room with the Captain, seeing him looking at himself in my vanity mirror. “Hey gorgeous, what’re you looking at?”. I ask him as I walk over and swinging an arm over his shoulder, still not used to my deep voice. “Don’t call me that”. He tells me, but in a cute womanly voice. “Aw but you are! You where always so handsome, now you’re stunning”. I tell him, nuzzling my nose again his cheek as I look at us in the mirror. “The most beautiful woman in the sea, Boa Hancock could never”. I hum, kissing his cheek.

His face turns a light pink color, trying to hide behind his hat. “God you’re fuckin cute~”. I coo into his ear, biting his earlobe and gripping his now thin waist. A tiny moan escapes his lips, I smirk at this. “You know~ “. “No”. He shuts down immediately. “Oh come on baby, I’d love to show you how you treat me”. I chuckle. “Absolutely not”. He shuts down again. “What’s wrong? Coward? Can’t handle it? Afraid to feel exactly what it feels like?”. I question.

His face reddens, turning his head away. I chuckle as I move to kiss up and down his neck, small whimpers escaping him. “A-alright”. He stutters out. Immediately, I pick him up from my chair and take him to the bed, laying him down on it with my hovering over him. “How does it feel with me on top?”. I ask him, taking off my shirt. “I prefer it with you riding my dick”. He snaps back. “Now that’s something we’ll have to try”. I snicker, causing his face to blush. The thought of Law riding my dick sent blood straight to my dick, the growing erection being a new weird feeling.

I lean down, pressing my lips against his as I use my dominant hand to grope his breast through his shirt. He moans into the kiss, his nipples hardening the shirt. I pull away, kissing and sucking on his neck as I pull my hand away and sneak it under his shirt to continue playing with his nipple. Instead of his deep gruffly and husky groans and pants, it’s high pitch moans and whimpers. “Music to my ears~”. I pur into his ear, nippling at his neck.

I snake down more pulling his shirt up to expose tits, taking one into my mouth and sucking on the hard bud. Law lets out a soft whimper. I use my free arm that isn’t holding me up to unbutton and shove my hand down his pants, running my fingers through his folds. “My my, for someone so hesitant you sure are wet as hell”. I comment, getting an annoyed whiny groan. His moan gets louder as I rub along his clit, his back arching. “Sh-shit~”. He moans out, causing me to rub faster. He moans louder, like a sweet melody.

I pop his tit out my mouth with a ‘pop’, leaning up more to kiss his ear. “Better not be too loud, don’t want the others to hear you”. I whisper into his ear as I rub harder. “Ah! F-fuck! Yoooooou~”. He moans out. I chuckle at his little threat. “Not yet baby boy, I’m not done with you like this juuuuust yet”. I tell him, causing him to whimper. While I continue to work on his clit, I move to a sitting position at his feet, my free hand on his knee as his legs start to shake. “That’s it, cum for me, captain”. I tell him. His moans get louder as his legs shake more aggressively, being seconds away from cumming. “Fuck! Fuck (Y/n)-Ya!”. He cries out, his back arching. Before he can cum, I pull my finger away.

Law pants as he sits up slightly to look at me, brows frowning as he looks at me with half lidded eyes. I chuckle as I lean forward, getting right to his ear. “See how it feels, smart ass”. I chuckle, kissing his cheek and leaning away. He sits up more, looking me up and down. “What? Want me to do something for you now?”. He asks in a snarky tone, still not pleased at what I just did. “Nah I couldn’t, I wouldn’t ask you to suck my dick when you’re not into it”. I respond. “Then…why do you enjoy this?”. He asks. Haha, ah fuck. “Is now a good time to tell you I’m bi?”. I ask with a sheepish grin. He just chuckles. “Yeah…could kinda tell”. He mutters.

“Enough about that”. I state, grabbing onto the hem of his pants and pulling them down along with his panties. “I’m not done with you~”. I chuckle, leaning down into his legs. Still sitting up, I look him in the eyes as I softly grab his thick thighs and and kiss along it. “Ya know, you’re pretty attractive for a guy”. He mutters softly. I crack a smile at his works. “Thank you, good to hear that my love still finds me attractive”. I chuckle. I use my thumbs to spears his folds, getting a small whimper. I lean towards him, taking a long lick up his dripping folds.

His back arches as he moans, throwing his head back as I start to suck on his clit. I move my hand to go down more, pressing my fingertip lightly against his entrance. He moans when I insert the tip of my finger inside, slowly thrusting it in and out of him. “Oh my God you’re a fucking tease!”. He cries out loudly, panting. I chuckle as I pull away, still fingering him with the tip of my finger. “I’ve heard that before”. I chuckle, then leaning back down. I suck and nipple on his clit, Laws moans filling up the room and bouncing off the walls.

He looks so beautiful, moaning and panting while I show him a piece of his own medicine. I pull my finger out, changing to my pinky and teasing his entrance with it, shoving my pinky inside him fully. He lets out a whiny moan, slowly thrusting my pinky in and out. I know he wants more, to feel more, to be filled more, I am a woman after all. He cries as his legs start to shake again, a sign he’s about to cum. I would definitely finally let him get the relief of cumming if he begged, but he’s too stubborn to beg. “Fuck, ah~ please let me cum”. He cries out in desperation. No I wouldn’t. Let him suffer. “Aw, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”. I ask, using my thumb to rub his clit.

“Yes, please!”. He cries, his legs shaking more. “You’re so cute when you beg like that, you know that?”. I point out. I feel him clenching around my pinky, moments away from cumming again. With that, I pull my hand away. “Nooo”. He cries, panting and trying to catch his breath. I sit up and sit on my legs, pulling down my pants and boxers. He looks up at me with a scowl, his pretty face filled with irritation. “I’ll…get you…for this”. He pants out. I chuckle darkly as I stroke my cock, god it feels weird. “Nothing you haven’t put me through already baby, I might have to tease you like this if we ever go back to normal”. I tell him with a smirk. “Not like I wouldn’t mind us staying like this, I’d loooove to get my handsome boyfriend pregnant”. I joke. His face drops, the thought of him getting pregnant sending a chill through his body.

I lean forward to hover above him, using one hand to grab his ankles and the other to line myself up to his entrance. “What’s the matter? Don’t like the pregnancy talk? How do you think I’ve felt during all those nights, you’d be pumping me full of cum and saying how cute I’d look carrying your babies. I mean I would look cute, you’d love it”. I lean in, my mouth next to his ear to let my hot breath brush against his neck. “But I think you’d look cuter with a swollen pregnant belly, carrying my babies”. I whisper, feeling him shiver at my words. I push his legs against his chest, rubbing my tip up and down his folds. Granted, my dick isn’t as big as Laws, but it is big enough to please a woman.

I slide my tip in, then slamming my whole length into his pussy. Law lets out a loud moan, his back arching at the stuffed feeling. “Shit”. I pant, feeling his gummy walls clenching around my cock. He’s so warm, sucking me in. His face is dazed, eyes looking back at the feeling. Oh am I excited to see his fucked out face, cock drunk off his girlfriends cock. I start thrusting my hips back and forth at a speedy pace, fucking into him with swift movements. His loud moans are so beautiful, his mind probably going crazy from the feeling of having his sensitive walls getting fucked. God, Laws pussy feels fantastic. But I do get how men act so differently during sex, and I know he knows now too. Maybe he’ll go easy on me for once, like back when we first started having sex. Maybe not. Only time will tell.

I lean back to sit on my legs again, holding his legs in place as I continue thrusting. I look down at where I connect to him, watching my cock thrusting in and out of his pussy. Man this is weird, but I at least now know why Law likes to have mirror sex or look at our reflection while having sex, it is really hot. But to be fair…he bulges more in my stomach than I do his. I reach my hand around to press down on his stomach, pressing down out his stomach. His cries get louder, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Fuck, he looks so good falling apart because of my cock. I start to feel a weird sensation start to build up in my balls. Shit, I was so focused on feeling his orgasms I never considered what it would feel like to cum as a dude. Weird how that works, women feel more but men cum more. Rude.

My breathing becomes more rapid, speeding up the pace and thrusting into him harder. Fuck. Next thing I know, a warm feeling shoots through my cock and empties into Law. I stop my thrusts, Law shuttering at the feeling of my warm cum and the sudden stop. “More”. I pant out. Without thinking, I pull out of Law and flip him onto his stomach, pulling his legs up into doggy style. I rise to my knees, thrusting back in. He lets out a yelp as I start thrusting again, hammering my cock into him. I grip his hips aggressively, slamming into him. He cries into the pillow, clawing at the blankets below us for dear life.

I lean forward, gripping his hair and wrapping my hand around his neck. I chuckle as his moans grow high pitched, squeezing me at the feeling of the new position. I nipple on his ear lobe, squeezing his neck and pulling at his hair. Now I really get how Law feels, the amount of power and dominance in my hands while all he is is a squishy pile of fuckable pudding. “What’s wrong? Big strong warlord can’t take his girlfriends cock? The feared and powerful Surgeon of Death getting drunk off my cock”. I whisper into his ear, his pussy clenching at my words. I pull away, pushing his face into the pillow as I thrust faster.

That feeling in my balls arises again, and it’s growing quickly. My speed increasing and feeling inhuman as I chase my high. “P-please…slow…dooooown~”. Law begs in a cry, finally getting a word out. I laugh at his cries. “I don’t think so, pretty boy. Not when I’m so close to cumming again”. I tell him. With a few more thrusts, I cum inside him again. I stop my thrusting, keeping my cock inside Law as I watch his legs shake. He’s so close, tears in his eyes from the constant denial of finally cumming. With ease, I pick up Law and sit us on the edge of the bed, facing my vanity to see his beautiful fucked out face in the mirror. I grab his cheek, forcing him to turn and look up at me with my free hand rubbing slow circles against his clit. “If you wanna cum, Captain, you’re gonna have to ride my cock. I wanna watch you use my cock to cum, watching yourself ride me as you finally chase your high”. I demand.

And he does that, lifting himself up and down on my dick. I remove my hand and lean back to rest on my elbows, watching him fuck himself on me with a smirk. “That’s it, handsome”. I encourage, placing a hand on his hip and rubbing his waist. He’s trying so desperately to try and chase his high. I don’t blame him for not knowing how to ride well, he’s never had to ride a dick before. Also can’t blame him, I’ve been riding his dick for a good 3 years. His bounces get more harsh, slamming himself down on me. His efforts are cute, in a way. He changes from bouncing to rocking, crying out moans to try so desperately to cum.

He looks over his shoulder, tears running down his cheeks as he looks at me oh so desperately. “Please…help me”. He begs in such a sweet voice. Fuck, I felt that go straight to my dick. “Alright alright, you got it, captain”. I sit up, standing us up still connected and pushing him against my vanity. “I still want you to see yourself cum all over your girlfriends cock”. I tell him, grabbing his hips and slamming into him again. The room is filled with the sounds of Laws moaning cries and the vanity slamming against the metal wall. I hope he gets so bullied for this. His head drops as he claws at the wooded vanity, his body swaying with each harsh thrust, his legs shaking and struggling to keep himself standing up. “No no no”. I lean forward and grab his chin, forcing him to look at himself in the mirror. “Eyes up, handsome”. I lick up his neck, biting down hard on his neck. He lets out a loud cry, his walls clenching and squeezing me. That aching feeling in my balls in back, getting close to cumming inside him again. I kiss his neck, then his ear. “Come undone for me”. I whisper into his ear.

As if on queue, Law lets out a loud scream as he finally cums, legs shaking and quivering as he finally experiences a female orgasm. I continue thrusting into him, over stimulate and ride him through his orgasm. With a last few pumps from me, I finally cum and fill him up for the last time. Laws body goes limp, I quickly scoop him up in my arms and hold him up. I carry him over to the bed, laying him down gently on the bed. I leave him to come down from his high, walking into the bathroom to grab a towel and a class of water. I walk out, placing the glass on the nightstand and cleaning up the cum leaking out of him. “Drink, your throat will thank you”. I tell him. Not like he hasn’t done the same for me, but it’s still good to remind him. In his still shaking state, he sits up and drinks the water.

After cleaning him up, I climb into bed with him and spoon him from behind. As much as I prefer being the little spoon, he’s small right now and all I want to do is hold him close. “You’re evil”. I hear him mutter out. I shrug at his words. “You love me”. I tease. I lean in and kiss the back of his neck, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him close. “And I love you”. I add. He reaches down and laces his fingers through mine. “I do love you, a lot”. He admits. “Thank you, for loving me so much”. He adds. I chuckle at his sweet words. “How can I not?”.

My leg hurts, my ankle is burning. The pain is unbearable. I shiver as I look down at my bruised leg, my ankle swollen. All I wanted was to play in the snow, I didn’t intend to fall down a steep hill and ruin my leg. I don’t know where I am. Am I lost? And I gonna die out here? The pain and the fear build up inside me, giving into my emotions and burst out crying. My face freezing from my tears, my wails echoing through the cold air. “Hey”. I sniffle, opening my eyes so see a group of young teens around my age. Three boys and a polar bear, their leader clearly being the kid wearing a white hat with black spots.

His eyes shift to my leg, then back to my eyes. “Your leg, can you walk?”. He asks me. I try moving my leg, getting a whimper of pain. I shake my head. “Please, help me”. I beg, starting to cry again. He walks over, picking me up into his arms. “Stop crying, I’ll help you”. He tells me. I look up at him with wide eyes, then smiling brightly and wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him. “Thank you!”. I thank. “Don’t thank me”. He tells me. He starts walking, his friends following close behind. I smile softly to myself as I nuzzle up close against him into his neck. “What’s your name?”. I ask him in a soft voice. “It’s Law”. He answers. “Law…”. I whisper under my breath. I cling to him tighter, not wanting to let go. ‘Thank you, Law’.

[bonus]

Time has passed since the whole gender bent even, the guys seemingly not wanting to talk about their time as women. I sit in the kitchen with Penguin and Sachi, enjoying our morning coffee. The door creeks open, our captain walking in. “Looks like captain is joining us in the land of the living”. Sachi jokes as we watch him walk over and get his own coffee. “Shut it, it’s too early for this”. He sighs, filling up his mug.

Penguin snickers. “We weren’t telling you that when (Y/n) had you screaming a few weeks back”. He jokes. Law chokes on his coffee, Sachi laughing at his friends joke. Before Law can say anything, I cut in. “Oh quiet you two, maybe next time you two get turned into girls I’ll get you two scream”. I threaten, then taking a sip of my coffee. The room falls silent as I look at Penguin and Sachi with a wide smirk.

We turn when we hear Law chuckle, who then takes a sip of his coffee. “At least they’d get laid”. He comments, then casually walking out the kitchen. The two fall silent as I burst out laughing, putting my mug on the table so I can hold my hurting stomach. “Quit laughing!”. They snap at me, but all I can do is continue laughing at them.

#one piece #one piece law x reader #one piece trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader

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thinkofmehoney · 3 months

Text

“Cooking up comfort”

mpreg!Choso x you

next part here<3

Summary: Neither you or Choso imagined that this could ever be possible, at first it was just a thought that crossed your mind. Since Choso was a half curse and had connection with the sorcery world. Would it be too crazy to find a way for him to get pregnant? Well, after doing an extensive research for a couple of months, and ten weeks later, Choso was expecting your child.

Even though it resulted possible for him to get pregnant, it wasn’t something common, a man getting pregnant was still something rare even though a lot of strange things were normal in this sorcery world. It was truly a blessing for both of you, it had its risks and complications, but he really wanted this, to form a family with you, and you would be there for him in every step of the way.

Where you cook lunch for your pregnant boyfriend and he gets too emotional (and nauseous)

contents: Mpreg Choso x female reader, fluff and slight angst, emotional hurt/comfort, slice of life, Unconventional Pregnancy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Notes: Long story short, I was using Janitor AI, my API code was about to expire and I was bored and came up with this JSKSJS It wasn’t exactly like this, this is more of an inspired fic.

I mention this briefly on the fic, but basically they made their research until they found a doctor who could help them. The doctor was also a sorcerer, of course average people didn’t knew this, but other sorcerers did.

the doctor’s cursed technique was similar to Mahito’s technique, in the way he could modify the bodies of his patients without having to necessarily use a scalpel. He temporarily modified Choso’s reproductive system, giving him a female reproductive system until he conceived and his baby was born.

For you to be able to impregnate Choso, the doctor made an incantation for you, so first he modified your reproductive system turning it into a male one, but it was temporary, like Choso’s procedure but with a slight difference. With an incantation given to you by the doctor, you were able to change your reproductive system from male to female and viceversa, you couldn’t do it too often as you had to wait a few hours because of how energy consuming this was, but aside from that, you could modify it as you pleased. Choso’s procedure wasn’t like this, because to have a baby he needed a stable reproductive system that could be fertile, that’s why he had to have a female one during his whole pregnancy until the baby is born.

𓈒 ݁ ₊ ݁

Choso remembers well how he felt that day, when all your efforts and the procedures you both had to get through finally paid off. He felt shock, excitement, fear, extreme happiness, truly an adrenaline mix of emotions, after all, it’s not every day you’re a man who gets told that he is pregnant.

He was beyond excited to start a little family with you, the love of his life. He was grateful to have you by his side, supporting and loving him so sincerely, it was a genuine kind of love. He was totally convinced that you two were soulmates, sometimes it made you giggle by the way he explained so passionately to you that hypothesis.

It’s been already ten weeks since you two received the good news, but it hasn’t been exactly easy for him. The doctor explained this beforehand, so you two would know the risks and complications that were involved in Choso’s unique condition. Since he had a male body with a now female reproductive system, his body had to adapt and prepare for it, and now that he was finally pregnant, some symptoms were significantly stronger for him than they would be in an average pregnancy.

On the good side, since he had his blood manipulation technique, he could control things like his blood pressure, which was a really great advantage for him. On the other side, things like mood swings, cravings (and food aversions), and morning sickness were just a pain in the ass.

Choso couldn’t help but feel guilty that you had to keep up with him, you were just so kind to him it made him want to cry. Right now, he was reading a knitting and crocheting magazine next to you on the sofa, he enjoyed creating yarn pieces for his loved ones, but it mainly helped him to feel more human in a way, it had significantly helped with his existencial crisis as a half-curse, so it was a great hobby for him.

Focused on reading, he had a small frown on his face, which you thought it was adorable because he didn’t even noticed when he did it. You gently brushed the wrinkles between his eyebrows with your thumb, getting Choso’s attention and making him smile awkwardly when he noticed he was frowning unconsciously.

“I was doing it again.” He chuckled, now gently holding your hand that was caressing his frown. “I found an interesting pattern that I can do with a thin yarn.” He showed you on the magazine. “I think it would be perfect for the baby, because I need a special yarn for them so it doesn’t hurt their skin.” He explained with his usual calmed demeanor, and the idea of him crocheting things for the baby made your heart melt.

You took a look at the magazine, giggling at the images of tiny gloves and baby hats. “Yeah, our baby will look so cute with the tiny crochet pieces you’ll do for them, and it will also keep them warm, it’s perfect.”

You looked at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was time for lunch. Ever since Choso’s cravings started, you’ve improved your cooking skills so much that now cooking him specific plates he craved was like a personal challenge for you.

You stood up from the couch and stretched your arms above your head, Choso’s eyes subtly looked at you and the way your t-shirt lifted up just enough to see a strip of skin of your lower abdomen, making him blush slightly and turn to look down, back at his magazine.

“I’ll cook lunch for us.” You announced and Choso looked at you again, with a special shine in his eyes. “Is there something specific that you want?”

Choso thought about it for a moment, he loved the way you cook and having lunch next to you was one of his favorite parts of the day “What about avocado pasta? it’s been a while since I’ve eaten avocado.” He suggested.

You didn’t have a single avocado in the house. But it wouldn’t stop you.

“Sounds really good, avocado pasta it is.” You smiled at him, turning around to walk towards the main entrance. “I’ll be right back, I’ll go get some avocados!”

He couldn’t say a word before you were already outside. Half an hour later, you came back home with a bag of three avocados and also some cream, but you noticed a certain smell in the air, you walked into the kitchen to see Choso stirring a pot, boiling the noodles, he once again looked at you with that awkward smile of his.

“But Choso, I was going to cook lunch for us.” You said, leaving the avocados in the kitchen counter to walk towards him.

“I know, I know! I just wanted to do something while you were at the store. I want to help you as much as I can while I’m still not useless, you know?” He answered with a slight pout, he appreciated that you wanted to do things for him, but sometimes he felt like a burden, so he wanted to keep helping you now that his baby bump wasn’t big or heavy.

You caressed his strong arm, resting your cheek against his skin, “You won’t be useless, Choso. You’re carrying our baby and it takes lots of effort.” You said reassuringly. “I just want you to be relaxed, alright?” You explained to Choso your desire for him to experience a peaceful and relaxed pregnancy as much as he could, knowing that his journey wouldn’t be as easy as a regular pregnancy.

He put aside the wooden spoon he was using to stir the noodles and sighed, his gaze fixed on the bubbling water. Your arms moved to wrap around his waist, and your hands found their way to caress the small bump.

“Thank you for boiling the noodles, though.” You murmured, your cheek resting against his back. “But please don’t worry about cooking or washing dishes, let me take care of it so you and the baby can crochet something or watch a movie on TV.” A smile appeared on your face when you felt him chuckle.

He turned around to cup your face with his big hands, leaning in to leave a kiss on your forehead, “Alright, I can’t argue with you.” He smiled softly, looking at you with those tired eyes. “I’ll go to the living room, but please tell me if you need me to help.”

You nodded, standing on your tippy toes to leave a kiss on his lips.

𓈒 ݁ ₊

Choso understood completely that you wanted to do things for him, to make his day a little bit easier, he would do the same thing in your place, or he might be even worse. But again, he felt guilty.

It was most likely a product of his condition and hormones, because he just felt really bad that you were doing so much for him every day, things he could perfectly do himself. With this weight on his heart, he looked at you from the sofa, the food was ready and you placed the two plates on the table.

“Avocado pasta for your majesty.” You said playfully, taking your seat at the table.

Choso chuckled at your words, taking a seat next to you. He picked his fork and look down at the vibrant plate, the noodles were saturated with this creamy avocado sauce that you prepared just for him, and without wasting any more time, he pinched a few short noddles and started to eat.

But as he chewed, he started to think about how weird it felt to eat hot mashed avocado, the taste of the ripe fruit almost reminding him of a trash-bag with rotten vegetables, that smell was stuck on his nose and the slimy texture didn’t help. He started to chew more slowly, lowering the fork and setting it down with a soft clink against the plate.

While you were eating, you noticed Choso’s change of demeanor, and an expression on his face that seemed like he was about to cry and throw up, it worried you. “Choso? Are you alright?” You asked carefully, with a hint of concern.

He looked at his almost untouched plate with a mix of guilt and frustration. He felt overwhelmed by his fluctuating emotions, and this sudden aversion to the flavor of avocado only added to his distress.

“I’m sorry, love. I just… I can’t handle the taste of avocado right now,” Choso replied, his voice filled with frustration. He quickly looked at you “It’s not your fault, I know you put effort into cooking for us. It’s just… this pregnancy is messing with my taste buds and it’s driving me crazy.”

He sighed, his eyes welling up with tears. “I hate feeling like this, like I’m being ungrateful for all the things you do for me,” he continued, his voice wavering. “But the hormones are making everything so intense and overwhelming. I just want to be normal again and enjoy the things I used to.”

You felt a wave of sadness wash over your heart, it was difficult to see him like this, knowing that his pregnancy state is amplifying even more his frustrating emotions, you wished you could take all his suffering away from him.

You moved his plate aside and got closer to him, protectively wrapping him into your arms, his cheek rested against your collarbone while he hid in the crook of your neck. “It’s alright, it’s alright…” You cooed really softly, caressing his hair and letting him cry as much as he needed.

Choso shook his head, “it’s not alright, you even had to go out to buy the avocados to cook what I asked you and now I can’t even eat it.” He looked up at you, his eyes big and filled with guilt, “I didn’t want to make you upset, I just really can’t stand the taste of it right now, b-but I can make up for it! I can do whatever you want, I can cook something for you, just ask and I’ll-“

Before he could start to hyperventilate further more, you cupped his face in your hands, making him look into your eyes with his own glossy ones. When you pressed your lips on his forehead so softly and tenderly, he could only pout because of how endearing it was, you were too good to him, he didn’t felt like he deserved it.

“Breathe, baby, just try to breathe deeply for a moment.” You instructed gently, helping Choso to feel more grounded.

Wiping some stray tears with your thumbs, you continued to talk to him. “I’m not upset, pretty thing, it’s just avocado and some noodles, I couldn’t possibly get mad at you for it.” You smiled at him, your soft giggles making him feel more at ease.

Even though that pet name made him blush slightly, he still had some lingering self-deprecating thoughts. He opened his mouth to keep talking, but you stopped him right away with a short kiss.

You continued, with the softest voice. “I know this has been a really difficult journey for you, baby. I know you wish you could be like before, but I want you to remember that it will all be worth it in the end.” You smiled softly and reassuringly at him, “Some months ago, we wouldn’t even think this could be possible, but now look at you! You’re ten weeks along and you’re doing it amazingly.”

He smiled softly, his crying starting to cease. He leaned his head back on your shoulder, finding comfort in your warmth. “I think I’ve never imagined myself being pregnant.” His voice tinged with a mix of vulnerability and gratitude. “Well, I never really pictured myself living a peaceful life… But now, I feel so glad that I get to experience it with you.”

Choso now sat straight, wiping the remaining tears from his cheeks and sniffling his nose a couple of times, “Thank you for keeping up with me, even when I’m difficult sometimes.” He reached out to cup your face with his hand, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb.

You nuzzled into his touch, “Your body is going through big changes, it’s natural that you feel overwhelmed. But you’re not alone, we’re a team.” You kissed his palm, your lips lingering for a moment before you gently pulled away.

Choso's eyes reflected gratitude as he let out a small sigh. "I appreciate that more than I can express."

Now that he was more calmed, you remembered that he still had to eat something, he needed to eat good for him and the baby.

"How about we distract ourselves for a bit? I'll cook something different, and you can join me in the kitchen. It might be a good way to take your mind off things."

His eyes brightened with interest. "Cook together?"

"Yeah," you chuckled. "We'll make it a You and Me cooking special. What do you think?"

Notes: I’m not completely satisfied so I’ll write more one-shots for this mpreg Choso au !!

likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!! it motivates me a lot<3

#jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #jjk choso #jjk imagines #jjk mpreg #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #choso imagine #choso one shot #choso #choso kamo #choso x reader #mpreg choso #mpreg fic

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evanesdust · 5 months

Text

Have kids, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. ...or the one where Stiles and Derek's kids had no shame.

ONE

Potty training was a nightmare.

Stiles shook his head and sighed as he helped Eli out of his training pants. Ugh. Not only were they running late for dinner at his dad’s, but Derek had just tossed the last load of laundry in that morning too, finally catching them up from the mound of clothes that seemed to pile up ever since Eli decided he couldn’t wear an outfit for more than an hour.

Weren’t kids supposed to be adorable and not constantly creating chaos or leaving disasters in their wake?

Still, as frustrated as he was that Eli had yet another accident, Stiles knew he shouldn’t be too upset. Eli was only two and his accidents were getting few and far between. He was even making it through the night without wetting the bed now. A feat he was very proud of announcing every morning during breakfast. Stiles was pretty sure it was because Derek made such a show of how proud he was.

“It’s okay, kiddo,” Stiles told him, tipping Eli’s chin up so he was looking into his eyes. He put a smile on his face, not wanting Eli to think he was mad or disappointed in him. “Accidents happen.” And then, because Stiles wanted Eli to know that everyone made mistakes, that no one was perfect, he added, “There was one time when I got so into a video game, I pretty much peed my pants because I waited too long to go to the bathroom.”

Eli stared at him with wide eyes, as if he were trying to process the idea that his dad was once a kid like him, making similar mistakes. Shit. Who was Stiles kidding? Eli was two. His thought process was probably more like, Daddy peed himself, too? Stiles wasn’t about to tell Eli that he was damn near a teenager when it happened.

“A really silly thing to do, huh?” Stiles continued, his tone light and encouraging. “But that just goes to show, even daddies make mistakes. We just have to remember to learn from them and try to do better next time.”

Eli blinked at him a couple of times and then his small face broke into a grin that could rival Derek’s. Eli might have been a mini-Stiles, but there were times when all Stiles could see was Derek. And that smile was one of them.

“O-tay, Daddy,” Eli said, hugging Stiles as tightly as a two-year-old could.

Stiles couldn’t help but laugh, hugging him back and patting the top of his head gently. “Alright, but it’s time for a bath. And it’s gotta be quick because we’re heading over to Grandpa’s house for dinner.”

Eli lit up at that and finished undressing while Stiles got the bath ready.

Forty minutes later, they pulled up in front of his dad’s house. Stiles helped Eli out of the Jeep and then waved at Mrs. Wilson, one of his dad’s neighbors, who was working in her garden. She’d lived there for as long as Stiles could remember.

“Good to see you boys again. Visiting your dad for dinner?” she asked, holding a hand up to block the sun as she smiled at them. “No husband tonight?”

“Derek’s got a late shift,” Stiles told her, nearly falling when Eli pulled away from him to run over to her. Despite his age and tiny stature, he was strong. Not a surprise since he took after Derek in that respect. Damn werewolf genetics. He’d probably be an alpha, too.

Eli squinted as he squatted next to her, that ever-present curiosity etched all over his face as he watched her dig into the soil.

“I had an accident,” he told her, making Stiles chuckle. Not just because it was so funny how candid kids were, especially toddlers—seriously, they just had no shame. But because the way Eli said “accident” made it sound more like ass-ident. Before Stiles could correct him on the pronunciation, Eli continued, “But my daddy said it was o-tay. He has accidents too.”

Oh, Christ.

Stiles ran a hand down his face, wondering if this was part of that payback his dad always mentioned. It went something like, ’Enjoy the peace now because someday your kids will throw the stuff you did back in your face.’

“Well, isn’t that just a good thing to know,” Mrs. Wilson said, blinking and then laughing so hard she started to cough. Stiles was about to rush over, but she waved him off and composed herself.

“Oh, such honesty from such a small person.” She continued to laugh, patting Eli lightly on the head before sending him clambering back to Stiles.

Shaking his head, Stiles scooped up his tiny mischief-maker, who was giggling like a giddy gnome. The little tattle-tale. God, Derek was going to laugh his ass off when he got home from work tonight.

***

TWO

Stiles snorted as he walked into the bathroom. He couldn’t even be a little upset at all the water on the floor when Derek looked too damn funny sitting on the floor beside the tub, completely soaked from Eli’s splashing. Not a surprise considering their five-year-old somehow always left a disaster in his wake.

With one hand on his belly, Stiles stood in the doorway. The twins kicked under his palm, probably not appreciating his laughter since it jostled them around—and there wasn’t a whole lot of room left for movement since he was due in a few (hopefully) short weeks.

“Are you…laughing at me?” Derek asked as he stood, water dripping from his hair.

Stiles shook his head, eyes narrowed at the gleam in Derek’s eyes. It spoke of mischief and mayhem, and Stiles had a pretty good idea of what Derek was about to do.

“Uh uh. No way, don’t you even think about it,” he warned at Derek’s slow approach. But that didn’t seem to deter Derek, who stalked over, shaking his head like a wet dog. Each droplet that made its way toward Stiles had him laughing harder, his rounded belly bouncing with the effort. Eli’s laughter rang through the air, clearly finding this whole spectacle tremendously amusing.

Little traitor, Stiles thought fondly before turning his gaze back to Derek.

“I’ll get you for this,” he declared amidst fits of laughter, but Derek only grinned at him, his eyes soft with affection.

Eli continued giggling, his tiny hands clapping together with glee, utterly oblivious to the wet chaos happening around him. Or maybe because of the chaos since the bathroom, already half-flooded, had transformed into his own private water park.

Stiles gripped Derek’s arms, smiling up at him. “You’re cleaning this up, y'know.”

“Eli is. Aren’t you, bud?” Derek called out, never taking his eyes off Stiles before he kissed him on the tip of his nose. “He already knows he has to clean up the mess he made.”

“Something tells me this wasn’t just him…” Stiles said, narrowing his eyes, though there was no heat in his glare.

Derek gave him a megawatt smile, the kind reserved for Stiles and Stiles alone. “The little shit splashed me. I had to get payback.”

Stiles laughed again, tossing his head back. He slid his hands up to Derek’s shoulders, then to the back of his head, threading his fingers through Derek’s hair.

“I may have gone…overboard.” Derek’s words were muffled as he buried his face in the crook of Stiles’s neck, his breath warm, making Stiles shiver. Not just from the contrast of the cold water soaking through his shirt, but from the flood of arousal coursing through his veins at Derek’s proximity. A spark ignited in Stiles’s belly, warming him from the inside out despite the water that was steadily soaking into his shirt.

But now was not the time for that.

“Well, since you helped make the mess"—he gently tugged on Derek’s hair until Derek lifted his head—"you get to help your son clean up.”

Derek leaned in and nipped at his jaw. “Did I ever tell you that I like it when you’re bossy?”

Stiles would be offended if it weren’t for the teasing lilt of Derek’s voice or the playful smile on his stupidly handsome face. There was also the fact that Stiles was rendered speechless as Derek pulled away and yanked his shirt over his head. Stiles would never ever—ever—get used to the sight of a shirtless Derek Hale. Not even after nearly ten years together.

“Not. Fair,” he ground out, already forgetting whatever quip he’d been about to throw out.

Derek chuckled, the sound reverberating off the walls as he grabbed a couple of dirty towels from the laundry hamper. He tossed them on the floor, laying them out over the water. When Stiles stepped further into the room, Derek held a hand out, a silent offer to help him cross the slippery surface.

Accepting Derek’s hand, Stiles carefully walked over to the bathtub, sitting on the edge to watch Eli while Derek cleaned up.

“Take off your shirt,” Derek told him, reminding Stiles that it was wet now after Derek’s impromptu water attack. “I’ll get you a new one.”

Without hesitation, Stiles did as he was told, pulling the soaked garment over his head and tossing it in the direction of the hamper. “Now who’s the bossy one?”

“Still you.” Derek pressed a kiss to the top of his head before exiting the bathroom, leaving Stiles alone with Eli.

Eli, ever the fiendish five-year-old, was quick to dip his hands in the water once more and, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, flicked water at him. Stiles shook his head as a few rogue droplets struck against his bare chest.

“Nuh uh, no more water shenanigans,” he chided lightly, pointing a firm finger at Eli, who responded with an infectious, toothy grin, his head bobbing as he giggled. “Did Daddy already wash your hair?”

Eli nodded, scooping bubbles into his palm and scooting closer to Stiles. “Daddy, what are these?”

Before Stiles could ask what he meant, Eli stuck his little hands out, smacking his palms against Stiles’s slightly larger-than-normal chest and squeezing. Stiles yelped because one, it was cold, and two, his chest was more sensitive now that his milk was already coming in.

Stiles gently wrapped his fingers around Eli’s small wrists, pulling his far too curious child’s hands away. “Well, I’m an omega, and since I’m pregnant—”

“With Caleb and Clara!” Eli interrupted, always so excited to talk about his baby brother and sister.

“Yes, with Caleb and Clara,” Stiles continued. “Since I’m an omega, I’m able to produce milk, so I can feed them after they’re born.”

Eli nodded as if he knew exactly what Stiles was talking about. “Like a cow? We learned about them when we went to the farm.”

Christ. Stiles could already picture the hysterics Derek was bound to have when he heard about this. With a laugh, he ruffled Eli’s wet hair affectionately, listening to him talk about the field trip he’d gone on to one of the nearby farms. And just as he was imagining Derek’s comical response, the man himself walked back into the room, clean and dry, and holding fresh towels and a shirt for Stiles. Stiles took in the sight before him with an appreciative hum. Even after all their years together, the sight of Derek still gave him butterflies.

“I heard that,” Derek said, a half-exasperated, half-amused look on his face as he leaned down and tipped Stiles’s chin up, giving him a sweet kiss. “And don’t worry, I’d still love you even if you started bellowing.”

Stiles snorted at that, taking his shirt from Derek. “Wow. You really know how to charm a guy, don’t you, Hale?”

Derek’s only response was a quick wink before he turned back toward Eli and his bath. “Alright. Bath time is over. Time for bed.”

As Eli opened his mouth, no doubt ready to start negotiations for ’just five more minutes, please,’ Stiles pulled the fresh shirt over his head, still laughing over the entire interaction.

***

THREE

A warm breath tickled the back of Stiles’s neck and he inhaled sharply, letting out a quiet moan as the scent of freshly made waffles wafted through the room. His eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light seeping in through the bedroom curtains, painting the room in hues of golden yellow.

The bed dipped and he turned, blinking up at his smiling husband.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Derek whispered before leaning down and stealing a sweet kiss.

Stiles sighed, bringing a hand up and carding it through Derek’s hair. It was so soft, and he loved running his fingers through it.

“What time is it?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep. He drew his hand back and sat up, shivering slightly when the sheets pooled at his waist, exposing his bare torso. “Where are the kids?”

Even if they let him sleep in, they’d still be the ones to run in and wake him. Usually by jumping all over the bed—and him.

Derek set a tray filled with plates of food on his lap. “It’s almost noon. Laura picked them up this morning.”

Stiles frowned in confusion. Almost noon? Damn. He must have been more tired than he realized after getting home from work last night. Then again, he’d done back-to-back doubles to help cover some shifts, since a couple of the deputies were out on medical leave.

“She did?” As far as Stiles knew, they didn’t have any plans with her. However, she was also the ’fun aunt’ and prone to unexpected visits.

“Yeah. She said she was giving us the day and was taking the kids to some park or another,” Derek clarified before chuckling.

Stiles nodded absentmindedly, his eyes straying away from Derek to survey the breakfast banquet laid out before him. Belgian waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, bacon, and eggs.

“With Caleb and Clara?” he asked.

They were only three but somehow still in their terrible twos. It was brave of her to volunteer to take them, Stiles thought. Dealing with their twin tornadoes single-handedly was no simple feat. Hell, Eli wasn’t that much better at times, though he was only seven.

“Yeah,” Derek nodded, rubbing Stiles’s back. “But the rest of the pack were meeting her there. Plus, she packed up all their favorite toys and snacks. Even their nap mats. They’ll be fine.”

Stiles relaxed at that. He felt better knowing the others would be there to help Laura, especially when the twins were in their most energetic moods.

“I hope she knows what she’s getting into,” he mumbled around a forkful of eggs. “Pack or no pack.”

Derek chuckled again, pulling Stiles closer and snagging a piece of bacon. “I’m sure she’ll manage. Now eat.”

Savoring the peaceful moment, Stiles dug into the breakfast Derek made. The waffles were fluffy and sweet, inviting him to take another bite.

It wasn’t long before all the food was gone and Derek got up to put the tray on the dresser. He was shirtless, his back muscles rippling in the sunlight that poured in through the windows.

Stiles watched in silent appreciation. Okay, maybe not so silent because a little moan slipped out when Derek turned. His sweatpants were thin. So thin that Stiles could tell he wasn’t wearing anything under them by the impressive outline of Derek’s dick as it hung against his thigh.

And just like that Stiles’s boxers were damp with slick.

Derek’s eyes flashed crimson, nose flaring as he inhaled. A quiet growl slipped out, making Stiles shiver the way it always did.

“Derek,” Stiles said in an inviting whisper, sliding down until he was lying flat on his back on the bed, legs spread wide. The cool sheets against his warm skin sent another shiver through him.

Derek was there in an instant, pinning him to the mattress with a playful growl. His weight was a welcome heat as his large hands roamed over Stiles’s chest. Soft kisses followed the trail, igniting a heat within him that only Derek could kindle.

Stiles gasped and arched his back, wanting more—relentless desire bubbling up inside him, his breath hitching.

“God, Derek.” Stiles whimpered when Derek latched onto one of his nipples, his teeth grazing the sensitive nub teasingly. Stiles’s heart pounded in his chest as excited anticipation washed over him, and he surged upward in response, grabbing at Derek and pressing their lips together hungrily.

Their tongues collided, exploring each other in a dance as familiar as the beat of their hearts. Derek pulled back momentarily, his gaze filled with warmth and desire.

Stiles slid a hand down Derek’s chest to his stomach, fingers scratching through the coarse hair there before reaching the waistband of Derek’s sweatpants. The sight of Derek’s dilated pupils and the feel of his fast-beating heart against his chest had Stiles grinning like a fool. His heart flipped with anticipation as he dipped his fingers beneath the waistband, wrapping his hand around Derek’s dick. It was hot and silky smooth. Rock hard.

Derek shuddered under his touch.

“God, Stiles,” Derek groaned, his voice roughened by desire. He rolled his hips into Stiles’s touch, nuzzling against his cheek as he continued to murmur breathy praises. Every whisper whetted Stiles’s deepening delight, coaxing him further into the delightful haze settling around them.

“Derek,” Stiles breathed out, his hand working a steady rhythm as he absorbed Derek’s reactions. His heart pounded in sync with the thrum of desire coursing through him.

Derek’s hands were everywhere—gripping his hips, tracing his ribs, raking fingers down his flanks.

Derek kissed him again. Deeply, heatedly. His hand drifted over Stiles’s chest, down to his stomach, and then even lower to brush against the sticky dampness in his boxers. A sharp intake of breath followed, and Stiles’s hips bucked up into Derek’s hand.

“Derek!” Stiles yelped, his fingers tightening around Derek’s dick. The sudden movement earned a ragged moan from Derek.

“I’ve got you,” Derek murmured, nipping at Stiles’s jaw and thrusting into his fist. “Let me take care of you.”

The onslaught of sensations had Stiles moaning loudly, but he didn’t care about the noise. Derek didn’t either, Stiles knew that. He knew that it only spurred Derek on. The world outside didn’t exist when they were lost in the thrill of each other.

Then Derek worked his way down Stiles’s body, leaving a trail of feverish kisses in his wake. When he finally reached the waistband of Stiles’s boxers, he glanced up at Stiles, a devastatingly handsome smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

So unfair.

Stiles responded by biting his lower lip, his cheeks heating from how much he wanted Derek’s mouth on his cock. How much he wanted Derek’s tongue on his slick hole.

By the primal and feral look in his eyes, Derek seemed to understand, catching the hint as he slid fingers under the band of Stiles’s boxers and pulled them down. Even in the midst of pleasure, his actions were careful and delicate, a testament to his love and reverence for Stiles.

Once he was naked, Derek began taking him apart, his tongue expertly teasing and tasting. Slowly and sweetly. His scruffy jaw scraped Stiles’s thighs, and it was sensory overload, leaving Stiles a moaning mess beneath him, his pleas and gasps echoing around the room. It was as if Derek was everywhere, all at once, his hands gripping Stiles at the same time his mouth consumed him, drawing out cries that filled the air. Stiles couldn’t hold back any longer; not when Derek ate him out like he was starving for him. Not when Derek thrust two fingers into him, curling and flexing them as he sucked Stiles’s cock in a way that made his toes curl.

Stiles was reduced to gasping whimpers as Derek worked his fingers inside him. Torturing him in the best of ways until every nerve in his body sang and the only words left in his vocabulary were please and fuck.

Derek looked up at him through hooded eyes, and with the way he was kneeling, Stiles could see his cock straining against the confines of his sweatpants. It was decadently sinful.

“Derek, please.” Stiles wasn’t sure what he was begging for. He tangled his fingers in Derek’s hair, urging him on. Wanting more.

More of his mouth.

More of his fingers.

His cock.

“Yes.” Derek’s voice was rough, filled with desire. His movements paused for a second as he swiftly removed his sweatpants, leaving him as exposed as Stiles was. The sight of him was breathtaking, all muscle and skin. And pure raw power. His eyes were a darkened crimson, a sign of how turned on he was.

Stiles watched with anticipation as Derek settled between his spread legs. He wrapped his hand around his cock, giving it a few good strokes.

“Stiles,” Derek’s voice was a low growl as he positioned himself at Stiles’s slick hole.

An expectant silence fell between them as they both caught their breaths, eyes locked, sharing an intimate stare that spoke volumes of the unbridled love between them.

“Ready?” Derek asked. His voice was barely above a whisper, a tender lilt tinging the last syllable.

Stiles nodded, his lips slowly turning into a smile as he looped his arms and legs around Derek, pulling him closer. Needing to feel all of him.

The moment Derek bottomed out, a shared moan escaped them, the sound echoing around the room, mixed with the soft rustling of the sheets. God, Derek felt so good. Filled him up so perfectly. And when Derek rolled his hips, Stiles matched the rhythm to a beat primal in nature as Derek’s heart pounded against his own—their pulses drumming an unraveling symphony. Pleasure wrapped around Stiles like a living, breathing entity.

Taunting him.

Teasing him.

Luring him into the abyss.

“Oh f-fuck,” Stiles stuttered, his fingers digging into the small of Derek’s back in an attempt to bring him closer, to feel more of him, even though there wasn’t a molecule of space between them.

Derek wrapped his arms underneath Stiles, holding him tightly as he thrust into him. It was hard enough that Stiles gasped, but Derek swallowed the sound, capturing Stiles’s lips in a searing kiss, rocking into him and setting a leisurely pace that was all about pleasure, not urgency.

“Good?” Derek asked after a few minutes, his voice husky and strained. Stiles knew he was holding back, prolonging the moment. Making it last since this was something they didn’t get to experience much anymore outside of Stiles’s heat and Derek’s rut.

“So good,” Stiles breathed out, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy. Derek kept up the rhythm, matching Stiles’s breaths, pleasuring him in a way that was both new and achingly familiar. The room filled with the sweet and intoxicating scent of Derek and them. It was all Stiles needed. All he wanted.

Their pace fastened gradually, turning more desperate. More urgent. Escalating the euphoria coursing through Stiles. Derek held Stiles’s thighs, lifting his hips to meet his every thrust. Stiles gripped his cock, stroking himself, and the oncoming climax was inevitable. He welcomed it with open arms, letting it pull him under its exhilarating tide—his release spilling hot and sticky between them.

It only intensified when Derek’s knot swelled, filling him in the most delicious way. Especially when Derek’s thrusts grew erratic as he chased his own pleasure.

“Stiles. StilesStilesStiles,” Derek groaned, as if Stiles’s name was all he could say, all he could think about as the pleasure built up, threatening to break him apart.

And then it did. Every muscle in Derek’s body went rigid, his grip tightening around Stiles as he emptied himself into Stiles with a roar that shook their room before biting down on Stiles’s mating bite.

Stiles gasped at the bright sting of pain that quickly flooded into an overwhelming wave of euphoria as he tumbled into the abyss with Derek, another orgasm ripping through him that had him shuddering. That had his vision blurring, ears filled with only Derek’s rough growls and the pounding of his own heart.

He clung to Derek as he rode out the waves of pleasure.

Minutes passed, or maybe it was hours. Time held no meaning as exquisite fatigue washed over him until he emerged from his orgasmic trance, still trembling from the aftershocks.

Derek was somehow both gentle and steadfast, his large hands soothing and grounding him as he traced delicate patterns across Stiles’s skin, quiet in the wake of their shared pleasure.

“You back with me?” Derek asked, his voice barely audible but filled with a teasing hint of relief and satisfaction. His hands caressed Stiles’s sides, a calming and relaxing touch. His whole body enveloped Stiles. Muscular and masculine. Strength and warmth. Comfort.

Stiles found the strength to nod, a gentle murmur escaping his lips. “Mmm… Always with you.”

Derek’s chest rumbled with a pleased purr as he nosed at Stiles’s throat, planting languid kisses there.

“Tired,” Stiles mumbled into Derek’s shoulder, drowsiness creeping up on him, heightened by the post-coital relaxation flooding his system.

Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles as he nosed against his hair before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You can sleep. I’ll clean us up when my knot goes d—”

The sound of minions giggling interrupted him, announcing Derek had a phone call. The ringtone never failed to make Stiles laugh, though Derek grumbled and let out a groan of dissent, pressing his nose deeper into Stiles’s hair, inhaling deeply.

“Worse damn timing,” he muttered, not moving to answer the call.

Stiles rubbed his back, chuckling as he fought sleep. “You should check that.”

Just in case it was Laura since she had the kids.

Derek grumbled again as he propped himself up on one elbow to reach for his phone on the nightstand, careful of his knot. It tugged deliciously on Stiles’s rim, but he bit back his moan as Derek answered the call.

“Hey. Everything alright?” Derek asked before mouthing, ’Laura,’ so Stiles knew who it was.

He couldn’t hear her response, but after a minute, Derek snorted. In fact, his whole body shook with laughter, making Stiles moan as Derek’s knot tugged at his rim again.

Laura must have heard it because Derek rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who called after taking the kids to—and I quote—’give you some time alone’. You even winked.”

Whatever she said made Derek shake his head. He fumbled with the phone and said, “Hold on. I’m going to put you on speaker.”

“You’re lucky you’re my favorite brother…” Laura’s voice came through the phone’s speaker. “I say again, I can’t believe you answered the phone while you’re knotted.”

“He’s your only brother,” Stiles pointed out. “And of course, we’re going to answer. You have our kids. It could have been an emergency.”

“Not an emergency, no. But definitely something that needs to be addressed!” Laura’s voice came through the phone’s speaker. “And it’s not funny, Derek! I thought he was potty trained!”

“Uh…does someone wanna fill me in?” Stiles was a bit lost. And very confused. “Everyone’s potty trained…?”

“Sure,” Laura said, sounding perfectly unamused. “Caleb probably was until he decided to relieve himself when we sat down for a snack. Just dropped his pants and peed against the closest tree!”

Stiles couldn’t hide his laugh as he imagined the scene: Laura standing there in shocked horror as Caleb peed liberally on a tree with a satisfied expression on his face.

This was definitely an ’I told you so’ moment. More for Derek—and Isaac—since they’d insisted on showing the boys they could just pee on a tree when they were outside. Though they’d obviously meant at home or in the preserve, and not, as Caleb had interpreted it, whenever and wherever the mood struck him. Unfortunately, that valuable/awful lesson seemed to have stuck.

“That’s…awww man. Sorry about that, Laura,” Stiles managed to say, trying to stifle his laughter now. “But technically that shows he’s potty trained. It wasn’t like he peed in his pants.”

Besides, the twins were still in training pants, so even if Caleb had had an accident, it wouldn’t have been too bad.

“Yeah, it's real hilarious,” Laura continued, sarcasm dripping from every word. “He could have asked one of us to take him to the bathroom! And that’s not even taking into account that Clara tries to hug every bystander within a four-foot radius. I know we’re werewolves, but we’re also trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy. Werewolf or not, strangers don’t appreciate being hugged by a child they don’t know. Especially when the child also happens to be unusually strong and fast for their age.”

Stiles chuckled again, picturing Clara’s warm, enthusiastic hugs throwing unsuspecting passersby off balance. It was so like her to befriend the world, but he could understand Laura’s frustration.

“Understood, Laura,” Stiles said, pressing his palm flat against Derek’s chest, fingers splayed wide over his heart. “We’ll talk to them, see if we can work on the…social boundaries a bit.”

“’Social boundaries.’ Yeah, I like that. And Derek, you can make sure to explain it to the rest of the pack as well. Erica couldn’t stop laughing and Isaac scored him as if this were America’s Got Talent or some shit. And then he high-fived him. High. Fived. Him,” Laura sighed, a half-laugh hiding in her tone. “Honestly, Boyd’s been my only ally.”

Stiles couldn’t help but laugh at that, knowing full well how everyone was with the kids. “What was the score?”

“Not the point, Stiles,” she chided through the line, but then heard Isaac call out, “Eight out of ten!”

This time Derek laughed, taking the phone off speaker. “We’ll talk to them. All of them. Besides that, how are the kids?”

“Does she wanna bring them home?” Stiles interrupted. He was torn. As much as he loved alone time with Derek, he was always a little antsy when the kids weren’t there.

Derek smiled down at him but shook his head. “Alright. We’ll see you later then. And thanks again.”

He ended the call and placed the phone back on the nightstand. His fingertips left trails of fire as they ghosted over Stiles’s still-sensitive skin. Derek nipped lightly at Stiles’s earlobe, an affectionate gesture that drew forth a soft, contented hum from Stiles.

“They’re having a great time.” Derek’s voice rumbled hot against his skin, each word a soothing caress. “Laura’s got it all under control. We have the house to ourselves for the whole day.”

“Mmm… Sounds like heaven,” Stiles admitted, his voice going husky. He definitely wasn’t tired anymore as Derek ground against him. “God, that feels so good.”

“Yeah?” Derek murmured in response, tenderly kissing his neck. His breath was hot against Stiles’s skin, causing goosebumps to prickle.

“Always,” Stiles affirmed, dragging his hands down Derek’s back, his breath hitching as Derek shifted just right, sending waves of pleasure spiraling through his still-sensitized body. With a lazy smile, he murmured, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Derek echoed, his comforting presence wrapping around Stiles like a warm blanket. His fingers trailed over Stiles, exploring every curve and dip of his body.

Stiles surrendered to the intoxicating allure of Derek’s touch, content in this moment of stolen tranquility—leaving the phone call and related mishap with the kids to become an amusing memory that fell into the pile of their shared experiences. For now, it was just them, skin on skin and breath on breath.

***

FOUR

“How many pounds should we get?” Stiles called out while staring at the cooler filled with turkeys. It was their year to host Thanksgiving dinner, so he needed to make sure they’d have enough food to feed an army. Which was why they were now at the grocery store. “Actually, it’s more like, how many turkeys should we get?”

If he did the math, at one and a half pounds per person—who was he kidding, these were werewolves, they’d need at least double that—they would have to get at least eighty pounds worth of meat.

“Mom said she was making two,” Derek said, coming up behind him and kissing his shoulder. “One in the oven and the other in the Nesco. If we can find a couple that are at least twenty-five pounds, that should be good.”

Stiles nodded absentmindedly, still doing the math in his head. He was distantly aware of Derek talking to the kids and then Derek kissed his shoulder again, drawing his attention.

“Hmm?” He turned his head, looking at Derek quizzically. “What’s up?”

Derek jerked his head to the side, toward the kids. Eli was playing I Spy with Caleb while Clara was shifting from side to side, which meant—

“I’m going to take her to the bathroom,” Derek told him. Clara was only four; far too young to go by herself. “I’ll be right back.”

“Actually, I’ll take her,” Stiles said since he needed the bathroom, anyway. “Unless you needed to go.”

Derek shook his head and then held his hand out for the shopping list. “I’ll work on the list while you take her.”

Stiles handed it over before taking Clara’s hand and leading her toward the restroom. He was halfway there when his phone vibrated in his pocket. When he fished it out, Lydia’s name lit the screen. Juggling the phone and Clara’s hand, he managed to swipe the call to answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked, navigating the rest of the way to the restrooms.

Lydia huffed in a way that said she was having A Day™. “I just need to vent…”

“FYI, I’m taking Clara to the bathroom, but I’m listening,” Stiles told her before she launched into a rant about work. When they got to the front, the family restroom was closed for cleaning, so he nudged the men’s restroom door open with his shoulder and walked Clara inside, opening the door to the first free stall and gesturing for her to go.

While she was using the bathroom, he muted himself and used the urinal then washed and dried his hands, nodding along as Lydia complained about her latest project at work.

Soon, Clara was done, stepping up beside him and trying to reach the soap dispenser with a little ’oof’. Stiles hoisted her up so she could reach, pumping a dollop of soap into her small hands. The foam bubbles brought a grin to her face as she scrubbed her hands.

The restroom door opened, and an older gentleman walked in, quickly making his way into the far stall. It was quiet for a moment, except for the sound of running water as Clara rinsed her hands. And then there was the unmistakable sound of a loud fart as the man in the stall passed gas.

Stiles closed his eyes and braced himself, almost as if he knew what was about to happen before Clara even opened her mouth. And sure enough, half a second later, her little voice called out, “And what do we say when we toot?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Stiles pinched the bridge of his nose and opened his mouth to calmly remind her that this wasn’t home and the man was a stranger, but before he could even get a word out, the man sheepishly responded, “Excuse me. My apologies.”

Stiles barked out a laugh, even as he was mortified.

“I’m so sorry!” he called out, placing his hand on Clara’s shoulder, urging her out of the restroom with a quick, “Let’s go, honey.”

He pressed the button unmuting himself for Lydia again and said, “Oh my God, Lydia, I need to go, but I’ll call you back in a few.”

“Is everything okay?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine,” he reassured her quickly, before adding, “Just working on those…social boundaries still. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Lydia burst out laughing on the other end of the call. “Well, I cannot wait to hear this. Talk to you later.”

“Okay,” Stiles huffed a laugh. “Yeah, later.”

With that, he hung up, glancing down at Clara who was looking up at him with an innocent expression, as though she hadn’t just embarrassed a stranger in the restroom. The poor man had probably gone in there to pass gas in peace and wasn’t expecting to get chastised by a toddler.

“You’re not in trouble, but do you remember we talked about how to act around strangers, honey?” Stiles asked, smiling down at her.

Clara nodded her head seriously. “Mmhmm…but Daddy always says we should say ”scuse me’ when we toot.“

Stiles couldn’t hold back his laugh.

"Yes, he does, sweetheart, but it’s a little different when it’s strangers,” he explained, taking her hand. “At home, it’s always okay to remind us to use our manners because we’re family. But sometimes, strangers might feel embarrassed. How about we try not to point it out loudly next time, okay?”

“Okay…” Clara muttered, sounding a little unsure, but she gave him a shy smile and a nod.

Stiles glanced around as they walked down the aisle, looking for Derek and the boys. He spotted them in the freezer section by the frozen pies, where they seemed to be engaged in a deep discussion with them about which pies to choose.

He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped at the sight. “Yeah, we’re not buying frozen pie for Thanksgiving.”

“We’re just looking.” Derek looked relieved to see them. His gaze shifted from Stiles to Clara. “Everything okay?”

Stiles snorted, thinking about their little chat regarding social etiquette. “I’ll tell you about it at home.”

Right now, he just wanted to get the shopping trip over with and hope they didn’t run into the man from the restroom. Derek gave him a curious look but nodded. “Alright.”

He turned back to the boys who were now engaged in a mini-war over which pie was superior—Eli standing firmly on team Pumpkin Pie while Caleb rooted for Apple Pie.

Stiles and Clara joined them, Clara slipping from his grip to pull on Caleb’s shirt, forcing him to pay attention to her.

Derek slid his arm around Stiles’s waist, pulling him close. “Did you want to weigh in on the great Pie debate?”

Shaking his head, a smile played on Stiles’s lips as he watched his family, a laugh escaping his lips.

“I’ll take either, I don’t even really like pie,” he admitted, earning him a shared look of disbelief from Caleb and Eli.

“Never mind, no voting for Dad!” Eli shouted, arms flapping with the exaggerated indignation only a nine-year-old could muster, causing more laughter among the group.

“I like apple pie, like Caleb!” Clara declared, her eyes bright. Her support seemed to swerve the tide in Caleb’s favor.

Caleb flashed a triumphant grin at Eli, who grumpily crossed his arms, not accepting the defeat lightly. But the defeated look on his face didn’t last long as Clara ran up to him, pulling his arm to show him something she found interesting.

As Stiles watched his family, the restroom incident faded into the back of Stiles’s mind. Their chorus of laughter rang out in the quiet warehouse, creating a wholesome symphony he wouldn’t exchange for the world.

***

FIVE

“Should we just pick up dinner on the way home?” Stiles asked as they waited for the final bell to ring. They had the twins’ parent-teacher conference right after school and had gotten there fifteen minutes ago to park since the pickup line could be a nightmare. It was never really a line and people just parked wherever, taking up all the good parking spots. Or, even better, making their own spaces.

Derek hooked his chin over Stiles’s shoulder, holding him from behind. “That sounds good. What should we get?”

Before Stiles could respond, the bell rang.

Derek took his hand, tugging him gently as they walked through the mass of children exiting the building. They headed straight for the kindergarten classroom since Eli always went there anyway to pick up Caleb and Clara before walking out together. It didn’t surprise Stiles to find him already there when they arrived. His classroom might have been on the other side of the building in the fifth-grade hall, but Stiles had no doubt that he’d ignored any and all warnings from teachers about running in the halls as he raced to his siblings.

Sure, they fought and bickered like any other siblings, especially when either of the twins tried to claim his toys, but they were also protective and caring toward one another.

“I beat you!” Eli proclaimed when they walked in.

Stiles gave him a high five as Clara and Caleb ran over, first hugging Derek and then him.

“Why don’t you guys keep playing while we talk to your teacher, okay?” Derek said, gesturing to the blocks on the floor.

Stiles nodded. “Just remember that you’ll need to clean up whatever mess you make, okay?”

The twins nodded enthusiastically before dragging Eli to the mat and pulling him down to sit.

Their teacher, Ms. Bowen stood and gestured for them to sit at the small table next to her desk. “Thank you both for coming in. It’s good to see you again.”

Stiles looked at the child-sized chairs warily before slowly lowering himself onto one. Somehow he always forgot how comically small these seats were designed. Derek took the other chair, managing to make himself look at ease despite the comical mismatch between his large frame and the tiny furniture.

Ms. Bowen took the spot across from them and opened the folder that was in front of her. This might have been the first set of conferences for the school year, but Stiles knew the routine from Eli’s conferences over previous years. Ms. Bowen would detail Caleb and Clara’s academic progress, any classroom behavior concerns, and discuss their social interactions.

And she did.

Ms. Bowen began with Clara, noting her outstanding progress in reading for her age range and her gentle, nurturing dynamic during group tasks. Caleb’s remarkable math skills and enthusiastic class participation were recognized next. It was apparent that both of them were thriving, and flyaway comments about their mannerisms and childhood quirks made Stiles smile. Like Clara’s fondness for mismatched socks and Caleb’s conviction that capes made him run faster.

“Derek, Stiles,” Ms. Bowen began after finishing her report, “Do you have any particular areas of concern, or questions, regarding Clara and Caleb’s progress so far?”

Stiles looked at Derek, who was running a finger along his stubble in thought. He seemed about to speak when the kids burst into giggles on the floor, momentarily distracting them both.

“Nothing comes to mind right now. They’re doing so great, and we’re very proud of them.” Derek finally responded, his gaze shifting back to Ms. Bowen. “But if anything arises, we know you’re just a call away.”

Stiles nodded in agreement. The teachers here have always been forthcoming and supportive; it was comforting knowing their door was open for any potential concerns.

“Ms. Bowen, can I show them my drawing from yesterday?” Caleb bounced over with a bright smile on his face.

Clara tossed her blocks to the side and ran over right behind him. “I wanna show them mine too!”

“Of course.” Ms. Bowen chuckled, sliding the folder to Stiles and Derek as Caleb and Clara went to their desks. “Alright, this is for you to take h—oh my!”

Stiles followed her gaze, eyes widening when he saw the picture Caleb held up. On it were several—well, Stiles wasn’t exactly sure what they were supposed to be but the drawings sure looked like dicks. A variety of them and in all different sizes. He snorted, immediately covering it with a cough because while he could be immature at times, he knew it probably wasn’t appropriate right now.

Probably.

“Well, that's—” Derek reached out, taking the picture from Caleb and placing it on the table. He cleared his throat and Stiles could tell he was a little flustered—an odd sight to see on the usually stoic alpha werewolf. Then again, it wasn’t every day their kid shoved a drawing of dicks in his face.

Stiles broke the awkward silence, leaning forward, elbows on the table. “So, uh, what are we looking at here, kiddo?”

“It’s me!” Caleb proclaimed proudly.

Derek let out a strangled noise. Stiles, on the other hand, couldn’t hide his laughter.

“You drew yourself, huh?” he asked, fighting to keep his voice steady.

Caleb nodded proudly, his smile so wide it threatened to split his face. “Ms. Bowen said we could draw whatever we wanted. So I drawed myself!”

“Yourself?” Derek bit his lip as he apparently tried to reconcile that with the image on the page.

“Yeah! Look, that’s me when I was a baby. And then when I was one and two and three and four and five,” Caleb said, pointing at each of the strangely shaped figures. “Like I am now!”

Stiles looked at the drawing again and tried very hard not to laugh (again).

“Oh, I see it,” he said, managing to keep a semblance of a straight face. “Those are great drawings, kiddo.”

Clara was next, eagerly shoving her drawing towards them. It wasn’t any discernible shape or object. Instead, it was a burst of colorful scribbles and dots that filled the page to the brim.

“And I drew a rainbow!” she chirped, beaming at them. “Do you like it?”

“We love it,” Stiles assured, taking her picture and holding it next to Caleb’s. “Both of these will be going up on our fridge.”

The twins bounced in delight at the news, and Ms. Bowen wore an amused smile. The meeting soon ended, and they gave their goodbyes as Stiles gathered their drawings before walking out with Derek, Eli, and the twins.

On the way back to their car, Stiles couldn’t help but glance at Caleb’s comical depiction of himself, a chuckle escaping his lips.

Derek shook his head, letting out a good-natured sigh. “Honestly, only our kids could turn a parent-teacher conference into a comedy show.”

Stiles shot him a grin, wrapping an arm around his husband’s waist. “And that’s why we love them.”

As they reached the car, Stiles looked at the kids, their faces glowing with happiness and pride, and realized how perfectly ordinary this moment was—and how extraordinarily lucky he was to have this.

#sterek #sterek fanart #stiles stilinski #derek hale #eli hale #eli stilinski hale #original stilinski hale children #holy shit i wrote something #holy shit i made something

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