fresababy

[a-star-is-here]

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again:

Any art that’s mine, but isn’t tagging/crediting me is STOLEN.

If you want to use my art, please ask, and then I’ll reblog/comment on it, just to be sure.

I really can’t stress this enough.

My socials are:

Ig: @a.star.arts

Reddit: @a-star-is-here

Ao3: @a_star_is_here

Twitter: @a_star_arts

If you see my art stolen, please tell me.

[relativelydimensional]

I posted 3,498 times in 2022

That's 107 more posts than 2021!

55 posts created (2%)

3,443 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rythyme

@angrybi-king

@talesofwhalesandflowerpots

@sicklizardmeme

@frumpybutsupersmart

I tagged 2,187 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#bad buddy - 247 posts

#the untamed - 151 posts

#kinnporsche - 105 posts

#star trek tos - 71 posts

#not me - 62 posts

#untamed fanart - 52 posts

#our flag means death - 52 posts

#<3 - 43 posts

#spirk - 42 posts

#merthur - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i also fully believe that cql future timeline lwj would just stand there without saying anything until one of the juniors started crying lm

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi so i started the devil judge the other day and this is the sexiest gay gothic romance i've ever experienced

170 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#4

Hi I just have some thoughts about Bad Buddy, because I've kind of come to the realisation recently that it has –and I'm not exaggerating when I say this– changed me as a person.

I am an enemies to lovers hoe, or at least I thought I was one until I watched bad buddy. I feel like the central appeal to enemies to lovers is this idea that someone could see the worst parts of you and love you anyway, in spite of those flaws or maybe because of them. And I think bad buddy gets to the core of that want, which when you boil it down is a desire to be known.

Pat and Pran are set up like enemies, rival families and friends groups; forced to compete at school, in sports and music, even at......being uni students? Their relationship for most of their lives depends on them being the worst versions of themselves with each other. It's kind of the perfect set up for enemies to lovers. But where bad buddy differs is it isn't enemies to lovers, because patpran aren't enemies. They're best friends. Best friends to the point when even when they 'break up' Pran says THIS

and like that really fuckin sends me over the edge into unhinged territory gang?!?!? like even with every other aspect of their lives stacked up against them, the fact that they're friends is just a completely unshakable concept for them both!!!!!!

like they love each other sure but they also LIKE EACHOTHER im feral

P'Aof is really just a healing presence lmao like he was like 'hi oh you like enemies to lovers? you poor , thing, come closer i'll let you in on a secret, you can be truely known and loved and you're allowed that'

Literally since this encounter i have not known peace, i havent even breathed near the enermies to lovers tag on ao3 im ONLY reading friends to lovers or old married couple fics and its entirely this shows fault

232 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#3

that awkward moment when your dad barges into your sex dungeon to yell at you for not doing your chores properly 😞

387 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#2

Misfits (2010) / Umbrella Academy (2022)

482 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Porshay: how to do I write a song?

Kim: oh writing a song? Word. It's easy! You need to get..... Your brothers social security number...... And give it....... To me.

1,117 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[intermundia]

I can really recommend merlin, it's great show and especially the end is supreme. In the end even the writers shiped them. "and to be fair, we did very genuinely think of the episode as a love story between two men"

hey anon? you sent this back in january, and i was like "neat, noted, not right now," not anticipating that a few months later a mutual of mine would start flooding my dashboard with merthur gifsets, sealing my fate. i decided to see if there was any good fic, and it RUINED MY LIFE. literally. why is there so much?! why is it so good?! the last few months, i have read.... thousands.... of merlin fics on ao3. i have read all my bookmarks multiple times. millions and millions of words. i'm obsessed in a way that reminds me of early days obikin. there is just Something About It, that i haven't resolved in my mind. the tragedy is so perfect and so infuriating and so satisfying. merlin and arthur's dynamic is so complex and fascinating and i can see facets of myself on both sides of it. it drives me insane because it's not fixed and settled; i only started writing obikin because i felt like i came to understand them well enough to write my own, but merthur is still Unsolved to me. i can't escape because i don't yet Understand. @merthurianity is my sideblog where i've tried to channel this energy reblogging infinite pictures of their dumb faces. it's not helping lol doubtless it's actively interfering with my writing obikin. but yes thank you im suffering and i wouldn't give it up for anything

[gawayne]

was violently compelled to do this

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

GANG!!

I have FINALLY finished #39 part 2!! 

It’s 11k (😱) so I’ll be splitting it into part 2 and 3 instead of just part 2, and posting them separately (part two will be with you tomorrow (17/05/22) and part three will follow on after a few days). It’s all still in need of some serious editing, but it’ll be here before you know it!! Stick with me Gang!! I love you all so much!!!

[gayfirebender]

[impala-in-gotham]

Like some kind of gateway drug, I thought alright let’s check out Merlin. Cause I’ve already watched all of Sherlock and some of doctor who (stopped after tennant for the most part so maybe idk what ship is queerbaited there) What do I watch next??

Half way thru the show, a destiel post actually spoiled the ending for me BUT serves me right for waiting this long to watch it. If you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading. I’m not sure if it made watching the finale easier or harder.

So I just watched the finale… I cried of course. I felt a bit robbed. The entire journey to Avalon I was completely confused how “dragon” kept being mentioned but Merlin wasn’t like “hey i know one of those that always helps me” until it was too late. But I kinda feel like after surviving the tragedy that is Supernatural, any heartbreaking finale can’t touch that level of pain and frustration for me. There was zero reason to do that to gwaine btw. Them even going there made no sense. Bad writing there. I don’t understand why Merlin couldn’t use any magic to help. Even just to stop the bleeding or prolong his life. No sense. But I’m used to things not making sense, right?

Anyways, I liked the show a lot. Merlin is adorable when he smiles and I want to hug him. I don’t understand why there’s been some bizarre consensus of show writers to never give a happy ending. It’s fiction. We deal with enough sadness in reality, give us a break. I kinda understood why they ended Arthur’s story the way they did tho. But not so much Merlin’s.

[flickeringmigraine]

In case y’all hadn’t gathered I’m rewatching Merlin and there is not a single heterosexual interaction between him and Arthur

[whispers-into-the-void]

i majorly supremely really really really miss the s1 endings where at the end of each episode it's gaius and merlin sitting in their woody home and laughing over a simple homecooked meal and it's so domestic and pure i loved it sm it made me smile sm have you seen colin morgan's smile have you met a single person who hasn't melted at colin morgan's smile (me neither btw) 

AND THEN come s2 and they're ending episodes w gwen and arthur kissing like ??? first off all why arwen when you can have merthur( and why merthur when everyone can be aroace but let's discuss that later) and second of all ???? kiss ???? why kiss why not gaius and merlin laughing as they have some soup i'm here for colin morgan's smile not for allosexual bs at the end of EVERY. GODDAMN. EPISODE. like maybe show them laughing once? do they /have/ to kiss? bradley's laugh is so beautiful i'd adore listening to his laugh or even looking at his face like why kiss man

[arthurandhisswordbros]

“Three” Fics Tag Game

Rules: Recommend us 3 of YOUR fics: 1 that are “most popular” and 2 that are “hidden gems!“

Thank you for tagging me @spiritofcamelot, I’m very sorry I’m only seeing this now.

My most popular fic is without a doubt The Portrait which just passed 900 kudos the other day, which absolutely astounds me. It’s fun little canon au with a lot of pining merthur angst. It’s very near and dear to my heart because it was my first complete fic ever. 

As for hidden gems, the first isn’t super hidden because it was done for a fest, but You Have To Chase It is literally the best thing I’ve written so far in my own opinion. I’m so immensely proud of it that even with all of my usual insecurities as a writer, I will actually admit that this one is good lol. It’s a modern twitter au where immortal!merlin takes to twitter to complain about Arthur. And also, Arthur joins twitter. 

Second hidden gem, that is actually a hidden gem, is probably Avalon is Not a Lake which is a supremely angsty and short merlin-through-the-ages type-fic where instead of being immortal in the traditional sense, he has to die once every century, goes to Avalon, and then return to live out his life, over and over again. It has a happy ending though! 

Okay, I’m tagging: @fishoutofcamelot, @follow-your-fire, @merlioske, @sourdough-morbread, @fifty-5ty, and @sauraunderscore.

[earlgreyinpajamas]

merthur fic recs: crack

1. Merlin The Merking by tehfanglyfish

Arthur was a brave and dashing knight until his witch sister enchanted him into a merman. He did his best to adjust to undersea life, but things became far more complicated when he was named personal servant to Merlin, the incredibly charming (and incredibly hot) merking.

~~~

i cackled when i was reading this fic. it is so ridiculous and so funny, i love it.

2. Capes and Cornflowers by injeong

In which Arthur and Merlin do nothing to hide the fact that they are courting, and the entire castle finds out and reacts accordingly.

AKA Arthur gets given the if-you-hurt-Merlin-you-will-feel-our-wrath talk by several different people, Arthur and Merlin like giving each other gifts, and the entirety of Camelot ships Merthur.

~~~

slightly crackish at the start, but it evolves into very sweet fluff towards the end.

3. My Funny Valentine by schweet_heart

The day Arthur wakes up to find a dragon on his bedside table is memorable, to say the least. Mostly because it starts with the bed-hangings catching fire and ends with a half-naked foot chase through the castle corridors, in pursuit of a tiny winged beast about the size of his fist which nevertheless appears afflicted by a supremely persistent brand of pyromania. Or: strange and magical gifts keep turning up in Arthur's chambers, a week from Valentine's Day. This sort of thing tends to happen to him a lot, actually.

~~~

oh these fools. they’re so cute yet so stupid.

[iamcaledonia]

I'm writing a canon era merthur fic and I there is conflict. A battle. A skirmish. But I supremely do not want to write said battle. I just want to allude to the fact that there was, indeed, a fight.

The fic is from Arthur’s POV, and he's king. So. You can see where I might struggle.

Any suggestions on how I can boot scene a fight?

[eddiethehunted]

So I cannot believe you got me out here watching Merlin again in 2019 honestly i am LIVING. i forgot how much i love the show ugh. Can you recommend some of your favourite merthur fics??

:D YES i can actually because i’ve been absolutely destroying my sleep schedule reading merthur fics so i am IN MY PRIME. the time is NOW.

i’ve actually gotten a couple asks like this since i started reblogging merlin stuff again! so here’s a few! (i read a lot of sm*ut, i am so sorry. i tried to recommend a lot of fics that aren’t ns*fw too!) they’re all canon era/compliant because i don’t like au fics for this show.

i love all of these, but i put asterisks (*****) beside the ones that are my absolute faves :)

i’d also recommend checking out @merlinfic i just followed a few days ago but they have a lot of fics and a very extensive tags page!!

And Truth Shall Set You… Wait, Which Truth? by FandomLife54 | AO3 | G | 2.1K

Merlin is struck with a curse while he and the knights are out on patrol. He must confess his darkest secret or he will die. Arthur thinks he already knows what Merlin is gonna confess, trying to coax him into saying it, but what happens when what he’s expecting isn’t what comes out?

Or

“Damn it, Merlin, the witch said this curse would kill you if you didn’t confess! It’s one secret, just say it! I won’t care no matter how deep and dark it is, but I will care if my useless servant dies taking it to his grave!”

Rum and (No) Regret by arthur_pendragon | AO3 | G | 3.6K

In which Merlin is the silliest drunk and the exasperated king is tasked (by himself) to escort Merlin home.

My Funny Valentine by schweet_heart | AO3 | G | 5.3K

The day Arthur wakes up to find a dragon on his bedside table is memorable, to say the least. Mostly because it starts with the bed-hangings catching fire and ends with a half-naked foot chase through the castle corridors, in pursuit of a tiny winged beast about the size of his fist which nevertheless appears afflicted by a supremely persistent brand of pyromania.

Or: strange and magical gifts keep turning up in Arthur’s chambers, a week from Valentine’s Day. This sort of thing tends to happen to him a lot, actually.

A Smile is its Sword by Nahara | AO3 | T | 3.7K

Merlin thinks he’s being suave. Arthur thinks he’s being subtle. Both are failing.

That Time of Truth by hwc | AO3 | T | 10K

Prompt: Druids start to slowly come out of hiding, living their lives peacefully in the kingdom and even sending a diplomat or two to Camelot. After a close call or two, Merlin has to have a chat with them about not revealing Merlin’s identity. While no one ever does reveal Merlin is Emrys, a lot of people start to talk about Emrys in Camelot.

Fluttering by merthurkdramas_101 | AO3 | T | 11.9K

Original Prompt:

Five times Arthur finds himself inexplicably jealous and the one time he doesn’t have to be.

Or the one where Arthur doesn’t realize his feelings for Merlin until he sees a visiting noble flirting and treating Merlin right and Merlin getting flustered over it.

The Trouble With Courting by Thursday_Next | AO3 | T | 5.6K

None of his princely training in diplomacy seemed to cover what to do in cases where you can’t make your mind up to propose to the lady you are courting or what to do when your manservant is crossed in love and it’s inexplicably making you unhappy.

In which Arthur is oblivious, Merlin is lovesick, Gaius tries to help, Gwaine doesn’t, and there just might be a reason Arthur keeps putting off proposing to Gwen, if only he could figure out what it is…

*****Hit Them With a Shoe by themegaloo | LJ | PG-13 | 6K

For the prompt: Arthur/Merlin, Merlin loses (some) control of his magic, and to his dismay, his magic happily starts doing his chores for him. Bonus points for Arthur walking in to find Merlin frantically shouting at Arthur’s armour to stop cleaning itself (or some other task) and he is horribly appalled, but then starts to like all the little things Merlin’s magic does for him (e.g. tucking him in at night, cutting his meat for him, etc.). Basically, Merlin’s magic is as in love with Arthur as Merlin himself, while Merlin remains furious and in denial.

In A Yellow Wood by Shinybug | AO3 | M | 5.5K

It was a perfectly ordinary day, no more likely to be the day Arthur died than any other.

*****A Chance To Let Go by PlaneJane | AO3 | M | 11.5K

It all starts with that wretched hug … that isn’t a hug. From then on, it continues to nag at Arthur - Merlin’s over-familiarity and affection - until he realises that not only does he not mind, he craves it. When events conspire to temporarily keep Merlin and Arthur apart, Arthur resolves to reveal his feelings as soon as he has a chance. Only, an unexpected mishap threatens to change everything and in a split second Arthur has to decide whether to come through for Merlin, or whether to let him go.

Dawning by vensre | AO3 | M | 1.3K

From the kinkmeme prompt: Arthur/Merlin - drawn to each other in their sleep. For some reason they have to share a bed. They start out on their own side but by morning they always end up in each other’s arms.

*****Prince Arthur’s Flowerbed by melblue | AO3 | E | 17.1K

Arthur doesn’t like flowers, poetry, doves, or honeycakes, ergo he doesn’t like romance. Or does he?

*****So Are They All, All Honourable Men by seperis | AO3 | E | 18.1K

Considering Arthur’s future wife will be chosen less for compatibility than for her political value, Merlin may be the only marriage he’ll have that won’t end in bloodshed or a great deal of fortifying wine.

In Vino Veritas by bravenclawesome | AO3 | E | 5.9K

After that evening in the tavern, Arthur has not been able to look at his manservant the same way ever since.

My Place is With You by tehfanglyfish | AO3 | E | 15.6K

Not long after Arthur takes the throne, Merlin increasingly finds himself sharing a bed with the king. But it’s only to help Arthur deal with nighttime insecurities, right?

*****For the Love of Camelot by RocknVaughn | AO3 | E | 28.8K

Set in Late Series Four, but prior to 4x12/13.

When the newly crowned King Lot of Essetir comes to Camelot with the intention of making peace, Arthur and Merlin are hopeful that this is just one more step in their bid to peacefully unite all of Albion.

They couldn’t have been more wrong.

Soon, Merlin finds himself in a situation that will test the limits of what he would do and how far he would go…for the love of Camelot.

Winterbloom by Shinybug | AO3 | E | 6.2K

Deep in the woods in the frozen heart of winter, a careless comment leads to a redefinition of Arthur’s relationship with his manservant.

*****At Our Best When It’s From the Hips by derryere | AO3 | E | 12.7K

Merlin goes to a brothel to get rid of that virginity thing and runs into Arthur. From there on, it’s all madness.

Forward by myashke | LJ | R | 5.5K

When Arthur’s birthday falls on the first warm day of Spring, Arthur goads Merlin into celebrating with him.

Next Time, I Will Remember This And I Will Say ‘No’ (part 1) by paperclipbitch | LJ | PG-13 | 8.5K

(part two) | LJ | NC-17 | 12.7K

(part three) (direct continuation of part 2)

“Arthur wants you to pretend to be him so that he doesn’t have to get married to Princess Helena?”

[grandcollections]

by myashke

Summary:

When Arthur pushes Merlin away to protect him, what lengths will Merlin go to to remain in his life?

Comments:

I read this seven years ago. And although I couldn’t remember much about the fic, seeing the name struck a chord in me— so cliche, but it felt like an electric shock. Instant recognition. I remembered it was one of my favorite fics ever. I remembered images of freezing cold and bonfires, and lots of delicious hurt/comfort, probably the best you’ve ever read, my mind told me. And I remembered the tale centering around Merlin, on how much everyone loves him— I saw more images, snippets of the knights and Arthur trying to protect him— one of my favorite parts of the show and something I love to see in fics. 

Arthur laced his gloved fingers through Merlin’s bare ones and lifted them up to his lips. “They’re gone,” he said, lowering their hands to rest on his thigh again, hoping Merlin’s ice cold fingers would warm beneath his own.

Merlin took a deep, shuddering breath, his chest pressing tightly against Arthur’s back. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he whispered, squeezing Arthur’s hand.

“Yes.” Arthur looked down at their joined hands, wondering if it would always be like this, Merlin touching him, their attraction sparking and being smothered over and over under the weight of duty for as long as Merlin stood at his side.

I am so, so glad I decided to reread this now. I needed it. I took my time with it, watching the page count anxiously, not wanting it to ever end. 

To be able to read something like this is a gift. Truly. This fic is not only one of the best merthur fics I’ve read, but one of the best pieces of writing. 

TLDR: Merlin risks his neck to save Arthur without thinking, of course, nearly freezing to death afterwards. Along with the knights (who play a very active role), they revive him and nurse him back to health slowly. Merlin and Arthur’s feelings come to the surface, along with plenty of angst and big sacrificial energy from both boys. Featuring: hurt/comfort, magic reveal, angst (so much angst) the best characterization of every character, Ealdor shenanigans, wonderful smut and delicious sexual tension, the whole gang of knights and a smattering of mergwaine. And my goddamn favorite thing, the best way I’ve ever seen it: Arthur recognizing everything Merlin has done and truly, truly valuing him.

the rest of my long-ass review below the cut lol!

Everything I said in my first review holds true. It’s beautiful and heart-wrenching. It’s pure, sickening hurt/comfort— if that’s your jam (and it sure is mine), oh boy you’ll be in heaven. It’s full of tenderness— the way Arthur, Gwaine, and Lancelot care for Merlin, the depth of Merlin’s feelings for Arthur, the supremely physical nature of this fic— the first half is a mess of tender touches and skin-to-skin, bodies trying save Merlin’s, described in excruciating detail. 

"It’s just me,” Arthur whispered, brushing his hair back from his forehead, his hand slowly rubbing down Merlin’s neck and back, fingers ghosting along his spine, settling finally on his hip. 

Arthur held him tightly in place. He brushed slowly, gently back through Merlin’s hair, whispering in his ear, soothing him. “Shh, it’s alright, Merlin. I’m right here. You’re safe. Sleep now... you’ll feel better in the morning... I promise I’ll be right here...” 

This is the stuff of hurt/comfort *dreams*. It’s achingly tender and beautiful and full of angst as Merlin stays near death, ice cold, goes through fever, and says and does things as his mind isn’t fully presence in his fever-addled state.

Arthur whispered prayers to God Almighty, to the Gods of the Old Religion, to Merlin himself. Be alive. Be alive. 

He’d give up his right to the throne for a blood curdling cry from Merlin right now.

Arthur spends so much of this part of the fic panicking over Merlin, desperate for him to be alright. (One of my favorite merthur tropes)

“Trust me, he’ll thank you for it tomorrow.”

“Gods allow he has breath to thank me with tomorrow,” Arthur whispered, shaking his head as his own words stabbed into his chest. He lowered his cheek to Merlin’s again, whispering,” Gods allow he has breath to rant and rave, if he wants.” 

I really love the characterization of everyone in this fic, but I want to focus on Arthur. The entire time I was reading I believed it was him, I believed I was reading about Uther’s-son-the-prince-of-Camelot, First Knight, all of it. I felt his burdens and his pain, the weight of the heavy choices (and one specific heavy choice, the main plot of this fic I suppose) he made. 

Arthur pressed Merlin harder against the tree and he opened his eyes, gasping.

“I’m choosing Camelot over you, Merlin. An entire kingdom’s welfare. My bloodline’s future. My gods-damned destiny. And yours, if you stand by me.”

This sort of realism may not be every shipper’s cup of tea, but god is it mine. Because it doesn’t lessen Arthur’s love, need, longing for Merlin. It just incorporates the rest of Arthur into that, alongside it. And produces so much goddamn pain.

Arthur is not always gentle, he is possessive and jealous, but always quick to bury those feelings— unless he can lash out with his authority at his back. And if he does that, he apologizes.. sometimes. If he regains control quickly enough. If it’s one of the knights. (Not always if it’s Merlin). He misunderstands things often and is quick to believe the worst. But he never fails where it’s important— he tries, and that’s key. But he can be intuitive, too— I love how the magic reveal is handled, how it marinates in his mind for a while. How he knows before the reader even knows he knows, and long before anyone else does. It’s a credit done to Arthur we don’t see often— sometimes he reacts badly, or is shocked above all else.

“I thought you’d want rid of me,” Merlin said... “Someone who lied about who I really am.”

“Who? Oh, you mean the Merlin that is actually brave, intelligent, and loyal to the death?” he heard, low and close to his ear. “I’ve known him for a while, too.”

This is JUST.... everything I’ve ever wanted. The way Arthur values Merlin and sees everything he’s done post-magic reveal is one of the primary reasons I love this fic so much, as I’ve said, and I’ll talk about it more later. But another result of the magic reveal is Arthur becoming so protective of Merlin once he does realize. It’s the backbone of this fic.

Merlin grinned as everyone laughed, the light in his eyes a gift Arthur wouldn’t soon forget. 

He would have to extinguish it, he knew, but he wouldn’t ever forget what Merlin had looked like in that moment, so entirely at peace with himself and everyone around him....

Pressing his leg harder against Merlin’s, Arthur clenched his jaw on the scream of frustration that welled in his chest. 

^ this is Arthur’s reaction as he watches Merlin practice magic, glowing and happy and powerful and whole, because he is afraid that magic is the reason Merlin will die. 

Had Merlin watched the executions and thought of himself tied to that post? Had he thought he would be able to escape before the fires were lit beneath him?

The very image of Merlin bound there made Arthur’s stomach curl into a tight knot.

The way Arthur would doom himself to be the villain, to deny himself happiness and even SAFETY— because now he knows he’s only lived this long because of Merlin— to protect Merlin, to prolong his life. 

Merlin backed away as Arthur stepped forward again, reaching out to him. He didn’t know how to do this, to push Merlin away when his body felt half-empty with the desire to touch him.

The way he uses his authority as prince and what he is to Merlin to ensure it. (The way Merlin refuses to comply.) I love it so much.

Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reigning in his anger. “You’re right. I would defy my father and my king to protect you... but it wouldn’t be enough.... it makes me ill to think of how close you’ve come to the pyre.”

“I don’t care. I belong in Camelot, even if I end up a pile of ash.” 

excuse me while I scream

“I have my company of knights to protect me.”

“They follow you, they don’t protect you,” Merlin whispered, letting go of Arthur’s arms and worrying the edge of his tunic, then looking into Arthur’s eyes, pleading. “Please don’t ask this of me.” 

He’d expected a fight, defiance, but not this, not what amounted to begging.

DELICIOUS. ANGST. Arthur’s protectiveness coupled with Merlin’s stubbornness means we get a whole lot of angst and longing. They have to stay away from each other, but they can’t. 

“I should never have let you,” Arthur whispered, shaking his head, “You’re enough of a distraction as it is.” 

As they stared at one another, Merlin felt as if something irrevocable was slipping between them. “Arthur, I--”

“Enough,” he breathed, the word a plea more than a command. “We cannot-- I’m not free to--” Arthur sighed, brushing his thumb across Merlin’s lops, shaking his head. “This cannot happen again. Do you understand?” 

... “Yes, sire.” Merlin pushed at Arthur’s arm, unwilling to wait for Arthur to let go, unable to lie there, so close, touching, when Arthur was already through with him.

.. Like a bucket of cold water, Arthur’s words had shocked him back into reality, holding up in front of him what he’d tried so hard to forget. 

He was a servant, and he would obey.  

excuse me?? do you see why you have to go read this fic right NOW, do you SEE?!!

“I knew. I knew and it still feels like I’m splitting open,” Merlin whispered.

ugh.

If anyone else had put that look on Merlin’s face, Arthur would have laid them out flat.  

ughHH

“Your life is worth more than this,” Arthur said, smoothing the pad of his thumb across Merlin’s kiss-reddened lips...

Arthur clenched his fists and stared after him, desperate to follow. They couldn’t keep tearing each other to shreds like this. Something had to give.

God this fic is full of GOD-TIER PAIN. It’s genuinely baffling. amazing. groundbreaking, never been done before!!!!

And now I must, I must, discuss the clowning glory of this fic. The thing I wanted most from the show, that pained me the most when I was denied, that frustrated me most about the ending. Arthur seeing Merlin as the hero he is, the powerful sorcerer who did so much for Arthur, Arthur’s family, Arthur’s kingdom. But more than that. Arthur seeing and valuing Merlin, the man. Gaius, Hunith, Gwaine, Lancelot, the knights— they don’t value Merlin because of his magic, or because what he has done or can do for them. It isn’t gratitude they feel. It’s love. And it’s the same for Arthur, here. And I can’t tell you how dear that is to me. How lovely it is to read. 

And despite knowing him so well, Merlin had believed in his ability to become a better man from the beginning. Arthur wasn’t blind; he could see that Merlin had reshaped his attitudes over the years, had taught him to think for himself instead of blindly following his father’s example. He learned from Merlin to see beyond pride and the nobility, to be a servant to the people instead of ruling them as his father did. 

From the very first moment they’d met, Merlin had encouraged him in gentlest, surest way to seek out the right thing and do it, say it, help it to happen if he could.

again:

Merlin listened even when Arthur couldn’t say a word. Especially then, in fact.

and again:

“I’ve never know someone like him. He’s so... selfless. How many times has he saved us without our knowing? He never asks for reward or recognition. He’s a servant when he could-- he could do anything. Does he not want anything for himself?”

Gwaine chuckled softly. “He wants one thing with all of his being, but you and I both know he would never presume to ask for it.”  

and again:

Being alone with him was Arthur’s escape, his sanctuary, no matter where they were.

and again: 

“This isn’t negotiable,” he whispered, stepping closer, wanting to comfort Merlin but knowing it would neither be welcome nor fair, given what he was ordering. “You shouldn’t be a servant, Merlin. You shouldn’t have to give up your gift and you shouldn’t waste it on a kingdom that would murder you for it.”

There, he’d said it. Camelot wasn’t worthy of Merlin.

I can’t even react to that line— it’s too wonderful. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted from Arthur. and oh, Merlin returns the favor tenfold. Arthur is Merlin’s existence. 

“Please, Arthur,” he begged, his voice barely above a whisper. “Please don’t do this.”

Hands sliding up to either side of Merlin’s neck, Arthur leaned closer, not quite daring to press their foreheads together. “I won’t watch you die.”

“Then close your eyes, but let me... stay with you.”

One of the most GORGEOUS, pain filled lines I’ve ever read!!! The way Merlin swallows his pain over and over again and does what’s best for Arthur is so hard to read but so Merlin. But I do love how this fic balances all that classic devotion and sacrificial energy with a few instances of Merlin taking a stand, standing up for himself and being selfish, without sacrificing the integrity of the character. 

Now, let’s talk about mergwaine. Because it’s definitely a side-ship in this fic and I have NO problem with it!!! It’s so well done, and only adds another layer of pain. First of all, Gwaine is just perfect in this fic— shameless, cheeky, all-about-Merlin. A good friend to both Merlin and Arthur— and I loved every time he called Arthur out on Merlin’s behalf, while also saying nothing but good and reassuring things about Arthur to Merlin— but he shines in his scenes with Merlin. His presence allows Merlin to show his pain, something he desperately needs as he can’t always do it with Arthur. I love this depiction of them; a close friendship, one Merlin feels completely comfortable in and full of trust and safety, one that could be something else, but. But. As Gwaine himself puts it, he’s not Arthur. That doesn’t take away from the extreme tenderness he displays with Merlin. It’s truly touching. 

Emotions stripped too raw to accept either without the tears starting again, Merlin closed his eyes and pleaded softly. “Don’t let go of me.” 

“Never,” Gwaine swore. He laid his forehead against Merlin’s inhaling deeply before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “Sleep, my friend.” 

and:

“Arthur is hurting too, and he is alone.”

“And I have you,” Merlin whispered, tears threatening to spill from his over-full eyes. “I always have you and he always had me.” 

and:

Gwaine kissed his shoulder and hair, arms tightening around his chest. “You deserve him, Merlin. Don’t ever believe that you don’t,” he whispered, drawing out the tears that Merlin had been desperately holding back.

and, for a bit of levity:

“But we’re all better off with me clothed,” Merlin said 

Gwaine shook his head disbelievingly. “You really have no idea how handsome you are, do you?... Ah, well, it’s probably for the best. You’d be impossible to live with if you did know.” 

There’s so many more wonderful parts of this fic. Arthur and Hunith’s lovely, heartbreaking scene (I was thoroughly crying throughout). Arthur’s loneliness upon return to Camelot. The incredible explicit scenes between Merlin and Arthur. But just do yourself a favor and read it. We’re so lucky to have it. 

[ao3feed-merlinarthur]

by Fwufferson

Merlin and Arthur take a trip into town and some new information is brought to light about Merlin.

Words: 1051, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Merlin (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Additional Tags: set in The Once and Future Queen only not with Gwen, its gay, Merthur reigns supreme here folks sorry, i mean i guess its technically not outright stated, but it is strongly implied, Like, very strongly, kinda steals For the Dancing and the Dreaming from How To Train Your Dragon 2, but in my defense, its a good song, unedited, or even reread, also Merlin can sing, there's technically a siren au thingy that's in here but im not gonna get into that, just know hes great at it, this is very unprofessional, but fuck it, if you're on AO3 you're not looking for professional are you

[lao-pendragon]

Hi!! I just think your blog is really awesome and it's the only thing giving me my merthur fix lol. Your art is also supremely beautiful! Anyways thank you for existing and I hope you have a magical day!!

I’m so glad whenever I hear people enjoy my blog :D thank you so much for your message, my Dear, I wish you a wonderful day aswell ❤️