#missing it anyway. remember when i bought tickets to the concert and i was worried I'd miss something big on d ynamite that day😔

[thegoldenelite]

I'm missing dynamite tonight. I'm going to a concert with some friends. Bye👋🥰

[rjhpandapaws]

Canon hankcon, "birthday" for the prompt, and that's all I'm giving you lmao. Whose birthday? Party or no acknowledgement? Homemade cake with haphazard candles or storebought fancy pants cake? How many birthday kisses from Sumo? I dunno you tell me.

//:3

It wasn’t any particular news that Hank didn’t enjoy his birthday much anymore. It might have been the grief but he had a hard time remembering a time before Cole when he did. It was old news to everyone it seemed except Connor who was waiting by his desk the morning of with a box in his hands. “Connor, what is that?” He asked as he moved to sit at his desk. “It’s a birthday present Hank.” Connor set the small box on his desk, “Isn’t it a human custom to celebrate them?” Hank bit off the annoyed sigh and reminded himself that Connor didn’t know better, “Most people do. When you’re young making it another year is kind of a big deal, but when you get to my age its just a reminder of how many opportunities you’ve missed.” Connor fell onto red for a moment and Hank regretted his words, “Do you want me to take it back?” His LED flickered as he did something in that head of his. “No.” Hank shook his head, “I appreciate it Connor, it was just a surprise. I’m not used to people caring after I spent years asking them not to.” Connor narrowed his eyes as he moved to sit as his desk, “I know now, so it won’t happen again.” This time Hank sighed, “Connor, its okay, I promise.” Connor still didn’t believe him from the looks of it, and Hank hated that he was right. He knew Connor meant well, but they were dancing around an unknown something and every time Connor would do something like this it reminded Hank that the android could do so much better. When he finally climbed out of his own head Hank noticed Connor had gotten to work. His LED was yellow which meant he was thinking about something too, but Hank didn’t have the nerve to ask. He looked down at the small precisely wrapped box and what it was that Connor had decided was worth getting him.

He opened the box as quietly as he could, he didn’t want to pull Connor out of his focus, the brunette hated that. The last thing he expected was concert tickets, they were rested on top of a neatly folded t-shirt. The tickets were for a holographic performance by Frank Sinatra. He set them aside and took out the t-shirt and found it was a signed Knight of The Black Death shirt, it was from one of their older tours and had only been up for bid. He didn’t know how Connor had found it or how much he had paid for it but he knew neither of them had been cheap. “Connor.” He said firmly. Connor came back to himself and tilted his head in question, “You know birthday gifts are supposed to be simple right?” “Yes.” Connor responded, “But they are also supposed to be something you enjoy, and I figured that this would have been better than simple. Jazz is something I know you enjoy, I would have done Knights of The Black Death but they aren’t currently touring.” “So you bought two tickets to one of the best jazz clubs in Detroit and won a bit on an auction only shirt.” Hank remarked. “Yes, I figured you could take a friend with you.” Connor continued, “I figured you would have more fun that way, the shirt took a while to get, but that’s the perk of not needing sleep.” Hank bit back a groan and found himself smiling nonetheless. He didn’t deserve this kind of effort and certainly not from Connor. Not to mention that Connor had seemed to greatly over estimate the number of friends he had. Other than Connor and possibly Jeff he really didn’t know who would want join him. According to the date on the tickets he had until that evening to decide.

He tucked the tickets back into the box and did what he could to focus on his work. His mind kept tracking back to how much thought Connor had put into this, some stupid day of the year to commemorate the mistake that was his life. That Connor had found their friendship for lack of a better word worth burning a few paychecks on. It baffled him. On some level he understood that not many people viewed him in the same light he viewed himself, but the fact that Connor of all people saw him as worth this much effort never failed to knock him off kilter. The day was thankfully slow, his head wasn’t in the right place for case work as it was, he wouldn’t have been able to handle a live one. He was pulled back to attention when Connor began to pack up his things for the day. Hank still needed to talk to him about the jazz club. God, how long had it been since he had asked someone on a date? Could this really even be considered a date if Connor was the one that bought the tickets? “Your vitals say you are distressed Hank. Is there something I can do to help?” Connor was standing with his blazer over his arm, it was a charcoal grey number he had picked out to replace the branded one. “Ah no. I was just thinking too much.” He said, here went nothing he supposed, “Would you like to go with me tonight? To the jazz club?” He didn’t miss the small smile that flashed across Connor’s features before he replied, “I would love too.” Hank nodded as relief crashed over him, “Think you could be ready by eight thirty?” “Of course.” Connor agreed, “I’ll see you then Hank.” He gave a polite wave before he turned to leave. Hank was grinning at his monitor like a damn fool.

He got home with just around two hours to get ready and realized he had nothing to wear that would hold a candle to how Connor would probably wind up looking. He dressed sharply despite being a plain clothes detective so it was certain he would be dressed to the nines for this too. He dug through his closet like a damn teenager looking for something that would fit and look nice. He needed to shower as well but that could wait until after he found something to wear that would be presentable. He decided on black jeans at the very least because he couldn’t be paid to wear slacks even for a maybe date. Then it was on to looking for a shirt which took longer than he would have liked. He eventually settled for a dark teal button down that he didn’t remember ever buying but was thankful to have nonetheless. The shower came next since he did have time, and after that it was just a matter of getting himself to look presentable. He shaved figuring it was time the beard went anyway and then tied his hair back in a half ponytail to keep it out of his face. He debated his glasses for a long moment before he put them on, he technically needed them all the time but he only used them at home to give his eyes a break. Satisfied with the way he looked, he fed Sumo, grabbed his leather jacket, and headed for the car. If he was lucky he would only be a little late to pick up Connor. Hank was not in anyway ready for the way Connor was dressed. He had changed his hair to loose curls and an undercut. He was in a maroon button down under a grey suit vest with black slacks. He was absent of a tie and the first couple buttons of the shirt were undone, and he looked nervous. When he saw Hank his LED rolled yellow and blinked a few times and Hank could have sworn it was red for one of them, but just as quick as it happened it was back to blue. His smile was back in place as he walked to the car.

“You clean up nicely Hank.” Connor said with what Hank was going to take a as a friendly smile because if he looked too much into how Connor had looked at him he was going to combust, “The glasses are a nice touch.” Hank let out a dry laugh, “Only you would find not being able to see attractive.” Connor let out a sound that was distinctly inhuman but still very clearly flustered, “I didn’t- that’s not- its-” He sighed, “That’s not to say that I don’t find you attractive normally.” There was a long stretch of silence after that then Connor seemed to realize what he had said and his LED strobed red. The car was alight with his very clear distress, “Could we maybe pretend that I didn’t just say that.” Hank chuckled lightly, “Of course. It will be just like it never happened.” Of course Hank planned to keep the memory for himself. It confirmed that he hadn’t been imagining whatever this unspoken thing was between them. It was unfortunate that it seemed that for now it would stay unspoken. At least he knew glasses at the very least were the key to getting under Connor’s skin. Maybe he could wear them to the station every once in a while. “For what it’s worth Con, you clean up pretty nice as well.” Hank remarked earning another smile from Connor. “I was worried I might be over dressed.” Connor admitted, “I’ve never been to one of these places before so I wasn’t sure what the dress code was.” Hank shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot, “You look just fine, I promise. If anything, I might be a little underdressed.”

“I think you look nice.” Connor said almost under his breath. Hank didn’t know if it was meant for him to hear, but he responded anyway, “Thanks.” He doesn’t get anymore response than Connor’s index finger cutting into his line of sight, “There’s a parking space four spaces up and to the left.” Hank hummed his acknowledgement and pulled into the space once they got to it. He checked to be sure he had the tickets and then got out. Connor followed suit. They were close enough to bump shoulders as they walked to the doors and Hank couldn’t stop the smile on his lips even if he had been paid. It might not have been a date officially, but that didn’t stop it from feeling like it. There was just something in the air that made it feel that way. After they were admitted Connor took his hand and lead him to a corner table with a clear view of the stage. They were early, there was still about twenty minutes before the opening act so the good tables were almost full. Like the parking space Hank chalked it up to Connor’s keen observation, he always was a few steps ahead of Hank it seemed. “Is this alright?” Connor asked his voice was void of its usual confidence. “Its perfect Connor.” Hank reassured, “There’s nothing to be worried about.” “You seemed upset with this idea earlier.” Connor said without looking at him. He was turned in a way that Hank couldn’t see his LED, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” “Hey.” Hank said sharply which caused Connor to look at him and like Hank had suspected his LED was on red, “I was just surprised. Its been... quite a while since someone had put that much thought into a gift. I love it Connor, and if I’m honest I’m still trying to convince myself that this all is real.”

Connor’s LED flickered and Hank knew he was being scanned. Under any other circumstance he would have found it frustrating but he got the feeling Connor was just as out of his depth as Hank was. He needed to know that Hank was being honest and Hank could give him that much. He apparently found what he was looking for because he smiled. “Then I suppose its a good thing I did.” Connor said after a moment, “Someone has to remind you that you matter.” Hank let out a dry laugh, “Damn Connor, usually you buy a man a drink before you get to the sweet talking.” It was a deflection and a poor one at that if the way Connor narrowed his eyes was anything to go by, “Hank.” “Right, no self deprecating comments.” Hank grumbled, “Do they even have android friendly drinks here. I probably should have thought about that sooner.” “They do, don’t worry.” Connor informed, “But even then, tonight isn’t about me.” Hank’s response was cut off by Connor narrowing his eyes once again, “How about we order a couple of drinks before the show starts.” Connor smiled, “That sounds nice.” Hank took his jacket off and rested it on the table to mark it as taken. Connor stood as well and they headed to the bar together. They were bumping shoulders again and Hank was tempted to take his hand again, but he didn’t. When Connor had taken his hand it was so they wouldn’t get separated by the crowd had settled down for the most part in anticipation for the show. Connor stepped up to the bar to order, “Could we get an Old Fashioned and a Thirium Sunset please?”

Hank wasn’t nearly as surprised that Connor knew what he liked to drink as he was at the fact that he had ordered an alcoholic drink for himself, or at least the android equivalent. The bartender seemed surprised as well but got to work on both drinks. “I didn’t know you drank.” Hank found himself saying. “I don’t usually.” Connor admitted, “But its not very gentlemanly to let your date drink alone.” Hank blue screened at that, he was relatively certain Connor meant it as a turn of phrase but he still hung on the word. Connor was smiling, he seemed glad to catch Hank off guard. The night after that passed in a haze of good music and better and conversation. Hank still had to drive so he stopped after two drinks, but the more Connor had the closer he moved and by the end of the night Connor’s usual perception of personal space was little more than a myth. Hank found he didn’t mind. When it came time to leave Connor’s balance was off so Hank put on of his arms over his shoulder and half packed Connor out of the jazz club. Connor tried his best to walk so it wasn’t as much dragging him as he thought it would be. “You have like, really pretty eyes.” Connor said out of the blue when they were nearly to the car, “They are very expressive.” Hank laughed, “Thank you Con.” He found himself wondering if androids could suffer from hangovers but he found himself sympathetic just in case. He got Connor in the car and belted in which wasn’t all that much of a feat, it seemed the cold air had helped him recover some. He was quiet on the way home, and if it weren’t for the fact that his eyes were roaming around the car Hank would have believed him to be in stasis.

“I think I’m back to normal now.” Connor said as Hank pulled into his complex, “Sorry about that.” Hank just chuckled, “Everyone gets that way when they find a drink they like. On top of that I’m pretty sure its your first time drinking. Getting like that is basically a right of passage.” “I could have at least picked a day other than your birthday to get like this.” Connor sighed as he looked down. Hank found a place to park and reached out to ruffle Connor’s hair, “It was nice to see you let loose for once. Tonight was nice.” Connor smiled, “I’m glad then.” If Hank were to be asked about this, he planned to blame it on his drinks, even if he and Connor both knew it was a lie. It was an out both of them could take if they decided this was a mistake, but it wasn’t enough to stop him from leaning in. The kiss he gave Connor was chaste and not much more than a brush of lips. The one Connor chased it with was the exact opposite and Hank found himself breathless when Connor pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow Lieutenant.” He said with a wink as he got out, “Happy Birthday.” Hank watched him walk into the building still waiting for his brain to come back online. Of all the ways he expected tonight to end, this was not one of them. Happy Birthday indeed.

@irrelevantbutfabulous

(Prompt from this list)

[morkleemelon]

Jet Lag✈️

1) you and Mark are both idols and you're on video call from different countries and you miss each other. You surprise Mark secretly visiting Korea and you then surprise him in his room and you guys cuddle and stuff ^~^

@smolninja thank you for your request! I hope it’s everything you wanted! I’m sorry for the delay, I had so many issues with Tumblr and accidentally deleted it when I was like 70% done it was so sad. Nonetheless, I really liked writing it! Enjoy :)

Warnings: mild swearing

Word Count: 3k

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Fem Idol!reader x Mark Lee

The set up: you’re in a 7 member kpop group called Girl Trouble and you’ve just finished the first concert of your Japanese tour. We’re pretending corona doesn’t exist :) The general public does not know that you are dating Mark Lee

-----

You feel the van come to a stop as flashing lights bloom from outside the tinted windows, waking you from your much needed sleep.

“We’re at the hotel y/n,” your bandmate, Yeeun, informs, fixing her hair in her phone camera to make sure she was ready to be photographed.

The excited cheers coming from the street bring you out of your sleepy stupor and you stretch your arms above you in a big yawn.

“How do I look?” you ask Nayoo, your best friend in the group who’s sitting next to you, touching up her concealer.

“Perfect as always y/n, duh,” she replied, playfully winking as she put her stuff away.

“Ok I’m opening the door!” you warn as you grab the handle and take a deep breath, putting on your best smile.

Swinging the door open, you’re met with an uproar of fans calling out your name and a storm of camera flashes eager to capture your latest look. It was your group’s first time in Japan so the fans were especially excited to finally have the chance to see you.

*Click click click click*

You stepped out of the car as gracefully as you could, smile never faltering as you showed off your pearly white teeth and prize-winning dimples. Brushing your hair back slightly as you walk, you tease your new gold earrings as a subtle endorsement to the brand. Your members following suit, you wave to the crowd and make your way to the entrance, nodding at a few fansites you recognized.

- - -

Throwing yourself onto the bed, your freshly showered hair promptly soaks through the comforter but you couldn’t care less.

“Ugh...,” you sighed, melting into the plush goodness of the hotel mattress, “I’m so goddamn tired.”

If only he were here with you...

“Oh!” you gasp, head shooting up from your now wet pillow, “I promised I’d call!”. You rolled off the bed and scrambled to find your phone in your bag, suddenly wide awake.

“You’re calling loverrr boyyyy?” Nayoo teased, dragging out the letters because she knew how much you hated it.

“Stopppp!” you whined, throwing your soggy pillow at her and trying to hide the growing blush on your cheeks.

Frantically unlocking your phone, you scroll through your contacts to find your boyfriend, heart racing with anticipation. It’s been a few weeks since you’ve seen Mark and you know it’ll be a few more until you have the chance. You promised each other to call whenever you could, but with NCT dream having a new comeback and Girl Trouble was starting to be really popular, there was only so much you could do. On top of that, it was stressful trying to keep your relationship a secret with all of the prying eyes around you and Mark’s intense fan base. Nevertheless, you’ve been going strong for about 8 months now you know that everything, every struggle, is worth it because of how much you truly love him.

Calling: Baby💕💋🦁...

You don’t bother to fix your makeup-less face and frizzy hair because you know that he’ll say you’re beautiful.

You smile at the thought of him as the FaceTime chimes ring.

*whoom*

“Marky!” you whisper cry, heart racing with excitement as you see his face for the first time in days.

“Baby!” Mark squeals back in the same tone, losing himself to giggles as you both giddily recover from the excitement of getting to see each other. You can hear the sound of voices mocking him in the background and Chenle’s piercing scream cuts through the audio.

“How have you been, baby?” you ask adoringly, ignoring the dreamies and look longingly at the boy in round glasses and his favorite grey hoodie.

“Shut up guys! I’m trying to talk to y/n!” he yells back at them, met with only more mocking and screaming. Sighing and giving up, he turns back to the camera, “Ah you know, I’ve been alright. We’ve been pretty busy with practice. I’m actually at practice right now if you can’t tell”. He pans the camera to the other members of dream who are clearly only taking a break because Mark made them stop for this phone call.

Guilt grips at you as you realize how you were probably inconveniencing them. After all, it was getting late and they all have to stay even later now because of you.

“Oh... if now’s not a good time we can always try tomorrow,” you offer, smiling slightly but not enough to hide your disappointment and guilt.

“Aw baby I’m sorry,” Mark soothes, “don’t worry about us I didn’t mean it like that. I missed you so much and these guys can spare a few minutes it’s fine”.

“I wish you were here, Mark. Or I was there,” you whisper, lying down on your bed once again. Placing your phone in front of you, it’s almost, almost, as if he were there lying with you.

Mark wears a pensive expression as he looks down, using his free hand to fiddle with his hoodie strings.

“Yeah. Me too”.

His voice is strained as he thinks about the nights you’ve snuck out together and the secret dates you shared. He misses the way you feel in his arms and the way your soft hair felt when it tickled him awake in the morning. He misses your terrible dad jokes and your night cooking. It was really frustrating how you were both so young and so in love, but everything else in life had to get in the way. Mark really missed you.

You reach out instinctively to stroke his hair but instead of comforting the boy you loved, your hands are met with only the cold surface of your screen.

The two of you talked for a few more minutes, trying to make the most of the time before he had to go. You could tell by the way his voice strained that he was really exhausted.

When he finally hung up, you couldn’t shake the empty feeling off; not being next to him, being able to touch him, to comfort him, to be with him was the worst feeling in the world.

And before you could stop yourself, warm tears began to fall as your shoulders shook with your heartbroken sobs. Video calls were supposed to make you miss each other less, not more. You loved him so much that you’d miss him even if he was right there with you. Being apart was devastating.

“Oh, honey…,” Nayoo coos, crawling into your bed to give you a much needed hug, “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Let it out”.

Wrapping your arms around your best friend, you let the tears fall onto your already soaked pillow and spilling out the feelings you’ve kept buried inside for so long. 

“I just miss him so much,” you gasp, squeezing your fists around the fabric of Nayoo’s sweatshirt. 

“Oh I know y/n, I know,” she comforted, “remember back when we were trainees and you just started dating Mark? And I was always there to distract Manager Kim when you snuck out to meet him?”.

You let out a small laugh at her attempt to lighten the mood. Nayoo was truly a good friend and she always had your back. You were really lucky to have her in your life.

“I do, Nayoo. I never thanked you enough for that”

“You know I love you. I’d do it again now if you wanted to sneak out and meet him. Actually I bet you could pull it off since our next show isn’t for another 4 days”

“Wait…”

Both of you sat up at the same time, looking at each other with wide eyes. 

------

“I can’t believe we’re doing this”

“Shush! We already bought the tickets there’s no backing out now”

“What if someone notices me?”

“They won’t. Look at you”

You looked in the mirror of the lobby bathroom you were hiding in. You were dressed in plain, unbranded clothes, your hair tucked in a low, messy bun. The majority of your face was covered by a mask and a baseball hat, making you look nearly unidentifiable to anyone looking. 

“I guess,” you sighed, still nervous, “let’s just go over the plan again”.

“Alright sheesh,” Nayoo groaned, “as if I am not a wizard of distracting our manager. You’ll get into the Uber we just called and go to Japan Airport. Your flight is at 2:30am and you’ll arrive in Korea at about 4:00am. Then you’ll go to Mark’s dorm and make out with him yadda yadda-”.

You punched her in the arm.

“Okay! Did I lie though? Anyways, you’ll be on your return flight the next day at the same time so you better savor your time. MY job is to tell Manager Kim that you are having lady problems and you can’t make it to practice today. He hates when we talk about periods so this is fool proof seriously. Plus we know that you will do fine on stage without one day of practice”.

“Okay…,” you chewed your lip nervously, half dreading the thought of being caught and half thrilled at the thought of being in Mark’s arms in a few hours. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you looked at the notification.

*your Uber driver Ayako is here! Look for license plate A29&Q on a black Honda Pilot*

Hugging Nayoo goodbye, you rush out of the hotel and into the cab, adjusting your cap and mask to make sure it covers your face. 

Each second that passed, you became more excited about seeing your boyfriend and less nervous about the consequences. 

Mark, I’m here for you. I’m coming, just wait a little bit longer. 

Your hands itched to call him and tell him what you were doing but you knew that he was catching up on some much needed sleep by now. 

When you arrived at the Japan Airport, you thanked the driver and walked briskly through the airport. You had nothing except a small backpack and your plane ticket so getting through security was quick. Thankfully, there weren’t too many people there at 2 in the morning so you began to relax. 

Successfully making it through security, you finally board the plane and claim your seat at the very back. 

Looking out the window to the dark, starry skies, the lights of the airplane wings illuminate the drops of rain that began to fall. 

-----

You jolt awake as the plane lands at the South Korea Airport with a rumbling thud. Your hands dart to your face to make sure your mask and hat are still there, sighing in relief when they remain unmoved. 

Grabbing your bag, you walk down the aisle of the half-empty plane, each step bringing you closer to Mark. 

Rushing out of the airport, your steps gain traction as you feel your heart racing in excitement at the thought of seeing your boyfriend so soon. The cold night air greets you familiarly as you call the nearest cab over. Telling the driver the address of Mark’s dorm building, you watch as the streetlights pass by and you near the boy you’ve been dying to see for weeks. 

At last, you arrive at the steps of the apartment complex. Thanking the driver, you rush into the building and attack the elevator button going up. Your breathing is shallow with excitement knowing that he’s there right now. He’s there and you’re going to be with him. 

Every second in the elevator feels like hours and you kick yourself for not taking the stairs. The floors seem like they’re all a mile away from the last and you tap your foot impatiently on the carpeted floor. 

8...9...10

*Ding*

You speed out of the elevator and find your way expertly to the infamous 10th floor dorm room. Feeling around the crevices of the carpet floor for the spare key, you feel a slight twinge of nerves because you’re technically breaking into their home. But, as soon as you enter the familiar room, any guilt you have washes away and the only thing you can feel is the rapid beating of your heart filled with love and anticipation.

Making your way silently through the dark common room, you stop at the oh-so-familiar door. When your hand touches the cold metal of the doorknob, you swear that the beating of your heart was loud enough to wake the entire building.

Taking a deep breath, you open the door and you see him. Your breath hitches at your throat and you fight back the urge to cry right then and there. Mark was lying on his bed, snuggled under the covers with his arms and legs wrapped around a pillow like he always does when he sleeps. His soft breathing was rhythmic and calming, the warm scent of his room inviting you in. 

Without wasting another second away from him, you drop your bag on the messy floor and walk up to his bed. Carefully, you pull at the pillow in his embrace and replace it with your own body. Mark shifts slightly and you freeze, not wanting to wake him up from his rare sleep. His eyes remain closed and his arms instinctively tighten around you. You can see through the darkness that his eyebrows furrow slightly and his lips part, and you wonder if he knew you were there. 

“Finally,” you thought to yourself, reaching up slowly to caress his hair, “we’re finally together”. It didn’t feel real. You couldn’t believe that you were finally here in his arms. His body was so warm and felt like home to you. 

You can feel Mark’s fingers autonomously rub circles into your back. As if his body realized what was happening, Mark’s eyes opened slowly and he peered into your face, blinking slowly to process this new information. 

“I’m here, Mark,” you whisper as softly as you can.

Without any hesitation, Mark leans forward and presses a deep kiss onto your lips, conveying ten thousand words with his actions that could only be interpreted as “I missed you so much”. 

You kiss him back, fingers gripping onto his shirt with raw emotion in an “I missed you too”. You breathe in deeply, not wanting to forsake any aspect of him, taking in all of his scent and drinking it all like a flower with no water.

He pulls away with a sigh and presses his forehead against yours. Mumbling incoherent words, you notice that he seems to have fallen back asleep.

Your own eyelids feel heavy and they flutter closed as you succumb to the warm welcome of sleep, your heart whole with love.

----- 

Dull beams of sun fell slanted through the curtains as you drifted awake the next morning. You felt a hand playing with your hair and you opened your eyes slowly, temporarily forgetting what you had done the night before. Memories flooded back and your attention narrowed in at the smiling boy in front of you. 

“You’re really here,” Mark whispered, “how are you here?”.

“It’s a long story,” you whispered back, voice still hoarse from sleep. 

He pulled you in closer to his chest and you gladly snuggled into his warm body, nuzzling at his favorite hoodie, the one you got him for Christmas. 

“I thought it was all a dream when I saw you last night,” he admitted.

“Stay with me today?,” you ask, worried that your time together would be short. If he had to go to practice, you could hardly see him at all and you’d go back to missing him a thousand miles away.

“I’m not going anywhere today,” Mark replies, kissing the top of your head, “my wishes have finally come true and you magically appeared in my bed. I’d be an idiot to leave”.

You giggled at his words, working your fingers to draw shapes into his back. 

You start to tell him what happened after you called him the night before and how devastated you were when you weren’t with him. Mark’s arms tightened around you as you told him you cried when you saw how tired he was and you weren’t there to cheer him up. You told him about how you put on a disguise and snuck around Manager Kim who thought you were dying right now. His body shook with laughter at the crazy night you had and you both agreed that this was the wildest thing you had ever done.

“How long are you gonna stay here?”

“My flight back to Japan is at 2:30am tomorrow morning. What time is it now?”

Mark shifts to unlock his phone on the nightstand. 

“It’s 10:49am”

You sighed and buried your face deeper into his chest, trying to get impossibly closer to the love of your life and make the most of your hard-earned time together. 

“Let’s do everything today,” you heard him say.

“What do you mean?” you ask, tilting your chin up to look at him, pressing a small his to his jaw. 

“Let’s just do everything we always wanted to do. Let’s get ramen from the convenience store together and then go on a walk at the park. Let’s get matching sweaters from the mall and then full sugar boba tea. You’ll drink half of mine and I’ll let you because I’m a good boyfriend”. Mark giggles at his imagination and peppers kisses across your face. 

You laugh at the ticklish sensation and your heart swells with love for the Canadian boy. 

Your whole body tingled, the feel of his body around yours and his lips on yours sending your head spinning. Rubbing your nose adoringly against his in an eskimo kiss, you vow that you would be strong for him from now on. You might be apart for work a lot, but the love you share is inseparable and undeniable. Nothing could ever come between you. You were his and he was yours. 

“Let’s do it, Everything”

[ollieofthebeholder]

leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall): a TMA fanfic

Tumblr tag || Also on AO3

Chapter 43: Jon

There aren’t words to describe what being home feels like.

It’s not just the four walls of the house they’ve bought together, or the warmth and beauty of a March sunset, or the sounds of a London evening. It’s Charlie flying down the sidewalk to attack Jon with a hug and a bright smile and a flurry of words about how much they’ve all missed him and then coming back two hours later, pleased as Punch and bearing a “welcome home” cake he baked himself. It’s Sasha calling, not texting, to tell Tim she’s home safe and then asking to talk to Jon so they can reassure each other that they’re both okay. It’s Martin gently tending to the marks on his wrists and ankles, still raw from his desperate attempts to pull free before his strength started to desert him, and singing the song he remembers from when he was a little boy and his father came back from a voyage. It’s Tim cooking Jon’s favorite dinner, but serving him in small helpings so that he doesn’t overstretch his stomach after two weeks while still making sure he eats his fill. It’s the cool, clean sheets and the thick, warm quilt and the weight and security of Tim and Martin on either side of him as he falls asleep, and it’s Tim and Martin soothing and reassuring him, as much with their presence as with any actual words, when he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night.

Going back to the Institute is harder than he would have thought. Only the fact that he knows he can’t be away from it for long gets him to go back—that and the fact that he can’t, won’t, leave his team alone to deal with Elias. Once there, though, he slips back into the routine easily enough. Despite Elias’s snide insinuations, the Archives ran fine without him, but he knows they’re glad to have him back.

They take Tuesday morning to regroup and plan. It’s all very well for both Elias and Jon Prime to tell them to find Gertrude’s notes, but Gertrude was, in Tim’s words, a paranoid old bitch, and it’s not likely that they’ll find a conspicuous notebook with detailed plans on how to stop the Unknowing. More likely that whatever they find will end up being more memory aids than anything, cryptic jottings that only mean something to Gertrude, and sussing it out won’t be easy. But it’s a place to start nevertheless, once they figure out where those notes are.

In the end, Tim and Martin take to looking through the shelves of statements—Tim looking for anything to do with the Stranger, Martin looking for a few of the tantalizing little threads they’ve noticed weaving through the tapestry of their database. Sasha attacks the filing cabinets, with the logic that Gertrude may have pretended to file something important. And Jon takes his counterpart’s advice and goes through his office.

It’s not like he doesn’t know what’s in all the drawers of his desk, but he does his due diligence, pulling everything out of each drawer, tapping for false backs or false bottoms. He does find, stuck in the back of the drawer where he keeps the spare statement forms, a creased and faded concert program printed on green stock from 2003; it doesn’t seem to have any immediate significance, though, so he sets it aside with the intention of looking into it later. Perhaps it’s simply a concert Gertrude attended that she enjoyed, but it might also be a clue to the Unknowing. He’ll have to research.

It isn’t until Wednesday morning that he finds the laptop, hidden along with a key under a floorboard that’s been creaky as long as he’s been working in the Archives. There are scratches on some of the floorboards that Jon’s always hoped aren’t fingernail marks, but several of them are loose and one of them levers up fairly easily, revealing Gertrude’s hidden stash. He digs around a bit but finds nothing else, only the laptop and the key. He sets both on his desk next to the concert program and goes to tell the others.

The laptop is dead, of course. Jon vaguely remembers seeing a charger for it when he was in Gertrude’s apartment, but he didn’t grab it then and it’s far too late to go back now. Luckily, Sasha’s laptop is almost the exact same model, so she simply swaps over the cable and lets it charge while they go over what they’ve found so far. Tim has three statements he thinks might be Stranger ones, but hasn’t looked at yet to be sure; Martin found a third statement involving the Daedalus, which Tim seems positive is a Dark statement, and another statement involving Salesa. Sasha hasn’t found anything in the filing cabinets—yet—but she does have Elias’ schedule, so they’re able to plan their briefings when they know they won’t be observed.

She also kindly hacks into Gertrude’s laptop for him, once it’s charged, and he spends most of Thursday painstakingly going through the files, emails, and Internet history. The latter is by far the most voluminous. It almost makes him laugh to discover the account name “grbookworm1818”—how had he not figured out that was Gertrude, attempting to buy Leitners? She seems to have obtained three, one of them being the copy of The Key of Solomon he found fragments of in the tunnels and the other two being ones he’s never seen or heard of. There are also purchase reports for Archival supplies, airline tickets and travel bookings, and sporadic but suspiciously large orders for petrol, lighter fluid, pesticides, and high-powered torches.

When he comes out of his office at the end of the day, eyes bleary and with no clear plan, he finds a number of dusty boxes scattered about and his assistants attempting to find space for them, but they refuse to tell him where they came from or what they’re for. The next morning, however, Martin and Tim usher him into one of the storage rooms they’ve never really got around to sorting out the second they arrive in the Archives. It’s completely empty, save a table, four chairs, a low set of shelves, a whiteboard, and a corkboard, to which Sasha is tacking a large map of the world. The shelves hold fourteen boxes of the kind designed to hold photographs, a large box of pushpins, three different-colored balls of string, and a laptop cord, ready and waiting.

“We thought we needed a war room,” Tim explains, obviously trying to fight back a grin. “You know, somewhere we can keep everything together and not…get mixed up with the rest of the work we’re doing.”

“Allegedly doing,” Sasha says over her shoulder. “I’m still not sure how much of this job is what was presented to us when we took it and how much is the sort of thing we’re doing right now…can one of you give me a hand here?” she adds as the upper corner of the map flops over onto her head, just above her outstretched hand. Tim comes over to assist.

Jon looks around, surprised and pleased, and opens his bag to pull out Gertrude’s laptop. “Why did you pick this room, out of curiosity?”

Martin pulls the door shut behind him. “The molding.”

“What?” Jon frowns at him.

Tim gives the map a firm stroke to smooth out any air bubbles and presses the pushpin deep into the cork, then turns to give Martin a warm, approving smile. “You know how Elias always seems to know what’s going on in the Archives whenever it’s least convenient for us? Martin realized why the other day.”

“It was an accident,” Martin insists, face turning slightly pink.

“It was brilliant.” Tim claps him on the shoulder. “Those fancy decorations at all the joins in the molding? You know, those elaborate carvings at the top of the fake columns and the corners of all the doorframes and whatnot?”

“Not…I’ve never paid much attention to them.” Jon’s only five foot seven, and since he’s never had to worry too much about clearance or anything like that he’s never really looked too much at anything over his head.

“It’s at the corners of all the shelves, too,” Martin offers. “At least the ones where the statements are stored, the ones that are pretty obviously original to the Institute. You know, with what looks like a medallion in the middle?”

Those Jon has seen. “It’s the Institute seal, isn’t it? Or the Magnus family crest?”

“That’s what I always thought, too, but Martin got a good look at one the other day while he was getting down a statement for me.” Sasha’s eyes sparkle behind her glasses, which instantly puts Jon on edge; these days, anything that excites Sasha is likely to have bad ramifications for them. “It’s an eye.”

“And if he can ‘see through any eye, real or image’…” Tim spreads his hands out invitingly.

Jon sets the laptop down harder than he probably should, eyes wide. “He’s been watching us through the moldings!”

“Yep. It’s anybody’s guess whether or not Gertrude knew about it. I ran it down right after I told them and got a lot of stammering and profanity. Although not from who you might expect,” Martin adds with just the tiniest bit of a smirk. Sasha practically cackles. “Anyway, this room doesn’t have anything like that, we double-checked. So we just…cleaned out all the stuff that was in here and set this up. Give us a bit of breathing room, anyway.”

“At least until Elias comes down to the Archives to figure out why he can’t see us easily,” Tim adds. “But, you know, it’s a head start.”

Jon is six inches shorter than Tim and a full nine inches shorter than Martin, so there’s no way to make it look less than deliberate if he attempts to give either one of them even the most casual kiss on the cheek, but good Lord, he wants to. Instead, he just beams at them both. “God, you’re brilliant. Right, let me get a cup of tea and we can get started.”

“I’m on it.” Martin slips out of the little room.

Sasha smirks at Jon behind Tim’s back, but he does his best to ignore her and focuses on the boxes. “What are these?”

“Tapes. We made copies of all the recordings we’ve done so far of the real statements and sorted them by which fear they belong to.” Sasha taps the lid of one of the boxes and indicates the label on the front. It’s a bright yellow set of concentric circles—no, Jon realizes, it’s a spiral. “Tim did the labels.”

Jon glances up at Tim, both impressed and worried. “You didn’t—”

“Nope.” Tim pulls out a box and shows him the label, simply the word US in a rich, vibrant green. “I don’t know how detailed the ‘image’ has to be, but I’m not risking it. Everything else I tried to do the symbols they described, or…something that made sense. Like antlers for the Hunt.”

“And the ink colors? Is that corresponding to—it’s not the labels we use.”

“No. Those are the colors I’m pretty sure the fears are.”

Martin comes back in with four mugs of tea. Jon takes his with a grateful smile. “Actually, let’s start there. We’ve never really talked about the colors, beyond…”

“What I told Elias,” Tim completes.

“And the little bit you described when you took a look at all of us.”

Tim takes his own mug from Martin, and for some reason Martin’s ears turn slightly pink. Jon’s distracted for a moment until Tim muses, “It’s…weird. Some of them are obvious. Like I said, it’s super obvious the Eye is green and the Stranger is indigo, because I saw that one at the Trophy Room with no other colors interfering. And the Corruption being yellow-green is obvious because of—”

“Me,” Martin finishes.

Tim nods. “And the Spiral being yellow—Christ, that door. The others I…sort of had to guess. Even with…you know…it was hard for me to suss out. The Eye is everywhere. Looking at him is like looking at the shelves in the Archives. The scars are pretty obvious, but not completely.” He frowns. “Like the Hunt and the Slaughter. They’re really close in color. I think the Slaughter’s got a bit more orange in it, the Hunt’s a true red, but especially under the cover of the Beholding, it’s hard to tell the difference. And, actually, sometimes it’s hard to tell the Stranger from the Web at a glance. I mean, until you really start looking at them. The Web is purple, so if it’s not by itself…I mean, it’s a subtle distinction.”

Jon glances uneasily at the carefully-inked purple spiderweb, then turns away. It still bothers him.

They manage to get nearly two hours into their discussion, moving from the colors to the Stranger threads they’ve picked up to what Jon’s gleaned from Gertrude’s laptop. Tim is just jabbing a pin into Nairobi on the map when Sasha stiffens and glances over her shoulder. “Incoming.”

Jon’s about to ask what she’s talking about when the door opens and Elias pokes his head in with a patently false smile. “Knock, knock.”

Tim and Martin make nearly identical noises of frustration. Jon clasps his hands behind his back and gives Elias his best I’m-annoyed-at-being-interrupted-but-you’re-my-superior-so-I’ll-be-polite look, which is only partly put-on. “Can we help you, Elias?”

“I simply wanted to see how you were progressing with finding out about the Unknowing.” Elias looks around the room with interest, and Jon has to work hard to use the tricks Jon Prime has been teaching him to keep his excitement from being obvious. Martin and Tim are right; Elias can’t see into this room. “What have you uncovered so far?”

Jon is immensely proud of his team. They manage to weave an incredibly tight explanation of how much they’ve learned, within limits, that doesn’t let on how much information they were given ahead of time, listing steps without revealing that anything other than chance led them to it. Elias completely acts the part of the mildly interested academic and bureaucrat, but he’s also obviously fishing for information. Martin does a masterful job of acting like he’s falling directly into Elias’ traps while neatly sidestepping them, Tim cracks jokes at the appropriate times to distract him while putting just enough bite into them that Elias will assume they’re simply angry and sarcastic jabs, and Sasha throws a flurry of technical terms into the discussion that are certainly relevant to the topic at hand but serve to make Elias change the tack of his questioning. Like Jon, she knows the value of a well-placed info dump.

There is no redirecting him from the map, however. While he must have known about Gertrude’s travels, at least in a general sense, it’s clear he knew little about her actual movements. Jon masks his reluctance with annoyance and gives Elias a clipped version of his findings.

“Is there any significance to the colors of pins you have used?” he asks, gesturing to the map, where they’ve been marking out Gertrude’s travels. “Or is it random? Or for the…aesthetic?”

“We were trying to do it by what year she took the trip, but we only have so many colors,” Jon answers. “We’ve just switched over. Red are trips that were very definitely expensed back to the Institute, white are ones that were not, and yellow are the ones where we aren’t quite sure.”

“Mm…Gertrude did request a rather high travel budget, comparatively. Of course, if the Archivist job was as simple as it is in other institutions, she would have required no travel whatsoever, but in her capacity to stop the rituals…” Elias seems particularly fascinated by the pin on Beijing. “Why is this one in blue?”

“We just haven’t swapped the pin over yet. That’s one of the last trips we have a record of in Gertrude’s laptop.” Tim tilts his head at Jon. “From, what, six months before she died?”

“Closer to nine. Actually, Martin, can you change that one out, please?” Jon gestures at the box. “It’s a yellow one, I think.”

Martin mumbles an excuse me and switches out the pin. Elias purses his lips thoughtfully. “I don’t recall there being a ritual anywhere near Beijing at the time. What could have sent her there?”

“No idea. What’s bothering me is that we don’t know where she went from there.”

That draws Elias’ attention away from the map and back to Jon. “Surely she came back to London.”

“No.” Jon folds his arms over his chest. “Or at least, not that we can find. As I said, we’re largely tracing these trips from booking confirmations sent to Gertrude’s email address, and she largely purchased one-way tickets. Her last flight purchased out of London was to Paris, and then she booked a flight from Paris to Beijing. From there…I don’t know. I suppose she was buying tickets as she went along. It’s not like her credit card statements list where the flights went, only what airlines she flew and when she purchased the tickets. No hotel accommodations, though. Doubtless she paid cash, or else Gerard paid for those.”

“Gerard?” Elias says with interest. “Gerard Keay? Who told you he was traveling with Gertrude?”

Panic strikes Jon. Most likely it’s something he gleaned from Jon Prime—but on the other hand, did the Primes actually mention that? Flustered, he stammers, “I—someone must have—”

“No, no one told you. You Knew.” Elias sounds delighted.

“I probably just—gleaned it from the statements.” Jon glances at the shelves.

“No, Jon, this is a good thing. You’re getting stronger! It’s one thing to be able to—” Elias gestures vaguely and almost dismissively at Tim and Martin “—glean something from somebody in the room, but just Knowing something like that, that’s a big step.”

He sounds like a proud father, and it makes Jon feel incredibly uncomfortable. He balls his hands into fists, gathering up the cuffs of the sweater he definitely didn’t steal from either Tim or Martin, to stop himself from reaching out to one of them for protection. It’s stupid. Elias won’t hurt him, not here, not now; he needs him too much. He knows he’s safe. It just feels…dangerous, and he wants them to make him feel safer. Rather than risk Elias knowing how much he depends on them and doing something about it, he grips the sweater.

Elias practically beams at him. “It seems to me your next step should be obvious.”

“It should?”

“You should start retracing her steps. Are her notes from this trip on there?”

“Ah—no.”

“Then you’ll need to go where she was. Find out where she stayed, what she did.” Elias clasps his hands behind his back. “Where she went from there. How soon do you think you can leave?”

Jon blinks. This is going a bit faster than he expected. He turns to Tim and Martin. “Do you two have a passport?”

Martin looks a bit stunned. “N-no, I’ve never—never needed one?”

“Mine’s still in good standing,” Tim answers. “But if Martin needs one, that’d be—what, four weeks, at a minimum?”

“Jon, I asked when you would be able to leave,” Elias says, mildly enough but with a bit of steel behind it. “Your assistants need to stay here. We do need to get all of this straightened out still, and there’s research that needs to be done from here. You can relay whatever information you find back to the Archives, and I’m sure they can assist you if needed, but really, the Institute can’t spare the funds to reimburse more than one of you for an extended trip.”

Jon is pretty sure that’s a lie, but he knows Elias won’t reimburse them, and he also knows that neither Tim nor Martin can actually afford to pay their own way to come along, not with the house payments and Martin’s mother’s medical bills. He sighs heavily and fights to maintain eye contact with Elias. “I can get a flight out Sunday night or Monday morning.”

“Monday will be fine,” Elias says without batting an eyelash. Jon knows Sunday, statistically speaking, is the most expensive day to fly, so anything to save the Institute a few pence, he supposes. “Well, it seems you’ve all done marvelously well. I think you all deserve to take a half-day today. With pay. Finish up what you need to do here, and you can leave at twelve. Jon, do keep me appraised of your flight information.” He flashes them an absolutely terrifying smile, turns on his heel, and leaves the room.

The second the door shuts behind him, Jon sags, bracing himself against the table. “God.”

Sasha collapses into a chair, looking absolutely wiped out. “Tell me about it.”

“Hold on.” Martin picks up Jon’s mug, then Sasha’s, and slips out of the room.

Tim tentatively reaches out and touches Jon’s arm. “Sit down before you fall down. You look almost as bad as she does.”

“I’m all right.” Jon sits down anyway, grateful for Tim’s concern.

A phone buzzes from somewhere; Jon instinctively reaches for his pocket before remembering that he hasn’t replaced it yet. He spent longer than he should have trying to resurrect his shattered phone after Martin silently handed him its remains, but finally had to give up. “Is that yours, Tim?”

“No, I think it’s Martin’s.”

With that rare sort of timing that almost never happens, Martin comes back in, bearing two brimming mugs of tea; he hands one to Sasha, then one to Jon. He has to bend over to do it, and Jon brushes a quick kiss against his cheek as it comes past before he loses his nerve, then tries to play it off like he didn’t notice he did it. “Your phone went off.”

Martin’s ears are pink, and he goes to pick up his phone rather quickly. He actually snorts with laughter and shakes his head, a slightly amused smile on his face as he taps out a reply.

“Everything okay?” Tim asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s from Melanie. Just says ‘Jet lag sucks balls.’ I’m guessing she’s back in town.” Martin slips his phone into his pocket and sighs. “What do we do now?”

“Unfortunately,” Jon mutters, “I think we do what Elias said. Finish up what we’re doing here, and leave early.” He looks over at Sasha. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Sasha manages a smile that even Jon can tell is fake, then drops it immediately and sighs. “I was trying to keep on top of how much he knew, or thought we knew. It’s a weird sort of balancing act…thing. Like keeping just the right tension on a rope.”

“Sasha.” Martin sounds upset. “You were reading his mind?”

“Just—skimming the surface,” Sasha protests.

Jon sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You have to stop doing that. I know it’s tempting. God knows I know that. But you can’t just—and you knew he was coming. Was that intentional?”

“Sort of. It’s not like I’m constantly trying to read his mind or whatever, but…I don’t know. I just got a sense of…something.”

“All right, Gwen Stacey,” Tim says with a smirk. “Jon’s right, though, you’ve got to quit feeding it or it’s going to start feeding on you.”

Sasha sighs heavily. “I’m…trying to try.”

“Well, it’s a start.” Jon takes a sip of tea.

They get the room straightened up, then head back into the Archives. Martin keeps periodically replying to text messages on his phone, but the others don’t ask. It’s not until Jon, having brought his laptop out to join the others, is finalizing his booking that he frowns at his screen and looks up at the others. “Melanie wants to know if the rest of you’d like to join us for lunch, seeing as we’ve got the afternoon off and everything.”

Jon hesitates. On the one hand, he’d like to decline; he and Melanie tend to prick at each other whenever they interact, despite his best intentions. On the other hand, he admittedly wants to spend as much time with Tim and Martin as he can before he leaves on this trip. Heaven knows how long he’ll be gone and he’ll miss them, he knows that.

“If I’m included in that,” he says at last, “I’d be honored.”

They lock up at twelve and head to the pub Jon has begun to think of as “theirs”, even though they don’t go often. It’s cool and overcast, and there are definite signs it rained earlier, most notably the worms on the sidewalk. Jon notices Martin carefully avoiding treading on them and reaches over to take his hand comfortingly just as Tim throws his arm around his shoulders from the other side. It makes Sasha laugh, which makes them laugh, too, and at least gets Martin to stop watching his feet.

Pat waves when they come in and gestures to one of the tables, and Martin steps forward with a warm smile as Melanie King rises from a chair and meets him with a hug that would probably make Jon jealous if he didn’t know Martin was gay, and also if he had any right to be jealous. “God, it is…surprisingly good to see you.”

Martin huffs a laugh. “I’m not sure how to take that.”

Melanie actually laughs and gives Martin a friendly punch on the arm. Martin laughs in earnest as he reels back in an exaggerated manner, rubbing at his arm. “Ow! Hey, I need that!”

“Sure.” Melanie turns and offers Sasha a smile and her hand. “Sasha, good to see you.”

“Good to see you, too.” Sasha shakes her hand, then turns slightly. “Sorry, don’t think we’ve met.”

Jon turns, too, and his brain pulls up short. She’s changed up her hairstyle and shed her glasses, there’s a tattoo peeking out from under the collar of her t-shirt, and he’s pretty sure there are a couple additional holes in her ears, but the smile is unmistakable to someone who’s spent six years running from it.

“Georgie,” he stammers.

Georgie Barker’s smile gets a bit more uncertain, but there’s at least no hostility in her eyes. “Jon, hello. I didn’t expect to see you.”

“I, ah—” Jon gestures vaguely, either at Martin or at Melanie, he’s not sure which.

Melanie shrugs. “I did say the invitation was open to everyone. Kind of didn’t expect you to accept, to be honest, but—”

“Frankly, it’s been a shit month and we’re an all-or-nothing deal right now,” Martin says. He looks slightly quizzical and slightly worried as he eyes Georgie. “I—did I talk to you on the phone once?”

“Right, introductions. Georgie Barker, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James, and—” Melanie waves at Tim. “I actually haven’t got a clue who you are.”

“There are some who call me….Tim?” Tim quips with an arch of the eyebrows.

It’s the right thing to say to diffuse the tension, especially as Melanie and Martin both let out exaggerated groans as Georgie, who consumed every bit of media even vaguely associated with Arthurian legend during a time when she was obsessed enough to qualify as a minor expert on the subject, bursts into laughter. The six of them arrange themselves around the table as Pat brings over a tray of pints, then takes their food orders and heads off to get them together.

Martin takes a sip of his pint and evidently starts to speak three times before saying in a carefully neutral voice, “I hope you had a…successful trip.”

Melanie lifts an eyebrow at him. “You were a lot less cagey before. Is it them?”

“No, I’m a bit tired,” Martin says. “Like I said, it’s been…a lot.” He hesitates, glancing at Georgie for a brief second, then evidently gives up. “Remember how I said we all had…weird stuff we could do? My thing is that I can make people answer questions when I ask them. And if I’m tired or not really paying attention, sometimes I do it without meaning to, and that’s not fair to you.”

“I don’t believe you.” Melanie folds her arms over her chest. “Prove it.”

Martin hesitates. “Okay, um…what made you so upset when I asked if you wanted to come to lunch with me when we met?”

“If you weren’t a bloke, you’d be exactly my type and I had just a second where I wondered if I was actually a lesbian,” Melanie answers automatically, then blinks. “Fuck.”

Martin’s face catches fire. Tim grins and winks. “That just proves you’ve got taste.”

“Yeah, well, still.” Melanie presses her lips tightly together. “S’pose I can’t get too mad. I did tell you to prove it. Not your fault I didn’t actually expect it to work.” She snorts. “Successful? Yeah, I guess. I found out what I went to find out. And I didn’t die, so…promise kept?” She shrugs. “I owe you the whole story, but maybe not here.”

“Come by the Institute on Monday,” Sasha offers. “We can get your statement—oh, right.” She looks at Jon. “That okay with you?”

“No, that’s fine. Ah, take your pick on who you want to tell it to,” Jon says to Melanie, indicating the other three. “I promise you don’t have to deal with me.”

“I don’t mind all that much,” Melanie says with a sideways glance at Georgie. “You’re not…actually that bad to talk to. At least you’re trying not to be a prick.”

Georgie turns a laugh into a cough. Jon studiously avoids looking at her. “Thank you, I think, but I didn’t mean that in a ‘you can choose to talk to someone else’ way. I meant that as in ‘I’m leaving on a business trip Monday morning, so I won’t even be there.’”

“A business trip—for an Archivist? What, are you going to the Library of Alexandria or something?”

“No, the last one blew that up,” Tim says under his breath.

Jon kicks Tim under the table. “Beijing. My…predecessor traveled there some time before her death, but she didn’t leave any notes behind on what she may have learned there. So, lucky me, I get to follow behind her and try to pick up a three-year-old trail.”

“You can’t tell me the idea of piecing together something like that doesn’t appeal to you,” Georgie says, sounding amused. “What’s your—hang on, what was it called—your PFX count these days?”

“I haven’t—yes, all right, I suppose the idea of the hunt’s not altogether unwelcome,” Jon admits. “I just…would really rather not be doing it right now. For God’s sake, I only just got back from my last—unexpected absence.”

Martin’s hand tightens on his glass. Tim takes a huge swallow of his. Georgie looks back and forth between the two of them, then frowns at Jon. “So why are you leaving so quickly? If it’s been three years, it’s not like the clues are going anywhere.”

“Yes, but the situation is…somewhat time-sensitive.”

“Critical,” Martin supplies.

“Life-or-death, you might say,” Tim offers.

Georgie’s frown deepens. “You’re an Archivist. Which I’m still wrapping my brain around, by the way. You were a researcher, Jon. I know you don’t just have a degree in library science lying around.”

“No,” Jon says with a sigh. “The Archives at the Magnus Institute are…interesting, let’s put it that way. Library training in the actual Archivist is surprisingly less important than you might think. Besides, we have Martin, and what he doesn’t know about organizing and categorizing isn’t worth knowing.”

“Christ.” Martin buries his face one hand. Both Sasha and Melanie snicker at him. If the two of them are going to be friends, Jon thinks, God help them all.

Only Georgie can manage to frown while simultaneously arching an eyebrow in a knowing fashion. Jon tries very hard to pretend he doesn’t understand what she thinks she knows. “So you have a degree in library science.”

“No,” Martin says, voice still muffled by his palm. “I don’t have a degree. But I worked in the library at the Institute for ten years before I got assigned to the Archives, so I kind of know what I’m doing.”

“Right. Still. What do you have to do, as an Archivist, in China, that is life or death?”

Protect my team, Jon wants to say but doesn’t. The ritual, according to the Primes, can’t succeed; Orsinov’s Unknowing will collapse on itself. They’re probably going to try to stop it anyway, because he doesn’t doubt that Orsinov will survive the ritual’s failure and try again, and they can’t let anyone else fall prey to that. This world tour, retracing Gertrude’s steps, won’t give them any information to help them with that. But Elias doesn’t know they know that, and Jon can’t risk what he might do to the people he loves if he doesn’t obey orders.

“It’s…a long story,” he tries.

Georgie shrugs. “I’ve done my recordings for the week and I’ve got plenty of time for editing. And I thought you got off early today.”

Pat turns up then with everyone’s lunch. Jon waits until he heads back behind the bar to say, “I don’t…know where to begin, honestly. Trust me when I say it’s all pretty unbelievable.”

“You’re an archivist. We left believable behind a while ago.”

“Ha, ha.” Jon gives Georgie his best glare. As usual, she sticks her tongue out at him and rolls her hand for him to continue. “I—really, I don’t know where to—”

“Jon.” Martin sets down his glass, reaches over, and covers Jon’s hand with his own. Jon meets his eyes instinctively. “In thirty words or less, what is the story behind this trip?”

“There are monsters in the world, tied to different fears,” Jon answers immediately. “They’re trying to reshape the world in their own image and basically kickstart the Apocalypse. We’re trying to stop them.”

Martin sits back, looking miserable, and it’s only then Jon registers the wash of static receding from his mind. “Sorry, Jon. I really should have asked first.”

Jon grabs Martin’s hand before he can pull it away and squeezes. “I’d have sat here dithering to the end of time if you hadn’t. Thank you, Martin.”

Martin manages a tentative smile. Georgie’s frown has eased back a little. “Huh. How many of these things are there?”

“Monsters? Or rituals?” Jon blinks at Georgie. “You believe me?”

“Well, yeah.” Georgie waves a hand as if to say duh. “It’s not like I didn’t know there are monsters in the world.”

Sasha’s hand tightens on her fork, and she pushes back from the table abruptly. “Be right back. I—I need a minute.” She strides purposefully for the front door.

“Sasha, don’t—” Jon begins to call after her, but too late; she’s out the door.

“Did I say something wrong?” Georgie looks concerned.

Martin sighs heavily. “I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you’ve seen…monsters before.”

“Yeah? What’s that got to do with anything?” Georgie asks with a deepening frown.

“Oh…damn.” Jon looks at Georgie, and now he can feel it, too—the static building behind his eyes, an almost imperceptible itch beneath his skin. This shouldn’t be happening, he’s taken two statements already this week, first Michael’s and then Tim and Martin’s, and even if Sasha siphoned off most of that one…he can’t possibly need one this badly, not now. But it’s not need, it’s want, it’s a desire at this point, so he can fight it…

“The Institute serves one of those fear things we’re talking about,” Tim tells her, his voice subdued. “In our case, it’s about knowledge and secrets and…hidden information and stuff like that. We usually just call it the Eye, it’s quicker than most of the other names. But one of the ways it sort of feeds itself is with other people’s stories of their spooky encounters. Usually with something touched by one of the other beings.”

“You’ve got a story to tell,” Martin explains. “The Eye wants it. And Sasha and Jon can both…” He hesitates, looking at Jon. “Sense it?”

“Better than saying ‘smell it,’ I suppose,” Jon says softly. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, forcing the static back.

Georgie blinks. “I mean…I’ll tell you about it. If you want.”

“That…would probably not be a good idea. I can’t—we can’t take but so many statements in any given period of time.” Jon opens his eyes, feeling a bit calmer. “Not without wearing ourselves out, or hurting ourselves. And I’ve had two already this week.”

“And we’ve had one each,” Tim adds, gesturing to himself and Martin. “Right? You just read—”

“Statement of Manuela Dominguez, regarding her unconventional religious beliefs and their intersection with her project aboard the space station Daedalus,” Martin recites. “And you read yours yesterday, it was—”

“Not, as it turns out, a Stranger statement. The Web. Statement of Darren Harlow, regarding a failed psychology experiment at the University of Surrey.” Tim rubs his forehead and sighs. “Actually, I need to talk to you two about that one. We may have a problem.”

Melanie looks back and forth between the two of them, blinking. Jon sighs, too. “Anyway, yes, it’s…there’s a lot. The ritual we’re trying to stop right now is the Stranger’s. It’s—kind of the opposite of the Eye? The ritual’s called the Unknowing. We’re still piecing together what it’s all about, but anyway, that’s what I’m about to go haring off around the world about. Which I would really rather not do, but I don’t have much of a choice. Our boss made that perfectly clear.” He can’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Sasha comes back in, looking much calmer, and slips back into her seat with an apology. Melanie looks at Tim. “So what about you, then? If he can ask questions and make people answer, and they can tell when someone’s got a story—”

“It’s not quite that. It’s more—” Sasha spreads out her hands. “Less stories and more secrets. Things people haven’t told. At least, that’s how it is for me. The ones who come to make statements and will talk to anyone, they’re not as interesting to me. It’s the ones who just…don’t want to talk about it, I guess. Or choose not to. Sometimes I know things without meaning to, but I’m trying to throttle that back. Jon is more…all of it.”

Jon nods. “I have the—the question thing, too. And the knowing, although it’s not just hidden things, it’s facts or important information. It’s not as bad as it could be, but it’s getting worse. On top of that, there’s the compulsion to read out the statements, and…it’s just a lot.”

“None of which actually answers my question,” Melanie says. “What did you get out of all this?”

“Oh. I can…look at people, or things, and see if they’ve had anything to do with one of the fear…things,” Tim says. “They glow different colors.”

“You can see auras,” Georgie supplies.

“Not—exactly. I mean, I can’t say ‘oh, you have a calm personality’ or ‘you’re a very troubled person’ or anything like that. But if you’ve bumped into one of the powers, if I concentrate, I can see where it marked you and…usually figure out from there.”

Georgie folds her hands on the table and meets his eye. “What color is mine, then? Or am I making it up?”

Tim hesitates, then takes a deep breath. His eyes go slightly unfocused, and Jon feels the faint crackle of static—not quite the same as when Martin asks questions or Sasha blurts out a secret, but close, like the dial on a disused radio station turned a single click in a different direction. After a moment, Tim’s shoulders relax and he blinks. “White. Bright white. The one you’ve met is Terminus. The End.” He hesitates. “Death. Am I right?”

There’s a short pause before Georgie looks at Jon and says, “You’ve got a good bunch here.”

Jon looks at both Tim and Martin and says, softly, “I know.”

[jupiterswlrd]

White

Warnings: May Contain Strong Language

Genre: Angst, Fluff if you squint

Based On: White By Frank Ocean

Part One Part Two

“I’ll forget 23, like I forget 17”

You and Changkyun had dated all throughout high school, everybodies favorite couple. Through your peers eyes, you two were perfect everything that went down it went down in silence and when you two did have your breaks it seemed everyone was heartbroken along with the two of you.

As your graduation approached, you noticed Changkyun started to to distance himself more and more from you. Constantly having you wondering why or what you did that was wrong. Heartbreak taking effect before your relationship even officially ended and it never did…officially.

You two had made plans for the summer after graduation, that never came true. Changkyun had just disappeared, almost out of thin air. You asked around but never got answers. Seconds turned to minutes,minutes turned to hours,hours turned to days, and days to months.

You couldn’t spend time focusing on Changkyun who obviously had gone M.I.A, you had college to focus on. Regardless, your heartbreak was apparent, you couldn’t sleep or a mess. You felt yourself break from reality at time, a part of you imagining your boyfriend still living across the street waiting for you to randomly pop up at his house.

You still weren’t over your heartbreak but you had to leave home anyways. Leaving behind your hometown,your friends,your family, and to you leaving behind Changkyun.

Time had past and you had your share of girlfriends and boyfriends just to fill the now lessened void in your heart, but it still wasn’t what you wanted. At least you had healed, doing much better now on your third year of college and loving the life you lived.

You were in the car on your way back to your dorm listening to whatever the radio was playing. A new song you’d never heard play before came on, piquing your interest making you turn it up a little louder. You read the artist’s name as it flashed across your screen. ‘Monsta X?’ You read wondering who or what the hell it was.

When you got back to your room, you did as you usually did and that is procrastinate. Instead of getting on your laptop and doing your homework you decided to look up to see who this ‘Monsta X’ was. You looked through the members on a kpop profile website. “Oh so they’re Korean” you muttered to your self scrolling.

“Okay well let’s see”

“Shownu oh he’s kinda cute” You said looking at what appeared to be their ‘leader’

“Wonho,wait he’s buff as hell” you were impressed so far out of the two there was nobody that was unattractive and they had good music, you had no choice but to stan.

“Kihyun, Hyungwon, Joohoney, I.M” you said mindlessly scrolling and looking through the names and profiles.

“Wait- I.M? That’s literally…” You felt your chest tighten, years of memories you decided to put away coming back to you like a tidal wave. “He-“ You struggled to bring words together that made sense, you couldn’t breathe. You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself down. Your ‘missing’ first love hadn’t been missing at all, he was just in Korea doing very big things.

Half of you was angry, wanting to curse him out for leaving you like that and not telling you, making you worried like sick. The other was relieved, happy that he was okay, happy that he had a whole life going on for him. You looked at the debut date ‘May 14, 2015’ a week after you all had graduated.

You basically had no way to get into contact with him without sounding like some kind of crazy fan. You saw an ad for their upcoming tour and sighed. You wondered if he would even give you the time of day, it had been years since you all even made contact with each other. Would he even remember you?

You impusly bought 2 tickets, one for you and another for your roommate who you just couldn’t wait to tell about how you found your first love online in the most ridiculous way.

That whole night you decided to play his groups entire discography, learning every song so you didn’t stick out at the concert. You even contemplated on buying their lightstick, even though you had zero idea what it was.

You were feeling ten different emotions at once, something between pure terror and bliss. Nonetheless, you were on cloud nine and all you could see was white.

“And I forgive my first love”

“Like you forget a daydream”

[seouledbysisi]

From The Moon

Chapter 3

Shanyia ravaged through their apartment to get it clean. Her mother was a investment consultant for a huge company so she was loaded with cash. She had paid the rent up for the entire year for she and Mia. The apartment was a consolation prize for her always being away on business. Heck, her being able to go off to school in Korea was the reason for that as well. Her mom always bought her things to try and show that she cared. Shanyia was used to it though.

“Mom’s coming?” Mia asked as she plopped on the couch and watched Shanyia rewipe the counters over and over. She always did extreme cleaning when her mom was going to visit.

Shanyia sighed. “How’d you know?”

“Because you’re cleaning a spotless counter like your life depends on it.” Mia giggled.

“I don’t know why I do this to myself.”

Mia shrugged. “I don’t know either. Your mom isn’t even strict and plus our apartment is always clean. Stop stressing so much.”

Suddenly they heard a key rattling in their door. It was definitely Shanyia’s mom. She came bearing gifts. . .as always. “My loves! I’ve missed y’all! Shanyia this is for you!” She handed her two bags. One was a Gucci bag and the other was from Michael Kors. She grabbed Mia and hugged her. “And these are for you!” She handed her matching shopping bags.

Mia’s eyes brightened. “Gucci is a girl’s best friend and this purse is to die for! How’d you know I wanted it?”

“I’ve known you long enough to know what you like!” She winked.

Shanyia eyed their interaction. She knew Mia was girlier than she was and her mom loved that about her. She could doll her up as much as she pleased. After all they both loved fashion. On the other hand, Shanyia couldn’t care less about fashion unless it was absolutely neccessary. She pulled out the bag her mom got her. It was much more her speed. “Thanks mom.” She stated and stuffed the bag back into the shopping bag.

“What, Nyia? You don’t like it?” Her mom questioned with a hurt expression.

“Oh yeah I like it. You know I’m not hung up over designer things. I never have been.” She sent her a small smile.

Mia shrugged. “Well I’m going to rock the hell out of this purse! Thanks again second mommy!” She trotted into the kitchen to grab a snack.

“So what have you ladies been up to besides school of course?!”

Mia smirked. “We went to a art exhibit the other day!”

“Yeah and managed to sprain the directors ankle while we were there.” Shanyia spoke under her breath.

Her mom’s eyes flew open wide. “What the hell! How?”

“Well we were trying to get away from this pervert and we took a fall and brought the lady down with us.” Mia explained.

“So you know what you have to do, right?” Her mom spoke.

Shanyia eyed her intensely, she knew she wasn’t going to like where this was going. “I’m sure it has something to do with money.”

“Yes. You’re going to take the check up to the art gallery and give this to the director.” She snapped her fingers as if she meant right then.

“Why would I do that? Money doesn’t solve everything, mom! That’s your problem. You throw cash like it’s nothing!” Nyia sighed loudly.

Her mom pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’re right. Money doesn’t solve everything and I’m sorry that I’m not around like you once needed me to be but it’s apart of my job and I had to take care of you on my own so I had to work. Okay?”

“I know. I get it. I’m just saying you don’t have to keep tossing money. I’m good.” Nyia finished.

Her mom walked towards her and handed her a check. “You’re still giving this to the director. Doctor bills are not cheap, young lady!”

Nyia rolled her eyes and snatched the check out of her hand. “I guess.”

Mia squealed loudly which broke the tension.

“What is it?!” Nyia yelled out of irritation.

Mia rose an eyebrow. “First off lose the attitude because what I’m about to tell you is going to make you the happiest girl on earth!”

“Okay, what is it?”

“Someone’s back home...” she started.

Shanyia’s mom looked confused. “Do I even wanna know?”

“Mom, shh!” Nyia was bracing herself. She didn’t want to get hyped up for nothing. “Tell me you’re not lying!”

“Nope. That’s not even the best part though...”

Nyia was becoming frustrated. “Stop pausing and just tell me!”

“He’s having a welcome home concert at the Henz Club on Saturday!” Mia squealed again.

Shanyia was stuck. She was legit frozen in place. “I’ve been waiting on this day to come. Nine long weeks!”

“Tickets go on sale on Thursday. They’re apparently super limited and they only have openings for ten VIPs.” Mia revealed.

Shanyia shrugged. “Whatever it takes, right?”

“Oh we’re getting two of those spots for sure!” Mia promised.

For some odd reason Shanyia had no worries. Her best friend came through no matter what. She never went back on her words. She had a world of faith in her.

“So, anyone else hungry? Cause I sure am!” Her mom stated as she rubbed her belly. “In fact for get dressed. Meet me in the rental vehicle down stairs.” She walked out the apartment before her daughter could argue.

“She’s lucky I’m actually hungry!” Shanyia griped.

Mia chuckled. “Girl, it’s free food. I don’t know why you complain!”

Shanyia decided to actually dress up a little. She had finally gotten the good news she had been waiting on so may as well dress up a bit.

Mia was already in the living room when Shanyia emerged. “Well don’t you look like me for once!” She complimented.

Mia

Shanyia rolled her eyes. “I feel a little inspired, sue me!” She giggled.

They pulled up to a restaurant directly in Seoul. It looked super expensive but what more could she expect seeing as her mom loved blowing money.

“Before you say something, I didn’t pick this place because of the prices!” Her mom cleared up.

Shanyia giggled. “I didn’t say a word!”

“Your face said it for you.” She responded. “I heard this place has the best food so that’s why I chose it.”

Shanyia shrugged. “It’s fine! I’m using this dinner as a celebratory dinner anyway.”

“What exactly are we celebrating?” Her mom questioned after they were seated.

“Her future husband’s sobriety!” Mia blurted out.

Her mom cleared her throat. “Wait- you have a boyfriend? And he’s an alcoholic?” She felt like she had just entered into the twilight zone.

“No I do not! He’s a rapper that I adore and he’s going through a rough period but he’s getting his life together and that’s what we’re celebrating!” Shanyia explained.

Her mom grabbed her chest where her heart is. “Whew! I was about to flip out on you. You can do much better than a alcoholic.”

Shanyia rolled her eyes. Bloo wasn’t a bad guy, he just had a bad habit which is why he was getting help. There was no point in defending him to her mother though because she didn’t even know him and to her he’d be just a famous rapper.

“Let go of me!” A woman yelled from across the restaurant.

The ladies all turned their head towards the commotion. A man had his large hands wrapped around a woman’s wrist trying to get her to leave with him.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, you cheater!” The lady yelled again.

The man looked around at all the eyes on him and rushed out of the restaurant.

The woman laid her head on the table. She was clearly distraught.

“Isn’t that the woman we injured?” Mia asked.

Shanyia jumped up and walked to the table. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you but-“

“Then why are you bothering me?” The woman asked as she looked up at Shanyia.

Shanyia nodded and turned to walk away.

The woman caught her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m just overwhelmed but I should t be rude to you. What is it?”

“Do you remember me?” Nyia started. “I was at the art studio-“

Realization formed in the woman’s eyes. “You’re not coming to sprain my other ankle are you? I just got where I can walk a little.” She giggled.

Shanyia sighed. “I’m so sorry! I wanna give you this for your trouble.” She handed the check to her.

Her eyes widened. It was a check for the equivalence of $300 USD. “No, I can’t take this!” She tried handing it back.

“Yes you can. You have no choice and after what I just witnessed you deserve a ‘pick me up’.” Shanyia smiled and walked back towards their table.

“Well at least tell me your name!” The woman called after her.

Shanyia giggled. “Oh I’m Shanyia. And yours?”

The woman smiled kindly. “Jada.”

[waterturnsback]

At the risk of being overly earnest...

All of this blog post will go after the jump because no one should read it, and I’ll probably delete it later.

Today is July 20, and without fail, it is the hottest day of the year. Dark Sky says it is 93 degrees but feels like 98 degrees. MyRadar says it is 92 degrees and feels like 96 degrees. The default iPhone weather app says it is 93 degrees and feels like 99 degrees. It is 7:25 p.m. It is awful.

Every summer, this stretch of days is the most oppressive of the year. The preheating of our sidewalks and streets is over, and it is time to bake. The humidity rolls in to make it a sauna. It is awful. It helps me remember everything.

There are too many events tied to this week. From July 17 through July 24, give or take a few days on either end, I can lay out formative events since 2008. Timehop and Facebook Memories have jarred my brain over the past few days and reminded me of what I miss, what I savor and what has shaped me to this point.

In 2008, Anna and I went to Whartscape in Baltimore on July 20. I took the above photo of Sam Herring of Future Islands there. I used to pinpoint this day as my shift into truly being “cool,” which is a concept that doesn’t quite age well. But we saw Future Islands, Dan Deacon, a Girl Talk side project, Adventure, Parts & Labor, Double Dagger, Ponytail and so many more. There were a bunch of weirdos in a parking lot in Baltimore. I was 16, and I hadn’t been around that before. It was something I wanted to be a part of in the future. It ruled. I am bummed I did not write about this day on the 10-year anniversary two years ago and that it came up quickly this year. Maybe for the 13th anniversary? It was a hot day. Black Dice’s set to close the night got canceled when a storm blew through, and Anna and I got lost in Baltimore in the storm.

Two days earlier, Anna and I went to Artscape to see The Oranges Band, one of the criminally underrated Baltimore bands of the 2000s. Anna was super into them in the early/mid-2000s, and I think they just weren’t weird enough to carve out the longevity and brain space of some of the Whartscape acts. It was fun. It was hot.

One day earlier, Scooter + Jinx played its last show (I don’t think we played again after that?) at the Shamrock Park bandshell. It was acoustic with me, Anna and Benn, and we covered Wilco (three times!), The White Stripes, Silversun Pickups, The Thermals, Cold War Kids, Pixies and I really can’t bear to watch any more of the videos to figure out what else we played. It was a lot. Earlier, I played guitar for Ashley, who sang, and we played some originals and covered Ted Leo. That was the night where Kate and I said we “liked” each other. It was a big deal at the time.

In 2009, there was another outdoor concert at the bandshell the same weekend. I performed alone as Wapinitia, and then Benn accompanied me on a drum for a “Death Valley ‘69″ cover and a Polar Bear Club cover. I played a ton of originals that I know longer remember how to play, though I find the set list for that night when I was cleaning out my room last week and packed it away in a box.

A couple people spent that summer trying to set me up with Elisabeth, and I had been listening to them, despite a couple disastrous encounters a month earlier. The Rita’s/Wendy’s setup will live in infamy. But I tried, and then I realized that I just didn’t care. So I hung out with Kyle and we talked to whole time. I was disillusioned that summer, but I was 17, so it makes sense.

In 2010, I do not really remember what I was doing. The IronBirds were on the road that weekend, so I was not working. I know I went back to Shamrock Park at night and just kind of walked around because I was sad and lonely (lol). My high school graduation party, which doubled as Anna’s college graduation party and my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary part, was in a couple days, so we were cleaning.

In 2011, I went to New York for the weekend. On July 22, Anna and I sat at the Williamsburg Waterfront and watched Death From Above 1979 perform from a distance. It was a hot night. The next day, Molly P. met up with us, and we went to the Prospect Park Zoo before seeing The Feelies, Real Estate and Times New Viking. We saw Real Estate in May and Anna was at the 285 Kent show in June where the band played its new album front to back, so we were seeing the evolution of the Days songs in the live environment. It was a great show, and I think I tried to drink some coconut water and immediately spit it out. Otherwise, Anna kept getting us wine.

From Prospect Park, we went to Shea Stadium and caught Andrew Cedermark’s set to close a bill that had also featured Dustin Wong. It was $7 per person to get in, or something like that, but Anna hustled Patrick Stickles at the door to let the three of us in for $7 because there was only one band left. We were drinking out on the Shea Stadium balcony, and Molly P. told me that she wished she hadn’t agreed to go see ODDSAC with me instead of going to senior prom the week before. I can’t argue with that. I texted Molly M. that I liked her.

Jeffery and Kia were at 285 Kent, so we went down to the water from Shea and wound up seeing Pictureplane at some insane hour of the night. It was so hot in 285. My phone said it was 88 degrees outside or something along those lines, and I got a chill when I walked out of 285. Someone was handing out watermelon, and it was hot. I don’t know how I survived that day. The mass shooting in Norway also happened that weekend.

The next day, Molly M. and I talked about the night before, and I said, “It’s real.” We wandered Williamsburg that day before going to Hoboken to see Real Estate and Dent May at Maxwell’s.

In 2012, Grandpa and Grandma died during the week, so I was a mess (though I did see Shut Up And Play The Hits in theaters, and it was good). I was going to New York anyway July 20, but I called out of my internship and got on an earlier bus. Anna picked me up from the MegaBus and we just kind of wandered Manhattan. The Aurora mass shooting happened the night before, too. I don’t remember where we got dinner, other than we got Mexican. We went out to Ridgewood Queens and then got ready. Molly M. was home in San Diego that weekend, so I didn’t have to walk on eggshells at Emily’s apartment on Havermeyer. Diana was in a fun mood, along with Becky, and Anastassia, Molly K. and Marc B. were also there (and more probably met up with us?). We pregamed pretty hard, and there are a bunch of hilarious photos that are now gone from Facebook because Becky deactivated last week. We went to the Woods and then some random house party in Williamsburg. There are a bunch of goofy pictures of me and Emily in the backyard, and Emily fell asleep on a bike(?).

The next day, Anna and I met up with Dent May at Grand Ferry Park and interviewed him for about 20 minutes. It was a perfect interview, and he tapped into a lot of what me and Anna were feeling psychically without knowing what we were going through. It was a beautiful night, and it was just really cool to talk to him. He was playing Glasslands, and since I was 20, I couldn’t go, so me and Anna met up with Anastassia and went to House of Vans to see Dum Dum Girls and Widowspeak. Anna and Anastassia stood inside the alcohol area, while I stood on the other side of the fence to talk to them. The sets were good, and then Anna and I went back to 285 to see Iceage. It was nuts. There were real punks there, and the indie kids weren’t ready for it.

On Sunday, July 22, Anna and I went down to DUMBO with Anastassia, and we walked the Brooklyn Bridge. It was cool. I still do not understand the logic of riding your bike across the bridge if you are a serious biker, but the views were great and it wasn’t too hot. We wandered Manhattan a little bit and then took the ferry back. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen, and it was a satisfying end to the weekend during an awful time. Emily and Diana met up with us at American Apparel. Everyone agreed it was one of the most fun weekends of the summer, and it happened while Molly M. was away. Hm.

On Monday, we went to see Beach House in Central Park. Marc P. got the ticket that was supposed to be for Molly M. It rained. Lower Dens opened. It was beautiful. Anastassia watched from outside the fence, and we all went back to Brooklyn together. I was taking the bus home the next afternoon, so Anastassia and I met up in Williamsburg in the morning and went to Co-Op 87. I bought her a Widowspeak 7″, and we went over to Manhattan and I got pho for the first time in my life. It remains one of my favorite weekends under the worst circumstances.

In 2013, it was again one of the hottest days of the year. Me, Dan and Rob drove to Annapolis on July 19, and it was miserable. We tried to walk around. I did a phone interview with someone on the street. We got ice cream, and then we went back to College Park. On July 20, I went to Baltimore and met up with Seth and Ryan at an Irish bar on the Inner Harbor where we were going to meet Colleen for her birthday, but her flight got screwed up, so me, Seth and Ryan just watched the pirate boat in the harbor and the lightning.

In 2014, I was alone in California, so I drove out to Pomona to go to the Viva Pomona festival. I saw Thee Oh Sees, Fuzz and Terry Malts. I bought Worry by Big Troubles on vinyl from a record store out there. It was cool. I think that was the same weekend I watched an entire season of House of Cards, went to The Geffen Contemporary to see the Mike Kelley exhibit and then met up with Jack in Echo Park.

In 2015, I came home from covering a girls youth soccer tournament in Richmond and went to see No Age at the H&H Building on the hottest day of the year. They were good. No one was really there. A couple days later, I got my first real job at The Sun.

In 2016, I hadn’t taken my job at PennLive yet, but it was getting close. On July 23, we went to an Orioles game with a pretty deep crew, and it turned into a long day. It was so hot and so humid. It was raining, but there were no clouds over us. Jack said it was like the sky was crying.

In 2017, we spent a night in D.C. We were trying to use Brad & Mike’s pool because it was so hot, but then it thunderstormed.

In 2018, we were on our way to Western Maryland for a weekend at Deep Creek Lake. I got pulled over for speeding leaving Cumberland, but I got let off with a warning because I pulled over right when the guy waved me down. It was a good weekend. I think that was really the first time I started drinking a lot of White Claw. We got taquitos for the lake house, and it was the best food decision we made that weekend. Later, that weekend, I thought I lost my phone. I didn’t.

In 2019, we were in Denver. It was fine.

In 2020, I am sitting in my apartment waiting for a mattress to be delivered so I can throw out my old one and my futon frame in the trash tonight and then set up my room. I am so close to getting there.

[newhopegeorgie]

reunited I r.b

(hello! i’ve been away on vacation but i’m finally back with another one shot. this one was based on a request from the very kind @wallows-spring. i hope you enjoy it! if it isn’t exactly what you wanted or envisioned then feel free to send in another request with some more details and i’d be happy to rewrite it for you! anyways, hope you all like it, feedback is always appreciated and requests are open if you’d like to send one in <3)

When New Hope Club announced that they were finally doing a show in your home country you were ecstatic. You’d been following the band since the beginning and only been able to see them perform live once. That was a year ago. You’d begged your mom to let you travel to a different country to go see their show and thankfully she decided to let you. Of course, you’d interacted with the boys on social media, they even followed you, but it wasn’t anywhere near the same as seeing them in person, and you really missed them.

But they’d just released some new tour dates and finally, your country was one of them. It took you no time at all to secure your tickets, making sure you were going to the meet and greet as well. You posted a screenshot on Twitter, tagging the boys and expressing your excitement for the show.

A few minutes later your phone dinged. You didn’t really think anything of it until it started blowing up with notifications. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and went to see what was going on. Your mentions on Twitter were going insane with your followers and some friends congratulating you. You wondered what it was you did that warranted congratulations, but then you realized. A few minutes ago, Reece had replied to your tweet about your tickets.

@ NewHopeReece: So happy you’re excited love. Can’t wait to see you it’s been so long xx

You’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t jump as you read his tweet. You were surprised by his message, definitely not thinking he’d ever remembered having met you before. The butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and you only felt more excited to meet the boys, despite your show being about two months away.

As the day got closer you posted updates on Twitter, not being able to contain yourself. Every few days you’d send out ‘29 more days!’ or an ‘only 2 weeks left !!’. And every time, without fail, Reece would like your tweet. He almost seemed more excited than you were, not that you were complaining. 

Your show was the next day and you felt bits of your excitement turn to nerves. You’re overthinking had taken up most of the space in your brain, meaning to have posted a ‘tomorrow!’ update on Twitter but completely forgetting. A notification on your phone broke through your loud thoughts and you went to see what it was. A new tweet from Reece.

@ NewHopeReece: one more day! @ yourtwitter x

You swore felt your heart stop for a second. Had he been counting down too? You quickly retweeted it and sent it to your friends, being met back with ‘he’s def in love w you’ and ‘you guys are my faves’. You laughed softly at their responses before continuing on with your day. Your mentions were full of other fans saying how cute they thought it was or how they couldn’t wait to see videos of you and Reece meeting. All the kind words made you smile.

That night you couldn’t sleep. You were way too excited to shut your eyes for more than 2 minutes, let alone enough time for you to actually drift off. You’d already spent much of your time procrastinating sleeping. You’d picked out what you were going to wear, practiced your hair and your makeup. Hell you’d even practiced faces to make in your pictures with the boys, you told yourself it was so you didn’t have to worry about not liking your pictures, so you felt less silly about the whole thing. You really didn’t want to be tired though, so you willed your body to sleep despite your racing thoughts trying to keep you up.

•••

The next morning was kind of a blur. You were practically on autopilot as you got ready. All your brain could seem to do was theorize every possible way you could screw this up. You tried not to dwell on it but the thoughts kept nagging you at the back of your mind. You friends had come over not too long ago to get ready with you, as you were all going to the show together. They’d helped put your mind at ease, telling you Reece was probably even more nervous than you, making you chuckle a bit.

“Seriously Y/N, I’m pretty sure you have nothing to worry about,” one of them reassured you.

“Yeah, literally listen to what he just tweeted. ‘@ yourtwitter todays the day x’. Even he’s counting down,” another said with a laugh. Their words made you feel a bit better about the situation and you decided to stop worrying and just let yourself enjoy the night. 

After everyone was finished getting ready, you all headed out. The meet and greet didn’t even start for a few hours so you and your friends decided to go get lunch first. You took a picture of your meal, and your friends sitting across the table from you and posted it to Twitter. 

@ yourtwitter: concert pregame with these girlies lol

A few minutes later you got a notification. And, yet again, Reece responded to you.

@ NewHopeReece: Didn’t even invite me? I’m hurt @ yourtwitter

You gaped at his message, quickly turning your phone to show your friends what he’d said. “What am I supposed to say?” you asked them. Your friend took your phone from your hands, typing out a response and sending it before handing your phone back to you.

@ yourtwitter: haha i’ll bring you something i promise xx @ NewHopeReece

You laughed at her message, thinking it was funny and that’d be the end of the conversation. But not even a minute later Reece tweeted at you again.

@ NewHopeReece: I’m holding you too that ;) @ yourtwitter

“I was kidding when I put that but now you really have to get him something,” your friend said laughing. You rolled your eyes at her, making a mental note to buy him a cookie on your way out of the cafe.

It was finally time for the meet and greet and you and your friends had just entered the venue. You definitely weren’t the first ones there but you also weren’t too far back in line so you were happy. You felt your excitement rising as you waited, gradually moving closer to the boys. You chatted happily with your group, the cookie you’d bought for Reece held in your hands. The boys were stood in order of George, then Blake, and Reece at the end so you were going to meet him last.

As you got to the front of the line your friends hastily pushed you forward to go first. You approached George with a wide smile on your face. He welcomed you with open arms, saying hello to you. You hugged him tightly and asked him for a picture together. He was incredibly sweet just as you’d expected. The two of you got to talk for about a minute before you were ushered to move on.

When you got to Blake it went about the same as with George. Hugs and pictures and getting to chat for a bit. “Reece is very excited to see you,” he said, handing your phone to you after getting a couple pictures. You let out a giddy laugh, “Seriously?” you asked him. He nodded his head quickly at you. “Hasn’t stopped talking about it. You might wanna go say hi before he shouts at me for taking up all your time.” He said lightheartedly. He gave you one last hug before sending you on your way towards Reece.

His face brightened as he saw you, immediately scooping you up into a tight embrace. “Reunited at last!” he shouted. A few fans that were in line laughed at your little reunion. “It's been so long, I’ve missed you, love!” He let you out of his hug and held your arms, keeping you close as he spoke to you.

“I know, it's been forever!”

“Do you want a picture?” he asked, gesturing to your phone. You nodded and he took it from your grasp, throwing his arm around your waist to take a few photos with you. You thanked him once he was done, shoving your phone into your pocket. “Now if I’m not mistaken, you promised me something earlier.” He said in a teasing tone. 

“I did promise you something,” you laughed. You handed him the cookie that you’d gotten for him, “I don’t break promises Bibby,” you said, teasing him back. His face lit up as he took it from you.

“I thought you were joking! Wow, you really are the best,” he said to you, pulling you into his side for another hug. You smiled brightly at him, gladly accepting his warm embrace.

“I’m kind of sad, I don’t want to wait another year to see you again,” you frowned, a half-hearted laugh escaping your lips. Reece placed the cookie on a table not too far from him, frowning at your statement.

“Awe, love I don’t either. I promise we’ll figure something out, I won’t make you wait long.”He looked you in the eyes and for some reason, you trusted that he meant it. One of the event coordinators was trying to move you along, saying you were out of time. Reece hugged you one last time before you had to leave. “The boys and I have a free day tomorrow before we leave, I’ll dm you,” he whispered to you. The coordinator was now rushing you off, getting impatient. You smiled at him, saying goodbye as you left, not before seeing Reece send you a subtle wink.

After the meet and greet you got to enjoy the concert. It was amazing, exceeding all your expectations. It went by far too quickly for your liking and before you knew it, you and your friends were leaving the venue. You all talked a mile a minute, recounting everything that's gone on the past few hours. Your Twitter was flooded yet again and you wondered what's happened.

You opened the app to find countless videos of your interaction with Reece. People were tagging you and him, saying how they shipped you two or thought you guys were adorable. You smiled at the messages, liking and retweeting a few that made you laugh. You wondered to yourself if Reece was actually serious about dming you like he said he would. Of course, you wanted nothing more than to receive a message from him, but then again he was Reece Bibby so you didn’t get your hopes up.

•••

 The next day you woke up to the sun shining in your eyes. You smiled to yourself, replaying the previous day over in your mind. You rolled over in bed to go through your phone, much like you did every morning. You’d gone through most of your social media, tapping on the Twitter icon last, opening up the app. You saw a dm notification and furrowed your eyebrows, confused. When you clicked on it you felt your heart jump to your throat, not believing what you had just read.

From @ NewHopeReece: Hey love, it’s Reece. You busy today? x

[darecruit]

Sneak Peek: Open Arms Ch. 15

Chapter 15: Tension

  Sunday morning found Shelby on the porch swing, nursing a cup of coffee and enjoying the stillness of the early hour. She was the only one up again, something that was becoming a surprising routine. Shelby never would have thought she’d turn into a morning person; being on Broadway had always lent itself to sleeping in whenever she had the chance, but she was starting to enjoy the peacefulness and quiet that the mornings offered. She enjoyed it even more knowing her child was fast asleep in her bed, no longer feeling the need to wake up at the crack of dawn like she had those first few weeks with Shelby. Rachel was learning that she was safe to be a kid with her mom and didn’t have to do anything special in order to have Shelby’s attention and love.

  That was even more true now that Shelby had talked to her parents and siblings and explained their need for a little bit of space. Everyone had been more than understanding and mother and daughter had now had two blissful days with absolutely no interruptions. They were having a great time just the two of them and today would be no different—especially since today was also one of those rare Sundays when the weekly family dinner wasn’t happening.

  Shelby had decided late last night, after Rachel had gone to bed, that they should take advantage of the special circumstances and planned a surprise for her girl. She had been worried at first that the last minute of it all would work against her, but thankfully that wasn’t the case. Tickets bought and hotel room booked, Shelby packed an overnight bag for her and Rachel and then went to bed feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve.

  Excitement growing, Shelby checked the time on her phone. 8:01. Time to wake up her slumbering daughter and get her ready for their adventure. She finished the last of her coffee and then rushed into the house. She was so excited!

  By ten o’clock, mother and daughter were ready to get going on their trip to Columbus. Despite Rachel’s incessant badgering, Shelby had only told her that they were going to a matinee in Columbus today. She wouldn’t give any other details, not about the show or that she had booked a hotel room, not even about where they would go to dinner that evening. She wanted the entire thing to be a surprise; the fact that her doing so was driving Rachel crazy was just an added bonus.

  “Baby, just relax and enjoy the adventure! It’s fun!” Shelby laughed as she shooed the girl out the front door.

  “I can only relax if I know exactly what’s happening,” Rachel countered.

  “But then it wouldn’t be a surprise,” Shelby said as she locked up the house. She turned Rachel towards the car and sent her along with two firm pats to her bottom.

  “And that’s more than okay with me!” Rachel said over her shoulder as she flounced down the front steps.

  “Hush, you, or I won’t let you play DJ in the car!” Shelby called after her.

  “Guess it’s a good thing I like all of the same music as you do then,” Rachel laughed as her mom joined her at the car. “You’re really not going to tell me anything else about our ‘adventure’?” Rachel used her good hand to make air quotes and then giggled at the look her mother gave her.

  “I’m really not,” Shelby confirmed with a shake of her head. “Get in the car, you brat.” She unlocked the car and pushed her kid towards the passenger side, laughing as she did, when the sound of the door closing next door caught her attention.

  “Oh! Hi there!” Shelby called to the two young women now walking toward their own car. “Rachel, come say hello with me.”

  “Mom, we have to go,” Rachel whined and dragged her feet as Shelby pulled her along toward enemy lines.

  “I just want to say hello real quick,” Shelby said. “Hi, Quinn!”

  “Hi, Shelby!” Quinn beamed. “Hi, Rachel,” she offered after a slight pause. She didn’t miss the glare the smaller teen threw her way, but she tried to ignore it.

  Rachel huffed but her mother nudged her, then whispered so only Rachel could hear, “Be nice.”

  “Hi,” Rachel grumbled. 

  Shelby took a breath, making a mental note to talk to her child about patience, then smiled at the two blondes across from her. She extended her hand to the older of the pair and introduced herself.

  “Wow. Hi, Shelby, I—wow. I didn’t believe Quinn when she first told me who moved in but wow,” Frannie couldn’t help gush. She felt her sister elbow her hard in the ribs and nudged her back. “I’m Frannie.”

  The older version of Quinn then turned green eyes onto Rachel and gave her a warm smile. “Hi, Rachel. It’s nice to meet you.”

  Rachel frowned ever so slightly. Frannie was the enemy-by-association, and yet, Rachel couldn’t help but feel more at ease with her. She may look just like Quinn (or rather, Quinn just like her), but there was a warmth and kindness in Frannie’s eyes that Rachel had never seen in Quinn’s—at least, not directed towards her.

  “It’s nice to meet you too,” she finally said, and meant it.

  More pleasantries were exchanged and Rachel was getting antsy; a gentle hand on her back calmed her some, but not enough.

  “You both look stunning,” Frannie complimented, awestruck. Shelby stood there, a literal goddess in her stylish black jumpsuit with a Florentine two-layered top and black peep-toe platform pumps. And Rachel, a younger but just as beautiful version of her mother, dressed in a blue and white polka dot trapeze summer dress; it was mature yet age-appropriate, paired with simple black ballet flats. Their look was effortless—cute, but not too fancy. 

Suddenly, in her favorite, faded denim shorts with the hole forming in the back right pocket and an old Madonna concert t-shirt, her hair pulled back in an extra-messy bun, Frannie felt like a bridge troll. A quick look towards her sister made her think Quinn must be feeling similar.

 Quinn took in both ladies’ outfits. Her sister was right, they were stunning. Shelby would look stunning even in a burlap sack, but Rachel, well…Rachel looked nice like this. Pretty, even. Quinn supposed, if she were being honest, Rachel had always been pretty. The girl was the spitting image of Shelby, for one, and Shelby was gorgeous. Maybe it had always been harder to tell because of how Rachel dressed in school. But there were no plaid pleated skirts or animal sweaters in sight. And okay, it was summer and Rachel wouldn’t be wearing sweaters anyway, but come to think of it, she remembered that Rachel had been dressed normally on Thursday, in a t-shirt and cotton shorts. Quinn didn’t like the annoying, over-the-top Rachel she knew from school, but this Rachel—this pretty, well-dressed, more reserved Rachel—she could get on board with. This Rachel she could be friends with.

 “Oh, thank you—you’re so sweet,” Shelby smiled graciously. “We’re taking a trip to Columbus today, seeing a show…”

 Rachel groaned and rolled her eyes, no longer paying any attention to the conversation. She grabbed the keys from her mother, surprising the woman, but before Shelby could say anything, Rachel was already half way to the car. She slammed the passenger side door shut, leaned over to put the key in the ignition, and turned.

 Shelby sighed and shook her head, turning apologetic eyes back onto Frannie. “You’ll have to excuse Rachel, she’s super excited for our trip. It’s a surprise for her and she’s a bit antsy to get going,” Shelby explained.

 “Oh! Well we won’t keep you. It was so nice to meet you, Shelby. I—um—I’m sure we’ll be seeing you around,” Frannie said, hoping she sounded poised and relaxed. She was anything but on the inside, but she didn’t want Shelby to know that. She wanted to tell Shelby she could come over any time, maybe for a coffee or something, but didn’t want to be presumptuous.

  “Absolutely!” Shelby beamed. “Tell you what,” she added, an idea forming, “Why don’t you two come to dinner—how’s tomorrow night? We can all get to know one another better.”

 Quinn nodded vigorously, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She had been trying to figure out a way to get back into the yellow house for two full days now. She hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Shelby and Rachel since Thursday, and while she had been texting with Lexi since then, she hadn’t seen the blonde teenager over again either. This was the break Quinn had been waiting for!

 “Oh, we’d love to,” Frannie said, and Quinn’s excitement mounted. “But we can’t tomorrow, unfortunately.”

 Just as quickly as it came, Quinn’s excitement was squashed. “Why can’t we?” she whined.

 Frannie rolled her eyes at her sister’s whine and nudged the girl. “We already have plans tomorrow, remember?”

 Quinn frowned and narrowed her eyes at her big sister as she tried to remember what their plans were. “Aw no, Frannie, we can cancel. It’s just Kimmy!” she said, referring to her sister’s best friend and the bi-weekly dinner/movie/game night that she had somehow forgotten about.

 “We’re not cancelling,” her sister said firmly. Quinn groaned; only her sister would turn down Shelby Corcoran’s invitation to dinner to see a friend she sees all the time anyway. The teen had been dying to hang out with Shelby again and her big, dumb sister was squandering that chance and ruining her life! She was just opening her mouth to argue when Frannie then added, “We’re free on Tuesday, though.”

  “Tuesday it is then! Is lasagna okay with you?” Shelby said.

 Quinn beamed and nodded her head vigorously. Things were working out after all. And lasagna was her favorite!

 “That sounds great. I’ll make a salad and bring some fresh Italian bread. Is there anything else I can bring?” Frannie offered.

 “No, not at—” Shelby began only to be interrupted by a drawn out honk of her car’s horn. She turned her head in the direction of her daughter and scowled. “Rachel!” she scolded, knowing the girl couldn’t see her. She could hear her though.

 Rachel huffed and laid on the horn again. What was taking her mom so long? They needed to get going! Rachel may not know what show they were seeing, but she knew they needed to get there early. And her mother wasting time talking to the Fabray sisters wasn’t helping.

 The driver’s side door opened, startling Rachel slightly. She sat up from her leaned over position to reach the horn and noticed the stern expression on her mother’s face.

 “That was extremely rude, Rachel Barbra,” Shelby scolded as she climbed into her seat.

 “Mom, we’re going to be late,” Rachel said as way of explanation.

 “The show doesn’t start until 2pm. It will take us two hours tops to get to Columbus. We’re fine. You need to learn some patience, young lady.”

 “Mom,” Rachel whined, not liking being told off one bit. This was all Quinn’s fault anyway. Quinn and Frannie. Why did they have to choose that exact moment to come outside anyway? If only they had waited a few more minutes, she and her mom would have been happily on their way, and Rachel wouldn’t be getting that look from her mother right now.

 “Don’t you ‘Mom’ me, young lady,” Shelby chided, her tone firm. “I understand you’re excited and anxious to get going, but that’s no excuse for honking the horn like you did—twice. I know you heard me calling your name after the first time.”

 “I was trying to get your attention,” Rachel pouted.

 “I understand that too,” said Shelby as she buckled her seatbelt. “But we have already had a conversation this week about patience and not interrupting conversations, haven’t we? It’s rude, Rachel, and I will not tolerate it. Is that understood?”

 Rachel sighed and lowered her eyes to her lap. Her mom was doing a good job of making her feel guilty—something Rachel didn’t ever want to feel in association with Quinn. “Yes, ma’am,” she relented.

 “Good,” Shelby said as she backed out of the driveway, “Because if we have to go over this a third time, it’ll end in a lengthy discussion with you over my lap. Clear?”

 Rachel couldn’t help the gasp that slipped from her lips, nor the squirming she was now doing in her seat. “Don’t give me that look,” Shelby said, and Rachel only then realized she was gawking, mouth hanging wide open. She shut it with an audible snap and looked away. “I’m giving you fair warning. This behavior is disrespectful and you know perfectly well how I feel about that.”

 Rachel worried her lip with her teeth as she flicked her eyes back over to her mother. She caught that scary raised eyebrow that Shelby did so well and hung her head, shifting uneasily. With a long sigh, she turned her attention out the window, watching the neighborhood pass by as they headed toward the main road; she used that time to collect her thoughts.

 “I don’t actually mean to be disrespectful, you know,” she finally said, casting a cautious glance towards her mom. She was relieved to see that the woman’s expression had softened.

 Shelby felt a pang of guilt at her daughter’s words and realized how true they were. Rachel didn’t mean to be disrespectful, she was just never taught. Same as she was never taught that she needed to ask permission and let Shelby know where she was and who she was with at all times. Shelby would have to do better at remembering that and give her child the benefit of the doubt. She couldn’t fault her for not knowing what she didn’t know.

 “I know that, sweetheart,” Shelby offered her child a small smile and reached over to pat the girl’s knee. “But I need you to work on your patience and waiting to get my attention in a calm, polite manner. You don’t like when our time is interrupted by unexpected visits, right? It’s the same concept here, kiddo. I need you to remember how that makes you feel and then be more aware of others’ feelings too, okay?”

  Rachel sighed and nodded, looking down at her lap. “Yeah, okay,” she agreed in a subdued tone. “I’m sorry.”

 “It’s okay, baby. You’re learning. You’re going to make mistakes, but as long as you try to do better each time, I can’t ask for anything more,” Shelby said, patting Rachel’s knee once more before moving her hand back to the steering wheel. “Now enough of this talk—I have good news. I invited Frannie and Quinn over for dinner on Tuesday.”

 Rachel nearly choked on her own spit at her mother’s revelation and whipped her head up to stare incredulously at her. “You’re kidding!” she gasped. “Mom, we don’t—we don’t even know them!”

 “And that’s why I invited them to dinner—so we can get to know them,” Shelby laughed lightly. “It’ll be fun! And that gives you some time to get to know Quinn one-on-one.”

 Rachel didn’t want to do anything one-on-one with Quinn, unless it involved pushing Quinn off a very high cliff, and she didn’t think her mother would like that response. She’d probably say it was rude, Rachel thought ruefully. Instead, she remained silent and thought up ways to get out of that dinner. Maybe she could play sick, or break another limb—a leg this time, perhaps?

[akinnie75]

Replacement

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Slow Burn, Fantasy

Word Count: 24.5k

Summary: You’re an ordinary girl who’s a huge fan of the famous celebrity, Jin. After getting into a fight with a woman, you wake up the next morning in the hospital, and right next to you is Jin. You discover that you’ve switched bodies with the woman you fought with, and she happens to be Jin’s girlfriend.

You’ve been giddy the whole time you’ve been in class, which is starting to annoy your friend. Your friend thinks that you look like an idiot for smiling without any reason, making yourself look like a psychotic woman. It’s as if you’re not paying attention to tonight’s lecture and instead off somewhere else.

Your friend nudges you on the side, poking right in the rib. You jump and a bit irritated at your friend for doing that without warning.

“What??” You whisper aggressively.

“Stop jumping up and down! You’re not a kid!” Your friend whispers back.

You know that you’re not, but you can’t help but be excited. Your friend wouldn’t understand. You acknowledge that you should stop, but you still can’t wipe that goofy smile off of your face.

“Sorry.” You chuckle to yourself.

After your late night class has ended, you and your friend exit out of the lecture hall along with the other students.

Your friend yawns. “God, if this class wasn’t an upper division, then I would skip it all the time. I mean, who has time to even go to class this late?”

“You wouldn’t be doing anything anyways. You’d just be playing video games or watch your dramas.” You raise an eyebrow.

Feeling as though you’re looking down on her for using her free time for that, your friend starts sulking. “At least I don’t waste my time watching the same video of Jin!”

You blush slightly, telling her to hush, worried that other people might overhear you two. “Shh! Don’t say that so loudly. What if other people hear?”

“Excuse me? I’m not the one who makes it obvious that I’m in love with Jin. Let’s say for example...today during lecture. You were getting all excited for a dumb reason.”

“It’s not dumb! Anyone in my position would be happy!”

The reason for your ecstatic behavior is because after years of being a fan of BTS, specifically for Jin, you bought a ticket to see their concert. They’re currently holding a tour, and they’ll be coming to your town, so you took this opportunity to buy a ticket.

You were worried that you weren’t going to be able to buy a ticket. BTS has been the current trend, and you jumped into the fandom rather late, so there was a high chance that you weren’t going to be able to purchase one. Unfortunately, you were right, and you weren’t able to buy one day of. But as the date draws nearer, you were able to buy one ticket for yourself from a fan who’s re-selling it online.

In a month, you’ll see your favorite band of all time, and you’re going to see Jin in real life. Unfortunately, your friend is going to be busy that day, so you’ll be going alone. Still, that’s better than not going. If anything, you can always make new friends at the performance.

“Anyways, I’m hungry. Wanna go to that Chinese place? I heard that they go a special deal when you order their chicken chow mein on Tuesdays.”

“Oh, okay! Let’s go!”

------

You and your friend finished eating three large plates worth of food, and you two are stuffed. You pat your belly, wishing you can be ill-mannered just for a moment to unbutton the top button of your jeans to free your round stomach. Your friend is just as full, using a toothpick to take out the food between her teeth.

The waitress sets the check down, along with two fortune cookies. You both thank her for the check, and she wishes you two to have a good night. You two split the bill half, paying your portion of meals, and she pays her own. After handing your friend the money, you crack open the fortune cookie but head straight to the slim piece of paper to read your fortune.

You read aloud, “‘Your life is about to take a huge turn in the near future.’ Hmm, that’s interesting.”

“Makes sense, you are going to a BTS concert pretty soon. Who knows, maybe seeing them perform live will change you or something.���

“But I wonder what is considered as ‘near’. Like, isn’t it defined differently for different people? I feel like a month is too long to be considered near.”

“Don’t fret too much about it. It’s just a piece of paper made from a factory.” Your friend cracks open her fortune cookie and eats the broken pieces of it.

You shrug your shoulders, keeping the paper in your pocket while you shove one half of the cookie in your mouth. Your friend is right, fortune cookies are just pieces of paper that are very vague so that anyone can relate to it. If anything, it’s not even real.

------

“Bye! See you tomorrow!” You wave goodbye to your friend as you two walk opposite directions.

“Make sure you’re safe before you get home! See you tomorrow.” Your friend gives you a farewell.

You turn around, walking back to your house and call it a night. Though you will be walking back to your apartment alone, you aren’t paranoid because there are there cars driving through the streets.

Today has been a long day of anticipation of whether or not you’ll get the ticket, then spending the rest of your afternoon and evening in class. It sure was hectic, but it was still another fun day nonetheless.

But you know that the highlight of your day was buying the ticket. The physical copy won’t come in until a couple days later, but you’re still excited nonetheless. You can’t help but laugh to yourself, covering your mouth so that no one thinks you’re strange for giggling to yourself. You’re going to see Jin in real life, so of course, you’d be happy.

Because you were lost in your wonderland, you accidentally bump shoulders with a woman. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

The first thing that catches your attention is the strong stench of alcohol coming from her body. One glance at her, and you can already tell that she’s a beautiful woman. Her body is idealistically thin for the Hollywood look, and her long, blond hair excretes her beauty even more. However, the woman looks as if she’s staggering, unable to keep her own balance in her black heels. Seeing how drunk she looks, you almost feel as if you should help her return home.

“You fucking bitch…” the woman calls you, words slurring.

“Uhm, excuse me?”

The woman grabs you by the collar of your shirt, pulling you close to her as if picking a fight with you. “Do you know who I am?!”

“Please stop! I didn’t mean to run into you!” You exclaim.

But the woman doesn’t hear you. “I deserve some respect, goddammit! Don’t think that just because you said sorry means anything. I can sue you and squeeze out every single penny that you have.”

Her breath is unbearable, surrounding your bubble with nothing but the smell of the drinks she had tonight. Not wanting to get into an argument with her, you try to pull her hands off of you.

“I’ll call the police if you don’t let me go!”

She pulls you close to her. “Call them. When they know who I am, then they’ll side with me in no time.”

You’re able to fight her hands off of you, but she grips onto a lock of your hair, pulling you down. Since she isn’t backing down whatsoever, you’re now fighting back. You scratch her on the arm, pulling the strap of her golden dress down as any source of getting her off of you. But nothing works, as she’s glued onto you, pulling your hair and scratching your face.

Even though there are many cars driving by, no one stops to intervene. No one is on the sidewalk but you and the woman. You keep trying to pull yourself back to get away from the woman, but she refuses to get off of you. No matter how hard to try to fight her off, she won’t let go.

Because you’ve been so focused on her, you forgot about your surroundings. While walking backward, your right thigh accidentally hits a bike rack that’s right by the end of the sidewalk, next to the street. You trip, falling backward right into the street, along with the woman. With both of you on the street, you’re now exposed to the possibility of getting hit by a potential car. You try to get the woman off to save yourself from the oncoming cars.

But it’s too late, and a car hits you two.

------

The constant sound of a beeping wakes you up. It’s rhythmic but slow. You open your eyes slowly, and the first thing you see is a stark white ceiling, not your popcorn-filled ceiling. The pillow you’re laying on feels fluffier than your usual pillow. Everything looks too bright, like seeing sunlight after having your windows closed for a long period.

You turn to your side, and there you see a heart monitor, and behind it is an IV drip. You trace the skinny tube, and you see that it’s attached to the crook of your elbow. You have no idea where you are and why you’re here.

You sit up, your vision turning black and your head becoming light-headed from getting up too quickly. Your body feels so weak as if all you feel inside of you is just skin and bones. You try to get off the bed, but suddenly the bed sets an alarm, which frightens you.

There are plastic borders on the side of the beds, and each side has a button, some to adjust the bed, and a few others are unfamiliar to you.

“Ma’am, please stay in your bed.” a voice says through the overhead speaker on the heart monitor.

It startles you, but then you calm down when you find where it’s coming from. After putting everything together, you realize that you’re in the hospital. You try to remember what happened before you were admitted here, and you do remember confronting a woman late at night. You remember bumping into her and her trying to fight you, but afterward, your mind is blank.

A woman in a nurse uniform enters the room, and she immediately greets you with a smile. “Good morning Miss Ellington, you’ve been sleeping for quite some time. How are you feeling?”

Did the woman just refer to you as ‘Miss Ellington’? At first, you think that she might be talking to someone else in the room or from outside, but there’s no one else.

“Let me check your blood pressure and get you a new IV.”

“Where am I…?”

Why does your own voice sound so unfamiliar to you too? It sounds higher-pitch than normal. You rub your throat, wondering if the incident altered your voice in any sort of way.

The woman applies the heart pressure pump on your upper arm. “You’re in the hospital. You got in front of an ongoing car, but thankfully you’re still alive. It would’ve been a waste to lose a model like you.”

‘A model’? What is she saying? “Excuse me, what?”

The nurse stares at you as if you should already know who you are, but you still have no idea what she’s talking about. Right after she checks your blood pressure, she takes off the pump and changes the IV pack. She tells you to have a good day and that the doctor will come to check on you.

Just right after the nurse leaves, a woman storms into the room with a worried expression. She’s a woman you’ve never seen before, wearing a navy blue suit, haircut right above her neck. She looks of Asian descent, and she looks a little oversized.

The woman marches to you, hugging you without warning. “Oh my god, Elaine. I’m so glad you’re okay…”

You’re so confused. You were called ‘Ellington’, then ‘Elaine’, so you have no clue what is going on. As much as you don’t want to ruin this sentiment moment between you and this woman, you push her away gently.

“Excuse me...who are you?”

She looks just as confused as you are. “Don’t you remember? It’s me, Rae, your manager.”

“Wh-what? No, no, I don’t have a manager. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can I talk to my parents?”

The woman who calls herself Rae has a look of horror as if something just went through her mind. “Oh god...don’t tell me…”

You look at your hands, and they’re slimmer than they usually are. Your nails are painted dark red, but also chipped, most likely due to the accident. The skin color is also not the same as your original. Feeling panicked, you have to confirm something.

You get up from the bed, and when you apply pressure on your feet, you nearly fell. It felt like it’s been a while since you walked, but you still have enough strength to take a few steps. You can hear your heart rate increase on the monitor as you drag the IV with you to the bathroom. Rae follows after you, worried that you might fall.

You stand in front of the mirror that hangs in the bathroom. But you feel like the world stopped moving when you laid eyes on your reflection. Who you see is not you...but the woman you ran into that night.

You touch your face, horrified that it’s not you in the mirror. You lean closer to make sure that it isn’t a fake, but it’s as real as any other mirror. You look down to see these unfamiliar hands shaking, and sweat starting to form from anxiety.

This has to be a dream, waking up as a different person. This can’t be real, but you felt the tight squeeze when the blood pressure pumper, and you can feel the needle inside your crook. You pull on the hair on your scalp, and you begin to scream from the top of your lungs.

Rae holds you by your shoulders. “Elaine, calm down!”

“My name isn’t Elaine! Don’t call me that!” You’re not in the right mind to think straight. “It’s not Elaine...It’s (Y/N).”

You push her off of you, no longer letting a stranger touch you so comfortably like this. You limp out of the bathroom, desperately wanting to get out. This isn’t real. This is only a dream. You have to hurry up and wake up. You still have school, your part-time job, your friends, your family. Everything.

Right when you walk out the door, you bump into someone, your face hitting their chest. You take a step back, and the person you bumped into holds onto your upper arms. You make eye contact with the person, and you’re taken aback, absolutely shocked to see who it is.

Who you see in front of you is none other than Jin—the one that you’ve admired and loved for so long. “Elaine? Are you alright? I heard you screaming.” He says with that same exact voice that you know and love, but this time, more real.

“J-Jin…? I...what…?” You can’t comprehend this whole situation.

Too many things are going on all at once. You wake up in a hospital in a different body, and the person in front of you is none other than Jin. You feel this sharp pain run across your brain. You’re head starts spinning, and it’s getting light-headed again. And the next thing you know, your vision turns black.

------

You’re finally conscious again, but your eyes are still closed. You can hear the sound of people talking all around you, probably two or three voices going on at once.

“We’ve checked her brainwaves, and she doesn’t have signs of amnesia.”

“So then how do you explain her memory loss??”

“Well...there is another possible solution to explain her case. You did mention before that Miss Ellington is suffering from borderline Dissociative Identity Disorder, yes?”

“Yes, what does it have to do with this?”

“Possibly due to the shock of the accident, the impact of the car might’ve hit her brain enough to give her high-inducing stress. Usually, when people with this disorder experience traumatic incidents, it increases their stress level, and they become disassociative with their personality. So they become a completely new person as a coping mechanism to deal with this trauma.”

“What are you saying?”

“Usually people create new personalities that closely relate to the trauma...and she did mention the name of the young woman she ran into that night.”

“So are you saying...that she thinks she’s the other woman from the accident??”

“...I can’t confirm it, but yes, it is a possibility. There is no other way to explain her condition right now.”

Rae combs her fingers through her hair, sighing frustratedly. “So then what can we do to fix this?! You do understand that her job is her livelihood, right?!”

“Yes Ma’am, I understand, but this isn’t an illness that can be solved with medication. Dissociative identity disorder is still a controversial topic. Not many professionals know much about it either.”

“Well we have to do something or else-” Rae is interrupted when you sit up, listening to their conversation. “Elaine…! I’m sorry if we woke you up.”

You don’t respond since you’re still feeling a bit groggy after just waiting up. You look at your hands again, and it’s still not your hands. When you look at the hair on your head, it’s a hair color foreign to you.

“Doctor, can I please talk to Elaine alone?”

“Yes.”

The doctor leaves the room, and it’s only you and Rae in the room. It seems like everyone is convinced that you’re some other person, and not yourself. Everything feels surreal; one moment you’re just saying goodbye to your friend, and the next thing you know, you wake up as a stranger.

“Elaine...do you remember anything at all?”

You don’t respond. You want to tell her that you’re not this ‘Elaine’ person, but you know that she won’t believe you.

Assuming that you don’t know anything about yourself, Rae sighs but puts on her work smile. “Do you not remember anything? Your name? Occupation? Your life?”

Instead of putting up a fight, you decide that this is the perfect opportunity for you to learn about Elaine. “I don’t...remember anything.”

Just as she thought. “Your name is Elaine Ellington, age twenty-six, and currently working for Square Entertainment as an amateur model. You’re half-Korean and half-British, and you lived in Australia for most of your childhood. You moved to Korea to start your career as a model. Though...you haven’t been doing that much work as of late due to...reasons.”

It makes sense why this body is so skinny and why she has a manager. There are still bandages all over this body, but this is still clearly the body of a model. But one thing that you don’t understand is why Jin was here. Was that an illusion for being light-headed?

“And that person who I ran into earlier…”

“Oh, that’s Jin, your boyfriend.”

You choke on your own spit, making you cough. Rae moves back while you cough repeatedly. Did you hear her right? She just said that Jin is your boyfriend. Jin—the one celebrity you’ve had a crush on for years. This all can’t be real. At any moment, you should be waking up for real now, returning to your old life.

“Do you want me to get him? He’s waiting in the hall right now.” Rae points her thumb over her shoulder to the door.

He’s actually just outside?! “Wait, wait, wait!”

But Rae doesn’t listen to you and walks out the door to call Jin in. She hopes that by having him talk to you, Elaine would return back to normal. But you’re not mentally prepared to meet Jin. The first time you saw him, you actually fainted, so how can you bring yourself to face him again?

Rae calls out to Jin, and you start to panic. You can hear the footsteps creeping in, and a part of you doesn’t want you to believe that Jin is coming. But there will never be enough time for you to prepare yourself to meet Jin.

Jin enters the room, and he’s just as handsome as you pictured him to be in real life. Actually, he’s more handsome than you’d ever expected. Earlier when you saw him, you didn’t get a good glimpse of his face, but you knew enough that it is him. Your heart skips a beat, seeing how dreamlike he looks in real life. You can’t get your eyes off of him.

Rae leaves the room, closing the door behind her so that you and Jin can talk privately. You and Jin stare at each other for a long time, but then you realize that you’ve been staring for too long. You look away, your cheeks as red as roses. You can’t help but think that you’re in a fairytale, but this is all too real.

To break the awkward tension, Jin slightly nods his head to greet you. “Hello.”

You can’t even bring yourself to open your mouth to greet him back. You’re feeling too nervous to say anything, but how can you when someone you’ve liked for a long time is in front of you?

Jin takes a seat next to the bed, making your heart thump even louder. Kim Seokjin is sitting close to you. You feel like your heart is going to burst at any moment. How can you bring yourself to look at him when he’s this close to you?

“Elaine? Does your head still hurt?”

When you hear him call that stranger’s name, not yours, it breaks you from your trance. You forgot for a moment that you’re not you.

What should you do? Should you tell Jin that you’re not Elaine? Would he even believe you? All of these thoughts keep circling your head.

“I’m alright.” In the end, that’s all you managed to say.

Rae did mention that Elaine and Jin are dating, but you don’t recall any news coverage about Jin dating anyone. You thought that everyone from Jin’s band isn’t dating anyone. So if no one knows about this, then…

“M-Manager Rae told me that we’re dating?” It sounds weird for you to say that you and Jin are dating.

Jin looks stoic, expression unchanging to your question. “We are.”

Your heart clenches, unable to believe that all this time, Jin was secretly dating, and no one in the public knew about it. Even though you never knew Jin personally, you still feel somewhat betrayed.

“I heard everything about your condition from the hallway. My schedule won’t be as busy before the tour, so call me if you ever need anything.” Jin gives you a weak smile. “Hmph, it’s...also strange hearing you call Ms. Rae’s name so formally.”

Jin stands up, surprising you that that’s all their conversation is going to be. For a pair who’s dating, Jin seems somewhat distant from Elaine. He doesn’t talk to you in any sweet tones, nor does he call you any pet names either.

“Wait!” You impulsively grab him by the shirt.

Jin turns around, and once again, you’re enchanted by Jin’s stunning looks. You look down timidly, losing all courage you had previously.

“N-never mind.”

You feel so stupid. You haven’t made a single proper conversation with him yet. At this point, if you’re going to try to talk to him, it’ll take years for you to initiate a decent conversation.

Jin simply smiles and walks out the door. You wish you told him that you’re not Elaine, but you weren’t sure if he’ll believe you. He said that he overheard the doctor and Rae talk about your supposed ‘condition’, so there is no way he’ll believe you. Maybe if you meet him next time, you’ll tell him. After all, he is Elaine’s boyfriend.

------

Due to the condition of Elaine’s body, you’re fortunately spared from having to work. The bandages around the body look bad for modeling, and your face still has a few bruise marks. You’re on paid leave for a month until you go back to work. In the meantime, Rae insists that you stay in the down low, not wanting to stir up any gossip. Rae will come to Elaine’s apartment and give her the necessities including food, drinks, etc.

It’s only been two days since you’ve been discharged from the hospital and stuck in Elaine’s apartment. You’re quick to learn that Elaine is a slob—dishes in the sink, mold growing in the corners of the rooms, and clothes all over the floor. The apartment reeks of alcohol and cigarettes.

There’s nothing but alcohol and vegetables in the fridge, and you’re starving. One of the biggest struggles of being a celebrity is having to watch your weight, and as someone who’s lived their life as a commoner, this is impossible for you. Rae said that she’d bring you food, but it’s nothing but cabbage soup and boiled tofu. You feel like dying because you’ve haven’t eaten meat in a while.

You kill time by cleaning Elaine’s place. You can’t stand how filthy it is, so you open the windows and requested cleaning tools from Rae. Other than that, you go on Elaine’s phone to learn more about her. She has a lot of social media accounts, but they’re all personal accounts, not her official business ones where she promotes her work. She also has a lot of shopping apps as well.

What’s strange about her is that she doesn’t save her text message history, and although she has different numbers calling her, they’re all not saved from her contacts. They’re all just phone numbers. There are only two contacts: Rae and...Jin.

While laying on Elaine’s bed, you stare at Jin’s contact number. You can’t believe that this is Jin’s actual phone number. This isn’t something that any fan would be able to see. You remember that he did tell you that if you ever need help, then just call him. Even though Jin sounded cold towards you before, he was still kind enough to offer you that option. But it also still hurts a little knowing that Jin is secretly dating someone like Elaine.

But out of everything in this mess, you’re glad that at least you got to meet Jin. You still have to get back to your body, but for now, you think it’s better to keep it a secret and figure it out on your own, worried that they’ll send you back to the hospital for sounding insane.

While spacing out, you accidentally press on Jin’s phone number and his number dials. You panic, accidentally dropping the phone on your face. “Ow!”

You sit up, picking up Elaine’s phone. Panic sets in as you try to hang up, but it’s too late. Jin picks up the call. You put the phone to your ear, feeling really nervous.

“Hello? Elaine, did you need something?”

His voice sounds deeper than when you heard it in person, and it’s making your heart pound. But this is not the time for you to squeal over his voice.

“No! I just accidentally dialed your number. I didn’t mean to…” You sound like a mess.

You wonder if Elaine was composed whenever she spoke to him. But for sure, you’re ruining every chance to talk to him, and it’s just embarrassing.

“Well, if you don’t need anything, then I’ll hang up.”

“Wait!!” You shouted impulsively.

You keep telling him to wait whenever you stumble with your words, but you never have anything to say when you tell him to wait. You compose yourself, inhaling a deep breath, then sighing. You tell yourself that you should at least behave like a girlfriend. It’s not every day a typical fan like you can be your favorite celebrity’s girlfriend.

“Uhm...don't strain yourself today at work,” You can feel your cheeks burning up, but this is something you’ve always wanted to tell him. “If you ever need anything, then tell me.”

There’s a long pause between you two.

“Hello?”

“Ah, sorry. It’s funny hearing you say that. Also, aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be telling you that? After all, you’re the one with cuts and bruises all over your body. But thanks...call me if you need something.” Jin hangs up the phone.

And just like that, your conversation with him ended. You call yourself an idiot again because you might’ve sounded dumb to him for him to say that it’s ‘funny’ to hear you talk like that. But still, you can’t help but feel happy to be talking to him.

You run your hand through your hair, sighing. You know it hurts knowing that you’re in Jin’s girlfriend’s body, and he most likely loves his girlfriend, so is it alright for you to be taking advantage of this position? As jealous as you are, you also feel guilty, like you’re also taking advantage of him.

You shake your head. You shouldn’t get too attached to Jin, otherwise, you won’t want to leave. Instead of worrying about what Jin feels about you, you need to think of ways returning back to the way things were before. Elaine’s life isn’t suited for you, and you should respect Jin’s privacy regarding his relationship with her. You think it’s better to support Jin from behind a computer screen.

------

“Please??” You beg.

You’ve been holed up in Elaine’s apartment for a few more days after you accidentally called Jin, and you feel like going insane if you don’t go outside. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol is killing you, and you need some fresh air. Rae came over to drop off some food, so you took this opportunity to ask her if you can go out, but you were met with an immediate rejection.

“I already told you, if anyone recognizes you, then our company can get into trouble for hiding your accident.” Rae tries to reason with you. “Plus, what if a fan or a paparazzi approaches you? You don’t have your memory, so you wouldn’t know what to do.”

“I’ll wear a mask and a hat to cover my face. And didn’t you said that El- I mean, I haven’t had that much work recently anyways, so people might’ve forgotten about me temporarily.”

Rae pauses. “That’s unlike you to say that about your job. You love modeling.”

It irks you seeing how Rae still thinks you’re Elaine, but then again she merely sees you as another part of Elaine just acting out.

“...Just once, I want to go out. After that, I won’t ask to go out anymore.”

You look at her with puppy eyes, and Rae gives in. “Fine, but just for a while, and I have to go with you.”

You don’t mind. You just want to go out and breathe some fresh hair.

“Where do you want to go?”

Even though you whined and begged for Rae to let you out, you have no idea where you want to go. Anything but here is excusable enough. But since this is your first time in the big city, you want to explore the place a bit, but being a celebrity really is a disadvantage.

After thinking for a while, you finally have an idea of where you want to go, but you aren’t sure if Rae is going to let you go.

------

Surprisingly enough, Rae really did drive you all the way to Jin’s agency. You thought she would say no because she seems very paranoid of the public and wouldn’t want to start any scandals, but she was quick to say yes.

Another problem you went through was looking for clothes to wear. You were looking through the possible clothes you can wear, but all of Elaine’s clothes are very revealing. Even with your original body you were never close to wearing something as scandalous as this because you were afraid that your fat would be sticking out.

Although Elaine’s body is a lot slimmer than yours, making you feel a little bit more confident, you still don’t want to wear them. Eventually you found a men-size jacket in the back of her closet, so you decide to wear that over your tank top.

You know that you shouldn’t get close to Jin, but since you’re in Elaine’s body, you thought you might as well be a bit selfish. Besides, Elaine gets to have Jin all to herself afterwards, so why not have some fun for the time being?

With a mask and sunglasses on, you and Rae speed walk to the front of the agency. Because you and Rae have a connection with Jin, you two were able to get through without a security code. You’re excited to see their main building in person, and it’s way bigger than you imagined it to be.

There is not a single dust that exists in this lobby. Everything is spotless, not a speck of dirt in sight. There’s the huge ‘Big Hit’ logo just labeled across the wall. You wish you can venture the entire building by yourself, but Rae is keeping you on a tight leash, so there’s nowhere for you to escape.

Rae asks the receptionist where Jin is, and she directs you to his location. He’s currently recording a song with his members. This is your second meeting with him, and you’re once again feeling nervous. You don’t think that nervous feeling will ever go away as long as it’s Jin.

But just as the receptionist said, you and Rae find Jin just walking out of the recording room, along with Suga and RM. Seeing Suga and RM in person is just as surreal as meeting Jin; their beauty is indescribable in real life, even if they aren’t wearing makeup and it’s just their bare skin. They’re also much taller than you up close as well, or more specifically...RM. Being in Elaine’s body, it made you exactly the same height as Suga, but you know for sure that in your original body, Suga would definitely tower over you.

Upon meeting eyes with Jin, your face brightens, lifting up a smile and waving to him. But Jin, on the other hand, looks rather shocked to see you. Jin keeps staring at your jean jacket that you’re wearing, looking very disturbed by it. Jin barely lets out a smile, nodding his head to acknowledge you. It disheartens you a little bit, but you try not to lose the smile. You also wave to Suga and RM, assuming that Elaine is acquainted with them.

“Elaine, what are you doing here?” Jin asks.

“I-”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you, Jin.” Rae purposely interrupts you.

You look at her, bewildered. No wonder she agreed to taking you here; she needed to talk to Jin anyway.

“Is it alright if I ask for you two gentleman show Elaine the way to the cafeteria?” Rae stares at RM and Suga. “But don’t eat too much, Elaine.”

They both don’t look like they want to be alone with you, but since Rae is older, they have no choice but to respect her demands.

Namjoon gives you a forced side smile, revealing that one dimple that all the fans fawn over. “Alright then, we can show you.”

Suga and Namjoon leads the way to the cafeteria. You stare at them, then back at Jin and Rae, begrudgingly not wanting to leave them. But Rae flicks her wrist in a sweeping motion, signaling for you to follow the two men. Eventually, you end up following them.

Since it’s just Rae and Jin, Rae’s face suddenly becomes serious. “Is there anywhere where I can talk to you privately?”

------

In one of the staff lounge rooms, Jin just finished making a cup of green tea for Rae, who is sitting on one of the couches. Jin sits down from across from her as well, waiting for Rae to take a sip of hers before he drinks his own.

“...I don’t know if I can do that.” Jin says as he sets his teacup on the coffee table that divides him and Rae.

“I know it’s a pain in the ass to deal with, but Elaine seems oddly attached to you—more than before.”

“...How many times do I have to say it? That person...isn’t Elaine. Elaine isn’t that fragile.”

“Yes, but she doesn't even listen to me. At this rate, she won’t return back to her normal self, and she won’t survive the entertainment industry on her own. All I’m asking is for you to not act so distant from her, and maybe she’ll slowly revert back to her old self again. After all, out of everyone, she’s known you the longest.”

Jin looks conflicted, leaning back on the couch as he sighs. “Just because I have a bit more free time than I usually do doesn’t mean I have all the time in the world to be with her.”

“Yes, yes I know, but all I’m asking for is thirty minutes of your time, every couple of days just come by her apartment and...I don’t know...talk about things. Elaine right now legitimately thinks that you two are in a stable relationship, and just play along with it.”

“...Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you so much for doing this for her, Jin.”

“...I’m not doing it for her. I’m only doing it so that once she remembers everything, she’ll finally stop talking to me so casually.”

Remembering back to when Elaine first woke up, Jin heard everything from the hallway. He heard her scream, demanding that she’s someone else. She said a different name, but he can’t remember what she said.

“Ms. Rae.”

“Yes?”

“What was the name Elaine said, back in the hospital?”

“Oh, (Y/N)?”

“Yea. I know the doctor said that her dissociative disorder might be playing out, and she’s pretending to be the girl she got into a fight with, but is it possible to be able to get that much information about that girl during a fight that only lasted for minutes?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, but that’s what the doctor said. It also makes sense why her personality completely changed too.”

While it is explainable, what Jin doesn’t understand is how is Elaine able to pinpoint (Y/N)’s personality when they barely know each other. When Elaine was admitted into the hospital, the doctors said that she was heavily intoxicated, so there’s also that chance that Elaine wouldn’t even remember her. And yet, Elaine right now is able to take ahold of an entirely new personality.

Jin has known Elaine long enough to know that her D.I.D. never took over her this much before. Unfortunately, after Elaine was transferred to the main hospital branch, they lost contact with (Y/N), who also fell into a coma. He has no idea right now how that young lady is doing, or even if she’s still alive. Elaine’s complete 360 is too unrealistic, even for having a disorder like hers, but he can’t explain it either.

------

It felt like ages since you last saw meat. You know that Rae would get upset if she caught you eating meat, but just this one, you’ll break her rules and eat some. You pile your plate with nothing but meat and rice. RM and Suga, who are also getting food, only stare at you in awe.

“...Wow, you’re really picking it up there. Not on your diet anymore?”

“Hm? Oh, I haven’t eating much these days ever since I got out of the hospital, so I’m a bit hungry.”

“Pig.” Suga mutters to himself.

RM elbows Suga in the stomach, mouthing the word ‘hyung’ under his breath as a warning not to insult you. But you heard it as loud as day, and now you feel a bit discouraged to grab more food. Suga is a lot colder and meaner in person than what he seems in their shows. So hearing him call you that hurts.

You three pick out a table to sit at, with RM and Suga sitting next to each other, and you sitting across from them, alone. The three of you are eating altogether, the atmosphere feeling a bit thick. They’re not usually this quiet, or they could be quiet because of you.

“So how has work been lately? I hope you two aren’t overworking yourselves.” You say to break the tension.

“It’s been doing well. How has your recovery been?” Namjoon replies to you, followed by a question.

“I’m not used to it just yet, but I am getting better. Are you guys working on a new song?”

“Yea, we just were. We’re about done with it.”

You become a bit more curious, wanting to hear how their song sounds like before they release it. “Oh, maybe one day I can hear it?”

“We can’t risk the song being leaked, so listen to once it’s officially released.” Suga quickly turns you down.

You thought that since you’re in Jin’s girlfriend’s body, he’d give you the opportunity to hear a little bit of it. Then again, you are pushing your limits a bit too far; you cannot forget that Elaine and Jin’s members have a professional relationship.

“I’m sorry...it was wrong of me to ask.” You say timidly and with guilt. “I was hoping that maybe we can get to know each other a bit mor-”

“Do you think that just because you lost your memories, we’ll treat you any better?” Suga interrupts you.

You’re taken aback by Suga’s sudden rudeness. “What?”

“You acting the way you are right now isn’t going to change what you’ve done in the past, and I will never won’t forgive you for what you’ve done to Jin.”

Suga is glaring at you with dagger eyes, sounding both menacing and serious with his words, despite his expression not changing once. And with just that single sentence, it was already enough to send shivers down your spine. You have no idea what Elaine has done to Jin in the past, but it still felt as though Suga was directly talking to you. And this makes you feel guilty that you were using Elaine’s body to get too involved in Jin’s life.

Seeing as the situation unfolded into this, RM slightly shakes his head to Suga, not knowing what you might do to them. He calls Suga by his real name, and his expression reads ‘don’t say that’. But Suga doesn’t even acknowledge RM’s worries, continuing to eat the plate of food that he picked out. You lost your appetite, wondering if it’s really alright to pretend to be Elaine. Suddenly, you start to miss your old life.

------

What Suga said to you bothered you even after Rae dropped you back off to Elaine’s apartment. When you walk back to your living room, tossing Elaine’s purse that you brought to the couch, you stand dead center in the room, staring at nothing but the white yet stained wall.

Rae catches on to your odd behavior. “Elaine, what’s wrong? Do your injuries hurt?”

“No…”

When you look at this apartment in its entirety, you’ve lived here for days, and yet this place is so unfamiliar. Your posters of Jin and his members pinned to the wall is not here, the clothes that you wore every day is replaced with designer outfits. Even Elaine’s natural scent is left behind in this apartment, not yours.

“Well, I have a meeting to attend to, so call me if you ever need anything.” Rae says before closing the door.

Rae doesn’t give you an opportunity to say goodbye before closing the door, or even the chance to glance at her. You’re left alone in this apartment, left to only your memories of the past before the accident. It seemed like long ago since you were (Y/N), and you wished to be her again. Elaine’s world feels just too lonely, despite being a celebrity.

You crouch into a fetal position, missing everyone, including your parents, classmates, friends. You’ve loved Jin and his band for so long, and yet they feel foreign to you. You want to look for your body, but you don’t even know where you are and how to escape from this place. Plus, you’re scared of doing this all alone.

But what you’re most scared about is finding out that in the end, you really are a character that Elaine created with her mental disorder—that you never existed in the first place. You’re terrified of the day Elaine returns to her body, and you’re forced to sleep in her body for eternity.

------

You hear the sound of your doorbell ring, so you get up from the couch to look through the door hole, and you’re surprised to see Jin standing in front of the door.

You open the door, delighted to see him. “Good morning, Jin! What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

Just hearing him say that makes your heart skip a beat. You’re so nervous that you can’t even think of a response. You meekly stride back to the kitchen, head kept low.

“Is there anything you want to drink?”

“I’m good.” Jin smiles and shakes his hand.

Since he doesn’t want anything, you head back to the living room, where Jin sits down at the couch. Feeling anxious, you dare not to sit close to Jin, so you sit on the other end.

Of all the times you got to talk to Jin, it’s always been interrupted or you got so nervous that not a single word came out of your mouth. Since you and Jin are in a private space just to yourselves, you shouldn’t waste your time feeling scared all the time and initiate a conversation.

“Did Suga say anything to you?” But even before you can open your mouth, Jin already beat you to talking. “You looked a little bothered the other day.”

“Huh? Oh, no no no! I’m okay. RM and Suga were very kind to me.” You didn’t want to say anything sour about them to Jin, especially since they’ve been friends for years.

But what Suga said to you still boggles you. There’s a piece of Elaine’s past that you don’t know about, but you don’t feel right asking. Based on what Suga said, Elaine did hurt Jin in the past, so you don’t want to ask Jin directly what happened, fearing that the topic might be too sensitive for him.

“But...they mentioned a few things that I don’t remember. Nothing has been able to trigger my memories so far. I don’t remember anything at all.”

You actually don’t want to remember anything, worried that it might wake you up to the realization that you never existed, but you’re curiosity is getting the best of you. Everyone knows Elaine more than you, even though you’re in her body.

Jin looks conflicted about telling you what kind of person Elaine is. He looks at everywhere except for you, then he sighs.

“You and I met when we were twelve, it was when I went on a trip to Australia with my school. You were the daughter of the owner of the place we stayed at, and I was really shy, but you were the only one who spoke to me. Even though you were half-British, you knew some Korean, and thus we kicked it off there. Even after I came back to Korea, we still kept in contact. And then one day, you said that you wanted to become a model, so I helped you work your way up when you came here.”

You didn’t expect Elaine and Jin to know each other for that long. You initially thought that they knew each other because of work.

“When I saw you again, you were this beautiful woman, and I couldn’t help but fall in love with you. So I asked if you could become my girlfriend, and you said yes.”

Jin is staring blankly at nothing, but you can tell that he’s holding a fake smile. You can’t quite understand what his expression is trying to portray, but what you do know is that you feel immensely jealous. It never really hit you until now that you are Jin’s girlfriend, and he and his girlfriend have fond memories of each other, not you and Jin. You are taking over a body and a life that doesn’t belong to you, and with the way Jin talks about her, it’s as if you’re taking away a piece of his happiness by lying that you’re his girlfriend.

You’re slowly starting to convince yourself that maybe...you never really did exist. Perhaps the person you were before really has been a figment of your imagination, and your life as (Y/N) really has been a creation of Elaine’s personality disorder. You never existed, and the life that you lived before is nothing but a lie.

“Elaine? Are you okay?”

There it is again, ‘Elaine’. Not (Y/N), but Elaine. You start to even wonder if your name is real. It just hurts you more that in this world that you’re living in, no one knows your original name, just ‘Elaine’.

But you try your hardest to pull a smile with a face that doesn’t belong to you, to a person who doesn’t even love you. “I’m okay.”

------

Ever since that day when Jin visited you, you haven’t been feeling really upbeat as of late. All you could think about is the day when Elaine’s real personality returns and takes over, and you’re forced to sleep in her body. You keep thinking about returning to your house to confirm that you really are alive, but it’s difficult doing it all alone, as well as having Elaine’s manager constantly watching you.

Once again, you can’t go outside because Rae insists that you’ll be discovered, and your accident will be released to the public. You know that, but you want to have some fresh air because being locked up in a home that isn’t yours makes you feel suffocated.

You thought that staying here would mean getting to see Jin more than any normal fan, but every time you see his contact number on Elaine’s phone or when he drops by the visit, you always feel guilty. You feel awful for taking away someone important to him. What’s worse is that you’re pretending to be her too.

While laying on the floor in the living room, connecting dots on the ceiling with your imagination, you hear the doorbell ring. You pull yourself up, not wanting to move but forcing yourself to. You drag your feet across the floorboards, looking through the door hole to Rae standing there. You open the door, and immediately you’re met with a look of enthusiasm.

“Elaine! I have some good news for you!” She exclaims.

You move to the side to let Rae inside. She makes herself comfortable by taking off her shoes and walking to the living room.

“What is it?”

“So I talked to the company, and they said that they can help get you a photoshoot opportunity next Monday.”

Your jaw drops to the horror of hearing that. You completely forgot that Elaine is a model, whereas you aren’t. You quickly look for any source of excuse to prevent yourself from working.

“B-but that’s so soon. I’m still recovering...a-and my disorder is still playing and…”

“It’s alright! Most of your serious injuries has healed, and we can have makeup hide the rest. As for your mental disorder...I’m pretty sure once you start working, then you’ll return to the old self!”

Your heart drops at hearing the possibility that Elaine’s original personality will return. “I-I don’t think I’m ready to start working again...You said that I can start working by the end of this month…”

“Yes, but weren’t you the one who kept complaining to me that you want to go out? Why do you sound so scared? You love modeling!”

I don’t like modeling...Elaine does.

“Don’t you want to remember yourself? I think doing what you love the most will help you return back to normal.”

But I don’t want to model. I’m not Elaine...

“Regardless, I was able to schedule you for Monday afternoon, so make sure to get yourself ready by then, alright? Oh, and you look like you gained a couple of pounds. In the meantime, you’re going to have to cut your diet in half before you start modeling again. That’s all I wanted to tell you.”

Rae turns around to make her way out of Elaine’s apartment, leaving you with nothing but the feeling of dread and distaste.

“I don’t want to do it.” You state bluntly.

Rae’s head whirls around, unable to believe what you just said. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to model. That’s not what I do.”

Rae looks worried, concerned that Elaine somehow convinced herself that her new personality has taken over her. “What are you saying? You know you can’t just sit around and do nothing. At some point, you will have to start working to pay for your expenses.”

You don’t respond, but even with your silence, Rae knows that you still don’t plan on doing Elaine’s job. She begins to look desperate, her eyebrows creased as she hurriedly moves to you, putting her hands on your upper arms.

 “Have you forgotten the reason why you travelled all the way to Korea?! You came here because you wanted to pursue your dreams in becoming a model, remember?! How can you just say that?! This is your livelihood!”

You’re tired of pretending to be Elaine for others. You want to be yourself again, but you were always scared that people were going to tell you that you’re a fake. But Rae pushed you to your limit.

“That’s not my dreams! They belong to Elaine, not me!” You finally said what you’ve been wanting to say since that day at the hospital.

But instead of understanding you, you only made Rae even more concerned. She had thought that all this time, Elaine’s mental health was improving, which is why she pushed to have her work earlier than expected. However, it turns out that all this time, the old Elaine never returned.

“I’m not Elaine...I’m…”

“Don’t say it! Get that out of your head!” Rae wraps her hands around your head, shaking it furiously. “You are not that person! You are Elaine Ellington, an up and rising model who’s extroverted, independent, and stubborn. The person you are right now is not real! Stop pretending to be this person and go back to the way you were!”

She said it, the one thing you were absolutely terrified to hear, that the person you once were is a figment of Elaine’s imagination. You feel your knees becoming weak, so you clutch onto Rae’s arms to keep you standing.

Seeing as she has frightened you, Rae moves away, sighing and pressing her hand on her forehead. “This is going nowhere. I told the doctors to hold off on the medication because the symptoms would affect your weight and skin, but it looks like you have no choice.”

You look horrified, not knowing that there were medications along with Elaine’s disorder.

“I’ll drop them off after I make an appointment with your doctor, and I’ll also make sure that you take your medication too. I know how much you hate them, but I’m worried that you won’t wake up.”

You don’t know what to say. You’re scared that if you keep saying that you’re not Elaine, then it’ll just convince Rae to force you to take more medication. You don’t know if the medicine will actually take an effect on your body or mental state, but you don’t want to try.

But you’re also afraid that if you keep lying that you’re Elaine, then at some point, the memories of your life before the accident will become nothing more than a forgotten dream. You’re scared that one day, you’ll convince yourself that your name and your life never existed. No one will ever know your real name and eventually you will not know your own name.

You run out the apartment in tears, and Rae runs after you, stopping right by the door. “Elaine!”

But you’re too quick for her to catch up, but she still chases after you. It isn’t long before she loses sight of you, and you’re gone from her vision.

------

You’re sitting alone at a bench at an empty park. Your phone keeps ringing because Rae is calling you repeatedly, but every time you see her phone number on the screen, you mute it. You know that if you pick it up, then all she’ll do is try to convince you to come back and work. Rae doesn’t even try to understand you no matter how much you try talking. Even though she is supposedly the closest person to Elaine besides Jin, it feels as though their relationship is strictly professional. She doesn’t care about Elaine’s health—as long as she does her job.

You curl up into a ball, hiding your face behind your knees, letting go a waterfall of tears. You thought that since you got to see Jin in real life, you would love it, but all it ever did for you is make you feel lonely. You missed the freedom you had, going to different places with your friends and coming home to a loving family. Every day feels so cold, and you wish you can return those days you took for granted.

You can feel Elaine’s phone vibrate, so you look at it, already assuming it to be Rae. But to your surprise, it isn’t her. It’s Jin. You don’t know whether or not you should pick it up, in fear that he’s only calling because Rae knows that you’d do anything for Jin.

But of course, Rae is right. You can’t bring yourself to ignore Jin’s call, so you pick it up, wiping your tears and sniffing your nose. “Hello?”

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I don’t know...A park I think?”

You can hear Jin on the other side. “You think? Does it look like a park.”

“Yea.”

“Do you know the name of the park?”

You look around to find any name of the park, but you don’t see the name of it anywhere from where you’re at. “I don’t see a name anywhere. But it’s the one closest to Ela- I mean…’my’ apartment.”

“Hmm...okay. Don’t move from your spot.”

“Wait, why?”

“Because I’m going to go see you.”

“What?!”

Jin hangs up the phone. You stare at the phone, unsure if he’s actually serious about meeting you here. You have a feeling that Rae pleaded Jin to look for you, and if she did, you’ll feel at fault for taking him out of his busy schedule to look for you. Then again, there is that chance that Jin doesn’t know what happened between you and Rae and is authentically worried.

It’s been fifteen minutes since Jin called, and he really did show up. When you perk your head up, you see him walking to your direction, wearing a mask and baseball cap to hide his identity. But you’d recognize Jin anywhere. You’ve gotten to the point where you even recognize the way he walks.

Jin stands in front of you, smiling and waving his hand, but you force a quick smile, then lower your head. He takes a seat next to you, leaning forward and trying to get a good look at your face. Feeling insecure since you were just crying and letting your snot fly everywhere, you try to hide it and lowering it even more.

“Have you been crying?” He asks in a worried tone.

“No.”

There was no point in lying because Jin can see right through you. After the accident, you always appeared to be excited whenever you saw him, but now, you look as if you want him to go away.

“You don’t have to stay here with me. If you’re busy with work, you can always leave.” You mumble through your raspy voice from all the crying.

Jin looks at you, looking a bit bewildered. “And leave you here alone? I can’t do that. I’ll leave once you’re feeling better.”

“I can feel better on my own.”

Jin leans back, but in an exaggerated manner, pulling himself all the way back. His bottom lip perks up and his eyebrows crease, as if he’s imitating a sulking expression. “Why are you acting so cold towards me?”

Flustered that you might’ve offended him, you sit up straight and try to think of ways to make him feel better. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

Jin sits up and laughs. “I was just joking.”

 You loosen up, relieved that he was only messing with you. When you think about, based on all of the shows you’ve seen of Jin, he’s always been a jokester. But ever since your first meeting, Jin was always a serious person. He never once made a joke or make you laugh. He always seemed so...solemn.

Although Jin claims to be Elaine’s boyfriend, he never once acted like one. He may visit Elaine’s apartment every so often or knows when to behave politely around you, he’s never once said that he loves you, and he’s never been touchy. There are no pet names, no sign of affection whatsoever. Despite knowing Elaine for years, it feels like he treats you no different than from a coworker.

Seeing as you didn’t laugh at Jin’s joke, Jin doesn’t really know what else to say. “I guess I wasn’t being funny. But then again...you never really did laugh at my jokes, did you?”

You’re confused because you always laugh at his jokes whenever he cracks one on a show.

“You always said that it was annoying.”

But then you realize that Jin isn’t talking about you, but his girlfriend, Elaine. You forgot about the whole reason why you’re here. You know for certainty that even though Jin does not show a single sign of affection right now, you remember when Jin was explaining about the past with Elaine, he looked sincerely happy when talking about it. Jin has memories of someone who isn’t you, but of his girlfriend. Everyone in this world knows only Elaine, not you.

Not wanting to feel this heartache anymore, you get up from your seat, leaving Jin confused. “Where are you going?”

“...Are you like Elaine’s manager? Do you wish for Elaine to come back again?”

“What?”

Once again, you can’t stop the tears from flowing, but you try wiping them. “I’m sorry I took her away from you...”

You turn around, walking away, unable to bear with this immense guilt. Jin stands up from his spot, but his feet won’t push forward. He believes that if he tries to go after you, it’ll only make you run away.

“Elaine, come back! Elaine!!”

But hearing a name that doesn’t even belong to you only makes your walking pace faster. Jin calls Elaine’s name again, but each time he calls you that, it’s like a knife through the heart. You feel as though you’re slowing drifting away from the person you once were.

“(Y/N)!!” He shouts from the top of his lungs.

You stop walking and spin around. You heard a name you haven’t heard in so long, and for a second, you even thought that you were dreaming. Your lips start to quiver, terrified that you might’ve just imagined that.

“H-how did you…?”

“You said it once at the hospital, remember? I had a feeling you weren’t Elaine all this time, but I wasn’t sure,” Jin smiles gently. “You must’ve felt alone, pretending to be someone you aren’t all this time.”

Your heart starts pounding—your breathing unstable. This is real. Jin really said your name. Even if it’s because he heard you say it once, hearing someone say that you’re not her is enough to make you overjoyed.

Jin opens his arms, signaling for an embrace. “Come here.”

Without thinking, you run into Jin’s arms, hugging him tightly as you sob on his chest. This is the first time you’ve ever been held by Jin, and you honestly thought that never in your life, you’d be able to hug him, or even be this close to him. You try to say the words ‘thank you’, but your cries are so loud that you can’t even mouthed it. You never realized that all this time, all you needed was someone to say your real name.

------

Once you finished crying, you both return to the bench, where you gave Jin pretty much your entire life story. You told him about where you live, your family, all of your friends, your interests, everything. You even tell him that you’re a huge fan of him, to which he thanks you diligently.

But you also tell him about your encounter with Elaine, explaining that you don’t really know what happened or how you ended up in her body. You don’t even know how your body is doing, and you would love to go and see, but Rae is pulling you back.

When you’re done talking about yourself, Jin doesn’t say anything. You look at the time, and you realize that you kept Jin here with you for hours, and  the sun is already setting.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Jin! I kept you out for so long. We should hurry and take you back or else you’ll get yelled at.”

Jin shakes his head. “It’s fine. It was nice listening to you talking about yourself. I’ve never seen you look so happy.”

You blush, looking away timidly.

“So what are you gonna do? Are you going to go back to your home and hope that your body is there?”

“...I don’t know. I want to go back home, but I’m scared about Rae following me. Plus, I live at least a day away from here.”

But you’re also scared about returning back home and your body not being there, or the possibility that maybe...you aren’t yourself, but just a clone inside Elaine’s body.

Noticing that scared look on your face, Jin puts his hand on your shoulder to reassure you. “Hey, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it too much.”

“Yea…” Suddenly, a light bulb lights up above your head. “The tour! I bought a ticket for your tour!”

“What?”

“Your tour starts in less than a month, right? And you’ll be doing one near my hometown. If I can convince Manager Rae to have me tag along, then I can go home. I’m sure Manager Rae wouldn’t mind me going as long as I’m with you.”

Jin hadn’t thought of that. “Sounds like a plan.”

Your phone starts ringing again, and you had completely forgotten about it because you were talking to Jin all this time. When you check the caller ID, it’s Rae.

“Shoot...I forgot about Manager Rae…”

You dread the thought of having to return to your apartment to see Rae. You know she’s going to scold you for running away, then once again, you’ll be reminded that you’re a fake.

Jin can sense that look of uneasiness in your eyes, so he clears his throat to get your attention. “I can always talk to her. You know, persuade her not to let you take the medication.”

You already feel like burden because Jin went out of his way to search for you, and now he’s wasting more of his time to help you get out of your situation.

“No! I can handle this on my own.” You say with uncertainty.

“It’s fine. I can talk her out of it. I don’t think she’s going to listen to someone who is claimed to have mental issues.” Jin jesters, followed by a slight chuckle.

He does make a point. In Rae’s eyes, you look insane, so it would make more sense if she listens to someone who’s normal.

“...Thanks again.”

------

You and Jin return to Elaine’s apartment, and Rae is standing by the front of the door, constantly trying to contact you through phone. Jin has you hide behind a corner of the complex as he talks to Rae. You can barely make sense of what they’re talking about, but after a couple of minutes, you see Rae nod her head, then leave the complex from the opposite direction. Once she’s gone, Jin signals for you to come.

You walk towards Jin. “What did she say?”

“It took a lot of convincing, but I had to lie to her that you were making progress and she took the bait. Also, she feels apologetic for rushing your recovery and forcing you to work, so she rescheduled it for the original day you’re supposed to return.”

You exhale a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

Jin takes out his phone and checks the time. “It’s getting late, and I should get going.”

“Oh that’s right! I’m sorry again for making you waste all your time.

“No, it’s fine!”

“...I don’t know if you really believe everything I said...about me not being Elaine. Even though I’m in her body...I don’t even know if I really am Elaine, or just pretending to be someone else. But despite all that...I just want to say thank you. Thank you for making (Y/N) feel like she’s alive...” You look up at Jin, finally having the courage to look at him in the eyes.

You’re about to make a decision that could possibly create a huge avalanche for the future, but at the same time, perhaps not. Still, you want to express your gratitude for him being by your side. You close your eyes, tiptoeing to match his height, kissing him gently on the cheek.

You pull yourself back, and when opening your eyes, you see a shocked Jin. His eyes are wide, not expecting it from someone who’s been unassertive all this time. You drop your head, losing all that confidence you had before, already regretting that choice of action. To cover your bashful face, you use your forearm to hide it.

“I-I figured that you must’ve missed making physical contact with Elaine...so I...I…” You can’t even bring yourself to say what you did. “H-have a good night and don’t overwork yourself!!”

You spin your entire body, just wanting this night to end already. But because you were in such a rush to escape this untimely tension you created, you forgot that Elaine’s front door is just inches away from you. You bump your forehead directly on the door, nearly falling backwards from the harsh impact.

Seeing as you just harmed yourself by accident, Jin instinctively has his arms out to catch you, but you are able to regain your balance. “Are you okay??”

As if your night couldn’t get even more embarrassing, you just had to do something even more humiliating in front of him. You smile to show that you’re alright, even though you feel light-headed.

“I’m okay! Really, good night though!”

You open the door and enter as quickly as you can, shutting the door right after. Jin can’t help but laugh, already imagining what you’re doing on the other side of the door. Knowing you, you might be covering your face and calling yourself an idiot. And even though Jin is laughing, he’s also as red as a tomato.

He finds it odd that despite only knowing you for a few weeks, he can already catch a few of your habits. You have strong determination despite your shy nature, but you’re also weak to feeling alone, and thus you become dependent. You show great kindness towards others, and even though it’s the same face as Elaine, there’s something alluring about the way you smile.

You are right though—Jin can’t fully bring himself to believe that you’ve magically possessed Elaine’s body out of the blue. But at the same time, he can’t explain how Elaine’s a completely different person. Needless to say, the way you make Jin feel whenever he sees you is something he hasn’t experienced in a long time. The last time he felt this way was when Elaine first came to Korea.

------

Ever since that night, you felt more comfortable talking to Jin, but through phone of course. Since it’s getting closer to tour date, Jin has been busier than before, constantly going to meetings and rehearsals without any breaks in between. You always call to make sure that Jin is doing alright and isn’t pushing himself too hard, to which Jin reassures you that he isn’t. But his words don’t do a good job at selling you because every time you call, he sounds tired.

You wish you can visit him so that you can confirm that Jin is taking care of himself, but knowing Rae, she won’t let you out a second time, especially after that day when you ran out the door. It feels dreary being in this apartment alone. For someone who’s working in the entertainment industry, Elaine doesn’t seem to have that many friends. You can get a sense that Jin’s bandmates dislike her, or at least Suga strongly despises her.

You didn’t forget about your plan concerning the concert. You asked Rae if you can get a ticket—the same exact one as the one you originally bought, but Rae was skeptical. She lectured you that if you had enough strength to go to a concert, then you should have enough to start working. You started making excuses that you wanted to end your month-long break with a concert, and surprisingly, Rae believed you. She tells you that she’ll try to help look for a ticket for you.

------

You texted Jin about being able to convince Rae, but he hasn’t responded. In fact, he hasn’t contacted you the entire day. You keep checking to see if Jin texted or called you but to no avail. If you remember correctly, Jin is probably busy with the upcoming tour.

Even though you’re supposed to be the closest to Jin, Jin isn’t very open about telling you anything. If you were to list the things you’ve learned about Jin while being in this body, it’s no different than what an average fan would know, other than that he’s secretly dating someone.

As shameful as it is, you still visit K-pop forums and news websites to see if you can get any source of information about Jin. You know that asking directly will result in Jin avoiding the question by lying or changing the topic.

On your original phone, you were following a forum page dedicated to Jin. This forum usually updates followers about Jin’s activities, public locations during comebacks, and sometimes spark conversations about Jin’s health.

Luckily for you, you still remember the password to your account. You thought about going through your own social media accounts and messaging yourself or your friends, but you aren’t sure if your friends will believe you. Rae even checks Elaine’s social media accounts on her phone in case you post anything by accident.

Since you haven’t visited the website in days, you’re way behind in updates. You scroll through the feed that you missed out on, checking to see if there are fans who noticed anything about Jin. That’s when you found a picture of Jin surfacing around the website. It’s a picture of him entering the agency, wearing a face mask and a baseball hat. The only facial feature exposed is his eyes, but his eyes look swollen and red.

When you read the responses concerning that picture, many of the fans share their distress, saying that Jin looks ill. You look back at the picture, and they’re right, he does look like he’s sick, which might explain why he’s wearing that face mask. All this time, Jin kept telling you that he’s alright, but the picture you see in front of you says otherwise.

Now feeling anxious for Jin’s sake, you want to leave your apartment to visit him, but you worked hard to regain Rae’s trust again. If you were to sneak out of this apartment, who knows what Rae might do to you. She can enforce stricter surveillance on you. And yet...your gut tells you that you should break the rules once more to see Jin.

You apologize to Rae in your head, then you grab a jacket and Elaine’s purse, along with a face mask, sunglasses, and a beanie to cover your identity. You open the front door slowly, peeking your head out to make sure that Rae is nowhere to be seen. Once the coast is clear, you march out of the door, planning to head to the closest convenience store to buy something for Jin. While you’re at it, you might buy a few snacks for the other members in case they’re there too.

------

It’s a miracle that you made it to Jin’s agency without anyone spotting you. Rae made it sound as if the moment you set your foot outside, you’ll be recognized by the public, but with your disguise, it’s not possible for anyone to recognize you.

You stand in front of the entrance, holding a grocery bag in your right hand. You need an employee ID card to enter, but if you can recall, Rae put down a passcode. You try to remember the passcode, pressing down four pin numbers, and you were successful in doing so. You hear the unlocking sound of the double-door, and you walk inside.

The receptionist doesn’t recognize you at first because of your face mask and sunglasses, but when you take them off, she recognizes you immediately. “Good morning Miss Ellington.”

You bow down slightly to acknowledge her greeting. “Good morning!”

“Is there anything that I can assist you with?”

“I’m just here to visit Jin.”

“Ah, he’s in the practice room with the rest of his members. They’re currently rehearsing for their upcoming concert, so I don’t believe they have any free time.”

“Oh, no, I wanted to drop off this.” You lift your arm up for the receptionist to see the grocery bag.

“I see, then I can allow it. Then head to your left, and it should be the third door to your right.” She points to your left.

You thank the receptionist and head to the rehearsal room. You’ve always watched videos where they practice in their dance studio, but this is your first time going inside and you’re excited. You want to see how it looks like in person, and you can possibly be the only fan who’s seen it in person.

It doesn’t take long for you to hear the booming sound of their song blasting from the other side of the wall. If it’s this loud from the outside, you can’t imagine how loud it is inside. You stand in front of the door, embracing for the loud sound to blow you away.

You enter the practice room, and it’s much smaller than you initially thought. In the practice room, the wooden floorboards are well-polished, and the walls are very clean, not a single stain in sight. There’s musical equipment and instruments pushed to the corner of the room, and in the other corner is a computer system along with a television on the wall.

 Since you entered through the back, they don’t notice you at first. But when Jin sees you from their wall mirror, he breaks out of focus and freezes momentarily.

He spins around, ultimately making everyone else lose the beat of the song. “(Y/N)??”

Your heart skips a beat when you hear him call you by your real name, but in a split second, the mood changes to panic when you forgot that you’re currently Elaine to the other members. Thankfully, the music is loud enough that they didn’t hear.

Suga turns off  the music, and Jin walks towards you. He leans close to you to whisper, and internally you feel like squealing that he’s closing the space between you and him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just came here to visit.”

You look away from Jin, since you’re interested in how the other members look like in person. You’ve already seen RM and Suga, so you wanted to see the other four. And of course, their beauty is unfathomable. You can’t put into words about how handsome they all are in real life, even without makeup.

But unlike their usually upbeat personalities on their shows, none of them greets you. Jimin meekly smiles, but he’s quick to touching his phone. He looks frustrated, most likely due to finding his dance unsatisfactory in his standards. Jungkook doesn’t even acknowledge you, heading straight to his bag and playing with his phone too. RM and Suga looks annoyed that you interrupted their practice, and V just stares at you and Jin.

J-Hope is the only person who greets you. He waves at you, but not saying ‘hello’ because he’s out of breath. He’s quick to returning to the dance practice, staring at himself in the mirror and rehearsing the dance by himself.

Just like in the picture you saw, Jin does look sick, but it’s worse up close. You can tell from his voice that it’s groggy, and his eyes are bloodshot red, as if he had zero sleep. He keeps sniffing, and he looks like he’s about to pass out from exhaustion.

You show him the grocery bag, and you take out some pill bottles. “I wasn’t sure what you’re sick with exactly, so I bought you a bunch of medicine.”

“Wait, how did you know I was sick?”

You give him a quick smile. “I just had a feeling.”

You didn’t want to admit that you semi-stalked him on the internet. You sit down, criss-crossed on the floor, taking out each medicine bottle one by one. Everyone looks at you as if it isn’t normal for Elaine to be sitting this crudely.

“This one is for a fever, this one is if you have a cold, and this is a coughing medicine. Oh, and I also bought headache and pain medicine too. I also bought some snacks for everyone.”

The word ‘snacks’ quickly grabs everyone’s attention. J-Hope’s iconic smile brightens up the dull atmosphere, approaching you as he must’ve been hungry.

“Wow! Thanks Elaine!!”

You hand J-Hope a granola bar, and he takes it. V continues to stare at you and Jin, more so at the bag of snacks. After contemplating for a while, V gives in to the temptation and asks you for the chocolate bar. Jungkook asks V to pass him the granola bar, and he does. You feel a little happy that the other members are slowly opening up to you, since at first, they gave you the cold shoulder.

V also gives candy to Jimin, who still looks stressed, but his stiff expression loosens up when receiving it. He thanks you for the food, and you feel elated.

“Why did you buy all of this?” Jin whispers.

“Huh? Oh, it’s because I was really worried about you. You looked and sounded really sick, so I snuck out to buy some stuff.”

“Snuck out?? What about Ms. Rae?? Did she let you?”

You shake your head, smiling mischievously. “I wanted to make sure that you were alright without having her on my back. Plus, I’ve always read fictional stories about the main character visiting you guys…”

You almost slipped out that you read fanfictions about them.

“...Visiting their favorite celebrities during practice! I’ve always wanted to do that.” You giggle childishly.

Jin had forgotten that you’re originally a fan of him and his band. He hasn’t quite gotten the gist of you being a fan, not his girlfriend. But hearing you say that you snuck out because you were worried about him makes Jin’s heart flutter. He honestly can’t remember the last time Elaine visited him during dance practice.

While you’re talking to Jin excitedly, Suga is watching from the background. He watches as you smile brightly, and he sees something he hasn’t seen in Jin’s face in so long. Jin’s expression is soft, and his entire body is directed towards you. He looks...somewhat happy to see you—he looks hopeful, and that look on his face only worries Suga even more.

Jungkook searches for his drink that he brought in his backpack, except his drink is nowhere to be found.

“Huh? Where’s my drink?” Jungkook mumbles to himself.

Jungkook continues to search deeper in his bag, but he can’t find it anywhere. Jimin scoots closer to him to help him, but he is unsuccessful in finding it as well.

“Do you remember where you last put it?” Jimin asks while turned to Jungkook.

“...I might’ve left it on the counter back home…” Once he remembers where he put it, Jungkook messes with his hair. “Ah, shit! I did!”

“Text Manager Sejin to bring us some drinks. I forgot to bring my water too.” RM shouts from across the room to Jungkook.

Jungkook nods his head slightly and takes out his phone to text their manager. However, you want to be their savior, so you raise your hand to get everyone’s attention. You feel a little embarrassed that you didn’t buy any drinks for them.

“I can buy you guys drinks!”

They all turn to you, not expecting you to pitch in. They look uncomfortable when you volunteered to buy it since you were not really involved in their conversation.

But RM pulls a professional smile to let go of the tense air. “It’s okay. Jungkook is texting our manager right now.”

“But there’s a vending machine just out there. I have some cash on me right now, so I don’t mind,” You insist. “Jin can text me what everyone wants. I’ll be right back.”

And just like that, you left the room. You leave everyone speechless with how quick you are to help them. They know that the previous Elaine was never like this, and though it is strange to have someone who was once heartless like Elaine suddenly become an angel, they also can’t find themselves to hold a grudge against you.

...Well, almost everyone. Suga is not convinced by your sudden act of kindness. If anything, he finds this as another one of Elaine’s nasty tricks into getting people to do what she wants. He can’t believe that Jin is so quick to believe that her facade is all just a mental disorder.

Suga heads to the same door that you went through.

“Where are you going, Hyung?” RM looks up from his phone.

“Bathroom.”

Suga walks out, but in the same direction that you went. J-Hope is the first one to notice that oddity.

“That’s strange. Isn’t the restroom the other direction? Why did Hyung go the other way?” J-Hope mumbles to himself.

“Maybe for fresh air?” V answers.

Jin notices that too. He thought that Suga was too quiet when you came into the room. He’s worried that Suga might do something to you, so he stands up and goes after him.

“Hyung, where are you going??” RM asks once again.

“Bathroom.” He says as he heads to your direction.

“He went the opposite direction like Suga-hyung too.” J-Hope once again comments.

“Maybe it’s an off day for the both of them?” V answers again with a question.

------

You should’ve asked for Jin or at least one of the members to help you. Drinks for seven grown men is too much for these petite arms. Jin ended up not sending you a text of what they want, so you bought an array of drinks and decide to let them choose when you return.

You hear someone approaching you from behind, and assuming that it’s Jin, you spin around. “Oh Jin, can you help me with some of these?”

But you’re surprised not to see Jin, but Suga. You freeze, staring straight into Suga’s eyes, knowing that there is no sign of friendliness within him.

You try not to let his death glares deter you, so you pull off a smile. “Oh, hello Suga. I’m sorry, I thought you were Jin so…”

“What are you doing?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m carrying the drinks for you gu-”

“Don’t play fucking dumb and tell me, what the fuck are you planning?”

Suga’s sudden change of tone scares you. You’ve never seen Suga’s angry side before, so you don’t know how to react.

“Are you planning to use Jin again? Old habits never go away, does it?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about...What do you mean ‘use’?”

“Oh that’s right, you have your mental problems. Well, let me spell it out for you so you remember how horrible you are,” Suga moves closer to you, and feeling scared, you step back a little. “You’re a controlling bitch who uses Jin for your own needs, and Jin is too nice to tell you upfront. Jin was naive enough to fall in love with you and still naive for staying with you. But there were nights when Jin cried himself to sleep all because you’re heartless.”

You’re horrified to hear that. You could tell from the way others react around you that Elaine isn’t the nicest person, but you would’ve never thought that she would use Jin. If anything, your blood is boiling as much as Suga’s is at this moment. How someone can use someone as kind as Jin for their own purposes?

“I don’t think anyone told you this because they’re afraid to hurt your sensitive little ass, but do you know why you were out and about that night of the accident?” Suga leans closer. “Because I convinced Jin to break up with you. You couldn’t handle the thought of being the one who’s been dumped, so you went out that night, drinking until you couldn’t walk. Because of your recklessness, you got an innocent passerby nearly killed by a car. Now do you see why everyone hates you? Even Jin hates you.”

You don’t know how to respond. Suga is telling you that the reason why you got in a fight with her is because she couldn’t handle being dumped. That’s why you’re stuck in her body right now.

“...How can she be so reckless?” You mutter to yourself.

“What?”

“A million of other girls wish she can be in her position, and she uses it for granted. If I were in her position, I’d take care of Jin every day...I’d be there for him during his toughest days, and I’ll cook him his favorite meals. I’ll make sure to call him and ask if he takes care of himself, and when I don’t believe him, I’ll just drop by and take care of him myself.”

“...What the hell are you talking about? Aren’t you with him right now?”

Despite all this anger fuming inside of you, you still manage to keep your composure. “Yup, that’s why with the time that I have left with him right now, I’m going to do everything to ensure that he’ll heal from Elaine’s mistakes. I’ve always supported him from afar, and now that I’ve gotten this opportunity to be with him, I’m going to do everything I’ve promised to do. So in a way, I’m glad Elaine pushed me in front of a car.”

You leave Suga speechless, returning to the practice room to give everybody the drinks. Rather than impressed by your confidence, he’s more confused. Even though you’re Elaine, you spoke in a third person, as if you’re not her. And to be specific, you spoke as if you’re the victim she got into a fight with that night. For a second, he swore he heard someone else speak, not Elaine.

It might be because lack of sleep or he’s overworking himself that he’s hearing things, he tells himself to forget about it. For now, Suga decides to use the restroom to rinse his face. He heads to the direction of the bathroom, and in the hallway, he nearly bumps into someone. To his surprise, it’s Jin.

“Hyung?? What are you doing here?”

Jin doesn’t respond, he’s just staring blankly, covering his mouth with the palm of his head. Suga realizes that where Jin is standing, he could’ve easily heard Suga’s conversation with you.

“Did you just hear…?” Suga stops mid-sentence when he notices that underneath Jin’s hands, he’s blushing.

Without a doubt, Jin must’ve heard their conversation. Suga thought that Jin would get upset for confronting you like that, but seeing as he isn’t even responding to him, Jin might be thinking about the last thing you said. Usually, this would be around the time when Suga explodes on Jin for being gullible in falling for Elaine again, but after what you said, Suga is starting to doubt himself about who you are.

“Don’t tell me...are you falling for her again?”

“...I’m not falling for ‘her’ again…” Jin finally speaks.

Suga understood him clearly by what he meant. He doesn’t need Jin to explain how he feels about you. But after that realization, Suga ponders once again.

“Didn’t you say that the only reason why you’re helping her is because you’re trying to help her return back to normal? So what’ll you do when the person she is right now is gone?”

Suga remembers you referencing that you have a limited amount of time to be with him, meaning that you’re aware that you won’t get to be with Jin for long. Jin doesn’t respond quickly and is also questioning that as well. But in all truth, Jin can’t find an answer to that question.

“I don’t know…”

------

Back in Elaine’s apartment, you still can’t believe that yesterday you just talked back to Suga, the Suga. He gives off a menacing aura, and talking to him in person doesn’t make things any easier. But you couldn’t just stand there and let Suga continue on with this misunderstanding. You’re not Elaine, and you would never treat Jin like that. You don’t know if your messages reached him, but as long as you said it, then it’s fine.

Your train of thought is interrupted by a text tone, which startles you. You, who was sitting on the floor while rest the upper half of your body on the coffee table, jumps and shrieks quietly. After realizing that it’s just the phone, you sigh in relief. Assuming that it’s either Rae or Jin who’s texted you, you check, but it’s neither of them. It’s from an unknown number.

Hey Babe, I left something at ur place.

You know that this isn’t Jin. He doesn’t seem like the type to use nicknames such as this. Plus, if he wanted to text that, he’d do it on his phone, not some other number. You recall on your first day discharged from the hospital, Elaine has no phone numbers saved, but she did have a lot of out- and ingoing calls from unknown numbers. You debate on whether or not you should reply, but then this mysterious person sends another.

I’ve been feeling a bit lonely too. When am i gonna see you again?

Feeling disgusted, you don’t answer him. You assume that since Elaine is very pretty, she must get numbers like these often. You block the number, hoping that you wouldn’t get anything like this again.

You hear a knock on your door, and you run to it. Looking through the door hole, it’s Rae. You open the door and greet her.

“You look like you’re in high hopes.” Rae comments.

“Oh, do I?” You touch your cheeks.

“I have something that can make you happier though,” Rae scurries through her purse and takes out a ticket to Jin’s band’s concert, exactly the date and location you wanted it to be.

Rae gives you the ticket, and you’re surprised at how quick she was able to get it. It’s not every day you get to experience getting a concert ticket twice. You hug Rae, grateful that she went through the trouble of buying you a ticket.

“Thank you so much, Ms. Rae!”

“Hey now, it’s no big deal. You want to end your month-long vacation with a bang, right? Might as well enjoy your last few days at your boyfriend’s concert.”

Being reminded that Jin is Elaine’s boyfriend also reminds you of what Suga told you. Was Elaine really that scheming towards him? But to you, Jin is so kind and giving, so you can’t understand why she would manipulate him like that.

“Ms. Rae...is it true that I used to treat Jin bad?” You don’t like saying that you’re the one hurting him, but there’s no other way to say it to Rae.

Rae looks at you, and she gives it some time to answer. “Where did you hear that from?”

“U-uhm...I just heard it from someone. But is it true?”

“...It doesn't matter. The past already happened, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Rae puts her hand on your shoulder. “What does matter is you resting before you return to work. Don’t fret about it too much.”

Her words aren’t very helpful in letting you rest. But regardless, you’re still thankful that she got you a ticket. All you need now is to somehow get there, perhaps with Jin’s team or Rae will take you there. You hope to be able to return home safely and somehow undo all of this. For now, all you can do now is pray that your body still exists.

But before you forget, you remember about the strange text message you received. Since Rae is here, you want to ask her a bit more about Elaine.

“Ms. Rae.”

“What is it?”

“This weird number texted me...so I-”

“Block them. If they don’t stop harassing you, then tell me and I’ll deal with them myself.” Rae is quick to give you a response.

If there is one thing that Rae doesn’t miss, it’s her old habits. That is the main reason why Elaine can’t get many gigs, and Rae wishes that that would go away.

“If any more unknown numbers call or text you, tell me, alright? Don’t answer back.”

“O-okay…”

Rae is normally a serious person, but you’ve never seen her this serious before. It only makes you more curious about that phone number. But if Rae says to stay away, then you rather keep your curiosity in a box than to play with it.

------

The phone rings, and you’re anticipating for Jin to pick up the call. After Rae left, you couldn’t sit still and had this innate instinct to tell Jin about your plan progressing smoothly. You also want to call in hopes that Jin’s health is improving. He did look better the last time you saw him, so it makes everything feel a bit more relieving.

Jin finally picks up the call, and you can hear his deep voice murmuring the word ‘hello’.

“Jin! Guess what!”

“Wow, someone sounds excited. What is it?”

“Ms. Rae was able to buy me a ticket to your concert near my hometown! I might be able to go home!” You exclaim.

But instead of being met by the same level of excitement, Jin doesn’t respond. For a second, you thought that Jin hung up, but when you look at the screen, you see that the call is still on.

“Hello? Jin?”

“Oh sorry, I was spacing out. That’s great for you.”

“Isn’t it? I might be able to see my parents again! I really missed my friends and family. Since everything’s going good so far, I think I might be able to go back to the way things were.”

Once again, there’s silence on the other side.

“That really is good that everything’s going well...but...what if this doesn’t work?”

“What do you mean?”

“What are you going to do if you find your body? What about if your body isn’t there anymore either? I don’t mean to discourage you, but I don’t want you to be disappointed with the other possibilities.”

You don’t understand why Jin is so unsupportive of this so suddenly. He was 100% on your side, but now he’s giving you excuses. He’s making you doubt your plan now.

“Well...it doesn’t hurt to try.”

“I know but...I don’t want to see you hurt. What if you can’t find a way to go back to your body?”

“...If I was somehow able to leave my body, then there has to be a way to return,” You try to chuckle to loosen the sober conversation. “Why are you talking like this suddenly? It’s not like you.”

Jin sighs. “You’re right. It might be the medicine kicking in. I’m sorry. I’m...glad you’re able to leave.”

There’s another pause.

“Hey (Y/N)...”

“Yea?”

“Do you hate being in this life?”

You weren’t expecting Jin to ask that question. You don’t understand why Jin is being so serious out of nowhere.

“No, I don’t technically hate it. It’s just that this life isn’t for me, and I just feel homesick.”

“Oh, okay...And (Y/N)...”

“Yea?”

“If you somehow are able to return back to your old body...can you maybe...N-never mind. I gotta go. I’ll call you later. Again, I’m...really happy you’re able to get a ticket.”

Jin hangs up. You weren’t expecting the conversation to end up like this. You felt like you said something you shouldn’t have said. But regardless, you still don’t know why Jin was like that. Is it because you’re bothering him? That can’t be it, can it?

------

It’s been a few days since Jin last made contact with you. Jin and everyone else just got back home late from practice, and he’s in his bedroom resting. He’s starting to regret what he said to you. He didn’t mean to come off as if he’s against your plan. You must’ve felt offended by his tone, and he wishes he can apologize to you. But he can’t bring himself to talk to you again. Jin sighs in frustration.

“That’s the fiftieth time you sighed,” Suga shouts from across the room.

Suga is at the opposite end of the room, laying on his bed while he watches a movie on his iPad. Jin is sitting on his bed, and he’s been staring at Elaine’s phone number, wondering if he should call you.

Suga pauses his movie and sits up. “Is it about Elaine again? Oh wait a minute...it’s (Y/N), isn’t it?”

“Yeah...I think I said something I shouldn’t have said.”

“Like what?”

“Remember her plan? She’s actually going through with it, and I think I made it obvious that I’m against it.”

“What’s wrong with that? Do you honestly believe that she’s a completely different person, and weren’t you the one who said that it’s her sickness playing out again?”

“...Elaine contacted me.”

“What? You mean (Y/N)?”

“No. The actual Elaine.”

Suga waited for Jin to say that he’s joking, but seeing as he isn’t saying anything must be that he’s being serious. Suga jumps off of his bed and scurries to Jin, to which Jin shows him the text messages he received from Elaine from a different phone number.

Answer me! Are you ignoring me on purpose??

I’m going to fking kill you for not helping me.

I’m coming back and switching bodies with that bitch.

This is, without a doubt, Elaine.

“How did she get your phone number??”

“She’s really good at memorizing phone numbers. She must’ve remembered mine.”

Suga scrolls through the text messages, and when he reads the time these messages were sent, they were sent a while back. So this entire time, Jin possibly knew a solution to returning Elaine and you back.

“Wait...so you knew about this?”

“Not exactly. I thought Elaine was pulling an elaborate plan of making me believe that she’s ‘switched bodies’, and I was just playing along with it. But then I realize that both (Y/N) and Elaine are speaking the truth.”

“Then...all of this is true?! Elaine and (Y/N) actually switch bodies??” Suga leans back, jaw-dropping in awe as he can’t believe that this is all happening. He has so many questions to ask, but right now what matters is getting you back to your original body. “So what are you waiting for? Help them get back to their bodies.”

Jin is silent.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think...I’ve gotten used to (Y/N). What if she returns to her body, and she loses all of her memories of me? Or...what if we never get to see each other? What if I didn’t take good care of her, so that’s why she’s happy she’s leaving?”

While Jin mumbles to himself, Suga stares at him. He hasn’t seen him in this huge dilemma in a long time, and the last time he saw him this frantic was when he was indecisive about breaking up with Elaine. Suga can clearly tell that Jin has fallen for you.

“I don’t know...Is it wrong for me to say that I want her to stay in Elaine’s body?”

“Hey calm down. Didn’t you say that (Y/N) is a huge fan of you? Do you really think someone who’s as dedicated as her will forget about you? She’s loved you even before she met you.”

Jin doesn’t say anything, but he listens to Suga.

“If you really do care about her, let her do what makes her happy. But before you let her go, tell her how you feel and wait for her answer. Hiding everything to yourself won’t solve anything.”

“...You’re right. Thanks, Yoongi.”

Jin jumps off his bed. “Where are you going??”

“I’m going to see her before I back down again.” He says as he grabs his sweater.

------

You check the phone, hoping that every time you turn it on, you’d see a missed call or text message from Jin, but to your misfortune, nothing appears. You wonder if there was something you said to make him avoid you, and it only makes you feel terrible. You start to doubt whether you should go to the concert. You don’t even know if it’s going to work out well, just like what Jin said.

There’s a knock on the door, which you think is weird because there’s a doorbell installed. Still, you look through the door hole, but it’s too dark to see anything. You don’t know who would be visiting you this late, but assuming that it must be Rae, you open it anyway.

But instead of being met with the familiar face, it’s a tall, burly man standing in front of the door. When you two make eye contact, you knew you made a mistake. You try to close the door, but the man stops the door by holding the frame from closing. He’s too strong for you to shut it completely.

“Whoa, what’s with the cold welcoming? I just came here to get my jacket, remember?” the man speaks in a deep voice. “Oh that’s right, you blocked my number.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, so please go away.”

The man leans closer to you. “Oh really? Then what was that jacket you were wearing when you were near that you wore to that wimp’s place?”

You have no idea what he’s talking about. But that’s when you remember you picked a blue jean jacket out during the first time you went to Jin’s agency. Now it made sense when Jin looked puzzled when you wore that jacket.

Now that you remember, you don’t want to say that you do. You don’t know this man, but you already know that you shouldn’t associate yourself with him.

“Hm? Why are you acting like I’m a stranger? Do you not know who I am?”

“...No, I don’t, so go away before I call Ms. Rae.”

The man leans back, completely shocked at the revelation. “Oh my god, the rumors are true then!”

“What rumors?”

“That you lost your memories. I thought it was just gossip, but it turns out that they weren’t fake. But I can’t believe you forgot about this handsome face of mine.”

You give him a look of disgust. Seeing as you aren’t even breaking a smile, he clears his throat.

“Maybe you’ll remember me by this.”

Suddenly, the man leans forward, kissing you on the lips. Instantaneously, you move back, covering your mouth, startled by his move. He expected you to be infatuated with him, but nothing happens.

“Hm, maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe I should do a bit more?”

The man takes a step closer to you, stepping inside of the apartment. You move back, feeling terrified of what this man is capable of doing.

“S-stay back, or I’ll scream.” You manage to stutter.

“Oh, that really hurts my heart you know? What happened to all those nights when you used to call me over to your place? Or how about those times when we cuddled naked in your bed?”

You don’t want to hear any more from him, so you cover your ears. “Stop…”

“Or how about that time when you called me over because you felt like doing it, and your boyfriend caught us sleeping together? I remember you told me that you preferred me over your boyfriend because I was better in bed than he was.”

You’re picturing things you don’t want to visualize. You’re disgusted to hear that Elaine did something as shameful as letting this body be touched by this scum and to even do it when Jin caught them together. You can’t imagine what Jin’s reaction when catching his girlfriend with another man.

After walking backward enough, you end up hitting at the end of the wall, and the man corners you, pinning his hands to the wall to prevent you from escaping. This whole time, the man was playing around with you, but his face suddenly changed to a serious one.

“But then again, you were never kind, were you? After all, we were only fuck buddies,” he states bluntly.

You don’t want to believe what he’s saying. You feel your skin crawl just imagining this body touching his, and you can’t stop your tears from flowing.

“Stop it! I...I didn’t do those!”

“I had feelings for you, you know? When I said I wanted to be more than just sex friends, you rejected me. You were so cold-hearted, but look at you now—as fragile as a dandelion. And it makes me want to take over you.”

He pulls your chin up to kiss your lips once again, but you fight back by pushing him away. With a mixture of your thin body and shakiness, you aren’t strong to push him away completely. All you can do is cry while he tries to kiss you again.

But his entire body is twirled around by someone, and his face is met with a fist. The fist hits him directly on the nose, and he falls to the ground. His nose turns hot as he feels the sensation of blood pouring out of his nostrils.

“What the fuck?!” He looks up to see who punched him.

To his surprise, it’s Jin. His face is entirely red, nothing but anger is written all over his expression. He’s breathing heavily as if he ran all the way here. When the man recognizes Jin, he laughs as he stands up, which is the opposite reaction of what you expected it to be.

“Well, didn’t expect your boyfriend to show up!” He jesters. “So Jin, how does it feel to catch your girlfriend with another man for a second time?”

Your eyes widen, realizing the misunderstanding that you and the man created. You did something that Elaine did in the past, and now you’re afraid that you’re hurting him just like what Elaine did.

But instead of reacting, Jin points to the door. “Get out before I call the police.”

For a split second, the man stared into Jin’s eyes, and he could tell that Jin has the intention to murder him if he doesn’t leave. He’s surprised that Jin is still willing to protect his girlfriend, despite what she’s done before.

Not wanting to stir up any more trouble, the man shrugs his shoulders. “Heh, not my problem if you still want to stay with a slut. I can just get my jacket next time.”

Hearing the words ‘next time’ scares you, as he might possibly come back.

“Don’t you dare come back, or I’ll do more than what I just did right now.” Jin glares back at the man.

The man merely smirks, then he walks out the door. Jin locks the door behind him, then he runs to your aid, putting his hands on your arms.

“(Y/N), are you okay?! Did he hurt you anywhere?”

But you don’t give him a reply, as you’re shaken up by the ordeal. Your tears won’t stop flowing, thinking about how Jin must now hate you for repeating what Elaine has done.

“I’m sorry, Jin...I’m sorry.” You repeat.

You keeping saying that you’re sorry, and Jin tells you to stop, but you won’t listen. You must’ve been traumatized by the incident that you not willing to listen to him, so he hugs you as comfort.

“You didn’t do anything, so you don’t need to apologize.”

------

After a quick stop at the convenience store, you bought a first-aid kit. Jin punched the man hard that his fist bruised up and started bleeding. You don’t know the first thing about first aid, but Jin guides you along the way.

While tending to his wounds, you space out, thinking about what the man said. Suga did mention that Elaine broke Jin’s heart previously, but he never went into detail. Now you know why Rae and Jin are so persistent in avoiding the discussion; it’s a sensitive topic for Jin, and something you, someone who loves Jin, wouldn’t want to know.

“Jin...is it true...that Elaine slept with that guy?” You mumble out, too ashamed to look at him. “Is it true that with this body she...she…”

You can’t even bring yourself to say it. That night when you kissed Jin on the cheek with this lips that touched that man’s...It makes sense why Jin was so distant from you in the beginning, and why he didn’t behave like a typical boyfriend. He didn’t want to associate with a cheater.

Once again, your eyes are filled with tears, but this time, you aren’t crying because of self-pity, but a mixture of anger and sadness for Jin. You couldn’t believe out of the million of girls who Jin is in love with, Elaine is the lucky woman, and she takes it for granted. But you’re also angry with yourself that you let that man touch you like that and worst of all, let Jin see it again.

“I did exactly what she did…”

Jin caresses your cheek, raising it up to get a better look at your face. But you avoid eye contact.

“Yes...she did, but what she did in the past has nothing to do with you. So don’t blame yourself.”

“But I…!”

Jin shushes you. “To deny that you enjoyed that man’s touch is enough for me to forgive you.”

Jin recalls that night when it was his and Elaine’s first anniversary. He bought a bouquet for her as celebration and since he has the spare key to her apartment, he wanted to leave it on the coffee table as a surprise. However, he was the one left with a surprise when he saw his girlfriend and another man together. He remembers being in tears, while Elaine smoked a cigarette, telling him to grow up.

He was broken for days, learning that his first love never loved him. She only used him to get an easy pass into the modeling business. His members warned him about her, but his puppy love blinded him from seeing it. He didn’t want to accept the fact that his first girlfriend never cared for him. He wanted to live in a fairytale, and that fairytale turned out to be a nightmare. He had lost hope in ever finding another person to love.

But you changed that for him. He thought that since you were in the body of the person he hates the most, he’d feel indifferent, but you proved him wrong. You cared for him like any girlfriend should, even going lengths of getting in trouble just to see him. You were everything that Elaine was missing—everything he wanted. He was able to fall in love again, and he’s thankful to have met you. If only you were his first everything…not Elaine. Jin was going to confess to you, but seeing as you look bothered by the incident, he decides to save it for another day.

“You must still be shaken up by that guy. Will it be okay for me to stay over for the night?”

All that guilt in you dissipates when Jin asked that question. The thought of Jin spending the night under the same roof as you is outrageous. Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think that you and Jin would be sleeping in the same house.

Your cheeks turn red while various scenarios play in your head. “S-staying here…? I...I...sleep...s-so suddenly...night...here?”

Your pure reaction to this makes Jin chuckle. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll take the living room couch.”

You feel a bit disappointed, as you were slightly excited about him and you sleeping in the same bed, cuddly innocently of course. But you don’t want to rush things, and it’s already enough to know that Jin will be protecting you.

“Okay…”

------

The sun rises and the birds chirp outside. The day has started, but you didn’t sleep a wink. You kept thinking that Jin would come into the bedroom and sleep next to you, but he never did. That’s quite gentlemanly of him not to, but you were somewhat hoping for it. After all, you’re still Jin’s fangirl, and any girl would want to sleep next to their dream guy.

When you got out of bed, you received a text message from Jin early this morning saying that he had to go to work to help plan for the tour. He also mentions that he’ll be busy all day, so he won’t have time to visit you until night. You’re sad that you didn’t get to see him off and wish him to have a good day.

You walk to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for yourself, even though you know that your usual breakfast will be cabbage soup and boiled tofu again. You miss the mornings filled with delicious meals that your mother cooked for you. That also reminds you that you wanted to cook something for Jin, but you don’t know that many dishes either. You wish that you paid attention to your mother when she taught you how to cook.

While heating up the soup, you hear the doorbell ring. At first, you thought that the man returned to finish off what he started, so you’re cautious about opening. However, the doorbell is then followed by loud banging, then excessive pressing on the doorbell. Whoever is behind your door, they must have zero patience.

“I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING IN THERE. HURRY UP AND OPEN THE DOOR OR I’LL KICK IT OPEN.” the person on the other side shouts.

Your attention is immediately caught by the voice. The voice sounds all too familiar. It sounds like...your voice?? You rush to the door and open it, and it feels like you’re staring at a mirror. The person standing in front of you is...you.

You (the other person), stares at you with repulse. “Oh my god...what the hell did you do to my body?!”

“‘M-my body’…?” It finally clicks who this person is. “E-Elaine??”

“Who the fuck else?”

------

You and Elaine sit across from each other, this situation being as unusual as it can get. You’re sitting across from your body, though a bit thinner than previously. In front of you is the woman that everyone has been talking about, and to finally meet her feels strange. She’s smoking a cigarette, not making you feel comfortable seeing her smoking with your body.

“Uhm...can you not smoke with my body?” You ask politely.

“Why? You got to do whatever you wanted with my body. You made me gain weight, but I’m not asking you to lose it all right now, am I?” She replies with such horrid attitude.

You feel a nerve pop, but you try to remain cool.

“H-how did you find your way here?”

“Look, I’m not here to make small talk. I wanna go back to my body, and you most likely want to go back to yours, so let’s just get this over with.”

Elaine looks through the backpack she brought—your backpack you haven’t seen in so long. She takes out a navy blue book, and the title is written in a foreign language. She flips to a page that she kept bookmarked and reads it carefully.

Everything is moving too fast. Your brain still can’t process that Elaine came through the door with your body, and all of a sudden, she has a plan to switch bodies. This is too much to take in.

You stand up, shaking your head in confusion. “Whoa, slow down! What the hell are you talking about?? Can we at least talk before you do anything??”

Elaine rolls her eyes and groans as she slams the book shut. “Ugh, fine. What do you want to talk about, princess?”

You feel another nerve pop. “How did you find your way here?? I mean, I live miles away from here.”

“Plane ticket and a lot of money saving.”

“What’s with the book??”

“It has the spell to revert us back to our original bodies.”

“Spell?!”

“It’s some Shaman shit. It took me a shit ton of time to learn whatever this language is.”

“Do you know how we switched bodies in the first place??”

“Dunno. Didn’t want to waste my time researching about something that won’t get me back to my body. Look, are you done with your questions? I didn’t come here to be interviewed.”

You’re starting to understand why Suga hates her so much. You’re very close to strangling her, and it hasn’t even been five minutes.

“No, I’m not done! I still have a lot of questions, and you’re going answer all of them!”

Elaine groans again, rolling her eyes. The urge to slap her is very strong, but you don’t want to harm her. Harming her means that you’re also damaging your body.

“Damn, I was hoping you weren’t the talkative type. If Jin didn’t fucking ignore my texts, then I would be back in my body. Alright, if it gets you to hurry up and shut up, then give me your questions.”

Hearing her saying Jin’s name reminds you about what she’s done in the past. You remember the multiple times you saw that sad expression on his face. Because of her, Jin wasn’t the same bubbly person he is on screen.

“...How could you treat Jin like that?”

Elaine inhales a large puff of smoke, then breathes it out. “I had a feeling you’d bring that up, I’m not surprised though. Judging by the millions of photos and posters you have of Jin in your bedroom, you were bound to ask that. If you couldn’t already tell, I’m a bitch, and I do whatever it takes to get what I want. That also means playing with Jin’s feelings. He’s a sweet guy, but he’s a pushover. He’d do anything for me, and that’s what makes him easy.”

Just hearing how straightforward she is with her words makes you want to hit her, but for the very least, she’s being honest.

“I had a feeling that you wouldn’t answer my texts or calls, so I didn’t bother contacting you. I contacted Jin instead.”

You didn’t expect her to message Jin, and he didn’t tell you at all. You have to admit, so far, Elaine seems like a very intelligent woman, but just a pain in the ass.

“I thought he would help me in an instant, but suddenly, he stopped messaging me. For a sec, I thought that I wasn’t going to return to my body. He disobeyed me for the first time, and I knew it had something to do with you.”

“Me?” You look away. “I didn’t do anything special.”

“Shut the fuck up and don’t be so modest. You did something to make Jin not want me to come back,” she takes in another inhale of her cigarette. “And to be honest...it annoys the hell out of me that some other woman can make him leave me.”

Elaine acted so confident all this time, but this is the first time she’s showing weakness. It could be either because she’s so used to having control over Jin or...she might’ve actually liked him at some point. To hear that from his girlfriend that you changed him makes you not want to leave Jin. You mentally prepared yourself to say farewell to him on concert day, but this is too early. It just hit you that once you return to your body, you may possibly ever speak to him again.

But somewhere in the back of your head, you knew that. You knew since the beginning that you were never meant to be by Jin’s side. Jin is too good for you, and he deserves someone who can give him what he needs, not rely on him. You knew all of this, and yet it’s hard to swallow the thought that you’re leaving him.

“That’s all I wanted to ask actually...But before we switch bodies….can you do me one favor?”

“Ugh, if you want me to stay away from Jin then I will-”

“Take care of Jin, and let him know every day that you love him.”

Elaine wasn’t expecting you to request that. By this point, you should’ve learned everything that Elaine’s done. Any normal person would tell anyone to stay away from the person they love, especially someone as dedicated to Jin as you.

“Don’t make the same mistake you did in the past. After all, you’re his first love, and I know how hard it is to forget about them.” You say, feeling your throat start to choke up.

You can’t forget that look on his face when he talked about his past with Elaine. Maybe not now, but back then he did truly love Elaine, and you don’t want to take that away from him. If you want to be selfish, then at least you can tell yourself that you might’ve been able to help Jin fall in love with Elaine again.

Seeing how soft you’ve become, Elaine is starting to feel a bit guilty for rushing this. “...Don’t you want to say bye to Jin or something?”

You shake your head. “No, it’ll just make me want to stay longer. Just make sure you don’t break my promise.”

“...Alright then.”

------

Elaine ties a red string around your left wrist, then she ties one around hers. While doing all of this, she chants something in an unfamiliar language. You want to ask her what language she’s speaking in, but you don’t want to break her train of thought.

For someone who seems reckless, she’s very meticulous. You wonder how much planning she did before coming here. It makes you feel a little embarrassed because your plan wasn’t as detailed as hers. Plus you were somewhat prolonging your stay, mainly because you wanted to be with Jin for a while longer.

Once she’s done, she takes a step away from you. “Alright, give me a piece of my body.”

“A piece of your…?!”

Elaine rolls her eyes. “Yea, chop off my finger and give it to me, wouldja?” She says sarcastically. “Give me like a fingernail or hair strand you idiot.”

You wish you can tell her that she didn’t have to say it like that, but this is not the time to start an argument. You pull a strand of Elaine’s golden locks and gives it to her. In return, she gives you a piece of your hair and gives it to you. You take your strand of hair, but you stare at it curiously, unsure of what to do with it.

“Tie it around the red string I just gave you. It’s to help link you back to your physical body.”

You do as Elaine says, and though you were having difficulties, you were able to tie it around your wrist. Elaine chants one more thing before taking out a medicinal bottle from the backpack.

“What is that for?”

“Sleeping pills. The ritual isn’t complete until we’re unconscious and our spirits or whatever returns to our bodies. I don’t have the patience to wait until tonight, so we’re going to knock ourselves out with these.”

“What?! So soon!”

Elaine slumps her shoulders. “Are you backing out now?”

You just weren’t expecting Elaine to turn to pills. Knowing her past with drugs and alcohol, you didn’t trust her. Then again, Elaine does sound like she knows what she’s doing.

“No...let’s do this.”

Elaine gives you two pills and a glass of water. You watch her eat two pills and drink a cup of water, then you follow. Once you two completed that, she grabs a blanket and lays on the couch. You grab your own blanket and sits on the chair. All you two can do now is wait for the pill to kick in.

“How are my parents doing?” You ask since you two have some time to spare.

“...They’re doing fine. Despite me being bitchy to them, they still took care of me.”

You remember that Elaine doesn’t have her parents’ contacts saved on her phone. During this whole ordeal, not once has her parents ever contacted you through her phone. So you can only conclude that her relationship with her parents is not a healthy one.

“How’s Rae? Is she still as fussy as ever about work?”

“Definitely.”

Despite literally meeting her minutes ago, it feels like through her body, you got to learn a lot about her, and she must’ve learned a lot about you as well. You know what Elaine has done to Jin, but you can’t bring yourself to hate her completely.

But you still wonder about why she did that. How could she treat Jin like that? Is it really because he’s too nice?

“...Why did you cheat on Jin?”

Elaine doesn’t make a quit response. She takes the time to think about it. “I already told you, I’m a bitch who does whatever she can to get what she wants.”

“So you never loved Jin?”

“Would I have said yes if I didn’t? Of course I loved him, and I still do. Though, I’m pretty sure you learned about my personality disorder. I guess you can say that a part of me likes the idea of using Jin, and another part of me loves him. It’s...a constant war against myself.”

Your heart aches, knowing that Elaine still loves Jin, that Elaine and Jin can still have a happy ending. But at the same time, you’re relieved that Jin’s fears of Elaine never loving him is only all in his head.

“As you can tell, I have moments like earlier where I’m just the most unpleasant person you’ll ever meet, and there are times when I’m calm like this.”

“Really? I didn’t notice you changed personalities just now.”

“Yea, movies do a horrible job at portraying my illness. There’s no dramatic pauses or suspenseful music when there’s a personality change. It just happens at the most random times.”

Now you can see why Jin fell in love with her, or at least with her gentle side. Elaine’s now much nicer compared to the one from earlier.

“...That might be the reason why Jin fell out of love with me, hates me even. I’m just too difficult to handle. Some moments I become rampant, and other times I’m like this. The other me is...despicable. I love him, but at the same time I don’t.”

You’re starting to feel the medicine kick in. Whatever Elaine gave you, it’s very strong. Elaine must be falling asleep as well, since her words at the end are slurring.

“...I never deserved Jin...He definitely deserves someone better me.” Elaine mumbles.

“Funny, I think the same thing too…” Your eyelids start to become heavy.

Elaine chuckles weakly. “I guess we both don’t deserve Jin…but I think you’re definitely…”

But she falls asleep before she finishes her sentence. There’s more you want to talk about with Elaine, but you’re getting too tired to move your mouth. And the next thing you know, you fall asleep.

------

You sit up straight, frantically touching yourself to see if the plan worked. You pull the blanket off of you, running to the closest mirror as fast as you can. When you look into the mirror, you see...your own reflection! You touch your face, making sure that you aren’t dreaming. Your skin feels real, and you heave out a single laugh, glad that the plan was a success.

You run to Elaine, who’s still asleep. You shake her shoulders to wake her up. “Elaine! Wake up!”

Elaine groans, raising her head up, but not opening her eyes. “What the fuck…? Stop touching me.”

“Elaine, it worked!!”

“What…?”

Elaine looks at her hands, and when she sees her own hands, she quickly gets up from the chair, running to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. Elaine screams in excitement, happy to be back in her body. She runs to you, hugging you tightly.

“Oh my fucking god, I missed this body.”

You both laugh, just too happy to be able to return to your original bodies. You almost went insane, thinking that you’d never see the day. But that leaves another problem. You’re still here, and you don’t know how to get back home.

“Wait, Elaine...how do I return home?”

“Don’t worry about that. I bought another plane ticket back to your place in case this plan fails. I can give you the ticket right now.”

Elaine looks through your backpack and shows you the ticket. You can’t believe that Elaine even thought this far, and you have to commend her for that.

“Oh yea just to let you know, I snuck out during the middle of the night, so you oughta wanna go back home night before your parents file a missing person’s report or something.” Elaine sticks her tongue out teasingly.

Even until the very end, Elaine is still a troublemaker, but you can’t bring yourself to get mad when you’re back to the way you are. You check the backpack that Elaine brought, and it has your phone, wallet, spare clothes, and extra cash. You head to the door, but then you stop.

You never got the chance to say goodbye to  Jin. Once you walk out of that door, there’s no going back. You won’t see Jin ever again, and he probably won’t even know that you left.

“...Hey Elaine.”

“Wassup?”

“Make sure that Jin doesn’t overwork himself. He has a habit of doing that.”

Elaine can sense your unwillingness to return home, but you both know that this is how it should be. “Yea, I’ll be on his ass for that.”

You look at Elaine once more, smiling. You’ll be leaving this place, this apartment that you’ve spent almost an entire month in. You wave goodbye, walking out of the door once and for all. You give the apartment one more glance before closing it shut.

The deed is done, and you’re finally back to your original body. But...after that wave of excitement and glory...you’re now hit with a wave of grief. Your chest feels heavy...It may be because you never got the chance to thank Rae for everything she’s done for you, or that you never got to know the members of BTS as well as you wanted to. Or it could be that you never got the chance to say goodbye to Jin.

Before you know it, you’re crying. You cover your eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming out. You knew this day had to come, and yet it hurts more than you can ever imagine. You wish you can spend more time with Jin, just enough time to tell him that you love him.

------

At the airport, you sit alone as you stare at the plane ticket Elaine gave you. Since it’s late at night, there’s not a lot of people. Just like when you first woke up in Elaine’s body, what you went through feels all too surreal. It feels like a single dream that you just met Jin. It’s almost time for your plane to depart, and this’ll be the last time you’ll be here.

“Yes Mom, sorry for running away so suddenly. I’ll get back home as soon as I can.”

You’ve been on your phone with your mother for a couple of hours. When you called her, she was frantic, worried that something might’ve happened to you. Even though she was yelling at you, you were too happy to hear her voice again; you even missed her scolding you.

“Geez, why did you run out like that? You know you haven’t recovered yet from the accident. We all thought you went to Seoul because this whole time, you kept demanding over and over again to take you there.”

Unbeknownst to your mother, Elaine really did run away to Seoul, but she doesn’t know. You think it’s better that she doesn’t know or else she’ll freak out even more.

“Sorry I was such a demon this past month, Mom…”

As much as you missed your mother’s nagging, the only reason why she’s lecturing you in the first place is all Elaine’s doing. You feel a little annoyed that you’re the one who has to deal with her mess, but still glad to hear your mother regardless.

“It’s fine. I think anyone would be as stressed as you were after getting in an accident. If that skanky woman’s company wasn’t so willing to pay for your hospital bills, then we would’ve been in some deep financial trouble.”

You chuckle soullessly. “Yea...this month has been a wild ride…”

“Well anyway, come back home safely. We’re all worried about you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Your mother tells you that she loves you, then you repeat her sentence. You hang up, sighing as your mother’s lecturing has finally come to an end. You question if your parents are going to welcome you back with open arms. You have no idea what Elaine has done with your body, but you do hope that she didn’t do anything you would never do.

As you think about Elaine, your mind drifts to Jin. You wonder how he’s doing and if he noticed anything different about Elaine. You want to know if Elaine even told him that you returned to your body. But no matter how much you think about him, it only hurts more. You tell yourself to stop thinking him and try to focus on getting back to your old life.

But out of nowhere, you hear someone shouting from a distance. “HEY BITCH!!!”

When you look up, you see someone pacing towards you. You’re surprised to that it’s Elaine, and she looks pissed off. You’re worried if you did something to make her upset, so you’re ready for Elaine to curse you out once she gets to you.

“Holy fucking geez, have you ever heard of checking your phone?! I was calling you like ten million times! Learn how to fucking live in the 21th-century and use your goddamn phone, you retard!” Judging by her unfiltered words, she must’ve returned to her angry personality.

“...Sorry. I was on the phone with my mom, so I silenced it.”

“Because of you, I fucking wasted my time running everywhere with that asswipe.”

Your head perks up when you hear that Elaine came with someone else.

Elaine takes out her phone and dials someone’s number. She puts her phone to her ear, tapping her feet and hand to waist. After a few seconds, the person on the other line picks up.

“Yea, just take your fucking sweet time picking up my call, wouldja?! Anyway, I found that bitch you’ve been looking for. Oh, well sorry, (Y/N) I mean.” Elaine rolls her eyes. “Just hurry the fuck up. I’m by terminal 16.”

Elaine hangs up just like that. You have no idea what’s going on.

“Uhm...what’s going on?”

“Shut up and just sit down. This dumbass can’t even recognize your face, so he fucking forced me to look for you since apparently I’m the only one who knows how you really look like.”

And in an instance, you know who she’s talking about. The person who came with her is Jin. Immediately, you want to run away, not wanting Jin to see you. You’re worried that Jin will think you look ugly in your original body.

You try to escape, but Elaine grabs you by the wrist. “Oh hell no. You stay right fucking here. I’m not letting you go after I went through the trouble of wasting my time on you.”

“Let me go!”

For someone who has a thin wrist, Elaine has a strong grip. It might also be because you made her gain weight and made you lose weight. You panic, not wanting to see Jin right now. You’re scared about what he’ll think of you when he sees how you really look like. But you’re also scared that if you see him, you won’t want to go back.

And just like that, you see Jin from far away. Your heart skips a beat just seeing him again, but you quickly look away, hoping that he didn’t notice you. But you forgot how Elaine makes her appearance demanding, so she waves her hand at Jin.

“HEY BASTARD, OVER HERE.” She shouts.

Jin turns, and he sees Elaine, holding your wrist. Your heart pounds harder, unable to bear looking up. Jin runs to you and Elaine, but more specifically, to you. He keeps on running and running until he gets close to you.

Once he’s close enough, Elaine lets go of you so you two can have some time alone. Jin is too alleviated to see you again that he runs into you, nearly making you fall backwards, but his arms catches you. He hugs you tightly, just simply happy to be able to hold you one more time.

“(Y/N), I thought I wouldn’t make it in time.”

Jin raises your chin and kisses you on the lips, catching you by surprise. He’s been wanting to kiss you for a long time, but it feels even better that he gets to kiss you when you’re in your body.

Seeing how romantic you and Jin have become, Elaine sticks her tongue out in grotesque. “Get a room, you losers. I’m going to wait in the car.”

Elaine leaves you two to yourselves. You push Jin away gently to give each other space. Your face is red, unable to believe that Jin just kissed you then.

“Jin...how…?” Jin’s kiss made you lose the ability to think straight.

“Elaine told me everything, and I wanted to get the chance to see you before you go off.”

“B-but...aren’t you disappointed…? I’m not a model like Elaine...I look like a slob…”

Jin chuckles as he caresses both of your cheeks. “You’re more beautiful than I can ever imagine.”

Jin presses his forehead on your forehead. He wanted to hold you all this time, but it didn’t feel right holding you while you were in Elaine’s body. Now that he got the opportunity, he doesn’t want to let you go.

“I knew that if I didn’t see you one last time, I’d regret not telling you something important.”

“What is it?”

“(Y/N), I love you, and it isn’t because you were in Elaine’s body. All I wanted was for someone to care about me, and you did. So how could I have not fallen for someone as precious as you?”

Hearing him compliment you makes your face even redder. Jin refrained from using lame romantic lines up until now, but hearing it makes you nervous. It’s hard to believe that Jin’s saying that to you. After years of supporting him from afar...he finally has reciprocated your feelings back to you.

Airline XX will be departing soon. Please head to your terminal to avoid delay.

You hear the overhead saying the name of the airplane you’re supposed to get on. You feel disheartened that you have to leave right after Jin found you.

“...I have to go…” As much as you don’t want to, you must. “...But I don’t want to go. I’m scared I won’t see you again.”

Jin gives you the smile you’ve grown to adore. “...Elaine told me that you have a concert ticket, right? We’ll see each other again. And if you manage to switch back to Elaine’s body again, you have another ticket waiting for you with Ms Rae. Who knows...maybe the next time I see you, I’ll sweep you off your feet and make sure I don’t lose sight of you again.” Jin jesters, but he’s mostly serious.

You finally manage to laugh, thrilled to know that tonight won’t be the end of your journey with Jin. Perhaps you might have a happy ending with him after all.

“I’ll be waiting for that day.”

The overhead repeats your airplane is about to depart, so you grab your backpack and head to the terminal. As you walk, you turn around to see Jin, waving goodbye.

“Jin?”

“Yea?”

“...Don’t strain yourself. If I find out that you are, then you’ll get a mouthful from me at the concert.”

Jin smiles, tilting his head to the side. “I won’t. I promise.”

“And Jin?”

“Yes?”

You give Jin a soft, gentle smile. “...I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The End

A/N: Thank you for those who read this until the end! If you have any criticisms you want to share with me, positive or negative, then don’t be afraid to message me!

Masterlist

[dropsights]

monsta x ‘we are here’ world tour @ amsterdam 190703

my concert/hi touch experience (vip)

i was attending the show with a couple of friends and they’re a mess too when it comes to mx and just...us being together...chaos. i left the house early in the morning and first had to get to a friend who lives in the hague and drop my sleeping bag there and then we’d leave for amsterdam together and meet with our friends. on the train i spilled coffee on my WHITE tshirt but luckily we had to switch trains in utrecht so i quickly bought a new tshirt and food because i. really didn’t want to meet them in a coffee stained outfit and we were on our way again

we arrived at the venue around 1pm and started queueing for the merch stand. i bought a tour tshirt and a shopper bag (i’m a happy brokebebe now) and we were looking for wonho’s fansite everblooming because my friends reserved a slogan set frm them but because we couldn’t find them we went to a nearby bar and sat there until like...5pm? we’re not that fond of queueing all day so we just waited while drinking our nerves away. we went back to the venue and picked up our vip wristband and lanyard and joined the queue. i met a twt mutual i’m close with after two failed attempts at crush in berlin and xxx’s cancelled show in amsterdam so i was so happy to finally see her!! i also met her again after hi touch and cried while hugging her LMFAO

the show itself was INCREDIBLE. they started right on time and i’m gonna be honest and say that this is my least favorite setlist of the three world tours that i attended but the subunits...the outfits...the old and new mondoongies in the crowd...the vcrs...JOOHEON DRUMMING...life changing. i think my favorite songs were myself (mx), hero, party time, sweetheart, no reason, jealousy, honestly, play it cool, rodeo and myself (hyungkihyuk unit). we were standing not too far away frm the stage but not that close either but i personally find it more important to have enough space to jump and dance around than be close to the barricade. also minhyuk was so sexy during that lalala part of party time too bad i didn’t record it

so last yr the boys were standing in front of a backdrop during hi touch but with their faces towards the queue in the foyer but this time they did it the opposite way so u only saw the backdrop and had no idea in which order they were standing...but i did feel like hi touch was organized a lot better than it was last yr because there was a lot more security/venue staff involved in terms of them telling the ult vip/vip pit where to sit and wait until each row could enter the foyer...yet the hi touch was extremely rushed so they didn’t really give u a chance to say more than a quick thank you/i love you. i think it’s because they also had a sendoff for ult vip ticket holders after the hi touch so they probably had to shorten the time period of the hi touch. ANYWAY

wonho

BRO the way i panicked because he was the first one while i KNEW he was the first one from a distance. his hand...soft. that smile...even softer. he was wearing a hat so i couldn’t really look him in the eye sadly i hope he’s okay because during the ending ment he didn’t really show his eyes either and i was afraid he was feeling sad/sick

hyungwon

handsome!! his hair looks amazing he’s tall he’s so beautiful (esp with longer hair) so it was too intimidating to look him right in the eye. also his hand is HUGE

shownu

we actually didn’t miss each other’s hands with our high five this yr and i’m so proud of myself!! i don’t really remember shownu that well this time around but i can recall that i heard security yell something abt going faster and stop stalling dnsjdjdhdg

kihyun

his smile is always so genuine and his hand is really soft and small. like a paw. like i high fived him and his smile felt so comforting i really love kihyun sm he has this aura that just tells u don’t worry it’s okay without him having to say anything i think that’s what made me feel so comfortable to look him in the eye. kihyun is so angelic the entire show i was in awe of how beautiful his voice hair and smile was and he’s unreal when he’s right in front of u...

minhyuk

right before we went up to the foyer where the hi touch took place i asked my friends what i could say to minhyuk because i literolly forgot that u actually get the chance to say something to the loyl!! i usually blurt out i love you’s with tears in my eyes but i wanted to say something to minhyuk that i would never forget myself and my friends said i should say YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE and i didn’t forget? when i was in front of him? so i said you are my sunshine and held his hand one extra millisecond longer and he smiled and said something back but I DON’T KNOW WHAT BECAUSE I COULDN’T HEAR IT NSKEJWKSFHEJDHE security started yelling again. it was tragic but atleast he didn’t st*re that intensely and get that close again because i wouldn’t have survived it . i love minhyuk...babie. the absolute loml

changkyun

this is another shownu situation where i did remember my interaction with them last yr but this yr is a whole blur i have no idea what i did? what did he do? i’m sorry changkyun i feel so bad

jooheon

the last one!! i held his hand extra long because my mind kept telling me the hi touch was over after him so i didn’t let go until i heard security yell again and i told him i loved him a lot and u know...jooheon really follows your moves until you let go and have to leave? also his dimples...smooch

after the hi touch u immediately have to leave the venue and while my friends were crying i was...blank. like i couldn’t talk or do anything i was just walking behind them with my hand clasped over my mouth until we were outside where i finally broke down into tears it was so dramatic that even a friend said i wasn’t like this last yr and she had never seen me cry like that before

long story short i just wanna give mx my entire heart and during the show they kept saying we love amsterdam sm the scenery is so beautiful and we had a really good time here going to museums, going on boat tours, just walking around the city and i’m stressed because shownu will have to enlist soon but if he says that he’ll be back next yr i believe him ! i love my monsta boys my best friends my seven angels

[rosekun25]

October 27th 2019

Dear Tumblr diary,

I went to the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra!!!

The trip didn't start out very good. My boss was almost 2 hours delay it and when I got to the station I had found out that my connection bus had already left. I thought that was a bunch of BS because me and like 10 other people had to get new tickets because of it which made me super mad because instead of arriving in Dallas and 7 in the morning like I planned. Also is a spent the night on the bus there was a lady with a screaming toddler. I tried not to judge her. But I was very tired and I really didn't want to hear her baby screaming about nothing.

I arrived at about 11. I was hoping I might be able to snag a muffin or something for breakfast from the hotel but I wasn't very lucky. My room wasn't ready . So I ended up just dropping off my luggage . There was however a Starbucks right down the street so I went there and ate breakfast. The Starbucks was Anna Marriott Hotel and it felt way too bougie.

Especially because they had actual food on the menu. I just stuck with the slice of pumpkin bread because it was fall.

After I ate the pumpkin bread I went to the Dallas Aquarium. It was more of a zoo / Aquarium. But it was so cool to see the animals. My favorite part were the Penguins. I also really enjoyed watching all of the fish because I love going to aquariums to watch the fish.

I ended up leaving there a little bit early because it was so crowded. But I met a bunch of kids that were going to the orchestra there.

After that I went to the mall. I got tickets to see Maleficent. I went to the Disney Store and I bought a bunch of new ornaments for the Christmas tree. I got Esmeralda, Pocahontas, the house from Up, AURORA IN HER BLUE DRESS, and Meg with Hercules. I bought a box of chocolates. I also had a free sample of a pumpkin spice truffle. Honestly it tasted like chocolate-covered pumpkin pie.

I also went to GameStop and picked up a kairi Pop Funko I wanted Aqua but they didn't have Aqua so I just settled for kairi. Which was fine.

I saw Maleficent. I didn't really like it. I don't think I would have liked it if it didn't have Princess Aurora in it. I felt the movie was dreadfully dull and didn't explain anything. It focused way too much on the war and practically nothing else.

Anyway the movie ended kind of late because we had half an hour of commercials. But I was able to grab lunch and be back at the hotel at 6:30 p.m. I was so tired I wish I could have stayed and had a little nap. But I learned from my experiences in Phoenix so I quickly got into my cosplay and left as early as I could.

I still had loads of time to hang out with everybody. I was running around talking to everybody taking selfies laughing and having such a great time. Everybody was telling me I was the perfect Xion because I was so short. I didn't care I was having too much fun.

The concert was so beautiful. The visuals the music. It couldn't have been more perfect. I don't want to forget about any of it. I don't want to forget about the girl that was handing out sketches and gave me three. Me comforting Ava in the bathroom. Me taking selfies with Axel Roxas Pirates of the Caribbean Sora and Orchestra Sora. Talking and laughing with just random people who wanted to take a picture with me because of how I was dressed.

The only thing I was disappointed was that they didn't have a program. The lady said that they hadn't been shipped to them at all but I figured I would probably buy one online.

My favorite part was probably the end. After the concert I started walking up to people and telling them that we should have a group cosplay photo. I started running and getting everybody who was dressed up into cosplay to come to the back of the room so we could take a big picture together. I was fairly sure that I got everybody but I might have missed a few people.

We took the picture and screamed Kingdom Hearts Orchestra. I was so happy I felt infinite. I stayed until they started kicking people out lol.

After that I was too tired to eat so I just went back to the hotel room I ate some in and out leftovers and I just went to sleep. By the way I'm glad that room was just under $200 because that was the tiniest hotel room I've ever slept in.

The next morning I packed everything off checked out of the hotel room and luckily the lady was nice enough to let me grab a few muffins so I didn't go hungry. The bus was delayed again (surprise surprise) but we stood in line for about 45 minutes.

We watched each other's bags when we took bathroom breaks. I was so tired. Luckily we got on the bus though. Some crazy lady was in line screaming about literally everything. I remember reminding myself that I shouldn't do drugs.

Anyway we rode the bus and I slept for a really long time. I remember getting up to go to Subway but they didn't have honey oat bread so I just got cookies and tea they had sugar cookies and I was so happy. I should have bought more but I was happy with just three.

After that I slept again cuz I was so tired. I remembered how warm I Kingdom Hearts blanket was and how happy I was to have it. We kept stopping at gas stations. We never stopped at a place where we could get real food. I don't mind gas station food but I was just so terribly hungry.

I ended up eating at a KFC that was right across the street from the gas station that I ran to get food from. I was so afraid that I was going to miss the bus but the guys there were super cool and they made sure to finish my order first so I could get back on the bus.

After that I stood up on the bus and asked if anybody wanted the biscuits because I really do not like biscuits. But I hate wasting food even more. After I get the KFC I was so warm and happy that I surprise went to sleep. I woke up when we're about to hit El Paso. We did have a five-minute break somewhere where I ended up going to the bathroom. The Wi-Fi in the bus was crappy but at least it worked enough so I could use it.

When we got back to the El Paso station kind of wanted to blow my brains out because I feel like I'm always trapped at the El Paso station. But we only waited there for about two hours before I could make my way home. I asked a man if he needed change for the machine I gave him change for the machine and he gave me a $5 bill. I was worried that it was fake but I checked it out with the marker and it was legit and everything I felt so bad for thinking that it was fake but you can't be too careful in this world. I got home a little while ago I picked up some Wendy's on the way home because I was so hungry but now I'm just tired and I feel like I'm going to fall asleep.

I also way over budgeted for this trip but I'm kind of glad I did because having a little too much money is better then not having any at all.

. Good night.

[reject-princess97]

James McVey Imagine

I gabbed my bag and keys before making my way out of my flat and then out of the building into the streets on the cold British night. I pulled my coat tighter around me as I made my way to the train station. Although it was cold It was a nice, clear, stars shining bright kind of night. It was only 8pm and my train doesn't leave until 9:30 so I had plenty of time so I took a nice, peaceful walk to the train station which was only a ten minute walk from where I lived.

I set off, my suitcase trailing behind me, my handbag hung by over my shoulder and my sneaker treading along the floor. I hummed along a song I had stuck in my head, 5 colours in her hair by Mcfly.

I was about fine minutes away from the station when I heard someone call my name. I turned around only to find nobody there so I carried on walking.

It was a few seconds later when I heard my name again. I turned around and this time I saw my Ex boyfriend Danny. I turned away and tried to ignore him but he grabbed a hold of my wrist.

"Where you going Y/N?" He asked. I blanked him and tried to pull away only for him to pull back and his hand was suddenly across my cheek.

I felt tears fill my eyes as the sting on my cheek worsened as he forced my too look at him.

"I asked you a question bitch!" He growled as he pushed me down.

I stumbled to get back up but he grabbed my arm and pulled me close. He grabbed my bag and hit me again.

I stood up and, make a grab for my bag but he only laughed as I fell forward. He grabbed me and threw my bag at his friend as he pulled me close and kissed, hard. I lifted my knee to make contact with his "area" and I ran, not worrying about my bags as I legged it.

I ran into a near by car park that was filled with buses and I ran over to that first bus I was and began banging at the door, calling for help until the doors opened. I fell to the floor, sick and panicked over what happened, when I heard someone speak. I turned to see James McVey of The Vamps

"Hey, are you OK?" He asked I nodded and looked around me, fear taking over.

"I..I..I was attacked by my Ex and his friends and I..." I broke down and he quickly moving to help me stand.

"Okay, come on in." He offered and I nodded, following him in and sitting at the table, James explained to the boys what was going on and they ll nodded understanding.

"OK, well, Brad will make you some tea, Con, go find Joe and Tris..."

"I'll call the police." Tristan interrupted grabbing his phone and walking out of the bus.

"I'll sit here with you if that's OK?" James smiled sitting across from me. I nodded and smiled at him.

"Sure, I don't mind" I smiled sadly.

"Here, you can borrow my jacket, you look freezing." He said as he pulled his hoodie off of himself and wrapped it around me.

"Thanks." I smiled again. I heard the door of the bus open and I walked another man, I was assuming he was Joe and my assumptions was confirmed when he introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Joe, do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked as he sat down next to me.

"Sure, well, I was on my way yo the train station to get the train to my parents house in Blackpool, I'm taking my little sister to a concert Friday night, your concert actually. Anyway I was on my way to the station when I was jumped by my EX and his friends. They took my bag and case that has everything in it, my keys, my phone, my money and ticket for the train." I told them

"The police are on the way." Conor told us entering the room again.

Here, your tea." Brad smiled softly at me as he handed me to cup. I let out a sigh as I took a sip, trying to keep calm. Then I remembered something.

"OH, Crap...my sisters gonna kill me" I blurted out.

"What's up?" James asked concerned.

"The tickets to the show, they were in the bag...she's gonna hate me."

Y/N, you'll be fine." James tried to reassure me.

"No, you don't understand, Danny, my EX used to be really controlling. I missed Christmas because of him and it broke mt sisters heart that I wasn't there. I got her the tickets as a way to say sorry and I promised her the best Christmas present I could find, there was at least £300 in that bag for band merch and stuff oh god, I'm gonna have to disappoint her again. Oh God, I'm the worst sister ever." I cried.

"Hey, it's OK, listen, We can sort out the tickets the show and we can give your sister a bag of merch." Joe smiled at me. "In fact, I'll get the boys to sign a birthday card for her." He offered.

"You don't have to do that, I can handle her." I smiled at him.

"No it's fine and I'll tell you what. After you've spoken to the police, you can hitch a ride with us. Like you said, we've got a show in Blackpool anyways so we'll get you to Blackpool safe." James offered.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Absolutely, we don't leave until tomorrow though." Brad added.

"It's OK, ill call my sister and...oh right, no phone." I sighed.

"You could go back to your place after the police have been, call your mum and grab some clothes then you can come back to the bus." Tristan told me.

"OK, sure." I nodded,

"Great, I'll sort you out a car for you to go home and back."

"Can someone come with me, I don't wanna go alone?" I asked,

"I'll go with her!" James spoke us and Joe nodded

"OK, fine, but you'll have an hour, OK?" He informed us and James and I nodded.

I jumped a little when I heard a knock,

"Guys there are some policemen here." A voice shouted from outside the bus. Joe stood and opened the doors and the boys all followed

"We'll leave you here to speak to the police alone and we'll be back as soon as they leave." James told me and I nodded.

An hour later the police had left and James and I were at my home, I packed some clothes in a bag and then grabbed my landline and dialled my mums number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, mum it's me."

"Y/N what's wrong, why are you calling me on you're landline? Wheres your phone." my mum asked.

"Something happened with Danny..." I began but was cut off by my mother,

"I know it, you're not coming, you do this every time." She yelled at me.

"Mum, I'm still coming, Danny and his friends...."

"I don't want to hear it!" She snapped at me, cutting me off. "This is exactly like Christmas and..."

"Mum, on Christmas day I was laid in a hospital, barely able to open my eyes." I yelled at her

"Yes, well, you dated that woman beater, you should face the....."

"We had broken up by then, you know what I'm not doing this again, I have to go. see you tomorrow." I sighed as I hung up. I spotted James leaning against the door frame.

"Sorry 'bout that, my mum seems to think everything is my fault." I smiled apologetically.

"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault though, he's a bad person." He smiled softly.

"I know." I nodded.

"Come on, let's go, I urm, need to stop at a shop, I gotta get my sister another Birthday card." I smiled grabbing my bag.

"Come then."

We headed back to the car and stopped at a shop where I picked up a birthday card, James picked one up and told me it was for the boys to sigh then we headed back to the Bus.

"So what's your sisters name?" James asked as we sat in the car.

"Amy." I told him.

"Cool, Amy is lucky to have a sister like you." He smiled.

"Yeah, I guess." I laughed back.

"OK, well, you can take my bunk tonight, I'll sleep on the couch." He offered.

"Thanks but I doubt I'll sleep much tonight anyway."

"Well, I'll stay with you until you do." James smiled as we pulled up at the bus.

"Thanks." I grinned.

*The next morning*

The bus left the car park the next morning while I was sleeping so when I woke up I saw the a motor way flash by the window as I sat up from the couch and looked outside. I jumped when I heard a voice call my name and I smiled when I saw Joe stood by the door.

"We'll be arriving in a hour and I need your address, the boys are wanting to drop you off at home and will not take no as an answer." He laughed, handing be a cup filled with coffee. I thanked him and gave him my address. He nodded and walked off, the boys walking in soon after.

"Hey, how are you guys?" I asked sitting up taking a sip of my coffee.

"We should be asking you that." Brad smiled sitting by me, James on my other side handing be a plate with a bacon sandwich on it.

"Yeah, you had a hell of a night, how are you?" James smiled.

"Oh, I'm fine. honestly, it's not the first time its happened, if fact I've been through worse." I sighed, I looked at the boys and they all smiled a sad smile before Connor turned the TV on, Harry Potter filling the room. My attention was taken away from the boys as I turned my attention to the TV. I love Harry Potter, the movies and the books.

"You're a fan of Harry Potter then?" James whispered in my ear, I nodded and smiled up at him.

"Seen all the film, read all the books and for my 16th my mum and dad took my sister and I to Harry Potter world, she bought me a load of stuff from there and she told me that I was crazy when I refused to wear a gryffindor hoodie because I wanted Hufflepuff instead." I told him, smiling at my memory before my smile fell. "A year later I met Danny and he set it on fire a year or so after we met. burned all my Harry Potter stuff because he said it was kids stuff." I told him, not being able to stop confessing about my past.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll tell you what, your next birthday you're 21 right?" He asked and I nodded. "Well, for your 21st, I'll take you to Universal studios where they have a bigger, more exciting Harry Potter world and I'll make sure you get every Hufflepuff product there is." He smiled and I nodded, not believing him,

"Yeah, sure!" I laughed, "Then we can spend the week at Disney land too." I muttered sarcastically but he just smiled and nodded.

"Now you're talking." He said a bit louder, coursing all the boys to look are way.

"What are you too whispering about?" Con asked smirking at James who throw a pillow at him.

"Y/N and I are planning a trip to Disney and Universal for her birthday." James smiled slinging his arm over my shoulder. "You boys in?" He asked and each of the boys all laughed and nodded.

Before I had a chance to speak up the bus came to a stop and I looked to see I was outside of my house. I laughed as I saw my mum and sister walk out of the house, looking at the bus confused. I stood up and ran to the doors, the boys following.

"Hey!" I called as the doors opened and I came face to face with my little sister.

"Y/N?" My mum asked confused as I climbed of the bus. I smiled and hugged my sister but she let out a scream making me jump a mile high moving back. I looked to see she was staring at the bus and when I turned James and Joe where stood behind me, Con, Brad and Tris walking off the bus one by one.

"Amy, these are my friends, Tris, Con, Brad and James." I smiled introducing them as they waved. James stepped forward and handed her an envelope and she just smiled in awe. She opened it an screamed as she held up two back stage passes.

"Holy crap, These are back stage passes, and a card from the vamps how did...when did...." She stuttered looking at me and I explained about the tickets and what happened with Danny and how the boys helped me out.

"Well, thank you boys for your help with Y/N, but this is not necessary, she does this all the time, she uses Danny as an excuse and..." My mum started but was interrupted by Joe's phone. He mumbled a few words and hung up, turning to me and smiling.

"The police have Danny, he had your bag on him when they picked him up, everything was still inside except you're phone and the money" He told me, I nodded and shrugged having already guessed he would find the money and phone.

"Well, it's a good job we picked this up then huh?" James pipe up handing me a box, I opened the box to see a new Samsung inside. "We sent Dean to grab it this morning before we set off, while you were asleep I set it up best I could." I looked up at them wide eyed and shook my head passing it back.

"Nope, I can't accept this, you guys have done enough." I told him but he smiled and shook his head.

"Y/N, you need a phone, besides, how are we going to plan our trip if you don't have a phone?" He smiled winking, I still shook my head and held it out to him.

"I'm not taking it back, you'll have to catch me first." He yelled running off down the street, leaving the boys and I laughing at his childishness.

"I don't run!" I yell back smiling as I picked up the phone from the box and pressed the home button, laughing at the lock screen wallpaper.

"wow, how attractive!" I laughed looking at the screen, A selfie of James, pulling a funny face.

"One of my best don't you think?" He asked running up behind me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"What the hell is going on?" My mum asked looking at James and I being so close and I looked up at her.

"They bought me a phone, were you not paying attention?" I asked rolling my eyes at her.

My mother and I never got along, my little sister was her obvious favourite, she hated when I moved away because her little cleaning slave had left the house and she had to do it all herself. I never hated my sister, in fact I felt bad for her, she wants to live a life with adventure and fun, but instead my mother shoves her in every dance class she can find.

"Enough of the sass young lady, you're not coming in my house with an attitude like that." she told me, I laughed and turned to her.

"Oh mother, I'm not coming in that house. I have a hotel booked, Amy is coming with me tonight and on Saturday I will be leaving back home." I told. she let out a huff and turned and walked off, leaving my sister and I laughing. I turned back to the boys who chuckled at my and I grinned a wide grin.

"OK, Y/N we gotta go, but I'll text you later OK?" James smiled pulling me into a hug and placing a small kiss on the top of my head.

"See you later Y/N" Con smiled hugging me next, then came Brad and Tris who both lifted me of my feet making me squeal a little.

"See you at the show." Joe laughed as I hugged him and waved at the boys as they climbed on  the bus.

"Thank you for everything boys. I owe you my life." I smiled and the boys all laughed.

"We'll just settle for your friendship." Brad called back "Well Tris, Con and I will, James might want a little more!"he finished, James smacked his head laughing, sending a wink my way and I laughed back as the doors closed and the bus drove off, the boys all stood waving at the back window.

"Well, that was....AWESOME!" My sister yelled jumping up and down holding her birthday card to her chest smiling bright.

"Yeah, they were great." I smiled, my gaze following the bus until it disappeared. "I sense the beginning of a great friendship." I smiled throwing my arm over Amy's shoulder.

"I sense the beginning of a beautiful marriage." She smirked nudging me side laughing.

"Right shut up and go get your crap. I need to check into our room." I told her pushing her towards the door. That was when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

James: How about we go out for Pizza after the show, me and you, get to know each other.

I smiled at the text and text him back a quick: I'd like that.

Before I called for a cab so when Amy came out so we could head to the hotel.

[maplestreetsims]

get to know me tag!

so, i came to catfish you all with my updated simself, also i made her with alpha cc bc why not?

I saw @galaxsims did this and i thought it might be fun, so the point of this is to make a simself and answer some q’s so people get to know you better

I’m going to tag anyone who wants to do this, Just go crazy 

   - trash under cut -

1. What is your full name? Constanza

2. What is your nickname? most people call me coti, i had a few friends that called me constance tho

3. Birthday? July 1, 2000

4. What is your favorite book series? i dont read as much as i used to so i dont have one

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? aliens yes, ghosts...maybe? just for the spookines of it all tbh

6. Who is your favorite author? i dont read dont come for me

7. What is your favorite radio station? i never listen to the radio, mostly spotify

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? anything cheese flavored, or like pizza? idk im thinkin chips here

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? amazing, cool!

10. What is your current favorite song? literally queens entire discography??? like i saw bohemian rhapsody last week, i liked queen before but now im like on hyperdrive or something

11. What is your favorite word?  chaos

12. What was the last song you listened to? Somebody to love, by (you guessed it) queen

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? hmm... i dont know, skam, maybe freaks and geeks

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? pride (2014) always makes me feel happy when i watch it, i really like it

15. Do you play video games? yes

16. What is your biggest fear? Ending up alone, but not romantically, more of like no friends, or family

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i dont know... i just try to be a good person?? like i put myself in others peoples shoes and treat them how i would like to be treated i guess, bc i know how its like being treated like shit and i wouldnt want that for anyone lol

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my socializing skills? or lack thereof 

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? i like them both the same

20. What is your favorite season? i dont like any season sjdjsdk

21. Are you in a relationship? nope

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? just.. happiness?? not only my own but like everyone in my family (yikes) also my innocence 

23. Who is your best friend? haha ha

24. What is your eye color? brown

25. What is your hair color? Dark brown 

26. Who is someone you love? no one honestly, maybe my pets?

27. Who is someone you trust? literally anyone who is nice to me, that’s bad

28. Who is someone you think about often? my friends, classmates

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? nothing currently

30. What is your biggest obsession? The sims, life is strange and detroit become human.....also queen?, weird combinations

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Art attack! also the cocodrile hunter??? that was my shit!!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? I know i just said i trust everyone but like....i dont open up, like ever

33. Are you superstitious? No

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Elevators?? and cars...are those phobias?

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind

36. What is your favorite hobby? Editing, playin sims... u know

37. What was the last book you read? I cant remember fghjkljhg probably something for school

38. What was the last movie you watched? Bohemian rhapsody rip

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? i wish i could play any musical instrument, but i suck tbh

40. What is your favorite animal? cats and dogs™

41. What are your top 5 7 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

@pollinationqueen​ @cosmic-espie​ @omiscanking @bloomlet @gunthermunch @cowberrys and @mellocakes ♥♥

42. What superpower do you wish you had? telekinesis??? um hell yeah why would anyone want anything else

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? this is weird but when im riding the bus home, listening to music

44. What makes you smile? my simblr, youtube videos...

45. What sports do you play, if any? i wish

46. What is your favorite drink? coca cola beech! 

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? I dont even remember, but i had to write something like that around this year at least

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? it used to be hearing people chew, but i think im over it

50. Have you ever been to a concert? no, never

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? No

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? a vet

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? idk sis

54. What is something you worry about? my future, and my life

55. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes

56. Do you like to sing? yes, only when im alone

57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah, but i tried not to, it felt like i was missing out and that kinda made me feel like shit??

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dont think i have one, but more like a bunch of them? and only at specific times if that make sense, like the outside of that theater at nightime when i went to see a play with my friends a while ago

59. Where would you like to live? mmm maybe the usa? or anywhere where i could get to speak english all the time

60. Do you have any pets? a cat and a dog, Mercury and Candy!

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, def

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets, im never up for sunrises anyways, unless i stayed up all night

63. Do you know how to drive? no but i hope that i do at some point, although im scared of cars

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones

65. Have you ever had braces? nope, my teeth are as straight as me

66. What is your favorite genre of music? rock, indie...maybe pop rock?

67. Who is your hero? i dont have one

68. Do you read comic books? not really

69. What makes you the most angry? myself sometimes

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book all the way, when i do read that is

71. What was your favorite subject in school? cinematography class???? idk how it translates properly but that was my fave, although the teacher fucking ruined it for all of us tbh

72. Do you have any siblings? nope

73. What was the last thing you bought? a bus ticket

74. How tall are you? 4′9...yikes

75. Can you cook? not at all

76. What are three things that you love? this blog, my family and my pets

77. What are three things that you hate? hooo boy

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? i have 0 friends what does that mean? jk i actually would say its pretty equal 

79. What is your sexual orientation? yes

80. Where do you currently live? Uruguay, montevideo

81. Who was the last person you texted? my dad

82. When was the last time you cried? last week

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? jenna and julien, and probably every sims youtuber(seriously)

84. Do you like to take selfies? not so much

85. What is your favorite app? tumblr, or youtube

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? its alright

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? portugeese

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? mmm all of them

89. What is your favorite number? 7

90. Can you juggle? Nop

91. Are you religious? no

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? The ocean

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? hahah no

94. Are you allergic to anything? i used to be allergic to a bunch of shit when i was a kid but im not allergic to it anymore?? like chocolate, oranges....cats, and dust

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Yes

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? always hopefully

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? i dont really ask for advice that often so...idk

100. Are you a good liar? No, but i try

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff

102. Do you talk to yourself? i used to talk to myself all the time, but now i barely do it, thats a good thing right?

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no, i used to when i was a kid but it was pure garbage

105. Do you believe in second chances? Depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? look for an id to see if i cant turn it in, if not....well

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes, but only in certain things

108. Are you ticklish? i dont even know, probably not

109. Have you ever been on a plane? no

110. Do you have any piercings? yeah, my ears

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? idk

112. Do you have any tattoos? No, but hopefully i will some day!

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? i dont know....

114. Do you believe in karma? yeah

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no

116. Do you want children? yeah why not

117. Who is the smartest person you know? honestly i don’t know

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? doing a cindirella theatre play for my school when i was 12, i was cindirella, i dont wanna talk about it njxkcfxf

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? not that i remember, i always end up falling asleep, dosent matter if its like 10 minutes 

120. What color are most of you clothes? green.........i dont even like green

121. Do you like adventures? yeah maybe, depends on what it is

122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah i have actually lmao, it was on a kids tv show 

123. How old are you? 18

124. What is your favorite quote? “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents” 

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory!!

[ribkabubbles]

Life update (:

Past month and a half was so full of events :D I’ve spent two weeks in Europe, then i’d got 2 weeks preparing for a convention. And after that i flew back to my native city to visit my parents and relatives for another two weeks. 

Now i am back home in St. P. and i’ve spent 12 hours in bed xD heaven! 

It was nice to spent some time with my parents and grandparents. For some reason felt a bit melancholic, like i’ve got a bit more distanced from them than i used to? But it was nice none the less. Checked on my health, cause i don’t do it here by myself (i know, i know, i should). 

Everything’s okay with me, thank goodness. The only thing doctors keep saying “You’re 28 and haven’t got a baby yet? Better hurry up!”. And i also met with my cousins (i have a lot of them) and pretty much each of them asked me “Why are you not married yet? When will you make your parents happy with a grandchild?”. *rolling eyes* 

I guess these questions and the feeling of coming back to an empty apartment made me miss my ex. Or rather miss someone, who would cuddle me and give soft kisses. It’s hard coming back to being single, when i spent 3 years being in a relationship. But i am okay, don’t worry xD 

Oh! I bought myself Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban when i was in Warsaw. I think last time i read it was in like 8th grade, when i was something like 13? Fifteen years ago. Third movie was always my favorite and i always loved Lupin and Sirius. But oh my! I’ve remembered why i love them, especially Lupin <3333 I have such an urge to draw him, ARGH now i need to buy full set of books and re-read everything. 

Another thing, i am going to Portugal in March to see Twenty One Pilots, so i have to save up for this trip. But >< my friend showed me an ad of a concert, which will take place in Prague on Februaty 1st. It’s John Powell’s concert. And of course they will play HTTYD ost. And one of my lifetime dreams is to hear it live. So yeah... i just spent the small amount of money i had on tickets to Prague and the concert xD BUT I AM SO HAPPY! Can’t believe it. 

Now the only thing left to hear live is LOTR ost... :D 

Anyway! I am back and need to get back to working as fast as i can. And also, i am in a such Christmas mood kejwekjwwlejk i wanna decorate my flat and just skate around a Christmas tree, drink hot tea, eat cookies and watch movies.

Happy almost December!

[vantemei]

taehyung remembers the first time he met min yoongi. It was the best day of his life. taehyung had been a fan of agust d since he first heard his collaboration track 'cypher pt.3' and he had been following the rapper ever since. when it was announced that agust d would be doing a concert with jhope and rm in his hometown daegu taehyung had been ecstatic, he'd bought tickets the minute they were available and dragged his best friend jimin with him to the concert decked out in full agust d merch including the hat with three rings on it that the rapper liked to wear in the few selfies he would post on twitter and fan cafe. taehyung hadn't been able to afford vip tickets but he had been lucky enough to get front row. jimin had dared him halfway through to throw his shirt up on stage and who was taehyung to say no in the heat of the moment? only minutes after that he was throwing his underwear up on stage as well and watching with wide eyes as agust d caught it and slipped it into his back pocket where it remained for the rest of the concert.

when security came up to taehyung after the show and asked him to come back stage he thought he was going to die of a heart attack and jimin had to drag him through the backstage hallways until they reached the dressing rooms and there he was, agust d, leaning against the entrance to his dressing room sipping from a bottle of water and holding taehyung's ripped underwear in his free hand. when he saw taehyung coming closer he smirked and that was it, taehyung was absolutely in love.

two months later taehyung found himself pressed against the inside of a dressing room door in busan groaning into min yoongi's mouth and running his fingers through the baby soft hairs at the base of the rappers neck. six months saw them moaning together in yoongi's studio chair, lost in each other's bodies. now, three years later, taehyung sits at the table in their shared apartment and stares at the beautiful silver band on his left ring finger. he can't help the way his eyes burn as he glances over at the clock hanging beside the front door. 21:45. yoongi was supposed to be home at 18:00. taehyung sighs and turns away, looking over the carefully prepared seolleongtang in the center of the table and feels his throat tighten. taehyung makes his way around the table, clearing away the sides and dishes he set out and packing the seolleongtang away for later. he glances at the clock again and can't hide the huff he lets out when he sees another half hour has passed.

the pattering of small feet on the floor eases the crease between his brows. yeontan is always able to put a smile on taehyung's face no matter what. taehyung coos and lifts the small puppy into his arms, smiling widely as yeontan rapidly licks at his jaw, yipping happily at his human. taehyung can feel the frustration and hurt at yoongi fading to the background as he walks over the couch, pulling out his phone to send a few pictures to jimin who always loves the updates on his favorite puppy.

yoongi curses as he checks the time on his phone and sees that it's almost one in the morning. taehyung is probably asleep by now but yoongi is not looking forward to the lecture he'll probably get in the morning. more of the same shit about 'getting home late' and 'making taehyung worry'. honestly, he's a grown man, he can do whatever he wants. yoongi doesn't get why taehyung has been so touchy lately. he thanks the cab driver as he gets out in front of his apartment building and takes a moments to steady himself before walking in. his vision is a little blurry and yoongi nearly trips over his own feet on his way to the elevator, groaning at the throbbing in his head from the loud bass of the club and the alcohol he downed like water just a half hour earlier. after the show, some of the vip ticket fans offered to buy yoongi, namjoon, and hoseok drinks and they had agreed easily, the adrenaline of the show carrying them through two rounds of bbq and several hours of karaoke and clubbing. yoongi had lost track of his phone for a good hour but when he had found it in his pocket and noticed the time to be well past midnight he had hurriedly said his goodbyes and called a cab.

leaning against the wall of the elevator now, yoongi can't remember why he was in such a rush to get home at first and he shrugs off the thought, after all, if it was important he wouldn't have missed it. it's not like it was taehyung's birthday or anything. yoongi is too drunk to care honestly, he just wants to find some food and pass out, crawl into taehyung's arms and cuddle up to his nice, warm fiance. the elevator dings at his floor and yoongi stumbles out into the hallway, swaying up to the door and fumbling with his keys for a few moments before the door is opening and taehyung's tired, red-eyed face is staring him down.

taehyung heard yoongi coming from down the hall. the heavy footsteps and thudding of him bumping into the wall, taehyung had heard the same sounds every night for the past couple weeks if yoongi even came home at all. taehyung had brought it up twice and yoongi had just brushed him off, told him to stop being overbearing and taehyung had let it go, didn't think it was worth the fight, but today? the anniversary of taehyung's father's death? the one day he didn't want to spend alone, especially after yoongi had said they would spend it together cuddling and they would pay respects together? it meant a lot to taehyung when yoongi had said that. but here he was, at two in the morning with red eyes after paying respects by himself, and absolutely done with yoongi, so when he heard the familiar fumbling at their door, he yanked it open and glared at his fiance.

the gummy smile that lights up yoongi's face hurt and taehyung can't help the choked sob that wrenches itself from his chest. yoongi looks absolutely shell shocked at the sound and taehyung feels his stomach plummet at the surprise on his face. he turns away, vaguely aware of yoongi shutting the door and following after him before a hand on his wrist is tugging him back.

"taehyung, baby what's wrong?" yoongi's voice is slurred and it makes the sadness in taehyung's chest bubble into anger.

"what's wrong?! really yoongi? it's two in the morning! you were supposed to be home hours ago! i've been waiting for you!"

yoongi looks taken aback by taehyung's sudden anger but he raises to meet it immediately. "i never told you to! no one said you have to wait for me, you could have just gone to bed!"

"that's not the point yoongi! the point is that you've been coming home later and later every night and we've barely had a chance to spend time together in weeks! i thought at least today of all days you would be here yoongi!"

"fuck today! what's so special about today? why are you acting so petty about this? i'm a grown man, taehyung, i can do whatever i want to!"

taehyung knows that yoongi is drunk and he knows that even when he's sober yoongi's temper is not something to mess with but honesty taehyung is just sick and tired of bending over backwards for whatever yoongi wants.

"yeah you know what?! fuck today yoongi! fuck today! of course you don't remember what today - oh sorry yesterday -  was. why would you anyway!? it's not like you should care right? just cause we've been together for three years -  just because you fucking asked me to marry you - yeah, why does that mean you should remember something as stupid as yesterday?!"

"would you stop yelling taehyung?! god you're such a whiny bitch! so what i came home a little late? stop trying to make this some big deal! what did i miss? your house plant's birthday? why do you have to get on my ass about to much stupid shit! if i had known you were gonna end up being so clingy then maybe i wouldn't have proposed!"

taehyung has been holding back tears since that first sob but when yoongi says that, when yoongi stumbles forward and shoves his hands against taehyung's shoulders and pushes with all his strength, when taehyung falls like a shaking bag of leaves, pliant under the hands he never thought would hurt him, he can't hold back his tears. his head thumps painfully against the wall and his eyes are wide as he looks up at yoongi, eyes narrowed on taehyung's fallen form and mouth twisted down in a grimace.

"y-you don't mean that. yoon-"

"i do! you're so fucking annoying taehyung! always wanting to cuddle and needing attention like some stupid fucking puppy! and you're always saying such weird shit, god what are you five?! do you know how embarrassing that is? maybe if you weren't such an alien i'd want to spend more time with you!"

there's a distressed whining noise and it takes a second for taehyung to realize it;s not coming from him. yeontan is peeking his head around the hallway and taehyung glances over at him before looking back at the floor in front of him. yoongi's shoes disappear from his   line of sight and he hears the fridge opening and some rustling before it shuts and yoongi's steps disappear down the hall followed by the slam of their door.

taehyung can feel the wetness of the tears slipping down his cheeks but it's hardly noticeable compared to the paralyzing coldness of the hole yoongi just ripped in his heart. taehyung doesn't know how long he sits there, leaning with his back against the wall. it's must not have been longer than thirty minutes but it feels like an eternity. at some point yeontan gave up licking at his hand and is curled up in taehyung's lap, sleeping peacefully.

eventually, the screaming silence of the apartment becomes too much for taehyung to take and he gently moves yeontan to a cushion on the couch, pressing a soft kiss to the pup's head before he grabs his phone and keys and leaves the apartment. taehyung isn't sure where he's headed but it doesn't really matter, as long as it's not where he just was. it's still dark out, lit only by the street lamps and storefronts of their neighborhood, but taehyung doesn't take any notice. all he can hear is yoongi's words repeating over and over in his head.

it feels like everything is happening in slow motion. the whoosh of the convenience store automatic doors opening just across the street in front of him, the flash of headlights to his left, the screech of tires on rain slick pavement. and then it speeds up. there's a horrible crunching sounds and taehyung feels like he's flying for a split second before glass is crunching beneath him and he's rolling up- up, and then over, before he's falling again. there's more screeching as the car stops somewhere to his - his what? right? taehyung can't tell. he's faced...down maybe? it's all dark in front of one of his eyes, he doesn't know which one. it hurts. why does it hurt? he tries to bring his hand to his face but he - he can't - why can't he move his arm - his eye, the one that doesn't hurt, it blinks once - twice - he can't see his hand. only a tire -  why is there a tire where his hand should be? why is the tire so close?

there's more screaming and then the screeching sounds again - his hand! taehyung can see his hand! it's - it's red? why is it red? why does it look like that? what's that white thing? taehyung tries to move his other hand and he feel victorious when it moves. his head, it's looking at the wrong hand right now, he has to see the better one. turn turn turn - oh! there it is! his hand! this one isn't red! teahyung's eye wanders and he spots his phone, the screen horribly cracked and alight with a message. there's still someone screaming and it sounds like someone is talking to him but taehyung doesn't care he should tell yoongi about his phone, he'll need a new screen he slaps the ground a few times on accident before it lands on his phone and he grins his mouth tastes like copper. his mouth hurts. so much hurts the phone rings a few times and it sounds strangely loud against the ringing in taehyung's ears.

"what do you want taehyung?" yoongi sounds sleepy. yoongi is so cute when's he's sleepy.

"y-yoonie - " his chest hurts so much why does he hurt so much where is yoongi "yoonie i'm - i hurt"

the dial tone echoes like guillotine and taehyung remembers why yoongi isn't there, he remembers and it hurts oh god it hurts - so much why why why why he doesn't want to hurt why does he hurt why him -

there's more yelling and then hands are on taehyung and it feels like fire, he tries to scream but it's wet and weak and tastes like copper and all taehyung manages before he feels himself being moved and his world dissolves into white hot agony.