#mod aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

How can I help when my partner is having hallucination from his schizophrenia? What are the do's and don'ts? I know I shouldn't do things like giving "realism" to it (like talking to it or trying to hit it), and that I should make sure that he is safe first of all, but what else should I do? I love him and want to support him in every way I can, but I don't know if I'm missing something.

Hi Anon, 

Your ask warmed my heart. It is so wonderful that you want to support your mentally ill partner no matter what. I think one of the best ways is to inform yourself and research schizophrenia.

Here are some resources that might help you out:

60 Tips for supporting loved ones with schizophrenia spectrum disorders or any other MI

9 things not to say to someone with mental illness

Want to help a friend with a mental illness or disorder? This post provides some great tips.

Schizophrenia: A Masterpost

Schizophrenia & Schizophrenia Spectrum resources

Psychotic experiences: explains psychotic experiences, including possible causes and how you can access treatment and support. Includes tips for helping yourself, and guidance for friends and family.

-Mod Aesh

[diluvioaluglio]

[kateredlips]

[mentalillnessmouse]

I have literally no healthy coping mechanisms. Like I have nothing. I’ve tried so many things but nothing helps. And advice?

Here are some things you will find useful!

You Feel Like Shit – An Interactive Self Care Guide is a great place to start if you’re having a bad episode and need help calming down (this is good for troubleshooting your mental health, but it does not contain interpersonal support).

Here are some exercises you can do that helps to keep you in the present: grounding techniques, mental grounding exercises, physical grounding exercises, soothing grounding exercises.

This is a guide on how to make a comfort box.

Safety plan cards are a great idea to keep in your wallet or comfort box which reminds you of your coping mechanisms and people who you can call to be safe.

Pleasant event scheduling is a very simple technique where you do at least 3 pleasant events per week so your life if filled with happy enjoyable moments. Here is also a Pleasant Activities List where you can rate how enjoyable you find an activity. Don’t worry about the scoring – this is just a way to help you gauge which activities to include that will help the most. 

Mood Gym is an interactive website that allows you to learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills for preventing and coping with depression.

-Mod Aesh

[madisonjayneholt]

requests??

would anyone like me to create aesthetics and upload them into YouTube videos!?

[mentalillnessmouse]

I dread going to therapy every week bc I find it draining and anxiety inducing. What should I do?

This is absolutely normal and I commend you for doing the best thing and keep going! I recommend having something pleasant to do before and after. Be nice to yourself and eventually your body and mind will associate the pleasant thing with your therapy session.

Pleasant event scheduling is a very simple technique where you do at least 3 pleasant events per week so your life if filled with happy enjoyable moments.

Here is also a Pleasant Activities List where you can rate how enjoyable you find an activity. Don’t worry about the scoring – this is just a way to help you gauge which activities to include that will help the most.

This is a guide on how to make a comfort box.

You Feel Like Shit – An Interactive Self Care Guide is a great place to start if you’re having a bad episode and need help calming down (this is good for troubleshooting your mental health, but it does not contain interpersonal support).

-Mod Aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

When a friend just completely stops talking to you after you’ve annoyed them, is that a narcissistic trait? She hasn’t talked to me in months after I asked her why she wouldn’t let me follow this guy from her job & I asked her why and she just never replied and just stopped talking to me like I did the most horrible thing in the world

Hi there!

I want to start that it’s very possible that friend has other stuff going on, and you aren’t necessarily being annoying. Try giving them time.I’m not saying this to make you feel silly or annoying; it’s a 100% valid concern. 

It personally sounds like someone would ignore you for soooo long just for a tiny thing like that, not at least with my personal experience. It is also worth straight up asking them, “Hey, did I do something to upset you for you to not talk to me for months.” Perhaps they will explain what is going on.

If this friend hasn’t talked to you for months and they don’t respond to that, maybe it is time to move on. It’s painful to say, but perhaps they have moved on. Here are some great resources on boundaries:

10 ways to build emotional boundaries

Creating emotional freedom

Healthy personal boundaries

Emotional boundaries

Here are some great relationship (not necessarily romantic) resources:

Communicating Effectively, a collection of useful PDFs on how to communicate efficiently.

All Your Friendship Questions, Answered is a collections of asks, answers, and tips,  about friendship.

How to Deal With Losing a Friend

Unfortunately, I do not know enough about the situation to say whether or not the friend is displaying narcissistic traits.

-Mod Aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

How do you not isolate while being in recovery? I go to my therapist appointments, do my coping skills but I have bpd and anxiety and I keep messing up, and everytime I do peopel leave saying Im toxic and manipulative but Im TRYING. Im at the point where I dont want people around anymore because apparently all I do is hurt and they hurt me. I cant even escape here because I see all the posts about how bpd people are toxic. No matter what I do its not good enough and Im close to giving it all up.

Hey there Anon, 

I have BPD and I understand where you are coming from. I know it is hard because you know that having BPD doesn’t excuse you from being toxic but the line of being toxic and not being toxic is blurred. I recommend keeping a journal so that you can go back and analyze your actions from a more detached point of view so that you can better understand what is happening. I also recommend unfollowing or blocking blogs that are spreading that rhetoric about BPD. Seeing that over and over again is hurtful and dangerous. 

Here are our other resources for BPD:

This post lists ten guidelines for families, partners, and friends, of people with BPD.

This is a toolbox with tips and hints for people with personality disorders.

National Education Alliance Borderline Personality Disorder [NEABPD]

PsychCentral – BPD symptoms and general information

BPD Central

NAMI – BPD overview and resources

BPD Demystified

Healing From BPD (contains chatroom)

DailyStrength.org Personality Disorders Support Group

Amazing Powerpoint PDF of all the DBT skill

-Mod Aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

I'm not sure if this'll make sense but I've been thinking & going back on how/why I've always thought everyone hates me at some point(bc of either one person that doesn't like me or just gaining that perspective of me)bc of the way I'd be treated back in like pre-school or early elementary school days,& summer camp(being the only filipino/black kids in school in an all black community besides my other siblings)& I'm just trying to slowly pull myself away from that mindset, can I have some tips?

Hi there!

Here are some great resources on setting up boundaries. They are more to do with current people bothering you, but I feel as if they will still be useful for you:

10 ways to build emotional boundaries

Creating emotional freedom

Healthy personal boundaries

Emotional boundaries

Mental Support Community, a forum to talk about bullying in any form and how it affects your life.

5 strategies to help teens cope with bullying

Here are so general mental health resources to help:

You Feel Like Shit – An Interactive Self Care Guide is a website that will take you through steps to feeling okay during times when you don’t feel well.

Superbetter is an interactive way to focus on recovery from pretty much anything. It was created by a video game designer when she was recovering from a traumatic brain injury and can be used to help with recovering from various mental or physical health issues.

Mood Gym is an interactive website that allows you to learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills for preventing and coping with depression. The techniques can additionally be applied to a range of mental health issues.

Help Guide, a site containing articles to help understand, help numbers,  “tool kits”, and self help.

Mental Help, a site that has basic information, resources, articles, and a list of books that might be helpful.

Annnnd lastly, here are some resources to cope with flashbacks:

Coping with flashbacks

AboutHealth tells you about coping with flashbacks.

Here are some tips and tricks on coping with flashbacks.

-Mod Aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

Hi! I'm finally getting my first therapist appointment in late October, and I've been trying to get one since last November. I thought I would be excited because I've been trying to get help for so long. But now I'm kinda nervous? I've spent all this time thinking "I need help" but is that actually true?!?! And what do you even say to a therapist? Like "Hi, i don't want to exist. Can we do something about that?" And it's for an hour!!! How do I talk about myself for that long? Any advice?

Hi Anon!

Getting a therapist is often the first step to helping yourself! In the times that you are questioning yourself, think about what made you reach out for help in the first place. Also, even if it is decided that therapy might not be for you, the therapist won’t be angry or disappointed. They will still point you in the best directions because that is their job.

If you don’t know what to say, write out what is happening. What are the life circumstances at this time? What are stressers? When did it begin? Is there anything that helps or make it worse? Do you see any patterns?

If you do not know what to talk about, tell the therapist, and they will ask you questions!

50 Signs of Good Therapy.

Having issues with therapy? Here are 50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy.

21 Tips for getting the most out of each therapy session.

6 Ways to open up to your therapist.

What should happen in a session.

5 Tips on how to talk about yourself in therapy.

7 things to do during your first therapy appointment.

Here is a video demonstrating what a first therapy session may look like made by a mental health professional.

-Mod Aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

who did i need to go to to find a professional diagnosis? i’ve been dealing with mental health problems for too many fucking years and i still feel like i’m faking

To get a diagnosis, you will need to go to a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist. 

The below resources are for finding therapists, but the process is similar:

This post on picking a therapist has some great tips.

This is a step by step on getting a therapist.

Psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?.

50 Signs of Good Therapy.

Having issues with therapy? Here are 50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy.

21 Tips for getting the most out of each therapy session.

6 Ways to open up to your therapist.

What should happen in a session.

5 Tips on how to talk about yourself in therapy.

Need to find a therapist by location? Psychologytoday lets you search by city or zip code in Austria, Australia, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Ireland, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom, and United States.

Can’t afford therapy? No insurance? Need low cost options? Here is a great list of ways to get help when money or insurance is an issue and here an article on how to locate low-cost mental health care in the US and Canada.

7 things to do during your first therapy appointment.

Here is a video demonstrating what a first therapy session may look like made by a mental health professional.

-Mod Aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

Well, I don't know what resources I can offer regarding cotards delusion/syndrome, but I can offer some advice as a fellow sufferer. The most important bit: don't be alone with it. Talk to people who you trust and your doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist about it too. It can be hard and bear in mind that people won't necessarily know how to react but with time they can help you with reality checks and such. Remember to eat! And best of luck.

Thanks for the tips!!

-Mod Aesh

[mentalillnessmouse]

Do you have any advice on how to go about cutting off toxic people in your life, especially parents? How do you have that conversation? Do you even need to have that conversation at all?

Hi Anon!

These situations can be particularly difficult. There isn’t really a guide for every single one. For friends, you might not need to have the conversation unless they ask if you are set on not giving them another chance. For parents, it can be tricky, especially if you are still a minor or living in their household. Some people also feel that telling them is necessary for closure, but that might not be the case for you. My advice? Write out pros and cons for each one. If you decide to have this conversation, prepare yourself for the possible reactions. It will also help to write out and rehearse what you will say.

Here are some resources for you:

10 ways to build emotional boundaries

Creating emotional freedom

Healthy personal boundaries

Emotional boundaries

How to Tell Your Friend That You Need a Break From Supporting Them

Communicating Effectively, a collection of useful PDFs on how to communicate efficiently. 

Best of Luck!

-Mod Aesh