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latte-fairytaekwoon · 3 years

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𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚠𝚊

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, encouraging, justifying, promoting nor romanticizing yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, violence, degradation, physical/mental abuse, kidnapping, hostage holding, self-harm, attempted murder and other yandere behavior. Read at your own discretion.

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𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚠𝚊

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝟹𝚛𝚍, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟾

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟾 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟷𝟶 𝙵𝚃.

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝙳𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢.

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

𝙽𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜.

𝙱𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

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He was the school's and the town's heartthrob.

From the time he was young, every girl was in love with him and every boy wanted to be him.

From the tenderest of age, old folks were praising how cute and adorable he was.

That's just how Park Seonghwa grew up, being admired and loved by everyone around him. He was so used to his little club of adoring fans.

He dated, or more like, messed around with more than a couple of girls in his classes.

Not a single one of them was immune to his charms, even if at first they said they'd never ever fall for him. They always fell like dominoes.

And then the day finally came....The day someone ignored him, the day someone didn't worship the ground he walked on.....

The day someone not only refused but humiliated him in front of others.

You had recently moved into the small town, wanting to get away from all the bustling and, in your opinion, futile life of the city.

So you moved somewhere more quiet, serene, calm.

You only wanted a nice and comfortable life, and with the small but sturdy job you accepted, it allowed you to have a comfortable living.

For a while, no one really noticed or payed the to you, and those that did were wary of you.

You couldn't blame them. A stranger suddenly moves into their town? Of course they'd be careful.

You were very observant and in that time you observed Seonghwa.

He was good looking you had to admit, but he had come into the shop with a girl by his side which suggested to you they were an item.

Meaning he was off limits so you didn't bother to think about him.

But then he came in weeks later with a different girl, which threw you off a little.

And then a different girl, then another and you saw the pattern.

You shook your head and cringed at him. "Fuck boi." You muttered every time you saw him.

It didn't take long for him to hear about the new girl in town.

Which to him meant another heart to steal and a pair of legs to open and add to his collection.

He was with his friends, who were anxious to see what would happen.

You saw him confidently stride up to you, cocky grin on his face as his eyes looked you up and down. You internally scoffed.

"Don't think you can easily play me boy." You resolved in your head to wipe that smirk off.

"Hey gorgeous. Come here often?" He winked at you.

"I work here." You responded with absolutely no emotion or expression, barely giving him a glance as you arranged the shelves in the store.

He moved so you could see him better, thinking it would cause you to melt, but you just stared straight at him as if he wasn't there.

"If you need any assistance, please ask one of the managers. I only stock the merchandise."

You had to hold back from laughing at his shocked face, probably because no girl had ever not blushed or become flustered from his close proximity.

You moved away from him to put some articles on the next aisle.

Not giving up, Seonghwa followed after you, his friends trailing close behind you.

He tapped your shoulder to get your attention again.

For the first time in his life, a girl glared at him as if he was no more than a bug....

That was strike one for him.

"Listen...... I.......just wanted to get your number?" He couldn't believe that he was actually sweating nervously.

"Sorry. I don't give my number to strangers." You stated.

Seeing an opportunity, Seonghwa smiled flirtatiously at you.

"Well then maybe I should take you out. Then we won't be strangers. Maybe we could even get...really close." He licked his lips.

His face froze when he saw you roll your eyes at him.

That was strike two.

"Thank you but no. And if you'll excuse me."

You moved to leave him there again, but his hand reached out and gripped your wrist, a little too rough for your liking.

"Come on darling...no one's ever said no to me."

Yanking your hand away, you looked at him with disgust as you told him:

"I believe I just did."

Those words and the snorts and giggles from his friends behind him were strike three for him.

In that moment something snapped in him.

How dare someone like you reject him? The Park Seonghwa.

He was so stunned by your actions that he couldn't get you out of his mind from then on.

He no longer looked at any other girls.

His thoughts were fixated on you and only you.

He had to win you over, he just had to.

You were the ultimate challenge and he was going to make sure he was victorious.

But you made it so damn difficult.

Every. Single. Time.

You never hid how much he annoyed you and that pissed him off so much.

Days turned to a month, then 3 and still you kept refusing him.

The final straw for him was when he tried gifting you a rather expensive necklace that would have anyone else swooning.

Not batting a wink, you threw the case back to him.

"I'm not some whore you can buy for the night just cause you feel like it. Go find someone else to be your toy, fuckboi."

He gripped the case so harshly it actually bent, eyes staring daggers at you as you walked home.

"You're not getting away so easily. You're going to regret this."

You were surprised when you didn't see Seonghwa the next day..

Or for an entire week.

But you shrugged it off, perhaps he had finally learned his lesson and opted for leaving you alone.

Walking home, you couldn't help but feel like something eerie was going to happen.

You tried ignoring it by plugging in your headphones and just head home as soon as possible. It was dark and cold.

You weren't paying attention to your surroundings so you didn't see nor hear the car that was heading straight to you.

You only felt something knock you to the ground, immediately passing out from your head hitting the pavement.

The driver got out of the vehicle, his dark orbs staring down at your unconscious figure.

Bending down, he tilted your chin to look at your bloody face.

"I told you would regret this."

You woke up sore and with a pounding headache days later.

But more than anything, you woke up frightened when you saw you were chained down on a chair, wrists bound on the arm rests and feet tied to the legs.

Who the hell would kidnap you?

Your answer came in the form of Seonghwa himself, coming into the dimly lit basement where he held you.

He smirked as he saw you swallow harshly when he came close to you, face bending down at eye level to you.

"You can get out of this whole mess you know...."

Cupping your chin, he brought his lips dangerously close to yours.

"Just give in to me and agree to be mine."

You swore this had to be a joke. He'd go through all this trouble just for this shit?

Unable to stand his close proximity, you opted for showing your contempt for him by spitting on his face........something he did not take kindly to.

He looked at you as if you committed a heinous crime. And he wasn't going to let you get away with it.

Lifting your face up, he slapped you several times across the face, not satisfied until your nose was bleeding and your cheeks were stinging so badly, there was going to be bruising for sure.

You cried out when he harshly gripped your burning cheeks, adding even more pain.

"Sooner or later, you'll have to give in. The more you resist, the worse it'll get."

He left you there for 3 days, or a week. You honestly couldn't remember, you were going in and out of consciousness for a while.

When he finally let you out, you thought he'd be a little more nicer to you, but you were wrong.

Things only got worse.

You were being treated worse than an animal.

You couldn't walk anywhere, you had to crawl. You weren't allowed to use utensils for food, nor your hands.

The first time you tried to refuse to these rules, Seonghwa shoved you to the floor and dragged you by the hair across the hallway.

And as for food, he smashed your face into the bowl, you were surprised it didn't break from how hard he did it.

You could never look him in the eye or else you'd get struck across the cheek.

"Never look your betters in the eye. You should be grateful I even spare a glance at such a lowlife like you."

He lived, no...he thrived out of humiliating you.

It was sickening to know that such an individual could hate someone so much to go out of their way to try and dominate them to such an extent.

The times he was actually being 'nice' to you, his voice was filled with mock pity, talking to you as if you were his little pet.

It was those times where you truly couldn't hold back and glared at him.

And it always end with you back in the basement, stripped naked, and left there for days in the cold, body bleeding and sore from the canning he gave you.

And everytime he came back, he'd always say the same thing:

"You could end all of this if only you'd love me."

More than once you thought about giving in, even if just pretending.

He couldn't possibly treat you any worse than he did now.

But your inner strength, independence and repulsion from him kept you from giving in.

You'd rather die than ever let Park Seonghwa win and give him that. satisfaction.

But the day you found out you were pregnant with his kid, you knew you had to get out of there.

You were not going to allow a child to be raised by a monster.

You never told him anything, he couldn't know. You even resorted to cutting yourself so he'd believe you were still menstruating.

And for months you played it nice, obeyed him so he wouldn't cause you harm or to the baby.

He actually began to soften up, thinking he had finally broken you into the perfect lover he imagined.

"Fucking idiot."

That was the exact thing you thought when you finally allowed him to kiss you, instead of the forced ones he'd usually give you.

Taking advantage that his guard was down, you pulled out the knife you had hidden and didn't hesitate to plunge it on his side.

He pulled back in shock, but had no time to react because you just took out the knife and plunged it back in...

Over and over again until he layed unconscious on the floor.

Blood was everywhere and you honestly couldn't believe you did that.

Choking back the tears, you scrambled to find anything that could help you break the lock, which you eventually found.

You ran out of that place, never looking back.

You didn't run into the direction of the town, people would be too suspicious.

You ran towards the direction of the highway, hoping someone would find you and take you to the nearest hospital or police station.

It seemed luck was on your side as a woman immediately stopped when she saw you running.

She didn't hesitate to help you out, taking you to a hospital so you could get checked up.

You lied and simply said you had been kidnapped and managed to escape, feigning that you don't remember who your kidnapper was.

The police bought your story and more so dropped the interrogation when you said you didn't want to press charges and just wanted to lay low for a while.

You moved all the way across the country, far far away from the place of hell you were in.

You quickly got a job and a small, but comfortable home to raise your newborn daughter in.

She was such a cute and beautiful baby, looking like an exact replica of her father which somewhat haunted you but you pushed those thoughts aside.

Time had passed, you were safe, she was safe and almost a year old, and you'd never have to worry about that insane man ever again.........

So you believed.

Unaware of the piercing eyes that were looking through your opened window, staring at you as you fed yours and his baby.

"You'll love me in the end....."

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grxywarxn · 4 years

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Revisiting Banana Fish, Almost Two Years Later.

*Spoiler warning for any new comers to the fandom.*

The Banana Fish fandom, to put it bluntly, is pretty much dead. I haven't been as active as I was when I first discovered the anime in October two years ago, but oddly enough, I think I still think about this series almost every day. I still think, even if only for a second, about Ash, about Eiji, about the impact their story, and all the other characters story, has had on me.

I'm really only posting this to ramble. To talk about the relationship between Eiji and Ash, and to of course, talk about the ending and Garden of Light. (Which was only in the manga for any anime onlys. I've also made a post on the ending when the last episode came out, but it was mainly manga focused and written horribly.)

I will begin first with the importance of the relationship:

Ash is a character who has been through a lot of shit. That much is clear from the first episode. (Papa Dino, trailing his hand down Ash's cheek with his possesive grip and condecending tone.)

Ash's story is difficult. Is it one of redemption? Yes, but no.

When Ash sees Eiji poll vault, when he sees Eiji fly through the air freely and gracefully, he too wants to do that. He wants to be able to let everything go and fly in the air, if only for a little bit. He is in awe of Eiji. In want of him.

*Gif credit: https://mobpsycho100.tumblr.com/post/175820001579?ref=weheartit*

Eiji is kind. And like Sing has stated, he finds a way to reach out to the lost people and leave some sort of imprint. Some sort of connection with them, albeit, unknowingly. But Ash is someone who needed someone like that to enter his life. Someone who could show him that there was an out, and if he wanted to take it, he could, somehow.

The beauty of seeing Eiji slowly help Ash out of the rut he's gotten himself in is something I was (and still am,) happy to have had the pleasure of seeing. It's Eiji Ash turns to whenever something happens. It's Eiji Ash immediatley thinks of when there’s trouble. And it's also Ash that Eiji is constantly thinking about. It's Ash Eiji wants everything to change for. He wishes constantly that things were different.

The relationship they have is this: equal. Sure, you could argue that it's not, considering the power Ash holds with the flick of his finger. But that power is never demonstrated on Eiji. The love and comfort they each have for each other is mirrored. I’ve never felt as if one loved each other less or more than the other.

One very important thing I want to talk about (this was a popular discussion among some fans when the anime was finishing it's course,) is that a loving relationship does not need to be sexual for it to be considered that; a relationship.

Sure, a common thing when people think of relationships is that. Kissing and sex. It's almost as though they need to be part of one for that relationship to be valid.

But you would have to be blind, or seriously stupid, to not be able to see the love Ash and Eiji have for each other. With their touches and the way they so clearly care for each other. It just confuses me so much how people could ever look at them and not think they were, in some aspect, romantically interested/with one another.

I just think it's really amazing to see something like that displayed so casually. There’s never any questioning among them. Never a moment when either expressed or wanted things to escalate and I think that’s so touching.

I will know discuss the ending, with a lot of aspects from my old post, but now with (hopefully) more concise thoughts.

The ending is this: heartbreaking.

Although I don't think I've seen a lot of this in the fandom, I know a common argument for why endings like Banana Fish shouldn't even be endings is that it shows there is no recovery from the life Ash has been through, and I disagree.

(This is not to say you can't have that conception.)

The ending is still confusing to me. No matter how many times I've tried to exam it. No matter how many times I've tried to argue with myself that, this is what it meant, I'm sure. I still can't come up with a clear answer that I enjoy.

There are so many questions: Why didn't Ash seek medical help? He would have known that those wounds weren't fatal. Why did he chose to let himself die? Was it because he couldn't bring himself to do this anymore? Was it because of an underlying guilt he felt for tying Eiji to himself?

One of the answers I often contemplate is this: Ash was tired. I think he really thought there wasn’t an easy, a foreseeable, out that would leave Eiji and him safe. That the offer Eiji gave him to come to Japan just wasn’t plausible. I think he really was just done.

I also think that when Ash read Eijis letter (that beautiful letter that still makes my chest tight,) he felt at peace. After reading, my soul is always with you (I’m literally having trouble typing this,) I think he knew that that was true. That wherever Ash went, Eiji would follow somehow. Eiji would somehow be tied to him.

I think in that moment, with it pretty much spelt out for him, Ash knew he was loved. And he thought that that love was enough. And that he could die, with the smile on his face, knowing this.

Lastly, although this will be very brief, I want to talk about Garden of Light. And how sad it really makes me that Eijin really did stick to those words: my soul is always with you.

Eiji has grown up, it has been nine years, his hair is longer, and still yet, he is back in New York and is still consumed by the thought of Ash.

It brings me immense amounts of pain to see Eiji still so stuck on Ash. Still not able to really accept what has happened. I even think him growing his hair out was a part of that.

Let’s compare it to Yut Lung, who grew his hair out in an attempt to stay close to his past. In an attempt to still be tied to his mother, the only person he was able (beside Blanca and Sing, who didn’t come until many years later,) to find solace in. But who left him.

Now with Eiji, the similarity here is this: Eiji was tied to Ash so strongly. They were incredibly important to each other (obviously,) Similar to how deeply Yut Lung and his mother were important to each other. (Although in different contexts.) But, I think he grew his hair out as an attempt to distance himself from Ash. To distance himself from that pain.

At the end of volume 19, Eiji finally played those photos from so long ago. He was finally able to find some way to accept what happened. Even if only a little bit. And this fills me with such intense emotion. To finally see Eiji cry because things can’t change. I’ll never come back from that.

I don’t think Banana Fish will ever be far from me. It’s been two years and I still think about it with such intense fondness and sadness. This was a series that greatly impacted me, and for that I am grateful.

#banana fish #bananafish #asheiji #ash lynx #eiji okumura #yut lung lee #lee yut lung #ash and eiji #eiji and ash #sing soo ling #studio mappa #garden of light #I think i'll go cry now #ash lynx x eiji okumura #I love them way too much #I really want that last photo as a tattoo #banana fish anime #banana fish manga

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silentfcknhill · 4 years

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FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions:

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer and anyone else who wants to!

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lochsides · 3 years

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Yellow Metal - cathartic Review

Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.

I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.

I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.

I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.

“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.

“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.

“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.

“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.

“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.

“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.

“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.

“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.

“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.

“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.

“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!

“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.

“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.

“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.

“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.

“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.

“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.

“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.

“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.

“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.

“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!

“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.

“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.

“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.

#reviews #zayn #yellow metal #cathartic #zayn malik

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monkey-network · 4 years

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Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

#Klaus #Klaus movie #klaus netflix #Klaus 2019 #movies #art #animation #Christmas #holidays #xmas #analysis #long post #reviews #Good Stuff

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carmenxjulia · 3 years

Photo

I put together a transcript of the 1 hour Q&A Interview the Carmen Sandiego Discord did with Abby Trott (Ivy) and Rafael Petardi (Chase Devineaux). All of the questions were submitted by server members. You can read everything below the break!

PizzaHorse:

Hello everyone! Please welcome Abby Trott and Rafael Petardi to our Q&A today.

Abby Trott:

Hiiiiiiiiiii!

Rafael Petardi:

Hello Bonjour!

PizzaHorse:

Let's get started. How did you get started as a voice actor? Was there anything that inspired you to pursue it as a career?

Abby Trott:

Oh MAN. Long story.

Rafael Petardi:

Mine is very short. I'm an actor and my agent started sending me on voice auditions and eventually I booked some!

Abby Trott:

This is a novel so I started typing it ahead of time, haha. I was an acting/theater major, and when I graduated from college I moved to Japan on the JET program to teach English because I wanted to travel so freakin' badly. I had never even been on an airplane. I was placed in rural Akita, (inaka), and absolutely LOVED it. The only problem was I wanted to be and actor/singer… womp womp. At that time, I also started to mess around with characters and voices - I would record voice memos and conversations with myself while driving around. One day, a friend was in the car and my phone was on shuffle and one of my "scenes" started playing - I was absolutely MORTIFIED. But that moment solidified for me that I need to move to the big ole city if I wanted to really pursue acting. I ended up heading to Tokyo, where I performed in children's musicals, and did other gigs here and there. That's where I started doing VO professionally! I was able to do some character voices for the shows I was in, and some other side projects. I realized how much I loved VO, and eventually decided to move back to the States to pursue it, since most English VO for games and animation is produced here.

When I moved back, I started searching online for VoiceOver opportunities, and stumbled across a contest hosted by Bang Zoom! Entertainment. I BARELY got my entry in on time. The contest took place over several months, and in the meantime, I moved to NYC and started taking VO classes. For the finale of the contest, they flew me to LA. I ended up winning! Still can't believe it. (O-O) I got to dub my first anime "Miss Monochrome," and realized that if I wanted to work in games and animation, I should probably move to LA… and the I DID.

THE END

PizzaHorse:

What do you think are the best and worst things about being a voice actor?

Abby Trott:

Oooh. The worst things? Job insecurity... constant rejection...

Rafael Petardi:

The incredibly talented and cool people you meet and work with.

What Abby said

Abby Trott:

The best things? Working with amazing people, AND it's so much fun - even auditioning is fun!

PizzaHorse:

How did you land your role on the show?

Rafael Petardi:

I auditioned

Got the job

pretty boring I know

Abby Trott:

I auditioned through my agency, and got a callback. I went to the callback and their note was "more Boston." Then I had a second callback and their note was "even MORE Boston." So I went WICKED BOSTON and got the job

PizzaHorse:

What was your favorite/the most fun thing to record (episode/scene/line)? Any least favorites?

Rafael Petardi:

For me, the funnest scenes to record are the ones I got to play opposte the incredibly talented cast.

The least favorite... did not have enough scenes with the Wonderful Abby Trott

Abby Trott:

Awww Rafe! Singing was the MOST FUN! The Karaoke Ep, and the choose-your-own adventure one, where we got to sing the theme! Mikey (Zack) was cracking me up constantly.

Least favorite was the last ep because I didn't want it to eeeeeend

PizzaHorse:

Were you allowed to suggest lines to be said by your character, or improvise the script at all if you thought something would add to the scene?

Abby Trott:

YUP! And Mikey and I definitely did, hahaa. It was encouraged. Always fun to see what they keep...

Rafael Petardi:

Yes we were. I improvised mostly sounds and noises. Words once in a while but not very often. Thank God for Duane

PizzaHorse:

What was the hardest part of voicing your character on Carmen Sandiego? Was there a particular episode that was difficult to record?

Rafael Petardi:

Keeping the consistency episode to episode of the Chase's accent, pitch and energy

I did not want hime to sound different ever

Abby Trott:

I think the hardest part was keeping up the EXTREME Boston accent. But it was also SUPER fun...

PizzaHorse:

What traits do you share or have in common with the character you play?

Rafael Petardi:

I am like Chase in the sense of a Dog with a Bone. If I get pasionate about something, I go to extremes. Abby Trott has scene this for example in my bread making endeavors

Also, I'm an idiot in life too sometimes

Abby Trott:

Ivy and I are both... from Mass! we both have brothers who we argue with but really do love when it comes down to it. We love chocolate, aaaaand... I think we're both brave. (brag?)

Can confirm Rafe is v. passionate about bread. And and idiot.

Rafael Petardi:

All True

PizzaHorse:

What character on the show would you voice if you had the chance?

Abby Trott:

Chase

Rafael Petardi:

I would love Maelstrom

Abby Trott:

Jk... Coach Brunt seems SUPER fun

PizzaHorse:

If you could meet a character from Carmen Sandiego in real life, who would it be and why?

Abby Trott:

Carmen! she is the coooooleeest. I'd ask her to teach me some tricks

Rafael Petardi:

Julie Argent. She's cute

PizzaHorse:

Which character do you think you are most like or that you most identify with?

Rafael Petardi:

CHASE

I think that's partly why we're doing the roles we do

Abby Trott:

I think Ivy, for real! Casting was ON IT. I can be serious when I need to be, but I'm a giant goofball (if you couldn't tell from my latest tweet/insta post...)

PizzaHorse:

Who is your favorite character, other than your own?

Abby Trott:

Mime. Bomb.

Rafael Petardi:

Other than my own? Hmmm... uuuh... mmmm. tough...

Abby Trott:

Seriously, I think Mime bomb is hilarious.

Rafael Petardi:

Yes Mime Bomb!

PizzaHorse:

Do you wish your character had more interactions with another character in particular?

Rafael Petardi:

Yes, I would love to interact with Ivy and Maelstrom

I think the interaction would be odd and awkward and funny

Abby Trott:

Yes. I would love to see how Ivy handles the specific VILE members... I would love to see IVY try to go to VILE academy...

PizzaHorse:

Are there any themes or lessons from the series that you would want people to remember?

Rafael Petardi:

yes, don't jump to conclusions and be an idiot

Abby Trott:

Yes! That! also, don't be evil. ALSO also, be loyal to your friends.

PizzaHorse:

Do you ever look at fan content?

Rafael Petardi:

yes all the time. It helps when I'm tagged rafaelPetardi on Instagram

Abby Trott:

Yes! I look at fanart sometimes, and see what cosplays are happenin'

Rafael Petardi:

I've posted many as well

Abby Trott:

Haven't read much fanfic... but I know it's out there.

PizzaHorse:

What did you think about your character's development and arc throughout the series?

Rafael Petardi:

I absolutely loooooooved Chase's arc

Love redemption stuff

he was just misguided

just was alway his thing

Abby Trott:

I love Ivy's journey - she really grew up, from a troubled kid to an adult, accepting responsibility and accepting new challenges. Donning the hat, if you will.

Rafael Petardi:

*justice as always his thing

PizzaHorse:

How do you feel now that Carmen Sandiego is at its end?

Rafael Petardi:

sad. miss evrybody so much

we will have to have a cast reunion when this pandemic thing is over

Abby Trott:

SAD! But grateful. It was THE MOST fun to record, and I wish it could continue forever.

Rafael Petardi:

I'm grateful too. yes

Abby Trott:

and YES reunion!

PizzaHorse:

Yesss can't wait for that group photo to pop up on social media!

Were there any moments in the series that had you legitimately emotional?

Rafael Petardi:

yes ofcourse

losing Julia was tough

Abby Trott:

A lot. But one that stands out for me is after Carmen gets stuck out in the snow, and is reunited with her crew. (:_;). Also the stuff with Shadowsan and his brother... and anything with baby Carmen...

Gah. So many...

PizzaHorse:

Did you enjoy how the show ended? Is there anything you would have changed or would have liked to see more of?

Rafael Petardi:

I loved the way the show ended! I think Duane did a fantastic job tying loose ends and bring the story to a satisfactory close for all characters

I do hope for an ACME Ivy, Zak, Julia and Chase spin-off

Abby Trott:

I love how it ends. I think it wrapped so well considering the number of eps - the writers really got it done. I WISH Ivy and Zack could follow Carmen forever, but she has her own story to unravel it would seem.

And Ivy does look good in that suit let me tell ya

PizzaHorse:

Can you share a favorite behind the scenes moment?

Abby Trott:

Mikey. Is. So. Funny. Hard to choose one moment - he would make me laugh harder than anything. Especially when we were singing. Or any time he had to gag...

Rafael Petardi:

OMG!

That singing stuff we had to do together was hilarious

we could not stop laughinh

PizzaHorse:

What, in your opinion, are the best pizza toppings?

Abby Trott:

Cheese. Caramelized onions. Roasted garlic. Spinach. Mushrooms.

Rafael Petardi:

buffala mozzarella and tomatos period

oooooo fancy Abby

Abby Trott:

Rafe why aren't you as obsessed with pizza as you are with bread? And can you be?

Rafael Petardi:

I am

Abby Trott:

Rafael Petardi:

I just don;t like to share pizza

PizzaHorse:

Here's a specific question for Rafael. Did you sometimes get mad at your own character for the way he behaved towards Julia earlier on in the Series?

And one for Abby. As a Massachusetts native, how did you feel about voicing a character from Boston with the iconic accent?

Rafael Petardi:

I did not. I always felt, however misguided Chase was, he was always on the path of turth and justice no matter what was in his way. It's the same principals that led hin to see the truth about Julia

*principles

Abby Trott:

I think it's so cool, and kind of an honor, in a way. I was worried about it being too much, and people saying it's over the top. Turns out comedy wins, haha.

PizzaHorse:

Were you familiar with the older animated series when you started work on the Netflix original?

Rafael Petardi:

I never heard of Carmen Sandiego before I did this series

Abby Trott:

Yes! I had seen a bit. I also remember watching my brother play the game. Someone gifted me a mini arcade version of the game this year, and I'm excited to play :slight_smile:

Rafael Petardi:

Which I think helped when I had to say the iconic line

"Where in th world..." there was no pressure

LoL

Abby Trott:

LOL

PizzaHorse:

Okay, last question. Do you have a favorite quote from the show?

Abby Trott:

"La Femme Rouge!"

or Mime Bomb's classic "..."

Rafael Petardi:

"the game is over!"

PizzaHorse:

Woohoo!

Abby Trott:

Hooray!

PizzaHorse:

Thank you so much Rafael Petardi and Abby Trott for joining us today! I hope everybody had a wicked awesome time.

Abby Trott:

Thanks for having us! What a pleasure.

Rafael Petardi:

It was great! Thank you to all the great questions.

Abby Trott:

Thanks for watching the show! Great questions. I'm sure I'm going to think of more quotes as soon as I log off... haha.

Rafael Petardi:

See you all soon!

Abby Trott:

Stay safe, take care, and see you all on various social media platforms!

#Carmen Sandiego #Ivy #Chase Devineaux #CS Crew #Rafael Petardi #Abby Trott #Carmen Sandiego Discord #Carmen Sandiego Discord Server #Interview #Transcript

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mikaze-discord · 3 years

Text

Love letter project ♡

Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!

The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys.

Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out.

CLASS A

OTOYA ITTOKI

From @ponzu-penzui:

Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!

Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.

Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.

After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.

But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.

Next one from; Anon

As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.

The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.

MASATO HIJIRIKAWA

From Anon:

Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.

Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.

Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.

NATSUKI SHINOMIYA

From uh....me:

HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.

When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.

Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.

I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.

From Luke:

Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.

The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.

#utapri #utanoprincesama #uta no prince sama #Natsuki Shinomiya #Shinomiya Natsuki #Masato Hijirikawa #hijirikawa masato #otoya ittoki #ittoki otoya

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paperbagpetrichor · 4 years

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Somewhere an article read that if Dio survived long enough to know about Giorno he would have killed his mother and step father and taken Gio in, may I please get a small scenario where Dio takes Gio home and a Gio is terrified Dio’s wife won’t like him but she (kind bubbly caring and motherly) immediately throws her arms open and cries “MY BABY BOY!” And won’t stop kissing his face and steals her attention away from Dio whom becomes a pouty baby please and thank you sweetheart!

[ Oh my god please little Gio. Little Gio and reader as Dio’s wife? Little Gio with a better childhood? That is all. Yes please. ]

Giorno Giovanna did not - or perhaps he could not - remember much of his early life. The farthest back his mind could reach was to a dark, rainy evening, one where thunder had rumbled so loud it shook the ground as though an earthquake and lightning struck the ground in dizzying patches of heat, bolting down throughout all of Italy as the winds of the Mediterranean pushed the storm onwards, deeper into the country, growing a mile a minute. He’d been trying to sleep. With his favorite plush animal, he’d pulled the covers up over his head, trying his hardest not to let the rash sounds overwhelm him but trembling nonetheless, eyes wide open, seeing nothing but black save for the occasional illumination that sparked from the clouds. Nobody had come to him. Not his stepfather, nor even his own mother. As for his real father...well, he’d never met the man. At least, not until that night, when, as the storm picked up, violently thrashing rain against the windows with such strength it was a wonder they didn’t shatter to pieces, an unfamiliar voice had resounded softly within his ear.

“You’re alright now, Giorno.” It was deep, commanding, but with a strange twinge of care just barely noticeable. As he was still under the covers, now completely and absolutely terrified, clutching at the fabric with desperate hands and wishing he was anywhere else but there, all he could tell was that the man had moved to his bedside by the sound of increasing footfalls. “Nothing will hurt you. Not while I, your father, am here.”

And thus began his new life. His mother and father had gotten lost from work on the way home that night, but Dio - Giorno’s father - had finally returned. Now he resided with his father in a spacious, expensive home, straight in the middle of a prosperous portion of Naples. Through their years together, Giorno had learned that his father had been a wealthy lawyer in both England and Japan. The profession still provided for him now, albeit Giorno rarely ever heard his father talk about his work. The boy couldn’t ever catch a glimpse of the cases Dio was supposed to be arguing on the television. But he had learned quickly that although his father did love him, he was even more strict, sometimes seeming domineering or occasionally outright mean with scolding, should his son find himself in places he wasn’t supposed to venture, or performing activities deemed punishable. Giorno loved Dio. But he would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss his mother. So, when one day, his father began speaking of a woman and her captivating beauty, he naturally grew curious. He asked, over and over, what the woman was like, how his father had met her, how she looked, what she liked, how well the two of them knew one another. Over time the questions became more and more incessant, with each query resulting in nothing but commands or reprimands from his father. But equally over time Dio was home less and less. Sometimes, he would be gone for hours, or a day. Often he would vanish at night, while Giorno was asleep, but often strayed well into the afternoon. Giorno grew worried. What if another storm happened, like the one that had caught his first family, and his father was lost, too? Who would take care of him then? This fear only tripled as days turned to weeks. But finally, upon asking one day, gathering up the courage for a scolding, after managing to catch his father, he had asked where the man was going.

Something about Dio’s nature appeared to have changed, or at least been altered to some degree. Giorno had always known his father as a logical and focused man, but as of late he had begun to forget things, or seemingly get lost in his own thoughts. All that Dio replied with was a dismissive, “Go back inside,” before his voice softened and something like - was that a smile? - formed on his lips. “I’ve a present for you tomorrow. Don’t make me postpone it.”

The next day, the two of them spent all cloudy afternoon and evening going shopping. Giorno felt it was a rather odd present, but nevertheless enjoyed the times where he’d point out something he liked and his father would purchase it for him. Perhaps these were the gifts? He was content with the idea that they were as the both of them made their way back to the car, especially as his father let him ride shotgun, but shortly after the car was in action this idea was debunked.

“[Y/n] is waiting for us at home. She really wanted to meet you today, Giorno. After all, she is your new mother.”

Giorno’s eyes flew open in shock. [Y/n]? As in, [y/n] [l/n], the woman that his father had always talked about? That [y/n]? A-and wait, did he just say she was his new mom? Despite how hard he bit it back, the question escaped him. “My - my mom?”

Dio nodded, eyes never leaving the road. “She only found out about you yesterday, but she said she couldn’t go any longer without meeting you.”

“Go any longer with what?”

“Oh, I mustn’t have told you. [Y/n] and I are engaged, Giorno.” He paused for a minute as he saw his son’s jaw drop from the corner of his eye, theorizing the dynamic his beloved son would have with his beloved [y/n]. You’d always been very caring, a kind and intelligent woman who kept herself well put-together, sensible and levelheaded, but the way that your eyes had grown wide as moons albeit far more beautiful, the gasp of surprise escaping your wide-opened mouth, staring in shock at him, breathless for a moment before you’d thrown your arms around him, the greatest smile Dio had ever seen emerging on your face, voice stuck somewhere between absolute surprise and absolute joy, barely able to speak as you begged your heart out to meet the young boy that Dio had just now informed was his son. In every sense, you were completely overwhelmed. You would have a little boy running around the house now. It wasn’t just you and Dio destined to live as a couple, but you, Dio, and Giorno, a true family, undoubtedly inseparably. In truth Dio hadn’t told you much about his son beyond his name and bits and pieces of his personality. But now, waiting patiently at your fiancé's house, you nervously touched up your makeup, eyes darting between your face and the door, a smile on your face and a lightness in your chest. Your heart was racing like never before.

So was Giorno’s. He wasn’t sure if he was afraid or excited, fearful or grateful, anticipating or anxious. You’d always sounded so nice whenever his father had spoken of you. But Giorno had never met you. He wasn’t proper or well-mannered like his father, nor was he as quiet or interested in reading. In truth he and his father didn’t have all too much in common. And even then, even if the two of them were similar, would you like him then? Maybe he would take up all of your time. He would be a burden to you, getting in the way of everything, nothing but extra baggage in a previously perfect love, only eliciting every possible negative emotion from within your soul? There wasn’t any way he could conceive it going positively. He could hardly control himself under normal circumstances, but he knew he’d have much less a tighter grip on his childish behavior or energy when meeting you. You would hate him. He knew it. He would ruin your love for his father. He would -

“Go inside.” Dio’s voice broke him into the clear from his thick, foggy thoughts. Somehow Giorno found himself at the entrance to his house - right in front of the door you were behind - his father motioning to the unlocked door. If he said something to his dad now, he would worsen everything, not just for you but for his dad, too. And again that fearful thought crept up again. If you were gone, and his father was gone, then who would be there for him?

He found himself being practically shoved through the doorway, a strong hand against his back as the two of them entered, only for Giorno to have perhaps a moment to center himself before losing his balance and sight in an instant, slender arms enveloping him.

He was adorable! You understood Dio’s fear of keeping him from you - not all women were open to single fathers, but, of course, you weren’t one of them - but couldn’t believe the thought that he’d been hiding such a cute little treasure from you. As you set him down from your spinning hug, you kneeled down to him, taking him in for the first time wholly, as he did the exact same to you.

You - you didn’t hate him? You hadn’t screamed, or ran? You had...that was, you’d...he’d gotten a hug from you? As he regained his balance he found a pretty young woman smiling gleefully, kneeling down to his level and looking you over from head to toe, joy only blooming more and more on your face as you examined his features. You had the cutest smile he’d ever seen, and as he returned one of his own, still in a stupor, you easily said the same for him. Look at the way his perfect cheeks budged up as he grinned, eyelashes fanning the frame of his stunning green eyes, small little nose looking oh-so-boopable you could hardly contain your squee, completely and totally oblivious to your soon-to-be-husband, who stood in the doorway, mouth twitching into something like a frown of jealousy.

You relapsed into hugging Giorno, who, this time, returned your embrace, and as you felt his little arms around your back, you cried, “My baby boy! Oh, look at you, angel!” Feeling him laugh lightly against you, you began to barrage his small forehead with kisses, eyes welling with tears that threatened to spill over. He was precious. So, so, so incredibly precious, and by god, you were so blessed to have him and Dio in your life. Oh, how could he have hidden Giorno from you?! “I love you so much, Giorno.”

“I - I love you too, Miss [y/n] - mom!” And he did. You radiated warmth and comfort, and gave the best hugs he’d ever received, and were way more pretty than his dad, and smiled way more often, and rained affection down upon him. A giant grin emerged on his face. “I’ll be good, I promise!”

A tear escaped you. “Oh, Giorno...thank you…” you trailed off after wiping the wetness from your eyes, only to cast a glance up and find Dio, practically pouting, skulking in the corner, like a big baby in time-out, and you laughed, orienting your son so he could see his father. “...But save some love for your dad, too!” You leaned in close, face just besides Giorno’s, before continuing in a whisper, “He won’t ever say it, but I think he’s jealous of us.”

Giorno giggled. He loved you already, absolutely, completely and totally, and called out, “Dad! Come get a hug from mom! She gives the best hugs!”

And as Dio made his way into the picture, lifting his young son upon his arms and settling him atop his shoulder, taller than he could ever dream of, now up in the air of the adults, smiling just like you, the three of you were positive that nothing better existed than being there, together, by each other’s side - a family.

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jenomark · 4 years

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Yo! You write some good shit 👌🔥👿 Here's something for you to write about- NCT127 and WayV (since its gonna be asked 😀) first time sharing a bed with S/O? Can be fluff or smut galore. Who is the romantic, who is shy and nervous, who likes to play footsie, who hogs blanket and kicks in sleep and later apologizes 🤔 go nuts

Taeil: You kissed just below Taeil’s bellybutton. Instinctively, his body shuddered from the moistness of your lips. It was the first time you had kissed him there, the first time in his bedroom, and the first time you were taking that step. Taeil watched you quietly, the sound of his breathing sticky and wet. His cock seemed to wake up the closer you got to it, twitching against his thigh. You ran your tongue over his silky skin, your eyes watching him watching you. You popped him in your mouth like it was the most delicious treat. You realized how comfortable you felt with him at this place in your relationship, your body resting between his thighs, his cock warm against the flat of your tongue.

Johnny: He peeled your blankets back from your bed. It was different having him in your personal space, his scent on everything. “You look happy.” he said. You pulled your side back just big enough for you to climb into. Being domestic with him made you feel romantic. You wanted to jump across the bed and maul him, but it was much sweeter being with him like this. Both of you climbed into your bed. You laid on your backs, chins pointed towards the ceiling, bodies straight and still. Johnny tugged your blanket upwards. When he did, his feet and ankles were sticking out of the bottom. You laughed at the absurdity of it. You finally got him into your bed and he was too big for your covers, but never too big for your heart.

Taeyong: In the dark, you could feel his eagerness touching you. Though physically worlds apart, you knew how badly Taeyong wanted to reach over and feel your walls slide down around him. He was shy. You had to take your time. You could only see his eyeballs in the blackness. Besides the humming of his heater, the room was silent. Underneath the covers, you reached over and placed your hand over top the waistband of his shorts. You didn’t give Taeyong time to breathe, to wonder what came next. You slid your fingers underneath his shorts and rubbed your hand over his stubble and down to the smoothness of his cock. He had shaved in anticipation of something happening. You stroked him until he grew hard, which didn’t take long at all. In the quiet, you jerked him off. You enjoyed the way he thrashed in his sheets, his hips rotating upwards so that his cock would grate against your palm.

Yuta: He made himself at home. Yuta jumped on your bed and stretched his body across it, his limbs hitting each corner. The look on his face was one of pure joy. He was half smiling, half laughing, and his upbeat mood was contagious. “Come with me.” he said, patting the spaces next to him. You climbed onto the bed and laid down beside him, your head resting in the crook of his arm. You were both silent for awhile. You thought about how lucky you felt getting to fall in love with a man so kind-hearted. You could feel the soft touches of sleep pulling you under. Yuta shifted your body until he could get up from his spot. Sleepily, you clutched at his clothes. “Lets sleep.” he whispered. Yuta pulled back the covers, moved you into position and wrapped you up like a burrito. He laid beside you, his arms around you.

Kun: You didn’t think Kun had it in him. He was on you before you could fully lay down, his hands unbuttoning your silky pajama shirt. “Fuck, “ he said. “I want you.” He took your hand and placed it against his erection to show you just how much he wanted you. You began to rub him through his pants, but Kun forced your hands away. It was clear he wanted the night to be about you. His mouth was all over your skin. He didn’t wait before diving into your pussy, his mouth making out with your folds like it was going to give him a kiss back. You lifted your butt off of the bed, but he pinned you back down again. “I don’t think so.” he whispered. He kissed your inner thigh before moving back to your pussy, his tongue parting you open.

Doyoung: “This is my room.” Doyoung said. He was nervous. He kept moving things around to make sure it was clean enough. You lingered in the doorway a little too long, your eyes sweeping over his various plants and minimalist belongings. Doyoung excitedly rushed you inside, his hands moving in circles to gesture you forward. “What do you think?” he asked. You walked inside and shut the door behind you. “I like it.” you answered. You went to his bed and sat on the edge of it. You felt cozy. You gave him a warm smile to calm his nerves. You grabbed his hand and pulled him down onto his bed. You pushed him back and placed your head on his chest. His heart was beating so fast. “Lets lay here for awhile,” you said. “Just me and you.”

Ten: It was unplanned. One moment, you were tucked neatly into all of Ten’s spaces, your bodies ready to fall sleep. The next moment, he had kissed you. It was innocent, at first, but then you tasted his tongue. Your bodies melted together as one, rolling and rolling until you were on top, rubbing against his hard cock and desperately wanting him inside of you. “Sweetheart.” he said, his voice coming out in a murmur. You looked down at him, his body situated nicely between your thighs. All he had to do was say one word to you and you were like putty in his hands. You lifted your bottom off of him, took his cock in your hand and guided him inside of you. Sinking down onto his cock felt like bliss.

Jaehyun: There was a large gap between your body and his. Normally confident, Jaehyun psyched himself out. It was the very first time you were sharing his bed, and he placed a lot of high expectations on himself. You looked over at him, his hair fanned out across the pillow, a hesitant smile on his face, and you fell a little deeper in love. He was doing so great. You wanted to tell him, but you didn’t want to make him feel like he had something to worry about. You inched closer to him and took hold of his hand. “This is nice,” you said. “I like being here with you.” Jaehyun chuckled lightly. He put his arm around you and pulled you in a little closer. “I feel the same.” he said.

WinWin: You were both naked, your bodies stuck together like glue. It was so hot in the room that you could feel your own sweat dripping down your thighs. On your side, you let WinWin’s strong arms hold you tight. He was the bigger spoon, his large body enveloping yours. His cock moved a few inches inside of you, slowly. The sounds of his moans were in your ear, his cute little breaths making you want him more. WinWin bit down on your shoulder as he thrusted deeper. Taking his time made the night feel more colorful. You leaned your head against him and brought your leg back a little so that he could move more freely. “Fuck me,” you whispered. “And don’t stop.”

Jungwoo: You woke up in his bed, and he was facing the other way, his body twisted up like a pretzel. Jungwoo’s feet were in your face, and his arms were tightly wound around your legs. You had not fallen asleep that way. He had been a little afraid to hold you at night, but, surprisingly, Jungwoo had worked up the courage to make the move. You had never fallen asleep so easily before. His embrace was warm and comfortable, the little puffs of air from his mouth blowing onto your skin had lulled you to sleep. You leaned up as best as you could and looked down at his sleeping face. His mouth was open, his face twitching in his sleep. Jungwoo looked so pretty that you didn’t want to disturb him.

Lucas: You blindfolded Lucas. He was wary in the beginning, his dopey smile so charming and clueless. “We’re in your home,” you said. “This is your bed. Nothing will touch you but me.” Lucas had relaxed, even went so far as to say being blindfolded was a turn on. You started off by kissing his lips, his throat, his broad chest. “Wow.” Lucas breathed. You took one of his nipples in your mouth and rolled the bud around with your tongue. You bit down on it before giving it a wet lick to cool the sting. You kissed your way down his abs. When you reached his sides, you realized he was ticklish. “Hey!” he said, squirming away from you. You placed your lips softly on his pelvis. The kisses were feather light and meant as a tease. Lucas’ cock was animated, moving with the hope that you would soon take him into your mouth.

Mark: “You can’t make fun of me. No laughing. Alright? Say ‘Alright’,” Mark said. You hid the pillow in front of your face. You knew you were going to laugh. Mark leaned halfway in the doorway, his lower half hidden by the wall. He jumped up and down excitedly. “Alright?” he said once more. You lowered the pillow and bit down on your lip to keep from exploding. “Okay,” you said. “ I won’t make fun of you.” Feeling convinced, Mark came out from his hiding spot. On the top part of his body, he was wearing a plain white t-shirt to bed. When you saw him in full view, you saw that he was wearing pajama pants with little sleeping kittens all over them. Your mouth twisted into a smile. “You said you wouldn’t laugh!” he said. He came over and jumped onto the bed, his hands grabbing yours to pin them against the bed.

Xiaojun: “Your bed is nice.” you told him. Xiaojun laid back down on the pillow, a devilish smile on the corner of his lips. You were joking, but you were also kind of telling the truth. As you worked your way up the mattress trying to get to his face, Xiaojun’s bed barely squeaked. It was steady, just like you were when you rocked yourself back and forth over his cock. Impatiently, Xiaojun grabbed your thighs and eased you the rest of the way. Your pussy hovered over his face. Since it had taken a pounding by him, you weren’t sure how pretty it looked up close. Xiaojun tasted you, his face buried in your depths. “Not as nice as you,” he said. “ You taste good, baby.”

Hendery: “I should let you know that I talk in my sleep,” Hendery began. “And I kick. And sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and eat food. Sometimes, I eat that food in bed.” He paused, his eyes searching yours. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. You were already in his bed and tucked away. “Is that going to be a problem?” he asked. “Oh, and sometimes- but not always- I get up in the middle of the night and howl at the moon.” Hendery’s face broke out into a big teasing smile. You threw a pillow at him and watched his body sink down into the mattress. He wormed his way towards you and rested his head against your stomach. “I just wanted to see if you liked me enough to stay.” he whispered.

Haechan: “I don’t want to play games.” he said. His eyebrow was raised, his heart-shaped lips parted slightly. All of your thoughts emptied from your head. It was you and him, nothing else between you. You sunk down into his lap, held his face and kissed his lips. You were swollen with arousal. Haechan picked you up and laid you across his bed. His blankets smelled like expensive cologne and the smell of man. You rolled in them like a cat until he pulled you back by your legs and settled his body on top of yours. You could feel his erection pressing against your thigh. “I like this better.” you said. You took a peek inside of his shirt, leaned up to kiss him and bit down on his bottom lip.

YangYang: You looked up and down at his bunk bed. Up until then, YangYang had never felt embarrassment before. “I know it’s not much,” he said. “Maybe we should sleep on the couch?” He called the top bunk home. The walls were papered with old sentimental photographs. By his tall bedside drawers, YangYang kept various dishes that needed to be taken to the kitchen. The room itself had a lingering smell of feet. “No,” you said, “It’s okay. I like it.” YangYang smiled brightly. “Here,” he said, pointing at the ladder. “I will help you up to the top.” YangYang hoisted you up, his hands pushing your butt upwards. The whole bed shook as you sat down, and your head nearly hit the ceiling. “Are you sure? We can go.” he asked, bumping his own head on the ceiling. You nodded yes, stroking the lump on the top of his skull that was forming.

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quietepics · 3 years

Text

♡ · 　INTRO.　 * . V / ?.

here comes the boi ! hello boi~ welcome~ there he is , he is here ~ / ie i finally brought a himbo . i’m gonna try and keep this relatively short and sweet since i’m still figuring him out myself , but i hope y’all love my typhon kid , mister jesse garcia as much as i do !

THE BASICS

name: jesse antonio garcia nickname(s): jess, jessie birthday: february 25th , 1996 ethnicity: latino ( colombian - ecuatorian - mexican ) birthplace: new york , usa gender identity: cis male sexuality: pansexual / panromantic powers: beast creation mixtape: hml / sisyfuss , too close / sir chloe , loverboy / a - wall , cariño / the marias , just right / got7 , lo que siento / cuco , i need a hero / bonnie tyler character inspiration: jonathan joestar ( jjba ) , michael kelso ( that 70s show ) , sokka ( atla ) , dick grayson ( dc comics ) , josuke higashikata ( jjba ) , fushiguro megumi ( jujutsu kaisen ) , george ( george of the jungle i am so sorry )

THE MUSE ( bullying , blood tw )

jesse is the only child of clara garcia , a veterenarian based in queens , new york . though their family is small , consisting of both of them and the ocassional phone call from grandparents or other relatives , he never really had a problem with it .

jesse was always a sociable kid , making friends wherever he went and , since his mother was a vet , the boy grew up surrounded by all sorts of pets .

he lived a pretty normal life ; passable grades , good at sports , always willing to land a hand to anyone in need or help an old lady cross the street . he’d even run errands around his neighborhood , hoping to score a buck or two in the process . but things took a turn by the time jesse was in his early teens .

specifically after helping a guy from school who was being bullied by strangers who were much , much bigger than him ; even bigger than jesse himself . still , that didn’t stop him from walking over and standing up for the poor boy --- nor did it stop him from getting his ass kicked .

the fight was pretty bad , eventually leading to the point where jesse could feel himself begin to lose consciensce . whatever happened after that is history , but there’s one thing he remembers to this day : two big dogs , a black one and a white one , rushing from right where he laid on the ground and attacking the bullies , who ran away in fear .

when jesse woke up , he was lying inside an ambulance right where the fight took place , both his mother and the boy he’d saved standing outside and talking to the police . then , he noticed both dogs , the ones he’d barely caught a glimpse of before collapsing , sitting right outside the vehicle , watching him with an all too familiar gaze . he knew they were worried about him , and in return , he was grateful for them saving his life .

it was after that day that jesse learned about his father , typhon , and how the dogs were actually the young man’s very own creations , born from a moment of despair to save his life and his new friend’s .

it wasn’t long after that day that he was scouted to nemean lion by two agents , and though it wasn’t easy to leave his mother behind , jesse listened to her encouragement and moved to nl . they keep in touch regularly ( as he is extremely protective and caring of his mom ) , but there isn’t a day where jesse regrets coming to nl . he sees everything as one big adventure , even the things he doesn’t quite understand --- but hey , at least he’s got his dogs with him , as well as dozens of other pets he’s created over the years !

MISC.

himbo . he is a himbo . he is big and drinks respect women juice daily , and also brings some to his friends . he’s also not very smart but at least he’s cute and has a good heart .

jesse’s dogs are called dara ( female , white fur ) and zoro ( male , black fur ) . he didn’t choose their names , they just came to him as if the dogs had told him so , as if those were their names long before they were created . if he’s walking around campus without much of a plan in mind , just hanging around , you can bet both dogs are with him . they’re very protective of their owner , but also extremely kind and never really start a fight . pls pet them .

he works at the pet shop , and he LOVES his job ! not only does it make him feel closer to his mom even at a distance , but he loves sharing his love of animals with people from and outside of campus . he also makes some of the cutest little creatures you’ll find there !

james is his best friend and together , they are one whole idiot . their friendship literally began after they realized they basically share names with jessie and james from pokemon .

not a vegan , but doesn’t eat red meat at all . he’s not gonna murk you for doing so , but pls don’t take him to a stakehouse or anything like that . he usually avoids other kinds of meat in general , too , but especially red meat . that one is never being eaten .

his favorite things to create are dogs , cats , guinea pigs , wolves , bunnies and small birds . he can also create stuff like the hybrid creatures from atla , such as turtle ducks or koalaotters . he refrains from doing so though , and keeps those particular creatures strictly under his care in fear that someone might hurt them .

HE’S SO SOFT . biggest softie in the whole world , will do anything for his friends , will do anything for anyone at all ! he believes in you ! he’s your #1 fan !

honestly just let me write this boy i am so excited to share him with you all

#nlintro

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ollyarchive · 3 years

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Olly Alexander Is Done With Shame

Like the character he plays in “It’s a Sin,” the actor and singer struggled with being gay. Now, he tells the world everything.

By Anna Leszkiewicz

Feb. 19, 2021Updated 9:22 a.m. ET

LONDON — When Olly Alexander burst into tears shooting a scene of “It’s a Sin,” no one was very surprised.

Making the show, which came to HBO Max on Thursday and follows a group of friends embracing the gay culture of ’80s London under the shadow of AIDS, was emotional for many of the cast and crew — and Alexander is as comfortable showing his vulnerabilities as the character he plays, Ritchie, is at deflecting them.

“I was a complete mess after the first take,” Alexander, 30, said in a recent video interview. “I was sobbing.” Peter Hoar, the director of “It’s a Sin,” paused filming.

The scene in question, which comes after Ritchie and his friends are arrested protesting the British government’s inaction on AIDS, is one of many in the show that explore how the epidemic devastated gay men’s lives.

When we meet Ritchie, he is an impishly confident but naïve 18-year-old who has just moved to London, with dreams of becoming an actor. Alexander also moved to the capital from rural England at 18 and scored his first movie role, but today he is better known as the lead singer of the band Years & Years. “It’s a Sin” is his first acting gig in six years.

Years & Years’s music often explores the relationship between desire and shame, and is heavily influenced by ’80s bands like Pet Shop Boys. (“It’s a Sin” takes its title from that group’s song of the same name.) So when Alexander heard Russell T Davies, the show’s creator, was interested in him for the lead role, the opportunity “made poetic sense,” Alexander said.

In an interview, Davies said the show was “cast gay as gay, which is my policy.” For Ritchie, he added, he wanted an out actor who already had a big profile in Britain. “That almost narrows it down to a field of one,” he said. “It was the simplest audition of my life.”

Alexander’s arch performance as Ritchie suggests that the character’s ambition and bravado are reactions to fear and self-loathing. “I realized straight away, ‘Oh, I know who Ritchie is,’” Alexander said. “He’s trying to get onstage and shine and dazzle: I’ve done that.”

But whereas Ritchie masks his vulnerabilities, Alexander has spoken frankly in interviews and onstage with the band about his experiences of bulimia, anxiety, self-harm and depression.

“I’ve said just everything about myself,” he said. “My life is kind of out there now.”

Alexander grew up in Gloucestershire, in western England, where his mother founded a local music festival. His father, an aspiring musician, worked in amusement parks.

It was a creative household, Alexander said, but his father had mental health problems and substance abuse issues that led to a difficult atmosphere at home. When he was 14, his parents separated; he’d only seen his father a handful of times since, he said.

School was an even more fraught environment, and Alexander experienced homophobic bullying from age 9. “I had long blond hair, and I acted quite feminine,” he said. “That made me a target. And kids can be so cruel.”

As Alexander recalled his younger self, he started to cry. It took many years until he could look back at the child he was with compassion, he said. “But that’s the biggest thing I’ve tried to do,” he added. The impact of his childhood is something he’s still processing in weekly therapy, he said.

When Alexander’s high school classmates went to college, he moved to East London and became a jobbing actor while babysitting and waiting tables. A pale, skinny teenager with a nest of tight curls, he landed roles as the tuberculosis-ridden younger brother of Ben Whishaw’s Keats in the film “Bright Star,” and an anguished drug user in Gaspar Noé’s trippy art movie “Enter the Void.”

Alexander had been living in London for a couple of years when he met his Years & Years bandmates, Mikey Goldsworthy and Emre Türkmen. Though they started out making high-minded, Radiohead-inspired electronic music, Alexander pushed the band toward synth-pop, with big, melodramatic choruses full of longing.

In 2015, the band’s exhilarating but anguished song “King” — about the strange thrill of being treated badly in a relationship — reached No. 1 on the British singles chart, and its debut album, “Communion,” topped the album charts, too.

“His songs are his life,” said the producer Mark Ralph, who has worked with Years & Years from the band’s earliest days “If you want to know what’s gone on in Olly’s life, then you just read all his lyrics.”

“Love takes its toll on me,” Alexander sings in “Sanctify,” a song about a secret liaison with a straight man. “And I won’t, and I won’t, and I won’t be ashamed.”

When the band performed the song at the Glastonbury Festival in 2016, soon after the shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Fla., a rainbow-clad Alexander told the crowd, “I’m here, I’m queer, and, yes, sometimes I’m afraid.” But, he added, “I am never ashamed, because I am proud of who I am.”

The speech caught the interest of TV producers, and, in 2017, he fronted a BBC documentary called “Olly Alexander: Growing Up Gay.” In it, he returns to his family home and leafs through teenage diaries full of references to bulimia and self-harm. On camera, he tells his mother about the bullying at school for the first time: Through tears, they discuss how it led him to mental health problems in his teenage years.

“It’s a lot to ask someone to bare their soul on national television,” said Vicki Cooper, the TV movie’s director. “But those difficult conversations created the best moments in the film.”

That documentary, and Alexander’s openness about his own mental health, mean he gets a lot of messages on social media from fans who are struggling themselves. He used to try to respond to them, he said, but the quantity has become impossible to keep up with.

Through those messages, though, Alexander had “seen a really emotionally vulnerable side to a lot of people,” he said. “That’s a precious thing, actually.”

Alexander had also been humbled by the positive response to “It’s a Sin” in Britain, he said. The show broke records for the streaming service All4, where it aired, with 6.5 million streams.

“It’s a Sin” first appeared on All4 during National H.I.V. Testing Week; on social media, the show’s cast encouraged viewers to get tested. The Terrence Higgins Trust, an H.I.V. nonprofit, said that the number of people taking tests through their service had almost quadrupled in the weeks afterward.

“People living with H.I.V. now can live normal, healthy lives: It’s so important to get that message out,” Alexander said, adding that treatments for the virus had transformed since the ’80s. “I’m really grateful that these conversations are happening, because, honestly, lots of people really didn’t know what was going on in this period of history. They’re shocked to learn about it now.”

That era is also having an influence on Alexander’s music. He is currently recording new material with Years & Years, inspired by the ’80s dance anthems of the “It’s a Sin” soundtrack and beyond: Donna Summer, New Order, Pet Shop Boys.

“During the pandemic, I wanted to listen to super upbeat club music that made me dance around,” he said. “I found myself wanting to create the fantasy and the energy that I haven’t necessarily been experiencing.”

As well as working on new music, Alexander said he had spent the lockdowns in England watching “Real Housewives” episodes, and playing Animal Crossing. “I used to be so, so driven,” he said, but now he was putting less pressure on himself.

He was happy, he added, to think back on what he’d already achieved, and how much has changed since he was a little boy who wished he wasn’t gay.

“I’ve kept a diary since I was 13 years old,” he said. “Sometimes I look at it and think I can tell this kid: ‘You’re going to do amazing things. You’re going to get to where you are now. It’s OK. You got this.’”

Hugo Yangüela contributed additional camera operating for photographs.

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taeken-my-heart · 4 years

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Moirai Chapter 13

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 5651

Chapter notes: This has got some nice bits...but it’s also got some pretty good angst at the end. It will all be OK <3

+++++++++

“So, I was thinking,” Jimin began, leaning against the door frame as you finished your mascara, peering up at his reflection. “There’s this farmers market going on, on 5th and Waller, and I’ve heard really good things about this Greek gyro stand there. Let’s go try some.”

“You hate trying new food.” You frowned, peering over your shoulder at him and he huffed, coming to stand behind you, hands kneading into your shoulders.

“Not all the time,” he whined, “Come on. We both have the evening off, I thought it might be fun to go do this together. Tomorrow is the last night and you work so let’s go now.”

“Fine.” You replied, standing and dusting off your jeans. “But food is on you.”

“Yes ma’am!” He saluted, kissing your cheek and grabbing your hand. “Don’t even bother getting your purse, I’ll take care of everything.”

The market was within walking distance of your apartment so the two of you made your way leisurely towards 5th and Waller, chatting absentmindedly as the early evening breeze swept through your hair.

The evening was pleasant, the sun drooping low on the horizon. The hair at the nape of your neck was warm with perspiration and you tugged at the bottom of your shirt to fan yourself. The market came into view, colorful tented booths lining the street. The first stand caught your eye and you navigated Jimin towards it, arm linked through his.

“Wow, look at this dress! It’s super cute. What do you think?” You held the sunflower yellow up against your body and Jimin looked you up and down, nodding.

“You look like spring vomited all over you.”

“That’s my favorite look.” You hummed, turning to the vender and inquiring after the price. After Jimin had paid (because he’d foolishly insisted that he’d take care of everything) you took the bag you were handed and linked your arm back through his.

“Y/N?” Someone inquired from behind you and both you and Jimin turned around. Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach, eyes landing on the dark mop of hair you’d never imagined you’d see outside of work. Now, of course, you realized that was foolish. You lived in the same city, naturally it was a possibility.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, sharper than you’d meant.

“I live in this neighborhood,” Jungkook said, eyebrow raised at you. He glanced at your arm, thread through the arm of your boyfriend, before turning his gaze toward him. “You must be Jimin.”

“Ah, yes, I see my reputation precedes me. You are?”

“I’m Dr.-”

“Kim!” You said loudly and both Jimin and Jungkook turned to blink owlishly at you. “This is Dr. Kim.”

Jungkook looked back at Jimin, smiling tightly before extending his hand. “Taehyung Kim. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, Taehyung!” Jimin grinned, “Y/N tells me you’re a really gifted pathologist.”

“Ah, she shouldn’t have.” Jungkook crooned, switching his gaze to you and you smiled, tense.

Laughing, you squeezed Jimin’s forearm nervously. “He really is great, but honey, we’ve really gotta get going or we’ll miss the gyros. I’m sure Taehyung has somewhere to be too.”

“Actually, I was heading to the gyro stand myself.” Jungkook smiled, “I’ve heard really good things about the quality of their meat.”

“Well then, please, join us. I would love to hear how Y/N behaves at work.”

You were dying, Jimin dragging you along by his side as the three of you resumed your walk further into the market. “So, remind me what you do for work,” Jungkook said, “I know Y/N has told me before, but I’m afraid I have forgotten.”

“I’m a divorce attorney at Swanson and Heath.”

“Ah, must be a difficult business.”

“No more difficult than being a doctor, I imagine. Though I’m not often faced with life or death.”

Jungkook nodded, dodging a lady yelling at her little boy off to the side of the stands, hair tousled and looking like he’d been rolling in the dirt. “They’re difficult in different ways, that’s for sure. Do you see many soulmates in your office?”

You tried not to squeeze Jimin’s bicep in your stress. You glanced over at Jungkook who looked the picture of curious innocence and tried not to glare.

“I can’t say we see a lot, but we have seen a couple in the five years that I’ve been there. It’s not unheard of, but it is pretty rare.”

“Guess there’s something to be said for the soulmate attachment.” Jungkook said; nonchalant.

Jimin shrugged, your arm raising with the motion. “I guess if you buy into that type of thing.”

Jungkook looked between the two of you, smile quirking at the corner of his lips. “I’m a big believer in soulmates; always have been. I think, like every relationship, it takes some work, but I’m willing to put in the work.”

You frowned, following Jimin around the corner and you could see the gyro stand come into view, line long, but likely worth it.

“Have you met your soulmate yet?” Jimin asked, just as the three of you stepped into the line and stopped. You looked at Jungkook, eyes wide as you tried to communicate to him how brutally you would strangle him if he outed you.

Jungkook smiled sadly, shaking his head. “Ah, life hasn’t given us the opportunity to really connect yet. I’m hopeful for the future.”

“Well I’m rooting for you.”

“I appreciate that.” Jungkook grinned and you just wanted to shrivel up and disappear. If only Jimin knew what he was rooting for.

“So, how’d you hear about this market?” Jimin asked.

“I actually only live about a block away so I’ve been seeing the posters around for the last week and it got me interested. I’m pretty new to the area,” at your sharp, panicked expression, he backtracked, “this neighborhood, I mean, and so I thought it would be a good idea.”

“Ah, did you move recently?”

Jungkook nodded, “into this neighborhood, yeah. It’s been a pretty positive move so far. Much nicer apartment than my last.”

You could see the line Jungkook was toeing, trying not to outright lie about everything and you felt a little bad. You were the one who’d called him by the name of another colleague, but you weren’t ready to tell Jimin yet. You just knew he wouldn’t be happy.

“So, have you been seeing anyone? While you wait for your soulmate?” Jimin asked, cheeks pinched at the thought. He really did hate the idea of soulmates and everything they represented, but he was too nice a guy to mock other people’s dreams and ambitions. At least not to their face.

“No,” Jungkook shook his head, “not really. I dated casually in college but nothing every really stuck and eventually I just realized that I already had someone special that I was willing to work for.” He tapped his wrist, looking up at you and your eyes locked, heart beating anxiously against your rib cage.

In a dark corner somewhere inside you, where you’d locked that same dream away, it leapt eagerly, beating against the doors of its prison. You had wanted that too…maybe you still did.

The line moved forward and you switched your gaze away from the heat of his intensity, watching as a couple walked past you with their recently purchased gyro. Your mouth watered a little.

“So, you’re a romantic?” Jimin asked and before you could stop yourself, you were scoffing.

“Yeah, when he was a kid, he used to think he’d hear a bell when he met his soulmate. It’s from an anime or something.”

Both Jimin and Jungkook looked at you in surprise. “Did you know Taehyung as a kid?” Jimin asked, “I thought you said you met at the hospital.”

Internally kicking yourself, you tried your best to smile. “That’s just something he’s told me before. These kinds of conversations come up sometimes.”

“I guess.” Jimin nodded and you could see Jungkook’s struggle not to laugh.

“Yeah, I was a bit of a nerd as a kid.” He chuckled, “Never really grew out of the romantic side, although I was kind of an idiot for a few years. You know how teenagers are.”

Jimin laughed, nodding. “Yeah, there was a week straight in elementary school where we learned about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and I was convinced that, that was my calling, literally dressed up as a knight every day for a month.”

You burst out laughing, griping his arm tight. “No way! You never told me that.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “not exactly my proudest moment. Didn’t really think that was the story to try and woo you with.”

“Fair enough.” You grinned.

It was your turn in line so you and Jimin both stepped forward, glancing over the menu quickly before making your selections and paying. You stepped off to the side, laying your head against Jimin’s shoulder and waiting for your food to be ready.

Jungkook came to stand beside the two of you once again, striking up conversation with Jimin as you linked your fingers with the later, playing with the knuckles on his hand to distract yourself. This was a very weird situation; to be trapped in the center of a conversation between your boyfriend and you’re your soulmate. You were really grateful that so far Jungkook hadn’t said anything.

After spending the next hour weaving your way through booths and chatting in your small group, Jimin expressed his interest in returning home. Tomorrow was officially the weekend and after a really early morning and long day at the office he was about ready to collapse.

“Well it was really nice to meet you, Jimin.” Jungkook smiled, extending his hand for a handshake.

“Likewise, Taehyung.”

As Jimin and you began to move away from him, you glanced over your shoulder at Jungkook who waved you a small goodbye. “Hold on.” You said softly to Jimin and he stopped with a nod.

You walked over to Jungkook pausing as you scanned his face carefully. “Thank you, Jungkook.” You whispered. “I’m sorry you had to lie; I just haven’t felt ready to tell him yet that…well that you’re back in my life. I promise I’ll tell him later. I just don’t want him to leave me. I love him.”

Jungkook nodded, his face a careful mask over his emotions and you waved softly, backing away. After walking back to Jimin and moving towards home again you glanced back one more time to find Jungkook still standing there, watching as you rounded the corner.

Saturdays were one of your least favorite shifts to work (aside from the full moon because that crap was real) for all the obvious reasons, but also you were typically working 12-hour shifts and today was no different. It was 6 hours in and you were already tired.

Jungkook’s welcome party had started an hour ago and even though you’d had opportunities, you hadn’t been brave enough to go in yet. You’d seen his parents through the doorway and had been tempted to go say hello…but then what? Stand there awkwardly while you all thought the same thing? Standing next to your soulmate but not doing anything about it. No thanks.

The intensity of the shame was too much to bear.

You were stood by the nursing desk, trying to kill some extra time by flipping through the charts of one of your patients when Lizzy caught you.

“There you are!” She called and you stood up straight, smiling over your shoulder at her. “What are you doing out there? There’s free food in the break room, you know. They have French fries, Y/N, French fries!”

You chuckled rolling your eyes and leaning your elbows against the counter as you turned to face her. “Careful now, you just might start a stampede with your volume.”

“Come on, let’s go eat.” Lizzy said, threading her arm through yours and you balked at the idea, attempting to pull your arm away but she clung tight.

“I can’t, I’m busy.” You lied and Lizzy’s face darkened.

“Really? Busy reading Mrs. Chapelman’s chart for the 6th time in an hour? I’ve been watching you, Y/N.”

You huffed a sigh, tugging at your arm again and this time Lizzy relinquished her hold. “Well that’s not creepy.” You muttered, “I’m just not really feeling hungry.”

“Then come socialize.”

“Or social.”

Lizzy crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, what is going on with you? You barely know Dr. Jeon, why are you acting like this? It’s kind of childish.”

You frowned over at your friend, fingers tapping at the desk behind you. “You don’t even know what happened between us or anything so that’s pretty rich.”

“Yeah, because you won’t tell me anything!” Lizzy fumed, “it hasn’t been from lack of trying on my part. He’s a really nice guy so I really don’t get this grudge you seem to have against him.”

“If I go in there, can we stop talking about Jungkook?” You sighed with a rolled of your eyes. Lizzy examined you carefully and you fought the urge to fidget under her gaze.

“First name basis, huh?”

“Oh my gosh, Lizzy!” You laughed. “Seriously. I’ll go in if we stop talking about him.”

“Fine,” she sniffed, grabbing your wrist, “but at some point, you’re going to have to tell me what’s going on. I’ve been pretty patient, but you know I’m a nosy s.o.b and you haven’t been sharing your gossip.”

Just as the two of you stepped into the room Lizzy’s pager beeped and she looked down at it, groaning. “I’ve gotta go, but you need to at least go say hi!” She insisted, pointing her finger at you.

She stomped her way out the door and you tried to carefully follow after before anyone else could see you, but it was too late. Jungkook’s eyes skimmed the room, landing on you and he grinned, calling your name and waving his hand over his head. His parents stood beside him, dressed in simple but classy dress clothes and you made your way towards them, Mrs. Jeon holding her arms open for you.

“Y/N!” She cooed, pulling you into her embrace, “how are you? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you!”

You hugged Mr. and Mrs. Jeon before taking the drink Jungkook handed you and smiling at his parents. “Wow, it really has been so long. Like 9 years, right? Can you believe it?”

“You should come visit your parents more often.” Mrs. Jeon scolded and you nodded, embarrassed.

“You’re right, I haven’t been out that way in too long. Just seems like there’s always an emergency that needs attending to here.”

You all chuckled and Mr. Jeon wrapped his arm around your shoulders again, squeezing. “How have you been? What have you been doing?”

“I’ve been good; just working mostly. Trying to find that work life balance.”

“Are you excited for your sister’s wedding? It’s coming up really soon, just over two months, right?”

“That’s right!” You smiled, one hand sliding into the pocket of your scrubs and you took a sip of your drink. It was fruity and light; maybe passionfruit. “Two months and one week officially. Ella called me this morning to threaten my life if I don’t wear the shoes she’s ordered for me.”

Jungkook laughed and you smiled up at him. “That sounds like something she’d say.”

“Well then you’d better wear the shoes.” Mrs. Jeon chuckled, taking a bite of her food. “You should get some, by the way,” she said, pointing down at her plate, “They did not skimp on taste.”

Jungkook motioned for you to walk passed him and you bowed your head in thanks, moving towards the table with him right behind you. “How was the rest of your night last night?” He asked, dropping a couple drumsticks on his plate and scanning the rest of the table for what he wanted next.

You grabbed a plate yourself, heading straight for the fried rice, allowing the grumbling in your stomach to make decisions for you. “It was good; very casual. We ordered in some dessert, binge watched a few episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and then went to bed early.”

“On a Friday night?” He chuckled and you turned to him, smiling.

“Well Jimin stayed up a little later than me working on one of his cases, but I have a 12 hour shift today so I wanted to be well rested.”

“Fair enough. Glad I have today off.”

“Don’t rub it in.” You complained and he grinned. You stood by the table as you ate; time was limited so you wanted to shove as much in as you could while you could.

“Is Jimin coming as your plus one to the wedding?” Jungkook asked, chewing on one of the drumsticks on his plate and you looked up at him, nodding.

“Yeah, that’s the plan. Unless something crazy comes up at work, of course, but that’s doubtful.”

“I bet your family is really excited to see you. Has it really been 9 years since you’ve been back home?”

“Well, no,” you shook your head, “just 9 years since I’ve happened to see your parents. I’ve definitely been back home but it’s always been when they were out of town or schedules just didn’t match up.”

“Yeah, they’re out of town a lot,” he agreed, grabbing a roll from the pile on the table, “That’s my dream for retirement.”

“To travel?” You asked, looking up at him and he nodded.

“Yeah, everywhere I can get to. I wanna see the whole world. What about you? Are you interested in travel?”

Jungkook’s parents were talking to Dr. Kim a few feet away and you watched them for a moment in thought. You wondered what they thought about all of this. Jungkook’s job, how far he’s come, this hospital, the fact that you worked here…just you in general. You’d never felt like your relationship with them suffered, but you knew, even if they didn’t say it, that they wanted you and Jungkook to be together.

Sometimes…when you weren’t paying attention to how your thoughts strayed, you wished that it could be that simple. That old wounds would heal and maybe some how things would work out. Life never worked how you thought it would, though.

“I mean, yeah, definitely.” You nodded, turning back to look at Jungkook. His hair was pushed back and away from his face and you could see that he had a mild undercut. You wondered if that was new. “Who doesn’t want to see the world? If only money allowed.”

“I’m a big believer in the fact that it’s not money that holds us back, more like lack of time and the will to make the sacrifices needed to save. One time, in college, my parents told me that they were going to go visit family in Korea in the spring. I only had about 5 months to save so I literally stopped spending money on things that weren’t necessary and saved a ton. It just took a lot of dedication.”

“Doesn’t that take some fun out of life, though? What if I want to go to lunch?” You grinned and he smiled back.

“Depends where your priorities lie, I suppose. I was willing to put off a few every day activities for 2 weeks of adventure. It was pretty worth it in my books.”

You sighed, taking a large sip of your drink and Jungkook watched your throat bob as he waited to hear what was on your mind. “Do you ever take a break from being obnoxiously good at all things?” You teased and he grinned, shrugging.

“There’s no rest for the brilliant.”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes and smacking his arm. “You’re so full of yourself.” Just then your pager beeped and you frowned, throwing away your empty plate. “Duty calls. I’m gonna go say goodbye to your parents.”

Jungkook nodded and you made you way over to bid your goodbyes before heading back out into the hallway and over to the labor ward. They were a little short tonight and needed someone to administer an epidural.

You had a cesarean section in an hour anyway so it was probably better to stay close to the area. Someone calling your name made you pause and you turned to find Jungkook jogging towards you. “Hey, sorry, I know you’re busy. My parents are leaving back home tomorrow night and they were wondering if you had any free time tomorrow, they want to take you out to eat.”

“Just me and your parents?” You asked, eyebrow raised and he chuckled, running his fingers through his hair and looking down at the ground.

“Well, no, I’d be there too.”

You scratched at your pant leg in thought, “Well, I’m working tomorrow night and into Monday morning so I could really only do something in the morning or early afternoon.”

“What about brunch? Would you be available for that?” He suggested, eyebrows raised.

“Sure, I think I can swing brunch,” You shrugged, “I’ve really gotta run, though.”

“Well how can I get a hold of you to tell you the details?” He asked as you began to move away and you stopped.

You looked around before grabbing a marker from the nurse’s desk next to you and reaching for his hand, scribbling your number down in his palm. “There,” you looked up at him, lips quirking up. “Problem solved.”

You placed the marker back in its place before nodding and turning around, walking around the corner and away from the man who had now made a habit of making your heart race.

When your shift was over you made your way wearily to your car, chucking your bag into the passenger seat and turning the key in the ignition; the car whirring to life noisily. It was only 7:15 but you’d been working for 12 hours straight and right now, you thought your feet might actually fall off.

The drive home was quiet. No music to disturb, rush hour long over. The quiet was nice; peaceful after a day of emotional turmoil and emergency surgeries. You enjoyed your drives home; like a reset of your emotional state, allowing you to breathe and feel human again. At least until the next shift.

Sometimes working in medicine, you did feel like a robot. It could become all too easy to switch off your emotions, especially in the cases when someone died in your care. Having to tell families that someone they’d trusted you with was gone…it was honestly the worst part of your job. All the monitoring and work in surgery was daunting, yes, but it usually paid off with a healthy person at the end.

But sometimes it didn’t.

Those moments made you bleed red, like somehow you’d died instead, lost a piece of your soul with the person you couldn’t protect. You’d seen many really good doctors just switch off; self-preservation, as it were. You understood it; that need to protect your own heart. It was tempting, sometimes, to want to switch off and just become robotic. Get the job done and don’t lose any of yourself in the process.

That’s not how it worked, though. In a choice like that, you always lost more of yourself when you chose to stop feeling. Choosing to embrace the emotion, you liked to believe it made you a more empathetic person. You wanted to grieve with those who were grieving; show them that they weren’t alone.

It was draining, though.

After parking your car and switching off the engine, you slid your bag back over your shoulder and made your way towards the elevator. You locked your car from over your shoulder.

The hallway was relatively quiet this evening, which was nice. Usually you could hear your neighbors trying to corral their two young children into their nighttime routine. Whatever it was, the kids hated it and you got to hear about it every night. You smiled at the thought, slipping your key into the lock of your front door and making your way into the apartment.

The house was quiet but the lights were on. “Jimin?” You called, making your way towards the living room.

He sat on the couch, eyes trained down on the floor and something about his silence was earie. Something felt…off.

“So, something really interesting happened today.” Jimin said, lips pursed as he picked at the fluff of one of your couch cushions. From the look on his face, it seemed like that something wasn’t a good thing.

“Oh?” You said, fingers griping tightly at the strap of your satchel “What happened?”

“I met a man today, at the store, we got chatting and we figured out that you both work together. His name was Taehyung Kim. You know what’s particularly interesting?” You heart plummeted as he looked up at you, face ridged from his emotion. “He looked nothing like the Taehyung Kim I met.”

There was silence for what felt like forever, a sharp stillness as Jimin watched you carefully, gauging your reaction.

“Who did I meet last night, Y/N?” He asked and you couldn’t help the tears as they welled in your eyes. “Who was that?”

He stood and your arm went limp, your bag sliding from your shoulder and onto the floor. “It was Jungkook.” You whispered.

“Who?” Jimin asked, voice sharp and you felt a tear slip over and onto your cheek.

“Jungkook.”

“How long has he been back?” The stone in his voice was terrifying.

“It’s been three weeks.” You mumbled, mouth wet with emotion.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jimin snapped, pacing across the room angrily, “for weeks you’ve been working with him and you never said a word!”

“I’m sorry!” You cried, “I really didn’t want to worry you. There’s nothing going on between us, I swear, we’re just coworkers. You know how the soulmates thing works, he and I are always going to have our lives revolve around each other.”

“Do you want to be with him?” He asked tersely.

“No!” You insisted, coming to stand in front of him, gripping his forearms.

“Does he want to be with you?” He asked softly.

You paused, not really sure of the answer. While he hadn’t exactly expressed his interest in words directly to you, his actions seemed to indicate that, that might be something on his mind. Your silence was all Jimin needed.

“Great.” Jimin replied sourly, “I guess this is it then, right? Gonna leave me for your soulmate?”

“No!” You balked, pulling him to you as he tried to turn away, “Jimin, you know I don’t believe in the soulmate thing. Just because his name is on my wrist doesn’t mean he suddenly adds value to my life; he never has. I don’t want to be with him, I want to be with you. I love you.”

Jimin frowned and your heart stuttered slightly in your chest; he almost looked…guilty. “I’ve gotta get some air.” He muttered, turning and storming from the apartment before you could stop him.

It had been three hours since Jimin had left, insisting he needed air. You were beginning to think he’d gone to a friend’s house when suddenly the keys in the lock roused your attention. You watched from your spot at the kitchen table as Jimin walked in, dropping his keys and his jacket on the console table and running his hands along his jeans before shoving them in fists into his pockets.

“Are you ok?” You asked softly, clutching tighter to your mug. Jimin took a deep breath, walking slowly into the kitchen but pausing in the doorway. Something wasn’t right.

“We need to talk.” He said, leaning against the door jam and your heart seized in your chest. You motioned for him to take the seat beside you and he moved slowly, sliding down onto the chair and folding his hands in front of him on the table. “I haven’t been 100% honest with you.” He said, gaze trained on the divots of the oak table you were both sitting at. Your stomach rolled uncomfortably but you waited for him to continue. “I tried to fight it for a while, tried to practice what I preach…but I’ve reached a point where I realize I just can’t anymore.”

“Tried to fight what?” You whispered. You were terrified. You’d heard this story before and it didn’t end well for you.

“I met Molly.” Jimin mumbled sadly, glancing up at you and you could feel your heart shatter. 8 years together, a lifetime of future plans already made suddenly evaporated.

“Ok.” You murmured hoarsely. You could feel the tears already pricking at your eyes. It wasn’t fair, what had you ever done to deserve this sort of heart break? Each guy you’d dated who’d insisted he didn’t believe in soulmates always seemed to change their tune once they’d met them. It was never ending disappointment.

“You remember that crazy couple that’s been going through my firm to get a divorce? Always screaming and asking for emergency meetings? Turns out the wife’s maiden name is Fisher.”

Molly Fisher. It was burned into your mind along with the skin of Jimin’s wrist, a constant reminder that he was never really yours to begin with…just like the name on your own wrist was a reminder that in the end, you weren’t really any bodies. It hurt so badly. You weren’t equipped to handle this sort of pain; how could you just pretend the last 8 years hadn’t happened? How could you watch the love of your life leave you for no other reason than the fact that the universe deemed it so?

"I thought you didn't believe in soulmates?" You mumbled. Your mouth felt heavy with emotion and tears were streaming down your cheeks.

"I didn't." Jimin sighed, "Until I met mine. I don't know how Jungkook did it, knowing you for so long and just giving you up. I've only known Molly three weeks and I can't imagine trying to breath without her."

You couldn't help the sob that escaped you and Jimin's bottom lip quivered at the sound. "I'm so sorry." He choked.

You nodded soundlessly, trying to regain your composure. “I know you are.”

“I never meant for this to happen!” Jimin cried, reaching out and taking your hand in his own. “I love you; you know I love you...but I can’t deny that it’s different. The way I feel about you and the way I feel about her are…” he paused at the trembling of your bottom lip and he looked down at your hands, sniffing, “it’s just something I can’t really ignore anymore.”

“I understand.” You said, standing and wiping at your tear stained cheeks, sniffing noisily as you tried to stop the wave of emotion that was overcoming you. “You should probably go, though, I don’t think your soulmate would like you being here with me.” You walked towards the living room, heart seizing as you heard Jimin cry louder.

“What do you want me to do?” He sobbed, standing and coming to hover at the kitchen door, “what am I supposed to do in this situation? Just tell me and I’ll do it!” He looked half out of his mind and in that moment, though your heart was still bleeding in the center of your chest, you felt immense pity for this man that you loved. He was torn between two horrifyingly difficult choices. Stay with the woman he was in love with and deny the pull to his soulmate, or give you up and follow his destiny with a woman he already loved so much more than he could express? You could already see that intense love on his face, the one they always talked about. No matter what he did, someone was going to get hurt.

And it looked like it was going to be you.

“You should go to her.” You mumbled, “I can’t keep you…I have to believe that I love you enough to let you go.”

“Don’t say that.” Jimin frowned, “I don’t want you to let me go.”

“But you want to be with Molly.” You said it as though it were a question, though you knew it was also fact. Jimin’s frown deepened because he couldn’t deny it. “You can’t have us both, Jimin, it’s greedy and not fair. I’m not willing to share you so you have to choose.”

Jimin stared at you in silence and you nodded, pursing your lips. “I’m going to stay with a friend tonight. You can get your stuff together and do whatever. We’ll sort out the lease on this apartment later. Right now, I just really need to go.”

“Y/N!” He called as you yanked open the door. You turned to look at him over your shoulder and he sighed, eyes bloodshot with tears. “What am I supposed to do without you?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” You whispered, “Goodbye, Jimin.”

The evening was surprisingly cool for the time of year; though the summer had come and gone, the days were still warm and sticky. You wished you’d brought your jacket but there was no way you were going back to the apartment now. You needed time to breathe and Jimin needed time to pack.

You felt like your heart was splintering all over again at the thought of him. You needed comfort. Food, you needed food. Your favorite diner was just around the corner and you picked up your steps, making your way through the door with a jingle of the bell and you smiled meekly at the hostess as she greeted you.

“Table for one?” She smiled and you nodded, following after her. She led you to your favorite table, pushed back against the wall and with a view out into the city. Leaving you with the menu and a promise to bring you a cup of hot chocolate pronto, you sighed, pushing your nose deep into the menu and scanning for something that would help you feel less miserable.

Maybe pancakes.

The sound of someone sliding into the vinyl seat across from you roused your attention and you looked up to find Jungkook, doe eyes wide and smiling as he surveyed you. He held in his hand a coffee mug and you eyed it wearily.

“Coffee at 10:30pm on a Saturday?” You asked and his smile deepened.

“Decaf.” When you said nothing he continued, “So what brings you here so late?”

“Jungkook,” you sighed, setting your menu down heavily, “do you need something?”

“I just thought you could use some company.” He replied and you frowned.

“Well, no offense, but I’ve had a pretty terrible night and you are kind of the last person I’d seek comfort from.”

You felt bad, Jungkook actually looked a little hurt and you closed your eyes, rubbing at them in frustration. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’ve just had a really bad night.”

“Is it anything I can help with?” He asked carefully and you sighed again, staring down at the menu.

“Not really.” You shrugged.

“Where’s Jimin tonight?” Jungkook asked. You knew he meant well, was trying to distract you from your thoughts…if only he’d known how poor that conversation starter was.

“At home packing, I presume.” You muttered weakly.

“Packing?” You could hear Jungkook’s discomfort.

“It would be weird to continue to live with one another after breaking up.” You said, feigning a casual air you most certainly did not feel.

“I’m so sorry.” Jungkook mumbled, and really, he did look very sorry, which was more comforting than it should have been.

“That’s what happens when you meet your soulmate, I guess…well, sometimes.” You tried not to look at him, but you could see him shifting uncomfortably in his seat, fingers tapping against his porcelain mug. It was silent for a while before the waitress came, delivering Jungkook’s food and your drink before promising to be back with your food soon.

“Want a fry?” Jungkook asked, pushing his plate towards you and you smiled.

“Sure.” You took a fry from his plate, chewing on the end of it and watching as he took a bite of his burger.

“Look,” he said after he’d swallowed his mouthful and chased it down with a sip of his coffee, “I know we’re not exactly…close, or what not, but if you need a place to stay, I’ve got a spare room, you’re more than welcome to stay the night.”

“That’s very generous of you,” you smiled, “but I’m OK. I’ll just call a friend and ask to spend the night. Beside aren’t your parents with you?”

“No, they wanted to stay in a hotel.” He said, “Are you sure, though? I really won’t bother you. My place isn’t too far away and the guest room has its own bathroom.”

“Thank you, Jungkook, really. I just think, considering our history, it’s probably not the best idea.”

“Can we put history aside for one night?” He asked softly, “I just want to help you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll get through this.”

“I know you will.” He replied confidently, “you’re strong, stronger than anyone I know. You’re passionate, intelligent, and kind. It’s not a question of whether you’ll get through it but whether you’ll let people who genuinely care about you help you.”

“And you would consider yourself one of those people?” You questioned, thanking the waitress as she dropped off your pancakes.

“Look, Y/N, I was 18 years old when I made that choice. I was scared and made a rash decision but it doesn’t mean that I never cared. I’ve done a poor job of showing it, but I’ve cared about you my entire life. Please let me help you.”

You chewed on your pancakes slowly as you considered him. Maybe you were being unfair, still holding this grudge against him. The both of you had been just barely 18 and there had been a lot of sudden changes. You weren’t ready to think of him in the context of falling in love, and you probably never would be…but perhaps you could be friends.

Sighing you nodded, “OK. Just for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll be back in my apartment, though.”

“Yes, of course!” He beamed and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Here it is.” Jungkook said softly, flicking on the lights at the front entrance and ushering you through. It was simply furnished, with clean lines and warm tones. It was similar in size to your own apartment, but with a more open plan style. “Let me show you the guest room.”

He led you down a separate hallway, pushing open the door on your right. “It’s nothing, fancy,” he mumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck, “but there’s blankets and pillows, an en suite, and the mattress is pretty comfortable.”

Simple grey’s and browns showcased the room perfectly and you smiled. “It’s great,” you said softly, “thank you.”

“I suppose you don’t have a tooth brush or pajamas, huh?” At the shake of your head he raised one finger, walking quickly back out of the room and you listened to the shuffling sounds at the end of the hallway. “Here,” he said, returning with a towel, a new tooth brush, and a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. “The clothes are washed and clean; I hope they fit. Let me know if you need anything else.”

You smiled, taking the small pile from him and nodding, “thanks, Jungkook.”

After he’d left the room you closed the door, changing into the pajamas provided and going to brush your teeth and wash your face. The shirt was a little too baggy and the shorts sagged on your hips, but you were happy to have clothes to sleep in; you didn’t really fancy sleeping in your jeans or even worse, your underwear. Not with Jungkook around, anyway.

After you’d finished preparing for bed you decided you wanted a glass of water to help you settle down. Stepping back into the hallway you padded slowly towards the kitchen in search of a cup. You hoped Jungkook had retreated to his room but those hopes were quickly dashed as you found him sitting at the kitchen Island, medical book opened across the countertop and laptop attached at the fingers.

He looked up at you in surprise before sitting up straight. “Oh, I’m sorry, did you need me to turn off the lights? I didn’t realize they reached all the way to the bedroom.” He made a move to stand but you motioned for him to sit and he slowly complied.

“No, you’re fine, I actually just wanted a glass of water before bed.”

“Oh, of course. Here, let me get that for you.” He said, pushing off the stool he’d been sat on.

“It’s really not necessary,” you insisted as he rounded the counter, “you’ve already been very kind to me, you can just point me to the cups.”

“Nonsense.” He smiled, pulling a glass from a cupboard above your head and moving to the fridge to get some water. “You’re my guest, let me take care of you. Go ahead and sit down.”

You moved reluctantly to the bar stool next to his, taking a seat and waiting for him to return with your drink. “Thank you.” You said, softly, as he slid the cup into your hands. “So, what are you working on?” You asked, setting your cup down on the counter after a careful sip.

“Just brushing up.” He smiled. “There’s a lot to remember and it’s all kind of overwhelming sometimes.”

You nodded, staring down into your mug. “Yeah, I remember being really intimidated when I first started. Sometimes I still feel a little overwhelmed if it’s a complicated case or something. We walk a fine line between life and death and it’s hard not knowing if you’re being delicate enough.”

“That’s exactly it! That’s why I wanted to be a surgeon, though. Knowing that I can do something to make people’s lives better. Some of the people who end up on that table are going to be having the worst moment of their life and I have the power to make a positive impact. It makes my heart race just thinking about it.”

“Sounds like you chose the right profession.” You smiled, looking over at him and he blushed, bowing his head down into his chest.

“I hope I can make a good doctor.”

“Jungkook…you’re already a good doctor. The fact that you care so much, means something. It’s not easy to look into the faces of the families whose loved ones have died on our tables. There’s going to be times when you just want to give up, but as long as you keep trying and caring the way you do right now, you’ll be successful.”

He smiled, bashful, staring down at the keys on his laptop, fingers tapping gently in thought. “Thanks Y/N, that’s mean a lot…especially coming from you.” He looked up at you and you felt like your heart might seize right in your chest. “You know, since you’re such a good doctor.” He stuttered and you nodded, taking a gulp of water from your cup and standing.

“Thank you, I appreciate that. I should probably get to bed now, it’s…” You sighed, “It’s been a long day.”

Jungkook nodded and you lifted your glass at him in a salute before turning around and walking back into the guest bedroom.

++++

Wow, thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry this one was sad, but it was necessary. After all, this is a Jungkook story, is it not? ;)

Let me know what you think <3

Chapter 12

Chapter 14

#btsbookclub #jungkook scenario #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff

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