#more to come. maybe. idk i need to think more thoughts and finish the episode maybe

[elegyofthemoon]

simply put! the ending of fena does not exist !! whatever the heck was going on in there i didnt see it. the show ended with abel blowing up in fire and yukimaru and fena living a good life together <3

[cressida-cowper]

okay. now a few thoughts on the aftermath of.. that night and its events.

1: aemond is so targeted for reasons i cannot make sense of. “oh it must be because he’s alicent’s son” but aegon is accepted. aegon himself torments the fuck out of his brother and for what? i cannot tell

2: the above being said, aemond had no right claiming vhagar. vhagar was laena’s, and this was the night of her funeral. and his fucking audacity to tell her daughters they should’ve claimed vhagar when they rightfully asserted that he was theirs to claim????????? they were still in fucking mourning kid

3: the above being said, aemond had every right to defend himself against his cousins, as, per point 1, they torment him relentlessly and without discernible reason

4. moving into the aftermath, i still am. so incredibly confused by viserys’ continued assertion that jacaerys and lucerys are velaryons when it is clear as day that they simply are not. is this because he doesn’t want rhaenyra’s claim challenged, because he doesn’t want his daughter’s reputation sullied, because he loves rhaenyra, because it would look bad on him, or some secret, fifth reason??

5: moving onto.. the confrontation, i do find aemond’s willingness to lie for his mother juxtaposed with aegon’s decision to vaguely omit intriguing. i’m not sure how i feel further but that’s where i stand for now

6: i do think everyone was just.. incredibly blasé about aemond Losing A Fucking Eye compared to the other childrens’ injuries . if i was alicent i would’ve killed all of them i think

7: moving onto alicent, like she said to her father, her actions could be perceived as madness. but i wonder how else that perception is interpreted. is her apparent descent into madness to be simply accepted, maybe even pitied as it is in the targaryen lineage, because they choose to marry and procreate with one another, or is she to be vilified, outcast, shamed? i wonder.

8: there was a moment, right before alicent lunged for the blade where she seemed to have a moment of clarity through the fog of her ever-present tears and i do wonder her thought process in that moment. if i were to seriously analyse it (which i may) i’d say it must’ve been something along the lines of “my sons. this is the only way i can protect them. if viserys wishes to remain ignorant, this is all i am left with” i perceived that as her going on autopilot in defence of herself and her children when faced with the stark reality that the world was unjust and viserys was silly

[nickfowlerrr]

so inviting, i almost jump in.

pairing: neighbor!bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: fluff. pining. idiots in love? fake dating...kinda lol. a lil bit of angst but not too much.

words: 4.5k

notes: happy new year! i tried so hard to finish this last night but just couldn’t do it lol. this is part of the ciwywt universe, but i think it can be read as a standalone, too.

also - coherent, consistent timelines? sorry, don’t know her. idk where this fits in their story but it does bc i say it does. 😌 i really love these two and i hope you enjoy this lil fic as much as i do. thank you in advance for reading. as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome, and so appreciated! 💞

"Ow,” you wince, “damn it," you grumble to yourself as you set your eyeliner pencil down, blinking rapidly to quell the tears you could feel about to form in your eye. You huff and turn to look down at the cause of your distraction, your phone ringing loudly as it lays on the counter. You see the caller and preemptively roll your eyes. Not this again.

You swipe to answer the call and his voice immediately floats into your ear, giving you no time to even utter a 'hello'.

"Before you say anything-"

"No," you state firmly, annoyance clear in your tone as you stop him before he can begin.

"Doll,"

"Bucky, I said no," you cut him off again. "It's a no. No. No, no, no. Not gonna happen," you continue despite his pathetic huff sounding on the other end.

"I know you said no..." he says before trailing off for a second, "but, doll, I really need you."

Damn him. You sigh heavily into the phone, putting a hand to your forehead to stop the headache you know is coming. He's really trying to pull on your heart strings... unfortunately for him, it's not gonna work.

"You don't need me, Bucky. You're gonna be fine. They're your friends, if you just tell them what you told me, they'll understand. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's not," he huffs, stopping himself, and you can almost hear him shake his head, "Will you at least try to come by?"

You know you won't, but you don't want to upset him any more than he already is.

"Yeah, I'll try. And stop worrying so much. You'll have a good time, I know it," you smile, the thought of him and his friends enjoying their New Year's Eve tugging at your lips.

"Yeah," he responds, sounding a little unsure. "Okay, well, I'll see you later?"

"Mhm...maybe," you say.

"Doll," he groans, causing an unbidden laugh to slip from you at his dramatics.

"I said I'd try, no promises! But I do have to go now, so, talk later. Bye," you finish, hanging up on him before he can try and talk you into making a promise you have no intention of keeping.

You sigh heavily as you set your phone back down, returning to your almost finished makeup. Just because you aren't going out doesn't mean you can't look good.

You're still so surprised he asked you to be his fake date to his New Year's Eve party. Both because you were surprised he was hosting a party to begin with, and because he needed a fake date.

But that was just it, he didn't need a fake date. He wanted to get his friends off his back with the constant set ups and double dates they'd plan for him. What he really needed to do was tell them the truth, just like he told you. He didn't want to date, at least not right now. He said his mind was on other things. That was understandable, so you weren't sure why he couldn't just tell them that...

A part of you feels bad for not helping Bucky out, but the other part of you knows you'd feel like a total outsider at a small party being attended by the avengers.

Like, the real-life superhero team, The Avengers.

That was an immediate 'no thank you'.

You were content to spend the night alone; just you, your grapes, and some apple cider to cheers to the new year.

--

The television plays on, another episode of a show you've seen ten times before just starting up, as a knock sounds at your door.

You furrow a brow as your head shoots in its direction. It only takes a second for you to come to the conclusion that it must be Bucky. You set your drink down and stand from where you were sitting cozily on your couch.

You fix your dress, and for no reason at all, check yourself in the mirror before you near the door, making sure your makeup isn't smudged and your hair still looks nice as you do.

There's another knock as you get to it and you open your door with a bit of attitude at his impatience.

"Bucky, how many times-" you're stopped short as you quickly see that the man before you is, in fact, not Bucky. "Oh, uhm, sorry, can I help you?" you ask.

"Yeah," the man laughs, "I'm here for the party. This is the right apartment, isn't it? Bucky Barnes?" he asks, looking at you quizically.

"No," you answer, "no, wrong apartment. He's just," again you're cut off, but this time by the door right down the hall opening, none other than Bucky peeking out to look down at you and - oh my god wait...is this - this is - holy shit you're talking to Captain America. Your eyes round as you look from Bucky back over to the man before you. "Oh, gosh, you, you're,"

"Sam Wilson," he smiles brightly at you, extending a hand. You shake hands as he continues, "and you must be-"

He is cut off from saying your name as it comes out of Bucky's mouth, almost frantically. You look from Sam back over to Bucky, your eyes still wide.

"I know you're still getting ready, but would you come here for just a second," he nods at you. You look once more between Sam and Bucky, your eyes narrowing as they land back on your own personal pain in the ass. What the hell is he up to... You and Sam go to walk over to him but Bucky speaks again. "Not you, Sam. You stay there," he says in a fuss. Sam puts his hands up, a look of confusion clear on his face at Bucky's demand.

You continue toward him and as soon as you're close enough to touch, he pulls you to him, turning you both so Sam can't see what you're saying. It's a hushed conversation, a whispered argument, really.

"You have to come over."

"No, I really don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You're staying."

"No, I'm not."

"You're staying. I'm not letting you leave," he says, trying to corral you into his apartment as you swipe at him, a back and forth of swats ensuing between the two of you.

"Bucky!" you finally whisper yell, stopping the battle as you ball your fists, almost stomping like a toddler in your annoyance. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I lied."

"Huh? To me? About what?"

"To all of you. But mostly them. I told them you'd be here. Because I thought you would be. But then you said you weren't coming, but I couldn't tell them that or they'd think I was just making up another lie about you..."

"Another lie?"

"I...may have... told my friends that we're dating and have been for a few weeks," he murmurs under his breath, so quiet you can barely hear his confession.

"You what?" you balk, trying your hardest to squash the stupid butterflies that are fluttering around in your stomach now at the idea of not only dating Bucky, but of being someone he brings up in conversation to other people.

"Alright, love birds, cute as this is, are one of you gonna invite me in or am I just supposed to stand here awkwardly in your hallway all night?" Sam interjects, walking to you both as you turn your heads to look at him.

Bucky turns entirely, moving closer to you, slipping his arm behind your back and resting his hand on your hip, "Yeah, welcome in. Steve said he'd be here with beer in a few minutes," Bucky says, an annoyed edge to his voice as he lets Sam through the door. Sam raises a brow at you and you force a smile. As soon as he's inside, Bucky snaps the door shut behind him, leaving you both in the hallway still.

"What the hell," Sam says, loud enough for you to hear through the door.

"Look, it started as a lie to get out of a date, but then I just kept using you an excuse to not go to things I didn't wanna go to. And ya know, more than half the time I wasn't really lying because I was with you," he tries to excuse himself.

"Are you insane?" you ask him plainly.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I really need you to be here tonight, please," he begs, his puppy eyes starting to get to you.

"You had only asked me to be your fake date."

"Yeah, once you said yes, I was gonna work the girlfriend thing in," he smiles wryly, rubbing the back of his neck in his anxiousness.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Is that a yes?"

You roll your eyes before acquiescing, "Fine. But you've gotta come clean tomorrow. You can't start the new year with secrets, it doesn't bode well for anyone."

"Deal," he smiles his real smile this time. Then his eyes drift down to your outfit and you warm, like you always do, under his attention. "You look good," he says softly, sincerity in his voice.

"Thanks," you accept quickly. You will not let him fluster you so easily. Not tonight.

--

More of Bucky's friends arrive soon after you get back from your apartment, your bag of grapes and bottle of unopened cider in hand. Bucky introduces you to each of them and you're now unsurprised that they know your name and exactly who you are. And you, for your part, are in awe of each and every one of them. Though you like to think you don't make it obvious.

And it's surprising how normal it all feels.

You for sure thought you'd be a nervous wreck around these people, but, especially with Bucky by your side, you've never felt so calm and comfortable, and at a party of all places. Though you suppose it helps that you're already so comfortable around his apartment. Still, it's nice. They're nice. And fun!

Card games are played, karaoke sung, and stories told as you all snack and chat the evening away.

You're all laughing as Sam talks about how everyone was sure Bucky had been making you up like a summer camp girlfriend after the fifth time he claimed you were sick or out of town so you couldn't show up to the events they had invited you to. Of course, you had no idea about any of them, but you do know where you were each and every night they brought up.

You were here.

With Bucky.

So, he wasn't completely lying. You smile and look to Bucky who stands right next to you. Your eyes instantly meet his, a smile of his own already gracing his face. You look back down, bashful despite yourself.

The night has passed so quickly and it's already nearing midnight. You're about to go get your grapes ready, but Steve's voice stops you, catching your attention.

"Ya know, I can't even remember the last time I've seen you look so happy, Buck," Steve smiles as he looks at the two of you. "I'm really happy for you, both of you,” he adds. “It's obvious how much you two care about each other. It's good to see."

You don't know what to say, and you're too scared to look at Bucky. You just force another smile, feeling a bit sad more than anything. Because this isn't real. Whether you'd like it to be or not. It isn't. You have to remind yourself of that.

Bucky's hand squeezing your waist, and the feeling of his admiring gaze on you as he pulls you closer to his side, doesn't help. It just makes that pit in your stomach grow deeper.

This is easy for him because it means nothing.

This is killing you because it means everything. It’s everything you never give yourself permission to dream about. Everything you want. And it’s what you know isn’t for you. It couldn’t be.

Just a few more minutes, you breathe, and then you'll go back to normal. No dating, just friends...just friends? Whatever it is you are to him...

You're lost in thought as the conversation continues around you, Bucky's hand never leaving you and his gaze never wavering. Even as he engages in the conversation, his attention is solely on you.

"Oo, countdown is going!"

The yell pulls you out of your head as your eyes snap to the television. What the hell! How did you just lose eight minutes? Damn Bucky always taking up your thoughts and distracting you.

You don't have the time to get to the fridge for your grapes as the kitchen is crowded, flutes of cider and champagne being passed out among the group.

You tsk, oh well. At least you have on your red underwear.

As the count gets lower, Bucky gets closer, and you mindlessly lean back into him as you watch the live broadcast from Time Square. Ten seconds hits and you all count along, Bucky's other arm comes around as he holds you from behind. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Bucky turns you around in his arms, catching you off guard as you look up at him, your hands coming to rest on his chest.

Two.

He leans in, and you're frozen. His nose brushes yours, as his lips brush against your own. Oh.

One.

"Happy New Year," he whispers against you, cheers and exclamations of the same sentiment shared all around the living room, between everyone else.

"Happy New Year," you whisper back breathily before you unthinkingly press closer to him.

His lips meet yours as he leans in ever closer and kisses you, so softly. Your eyes flutter closed as you return his affection, kissing back harder than you intend before you break away. It feels like magic, it feels like home. And you want nothing more than to do it again. To lose yourself in him so delightfully…

You remember yourself then and almost shy away completely before Bucky takes your face in his hand, turning you back to him. You lock eyes once more and you feel like you can't breathe at what you see in his. You don't have time to think on it before his eyes flick down to your lips and then he's kissing you again. His lips press harder against yours, still moving just as gently but somehow it feels much more intimate. Sincere. Real.

You deepen the kiss and then suddenly the whooping and claps around you both bring you back to reality.

You pull away, taking a sobering breath, blinking away the haze of longing as Bucky's delicate touch remains on your cheek. You gingerly reach to take his hand, slowly pulling it off of you. You hold it for a second, squeezing his hand before letting it drop.

The celebration continues all around but you need to get yourself together. Alone.

"'M gonna use the bathroom," you whisper to him, knowing he can hear you even through the din.

You exchange 'Happy New Year' exclamations with everyone you pass on your way to his bathroom and bid goodnight to the people already getting ready to head home. A lot of them have early mornings at the tower, so you get it.

There are only a few people in the living room with Bucky as you look back before you escape to the bathroom, taking your time to decompress.

Sam, Steve, and Nat were talking with him, but his eyes were on you when you looked at them.

You knew this was a bad idea. You knew you'd get caught up in the fantasy. And somehow, he still got you to do it. You curse yourself in the mirror and then notice your smudged lipstick.

The thought of your lipstick staining Bucky's lips right out there has you in a flurry of emotions...

He kissed you. Twice. That actually happened. But did it really mean anything?

Your heart twists as you refuse to believe it could have. You just need to... God, you don't know what you need. All you know is right now you can't stop thinking about Bucky's hands on you. You can't stop thinking of how soft and supple his lips are. And how damn good of a kisser he is.

You look at yourself once more in the mirror.

Fucking hell. What are you gonna do? You sigh, eyes squeezing shut before you shake your head at yourself.

You turn back to the door, opening it right when someone's knock hits.

You're somehow surprised, and yet not at all, to see Bucky staring back at you as you pull it open wider.

"Hey," you say, raising a brow and shoving every fuzzy feeling threatening to strangle you back down.

"Hey," he started. "Everyone left. I just, uh. Wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm good," you nod.

"I'm sorry. About kissing you."

"Oh," you utter - sounding more dejected than you wanted to. "Yeah, no. Don't, don't even worry about it." You muster a shamefully see through smile.

His stare is near invasive as he really looks at you, analyzing you. He opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of it, instead giving you a tight lipped smile in return.

He nods, then looks to the floor, "Okay," he accepts.

You nibble your lip, crossing your arms as he still stands in front of you.

He notices and moves out of your way, offering a small sorry and a huff of a laugh.

You walk back out into the living room as he follows.

"Wow, this place is a mess,” you breathe a laugh, hoping to keep the subject change.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I'll be having fun tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" you question. "Are you busy now?"

"... I guess not."

"Then grab a garbage bag, Barnes. We've got work to do."

He laughs, "Oh, yeah? You're gonna stay and help me clean up?"

"What are friends for if not clean up?"

He smiles at you as his mind replays his conversation with Sam, Steve and Nat just minutes ago.

He told them the truth about you, and their reaction wasn't what he expected, but definitely what he needed.

"Wait, sorry, you're not dating her?" Nat asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I'm confused, too," Sam added. "You guys act more like a couple than most couples I know."

"And she's cute, you seem perfect together."

"Well, we're not. Not, not perfect together," he amended, "I mean we're just not together. We're friends. Nothing more."

"Looks like a hell of a lot more, if you ask me..."

"So," Steve finally chimed in, "you spend all that time together, you talk about her constantly, and I saw the way you kissed her at midnight, Buck, but you're telling us it's nothing more than friendship?"

Bucky didn't know what to say. But he knew Steve knew what he was really feeling. He knew exactly what he wasn't saying.

"Do you want it to be more?" he asked. "Because from an outsider's perspective, it seems like you have everything with her but the label."

"I..." Bucky looked around, making sure you hadn't snuck back out of the bathroom yet, "yeah. I do want it to be more. She's, fuckin' perfect," he breathed a laugh as his thoughts, as they always do, strayed back to you. That familiar warmth that fills his chest anytime you're near, or hell, anytime he so much as thinks your name, returned to him. And suddenly his thoughts went back to the softness of your cheek as he held you close earlier. How pliant and perfectly your lips moved against his as you kissed him back. Not once, but twice.

Even still, he thinks back to when he told you why he was so reluctant to go on the dates his friends kept setting up for him. It was a lie when he said it was because he didn't want to date right now... well, partially. He really didn't want to date around. And his mind was focus on other things.

Other things, of course, being you.

When you nodded and told him you got it, that you felt the same way, his heart felt like it deflated by ten.

He was getting ready to finally make his move and ask you out, for real this time. But how could he do that now? He didn't want to be another guy you had to swat away, he couldn't be another one of your rejections. And you gave out plenty, always to his selfish delight if he was being honest. In fact, he can't remember the last time you actually went out on a date. It's been months...

Most of your nights are spent together. Just the two of you. But if you weren't wanting to date anyone right now, and he asked you, he couldn't be sure what you'd say. More importantly, where it'd leave you.

Bucky wasn't stupid, he wasn't blind, and he wasn't deaf. He had every confirmation he could ever want that you liked him the same way he liked you. But he didn't want to chase you away by pressuring a relationship, especially if that's not what you want.

"It's clear she likes you, too, ya know," Steve pointed out what he thought was the obvious.

"I know, I just. I don't wanna push her away by moving too fast. I don't think she's looking to date anybody right now,"

"If you don't ask, you'll never know."

He knew they were right. He needed to just bite the bullet and ask you outright. And he would.

But as he watches you glide around his kitchen, so at home, putting things back in their rightful places and throwing away the random garbage left behind, he thinks maybe not tonight… He doesn’t want to ask a question that might make you leave. But then again…what if it makes you stay?

"Chop chop, supersoldier," you admonish him as he continues to watch, staring dreamily at you. Your back is to him so you can't see his face, but you can feel the weight of his gaze.

Bucky follows your lead, tossing away the empty cups and putting away the leftover food and drinks while you wipe down the counter.

It really wasn't that much of a mess, but you're glad to get it cleaned now, so you won't have to worry about it tomorrow.

Wait...why would you be worried about it tomorrow? This isn't your apartment. God, you really are always over here, aren't you...

You turn to Bucky as he ties off the bag of trash.

You just look at him for a minute. Admiring him from mere feet away while he does the same to you. It's quiet between the two of you, but you can feel the charged silence as it brims with words unsaid.

You know what you want to do right now. But you do what you think you should instead.

"I guess I'll head out, then."

"Oh," he breathes.

"Oh?"

"I just, uh,” he shakes his head, "Never mind."

"No, what is it?" you prod, now entirely curious.

Bucky's bright eyes flash back up to yours and you see him search for what to say instead of saying what was on his mind.

"Your grapes," he remembers, turning to the fridge to get them for you, "you didn't eat them."

"Oh, yeah, well, too late now," you laugh softly.

"What's your resolution?" he asks.

"That's not how the grapes work, Bucky."

"Come on," he goads. "What's your resolution? I wanna know."

"Hmm. Well, good question," you think for a moment, watching him as he rinses off a bunch, then pulls two grapes from their stems. You mindlessly purse your lips as you think. "I want to be less scared," you start quietly, eyes meeting his intent gaze, when he looks back at you, "More confident," you add with a little nod.

"You, more confident?" he asks. "You're one of the most confident people I know. And I know Thor," he adds, getting the laugh he was hoping for from you.

You shrug, "Fake it til you make it." You give a soft, almost sad smile. It physically hurts him to see that hint of sadness in your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to do whatever he can to take it away. He hands you one of the two grapes and you raise a brow as you take it.

"And you?"

Your heart rate kicks up as he steps close, invading your space and standing right before you.

"I…would like to communicate better."

You huff a laugh, tittering, "Yeah, that's a good one."

"Let's both start right now," he says, holding up his grape.

"Okay. Let's," you hold up your own grape, bumping it into Bucky's as if you were toasting before you both pop your own grape into your mouth, stupid smiles on both of your faces.

As you finish, Bucky takes a step closer, surprising you as you look up to him. A bit of deja vu coming over you as you swallow hard. You wait a long breath for him to say something. And then he finally does.

"So. This is me, trying to communicate better: I'm not really sorry that I kissed you. Either time. And if I'm being entirely honest, I'd really like to kiss you again right now."

You're stunned silent and you think you can hear your blood rushing in your ears as you blink up at him.

It takes you a moment before you think you can respond, but Bucky speaks again before you do.

"But I'm not going to do that. Because I want to do this right. In fact, I've been wanting to do this right for months."

"Bucky?" you murmur quietly.

"Doll, will you do me the pleasure of accompanying me to dinner and a movie this Friday?" he asks sincerely.

Your mouth is dry and you have to force yourself to swallow hard again so you can speak. "We always do dinner and movies on Fridays," you point out.

"I mean as a date," he clarifies, holding himself to his resolution.

You stare at him, unsure of what to say. Well, that's not true. You know what you want to say. You know what you want to do. You want to say yes, and you want to lean into him again and indulge him in one more kiss, because you want to kiss him as badly as he wants to kiss you. But that terrified voice in the back of your head is currently telling you to make a run for home as fast as you can. You want to fight the fear, really you do.

Bucky is keeping his resolution already, you're just not sure if you can do the same.

"Uhm," you drone awkwardly.

He laughs that nervous laugh you rarely get to hear...the one you love.

"Is that a yes?" he asks with a hopeful wince.

It takes you a second and then your mouth moves before your brain does as you respond to him.

You stand there, a bit shocked at your own answer, and not entirely sure where to go from here...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my partner they need to be better at communicating during sex?

NSFW ask, but this has been an ongoing issue for a while and I’m very frustrated

My (19M) partner (21NB) is my first true sexual partner. They’ve been with other people in the past, some good experiences but mostly bad. I on the other hand have dated before and have had pseudo-sexual relationships (just touching) but my partner is the first person I’ve properly done the horizontal tango with

That being said, with my just-touching exes, we’ve always been extremely careful about communication in the moment. My most recent ex and I had the stoplight method even when we weren’t being kinky. It was reassuring to be able to check up on her and for her to be able to do the same. Maybe we were playing is too safe, idk, but that’s what I became comfortable with during sex

With my current partner, however, this has never been the case with their exes. I think I might be the first partner they’ve had that actually took time before making any sexual advances to ask them what they like and how I can make them happy because in the moment when I did, they looked confused.

Being horny young adults, we did eventually sleep together, and during the act, I realized that neither of us had checked in on the other outside of the initial “is this okay?” when removing clothes (I was the one who asked) so I slowed my roll and asked my partner if they were with me. They were not. They sputtered and said that I brought them out of the moment, and I became really really concerned that they had been disassociating the entire time because of previous sexual trauma. I told them I wanted to stop, they did not, so I rolled off and whispered into their ear while (and I apologize for not finding a better way to describe this without being overly graphic) I was straight jorkin’ em off. They were happy, they fell asleep, and I felt awful.

About half an hour later they kicked me out because their mom was coming home from a New Years Eve party (it was my 19th birthday which also hurt), but that’s not relevant, I just need the timeline in place.

We’ve done more sexual things since then and every time I try to check on them, they get weirded out. I stopped doing it in the moment so overtly and changed tactics to asking “what can I do for you” and “what do you need baby”, and this seems to get the job done. However, afterwards when I ask actually ask them how they were feeling, they would say that “the afterglow’s ruined” (which is wild because we’ve been together for six months and I’ve never finished -> I am a pre-op transman and my partner is AMAB, aka has told me that they don’t know what to do with my parts and once joked that sex would be easier if I had a dick, for context)

The last straw was tonight (March 4th) when they came over to my place and we started making out. I wasn’t really feeling it, so I tried to back off and shift to just lazy kisses, but my partner didn’t stop so I pulled away and said: “not tonight, baby”

They said: “if you weren’t in the mood, why did you kiss me?”

I said: “because I like kissing you?”

They said: “you should have told me you didn’t want to do anything. I don’t want to get the wrong idea.”

I said: “I’m sorry, I should have. I thought I wanted to, but I changed my mind. Can we go back to watching anime?”

They said yes and we watched another episode of a show (dungeon meshi!!) before I finally asked them why they don’t check in with me the way I do with them

They said: “I don’t like talking during sex. Ruins the vibe”

I said: “Okay, so can we find a system that lets the other know how we’re feeling when we don’t want to talk? Like how I use signs when I go nonverbal?”

They said: “I don’t see the point. If you don’t want to fuck, just push me off.”

I got mad and said: “What is wrong with you? I don’t want to push you off, I want to talk about it!”

They told me I was getting worked up and left. It’s been two hours and I feel like total shit for pushing the subject when they’ve expressed that they don’t like my expectations for sex. Am I too high maintenance?

TL;DR, I annoyed my partner by asking too many times for them to talk to me during sex, they got pissed and left my house. Atia for asking too many times?

What are these acronyms?

[shakespearean-dream]

TW!!! — blood, scarring and mild body horror ahead 🥲

benny’s turn!

before i start i wanna clarify i hesitated a bit on posting this because lovely mutual @vor-leser just posted his benny interpretation (go look at it and follow him btw), and idk if we like mind melded or smth but our human benny’s are super similar LOL. i damn near scrapped the whole thing out of fear someone would get mad at me but i Would Not be able to start over and get this done ever so this is as good as we’re gonna get. 😭 my apologies niko love u /p

this has been like a full 7 days in the making 😭😭 the art block that i felt coming on while doing ellen and ted hit me like an optimus prime sized semi truck this week along with a depressive episode so i definitely appreciate that happening and i am not upset about it at all! /s i’m totally good so don’t worry or anything /gen, mental health is just weird and i also wanted to explain the gap in my posts 😔

i do not know how to feel about this drawing if i’m so fr with you; i’m proud of myself for AM-ified benny cause i think i got the slowly rotting from the inside out primal freak energy down pretty good, but on the other hand this feels kinda empty?? i usually have a lot more commentary squished in here but i think my brain’s a little fried 🤦‍♂️ i love drawing me some beautiful buff men though so drawing normal ben was familiar territory. however his wack ass haircut i gave him is his punishment for being a PRICK!!! go sit in the corner and think about ur actions benjamin.

like ted n the rest of the sillies i’m not straying too far from canon with his personality, he’s an ass and a murderer and a hella smart dickhead who desperately needs to be punished by the universe (thank you for that one AM). hot take i did not like his “redemption arc” in his game scenario and i don’t think with how he was throughout the entirety of his life (and also throughout the game, main example his inner dialogue) he would actually go out of his way to help the kid because he means it??? n prove he changed to the guys he killed cause he means it??? i dunno maybe AM torturing him made him have a main character “omg i’ve been in the wrong this whole time!!1” moment like the game suggests i’m just not buying it 💀 i’m sure it’s just cause bennys scenario couldn’t be too long and they couldn’t fully flesh him out which i won’t fault the game makers for. i’m a steven universe fan, i know what time constrictions can do to a plot and redemption arc 😭 looking at you white diamond…

his wife n kids are up top and they’re kinda neat to me— i was considering the hc that part of the reason manya (his canon wife) left him is because she realized she was a lesbian which would be funny as fuck considering benny’s also One Of Them Queers 😭. i think during the brief times he was home and able to parent his daughters they got really scared and tired of him, one because he’s just a very threatening powerful and overbearing man, but also because i feel like he would’ve been on their ASS about everything. grades, extracurriculars, friends, wardrobe, this guy was micromanaging his family to an annoying extreme (ofc because of his perfectionist complex). he probably loved manya and the kids in his own weird way, but it was more contractual to him than any real personal relationship. maybe he inherited that from his own parents?? i doubt he ever talked to them after he moved out.

that’s about the end of my thoughts on this fucker. 🥲 funny storyyyy i just remembered i have laundry to finish so im gonna go do that, lord help me. thank you for reading all this if you did!!!!! we’re over halfway through so who do yall want next? wanna save AM or nimdok for last? i’ll see u guys later :]]]

[universitysunflowers]

Ok I've had some time to process heres my detailed thoughts (TBB spoilers)

First I want to get my biggest issue with the finale out of the way - Tech and CX-2. I have been delusional about him but not to the point that I wouldn't accept his death or other clones as CX-2, and I was staying open. But then they went and did exactly what I hoped they wouldn't: they gave us no confirmation of his identity at all and left him thumbtacked to a wall with no face reveal. Not only is this exactly what they did in Ahsoka, but I also feel like it left a huge gap in the finale storyline. They put so much emphasis on him throughout season 3, including the last episode, and we got nothing out of it. I also felt like this made Tech's death kind of meaningless?? Which I absolutely hate saying because of what he sacrificed in season 2, but why kill him when the rest of the batch gets to live happily on Pabu and grow old with Omega? Maybe the writers had a good reason and I just didn't pick up on it?

I also felt like we were gaslit into thinking it was Tech, only for the ending to imply he's been gone the whole time. Domicile? Phee? CX-2's fight with Crosshair and the waterfall? the way he got the most screen time out of a group that was so clearly meant to be an imperial reflection of the original squad? Idk guys I feel like we got cheated there.

I also wish we got some idea of what happened to Wolffe and Cody, but maybe that is an opening for another show? perhaps?

Ok now that that is out of the way I can talk about how much I absolutely loved the rest of the finale.

Emerie's character development was amazing I've been routing for her since the season 2 finale and you know those Jango Fett genes are coming in strong she will take such good care of those kids for as long as they need. I also think it would be cool to see her again in future productions, her character definitely has potential.

Echo survived!! All the parallels between him and CW season 6 Fives had me terrified that he was about to die but that arc trooper experience paid off. His reaction to Omega freeing the zillo is by far one of my favorite parts of the episode he was so proud of her and I was glad to see him work so well with Emerie. I am also fully ready to enjoy Echo and Rex leading a clone rebellion whenever they deem us deserving of it (looking at you Filoni). I know we don't have proof of anything but there are still to many unanswered questions surrounding the clones, I hope they finish those storylines.

The last Domino is still standing, they would be so proud of him (and his dad jokes).

Hemlock finally got what he deserved and oh I was so happy that Hunter was the one who did it, especially after all the batch went through because of him. And what came after that? Even better. We finally got a Crosshair and Omega hug (plus Hunter) and they all made it off Tantiss alive I mean what more could we ask for?

I have so many feelings on the ending and the epilogue and I'm not really sure how to put them into words but my first instinct when I finished the episode was to spend 40 minutes c r y i n g

they got a happy ending? they have peace and happiness on Pabu and got to see Omega grow up? Omega is going to fly with the rebellion and fight back against the empire?

and Tech will be with her the whole time???

I am unwell. This has left me emotionally unstable. Not only is that the best ending I could have hoped for given the past seasons but it is also such an amazing last look at their family. No matter how you think of them you have to admit Hunter was right, she is their kid and that will never change. That line alone will be living in my head rent free from here on out. Her last talk with Hunter was so well done and is one of the best moments in the whole show, but honestly Tech's goggles on her ship's dash is what broke me; he would be so proud of her I need at least 3-5 business days to process this.

Yes I have my issues with the unfinished storylines but wow that finale was something I don't think I will ever recover from. It may be one of the best endings we have ever seen in star wars. Like I said, I have a lot feelings and if I tried to put them all in a post it would have to be a multi-volume novel.

If you made it this far thank you! Feel free to add your own thoughts I like hearing what other people have to say. I'm just going to go burrow straight into the ground now and pretend I don't have finals next week because honestly who can be productive after something like that?

Oddly enough this is making me want to go back and watch the Clone Wars again, maybe Rebels too? Definitely making me nostalgic.

[sparrow-in-the-field]

I finished watching lady baseball show last night and I have a lot of thoughts!! Some of them controversial?? Perhaps lol. Let's see!

First and most importantly, I really enjoyed the show! Anything critical I say is said with love lol. Overall it was a good show!

I loveddddd Clance. Clance and Max's friendship was everything to me (probably a post of its own but straight/gay friendships hold such a special place in my heart). I love them, they were so so so good I want to protect them at all costs. Clance was so wonderfully witty, she was cracking me up the whole show.

I also adored Lupe and Jess. If it was up to me Lupe would have been the mc of the Peaches. She was such an interesting and complex character who exhibited growth throughout the season and I loved every scene with her. And she's hot but that's not the point.

Jess too! I would have loved more time with Jess, I also ate up all of her scenes. And she looks like a butch version of my wife so she was also hot but again not the point. I'm not saying for sure that some Jess/Lupe fics could be coming, but... I'm not not saying it either.

Alright my controversial (or maybe not idk) take: I wasn't a big fan of Carson/Greta...whoops. idk I just didn't think they had great chemistry, it felt like a lot of telling rather than showing. They were supposed to really like each other but a lot of their scenes together they kinda just seemed annoyed/mad at each other 😬 idk sorry to my fellow lesbians I have failed you.

My conspiracy theory is that if the show was supposed to be multiple seasons then Greta/Carson was never meant to be end game and it was actually Carson/Max end game but idk that's probably not realistic with the times but I mean. At least they seemed to actually like each other don't kill me lol

Another big reason why I think Greta/Carson doesn't work well is because their relationship isn't reflected in the game. A huge component of sports shows/films is the sport being a reflection of real life, especially the relationships of people involved (see for more: my obsession with tbitb coxstroke). Baseball is the perfect game for this because it has an incredibly important dynamic/relationship within the game: catcher and pitcher. It absolutely baffled me that they didn't have the main couple be the catcher and pitcher (cough Carson/Max, cough). And tbh? Maybe not romantically, but Carson and Lupe's dynamic was far more interesting to me than Greta and Carson, because I got to see how it matter on the field. Greta and Carson barely played off each other in the sport, it was mind boggling to me.

On a similar note, I loved whenever the show was focused around baseball. I feel like they kind of lost that in places, and whenever we'd get back to an actual game where we'd get to see them play I'd be like "man I love this!" What can I say, I love a good sports film!

Sometimes the pacing of the show felt off to me. Like certain plot points they'd squeeze in and resolve pretty quickly even if they felt like a big deal, while others felt drawn out longer than they needed to be. Idk, writing a first season of a show is probably hard so I get it, just something that bugged me in a "I see so much potential, it just needed a little more tweaking" way.

As a fan of the og movie too, it was cute to see the little nods they made to it throughout the show. I kept having to explain them to my wife cuz she hasn't seen it lol (like when they started singing in the last episode my wife was like "...what is happening" lmaoo)

I think those are my main points. Anyway I enjoyed it and I'm sad it's over. Mwah I love you lesbian baseball show, I wish you had lasted longer so I could find out if my conspiracy was right. The end.

[pettypuppy-jonghyun]

Sad Movies | Bang Chan

Summary: you get emotional over fictional characters, bf!Channie does not

Notes: fluffy, mention of sad movies but not in description

Warnings: idk what this is I just hurriedly finished an old draft😓

Chan straightens up when he hears a soft whimper throughout the house. He turns his head slightly to listen again, pausing any other movements. When he confirms his thoughts, he starts to walk to where he thinks the crying is coming from.

He knocks quietly on your shared bedroom door. "Sweetheart?"

You tell him to come in through your sobs. You knew why he was there, checking up on you. You were crying so hard it would be weird if he didn't come at the sound. But you couldn't help it. Not when the show you were watching killed off such a good character.

"What's wrong, baby?" His eyes were full of worry as he entered the room, immediately crawling on the bed to get to you.

You lean into his arms as they wrap around you for protection. "The show! They killed him, Channie. Just killed him off!"

Chan pauses for a second, changing his focus to the tv. Then he lets out a breath of relief and squeezes you tighter. "You're crying over the show?"

Smacking his shoulder, you pushed back from him. "Yes I'm crying over a show! It's sad, dude. Very sad."

Your boyfriend nods in agreement, recognizing the show as something you both watched when it first aired. It had been quite some time since he'd seen it, although he knew this was a rewatch for you. Still, he was quite aware of your emotional connection to fictional characters, regardless of how many times you've seen it play out. You know the character dies and it still hurts you.

"Honey, can you warn me when you watch something like this again? I need to know when to be concerned."

Chan hadn't meant for it to sound as harsh as it did, truthfully. He wanted you to feel a little guilty for making his heart race with worry, hearing you cry so hard. Instead, he made you push him away in annoyance.

"I'll have you know, Sir Bang Chan, that this is concerning that you have never once cried to this show, let alone any show!" You scooted to the far edge of your bed, moving to place pillows in between him and you as a barrier.

His eyebrows raised at your action. Instead of fighting, he nods momentarily while raising his hands in surrender. Chan watches as you turn back to the television, reaching blindly for a tissue and bringing it straight up to your nose for a harsh blow. He cringes softly and begins to back away and off the bed.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he laughs lightly, heading towards the bedroom door to escape.

You began to sigh heavily as the show continued, the scene of your favorite character's death playing over again as a next episode recap. Instead of skipping it, like you should have, you watched it over as you felt your frustration pent up. Chan would never understand how devastating it was to watch the people on the show cry so desperately in hopes to have their loved one back in their arms.

"You just don't have a heart!" You suddenly say to your boyfriend, catching his attention again. "Anyone with emotions would cry at this tragedy. They didn't even need to kill him!"

Chan felt the challenge that came with those words. His head tilted to the side as he narrowed his eyes, slowly turning to meet your gaze. "I think I have more emotions than you."

You shook your head defiantly, wiping the tears away with more tissues. "Not a chance. Only psychopaths don't cry at sad movies." You paused for a moment, thinking about your words. "I'm sure you didn't cry for the 'Bridge to Terabithia' movie, or maybe even 'Big Daddy's couldn't make you cry."

He eased himself back onto the bed on the opposite side of your pillow barrier. "Well maybe I would if I had ever seen those."

You gasped at the new information. "What?! Never seen them? Were you born under a rock?!"

Chan picked up a pillow, tossing it at your face in an attempt to quiet you. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

You say up on your knees, completely ignoring your show as you turned to face your lover completely. "Okay so what about A walk to remember'?" At the shake of his head you continued to list," 'The Notebook', 'A Werewolf Boy', 'Always'?"

You stared at him in shock, listing both American and Korean movies with no luck. If only you knew popular Australian movies, maybe that would make a difference.

You hesitated to offer one last sad movie, " 'Marley and me'?"

Chan jumped, pointing a finger towards you. "Oooh, yes! That one. I've seen that one, it's actually a really sad movie."

Finally finding a common movie, you looked at him expectantly. "So? Did you cry?"

He shook his head. "No."

You sighed, throwing yourself back onto the bed in defeat. You were right after all: only psychopaths don't cry at sad movies. You could never watch 'Marley and me' without bawling your eyes out. In fact, you had only seen it one other time because of it. Sure, some people had a range of emotional strength when it came to sad movies, but there's a limit.

"You're just plain heartless," you muttered beneath your hands that covered your face.

Chan giggled beside you, maneuvering so he hovered directly above you. He gently pried away your hands, smiling brightly at your distressed expressions. "I cry when it comes to you," he reasoned thoughtfully. "Everything about you is so beautiful and perfect I can't help but tear up sometimes."

You rolled your eyes at his flirting. "Not the same, Christopher."

He laughed loudly, leaning down to peck your lips. "Alright you got me, I'm a cold hearted animal. Just please, for the love of everything living in this world, tell me when you're wanting to upset yourself by rewatching sad things."

You watched as he began to leave the bedroom again. "I know you can't be human if you didn't cry at Highschool Musical whenever Gabriella left Troy-"

"Now that!" Chan pauses in his steps, turning to point a finger at you again. "That I cried to. Every time."

[skrill999]

I just finished the first season of Transformers prime. And overall I liked it.

The human characters are fine. I don't hate them but I am not too invested in their story. (But you would not believe how much I said to tue TV "No... Mikko... don't do it...") but some of their shenanigans are rather funny

As for the cybertronians. I like them a surprising ammount.

Starscream:

I mostly prefer starscream more higher pitched voice but I do like what Steve Blum does (also I kept hearing heatwave)

As for his character he is a wet cat which keeps running out into the rain crying, not quite sure why he's so wet. Like he has my sympathy from the abuse he goes through under Megatron (to be fair Starscream did try to kill Megatron on multiple occasions) but a lot of it was his own doing. He keeps getting in his own way.

There is a curious moment that stands out to me: in the episode where breakdown was captured by humans, the autobots try to rescue him because they thought decepticons wouldn't and Megatron didn't want to but Starscream did try. (They couldn't have known Autobots were there before leaving base)

Now I won't go so far as to say that this means Starscream cares for Breakdown. At first I was thinking he probably needed him for a plan of his but so far I have no clue what that would be so it really left me wondering why.

With Starscream defected from the decepticons and hiding I am curious to see what future awaits him in the upcoming season

Soundwave:

Soundwave is my favourite deception and in this show that is no different. He's still super cool. He's quiet loyal and no one messes with him. I liked it when he beat Airachnid (who definitely underestimated him)

Also Laserbeak is also super dope

Breakdown:

A surprise entry for me. He was actually quite interesting. At first I thought nothing of him then the episode where he's captured by the humans came. I am not surprised he sided with the decepticons but I could tell Bulkhead coming to rescue him did shake his perspective. He might come to see how ridiculous this all is. Maybe

The rest are fine and so their job well

Now some Autobots:

Optimus Prime:

He is my favourite autobot no question(idk about charcter as he would be facing Soundwave). Peter Cullen nailed it as always. The sword and gun arms are very cool.

His very strict no nonsense demeanor does work well with the dynamics of others and he does clearly care a lot about his team and the humans living on earth.

Though he might be a bit too eager at playing martyr for everyone else to escape.(I don't remember specific examples but that's my understanding)

(This is not a critique on his character just really amuses me)

Him losing his memory is definitely not good for the autobots but let's see how that plays out.

Bumblebee:

He is very cute. Love his eyes, face shape and voice. Also he really seems to look up to Optimus and Optimus seems to have a soft spot for him. I remember the last scene where Optimus looks back at him.

Him and Raf are buddies, chill to play racing games together and it is cute. Also he seems to be the youngest of the cybertronians.

Ratchet:

Another surprise entry. I certainly enjoyed his presence on screen. His banter with everyone was rather funny.

An episode that stood out with him is the one with fake energon. He did go a little nuts with the fake energon but I did like that his reasoning in general wasn't just nonsense but based in the truth and his own feelings that he might not have been expressing. (He was definitely being hot headed though)

Again the others were fine but their stories didn't stand out to me too much.

I did like the episodic nature of the show. The little shenanigans of the show were very funny and enjoyable to see. I liked the racing episode.

Also another funny note: this show reminded me of tmnt 2012 (another favorite childhood show of mine) in that there are no people. In tmnt 2012 New York had like 5 people at a time. This show took place in Reno Nevada and while we only really saw a school, there was like no one at the school.

I know why it's like that but still it quite funny to me.

[theredponcho]

I finally finished watching all 7 seasons of 2003 tmnt. I like the series as a whole and it might be my favorite iteration now but idk I might have to rewatch it again. Story wise I think its my favorite iteration. If were talking animation and comedy then rottmnt is my favorite.

Spoilers under the keep reading ⬇️

My favorite turtle in this iteration has to be Donnie. He was really intresting and I liked his personality a lot. It could also be that Im bias in my opinion since before I watched the series I was reading the fic Ghost in a Shell which was also one of the reasons why I decided to binge watch the series in the first place so who knows.

The shredder reminded me a lot of william afton from fnaf since…He always comes back. I swear they did everything to that guy and he just kept coming back. Decapitation, drowning/fire damage, electricution, and dragons??? Don't even get me started on stockman. It gave me flash backs to 2012 splinter. But 2012 splinter didn’t dye more so was assumed dead except for the ending and that one time in the space arc. I could go on a whole tangent talking about 2012 tmnt but we would be here all day. Maybe I’ll make a post on my thoughts on that if I feel like it.

I wish we could have seen more of cyberspace and learned more about how the future worked. I also would have liked to see more of professor honey cut he was cool.

I still have questions that were left unanswered mostly about the last season.

Did Serlion the future robot ever make it back to the future. I assumed he did eventually since it would probably screw up the time line or be very dark if he did end up staying in the present. Plus it would add a lot of plot holes.

What was that 3V3 shredder fight all about? During the begging of season 7 went viral was messing around with the time portal and sending the guys to different points in the past we saw a moment were 3 or 4 shredders were fighting each other along with a lot of foot clan members and I assumed that we would see this near the end of the season and this was just for shadowing what was gonna come and be the final epic fight because brain wash guy was their and the next episode after that we actually get to formally meet brain wash guy and we met a shredder that was basically resserected and they still needed to make a time portal which leaves room for more shredders to make a appearance. Idk maybe they just ran out of time and couldn’t do it so they just ended on the wedding and killed cyber shredder early or something.

Who in there right mind decide to change the turtles eyes and give them pupils in season 7? Im not mad I’m just disappointed. I didn’t mind the art style change in season 6. Sure it took some getting use to but I was able to get use to it after a while and find things I liked about it but I never really got over the pupils thing.

Is the shredder actually dead? The main core/program of the shredder is still tenically in cyberspace it wasn’t deleted (as far as im awear) so does that mean the shredder could still come back if he wanted to?

I would like to end this post on a cute picture of the guys if you read this far thank you. ❤️

[fantasticalleigh]

season 3 part one thoughts:

ok ok i did finish B S3 pt. I and it's GOOD and i was really happy with it but now that my pulse has gone back to normal i'm realizing i have a lot of nitpicks/concerns with the storytelling but ngl the carriage scene was fucking BONKERS and my mind will be in the gutter for the rest of the weekend

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!! bc i have a ton of thoughts on season 3 so far and have to get them out:

THOUGHTS:::::

-i could not stop smiling. my face hurts still.

-i don't get people whining about colin and the threesome. when the brothel threesome scene was leaked people were losing their goddamn minds about colin not being a virgin on reddit. y'all. he spent a LONG time traveling solo around europe--did you really expect him not to experiment the entire time? the fixation on this was kinda weird i gotta say. also i really liked that in the second brothel instance it served as growth to show colin was realizing it wasn't those women he wanted to have sex with, but penelope.

it seems every bridgerton lad needs a whoring about subplot in their respective season and colin was obviously going to get one if his elder brothers did, so i wasn't surprised at all. i thought the scenes were hot, personally. overconfident and super flirty col galavanting everywhere suddenly being reduced to a pining, thirsty af insecure boy was so gratifying to watch and those scenes had a hand in showing us that.

-i hate portia's costumes this season. hate. hate. hate. she looks like she was ripped right out of DIsney's Descendants set from the costume rejects pile. woof. she was stunning in s1 but s2 were her best looks and now she looks awful. why???

-i think the mondriches are ok and i like them but their story did not need expanding here. i'm happy for them but that storyline was boring and time taken away from more important characters. i know this sounds harsh but this season was already packed with storylines. across these four episodes there was a severe lack of Lady Danbury. one of my favorite aspects of Romancing Mr. Bridgerton was her friendship/mentorship with Penelope. that instantly made her one of my favorite characters. why not keep that in the show??? i'm so disappointed but with part 2 yet unreleased maybe it will still come?

-speaking of lady danbury, something about the way her brother is presented and how she treats him makes me worry for Violet, that he might disappoint her later. idk it's just a vibe i get.

-Luke's acting is fucking incredible. all the microexpressions and the lingering stares and subtle movements. nicola is a great actor in her own right but fucking hell, every time Luke teared up on screen I was mirroring him.

the carriage scene, when he's on his knees in front of Pen and she cups the side of his head and his eyes do THAT thing and the look he gives her? i rewatched that two second bit on repeat for a minute. amazing. (that's exactly the kind of devotion i picture when I wrote dark Dramione in TEOAL towards the end)

-we get it, benedict is a slut. he fucks. i'm over it. i'm not interested in who he's fucking. i know the consensus is Lady Tilley will somehow tie in to Sophie but i just do not care about Benedict rn. he is pulling focus.

-hyacinth's actress is so stunning! all the actors are obvs but every time i look at her i see Brooke Shields. anyone else?

-i had higher hopes for Lord Debling. genuinely kind of disappointed. he's boring and feels fickle. also the abruptness of him going 'i need a wife to tend to my estate so i can go travel for 3 years so be warned that i can't love you' to 'you have feelings for another man? i'm done-zo.' like what. you just said you can't love her and will never be at home with her but it's a fucking problem that she likes someone else? even though she's is clearly willing to get over it by marrying you??? bro. bro.

-hate what they did with Colin's hair for most of his scenes. why flatten it all out and take out the adorable curls he had in the first episode????????????????? episode one hairstyle was god-tier. everything after that makes him look like he's wearing a bad and stiff wig. still hot tho. also on the hair note: please stop giving eloise bangs. please.

-people on reddit were near to rioting when they learned Kanthony was only in the first ep due to leaks. i was bummed but ultimately don't mind it. did we deserve to see more of them thanks to how badly s2 was handled?? absolutely. but if it's only sex scenes bc they're now trying for babies then i'm good for now. also glad that edwina and mary don't come back bc ngl they pissed me tf off in s2 thanks to how badly they were written. plus like i said, this season has FAR too many subplots to keep them in. the writers really should have trimmed things down. violet meeting Lady D's brother was also not necessary imo.

-i went from loathing cressida to actively sympathizing and rooting for her to snatch up debling in the latter half. well done, writers.

-all the featherington scenes were gold. pru and phillipa are incredible when in scenes together and i'm so glad we got more of that. albion finch is a treasure, too. i really think they should have spent more time on penelope and her mother's relationship bc it's a big part of the book with how portia assigned pen to be her caretaker for when she got old and that being pen's burden/reason to want to bug out and marry rather than stay with her abusive mother, not her sisters' heirs taking charge of the house. they leaned too much into the comedy with the featheringtons and forgot to remind us why penelope is so miserable at home too--the problem stems from her mother, too, not only her sisters. we got two tiny clips of that and that was it. not enough to really establish that. the featheringtons are funny yes but they are not good people (sans Pen). Portia is neglectful and rude and dismissive toward Pen and there is not enough of that so far.

-i haven't read fran's book yet so had no idea what to expect and thought i'd be bored. she is adorable and i'm rooting for her. i like john better than the other guy. but i'm not that invested in her plot. i have no true emotional attachment to her. she needed her own season or to be pushed back to s4.

-still don't like eloise but i'm warming to her. a third season straight of her being condescending to almost everyone outside of her family/friends does nothing to endear her to me. she still blames Whistledown for "ruining" her when she ruined herself by ignoring everyone's warnings and running around town doing socially unacceptable things. she still has a right to be upset with Whistledown/Pen but she needs to take accountability for her own shit. but her understanding and patience with cressida was really surprising and i liked that a lot so far. i can see why people are shipping them now!

-HOW HAVE PENELOPE AND COLIN NOT EVEN DANCED ONCE YET WHAT THE FUCK jk i'm sure we'll obvs get that in part 2 but i'm so accustomed to them having a dance in one of the first few episodes that this truly threw me.

-colin's wet dream. loved it. ngl i was fully expecting a masturbation scene in his bed and not only bc i wrote one into my fic lmao

-i fucking called it from the start that the first kiss would be in the featherington garden based off that screengrab. everything about it screamed romeo+juliet. that was my favorite scene so far it was so beautifully shot and the way he goes for the lightest kiss at first and then hesitates and then GOES BACK FOR MORE???? when he realizes he's super into it???? i collapsed. i fucking squee'd like it was 2003.

-i've been complaining on reddit that the makeup in the promos was fucking awful and way too heavy. it comes across much lighter in the final product/show and i'm so relieved because i was truly worried about that. nicola is a stunning stunning woman and i can't help but admire her every time she is on screen and the awful makeup they put on her for those promos were overtaking her face.

-two major changes i truly appreciate (bc i'm normally very critical about shondaland's writing)

1: the journal scene. i loved that colin had pen hide in his study. i really wanted them to get caught there. i love that the journal fight wasn't as huge as it was in the book because the book made it go on for too long and colin was unreasonably mad about it. i'm so glad it was a minor thing here and that they still showed that colin was really pleased when pen praised his writing and he said he'd consider letting her read more and left it at that.

2: the carriage proposal. my biggest issue with the book bc colin was borderline abusive when he pulled her out of the carriage and made her fall. hated that so i'm glad here he was pleased and still mischievous and held out his hand for her and proposed and wasn't rude and impatient like he was in the book. also the carriage scene was hot as hell and i did not fucking expect colin to fucking finger her right then and there with the goddamned WINDOWS OPEN. tbh i was expecting boob action like in the book but that was a surprising change.

-pacing. too many storylines makes for a too-quickly paced episode. i feel like we were catapulted into everything and my head was spinning. this is a show that, because it insists on such a large fucking cast, would immensely benefit from a 12 or even 20 episode run rather than eight. but we know netflix is a cheap bitch so that will never happen and shows this dense suffer for it.

-music. i do not care about covers. i just don't. it makes no difference to me who is added to the soundtrack or the easter egg hunt of finding which song was used in which scene. the original scores made for the show are beautiful on their own and don't distract like the covers do and that's all i'll say.

-already seeing reviews online from people complaining polin have no chemistry??? idk what show they're watching but it ain't this one. this has been a slow slow buildup and if you can't feel their chemistry then idk what to tell you bc it is there. (and this is gonna be a hot take and unpopular opinion but personally out of all the main couples so far i found daphne and simon's chemistry to feel really forced and kind of cringey so take my opinion as you will but pen and colin have LEAGUES more chemistry as friends to lovers here)

BUT: one could also blame this on the awful pacing of these first four episodes so far. it really would have been nice to have more filler time of col and pen doing the flirting lessons since that was cut too short too soon.

phew--.

i will most definitely have more to say later on but these are my immediate thoughts and i had to get them all down . if you got this far down then bless you and thanks for listening and lmk your thoughts! i'm dying to talk about this.

[zoe-oneesama]

Congrats on finishing the penultimate final episode of SL’s Season 5!!! And now for the season finale: What do you think of Audrey, her akuma, and Style Queen’s plot once you rewatch the episode?

The episode is...fine? On it's own? Like, I kinda just like it.

Well, as a character intro, it's pretty perfect. You know everything about Audrey in so little time:

Style Queen Magazine Fashion Critic

Harshest Fashion Critic in the World

Fires People at the Drop of the Hat, even the ones who don't work for her

Chloe mimics all her mannerisms and phrases -> Chloe sees Audrey as a role model to emulate -> Audrey is adult Chloe

Audrey sees no value in remaining in Paris despite her whole ass family living there -> Audrey doesn't give a single fuck about her family

Reinforced by her getting her husband and own daughter's names incorrect several times (she calls her CASSEROLE at one point!) though at least she has the good grace to look embarrassed for a second when she does and at least she corrects herself with the correct name.

She sure does get Gabriel's name right though, suggesting she holds him in better (or at least higher) regard than her own family. Maybe this is where Chloe got her Bourgeois Family Rule No. 148: You Need a Guy Best Friend to "Wrap Around Your Finger". This also suggests that her career ties are more important to her than her family ties.

Also it's interesting that she remembers Marinette's name when it comes up again...

In the two minutes they have Audrey talking in the opening, you know everything about her, and all signs point to her being a total asshole. And we all thought it was just Andre spoiling Chloe rotten that made her that way...

So I guess I'll just go chronologically for the set up to the akuma:

Liked: Marinette's imposter syndrome was depicted very well and is in line with her character. This was a pretty good use of Marinette's anxiety for the sake of exposition - her being tightly wound and going over her hat again and again so many times it makes her late, late enough to catch Audrey arriving so she can panic over that, and her getting to hear Audrey's interview with Nadja and panicking over that. All this set up helps the audience realize there's actually a stake here, since theoretically Audrey's opinion could make or break Marinette's dreams of being a designer.

Liked: Chloe trying to insult Marinette but ends up just doing a speed-run intro, pointing her out as a designer to Audrey and even showing off the detailing of her stitched signature. Maybe if Chloe hadn't gone out of her way to point these things out, Audrey wouldn't have taken an interest in Marinette in the first place, lol. Though obviously you'd only know that if you also watch "Queen Wasp".

Liked: This teeny tiny hint that Adrien isn't that into modeling, or at least not into modeling his dad's clothes, since he bemoans that he feels awkward. I liked that Adrien saw right through Marinette's imposter syndrome moment and actually cheered her up, and I like that Marinette complimenting his strut got him out of his funk in return without her even realizing it.

Liked: Oh c'mon we all liked it when Nathalie put Audrey in her place. It would be the dead pan snarky one that reminds Audrey that she doesn't work for her. The fact that Nathalie even smiles at Marinette when she presents the now vacant seat just sealed in that, on top of it being deliberate for Gabriel's plan, Nathalie enjoyed it. And so did I, Nathalie.

God, please don't look directly at me.

I'll stop going chronologically here. The akuma is pretty good, though just like Audrey herself, better at a distance (her faaaaace, what is happening?!) and idk the back of her head is crazy. I think they were going for a Statue of Liberty Crown shape with her hair, but the back is just...cut off and flat.

At least now I know where she kept the rose...?

As far as the fight goes, it's just Ladybug getting her ass beat even AFTER figuring out a way to slow Style Queen down with just her Lucky Charm, so I guess this IS Hawkmoth's "masterpiece". Though that does make her being so easily beaten in "Optygami" kinda weak. I guess all Ladybug really needed was help.

And obviously we were all robbed of Bee!Alya.

And obviously Plagg was MVP.

Chloe was also pretty good in this episode (in the way I think she's good, as a complete brat). She would bluff her way into signing up to be her mom's assistant, and while it was momentarily sweet of her to be worried about Adrien, you can still tell she's her asshole self when she starts down the stairs with her mom and talking about how AWESOME THEIR TEAM-UP WAS.

I know she was just leading up to suggesting she go to New York to be with her mother, but going on about how GREAT it was to "fire incompetents" together kinda puts into question just how much you were bluffing there, Chlo.

And of course Audrey calls the idea of Chloe going to New York with her ridiculous, but follows it up with "first I need to get back to Gabriel's fashion show", so there's a few ways to interpret that.

Is the idea of taking Chloe with her at all ridiculous?

Or Is it ridiculous to take Chloe to New York right now because the Fashion Show is still on? As in, that's not the order of things, or it's ridiculous because Audrey's not even going back to New York right away?

If it were any other character, I'd say she obviously meant the idea of Chloe going with her at all, but it's Audrey. Petty, career focused, only looking two steps ahead Audrey.

Then again, I'm probably just trying to make this more difficult and deeper than it is. It's probably just the former, she rejected Chloe flat out, especially when we know what's coming in "Queen Wasp". Idk who I'm defending here, it's a lost cause.

I guess what I'm getting at is that Audrey is fascinating as a character study in all these little ways that I'm not fully sure the show intended. Like her looking guilty when she screws up Chloe's name, even as an akuma. Or instead of listing the reasons why Chloe going to New York is ridiculous by tearing Chloe down, she instead is pointing out that they have somewhere else to be first. Where she comes across as not so much trying to be intentionally malicious but instead thoughtlessly cruel.

Don't get it twisted, though, she's still an asshole.

[strawberrysugasoba]

update i am on 100.5 and i personally don’t think i’d be able to handle going through all this shit in 2018. just could not be me, i would be unhinged, feral, rip me out the cage- 100.5?! are we serious right now. to leave on that note with that weird ass episode, it’s a mid season break- who posts on a mid season break? that’s when you update your socials but genuinely these guys go crazy. rustyquillgamingpodcast i am coming for you. when i find friends who are committed to letting their freak fly and role play i will be you. can’t want to listen and fall asleep to that but i can’t because i still have to finish tma. do not get me wrong i love love love the special, but i would loose it in 2018!! and the winners of the rusty fear’s competition congrats those stories were scrumdilyisous i love that, but what is going on at the archives guys :0! i have so many thoughts on that as well because so much has happened, and i came in so blind.

i literally had no clue, not even an inkling as to what tma was about except for some pinterest meme mentionings when i was in a deep welcome to nightvale phase. since then i’ve tried to keep spoilers to a minimum but i love drawing so i was looking for inspo on pinterest.

does tim get better? is he cured of his contain of being an asshole? i thought they were all friends before (kind sorta) all that weird shit was going on which makes me also wonder why jon’s always dogging on martin. aren’t those two supposed to be in love, don’t they confess and get married in the institute and have freak babies? idk what’s going on with them. but sasha is really just dead, and the two sasha thing only lasted a season? i felt like it would have ate to draw that out more. and then elias is hot, i love psychopaths (not really, maybe, this is just jokes!!), yes you slay that man with a pipe. trap innocent people into being a part of your cult. serve cunt and don’t get your hands dirty, i love you. and jon, please get it tf together. i thought we were much stronger than this. i held out hope you’d be chill and just rolled with the punches but you’re a pussy jon. jon you’re a pussy and i need you doing more statements because martin is too pathetic at the end! i do love martin though, you stand up for your potential love interest and say fuck you to dickhead (the most sensible guy around) tim. lastly what is with all the jurgen leitner hate? i love him, he just wanted experience shit bro let the man live. i used to make potions in my bathroom so if you want to play pretend monster and have a book collection go ahead. like my guy is chill asf.

i feel like i’ve ranted enough but i feel bad for the people who experienced this as it was coming out. y’all would have had to lock me up!!

[coldbam]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

ahhhh thank you for sending this!

my home is your body - buddie hook up summer turned fwb fic. this is still the longest fic i've written to date (only 16k but thats is so much for me!!!!) and I'm so so proud of myself for finishing it. When i had this idea I really thought it would be too much for me, both because it would require a lot more length than my previous idea but also bc it needed switching POV and i had noooooo idea if I could pull it off. but i did!! I think it's really good!!

i'll come round, i'll come out - where eddie comes out to various characters not buck. I loveeeee this one bc i desperately wanted to play around with different dynamics. and the eddie&athena section specifally is maybe what i'm most proud of, it was just really really fun to write.

wanna do a bad thing twice - buck cheats on tommy with eddies new boy best friend. this is MAYBE my favourite idea i've had, i had a fucking BLAST writing this. I just love doing a little twist on a story, and this one i think worked out really well!!

want you in my room - one of my first fics that i will still completely stand by! short and sweet but exactly what i wanted out of it.

indecent proposal - proposal fic that ends without an engagment, idk i just am once again tickled by my own ideas which is obnoxious but!! i have fun. this was just really sickly sweet to write like my most "they are disgustinly in love" indulgence.

(can i do a bonus??? hold me tight -i just really love as a little missing scene fic that i cranked out after the episode and i BELIEVE i was the first one to write it, which still shocks me)

[ilovepannacotta]

Manga def gave me a much higher appreciation of Izumi than brotherhood did because like? watching brotherhood and she showed back up again after a long time and I remember being like “I feel like this is supposed to be more important than this is coming off as, but I guess it’s nice to see you again Izumi??” Although I was definitely always on the lookout for when ling would finally pop back up. I declared him my fave the literal episode before he became greed so I was Starved for a while 😭

03 though… I’m not a hater of 03, I can appreciate what they did and how they did it with what little they had to go on at the time, but it’s just not the right vibes for me to sit down and watch (and not just because ling isn’t in it). I did read a synopsis of the story though, and it definitely did some things very interestingly and I kind of find it like some fascinating case study!! A sort of darkest timeline case study. I probably would’ve had a deeper appreciation for Izumi if I had watched 03, but I also think it was Foolish of studio bones to just assume people who were watching brotherhood watched 03 or wanted to watch 03.

First, I want to apologize for the late reply 😔

I completely agree with you. Izumi in Brotherhood feels just...not important??? I mean, I love that woman but they did a terrible job trying to make her relationship with the Elric Brothers some kind of found family idk how to explain it, maybe I need to finish my re-watch but I think they could do more with them because it is really sad how distant they are in Brotherhood compared with fma03 or the manga as you said. AND YESS I was like you, reaching for more a more of Ling's scenes and they give me ✨ nothing ✨ after the GreedLing introduction.

Fun fact: I hated Ling the exact moment the appeared on screen for the first time, but then when he fought with Bradley I was like "Oh man, he is such a great character!!!" AND BOM, GREED TOOK HIS BODY AND DISAPPEARED?!!!

And about fma03, I understand you. I mean, I prefer the original plot, the characters in the mangahood (Ling and Van Hohenheim) and I prefer the homunculi and Father as villains than Dante. I watched first 2003 because I thought Brotherhood was a second season and when I started it I was so f confused. I like to think that fma2003 is a what if or an AU fic, so I can enjoy both of them (or three counting the manga). But yeah, there are some things that they included in fma03 but were removed in Brotherhood and I don't understand why they thought it was a good idea.

[mylittleredgirl]

Hi! I'm so excited you're finally watching MASH! I hope you enjoy it and I selfishly hope you grow to like Margaret who starts off as not great and then becomes great and my fav.

i am having a great time!! i started at the beginning of season one and just finished season two. some of the discs in the complete series set i got as a gift last year don't play right or cut out mid-episode, which is driving me a little nuts, but i guess i'm having the classic syndicated tv experience of randomly missing stuff and always having some episode i've never seen floating out there forever.

my long form thoughts so far for those interested:

it's such a great collection of characters for comedy, because they are all pathetic and terrible in their own unique way, but are so charming and funny and easy to watch while they commit their little crimes against common sense.

i really like the mix of episodes -- the We're Having A Caper episodes and then the ones where it's like we're just kind of living here and things happen in some kind of order, but the things aren't necessarily related, which feels very appropriate for the setting.

i'm watching without the laugh track, which highlights one of my favorite things, which is that the main and background characters laugh out loud at what's happening. it gives the show such a lived-in and messy feeling. i just came off of watching the good place 5 times in a row, where the dialogue and plot are especially tightly packed, so this feels especially like it has a lot of just hanging out.

i keep thinking about how i'm watching this show fifty years later, not knowing what is the 70s lampooning itself, what is the 70s lampooning the 50s, and what is actually being played straight but i assume is a joke because of my perspective. some scenes are hard to watch on purpose and some are hard to watch by accident.

i wish i were watching it with my dad so he could keep pausing it to explain things to me, even if they don't need explaining, because i think that would add to the experience.

character feelings after two seasons:

hawkeye: alan alda being so charming and having such great timing really makes this an easy get. of course i'm going to love him equally in both success and failure (mostly failure).

trapper: my bestie!!! there's something about his face that makes me feel like i know him personally. i just love his physical acting choices. it's always funny. my fave i think.

margaret: i definitely enjoy her!!! how can you not?? they introduce her as being both highly capable and The Sexiest American Woman In Korea, who either can have or has had every high ranking officer in the army, and then she's soooo horny for the most pathetic man alive that she can't function.

frank: the narrative requires him to suck sooooo much every minute of every episode, because everyone else also sucks, so he really needs to put his back into it. he's gotta be there and he does it well, idk what more to say.

henry: he fascinated me in season one because i was like... clearly he's supposed to be A Caricature, but i couldn't figure out which one, and then he turned out to be A Character instead. i love his complexity and his serious moments, but i don't tend to find drunk acting that funny, so a lot of his shtick is lost on me. i wonder if he's the only character (and maybe klinger?) where the laugh track would actually serve him.

radar: as a former assistant yeah bro i get it, you keep on keeping on.

father mulcahey: the only one who is not terrible at all so far even once. Protect Him. i am so happy every time he comes on screen.

klinger: i'm still warming up to him as a character since he's mostly a sight gag still.

the parade of nurses: i have decided to take it at face value that 1) they are all here at war because they're super horny, 2) they are playing hard to get for fun, and 3) the pill was somehow invented before 1950, and under those conditions GET IT GIRLSSSSS.

my largest outstanding question: were they all actually functioning people before the war? i assume war did this to them but it's also possible they were like this before and their wives are all like THANK GOD they're overseas cheating on me because imagine how much worse it would be if they were like this but in my house.

on to season three!!!