#mst3k stills

[rhetthammersmithhorror]

MST3K 904 | Werewolf | 1998

[fleetn-crab85]

Heavenly Light Joel was not on my MST3K bingo card…

[sadhornydemons]

Incorrect Quotes Only

"What do you mean, you can't deliver a pizza to a dumpster?!"

"So I got all dressed up for the Ozzy Osbourne show, and GUESS what it was instead?"

"You're watching Hell-a-Novela? FUCK! I forgot that was on tonight!"

"Loonie, can you be a dear and pretend to be daddy's date for tonight?...What to you mean, 'I couldn't have phrased that more creepy'?!"

"Moxxie, I need new pants."

"So, Stolas...you down to help me stalk my employees for the night?...You are? Huh...You also stalk your employees occasionally?...Yeah...Well, sometimes record mine while I'm watching...Sure, we can watch it later!"

"Sorry, I just realized bags of garbage are more comfortable than my couch and needed to vent...I don't care if 'This is Wendy's!'...Well, fine, put that BITCH WENDY on the phone then!"

"The 'Burger King', glad I could reach you, I hope you're more patient than that red headed burger skank."

[taliesin-the-bored]

This may be the greatest Wikipedia page I’ve ever encountered.

First, there’s the content. This is from the page on Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders, a movie which is probably best known as the last episode of the original Mystery Science Theater 3000 to air. The synopsis is enough to make this a distinctive page. After all, it’s not in every film that a lady suddenly gets both freedom from her jerk husband and the baby she always wanted when he accidentally turns himself into a baby using dark magic.

Then there are the links. In addition to the clearly relevant links to “Merlin”, “Ernest Borgnine”, and “The Monkey” by Stephen King, there are links on “benign”, “infancy”, “birthday”, “cat”, “goldfish”, “dog”, “car”, “storm”, etc. “{C}ymbal-banging monkey toy” is divided into two links: “cymbal-banging monkey” directs to “cymbal-banging monkey toy” and “toy” directs to “toy”.

Whoever wrote it had a sense of humor: the part describing the ending, when Merlin “suddenly appears” to save the day, directs to “Deus ex machina”.

Long live obscure Wikipedia pages and terrible movies.

[mabelsguidetolife]

i like how in the (original) joel era of mst3k the bots hate dressing up and complain about it but when the mike era rolled around they warmed up to it to the point where you look away for one second and when you look back they’re all in fruity little outfits enjoying themselves to their hearts’ content

[snootdragonewt]

wanted to challenge myself a bit 👀

[t3tr0m1n0]

mst3k au where joel is still some guy (just like you or me) working as a janitor at gizmonic inst. only on one of his very normal days he bumps into the wrong unassuming thing and turns the corner to find three normal (?) human (??) teenagers (??? well they're all rather short & immature so that has to count for something) who shouldn't reasonably be up to anything around here but who is he to question it & it takes like 5 minutes of interacting with them for him to start calling them "kids", like, collectively but in the 2nd person, and also decide he's taking them home with him. they don't even have names for themselves what's up with that. day 2 he comes back to the same place just to make sure he's not blowing anything up and/or getting fired for this and meets one more slightly inexplicable human person hanging around the dust who does come with a name of their own, it's cam, and they're coming home with him too to make sure the kids don't blow anything up either. cool. day 3 they've figured out how an answering machine works and now every time he leaves work his voicemail is filled to the brim with complaints about the choice of films available in his home theater, which, like, c'mon, being a janitor only pays so well. he's also no longer thinking of them as "the kids" and instead as "his kids". joel is incredibly normal about all this.

[beezelbubbles]

Okay I have Mithraeum questions. Harrow's bathtub exploded. Did she get a new one? Did she just make one out of bone? I know there wasn't much water in it at the time but was there then some water damage?

Who does maintenance? There are no servants or staff. Are the lyctors in charge of that? Or do they bring in a crew once in a while? Like the training room also got pretty well exploded, as did the incinerator. So... who's gonna deal with that? Related, who does the dishes? Did Mercymorn make up a chore chart? I bet she did and Augustine, G1deon, and Jod all swap jobs and ignore it and generally are the asses they are. So she passive aggressively updates it and posts it in increasingly unhinged places with more and more underlines and exclamation points. Is there a laundry room?

Did Harrow and Ianthe have any of their own clothes? Cause it sounds like they didn't come with their own stuff. Or at least not much. Jod knew he had potential new lyctors coming, but didn't clean out Cyrus and Valancy's room. (Not that Ianthe seems to mind.) But okay, if it had been best case scenario (uh depending on who you ask) and he got 8 new lyctors, are there no spare rooms? Because where was he going to put them? We've got 3, so that's 5 empty rooms. Would the Fourth bunk with the Fifth? Let's pretend in this scenario it worked because that was Dulcinea and not Cytherea. Would she and Palamedes go ahead and hook up and share? What was your plan here, John? (There wasn't one. I don't think he expected new lyctors, honestly.)

[oblivioustoast]

one of my formative crushes was crow t. robot and i feel like that explains a lot

[rhetthammersmithhorror]

MST3K 1007 | Track of the Moon Beast | 1999

[whoslaurapalmer]

christmas presents have been wrapped!!! well for my brother (i got him a series of delightful mst3k magnets and one of the sellers even threw in an extra!) and for best friend (i cannot reveal. we follow each other on here). i was late in picking something out for my mom bc she's so damn hard to shop for that when i DID pick something (a very sophisticated only murders in the building sweater that i am very proud of in terms of present selection) it shipped late and won't get here until......literally the day after christmas. SO I'LL JUST HAVE TO WRAP IT THEN

[fedorahead]

i know a lot of people who have this logic behind the scenes, and i get it tbh. we all have different life experiences and expectations. my old roommate was fucking her lifelong best friend and had been since they were kids, she didn't consider it cheating; the problem became when she decided to lie about it to her partner even though they were poly and lying was their boundary of what counted as cheating.

honestly we need a much healthier attitude toward sexuality as a society than we have. this kind of stuff isn't normal or acceptable for some people, but not everyone shares the same values and different people just grow into complex relational situations naturally. in my roommate's case, the two of them had gone through a deeply traumatic childhood together and considered themselves two sides of the same soul.... i don't think there's anything anyone who wasn't there can really criticize about that UNTIL they both decided not to be honest about it with their future partners. even then, our society doesn't provide room for the weirder bonds and that's a problem that contributed to the "cheating" situation.

this kind of stuff, the complex messy human interactions and strange formations of love, is why i'm a relationship anarchist. i love my husband more than anything; i genuinely believe he's my soulmate, but that doesn't mean that some weird shit we don't have a cultural perspective to account for ahead of time won't come up. so we've had many discussions about the difference between my unpredictable passions, his in-the-moment decisionmaking, and lasting bond we have. more specifically, how we know we're both complex people going in and those complexities are a part of our love and only contribute to our compatibility rather than being future risks of conflict.

[plotismade]

I’m enjoying the House MD tumblr revival because I was fucking obsessed with that shit as a young teen. Cool medical shit with characters loosely based on Sherlock Holmes? Hells the fuck yeah…

although I never finished the show because once it became too bizarrely soap-opera I just wasn’t interested (I just constantly read fic instead).

Well I’m going through old notebooks and found these pages from when I was about 14. Haha

[astridellejo]

Kitab - Robot Girl

So where does the desire to become a robot girl come from? Well...

Transcription below the fold:

1. I'm in my Baroness stealth armor (I don't really have Baroness stealth armor, but anything is possible in comics.) and addressing the reader. Me: What kind of weirdo would want to become a robot? Me: Um … me.

2. Artistic rendering of a scene from Superman III when Vera gets assimilated by the supercomputer. Me: The television debut of Superman III happened in the spring of 1986, and there was that scene toward the end… Me: You know the one.

3. Little kid me sits in front of the television and takes in the robot girl visions. Me: I was 11 years old and awash in the hormones of puberty. Young Me: Okay, that's … scary. But also weirdly kinda hot.

4. Little kid me sits in the theater, MST3K silhouette style, looking up at Arcee on the silver screen. Me: Later that summer, Transformers: the Movie hit theaters, and I was introduced to Autobot girl Arcee. Young Me (excited): Girl Transformer!

5. Assimilated Seven of Nine in her Borg alcove, illuminated by the green zappy behind her. Me: Then there was the Borg and their heavy rubber kinky cybernetics. Specifically Seven of Nine.

6. The glossy white Björk-bot from her video for "All Is Full Of Love". Me: Björk's "All Is Full Of Love" video did things to my brain. Me: That was the same year I came out as transgender.

7. Sepia-ish black and white artistic rendering of Maria the robot girl from Fritz Lang's Metropolis. Me: With the help of the early internet, I discovered the original robot girl of cinema, Maria from Metropolis.

8. Speculative glossy white robot me with pink and blue highlights. Me: How cool would it be to be a girl and a robot?! Hmm! Girl Transformer! Arrow Text: Design still in alpha.

9. Back to me again, looking a bit forlorn in my Baroness stealth armor. (Which is still awesome, don't get me wrong!) Me: Sadly, at age 50, I'm still made of meat. Arrow Text Left: Sexy, jet black, body hugging stealth armor Arrow Text Right: doe create a passable robotic look.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

One of the greatest lessons I've ever learned from MST3k is that people will always find a way to make art.

Is it always art I want to see? No. is it art I personally consider good? No. Is it something I would even personally call art? Nope.

But here's what MST3k made clear: There are so many fucking movies that exist because they MATTER to someone. Sometimes only ONE someone, but they cared so fucking much, a piece of art exists.

Is Monster A Go-Go good? Not from any way you could measure it. But is it art made by someone who loved what they were doing? YES. To the point that the script got re-written when after years of trying to finish it, a star went bald, and the writers went, "Okay, well now you're your own brother."

Eraserhead, a b-movie classic, was created on a similar timeframe.

But David Lynch is a fucking master of weird and confusing, and the team behind A Go-Go were not.

But at the end of the day, there's still a movie, goddamnit.

And there are so many "bad" movies that exist because they were made by people who simply loved their art. Ed Wood couldn't cut anything he ever filmed because he loved all that film. Bert I. Gordon had no budget but made his special effects interesting and fun. Russ Meyer loved titties, and he fucking delivered on titties.

Are any of these works a masterclass in film making? No. But a masterclass in love and devotion? Yes.

And, truly, MST3k falls under the same umbrella. A cheap, weird little show that has maintained and grown while keeping its overall sensibility. A love letter to bad movies by ribbing them to a level they deserve. By loving them so much they can't stop ribbing them.

MST3k taught me more about loving art than so many of the things that were meant to teach me about loving art.

[therealgchu]

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