#munch to think about

[munchboxart]

iphone se might be the solution tbh. it's got better internals but has the same dimensions (and home button!) as an iphone 7

DON'T TELL ME THIS AFTER I JUST SAW AN OFFER FOR SAMSUNG A35 5G WITH FREE GALAXY BUDS FE FOR UNDER 20 MONTHLY. It is tempting though, but I am also looking for a good camera so I can take better merch pic's. Though, I am also not a camera nerd so I don't know how big the difference is. I will consider this, thank you very much

[umblrspectrum]

"smaller mass" you say

[kaedeichinose]

augh ive been feeling fucky wucky today i need to chill out about some things

[dipperscavern]

can I be cheeky and ask for riding jon’s face 🫣🫣🫣

yes… oh yes you absolutely can….. i fell asleep last night to the thought of jon snow canonically being a munch (funny enough) — we’re on the same wavelength anon ! (written w shy!reader in mind)

you’ve heard the talk, heard the different ladies from different statures talk about “the act”, and it’s always a different answer. some say it’s mediocre… others, that it’s their favorite way to feel good, and some, say it’s terrible. you’ve heard stories of men never caring about the woman’s pleasure, and how their only purpose was to give them children. the thought made you shudder.

you, yourself, have never had time. time to freely choose who you trust enough to share that sacred experience with (or even touch yourself). the men at castle black are sworn to celibacy, and even if they would abandon their oath for a night with you, you wouldn’t let them. most of the men at the wall are untrustworthy, and you want more than just a quick fuck. even if these thoughts plague you, you’re too busy with your duties to worry about it. a thing you’ve since long accepted.

until jon snow.

you had been there for jon since his arrival at castle black. never batting an eye at his surname, always trying to make his life a little bit easier. there was also the stolen glances, the soft touches you both passed off as “accidental”, the longing for each other. you both remained as merely “close friends”, until things boiled over and you found solace in each others lips. it didn’t go farther than that, the tentative kiss being soft & exploring, and that was okay with you. you didn’t expect more. until you got more.

sometimes, you hate jon for being so easy to talk to. your shy nature has slowly melted away in his presence, and you find yourself unable to be embarrassed about the questions you ask or answer. your late night talks are what keeps jon sane. he wants to know everything about you, and you both would talk till morning if you could (you have before). the topic often shifts, landing on anything and everything on the planet. even “the act”.

imagine jon’s surprise, when the most beautiful & endearing woman he’s ever met drops her gaze to the floor and bashfully tells him she’s never cum before.

jon short circuits. he asks if you want to. he asks if he can make you. and you say yes.

jon snow is a giver. tasting a woman is a pleasure in itself, and he’d tell you as much if you asked. his mind ran a million miles an hour, thinking about all the ways he could make you feel good. it doesn’t take long before the desire to taste you takes a hold of him, and so he does.

“You’re hovering.”

he’s not wrong. you are. you thought you had heard it all, but the act of sitting on someone’s face has clearly alluded your ears. you’re unsure. you don’t want to hurt him.. suffocating the first man you lay with would have you begging the gods to open the ground and swallow you whole. and it’s not just any man, it’s jon.

the soft glide of jon’s fingers across your thigh bring you out of your head. his hands are cold. they feel nice in contrast to your own skin, nerves lit on fire.

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“You won’t.”

“Jon-”

“Do you trust me?”

he’s steadfast in his reassurance. his thumb has been rubbing circles in your hip while you both have been talking. does he do it all on purpose, or is he just this naturally desirable?

“You know I do, but-“

“Good. Sit.”

you still hesitate, and that’s when jon takes matters into his own hands. his hands stop their tracing, and instead grip your thighs, bringing you down himself.

whatever expectations you had are exceeded tenfold. jon eats you out like a man starved. your head spins with the way you can feel his tongue, exploring you and swiping over your clit. it has white hot pleasure shooting up your spine, and your thighs quiver ever so slightly, but jon’s firm grip keeps you in place. he’s confident in his movements, precise and sure in a way that makes you see stars.

jon thinks he’s found the place where he would be content to meet his demise. you taste so good, and the pretty sounds you’re making have blood rushing straight to his cock. jon has always loved the sound of his name on your lips — whether it be small acknowledgments in passing by, or just mentions in mere conversation. but he’s found he much prefers hearing you moan it.

you’re almost embarrassed how quickly he has warmth building up in your belly, pressure building as he gives you the most pleasure you’ve ever had. he’s giving and giving and giving, and you find yourself selfishly taking all of it. he doesn’t slow down, keeping a steady rhythm that makes the cord in your stomach wind impossibly tighter.

“Jon, I’m-!”

you don’t get to finish your sentence, interrupted by the snap of the cord in your stomach that was previously tightening. pleasure overtakes your nerves, flooding your veins and momentarily removing your ability to speak (or think). jon’s tongue doesn’t stop fully, only slowing down to help you ride out your peak.

you catch your breath, feeling jon kiss the inside of your thighs as small aftershocks have you clenching around nothing. you find yourself seeking his touch (as if he hasn’t been constantly on you), your hand running along the surface of your thigh to find his own. he reaches for you, trapping your own smaller hand beneath his own. it’s reassuring, grounding you back to the present after he brought you so far over the edge.

you move to get off, to let him get up & breathe — but he doesn’t release his grip, keeping you in place. you hear him speak.

“Only once?”

[charlie-artlie]

vanessa and the terrible no good very bad job

[ovaryacted]

I have so many headcanons of Leon, like so fucking many. Maybe one day I’ll actually sit down and type a few of them out even though it’s hard to pinpoint them as concrete ideas.

But one of my favorites is the fact that he knows how to eat pussy. Like I’m sorry, you can say he doesn’t know how to fuck or he’s a little naive/clueless when it comes to the actual fucking portion, but pussy eating is his specialty. He has a pretty face, pretty lips, the type that just looks so inviting and welcoming. He loves it when his face becomes the next IKEA seating best seller. I just feel like he knows what he’s doing, even if he hasn’t had sex in so damn long, he knows what to do with his tongue and his fingers.

Leon is perceptive, he’s smart, and he knows how to read situations and what’s needed to be done so his partners have a good time. I can guarantee you, that man knows when it’s munch o’clock, and frankly I think that’s his actual skill in the bedroom. If I’m gonna be extra real, he prefers eating pussy over actual fucking anyway, he’s a selfless type of guy, doesn’t give two shits about his own pleasure. So long as he gets a taste until he gets lock jaw, that’s all that matters to him. Leon is a sensual lover too, likes intimacy, will hold your hand as his face is between your legs. He’s also the type to fall in love during one night stands, that’s why he’s better off alone cause lord knows he doesn’t need to be doing none of that crazy shit.

Pathetic munch is really Leon’s brand. He’ll prefer to have his nose deep in your cunt and grind his aching cock against the mattress all night long, making you cum on his face over and over again until it’s the last thing he can sense. Hell he’ll die by pussy before he dies for his country. That’s what you call real acts of service for munch nation.

[yeenybeanies]

i keep thinkin about giants not knowing how to properly eat certain fruits. like, not knowing that you’re supposed to peel an orange, or cut around the big seed in a mango. bc why would they know this? fruits are a small little treat that they just pop in their mouth like a piece of candy.

giant: why does orange flavor taste good, but every time i eat an actual orange, it’s bitter

human: what are you talking about

giant: it’s always bitter!

human: the peel is bitter, but you don’t eat that.

giant:

giant: the peel?

human: do… do you not peel oranges before you eat them

giant: you don’t just eat them whole??

human:

human:

giant: don’t—

human: [takes off running]

giant: wait no gET BACK HERE—

[gunthermunch]

[Transcript under the cut]

Teacher: um. Blu… Bluma, right? Bluma: mmmngh…? Teacher: Class is over, dear. Everyone's out Bluma: mhmm but papa Maggie keeps putting bugs in my shoes- Bluma: class is over? Teacher: yes…? Bluma: …oh Teacher: you fell asleep so fast i thought i'd rather let you Bluma: thanks. Bluma: and of course none of my classmates bothered to wake me up. Teacher: does this happen often? Bluma: what? them? Teacher: oh no i mean, is there something… that you wanna talk about? perhaps? Bluma: oh. OH! well you are new here clearly. All my teachers are informed on my condition. Teacher: condition? Bluma: yes it's very very bad and serious and father inherited. horrendous really.

Bluma: it's called puberty

(Cass): bookcase! so exciting. Did it lead anywhere? (Cass): did you know i enjoy paraspychology? (Annie) Quick tip? don't mess up. (Ulrike) I mean, he doesn't need to have ''a plan'' yet. (Max): as if he ever will. WG:ugh. (WG): one day i decided to cut all my friends off, even her (WG): i need to figure out stuff first (Cass): don't prove me wrong (Morgan): maybe he'll never be someone important and that's okay y'know (Morgan): Wolfgang.you are being mean for no reason, again. (Morgan): I'm not mad, don't worry. Bye (WG): stop lying to yourself and do something you actually like for once (Cass): …yes. I agree (WG): that would make me feel less shitty about… the way i acted. (Jeb): eventually… (Jeb): I like your natural hair, by the way WG: …stupid thoughts. WG: hi mom WG: …she's what? WG: yeah. yeah i'm coming

[wiredalienvampire]

frutiger's aeroysee or something

(id like to apologize for the weird photo quality, i wanted to post this as a transparent image but the weird glitch ibispaint x has been having lately is still not fixed so i had to screenshot this piece and crop it like a god damn animal)

[clownsuu]

I have no clue if tumblr ate the ask or not (if it didn’t, I apologize for the double posting) BUT

BUT

Im glad to see so much art of Robbie getting so many friends who roughhouse with him, especially after the Robbie lore dump (possibly by coincidence? Since it wasn’t here) because he deserves friends who can handle and even match his energy :)))

YEAHHH IM GLAD TOO!! specially for a lonely guy like him,, he’s dumb and sometimes even criminal in what he does, but my golly he’s a really excited and happy guy,,,,,

[alexjcrowley]

The thing about brocedes still living in the same building makes me wanna munch my walls because on one hand I am convinced they're basically playing gay chicken except the first one to move out of that condo is not gay but implicitly admits to be psychologically weaker so now the fight is not about who wins the championship but who can recover more swiftly from 2016 and pretend he's unbothered by losing one of the most meaningful relationships of his life, it's psychosexual and unbelievable and uselessly painful and nobody really wins so they're both fucking ridiculous, they really said after the most heartbreaking friendship breakup ever documented on live tv let's be a little silly let's prolong our rivalry to levels only reached by american sitcoms

On the other hand

On other hand it makes perfect sense. They're not gonna move out because moving out would mean letting the fight die which would mean getting out of eachothers lives forever. Because when the fight ends we can't go back to being friends so I'd be forced to simply leave you behind and I can't do that. Let's keep up the fight, let me keep us for a little more, out of spite if not out of love. Yes I hate you and I can't even say your name and I won't call you on your birthday but please let me pretend it's out of my hands if I see you in the hallway one morning and then I hide behind a door. Until we live in the same building I have an excuse to see you without admitting I want to. Without testing my pride to see if I had the courage to come to you when we had no chance to meet on the stairs anymore, because I don't think I would allow myself that and I know I would suffer tremendously for it. We can't be a part of eachothers lives anymore because I've hurt you too much and you've done the same, we can't go back, but please don't let me move forward. You won't speak to me anymore but let me at least see your face once in a while. Not on posters or tv or internet, your face, without filters and the perfect lighting, with eyebags and imperfect hair and anything other than the press-trained smile because that is- was my friend, the man on tv- I don't know who that is. And it's my home, my home, understood, you can't force me out of it like you forced me out of your life so you move first if you want to move but I don't want to. It's my home and you were my friend and I'll be damned if I let you take anything else away from me again. I can't bear you in my life and I can't bear you out of it. Let's keep things muddy and confused and ridiculous, let's not ever put an end to this. Remind me everyday why I hate you rather than go away and force me to think maybe I still care about you more than I have ever hated you. Do not let this heal, because who knows if one of us will ever have the courage to go back to this car crash to see if there's still something that can be saved. I will stay here, forcing you to look around before you leave your apartment and check the flight of the stairs to see if I'm coming up when you need to go down, like a monster always hidden in a dark corner, like a ghost I will haunt you. I will force my presence into your life, if not in your home, at your table, in your living room, then in the corner of your eye, in a set of steps you could never not recognise, in a shadow approaching the hallway. The hurt will persevere and so will the love, in this new wretched form. We swore we would always be at eachothers side, we never said how. No, I won't move out and I won't move on. Allow me to force you to do the same.

[gh-0-stcup]

Daniel wanted to know how Armand tasted!

[crimeronan]

god the trump jury selection process really is my superbowl. i know 95% of you don't follow what's going on with the man but you should look up the staggering levels of diplomacy the currently remaining jurors are displaying.

how it's going: today trump's attorney asked a mexican-born juror who recently became a US citizen if being mexican would have an impact on his potential ruling, because of how this lawyer's client is a giant racist, and the guy was very thoughtfully like, "i..... fail to see how me being mexican affects whether or not a crime was committed.....?"

[scalematey]

honestly like kipperlily kind of hits on the same story beats hit by tectonya karkovnya and more broadly neverafter for me like. what if you were stuck being a background character in someone else’s story. what if you were resigned to being a boring person surrounded by outstanding people deemed of legendary significance by the fate and random chance. what if your adventuring party didn’t give a fuck about being special or about being heroes but instead chose to see themselves as minmaxxers going for the easy win. what if you wanted to be a hero and no one would let you, and when you met the people you resented this whole time for being heroes, they proved themselves as being as mean to you as you thought they would be. what if the one time you really reached out for it and went on a mission that you knew was above your level and you wanted to be a hero this once and be important and succeed, you got turned into the pawn of a dead rage god. what if you weren’t allowed to be an intrepid hero, so you turned into a villain

[puppetmaster13u]

more art for @phoenixcatch7 's Possessed Doll Au I just wanted to sketch him with his stomach hatch open. Who knows what he's doin

[runwhileyoucan]

"You got it all wrong, brother. I've always loved you, even now." 

I used @prettyundeadgirl 's picture as reference for the grave stone so kudos to her! Please check her photos out!