#my art teacher form that time was a HUGE asshole

[silentgrim]

your art has been so cute and it's so sweet of you to do too! i keep looking forward to seeing whoever you end up drawing next :)

aaa thank you!!! 😭 i’ve been really insecure about it,,, tho i’m glad you like it! you just gave me a confidence boost so thank u! 🤍

[teeto-peteto]

lets expand up a liiiiitle bit about other ruined king characters

Viego is proooobably the leader of a 'goth kidzs' club, the main gang and Viego's are in different classes but in the same year so they have this distant feeling of 'oh, there goes that bunch of assholes'. Probably reads Edgar Allan Poe.

Thresh forms part in the club also in Viego's class probably waiting for him to fall down the stairs so he can have the protagonism of being the leader of the group. You know, silly teenage/young adult things... Hes more of a sassy person rather than Viego that is more poetic like.

Vex doesnt appear in Ruined King BUT she is in the au cause she deserves it... Shes waaay more than just having a huge crush on Viego, but its a trait she has nonetheless. Shes an art kid for sure, and probably very in between the gothic aesthetic and the emo era at the same time, so she is still struggling to find her style. She probably draws in those ICONIC old emo couple drawings style...

Brief mention to Hecarim... Also on the club because of his friendship with Thresh, not much of a gothic but i think its fair to say hes prooobably a furry? not in a despective way he just likes horses a lot. Also Maokai... I like to think of him as a History teacher with a lot of wisdom in other areas... i imagine him and Ahri chitchatting after class about plant care cause Ahri is trying to grow her own and safe for her dog garden... he would be a calm teacher but also observant enough to see the relations in between students, im pretty sure he would totally ship students, we are maokai and maokai is us....

As for Isolde, im having confronted thoughts. I feel like she should be dead as Abigail is, and as one of the main gang will in the future (its obvious to tell who), but i like more a storyline where shes a normal student with good sense of fashion and love for it, wich Viego falls in love with but she changes schools leaving him without the opportunity to confess feelings, wich leads to his declive to the 'everything sucks i want to die' era.

I almost forgot Gangplank. Has briefs interactions with Viego's club but he isnt interested much, having friends closer to his interests. Yes he had a relationship with Illaoi in the past. Yes indeed they hate him very much. As for the murder of Abigail in this AU instead of Gangplank killing her its one of his close relatives, wich leaves Sarah and Illaoi and the rest of the group with 0 interest on talking to him as he never reached out to comfort or acusate his relative. We like a little angst.

Do other characters exist in the AU? Yes, but probably as background characters. Im only focusing on Ruined King + related characters, maybe adding Fizz and Nami sometime. Woah this ended up long i hope its entertaining enough. Again this is based on my personal experience on highschools in my country and also some media i consume, so sorry if its kinda wonky haha.

[honey-coloured-passion]

dream smp high school au and what they'd teach:

i had to get it out of my system but i'm so happy with how these turned out

mr notfound: engineering (the engineering teacher never really teaches and kinda sits in his office but the entire school simps for him so there's always a teacher hanging with him. his curriculum is free form and an easy A but genuinely pretty damn fun)

mr. nap: gym (hes the nice gym teacher who says screw the pacer test and rope climbing and you guys just play basketball after running like 2 laps. he's super gullible and will let anyone sit out for any semblance of pain. that is until the film teacher comes into the gym, then he's a tryhard beating freshman up to make layups on lowered hoops)

mr. wastaken: physics (the coolest class that always does crazy expiriments with large falling objects and questionable usage of dry ice, people always think his experiments are fake but he'll be the first to give a class long lecture on why every single piece of his work is 100% accurate. there was this one incident when he used the engineering teacher to explain torque and it ended with mr. notfound being caught in his arms. there's pictures but he still denys it.)

mr. blade: advanced english lit (mr. blade has no time for freshmen and if he does like a frosh into his class they've gotta he the damn best. his class is based on old literature analysis and storytelling. his favorite unit being greek mythology. most of his assignments aren't just boring essays or stressful discussion. no one truly knows what mr. blades class is like until you've taken it, they're often heard chanting "blood for the blood god" before exams but the principal is yet to do anything about it.)

mr. awsamdude: comp sci/coding (sam is the teacher everyone adores, there's usually at least two people crying in his office before and after school but he always knows what will cheer them up! he tries to work closely with mr. notfound but he's busy with the physics prof so sam has gotten really close with his TA tubbo. they do all kinds of coding competitions and his class is known to be a safe haven for students of all kinds- "coding is for everyone!" he always chants)

ms. nihachu: art (known for the classroom with the best vibes niki insists on dropping the ms. and formalitys. she's the teacher with lofi playing and bean bags and couches in her beautifully decorated classroom. she has an open classroom meaning anyone can come in anytime and she is dedicated to making sure no one eats lunch alone. a couple times a year she goes on a huge rant about loving oneself and the value of not judging others, needless to say everyone adores her - especially the theatre kids as her class is constantly helping them with set design)

mr. soot: music/theatre (does he have a degree? unknown. does he teach anything besides music? couldnt tell ya. mr soot roams the halls during class hours that aren't his one choir period; popping into various classes to pretend to be a student or just all around goof off. his theatre program however, one of the best. he makes the most extravagant plays and musicals with barely any budget. after his show goes on he goes dark for like 2 weeks straight "recuperating" but no one questions because that kind of genius needs resting)

mr. frost: math (ant and red would TOTALLY teach math together and it would be so cute everyone would see them walk in and out of school together and ship them and their classroom would be a safe space for people to come out or even just hangout. ant would be a crazy good teacher who is understanding and not one of those asshole math teachers. he's the one everyone always wants to have haha)

mr. jacobs: film/freshman history (mr jacobs is the freshman heartthrob and senior best friend. he teaches film as history, film as lit, and frosh history - basically the easiest classes, but he makes them the most fun. in his lit classes they watch cartoons and search for literature similarities or historical evidence. in his history classes he goes on grand lectures often standing on tables to reenact his favorite history moments. occasionally he brings in his friends to re create a massive fight in front of all the history classes, it's scuffed but everyone always looks forward to them)

ms. puffy: head counselor (ms puffy is the sweetest soul and often is helping students with everything from their personal lives to college. she assigns the TA's and classrooms and works closely with mr minecraft to make the school as conducive of a learning environment as possible.)

mr. minecraft: the principal, the big man himself, mr fuckin minecraft. (he constantly looks sleep deprived and exhausted but he loves the students and teachers with his whole heart. he takes no shit from annoying parents or asshole students and is known to ban the entitled cruel students from all his favorite teachers classes, leaving them with the worst teachers. usually he can be found telling dream he can't have more money for explosives, begging wilbur to sleep and rest, and telling techno he's gonna have to teach a english 9 class eventually. that and dealing with his new TA's.)

our lovely teacher assistants:

ranboo: english TA (thought he was gonna get art with niki but puffy out him with the blade. originally he was terrified but he's growing on mr. blade with his deep analytical thoughts and similar dry humor. granted- he does have the most work of all the TA's because mr. blade makes him grade all the multiple choice tests, but he's really starting to love the english classroom.)

tubbo: comp sci TA (tubbo had been begging to be sam's TA since freshman year where he took almost all the coding classes in one year. plus, the computer science room is right next to the physics room in the science wing so he can pop over and see tommy all the time. tubbo and sam stay in the computer lab way later than philza should allow but they've made magnificent codes for the school. everytime tubbo points out he's graduating soon sam starts to tear up, but he knows tubbos gonna do big things, he's just gonna miss his goofy TA.)

tommy: physics TA (the pounding philza got on his office door when tommy didn't get wilbur was ground shaking. puffy and philza calmly explained that tommy has a knack for physics if he would just focus and genuinely learn from dream. "big D" as tommy calls him, wasnt jazzed either. their year as TA and teacher started rocky but dream would come to realize that tommy is more talented than he lets on and after speaking to wilbur and puffy he realized there was a damn good reason he was given tommy. he took it upon himself to turn tommy into the best student he could be. and tommy isn't one to back down from a fight. little did he know this year would be the best year yet.)

i'm so happy with this and i actually think i might expand it idkkkk :)))

[djarinsbeskar]

So I very much would like to be railed into oblivion by Boxer!Din...

But I'm also curious to know more about his relationship and history with Trainer Boba.

Maia---💙

Okay first of all... this drawing??? Do you have ANY idea how in love with it I am? I--- actually cannot even articulate, it's just the entire vibe from it is so achingly accurate. The expressions-- the hand on his shoulder-- it's... damn it's everything. This piece in particular has me all in my emotions, god. Maia-- thank you again for sharing your art and for gracing my little AU with such enriching visuals than I could ever hope to dream for 🥺

Now.

These two.

So, I’ve hinted before that Din was troubled as a teenager – he fought a lot. Whether it was someone looking at him wrong in high school or on the streets with men twice his age, Din could be found dealing with most everything physically. Note: this still applies, angry? He spends hours with the punchbag. Competitive? He takes on more opponents in the ring. Attracted? He fucks.

Boba was a relatively new teacher at Din’s school. An injury ended his own boxing career at an early age, so he took on a teaching role for physical education while being a highly sought after boxing coach for the school team. There’s not a huge age gap between them as you might expect (perhaps 10 years) so there’s a blurred line between friendship and mentorship between them.

So, Boba gets wind of this kid—this ‘problem’, who ends up suspended way too often for punching assholes in the face quicker than entirely necessary, but Boba doesn’t particularly care for the reasons. All he cares about is how good this kids form must be if he can do that damage in one punch. There’s talk of his activities on the streets, the fears of him running with gangs. There’s talk of his expulsion just to remove the problem altogether.

But Boba sees an opportunity. A kid – angry and directionless – who reminds Boba of himself, who’s old enough to be spoken to like a man, but still young enough to have a shot. So, he sits Din down, asks him why he fights.

“Things make sense when I’m fighting.”

And that was all it took. An ultimatum—fighter to fighter, no frills or beating around the bush. It made Din respect Boba immediately—a twenty something year old who looked at this fifteen year old kid like an adult and said,

“You wanna be expelled or do you wanna learn to fight for real?”

The first time Din stepped between ropes into the ring, brown eyes focused and wild—tapped into a uniquely rare instinct most humans lived their lives ignorant to—something special that Boba spotted immediately from the patient prowl of the younger man across the canvas mat. This was him. In that ring, this teenager became a king, reckless and in need of refinement—but uniquely gifted.

Din got through school on scholarships because of his athletic abilities. A ‘problem’ soon became a ‘MVP’ to the school who only then were happy to support him. But Din wasn’t ignorant, he knew who really had his back against any and all opponents, and he’s loyal to a fault to Boba for it. They’re both cut from the same cloth; stoic, gruff—terrible with emotions, but they trust each other, rely on each other—and while Boba disagrees with the underground fighting—he also knows it’s something Din needs to do.

Fighting can’t just be about glory after all, he still likes to knock assholes on their asses, scare them off from committing something worse.

[diegolabhont]

I didn't mean to fall in love with you

Chapter One

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC  (Beck Hughes)

Genre: None (in this post, al least)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really.

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can someone explain to her how a person who claims to be so disinterested in the ranking was magically climbing to the top twenty?

Poppy didn’t buy it for a second, she always knew Beck were going to be a pain in her ass ever since the first time she saw them looking at her as if they weren’t impressed, but she wasn’t fully aware of how much.

“You don’t have to worry about them, Poppy” Chloe said while the strawberry blonde retouch her make up in the mirror inside her own room. “Beck is just a dude”

“Transphobia much, Chloe?” Veronica murmured playfully, wanting to start drama among her streaming fans.

“No! What I'm saying is… Beck's brain works as a regular dude, right? How much smart can they be?”

“Ha! That´s rich coming from you” Veronica laughed.

Both girls started a discussion about related shit, Beck’s brain, hormones and else while Poppy put on the mascara. Completely silent, thinking.

She treated Beck as a common enemy, she attacked them just like she would to any other lost lamb trying to be the wolf but it was not enough. Even one of those plans exploded in her own face: ruining and breaking Beck's guitar caused that they not only get a flashy and beautiful new one, but sang side by side with the one and only Jaylen Riaz, making a huge performance. Even better than hers, which was something painful and humiliating at the same time, especially after Veronica told her Beck’s YouTube channel had a followers increase, making them even more popular.

Chloe was right on something: Beck’s brain worked like a dude, and if she had learned something was that men in general were manipulable. Take a look at Michael, he was dumb as hell. Liam was a douchebag. Luis, Ford… well, they… they´re there. The only golden boy among them was Carter, and yet, he wasn´t that hard, she just gave him what he wanted in that party and after that, everything ran smoothly.

And that´s what she needed.

Poppy´s look changed, her eyes sparkled in a very malicious way and a smile crossed her face for a split second. She now had a plan, and unexpectedly, it was a Chloe attribution.

“Maybe if we accused them of cheating…?” Chloe suggested, but Poppy knew better.

“That won´t be necessary, Chlo” Poppy intervened for the first time in a while, making both girls look at her intrigued. They knew Poppy, and the little smile she had on her lips as she applied lipstick was a proof. The blonde was onto something juicy. Veronica ended the live and awaited. “Beck will be mine.”

~~X~~

It was kinda lame to her, but finding Beck completely alone under the football stands playing guitar was at least convenient. They were an eye candy from the start, that was a fact. The way that white t-shirt embraced their body was something else to see, her mind went back to the second time she saw them. The sassy rock star kind of look Beck had, even the haircut was perfect, Poppy knew that was a Zoey Wade signature and she kinda thanked her for it. Beck was damn fine, that fact made easier her plan to be honest.

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Beck stopped playing, literally frozen in place as a statue.

“What did you just say?” Their tone of voice was cold, almost insulted. Did she just get it wrong? No, she´s never wrong. A Queen can´t be wrong, especially a Min-Sinclair queen.

“It was a compliment, Farmsville” she said, rolling her eyes.

“That´s not a compliment” Beck chuckled, putting the guitar aside. “I mean, I don´t mind, but if you are going to use that to the trans community… It~ may not end well” Poppy frowned, a little pissed off. She was doing an effort, no-one had ever heard a compliment from her and this little sh… “But thanks.” Beck offered her a sweet smile a second before turn it into a mocking one. “You do pass pretty well as a woman, too”

“Go fuck yourself!”

“And now she gets it!” They started laughing, making her really angry. Poppy walked away fuming, her head up high and a killer look murdering anyone who dare crossing ways with her.

That stupid ASSHOLE. Did they THINK they could disrespect her?! To HER! She was the number ONE, the fucking RULER of the entire school. Beck was lucky enough to be in her radar and they just throw stupid shit like that!

“To be fair… I did say it first”

“I thought it was a COMPLIMENT” She fight against herself. “What am I? Some trans expert?!”

“No… But I can be. I mean, to destroy my enemy…”

“I have to know them...”

Even thought she was still mad about it, Poppy tapped wildly though her phone. She needed to do something, and she knew just the thing.

“It´s ON, jackass”

~~X~~

POV: Beck

Top fifteen. Everyone was losing their shit because they were now top twenty and Beck... Well... They just didn´t want it.

And yeah, sure, that was kinda good. The students in Belvoire had begun to pay attention to their music as well, Beck even caught a few of them listen to songs Beck wrote and some other cover as well. Their art was taking off and that was awesome, don't get it wrong, that was something Beck wanted for so long, but...

They were afraid.

What if it was because of the stupid ranking?

What if Beck just wasn´t that good, and the only thing people would want was that Beck who studded up against Poppy Min-Sinclaire and lived to tell? Even Zoey, she was talking about popularity, Belvoire elite, and some “Person to watch-out” or shit Award which yes, was huge! But… Beck really was afraid that it was Beck who puts the music high and not backwards.

What if…

What if Poppy really messes all up?

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Poppy´s words in their mind caught Beck off guard. What was her deal anyway? She came and said some weird shit, and...

Actually, everything in that interaction was weird as fuck. And not just that, Beck meet Taylor by accident later that day in the ice cream shop, they both talked a little and they found out she had a big crush onto some random guy Beck didn´t knew before.

Of course Beck was the matchmaker! They even helped her by carrying those stupid anti-diarrheic pills to the lion´s den. Ok, yes, maybe~ Beck should´ve had given them to someone and not just let them in the front door… But it wasn´t their fault that The T found out!! Poppy was losing it, and of course it was them to blame.

Why can´t they just have a normal life… with normal problems… and not… this?

“I´m dead… I´m actually dead…” Beck thought while burying their head on their hands, tired.

“Beck? Hello? I assume you heard the details of the assignment.”

“What?”

“Ehm… Yeah! Totally” Beck said with a “confident” smile that nobody believed in, Professor Roberta even frowned before going back to the lecture, while Beck tried uselessly to catch something about the assignment from their classmates´ laptops. She hated Beck anyway, but it wasn´t good news to be always in her bad side.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! … What did she say?”

“Mass comm is all about reaching people far and wide, so this project is meant to give the voiceless in our own community a voice by…”

A penetrant gaze nailed their nape, giving them chills. Beck immediately looked for that one hawk over them and not to their surprise the person found on the other side was that deadly beauty called Poppy Min-Sinclair, watching Beck as they´re a prey. Feeling really drove up the wall, Beck winked playfully at her, expecting her to look away or some rude expression towards them.

But no.

Scaring the shit out of them, Poppy actually smiled back at Beck. A sweet, flirty smile that left them feeling their heart racing as crazy and their cheeks burning red, her dark eyes so into theirs that all their system collapsed... What was happening?

“Earth to Beck!”

Professor Roberta yelled, making Beck jump a little in their sit, breaking all eye contact between them both. When did Beck turn their body completely to watch Poppy? Of course the professor was mad, Beck was practically giving her their back! As faster as they could, Beck took the right seat, being even more embarrassed now while Poppy let go a chuckle, they could hear her from any other laughter just as clearly as if she were so close.

“Oh, sorry. I… Sorry”

“Find your community service project partner please” Professor said. Beck gathered their things and head into the aisle, looking around, praying to find someone whiling to work with them and, mainly, explain to them what was that project about. The thing was everyone had already a partner. Everyone except for…

The strawberry blonde was gazing Beck as sure as someone who´s waiting for this chance can be. Smiling that same smile that caused them to feel butterflies in their stomach… Beck wasn´t sure if they were aroused… or scared.

“Professor Roberta… I need a new partner” Beck practically begged. “I´m sorry. I just can´t work with Poppy.”

The pretty but odd teacher was about to say something. Something bad based on the expression on her face, but a perfect made-up laughter cut her words, as Beck was feeling how a soft and warm hand hooked to their arm.

“Nonsense, professor! I am pretty sure we´ll be working just fine.” Poppy said, a relaxed expression drawn on her porcelain face. “Let´s go, Hughes.”

Ok, Beck was now scared. As both of them walked out the classroom, Beck´s brain was running wild, thinking about every and each form Poppy could use to disappear them from the face of the earth. Ironic, Beck survived Farmsville but they´ll be totally done in New York. Ha! Life hates them.

“Listen, I know what you are thinking…”

Really?

“... but the last thing I need right now is having my GPA taken away. So I´ve already figured it all out. We´re doing an animal shelter commercial for our project. I can ask daddy to borrow the equipment and crew”

“Didn´t think of you as a daddy person” Beck laughed, a little more repose.

“Shut the fuck up, Farmsville. This will be easy, so all I need you to do is… Oh my god.”

Poppy stared at her phone completely in shock, color draining from her face as it was sucked by a dementor.

“I have to go. We can figure out the deets later, I´ll text you where to meet me”

Then, she just left. Beck took a deep breath and let out a hiss.

“Gosh, this school is going to kill me!”

They said, who would have thought a class could be so much?

-----

Next

[fipindustries]

advice for my younger self

listening to that playlist i shared earlier today really got me in the mindframe of me back in my first years of college when i was barely starting to learn what it was to be an adult. and thinking about that i thought of some thing i would ike to say to that person, some bits of basic wisdom that without getting too specific or too monumental would have made a big difference. things that i know i wouldnt have figured out on my own until it was too late.

 this is not about specific mistakes i made but more general attitudes that i should have carried with me back then. most of this is going to be very particular and make sense only to me but if you are interested keep reading.

1) you dont have to complete your carrer in five years, you can take six or seven or ten years to do it, your parents would have assisted you all the same

1.a) as for studying, for christ sake dont just read the textbooks, if you are giving a big test and specifically if its a big oral lesson, write it down before hand, prepare a speech, write a monologue, practisce it, memorize it. prepare specifically what you are going to say when you are in front of the teachers, dont try to just “learn” it and hope that you’ll be able to recall it during the test

1.b) you dont have to take every single course in the semester, you can pick two or three you are really interested in, let the others by the wayside, pick them up later, use the free time to really study properly or get a simple part time job if you can, i know its sounds scary and like its a lot of responsability and like it diverges wildly from the plan you have for your life but trust me, its a lot easier than it sounds

2) dont be afraid of mental illness. is not as scary as it looks form the outside in. you are not gonna go insane, you are not going to get lost in a false world of delusion where you can never know what is real and what isnt. reality asserts itself, things calm down, it goes away. you get through it and you realize is not that bad from the other side. mental illness is a lot more common than you think, a lot more widespread than you think and a lot more manageable that you think. is not the end of the world and is not the end of your world either.

2.a) dont be afraid of the therapist, you will actually enjoy it a lot. it doesnt mean there is something terribly wrong or broken with you. its not shameful. they are smart and trained and they are glad to hear you talk. they are not going to force you into anything you dont want, they are not going to turn you into someone else, they are not going to send you to a mad house. their primary goal is that you be comfortable and at peace with yourself. go to a therapist.

3) keep your eyes open for any boardgame clubs. ask around, i know for a fact there is at least one in every city you’ve lived, maybe not yet at the time of you reading this but there will be. if you find them, join. they are the best thing that has ever happened to you.

4) if you happen to have sexual partners (and im not saying you definetly will) make sure they have a good time. ask what they want and do it for them. make sure they cum, seriously. stay with them. spend time together. cuddle in bed. they are having sex with you so the least you can do is have sex with them as well.

4.a) and by that same token, if you are in a relationship dont doubt to ask for sex too! be open about that, be forthcomming, but do be respectful. and if they say no or that they dont like to do that you should probably end the relationship, you are not going to be happy with them.

4.b) dont be afraid to try on womens clothes, you have my blessing, explore your femmenine side, try on make up. try on the fake boobies. do silly frilly pinky femmenine stuff. i know it’s just a weird fetish for you but if you have a partner be open with them about this and if they are supportive or want to help you explore this take full advantage. and dont worry, its not some dirty disgusting terrible secret that must be hidden from everyone. your friends and family are going to be ok with it if it ever comes out but dont feel is some dark secret that you must confess either, its your bussiness and for you to figure out at your own pace (also, hey, weird tip, i know it will sound absolutely nonesensical to you but did you know there are a lot of trans women who are trans without expiriencing dysphoria, just a fun fact i wanted to share with you :) )

5) dont be afraid of SJWs, they are not going to take away your games, they are not going to ruin cartoons or art or books or movies. masterpieces will still come out, well written, well drawn, well programmed and well animated masterpieces that you will love. you will be amazed at how easy is to ignore those people and how irrelevant they actually are once you stop following them on tumblr and once you stop going to twitter. 

5.a) if you think politics is stupid or cancerous now, wait until 2016, ok?

5.b) learn to apologize and own up to your mistakes. if a friend or an acquaintance is telling you that you are being an asshole online dont get defensive, just drop it and move on. dont make a huge deal out of it and dont engage in long protracted discussions online. just dont, you will embitter yourself, this is particularly salient because to this day you are having problems with this one, though not as frequently as you used to.

6) this one is more superficial i think because overall you did well on your own without advice from the future but... trust in your art. you will will amaze yourself with the things you will create. you ARE going to get a LOT better at what you do and you will learn a lot of things you never thought you would be able to master. you are going to become an amazing artist (that doesnt necesarily mean a financially succesful one or  a widely known one but you will be good at it and, trust me, that is what matters)

7) i know you’ve heard this one a million times but this one is cheating because i am from the future and i know this for a fact, you will be ok. things will work out, you will, time and again, find the way to fall on your feet, your family and friends will be there to catch you. you have a safety net, you are very lucky in that regard, dont take it for granted but it is there. you are not gonna end up homeless in the streets or raped in a dark alley or expelled on in prison or in a mental hospital, so relax and stop being so scared. you have ten very weird years ahead of you so good luck with that.

ps: you are going to meet a girl named zoe, she’s great, she’s the best. dont go live to hear apartment if you dont have a stable job and able to pay your own rent. and if you do make sure you moved out of it by february of 2020. if fact if at all possible, try not to be in cordoba by 2020. you are going to be fine as long as you are careful, you are not gonna die, i repeat YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE. but do be extremely careful. thats it, godspeed.

[potatobubblewrapnightmare]

Hi all!

Tw transphobia, intrusive thoughts (violence), p*riods, misogyny, s*xual *ssault, swearing

Long post

Its been a while since my last update on my life and it’s very interesting to say the least

I came out to someone yesterday who I’ve been putting off for over a year now and let me tell you my heart rate was out of control.

my best friend was there with me at the time so she could back me up if anything went wrong But I was still on the verge of crying and I felt so nauseous.

Basically the amount of misogyny in my school is ridiculous so the teachers wanted to try and tackle that with half assed attempts at “having chats” with the assholes who think r*pe jokes are funny.

This coincided with our school winning a grant to put pads and tampons in all bathrooms and yesterday we had to split into boys and girls to discuss this. The idea was that The Boys (tm) would stop period shaming and be taught how wrong all their misogyny and sexual harassment is. Instead they just watched a ted talk about toxic masculinity and filled in a form about three pros and cons of being male.

I was part of the trans and gender diverse group that met up in the art room instead and discussed these things with a gender neutral perspective.

Now I have a friend (ex boyfriend) who likes to get political sometimes and he brought this up with my friend and I as we were walking home. There was a question on the form EVERYONE had to do which was “what is your gender?” followed by “do you menstruate?” Which he couldn’t get over because “if you just put sex instead of gender it answers the second question,” and yeah, in most cases, but the point was getting an idea of how many trans kids needed support. Then he made a comment about the non binary option and my friend and I went off at him hugely.

Now I have my name (Charlie) across the back of my school shirt and my name an pronouns in my bio on Instagram.

I pointed these things out and then told him I was transgender and Charlie he/him if you don’t mind and he was silent.

He flipped like a switch.

But the newfound support was so genuine feeling I don’t know what to make of it.

He asked if I would hang out with him at lunch now that I was one of the boys.

Obviously slight problem with wording there but I understood what he meant.

But it was an invitation to spend more time with him and I’m suspicious that I’m going to just be “look my friend is trans so I’m not a dick” points. I’m also interested to see if we’ll be on speaking terms and if so what name he will call me.

When I came out to my other friends they slowly became more comfortable talking about LGBTQ+ topics and while I know it is not my responsibility, if I can make an ally out of my cishet friend then hopefully change will start happening.

There’s a secondary issue however in that I keep having intrusive thoughts about punching the friend I came out to in the face and knocking him cold. It’s been in my dreams and I have to keep my temper when I’m around him. I say he’s my friend but anyone I met in the last four years I don’t consider my friend. But I digress.

I just see visions of him, bloody, falling to the ground as I laugh and I’m not a violent person at all and I’m so confused. :/

I feel sick and don’t want to go to school though lol.

Stay safe, stay strong!

Charlie

[pomegranate-belle]

happy new year! for the prompt game thing: mattfoggy, soulmates!au, fake dating, prompt 19? 😂

Fake Dating + Soulmates AU = Fake Soulmates AU, right?? Right?? Anyway this took too long because it spiraled out of control and now it’s 2k+ words and there’s like four or five more snippets of future scenes in this AU hiding in my notes app now, lmao

(Also, apologies to anyone reading this who’s named Stephanie, lol)

—

It all starts because Matt is a flirty bastard who gravitates towards women that are capital-T Trouble like a child in galoshes gravitates towards puddles. That is — eagerly, enthusiastically, and with precisely zero regard for the people in the splash zone.

Foggy, who has become a permanent resident of the splash zone, is best friends with him anyway, for some unfathomable reason.

Which is a mean thing to think. It’s not unfathomable. Matt is funny and whip-smart and a big nerd and he just gets Foggy, and his smile...

Anyway, life in the splash zone is worth it. Just, you know, it’s hard to remember that after your bestie’s date steals your wallet or gets you sexiled or stuck in the middle of a bar fight that is definitely not your fault. Or, apparently, tries to swap out the non-accessible petition form your (blind, by the way) best friend means to sign with a marriage certificate.

Yeah. Really. That’s the level of what-the-fuckery they’ve reached now.

“I think I need your help with this one,” Matt says with a grimace.

“You didn’t actually end up signing it, did you?” asks Foggy, because, well, with their luck who knows.

But Matt shakes his head.

“No, it’s just. Uh... I, um, don’t think she’s going to stop.”

Maybe Foggy should just smother himself with his pillow. Or smother Matt with his pillow. The second one seems like it would solve a lot more problems, since this mess is entirely Matt’s fault.

“And what, exactly, do you expect me to do about that, Matthew!” he demands. “You’re the one who decided to sleep with Stephanie Jenkins even after I warned you about her crazy eyes!”

“And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, ok? You told me so, is that what you want to hear?” Matt all but whines, burying his face in his arms just enough to leave his eyes peeking out.

He’s on his bed, head towards the footboard and rolled onto his stomach for maximum cuteness. His eyes aren’t quite pointed the right direction, but that hardly matters. Matt’s pleading expressions are more effective even when they’re aimed a little right of their target than anybody else’s could be from straight on.

“Ugh.”

“Foggy, come on.”

“Ughhhhh.”

“Foggy.”

Matt’s big, wide sad-puppy-dog eyes get impossibly bigger and wider.

“Ok, ok! Fine, I’ll help! Stop pouting, jeez,” Foggy concedes in the face of Matt’s pleading expression and general air of hopelessness. “But don’t expect me to come up with a plan or anything, she’s yourcreepy hookup.”

Matt’s posture changes immediately now that he’s gotten what he wants. He goes up on his elbows, grinning the grin that always means chaos is coming.

“Gotta pull out the big guns for this one,” he claims. “Even she’d have to back off over a soulmate match.”

Foggy, who has maybe spent the past year and a half idly checking his skin for a mark that could potentially tie him to Matt, feels his stomach flip uncomfortably.

“You’re not suggesting...” His throat goes dry. “You and I fake being...”

“Well, I need someone in on it with me who won’t get the wrong idea,” explains Matt, cheerful as can be while he crushes Foggy’s stupid heart into tiny little pieces.

Foggy swallows hard.

“Yeah, um. Makes sense,” he croaks out.

“Good,” says Matt, all business, sitting up fully and holding out a box. “I already borrowed some temporary tattoo pens off Marci, and she promised to keep our secret if we buy her drinks next weekend.”

“Why does Marci have temporary tattoo pens?” asks Foggy as he gets up off his own bed and accepts them, since it seems like the most innocuous of all the questions rattling around in his head.

“To take notes on her arms, apparently,” Matt replies.

“Yeah, that tracks.”

Marci’s the kind of person who could get away with slightly-eccentric behavior like that, mostly because she was dead terrifying. And also hot. She was the kind of person people wanted to step on them. Not that Foggy did. Or anything.

“Anyway,” Foggy said, maybe a little too loud, clearing his throat. “Where is it you want your soulmark, then?”

“Umm.” Matt tilts his head. “My... Arm, I guess? Isn’t that the best place to make it visible for Stephanie? I mean. Where did you think I wanted it, my butt?”

As Matt asks the question, his ears go a little pink, which offsets his sarcasm and is also hilariously adorable. Matt’s a cool guy, but he also spent like ten years surrounded by nuns, and every so often that becomes very, very clear. It’s definitely one of Foggy’s favorite things about Matt. Well, along with literally everything else about Matt. He grins.

“No offense, buddy, but you definitely are the kind of person who’d have one on your butt.”

“I am not!” laughs Matt. “What does that, what does that even mean?”

“Listen, Murdock, some people are just butt-soulmark people, that’s all. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Shut up,” Matt says, his voice still bright with humor. “It’s going on my arm.”

He shoves up the sleeve of his slightly-baggy sweater and holds out his right arm, palm up. So, Foggy digs around in the box of temporary tattoo pens until he finds one with black ink, and then settles next to Matt on the bed. Once he’s got himself in a good position, he accepts Matt’s arm, grabs it gently by the wrist to draw it down onto his lap.

And it’s like it finally sinks in, what he’s about to do. He’s going to literally mark Matt Murdock as his — never mind that it’s a farce to get rid of some creepy chick, or what Matt said about not getting the wrong idea. In a very real and physical sense, he’s about to draw something that will bind them together, at least in everyone else’s eyes. This goes way beyond bar napkin doodles, beyond wistful musings about Nelson and Murdock. People are going to see this mark and know—

They’re going to know what Foggy’s been trying not to know for a long time now. That he’s hopelessly, irrevocably, pathetically in love with Matt.

“What should it be?” Foggy asks, heart thundering in his chest as he holds the pen in one hand and the soft, pale expanse of Matt’s upturned arm in the other.

The smile on Matt’s face looks sweet and coy. A knock-out punch disguised as a cool, sweet drink. And as much as he pretends he’s a beer and cheap whiskey man, Foggy’s always been a sucker for the kind of fruity cocktails that knock him on his ass.

“Something fitting.”

“Gee, why didn’t I think of that,” mutters Foggy. “Speak now or I’m giving you an avocado.”

Matt tries halfheartedly to tug his arm away, laughing.

“No way, not an avocado. Something serious! Like... Scales of justice.”

“I see your hard-on for Lady Justice hasn’t diminished at all,” Foggy jokes, but begins drawing the scales anyway.

It takes enough focus that he’s able to override any feelings of embarrassment. And then he’s scrawling the same design onto his own skin, his left arm and Matt’s right pressed side-by-side as they lie across Foggy’s knee. Finally, it’s done and he caps the pen.

“Perfect,” he says, pleased, as he compares the two marks. “They’re identical. Suck on that, Mr. Trenkamp, I can too draw straight lines.”

Is it the height of maturity to invoke your hated fourth grade art teacher like ten years after he first insulted your mediocre art skills? No. But being the height of maturity is lame anyway, Foggy decides.

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” jokes Matt, and his expression is so soft that Foggy has to look away before he, like, spontaneously combusts or something.

“Well, trust me, pal, those are some primo fake soulmarks.”

“Thanks, Fog.”

Matt nudges Foggy’s shoulder with his own, then holds out a loose fist. Knocking their knuckles lightly together, Foggy can’t help the giddy smile on his face.

“Anytime, Matt.”

—

They don’t get a chance to show off their marks until two days later, when they’re strolling across campus towards the dining hall and Matt pauses apropos of nothing and rolls up his sleeves to his elbows, juggling his white cane a little in the process. He then proceeds to fumble for Foggy’s wrists and roll his sleeves up too.

“Matt, what—”

“Shh, act natural!” Matt mutters, knocking his cane lightly against Foggy’s shoe, and then pressing a warm hand to his back to get him walking again.

And, honest to god, not a minute later up walks Stephanie Jenkins. Foggy takes a good moment to consider that maybe Matt’s lady-radar is actually real. In the next, Matt is stretching his arms (and his cane, the goof) above his head, right wrist crossed in front of the left so his fake soulmark will be in sight. Stephanie jerks to a stop, eyes trained on it. After the stretch, for which Foggy very carefully avoids looking at Matt to see if his shirt rides up, Matt folds up his cane and holds out his hand, fingers curled slightly, the way he usually does when he’s asking for Foggy’s arm for guiding purposes.

“Fogs?”

Well, it’s a cue if Foggy’s ever seen one, so he presses his arm into Matt’s grip, making sure the underside of his forearm is turned up for Stephanie’s sake. Her eyes go huge. Foggy gets the feeling that, no matter what he’s trying to save Matt from, he’s going to feel like an asshole if she cries. Thankfully, her face turns puce and angry instead. She’s probably thinking something unflattering about Foggy’s suitability for a guy like Matt but, well. Fuck her anyway.

Just to nail in his point, apparently, Matt traces his free hand up Foggy’s shoulder and into his hair, brushing a long lock of it behind his ear before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

In all honesty, Foggy pretty much forgets all about Stephanie Jenkins after that. Just continues on towards the dining hall, narrating on autopilot in between long bouts of staring at Matt with a racing heart and pathetic cow eyes.

—

The two of them get a frankly embarrassing number of ‘I knew it’s from their classmates, go nearly broke keeping Marci Stahl in vodka, and kiss four more times (three on the cheek, and one chaste, close-mouthed peck on the lips that nearly stops Foggy’s heart).

Also, Foggy gets Stephanie Jenkins’ crazy-eyes glare for three straight weeks. He loves every second of it. Suck it, Stephanie Jenkins, he thinks every time. Which is, yeah, probably a little mean, but hey, this is the lady who tried to take advantage of Matt’s blindness to trick him into (admittedly, a definitely not legally enforceable) marriage. Foggy doesn’t have an ounce of sympathy for her.

Though he risks jinxing himself, Foggy does eventually ask how long Matt thinks the ruse should go on. When Matt decides they should keep up the act until at least the end of the semester, Foggy tries not to agree too eagerly. After all, he’s not supposed to get the wrong idea. Eventually Matt’s heartbreaker ways will win out and he’ll want to find a hot girl to kiss. He’s trusting Foggy with an awful lot, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to... To, you know, fall in love with him or anything. But they’ll still always be best friends. That’s what really matters.

—

After three months, Foggy is used to seeing the fake soulmark on the inside of his left arm when he showers. It doesn’t make his heart squeeze anymore. He no longer has to remind himself that it’s still fake even when soap doesn’t wash it away — all it would take is a little makeup remover, after all. He knows that. It’s fake even though it’s there in a form of semi-permanence. Just another fact of life.

But this particular morning he stops cold, because there’s something on the inside of his right arm too. A perfect, identical mirror image of the scales of justice on his left.

Maybe he was so tired he drew another one on the wrong arm when refreshing the fake soulmark. Maybe. But probably not. Foggy takes slow, deep breaths until the end of his shower. Then he dries off, dresses — pulling on his shirt with the sleeves rolled all the way down — and hurries back to the dorm room for the box of makeup remover wipes they keep next to their sink now.

It’s fine, he tells himself. It’ll wash off. It’s ok. His hands are trembling so hard that he has to squeeze the wipe to keep hold of it and some of the remover solution drips onto his left arm. The fake soulmark there begins to smudge.

The one on the right stays stark and perfect.

“That’s not funny,” Foggy tells it, voice shaking, but though he scrubs at it until the skin’s raw — with the wipe, with hand sanitizer, with isopropyl — it doesn’t come off.

Eventually he’s got to face the facts. His dumb heart has somehow conned his body into producing a genuine, grade-A soulmark for his fake soulmate.

He is so monumentally fucked.

[ohnohetaliasues]

Stones to Abbigale {Ch. 3+4}

(Kat)

I’m doing chapter four also since chapter three is so short.

I hate this book thoroughly.

But here we go.

Briefly after I fell asleep that night I had a dream about Abbi,

Please don’t go the way I think this is going.

it was the first dream I had experienced in some time. I'm not normally the type of person to be deeply impacted by dreams as more often than not I can control them. I can recognize the fact that I'm in a dream and twist things around so that whatever is making me afraid becomes afraid of me. This tactic however could not possibly work in this soon-to-be nightmare, as there was no living monster waiting around the corner. There was no emotion in this machine that was about to reveal itself to me. I could only watch without a physical form. I was just a helpless spectator in my own mind.

Okay so that was actual word salad.

The dream began without any sound; only a deep hum accompanying what appeared to be Abbi laughing in a field of what looked like gray grass from a far. As my view of her revealed more detail I began to realize that what I thought was grass was actually long slender claws.

So this girl is just...

In a field of claws?

Experiencing a more alarmed spectrum of emotion, the audible hum cut out and was replaced by Abbi's screams. The sounds echoed bouncing off the walls of my mind splitting me in two and engulfing the core my being.

I’m so fucking confused.

She was not forming any words in her screams and I began to understand why the more I analyzed every detail. I shifted my perspective to a new angle. I was now above her looking down and could see the claws were pulling her into the ground. She showed no resistance to being dragged into the ground, she didn't even cry for help, she would only scream in pain as she slowly sank beneath the surface. I began to distinctly hear blades and gears violently turning just beneath her.

I cannot fucking picture this happening for the life of me.

It's difficult to explain, but in her eyes I could see she didn't want to be saved as she genuinely felt she had earned the suffering she was enduring.

Edgy as fuck, okay.

She believed she deserved to be ground up until there was nothing left. Once she was pulled completely under I was finally given a physical form in the dream. Dropping from above I landed on the soil she disappeared in. I immediately dropped to my knees and began digging with my bare hands to get to Abbi. I was only inches deep before the ground ripped open forcing me to jump back.

Okay uh.

I have no valid words that could express how I feel right now.

A deep canyon began to form central to where I had begun digging. The splitting and groaning quickly gained momentum. Ripping and screeching sounds erupted all around me as the earth divided before me at a now crippling rate. A hellish sight consumed my eyes as I looked down on the collapsing landmass below. Powerful machines wielding massive blades swung violently scraping dirt and rock with a sound so tremendous I could only faintly hear the screams of countless desperate humans below.

This is just.

Not okay.

I quickly realized the terrified voices beyond the ripping blades were no illusion.

But this is a dream.

Which means it’s an illusion.

Thousands of lives were being devoured in piles, no person among them begging for life rather, like Abbi, they screamed only from pain delivered not just by the roaring blades and gears, but their very existence itself. Suffering & consciousness had become one in the same.

You are not poetic.

Shut the literal fuck up.

I then woke up to my room filled with sunlight, but it could not change the darkness my dream left me with. I felt something inside me change, almost as if I had seen something I was never meant to and now had to find a way to lose the thick cloud freshly looming over my head.

I hate you.

It is as I said briefly before, I feel like a visitor here, like I'm in this world but not a part of it like everyone else.

Shut up, you pretentious asshole.

I study people and situations to find out how they work and sometimes my dreams fill in the emotions and thoughts I missed while I was awake.

Yes, so you’ve said, in a very creepy non-human way.

Not having to go to school that day due to my suspension I decided to write a letter to Abbi.

Cool. Awesome. This won’t be cringey at all.

It read:"When I look in your eyes... I at times feel a level of sadness I have never felt, as if we, despite barely knowing each other, have been apart for far too long.

Excuse me, that’s incredibly creepy.

When I talk to you it is like I am listening to a voice I've ached for yet haven't heard in a lifetime. Every other experience I have with you seems familiar but at the same time, it hurts, like you would feel if you begged for something and only received it when you had already given up hope.

More word salad.

These feelings are all so strange and evolving at a rate that scares me as they are for someone I am only just now truly getting to know.

Even with my brief presence in your life I've picked up on so much suffering and almost feel powerless to create any change.

This is so alarming and creepy and you need to stop.

There are so many wounds, so many scars, so much I only know enough about to fear. I'm trying to understand. Abbi, you have more pain in your life than I can imagine. I hear it in your voice, I see it in your eyes and in the way you move. I just want to see you smile without there being an ocean wall of tears behind your eyes. I want to hear everything you have to say. I want to find a way to heal the damage done until you can forget it ever existed.

THE ONLY FUCKING PROPER REACTION TO THIS LETTER IS TO MOVE TO ANOTHER CONTINENT.

I sent the letter to her email address, moments later the phone rang. Answering the phone I heard Abbi's voice on the other end.

"Hey, can you meet me at the Quick Shop?" she asked.

I responded, "Did you see my email?"

She replied "Nope, why didn't you just call?"

I said, "It would've been really hard to say over the phone, I had to find the words."

She replied, "Ok, I'll look and then I'll head over."

I then confirmed "Sure, see you there".

Yikes.

Shortly after, I got dressed and skated over to meet her. I arrived quickly, thanks to what seemed to be a record speed for me. However once I arrived I found myself waiting for someone who now had no intention of meeting me. I could only assume I had just made myself look like a huge jerk to her. I attempted to call her from the nearby payphone and she didn't answer.

What did you expect? That she wouldn’t find that fucking creepy?

As I skated home, in my mind, I went through the letter I wrote over and over. I began to blame myself, concluding based on her absence that I must have dug too deep too fast.

I scared her away because I reacted on the emotions I experienced in that dream before actually considering the human being on the other side of the letter.

Yeah, at least you’re fucking self aware for once.

I felt like I was just about finally connect with someone only to ruin everything at the last minute.

That’s your own fault. Don’t bitch about it.

Okay, chapter 4.

My suspension had been lifted and I had just arrived back at Lakewood High. Approaching my history class I could hear people snickering as they watched me walk by.

Someone screamed "Wuss! Learn how to fight!" behind me but I just kept walking.

I feel like I’ve read shit like this before.

Oh.

Yeah, it reads like any angsty Wattpad story ever.

As I sat down in class Mr. Hanson walked up to me, he placed his hand on my shoulder and spoke under his breath so others would not hear "Don't worry about the work you missed, ok James?"

It would be preferable that you didn’t use ‘ok’ instead of the word ‘okay.’

But this is terrible, so I don’t have high expectations. I don’t know what I expected.

I looked up at him and he gave me a slight smile. I suppose it's because he felt bad that I was beaten up shortly after trying to get Jason to leave the class alone. It was a lucky break too considering Mr. Hanson's class was one of the few I didn't stop by to see what work I would miss before beginning my suspension.

No. No. That isn’t this teacher’s job. He needs to grade something, and if James didn’t do the work, it would be immoral to put good grades in the grade book when this is the case.

I approached the art trailer feeling panicked over what to expect. I hated that I said anything to Abbi, that I overstepped my bounds and acted like I knew her when I was only going off my own dream-influenced emotional intuition.

Intuition my ass. That dream means nothing at all. Shut your pretentious mouth.

I felt a conflicted hatred towards myself for jeopardizing a relationship with someone that was so important to me.

MY FUCKING GOD YOU’VE HAD THREE CONVERSATIONS WITH HER.

If she did give up on me, I could only blame myself.

Yes. You can.

Opening the door I could see Abbi wasn't inside, instead there were just pieces of my bear sewn to pieces of her bear sitting on her desk. Maybe I was reading too far into what it meant, I could really only hope that there was something left to us that I could sew back together.

If I have to read another bullshit waxing poetic thing, I’m gonna scream. My eyes are already glazing over.

Walking closer I could see something sticking out just beneath the bear.

It was a note that read: "James, meet me behind the church when you get this."

Immediately, I thought of the church neighboring Lakewood High.

I find it bullshit that James was immediately able to figure out what church Abbi meant when she didn’t even specify which church she was talking about.

I stuffed my backpack inside the desk

Your backpack fits in a desk? Either the desk has a large compartment, your bag is nearly empty, or your bag is very small.

I’m going with the last option because it’s the funniest.

and quickly made my way off campus to meet Abbi.

You left your bag in class and just left?

What is wrong with you?

As I approached the church there was a strong forceful wind blowing behind me that made it feel as if I was being pushed to her by nature itself.

I really hate you pretending to be deep, Onion.

I felt like a fool for thinking that, I'm far too unimportant for any significant force to consciously influence my life. I walked around the church only to hear Abbi say loudly "James!" I turned to see her standing under an overhang that reached out from the church.

That is called an awning.

I walked over to her and began to apologize for the letter, but she cut me off saying "Why did you write that to me?"

A valid question.

I responded "I wanted to separate myself from everyone else in your eyes. I wanted you to know I was trying to understand you, all of..."

She interrupted "How messed up do you think I am James? How screwed do you think my life is exactly? Because if you had any social skills, you might know that saying to someone what you did, is... I'm not damaged goods... I'm not broken!"

Her voice was giving out as she began tearing up. "I'm sorry... I was..." I said, helplessly watching tears fall down her face.

This is a confusing and mechanical interaction.

"I was wrong... but I'm here, and I will be as long as you let me." I said.

She wiped her tears and struggled to speak. "The reason you saw what you did, in my eyes, my voice..." she continued to struggle as she cried "You saw the bruises from my ex, but you wanted to know everything."

You two have known each other for two fucking days. Like, you’ve only spoke four times now.

She paused to wipe her tears again. I listened carefully as she continued to speak "James... I haven't been beaten just one or two times..."

I would care more if there was any buildup to this moment or any character development that would make me like this girl.

But there isn’t.

So I feel nothing while reading this, and that is both incredibly boring and unfulfilling, as well as genuinely kind of creepy.

The fact that this does not evoke emotion in me when I should be feeling some form of empathy instead of the apathy I feel disturbs me.

Abbi said as she looked at me as if every word was agonizing for her to say.

I would like to know why she’s telling this to a guy she barely knows.

With tear soaked eyes she continued, "I've been violated beyond that James... by people who called me their friend, people I trusted took advantage of me and that killed so much of who I am... who I was."

I am so concerned that I don’t feel anything here. Are you guys feeling anything?

Her face was consumed with stress, her body shook but she managed to continue, "My mother abandoned me and left me with my father who doesn't even care if I live..." before she could finish I wrapped my arms around her.

She dug her fingers into my back as she pulled me closer and cried into my chest.

As we held each other I said, "You were never damaged, only changed. Any part of you that you think died is just hidden, waiting to come out when it's safe..."

I want to actually die.

Abbi squeezed me even tighter.

I continued, "Every time I see you, you become more beautiful to me than before."

She gripped me more tightly than anyone ever had. She was finally hearing everything she wanted someone to say to her and I was saying everything I wanted Abbi to hear, that is, most everything.

Okay, cool.

I just... This is such a gross fetishization of abuse? It makes my stomach twist. I also feel strange that I can’t feel any form of emotion for these characters beyond annoyance.

It actually bothers me deeply.

This is the opposite effect you want to have on your readers, Onion. you want your characters to be relatable and real so your readers can connect with them and feel something for them. Well written characters are ones you can get attached to.

These characters are poorly written, which is why I cannot relate to them or get attached to them. I’m not saying I’m any kind of master at writing characters, but Abbi has no personality of her own other than the fact that she’s an abuse victim, and the fact that that is all is concerning. I don’t even know what she looks like.

James is the most pretentious, condescending narrator in the world and it makes me physically recoil while I read from his point of view. He is nihilistic, bleak, creepy, and very flavorless. He’s boring as all hell, and again, I don’t even know what he looks like.

Does Onion just forget to describe his characters? It makes it very hard to visualize anything with them.

Okay. I’ll see you guys in chapter five.

This book is actually repulsive.

~Kat

[granddaughter-ogg-toshi-blog]

Aizawa VS Toshi’s reader girlfriend

The whole man was creeping you out. He always looked scruffy and exhausted, with black unkempt hair falling over a face that held an eternal expression you’d best describe as “out of fucks to give.” This raggedy weirdo clearly gave some fucks about you. They were just not...positive fucks.

“I've never seen Toshinori Yagi this happy, and apparently, no one else has. If you break his heart, I will break your bones."

Warning - mentions of sex work.

Of course, Toshi introduced you to his acquaintances.

You'd waver to actually call them "friends". It seemed that the most popular hero in Japan didn't have many. He'd explained this to you in a ruefully stoic manner. You were left with no urge to pry further.

So - his fellow teachers. Most of them seemed nice, if a bit eccentric.

They would be, you'd remind yourself. They were living the high-octane life of crimefighting and wrangling moody teenagers (you couldn't decide which job scares you more.) Nether the less, these colourful folks accepted you into the fold. They seemed glad that All Might is ("finally!" as Present Mic shouted into your ear) living his best life post-retirement.

You liked this Mic. He was a loud, excitable fellow with a penchant for spikes and silly hair. He doused you with infectious enthusiasm, providing an instant sense of camaraderie. You could tell that Toshi is fond of him, too; no matter how much of a wilted violet he appeared to be when standing next to the motormouth.

Then there was Midnight. A bold, self-assured woman who refused to feel bad for making men horny. The world was her lingerie catwalk, while the bystanders' stiffies were entirely on them. You couldn't help but endorse such spunk. Midnight took you under her well-manicured wing and requested to know All The Juicy Details. Fending this woman off seemed like art you’ll have to master, for when it came to her, basic tact was something that happened to other people.

There was Cementoss, a quiet, unassuming man who seemed to respect Toshi a great deal.

And then there was Aizawa. Damn Aizawa. You couldn't tell who All Might was to him, exactly. He'd treat your man with the same scathing deadpan he served to anyone else. Except you. You, as it seemed, were not worth his barbs.

He was wary around Toshinori’s sweetheart.

He’d keep his distance. He'd ignore any of your awkward attempts at making small talk. This dude has perfected flat, dismissive silence to a fine edge. Someone mentioned once that Aizawa-kun doesn't make friends easily.

You couldn't help but wonder how did he make any at all.

This man would avoid socializing with you like an alley tomcat that doesn't want your treats.   All the same, wherever you're turned your back at him...you’d feel his bloodshot eyes watching you. Boring into the back of your skull.

His dark stare had an almost gravitational pull to it. It was exasperating. Yet the moment you spun on your heels, ready to pounce, ready to ask "what's your problem, dude?" - Aizawa would just shrug and walk away.

It started to creep you out.

The whole man was creeping you out. He always looked scruffy and exhausted, with black unkempt hair falling over a face that held an eternal expression you’d best describe as “out of fucks to give.” This raggedy weirdo clearly gave some fucks about you. They were just not...positive fucks.

One day you decided to do something about it. That stupid tension was bad for your nerves, and you were sure Toshi’s gonna notice it sooner or later. You didn’t want to worry your beloved beanpole of a man. Less even - to cause him grief. And that's what would happen if he was to know that one of his coworkers indirectly gives you shit.

An occasion presented itself a week later. The teachers were getting out together after hours. Naturally, Toshi proposed that you join them. He was ears deep in amorous high, having an actual girlfriend to parade around for the first time in who-knows-how-long (you certainly didn’t.) No one wanted to snag this pink cloud of bliss from under him. Not by suggesting that you and Class 1A homeroom teacher don’t go along. You certainly didn’t.

A few hours later the empty soba dishes layered the table at the small, cosy joint, while collars got looser and moods got way lighter. You watched Toshi grinning, flushed from the minuscule amount of drink that he probably shouldn’t have, deep in some conversation with his friends. There was a lot of commotion going on; there had to be wherever Mic was, ahem, present. Laughter rang in the air. You’ve had the rest of this sake that Toshi wetted his lips in ("Indirect kiss...oh my!" he'd observe with innocent glee, and you giggled), so the idea that flashed in your brain seemed perfect. Right now he wouldn’t mind if you disappeared for a while...right?

“I’ll be right back, love”, you murmured into the pointy ear, which emerged from that ruffled flaxen hair. Oh, how you loved that bush. Had to mentally restrain oneself from submerging your face in it now, when the others were watching. Your man gave you a tipsy smile and went back to what he was saying. You stood up and made a beeline for the restroom.

Passing Aizawa on the way, you whispered sharply: “You. Asshole. Follow me.”

It was not a very cordial invitation. To your deepest astonishment - it worked.

Damn, that guy could walk like a cat, too. The utter absence of sound from his footsteps made the little hairs on your nape stand straight.

You two went outside, where the summer Japanese night was in full bloom; the huge moon, the flower petals bristling in the wind, the cicadas doing their thing.

It didn’t sweeten your mood one bit. You faced the guy - a dark, motionless silhouette with arms folded on his chest - and shot away what was coiling on the back of your tongue:

“Wow, so you do react to words.”

“Whenever it feels necessary.” That was not even a jab. It was a bare statement of a fact. You felt dismissed, and that made you angry.

“What is your deal, Aizawa-san?” you asked, trying to penetrate the dark, to peer into those dispassionate eyes.

“You'll have to be more precise than that.”

“I mean it!” He wasn't much taller, but you felt a sudden, desperate urge to stand on your toes so that he would finally take you seriously. Approached you like an adult. "You've made a huge deal of avoiding me all this time. I don't want Toshi to feel bad about this, but he's bound to notice. What's your problem with me? Do I stink?" A normal person would probably chuckle. Aizawa remained silent - and as immobile as if his feet were planted in the ground. The silence lingered. Thank fuck for the enthusiastic cicadas. "Well then?..." That was one step - just one move, impossibly fluid and frightfully fast. Suddenly Aizawa Shota was all up in your grill. Your throat got dry.

"You ask what is my problem with you?" The words felt like bullets, each one fast and precise, no room for any sugar to coat their lead at all. Deadly.

"My problem is that I don't trust you. Who are you? Where did you come from? He’s lived this heroic celibate existence for years now, and suddenly there's a much younger woman, attached to him at the hip. A quirkless one, from what I gather. Non-Japanese. A complete outsider. So I'm gonna ask you: what do you want from All Might? What is your deal?"

Your lips probably formed a perfect O. You took two long, staggering breaths, one after another. Then you tried your damnedest to compose oneself. This was preposterous...and very, very rude. But this guy obviously couldn't care less, and his offhand approach had some foundation in common sense. For All Might was a national treasure, a worldwide-known celebrity, and you were nothing. The jerkass had a point. So you spoke. "Who am I, indeed? Perfectly no one. I could tell you how Toshi and I met, but it was not one bit the romantic affair he makes it to be." Aizawa unfolded his arms and stuck his hands into his pockets. "Try me." You inhaled slowly. Truth or dare. "I used to be a sugar baby. That's a fancy millenial name for a sex worker. I bet such a down-to-earth man as yourself is familiar with the term." Aizawa nodded. "Toshi...I mean, All Might saved my life. Literally. It was just before that...thing which happened in Kamino. I was getting home after a gig, my purse bursting with banknotes, and some small-time punk decided I'm his next meal ticket. I kicked him in the groin and cried for help. And boy, did the help came."

You could not smile at that distant memory.

"All Might made sure that I got home safely. He was such a sweetheart. I thought: hey, what the hell, it's not like I'm gonna meet a man like this ever again, not within this shitty existence I'm living. So I gave him my number. Told him who I was - or rather, what I was. He didn't care. One thing led to another...and here we are months later. I love him."

You tried to keep your voice firm and level. You really tried.

Aizawa listened intently. You could almost feel the cogs under that ratty hair turning. "It was the logical thing to do", he said finally. His voice was calm. "Excuse me?" "Giving him your number. You found yourself at the end of that particular line, saw a light in the tunnel, and decided to grasp that light." You stared into his pale, unshaven face, looking for any trace of mockery. Was this socially challenged bastard judging you? "You think it’s a bad thing that I did?" Your voice got a little wet. Scratchy. Aizawa shook his dark head. "Not in the slightest. Judging from the outcome, I'd say it was for the best for both parties involved." Your eyes went wide. You sure as hell didn't expect this. "Well then? Are we good?" "Just one thing." He lifted a finger. "Do you know how gullible this man is? How desperately starved for affection?" You felt your pulse rush. "Now then, that's completely uncalled for -" Aizawa seemed undeterred with your discomfort. Those dark eyes remained glued to your face. "Do you?" You gulped. "Well, he goes out of his way to see the best in everyone..." you ventured. He clicked his tongue. "Exactly. And that's what makes him vulnerable. I've never seen All Might this happy, and apparently, no one else has. If you break his heart, I will break your bones." "Like hell I would!" you snapped, furious. You stood there, glaring at this impossible bastard, and he glared back. You must've looked like two samurai from an old movie. But who has just dealt the victorious blow? "Oh, I see," you grinned finally. "This is your way of caring for him. How very sweet." Aizawa hissed under his breath like a miffed feline. "I don't care for him." "Yes, you do. Yes you do! You're a good friend to have, Aizawa-san, even if a little unorthodox in your approach." He emitted a sound that could only be described as a "tch", shrugged and spun on his heel, showing you that this conversation is over. "Yeah, let's get back inside", you cooed. "Toshi's probably looking for me right now." "...don't tell him what I just told you." "Oh, I wouldn't for the world. It's gonna be our dirty little secret." "Tch."

[melyaliz]

Scribbles

Fandom: Marvel / X-men Movies 

Summary: Soulmate AU where whatever they write on their skin goes on their soulmates and person A keeps drawing dicks because they think it’s funny that they will show up on person B.  and person B having to constantly cover them up and like “who the FUCK is this asshole!”

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x OC 

Notes: First off yes, I know I have a few requests and this isn’t one of them but… I was inspired (Like 8 pages inspired) 

Gemma is my new oc that I am working on at the moment I’ll probably post her character sheet soon plus MAYBE finish her full story. 

Anyway, she grew up in a pretty christen household (thinking she may be a pastor's daughter) And I totally HC that Peter is TOTALLY the kind of guy who would draw on himself. 

So the image of like Gemma having to go to church with a HUGE dick on her arm and has to wear a sweater in summer and stuff was just too funny to pass up on. 

I honestly didn’t know how to end this so I just kind of did?

Promise requests will be coming soon :D 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​​

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

———--------------------------------------------------

Peter had already been suspended from writing on textbooks and his desk and with his notebook confiscated there was nothing left but his arm. 

 Freedom of expression man.

Plus the monster eating the freckle on his left arm was tiring out really good. 

“Mr. Maximoff, do you have anything of value to add to our discussion today?” 

“Huh?”

“That’s what I thought.” 

Peter frowned his brown eyes scanning the board for a moment taking in the information before glancing over at Karen’s notes. Pride and prejudice was as boring as it sounded. Wasn’t that kind of a chick book anyway?

“Yeah, I’m good” Peter added putting his hands behind his back as his teacher his arm and art clearly visible for the teacher to see just to prove his defiance to this book. 

However, the teacher didn’t react and just went back to the front of the class.

Confused Peter looked at his arm. 

It was blank. 

-*-

“Gemma what did you do to your arm!?!” 

Gemma glanced down at her arm, the sleeve of her rolled up Catholic school uniform visibly showed the dark drawings of monsters eating helpless woman. “Uhhh I…”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you go to that Iron Maiden concert,” her mother and school’s math teacher said grabbing her daughter pulling her toward the bathroom. “Your body is a temple” 

“Mom I promise? I have no idea how I got this!” 

Her mother paused for a moment looking down at her daughter’s arm, the permanent dark images now bleeding down her pale skin making them look even more grotesque. 

“I wonder…” 

“What Mom?” 

“So you didn’t draw on yourself?”

“I mean I have before but this isn’t me I’m not this good. Honest, I know it sounds crazy but it just showed up after science. Bobby was laughing about it and I was so confused.” Gemma adding a little More soap to her arm blowing away a few strands of her white-blonde hair out of her face, “besides I’m not stupid enough to draw demons on my arm at a Catholic school”

“It could be your soulmate” 

“Huh?” Gemma turned to her mom who was now rummaging in her bag for something. Once she found it she pulled out her pen handing it to her daughter.

“Write something”

“What happened to my body is a temple?” 

“Too late now” her mother laughed motioning to the melting monsters. “Go ahead”

“What should I draw?” Nerves bubbling up inside her. Weird how nervous you can suddenly get. 

“Anything you want.” 

Growing Gemma placed the pen to her skin pausing for a moment trying to think about what to draw. 

HELLO 

-*-

Bold block letters running down the length of his arm stopping at his wrist. Peter had already gotten a detention slip for mouthing off to his teacher and was now tapping his pencil on his desk as he sat there. Board out of his mind… until now. 

Curious he glanced down at his arm looking over the words now scrolled boldly over his arm. 

Interesting. 

“Maximoff are we going to have a problem?” 

“Nope” came the distracted respond as Peter slowly drew a question mark behind the Hello.

-*-

?

A simple question mark drew itself next to one of the monsters making him look more inquisitive than scary. Gemma bit her lip trying not to laugh during her English class. 

Poor little guy, he was more confused that she was. Probably wondering why she had tried to erase him from her arm. 

-*-

 Could you not use a permanent marker? These monsters will never come off. 

Neat full circles looped across the top of his arm before one of his monsters came back to him in bright pink sharpie. Obviously traced. 

Oh, it’s on. 

Pulling out his VERY permanent maker Peter started to draw. 

-*-

“Shit” Gemma hissed as the huge dick and balls appeared on her hand. The shaft stretching from her hand down to her wrist. 

“Miss Gemma? Is there something you would like to say to the class?” 

Quickly she hid her hand under her desk “nope.” 

“What are you hiding?” 

“Nothing sister”

“Then pull up your hands” as Gemma slowly planted her hands on the desk the nun gasped “GEMMA!” 

“It’s not me!”

“Who else would do that? And when because I don’t remember seeing any phallic images on you before” 

“I…” 

“Detention” 

Tossing her books and supplies into her backpack Gemma stood up walking off to detention, Sister Maryann stopped her handing her a bar of soap. Gemma looked down at it wondering where in the hell she had even been hiding that. Although Sister Maryann was known for washing kids mouths out with soap when they “took the Lord's name in vain” so maybe this was the mouth soap. 

-*-

Actual size Bold thick and large lettering hung over a small dick laying limp on the same hand he had drawn his own gorgeous penis drawing. 

Which of course, appeared right as he was flirting with Suzie, the cutest girl in school. 

“You have something on your hand…” the pretty brunette said nodding toward Peter’s hand which was holding her own as he “explained” the best way to use a joystick on the newest arcade game that had been put in across the street from their high school.   

“Are you kidding me!?!” Peter said pulling his hand quickly away, “Freak used permanent marker too”  

“What did it say?” Suzie giggled trying to get a look at his hand as her jock boyfriend walked up throwing an arm over her. 

“What up Petey?” 

“His hand just got this weird mark on it.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yep, got to go, see you both later fellow classmates,” Peter said saluting before dashing off probably a little faster than he should have. 

“This asshole” he hissed as he quickly ran his hand under the water trying to rub it off face slightly flushed with embarrassment over having the girl of his dreams see it. And they had been getting along so well too!

Oh it was on now. 

-*-

“This asshole” Gemma laughed as she scrubbed her arm with the hard bar of soap. Leave it to Sister Maryann to have the magic cure for something that shouldn’t be cured. While her hand was now rubbed raw from scrubbing, the large dick was no longer scrolled across her hand and the monsters were all but faded away. 

Letting out a triumphant laugh she looked into the mirror a huge smile on her face. 

Which faded into shock as her reflection looked back at her. 

Her face with a huge twisted mustache drawn across her upper lip. 

“SON OF A BITCH!” 

Soulmate my ass. This person was the devil incarnate. 

-*-

Nothing. 

Peter checked everywhere, even stripping down to make sure there wasn’t anything written on… his precious bits. 

But no. Nothing came up.

Guess he had won. 

Something he through of proudly as he continued to doodle across his arms and legs. He never wrote on his face again and kept things mostly contained.

Although he would draw the occasional risque image in a fun place just to see if he would get a reaction. 

Not that he cared.

Not that it mattered.

It wasn’t like the thought of having someone out there that he could always talk to, was always there no matter what was something he wanted. 

Nope, not at all. 

Although when the cuts and bruises started to form he got a little worried. They got worse as time went on. Large hand size bruises and burns running all over his body. It was as if whoever that was on the other side was part of some fight club or something. 

During that time was the only time he truly addressed them.

Are you ok? 

-*-

Gemma rubbed her arm nervously as she walked through Xavier's school for gifted children. Led by the man himself it, Charles Xavier. 

She didn’t belong here, among the heroes. After being brainwashed to become nothing more than a weapon in some twisted man’s army Gemma felt like the silly catholic school girl who had a closeted love for Heavy Metal music was like a stranger to her. In her place was this strange woman now walking through a fog of uncertainty. 

The words Are you ok had almost faded from her arm but she had refused to wash it away. It had been a reminder that morning that something may have been wrong. That maybe those strange dreams she was having and those wounds she was waking up with were maybe not just nothing. 

That small warning that had been the tipping point. An almost literal wakeup call that had ended with her coming to this place filled with other mutants. People who had helped set her free from her prison. Break free from the mind control she had been under.

And faced with the reality of what she had unknowingly done under that man’s control she had no idea where to go from there. 

Where did she belong?  

-*-

It was faint but Peter saw it as she pointed toward the library asking Charles a question. Faded little gray letters, rushed and fast, scribbled across her underarm. 

He didn’t need to know what they said, he already knew. 

-*-

Turn  Around

Gemma blinked in confusion as the bold messy words flashed onto her hand. 

What? 

How?

Turning she saw him, the speedster, Peter, standing a few feet behind her, a permanent marker in his hand with a huge smile on his face.

“Hello.” 

Shock. 

It washed over her like cold water.

For years she had wondered who that total ass was who had continued to plague her body with drawings. Her once perfect record marred with endless visits to the principle and detention. Gemma had always been a fly under the radar kind of girl, just be middle of the road and go unseen. Yet all those colorful drawings and even more colorful words had made her stand out in ways she had never dreamed of. 

Who was that person? Why were they doing this? How come they didn’t seem to care? After all, it was clear there was someone else was getting marred by those drawings.

A million questions flew through her mind and even more memories. 

Yet nothing seemed to come out.

“Bet you never thought you would be this lucky,” Peter said running his fingers through his silver hair. “I mean you basically hit the jackpot of soulmates.” 

“You…” her hands flickered with energy, emotions building up inside her spilling out, “total ASS!” 

Peter went flying across the hallway as she shot him, not enough to hurt him just kind of give him a taste of what he had been doing to her for the past 8ish years. 

“Could you two maybe…. I guess not” Charles groaned as Gemma’s second blast missed a much wiser Peter, blowing up a beautiful 16th-century vase.

“It took me a WEEK to wash off that stupid dick you drew across my chest! And that during prom weekend” 

Peter was laughing as he grabbed Gemma taking her outside where they could hash this out somewhere safe. 

“So what kind of dress did you wear to prom?” Peter asked looking her over trying to picture it, a cute little red (or maybe blue to match her eyes) dress with a big of black dick drawn up her chest the tip peeking out of the collar.

“A cardigan thanks to you.”

“Awww what’s the fun in that?” 

“I went to a Catholic school.” 

Peter stood there for a moment the image of her in a little catholic uniform covered in his demon and phallic drawings was just…

Perfect.

“Jesus Christ you didn’t!?!” he doubled over laughing as she watched him trying to fight back a smile. Honestly, after everything she had been through the memories of her trying to scrub off little devils and titties off her arms and legs felt almost… 

Comforting. 

As annoying as they were, those drawings had kind of been comforting. They set her apart, let her know (as weird as he was) there was someone out there that was all her’s. Yes the dicks and the tits were annoying but there were also some pretty cool song lyrics that had helped her to discover music she hadn’t heard before. 

He was like her annoying little secret that broke out away from the everydayness of her very normal life.  

Plus she had to admit, it was a pretty funny image looking back. 

Not that she would EVER admit any of this to him. At least not right now. 

“You owe me big.” 

“Oh, Gemma I promise, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“Why do I get the feeling your idea of making it up to me is going to be different than what mean?” 

“Maybe being soulmates always means you can read my mind?” he said leaning forward wagging his eyebrows. Gemma couldn’t help but laugh up at him as he took a step back holding out his hand.

“Friends?” 

“Friends.” 

As she took his hand Gemma had a feeling that much like the first time those little monsters appeared on her arms, her life was going to be filled with many more surprises. 

-GET TAGGED!- 

Tagging: @royslittleharper​​​  @the-shadow-of-atlantis​​​ @coffee-randomness​​​ @daisyboobear​​​ @nilthanious​​  @jason-redhood​​ @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr​ @ocelysium​ @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep

[kaisooficrec]

College AU Request

This is part two of this post. 

Last college au request was over a year ago and since this is a very popular au the list is insanely long! There are some fics older than the last req but that weren’t recommended yet so I included those too ^^ enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos & comments to the authors ♡♡♡

La Taille Parfaite - (ongoing) soulmates au, kyungsoo dreams of his soulmate’s dick and can’t wait to meet him

Criminally Romantic - kyungsoo is an author and jongin is a huge fan

Yes, the Brisket is Braised - (ongoing) Kyungsoo works part-time in a restaurant in which he meets the campus’ most popular jock jongin and is an asshole to him

Our Season - (ongoing) wolf & abo, they’re in the same frat house and are attracted to each other, but there are other guys who want a piece of kyungsoo’s ass (read: junmyeon is a little piece of shit)

The Deflowering of Do Kyungsoo - (ongoing) kyungsoo is very insecure about himself but jongin loves him and wants to show him just how much 

Sucker + Supermassive Black Hole - last two parts of a series where the boys are in college, established relationship, they deal with the struggles of life and how to keep their love going

Flawless - (ongoing) kyungsoo likes to crossdress which make people judgmental about him. he thought jongin was like all those people who make fun of him but jongin genuinely likes him

this gap can’t keep us apart - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in college and takes the bus every morning where he meets businessman!jongin and they start talking and getting close. turns out jongin is sehun’s older brother who is kyungsoo’s friend and they meet at their house when jongin discovered his girlfriend cheated on him again

Prank Gone Wrong - kai is a known prankster, so his bf ksoo decides to prank him instead one day. it backfires in a way he didn’t expect

Coffee - jongin found out taemin cheated on him which led him to the cafe where kyungsoo works~

Wild Flowers Worth Knowing - (ongoing) ot12 vampire au, kyungsoo’s life has changed for good after discovering vamp!jongin’s secret

i just need the time and place to come through - after ksoo’s been dumped jongin wants to teach how to fuck around, until he realizes he doesn’t want anyone else to have kyungsoo but him

run batted in - sports au, they’re from different colleges and during a competition they meet and voilà it’s instant love

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in a studio art class and jongin is his nude model

lately all i want is you on top of me - *cries hearts* they both think they’re straight until jongin accidentally sends a pic of his ass to kyungsoo and it marks the beginning of their gayness

Campaigning For Your Heart - elections au, enemies to lovers, they both support different people and get into heated arguments, which is all just bottled up sexual tension really

there are no wrong mistakes - /heart attack/ kyungsoo is a homebody who’s quiet and thinks he is boring. his roommate’s best friend thinks otherwise. 

Pay Me Some Mind - (how was this not recced before? lol) fwb to lovers, kyungsoo doesnt know jongin’s had a crush on him for a while but that doesn’t stop him from catching feelings

Hurricanes - *my absolute fav* bad boy!jongin meets not-so-innocent!soo and they fuck, but kyungsoo thinks its a mistake and jongin is intrigued (liiiight angst)

You times infinite - they become study buddies and then kyungsoo is turned into a vampire and doesn’t know how to stay close to jongin without hurting him

A Certain Romance - sports au, they’re from different schools but during a competition, a certain captain catches ksoo’s attention and maybe he’s interested in football after all

Signal Lost (& Found) - /looooove this/ soulmates & coffee shop au, jongin gets tattoos of what his soulmate draws since he was a child and then one day it disappears, and he’s confused about what happened to his soulmate

Just Say You Want Me (That’s All It Takes) - god yes. established relationship and library fucking with top!soo and slut shaming. need i say more?

A Different Morning - (YEEEES) childhood bffs!kaisoo and vlogger!jongin, MUTUAL PINING but they’re both oblivious!!! 

Break a Leg - drama club au i liiiive for this! they had a one night stand and ksoo is kind of a bitter asshole who doesn’t want anything to do with super popular jongin after it

vertigo; crash - abo, omega!soo is accidentally put in the alpha dorms and jongin thinks he hates him

Clandestine Romance - arranged marriage but they love each other, ksoo is in his last year of college and his husband turns up to become his new dance teacher

Pumped Up Kinks - (ongoing) kyungsoo goes to a gay strip club for his 21st birthday and gets more than he bargained for

We Can Go Home - broken kaisoo, jongin has to ask his ex for help in maths, and then... KISS & MAKE UP

Mirrors - (ongoing) ksoo is a famous youtuber whose fans start a online fanwar with kim jongin’s fans. he decides to be mature about it and text jongin himself to apologize

So You Have a Crush (Here's How You Grapple with It) - sports au, jongin is a taekwondo player and has a crush on the judo captain ksoo, and tries to get him to teach him chokehold techniques. (smutttt)

Hair - (ongoing) kyungsoo found out he has stage 2 spinal cancer, so he decides that he wants to take some risks before he has to die, like have sex with a guy. and this is how he meets jongin

If Only I Knew - soulmates au, jongin wants to wait to find his soulmate to be in a relationship but when he meets kyungsoo he changes his mind (warning: character death)

Some Kind of Start - ksoo likes jongin and the latter knows but chooses to ignore it since he doesn’t like him back. sehun asks ksoo to fake date so he can make junmyeon jealous, but jongin is also a victim of jealousy

hold onto me tight and never let go - het!kaisoo with fem!soo, she has trouble letting go of her barriers and jongin really wants to get to know her more

P.S. You're Cute - (ongoing) jongin liked his senior’s profile on tinder and they matched

Cloud9 - transition from hs to college, jongin expressed his crush for ksoo although nothing happened, they meet again five years later in college

Perfection - vocal major!ksoo meets dance major!nini and decides he likes him and will take care of him

A Slice of Summer Love - jongin has a crush on the pizza delivery guy and orders too much pizza (very cute uwu)

I’m sorry I broke your hand, date me so I can make it up to you (kinda) - jongin tripped during a party and groped ksoo’s ass by accident, and ksoo’s reaction was to break his arm, but he took care of him as a form of apology

Aspartame (Just As Sweet) - jongin’s friend creates him an account on a sugar daddy website as a joke but he was curious and kept it and met kyungsoo

Kim Jongin's Must Kiss List - after an accident during a bake sale in high school, ksoo doesn’t stand jongin. in college nini puts up a “would kiss” list with ksoo’s name on it among others, and an angry ksoo retaliates by putting up a “would never kiss” list with only nini’s name on it, which is the start of everything

Love In Control - bdsm!au in which kyungsoo wanted a partner that would understand his needs and how to dominate him, and that person is kim jongin (warning: obviously bdsm and everything that comes with it. please read the tags carefully!)

No buts, just beauty - wolf au, kyungsoo is bullied and being told he’s ugly, jongin is making sure he feels beautiful

[Ain't] My Fault - top!soo greatness :-) they meet while jongin’s still with sehun but they break up soon after bc sehun cheated on him, and ksoo’s here to pick up the broken pieces

Treasure Trove - dragon au, ksoo is sick n jongin went to his room to give him candy and then they netflix and chill (literally)

Waiting for You to Make a Move - i’m fucking in love with this fic omg ;___; JONGIN IS A DRUM PLAYER and they were crushing on each other during the bus ride in the morning and then ksoo goes to chanyeol’s band’s gig and THERE HE IS JONGIN THAT SEXY MOTHERFUCKER. yes read it please (smut)

This is a start of something new.. - police officer!soo goes to check a college party that wasn’t reported and is stuck with a flirty jongin

Cafe Eau Laid - /sweats profusely/ wolf au and coffee shop au, jongin has a crush on a cute costumer that comes otfen but thinks the friend that comes along is his boyfriend when he’s really just an idiot. (public sex n size kink, you know its good)

My Universe - set in college au but it’s also mama au, jongin is having weird dreams that seem like memories of another life, and dreams of a certain guy that he seems close with.

Sweep You Off Your Feet (Or Mop Around) - kyungsoo works as a janitor at nini’s college to help support his family. they get to know each other and kyungsoo doesn’t tell him he’s not a student but after an incident, he’s fired from the job and has to forget about jongin as well

This is the college au tag for older requests ♡

- Admin Macaroon

[unendingly-random]

This is my first time really trying to art since elementary school when my art teacher told me I couldn’t do art (whatever that means). I’m 25. Since then, anytime I tried to art in any form, I’d get stressed out and quit. On a whim, a friend challenged me to draw a nude. I was happily surprised to find this didn’t stress me out at all. Obviously it’s not the best thing ever drawn but it was so huge for me to get something on the paper at all. So I guess my point with all this is two-fold:

1. Don’t tell children that they can’t do things. That shit fucks people up.

2. Even if an asshole ruined something for you for a long time, you can eventually learn to enjoy it again.

[avengerscompound]

Bringing Home Kobik - 6

Bringing Home Kobik: A Winterhawk Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton

Word Count:  2239

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Smut on the series (M|M, oral, anal), the aftermath of torture, PTSD, mentions of child abuse

Synopsis:   When Bucky decides to try to get legal custody of Kobik he meets resistance due to him being a single man. Clint steps up as a co-parent to help with the process.

Art by @bexlie-draws

Chapter 6

The kiss changed things.  Much more drastically than Bucky had expected.  If he’d realized how much he might have waited until Kobik was more settled.  Now he was juggling being a new dad to learning how to be a boyfriend again. Clint was not exactly what you’d call ‘good boyfriend material’ either.  He had issues almost as long as Bucky’s which was saying a lot.

He was also really handsy which was something Bucky wanted to be again, but he definitely wasn’t there yet.  Each time Clint put his hands on him it felt like an electric current shot through his system and his body didn’t know how to react.  Having to explain to him he needed to back off made him angry with himself and HYDRA.

Clint seemed to be running at two speeds because Bucky’s issues were setting off his own.  He was only ever, full speed ahead or full breaks on. The go-slow thing seemed to be something he didn’t seem capable of and Bucky started to doubt if they were even compatible.

Kobik though was a whole different story.  She settled in immediately. He already knew how much they loved each other, but she took to Clint immediately.  Clint was the soft touch who gave in to almost every whim she had. Icecream for breakfast? Sure why not. Mess with Sam while he was doing flight maneuvers?  Great plan. Bucky both loved it and found it extremely frustrating. Like he’d suddenly adopted two children instead of one.

She was happy though.  She didn’t bring up changing things again which was good.  The photo wall added more pics of her. By herself or with them or with someone from the team.  Her being happy meant more to Bucky than anything else.

After a time they enrolled her in a preschool.  That freaked Bucky out more than anything else. All he could think of was one-day Kobik was going to get bullied or receive a detention and she’d alter the universe so the people who upset her didn’t exist anymore, and how would he know if that had happened?

They took a long time to find a school that he thought would work for her.  Standard schooling wouldn’t work because there were too many potentials for catastrophe.  In the end, they found a school that was small, where everyone knew everyone else. Bullying was dealt with through discussion and learning was self-directed.  A huge amount of money was given to them to help deal with her special issues too. Bucky was still terrified the day the three of them drove into the parking lot in the morning.

“Okay, got your bag?”  He asked as they all piled out of the car.

“Yep,”  Kobik said holding up her backpack.  It was a shimmery blue with a unicorn on it.

“Lunch is in it?” He said taking her hand.

“Yes.  Packed inside.”  She agreed.

“Now what aren’t you doing today?”  He asked.

“Using my powers.”  She replied.

Clint moved in front of them so he was walking backward in the direction of the school.  “What are we doing today?”

“Have fun!”  Kobik chirped.

“And?”  Clint said.

“Make lots of friends!”  Kobik shouted.

“That’s right!”  Clint said scooping her up off the ground and throwing her in the air.  She squealed happily and caught him around the neck as she fell back down.

Clint carried her inside and held his hand out to Bucky.  Bucky hesitated before taking it and holding it tightly. When they reached the classroom they were greeted by the teacher and teachers aid.

“Hello!  You must be Kobik.  I’m Jenny. Are you ready for your first day?”  She asked.

“I sure am!”  Kobik said excitedly.

“Well, why don’t you go hang your bag up and put your lunch box in the crate and you can take a look around?”  Jenny said.

Kobik wiggled out of Clint’s arms and dragged him inside with her.  Bucky stopped and looked at Jenny feeling helpless. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay.  She can fly you know?”

Jenny smiled and shrugged.  “Guess we’ll find out. But she should at least get a chance right?”

Bucky wanted to hug her in that moment.  He let out a breath and felt his shoulder relax.  “Yeah. I just want her to be a normal kid.”

“I honestly wish more parents were like you, Sergeant Barnes.  Way too much pressure on kids to be more than just that.” She said.  “We take a lot of photos through the day so you can see what she’s up to.  And I promise if we’re in over our head we’ll call.”

“Thank you.”  He said.

“Of course.”

Kobik came running out of the cloakroom with a bunch of children giggling, followed by a bewildered-looking Clint.  “She made friends.” He said.

“You gonna come say goodbye, Kobik?”  Bucky called.

Kobik didn’t even stop running.  “Bye, Buckaroo!” She yelled.

Clint came and took his hand again.  “Come on. She’s fine.” He said and started to pull him back outside.

“Maybe this was a bad idea.  She doesn’t have to go to preschool right?”  Bucky said getting into the car.

Clint put his hand on Bucky’s leg.  “No, but preschool is fun. And she only does it a few times a week.  Slowly ease in. It’ll be good for her.”

Bucky nodded and let out a breath.  “Yeah, you’re right.”

“And,”  Clint said, squeezing his thigh.  “We get some alone time. Which we literally haven’t had any of since you kissed me.”

“I - uh - yeah.”  Bucky stuttered.

“You’ve changed your mind, haven’t you?  I wasn’t sure but that’s what’s happened?”  Clint asked taking his hand away.

“No.  No, I swear.  I - I really like you, Clint.  I mean, you’re the first person I’ve been interested in since… before I fell from the train.  You know?” Bucky said. He pulled the car out of the school parking lot and into the street, aiming back towards the compound.

“Oh.  Oh shit.”  Clint said sinking back into the car seat.

“Yeah.  So that’s that.  I don’t…. I don’t remember what it’s like to be a boyfriend.  I’m not used to people touching me. At least not like that. Pretty used to having them punch me and slap me in the face and stuff.  I’ve never been with a guy before. This is a lot of pressure for you, Clint.”

Clint put his hand back on Bucky’s thigh.  “If you can deal with my shit, I can deal with yours.”  He gave Bucky’s leg a small rub. “How about we go home, take a bath.  I’ll wash your hair because you never fuckin’ do it. And …” He shrugged.

“Yeah.  Sounds good.”  Bucky agreed.

“Wow, it really fluffs up when you wash it, huh?”  Clint said running his fingers through Bucky’s hair again.  Something he hadn’t stopped doing since they’d both gotten out of the water and dried off.  It hadn’t taken Bucky as long as he had expected to go from his body twitching every time Clint put his hands on him to practically purring like a cat.  All the build-up to this happening. The time it took for Bucky to realize what was happening. The hand-holding. The kiss and the aftermath of mixed feelings.  They’d all been slowly easing him into the idea of this. Lying together in bed Clint wrapped around him as the promise of more loomed over them.

Bucky looked into the archer’s blue eyes.  “Why do you think I avoid washing it?”

“I don’t know.  Your hair gets caught in the metal plate on your prosthetic?”  Clint teased.

Bucky smirked, trying not to laugh.  “You know what, Barton, I could really…”

“What?”  Clint asked, his fingers still carding through Bucky’s hair.  “What could you do?”

Bucky crashed his mouth into Clint’s, taking him by surprise.  For a split second, Clint did nothing, shocked at the sudden change.  One split second it took for him to go from bewildered to returning the kiss hungrily.  He wrapped both his arms around Bucky and pulled their bodies flush against each other.

Bucky hooked his leg over Clint’s and rolled his hips against him.  The slight bit of friction, making his cock twitch and begin to harden.  He moaned into the kiss and parted his lips. His tongue flicked out and was met by Clint’s and they circled together.

For every movement Bucky made, Clint matched, making it clear that Bucky was setting the pace.  He had no reason to push himself further than he felt comfortable with. If he wanted to stop, Clint would with no hesitation.

He didn’t want to stop though.  He wanted everything. He pulled Clint’s shirt up over his head and began kissing along the sinewy muscles of his chest.  His tongue would dart out and swirl around, tasting the salt on his skin. Clint let out a strangled moan and nuzzled into Bucky’s hair.  His fingers ghosted up Bucky’s back making his skin tingle and break out in goosebumps.

Bucky’s hips jerk forward and he groaned deeply.  “Fuck, Clint. Need you.” He rumbled.

“I’m all yours, Buck. Whatever you want.”  Clint whispered.

Bucky slipped his hand between them and took hold of both their cocks in his flesh hand.  He began to slowly pump them The soft press of his cock against Clint’s and the way they pulsed and twitched as the hardened fully sent shivers running up his spine.  Clint grabbed the tube of lube from the bedside table and squeezed it. The thick viscous gel drizzled down and splattered over their cocks and Bucky’s hand.

Bucky tensed at the sudden cold on his skin and began slicking them both.  His hand moving a little faster and squeezing a little harder.

“Fuck.  Oh fuck.  Jesus, Buck.”  Clint cursed. He’d started to rock his hips so he was fucking the little pocket Bucky had formed out of his hand and cock.  “Want you. Want you to fuck me.”

Bucky growled and rolled them over so Clint was lying on his back below him.  “You sure?” He asked teasing his fingers over Clint’s asshole.

Clint whined and pulled his knees up.  “Yeah. God, yes.”

Bucky leaned down and kissed him.  More tenderly this time. The thing was, Clint was an idiot.  An annoying idiot a lot of the time. But Clint was his annoying idiot and Bucky loved him.

He coated Clint’s asshole with lube and eased a finger inside of him.  When he met minimal resistance he added a second. Clint grunted and bucked up.  “Yes! Fuck! Like that.”

“You've done this before?”  Bucky whispered.

Clint nodded and made a mewling sound.  “Yeah. Yes. You’re doing great. Just, stretch me out.”

Bucky pushed both his fingers in and out, slowly fucking Clint with them.  Each inward thrust he pushed a little deeper. When the pads of his fingers pressed on the spongy surface of Clint’s prostate Clint made a primal groan and arched up under him.  “Fuck! Yes!”

Bucky slid his fingers out and added more lube to his cock.  He pressed the head against Clint’s hole. Clint pushed back against him and Bucky snapped his hips forward sinking into him.

They both let out long moans and Bucky began to thrust.  “Oh god, Clint.” He murmured against Clint’s throat. “Feels so good.  Not sure how long I’m gonna last.”

Clint ran his hands through Bucky’s hair again his head dropping back as gave himself to the sensation of Bucky’s cock filling him so completely.  “It’s okay.” He groaned. “Just fuck me.”

Bucky moved faster.  Fucking deeper into him.  He trailed his mouth along Clint’s neck and shoulders as Clint ran his hands over his back, sometimes digging them in and holding him.  His skin prickled and pressure built inside him. He felt like it was bearing down on him and he could explode from at any minute. Sweat dripped from his brow and he began to pant.

He wrapped his fingers around Clint’s cock and Clint made a keening sound.  “Oh fuck. Gonna come.” He said, his voice sounding like pleading.

Bucky took it as a cue, he relaxed, giving himself to the sensation running through him and with one final snap of his hips he emptied deep inside Clint.  Clint groaned and released with him, spilling over his own stomach and Bucky’s fingers.

Bucky slipped from Clint and collapsed on his back.  “God, that was good.” He sighed, his chest still rising and falling as his breathing evened out.

Clint grabbed a tissue and began cleaning himself off.  “Yeah, it was.” He said and rolled over nuzzling into Bucky’s neck.

“We should go again,”  Bucky said, propping himself up and looking down at Clint.

Clint laughed and pecked Bucky’s lips.  “Sounds good. And we will. But right now we gotta clean up and go get our daughter.”

Bucky shot up.  “Oh shit. Yeah.  They didn’t call. You think it went okay?”

Clint climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom on Bucky’s heels.  “Either that or we get there and the school has been replaced by a giant hot fudge sundae.”

Bucky chuckled and shook his head.  So he may not have gotten a wife and the four kids and the house with a white picket fence.  But he did get a boyfriend, a daughter and a big apartment he didn’t have to pay any rent for and that was pretty great too.

~ END ~

[artcenterstories]

Climbing the Ladder: Meet Catalyst CCO Josh Wright

AC: What inspired you to co-found Catalyst? Josh Wright (BS Product Design '03) Co-Founder and Chief Creative Officer, Catalyst: The seed was planted when I was at ArtCenter. The College trains you to think about design, not just from the aesthetic or mechanical point of view, but also from a business perspective.

At ArtCenter, I was encouraged to look for a business partner. When you have someone who focuses on the financials, you can focus on making design work for the business.

AC: You've had an interesting career trajectory. Can you speak about your journey? JW: Designing for an outdoor lifestyle has always been important to me. In the early years of my career, I started working in California, designing a lot of sports and lifestyle products, including footwear and backpacks for various surf, skate and snow companies.

Then, I moved to Wichita, Kansas, to work for the iconic Coleman company. It was a cool experience because it was a very small design team, and I got to touch all of their products. After six months, I contributed $30 million to the company's bottom line.

That's something else ArtCenter taught me: Don't go to Porsche; don't go to Apple — they already have great design. Go to a brand that doesn't have great design, yet. Bringing good design and storytelling to their products transformed a 100-year-old brand into something fresh and fun. And they still sell some of my products today.

I later worked at Tumi in New York designing some of their carbon-fiber luggage and helping to expand some of the product categories into footwear, wristwatches and apparel. In 2006, I got this amazing opportunity in Hong Kong and I spent the next four years working at a world-class design consultancy firm. But I was always on the lookout for a business partner, based on what I had learned in school.

AC: How did you meet your Catalyst co-founder? JW: Rock climbing. It's one of the reasons I wanted to move here — the climbing community in Hong Kong brings together such a diverse group of people. My co-founder and I have such different backgrounds — she's from bio-tech and finance.

Through the years, we developed a friendship based on trust from countless days of climbing the jungles. We realized that we had complementary skills, with her business and my design background and our mutual desire to be outdoors. We wanted to create outdoor products that brought value to people's lives — that was the genesis of Catalyst.

AC: What was the first Catalyst product you designed? JW: At the time in 2010, the iPhone was becoming the device of choice, even for climbers, so our product was a fully waterproof protective iPhone 4 case. Soon after, we launched and had a successful Kickstarter campaign.

Today, Catalyst has reached a tipping point where it's becoming a global household brand name; our products are available in over 70 countries and major retailers, including Apple, BestBuy and Target, as well as eight Amazon marketplaces, four Shopify websites and WeChat in China.

AC: Catalyst 20L Waterproof backpack recently received the prestigious Red Dot Award. Can you speak about the design process? JW: Each of our products fills a need and solves a problem. The waterproof backpack offers travelers an ultra-compact, -lightweight pack that folds into a carry pouch that's a little smaller than a 12-ounce soda can.

Waterproof is a core component of Catalyst. I'm kind of a nerd for waterproof products.

I've used this bag as a flotation device while snorkeling in Thailand. I've carried it through heavy tropical rainstorms and through a canyoneering trip in northern Italy, where I was jumping off waterfalls. The backpack works incredibly well. When the bag is rolled up, anything you keep inside it will stay dry.

AC: What are you working on right now? JW: We're always working on something new — we launch eight to 12 products every year. We were the first company to make waterproof cases for Apple watch and AirPods.

The backpack line is something we're currently working on expanding, and soft goods in general. We're heavily focused on expanding our business solutions for industrial applications of our products, including for oil and gas, hospitals and schools.

AC: How do you define success? JW: Being able to create products I believe that bring value to the people who use them, and seeing a lantern I designed for the Coleman company being used on the show The Walking Dead.

AC: Do you have any superstitions? JW: My dad always told me that it is bad luck to be superstitious and I live by that.

AC: What’s the design cliché you’re most tempted to use? JW: I really subscribe to modernism. I believe that form should follow function with zero added details for ornamentation. Everything I build is intentionally designed, but not decorative. We are loosening up this "cliché" by adding some fashion and styling elements to some of our future collections, which I'm pretty excited about.

AC: What’s the one tool you can’t do without? JW: My iPhone.

AC: What’s the first site you look at when you open your computer in the morning? JW: Slack.

AC: What do you do to detox from media and screens? JW: It's not just screens, it's the city itself because Hong Kong is so crowded. My detox is my weekends out in nature: rock climbing, hiking, canyoneering or surfing. I think an amazing secret of Hong Kong is that two-thirds of the territory is subtropical jungle with unreal, pristine waterfalls and beaches.

AC: If you could trade jobs with anyone for a day who would it be? JW: As a designer, there's no other job I'd rather be doing. But as a kid, I always wanted to be a marine biologist like Jacques Cousteau.

AC: What book is on your bedside table? JW: I have three books; none of them are finished. One is a history book called Tragedy & Hope: A History of the World in Our Time, another is a business book The E Myth and the third is a just-for-fun, fiction book called This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It (John Dies at the End).

AC: Who are the most interesting designers working today? JW: Marc Newson. I also really like Michael Young — he's a British-born designer based in Hong Kong. Toy designer Michael Lau was at the forefront of the urban vinyl movement and I love his style. I'm also a huge fan of James Dyson, Jonathan Ive, and entertainment designer Stan Winston has always inspired me.

AC: Were you exposed to design growing up? JW: I come from quite an artistic and mechanically inclined family. My grandfather was a renaissance man: a photographer, inventor, mechanic, engineer, architect, designer... He had so many hobbies and passions, and he created so many things. He made all of my grandmother's jewelry.

He designed and physically built the house his family lived in, including the thermostat and heating system from spare parts. He built motorcycles for my mother and her siblings. When I was a kid, he built us a tree house with a zip line, which was super dangerous, and go-karts. I was always around people who were artistic and creating things.

AC: Describe a moment in your childhood when you first identified as a designer. JW: When I was in high school, I was lucky to have an art teacher who brought in different brochures from art and design schools around the world. For the first time, I was aware you could design cars, toys or products as a career. As a kid, I was always sketching, building models, taking things apart and putting them together. When I found out it was a career path, there was no other option for me.

AC: If you could have a superpower, what would it be? JW: Eternal life — I have too many hobbies and not enough time.

AC: What’s your most prized possession? JW: My grandfather passed away this year, and I have the camera he used when he was working as a photographer and a backpack he built for his Boy Scout group in the 1950s.

AC: Where is your happy place? JW: There are so many! Twenty meters deep, swimming with manta rays off the coast of Thailand, snowboarding in Japan. There's a canyon in Hong Kong that looks like Jurassic Park — it's just so raw with waterfalls everywhere. But to summarize, my happy place is being outside in a gorgeous location with people I care about.

AC: How would your closest friend describe you? JW: A relentless, laser-focused — I hate to say it — asshole, but with a heart of gold.

[not-a-statement]

The last time I forget you

This is kind of therapy for me.

A sequel to Forgotten art of letting go

I know I’m bad at writing dialogues and this all is dumb, forgive me, but I wanted to do this.

Also the title and the last Dipper’s line together make a piece of a lyrics. Let’s see if you’ll recognize the song:)

“If you hit it with your baton I’ll slap you…” Craig hissed.

Eric snickered covering his mouth with the fist. Dipper’s hand hovered.

“Wait, what else I’m supposed to do? The damn thing is inside. It’s gonna give away our presence.”

“So what good your baton’s gonna make? Apart from making it screech.”

“No wonder you are a damn idiot, Dipper.” Eric kept losing it.

“It’s Brian, remember?”

“Yeah, Brian with an i so it looks like brain. Just admit it.”

Craig gave Dipper an intense glare.

“You gonna go for it?”

Dipper’s knuckles turned white. His weapon clutched in his fist, one action dividing him from a smart step or a total failure. At that moment no borders existed, no distinctions mattered, only thing present which dimmed Dipper’s eyes was anticipation of that little dinosaur’s pain. Its agony, its frustrated screams. He only needed to open his fist.

But he couldn’t.

“You gonna roll or what?”

Dipper lowered his hand letting of D6.

“Ah, screw you. I’m not gonna do anything.”

Craig gave him a questioning glance.

“I know you have only 5 for intelligence but even for you that’s odd. I mean props on taking PC that serious, but have you considered wringing its neck?”

“Hey, Dip, no offence on calling you a dumbass, bro. I didn’t mean that” Eric raised his both hands as if defending himself.

“Yeah, whatever” Dipper reached out for bowl of chips “Let’s just move on”

Craig stayed motionless, his eyes scanning Dipper like he was a walking X-ray machine. Eric was just fiddling with his papers looking at the tabletop.

“What?”

“Are you okay, Dip?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Cause you look like something’s bothering you.”

“No I’m not.”

“Actually” Eric said “you are. Kind of been looking like that for more than a month”

An uncomfortable silence crashed in, covering three friends in Craig’s living room. Only one of them knew what kind of waters this topic was about to approach, but it seemed like everybody was aware. After about half a minute Craig raised from his chair and left for kitchen.

“Dude, is there a girl?” It wasn’t like Dipper wasn’t expecting that kind of question but there was something in how Eric said that. In a way like he could look inside his soul. Some sympathy, understanding actually. And that sent a shiver down his spine.

“Yeah...” Dipper exhaled “there is a girl”

The sound of someone digging through fridge’s insides reached the living room accompanied with a clicking sound of glass bottles.

“Hey, Dip-brochete. You know there’s like loads of girls out there, right?” Eric reached out to place his hand on Dipper’s shoulder “and I freaking bet all my savings that at least a half of them would love to spend even a brief moment with you, man. So you know what you should think?”

“Probably she’s dating someone, isn’t she?” Craig reentered the room holding three bottles of beer in his hands. “Wouldn’t be that bothering the other way, huh”

“Aye, that’s exactly my point, bruh!” Eric absentmindedly took a bottle from Craig “If she’s with some other douchebag out there, what good it says about her?“

“Go on”

“Your face will go on” Eric took a swig “How worthy of being adored she could possibly be if she’s neglecting Dip? Like for real - look at you, bro! Top of most classes, book lover, facial hair grower - you are a full package if I do say so myself. Plus I heard girls can be easily attached to brainiacs.”

“Have you ever been with a lady, Eric?” half asked half teased Craig “It’s not like they have checklists for every boy they meet. They are more of feelers rather than estimators”

“Well that’s just dumb. If a girl just appeals to how heart beats or to how many butterflies come to life in your stomach in a presence of a boy she can’t be trusted”

“Hoookay...good luck with your date for upcoming Prom, mate” Craig chuckled “Anyway, who exactly are we talking about, Dipper? If you don’t mind”

“Oh...um” Dipper could feel the first bead of sweat forming at the nape of his neck “She...she’s not from around, she...I mean we...we’ve met in the park the other day actually, so I...doubt you guys are likely to know her...so...yeah”

“Oh, I see. So, that makes it easier I reckon” Craig placed his bottled aside and laid his arms on the table intertwining his fingers “I mean somewhat distance can play good to you. Would be much more severely if you had to face her every day”

“Yeah, tell me about it..” cold and fuzzy bread brewed liquid was alien to Dipper’s throat yet it felt just right. “Add in seeing that blonde tall fucker around her...”

“Wow, that’s harsh. Some dark feelings detected given the F word, mate” Eric eyes started dimming and filling with more sympathy. “Had a chance to see them together?”

“No...no, I mean...how could I, right?” Dipper started backtracking “It’s not like we’re seeing each other often”

“But what’s about that “You tell me” thing?” Craig started to look bewildered.

“That...um...like c’mon, man...have you heard about instagram? It’s like pretty huge”

“Ah, so there’s a pictures of her and her boyfriend you stumbled upon?”

“Yeah, that’s it...totally” Dipper downed his beverage hoping that its coolness would somehow low the temperature within his cheeks.

“And you keep looking them up?”

“I bet he doesn’t” Eric said “How dumb would it be?”

“So you don’t, Dip?” Craig gave Dipper an incredulous look.

“Well, I...” he started looking up for an excuse but failed instantly. “I...I do...”

Both Craig and Eric threw their heads back and groaned.

“What? What’s so wrong about it?”

“What’s so wrong?” Craig asked back “Dipper, that’s like a self torture”

“Yeah, Craig’s right, man. How can you ever gonna get over her if you keep sticking around? Even virtually.”

“Oh, c’mon, that’s not too bad. I’m not like constantly around her, am I” apparently excuses of any kind were not working for Dipper “Besides, if I couldn’t succeed at least I can...you know, analyze”

“Analyze what? Reasons why she’s with him and not with you?”

“Why not? There’s gotta be something”

“Remember what I said, Dip?” Craig asked “Feelers, rather than estimators”

“Oh, do you personally believe in that, Craig?”

“Um. I do”

“But there’s a cause for every feeling, right? I mean what’s so special about that arrogant always preoccupied dumbass? As if I couldn’t get into an argument with the teacher about some History junk. Or like is playing tuba more lame than playing the guitar? Or...or...”

“Dipper, would you knock it off already?” Craig raised both his hands “Look. There’s nothing wrong about you or special about him. It’s just feelings. You can’t predict them or control...well, if you’re not a manipulating asshole which you’re not but...it just happens you know? Chemistry - that’s all.”

Dipper let out a defeated exhale. Of course Craig had a point. Just like a something came to life between him and Mabel once it happened again. It didn’t manage to smother any of his aching though but it wasn’t meant to either. So once again it was Dipper’s job to make himself somewhat resistant to what he felt around her and that jackass. And there’s no point in comparing him and...

“Wait a second...” Eric frowned thoughtfully rubbing his chin “The guitar, the History class banter...I think I know...Pete Weinberg?”

A quick thought consisting only one word “Shit!” flew through Dipper’s mind. He could feel his heart beating rapidly and palms growing sweatier than they could ever be. He wasn’t supposed to reveal so many details to slip up at this point. Honestly he shouldn’t be getting into this conversation in the first place. He must’ve shaken it off immediately when Eric asked first question. He could just pretend that it was upcoming graduation from school or how frustrated he was feeling when it came to picking up the college because he had to make sure that he didn’t end up choosing the same city with a certain person because she was making him feel...Oh, he we go again, shit!  

He was dragged out of his panicked thoughts only by the sound of Eric snickering. 

“Oh, sorry, dude” Eric managed to say between the laughing waves. “My bad, my bad. That’s too dumb of me. I mean, that Pete guy, he’s definitely dating your sister, I must’ve messed up! Sorry, no insult intended”

Oh, Eric, bless your soul Dipper thought. He couldn’t believe that he was given such an easy escape at that moment.

“Yeah, bro, what was you thinking about” he awkwardly laughed too loudly. “I thought I had the lowest intelligence here! Speaking of - shall we continue our journey through the park full of pre-historic giant reptilian creatures?”

“Oh yeah, baby! I’m down! Sorry once again, bruh”

“Not to worry, dude, not to worry”

Dipper and Eric took their now empty bottles from the table and started shuffling through papers while Craig remained motionless looking at Dipper with a concerned expression on his face.

                                                          * * *

“So next Sunday, gentlemen” Eric cheerfully proclaimed standing at the doorstep of Craig’s house “Next time the map’s on me.You’ll gonna love it”

“Just don’t mess up your binder and your sister one next time, would you?” Dipper laughed “I hope she now can spell the word “doggie” correct”

“You make it sound kinky man, gah! She’s six!”

“Your face is kinky”

“Okay, that one’s for you” Dipper and Eric exchanged a handshake still laughing “Right, I’m off. See you tomorrow, lads”

“Bye, Eric” said Craig and Dipper in unison.

As soon as Eric took his direction of a sidewalk and Dipper just put his jacket on was about to say goodbye to Craig the last started speaking:

“Hey, Dip”

“Yeah?”

“Um...about earlier. I couldn’t help noticing you acting a bit...weird when Eric mentioned Weinberg so...”

Dipper froze in spot where he was standing, his pupils going wider.

“I mean...Dipper, I am your friend, you know that?”

With a nervous gulp the only reaction Dipper could make was to nod slightly.

“So...I just wanted you to know that if you want to talk to anybody...you can tell me anything. If that helps”

Dipper couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Craig was actually offering him to vent out his frustration and really seriously talk about his messed up feelings for his sibling. Oh, for how long he wished to have such an option. To lay down all his cards and get a third party’s opinion for him to find a way but...

On the second thought a secret for two should stay as it is and not become a secret for three.

“Yeah” he exhaled “I wish I could...”

With that said he shook his friend’s arm and stepped out to begin his walk home.