#my beloveds~~

[waterfallofspace]

The Stray Saga

The one in which R/ei tries to adopt some cats, and K/azuki deals with the fallout of these choices. Set pre-M/iri, inspired heavily by the fact that we canonically know R/ei liked to take home strays, and well, snzbrain said ‘what if there was another reason he can’t keep them’. Absolutely not canon, or canon based, but hopefully that’s forgivable for the sake of –the plot– hahaha~ (does contain references to drinking/being drunk, as well as swearing and mentions of violence, so please be cautious if you dislike those things~) I do not claim to be good at this, first attempt trying b/uddy d/addies, so please excuse the lack of experience hahaha~ I am not confident in my ability to get their voices down, but I gave it an attempt! Also the ending is not my favourite, but I kinda didn’t know where to take it, soooo hopefully it’s acceptable~ Posting before I lose the nerve! Characters: R/ei (sneezy boi in this one), K/azuki, & a few cute kitties

Word Count: 4.5k 

“The First”

The first thought Kazuki had as he let himself stumble through the doorway was ‘I probably shouldn’t have had that last drink’. As the pounding headache he knew would emerge tomorrow morning started to push against his temples, the second thought he had was ‘I wish Rei would stop smoking in the apartment’. The third was ‘meow’. “Wait… what?” Even drunk, Kazuki couldn’t say he’d ever made animal noises in his head before… Maybe he was going insane. It would figure, living with a maniac that should have been committed years ago, and he was the one that goes ins-

“Mrreow” Another suspiciously cat-sounding noise cuts through his internal dialogue, this time definitely not coming from inside his head. Stumbling down the hallway, and leaning himself against the counter, Kazuki nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight in front of him. Rei hadn’t moved an inch from when he’d left for the club, and yet, somehow, instead of a controller, there was a kitten sitting in his lap. The smoke lazily rising from an ashtray sitting on the table was almost enough to hide the unmistakable smell of tuna radiating from an open can tha- yep, that sat right next to his hand on the counter. 

“Is that a cat?” He got nothing but a lazy snff in return, as Rei’s eyes never left the tv screen, where some video game related video was playing, volume muted, but captions on. Weird, he normally only watched like that when his head was bothering him. “I hate that I know that” Oh whoops, he said that out loud. Being drunk was certainly blurring the lines between internal and external dialogue. One of the unfortunate side effects that Rei seems immune from, typical for Mr. No-Weakness himself. ‘No Weakness’ except the utter lack of ability to care for himself.

His spiraling thoughts were cut off by an unusual noise coming from the direction of the pair lounging on the couch. At first Kazuki wasn’t sure if it came from Rei or the cat, till he watched a hint of desperation flash over Rei’s normally lazily annoyed featured, before he crashed into his hand with another light “hH’gxDT!uhh”. He was impressively still for it, careful not to disturb the ball of fur curled up in his lap, despite the itchy sigh he let out after signaling that this subdued explosion did nothing to relieve the tickle behind it. “Bless yo-” “heh’kTSHH! Ihh… hIH’kZZSHUE!” “Christ Rei, bless you, are you… alr… are you alright?” The desperation of them suggested the earlier stifle had definitely not been the first, and upon closer inspection, Kazuki could see the red tint around his nose, and the water threatening to release itself from his eyes. To his credit, despite releasing some of the most itchy sounding sneezes Kazuki had ever heard, Rei managed to not move his lap or disturb his guest sleeping in it. “You’re home late.” He grumbled, voice hoarse enough to make Kazuki wince, even after just a handful of words. 

“Lost track of time, had- had a good night atttt the casino, maybe had a few… few too… few too many drinks. You didn’t ans- answer my…. my question.” This earned him a low groan, quickly followed by a desperate gasp as Rei leaned into his shoulder to try and contain a harsh “hh’KSCHHue! Hehh! hh’ZZSHH’UE!uhhh… haHH’GNXXT’huhhh” only succeeding in gaining enough control to half stifle the last one, seemingly much to his annoyance, as he coughed roughly with a deep snfff. 

“That’s still not an ans… answer.” “You sound drunk.” “I am drunk, what’s yo- your… what’s your… excuse.” 

Man he was way more out of it than he thought, and he could feel himself fading into the sweet release of sleep, each blink seeming to take forever, eyes hesitating to open again.

“I’m going to sleep now, we’ll t- ta- talk about thhhhe cat in-the mornin’.” He barely managed to get out, before slinking up the stairs, with more difficulty than he’d care to admit, before finally collapsing in his bed for a well earned nights sleep. 

~~~~~~~

Kazuki was definitely more of a morning person than Rei, but that did not mean he was eager to get up before the sun did. And yet, for some reason, his room was still dark, yet he was wide awake. The pounding in his head he had anticipated was actually quite manageable compared to some past ones, and he chalked it up to the frankly atrocious amount of coffee and water he had consumed before coming home from the bar. “hehh’nggXT!uhhh. nngxxt! Hh’ihhzzshhue!” The reason for his early awakening quickly revealed itself, and Kazuki pulled himself out of bed, opening his door, to find the alarming sight of Rei sitting on the stairs, sniffling pathetically against his wrist. “Morning?” A low grumble was all he got in response, though it wasn’t out of rudeness, more desperation, as Rei gasped again, letting another rough “iihh’zsshhue!” go against his shoulder. They sounded less harsh then last night, but by no means less itchy.  “Bless you. Alright, are you getting sick or something? Because I really do not want whatever this is that’s got you sitting outside my door at whatever-the-shit-o’clock.”  “Snfff- I’m not sick. And it’s nearly 10am. I woke up and there was no breakfast.” Kazuki frantically turned towards the window to see that- yep, there was definitely sunlight coming in. Apparently his drunken self had decided he didn’t want to be woken up, and blocked any form of sunlight from entering his room. ‘Mental note, remind me to thank myself for the lovely experience of seeing Rei sitting outside waiting for food like a stray ca-  “There was a cat.” “There is a cat.” Kazuki pinches the bridge of his nose as he tries to take stalk of everything he knows through the haze of a hungover morning. There was a cat. There was cat food, and Rei was holding the cat. There was also no breakfast because he had just woken up. So, in conclusion, Rei had found another creature for him to have to care for. “Come down and I’ll make french toast. We’re not keeping the cat.” Rei said nothing, but let out a low grumble and stared daggers towards the wall after the last part, still standing up to follow Kazuki down to the kitchen. The mess waiting for him wasn’t unexpected, however the dozen cans of tuna sitting open and untouched on the counter wasn’t exactly Rei’s normal kind of mess.  As he started cleaning them up, Kazuki felt a soft brush against his leg, followed by a deep stinging pain. “Wha-?” He squeaked, eyes turning down to the cat currently attempting to use him as a personal scratching pole. “Hey! Quit it.” He was gentle, but firm, as he pried the claws out of his leg, letting out a low whine as the cat seemed to decide this refusal meant he was offering cuddles instead, electing to hop onto the counter and plant itself right on top of his food. Rei, for his part, was letting out a deeply stifled laugh, the only noises escaping his shaking frame seeming oddly strangled, almost as if the air was attempting to enter his lungs, but refused. “Oh, this is funny to you? First you wake me by sneezing outside my door, then demand breakfast- a meal I know you won’t even thank me for, then proceed to laugh at the stray you brought into this house ruining my food?” Rei seemed like he was considering responding, but the choice was very quickly taken from him, as he instead ducked into his hands with a rapid- “hh’zschhue-ihhzschh’ue-hahh’gnxxt!”  “Bless you. Wash your hands, like I said, I don’t want whatever this is. And we’re not keeping the cat, Rei. I’ll bring her somewhere after breakfast. I know a few girls at the casino who would love to have her as a pet.” Rei looked up over his cupped hands with a look that, on anyone else, Kazuki would probably call dismayed. Oh hell, or even ‘sad’. But this wasn’t anyone else, this was Rei. And in their line of work, tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed. They both knew that.  Besides, it was enough that he looked after Rei. He didn’t need to add a cat to that equation. Especially hungover with a sick Rei. Like promised, once breakfast was finished, he took the cat to the girls, who for their part, were overjoyed. Weirdly, by the time he got home, all the cat food had disappeared, and Rei was planted back on the couch with his game, not a single sign of cold left. Kazuki decided not to question it, whether he had taken meds, suddenly shaken it, or just never had one to begin with, it wasn’t his problem. He had a job to prepare for and christ knows Rei wasn’t planning on helping. ~~~~~~~ “The Second” The job hadn’t gone as planned, ‘like it ever does’ Kazuki thought, as they drove back in utter silence. He had a plan, he always had a plan, but of course he hadn’t known about the big bosses' deep fear of lizards ‘lizards, of all things, really?’.   And you see, because some higher deity somewhere had decided screwing with him was a great way to pass the time, a lizard just happened to crawl its way into the boss's office. Right as Kazuki was trying to get into position outside the door. Thus, sending the boss running and screaming right into him, alerting every guard in the place.  Thankfully for him, Rei was already in position, so after shooting the boss, and ducking behind a doorway to avoid fire from the henchmen outside, he beelined for Rei’s line of sight. This quickly rid him of his chasers, and he grabbed Rei’s arm and bolted for the car, mission practically accomplished. However, the most shocking part of the whole mission, and also why they were sat merely inches apart without a single word, was sitting in Rei’s lap, purring. How this man managed to find a stray kitten while attempting an assassination was beyond Kazuki, but despite protests, the kitten had been brought with them. Not an emotion showed on his face, and yet somehow Kazuki knew that should he attempt to rid them of the kitten, Rei was prepared to do whatever it took to get it back. So, they rode in silence. Actually, silence was the wrong word. It wasn’t a lack of sound, it was a lack of words. But sounds, there were plenty of those. The kitten purring, the car’s engine humming, and Rei’s nearly constant sniffles. After the first few, Kazuki had asked if he was alright, earning him an eye roll and a sigh.  “Hihh’nngt!huhh. ihH! Ih’ngxxt!uhhh”  And then there was that. He didn’t understand the point of suppressing them like that. Sitting right next to him, it’s not as if he couldn’t still hear them, and the laboured exhales suggested they were taking more effort then he let on. Kazuki supposed it had to do with not jarring the kitten, though considering how Rei gets when he’s sick, he wouldn’t be surprised if it had something to do with control. He didn’t know a lot about Rei’s upbringing, but what he did know didn’t seem all that nurturing.  “Bless you. Are you alright?” It was met with another eyeroll, this time accompanied by an itchy sounding sigh. That seemed to be a mistake, the flow of air triggering another set of sneezes. “hehh’nKXTT!uhhh… hhh… hehh’gNNT!shhh”  “Bless you. You don’t sound good, are you coming down with something?” “No.” One word is still better than nothing, however shallow the answer may feel. It doesn’t help that it’s followed by a desperate sniffle and rough clearing of his throat. “You sure? It’s okay if you are, but I’d prefer to know so I can stock up on meds and supplies, plus I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for fair warning if I’m about to be down for the count.” “I’m not sick.” Would’ve been more convincing if it didn’t end up sounding like ‘I’b dot sick’.  “hAH’ZZSCHHUE! Hehh! hH’RSSHHUE! EHH’ZZSCHH’UEE!”  The outburst nearly causes Kazuki to swerve into oncoming traffic. His wide eyed glance at Rei seems to paint a slight pink tint on the other’s face, as he slowly comes up from where he’d barely managed to catch the sneezes in his hand. The kitten mews in protest at the movement, but quickly settles back down with a soft scratch behind the ears. “Jesus christ Rei, you gotta warn me, I nearly killed us! Bless you by the way.” “Sorry. I didn’t feel them coming.” “Alright, but you do realize this is going on the column of points towards ‘sickness’ not ‘health’, yeah?” “I’m not sick.” This time it was Kazuki who rolled his eyes, pulling the car over to the side of the road so he could turn and give Rei his full attention. “Okay, then explain the mess that is you right now, because I’m not buying it.” Rei seemed to find the road beside them suddenly fascinating, the slightly pink tint darkening just a tad. Unnoticeable to the untrained eye, however Kazuki’s was anything but. He reached out a hand to Rei’s forehead, surprised to feel no unusual warmth. At the sensation, Rei’s eyes met his, eyebrows slightly raised. Kazuki sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, removing his hand. “Just testing, you really don’t sound good, but no fever. A cold maybe?” “I’m n- hH’KTCH’shiew!” The high pitched nature of the ending seemed to catch them both by surprise, with Rei offering a slight eye roll, seemingly aimed at himself, before ducking into his shoulder, away from Kazuki. “ehhtzzzshhuee! hAH’kngxxt!uhhh”  “Bless you again. You shouldn’t do that, ya know.” “It’s not like I’m exactly making the choice to sneeze.” Kazuki barely contains the urge to hit him, settling instead for an eye roll. “Not sneeze, I mean, suppress them like that. It’s gotta hurt, I mean shit, it hurts me to listen to you do it.” “It’s a habit. Hard to break.” Kazuki is taken aback a bit by the honesty, borderline vulnerability in the admittance. He goes to start a sentence, but isn’t quite sure how to respond to that. It feels a bit like taming a wild animal. Answer wrong and he might retreat even further behind his walls. Thankfully for him, he doesn’t need to ponder a response for long, as the silence is soon filled with a deep inhale, followed by-   “hehHH! Hahh…. Ihh…. hDT-” Aaaand nothing. Rei sniffles harshly, bringing up a hand to rub his nose, a tear escaping his watery eyes as they crush shut with a harsh “hH’ETSCHH’ieww!”  “Bless you, again. Come on, level with me, you say you’re not sick, alright, I believe you. Then do you know what’s causing this? Something’s up, and I’m prepared to drive you straight to the doctor if you don’t fess up.” Rei’s once again avoiding his glances, but this time his focus drifts down to the ball of fur still, somehow, peacefully purring in his lap. Kazuki takes a beat to think, staring back up at Rei’s watery eyes, twitching nose, pink tinted cheeks, and then back down at the sleeping kitten. A light but itchy cough breaks the silence as Rei once more seems to gear up for another fit, just as the pieces fall into place in Kazuki’s mind. “Oh you’ve gotta be shitting me!” “ehh’ZSSCHHue! hh’eTSHHH’ieww! Hehh…. hahH’SCHH’iew!” “You’re allergic to the cat? And you kept it in the car? And in your lap?”  “It’s a stray, it needs a home.” “And you need to be able to breathe! And I need to be able to drive us home without crashing! Look, okay, we’re on a nice street, it’s a good neighbourhood, someone will find it and give it a good home. That someone just can’t be you.” Rei still won’t meet his eyes, but the slight wheeze in his breath is enough to decide the matter for Kazuki. He gently scoops the kitten out of Rei’s lap, not met with much resistance, though the protest is shown through an attempt to sigh at him. Instead of a sigh, his lungs just let out a low wheeze and his breath catches once more. “hihh’ETTCHH’uhhh!” Kazuki opens his car door and walks to the first house on the block, gently placing the kitten on the doorstep, and ringing the bell, before quickly making his escape back to the car. ‘It’ll be well cared for’ he tells himself. He follows it up with a mental note to pick up allergy medication on their way home as he watches Rei duck violently into his hands four times as he walks back to the car. “Bless you. I’m sorry you couldn’t keep the cat, Rei.” No answer comes, aside from a light whistling noise when he breathes out a light sigh. The tension eases a bit after Kazuki brings him some allergy meds, a bottle of water, and a candy bar as an apology. Once they’re back at home, and not trapped in the dander infested car, the whistling in Rei’s lungs dies away as he sits back into his spot on the couch, picking up his controller, and diving back into his game. Kazuki decides to have the car cleaned before their next mission, claiming in his head that it’s to keep Rei from being compromised, though if he’s honest with himself, the wheezing near the end was still haunting his mind. It’s not like they tell each other everything, but something like a cat allergy this severe should have at least been mentioned, right..? ~~~~~~~~~~ “The Last”  So far the day had seemed like any other. Kazuki woke up, cooked breakfast, got no thank you (as usual), and went to work on the documents for their next job. The only difference was something most people would consider small, but to Kazuki, it felt like the end of the world as he knew it. Rei was not sitting on the couch. He had come down for food, eaten, and returned to his bedroom, locking the door behind him. Kazuki had heard some muffled sounds, but nothing specific enough to pinpoint, and honestly? It was starting to really set him on edge. There were some days where Rei would leave the house to go somewhere, usually just to the store to pick up a new game, or get some food he wanted. There were days when he would go to his room or the office for a while and clean his guns. But there had never, in the history of Kazuki living here, been a day where he stayed in his room the whole time without coming down to play games even once.  Finally, after Rei skipping the lunch he made, despite calling him down to eat, Kazuki decided enough was enough. Not being on the couch was off putting. Not playing games was enough to make him twitch. But skipping a meal? That was enough to shake him to his core.  Making his way to Rei’s room, he paused outside the door, suddenly very aware that he had absolutely no idea what he was about to walk in on. He reached up to knock, and let his hand hang in the air as he heard a noise from inside. “mMPFFSHH!uhh… hehh’MMFFSHHuee! haH’NGGXXT!uhhh”  “Hey, Rei? You in there?” Kazuki called, letting his knuckles hit the solid wood a few times to punctuate the question. A rough snfff is his reply, as well as a few itchy sounding coughs, before a hoarse voice calls back, “It’s open.” Gently pushing the door open, Kazuki half expects to see Rei laying on the floor bleeding out. What instead greets him is Rei, sitting on the floor, cross-legged, one wrist under his nose, the other hand not-so-subtly pulling the blanket from his bed down a bit further. “You didn’t come eat, I was a bit worried someone had finally got the drop on you. What… uh…. what are you doing..?” “I’m juuhhhst hehH-” He trails off, hand loosely held in front of his face, hazily staring at the ceiling, until after what feels like forever, “hH’KSSCHH’iew!” “Bless you.” With a harsh sniff and a clearing of his throat, Rei continues, ignoring the blessing. “Just working on some plans for a job.” Kazuki’s eyes follow Rei’s over to a stack of papers next to him. Sure enough, it looks like plans to a building Kyu had told them about the other day. However, this didn’t satisfy Kazuki’s curiosity, if anything, this was more worrying than bleeding out on the floor. “So you’re just… sitting up here alone… working on plans… that I didn’t ask you to…?”  “Yes.” “And you decided to do this, out of your own free will, just to be helpful?” “Yes.” “And because you were so wrapped up in working, you forgot to come eat lunch?” “Yehehh… hH’MMPFFSHH’ieww!”  Rei cuts himself off with a sneeze rapidly muffled in his arm. “Bless you. Yeah, I’m not buying it. You never do this kind of work without being practically begged, unless you have an ulterior motive. So what’s going on? Did you do something unforgivable, and this is how you’re hoping to get out of it?” Rei almost looks guilty, eyes darting to the space below his bed that his blanket was pulled down to cover. “What’s under your bed, Rei.” It’s a question, but it’s not phrased as one. More of a demand. “Nothing.” “Then lift up the blanket.” The silence in the room is palpable. The tension in the air making it feel as if it was vibrating, which apparently was all the motivation Rei’s twitching nose needed to rebel once more. “hH’TCHHuue! hEH’SHHH’ieww! ETSCHH-heh’TSHH-hH’RSHHoo!” “Bless you.” Slipped out before Kazuki could even think about it, a deeply ingrained habit. Technically Rei broke the silence first, but still, speaking the first words felt like admitting defeat. But he wouldn’t be broken that easily, he was an assassin after all. “Okay Rei, either you can lift up the blanket and show me, or I can do it myself, though that’ll be a bit awkward for both of us, so maybe do me a favour and do it yourself?” Rei’s watery eyes met his, guilt still visible beneath the surface. Wait a minute, watery eyes, weird behaviour, and of course the- “hihh’ZSCHHoo!”  “Rei. Are you hiding a cat in here?” There’s no answer, but at the moment, Rei isn’t exactly in a position to provide one, his eyes still closed, nose twitching wildly, wrist hovering in front of his face, breath hitching with no restraint. “A- are you alright..?” “Cahhh- can’t sneeze… wohhhn’t hihH- won’t come ouhhht… hDT-” Another itchy exhale follows, his nose practically vibrating at this point. Without stopping to think about it, Kazuki reaches out his hand, and gently runs his finger down the bridge of Rei’s nose, prompting a harsh gasp. “hEH! HH’ZZSHHHOO! hh’ETSCHHHOO! KTSSHHOO! Hihh… hehh! heHH’GTSHHOO!” “Bless you. Sorry about that, just looked like you needed it.” Kazuki said with a slight blush, refusing to meet Rei’s eyes as they risked a glance towards him. “It’s okay. Thanks, I guess.” “Yeah, let's not talk about it.” “Okay.” Kazuki didn’t miss the glance Rei threw back to his bed, sighing as it basically confirmed the earlier question Rei had avoided. “There’s a cat in here isn’t there.” “....Yes.” “You know you can’t keep it, right?” Rei just sighed, reaching under his bed and guiding a fluffy calico out. It purred sweetly, rubbing against Kazuki’s leg. Where Rei kept finding these friendly strays was lost on him, though he guessed there was a lot about this man that he still didn’t know.  “You’re allergic. Badly allergic. Why do you keep taking them in, knowing you can’t keep them?” There’s no answer to this one either, but something about the vulnerability in the look Rei takes on tugs on Kazuki’s heartstrings. “I’m too tired to go out tonight. It can stay for one more night, but I’m bringing it back to where you found it tomorrow. And you have to take meds, I’m honestly surprised you haven’t taken them already.” “I forgot.” His words are stuffy, and his sentence is short, but there’s a light in his eyes that Kazuki can’t deny is worth it. “Figures. Well, as I said, you can’t keep it. Just one more night, then it’s going back. In our line of work, we aren’t promised a tomorrow. We have to think about more than just ourselves. If we didn’t make it home, who would look after the cat? People who get hurt, it won’t just be us. You gotta think about that before you bring someone into your world.” There’s more meaning to the words than just a cat, and they both know it. But they also both know enough to not mention it. And there’s more to Rei wanting a cat then just wanting to take in strays. They both know that too. But again, the unspoken pact of silence remains. ~~~~~~~~~~ True to his word, Kazuki makes Rei take some meds, but lets him keep the cat for the night. When he wakes up in the morning and finds Rei asleep with the cat on the couch snuggled up to his chest, he almost breaks. But he can’t shake that voice in his head, the one that always likes to remind him that everyone they choose to love is in danger of losing them, or worse. Instead of waking Rei and making him go through a goodbye, Katsuki slips the cat into his arms, careful to close the door quietly. By the time he makes it back home, Rei is awake and gaming, no sign in his demeanour that there was ever something amiss. Kazuki thinks about telling him that he brought the cat back, but there’s no point. Rei knows that, and it’s not like telling him would change anything. “No more cats, okay?” There’s silence, but the slight sigh Rei releases gives him his answer. No more cats. Turns out, in a mere matter of weeks, it won’t matter to Rei anymore that they don’t have a cat. They get something much better, something that can give them both everything they’re missing. Fill a hole they didn’t even know they had~

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

[exceptionally-stupid]

Kabru trying his usual approach to undermining people against Laios is so funny. It’s like he’s a grandmaster at chess, poker, and everything else that requires mind-games coming up to a guy, fully expecting to beat him at any game under any circumstances, only to realize he didn’t prepare for the one thing he’d actually be faced with, which is a hotdog eating contest against a guy whose friends call him “the vacuum cleaner”.

[machine-saint]

honestly the original is still funnier than 85% of the edits people make

[demonzoro]

love a character that's like. i survived (<- not a brag) (<- this is a curse that weighs on me every waking hour)

[nmzuka]

whatever I'll post my addendum to it anyway

[avi-mation]

Apocalypse buddies

[ikeepseeingghosts]

If anyone is more interested in the work behind the Gävle goat there is apparently a documentary here, mostly in swedish, but what I found most charming is that you can climb into the goat through a door in it's behind.

And if you ever wondered: yes, according to rumors a couple have fucked in the Gävle goat. In 1966 in fact, the first year it was up and before any kind of arson. I don't know why they threw that into the documentary but this goat has layers is all I'm saying.

[shiwden]

- I’m not the child you once knew.

- No. That child would see you and run.

[maplebars]

desire

[anthropophageartist]

danger

[ditzybat]

tim: sweet dog you got there. gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog. tim: still training huh? gordon: red robin.. what do you mean? tim: ... tim: nevermind...

[paintalyx]

the funniest thing about ttrpgs is that you can create a guy and say "his name is blorbo bleebus. he sucks severely. i hope that many misfortunes befall blorbo bleebus. he does not deserve to be happy." and at least one of your friends will immediately jump in to say "noooo... don't bully blorbo bleebus... i love blorbo bleebus..."

[ao3commentoftheday]

fics that are like 500 to 1200 words or so often have a particular kind of energy to me - like the author sat bolt upright in bed, struck by the most brilliant inspiration of their entire lives, and then typed as fast as their fingers would allow them to in order to capture it all before it left.

oneshots that are just a straight, clear shot from the brain to the page with no real filter in between? that's good stuff right there.

[hansoeii]

Astarion 🌠

[mylittleredgirl]

okay tumblr’s exclusion from the twitter social media ban list is hilarious but genuinely we do not belong on there. if a real human person asks “where can i find you on social media” and your choice is a swift death or revealing your tumblr, most of us would simply expire. half of y’all change urls every week like you’re in witness protection. just imagine for one second attaching your wholeass government name to your latest two am clownposting and tell me that didn’t send a cold chill down your spine. the only place i ever want to see the words “connect with me on tumblr!” is on the ao3 profile of an author i’m actively stalking. anyone in the world can follow me except anyone i personally know. antisocial media.