#my bisexual experience in a nutshell

[motherfuckerunleashed]

I have some really unfortunate news to share

I’m leaving Karlach for Gale.

This is a very difficult time for the entire party and I would appreciate privacy and discretion as we navigate our adventure henceforth 😔

[misskattylashes]

Another Song Analysis!

Little Illusion Machine – Analysis

Disclaimer – as always this is my assumption. I’m not saying it’s fact! But I am working with the assumption that Alex and Miles’ sexual relationship began around the recording of The Age of the Understatement in 2008 and continued on and off from then on.

Little Illusion Machine was a B side to Hellcat Spangled Shalala by Miles Kane and the Death Ramps released in August 2011

Verse 1 (sung by Miles)

Swinging room to room

Planting something new

I’ve ridden the riddle, I’ll do it again

Back to the Wirral where it all began

Wirral ridder

Okay I am assuming this part of the  song is from Miles’ point of view seeing as he is from Birkenhead which is on the Wirral Peninsula in Merseyside. So given that I think this song is about coming to terms with being gay/bi we can assume his first sexual experiences would have been in his hometown. Swinging from room to room, could be referring to going from men to women.

[Chorus: Miles Kane]

Send a letter to me, baby

I'm on the edge of my seat

Send a letter to me, baby

Little illusion machine

I think this is self-explanatory. By this time, Alex was in his SIAS era cute boy next door, perfect boyfriend image. Which given that I am working under the assumption that Alex is bisexual, this is of course an illusion and Miles is desperate to see him.

Verse 2:

(Miles)

Riding through the gloom

Something beautiful

(Alex)

He’s ridden the riddle, he’ll do it again,

He’s going back to the Wirral where it all began

Wirral Riddler

I think this refers to Alex having sex with Miles. Interestingly Alex sings the line ‘he’s ridden the riddle, he’ll do it again’.  Like he is talking about himself and the riddle is Miles.  The line ‘riding through the gloom, something beautiful’ could have many meanings. Just that the experience is beautiful, or for the fact that when they perform it live, Miles points to Alex – it’s kind of obvious!

(Miles)

I tried it and I liked it

But it just never gets close enough

Send a letter to me, baby

I tried it and I liked it, but it never gets close enough, I think is sung from Miles’ point of view and is talking about heterosexual sex, especially when the next line is him asking Alex to contact him.

So, a short and simple one. In a nutshell, Miles prefers gay sex which he first experienced when he was younger.  Alex has been on the Kane Train and likes it and they’re both looking forward to their next hook up.

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

hiiiii💕💕💕 From the ask game Pride Edition!

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria

12. What is your favorite piece of LGBT media?

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender

ooooh, okay, this honestly stumped me because there is a lot to my gender i feel that i would always miss out mentioning, but like

traditional, static, crystalline and crystallised, but also fluid, like blood, its redness and shine; full of music and candy and horror and sweetness and pastel like qualities but also dark as hell. unimaginable. everything and nothing at once. traditional and non-conforming in one. like a galaxy that can still be read in a nutshell whilst contain multitudes. metal. rock n roll. operatic voices, fantastical and symphonic elements, haunted and abandoned nostalgia, synths, grandiosity, bubblegum, pop, glitter, fairy dust, bat wings, vampire fangs, ethereal natures, ballads, power ones or not, rock candy, candy floss, precious stones, mirrors, reflections, water, fire, tinsel, snow and ice and gold and silver and ashes and dust. ferocity and softness. infinite contradictions within one. can be reduced but also not. anything my heart desires. anything i'm in the mood for and that you can predict and cannot predict. i decide what makes sense and what doesn't. ancient and young at once. unfathomably complex and massive and yet also simple and with the essential things at any given time. also very gay and bisexual and often involved in attraction.

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria

goddd i feel like i'd always forget what to say and when i post this, i know i'll always forget something

but like, when i dress in a particularly soft masc way and a selfie with it looks really nice, especially with my pins and jewelry, or when i talk out loud to myself and realise the kind of deepness my voice has, or when people say Evan, or use he/him pronouns and use 'traditionally masc' terms like handsome, or when my girlfriend/partner refers to me as her boyfriend (especially if trans is there, honestly, so validating, because i love being trans) or when we talk about me being her 'pretty boy' which gives me butterflies

12. What is your favorite piece of LGBT media?

not so much canon but i'm obsessed with the tintin series and i very much constantly go back and forth on the characters' sexualities and genders, and frankly i'm fine experimenting with different scenarios, but there is very much a queer reading into the whole series. it has also helped me with my queerness and how i understand myself along with my life in general. it's very cathartic in many ways, such as this.

i also adore my girlfriend's fave show and her interest in it, the owl house. this one is very canon and i love seeing them express themselves through it with the queerness in sexuality and gender like with the main wlw couple, luz's bisexuality, the gender nonconformity and the canon nonbinary character with raine whispers. it also helps me to understand fae better to see how she talks about it as well and our dynamic together reflective of the characters.

[thegenderlesscarnie]

The Self as Scholar: On Memoir and Queer Theory

This blog is, at its core, a love letter to queer theory through the lens of autobiography.

If academia was a more stable and remunerative career path, I absolutely would have gone into gender and sexuality studies. A paper I wrote in college on asexual BDSM practitioners, based on interviews I conducted with self-identified asexual kinksters after hanging around in dungeons and reading blog posts online, is published in a relatively prestigious academic journal. I am more proud of that than of almost anything else I've ever done. I realized I had to start this blog because engaging with queer theory fulfills an intellectual craving in me, and offers a source for answers to the many questions I have about my own gender and sexuality. It is my intention to make queer theory relevant, to me and to my readers, using memoir.

In a nutshell, queer theory is a field of study that challenges normative ideas about gender and sexuality, particularly heteronormative ideas, which pervade all aspects of society and are perpetuated by institutions as forms of control and coercion. It emerged from a variety of cultural movements, including feminism and Black activism. It deconstructs and challenges the gender binary and other ideas of “normal” sexuality and gender expression, and seeks to understand the mechanisms of power that benefit cishet people while isolating and oppressing queer people. 

Despite being an academic field of study, queer theory is not coldly detached from the messy subjectivity of actually living as queer. In creating a system of ideas intended to explain sexuality and gender, it opens up new ways of understanding and exploring selfhood and subjectivity. As LGBTQ Nation writes in the essay, "What is queer theory and why is it important":

“For queer theorists, the word “queer” is not just an identity but rather a critique of the mere concept of creating and maintaining our identities.”

In essence, queer theory doesn't objectively document and describe gender and sexuality. It reflects and shapes queer ways of being in the world.

Similarly, the memoir is a form of writing that blurs the distinction between an autobiography and an essay. One might think that the two forms of writing would be mutually exclusive: the autobiography being, as Julie Avril Minich describes, “mediated, subjective, and inherently unreliable”, and the academic essay prizing objectivity and evidence. But the queer memoir in particular collapses the difference between objective theory and subjective experience, because for queers the theory is deeply personal. Queer theory can, in fact, offer a useful lens for understanding what Jack Halberstam calls the "strange temporalities, imaginative life schedules" and "willfully eccentric modes of being" that characterize queer life.

I first became interested in the potential of queer theory as a lens to explore queer living in the first work of queer theory I ever read, Pat Califia's "Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex." Califia is an American bisexual trans man who identified as a lesbian before his transition, and a prolific author of non-fiction essays about sexuality and feminism and of erotic poetry and fiction that touches heavily on lesbianism and BDSM culture. He is an outspoken gay activist and critic of repressive attitudes toward sexuality and pornography. "Public Sex" includes the bulk of his nonfiction work from 1979 to 1994. I was young when I read it, just figuring out my sexuality, and Califia's accounts of lesbian sexuality, BDSM, gender bending, non-monogamy, and "modern primitive" practices set my imagination on fire. I strove to emulate what he lays out in this passage:

"My insides and outsides match. I do not have to hide my identity or my feelings. The stress that I experience is from other people's prejudices, not from self-hate or self-doubt. Without this consistency, I would never be able to live more freely in the world or have an intimate relationship. You can't love or let yourself be loved if you're busy juggling lies and papering over your libido."

What I loved most about this book was how it seamlessly blends Califia's personal experiences with queer theory. His detailed accounts of life as a queer person, deeply enmeshed in the culture and politics of the people he's writing about, were interspersed with quotations from queer writers and theorists. Chapters ended with pages and pages of references. I loved the feeling that there was a whole community of people out there dedicating years of their life to furthering understanding of people like me. There was a whole world of knowledge available to me to explore. Queer theory is queer people engaged in dialogue with each other across time and space, and I find that endlessly inspiring.

It's this sense of hope and curiosity that I hope to engender with my writing, through using memoir to explore the relevance of queer theory. I think queer theory has enormous potential for storytelling, as a lens through which we can view and understand our own experiences. Too often queer theory is locked up behind paywalls, which is why I challenge myself to draw from articles and books that are available for free online whenever I can so it doesn't cost my readers to explore where their interests take them. I'm sure that there's something written by decades of queer scholars, activists, and community leaders that resonates with you, and I hope my writing can be an entry point.

Happy reading!

"In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies and Subcultural Lives," by Jack Halberstam

"Writing Queer Lives: 'Autobiography and Memoir,'" by Julie Avril Minich in The Cambridge Companion to American and Gay Literature

"What is queer theory and why is it important?," published in LGBTQ Nation

"Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex," by Pat Califia

And, my article in case you're interested (comment below if you want me to send you the pdf):

"Ace of BDSM Clubs: Building Asexual Relationships Through BDSM Practice," by Lorca Jolene

[happyfeetfuryroad]

Oh my god I finally get to be annoying about Zevran YES

(This will be VERY long and rambly so read at your own risk)

Oh gosh, where do I even begin. I love Zevran so much. I think he's one of - if not THE most underrated romanceable companion in Origins (I would have put him on par with Leliana but I still hold him as a touch more underrated because Leliana already got a lot of well-deserved love in her prequel DLC and in Inquisition). Nothing against Alistair or Morrigan, I think all the LIs in Origins are solid characters with compelling friendship/romance arcs, but I feel like Zevran often goes unnoticed or underappreciated in his complexity and I think it's a damn shame. So now I get to ramble about it to compensate lol

So, I think Zevran's character can be summed-up in one of my favorite quotes from his post-bedroom dialogue:

"I shall ask nothing more of you than you are willing to give."

I feel like this is who he is in a nutshell, regardless of whether you pursue him romantically or not. He doesn't open up to you, unless you make an effort to show that you care. He rarely, if ever, demands anything of you, and will always choose the path of least resistance. He's one of the least judgmental companions, and you can befriend him with relative ease without having to bend your Warden's morality too much (as opposed to Alistair and Morrigan, who are written to be compatible with a "good" Warden and a "cruel" Warden respectively - I'm oversimplifying, but you get my point).

Most importantly, however, he has one key difference with all other Origins companions, romanceable or not: his personal quest does not unlock until you get to the late game. Zevran is not someone you can speed-date or speed-befriend, no matter how many gifts you shower him with. And on top of that, when his personal quest does unlock, he's going to turn against your Warden, and force them to kill him, if you didn't get his approval high enough. I suspect this is why many players overlook him: the game really goes out of its way to make sure you don't get to know him unless you care.

Zevran himself also goes out of his way to make sure you don't read into him too much: some people dislike him because he falls into the "non-monogamous slutty bisexual" archetype (which I get, but also let's not act like bisexuals have to be monogamous and chaste to be worthy of respect, please and thank you), but I think that's on purpose. He was raised an orphan in a brothel and then sold to an assassin guild when he was a seven year old boy, which means he's much more comfortable with sex and acting sexual than with being emotionally vulnerable. The Antivan Crows took advantage of his talents and his background, and they groomed him to use his sexuality to manipulate his victims and to get out of trouble - which is exactly what he does in his banter with the Warden's other companions.

Now, this isn't me saying that the way he behaves in-game is always okay. Zevran does regularly harrass Wynne and Morrigan in particular, and that's unacceptable behavior regardless of context. What I do want to point out, though, is that this harrassment isn't so much predatory behavior (I will expand on this later, but Zevran is easily the most mature and attentive LI when it comes to consent) as it is a toxic defense mechanism against people who he feels are trying a bit too hard to read him or his motives. He hopes that by making unwanted and obnoxious sexual advances, they'll leave him alone - and it usually works. The Warden's companions, as well as any players who don't particularly care for Zevran as a character, end up seeing him as a one-dimensional hedonistic weirdo, and he's fine with that.

Interestingly, though, he doesn't behave like this with the Warden. His sexual advances are genuine, and he's much more careful to back off at the faintest sign of rejection. Zevran has known sexual coercion all too well, and he's adamant not to let anyone repeat that experience with him. And I cannot, cannot properly stress how formative this part of his characterization has been to my lonely teen self, when I was playing this game for the first time.

Other Origins romances have some sort of pressure to them, one way or another. Alistair and Leliana follow a kind of amatonormative "fall in love first, have sex when monogamously committed" narrative, and Morrigan is an emotional wreck with commitment issues who will literally slap the Warden in the face if he doesn't break up with her despite her refusing to do it herself.

Now, I'm not saying any of this to belittle those romances, don't get me wrong! Like I said before, they're all well written characters and their romances fit perfectly with who they are as people. What I'm trying to get at is, Zevran is unique in how he refuses to pressure the Warden one way or another. All he does is offer his companionship, and then graciously accept either your acceptance or your rejection. Despite all his trauma and his terrible coping mechanisms, he still has the emotional maturity to know that he doesn't own you and that it's okay if he's not your priority. He also makes it very clear that he's against unethical non-monogamy, by calling your character out if you romance him and any of the other (monogamous) LIs at the same time. He even offers to be the one to step away because he's that much of a sweetheart who puts everyone else's happiness before his own AGH-

Again, I can't properly express what a rare, positive role model he is, for a love interest in an RPG. Stumbling across him as a teenager with zero relationship experience gave me a framework for how consent works that I will always be infinitely grateful for.

But sex is not all there is to Zevran's romance. It might seem like it because, again, he takes so long to open up compared to all other LIs - but the signs are there, even before his post-Taliesen crisis.

The poem he recites to the Warden? The one he claims was recited to him by someone he killed? Yeah. No. He 100% wrote that. He's nervous and sheepish and constantly belittles it as trash and also it conveniently rhymes in fereldan despite him operating in Antiva- It's obviously an attempt to be charming without being too vulnerable about it, and I find it... so precious. Like... come on. The man has the guts to write them a poem without even knowing if they feel anything for him besides lust. I need to lie down.

Also - and here we get into major YMMV territory, because the Warden is very much a blank canvas and their story can be interpreted in a million different ways - I haven't seen many people point out how, in relation to the Warden (especially if you play as one of the more disadvantaged origins - including the elf mage which is my favorite for reasons I don't have time to ramble about right now), Zevran can act as a more or less direct foil to Wynne, specifically.

Wynne will always criticize the Warden for their romantic involvements, but the reason for her criticism can be slightly different depending on who you're romancing. With Zevran, she can barely hide her contempt for his laid-back, pleasure-seeking attitude, and all but shames the Warden for indulging in such pleasures instead of focusing all of their energies on being the stoic, no-nonsense, and perpetually self-depriving martyr that all Grey Wardens are imagined (or expected) to be.

But this isn't just Wynne's expectation, is it? Pretty much everyone looks up to the Warden as a leader, the one who is meant to single-handedly carry on the legacy of Ferelden's Grey Wardens and gather an army against a spreading Blight. Even Alistair, his senior in the order, would rather take a backseat and let this young recruit carry the weight of the whole world on their shoulders. Even Morrigan, eventually, is revealed to have wanted something from them all along.

But Zevran? He doesn't want nor expect anything from the Warden. Sure, he wants to see the Blight destroyed as much as the next guy, but he never really puts any emphasis on the role that the Warden is expected to play in it (except for the one time he remarks about how both they and Zevran's roles are the product of a life of suffering). All he ever focuses on is how they're doing. What they want and need. If you manage to get his approval high enough without ever initiating sex, he will eventually proposition you himself, and for how flirty and silly it is, I think it's also genuinely sweet:

Zevran: "Look at you. Your weary stance. The dark circles under your eyes. Poor man, all this constant walking has gotten to you. Do you know what you need?"

Warden: "A good night's rest, maybe."

Zevran: "Hmm. I think more drastic measures are called for, here." Zevran: "My thought is this: we retire to your tent and I show you the sort of massage skills that one only learns growing up in an Antivan whorehouse."

Warden: "Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

Zevran: "If you mean to ask whether there will be more than a massage involved, allow me simply to say that you won't be disappointed with any of the techniques I've picked up over the years."

Warden: "Are you sure about this?"

Zevran: "(chuckles) What is there to fear, my Grey Warden? You deserve a little fun, do you not? If you're not of a mind, however, it is no tragedy."

Yes I did type all this out by heart why do you ask

But like... he's right. The Warden DOES deserve a little fun, dammit. They're a young, traumatized person who got forcibly drafted into a death cult after suffering a horrible personal loss and is expected to just be fine with it and suffer in silence Catholic style. Zevran is the only one seeing them struggle and offering them a moment of levity, no strings attached.

And I like to think that, as their relationship blossoms, the Warden comes to realize that they deserve better than to live like a martyr for the rest of their life. That after saving the world from the apocalypse, they deserve the happiness that their traumatic past and the Grey Wardens tried so hard to deny them. And so, after the events of Awakening and all the DLC, they finally cast away their role as a world-saving hero and embark on a quest to defeat the poison killing them from within.

Similarly, Zevran eventually realizes that he deserves love, and softness, and a happy life with someone who is caring and gentle with him. And I like to think that this is why, out of all the original LIs, he's the only one who stays by the Warden's side during the events of Inquisition.

So yeah. Zevran is wonderful. He means so much to me, a queer lad who grew up feeling as doomed and deprived as the Grey Wardens are in the game - raised to believe that happiness wasn't meant for me, that I had a higher role to fulfill that required me to suffer until the day I died. I can't begin to explain how healing it has been to play through this game, and through Zevran's journey, for all these years. When I finally met my partner, and the loneliness that the game had helped to soothe went away, it felt as if a prophecy had finally been realized. It sounds silly, and I wouldn't know how to elaborate on that, but yeah. This character means a lot to me, on a very personal and intimate level.

And as a thanks for reading through my insufferably long rambling, here is my favorite audio to come out of the pandemic. Peace out.

would y’all do me a favor? reblog this and tell me WHY your favorite dragon age companion is your favorite. this is a free pass to be annoying and rambly I wanna read some positivity

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

god left a long time ago (and took the tenderness with him)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/yq3wJp0 by ijusthavealotoffeelings It’s strange, Castiel thinks, how your body can become a memorial to your own suffering. OR After a fateful day when a newly-human Cas is taken prisoner and subjected to the worst humanity has to offer, he has to learn and re-learn what it means to love and be loved within a body that has endured so much trauma. Luckily for him, he has his family and the love of his life there to help him through it. Words: 5439, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jody Mills, Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Claire Novak Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 10 AU, maybe? this fic doesn't have a specific timeline, ok i suck at tags but it's important for this one so let's get the major stuff out of the way, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Rape Aftermath, Aftermath of Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, yes this fic does get fairly dark, it explores the aftermath and healing of sexual assault, but it still has a happy ending because those are just the kinds of stories i write, Lets Play A Game Called, How Much Can I Project Onto My Favorite Characters in One Fic?, seriously though guys, this is just a lot a lot of me projecting my own experiences and trauma onto cas, trigger warning, seriously please read with caution!, READ THE TAGS YA'LL!!, i don't want anyone to get triggered reading this, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, is my catholic guilt showing in this?? hmm, again. this is just me projecting. everyone deals with sexual assault differently, pretty much based off my own experiences, ok i realized i'm making this sound super depressing but i swear it's hopeful too, my life in a nutshell really, ok right back to actual tags, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Past Prostitution, ok i think i got em all, me actually acknowledging both sam and dean's canon trauma bc the writers suck at it, everybody needs therapy in this fic, Domestic Team Free Will (Supernatural), Fluff, because there is some in this fic believe it or not!!, i pinky promise this has a happy ending!!!!!, also there is of course consensual smut in this bc im me, SO, With that in mind, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Developing Relationship, Love Confessions, First Time, First Kiss read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/yq3wJp0

[hotdogrin]

My I request a matchup for AOT!

Age/Gender /Sexuality: I am at the age of 17. My pronouns are she/her and I am currently bisexual.

Looks : I stand at a height of 5"3 with honey-coloured skin. My hair is black and wavy, extending up to my back, though I often hold it in a ponytail. My eyes are downturned, hazel in colour, with a mole situated just below my right eye. My face is round with a button nose, and my eyes are slightly round top with eye bags due to late-night studying. The side bangs of my hair often cover a portion of my face.

Personality: I am a sun Aquarius and moon scorpio, a kuudere and a slytherin.I have been defined as intelligent and driven, however, I also have a tendency to be obstinate and dislike facing challenges. Additionally, I am somewhat awkward and can have withdrawn emotional tendencies with sudden outbursts of anger. Despite this, I tend to remain calm in situations of chaos and maintain a stoic demeanour, which may give off the impression of being aloof or robotic. Overall, I am introverted and generally collected in my interactions with others. At first glance, I may seem methodical and composed with a logical mindset, and dislike interfering in unnecessary things. However, people who spend more time with me know that I am an intelligent, patient, and kind individual who wholeheartedly devoted myself to my work, family, and friends. While some may not understand my sense of humour, I am also known to be emotional at times, yet good at controlling my feelings. Although I may feel anxious around strangers, my close friends know that I like to joke around and maintain a cheerful demeanour. I am also very loyal, and once we become friends, I will never turn against you no matter what the situation requires. People also call me the mom and smart friend. Though I look impatient, I am really patient and kind with other feelings as they are humans too. 

Likes: Anime, manga, reading, drawing, writing, chocolate, freedom, justice, indoors, hugs, deep conversations, going on walks, food, sleeping, night sky, cooking, stew and hanging with my friends.

Dislikes: injustice, jerks, ego-maniacs, crowds, weak people who take pity on themselves,, liars, war, being alone, see others experience extreme and internal turmoil, and unnecessary casualties 

Type:  I am drawn to individuals with dark hair. While many people may prefer blue or grey eyes, I am partial to warm, green eyes - they are my absolute favourite. The person in question should be capable of displaying maturity when required and taking care of themselves, but should also relish feeling taken care of, as it is endearing. I am looking for someone who will not shy away from standing up for themselves or their loved ones, and who is willing to make sacrifices for the betterment of their loved ones. Furthermore, they should be able to help me loosen up and breathe some life into me. They are the sun to my moon, the yang to my yin. They must have a clear goal in mind and be willing to put in the work to achieve it. In a nutshell, I am not seeking someone who is wholly sweet, but perhaps someone who possesses a caring nature. Someone who is hardheaded, strong-willed, passionate, and determined. Who can understand others and is selfless but also takes time to themself. My love language is physical touch and acts of service.

Thank you for your time.

A/N: yeah dawg you were right about being intelligent, your vocabulary is amazing yowza

For Attack on Titan I match you with…

Eren Jaeger!

- Eren is loyal to a fault; he will stick by you through thick and thin. You mentioned you are looking for someone who is willing to make sacrifices, and you’re in luck! Eren un-ironically is the CEO of sacrifices. He would absolutely give up his right kidney or something for you, and would drop everything should you say the word!

- While he matches your personality in many ways, his eccentricity, boldness, and passion (as seen in earlier seasons; I’m ignoring how he is in recent season lol) will be the push you need to feel more comfortable around others and gain confidence in social settings

- He admires your loyalty, and that combined with your protective nature reminds him a bit of Mikasa. He also greatly admires your intelligence, and your quick thinking definitely would help him in some of the many crazy situations he finds himself getting in to.

Only a few months late 💀 sorry boss

[female-malice]

TrevorSpace markets itself as a safe space for LGBTQ+ young people to talk about their experiences with identity and peer/familial rejection, which sounds like a great idea. But browsing the website for merely a few minutes makes it abundantly clear what it actually is: an online dating service for children and people aged 13-24. No website or chat room of this nature should cater to minors, especially one that encourages them to talk to adults. Adults in their 20s regularly talk to teenagers about sexuality and gender transition on Trevorspace. Profiles specify whether the user is over or under 18, but there is no procedure to verify whether the user is answering truthfully. Not only is the website specifically for children and adults, but someone of any age can say that they are a minor and have inappropriate conversations with kids.

...

The kids who use this predatory dating service have threads and forums about how the website has “too many groomers and pedophiles,” yet the adults that they trust in their lives are telling them that it is a good source for social support. It is an identity crisis in a nutshell. The service is full of frantic posts from teenage girls freaking out over the fact that they are unsure of their sexual identity and how this is something that they need to figure out immediately. Since when is that considered appropriate? The most disturbing part is that a lot of these girls express that they are same-sex attracted. Instead of being told that there is nothing wrong with being gay and that they will figure this out eventually, The Trevor Project tells them that they are actually boys trapped in female bodies and minors need to be chemically castrated as soon as possible or there is a 40% chance that they will kill themselves. This overused statistic is a lie and The Trevor Project is facilitating the spread of this lie.

There are posts where girls say that they realized they were attracted to women and transitioned into boys in order to become straight. This is a new form of conversion therapy. Studies show that nearly 80% of these children will reach adulthood and realize that they are just gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Trevorspace is a grooming nightmare come to life. It is a direct contribution to an impending health crisis in the gay community – an epidemic of detransitioned people whose lives have been ruined by this new form of teenage conversion therapy, which they were groomed into partaking in. Over the next decade, there is going to be a huge wave of detransitioners who realize that they were victims of conversion therapy and grooming. The wave has already started and is going to forever be a stain on our community that we look back on in horror. Given recent events in the UK and Mermaids, it is probably a smart idea to consider the possibility that a similar phenomenon is occurring across the pond.

Detransitioned people are usually shunned from the trans community and harassed by queer activists if they try to discuss their experience publicly. This is present in the Trevorspace forums. Kids who were permanently altered have made posts about feelings of regret. They are then chastised about how the detransitioner problem is a hoax and that recognizing their existence is considered hateful, invalidating, and harmful to the transgender community. If the transgender and queer community are so hung up on validation and accuse people of “denying their existence,” then why are they demanding that we deny the existence of gay people who were converted as kids and face medical/bodily harm for the rest of their lives? My community deserves better than that. Detrans people have a lot of important perspectives to contribute and they are welcome at our table any day.

(continue reading)

[licncourt]

Can you talk about the fetishization of Louis's beauty and humanity? Why is Louis's physical beauty associated with no personal agency (by the vampires and the fandom) where Lestat's is seen as a personal achievement?

Oh my God I most certainly can because this makes me angry enough to gnaw through wood.

I'm not going to get into the debate over reading Louis as female-coded here (though if anyone wants a post about that, I'll make one), but at the very least we know he was originally a self-insert of the author, a woman, so we are working with that association as a baseline. On the other hand, Lestat was inspired by a man, Anne Rice's husband. Regardless of any disagreements around these ideas, that's confirmed by the author.

With this in mind, I've dubbed the treatment of Louis in both canon and fanon misogyny by proxy. He's not the only male character in pop culture to experience this, but boy is he a prime example. In a nutshell, this is a phenomenon I've noticed where a gay or bisexual male character in a popular ship is placed in the "woman" role in their relationship and is treated in the same sexist way a female character would be.

Sometimes this is done by the author (AR absolutely does this, especially in later canon), by fandom, or by both (as is the case here). I've already complained about how often heteronormativity is forced onto gay ships, but this is just another facet of the issue. Basically, what you described happens because, in my opinion, AR and some fans project misogynistic tropes on Louis because they see him as a pseudo-woman (and Lestat as a "full man").

Louis in some fanon and in late canon is subject to many of the same things a female character would be: he's depicted as weak and passive, quiet and agreeable, his physical attractiveness makes him an object for consumption, he is submissive to Lestat (or in worse cases in fanon, a helpless victim and 'battered wife' with no strength of his own).

In all of these scenarios, his beauty and humanity (really implied to be mental and physical weakness) is fetishized in the way a woman's would be because that's the lens he's being depicted through. Louis being frequently female-coded wouldn't be nearly as much of an issue if AR and fandom spaces as a whole didn't have such a huge problem with misogyny. The treatment of Louis is very telling of how women are viewed.

In contrast, Lestat is the Real Man in this equation (which is pretty funny considering how GNC he is in the trilogy). Men who are conventionally attractive are prince charming, the rakish hero, the ladykiller. Physical attractiveness is an asset that allows a man to get more of what he wants. For a woman (real or coded), physical attractiveness makes for a more desirable object.

Lestat is the sexy leading man and Louis is his swooning damsel because the only way AR and people like her know how to depict a same-sex relationship is through tired heterosexual tropes. Notice how much more equal Louis and Lestat were written to be before their romance was explicit. The second the Loustat romance is solidified, Louis is forced to be the "woman" for AR's male power fantasy.

Unfortunately, this approach to Loustat is also disappointingly prevalent in VC fandom spaces. We should all be better than AR and not misogyny Louis or douchey-straight-manify Lestat. Please and thank you.

[noroi1000]

My I request a matchup for JJK

Age/Gender /Sexuality: I am at the age of 17. My pronouns are she/her and I am currently bisexual.

Looks : I stand at a height of 5"3 with honey-coloured skin. My hair is black and wavy, extending up to my back, though I often hold it in a ponytail. My eyes are downturned, hazel in colour, with a mole situated just below my right eye. My face is round with a button nose, and my eyes are slightly round top with eye bags due to late-night studying. The side bangs of my hair often cover a portion of my face.

Personality: I am a sun Aquarius and moon scorpio, a kuudere and a slytherin.I have been defined as intelligent and driven, however, I also have a tendency to be obstinate and dislike facing challenges. Additionally, I am somewhat awkward and can have withdrawn emotional tendencies with sudden outbursts of anger. Despite this, I tend to remain calm in situations of chaos and maintain a stoic demeanour, which may give off the impression of being aloof or robotic. Overall, I am introverted and generally collected in my interactions with others. At first glance, I may seem methodical and composed with a logical mindset, and dislike interfering in unnecessary things. However, people who spend more time with me know that I am an intelligent, patient, and kind individual who wholeheartedly devoted myself to my work, family, and friends. While some may not understand my sense of humour, I am also known to be emotional at times, yet good at controlling my feelings. Although I may feel anxious around strangers, my close friends know that I like to joke around and maintain a cheerful demeanour. I am also very loyal, and once we become friends, I will never turn against you no matter what the situation requires. People also call me the mom and smart friend. Though I look impatient, I am really patient and kind with other feelings as they are humans too. 

Likes: Anime, manga, reading, drawing, writing, chocolate, freedom, justice, indoors, hugs, deep conversations, going on walks, food, sleeping, night sky, cooking, stew and hanging with my friends.

Dislikes: injustice, jerks, ego-maniacs, crowds, weak people who take pity on themselves,, liars, war, being alone, see others experience extreme and internal turmoil, and unnecessary casualties 

Type:  I am drawn to individuals with dark hair. While many people may prefer blue or grey eyes, I am partial to warm, green eyes - they are my absolute favourite. The person in question should be capable of displaying maturity when required and taking care of themselves, but should also relish feeling taken care of, as it is endearing. I am looking for someone who will not shy away from standing up for themselves or their loved ones, and who is willing to make sacrifices for the betterment of their loved ones. Furthermore, they should be able to help me loosen up and breathe some life into me. They are the sun to my moon, the yang to my yin. They must have a clear goal in mind and be willing to put in the work to achieve it. In a nutshell, I am not seeking someone who is wholly sweet, but perhaps someone who possesses a caring nature. Someone who is hardheaded, strong-willed, passionate, and determined. Who can understand others and is selfless but also takes time to themself. My love language is physical touch and acts of service.

Thank you for your time.

A/n: Matchups are closed, but here it is for you.

I think your Jujutsu kaisen matchup is

Toji Fushiguro

Even though your personalities may be Little different, I see a connection in you. Especially since your type description is something that describes his in many ways. Black hair, green eyes. He shows maturity, despite the moments when he has uncontrollable frenzy fits. He is an adult, and he can take care of people close to him. Even if it doesn't work out for him.

He can worry about others and also meant well for his family. He was mature enough to start his own life, which only shows that he is independent and able to take care of himself and those who are supposed to be in his life.

Even if it may seem the opposite.

He's not that bad when it comes to his relationship with his family. It's just that his family was terrible and therefore he didn't know the feeling of why he should do anything differently.

This was never shown, however Toji would stand up for someone close to him right away. without hesitation. He can't fight to stand still.

And despite his murderous tendencies, he smiles, jokes. Sometimes his jokes are out of place. But well, what to do...

When he needed money, he worked to get it.

He is stubborn. So much so that you can see right away that he won't let anything go. Although he may try to stay calm, there are things that can easily throw him off balance.

He doesn't show much interest in his surroundings. His facial expression will not change, and he may also act as if he is ignoring others.

He knows he's making mistakes that can't be corrected later. But he never wanted anything terrible to happen. He works hard to get more than looks.

Headcanon:

• your meeting is like meeting two strangers. Fleeting glances, a little coldness to people you don't know.

But the more you two ran into each other, the more it started to change.

And in the end you were nice to each other.

• His smiles and weird jokes never leave any of your dates. It's just part of the real him.

• He hates self-pity. That's why he never told you about his terrible family life. He needed no sympathy or consolation. But he wouldn't complain either if he got it.

Maybe tormenting him by saying how poor he is isn't something he would want, but he doesn't forbid you from cuddling or touching him. Basically, he's getting you to do it.

• in your relationship, his ego doesn't fly off the ceiling. And it would never do that. You complement each other, creating an almost perfect balance between you.

• When you are patient enough with him, he is not so much. His patience runs out when he's had enough. His limit is set higher when it comes to you.

This man = jealousy.

He needs to be assured from you that you only want him. He's a little possessive and overprotective, but that's just a sign of his devotion to you.

• He appreciates that you judge him fairly. Some people might look at him and immediately think he's a gangster.

But when you think of him fairly, he can do nothing but the same for you.

• Don't make him repeat his love for you over and over again.

He may sit quietly and be nervous, however, when you sit next to him or stand still and he puts his arm around you, that is his genuine affection for you.

• Toji might complain so much about something you want, but he'll do it for you anyway. No matter what it is. You don't even have to convince him, just tell him that you want something. Go somewhere, buy something, do something. Even if he seems dissatisfied, every minute with you makes him enjoy life like never before.

[daffietjuh]

I watched all of Heartstopper today and now I want to read the graphic novel really badly.

What a wonderfully charming show!

Charlie made my heart hurt so many times, the kid was so ready to blame himself for everything and anything bad. Ben is such a shithead and so is Harry. 

And Nick, is just the bisexual experience in a nutshell isn't he? I love how he tried to do the right thing, even when he had no clue what he was doing. That realization of “oh wait, I hate all of my “friends” was so amazing

The rest of the cast was also lovely and felt super real and was amazingly diverse. 

Even though there was definitely drama, it didn’t feel the same as in pretty much every other series that follows the same sort of idea. I think it’s because of how much time Charlie and Nick were allowed to spend alone and happy? 

Anyways I really loved it and now I’m off to buy myself the graphic novels!

[finding-an-angle]

Newsies as Things My Family Said While Watching Livesies

So my family doesn't really like musicals. A few days ago, they agreed to watch Newsies with me, and I really liked their side comments :) Enjoy! Also, I'm Jack in these lol

Specs *during Santa Fe (Prologue): For the record, Santa Fe ain't fun. Just stay in New York.

---

Race: Wow, he’s kinda cute. Who is that?

Mike: OH!! It’s Winn from Supergirl!!

Jack: Mike, please be quiet before I disown you.

Jack: *proudly pats Race's back* That amazing human is Jeremy Jordan

---

Davey: Why don't the people buy newspapers from the circulation gate? Think about it. If 2 papers cost a penny, then why go to the newsies? Go straight to the source to get it cheaper

Jack: Please stop talking I like this part

---

Jojo: A grown man, who already has a lot of money bullies kids into giving him more money? This sounds like my high school experience in a nutshell...

---

Romeo *during I Never Planned on You*: When he sings to girls while they work, it's "romantic" but when I do it I'm "annoying and look desperate"

---

Crutchie *during Watch What Happens*: YES SING IT QUEEN!!

Jack: Louder for the people in the back

---

Albert *during Seize the Day*: Dang, I really thought they were gonna start singing a ballad or something, but I mean a song about taking down capitalism is cool too.

---

Spot *during Santa Fe*: I'm all for being depresso sometimes, but bruh you need some common sense in that thick skull of yours. Your friend is gone. Go get your friend then be sad.

Davey: Or be happy because your friend is okay...

---

Specs *also during Santa Fe*: Why does he like Santa Fe so much? It’s unhealthy to obsess over something all the time

Race: That’s real convincing coming from the guy that never got past their One Direction hyperfixation 

Specs: Loving something for 11 years is not bad. Like imagine being a parent. You have to love your child for as long as they live. 

Race: Bold of you to assume I’ll have kids

---

Finch *squealing during King of New York*: I have the sudden urge to take spoons from the kitchen and roll around in Heelys. Why Heelys? Because I can’t tap dance.

---

Davey *seeing the Brooklyn Newsies*: They really just go around wearing muscle tees?

---

Katherine *in tears during Letter from the Refuge*: This should be illegal. Disney did not have my permission to take my heart, squash it, then throw it in the shredder.

---

Albert *during Something to Believe In*: This is homophobic. There is no way Disney is making me believe they are straight when Jack Kelly exudes bisexual energy

---

Elmer *after the movie*: Where do I get a newsie? Just asking for a friend.

Jojo: I don't know, but I want one too

---

Davey: This movie should be illegal only because everyone is so pretty and talented

---

Jack: Well, does anyone want to watch Hamilton?

Everyone: *leaves immediately because they know Jack memorized all the songs and is going to sing along*

[thegenderlesscarnie]

Good luck!: On Comp Het

The first time I heard "Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan, I was sobbing by the first chorus. And every time it plays, a shiver goes through me and my sight blurs with tears.

It might seem strange, that a song written by a lesbian about her closeted lover hits me so hard. Though I am, blissfully, in a relationship with a girl, she is my first girlfriend and I do not identify as a lesbian. Before I dated her, I had only ever been with cishet men.

With one exception. And it's thoughts of him that flood my mind by the first three lines of Chappell's song.

I had a lover of five years, who I'll call R. I was 15 when we met, he was a year younger. Our circle of friends barely intersected, so we were only passing acquaintances until we were housed in the same dormitory in college. I was surprised at how glad I was at the prospect of seeing him daily, even more so by how much I looked forward to running into him in the stairwell after dorm meetings, where I'd drag out conversations with him as long as I could. He was studying classical literature and philosophy, spoke Latin fluently, and had a natural aptitude for math. He had sable hair and eyes the color of withered leaves in autumn. Within a few months I knew I wanted to sleep with him. It wasn't long until I got what I wanted. The morning after he knocked on my door, and he didn't go back to his room for the rest of the school year.

It sounds romantic. It was. I was the happiest I had ever been. But we agreed that it wouldn't last. He intended to transfer the next year. I had a boyfriend back home and he wanted a monogamous relationship with kids. So the last night we spent together we promised each other it was over.

But it wasn't. We couldn't keep away from each other. For the next five years I'd make my way to the city where he lived. Every time we'd promise it would be the last. And every time it wasn't. He dated people, I dated people, it didn't matter. We couldn't quit each other.

But something changed in him. When he used to be so passionate about his interests and intellectually curious, he became detached and somber. I attributed it to the pressure of school, to the kind of girls he was dating, to his drinking. And I'm sure that was partly true. But I started to notice how he'd act around his best friend. He became particularly animated around him. He'd joke about us all having a threesome. He looked at him with an expression that was very familiar to me.

Long story short, I came to realize that I was sleeping with a bisexual in absurd denial of his true self.

How did this even happen?

Many AFAB lesbians, as they venture out of the closet, come across the term, "compulsory heterosexuality," or "comp het." The term was coined by Adrienne Rich in her essay, "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Experience," published in 1980. Rich, who identified as a political lesbian, came out late in life after having children and becoming widowed. In a nutshell, compulsory heterosexuality describes the way that AFAB people are socialized into assuming that they are heterosexual because they are never made aware of alternative options. Society teaches them that the very idea of being a woman is inextricably linked with being heterosexual. So they unquestioningly enter heterosexual relationships, where they submit to the subjugation that a male-dominated society places upon them, and ignore or resist intimate relationships with women. As Rich puts it:

"Women learn to accept the inevitability of this 'drive' because they receive it as dogma."

She states that compulsory heterosexuality is enacted by men exercising power over women, by commanding and exploiting their labor, stifling their creativity, withholding education and culture, denying their sexuality, and forcing sexuality upon them. She also explores the intersection of compulsory heterosexuality with capitalism, in that women are indoctrinated into heterosexuality because of their economic disenfranchisement at the hands of men. She writes about how women participate in their own subjugation by identifying with male values and points of view, which perceive women as lesser.

I was aware of the idea of compulsory heterosexuality, as I am an AFAB queer person who has spent most of their life in relationships with cishet men. But faced with a closeted AMAB lover, I found my understanding glaringly limited because of how much Rich's concept of the term centers on the lesbian experience. In her essay, Rich was concerned about two things: one, how and why women's choice to be intimate with other women has been "crushed, invalidated, forced into hiding and disguise;" and two, how erasing the existence of lesbians theoretically and politically holds back feminism.

I was faced with the question: what does compulsory heterosexuality look like for AMABs? Society does not perpetrate subjugation of men at the hands of women. Women generally do not have power over men. So how are AMABs socialized to assume that they are straight, pressured to have straight relationships, and taught to reject same-sex intimacy? And how can they free themselves?

I don't know the answer to this question. I have my own ideas. I could try to psychoanalyze R. Was it because of his Latine culture's emphasis on a kind of masculinity that demands heterosexuality? Was it because he internalized our society's homophobic lesson that happy and stable same-sex relationships aren't possible? Was it because he hated his father? None of those answers satisfy me.

But I do know how compulsory heterosexuality hurts you. Rich did too. She describes:

"The doublethink many women engage in and from which no woman is permanently and utterly free... indoctrination in male credibility and status can still create synapses of thought, denials of feeling, wishful thinking, a profound sexual and intellectual confusion."

I could see clearly all of those effects on him, in the jokes, the regretted hook-ups, the drinking, the serial cheating. I remember one afternoon in Paris, we were chain-smoking on the balcony of a beautiful flat his girlfriend's parents owned, and between the second and third cigarette he turns to me and says:

"Sometimes I dream about sucking cock."

What could I say? I say:

"I know, babe."

Yeah, good luck with that.

R and I don't talk anymore. Last I heard he converted to Catholicism, changed his name, became a lawyer, and got engaged to a girl he met at his parish.

It is sad to me that we could have supported each other, each grappling with comp het in our own ways. We could have been a good match, with me being both a girl and a boy, depending on how you look at it. But how could I expect him to shake off comp het feelings when we know so little about how queer men are hurting, let alone how they can heal? I don't have any answers.

But I wish him all the best in the world.

Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence, by Adrienne Rich

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

8,9,10,11 ✨️

this is so important, i love this so much!!

8. What other identities are you, if any?

I remember I thought I was just asexual, but going back and forth between sexuality and gender over the past 6 years I've realised other things that I didn't expect. Nonbinary and trans guy have suited me, often in a nutshell because I have a complicated history with my gender - which I might regard as bigender or genderfluid if I didn't have discomforting associations with other genders - and understanding I am ace-spec as well as aro-spec has helped a lot.

I do use queer - to put it into more detail, though, I use greysexual, bisexual and demiromantic amongst my nonbinary trans guy identities, as I definitely know to some degree I feel attracted to at least two genders sexually because goddamn, everyone is so cute and pretty, but I only feel romantic attraction when there's an emotional connection involved.

9. Who’s the first person you came out to, if any?

As specifically asexual, my mum for sure. I still regret being that quick on the draw, but over the years, I've been out to people I know with how it's changed for years and more recently, on Facebook.

10. Has anyone ever come out to you as ace-spec?

Not totally exactly, but I do remember people asking me about asexuality over the years. I've had people debate especially if they were demisexual or come out to me as it, and I think that's also helped me understand my own asexual identity more myself. I think with asexuality having a little more visibility, it's interesting to see people understand their relationship with sexual attraction more often.

11. Have you ever been to pride as an ace person? What was it like?

I have!! Every year since 2016 (except 2020). I can't remember it exactly, but it was certainly an experience and I was so glad to be out about it!! My ace identity is never watered down and I always make sure to display it because it is just as extremely important to me as my other ones.

Also, 21 year old me at my first pride!!

still got that t-shirt!! makes a fabulous pyjama top as of current.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

god left a long time ago (and took the tenderness with him)

god left a long time ago (and took the tenderness with him) https://ift.tt/XK0jQa9 by ijusthavealotoffeelings It’s strange, Castiel thinks, how your body can become a memorial to your own suffering. OR After a fateful day when a newly-human Cas is taken prisoner and subjected to the worst humanity has to offer, he has to learn and re-learn what it means to love and be loved within a body that has endured so much trauma. Luckily for him, he has his family and the love of his life there to help him through it. Words: 5439, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Categories: M/M Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jody Mills, Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Claire Novak Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 10 AU, maybe? this fic doesn't have a specific timeline, ok i suck at tags but it's important for this one so let's get the major stuff out of the way, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Rape Aftermath, Aftermath of Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, yes this fic does get fairly dark, it explores the aftermath and healing of sexual assault, but it still has a happy ending because those are just the kinds of stories i write, Lets Play A Game Called, How Much Can I Project Onto My Favorite Characters in One Fic?, seriously though guys, this is just a lot a lot of me projecting my own experiences and trauma onto cas, trigger warning, seriously please read with caution!, READ THE TAGS YA'LL!!, i don't want anyone to get triggered reading this, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, is my catholic guilt showing in this?? hmm, again. this is just me projecting. everyone deals with sexual assault differently, pretty much based off my own experiences, ok i realized i'm making this sound super depressing but i swear it's hopeful too, my life in a nutshell really, ok right back to actual tags, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Past Prostitution, ok i think i got em all, me actually acknowledging both sam and dean's canon trauma bc the writers suck at it, everybody needs therapy in this fic, Domestic Team Free Will (Supernatural), Fluff, because there is some in this fic believe it or not!!, i pinky promise this has a happy ending!!!!!, also there is of course consensual smut in this bc im me, SO, With that in mind, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Developing Relationship, Love Confessions, First Time, First Kiss via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/JKyWp7z December 12, 2023 at 04:32PM

[writing-with-olive]

How to do LGBTQ+ rep in fantasy/sci-fi

Alrighty so a lot of people talk about when you are representing marginalized groups, it’s often best to go with the appropriate label - it’s unambiguous that they are a member of that community, and there’s a sense of validation and being seen by members of the community IRL. And this is amazing advice that I stand by.

Except sometimes you can’t.

See, explicit representation is good, but if you’re writing, say, a Tolkein-esque fantasy, a lot of the words are different. Most common nouns and adjectives are going to stay the same, but many labels and concepts that we have today just don’t exist. This means that randomly including said terms will break immersion and honestly feels kind of awkward regardless of whether the reader is a member of the community or not.

The first thing to remember is that we have labels because they sum up a common experience between many people. The label is used as a way of communicating that common experience succinctly. In many ways, this is the same for most concepts. Don’t want to say “item that gets sent in an envelope or a cardboard box and is often something that is meaningful in some way to the recipiant?” try instead: “package”

Including LGBTQ+ rep in your fantasy/sci-fi world is pretty much akin to reverse-engineering the language. You’re starting out with a single unit of information, and because that unit doesn’t fit into the story as is, you need to break it down into it’s component parts. Aka, describe the experience. If it is prominant in your story, you can also reassemble the experience into a new word that does fit. This is the equivilant of just switching the word bisexual or trans or lesbian with another word that better matches the narrative tone. (Note that this is not always necessary, and the default is to not do this, but is an option that is open to you)

You can pretty much include information about who a character is but spelled out anywhere you’d include the same information but using a label, or even bake it in somewhere a label simply wouldn’t fit. Honestly, the options are pretty much endless.

EXAMPLES

-  “Nalia? She was... that was flirtin -- she’s into me? She likes women?” 

-  Krion knew introducing Roald and Lillian could be dangerous; the only thing they had in common was the fact they were both former lovers to Malcom. But he had been captured and now Krion was desperate for anyone who might be willing to help get him back. 

-  “I’ve only been beaten once in a sparring match - a young woman from the Theta Legion, and she was damn good. You, sir, don’t stand a chance.” The commanding officer crossed his arms. So he hadn’t realized. It wasn’t that hard to beat him before, not when he was so smug and confidant and left his left side completely open. I forced my smile down. I’ll smile once I’ve thoroughly kicked his ass tomorrow.

- “That is Emrys. No they do not with anyone, and no they do not want to be. They will probably turn you into a beetle if you start flirting, so don’t get any ideas.”

And in a nutshell, that is how you tell your audience a character is queer. Have fun with it and don’t forget to get a sensitivity reader if you’re not a part of the LGBT community :D