#my english teacher had no idea what she was going to do to my brain when she showed that clip from season 2 for us to study in class

[insecateur]

thinking about him a lot these days so here's an alexander mahone doodles dump from when i did my rewatch back in january 2021

[ashwhowrites]

I hath come bearing a request:

Bully!Eddie with an insecure Reader where he openly flirts with someone else where she can see in an effort to make her jealous, and it does. She is jealous of the nicer version of his attention they’re receiving, but she’s more sad than anything else.

She’d started to think that maybe he did pick on her because he was interested. Like how boys would pull a girl’s hair back in elementary school. But after seeing him flirt with someone else, she realizes that can’t be the case.

Reader supposes that no one wants her. Even the “freak” of Hawkins High is beyond her league.

Happy ending if you can, pretty please 🩷

I'm usually against bully!Eddie but I did like the angst in this so I'm going to do it but he won't be like a huge bully, just an ass? I hope this is what you were looking for and I tried to make it happy :) ( with the help from my SB)

Never proofread

There's a time in life where the line between love and hate is blurry and no amount of staring at that line will make it clear.

Y/N was on the love side, she had big feelings for Eddie. Her nose in the air as she follows the scent of his strong musky cologne and a hint of weed. She couldn't pick who she fell for, it was out of her control. She didn't want to love him, but she did. She had so many reasons why she loved him but there was one big reason why she shouldn't- he hated her.

Eddie was on the hate side of that line. She can't pin point where she pissed him off or what she did to make him hate her. It was like the second they met, he pushed her and she fell in love. She's an idiot and she knew that. It was obvious he didn't like her. The rude comments sent her way about all the little things she does. He teased her, tripped her, smacked her books in the hallway, but all her heart focused on was that he interacted with her.

Her dumb heart craved to be near him, even though her brain was screaming how horrible of an idea it was.

She already suffered with insecurities and somehow Eddie knew how to hit all the open wounds.

A part of her thought maybe he did like her, he just wasn't sure how to show it. He didn't seem like the type to be affectionate and sweet. Maybe this was the only way he knew how to show his emotions. Or maybe that was a shitty delusion she created to help her sleep at night.

~~~

Y/N heard from other students that there was going to be a partner project in English and she hated that she knew no one in that class, except Eddie.

She knew if she asked he'd shut her down and embarrass her in front of everyone watching so she planned to do this project alone. But turns out the teacher already assigned partners.

"Y/N and Eddie"

Y/N perked at the sound of their names, her eyes finding his body. He had an annoyed expression on his face. She felt her heart drop, he didn't want to be near her.

"Excuse me?" Eddie announced, throwing his hand in the air. The teacher rolled his eyes but allowed Eddie to speak.

"what If I can't stand my partner and rather fail the project than spend a second with her?" His words were cruel and mean. She hated the smirk on his face when looked over at her.

The whole class erupted in laughs, with a few pity looks sent her way. She couldn't tell which hurt worse, people laughing or people feeling bad for her. She shrunk down in her seat, Eddie once again embarrassed her for his own pleasure.

"Munson. Watch your mouth." The teacher talked over the class.

Against his will, Eddie accepted that she was his partner. Her head down as she walked over to his desk. Holding her breath as she took the seat next to him.

"I'm sorry you got partnered with me " she whispered, looking at his eyes as he glared at her.

"You should be." He snapped.

~~~

Being his partner was just as miserable as she thought. Every time she sat in that English class next to him, he shared every thought he had about her. He never had anything nice to say.

"Yellow is not your color." He said in disgust as she sat next to him, in her new yellow sundress. A dress that had her smiling all morning. Now the material against her thighs made her sick to her stomach.

Then the project moved to her house. Apparently, her room was not to his liking.

"Books? Fucking nerd. People with lives don't have time to read." He snickered

She just shrugged it off.

"you know you might be pretty if you actually tried." He mocked, looking through the book, his eyes never looking at her.

....might be pretty

If she changed, would he like her?

If she changed everything he hated, would he have anything left to say?

~~~

They've been working on the project for a few days. Every day she changed little by little. She threw the yellow dress in her trash. She packed away the books she barely read. Tore off every girly poster on her wall and removed all the things he pointed out on her desk. She styled her hair every day, and learned how to do make up that would show she "tried" every day.

And he never said anything

Just found new things to hate about her.

She was starting to wonder why he hadn't run out of anything yet. He somehow found something wrong about her every single day. Things she didn't think she would dislike about herself.

But he noticed everything about her, that means he liked her, right?

~~~

He didn't like her

It was apparent now

It was the final day in class to work on the project, and the whole hour was spent watching Eddie and a random girl flirt.

Her name was Brie, and Eddie seemed to really like her.

He was.....nice

His eyes were soft, never glaring at her.

He complimented her. On her hair, outfit, makeup, and personality.

Paying no attention to the project they need to work on. He was all focused on her and how perfect she was.

If Eddie ever liked her, he would treat her the same way he was treating Brie.

The line between love and hate was not as blurry as she thought.

~~~

Watching Eddie flirt with Brie today was not how she wanted her day to go, and now she had to end her day with Eddie.

She sat silently on her bed as he made his way through the bedroom door. She wanted to finish the project and never spend another second near him again.

But Eddie looked around her room confused, and walked over to each corner.

"What?" She snapped, guessing he was taking in her room to find something else wrong with it.

"Where are all your books?" He found himself asking.

Y/N was annoyed by the question.

"None of your business, Can we work now?" Her attitude was noticeable in her tone.

Eddie swallowed and sat next to her, beginning to work on the project. Yanking the notebook paper too hard, ripping the piece in half.

He quickly crumpled it up and went to throw it in the trash, spotting the familiar yellow dress in it.

"Why did you throw this away?" He asked, taking the dress out, nothing else was in the trash so it was untouched.

She looked up, her eyes turning hard when she spotted the color. She hated that his eyes seemed guilty. He wasn't sorry.

"Who cares, it didn't look good on me so I don't need it. Look can we work or not? We already missed an hour because of your little date with Brie this afternoon." His constant interruptions were driving her crazy.

She watched Eddie drop the dress on her desk, a smirk growing on his face.

"Jealous of the pretty girl?" He mocked. His eyes switched back to that teasing look.

She rolled her eyes and put her focus on the project. But Eddie didn't appreciate the silence. Walking up to her as she sat on the bed.

"I asked you," he said, gripping her chin to look up at him, "Were you jealous of her?"

She wanted to smack the smug look off of his face.

She yanked her jaw out of his grip, slamming the book as she stood up. Chest to chest with him as she huffed.

"YES! I am fucking jealous. But not because she's pretty and she knows how to capture your attention. But because you were so nice to her. You didn't pick her apart until she was a tiny shell of a person! I just thought maybe you picked on me because you liked me, but I can see I thought wrong." She ranted out, catching her breath at the end as Eddie stared at her. He slowly blinked as he took in her words.

"I threw away the dress because all it did was remind me how much you fucking hated it. I got rid of the books because you made fun of my interests. You made me hate the remaining parts of myself that I actually liked." She continued, her eyes filling with water.

Eddie didn't know what to say, but the regret was clear in his eyes as he looked at her sadly. He figured he should start with an apology.

"Y/N...I am so sorry...I'm sorry." He whispered, reaching forward to wipe her tears but she stepped back. Protecting herself as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Just go." She whispered back, keeping her focus on the floor.

"Please let me f-" He started but she caught him off.

"Eddie, I don't care what else you have to say. I am done talking to you. Please just go."

~~~

She dreaded going to school. Eddie left last night when she asked, and she's been terrified to see him again. She didn't bother to believe his apology, there was a good chance he didn't mean it.

She stayed up all night finishing the project, she did not want to work with him again.

She was walking to class, eyes on the floor as she always does. She grew more and more nervous as she made it closer to English. Preparing herself to see Eddie again.

Before she knew it, she felt her body being shoved to the ground. She didn't have time to catch herself and smacked her nose against the floor. She gasped at the horrible pain that shot through her nose, cradling it softly. She could feel her hands getting wet from blood. She looked up, expecting it to be Eddie, but it wasn't. It was someone who bullied people to an extreme amount, Jason.

She felt the tears flowing down her face. Crying from the pain in her nose and the embarrassment running through her body as everyone laughed and stared.

"HEY!" she heard Eddie's familiar scream. Her body froze as he raced towards her. Fear in his veins as she worried about what he would add to her suffering.

His eyes looked over her frame, glaring once he spotted the blood leaking through the cracks of her fingers. The familiar dangerous look in his eyes almost had her apologizing for nothing at all. But then he turned, right fist clenched as he knocked Jason straight to the floor.

The crowd gasped and moved closer. Silent for a small minute before another punch landed on Jason's face. Once the students caught a sight of blood coming out of Jason's nose, the crowd began to scream, encouraging the violence in front of them.

She didn't understand why Eddie was beating the hell out of Jason, and not joining him. She used the distraction to get up and race to the nurse. Running as fast as she could away from the crowd that was focused on the new fight at hand.

"DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH HER!"

The anger in Eddie's voice almost made her turn, almost made her feel protected, almost made her feel safe...but just almost.

~~~

She sat in the nurses office, the bleeding stopped but she held the tissue to her nose just in case. Minutes later a fuming Eddie wandered in, his bloody knuckles caused the nurse to gasp and race for an ice pack in the back freezer, down the hall.

She tried to avoid looking at him. Praying if she didn't move a single muscle, he wouldn't see her.

"Are you okay?" The softness in his voice was something she never experienced. She made herself look at him, trying to see if that truly came out of his mouth.

She sat quietly, she still didn't want to talk to him.

"I'm sorry he did that to you." He said, the softness still lingering.

"mad because you couldn't do it first?" Okay, maybe she did want to talk to him. She wanted to snap at him, yell at him, make his life hell the way he did to her.

Eddie flinched at the blow. Her words stung worse than the cuts on his knuckles.

"Mad that I ever did it in the first place. You never deserved any of that." He admitted. He was ashamed of himself. " I grew up with bullies and I became one. And the worst part is I bullied the most beautiful girl on the planet that has a fucking heart of gold. I adored how fragile you were and I destroyed you with my bare hands. And the reason is so stupid and selfish." He ranted out. Wayne would be so disappointed in what Eddie has become.

She felt like screaming at herself, hating the way her heart skipped a beat when he called her beautiful.

"what was the reason?" She asked, her voice quiet as she took in his apologetic gaze.

"I used to like this girl and I thought she liked me too. We dated for months and it turned out to be a prank with her friends. I was so hurt and angry at myself for being so stupid. I promised myself to never waste time on liking a girl in high school ever again. Then you and your bubbly personality walked in and I was scared. I liked you instantly and I needed myself to hate you. I was selfish. I tore you apart just to make it easier for me. It's not something I ever think deserves forgiveness. I know it's so fucked up to take out on you. You were just an innocent girl and I hate what I did to you."

She took in his words. The emotion in his eyes told her he meant all of it. But at the same time, he was right. She didn't deserve a single thing he did to her. She never once hurt him or put him in a position where he needed to protect himself.

"You never even gave me a chance, Eddie. Why couldn't you just ignore me? Seems like us never talking would have been better for both of us." She wished more than anything she never gave him her time. Let his opinions change the way she felt about herself.

"I wanted to, but in some twisted and toxic way, it made me feel special? I could treat you so poorly and you'd still come running up to me. And I know that is such an asshole thing to say. I wish I could take it all back. Treat you the way you always should have been treated. Given you a chance to show me you wouldn't hurt me. But I caused all of this damage and I know it's something I'll never fix. I'm sorry for everything." He apologized

" I appreciate the apology, but I don't forgive you for shit. You are an asshole, incredibly selfish, treated me like shit all because you were scared of a little crush? You're pathetic." Eddie winced at her words. "But, it shows you are flawed and human. Right now, I really don't want to be near you. Maybe in time I'll find it in me to forgive you, just not today."

He respected her honesty above anything.

"I understand. Thank you for letting me explain." He said with a small smile, turning around to walk out into the hallway.

Before he made it out of the doorway she spoke up, "why did you stop him?"

"No one gets to bully my girl but me." He said, a smirk on his face, throwing her a wink before he disappeared out the door.

God she hated him.

~~~

I could not figure out a real "happy" ending but to me, I like this ending so I'm sorry if you read this whole thing and was very disappointed in the ending :(

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingwicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila

[schemmentigfs]

Future Milf, part two.

part one!

paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.

summary: after the incident in the teacher's lounge, you start to avoid melissa who is willing to know what happened and trying to get things back to normal.

warnings: just a little angst but trust me, we have a happy ending!

author notes: This is a little rushed, but I hope you all enjoy this second part 🤍 I also wanted to thank the beautiful people who are sending requests for Mel, they are amazing and i'm already working on them! And don't worry, feel free to send any idea that comes to mind. It will be an honor for me to turn them into reality.

tags: @esposadejoyhuerta @gweninred @moistblobfish

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes!

The truth was that Melissa was completely disoriented, her brain trying to process what had happened in the last seven minutes. You acting like that and apologizing, leaving the room as quickly as possible made her worried as hell.

All she wanted was to comfort you and know what was really happening. There were a lot of doubts in her mind, to be honest. Had she done something? Or said something? The way you couldn't look into her green eyes was so strange..

Everything between you two was great until today, and then it all suddenly fell apart at lunchtime? That made her feel a little paranoid.

“Melissa, are you well? Are you hurt?” Barb asks.

“I don't know,” she said, staring into nothing, worrying her friends, “I just need to check on her.” The redhead gets up and runs to start looking for you.

“MELISSA! WAIT!” the entire Abbott crew screams, but she completely ignores it.

She stops in front of your classroom and notices that the door is locked. The lights are off, but Melissa knows you're in there.

“Sweetheart, please let me in,” she knocks gently, “I am not mad with ya. Don't worry about it, I just want to know how you are.” The older woman adds, almost begging for you to open the door.

Locked inside your classroom, you were sitting on the floor. Curled up hugging your knees, trying to find some comfort while crying. The whole situation was so fucking stupid, of course. But it still left you overwhelmed and on the verge of an anxiety attack.

So lending Melissa the future milf t-shirt made you completely lose your mind? Wow, you really were a stupid person. Stupid. That word stuck in your brain and made you cry even more.

Hearing your quiet sobs made the redhead's heart break into pieces. The thought of her doing something that made you hurt was utterly painful. The truth was that Melissa would blame herself for the rest of her life if she had made you feel bad in any way.

“Hon, c'mon. Let me—” she started.

“Don't. Melissa, please. Just go away, I need to be alone,” you interrupt her, hoping she would understand that you didn't have the strength to say anything else.

Before walking away, she whispers loud enough for you to hear. “If you need anything, you know where to find me. But please, promise me you'll be okay.” The redhead said trying to wipe away the small tears that threatened to fall from her face.

“I'll be fine. Now go.” You growl, unaware that your words have fully gotten to her.

—

It had been a while since Melissa changed her mood so quickly. She had learned to control her emotions, thanks to you, who helped her notice that it was okay to show them from time to time and it wasn't shameful at all. But at that moment everything seemed useless.

Her legs were shaking slightly and she kept tapping her fingers on the desk, while trying to focus on correcting some of the children's homeworks. It was clear that Melissa was almost having a huge panic attack.

Ashely, who was now scrolling through her cell phone boredly after making sure the students were doing their activities calmly and in silence, noticed the sudden change in the redhead and her eyebrows raised in confusion.

“What’s the matter, boss? You seem a little quiet since lunch time. Which is strange ‘cause earlier you were all excited and—”

The older woman rolls her eyes. “Nothing happened. I'm fine,” she responds, clenching her teeth, “everything is ok, kid.”

“Are you sure? I know we’re not that close, but if you need to vent, I’m all ears.” The girl shrugs.

Melissa's eyes widen, her aide was really willing to give her some advice? Normally, Ashley didn't tend to be very serious. When she tried to help, the girl always ended up saying things that were a bit nonsense. But this time, she was here ready to be a shoulder to lean on.

“Y/n..” she started but quickly corrected herself, not quite ready to confide the crush she had on you to anyone else than Barbara. “Today, a strange thing happened between me and a friend that honestly left me completely confused.”

“Oh. Do you have any idea what might have happened?”

Melissa stops for a moment, trying to get her head to work and think of a reason that could explain what had happened between the two of you.

“I-I can't explain it properly...everything was normal between us and when lunch time came...” the teacher stuttered, “she could barely look at me and when I told her to act like a real adult and tell me what was happening, she panicked and ran away.��

“After that you were able to talk to her?”

“Kinda, but she told me to leave her alone.”

Ashley gives her a pitying look, she knew who Melissa was referring to. Anyone who works at Abbott would know. “I'm sorry this happened boss, but I'm sure things will get better between you and her. Just give her a little time.”

Melissa nodded and smiled. “Thanks for the advice, hon.”

“Anytime boss, anytime.”

—

Changing my life with the wave of her hand.

Nobody can deny that there's something there.

There.

Running my hands through her hair.

Both of us thinking how good it can be.

Someone is speaking, but she doesn't know he's there.

The melody of Here, There And Everywhere by The Beatles echoed throughout the kitchen directly from the small radio on the balcony, while Melissa prepared dinner.

This was one of the many songs she always wanted to dedicate to you, the redhead dreamed of dancing with her arms around you, after a busy day at school while this song played. Just the two of you, enjoying each other's company.

Was it quite cliché? Of course it was, even for the one and only Melissa Schemmenti. But to be honest, she didn't care how it sounded.

The older woman was so in love with you that she thought of endless romantic scenarios every day. After what happened today, every one of them seemed distant. But she still had a simple hope within her.

“Watching her eyes, and hoping I'm always there,” she sings passionately, while cutting the tomatoes perfectly, “I want her everywhere, and if she is beside me. I know I need never care, but to love her is to need her everywhere.” Melissa closes her eyes for a moment, thinking about you.

On the way out, she looked for you in the Abbott parking lot but was unsuccessful, she was waiting for a message from you, saying that you had arrived home safely like you always did.

But you didn't send her anything.

A feeling ran through her body. It was as if the redhead was losing the most precious thing in her life. Desperate, Melissa picked up her cellphone that was leaning on the living room table and went to check on you. Screw the advice Ashely gave earlier, she couldn't wait anymore.

Hon, are you feeling better? I hope so. By the way, did you manage to get home safely?

Sorry if I sound desperate, but I need to know if things are ok.

Y/n? Please answer me.

Her heart breaks into pieces when she sees that you just viewed the message and didn't even make the effort to reply back. For fuck’s sake, what had she done that was so serious? Nothing made sense anymore.

Just a few blocks away, you were lying on the couch and drinking an entire bottle of vodka, pretending like you didn't care about not responding to Melissa's messages. It was immature, but it seemed to make sense to you. Since this whole milf situation was a complete disaster, ignoring her seemed right.

Of course, inside you felt like a monster, knowing that the redhead didn't deserve this. But what you could do?

“I’m ready to open another bottle and listen to a two-hour-plus loop of Chamber of Reflection,” you say, making Ava sigh.

The principal had stopped by your house hours ago to check on you and when she saw the miserable state you were in, she decided to stay there for a while. And tried to comfort you (in the most Ava Coleman way possible.)

“Y/N. Come on, you can't act like Schemmenti doesn't exist. If you keep doing that, she'll soon break into your place to find out what's going on,” she comments, “just like an episode of a soap opera where the greatest absurdities happen in an exactly dramatic way.” Ava finished her sentence while painting her nails a shade of red. The act catching your attention.

Red. It reminded you of Melissa.

Yeah, this was being harder than it seemed.

“Shut up, she won't come after me,” you said it like it was just another one of the stupid things Ava used to say.

“Yes, she will. And y’know that very well.”

—

The next day, Melissa sat with her arms crossed at the table she shared with Barb and you. The redhead stared at the small tupperware in front of her, last night she made what she knew was your favorite dish: pancakes. She was anxiously waiting for you to show up in the break room, but that didn't happen.

Keep calm, Schemmenti. She will appear soon. She won't ignore you.

“Dear..” the kindergarten teacher whispers and she snorts, trying to change the subject, disguising how tense she was.

“What’s so interesting out there?” Melissa asks as she notices Janine, Gregory and Jacob looking at each other with strange expressions after spying in the window.

“Nothing.” Jacob is the first to respond and the couple agrees with him, swearing that there was nothing interesting outside.

She laughs humorlessly, the history teacher simply didn't know how to lie.

“C'mon, kiddo. You guys look like you've seen a ghost.” The redhead gets up from the table and approaches the three, squinting to see anything out of the ordinary and when she does. Her breathing hitches.

On the sidewalk, there were you and another teacher, who she recognized as the art teacher. The woman was happily chatting with you and leaning too close to Melissa's chagrin.

Ms. Evans was know for her big crush on you, she was always fighting with the redhead to have your attention. And now that Melissa was being ignored by you, this bitch thought she could have you all to herself? No way.

“YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” she yelled coming down to get some satisfaction from you.

The sound of angry footsteps caught your attention, it was clearly that they belong to who you had been avoiding since yesterday, Melissa.

The wish was for the redhead to pass straight by without noticing your presence there. But instead, she approached and with a certain force grabbed you by the arm, taking you to one of the far corners of the building.

“Melissa! What the fuck?” you said.

“So while I was worried to death there in the staff room because you didn't talked to me since yesterday, you were here talking normally to that idiot!” the older woman's tone was altered, you could clearly hear the jealousy in her voice, “Had fun with your new best friend?”

“She’s not my best friend. We were just talking,” the nonsensical accusation makes you roll your eyes, letting out a mocking chuckle. “Melissa, stop acting like that!” you shout and she loses her temper even more.

“You suddenly act like a bitch and I’m the one to blame? What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/n?” she growls, fire in her green eyes.

“I dunno, a lot of things I suppose,” you retort coldly.

Melissa sighs when she realizes how tough she was. “Look, I don’t want to be an idiot. But please tell me what I did, so I can fix it.”

“We have nothing to fix between us, Schemmenti.”

“What? Are you really going to ignore it and pretend like none of this is happening?” The redhead asked in disbelief.

“Trust me. It’s better this way, for both of us,” you mumble, walking away from her, leaving an upset Melissa behind.

—

After the ‘argument’ on Tuesday, Melissa and you barely crossed paths at Abbott. And when you bumped into each other in the hallway, both grumbled and went back to your own ways.

The redhead and you were fighting the need to put the damned pride aside and throw yourselfs into each other's arms, and finally apologizing. But you were too stubborn for that and it was fucking complicated.

“This is stupid! Can you believe that Y/n started going to that coffee shop that's just a few blocks away from here just so she wouldn't have to face me at lunch? This whole thing is starting to irritate me.” Melissa tells to her best friend one morning.

“I understand that this situation is complicated, but don’t you think that both of you are exaggerating?” Barb asked carefully. Even she couldn't handle this situation anymore, it was disappointing to have to see you and Melissa acting like two children.

Ava who was listening to the conversation cautiously, decided to interrupt. “Schemmenti, haven’t you put the pieces together yet? Unbelievable.” She said as if it was something of small importance, making the redhead's eyebrows raise in confusion.

“Huh?”

“It’s so simple, I thought you already figured it all out,” the principal continues in a mysterious tone, making Melissa's head spin, “If it weren’t for this bullshit, you and Y/n would already be like two rabbits jumping on top of each other, if you know what I mean.”

The last comment makes Barb choke on her tea. “Ava, could you not be so specific about this? We’re in a school!” she scolds her.

“Whatever! It’s past time for her to know that Y/n likes her too. Even Janine and Gregory acted better than that!”

Everything around Melissa seemed to have gone silent. So was it true, the feelings were also reciprocal. A lot of questions surrounded her mind, why didn't you say anything? Why did you decide to pretend you weren't in love with her? Were you afraid of not being reciprocated?

“Why is she avoiding me then?” the redhead asks out loud, “that’s making me lose my mind. I just miss her.”

“Because of the t-shirt she lend ya. Mainly ‘cause of the last word printed on it.” That's all Ava says at that moment.

“A milf?” Melissa questions, still confused trying to think of putting the pieces together. “What does that mean? Is it something bad?”

“I was going to suggest you to google the meaning, but since you look like you're about to have a heart attack, I will tell ya,” she laughs and the redhead rolls her eyes, showing Ava her middle finger, “but don't be scared, it's a good thing, actually.”

“Alright..” the green-eyed woman whispers, still afraid of the answer, “so what does this whole milf thing means?”

“Mother I'd Like To Fuck. It also means that an older woman is super attractive.”

Melissa was left open-mouthed, her eyes blinking trying to process the explanation. So that was the damn meaning, well, she had to admit that was hot. “Wait... so Y/n..” she starts but there is a pause.

“Is in love with you and was scared when she saw ya wearing that t-shirt looking extremely hot, and preferred to stay away in case you found out what she felt.” Ava reveals it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, “What are you waiting for? Go find your girl, Schemmenti.”

—

Time passed slowly to Melissa's disgust and despair, making the poor woman sigh feeling defeated. As each second passed, she glanced quickly at the clock on her classroom wall, waiting for the afternoon to end.

After her students left, and the school day was finally over. She drove to your house — without caring about traffic regulations and rules — nothing else really mattered, she just needed to see you.

Sitting on the floor, while assembling a Lego set that simulated a beautiful bouquet of flowers — a gift you received from Janine and Gregory days ago, a lovely attempt by the couple to cheer you up — the sound of the doorbell ringing caught your attention. Making you stop your movements.

You furrowed your eyebrow in confusion, who could it be? Most of your friends were at different appointments at that time. So it certainly wasn't one of them.

“I'm almost coming! I just hope you’re not a stupid lunatic or some other ,” you grumbled, standing up as the sounds of the doorbell seemed more desperate with each passing second.

You opened the door and found Melissa standing there with her arms crossed, shivering slightly from the storm. “Hon, it’s so good to see you again.” She murmurs with a weak smile. Without caring if her voice sounds too desperate.

“Mel, what are you doing here? You might catch a damn cold like that.” You scolded her, pulling her into the house and locking the door again.

“I don’t care about that, I needed to see you. Actually we have to talk.” She responds taking off the black leather jacket that covered her body and hanging it where you kept your coats.

“We have to?” There is a little hesitation in the tone of your voice, all that courage and confidence have disappeared from your body. Insecurity taking over.

“Yeah, hon. We do.” She replied, noticing your nervousness, Melissa tries to comfort you, placing her hand on your shoulder and stroking it lovingly, showing that everything was fine. You smile for the first time in days in the presence of your beloved redhead.

She takes you to the small white sofa that was in the middle of the living room. “I know you were avoiding me because of that shirt. And I know you're in love with me.”

“What? Fuck, how did you figure all this out?” you whisper in panic, covering your face with your hands. Feeling vulnerable at the mercy of the red-haired figure sitting next to you.

A silence fell in the room, making you feel even more embarrassed.

“Ava told me those things earlier today. Hon, why didn't you tell me anything? That would have made everything so much easier.”

“What do you mean by making things easier? I don't understand.”

“I'm love with you too, idiot. I just didn't say before ‘cause I was insecure as fuck. But now, I know exactly what I want: you. No one else, just you.” She confessed with a smile on her face.

Automatically your body falls even more on the couch and you feel slightly dizzy. Closing your eyes slowly, trying to regain consciousness. “Sorry, I'm a bit nervous,” you respond. “It's too much to process. Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t be nervous, it’s me. Just me,” Melissa pulls you into her lap sighing as she smells your lavender scent again. “I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch the last few days. It was not necessary.”

“It was never your fault, I was the real bitch. You didn’t deserve to go through this just because of an irresponsible attitude of mine,” you say, resting your foreheads together.

“I think it's fair to say that we overreacted a bit,” the older woman smiles with her eyes closed. Feeling a slight courage run through her body, she asks you something. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” Melissa asks biting her lip and slowly approaching, “I wanna do this since New Year's Eve.”

“Yes, please, Mel.” You beg wrapping your arms around her neck.

The moment her lips touched yours, it felt like you were in heaven. Melissa's lips were soft against yours. The kiss was calm and peaceful, both wanting to show all the love you felt for each other.

“You know, being considered a milf is an honor for me.” Melissa scoffs with a mischievous smile as you pull away from the kiss.

“Shut up.” You chuckle, cupping her cheeks.

“Make me,” the redhead teases, “please.”

[fluentmoviequoter]

Take all the time you need 💕

My idea: Deacon got a girlfriend (let’s pretend Annie isn’t there) and she is a teacher at a high school.

One today there is a shooting going down at her school and Deacon and the team don’t know if she is there or not and can’t reach her. Turns out the shooter is in her class and Deacon has somehow get her save.

I hope it makes somehow sense 😅 English isn’t my native language -🥰

Thank you for being patient and for requesting!! This makes perfect sense; no worries. I love pretending Annie doesn't exist lol. I changed this a teeny tiny bit and let the reader do a little bit of saving before Deacon saves her. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍

Warnings: canon-typical action/danger/violence, school shooting (loosely based on 2x11), angst, fluff.

Word Count: 2.3k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

Worried for You

When Deacon Kay imagined his future, he did not picture being 30 David this far into his career, nor did he dream that he would have a girlfriend who spends her days teaching high school students. Since he met you, his life has been brighter. You make each other happy. The last year and a half of dating has been filled with late-night phone calls, weekly date nights, and more joy than you thought possible.

“Deac!” you call, jumping into his arms when he turns to greet you.

“Hey, you,” he replies, hugging you tightly. “Our table is ready if you are.”

You nod, beaming at him as you slip your hand into his. He leads you to the table, pulling your chair out before sitting across from you.

“How was your day?” you ask, ignoring the menu after all the date nights you’ve had here.

“It was pretty good, mostly training since it was quiet for once. But I’m more interested in you and your day,” Deacon responds.

“Nothing special, just teaching teenagers. Again. Tell me a story?”

Deacon sighs as you bat your eyelashes at him but begins a story anyway. “Hondo and I were paired up for a breach a few years ago, but the way the house was laid out, we weren’t going to be able to see each other for long. We didn’t know how many people were in there, so we made an inconspicuous code word to alert the other if something went wrong. Well, it should have been inconspicuous, but Hondo’s first choice was ‘mango.’ Great if you’re in a store or something, not so great in a barricaded safe house.”

You laugh with Deacon, reaching across the table to hold his hand as you ask, “Should we have a code word? We could use it when you’d rather spend time with me than Hondo.”

“So, daily?”

“Seriously, David. Can we?”

“Of course. What were you thinking?”

“It has to be something that fits into any conversation, so… tree?”

“Not bad. What if I need to know something about a tree though?”

“Like what?”

Deacon’s eyes stay on yours as he concedes, “Good point. Tree it is.”

“Do you- do you have quiet days often?”

“Depends. Some weeks are quiet, and sometimes you don’t have a quiet day for months.”

“I just- you know I worry about you, so I like hearing about quiet days.”

“Hey,” Deacon says, dipping his head to catch your eyes. “I know worrying is inevitable, and I can’t imagine what it takes to be in a relationship with me and what I do, but I promise that I will always fight to come back to you. I have a good team and we watch each other’s backs.”

You nod, but Deacon looks like he wants more.

“I know you’ll do everything you can to come back to me. And that helps a lot. Thank you, Deacon.” The moment is more serious than most of your date nights, so you add, “At least you don’t have to worry about me. I just have to deal with teenage hormones and ears that don’t work or brains that don’t comprehend.”

“That sounds much worse than what I face every day,” Deacon replies dramatically.

✯✯✯✯✯

Your students know when you’ve been on a date, you’re always in a great mood the next morning. You habitually check your phone throughout the day but smile more after a date.

“Are you ever going to tell us who the lucky guy is?” one of your students pries.

“Are you ever going to meet the rubric requirements on an assignment?” you reply sarcastically.

“Ooh,” several of the students exclaim.

“Alright, guys, let’s get started,” you begin, pausing when your phone chimes.

“You said no ringers in class,” someone laments.

You snatch your phone up at Deacon’s text tone, holding your breath while you read it. Everything is fine; he just texted about your next date night. You breathe out and smile, typing a quick reply before you turn to the board.

✯✯✯✯✯

During your third class, a distant scream is audible through the closed door. You glance at the window, unamused with and immune to teenagers and their obnoxious actions. When you hear a gunshot, your demeanor switches instantly.

“Quiet,” you snap at a girl who looks ready to scream.

Several more shots echo, so you can’t tell where they’re coming from.

“Everyone in the supply closet, take your bags with you,” you demand quietly. “It will be tight but stay down and stay quiet.”

Someone whimpers your name, and you crouch in the open doorway.

“Everything is going to be fine,” you promise before closing the door.

You slide a desk over, lining it up in front of the door in a way you hope looks like it is supposed to be there. Crouching, you walk back towards your desk, trying to avoid the windows and the glass pane in the door. The doorknob jiggles, and you rush to your desk, grabbing your phone as you fall into your chair.

“Drop the phone!” the shooter yells as he enters, leveling his gun on you.

Setting the phone down, you lock it to hide the half-typed text to Deacon. That may be the last thing he hears from you, so you’re glad you started by telling him you love him. You raise your hands and look at the crazed gunman before you.

“Just stay calm okay, this doesn’t have to be like this,” you say gently.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Let’s roll, 20 David!” Hicks yells as he enters the common area. “School shooting going down and we have to get in there now.”

“Confirmed casualties?” Hondo asks.

“Do we know who the shooter is?” Deacon adds.

Hicks takes a deep breath and turns toward the team as he tells them the name of the school. “Casualties unknown and no confirmed ID, but two possibilities. I’m sorry, guys, but you’re the best option here.”

“Let’s do this,” Hondo says, leading the team to Black Betty.

Luca pulls out as soon as everyone is in. Hondo and Deacon remove their phones to check for messages from you.

“Anything?” Hondo asks, looking up from his empty phone.

Deacon shakes his head before raising his phone to his ear. His leg bounces until he lowers his hand and shakes his head at Hondo again.

“She has me on emergency bypass, if she could answer, she would have,” he explains. “And her location sharing isn’t loading.”

“Then let’s go get her and everyone else out safe,” Luca announces, taking a sharp turn.

✯✯✯✯✯

You flinch as Deacon’s ringtone dies out, the sound of glass crunching under a boot drowning it out.

“Who is supposed to be in here with you?” the shooter demands.

“No one. It’s my grading period,” you explain, trying to remain calm. “That’s why my ringer is on, because I don’t have students until after the next bell.”

The shooter nods, the gun bouncing erratically in his grip.

“Look, we can all walk away from this, but not until you stop,” you add.

The gun straightens, and you force your eyes to stay open.

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon taps Hondo’s shoulder after he feels Street’s hand on his shoulder. They enter through the gym, giving students quiet directions to safety.

“Do you know where the shooter is?” Hondo asks quietly.

“He went that way,” a young girl answers, pointing as she runs.

“Let’s split off. Luca, Tan, go east. Street, Chris, west. Deac, we’re going for the shooter,” Hondo directs.

Deacon falls into step beside him, moving slowly and clearing classrooms as they go.

“Her room is down here, right?” Hondo whispers.

Deacon nods and then slows when they hear a gunshot. Moving faster, they reach the end of the hall: your class on the right and a large glass wall on the left.

“It doesn’t end well, it’s too late!” a man’s voice yells in your classroom.

Deacon’s eyes widen as he watches the door, praying you’re not in there, that you're somewhere safe.

“It’s not,” your voice replies calmly.

Deacon sighs, a minuscule amount of tension escaping when he hears your voice. That’s a good sign for now. Hondo slides his back against the wall, peeking into the glass on the window. He lowers quickly and looks at Deacon.

“His back is to us, and he has a gun on her, we have to think this through, Deac,” he says.

“Of course. We can’t storm in, he’s a loose cannon,” Deacon agrees.

They hear the gunshot before the door rattles, and Deacon lurches forward, reaching for the doorknob as his other hand moves toward the trigger. Hondo’s arm wraps around his shoulders, pulling him backward.

“Deac, man, calm down,” Hondo grunts, struggling against Deacon. “Charging in won’t help her any.”

“And if it’s too late?” Deacon whispers harshly, relaxing enough to pull his arms from Hondo’s grip.

“Why did you do that?” you ask inside.

Hondo pats Deacon’s back, creeping back to the door. They listen to footsteps as someone, presumably the shooter, paces in the classroom. Your voice is low as you try to calm him down. Deacon has never loved you more, but he’s never been this scared before. He has less than a split second if something goes wrong, and that’s not enough time to save anyone.

“Of course,” you answer. “See if you can find the tree.”

Deacon nods at Hondo and reaches for the doorknob.

✯✯✯✯✯

“What is that?” the shooter whispers, pointing to a display on your bulletin board.

“It’s a collection of the best projects this semester. Do you think yours may be up there?” you ask quietly.

“Can I look?”

“Of course. See if you can find the tree.”

You saw the corner of the SWAT helmet in the window before, and you hope Deacon is out there. Using the code word was pointless if he isn’t, but maybe the shooter will be distracted either way. The doorknob twists and you drop to your knees behind your desk before the door opens forcefully, banging against the wall behind it.

“LAPD SWAT, drop your weapon!” Hondo yells.

“You don’t want to kill anyone, including yourself, we know that. So drop the gun and we can get you help,” Deacon adds.

You close your eyes as Deacon talks, trying to imagine that you’re alone in the room and neither of you is in danger.

“Okay, okay,” the shooter repeats.

You hear something hit the floor, and then Hondo says something into his radio as he steps toward the shooter. Deacon’s arms wrap around you, but you keep your eyes closed as you turn in his arms, pressing your face into the plate protecting his chest. His hand rubs your back as the other cradles your head against him.

“You’re okay, it’s okay, we’re all safe, baby,” he whispers into your hair, his helmet discarded.

“There’s kids in the closet,” you say against him, tightening your arms around his waist.

His head lifts from beside yours as he tells Street to check the closet. You hear their muted gasps and stifled screams before they realize who’s opening the door.

“Are you okay?” Deacon asks.

You lean back just enough to look up at him. Nodding, you keep your arms around him as you look into his eyes.

“And you said I didn’t need to worry about you,” he says playfully, pushing your hair out of your face.

“Now you know how I feel all the time,” you reply.

He helps you to your feet, keeping a hand on you. Your students are out of the closet, and when one sees you, they all look up.

“You’re dating a narc?” someone asks.

“SWAT, actually,” Deacon replies, smiling easily. “Everyone alright?” He gets mixed nods and muttered yeses before he adds, “EMTs are outside to give you a quick check before you go home to your parents.”

The same student who wanted to know who texts you throughout the day pauses by your side to whisper, “He’s cute. Good job.”

You roll your eyes and hug her quickly before tucking yourself into Deacon's side.

“Nice work with the code word,” Hondo says, moving to stand beside Deacon. “You might’ve saved some lives today.”

“That was all Deacon,” you reply.

“No, no, I was going to charge in here and get everyone killed,” he admits. “I was worried and Hondo made me wait. How’d you get him to turn his back?”

“He wanted to see the display,” you explain, pointing to it. “Figured I could at least kill some time telling him to look for something that wasn’t there.”

 “How’d you know we were out there?”

“I didn’t know who was out there, but I saw the edge of a helmet in the window.”

“Oh, that was me. Which makes me the savior, no?” Hondo teases.

“I think she’s still the savior,” Deacon replies, tipping his head toward you.

“But you saved me, so what’s that make you?” you reply.

Deacon smiles as he loops his arm around you again.

“Get out of here,” Hondo grumbles.

✯✯✯✯✯

You spend the evening wrapped in Deacon’s arms. And his shirt that you stole.

“It’s okay to not be okay after something like that,” Deacon whispers, holding you against his chest as a forgotten movie plays in the background.

“I’ll be okay,” you promise. “All I could think about was you. I was texting you when he came in, and then you called right before he crushed my phone. Then you saved me.”

“What did your text say?”

“Not much. All I got was ‘I love you. There’s’ before the door opened and I stopped,” you answer, tracing shapes on Deacon’s chest.

“You started with I love you,” Deacon muses, shaking his head. “I love you so much.”

“I love you. Thanks for saving me.”

“Anytime.”

You lay down on his chest and kiss his jaw, glad to be alive, home with Deacon, and in his arms.

“That wasn’t an invitation to get into trouble on a regular basis,” Deacon adds. “Just for the record.”

Deacon feels you laugh against him, your chest shaking against him as another kiss lands on his jaw. He doesn’t know how you deal with the uncertainty and the worry every day, but he knows he would do it a million times over for you.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my lil sis that she isn't that important even when her friend group is standing with us?

[😬💣🫐]

This is a long story background of the story / main focus(???)

Soo me[16F] am I highschooler and I have this extra activity that I do after school called landservice.( Basically we're a group of a bunch of people from the same school that shows to 4 loves by working together. The 4 loves are: love for your fellow people, love for your beliefs, love for labour amd love for nature)

It's my sister's[10F] first year of doing landservice, while I have been doing it for over 7 years. She was really sceptical over whether she wanted to do it but my mother insisted she try just as she did with me 7 years ago.

Soo I just wanna say that her middel school's landservice was soo crappy I had to endure it for 4 years. Soo last year at our once a year meeting to get ideas of what to do next year, we decided we would go help the middle school with their landservice.

We have done it once and yesterday(22/02) me and 4 others were chosen to help the kids make small bunnies out of wool( i was the oldest there rest were 13-15). Now for us highschool kids it's easy peasy but let me tell you middleschoolers don't have a single thought in their brain.

We were task to help the kids when they struggled and were divided in different groups. I got stuck alone with the grade 4 who were the most kids there(there was like 30 grades 4s there mixed language) and since their the youngest of the bunch they struggled the most.

I helped there and then there then suddenly there's like five or four kids surrounding me with questions.( just to say I am very shy with people my age but I absolutely love working with kids.)

Soo here's where the story gets interesting!

My sister and her group didn't really understand the task of what to do and I had to go and help them frequently (they still didn't get it right though)

She would get me to help her group while I'm busy with other kids. Then at one point she just started crying because hers wasn't working out and her friends tried to get me to go help her. But at that moment I was help 7 English kids[my English is the best in our group of five soo I also had to help them alot more] and explaining how to do it with the limited time we had. And her friends just kept bothering us till I said to go let some one else help her.

After I help the bunch I went to try to find my sister, just to find out she refused to get help from anyone else in our group even the teachers. Now that really pissed me off.

I went to talk to her and said that I wasn't there to be her babysitter or mother I was here to help ALL OF THE KIDS THERE not just her. I wasn't going to take this bullcrap from her she is old enough to do it alone or be able to ask anyone else for help.

So that's where I landed in front of my sisters friend group telling her she isn't that important amd she was bloody mad. Soo were he friends calling me a bully amd that I was to mean.

Also told our mum about this later and she says she understand but that was an asshole move.

And after alot of thought I see where I could be the asshole.

Soo aita???

What are these acronyms?

[tyliiia]

my first time writing here, but I thought I could share my little gojo brain rot since I haven't moved on from the leaks ╥_╥ also english is not my first language so if there are any spelling mistakes or anything, I am sorry.

(inspired by ariana's 'goodnight n go'; also don't know if anyone already had this idea but I had to write this out for the sake of my mental health lmao)

content: gn! reader, fluff teeth rotting fluff, mentions of alcohol, suggestive talk (mentions of gojo being horny for the reader), pet names, intentional lowercase

"tell me why you gotta look at me that way you know what it does to me so baby, what you tryna say?”

it's usual for everyone to see gojo as someone with no sense of private space. an idiot that invades your space and always flirts with people unashamedly.

one day, when you called him out for it, he simply shrugged and said 'don't know what ur talking about luv, I jus' work here', smirked, and winked,

an absolute idiot.

of course, this also applies to the fact that...

your private space is his private space, and that's it.

oh, you wanted to take a nap while he's around? you better forget it. the moment he sees you he's talking your ears off about how you should let him take you to the ice cream shop down the street, or the last mission he went on, how ugly the curse he fought with was. the daily gossip on the train. whatever topic he finds out at the top of his head.

you think it's just his personality, he's outgoing and likes to talk, right? nothing wrong with that. so you listen to him, lightly sipping on your coffee and eating your snack (the one he conveniently placed on top of your lunch bag when you weren't looking).

to gojo, the truth is that the way you look at him when you're listening makes him feel like he's floating.

his heart flutters and he thinks maybe it's from the amount of sugar he consumed before the day even started, but when your lips slightly curve up and your eyelashes slightly flutter as you laugh at something he just said, your lips part as you let the joyous sound of your laugh come out of your throat and he thinks maybe you are a divine creature. his eyes wander to the way your bottom lip moves with each word that rolls out your lips and he imagines the way it would feel to touch or kiss, maybe he could even tug on your lips with his teeth-

he mentally slaps himself and slightly shakes his head, grateful for the blindfold covering his eyes.

"lately, all I want is you on top of me you know where your hands should be so baby, won't you come show me?”

walking down the stairs of the training area at jujutsu high, gojo spots you training the second years. your hands expertly fix the wooden katana in yuta's hands as you give him a sweet smile and let him repeat the move you just taught him.

you take some steps back, your back facing gojo as he leans against the stone wall and slightly lifts his blindfold, mentally telling himself that he just wanted to see everything (and definitely not because he was checking you out).

you're wearing your training attire, much like the students are, a normal thing to do since you are... training. but for some reason, gojo finds himself imagining how his hand would just casually slide into the back pocket of your pants, just an excuse to feel your ass, because right now as you bend and twist while helping your students, his eyes fixate on the way it just looks so— plump. and maybe he’s just a bit possessive when other people look at you, so his hands on your back pocket? would be just to show everybody you're his.

and he thinks you're reading his mind when you walk over to maki and you sit on your haunches to help the girl, an innocent smile on your face, as you make small talk with her, carefully helping her stretch so she doesn't hurt herself.

gojo thinks it's sweet, how you share the same love for the students as he does, and he knows he should see this as an adorable teacher and student moment, but he can't help imagining himself under you, your legs on each side of his hips as you straddle his lap, maybe you would smile like that at him or maybe you would grind your hips? he wonders.

do you still look as sweet as you do right now? or do you look different? would you let him touch you all over? would you touch him all over? he is 100% sure your hands are angel-soft. he feels like he would do anything just to see that and feel it.

'wtf is wrong with me', he thinks as you lift yourself up and give a thumbs up in inumaki's and panda's direction.

he cusses out silently and his mind blasts off like a fire alarm. a shaky exhale leaves his lips and he leans forward, removing his back from the wall and walking back inside the school.

he thinks he's a creep for thinking this about a friend and coworker.

"i got you, i got you dreamin' you close your eyes and you're screamin’ play with your mind for no reason i know you love how I tease it you know that I'm playin', so don't be mistaken you already know what I'm thinkin', boy”

the strongest sorcerer thinks he might go crazy.

he thought the intrusive thoughts of you would eventually disappear, but he was wrong.

he thinks he has never been so tormented by the thought of another human being. from nasty thoughts to just the idea of holding your hand, he thinks he might go clinically insane if he doesn't have you.

he knows it's wrong but he can't help it when he pictures your sweet smile and your pretty body in his mind he finds himself indulging in imagination. his hips bucking up and his hands sliding down his torso, until he’s grabbing at his crotch and trying to get some friction.

"gojo-san?" your sweet voice is heard from the other side of the door and he slightly jumps, startled. you can hear a small groan coming from gojo inside the teacher's room and you frown. 'Is he mad at me?'

the answer is no, but you don't know that.

he rubs his eyes and leans back in the chair, legs spreading as he tries to comfortably place his almost growing erection as hidden as possible, how embarrassing it would be to try to explain that.

"come in sweets," he says in a heavily sweet voice, masking the confusing thoughts he had seconds ago. his mood lifts as he sees your sweet smile as your head peaks through the door before you enter the room.

he watches as you place your bag on the table and walk over to the couch next to him. his legs unconsciously spread wider and you notice that, a small blush creeping up your cheeks and you hope he doesn't notice.

he does.

and oh it makes him spiral. he wants to pinch your cheeks and kiss you sweetly and then ruin you until you are begging him to stop

and it's so wrong, but he can't help it.

you adjust the fabric of your uniform on your legs and he watches as your thighs grow in size when you are sat down, his adam apple bobs up and down as he swallows.

you smile at him, unaware of the man's thoughts. he smiles back and leans forward, his elbows on his legs as he looks at you, blue, covered irises staring at you sweetly.

"want something from me?" a 'hmm' escapes his throat as he looks at you waiting for you to talk.

to his surprise, you shake your head.

"just wanted to keep you company for a bit i guess" the sound of your giggle echoes in his ears and he thinks he might want to hear it every time he wakes up, throughout the day, before he falls asleep and in his dreams.

he smiles and shakes his head as well.

"next time you wanna be with me just say" he throws an empty wrap of candy at you. you catch it and fake an angry face, fighting the smile creeping on your lips.

"that's crazy, what if i do wanna be with you huh?"

eyes widened under the mask, gojo knows you are talking about being with him for company. but he can’t deny the thought that you might be throwing hints at him. his heart hammers in his chest and he lets out a shaky breath in disguise of a dramatic sigh.

"i know i'm irresistible but no need to be needy y/n" he leans his body back, legs spread again as he stares at you. using his teasing as a mask to the way he craves you so much.

"oh i am extreeeeeemely needy" you drag your words, teasing him back, he feels the blood rush to his lower body even more, you look so good when you squint your eyes at him. like you are challenging him. It makes his blood rush and his mind run miles.

he chuckles and you watch as he looks down at the floor and licks his lips, you instantly giggle and look away too. a small feeling in the pit of your stomach as you feel the tension rising.

you wish you had the courage to make a move. it's not like you are extremely shy, but it would be quite embarrassing if you got your coworker's intentions all wrong... wouldn't it?

"oh, why'd you have to be so cute? it's impossible to ignore you, why must you make me laugh so much? it's bad enough we get along so well”

satoru feels how sweaty the palms of his hands are.

he thinks the last time he felt like this was when suguru was still alive, and honestly he never thought it would happen again…

but here he is, in front of the door of your apartment complex, waiting for you to come down, so he can take you to that ice cream shop he talked about so much.

he fidgets with the little keychain yuuji, nobara and megumi had given to him, patiently waiting for you to come downstairs, but feeling his heart hammer so hard he felt like he might throw up.

he thinks of what to say, how to act, things he can and can't do so you won't find him a creep or weird and lord it makes him feel like a teenager all over again.

his mind is so distracted by all of his thoughts he doesn't even see you appear in front of him. you wave your hand in front of his face and he finally snaps out.

gojo feels like his world just turned slow motion, you're smiling at him, your hair is done differently than usual and your outfit is so cute but so hot at the same time and he feels nervous.

he completely forgot what he had planned to do as soon as he saw you.

"what? do i look bad?" you chuckle, looking down at your clothes as you try to check why he is looking at you so much.

he snaps out of his trance and smiles.

"not at all, you look amazing"

you shake your head amused, turning to the side slightly and moving your head in the direction you two were supposed to walk to.

"so do you satoru...let's go?"

he feels his heart in his throat as you call him by his first name. it's like you were always meant to say it... or maybe he's just hopelessly falling for you.

the walk is pleasant, there's small chatter here and there, you talk about your week, mention how yuta is improving and maki manages to surprise you more and more every day. you also mention how inumaki manages to deal with the missions on his own so flawlessly it makes you feel so proud and how panda is getting stronger and stronger.

he watches you with a fond smile on his face, taking the queue to also mention yuuji, nobara and megumi, watching as your eyes slightly sparkle at the mention of their skills improving. he thinks you're beautiful, adorable, the cutest as you watch him talks about everything and nothing at the same time.

the conversation flows and when you both notice it, you're standing at the ice cream shop.

"'we're here" he says, hand softly resting on the small of your back as he lets you inside first "they have a new flavour i've been dying to try it"

you find it adorable how excited he is to try sweets, your own smile growing.

the date goes smoothly. you try each other's ice creams (his being extremely sweet, to which you pulled a face and he wheezed) talked for hours, and laughed like two crazy fools (in love).

when it's time to leave, you realize how bad the butterflies in your stomach are, how he makes you laugh so effortlessly, and how his company is so enjoyable despite what others normally say about him.

you find yourself smiling and sighing as you walk back home, a hop on your step as you think when the next time might be.

asking yourself, 'why the fuck does he have to be so cute?'

"One of these days You'll miss your train and come stay with me We'll have drinks and talk about things And any excuse to stay awake with you”

the plan was simple.

satoru would come over for dinner at your house, have some drinks, talk for a while, enjoy each other's company, and done.

what you wouldn't expect is that you two would end up talking for so long that satoru would miss his last train back home.

the clock marked 1 a.m., satoru sitting on your couch after you decided he should stay over for the night, a glass of bubbly as you two talked. soon enough, you realized the man sitting next to you was definitely not good at holding his alcohol.

"you know you could have told me you don't normally drink alcohol satoru-" you say between laughs as he joins you, leaning his head on the couch.

"and let you drink by yourself? that wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me would it?" his words are slightly slurred as he lets out a loud laugh.

you shake your head at his antics and smack his arm.

"still! now you're barely awake" hand on your chest as you tried to calm your breathing from laughing.

"hell nah! i'm super awake look at me!" he stands up, making a grand pose to prove his "sobriety" but failing miserably as his legs give out, falling back onto the couch with a 'huff', his face pressing against the cushions as he giggles.

"ok maybe i'm a little tipsy"

you wheeze and fall back onto the couch as well, a fit of giggles echoing through the walls of your apartment.

as your laughter dies down, your gazes fall on each other, silly smiles on your faces as you come down from the joyous moment.

"i should've accepted your ice cream date sooner" you chuckle and confess, watching as his blue eyes widen and he points a finger your way.

"AH! see, told ya you would end up liking my company"

you smile "i always like your company 'toru... just never thought it would be a good idea"

he feels his heart flutter at the nickname but dismisses it. "why wouldn't it be a good idea?" he props himself up on his elbows, head in his hands as he waits for you to talk.

"because...." you inhale as you look at him, blue irises staring at you with adoration, his lips slightly parted from the way his hands squish his cheeks in the position he is, his white hair messy from all the laughing and trashing around in your couch. you find yourself losing your breath over the sigh of a man in front of you. he's so beautiful "... to be honest i'm not really sure..."

you look away from him, fidgeting with your fingers, "maybe i was scared of what others would say" you bite your bottom lip in an attempt to feel less nervous.

"what do you think they would say?" he watching your every move, carefully listening to you.

"i don't know, that you're hanging around me?" you chuckle awkwardly, feeling yourself get embarrassed at how you are so effortlessly opening up to the man in front of you "that maybe i'm not your level to be so close to you"

Satoru's face scrunches and he thinks you just said the most stupid thing in the world, "what the hell? since when do you need to be on my level for me to like you?"

you chuckle "i don't, but that's what i thought" satoru lifts himself and scootches closer to you on the couch, his knees brushing yours as he grabs your hands, the liquid courage speaking for him (not like he needs liquid courage but whatever) "i fucking like you, i don't need you to be super special for me to like you" he's slurring on his words, alcohol filling his system as he stares at you in the eyes.

your eyes slightly widen and your lips slightly part as you realize this might be a confession. you brush it off, mentally telling yourself he's just drunk.

you softly rest your hand on his head, caressing his hair. the white-haired man closes his eyes, and you're sure you can hear a slight purr. you smile fondly. "you're drunk 'toru, let's get you to sleep." you help him walk to your bed and he falls asleep almost instantly, you finish your night by sleeping on the couch and letting him rest.

"And you'd sleep here, and I'd sleep there But then the heating may be down again (At my convenience) We'd be good, we'd be great together”

you change into your pajamas, going through your night rotine like you always do.

you feel a chill creep up your spine as you walk into the living room to finally get some rest.

"dammit, it's cold" you hug your arms for comfort, walking to the thermostat in your living room to turn the house heating on. you realize you forgot to call the company to fix your heating. groaning you walk back to the couch, "just what i needed in a cold night" you plop down and cover yourself in a thick blanket.

a few hours pass and sleep doesn't come easily to you. you twist and turn in your couch as you try to warm yourself.

"you can't sleep?" a drowsy voice is heard and you slightly jump and look at the living room door. standing there is satoru, in his black shirt and boxers, he rubs at his eyes and yawns.

"no, i'm feeling a little bit cold and my thermostat isn't working", he hums and nods shortly, walking over to you and crouching down. "me too, woke up and realized how cold i was"

his hands hook under your knees and back as he picks you up. "satoru! what are you doing??" he grins, walking to your room and laying you softly on the bed "getting my personal bag of warmth" he lays in bed again, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush against his chest. you feel the warmth of his body passing to yours and you realize he isn't cold at all.

"you weren't cold were you?"

you hear his breathy chuckle tickling the top of your head and his lips on your forehead.

"nah, i just wanted you next to me"

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #90: Hogwarts Legacy, but make it time travel

One of my absolute favorite WIPs at the moment is A Different Legacy by Finexs, in which a female!Harry Potter travels through time and becomes the MC of Hogwarts Legacy. It's an absolutely brilliant fic for a variety of reasons, the most relevant being that it tickled my own brain and brought back a fic idea I had when I first played the game a year ago...

Or: What if the Hogwarts Legacy MC traveled through time to become the competent adult Harry so desperately needs?

Bear with me:

There is absolutely no reason why the governments of the UK and the wizarding UK should be contiguous - or really any reason for there to be a wizarding UK at all. The Treaty of Union came into effect in 1707, whereas the Statue of Secrecy became law in 1692. And since muggle and wizard seemed to have gone their own way long before this... why not take it to the logical conclusion?

For the sake of this AU: Wizarding Ireland has always been its own place, ruled by Irish Wizards, separate from anything going on in Great Britain. Wizarding England is largely made up of a combination of the old Anglo-Saxon states and the Danelaw, while wizarding Cornwall, Wales, Scotland, and Strathclyde all do their own thing. Most import to this fic: the Orkney Islands still belong to the unified wizarding kingdom of Denmark, Norway, and Sweden.

Wizarding Orkney, as part of wizarding Denmark, contains the Orkney and Shetland Islands. The culture reflects their stronger Norse background, and Norn is still the mother tongue - though Scots and English are common second or third languages.

These two archipelagos are ruled by a wizarding earldom, the House of Magnusson, from their seat at Stonybreck Castle on Fair Isle. Prior to her death in 1887, the countess was Eydis Magnusson. When she died the earldom fell to her 12-year-old daughter, Freya - though her muggleborn father, Joseph Evans, does a lot of the heavy lifting at first.

Just imagine it:

Freya Magnusson is a witch who was trained by tutors her entire life. In the spring of 1890 she begins showing signs of a rare magical ability that requires further training, the only teacher of which is a professor at Hogwarts who won't be tempted away for love or money. And so, with great reluctance, Freya begins attending Hogwarts in the fall of 1890 as a Fifth Year.

She proves to be a consummate Ravenclaw with some decidedly Slytherin tendencies whose greatest interests are DADA and Ancient Runes, and if she didn't have an earldom to run the Danish version of Unspeakables would be snapping her up in a heartbeat.

Events of Hogwarts Legacy follow canon. Freya kills Victor Rookwood, defeats Ranrok, and contains the ancient magic.

More importantly for the purposes of this fic, after the skirmish at the Feldcroft catacomb, Freya convinces Anne and Ominis not to turn in Sebastian for killing his uncle... and convinces him to stay with her at Stonybreck Castle during the summer of 1891, to get away from all the reminders and start afresh. This kicks the slow burn they'd been dealing with since almost the moment they met into full gear, and by the end of the summer they're dating.

Sixth and Seventh Year pass without nearly as much excitement. Freya and Sebastian graduate in May 1892. They marry the following year and by late 1894 have a daughter, Ingrid.

Fast forward to the summer of 1898.

By this point, Sebastian has made a name for himself on the professional dueling circuit, winning the European Championships 3 years in a row.

Freya, meanwhile, throws herself into running her earldom, but still finds time to research runes and Ancient Magic. Though she's keen to recreate the mirror-portals she came across in her adventures, Freya takes all the precautions she can... including sending her 3-year-old daughter out of the castle with her father whenever she's testing something particularly dangerous.

...but something still goes wrong, and the magic seems to be pulled out of her, and the castle fills with light...

To the outside world, Stonybreck Castle appears to be caught in a time bubble.

No one can enter, no one can leave, and the goblin nation - more thankful to Freya for stopping Ranrok than any of the human ministries - takes up a watchful vigil over the castle. (Think The Still Ruins in DA:I's Western Approach.)

As the years pass, the mystery of Stonybreck Castle is largely forgotten by everyone except the goblins, who are present when the bubble dissipates in the summer of 1993, revealing a Freya and Sebastian who show no signs that any time has passed for them at all.

They're taken to Gringotts. Once their identities are verified, one of their old goblin friends - now very old indeed - has the unfortunate task of explaining to them just how much time has passed. And just how much the wars took from them.

(Natty died fighting Grindelwald; so did Ominis, though his death was originally thought to be an accident after Grindelwald came looking for his family's Hollow and was only later found to be otherwise. Poppy was maimed fighting poachers and later fell during Voldemort's rise... and so on. Their daughter Ingrid died in 1979, alone, of Dragon Pox, the wars having taken her husband and children long before.)

Their first day in 1993 is spent mourning.

Their second day might well have been spent the same if not for the fact that Harry Potter, freshly escaped from the Dursleys, comes to the bank that morning... and for the first time ever the magical guardians portion of his paperwork is not obfuscated - and reads Countess Freya Magnusson of Orkney and her consort, Sebastian Sallow of Feldcroft.

It eventually comes out that Freya's muggleborn father, Joseph Evans, is the brother of Harry's mother's great-great-grandfather, Samuel Evans, making them first cousins four times removed. Regardless of the details, Freya is Harry's closest magical blood relative, making her and her husband automatically his magical guardians.

This proves to be just the thing Freya needs to pull herself of the depression she might otherwise have fallen into (the guilt over leaving her daughter alone is crushing, and while Ingrid had Freya's father to take care of her... Harry has not been so lucky).

Freya is a one-woman war machine, bulldozing over any and all who stand in her way. Who placed Harry with his aunt and uncle? Why were his parents' ignored? Why did no one check on the boy? Why did no one realize he was being abused? How did the headmaster not realize Voldemort was possessing one of this teachers? Why did it fall to a 12-year-old child to save a classmate from a basilisk stalking the school halls? - She sets out to solve all these problems and more.

Sebastian is equally incensed by all of this, but views a large part of it as Hogwart's failing - after all, if the school had done a better job of teaching why it's such a bad idea to delve into the Dark Arts rather than just saying, Dark Magic bad, they wouldn't be in this position. Some of it is also the Ministry's fault for being so incompetent, but the only way to keep more people from losing themselves to the Dark Arts like he almost did (and more people dying because of those Dark wizards) is education.

And so Sebastian becomes the DADA teacher for the 1993 school year, because even a man 95 years out of time is still preferable to werewolf to the school board. (Or, since Lupin's status as a werewolf is not widely known, a pureblood a century out of time is far preferable to a poor half-blood mated to a man in Azkaban for life.)

Canon does not so much proceed apace as nosedive into AU.

Sebastian is nearly fired within his first month for sitting down with all his classes, explaining what Dark magic really is, why it's dangerous, and why some parts of it can be safely used but why it's very easy to get lost in it. The takeaway is basically: if you want to learn, find yourself a reputable teacher after you graduate, but until then you'll find yourself in detention if I catch you dabbling in it... which is still entirely too pro-Dark for Dumbledore. Although Dumbledore attempts to chide him on it, Sebastian comes back with - among other things - I remember you as a tetchy first year and telling kids why they shouldn't do something works better than a simple no, that's parenting 101.

He goes on to catch Sirius during his Halloween break-in by the simple expedient of having been on his way outside the wards to apparate back to Stonybreck Castle to visit his wife, but by this point they've realized that the MoM has never given him a trial, so rather than tell anyone he takes Sirius home with him, where Freya offers him legal sanctuary on behalf of the Danish government.

Third Year ends up being remarkably peaceful for Harry despite the Dementors, but even they are gone by Easter once the Danish government makes it known they've offered Sirius sanctuary.

Fourth Year has the Triwizard Tournament, but since Sebastian is still DADA professor, he's the one who insists on casting the age lines around the Goblet of Fire and makes it so someone can only put their own name in if they're between 17 and 20. And so Harry is never a part of it - and is too protected by Sebastian and Freya to be easily kidnapped.

Voldemort finally manages to resurrect himself during Halloween 1995 using the blood of Mad-Eye Moody. He slowly gathers forces, staying quiet until he manages a big attack on Platform 9 3/4 on the last day of Harry's Fifth Year. Several students are killed - especially the younger ones - but several more are able to fight back, having had 3 years of DADA under a competent professor.

It quickly becomes undeniable that Voldemort is back - or, as the MoM spins it, someone is pretending to be him to gain power.

Sixth Year is spent with Voldemort on the offensive. Dumbledore tries to counter with the Order, but after 3 years of seeing Freya gradually erode his power base for failing so badly in the aftermath of the war - and 3 years of seeing a DADA teacher teach their children and stand up for them for the first time in living memory - it's to Freya and Sebastian most turn.

Between Freya's Ancient Magic and Sebastian's knowledge of the Dark Arts, they're able to determine Voldemort made Horcruxes without having to wait for Dumbledore to cough up the knowledge. They're able to use runes to track the others down and Ancient Magic to destroy them. When they face Voldie during his attack on Hogwarts in May 1997, he is mortal.

Though they both fight, Sebastian is the one who casts the final blow this time, and he's hailed as the wizarding world's latest savior.

Sebastian goes on to hold the DADA post for 25 more years before going on to replace McGonagall as Hogwarts Headmaster. He holds that post for half-a-century before retiring as one of the most beloved headmasters in Hogwarts history.

Freya continues her research into runes and Ancient Magic, eventually succeeding in making the mirror-portal she so desired. These come to replace long-distance portkeys, with mirror-portal "airports" set up in each of the largest wizarding cities to facilitate travel. She remains a strong political force as Countess of Orkney, but largely stays out of British wizarding affairs after Harry comes of age...

...and Harry, following her example, goes on to use the training they gave him and his own political power as the Boy-Who-Lived to reform the MoM from the inside - starting with the Aurors. It's a long a difficult journey, but by the time he steps down after his third term as Minister of Magic, the MoM utterly unrecognizable. And actually worthy of being called a competent wizarding government.

Bonuses include:

It never being clear what caused the time bubble that catapulted Freya and Sebastian from 1898 to 1993, although Freya comes to suspect it has something to do with having been approximately 4 weeks pregnant at the time. Twins Aleksander and Irene are born 1 February, 1994 - nearly a full century after their sister Ingrid - and both start showing proficiency in Ancient Magic upon reaching their 15th birthdays;

Harry spending nearly his entire Third Year being confused by kind, loving guardians who sweep in and care for him in a way no one ever has before. It's overwhelming and would be oppressive if they didn't also realize that he's a teenager who's been taking care of himself most of his life and therefore try to take his opinions into account. (He also proves to be the best big brother ever to Alek and Irene after they're born);

Harry himself is never a Horcrux, as Horcruxes cannot be made accidentally. Dumbledore's whole plan to have him sacrifice himself is predicated on a misunderstanding of how the Dark Arts work and thus unnecessary. Whatever connection the two share is because of prophesy, not magic;

At least a third of this fic being about the differences between the muggle world and the wizarding - not just national borders, but culture, language, religion, clothing, food, and everything. The wizarding world does not exist in isolation from the muggles, but it is largely self-contained with only marginal influences from the muggleborns who join each year (who, for the most part, adapt to wizarding ways). This should have a variety of cascading effects beyond what we see in canon and should be most obvious with Freya, who is very much a Nordic Witch despite being from what in the muggle world is a British island. It should also create all sorts of political tensions as the wizarding various powers within the British Isles brush against each other (perhaps the English MoM bulled the Scottish MoM into allowing Dementors at Hogwarts in Third Year and the Scots hold a grudge? &c); and

Freya Magnusson and Sebastian Sallow being the example of love among magicals for the next two hundred years. He respects her power and influence, never begrudging her the time she must spend dealing with her earldom or resenting the power she or their children have. She loves and respects him in turn, never judging him for his occasional slips into the darkest of Dark Arts, and trusts him in all things. They are a BAMF battle couple - and loving parents. They care for Harry as much as they for for any children of their blood, and want to make a world a better place for all of them.

As you can tell, I have a lot of ideas for this plot bunny, most of which is background information. Although the hopping off point for this fic was giving Harry a responsible adult, most of the action centers around Freya and Sebastian, and it shows. As always, feel free to borrow this bun. Just link back if you do anything with it.

More HP Ideas | More Terrible Fic Ideas

[abstract-ornithology]

some miscellaneous thoughts after rereading Ancillary Justice (this is my third time reading it but first time listening to the audiobook):

I think I’ve gotten better at picking up on unreliable narrator since the last time I read this book because it is only now hitting me that Breq (whom I love and cherish) is (respectfully) kind of a fucking dumbass sometimes

Adjoa Andoh!!!! is so good!!!!!

I think what threw me off the first time I read the book is that Breq is both incredibly confident in her abilities and competent enough for it to be justified, so I, being the emotionally incompetent (and almost certainly neurodivergent) teenager I was at the time, failed to pick up on the fact that despite this, she is also oblivious to the extent that her actions are dictated by her emotions (I say this like I’m not still an emotionally incompetent teenager, but humour me)

I want to make my was-almost-an-English-major friend read this so we can analyze it together, but she said she doesn’t like sci-fi because she finds the worldbuilding stuff too complicated so that’s not going to happen :(

I love how Ancillary Justice gets around the otherwise potentially suspension-of-disbelief-breaking coincidences by making them A Thing That’s Important for Radchaai citizens. Also the moments where it outright tells the reader the connotations of a word because it’s different in the in-universe languages compared to English. My thoughts on this aren’t very coherent, I just think some of the literary devices in this book are really interesting and different to what I’ve had to analyze in English class and Ann Leckie is really cool

Like, seriously, I want to have an actual conversation about this with someone who actually knows what they’re talking about because there’s so much neat stuff in the writing of this book and I want to have coherent ideas about it. I can hear all my past English teachers laughing maniacally as they bask in their success.

All the names in this series are such a vibe. And now I even know how to pronounce them! Audiobooks are great :)

Seivarden’s character development??!! (/pos)

That’s all the words my brain has to vomit for now, but I may do some actual analysis or something when/if I develop more coherent thoughts. It’s exam season though so no guarantees

[karinyosa]

Gene and Brinker, good sir?

AHHH okay okay

what made you ship it?

reading the book lol. ok so i feel like there's a lot of context i need to explain for this beyond just the book's subtext bc there's a bit of personal lore here. before teaching us the book, my middle school english teacher introduced each of the central four characters with this powerpoint with a slide on each one, and the way she described them like archetypically and physically made it sound almost like (to MY middle school brain) a dating sim, in which gene was the main character. like the blurb already sounds very romance novelesque so jdkshfkh. ig it wasn't too big a leap. so we already have a baseline there.

i also think that in the book brinker and gene are a secondary and competing rivarly/friendship to gene and finny's rivarly/friendship, and i think that's where the tension between brinker and gene and brinker and finny comes from. in fact this is kind of just text, like brinker and finny i think are pretty explicitly competing for gene's attention. i'm pretty sure there are some like old asp posts from the earlier 2010s era of the fandom where people are like "brinker and gene/finny have such ex energy", but iirc it was more often finny? like i'm definitely not the only person to see this Thing brinker has going on with gene, but at the time i'm p sure brinkerfinny was the more widespread take. anyway. brinker pursues gene so relentlessly both as an antagonist and as a guy who just Needs to be doing things with him, Needs to be occupying his time and attention. and yet they maintain this weird friendship/understanding throughout. to me this was most pronounced with the whole enlistment thing, and that dynamic where gene had to choose between finny and brinker for the enlistment/not enlistment??? it just gave very love triangle energy. the intensity with which brinker is fixated on gene is like. it gives repressed queer guy with problems. it's beyond wanting to antagonize him, he just is constantly coming up with excuses to be around him and to orient his focus around the pursuit of this one guy. his need to be morally superior to the object of his pursuit feels very queercoded to me. it's a very funny contrast to other parts of the book where he and gene are seemingly chill and normal friends? boy has issues

2. what are your favorite things about the ship?

HOOOOOO okay i have a long answer for this because it has to do with how i accidentally made myself insane about them. so i have this really long winded headcanon-turned-sequel fic in my Brain and Mind about gene and brinker moving in together after the war for kind of money reasons and kind of personal reasons. gene has been depression camping in finny's family's attic for a long undefined amount of time, and brinker is like hey you need to get the fuck out of there come live with me idiot. cue several years later and this is where the fic starts. i usually have it start at the time that gene would've gone back to visit devon, because i like the idea of that whole thing happening during a hs reunion in devon town, in which he and brinker joint travel and stay with his family which is its own whole awkwardness but anyway. <- culmination of everything i've ever thought about them since eighth grade

most of my genebrinker thoughts center around this period of adulthood where they're not young anymore but they're not old either, and they have all this unresolved tension and shared trauma and resentment that spills over into their "present" relationship. i think this is where genebrinker would theoretically "actually" start, in adulthood. i think there could've been ambiguous things earlier, especially during their joint enlistment period if they happened to be together, but nothing very deliberate or openly acknowledged until much later. it's this delicious mix of both having an established very domestic and familiar dynamic, knowing this person's routines and habits inside out, and yet having this pent up unspoken something. and for gene and brinker, it's not just this quiet tenderness, although i think that's bound to happen sometimes when you're essentially apartment husbands. i think they'd blow up at each other and let things slip during heated moments that they don't mean to, mostly on brinker's side, bc i think brinker's been nursing some kind of crush since hs, whereas if gene returned brinker's feelings, i think they'd slowly build over time. their familiarity with each other is also very interesting because, while they have this odd like, daddy issues(?) solidarity in the book that again feels very queer, in adulthood, it's also this thing of like, they kind of shared the murder of one of their closest friends. my fav think about genebrinker is that they know the worst of each other, that they actively participated in some of the worst parts of each other's lives, but it's that coupled with like, arguing over dinner and visiting the parents and trying to hold down stable jobs. or i guess for something more connected to the actual book, that coupled with like, accompanying your friend to an awkward meeting with his dad

this is not even all the things i think about their dynamic or all the like underlying sources of tension in their adult relationship in my head, i also think they'd be in very different places in terms of sexuality, and that would come to a head at some point, but i'll stop here because this is a question about my favorite THING, not explain every thought you've ever had about them

3. is there an unpopular opinion you have about your ship?

i think the entire ship is an unpopular opinion lmfao. like 90% of this is my headcanons. ummm i have brinker being the more responsible of the two when i write them as adults, if still the more temperamental one, so that might be controversial? i think at this stage of their lives, he's more practical and better at home ec stuff, and gene cannot fucking take care of himself for the life of him. gene is running himself into the ground while brinker is like get your fucking socks off my floor

[emmedoesntdomath]

What do modern Newsies do for work?

congrats, you have stumbled upon yet another emme going off the rails post, enjoy your stay. 

starting strong, we have our lovely davey as an english teacher. this is in my headcanon post for him, but he started out as poli sci because he considered it a “real degree” 

race works for nasa. doing what, you may ask? I have no idea. it’s classified. but he comes home every night literally skipping, so. *shrugs*

jack’s a police officer. DON’T COME AT ME, OKAY, IT MAKES SENSE IN MY BRAIN. 

spot’s also a police officer, and he met race through jack that way (jack regrets so many things). 

albert does…something. he makes money. is it legal? nope. does it bring in ominous amounts of cash at all hours? oh, absolutely. (please tell me I don’t have to explain further. you understand what I mean.)

finch works at a zoo. he adores the pandas. race and albert are not allowed to visit often. 

les works in advertising. he has no idea how he got there. he is so bored. always says he’s going to get a new job, never does. 

katherine still writes, but it’s for her own blog and the occasional article for the new york times (never her father). 

specs is a programmer. he works in silicon valley, and makes BANK. 

sarah is a wedding planner. she specializes in lgbtqia+ weddings.

bumlets is a male gymnastics coach. he competed professionally in college and afterwards for a while, but had to stop due to an injury. 

skittery works at jimmy johns. I don’t make the rules. 

crutchie is a therapist. except to his friends. he refuses to give them ANY advice. you’re on your own, bitch. 

henry owns a chain of deli restaurants (originally started by his father), and makes a killer rueben. 

hotshot’s an architect. I have no idea why. 

buttons is a music teacher. he teaches with davey. 

…I am missing so many people, but I got a lot of them. let me know if you want to hear about anyone in particular. 

[panic-at-the-waffle-house]

I don’t like BookTok :)

I know the is isn’t the “hottest take” but I just don’t like it for a lot of reasons, one big one is that it spreads the idea of “you can’t read that book”.

Growing up, I always lived by the idea that you should read what you enjoy/makes you happy. Reading in general does wonders for the brain and creativity. This is coming from not only an avid reader, but someone whose mom was a reading teacher, albeit for elementary school. The growth of all of the students was amazing and they weren’t English speakers at all. She had students who could fluently speak it/read it to kids who knew nothing. I grew up in a VERY diverse town in the Midwest. Like white people were the MINORITY. So that also meant we had a lot of different cultures and different books/entertainment that was specific to that culture.

Anyway back to books lol.

The biggest critique I have with BookTok is that if there’s a book or series you like, someone is bound to nitpick it for some reason. I love criticism of a book, I think it’s great and being able to point out flaws leads to deep discussion. But a lot of the time, people like these books simply because THEY LIKE IT. You don’t have to like it, but they like it. Main examples are books by Colleen Hoover (I have my gripes with her, I can’t stand her books), but the people who read her books enjoy them so I’m not going to harass or bully them for something they enjoy. SJ Mass is another author who gets a lot of flame, again for reasonable reasons, but even I have enjoyed her books.

I really got into YA fantasy like early high school and late middle school. One of the first series I read was the Throne of Glass series which I picked up since my mom had the first book. I actually really enjoyed it and I was in like 7th grade at the time so some of the simplicity and common tropes were well worth it for me. But as I got older and tried to re-read the series, I couldn’t. I fell in love with the side characters more than the main ones. (Dorian was my number one boy and he still is. I was so excited whenever he appeared. Still my fav character.) I didn’t care for Aelin, Rowan, or some others simply because I just didn’t really care for them. They’re fine, just not my favs and I know some people love them which is valid.

I couldn’t even finish ACOTAR. I got halfway through and DNF’d it. I don’t care for first person point of view in general and I didn’t like her characters or the plot. Roman e was never my thing—I love it as a side plot but if the entire book is about romance I find it boring. I barely made it through The Selection.

Before fantasy YA, I was big into dystopian. THG was my first real YA book and I loved it, with the Maze Runner after it. It’s my favorite YA fictional series to this day even though it has its flaws. The move from dystopian to fantasy was very much in a certain span of my life and now I see it being so popular in media which is great. Except for the people who don’t know how to respect OPINIONS. Not only that, but gatekeeping makes me mad.

All through my life I liked reading classics, classics of every region. My mom always had classic books lying around so I would pick them up and the ones from the different ethnic groups and cultures were always at the public library for me to read. That’s how I got books like

Crime and Punishment- Russian Literature

No Longer Human- Japanese Literature

The Iliad- Greek Literature

Dracula-Irish Literature

Journey to The West-Chinese Literature

The Idiot- Japanese Literature

Don Quixote-Spanish Literature

And so many others at an early age. Some of them are well known and some aren’t—which is normal. But when some people who read classics look down on others or say “you can’t read that because you’re doing it to be quirky”, it bothers me. I always wanted to talk to others about these books and damn it I was STRUGGLING to find people to talk to about The Great Gatsby who actually liked it in seventh grade. This is PROMINENT in the BSD fandom since the characters are named after famous classical authors and some people are stuck up, not wanting these books to be read.

It never made sense to me. Maybe I’m the stupid one.

Overall, there are very few people on BookTok who I enjoy watching or listening to. Each series has its highlights and its flaws, like humans do, so just let people enjoy a book damnit. And if people want to vent or explain why they DONT like a book let them damnit.

Anyway what’s a book that scarred you for like???? I read Where The Red Feen Grows at like 10 years old and am still traumatized by it. :D

[sizebrained]

Movie Night of Big Feels, Part 1

Ben and Hazel do Netflix and Chill (warning it's long).

This happens *just before* the first part of the Rat chapter. Y'know for max level suffering.

CW: Adult themes, language, feelings, and gazing. ANGST AND FLUFF!

***

Ben's final paper assignment was to pick a single movie about King Arthur from the 70's, 80's, and 90's. He had to trace what each movie decided to highlight from the original myth and how different each was, what he thought of it, and a bunch of other stuff proving his brain worked. It made him doubt the point of college, especially since he didn't have to really worry about finding a job for money. He could have watched movies and talk about the differences without sitting in a class. But Hazel seemed to disagree with him. Strenuously.

Hazel had to drag Ben across the finish line to get a passing grade in his Medieval Literature class, at least figuratively. Hazel would, literally, struggle to move one of his fingers at their respective sizes. His whole body would have been ridiculously impossible for her to move, unless she snuck up and scared him to make him jump.

The readings were all dense and hard to follow. Ben insisted that they didn't seem to be in English, despite both the teacher and Hazel's insistence that Beowulf, Chaucer and the other readings were founding pillars for the English language. Just as Dante's Divine Comedy was for contemporary Italian as Hazel pointed out one day when he had objected. It seemed like Italian stuff came up a lot since he had met Hazel even though she was British. Ben's other major challenge with his Medieval Literature course was that it was an in-person class.

Ben hated those if he could avoid them.

Ben hated in-person classes because the other people in those classes whispered or gawked at him all semester. You couldn't really tell how tall someone was on a video call. It got better over time as they got used to him, but it was still something he noticed. He saw in the way most of his classmates looked at him or spoke to him. Or, god forbid, when he had to speak up.

But Hazel and Sam would only let him do one all virtual class a semester. They both said he needed to get out more. He had bought this condo fully intending to avoid that after his accident.

He really enjoyed having Hazel in his life. But he wasn't as happy about it when she agreed with Sam and it forced him to do something. Like going to in-person classes with other people.

He knew it was for his own good, but he still protested. He did feel better after he spent time around people, despite the gawking and whispers. For his Medieval Literature class's final paper, Ben was also disappointed that his attempts to coax Hazel into helping him write it failed. She said that was cheating, and stood firm in refusal. "My tutoring because of some shortcoming on your professor's part in a lecture is one thing," Hazel said explaining her objections, "But I am absolutely not going to do your work for you. I have had my education. This is your responsibility." To make really sure, Hazel disappeared for long periods while he was working on it under the deadline. Ben didn't like when she was gone. It made his big modern condo feel empty. He liked that when he first moved in, in fact that's why he bought it.

But without catching glimpses of Hazel on the countertop, or her bookcase, and it was truly hers at this point not his, or best of all on his shoulder or pocket...everything in the place seemed hard and sharp. In a bad way, like it was hostile and needed her to soften it up.

For someone so small, he always felt like she filled it. It was enough of a difference that Ben resolved to not even joke about asking her to cheat on a paper or exam. He also had no idea where she would go. When he asked, Hazel only offered that she was "Around."

She had spent most of the time Ben was working on his final paper traveling back and forth outside to the old shed. She was taking fresh, human food out to her father and checking in on him.

Even though most of that time was spent in silence or lost in her memories during the trek from the building and back. But she hadn't told Ben about her father still living out in the shed. Her father asked her not to and she wanted to honor his request. So it remained a mystery to him about where she had gone. But with a new semester, Hazel did help him select courses rather than go by the rumors of what class was easiest.

When they were going through the course options on his computer, Hazel had suggested he take one for an elective that was titled Myth, Media, and the Staying Power of King Arthur and the Camelot Legend.

He had read parts of Mallory's Le Morte d'Arthur in Medieval Literature. Ben was surprised that it seemed familiar but also really different, which was the point of this course. How something changed over time. She thought this could build upon what he had learned from his Medieval Literature class so it didn't seem like a total waste.

Plus, he got to watch a lot of movies for this class. Some even in class. Although he did have to write short papers after each one, but that wasn't so bad.

It was even the same professor from his Medieval Literature class. She was hard but fair. Ben was still amazed he had passed and the professor seemed pleased to notice him again in one of her classes. Although, at his size, it was impossible not to notice him. It definitely had a lot of knights, but there wouldn't be many dragons.

"Unless you count Uther," Hazel said laughing. Ben didn't think it was a good joke. Her jokes were usually terrible. But he still felt his lips tug upwards at the corner of his mouth a bit.

They sat together now on his large couch as he started the first movie he was going to write about in his final paper. "If you had the 1960's I would have suggested Camelot. They made a film of the broadway show. I actually got to see the show with Mary in New York once..." Hazel said feeling the memory inside. It wasn't pleasant now like it had been once. It felt like it had claws and the sharp points scraped the edges of her heart now. Ben hated musicals. He couldn't get over someone just breaking out into song in the middle of doing something else. He imagined if he was guarding someone during a game only for both teams to stop playing and break into a coordinated song and dance about how important it was to not miss the shot. "I'm uh not a fan of musicals. I bet it's in black and white like all the other movies you like." Ben added with some sarcasm woven into his words. "The film version is in color actually...if I remember correctly. The songs are not really proper really songs though, at least not like a good Gilbert and Sullivan. There is one song in it though I am quite fond of..." Hazel said a little defensively. "Oh what's the song?" Ben asked. He had put an elbow down on the couch arm where she stood, resting his face on his upturned palm. He was actually curious. But he was curious whenever she told him something he didn't know. "If Ever Would I Leave You..." Hazel said flatly. She wasn't looking at Ben when she said it. It was like she saw something else in the distance that had caught her attention. It was her memory of that show and night again. She felt the sharp claws again. "How does it go?" Ben asked wondering if she was going to break into song too. But he had never heard her sing. He only sang when he was in the shower sometimes. Hazel had heard him once and asked what had song had so inspired him. He turned bright red and didn't sing in the shower afterwards. "I cannot recall..." Hazel replied still staring in the distance. She was lying. She knew every word. "I can look it up real quick." Ben said pulling out his phone from his shorts to search. She wished he wouldn't, it just made her think of Mary. Hazel was remembering the feel of Mary's lips on her body that night. Ben found a video and lyrics and started reading out loud, "You were right the movie was in color...If ever would I leave you, it wouldn't be in summer. Seeing you in summer I would never go..." Ben stopped feeling awkward. It was a love song. It felt weird to read it to Hazel. "Well anyway, let's watch our movie." Ben said putting away his phone. Hazel turned towards the television and wiped her eyes swiftly.

For the 70's, Ben decided on Monty Python's Holy Grail.

He had already seen it when the class had watched it together. Ben was surprised how funny it was even though it was so old. Hazel had never seen it, which was the main reason he picked it. He wanted to watch it with her. He wanted to do everything with her.

At the start of the movie, Ben had set his big popcorn bowl on the edge of the wide couch arm. But then he quickly realized Hazel wouldn't be able to see over it. He didn't want to move it backwards, closer to him, because then he wouldn't be able to see her over it. Ultimately, Ben decided to just put the big bowl in his lap and hand a piece to her when she wanted one.

About a quarter through the movie, he was handing her a kernel nonstop in a loop. He switched to putting small handfuls on the edge of the couch arm in front of her. Hazel thought the movie was hilarious. Maybe it was funnier for her because there was something British about it that he didn't notice.

It was so funny that she actually snorted several times. That made Ben laugh more than the movie. Because he spent most of the movie...watching her watch it. Ben had noticed the way he had started looking at Hazel about midway through his last semester. But it wasn't really the way he was looking. His eyes were doing the same thing they had always done.

He realized it was the way he was seeing her. Like it didn't matter that she wasn't even four inches tall, though that was still pretty difficult to ignore. And the tail.

It was easier to ignore her height when he got closer. But that made the feeling he had seeing her get worse. It felt like the start of a panic attack in his lungs that never came.

He felt like he would break out in a sweat if he did it for too long. But, usually, she would back away or find a way to create distance between them. He didn't like when she did it, but he also didn't want to be a jerk. He tried to remind himself how he would feel if their situation was reversed. How would Ben feel if was only 4 inches tall, and she was his size. He would have wanted her closer. And he wouldn't have pulled away.

Thinking of it now made Ben adjust himself discretely in his spot on the couch. Ben was pretty sure Sam suspected that he was...well that he was looking at her the way he was looking at Hazel. Recently, he looked over at his sister after he had been staring at Hazel. They had just exchanged a few briefs words very close to one another, the way he liked. Sam had noticed. She gave her younger brother a knowing look with one suspiciously raised eyebrow. "I see you babe," was all Sam said smiling at her big little brother.

But it was enough for to Ben feel a creeping embarassment make its way up his spine using each vertebrae like the step on a ladder. After a while Monty Python's ending credits started rolling up the screen, Hazel wiped her eyes still laughing and was fanning her face. "Dear lord, I cannot believe I have been missing out on that film for half a century." She said between laughs. Ben didn't like when Hazel said that kind of thing. He knew she wasn't trying to, but it reminded him of just how much older she was than him. It didn't make any sense.

She looked like she was his age up close. But she talked and acted like she was from a different century. And she was, but it made him feel weird.

She had explained that their lifespans were far far longer than humans. He did begrudgingly did the math. If they lived to be 1000 instead of 100 like a human, if you were lucky, then Hazel would only be two years older. But when she mentioned the math somehow it didn't seem like comparatively mattered.

It made him feel more distant from her. He hated that feeling. "I hate when you do that..." Ben said out loud not realizing it. "Hate what?" Hazel said. She had stopped her residual laughter now. She was staring up at him with a concerned look.

Shit...Ben thought to himself. *** End Part 1

[1d1195]

Bestiee no tell me you are not from east coast of US!! Shuttt uppppp!!

And you are a maths teacher oh my u are such a talented person!! Nd high school level  u are brave for teaching that level of students cause It may be a bit chaotic right??

I'm studying English majors!! And I have no Brain for mathssss lol!!

Ah good luck for all the work you gonna do!! Oh which colour nails are gonna doo bestie??

-🪴

I am! I'm a New Englander!

I actually love little kids and I'm told about 200 times a week that I should have been an elementary school teacher. But I liked teaching math more so I knew I had to teach older kids. I love them. They're obnoxious and irritate me and make me sad a lot of the time but they're also hilarious, adorable, and just giant kids at heart.

God bless you, I can't analyze a poem or a story for shit. My sister is an English major. She wrote most of my essays when I was in college. She has no idea I enjoy writing so much hahahahaha

I'm not sure! My favorite color is blue so I usually end up with blue nails. But I'm suddenly really thinking green or pink. Maybe I'll do rainbow colored because of my indecision. Idk if I'll have time to get them done tbh but I'm going to hope.

What do you want to do with your English degree? Do you want to teach or do you want to be an author? I've got a list of other jobs I would want to do that are so much more English based than math it's tragic. It's like I have two people in my body

xoxo

[agonycrossbow]

I'm pretty confident in saying that anyone in my generation who slaps "siblings" on Leon and Ashley are probably people who have another ship and have had it for a while and don't want Ashley getting in the way of it, tbh LMAO

Like.... my generation has co-opted the current generation's vernacular, but make no mistake about the kind of bitches we are. We're ship war bitches. That's all we've ever been AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE OUR WAYS NOW fjdskfh

But if we're talking about the current generation...

Media illiteracy is a big factor in this. It's no secret to anyone that the US education system took a massive shit starting in the late aughts/early 2010s, and things like critical reading skills aren't being taught in schools anymore.

I graduated high school in 2007. Two years later, I went back to visit an old English teacher to get a letter of recommendation, and he was lamenting to me that he'd just given up. It wasn't worth trying to explain the deeper themes of Beowulf to kids who didn't care, because the only thing that mattered was getting them to pass standardized tests.

So, now, without an overt, explicit declaration of love or something visually concrete like a kiss, kids literally do not have the skills to parse through a text and pick out themes and tropes and use of symbolism and imagery. They were never taught how to do it.

But there's a more culture-based thing happening here, I think. It's this fucking mess of a cocktail of internalized misogyny paired with learned helplessness, social anxiety, intense sheltering possibly exacerbated by the pandemic shutdowns, peer pressure, and internet purity culture.

I think it's pretty safe to say that fandom is predominantly made up of women and teenage girls. That was true in the 60s in Star Trek fandom, it was true in my generation, and it's still true today. And what I've seen happening today is that young women are absolutely terrified of their own sexual agency -- because the internet keeps telling them that, if you're under 18, it is wrong and bad and unacceptable for you to engage with anything even remotely sexual and how dare you express your sexuality -- and you'd better not do it not just because it's wrong and bad, but also because you are GUARANTEED TO BE PREYED UPON IF YOU DO. SEX IS DANGEROUS ALL OF THE TIME AND YOU'RE LITERALLY TOO YOUNG AND TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING SO DON'T TRY TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Because if you're 17 and he's 18, he's a pedophile!!!!!!!!

I just.

So, we've now basically turned an entire generation of young women into the same type of young women who created the BL genre in Japan. These are women who were too afraid to explore their sexuality on their own, and it felt safer to do it with two male characters, because it was always more "okay" for men to be sexual. This is happening here in the West, now.

Slash ships have always been a thing in the West, but not to the degree that they are today. In today's fandom, if you have an M/F ship at all, you are outnumbered by at least 3:1 -- because M/M just "feels" safer for a lot of the current generation.

So, I think young women look at the Remake portrayal of Ashley Graham, and they identify with her. A lot. They're probably around her age, and her personality is very relatable to the kind of girls who play video games. Ashley's clearly introverted, but she's a fast learner who just wants to help, and she's got a good heart and a weird, kind of awkward sense of humor.

And, not only do these girls identify with Ashley, they're probably thirsty as fuck for Leon.

But that's terrifying to them.

Because they have been taught to fear their own sexual agency. The idea that an attractive, traditionally masculine, older man would be romantically or sexually interested in them is immediately categorized in their brains as wrong and bad -- and they don't want to think of Leon in that way.

So... for them, it can't be romantic. It can't be sexual. But there's clearly something there, but Leon would never abuse or prey on anyone so... that bond must be a perfectly innocent familial affection. That's what it is. That's what it has to be, because anything else forces them to face the uncomfortable reality even young women like them go on dates and have sex -- and sometimes, it's with men like Leon.

So, they thirst over Leon at a safe distance through Luis, primarily. Or they self-indulge on reader fic, because that's so much easier to write off as "just a fantasy" and not a statement on who Leon actually is as a character.

And it's just kind of sad, man. It sucks to see this happen to an entire generation of young women.

That's why I don't really get mad when I see the "siblings" shit out in the wild. I just feel sad for those people -- because they can't just say "I don't like the ship." They're so insecure and neurotic that they have to think of a reason why the ship is literally impossible to ever happen so that they don't have to be worried about it.

One day, they'll finally suck a dick for themselves and learn that it's not that serious. It's really fuckin not. Dicks are stupid, and the boys that are attached to them are even dumber.

[its-a-hil]

ok. random question. literally from the random question generator at randomwordgenerator dot cahm: What's your go-to funny story now, but was horrendous at that moment?

(i think it gave me a question i already know but eh shoot)

hm.

alright i think this is actually more of the reverse than the forward direction, but sure

when i was in middle school, i was such a horrible procrastinator (note: i am still one of those) that i often wrote rough drafts of essays during lunch

(the one year in middle school i didnt do this was when i had english 1st period. tbh i wish my schedule had worked out like that all 3 years, but alas)

but i got so comfortable just throwing out words with a pencil that i kept doing it and now i almost never edit anything bc i need to write it all in one go or it's wrong

but final drafts still had to be typed & printed, so it was only my rough drafts that were like this

fast forward to high school, and rough drafts became less of a thing

my compulsion to procrastinate did not.

oh also relevant here is that i was emotionally incapable of asking for an extension or submitting online after class or anything

so.

senior year of high school. we had an essay to write on Twelfth Night, where we had to pick a word that was repeated a few times and discuss its effect on the story

i picked 'fancy' and used it to argue the absolute bullshit point that it meant the whole thing was a dream, because i had no other ideas and my brain refused to set aside time to do something more reasonable

except.

i did not begin writing until lunch of that day.

i did not have access to the computer lab i had planned to write the essay in.

i pleaded with a friend to lend me his laptop, on which i did the most frantic writing of my life. i dont remember if i ate any food during that lunch period.

(according to my diary i also said something shitty to that friend even as he was doing me a massive favor, which. god.)

looking at the document now (ty google drive), it seems that i didnt actually finish the essay, just wrote notes on the different uses of the word

im not sure if it was just a rough draft or notes kind of thing that was due, or if i lucked out and the essay was extended or something? unclear

but what is clear is that i wrote 440 words in just over an hour, and that's not counting the quotes i had to transcribe (which also made up over 400 words)

the following night i turned it into an actual 750ish word essay in also about an hour, bc. yeah. (i still didn't write an intro until i printed it out during study hall the next day lmao)

so anyway the essay was shit, the teacher was genuinely confused and pulled me aside after the class where she handed the essays back

note: she was also the theater teacher & that semester i was doing the play afterschool, and i think she knew i was better than what i handed in

:/

in my defense i was fairly depressed that couple of months, partially due to an responsibility that i did not realize i could easily say no to. the only consequence that refusing that responsibility would have had is that i would have hated myself less and possibly liked engineering more

oh also looking at my diary apparently that was also the week that i taught precalc bc the teacher's partner was suddenly out for paternity leave and i had an essentially free period during the precalc class

so yeah that's probably the third most interesting week of my senior after the week that we had the play performances and the week i was out in the hospital when my lungs spontaneously collapsed

the funniest part of that story is that it took me another 3ish years to realize that i wanted to be a teacher, and another 2 years after that to act on that desire. lmao

anyway bc im sure you freaks want to see it, im putting the essay under the cut

Actual essay:

Twelfth Night is one of Shakespeare’s most fantastical plays. Even without the use of magic, the supposedly realistic events are completely improbable. There is evidence that the play was intended to be a fantasy, and throughout the play, the word “fancy” is used to suggest to the audience that the events of the play are little more than a fanciful construction of Orsino’s mind. 

Orsino speaks four of the six instances of “fancy” or “fantasy.” Two of these instances come in his first monologue, right at the beginning of the play. He claims that “so full of shapes is fancy that it alone is high fantastical” (1.1.14-15). As Adams says, in this passage Orsino claims “that his own imagination is so fertile that it is supremely capricious and whimsical.” (Adams 58). It is odd that the play would start with this double mention of fancy, especially when the word is not mentioned again until the end of Act two. It is even stranger that the plot concludes with Orsino making Viola/Cesario his “fancy’s queen” (5.1.415). Although Feste finishes the play with his final song, this line is the last spoken by any other character, and is a natural conclusion to the play nonetheless. There must be a reason why the play both begins and ends with a word only used six times throughout. This is the most direct clue that the play does not merely describe events in Shakespeare’s mind, but instead describes events in Orsino’s mind. 

More clues can be found by examining the other uses of fancy in the play. Sebastian remarks “Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep” after encountering a smitten, and unfamiliar Olivia (4.1.65). This line comes in one of the more fantastical scenes in the play, where Sebastian enters Illyria and is mistaken by everyone for Cesario. Sebastian can only conclude “this is a dream,” and calls upon fancy - imagination - to keep him from waking up. Sebastian addresses fancy as a powerful being, that has the ability to manipulate the world he sees. If the play does take place in Orsino’s imagination, fancy would have this power. Another thing to note about Sebastian’s mention of fancy is that it is in reference to Olivia. Her love for him, and reproach of the men who were dueling him, is the only reason he would want to continue living in this dream.

Olivia is a common subject of fancy, as used in its alternate definition of love. Malvolio, just before seeing Maria’s letter, thinks aloud that “should [Olivia] fancy, it should be one of my complexion” (2.5.24-25). Almost all references to fancy are directly related to Olivia. In fact, every major male character, except her uncle, is in love with Olivia. It is difficult for Orsino to conceive of a character who is not enamored when in the presence of the beautiful lady Olivia.  To him, when Olivia enters, “heaven walks on earth” (5.1.99). 

Regarding the rest of Malvolio’s scene, it is no less strange than Sebastian’s. The dour puritan begins with a statement of love for his lady, and then follows the insane directions of a letter that apparently describes her love for him, while the pranksters hide and watch in a nearby bush. Orsino’s mentions of “fancy” also take place in strange scenes. Without touching on the chaotic mess that is 5.1, 1.1 regards a Duke, who has been laid low grieving over his unrequited love for Olivia. She, in turn, decides not to admit any suitors until she has spent seven entire years mourning her dead brother. This scene feels almost surreal, setting the stage for the play that is to follow. Since almost every instance of the word fancy comes during a surreal scene, it can be inferred that the word is an indicator - a message to the audience that this play is a fantasy in the mind of Orsino.

There is one more use of “fancy,” however. During the argument between Orsino and Viola, Orsino speaks of men’s fancies as “more longing, wavering… than women’s are” (2.4.41-42). Twelfth Night is certainly long, spanning three months in Illyria, and the play constantly wavers from uplifting to demeaning, from reasonable to insane. The play as a whole fits so well with Orsino’s description of his “fancies” that one must wonder why that particular description was used. Interpreting Twelfth Night as a fancy conjured up by Orsino’s stricken mind makes a good deal more sense than attempting to reconcile the events with the real world. 

Work Cited:Adams, B. (1978). Orsino and the Spirit of Love: Text, Syntax, and Sense In Twelfth Night, I. i. 1-15. Shakespeare Quarterly,29(1), 52-59. doi:10.2307/2869169

The notes i wrote during the lunch period:

The first appearance of the word comes during Orsino’s monologue. The grief-stricken man describes his lovesickness by referring to his imagining of fantasies involving Olivia. Fancy is “full of shapes” to hear him tell it, filled with all kinds of images (1.1.14). This implies an interesting idea of the plot; it may be nothing more than a lovesick dream conjured by Orsino’s mind. After all, the plot is as “high fantastical” as something a distressed lover might imagine. (1.1.15). 

Malvolio’s mention of fancy is also about love and imagining it. He talks about “her [Olivia’s] fancy,” but the context of the scene and the rest of his dialogue imply that he is the one who fancies Olivia (2.5.24).. Malvolio claims that Olivia has said she would fancy “one of my complexion,” indicating that Malvolio has, through confirmation bias and imagination, convinced himself that Olivia was in love with him even before reading Maria’s letter (2.5.25). The fact that Malvolio, the outwardly stalwart Puritan, is as fanciful and in love as Orsino is a strong device for making fun of the Puritans as Shakespeare was wont to do. 

Sebastian has his reference to fancy when he meets Olivia and finds that he is the object of her fancy. 

[Discussing of the other two quotes]

In Twelfth Night, characters mention fancy when in fantastical scenes. Orsino had neglected his duties as a Duke to be lovesick over Olivia, Malvolio convinced himself that Olivia was in love with him moments before happening upon a letter regarding Olivia’s love, Sebastian came to a foreign city and found that a woman he had never seen was madly in love with him, and the final scene is perhaps the most fanciful of them all. Everything comes together in a hilarious, satisfying, and utterly unrealistic way. The use of the word fancy indicates that a scene either was or will be fanciful. This implies that Shakespeare is breaking the fourth wall, drawing attention to works of the imagination when the audience may be considering the play as imagination. In that way, Shakespeare implies that this comedy, however nice it may seem, is just a lovesick fantasy in the mind of Duke Orsino. 

Note also that almost every mention of the word is in reference to Olivia. The only exception is when Orsino calls Viola his “fancy’s queen,” but Orsino could just be (Inception-style) trying to prove to himself that he can love another. That is why the timeline does not make sense; Orsino needed to believe that his mind was not so changeable, that he would need three months with another woman to move past his love for Olivia. 

Quotes:

1.1.14-15:

Orsino: “So full of shapes is fancy 

That it alone is high fantastical.”

Context: These lines conclude Orsino’s opening monologue about his lovesickness and passion for Olivia. The monologue is discordant throughout, and this line sounds very arrogant, that nobody but a lover could have an extreme imagination.

This quote illustrates Orsino’s arrogance about his position (which is expanded upon in his later argument with Viola) and tells the audience that Orsino has spent some time cooped up in his mansion thinking of Olivia. 

2.5.23-25

Malvolio: “I have heard herself come

thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one

of my complexion.“

Context: This comes just before Malvolio finds Maria’s letter, when he is fancying that Olivia might be in love with him. He has almost convinced himself of her love even before he sees Maria’s letter, which would be a strange coincidence if Twelfth Night was not a comedy. 

This quote describes Malvolio’s desperation to be loved by Olivia. He uses a few choice words and actions of Olivia as a justification for her love, indicating confirmation bias and lack of perspective. 

4.1.63-66

Sebastian: “What relish is in this? how runs the stream?

Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:

Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;

If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!”

Context: This comes just after Sebastian enters Illyria and finds a beautiful woman suddenly wish to marry him. It is so illogical that he believes he must be dreaming, and he wishes for fancy to keep him from waking up. 

This quote tells us that Sebastian is wondrous at his entrance to Illyria. He forgets about Antonio as soon as strange men wish to duel and a strange beautiful woman claims to be in love with him. Sebastian is far more relaxed than most people would be in this context, especially if they could not find Antonio, the only person he was close with for the past three months.

5.1.412-415

Orsino: “Cesario, come;

For so you shall be, while you are a man;

But when in other habits you are seen,

Orsino's mistress and his fancy's queen.”

Context: This is the last line spoken by any character except Feste. It comes after Orsino learns of Viola’s true identity and gives up his love for Olivia. 

This quote implies that Orsino still thinks of Viola as Cesario, at least while she is in men’s clothing. 

[ffeelann]

That´s how — Kageyama Tobio Oneshot

hi there!!!

I have english and spanish writing commissions open, I don´t do just writting, but translating and essays and stuff. So if you want, you can always ask!

-------

Internally, Kageyama had a big uncomfortability feeling in that moment. He had been rejected by Yachi, who always helped both him and Hinata with english tests.

Hinata asked for Yachis´s help too but, because of her lack of time, she had to choose between them.

—So, Yachi-chan?— Hinata asked her, while he was staring at Kageyama, who was by his side. Kageyama also gave himself permission to stare at his new english rival.

—I…— while she tried to speak, Kageyama stared at her now, unintentionally scaring her.

And, being honest, choosing between a sunshine vibes boy and someone who seems capable of cutting off your arm with just a look, just like Kageyama, there is a difference, isn´t it?

For Yachi, that difference was extremely clear.

—Kageyama-kun— she said, and Kageyama could feel that shining look in his own eyes. But Yachi kept talking— … I´m sorry, really— Hinata literally jumped in joy while screaming with exclamation, making everyone near them stare on the jumping guy. Kageyama just sighed in answer.

—Stop doing that, Hinata, you have everyone´s attention now!

So that conversation was highly in discussion later, with the club members. Everyone was talking about who could help Kageyama to not fail english again.

—Well, I don´t know. It´s not like you can just spin a rulette with every student and choose one of them— Suga said, while Daichi was looking pretty worried.

Yachi was giving all their respective bottles to the team, and then her brain just formulated a brilliant idea.

—Spinning…— Yachi said, loudly enough for everyone hearing her. Those who were discussing, took place between the other guys who were staring at the youngest manager.

—What´s wrong with that?— Daichi asked.

—Oh, nothing. I just remembered something. I didn´t said nothing before because I haven´t think about it, but…

—¨but…¨?— Kageyama asked.

—There is this girl on class, who has been given lots of extra credits because she is… super cool with lenguages in general— when she said that, Sugawara reacted.

—Are you talking about y/s y/n? I know her— The third year said, while he was making obvious signs to Daichi to understand, but he didn´t.

—I have no idea about it but…

—Oh! Is the sixth girl!— Tanaka said while looking at Nishinoya.

—Six… Sixth on what?

—Oh, there is just… sometimes we guys think about wich girls would we date, for me and my brother right here, she is the number six.

—Is that girl, that japanesse and english teachers use as an example, remember, Daichi? ¨Even when she is younger than you!¨ and such.

Daichi opened his eyes twice as before.

—No way! People says that she just never opens a book before those tests…

—How is someone who doesn´t study, helping me to study?— Kageyama asked, and he was right.

—Well, you can ask her for help.

—Would she help me? I just… don´t even know her.

—Of course she will!— or not. Yachi didn´t really knew that.

—Another question— Kageyama said— Why do you thought of her because of ¨spining¨?

That question was actually interesting, so interesting that everyone just stared at Yachi to know the answer. And this last one just started talking as it was so obvious:

—Oh, y/n-san is always spinning her pens, or pencils… or whatever. I don´t know but, it looks cool.

Everyone had a little smile on their faces, thinking about Yachi´s thoughts simplicity. She noticed this somehow, and started taking notes while noticing she was blushing a little.

—————

So, y/n was still at school that afternoon, and that was a true crime for her, because she didn´t want to be here but, she had to stay because she promissed to help some guys on her friend´s club.

Anyway, she finally was allowed to go home early if she talked with their titular teacher who was apparently in the school yard.

The question was, where in the yard, right? No one specified nothing and she was revising every place she went, but couldn´t find no one.

So when she saw a girl putting watter in lots of bottles, she couldn´t help asking.

—I´m sorry but, I haven´t seen nobody— the girl said with dissapointment in her voice.

—It´s fine, I´ll just keep looking, he has to be somewhere— y/n said.

—O-oh, y/n-san!

—Yes?

—Would you do me a favor?— y/n just stared at her for a moment, and Yachi kept talking— One of the volleyball club members needs your help to studying english… would you mind…?

She were so exhausted she couldn´t say no, somehow. And… what would you lose by helping someone?

—I guess I could— Yachi celebrated internally, and y/n helped her taking those water bottles to the final destiny at the volley club.

Yachi called Kageyama to introduce him to you. He went with both of you once he was replaced by Sugawara on the practice.

—Y/n Y/s— he called Y/n, just to make sure he remembered the name. And he stared at her long messy hair, thinking about that enormus bun wich was not tied by nothing but a pen. He remembered what Yachi said about that lenguage prodigy spinning pens.

—That´s me— she said. He was going to talk, but you did it first— Hitoka said you need my help in english; so, If you need my help, I could try to help.

What was that? why was this girl mixing lenguages, was she trying to challenge him?

—Eh?

—Nothing, I said I´ll help you as long as I can. And as long as you follow my exigences…

Kageyama made himself quiet but, he imediately started trying to talk to you again.

—Uh, do you want me to pay you? or…

—Oh, no. I´m just making my classmate a favor, why would I take your money? I was talking about you going to my house, I just need to know when we´ll start.

—Oh, fine.

—When is the test?

—In three days.

—Okay then, so we are starting tommorrow.

—So soon?

—So soon.

Finally, after that chat, Y/n decided to give him her Line code to contact him and make sure he did know where her house was. She didn´t had nothing but that old pen in her hair, so she used that on his arm to write her code.

And now, he was outside Y/n´s home, in front of a huge garden were the only presence between both teenagers were two big and pretty scary dogs and a medium one.

So… what now? He asked himself. But after two seconds he remembered he had her line and he could contact her.

He inmediately told her he was out of her house, so he could go there and… protect him.

He just needed to send that little message. After two seconds, that girl went out there and calmed down the dogs, impressing the tall one… She looksed that she always was so calm that she could calm anyone down.

A relaxing aura.

—Hey— he said, trying to say hello somehow, and also a little jealous of her being so magnetic and relaxing for everyone, but he was pretty clad for being the center of her attention that afternoon.

That girl was dressed up with a long slided shirt extremely oversized and just shorts… and som sort of flip flops. Kageyama thought she was just as relaxed as her school self.

—Come here, they won't hurt you if you are not afraid of them— she said to him, while she was holding her biggest dogs collar with her hands completely flexed. Tobio noticed this, and he thought for a moment that dog could bring her down to the floor if he wanted to— Come on, Kageyama.

He didn't want to desobey her, so he just walked into the house. That house was as simple as her, it was warm, a family home. Apparently, his new teacher had a huge garden. A lovely one.

While he wasn't looking, she put the TV on.

—I should have imagined…— Kageyama complained, but Y/n heard that, so she continued the conversation.

—Don't tell me… or better do, what have you heard about me?

—That you never study, or stuff like that. You know what? I don't think this is not…

—I don't, at least not like they do… but I don't think you should go, King.

He turned around for a moment, looking at her with no mercy in his eyes.

—Don't call me that, never.

She smiled at him, and also invited him to sit with her.

—You can tell me about it… in english. And I'll give you my own tecniques.

Kageyama raised an eyebrow, what was she saying? She knew he did not like that name? Or was she joking? What was he hearing from her?

—Want to pass that exam, Kageyama? You don't need to think about you, just… thnk on your team. Come on, man. Come here.

He showed her a frown, as he was telling her not to try to convince him anymore.

But she just winked at him.

—In my experience, talking to someone will help you like three times a book can. Trust me.

—Why sould I?

—Because… oh! Yes, because you need to pass.

Kageyama frown at first. but he immediately sigh at Y/n, when she stared at him with a smile.

—Mine are not empty words. Let me hear what bothers you, what do you think, what did you do at practice today… tell me all those things. Watching movies is also a better idea to learn lenguages, did you know?

—How would I learn like that?

She smiled and patted the empty place next to her. He felt like he was losing some sort of competition, but he just obeyed her.

—I'm not going to judge you at all... I'm going to tell you some things about me. I think we could be pretty good friends— Y/n said, with a pretty wide smile.

—Why do you say that?

—I like you, you apparently don't like me but you still came, just because of your team.

He ended up telling her lots of things, eventually the movies where left to the end, because they were extremely concentrated on talking to each other. Y/n didn't allow him to speak japanesse that afternoon, so he had to learn a couple of things.

After that day, he opened his text book, and he got surprised because of understanding a little more than before... was she the solution? Was she a genius?

He went to school pretty confident when he had that test. Because he had been studying hard with Y/n all those days... it was awesome somehow, he didn't understand most of words at first... but then, structures and grammar just came to his head and he started to recognise some sort of... algorithms.

He finally did it. Kageyama passed.

—Look at this, Y/n! I did it great!— he showed his 78 out of 100 in his english test, super proud of it.

You smiled to him, with lots of simplicity in her eyes. He felt a little embarassed.

—What did I told you?

—I'm... I'm sorry for thinking about you as an asshole at first. Really.

—It's fine. No one thinks I'm serious. But don't say anything to the teachers, they could do bad things to me...

—Bad things?

—Or at least give me, I don't know, more difficult tests.

Kageyama nodded with shine in his eyes.

—Don't worry! Even if someone told them, you would ace those exams too!

Now, you were a little embarassed.