#my friends said these were cool so I’m putting them here although there’s issues with honey and Ira imo

[enbeemerang]

Some more work doodles

[clunelover]

I did talk to BFF about my sister and it was overall positive but kind of challenging emotionally. Part of the issue is that she’s like "oh I’ve let that all go now, I’m not mad at her at all" but like…she is and I can tell from how she talks about my sister when the topic comes up. She also is convinced that I feel like I’m in the mom role and therefore have to protect my sister…not quite! My sister puts me in the mom role and I hate it, more like! But she brought up the good point that part of the reason she doesn’t say things about her baby in the chat that includes my sister, is because I never talk about my kids in there either…and I was like "oh yeah, cause my sister’s replies are always sort of off and they bother me so then I stop." Like this time I shared a pic of E after they came back from their first ever basketball game that they went to with Girl Scouts, and they were all pumped and had been given a cool hat with the gay pride flag inside the outline of Wisconsin, and I said something about how they were all of a sudden SUPER into basketball, and my sister just said "lol." Hard to explain why that made me annoyed I guess but it did! lol.

Anyway I was all distraught after she left, just feeling bad about things with my family, because it feels like I have to accept things as they are (but I don’t want to!) or get proactive about trying to change things, meet people where they are, etc (resentful that everything is on me as per usual! I don’t think these people consider meeting me where *I* am!)

Anyway I was turning that over and thinking about what exactly to say to my sister (cause I think she misunderstood my "hey you should invite us over" message but also I shouldn’t have said it in the first place so I was going to send some sort of "hey never mind, I was being controlling and trying to manage your relationship, do whatever you want" message but the thought of what exactly I’d say had me VERY UPSET and then something dawned on me - why the f am I spending so much mental energy on my sister who, regardless of what she actually feels towards me or my kids, isn’t really emotionally available to be the kind of sister/aunt I wish for…I should instead be trying to nurture relationships that DO make me feel good (or…dare I say…forge new ones??)

So I set up a dinner with me and BFF and my other best friend for next weekend. If I can decide some likely dates I’m going to invite over a family who we were pretty close friends with before we moved to this house, try to reconnect with them a bit.

And I was mulling over how else adults create community and find friends, and then I picked E up from camp and they randomly said "I think there are four Jewish kids at my camp" and I asked how that came up/why it was on their mind…they said "I don’t know"…I guessed it was maybe because we have common Jewish last name and so people often assume we are Jewish (they said no, that wasn’t it), and THAT led us to a discussion of religion in families and I was saying how daddy and I both come from families where our parents were raised very religious and then they decided not to raise their kids that way, so my parents didn’t take me to church and daddy’s mom didn’t take him to temple, which is fine, although maybe we would have liked those things and we never got to know. And that made me realize, oh yeah, religious communities are one big way adults meet each other!

I shared all of this with Jeremy later and said for various reasons I’m not that interested in joining the UU church in town, but I’d be interested in checking out a Quaker meeting, and he said "whoa, I was just today reading a substack post by someone I like, about how they are an atheist but attend Quaker meetings, and I thought it sounded really great! Let’s do that!" SO all this to say, I think we’re going to try that tomorrow! Posting here partly for accountability so I actually do it.

[angelplummie]

Okay so like for starterssssss, I love getting represented as a chubby gal 🥺🥺 so I love you for writing that last Oikawa imagineeeee 😩😩😩

Soooo, I was wondering if I could request a plus size reader that really likes Kuroo, (and he’s like a super cliché bad boy🤰🏽) but he’s too embarrassed to be seen with Y/n. So she starts to hit on his friend or try to make him jealous. (I want you to add your own little idea here! But likeee, make her a baddie 😘😘)

Thanks baby 😚

HE’S A SCUMBAG DON’T YOU KNOW

KUROO X CHUBBY F!READER

Angsty?? kinda, a pinch of suggestive stuff

masterlist

post girlboss was referring to

a/n:i decided to go for emo / anger issues / definitely has punched a hole in his wall kuroo, just cuz i love writing losers, and i love seeing grown men cry. reader is like 20/21 just like college age yk, kuroo is 23 as stated in fic. p.s where my artic monkey hoes at

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex n specific sexual acts, suggestive stuff, uhhh bad boy but he’s not a (bad boy) he’s just a (bad) (boy) he’s just no good, like no fr never date guys like this, he may SEEM COOL and give you the dick but girl you will be so embarrassed once u realised u gave up the kitty for a man that genuinely believes tame impala and mac demarco are unheard of and calls himself an empath even though he’s mean to his mum every time she comes over to help with the laundry and has manipulated every girl he’s ever been in the vicinity of but i digress! on with the story!

“Kuroo-!” you yelped in surprised, bed bouncing beneath you. The second he had thrown you down, he ripped off his shirt and made a noise of frustration when he couldn’t shed his skinny jeans fast enough. Brows furrowed, he began hopping furiously to yank them off.

You laughed, much to his annoyance.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep up with that. What’s the rush?”

He sighed, and carefully pulled them off his ankles. Standing up straight, he seemed to have composed himself, with that cocky smirk on his rugged face. Your eyes trailed down his lean, long body. It was all you could do not to scream, he was so gorgeous. He took a few sweeping steps to where you lay, and got right on top of you, hands either side of your head. His eyes bore into you, it made you squirm internally, not that you would ever admit it.

“Just want you so bad, kitten.”

You barked out a laugh as if your heart didn’t jolt at his stupid pet name. It was such a stupid name, but coming from him it made you melt. Again, not like you’d ever admit it.

“Ew, Tetsu don’t call me kitten, it’s cr-“

He cut you off by leaning down and kissing you, you could feel his snake bites against your bottom lip. He groaned softly, shoving his tongue down your throat. He tasted like his sour apple vape, and his hair was soft when you ran your fingers through it. You could barely contain your butterflies, eyes squeezed closed.

“Come on babe, you know you like it.”

No matter how many times you and Kuroo hung out, it always felt so fresh. Maybe it was because he was exciting, or because he was a little bit wild, you didn’t know.

He leaned down closer to you, getting on his elbows, deepening the kiss. He pulled away and smirked at your breathlessness. With a slender, ring adorned hand, he reached beneath your top and cupped your tits over your bra. He gave them a sharp squeeze and started placing chaste kisses on your neck. He was considerate like that, didn’t leave hickeys because he knew they’d be hard to cover for you. He groaned as he jiggled the fat of your boobs in his hands,

“God, you have the nicest tits, babe.”

You had been dating for nearly 3 months now, if that was what it was. To be honest, you weren’t really sure what you were. You hang out all the time at his or your place, there was rarely a time when you didn’t have an ache between your legs, one way or another. He didn’t really take you on ‘dates’ but chatting to him was fun in itself, you didn’t need to go out to do that. He didn’t necessarily say romantic stuff either... but he didn’t not say romantic stuff either? He beat up your ex at a party one time! That had to mean something right? He exactly wouldn’t tell you how he felt but he showed you, kissing your cheek or tilting your chin up to look at him or kissing your neck or feeling you up. But that usually led to sex, so you couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t like you only screwed though, you watched your favourite movies together... although the last couple times he just started fingering you. You showed him your playlists? No no, he showed you his playlists, his sex playlists. There seemed to be a common theme here. But... there were times, afterwards, when he would pull in you so tight, tell you how good you were for him, how well you did, how pretty you looked. Any doubts you had were gone after a few hushed words on his tobacco reeking rickety old bed. You’d never really had a relationship like this before, but you assumed it was just because Kuroo was so chill. You were probably boyfriend and girlfriend, he just didn’t feel the need to announce it, he was laidback like that. So what if you guys had a lot of sex? Weren’t you a new couple? Wasn’t this just the honeymoon stage were you can’t get your hands off each other? You didn’t want to seem high maintenance and nag, so you let it be. He was sweet enough to you, right now everything was good.

Until it wasn’t.

A clatter sounded downstairs, the door slamming open against the hallway wall.

“Kuroo! Hey man, I brought some California!”, a voice called from bellow.

Kuroo broke away immediately, spit trailing from your neck to his pink lips.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Kuroo mumbled, pushing off the bed and scrambling the pick up his discarded clothes and shove them back on.

You sat up, disgruntled, rearranging your bra strap from were he’d kneaded at it.

“What’s wrong? Who is that?”

He shot you a glance before continuing to yank back on his jeans.

“Uh, so change of plan, I can’t do tonight. I need you to go home. Discreetly.”

What?

“What? Tetsu, I’m already here,” you scoffed.

What was going on?

Why was he acting like this?

You had never seen him so... frantic.

“I know babe, and I’m really sorry about that, but my friends are here early than I said.”

“So? Can’t I meet your friends?”

He didn’t reply for a moment, just let out an exasperated breath, zipping up his fly.

“Well, yeah you can meet them, just not with me. I don’t want them knowing that I-“

He cut himself off, but you had heard enough to understand.

There was a beat of silence, only disturbed by Kuroo’s friends calling for him.

Your mouth hung open, and you scoffed in shock.

You shouldn’t be surprised really. It’s so obvious now that you think about it. So that’s what this was. That explains everything. He didn’t really like you, he was just using you. That’s why he didn’t take you anywhere, or why he didn’t show you he cared. It was because he didn’t. He wasn’t “afraid of getting close to people” or “emotionally distant”, he was just upfront about not giving two shits about you aside from your vagina. I guess he didn’t want his friends to know he was furiously screwing a fat girl any chance he got. He was embarrassed of you. You were something to be ashamed of. Your stomach jerked as you got to your feet. You were pissed, but that didn’t mean it didn’t really hurt. You had liked him. A lot.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You could see the panic in his eyes, it was quite funny actually. Of course you new what it meant, but it still made you feel a little better to watch his eyes widen like that, to hold a shred of power over him.

“I mean- well I didn’t- come on babe you know I didn’t mean it like that-“ he laughed nervously, not noticing the footsteps in the landing. You rolled your eyes. You may have been naive, but you certainly weren’t going to fall for his shit again. Whatever he spouted.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Just say it, your embarrassed of me.”

“Y/N, please, don’t you think-“

Two men burst through the door, one with spiked grey hair and one with fluffy black hair.

“Kuroo! What the hell are you doing up here we’ve been-“ the grey haired one, stopped when his eyes went from a shirtless Kuroo to you.

Your eyes flickered to Kuroo, he looked mortified.

“Ah. I see. Well, Akaashi, we better give these two some time, we can just-“

“Oh no, I was just leaving,” you grabbed your jacket from on top of his chest of drawers and turned back to the two men, putting on a big smile, adrenaline and fury spurring you on.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.”

Your eyes shot to Kuroo, who looking like get was about to shit himself.

“You probably haven’t heard of me, me and Kuroo have actually been having sex for three months. He kept it a secret because he’s embarrassed of me. We should hang out soon though!”

“Y/N-!” Kuroo yelled, exasperation clear in his tone, but you were already descending the stairs.

He came into the hall, hands rubbing his temples.

“Y/N just come talk for a second, I can-“

But he was cut off by the door slamming.

You got in your car parked outside and sped away.

The whir of the engine and the monotony of the roads cleared your mind a bit, a mist of anger still remaining.

You can’t believe you let yourself be tricked. you were a fully grown woman, but you had been reeled in hook, line and sinker. Not only had you been reeled in, you have been reeled in by a man that still had tik tok LED lights in his room and a fucking monster can collection at the age of 24 fucking years old. The more you thought about him, the more you realised how much of an emo loser he was. Of course you were still hurting, but it was more of the angry hurt you feel when it turns out your crush is homophobic or something (been there done that, don’t ask). He was a waste of oxygen, you had decided by the time you made it back to your apartment. A waste of perfectly good space that could most definitely not get the kitty anymore. You got inside your house, pulled on some comfies and got on facetime with your friends.You told them all about what happened, and they passionately bitched about him with you, confirming your suspicion that they never liked him in the first place. They also told you to forget about his existence, he wasn’t worth a slither of your brain power, he was dirt compared to you. All in all, you felt marginally better, saying goodbye to your friends while they still giggled about how stupid Kuroo’s hair was.

This was just a speed bump, you thought as you tucked yourself into bed, you would get over this.

Fast.

“Who’s Bokuto been talking to all night?” Yamamoto leaned over to ask Lev, shouting over the blaring music.

It was a week after you had thrown Kuroo to the curb, and he was out with a couple of volleyball friends, some from Nekoma, but there was also Bokuto with them.

“I’m not sure. I think it’s Y/N something? She’s in class. She’s pretty chill.”

Kuroo’s ears perked up, and he turned around to face his friends up against the bar.

“Bokuto’s talking to who?” he said through gritted teeth.

“Y/N. She goes to my-“

“I know who Y/N is,” kuroo snapped, taking a swig of the beer in his hand and scanning the dance floor for either one of you. He found bokuto first, shoulder against the wall, holding a drink as he leant down to have you whisper something in his ear. That’s when Kuroo paid attention to you. You looked... you looked gorgeous. He felt jealousy creep up inside him. How many times had you been out looking like that since you broke things off? How many guys had you slept with since? How dare Bokuto chat you up when he knew you two had been a thing? Wasn’t he meant to be Kuroo’s friend? As Kuroo wound himself up, you and bokuto continued your extremely pleasant conversation.

“I just wanna say, sorry about Kuroo. He’s a real bonehead, but we’ve been friends since high school so I can’t ditch him.”

You snorted into your cocktail.

“What?”

“Bonehead?”

He frowned and straightened up indignantly.

“Yeah, and? What’s wrong with bonehead?”

“No no, nothing, it’s just very Legally Blonde.”

He beamed down at you.

“I love Legally Blonde!”

“You do? Me too!”

This big beefy man was very cute, you had been talking for nearly three hours now, but you never ran out of things to say. And, aside from the obligatory introduction compliments, he had not made any move to try and get you into a wendy’s bathroom as quick as possible, which you couldn’t say of yours and kuroo’s first meeting.

He had dreamy eyes, you noted as he smiled for the nth time that night.

“Whose your favourite-?”

“What the fuck are you doing man?”

You glanced scathingly over to the familiar face of your old fling.

“What?” Bokuto asked back, clearly done with his friends bad boy shtick.

“Why are you talking to her when... when you know?”

“What’s there to know? I’m talking to her because I want to, and she wants to.”

He looked over to you for approval.

“Right?”

You nodded, a little nervous. You hated Kuroo’s guts, but you knew how weirdly possessive he was, you didn’t wanna cause trouble for Bokuto.

“See? Now I don’t think she wants to see you, right?”

He looked at you again. You nodded again.

“Ok? You guys are over, now are we done?”

Kuroo huffed. His eyes flitted from Bokuto to you, remembering you were there most likely, and he scowled.

“No, we aren’t done, what are you trying to pull anyway? Trying to piss me off by talking to someone I know? Are you really that petty? Well, your little plan is working, so just-just stop, ok?”

You felt like screaming. You had just come out here to have a nice time, not listen to Kuroo’s narcissistic whining.

“Can you just fuck off? Was I not clear enough or something? You’re dead to me, Kuroo. I’m just trying to have a nice night.”

Kuroo’s mouth gaped open. He had never been spoken to like that, never. He clenched his fists at his sides and his glare intensified.

“You’re lucky I gave you the time of day, fat ugly slut.”

He grabbed Bokuto’s shoulder roughly, turning him to face him completely.

“Hey man, thanks for clearing up my sloppy seconds, really good of you. Good to know I’ve got great friends like you.”

Those were the last things out of Kuroo’s mouth before bokuto landed a punch on his cheek, knocking him to the ground.

“You’re a fucking asshole man,” Bokuto grunted.

He stepped over where Kuroo lay, and held out a hand for you to step over too. You took it quietly and trailed along behind him to the door, fingers still locked. His hands were warm, and big. Kuroo’s face must hurt right now. The thought made you smile. He held the door open for you before sighing, resting his back against the wall. You stood in front of him, twiddling with your fingers.

“I am so sorry about that,” You apologised, embarrassed and shaken by the scene Kuroo had made, “I shouldn’t have wound him up, and I shouldn’t have talked to you after I knew you guys were friends, I promise I didn’t mean to start anything.”

“Don’t be, if anything I’m sorry for not making him leave right away. And either way,” he gently reached for your hand again, and you let him take it,”I’m glad you talked to me. I’d like it if you talked to me even more.”

DISCLAIMER FOR KUROO STANS!!!! I DONT THINK HIS HAIR IS STUPID!!! it’s just when ur bestie is going thru a break up or anything entailing a male you shit talk everything about him to high hell, doesn’t matter if he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. also i have no ill will towards kuroo nor any of the characters i write shit bag fan fics about i just like to complain any way i hope you enjoyed! reblogs and replies always appreciated!!!

[uvobreakmylegs]

Detour

I’m excited that it’s fall but i’m also sad that i won’t be able to swim anymore

Warnings: death, graphic depictions of violence, creepy behavior, groping, mentions of smut, kidnapping

The two guys at the gas station check out counter had been there when Phinks had first walked through the sliding glass doors, and they were still there when he approached the check out himself, having only dropped in to grab another pack of beer. The gas station clerk seemed annoyed while the two guys were pulling their pockets inside out, evidently in search of any spare change that may have been hiding on their persons. There was a sad pile of jenny and some change sitting in front of the clerk while she waited for them impatiently, and she seemed ready to push all of the money back towards them as it became more and more likely that these two didn't have enough cash for the assortment of alcohol and junk food that also sat on the counter.

Any other time Phinks would've been annoyed by the situation. But seeing as he didn't have anywhere to be, he found that he didn't really care all that much. The troupe likely wouldn't meet back up for some time which left his schedule quite open, and he had found it difficult to find something to occupy his time with while he waited for the boss to bring everyone together again.

Phinks had decided that a road trip was a decent way to pass the time. It was something he'd never really done before and so far it was easing his boredom as he had hoped it would. There was no real time limit he had set on himself or any destination that he had in mind. He'd just keep doing whatever he felt like until the novelty of the trip wore off and then go home.

“Would you like to take a few items off?”

The tired voice of the clerk cut through his thoughts, and Phinks found that there had been no progress with the two in front of him.

“No no, we need all of it,” one of the men, a redhead, insisted, “we just, uh....”

Trailing off, the man glanced over to Phinks, who was still waiting with his single pack of beer. Then the man looked over to his companion and then back to the items on the counter.

Phinks could already sense what the man was going to ask of him before he spoke out.

“Hey man,” the guy said to Phinks, “I know it sounds bad, but do you think you could spot me on this? I'm bringing this stuff back for my party. We ran out of some stuff way quicker than we expected. Can't let people down, y'know?”

The redhead started telling him how much more they needed until the clerk interrupted him to tell him off for harassing other customers for money. A mini argument started between the two, with the man insisting that he wasn't harassing anyone and the clerk disagreeing with him. The man's friend joined in shortly after and it was quickly turning into a mess.

What obnoxious fucking people.

If he was in more of a bad mood he'd have probably snapped the necks of all of them. The presence of cameras stopped him from doing that, however, as it would just be too much of a pain to go to the back and destroy the footage after. Still, even though he didn't have anywhere to be, it didn't mean that he wanted to waste his time listening to people bicker. The easiest way out of this was to just give them the jenny so they'd all shut up.

After pulling out his wallet, Phinks slid the jenny across the counter.

That shut the three of them up, and the two men were quick to express their gratitude while the clerk just looked tired.

“Thank you so, so much, man,” the redhead continued after they collected their bagged items.

“Mm-hm.”

Phinks was only half-paying attention to him as he waited for the clerk to scan the beer so he could hand her the jenny owed. That transaction went much quicker and Phinks was soon making his way to the exit.

The two men seemed to be waiting on him, though.

“Hey, since you helped us out, you wanna come to my party?” the redhead asked.

Normally his automatic response would've been to give him a flat “no”. But in this instance Phinks just shrugged.

That seemed to give the redhead hope, and he began listing the reasons why Phinks should follow them back, like his “cool house”, hot women and great beer.

Given the especially cheap brand of beer Phinks had largely paid for, he had a hard time believing that last point. He also wasn't quite sure why this guy was so insistent on getting him to come along. Was it really just because Phinks had bothered to help them out?

“Name's Stu by the way. Back there is Billy,” the redhead told him, sticking out his arm to shake hands. When Phinks didn't do the same, Stu seemed a bit dejected, yet even that didn't make him back down from inviting Phinks.

“So how 'bout it, man? You wanna come?”

“.... I'll think about it,” he told him.

“Okay, but do it fast man. My place isn't that far from here.”

Phinks nodded, and Stu ran off to the car where his friend was waiting. The other guy didn't seem as keen on Phinks as the redhead had, regarding the blonde with suspicion. Phinks could hear him saying something as the two entered the car. Stu seemed to brush him off, and then their car doors closed and Phinks couldn't hear anything else.

The two ended up pulling out of the parking lot before he did, and Phinks found himself following them as they all made the same turn onto the highway.

He still had no real urge to go to some random guy's party, especially when he found him to be pretty annoying. And if it was a party filled with the friends of someone like that, he'd probably get irritated with all of them pretty quick. Better to just ignore them and be on his way.

Although the thought of just driving aimlessly through the night wasn't all that attractive, either. He'd done that several times now, and the feeling of being the only person in the world while he drove on the empty highway had lost its touch by now.

The car in front of him veered off the highway to get onto a side road.

After a few seconds, Phinks did the same, just thinking to himself 'why not?'. It would be something different, a little detour on a trip that was meant to be a distraction, and if it ended up being something that he didn't want to bother with, then he could just leave.

Although the noise level in the house wasn't quiet, it was nowhere near ear-shatteringly loud as Phinks may have expected. At least it had that in it's favor. Other than that, it was a stereotypical frat house party, with everyone talking and drinking as they got more and more shitfaced.

The two who brought him here vanished into the kitchen, and Phinks began to make his way around the house, sipping one of the cans of beer he had bought for himself since he had no interest in the shit the host had him pay for. A girl in one of the upstairs rooms noticed the beer in his hand and begged him to share with her, even going as far as to tug on the sleeve of his jacket when he told her no. He ended up pushing her away, and though he had tried to use as little force as possible, his strength combined with her tipsiness caused her to stumble back into a wall. She was still whining about him when he walked back down the stairs, going on about how mean he was.

He thought he'd been pretty nice to her, all things considered.

It didn't take long for Phinks to lose interest in this particular distraction. Not that he'd been expecting much, but after going around the house and not even seeing anything that might be worth stealing, he figured it'd be best to leave soon. With his short temper being one of his vices, he didn't want to deal with what would happen if some drunk got on his nerves and he smashed them into the wall.

With the sights, sounds and smells became grating to him and seeing no reason to stay any longer, Phinks went about trying to find an exit. Attempting to get out the same way he came in was put to a stop when he saw how congested the front entrance had become. He could've easily pushed past all of them, but since that would likely draw a fair amount of attention, maybe it'd be a better idea to find a different way out. Phinks wandered into the kitchen, walking by Stu who tried to talk to him. A patio door leading to the backyard caught his eye and he ignored the party's host as he walked by several people to get to it.

The cool air outside felt refreshing and he let out a soft sigh as the patio door slowly swung closed. Claustrophobia generally wasn't something he had an issue with, but that seemed to change a little when he was faced with a house full of drunken strangers who didn't understand the meaning of personal space. Another nice thing was the fact that no one else seemed to be out here. He didn't think it was that cold out, but it worked just fine if the people inside thought otherwise.

He stood on a deck with an assortment of patio furniture that sat in front of an in ground pool, and when he looked to the side, he saw the gate within the fencing that surrounded the backyard.

That was his way out, then.

With no more reason to stick around, he was about to head out and back to his car-

But he paused when he heard the sound of splashing water, and he looked back to the pool.

So he wasn't the only person out here.

Some of the patio furniture had blocked you from his sight so he hadn't noticed you at first, but you were now swimming out into the center of the pool and impossible to miss. It was pretty late in the year for swimming, wasn't it? Yet you seemed to be content with yourself despite the temperature and lack of company, swimming around the pool like you owned it. Maybe you did; he wasn't sure what your relation was to the party host.

Then your eyes met, and you smiled as you greeted him.

“Hello.”

“... Hey.”

He hadn't come out to look for company. He was looking to leave.

Yet something about this situation, about you, intrigued him, and Phinks walked forward, continuing with “isn't it a little late in the season for swimming?”

“That's what everyone seems to think,” you said, “it's going to be drained tomorrow, so I wanted to swim one more time before that. It's the last chance I'll get for this year.”

“No public pools around here?” he asked.

“I don't really like public pools,” you told him, laughing a little bit as you continued “the ones around here are never clean, and I don't wanna swim around in nasty water.”

Phinks couldn't say if he really had an opinion one way or the other. He tried to avoid situations where he'd need to be shirtless in public, as the spider with the number 5 on his ribs would've been a dead giveaway for anyone who understood it's meaning. He just shrugged at you as he said “fair enough.”

Phinks now stood at the edge of the pool while you swam up to the edge.

“I don't think I've seen you before. You new around here?” you asked him.

“No. Just passing through. Helped out the host at the gas station and he invited me as thanks,” Phinks explained, “I was expecting this to be taking place at some shitty apartment; didn't think a guy like that owned a house.”

“He doesn't, it belongs to his older brother Jed. Stu just lives with him,” you responded.

“Ah.”

That made a bit more sense to him. Since he hadn't been able to buy beer from a gas station on his own, it didn't seem likely that the guy would've had his own house. So he was just leeching off of his brother.

Despite being ready to leave just minutes earlier, he found that he now had a reason to want to stay here longer. But standing and talking to you was getting a little awkward, so Phinks sat himself down on the concrete next to the pool. So far you weren't annoying compared to some of the others. And despite being by yourself beforehand, you seemed pretty open to talking with him, resting your arms on the edge of the pool.

“You friends with them, then?”

“Jed is in a few of my classes, so I'm friends with him. Not Stu, though. He's kind of an asshole. Likes to play a lot of stupid pranks.”

You rested your chin in your hand as you thought back.

“He's destroyed two of my phones so far, both times by dumping water on me,” you said, “although I guess he did repay me for both, but it's still such a hassle to go through.”

“You're nicer than I am. If some guy like that fucked up my phone I'd kill him.”

You laughed at him, not taking his words seriously.

“You seem nice enough. You helped him out, right?”

“Only because it was the fastest way to get outta there. Stupid bastard started an argument with the clerk.”

“Yeah. That sounds like something he'd do,” you said, tiredness lacing your voice.

A cheer then sounded from inside the house, and though the doors and windows were closed, it was loud enough that the both of you could hear it from outside.

“Things must be ramping up in there,” you commented.

“Guess so,” Phinks said, taking a swig of his drink after.

“Isn't it kinda weird that you're keeping to yourself with an event like this? Don't see the point in going out if you're going to avoid people,” he added.

“But isn't that what you're doing by coming out here?” you asked.

“Nah, I was getting ready to leave.”

“What stopped you?”

“I haven't done much out here beside sitting here talking to you. What do you think?”

You seemed a bit taken aback and a little embarrassed as you realized the reason, but gave him a small smile.

“Oh wow. Are you saying I managed to be charming enough to keep a guy from leaving?” you asked him.

“No. You're just not as annoying as the others I've met tonight.”

Your expression was rather blank as you took in that information.

“..... I'll take that as a compliment, then,” you said, “so what do you do?”

“What do I do?”

“For a job, or just anything in general.”

“I do a couple odd jobs here and there, I guess,” he answered, “every once in a while a bigger opportunity comes up, and I just do whatever I need to.”

It was an oversimplification of his criminal activities, and he hoped that he'd been vague enough without sounding suspicious.

It appeared that he had as you didn't seem to think it was strange.

“You mentioned earlier that you were just passing through. Are you on your way to a job or something?”

“Nah. I'm currently off-duty. And I had a lot of time to kill, so I decided to take a road trip.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” you said, “I work on campus, so I don't really get to do vacations for now. Can't remember the last time I went on one.”

“Job at least worth it?”

“Kind of? Although the other week I needed to go through something stupid.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I got screamed at by a lady.”

Your tone made it seem like that was something happened on a regular basis.

“For what?” he asked.

“Something with her daughter's textbooks. She ordered one that she didn't need on accident but didn't want to admit that she made a mistake, so she just let her mother yell at me for forty minutes and claim that we were the ones who fucked up.”

You sighed a little after the explanation. Evidently that situation still made you frustrated.

“.... Did she apologize after?” Phinks asked.

With a slightly wistful smile, you shook your head as you said “people like that don't apologize.”

“Sounds rough.”

It went without saying that Phinks wouldn't have tolerated anything like that. If it had been him he'd have killed them both and tossed their bodies in the trash. But he kept that rather violent thought to himself.

“Sorry you needed to deal with that,” he added.

“It's okay. It's little things that keep you going,” you said, “I've been looking forward to swimming for a while, so I'm pretty happy right now. Although I guess I'm kinda doing a job right now.”

“How so?”

“Jed's at his job right now, and since he doesn't trust Stu, he asked me to make sure nothing happens to the pool. The last time Stu had a party there was a bunch of trash in it the next morning, and it was a pain to clean up. So in exchange for using the pool, I have full permission to snitch on anyone who tosses anything.”

“Yeah? What's snitching gonna do?”

“Jed's a scary guy. Nobody wants to make him mad.”

If Phinks had felt like being more of an asshole, and if you'd been unpleasant during your conversation with him, he probably would've taken his half-finished beer can and thrown it into the pool just to upset you and also to see if your friend was as scary as you were making him out to be.

But so far he'd been enjoying himself, so as fun as that thought might have been, he decided against it.

You pulled one of your arms off of the rim and back into the water. Evidently you were getting cold, but you held on to the edge to continue speaking to him.

“So how long have you been on your trip?” you asked.

“A few weeks.”

“A few weeks? You must have been all over the place, then. Did you go anywhere in particular?”

“Not really,” Phinks answered, “didn't have any real plan when I set out. Just drove to wherever I thought would be interesting.”

“That's kinda cool,” you said, “must be nice to be able to go wherever you want without any real plan.”

“You can't?”

“Nope. Classes and work means I can't just run off whenever I feel like it.”

“Too busy getting screamed at?” he asked jokingly.

“Yeah, something like that,” you answered, laughing a little after.

You pulled your other arm back underwater and just kept a hand on the side of the wall.

“Cold?” he asked.

“A little.”

“Probably why most people aren't swimming this late.”

“I don't care; it's worth it,” you said, “honestly, the thought of being able to swim was what kept me going this week.”

That.... Was a little bit sad, Phinks thought to himself. That all you had to look forward to at the end of the week was a few hours to swim by yourself in the cold. There were much sadder circumstances in the world – he was certain that anyone from Meteor City would be more than happy to switch places with you – but your life must have felt empty. Although Phinks was technically in the same boat at the moment, at least being with the troupe gave him purpose. What did you have besides a shitty job and presumably a fair amount of college debt? Just the 'little things' to keep you going?

Maybe he was presuming too much; he'd only just met you after all. But it bothered him regardless.

“What are your plans for after college?” he asked.

You seemed a bit startled, and you looked away from him for the first time.

“Not really sure, actually. I'm still undecided on my major,” you admitted, “I need to figure out soon, though. I'm going to run out of the basic coursework that I need to get through, and my family is getting mad that I haven't made a decision yet.”

So you didn't have any direction and were being pressured by others. Still not the saddest circumstance ever, but if it had been him, Phinks was certain he'd have been miserable.

You clearly didn't want to keep going on about that particular subject, as you began to ask him questions about his trip, wanting to know where exactly he had been so far and how much longer he planned to drive for. The change in topics was obvious, but he decided to go along with it.

As the night grew darker while the two of you talked, he decided that he liked you. You could hold a decent conversation, even if the things you two talked about weren't all that meaningful.

You were pretty cute, too.

The party behind him still seemed to be going strong, but it was largely going ignored by you both, in part by the fact that you were still the only ones outside.

Your face lit up as a thought came to mind.

“You should come in!” you told him.

“No thanks.”

“Come on! It's really nice!”

You grabbed at his free hand, tugging on his arm lightly as you tried to encourage him to get into the pool.

“If you get my suit wet I'll drown you,” Phinks said told you.

You giggled, once more not taking him seriously. Though he was only half-serious about it at this point.

“Then take it off and come in,” you insisted.

“I don't have a swimsuit.”

“That doesn't stop most people.

“Good to know,” he said flatly.

Though you'd stopped tugging on his arm, both of your hands remained on his wrist as you looked up at him.

“Can you not swim?” you asked.

“I can swim fine,” he said, “I just don't feel like it right now.”

You seemed a bit disappointed, but you had yet to let go of his wrist.

“Should you really be that surprised with the temperature being what it is?” he asked you.

“It isn't that bad. And the pool is heated,” you insisted, “didn't think a bit of chill would scare off the most interesting person at this party, though.”

The corner of his lips curled a bit at that. He wasn't one for meaningless flattery, but he didn't mind hearing you say things like that.

“Is that why you're not letting go of me?”

“You don't seem to be doing much to shake me off.”

“I could if I wanted to.”

“So you don't want to?”

You were teasing him. And while he could tease you back, he went for a different approach.

He yanked his wrist out of your grip and grabbed your own wrist just as fast, and lifted you up until you were eye level with him. To say you were flustered by the action would've been an understatement, and your free hand grasped at the arm that held you up to lessen the weight on the arm that he had trapped.

With you partially out of the water, Phinks allowed his eyes to travel over your form, following the trails of water that dripped down your skin and imagining exactly what you looked like under that swimsuit. His grin got wider when he saw your body reacting to the cooler temperature and the way your nipples showed through the material. It hadn't been on his mind when he first approached you, but after spending time with you he found himself liking the idea of fooling around with you. Probably not in the house, and he doubted you would want to do anything in the pool due to that friend of yours you had mentioned. Maybe there was some dark corner around here where he could take you to do what he wanted.

You were squirming a little, trying to free yourself from his grip.

“It's cold,” you whined.

“Yep,” was his reply.

“Come on, let go. I'm only in a swimsuit.”

“You weren't letting me go,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but I didn't pull you into the water.”

“Because you're too weak to do that.”

“That's not fair!”

“Don't think this is a situation where fairness matters, sweetheart.”

With that he let you go, and you dropped back down into the pool. You pushed away from the wall after, giving him a slightly sour look.

“Problem?” he asked.

“It's cold,” you repeated.

He just smirked.

“You're gonna need to deal with it at some point,” he told you.

“Yeah, but I wasn't ready for it then!”

You had to have noticed the way he looked at you, right? There was no way you were so oblivious to have not seen how he had blatantly looked you over. Yet you weren't mentioning it.

By now you were more at the center of the pool, pointedly out of his range.

“You done talking?” Phinks asked.

“No, but I don't want you pulling me out again.”

Then you looked away like you were embarrassed.

It clicked for him. You must have liked it, but you were too shy to say anything about it.

Your reluctance was cute, though Phinks knew he'd get tired of that game pretty fast.

“Come back over,” he told you.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

You shook your head.

“You're going to do that again, right?” you asked.

“Maybe.”

“Then no. I don't wanna get out yet.”

“How long are you gonna stay in there?”

“Until I feel like getting out.”

“And if I want you out of there now?”

“Then you'd have to come in and get me.”

…. Oh

That's what it was.

A ploy by you to get him into the pool.

That's what you had to mean by those words, right?

“.... What the hell,” he said to himself as he stood.

It got your attention when he began to remove his clothing, throwing them over to a few neatly folded articles of clothing that sat next to a bag on the patio, which he assumed belonged to you. You were watching him closely, and he could sense a growing interest in you when he removed his shirt. Your eyes lingered a little when you caught sight of his spider tattoo, but there was no hint that you recognized what it meant, which was preferable.

“Enjoying the show?” he asked.

“You were looking at me earlier,” you answered defensively, “you're not allowed to get mad when I do the same.”

“Didn't say I was mad.”

You acknowledging the way he had looked at you then just reaffirmed in his head that you hadn't minded, and after stripping down to his boxers, Phinks jumped in. The water felt just as nice as you had said, but he didn't take much time to focus on it as he was quick to approach you. Within moments, he had wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close, lifting you a little so you were at eye level with him. You seemed flustered again, but you didn't make any move to get away, and were resting your hands on his chest.

“I don't think you told me your name,” you whispered to him.

“Phinks.”

“Phinks,” you repeated, smiling afterwards, “I like it. It's cool.”

“Thanks,” he replied, “and how 'bout you?”

You gave him your name, which he also repeated to himself.

“Not as cool as 'Phinks', I guess,” you said.

“It suits you,” he said.

You smiled at him, then shifted slightly in his grip.

“Are you just gonna keep holding me?”

“You said I needed to come in and get you.”

“And what did you want to 'get' me for?”

Despite the question, you clearly had an idea of what Phinks was after as you began to move in closer to him. Phinks did the same, and slowly, the gap between the two of you was closed as your lips met together in a kiss.

With the heavy scent of pool chemicals that surrounded you two, it was hard to smell much else, but your lips were soft against his. The kiss was a bit tame for his liking, but he let you do what you wanted for now as you readjusted your arms so they were wrapped around his neck.

One of his hands slid down your back to reach down and squeeze your ass, and you gasped into the kiss. He slipped his tongue into your mouth for a brief moment before you pulled away, your hand over your mouth as you looked away in embarrassment.

“I'm not sure we should do much more here,” you said, glancing up at the house behind him, “there are people watching. I'm not into that.”

“Where do you wanna go?” he asked. It didn't surprise him much that you two might have attracted an audience, and when he heard the door to the patio open from behind him, he chose to ignore it.

“I don't think we'll get much privacy here, so how about my place?” you asked.

“Do you usually bring home strangers?”

“Only the really cool ones.”

He grinned.

You were leaning in to kiss him again when you suddenly froze and turned your attention to something behind Phinks.

“Don't do that!” you yelled.

Phinks turned his head just in time to see his and your clothes land in the water, with the guy who'd invited him – Stu, he remembered – pointing and laughing after having thrown them. The annoying woman from earlier, the one who had whined at him for his can of beer, was also there, standing behind Stu and running off with him towards the gate in the fence.

Phinks saw red.

He let you go and swiftly exited the pool, following after the two even as the chill of the night air nipped at his skin. He barely felt it, and he didn't give a shit that he was running around barefoot either. All of his focus was on catching up to those two assholes who'd dumped his clothes in the pool.

He was angry enough that he didn't notice the sound of feet following after him.

The two perpetrators were in an alleyway between two rows of houses, drunkenly laughing their asses off. Their demeanor didn't change when Phinks caught up to them. The woman actually began to laugh harder, probably because Phinks was still wearing only his boxers.

Stu was trying to contain himself a bit, and put his hands up as an offering of peace.

“Hey man, it wasn't anything personal. Just a prank,” he said, “you can use the dryer, and I'll lend you some clothes-”

His sentence was cut off when Phinks grabbed both sides of his head and twisted it completely around, the cracking of his broken neck ringing out in the empty alley.

The sight of Stu falling to the ground with his head facing the wrong way had the woman instantly sober up, and she looked to Phinks as she opened her mouth to scream.

Barely a whisper of sound was able to escape as he did the same thing to her, and now Phinks was standing half-naked in an alley with two dead bodies.

“Obnoxious fucking people,” he muttered to himself.

Then there was noise that came from behind him.

Phinks turned and saw the other guy who'd been at the gas station on the ground, his arms barely supporting himself as his eyes were wide at the sight of his friends dead before him.

His eyes widened even further when he spotted the spider on Phinks' ribs, clearly recognizing what it meant as he whispered “oh my god.”

Make that three bodies, Phinks thought to himself as he rushed forward to snap his neck as well.

Three bodies that he needed to get rid of. If anyone else from the party came out here and found them, the police would be called immediately. He had no intentions of staying here any longer, but it'd be best to put a bit of distance between himself and the crime scene before the police were inevitably called.

He was dragging the other guy by his ankles and in the process of collecting the woman's body when someone walked out into the alley through one of the other entrances. An older woman, who was definitely not from the party and had come from another house, carrying a bag of trash walked out in front of Phinks, and like the guy right before, her eyes grew wide as she saw the sight of the dead before her.

She made a move to run back to her house, but Phinks picked up a pebble that he infused with nen and launched it at her head. It traveled through her skull and the fencing beside her, and blood sprayed out from the exit wound and splattered onto the fence as well as she fell to the ground.

This was turning into a goddamn mess, and after Phinks had thrown now four bodies over into a different backyard, he heard a voice calling out “mom?” from the direction that the woman with the trash bag had come from.

Fuck this. He needed to go.

When he returned to the backyard to retrieve his clothes, he found you on the patio. You were holding his jacket over the concrete, desperately trying to wring out the water that had soaked it completely. You were visibly shivering as you did so, with goosebumps running up your arms and your teeth chattering. He noticed his pants hanging off the fence that surrounded the patio, and while they weren't dry by any means, you had clearly done your best to get the water out of them. Meanwhile your own clothes laid in a soggy heap by your equally soaked bag.

You noticed him when he walked closer.

“I'm sorry,” you told him. You looked guilty for some reason.

“You didn't do it,” Phinks said, considerably calmer now.

“No. But I made a big deal about you getting in with me, and with Stu around I should've been paying attention. I'm really, really sorry.”

He was about to tell you to stop apologizing when he heard a shout coming from the direction of the alleyway.

Fuck. He forgot that he needed to leave.

Luckily you were the only one who noticed, as the rest of the party goers still had the doors and windows securely shut. He pulled on his pants and his sopping wet tank top, and the sensation of wearing those wet clothes was just as unpleasant as he had anticipated. At least his shoes were still dry.

You were still holding his jacket, looking confused as you looked off in the direction where you'd heard that voice. Phinks was about to just take it from you and leave, but when he looked you over again, he thought over the things you two had talked about, the things you had said and how you'd acted around him, and he came to a split second decision.

Grabbing your clothes and bag, he shoved them into your hands before he grabbed one of your arms and pulled you after him. You seemed startled, but you didn't question him as you were too surprised to think of anything to say. He led you out through the backyard and down to where he had parked his car, opening the passenger side door and pushing you inside. He then walked around to the driver's side, and within moments you both were speeding out of the neighborhood.

By the time he came to the highway there was a strong smell of pool chemicals that filled the car, and both of the front seats were slowly soaking up the excess water that dripped off of the two of you.

You seemed to be in a mild state of shock, as you had yet to say anything. You just sat in your still wet swimsuit looking rather confused while you still held onto the soaked clothing Phinks had forced onto you.

After a while you shuddered and finally spoke up.

“Do you think you could turn up the heat?” you asked him.

“Oh. Sure. Sorry.”

Phinks turned the heat up all the way, and after a few moments you seemed to relax a bit, though now you were glancing over at him while smiling nervously.

“Uh, so, there's a lot that I should probably be questioning,” you began, “but I'll start with if you knew why there was yelling?”

Should he lie? No, that might be weird if he pretended not to know.

“I punched that guy in the face. I think I broke his nose,” he told you, “that was likely his friend after he saw him.”

“Ah. Okay,” you said, “that's..... Not very good, but I think I get why you did that. You're gonna get charged with assault, though.”

Fat chance.

“I'll deal with that when I come to that,” he answered, “sorry if I put you in a tough position.”

“It's okay. Well, not really. But Stu's pranks have always been pretty bad and what he did was shitty, so I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Think you can forgive me?”

“... Yeah, I think so. Just promise you won't do anything like that again.”

“I promise.”

“Okay,” you said as you nodded, “so second question: where are we going?”

“.... Not sure. Didn't have much of a plan besides getting out of there and going back to what I was doing,” Phinks admitted.

“So you're just back to driving around going wherever?”

“Seems like it.”

“Why did you bring me along?” you asked.

“.... Didn't want that to be the last time I saw you,” he said.

“Oh.....”

His answer ended up making you flustered again, and while you did seem to be holding some reservations about him with his admission of violence and the fact that he really had just kidnapped you, he could see you rationalizing everything in your mind and convincing yourself that this wasn't all that bad.

It was preferable if you did that. It made taking you with him a lot easier.

“Luckily for me I don't work tomorrow,” you said, “and since the day after that is Sunday and the campus store isn't open then, I also have that day off. So I think it's okay if I drive around with you for a bit. Just get me back by Sunday night, alright?”

“Don't worry. I'll get you back safe and sound,” he told you, and you visibly relaxed at his words.

You were a little naive, a little too trusting. But that was fine. Phinks liked that about you.

“Okay so third question,” you announced as you looked down at the wet clothes in your lap, “what should we do about this?”

“Right. Let me pull over.”

He stopped the car beneath a streetlight, and you sat sideways on the passengers seat while you held the clothes out of the car and wrung the water out of them as best you could. Phinks took the opportunity to change after you handed him his jacket, and he threw the mostly damp clothes in the backseat.

Glancing over at you, he did appreciate how much your swimsuit showed off while you tried to dry out your own clothes. But while he liked the idea of you staying as you were for the rest of the trip, you probably wouldn't be as big of a fan of that. Going over to his trunk once more, he dug around through his bag before he found what he was looking for.

“I don't have anything that will fit you well,” Phinks said as he made his way over to you, “but this should cover you up.”

What he handed you was the long white robe he wore on occasion, usually for combat or missions.

You seemed a bit surprised when you saw it, but you accepted it gratefully. Your gaze went to the jeweled eye that hung near the neck of the garment, and he heard you mumble about it being pretty.

He wondered briefly what you might think of the snake headpiece he usually wore with it, but the time for that would come later as you were currently slipping his robe over your head.

“Thank you,” you told him again as you threw your clothing in the back as well.

Then your attention went to your bag, and you frowned.

“What's wrong?”

In response to his question, you tilted your bag to the side and water began to pour out of it.

“Ah.”

“How much do you wanna bet that my phone is dead?” you asked as you reached inside.

As was expected, your phone screen stayed black when you hit the power button, and you sighed.

“And that's phone number three that Stu has destroyed.”

“Don't worry. It won't happen again,” he told you.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

You tossed the now useless phone into your bag and looked back up to him as if to say “so what now?”

Phinks had an idea for that.

“Wanna go to a motel?”

“A motel? Wow, you sure know how to treat someone,” you said sarcastically.

“You really think I can get you into a nice hotel with you looking like that? You don't even have shoes,” he said.

“I didn't get a chance to grab them,” you responded, though you seemed to concede a bit.

“Could we stop somewhere tomorrow so I can get shoes or something?”

“I'll buy you a whole new wardrobe if that's what you want.”

You laughed at that, shaking your head and saying that you didn't need that.

Before too long, Phinks was back in the drivers seat while you watched the streetlights as the car passed them by, your fingers idly playing with the jewel on his robes as you did so. He had turned down the heat and turned on the radio, and though it still felt strange to be sitting in the wet seats, it wasn't bothering either of you as much anymore. The smell from the pool was mostly gone after driving a bit with the windows opened just a crack.

Except for the occasional car that drove in the opposite direction, you were the only ones on the highway.

“How far are you gonna drive?” you eventually asked.

He wanted to get out of the state at least. Phinks didn't want to deal with a confrontation with the law while also taking you along with him. He wanted to get as far as he could while you were still cooperative, and whenever you realized that there was no chance he'd be taking you back, he'd go to more extreme measures of keeping you with him. Your phone being dead was a good thing for him; you wouldn't be able to try and get help as easily.

“I think we've passed by three or four motels already,” you added, “was there something wrong with them?”

“No. Sorry. I got a bit distracted,” Phinks replied, “I've come to really like the highway at night. There's something soothing about it, I guess. Wanted to stay like this for a bit longer.”

You nodded in response and looked back out the window, your fingers still playing with the jeweled eye.

“Can I borrow your phone at some point tomorrow? I need to call someone just so everyone back home knows I'm okay. Don't want them to worry,” you said to him.

“Sure,” he said.

Arguing with you over that would seem strange. He'd just need to avoid that subject tomorrow.

He noticed when you yawned.

“Getting tired?” he asked.

“A little,” you said, laughing a little as you added, “this wasn't how I was expecting my night to go.”

“Same here.”

“I hope you decide to stop soon. I might not be up for it tonight if you're planning on continuing where we left off at the pool when we reach that motel.”

“That's fine. We'll have all day tomorrow, right?”

His words made you embarrassed again, and you shyly answered with a yes as you smiled to yourself.

So that was the plan, then. Drive as far as he could tonight, fuck your brains out tomorrow, then get away further before you figured things out. You would likely object, not liking the idea of being taken away from everything you'd ever known. But he was certain that after spending enough time with him, you'd prefer it. Your current life wasn't any good, but he was prepared for you to not understand that at first. And if he needed to tie you up and shove you into the trunk to keep you compliant, he could do that. Seemed like a pretty fool-proof plan.

You were yawning again.

“Get some sleep if you need to,” he said, “I'll wake you up when I find a place I like.”

You nodded. Soon after he saw you settling back into the seat and closing your eyes as you attempted to get some rest.

He liked the sight of you next to him, sitting in his clothes while you nodded off in his car. And when he turned his attention back to the empty highway, he was once again hit with the feeling like he was the only one in the world. A feeling that only came with seeing an area that was typically full of people seem completely abandoned.

But this time, though, he wasn't alone.

[sbnslver]

No Surprises

Pairing: Stephen Strange x gn!reader

Warnings: Fluff and mentions of food.

A/N: Lowkey i really loved this idea but could not for the life of me write it out so I apologize if it’s really bad :’) and sorry for the disappearance I really am trying to get back at it I swear.

Word count: 1k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

With just hours left on your day, which was supposed to be your special day, you could feel yourself becoming a bit depressed as you had gone through the day without seeing a single message from anyone wishing you a great birthday, not even your best friend, who was most known for his brilliant memory. Although you’re sad, you couldn’t hold it against anyone. They all had separate lives, and birthdays when you're older are nothing like when you’re a kid.

In order to save yourself from becoming even more upset, you opted to turn in early. Put this day entirely behind you. You were hoisting yourself from the couch when you heard a knock. You felt butterflies erupting in your stomach, anticipating a surprise behind the door. Hoping that you weren’t forgotten after all. You all but ran to the door, swinging it open with all your might to reveal your best friend, Stephen Strange. 

There he stood in your doorway, hands full. Balloons, takeout, cake, and a small gift bag were held up in his arms. "Sorry I’m so late. The world had a number of issues today and no one better than me to solve them." He pushed past you, making his way to your coffee table, dumping all his items on the table. He also then noticed your lack of attention to what he was saying. "Hey, what’s wrong?" He said, waving his hand in front of your face.

You blinked before closing your door and rushing over to him, engulfing him in a hug, embracing his warmth and smell. "You remembered…"

You felt him wrap his arm around you, squeezing you. "Well, of course, how could I forget my favorite person's birthday? Besides, I am your best friend; it is kind of my duty to remember these sorts of things." He laughed. "Now that I'm here, the party can get started." He joked.

"You’re in luck because you’re the only person that remembered." He looked at you confused. "No one remembered my birthday, Stephen, just you."

"I’m sorry-" He began to say

"Don’t apologize, you're the most important thing is you’re here. I don’t care about anything else." You said it with a genuine smile. Shifting your gaze, you looked at all the items now lazily placed on your coffee table. "What do we have here, hm?"

"I didn’t have time to cook for you like I planned, but I picked up your favorite Chinese takeout and put together a little something." He walked over to you. "Close your eyes." You complied immediately.

You felt the woosh of a portal and then a warm grabbing of your hands, slowly guiding you as you walked with your eyes squeezed shut. "You can open them now." Slowly" he said, releasing his grip on you. You opened your eyes and you recognized that you were on the roof of your apartment complex. You looked down and saw a blanket and candles all neatly spread out, along with your takeout on top. 

"I know we can’t really see the stars, that’s New York for you, but the moon is nice and this is all I could really do with the time I had and-"

"Stephen," you said, cutting off his rambling, "this is perfect. Thank you." You could cry with the emotions you were filled with. No one had ever taken the time to really give you something as special as this. "Really, I couldn’t ask for anything more."

"That’s a relief." He smiled. You both took a seat on the blanket, enjoying the food in the cool New York air.

Taking a bite of your food, you asked, "What made you want to do this?"

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

You laughed. "A picnic in the moonlight, I mean, it’s nearly midnight."

"Well, I mean, it's you. I would do anything for you." A slight tinge of pink made its way onto his face before he turned away and coughed awkwardly. "You gave me quite a celebration for my birthday, I feel it’s fair that I return the favor." He said, avoiding your gaze.

"Right, it’s only fair," you agreed, trying your best to ignore his previous confession.

"Anyway, before I forget," Stephen presented your birthday cake, a small ta da leaving his lips, white frosting and rainbow sprinkles, just how you always liked it. "Happy birthday y/n" with the snap of his fingers there were candles with flames shining an orange light on both of your faces. "Make a wish."

You closed your eyes and made a wish. You wished that you could spend every birthday with him just like this. Just you two making the most of your time together. You wanted to believe that you wanted nothing more than friendship from him, but it was hard to ignore the hammering in your chest and the warmth of your cheeks as you looked at him. 

"So...What did you wish for?" He asked slicing the cake into eight equal pieces. You watched as you gently picked up an eighth, putting it on a plate and handing it to you.

You grabbed the plate and answered. "Ah ah ah if I tell you then it won’t come true," you teased, taking a bite of the sugary sweet.

"Please, are we children? Besides, I am a master of the mystic arts. Who says I can’t make it come true?" He sassed back.

You scoffed. "Well, master of the mystic arts or not, it’s my wish and it’s up to the universe to decide whether it comes true or not."

No one else you knew could ever turn your day around as much as Stephen Strange could, and you were now more certain than ever that you would never want to leave his side. Your heart swells at the idea of you two spending the rest of your lives together, celebrating birthdays and other special anniversaries. Stephen Strange was your guy, and there was no doubt in the universe that you two were destined for each other. He was just yours, and you were his.

[jeoniius]

Next Life | kth (m)

☆ summary:  Although you and Taehyung didn’t believe in first and second lives, you both wished you’d find each other in the next life as you both looked at the sky that night.

☆ pairing: husband!tae x wife!reader

☆ genre: angst, smut.

☆ warning: sexual content, angst

☆ word count: 4k

☆a/n: Finally this is done. Thank you so much @jkiddingjeon for beta-ing the fic, it meant A LOT. I really love this fic and I hope you enjoy it too. ngl it's a pretty heartbreaking fic so get ready for some ANGST.

Love. Hate. 

It’s always adjacent to each other. Something that’s always there when the other is present. It also changes people. How it makes people go from loving someone and being best friends with someone to trying everything they can to pull them down, to take them out. 

You’d say you can relate to it. In more ways than one. You had seen your fair share of people going from loving them unconditionally to talking shit about them the next day. Divorce was one of them. All the promises and vows made of staying through health and sickness, through good and bad, thrown out of the window. 

You thought of it as one of the most heartbreaking things and now you were here. Doing the exact thing as you watched the clock tick by, thinking of ways and excuses to get you out of this marriage. This marriage that ended everything. It hadn’t always been like this. No, you were in love. You were so madly in love that if anyone had told you you’d stand in this place today you’d not believe it. 

You are still in love. So madly in love but the difference being you want it to end. Maybe that way you’d find each other again.

As time went by, you stood by the railing of your balcony. The bright light of the city shined underneath you as you thought Tomorrow would be it. The end of what once was seen as a beautiful love story by not only you but by many others. The final chapter.

Maybe love and hate stood adjacent to each other but you could never hate him. 

And so you stood there, taking it all in, you thought about where it went wrong.

7 months ago

“I can’t believe you think that!” you shouted, hands up in the air as you walked back into the apartment, him following you behind. 

“Well I wouldn’t if you kept your distance!” he said, raising his voice.

“Oh my god. One hug. It was one hug. And that too because he was leaving.” 

“It didn’t look like one,” he argued back. 

“Are you freaking kidding me right now? Nothing happened, you know that.” you said trying to calm yourself down. 

“Stop trying to argue with me all the fucking time.” he bit back. 

“Oh, I am arguing? You were the one who started it.” You took long strides towards him. 

“You were the one who accused his wife of cheating although you have no proof whatsoever” you gritted through your teeth as your finger poked his chest. 

He let out a loud groan as you run your hands through your hair. “You know what, Taehyung? You can stay here. I’m leaving.” and with that you grabbed your purse and keys and strode out the door, slamming it behind. 

Kim Taehyung. 

The love of your life. You met him in college. As cliché as it sounds, he was the heartthrob with his extremely good looks and his unbelievable flirting skills. You weren’t supposed to know him at all if you thought about it. 

Your college held its annual fest, and you were the head of the management. You had stumbled across him when he had come to drop off some supplies instead of his best friend. You got into a small quarrel when he commented on how you were the head of the management when you were only a freshman and questioned your ability to pull the entire thing off when it was only three days from the fest and not even one percent of anything was done.

You got into a bet with him as you made him promise you that he’d treat you to something of your choice if you pulled it off. Nevertheless, you pulled the entire thing off within the next two days, proving him wrong. As a promise, he treated you to something really expensive(of course you had picked it) and then swore to never question your ability.  

You started seeing more of him, with his surprise visits to your class (which usually ended up with girls surrounding you asking how you knew him) or him coming to your seat in the cafeteria just to give you some new juice he got for you. Sometimes he’d ask you to come to one of his basketball matches and then took you to dinner afterward. 

You felt your heartbeat increasing every time you saw him or heard his name in fact, and before you knew it, you were confessing to him, putting your heart on the line. 

The day you confessed, you ran out before he could even reply. Too scared to be rejected. But Taehyung did something you’d never expect. He brought you to an amusement park, took you to dinner, and then confessed to you with thousands of chocolate (literally). 

You both had your fair share of arguments and then makeup sex. Mind-blowing sex to be exact. 

Your relationship with Taehyung was built on trust. He’d be there waiting for you every time you came home late and vice versa. You’d be at all of his games. You’d go to every party, hang out with your friends.

Once he graduated, he’d wait to pick you up every day. Every day you’d go to your favorite café, with your friends, complete assignments and projects, argue about who won the last UNO game, girls vs boys. 

He spent every hour with you when you struggled with your dream job and you did the same. When you finally did get the job, he asked you to marry him. You nodded then and there. Tears escaped, phone calls were made. Everyone came to the engagement party and then the wedding and you truly thought everything you ever wanted was there. Your family, your friends, his friends, him. 

But what you didn’t know then was what followed after. Just like promises are made, they are broken. Trust is broken and the bond doesn’t stay. 

The first two years were bliss. You went to Paris for your honeymoon and then to New York. Yes, New York for your honeymoon. You experienced the love in Paris and the rush in New York. 

You spent most of the days in Paris, going to spots of attractions, enjoying the food in the café, walking around the streets drunk and completely in love, having late night sex, morning sex,  just lots of sex to be exact. 

But in New York, you spent your days going to Times Square, Bars, and Pubs had ‘the’ New York pizza and cheesecakes and hotdogs and whatnot. Went shopping and sightseeing. Roamed around the streets at night, met so many people.

You believed you had found what you had been looking for all your life. Someone to go to romantic dinners and the craziest parties with.  

But what followed was something you didn’t think would happen. Every marriage has its ups and downs. You had to. But then it started.

Every party would become an excuse to start arguments, every late night at work would lead to assumptions. At first, you thought it would be fine. Talking would help, it was always the key for the both of you but lately, every time you spoke or tried to solve the issues, it would end in huge fights, sometimes followed by sex, or even if not sex, you’d stop talking to each other and then one day pretend nothing happened. 

Although in heels you walked around the park near your apartment. ‘It will be fine’ you told yourself as you tried not to break down. Deciding it would not be a good idea to go anywhere at that hour, you sat by a bench.

The cold wind hit you as a shiver ran down your body, the thin wine slip dress doing nothing to stop it. The screen of your phone lit up as you saw multiple texts from Taehyung. A part of you was happy that he cared enough to text you. You clicked on his profile as a series of texts came up.

Tae: where are you?

Tae: come on Y/N, don’t be stupid. 

Tae: it’s really late. where the fuck are you?

Tae: baby, you’re scaring me. 

Sighing you got up and made your way out of the park. Since you lived in a complex, it didn’t take you too long to walk. As you opened the keys, you saw Taehyung pacing around the living room. “Where are my keys?” he muttered to himself, not noticing your presence. 

A clinking sound made Taehyung look up as the keys hit the ceramic bowl on the kitchen top. “Where were you?” he asked, trying to control his anger. You didn’t answer him as you took off the heels, internally sighing when the cold floor hit your barefoot. “Are you seriously gonna ignore me? I asked where the fuck were you?” he pulled you by your wrists stopping you from going further. “Don’t do this.” you gritted through your teeth as you harshly pulled away before going inside your shared bedroom. 

You slipped out of the dress and you got inside the shower, the hot water touching your skin as you stood there. No matter how much you tried not to think about it, you always went back. Where did it go wrong? 

You changed into shorts and one of Taehyung’s oversized shirts as it reached mid-thigh. Getting inside the covers, you relaxed, the cool sensation of your bedsheet and covers calming you somehow as you turned towards the glass wall. 

You heard a sigh as Taehyung got inside the room. He got inside the covers and stared at your back as you tried to keep calm. You felt an arm wrap around your waist as he pulled you closer, back colliding with his chest, nuzzling his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” his voice came muffled as you felt the vibrations on your neck. 

“I really am.” he said, taking a deep breath pulling you closer if that was possible. You sighed, turning to him. 

“I felt really cheap, you know” you said, hands reaching to cup his face. “I’m so sorry baby.” he sighed, closing his eyes as you ran your hand through his hair. “I know.” 

He pressed a kiss on your lips as you pulled him closer, hands wrapping around his neck. You sighed into the kiss as his lips trailed down towards your collarbone, sucking and nipping then. Soon enough he was inside you as he went on an animalistic pace. “Do you think he can fuck you like this?” he growled. You ignored him as you knew you were close, focusing on your climax. You came within the next few minutes as he rubbed your clit while thrusting.

Later on, he lapped up the spilled contents lazily as you screamed his name, your cries stroking his ego.

He wrapped an arm around your naked waist as he fell asleep on his stomach, head on your chest, legs tangled over your naked ones. You stroked his hair as you stared at the ceiling, his words ringing in your ear ‘Do you think he can fuck you like this?’

A small realization crept inside your head. He was never gonna trust you.

He stirred in his sleep, pulling you closer, he pressed an open-mouth kiss above the swell of your breast in his sleep. Releasing a long sigh, you kissed his head, quickly pushing the thought aside. 

That was the first mistake. 

“I love you so much,” you said. 

You pulled the robe over your body tightly, a coffee cup in your hand. Picking up your phone you looked at the time. 3:08 am it read. The city still buzzed with life. The cold breeze hit your face soothingly as you closed your eyes. Only if you had done something before, things wouldn’t have gone wrong. 

4 months ago

Your phone buzzed as you frustratedly rubbed your face. You dreaded picking up the call, not wanting to have to shout again. Things had been gradually worsening between you and Taehyung. Late-night fights, coming home drunk, not talking to each other for weeks had become a common thing nowadays and no matter how hard you tried, no matter how many times you both tried to co-operate, you didn’t seem to escape it.

“You should talk to him.” Ae-ra said, handing you a cup of tea. 

Tea. 

You never liked tea. You were more of a coffee person. You preferred the rush, the adrenaline. But nowadays, you were tired. Tired of doing the same thing over and over again. Having the same quarrels and fights over and over again. Tea seemed to calm you. 

“And then what? Get into another fight?” 

“You know what I mean, babe.” She said as she rubbed your arm soothingly.

“Maybe later. I cannot deal with him now.” you sipped on the cup.

What you didn’t know was that “later” would come that fast. You went back to your apartment to get more of your clothes. You planned on going at night, when he was most probably out with his friends or whoever kept him busy nowadays. But to your surprise, he was there. 

You opened the main door, using the key you had with you to meet with his laying figure on the couch. His head shot up at the sound of the door, eyes meeting each other. He looked drained, hair messy and bags under his eyes. You cursed under your breath, debating if you should just go back to Ae-ra’s place and come later for your clothes. 

“Look who’s here.” he scoffed as he got up from the couch.

Deciding on the former, you walked past him without taking another glance, into your shared bedroom. Taking a bag out, you shoved as many clothes as possible wanting to stay away from this mess. “Are you gonna ignore me now?” you heard him as he entered the room. 

You zipped up the chain as you walked towards the door wanting to leave. He grabbed your hand before you could go any further. He felt so scared when he saw you packing your stuff, so much that it suffocated him. “Fucking answer me.” his voice raised as he stared at you. 

Taehyung’s eyes softened as he saw the dry tears on your cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to pull you close and never let go. To talk to you and tell you it would be fine, that you would figure it out together. 

As he saw your tired eyes, glossy as you tried to keep your composure, he wanted to kiss you so badly and keep you tucked away from every bad thing; ever, even himself if he was bad for you.

And maybe he would have done that. Hugged you and kissed you. Kept you in his arms if you didn’t start talking. 

“Leave me the fuck alone.” you pulled away harshly. “You know what? Yes, I am ignoring you and gladly will.” 

“What is wrong with you? You cannot just come and go like that.” he said, hands gesturing to your bag.

“I can and I will. You cannot stop me” you clarified.

“ Yes, I can. I am your husband for god’s sake.” a frustrated tone laced his words.

“Husband?” you scoffed. “When were you a good husband? Where did this go when I stayed up till dawn every day waiting for you?” 

“You know how hectic things have been at work.” he looked at you knowingly. 

“That doesn’t mean you’d stop spending time with me!” you yelled.

You knew you were being unreasonable. Things really were hectic at work for him. But you couldn’t help but feel lonely when you came home after a long day to an empty and cold apartment and then stayed up every day almost all night for your husband. You felt so neglected when he’d come home and go to sleep straight away without saying anything. 

All the doubts about your marriage slowly were coming true and you wanted nothing more than to prove it wrong. But talking about it led to arguments with Taehyung. So you decided to stay away from home, so that you didn’t have to think about it, to begin with. 

That was the second mistake. 

“You are going nowhere.” Taehyung took the bag from your hand and walked towards the bed. “You’ll stay at home.”

“Home?” a humorless chuckle left your throat. “I will go anywhere I want, but home.” 

“I mean it Y/N. Stop acting like a kid. Go wash up and come to bed.” he sighed. 

“I’m not staying” you concluded, ready to leave your stuff behind as you turned. 

You felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist as he stuffed his face in the junction of your neck and shoulder. A tear left your eyes, followed by streams, and for some reason, your heart broke, it felt like he was pulling you apart from inside. 

You felt his warm breath as he mumbled something. He pressed you towards him as you silently cried. 

Later that night, as he fucked you slowly, something different than his usual dominating aura, your heart ached, but you couldn’t pinpoint why. He kissed you ever so passionately, that you cried. 

Something told you that it would be over soon, so you hugged him as close as you could when he slept. You cried as he hugged you in his sleep like you would go away if he didn’t have you in his arms. 

“I love you so much,” he mumbled in his sleep.

That’s when you realized how bad the entire situation was. How bad you were for him just like he was for you. How bad this marriage was. 

And what followed after confirmed everything you ever doubted. 

2 months ago

“You think I didn’t see you?” you yelled. 

“What are you talking about?” he looked curious. 

“Oh sure, play the good guy, make me look bad, why don’t you?” you scoffed.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” he repeated. “How would you? You thought you were good enough to keep it away from me.” you said. His eyebrows crashed as he tried to understand. “I saw you with her. Maybe that’s why you were always late. You were too busy fucking her.” a bitterness stayed in your mouth. “Are you kidding me?” he said as he raked his fingers through his hair. 

“You are accusing me of cheating, Y/N? You?” he scoffed. “Don’t think I forgot about the party.” 

“Oh my god. You were never going to believe me, were you?” you looked at him with a glint in your eyes. 

“You are being paranoid Y/N,” he said calmly. 

“You know what? Maybe I will go to him. The guy you accused me of cheating. Maybe I will let him fuck me. Clear all your doubts and make it true!” you were screaming now. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, voice so calm maybe you would have been scared if you were thinking straight. 

“Neither can I.” you said as you walked out of the house. 

The next day when you woke up, you felt bad for yelling at him. So you decided to go back and talk to him. And maybe you would have if fate didn’t have anything else planned. 

As you walked into the house, you saw a man sitting on your couch, Taehyung at his side as paper lay in front of him. The man looked at you briefly before turning back to Taehyung. “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Mr. Lee.” he said as he shook hands with the man. The man nodded. 

Before leaving, he looked at you, “See you in court.” 

You furrowed your brows before realization hit you. “Tae, what did he mean by that?” 

He kept quiet as he gathered the papers. “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” you tried again. Taehyung got up as he handed you the papers, then went to the bedroom. You stared at them as you couldn’t process anything. 

You cannot get divorced. You cannot live without him.  

You walked inside the room as you saw him looking out. “Tae, we can talk, right? You don’t mean this.” your voice shook. 

Walking up to him you wrapped your arms around his, face buried in his back as you mumbled “This is a joke, right?” 

You heard his sigh before he turned to you, eyes glossy. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“We won’t. We’ll figure it out. We don’t have to do this.” you went on. 

“Y/N-”

“No, no, you don’t understand. You are out of your mind. We can’t get divorced.”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot do this anymore.” he said,

You looked at him. “Why are you saying it as if it is all my fault?” 

“I don’t mean that.”

“You absolutely mean that. Your face says it all.” you gestured toward him. “Oh. You really are gonna do this?” you said as he rubbed his face. 

“Well, fuck you, Kim Taehyung. You can do whatever you want. You can blame me all you want but you and I both know the minute I walk out, you are going to regret this.” 

“You can keep going for my heart and put all this on me, but you will miss me to your bone the minute this is over.” you said as you stormed off. 

That night, you went back to Ae-ra’s place. You screamed at the sky pretending it was him while he stayed awake that night as he looked at the sky. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I love you so much” he said, tears freely falling.

It really was over. All your doubts came true. Your marriage ended. Maybe it was for the better. ‘You’re being paranoid’ he said. He was right. You became paranoid.

You wiped the single tear and looked at the sky, soft light spread across as the birds sang. 5:00 am

You picked out the attire you were going to wear to the court. Your phone buzzed as you picked it up. It was Ae-ra. It’s gonna be okay. You’ll get through it. she said.

You went to the court that day. You watched him as he entered the room, a black tux hugging his frame. He had become more buff than he was the last time you saw him two months ago. As he ran his fingers through his hair, his shoulder blades flexed. The same shoulder blades that had your nail marks reminding the night before from every morning you’ve spent together. You smiled at that memory. 

Soon the judge walked in and the process went on. 

At one point in your relationship with him, assuming was something you both picked up. Long gone was the trust which was the key in your relationship. Maybe it was for the better. You both were paranoid; assumptions feeding more into it. 

But what you both gradually became, was bad for each other. Not at the beginning of your relationship, but somewhere in the middle, it went out of hand. Maybe if you spoke to each other more, maybe if you hadn’t pushed your thoughts the first day it came, then maybe you wouldn’t be here. But everything happens for a reason. 

Kim Taehyung was the heartthrob of the campus. Kim Taehyung was the first person you confessed you loved. He was the first person who heard ‘I love you’ from you. He was your first love. 

As the saying goes, some people are in our lives, just to teach us a lesson. Good and Bad. Kim Taehyung was that for you. You were still in love with him. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and yours did. You loved him more than you did before. And so maybe letting him go was easy. You were bad for him and he was bad for you. But that didn’t stop you from loving him.

And that didn’t stop him from loving you as you sat at the courthouse, as he looked at your face when it was over, as he lay in his bed alone that night.

Maybe you weren’t meant to be. Or maybe you were, but you didn’t know-how. But it was fine. And maybe as time goes by, it would hurt less. 

Although you and Taehyung didn’t believe in first and second lives, you both wished you’d find each other in the next life as you both looked at the sky that night. 

taglist: @mwitsmejk​

[anotherfuckingmarvelfanaccount]

Sometimes Life Gets in the Way (Peter Parker x Reader)

Warnings: ANGST. LIKE HOLY CRAP THERE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS MUCH ANGST. IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE SMUT, BUT I’M SITTING HERE CRYING. THERE IS ALSO SMUT; minors do not read. Probably swearing, this is a female reader. I know I said that most of these would be a gender neutral reader, but from now on, I’ll just specify both of them. 

There will probably be more female reader ones posted since those are easier for me to write and I relate with them more. I don’t specify anything about apperance in any of my fics, so hair colour, skin colour, and size don’t matter. The only thing is, I write a shorter reader since I would personally have to tilt my head back to make eye contact with any of the heroes. I’m not as short as some people, but I’m definitely not the tallest in my friend group. And if I make a character that much taller than you, just picture the actors bigger, or put that lovely imagination of yours to good use. Instead of 4 inch heels, maybe you just make up for that in legs, loves. I hope you enjoy this!

Word Count: 9594 (Officially the longest thing I’ve written!)

You had been dating Peter Parker for the last 3 years, and you had been best friends for the last 13. You were there when he got bit by the spider that gave him his powers, and although you didn’t get any, you were a superhero in your own right. You weren’t the daughter of one of the Avengers, nor were you related to any of them. You did see Clint as a father figure, but as you had known him since birth, it made sense. Your parents were SHIELD agents, and they died about 3 years ago, just a few weeks after you started dating Peter. Since you had no family, and were old enough to throw a punch, (you live in New York, let’s be real here,) SHIELD allowed you to work with the Avengers, since your parents were high-level agents and you grew up running around Stark Tower. You and Peter often teamed up, Spiderman and Shadow, and while neither of you told Ned or MJ, you didn’t feel like you needed to blurt out the secret since there was one other person your age that knew.

Throughout the last few years, Tony had allowed you and Peter to move into the Avengers Compound, you had both graduated highschool last week, so now you were moving in full time.

“We did it, princess.” Peter said, flopping down on his new bed. While moving into the Compound, the both of you had only stayed there for weekend visits and breaks because of school, so nothing was ever set up the way you wanted it, nor was it the way you left it.

“Damn right we did, sweetie.” You replied, laying down next to him.

“Cuddles and movies until we fall asleep?” He asked, giving you his puppy dog eyes and shifting closer.

“Pete, gross. We’re both all sweaty from lifting boxes, hanging posters and clothes, and just generally organizing shit. And it’s July in New York. It’s fucking hot. If anything, I want to lay under a fan and know that you’re still here with me.”

“Alright, Y/N. What if we both take cool showers and sit in the main room where the ventilation is better? We can grab some snacks and call it date night?”

You rolled your eyes and smiled, “How is it you never fail to make me agree?”

“Because you love me.” He replied cheekily.

“I do love you.” You kissed his cheek and stood up, leaving his room and heading to yours to shower. “Meet in 30?” You asked, calling behind you.

“Sounds good! I’ll pop the popcorn!”

“I’ll bring the candy and drinks!”

~~~~~~~~~~

45 minutes later, you and Peter were both wearing a t-shirt and shorts, had turned the big fan on in the main room, and were cuddled up watching Empire Strikes Back, since you had rolled your eyes and let Peter pick again. You were, admittedly, a nerd, but you never understood his fascination with Star Wars. You had both fought aliens and had both been to space, you didn’t exactly get how some guy with daddy issues was gonna save the whole universe, but you never mentioned it to Peter. Mostly because he was gonna try to explain it, and no matter how many times he did, you just gave him that look that said “I love you, and I love that you care about this, but don’t drag me into it.” And without fail, he stopped.

“Are you sure you’re okay with watching it?” Peter asked. “I know you don’t really like Star Wars.”

You threw your feet over his lap and snuggled further into his side, Peter wrapped one arm behind your back and the other across your feet, effectively protecting the popcorn bowl from falling. “Since I’ll be asleep once I finish my popcorn, yeah, this is fine, babe.

Tony picked this moment to walk in. “Ooh, are you watching Star Wars?” He then saw the two of you snuggled up together. “Really? You two are gonna sit that close?”

“We’ve been dating for 3 years, and you’re interrupting date night, Mr. Stark.” Peter explained as you yawned and shifted to sit even closer to Peter, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Y/N, how are you sleeping through this?” Tony asked, sitting on the couch with the both of you.

“We watch this movie somewhere between one and ten times a month, and have for at least a year and a half.” You told him. 

“Plus, she’s not a huge Star Wars fan.”

“How dare you?”

“I like Harry Potter, shut up.” You nuzzled into Peter and kissed his shoulder softly. “Good night, I love you.” You mumbled, falling asleep already.

“Damn, she usually makes it a little further than that.” Peter chuckled softly. “Good night, princess, I love you too.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, you woke up in Peter’s room, in his bed, without Peter. “Uh, JARVIS, where’s Peter?” You asked softly.

“Mr. Parker is making breakfast in the main kitchen, Miss L/N.” The AI responded at the same level, Tony’s coding to the rescue again, although it was probably to deal with his hangovers, it was helpful for the rest of you nonetheless. Putting on one of Peter’s your shirts and a different pair of shorts, with pockets for your phone, you walked softly into the kitchen to find Peter making pancakes with all your favourite toppings. You looked at him lovingly for a minute before walking up behind him and wrapping him in a hug.

“Oh, baby girl. It’s just you.”

“Missed you, honey,” you told him, planting kisses across his bare back, since Peter always slept without a shirt. “Woke up alone and the bed was cold.”

He turned around in your arms and kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed after our long day yesterday.”

“Thank you.” You said softly, sitting down at the island so he could keep cooking. “You’re the best.”

“Only for you, princess.”

Sam walked in at that moment, presumably coming back from his run with Steve. “Holy shit, the kid is built!” Peter went to say something in response, but just kind of zoned out in Sam’s direction.

“Peter,” you snapped him out of his daze, “sweetheart, the pancakes.”

“Right, thank you, Y/N.” He said, turning back to the stove and flipping the pancakes.

“Leave him alone, Sammy, we had a long day yesterday.” You told him, getting back up to start the coffee machine.

“Oh, what, moving?”

“We woke up at 4AM, packed everything the two of us had in May’s apartment into boxes and garbage bags, carried them all onto the subway because Happy was too busy sleeping to pick us up and Mr. Stark was out at a gala of sorts or whatever. We somehow missed our stop because we both fell asleep, had to wait at the station until a different train showed up to take us back, caught a bus that brought us to the main road, 20 minutes from the front gates, and we had to lug all of our stuff with us the whole time. And we still had to set everything up, and it was noon by the time we actually got here. In the rain the whole time, nonetheless.” You explained, nicking a berry out of Peter’s bowl of fruit.

“Oh, kiddos. Why didn’t you call one of us? We would’ve picked you up so you didn’t have to do that.” Steve said, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.

“We called all of you, Captain.” Peter said, loading up a plate with pancakes for you and putting new ones in the pan. “You, Mr. White Wolf, and Mr. Wilson were all sparring in the gym because it was raining and you didn’t want to run outside. Ms. Romanoff was visiting Mr. Barton on the farm, so neither of them could come get us; Dr. Banner was sleeping since he Hulked out on the last mission, Mr. Thor and Mr. Loki are off-world, and we’re, frankly, both terrified of calling Dr. Strange or Mr. Wong when it’s not an emergency, so we didn’t bother. The Guardians aren’t here, neither is Captain Marvel, and Mr. Lang is in San Francisco with Hope, Hank, and Cassie.”

“Plus, neither Maximoff twin can drive.” You added, pouring coffee into your favourite mug.

Steve sighed, “Kiddos, we would’ve stopped training if you had told us what you needed. If you had called back and said that no one else could help you, we would’ve gotten one of the cars and grabbed all your stuff for you.” He took the coffee pot once you were done with it, and poured coffee into his favourite mug.

“Well, Captain, you could’ve just helped us the first time when we mentioned moving, rain, and the lack of Mr. Stark.” You said softly, cutting into your pancakes. You shoved your fork into your mouth and closed your eyes in bliss, moaning softly. “Peter, holy fuck,” you swallowed, “these are the best pancakes ever.” When you opened your eyes, Peter was flushed and staring at you with his jaw dropped slightly, Sam was smirking and glancing between the two of you, and Steve was also flushed while sipping at his coffee.

“Oh, shit, where are my manners? Captain Rogers, Mr. Wilson, do you wanna have breakfast with us?” Peter asked, plating up more pancakes. Steve took the plate out of his hands gratefully, and slid the syrup away from you.

“Thanks, kid.” He said, sitting next to you, before taking a bite. “Oh my God, Y/N’s right, these are the best pancakes ever.”

“Okay, well, now I have to try them, Spidey. If you two don’t mind us interrupting your breakfast date and fuck.” Sam said, sitting next to Steve.

“Date and what?” You said, sputtering into your coffee.

“Oh, I know you know what the word means, you use it all the time. Plus did you not see the way he just looked at you? You guys just need to fuck and he’ll be fine.” Sam explained.

“I- uh- we-” You started, eloquently as ever.

“We haven’t- both still-” Peter continued, stammering as he dealt with the pancakes.

“Not that far- virgins- just- haven’t done it.” You finished the sentence together, both blushing messes as you turned back to your heavenly pancakes and Peter slid a plate towards Sam, who took the syrup from Steve.

“Oh, well, kids, you just needed to do it. It’s nothing to be worried about.” Sam said.

Steve shook his head, “Sam, you know it’s not always that easy. Plus they’re still kids. They’re not even both 18 yet, you know that.”

You glanced between the two, not knowing what to say, and having finished your pancakes already, you stood, putting your plate in the sink and kissing Peter’s cheek. “Thank you for breakfast, baby.” You headed downstairs to Tony’s lab to help him with anything he needed today. You did see him as a bit of an uncle figure, not that you’d ever tell him that.

“Good morning, kiddo.” He said, acknowledging you after you handed him a coffee mug.

“Were you down here all night?” You said, sitting in the back seat of one of his old cars.

“No, just for a couple hours. Did I hear Sam and Steve come into the kitchen while you and Peter were having a breakfast date?”

“Yeah, Sam told us we just need to fuck.”

Tony sputtered on his drink in a similar fashion to what you had done not even 20 minutes ago. “What? But you guys haven’t made it that far yet!” You didn’t even say anything, you just gave him the ‘no shit, really?’ look. “I know. I know you know that. But can I ask how far you have gone?”

“Honestly?”

“Please.” He said, clinking his mug with yours.

“Well..” you started, trying to buy yourself time, “I mean we cuddle all the time, and we’ve kissed.” You shrugged a little. “Any time it’s gone to go further than that, either we’ve had a mission, or someone else has walked in, or May came home and neither of us felt right doing anything more than kissing with her home.” You said, looking anywhere but Tony.

“That’s okay, kiddo. Have you made out or just kissing?” He asked softly.

“What’s the difference?”

“Tongue.”

You snorted softly in derision, “Just kissing then.” You paused, trying to get your thoughts straight. “I dunno, Mr. Stark. It’s not that I don’t wanna do it with Peter, I do! I just really don’t know anything. Like I mean, I know stuff in theory and I know how things work, but execution and actually doing things is very different than just knowing about it.”

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo. You’ll both know what to do when the time is right.” Tony said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

You rested your head on his shoulder. “I dunno, Mr. Stark. I’m just really nervous about it.” You put your mug down on one of the tables DUM-E had moved closer to you and Tony, and Tony put his mug down on the other side of the car.

“Hey,” he tilted your head up towards him, “you and I both know that Peter will take care of you. If you ask him to go slow, he will; no matter what you ask him to do, he will, okay?” He pulled you into a hug, and you closed your eyes as you rested your forehead in the crook of his neck. “I promise you, there’s no need to be nervous, okay?”

“I know, I’m just overthinking it. I always overthink everything. It’s stupid, I’m sorry, you probably don’t even care.”

“Of course I care. My father was terrible, and he was so pissed when he found out that I had lost my virginity before marriage. I don’t care if you and Peter want to do it and then you end up breaking up, that happens. I just want you two to be safe, and there’s no need to be nervous since everybody can see how much you love each other. You are both virgins, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, we’ve been together for 3 years, Tony. And like 3 weeks after we got together was when my parents were killed. And while it was hard to grieve my mom, since she was always crazy busy, and just crazy in general.. I miss my dad. He wasn’t always the best dad, and yeah, he missed some concerts and school trips, but they were both SHIELD agents, so I understood as I got older. But he was always there when I needed him, and he let me do things that my mom wouldn’t, like watch movies, play video games my mom would never have allowed me to even own, and he let me run around with Peter, Ned, MJ.” A few tears slipped down your face and you nuzzled further into Tony’s shoulder. “God, Tony, I miss him. Why did he have to go?”

“I know,” he rubbed your back, “I know, sweetie.” You let out a soft sob and curled your fingers into Tony’s shirt. He kept whispering words of reassurance to you and after a few minutes, he saw Peter coming into the lab, with damp hair and one of your favourite shirts of his, evidently having showered after breakfast.

You felt yourself being lifted into someone’s arms, and you opened your eyes a little and saw a very watery Peter. “Hey, hey, baby girl, you’re okay. I’m right here.” He carried you back upstairs to his bedroom, and went next door to your room to grab your favourite stuffed animal. It was a white rabbit with a pink lace scarf that you had named Ruby after your dad had won it for you at Coney Island when you were a kid. Peter came back, handed you Ruby, and wrapped his arms around you as you cried.

Much like Tony had just a few minutes ago, Peter whispered words of reassurance to you until the crying had stopped and you were left dehydrated and sniffling. “Can I go grab you some Gatorade or water?” You shook your head, attempting to burrow further into his chest while squeezing Ruby to yours. “Okay, okay. That’s alright. JARVIS, would you get someone to grab some Gatorade or water for Y/N?” Peter asked softly.

“Of course, Mr. Parker.” The AI responded at the same level, and a moment later there was a knock on the door.

“Kiddos?” Clint said softly. “Are you okay in there? Can I come in?”

“You can come in, Mr. Barton. I’m okay, but Y/N’s been crying pretty hard.”

Clint opened the door and poked his head in to find you curled into Peter, much like you were after you were told about your parents dying. He passed Peter two bottles of Gatorade and two reusable water bottles, one for each of you, although, from the looks of it, you needed it more. “Hey sweetie.” Clint said softly. You waved your hand a little in response. “Can I ask why we’re crying today?”

“Dad.” You signed, remembering a little of what Clint had taught you.

“We’re missing Dad?” You nodded. “That’s okay. Remember that philosophy I taught you? There’s a box, and that box has a button and a ball in it. Every time that ball hits the button, you get sad, and the ball is your grief. At first, the ball is always touching the button, but after a while, as the ball gets smaller, it hits the button less and less often. Your ball bounced right into the button today, and that’s okay. You wanna tell us what happened, maybe something caused this?”

“JARVIS.” Still not trusting your voice, since you were prone to start crying again, you fingerspelled the word.

“JARVIS? Oh, he’ll explain it to us?” Clint asked, wrapping an arm around you. You nodded again as JARVIS began to explain everything to your boyfriend and your father figure. “Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N/N, I didn’t even think about how hard graduation was for you. Now, you want the red gatorade or the blue gatorade?”

“Red please.” You whispered. Peter handed you the bottle and put a straw in it so that you didn’t have to tilt your head back or sit up. You sipped at it slowly before nuzzling back into Peter. “I want my Daddy back,” you sniffled, nosing at the collar of his shirt.

“I know, I know you do, princess. I wish he could be here for you too.” He allowed a couple of tears to slip down his face as Clint got up to give the two of you some privacy.

Clint let his head rest against the door for a moment after shutting it behind him, muttering, “These kids will be the death of us,” before going off to find Nat and some of the others to give an update on your both.

You felt something wet against your cheek, and it wasn’t one of your tears, so you pulled your head out of the crook of Peter’s neck. “Baby, please don’t cry.” You said, sniffling.

“But Y/N/N, I wanna help you, but I can’t. I can’t bring your dad back, I can’t make you less upset about it, and I don’t know how to help you grieve.” Peter told you, sniffling and wiping at his eyes.

You pressed your forehead to his, “I don’t need you to do any of that for me, love.” You sniffled again, wishing not for the first time that crying didn’t come with a runny nose. “Besides, one of us needs to be mentally stable, and it’s definitely not me.”

Peter sniffled again after chuckling, “It’s not me either, princess.”

“Mentally unstable orphans for the win?” You asked, chuckling.

“That checks out, baby girl. But I’m not sure we’re winning, to be fair.” He responded, placing a small kiss on your lips. “But how can I help you feel better now? What do you want?”

“You.” You replied softly, looking away from his questioning gaze and taking another sip of your Gatorade.

“Me? What do you mean by that, sweetheart?” You pressed your lips to his firmly, and cautiously licked his bottom lip. “You uh, you want me like that?”

“Of course I do, Peter. I know you’d never hurt me, I’m always safe with you and I trust you. I want you to be my first.”

He exhaled deeply, “Oh thank fuck. I want you to be my first too, Y/N. But you want it now?”

“We don’t have to if you aren’t ready.” You said, linking your hands behind his neck.

“I mean, I’m ready, princess, I’m just kinda worried that you might not be.”

You kissed him softly and cupped his face in your hands. “Okay. In a couple days?”

“Sure, baby girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~

That was three full days ago, and you were dying. You had been horny as shit for the past week, but with graduation and moving you were too tired to do anything about it. Plus then, Peter wasn’t sure you were in the right mental state to do anything with you and it all just culminated into you wanting to jump his bones.

You groaned while writing out some reaction formulas for chemistry, it wasn’t homework, it was for Bruce, since he had hired you as his lab assistant. Peter worked under Tony, as he preferred to be more hands on in his work; and you worked under Bruce since you preferred to be a little more theoretical. While experiments were always fun, you loved predicting what would happen before the two of you did the actual experiment. But you had been sitting in the lab all day trying to figure out all of this shit.

“Sweetheart?” Peter asked. “Are you alright?”

You shifted in your seat again, “I just can’t get comfortable, honey. I’m alright. It’s been a long day.”

Peter kissed your head softly, “Are you sure that’s all, princess?” He whispered, pressing his chest to your back. “I can smell you.” He muttered into your ear.

“I’m good,” you whimpered softly.

“Are you sure about that, baby girl?” Peter lifted you over his shoulder and carried you upstairs.

“Uh, kiddo? Where are you going?” Tony asked when Peter got to the top of the stairs.

“Just gotta take care of something, Mr. Stark. We’ll see you in the morning.” He replied, walking away.

“Peter! What are you doing?!” You exclaimed as Peter chuckled and walked into the kitchen.

“That’s a good question, kiddo. What are you doing?” Bucky asked, eyeing the two of you suspiciously.

Peter chuckled again, “I just gotta take care of my girl, Mr. White Wolf, sir.”

“T-take care of your girl?” You asked from your place on his shoulder.

“That is what you wanted, isn’t it, princess?” He asked, worried.

“I-oh wait, you mean like that?!”

“Yes?”

“Oh,” you paused, “then mush, baby. Go.” You smacked his ass.

Bucky laughed, “I’d say ‘let us know how it goes’, but between the two of you, you’ll turn into a shade of tomato and we won’t know anything.” You blushed and swatted at Peter’s ass lightly.

“I’m going, baby girl. I’m going.” Peter chuckled, blushing as he walked away. “Your room or mine?” He asked softly.

“I don’t care. You pick.”

Peter walked into his room, as it was closer, and threw you softly onto the bed. You sat up, grabbed his face, and pulled it to yours. The kiss was messy, messier than either of you had ever had. “You’re really excited, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“I want you, Peter.”

“We gotta take it slow, baby. I don’t wanna hurt you.” Plus, I don’t know what I’m doing, he added in his head.

“Okay, I know you won’t, but okay.” You breathed out.

“We need a safe word, just in case of anything.” He said softly.

“Pineapple.” You told him, it being the first thing that came to mind.

He chuckled softly, “Pineapple?”

“Yeah,” you replied, “pineapple.”

“Works for me,” he told you, kissing your lips again, before kissing both your cheeks, and working to under your ear with his lips.

“Peter,” you whined, “touch me.”

“I am touching you, princess. You’ll have to use your words.” He replied.

“Oh, please don’t tease me. I want your hands on my tits, Pete.”

He continued kissing down your neck until he got to the collar of your shirt. “Can I take this off?” He asked. You nodded. “Words, baby.”

“Yes, you can take it off.” Peter pulled your shirt over your head and threw it on the floor. You pulled him down with you and you laid back down and kissed him again. “Fuck, Peter, I never wanna stop kissing you.” You tugged at his collar, “Off, please.”

Pulling his shirt off, Peter planted himself on his elbows, hovering over you. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, please keep going.” You were taking deep breaths, trying to keep your heart rate at a normal level.

“Are you sure?”

“Please, Peter. Please don’t stop. Please touch me.” You begged.

Peter kissed you softly, “Like that, baby?” You moved his hands to cup your tits through your bra, and kissed him again. “Can I take it off?” He asked, pulling back.

“Yes, please.” You told him, arching your back so he could reach the clip. Peter undid your bra, and threw it on the ground with both your shirts.

“You’re so fucking hot, baby.” He said, planting his face in your tits. Peter kissed, licked, sucked, and lightly bit at them while sliding one of his hands down your stomach.

“Oh, fuck, Peter. It feels so good, please don’t stop.” You praised him and he stiffened. “Are you alright, honey?” You asked softly. 

“I liked that,” he mumbled into your tits, “the praise. I like it.”

“Yeah? You want me to tell you you’re doing a good job?” You asked, sitting up on your elbows.

He whimpered, kissing down the rest of your torso. “Please.” When Peter got to the waistband of your shorts, he slid off the bed and kissed up each of your legs until he got to the hem of each leg. “Can I take these off?” He asked.

“Yes, you can take them off, sweet boy. You’re making me feel so good, Peter.”

Peter visibly shuddered at your praise before pulling your shorts down your thighs. “Oh my God, baby girl, you’re so wet. I can see it through your panties.” He snapped the waistband of them against your hip, “And these?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, Yes, please.” He had barely even touched you and you were so warm and honestly ready to just fuck yourself soon if he didn’t. Peter slid your panties down and off your feet throwing them with all of your other clothes.

He slipped one of his fingers between your thighs, and pulled them open a little further with his other hand. “Is this alright?”

“If you stop, I’ll kill you.” You told him, leaning back onto the bed instead of continuing to rest on your elbows.

Peter sucked small hickies across your inner thighs and slid one finger through your wetness before pushing just the top of it into you. You gasped. “Are you okay?

“Yeah,” you said breathlessly, “I’m okay, it just feels weird.”

“Good weird?” He asked.

“Good weird.” You replied. “Just give me a minute.”

After a few moments, you tangled your fingers into Peter’s curls and squeezed lightly. “Are you good, baby girl?”

“Yeah, you can go.” You said softly, amazed at how gentle Peter was being. Not that you didn’t think Peter would be gentle with you, but you had heard horror stories of the first times of some of the girls in your graduating class. The guys didn’t care enough to prep them, none of them came, and so much other shit. Since a lot of your time of self-discovery was spent being a superhero and grieving the loss of your parents, you had never really even masturbated, you didn’t know a lot that you should.

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, no, baby. You’re good. Feels good.”

“You’ve been quiet.”

“Sorry, honey. I was thinking about what I heard some of the other girls saying after their first time. You’re being so gentle.” You smiled at him, sitting up on the elbow that didn’t have a hand in Peter’s hair.

He smiled back up at you, pressing his one finger in a little further. “Of course I am, princess. I love you, I wanna take care of you.”

You gripped his hair a little tighter as he did, before releasing it and letting your fingers just play with the curls. “Thank you. Will you let me take care of you too?”

“Of course I will.” He told you, kissing your hip bone as he did.

“KIDS!” There was pounding on Peter’s door.

“Don’t come in here!” You both exclaimed.

Steve, Sam, and Clint all burst through the door at once, and Peter threw himself on top of you so they wouldn’t see anything. “Woah, what the fuck!”

“We said ‘don’t come in here’!” You yelled at them while Peter busied himself with sucking a hickey on your neck.

“Are you even wearing-” Sam started.

“Get out! Whatever it is, you can wait 2 minutes for us to get dressed.” The three nodded, backed out of the room, and shut the door. You pushed Peter off you lightly, “Another time, love. It’s okay.”

Peter stood up and passed you your clothes. “I know. We’ll figure it out.” He threw his shirt back on and turned around for you to get dressed.

You chuckled at his chivalry, “Peter, you’ve seen me naked.” You started putting your clothes back on as you watched his blush spread to his arms.

“KIDS!” Steve called again.

“We’re coming, Captain!” Peter responded. You clipped your bra behind your back and threw your shirt on over your head. 

You grabbed Peter’s hand and squeezed it lightly as you both walked out of his room. “We got this. It just wasn’t the right time.” 

He wrapped his arm around you, “Yeah, we got this, baby girl.” Peter told you, kissing your forehead. “You did good.”

“Please say that again.” 

“What?” He asked, pausing for a moment before it dawned on him. “Oh, you wanna be my good girl?” Peter whispered in your ear.

“Please.” You whimpered softly. 

“Please what, kiddo?” Sam asked as you both walked into the meeting room where everyone else was.

“Please get me out of this boring meeting before it’s even started.” You fired back.

“Normally we wouldn’t have interrupted you, kiddos.” Tony started.

“Especially knowing what the two of you were doing.” Bucky interjected.

“But we have some news.” Tony finished.

“Y/N, we’ve found the people who killed your parents.” Steve said. 

Your face dropped and quickly contorted into anger from the sarcastic smirk it had been in moments earlier. “What?”

“Yeah, we’re heading out in the morning to take care of them.” You stormed out of the room and went to god-knows-where, to work out your anger. 

Peter went to follow you, but stopped in the doorway before leaving, “Captain, do you have any idea what we were doing before you walked in?” He asked.

“Yeah, kid, I do.” Steve replied softly.

“Do you now have any idea what Y/N/N is gonna associate that with?” He continued.

“Is that really all you’re worried about, Peter? Sex?” Clint asked.

“Of course not!” He shouted. “I’m worried about Y/N! I’m always worried about Y/N! She was already not in a great headspace, happy that I was actually gonna take care of her instead of what most guys do at our age! She heard from other girls that the guy essentially just uses them as a tool to get off instead of caring about them and giving them pleasure! And now she’s gonna be slipping into the headspace she’s in now every time we go to do anything because she’s gonna go from flirty to angry because she’s gonna associate flirting to immediately followed by bad news! And who’s gonna have to pick up the pieces? Me! Because none of you give enough shits to take care of her!” Peter stormed out, following you and asking JARVIS to find you.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, JARVIS woke you and Peter up early so you could get ready for the mission. You spent the half an hour before breakfast grumbling about needing a mission today, being interrupted last night, somebody just had to surface last fucking night from killing your parents three fucking years ago, and many more things Peter couldn’t make out. You were not having a good morning.

“Hey kiddo.” Steve said softly, sitting next to you on the jet. “I’m sorry about last night. We should’ve waited until after or this morning.”

“It’s alright, Captain. I understand it needed to be said.” You replied, trying to not spend the entire plane ride crying.

Peter pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry as well, Captain. I shouldn’t have blown up at any of you last night. So, I’m sorry too.” He paused to sniffle. “The death of Y/N’s parents hit us both hard, and hearing that their killers resurfaced in a moment where we were already emotional didn’t make things better.”

Clint knelt at your feet and grabbed both your hands. “We shouldn’t have sprung anything on you last night. We’re all sorry. Next time you two are getting to it, JARVIS won’t let any of us interrupt you.”

“It’s being called the “BOOOOONE?!” protocol.” JARVIS said, playing the clip of Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. This caused you both to start chuckling, you into watery laughs and Peter giggling in a much higher register than normal.

~~~~~~~~~~

When the jet landed, you were the last one out, right behind Peter. The plan was- actually, there wasn’t a plan, you were just gonna storm the place and kick ass. Most importantly, you were going to kick ass. Somebody was gonna pay.

“Y/N L/N,” someone said from behind you as you all entered the building. “Daughter of Agent Y/D/N L/N and Agent Y/M/N L/N.” You and Peter turned around. “Girlfriend of Spiderman, official Avenger, and top of her graduating class at Midtown High.” The shadowy person continued. [Your Dad’s Name and Your Mom’s Name]

“Wait, I thought I was top of the class.” Peter said.

You sighed softly, “Nope, I was.”

“We’ve been watching you, Y/N. Or do you prefer Shadow now?” You felt Tony’s metal hand at your back and you knew all the Avengers were behind you as you faced this mysterious figure.

“Who are you?” You asked, taking a step back. The person took a step into the light, they were wearing a hood so you couldn’t see their face, but you recognized their build from somewhere. This was someone you knew at some point.

“I’m your worst nightmare, kiddo.” They said, walking to a computer you hadn’t noticed and pulling up security footage. “Did anyone ever tell you how your parents died?”

“On a mission, they were infiltrating a HYDRA base.” You said softly.

While clicking on the computer mouse, his hood fell off. It was your dad’s best friend from when you were little, but why couldn’t you remember his name? He pushed you and Peter on the swings, babysat when your parents were on date night, it was- “Uncle Brock?”

“Rumlow?” Steve asked gruffly at the same time you did.

“Surprise, kiddo. I told you, worst nightmare stuff here.” He continued clicking, and eventually a video popped up on the wall next to him.

“Daddy?” You said softly as his face popped up on the screen.

“Sweetheart, if you’re seeing this, then I am so sorry. I lied to you, this mission was always risky, and your mom and I aren’t gonna make it back. I know I gave you false hope, but I couldn’t leave without making you smile one last time. I hope you and Peter are happy, he’s always been able to make you smile. If I don’t make it back, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. Uncle Brock, he’s been a double agent this whole time, he works for HYDRA, and has been taking everything from SHIELD and using it to take us down.” It was at this point that Bucky pulled a gun on him, remembering him from his HYDRA days. “And your mom, sweetie. I’m so sorry, I made a bad choice. Your mom works for HYDRA too, sweetheart. I tried as hard as I could to protect you, but this mission is gonna go south since my entire circle of trust has lied to me this whole time. I’m going in blind on this one, and I’m not gonna make it back, for your birthday or anything else. I love you, sweetheart. Take care of yourself, and take care of Peter too. I know she doesn’t always show it, but your mom loves you too. I love you, sweetheart.” Your dad kissed his fingers and then held them to the camera, which he always did when you video called him on long missions. The camera shut off, and some footage from a different camera popped up after.

“How could you?” Your dad asked Uncle Brock, who had him chained to a wall. “How could you do this to Y/N? You know it’s her birthday this week, and I promised I’d make it back.”

“Don’t tell me you’re actually still a true SHIELD agent?”

“Of course I am! SHIELD and the Avengers are doing what’s right! Playing both sides of the field is cheating, and I know that’s not the only cheating you’ve been doing. Either of you! You should both be ashamed of yourselves.” He shouted as your mom walked into view.

“How did you find out?” She said.

Your dad chuckled, “Even Stark’s noticed the longing looks you send towards each other, and he’s the least observant person I’ve ever met. You could let me just take Y/N and leave, and then you two can be happy. It’s not like you ever actually showed any affection towards her. You at least pretended, Brock. But you, Y/M/N? I didn’t know a mother could be so cold to her own flesh and blood.” 

Any conversation from there was muted, or there wasn’t any. You couldn’t tell, as you watched your mother shoot your father in the leg. After that, you watched as Brock Rumlow shot your mother in the heart and then head, followed by your father. He then shot himself in the leg, presumably as an alibi to feed to Fury when he was the only one left standing.

“You killed my dad.” You said, dropping to your knees in tears. “But you pushed me and Peter on the swings, you babysat us when May and Ben were working and Daddy was taking Mom out for date night. Daddy trusted you! You were his best friend and you killed him! He- we- we were gonna build a giant blanket fort and watch movies and play video games. Mom couldn’t get the day off, so Daddy was gonna take me to Coney Island, and we were gonna play all the games. We were gonna do everything like my birthdays when I was little.” You sniffled. “But it wasn’t that Mom couldn’t get the day off, was it? She didn’t want the day off. Because she didn’t want me. Because she wanted to spend time with you!” You yelled.

Peter knelt next to you, wrapping his arms around you. “It’s okay, princess. Let it out.”

“Daddy promised to be home for my birthday, yet I spent my birthday planning his fucking funeral! Do you know how many 15 year olds have to plan their parents' funerals on their birthday, with only help from my best friend- my boyfriend, and Daddy’s co-workers? Nobody! Because nobody is cruel enough to kill both parents of a 14 year old girl, while sleeping with her mother for who knows how many goddamn years, days before her birthday while knowing that they made a promise to come back! 

“Daddy promised that he was coming back, that it would be a short mission. In and out, get the information and leave. And now I know how long those missions take! I’ve done those missions by myself! He should’ve been home hours, days before you got off that plane with your fake-ass sad face and your self-inflicted bullet wound! You pretended to have to be the bearer of bad news, but you are the reason he’s dead! You are the reason Daddy didn’t see me graduate! You are the reason Daddy doesn’t know that I got into NYU! You are the reason that I wake up in cold sweats at night, having dreamt about Daddy getting off that plane with you, not in the urn. YOU KILLED MY DAD!” You screamed, sobbing into Peter’s suit. 

You pulled your gun out of its holster and shot until you ran out of bullets. One hit the computer monitor ‘Uncle Brock’ had been working with, one embedded itself in the wall the screen was located on, and four landed across Brock’s torso, bringing him to his knees.

“Get her out of here, Queens.” Bucky said, placing a hand on Peter’s back. “We’ll take it from here.”

Peter quickly swung you back to the jet, and pulled the mask off you use to hide your face from cameras and enemies. “Princess?” He asked softly, pulling his own mask off. “Can I get you anything?” You shook your head, he webbed you some Gatorade out of the mini-fridge Tony kept, just in case of emergency. “Drink, you’re probably really dehydrated.” You took the Gatorade from him and sipped at it slowly, silently thanking Peter.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a week later when you finally got out of bed yourself for something other than to use the bathroom or shower. You were still carrying around Ruby, as the last thing your dad had gotten you that was sentimental. And you were cuddled up in one of Peter’s hoodies, but you were wearing your dad’s old socks, rotating through a few pairs he always wore in the winter when the house got cold. You wandered into the main room of the Compound, knowing that that’s where everyone would be. You had sent Peter away a few hours earlier, knowing that he was hungry, and was probably tired of sitting in dark silence other than your sobs for about a week.

“Hey, kiddo.” Clint said softly. “What are you doing here? Did you need something? Did you want Peter back?” He asked. 

You shook your head and wrapped him in a hug. “I’m so sorry.” Those three words came out of your mouth, but they were barely audible.

“Kiddo, you don’t need to apologize for anything.” He said, picking you up. “You’re going through the entire grief process again, knowing what really happened has reopened up all the old wounds. You’re grieving, kiddo, and it’s okay.”

“You never should’ve been on that mission with us. We never should’ve said anything about it.” Tony said softly, having paused their TV show when they noticed you walk in. “Not that you can’t handle it, kiddo, but everyone knows how I reacted when I found out Barnes killed my parents. And he was brainwashed.”

You nodded. “I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that Mom never loved me. It was obvious in hindsight with how cold she always was, diminishing my achievements, and taking extra shifts whenever she could. But to shoot Daddy, to work for both HYDRA and SHIELD, to cheat on Daddy with Uncle Brock for years.. how could she do that to him?”

~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until three days later that you finally went outside again, but you got Tony to drive you to where you sprinkled your dad’s ashes. You hadn’t been in years, and you hated going anywhere with dead bodies, ironic that you’re an Avenger. Tony had had a bench made for your dad specifically, since you just put your mom’s body in the ground. You sat on the bench and talked to your dad for a while, knowing that he wouldn’t couldn’t respond. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It was another 2 weeks when Peter realized he’d never seen you deal with a period. Ever. You grew up together, ran around the neighbourhood for years, slept over at each other’s places. Yet he had never heard you mention anything to MJ or Aunt May about period stuff. So he asked you.

“Princess?” He asked softly one day while you were watching some dumb Netflix comedy together. 

“Yeah, love?” You said, pausing the TV.

“Why haven’t you ever said anything about having a period?”

“Oh, well, I’ve never had one.” You said, “I suppose I can’t complain too much, I hear they’re killer.”

“You’ve never had one? And you never thought to get anything checked out?”

“It never occurred to me. But you’re right, that probably means there’s something wrong.”

So off the two of you went to go find Doctor Cho, who stopped in every now and again as the official doctor of the Avengers. “You’ve never had a period?” She asked, incredulously. 

“Uh, no?” You responded, watching as she pulled up your medical files.

“It looks like your mother authorized a very invasive surgery when you were a small child to almost completely remove or destroy your reproductive organs. Y/N, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you can’t ever have kids.”

“Huh, so Mom really didn’t want the bloodline continued. I mean, that’s fine, I don’t really want kids anyways, but making the option myself might have been nice. I wonder if Daddy knew about it.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks after you found out you could never have kids, was when you told the rest of the team. Maybe during family dinner wasn’t the best idea.

“You’ve been oddly quiet, Y/N.” Steve said. “Do you wanna say something?”

“I can’t have kids.” You blurted out.

Everyone broke out yelling. “What do you mean, doll?” Bucky said, always the voice of reason.

“Peter pointed out that I’ve never talked about a period or anything, so I told him I’d never had one. He found it weird, and that was when I realized that something was up. So we went to talk to Doctor Cho, and apparently Mom almost completely removed or destroyed all my reproductive organs, without Daddy’s consent, as Pete and I discovered after looking into it. So, I essentially cannot have biological kids. Mom hated me so much at like 4 that she never wanted me to have the option to continue the bloodline.” You said, using humour as your coping mechanism at this point.

“Oh, kiddo.” Nat said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “If you need to talk to anyone about it, you can come to me. I know what it’s like to discover you don’t have bodily autonomy anymore.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until a month later, after plenty of conversations between you and Nat about your lack of reproductive organs, that you felt you were finally in a good place mentally (after Doctor Cho got you on some anxiety meds.) After the summer you had, you had started at NYU with Peter, and you were both praised in all your classes for already having jobs with two of the most prestigious scientists in the world, plus all your work was excellent. Tony and Bruce had allowed you both to work less, since you had both made it on full-ride scholarships, so you only had a few hours each through the week, and then Avenging if something came up. For the most part, you had your weekends off. It did come as a surprise to Peter one Friday date night though, when you came down in the prettiest dress he had ever seen you wear.

“How about we skip the moonlit picnic and go straight to dessert?” You had offered softly.

“How about that?” He tugged at his collar lightly. “Yeah, let’s do that, princess.”

The two of you stumbled back up to his room, where you had essentially moved yourself into over the past couple of months since you had moved into the Compound. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, Peter.” You told him, seriously, pulling him in for a searing kiss and falling back onto the bed. “JARVIS, initiate ‘BONE’ protocol.”

“‘BOOOOONE’ protocol initiated, Miss L/N, you and Mr. Parker will not be bothered.” JARVIS responded as usual, playing the Captain Holt clip again. You and Peter chuckled softly before essentially ripping each others’ clothes off, Peter sucked some marks down your torso and slipped a hand between your thighs.

“Is it okay if I touch you?” He asked.

“Yes, please, love.” You said, spreading your legs a little further. 

Peter slipped the tip of his middle finger into you, and you placed a hand on his chest to slow him down. “Are you alright?”

“Just give it a minute, you know it feels kinda weird still.” You told him softly, pulling him in for another kiss. After Peter broke the kiss, he looked at you, and you nodded. He slid his finger a little further in, and you gasped slightly in pleasure. “Oh, fuck, Peter.”

“Love?”

“No, more, please. I’m alright. It feels so good.” Peter carefully added his ring finger in addition to his middle finger and you closed your eyes and threw your head back.

“Good girl.” He muttered appreciatively, and you whimpered in pleasure. “We both have praise kinks?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “we do.” Peter pulled his fingers out a little and slid them back in slowly. “Again, please.” You said, Peter did it again. “You’re so good, Peter.”

Peter shivered in pleasure, “Am I?” He asked softly.

You reached down and stroked his dick softly in response, “Yeah, love, you are.” He groaned, you slid one finger along the bottom of his dick before reaching up to kiss him. “Is this gonna fit?”

“Yeah, baby girl. We’re gonna find a way to make it fit. I’ll go slow.” Peter told you, slowly sliding his pointer finger alongside the other two. He started pumping them in and out of you, like you had requested before.

“Oh, God.”

Peter chuckled. “Nope, just me, love.” He kept pumping his fingers a little faster.

“Oh, fuck. Peter, I-”

“Yeah, princess? You gonna cum?” Peter asked.

You moaned, “Yeah, yeah. Pete, I’m gonna- fuckin’ love you. Best fucking boyfriend in the world. Fuckin’ close, please.” You continued to babble as Peter softly fucked you with his fingers.

“You don’t need my permission, baby girl. If you’re gonna cum, go ahead.” With his words, you tumbled over the edge, clenching your muscles, arching your back, bucking your hips into Peter’s hand, and throwing your head backwards.

“Fuckkkkk.” You moaned.

“So beautiful, so good, cumming for me, love.” Peter continued to praise you as you were coming down from your high, stopping the movement of his fingers. When you opened your eyes again, you looked up to see Peter above you. “Hi.” He said.

“Hey.” You replied softly. 

“Are you good?” He asked.

You chuckled. “I’ve never been better, love.” You told him, reaching out to stroke his dick, just to find it rock hard. “Oh, honey. You happy to see me or something?”

“You should’ve seen your face, princess.” He bucked his hips into your hand softly, pulling his fingers out of you. You whimpered and squeezed him a little tighter by accident. “Baby girl,” he groaned, “Please, fuck, can I be inside you?”

“Yes.” You said, guiding him between your legs. 

“You’re clean, right? Because I am.” Peter said.

“Of course I am, you’re the only one I’ve ever been with.” Peter took over from there, slowly sliding the first bit into you. “Oh my God.”

“Can I keep going?” He asked. “Fuck, please let me keep going, baby girl.”

“Don’t stop, Pete. Please don’t stop.”

Peter slowly entered the rest of his dick into you and rested his forehead on your collarbone. “Fuck.” He said, sucking a mark there.

“Feel so fucking full.” You said, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to keep him where he was. “Could stay like this forever, Pete.”

“KIDS!!!” You both heard someone shout.

You also heard JARVIS’ reply. “I’m sorry, Sergeant Barnes. ‘BOOOOONE’ protocol has been initiated. Mr. Parker and Ms. L/N are not to be bothered.”

Bucky started laughing his head off, “Alright JARVIS, tell them to have fun.”

“Ms.-”

“We heard him, J, thanks.” You said, wrapping your legs around Peter’s waist. “Please. Move, love.”

Peter pulled out a little before pushing back in. “I love you so much.” He whispered, brushing his nose against yours.

“I love you too. Keep going.” Peter slipped one of his hands between the two of you, and slid it lower and lower until you gasped in pleasure.

“There it is..” Peter mumbled, kissing you again.

You started babbling again, “Peter, I- fuck, gonna- I’m gonna- please.”

“Yeah, I know, princess. I’m gonna too.” He told you, his soft thrusts getting sloppier. “C’mon, baby girl. You don’t need permission.”

You arched your back into Peter’s chest and threw your head back again. “Peter, I- gonna-”

“Go ahead, love. I’m right here.” You tumbled over the edge again, gasping Peter’s name as you went. “Oh, baby girl.” He groaned. “Can- can I cum inside you?”

Coming back down from your high, you were able to respond to him. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Pete. Please.”

Peter only had to thrust a couple more times before he was cumming, he stilled his hips and placed his elbows on either side of your head, resting his weight on top of them. “How was that?” He asked you, breathless.

“Amazing. You did so good, love.” You kissed him gently, pushing at his chest a little. “You gotta get up though.”

“Why? Am I hurting you?” He asked, panicky. “But you did good too, princess. So good for me, like always.”

“You’re not hurting me, Pete. You’re supposed to pee after sex so you don’t get a UTI. And we should get cleaned up.” You yawned. “And maybe take a nap before we go deal with Buck.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, after you were both showered and well-rested, you went to find Bucky, since neither of you had the energy to look for him last night.

“Sergeant Barnes?” You asked, coming into the kitchen for your coffee. “Did you need us?”

Bucky only smirked at you, “No, I heard someone say that they never saw the two of you leave for date night, so I came looking. I guess that protocol came in handy after all, didn’t it?” He asked.

“Well.. yeah.” You said.

“Protocol? Which protocol? We have a million of them that affect Peter and Y/N.” Tony asked, coming up from the lab for more coffee.

“You only have one that’s a ‘do not disturb’ protocol.” Sam said, smirking alongside Bucky.

“Kiddo, the two of you?” Tony asked again. You blushed, looked down at the floor and nodded. 

Peter came up next to you and kissed the side of your head. “Good morning, baby girl.”

“Mornin’ baby.” You said, still blushing.

“What’s up with you?”

“They uh- they know we had a protocol initiated last night.” You told him, not nearly awake enough to be dealing with this without coffee. 

As you were fixing it up for you and Peter, you felt his arms encircle your waist. “What’s so wrong with them knowing? It means we aren’t interrupted.”

Sam choked on his coffee, “Are those scratch marks?” He asked.

“Uh, no?” You asked in response, trying to remember where your arms had been last night. “My arms were around Peter’s shoulders and my hands primarily sat at the back of his head.” You were thinking aloud, but it gave the 3 men standing there all the information they needed.

“Did you top?!” Tony exclaimed.

“Nope.” Peter stated, turning you around, boxing you against the counter lightly by putting his hands on either side of you, and kissing you. 

You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, “You know, baby, I don’t think they need a visual.” The collar of Peter’s shirt that you were wearing dipped, and everyone in the room was able to see the amount of marks Peter had left across your shoulder blades and collarbones.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Bucky asked. 

You glanced down and shook your head, dragging Peter back down the hall with you. “JARVIS?” They heard you say.

“Yes, Ms. L/N?”

“Initiate ‘BONE’ protocol.” The three of them started laughing, until they could hear you swearing from there.

“Hey, J?” Tony asked.

“Yes, Mr. Stark?”

“Remind me to add soundproofing Peter’s room to the ‘BONE’ protocol.”

..UHHHHHHHHH, so this was much longer than originally anticipated. It was supposed to be a short Peter Parker x Reader smut, and there is so much fucking plot in this. I’m so sorry. I’m also sorry if I made you cry in the middle somewhere, but I made myself cry writing this, so I don’t even know how sorry to be. While I did have Tom Holland’s Peter Parker in mind while writing this, you could use any of the three since it’s not specified, except Peter is a freshly graduated high school student, so do with that what you will.

[beetlegoose01]

The Problem with Rise Apriltello

An analysis by Pepperimp01, aka Char, aka me 

Well, it’s been a total of about a week since I last pissed off the Rise of the TMNT fandom, so I suppose I better do it again. 

I’d like to clarify before I begin that I will not be comparing Rise Apriltello to any past Apriltello versions (mainly 2012), because it seems irrelevant to talk about it. Whatever your opinion on that ship, does not apply here. Good? Good! 

Uh, spoilers for Rise btw. 

I’d also like to start by saying I adore Rise April. She is probably my favorite character overall in Rise. I love her personality, her design, her growth, and her character development that ends with her becoming a Hamato. It actually makes me tear up every time she has the final moment with Karai.

My issue with Apriltello has little to do with her, actually. To be honest, the idea of her being childhood friends with the turtles is adorable and makes my heart melt to think about. My problem is actually with Donnie. 

(If you're a Rise Donnie stan, I beg you to read the entire thing before you harass me,,,, again)

Donnie is not a good friend. 

When I was first in the fandom, I really loved Rise Donnie and April’s friendship. I thought it was such a nice change of pace from the past TMNT verse to have them just be cool buds instead of awkward love interests. And at first, I was right. Early on, in the episodes War and Pizza and the Purple Jacket respectively, Donnie goes out of his way to help April, even putting himself in danger to do so. 

Unfortunately in the latter episode, Donnie also proceeds to blame April for his own mistakes. She did warn him in the beginning about the Purple Dragons, and he ignored her for his own selfish reasons. Donnie, we all know can’t admit when he’s wrong and has an ego larger than his forehead as his only personality trait, so I guess that should be expected. 

“April: I warned you about those guys.

Donnie: You said they were full of themselves not that they were criminal masterminds. So in a small sense, this is entirely your fault.” 

-The Purple Game

This example is relatively minor and was a joke so I’m not going to harp too much about it. However, there is one episode that still bugs me and that is Donnie Vs. Witch Town. 

My god. Donnie is at his worst in this episode (and that’s saying something considering he's selfish and insufferable for most of the series). All April wanted to do was visit Witch Town and get help on her project. Instead of supporting his supposed best friend, Donnie proceeded to act like a jealous boyfriend and sulk the entire time, even sabotaging everything for her. He mansplained and disrespected the witches, and even got April arrested for something HE did. He was the one who got her banned, it was entirely his fault and you know what? I’d maybe forgive it if he, I dunno, apologized? He apologized to the witches, sure, but he never apologized to April for ruining everything for her. 

No, apologizing is too much work for the “precious purple bean”, and he decided it would be a great idea to make it all about him.

“April: Why are you so obsessed with proving me wrong on this?

Donnie: Because, I’m the Science Guy! If mystic powers can do everything I can do but better, then why would you guys even need me?”

- Donnie vs Witch Town.

This is actually a really common manipulative tactic used to make the other person apologize, or alternatively, comfort the abuser. April should not have been the one to comfort him and he should not have gone on his “poor me” tangent. It’s really sad that Donnie actually showed more compassion towards a robot, rather than his best friend. At least with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N, he apologized. Too bad he can't do the same for April.

In conclusion? Raph should be April's best friend over Donnie.

I guess all we can hope is that Donnie will be better in the movie. Although if you saw my Andy and Russ callout post, that might not be likely.

[lipstickstainz]

touches - s.r.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader Summary: Spencer doesn’t like to be touched. But what happens, when he gets comfortable around you? Warnings: fluff, Spencer being cute, getting shot but nothing too explicit and oh, and a bucket full of angst Word Count: 4,4k  A/N: hello friends. I have a part two of this in my drafts if you like! I hope you enjoy. gif not mine.

You had heard a lot about the BAU team before joining them.

About the cases, the trust, the bond. It had always been something that had fascinated you. You had experienced some things with your previous team as well, but the BAU was in a whole different league.

Before you had been moved there, you had already familiarized yourself with the teammates. You didn't want to come unprepared to a team that knew each other inside and out. Also, you were a person who put your foot in your mouth quickly.

You were most impressed by Doctor Spencer Reid. You had heard the most about him. He was a genius, with an IQ of 187 and he could read 20,000 words a minute. Not to mention his eidetic memory. You had even read his doctoral dissertations. While you didn't understand everything, they were incredibly interesting and gave you a little insight into the mind of the spectacular Doctor Spencer Reid.

When you first met, you concentrated on not reaching out to him. You merely raised your hand to greet him, which he returned with a smile, and although he tried to hide it, you knew that this small gesture meant a lot to him.

While the other team members put their hand on his shoulder or ruffled his hair, you were almost tensely careful not to touch him. If he should want to, he would make the first move.

It happened some time later, as you stood side by side in the office kitchen. While Spencer poured himself a coffee, you poured hot water into your teacup. You asked him for the sugar that was next to him, and instead of sliding it over to you as you had been doing, he held the dispenser out to you. You reached for it and when your fingers brushed his, it went through you like an electric shock. You suddenly felt warm and your heart beat faster, but Spencer didn't seem to notice. He smiled at you before walking back to his seat. You looked after him.

After that incident, you were both a little more relaxed. While you didn't push it, Spencer didn't seem to mind you handing him files or touching each other briefly when you sat next to each other. After an incident on the plane, even the team noticed.

Spencer was on his way to the trash can when you got up to sit with Emily and Hotch to discuss the current case. You squeezed past each other as the plane made an unexpected swerve. You tried to grab onto the seat next to you, but the sway was too sudden. Before you could fall, Spencer grabbed your arm with one hand and your hip with the other and held you tight. He pulled you straight toward him so you wouldn't land face down on the ground. Even when the plane was back on course, he didn't let go. As you tried to regain control of your irregular breathing from the shock, Spencer looked at you closely. You felt his gaze on you, almost burning into your forehead, but neither said a word. As you broke away from each other and each sat down in your seat, you noticed his gaze still on you. When you looked up, he looked away.

Next came your birthday. Even though you didn't want to celebrate and your real plan was to have food delivered and watch your favorite movie for the hundredth time, the team dragged you to a bar. "Pathetic," Derek had called the plan, and you had punched him affectionately in the shoulder, but by the time he put the first drink in your hand, you had all but forgotten his comment. While some of you sat at a table and the rest enjoyed themselves on the dance floor, you sat at the bar. You did love your team, but on your birthday you didn't want to hear about any cases outside of work. Which couldn't be avoided when you were around each other 24/7.

You sipped your drink, secretly cursing Derek for having so much alcohol in it. You scrunched your nose.

"Did you know that alcohol tastes different when you drink it with a straw?" Spencer asked, sitting down in the empty chair next to you. You turned to him and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "When we ingest something, the aroma molecules go up our nose and we can tell from the start whether it's going to taste good or not. Also, the nose detects different flavors than the tongue. So if you drink the drink with the straw so the glass is farther away from your nose, you'll perceive the taste of the drink differently than it is." Even in the dim light of the bar, you could see how red he was getting. When you didn't answer, he laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry, I was rambling again."

You took another sip of your drink. "Don't apologize, Spencer. I like that you're so smart. And I like that you're comfortable enough to want to share your knowledge with me," you smiled gently at him. He returned your smile.

"I appreciate you not reaching out to me then, by the way," he confessed, nibbling on the label of his beer bottle. "I don't like shaking hands with strangers, and it makes me uncomfortable when I'm expected to but I don't. So, thanks for that."

"It's okay," you said, but he let go of his bottle and turned to you completely.

"You never pushed me to do this. You waited for me to make the first move on this because it means more to me than it does to you. There aren't many who are that respectful and understanding." He got up from his chair, but left the beer bottle on the counter. He held out his arms. "I haven't wished you a happy birthday yet because I didn't want to do it in front of the team. They'd make a big deal out of it." He gestured for you to give him a hug. He actually wanted to hug you.

"Spencer, you don't have to do this," you said, but before you knew it, he had grabbed your hand and pulled you off the chair, right into his arms.

You had often imagined what a hug from Spencer would be like, especially when you saw him hug JJ or Emily after a hard case. But you had imagined it differently.

He had his arms wrapped around your waist and held you so close that you almost couldn't breathe. You felt his long fingers on your skin, despite your T-shirt and you felt his warm breath on your neck and his curls on your temple. Goosebumps spread over your body and you prayed he didn't notice. "Happy birthday," he whispered in your ear and before you knew it, he placed his lips on your cheek before pulling away from you. Smiling, he reached for his beer and sauntered back over to the table, leaving you standing at the bar. With a pounding heart and fire in your veins. And in that moment, you just thought that work colleagues, or even maybe friends, shouldn't feel that way about each other.

After your birthday, it was no longer an issue for Spencer. Under the table, he'd nudge you with his knee if you weren't paying attention for a second, or he'd put his hand on your shoulder when he looked over you at the computer screen. He also didn't mind if you were so exhausted from a case that you fell asleep by his side on the plane, with your head on his shoulder. You didn't realize it, but JJ had pointed out that Spencer always pulled you a little closer then, resting his cheek against the top of your head. For him, the constant touching was no longer an issue.

For you, it was. Every time his skin brushed yours, you felt warm and your heart skipped a beat. Whether it was at dinner, at a briefing, or just walking by. But it was bearable.

It got bad when he touched you longer. On particularly hard cases, he had taken to looking under the table for your hand and squeezing it twice. It was a gesture of friendship and care. If you held each other, nothing could happen to you. On the plane, you always sat next to each other, playing cards or absorbed in your own thoughts. Spencer, however, got into the habit of putting your legs over one of his if you had to fly for a particularly long time. At first, the team gave you strange looks, which made you uncomfortable, but didn't bother Spencer in the least. So you tried not to let on, which was pretty difficult when you were surrounded by profilers. Flames blazed in your veins at those touches, heat tingled under your skin where he touched you, and when he pulled you into his arms on certain occasions, you almost felt dizzy.

This is not how you should feel about your best friend.

"Thales, Miletus, here's your key," Hotch said, tossing Spencer the room key as the team checked into the hotel. He'd resisted at first the nickname Garcia had picked out for you - classically, after the discoverer of magnetism - but since everyone was using it, even the earnest Hotch had given up on it. "Prentiss, JJ, your room is right next to ours." The two women nodded and the four of them walked down the corridor while Derek was kind enough to take the girls' bags.

You couldn't look after them for long, because Spencer had already grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers. "Come on. Our room is waiting."

You had never shared a room. You'd either always had your own, or shared one with Emily or JJ, but never with Spencer. You wouldn't mind so much if you weren't into him. Hopefully there were two beds. On opposite walls. Far away from each other.

When Spencer unlocked the door and you entered, you wanted to sink into the floor. Double bed. One blanket. You tried to mentally prepare yourself for the stay by setting your bag down on a chair and stopping in the middle of the room while your best friend inspected it. He didn't seem to notice that you had only one bed and, more importantly, only one blanket. At least, it didn't bother him.

When you returned to the room that evening, you went straight to the bathroom and took a shower. The water was as cold as you could stand it. It was supposed to cool you down and prepare you for the night. It wasn't every day that you shared a bed with your crush. After combing your hair and changing, you slipped under the covers and tried to fall asleep as quickly as possible so you wouldn't notice Spencer's presence next to you when he came out of the bathroom.

Your thoughts cheated on you. What if you snuggled up to each other in your sleep at night? Or you would unconsciously snuggle up to him, but he didn't want you to? Then you'd have to get another room tomorrow. And it would get so awkward that you wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Spencer finally as he climbed into bed next to you. Immediately, you felt his warmth. He hadn't taken a cold shower, apparently.

"It's always hard when kids are involved," you answered truthfully. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't what was floating around in your mind either.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms. Hesitantly, you slid closer to him so there was still space between you, but it didn't seem close enough for Spencer. After he turned out the light, he pulled you close enough for you to rest your head on his shoulder and with his free hand, he reached for yours and intertwined your fingers again. Your heart stopped. "We can do this, Y/N. We've done it all so far." You heard his heartbeat beneath you, felt his breath on your hair, and the warmth of his body burned into your skin. "Try to get some sleep. We'll know more tomorrow," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you fell asleep.

When you woke up in the morning, you felt Spencer behind you. His chest was pressed against your back, his arm was wrapped tightly around your middle, and he had his face buried in your neck. Immediately goosebumps spread all over your body. You tried to pull away from him a little, but he pulled you even closer. Spencer was still asleep, so he didn't notice how he carefully slid his hand under your shirt and how his long fingers danced over your soft skin. You held your breath, afraid to move or give away your racing heartbeat. At one point he pulled his arm back and turned onto his back before lifting his hand and rubbing his eyes. His hair stood out in all directions and he smiled sleepily. You were getting hot.

"Good morning, Y/N." Good morning indeed.

The case took longer than planned, though of course you can't plan a case. After the third night, you had gotten used to sleeping next to Spencer, but the cuddling worried you. The longer you shared that room, the more complicated your feelings became. It was almost unbearable.

Derek, Emily, Spencer and you found the unsub in a remote car yard. While the latter surveyed the building, Derek and you looked around the yard.

"What's going on between you and Reid, anyway?" he asked curiously. You gave him a meaningful look, but he didn't care. "It's come to all of our attention. You guys are inseparable, he has to touch you all the time, and those looks."

"What looks?" you probed, trying to sound as unsuspecting as possible. This time Derek was looking at you. So he had noticed. And if Derek knew, so did the others. Fucking profilers.

"Y/N," he started, and stopped. When you turned to him, he twisted his mouth into a weak smile. It was a very different Derek who stood before you. Not the go-getter who sometimes made fun of Spencer. He seemed genuinely worried, and that made you nervous. "Friends don't look at friends that way."

A loud bang rang through the air and the conversation was all but forgotten. You took cover and communicated via hand signals. Quietly, you moved forward. It wasn't long before you saw a figure running away behind the cars. "We got him," Derek said into the mic, and together you dashed toward the unsub. He ran toward the woods and disappeared. Derek looked at you and nodded. You split up.

Gun drawn, you ran forward. Leaves crunched beneath you, but you tuned that out. You focused on the birds above you, the shadows of the trees, and the gun in your hand. He had to be here somewhere.

You didn't even startle when you felt cold metal against the back of your head. "Don‘t. Move." You took your fingers off the trigger and raised your arms. "Put the gun down. Vest off." Slowly, you bent down and placed both on the ground. The only thing you could think about was that you would hopefully find them later. "Walk.“ With your hands clasped behind your head, you took one step at a time. Derek was nowhere to be seen. You wished you hadn't split up.

He led you to a rundown cabin in the woods that wasn't marked on any map, which is why you couldn't have known about it. He pushed you inside and closed the door behind him, his gun still pointed at you. "If you had wanted to kill me, you would have done it long ago," you gave out, but he didn't go for it. It was a game of fire. You knew the file and what he was capable of.

It was only a few moments before someone kicked open the door and Derek stormed into the cabin, closely followed by Spencer. "Put the gun down and keep your hands off," Derek yelled. Up until then, you hadn't realized that the he had pulled you close and was holding the barrel of his gun right to your temple You only had eyes for Spencer, who was deliberately not looking at you.

You tried to get his attention, but he wouldn't budge. You raised a hand and moved it toward your shoulder, hoping Spencer understood your message. But he wasn't looking at you.

Look at me, Spencer. Come on. Look. At. Me.

His eyes moved from the unsub to your fingers, tapping a spot in your shoulder. You repeated this until he finally looked you in the eye. Then he shook his head, barely perceptibly. Again you tapped the spot. If Spencer shot through your shoulder, he would hit the perpetrator in the torso, and even if the bullet slowed down through you, it would still do enough damage. And you were willing to take the risk.

But Spencer didn't shoot. And time was running out for you. "I trust you," you said, no sound escaping your lips. He gritted his teeth. "I trust you, Spencer. Do it."

And then he shot.

-

"Welcome back, sunshine," Derek grinned, wrapping you in his muscular arms as you entered the office. "We've all missed you."

It had been three months since you had been shot in the field. Spencer had shot you through the shoulder as planned, and you were right. The perpetrator was shot and the rest of the victims were found. So it was almost a happy ending.

Almost. Of course, you had to listen to a few more things from Hotch on the way to the hospital. You were tired of living and he was disappointed and angry, but incredibly relieved that nothing else had happened to you. You could have been the next victim, too.

"All of you?" you prodded, and Emily, who had joined you, screwed up her face.

"He's not back yet. He extended his vacation," she said, putting a hand on your shoulder. "He's not really over it yet."

You hadn't heard from Spencer since the incident. He hadn't visited you at the hospital, called you or been to your home after you were discharged. You were best friends and the fact that you hadn't seen him in three months hurt more than the gunshot wound. The only person Spencer talked to was JJ, but even she couldn't give you any information.

He probably blamed himself, but why? You had wanted him to shoot. It had been your plan. Besides, he had shot so well that you didn't suffer any permanent damage. He shouldn't worry about it.

It was strange to work a case without him. Not having him near you. Not being able to feel his warmth. You tried to reach him, by phone, by letter, but you got no answer. Even though you hadn't spoken in months, he was your best friend and you were starting to get really worried. He had cut off contact with JJ himself.

When you walked into the office one morning, you were almost breathless. Spencer was standing at his desk, leaning against it, and the others were standing around him. But you had no eyes for them. Spencer was back. Your Spencer was back. As you walked toward them, you got a sinking feeling. He looked good. Changed, but good. His hair was a little shorter and he didn't look as pale as usual. He also seemed more confident and self-assured, which unfortunately made him even more attractive.

He didn't see you until you were almost in front of him. He smiled weakly at you before standing up straight. "Y/N," he said, and it felt so good to hear your name come out of his mouth. Immediately, goosebumps spread across your body. You expected him to give you a hug or insist on talking to you in person, because a lot had happened in the time without him, but he didn't. He turned around briefly and pulled something off his office chair. Not something. Someone. "This is my girlfriend, Vicky."

You didn't know what had happened in the last few months. Did you even want to know? Spencer hadn't contacted you in a long time, only to reappear with a girlfriend? You didn't understand the world anymore. The rest of the team must have felt the same way, because as you stood at your regular table in the bar, the couple was the only topic of conversation. In fact, you would have preferred all the murder cases.

"I'll be honest," Penelope said, taking a big gulp of her drink, which took quite a while since she always drank with a straw, "I was hoping you two would get together." She pointed her finger at you and then toward Spencer, who was standing at the bar with Vicky. You saw her run her finger through his hair and had to look away. Didn't she know he didn't like that?

"Hotch and I even bet money on it," Emily confessed, turning back towards the table. Apparently she didn't want to watch them either. "We would have gotten you a nice wedding present from that."

"He looks happy," you said, but you guessed that's not what the others wanted to hear from you. You sat at a table made up mostly of profilers. They knew exactly how you felt about the whole thing.

"Give it a rest," Derek said, putting his arm around your shoulder. Even the overly positive music in the background couldn't lighten your mood. "We all know how you feel about Spencer. And honestly, we thought he would feel the same way about you."

"But he doesn't, so please let it go," you shot back, instantly regretting it. Your friends weren't to blame for the whole situation. It was you. As you dared another look, Vicky pulled Spencer onto the dance floor, which you knew he didn't like either. Didn't she know him at all?

"I don't know what got into him," JJ confessed, sipping her Coke. "Those two don't even fit together." They didn't, but maybe that's why it worked. There was this theory that opposites attract, but you could never have imagined it with Spencer.

When Vicky grabbed Spencer by the tie and pulled him down so she could kiss him, your heart broke. It was different when you just knew two people were doing something. But when you saw it, all hope was lost. Even from a distance, you could see their tongues and you almost threw up.

"That's my sign," you said, pressing a kiss to Penelope's cheek. "See you." They all said goodbye to you and even over that awful music, you could still hear "It must hurt terribly to see him like that" and "I couldn't do that" as you walked.

Outside, the cold night air surprised you. It hit you in the face like a slap, but nothing hurt as much as knowing Spencer was happy without you. He didn’t need you and he didn't want you. That was fine, but that didn't mean you had to go along with it. Since he'd been back, he'd barely spoken to you. On the plane, he had sat at the other end of the room, and he had actually switched rooms at the hotel just so he wouldn't have to be near you. He'd even started shoving files back at you instead of handing them to you, like he'd burn if he touched you.

The lights in Hotch's office were still on when you came into the office. It was just after midnight and you knew he would still be there. When you knocked on his door, he invited you in. "What can I do for you?" He hadn't even had to ask. He knew why you were there. It was written on your forehead. "Are you sure about this? I'll write a recommendation, but only if you really want me to." You nodded silently. "It's because of him, isn't it?" he asked, his usually hard expression softening.

"Yes," you answered curtly. There was nothing to add.

"I'll make some calls. You get a week to pack. I'll call you tomorrow," he said, getting up from his desk. Surprisingly, he pulled you into his arms. "We're all going to miss you terribly, Y/N. And you're welcome here anytime."

It didn't take long for your things to be packed, and it didn't take long for the others to notice the following day. Your desk was empty, the files had been processed, the pictures of you and the team were gone, and your mug with a picture of Spencer and you on it that he had once given you was gone, too.

"Where is she?" asked Emily Derek, who didn't have an answer ready either. They looked around uncertainly and as the rest entered the bullpen, Hotch came out of his office. He looked like he hadn't slept. He walked down the steps and stood in the circle of confused team members. Even Spencer was puzzled.

"Agent Y/L/N left us last night," he began, sounding very composed. The others didn't know how to respond, so they just gave each other confused looks. "She has asked for a transfer and will start there next week. Please refrain from trying to talk her out of it. The transfer has gone through."

It took everyone by great surprise when Spencer dropped his bag and stormed out of the office. He didn't need to explain where he was going. It was obvious. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried to call you, but it went straight to voicemail. It wasn't long before he arrived at your complex and shot up the steps to your apartment. He took two steps at a time. He stopped in front of your door and pounded his fist against the wood, hoping you would open the door for him and explain what you were doing. When nothing happened, he dialed the number again. Again and again, until the voice in the phone said to him, this number was no longer in service.

He ran his hand through his hair before sliding down with his back to the door. He put his head between his knees and cursed himself.

You weren't there anymore.

part two

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being an Avenger with the power of persuasion

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: towards the end this branches off into the fatws timeline but there’s no explicit spoilers

prompt: anonymous: “Can you do hcs for the avengers with a reader who has powers like Allison Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy?”

the avengers were a little iffy about you because......someone with your power was hard to trust at first

“mind control isn’t as fun as it sounds, you guys. i really don’t wanna keep my guard up at all times when i’m at home base” -clint

“yeah, i’m not sure if i trust this one yet. i mean, i’m totally immune to mind control, but what if they mind control someone to come after me? and they have easy access to the place?” -tony

“excuse me, did you just say you were immune to mind control?” -nat

“he most certainly is not” -wanda

i mean, you get it and all. you heard stories of the avengers’ past encounters. it couldve messed them up

and they had no character references for you

you were new and mysterious

and your powers could be dangerous if you used them the wrong way

“well, i say we take a chance on them. they might surprise us” -cap

“i knew you would say some crap like that” -tony

“i thought a surprise was the opposite of what we wanted?” -bruce

you were put on the team soon after, but you had to have a buddy on missions

*pretending that we have deaf/hoh!clint like in the comics* you were buddied up with clint since your powers were auditory

“you can’t sign me an involuntary command, can you?” -clint

“no, sir” -you

“cool, cool, cool” -clint

stealth looked good on you, ngl

you were able to get behind heavy gunmen and whisper commands to them

“simon says you are an avenger now, shoot the enemy” -you

“simon says i am your new boss, take out your ex-coworkers” -you

“simon says give me your keycard” -you

“simon says i’m not the enemy, you are” -you

“not bad down there, y/n!” -sam

“thanks! now can somebody give me a lift to that one all the way up there?” -you

you proved yourself that day, so everyone got a lot more comfortable with you

and you made a promise that day that you’d never use your powers on them

but occasionally someone would ask you a simple favor, like putting them to sleep or making them focus on a project

“i think the focus one could be a fire hazard” -you

“so just come and get me! or let me die, that’d be fine, too” -tony

“whatever...simon says focus on the new tech” -you

time went by and things got tough, especially when the sokovia accords rolled in

“i wasn’t even there for that, mr. secretary” -you

“and i’m aware of that, mx. l/n, but you still pose a threat to people around the world. you have the means to walk into any place you want and do anything you want. you can see how that makes people uneasy, don’t you?” -ross

“i’ve never used my abilities for anything but good” -you

“what y/n is trying to say is—” -steve

“he knows what i’m trying to say, but apparently that’s the issue” -you

you were “grounded” with wanda

and pretty pissed about it

“i can understand why i’m here, y/n, but you? what did you do?” -wanda

“i intimidate men in charge, i guess” -you

sounds about right, huh?

but clint broke you out

“finallyyyyy! vision is such a drag” -you

and when you got to germany, you were conflicted with yourself

should you use your powers on the teammates who wanted you locked away?

if you got into their comms, you could stop it in an instant

but that’d take some time

“hi, simon(e)! i’m, uh, scott! i think you’re pretty neat!” -scott (p.s. y/n’s hero name is simon/simone. whatever you prefer idrc)

“thanks...and what do you do?” -you

“he shrinks!” -sam

you snuck out to the pavement and tried to hack their comms, but could only do it one at a time

so you got the spider kid

“simon says stick the cat man to the side of the plane” -you

but that cat had claws

alright, it might be harder than you think

“oh god, simon(e)?” -scott

“what is it?” -you

“i’m a little nervous for my next trick...would it be too much to ask if you did your little command thing for me?” -scott

“ughhhhh...simon says, go on with your ‘trick’” -you

and all the sudden he shot up into the air

“oh, nice” -you

you really hated fighting with these guys, but you were out of options and now cap wanted you to come with him, he wouldn’t leave without you

“steve, i’m sorry. simon says leave without us” -you

and that he did, which left you to be caught by a hair

“so close, weren’t you?” -tony

“simon says go to hell” -you

“very funny, guess i’m immune to mind control, after all” -tony

having a mouth restraint place on you that tony had been saving ever since you joined the team

one that “team cap” heavily protested the second they saw it

“tony, that’s wrong! don’t you trust them enough not to do that? they’re going to hate you after all of this” -wanda

“it’s either me or them. at least mine is comfortable” -tony

kinda fucked lol but understandable ig

having to testify without a voice, only able to type or write

but eventually you made your case and were able to make a deal, but part of that deal was to keep your mouth sealed when in the presence of authority since your voice was deemed a weapon ;)

kinda a dick move if you ask me

so you said fuck that and became a fugitive with steve + friends

but used your powers less and less

again, only for favors because it was hard to get peace in these crappy motels

“simon says kill that roach, oh god” -you @ steve

“you were an avenger and you can’t kill a roach?” -sam

“don’t start with me, sam, or you’re sleeping on the floor” -you

“you wouldn’t” -sam

“don’t test me” -you

waiting and waiting for some kind of turning point that didnt come until alien invasion 2.0

and you tried so hard to stop thanos from snapping, but the stones got the best of you as you were frozen in time

but fortunately you didn’t dust

leaving you to get a rematch against thanos when the time would come

and reuniting with tony just for him to lecture you with the rest of the team

“go fuck yourself, tony” -you

“oh, thank god they didn’t say ‘simon says’” -that raccoon you’ve known for like 3 weeks

“do you ever shut up?” -you

“no, he does not” -nebula

anyways your time did not come and you waited five years for another chance

and although you did not redeem yourself on your own, you were just glad that your side, humanity, had won

but just before thanos had ceased to exist, you told him

“simon says to feel the pain of loss for all of eternity” -you

it may have been cruel, but it’s what he deserved

the next step was for you and sam to be pardoned of your crimes

but you didn’t exactly part ways just because...what else was there for you to do? the two of you were close after your time on the run

and all was well until he decided to give the shield up

“oh, bucky’s gonna be pissed” -you

“he’ll be fine” -sam

now, bucky had mixed feelings about you

he was nervous about your powers, but you did save him

and he knew what it felt like not to be trusted

so he gave you a chance and partnered with you after the “new captain america” and the “flag smashers” fiasco

legally, if you used your powers on a government official/soldier you’d go back in the slammer, but it was quite tempting, even if it were just a “simon says punch yourself in the face”

and off to madripoor you went with...zemo

“are you going to persuade me into something petty, mx. l/n?” -zemo

“i’ve gotta make it worth it, honestly, but there’s no rule against me doing so, so at least i won’t feel bad” -you

and who knows what’s next?

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @ghost-bich // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @groovyfluxie // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @agentshortstacc // @rosadiaz-sarayvargas-harleyquinn // @werewolf-himbo // @comiocudequemtalendo1 // @mochamoff // @the-marvel-meme-emporium // @summersimmerus //

[merakiui]

Okay okay okay I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now here’s my list of genshin boys most likely to least likely to become a yandere and why:

-xiao. Millennia of suffering and he meets somebody who makes the pain dissipate? Hell never let go.

-diluc. People have died in his arms, he can’t risk losing another loved one... it’s not like he doesn’t have the wealth and resources to keep his beloved by his side.

-Childe. I think he’d be the most dehumanizing yandere - he treats you almost like a child (haha) as be manipulates his way into your heart. And god knows that he gets what he wants.

-albedo is obviously in the top half of this list. We’ve talked about his yandere tendacies before so I won’t relist them but jeez get this boy some therapy.

-razor. Now this sounds surprising but after years of protecting his Lupical, do you really think he’d let somebody he loves and sees as helpless wander alone? I feel hes less captor and manipulative and more of a stalker if he becomes a yandere

-venti. Freedom is his entire world, but can he let his beloved have freedom if it endangers them? One of the most manipulative ones on this list, except he has no clue that he’s doing it.

-kaeya. Maybe you’d gotten to close to one of his secrets. Maybe you’d figured out something he wanted to die. It doesn’t matter much now, all you know is that you were tried and declared guilty by the knights of favonius and were sent into a dungeon protected by the Calvery captain himself.

-zhongli. Has the yandere desires, but refuses to give in. He’s loved and lost so many times over the years and he figures he doesn’t want to take that away from his beloved.

-chongyun. I’ve gone back and forth between him and xingqiu for this one, but I feel like these last 3 are all pretty much tied for not being a yandere. However, if he met someone who could somehow null his congenital positivity than he might move up on this list...

-Xingqiu. He has a strong sense of justice and honor, the idea of manipulating, stalking or god forbid kidnapping his S/O is appalling to him.

-Bennett. Literally just tryna vibe. Devotes as much time as he can to make sure any relationship he has is healthy.

So basically:

Everybody on this list: *frothing at the mouth, thinking of ways to keep their S/Os with them*

Bennett, Chongyun, Xingqiu and to some extent Zhongli: what the fuck

Your list... Simply amazing. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m beginning to wonder where other characters would sit on the list. Mainly Scaramouche though aha oops Anyways, please never stop sharing your thoughts!! They are so GOOD!

Xiao’s backstory and past is just perfect material to fuel his yandere desires. He’s suffered for so long and has never really experienced positive emotions, let alone love itself. The poor adeptus is always brooding on his own and here comes his darling, bright and happy and just...perfect. They’re like a glimmering star in his murky darkness and he wants to treasure them. There’s no way he’s going to let go of the feeling he gets when he’s with them, nor is he going to let them leave his side.

It makes sense that Diluc would also be at the top of that list. He’s got the making of a yandere, especially considering all of the people he’s lost in his life. Now that he’s found someone so important to him, he can’t risk losing them. It would destroy him if he found out that his darling got hurt or was even killed because he wasn’t taking enough precautions to keep them safe. He’d definitely blame himself if something like that happened.

Childe, pspspspsp!!! The power this man holds... Omg he makes for such a terrifying yandere. On the outside, he seems warm and disarming—just your normal, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. He’s not dangerous at all! No way. But under all of that falsified charm is someone who knows how to pull strings. He’s a Fatui Harbinger, so of course he has the means of getting you wrapped around his finger. It’s not all that hard when he’s got money, power, and strength. Plus, when he wants something he’s not going to stop until he acquires it; Childe lives for the thrill of chasing after you and it’ll be even more fun once he catches you. Someone should send me more thoughts about yan!Childe!!! orz orz

Albedo also qualifies as a neat yandere! Something about yanderes who are into science is just...fascinating to me. It’s also cool because Albedo’s rumored to be a homunculus, so that adds to the intrigue! Albedo has the resources to get what he wants as well. It won’t be all that difficult, and if it proves to be challenging he can just think of other solutions to pacify his darling. He is a researcher, after all, and a good researcher seeks to find the best solution to a problem.

Razor would be a feral yandere. He’s more action than words. He doesn’t put much thought into what he does because it feels more like an instinct to him. He’s just protecting his Lupical. There’s nothing wrong with that! So why are you acting so difficult? D: 

Like you said, Venti’s not aware of his manipulation and he just does it because it works. His belief that everyone deserves freedom is probably what really holds him back. He doesn’t want you to feel caged, but that feeling is practically inevitable since he’s always hounding you. Venti is a very suffocating yandere and he doesn’t even realize it.

KAEYA! KAEYA! I love the idea of Kaeya having some sort of blackmail on you—something so bad that you absolutely can’t let the world see. And so he uses that to keep you quiet. If you did stumble upon one of his secrets, he can’t possibly have you running that pretty mouth of yours. But if you do end up spilling his secret, it’s only fair that he shares yours, right? An eye for an eye, as some would say. Kaeya’s very smooth and calculative when it comes to handling blackmail. Whenever it feels like you’re trying to one-up him and possibly escape, he’ll flirtatiously remind you of the power he holds over you. Blackmail is rather compelling, is it not?

Zhongli does have the motive to be a yandere, as you pointed out, but he’s a strange case. On one hand, it makes sense that he’d want to protect his beloved at all costs, but on the other he’d probably be aware of these unhealthy tendencies. Although he probably uses the idea of a contract to keep your relationship going, even if it’s clear you don’t want anything to do with him. But if you do, that just makes it easier on him! 

NO BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE SAME FOR CHONGYUN!!! Not the yan!Chongyun piece rotting in my drafts for a month or two now ehehee I had some thoughts about Chongyun but never bothered posting it for some reason. Anyways, I do think Chongyun has potential to be a yandere! As you mentioned, his congenital positivity can become an issue and he doesn’t want that to seriously affect his daily life. So he’s probably very pleased to find someone who can nullify that positivity. It’d be similar to Xiao’s case; Xiao likes someone who can be the light in his dark world. Chongyun falls for the person who can null his congenital positivity and is someone who he gets along with. 

The only way I can see Xingqiu being a yandere is if he wants a noble, storybook romance. Okay, that sounds strange, but consider it! He’s a huge bookworm who probably doesn’t exactly experience romance aside from what he reads in his novels. Although he doesn’t dabble in the romance genre all that often, he does like the idea of being a hero and sweeping someone off of their feet. So when he meets you—another fellow bookworm or maybe the two of you are thrown into an arranged marriage—he just feels an undeniable connection. This must be some form of fate or a sixth sense. Maybe he can be the main character of his own story! You’ll just have to cooperate and you can be the valiant knight’s love interest!

Bennett’s vibes are so nice. How could he be a yandere? He’s just too sweet and pure. He’s really just here to chill and gather an adventuring team full of great friends! But if anyone has any thoughts...please share them! 

That’s it. I’m writing about Scaramouche even though he’s not on the list. Please, why do I simp so much for him? Anyways, we don’t know nearly enough about Scaramouche to determine his backstory or past. But he just oozes yandere! Most of the Harbingers are probably the same, to some extent. He’s like Childe with all of the power and resources, but whereas Childe relishes in the chase Scaramouche refuses to put up with it. It’s just way too inconvenient for him. He’d rather catch you when you least expect it and then keep you for himself.

Gosh, he’s a very determined and possessive yandere with a strict agenda; this man probably cheats in order to get you. He’ll send his underlings to do the work in his place. They’ll stalk you and report back to him and it isn’t long before he learns of your friends, certain family members you’re close to, and even where you live. It’s terrifying, but this is Scaramouche we’re talking about. For someone so short, he sure knows how to intimidate and beat fear into those below him. Good luck to the poor soul who catches his eye. 

I must thank you for making that list! It was lots of fun to consider their mindsets and behaviors as yandere. :D

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

Idk if you do one shots inspired in songs, but if so, Would you mind doing one with a Taylor Swift's song which is called "The 1"? With Mason Mount please

< i love taylor so much and i really hope i didn’t completely butcher this, but thanks for the challenge :) >

MASON MOUNT ONESHOT

the 1

( WARNING: little bit of angst and fluff?, swearing )

word count: 1.8k

Things don’t often go as we expect them to, and it’s often incredibly difficult to replan your life around that massive change and adapt your lifestyle so you can — in reality — live again.

It’s like trying to find your feet when you’re in the air — it feels impossible but you know with time you’ll eventually meet the ground again.

That’s what it felt like when you and Mason broke up four years ago.

You were fresh out of uni and at the time, you really thought he’d be it for you, and honestly, so did he. A break up thrown into the mix of having to navigate adult life just seemed to put a huge stopper on all your plans; the holiday you two had both booked for a weekend away in Ireland, the meals out with friends that you had to cancel, and the house showings you were set to attend.

Looking back on your relationship now, you realise it wouldn’t have been the worst thing to end up with Mason. All the years and effort and time put into loving him were — without a doubt — some of the best years of your life (at that stage in life), and did you regret it?

Not one single bit.

But four years is the perfect amount of time to heal, remove the salt from the wound and finish grieving.

But he was here. In real life.

You’d imagined running into him in the supermarket or on a night out with your friends, but a bus stop?

That one was weird. Mainly because you both hated catching the bus with a burning passion.

But it lead to a catch up over coffee.

It was a quiet place, out of the way of the usual lunchtime hustle and bustle in the city, and for that you were grateful. You could hear your own thoughts.

It was awkward at first, you couldn’t keep your eyes from fixating on his figure, his features, because four years can really change a person. He was much broader, his hair a little shorter, but he was still that same Mason you once loved.

You knew that because the first thing he did when he sat down was offer you that cheeky, charming smile that had you hooked from the second you met.

He’d asked how you were, and you answered honestly: you were living well, your best life, and to the fullest. And you knew and he knew that it wasn’t a lie.

He could tell by the smile on your face and the new, sparkling band on your wedding finger. He half expected that blow to sting a little — that you’d found someone and he hadn’t, but he was never one to be bitter whatsoever, at least, not when it came to you.

Instead, he offered his congratulations and the only inkling of regret he held was not being there when it happened.

I guess you never know, never know,

And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed,

And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow,

And it’s alright now.

There was silence after that.

You had one thing on your mind, and you knew by the way he was looking at you that he was also thinking the same thing.

You took a sip of your coffee.

He mirrored your actions, seemingly startled when you placed your mug onto your saucer, the chink of porcelain against porcelain echoing around the small shop cutting through the previous quietness.

“I think I hated you for a while.” You murmured, and if Mason wasn’t leant over the table slightly, he would’ve missed the statement completely.

He nodded in understanding, his brown eyes shining with the faintest hint of guilt.

“I think I was so frustrated with the idea that we just…didn’t work, and I blamed it on you.” You paused, fingers twisting your rings.

He paused, mulling over his words, “And now? Still hate me now?”

You bit back a small smile and met his eyes, “No…I think it’d take a whole load of bad shit to get me to hate you.”

He smiled.

“That’s good to know.”

“I mean, I think it was a long time coming anyway, that break up.”

“It didn’t feel right for a while.”

“No,” you agreed, “as much as it hurt to admit, I think we just failed…as a couple. There was a point where we were just together for the sake of not giving up on the relationship, but with no real reason to continue.”

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool,

And if my wishes came true,

It would've been you,

In my defense, I have none,

For never leaving well enough alone,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

He seemed to ponder over your words, and although he never voiced it, he came to the conclusion that you’d just put into words — perfectly — the itch that had been tickling his brain for the past few years.

“Despite that, you can’t deny that we weren’t something…” he started, before breaking off and shaking his head, as if the mere thought was ridiculous.

“We were something special. I think, had things stayed like they were in the beginning, that…you and I…” you waved your hand, tilting your head, and he nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Me too. I think…in another life we could have made each other happy. It would have been fun.”

The words ‘if you would’ve been the one’ echoed in your head, and despite the passive aggressiveness of your conscience, you found yourself holding back a smile.

“Water fights in winter and eggs with ketchup…perfect. I’d never have gotten tired of that.” You mused, and he spluttered slightly on his coffee, laughing along with you in what felt like a decade.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit,

Having adventures on your own,

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home,

We never painted by the numbers, baby,

But we were making it count,

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

“Then again, who knows? Maybe you’ll fall over in the airport and some lucky person will help you off the floor—”

“You’re about to say something cheesy, aren’t you?” Mason covered his mouth, scrunching his nose in anticipation as you nodded.

“All this nostalgic bullshit has me emotional! I swear, just this once…just this once, and I promise you can laugh about it afterwards.” You swore, holding out your pinkie for confirmation.

He didn’t hesitate, and linked your pinkie.

“You’ll find someone else. It’ll be love at first sight—hey, let me have this moment…maybe love at second sight, knowing you… you’ll go to some really magical place and have the most amount of fun you’re ever gonna have…hikes, skydiving, looking after animals I’m sanctuaries…you’re gonna have the time of your life — like Grey and Swayze.” You sniggered, unable to hold in your laughs at the ridiculous scenarios.

Mason pulled a face, unable to hide a smile.

“Okay, okay. End of story: they’ll be perfect. The Chandler to your Monica or the Robin to your Ted. But, you understand what I’m talking about, right?” You asked, sighing out of frustration.

“You’re saying I’ll find my person.” He concluded, sitting back in his chair.

“Yeah.”

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family,

And it would've been sweet,

If it could've been me,

In my defense, I have none,

For digging up the grave another time,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

“Like…your grandma and grandad. I want what they have.” Mason smiled.

“They’ll be pleased to hear that,” you said, “I don’t think they’re quite over us yet. You were too…you at family meals. They fell in love with you too.”

This time Mason really laughed. Really laughed. He threw his head back and the people working at the counter turned to look at him, fighting their own smiles at his carefree nature.

What you’d said wasn’t even that funny.

“Too me? Thanks, I think?”

“Oh, that’s definitely a compliment. You’re too damn charming for your own good, it’s a problem. You should come with a warning label on your forehead: EASY TO LOVE.”

“That’ll solve a lot of problems.”

There was silence.

It was relieving to say the least.

“That whole conversation was about four years too late.” You said, pursing your lips.

“Better late than never.” Mason murmured, his eyes trained on you.

The pressure on your shoulders was lifted. All the things that needed to be said were said.

As time passes, the wound heals — sometimes, but in your case, that was true, as hard as it was to come to that conclusion — and it suddenly became easier to recall the loss of what might have been without bringing you back to wishing it would be again.

It was nice.

“Would it be totally inappropriate—”

“Not at all.” You interrupted, shrugging at his raised eyebrows.

“You didn’t know what I was going to say.” He chuckled.

“I’ll have you know that years of knowing you granted me the issue of knowing what you’re going to say,” You said, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“What was I going to say?” He challenged, “If you get it right, I’ll get you tickets to the next game.”

You raised your brows.

“Confident, are we?”

He shrugged, a smug smirk on his lips.

“I don’t think it’s totally inappropriate to be friends.” At your words, he slumped in his chair, hands going to cover his face.

“No.” He groaned, repeating the word like a mantra as you pumped the air with your fist.

“Three tickets to the next game in the bag.” You bragged.

“Honestly.” He whined, peeling his hands away. “Why are you so difficult?”

“You offered the terms.”

“Why am I so dumb?” He rephrased.

“Ah, I'm afraid only you can answer that one.”

“The brain cells I have left don’t have enough energy to come up with an answer to a question as philosophical as that one—yes, it was philosophical to me, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” You promised, putting your hands in the air in surrender.

“Just remember who’s going to give you those tickets, yeah?” He teased, sitting up.

“Abusing your power, nice move.”

“Oh…shut up.”

“Weak.” You coughed, trying to disguise the fact you said anything.

He looked straight at you, highly unimpressed by your tactics.

“Very original.” Was all he said.

“Is it supposed to be this easy?” You blurted out, spitting out the words before you could rethink the consequences of them being thrown into the abyss between you and Mason.

He knitted his brows together in thought.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, “but we were friends way before, it’s not hard to fall back into old habits. I think that’s why it’s so easy.”

[eclectickss]

Make Me Feel Special (1/2)

Pairing: Milf!Agatha Harkness x fem!reader

Warnings: Mommy issues/kink, sexual implications, major age gap (reader is of age)

Summary: You are angry at your best friend for turning down the opportunity for something that you would give your life for: a mother.

Word Count: 3K?

Link to Part 2

A/N: Not grammar checked at all! A blurb gone big!(still at writers block on PGATW) But requests are open! I’ve never done one before but i’m willing to try. <3

-

-

-

You entered the apartment and placed your keys in the dish and jacket on it’s hook, making your way into the kitchen to place your to-go food in the fridge. Jane sat at the island on the computer you shared, and you smiled.

“Hey, I picked up sandwiches for dinner. Hope that’s cool.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Your best friend didn’t look up, but it didn’t really bother you. Well, she was your only friend, but still.

You and Jane had been sharing the apartment for years now, The two of you working a good job to afford it and making a livable income. You had been close since high-school, due to your similar social status, but beyond the two of you, nobody was too good at making friends.

From what she had told you, Jane’s mom wasn’t around much when she was growing up. Jane was a teen pregnancy, and ever since she was born, her mom made no time for her daughter. Agatha, was her name.

Agatha came from a wealthy family, though. Her parents (Jane’s grandparents) wouldn’t allow her to use the family money for her child, much less anything else. She struggled with Jane, and therefore the two of them were ever close.

Agatha’s parents died when Jane was in high-school, so her mom inherited their wealth, but their relationship was past salvageable. At least in Jane’s eyes, it was.

Jane was always telling you about how bad of a mom Agatha was and about how you were lucky that you didn’t have to deal with someone like her. Jane didn’t understand though. You would had given anything to have someone like Agatha. Even if she wasn’t around to much, it was still better than nobody at all.

-

-

-

You were now setting the table for two as you pulled the sandwiches out of the fridge, also finding some strawberries to place at the table. You now were looking through the pantry for chips when you heard a knock at the door and Jane moving around to answer it.

“Mom?!” You heard at the door while you still had your head buried in the pantry. Your eyes widened at the name, never expecting to hear it in your life (in that context, at least). You thought Agatha was out of the picture. “What are you doing here?” You stayed silent as you listened from around the corner.

“Well, I think it’s long overdue that we had a talk, Jane, honey.” She sounded a little more raspy than you were expecting, but that doesn’t say much about someone who used to be an addict.

“We don’t do that, Mom. Anyways, now isn’t a good time.” You heard your friend sigh. The woman was your literal mother... you could at least give her five minutes, you thought.

“I want to start, honey. Please just let me in?”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“C’mon, kiddo.” She begged, and you felt a little bad for how Jane was acting. You know her mom wasn’t a great person, but she was still her mom.

You never got to have one of those.

“If this is just you on another one of your sobriety stunts...”

“I’m really trying this time, Jane! I know I fucked up, baby, but please.”

“Fine.” Your friend grumbled. You heard increasing footsteps and your heart raced as you were about to meet the source of Jane’s complaints and drama.

You hurried to sit at the kitchen counter before the two women caught you snooping, but your gaze snaps up just in time to see Agatha Harkness walk into the room.

Jane might have always mentioned that her mother was any and all variations of a bitch, but she failed to mention how attractive the woman was. Her messy brown hair sat on top of an old purple cardigan and worn out jeans, followed by a pair of well-used slip-on shoes. The look together was not extremely flattering, but Agatha somehow pulled it together in a way that made your stomach turn. Your eyes raked her down, but you think she caught you when you met her gaze again. She smirked softly.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you had guests!” She says as her own eyes follow your figure, and you wonder if she’s just doing it to mock you or flatter you. She looks back up with a glimmer in her eye, and you decide on the latter option. Your face goes red, but you try and brush her actions off, not wanting to mistake it for anything else.

“Didn’t I say that this was a bad time?” Jane grumbled.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Harkness. My name is YN.” You smiled as you held out your hand.

“Call me Agatha, darling.” She stared into your eyes. “It’s so nice to finally meet one of Jane’s friends.” You panic under her gaze.

“We were just about to sit down for dinner, if you want to join us. We don’t have any food for you, but-“

“Oh, thank you... I was hoping I could talk to Jane in private, though.” She walked over to the table and took a seat.

“Whatever you have to say to me, you can say it to YN, too.” The two of you joined Agatha at the table.

A long moment of awkward silence passsed between the three of you before your guest finally spoke up.

“I want you in my life, Jane. For real this time.”

Nobody says anything, and dishes stop clattering.

“I know I shoulda done this earlier... hell, I shoulda done this when I got claim to my parent’s money, but I want to look after you. I never got the chance to do that when you were young... cause of all the drinking and working... but I can do that now. I’m ready.”

Jane sat with her mouth open and a half eaten sandwich forgotten on her plate.

“No, Mom, you shoulda done this from the moment I was conceived. You don’t get a second chance with me. I’m not giving you a second chance, or a third or a fourth or whatever number you wanna give yourself. You wanna know why? It’s because I already did that. And you let me down every single time.”

Agatha looked a little speechless.

“Fine, then.” She sighed. “I won’t bother you again.” But it hurt you to watch a daughter turn away her mother, when that was an opportunity that you wanted so badly. “Is it alright if I stay the night, though? It’s a long drive back to my place.”

Jane rolled her eyes, knowing that her mother was being dramatic, but didn’t want to put up with any more of her antics. “I better not see you in the morning. YN can get blankets for the couch.”

-

-

-

“Hey, Jane,” You sighed as you entered her room.

“Hey, YN. I’m sorry you had to deal with the shit show that is my mother. I can’t believe she just walked in here and expected me to accept her pathetic invitation.”

“No, it’s ok. She’s not that bad with me.”

“Well she just met you. I just don’t understand why she thought showing up unannounced would magically make me want a mother again. It’s fucked up.” Jane said, but you couldn’t sit there and watch her tear down something that you wish you had.

“Yeah,” you mumbled and rushed out of her room before she could say anything else.

You walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, then headed over to the sink for some tap water. The cool liquid rushed down your throat as you held down your tears, thankful that nobody was around.

“Hey, Honey,”

Shit. You forgot that Agatha was on the couch.

You turn around to see her meeting your gaze, although her eyes quickly found the way to the rest of your body.

“You doing alright, babygirl?” The nickname made you heat up. She spoke with concern and care; something that Jane chose to ignore, which made you feel bad for Agatha. You wish that Jane wouldn’t take for granted what her mother was trying to offer her.

“Uh... yeah... I guess.” You sigh, hopping up to sit on the counter as you watch the other woman fill her own glass at the sink. “Jane is just... being a little hard right now.” You chose your words carefully, not wanting to lose the trust of your friend but also wanting to gain the trust of another.

“What do you mean?” You realize the situation you have put yourself in.

“It’s just... I didn’t have a mom at all growing up. Or a dad. I had my shitty uncle... until he tossed me into the foster system. I had it real rough... and it still kinda is... but Jane has been helping. That’s why we’re friends at least. She might view me as a charity project, but i’m desperate, I guess.”

“What does all of this have to do with Jane being hard, hon?” She leaned onto the counter across from you.

“She didn’t really have a mom, either... growing up. No offense.”

Agatha shrugged. “I know.”

“But now that she’s given an opportunity to have one, she turns it down... and it makes me jealous. Mad. Angry.” You pause. “I know I’ll never get the chance at a mom, but she has one. And fuck, I would give so much to have that.”

“To have someone like me? A recovering drunk who treated their teen pregnancy like a joke?”Agatha sighed into her hands, but her words meant so much more to you than she may ever know.

“Yeah. To have someone like you. Someone who cares.” At that, she looked up with a new light in her eyes, but you don’t meet her gaze. You don’t want her to see the blush or desire written on your face, so instead, you pull a cigarette out from your jacket pocket.

She watches you as you hop down from the counter to get the lighter out of the junk drawer, paying attention to the way your body moves. You notice how her eyes follow you, but you don’t call her out on it, knowing you would do the same if the roles were reversed.

“You want a hit?” You lift your eyebrow as you raise the smoke to meet her gaze. A glint of humor is caught on her face, and you smirk.

“Sure... why not.” She says as you join her in leaning up against the counter. You bring the cigarette up to your mouth and click the lighter.

“So,” Agatha starts again, both of you a few puffs in. “How did you end up here with Jane?”

“Uhh... we met senior year of high-school. I was fucked up. Shit grades. Wasn’t going to graduate. Drug money to pay off... no job. Jane used your money to pay off my debt. She found me a job. Tutored me. Like I said, I felt like a charity project. But at least I graduated. We both work now and pay for this place together. Maybe it’s not great but we’re both better off than we were a few years ago.”

“Why didn’t she accept anything I tried to give her? Did she tell you?” Agatha was prying, but you didn’t mind.

“You mean after high-school? She didn’t want any help from you. In her words exactly... ‘She wasn’t there for me for the first 18 years of my life, so why should she help out now...’”

“And what do you think about that?”

“I didn’t grow up poor, Agatha. I grew up with nothing. I would have taken any of your offers in a heartbeat, no matter how guilty they made me feel.”

“Good girl.” She nearly whispers, and you turned to face her, but you couldn’t make anything out of the expression written on her face. Your own skin was hot and something was burning in your core, and you didn’t know what to think.

“I’m sorry... what did you just say?” You watched as she put the cigarette out, now giving you her undivided attention.

“So tell me, honey, do you have a boyfriend? I’m assuming a pretty thing like you would have one. Tell me about him.” Part of you wondered where this conversation was going, but the other part assumed that she already knew which direction you leaned in.

“Uhh... not my type.” You stared at her with curiosity.

“So you got a girlfriend, then?” Her new confidence shocked you a little bit.

“Uhh... no.” You tilted your head, and she seemed to pick up on your confusion.

“Good girl.” Your mouth was dry. “You see, mommy doesn’t want you having a girlfriend... no, she wants you all to herself.”

Your eyes widen in shock, but your core aches and cheeks burn. You stare at the woman next to you as a hand slides onto your thigh.

“Oh come on, darling. You said you wanted a mommy, baby. I wanna take care of you. I see the way you look at me. Don’t deny you want me too.” She spins around and pins you to the counter, and you audibly gulp.

“But- Jane.” You whine, already being driven crazy by the proximity of Agatha’s body.

“Jane is kicking me out, baby girl. And you can come live with me. Mommy has a pretty house, honey. I can feed you, clothe you... make you feel good. I can make you feel special.” And God, your soul was ready to leave your body. You wanted this. You could hardly think as her soft lips grazed over the skin on your neck, and a soft moan escaped your throat. Her tongue and teeth pulled at the skin just below your ear, trying to pull a response out of you.

“Mom!” The both of you jumped at the third voice in the room. The two of you turn to Jane in shock. “What the FUCK are you doing!” She rushed over to the two of you, pulling Agatha off of your body. “You can’t just come into my life and try to fuck my friends after someone rejects you!” She pushes her mom back and turns to you.

“Oh my god, YN, are you ok? I cannot believe that she tried to touch you. God, that makes me sick.” She hugged you, but you still couldn’t say anything.

“Jane, honey, you don’t know-“

“Shut up! I can’t even look at you! Get out of my house, mom. I never want to see you again.” Jane’s face turned red with anger.

“Honey-“ Agatha met eyes with you, but you didn’t know what to do.

“Leave! Now.” She seethed and stomped back to the bedroom, expecting Agatha to be gone when she got back.

The woman in front of you moved silently while you still processed what just happened. When she returned with her belongings, she gave you a note, but headed out without saying a word.

After a few minutes, you finally looked at the piece of paper in hand.

If you ever make up your mind...

1286 Lincoln St NW

(673) 867-5309

-Agatha

-

-

-

“YN, are you sure you’re alright? I really never would have expected my mom to touch you or even make you feel uncomfortable. I’m so sorry.” Jane sighed as she sat on the bed.

“I’m fine, J. You don’t have to apologize on her behalf.” You replied, sitting on the chair opposite her.

“I mean what even happened. Why did she do that?”

“Umm... I don’t know. We were just talking and then she started that.”

“What we’re you talking about?”

“Oh, I was just explaining how we met.” You tentatively answered.

“YN you didn’t have to tell her that. I know it’s personal for you, I can’t believe she forced you to talk about it.

“I uhh- actually didn’t mind. I wasn’t forced.”

“Then why would you trust her with something like that? You know how she is.”

“Because...” You thought about your next words carefully. “She cares.” Jane scoffs.

“That must be a different woman we’re talking about, YN. My mom is a selfish bitch who only cares for herself.”

That tipped the iceberg for you.

“You know, Jane? I understand that you and her might never be besties like she wants you to be, but that doesn’t mean you get to fuck her over now that she’s trying.” Your friend looks up at you in shock.

“Well she fucked me over my entire life, so I don’t see why I can’t do the same.”

“Because! Jane! She’s changed! It’s only right that you give her one more shot in your life!”

She took a pause.

“I’m sorry, YN, are you defending my MOM? After everything she’s done to me, and everything i’ve done for you?!”

“Yes. It is sick watching you throw something away that I can only dream of.” You spat angrily.

“Geez, YN. Just- get out of my fucking house. Keep your rent money for the month. Pack your shit and get the hell out of here.” She nearly ran out of the room.

But you weren’t surprised. In fact, you expected this the moment you chose your side.

-

-

-

The knocks resonate through the large door attached to the even larger house. Agatha has money.

You thought Jane was over exaggerating a little bit, but now you understood that she wasn’t. You sighed as your cab sped away, and now all you could do was wait.

Agatha opened the door, slightly shocked to see you, but nevertheless happy.

“Hey baby, what is it?”

You took a deep breath, taking in the sight of the woman who stood in front of you.

“I want you to make me feel special, mommy.”

-

-

-

link to part 2

[ptergwen]

from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

-

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

-

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.

[defdaily]

‪[TRANSLATION] Arena Homme+ Magazine April 2021 Issue featuring JAY B

Translated by defdaily.

JAY B is free and starting again from scratch. That is what JAY B has in mind. GOT7’s leader announced that he would be leaving JYPE as the group stays together. JAY B is preparing to debut as a solo musician while planning to also release mixtapes and hold exhibitions as Def. We had a chat with JAY B, who has gained more freedom and strength, at the swimming pool about courage, depression, literature and aspirations.

Did you come here alone?

Yes. I took a taxi here. I was the type to go around freely even when I was in JYPE but catching the taxi to work this time around felt new.

All GOT7 members decided to leave JYP but stay together as a group. As a leader, you needed to make a decision, right?

Although we ended up leaving JYPE, we wanted to continue as GOT7. We all agreed to leave [JYPE] and try it between ourselves.The product made from me taking responsibility/taking charge was the single 'Encore’ that was released not too long ago. I was involved in the whole process with a new record label. I was happy to see a good response [to the single]. It was lacking in some areas but I was just very proud that we were able to show a different step. Since we showed through this single that “we did not disband”, what’s next is more important. When we left JYPE, Director Jung Wook mentioned "Your role as a leader starts now." I'm realizing it now.

”I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I wanted to start again from scratch.”

Your role as a leader actually starts now.

I used to find the role of a leader burdensome at times but now I feel a greater sense of responsibility. While supporting each person’s journey, I thought I needed to be the one to step up once we got back together. We also talk regularly in our group chat. Not long ago, Jackson went to China. When Mark went to the USA, I could see him off but when Jackson was leaving, we couldn’t be together because of a schedule. So I told him to have a safe flight, apologised for not being able to see him off and thanked him too. He replied saying he’ll take care and be back.

What motivated you to leave the large agency you've been working with for a long time?

The thought came to mind suddenly as we were promoting as GOT7. Am I taking all these benefits I get for granted? When a schedule is released I just do it, and when they ask me to confirm things I do, but what kind of long process has it gone through before it came to me? Who sends a request and how is it processed? Why am I only waiting until it reaches me and simply watching it unfold? I wanted to be directly involved in that process. I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I want to be humble and start from the bottom again.

Didn't you need the courage?

Of course I did. I was also afraid. My position has risen to all the way up here, but when it comes to my actual knowledge, I think I'm only down there. I was afraid that the difference would feel too big once I left the company. But I think I would have been more afraid if I stayed at JYPE. Since that difference would have grown bigger and bigger. My real self is here, so I should face it head-on a little faster. That's what I thought.

As JAY B or as Def. who releases mixtapes and holds exhibitions, you must have had the desire to do something new.

I want to do research and build it up step by step without haste. JAY B will show hip hop and RnB music that appeals to the general public and Def. will do activities that Def. wants to do. It could be mixtapes or exhibitions, or other different kinds of fictions. Def. is the nickname I used as a bboy before I became a trainee. It’s like air floating about freely. It could be house or soul or acoustic or even modern rock. In a way, you can say that Def. is close to my “main self” but since I debuted as JAY B, I’ll also show a devoted side of myself through JAY B. I want to be a person who can do both what he has to do and what he wants to do freely.

Listening to your mixtapes, and hearing that you like the styles of D’Angelo and Ray Charles, you seem to be attached to the Southern US rhythm and blues and soul music.

I do like them a lot. I like the entire hip-hop culture that originated from there. That culture also includes DJing, graffiti and even bboying. Since I started as a bboy, I would look up older videos to watch, study the culture and also look into what each dance move symbolizes, with my bboying crew and that's how I became fascinated. What captivated me the most was their obstinacy. I felt respect towards the conviction and obstinacy they carried with their culture.

Is that mood still incorporated in your music and dance?

Yes. For example, I don’t think choreography is dance. I think dancing is when music plays and you like the rhythm and start humming and bobbing your head and moving your body. I think dancing is a free act you do out of enjoyment.

What was the reason you joined an idol group after starting out as a bboy?

I gained an interest in music too, not just dancing. When I was young, I listened to D’Angelo’s music and wanted to become a singer like him. But I was rebellious when I first joined JYPE. Haha. I was even suspended for a month once as a trainee. I definitely said hello but they said I didn’t so they said "If you're going to be stubborn, then go home" and me with my young heart replied “Then I shall head home.” and left. Then I met up with my bboying crew after a long time, and in just a few months it turned into a different world. The crew members were above me and I was worried because I could feel myself far away by myself. Should I go back to bboying? Should I continue as a trainee? In the end, I wanted to do my very best in whatever I chose so I decided to focus on becoming a singer. Since I wanted to do music, it was a choice I made with no regrets.

You started as a dancer and ended up as a main vocalist. What was music to you back then?

It was a challenge. Trainees are divided into singing and dancing. I joined as a dancer but what I wanted to do was become a singer and not just do dance. But since I was put into the dancing division, I worked even harder with singing to break that prejudice. I often felt defeated. I still feel defeated with singing. Haha. But music is about endless research. Now it’s more about research than studying.

You grew up as an only child to your parents who did farming?

I was an ordinary kid. I enjoyed Haruki’s Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage and thought the “colourless” kid was just like me. I was a calm kid who helped his parents with their farm work. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any older siblings but they said I used to talk to myself a lot. My mother said there was a way she would know if I was home or not. If I was home, she would hear me talk to myself and be like “Oh really?” “Yes really” haha.

It’s extraordinary to read Haruki at that age.

There was an older friend that I knew and he was really cool. He looked really cool reading on the bus with his legs crossed. He said “Hey, Read a book and build up some knowledge.” As I was trying to be cool like him, I gained a favourite author and started reading more since I enjoyed it.

What kind of books do you like?

When I was a teenager I often read Kafka On The Shore. It felt like Kafka was just like me, and so while reading it, I even cried. The style of Murakami Radio was also interesting. The ending phrase “But I like that more…” was very witty. I’m collecting books from secondhand bookstores from authors who won the Young Author awards. I like Lee Jang-wook's short story Byeon Hee-bong. The main character knows the actor Byun Hee-bong, but the world doesn't know him. He would ask "Don't you know Byun Hee-bong from the movie The Host?" But no one knows. I like stories that don’t intend to be funny but they end up making me giggle.

What do you read these days?

I try to read poetry. I purchased and read the first volume that appeared on Moonji’s Poetry Collection, but it has too many Hanja characters. Haha. I started with Munhwak’s Poetry Collection. I have volumes 1 to 85. I also read poet Park Joon's collection of poems and poet Lee Eun-gyu's Affectionate Name. I even underlined and wrote things down.

Among the idols and musicians I’ve met, I think you are the most extensive reader.

We went on tours often and we would have a lot of time in my hotel room. When I went out I took pictures and when I stayed in my hotel room I read books. When I go on an overseas tour, I pack around 30 books in my suitcase. Then I bring back the books that left an impression on me, and those that didn’t sometimes I dispose of them there. These days, I look for independent publications too. I often look for independent publishing bookstores in Nakseongdae or Haebangchon. There are many books that contain honest stories that are not refined, and the power of those sentences is great.

How does reading influence your work?

The poetic expressions with poetic license help when writing lyrics. You read a new sentence and think “What is this expressing?” You receive inspiration from that image being expressed in a new way. I think of lyrics as poetry too. There are times I write how I feel honestly, but when I want to include a certain meaning I’d want to write the lyrics like poetry.

In your photo exhibition <ALONE> last year, you took pictures of objects and signs in the middle of the road.

Wouldn't it feel very lonely if you think about it from an object’s point of view? The camera captures just an instance but the object will stay there. I think each person has an insatiable loneliness. I like the artist Seonglib’s works, and I feel loneliness in his drawings. I don't know why I keep talking about loneliness, I guess I’m familiar with loneliness.

Seems like you take more pictures of objects and landscapes than people.

I don’t really like taking pictures of people. You can clearly see a person’s emotions in their eyes. I prefer hiding things rather than revealing them too much. I prefer objects, backgrounds, and natural objects rather than subjects that openly express 'It's me!'. Tranquil things, I like when you go past something and go “that’s how it was.” I try my best since my job requires being presented to people but that’s also how I am.

Who do you like as a movie director?

I like Woody Allen’s directing. My favourite is Match Point. It's a love story that goes beyond taboos, and it's electrifying. The face of the actor who secretly asks the reunited lover to give him her number remains in my memory for a long time. How could he direct such a real-looking, raw look in their eyes? When I was a theater and film major, I used to take directing classes rather than acting. If I were to direct a film, I would like to shoot an eccentric witty romantic comedy like Love Fiction directed by Jeon Gye-soo.

Are you self-conscious as an artist?

I’m interested in a variety of genres, and interact with crews often, but I think goofing off just because they are an artist is an arrogant attitude. Everyone is their own artist, no matter what they do, right? I'm not trying to be pretentious, I just think there's a difference in expression, and people who work in the office are also doing their own art. That’s why I’m a little shy about the title “artist.” Is there a need to be puffed up with pride because I’m an artist? I’m just a person.

While filming for “What's in my bag” and revealed your medications for depression and panic disorder. When did you face your depression?

I didn’t know I had depression. I thought I was being weak for a short while and let it pass. But on an occasion I got examined and found out I had depression. They asked how I lived by without going to the psychiatrist. I said I just thought I was the type to feel blue. Haha. I’m the type that doesn’t show [what is wrong] but they said I was in a state where I needed treatment. After going to counselling and taking medications, I’m much better now.

“I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but depression is both a common and dangerous illness.”

I think you’re cool for having the courage to talk about this.

I got diagnosed and looked at the people around me. There are friends who are ashamed of it and try to hide it, and there are friends who talk about it as if it’s insignificant. I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but it’s both a common and dangerous illness. A mental illness is an illness too. Among my fans, or those who read this interview, if there is someone who feels depressed, don’t be ashamed of it and I hope you receive treatment and overcome it. It’s not an embarrassing thing and it doesn’t need to be hidden. And I was filming content where I show what’s inside my bag; I can’t lie. I wish everyone would be healthy.

Are you bad at lying?

Yes. If I have to tell a lie, I think it’s just better to not say anything. Since I’m the type that’s honest and straightforward, I also don’t like beating around the bush.

Can you share a way one can take a step forward towards recovering from depression?

Look at the world in a broad view. Know that there are many places you haven’t been to yet and there are many things you haven’t felt yet. It's also good to take a walk and go off your usual route and take a path you've never been on. Small adventures can also be of great help. Just by leaving the house you’re already halfway there. I think there are more ways you can refresh yourself outside rather than inside. Also, I thought I was an honest person but after being diagnosed with depression, I thought I should be more honest with myself and more faithful to myself. At times like this, think of yourself before others.

What do you believe in?

I just believe in god. I don’t have a religion. I don’t know what kind of existence god is but I do believe that there is a god. When I’m thankful or am having a hard time, I pray. “Thank you.” “Please let me get through this wisely.”

What is the greatest motivation that moves you?

As long as I’m alive, I want to continue doing work that will leave a message. I believe that there is no next life. I think I should live this time diligently to the fullest. To have no regrets.

Translated by defdaily.

[nayona96]

"What would a good big brother do?" Part 3

Part 1, Part 2

Things were going wrong. Very wrong.

Not for an eye untrained in the ways of Damianos Vallis, that is. But for Kastor it was obvious how WRONG it was.

It started off good enough. The three of them walked up to the De Vere brothers and said brief hellos to Auguste before turning to Laurent.

The younger blond had a carefully neutral expression since their group approached them. Kastor, although having known Jokaste for a long time and dating her for six months, still had issues with reading her face sometimes. And they were close, they talked about stuff and did things together and overall knew one another quite well. Kastor felt blessed to be trusted with Jokaste’s deepest dreams and desires. Not many could say that about themselves.

Despite all of that, he still found himself puzzled whenever Jo put on her poker face like a proper Lady Gaga fan. He couldn’t see through it as well as he would like.

So it wasn’t a surprise Kastor had a hard time reading Laurent, who he had just met, at this very moment.

“Laurent, these are my friends, Kastor and Damianos Vallis.” Auguste introduced them.

Kastor waved to Laurent while Damen laughed. “Do you always introduce people by their full name? Hi.” He offered his hand to Laurent. “I’m Damen. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Laurent’s voice was smooth like silk and pleasant to listen to, like one of those voice actors who do voiceovers for nature shows. Kastor realized he never asked Auguste about Laurent’s occupation. If the young man was unemployed, he’d absolutely recommend this career to him.

“This unpleasant guy here is Nikandros.” Auguste joked, earning a glare from Nik.

The younger blond exchanged more pleasantries with all of them. Kastor asked about his degree - it was in biology, Laurent wanted to go to vet school which was so damn cool, did you hear that, Damen? - and that started a conversation about everyone’s occupations. Nice, pleasant and proper.

Aka the exact opposite of what Kastor wanted to witness.

After some time Laurent excused himself to the bathroom, Damen and Nik offered to get everyone a drink, and Kastor took the opportunity to consult with Gus.

“What in the actual ever loving fuck, Auguste?!” He hissed.

“You’re getting less and less creative with your insults, dude.” Auguste deadpanned.

“My creativity isn’t an issue here, it’s your brother!”

Gus narrowed his eyes. “How is my brother an issue?”

“He’s nice!”

“Laurent’s not a dick, you know. He can be nice when he wants to.”

“Yeah but he was supposed to not want to be nice! Like, I thought he’d be this sassy ice queen you talked to me about. It all goes wrong,” Kastor nearly ripped hair out of his head, that’s how frustrated he was, “Damen will never fall for a nice person.”

Auguste sighed. “I think you’re overthinking it. And he dated Lykaios, remember her? She was the sweetest person on this planet.”

“He did date Lykaios but I also remember they broke it off after two months because the spark wasn’t there.” He pointed out. “My brother needs spice in the ass he’s eating!”

How Kastor found out Damen likes to eat ass is a story for another time.

Damen and Nik chose that very moment to return with beer for everyone. Passing a bottle to Gus, Damen said, “Your brother seems nice.”

There wasn’t anything indicating romantic interest in his tone and Nik released a relieved sigh, while Kastor wanted to smash something out of frustration.

He had to find a way to make Laurent stop being nice. Maybe not to the point of offending someone, despite the fact it would make Damen hot and bothered the fastest, but if the guy could throw in a sassy remark here and there, it should do the trick.

It was as if The Gay Gods have listened and answered to Kastor’s prayers, have smelled his desperation over all this Axe body spray he had used and decided to act accordingly.

Laurent strolled up to them, his expression closed off, body tightly locked and overall radiating a I’m Pissed Off Don’t Approach Or I Will Bite Your Head Off energy. Auguste was immediately on high alert, which further encouraged Kastor to be hopeful.

“What is it?” Auguste asked, eyes scanning his brother closely in search of some reason for his distress. “Did anything happen?”

“I bumped into the biggest asshole on earth, that’s what happened! Thank you.” The younger blond nodded at Damen who offered him a drink.

“I hope mojito is alright.” Damen smiled.

“It is.”

“What did the asshole do?” Auguste wouldn’t let it go.

Tenseness immediately returned to Laurent’s face. “Some idiot saw a WWF poster about saving the turtles on the wall and he tried to hit on me with a ‘I wonder if a turtle would make tasty skewers’ line.”

Even Kastor thought that was fucked up and he knew he wasn’t the brightest.

Damen looked positively scandalized. “What a dick! It’s not funny. What did you tell him?”

The words had the corner of Laurent’s lip jerk in a smirk. “I may have suggested he should end up being skewered, although the quality of his meat seems low enough even starving dogs wouldn’t touch it.”

“Where’s he now?”

Laurent took a sip of his mojito and deadpanned, “On his way to ER, I believe. He tried to grope me while sputtering nonsense so I may have sprained his wrist. At least. I think I heard something snap.”

It was as if the sun peaked from between the clouds, bathing them in its warmth and light. Nikandros looked like he was about to faint or vomit, Auguste still seemed concerned and Damen’s expression was of someone who just saw an angel descend from the heavens.

Kastor wanted to do a victory dance. His bro was half in love already.

“Nice.” Damen then mentioned, “You know, I could show you how to throw someone over your shoulder, if you felt like broadening your repertoire. Works on people bigger than you as well.”

“You would teach me?” Laurent looked hesitant but intrigued.

Damen flexed his biceps. “I own a few gyms and worked as a personal trainer for years.”

Pale blue eyes scanned Damen’s body closely and very slowly, as if trying to engrave the image into his memory. “I see.” He said, voice turning low and smooth. “I might take you up on this offer.”

Nik downed his drink. Auguste and Kastor exchanged a knowing look, the former now clearly convinced there was a spark between their younger brothers.