#my goal so far has been to make my house in creative (done) and anything else that I don’t need in creative (I made a cat home.. its… nice)

[clownsnake]

every time I think abt building in minecraft I’m like I want to make a giant nether portal with a decaying design that you think maybe used to be ornate, I want to make a castle that’s also decaying and maybe I’ll model it after the castle from that one minecraft parody you know the one, i want to use bonemeal on every surface of land & make everything overgrown, I want to make bridges on literally every river I see, i want to hide little bunkers for Herobrine, I want to plant more & more signs of life but make them died to death sooo long ago, I want to be a little freak who creates my own past, I want everything. and then I remember I’m still trying to make a barn in survival

[fuckyeahworldoftaika]

Taika Waititi: “I just want to spend my money and enjoy it”

As he talks about what a fabulous thing it is to be Taika Waititi, he occasionally glances out the window of the hotel to the gin palaces moored in Auckland’s Viaduct Harbour. So, which one is his?

“They’re all mine. I’m actually trying to get rid of some of these to make room for my QE3.” Everyone in the room laughs – there’s a Disney PR team with camera crew present for a small conveyor belt of local interviews with journalists under instruction not to ask our most prominent global celebrity anything unrelated to his new movie. But Waititi does present as a man who has done quite well for himself. That’s assuming the jewellery that is adorning his fingers, neck and ear is as expensive as it looks. Of course it is. The man’s been on the cover of Vogue, after all, albeit as half of a “power couple” with wife of a year-plus, UK pop star Rita Ora.

It’s not the Listener that has brought up the fruits of his success. Just before the boat quips, Waititi had been pondering the difference between being the young Taika following his creative whims and the 48-year-old one, who now doesn’t have the option of starting things – like multimillion-dollar superhero films – and not finishing them because he can’t be bothered. Add to that, he has so many irons in the fire, there is a risk of a stable overflowing with shoeless horses. That’s whether it’s writing that Star Wars film (“four pages,” he deadpans on how far he’s got), acting in pirate comedy series Our Flag Means Death, making videos for the All Blacks, among other corporate gigs, or supposedly doing remakes of seemingly everything he ever liked growing up. Yes, there is a New Zealand film on his to-do list. More of which later.

To that work-in-progress pile (“I’ve got a few irons underneath the other irons”) you can also add a redo of Mel Brooks’ classic comedy Young Frankenstein. The Jewish-American comedy great liked Waititi’s Hitler-spoofing Oscar-winning Jojo Rabbit very much – it reminded him of his own Hitler-spoofing good old days. He asked Waititi if he’d like to remake Young Frankenstein, the 1974 film starring Gene Wilder that was arguably his greatest big-screen comedy. You don’t say no to Mel Brooks. He is 97, after all. That said, Waititi says he could do with a break from the blacksmith shop. Right now, he says, “I just want to spend my money and enjoy it”. Well, reportedly, he has splashed out on that unobtainable thing for many Kiwi artists of his generation – a nice house in Auckland. The NZ Herald last month reported he’d bought a $10.5 million waterfront property in Point Chevalier, supposedly as a base for his joint custody of his two daughters with his former wife, producer Chelsea Winstanley.

We would be discussing his purchase – after all, who doesn’t like a natter about Auckland real estate? – but this interview is taking place back in April. Disney stipulated it couldn’t run until the local release of his new film Next Goal Wins, which it eventually bumped until the end of the year, having made its New Zealand staff redundant in the interim. Next Goal Wins is based on the true story – there was an earlier doco of the same name – about the American Samoan football team, the biggest losers of any Fifa World Cup qualifying round, having gone down 31-0 to Australia. It stars many familiar faces including Oscar Kightley, Beulah Koale, Dave Fane (“all of my mates – I think Robbie Magasiva is the only one not in this”). And, as the Palagi saviour coach, is Michael Fassbender, an actor not exactly known for his comedy. He plays Dutch-American Thomas Rongen, who became the team’s coach and lifted them from the bottom of the Fifa rankings, a little.

It’s a film that seems to have been stuck in extra time. It was shot in Hawai’i in 2019. Then came the pandemic, which paused production for a year. Along the way, Armie Hammer, who played a minor role as an American Fifa official, became persona non grata due to a storm of sexual abuse allegations, which required reshoots with comic actor Will Arnett subbing in. “I was actually already changing that character in the edit and Will came in and played a different version of it,” says Waititi, who isn’t the first director caught with a cast member who’s acquired a toxic reputation. But all his films, even his modest budget New Zealand ones at the start of his career, have taken years. “This is just the normal Taika schedule … I started working on Star Wars three years ago. By the time I finish, it will probably be another four years from now.” Next Goal Wins debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival in September and opened in North America last week. The reviews have been decidedly mixed. That’s possibly because, like his parody-risking Thor films, it’s trying to be two things at the same time – a feel-good underdog sports film with the coach trying to redeem himself, and a send-up of feel-good sports films.

The American-Samoan team featured Jaiyah Saelua, a fa’afafine who was the first transgender international footballer. Played by fa’afafine actor Kaimana in the film, the character is a big chunk of the story. Some reviews have wondered why the film’s whole focus wasn’t Saelua. Why wasn’t it? “Jaiyah’s story is really interesting, but I was not tempted, because I really wanted it … to be about that relationship between the team and Thomas. But also him and the team, because there are a lot of other interesting characters there … [Jaiyah’s story] wasn’t something that I was massively drawn to as the main thing.” Waititi wanted to keep things light and bright in what he has said is his least cynical film yet. By which he means? “It’s more just that in this film nothing bad happens to anyone. In all of the other films there’s some darkness there. Jojo Rabbit is probably the most cynical, but in a satirical way. But with this film, the message is on the poster: “Be happy.” I think one of the most important parts of the film is when Thomas says, ‘I can’t win’, and Oscar says, ‘Well, then lose, but don’t do it alone, come lose with us.’ That’s a really important thing. If it was in an American’s hands, it would be all about winning … I think it’s good to embrace losing but doing it together.” Waititi isn’t much of a football fan. He played as a kid for a while before switching to rugby. “I played it from, like, eight to 10. I just felt like it was a real white sport, so I was a bit turned off because all of my mates were playing rugby. I just enjoyed playing touch a lot more than waiting for that round ball to come my way … ‘Can someone, like, kick it to me?’ “Notoriously, soccer is one of the worst things to try to film, because it just always comes across as super boring … It’s bad enough watching it when you’re waiting for something to happen in a big game. But it’s just a hard sport to make look interesting on film. And I think we did a really good job.” Whatever Next Goal Wins does at the box office – and it’s unlikely to be troubling Oscar voters – you suspect Waititi’s life and career will continue on its seemingly charmed way. According to the man living it, it has always been thus.

“It’s like The Truman Show – everything has just been put in front of me, for me. Like, you’ve just been sent in here to entertain me for 15-20 minutes, then you’ll go and these people [the PR team] will do something for me. My mother says this to me all the time … I used to write stories about how the world was on fire and everyone was dying. My parents died and I was the only one who survived. I’m always, like, the star of my own show … This is basically my whole story, just for me.” There are words for that. “It’s called being a Leo. Oh, narcissism? It’s true.” But with that, he says, is the self-doubt of being a fêted figure but feeling a bit of a fake. “It all comes from a deep place of insecurity and imposter syndrome – all the things that everyone else in this industry has – the deep sense of not feeling like you belong here, or that you’ve gotten away with something, and no one’s found out yet. “Most people in this industry have that fear or that sense that it’s either all going to be taken away – the window is going to close – you’re going to be irrelevant soon, or that you’ve somehow stumbled into this undeservedly – that there’s been some sort of glitch or mistake, and no one has noticed that you don’t know what you’re doing. “If anyone asks me, ‘So, how do you make films?’ I don’t know. I don’t know any of the names of the equipment on set. All I know is what I’d like to see as an audience member in a rectangle on a big screen, and I’ll try my hardest to get that. “I think directing in general is just you making decisions fast and confidently, and then people will believe you and follow you.” Does he have anything left to prove? “Nah, I’m good. Film wasn’t even my dream. I didn’t have a dream of doing this, and I’ve already achieved it. I don’t care about anything other than just my happiness and my family.” His marriage to Ora has made him both tabloid-famous and a glossy magazine fixture. He also appears to have met everybody. Yes, he has been starstruck on occasions. Such as when Ora introduced him to Mick Jagger at a party. He gulped, excused himself and departed.

“It was, ‘I’m not going to sit down and talk to you because I’m going to fuck this up, so I’m just going to walk away.’ ‘Have a good night.’ That was enough for me.” He will be busy for the foreseeable future with whatever is next on his Hollywood to-do list. But he does have the makings of a New Zealand film in a drawer somewhere. One of his early short films, Tama Tū, was about six Māori Battalion soldiers in World War II Italy. He’s been tinkering with an idea about a battalion feature. It is the “Don Quixote of all films that every Māori film-maker has been trying to make,” says Waititi. He’s not the only one – Muru director Tearepa Kahi also has one in the works. Waititi feels his is a good 10 years away. “I think the problem is we shouldn’t be making a Saving Private Ryan version of the Māori Battalion film because we’ve already got Saving Private Ryan, right? So, it has to be something that celebrates being Māori – the stories, the cool, amazing stories of the battalion. It’s got to be in our style, which means it has to be entertaining and fun.”

By Russell Baillie, 24 Nov, 2023 And thanks to @sassy1121 for the article

[littlemarianah]

At the beginning of the year I made two promises to myself: I would get promoted at my job and I would finish writing at least one of my fanfics

Both things are directly linked to two big insecurities of mine.

It's my first job and I constantly doubt it because I'm young and inexperienced. Good news! I just got promoted and... Ah, that's crazy. It was a long process before I got it. I always thought I wouldn't be able to, and I'm nervous about starting with more responsibilities, in a new place. But I'm happy to make more money.

I am constantly doubting myself. and it's a good feeling to feel capable and worthy, for once

About the fanfics.... Well, I'm always fearing in quitting my hobbies. I'm always procrastinating ( I'm in a huge creative block right now.) I guess that's why this was one of my New Year's goals. I am my biggest enemy, great at sabotaging myself. It was a challenge for me to post and write again, in a new language, in a new fandom.

But I'm so excited to finish the fanfiction I've posted (after years of not writing anything) and start new projects I have in mind. Katniss is a mirror for me, I really love her. Writing her is like therapy. Makes me happy every day.

I fell i should fell better about what I've done so far , but I am a little disappointed that I posted less than 40k words even though I write daily... I'm glad I'm at least trying.

This year has been challenging for me, my first time working, having a house, living with my husband, being a adult! It's sad that I don't have my mother, or anyone else, here to advise me. It's scary to set foot on new lands, but I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life. A solid and built happiness, a happiness that I made. I hope this next half of the year is even better! I hope to become less insecure and grow as a person.

My writing productivity is just a reflection of these good times. Thank you Tumblr friends for following me on this journey.

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

I know it’s been a while and I really didn’t want it to be this long, but here I am. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and, to summarize it all, it’s taken a lot out of me. I wanted to have everything done and be able to move onto the Hocus Pocus AU, but honestly, I haven’t even finished the halfway point of the final Camp Wanamaker chapter. I definitely still want to write it, but with October being halfway over already, it feels as though pushing it to next year might be the easiest option (though I would love nothing more than to jump into it right now haha). Anyway, I feel as though I should sort of explain why I’ve been so distant in everything, especially my writing, but it’s sort of taken a lot out of me to write it all out. I do apologize in advance for being sort of blunt; I haven’t really been taking the time to process my own emotions lately and it shows.

For starters, my grandma’s step-mom, my Great-Grammy Donna, passed away. At 94 years old, she was still doing fairly well health-wise and keeping things as interesting as possible. She was creative, always spoke her mind, and, although we weren’t technically blood relatives, I felt just as close to her as everyone else. Her house was home to everyone and she made sure that you never left her house hungry or wanting for anything. She always loved it when my mom and I visited and promised to one day teach me how to make proper Polish food, though we never got the chance. Honestly, she partially inspired me to write Vivien’s Nonna Dawn and I made their personalities fairly similar, which made it really hard to think about writing her character at all lately.

On top of that, my car was having some pretty serious - and rather expensive - issues. In total, I would have had to pay at least 3 grand out of pocket to get it all fixed. Due to being from a family full of mechanics, I managed to find a quick fix for some of it, but the car needs to be road-worthy by the end of November and I don’t have the money for it all right now, so it looks as though I’ll have to just bite the bullet and buy a used car before then. I’m holding out hope that something road-worthy will come along soon, but until then, I’ve at least got my old minivan.

Now, I’ve been working on seeing the good in things lately and one of the few bits of good news I have right now, is that my mom and I have been working out more to get ourselves out of depression. It’s been working pretty well so far. I’ve lost almost 30 pounds and dropped a size, which feels great. As I am pretty tall, my weight is more evenly distributed, but I’m still hoping to be down to my goal weight by my birthday, if not sooner. It’ll be a lot of work, but I’m determined and it’s helping me get into a better head space, which is a bonus, if you ask me.

Anyway, I’m hoping to finish the chapter soon and, if I feel up to it, maybe work on the Hocus Pocus AU. I am still determined to finish this last chapter, but I’m definitely ready to move on as I really want to get into the storylines I’ve been practically dangling in front of my face like a carrot. It might take me a while as I work through things, but I want to make sure I take my time and have things come out the way I would like them to. I don’t want to half-ass anything or give you a cruddy chapter! So, yeah, that’s where I’m at with everything and I hope to get back to writing/posting more soon!

In the meantime, I’ve made my Pinterest boards for Melaka Mystica (Hocus Pocus AU) and True Colors (The Last Of Us AU2) available. There may be other boards making appearances sooner or later as I try to figure out what to write next, but for now, that’s all I’ve got for you. I hope you enjoy them at least a little!

[ahiddenpath]

Life Talk

Tone summary:

Life

I'm lowkey a wreck???? Is that a thing? I think you know what I mean. I get up and do the things, but emotionally everything is like AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

First World Problems

So I've been saving for a bathroom reno for... I don't even know how long, years and years. We have a sum that I thought was pretty substantial??? We went to a showroom and I picked a bunch of stuff I didn't like bc that is what they had. My inspiration for my bathroom is sea glass, and the showroom had neutrals only. Like, the kind of bathroom reno you do to flip a house, but on a much nicer scale.

Anyway, we had y money. Our estimate was y + (y*46%). I mentioned that our estimate made sense about 3 years ago, and the designer said, "Yes, 3 years ago your estimate would be about 6% higher than your budget of y." Meaning there has been a roughly 40% inflation of their services/materials over the last 3 years.

Okay, so like, I get it. I have a home, this is a first world problem. But it also isn't? Because like... What if your pipes burst, and you need to redo your bathroom? Now it's 40% more expensive than it was 3 years ago, through no fault of your own.

It's like everything I was saving for, everything I tried to do... The goal post dramatically leaped in a short timeframe. I'm so frustrated. I'd put it off, but apparently the forecast for this type of goods/services is further unprecedented inflation next year, of course.

I've also spent the whole damned weekend on this, because today, my husband made a 3D model of our bathroom, and I picked stuff I actually like. So like- I haven't done any chores or creative stuff or relaxing. My husband just asked me to get on a call with our two closest friends from out of state to plan a meet up, and I just about burst into tears. I just can't handle more mental load. I don't want to be the person who turns down doing things (that I can reasonably afford) because I'm so overwhelmed, but that's where I am.

Work

It's weird because lately, work has been... A bit better? I take lunches. I leave on time, or even half an hour early. But I'm so beyond burnt out from those few months where I worked closely with someone and did my work plus half of his, or more.

This is a weird thing to say, I know, but I had an epiphany when I was talking to my hairdresser yesterday, lmao! I was telling her all the stuff I did this year at work, and she was like- um, that sounds like a lot? Like really amazing?

And it's true. This year, I generated a type of protein that no one in my company has been able to make. I closed out a project my senior has been trying to do for almost the whole year- I did it in two weeks. I've been taking on and wrapping up lingering projects, all of which I had no clue how to do. My boss calls me The Closer.

And through all of this, I've felt like an underperforming idiot, because I didn't know the skills needed for anything and I struggled and asked a million qs and was anxious all the time. But the people who did have the skills and background couldn't (wouldn't?) do it, and I did.

The place itself is still a massive dumpster fire of chaos. But I'm doing well, except... I'm always given tasks I don't know how to do, and often, no one in my group knows, either. It's all brand new stuff or finishing stuff other people couldn't get done. That is so much extra mental load and stress compared to doing tasks I know how to do.

Creative Life

I've been doing Nanowrimo. Until yesterday, I was doing and feeling great. I wrote all of 83 words yesterday, and 0 so far today, lmao! I'll... try.

I still feel weird/unsure about sharing my work. I'm trying not to focus on that, and instead focus on enjoying creating. Right now, I'm really overwhelmed in general, though.

Fearing for the Future

I'm at the age where if I want to have biological kids, it's uhhhh it's at that "clock is ticking" point. But I'm barely handling myself as I am, without a kid, and stuff keeps getting wildly more expensive. I try to remind myself that I have an anxiety disorder, so my fears are augmented, but...

It really feels like, at this moment, this world isn't fit to bring a kid into. It feels like a lot of the stuff considered normal for a middle class person like twenty years ago is just... Off the table now.

Despair doesn't help anyone, you know? No point languishing on it. But also, uh, it feels very real? I'm sure people think about this a lot lately, so I don't want to catastrophize at length. I guess I'm just sharing that it's on my mind.

I hope you're all well and hanging in there. Please try to take care of yourselves <3

[blooming-inthedark]

I’M HAPPY FOR YOU

but. i can’t be 100% present enough to share your joy because i’m... emulous. and please understand, this makes me feel very shitty. i wish this wasn’t my truth.

currently, three of my female friends are very pregnant. all 3 of them are married. all 3 of them are due within the next month.  all 3 of them are having boys, ironically. and all 3 of them are of course very excited about entering motherhood with their bundle of joy, thus, sharing parts of the very happy but sometimes painful and emotional journey with me.  and of course, i am happy to sit by and listen to the emotional vents, the funny food cravings and cry spells, the random information about do’s and don’ts of pregnancy, and buying all the gifts [that i can afford] for the baby showers! what an exciting time in my friends’ lives, and i get a front row - well, maybe a 7th row seat if i’m being realistic (because hey, niggas be busy with work and life) - to all of the action. 

there’s so much excitement that earlier this week, another one of my female friends revealed to me that she just discovered she is 2 months pregnant. surprise! omg! congratulations! yayy!

but i’m not gonna lie. somehow, hearing this additional exciting news sort of punched me in the gut a little bit. because that little asshole critical voice came through loud and clear.

this is your 4th friend to be with child. the other three are married and she’s engaged. oh, and two of your other friends just closed on a new house this month, with their spouse/partner. two of your friends are high earners. one of your friends from high school wrote a movie and just sold it to a popular TV network. your actor friends? they either gave it up in confidence because they found another passion, or they’re getting booked. so... what is it that you’re doing again?

i know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people. and it’s not even that i desire to have a baby, get married, or get a house right now like my friends. those are things that i want in my future, but none of them are really my ‘right now’ goals. the problem is that everyone around me has something in their lives that they can draw joy from, and i no longer have that. 

now, i’m not romanticizing their lives and assuming that because they have babies, high paying jobs and marriages means that everything is perfect for them. i know that this isn’t true for anyone. everyone has to deal with some level of sorrow, disappointment, pain, or general bullshit. but that sorrow, disappointment, pain and general bullshit is maybe underlining or sprinkled into their circumstances. it doesn’t HEADLINE their existence. 

my frustration since i’ve moved to GA has been losing the balance of things i wanna do vs. things i don’t wanna do... things i like vs. things i really dislike... having a community vs. being by myself...

it seems like everything in my daily routine leaves me drained and passionless. my job is remote, so i spend every day waking up, just to go and sit in the living room. all day. my hours are late, so i miss out on the mingling/networking/playtime events for other actors. by the time i’m off work i’m too tired and annoyed to do anything else other than eat and watch something on tv. my best bet for staying active with creative endeavors is paying for classes but my rent has gone up and my pay has remained the same so i can mostly afford a manicure and a scented candle with what i have left over after bills. i’ve tried to find new jobs, specifically something that doesn’t leave me sitting all day and involves more people interaction. but so far i’ve only gotten rejection emails. the only people who have reached out were scams or didn’t pay enough for me to live off of. 

i’ve also been dealing with a phorid fly issue in my apartment during the warm months that the leasing office has done nothing to combat.  they are not like fruit flies and drain flies, hanging out in one area. they are attracted to light and alcohol and other random shit. they dart in and out of my face all day at work and i’ve been miserable. (luckily because the weather is getting cold they are finally slowly going away) i know i won’t be renewing, but because of the rent prices here and my lack of decent pay, i haven’t been able to find another apartment in budget that isn’t in a crime ridden area or infested with bugs. 

i’ve started and stopped trying to form a physical fitness routine. i try to leave the house on weekends just to say i didn’t spend my entire week in my apartment. i facetime one of my friends every day just to have some people interaction. the few friends i have here i’m able to hang with seldomly, but again we’re all adults with lives and it isn’t very often.

maybe i have a warped sense of what life should look like as a single person who has moved away from their entire family and primary community base. maybe i am stubborn and not willing to sacrifice enough to change my circumstances. perhaps i’m right around the corner from that random, unexpected life changing moment that will turn things around. 

all i know is, at this stage in my life, it has been tough to be happy for others without being reminded that there isn’t much happiness in my own life, and how scary it feels to know it has been this way for a while. naturally you figure ‘i’m the common denominator’ so its gotta be something i’m doing wrong. but this only brings more self loathing. 

i really don’t want every post on this blog to be me complaining and being emotional about things that have hurt or disappointed me in my life. but damn. this is how its going and writing it down helps. 

hoping nobody reads this and judges me. knowing that your opinion means nothing. respectfully. :)

#sigh

envy - 7 me - 0

[lonespektr]

Sept 27th & 28th Double Feature as last night I was out there chasing Jupiter and the moons. I hope you all saw it.

Here you go if you missed it

Pet Semetary

It's actually super nice to get an oldish story and not know a dang thing about it . I miraculously avoided spoilers my entire life.

In an obvious explanation Semetary is spelled that way because a kid spelled it wrong.

It is refreshing to have an adult talk about death like a normal human.

It is not healthy to have an adult shut out the spiritual. Even if you think religious people are fucking lunatics, telling a kid there's no mystery or anything shuts down an important creative element in their brains, whatever ambitious thing your kid wants to do that has never been done before can't thrive if they don't contemplate the unknown in some way.

Already foreshadowing about the bb

In an unfortunate non-twist they kept with the classic of the black man dying first le sigh

Idk if I like the voice over is a bit cheesy

Ugh heavy foreshadowing on the bb

Man spending a lot of time in the street having already seen one fatal car accident and three near misses

The dated elements are showing and not revised

Black man dies first

Man is logical women is emotional and fragile and believes in fairy tales

Demonization/Monstrous depiction of the disabled

These are all old nasty tropes

Hell nah in the water, with the lightening

K just say I'm digging the old man jon lithgow era

Did he tell him to stick em those rocks and weren't they supposed to have masks on or some shit

Not getting tricked into reanimating a corpse

Welp the ovbs guess here is the bb is going to get hit by a car and then dad is going to reanimate him or who knows maybe the dad will fess up and tell the wife and in her histeria she will reanimate the boy and the husband says no, that's not the logic of things!!

The condescending what time is it/ late,

the lies the heterosexual lies that are so common place and the chaste love making 🤮🤮

I never know how I feel about these type of movies where the person is tricked into doing something, like he KNEW something was off but there's no way in hell on earth that's a guess you would make necromancy like that's not possible so house can you be held accountable for like essentially not bailing when there are bad vibes??

They are going for a timeless kinda thing with the timeline which sounds explain why she isn't on therapy

Oh Windigo huh?

And an adult saying i was wrong 😯

He gon be raggedy for the rest of the show?

Wait i think i remember them saying they had to grease up the cat to keep it raggedy looking

Street again

This a thinly veiled corporate attack

Fake out it was big sis good no one wants it to be obvious

Foreshadowing still in play with the bb though

They fail to establish how the secret is kept and oh why the person is changed just like a been to hell thing

More like just abelism with disability as horror

And the girl child perpetrating misogyny? For what?

The cast is ...too small, too insular

Hmm she may have just copped to bring an imposter

Which would explain the random acts of violence

Bruv!!! Get your other fucking kid lordt

What's the goal... just if it's possession then they need more corpses

Turn over time is quick

The cat.. Didn't want Jud to go to the side

I mean they still got the baby

B but like this my point how would it not immediately spiral??? To the whole town

There is a whole theme song. Wow

Ravens Hollow

I'm a Poe Fan

Damn buury the man is alive

Ok i read a bit of a blurb, no spoilers it's Edgar at West Point

Tell tale heart

This is essentially

That's a far as i read i didn't want to get spoiled

Trippin balls to avoid getting brain washed

They went with the poem

Nevermore

Mask of the red death

Or just death itself?

Charlotte

And now the fall of the house of usher

Wait which?

I think i missed something

Thunderbird

Whoo hallucinations

Lol horse

What

Let's ride in the twilight

If i am then we are meant for each other

Uh that was poorly delivered

About orgasms apparently

If it loves it will not suffer with sharing

Booted from the academy

And now an addict

And haunted by the raven

Now he writes

I love it

[beauty-rebel-dgafblog]

Blog.

Looks like I am here again. Blogging on Tumblr. At age 27. I started using this website service before the hype of the internet. It was a breath of fresh post. Peaceful yet real post. Source you know come from average home life prospective. At least that is what my searches gave me. Art, creativity, passion, muse, etc.

This time I come to this place to think. To type my thoughts and share them somewhere with the world. A timeline of sorts.

I've been trying to have simple thoughts about my life lately. Being as though it has gotten so complicated with responsibilities and life ver my adult years. I had my third child and girl eight months ago. Her name is Aubree. I usually go back to work as soon as i can find it and have not done so this time.

In the mist of three babies three years apart each back to back. I lost my body, my self care and then love, and finally my mental. Was going to walk away from it all. Go be a dead beat abandoning mother to my lonesome. THIS year not joke, I kid you not! Being convinced to do otherwise. My path leads me here. Making enough typing errors to give myself an F in keyboarding. (Which is funny because I am teaching my oldest daughter Kristen to start practicing it now for fun!) Watching her reminds me a lot of my childhood trials and error myself of growing into the me I am today.

SO, Anyways my inner thoughts....

I really want to teach myself to farm the food I like to eat. I hope to one day own enough land to wake up and do so on the privacy of my property. Learning that I can gather chicken eggs from a local farm for growing from public education. Which has rather been a benefit thus far of Americas system giving the belief to its students we will be prepared for the real world. There will be a library. Lots of books and clearly plants. Chickens and a dog to watch the chickens.

This has become part of my goal of achievements I want to reach in life. You know things never go as planned.

Before doing this, I am working towards being a certified and experienced CPA. The starting up a club. A club that hosts night and day events. Rents space for events! Host free community events. Be a family place that caters to everyone's fun. Like, maybe a room just for kids when an adult event is being hosted but people do not want to find sitters. Or cannot find sitters. It will be amazing like princess Tiana's restaurant dream. Or Eddie Murphy's characters night club idea. " The BOOM BOOM ROOM". I now just thought I must think of a name. Something inviting to all. For all occasions. Hmm comment any ideas please.

Moving on I am somewhat in school for this rn. I am processing. I just was not being patient with anything after having a baby another baby. Being set back to the stay-at-home and do everything with solely your bills paid and house supplied. No means of driving. Always having to depend on or wait to make it happen for YOU.

[hybridhadal]

ABOUT ME

Hey, how you doin’n, bitch? My name’s Hadal Ai Douglass, but you can just call me Hadal (or HD). 

I’m just your everyday twenty-something year old black and nerdy queer.  I'm 5'6" with brown eyes and black locs. I love gaming, travelling, martial arts, anime, music, cussing (so be warned), and getting into trouble with friends. I know this reads like some corny Tinder profile but bare with me. I'm actually a pretty interesting guy once you get to know me…

I come from the Murx (which is short for Murkstone, VA) and my pronouns are ‘he/him’ as well as ‘they/them’. I resonate more with the ladder though.  Coming from the Murx though, people tend to pretty much call you whatever the fuck they want.  While not as popular as NYC or as hood as Detroit, the people here are characters nonetheless. It can get pretty busy and even crowded on certain occasions too.  It has this sort of Gothic and old time aesthetic which attracts tourists for sure.  But it also still keeps the allure of a regular modern city with the tall buildings, the traffic, burger joints on every corner, and neighborhoods you probably wouldn't want to get caught in at night.

Speaking of which, the nightlife is pretty cool here too.  There’s lots to do. We got clubs, we got bars, we got strip joints, and other stuff. But after you've done it all, it can get a little repetitive. I’ve also lived here since I was a kid.  So, perhaps I’m not the best person to talk to about it.  One of the best things about the city though is that we also have these yearly music festivals that a bunch of outsiders attend.  It’s called the "Deep Flow Festival" and it can get pretty big.  I typically DJ at these events and the like.  So, I’m a little known in the community here. Still, one of my bigger goals in life is to see the world.

One of my biggest dreams is to become a big presence in the music industry; to work with bigger names and make crazy loot.  I know, it's a little cliché but I'm a creative at heart. I already make and sell my beats to some of the rappers and singers in my area (and a little beyond). On top of DJing at some of the spots around here, it pays the bills. It's also better than working some 9 - 5 that drains my life. So, although what I'm doing is barely getting me by, I'm not complaining. But again, I want to be bigger. I wanna be heard around the world. I wanna make big money, and ultimately move out of my little kitchen pantry of a pad. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for the place that I have. But it'd be cool if I could live in better place or maybe even in my own house. In today's economy though, you probably have to be making 1% money to buy and keep a house (especially the kind that I want). But I also want to get into other avenues too. Well, either that or find a sugar daddy to take care of me. I mean, shit, it is what it is.

I’ve been told I can be a bit boy-crazy at times though. On of the reasons I'm really into martial arts is that I love a man who can throw some hands.  But if you're reading this and you're anything like my folks, you'd probably think that I still have a lot of life lessons to learn in that area (and you'd probably be right).  I wouldn't call myself a spring chicken though. I can be a bit paranoid when it comes to men but not in the way you might think.  Like I’m not afraid to get out and get to know people.  That’s pretty much my job to a degree.  I just know some of these men out here can be crazy as all hell sometimes.  So, I do what I can when I can to keep any contingency that I can. 

Growing up, my step-dad pretty much forced me to partake in survival school as well as self-defense training.  He’s one of those Pan-African Hotep types on top of being an ex-marine.  So, he made sure to raise me to be as militant and as hard ass as he could. I'd even go so far as to say that I picked up a few of his qualities (both good and bad). I mean, I never really met my real father or anything like that. So, I normally refer to him as just my dad despite not really getting along with him like that to this day. But, yeah, survival school taught me a lot though.  I kinda had a rough time adjusting to it but I did eventually.  Shit, I even made friends.  Some of which even came up with me from middle school all the way to high school.  

Before all that though, it was just my mom and me.  She and I were practically inseparable.  Then, she got her dream macho man and became the mayor.  Pretty much everything changed after that.  It all became about keeping an image, which pretty much meant keeping any sort of affiliations between her and I secret. I'm not exactly the most exemplary child (or so she constantly leads me to believe).  It also meant spending significantly less time with the person who I at one point spent all my time with.  I can’t blame her though.  My biological father skipped town on us before I could really form any decent memories of him.  So, for a small portion of my formative years, it was just the two of us.  Once my step dad stepped into the picture, I pretty much became that little block of wood that he whittled into a shank.  I don’t know... 

But enough about my mom and dad.  This next fact about me might seem like a bit of a stretch. But the craziest part of my life by far is the fact that I’m actually a practitioner of cosmic sorcery.  Now, I know you’re probably thinking…

“What in the fuck is cosmic sorcery?”

Well, it’s pretty hard to sum up in just a few words but I will do my best.  Cosmic sorcery is the study and manifestation of the universe's darkest secrets.  Think of all that lies in the spaces between universes being summoned to our plane of existence; like being able to call on beings from the heavens and beyond to grant you whatever you desire. Cosmic sorcery can grant its user knowledge, physical enhancement, or sometimes even the complete annihilation of something.  But also, it is an overall teaching of this universe's many elements.  With enough knowledge, I could probably terraform (or flat out destroy) whole cities if not the whole planet. Now, mind you, I'm not on some OP anime character type shit but I know a lot. But yeah, there’s a LOT you can do with cosmic sorcery. 

Ultimately cosmic sorcery preaches the oneness of the individual self and the universe.  It is as powerful as one who practices it puts into it is. That and its incredibly ancient and mysterious. So, you can expect a lot of shit to go unexplained by me. I may practice the bitch but I'm no historian. The way I try to think of it is that it’s basically mankind's biggest kept secret (sorta, I guess).  I mean, of course I’m not the only one that knows it.  That’s also not the only form of sorcery out there.  But it’s the one my grandfather blessed me with before he passed.  I strive to know more and more but there isn’t much on it.  I have to consult beings from beyond time and my own reality for guidance, and that's a whole box of chocolates in itself. A lot of the time, it feels like I'm just winging it.  

But that's about it when it comes to me… 

I feel like I've experienced quite a bit of life while not really experiencing life outside my own little bubble. But I mean, shit, I'm still young. Anything can change at any time. In fact, my dad says that's the only constant. I'm just a simple guy with big dreams and a lot on the mind. The following entries are pretty much a look into all of my highs, lows, and everything in between.  Every dream that I’ve dreamt, every hard time I’ve overcome (or am still overcoming), every boy I’ve ever had a thing with / for, every embarrassing moment I’ve endured, and every triumph I’ve earned will all be here for the world to see.  I hope you find it all as interesting as I do because believe me. It's some crazy shit.

Enjoy

HD  

[leahm2000]

Journal post

July 5, 2023

Why have we as humans drawn aware from the earth and what it has to offer? My drive today traversed several different landscapes from lake side to farming fields to oceans/coastlines and mountain regions. The earth is such a beautiful thing that has so many things to offer and we just take it all for granted. We hardly ever just stop and listen or watch the natural world around us. My goal is to make a more intentional effort to spend time outside, no matter the weather. Maybe I will keep a nature journal on my other blog or maybe just in a notebook.

I was talking to a girlfriend yesterday in the car and the conversation came up that each of us are drawn to a different landscape. For her, it was open fields. She loves the idea of long grass blowing in the wind, basking in the sun. She has always felt at home in the fields. It is actually were she gets a lot of her work done both creative and required. For me it has always been the forest. I love the feeling of being covered by the tall trees and hearing the birds sing above me. I love the different layers of life you can find in the forest.

Growing up, there was a forest behind my grandmother’s house. On the surface there is nothing special about this forest. It’s in a small valley with large steep hills on either side. There’s a small stream the flows through the center of it. Plenty of cute picnic spots and trees to climb. But to us (my grandmother and myself) it is the most magical place. We even named it the fairy forest. It became a place of refuge for us when our lives got too hard. When I found out we lost my uncle unexpectedly the very first place I went was this forest. Same thing when we lost my grandfather. When I was sacred and frightened when the pandemic started or when first responder life got too far into my head. It was my safe place.

It became an understanding in my family that whenever I needed space and headed for the forest I was to be left alone. My siblings all had their own spaces too. For one sister it was the barn or with animals. She would just sit and talk with them. She seemed to be having a conversation with them and they helped her process through anything and everything. My other sister loved the water. She would always go sit by the shore or go to the local pool and do her thing. My brother loved rocks. He was constantly going to different places surrounding our childhood home that were priamirily rocks. Such as the ledges poking out from the large hill or the stone wall built by the old farmers from many years ago. Wherever it was, we all understood that that person needed space. In a fact, sometimes we would tell them to go take a minute in their space. We also never really invaded someone’s spot without them their or having their explicit permission.

In our family group chat I sent a photo of me eating my lunch mid-road-trip today on the side of the road in a random spot against a random tree. All the responses were “Leah in her natural habitat” or “some things will never change”. My siblings then messaged me individually throughout the day telling me that they still visit their spots despite life getting busier and crazier. My brother is no longer in the state but I got a picture of him ‘napping on the rocks’ in the southern state where he lives now. My sister is further east compared to my parents place. Her spot is not the same body of water she had growing up but she still loves it just the same.

I have since moved away from my hometown and thus my special fairy forest. But since I moved ‘further into the woods’ I am constantly surrounded by many different forest that seem to have many different personalities that I can’t wait to explore. They call to me just as a feel there is a certain place that calls to each one of us if we listen.

I wonder what your spot would be?

[princepestilence]

NYR: October in review

Post-October horoscope: “what’s meant for you will always feel natural, calm and clear, not forced, chaotic and confused.”

I live in our own house now. So that’s pretty cool. October has been by far the longest month of this year, and it feels like so much happened in only thirty-one days. Here’s some of it:

little holiday with friends -- was really, really great. So relaxing, so joyful. One of them sneaky proposed at another at the first winery, and it was very sweet. Very happy for them. Very happy for all of us, honestly.  

moved house! It was a full on few days of moving and cleaning and I’m only just now recovering from the sheer physicality of carrying so many things up and down stairs, but it’s been absolutely worth it. Still more to go as far as unpacking and set-up, etc., but we’re getting there. 

had a staff photoshoot for the new year at work. Not actually a big deal or anything, but it was validating to know that I’m going to pass my probation in a few weeks and be a full member of the organisation. It’s so nice to have a job I love this much.

saw some cool theatre! On the evening of settlement, we went to the ballet, and then last week we saw the opening night of a neat season show at work, and then were really good friends and watching a friend perform in The Crucible even though it started at 8pm and went for like three hours. (The play was actually good, but still. That’s so late. I’m old).

went to the slam. It’s been a few months since I’ve been, so it was great to go back and be a part of it. New poem went over pretty well. Very timely for Hallowe’en.

got broken up with. So it goes! I make a point of not being interested in people who aren’t interested in me, so that’s really for the best. Would have been preferable to happen sooner, really, but everyone’s got to figure things out in their own time, I guess. 

In November, I will:

finish moving in. That includes getting all the new furniture set up, arranging the nbn, unpacking the boxes, arranging the bookshelves, fixing up the wardrobe situation, start putting art up on the walls, general tinkering and improvements. 

poetry reading. One last month got cancelled for weather, and the other is actually this month in a couple of weeks. A bit nervous since some people way more known than me are probably going to be there doing their poetry, but that’s okay. 

thesis! Working on this chapter got absolutely trampled by the everything else of October, so I’m putting time in this month to get it finished. Then it’ll be the final chapter in December and time off in January. So close to the finish line, I can almost grasp it.

finish out probationary period at work. Five months went so fast. It’s funny how quickly it’s felt like I’ve always been here. A couple of coworkers mentioned it the other day, and I was so delighted that it felt that way for them too.

ttrpg writing & editing. It was just supposed to be editing but I’ve just been asked to write a starter adventure for the game, so that’s the creative goal for November. Needs to be done by the end of this month. 

medical appointment. It’s at least several months overdue at this point and I feel a little guilty because I knew that, but there just wasn’t a convenient time to be told something like, “you’re going to have to stay off your feet” or “we’re going to have to run tests etc. etc.” especially because that tends to get expensive when specialists are involved and, knowing my luck, specialists may in fact be involved, so I kept pushing through and ignoring the signs as much as possible. But regrettably I do have to face it and figure something out because based on the last... couple of years (?) but especially the last twelve months or so, it’s only going to keep deteriorating if I don’t. So I’ve booked the first step and we’ll go from there. 

my birthday! I’m twenty-nine in less than a week and I feel really great about it. Definitely viewing this next year as the designated victory lap of my twenties. 

start thinking about next year’s resolutions. It’s a little way off still, but it’s a good time to consider what the goals and dreams to strive for next year will be. 

[softscummymammon]

€Male Hashira React to Their MALE S/O Coming Out As Asexual€

••Part 1 ||→ Giyu, Rengoku, Obanai

••Part 2||→Sanemi, Gyomei, Tengen

→+*:;;:*Demon Slayer Headcanon*:;;:*+←

I have decided not to do Muichiro because of the context that he is 14 years old. Due to this, I will not be adding him to the fic. Though this is about asexuality, and therefore the lack of sex, it is still considered wrong to me.

←Sanemi Shinazugawa→

Really, you were kinda shitting your pants at the idea of coming out to Sanemi. You know he's only abrasive and stubborn because of his past, but sometimes reading him is like asking Gyomei what color shirt you should wear.

Aka, pretty much impossible.

But you both were in a committed relationship, and you didn't want to feel like you were leading him on. There is also the possibility of him feeling like you had higher expectations. Knowing how that feels, you never wanted your boyfriend to feel like that.

So, deciding to get this over with and be blunt, which really is the only way you can approach this like this with Sanemi, you sat him down after his afternoon training. When he heard your voice and how serious you were, he made no move to object beside the occasional grumble.

His normally scowly face turned inquisitive as you sat at the chabudai. He sat across from you and asked what you needed him for. Steeling yourself, you tell him you're asexual, and have no or little desire to have any sexual activity. Making sure Sanemi didn't blame himself was key. Otherwise, he'd blame himself.

His face blanks for a second, then he asks if he made you uncomfortable in anyway. You tell him no, that you trust him to control himself, but some touches just can't happen. Sanemi starts to get a little irritated and asks then what is comfortable to you then? You try to calmly explain that cuddles are fine, soft touches on the shoulders, arms and head are fine, kisses too, as long as it doesn't get too heated.

Sanemi takes a few breaths, but explains to you that he has needs too; sexual needs he wanted to carry out with you since you're special to him. You can't help the tears that start to fall, but Sanemi is quick to sit by your side and wipe them away. He's cursing himself out and telling you he's sorry while you're trying to say you understand and feel sorry you're limiting the his show of love.

It gets so hectic, Sanemi leans forward and head butts you. Nothing like that brat did to him, but it was enough to catch your attention. He firmly apologizes for any misstep he took, and shushes you when you trying interrupting him. He carries on saying his love for you can be expressed in more ways than sex ever could, so he'll just have to get creative. Sanemi loves you dearly, and he doesn't want his lack of self control to be the end what the beautiful thing you both had.

So, he does. Whenever he gets that urge he'll leave and deal with it, then come back and pamper you till you both fall asleep or take a nap. He's still weary about how he touches you, but confident hands on your part will ease his hesitancy. Sanemi also becomes super over protective. He'd glare and growl at anyone that gets too close.

He can't grope you like he would have done originally. So, to combat those people that can't seem to think through their brains, he uses his wind breathing style to quite literally blow them away.

←Himejima Gyomei→

Trust and commitment was always an issue of Gyomei. But once he opens himself up, he is unwavering in his care. He loves you dearly, and he takes this relationship seriously. So why have you been avoiding him?

Gyomei sighed heavily and settled down near the water stream. Thinking over the day within his memories, he recounted how you seemed to have been anxious. Himejima may not be able to see, but he can hear your emotions clear as day, your anxious heart and breathing.

The water rushing through the stream eased him slightly, but the memory of your fear put him on edge. He never liked when you felt anything negative. Himejima always wanted to hear that smile on your face and laugh in your speech.

Standing up, Gyomei listened for your heart beat and followed it towards your shared home. Ever since this relationship became serious, you both decided living in Gyomei's home was the best idea since it had more medical supplies and felt more lived in. So it was an easy walk he figured out leads to the training area in the back of the house.

Opening a sliding door that leads to the Zen garden you helped him plant, he found you setting next to the water fountain you both had chosen as an added on feature. Sitting down next to you, he heard you sigh and felt you lean into his side. Gyomei wrapped a careful hand around your waist and let you get whatever was bothering you out your self.

Mustering up your confidence, you suddenly blurt out that you believe you are asexual. He pauses and let's the thought wash over him, trying to remember where he had heard that term before. Now that he recalled, one of the many older children he had helped before becoming a demon slayer had confided with him about the exact same thing.

With a careful voice, he addressed your rising nervousness, " Sex was never my end goal with you, my Rock. My only goal that I ever had was to make you happy. If you believe that sex would only ever make you uncomfortable, or that being sexually active on a regular basis is unnecessary, then I will do whatever it takes to love you thoroughly another way. "

He embraced you that night, feeling the coolness of the sun slowly setting behind the hills. Gyomei held you close to his chest as he rocked you back and forth, setting a firm, callused, yet somehow soft hand on the back of your neck to keep you still and comfort you.

Himejima no longer tolerated you being around people that he could tell made you uncomfortable. He knew all too well how dangerous and capable you could be when you wanted to, but he also wanted to get that feeling of accomplishment when he successfully guarded you away from those he knew where only trying to get with you for something other than your opinion. Besides, it was rather easy to just walk up behind them and set a hand on their shoulder to scare them off.

← Tengen Uzui→

To say that you were nervous with your most recent, yet blatantly obvious, discovery was an understatement. Being with Uzui was a whole other thing in on its own, and you had to overcome hurdles like any couple to be together. For one, it was rather odd to you that he already had three wives, beautiful women that could give him anything he wanted, yet he still chose to date you.

It unnerved you, a little. Though it was common in your home country that having multiple married partners was common, you always felt like you were encroaching on their daily lives.

But, they always made a show of accepting you. Even going as far as to invite you to their gatherings and trips to the city for shopping and sight seeing. You had an amazing time with them, but you can never get away from their....steamy stories. They always got blushy when recalling their first times with Tengen. It never ceased to make you uncomfortable, and they would always tease you about having to excuse your self when the topic of their sex lives came up.

Now that you thought back on it, it was glaringly obvious how you came up with your discovery in sexuality. Though it was already said, you were nervous. Nervous about what Uzui would think, about how his wives would think, and your standing in the relationship would turn. If you even had a relationship after this to begin with.

But, this needed to come out, and you don't think you'd be able to continue to live in a relationship where you couldn't be yourself. So, you had called them all in. It was a lot more intimidating than you would have imagined it to be. All four of them sat around the table with you, each had a different expression on their face.

Tengen set a firm hand on your thigh, trying to give you a supporting hold, but it only made your nerves stand on end. Taking a deep breath, you took his hand into your own and lifted it to sit firmly on the table. Tengen blinked in surprise, as did Suma, Hinatsuru, and Makio.

Deciding to not beat around the bush this time, you tell your recent discovery about being asexual. The silence given afterwards was very...tense. They looked in between each other for quite sometime, likely having a silent convention you weren't privy to even try and understand. It started to get suffocating, and it felt like you couldn't breathe.

You quickly made your way out of their. Standing up quickly and getting out of the room despite your name being called out by four other voices. Getting to your room within Uzui's home, you close the door and lock the door. Going to your futon, you breathe deeply in and out while tears stream down your face.

Footsteps made you freeze. And a soft whisper of your name made you look up towards your door. Hearing a slight thump, you can only imagine as Tengen sits against the locked door and calls out your name again. Sighing, you get up and sit on the other side of the door, giving him a chance to hear you.

Uzui makes sure you're okay before telling you that he was sorry. He explained that he didn't mean for allowing your anxieties to eat away at you like they did, and expressed his wish to be able to help you with them like a good partner should. He tells you that he loves you no matter what, and Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru agree. He didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with his touch either, and his wives apologize for not seeing how uncomfortable you were listening to them talk about their past experiences.

Listening to them, you could hear that they were genuine. So, you stood up and unlocked the door, immediately getting engulfed in a hug by the man himself. Sighing, you felt so much better for being accepted. Leaning into his embrace, you were swept off your feet with a yell and layed down on your futon where he and his partners cuddled up around you.

<————««➹𓆉➷»»————>

[luimagines]

Coul I request the chain reacting to meeting the reader who is Wild's sibling? (If background is needed shrieks science and them whatever purchase did so the reader is just sorta- 15-28 )

Masterlist

I don't understand the second sentence but I think I can infer what you're trying to say. And even then, I came up with a backstory that more less fixes it regardless so yay!

Wild is everyone's favorite chaotic creative sibling!

And I went for older sibling because reasons and just assume that sibling! Reader is in their early twenties.

Content under the cut!

You woke up one day in Hateno village, quietly aware of the silence that echoed through your house.

You miss your brother.

Not that he was here often with his Goddess given assignment nor did he even know who you were for the first half of it.

What a day that was.

Your little brother back from the dead, scars and all and then some... but he had no idea who you were.

It hurt to say the least. But you were told it would happen once the news reached you. He would wake up one day to finish his duty but he would not remember anything regarding his past life.

Even when he found you again, after he somehow remembered you, you didn’t know where to begin.

You just knew that you were so happy to be together again after so long that you hugged him as tight as you could and told him that your door was always open.

To say you both cried is the understatement of the century. It was wet and ugly and messy and neither of you really talk about it but it felt good that day.

And while you both knew he couldn’t stay for long with his adventure being no where near complete. He did come home for the night after he set that travel medallion of his by the front door.

But that was then- before the Calamity was defeated.

Now that it’s gone- so is your brother. Again.

On a different quest this time, it seems.

You don’t understand why your baby brother of all people has to be the one to do it and you would like nothing more than to wrap him up in a blanket and shield him from anything else that comes to hurt him- but he never let you do that as a child- let alone now.

You begin the day like any other and try to get as many mundane chores done as you can before you finally try and get the stable in the back fixed up.

You noticed Link had an affinity to horses and had checked in with the nearest stable to see that he had some lodged under his name.

There’s a place at the house, darn it. Lodge them here. It just needs to be fixed.

With your goal in mind, you lose yourself to the work and the time passes effortlessly.

It’s around noon by the time you hear it.

The familiar sound of activation that gets your heart pounding in relief and unbridled joy.

You drop your hammer and run to the front of the house with the largest grin on your face. “You’re back, you Rug Rat! Come here!”

You single him out instantly amongst the group and tackle him in a hug.

He’s long stopped trying to fight on you on this and has also returned your crushing hug with one of his own. “I’m back.”

“You brought friends too.” You grin and give the group a two fingered salute. “And here I was afraid that this loner child would end up dead in a ditch somewhere and I would be none the wiser. Thank you for looking after my little brother. I’m aware he’s a handful.”

“Ok thanks.” He says.

“Little brother?” Someone from the group asks. They’re lost amongst the sea of head but you nod regardless.

“Yup. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday.” You grin and put your hands on your hips, introducing yourself right after. “Any friend of Link’s is a friend of the family. Come in, come in. Make yourselves at home. It’s not much but it’s ours. Been in the family since before the calamity struck. Let me wash up a bit and then we can get some food going, yeah?”

“I’ll start up the stove.” Link says and you’re about to disagree. After all, he just got home and should rest while he can but he ahs the most unburdened smile on his face that you can’t bring yourself to deny him.

 “Alright.” You sigh and head to the back where the shower is. It’s always been small and a bit cramped and the door stopped fitting correctly about ten years ago but now that’s it’s not just you anymore, you can go around into the giving the house the TLC it deserves.

But you’re starting with the stable in the back.

When you’re finished and you’ve dried yourself off, you get into the house to find it in a delightful array of colors and chaos.

Each of the boys seemed to have made themselves completely at home in the time you were gone and you leaned against the door frame, watching them all interreact.

Your brother didn’t waste any time with getting the stove up and running. You can smell the beginning of lunch getting cooked and it appears that Link has wrangled two of the boys to be his helpers. One appears to be the youngest with bright wide eyes and a similar blue tunic to that of Links and the other looks to be  slightly more timid in the process. He’s around the same height as Link but darker hair and a long white cape still clasped around his shoulders. 

You recognize the Master Sword strapped to his back.

Making a note of that you look around the room again. Three of them have made themselves comfortable at the table. One is easily the biggest guy of the group, red and blue tattoos on his face and scar over his eye as he watches the others go about the admittedly small house. The other two look to be the same size and you’re sure you can look them in the eye if you needed to. They’re talking to both each other and the group that’s cooking. One has a wolf pelt on his shoulder with more tattoos on his face and other is a knight if you’ve ever seen one with a bright blue scarf around his neck.

You’re not one to judge your brother’s friends but you make a mental note to watch him in case he tries anything.

Two of the boys- one with pink hair and the other have the most solid brown mane of the whole group have made themselves spares and are talking quietly to each other and not making a fuss.

The final one looks to be the smallest but he’s got an older glint to his eye that recognize well. He’s wearing arguably the most color tunic of the group with those four patches sewn together. He’s tucked himself away into a corner with a book out, not interacting with either of them outright but he has been looking up and adding his two cents to the older’s conversation at the table.

They don’t notice you’re back which is a testament to how tired they all must be.

They’re an interesting bunch.

But Link did always surround himself with interesting people.

So you’re not really surprised.

“Sooo...” Pinky starts off, calling your bother’s attention. “You have an older sibling?”

“Yup!” He answers, not looking up from the pot. “They were waiting for me the whole time, and even manage to keep the house. Up keep still needs to be done but we’ve been working on it together.”

“But they’re older.”

“Yes. We’ve established this.”

You have to hold back your snort.

“You were asleep for one hundred years.” Four Patches speaks up, closing his book silently. ”Shouldn’t they... ummm...”

“Be dead?”

“Or at least really old?” Mr. Brunette hops in, trying to lessen the blow of the sentence.

“You’re like one hundred and seven teen right? Wouldn’t that put them at being one hundred and twenty something?” Wolf boy offers.

“I guess so. Yeah. They were old at some point.” Link stops stirring and you can see him try to run the numbers in his head. “I know that much. The village talks about them being really old sometimes, but I guess that was years ago because it’s only from the older folk that live here.”

“But they lived through those one hundred years, didn’t they?” Blue Baby Face speaks this time.

“That’s what they told me.”

“So....” The knight tilts his head and tries to put his hands out as if that would help answer the question. “They’re like the Old Man then? Old in their head but young on the outside.”

“You can say that, yeah.” You say and take extreme satisfaction at the way most of the jump at your voice. “Unlike Link, I was alive the whole time he was asleep. I’ve got grandkids in Lurelin and they visit from time to time but someone had to at least keep the house up and running, might as well have been me.”

“I...” Link starts as he takes the food off the burner. “I never asked you how you stayed young, did I?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.” He looks away and deflates a little. Link looks a little disappointed with himself and that won’t stand in this house.

“I didn’t realize it was that important. And I’m going to assume you’ve explained most of the situation Rug Rat.” You laugh a little with a raised eyebrow. “You can blame Purah. You know she wanted to find a way to keep the old from aging, right? It’s why she’s in the body of a little kid again. But when she tried the second formula she realized that if she tried it on herself that it might as well but poof her back into a baby and she wanted to contact Robbie but he’s too far and too old to make that trip. I volunteered.”

“Really?”

“It still didn’t really work, I was transformed into a teenager instead of a child- a horrible time to exist really. But I suppose it was a blessing in disguise. By the time this one-” You step into the house fully and ruffle Link’s hair. “-came back, it left us with the same age gap as before. So in the end I can’t complain.”

“Why’d you volunteer?” Cape guy leans on the wall. “There’s only so many times you can test it, right? Who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse?”

“Yeah, what if it did transform you into a baby again and you forgot everything?” Four Patches stands up and comes to stand by the table, putting his book on top of it. 

“I wanted to take the risk.” you shrug and pull your brother into a hug. “Is it a crime to want to see my baby brother again not matter the cost?”

“Get off.” He whines.

You laugh but do as he asks. “It was never said when he’d be back. Only that he would. I was willing to buy as much time as needed to be there for him.”

“I didn’t remember you...” He mutters to himself.

“You now, don’t you?” You punch him gently. “We’ve talked about this. It’s ok. I knew it was going to happen. It wasn’t going to stop me. Ganon himself couldn’t properly get rid of me. I’m not leaving your side anytime soon.”

He smiles and turns to hug you.

“Now where’s your wolf friend?” You ask. “Are you still traveling together? There’s something I wanted to give him.”

Wolf Pelt shimmies in his seat for a second but you don’t think much of it.

Link shakes his head. “Not right now but he has been coming by every now and then.”

“Well it’s good he’s still around to look after you then in my stead.”

“We have a horse though.” Link tilts his head up to grin at you. “It’s not the same but her name is Epona.”

Familiarity stabs you in the heart and you know it’s something that Link even remember even if he lives another one hundred years.

He was too little when she passed.

“...Like dad’s old horse. Can I see her?” You say with a light constriction in your throat. “How crazy would it be if they looked alike?”

“Dad had a horse?”

“You wouldn’t remember her, you were too little. I barely remember her as it is but yes, he did.” You take a step back and motion back towards the door. “Maybe after lunch you show me. We can bring her to the back and measure up how the stable is. I’ve been fixing it up.”

“Really!?” Link blinks, an excited glint appearing in his eyes.

“Yes. That’s what I was doing when you first came in. But let’s eat first.” You put your hand to the small of his back and push him gently in the direction of the table. “And then you can tell me about your friends and this new adventure of yours.”

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[bookwyrminspiration]

is it still council-hating hours? even if not, this is something that's been bothering me for....so long. and i am going to explode if i don't say it right now. (In fact i actually have a doc titled "council incompetence rant" that is. getting a little long.)

One of the things that annoys me the most in Keeper is how utterly incompetent the Council is. They are shit at their jobs! They don't make sense! And that would be fine if that was something that was explored and talked about in the story, but it's not?

Like, sure, it's brushed on a little, but Keeper never goes in-depth in order to explain just how flawed and corrupt the system is! We have no idea how far the rot goes because we haven't been given a chance to see how far it goes, and despite the earlier books being really great setup for all kinds of plots and discussions surrounding the Council, it feels like Messenger is completely dropping that in favor of..."Neverseen Bad, Council + Black Swan Good". Which I call fucking bullshit on, by the way, because this series has gone to pretty decent lengths before to show that it's not the case! So WHY are we getting to that now?

Well, I think all of this is the symptom of a bigger problem.

Note: I don't want to be mean, and please tell me if I'm being too critical here, but this series has some serious problems actually delivering on what it's saying.

Like, it's trying to tell us that Sophie shouldn't be doing all this because she's a kid, but then it treats her very own existence as a project as background information when that should absolutely be at the forefront (like it was in earlier books)!

It's trying to tell us that discrimination against the Talentless is bad, but then every single member of it's cast has an ability, has a strong ability, and regularly uses their ability! Even Dex, who could have easily been talentless and good with tech, gets to be a Super Good Gadget Person thanks to his ability as opposed to his own creativity and ingenuity.

It's trying to tell us that maybe banishing children is bad, but also tells us that Exillium is now """fixed""" because Oralie gave them...better tents? Food? And never touches on the fact that children are still. getting. banished. It doesn't explore Tam's anger in detail, Linh is only there to be the token asian girl, it does nothing to fully dispel any thought of the Council being alright.

And it's trying to tell us that the Council fucks up, it's showing us that Councillors have no problem being incredibly selfish and violent and so many other terrible things, but that never changes. Nothing in Keeper is changing. It is only maintaining the status quo!

I'm confused as to what Messenger is trying to tell her readers! Are the Council good or bad? Is working with the Council good or bad? Are the Black Swan and Neverseen actually morally grey? Should I be angry at what's happening in these books? Am I meant to look at all the rot and shrug because "that's just how it is"?

And like...I wouldn't be mad if Keeper was just...bad! I mean, I would, but I wouldn't be as distraught! What really grinds my gears is that Keeper has the chance to be good. It has the chance to do great things - and at times it absolutely does! - but it keeps reinforcing belief in a deeply flawed and broken system that is regularly hurting people. And those examples were just off the top of my head!

And again, if this was explored within the series, that would be amazing, but the problem is that it's...not. And that's just...a real fuckin' shame, honestly.

- pyro

(sorry if this was like...too angry? i started and then kinda just...couldn't stop. i should probably get a hobby that's not tearing a middle grade series apart. oops.)

it may have been over a week since you sent this (thank you for being patient with me!!), but fuck yes it is still council hating hours. it is always council hating hours in this household that is not actually a house. (also that incompetence rant sounds intriguing)

yes! you are right! they are so bad at what they're supposed to be doing it's like they're just figures for people to look to and say "yea they'll take care of it" to keep everyone else from acting out! but it's really interesting to see a government so awful and incompetent be such an integral and influential part of the story...without acknowledging that they're actually really bad? I know in Unlocked there's a line where Shannon says something like "Sophie had to figure out who the bad guys were: the black swan? the council? someone else entirely?" but then it's never touched on again that I can remember. Thinking through the series, I honestly can't think of a situation that the council, of their own volition, saw was an issue and corrected in a way that was beneficial to those who needed it. Like yea, Oralie gave money to Exillium, but that was after Sophie chewed her out about it. I think i've said it before but in case not: it feels like they've taken the "for the good of the many over the good of the few" ideology too far in a society that doesn't work for. If someone threatens the majority (and often that's just in appearance only) they get rid of them to preserve the image of the rest. It doesn't care about their people, it cares about the majority of people feeling undisturbed.

considering Sophie is part of a huge organization created literally because their society, led by that system, isn't working for a lot of people, they (the Black Swan) sure do go along with the council a whole lot. I think one of the linked posts in one of my masterposts is specifically about how making the Black Swan work so closely with the council screwed them over and completely undermined everything they were working towards. I'm going to make a very vague comparison here, but the Black Swan feel like "we need to fix the system" while the Neverseen are "the system is broken lets start over" (except the Neverseen added a lot more violence into the mix). It's absolutely infuriating to have them working side by side: one, because the Black Swan aren't accomplishing any of their goals and should cut their losses and go back to being mysterious underground groups with more freedom to move (in my opinion), but two, because it makes the council seem like it's trying to fix things when really it feels like a publicity thing to make the public think they're addressing the rebel issue while they're really just showing up in places and causing problems. And!! that's another thing! it feels like their collaboration with the Black Swan is to address the problem of having rebels, not the problems these rebels have identified and are trying to fix. Unfortunately, it seems the council is getting their way more than the Black Swan, getting them to act more legally and work closer with less room for working outside the system. if that makes sense.

considering it's literally stated in unlocked that there is no "good" and "bad," there does seem to be a lot of focus on associating the Black Swan with being Right, and the Neverseen with being Wrong. I can hope that it's the outward reactions to the Black Swan realizing they've done some fucked up stuff (Sophie) and are now overcompensating and trying to make sure their every move is the correct one. But I do think it will be interesting to see if Sophie makes the connection in canon (as she's already started to) that there isn't always a right option, there's just the best you can do with a situation and the Black Swan's insistence that she was "in the wrong" (a summary) helps her realize her own values and think through their decisions with her own perspective instead of just trusting them

response to your note: you're fine! you bring up a good point that this book sounds like it wanted to be a unique perspective (by having the "good guys" also be questionable and give the "bad guys" reasonable motives) but the execution misses the mark for a lot of us. so you're qualms and observations are entirely valid and I don't think you're being mean at all! I think you're expressing a frustration you have with something, which I support and encourage.

at times it feels like Shannon bit off more than she could chew in terms of all the complicated things she could get into when it comes to this series. not saying she's doing a bad job or a horrible author or anything, just that there are some things she introduced that kind of get left behind or unexplored because there's so much else going on. I think we can see that in the whole being experiment part of Sophie life. we saw sophie was uncomfortable with it in the first few books and would sometimes bring it up, but I personally would've been more satisfied if she'd either taken the time to process it (opposed to her think about that later strategy) or come to the realization that no, she isn't okay with it and she deserves to have her thoughts on the matter heard. she was literally created to serve someone elses purpose, and brought into the fight too early at that. and yet it's treated like an "oopsie, guess we just gotta go with it" thing, like this minor part of her story when I bet her thinking about it for more than a minute at a time would absolutely wreck her. but I'm getting caught up in this, so moving on!

I think we can see it in the talentless too, as it's treated like a "that doesn't affect me" thing for Sophie. because she doesn't have any friends that are talentless right now--the closest she's got is Marella, who I think is still legally considered talentless with her pyrokinesis. it's been acknowledged that she doesn't think the way talentless are treated is right, but it doesn't impact her right now so she's not really doing anything about it. maybe if this was brought back later with someone like Jensi, then that would be a satisfying conclusion to this issue (not a conclusion, but it wouldn't be left hanging, if that makes sense). And I can understand the benefit of leaving things open to go back and explore later from a writers perspective, but at a certain point it becomes more of a hindrance to the story than anything else.

and exillium! I have so many thoughts on Exillium that I actually started talking about it earlier in this post. They're not doing anything unless prompted and what they do is the bare minimum. With the tents and the food, they aren't fixing Exillium, they're making it into what it should've been at the very least were they going to actually go down that route. So I can't praise them for it when it's just basic decency to provide literal children with food and shelter when you force them to be somewhere they don't want to. But all this doesn't fix Exillium, because the problem is that it exists in the first place. The problem is that the council saw children who were struggling, and decided the best thing to do with them was to just get them out of the way for everyone else. Three coaches total for leadership? yeah, there's no way that place was ever supposed to be "alternate learning" or however Oralie phrased it, that was just so you could say you hadn't completely abandoned them in the middle of nowhere.

you're so right about the council fucks up bit--I think the most obvious example of this is with Sophie's ability restrictor. Yea, she's not wearing it anymore, but that's not because the council changed their minds. It's because she broke the law and the didn't punish her for it. this is a great example of how things keep trying to move forward, but the council isn't doing anything to stay up with it. "they are selfish and violent[...] but that never changes." yes!! this!! you put it so well! the council is still the same old council that we saw in book one, concerned with their own interests and their own views, just trying to mitigate the damage Sophie and her friends are capable of doing to their system. Note: the fact that a handful of teenagers who haven't even graduated can do this much damage might be telling of the structural integrity of their system. Bronte and Terik did a little flip, and Alina replaced the Now Crispy Kenric, but aside from that nothing has changed.

I will say, I personally don't want it to be clear who the good guys and bad guys are. (not saying that's what you're asking for! just piggybacking off your comment on the confusion). I'm glad that the characters make me think and I'm grateful there isn't just the "we're good and they're bad" element you see in other stories. not that that's bad, i just think realistically they'd be more complex and their simplicity grows repetitive after a while. But like I said, at times it feels like there's too much going on for there to be a clear message, which in and of itself could be the message. i could be seeing something where there's nothing, though. I think part of it might be Shannon trying to take on all these complex narratives and perspectives with a limited perspective (as in she only has Sophie to tell the story through), while also needing to make it enjoyable and palletable to a young audience.

and I agree with you! I think it's a lot of the potential we see not being used that makes us so infuriated (or me at least). Because there are some stories yo uread where you're like "ah. it's just one of those stories. cool." and you move past it. Because you know it's going to have a set perspective and you know it's going to accomplish what it wants, but Keeper seems to have so many possibilities and Shannon's getting stuck in this rut of good and bad after so long. maybe we'll get out of it in the next book with sophie thinking the Black Swan was in the wrong, but I also wouldn't be surprised if that Didn't Happen.

it's just like what i was saying about Ro! There's all these opportunities for these characters and this world to be really explored and fleshed out and complex, but we've gotten stuck in this romance drama and loosing fights again and again with little progress. All their actions are undoing the Neverseen's actions and counting it a victory because no one is dead. I just think there could be so much more that we're not getting because the story tried to go too broad when it wasn't ready for it.

this response got very long but in essence: I agree with your assessment of the story. is frustrating to see so many of the details and paths we'd like to see explored that often aren't in fiction just pass us by.

there is a special place for keeper in my heart and I will always appreciate it for that, but I also mourn what it could've been.

(also: you are not too angry! you have genuine thoughts about this series and they deserve to be heard! we are allowed to have complaints, even about the things we like. we don't have to appreciate every single aspect and we're allowed to be mad at the things we don't like.)

[dornish-queen]

Pedro Pascal: “I already took all my drugs very early. In middle age, a hangover is not an option ”

When he was approaching 40, he resigned himself to having sporadic papers that would allow him to pay the rent. But playing Oberyn Martell in 'Game of Thrones' changed his life and opened the doors of 'Narcos'. Since then it has not stopped. Now he's the villain from the blockbuster 'Wonder Woman 1984'

JUAN SANGUINO

THE ANGELS OCT 2, 2020 - 3:19 PM EDT

The first big opportunity of his career was presented in 2011, when he participated in the pilot episode of Wonder Woman for NBC, but the network discarded the series and Pedro Pascal returned to his main occupation: casting castings to play the criminal of the week in the Law and order of duty. “That cancellation was a disappointment, of course, I wanted to work. I did not care if it was something good or bad, I just wanted to work, "he recalls today from his home in Los Angeles during a virtual conversation with ICON. Now Pascal plays the villain of Wonder Woman 1984 , one of the blockbusters destined to return audiences to movie theaters .

How can you not believe in fate? The boy who broke his arm twice playing Indiana Jones has ended up becoming the favorite hero of the kids (the bounty hunter in The Mandalorian ), his parents (Agent Peña in Narcos ) and, well, everyone's. world (Oberyn Martell, The Red Viper, in Game of Thrones ). When Pedro was little, the good guys were always white and the bad guys were Russian, Arab or Latino. The Wonder Woman 1984 villain , however, is a white billionaire played by a Chilean.

“The film is set in the United States of the eighties, which were marked by capitalist greed. It was a tainted concept of evil. Stripped of humanity, but still absolutely attractive and alluring. People who dreamed of being rich and successful had to be salivated. It is true that at that time villains in the cinema projected a xenophobic image. Now the white man can finally be the bad guy, ”explains Pascal.

 Some already compare his character, Maxwell Lord, to Donald Trump because of that muck in this mud: Reagan's glorification of rogue moguls in America turned guys like Trump into aspirational role models and glamorous stars. “Trump was not the core of inspiration for my character, on our costume designer's board were Gordon Gekko [Michael Douglas on Wall Street ], American Psycho's Patrick Bateman and other suckers in expensive eighties suits. All those millionaires who hid despair, unbridled ambition and terrified masculinity ”, he clarifies. If Pedro Pascal sounds like a socialist infiltrated in Hollywood it is because that is exactly what he is.

“When Reagan was elected, many people around me were frustrated that the worst forms of capitalism were winning. In my home, with refugee and socialist parents, conservatism was not demonized but it did go against what was important to my family, ”he says. Pascal's father, José Balmaceda, was an Allende supporter doctor who saved the life of a priest wounded by Pinochet's militia .

The priest was later tortured and ended up confessing the name of his savior. When the police went to look for Balmaceda at the hospital where he worked, he took his wife and the newborn Pedro and jumped over the wall of the Venezuelan embassy in Santiago de Chile to request political asylum. That's why Pedro ended up growing up in San Antonio (Texas), in a socialist home but in Reagan's land. A Chilean with no memories of Chile who was called Peter in high school.

At the age of 20, Pascal was in Madrid working as a go-go and keeps good memories. Here she is wearing a Prada sweater. Photo: Danielle DeGrasse-Alston / Realization: Warren Alfie Baker

The Chilean-born but US-raised actor wears a Paul Smith sweater and suit. Photo: Danielle DeGrasse-Alston / Realization: Warren Alfie Baker

Pascal has never left the immigrant mentality behind. Even his father, who came to open a practice in California, always lived in terror that at any moment everything could vanish. “It doesn't matter who you are, how much you are working or how much you get paid. Deep down you always think that each job is the last one ”, confesses the actor. Maybe that's why he didn't dare move from his Red Hook, Brooklyn, hovel to a house more suitable for a Hollywood star until filming for Kingsman 2 and Narcos was over . Nor is it that he had spent more than an entire week at his house since, in 2014, Game of Thrones made him the guy most people would want to party with.

Pascal knew right away that Oberyn Martell, the Westerosi rockstar who always seemed willing to fight or fornicate with the same bravado, was going to change his life. “I had done a lot of castings for friends' plays, for copier factory ads or for very serious independent films that no one was going to see, while I watched how many characters that I had been about to play changed the lives of others. actors. And thanks to my experience and maturity, I recognized the potential of Oberyn. I understood who he was and who he could be ”, he presumes.

The actor found out about the audition when one of his acting students told him that he had taken the test but had been discarded because of his youth. Pedro snapped up and must have thought, “What would Oberyn do?” So he recorded a video on his phone and sent it to his good friend, actress Sarah Paulson . She passed it on to her good friend actress Amanda Peet and this one to her husband, David Benioff, one of the creators of Game of Thrones . The rest is the history of television and headaches: when he informed the Narcos producer that he was available to play Pablo Escobar's pursuing policeman, he accused him of making a spoiler for Game of Thrones: If Pascal had a free agenda, it is because Oberyn was going to lose his fight against La Montaña . He couldn't imagine, of course, in what way.

  Part of that electric, lively and hedonistic energy of Oberyn comes to Pascal from the summer (that of 1996) that he spent in Madrid, where in addition to studying he worked as a go-go in a disco. That stay was transformative because the actor realized that he had had to adapt his identity all his life with each new move, but in Madrid he felt effortlessly at home. “I was 20 years old and I liked it so much that I almost moved. My main language is English, I have an American accent and I can pass for white. But in my house there were many cultural differences with respect to the outside world and I remember that when I was 20 years old, when I came to Madrid, I felt very comfortable in my own skin in a way that I had never felt anywhere else. I guess I was not aware that I had spent my childhood and adolescence learning new ways of adapting, connecting, learning, and pulling. On the contrary, living in Madrid was organic and easy for me. I made friends right away and I felt supported, ”he recalls.

By the time he was 40 Pascal was resigned to being an actor with enough odd jobs to pay the rent. According to him, his aquiline nose was a bad nose by Hollywood standards. Far from being offended or frustrated by this typecasting, he was looking forward to it, if it translated into a new check. “It is very strange to develop a fantasy as a child, to have the opportunity to turn it into a hobby, then some studies and finally transform all that into a career. That is the bet. But my dream of becoming Leonardo DiCapriodied. He died dozens and dozens of times. So to move on he had to accept that, at best, he was going to be an actor with a job. That was already a triumph, "he says. "Also, I accepted that I was not qualified for anything else, I had no more skills: I had put all my time, my energy and my concentration in being an actor and the rest in living life and having fun."

That absence of vanity lives on today, even when he's been involved in large-scale projects for five years without stopping. After Game of ThronesHe has made eight films, of which seven are action blockbusters. The wave of fame came to him when he was no longer expecting it but when he was well prepared to ride it. Still, every workday is a surprise and she acknowledges that what amazes her most about Hollywood is the sheer physical stamina that people have. “Sometimes a project can look like building a city, with all the hours, all the work and all the energy it requires. Some people have better stamina and can get by with little sleep. That is an interesting contradiction: all the people creatively involved in a film have a special sensitivity and at the same time have developed a very tough skin and energy to go through the physical experience of shooting it, ”he admires.

 Then Pascal switches to Spanish (the language he uses to confess intimacies) and explains, in a few words, that he is old for this shit. “I thought I had all the energy in the world and now, in my 40s, I see that ... wow! There are times when I don't know if I will be able to reach the goal, because my energy is not at the necessary level. But I always take it forward ”, he guarantees. Maybe that's why people get so high in Hollywood. Pascal responds between laughter and again in Spanish.

“I already took all my drugs very early. It is something that is already too much in the past, and in middle age a hangover is not an option. No, no, no ”, she assures. What if the other hangover, that of the wave of fame, runs over you? “I was a good waiter. Not at first, because they fired me many times, but I ended up getting the hang of it, ”he jokes. If the Hollywood thing doesn't go well, you can always put drinks again. But for now Pedro Pascal is the personification that the American dream , although sometimes it takes a little longer to materialize, really exists. Even Ronald Reagan would be proud.

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