#my husband follows this blog and i am never going to hear the end of this fucking post

[nerdragenewvegas]

me, pre Fallout, never having really seen anything with Goggins in it: ehhh he's hot when he's a ghoul but I don't know if he's my cup of tea otherwise me, a month deep in whore-prison with the other ghoulie girlies: I want this weird cryptid ass looking tv evangelist so fucking bad I cannot actually verbalise it, but what I can tell you is that it is something so deep and primal and ancient that I could stand before Cleopatra and attempt to explain myself, and despite us sharing no common tongue, she would understand me.

EDIT: Oh no i got up to the part where it's a flashback and he's a hot uncle and i am literally at critical mass what the fuck

[countrymusiclover]

19 - Targaryen Sisters Finally Clash

Part 20

The Lion Knight and Dragon Princess

Tags- just send an ask to be added @cdragons @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea

Flying over the green land I ended up hiding us behind one of the tall hills still with a good view of the army. Squinting my eyes tightly I could see some form of people on horseback charging at the army. But they seemed crazier than the one we had knowing that we were in trouble. “Mommy, what are we going to do out here?” My son asked me while he slid down her dragon tail helping his sister down.

“You two are going to stay right here. While I do what I can to protect our home.” I told him with a very stern voice.

Luciya pointed her index finger out towards the distance gaining my attention to the battlefield. “Daddy’s on a white horse.” She was in fact right because I saw the single horse galloping across the field.

Resting a hand to my ring necklace for comfort I knew Jaime could handle them until a familiar shriek came from the skies making me curse under my breath. “Seven hells. Please don’t be all three of them.”

Amethyst made a noise seeing the same creature I do. Shifting my gaze down to the ground I had her shoot up into the sky seconds before my Targaryen sister set them on fire. Flying through the clouds I saw our army had brought the giant crossbows. Men were screaming before I lifted my head up seeing Dany riding her dragon burning a section of wagons turning everything into a bloodbath underneath us. She nearly hit Jaime until I had my dragon bolt in her direction shouting in Valyrian. “Draycrays!”

My sister swung her dragon out of the way avoiding my attack. She flew up higher seeing me and Amethyst before she blew fire at us. Gripping her scales, my dragon does a flip in a barrel roll and accidentally sets fire to some of the lion soldiers. “Land - land - ugh! That’s a good girl.” ” I gripped her, tugging her in the opposite direction, getting her to land a few feet away, seeing most of the stuff on fire.

My eyes were forced to remain focused on everything on fire with people screaming in agony taking me back to the years my father was alive. “Vaella, what are you doing out here?” Tyrion’s voice rang in my ears.

“Coming to rescue my husband and stop my sister from taking siege of Casterly Rock. What the hell are you doing here?”

My dwarf friend responded, seeing me scowl at his words. “I am following the Queen I support in taking back the Iron Throne. She’s doing what she thinks is right.”

“Will she kill Jaime if she gets her hands on him? Will she kill me?”

He lowered his gaze. “Both are possible. I tried to talk her out of it but-“

“Shut your mouth! I will not let anyone hurt the people I love. I’ve lost too much in my life already ... .my brother was right I should’ve disappeared better like he attempted with Lyanna.” I felt tears welling in my eyes thinking back on the night I got to hear his plan to flee the city for good and had his sights set on Dorne.

Rhaegar dragged me through one of the passageways of the Red Keep until I could see that we were sneaking into the streets of Kings Landing. It was common for him, but not for me. “What are we doing out here? I’ve never been - where are we going?” I was what some would whisper a tower princess.

“I needed somewhere beside the castle to tell you something important without fear of fathers spies hearing our conversations.” My brother finally explained by the time we had snuck up onto one of the old tavern rooftops where no one would find us unless we talked rather loud.

Holding the hood of my black cloak over my head I questioned him. “What do you need to tell me, brother?”

“I am going to be leaving soon. I intend to run away with Lyanna Stark, the woman I truly love.”

“Rhaegar!” I raised my voice clasping my hands over my mouth terrified someone had heard me. I slowly lowered my hands changing my tone to a whisper. “Have you lost your mind? You’re already wed and she is promised to Robert Baratheon.”

He put his hands on my shoulders trying to calm my nerves down. “I know the risks. But I can’t stay married to a woman I don’t love.”

“What about the throne? You’re our fathers heir. Viserys is only seven years old. He can’t run an entire realm if father dies.” I pushed his hands away, running my fingers through my hair.

Rhaegar raised his hands up. “I’m sorry, Vae. I don’t want to be a prince anymore. I want real love and a family in the countryside with her.”

“Is there any way I can talk you out of this?” I asked with very little hope.

He shakes his head no sending me a half smile where I knew he would never push the love for Lyanna away from that day on. “I’m sorry but no, dear sister. If you want a simple life like me you should run with me. You should do whatever it takes to keep you and your loved one safe.”

I got drawn away from my memory hearing a spear bolt fly up and strike Dany’s dragon causing it to let out a wounded cry in agony. Shifting my gaze out onto the fiery field I noticed it was Bronn who had fired the hit. Men around us along with horses were burning from fire. Wagons were destroyed and I suddenly realized that this would be a nightmare for Jaime. He may not see the same danger from me but he definitely sees it in the Dragon Queen. "Tyrion, we have to stop her. She'll kill everyone in the Lannister army."

"She wants to be a different queen. She wants to stop the wheel." He looked up at me before Amethyst released a call out to me. Turning my head in her direction I could see Jaime and his white horse focused on the dragon and its queen who had now crashed onto the ground.

Slowly walking towards Amethyst I prayed he didn't do something stupid. Only another dragon could beat another dragon. "Jaime, in the name of the gods, don't do anything."

"Flee you idiot." His little brother mumbled beside me watching the dragon girl attempting to pull the bolt out of her dragon's side. The creature made some loud noises but she couldn't get it out on her own. I felt sorry for the creature as I climbed on Amethyst’s back. "Vaella, if you charge at her. Her dragon will kill you."

Resting my hands on her scales I felt the baby kick inside my belly. "If I do nothing and he charges, she will kill him." I hated to think that someone who shared my blood would kill people, similar to our father.

Focusing my eyes back onto Jaime I cursed under my breath seeing him start running forward on horseback grabbing a spear on the way charging at her. "You idiot. You fucking idiot!" Tyrion mumbled before I kicked her in the side and she shrieked shooting up into the sky.

Flying as fast as we could, I still wasn't close enough to him when the dragon turned its head. The dragon queen saw him moving out of the way before hers breathed fire. "Jaime!" I shouted at the top of my lungs seeing someone tackled him off his horse and into the water.

“Daddy!” Rhaegar and Luciya cried out as they ran on the ground from their hiding place that I had left them at, running to the spot that Jaime had been at with Danny’s about to open its mouth at them.

Amethyst dove down towards the ground blocking her body in front of my twins and Daenerys. Sliding down the dragon wing I stand in front of the three of them where I clutched my hands into fists at my sides shouting her name. “Daenerys! I will kill you if you lay a hand on my children.”

“How dare you threaten me. State your name so I may know the woman so bold to challenge me. I wasn’t even aware another dragon lived in Westeros.” My sister raised a brow standing a few steps before me.

Keeping my gaze locked onto the gaze of my sister. “My name is Vaella Lannister, formerly the daughter of Kings Aerys II and Rhaella Targaryen. I am your older sister. This is my dragon Amethyst and my children Luciya and Rhaegar.”

“When you say Lannister do you mean Jaime Lannister?” She asked me in a very cold tone.

Nodding my head slowly in agreement I never pictured this would be how I would finally be meeting my sister who I believed was dead. “Yes I do. What are you going to do to me now?”

“I Daenerys of House Targaryen, breaker of chains and mother of Dragons, seize you and the rest of your family as my prisoners.” My sister declared while I saw some of her army rushing over and drawing their weapons, aiming them around the four of us in a circle. Amethyst lowered her head when I sent her a look to not kill her, it was safer for all of our lives if we just cooperated with her commands.

[belit0]

You are very busy lately I don't want to request but wanted to give my little ideas for writing I just had so many ideas whenever I read your blogs so here it is ( reader reading spicy books and him making her read it to him while doing it for indra )

💗💗 love your blogs keep it up

Thank you dear for your patience, here I am at last! I'm glad my writings give you ideas, that's always the goal.

It's crude, dirty, humiliating in the best sense of the word. Leaning against his chest, (Y/N) holds the book she was so determined to hide in her hands, legs spread wide and waist encircled by her husband's arms.

She didn't intend for her dark little secret to be revealed, she thought she was doing a great job of keeping Indra from finding that volume, but the leader of the Uchiha clan always has the most mysterious ways to surprise.

"Go on, continue reading." The low tone of his voice in (Y/N)'s ear makes her tremble in his grip, and she rearranges herself on the bed as much as she can. She doesn't want to do it, doesn't want to utter those words out loud, read something so raw and explicit in front of her own husband, but there is never a choice when it comes to him.

The girl coyly begins, recounting the beginning of a terribly exciting scene, one of the best in the whole book. The protagonist is finally captured by the antagonist, and he uses and abuses all his supernatural techniques to possess her as he wishes. It's awful, morbid, complicated in terms of tastes and fetishes, something that (Y/N) would prefer to keep private and away from Indra's mind. Her husband doesn't need to know how dirty she is, the things she likes to read, it would be ideal if he kept the elegant and perfect image he had of her before this.

(Y/N) accepted an arranged marriage with the most powerful man in the world for several reasons, but good sex was never among them. The woman never expected to be satisfied in the way she liked, in the way she needed. She thought her function would be based on procreation, to open her legs every few years and create a valuable lineage for him, but when Indra himself surprised her with unusual tastes and interests between the sheets, the book she brought with her from home was forgotten.

That same unfortunate afternoon, her husband stumbled upon the dusty pages by mere chance, after looking for a scroll of his own in the wrong place. Reading the contents of the tome left him feeling a mixture of different things, but one sentiment won out over all others.

"Louder, (Y/N). I can barely hear you." Torturing her is a regular part of the process, and one of his large hands slides down the expanse of her stomach, caressing the soft skin of her inner thigh and back up. He won't let her stop, that much is clear, but he intends to make use of her amidst all this lewdness.

She continues, follows his intrusions, and when the scene reaches the point where the antagonist begins to touch the protagonist, her husband's fingers caress her clothed crotch, a quiet touch but one that says more than a thousand words. (Y/N) tries to ignore it, to end that process as soon as possible and forget the existence of her intricate tastes in literature, but when the raw skin-to-skin contact blossoms on her pelvis, meaning begins to slip from her vision.

Two fingers stroke up and down her slit, pressed by the clothes she wears and which Indra seems to have no intention in moving out of the way. (Y/N) lays her head against his shoulder, sighing at the sensations of looming pleasure, but her husband halts when she ceases reading. " Have I told you to stop?"

(Y/N) knows there is no escaping this, that she will be subjected to admitting the arousal this kind of written content provokes in her, and the inibition begins to fade as that hand resumes its caresses, gathering moisture from her hole and going over her lips from the end all the way up, wetting the entire area in the process.

In the book, the antagonist probes the protagonist's pussy with his tongue, and Indra increases the speed of his touches between her legs. Two fingers are tasked with drawing wonderful circles on her clit, and (Y/N) can't even think about the state her underwear must be in.

She moans as she reads, losing her breath word after word, unable to concentrate but determined to give what her husband demands of her. She will recount the entire scene, whatever it takes.

When the antagonist finally penetrates his victim, two fingers enter her, deep and hooked to strike that wonderful spot inside her. (Y/N) trembles as a thumb presses against her clitoris, unmoving but present in sensation, and the book closes in her hands as she opens impossibly wider for him, exposing all she has and more.

The reading is forgotten as Indra's free hand closes over her jaw and turns her head, devouring her mouth as her pussy is serviced by his manual skills. It's dirty, terrible, exposed in a totally unexpected way, but a dark satisfaction glows inside her knowing that her husband likes her eating that kind of material.

Indra touches her, fucks her with his hand, and when (Y/N) finishes on him without even having undressed, she knows that the party has just begun.

[angeltreasure]

I recognize that I may never find a husband, be blessed with a family, get to fulfil my hearts desire of being a mother, a wife, and a helpful hand to the church. I tell God every day that I understand that in the end, I only have him, and I try to feel his love throughout my days, count my blessings and find joy in solitude. Jesus is my only friend, and I try to talk to him like he’s beside me but I’m left feeling alone and useless. I’m pursuing a career while working full time. Every day I’m studying all night after work. I am deeply unhappy with the direction I’m headed in and I do not want to be a woman with a career, it goes against my heart. I don’t believe women should even work in the field that I’m going into but I can’t stop now, I became an adult so quickly and suddenly I’m running out of time and money to spend on school. I just wish God had planned something different for me- But how can I even say that? I don’t know if it’s selfish to ask for a prayer for some kind of consolation when I am truly so blessed and lucky to be so privileged. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I just want to forget my ego and be able to dedicate all my energy to honouring God and inspiring others to do the same.

I’ll pray for you.

Today is the perfect day to ask for prayers like this, to say ‘Jesus, I need Your help’. Our human heart desires natural things as you have said, know that there is nothing wrong with those desires. Sometimes our peers our own age or others around us make it seem so simple (especially if we follow blogs we love on social media which depict the exact dream life we want), so easy, that we wonder, ‘why am I not a mother yet? Why am I down this path? Doesn’t God care for me or even hear me? What am I doing wrong, what is wrong with me?’ There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. God isn’t just tolerating you because you are working hard and searching for things. He loves you, even when your sins nailed Him to the cross. There is nothing that will stop God from loving you, even if you were the worst sinner. God has a plan for you. It may not be tonight, or tomorrow, or next week, maybe not for years, but we have to be like Jesus and say God not my will but Your will be done. In the mean time, recognize in the present moment you already are a spiritual mother when you care for your family, friends, coworkers, people you pray for, the homeless, the abandoned. You are a wife because you are a child of God, the bride is the Church, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, knit by God when you were in your mother’s womb. You can be a helping hand to your church and surrounding churches when you are present at Mass, when you give your time and volunteer, when you make sacrifices to help other church members and clergy to lead them to God. You can do the smallest of smallest jobs, right down to cleaning the altar cloths and fixing the pews after Mass, and all that helping you can offer up for souls in Purgatory. All that studying and working too, offer it up for Purgatory and, God willing, your future spouse modeled after the best of all: St. Joseph. The Divine Mercy Chaplet is the perfect prayer for you to try and remember this sentence: “Jesus, I trust in You”. Pray that sentence as many times as you need it. Even when you don’t understand what will happen tomorrow, Jesus I trust in You. When your heart is full of loneliness, open the door to Jesus who always knocks at the door to your heart, Jesus I trust in you. When you feel unworthy, banish that thought away saying Jesus, I trust in you. You are not selfish to ask for prayer. You are a child of God and our prayers move mountains. Don’t be so afraid that you cast your eyes on the storm and raging waves. Step out of the boat and keep your eyes on Jesus.

[nitazenes]

lmao you mad?

idgaf who sees any of my messy BS at this point. There's no way I could restart or anything because everyone who has ever stalked me has found my socmed

but it's my turn to vent

you have the gall to get petty and vague me and say that you are frustrated when, let's take a look at the facts, shall we?

We were together for over a year and not once did you try to get to know me. Never asked questions. Do you even know how old I am or what gender I identify as? Like the bare minimum bc i dont think you do.

The whole time I felt like you loved your husband more than me and i was just a side piece

I took time to actively invest myself in your interests, researching things you were into, following every blog you made because despite getting nothing in return I still loved you.

You abandoned me in the middle of me being controlled and abused when you were in the exact same predicament previously. Would you have wanted that when you were going through your abuse? Me just walking away to let you deal with it instead of being supportive and understanding.

When I came back to you after that horrible relationship ended you said you still wanted me to be part of your life and you wanted to take time and not rush but you left me believing that you were my supporter.

2 months pass and it's the same shit "good morning" "goodnight" being our only messages through the day. And sometimes i didnt even get that.

I come back to you to tell you that I want to be your partner again and you tell me youre no longer attracted to me. I don't blame you for that, in fact, i kind of suspected you were only into men

Which confuses me because I'm NB/gender fluid/have male alters. i identify as a man sometimes. i still grow my facial hair out sometimes. my legs havent been shaved in years like im not a girl dude so i felt that was a little transphobic

I may look feminine and i may embrace that feminine look currently but im not a girl

None of your alters ever really spoke to me. If we spoke at all that day

Ultimately we dated for over a year and you still didn't know anything about me. In fact In the end there, I was trying to be more of an initiator for you and was even getting pushy about wanting to tell you about my past bc that's how I bond with others. I show them my trust by knowing something that makes me vulnerable but you would give me weak responses to things i was passionate about.

Then I tell you I don't want to be your friend. After all of the above, if i did that to you, would you have wanted me as a friend? No. in fact it kind of felt like you just wanted me to kiss your ass while your real relationship was with your husband.

"We never got over you" BULL.

I wasnt going to post anything about this but yknow what, if youre going to bitch and complain about me, when I tried to give you everything. I was going to send you fabrics that ive saved and kept bc my grandmother gave them to me but I knew you had an interest in sewing so I cut up that fabric to send you pieces. I have a whole box of shit ive gathered over the past year I was going to send to you. I made Kandi bracelets for every alter i met or knew about

and what did you do for me?

take. take. take. But you'd never give.

That's why I dont want to be friends with you because even in your silence, you were hurting me. And at this point, people who hurt me have to go. Im too old for this shit anymore and I have a lot more to worry about than being practically ignored by my "partner" and causing my BPD to split every time I saw you posting about how much you were romantically invested *in a character in a video game* yes, i got jealous over a video game character because you would give that character more thought and attention than your own fucking partner.

So block me on everything, go ahead, everyone does.

I hope you get help. I hope you get everything you've ever wanted, but I don't want to hear a word about it.

This is me closing your chapter in my life. I'm sorry it had to be this way.

-Rey

[therealms-number1angirl]

The Demon King Chapters 7-11

05/26/24

Chapter Seven:

Both Han and Raisa having to deal with "oh, no, my best friend grew up and got hot" is actually hilarious.

And then she does the same with her own son 😖

Something, something, the garden turning into Raisa and Amon's spot to Raisa and Han's spot, something, something

Amon is such a dork, I wish this part of him lasted longer 🤧

I feel so bad for her. All she's ever wanted was a FRIEND 😭 (remembering what happens in that same garden about a year later 🤧)

The Byrnes are so smart, if only people (marianna) listened

Oh, sweetie...

If you follow my blog, you're probably aware that I am NOT a raimon fan. And this is one of the reasons why they didn't work and why they will NEVER work. He'll always view her as his superior in a way, and she'll always be able to pull rank on him, just as he accused her of doing even at Oden's Ford. It's their dynamic, and it's the way of their friendship, but it doesn't make for a healthy romance.

Raisa, go girl, do ur thing 🤭

It's funny that Raisa became much more enjoyable as a character to me the first time around when she was able to make a few of her own choices. She got to taste freedom for the first time, and it helped her grow up.

Hanson, your time is coming 🤭

Chapter Eight:

HOW DARE CINDA WRITE THIS WHEN SHE ALREADY KNEW THE ENDING 😤

Also, he was such a girl dad already, i can't 😭

FIRST JEMSON APPEARANCE!!!

don't think about flamecaster, don't think about (how jemson outlives han bc history repeated itself) flamecaster, don't think about flamecaster-- MAKER HELP ME, CINDA WHHHYYYY???

Do you think that she ended up not going that route so that the parallels between hanalea/alger and raisa/han wouldn't be SUPER obvious?

Everyone still thinking that Han is streetlord 🤦‍♀️ poor cat, my girl never gets her accolades.

AMON!!!

Their friendship means a lot to me, okay?

Chapter Nine:

Another Vega mention, another "fufufufufufufufuf--" note <3

Raisa's family is so complicated, she's being pulled in every which direction, my poor baby girl 🤧

Genuine question, is a mother guilting you about the fact that they will one day die NOT a normal conversation topic?

Does everybody's moms suck in this world? Except for dancer's ofc... like, raisa really was just doing the best she could with the examples that she had.

Just learned that cennestre apparently means 'mother'? ELENA DOES NOT DESERVE THAT TITLE!

Nobody is on my girl's side, WHERE IS HANSON ALISTER WHEN YOU NEED HIM???

Chapter Ten:

Okay, so I will admit that when I read Chapter Ten six years ago, I had been starting to get worried that i had misread the point of the story, and raisa and han weren't going to be romantic pair. and i do remember thinking that if raimon was all i was going to get, it would be okay... dear, maker, am i glad that that did not turn out to be the case <3

I wrote a rain fanfic with this exact premise 😭

Another reason raimon doesn't work romantically is Amon's first priority is to the line, not the specific queen. Yes, he cares for raisa, but he won't let that win out on his sense of duty, even back when he was just a corporal.

RAISA HEARING ABOUT HER FUTURE HUSBAND 🤭 (yes, i really am that desperate for rain crumbs, how did you know?)

Chapter Eleven:

I FORGOT THAT WILLO WAS IN THIS CHAPTER OMG 😭

Was Dancer trying to use wizard healing on Han? Was that the vibe i was getting here?

well... that part wasn't... totally false...

Wait a minute, was this on purpose?

There's something very special about this relationship too, okay?

DON'T WORRY, JEMSON, HE GETS THERE!!!

OFC SHE DOES, SHE RAISED THAT BOY 👏

pausing tonight, bc the next few chapters are my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE, and i can only post a limited amount of photos per post.

[russilton]

I’m curious about how you and Kimy met each other & got together, and who started shipping 4463 first? Just interested in hearing this kinda story and you can totally ignore me if you don’t want to answer. Hope you both have a nice weekend 😁

God no I love answering this question!

(Edit: while answering this question you caused me irreparable damage as I realised for the first time that abu dahbi 21 was the direct cause of me and kimy being on the call where I realised she liked me, and then I asked her out. I will never recover.)

Kimy (aka @thatsmemate ) and I met in 2017, technically twice, first in a shared discord server where we didn’t even realise we’d talked till years later, and the second time via tumblr

We both used to ship a fairly popular marvel ship (and still do, just less actively) that will go unnamed for the sake of plausible deniability, but anyone who wants to try hard enough can probably find my other blog lmao. I started making art for said ship in early 2017, and Kimy, without fail, left the BEST tags on my posts.

Not kidding, that’s genuinely how first connected, she used to leave the sweetest, kindest tags for me, that always made me feel like I was actually posting good work. And because they were always so good, I’d look forward to seeing her name in my notifs. Eventually I followed her back, because despite me being awkward as hell, it seemed like everyone I followed knew her (she will deny this, but it’s what I remember thinking, so it’s true), and thus, I wanted to know her. Eventually we started talking, then DMing, I wrote my first ever fic right into her tumblr DMs and by the end of that year we we’re insufferably inseparable.

We didn’t get together till December 2021 though, because in a fanfiction style twist, she ended been pining for 3 of those 5 years, and thought I knew. Anon, I did not know, because I am thick skulled and cannot read social hints.

Why December 21? Well Kimy decided to finally let me show her the hit Netflix documentary tiger king. Yes, THAT tiger king. Why? I shit you not I think it was genuinely because I was angry and upset about AD 21 happening THE DAY PRIOR and she was comforting me. A fact I had genuinely blocked out until writing this LMAO.

A combination of the trauma of AD combined with the best thing in my life happening means I assume my brain decided to separate the two. Anyway, she was pining, and I wasn’t. Not because I didn’t like her, but because I had no idea that was an option. My brain functioned under the assumption she couldn’t like me. Sky is blue, 1+1=2, she could never be attracted to me. At least it did until I made a STUPID joke about the first husband in tiger king. The one that got gay married for meth.

It went something along the lines of “my meth would be a partner who let me be a stay at home dad because I want to provide home care for my family” I know I’m so smart. She replied with saying she wouldn’t mind something like that because she hated having to do things after she got home and actually enjoyed work. I say “hahah maybe you should marry me for a green card, it might actually work out”.

I know. She was pining sadly, but the dusty cogs in my brain finally started working. And flirting. For the rest of the call I kept making jokes about soulmates and “that’s why you should marry me” as we discussed what we want out of our partners.

Call ends, she pines, I FINALLY go “oh shit, I think that was a Jk unless hint…” then spent a night thinking on it, before asking her out the following day. She said yes ❤️.

As you can tell from that story, I was very invested in F1 long before we got together, but I wasn’t shipping 4463 at that point yet. I was the one to pick it up first though. I even found 4463 works THROUGH a conversation with her! I caught a massive throbbing man crush on George (I had one on Lewis already but the George one was a lot less awe and a lot more nsfw) told her about it, and she kept encouraging me. Then after Spain I sent her a gif of Bono and Lewis looking gay, it lead to a convo about fanfiction, and I, long used to ao3, went looking…

I spent a few weeks getting neck deep in gewis, and I slowly started sending her things, because there’s not a thing on this earth I DONT share with her —She could blackmail me very effectively— and because she is the best person to ever live she got right into it with me, even after watching me have an angry betrayed ranting fit about certain fics that won’t be named BUT KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

By austria we started watching quali together on our date nights as she let me explain f1 to her. That’s why her favourite drivers are my favourite drivers, because I am a dreadful biased influence. Its the best thing on earth to share this with her. Because she is the best thing on my earth.

[salemoleander]

VERY interested in creator commentary for the 3rd life webweave (seriously one of the coolest things ive seen made in this fandom, its gorgeously edited AND very funny AND the quotes themselves are all knock-your-socks off material. That Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Line Holy Shit)

Okay so first off THANK YOU that's super kind! It's nerve-wracking posting graphic design that is reconstituted from other sources, bc I've seen it perceived as a 'lazy' or unskilled format, so this is really really encouraging to hear.

I am not a concise person, which is why this has taken so long! I realized as I was initially responding that I was trying to dive into three separate topics:

The actual process I follow, my tips + tricks on making web weaves

Analysis of my 3rd Life web weave

My philosophy towards web weaves and collage as an art form

Only one of those is the question you actually asked, so #2 is what I'll be talking about in this post! However, I am working on a video overview of the other topics, because I think they're worth exploring - I will obviously post that on this blog once it's done.

To avoid jumpscaring anyone with a wall of text, I've thrown my commentary under a readmore.

The one takeaway I'll mention before we dive in is if anyone has a character/narrative web weave request, please hit me up! I have so many I'm working on, having a next topic suggestion is super helpful to narrow things down.

General Creation Comments

I am At All Times collecting images, so it's only a matter of time until I make a webweave for a group/ concept/ person:

(My phone storage is Certainly being utilized. Also I will never be free of making these.)

It just so happened that my Third Life folder filled up fastest/ felt like it was in a good balance to work with, so that's what I started with!

I try to use a mix of text and images, and both serious and funny stuff. Even at its most serious the Life Series is also funny, and it's important to reflect that!

That said, if you compare the jokes I've picked in this piece vs the void falling web weave, you'll notice the jokes on this one trend sharper. The 'How to Detect Misery' and 'How to Tell if it's Over' memes (both from @thatsbelievable, who is a GREAT source of web weave content) are morbidly funny. Surviving horrific circumstances, preparing to suffer, unimaginable violence, eroticism and death, covered in blood - all of the jokes are violent.

As I go, I weed out posts that don't fit, or (mostly) prune text posts out. Too much text ruins the flow, and I LOVE words so I tend to have too much writing and not enough art.

3rd life had only a few things that didn't make the cut, bc I was fairly judicious as I added to that folder, but these were scrapped:

As I added the posts I knew I wanted and split them between panels, I naturally started seeing a 'flow' from early game biomes/bases and the more tender pairings, into violence + devotion, and then ending in.. something. I wasn't sure what I wanted the end to be yet.

I ran out of posts, and knew I needed Wayyy more images to offset the text, so I went looking through the Smithsonian's excellent collection of CC0-licensed art!

That's where I found the Perfect Image - that last picture of the red angel laid low. I knew immediately that it needed to be most of the final scene, with very little obscuring or distracting from it.

Okay, diving into specific panel analysis!

Panel One

It's the beginning, so everything is still fairly light - lots of brown and green tones.

The summary (imo) is that every faction in 3rd Life is in different stories!

Grian and Scar are playing cowboys, an old Western style narrative where they're beholden to each other, out to get the Bad Guys (even if objectively they're the ones being violent little instigators).

Flower Husbands are a greek fucking tragedy, Jimmy's sudden loss and Scott in mourning, trying to cause as much destruction as possible before the gods knock him down too.

Dogwarts are a middle English story of fealty and homosocial bonds and dying for honor.

And the Crastle is like. Shakespeare or Arthur Miller or Stoppard. They are in a theater, they are playing with all of the narratives. Too aware of the trajectory they're on, and entirely unable to stop it.

The images on the first page are the four primary pairings in 3rd Life - top left, in the background of the 'How to Detect Misery' meme, is the desert. The sudden punchline of that meme felt like a good starting point - a creeper-blast of a joke.

The pair to the right represent Scott and Jimmy. I liked the Impressionist and classic myth-inspired stylization. Also, the toga blended near-seamlessly into the desert hill so it looked almost like a wing, implying a tie to angels as well as foreshadowing Jimmy's death AND Scott's partnership with Grian/Scar.

Up in the top right-hand corner is a little Crastle, and the pair embracing on the right side of the page are Bdubs and Cleo. The red hair fit, but it was the old-fashioned clothing and sense of finality that I really liked.

On the left is Dogwarts - Ren and Martyn. I wanted an image that had a very different style, as they were opposed to desert duo + everyone else. I felt the sketchy ink stood out and elicited ideas of worn vellum paper. It felt like a sketch you'd discover sitting in a chest of a long-worn-down enchanting room.

There's a forest and a mostly-occluded castle in the background art on page one, also meant to represent Dogwarts. That forest bleeds into the next page, where the violence really begins.

Panel Two

We've started with a forest, but it's darker than the last one, and wilder.

Bursts of red stand out violently on the page.

'Fallen Angel' is a classic for emotionally fraught blorboposting! There are many, Many Mountain Goats songs that fit, but the way a-doctor-not-a-fangirl paired this line with this painting was striking to me. In particular, I like how 'getting revenge' was something that drove most of 3rd Life, even though Red Lives (come unhinged) were meant to be the driving force of violence. They weren't supposed to have bonds, they weren't supposed to have allies! But it's the bonds that drove the violence.

The 'I heart eroticism and death' cut-out plopped onto the collage was intended to feel like a kind of cheesy tourist stamp - 'I killed my friends in horrible death games and all I got was this lousy t-shirt' vibes.

The 'First off' comment feels like the illogical thought proces all of the doomed players (so, all of the players) were following - "if I just do well enough at murder, this will all be over."

The 'moments of grace' image is probably my most indulgent addition. I wanted a softer, quiet nod to the good parts, to the fun and the joy in between the violence. In particular, the dawn breaking on waves reminded me of the short span Grian and Scar spent tensely placing TNT under sand in the desert. I imagine silent cooperation and the sussuration of sand on sand, and quiet for just a few minutes.

'It's better to know how to let others unmask you and to endure the rule of the game' means: if you are too good, if you survive long enough, you will end up alone. This is about Bdubs and Cleo - kings of roleplay, of being a little overeager and dying for it and getting a mercifully quick ending. It is also about the cactus ring.

Panel Three

The centerpiece of this page is 'G-d's Idea', the beautiful abstract painting of a blood-soaked angel. It makes me insane every time I see it. Grim reaper in mourning kinda guy

I wanted to do something to tie more directly to the end, but didn't want to pull a disembodied-face-in-90s-grad-photo approach to add Scar. So I found a drawing that looked like the Monopoly Mountain build, and carefully added it onto one wing. I really really like this as an addition, it is probably my favorite combination in this post.

The Anne Carson quote is obvs in Minecraft font - I also split up the lines, so that the left and right side loosely create their own sentences/ideas. "There is a theory that watching other people is good for you" and "Unbearable stories may cleanse you of your darkness." I wish I had been more careful with the contrast on 'yourself all', but oh well, we can just call it being difficult to read an experiential facet of the poem.

"Do you want to go down to the pits of yourself all alone?" is a good fucking line, and manages to mirror both the commentary on us the viewers AND the experience of the creators AND the experience of the characters. We get to experience violence vicariously, the creators get to experience it with friends + in safety, and the characters (or character, I should say, just Grian left by the time you're reading this) are experiencing that low point totally alone.

Aside from the obvious fit, the Rosencrantz + Guildenstern lines stand in as a conversation between the viewers and the characters. The appraising description of kiling and dying beautifully makes way for a mournful interruption that no, fuck that, this isn't a game for us (with some obvious irony there).

Finally, I needed it to end funny; the whole thing is already more serious than it probably should've been. I like this joke because it's short, and it implies the aftermath in a comedic way. Picturing everyone spawning back into Hermitcraft, covered in blood, upset, but mostly with a profoundly awkward sense of 'well I fucked that one up. That got a bit more homoerotic than intended, and now every other shopping trip I have to make awkward eye contact with the person I mcMurdered."

Again, thank you so much for your ask and kind words! I'm looking forward to making a general guide video on web weaves one of these days :D

[inferi-ous]

**CURRENTLY BEING QUEUED**

Free 🇵🇸🇸🇩🇨🇩| BLM

Palestine masterpost by sulfurcosmos

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Palestine resources

Hi! I mostly write fanfic and reblog Marauders related posts here.

I adore Starchaser (Jegulus/Sunseeker)! ❤️💚 I also love bartylus. I read most ships, actually, but those are my faves right now (i contain multitudes).

Regulus is trans to me! 🏳️‍⚧️

Since this is a sideblog, likes and follows are from my personal blog, kissmewithyourfists.

I will not follow you back if you are under 18, or don't have your age in your bio/I can't tell that you're over 18, or your blog is blank.

Links

AO3 TikTok

DISCLAIMER

I haven’t read the Harry Potter books in years at this point. I do watch the movies from time to time. I am aware of all the issues in the canon, including the racism, antisemitism, fatphobia, sexism, and homophobia (and more 😬). I am very critical with the original material when I engage in it. I do not financially support Joanne in any way.

I do think critically about what it means to be in this fandom. I do my best to minimize any further harm. I do speak out against Joanne and the issues in the Harry Potter books.

I know the criticisms about being in this fandom and I still choose to be here, and I’m the one who has to deal with what that means.

My Fics (under cut)

Headache (starchaser, trans regulus, AU - royalty/arranged marriage, Explicit, WIP)

Prince Regulus Black always knew a few things about marriage: he wouldn’t get to choose his partner, he would marry a man (because his parents would never see him as a man), and that it would be loveless. His new husband, James Potter, can try to change Regulus’s mind about that last one, but he won’t. He doesn’t care that James is kind and patient and very attractive. No, love is not in the cards for Regulus. A story about learning to love and learning to be loved.

James, the Sun (starchaser, background wolfstar and marylily, trans regulus, AU, Mature, 23.9k)

James has been struggling with feeling like he’s too much ever since he and Lily divorced. He’s trying to balance fatherhood, his newly found bachelorhood, and the fact that Sirius keeps disappearing for weeks trying to find his long lost brother, Regulus. When Regulus comes back into Sirius’ life things get even more complicated. OR James is the sun and Regulus tries not to burn.

fool for you (starchaser, Band AU, Mature, 6.5k)

Hard rock lead singer Regulus Black is possibly in love with his brother’s best friend, James Potter (okay, he definitely is). He gets inspired to write a sappy love song and it leaves his fans wondering: who’s got Regulus so soft?

say "don't go" (starchaser, AU, Mature, 1.4k)

i would stay forever if you say, “don’t go.” Lately, things have been rocky for James and Regulus, but all James needs to hear are two simple words.

Hard Days (starchaser, trans regulus, AU, Teen, 1.1k)

Regulus wakes up with body dysphoria and seeks out his boyfriend, James.'

The Best Boyfriend (starchaser, trans regulus (mentioned), AU, Teen, 1.5k)

Regulus has the best boyfriend. Even if he makes him worry sometimes.

My Blood (Regulus & Sirius, Canon Compliant, Mature, 3k, Major Character Death)

Sirius came back home for Regulus. Sirius protected Regulus the best he could, until the end.

[ladywithoutababy]

Here we go again

My last post was two and a half years ago. I actually just realized that I never posted anything since being 41 weeks pregnant – I can't remember if that was on purpose (I can imagine myself not wanting to trigger anyone who's reading a fertility blog with details of a healthy baby finally appearing) or if I was so overwhelmed with having a newborn that I forgot, or if I meant to have a follow up post but didn't get around to it. Either way: I will continue to refrain from talking about the child I do have now on this blog, because it's not what I would have wanted to see when I was trying to get pregnant, but if you are curious about how things are going since then my husband and I have a podcast where we talk about it:

(That embed shows the latest episode, but you can click through to see all of them, including several about IVF/childbirth/having a newborn etc.)

Anyway, I am back here now because we have decided to try and have a second baby, which seems insane both because having one baby has been so hard but also because it would have been absolutely inconceivable (see what I did there...) to me a few years ago that I could ever have had the option to have more than one. I remember getting my "unexplained infertility" diagnosis and interpreting that as me being diagnosed with infertility (when clearly I am... not infertile). Might be good to look into calling that something else, medical community? "Unexplained pregnancy delay" perhaps? The point is, there's a difference (or at least there should be) between being diagnosed as infertile vs getting a doctor to agree that you've been trying unsuccessfully long enough that you can go ahead and get some help.

But now, we have 3 frozen (and confirmed genetically normal!) female embryos hanging out, and so we figured we might as well go for it. "In for a penny, in for a pound," my poor exhausted husband said one time when I wouldn't stop listing pros and cons of having a second. We haven't even really "decided" to try... we've just sort of waited long enough that we had to go in one direction or the other and we couldn't think of a good reason not to (and I at least really want a second kid if we can have one), so I made some calls and at some hard to define point those calls turned into a plan and now I am tentatively scheduled for an embryo transfer in January.

The plan will look something like this:

But first, as always, some pre-work. I got my IUD out a couple months ago in preparation (yes, I got an IUD after giving birth, and oh boy lemme tell you did it feel weird doing anything to prevent pregnancies after so many years of trying to make them happen, but they really scare you with stories of people who get pregnant again so soon after having their first kid), had to have a couple normal cycles, and today I had to get a saline sonogram just to make sure the structure of everything is looking good.

I vaguely remembered doing one of these before my previous transfer – I just looked it up and here it is on my blog from 2020 – and recalled it being painful but pretty quick, so I went into the doctor today without much apprehension. Maybe I should have checked the blog beforehand (or maybe it's good that I didn't), because this was MUCH MORE PAINFUL THAN I REMEMBERED! And as with all lady-specific procedures, no one warned me that it would bleed afterwards but of course it did (and still is).

This one was also a bit weird because I did it with my normal OB/GYN (I've moved a few hours outside of NYC, which is going to make things... interesting), and both the doctor and the ultrasound tech kept commenting that they didn't understand why the IVF doctor was requesting this again since I'd clearly already had a successful pregnancy. One more piece of friendly advice for the medical professionals: knock it off. I can't tell you how anxious and paranoid it makes me to hear that you think I'm doing something wrong. Either you think it's the wrong thing to do (in which case you should clearly express that before I come in and help me find the right thing!!!) or you're just sort of idly expressing your curiosity out loud which believe it or not is not super helpful in this moment.

Anyway, it's fine. It's all fine. And that's really the reason I wanted to come back to this blog after 2.5 years away. It's kind of blowing my mind how different this feels compared to the first time. The procedure hurt but I didn't take it personally or like yet another slight against me from the universe. The communication and planning is confusing and annoying, but it's not stressing me out (if something goes wrong and I do this a month later... who cares?). And if the transfer doesn't work – if none of these 3 embryos work – I will of course be disappointed but I know I won't be destroyed.

If there's one piece of advice I could have given the me going through her first cycle, this would have been it: it will all be fine. If you want a kid badly enough, you can find a way to have one. Chill out and don't waste the next 3 years of your life being mad about it (because the following 3 years are gonna make you wish you enjoyed that alone time...!).

But I can't give her that advice, and I know I also can't give you that advice. Because people tried giving me that advice and I didn't want to hear it. Maybe I couldn't hear it.

So, I dunno. Here we go again.

[malleux]

spell [2]. | corpse husband

part one ; part three

-> Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

-> Warnings: Hate Comments, Self Doubt, Anxiety, Cursing

-> A/N: thank you for 1k notes on part one! i’m so glad everyone likes my work. it’s really nice getting this much love after taking a hiatus on my fire emblem writing blog. i hope y’all enjoy it and stay on the lookout for part three!

corpse husband taglist is closed!

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since you joined Sean’s Among Us stream.

While that was your first public appearance, you had joined three others after that and already you were blowing up on almost every social media platform you had. The attention was kind of nice, you had to admit, but sometimes the anxiety of becoming a public figure weighed heavily on your shoulders.

During that time, you turned to your friends who were used to such scrutiny: Sean, Felix, and now Corpse, who you’ve been talking to every day for those two weeks.

It was another one of those nights where, at 1am, you were on Facetime with said man. His screen was dark, as usual. He hadn’t shown his face yet and you respected that. You didn’t need to see him to talk to him, or be his friend, or develop a slight crush on him. All of which you did.

The call was relatively silent on your end. Corpse was on Facetime with you, yes, but he was also on a call in Discord, once again playing Among Us.

You often wondered if playing that game was all your new friends did anymore.

You stayed quiet, letting Corpse play the game and avoiding his fans finding out about your call. You had college work to finish anyways, so the silence was rather helpful.

“We should ask Y/N if she wants to play. I wanna meet her.” Sykkuno’s voice rang out from the Discord call. He was right- you’d never met him. He and Corpse seemed extremely close, though, so you’d love to talk to him. A friend of your crush friend was a friend of yours.

“She’s busy tonight.” Corpse responded.

“Yeah, she’s got an exam coming up- wait, how do you know?” Sean joined in, questioning Corpse.

“Uh, I mean we’re on Facetime right now, I guess.” Your heart sped up- now his fans knew. “She’s studying. We’re just hanging out.”

“Didn’t you guys ‘hang out’ last night as well? It seems like you’re trying to take my best friend away from me.” Sean joked back.

“I mean, I definitely am.”

Your breath caught in your throat. What was that supposed to mean? Sean was obviously kidding, but the tone in Corpse’s voice wasn’t the one he used when he was joking as well.

Felix suddenly butted in. “Ooooh, I think Corpse-y has a little crush.”

“And if I do?”

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

꧁꧂

Three weeks, now, that you’ve been talking to Corpse daily.

One week since Corpse’s crush comment and one week that you’ve endured countless mentions and tags on Instagram and Twitter, constantly talking about #CorpseY/N.

You didn’t really mind the shipping, often losing yourself in daydreams about driving those two hours down from your apartment in Los Angeles down to San Diego and running into his arms. It didn’t help when he mentioned wanting you to come visit one day.

You just worried about how Corpse felt about them. He was still relatively new to blowing up on the internet as well, his fame suddenly skyrocketing in the past few months, so you weren’t sure if he was comfortable with them. You didn’t want to bring it up, either, fearing that the discussion would make things awkward between the two of you.

For now, you were rather content with just scrolling through the #CorpseY/N hashtag, looking at the pictures and nice things people had to say about you both.

“they’re so cute when they talk to each other, you can just tell Corpse meant it when he said he was trying to steal Y/N away.”

“#CorpseY/N is my new favorite thing. Everyone shut up this is all I’ll be talking about from now on.”

“God why can’t they just be together already? #CorpseY/N”

Everyone was so supportive and sweet, it almost made you feel like you already were Corpse’s girlfriend. Although your heart hurt when you were brought back to reality, you couldn’t help but love the comments that everyone left. They were amazing.

Until they weren’t.

There are always two sides of the same coin. Along from the supporters and their loving actions, there were also those who seethed at the idea of you and Corpse.

They scrutinized everything about you to the point that you made your Instagram account- already with 30k followers- private.

Haters talked about you. Your body, your personality, how you weren’t worthy to even talk to Corpse and the rest of the Youtubers, and so much more. You’ve spent many nights with your Facetime mic muted so that Corpse couldn’t hear the small sobs coming from you.

These thoughts were almost always on the back of your mind, but you were sometimes able to push them away.

Like now- as you focused on your exam. Well, tried to focus. There comes to be a time where one can only hear so many negative things about themselves before they can’t ignore it anymore.

But alas, you tried your hardest and finished your exam, before walking out of the room and pulling out your phone. Now, you had a break before your new classes started and you’ve never been more relieved. You pulled up a certain contact and clicked on the message icon, beginning to type.

you:

i’m finished! up next, a break.

corpse:

I hope you did well. How long is your break?

you:

two weeks!

corpse:

Come spend it in San Diego

You stopped in your tracks, taken aback by the offer. You really didn’t think that he’d invite you over, but you weren’t about to complain. Instead, you sent back an ‘I’ll pack tonight :)’ and rushed home to do just that.

Corpse called you as you packed, just like he calls every night. You were used to the routine now, often falling asleep around 3am as he stays on the phone, doing whatever he does with his ruined sleep schedule until you wake up and say good morning.

Tonight, however, you were too jittery to sleep. You stayed up all night with Corpse, talking about anything and everything, like usual.

What wasn’t usual, though, was how distracted he sounded. It made you nervous- was he having second thoughts about inviting you over? Was something wrong?

Your thoughts nearly overwhelmed you, forcing you to say something.

“Are you okay, Corpse?” You tried to hide the small shake in your voice.

“Hm? Uh, yeah, yeah, everything’s good. Why?”

“It doesn’t sound like it. What’s going on? You’re acting off.”

His side of the phone was silent for a moment, before he let out a sigh. “I’m just thinking about what I’ve got to do before you get here tomorrow. Like, cleaning and stuff.”

“Pshh, that doesn’t matter to me.” You waved your hand, even though he couldn’t see it in the darkness of your room.

“It’s just that, my apartment isn’t… the best. It’s small and there’s only one bedroom and it’s kind of shitty. I just don’t want it to be even more shitty.”

“Corpse, I’m coming there to spend time with you, not your apartment. I don’t care what any of that shit looks like. I’m going to be looking at you and hanging out with you. Not your apartment.” You didn’t mean to go on a tangent of reassurance, but you truly meant all of your words. “Hell, I might not even see the apartment because I already know I won’t be able to look away from you.”

“I- God, give me a minute. That took me off guard.” He laughed. “But thank you. I may not even be able to clean because I’ll be distracted too.”

“By what?”

“You, standing in front of me, in person.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “That’s a fucking dream come true.”

┎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┒

taglist: @namjoons-crabssss @lookingforaplacetosleep @teenloves @princess00wifi @pillowjj @nvm-idgaf @creativedogs @wildflowerwhore @chillininahottub-withaghost @whyisquill @holosexualunicorn7000 @ourheavenlyemotions

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[thefanficmonster]

Chaos Magnet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None :)

Genre: FLUFF, HUMOR, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When Y/N get invited onto a stream with the gang by Jack (Sean) she’s not sure what to expect but it’s safe to say that such chaos is not something she could’ve ever imagined.

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it really had me laughing and still had me be awe-struck by the adorableness of the idea. Sorry it’s been such a long time since you put in the request but I still hope you come across the fic and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Alright people, silence in the call for a moment!“ Jack calls out when the lobby’s counter has finally reached up to nine, leaving room for one more person who is yet to join, but apparently he doesn’t care much that he’ll probably have to repeat himself when the tenth person enters the call and lobby.

“Jack, you should know by now, the day there’s silence in this call is when some supernatural force murders all ten of our mics. It just won’t happen, deal with it.“ Charlie, who was having an ‘intense’ discussion with Toast up until Jack’s interruption, says sarcastically, chuckling ever so slightly, enough for it to be contagious and make me crack a smile as well.

“There won’t be silence, I’ll be talking. If only the rest of you would LET ME.“ Jack replies just as sarcastically, getting Charlie to let out an actual fit of laughter. When his chuckling subsides along with the rest of the chatter in the call, Jack finally gets to have the speech he mentioned, “Right, ok so here’s the deal folks: today we have a guest addition to the stream, curtesy of mine because I’m obsessed with her channel. As you might or might not have noticed, there’s one person missing from the lobby but she’s gonna be joining us any minute now. As I said, I’m a huge fan so you better not embarrass me or I swear I’m gonna kill you first when I get to be an impostor.”

I don’t know what the others are thinking - probably something similar as what I’m thinking though: Noted, embarrass Jack to the best of your ability. Trust me, getting him flustered in front of his YouTube idol is well worth the death in Among Us he’s threatening us with.

“Also keep in mind that she’s of a different kind, not of our breed if you will - she’s an ASMR YouTuber. Not those who eat in the mic just because they think it’d be pleasant for people to hear.“ Jack goes on to explain, the way he’s described this girl’s craft is quite intriguing, especially when you consider how confidently Jack expressed his distaste with ASMR in the past. He’s always claimed not to be a fan but here we are, I guess people really do change.

“Thank you for making it seem like I do more than just cut up soaps, Jack. I really appreciate it but don’t bump the bar up that high, people will be disappointed when they actually visit my channel.“ An unfamiliar voice appears in the call out of nowhere. Though, unfamiliar is not the adjective I should focus on when describing this girl’s voice. I’ll list a few more but even they won’t do it justice: pleasant, awing, mesmerizing, unbelievable, out-of-this-world...I really could keep going.

“Oh come on, Y/N, you don’t just cut up soap. You turn them into bath bombs too!“ Jack laughs, earning him a playful scoff from the newcomer. “Oh yeah, almost forgot - Everyone, this is Y/N, our ASMR artist.“

“Please, some ‘artist’ I am. The people in my comment section would disagree with that description.“ She giggles after kindly responding to each and every greeting the gang sends her way, myself included. “The word I’ve seen people use most when describing my channel is ‘cringey’ so....yeah.“ She laughs, a genuine laugh instead of the bitter one I was expecting to follow such words.

“That seems to be the cool kids’ favorite word, don’t dwell too much on it.“ Rae tells her reassuringly, “What’s important is what word would you use to describe your channel?“

Y/N hums, sounding as though she’s fallen in thought but that’s only one brief moment before she answers. Or begins to, at least, “Well, if I were to describe my channel with one word it’d be....BEEFY!”

That one out-of-context word, screamed out by such an angelic voice has me breaking down with overwhelming laughter collapsing all my ability to hold back.

“Out of all the words, you’d choose beefy?“ I somehow manage to ask between fits of laughter that render me breathless.

“She’s a vegetarian, I think, I don’t know why she’d choose that word.“ Jack too is laughing his butt off but has a significantly better grip on it, “Y/N, care to explain your peculiar choice?“

There’s a lot of shuffling and random noise on Y/N’s end before her reply finally comes, accompanied by a weak meow, “Sorry guys, that was a classic cat of Mr. Beef Stronganoff seeking attention by being chaotic.” She says through laughter, her words followed by another meow which was a lot more clear, seemingly closer to the mic, “He took down my mic, and he seems like he wants to do it again....BEEFY NO!”

For some reason, even with that explanation in mind, I can’t keep myself from laughing. Come to think of it, I think the explanation only makes it funnier.

“Ugh, darn it! I saved my mic but he ran across my keyboard and turned my webcam off how do I turn it back on?“ Her voice dies down for a few secs before it reemerges from her end, “Ok nevermind I got it. Now I can answer...what was the question again?“

Recovering from his laughing fit, Jack manages to repeat the question, “What word would you use to describe your channel?”

“Oh that! Right, ok. Um, I’d call it aesthetically pleasing and BEEFY NOT THE ROUTER CABLE YOU DUMMIE!“

She’s insane. Or her cat’s insane. I can’t tell. Maybe both. Either way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve found a soulmate in this literal stranger. It’s safe to say us chaos magnets like her and I, we don’t only attract chaos, but also chaotic individuals. I’m so glad she magnetized me to herself. Or was it the other way around? We may never know - mystery is in the nature of us chaos magnets, you know.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari  @renupf  @booklover76  @sra-verissimo

[shingia]

i’m not sure if you’ve gotten this request before (feel free to ignore if u have loll) but could i request how hq boys would help u when ur hungover.... cause i am big time rn LMAO please and thanks <33

✗ HQ BOYS WHEN YOU’RE HUNGOVER ✗

the way i ran to my drafts to start writing this omg 🏃🏻‍♀️ ngl it almost made me miss being hungover <\33 anyways- hope you’ll feel better v soon and are taking care of your poor hungover self 😽

-> timeskip! kita, kuroo, tsukishima, suna, oikawa

-> warnings : mentions of alcohol (for obvious reasons), mentions of throwing up and mentions of food

— KITA

• this man knows how to handle a hangover better than anyone

• he’s a moderate drinker, but his grandmother’s books contain the cure to everything and he’s more than willing to make you benefit from his knowledge

• he will make you drink these three bottles of water, that bowl of tomato soup and that banana milkshake with a tablespoon of honey. dehydration ? he doesn’t know her

• but kita also knows how important it is to not stay in bed all day, so he’ll insist on having you spend at least thirty minutes outside in the fresh air, most probably in your backyard

• you can refuse, of course. but he’ll take away your cuddle privilege immediately, so~ your choice

• also expect a lot a few disapproving looks,,, because as much as he loves to pamper you, he can’t help but remember the dozens of times he told you you’d had enough to drink last night. obviously you didn’t listen

• i think would disapprovingly care : like- lecturing you under his breath as he sprays essential oils on your bedsheets or tests the temperature of the bath water before letting you in

• remember the cuddle privilege i talked about? yeah, that’s going to be your reward at the end of the day for not being stubborn and docilely following his instructions

• with freshly perfumed bedsheets and his natural body warmth, you’re likely to fall asleep in five second tops. but that doesn’t mean he’s going to leave you, quite the contrary. no, this man will continue to take care of you in your sleep

• and by that i mean belly rubs to make sure your nausea is gone when you wake up, or gentle head massages to make your migraine go away. he might even brush your hair so that you won’t wake up with knots

• he doesn’t even expect you to thank him, because « isn’t that what all husbands are supposed to do ? »

— KUROO

• he’s probably hungover too because he had to finish half of your drinks,,, yet it still wasn’t enough to prevent you from waking up with the biggest headache

• in other words : dimmed lights all day. he might not even open the blinds. and to be honest he likes these kind of vibes

• sure, it feels like your brains are about to explode, and every single part of your body is aching (eyelashes included), but it’s cozy and your minds are too fogged to worry about anything other than getting better- so it’s self care and self care only today

• it’s likely that none of you will feel like eating something, but kuroo’s an athlete : he knows better than to skip a meal, especially when you both feel so weak

• so he’ll sacrifice himself and make the grueling effort of leaving the bed to cook you a little something, nothing extravagant but still enough to reinvigorate the two of you

• and since you don’t have anything better to do, you guys decide to watch the videos you took during the party,,, and slowly come to the realization that you have very few memories of what happened

• « is that you dancing on that table ? » you ask him, pointing at the man who is just a second away from tripping on a napkin

• lifting his shorts, kuroo glances at the bruise on the upper part of his thigh : « ohh- well that explains a lot »

• chances are that, because of his built, kuroo will feel better before you. so the true pampering will come later in the evening

• he’s got vitamins, ibuprofens, blankets, and his arms ready for you. you’re in for the deepest sleep of your life

— TSUKISHIMA

• « i told you so »™️

• you would wake up feeling like absolute crap and he would be eyeing you, standing next to the bed with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised : « how are we feeling ? », even though the answer is pretty obvious

• but he knows that sarcasm won’t get him anywhere so he tries to tone it down (try to)

• you might think he’s not going to do much, but as soon as you step out of the shower he forced you to take (even though you were exhausted), you realize that he did do much

• the clothes you wore last night are already in the washing machine, your new ones (most probably his) are neatly folded on your bed, waiting for you, and he’s cooking an anti-hungover meal that he looked up on the internet

• if he has to study while you’re getting some rest in the bedroom he will put reminders on his phone every 15mn to come and check on you

• and he never leaves the room without lifting the covers up to your shoulders to make sure you won’t get cold

• he also wets a towel and gives it to you to place over your eyes if they’re sore

• but as soon as he’s done studying, he joins you in bed with greatest pleasure. and it’s a good thing that tsukki loves comfortable silences, because neither of you feel like saying anything

• you’re just laying there, letting him keep track of time since you’re too busy enjoying being pampered that much

— SUNA

• blackmail material for YEARS (in addition to the videos and pictures he took of you during the party)

• he turns this into a vlog, you could be half-asleep on the couch and hear him talk to the camera from the kitchen like « so here i am making pasta for this lightweight who threw up all night... i’m still waiting for my boyfriend of the year’s award... »

• but really, he’s just being dramatic. deep down he loves to take care of you when you’re hungover because you get much clingier,,, so he allows himself to be clingier too

• as much as he loves to lay down on top of you, the roles are reversed this time. because being crushed by a 6’3 tall man while you’re hungover is probably not a very good idea

• but before these lazy cuddles, he wants to make sure you’re comfortable : so he’ll remove your makeup (if you wore any) and give you his clothes because he knows you like how oversize they are

• so yes, naps and water are definitely the keywords of the day, but tell him once that you crave one specific food and he’ll immediately go get it for you

• he’s also surprisingly careful with any possible headache, so he’ll keep his earphones on while scrolling on his phone to make sure you can rest in complete silence

• however, at some point he will hand you his phone and have you record a video for your future self. something along the lines of : « hi y/n, this is you from the past. i feel like absolute shit right now so please be more reasonable next time... and don’t let rin get more embarrassing pictures of us »

• and you can be sure that he’ll use this video as a threat next time you’re partying. he would just have to point at his phone from the other side of the room and you would understand what he means

— OIKAWA

• he’s not the person to call if you want to be talked out of partying ever again

• because not only does he spend the entire day praising you highly for the way you looked yesterday, but you also realize that he loves your drunk self (as long as he’s here to watch over you)

• he doesn’t mind you complaining because he’s had a few hangovers of his own,, so feel free to whine about your stomachache/headache all you want

• and if you throw up ? it’s ok, he’s got you. and he’s not leaving your side unless you ask him to

• literally, he spends the entire day babying you. you’re feeling too tired to brush your teeth ? no problem, he’ll have you sit on the edge of the bathtub and do it for you

• same goes for washing your hair or getting dressed : there’s nothing he’ll refuse

• if your head doesn’t hurt too much, he’ll offer to watch a stupid tv show in front of which you can fall asleep without missing anything important

• and he’ll make sure to get the right cuddle position right away because he knows you’ll probably fall asleep very quickly and he doesn’t want to wake you up by fidgeting under you

• also: expect many many scalp massages. and his hands are the softest so they feel absolutely divine

• i think oikawa knows a lot about hydration so he’ll probably make you drink something like sugary water to give you a little boost. and if you don’t trust this drink, he’ll try again with another one until you’re completely hydrated

• and as i said, he’s very supportive,, almost too much : « you finished your glass ! i’m proud of you baby! »

taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @kelsuuki @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @mimaki @maitenight

[yuyuntianyu]

[2HA analysis blog] To love you is torment but leave you I cannot

I wanted to write this (hopefully not-too-long) blog to give 2HA fandom a different perspective of the events in the past timeline. I noticed that there are many little things that could not be carried over to the English language. These little things can give more explanations to our characters’ actions so I hope sharing this would help the novel make more sense. This blog focuses on Taxian-jun and Chu Fei.

Warning: Spoilers ! ! ! Taxian-jun and Chu Fei are their own trigger warnings ! ! !

Despite the novel having 350 chapters, we really know little about what happened between Taxian-jun and Chu Fei besides the abuse and mistreatment and that little is relayed to us by the Most Unreliable Narrator of the Cultivation World - Mo Ran Mo Weiyu. If we only take Mo Ran for his words then a lot of his and Chu Wanning’s decisions told later on would seem irrational and almost silly. So let’s dive deep in the past so we can understand how the great cultivator Beidou Xian-zun could raise such a dumb husky since the events in the past would explain the more irrational decisions made by both main characters.

Given Mo Ran’s narrator is about as reliable as his character in the first 120 chapters, we have to look at other more subtle clues and some of them are due to cultural and linguistic differences.

1. I used to like you a lot

At his coronation day, Taxian-jun stated that he once greatly looked up to Chu Wanning and that he used to love and respect him dearly. Maybe I am reading into this too much but this is my theory: The flower could erase the memory itself but cannot erase the feelings associated with the memory. He had his memories of the good deeds Chu Wanning did for him erased but still remembered that he used to love and respect him. It doesn’t make sense unless it is indeed that the flower could not erase its host’s feelings. So throughout the novel, Mo Ran’s complicated emotions are complicated possibly because he could not remember how he came to have these feelings. Similarly, Hua Binan could mess with the undead Taxian-jun’s memory to a great extent but could not erase his obsession with Chu Wanning.

2. I gave you a new title

Chu Fei. 楚妃. In the Imperial Chinese harem hierarchy, “Fei” means consort and not concubine (嬪 “Pín"). Consorts were highly respected positions in the palace weidling much political power and were only seconds to the Empress Consort. Another major difference is a consort would be married to the emperor while a concubine would not. So if Taxian-jun had truly wanted to only humiliate Chu Wanning and keep him for the carnal pleasures (I am intentionally ignoring his breeding kink completely), he would keep him as a concubine but he gave Chu Wanning the Consort title and hid him from the world. At this point, Taxian-jun had almost lost Chu Wanning once and had spent a lot of effort to bring him back from the verge of death after hearing Chu Wanning’s apology so his anger might have softened a bit. Also, given that Chu Wanning is a man, having a legitimate offspring ( (I am still intentionally ignoring Mo Ran's breeding kink completely) is not an issue so although this is not clearly stated, I believe Taxian-jun wanted to force a relationship and somewhat proper marriage on Chu Wanning. Another hint of this is in an Extra chapter where Taxian-jun tried to get Chu Wanning a birthday gift. He recalled that in his past timeline, he had wanted Chu Wanning to give him something on his birthday as well and that he had wanted Chu Wanning’s heart.

3. Shizun likes to write letters and poems

On Book 3 Chapter 247, Chu Wanning sat down and wrote a few unsent letters to the people he used to know. He also wrote a few lines of poetry. In the first few lines taken from different literature works, he expressed his sense of helplessness and his wish to remain untainted despite the circumstances. The more important two lines are from a poem written by a real poet named Fàn Chéngdà ( 范成大) who lived in the 12th century Southern-Song dynasty. The two lines read:

“May I be like the stars, may you* be as the moon. Night after night, may we shine together side by side.” **

*In the original work, the character used instead of you is “jun” 君 (as in 踏仙君 Taxian-jun). 君 could mean king, emperor, lord, or gentleman ** This is my rough translation - I haven’t found an English version of this poem

These two lines are commonly used in romantic novels as a way to express one’s unchanging love and loyalty to another person despite the circumstances. He compared himself as the stars and wanted to remain by Taxian-jun whom he viewed as the moon. Chu Wanning wrote this to express his willingness to stay but he would never voice this out loud. In the next timeline, he did the same thing by quietly loving and caring for Mo Ran 1.0 despite the mistreatment and was content with never expressing his feelings vocally. Mo Ran was rather uneducated and thus could not fully comprehend these two lines and misunderstood that Chu Wanning was missing Xue Meng.

4. You are all I have left

In chapter 252, after Chu Wanning returned to The Red Lotus Pavilion, he found Taxian-jun already waiting for him. Taxian-jun told Chu Wanning about a dream he had and said:

“I am afraid I don’t resent you… I want to resent you… Otherwise, I…” “In the end, it’s just you and I”.

This is not the first time he expressed that Chu Wanning was all he had left or they only had each other. I believe that at this point, Taxian-jun might have somewhat believed Chu Wanning and recognized that his memories were missing. His words and behaviors seemed a lot more gentle and he mentioned they did have periods of time where their marriage was easier. I believe it was after this point. He told us about the numerous times he attempted to spoil his consort or expressed his affection through gifts, a trip outside the palace, goods, jewels, and even teaching Chu Wanning how to cook or personally taking care of Chu Wanning when he was sick. At one point, Taxian-jun expressed his wish for a more peaceful marriage with Chu Wanning through his breeding kink by saying that if they had children, perhaps they would be more civil towards each other.

Edit: I really wanted to go about this blog without having to refer to their particular taste in bed

5. Are you still mad?

This is a smaller detail but in the original text and the Vietnamese official translation, the way they talked to each other had a bit more of the “husband-wife” dynamic. Especially Chu Wanning ( l┐(︶▽︶)┌ ), the comment section said he sounded like when your wife is mad that you didn’t take out the trash but still says: “I’m not mad” and Taxian-jun, the husband, would come around and ask “Are you still mad at me?” after every fight.

6. I did not think you would really leave me.

On Chapter 99, Mo Ran recalled the fight between him and Chu Wanning after an assassination attempt. In order to convince Mo Ran to not go to Taxue Palace, Chu Wanning said:

“If you destroy Taxue palace, if you kill Xue Meng, I will die before you”.

Now the line “I will die before you” in my language is less of a suicidal ideation but more of a threat. It's used when a person already knows that they are important to the other person and is using their own death as a threat to make the other person do something. This line is thrown around a lot during heated arguments between people close to each other but they almost never mean it. (Even my mom said it numerous times before T_T . I personally think it’s manipulative). Therefore, it is understandable Taxian-jun did not take this line seriously and replied almost mockingly. After all, they had been married for almost a decade at that point, Taxian-jun probably felt somewhat comfortable that Chu Wanning would not do anything reckless. He could not foresee that Chu Wanning meant what he said and actually followed through with his words. I believe that if Taxian-jun had known that Chu Wanning was serious, Taxian-jun would not have gone to Taxue Palace. 7. Don't leave me, ok?

Then Chu Wanning died and Mo Ran spent two years alone. In those two years, we know he basically went insane because of grief, talked to a corpse everyday, and deep fried his Empress Consort. But strangely enough, Mo Ran 1.0 did not immediately mention this after being reborn although it was the main reason he committed suicide. And at that point, it had been well over a decade since Shi Mei faked his death in the past timeline, yet Mo Ran 1.0 seemed to still hold a lot of resentment towards Chu Wanning. Also, he said he could accept Shi Mei’s death but would never accept Chu Wanning’s. So honestly, it did not make sense to me the first time I read the novel and I believed Mo Ran resented Chu Wanning for a different reason.

The answer was first hinted at in chapter 9 when Mo Ran scolded the sleeping Chu Wanning. He called Chu Wanning a donkey hoof (lol) and this is actually an idiom to scold someone who is disloyal and unfaithful in love. The puzzles came together when the undead Taxian-jun showed up and immediately went after Chu Wanning (and not Shi Mei). He believed Chu Wanning used his death to hurt him and was angry at Chu Wanning for leaving him. This is the resentment Mo Ran 1.0 carried over to the next timeline. He hated Chu Wanning for abandoning him. This is solidified in chapter 262 by the undead Taxian-jun pleading to Chu Wanning:

“Don’t betray me” “Don’t leave me the second time. The first time you left, I could choose death as a relief. This time, even death is not an option any more… I won’t be able to bear it…”

So there it is! I hope this blog brings some new information and feel free to discuss! Let me know if you have any questions for me ＼(￣▽￣)／

Disclaimer: Plenty of this is my conclusion drawn from the already ambiguous original text and various translations. Unless Meatbun says it, it’s not canon. I am looking at the novel in three different languages so I might have made some mistakes. Pls forgive. Also, I am not making excuses for Mo Ran 0.5’s actions nor am I justifying the abuse in any way. Chu Wanning never said Mo Ran 0.5 was innocent of these crimes nor will I.

[pepaldi]

Dear Mr Ramis ... Harold,

I had this letter all formed out in my head but now when I sit here it’s almost all blank. I do not want to put all your legacy on just Ghostbusters though that will always be a big part of it and I know you did not mind that. That was my intro to you back in the ‘80s and of course, Ghostbusters II. Two very, very special films. (Thank You Dan.) Anyway, unlike you, I have a terrible memory so I am not sure after that how much you were in my life. When you passed in 2014 I seemed to be going through an Anxiety/Depression state. I am basing this on, silly really, that I always re blog or post at least one post on Social Media of someone I admired when the pass but from the archives there is nothing. Just a mini break.

Then of course I heard about Ghosbusters: Afterlife. I was torn from the start. I was torn even though  people seemed to love it. Two reasons, I have a weird relationship with movies (and TV shows) but also I knew you were gone and still you were part of the movie. As an very emotional person I knew I was gonna be a mess. So, I put it off. Then one day in January of this year my husband said ‘we’re were gonna watch a movie’ and that I would love it. I did not want to but he insisted and now I am so glad he did. It was a beautiful love letter to you, your family and the fans. The ending had me bawling. After that I watched the ending multiple times and cried every time.

Then, what followed was me rediscovering you and re mourning you all at once. I obsessively has since spent hours and hours searching and learning. Seeing things I had not seen in years, seeing new things but most of all discovering things about you I never knew before. Come to appreciate you on a whole new level. Not as an actor, or director, or writer (although you were good at all that) but mostly as the person you were.You had so many qualities and traits I admire deeply. Some I wish I had myself but we are all different. I wish you could teach me how to be more fearless. How to embrace things or tackle the as they come. Although I’ve gone through hardships I’m still scared of the future. I wish you could teach me how not to be. I wish you could teach me how to not overthink so much. Just to be.

It, I will admit, felt silly (not often but once or twice) to grieve so hard for someone I never knew in person but that’s what I did and still do. An online friend of mine sent me your daughter’s book. I have sneak read parts of it here and there which resulted in me crying almost every time. I do not know if I will ever be able to read it fully. Not to mention I tend to over analyze things and it bring up questions that, really, are none of my damn business. You wrote in a letter to your kids that you wouldn’t waste life. That is was a precious gift. To me, it seems you lived life fully. You did so many things. Accomplished so much. Sure, you had more to accomplish and it’s really sad that you never got to do those things. Never got to see certain future moments for your children. Never got to grow old with your wife. You did not deserve the ending you got. For someone who made so much good in the world you were cheated of the last years of your life. It is really sad to think like that but it can not be helped. The fact that you tried to keep an optimistic look on life even through your illness is just another thing I admire you for.

Knowing your personality I do not think you would want me or any of us to cry. So  when things started happening that would make me laugh out in the middle of a cry session, well I like to think it was you. Your way of saying *Don’t cry for me. I’m ok. I’m good now. Laugh with me instead.* If that was you please stick around. If it wasn’t please get your ass of whatever astral plane you are on to (please) visits me at times or (please) hear me when I talk to you. Please. I say that with so much love. I feel you were a larger than life person so in my mind not even death could keep you away or down. You are probably looking over your family and friends but do squeeze me in. I am sure other admirers of yours feel the same way.

You are so loved.

You are so missed.

Your legacy will always live on.

And you dear sweet, sweet soul, wherever you are I hope you are smiling as always.

With love and admiration,

Karin

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Wrong Super Soldier | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: (Soulmate AU) You see color when you meet your soulmate. 

A/N: my for you page on tiktok has been filled with these kinds of POVs and it’s inspired me to write a story of my own. I did write this quickly during one of my study breaks, so if there are any mistakes, i apologize! 

Hope you guys like this! xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

Go follow my fic rec blog! ---> @imaginationgonewild0912

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********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

“Aren’t you even a little bit worried?” You ask Steve as you sit down next to him on the couch. 

“That we can’t see color yet?” He asks, wrapping his arms around your shoulder, “No, I’m not.” 

You sigh, “We’ve been dating over a year.. and now.” You motion to the table in front of you, “We’re getting married. Both of us still can’t see color.” The table was filled with various books about planning a wedding and your wedding binder was next to them. You and Steve met through Nat after she set the two of you up. However, even after a year, you two couldn’t see color which meant you two hadn’t met your soulmates yet. 

“Look, I love you and you love me. I don’t see anything wrong with that. For all we know, our soulmate could be a really good friend the two of us haven’t met yet.” He kisses your temple, “Stop worrying, let’s get this wedding planned, yeah? I’m ready to make you my wife.” 

You nod, but deep down it does bother you that you haven’t seen color yet. You did love Steve, with all your heart, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t wonder who your soulmate was. 

~ 

“This is the only guest list you have?” You frown at the few people on it. 

“Everyone I know is dead.” He says giving your cheek a kiss and sitting down next to you. “I’m going to talk to Bucky later but I didn’t put him on the list because I’m not sure if he’d show.” 

You add his few names to your list, “He’s still in Wakanda, right?” 

“Yeah. Last time I talked to him, he said he was doing well, but I didn’t know if coming here for the wedding would be too much for him. So, I want to talk to him about it first. I wouldn’t want to overwhelm him.” 

“You’re such a good friend,” You rub your hand along his shoulder, “I do hope he comes.” You smile, “I want to meet this famous Bucky Barnes you’re always talking about!” 

He chuckles and nods, “I hope so too. Did Nat help you pick out the colors for the flowers?”

You groan, “Yes she did. I hate not being able to see color. It really sucks when you’re planning a wedding.” 

“Well, we will just make sure to take lots of pictures so we can see the colors later.” 

~ 

After Steve spoke to Bucky, he agreed he would be there for the wedding. It wasn’t every day that your best friend gets married and he wasn’t going to miss out on it. He also wanted to meet the girl Steve couldn’t shut up about. 

So you were now standing nervously beside Nat in you and Steve’s apartment. The wedding is only two days away and Steve agreed a small get together would be great for Bucky to see everyone without being overwhelmed at the wedding so you cooked, actually who am I kidding, Tony catered the food in.  

“I’m kinda nervous.” You tell Nat. 

She laughs, “Really? I had no idea by how much you’d been fidgeting next to me.” 

“I can’t help it. This is Bucky, Steve’s best friend. I’ve never met him. What if he doesn’t like me and tells Steve not to marry me?” 

She rubs your shoulder in comfort, “He’s a good guy and wouldn’t do something like that. He’s going to love you.” 

You check the time on your watch, “Where are they? They should have been here by now..” 

“Y/n. Calm down.” She motions to the island, “Sit down, take you a quick drink to calm the nerves.” 

You do as she says and sip on the drink when you hear the door open, “We’re here!” 

Steve walks through the door, Bucky close behind, “Sorry we had to stop at Jess’s in Brooklyn.” Steve chuckles. 

“I was craving a piece of their double chocolate cake.” Another voice, you assumed was Bucky. 

“Hey Bucky.” Nat greets with him with a hug. 

“where’s my favorite girl?” Steve asks, “There she is!” 

“Right here.” You step off the stool and when you look up, you see him when he releases Nat from the hug. The breath gets caught in your throat when your eyes meet his. 

Blue. His eyes are so blue. 

Brown. His hair.. it’s brown. Dark brown. 

Red. His shirt is a dark red. 

“Oh my god.” You breath out. 

His face mimics the shock on yours; your eyes.. they were y/e/c. And your hair was y/h/c. The walls of the apartment were a light grey. Nat’s hair was red. Steve was blonde. The books on the shelves were maroon, white, black, dark blue. So many colors. 

Steve doesn’t realize anything has happened and comes to you, “Buck, this is her.” He has a large grin on his face as he puts his hand on your lower back and guides you to Bucky. 

“y/n, this is Bucky.” 

Bucky holds his hand out to you, “James Bucky Barnes... Steve was right, you’re gorgeous.” 

"I told you, Buck those pictures didn’t do her justice.” Steve says. 

“Y/n, are you alright?” Nat asks from your side. She’d noticed the look right away. It was the same look she had on her face when she met her soulmate and could see all the colors around her. 

Your eyes drag to hers, “I-I..” 

“How about we go into the kitchen?” Nat announces to everyone, “Tony ordered plenty of food for all of us.” 

Everyone agrees and heads toward the kitchen, leaving you, Steve, Nat & Bucky standing there. 

“You okay?” Steve asks you, gently grabbing your arm.  

“I think she may be starstruck by my handsomeness, punk.” Bucky teases, patting Steve on the shoulder. 

Steve chuckles, “Yeah I’m sure that was it Buck.”

 “Come on, I’m starving.” Bucky could see you were trying to process what just happened. You silently thanked him for leaving with Steve so you could process what just happened. 

Once Bucky and Steve entered the kitchen, Nat grabbed you by the arms, “You met him didn’t you? Your soulmate? I can’t believe it!” 

You nod, still a little in shock, “Your hair; it’s red.” 

She waves you off, “yeah yeah it’s red. No big deal. Are you going to tell Steve that his best friend is your soulmate?” 

“Oh god, Nat. Steve.” Your eyes go wide, “This would devastate him!” 

“Okay it’s okay. Just because he’s your soulmate, doesn’t mean you have to or will fall in love with him. You love Steve still?” 

“Yes of course.” 

“Then there is nothing wrong. Now, lets go in there and get you another drink. You can process all this later. You can see colors now!” She leads you into the kitchen and you immediately went to Steve’s side, not meeting Bucky’s eyes. 

You were getting married to Steve in only two days. You’d met your soulmate, could finally see color but it wasn’t Steve. It was his best friend. Suddenly, the wedding didn’t seem like a good idea anymore. 

~ 

“So, you’re her, huh?” 

Bucky’s voice pulled you from your trance. You’d stepped outside on the balcony for some fresh air, hoping to slip away unnoticed but you were obviously wrong. 

“And you’re him.” You take a shaky deep breath and face him, your eyes going to his. They were just so blue. So beautiful. 

“I would have never expected my soulmate to be my best friend’s girl.” Bucky says, taking the empty spot next to you. 

His smell was invigorating; it wasn’t anything like Steve, who brought you calmness, made you feel safe. Bucky’s was something different, it felt like adventure and full of life. It made you feel excited. 

“Yeah I didn’t expect my soulmate to be my future husband’s best friend.” You watch as his muscles flex as he leans against the railing. His metal arm peaked out from the long sleeve. 

“We don’t have to tell Steve.” He says, “You two can get married, live a long happy life together and he’d never know.” 

“He’d eventually know, Bucky.” You sigh, “I can’t keep that kind of secret from him. It doesn’t start our marriage off on the right foot if I start it off by lying to him.” 

“Just because we’re soulmates doesn’t mean we have to act on it.” He pushes himself off the railing and faces you, “Plenty of people have soulmates who are only meant to be friends. Maybe that’s what this is?” 

“Yeah maybe so.” 

Deep down the two of you know that it isn’t true, but you’d never admit it. There was a shift after your eyes met, a longing for each other that you two didn’t know you had. Yeah you might have loved Steve, but at this moment, you could love Bucky as well. 

You two could feel yourselves drifting toward each other even if you tried to stay away. The universe was determined to bring the two of you together. 

The two of you stared at each other for the longest and it made you wonder if he was going to kiss you there for a moment. He cleared his throat interrupting the short moment, “I’m going to head back inside.” 

“I’ll be in in a second.” 

“Don’t stay out here too long.. it’s cold.” And suddenly he was worrying for you in a way a lover worries for their significant other. 

“I’ll be fine, thanks.” You force yourself to turn away from him and look out at the city skyline, wondering how the hell was this going to work. 

Part two might be in the works if there are enough requests for it and this fic doesn’t flop! 

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