#my last post inspired me to look at some clippings from around that time

[britishchick09]

did i just put this entire newsreel into my senpai biography? the answer is yes! ;D

[kozachenko]

[Click image for better quality]

I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO FUCKING MAKE THE IMAGE SMALLER FOR POSTING ON TUMBLR WITHOUT SACRIFICING THE ACTUAL QUALITY OF THE IMAGE OH MY GOD

Ok so, what I did is go into the clip studio paint file, make a new file, copy and paste the group in the original file, merge everything, get rid of the extra stuff outside of the canvas, and then make the flattened image smaller and crop the canvas. Once you have that, export it and you're done. This helps maintain the actual quality of the image and also helps shrink the file size down to something actually postable (if anyone has a better way of doing this please tell me)

[Edit]: Ok I guess posting something to Tumblr just naturally compresses the image a bit more somehow because I'm looking at it now and zooming in too much makes it a bit blurry so I'm still gonna have to futz around with image quality for future pieces oof

Artist's Note:

I'm so glad I figured out a way to do this because I like working on a big canvas so I can get as much detail in as I possibly can. Only problems are how laggy it gets while drawing lol.

I had an idea for a drawing with Reimu and Zanmu because I really like thinking about their potential dynamic a lot. I also wanted an excuse to draw Zanmu again but in my normal rendering style because last time I drew her she was in my more sketchy style with generally flat colours so I wanted to draw her again. Speaking of, looking at the sketch for this is a jumpscare that I never enjoy seeing, like, man am I glad I didn't use those for my final piece.

Also about her spear. I was originally gonna make it like the ones she had in game, but it kinda threw off the whole piece. It was too big, too blue, and too flat, so I just went "fuck it" and gave her a different one instead. My headcanon justifying this is that the ones she uses in game are for danmaku battles whereas in any other fight she just uses a proper yari, or she still uses the yari and just makes it all glowy to power it up, maybe both lol. I pulled as much inspiration as I could from Sengoku era spears, and even put in some blue into the decorative part of the spear and also added a little skull to pay tribute to the original spear. Also, in my research I saw some art of izanami and izanagi making japan and saw that the yari izanagi has had a little decorative tassley thingy on it so I took some inspo from that and just made it one of Zanmu's tassles (Idk when that art was from or if the spear was still accurate to Sengoku period Japan but hey, probably the same reasons Eirin puts little bow ties on her arrows, it's just for personalization purposes).

I love rendering hair and clothes so much omg, while I like the super curly hair Zanmu, the longer, wavier hair suits her better for this drawing (I imagine it only does that like how Ghibli characters hair moves when they feel angry lol). I love making Zanmu's hair all messy and crazy, as well as giving her grey hairs, this woman has aged like a fine wine. Also, if the hem on the ends of her sleeves, top of her shirt, and her pants look like gold to you, that's because it is! It's fairly light so she's not collapsing under the weight, but it's gold! (I don't care how impractical it is, it's just cool). Not the undershirt though, it's made of a gold fabric. I had a cute idea with Reimu's hair to make it have a red shine to it. I also changed up Reimu's outfit so it isn't just a blob of red. I like it a lot when Reimu's skirt and outfit is segmented into different layers, so I wanted to incorporate that.

I tried to draw their hands differently as well, but IDK how noticeable that is. Also, I am super happy with how the side profiles for the two of them turned out, I used to struggle a lot with how to make the side profile of a character actually look like the character, so I'm really happy that they actually look like themselves.

Also added in the tree and rocks in the background as an homage to Zanmu's character art in Touhou 19, just because I was getting kinda stumped on what to do with the background lol.

In terms of a story idea with Reimu and Zanmu, idk why but the potential plotline of Zanmu wanting to ascend to godhood is so fascinating to me. Like, it is very possible that if she just convinced everyone she was a god (which would be very easy for her to do), she would become one in a heartbeat. Also, if she were to become a god, with her ability to return stuff to nothing, could she hypothetically get similar abilities to (Jojo Part 5 spoiler btw) GER? Like, idk about the death timeloop stuff, but the concept has been haunting me every night as I have been trying to find loopholes in GER's ability for a while now ( for no reason in particular). Back to the main topic, I imagine that she would probably tell Reimu that if she were to become a god she would take over the Hakurei shrine since the god there might as well be dead, and Reimu just says to her, "Over my dead body bitch." Like, I have no idea how to summarize their dynamic but like, it's the type of hero-villain dynamic where the phrase "We're not so different, you and I" would definitely be a phrase said during a fight. I think that if another IN style game were to release, Reimu and Zanmu would be in a team together. They could also have an interesting mentor and pupil kind of dynamic. Can you tell that Zanmu has been charging my mind rent these part few months? Like, instead of living in my head rent free, she kinda just uno reversed the whole situation and now she's the one charging me rent. What happens if I get evicted from my own brain? Actually, scratch that, I don't think I wanna know.

[moodymisty]

Author's Note: Inspired by this post. You can blame all of the unhinged horniness there for this unhinged horniness. Someone there put the idea down as space wolves or Luna wolves and I chose Luna wolves because @bispecsual gave me the brain rot. And since I'm a massive masochist, I write.

Relationships: Like five unnamed Luna Wolves/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Vaguely NSFW, Very hornily charged bullying, Astartes are very curious and grabby, Demeaning speech, Just imagine you're that one girl on the couch in the meme surrounded by massive dudes but those dudes are 8 foot tall genetic abominations, Gangbang implications(?) my warning tags are getting weird as fuck

To the Luna Wolves, serfs are a new idea- a curiosity.

But after their good deeds upon a planet of little known renown and placement in the galaxy, a few of their population offered to serve them.

Before them, most serfs were primarily stationed on Terra, and on Luna Wolves ships instead those roles were given to low ranking tech priests, or penal labor. Even then however the Astartes saw them rarely, until now.

Some of the newly conquered planet offered sons as aspirants, of which they eagerly accepted. The Luna Wolves have been eager to grow their numbers now under Horus’ leadership.

Others, older and ablebodied, offered themselves to serve as serfs.

Many Luna Wolves can't remember the last time they've seen a normal human for more than a few moments, ushering them to safely into a Stormbird or pushing them from a firefight. Or seeing their corpse flung on the far reaches of a battlefield, out of sight and mind.

In their brief periods of reprieve from battle, it's now been a struggle for their captains and lieutenants to keep their men on task, now that serfs scurry around them completing various tasks. Particularly for the youngest marines among them, it's been a constant to stop them from reaching towards the serfs, interrupting their sanctioned duties.

They will get to you once finished with your brothers, is what the current quartermaster on duty or Astartes captain says. Though haste to have their armor cleaned or bolter clips loaded isn't the thing on their mind, but instead an almost dog-like curiosity.

But after their superiors leave, they always end up crowding around you again. These astartes have barely seen baseline humans in decades, let alone a woman.

It's suffocating.

You were nothing on your home planet. Insignificant. You’d hoped joining them would bring you purpose, something to be proud of. And to get off the planet that had you feeling so trapped. And while you got your wish, in a way the thing trapping you had merely changed form.

They have you cornered in the armoring room now; Like Wolves. You went from trapped on that no name planet to trapped by five different astartes. Your palms feel hot and sweaty, but not as hot as your face.

“You’re so small, you’re going to get lost on the ship,” One says.

He grabs for your chin and holds it for a moment, forcing you to look into his grey eyes. they're stoic, but you can see he's enjoying something about this. Though he allows you to shrink away and out of his grip, looking downward at their chest armor. Or anywhere else that isn't their faces.

“Or trampled,” Says another. The one who spoke previous gives him a sour look before passively aggressively replying.

“We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”

One who hasn't spoken yet has his top armor removed, his lower half unpowered. He was training, using it as dead weight. Training concluded blood now drips down from his nose and lips but is mostly dried, partly covered healing bruises. If he looks like this, you can't help but wonder how his opponent looks.

It’s distracting.

You don’t know if it’s some sort of illness or insanity from being locked in this ship for so long; It makes him look more attractive. You hope to whatever deity or god or whatever exists out in the stars that he doesn't notice you’re staring. That he doesn't notice the way your heart is pounding in your chest and what feels like your cunt as well.

He does. As do the others. You can't kid yourself and think that with their hearing and smell that they haven't noticed that you're boiling alive, and that your body is screaming fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me-

“He won. Out of one hundred men.”

Your gut twists and the marine behind you laughs quietly. It's deep, enough so that you swear you can feel it in your chest. You would squeeze your thighs together for some relief, but you don’t think you can without stumbling over.

“She likes the winners. Looks like you’re out.” He gestures to a fellow marine that gives him another sour look. You briefly wonder what he lost at to deserve such a jab.

“I should return to my duties,”

You meekly say, hoping to remove yourself from the embarrassment and scurry away to another quarter of the ship.

One of them blocks your path and traps you from leaving, picking you up by the armpits and holding you before putting you back down between them all. It's like you weigh nothing to them, and that they can simply jostle and swing you around like a toy.

“I’ll tell your quartermaster you were helping us.” He jerks his head in the direction of a marine clad in only the casual clothing they wear out of their ceramite. Now the focus of your attention he rolls his shoulder, and you can see the muscles of his neck and around his collarbone flex.

You swallow a knot in your throat that felt like it was going to choke you. Your hands clench tight, nails sharp against your palms. You're going to have a heart attack, you swear it. Tears well in your eyes but they don't break your waterline just yet, from sheer will alone. If any of them say another word, call you cute, small, soft, that you smell so sweet, you swear they’ll roll down your cheeks like a waterfall.

“He wants you to put on his armor. The others are always so rough, you’re so gentle with those little hands.”

The marine reaches for you, and in your back step you stumble and accidentally bump into the one who hasn't spoken at all; Just watching and sitting. You stumble over his massive armored boot and end up falling into a sit on his thigh, legs parted over it. His massive armored hand comes to grip your waist, to keep you from falling over. It covers a good portion of your stomach in the process.

You’re so tightly wound just the simple pressure alone is enough to have you clamp a hand your mouth to avoid letting out a moan that would kill you right then and there, if you weren’t already dead. Your knees quiver, toes just barely touching the ground. His massive height makes it impossible to fully stand with his thigh between your legs.

You know they can smell the way you’re leaking and staining your underwear, hear the way your heart is racing like it's going to explode. You’re half afraid you might make his ceramite thigh plate slick.

You can feel their eyes on you. They look at you like you’re food thrown to a pack of starving wolves.

One suddenly steps forward, and pushes his battle brother out of his way with a harsh slam of ceramite on ceramite before undoing the latch his belt.

“I go first.”

[bengiyo]

BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes,  The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

[reminiscingtonight]

Good Girls Gone Bad

Leah Williamson x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: I usually don’t post back-to-back, but I was inspired by *that* clip

[WOSO Masterlist]

“Okay, which one of you did it?”

For 8am on a Monday morning, Katie McCabe can be loud. Even slightly hungover after a late night out partying, the girl can still break eardrums. 

Usually you’d be hyping her up, causing a ruckus with your platonic soulmate and making the locker room slightly more chaotic, but as mentioned before, you too are suffering the consequences of a late night out at the club with your best friend. You’re huddled by Lia, hoping the calm Swiss would dissuade Katie from impeding upon your self-imposed exile from the crazier and louder side of the locker room. Your hopes are dashed when Katie’s shoes come into the edge of your vision.

“Unless your next words are going to be apologizing for dragging me out last night with you and then making me do shots when we had practice at the butt crack of dawn the next day, I don’t want to hear it,” you grumble, not lifting your head from where it’s resting on Lia’s shoulder.

The Swiss rubs a soothing hand up and down your back, though not without exchanging an amused look with your girlfriend who’s sitting on your other side.

“Don’t act so innocent. We both know what you did.”

“And what exactly did I do?”

It’s only then, when you finally look Katie in the face, that you know exactly why she’s so mad. Biting your lip, you try hard not to laugh.

Some time between stumbling out of your shared uber last night and then showing up to today’s practice (late of course), Katie’s hair has turned from its rich brown roots into a bright red mane.

“Wow. I think you’ve got the Ronnie McD look down pat. You auditioning to be his successor or something?”

The snorts of laughter in the room are worth the murderous expression that crosses Katie’s face at your tease.

“I was taking a shower this morning and the next thing I know, my hair’s red! I know you had something to do with it!”

Out of all the girls on the team, Katie’s usually the one pulling the pranks. You’re probably second after her, oftentimes tag teaming to get a wider range of teammates. So it’s not like Katie’s argument is fully without merit. Though this time around she’s missing a key detail.

“And at what time would I have had the opportunity to do so?”

You’ve all been out on international duty for a little under two weeks. Yesterday was the first day you’ve seen Katie since leaving for camp, and you don’t even remember the last time you stepped foot into her place.

Honestly you wish you could take credit for such a prank. Only very few people have ever successfully pranked Katie. So whoever swapped her shampoo out with a dye filled bottle deserved all the praises in the world.

“Who else would’ve done something like this? Leah?” Katie throws the blonde’s name out with a roll of her eyes. 

It’s well known how responsible your girlfriend is. To have Leah taking such a big mick out of Katie would basically be the same as if Kim were to suddenly become tech savvy --- virtually unfathomable.

Leah simply hums. “Who me? No, no way, not me. I’m a good girl.”

Though her words are innocent, Leah follows them up with a cheeky grin and a wink sent your way.

Your mouth drops open. Leah did not just say that. Not in front of all of your friends. Not when she has a tendency to say similar things as that in the privacy of your shared bedroom. 

You’re half blushing, wondering what has gotten into your girlfriend, and half appalled all the same as you turn, wanting to see Katie’s reaction to Leah’s words. You’re already bracing yourself for the inevitable teasing or for the brunette to read into Leah’s body language, only to find the Irish woman not even paying Leah any attention. Instead, she’s back to glaring at you.

“Mark your days, (Y/L/N),” Katie huffs. “I’ll get you back for this. Just you see.”

Turning on her heels, Katie stomps to her locker, glaring at anyone who dares to stop and stare.

Rolling your eyes, you turn back to your girlfriend. There’s still this indecipherable gleam in her eyes that’s making you quite suspicious.

Finally ungluing yourself from Lia’s side, you all but throw yourself back into the blonde’s arms.

Chuckling, Leah presses a kiss against your cheek.

“Can you believe Katie? Like when do I have the time to take a piss on her? I barely crawled out of bed this morning, let alone drove to her place and replaced her shampoo with red dye.”

“I told you going out last night was a bad idea.”

Yes, you distinctly remember Leah trying to convince you to spend the night with her, but you hadn’t seen Katie in what felt like ages. You kissed your pouting girlfriend goodbye, promising to be back quick.

“If you hadn’t blown me off to go clubbing with Katie last night, we could’ve been doing so many things instead of you leaving me to stew all by my lonesome. You know you can never trust me to behave when left to my own devices.”

“Oh my god.” Now Leah’s weird behavior all day makes sense. Despite your hungover clinginess, your girlfriend’s been strangely despondent this morning. She hasn’t been actively cold or ignoring you by any means, she’s just been less like her normal touchy self since you’ve both woken up for the day. Her strange behavior was one of the reasons you sought solitude with Lia instead of throwing yourself into your girlfriend’s arms this morning. 

“It was you!” you whisper-shout, eyes wide with a mix of shock and impressivity. 

“What ever could you be accusing me of doing, babe?”

You should’ve known something was up when Leah didn’t try as hard as she usually does to keep you from going out last night. And you should’ve known she would have gotten up to no good in your absence. Your girlfriend rarely gets into mayhem-causing moods, but when she is in one, there’s no telling who’s safe. The last time she was in one, not even Keira, the one who helped set up half of Leah’s pranks with her, was safe. 

Since you denied Leah sex last night, it seems as if you, and by proxy Katie, are on top of her shit-list this time around.

She gives you a pat on the leg before shooting to her feet.

“All this because I didn’t have sex with you last night?” you whine, quick to scramble after to her. You were already kicking yourself for missing out on getting naked with Leah last night. But now she’s actively torturing you for doing so as well. “Katie’s literally going to be on my ass about this for at least the next week.”

“First off, that’s my ass. Tell her to back off. And second, a girl has needs. It’s not my fault you blew me off to go party last night. I’m just finding creative outlets to let off some steam.”

There’s a slight sparkle in her eyes that tells you Leah’s not actually mad. Though the mischief hasn’t left either, so you’re not sure if you’re quite so safe yet. Knowing your girlfriend, you still had a lot of things coming your way. 

“I swear, Leah,” you huff, an embarrassed blush already rising to you cheeks.

“What are you going to do, punish me?”

Your mouth drops open.

Leah’s skipping away with a devilish look and joyous giggle as you try your best to pick your jaw off the floor. 

Your girlfriend is going to kill you before the end of the day. You just know it.

Your thoughts are followed by you quickly ducking, barely avoiding the football aimed at your head. On second thought, maybe Leah’s not going to be the death of you. Katie might get there first.

[walks-the-ages]

ah, can't find the original post to respond to it, and tumblr was refusing to let me actually post with the usual bullshit of "sorry there was an error processing your post" . anyways.

If you see a post going around about Jewish restaurants being targeted for harassment by pro-palestine protestors "solely for being Jewish", stop what you are doing and actually look up the incident in question, because that is not what happened at Goldie's restaurant!

Full article below for accessiblity, and because we all know Tumblr only looks at headlines and doesn't click links to news articles.

Long post!

Bolding is my own for emphasis.

A protest against a top Israel-born chef was called antisemitic. Staff tell a different story

Wilfred ChanFri 8 Dec 2023 16.55 GMTFirst published on Fri 8 Dec 2023 12.00 GMT

The 21-second clip went viral almost as soon as it was posted early on Sunday evening. It showed hundreds of protesters, some with Palestinian flags, united in a rhyming chant: “Goldie, Goldie, you can’t hide, we charge you with genocide!”

They were protesting outside Goldie, a vegan falafel restaurant owned by Michael Solomonov, the Israel-born celebrity chef best known for Zahav, an Israeli-themed restaurant widely considered one of the United States’ finest eateries. It was one brief stop along a march traversing Philadelphia that lasted about three hours.

Many of the protesters hadn’t even returned home from the march when the condemnations began to pour in. The Pennsylvania governor, Josh Shapiro, a Democrat, posted on X: “Tonight in Philly, we saw a blatant act of antisemitism – not a peaceful protest. A restaurant was targeted and mobbed because its owner is Jewish and Israeli. This hate and bigotry is reminiscent of a dark time in history.”

Even the White House piled on: it was “antisemitic and completely unjustifiable to target restaurants that serve Israeli food over disagreements with Israeli policy”, said the deputy press secretary, Andrew Bates. Douglas Emhoff, husband of Vice-President Kamala Harris, wrote on X that he had spoken with Solomonov and “told him @POTUS, @VP, and the entire Biden-Harris Administration will continue to have his back”.

It was the apex of a saga that has resulted in at least three workers fired from Solomonov’s restaurants over, as they see it, their pro-Palestine activism coming into conflict with their bosses’ views and policies, and at least one other worker who has resigned in protest – thrusting the renowned Israeli eateries into the thick of bitter US disagreements over the Israel-Hamas war.

The street protest against Goldie has sparked heated debate. As the war on Gaza rages on, with over 17,000 people killed in Gaza since 7 October – 70% of them women and children, according to Gaza’s health ministry – are Israel-linked businesses in the US implicated? Was Solomonov, a chef who has credited Palestinian influences in his cooking, an appropriate target?

Interviews with protesters and current and former employees at Solomonov’s restaurants paint a more complex version of events than what the video clip may have suggested. They reject the notion that Goldie was singled out because of the owners’ ethnicity, arguing that their objections stem from management using the restaurants to fundraise for Israel after 7 October in spite of worker concerns. Activists also say their protest shines a necessary spotlight on the political commitments of one of the highest-profile restaurateurs in the United States.

Tensions at work

There were political tensions simmering at Solomonov’s restaurants before Sunday’s march. The Guardian spoke to three Goldie workers who say they were fired due to their pro-Palestine advocacy: two who wore Palestinian flag pins in violation of a newly announced dress code that forbade non-Goldie branded adornments, and another who tweeted in support of Sunday’s street protest.

Their discomfort at work began following a fundraiser in October, during which Solomonov and his business partner Steve Cook announced they would donate all of the restaurant group’s profits from one day, over $100,000, to United Hatzalah, an Israeli medical non-profit that has supplied the Israel Defense Forces with protective and medical gear during the current war against Hamas.

And in early November, Solomonov’s Zahav hosted a private fundraiser by a prominent political action committee dedicated to supporting political candidates “who reflect Jewish values”. Attendees at the event, which has not been previously reported, included the Michigan governor, Gretchen Whitmer; and dozens of other pro-Israel officials and lobbyists, according to a current Zahav employee, who spoke on condition of anonymity. The employee said that in recent weeks, Solomonov had also booked and paid for multiple, lavish private dinners at Zahav for IDF members preparing to deploy to fight for Israel.

“The amount of material support that we’ve lended to pro-Israel causes and Israeli military personnel has been really discomforting,” the Zahav worker told the Guardian.

In an email to workers on Wednesday, Solomonov and Cook apologized for not communicating about their political stances with staff more directly. The pair had sought to “avoid discussing politics at work … to make everyone as comfortable as possible in the restaurant,” the owners wrote. “But perhaps we created a void that had the opposite effect. For that, we are sorry.”

The fraught politics of food

The protest and its fallout have produced the biggest controversy ever faced by Solomonov, one of America’s most prominent Israeli cultural figures and someone who for years has cast himself as a culinary bridge between Israel, Palestine, and the United States.

Solomonov’s brother, a soldier in the Israel Defense Forces, was killed in 2003 by Hezbollah snipers; Solomonov wrote in his first cookbook, Zahav, that the tragedy made him briefly consider joining Israel’s army. Instead, he decided to channel his emotion into food, something he found allowed him to “expose people to a side of Israel that had nothing to do with politics”. That led him and Cook, an investment banker-turned-restaurateur, to found Zahav in 2008, followed by other prominent Israeli-themed eateries: Dizengoff, Goldie, K’Far, and Laser Wolf, under a restaurant group called CookNSolo. In 2017, Israel’s ministry of tourism named him a culinary ambassador.

The restaurants have never been completely free from controversy. Debates over the origins and ownership of Middle Eastern food have raged for years; many culinary experts have argued that Palestinian contributions to Mediterranean cuisine have been used by Israeli chefs without sufficient respect or acknowledgement. Yet while Solomonov and Cook have always branded their food as Israeli, their menus and cookbooks cite Palestinian influences on many dishes. For years, Solomonov also spoke of his friendship with the Palestinian writer and cookbook author Reem Kassis – though the two are no longer speaking, according to the New York Times.

But the conflicts aren’t just over cultural appropriation. They’re about “the way Israel as a state has weaponized food against the Palestinian people”, says the Palestinian American chef Reem Assil, who owns Reem’s, a Arab street food joint in San Francisco. “Even before these last 60 days, Israel has restricted what Gazans can access in terms of food and water. They target bakeries, they target farms, they target markets. They uproot our olive trees, they make it illegal for us to forge our own ingredients, like za’atar.” The UN warned last month that Israel’s military operations in Gaza had put residents there at “immediate” risk of starvation.

A controversial fundraiser

Since the 7 October attacks, Solomonov has publicly sought to caveat his support for Israel. “I personally believe in the right of Palestinians to have their own state, and the right for self-determination, and I don’t deny those things,” he said at an event last month in New Jersey, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer. “And I believe the Israeli government oftentimes does things that I would not do at all … and it can be quite damaging.”

But internally, Solomonov and Cook were using their restaurants to steer resources toward Israel.

On 10 October, Solomonov and Cook announced a fundraiser that would donate all the profits across CookNSolo restaurants on 12 October to United Hatzalah. “It is not associated with any military,” the restaurant group assured staff in a Slack message – something that simply wasn’t true, workers soon realized with alarm.

Goldie staff were caught off guard because they considered the restaurant a politically progressive institution. The vegan falafel restaurant proudly displayed an LGBTQ flag and Black Lives Matter flag on its wall. Many of the workers were young and identified as queer. There was a casual dress code: Noah Wood, a 25-year-old who uses they/them pronouns, said they did shifts at Goldie while wearing hats with slogans supporting indigenous rights.

The night before CookNSolo’s fundraiser, Goldie’s store manager at the time, 24-year-old Sophie Hamilton, says she discovered public videos by United Hatzalah about how the non-profit supplied protective gear to IDF soldiers. She rushed off an email to Goldie’s general manager, Emma Richards, saying she felt “deeply betrayed and misled”. “I feel like I’ve been left with no choice but to refuse to come to work tomorrow unless [CookNSolo] commits to also raising donations for a Palestinian humanitarian organization, of course with no connection to any military.”

But Hamilton’s suggestion was ignored, and Richards simply told her someone would cover her shift the next day.

When Hamilton returned to work, she decided to keep working but while wearing a small Palestinian flag pin. “There’s just a point where you can’t leave your humanity at the door,” she said. No customers complained, but two weeks later, management announced a new rule: staff were not to wear stickers, pins, or patches that were not Goldie-branded.

Wood, the other server, started wearing a Palestinian flag pin in open defiance of the new rule. Another worker, June, 24, wore a green shirt, black pants, and a red bandana – a reference to the colors of Palestinian flag.

On 15 November, the restaurant asked Hamilton to send Wood home for violating the dress code. Hamilton refused, and the next day they were both fired, Hamilton for “poor performance for failing to enforce the uniform policy”. Wood was not given any official reason, they say.

In the Wednesday email to staff, the owners wrote: “We recognize that people have different views on the war between Israel and Hamas, and we respect your rights to your own views. Many of our guests have passionate feelings about the current conflict and, knowing that not all of you feel the same way, our approach is to simply avoid discussing politics at work.”

They did not provide details on the firings beyond writing: “It is also important for you to hear directly from us that we have never terminated employees based on their support for Palestine.”

The owners added: “We think it’s important to say that our support of Israel is not unqualified. We have plenty of criticisms, particularly in the way that the government has stymied the prospects for Palestinian statehood in recent years.”

In a statement shared with the Guardian, United Hatzalah’s senior vice-president for international operations, Michael Brown, said that the nonprofit and the IDF “often train together, especially when conducting mass casualty training drills, or search and rescue training drills in order to hone our skills and help the IDF sharpen theirs, as well as to allow for an easier flow of collaborative life saving efforts should the need ever arise in the field, similar to what happened during October 7th.”

The restaurant group declined to respond to a detailed list of questions by the Guardian about the fired workers, but a spokeswoman said in a statement: “CookNSolo exists to create community through food. We are committed to fostering an open, safe, and supportive workplace for all of our employees who have varying backgrounds and political views. Like many hospitality companies, we have standard policies for our employees, which we consistently enforce.” Solomonov declined, through a representative, a direct request for an interview.

Justin Sadowsky, an attorney at the Council on American-Islamic Relations, a civil rights non-profit, says the firings of Goldie workers are the first time he’s heard of restaurant workers allegedly fired for supporting Palestine since 7 October. “We’ve seen it in hospitals, we’ve seen it at large corporations, we’ve seen it in law firms, but it’s sort of spilling into everywhere,” he said. The organization says it’s received a “staggering” 2,171 requests for help and reports of bias in the 57 days since the Israel-Hamas war began, equalling nearly half of the total complaints it handled in all of 2022.

Call for a boycott

Meanwhile, CookNSolo’s fundraiser for United Hatzalah had caught the attention of local activists in a group called the Philadelphia Free Palestine Coalition. The activists weren’t in touch with the restaurant workers, but drew the same conclusion: by funneling restaurant proceeds toward a group associated with the IDF, CookNSolo was complicit in Israel’s war crimes.

In mid-October, the activists called for a boycott. Natalie Abulhawa, a Palestinian American organizer at the Free Palestine Coalition, helped write an Instagram post for the boycott that named three of Solomonov’s restaurants – Goldie, Zahav, and Laser Wolf – as well as a number of other Middle Eastern restaurants in the city. “Restaurants and businesses claiming to sell ‘Israeli’ food, fruits, vegetables, and products are part of an ongoing colonial campaign of stealing, appropriating, and profiting off of Palestinian food and culture as a means of erasing Palestinian existence,” the call read.

The boycott made waves in the food world, and Solomonov addressed it at a closed-door event in November at a New Jersey Jewish Community Center. Speaking to the crowd of several hundred, he called the boycott misguided, adding that it wasn’t affecting his sales, according to the Inquirer. While acknowledging that “part of Israeli food is Palestinian influenced”, he argued that any suggestion that Israeli food was stolen from Palestinians was akin to saying Israelis “don’t have a right to be there”. Solomonov added that his restaurants credited Palestinian influences on their menus and claimed Zahav imported more Palestinian wines than any other Philadelphia eatery.

But privately, Solomonov and Cook were using their restaurants to platform Israel’s war effort. On 1 November, Zahav hosted a fundraiser by a major political action committee called Democratic Jewish Outreach Pennsylvania, whose guests included Whitmer and as many as 80 other pro-Israel officials and lobbyists, according to the unnamed Zahav employee. “It was an explicitly pro-Israel reception and speeches made were about that support,” the employee said.

The employee said that Whitmer, who delivered a keynote, opened with the Jewish expression of solidarity “Am Yisrael Chai”, or “the people of Israel live”, and called for providing material support to Israel, and that Solomonov, who was in the audience, was afterward “emphatically talking and thanking all of the attendees”.

In the following weeks, the employee became even more disturbed as Solomonov hosted and paid for at least two private dinners at Zahav for small groups of Israelis, including soldiers who were preparing to fly home to fight the Gaza war. Solomonov explained with “a level of reverence” that the restaurant would cover the bill because of the diners’ roles in the Israeli military, the employee says.

These events, in addition to the firings of Goldie staff, have made many of Zahav’s staff deeply uncomfortable. “Most of the employees here are not particularly interested in the support of Israel,” the employee said, but the workers fear retaliation if they speak out. CookNSolo declined to comment on the events at Zahav.

A clip goes viral

Pennsylvania’s Jewish and Muslim communities have been on edge since the Israel-Hamas war began. On Monday, a Jewish daycare in Philadelphia reported that vandals had spray-painted “Free Palestine” and other graffiti on its windows. On Tuesday, a pair of students sued the University of Pennsylvania, claiming it had become an “incubation lab for virulent anti-Jewish hatred”. Last week, a South Philadelphia mosque reported that it had been vandalized by anti-Muslim graffiti. And last month, a man was arrested for pointing a gun and yelling racial slurs against a group of pro-Palestine demonstrators at the state’s capitol.

The Goldie protest also followed a growing number of incidents that have entangled Middle Eastern food businesses. Palestinian restaurants such as New York City’s Ayat have reported being flooded with negative reviews since the war began; last month, an ex-Obama aide was charged with a hate crime for harassing a halal food street vendor.

But Goldie’s attempts to head off pro-Palestinian activism were futile.

On 3 December, the Free Palestine Coalition led hundreds of protesters in an evening of marches around Philadelphia to renew calls for a ceasefire. Starting from Rittenhouse Square in Philly’s Center City neighborhood, the march took a wrong turn, which brought it past Goldie, says Abulhawa. The encounter with the falafel restaurant wasn’t planned, she says, “but we ran with it”.

June, who is Jewish, was one of the employees working inside Goldie that night, and said the protest – which lasted just a few minutes – was completely peaceful: “There was nothing violent, no hint of antisemitism.” The store was devoid of guests when the marchers arrived, though one customer came in partway through to pickup an online order and displayed no reaction. June even thought about going outside to join the protest, but thought better of it and instead quietly chanted along to the slogans from inside the store.

Someone placed two small stickers on Goldie’s door and window. One read, “Free Palestine,” and another contained a statistic about the number of children Israel had killed in Gaza (Abulhawa says that whoever placed the stickers were not asked to do so by protest organizers). One protester briefly posed in front of the door with a Palestine flag. Then the protest shuffled on.

A few minutes later, a user named Jordan Van Glish posted a 21-second clip of the protest to X, where it quickly went viral. Comments flooded in: “Once again proving that this is about hating Jews,” one user wrote. Stop Antisemitism, a prominent pro-Israel group, posted that it was a “failure” that no anti-riot police were dispatched and no protesters were arrested.

But Philadelphia’s police force told the Guardian that officers observing the march “did not see, hear, or record any threats to persons inside or outside Goldie”, and the department received “no 911 calls or complaints” during the event.

Some marchers have acknowledged how the clip, taken out of context, could have been misinterpreted. “I’d say in hindsight, maybe [the organizers] should have spent another minute explaining why we were stopping there,” says Joe Piette, a photographer who joined the protest. “It would have been better to explain some of the details of the owner of that restaurant. Our mistake was not explaining it on the spot.”

June felt that frustration when they got home that night and saw the clip gaining traction. “So I felt like I should give the context that was missing from that tweet,” they said. June published a post explaining that the restaurant group had raised money for Israel-linked causes and punished pro-Palestine employees. “If you don’t want to be directly funding genocide, you should probably stay away from Goldie” and other CookNSolo restaurants, they wrote.

On Monday, June got a phone call while on the bus to work: they were fired as well. The manager gave no explanation, but June didn’t need to ask why. “Honestly, I didn’t really feel that bad or surprised,” they said. “I had no pride in this job.”

High-profile officials have continued to argue that the protesters were motivated by antisemitism. Governor Shapiro doubled down on his tweet after visiting Goldie and meeting with Solomonov on Wednesday. “A mob protested a restaurant simply because it’s owned by a Jewish person,” the governor claimed. “That is the kind of antisemitic tropes that we saw in 1930s Germany, and it’s the kind of thing we should not tolerate.” In a statement to the Guardian, his office reiterated: “This was not a peaceful protest”.

Two days after the march, Tess Rauscher, a 25-year-old barista at the CookNSolo-owned Israeli cafe K’Far, resigned, citing the company’s fundraiser and firing of Goldie workers, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer. “It was these actions, not the identity of the owner, that changed the nature of my job,” she said.

This article was amended on 8 December 2023 to delete an incorrect reference to a manager taking down an LGBTQ+ flag. Also references to Governor Josh Shapiro attending an event at Zahav on 1 November were deleted. Governor Shapiro’s office have said he was not at the event.

[end article]

TL;DR:

Goldie's restaurant and 2 other restaurants owned by the same famous Israeli chef were part of a general boycott starting in October.

The famous israeli chef, Michael Solomonov, has been directly funding the Israeli military with fundraisers at his various owned resteraunts (including donating over $100,000 in a single day)

Michael Solomonov has also hosted multiple, lavish "going away parties" free of charge for people deploying to go fight in Gaza (you know, just, going on over to help commit genocide!)

Multiple staff were fired for being pro-palestine, including for wearing pins with the Palestinian flag, or wearing the colors of the palestinian flag to work.

June, A jewish staff member who was working when the protestors arrived outside the restaurant, did not feel threatened in any way, affirmed it was a completely peaceful protest, and actually considered stopping their work to go out and join the march, but ultimately decided to stay for the rest of their shift and quietly chant along with the protestors. They were fired a few days later, and not given any explanation.

[triviareads]

Why the Queen Charlotte Show's Take on Race is Dubious at Best and Harmful at Worst (Also, Was Queen Charlotte Actually Black? An Exploration)

As the promo for the Queen Charlotte show picks up, I'm starting to see a lot of genuinely harmful articles in the news, and they're compounded by Shondaland themselves and the material they've chosen to show the world.

Let's first talk about Shondaland, who decided it was a great idea to double down on the notion that love cured racism, and then proceeded to create a show about Queen Charlotte and King George III, a man who was historically pro-slavery politically, and did nothing about the issue even as abolition sentiment picked up during his reign. Their Valentine's Day event didn't inspire much confidence either; they showed multiple clips that describe this segregated society (their kind don't mix with our kind, or some variation of this, was said a thousand times in each promo clip) where the white people in power (the monarchy) apparently don't engage with the Black nobility until.... suddenly now, when Princess Charlotte is arriving to marry George. Oh also, Corey Mylchreest, the actor who plays George III recommended a book called, The Last King of America: The Misunderstood Reign of George III, written by Baron Roberts of Belgravia, a man who has apparently defended the Jallianwala Bagh massacre and mass internment in Northern Ireland. Lovely. Going back on topic, the clips themselves showed an embarrassingly white-washed portrayal of racism and segregation, and that too, we know it was all magically solved within a generation.

Look, I'm not asking for a tragic POC narrative. But if I'm watching a show where race is a focal point thematically, I want it treated with the respect and consideration it deserves. Not some post-racial-but-not-really fantasy bullshit they're spinning. As my friend @jeanvanjer said, racism isn't simply being "mean" or someone being given the cut-direct. Because here's the thing: Shondaland absolutely had the option of not creating this ridiculous narrative. They could have casted all the same, lovely actors and not explained why this regency fantasy world is diverse! Instead, they decided to bring in race, but then treat it as a fucking joke.

Which brings me to this article:

First of all, for an article that's titled race is "more central" to the Queen Charlotte show, it barely gives us any information as to how. Instead, it gives this quote from Adjoa Andoh:

First of all, "TRUE TO HISTORY"? I'm sorry, is Shondaland and its actors spinning the narrative that Queen Charlotte truly was a mixed-race woman in an effort to legitimize this show's need to create this simplistic racial narrative?

Fine. Lets examine that, shall we? How did Queen Charlotte come to allegedly have a Black ancestor? Let me tell you this: it was not due to love conquering racism. The answer lies in the 1200s. Literally 500 years before Charlotte's birth. Her name was likely Madragana Ben Aloandro, and she was a woman of possibly-Moorish ancestry and a Muslim. She was born in the Algarve when it was still ruled by the Moors, but it was conquered by King Afonso III, who made Madragana his mistress shortly after, had her converted to Christianity, and had her name changed. There are gaps in her story, but if I try to fill them in, I can very well imagine that based on the fact that this man conquered her home by use of military force, and she was around twenty years younger than him, there was... likely a significant lack of consent here along with erasure of identity. This is the woman Charlotte is likely descended from, a woman who was born some 500 years before her, and likely had a negligible contribution to Charlotte's gene pool. But somehow, the show and this article expects us to believe that historical assertions that Charlotte looked like a Black woman, or even counted as biracial, are not racist, but statements of fact.

Indeed, this article relied on disgusting, racist, and obviously biased descriptions from Charlotte's contemporaries including her personal physician Baron Stockmar and Sir Walter Scott as "proof" Charlotte was a mixed-race woman, and then proceeded to tie her to Meghan Markle in terms of the racism they experienced:

These false equivalencies and cherry-picking historical facts have become a hallmark of the Bridgerton show, and now the Queen Charlotte show as well, apparently.

What this show, and Shondaland as a whole, fails to understand is that its take on racial politics is embarrassing and ridiculous for an educated, modern audience. For those of us who are students of history, we cannot accept a narrative like "love cures racism" and simply fly with it, because we know that cheapens not only the romance of this alleged historical romance show, but also the hard-won battles people in history fought in order to freely love who they choose to love.

We cannot accept an even more dangerous potential narrative the show may try to sell us, that segregated societies can be equal by pointing to proof of Black aristocrats in the Queen Charlotte show as an example. Because if there's anything decades of precedent has taught us, a segregated society is inherently unequal.

We cannot accept this Queen Charlotte show than anything more than a thoughtlessly-done portrayal of a segregated society, waiting to magically be fixed by someone— the white man who was historically a racist pro-slaver? A Black woman who wasn't actually Black historically?

Who knows.

[smileyerim]

i don’t care what we are it just has to work

“What you love the most will kill you”, the old proverb your mother used to say rings in your ear over and over again as you sit in front of your phone waiting for Chris to answer the FaceTime call. You’ll do anything to keep him close, even if it means destroying yourself.

inspired by: extremely personal events so please be nice :(Title comes from Understand by Hippo Campus

pairing: idol!chan x hannah’s roommate!reader

genre: angsty long distance situationship. some fluff

length: 2.9k

warnings: very very sad I’m sorry!!

net tags: @kflixnet @straykidsland

. . .

You’ve been looking forward to it all week.

Clearly, as you’re sitting on your bathroom counter, legs crossed underneath you as you skillfully twirl your hair around the curling iron in an attempt to look nice for him. It’s almost embarrassing how much effort you put into your calls with him.

“You talk to him more than I do at this point.” Hannah’s voice startles you, causing your finger to slip and make contact with the hot iron. You hiss a swear word and drop your hair and focus in on the red mark on the pad of your middle finger.

“Fuck, would it kill you to knock first to announce your presence?”

“Sorry you’re too busy fantasizing about my big brother to notice me.” She teases and a blush comes up your cheek. She wasn’t supposed to catch you like this, getting ready for your calls with him with too much effort.

“I wasn’t thinking about Chris.” You defend, unplugging the curling iron with a frown, deciding at the last minute that putting your hair in a claw clip is a better move. At least now that Hannah’s caught you primping when she knows that the only plans you have tonight are for a call with her brother. Her brother that you’re “just friends” with.

“Oh, suuure.” She draws out and turns to walk away from the bathroom, “whatever you say!”

You roll your eyes at her after her back is turned, still feeling bothered by your burnt finger.

She was right, though, you were thinking about him. You do that a lot lately. Running through the old memories of his silly pick up lines, fantasizing about telling him how you feel, imagining what your first time meeting him again will be like.

Yeah, you think of him a lot. Probably too much as your heart continues to lurch every time you think about a future that isn’t promised to you of you and him in love.

Still annoyed, you kick your bathroom door closed and lock it quickly before you begin on your makeup. Sure, you had abandoned your curls but you’ll be damned if you don’t put the slightest effort in after not speaking to him for almost 2 weeks.

He’s busy preparing for a tour that is, fortunately, making a stop in LA. Unfortunately, though, there’s not enough free time in his schedule for you to give your relationship the trial run you desperately want. It’s fine, though, you’re still just friends. Just friends who begin each morning with an “I miss you” text and flirt like tomorrow won’t come, but just friends nonetheless.

Your 5:55 PM alarm shocks you out of your daydream and you’re forced to scramble to apply your mascara, nearly smudging it on the bridge of your nose in your scurry but thankfully you avoid it.

It’s 5:58 and you’re emerging from the bathroom to a knowing look etched on Hannah’s face as she stares at you scurry to and from your room in prep for your FaceTime with her brother. She’s not an idiot, she knows what’s going on here. She saw it all happen in front of her two eyes.

She’s seen her brother in love before, high school puppy love that is, but she’s never seen him like this. During their first world tour in the US, Hannah had invited all of her new roommates to join her in the fancy VIP stadium box Chris had organized (and paid for) for the whole group to watch the show. You hadn’t heard of Stray Kids or knew who she was when you posted the empty room ad on your school’s Facebook page, so you were truly surprised to love the show as much as you did. Before the end of the evening, you and Chris were side by side knocking shoulders as you laughed uncontrollably at the inside jokes you two had just created. All Hannah could do was giggle along to the story she knows she’s about to witness.

Still, despite the chemistry, he didn’t ask you out. You assumed it had something to do with his schedule, or the fact that you’re his baby sisters roommate, or that he simply wasn’t interested.

Hannah can hear the excited screams from you both behind your shut and locked door and it makes her smile a sad smile for you as she decides to turn in for the evening.

“You almost gave me a heart attack!” He exclaims through the phone.

“What, why?“ you giggle, finding his swollen face and bed head ridiculously cute. Once a week you take the evening off of work and studies and FaceTime Chris 10 minutes after he wakes up. He’s known to complain that it’s so unfair that you get the time to look so beautiful while he’s just waking up but secretly you prefer it this way.

“You look so stunning it made my heart stop!” He giggles out and you fake gasp, heart beating just a little faster at the flirty comment.

“Oh, shut up, you scared me.” You say, setting your phone down to prop it up on an old Gatorade bottle on your desk.

“Hello, Y/N.” He says finally with a grin on his face.

You giggle again, “Hey, Chris. Missed you.” His eyes shut and he lets out a big sigh.

“I can’t wait to see you again. I think about it a lot, actually.” He says, head leaned back on his pillow as he stares at his ceiling. He doesn’t want to look at you as he admits that.

“Me too,” You admit sheepishly as he looks back towards his phone screen, “I hope it lives up to all my expectations.”

It won’t, though, you won’t walk away with him being yours and you’re unfortunately sure of that.

“What expectations are those, hmm?” He teases and you suddenly feel very shy. Now is not the time to admit your painfully obvious feelings towards him so you chose to play it safe, the same way you have been since you began your “friendship” a year ago.

“Chris, that night that we met was one of the most fun nights of my life.” You look at him as he stares back with a small smile on his focused face.

“Me too.” He admits and that honestly shocks you. You’re a simple girl who leads a simple life. You don’t have many groundbreaking life experiences to your name, but Chris does. He’s the leader of one of the biggest kpop boy bands of all time, he’s collecting major life experiences like they’re Pokémon cards.

“Really?” You say, surprised and he looks at you like you’re stupid, as if you were supposed to just guess that about him.

“I’m so used to feeling like such a celebrity,” you scoff at him at that and he laughs. It’s a common occurrence for you to tease him for his status although it often makes you feel small, “that night where I got to be just Chris and have fun with a pretty girl I had great chemistry with was amazing.”

You full on blush at this point with no words to say. Chris is somewhat of a flirt, that’s no surprise. He’s always shooting off some cheesy compliment or pickup line he stole from his fans but it’s not often he says the compliments with so much sincerity. Says it like it’s just a simple fact, not something he’s seeking to get a response from you on. When he does speak in this way you’re usually left to scramble to try and change the topic to save your heart. You can handle his flirty comments because you can brush them off the same way you do when your girl friends speak to you that way, but comments like that make it difficult to do so.

You hum, looking down at your thumbs as they twiddle, an anxious habit you’ve formed long ago. “You look great right now, by the way.” You decide to tease his bed head. You secretly love it but you know it makes him shy.

“Shut up!” He bellows a full laugh, flattening down his curls with his hand. You laugh with him at how ineffective it was. You can’t complain, you love it.

“I’m sooo sorry that I’m sooo eager to get to talk to you that I forget to get all pretty.” He teases and you giggle again.

“Yeah, you should be. Hurts my eyes a little bit.” You squint and put your hand up to block the screen.

He laughs again, “fine, then, I’ll just hang up if it’s so torturous for you.” He feigns a threat, but it still makes your face flush at the idea.

“Wait! No!” You lean in and pout to the screen, “please don’t leave you look sooo handsome your hair is sooo perfect.” You match his tone from earlier.

He rolls his eyes at you at that, “well I know that but thank you for clarifying.” He smiles satisfied at your defeated face.

“How’s tour prep going? Any changes?” He knows exactly what you’re asking, but he chooses to ignore it. He, just like you, wishes desperately for more than 2 successive nights. He wants his days in LA to be spent with you too, but the reality is much bleaker than that. He has a total of 4 waking hours to give, half of that he’s determined to give to his sister as well.

“We added another song to the encore. So now the show is a total of three fucking hours long.” He doesn’t swear in front of you often so it takes you off guard, but you understand. It communicates exactly what it needed to.

“I’m sorry, I can’t imagine. That’s so much work in such a short period of time I don’t know how you do it.” You whisper, all you have to offer is empathy.

He smiles at your dejected appearance in fondness, “It’s okay, my favorite pretty girl coming makes it worth it. I’m glad to put on a long show for her to enjoy.” He smiles wider at your expression.

“Oh please, I’m not even paying to go, don’t you care about your fans and the hundreds of thousands of dollars they’re paying to make the three hour show possible?” You reject his compliment.

He was just kidding with you, of course he cares about his fans but he was attempting another flirt. He knows he shouldn’t do it so often, he worries a lot about leading you on. Until his contract in Korea is completed, he can’t have you, simple as that. Three more years until he has the freedom to decide for himself who he wants to love.

He doesn’t like to think about the fact that once those three years are complete, he will probably choose to stay in Seoul to continue the career he’s built. Far, far away from you still then.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” He gives you a smile. Yeah, he really feels guilty for leading you on in such a way.

“Any other changes?” You look at him with a sparkle in your eyes.

“I have one hour per evening two hours after the post concert interviews.” He says, same spiel he’s given you since the tour was announced. He watches as your shoulders drop in sadness.

After a beat and a sigh, you look up at the screen “I’ll take what I can get!”

He smiles sadly at you, the image of his face getting frozen for a moment. Damn your spotty Wi-Fi.

“Here’s an idea for you then. What if I upgrade my hotel room to get 2 beds and you stay over with me?” You perk up at his idea.

“Really?”

He laughs softly and his eyes sparkle in affection for you, “Yes, really. I can’t stay up too late since I’ll have early schedules the following day but we can spend some short time together getting ready for bed.”

You smile big and wide at that but your ears finally catch on to what he said. He proposed to share a hotel room with you that has two beds. You get whiplash every time you speak to him, simply unable to read his signs. Does he like you or not? You feel silly every time you presume that he does, but you feel even dumber thinking that he doesn’t. The mixed signals hurt your head.

“Two beds?” You say in boldness, catching even yourself off guard. You weren’t planning on speaking your mind, but the words slipped from your lips faster than you could stop them.

He sighs sadly at that, “Y/N…”

Deciding to ditch the boldness after it’s escaped you, “Two beds are fine.” Is all you say with a fake smile. There are many times that the topic of your budding relationship comes up in little ways, but you’d rather avoid it. Again choosing to save yourself from the potential pain of opening a wound that doesn’t need to be.

No matter what you end up heartbroken. Either because he doesn’t want you, or because you’re far from him.

“Look, beautiful, I have to go,” You frown, but the butterflies erupt in your belly at his cute nickname.

“I’ll talk to my manager about the room switch.”

You smile sadly at the screen, yet still very excited to get to spend the time with him.

“Oh, and, I’m sorry about this but you know that tour starts next week.” He pauses to gauge the look on your face.

“I won’t be able to talk like this until I see you in person, okay?” He says and that nearly makes you want to cry. You haven’t gone longer than 2 weeks without your FaceTime calls since you met him a year ago. With LA being the last stop on their your, this means four weeks without speaking to him.

“I understand, Chris.” You smile at him again and his heart nearly leaps out of his chest. He’ll never understand what he did to deserve your compassion and understanding towards him. Where your doubt comes in the way of having the same security, he doesn’t share those insecurities. He knows exactly how you feel for him and what you want.

“Thank you for understanding.” He says softly.

“Thank you for trying.” You whisper back before he’s saying his goodbyes and the call ends.

It’s not long after you hear the hang up chime that the flood gates open and the tears fall. You’re supposed to feel elated after speaking with him, not discouraged and drained.

It dawns on you in this moment as you curl on the foot of your bed, freshly applied mascara stained tears cascading down your face, that you love him.

This is no longer a simple crush to write off as if it’s nothing, this is full on love. The greatest love of your life so far and you suspect probably ever.

As you think on the love you have for him, the tears fall harder and your sobs grow louder.

It’s in this moment as well that you realize with a heartbroken smile that you don’t care what happens at the end, as long as he’s in your life you’re content, or, at the very least, you will have to try to be.

You don’t want to live without him, you never want to go longer than 2 weeks without your calls again.

Unbeknownst to you, Hannah’s standing on the other side of your bedroom door listening in with tears in her own eyes listening to your sobs. Her heart is broken for you both.

As she lies her head against your door, she feels overwhelmed with guilt having been the person to initially introduce you both. Yet, at the same time, she doesn’t feel that way entirely. She knows that at the end of this long road is happiness for you both. There’s no way that the universe would set you two up in this way to end in disappointment, she can’t imagine it. So all she has to do is sit, and listen, and feel your heartbreak through the wall.

On the other side of the world six thousand miles away Chris lies in his bed, phone loosely gripped in his hand as he lies back, eyes shut tightly.

The guilt he feels for leading you on and allowing your relationship to progress in this direction is real to him, realer than it ever has been.

He’s seen you sad, disappointed, longing even, but he’s never seen you heartbroken. Today, though, in front of his own two eyes he witnessed the moment he broke your heart when he told you that you’d go so long without speaking again.

That alone nearly broke him. He’s not sure exactly what to do with these feelings but he knows he can’t keep doing this to you without action. Either telling you exactly how he feels or letting you move on and have the college experience he wishes for his little sister too.

At the thought of you moving on, though, Chris’ eyes begin to threaten to release their own tears. He loves you so much. He wants you to have all the happiness and love in the world. He’s known that for months, but the idea of you moving on to a man that isn’t him hurts his head and his heart. If that’s what it takes though, he will try to accept.

Four weeks. There’s four more weeks until you two are reunited.

Fuck, where do you all go from here?

part 2: where we end is somewhere far, something hard to understand

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Just a Little Teasing

Hey, remember this very NSFW sketch I posted last year? When I was posting it again completely uncensored over on my pillowfort, I got inspired to write a flashfic about it. I think I was influenced by the little writing clip I posted along with the vampire AU picture over there. Maybe I'll make posting small writing teasers along with my art a thing...

Anyway, it's just some quick PWP smut between Jack and Alice. I figured I'd share it here like I do with other rough drafts since I suspect there might be one or two people who'd enjoy reading it. Just a hunch.

I'm not sure if I need to put up content warnings beyond mentioning the explicit sexual acts, but just in case, there's also mild possessiveness and a brief reference to body image issues. For the most part it's just Jack shamelessly teasing and pleasuring Alice while she gets flustered.

I hope you enjoy this short romp of lewd fun times with Jack and Alice. Please let me know if you did, thanks! 💖

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

...

Alice yelped as Jack suddenly pulled her into his lap, her back flush against his chest. She froze as she felt his hardness press between her legs, and panic shot through her as she realized just how much weight that she was putting on such a delicate part of his body.  “I-I’m too heavy! I’m-”

“Shhh… It’s okay,” Jack shushed gently into her ear before kissing her there, and the sensation caused Alice to shiver. “It’s okay, sunshine. You’re not too heavy for me. I’m just fine. You could sit in my lap all day if you wanted.”

Despite his reassurance, Alice couldn’t let go of her skepticism so easily. A look back over her shoulder allowed her to see Jack’s reassuring smile, and she squeaked when he stole a kiss from her.

“Oh Alice…,” Jack sighed happily as he slid his arms around her soft middle. “I love being this close to you, holding you without anything between us.” He placed a kiss onto her shoulder next, and he smiled at the way she shivered against him. “You’re so warm, so soft… I could hold you like this forever.”

Alice gasped as Jack moved to kissing her neck next, and she tilted her head to give him room to mark a trail along her flushed skin. His soothing words and gentle kisses slowly managed to calm her worries, but they quickly made her heart race with excitement instead. It made her that much more aware of him and the position they were in, particularly the rock hard erection pressed so intimately between her legs. “Jack…”

“You’re so beautiful, so perfect,” Jack said between kisses, his voice tickling her skin. “Look how perfectly we fit together. It’s like you were made for me.”

At that subtle direction, Alice couldn’t help but look down at the head of his dick pressed delicately against her folds. It also unintentionally caused her to focus on the swell of her belly and how much it got in the way. The disgust towards her fat barely flitted through her mind before suddenly their position shifted slightly as he spread her legs apart and leaned back a little, exposing her pussy even more, much to her mortification. “Jack!? What the heck?”

“Just look at how wet you are,” Jack said beside her ear in a low growl that sent another shiver through Alice as his voice reverberated through her. She could hear the hunger in his voice, and she glanced back to see his eyes roaming across her body shamelessly, drinking in the sight of her in such a compromising position. “You’re already so eager to have me inside you, aren’t you?”

Alice let out a noise of mashed together syllables rather than anything coherent as Jack slid his hand downward along her belly, the other holding her thigh at a wide angle to keep her exposed to him. Her heart pounded as she watched his hand move lower, his large fingers teasingly rubbing at her mound and toying with her pubic hair.

Jack chuckled at the embarrassed sounds Alice made and the heavy blush that spread along her face to her ears and neck. “Would you like that, sunshine?” he cooed before nipping at her ear. “You can tell me.” He ran his tongue along her ear and was rewarded for it with a low moan from his lover. “Do you want me to make you feel good?”

Hesitantly, Alice nodded, and Jack couldn’t help but smile mischievously.

“Can you say it?” Jack inched his fingers a little lower, just barely skirting where she burned hottest. “I’ll do whatever you want me to. You just have to tell me what it is you want, Alice.”

A keening whine escaped Alice despite herself. After all that, Jack decided to start teasing her now? His fingers feathered her skin close to her pussy, too light to do more than make her maddeningly aware of his delicate touch. “T-touch me… I want you to touch me.”

Jack smiled wickedly. “As you wish,” he said before stroking her inner thighs, focusing his fingers everywhere except where she ached for him the most.

Frustration won over embarrassment and Alice let out a noise that was somewhere between a whine and a grunt. “Jack! You know what I meant.”

“Oh?” Jack asked with feigned innocence that wasn’t even remotely convincing. “I’m sorry, sunshine. Could you tell me where you want me to touch you?”

“You know damn where,” Alice grumbled.

“Now, now, sunspot, there’s no need to get riled up,” Jack said with a crooked grin as he slowly ran his finger up and down along her thigh. “All you have to do is let me know exactly what you want, what you need, and I’ll give it to you…”

Alice eyed Jack. The smugness in his smile and the playful glint in his eye didn’t escape her notice. A childish part of her stubbornly wanted to deny his request - especially since she was mortified by the idea of actually saying she wanted him to do - but the burning of her core served as a strong counter-argument.

After a moment’s thought, Alice came up with a compromise, and she grabbed his wrist to direct his hand where she needed him the most. “Here. T-touch me here.”

Though surprised, Jack was certainly not disappointed by her counter. He chuckled in amusement before he began to stroke her clit, drawing out a low moan from her in return. “Good girl,” he cooed into her ear. She huffed at the praise, only for the displeased sound to turn into another moan as he expertly teased her sensitive nub into hardness. “That’s it, Alice. That’s my good girl. Just relax and enjoy yourself.”

Instinctively Alice rocked into his hand, but she could barely move while in this precarious and exposed position. However, that slight movement was enough for her to notice the way Jack’s cock twitched against her in response. She was so aware of the feel of him, how hard and hot he was, how a little bit of precum was dribbling down the length to mingle with the wetness leaking out of her. His body was a mixture of hard muscle and soft curves spooning her from behind, holding her lovingly in place.

When Jack slid the first finger inside of her, Alice couldn’t help but moan his name as she tipped her head back against him. He ran his tongue along her neck down to her shoulder to get a taste of the sweetness of her skin, eliciting another moan from her as he teased her pussy with practiced ease.

“That’s it, sunshine,” Jack practically purred against her ear. “Don’t overthink it. All you have to do is feel. Feel just how much I love you, and how much you love me. Feel just how good it is to have my fingers inside this pretty little hole of yours.” He slid in a second finger for emphasis, sending another jolt of pleasure through Alice that he could feel as she shuddered against him. “Can you feel it, Alice? Can you feel how much I love you?”

Alice nodded shakily. She could feel his love, as crazy as that concept was; she could feel it almost as clearly as she could feel his fingers moving around inside her, spreading and twisting to tease her senses. He knew just how to touch her to drive her crazy, pumping his fingers vigorously in and out in one minute, then the next leaving her keening as he removed them to trace her dewy folds with a feather light touch, before taking a moment to toy with her clit to send an intense jolt of pleasure through her. “Jack! Oh god, Jack!”

Jack smiled in satisfaction at the way Alice squirmed ineffectively, helpless to his ministrations. “That’s it, Alice,” he growled against her ear. “Say my name. Tell me just how much you love this… how much you love me.”

Alice groped at his arm for support, eventually settling on his wrist just above where his fingers were working their magic. There was little else she could do but writhe in his arms and moan as she let him take total control.

Briefly, Jack paused what he was doing to lift his hand, just enough that Alice could easily see the slick that coated his fingers. “Look at how wet you are for me. You’re practically dripping.” He rubbed the slick between his fingers before spreading them for emphasis, letting it dribble off his fingers. “I’m the only one who can make you like this, Alice… you’re so wet and needy for me and only me.”

Alice brought her free hand to her mouth and bit her lower lip as she stifled an embarrassed sound. “Jack…”

In one easy motion, Jack slid his fingers back inside of her, eliciting a moan that she muffled behind her hand. “Hey now, there’s no need to hold back, sunshine,” he teased, all the while pumping his fingers in and out. “Don’t cover your mouth. I want to hear every pretty moan you make for me. I want you to scream my name so that the whole world can hear just how much you need me.”

“Y-you’re such… such a p-perv today,” Alice said, her voice broken up between pants and moans.

Jack couldn’t help but chuckle at the feeble mock protest from Alice. “Oh? Well, something tells me you like it when I act this way, sunspot.” He disrupted the rhythm, stroking at a quick and irregular pace to elicit jolts of pleasure through her body that made her yelp and shudder. “Just look at how well you’re taking my fingers. You keep squeezing them like you never want to let me go.”

Alice struggled to come up with a wry retort despite her embarrassment, but the pleasure made her thoughts hazy. He kept ramping it up only to slow down as it started to crest, leaving her helpless but to ride out the waves of pleasure he stirred up inside her. “Jack you’re just… unnh…” A sudden jolt caused her to nearly buckle, but his grip held her firmly in place. “Fuck yes! There, right there!”

“That’s it,” Jack said in a near growl as he teased her sweet spots without mercy. “Just tell me what you want, what you need… and I’ll give it all to you. Only you.”

“O-only me,” Alice repeated shakily as she turned to look at him.

In her hazy blue eyes Jack saw her desire for him, but beyond that there was also a different sort of need. His heart squeezed in return when he felt that old scar of hers ache, and his expression softened before he kissed her deeply, pouring all of his love and desire for her into it.

“Only you, Alice,” Jack agreed between ragged breaths once they came up for air. “I’m only yours… forever. I love you more than life itself.”

“I love you t-too,” Alice said, “Ja-Jack!” His name turned into an animalistic cry that tumbled from her lips as Jack suddenly redoubled his efforts to pleasure her. He pumped his fingers into her without mercy, forcing out all thoughts but for him and all the love he gave to her in every sense of the word.

“I love you so much, Alice,” Jack said in a low, husky voice beside her ear as he drove Alice closer and closer to the edge. “I love you, only you, forever. I love you, Alice. You’re the only one I want, the only one I need.”

“Ja… J-Jac…ack!” Alice whimpered before finally it turned into a wordless scream of love and pleasure as her world turned to white.

“There we go,” Jack cooed against her skin, kissing her sweetly as she rode out the tsunami of pleasure that washed over her. “That’s it… cum for me, sunshine. God… you’re so beautiful, so perfect, and all for me…”

It was only as Alice was coming down from the high that she could understand the sweet praise he murmured in her ear. She turned back to him, exhausted and out of breath, but her blue eyes burning with emotion. “All… for me…”

“All for you,” Jack repeated gently before he and Alice shared a brief but tender kiss. “I’m yours and only yours… just like you’re only mine, Alice… forever.”

“Forever,” Alice sighed as she snuggled up against him and basked in the gentle afterglow.

Her slight movement brought her attention back to the hard length nestled between her legs that had been patiently waiting for her all this time. It twitched against her still sensitive skin, hot, hard, and so very eager. Alice turned to look at Jack, and saw his eyes smoldering like burning embers, filled with promises that their night of lovingly marking their claim on one another had only just begun.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

theory time!

so reasoning as to why i cant reblog the other one is just cause it doesnt allow videos when i reblog now which sucks but whatever so yeah! its a jrwi theory again, and whatever future info i have was 99% gathered from the wiki (the remaining one percent might not even show up in this theory so ye), and of course theres spoilers for the black rose one shot AND riptide pirates (dont have any exsct eps, all i can say is im at ep 101 now so anything before that is kinda fair game)

for the original theory post

k so we gonna put that one clip (scroll message, about a minute long) and talk about it, def mention all the connections gill would have with the black sea, shit like that

apologies for the buggy clip, just needed to add this and when i recorded i was in school aka just recorded like this for less risk, lets talk about the message though.

"a map that is a guide and a key passed around the hands of destiny, it leads to chaos infinity beneath the seas, the garden giant, the nameless prince, the unborn kings, all await to be inevitably free"

i think in my og theory post i talked on how gill was very connected to the black sea imo so how does all this tie in? lets do some quick lil notes first

ok so the scroll of legend lore has been held onto by gillion, the one closest to destiny's ties, and has not been used until now

chaos infinity while refering to the black sea could also be an undersea thing, what with the leviathins (nobody else remember how the pearl shard gillion has came from one? and how the pearl was never supposed to even see the light of day probs let alone be in some cat mans evil base? just me?)

while i wanna say aster mythborne aeiliana shes not real here so she cant be garden giant

BUT we do have a known leviathin(? could just be a dragon turtle) named duke who has plant shit and is controlled by a gollieth

nameless prince is everso chip coded but we looking all across our board here so yeah

it could apply that the "nameless prince" could refer to someone "unnamed" who holds power like that prince from edison kingdom or smth

it could also reference marshal jon, who's canon first name has been forgotten and canon last name is jon

unborn kings? honestly while i dont think chip's bit of mpreg is apart of this i think the lady inspiring it (aka aslana's mom) has some relations to this whole thing

we all read "kings" btw so theres probs multiple yall

would goobleck count? he is goobleck he must apply someway

non-literal one again? maybe their monsters or smth

wait to be free. huh. gee, i wonder, will the door nightmare with arlin come into play here. thatd be so fun. yeah. ahahaha im losing myself

okay okay maybe its not all clear and i honestly have had this as a draft for too long (as shown below)

BUT ill reblog this later cause ill really just be using text and images and shit

whats the basic idea? this is def where the oath from the sword comes into play (murdering destiny), with the whole "the black sea twists you" thing we may get hints of killion or even dark gillion again, the thign about it being a "key" might imply like a 'this means that' type deal rather then being actually a key, the chaos isnt really referring to the black sea but the state of the undersea in general (lost champion becomign criminal, ally shit gone, oversea war, etc), unnamed prince is either someone we havent met yet or someone who we dont expect to have a return (ie: were deemed before as not really lore relevant), and the unborn kings are monsters, oh and the garden giant isnt arlin but something related to the duke! THIS HAS TO CONNECT TO THE LEVIATHINS FR

some details/info about gill/things related to gill so i write this better:

"You promise to slay all evil before thee, crack corruption that takes hold of this world, strike swiftly enough to split the seas, and even if the thread of fate poses an obstacle against us, we shall sever it"

A hero born of moonlight, storm and sea. / They shall rise or fall to bring unity. / They will be tested or bested by evil’s hand. / By their choice one will remain: sea or land.

[variousqueerthings]

Coming back to this laaaate, but @brilliantfantasticgeronimo hope it's okay I pull this onto a post, because it's easier for me to focus on than in replies!

this idea that the Doctor lands someplace and ruins everyone's day by being so Badass and Awestriking isn't really a Thing in Nu!Who "is also contrasted with the theme of the doctor inspiring *others* to do things (v Explicit theme in s1 but it's present in all those other CoDs you mention)... re:2, i think the one exception would be 7 but i think with 7 the chess-god-manipulator thing works bc we see the consequences of it thru ace. we also see it w/ amy and river but (cont) but i feel we never quite grapple w/ it emotionally (they adore the doctor anyway in the end) (except for a handful legit, hard-hitting eps like the girl who waited or town called mercy). .. and altho in both classic who and rtd who the companions function as a very important role *in the text*, u can still find fandom completely ignoring that and treating doc's 1-10 as power fantasies as well. so it's smth always there but that moffat rlly made literal also i've really liked your posts on asexuality on dw and idk if you've written this but just in case, i think it's also relevant to the very specific way some het guys are so protective of the doc's asexuality/aromancy(+the show's): "asexuality" as it functions in dw is celebrated by those guys ( i suspect) bc it gives the fantasy power over the "womanly wiles" - it's a proof of how the doc is so "enlightened" and "above" the temptress or seduction trope. (cont) (csdkjf sorry for going ott on replies rip) and it's also why i think in moffat's who the doc's sexuality is kind of tied to the idea of it like... """humbling"" or ""humanizing"" the character (as problematic as those ideas are,,, i think there's a basis to deduct that they come from before in canon)

OKAY SOOOO HI!

I just watched The God Complex right after The Girl Woman Who Waited so I'm riding that high of Consequences! Emotional Follow-through! Mmmm good plots!

I have not actually seen 7 yet outside of cute clips with Ace and ofc when he died due to the American healthcare system + gang warfare if I'm remembering correctly? and became our beautiful bouncing boy Eight, so iiiinteresting that this is a Thing, I didn't know that 👀👀👀👀👀

again, God Complex + Girl Who Waited feel like the most this era has explored Eleven's kinda... vibes around in terms of being some big Machinator who ruins peoples lives by dragging them into his shit, because he cannot Not: "I stole your childhood and now I’ve led you by your hand to your death. But the worst thing is I knew. I knew this would happen, this is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you. You’re glorious, Pond, the girl who waited for me. I’m not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it’s time we saw each other as we really are." Mmmm good stuff

we'll see how the next episodes do/season 7, but I've heard good things about Town Called Mercy which is an episode that I was not taking in at allll last time, because I was kind of... annoyed... by then.... and not really taking in good stuff (unlike this time)

ASEXUALITY ON DW IS LIKE! LOOK I'M WRITING OUT A SCRIPT FOR A YOUTUBE VIDEO BECAUSE IT'S SO FASCINATING RIGHT??? BOTH IN TERMS OF HOW THE CHARACTER EMBODIES AN AROACE IDENTITY AS ALIEN AND AS OTHERED WITHIN THEIR OWN SOCIETY AND AS A PERSON WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE THESE THINGS --- AND IN HOW FANDOM THINKS ABOUT THE WORD "ASEXUALITY"

(will I ever actually put together a youtube video, who knows, but I could, I edit professionally for parts of my job, and I have the Receipts!) (but the energy of it all youknow)

I am so pleased you spelled out the "womanly wiles" trope, because yes, I hadn't quite seen that, but had been circling around like... the Enlightened Asexual (or the Celibate Monk as I believe M*ffat once called it with reference to Sherlock) (and then someone like Irene Adler is the epitome of that Temptress in his version of the story...)

and what you're saying about "humbling" and "humanising" is so fascinating, because ofc to a bunch of us aces and aros and aroaces the part where the Doctor struggles to form normative relationships is one of the the most humanising factors, and ofc M*ffat especially likes the "Godlike" Doctor quite a bit but it comes back to these ideas of allosexuality and alloromanticism

but then also rejects a lot of those ideas, from memory, for being too simplistic after all, because people struggle to write the Doctor as simply alloromantic and allosexual (I've heard because the Doctor is alien, because the Doctor is more compelling when lonely, because the narrative couldn't sustain it, etcetcetc, but in the end it all comes back to "the Doctor as Character cannot get into these relationships for... reasons...." and that becomes compelling character)

(also Gomez!Master is like "we're so beyond this, we're the best thing ever, we're nemeses, we're besties, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my silly rabbit," etcetcetc... paraphrased. but that's in M*ffat era)

(the more the show flirts with allosexuality and alloromanticism the more nuanced the Doctor becomes to me as an aroace character! because no longer is it an Enlightened Mightier Than Thou Cannot Be Touched Celibacy type Concept, it's someone who's being affected by deep relationships and very often unable to equate them using simple terms!!!! arghhh it's sooooo!!!! SOOOOOO!!!!!!!)

[inkdemonapologist]

HI THOUGHTS ON THE NEW TRAILER (if you've seen it - or if you're going in blind, ARE YOU EXITED)?

GOSH i have… CONFLICTED FEELINGS!

First, briefly, elephant in the room: I don’t really support JDS the real life company. No judgement to those that are excited to get the game, you know, no ethical consumption under capitalism and all that and we all gotta just make our own choices about where we draw our own lines. But just for me, I… personally don’t feel good about the idea of, deciding all their weird behaviour and mistreatment and unprofessionalism is fine in the end as long as the trailer looks cool. I’m intrigued by where BATDR will go, and it’s apparent the folks that worked on it put a lot of love into it. It’s possible I’ll change my mind; maybe as time passes it’ll become clear that they’ve cleaned up their act (though that one staff member’s passive-aggressive reactions to the last controversy video are uh, not promising). Or maybe someone will finally speak on this, say that the backlash to all their earlier bullshittery was a wake-up call, and they took steps to get their shit together so it would never happen again, but they didn’t want to address it publicly until they had a game in hand to regain the community’s good will. That would make sense. I don’t really expect this to happen, though, so I am not planning to buy/play/stream the game for now.

But, you know, I never played the original BatIM, either, and that didn’t stop me from being totally obsessed. So setting my misgivings about the actual company aside: THE TRAILER

I LOVE…. SON BOY BENDY…. IM SO HAPPY HES CUTE… I can’t believe Bendy is actually going to be in a Bendy game. This is hands down the thing I am the most giddy about. ALSO I KNEW HE WAS GONNA BE IN THE VERY END OF THE TRAILER I KNEW IT

It’s really encouraging to see them teasing new characters and new story and new circumstances, rather than leaning on Established Old Favs for hype… feels like there’s really a new story to tell here, with big changes in the status quo of the studio, rather than just trying to make More Of BatIM?????, which is great to see. It looks potentially really cool for fans of the original game.

“Beware the ink demon” “What’s an ink demon?” is actually great

At the same time… I have this feeling that I'm not the target audience. Like, it looks potentially way better than I expected, but those good choices ultimately lead further away from the stuff that interests me most (the pre-ink studio). The inky studio is interesting to me as a consequence of JDS, as a vehicle through which to discover what went wrong in the real world… and from what we’ve seen in the trailer, we’ve kinda moved beyond that in BatDR. I think that’s a smart creative decision that bodes well for the game, while also being not quite what I’m looking for. It’s a strange feeling! I'm not EXCITED like many of my fandom friends, but I am intrigued and interested.

(while proofreading this answer this morning in order to post it, the JDS Press Archive updated on the website with the first newspaper clipping and IM IMMEDIATELY FEELING WAY MORE DELIGHTED.... the trailer is fine BUT APPARENTLY WHAT I REALLY WANT IS MORE NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS LMAO)

I usually find comparisons of BatIM to Bioshock sort of reductive (like….other horror games have audiologs….BatIM doesn’t have plasmids or anything like the Big Daddies/Little Sisters or a Would You Kindly Twist or Critiques of Objectivism or ANY OF THE BIG ICONIC THINGS so like, the inspiration is clear but I really don't think it's Just Trying To Be Bioshock) but BOY HOWDY DOES BATDR SEEM TO BE TURNING THE BIOSHOCK VIBES UP TO 11 LMAO. thats not a complaint it just SURE IS THAT

One of the things I find a shame in batim proper is how quickly it stops being an animation studio with a weird cult around its main character. By chapter 3 it’s all SO mechanical like some kinda nonsensical factory… and this beautiful sprawling world in BatDR looks really cool, with a design that's filled with love and care!! but is also less and less an animation studio where something went wrong. Again, conflicted feelings!!

OBVIOUSLY if Sammy appears in the game for more than a cameo I AM REALLY CURIOUS what all of this has done to him. Is he dead? Is he still in Chapter 5 mode and incoherent? Is he able to find a new purpose in a world that’s supposedly free of the Demon? Or is he a “demon follower” who’s gone into hiding since his god was (allegedly) murdered? BECAUSE THAT LAST ONE COULD MAKE HIM QUITE AN IMPORTANT ANTAGONIST ACTUALLY,

(this is getting into wild speculation territory but i would ALSO be down for Sammy having immediately attached himself to this wilson fellow. Just keep up the trend of putting your total faith in the least trustworthy people Mr Lawrence!!!)

Like every other girl-liker on the planet i am also delighted about malice with gun

The lost one is cool-looking

I immediately want to know more about the implied DOCUMENTARY ABOUT JOEY DREWS LIFE???????

[hexfloog]

Hiya! I was thinking about the remastered animation Cel style evil Conan post you put up recently, and I just wanted to say how amazing and impressive it is! I love love love the look of old animation and you really nailed it. I’ve been trying for ages to mimic that look myself and haven’t been able to crack it, so if you ever wanted to talk about your process on this piece, I’d be all ears! Wonderful work, again!

Waaah hi liv!! Thank you, I'm so glad you like it, and that it comes across so convincingly!! One of my favorite things is to make digital art that can have a second life as a different medium, and I wish I had an easy answer for you as to how I go about doing that, but the truth is that it's mostly the result of a lot of trial and error. And a metric ton of references.

Here's a quick process video of my last piece to try to show off what all my layers are like, but I know it's mostly useless without an explanation!! I can't explain it all because I was kinda winging this one for funsies but I can give you general tips for this particular look.

Clip and words below the break!

As a disclaimer I didn't really go into this one intending for it to come out looking the way it did. So it's more of a hybrid look between my usual "clean" digital rendering and a fake screenshot.

[1] Reference, role models, and inspiration - I'm not kidding when I say I used to tote around an entire, dedicated folder filled with printed reference. These days that usually takes the form of about a million browser tabs (￣▽￣) I stare at early Detco and the first six movies a LOT. And Cowboy Bebop. And Akira. And and [insert your choice of 80s-90s anime film]. Depending on the exact look you're trying to replicate, you can always look to a more era-appropriate movie.

I love pulling inspo from films in particular (both animated and live action) because cinema is a whole other art that employs all kinds of techniques for our usual considerations (like lighting and framing), and looking to them can inspire some pretty poignant imagery, especially when you're trying to create something that's meant to mimic a single-frame capture of exactly that. I don't keep up with movies or anything, but I do have my favorites, and it didn't really occur to me to look to them until some of my favorite artists revealed that they do the same with theirs.

For this particular piece, I also had to establish some consistency with the other piece that bookends the scene, so I actually referenced my own art, too.

[2] BIG canvas! I usually work at two or three times the size I expect to export. Following standard aspect ratios for animated productions can help sell the look. Letterboxes have their own ratio, too, if you choose a widescreen canvas; and subtitle fonts are usually standardized to certain font families and colors since their primary purpose is to help make the media accessible. All this is usually a quick google search away, OR… if you're like me, and you still watch physical media… you can just yoink most of this from a real DVD.

[3] Thin lines!! I still can't quite nail the right line weight for these-- I definitely went too thick here-- but they tend to be very fine. And imperfections are good! Nobody has a perfectly steady hand, especially with traditional cels.

[4] Less is usually more when trying to sell a screenshot look… it's easy to over-ink and over-render and-- in my opinion-- restraint is necessary to sell it. This is the hardest thing to explain… it's design vs. rote emulation, I think. But that said, digital aids (next point) do a lot of the heavy lifting in these - as far as the art is concerned, a little will go a long way! These were some of my easiest lines and shading. So on that note…

[5] …Blending modes, masks, and filters are all your friends o___o I get a lot of mileage out of the default tools already available to me in the art software. There's plenty out there that's available for free, too! I recommend you find a fake anime screenshot tutorial, follow it once, and just go nuts when you get to the part where you can play with these settings. The make-or-break for a convincing screenshot-- in my opinion-- is texture and bloom, and all these digital tools will help you achieve that.

I hope this helps!! Hopefully the video can help you see a bit more of the process since I can only really offer tips. It shows everything at full size so you can see the details, so go nuts!

Thank you for the ask! Beaming plenty of good luck that you can find the look you want!!

ALSO I REALLY HOPE THIS IS THE PIECE YOU MEANT I'M LITERALLY ABOUT TO QUEUE THIS UP AND JUST REALIZED THE ONE THAT CAME BEFORE THIS IS MORE REMASTERED CEL ANIMATION LOOK SKSKSKSK

the same tips apply though so i hope they still help all the same :3c

[coffeebleeds]

Magical Strike

He fiddled with the cigar in his hand, twirling it between his fingers. Black silk draped over his arms, not giving nearly enough warmth for the windows he had to keep open to prevent the smoke from choking them during the shoot. He heaved a heavy sigh, taking a puff on the cigar as he leaned against the wall.

"Don't smoke it all between takes, Jones." Catalina chided.

He glanced over his shoulder at the fully-dressed woman tucked under the comforter of his bed. White sheets contrasted with the dark contour of her makeup, leaving smudges of olive tone on what had once been perfect cotton. He rolled his eyes, taking another puff and blowing it in her direction just to spite her.

Her gray eyes flickered toward him, half-lidded in a glare that sent his heart hammering in his chest. Her red-painted lips drew into a smirk, illuminated by the light of her phone screen. "I'd love to get a video of that, but that'd require a frontal shot."

Alfred's face bloomed red and he turned back around, grinding his teeth. The black robe over his t-shirt and shorts hung loose and untied. It was all about what went unseen, she said. Everything to give the impression, but never the confirmation, of anything in particular. "Just do the damn take before all your foundation rubs off on my pillows." He huffed.

Her snorting laughter would never make it to social media. Like everything else good and tolerable about this woman, it would be edited out. "Alright, alright. Calm your tits. One more take. But don't look at me this time. It doesn't convey the right amount of bastard if you look at me."

Sheets shifted behind him, the same as every other take they'd done this afternoon. Alfred's bare toes on his carpet desperately begged for him to put some socks on, or else to shut the damn window and put out the cigar. Naturally she would give herself the bed for this scene, the cozy bitch. Her part was a silent one, meant to give the impression that she was filming without his consent or knowledge. In an hour or two after posting, he'd 'discover' the video on her account and comment something nasty and degrading, as they'd discussed earlier.

"Action."

At her direction, Alfred took an exaggerated puff on the cigar, blowing out a cloud of sweet, smooth smoke that rolled out toward the (off-screen) open window. He let the sleeve of his robe fall down to his elbow, displaying the lipstick smears like scratch marks down his arms. He kept his focus trained ahead, toward the bathroom door and away from the camera - and the director.

He counted to five. Six. Seven. Eight.

"Alright, I think we've got it this time." Catalina announced. "Come here and tell me what you think."

At last released from his post by the wall, Alfred practically sprinted over to the bed to view the finished product. Catalina's blouse was hopelessly wrinkled from her constant shifting and tucking between the sheets during this endeavor. She wiggled over to sit next to him on the bed, selfishly keeping the warm covers to herself.

The video was a simple one, inspired by the very same TikTok comment that now graced the corner of the screen. "Okay but you know the hate sex between these two must be INSANE." Catalina's sharp brows raised, a close up of her supposedly reading this comment for the first time. The camera switched from front-facing to back, showing Alfred from her perspective. Bare calves and arms, black silk covering whatever the internet wanted to imagine. When the camera flipped back around, Catalina's signature smirk, slightly smudged on the side of her mouth, ended the clip with the quick caption. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Alfred watched the video loop a few more times, both of them scrutinizing every detail for flaws or tells. This now being the twelfth time they'd filmed this video, he critiqued his own movements more carefully. Everything about this take appeared adequate. His shorts didn't show this time, at the very least. He nodded, handing the phone back to her. "Looks good." He said, deliberately avoiding letting his gaze linger too long on her. "I've never looked like more of a douchebag."

Another of her snorts was his reply as she took the phone. "I don't know if I'd go quite that far. You've got a lot of douchebag potential." She saved the video to post during the peak hours later that evening. "Hey, can I try that?"

"Hm?" Alfred stared at her a moment, not understanding what she meant. He followed her gaze to the cigar in his hand. "Oh! Yeah, of course."

She accepted the cigar readily, thick between her tanned fingers. Her lips left red stains on the dark wrapper. The same smoke he'd been breathing in for nearly half an hour curled away from her nose. When he took the cigar back, he wondered if she could taste him as much as he now strained to taste her.

[ilaein]

Hi babi,

Happiest Birthday to you again. It’s been 8 years and I’m still fond of you. I hope you always well. I’ve been so happy to witness all your achievements in life. I had the chance to see you twice personally and the recent MysteryElevator still lingers in me. You look exactly how I thought of you, well more ethereal than ever. You look so.. so unreal. Most of the time while you are performing I can’t compose my thoughts that u are really right infront of me It feels like I’m just watching you on the big screen. Silly. My soft spoken voice struggle to shout your name as everyone in the crowd did the same. I sob in between some of your songs esp my fave ones. I can’t believe my eyes you’re glowing! Glowing infront of me .. of us..

I remember how stunned I was during our Hi-Bye session. I didn’t expect you’ll be that close.. I nearly can’t breathe. 😅 Got some heart and soul malfunction. 🤭🤣 I was mesmerized.. I wasn’t able to fell asleep no matter how tired I was after the show. I spent the rest of the evening wondering.. how can you be that handsome?! Hahahaha I also promised to myself that, that would be the last fancon of yours that I’ll go to. ‘Cause I just wanna move on with my life.. this life around me. I’m getting old and I find it hard to like someone else while I’m attracted to you. Hahaha It’s crazy. Im crazy.

For the past few weeks I avoided watching your clips that pops up everywhere.. literally in every social I have .. even random reels I was scrolling to in my dummy Insta I saw you! I restricted myself from checking notifs that includes news about you. I even unfollowed your official twitter account haha. I talk about it to some of my friends I requested them not to mention you anymore. ‘Cause they love to tease me using gifs of u or sending me clips about you. I’m still your fan but I have to detach myself in some way before it gets deeper than this. I don’t want my future husband be mad when he sees my diary full of dongmin. Haha.

Recently i bumped into twitter account handler “Kai” she’s the luckiest fan ever. She was able to attend most of your fanmeets and had several videocall with you. I was so happy for her. She even prepared a NEW YORK TIMES SQUARE AD with the largest single LED with the best resoultion! for your Birthday today! Like just wow! She really made everything so possible! She also prepares gifts and a manager of one of your fan projects. Incredible! 🤍💜

Then I realized.. for those long years that I became your fan, I wasn’t able to give you anything.. aside from flexing you on my socials, making you my cover photo since 2016 haha which I remove last 2022z Greeting you a Happiest Birthday in all of my socials.. Facebook, Insta, Twitter, etc. Supporting your songs, projects and dramas silently reposting them.. and just praying for your happiness and health.. that’s all I manage to do.. Don’t have the means to sent you food trucks like what Kim Domingo did.. or to show up in every fancon venue you have scheduled like Andrea. But one thing we all have in common.. that I’m sure of.. We all love you! 🥰

This might be my last post and greetings as I now focus in my own journey. But no matter what I’m still an aroha and eunwoo stan by heart. Thank you for being my inspiration all throughout my college years. Thank you for existing..

Happiest Birthday to you again, naesarang.

May you get all the best in life and please know that you deserve them all.

Yourstrully,

A.Lee

(Ps. As I am writing the last few sentences spotify that’s currently on shuffle playing some random playlist decided to play “STAY” from your Entity Album yes. And I almost chuckled. You’re growing so much on me, I’m scared haha. Next thing I knew I was giggling and turning red. You’re not even here! I’m sweating! Hahahahahaha)

Here are some of your recent pictures I truly love! Its not that obvious I love your long hair right? Haha!

And ops! I will definitely tell you once I had my Gabriel Dongmin hahahaha 🤭

[captainrex89]

Crosshair x Varel Avano (OC belonging to @zaana)

This fic is inspired by the art and OC of @zaana! I got permission from Zaana to write and post this. I plan to write 1-2 more based off her Crosshair and Varel art, which you should check out, it's absolutely beautiful! I hope you enjoy, this is my first time writing :)

Again, please check out the art created by @zaana! She has a beautiful way of telling a story using only drawings! Varel is 100% her character, all descriptions are based off of the art as well as input when she read this prior to publishing it.

Crosshair x OC Jedi Varel Avano

The Bad Batch is assigned a mission with a Jedi who is an environmental scientist. Crosshair starts to notice some interesting emotions....

Crosshair was in a foul mood. The Bad Batch was being sent out on another mission, however, this particular mission was not one of the usual type for the elite commandos. The squad was being sent to an Outer Rim planet called Dunbar on a reconnaissance mission with a Jedi. Hunter had informed the squad this morning that the Jedi was an environmental scientist and that they were to escort this scientist while she investigated the planet. The GAR wanted to establish a base on this remote planet, but there was little known about the flora and fauna and whether it was safe to inhabit or not. Crosshair ground his teeth on the toothpick in his mouth. This was no mission for he and his brothers. Couldn’t this Jedi look after herself? He felt as though this were a waste of their skills. He leaned against the Marauder while Tech finished repairing damage sustained from the last mission. Wrecker was keeping himself occupied by bench-pressing Gonky, the quiet bustle of the hangar occasionally interrupted by the droid’s half-hearted protests. Crosshair shifted the toothpick in his mouth as he saw Hunter crossing the hangar floor. 

“Alright boys, we leave in 20. Tech, do you have the repairs complete?” the Sergeant asked the lanky pilot. 

Tech slid out from under the belly of the ship. “Of course I have,” he replied in a clipped tone. “Allow me to put the panels back in place and I will begin inputting our destination into the nav-system”. He then slid back under the ship and the clanking of metal soon sounded from his position. 

“Wrecker, I need you to go to landing pad 13 and help General Avano bring her equipment to the Marauder.” Hunter continued. He then turned to Crosshair, observing the sniper’s arms crossed over his chest and the scowl that was on his face. “Cross, just be nice” the Sergeant said, pinching the bridge of his nose. Wrecker let out a loud “HA” as he lowered Gonky to the ground and strode off towards landing pad 13. Crosshair just rolled the toothpick in his mouth again and replied with his usual snark “Sir, yes sir”. 

================

Varel Avano was checking over her equipment as Wrecker approached her with a hearty “Hello General!” She looked up from the crate and smiled warmly at the large clone. “You must be Wrecker” she replied, tilting her head up to look him in the eyes. “Hunter said you would be coming.” Wrecker nodded his head. “What needs to go to the ship?” Varel closed the crate next to her and said “Just this crate here, I can carry the rest.” She picked up a small satchel which she slung across her shoulder, and then picked up the datapad next to it. “Yes ma’am, General” Wrecker replied as he shouldered the crate. “Please, call me Varel,” she stated, placing a hand on Wrecker’s arm. “Well, if you insist!” he replied with a large grin. Varel smiled back, and the two set out across the hangar. 

================

Crosshair looked up when he heard Hunter greet the General. His scowl deepened as he took in the young Jedi. She was petite, barely reaching the top of his shoulder in height. Her brown hair was pulled up in a half bun, the rest falling in soft tendrils around her face and over her shoulders. Freckles were scattered across her nose and cheeks, making her skin look slightly pale. She did not wear traditional Jedi robes, but wore a loose fitting skirt and tunic over the top of a pair of blacks. A standard Jedi belt was around her waist, from which hung a pouch and her lightsaber. Her bright green eyes danced as she chatted with Wrecker. Crosshair stared in silent shock. Maker, this girl looked as though she had never seen the outside of a lab. How had she been chosen to go on this mission? How was she so……pretty? Crosshair quickly shoved this thought away. He remained leaning against the ship next to the ramp as Tech descended from the ship, tapping away at his datapad. 

“General Avano has quite the extensive studies in flora, fauna and all things environmental” he commented without looking up at Crosshair. “This should prove to be quite an informational mission.”

Crosshair huffed with disdain “Some kid Jedi who likes plants,” he pulled the toothpick from between his lips and flicked it away. “Let’s just get this mission over with.” Crosshair was torn between wanting to more about Varel and wanting to keep his stony reputation intact. He quickly elected to put on an icy front and pushed off the ship to stand upright.

Hunter and Varel approached the two as Wrecker carried the crate on board. “General, this is Tech and Crosshair,” Hunter said, staring pointedly at Crosshair. Varel smiled brightly at them and said, “Please call me Varel.” Tech gave a nod of his head, replying “Very well, if that is what you prefer.” He then turned to the ramp of the ship and said “I will begin our final preparations for takeoff. You are welcome to come to the cockpit when we launch, I would very much like to learn about your areas of expertise” Tech made his way up the ramp, leaving Varel with Hunter and Crosshair. Varel turned and started to smile at Crosshair, but the sniper brushed past her without a word and boarded the ship. Varel’s smile faltered, unsure what to think of the interaction. Hunter sighed, “Don’t take it personally, Cross is like that with all new people.” Varel looked up at the tattooed face of the Sergeant. “Thanks,” she said with a smile. “I understand that this is not one of your normal missions. I could see how it would be an insult to be assigned to escort me.” Hunter chuckled at this. “Not to worry, he is easily insulted. Wrecker, Tech and myself are pleased to have you aboard. Tech may talk your ear off, Wrecker is always excited to meet new people.” He gestured to the ramp of the Maurader. “After you, General.” Varel gave a soft, breathy laugh and replied, “Yes Sergeant” 

================

Settled in the co-pilot seat, Varel gazed out the swirling blue and white space as the ship cruised thru hyperspace. Tech had insisted that she take the seat so that she could observe everything. He was an intelligent clone, and she appreciated his excitement to learn new things. He tapped away at his datapad as she told him what little she knew about the planet they were going to scope out. Now having settled into an easy silence, her mind drifted back to Crosshair. Varel had never had problems getting along with new people. She was a rather unconventional Jedi, having chosen to study sciences over being a diplomat. She still carried a lightsaber and was proficient in its use, but she still preferred studying plants to normal Jedi duties. Her gentle personality made it easy for others to work with her, and she had never found herself in this situation. Hunter had said not to take it personally, but she could not help but wonder why he was so displeased by her presence. She sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest and glanced over her shoulder. The other three clones were all sitting behind her and Tech. Hunter and Wrecker were engaged in a game of Dejarik, and Crosshair was carefully cleaning his rifle. The sniper looked up from his task and caught Varel’s glance. She quickly turned back to the viewport and wrapped her arms around her legs. 

Crosshair felt a slight pang of guilt as the pretty young Jedi turned her face away. Growling internally, he focused on the task of cleaning his rifle. Why was he feeling this way? He had seen many pretty faces before. But none had made him feel bad for maintaining his cold exterior when it came to people other than his squad. He hadn’t even spoken to this girl, yet he had a deep yearning to know more about her. Crosshair shook his head and tried to push these unusual feelings away. Things like this would only cause trouble. However, he couldn’t help the warm feeling in his chest whenever Varel spoke. 

================

The flight to Dunbar took several rotations. During this time, Clone Force 99 became acquainted with the young Jedi General. Varel and Tech spent hours sharing information. Wrecker enjoyed playing Djarik and teaching her about explosives. Hunter showed her close quarters combat, something that was new to Varel. Crosshair, however, did his best to keep to himself. This proved to be difficult, as Varel would seek him out to ask questions about various rifles and blasters. He reluctantly answered her questions as briefly as possible. He started to realize that he was intrigued by her and listened in as she spoke with Tech about her upbringing at the Jedi temple. While she was a very intelligent individual, she did not show the same aptitude at lightsaber skills as the others she trained with. While she could handle a lightsaber, she preferred to surround herself with the Force and soak up all the information she could about the environment. She discovered that she had a special connection with animals. She loved plants and did extensive research on how to utilize them to heal sentient and non-sentient beings among many other things. She was allowed to take a different path than other Jedi, choosing to pursue her scientific studies over the diplomatic duties of the Order. However, at the start of the Clone Wars she was promoted to a General under the Courscant Guard and ordered to work on projects that would help provide more medical care to the troops, something that she was more than happy to do. Varel had never been in combat and admitted that she was a little nervous about her lack of combat training. Hunter reassured her that it would not be a problem. The Bad Batch was assigned to her for a reason, Wrecker told her. Varel smiled at the explosives expert, “Well I feel so much better about this whole venture knowing I have you at my side.” She couldn’t help but glance back at Crosshair. The man was an enigma to her. She wanted to know more about him, but he was so closed off. Crosshair looked up from the blaster he was cleaning and happened to catch her eye. Varel felt herself blush and quickly looked away. Over the last few days, she found herself struggling with feelings that were new to her. She enjoyed the company of all the clones on this mission, but there was something about Crosshair that felt different. She could sense that he was reluctant to work with her, but there was also a warmth that she felt when in his presence. Her thoughts were interrupted by the proximity alarm going off, indicating that they were nearing their destination. Tech assumed his spot in the pilot seat and Wrecker planted himself in the co-pilot seat. Hunter, Crosshair and Varel seated themselves in the jump seats, pulling down the restraints. Varel felt a nervous energy coursing thru her. She was excited about the prospect of new discovery, but also nervous. She felt a certain pressure on her to make sure that this planet was inhabitable. Across from her, Hunter looked at her with an expression that read “You good?”. She smiled back, nodding her head. Glancing to Crosshair, who was seated by Hunter, her gaze was met with his steely eyes. He raised an eyebrow, then shifted his gaze to her hands. Varel noticed that she was clutching the restraints quite tightly, and she felt her face flush as she loosened her grip and slid her hands to her lap. Tech landed the ship with no incidents, and he immediately started running scans to see if the air was compatible with life. Varel lifted the restraints and began to collect her equipment from the cargo hold. The other members of the squad went about collecting their own equipment, Hunter sheathing his vibro blade, Wrecker collecting a variety of explosives and Crosshair cradling his beloved Firepuncher. Shortly, Tech finished his scans, declaring the atmosphere hospitable. He collected his own blasters and turned to look at Varel. 

“I believe we are ready to depart,” Tech stated, looking at Hunter who placed his helmet on his head. The others followed suit as Varel slung her bag over her shoulder, datapad in hand. “Wrecker, you and I will take point,” Hunter ordered. “Tech, you stay next to General Avano, and Crosshair, you take up the rear”. Hunter looked to Varel, “General, you do your thing.” Varel replied with a two finger salute and a hearty “Yes sir!”.

As the crew left the Marauder, Crosshair scanned the area. There were no immediate threats that he could see. Dunbar was a forested planet, covered with plants of varying sizes and colors. As he looked about, he couldn’t help but watch Varel. There was a sparkle in her eyes that Crosshair found mesmerizing. As they made their way thru the trees, the sniper kept an eye on the surroundings, but his gaze always wound up on Varel. At one point, she stopped dead in her tracks tapping away furiously on her datapad. She excitedly shared some info with Tech, and then suddenly turned to look directly at Crosshair, a brilliant smile on her face. Crosshair was glad his bucket was on, as he felt his face flush. Varel looked at where his eyes would be behind his helmet for a moment and then went back to talking to Tech, the smile never leaving her face. 

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After spending several hours hiking thru the woods, the group returned to the Marauder. They started to set up camp, the plan being that tomorrow they would move the ship to another location and conduct more testing. Varel sat next to the campfire while Wrecker cooked some fish he had caught in a nearby river. Busily noting her findings on her datapad, she spoke to no one in particular. “So far everything we have found presents no danger to sentient beings,” Varel looked up at the trees and smiled. “The birds here are a new species to me, but they have yet to pose any threat.” 

“I would agree,” Tech interjected. “They have been around us all day and have not shown any signs of aggression. Some curiosity, perhaps. I thought that one was going to land on Wrecker’s head.” Varel laughed, remembering the bright blue bird that had followed them for some time before swooping close to Wrecker’s head, causing him to duck. “I am hopeful that this planet will work for the Republic’s needs,” she stated. “All of the plant life seems to be harmless, I would love to see more wildlife though.” Hunter grunted in agreement. “If we fly low, we may cause something to show itself.” 

Varel nodded, “The birds and insects are easy to deal with, I am curious to see what kind of predator type animals there are here.” She looked back to her data pad. “Depending on what we find tomorrow, I would be comfortable declaring Dunbar safe for a base, given that proper precautions are taken for any sentient natives.” She bit her lip and looked up at Hunter and Tech. “It’s a large planet, so with the amount of time we have been given I can’t say that it will be safe in that regards. I can only say that the plants and animals that we see present no danger to our forces.” 

Tech adjusted his goggles, looking at his own datapad. “The Republic will be able to handle any sentient beings should they make themselves known. Do not worry over that.” 

After eating their meal, the clones and the Jedi began to settle down to sleep. With the temperate weather, they opted to sleep outside the ship, something Varel greatly appreciated. Hunter stated that he would take first watch. “Can’t be too careful,” he said, holstering his blaster. “We haven’t seen all the creatures that could be around.” Varel nodded in agreement. Wrecker offered to take second watch, followed by Crosshair, Varel, then Tech. As Varel laid out her bedroll, she glanced over at the sniper as he made his own bed. She didn’t say anything, but she felt him glancing at her all day. “What is his deal?” she thought, sliding under her blanket and making sure her lightsaber was close. She lay down, looking up at the stars. “And why can I not stop thinking about him?” She continued to ponder these confusing thoughts as she drifted off to sleep. 

Varel was startled awake by an abrupt presence in the Force. Not even a second after her eyes shot open, a single blaster shot rang out. Varel sat upright quickly, glancing around. Crosshair was crouched in a kneeling position with his DC-17 pointing away from the camp. The other clones were all awakened by the blast. “What did you see?” Varel asked, scrambling to her feet. “Let’s find out,” Crosshair replied, standing up to walk into the tall grass next to the camp. He pulled out a creature with feline features and about the size of a Lurca hound. Varel gave a soft cry “You didn’t kill it, did you?” She rushed over to where Crosshair laid the creature on the ground and knelt next to it. “No,” the sniper growled. “Just stunned it.” He turned and stalked away back to the ship. Varel looked up at Hunter, who just shook his head and quietly said “He’ll get over it.” Varel sighed and turned her attention to the creature as Tech came over with his datapad in hand. 

Crosshair made his way up the ramp of the ship. “Did she really think I was going to kill it?” He thought angrily. This thought came as a surprise to him. He didn’t care what others thought about him. Why was this girl so different? He growled as he went to grab his cleaning kit. Cleaning his weapon always calmed him, gave him time to think. “Could I really like this girl?” he thought. He shook his head as if to rid himself of that thought “She’s a Jedi, they don’t allow themselves attachments.” As he finished cleaning, he came to the conclusion that he would continue to do his job, but maybe not be so cold to her. 

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As the sun came up the next morning, Varel found herself less distressed than she had been last night. She felt relief when Crosshair had informed her that he had only stunned the creature, but then felt a pang of guilt when he stormed off. “I shouldn’t have assumed that he killed it.” she berated herself. She wanted to try to get to know Crosshair better, and this was not the way to go about it. She sighed deeply as she picked up her bedroll. “Get yourself together Avano,” she thought sternly. “It’s a new day.” She was relived to find that Crosshair didn’t act any more distant than he normally was. “This is a good start.” she said to herself as she loaded her gear onto the Marauder. With everyone on board, Tech piloted the ship over the forest to a less densely wooded area. Flying low, he hoped to cause creatures to come out of hiding. Several herbivore animals that Varel recognized made an appearance, plus one more predator creature that she was familiar with. She made notes in her datapad as they travelled. The creature Crosshair had stunned the night before was new, and she had made a profile of it as well. When they arrived at a suitable landing area, Tech put the ship down so that they could explore the area on foot. Varel reveled in the new surroundings, taking in all the info she could. As the day grew warmer, the boys removed their helmets to breath in the fresh air. Crosshair walked alongside Varel, discreetly watching her. A horned beetle flew by, it’s shiny green carapace the same shade as Varel’s eyes. As it buzzed by noisily, Crosshair watched as Varel tracked its path thru the air. Suddenly, she closed her eyes, gently lifting her hand. Crosshair watched as the beetle made a lazy turn and drifted back towards the Jedi. It landed in the palm of her outstretched hand, and Varel opened her eyes. A gentle smile spread across her freckled face as she looked at the beetle. Crosshair felt his heart skip a beat. “She is so different from any other Jedi.” he thought. 

Varel watched the beetle as it took off, and she became acutely aware that Crosshair was looking at her. She turned to meet his gaze, and to her surprise her gave a slight smirk and nodded his head “General” he said, as he turned away and continued walking to catch up with his brothers. Varel felt herself blush, as she returned the greeting with a quiet “Crosshair” and nod of her head. She stood still for a moment, watching as he walked on ahead. Perplexed, she shook her head and followed. 

Later on in the afternoon, the group came upon a lake surrounded by a multitude of flowers. “This area would be ideal for a base,” Varel stated to the group. She pointed to the trees and cliffs not too far off from the lake. “Ideal coverage for dwellings at the bases of the cliffs, open area to land ships and a fresh water source.” Tech was busily tapping away at his datapad and looked up to survey the area. “I agree,” he said. “This planet has great potential for several bases.” Hunter decided that he and Tech would go back for the Marauder, and they would camp for the night here before leaving for Courscant the next morning. Wrecker said that he would fish for dinner in the lake while they waited for Tech and Hunter’s return. Crosshair stood silently observing, Varel stated she was going to take a closer look at the flowers around the lake. With a reminder to stay alert, Hunter left with Tech. Wrecker happily made his way to the lakeside, leaving Crosshair and Varel together. She looked at Crosshair out of the corner of her eye. “Well, I am going to go document the plants over there,” she pointed to a large tree that spread its wide leaves over the edge of the lake, providing a shaded area. She began to walk that direction, and to her surprise Crosshair followed a moment later. He had put his helmet back on, and when they got to the tree, he leaned against the trunk with his arms crossed over his chest. Varel gave a small gasp when she saw a purple flower that was swirled with sliver streaks. Gently taking one of the blossoms in her hand, she said “This is one of my favorites of the nebula orchid family!” She looked up at Crosshair, with a gentle smile on her face. “The nebula orchids are known for…..” She trailed off and bit her lip. “Sorry,” she said quietly. “I’m sure this doesn’t interest you.” She let the flower drop from her hand and started to turn away. “Go ahead,” She looked up in surprise and raised an eyebrow, as if to question if she really did hear those words from the sniper’s mouth. “Can’t be any worse than Tech’s rants.” The smile crept back across Varel’s face. Turning back to the dark purple flower, she went on. “The nebula orchids are known for resembling various nebulas, as the name indicates. This particular one,” she stated as she gently traced the silver streaks of the petals, “originates from Alderaan.” She looked back at Crosshair. “I especially like this one as it glows in the moonlight. Sadly, they can’t be found on Courscant.” Crosshair nodded his head, and Varel continued to document the plants. The quiet of the afternoon was periodically interrupted by a triumphant shout from Wrecker. 

Tech and Hunter soon returned with the ship. When it came time to set up camp, Varel insisted that they lay out the bedrolls near the tree. “We can put the fire on the small beach over there,” she said. “Trust me, you don’t want to obstruct the moonlight tonight.” 

When it came time to bed down, Varel took the first watch. As the moonlight filtered into the camp, the squad was amazed to see the purple flowers come to life. The dark purple became a brilliant glowing shade, and the silver streaks sparkled and seemed to swirl over the petals. As Crosshair drifted off to sleep, he couldn’t help but keep his eyes on Varel’s face as she basked in the glowing light of the nebula orchid. 

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The return to Courscant was uneventful. Varel was disappointed to leave the squad, but they had other missions to attend to. Wrecker lifted her in a bone crushing hug, which she gladly reciprocated to the best of her abilities. A small transport arrived to take Varel and her equipment back to her small apartment on the GAR base. She gave a two fingered salute to the clones as she piloted the craft away. Upon arriving to her apartment, she returned her equipment to the small lab that was attached to her dwelling. She then went to report her findings to the Council. After a couple of hours, she finally returned to her apartment. Locking the door behind her, she turned towards the living area. To her surprise, she found on the table a pot with a single, purple nebula orchid.

To be continued!