#my love and kin bby

[nyxcaelum]

A new fav for my Sigma reactions collection

[kaeyachi]

Kaeya and Kaveh meet and there is just an understanding between them

[chasgoo]

My partner posts me being mean to them, but what ppl don't see is the blatant ABUSE I go through with this relationship

This is what I go through......I don't feel safe anymore that's literally so fucked up omg

[honey-minded-hivemind]

The platonic yanderes I've mentioned before all have nicknames and relationships with their bby (a.k.a. you, the reader!). How they met their bby is considered a special, life-changing moment in their eyes, and they are protective in their own... special... ways. But that story will come at a later date. For now, I think I should delve into some smaller stuff , so let's explore the type of humor and nicknames between these platonic yans and their bby:

• 🧡Wolverine/Logan Howlett🦡: nicknames for his bby: pup, bub, darlin', shortstack (regardless of if you are shorter than him or taller than him)

Nicknames his bby gives him: Lo, Old Guy, Wulv, Mr. Cigarette Duet (the bby might have either been testing the waters with that one, or under anesthesia. People say weird things under that stuff)

Their humor: dry humor and small quips

• 🦁Sabretooth/Victor Creed🦷: nicknames for his bby: cub, fresh meat, whelp, kitten

Nicknames his bby gives him: Vic, Large Lion Man, Shere Khan, Mr. Backstabber (both literally and metaphorically, bby has seen him do both, it was messy)

Their humor: cat puns

• 🦡Wolverine 2.0/Laura Kinney💛: nicknames for her bby: fox, pearl, sibling-in-arms, honeybee

Nicknames her bby gives her: Laurel, Kin-ship, Baby Claws, Little Badger

Their humor: stand up comedy (where you pretty much do a spoken caricature of your life, poking fun at it, or something that happens to you)

• 🐺Daken/Akihiro🌀: nicknames for his bby: beautiful, doll, handsome, my favorite (insert sexuality/gender)

Nicknames his bby gives him: Wolf Guy, Seducter, Nature's Child, Lone Wolf (the bby calls him Seducter because they found out about his pheromone ability. And yeah, the bby poked fun at the fact it failed on the bby, because they aren't attracted to him in the least like that)

Their humor: quips and movie references

• 🔥Marvel Girl/The Phoenix/Jean Grey🦚: nicknames for her bby: sunshine, dear, sweetie, firecracker

Nicknames her bby gives her: Miss Marvelous, Venus, mind games, Jeanie

Their humor: inside jokes

• 😎Cyclops/Scott Summers🚨: nicknames for his bby: kiddo, shortstuff, kid, gremlin

Nicknames his bby gives him: Scout, Shades, Laser-Light, Ruby in the Rough (bby wanted him to feel good about his power, so they say those nicknames in a nice fashion)

Their humor: puns all the way

• 🥈Cable/Nathan Summers🤖: nicknames for his bby: tiny, powerhouse, tyke-bomb, brat (he means these nicely, even if he is gruff and stern)

Nicknames his bby gives him: Back To The Future, Terminator, Metal Man, Mr. Robocop (bby couldn't help themself, they saw so many nickname opportunities)

Their humor: banter and witty remarks

• 🎭Mystique/Raven Darkholme💙: nicknames for her bby: child, precious, dear, little heathen

Nicknames her bby gives her: Karma Chameleon, Blue, enchantress, The Blue Fairy

Their humor: witty and dry remarks

• 🎱Rogue/Anne-Marie🥀: nicknames for her bby: suga', hun, love, sweetheart

Nicknames her bby gives her: Miss-Anne-thrope, Marie, Killer Queen, lovedove

Their humor: Southern stand up comedy and phrases ("sweet Southern heat is not just a flavor", "sweeter than apple pie", and jokes of all the various animals found in the South, especially in weird and concerning places)

• ♠️Gambit/Remy LeBeau♥️: nicknames for his baby: Ace of Spades, imp, bebe, ma moitie

Nicknames his bby gives him: King of Hearts, Sugar and Spice, trickster, Jack

Their humor: poking fun at languages and their relationships (the English and French language are hard to master. Good job if you understand half of it, or even a little of it)

• 🌌Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner😇: nicknames for his bby: angel, treasure, friend, beauty

Nicknames his bby gives him: doll-baby (it is a Southern nickname, it means sweet, charming, and innocent, in my area), Angel of the Night, fluffball, Blue (Da Ba Dee)

Their humor: pranks. Pranks all around

These are all my opinion, and if you get the references, great job! If not, that is okay! These were my ideas of nicknames and humor for previously mentioned platonic yanderes (plus their bby's nicknames for them!). I hope you enjoyed these platonic yandere honeycomb thoughts!

[melissaschemmentisglasses]

I have so so so many thoughts about this episode. They will all be unorganized bc I have ✨ADHD✨ and also because I will rewatch this episode tomorrow at least 3 times.

Let’s start with me being vulnerable for a second here:

I am in PAIN because I can’t shake the line “I love my mom but you know that’s my mom”. Janine is not as naïve as people paint her to be at times, she know the kind of person that Vanetta is and how selfish she is, deep down Janine probably deals with the conflict of how hard it is to love someone that only loves you conditionally, when it benefits them. This leads me to see how breaking up with Tariq was actually such an important step towards her growth as a person.

Barbara smiling at being called “Work Mom” will never leave my mind. Don’t ask me why I’m making this such a big thing just know that it is a big thing for me. Barbara fell into the mom role for Janine in such an organic way that seeing her celebrate Janine when she announces that she will go on vacation made me grin like an idiot and seeing her defend her like she’s her own kin made me wish she really squared up at that moment because you know that Barbara Howard has been a teacher long enough to see her fair share of narcissistic parents.

Now I’ll be stupid 😌 :

I AM BEGGING FOR MELISSA TO BE MADE CANONICALLY BISEXUAL. SHE’S FRUIT PUNCH OKAY? THE CLOSET IS GLASS WITH HER.

“She smell of citrus and spice” Melissa bby that’s gay

Ava being intimidated by Vanetta was lowkey gay. Mean Femme x Mean Femme might be my new fave trope

Melissa and Jacob might share a single brain cell when alone. It’s always “dumb bitch” hour with them.

The queen of hearts is the card of the sapphics. I will not elaborate.

[diagonal-queen]

nah cus fyodor being like 'sigma is so lonely he has nobody' and sigma being like 'tbh i didnt wanna fight i just wanted to run away and cry' and him also being like 'i never got to learn the reason for my existence' oh my god i'm beyond kinning him he and i share some deep soul connection istg

now some other thoughts from yours truly on this season finale:

BABY TACHIHARA <3

even though there was no sskk shenanigans i'm glad that we got a lot of sigma (and atsushi too) and that it ended with the return of the man ever, mykola hohol

LUCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE MARRY ME 💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍 I'M GAY JUST FOR YOU BBY

i love teruko's laugh. 'KEHKEHKEHKEHKEHKEHKEH'

i was trying so hard to take the black lizard hospital scene seriously but i couldn't because the music in the background was the same music as the 'as if bruh' scene in wan! and i was just laughing the whole time

glad to see a .2 second cameo of my lads kenji and tanizaki <3

[domesticated-whores]

list of reasons why i kin angel dust

absolutely nobody asked or cares, and it absolutely goes into headcanon & projecting territory, but it's my void and i can scream into it how i please, so--

also, tiny note, i am loose and casual with kinning. i'm just saying heavily relate to the point that i can easily see myself parallel that character.

gay femboy supremacy 💅💅

nice tits (his are fluff, i'm transmasc and am too fem to care to go into debt over physical transition... either way, we got soft titties)

wearing pleasers ✨️exclusively✨️ (i also wear demonias, but they're owned by pleasers)

earlier iterations of him were more genderfluid but he's now canonly a cis man, i use to think i was more genderfluid due to being super fem (presenting) sometimes and being just meh about my body but am now confident that i'm just a really genderqueer trans dude.

doesn't overly mind fem language, *sometimes* intentionally uses it. refers to self decently androgynously (alternating between "fem" and "masc" shit)

pet mama 💕

my cats are my babies, i'd die and kill for them, genuinely one of the only lights in my life

animal lover in general, honestly!! babes, they're so fucking cute!!

i also prefer fucking ugly/weird animals like farm animals, trash animals (possums, raccoons, etc), some reptiles, and spiders

spiders are my very favorite creatures, so yeah i fw the spider character

overworked at a shitty job that there's no real way out of

like, i didn't sell my soul ig but i live in a small area and don't drive, and my cats need food and a roof over their little baby noggins, so mama needs a job no matter the cost

also, TOXIC fucking work environment. not comparable to workplace abuse, but FUCK--

and i ✨️ain't doing that shit sober✨️ bbgirl, i DRINK because of that place.

((that's a half-truth, i don't go TO work drunk because i am not subtle, but the instant i'm out and have any money--))

i also work A LOT, honestly. icky, nasty, 'sgusting.

✨️inferiority complex and heavy masking✨️

feet are weird, i especially hate my own

don't touch my feet, don't look at my feet, if anyone's around imma be in socks or smth, feet are a hard no for me

let's 👏 talk 👏 kink 👏

into bdsm and generally kinky shit

✨️ SUPER sex positive ✨️

growing collection of ✨️toys✨️ that i'm becoming increasingly proud of

it's a part of life, so i really don't see any taboo in fucking??

willing to try almost ANYTHING if i stand to gain from it or just to see if i'm into it

✨️ switch ✨️

PRAISE ME

... or, alternatively DEGRADE ME

on the regular, i just want to feel safe and loved and lowkey spoiled--

but i also fuck HARD with the spicy stuff

honestly, hardcore things are more professional than intimate

((i don't do sw, but i am into kink in a very nerdy, special interest, academic type of way... fuck me so i can write an essay about the dynamics at play, daddy~!))

on that note,, ✨️ trauma ✨️

specifically, sa :)

sa that really changes how you see and use sex, and how you outwardly PRETEND to see and use sex

being manipulated by someone you cared about in some way

((luckily, mine was short-lived... only the aftermath was long-lasting))

there's also family trauma :)

the idea of going no contact--

i kin people that are no/low contact because FUCK~ it's a lovely concept. i personally can't for... reasons... but if i could

will make the cheap-shot sex joke

i vape only the fruitiest bullshit flavors and, like, rip angel you would have loved this straw-blueberry vape with this funky abstract art on it bby

that's just, like, off the top of my head. idk, idk. he's literally me. not on everything, but he's the character i've related to the hardest in a HOT SECOND.

also, love the fact that all of this is true but also valentino is my fucking all time favorite character and my pfp. like, i look at angel and am hit with most deep and profound sense of "this is a character a that i relate to and see myself in to an insane degree" and then i turn around and see his fucking abuser and, with my FULL fucking chest go "scrumbly wittle bpd princess man 💕, i wuvs him 💕, i couldn't fix him but i could break him and mold him into my little disaster housewife 💕" like a fucking insane person. it's fine, it's fine, their literally cartoons!! i'm delulu about drawings!! it's okay!!

[humblemooncat]

OC Tag Game

Tagged by the lovely @mimble-sparklepudding & @healersadjust! Just getting around to this now that I'm back, so thank you guys for your patience! <3

Favorite oc - Ki'to

Newest oc- Kin

Oldest oc- Orias (I've had her since '21 at least, maybe late 2020)

Meanest oc - Nox. Definitely Nox

Softest oc - My softest uwu baby boy is Ahko'to Qhantari. He is baby and I love he. I just don't do much with him so I haven't introduced him yet. xD

Most aloof/standoffish oc - Nox (I think Kin also qualifies for this since they don't socialize ever really, so they tend to seem this way)

Dumbest (affectionate) oc - L O H I, my beloved himbo

Smartest oc - Y'rhala, though Ori's a close second. My Sharlayan bbys.

Horniest oc - K I ' T O

Oc you’d bang - Ki'to, without a second thought.

Oc you’d be best friends with irl - Also Ki'to. I love the personality he's developed, we'd be the best of friends.

I'm getting to this late, so most people I know have probably already been tagged. But if you haven't done this yet, then let me be the one to tag you. <3

[aesopsbaby]

Well!! Let's start of with

Hamori!

GONNA BE HONEST,,,HES MY SECOND CLOSE FAV,,, I just generally like guys that are more flirtatious heheh and I was amazed at his design!!

Fudo!

He's cool!! And I love his design <3 not much to say about him sadly :(( I'm just not particularly drawn to him (SORRY FUDO-- I still love him just not as much as I do with Tsukiyomi :,) )

Samebito!

HES SO BBY!! I absolutely adore his design and his story makes me so emotional :(( He is me frfr (I might or might not kin him,,)

All characters here belongs to @feelin-lo !

[dorkygurl-89]

saw the fnaf movie yesterday. here's my thoughts

spoilers below

love it. love everything about it. mike might've just become my kin cuz he is definitely me when i get older. abby is an absolute sweet bby gorl. those two have one of the best sibling dynamics. vanessa was okay. full on expected her to go vanny and was kinda disappointed. oh well. i kinda hated the plotwist that the counselor was afton but imma let it slide cuz it didn't ruin the whole movie

now, onto the animatronics

HOLY FUCK

I WANNA HUG THEM SO BAD

they were just little prescious babies (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

and yes, i know they killed that group but it was justified. i mean, those dumbasses basically broke into their house and started tearing shit up. i probably would've done the same thing (for legal reasons, this is a joke)

and i love the ghost children scenes and their little motifs that represent which animatronic they are

the matpat and cory cameos.......WHOOOOOOO

LET'S FUCKIN GOOOOOOO

i was flopping around in my seat when i saw matpat. so proud of him. and i'm proud of cory too, even though i never watched him

that balloon boy figurine jumpscare got me the first time. didn't do anything the second time. and then made me laugh the third time (poor cory)

and holy fuck, they used tlt's fnaf song for the credits. everything has came full circle

idc if the movie is good or not. this movie was for the fans and for the fans alone. this was just a massive thank you from scott cawthon to the fanbase. and y'know what?

thank you, scott. thank you for making a game that resonated with so many people. thank you for making a game that inspired so many people to make their own fangames with their own spin on things. thank you for making a game that allowed people to get creative with their interpretations and theories (we stan matpat in this household)

just, thanks man

(ALSO WTF WAS THAT VOICE SAYING NEAR THE END OF THE CREDITS?! WHAT DID IT SAYYYYYYYY??????)

[tortoisebore]

i read the chapter again because I was sleep deprived when I first did it and omg tortoise.

I can't believe that every time I read hey sharpshooter I find another thing to kin about sirius. girlie was really going through it

Loved the tension, the angsté, love how you portraits sirius trauma and how it affects the way he perceives himself and his relationships. it's not!! talked about!! enough!!!

AND PLEASE THE KISS SCENE!!!!! I WAS SO DISRESPECTFUL WHILE READING IT OMG

James' scene made my eyes water really, he's everything to me!! And Sirius finally finally starting to accept the love he deserves it's adorable.

I think that you could write a chocolate cake recipe and I would read it like it was the bible. Great, lovely work darling, really 🫶 Please rest well!!

girlie was GOING THROUGHHH IT

sirius is so relatable ugh he’s so real he’s all of us

i didn’t identify as a sirius girlie until i got into writing this & now i’m like huh…………that’s so me. that’s literally me. love that.

yes yes yes portraying sirius’ trauma as something that still affects him all these years later even when he knows he’s safe and far away from it was soooo important to me when writing this, i’m so glad that came across 🫶 trauma never leaves us, even when we work to heal from it and learn to cope with it. it was v v crucial to me to make sure i did justice to his story and helped put him on the road to trusting and breaking the cycle of isolation he’s always found himself stuck in. bby deserves to know he’s loved and cherished and good.

i got SOOOOO carried away w the kissing but i couldn’t stop. they just kept going. it was entirely out of my control. honestly it will be a miracle if this fic remains at an M rating bc they are absolute feral animals for each other & once they get going there’s nothing i can do to stop them

james finally atoning for his chapter 4 crimes 🫶 we love to see it. he is so brother. best boy 🤲

i’m so so glad you enjoyed the chapter 🫶🫶 can’t wait for you to read 7!!!

[acaiasahi]

ty for the tag, j! @minheeology

three favorite solo artists?

[ 001. ] — jo yuri

[ 002. ] — hoody

[ 003. ] — bibi

five favorite bg/ggs?

[ 001. ] — treasure

[ 002. ] — cravity

[ 003. ] — le sserafim

[ 004. ] — atbo

[ 005. ] — newjeans

top five favorite mvs?

[ 001. ] — tippy toes ; xg

[ 002. ] — do 4 me ; epex

[ 003. ] — hype boy ; newjeans

[ 004. ] — aju nice ; seventeen

[ 005. ] — do it like this ; p1harmony

top three leaders?

[ 001. ] — keeho ; p1harmony

[ 002. ] — hyunsuk + jihoon ; treasure

[ 003. ] — junseok ; atbo

how many albums do you have?

— as of rn, i have 40 albums! (giving loser frfr) i'm gonna buy xdh's new album "overload", atbo's "the beginning", cravity's "new wave", and le sserafim's "antifragile" when i get paid this upcoming week LMAO

do you share/have a close birthday with any idols?

i actually have hella... but i'm gonna do groups that i know LOL

— oneus ; hwanwoong. gidle ; soyeon. ciipher ; dohwan.

fancy date w/ bias or at home date w/ bias wrecker?

— bro... that's so hard bc my bias is asahi + junseok but... my bias wrecker is... rakwon so wtf am i gon do now... um i'd probs choose an at home date bc i'm a homebody, i don't rly like to go out and interact w ppl so it's right up my alley!!! also rakwon is just so cute... i wanna marry him... pls sir, ur hand in marriage? i will treat u like a kin- sorry... got carried away!!! 😨

mvs or live performance?

— tbh, can't rly pick bc i love both!! mvs help give me a visual on what the song looks like... if that makes sense while as a dancer, i like to see live performances and see their formations, solos, dance breaks, etc. so i'm fs picking both lolz

favorite album + song of your group?

— the first step: treasure effect is my absolute favorite album but my favorite song is on the second step ep which is "u"!

three favorite maknaes?

[ 001. ] — seongmin ; cravity

[ 002. ] — won bin ; atbo

[ 003. ] — yejun ; e'last

rap or vocal line?

— i gotta choose vocals, idk it's what got me into kpop in the first place like ur tryna tell me that choa didn't put her whole poosay in like a cat??? GTFOOOOO U ABOMINATION!!!!

what song got you into kpop?

— miniskirt ; aoa <3 (fr missing 2015-16 kpop rn ☹️)

album you have on repeat?

— def has to be atbo's the beginning. i really like how each song is different but also in the same category, like the songs come tgt and just make sense. i also really love antifragile + newjeans's ep!!! hybe girls know how to gobble up the whole stage, made sure there were no crumbs, plate's licked clean, silverware alr back in the drawer, table alr cleared like these girls know how to make mf sing n dance!!!!!!!

if you were in a kpop group, what positions would you have?

— main vocalist, lead dancer, + maknae or within the maknae line <3 (if anyone is into shifting pls let me know bc i wanna talk abt but idk if anyone's into it plssss)

tagging: @wooahaes @sunoo-bby @wyynn @tyungun @tranquilpetrichor @m1ssluvyoobot @bruh-changbin @i-luvsang @sseastar-main + anyone who'd like to join! <3

[moomoomooing]

same anon as before (you already know who i am but i'm shy to slide into your dm's :3c)

same tho!! i love mamamoo but i don't really stan any group outside of svt. i used to keep up with tbz too but it's tiring, i can barely can keep up with svt nowadays. and was also there when skz and atz debuted but i was never too interested in them? because i'm not that into dark concepts but there are a few songs that i like. i just happen to have a friend who is a rlly big fan of those two, and she's trying to get me into them while i try to get her into svt and twst haha.

i also recently met someone who also likes twst and svt and we were discussing wich dorm each member would go to, what do you think about that? i've already started drawing a few, i want to do all but 13 is a lot of people q.q slowly but surely...

as for lolita fashion i like to wear it but it's expensive so my wardrobe is very small,, so yeah, meanwhile the best i can do is draw it fjkskd.

anyway you don't really have to answer this sorry aa i kind of just rambled abt myself so maybe you don't want to have it in your blog, if you want to chat we can move to dm's but !! idkidk

ID LOVE TO CHAT!!!!! and youre so big brained the svt members in twst dorms simply MUST BE DISCUSSED (feel free to slip into my dms anytime~~~)

hmm without thinking too much abt it- here are my assignments

cheol is in savanaclaw LOOK AT HIM? my competitive bby

hannie is in octavinelle OR pomefiore cause lord is he beautiful- but i think leaning octavinelle (im not double checking my spellings lmao)

shua is pomefiore imo, hes tricky but also def has the pomefiore vibes that outweigh octavinelle yk?

jun i feel more savanaclaw but he also has kalim scarabia vibes going for him

hoshi same as jun but im kin assinging him to kalim, hes also pp cunning when he wants to be (dont lie) so scarabia it is

wonwoo hes big diasmonia vibes, hes vv mysterious exclusively to ppl who dont know him lmao, hes a big fan of the rain around diasmonia, real vibey

woozi, now i wanna say pomefiore for some reason but hes gotta go to scarabia to match hoshi, the jamil to kalim is you will (without all the murderous intent)

mingyu absolutely savanaclaw. no doubt abt that

minghao, pomefiore for sure, the boy loves his fashion!

dk a ray of sunshine who competes with the kalim status hmmmmmm truthfully i can see him in both savanaclaw or scarabia (ill necer recover from when he got buff)

vernon he also has diasmonia vibes, less serious tho and more silly

seungkwan HES EITHER POMEFIORE OR HEARTSLABYUL (NO ONES IN HEARTSLABYUL YET)

dino- if seungkwans in pomefiore or heartslabyul dino is also there with him, theyre a pair do not separate pls

honestly i cant reallly think of too many of em being in heartslabyul, but reallt vernon could also follow kwannie and dino into whatever dorm and it still fits www

[iicaru2]

God I actually had to look for the dead apple novel everywhere because nobody had it listed online, and then after many ad pop ups on a suspicious website, I finally had it (+ every other published novel). I’m a master at finding shit online.

Anyway, Akutagawa is my fav and I bawl out tears thinking about the discussion of abuse, Nurture Vs Nature, and how much nuance is involved in writing it. The devastation thinking about his relationship with Dazai, and just how uncomfortable my body feels in reaction. Asagiri really knows how to not sugar coat anything. It makes me so sad that people find him annoying, completely disregard his story, or find him boring. My bby 😞💔

yesss akutagawa is my special boy (if that wasn’t already obvious) and my highest kin (🚩🚩) so, naturally, he’s my favourite character and oh boy does he hurt me in so many ways. i choose to focus on atsushi in the majority of my fics because his trauma and reactions to it also get ignored pretty heavily, or his ptsd gets called “annoying” (which, ow, on a personal level), but whenever i do focus on aku i go absolutely HAM on making sure nobody forgets what he’s been through because it is so important to me. the whole point of an abuse chain/generational trauma is that no one who is a part of it is fully absolved of blame. the pm chain in particular went mori -> dazai -> akutagawa -> kyouka— and no one besides kyouka (who broke the chain of abuse herself, and is stronger than all of them for that) is completely blameless.

ofc i blame mori heavily for supposedly starting it (and yk, i hate him). knowing that dazai was also abused makes it easier to understand him and sympathize, but it does not make what he did to akutagawa okay. just like how knowing the way akutagawa was treated makes it easier to sympathize, it doesn’t make what he did to kyouka okay in the slightest. i totally support blaming mori for everything lmao, but mostly in a joking way. i think it’s extremely important to acknowledge that people need to be held accountable for their actions— the fact that they (being dazai & akutagawa, in this case) were abused was wrong and unfair, and i love them both as characters very much, but i need people to also be able to recognize that they’ve done bad shit too and it wasn’t alright.

asagiri portrays this (generational trauma, ptsd, the need for approval from one’s abuser despite loathing them for what they did) extremely well, and i absolutely love and appreciate how real and honest it is about how people are not black and white and how complex situations like that are. (and if you couldn’t tell, this is like my FAVOURITE thing to talk about. akutagawa my absolute beloved🩷)

[shintorikhazumi]

How To Grow A Family Tree|Chapter 1: Plant A Little Seed Called Love

A/N: Ooh~ My second genshin fic. Please don’t sue me for the bad writing ;-; I just wanna brainrot, yknow? 

I must be an idiot for writing a new fic. I’ll get back to Teyvat sad girls in a bit.

AU where almost everyone’s family who passed in canon is alive. Except Sara’s biological fam. Sorry bby. Oh and maybe Ei’s parents cause who are they. Basically Sara meets the (future) in-laws. Kinda mixed modern fantasy (because they keep their non human traits) stuff ig.

This one’ll be eimikosara yeet~

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

 Chapter 1: Plant A Little Seed Called Love

Sara had never known love.

No, not when she’d been orphaned at an age where she barely remembered a thing. Not when she’d been taken in, only to be constantly shut out of a ‘family’ that could not make it any clearer that they wanted nothing to do with her unless it was to turn her into their profit-earning horse.

When she’d been given a name, she almost thought she’d know love; but even that was a misconception on her part.

Sara did not know love. Not when her father seemed to take pleasure in the constant ‘discipline’ he dished out on her: small slaps on the wrists, kneeling for hours on grainy sand from sunrise ‘til nightfall, shoveling snow, chopping wood, learning all forms of martial arts for hours on end before coming home to study until her candles were all out of wax, leading to her sleeping on the thin mat with equally thin blankets keeping her alive throughout the night.

No, she knew not love. Not when her brothers had spared her no moment of attention, affection, or siblingship. Not when Masahito forbade her from ever using the dojo while he was around and never speaking a word to her ever. Not when Kamaji hadn’t even invited her to his own wedding. Sara was fifteen, for crying out loud, and they had been living in the same house at the time!

(She remembered sobbing silently to herself as she spent the night of the supposed reception alone, poring over high school examination results that her father deemed not good enough and were up for review.)

She knew not love when she noticed them walking in on one of her ‘penalty sessions’ with her father, and felt her heart shatter into shards that tore at her from within when they turned a blind eye and walked away, closing the door behind them.

 Kujou Sara had not known love.

At least not until she’d been adopted into her best friend’s home at seventeen, Ayaka no longer being able to stomach the stories Sara would unwittingly share when she was too tired out to evade Ayaka’s very leading line of questions from time to time. That and Ayaka had caught Sara in a nightmare once, and from what Yoimiya had later told her, the little heiress had turned restless for many a night thinking about Sara’s predicament. She had searched countless ways and tried numerous methods of convincing until her parents finally saw for themselves and agreed that it was too dangerous for Sara to be left in that house.

The Kamisato family had always been disgusted by the Kujous, so much so that they had initially not wanted Ayaka anywhere near the youngest daughter of the clan, even shunning Sara from their door the first time Ayaka had invited her over despite being known as a welcoming and nonjudgmental family.

It could have been an overreaction, but it was just that difficult to give Kujou Takayuki and any of his kin the benefit of the doubt.

But then Ayaka begged and pleaded, and a toothy-grinned Yoimiya tried to bribe them with custom fireworks, and surprisingly, even Thoma quietly requested Ayato and the Kamisato parents to give Sara a chance to just come in, sit with them and… be.

 They should have not been able to trust a Kujou.

But Kujou Sara… she was sweet, and lovely, and an awkward, clumsy little thing. She was overly courteous, spoke stiffly like a soldier, but was clearly very kind. Earnest and genuine, Ayaka knew her parents had fallen in love (if Sara eating at their house three times a week despite the Kujou clan’s known strictness was any indicator. Ayaka did not know how her parents got permission to whisk Sara away, though she was glad they did).

So when Sara showed up at their doorstep at half-past three in the morning, battered and bruised, the skin over her eye bloodied shut; when they had discovered the surprising treasure that was Sara’s heritage, cruelly marred, tattered, and tainted- Ayaka and Miss Kamisato had shed tears at the state of her supposedly majestic wings- the family knew enough was enough.

It took all of Thoma’s power to rip the sword out of Ayato’s clenched hands before the men of the house rushed for the police station to have the Kujou’s apprehended and possibly sentenced to long, long years in hell.

 Her adoption was surprisingly quick, and without much problem, possibly due to the large influence of the Kamisatos in general.

A few hiccups were met on the road, but then… finally, then. Sara knew love.

She knew love the moment she woke up past her usual hellish five-AM wake up call to her new sister who greeted her good morning from the opposite end of their now-shared room, who brushed her crazy morning bedhead before handing her a fluffy pair of slippers, gently taking her by the hand and leading her down the stairs for breakfast.

Kamisato Kayo had once more cried for the child Sara could not be as she tried to tell the girl that it was okay for her to eat at the table with everyone, at the same time, just as they always did when Sara came over for dinners. No, she did not have to ‘serve’ them their meals and wait for them to finish first. No, she was not ‘unworthy’ of seating at the ‘master’s table’.

She tried not to let the young tengu see her tears when she’d been told that her favorite breakfast food was onigiri, and nothing could compare. Well, because she had nothing to compare it to.

Thoma and Kayo had prepared her so many items that morning that Ayaka had complained for Sara that she would get bloated if they kept piling more food onto the overwhelmed girl’s plate.

Yes. Sara knew love when breakfast was mixed with warm miso soup and a mother’s affection.

Sara knew love when each time she’d have to head out to anywhere with Ayaka or Thoma, someone would bid her farewell by the door. When it was Mrs. Kami- her mother (Sara had to get used to that), she’d always be sent off with a lingering hug and a kiss to the forehead for safety.

She always did feel the effect was true, believing it even more every time she was able to return to that warmth unscathed.

 Sara knew love when she finally returned to school and heard no whispers nor rumors about her despite the obvious public trial her formed adoptive father had for more crimes than the ones committed against her.

Maybe it was because someone had kept people’s mouths shut around her, or everything was simply drowned out by the sunshine of Yoimiya’s presence as she tackled her and welcomed her back before taking her to morning archery practice.

 Sara knew love when she finally mustered up the courage to befriend the clever Miss Kuki from her class after much encouragement from Yoimiya and Ayaka. Sara had grown up with an appreciation for dioramas, and how perfect the world in them seemed to be compared to her own shabby and grey one.

When Miss Kuki had brought one such well-crafted piece for a school event, Sara had yearned to befriend her and have her teach a thing or two.

With time and much-needed help, Sara managed to strike up a conversation with the shorter girl, who, by their next meeting, had given Sara a package the size of a shoebox.

Upon opening it, Sara had bolted toward the restrooms, gift caught by the giver, and worry on all her friends’ faces. They had given chase and found her crying in a stall, muttering apologies and thank you’s.

“M-m-my s-sincerest apologies, Miss K-Kuki… I was just a little… overwhelmed.”

Her friends collectively heaved sighs of relief as they waited for her to calm down before returning to the classroom to appreciate the gorgeous diorama of one beautiful crow in the prettiest Sakura garden Sara had never visited. (Shinobu claimed it existed and would take her there someday if she wanted.)

 Sara knew love when she came home and shakily showed her new parents her imperfect test results: a ninety-eight, and got the firmest hug and many, many kisses on the head for it. She was called brilliant, a good child.

“Thank you for working so hard, Sara. We love you.”

Sara cried for the love she got to know.

 A/N: There will be chapter 2 because SARA WILL HAVE A BIG BIG FAMILY, JUST WATCH ME. YES. I’M BITTER ABOUT KAMAJI. NO LOOK, I’M ALL FOR KUJOU SIBLING FLUFF AND SOLIDARITY, and I was super hopeful during Ei’s story quest when we met kamaji. But the times he talked about the “Kujou family” he only kept mentioning his dad or masahito, and never Sara. Like…??? Hello? :<

I’ll probably make a sweeter Kujou fam story in the future.

Ciao for now~

~Shintori Khazumi

[diagonal-queen]

thungo thursday: oh god bones please don't fuck this up

manga spoilers for this one boys

gotta love how teruko was FULLY ready to murder atsushi no issue but now she's like 'gimmie a piggyback SLAVE'

also atsushi always going like 'im a tiger not a cat' does he??? not know?? that tigers????? are just big cats????

atsushi is incompatible with gay sadists (including but not limited to yosano, akutagawa, kouyou, teruko)

nevermind lol

OMG KENJI AND TECCHOU 1V1 LETS GOOOOOOOO

okay i love tecchou, he's a great character, and so is jouno. but seeing kenji get hurt in any capacity fills me with a mighty rage and now i think tecchou deserves at least one passionate backhand from yours truly

BABY ATSUSHI NOOOOOOOOO

YESSSS GET FUCKED TECCHOU (i love you but like if i really had to choose between you and kenji...it's a no brainer babe)

also i'm legit like kenji fr. i couldn't give a shit if people like try to hurt me or whatever im like ok, but if anyone tries to hurt my friends i get unbelievably pissed about it and genuinely will throw hands

FUCK yeah they actually did kenji right. i was so worried about how they would animate this lmao but they actually did it properly good job bones

omg tecchou it literally doesn't matter if jouno would have wanted you to save him. the fact is that you tried to do it anyway and that speaks volumes (YOU'RE GAY YOU'RE A FUCKING QUEER)

you have to wonder if kenji admires chuuya in part due to the fact that he understands the difficulty behind CHOOSING to be nice when you're actually hated by the world and full of rage because of it. fuck maybe i kin kenji more than i thought. i also am one of those people who doesn't care if someone hurts me but if they hurt my loved ones i get fully pissed and will throw hands

KENJI AND TECCHOU'S FRIENDSHIP IS SO WHOLESOME OMGGGGG also did tecchou really not know the names of the detective agency? maybe that information was withheld from the hunting dogs in order to get them to subconsciously dehumanise the agency, so they wouldn't be swayed by the agency's efforts to prove their own innocence as easily...then again jouno recognised kunikida immediately so mayb not...

i love how sigma was called a three year old by dazai and he just...didn't react. no 'i'm not three years old' or 'technically i'm an adult', just -_-

FYODOR DUCKING TO GET UNDER THE DOOR WHILE CHUUYA JUST WALKS THROUGH LMAOOOOO

LMAOOOOOOO SIGMA BBY HE'S SO EASILY SWAYED (me too bub.) BABY YOU'RE ALREADY WAY SUPERIOR TO FYODOR. also dazai saying 'he's the atsushi kun type' bro i know. they're two of my top three bsd kins. I'M the atsushi kun type. also sigma looks so cute when he's thinking so hard i wanna boopdesnoot

why the fuck did they animate fyodor to be like 'chuuya san!' in the most babygirl voice ever, they even gave him emotions and everything wtf

'the walls are anti-gifted' ARE THEY ANTI ARAHABAKI THOUGH (don't come for me i havent fully read 15 or stormbringer i dont know if arahabaki is an ability or not im maKING A JOKE GUYS ITS A FUCKING JOKE!!!)

not the cutesy wink dazai oh my fucking god stop trying to rizz up sigma real quick and JUST KILL FYODOR

oh yeah are they ever gonna fucking explain timestopper catgirl?? she was there for like two seconds and then she was offed by fyodor once he escaped the water. like???? huh???? WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT BESIDES THE VERY LAZY PLOT DEVICE?????? also she looks like a mha character i think people have already said this but she doesn't belong here she belongs in mha

how do mersault prisoners go peepee and poopoo

OH MY GOD THEY DID IT RIGHT!!!!!!! THEY DID IT PROPERLY!!!! YESSSSSSS

'goodbye' MAMORU MIYANO YOU DESERVE THE WORLD FOR THAT YOU LEGENDARY MAN I WANT TO KISS YOU ON THE LIPS YOU'RE THE MAN EVER

aya is smarter than i'll ever be how on earth does she think of this stuff. you go girl i cant wait for you to save the world

she doesn't take ANY of bram's bullshit she's just amazing

how did bram grow back his eye

bram when aya normally: aya you foolish peasant smh ur dumb bram when aya is in danger: 😰😰😰😱😱💥💥💥 😠😠😠😠😠

well that was a ride! im stuffed. i might need to pull a bram and take a nap. i feel bad for the anime onlys who now think chuuya's dead yikes yall