#my mom everyone

[reggies-fake-horcrux]

I need to share this conversation between my mom and I, I think it's life changing

me: oh there's a stink bug on my arm

my mom: timothee chalamet is on your arm??! omg ask him if he wants to play basketball

me: yeah, oh shit he's leaving! it's probably because I called him a mean name

my mom: timothee chalamet? yeah, that was mean

me: ...no I meant stink

my mom: oh

me: ...

my mom: ...

me: do you think timothee chalamet would be stinky like Matthew McConaughey

my mom: no, I think he takes 3 showers a day

[thefact0rygirl]

Yo are those Russian painkillers still available?^^ no but seriously. Are feeling better? Trip over?

lmfaoooo trip over but i still have a dull headache 😭

but ya'll

i asked my mom what it was and her response was, "wait. which one did you take? what do you mean you don't remember? why do you just take pills without questioning it???"

💀💀💀 because i didn't meet you at a party, mom

[lychniis]

sometimes i wonder why i have the insurmountable urge to wake up in the middle of the night to go bother someone with my musings or requests. i question where i got it from and what part of my genes are so fucked up.

then i remember the number of times my mom woke me up at one in the morning to sing musical soundtracks with her.

so yeah guys...it's genetic.

[ratsbanes]

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

[jsdjsidjsj]

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

[sadclowncentral]

What uh. What's the frog story 👀

back when i was in second grade, my elementary school organised a school market with every class selling their crafts for charity. the contribution of my class were hand-sized ceramic frogs we made in art class. each one of us made one of them to be sold for five euros a piece (this is important later). the quality of the frog i made varies drastically based on who is telling the story, and for reasons that will become very apparent later there is no way to check, but i stand by the fact that it was average looking, if a bit wonky.

the day of the market arrived, and all frogs were bought within minutes, snatched up by enthusiastic and proud parents. all except - mine. because my mother hates spending money on unnecessary things, and she hates children's crafts even more. so she - loudly and vehemently - refused, in her thick eastern european accent, to "spend five euros on an ugly frog".

i will never forget seeing my ceramic frog alone on the slightly wet cardboard, surrounded by the imprints left behind by the already sold frogs. all the while other parents are getting more and more agitated, trying to get my mother to put the frog out of its misery. eventually, she budged, and spend five euros on a wonky frog. she was absolutely furious about this.

so furious, in fact, that when we came home to where my father was remodelling the kitchen, she WALLED IT IN. that's right. she cask of amadillo'd that poor ceramic fool. put him into the open wall and slapped concrete over it faster than my poor seven year old self or my dad could protest. out of pure anger over loosing five euros. and that's where it remains, until this day.

my mom hates when this story is brought up, which is why we bring it up all the time. she also thinks she what she did was right, because "do the other parents know where the frog is? no. only your creation is safe. because i love you." morally, i would disagree, but on a pure factual basis, she has a point.

i made her another ceramic frog for her last brithday, which was not buried like some pharaoh, and everytime guests compliment it my brother loudly goes "oh you should see the other frog he made" and when they ask to see it, he points at the wall. this is hilarious to him and infuriating for my mother. and that's the frog story.

[extrashortshorts]

Do you ever wonder... what is going on up there...

[a-corndog-named-schibbs]

The further I get into rebels, the more I realize that Hera Syndulla is only the voice of reason among the Ghost crew by default.

Like, this woman is not normal. She could have anybody in the galaxy and she went for a wanted criminal with superpowers. She ran away from her family's palatial mansion to go live in a camper with said criminal boyfriend. Her job experience includes "getaway driver" and that's it. Some punk tried to steal from her and she immediately went "where are the adoption papers, I'm ready to sign". The only reason Hera seems normal is because her family consists of a kleptomaniac, a pyromaniac, a man who spent the first fifteen years of his life in a monastery and the next fifteen years of his life getting drunk, a mass murderer trapped in the body of a trash bin, and a guy who probably lists aggravated assault as a hobby on his Grindr profile.

Hera is the most reasonable member of the Ghost crew. Which is kind of like being the tallest Ewok.

[bakudekublogblog]

kacchan telling izuku that his body moved on his own is fucking crazy. like not only did kacchan remember izuku saying that all the way back from the sludge-villain incident but he’s also confirming that izuku’s crazy, boarder-line suicidal intensity is a two way street. it’s not just izuku who is insane about kacchan it’s mutual insanity. kacchan’s body moved on its own. he was helpless but to throw himself into the line of fire when he saw izuku was in danger. he didn’t think about it. he didn’t choose to do it. he didn’t have a choice. it was as if izuku was a piece of his own soul. katsuki instinctually needed to protect him above all else, even at the cost of his own life

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 266

Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train. 

See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person. 

And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right! 

And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically. 

The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten. 

How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss. 

Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings. 

The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine. 

They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk! 

And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves. 

Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life? 

Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son? 

…

Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good. 

[egophiliac]

oh, uh, this...this isn't Silver's backstory after all.

[bookalicent]

yeah so this was insane

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with