#my motivation to draw has been really low recently

[pine-arten]

sorry for not posting much art. i’ve been working on things. it’s taking a while so i decided to show you guys some previews of these wips

first image is going to be my version of @pansear-doodles ‘s arena thing second image is going to be region cards of PIV’s regions

there’s been a heatwave and it reached 90 degrees fahrenheit (30 in celsius) (this is abnormal for this time of year where i live) so it’s been killing my motivation to do anything

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[cinnamonsly]

so i am in the middle of a pretty terrible art block rn unfortunately. and i don’t rly have anything to show for it. i’m trying to get out of it but the motivation to draw is still just …. rly low

however! this has given me an opportunity to work on another one of my hobbies!!! a year or so ago i got rly into making friendship bracelets and as of recently i’ve gotten a lot better at it!! here’s some ones i’ve finished in the past month or two

anyway. i think they’re pretty cool and really fun to make. and i’m slowly getting better at making them!! it has been fun to see my progress lately!

sorry for the filler post!! thought i might as well show y’all what i’ve been doing haha i’ll try 2 keep working my way out of this art block tho! thanks for sticking around !!

[rampantram]

I've been saving this but I can't take it anymore... your art is super cool!! I love the drawing style you have, especially the lines and expressions. Also the dynamic poses and interactions between characters, everything looks so cute but at the same time exciting to keep watching!! I would read a whole manga with your art in it :3

Curious question: what size are your drawings normally? I see that you draw in pencil and many times there is more than one drawing on a single canvas/sheet so I am curious to know approximately the size of your drawings

I hope you don’t mind me using your ask to say this, but…you guys have no idea how much your kindness and positivity has affected me since I started posting my CotL stuff.

I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid, and depression for almost a decade now, and most recently been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. I’ve had the most lows in my life over the past few years, and my consistency and drive to draw has suffered for it; at most, I’ve posted every other week, but mostly once every couple of months, and even longer than that until now. Being on medication has affected my motivation to draw, and I’ve been on short-term disability for over a month now, trying out new medications and feeling mostly miserable from the side effects.

Despite all that, I’ve wanted truly to finally be consistent with art, interact with people, try new things, and it’s helped so much to have so many people loving the things I’ve come up with. I haven’t been as consistent this last week, and spotty some weeks before that, but you’ve all been so patient despite that, which is part of the reason I want to give you some transparency and vulnerability on my part.

So I apologize if things continue to be a little less than organized or consistent, but I’m going to keep trying my best everyday, because I want to keep bringing you things you enjoy and want to interact with, so…thank you. 🥹

But getting to your question before I really start to tear up…this 9x12 sketchbook by Strathmore (specifically the recycled paper) is what I’ve been using for my sketches for a long while:

And it typically depends on how big or small I think each of the drawings should be, but I do try to keep them on one page if I can just for organizations’s sake.

Also if I know I need to post it from my phone, I try to make things easier for myself by putting things within proximity of each other with my phone’s camera in mind (not the whole page because it’ll be blurry, up and down since that’s easier for me to take a shot with, and so on).

If I’m gonna scan it, that makes things a bit easier, but I do try to condense them enough so I can try and avoid doing two scans of the same page and having to stitch them together (this one below just ended up taking the whole page, and since most scanners - my roommate’s included - usually only scan Letter or A4 size areas, those I end up having to scan on multiple parts and edit them together in Clip Studio Paint).

But of course, it all comes down to what feels right or works with your own method the best (as long as you achieve the outcome you wanted, the tools and method to get there don’t necessarily have to be the “best” or “right” way to do it).

I hope this helps, though, and that you have a brilliant day~✨

[palettepainter]

Going on a wee break

Sorry for the lack of actual art/stories as of late. As I mentioned in a post from a few days ago, me and my family have recently returned from a small holiday and my birthday passed on the 22nd. While they both ended up being enjoyable experiences, birthdays in the last few years have not been the easiest things for me to hype myself up for, and I'm also someone who struggles to sleep in new environments so my scleep schedule - though usually a bit all over the place - has been pretty rough as I've been readjusting to being home

Outside of art, my journey to getting an autism diagnosis has been making small but steady progress. I've sought out the help from an Autism Specialist Strategy Coach who was also the first person I ever spoke to about mental health, they along with one other person are going to be writing a letter to my doctor which, alongside certain mannerisms and routines I have lived with my whole life, will hopefully be enough for me to get a diagnosis. I'm hoping to also try and get one for depression, as the fact my doctor mentioned in our last phone call that it could be a possibility makes it feel like it's worth looking into further

With that going on in the background August is also just a generally busy month for my family, with two other family birthdays only a week apart and my parents Wedding Anniversary it's a very demanding month.

I've been left on my own while my parents and siblings go out to hang out with friends or to have dinner with friends and that also has been pretty upsetting. Not the fact that they're going out with friends, but more so the fact that it feels like, in a way, I'm missing out. As you can likely guess it's left me with very low motivation for work and has left me feeling overly critical of my writing

It's very likely I'll be both drawing and writing in my free time, because I am being honest when I say that is literally all I do outside of work and has all I've really ever done, but I don't feel up to posting anything currently. I can't make promises and say I'll be working on the things you all voted to see next from me (Penny and Lazer's parent and the next chapter of Fever) and I can't guarantee when I'll next post

This of course does not include commission work as that's paid work and I don't want to keep those who have made a purchase waiting

[silverxcristal]

a question! what is the best artistic works you have done ,in your opinion?

Ooo interesting question! I think 2023 had been a good year for me when it comes to art. Slower than usual but in a steady and happy pace

ArtFight was fun this year! I like to draw multiple characters in one place and I got to do it with two Splatoon attacks (First beans are from @msmoon-and-the-cyberdemon and the second ones from @d0llyrat)

I drew the Fanverse anniversary, that one was fun!! I love the end result and makes me happy how many people liked it too! Feels nice

(I actually have a Halloween CPU illustration ready since September, I think it looks amazing in my opinion. I'll post it soon, probably on the 30th)

Speaking of halloween- I love Tails doll and I love that I got to do 2 patreon exclusive illustrations with her. Sadly I can't show them here because they are not public, but I think they look pretty nice. The 2022 one has a lot of perspective angles and 2023 is the shadows and textures

I discover I can do (?) this "experimental" type of illustration that remind me a lot of how I used to fill sketchbooks in every space I had and color it no matter if the drawings clashed with each other. I've done 3 of this so far, the Springtrap one and two patreon exclusives (splatoon and animal crossing)... I like the Splatoon one a lot, is still not public but DAMN I hope it ages well

Ohh and crab island... that thing was in wip hell for a WHOLE YEAR due drama and low motivation to draw the AR, but im happy I got to finish it before hitting the hiatus

Recently I updated my carrd and added a Portfolio section where I show some illustrations I really like, Im trying to update it with new art every 2 months with newer art!!!

Im trying to keep the art as recent as possible on purpose jkalshdkjsadsa I have favorite pieces Ive done that are WAAAAY old that didnt age well, but I like them over nostalgia or bc im sentimental

But yeahh- good year this year so far

[emlaux]

Bakugo and Kirishima

Honestly I know this one looks a bit off compared to my other posts but my motivation to draw has been really low recently, as I have a lot of other stuff going on in life. When things get less stressful I'll start posting more often again (and with better art lol)

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - April 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@elf-punk -

Other SM names? - Discord: crumblemoon, AO3: queen_karnilla

OTP? - Destiel all the way

Other fandoms? - Doctor who, Dune, Harry Potter, Marvel (Loki specifically), Sandman

Looking for in the Pond? - Mainly to meet and hang out with other SPN fans, and share/read fanfic and headcanons! Nothing super specific.

Pairings you read? - Reader inserts/OC mainly involving spn angels (michael and cas are my favourites!)

Genres you read? - Romance, friends/enemies to lovers, angst with a resolution, all things fluffy! Will read smut as part of a longer romantic narrative, but not for the sake of it.

What do you like to write? - Reader-inserts/OC, introspectives and character studies

Masterlist!

@jinkieswouldyoulookatthis -

Other SM names? - Discord: jackiefour, AO3: jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

OTP? - Wincest (Sam/Dean)

Looking for in the Pond? - Just looking to strengthen ties with the general fandom community and it's always nice to have other writers/readers to talk with.

Pairings you read? - SamDean in all its variations, either of the brothers/reader together or separate is good too.

Genres you read? - Angst, smut, crackfics are my preferred, although some fluff is nice and appreciated too. The trope doesn't matter as much to me as the overall quality of the writing.

Favorite writer(s)? - Gah, too many amazing writers to narrow it down to a favorite, but @applecrumbledore, @dyed-red, leonidaslion, candle_beck, deadlybride immediately spring to mind.

What do you like to write? - Currently been writing wincest (SamDean) but I used to write reader inserts for both of the boys.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Probably this one because it's a body swap/gender bend with low key non-con elements to it (so I get why it doesn't get as much love as some of the others): Make A Wish

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? -I am currently working on my first long fic, just getting going on it and am a little intimidated by the scope, but I don't deal with deadlines or anything like that well, so I'm hoping that just being around other people writing and talking about writing will help keep me motivated to finish it. Basically, I'm just looking for passive motivation and community.

@i-already-know-im-going-2-hell / @aceing-on-the-cake -

Other SM names? - AO3: i_already_know_im_going_to_hell

OTP? - Honestly I think Wincestiel can't be beat when it's done well, best of both worlds

Other fandoms? - I enjoy a lot of fandoms but to be honest I'm really only making content (writing and drawing) for supernatural.

Looking for in the Pond? - Honestly I'm just looking to hang around, meet fellow writers and artists, and pick up tips and tricks along the way. I find I'm motivated so much more when I have others around me who are just as into the things I'm into.

Something to signal boost? - Honestly the only thing I'm currently working on bigger project wise is a supernatural au I'm doing a lot of drawings for. This is the original post --Guineanatural-- and it has all the links in it towards currently running polls or completed artworks.

Pairings you read? - I'm a multishipper, I will read almost any pairing that's not parent/child honestly.

Genres you read? - Angst and Hurt/Comfort are my jam. Smut, fluff and crack are great if they're included, but I'm truly there for pain of angst and then the comfort that comes after.

Favorite writer(s)? - @applecrumbledore on AO3, is the author of one of my all-time favorite Dean/Sam fics I've ever read, Acid

What do you like to write? - Angst/Comfort with a whole lot of character analysis thrown in

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Unfortunately, my bane in life is to house more fic ideas in my head than I actually ever have a reasonable amount of time to write and to have crippling adhd caused executive dysfunction, which can truly only be fixed by Earth changing to a day cycle longer than 24 hours and absolutely using body doubles in any form I can take those. The first problem truly can't be fixed by mortal men unfortunately, but for the second honestly me just hanging around with other writers or seeing other writers work on things too helps to work as a body double for my brain a lot of the time. So honestly, just hanging in the server itself and following the tumblr should be plenty of help.

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!

[phyriaxi]

Another ask separate from my rq, are there any artists or other influences that have inspired your art that you'd like to share?

ohh boy, this is definitely a question I can ramble about (apologies in advance for the long text!!)

Short Answer (a list of lasting artistic influences):

Movies/animanga: How to Train Your Dragon, Avatar (not ATLA, sorry) , Evangelion, Pinch Point (by VLANCAT), Land of the Lustrous, Tower of God, CSM, Tokyo Ghoul, 86 EIGHTY-SIX

Games: Arknights, Cytus II (rip art team..), Honkai Impact 3rd, Destiny 2

artists/illustrators/animators: Shilin, Ishida Sui, yasutatsu, WOOMA, par0llel, suzumesakiii, Dino_illus, liduke, ligton1225, Curie Lu, 96yottea, many many others... I could write nearly every Arknights illustrator as well and still not be satisfied ..

Music: classical music, Ado, KIVA, Eve (the MVs..!), i think i need to stop listing things now because it'll never end

Long Answer (rambling):

when it comes to art, i am definitely inspired by other visual artists, but i am also very inspired by the world around me as well as creators of other types of media. i'm extremely lucky to have grown up in a lively, diverse city with a wonderfully creative family, so the art and music of my family and environment plays a large part in my artistic preferences!! Something I have really wanted to integrate more deeply into my art is the contrast between new and old, grungy and refined... it reflects a lot of the conflicts that make up what I consider to be "me." Also, I just really like the vibe of chaotic industrial zones and rusty metal combined with a shining city in the distance, lol.

Regarding particularly influential media: pretty much anyone who's taken a glance at my blog will know immediately that Arknights is one of my biggest influences. it's basically all i draw nowadays... whenever I'm not thinking about Responsibilities and Adult Life i'm usually thinking about either Arknights or Ado (<3).

before Arknights, I spent a long time drawing fanart and fan-characters inspired by How to Train Your Dragon. Both the visual and musical aspects of that series still have a very dear place in my heart, even if I don't engage much with the community anymore. I actually only really started drawing not-dragons about 3 or 4 years ago at this point. Something I have been thinking about a lot recently is how I can go back to drawing more creatures alongside my humanoid subjects, since it's not something I've done very much recently.

Gradually I began to find more friends in the art community, and I think I'm very influenced by those people as well! It isn't a competition, of course, but being around people who are also pushing to improve is a big motivator when I am feeling low on passion. "I want to stand together with them at the top of world one day", is how I often feel. I really want to work on a collaborative project with other artists someday as well. Trying to build my skill is partially because I want to better express my ideas, but also because I want to inspire and be inspired by other creators. :D I think my art has been evolving at a pretty good pace recently because of these motivators.. the friends and regulars (including you, burstfoot!!) that visit my blog regularly here really motivate me too!!

and lastly, I'm at a point in my life where I feel that if I can't get this art thing off the ground, I will probably have to give up on pursuing it properly soon... so it's partially desperation that is inspiring me to change and try new ways of expression as well :,]

[ thank you for the ask!! ]

[befemininenow]

The lucky 7 with over 1000+

About a year ago, I made my very first caption and since that first post, my blog has grown to over 400+ unique captions and more than thousands of likes and reblogs. With the low amounts of traffic that Tumblr has compared to other competing sites, I've never would have thought I would reach that level without your support. Yet, here I am, giving you guys and girls an occasional post.

Some of my older posts have been gaining traction for the past few weeks. Whether it's a reblog from me or from another fellow blog, it's a great feeling when I see a "forgotten" caption gain a renew of interest. But it feels even more unbelievable when a caption reaches a level you never thought was possible.

That being said, here are a few captions that have amassed over 1000+ likes and reblogs that I would like to share with you. Enjoy the post!

Number 7: Inspiring trans girls since forever

With over 1023+ likes and reblogs, this is a collection of pictures from transgender women who have been an influence for us. Some are well-known influencers and celebrities like Remi Richards and Kim Petras, others are occasional internet posters like Mikaela Ville and Michelle Alter, and some want to live normal like Ella Page. This collection is undeniably my favorite because they display actual trans women, hormones or not, and have been a few of my inspirations from growing up to right now.

Number 6: Remembering your first

My very first caption is from a well known drawing of a girl embracing her feminine side. It's a feel of ecstatic energy when you see your true self so happy looking back at you for the first time. With around 1,123+ likes and reblogs, it really resonates with a lot of people who love their femininity.

Number 5: Coming out the first time

With around 1,190+ likes and reblogs, this caption speaks volumes of how we react to our coming out. Due to current social stigma, many cisgender people often lump trans women as sissies, crossdressers, traps, and other unflattering names and slurs. The only thing we can do is to keep our heads up and walk out with grace. It's best to ignore with bigots like those, but it's also wise to keep an eye out.

Number 4: Desires

At around 1250+ likes and reblogs, this post surprised me the most! Although it was popular when I first uploaded it, it really didn't spike until recent reblogs were made! It seems that a lot of you also have a bit of gender envy, haha! But can I blame you? She's such a babe, it would be so much better being her than dating her, especially the nice rewards she will get on a nights' out. ;)

Number 3: Your fate is in those pills

*Note: This caption has since been flagged by Tumblr as "Mature". If you would like to see this caption, please set your filters to view this caption.

Bronze prize is the HRT post. At 1,279+ posts and reblogs, it's the third most popular post in my blog. This one was one of my first posts as you can tell by the font and the color scheme of the main caption. I'll be honest: I'm not really fond of it as I used to since it seems a little "sexualizing". To be fair, it was inspired by a caption I saw in an old "feminization hypnosis" video that is now gone. Still, that doesn't mean I fully regret making this caption as it gave me more motivation to improve my caption skills. I also remade this caption into a bunch of segments. If you like to check the remake, click on the link below:

Number 2: Simplicity is sexy

At exactly 1,350+ likes and reblogs, this caption takes the silver prize! It's incredible because this is one of several captions that resonated with a lot of you! I'm lowkey, happy that we have something in common.

I can't deny it is a sexy way of embracing femininity. All one needs is a pair of black leggings and a white tank top to appeal even the most normal of guys. Meanwhile, the women would definitely feel a sense of jealousy based on how a simple outfit compliments those curves of yours. Bonus if you have long black hair, but any haircut and hair color would do. Give this outfit a try and I'll guarantee you will feel so euphoric. I know from experience ;)

But as sexy as this caption is, this one was only a few numbers away from the crown, or tiara if you like being a princess. Before I unveil the ultimate winner, I want to share an honorable mention that may ring a bell for you:

Honorable mention: Once a boy, always a girl.

This one is less popular than the previous entries as it only has around 708+ likes and reblogs. So why is it ahead of the other one? Because the caption was reposted by a fellow blog with better exposure. In fact, I actually reblogged that post as a way of saying thanks. With the way blogs come and go, I don't really mind if my work gets reposted on several blogs. It's just a way of preserving a legacy if a blog disappears one day. Oh, and combining that repost with my upload, this caption has over 2,222 likes and reblogs!

Number 1: Coming out divine

If 3rd place questioned your decision, and 2nd place answered that affirmation, then 1st place is definitely well into your change. With over 1,367+ likes and reblogs, it is by far my most popular creation! This one was very difficult to make as it required a lot of editing from the original video, as well as making the GIF without a lot of slowdown. The end result came out better than I thought. A major plus what that it was a Vine video, which lasted less than 7 seconds. However, I am not planning on remaking this GIF for three reasons: I lost the original and edited files, it was a PITA to make, and I would rather not mess with finished perfection. If anything, I would just make the GIF bigger than it is.

You can take a guess why it's so popular. From her hot body, her sexy outfit, nice curves, and the way she sways and moves, she is goals! I definitely had gender envy and gender crush at the same time! Did I want to be her or to date her? To quote a period-correct meme, why not both? Btw, the woman in the GIF is... well, all I can say is she is one of Justin Bieber's exes and subsequently had minor hit song back a few years ago.

Here's to a complete year full of captions and shares! Thank you so much to all of you!

[coconox]

honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr

a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so

pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly

before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho

countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch

still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that

nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)

glb nocti's countdown

draw every char up to latest one in cn

a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now

basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely

will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things

ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.

if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀

pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked

theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol

[pxrplecxin]

“MAD!”

hey everyone! i know i’ve not posted much christmas stuff this season i promise i will make it up. but lately i’ve been very down with myself on who i am. growing up i’ve always been viewed as the weird kid and it was hard to make friends at points. i also started to develop depression a bit early in my childhood which led me to not have much social interactions for years. up until after quarantine i started to gain confidence in myself to start socializing. senior year me would shock freshman me seeing how much i’ve grown proud of myself and managed my depression enough to pull through.

now that i’m almost off on my own, noticing nothing in high school matters, and notice how much i bring comfort and belonging to people who are shy with showing themselves to others. a bit recently i dragged myself out of a low point (minor low point but still roughly had some emotional impact on me) that was caused by being called “weird” for being myself. with that experience it made me really motivated to make this and just dump all my craziness onto a canvas.

i made this drawing as an acceptance to myself for who i am as a person. although i learned more about my mental illnesses it made sense to why i am the way i am. i put so much effort and passion into this f*ck off statement that it felt greedy if i didn’t post a time lapse too!

my page has and always will be a safe haven for “weird kids” and will forever be owned by a fellow “weird kid” 💜

[kaeru-kobold]

Kaeru Kobold-Dear Tumblr #1

I finally decided what I'm going to do with this Tumblr Account! Aside from the typical reposts of my art, self-promotion and such, I'm going to use it primarily as a live, public diary of my adventure in Vtubing, streaming and content creation, so here goes my very first entry. I think I'm going to try to do this daily, at the very least I'll make one weekly and on big events.

Dear Tumblr,

it's currently 1:22 AM, 12/11/23. I've been interested in becoming a Vtuber for roughly a year now, and have slowly done tons of research, watched hours of Vtuber content for fun and advice, built up art and assets, came up with a new Sona design, customized models, and have spent hours upon hours of work making art and assets related to that goal. Boy they really don't tell you how much work it is to be a streamer/content creator, especially when you're broke and doing it all by yourself. Speaking of broke... I'm currently out of work, money is very low, and I'm very stressed out. I made the mistake of leaving my old job for a new one that I hoped would be a good opportunity, but I had to leave on day one for moral and public health reasons I won't get into. I have put in dozens of applications the last two weeks and have mainly only received automated emails; I have done 2 Zoom interviews for two different jobs, and then was never given a call or email back. My old job won't take me back for reasons beyond me. I admitted this in an OkayDonuts stream a day or so ago, and he said similar issues motivated him to start streaming. This gives me so much hope that I can have the great community and career success that he has that I so desire-If he could do it, so can I! Right? I just really like making stuff, I've always liked learning new techniques both physical and digital; crochet, clay sculpting, wood carving, painting, graphic design, 3D modelling/Texturing, game design. I wasn't good at much as a kid, but art was my passion, and the best part was seeing how happy it made other people. I just want to make cool things that make people happy and create a community of similarly creative people to share our passions and bring more kindness and cool creations into the world. I don't want to be an uber rich Mr. Beast level celebrity, I just want to make enough that I don't need a menial job I suffer at. Simply making a decent living in this world off my art would be a blessing, it would be so much better for my mental health. Speaking of which, if you're reading this....did you know I take commissions? Please commission me, I hungy :'( But seriously, as of writing this, I have $43.20 in my bank account. My phone bill alone is $45. My partner and I have family support, so we'll get by ok, but the struggle and having to ask for help is really getting to me. On the bright side, since we should count our blessings- I have a really nice microphone since my partner tried streaming a couple years ago and is letting me use it whenever I need! I have a really good laptop from my college days that can run everything I need without getting TOO overwhelmed. I have a really good drawing tablet that I bought a couple years ago when I was doing a little better financially (It's much easier to save money when you're living with your parents and work 40 hours a week for $13/hr and your parents pay for everything) Losing my job may be a blessing in disguise because In my stress I have gone into a manic state and began going crazy getting my custom stream Overlays done, fully animated Stream Opening, BRB and Closing Screens, stinger transition animation, a functioning PNGTuber, and multiple drawings/animations for alerts/emotes/rewards/etc. and yes that includes things I didn't know I needed to be a Twitch Affiliate to even use...lol...I'm currently working on an animated lore video for my debut that I will also record a voice-over for. Lastly, a more recent thing-My partner found a gamer chair in the dumpster at our apartment last week after I had spent a couple months trying to find one-the cheapest ones on Facebook Marketplace in our area were like $80-and it's in near perfect condition, only a bit of scuff/rip on the seat and arm rests. How crazy is that? I gave it a good scrub-down and its good to go. I choose to take that as a sign from the universe that I'm on the right path. Wish me luck! With lots of love, Kaeru Kobold

[melodraca]

your oc tag intrigues me

can I have some fun facts about kade I see that name a lot and kade seems great

sorry am awkward

Don't worry, you don't seem awkward at all! ^_^ But oh my gosh, I'm going to apologize in advance, because seeing an ask about any of my ocs makes me really happy and I may or may not start rambling a bit. Bear with me here...

Fun facts about Kade:

He's a character from a roleplay between me and my friend

We actually both agreed that he's our favorite character

He's bi

Kade started out in 2015 as a slightly humorous antagonist who was supposed to show up for one plot arc and then disappear forever

We liked him too much, so we brought him back as a side character with a redemption arc

We then liked him SO much that he became a main character

(He was a diamond amongst the trash of our terrible old writing)

He was kinda toxic, kinda manipulative, but also so cringe and sexy, he captivated us

He's like 6'5"+. A beanpole

He's one of our most intelligent characters

I wouldn't say he's got low wisdom necessarily, but his sense of humor is really dumb

He laughs at his own jokes

The first thing he did after being introduced was unsuccessfully attempt to make the lives of everyone around him worse (he didn't have a clear motivation for this)

He loves his cool, scary wife so so much

He started out as a part of a gang, which was initially supposed to add to his ~villainous intimidation factor~ but he was so universally disliked by this gang that it was just kind of sad

He attempted to leave and somehow ended up in an infinitely worse situation (mafia-esque crime organization)

The first thing he did in this organization was form a codepedant relationship with the boss's equally touch-starved and closeted son (Nic)

Their relationship is healthier now, but for a while they both sucked so much. They enabled each others issues, and Kade loved to make Nic mad on purpose

He's polyam, and he's been collecting partners like pokemon cards

His partners have a groupchat that they didn't let him join

He was crushing on his cool, scary wife (Mian) for almost a decade, but she was his bestie and he didn't want to ruin that in case she didn't feel the same way (she did, but the whole time she thought that she just REALLY liked him as a friend)

Still unironically says "epic" (me too)

He had so many vices and issues <3 he still has so many issues

I'm pretty sure he questioned his gender at one point, and he came to the conclusion that he was still cis, but in an Ascended kind of way

He's in his 40s by this point

He has kids, he's genuinely really sweet with them (also collects them like pokemon cards; most of them are adopted. He's not the step dad, he's the dad that stepped up)

Deals with gut-wrenching trauma :(

He almost caused a divorce because a bromance with one of his best friends (Tsubasa) got a little bit too gay

"He has a very punchable face," - a comment I once got on a drawing of him vaping

He has his stupid spiked collar insured

Ate a cigarette more than once

I think we canonized him being autistic shortly after I realized I was autistic, because too many things made a LOT of sense retrospectively

During his wedding vows, he asked the audience to give him a "hell yeah."

I imagine that he smells very subtly like weed and drugstore cologne

He went through a lot of personal growth. Had some issues with toxic masculinity, now he respects women soooo much

He has a special interest in horror films/shows/books/etc. He also just likes film in general

His other thing is math, and all of his partners hate it

I just think he's really neat :)

That's all I can think of off the top of my head rn 💀 but thank you again so much for asking!

Art by swagamicchi on twitter, me (old art, but I haven't drawn a lot recently. rip.), and frozenspoots on twitter

[kentuckycaverats]

Is it possible that you could share anything about Del? Anything at all, really. She both looks and sounds like an interesting character

absolutely it's possible, i love her with all my heart and want to talk about her literally all the time. del my beloved...

our chronicle is set in modern day edinburgh, scotland. del is japanese-american and has been in edinburgh about 7ish years at the start of the chronicle. she lives in the basement of a nighttime book shop owned by an old caitiff anarch and helps him run the place. she also co-owns a bar slash tea lounge with the rest of the coterie; a ravnos courier, lasombra nun, and brujah hacker.

her sire was her girlfriend first, then regnant--a camarilla toreador named sabina callister. she ghouled del against her will when del was 16 and grew more possessive and controlling over the span of about three years, eventually culminating in forcing del to watch as sabina drained del's mortal sister in front of her. del tried to take her own life in a desperate grab at freedom and that's when sabina embraced her. del diablerized her in return and had to flee the states to (1) protect her mortal parents and (2) not get blood hunted. it had always been her sister's dream to visit edinburgh so that's where del goes; she doesn't know she's a thinblood until she meets the old caitiff who helps her figure it out. he's the only one who knows the truth of what happened in the states and he helps her figure out who to make contact with in elysium, how to present herself to the prince, etc. he's the only person she wholly trusts.

the prince is herself a toreador and a little too fond of digging around in people's heads, so coming clean about del's sire isn't an option. she got out of the states before being branded as a thinblood so she has that going for her, and her temperment is very much the stereotypical brujah vibe, so she passes herself off as cam brujah. she's entirely motivated by grief and vengeance and is determined to undermine the camarilla however she can; so while her ideology is more aligned with the anarchs she masquerades as cam brujah for the insider access.

her murdered sister seems to be attached to her as a wraith, tethered to del in an unfinished attempt to protect her. del can't hear or see her, but both a hecata rep and del's hot tremere friend (who's definitely just a friend and totally not a romantic interest) confirmed that it's her. we've also recently learned that sabina was not in fact cam but a sabbat infiltrator, and through a sabbat ritual intended to preserve diablerized operatives she's still anchored to del too. sabina's handler is in town causing problems and was able to draw her consciousness forward, blocking del out in the process.

the coterie doesnt know any of this yet, but she's backed into a corner right now in terms of needing their help and not being able to get around telling them why. she's telling them next session and it's gonna be messyyyy.

overall she presents as very detached, aloof, and emotionally unavailable. she cares about the caitiff, the coterie, her tremere friend, and her mortal adoptive parents: end of list. her moral code is really just "as long as it doesn't affect me and mine i don't give a shit." she's very open about her distaste for cam politics and loathes every moment she has to spend in elysium; she's gotten this far by playing herself off as a low-ranking brujah with no real political ambition. she's blunt, abrasive, manipulative, and just generally kind of a little shit. she's also barely 5'4" and looks to be about 19-20 in age, so the contrast between How Threatening I Look vs Degree of Violence I Am Capable Of Unleashing is, uh. stark.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

UR ART IS SO COOL!! i love how expressive it is and how the characters all look so distinct and unique from each other!! its also pretty cool to see there are still some ppl into deh and stuff wkshdjd.. i hope ur doing well and things become great for u!!! :D

oh thank you! i especially love when Expressiveness is seen as a defining quality b/c that's my main focus / inspiration / motivation, and in addition to like, the general construction of an expression, i definitely also focus on the fun challenge of making people look distinctive / successfully capturing/evoking distinctive traits so as to be recognizable / true to whatever source. evidently i love Faces & efforts get focused there, so people specifically enjoying those elements is extra rewarding lol

and yeah whew the [rotating deh in one's mind] grind continues, there's so much going on in that thing lol and even if it's been a little while since some post or reblog about it, i've certainly been thinking about it in that interim haha, for real having a conversation heavily featuring that topic at this moment lol of course. can sure hang on to an engaging topic for years, not to mention have these resurgences manifest after something's been on a low simmer for a while, not to further mention just getting into anything anytime, like, i was "late" to deh by a couple of years vs. it really being that peak hot topic its first year on broadway, and i know of course some people may be first arriving on the scene now / more recently than that, which like, no problem, b/c yeah Other people also maintain an interest for years / make posts about it / have a revival after a latent period / get into things for the first time even when it's not like, peak traffic for [the most ppl talking about it w/the most frequency] like aw who cares. i mean i guess some people do feel like their experience is diminished if they missed the peak popularity train for something, but [typing autistically] like i'm gonna be on the periphery posting about whatever whenever it has me by the scruff of my neck regardless, and it's a fun alignment i'm sure for whoever also happens to be into it at the time lol, partake of my posts

that sure didn't need an extensive paragraph but that's simply also part of my personal output lol, Thank You for going the extra mile to send a nice message about it, it's fun to get voiced feedback about people enjoying things i've made, whether via tags on specific posts or asks about the overall experience, love Enthusiasm resulting from my own Enthusiasm about whatever that lets me draw about it in the first place lol, very kind and thoughtful 🙏