#my sister yeeted me from the office

[thatfanfictionchick]

Roommate Wanted

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[time skip]Kei Tsukishima x f!Reader

Rating: 18+; Explicit

Warnings: oh shit okay Tsukki being a charming ass; Reader gets carried; Brief cameo of a toxic ex boyfriend; Brief description of a toxic relationship; We have to cuddle to stay warm trope; oh shit I forgot Pet names like nobody's business (sweetheart, angel, princess); Vaginal fingering; Unprotected vaginal intercourse; Light choking; Spit kink if you squint and don't blink;

Word count: 10570

Notes: *yeets this bitch like I'm angry* MY GOD TAKE THIS FUCKER OFF MY HANDS HE HAS BEEN TAKING UP SPACE IN MY MIND AND MY DRAFTS FOR WAY TO FUCKING LONG. 10k words might be child's play to some but to me it is HOLY FUCK the longest thing I've ever written. Yes I made him unnecessarily slightly taller than in canon because I can. It's almost 3am just take it and go. There might be fuckups and plot holes but that's your problem now.

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Kei Tsukishima hadn’t been your first choice of roommate. 

When you arrived on campus it was only to be told that due to a system glitch you had not been placed in the student housing like you’d anticipated, and every room was full. You had been approved for the part time job you wanted, but it definitely didn’t pay enough to afford a place off campus on your own.

You spent hours in the counselor's office to no avail. Stepping out into a glorious spring afternoon you decided to call your older sister, nearly bursting into tears when she answered the phone. “What am I gonna dooo?!” you wailed, leaning dramatically against a tree lining the walkway after having told her the whole terrible story.

“You know what?” You could hear her tapping thoughtfully on the other end. “If I remember right a friend of mine’s brother is attending there too, and he’s got a place off campus. His roommate moved over the summer so he might need a new one!” There was a brief pause and then “Would...that be okay with you?”

“YES!” you yelled. “As long as he’s not a creep I don’t mind! Just help meee!”

With a hurried goodbye your sister hung up and you wandered campus aimlessly, bouncing nervously on your toes as you walked. You’d never lived with a guy before. You’d stayed the night and long weekends with previous boyfriends, but never anything serious. And when you started to get nervous you tried to remind yourself that, if this were to work out, your sister was friends with his brother, so it wasn’t like just moving in with a total total stranger. You were contemplating lunch when your phone rang, an unfamiliar number popping up on the screen. You nearly dropped it in your haste to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey! This is Akiteru. Your sister tells me you’re in need of a place to stay?” His voice sounded familiar. You know you’ve seen this guy before, but you can’t quite remember his face.

“I am!”

“Cool.” he said. “My brother has a room at his place, it’s about a ten minute walk from the school. He’s home now, if you want to go check it out.”

You were nearly vibrating with anticipation as Akiteru promised to send the address and let his brother know you were coming. Everything was going fine until just before he hung up. “Don’t let Kei’s rudeness put you off, he’s actually got a heart of gold in there somewhere.” Akiteru said with a laugh. “Good luck!” You stared at your phone, the dial tone still ringing in your ears.

“I guess rude is better than creepy, right?” you muttered to yourself.

The walk was pleasant, taking you past a convenience store and a small coffee shop, through a vibrant neighborhood to a three story apartment building. The apartment was on the top floor and next to the street, so it was easy to find. You knew you were fidgeting as you knocked on the door and took a deep breath, letting it out in a forceful huff. A moment later the door swung open, and you were very sure your mouth briefly fell open before you managed to snap it shut.

Tall. Taaaalll. You forced yourself to look away from the long limbs, eyes flicking over the lean torso to land on the passive face looking down at you. “Hi,” you breathed rather stupidly. The goldenrod eyes narrowed ever so slightly behind the half rim glasses as he cocked one brow and you cleared your throat to try again. “Tsukishima, right? Your brother-”

“You’re here for the room.” He stepped back and gestured for you to come in, closing the door behind you while you took your shoes off. There was no emotion in his voice to indicate how he felt about your arrival. You’d be lying if you didn’t admit you thought he was intimidating right off the bat. He didn’t say anything as he led you through the living room and you took the opportunity to survey the neat simple furniture. The TV was on the large side, which was nice. The living room opened up into a small kitchen and dining area and from there was a single hallway. There were four doors; the farthest on the left and the one at the end of the hall were closed, the one on the right was a bathroom, the open one on the left was the bedroom. It was a little on the smaller side with a plain wooden dresser and a simple white bed frame with a bare mattress.

"If you want a new mattress you'll have to buy it yourself." He leaned against the door frame and folded his arms across his chest. His glasses glinted in the light and you were distinctly reminded of an anime villain.

"That's fine." You stepped into the room and opened the closet. It was tiny, but you weren't in the position to be picky. "How much?"

"32000¥ plus your share of utilities. You're responsible for your own food. The laundry is on the ground floor." He was talking like you'd already agreed to move in. Well he wasn't exactly wrong, it wasn't like you had any other choice at this point. Your eyes flickered over his face again. His blond curls could almost fool you into thinking he had an angelic nature. 

"Kay, I'm in." You threaded your fingers together behind your back and stepped closer to him. "What are the rules?"

"Easy." Hands in his pockets he stepped closer too, forcing you to look up at him. "Leave me alone, don't make a lot of noise, clean up after yourself, and don't fuck anyone on my couch."

You were so caught up in thinking about how rude rule #1 was it took you a moment to process rule #4. "Excuse me?!" you choked. "On your...has that been a regular problem for you?"

“Only if I make it one.” The words spoken in his deadpan tone nearly had you wheezing. Then you spotted the way his lips curled the smallest bit at the corner and your eyes narrowed. Was this lanky fucker really taking shots at you like this before you’d even moved in?

You returned his miniscule smirk with one of your own. “I don’t know that I like you, Kei Tsukishima.” 

“Good.” His smile broadened. “Where did you leave your stuff?”

It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck you and your eyes unfocused as you tried to wrestle with the blossoming realization of your inattentiveness. “I...left it at the school.” Tsukishima laughed and turned on his heel to walk away.

“You have fun with that.”

Rude didn’t begin to cover it. Tsukishima Kei was a certified Grade A asshole.

〖✰〗

Between school, homework, work, and reconnecting with friends you didn’t see Tsukki again for several weeks. If it weren’t for the revolving food that you saw in the fridge and the occasional piece of mail he left on the table you wouldn’t even be sure he actually shared the same living space.

It was the first weekend in March when you finally decided to make actual use of the living room instead of going out with friends or losing yourself at the library. After a long bath you dressed in loose sweatpants and a tank top and turned on the TV. Tsukki was apparently subscribed to several streaming services, but what caught your eye was the name of the DVD currently inserted: Jurassic Park.

“Poggers,” you muttered excitedly as you pushed play. Hurrying to your room for a blanket you then ducked into the pantry to grab a white peach castella cake you’d picked up at the convenience store a few days ago and hadn’t had time to eat. It was your favorite and you were always on the lookout for them. However you were so quickly absorbed in the movie that you’d hardly touched it when, as the T-Rex savaged one unfortunate bloodsucking lawyer, the front door opened. You didn’t look away from the screen, instead catching sight of the tall frame of your roommate from your peripheral as he took off his shoes and hung up his jacket.

“Hi, Tsukki.” You were so focused on the carnage that you didn’t realize you had called him the name you reserved in your head. He paused, lips pressing together like he wasn’t sure whether to correct you or not before deciding to let it go, just this once.

Momentarily forgetting who you were living with you weren’t surprised when he joined you, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and resting one long leg on the coffee table. He eyed the cake in your hands, wondering if he should chastise you for eating on the couch. “What is that?”

“Peach castella.” Out of habit, as if he actually were your friend, you offered him the quarter eaten cake. “Want some?”

“No.” He didn’t even try to conceal the disgust in his tone.

"Rude!" But he noticed the way your lips curled as you lifted it to your mouth. "Girls don't actually have cooties, ya know." you chided playfully a minute later.

"With you I'd rather not take my chances."

"Dick!" You burst into laughter and the sneer on his face only widened when you snorted, nearly choking on your own saliva.

Tsukki was absolutely the meanest-for-no-reason person you'd ever met, and you'd only had all of two brief conversations with him. But he also radiated some kind of ridiculous charisma, and after you settled back down, making a vulgar gesture in the process which he pretended not to notice, the silence that fell between you was comfortable. Even after being insulted, something about his presence had a relaxing effect on you.

"I don't like peach cake." He said abruptly 20 minutes later. It took you a moment to realize he'd actually spoken. He was relaxed into the couch, his jaw propped on his fist as his gaze remained on the television. His profile looked soft in the afternoon light through the gauzy curtains.

"What kind do you like?" you asked.

Tsukki was chewing his tongue. He honestly wasn't sure why he'd suddenly volunteered that tidbit and he didn't want to offer you any more information about himself. He didn't need more people involved with his life. "None of your business." 

"Tsukishima!" He was caught off guard by your sharp tone, turning curious amber eyes on you. "C’mon, man." You looked half amused, half exasperated. "I've been a good, quiet, clean roommate. I haven't even fucked myself on your couch." His eyebrows lifted but you ignored it. "I don't think asking what kind of cake you like is overstepping."

He didn't say anything. Instead he stared at you, his eyes hard and searching. Like he was actually looking at you for the first time. He didn’t answer, just turned his attention back to the movie and you followed suit. You were curious but weren’t willing to pry. If he wanted to maintain a hard wall then you’d just get used to it. The silence remained until the end of the movie when you stretched widely as the end credits began to roll.

“Such a good movie!” you exclaimed. “We totally need the rest.”

“I have the rest.” Tsukki mumbled. Your head snapped in his direction, your eyes wide.

“Can we watch them?” There was such juvenile excitement in your voice and when he looked over the sparkle in your eyes made his ears feel hot.

“We?” he said haughtily.

“You got anything better to do today?”

He huffed and rolled his eyes, looking surprisingly elegant given his mile long limbs as he stood up and walked away without a backwards glance. You shook your head watching him go, assuming this was his way of dismissing you. With a sigh you sagged onto the couch, grabbing your phone to scroll through Twitter for a bit when suddenly Tsukki came back, a large dinosaur emblazoned box in his hand. It was one of those fancy box sets, the metal of the box glinting in the light. Your mouth formed a small ‘o’ before breaking into a grin as he knelt in front of the entertainment center, his long fingers carefully changing the discs in the blu-ray player. You fluffed the decorative pillow and snuggled into the corner of the couch as he rejoined you, your glee unrestrained as he started the second movie, this time kicking both legs over the coffee table.

But Tsukki had one more surprise in store for you. As the opening scene played out, the low tone of his voice caught your attention once more. “It’s strawberry shortcake.” You turned wide eyes on him but he refused to look away from the screen. “My favorite cake.” he clarified after a moment. A small smile softened your eyes.

“Was that so hard?” you cooed.

“Shut up.”

〖✰〗

A few days later Tsukki, having picked up dinner after volleyball practice, went to put the leftovers in the fridge and was surprised to see a whole strawberry shortcake on his shelf. There was a small note taped to the lid:

For Saltyshima

(Don't get all bigheaded it was on sale)

A smile tugged at his lips. You were such a pain in the ass, he thought. Why you wanted to try so hard to be friendly he didn't understand. So bothersome, just like the others in his life.

Two days after that you came home in a terrible mood. You'd been late to your first class, you'd rolled your ankle when you slipped on some stairs, you'd forgotten your wallet so you hadn't been able to buy lunch, and to top it all off it had started to rain on your way home. All you wanted was to take a long hot bath and maybe cry, you weren’t quite set on that yet. Slouching into the pantry to grab a quick bite you were surprised to find a small stack of peach cakes in the basket that housed your assorted snacks. They definitely had not been there the day before. There was a post-it note stuck to the top, Tsukki’s small neat writing gracing the paper.

Who needs a sale when you’re this cheap.

You snorted and started giggling, which quickly turned to full on gut-busting laughter. Leave it to Tsukki to be salty as hell even when doing something nice.

〖✰〗

You discovered Tsukki’s “secret” by accident. You decided to cut through the gym building one day on your way to meet a friend for a study date, the sharp squeal of rubber on the gleaming flooring and the occasional loud smack of something hitting the ground with force drawing you the opposite direction down the hall to see what was going on. You peeked around the door, head tilted at the chaotic scene of moving bodies. They all moved so fast, a sort of grace to the sheer force of their actions. Your eyes ping-ponged around the room, trying to get a good look at the blur of faces to see if you recognized any of them. And then a face wearing a pair of athletic goggles caught your attention, and you felt the momentary slack of your jaw.

“Tsukki?!” Those mile long arms and distractingly large hands were doing one hell of a job blocking the ball, and without a second thought you dashed down the hall to the door for the stairs leading up to the gym seating. Trying not to trip you pulled out your phone and texted your friend, telling her to come meet you a.s.a.p. There was a scattered crowd watching the practice and you picked a seat right at the front, leaning forward on your knees to watch intensely. So this is why Tsukki was almost never home, you realized. He was practicing. You barely noticed when your friend slid into the seat next to you.

“I didn’t know you like volleyball?” she said.

“I didn’t know Tsukki was on the team.” You looked over in time to see her brows pinch together.

“Tsukishima?” she asked, confused.

“Uh, yeah?” You tilted your head at her. “My roommate Tsukishima?”

Her eyes opened wide and she grabbed your knee. “Your roommate is the Kei Tsukishima?!”

You made a face and threw your hands in the air. “Girl how many Kei Tsukishima’s do you think are wandering around this school!”

A rise in yelling from the court had you looking back down just in time to see Tsukki spike the ball over the net, the force of it hitting the ground like a small explosion. Before you could stop yourself you’d jumped to your feet, throwing your arms in the air and yelling “Hell yeah Tsukishima!” His entire being physically convulsed as he reeled around, eyes swiping across the seats before landing on you.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he yelled, looking as ruffled as you’d ever seen him. His already curly hair was downright unruly, a bead of sweat dripping off his chin. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it to wipe his face and against any measure of decorum your eyes went straight to the distinct lines of his abs. You immediately righted them to his face but it seemed the damage was done and he was smirking at you in an infuriatingly knowing way.

“That your girlfriend, Tsooks?” Another blond called. His bangs were a dark brown in comparison.

“Absolutely not.” Tsukki yelled back, his eyes still watching you intensely. You dramatically wilted and pressed your hand to your chest.

“Kei! I thought our love meant more to you than that!”

“Do not call me Kei.” His voice was flat but there was an unmistakable perk at the corner of his mouth. You rolled your eyes and made a shooing motion with your hand, causing laughter from his teammates as you plunked back in your seat. 

Unfortunately for Tsukki, you were so taken (by the sport, you insisted) that you started showing up several times a week to watch them practice, and it became increasingly bothersome for him to deal with his teammates heckling. Thankfully you always ducked out just before they finished though, and for the time being none of the other team members had figured out that you were his roommate. At the very least he was spared that teasing.

〖✰〗

You didn’t show up to watch them practice and Tsukki was annoyed to find he wanted to know why. When he unlocked the door of the apartment, the first thing he heard was an annoyed growl and you cursing angrily. He took his time taking off his shoes and hanging his jacket on the hook by the door before looking around the corner. You were sitting at the small kitchen table, your laptop open in front of you. Your fingers were buried in your hair and your back curled dramatically over the top of the chair.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!” you whined. “And if I fail this midterm there is a very real chance my teacher will throw a chair at my face!”

“Drama queen.” Tsukki sneered. You glared at him upside down before sitting up, stretching your arms over your head and resuming a furious search of the class materials. You were vaguely aware of his approach behind you. Suddenly, without warning, one long arm reached in front of you and you jerked back, your head hitting his abdomen. He didn’t even wait for you to move your hand, his fingers nearly tangling with yours as they moved lazily over the trackpad.

“You're using the wrong formula for these questions.” He bent down but leaned the opposite way, effectively caging you against the table in his arms. His voice was low and so close to your ear that goosebumps erupted down your neck and arm. He tapped on the trackpad several times. "See?"

"Uh huh." You weren't looking at the screen. You'd never seen his hands this close up before. His fingers were so long and graceful. His palms were wide and could easily fully cover your own. Even his nails were short, smooth, and carefully shaped. They were pretty.

"Come here." He pulled away and started down the hall. He’d never asked you to follow him before and you hurried behind him. You’d never seen inside the other two rooms before either so when Tsukki opened the door on the left your eyes opened wide as saucers.

It was a little study room. One wall was nothing but bookshelves, stuffed full. A few shelves had books stacked two deep. On the opposite side was a small desk with a laptop and a stack of notebooks and a high backed office chair. Three sleek curio cabinets stood against the wall, a seemingly random assortment of objects on the spotless shelves. There were slices of agate and broken geodes, flora pressed between thin pieces of plastic, various insects carefully pinned to small boards, what appeared to be rough gemstones and a hundred other things you would need a lot more time to properly recognize.

“This is so cool!” Hands pressed between your knees, you bent forward to look at the cabinets closer. What looked like a two headed rodent was suspended in yellowish fluid in a glass jar. “Do you just like collecting this kind of stuff?”

There was a momentary pause and since you were looking at the shelves you didn’t see the uncharacteristic way Tsukki’s eyes softened or the genuine smile that crossed his face. You looked absolutely precious surveying his humble collection with big eyes brimming with so much curiosity. “Next year, after graduation, I’m going to work at the Sendai City Museum.”

“That’s really cool, Tsukki.” You stood in time to see him grab a worn and faded notebook off his desk. He held it out to you, his face back to smooth and passive. Brows furrowed you took it and rifled through the pages, glancing over them before realization dawned as you looked over the same formulas that were confusing you easily broken down on the pages.

“You can borrow this.” Tsukki said. “Since you clearly need the help.”

You scowled but chose not to make a snarky comment since this was by far the nicest thing he’d done for you since you’d met him. “You’re so smart, why don’t you just help me with the homework?”

He smirked. “Not a chance. Figure it out yourself.”

〖✰〗

You were supposed to be eating. But Tsukki was sitting across the table from you and you kept finding yourself staring at him instead. Finally he’d had enough, his spoon clattering against the bottom of his bowl. “What’s your problem?”

Without answering you reached across the table, taking his hands in your own and pulling them toward you. His eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline but he didn’t pull away, mostly because he was too surprised to.

You turned his hands over, brow furrowed as you critically eyed his fingers. “Is your pinky crooked?”

“Ah.” He drew away and fanned his right hand out between the two of you. It was subtle but if you looked you could see that his right pinky was definitely crooked. “Noticed that huh?”

“What happened?”

“Spring high preliminary my first year of high school. It was dislocated so they taped it to my ring finger so I could keep playing.”

You hummed thoughtfully. “Aaand I take it it didn’t just stay ‘dislocated’.”

His smile was lopsided and adorable. “C’mon, you’ve seen us play. Not exactly gentle is it.”

“You’re crazy. That had to hurt like mad.” You shook your head and picked up your bowl, slurping at a coiled noodle. Tsukki shrugged and went back to fishing bits of carrot out of his soup.

“We won. That’s all that matters.” 

〖✰〗

The fact that it was autumn and therefore colder at night was not going to stop you going out with your friends.

“Really?” Tsukki looked you over from his spot at the table as you emerged from your room, his brows drawn together in a look of dissatisfaction. Even if you caught him he’d never admit he watched you, in your tiny strapless dress and spiked high heels, as you crossed the living room to grab the purse you’d left on the couch. The way the fabric clung to your ass was...distracting. “You know it’s supposed to rain tonight.”

“Yes dad." you huffed. "But we'll be inside, that's the outside's problem." You were going to be in the club, what did it matter to you if there was a little bit of rain?

Annoyingly, predictably, that “little bit of rain” was a positive downpour. Which would have been fine, if not for you and your friends drunkenly deciding that embracing your inner child and playing in the rain, in the almost freezing temperatures in the middle of the night, would be a great idea. You were shivering and frozen to the bone by the time you got home, only taking the time to change into your pajamas before collapsing in bed, wet hair and all.

You spent the next day in bed and come nightfall you felt the very tell-tale settling of pain in your limbs that could only mean one thing.

The morning after you barely managed to get out of bed, shuffling into the kitchen and practically hanging off the fridge door, staring blankly at the food within. You didn’t even notice your roommate coming up next to you.

“You look like shit.” Ugh. The last thing you wanted was to deal with Tsukki being a smug mean asshole.

“Nobody asked-” the rest of your sentence trailed off as the world shifted dramatically. Tsukki caught you as your legs buckled. Your unfocused eyes fluttered and even through your feverish haze you couldn’t help but think about how pretty he was up close.

“I told you.” His voice was soft, equally concerned and exasperated. You only groaned in response, grabbing his shirt when he lifted you bridal style against his chest and carried you back to your bed. Okay, maybe he set you down a little firmer than necessary, but it was the thought that counted. You shivered and curled in on yourself as he set to untwisting your tangled bedspread. He spread it over you, tucking it gently around the edges and you mumbled something that may have been a ‘thank you’ but not even you were sure.

Your eyes drifted closed and you were ready to sleep for a fortnight but then something cool was poking your cheek. Tsukki’s finger dragged along the skin and he simply commanded: “Open.” Too tired to fuss you did as he said, opening your mouth trustingly. You grimaced as the bitter taste of medicine spread across your tongue. Swallowing felt like hell, all fiery pins and needles. He laughed softly at the way your nose scrunched.

By the time he came back with a wet washcloth in hand you were fast asleep. Shaking his head he adjusted your hair the best he could to lay it across your forehead. You grumbled, your head briefly turning to press your cheek against his palm.

〖✰〗

It was finally winter break and you were looking forward to some much needed time to rest. You had driven Tsukki mad by putting up holiday decorations everywhere, including colored strands of lights over every window and doorway. A candy cane composed of bells hung on the knob of the front door and while you adored the jingling, Tsukki was about ready to throw the abomination down the stairs. 

By now Tsukki had taken to leaving the door to his study room open on account of how often you would pop your head in to ask him a question or just lie on the floor and scroll on your phone. You could hear the sound of his music floating down the hall from your prone position on the couch as you watched TV. An emergency alert came on and you watched intently before rolling off the couch and jogging down the hall calling “Tsukkiii!”

“Yeah?” He didn’t look up. He was building some kind of model, a long pair of tweezers manipulating a thin piece of string. You stepped closer to watch, momentarily forgetting why you’d come to him in the first place. It wasn’t until he paused and looked at you that you spoke.

“Right, sorry. There’s supposed to be a huge storm coming this weekend. They’re saying like a foot of snow. I’m gonna go to the store and get some things, do you want to come?”

“Sure.” He finished setting the string and got his work to a good stopping point. When he stood up he stretched and his fingers brushed the ceiling. You were very aware of the way you swallowed as your eyes followed the line of his arms down to shoulders, your gaze lingering on the exposed strip of stomach from where his shirt rode up. He was surprised when you suddenly turned on your heel and sped out of the room but shrugged it off and followed. You were strange enough without trying to make sense of it.

You were putting your boots on when he reached around you for his coat. You lost your balance and yelped in surprise and he grabbed you, his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. You laughed, a little embarrassed, and quickly righted yourself stammering “thanks”.

Outside was cold and your breath rose in little clouds as the two of you walked to the bus stop. There had been a small storm the day before and the ground was still covered in icy patches. You hopped on them, laughing at the little slide you would get out of each one. Tsukki rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips all the same. You were nearly at the stop when you jumped on a long thin patch of ice and you would have been fine if your boot hadn’t caught on dry concrete. You pitched forward with a shriek and suddenly the whole world rolled around you as Tsukki grabbed you. Unfortunately you had too much momentum and the best he could do was slow your fall, putting you down as gently as possible while bracing himself to keep from squishing you. You looked at him with wide eyes, shocked to see how close he was. All you needed to do was lift your head an inch or so and you could be kissing him. You quickly banished the thought from your mind before dissolving into nervous giggles. “Uh, thanks.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” he grumped, picking himself up and dusting the grit off his gloves before offering you his hand and pulling you to your feet.

“Kill off the best roommate I’ve ever had? Perish the thought, dear one!” You dramatically tossed your hand in the air and he shook his head, laughing. “But no seriously thanks for saving my ass.”

“Guess it was the least I could do for the most tolerable roommate I’ve ever had,” he said. You shot him a look of disbelief that made him laugh again.

“Tolerable?!” you wailed. “I don’t get to be the cutest? Or the nicest? Or even the cleanest?!”

He didn’t reply, because as he looked down the street he saw that the bus was approaching and grabbed her hand to pull you along before it passed by. He kept hold of it even as you both tapped your phones to pay the fare and only let go once he’d slid into the seat after you.

“Okay,” he said after a minute. “Second cutest.”

“You know what?” you said. “With how difficult you are, I’ll take it.”

Fortunately the small market wasn't far and the bus stopped right out front. As you went to step off the bus Tsukki offered you his hand. "I don't have it in me to take another fall for you." You laughed and accepted, holding his hand all the way to the front door. You both removed your hats, gloves, and scarves, and while Tsukki only unzipped his coat you took yours off and draped it over the side of the cart. “So what are we getting?”

“This, definitely.” You grabbed a case of water from the stack by the door and hefted it into the cart. Tsukki groaned with disappointment; he knew he was going to be the one who had to carry it home. You stuck your tongue out and continued. “I don’t think we need a lot, okay? We’ve got a lot in the pantry. Water, maybe some of the self heating meals. Oh, we should grab some baby wipes too.”

“Ha?” Tsukki stopped mid step. You stopped too, looking up at him in confusion. His eyes flickered to your belly and back. “Uh, something you wanna share with the class?”

Your hands flew to your mouth to stifle your burst of laughter. “Oh my god, you idiot!” Your shoulders shook and your face was on fire. “No no noooo oh my god!” You wiped a tear from your eye and leaned into his side. “It’s just if we can’t take a shower, okay?! They’re way cheaper than those stupid shower wipes. And you get way more.”

Truth be told he felt stupid immediately after saying it. He wasn’t even quite sure why you saying ‘baby’ caught him so off guard. “As long as I’m not expected to take on any sort of parenting duties.”

You looked at him, your eyes narrowed with mischief. “Liar. I’ll bet you like being called Daddy.” He shoved you with his elbow and you burst into another round of maniacal laughter. “Okay, okay, you go get the food, I’ll get the wipes and meet you by the register.” He walked away shaking his head and you nearly skipped to the baby aisle while humming.

You made it to the front first. In your arms were two packages of wipes, a handful of candy bars, some canned coffees, and two warm sesame balls. Given that you had wandered to so many different places you were surprised you beat him. You turned your head, wondering where he could be, when an unwelcome face came into view.

Chikao was the last boyfriend you’d had, a few months before school started. He was attractive enough, and funny and charming at first. But the closer the start of the semester came the more sullen and aggressive his personality became. He didn’t understand why you’d want to leave him. He complained that obviously your relationship was just a fling because he certainly wouldn’t go so far away if you’d said no (these complaints were doubled because you’d not slept with him no matter how much he pushed). Eventually his little jabs led to an argument where he said it’s not like you needed to go to school anyway, you might get a degree but it wasn’t like you were actually smart enough to do anything with it. That was the last time you’d seen him, simultaneously telling you to accept the truth and begging you not to leave because he loved you. He was lucky you hadn’t broken his nose. His behavior was so despicable that it was largely the reason you had refused to date or entertain anyone since. Also, though you didn’t like admitting it, you were embarrassed. In retrospect it was easy to see how toxic the relationship had quickly become, but you had been so charmed by his handsome face and sweet love bombing that you’d blinded yourself to what kind of person he really was.

You hoped to walk away quickly before he noticed you, but no such luck. He spotted you immediately and made his way over, that fake smile on his face. “Well look who it is!”

You had to force the words out. “What are you doing here?”

He ignored the ice in your tone. “Oh, just here to meet a girl.” He watched you like a hawk, sizing up your reaction. You hummed vaguely and he continued. “Look, I know the last time we saw each other didn’t go well, but I really only have your best interest in mind, you know?” Mistaking your continued silence for interest he lowered his voice and continued. “I forgave you for leaving ages ago. I have a room downtown for the weekend, come over and we can talk things out.”

Making a scene or not, you were ready to tell him exactly where he could stick his room when an arm wrapped around you, pulling you into the warmth of a familiar lean body. “Everything okay, angel?” 

You positively melted with relief into Tsukki’s side. His coat had lifted your sweater and he had grabbed the exposed skin near your hip. Instead of fixing it he took advantage of the opening, letting his fingers slide further under the fabric to rub circles on your skin. Goosebumps raced down your leg and your entire back tingled from the contact. “Yeah,” you responded breathlessly. “Just fine.” 

Across from you Chikao’s face had twisted into something more befitting of his personality. You braced yourself but the diatribe you expected didn’t come; instead he seemed to chew on his bottom lip before uttering an angry “oh”, his eyes flickering from Tsukki’s face to the floor and back again. You turned your head, wondering what could be giving him such pause and - oh, indeed.

It wasn’t a smile, exactly. But it wasn’t really a scowl or glare. It was, most importantly, unnerving. It was easy to imagine that some great bird of prey might have a similar look on its face as it dropped from the sky onto some poor small stupid animal. And as if the murderous look on his face wasn’t enough, the fact that Tsukki stood at least a foot taller than both you and your ex-boyfriend only made him that much more frightening in the current situation. A shiver ran down your spine. Chikao muttered something about being late and turned sharply before fleeing the store. Clouds were gathering outside, darkening the sky. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding that trailed off into a suspiciously disappointed sounding sigh as Tsukki removed his arm from your waist while you dumped the contents in your arms into the cart. 

“Thank you.” You smiled up at him, your hand resting on his arm for a moment.

“Who was that?” Tsukki asked. When he’d come walking to the front of the store he’d seen you standing there, your entire body shrunk inward as someone with one of the most unpleasant faces he’d ever seen loomed over you. 

You gave him the spark notes version of your relationship with Chikao, your eyes on the floor the whole time. When you finished Tsukki didn’t say anything so you looked up only to find his face was turned away from you. After a minute he finally met your gaze and then abruptly put his hand on the top of your head, ruffling your hair. You squealed with laughter and tried to duck away but he caught you, pulling you into a one armed hug. You immediately gave up trying to escape. You told yourself it definitely wasn’t because you needed the sudden closeness. You were fine. His hand was on the back of your head and you felt the rumble in his chest when he spoke. “You’re okay.” 

You weren’t sure if he was saying you were okay in general, like as a person, or if he was offering you some kind of reassurance after what had just happened. Regardless, you were just as surprised as he was when you grabbed him around the waist, pressing your face into his chest to stifle your sudden sobbing.

〖✰〗

The next night you woke with a start. You laid there in the dark, wondering what could have woken you so abruptly when you realized you were cold. Not just cold, freezing. Your fingers and toes and nose actually ached, your ears uncomfortably numb. Groping for your phone you flinched when you grabbed it, the cold of the case biting against your palm. It was 2am.

Locating your slippers you shuffled to the window, vigorously rubbing your arms. You blinked rapidly before realizing it wasn’t your vision that was blurry; snow was falling outside. Thick and heavy, it looked like it had already accumulated into several inches. There were no other lights on. Slipping your phone into your pocket to keep it from freezing you shambled down the hall to Tsukki’s room, knocking on the door. You heard him groan, then curse, then the sound of his feet on the floor before the door opened.

“Th-the power’s out,” you stuttered.

He rubbed his face. “Clearly.”

“Let me come sleep with you.”

Even in the gloom you could see his eyes widen. “What? No.”

“Oh come on,” you whined. “It’s f-freezing!”

“So get some more blankets.” His response lost all its bite when he shivered.

“You’re cold too!” you said. “Come on, for real, a person could freeze to death.”

He shivered again. “Pretty sure I’d be fine.”

You hissed and stomped your foot. “A frozen roommate can’t pay rent, Tsukishima!”

His head fell back with a long groan but he stepped aside and opened the door for you. “Fine, you win. Come on.”

You practically dove into his bed. Your doorway conversation had barely lasted a minute but that was all it took for the cold to sap whatever heat he’d left behind and you whimpered, bundling his blankets up to your nose. They smelled like he did, like rain water and grass, and you inhaled it deeply. Tsukki closed the door, rummaged in his closet for another blanket to throw over the bed, then crawled in behind you. You expected that he would just lie next to you so you were quite surprised when he grabbed you around the waist and dragged you against him as the little spoon. You shrieked when he buried his frozen nose in the back of your neck and he shushed you. “Be quiet or I’ll throw you out.”

“Monster!” you hissed, snuggling as close to him as you could anyways. 

“We tell no one about this,” he warned. You could feel his lips against your skin and it was distracting to say the least.

You snickered. “Not even Kanji?” you teased, thinking of his adorably loud and nosey teammate. He huffed and buried his face deeper into the curve of your neck and for just a second you thought he might bite you. Then suddenly his fingers dug into your ribs, tickling you, and you screeched with laughter.

“Especially Koganegawa.”

With another threat to keep quiet ("you were tickling me!") you fell quiet and tried to get back to sleep. Despite his stoicism Tsukki was shivering just as much as you and was pressed as close to you as possible. Even his lanky legs were folded up behind yours. It took a few minutes but eventually the two of you made enough body heat to warm the little pocket under the blanket and you stopped shivering. Eyelids too heavy to keep open, you felt along his arm for his hand muttering “thanks, Tsukki.” 

You must have been more tired than you thought because just before you fell back to sleep you could have sworn you heard him whisper “anything for you.” But that couldn’t be right, because there was no way he’d say something like that.

Come the next morning you’d forgotten. Hell, when you woke up it took you a minute just to remember where you were. The arm around your waist and the very present stiffness against your ass nearly had you hurtling out of bed. Then the cold hit you, and you realized that through the slivers in the blinds you could still see snow falling, and you relaxed with a small sigh. It was Tsukki, and that was okay.

Wait.

Tsukki moved, his hips rolling against you.

Holy mother of - ! You swallowed the noise that tried to escape your throat and your face was on fire. Okay this is normal you told yourself. Don’t make it weird. But his morning wood was all you could think about. Should you get up before he did? Should you pretend to be asleep until he got up so that he didn’t know you had laid there in bed kinda sorta secretly enjoying the feel of his hard-NO STOP IT! Fortunately for both your heart and your mental health that’s when Tsukki chose to wake up, groaning as he rolled away and tried to stretch the cold-induced stiffness from his limbs. He got up and shuffled away to the bathroom (you presumed) and after a minute you groped around in your pants to get your phone out of the pocket. Your social media was filled with your friends freaking out about the power outages and news alerts on how to take care in such a dangerous situation. You kept glancing at the window, wondering how much snow was actually out there.

When Tsukki came back you were standing in front of the window with the blinds pulled open. You looked at him and simply said “that’s a lot.” He joined you, his mouth momentarily dropping open in surprise. Everything outside was smooth and white, still-falling snow sparkling against the backdrop of the gray sky. The snow drifts across the street were so deep that they completely covered the windows of the bottom floor apartments. Still, the scene was beautiful in its own way. Eyes roving the white hills you said “I don’t think we’re getting out for a while.”

Tsukki looked at you out of the corner of his eye. You were so enthralled with the winter wonderland outside. “Could be worse things.” 

You declared yourself a temporary-permanent member of his room and ran to grab your pillows and blankets, ignoring his protests. Just after 11am the power came back on and you seized the opportunity to charge your phone, take a hot shower, and make a hot meal, the two of you cradling steaming bowls side by side in his bed. Just before 2pm the power went out again and from the looks of the alerts you were getting it would be out until the next morning. The two of you spent most of the day in his bed having reached a silent truce as you cuddled and played on your phones.

You let Tsukki use the bathroom to get ready for bed first, unwilling to leave the cocoon you had made in his bed. He locked the door behind him but left the light off. Thumbs slipping into the elastic of the pajama pants he hadn’t bothered to change out of he slid them part of the way down his thighs, freeing the cock that had remained more or less erect for most of the day. He wrapped his hand around the base and stroked, lips pursed tightly to keep from making any noise. It really sucked being snowed in. Usually when he couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d look like with his cock buried inside you he could just leave, but that wasn’t an option now. The thought of what noises you’d make folded up beneath him were becoming entirely too intrusive.

As the sun had gone down the room had gotten progressively colder and even wrapped up with Tsukki under a small mountain of blankets could hardly warm you. “This sucks,” you whined. “How am I still this cold?!” You tried to scooch closer to Tsukki but there was simply no more contact that could possibly be made. He grunted as you tried to pull his arm tighter around yourself.

“We literally cannot be any closer,” he groused. “The only possible thing we could do at this point is get naked.” You froze in your attempts to cover yourself with him, pretty sure that he heard you audibly swallow at his words. That…was a thing, right? Like, it was legitimate advice offered to those in, uh, similar situations. You tried not to think about his erection pressing into that morning. No, it would be fine and totally not weird. It was survival, that was all. Imagine Tsukki’s surprise when you suddenly started squirming, grappling with your shirt. “What are you doing?!” He leaned away, momentarily thankful that without his glasses he couldn’t see clearly.

“Just shut up and take your shirt off,” you hissed, your face burning with embarrassment. 

“You’re not serious.”

“I don’t want to freeze all night, alright?” You shoved your shirt under the blankets to keep it warmish and folded your arms over your chest, facing firmly away from him. “Just…hurry up!” Speechless, Tsukishima did as bid, also shoving his shirt somewhere under the blankets behind him. But when he resumed his position behind you it was with an obvious gap between your torso and his. “Oh don’t be a chicken,” you said when you realized he intended to stay that way.

There was a long pause before he replied, his voice softer and somehow disarming. It was like he was measuring his words carefully before speaking them. Unbeknownst to you Tsukki was carefully laying the path to an end goal he had been eyeing for some time. “I’m the chicken?” he taunted. “I said the only thing left was to get naked, and here you are too scared to go all in. But I’m the chicken?”

“I’m not scared!” you blustered. “I’m - it’s just…” you trailed off and Tsukki waited for you to continue.

“A chicken,” he said decisively when you failed to do so.

Well. You weren’t about to take that lying down (actually you kind of were, since you were literally lying down, but that was beside the point). With an offended huff you shimmied out of your flannel pants, leaving them wadded up at your feet. “Fine.” You shivered. “There. Happy?”

He was. Delighted, actually. Lying on his back so as to not touch you until he was ready he slipped off his own pants, his cock already half hard. He was careful when he resumed his previous position, taking care that no part of him touched you. Then, before you could complain again, he slowly slid his hand along your back to rest at the curve of your waist.

You were shivering like mad. You had 100% let your pride take the reins and now here you were, naked, in Tsukki’s bed, with him, who was now also naked. Then he touched you, his hand resting heavily on your waist and it was all you could think about, the entirety of your existence focused on that point of contact. He laughed quietly. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

“Excuse you!” You were definitely feeling warmer now for very different reasons. Unfortunately that’s where your brain stalled out, failing to come up with any kind of clever comeback. He snickered and it made you pout.

“Well you got me naked, princess,” he teased. “Now what?”

You squawked in a rather unbecoming way. “It - this was your idea!”

His hand was dragging most distractingly over your waist and down to your hip. “All I did was point out that we couldn’t get any closer.” His fingers traced the dip of your pelvic bone. “You’re the one who started taking clothes off.”

“That is such a lie, Tsukki!” It wasn’t, not entirely, but you didn’t want to admit he was right.

He shifted, his shoulder touching yours. His breath warmed your skin as he leaned close. “A little too eager to get me out of my pants weren’t you?” 

You made a small noise in the back of your throat. “You…” you faltered, struggling to find the words. “You are the worst kind of tease, Tsukishima.”

"You know that's not my name." His voice, suddenly low and rough, so unlike its usual smooth self, had you clenching desperately on nothing.

"You...never want me to use your name." Your voice shook. It was no surprise really, you were trembling like a dry leaf caught in a bitter autumn wind and for once not because of the pervasive cold. His hand was rubbing ever so slowly along your hip, the tickling sensation of his fingertips near overwhelming as he got so close to where you wanted them before pulling away.

Hot, open mouthed kisses decorated your shoulder and up your neck, your skin tingling as goosebumps textured your flesh. His tongue darted out to lick along the shell of your ear before he pressed closer. His cock, hard and hot, so, so hot, dug into the cleft of your ass and you moaned, nearly missing the words he hissed into your ear. "I do when I'm about to fuck you."

Oh. He definitely was not just teasing. That would be too cruel, even for him. "Kei…" you breathed, voice cracking. "Kei," you said again, louder, a whimper catching in your throat as you clawed at the sheets. "Kei, please…"

He groaned. The desperation in your tone, the way you choked back emotion when you said his name. "Good girl," he growled. His teeth sank into your neck and you cried out, shrinking against him only to jerk and arch away as long fingers finally pushed between your legs. You were so wet, slick squelching noises making his eyes close as he pushed two long fingers inside you. "I can't wait to break you, princess."

He might as well have been speaking in tongues as far as your brain's ability to decipher the words you heard. As his fingers filled you over and over again, curling and stretching and rubbing, you rolled on your back, glazed eyes fixing on his face as you wrapped trembling fingers around his neck. His lips were surprisingly soft, his tongue slipping smoothly between your lips to eagerly meet yours. Your legs fell open as you ground your pelvis up against his palm. He chuckled softly, his thumb swiping over your clit. “So needy,” he teased. But the way his cock throbbed against your thigh gave him away, though you could only manage a hiss before pulling him down to kiss you again. 

He certainly didn’t seem to be in a hurry. No matter how you whined or twisted he persisted like you were a new toy he wanted to methodically learn. His lips moved down your neck to your chest, sucking hard along the way, before taking a peaked nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it slowly. His fingers moved inside you just as methodically, seeking the places that had you making the most noise and focusing his attention there.

“Tsu-Kei, please-!” you whined, gripping the pillow so tight your fingers hurt.

“Ah ah,” he chided softly. “You don’t want to be done already, do you?”

“N-no…” you panted. More you thought desperately. “Maybe…fuck!” The ghost of his laugh warmed your skin and you grabbed at his hair. The wet sounds that reverberated in your ears as he fucked you with his fingers was so lewd but you wanted more. “I need…I just - want you inside.”

His tongue dragged a wet path up your neck. He kissed you deeply, sucking on your tongue and groaning when you bit his lip. “But I am inside you,” he said, his fingers stirring your pussy for emphasis. Stars flashed through your vision and you shuddered. Clutching the quilt and the back of his neck you arched upwards.

“Do that again,” you begged. So he did, swirling his fingers in the same motion until you were free falling off the edge, panting into his mouth around his tongue. His fingers, drenched with your release, dug into your thigh roughly as he moved between your legs. His other hand wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you into another feverish kiss. You clung to him, whining as the length of his shaft slid along your slit, dragging against your swollen clit. He rutted against you until his cock was drenched with your slick and you were brokenly begging for him to put it in.

“Can I have you?” he hissed against your lips. He shifted his hips and the velvety head of his cock caught just at the entrance of your throbbing cunt. You inhaled sharply and held your breath, a shocked ‘oh god’ gurgling from the back of your throat as he continued. “Like this?”

“Yes, please, God yes!” You clawed angry red lines down his back to grab at his hips, pulling him forward.

Tsukki had felt something akin to shame jerking off thinking about you in the bathroom before bed but that was long gone now, because he was sure that otherwise he would have come right then from the way your pussy sucked him in. He pushed you back onto the mattress, biting your neck and sucking hard to keep himself from getting lost in the sensation. His back was burning and you were pulling his hair and it felt so fucking good. Every hot, wet, tight inch was both bliss and torture. You were gasping, your body tensing the deeper he went and he quickly realized that was going to be a problem if you kept it up.

You couldn’t see. Your head was spinning and you couldn’t think and you were so full, too full, stretched so good around his cock; his hips rolling in small movements that were both too much and not enough and - suddenly he was gently tapping your cheek, his lips brushing against yours. “Relax, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’m almost there.”

You swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly in the glow of the moonlight. 

Tsukki.

Tsukishima.

Kei. All six feet eight inches of him was on top of you, asking you to relax because you were too tense to take all of his cock. You looked down, bracing your feet and tilting your hips to get a better view before you rolled against him. He groaned and his forehead touched yours as he watched the last inches of his cock disappear inside you. “Good girl,” he breathed. He grabbed the back of your neck and held you, the both of you watching as he moved. Out, out, out; your pussy clenching as he dragged his length out before slowly pushing back in. Again. And again. And again. “Look how good you take me, angel.” God he wanted to make you cry. He wanted to make it so good you’d cry. “I could fuck you like this all night.”

You would let him. You would let him do anything he wanted to you. You made a strangled noise of desperation, clawing at his shoulders, pressing your lips to his in a feverish kiss. When his hand cupped your cheek you grabbed his wrist and repositioned it on your throat. “You have the prettiest hands,” you muttered. “Wanted them to choke me for so long.”

In a flash he shoved your head back into the pillow, his fingers squeezing along the sides of your neck. Not as tightly as you might have wanted, but enough for the pressure to send another gush of arousal to soak the bed beneath you. He forced your head back and shifted his hips, fucking into you with deep strokes. The wet slaps of colliding bodies echoed in the room. You wondered if the neighbors beneath could hear it. Certainly they could hear you. You sounded like an animal, moaning and squealing, your ass bouncing off the mattress to meet his thrusts. Suddenly he stopped, his hips flush against yours, buried completely inside you. You could feel his length twitch and it made you moan. He kissed you slowly, his hand moving to your jaw, squeezing enough to make you keep your mouth open, pulling back to let your combined saliva drip back into your mouth. You pulsed around his cock, unexpectedly enjoying the crude action.

“Kei~!” you whined when even after all that he still wasn’t moving. 

“Quiet.” His chest was flush against you, your face in the curve of his neck. He started to move again, holding you down with his body so you couldn’t do anything but let him fuck you. “You feel so good,” he huffed. “So goddamn tight and wet.” You were flushed with embarrassment, and the fact that you could hear how wet you were as he moved wasn’t helping. Your nails dug into his back and you spread your legs wider, silently encouraging him to keep going.

It wasn’t long before your breath was coming in sharp bursts and you were twitching beneath him. “Kei,” you mumbled, a familiar heat coiling low in your belly. “I - oh fuck - Kei I’m gonna…” you managed to slide your hand between your bodies, your fingers caressing your clit in feathery circles. “If you keep…like this…” Your head was so fuzzy, your nerves drunk on pleasure. Tsukki hardly dared to breathe, maintaining the exact same speed and angle as you brought yourself to another orgasm. The noises you made were better than anything he could have imagined, your body arching, your silken walls clamping and throbbing around him.

“Shit,” he hissed, gripping your hip hard as he fucked you through your orgasm. He should have known the effect that would have. He needed to stop. He needed to pull out. He needed to reign in some kind of semblance of self control before he fucked you full of his cum. “So tight, sweetheart, got me way too close.” In a passing moment of clarity you thought fuck he’s going to come. Perhaps what you should have done was pushed him away. What instead happened was you growling like a depraved animal, scratching his back as you wrapped your legs around him and used the leverage to fuck yourself on his cock. 

“Don’t you dare pull out,” you growled. 

Even if he wanted to, which he didn’t, you held him so tightly he couldn’t. He groaned, his arm around your waist, holding you down on him as he came. You stayed like that for several minutes, bodies twisted together until he finally, slowly, pulled out. “Don’t move.” He brought you a towel and the two of you cleaned up and redressed in silence. When he climbed into bed you curled around him. Your face tucked into his neck, your legs tangled with his, and your fingers threaded in the back of his curly hair. He kissed the top of your head, his hand sliding under your shirt to caress your back.

“For the record,” he said suddenly a minute later. “You might be sleeping in here from now on but you still have to pay rent.”

You giggled, gently pulling his hair. “Only if you agree to rescind the ‘no fucking on the couch’ rule.”

“Keep pulling my hair and I guess we’ll find out.”

“It’s freezing don’t you dare!” You’d only just managed to warm up the bed. He laughed smugly and truth be told you were half tempted to test him. You told yourself that would be tomorrow’s goal.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

I'm so tired, shares replenish me.

[doodleferp]

Cara and Miguel Starter Pack

So let me start from the beginning one last time. Once upon a time, Cara was yeeted into Earth-928 thanks to some fucky Lovecraftian nonsense from her fucky Lovecraftian dimension. After meeting Miguel, who was a baby Spider-Man back then, Cara was denied access back to her world thanks to some sibling disputes. She spun a little web of lies for Miguel’s then-fianceé Dana, and they took pity on her and decided to help her out. I’m pretty sure you know the rest. They moved her in with Dana, saved the city, humorously acclimated Cara to the city, buried Dana, got married to get Cara a green card, and ended up actually falling in love.

This works off of a timeline of events that I established myself and it's subject to change if more information from the films comes out. General consensus is that Miguel was born in 2070, so he was 29 when he got his powers IN 2099. But since he’s 35 in AtSV, that means about six years have passed since then.

Cara is five foot even. She’s a tiny little thing who has the love of a fucking giant. As the tall one, Miguel is often asked to help get things from places she can’t reach. But instead of grabbing the thing like a normal person, Miguel grabs Cara under her arms, lifts her up, and holds her up so she’s the perfect height to grab the thing herself. He does this everywhere. The apartment, the Spider Society, the grocery store, his office at Alchemax, etc.

Cara likes to wear a helmet instead of a mask because she’s being tossed around constantly and feels safer with that kind of head protection. Miguel, however, fucking hates the helmet and takes every opportunity to show Cara his Pepe Silvia board about why she should trade it out for the mask he made her. Cara will sit patiently through all of it, and then she’ll go “Would you like me to crack my head open?” And he shuts up for another week. (Oh, he also made her current suit all by himself.)

These two are like...so gossipy Mostly Miguel, but Cara indulges him a lot. Ofc they have those bedtime pillow talks where they're both reading or Miggy's on his laptop and they'll go on about something someone did that day. They'll be swinging through the city and talking shit about Internet drama or some dweeb from a restaurant. Miguel will hit her up on his lunch hour and give her all the Alchemax tea, complete with examining his nails like the mean popular girl from a Disney Channel Original Movie. If he thinks someone's eavesdropping, he'll start talking in really fast Spanish so they can't get what he's saying. Needless to say, Cara had to learn Spanish really fast just to keep up with him.

They both adore snuggling. Miguel is like Cara’s weighted blanket and she can’t sleep without him anymore because he just envelops her (Fig 1). He’ll spoon her, he’ll let her sleep on his chest and hold her there. He’ll do everything short of actually sleeping on top of her (Fig 2) and he does that at least once a month. However, he always wakes up at 4 AM to use the bathroom, and Cara always wakes up because she no longer has her big warm blanket man. Thankfully, she goes right back to sleep once he comes back to bed. It’s to the point where they have trouble sleeping without the other in the bed because Cara needs the weight on her and Miguel needs something to cuddle.

Since Cara and her sisters got some fucky eldritch nonsense going on with their blood, they…I guess a bit more compatible with other dimensions. They can’t travel between them at will, of course, but they don’t glitch because they got that interdimensional cosmic horror in em. When Miguel somehow starts monitoring the ItSV movie, he’s flabbergasted when he sees the other Spiders glitching and he goes to Cara like “these people are literally dying and it hasn’t been a week, how the shock did you survive SIX YEARS”.

Cara’s actually good at a lot of household chores, so she offers to help around the apartment when she isn’t working. And thanks to Spider nonsense, she can get really thorough with it. Miguel has come home multiple times to see her standing on the ceiling changing light bulbs or cleaning something on the ceiling. It saves him tons since he got to opt out of the building's cleaning service, but it still gives him a heart attack every now and then.

They have had long arguments about whether or not killing spiders counts as murder since they’re both half-spider. Cara scoops them up on a piece of paper and puts them out the window or something. Miguel just puts them out of their misery.

As I’m sure everyone reading this has deduced, these two are a very...hands-on couple. They have been banned from being in the Spider Society’s gym at the same time because of it. As in "when one of them goes in, the other is automatically locked out" kind of banned. Thank Peter B for that -- as in, genuinely thank him because he's saved a lot of minors from seeing a couple spider mutants getting freaky.

Not exactly shippy, but Miguel and Cara's sister Cadence do not get along. At all. They hate each other with a burning passion. Cadence is positive he's that archetypical dudebro who's going to drag Cara down, and Miguel is rightfully pissed that she's hostile to him for existing. Cara unfortunately has to get in the middle of them and keep things calm, and thankfully Miguel is willing to make an effort. Cadence is less than accommodating though, so the occasional cross-dimensional family visits are always interesting.

c. doodleferp, 2024. do not steal or repost.

[tonberry-yoda]

HALLOOO AGAIN ITSA MEEE

ᵀʰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶦᵈᵗ ʸᵘ ᵏⁿᵒ ʷʰᵒ ᵐᵉᵉ ᶦˢ-

to say you is speed is an understatement- i too, get excited when i see you posting croc man content- your writing is just muah 💪💪💪💪

Also- yes i would like a nickname :D, dats hec COOL-

Behold,

✨Helicopter anon✨

Bc ykno- it goes brrrr and brrr is good for health 😌

ANYWAY- HERES ANOTHERRRR

I hope im not spamming requests- you can take your time of course 😤

These are just ideas for you :)

Ok business time 👹

👏Crocman dad👏trying👏to👏protect👏his👏child's👏innocence 👏

Like crocodile has bad habits right-: smoking (a l o t o f s m o k i n g), mafia business, cussing, angery and stuff like that.

To start- He wont smoke around his child, if his child appears out of nowhere he would most prob like yeet his cigar somewhere HAHAHAHAH

Doesnt talk about his underworld business when his child is present, imagine his agents or his clients coming in straight up with details of his work like "sir i got rid of tha-" *croc staring daggers at dem with his kid playing in his office*

Also, since he spends alot of time with his wife and child, when there is a needed time to k e e l somebody he just hands his child that he's holding, to his wife c a l m l y and the wife who knows whats abouta go down and just goes "whoops lets go buy ice cream shall we" *walks away* bc queen knows 😌

He just avoids everything possibly bad

I hope this gave you some ideas-

Again, you can take 1% of these or add and its still foine

Thank youuuu

HAVE A GDAY GDAYYYYY✨😤

OH MY GOODNESS, i was waiting for you to put in another request lol. i love your requests so much they give me so much writing inspiration! seriously though, your requests are amazing. And helicopter anon is literally perfect, when i tell you me and my sister were cracking up when you chose that name. I love it. and i love these croc as a father writings, they are so good! now onward! i did what i could, so please enjoy and have a great day helicopter anon!! <333

Croc as a father part 4!

Warnings - none!

Word Count - 550

Notes - again, thank you for the request helicopter anon! i love these and now my requests are finally open so you can request another if you're down!! have a great day and i really hope you enjoy!!! stay hydrated!!! <33333 (image not mine)

and now requests are OPEN!!! please check my pinned post before requesting!!

“Dear,” you played with the collar of Crocodile’s button up trying to ignore the cigar smoke flying around your face. “I've been meaning to talk to you about…” you flicked his cigar and he giggled, kissing your neck. “This.”

“Huh?” Crocodile moved from his neck looking down at his cigar. “This? What about this?”

“Uhm… It's just… our son. I don't want-”

“Oh, I haven't been doing it around him.”

You tilted your head, trying to think back to the times of all of you hanging out together. “You haven't?”

“Nope. You think I want my six year old to know what I do for a living?”

You giggled and played with the bottom of Croc’s hair. “I don't know why I ever doubted you.”

If Crocodile was being fully honest with you though, it was the most impossible thing he had to do. Hiding your mafia identity from a sporadic child was hands down the hardest thing in the world.

For example, one time, he was just in his office working when his six year old burst in the room making airplane noises as he ran back and forth with a toy plane. Crocodile has never thrown something so long and far, but his cigar ended up on the other side of the room while his child turned to him with a goofy smile asking what that was.

Or when Crocodile was teaching his son how to use a map and one of his employees walked in.

“Sir, we took care of the body you wanted us to hi-”

Crocodile had never stared at someone with such force. He pointed to his child who was coloring the map with sharks and fish and pointed to the door, forcing his employee out.

All Crocodile’s son knew Crocodile to be a big teddy bear. Someone who would help him whenever he had a nightmare. Someone who loved his momma with all of his heart and soul. Someone he looked up to.

Crocodile knew that eventually he would have to tell his son about his business, hopefully have him take it over when the time came. But for now he was learning. Trying to figure out the world. The last thing he needed to know was Crocodile’s grudge against Monkey D. Luffy and the fact that he had been to jail and that he had committed multiple crimes. That was for another day.

Whenever he was curious though, it was always your job to step up.

“Honey,” Crocodile handed you your son, his employees standing behind him. “I have to go take care of something. Take him out to go get some frozen yogurt and get yourself something nice, love.”

He placed a kiss on your head and your sons, walking out of the room with that evil, but sexy look on his face that made you swoon.

“Momma?” You set your son down and grabbed his hand. “Where’s daddy going?”

You just smiled and rubbed the top of his jet black hair. “He's going to work dear.”

“What does daddy do for work?”

You grabbed the keys off of the wall and smirked. “Daddy takes care of business, buddy.”

You kissed him on the forehead and took him out for frozen yogurt while Crocodile did just that.

Take care of business.

[overpoweredcacti]

CME 17x10 thoughts (and prayers)

Jesus Christ I’m finally home after accidentally sabotaging my own morning (okay sabotage may be harsh. I have a job now that I signed all the necessarily paperwork lol but I had to go around the city for hours. This Pacific time Midnight airtime is ridiculous, that’s 9 am for me. By then I usually have to pretend to be a functioning adult human being).

I don’t really do this usually, but it is the finale, so. I will try my hand and liveblogging. This will be long.

Some preliminary thoughts though:

I think Church and Jade both survive and it’s Mila who dies

I just don’t see any of the main cast dying. Maybe Rossi, but this show is attached to its actors so much that this would only happen if Joe wanted out, and I’m not sure I can see that happening?

the last Gold Star Peter B. is most probably Peter Bailey

I don’t trust Phil Coulson the Director

Voit has to die. I think. Narratively he just can’t live. So my guess is that he will be killed (maybe on FBI higher up orders) and it will be framed as a suicide. But the BAU would obvious know that doesn’t match his profile cue S18

Well then.

55 minutes hmm, okay. I thought we would get at least an hour, there’s so much going on.

Connection Lost. For all of them??

20 minutes Rebecca and Garcia has been sitting in that office, waiting. That does wonders for someone’s nerves I bet

needs to reboot the system (“have you tried turning it off and on again?” xd)

I’M sorry they didn’t know the building just fucking exploded? xdxd

also still Minimal Loss vibes

okay but everyone seemed fine on the promo pics (minus Emily) so how if they all exploded

I don’t buy it lol

halluciVoit is back

the team is okay

okay see. how lucky do you have to be though to survive an explosion without a scratch

unless they pull a Dallas and the next 30 minutes is just Dave dying and dreaming shit lol that would be iconic

okay Mila surrendered maybe she’s not dying. But how does Rossi get rid of the head wound?

oooh okay so it is a kidnapping situation. Because Jade still thinks the BAU is in cahoots with Church

“you’ve been charged with pedophilia” love that we are not sugarcoating it lol

OKAY so I didn’t think it would be so abrupt. But okay dude deserved it.

Ooh the shot of the dripping blood as he’s carted away? Brilliant.

are we about to see Emily get yeeted

that was a very mild blast without the sound effects lol

are you taking some of the voltage? that’s..a choice. I’m also unsure if that would even work

again with the camera, literally shaking off the memory how cool

listen I know we are supposed to be scared for Emily but it’s Emily. Not even she looks phased lol

holy shit the writing remembers past events. Unbelievable

okay I was recently talking about Person of Interest so that’s probably why the scene is in my mind, but whoever knows about it: This is straight up Vigilance and Control in the mock trial in S3

okay so since Peter B. is most definitely Bailey I’m guessing that’s how Emily will eventually get through to them? By the fact the she knew Doug?

criminal mastermind Brian Garrity reveal when

are you serious? that’s a prison? That’s a vacation home. I've slept in worse places that I paid for

HE HAS A MICROWAVE?

is this actually a thing in America? Okay not my business but damn

“the only thing I miss is you” VoitxRossi is sailing

yes it’s definitely Doug’s brother

yeeah

see that’s a problem because I’m pretty sure Emily holds herself responsible too xd

“does this body language tell you anything” yeah that you’re a fucker

lil bro kinda low key looks like a young Jonathan Groff

so where were you at the funeral? flashback to Emily meeting the parents but not him I’m guessing?

okay flashback but not about that

“really?” “No,” xdxdxdxdx pls. yes. thank you. OG moment. God. Love that

“You scream only child.” Emily. You’re an only child.

"I have a sister" No you don’t. Where did that come from.

Okay was she manipulating him or did they just drop this out of nowhere breaking 17 seasons of previous lore because both are a legitimate possibility.

“why weren’t you at Doug’s funeral” thank you

yeah see I like that this is coming back. Because the DOJ really dropped the ball on Benjamin Reeves

all that said Clark Gregg is still suspicious

so the teenager who is rebellious and anti-government gets into juvie where the government paid private military company trains him to be an assassin through abuse. Nice job there xd

“I’m not threatening your career” love the energy

you literally didn’t have to keep any of that from the BAU though.

THAT’s when you knew you had a crisis? Bruh

“a pilates instructor” xdxd Rebecca’s wit is underappreciated tbh

“he may or may not have information” “fuck you” 💀

are we having a discussion about the real life confines of four dimensional chess. My guy that’s a meme.

Aww JJ basically admitting they are going to get fucked over but hey it’s Emily, they gotta

“he wanted to wear comfy clothes” this bitch.

“back at it like a crack addict” you know what I retroactively would like to witness the birth of lines like this in the writer’s room

 I mean yeah sure but child trafficking does exist tho xd

okay they are cute…

“god forbid you end up on that wall” uff.

aaah you were taking the photos. But who were the guys working for you? I was absolutely sure it was Church. He had the resources, you don’t

see this is where the conspiracy theory conversations become a bit funny, because Emily is completely right, they are about amplification of fear, doubt etc. Also they help reconcile with events that we can’t make logical sense of. It’s honestly an incredibly human thing to do and they have always been around, they are not new.

That said when you introduce shit like the FBI or the CIA a lot of things that used to be “conspiracy theories” have since been reveled to have been true 💀 so people being distrustful towards these organizations are not that unreasonable when you think about it. And even in-universe the BAU has done shady shit? So.

“babe” xdxd okay so maybe Jade is dying. They have built her up to be sympathetic but they are slowly losing that angle narratively? Slowly tho

oh? is that how we’ll get to the bottom of BAUgate?

“Jenny”. can JJ slap him, just once?

the way everyone is so done with him

sometimes I do like Tyler

bit of a CGI house there lol

not Garcia psyching him out

chocolate thunder

oh, Oh?

“I put you in” I?. I??

oh my god. no. that’s vile. even within an already vile context. people have been pointing out the similarities but jesus christ

okay Emily is doing talk no jutsu about Doug

told you she does feel responsible

oooh. oh.

where do people buy so much C4

(hypothetically of course)

yeah I mean obviously not going to happen. But I get the plan there

also the team either knows that’s the endgame of they are just being very optimistic about Emily still being alive lol

of course it’s a trap. Was that really such a big revelation Dave xd

“who think we are the enemy” Tara. Babe. You kind of are to them xd

okay maybe they will survive this. Or Pete might. Jade could still kill herself. Or each other.

yeah she knows 😭

Radiohead?

passive aggressive action report

thank you for calling him out on this

no I still don’t trust Clark Gregg

is Emily going to low key blackmail the Director xd that would be very stupid. And also incredibly in character

yeah they have pretty much said it before that Tyler would be the “next generation”

“Hooray you’re alive” xd

Rebecca just got a haircut? She looks nice. But how much time had passed then.  

“the shoes” 💀 that’s so fair

oh his “ghost” just standing in the bg

okay so he either escapes, in which case the showrunners completely lied about leaving him behind in S18 lol or he dies. Maybe he gets shanked. A girl can dream

I was joking xdxdxdx 💀

uff not the bleach

oh my god he really got shanked. holy shit

I mean yes thank you

but holy shit

so we have zero idea on what happens in S18. Zero. that’s nice.

Okay, closing thoughts. It was a good episode, but a bit underwhelming on the conspiracy side of things? And as a finale? I mean they kept saying how it’s “bigger than we thought” but it really wasn’t? Also it kind of takes away from the suspense that we know none of these characters are ever dying lol But ultimately it did close off loose ends. But I really would have appreciated some implication that Voit was killed on someone’s orders to continue some kind of a plot thread? Realistically the writers probably haven’t decided on that yet lol Did like that we acknowledged that the Gold Star kids were victims but…at the end of the day who was the perpetrator?

No, I still don’t trust Clark Gregg. Also can we get back to Emily having a sister what is that about

[zutarawasrobbed]

I posted 123 times in 2022

49 posts created (40%)

74 posts reblogged (60%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-badger-mole

@zutaramonth

@stardust948

@sneezypeasy

@zutarawasrobbed

I tagged 102 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#zutara - 78 posts

#zuko - 37 posts

#katara - 36 posts

#atla - 27 posts

#avatar the last airbender - 12 posts

#anti kataang - 7 posts

#anti maiko - 6 posts

#atla original scripts - 6 posts

#anti k@taang - 5 posts

#incorrect quotes - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#what kind of grown ass man thinks “hmm i should murder this child for disagreeing with my idea?”

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Honestly, after the shit Aang pulled at the ember island players, I 100% would’ve supported the episode ending with Aang walking in on Zuko and Katara making out.

509 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#4

Sokka: Katara, how many times do I have to tell you-

Katara: Because you don’t know how he feels about me! What if he doesn’t like me? He’s gonna be the Fire lord in a few days.

Sokka: He literally jumped in front of lightning for you! I think it’s clear!

Katara: Pshhh, he would’ve done that for anyone and you know that.

Sokka: … *Deadpan* He used Suki as momentum to save you from falling rocks when his sister found us at the air temple. Suki was just lucky his shove happened to get her out of the way too. I don’t think he’d do that for just anyone.

Katara: No he didn’t-

Suki: Yes, he did. He flat out told me.

513 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#3

Suki: Why don’t you just tell Katara how you feel?

Zuko: *Scoffs* Are you crazy?!?! That’s the stupidest thing I could ever do. We just started to be friends!!! No. I’ve made enough reckless decisions in my life.

Also Zuko: *Yeets himself directly into lighting*

682 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#2

Guys..

The original script adds so much context for a lot of scenes, but this one?

Zuko didn’t just start sleeping next to Katara because he wanted to be close to her. He also wanted to be close enough to protect her from another ambush and bomb attack.

And Katara could sleep with a smile on her face because she knew Zuko would be there to protect her. Zuko gave her the opportunity to sleep without being alert 100% of the time for the first time in probably forever…

I’m not okay 😭

696 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Katara: So, let me get this straight. You were in a war meeting... thirteen years old… defended new recruits from being used as fodder… and in return, you were challenged to an Agni Kai- at thirteen- by the officer who proposed it… But on the day of the Agni Kai, you- at thirteen years old- were met by your father… who you refused to fight… and instead of calling it off… he burnt half your face off and banished you?

Zuko: Yes…

Katara: *Nods* Excuse me.

2 Hours Later…

Ozai: *Cell opens* What-

Katara: It’s a full moon tonight.

Ozai: … Why-

Katara: *Sighs and starts sand timer* You have 10 seconds.

Ozai: *Apprehensive* For what?

Katara: To run, before I gut you like a fish 😁

1,918 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[breitzbachbea]

I wrote a Charco drabble that is very much actually about their families. Yeet.

~*~

"What's it like to be an only child?" Marco asked one day. Lorenzo in the kitchen, Marco spread on the sofa, in between fabric samples. Charlie was toying with a model car that Marco had gifted him and helped him with. Classic case of the gifter had himself in mind as well.

Charlie smiled at him with a frown and then shrugged. "Better than having siblings, I suppose. I dinnae. I mean, I basically grew up around Harry and Soph, because their Ma, Freya, was my Ma's best friend. I got more gifts than others, bigger ones. Well, until my dad ... you know, didn't see eye to eye with my wishes anymore." He had picked up the car and looked through the windows with one eye shut, to figure if it was crooked. "But I don't really know. More freedom? You tell me what it was like with six - I mean seven - siblings and tight money. That's more like what Ma tells, she was the third of five."

"I dunno," Marco said. Leg over the backrest. Sinfully expensive velvet blue fabric draped over the leg that stuck in US Palermo shorts. Somehow pretty sexy. "You had a lot of freedom, because no one cares for you."

"Chiara tried!" Lorenzo shouted from the kitchen and Marco nodded.

"You never had a quiet moment," Marco said. "And yet you were ... alone. Our brothers and sisters tried, but ... what do you want with a 6 year old if you're 20. You're family, but we could see some didn't care for us. Or for mamma or papà, or anyone except that sibling or so. Like ... it's family. Everyone was trapped there."

Charlie wondered what it would take for his extended family to finally burn bridges with him and Gwen. Or why they didn't simply do it - No more outrage baiting. Straight up no more wedding visits or baptisms or anything. The Fitzpatrick Clan could do without Charlie and Gwendolyn Higgins.

One time he had heard his mother lose it at his father.

"Look, your family's talking, too," was all Connor had said. Charlie was hanging on the stairs, waiting to sneak out with friends.

Connor had made sure Charlie looked at least like a police officer's son. And Gwen had been somewhat thankful, because Connor's sighs had more love to them than her family's. Connor helped. Connor didn't want his wife to be judged either.

But now he had sided with her family and that was a step too far for Gwendolyn 'The black sheep' Fitzpatrick.

Charlie had fled the stairs when the yelling had turned into banging doors.

"Charlie?" Marco jolted him out of his thoughts and he cringed so hard he almost dropped the car.

"Yes?"

"You weren't listening, were you?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm listening now."

"Nah, it's for the better." Charlie wondered how his boyfriend could look so enticing to him, just because of the stupid velvet on his leg. He'd look good in a kilt. Cheeky, but dignified. "I honestly think others have it worse. Families who cared and were cared for. Other people took pity on our sisters. On us, as we were younger, until we began to be too bratty. Too upset everyone thought twins were a package deal. But no one expected shit of us when we left at 12. Too many mouths to feed anyways." He scratched his head and looked away.

"Do you see them around sometimes?" Charlie asked. "Bagheria is just around the corner."

"Sure," Marco said. "I think. At least."

"Hard to tell," it came from the kitchen. "Sometimes you catch a name and the face fits, but ... they never recognize us."

"If they do, they look away as if they've seen a ghost. Never saw Chiara again, though."

"She's either dead or moved away," Lorenzo said. Monotone, but with a somewhat downcast tone. Like Marco.

Some family ties maybe weren't meant to be severed and one had gotten the scissors out anyways.

Marco bulked up the fabric and Charlie put the car down. He could flirt a bit before dinner.

[mrthoughtbubbles]

Hi Yeet,

How are you? I hope that you’re enjoying your time with your family and friends. Today, I spent time playing a new computer game with my brother from another mother, along with his office mate. I enjoy spending my time with him because he likes to joke around a lot, he’s lively and he’s a really cool dude, in my eyes. It’s been quite a while since I last played with him, and I’m happy that we’re able to joke around again.

On another note, Yeet, I have to share with you something that I’m embarassed to share with anyone except my mother… Except for a few games, like warframe, I kind of feel guilty playing computer games… I feel guilty because I don’t have a stable income and I feel guilty that I don’t have a 9-5 job, like every body else, due to my fear of being bullied by my superiors… I feel paralyzed between feeling guilty and feeling anxious about the prospect of being bullied by my superiors again… I only shared this with you and mama, but I don’t like sharing it with papa or my sisters… I shared it with you because I want to show you what I’m feeling, even if I feel embarrassed about it… Mama comforted me by telling me that this is only temporary and there’s something that’s really meant for me…

Aside from having time with my brother from another mother, I also enjoyed my time talking with my mother and my younger sister about films, actors/actresses, comedians, films we would like to see in the future, jokes, vampires, Constantine and angels, and a lot more.  It warms my heart that I got to experience that today, even if my sister was busy with her work.

On the random information I’ll share with you, everyone with blue eyes can be traced to one ancestor between 6,000-10,000 years ago. Hair,skin and eye color is dictated by melanin and the mutation that happened to that certain ancestor gave us people with blue eyes. Everyone originally had brown eyes, but due to changes in melanin, we got blue and other eye colors, like green, for example.

I’ll guess I’ll end my message here for tonight. I hope that you’re doing well, recuperating well, enjoying life with your loved ones, or even strangers, appreciate your relationship with everyone around you, thankful for the little things that God puts in front of you, and I’m always praying every night that God will take care of you, look after you, and love you. Good night, take care, sieze the day, pray/talk to God, and remember that I love you, Yeet!

[flawedconqueror]

Phrases I heard over the years from people:

Look at how they treated Prince

He deserved better 

And indeed he did

Um why is she crying?

Fair question, especially after how she treated us you put on quite a show at the funeral though *rih rih voice* go on and take a bow - you couldn’t fool me or God though

....

I also had countless thoughts 

And I take responsibility: I could’ve done more

I also shouldn’t have been so reliant on people

I naively thought we’d all rally together to find a common solution

People I thought I could confide in

I should’ve realise that sooner and act 

It’s morally abhorrent to leave someone with severe mental illness in a shelter to die

And this is what bothers me to. this. day.

I didn’t consider the day he was found the day he died

He died the moment people decided to leave him in the shelter

We gave up on him

He literally was missing 

As an oracle I said, and I must emphasise this as I didn’t even want to utter these words from my mouth but I felt to compelled to months before he died -  and more than once  - by the way. sometimes a whisper but I nevertheless did:

Don’t let them come to the door and say they found him somewhere

But alas my word on deaf ears

And that’s exactly what happened

A police man came to the door, thank God I wasn’t home and said, his body was found somewhere

Then he asked - 

And I can imagine the officer’s bewilderment, confusion when he asked my aunt and uncle this question:

How does someone who lives here (nice middle-class-ish area, quietish on the outskirts)...end up there?

i’ll tell you officer with words like: why do we have take care of children that aren’t ours?

so it’s an easier decision to yeet someone to the street to fend for themself, you remove yourself from the situation. tell whatever lie you need to appease your dark, dark heart. you even have the audacity to tell his sister he’s okay when you don’t have a damn clue where he is when you are so far removed from the situation.

Samuel my cousin’s close friend asked why he was in a shelter

I have the very, same questions as well and the fact that one of my aunt’s suggested his final resting place is beyond me

The indifference, apathy

Made me livid, indignant 

Christianity is all nice cookie cutter

But when it requires you to actually live the tenets like give up your life

And love your neighbour as yourself

Then people suddenly forget what being a Christian is

Screw it

So enters disillusionment, anarchy, frustration

Being angry won’t bring him back but it is an injustice and I’m over the fake pretences 

[benevolentpanda]

Emotional-Fandom-Soup here, you have Vulcan OCs? 👀

Can you tell me a bit about them?

(don't mind the anon, it's a side blog^^;;)

OMGOSH, I APOLOGIZE!!! I didn't see this ask til now 😭.

But to answer your question....YES. I do have Vulcan ocs and a soon to come Romulan oc. Only only one of them has a name though and his name is Zebed (translation- Za’bezhun "Eyes on the back of his head") . He's a Vulcan oc for the Star Trek AOS timeline. I have this fanfiction/novelette idea for him and his friends and the cast of Star Trek AOS. It's not down on paper though and it's kept in a file in my brain LOL (I'm too nervous to write Star Trek fanfiction).

ANYWAY, I will give you a quick summary about Zebed. He was born and raised on Vulcan. He comes from a prestigious/old fashioned family. His father wasn't very fond of him because of a genetic problem from his mother's side of the family (difficulty in controlling certain emotions and hormone imbalances. So his dad basically made him attend strenuous classes with a Vulcan master to help control emotions and so forth). His father was very strict with him because of this and one day Zebed ran away and joined a human colony who were traveling to a new livable planet with the aid of the Federation and Vulcan ships. Sadly, that large travel shuttle suddenly crash landed on another planet ( interference and odd atmospheric energy). Zebed and a few survivors were able to live on the strange planet for a few years until Zebed was able to figure out a way to send a help signal. During his time on the planet, he became close with a human girl (she's another oc of mine for this story) and some other children. They became like brother and sister (her name is Alma and she's half human/half Shuudarian.) He didn't like her at first but her personality grew on him and he basically baby sat her all the time 🤣lol (she is a menace). After he and the others get rescued, he's taken back to Vulcan and his father basically tells him that he won't amount to anything and he must pursue a Vulcan life style and stop acting so..."emotionally". So Zebed snubs his father again and turns down the Vulcan school elders of work positions. He basically YEETS himself to Star Fleet after finding out his human bestie is attending there. He becomes an assistant medical chief officer and falls in love with his bestie's full blood Shuudarian older sister. There is more I want to tell but this would be extra long LOL.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading some about my beloved Zebed! Unfortunately, I don't have any personal art of him that I have drawn yet. When I do, I will definitely post it here on my blog.

[juskru]

It actually happened. Supergirl is over.

I usually lose my mind while watching the episodes, posting as many stupid and sassy comments as I can come up with 😆

But not this Tuesday.

Couldn't come up with anything. Still can't, to be honest. So this post won't be my finest job 🙈

Ever since the finale it's been a mix of being about to combust at any second and feeling hollow at the same time. What kind of sorcery is this? 🤨

Fucking pissed Disappointed that we didn't get the Supercorp we needed? Of course.

Surprised? No. 😂 As the main targets of the showrunners blatant greed and malice to increase ratings at all costs - including our hearts and sanity - were we ever surprised? 🙄

Doesn't mean it hurts any less.

But we did get our Supercorp 💖

After everything that's happened in these 5 years, especially this last season, we know very well that Supercorp is more than real. It just wasn't as obvious as our girls deserved because fuck you coward homophobic showrunners, I'll despise you for the rest of my life 🖕.

Mirrored/synchronized gestures. Longing glances. Comfort seeking. A way of staring at each other that is reserved only for them.

Instant change in mood and body language when seeing each other. Refusing to allow the other to be in any kind of danger and yet never hesitating to put themselves in harm's way for them.

Literally risking the safety of the entire universe for one another. Defying the laws of physics to create solutions to ensure their protection. Never giving up on each other, even when everybody else did.

Unadmitted confessions.

This scene still makes my heart skip several beats 👆

"I know how much your sister means to you Alex, and yet today you made the most painful sacrifice because it was the right thing to do, and I... I don't think I could do that"

Then we have Alex yeeting all reason to the sun, taking all the totems to Lex to save Esme 😏

"I believe in you"

"It's only because you're on the team that I'm here"

And Kara LEANED IN, bruh! 🤣😭🙌🙌

Alex's reaction was so delicious 😂 And loud!

And countless other moments 😌

And Queller and Rovner have the AUDACITY of trying to pass their feelings as just friendship?? When people that don't even watch the damn thing can see right away that they're in love? 🤦🏻‍♀️

"My office is overflowing with flowers"

"You're the only person in the galaxy I know will do right by it"

"For a friend like you, there are no boundaries"

"You protected me from losing a part of myself. You always do"

They have something that's so uniquely theirs. So easy to see, hard to explain and impossible to deny.

"It's not just what I feel for you. It's what I do not feel for anyone but you" (not sure who the author is)

I know it sucks not having the ending we wanted, even a Korrasami style one. But we still got it.

But the sheer insolence of choosing to develop a faux romantic relationship between the bald psychopath and the imp in the few remaining episodes instead of allowing Kara's 5-year relationship with Lena to take its natural course for no other excuse than the fact that Lena is a woman - as the fandom discussed multiple times, had either Lena or Kara been a man, their actions would've been seen as romantic a looong fucking time ago - is just grotesque.

If the showrunners only intent was to queerbait us to finish the series with strong ratings, then they shot themselves in the foot, because all they did was comfirm what we all knew since the very first time the best Luthor graced the screen with her presence 😂

"Of all the friends I've ever had, you have pushed me the most. Challenged me the most"

"You've made me a better person"

It happened. Supercorp happened. That's a fact. And no you can't change my mind, and no this is not up for debate. Go pester someone else u.ú

There's only so much the actors can do when they're being suffocated by the assholes that call the shots. But it's more than just the script.

Everything that was within Melissa's and Katie's (and the rest of the cast too, specially Chyler, I love you babe) power to give us, they did it with beautiful and brilliantly thoughtful acting choices - easiest way to see this is by muting the sound of supercorp scenes (specially the finale) and focus only on what they're trying to show you. Look at their eyes and where they're going, their faces and bodies, their touches. They're trying to show you what the script won't allow them to say with words.

They fought for us till the very end 💖

Ugh their love is soooo loud! 😭

All in all, the show ended with the characters on their way to happiness, feeling at peace with themselves, full of hope for the future. A happy ending to all of them. In the end that's all we wish for the people we care about ❤

That alone was better than most series out there - again, I'm looking at you cw ಠ ωಠ ( っ'-')╮ =͟͟͞͞💣

As much as I would've loved to see a big wet tongue-sucking kiss, my babies have a whole future ahead of them where that's gonna happen (shout out to all you beautiful magicians out there giving us endless heartwarming content 😘).

All things considered, I'm fine with that ❤

I think the weight in my chest comes from not being able to say "there's always next season", "there's always next episode" anymore. And the cast is so incredibly sweet and genuine that knowing they won't be around their little found family as often, and we won't be a part of that as much, is making me miss them that much more.

Don't even get me started on all the scenes from the finale that weren't shown in every country and the big chunk of dialog that was removed; I'm still livid at that 😤

I really really hope the fandom gives Queller and Rovner absolute HELL from now on 😈

Don't touch the actors nor the writers or anybody else in the crew. They have no say at all in what happens in a show. What we see on the screen is what the showrunners allow.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #980: Niijima Sisters' Bonding Time (Persona 5)

1:46 p.m. In the Streets of Shiyuba.........

Sae: (Sighs Heavily as She Walk Next to Her Little Sister) I never thought I would ever be happier to not go back to that office for a few days....

Makoto: Work starting to overwhelm you again, sis?

Sae: Unfortunately. Annoying clients, mountain stacks of paperwork....And don't even get me started on all the convoluted cases I've worked on so far this month! (Places her Hand on her Forehead) It's a miracle I never ripped out my own hair yet....

Makoto: You know, I've always wondered what you would look like with short hair.

Sae: (Shrugs) Eh. I'll probably look average. But enough about my tedious work life, let's focus on something more important and special for today.

Makoto: The celebration of my birth and my first step into womanhood?~ (Smiles Brightly)

Sae: I was...gonna say the day we finally spend quality time together, but yeah. That too. Still....(Gives Makoto an Unsure Look on her Face) are you sure you wanna start off with a sparring match with me?

Makoto: (Happily Nodded) Yeah. It's been a while since we've done it after all. And who knows? (Starts Smiling Confidently) Maybe this will be the day where I actually beat you this time-

Three Rounds of Sparring Matches Later......

Makoto gets judo flipped and yeeted into the floor by her own big sister with a yelp.

'THUD'

Makoto: ('Groans in Pain and Defeat') Damnit......

Sae: (Kneels Down With One Knee While Looking Down at Makoto with a Bit of a Smug Look on her Face) Another round goes to yours truly, little sister~

Makoto: It has been nearly a decade since we've last sparred....(Raises her Habds up in Frustration) How the hell are you still this STRONG!?

Sae: Just because I've spent the entirely of my adulthood as a prosecutor, doesn't mean abandoned my training completely. In fact, usually come here to hone my skills during lunch breaks.

Makoto: (Groans Again While Rolling her Eyes) And you wonder why I kept pestering you to make friends in the office.

Sae: Hey, excuse me for not having much of a connection with my peers. And besides, I have friends! S-Sure most of them are....from your friends group and...one of them is a talking bear and a bird, b-b-but that counts for something, right!?

Makoto: (Sighs as She Gets Herself Up) I suppose it does...(Smiles a Little) I'm glad you're getting along with then.

Sae: (Happily Nodded in Agreement) Me too. So I believe next in our schedule is to go shopping?

Makoto: Yep. Ooh! Could we go to the Karaoke Bar downtown after that?

Sae: Not much of a singer myself, but sure why not-

As her phone suddenly begins to buzz inside her pants pocket, Sae takes it out and reads the message that was sent to her by Futuba.

Futuba: If u guys planning on going to a Karaoke Bar later on today, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, let Makoto sing Baka Mitai!!!

Futuba: Srsly. Ur Eyes will thank me later.

Futuba: Tell ur sis happy birthday btw!~ Luv u! Byyyyyye!~（*＾3＾)/～♡

Sae raises an eyebrow in confusion before turning back to Makoto.

Sae: Heyyyy, Makoto? Quick question: What kind of song is... (Looks Back at her Phone For a Brief Second Before Looking Back Up to Makoto) Baka Mitai again?

Makoto: (Eyes Immediately Glows Up in Excitement) Only the best song that ever been composed in Yakuza 0!~ (Places her Hand onto her Chest) And one of my personal favorites, of course. I can sing for you at the bar later on if you like. (Starts Winking at Sae in a Bit of a Cute, Pleading Manner)

Sae: Uhh....yeah, sure. (Maybe Futuba's blowing this out of porption. I mean, really, how bad could this one, harmless song possibly-)

Few Hours Later at the Karaoke Bar.....

Makoto: Dame da ne......Dame yo..... Dame na no yo~ Anta ga.....Suki de Sukisugite~ (Continues Singing)

Sae: (Covers her Face While Crying her Eyes Out and Reluctantly Singing Along) Osake Demo........Why.......('Sniff') Why....('Sniff') WHY THE HELL DIDN'T ANYONE TELL THIS WAS A GODDAMN TEAR JERKER SOONER!? (Continues Crying Out Loudly)

'Harmonica Solo'

Sae: THE HARMONICAS!? ('Sniff') REALLY!?

Later that Night, Back at the Niijma Apartment.....

TV Screen: You Got the Star!!

Makoto: ('Sighs in a Bit of Relief') There. It's all mine now.

Sae: (Raises an Eyebrow at the Screen in Front of Her and Makoto) You chose to steal a star from Waluigi instead?

Makoto: (Shrugs) He doesn't seem to be that much of threat compared to the rest of us. Plus, I'm pretty sure you would find some way to get me back if I try stealing from you.

Sae: (Turns to Makoto With a Small Glare) Oh come on. I would never do that to you.

Makoto (Glares Back at Sae) Yes you would. In fact, you're one of the most conniving, prettiest person to play Mario Party with besides Pitto-san.

Sae: (Starts Rolling her Eyes) Honestly, Makoto....How can I be all those things in one?

Makoto: Well, for starters, when we were younger, playing Mario Party 3, I've obtained Koppa Kard from a Hidden Block. A turn or two later, after you got an item of your own, all you ever told me was "Thank you" . I ask you THREE. SEPARATE TIMES. Why the "Thank You" and all you ever did after that was making widest smile I've ever seen of you yet. And-

Sae: That's when I used to the Plumber Chest to take the card away from you. ('Sighs Fondly') Ah yes. Those were the glory days~

Makoto: For YOU maybe! Oh and let's not forget the time you started that snowballing mini game knowing FULL WELL I was still reading the instructions!

Sae: (Sighs While Facepalming Herself) How many times do I have to apologize to you for that?.....I seriously thought you knew how to play.

Makoto: And I still don't believe you! Ooh! And how can I EVER forget the time that you used that same Plunder Chest to STEAL my hard earned Magic Lamp at the second to last turn!!!?

Sae: Hey, I saw the opportunity in front of me and seized it. I'm pretty sure you would've done the same if you were in my shoes.

Makoto: Yeah, but......(Points at Sae) Y-You're still a cheat!

Sae: (Raises an Eyebrow Once More) You mean "cheater", genius?

Makoto: I KNOW WHAT I SAID! Just.....(Takes a Deep Breath) For once, don't try to screw me over this tims?....PLEASE.

Sae: (Sighs While Rolling her Eyes Again) I won't screw you over this time, Makoto. Just don't do the same to me and you'll have my word. (Sticks Kne Hand Out For Shake) Agreed?

Makoto: (Tries her Hardest Not to Cave In Before Sighing in Defeat While Crossing her Arms and Rolling her Own Eyes) Fiiiine. I'll take your word for it. (Shakes Sae's Hand) Don't make me regret this.

Sae: You worry too much, little sister.(Crosses her Fingers Behind her Back) You have my undying word in all of this.

Makoto: (Squints her Eyes at her Sister Suspiciously) Mmm...hmm.

Few Hours Later.......

TV Screen: Now dig on this~ (Fingers Snapping)

Sae: (Scoffs While Sitting Next to Makoto on the Sofa) Look at him.....Trying to make his girlfriend jealous by dancing with another girl in front of her. In her own live performance nonetheless.....

Makoto: I know, right?....('Yawn') Who does that jerk......('Yaaaawn') think he is anyways? I hate him.

Sae: (Turns to her Yawning Little Sister) Feeling drowsy there already, kiddo?

Makoto: I dunno- (Starts Yawning a Little More Loudly While Stretching her Arms) Maybe? (Scratches her Back) What time is it?

Sae: (Picks her Phone Up From the Coffee Table, Turns it On, and Sees the Time on the Screen) Huh. It's past midnight already. Really went all out today, haven't we?

Makoto: Yeah. We.....('Yawn') Definitely.....did....(Slowly Lays her Head onto Sae's Lap)

Sae: (Giggles Softly) And what do you think YOU'RE doing, young lady?

Makoto: Taking a nap on your lap.... Not as soft and squishy as my Ren-Ren's, but....('Yawn') I guess it will do for now......

Sae: (Sighs While Rolling her Eyes Yet Again) Honestly.....When are you two going to get married already?

Makoto: Sooooooon......Just.....be more patient, will ya!?

Sae: (Giggles Softly) I'll try, but....(Gives Makoto a Playful Smirk on her Face) You might wanna try telling your friends the same~

Makoto: ('Sighs Heavily') Believe me, we tried.....And they STILL kept pestering us about it.....('Yawn') I guess that's the price we pay for being a couple......

Sae: Seems like it. But you still love each other, right?

Makoto: Definitely....(Snuggles onto Sae's Lap) I'll always love my sweet Ren-Rem~

Sae: (Giggles Some More) Hey! Easy on the snuggling there, Makoto. I'm still here your sister.

Makoto: I knooow.....I'm just....Really glad I get to spent time with you today, you know? You're so.... cool......

Sae: (Heart Begins to Melt in Genuine Happiness) Thanks. But if I'm being completely honest here....(Looks Down at Makoto) I think you're truly the most coolest out of the two of us. Makoto?

Makoto: (Already Fallen Asleep) Zzzzzzzzzz..........

Sae: (Sighs Once More Before Smiling Softly at her Sleeping Sister) Already out for the count. (Kiss the Top of Makoto's Head) Sweet dreams, little sister. Happy Birthday. (Looks Back Up at the TV, Mute it, and Starts Changing Channels)

Happy (Late) Birthday Queen!!

@keyenuta

@ma-lemons

@princekirijo

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@theweebmaster31

@26shann

[kbandtrash]

SKZ Mafia Bullet Point

~Megan~

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.6k

Jisung!

Neither of you were actually part of the mafia

You were just two classmates who weren’t really familiar with each other at all

Until one fateful day when Changbin, a mafia boi, who had been flirting with you for ages, cornered you in an alley

He seemed a little confused

“You’re the one they’re after?” he said with a frown

“Who’s after me???”

He bit his lip, pulling out his gun slowly

“My family, can’t imagine why though.”

“Then why don’t you let me go?” you said, trying hard not to freak out

He shuffled his feet and checked his watch, then aimed the gun at your chest

He had an unsure little smile on his lips, almost apologetically

“C-come with me, and I won’t kill yo-”

“HEY!” Jisung yelled from down the alleyway

He was running toward you like a squirrel in a tree

His fluffy hair had butterfly clips and he looked anything but intimidating

Changbin sighed in relief

“Alright, I surrender, see you guys later!”

He yeeted out of there, throwing his gun down and grinning sheepishly

Jisung reached you and bent down, breathing hard

“Did he… hurt you?” he asked with a deep breath

You shook your head, smiling

“That was horrifying but at least you saved me?”

He grinned, honestly looking like a squirrel

A very handsome squirrel

“Glad to help.”

You composed yourself, checking that you were okay for real

“You seem familiar?” he said with a raised eyebrow

“Uh… I’m Lee Y/N, if that’s any help?”

He went red

“You’re Minho’s little sister?”

Basically Jisung is good friends with your brother but they’re boys so Minho never let you guys meet

But Jisung is in your class so all of Minho’s efforts are ruined

“Speaking of Minho… I should probably get home,” you said, pressing your lips together

Jisung nodded

“I’ll take you home, and maybe say hi to-”

“NO!” you shouted nervously. “I mean… uh, Minho would freak out if he saw us together, you know?”

Jisung nodded again, hanging his head

“I’ll follow you, then.”

You looked at him strangely

“You we’re just threatened with a gun, and you heard Changbin. His family is after you. They might be everywhere. I’ll just follow you at a fair distance…”

He met your eyes and swallowed

Your eyes were sparkling

“Thanks, then,” you said with a smile

“N-no problem.”

So you head home

Nothing happens

Then a few minutes after you get home a knock comes at the door

Minho yells from his room: “DON’T GET IT, IT’S MY- A GUY!”

You knew it was. It’s Jisung. You laughed and hurried to your room, closing the door, because Minho would kill you if you were outside where they would be

But that evening a knock came at your door

You slowly opened it, confused

Minho stood there with a big frown

“We were playing truth or dare.”

You laughed at him before he continued

“He dared me to invite you to hang with us, and if I don’t do it I have to tell him who I like, plus I won’t get my pringles back.”

You laughed even harder

But because you were nice and were kind of interested in the funny, nice squirrel, you went out and played video games with them

Jisung was HILARIOUS. And you learned that among friends he was known as a quokka. And you were even more interested in him

Hanging with him and Minho it felt like he was being himself

It made your heart flutter at how cool he was

The next time someone looked at a clock it was really late and dark outside

Jisung had walked over and Minho had his license so he drove the quokka home

(Jisung had declined the offer, but Minho refused to let him go outside where there might be dangerous gang activity)

You were home alone

A soft, quick knock came at your door

You almost missed it

Who could it be? you thought

You looked through the window and saw Changbin standing there with a few other guys

Your heart dropped

Another set of louder knocks came

You ran to your room, shutting the door

The first thing that came to your mind was you had to call the police

And then you would text Minho to let him know

The knocks turned into pounding

“Yes, hello, these guys are at my house, one of them threatened me with a gun earlier…”

After you called the police you sent this text:

There are bad guys outside right now, I called the police, so don’t come back and stay safe. I’ll be okay.

Then you heard the front door open.

In Minho’s car, he was on a slightly busy road (who knows why it was so busy so late at night)

When you texted him, he was too busy being a safe driver to look

Jisung looked at it

“Hyung, Y/N’s in trouble.”

Minho was stuck on a road where it would be difficult to head back home quickly

“Hyung, pull over.”

Minho was freaking out

Jisung was shaking, trying to reassure Minho

They both knew if either of them drove in the state of worry they were in, it wouldn’t be safe

So Jisung ran.

He ran like his life depended on it to your house

It felt like he would be too late

He arrived, hearing police sirens in the distance

“The dang station is too far away from here”

He did the dumbest thing he’s ever done and walked right into the house, where four guys with guns were shouting and pounding on doors

They hadn’t found your door yet

Changbin saw Jisung first

The quokka felt his heart drop when he saw a gun aimed at him

But he threw all fear for himself aside and ran right at Changbin, pushing him onto the ground

Changbin was crying, asking why in the world he had to be part of a mafia

Jisung took his gun from him, saying “I’m sorry, hyung, just please give up.”

Then he scampered away and slammed the edge of the gun on a guy’s head

The guy flopped to the floor, out cold

Who knew I could do that??? Jisung wondered

Then he spotted a frying pan

He laughed at himself but grabbed it anyway, heading toward the upstairs, where the other two guys and your room were

One of the guys was prepared, firing a bullet, but missing

Jisung used his adrenaline to smack him in the face before another bullet fired

When Jisung looked around again, he couldn’t find the fourth guy

But he could hear you screaming

“Y/N!”

He sprinted to your room and without thinking slammed open the door, unprepared

A bullet bit right across his shoulder, causing him to shout

He stumbled, beginning to shake at the sight of you

Jisung recognized the guy from somewhere

Then it hit him when the guy smirked

“Johnny Suh?” Jisung squeaked out

Johnny shrugged maliciously and turned back to you

You were on the floor, pushed up against the wall, looking sick and determined

The quiet police sirens were now much louder

Johnny, looking slightly rushed, pulled his knife on you

Jisung had dropped his frying pan but his other hand (uninjured) still held the gun he took earlier

He had no idea how to use it

But he couldn’t bear to just watch Johnny use his knife on you

You writhed in your place, whimpering

It looked like you had already been scratched once before

They weren’t deep cuts and they weren’t in vital places

But you were in pain

That’s what Johnny wanted

“Y/N, if you let me take you out of here without any more fighting back,” Johnny tried to say, but he was cut off

Jisung had thrown the gun - with his non-dominant hand - with a loud grunt

And it hit Johnny exactly on the back of his head

It hit the perfect spot to cause him to teeter and crash to the ground

Your eyes widened as you shakily held the cuts, glancing from Johnny to Jisung

“Jisung,” you cried, relieved

Jisung held in sobs as he ran toward you, collapsing next to you, unable to stay upright

“Y/N, the p-police are almost- almost here.”

You nodded slowly, pressing your lips together with tears spilling down your cheeks

“We’ll be okay.”

It felt like it would take forever before you two would leave the hospital, but it didn’t last long

The police had interviewed you both a little about the attack just for evidence

You heard from an officer that the Seo family was put behind bars but Changbin was still being inspected to see what would happen

When you and Jisung finally made it back to school your friends were freaking out

Well

They would be freaking out one second

But then they would suddenly say “Y/N and Jisung sitting in a tree-”

You didn’t appreciate it until Jisung finally got over himself and asked you out

So basically

You were dating Jisung

And then you realized you had to introduce him to Minho as your boyfriend

So one day Minho invited Jisung over and Jisung came inside and ran to you

“Y/N baby I missed you!!”

Big hug :)))

Minho’s jaw dropped and then he cleared his throat

“Thank goodness it’s someone we can trust to always take care of you.”

So big uwus

Anyway in the end Minho approved your relationship, Changbin got to come back to school after a few months, and through Changbin and Jisung your friend group got a whole lot bigger

The end :))

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 5 (rambles)

I only realized last week, there’s only 7 episodes this series because the eighth would have been the Asriel centric one. So only two left now after tonight! :(

Also I finished the book during the last week so I am so READY

Ahh gotta love that London traffic!

I don’t know why but the Golden Monkey wearing a seatbelt SENT ME

Mrs Coulter is watching the mother and baby :(

Boreal saying that our world is barbaric and our world is corrupt is so accurate tbh I’m not even mad

Will literally just threw the knife into the wall omfg watch it!

Red PAN-da is becoming a permanent fixture in this show apparently

Lyra’s hair was so pretty this episode? Her costume too obviously but her hair had me in awe

The theme music to this show gives me literal chills

Boreal is evil but his house is A-fucking-plus

Okay but how does Ruth Wilson always look so gorgeous and fluid in this show?!?

Her faking nearly dropping one of Boreal’s precious collection pieces and him panicking 😅

Mrs Coulter’s little “hmm” and smile... we love a Queen

“Why are we whispering?” “I don’t know” - LMFAO

“Will, you left the window open” - LMAO and also please don’t do that, that’s like one of the BIG rules about the knife!

“He’s getting good at this” “he is” - we love a supportive feral wild girl and her dæmon

Mrs Coulter looking bored as fuck as Boreal plays his music is such a damn mood

“You’d like it here too” - Umm NO STOP PLEASE SHE DOESNT WANT IT

“Carlo, can you make that stop?” - OMG 🤣

“You’re far too conspicuous like that” - but she’s not??? She just looks like a posh well dressed woman, maybe that’s not common in this world but she looks fine??

Boreal picking out clothes he’s obviously got just for her is... eww. Just ewww.

Her reaction to the jeans/clothes though XD

“Would you mind?” - YEAH BOREAL STOP CREEPING AND FUCK OFF PLEASE

“Maybe it’s time we issue a firm denial of the tear in the sky” BRO IT’S LITERALLY HUGE AND RIGHT THERE YOU CAN’T PRETEND IT AIN’T

Oh shit the Magisterium know about that witches going to the new world + the massacre

MacPhail literally imprisoned Father Graves and for WHAT?! I think the power’s getting to him (which I know it the point but still!)

MRS COULTER SHUT THE DOOR ON HER DÆMON I’M-

Okay so I know it’s been implied/said that Mrs Coulter can go far away from the monkey already, and that they maybe have been through some kind of process that’s made that a thing, but like DAMN.

“I’m sure you’ve encountered witches in your travels” - if I hadn’t already read the books, I would be asking if she IS a witch tbh like omg

This is probably one of the few times I’ll say this but... I feel so sorry for the monkey?? Just him watching her as she leaves from the window... like that’s so sad. I get why she couldn’t exactly walk around with a monkey but urgh

“I apologize if she was a nuisance” “She wasn’t a nuisance!” - Oof you tell her, Mary

“You must be so proud.” “... I am.” - OOF

Mary showing that she’s better fit to be a parent to Lyra than Lyra’s real mother tbh

Damn Marisa disappeared FAST

Mary really googled Mrs Coulter I’m-

“You must play the serpent” “hornbeam” “save the girl and the boy” - IT’S HAPPENING IM GOING TO CRY IM SO EXCITED

The computer turning completely off and the room going dark before going red OH MY GOD

“Oh shut it, Pan” - LMAO

OH NO OH NO ANGELICA FOUND TULLIO AND SHE IS PISSED D:

A+ acting from Bella Ramsay by the way

“We WILL get you” - OH SHIT

The fact that Will feels guilty over fighting and inadvertently getting Tullio attacked by spectres because he has the knife :’(

It’s so sweet to see Lyra and Pan comforting him though

“I’m not judging” - Mary’s sister says while totally judging her for reading the Holy Bible. She probably thinks she’s about to rejoin the convent!

I find the relationship between Marisa and the monkey so interesting?? I’m so intrigued by it

“Do they drink in this world?” “That, they do well.” - LMFAO ACCURATE THOUGH

“I found her arrogant, like many women in this world.” - umm, FUCK you, Boreal you misogynistic sexist piece of shit

So Mrs Coulter was denied a doctorate despite being the best in her class because she’s a woman, and they would only have published her papers if they were by a man. I’m starting to see why she got upset when she met Mary, who’s got her own office and a doctorate and is head of the department/project

“Who I could have been in this world” - oh shIT

The way she started talking about how she felt after the whole affair/baby ordeal, followed by “we’re not talking about Asriel, we’re talking about ME” - FUCK. I love Ruth Wilson’s portrayal, I love it

“You’ve spent your time trading trinkets” - lmfao you tell him ma’am

“Were you hoping to add me to your little collection?” “I was hoping this would be a life for you here” - oh god I hate it, fuck right off Carlo

“If you got me, you wouldn’t even begin to know what to do with me” - oh SHIT :O

Lyra turning up to distract them so Will could have the chance to cut a window and steal the Alethiometer had me on the edge of my seat

Let’s be real right now, the whole last 15 minutes? THE MOST TENSE AND INCREDIBLE PIECE OF TELEVISION ASDFGHJKL

Mrs Coulter’s face when she saw Lyra at the door :’(

Also she nearly saw Will and I was sitting there praying she wouldn’t find him, I was so worried even though I’ve literally just reread the book

So um THE FUCKING MONKEY BASTARD JUMPSCARED ME AND I AUDIBLY YELLED SO LOUDLY HOLY HECK

The way that Lyra saw her mum and immediately tried to run away though, she just keeps trying to yeet herself away from her parents and I honestly don’t blame her at all

Boreal was being truly extra in the way he dropped his snake dæmon out of his sleeve like that whilst advancing on Will

“Why would I trust you?” TRUTH

Coulter saying for Lyra to stay away from Will and getting super teary eyed makes me think she’s worried Lyra will suffer like she did? Like she’s worried that Lyra will suffer at the hands of men and be in the same situation she was I think? And that’s so sad but nuanced

“I am NOTHING like you.”

So Lyra did this little head move like Marisa did in 1x02, when she made the monkey attack Pan to subdue Lyra - AND THEN PAN ATTACKED THE MONKEY JUST LIKE THAT, LITERALLY EXACTLY THE SAME, AND MRS COULTER FALLING TO THE FLOOR AND CLUTCHING THE SOFA LIKE LYRA DID?? AND LYRA WATCHING WITH THIS COLD LOOK ON HER FACE?!

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A COMPARISON GIFSET BECAUSE IM CRYING

I love Will getting mad at Boreal taunting him over his mum, and immediately starting to punch him

HE SMASHED THAT COLLECTION PIECE ON BOREAL’S HEAD FUCK YEAH WILL 👏🏻

That was a DAMN close escape, holy fuck, but she’s got the Alethiometer back!

“The man who hurt you, I wanted to kill him” - same Lyra

I was so emotional when she was talking about how Marisa used her dæmon to hurt her and Pan, and Will saying that he’s never worried about his mum hurting him... the comparison is so sad

“I hope I’m not like either of my parents” - I mean I don’t blame her tbh

SHE CONSIDERED MA COSTA AND LEE SCORESBY TO BE BETTER PARENT FIGURES TO BE LIKE I’M CRYING

So Mrs Coulter is definitely planning some shit, like she didn’t seem that concerned when Boreal was talking about the Spectres, and like obviously I know what happens but I’ve always been intrigued as to why the Spectres listen to her instead of just attacking her. Also is it something to do with her dæmon? Like if they ARE separated in some way, maybe the Spectres don’t feed on her because it’s Dust or something? (Idk if that makes any sense)

“Deceive the guardian... okay... okay...” honestly same XD

Mary pretending to be Mrs Coulter to get past the guard is such a brilliant idea, like she just ran with it immediately, we have to stan a Queen who keeps a calm head

SHE WENT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND INTO THE CITY AAAAHHHH

The angels said they’d protect her, right? So she doesn’t need to fear the Spectres I’m assuming (I need to assume or I’ll worry)

The promo for next week was literally half what we saw THIS week and half Lee/John Parry footage I’m assuming is next week... ?

The fact there’s only two episodes left makes me so sad :( I have no idea what I’ll do waiting for the final series - and I’m assuming it’ll be delayed maybe because of Covid. Plus I’m hoping we get the extra episode NEXT series, the one that was Asriel-centred and supposed to be in this one but wasn’t filmed because of Coronavirus, so fingers crossed! 🤞

[moonlit-mizukage]

Chapter eight: Party 

Summary: Y/l/n Y/n, a third year at Sakura High School, is just a girl with a bad attitude towards anyone outside her small circle. When y/n’s younger sister starts first year, she gains a lot of attention. Unfortunately for everyone in school, the Y/l/n household has one rule, No dating till y/n does. Some people become just desperate enough to pay the leader of the “Monsters”, the trouble making group on campus, to date y/n. What will happen when she finds out? (All characters aged up to third year unless otherwise stated)

TW: Swearing, underage drinking, partying, mentions of weed, hints at sexual actions, mentions of violence, mentions of blood, vomiting If I missed anything please let me know .

Word Count 1.2k

Taglsit Open! Please send an ask or dm to be added! 

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Y/n POV 

Walking in the front door of Hanamaki’s smoke instantly hit our faces. Hanamaki was seen in the living room standing on the coffee table chugging down a 26 ounce bottle of smirnoff ice well some others cheered him on. Matsukawa was smoking a joint on the couch with a girl under his arm as they watched Hanamaki. The monsters may be the most freighting group in school but Hanamaki was known for his weekly parties Saturday nights. 

Walking into the house more and arriving in what looked like a second living room, Terushima was seen on the couch making out with one girl as three more sat around them watching. Kyotani was behind them about to start a fist fight with an unexpectant second year who spilled some beer on his shirt.

We finally made it into the kitchen where Tendou was standing and mixing drinks at the counter. 

“We lost your sister.” Tsukishima spoke up finally. 

“She probably ran off with Oikawa already.” Shirabu replied.

“Hey babe! Glad you could make it.” Tendou spoke passing me a drink. 

“Gross, I didn’t come here for you.” I placed the drink he gave to me back on the counter. 

“SHIRABU YOU CAME!” Bokuto ran right up to him. Behind him was Kuroo resting in the doorway. Shirabu rolled his eyes. 

“What do you want?” He asked him unamused. 

“Come meet my friends!!” He grabbed Shirabu’s arm and started to drag him into the room he came from. 

“Tendou, do you have any shots?” I asked the man who was still standing too close for comfort. 

“4 shots coming up.” He poured the shots as the remaining group I arrived with picked up the glasses. 

“Oh I don’t drink.” Yamaguchi spoke in almost a whisper to us. 

“Come on Yams, just one.” Tsukishima said, putting it in his hand. He took it as tendou raised his glass. He raised it to us and we all took a shot. 

“Tsuki is that you?! Did you finally take up my invitation?” A girl shouted from somewhere in one of the surrounding rooms. 

“Fuck, I got to run before she sees its actually me.” He said right before he disappeared into a large crowd. Tendou looked at Yamaguchi and raised his eyebrows. Fear visible in his eyes as he spoke up. 

“I am going to go find Tsuki and make sure he's okay.” With that he scampered off. 

“Looks like it's just us babe.”  I looked at him with disgust as I picked up another shot. It seemed he poured it while Tsukishima and Yamaguchi left. I was quick to down it. 

“I’m leaving.” I left quickly into the large crowd I had seen my friends all disappear into earlier…

Oikawa Pov 

Pushing around the crowd I was searching for Mei. She texted me that she was here already. Thanks to the party setting I figured tonight was my chance. Many girls had stopped me on the way by asking for a dance and some even more. I walked back outside to find Atsumu and Iwaizumi playing beer pong. 

“Hey come join us!” Atsumu yelled. I walked over to the table as I saw Mei and called her over to join. 

The night continued on while we all hung out. It was finally just the two of us as we headed into what seemed to be an office room on the first floor. She was looking around the room from the couch. I placed my hand on Mei’s face as she blushed. We both moved in closer and as our lips were just about to touch. The door had swung open as Mei and I pulled back to see Iwaizumi standing there. 

“Dude y/n is fucking drunk as shit, you got to come and see this.” Mei stood up and rushed from the room. 

“Iwa-chan! I was so close to getting a kiss!” I said as I followed him from the room. 

Tendou’s POV 

I spent most of the night chasing down y/n. She picked up shot after shot, eventually losing her after she disappeared outside in a crowd. I took a break after finding Maki and Mattsun. I drank some more as they laughed and smoked. Kyotani eventually joined us with dried up blood all over his knuckles and shirt. We just assumed it was someone who probably dumped shit on him again. Just as Maki pulled out a new joint someone busted into the backyard shouting, 

“YO Y/N IS SO FUCKING DRUNK!” I stood up and headed into where he came from.  

There she was, in the dining room, dancing on top of the table. All around cat calls were yelled in every direction. Terushima was close by as he yelled up at her to take her shirt off. 

“HEY!” I yelled. The yelling stopped as everyone turned in my direction. “GET THE FUCK OUT UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE ON THE MONSTERS LIST.” The room cleared out really fast as Y/n looked down at me. 

“Oh Tendou, why are you destroying the fun?” She asked, her voice was slurred as she went to step off the table. She misplaced her footing as she began to fall. I reached out and caught her just in time. 

“Fuck y/n, have you ever drank this much before?” I asked. She laughed as her response. Just as we began to stand up she began to look sick. 

“I think I am going to-” She puked. All over Maki’s floor. I let out a deep sigh, 

“Alright, let’s get you home.” 

“I-i-i gotta grab meiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.” She slurred out. 

“Don’t worry, I'll get your friends to take her.” I got her into my car as I remembered I had no idea where she left. 

“So y/n, where do you live?” 

“In a house.” 

“Where is your house?” 

“On a streeeeeet.” 

“Which street y/n?” She just laughed again. I texted off to my friends who had already sent Mei home with her friends. I did the best thing I could think of... 

Y/N POV 

THE NEXT MORNING 

I jumped up from my sleep. I began to rub my eyes as I looked around the room. Where the fuck am I?? I checked my phone and it was dead. I looked down to notice my pants were on the floor. I was still in my t-shirt as I stood up and rushed to put my pants on. I crept down the stairs only to be hit with a fresh scent of pancakes. 

“Good morning babe? How are you feeling?” I looked over to the voice and saw Tendou standing in the kitchen in nothing but his boxers.

“What the fuck happened last night?” He laughed. 

“Calm down. I just brought you here cause I couldn’t find out where you live to drop you off.” 

“And why were my pants off?” 

“You said you were hot, pulled them off and then passed out.” 

“Oh.” 

“Have some breakfast before I drive you home.” He pulled out a chair at the island. “And here, you will need this for your hangover.” I didn’t notice till he said that, but wow I felt like a bag of shit. 

“Thanks.” I said as I took it from his hand. 

“FUCK!” I shouted. “My dad’s going to fucking kill me.”

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[summoner-chan]

Sorry, I guess I should have been more specific, I WAS talking about Darius lol. Aight then last two questions: Shiro and Durga.

And don't worry about the long winded responses, I love it when people feel comfortable enough talking about themselves, and I can, like, feel their excitement as I read. :)

I tend to worry about how much I talk since that experience with someone on discord (the same server as those two passive aggressive peeps) asked me to not to post a wall (what they meant is that not send a long ass one whole paragraph of words) because I was talking a long time to type and send-

Mind you, my phone was lagging at the time there was a lot of typos happening without my control so I had to retype them. I remember it being something they asked what's about that art I drew?

Other than that, they were pretty mean, maybe because they were part of the admin teams of the discord or they're just a natural born dick :/ and I mean by natural born dick when someone just said good criticism and everyone who's friend with that person just-

y'know bit his head off saying things like "lmaooo nobody needs that shit critism 🤪. Look at this guy shitting on (username) 😂😂" and there's them going all "I don't need your damn critism, I don't fucking care. I ask critism when I want to and I didn't ask for yours so you can stfu" like okay....no need to offended by that... And I found the critism on the spot though? I couldn't see your linework from all those shading-

Anyways, I'm being off topic so let's hop to the Housamo Ask Game!✨✨

[Shiro]

Favorite book or favourite book series? Oof, truth to be told, I'm more to a manga/comic book reader 😂😂 but I do enjoy reading books once awhile!! I only own two horror light novels which are in my native language so I'll try to translate their title??

The very first book I had was Kakak Kemboja (Kemboja in English is Frangipani) which translates to Big Sis Kemboja/Sister Kemboja (not in a Nun way-) and it was about a young boy meeting one of the tenants in the old apartment he lived in.

After losing his father and his house, he and his mother was forced out by the late father's mother and brother who planned to make their house into a homestay. This caused the young boy to stay at the apartment alone while his mother was working to bits but don't be sad, Big Sis will always be there for you

Spoiler, Big Sis is actually a ghost 👻

In Asian culture, Frangipani is one of the notorious for having it's scent being related to ghosts. If you're alone and you smell something fragrant, it's best to get out of there as fast as you can along with to not comment about the scent on the spot. I tend to smell fragrant things (doesn't help that I can see things ksjdjwkdje) even in my own house so I just- Yeet myself from that place

The second book is Somniphobia which is the Fear of Sleeping. It's about an office guy who likes to read scary and horror books at night until morning which causes him to get late for work most of the time. He was starting to get bored since he's already read all of the books he owned and nothing seems to catch his eye until his old friend suggested him a book, Somniphobia. Little did he know, the more he read the book, the less sleep he had. To be specific, he's started to develop Somniphobia himself. .

I only read light novels because once I bought the book, I immediately read it, to the point I finish it one day which just frustrates me to no end. I read super fast and everything just gets crammed to my head and I'd have to reread again to make things sensible kskskksksdj

I'm not a manic like my big sis though, she has two shelfs full from her novels. Her favorite book series is the Clockwork series, the Shadowhunter series which is written by Cassandra Clare and she almost have the full set now- 😂

[Durga]

To be sentimental or to not be sentimental-

Well then I'm going to the sentimental path skksksks

I'd actually want my family get back together again but you know, I can never take in another man who's not even my biological father to begin with after what I went through with said man

Having to cope without having a dad for 2 years now is sad but it happened, I know it's not my fault even though another part of me insists that I should have done better. I cry so easily whenever there's things that reminds me of him, I can't handle scenes where a man is lying in bed in the hospital, I can't handle seeing fathers being very affectionate to their children and I can't handle going to hospitals again

Thinking about marriages is what hits me the most because in my religion, the bride's father will be the officiant for the wedding, handing his daughter over to the groom's care so to say. That doesn't mean that I won't be able to get married without having a father to be the officiant but rather the officiant will be replaced by the bride's brother or uncle (brother of the father) and if there none, a court religious officer will be the officiant

It's just that thinking how lucky your eldest sister (from the first wife of my late dad + divorced) was able to have your late dad as the officiant of her wedding then when it was only you and your four sisters (two from the same mom while the other two is from the second wife), the chance was already gone. I won't see my late dad at my own wedding, only having it being replaced by my brother or uncle. It's not the same, it won't ever be the same because he's not there to see his grandkids or will he have the opportunity to be called grandpa

It just hurts knowing that he won't be there to be a part of the big parts of my life

But it happened and there's nothing I could change, I'm already quite happy and grateful to have mu late dad's wife and her family taking care of me and my two sisters despite there are times when we've fought but nonetheless grateful

I don't have my biological mom with me at the time since she was forced to stay in her own home country due to her citizenship, I dearly miss her but...due to personal reasons, I can't help but hate her from time to time. She does the wrong things and it scarred me badly, hence why I am unable to give her my blessings for her to get married

That's all I could say since if I were to say more, things would get pretty long and it's just me ranting out :P

Thank you for sending in ask in!! Feel free to send anymore like usual~

[themonkeycabal]

Wandavision Ep 7 Spoilers

Spoilers below

Good morning. There's a guy power washing the sidewalks at 12:30 a.m., and the drone from the generator is drilling into my brain. So I will watch WandaVision instead of doing something I might regret.

Previously on: Wanda was getting sick of Pietro's shit. Vision knows/thinks his wife is behind all the creepy shenanigans, and he tried to escape the Hex, only to fly to pieces in the real world. I can relate.

Outside, Monica, Jimmy, and Darcy were banished from the SWORD circus by Acting Director Dick, because of course. They snuck back in, also because of course. Darcy hacked AD Dick's files and found out he's Up to Something. Then she ran to try and help Vision and got herself arrested and handcuffed to a jeep. Which is where the brave SWORD agents left her when they ran away as Wanda, attempting to save Vision, expanded the Hex, swallowing Darcy and the SWORD compound, turning it all into a sitcom circus. Well deserved. Well, not Darcy, but anyway.

AD Dick escaped. Unfortunately. But, so did Jimmy and Monica who were off to her mystery aerospace engineer friend to find a way into the Hex.

Also, Tommy and Billy have powers.  

The episode 7 summary is a delight: "Two super-powered beings living ideal suburban lives suspect that everything is not as it seems." You don't say, Disney+.

Wanda wakes, regrets everything, and hides under the covers.  Understandable. Cut away to her addressing the camera The Office style "Look, we've all been there. Letting our fear and anger get the best of us; intentionally expanding the boarders of the false world we created". (cut to screaming running SWORD minions lol).

The boys come to get her, their game is freaking out. The video game controllers can't decide what decade they're in and are glitching it up.

Billy says his head feels weird and noisy. Wanda isn't terribly responsive. Mommy needs some her time.

"As punishment for my reckless evening, I plan on taking a quarantine-style staycation. A whole day. Just to myself. That'll show me." lol

Wanda eventually rouses herself, goes downstairs in her robe and sweats, ignores the boys fighting over a video game controller, and goes for the sugariest cereal. The milk container keeps glitching, she tries very very hard to ignore that.

Interesting Office-style opening credits, where it's just her name on everything. Vision is only added at the end, with the tag "Created by Wanda Maximoff".

Out in the real world, what is the point of SWORD? Like how do they have jurisdiction? Where is SHIELD. Director Mack, wtf, dude?

Anyway, now that part of their camp has been swallowed by the hex, they're further out, staring at the angry glowing force-field. AD Dick is a dick. He wants to know what's happening with the broadcast. His little minion says the signal's gone. Ominously he says "we launch today". Mmmm, what delightfully heavy-handed dipshittery will we have to endure?

Back inside. Vision wakes in the field at the edge of town that is now a circus. And lots and lots of clowns. He gets yelled at by a strongman who seems to think Vision is the new clown and tells him he's late for rehearsal with the escape artist. Who is Darcy. lol

"I put in for the bearded lady. But this alabaster complexion wasn't fooling anyone."

Darcy is chained to a ye olde fire engine or tractor or something. Vision walks up to her making a weird face and kind of waving his hand back and forth between them.

"You don't remember me from last night? We locked eyes, there was an unspoken understanding." Darcy tells him "um, hard pass." lol She busts out of her chains and walks away, Vision chases after.

Back at home, Wanda wants to know if the boys have seen dad, they haven't, but Billy wants to know about that whole thing Uncle Pietro said about dad being dead again. Wanda says Pietro is not their uncle. The boys don't understand, and Wanda has a little rambling breakdown about how she has no answers and maybe there's no meaning to anything ha ha don't worry boys mommy's just having a little depression.

Agnes knocks and then, you know, strolls in, when Wanda magics the door open.

"Hi Agnes. I'd get up but I just don't, ahahahah, want to." If I was Billy or Tommy I'd mount a search for dad. Stat.

Agnes: "I think I got there in the nick of time, 'cause she was one split-end away from cutting her own bangs."

(It's 1 a.m. and I swear to God, that man is still power-washing the sidewalks.)

Agnes suggests the boys go with her and give mommy that 'me time' she so desperately needs. The boys are reluctant but Wanda is ecstatic.

Once alone with her certainly soggy cereal, Wanda settles back to watch crappy daytime TV. But, damn it, the furniture is glitching through the eras.

"I'm fine! I'm fine hahahah. *sigh* I'm fine. i'm fine. … I'm fine."

In the real world. Jimmy and Monica are still on the move. The file on project whatever it was from last episode (Cataract), that Darcy forwarded to Jimmy's email, has finally found its way to him. It's R&D reports.

Oh, that asshole, AD Dick was trying to bring Vision back online. Monica puts the pieces together "Heyward wants his sentient weapon back."

Jimmy says somebody has to tell Wanda.

Good thing they arrive at the other side of the Hex, I guess? Where Monica has another team waiting. An Agent Goodner. They brought her like some sort of big Mars rover thingy.

Vision is still trying to talk to Darcy. "You tried to help me." "Doubtful. I'm notoriously self-involved."

lol, some amusing back and forth. Darcy is an f'ing delight and I don't just say that because I am obviously hideously biased.

Vision distracts her with a mime and takes the opportunity to do his brain mojo on her, waking her up. "Part of me secretly wanted a guest spot on this show, but seriously that sucked."

"Dr. Lewis. I have questions." "I have answers."

And then they steal the funnel cake truck.

"Dr. Lewis, my questions. Are my children safe?" "That I don't know." "And who was that Pietro?" "Beats me."

Wanda is still working on her bowl of cereal. Give it up, sister. The house redecorates itself around her.

Uh-oh, in her talking head segment, about how she doesn't understand whats going on, the person behind the camera speaks, and asks if maybe it's what she deserves. "You're not supposed to talk."

Commercial time. For a depression medication. "Nexus, a unique antidepressant that works to anchor you back to your reality. Or the reality of your choice."

Back in Westview. The boys are hanging at Agnes's. Billy has a rabbit. As happens at your crazy neighbor's house. But, he says he likes it there, because it's quiet. "You're quiet, Agnes. On the inside." J'ACCUSE, AGNES!  

Back at Monica's backup camp, she's getting suited up in her SWORD astronaut suit. Jimmy's sad because Darcy's missing the fun. But, Monica will rescue her. SWORD is worse than SHIELD for slapping their name all over everything.

Monica and the little rover zoom off to the hex. Should she really go that fast? Maybe this is something to take cautiously? Oh, and look, she hit it hard and she's stuck. The Hex doesn't want to let her in, but she keeps trying. And now the Hex is eating into the rover — sorry, *re-writing* it. Well that was a dumb plan. Sorry guys, but come on.

Monica escapes, but the hex eats the rover and then spits it out, the front half transformed into a truck. Monica is shocked, Jimmy calls for a medic, and as they run forward, Jimmy, who has known Monica for like two days, recognizes she's got 'I'm a heroic dummy' face on and he's all "noooooo!". She runs for the hex and pushes her way in.

This is a really long sequence of her going through the hex. Like … too long. Sorry, but it is. There's a whole thing where she's hearing voices from moments in her life, and she hears Carol tell her how she's a tough kid, and now Monica is Filled With Resolve and breaks through the Hex, still in her Astronaut outfit, so like she resisted the sitcom wardrobe department.

I enjoy this show, but there are moments of hokeyness that I find very trying.

The hex rewrites you at a basic level as you pass through it. So, third time through and Monica's eyes are glowy blue and she can, like, see electrical currents, or electromagnetic fields (it looks like). Trippy. She can see power along the power lines, fields around streetlights. Closing her eyes and shaking her head makes it all go away. Of course.

Meanwhile, Darcy and Vision are on their slow-speed getaway in the Funnel Cake truck. She's trying to catch him up on what's happened since he's been dead. They keep hitting red lights and obstacles. Vision thinks Wanda's doing it to keep him from getting home. "I'm not amused," he tells the camera with a very not amused face on. lol

Vision is trying to understand what he is now. It's not going well. "My corporeal form was born from Ultron's plan for global genocide?" "Correct-o." Darcy might not be the best person to be explaining this to him.

"What am I now?" Poor Vision.

Darcy takes a deep breath. In fairness, she looks like maybe she'd rather not be the one doing the explaining, either. "Honestly, I'm a STEM type of lady, so I thought she just flipped a switch on your head and brought you back to life. What I don't get is why you can't leave the hex."

Vision is having an existential crisis. But, Darcy assures him that based on her week-long experience as a fan of WandaVision, he and Wanda do really love each other. So, there's that. "You belong together," says the shameless shipper.

Meanwhile, Monica has arrived at the Maximoff residence and busts into the house, breathlessly trying to tell Wanda it's all Heyward being a dick, but Wanda's stunned by the sudden entry and then too pissed to really listen. "The drones, the missiles, Pietro." "No, Pietro wasn't us." "All you do is lie." She's tossing Monica around with her powers.

Monica, friend, buddy, pal, was that really your plan? To barge right in and just … what? Talk fast and hope she didn't yeet your ass again? Okay, she didn't have a lot of time, I get that, but surely she could have come up with something. Like, she should have found Darcy and Vision first, and then the three of them could approach Wanda. But, no. Jimmy Woo would have a plan, Monica.

Well, fortunately for Monica she's been rewritten into Electricity Lass. She hits the ground with a staticky crackle and her eyes glow blue again. Wanda's all "bu-whu?"

"The only lies I've told are the ones you put in my mouth," Monica says all angry like. Mmmkay, I thought you were trying to help? Wanda does not care for this response. Because, no offense Monica, but the last time she heard your voice, she had a missile launched at her head.

Monica challenges her. "Do it then, take me out." Not an approach I’d go for, but it seems to work, and Wanda hesitates and Monica tries to warn her again, that unlike Wanda who isn’t actually violent and evil, Heyward will burn down Westview to get what he wants. "Don't let him make you the villain."

"Maybe I already am."

Next door, Agnes is looking out the window, watching them, with a considering look on her face. BECAUSE SHE IS IN ON WHATEVER THIS IS.

Monica is still trying to talk down Wanda. Agnes interrupts. Creepily. And shepherds Wanda away.

Vision and Darcy are thwarted in their journey again. "Oh come on! Kids? What's next? Puppies?"

Vision takes the faster way and intangibles himself out of the van and flies off, leaving Darcy at the endless intersection. "Go on! I'll just meet you there then?"

Back at Agnes's shack of creepy ladies who are freaking up to something. Where are the boys? Oh, Wanda notices the half-eaten PB&Js and the nightmarish kids' show on the telly. Behind her the bunny is in its cage. No sign of the boys. Agnes says they're probably playing in the basement.

Wanda wanders off to find them. But, there are no boys, only horror show creepiness. The basement turns into some weird sort of domed cavern with arches all around and in the middle a weird glowing rectangle.

Agnes comes up behind her. "You didn't think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?" I was wise to you, Agnes. Which, given she was a featured co-star, was probably no great insight on my part. BUT STILL!

"The name's Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear." OH! LOLOLOL! OH, I didn't see that one coming. Wow, you got me, show. It never occurred to me for a second that it was Agatha Harkness.

And now a fantastic montage of Agatha doing tricksy things as Agnes through the series, with the best theme song ever "Who's been messing up everything? It's been Agatha, all along! Who's been pulling every evil string? It's been Agatha, all along. She's insidious. HA HA! So perfidious." Oh man, this is great. "And I killed Sparky, too."

LOL. Great ending.

Hey, an unexpected mid-credits scene of Monica trying to get into the house. Maybe Agnes's? Oh, yeah, she finds a storm cellar and opens the doors, to see a stone stairway with vines or roots growing all around it and zippy electrical sparks and such. Pietro appears behind her. "Snoopers gonna snoop."

Credits!

Well then.

I KNEW IT! I didn't know what I knew, but I knew I knew a thing!