#my wonderful neurosis

[myrmica]

doing lineart in mspaint is the perfect middle ground between the problems that arise from the infinite maleability of digital art (stressful) and the permanence of traditional art (stressful). the simple act of doing my lines in ms paint has made art faster, more fun, & way less daunting. i kind of wish more complex art programs had a custom layer cap you could set for a file or something

[rexscanonwife]

Toki ran into his fave celebrity and asked for a selfie!!! ( ☆∀☆)

Taglist♡: @crushes-georg @changeling-selfship @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @squips-ship @cherry-bomb-ships @hotrodharts @1980ssunflower

[stargazerlillian]

All scenes of Neurosis from "Hercules: The Animated Series".

[merry-the-cookie]

(ashton voice) your neurosis is really showing in your drawings

[wkilofficial]

the downside of having Such Strong Headcanons for the killjoys is that. i cannot read fic without going He Would Not Say That. even though it’s technically fair game bc no one says Anything in canon basically!! but unless it is a dear friend’s work i am simply. i do not see it

[mangoshorthand]

Five Hargreeves Meagalist

I've realised I need to rejig my pinned post, so here we are. Hello, I write aged-up Five Hargreeves smut. Sometimes also not smut. But mostly smut. This is a compendium of my work.

Request status: Closed

One + Twoshots

Not Smut (G-M rated)

Tickle War | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Fluff)- Words: 1.5k

Dickhead Sugar Daddy | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Angst/Fluff)- Words 2.8k

Two Old Men | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Fluff)- Words 3.3k

No Blinking! | Five Hargreeves & 3 y/o daughter (Fluff) Words: 3k

Twelve Feet Away From the Mistletoe Part 1, Part 2 | Five Hargreeves / F Reader (Fluff, angst) Total words: 5.8k

Senseless | Five Hargreeves/ GN Reader 1.3k words, Rated T/M (Angst + steamy)

Strings Attached | Five Hargreeves / F Reader (Steamy angst)- Words: 4.8k

Smut (E rated/18+)

NSFW Alphabet | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words: 2.4k

Two Items of Business | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader/ FReader- Words: 2.1k (kind of a crackfic. Not my best.)

Goddamn Darling | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.1k

If Tonight Were our Last | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.4k (mild smut, probably between M+E ratings)

Boy Wonder | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.7k

Lucky Fucking Pillow | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 3k

In Your Hands | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader - Words: 3.1k

The Birthday Boy | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 3.8k

Your Desperate Man | Five Hargreeves/ GN Reader- Words 2.8k

Venus and Cupid | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words 4k (inc. fluff, romance, hurt/comfort)

The Birthday Girl | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words 2.8k

The Pandas and the Conservationist Part 1, Part 2 | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words 11.8k.

My Kind of Deli | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words 8k.

Series + Multichapter fics (best read on AO3)

Hard Feelings (E rated/18+) : 6 parts

You're Five's latest assassination target, but things don't go to plan and now he wants you as his fuckbuddy. What starts as a casual relationship soon comes to mean everything to him, but what can Five bring to a relationship? After 45 years alone, (or almost alone), how do you rebuild your understanding of partnership? Five has to listen, learn and face the future as well as his past. READ ON AO3 READ ON TUMBLR

The Neurosis of Five Hargreeves (M/E rated): 2 Parts

Covering Five's readjustment to society post season 3. This series uses prose, monologues, transcripts, and case notes to explore Five's mental health demons, delusions, and recovery from decades of apocalypse trauma.

Not canon compliant. In this household, season 4 never happened.

READ HERE

The Moth and The Spider (E Rated): Please heed tags.

Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the fear, or maybe some sick, twisted part of him was titillated. Even looking back, he never knew. In the dark of nights years in the future, he couldn’t help linking how it turned out to this one mistake. Perhaps if he’d fought her just a little longer, it might never have turned into what it did- perhaps it would never have gone beyond that first night. In fact, it seemed likely: that’s how he knew it was all his fault really.

The Handler knows Five will be a difficult agent to control, but she also knows how to exploit his weaknesses.

READ HERE

Headcanons

Usually based on Tumblr asks:

SFW headcanons because I am capable of them y'know

Cooking

'Not like other girls' girls

Five hates himself

Five as the father of a son

S4 speculation

My dreams for Five in S4 (boy, was I disappointed)

Why Five's favourite word is "shit!"

What would Five look for in a partner?

Would Five be ok with not having kids?

A guide to flirting with Five

Five and Wordle

What did Five do in the apocalypse? (mention of masturbation- not graphic)

Five's enjoyment of murder

S/O stealing Five's jackets.

NSFW headcanons ah, safely back in my lane

NSFW alphabet

Five's relationship with the Handler (triggering content)

Five with a menstruating S/O (NSFW only because references sex)

Five + submissive pillow princess

Hargreeves brothers sharing sex tips

Five and flirtatious jokes (mild)

Mannequin banging: part 1 , part 2

Apocalypse sadwanks

Five eats pussy like a madman

[mysterycitrus]

from what ive seen dick grayson having bpd is a pretty popular idea on twitter but i dont think ive ever seen anyone on tumblr mention it...was wondering if you might have any thoughts as the resident dick expert. sorry thank you

so sweet! imo the trifecta for dick graysons diagnosis is ocd + bpd + psychosis, though ur mileage may vary. i know some people read him as audhd but that’s not a personal preference for me. ive talked about it before a while ago but i think all of bruce’s kids show very clear compulsive behaviours and intrusive thoughts, and i think dick grayson in particular — as both a professional acrobat and considering the circumstances of his parents deaths — would have rigorous compulsive habits wrt safety and personal equipment. there’s also the idea that treating ocd in part comes from exposure therapy, and it’s kinda hard to argue against the logic of someone obsessively checking his grapple as a unpowered superhero lmao. like bruce inflicted these neurosis on people for a reason, which makes it very hard to unpick

wrt bpd i also think that fits well with how he’s been written traditionally — the compulsive thoughts, how he isolates himself, can struggle with sudden shifts in mood, has self-destructive habits, etc. i do also think he has a history of canonical psychosis in some capacity, which could be exacerbated by his history in the spotlight, or his intense observation by bruce. i imagine he was probably diagnosed into adulthood, where maybe someone like bridget clancy or the metropolis therapist picked up on some of his behaviours.

overall i think the idea that someone with bpd or ocd — or whatever other lens he can be analysed through — is beloved and trusted and capable is very important! the nature of bpd in specific is so isolating so like…. yeah i think it’s neat that someone with those symptoms can be reflected in a positive way. i try to incorporate my personal diagnosis in little ways regardless — there’s a part in persephone where roy’s emergency bag has a bottle of clozapine — and it’ll be shown more explicitly in some of the other stuff i eventually work on

[fob4ever]

i was at a bookstore yesterday that had a copy of the kerrang: living loud book that featured the FOB watergun fight article i've never seen transcribed anywhere so i made a transcript of it for archival purposes. enjoy! from kerrang, may 2005.

For a man staring down the barrel of a loaded gun while wearing just underpants, Fall Out Boy bassist Peter Wentz looks remarkably chipper. Especially when you consider the person about to unload in his face is guitarist and vocalist Patrick Stump, grinning madly despite the fact that fellow six-stringer Joe Trohman has a pistol to his temple. He in turn is firmly in the firing line of drummer Andy Hurley, cackling loudly with his finger hovering over the trigger.

Passers-by stop and stare, waiting for the inevitable, messy climax of this "Reservoir Dogs" scenario. The tension mounts, onlookers brace themselves, the band get ready to open fire. Suddenly it happens.

"Argh!" screams Wentz as several litres of icy water soak him. "That's fucking cold!"

No, Fall Out Boy aren't about to blow each other away, They're having a water fight for K!'s benefit in a car park at the Chicago stop on travelling punk circus Warped Tour, where they're knocking out their "softcore" wares ("We're basically a hardcore band that couldn't cut it as a hardcore band," laughs Wentz) on the main stage alongside big hitters like The Offspring, Avenged Sevenfold and My Chemical Romance. The Windy City is more than just another stop for them; Chicago is Fall Out Boy's hometown, the place where they formed out of the ashes of their old hardcore bands, and where they still live with their parents- who are here for today's show - during the few weeks of the year they're not on tour.

It all started for Fall Out Boy here in 2001 when the members wanted a break from playing in their various bands. Long time friends Wentz and Hurley got together with hardcore associate Joe Trohman to do something a bit less heavy. Following a conversation about avant-metallers Neurosis in a bookstore, Trohman introduced Stump to the rest of the band. When their other bands folded, they took on Fall Out Boy full time.

"We wanted to do things before we were ready," chuckles Peter Wentz fondly of the early days of DIY tours for the benefit of the one or two people who would show up. "We'd plan two-week tours, just to see the world. Nobody would book us, so we had to do it all on our own."

"A lot of bands have scenes to go into and surround themselves with those people," says Stump. "We had no scene, so we would just play anywhere, with whoever."

FOB have come a long way from their humble roots. Right now they're America's fastest rising band. Radio smash 'Sugar, We're Goin' Down' has placed them squarely in the mainstream, having spent three weeks as the Number One song on MTV's 'TRL', a prime-time show usually devoted to pop acts like Maroon 5 and Ashlee Simpson. So dizzying their Stateside assent has been, they had to cancel their recent European tour in order to play the MTV Music Video Awards, where they are also nominated for 'Sugar...'. Thankfully, FOB haven't let the screaming adoration turn them into big-headed twats.

"A piece of shit with legs on it could walk onto 'TRL' and people would still go crazy," laughs Wentz. "That stuff just goes straight by me. With the fast turnover in the music industry, how can anyone have an ego"

Andy Hurley chips in. "You can be today's main stage and tomorrow's trash."

That's to find out tomorrow, though. Today among the madness of trying to plan anything on the Warped Tour - stage times are decided daily by lottery - Fall Out Boy have to try and find time for hanging out with family and friends.

"Three weeks on Warped is like three months on a normal tour," says Peter Wentz.

"Home becomes like Atlantis on tour, you wonder if it actually exists after a while," adds Patrick Stump.

Now FOB are big stars, a lot of old 'friends' have been coming out of the woodwork. Joe Trohman and Peter Wentz have polarised views on those who didn't give a toss back in the day suddenly becoming your pal once you've made it.

"The way I look at it is if someone's a dick to you and you don't know them, so what?" says Trohman. "Just care about who did support you, keep those important people close, not the people who five years ago called you a loser."

"I work the opposite way!" Wentz counters, before adding darkly, "The people I think about most are enemies. My brain works on revenge!"

Though a tight knit group of close friends, Peter Wentz is clearly Fall Out Boy's spokesman. He does most of the talking during the interview and writes the lyrics, and seems like the most driven one of the lot. As well as doing Fall Out Boy, Wentz has also written a book with tattoo artist Joe Tesaure, 'The Boy With The Thorn In His Side'. It's a dark, twisted tale that could have come straight from the brain of Tim Burton.

"I've always been into Roahl Dahl and people like that, and I was friends with a tattoo artist at the time and we came up with this idea to do a book together," he explains. "It wasn't something I felt fitted in with what Fall Out Boy is, I hate when bands do something that's not 'them'. The book is what it is, and Fall Out Boy is what we are."

Despite all thise talk of nightmares and revenge, FOB are upbeat individuals, enjoying their newfound success, while refusing to allow success to go to their heads. They'll tell you they don't like the shallowness of groupies or industry parties, and that the trappings of rock stardom hold no appeal.

"I don't feel like I deserve it," says Wentz in closing. "It's not like, 'this amount of time and this amount of shows = this kind of bus'. I appreciate what we've got. We've toured in a tiny van and it was cool, but now we're having new adventures living like this. I don't feel we deserve it more than any other bands do."

He surveys the sumptuosly appointed tour bus for a moment before chuckling heartily.

"Actually, that's a lie, we totally deserve it more than anyone else! Ha ha!"

[blasphemecel]

Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness — Food Analogy

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader/Alexis Ness WORD COUNT: 3.3k TYPE: Humor, Bad Flirting (it's never been worse), Rivalry WARNING(S): Canon-typical football derangement, tw Kaiser, tw Ness, tw Y/n 💀 NOTE: This is the Dog Walking origin story does anyone remember me hi?

Believe it or not, Isagi never took you for a nutcase. Can your words sometimes be a bit absurd in nature? Over the top, maybe? Yes, but the environment you’re in is easy to blame. Otherwise, you’re a respectable individual, if not aloof, always keeping a certain distance from everyone else.

This is all to say, there is no way Isagi could’ve anticipated the utter nightmare he is in the middle of right now. If there was, he would’ve ran away the moment he heard your footsteps approaching after Kaiser blocked his shot and gave him that shitty speech.

You seem to have witnessed the whole thing, and with Kaiser gone, you wrap an arm around Isagi’s shoulders. “Do you know what he said to you?”

“In German?” asks Isagi, confused. “No.”

“What’s so special about you that one of the New Gen World XI players is picking a fight with you, huh? Because it was the last goal? He didn’t even glance at me and I finished the course before you.” Your eyes narrow at him with easy, second-nature condescension. It’s the first time you’ve hurled such provocations his way. “You’re always hogging the spotlight, you know?”

Isagi huffs, annoyed by your attitude. “Try harder in the next match, then. I don’t know what you want me to do. I’ll devour you either way.”

“Stop telling people you’re gonna devour them, you cannibal. It’s so tasteless.” You click your tongue, bemused by his lack of style — no wonder you get along with Aryu — and then you gesture at Ness and Kaiser in the distance. “Look at him. He even has a servant. It’s not fair. I want someone to do my bidding!”

“Why are you acting so childish right now?”

You push him off of you like you weren’t the one who got so close to him in the first place, then stalk up to Kaiser and Ness with the confidence of someone on a mission. At this point, Isagi knows he should look away, and yet his attention is glued to whatever is about to ensue like he’s a spectator of a car crash.

Ness offers you a fake smile and reaches out to hand you the same translation gadget he’d given Isagi earlier, but, of course, because you’re insane, you decide the most appropriate course of action is to take out one of his and shove it in your ear. He blinks.

“You seem vulnerable and easy to boss around,” you say. Wow, what a first impression. Ness’s smile slips. “I’m looking for a henchman or a goon or something similar. Are you interested?” Then you address Kaiser. “That was a cute little show you put on for Isagi. For how long did you practice it?”

“It was improvised,” he lies.

“Sure it was.”

“Who the hell are you?” Kaiser shoos you away with a wave of his hand. “Third rate actor trying to intrude on my stage. Bo-ring.”

Isagi cannot discern if Kaiser doesn’t recognize you from the U-20 match for real or if he’s just pretending in order to insult you, but his best guess is that you’re going to make him… very aware of your identity after this.

___

This is, perhaps, the most insulting thing to ever happen to Isagi.

The field falls into a conclusive silence, everyone still lingering by whatever spot they’d been in during the game before it finished. Isagi knows he’s staring at you like a serial killer, eyes drilling holes into your side profile with utmost offense. The football-induced neurosis he usually gets lost in while playing is yet to wear off, which is probably why he’s taking this to heart.

Without a doubt, you were ahead of him at least in the final moment, despite failing to stand out for the rest of the match. You’d predicted he wouldn’t cave in and pass to Kaiser and got in range, jumping in between them out of nowhere, stealing what was supposed to be Kunigami’s goal.

Though what made your outplaying him so galling is that it was all a way of picking a fight with fucking Kaiser. Not even with him, but with Kaiser. His act of relenting — of not trying to score on his own because of concepts like rationality and recognizing limits — became an instrument in this stupid fight you’ve been picking.

Then Isagi watches you figuratively spit in Kaiser’s face because, of course, your obnoxious ass can’t just win and leave it at that. No, unnecessary amounts of gloating seem to be what you run on, and now you grab Kaiser by the chin and mock his introduction, “On your knees, Bastard München.”

This is the worst transgression of Kaiser’s life. You’ve addressed him like he is a dull, unnoteworthy part of a collective, not even bothering to say his name while sporting the shittiest sneer he has ever seen. He’s pissed, and all he can do is stare in confusion. Despite his long going career as an instigator, this response (to his general existence and demeanor) is still somehow unique and, worse, effective.

When you let go of him, you withdraw your fingers from his face like he’s dirty. You shrug, then raise your hands in the air in a victorious manner, and you look happier than Isagi has ever seen you before. “Ta da. All eyes on me.”

But the shitshow doesn’t appear to be anywhere near over because while everyone else is frozen, you’re approaching him now, unperturbed by the attention you’re receiving as if it’s your birthright. Like you were made for the spotlight.

“Isagi, didn’t you say you were going to ‘devour’ me?” you ask once you’re right in front of him, your exterior growing more complacent by the minute. “Didn’t you challenge me? Seems to me like I’m too big for you to chew.”

If nothing else, though, unbeknownst to himself, Isagi, too, is insane. He has unreasonable amounts of determination and loves when things get difficult just so he can chase the satisfaction of overcoming them, among his other eccentricities. “This was just one match. We’re one for one now. I’ll defeat all of-”

“What are you two doing?!” Ness asks through a tight, passive aggressive smile. You hadn’t noticed him closing in on you, too high on your own power trip. He grabs you both, one shoulder in each hand, and squeezes with a death grip. “Do you think this is your show? This is Kaiser’s team, not the figure-out-which-good-for-nothing-is-slightly-better team. Either behave and follow the rules, or face the consequences.”

“Good for nothing? Shut up, little midfielder, you’re too scared to stand on your own feet, so you have to degrade yourself as Kaiser’s boytoy instead. I guess his shadow is a comfortable spot to hide in with how enormous his head is,” Isagi says. His tone is so matter of fact, it leaves minimal room for argument.

“He’s good, though. I can see potential in him to be almost as good as Sae. I want you to pass to me, too, Ness. Right? You can emphasize my star qualities with yours, can’t you, Ness? I can shine on you. It’s fine by me.”

It’s like two predatory animals are staring him down, trying to gauge his taste through smell alone — you with your fake innocent, curious expression, and Isagi, who doesn’t seem to realize he spewed vitriolic insults with the nonchalance of a weather cast announcement.

For sure both of you would’ve gotten a broken ankle each the way Ness is gritting his teeth right now, but emerging out of his stupor, Kaiser intervenes. And when Kaiser speaks, he commands Ness’s full attention, rendering him speechless. He pushes Ness out of the way, deeming this a fitting way to insert himself in the conversation. Then he looks you in the eyes with a… smirk? Isagi was hoping his dolour would last a little longer. “I figured out what your role is.”

“I’m not interested in starring in movies made by incompetent directors.”

“You’re going to be my love interest,” declares Kaiser, not at all fazed by your dismissal. “I’m not that bad,” he continues, because naturally, nice people always have to declare themselves as such. “I can recognize when someone has skills. You’re my darling in distress, and I need to save you from the peasantry of Blue Lock, so your talent can flourish. That’s your role.”

You continue observing him with mild amusement like what he told you was normal. Meanwhile, Isagi is wondering if your stunt earlier gave Kaiser whiplash or vertigo or something. Maybe he went and snapped. Clearly, these aren’t words coming from a sound mind.

Even Ness, who at this point should to some degree expect Kaiser to be deranged, gasps. Whether at his audacity or lack of shame, it’s not clear.

“How unoriginal. Think of a better one.” You shoo him to decline the proposal. “Besides, you already know I’m more interested in your lapdog.”

“What?!” Ness calls out, now moving onto being offended. “Are you rejecting Kaiser? And you- me?! What?!”

Isagi’s entire face scrunches. Did this man seriously not even flinch after getting called a lapdog?

Apparently no longer finding this conversation a proper source of entertainment, you wave them off dismissively and walk away without sparing them a second glance. Isagi watches as Kaiser stares creepily at your retreating silhouette with this little infatuated(?) smile on his face.

What is this lunatic so happy about, anyway? Does he even realize he was the perpetrator of his own public humiliation ritual? Leave it to Kaiser not to understand that he embarrassed himself.

Ness runs after you, yelling objections, but at this point Isagi isn’t even listening. He doesn’t want to listen. Neither are you, if the way you’re picking your ear and not responding to him while ducking out of his way is anything to go by.

After everything cools down a little and everyone has scattered about, Bachira inches towards Isagi. Easy-going as ever, hands interlocked behind his head, he says, “You’re all psychos on your team, huh? Must be fun.”

Oh… Yes, Bachira witnessed all that… Everyone did. Isagi almost forgot. The vortex of the utter absurdity of this situation sucked him in for a second there.

___

Isagi doesn’t even bother removing his sweaty uniform before he approaches you, looking all determined. He can’t get it out of his head… Did you read him? Or was it a guess? You got there too fast, as if you foresaw what he was about to do before he even decided it. “How did you know I was going to pass to Kunigami?”

“Isagi, don’t ask me narrow-minded questions. We just had a match and I need to revitalize myself,” you tell him as if what you’re saying makes perfect sense. It’s like you make it a point to phrase everything in the oddest way possible.

“Narrow-minded? Could you stop being a pain in the ass and answer me?”

“Well, you weren’t about to pass to Kaiser, and you used to be buddies with the ginger. So, pray tell, where else could the ball go?”

Surely, it wasn’t as predictable as you’re making it out to be?

“You could’ve collided with them, lost your starter spot and cost us the game without even touching the ball. It wasn’t worth the risk.” Isagi isn’t really sure why he’s even saying this. It paid off for you, but he needs to understand the intricacies of all the ways his rivals are ahead of him just so he can overthrow them. You’re another mark on his football hit list.

“Since when are you so trifling? You’re losing me more and more by the minute here.”

“What are you even on about?”

“I’m a striker. I’m sublime. I score. And you’re asking me why I chose to score?”

Isagi tries to glean some hidden wisdom from this statement — there is none — but before he can at least offer a response, Yukimiya intrudes on your conversation by talking about something wholly irrelevant.

Yukimiya berates him. You fade into the background of this conflict, observing, while everyone else makes an attempt to de-escalate the argument. To make matters worse, Kaiser makes an obnoxious entrance and delivers a useless speech about how you all better follow him and blah, blah, blah.

“What a stupid thing to say,” you point out, taking a step forward as if to challenge him. Isagi doesn’t like that he has to bear witness to you and Kaiser making eye contact again. “We’re in Blue Lock. Would the world’s best settle for just surviving?”

“None of you will be the world’s best and I’m here to show you. By the way, I meant what I told you earlier. Don’t go fading into obscurity following the wrong king. I really can’t stand it when someone doesn’t know how to use their talent, and your talent would make a good accessory to mine.”

“The only king I obey is my desire.”

“You say that now, but I’ll get you in the end.”

“Did you walk in here half naked to try and seduce me? You jezebel…”

Isagi makes the wise decision to tune out the rest of your bickering with Kaiser for the sake of his ears and mental clarity. Still, he can tell there is something here which is evading him. If he can identify everyone’s priorities — Kaiser’s need to live out his emperor fantasy, and your hedonism, and Yukimiya’s dedication to his ideals — can he use this knowledge to his advantage and come out on top?

___

You’re fighting with Kaiser again. It’s not real fighting, though, is it? Isagi has become well-acquainted with all sorts of depravity since the beginning of his stay at Blue Lock — most often had been the victim of it, even — so he can recognize it with ease. Because of this, he pays you minimal attention during the unfortunate moment when he needs to waltz by.

But the next display of obscenity, he truly does not anticipate. He turns around the corner of the hallway on the way back to his room, and what does he realize he’s seeing? Ness peeking his head out from behind the corner to watch you go at it from a distance, that’s what. Why is he even doing this? He’s always doting on Kaiser, so it’s not like it’d be weird if he was there, up close and personal. He’s literally making it stranger than it needs to be.

“What are you doing?” Isagi blurts out, before he can think better of asking.

Ness startles. Apparently he’s been focusing so intensely on… observing you and Kaiser, he didn’t register someone passing by a few inches away from him. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before eventually coming up with, “I, uh… Um, I- I… Uh.”

Isagi almost lets it go, but then Ness says,

“Everyone has their… interests and passions, so… You can’t judge me.”

“Wait, this is an interest and a passion to you?”

“Um, I, uh.” Ness’s face contorts into that reflexive creepy smile Isagi has come to expect of him. “Yes. Now go away, you’re interrupting me.” Oh no, he’s becoming confident in his… Whatever this is.

Isagi exits the vicinity with an unnecessary amount of caution. He can’t tell if the feeling of someone’s gaze burning his back is just paranoia on his part.

___

Today’s bullshit: another one of your arguments is unfolding, and this time, Isagi doesn’t have the choice to feign ignorance. You’re supposed to be splitting up in two for a practice match. Obviously this devolved into an inane dispute about who the biggest hotshot is. Isagi, holding the glorious title of ‘captain of Team B,’ tries to follow the plot of this whole thing. Mainly to figure out a way to make you and Kaiser shut up and get on with the game already because your voices now automatically register as a cacophony in his head.

“I’m not going on your team unless I get to be the captain,” you say. “And Ness passes to me.”

“I won’t play midfielder if you’re center forward!” Ness protests.

“Come on. We’d be a hit together. Stop pretending.”

“You’re putting yourself on quite the high pedestal there,” Kaiser says. “Is the altitude messing with your head? Don’t give yourself vertigo now.”

“If you died on the field, I’d do a penalty kick while standing on your corpse.”

Leave it to you to escalate things for the sake of getting a reaction out of Ness. He shakes you by the shoulders back and forth while yelling something unintelligible as Kaiser snickers, maybe finding this to be an amusing or god forbid romantic mental image.

Why are they acting like children? Isagi holds back an audible groan or perhaps an onslaught of derogatory words. He’s not sure how to solve this, though. You’ve been going in circles for a few minutes now, and Kaiser got mad when you said you’d be on Isagi’s team, and Isagi got mad when you tried to steal his aforementioned prestigious title, too.

The debate of who the superior striker is — objectively it’s Kaiser, but Isagi admires your dedication to your delusions in the face of Ness’s sectarian wrath — continues. Then, it happens. Something awful to honor your skills.

“What did you call it, Yoichi? Devouring?” asks Kaiser, before turning his attention back to you, sly smile on his annoying face and all. Then he puts his stupid hand over your loony head and pushes it aside, giving a good view of your neck. “I think in that case, I might want to take a bite out of you.”

What…

Oh my god, Isagi thinks, stomach churning, and truly, he might vomit. The state of affairs has never been more dire than this. No way that demented freak just did this without any shame?!

You open your dumb mouth, probably to respond with a snarky remark (which will inevitably somehow make this ten times more inappropriate). Isagi won’t stand for this.

Interrupting you before you’ve even begun speaking, he points an accusatory finger at Kaiser first. “You’re a pervert. Not only are you a pervert, but you’re doing it right in front of everyone. All the time! What’s wrong with you?”

He stares at Isagi incredulously. “What?”

Next, you enter the line of fire. “And you try to provoke him into doing things like this on purpose! Just so you can embarrass him! You’re a pervert in a much more pretentious and obnoxious way. You’re enjoying this!”

“What the fuck,” you blurt out. This is the first time he’s heard you sound defensive. “No, I’m not. We aren’t doing anything.”

“Yeah, we aren’t doing anything,” Kaiser agrees. “Fuck off, Yoichi.”

Isagi ignores these protests. They’re futile, anyway. He knows he’s right. Even if he isn’t, all of you deserve this slander in his opinion. For a moment, Ness makes the mistake of assuming he’s been spared, but, “You’re the worst, though. You like it when they fight over you. You have no self-respect.”

“Wh- What?! But I didn’t even do anything!”

“Yeah, that’s the thing, suck-off.” Isagi grabs him by the wrist and tugs him over to his side, apparently having decided this is the answer. “You’re going to be on my team.” Then he glances at the two of you, and that part of his brain which he tries to ignore when he’s not on the field sends a spark of joy and satisfaction coursing through his veins at the unadulterated indignation on your faces. “Deal with each other, yeah? Since you’re so inseparable.”

Noa tells everyone to hurry up, and the rest of the spectators mutter in agreement before Ness can even regain his senses and put up a fight. His eyes are wide and glossy, his jaw is hanging, and he is looking at Kaiser and then at you and then back at Kaiser with the sadness of a character in a Shakespearean play.

Kaiser looks like he is about to pop several blood vessels.

You huff, cross your arms, and pout. Why does Isagi always win?!

___

Thyere so embarrassing omfg im laugihing so hard

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Love and Beskar- Part One

Din Djarin x ADHD/anxious F!reader

Summary: Its been 6 months since Din saved you when he was on a hunt but the longer you're with him he starts to wonder if maybe it was you that saved him.

Soft! Din Djarin x ADHD/anxious F!reader

Warnings: soft Din , concerned Din, protective Din, Din falling in love, ADHD and anxious reader.

A/N: I hope you all love this new multi part journey I've been working on as much as I do! I'm extremely proud of this story.

Din often heard the light sounds of your feet padding against the cool steel floor of the razor crest at night. Seeming almost restless in nature most nights, shuffling around the bottom of the ship checking to make sure things were locked, walking over to check on Grogu. It was almost like clockwork your movements, as if you’re waiting until you thought he was asleep. Din hasn’t told you but hes gotten used to your sounds, your presence on the ship with him and Grogu, that on the rare nights that he doesnt hear you at night he gets up and quietly checks on you in your quarters. Sometimes he finds you and Grogu curled up and fast asleep together, the bond the two of you had almost immediately reminded him of the two of them.

—————————————————————-

The older you’ve gotten, the more sleep alludes you most nights. It’s when your intrusive repetitive thoughts, your unwanted inner monologue hits you like a freight train. Replaying the things you’ve said from today, yesterday and 10 years ago that could have bothered someone. That could have been the final straw in them wanting to be around you and what you would have or should have said. When you would endlessly think about if the doors were locked or if certain items were shut off. So you’d find your self getting up in the middle of the night, shuffling around to check the invisible list of items on your mind that night, trying to placate your mind enough for the sleep to take over. You always tried to be quiet when doing so never wanting to bother Din or Grogu with your neurosis. Sometimes though Grogu would wake up sensing you were in distress and want to snuggle so you would take him into your quarters and the both of you would drift off to sleep.

Lately your mind races about the incident with Din. You had started making good headway with yourself and with Din. The two of you getting used to each others presence, both letting each other into the fortresses you have around yourselves. You were starting to feel less in the way and more comfortable talking with him. But you HAD to go and fuck it up, figuring it was only a matter of time before you talked to much, asked too many questions, pushed too hard to connect.

You kept replaying it in your head, the way he said Stop, enough questions in a tone you hadn’t heard him use with you. You wanted to fix it, to make things better but you didn’t know how so you did the only thing you knew how to do to protect yourself. You withdrew into yourself, becoming quiet, and making yourself as small as possible.

————————————————————-

You can feel the Razor Crest touching down as you’re laying in your quarters with Grogu. You can tell buy the way the ship is landing that it’s not an emergency or Immediate danger so you stay there.

Knock, knock

“Come in” you say your voice meek and defeated.

Din slides the door to you quarters open to see you curled up in bed reading, Grogu happily babbling in your lap.

“We’re docked in Mos Eisley. I’m going to have Peli refuel and do a tune up on the ship. We can go into town to stock up on things for the ship at the market.”

“I don’t really feel up to it, I think I’ll just stay here and nap.”

“I’ll be gone for a couple hours, will you be alright?”

“I’ll be fine, I’m just feeling off. I have my coms, if I need anything I’ll let you know or I’ll find Peli.”

“Should I take Grogu?”

“Grogu, do you want to go with dad or stay here?”

Grogu looked up at you, over to Din and then back at you before he lays back on you.

“When you’re done napping, if you’re up to it, go out, I bet Peli would like to see you” Din says with hesitation. He doesn’t want to leave you for that long. He knows somethings off, that you’re sad.

“Well look at that, it’s my favorite tin man, where are my friends the kid and the girl? You didn’t ditch them did you?”

“They’re napping so make sure the droids don’t bother them”

“You hear that boys? Don’t bother them, because you won’t like tin man when he’s angry”

“You still have a speeder I can borrow?”

“It’s gonna cost you extra” Peli says with a smirk

“I’ll be gone a couple of hours, is it ok if they stay here? I’m sure they will come out and visit”

“Yea that’s alright, they’re lucky I like them” Peli chuckles.

And with that Din headed off to the market. He’s unable to shake how you’ve been the last week, he knows he’s the result of the problem but he doesn’t know how to fix it.

Din is making quick work of the market when he accidentally hears you on the coms talking to Grogu.

“Oh little buddy what am I going to do? I like your dad but I know I upset him and I don’t know how to fix it”

*Grogu cooing”

“I know it doesn’t matter, because he’d never feel the same. I know I’m just in the way but I like being with you two.”

*Grogu babbling and laughing happily*

“Its hard to be sad around you little buddy, thanks for always listening to me”

Din stops in his tracks, his whole body burning under his armor as the feeling that’s been gnawing at him creeps back in. He has been trying to convince himself that he didn’t have feelings for you, that in the 6 months you’d been with him and Grogu had been the happiest he’s been in his life. Trying to push the feeling away telling himself, there’s no way you’d share the same feelings for him, a bounty hunter and a man you could not see. But as he hears you telling Grogu that you like him, emotions flood his every sense momentarily. He realized that in the action of trying to deal with his own feelings, he was pushing you away. He had become short and agitated with you causing him to hurt you. Din thinks back to the night he snapped at you as he stops at a shop in the market that sells books. How he’s become completely overwhelmed by the fact that you seemed to care about him, that you cared to ask questions about the Razor Crest and about his life as a Mandalorian and his childhood, that it became to much for him to bare, causing him to lash out.

Din can’t help but smile when he enters the shop because it makes him think of you. He knew how much you loved books and when the credits allowed he would get you new books but usually you guys could only afford to get you one every so often. The shop owner looks at Din as if he should need help at any moment but Din knows what he’s looking for. When it came to you he was scary good at remembering the little details. He knew the kind of books you liked, the snacks that you loved, even the types of fabrics that irritated your skin, priding himself in remembering every detail he could about you no matter how big or small it was. One of Din’s favorite things was performing acts of services for you from something as big as protecting you from unsavory characters to hiding little gifts in your bunk for you to find. The way he could hear your excitement echoing through out the ship when you found the item he hid that time.

Din finished at the shop packed up the speeder bike and made his way back to Peli’s hanger. When he arrived he saw you sitting outside on the ramp to the Razor Crest while you watched Peli playing with Grogu, giving him a warm smile as he walked up you three.

“Come on little guy, let’s get you all situated and strapped in while your dad loads the ship up.” You say taking Grogu from Peli and saying your goodbyes.

Din loads the ship up and places the new books in your bunk for you to find later, before he joins you two in the cockpit. He can’t help but notice the way you rolled your head back to look at him as he approached his chair, a lightless to your smile that hadn’t been there in a couple weeks.

“What?” He chuckled as he starts warming the ship up.

“Oh sorry, it’s nothing… I’m just happy to see you”

“Oh, I’m happy to see you too” Din says a hint of surprises in my modulated tone. Though you couldn’t see him he was smiling at your comment under his helmet.

He sets the the course and the three of you take off.

“We should be in a good place now to rest for a bit, I’ve set the coordinates, it will be a couple days journey”

“Ok, I’ll go rest then, have a good night Din”

You make way down the ladder and to your bunk when you notice a bundled up gift on your bed.

Din hears you gasp in excitement as you’re door slides closed as he’s coming down the ladder. He can’t help but smile as he pictures your excitement , your surprise when you find not one, not two but three new books bundled up. One of Din’s favorite things to do is watching you pick out books, the way you trace your fingers long the letters and designs of the covers. Feeling every dip, every groove, every texture change. The way your eyes soften and the corners of your mouth turn up into a smile while when you’re reading a overview that you like.

—————————————————————

You breath in deeply, letting the steam fill your lungs as the hot water beads down over your body, tapping against the shower floor as it falls. You allow yourself to fully check out, allowing the sound of the shower to consume you finally quieting your mind. The heat of the shower hugs your body, sometimes it provides the only relief you feel in the day.

After drying your hair and getting dressed you make your way out to the main part of the ship, still needing to quiet your mind if you’d have any chance at sleeping tonight.

Going over to trunk of extra blankets and pillows, you load a bunch up in a net, going back to your bunk you grab one of your new books and a lamp. Making your way up the ladder into the cockpit you spread out the blankets and pillows making yourself a cozy little nest under the stars.

On his way back from using the privy Din notices the door to your bunk is open but it’s empty. That’s when he hears it, the faintest sound of you humming, the same little hum you make when you’re reading. Din slowly climbs the ladder to see you curled up.

“Is.. everything ok?”

You turn around to see him coming up the ladder.

“Yea…sorry everything’s alright, I just come up here and read under the stars sometimes when I’m restless and can’t sleep.”

As you turn to speak to him, Din notices you’re already reading one of the new books he got you.

“Is it ok to sit with you? I won’t bother you, I just can’t sleep either.”

“Sure, I’m almost done reading this part” you reply as your turn back around to continue.

You put down the book and lay back into the blankets only to jolt back up just as quickly when you lay back onto Dins leg accidentally.

“ oh good I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention” you say as you whip around embarrassed.

Something ignited inside of Din in that moment. A desperation to feel close to you, to be able to sooth you and quiet your mind in the same way you did for him when you were around.

“No no, it’s ok… you can lay back like that if you want”

“Really?…” you say, your voice dripping with confusion, your mind not sure what to do.

“Here, hold on one second” he says before you hear a snap and the delicate sound of metal on metal. You look back over your shoulder to see Din removed the piece of beskar armor that covers his thigh before dragging your eyes up to meet his visor.

You give him a warm smile but you body stays motionless, you’re sure your misunderstanding the situation.

“It’s ok, here let me help guide you” Din says as he ghosts his hand up your spin to help steady you as you lay back.

Your whole body feels like it’s been set ablaze as you settle back with you head nestled on his thigh. You look up to find his gaze is already on you.

“Is…is this ok?” You Ask nervously

“This is ok. Are you ok?” Din ask, intently watching you through his visor trying to read any discomfort in your body langue.

“Yes, im ok. This is…this is actually nice” you say as you smile up at him, a sense of calmness washing over you.

“Are the books I picked out ok?”

“They’re perfect, I love them. You really didn’t have to get me so many. Thank you so much”

“ You deserved them, you work really hard helping me care for Grogu and I know things havn’t been the easiest between us. I couldn’t pass up finding several I thought you’d like.”

“Im also very sorry that I hurt you… I didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s just hard getting used to having someone around that cares and actually wants to know me. What I do for work, being a bounty hunter is a lonely and at times violent job. It’s been a adjustment having you and Grogu around but I like it, I just got overwhelmed.”

“It’s ok Din, I’m sorry if at any point I’m talking to much or asking to many question. I just feel comfortable talking to you but can get a little awkward when it comes to making conversation.”

Din can’t help but notice how at ease you look snuggled up to him, the smile never leaving your lips since you first laid down. You couldn’t see but he hadn’t stopped smiling either underneath his helmet. He doesn’t want this moment to end, he’ll lay with you like this as long as you’d let him. Din puts his arm around you, gently resting his hand on your stomach.

“I didn’t like being away from you today” you say softy your eyes closed.

“I didn’t like being away from you today either” Din can’t believe what he’s hearing. He hating being away from you for part of the day today, but never thought you’d share that sentiment.

You can feel yourself start to drift off to sleep as you reach up cupping you’re hand over Dins.

Tag List:

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[moiraineology]

Hi ❤️ I was wondering, how did you like New Spring if you've finished reading it?

Personally I think it was a great choice to read it even before getting into the Eye of the World and I enjoyed all the details about Moiraine, Siuan and Lan's backgrounds/relationships. It made reading EotW even a little easier to me. The only complain I have is that it was too short 🥲

BTW do you have any favorite parts that you'd like to see as flashbacks on the show?! I would love to get a scene of Moiraine and Lan meeting for the first time or their first bonding!

Oh no! I am so, so sorry for not replying sooner. I really didn't mean to leave you hanging. I was excited to receive this question, and then neglected to respond for...two weeks? Oh boy. I apologize.

I did truly love New Spring. Ripped through it in a couple of days over my reading break (a highlight!). I actually totally agree with you re: reading order. I'm not particularly stringent about that in any case, but I say, if you most ardently adore enjoy a character, just dive in and read everything ever directly written about them :D

It has now been a while since I read it, but I think that most of all I appreciated these very flawed, smart, and funny characters it brought to life. I've mentioned this before in a post, but I'll say it again as many times as possible: I love (love! LOVE) Mo's social ineptitude. Or at least that she treats most social interactions like a dramatic performance, where she has to put on a certain face based on her training and her upbringing. I find the part of the book where she learns about power structures in the Blue Ajah, and the fact that she picks up on this complicated dance of deference and authority that someone (Eadyth?) must then explain verbally, to be incredibly moving. Who among us hasn't felt the temperature of an intricate web of social relations, not natural but cultural (or maybe a combination of the two, where difference is felt and ostracized accordingly, sometimes in a very insidious and subtle way) and been utterly confused, and wished that someone would just explain what the fuck is going on between people? All of this says a lot about her background: culture, class, and also her particular brand of neurosis. I find it very endearing and more relatable than I care to admit (outside of this space). Yeah, also I think she's autistic. I'm nd as all hell and I think so, so it must be true.

Also, I love that we get mean Mo. Impatient Mo. Stubborn, obstinate, and immature Mo. She really did grow up with Lan. I think that's gorgeous. These two are actually kids when they meet, and then it's just them for 20 years on the road, and they learn to be PEOPLE, and to not communicate, and to fulfil the roles that are required of them/all that their duty really entails/how to navigate the politics of their world. Just the two of them. I would kill for flashbacks to times after they initially bonded, and how they were able to grow so close after a rather sticky beginning. I think the answer lies in the empathy that is inherent in a bond. Lan sees Mo as a stubborn child, but when he finally feels the fear and doubt and uncertainty she struggles with every day... a child doesn't normally feel those things. She struggles with the weight of the responsibility that has suddenly been thrust upon her, a responsibility that, to her great credit, she approaches bravely and willingly. Mo, too, can't stand Lan at first (I personally think she is jealous of his gravitas and his calm: we know she wants to be that way, but can't yet. Not until she grows up a little more), but she will soon meet the man who has been raised from birth to be the king of a nation that no longer exists. And what that does to a person. And exactly why Lan must be the way that he is (and how much she can learn from him). Also, I actually cried laughing and just gleefully clapped and giggled when Mo was pranking Lan and her inner voice was just...so conniving and sneaky and clever. "He would meet the wasps in perfect health." I genuinely think it's the funniest line ever written (perhaps that says more about my dumb sense of humour than RJ's comedic ability, but to his credit, he is really fucking funny sometimes).

And I can't end my little rant without talking about Siuan. I so appreciated the chance to get to know this character, who is introduced so beautifully to us in the show at the height of her power. As someone who is more than a little bossy, strategic, and clever, and who is very accustomed to being in control of a room. I love seeing what that looks like in a young person. She has the confidence, personality, and work ethic, but not yet the experience to be an effective leader. However, she leads Moiraine. And Moiraine likes it and she lets her. Again, relatable. More than I care to admit outside of this space. I also am fascinated by the cultural and class differences between the two women. The qualities they share (curiosity, drive, ambition, and so, so much integrity) are almost outweighed by those differences (Siuan is measured where Mo is impulsive, Siuan is frugal where Mo spends lavishly, Siuan is irreverent and unconstrained by the expectations of her rank, while Mo is and has always been bound by them). It's cool to see how they change one another. And the ways in which they remain unchanged into adulthood. Right up until we meet them together in the show. Also I think it's really fucking cute that Moiraine wanted to sugar momma Siuan so bad that she tried to buy her a horse. Who?? among us?? hasn't lived that fantasy?? No? Just me? (I would love to sugar momma my baby girl, if only I had the means).

Will you tell me what you thought about it, too? I would love to hear all of your thoughts. What would you like to see explored in the show?

Thank you so much for your thoughtful asks. I love answering them, even when I take too long.

[lullabyes22-blog]

As a longtime fan of FnF I somehow didn't know you had a Tumblr????? Suffice to say I have been FEASTING! I love your interpretation of Viktor (& seeing him in situations) , so i have some questions but expect me back in your inbox for others soon! (Assuming you have time to take asks 😅)

Viktor's characterized as not super in touch with sexuality. Is his mindset that of the purely cerebral and he's genuinely just not interested in sex in any form, or is it that he has FeelingsTM surrounding the way he views his body and physical intimacy (while having no one he wants to unpack that with) so he just manifests himself into being the former?

In regards to his romantic feelings, while it's clear Jinx definitely isn't happening (Sorry Jinx 😔), could you forsee him finding someone even after the JayVik divorce?

Finally, I recall reading a cool FnF Snippet with Silco and Mel having a tense power play filled verbal show down abt Silco recruiting Vik (Something About Honeybees and Stingers? I somehow cannot find it again) , and I wonder how he'd react to hearing THAT whole mess? (Personally I think he'd listen to Mel's confession abt envy over his and Jayce's relationship and laugh so ruefully he gave himself a heart attack)

I'm aware this is kind of a big ask so I completely understand if you can't deal with it.

Heee! Welcome aboard<3

Most of my FnF content can be found here! Spoilers ahoy!

I think, while Viktor has a definite cerebral streak, he is also a deeply empathetic and caring individual, and would've thrived in a loving, safe, happy connection - be it sexual or not. However, the extent of damage done by his disease paired with his self-abnegating streak (and a latent neurosis to 'fix' himself before he deems himself worthy of love) has led to a number of hangups in that department. He calls himself a "cripple" and fully admits he can believe in nobody but himself. Jayce is perhaps his first true friend and the first person who saw him for more than the sum of his parts. They share a passion for Hextech, and for bettering the lives of people. Jayce has been his rock throughout this endeavor and has become his only real source of support.

Then Jayce begins to withdraw due to his duties with the Council + his relationship with Mel. He zigs, Viktor zags, and both, untethered from their old bond, lose their footing and slip into the abyss of their own personal folly.

But Viktor is an emotional creature, though he doesn't wear it on his sleeve. His devotion, when given, is all-encompassing. Whether that translates into sex is something I leave open to speculation in FnF. For this fic, I write him as ace, but not necessarily aromantic, because he's not entirely sure about that himself. At his core, he longs for connection, but his insecurity has convinced him the only way he can find it is through his work, and improving lives.

He is a very private person, so it would take an extremely special person to get him to open up, and I can't imagine he'd be comfortable with someone who is very driven by their libido, and who places physicality as a primary means of establishing intimacy. That's not to rule out sex altogether, either - just that his partner would have to understand and respect his needs and boundaries.

And lmao, I wouldn't write off Jinxtor as a thing completely, either. FnF is a saga, and follows Zaun through its evolution as a city-state. Jinx as an adult will not be the same person she is as a teen, and her relationships will evolve as she does. Presently she's got a very childish/one-dimensional understanding of sexuality and romance, which is why she's not really able to pick up on Viktor's vibes, nor her own, and why she's crushing so hard on him.

By the tale's end though, they'll be partners on the chem-tech/hextech front, and I think they'll be well-suited to one another. Whether that suitability includes romantic/sexual undercurrents - or one aspect without the other - I plan to leave open-ended. But I can promise Viktor won't be the same person at the end, and neither will Jinx.

And the fact that Ekko canonically hates Viktor, and vice-versa, is an excellent setup for some good ol' fashioned future Hypotenuse drama - not unlike the whole Vander/Silco/Lika mess<3

>D

I think the Mel/Silco Snippet you're referring to is here. And Viktor would ruefully shake his head at Mel announcing her insecurity re: him and Jayce, given Viktor's own sense of wistful envy at the way Jayce's life seemed to be proceeding full speed ahead without him.

But in the end, neither he nor Mel are with Jayce. The futility of human endeavor, no?

[phantomrose96]

I've got some specific and extremely strong aversions to certain repetitive motions/noises, and I've noticed the uniting factor among all of them is that the thing happening is going to go on indefinitely.

People talking in the office doesn't bug me, but someone using a mechanical keyboard is torturous. I don't mind the noises of cars/people passing by in the street, but hearing my neighbor's tv from below kills me. I don't mind being around people who are eating, but being around someone chewing gum is utter hell.

The other part about this which is hell is these extreme aversions aren't common, so I know I'm not being the reasonable one to expect no one to ever use a mechanical keyboard around me, or ever chew gum around me, or put on the tv around me. And I think that adds to it because I know I'm not in the right to ask these things to stop (I do, sometimes, if I'm friendly with the person and I try to make it clear this is a huge favor to me but still.)

Anyway I'm just kinda musing out loud but also wondering if this is maybe a thing in like... some capacity. Being stuck in the vicinity of some noise/visual motion which is repetitive, will continue indefinitely, and which I have no say in making stop. The ongoing-ness and the I-don't-control-when-or-how-it-stops-ness. Like is that a neurosis with a name? Chinese water torture would unravel me at the molecular level.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmen Anthony Berzatto, do we have a mental health problem?

You might wanna read this for context first.

I’m gonna get academic boring for a whole minute here, so feel free to just skip right to my point at the bottom.

Whilst Carmy definitely has mommy issues, and even daddy issues as well, plus he has sublimated his sexual attraction for Syd in getting a bullshit star for her as explained and predicted here, which triggered a relapse in his addition (workaholism), as I described and predicted here. That behavior, like any addiction, is in essence a repressed sexual impulse (according to Freud). According to other experts, addiction can, in essence, be considered a neurosis (more based on Jung’s concept, which is more advanced than Freud’s but does integrate it) and all of those concepts are Freudian and thus psychoanalytical, there’s a reason why IRL psychoanalysis is not the line of treatment used to treat neither addiction nor any of the other conditions Carmy has, such as C-PTSD, burnout syndrome, etc., all the other stuff I mentioned here in the extended version. What I didn’t mention there is Carmy’s neurodivergency, AUADHD (educated observation based on Carmy’s monologue in S1 and basically Carmy’s behavior during THE WHOLE SERIES and his untrained and innate talent in the arts that leads to alienation, etc) because neurodivergencies are not mental health issues, necessarily, so they shouldn’t be put on that list.

Carmy’s case is a clear case that IRL would be treated with a combo of Systemic Therapy + the classic line of treatment for addiction based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) + what nowadays is starting to be also paired with neuroscience therapy (NT) and giving very positive results. I won’t bore you even further with the figures but they can easily be found online.

My point is: The Bear, the name of the show, represents not just Carmy Berzatto, The Bear, but also the place where many souls come together to interact with each other and all those lives are going to intrinsically be changed by that experience, that has The Bear in common. Thus the show as a whole, including all of its characters, of course, is SYSTEMIC, which is the opposite of the Psychoanalytic approach. And it's super important to take this into account because the systemic approach in mental health and in every other field where it's applied, like in business, or even education, etc is an approach in which everything is viewed as part of a whole, it's basically like a continuous dance between the individual personal perception and it's environment and how they both affect each other, whereas the psychoanalysis' ultimate goal is getting as deep in the individual psyche as possible, dive into the individual's deepest unconscious.

In case you are wondering, I do have the credentials but I'm also and most importantly, one of those who believe that you don't need credentials to discuss mental health, and this show is among other stuff very much about mental health. What you need is the desire to be aware of it and as a matter of fact, I strongly advocate IRL for mental health to be actively talked about in class since elementary school and included as part of the curricular activities throughout the entirety of the school years, all the way to Senior year. Basically, I'm all for even kids with no Elementary education credentials talking about mental health. Mental Health shouldn't be an elite topic, or taboo, or necessarily a "problem". That doesn't mean that misinformation should be spread, clearly, and I have seen A LOT OF IT AROUND HERE LATELY WHICH DROVE ME NUTS, but it does mean that the fact that I have plenty of credentials to talk about this matter, is not the point.

So, back to my point: when those kids go out into the "adult world" they not only have an accurate self-awareness about their own mental health, but they also have more empathy for others and tools to cope with what we all know they will have to cope at some point in a world that is far from perfect, but most importantly have compassion. All of this to say: cases like Carmy's, Donna's, Michael's, Chef Fields, etc could be prevented or not as dramatic if we'd look at mental health as "a must" to be dealt with from a very young age, at home, school, later at work, etc. We shouldn't talk about it only if there's a problem that moves us to go and get help, or that makes us wanna go to therapy. NO! Mental health awareness can be as simple as a breakfast at home where we actually talk and listen for a few minutes while we have that cup of coffee or dig into that bowl of cereal, mental health awareness can be us watching The Bear as a family and using that space to vent about how we see ourselves or our families represented by that scene on the screen, mental health awareness can be us choosing not to lash out at someone WHO DESERVES IT BC THEY ARE BEING A BULLY or trying to get attention in a passive-aggressive way and rather set healthy boundaries, this can be practiced online or offline, of course. Mental health awareness is understanding -or trying our best to- that the person we are interacting in one way or the other with, can very well be in this headspace:

I said understand, not necessarily tolerate. But that understanding based on compassion can change it all. That is my point.

Bonus track: I am still mad at Storer but I forgave him, kinda like what Syd keeps doing with Carm because she gets what I just said, she's a natural. BUT Storer is still, and will always be, my spirit animal because he portrayed mental health like I have never seen on TV before. No misstep he takes, and he did take a few this last season, will ever undo the amazing job he did in the past, and I will always be grateful to him for that. He started a conversation that was loooooooooooong overdue.

[snowychicken]

IT GETS BETTER IN SUCH SMALL DOSES

CURB EVERY NEUROSIS YOU'LL BARELY NOTICE

THERE'S A DRUG WE CAN GIVE YOU FOR THAT MY FRIEND

BUT FIRST STAY FOR TEA IT DID WONDERS FOR ME

[ravenkings]

The attitude of modern civilized man sometimes reminds me of a psychotic patient in my clinic who was himself a doctor. One morning I asked him how he was. He replied that he had had a wonderful night disinfecting the whole of heaven with mercuric chloride, but that in the course of this thorough-going sanitary process he had found no trace of God. Here we see a neurosis or something worse. Instead of God or the "fear of God," there is an anxiety neurosis or some kind of phobia. The emotion has remained the same, but its object has changed both its name and nature for the worse.

–Carl G. Jung, "Approaching the Unconscious," Man and His Symbols