#nat doing a murder would be so much . So huge for her character

[lucyghoul]

i think natalie should kill kevyn tan. i don’t know why. 

[masterthespianduchovny]

At the beginning of age of avengers, someone assumes that Tony is the leader and he corrects them and say that it’s Steve.

And that surprised me because I assumed that Steve and Tony were co-leaders, but no, Steve was CHOSEN as the leader of the avengers. I was about to say that Tony was second in command, but I’m assuming that’s Nat.

But, as surprised as I was about this revelation (I literally hadn’t seen the movie in 8 years until 3 days ago), it instantly made sense.

As much as the anti Steve crowd hates on Steve, on several occasions we’ve seen Steve not only inspire people, but also get them to follow him. After someone commits to following Steve, they’re typically loyal to him.

We do not see this with Tony.

The issue with Tony isn’t that he’s flawed and has trauma, it’s how he treats others and how he processes trauma. When you lash out at others, ignore them, insult them (for your own amusement); don’t consider anyone else, etc, you more times than not will alienate people who are ok your side or, at least, want to be. A person having trauma doesn’t excuse how they treat others. And there is only so long most will people up with that behavior before leaving, which is their right.

I believe the only person who stayed by Tony’s side no matter what was Happy. Tony and Rhodey commonly fought and Rhodey even sided against Tony as well. Pepper had to take a break from Tony due to his own actions.

People can forgive flaws, but often struggle to forgive habitual poor behavior and various transgressions that comes with it.

We cannot except people to respect Tony or want to follow when he makes a joke about the PTSD (Capsickle), their traditional clothes (Thor), job endangerment (Rhodey; Tony made a transphobic joke about an event that didn’t happen), as well as sexual remarks (Natasha). And that’s not all that he did. This goes beyond being flaws, especially when you’re supposed to work with these people and they’re allegedly your friends.

He also doesn’t tell anyone about his trauma and OFTEN deflects, which may include insults or cracking inappropriate jokes. No one should have to deal with that all because someone is traumatized, especially as ALL OF THEM are dealing with their own and equally valid trauma.

Comparatively, Steve does not do that.

The people who work with Steve and are friends with him take him seriously. They support him and he supports them.

We see this going back to the 1940s. Peggy believed in Steve based off of his resilience and faith of convictions. She challenges him when he accepts his current circumstances.

After Steve saves literally over 400 men by himself, he earns the respect of not only colonel Phillips, but the men he saved as well. When he says he wants to pick his own team, in addition to the wish being respected, the chosen men flat out say that they’d follow Cap anywhere.

This must be stressed: these men were held prisoner and knew they’d encounter the most dangerous weapon and men in the entire war and readily agreed because Captain America asked.

In winter soldier, Steve is declared a criminal and is on the run. When he breaks into the shield headquarters, he gives his speech and EVERYONE minus hydra agents refuse to launch the coded because Captain America explain to them that some dangerous shit was going down. They believed his word because his actions and his character is THAT respected.

See the trend here: people listening and following Steve because they believe he’s genuine and wants to do what’s right.

In age of ultron, we hear a reference that he was chosen as leader. The events in this movie proves why Steve was chosen and Tony wasn’t.

Whether or not you believe Tony was right to crested ultron, he still should’ve told his team what Wanda made him see AND explained why he wanted to create this tech/weapon. Instead, he deliberately kept it a secret and pressured Bruce into helping him. Ironically, despite the claims that Steve feels like he knows that’s best, this is exactly what Tony assumes.

Let’s be clear: not only are Steve, nat, Bruce, hawk eye, and Thor adults, they are also avengers as well. They don’t need Tony to protect them and they all of the capabilities of deciding if they want to do something dangerous and risk their lives. And it’s ego centric as hell for him to actually believe that Steve, of all people, would guilt him by saying he should’ve saved them. Steve wouldn’t have done such a thing both saying that or even making Tony feel bad if he did all he could do.

Despite creating his murder bot due to not consulting his team because he knew they’d say no, Tony did it AGAIN.

Again, where’s the leadership? Where’s the accountability? Where’s the understanding that he may not like the answer, but he does owe it to his team to talk to them? And, again, he thinks he knows what’s best.

What does Steve do in this same movie? The twins start fighting besides him, which he doesn’t interfere with because ultron is the bigger threat. But, rather than fight them like his instinct tells them, he stop and listens to what they have to say.

I want to note that people like to say (and some are thinking), it’s good that Tony built what eventually became ultron, well, it’s good that Steve extended a hand to the twins. They also played a huge role in why the world didn’t lose half its popular, which was a consequence of Steve’s decision making.

Once Steve heard them out and was willing to let them into the fold, he defended them when other avengers tried to attack them. He didn’t leave them out to dry.

Then, when the actual fight happens Tony reveals a few minutes in that they have no other options but to abandon civilians and let them die.

Steve flat out refuses that as an option and makes the PERSONAL decision to stay until every civilian is safe. Not one person will be left to die.

I don’t know about anyone else, but Steve comes off as the clear leader and Tony doesn’t.

What happens next is that literally every current avenger and the twins stay to help. Nat literally tells Steve that this would be a beautiful place to die and explicitly says she’s fighting alongside him.

Whether or not Steve spoke to people, he inspired them to follow him by his actions.

Who is inspired to follow Tony?

Tony flirts with retirement, which no criticism against that.

But, alongside nat, Steve personally trains Sam, Rhodey, and Wanda for team avengers. After accepting Wanda into the fold, he treats her life everyone else.

In civil war, Steve was hands on with wandas training so she could control her power and made sure was protected. He accepted responsibility for not accounting for unforeseen threats, such as the explosives and explained to Wanda the realities of their job. He was realistic with her, but used that as motivation as to why they should strive to be better. Steve was outraged when he found out that she was locked up and freed her from Tony’s unlawful imprisonment.

Even if someone argues she should be locked up, Tony did not talk to her. Wanda didn’t consent to being confined to the house. This is another example of believing he knew what was best for people rather than talking to them and seeing how they feel. He isn’t giving others the right to make informed decisions for themselves and in general.

Steve, on the other hand, consistently considers what people feel because he TALKS to people. He has meaningful conversations with people, such as nat and Sam. Steve formed connections to people, which made them feel close to him.

But, let’s circle back to Tony, he takes a MINOR without the explicit consent of his guardian. Not only does he take Peter without May’s permission, he takes Peter OVERSEAS and to fight at that.

To make matters worse, Peter doesn’t know WHY he’s fighting or what for.

Where’s the oversight or accountability in any of that?

During the fight, someone flat out asks how old Peter is. Tony follows up after the fight, during homecoming, with almost inviting Peter to stay at the avengers compound. As a reminder, Peter was still a literal teenager and Tony still DID NOT ask peter’s guardian if this was okay.

Where as Steve explicitly tells people what they are getting into. He lays out what to expect and that you have a choice in it. Steve never pressures people into helping him and they usually volunteer. And, whatever happens afterwards, he’s there for them.

How was Tony’s mentorship with Peter?

He’s not actively involved with Peter after taking him in as a mentee, pawns him off in Happy, thinks at status reports are sufficient, and ignored Peter’s concerns. Peter was a minor who just had the most surreal experience of his life and Tony doesn’t think this kid would be amped and itching to do more?

Tony doesn’t think Peter might need some hands on mentorship? Tony thought he could mentor from afar with updates and camera footage, but it actually engage.

Them damned accords!

Tony signed the document due to guilt and tried to get others to sign it despite him being mostly responsible for why the accord even exist or, at least, did a lot of shit that is now being penalized. I’m not sure if he actually read it OR if someone summarized the point.

Whereas Steve DID read the accords and his stance wasn’t one of guilt, but concern and ethical issues with what’s in the accords. Steve was prepared to retire because his beliefs didn’t align with what was being asked of him and others. He didn’t ask anyone to back or follow him.

But, people do eventually back him and follow his lead. They know exactly what they’re getting into. And, despite knowing the risks and eventually getting arrested, they stick to their convictions.

When Tony finds out that Bucky killed his parents, despite knowing that Bucky was brainwashed for LITERALLY decades, he tries to kill him. When cap realizes this, he constantly tries to neutralize Tony.

Let’s go back. Steve knowing that Bucky needs to be arrested, decides to save Bucky both for Bucky’s protection AND so those trying to bring him in doesn’t get hurt/killed. Once Bucky is safely arrested, Steve lets the situation go.

Oh, before I really get into infinity wars, there is no mention of Wanda harming other people even accidentally. :)

Tony, as usual, ignores what others wanted, like strange, and think he knows what’s best. He plans to fight thanos henchman by himself as well as thanos completely ignoring the concept of teamwork. (He also jumps to insulting others for his own shits and giggles—keep in mind, these are people he doesn’t know).

What does Steve do?

He was successfully on the run with nat and Sam and they worked together as a TEAM to save vision. They then meet up with rhodey and formulate a plan as to how to stop thanos. Steve coordinates with various people to have the battle in Wakanda. He doesn’t assume he can fight thanos by himself or should.

Steve refuses to trade lives because every life is valuable.

When the Snap happens, Tony fucks up into his cabin in the woods and lives his life.

And what does Steve do?

Run a support group to keep hope alive for people who are trying to see the best in a shitty situation.

He stays an avenger and does whatever needs to be done because he’s there to serve the people regardless of the despair he feels.

Don’t get it twisted, Steve is not perfect, but he constantly led by example, put the wants and needs of others before himself, was a hands on mentor, listened and supported others, and refused to leave anyone behind and/or die. He was always willing to be the only man fighting the battle and even to die for his beliefs.

And this man is called selfish by some.

Where as Tony consistently believed he knew what was best for others, was willing to let people die, was a shit mentor, mocked and ridiculed others, put his own feelings first, etc.

And this is seen as a leader???

Let’s not forget that dangerous tech he left to a MINOR after he died. Peter was so overwhelmed by the responsibility, he gave it to the first person who listened to him and who he believed to be responsible. This isn’t a condemnation of people. Again, his a literal minor—15 or 16. Who is overwhelmed about the shit stark left on his shoulders.

When old cap spoke to Sam, he gave AN ADULT, his shield. One with loved experiences and who knew how to handle complicated feelings. He knew what Sam was willing to handle and could handle.

And another thing: the fact that people were willing to go on the run with Steve says a lot. This is the second time Steve has been on the run and people, Sam and nat, were willing to follow him and assist (both times).

Tony couldn’t even get people to stay faithful to the legal accords. Rhodey said peace out as soon as cap returned. Nat abandoned Tony to join Steve. Vision questioned his life choices, and then went black to be with Wanda. And Peter didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

And Tony stans think he should’ve been leader based off of using his money for the avengers and giving them a place to crash.

LOL!

People want Wanda to apologize to Tony for invading his mind when he should apologize for her parents dying. If you’re a weapons manufacturer, there’s no such thing as believing only the “good guys” will use your weapons. You know your weapons could and will get into the wrong hands. And you also know that without war, you’d be out of a job. But, also the “good guys” are usually imperialist who fuck over other countries as they undermined these government structures to steal resources from them and other shit.

Just because starks stopped manufacturing weapons doesn’t mean he can escape accountability for what his weapons did to others.

Tony also ratted out that Clint had a family and was fine with them being jailed because they took the “wrong” side. Did he apologize to any of these people? The ones he had jailed and the ones who were forced to go on the run for a bill he supported, and then admitted was fucked up? (The same law he later broke twice.)

But, he’s a leader???

[alloftheblackwidowfeelings]

Almost every reviewer on YouTube wasn’t satisfied with this movie IMO they said it was just Marvel combined some elements from other marvel movies so they could throw fans a BW movie so we could stfu, it didn’t do justice to the the character ,what do you think, is it really that bad.

To be honest, I've been working on this one for a while but I keep writing and deleting my response. Because all the things I want to say sound gatekeeper-y, in one of several ways.

I think you can be a Nat fan and not read the comics. I think you can be a Nat fan and never talk about her. I don't think you need to know everything about canon and be an "expert" to be a fan. I'm not interested in a locked-gate version of fandom. I don't think this movie should just be for die-hard Nat fans. And I don't think that all Nat fans will like this movie, for a variety of reasons.

Despite all of that, a lot of the comic book/movie expert reviews I've seen feel, to me, like they were evaluating a movie that isn't the one this movie was ever trying to be, and missing some of what the movie explicitly says it is because that doesn't fit what they want from it.

A bit more spoilery and a lot longer under the cut. I am so sorry I'm like this.

This movie felt tailor-made for me. Not because I loved every answer they gave, but because the questions they asked are ones I've been waiting to hear since 2012, when I first saw Avengers and then immediately went back to see the rest of phase 1. I think people disliking the answers is a legitimate opinion, and I'm looking forward to detangling that with people. What surprised me in reviews was not reviewers disliking the answers, which is legit, but not even seeming to realize the questions had been asked.

Most prominently, what felt like the huge thematic arc of the movie to me has been nonexistent in so many reviews that I've started to feel like I made it up, even though I took notes of exact quotes so I could reference them. The movie isn't a Nat origin story, and it's not about her as a cool edgy villain, so not seeing either of those didn't bother me. It's a movie about Natasha's trauma and how that manifests, and how her attempts to break free of it have harmed others in the past, and how she can move forward from that. We never get the key that unlocks the history of Natasha's past, so if you approach this as a puzzle box, it's going to fail.

THIS INDENTED PARAGRAPH IS THE CLOSEST I GET TO DIRECT PLOT POINTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP

Specifically most of the reviews seem to view Nat's motivating guilt as over how she escaped the Red Room, particularly one casualty she deemed an acceptable sacrifice. But as I interpreted it, Nat's guilt in this movie came from a much closer place: the other Widows were all she'd had, and Nat being able to escape the Red Room made the Red Room hold on to the other Widows that much tighter. She thought she'd taken it down, but she was wrong. So her freedom, essentially, came at their expense. Natasha working to take down the Red Room this time is personal both to avenge her own trauma and to make up for her guilt in the Red Room still existing and creating more trauma for her peers. Without this context (and to be clear, I have gone back over the quotes several times to see if I'm misinterpreting and I really don't think I am), the idea that all of her guilt is over what she did to a single person makes more sense, but it also makes the movie a lot less interesting. If Natasha is justified in blaming Alexei and Melina for condemning her back to the Red Room, how could the other Widows not blame Nat? To me the entire story swings from that, and by not acknowledging Nat's (inadvertent but still very real) responsibility for continuing the cycle, the movie would feel hollow.

PLOT POINTS OVER.

Many critics they seem to feel like the potential this movie introduced was wasted because Nat's dead, so what's the point. First of all, the point is she's Nat and we care. It's not like we went in to Iron Man expecting that we'd have a decade of a franchise; we cared in the moment, and this movie is asking for the same thing. It delivers for over two hours of NOT murdering Natasha, which is more than I can say for Endgame.

To be clear, BW does set up other things for the MCU, and it's but if you're only watching it for what it's going to tell you about the future of the MCU (and I get it, because that's how I'm watching Loki, and it's a very different type of watching than I did for FATWS), this probably IS going to be a disappointment, because this isn't a big crossover event movie; I mean, none of Sam's "Big Three" show up at all. But again, that's about the movie someone wanted it to be, not the movie this was aiming to be.

Is this like a lot of other Marvel movies? Kinda. It's definitely taking a lot from Civil War for its set-up. Its arc felt like a close mirror of to Winter Soldier to me, to the extent that I'm planning to rewatch that on Thursday so I can see how much that's just me projecting my fave onto it. The third act is very Marvel-third-act-y, as adapted to Nat's character; the adapting to Nat's character are the parts I like and the rest is kind of what I consider the MCU price of admission.

I also kind of hate that it feels like the last few movies- Black Panther, Captain Marvel, now this and some rumblings about Shang-Chi- have all been kind of dismissed with "it's just the Marvel formula." It is, but that doesn't change the fact that different protagonists make it different. Dr Strange is pretty much just "Iron Man 1 with cool magic" and people didn't mind, but "how does this formula change when the protagonist is fundamentally different than the archetype to this point?" is apparently not different enough. I get Marvel fatigue, I really do, but for me it's tempered by how, in this case, Nat doesn't have the moral clarity Steve or Thor or even Tony or Scott has. No one in this movie lets her forget that she's a trained killer who little kids look up to.

Again: there are parts of this movie that don't work. I also don't ever ever EVER want to seem like I'm saying that if someone didn't like this movie they're not a real Nat fan or they're wrong. I know there are reasons to not love this movie, and I'm sure I'll figure out more the more I watch- it may not make me not love it, but it will at least complicate it for me, and i think we all know I live for that shit. Moreover, I intimately know how much it sucks when something you've been enthusiastic about and anticipating for ages doesn't pay off and everyone else seems to like it- it's isolating and upsetting and you just sit there wondering why no one else understands, and that's bullshit and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. People who don't like this movie are valid!

But if someone has a history of seeing Nat as just background, or considering her as a T&A deliver system more than as a character, or caring about hot women with guns but not care about the trauma that turned them into that, or saying they like movies about women but just not THIS woman for every comic book movie about a woman not there for them to ogle, or claiming to be experts in all things comics while doubling down on their theory that Yelena wouldn't appear because she was in Agent Carter (YES THAT HAPPENED, MORE THAN ONCE, THE NORTH. FUCKING. REMEMBERS. AND WISHES THEY KNEW WHERE THEY SAVED THOSE SCREENSHOTS), I don't need to weight their reviews heavier than the adrenaline rush I felt watching this movie.

So in answer to your question, I don't think the movie was really "that bad." I think this movie delivers in very specific ways, which definitely are not the flashy ones or the "every Marvel movie builds to the next great EVENT" ones or the male power fantasy ones, and if those ways aren't the ways you care about, it's going to be a disappointment. Even if those AREN'T the ones you care about, it could be a disappointment for any number of reasons, some of which I noticed during the movie and some of which I'm sure I'll be surprised to read about Friday morning.

But it wasn't one to me. For whatever it's worth, despite the movie's flaws, I loved it, I haven't stopped thinking about it in five days, I can't wait to see it again, and I hope that whether other people do or don't like it, they want to roll around in it as much as I do to pick out every single shred of canon worth overanalyzing.

If this is all we ever get for Natasha- and it is a CRIME if this is all we ever get for Natasha but that doesn't mean it's not so- I am grateful that this is what we got.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Great Cult of Torpal.

Sorry this is so long. My group consisted of me, a high charisma and exceedingly handsome chaotic good half orc bard named Xavier, a jittery and nervous chaotic neutral tiefling rogue named Ell, a intelligent but spacey headed chaotic good elf Druid Victoria, and a chaotic neutral dwarf barbarism named Maximilian. We were given a mission by a local Countess to kill a dragon hiding in her mountains that controlled a large and pesky cult. Long story short, we somehow snuck through a camp of like 300 cultists and found ourself face to face with a great dragon named Torpal (Parks and Rec reference from our DM). The dragon was poised to set us ablaze:

Me: I roll to seduce.

Table and DM: groan…

DM: Fine. Depending on your roll you have to RP what you’re going to say.

Me: rolls a nat 20 and with my charisma it’s more ham enough. *ahem*

Xavier: “Oh great and handsome dragon. We came all this way from the countess herself to clear her lands of what we were told was an evil scourge. Now that we are here before you in this great chamber of riches, I am filled with deepest regret and reverence. It is clear to my eye that the most handsome and valuable item is you. Your eyes glow with the light, brighter than any gem, and the gold glistens on your scales in a way that’s more inspiring than any goldsmiths creation. You are clearly a most wise, gracious and handsome dragon.”

Table: *stares in silence*

DM: ….okay!

Torpal: “I thought to murder you and make a snack of your flesh, but clearly you have the silver tongue of a god. I’d like to see what else you can do with that.”

Max: *snerk, heh* Vic: *smacks dwarf and sssh’s him* Ell: *silently gags*

Torpal: *continuing after a glare at my companions* “For now, I will grant you safe passage through my cave and camp. *tosses a great gold emblem with a few runes and symbols* This will show all my affection for you, Silver One. It will show all my simpleton followers you and your… friends… are not to be harmed, and that your word carries weight. Wear it well. Return to me after you’ve told that lithesome countess we will not bother her any more.”

DM: you leave the cave and upon exit, all 300 cultist are wielding weapons ready to strike. When they see the symbol you carry, all bow. One approaches.

Cultist leader: “oh beloved of Torpal, Blessed by the Great Dragon, what is your wish of your humble servants?”

Xavier: “You are to no longer harm the innocents of this land. Instead, you will make your riches from slaying bandits, evil creatures, and those that seek to harm us. Also, as a reminder to all that live in these lands, you will leave small pieces of stinky cheese in hidden places throughout the towns and villages. That is all. Keep it real, yo.”

*we leave the camp*

Max: “Damn. Any tips for getting me a sugar momma dragon?”

Xavier: “washing your beard now and then would help.”

Max: “then I’ll be broke and single forever. At least I’m drunk.”

And that’s how my character ended up with a sugar daddy dragon boyfriend. The DM was completely thrown through a loop with it, but was awesome and created a major quest around helping Torpal and his Cultist with something huge. Much to the chagrin of my companions.

[popculturebuffet]

Blacksad: Somewhere In the Shadows Review

Hello you beautiful people! I have a WEIRD relationship with Noir. It’s weird because i’ve never really dived into the films of type, though I really should, But as a kid I absolutely LOVED the tracer bullet arcs in Calvin and Hobbes, where everyone’s favorite hyperactive and imaginative six year old would plant himself as the hero in a noir pastiche.. ironically like myself Bill Watterson was also not a huge noir buff and just relied on Cliches but hey, it worked. 

Still love these. So from fourth grade on it imprinted a lifelong love of a good bit of detective noir. Not enough to you know, get me to read any traditional noir books or watch any noir tv shows or detective procedurals but I still love a good mystery from time to time and some of my favorite comics such as Howard the Duck by Chip Zdarksy and Peter David’s second run on x-factor run on the genre while having fun with it’s cliches. 

I also love anthropormphic animal stories. Dunno why, I just do, so once I found out about Blacksad, a comic that combines disney quality art from a former disney animator with gripping, adult noir that rips your heart out... I couldn’t resisit trying it. Telling the tale of John Blacksad, a cynical private detective and the cases he steps into via gorgeous, straight out of a disney storyboard art, the series is by  Juan Díaz Canales (writer) and Juanjo Guarnido (artist), the latter a former Disney artist who worked on several Disney films, meeting in the 90′s while working on licensed works and hitting it off, leading to this series.  That’s.. really all I could find about the making of the series in English. The only other fact is the series is designed for first release in France, which has a huge comics market, hence the various volumes being called “Albums”, with them later being released in Spain and then english, currently in the latter through Dark Horse Comics, who last year collected the current 5 albums and some side stories into one big volume. And with Dark Horse having infrequent sales including Blacksad on comixology it’s easy enough to pick up all 5 volumes in one complete package on digital for 9 bucks, as it is right now. Seriously I’m not trying to shill for Comixology or Dark Horse, I just love these comics and suggest picking them up. The creators DO intend on new volumes... it’s just both have been busy with other work so they’ve been stuck in development hell since 2013. However given there have always been, if much smaller, the biggest being 5 years, gaps between the Albums, I don’t think the series is dead quite yet and with Dark Horse fully backing it, taking the series from only two volumes getting translated to both translating the first four AND translating the fifth within a year of it’s release, we’ll undoubtly get the next one quickly. The series has also spawned a game, Under the Skin, which i’ll probably also cover some day as i’m dying to play it, but i’m waiting for a sale because it’s around 30 bucks and I can wait. It’s also been nominated for an Eisner three times to no suprise and has had fans in Stan Lee, Jim Steranko, Tim Sale and Will freaking Eisner. Yes the GUY the awards were named after liked the series.  So yeah, I love this series and highly support it, but the thought of covering it hadn’t occrued to me.. in part because I already had three comic retrsopectives going, my looks at The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, Scott Pilgrim and New X-Men, and simply because I just hadn’t thought of it till Kevin, frequent patron and comissioner of the blog whose paid for tons of reivews, suggested covering the second Album, Arctic Nation, which has our hero searching for a missing little girl he feels has been taken by the titular white supramacist movement.. and if your wondering “Wait how the fuck does that work their animals”, John is black coded due to his black fur, while the white suprmacists are all Arctic Animals.. a touch I really like as I’d honestly never thought of that as a metaphor but it fits like a glove, especially given that most white furred arctic mamals are pretty agressive looking. So yeah I’ll be covering that one next month for Black History Month, among many other things, but I felt I wanted to cover the series in order and since again, it’s only the second of five and I had a free space on the schedule. So without further adew, join me somewhere in the shadows and under the cut as we enter the world of one John Blacksad. 

We open as you’d expect for a Noir with a heady narration and a murder. John was brought in by Smirnov, the chief of police and an old aquantice who serves as his Commissioner Gordon. Since the victim is John’s ex, he was brought in to see if he knows anything and as you’d expect warned not to look into it further, as John dosen’t buy this was a simple robbery. His response is exactly what you’d expect. 

I mean.. what did you expect? You called him out of bed to see his former lovers corpse, KNOWING he’s one hell of detective, dosen’t give up on things easy, and would probably be curious. For him to say “Cool gonna go smoke some reefer and take in a looney tunes short at the theater, call me when you find the murderer?” Also  this series takes place in the 50s. Because of course it does. 

So John goes back to his office to brood, reflecting that the office feels like the remains of an ancient civlization because “It seems to be all that remains of the civlized person I used to be”. Hell of a line. 

We then get his backstory with the victim, Natalia. She’s a famous actress, who John first as a younger man when hired to investgate some death threats she’d received with a boquet of flowers. John shows off just how good he is at his job in just a few panels. 

IT not only shows in just a few panels just how ferocious our hero can be when needed and how good he is at his job, easily having tracked down the man responsible and scared him shitless without breaking as sweat, but how fucking gorgeous the art is. I meant it when I brought up the old disney comparison, as Steranko even mentioned in his introduction to the collection of the first three volumes how it looks like animation cels on the page. IT’s utterly breathtaking and ONLY gets even more lush and beautiful as the series goes on and perfectly fits the noir stylings with it’s realisim, making it’s animal characters feel utterly human and real while still keeping their animal traits in perfect detail. 

John impressed her, and as we see in the next page under his narration they not only had really steamy passionate sex, and why yes we do see them naked even if the bits are covered it’s still very much nsfw and we saw Natalia’s naked corpse earlier, so that ship had already sailed anyway, with Natalia taking him on both as her lover and her on staff detective and the two were much in love.. until the fame apparenlty got to her judging from the visuals, and the realtionship fell apart. 

Before we move on i’d like to talk about the narration which CAN be a bit overwrought here or there and is a bit overused.. but does have it’s mometns of being utterly effective as with above, contrasting John’s statments about a sucessful job and being hired on.. with the beginnings of his and Natalia’s relationship and their passionate lovemaking. IT’s not BAD and it works for the setting, but it can be distracting, but thankfully the series levels this out as we go and they learned from it so no harm done. Just the kinda thing that happens early in a series life when the creators are getting a handle on things, so no harm done. 

But naturally John isn’t going to take the love of his life, responsible for the happiest days of said life, being brutally murdered lying down and is going to find the bastard who did this. So he goes to an old friend, Jake Ositombe, a championship boxer and Nat’s former bodyguard who he recommended to her. Given we see him knock the shit out of his opponent without the slightest effort, yeah good call. Also yes we share the same name and no it’s not weird to type about another Jake, adventure time sorta.. knocked that out of me. Jake dosen’t know much since she fired him a long time ago as one of her lovers hired private security, and the last one he knew of was a guy by the name of Leon.  John, naturally, easily finds the guy’s apartment, Leon Kronkski, a screenwriter.. but also rules him out as the guy lived in a humble apartment and clearly didn’t have the cash to hire his own hired goons. 

He does find a clue, a matchbook for some place called the Cypher Club.. and another when the man’s sweet  mouse landlady shows up, who John charms by pretending to be Leon’s friend and flashing a big smile, finding out a msyterious man with “big bulging eyes”, took him. This scene also to me is great in subtly showing off John’s skill. While the previous flashback showed how badass he is, shoving a gun down the throat of a stalking wannabe murderer with pure rage in his eyes.. here we see a lighter approach, how despite his serious and dour nature.. he easily slips into being cheery and looking like an average joe off the street. He bluffs the landlady not because the plot says so.. but because like any PI he’s just that good at slipping into whatever roll he needs to get the info he needs. He can be his dour self or a charming happy go lucky guy without missing a beat. 

So with that he goes to the studio leon worked for where his boss.. is a walrus j jonah jameson?

But yeah J. Jonah Walruson wants pictures of spider-man.. moving pictures.. but he can’t film them with his star dead and his screenwriter indefintiely gone, with the same bulging eyed man having told JJ he’d be gone indefintely. Nothing suspicious about that!

So naturally John’s next plan is to find the guy.. who is already after him as you’d expect with both a knife to slash at our hero with and the fog covering him so he can hit and run. But unluckily for him .. well i’ll let john say it...

John  headbutts the myserious snake, who only managed to get his coat before and tries to interogate him.. but gets a quick jab to the gut and the guy gets away. 

We soon meet our big bag, who has a big speech about insects and things being usefufl.. and once they stop being useful.. they become dead and collectable, telling the snake man to back off John.. and sending his right hand man to go take care of the Snake who apparently took something from the office. Realizing his numbers up the Snake Man goes to a lizard bar, picks up a package from a friend and runs out the back, knowing he’s being followed.. and we get some hints there’s also racial tension between lizards and mammials here as the bartender, said friend, has the entire bar circle around the guy preventing him from following our mysterious bulging eyed man. 

Meanwhile John goes to the Cipher Club, a wretched hive of scum and villiany. Given Nat was a glamorous movie star, it’s very clear she was here to hide from something or someone, and the bartnender, a wild pig. 

No not you sweetie. The wild pig tells John leon was indeed here and a local rat, in both senses of the word, offers to take John to him.. though understandably John is supscious of the guy he just met in a seedy bar taking him anywhere except to get some heroin. Did Heroin exist yet? Questions for later. But he’s got a case so he follows. Though suprisingly the guy DOES actually come through and it’s not ENTIRELY a trap: he takes john to a tomb for Noel Krinsok.. an anagram for Leon’s name. Unsuprisingly he’s dead. And also unsuprisingly, two hired goons

Show up. As I said not ENTIRELY a trap but it’s obvious given the rat split moments before that our mysterious big bad knew where john would be headed next, and thus while giving him a clue, also set him up to get his head knocked in. And while John is badass.. these guys are a bear and a rhino,  both stronger, bigger, and with suprise on their size, as well as a tombstone to knock john’s head into. They easily beat him senseless and hope he got the message, though john gives a defiant fuck you before being punched out for it. He returns home, feeling like he’s aged 20 years “But no one respects the elderly anymore”, PFFT, and heads home to his rathole, not literally this time, apartment to lay on his cot and think as he gets some rest. 

And while the trail for Leon is cold. our mysterious murderer accidently tipped his hand: only someone with a LOT of money and influence could make a man disappear like this, and it tracks with what we’ve seen so far. The guy has multiple henchman and despite being a big star with plenty of clout, Natalia had to hide in a dive bar just to get away from him and even THEN clearly wasn’t so lucky given she and her new lover both wound up dead.  But Blacksad has bigger problems.. he wakes up in a jail cell.

Turns out Smirnkov had him arrested.. but for his own protection as the case is getting too hot and while he was late on that front given John’s face is hamburger, it’s clear from his tone and demeanor that while he may of been harsh with John earlier.. the two are old friends, and the Chief is simply worried about him winding up dead, and John takes you know being thrown in prison in stride. Which while not a bad scene it is a BIT suspect that a black coded character was thrown in jail for nothing and it’s treated very lightly and as a simple protection between friends, though given they wouldn’t think of coding john like that till next volume, I brush it off as accidental implications in hindsight. 

Smirnkov though also called John here.. because he needs his help. Since Natalia’s Murder Case is pointing very high up, so his superiors have ordered him to bury the case and as he puts it “the bastards know where to squeeze”. And given in volume 3 we learn Smirnov has a wife and children, it’s very obvious where they squoze and to the volume’s credit while we don’t know that yet it’s VERY clear from Smirnov’s body language they went after some form of family. So while he has to give it up.. John does not. So he brought him to jail to offer a proposal: John goes after this son of a bitch and nails him to the wall.. and Smirnov will FULLY protect John no matter what he has to do.  Now naturally given the rightful reckoning for police that’s been going on for almost a year, this SHOULDN’T play well. You have an officer outright telling an outside party that he and his boys will cover up his crimes. But.. honestly even in that framework.. it still works. That’s because.. the system has failed here. The higher up and more corrupt cops put pressure on the honest and hardworking family man Smirnov to stop a legitimate investigation into a horrible murderer.. because the guy is rich. And even now we’ve seen time and time again how rich assholes effortlessly escape the consequences of their action: How our own president who actively asked other nations to interfere in our election escaped his first impeachment trial, but hopefully not the second, aquitted. How Jeffery Epstien took YEARS to bring down with his years of ellicit parties involving innocent women and children he fucking enslaved. How Bill Cosby got away with all kinds of sexual assault for decades. The rich are often literally above the law in this country, so having a down on his luck detective, who retroactively himself is a minority, go after him with the full support of an actually GOOD police officer who genuinely believes in these people being held accountable but is held back by his family’s safety.. it works. John isn’t able to skirt consequences BECAUSE of a corrupt system.. but because the system’s so broken and slanted in the rich’s favor, that the ONLY option an honest officer like Smirnov has is to go outside it. And when asked WHY he’s doing all of this, Smirnov merley replies

... I got chills, their multiplyin. So John plans to find the bulge eyed snake after a hot shower.. only for the guy to hold a gun to John’s head, having been waiting for him and wave the murder weapon, in a baggie around, the item he had retrieved, feeling John’s trying to replace him as number two. However before he can do anything our snake  pal is shot full of holes by the rat from before, who John dispatches with his own gun. 

So the Snake starts to expire.. but feels a kinship with John “We are nothing right cat? Spent so much time waiting for the right chance and when it happens it all falls to pieces”. The Snake explains his roll in things: He was one of the private security our big bad hired to guard Natalia. But being supscious he also hired the rat to follow her around, and thus found out about her affair, brutally torturing and murdering Leon and shooting Natalia in the head. And we finally get a name as our snake friend tragically expires. 

The snake’s death and tragic dying moments are something I forgot about.. but damn if their not really good writing, taking a character who before was seemingly just a murderous goon.. and comparing him to our hero. Another working class joe, and one who just caught up with the wrong asshole at the wrong time. He easily could’ve been john in another life and vice vers and it’s a good parallel. 

So John’s nightmares finally have  name and he naturally goes to confront the guy since he has an almost literal get out of jail free card. Turns out Smirnov is the richest man in town, and has his own big tower. Huh.. sounds familiar, and John simply sneaks his way up and once Statoc’s guards from before hear him rustling about.. sneaks up on them and clocks both one at at time with a fire extinqusher. 

Statoc warmly welcomes our hero inside, and has the fucking lizard balls, as he’s some sort of lizard himself, to offer John a JOB

I mean he’s clearly lost a lot of his goons and most of them were incompetent. He fails to realize that John can’t be bought, is here for vengeance and has no intention of selling his soul to some rich asshole who killed someone he loved for the creepiest and most asinine reasons imaginable. He says john’s Concisence is why he can’t pull the trigger and that he lacks “cold blood”.. before we cut to the next page, where John’s shot the fucker in the head and left a gaping hole where his lack of a brain was. 

And again what makes this work is the aftermath: John is clearly shaken, having ONLY been able to pull the trigger beause of Statoc’s smug grin and clearly not taking the sight of Statoc’s dead body bleeding out well. And while Smirnov keeps his word, covers for him despite the two guards clearly providing an iron clad argument against john and knoiwng thier blatantly covering this up.. he’s not happy about it. 

This is WHY the narrtive still works. Statoc stacked the law against the bad guys. .but despite this being a necessary evil.. it’s still an evil and subverting teh law at this rightly leaves him not in a great place mentally. John himself isn’t even if he plays it off as otherwise, as we get our final bit of narration and one hell of a closing line. 

Final Thoughts:

Somewhere in the Shadows is a bit rough around the edges, leaning a bit too heavily into the noir pastiche and Blacksad being a harboiled detective, something the next volume would ease up on. That being said.. it’s still a masterpiece, with gorgeous art and masterful pacing. While it’s the shortest of the stories, like those after it the pacing is sublime and never feels like it has any down moments or stuff that could’ve been cut, and the mystery keeps you on edge the whole time. Having forgot a lot of the details since last read I was on the edge of my seat the entire story and loving every second of it. Somewhere in the Shadows is the perfect starter for the series, introducing an important charcter in Smirnov and the noir nature and giving us a case personal to John so we can see who he was before, what he is now.. and what he WILL be for the rest of the series. The moment that MADE him into an even harder man than the one we follows here.. when he took a life in cold blood. A masterful story, seriously check it and the other volumes out, on comixology, in stores, great stuff. Next time we look into john and as I said, he’s taking down some racists and we also meet his sidekick weekly for the first time. As for me tommorow I dive back into my Tom Luictor retrospective but hit pause on our boy for a bit to take care of some of the larger plot.   Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure. 

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch23: In The Flesh Part 2: Unwelcome Distractions

Summary: The Avengers are hot on the trail of Ultron...but once again, things don’t go according to plan and a tangle with the Maximoff twins leaves the team shaken.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Bad language, violence and crazy assed robots.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

A/N: Huge credit to @angrybirdcr​ for these stunning edits which perfectly capture Steve and Katie’s visions...

Chapter 23 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

The normal schedule at the tower was utterly disrupted the next morning. Maria had come to Katie and Steve’s floor to inform them the team was assembling in the lab and had given them both a quick briefing. The previous night they had been able to reboot most of the servers, and the environmental controls of the tower were finally online again, but there was still no trace of the sceptre or the robots. Thor was busy trying to get help from someone on Asgard, Clint was working with some old contacts to see if he could get anything, whilst Tony and Bruce were trying to track him from the lab where Katie had a suspicion they would probably had been all night

The elevator doors opened with a ding; Steve, Katie and Maria exiting and she continued her report on what she had found out about Ultron so far, following them up the stairs as she did.

“He’s all over the globe. Robotics labs, weapons facilities, jet propulsion labs. Reports of a metal man, or men, coming in and emptying the place,”

“Fatalities?” asked Steve.

“Only when engaged,” replied Hill, beginning to type on her tablet while she continued to talk. “Mostly guys left in a fugue state going on about old memories, worst fears, things moving on their own, and 'something too fast to see’.”

“Maximoffs.” Katie concluded.

“That makes sense he’d go to them. They have someone in common,” Steve said nodding as they reached the top of the stairs.

“Not anymore.” Maria replied handing the tablet over to Steve. On it was a picture of Strucker lying on his bed in his cell; dead. On the wall behind him, the word 'peace’ was painted in blood.

“Bit of a mixed message don’t you think?” Steve asked.

“Is it? I mean if it were my mission, world peace, I’d probably take out Strucker too.” Katie shrugged as Steve looked at her, before glancing back down at the tablet in my hands. “Ultron could be in any system, he could be pulling planes down out of the sky if he wanted.” she sighed, “What if he’s just doing what he’s supposed to?”

"If I thought Ultron was bringing peace I’d hang up my shield.” He shook his head, leaning against the banister.

“Would you?” Maria questioned curiously. Steve looked at her, taking a deep breath and cocking his head slightly to the right.

“Let me know if he leaves any more messages.” he said simply, ending the conversation.

Katie shot Maria a look, mouthed thanks at her and then headed after him.

As they walked towards the lab they both heard Clint talking on the phone to someone, apparently someone with authority.

“I answer to you. Yes Ma’am.”

He looked over, saw the Captain and ended the call. “I gotta go…” He looked at Katie, then Steve, waved the phone and said “Girlfriend.”

“Any of your old contacts come through?” Steve asked, seemingly on the outside accepting his explanation, although they both knew full well he had been talking to his wife. Only Steve wasn’t supposed to know that.

“Still waiting.”

“Wait faster.” Steve said simply, turning and heading off down towards the lab. Clint shot Katie a look before he glanced down his phone and headed off in the opposite direction. Katie caught up with Steve who cast a glance over his shoulder at Barton.

“Girlfriend.” He quipped and she laughed

“I know, as far as cover stories go, explaining away your wife as a girlfriend is pretty lame.” They entered the lab and immediately could her a gabble of voices as Rhodey was talking to Natasha and Tony through one of the screens.

“If you hear something we need to hear it too.” Nat said as Steve strode past towards Thor who was pacing behind where Banner sat at a computer.

“That goes for you too, watch your six.” Rhodey replied.

“Any help from on high?” Steve asked, as Thor walked down the few steps into the lower part of the lab. He shook his head.

“He’s either away from his post or he’s been ordered not to answer” Thor said, striding across the floor as they both turned to walk back towards Katie “Ultron can’t hide forever”

“He’s not exactly hiding.” Katie said, handing Thor the tablet. He glared down at the offending item and the picture it was displaying.

“What’s this?” Tony asked moving to get a closer look only to have the tablet slapped into his chest by the obviously still annoyed God.

“It’s a message,” Steve replied. “Ultron killed Strucker.”

“And he did a Banksy at the crime scene, just for us,” Tony said sarcastically waving the tablet.

“This is good…” Nat glanced at the picture, her brows knitting together.

“No, it’s not good!” Banner shook his head as he rounded her chair

“No, Nat’s right, he’s showing us his hand, this isn’t his pattern” Katie nodded down to the tablet on the desk. “I mean why send a message when you’ve already given a speech?“ 

"Strucker knew something that Ultron wanted us to miss” Steve concluded.

“I bet he-” Natasha mumbled searching something on the computers. “Yeah, everything we had on Strucker’s been wiped.”

“And that’s good?” Banner asked, as everyone looked at him.

“Yes because he didn’t wipe everything” Tony said suddenly.

Moments later they were all in a room where a bunch of paper files were kept, files that had been rescued from SHIELD. They pulled the boxes containing information on Strucker and it seemed from most of them that he had gone rogue long before the events a few months prior.

“Strucker had a lot of friends.” Katie mumbled as besides her Thor was throwing random files across the room after deciding they were of no use.

“Well these people are all horrible.” Bruce commented digging through his own box.

“Wait,” Tony said pointing to the file Thor was flipping through. “I know that guy. From back in the day. He operates off the African coast. Black market arms.”

Steve stopped what he was doing to shoot Tony with a glare

“There are conventions. Alright?” Tony explained “You meet people. I didn’t sell him anything. He was talking about finding something new, a game-changer. It was all very Ahab”

“What’s this?” Thor questioned, pointing towards one of the pictures of the man Tony had found. I peered over at it too.

“Uh, it’s a tattoo, I don’t think he had it,” Tony said

“No, those are tattoos, this is a brand,” Thor corrected, pointing towards a spot on the man’s neck right underneath of his left ear which obviously was a mark that had been burned there as it still looked red and raw in the picture.

“Yeah,” said Bruce as he placed himself in front of the computer, quickly searching what the mark meant. “It’s a word in an African dialect meaning 'thief’. In a much less friendly way.”

“What dialect?” Steve asked.

“Uh, Wak- wakanada – Wakandan,” Bruce said jumbling the pronunciation a few times before getting it right.

Katie swallowed and looked at Tony. “Tony, if this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trace goods…"

“I thought your father said he got the last of it,” Steve said, cottoning on.

“I don’t follow,” Bruce interjected. “What comes out of Wakanda?”

Steve, Katie and Tony all shared a look before Steve looked back at Bruce and stood to the side gesturing to his shield.

“The strongest metal on Earth”

*****

Ulysses Klaue’s warehouse was located in an old ship in a Salvage Yard off the African coast. Unfortunately Ultron, fresh from the murder of Strucker, had gotten there first, along with the Maximoffs

The fight had started, Katie and Tony both tangling in the air with Iron Legion bots and Ultron himself as everyone else took them out on the ground also trying to deal with the Maximoff twins, which was proving easier said than done.

"The girl tried to warp my mind,” Thor grunted, over the comms,“Take special care I doubt a human can keep her at bay, fortunately I am mighty.”

“Where is she?” Katie asked, looking round, her heat scanners showing her nothing.

“Thor?” Steve bellowed into his earpiece “Thor, do you read me?”

Thor didn’t answer.

Taking down another bot, Katie flew off down the hallway, in search of the god, but was knocked sideways by something into a pile of scrap metal. She stood up and prepared to take off again but, the world became dark, dim and gloomy. She paused, suddenly wary, trying to remember why she had come here in the first place.

She was in a church, at the end of the aisle. Steve was stood at the front, Bucky next to him. Both in smart suits. She frowned as she started to walk towards them when music started and everyone stood up. Katie was beyond confused, and she turned in the direction everyone was looking at to see Peggy Carter walking down the Aisle, in a beautiful white gown. She looked just as she did in the 40s photos Katie had seen.

But she didn’t belong like this, in the time. As Peggy glided past her, she turned to see Steve looking at the woman, his face smiling, features soft. And Katie felt he entire world collapse around her as Peggy reached the front of the aisle and Steve took her hands in his.

“Steve…” she managed to croak out. The Soldier looked at her from where he was stood and he smiled kindly at her.

“I hope you understand…”

“You love me.”  Katie choked out and Steve shook his head.

“You could never be enough.” He said, shrugging “I’m sorry. It’s her, it’s always been her. You were merely a welcome distraction”

“No, no…that’s not fair, you said I was, you said I was yours…” she cried, dropping to her knees as the world shook around her.

Steve had seen Katie get knocked sideways out of the air, and was heading down to help when suddenly, he felt cold. Everything in front of his eyes seemed so far away, and a wave of calm spread over him. There was no rush, was there?

He was in a ballroom in the 1940s, loud jazz music hit his ears and the sounds of people laughing and joking. He tentatively stepped forward through the crowd but flinched when an explosion flashed near him. No, not an explosion, a camera. Then there was a gunshot. No, not a gunshot, a bottle being uncorked. Confused he looked around and saw a man lying on the ground, his friend dabbing at blood on his shirt, but it wasn’t blood. Steve looked again and he saw it was red wine.

All around him, people were celebrating, but all he saw was war and death.

Then, a very familiar laugh made him turn and he saw his girl in a gorgeous pink dress and she was being spun round the dance floor by Bucky. His face was creased into a wide smile, both his arms intact as he whirled Katie around the floor. She looked the same as she always had, but…she didn’t belong in this time of his life.

“Are you ready for our dance?” another familiar voice spoke as a hand tapped his shoulder. He spun round to find Peggy stood there, in a blue dress, her outfit and hair and make-up belonged here, in the 40s, in his past, but Katie didn’t. His eyes turned back to Bucky and Katie who were now swaying slowly, foreheads pressed together and he could do nothing but stare as Bucky dropped a kiss to his girl’s lips.

Then he was dancing with Peggy, but he had to stop, this wasn’t right.

She was his girl, not Bucky’s. He was with her, not Peggy. He needed to get to Katie…

“What’s wrong?” Peggy asked him. “The war’s over Steve,“ she told him smiling, "all of them.” She added. “We can go home. Imagine it.”

The party in the ballroom stopped. Everyone disappeared and the room went deathly silent.

He gave a loud gasp, it felt like he had plunged into an icy lake. He blinked, resisting the urge to vomit, taking deep breaths and slowly everything came back into focus and then he remembered where he was and why. The fight, Ultron, the warning from Thor….and Katie, where was she? He staggered to his feet, and stumbling slightly set off to find her.

She wasn’t far away, she was knelt on a walkway just below him suffering the effects of her own vision. Steve swung down a level, gently landing in front of her and knelt down on all fours.

“Katie…”

She could hear a familiar voice talking, through the fog and suddenly it cleared as if someone had poured a bucket of iced water over her head. She blinked, before she let out a groan of pain and dropped forward, grasping at the rough metal of the walkway beneath her palms- somehow and for a reason she didn’t know, she was knelt on the floor on all fours, and no longer in her suit. Every inch of her body was aching and her head felt like it was full of cotton wool and horrible lights were flashing behind her eyeballs, like she had had the worst migraine ever.

“Hey, you’re alright…” Steve said as she sat back on her heels, his hands either side of her face as she drew her eyes up to look at us.

“You’re …” she reached out to touch his chest, feeling the roughness of his uniform under my skin. “You’re still with me?”

“Yeah, baby course I am.” He said, frowning slightly, wondering what the hell the Maximoff kid had forced her to see. Deciding there was plenty of time to discuss that later he waited with her quietly whilst her breathing began to even out. She let out another groan, scrunching her eyes shut as the pain behind her eyes became too much and she lurched sharply to the left, throwing up all over the metal walk way.

Steve gently rubbed her back as she retched again, groaning in pain.

“It’s ok…” he soothed gently “I got you…” Eventually she stopped and the throbbing in her temple subsided somewhat and she wiped my mouth, sitting back down on the floor harshly. “What happened?” she whispered.

“The Maximoff girl.” Steve said gently by means of an explanation, his hand reached round to gently stroke her hair.

“It was… it was so real.” She mumbled, glancing around.

“I know, tell me about It.” Steve swallowed, kissing her clammy forehead. Katie was surprised to find he was shaking slightly as well, drops of cold sweat were beaded across his brow “We need to get back to the ship. Can you stand?”

“Yeah” she said, and together they stood. Katie was a little bit shaky at first but Steve held her up and took a deep breath, shooting a furtive glance around.

“Clint?” Steve spoke in to the coms as Katie got back into her suit.

“Cap, you back with us?”

“Yeah, how is everyone?” He asked as they made their way slowly up the stairs. Katie didn’t trust herself to fly. Instead she kept the face plate open, needing the fresh air.

“Nat’s in a bad way, she’s still not out of it.”  Clint replied. “What about Nova?”

“I’m alright.” She said, shakily as they left the warehouse, blinking in the light of the sun, the light making her heave again and she bent over, emptying what little was left in her stomach on the floor. “Sorry…” she mumbled as she straightened up and turned to Steve who shook his head.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Doll.” He assured, looking at her, hands reaching out to gently stroke her face. He looked around and spoke, mopping at his brow. “Thor?”

“I’m here.” the God’s voice came, he also sounded shaky. “That witch, she warped my mind after all. Her power… I’ve never seen or felt anything like it.”

“Tony?” Steve asked as we set off walking, slowly, across the sandy stretch to where the jet was parked.

“She got to Banner.” Tony said over the coms. “And whatever she showed him… well, Hulk just levelled a local town…”

“Casualties?” Steve sighed, looking at Katie.

“I dare say a fair few.” Tony replied. “Veronica and I did our best.”

As they reached the jet Thor landed next to them bringing Clint who in turn was carrying Nat. It was clear to see that everybody, bar Clint was severely shaken. It was a blessing that at least one of them had presence of mind. Clint got the jet off the ground, tracked Tony’s whereabouts and helped get a semi-conscious Bruce settled while Tony took off the suit. It all seemed very distant to Katie and Steve, who both felt like they were watching the interior of the jet through a fog.

“It was always her,” Steve’s voice echoed in Katie’s ears, and it hurt, a deathly pain deep in her being. She tried to swallow, tried to breathe, but the sickening panic she had felt during her vision threatened to wash over her again. Besides her Steve wasn’t faring much better. Bucky dropped a kiss to his girl’s lips. He moved slightly in his seat. It was an involuntary move, almost like he had been startled by something, which he had been, and Katie spotted it. She unclipped her belt, stood up and gently sat on his lap, pressing her head into the crook of his neck, shivering. He pulled her closer, kissed the top of her head and the pair of them just stayed there, not a word uttered between them.

Katie fell asleep, and when she woke up it was dark through the front of the window, showing they’d crossed time-zones. She was still on Steve’s lap, his head was lolling against the head-rest of the chair, his arms still around her whilst he also slept. Gently she untangled herself from him, and stood up, stretching. Clint was still piloting the jet to wherever it was they were headed and Tony was looking at something on a tablet a few seats away.

“Hey kiddo.” He placed his arm round her as he settled into the seat next to him. “Feel better?”

She shrugged.

“Well you’re doing better than Nat” he said, and Katie looked over. She was sat, staring at the floor. Her eyes darting to the sides every so often.

“She still not come round?” Katie asked, laying her head on her brother’s shoulder.

“She’s with us. But she’s really shaken…hasn’t said a word.”

“Seems I got off relatively lightly” Katie mumbled as she glanced over at Steve who was still asleep.  

“Wanna talk about it?” Tony asked, his chin resting on her head.

“Erm… I saw Steve and Peggy” she muttered, looking down at her engagement ring, twirling it round her finger “it sounds silly but… they were getting married and I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t with me. Then he told me…” She trailed off, swallowing, she felt sick again.

“You know none of its true, right?” Tony said, his eyes locking onto hers “He loves you, not Peggy. The Maximoff brat is messing with your head.

 “I know…” The tears sprang forth into her eyes. “ But it was so real, physical, I could touch things and people. I can’t explain it.”

“You don’t need to…” Tony shook his head, gently reaching out and wiping her tears away with his thumb. “I had one, at Strucker’s base when we got the Sceptre.”

“I knew something else had happened to you” Katie sighed “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I thought it was just a funny turn but now I know it was her. I saw you all dead. I felt it. The whole world too. Because of me. I didn’t do enough.”

Katie slid her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.

“So that’s why you restarted the Ultron thing again” she said gently

“Yeah… really worked out that didn’t it.” He sighed.

“We’ll fix it.” Katie replied softly, shrugging as she sat up.

“How do you know?” Tony looked at her with eyes that were so like her father’s. She could do nothing but shrug back.

“Because we have to.”

*****

It was dawn as they all stepped off the jet and followed Clint as he confidently led them up to the porch of a large farmhouse, literally in the middle of a field. The sleep seemed to have done most people good, although Natasha was still not quite right, so Clint supported her as they walked up the path. Steve had his arm round Katie’s shoulder; hers in turn was round his waist, but not for support, for comfort.

“What is this place?” Thor asked looking around at the farmhouse and its surroundings.  

“A safe house?” Tony responded unsure.

“Let’s hope.” Clint opened the door and stepped inside, with everyone else curiously following close behind. “Honey? I’m home.”

To nearly everyone’s surprise, a woman, who Katie figured was Clint’s wife, walked out from the kitchen and into the living room. She had long brown hair and was holding a bunch of colouring books in one hand, but one thing that was hard to miss was that she was very pregnant.

“I brought company. Sorry I didn’t call ahead.” Clint told the woman as he walked up to her and gave her a kiss.

“This is an agent of some kind.” Tony muttered pointing at the couple.

“Guys, this is Laura.”

“Hi,” she greeted awkwardly, “I know all of your names.”

Tony not knowing how else to react just gave a small wave that was just as awkward.

“Oh, incoming!” Clint warned as the thudding of feet and loud voices of young children hit their ears. A boy and a girl hurried into the living room, both running over to Clint as they yelled “daddy”.

Steve’s face was a picture, despite herself Katie almost laughed at the genuine-fake shock he wore across his features.

“Hi sweetheart! Hey buddy!” exclaimed Clint while kissing the top of their heads. “How are you guys doing?”

“These are smaller agents.” Tony said, adding to his previous statement.

“Did you bring Aunty Nat?” the little girl questioned.

Nat stepped forward, suddenly finding her feet. “Why don’t you hug her and find out?”

“Sorry for barging in on you.” Steve said, always one for keeping his manners.

“Yeah we would have called ahead, but we were too busy having no idea you existed.” Tony remarked with his usual sarcasm. Katie shot him a look.

“Yeah well Fury helped me set this up when I joined.” Clint explained, his arm around his wife. “Kept it off SHIELD’s files and I’d like to keep it that way. I figured it’s a good place to lay low.”

Thor, who had been extremely quiet since arriving, made to step closer to the group but a loud crunching noise stopped him. Katie and Steve looked down and he raised his boot seeing the lego house he had just crushed. He glanced upwards and caught Steve’s eye, then Katie’s as he kicked the broken pieces underneath the table. Then a toaster popped and all 3 of them glanced at it, before Thor turned and hastily left the room. Katie looked at Steve and the pair of them followed Thor out.

“Thor,” Steve said, and he stopped dead.  

“I saw something, in that dream.” he explained. “I need answers, I won’t find them here.”

“Be careful” Katie said to him, he nodded and then with a whirl of his hammer he was gone.

They both turned to go back into the house when Steve stopped dead, the image of that damned vision flashing in front of his eyes.

“We can go home…imagine that”

He was home, with Katie, there was no home without her…

Katie, who had been heading back into the house, noticed Steve had stopped. She turned to look at him, his face was glazed slightly, a look on his face she knew extremely well, the one he got whenever he was thinking about his past.

“It’s always been her.”

Katie tried to ignore the flash back and gently spoke to him, her voice shaky.

“Steve?”

He suddenly focussed and looked at her, smiling softly.

“Walk with me?” he said, inclining his head away from the house.

Katie nodded with a swallow, taking his outstretched hand, the pair of them heading down a worn path through the field outside the house. Neither of them said a word for a while, they just walked taking in the large fields and the various trees and shrubs and they reached a clearing which was clearly where the family spent a lot of time. There was a picnic bench to the right of a large oak tree which sported an archery target, 3 arrows currently protruding from the middle circle. 2 bikes lay propped the trunk under the target and a baseball glove lay discarded on the floor.

Frankly Katie loved the levelheadedness of it. Steve loved the normality of it.

“You know, all I ever wanted was to join the army, hold down a good job, have a wife and a family…” Steve broke the silence as they both walked towards the bench. Katie looked up at him as he glanced around. “I mean a farm was never really what I imagined but…”

“A town house in Brooklyn?” She smiled softly as she took a seat.

Steve shrugged. “It doesn’t matter where, I just want to build a life with you, whatever madness that brings with it.”

Katie turned her face away, blinking away the tears. She knew her vision hadn’t been real, she knew it was all a dream but there was part of her that would never stop wondering, whether given the chance he would go back and live his life over with Peggy. Was he settling here for second best?

“Sweetheart?” Steve asked, his voice cracking slightly.

“I’m sorry just, she really did a number on me and now my head is all over and…” she looked at him as he moved so that he had one leg either side of the seat and he was turned side on to face her.

“What did she make you see?”

She took a deep breath and told him, by the time she got to the part about him saying she wasn’t enough and was a mere distraction, she was really biting back the sobs as Steve reached out and pulled her to him. She pressed her face into his chest, breathing him in, relishing his touch and the fact he was real, and there with her.

“Seems like she got us all pretty bad.” Steve said, his voice thick.

“What did you see?” Katie asked quietly.

“She showed me a dance.” He took a deep breath his arms still around her “But it was back in the 1940s. You, me, Peggy and Bucky were there.”

“Dancing?” she frowned “In the 1940s?”

“Yeah, I know. For once you were the one out of time.” He mused gently, looking at her for a second before he carried on “But you were dancing with Bucky, you were with Bucky, and I was with Peggy and she was telling me the war was over and that I could go home…”

“Maybe my vision wasn’t that far off after all.” Katie sniffed gently.

He pulled back from her slightly, and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“No matter how much I try to ignore it, how much I love you there’s always going to be part of you that’s back there, and a wishing you and Peggy had gotten your dance…”

Steve blew out a breath through his nose, shaking his head. She’d got this all wrong “Baby that’s not what I saw, at all…”

“You know sometimes I notice that look in your eyes, that haunted look like you’re somewhere else…” she continued, looking at her hands “I convince myself I’m seeing things because the thought that you might be wishing you could be elsewhere breaks my heart…”

“Baby, I-“

“If I am second best then, fine, I get it but I need to know….” she looked at him through her tears. “If you knew then, what you know now, and had the chance to… would you do things differently?”

He took a deep breath and moved slightly, reaching into his pocket for something. When he turned round Katie noticed he had the compass with Peggy’s photo inside it in his hands.

“You will never be second best.” He shook his head as he turned the compass over, in his hand. “That dream I had was awful.” He sighed “Not because Peggy was with me but because you weren’t.”

He clicked open his compass and passed it to her. The black and white picture of Peggy was gone, and inside was a photo she instantly recognised as one they’d gotten from a photo booth in Coney Island on her birthday last year. They were both looking cross eyed into the camera, happy and carefree, joking and playing. An hour or so post the photo being taken, he’d asked her to marry him.

“I changed it over the moment we got back that day.” He said gently, “I love that photo, it reminds me of just how much you make me smile and that I can just be me around you. I don’t have to be Cap or anyone else, just Steve.” HE reached out with his still gloved hand to brush her hair behind her ear. “You wanna know what my biggest fear is? Losing you.”

She glanced up at him, her eyes searching his but even as she did she knew he was telling the truth. Steve didn’t lie.

”That part of my life with Peggy is over, and it’s okay. I can live without it, but I cannot live without you.” He sighed, his voice slightly choked and he moved his hands up to wipe the tears off her cheeks that she wasn’t even aware she had shed. “So would I do things differently? Not one fucking second.” He gently pulled her face to meet his in a soft kiss and whispered. “Please believe me, kitten.”

“I do.” She nodded as her lips met his again, melting into his hold. She kissed him back, urgently, needy and he was happy to oblige, his arms wrapping round her, pulling her into him.

“Bet I look a right state.” She pulled away, her head resting against his. He chuckled slightly.

“Well we could both probably do with a shower.” HE nodded, looking up over at the house, “Why don’t you go back in? I’ll grab us some stuff from the jet.”

She nodded and he kissed her forehead once more as the two of them headed in opposite directions.  Steve watched her go heaving out another sigh as he stood up. Frankly it said something about their deep rooted issues that their visions took them both to losing one another to other people and not death. Especially after everything that had happed the last year and what was going on right around them now with Ultron. But it also made perfect sense, neither of them could face being without the other. They’d fallen in deep, real deep, and whilst in some ways it was frightening in others it was so, so right.

There was absolutely no doubt in his heart at all where Katie sat in his life. And that was forefront and centre. He just hope she realised that too.

By the time Steve had made it back she was already asleep on the bed in the spare room Clint had directed him to. Dropping the bag gently to the floor so as not to disturb her he headed into the bathroom and stripped off out of his suit. He lay his forehead against the cool tiles, the warm water was soothing as he washed away the grime of the fight. He dried off, changed into a pair of jeans and an under-armour shirt and headed back into the bedroom. Katie was still out of it, and deciding that a nap seemed like a damned good idea he slipped onto the bed besides her. Sliding one arm underneath her he pulled her back so her back was pressed into his chest, his other arm gently draped over her, his hand tangling with hers.

“I love you so fucking much.” He mumbled into her neck as he closed his eyes “So much.”

***** Chapter 24 Part 1

**Original Posting**

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

the closest i’ve been to a bar was at ballet class

summary: just some smut building up to 🎟🩰(that’s a ticket and ballet slippers in case you aren’t reading this on mobile)

pairings: reader x natasha romanoff, reader x steve rogers, reader x carol danvers, reader x ...someone 👀

word count: a little under 12,000

warnings: everything. as usual, all kinds of sex in here. i can’t remember all of it. some is pretty rough so avoid if that is not your thing.

a/n: so...i may have added a fourth and bc i’m a jerk, i’m not yet tagging who... but i’ve been thirsting for this character so hard lately and idk why! i’m done tho, i swear! no more. none.

a/n2: so, obviously there is no show here and they have yet to find out about each other but i started writing that but this all happened first and it would have been like a billion words. so part 3 will be coming!

a/n3: part 1

Your ballet instructor was Natasha’s number one enemy. It had started almost instantly. As with her experiences in ballet, she felt that your instructor was someone who simply needed to be watched. She said ballet instructors were hardly ever completely honest, they always had ulterior motives.

You highly doubted your instructor—a 38-year-old woman with an amazing husband and three adorable children—was up to no good. But you couldn’t take another lecture!

Natasha liked to remind you that she had been at this for a long time. Sure, she was paranoid, sometimes. But other times, she was very much correct and that was enough for her. She just wished you would put your guard up sometimes.

So she claimed, anyway. And she was convincing, but at the end of the day, she was glad you weren’t jaded and cynical. It meant she got to take care of you. It meant that she got to protect you in all the ways she knew how—threats, murder maybe.

She was waiting for you at your apartment around noon after practice was over. Her eyes sought out any signs of stress. You knew you looked tired—a big show was coming up, that same show you knew was going to conclude this whole sneaking around thing you had going on. You also knew there was a huge bruise on your shin and arm that she would be furious about when she undressed you.

"Hungry?" she inquired. No 'hello', no 'I missed you', but Natasha liked to save that for when you were falling asleep. She really thought you wouldn't remember how sappy she'd gotten in the morning. You let her pretend because the alternative was no sappiness.

"Starving. Are we going somewhere?"

"Let’s stay in, I’ll make something."

You opened your apartment for her and she waltzed right in. She directed you to change as she headed for the kitchen.

You didn’t have the energy to try to hide the bruises. It was better to get it out of the way. Besides, were you going to say no when she wanted to fuck you?

You chose a tiny bra top and a pair of tiny shorts. Maybe your ass would distract her.

She was at the counter, waiting to see what you came out in. A box of pasta in front of her, a few jars and a saucepan off to her side. It wasn’t anything too crazy but you were okay with that, and at least she wouldn’t get to tease you in that restaurant she loved taking you to.

Concept: picture that scene from a movie where the rich, white man has his favorite restaurant that he takes his billions of too-young, way-out-of-his-league dates to and the staff is used to not mentioning any of the terrible things they see to his wife. Now, take that vision and place it on Natasha. Subtract all the dates and the wife and that Natasha was out of your league, and that had you sitting at her usual table of her favorite overpriced, noisy, terribly lit restaurant at least once a week. At least you were starting to make friends with all of the hostesses and most of the servers. But they weren't naive, they knew when Natasha was, in a sense, in a mood, and they knew when to be succinct but still helpful. That was what made part of The Incident possible—

"What is that bruise?" she demanded, startling you out of your thoughts.

You contemplated the innocent act for a moment, but you'd rather be dismissive. It was just quicker. "Nat, I'm fine—"

"Did you get that in class?"

"No."

"Where, then?"

You sighed. "When I was leaving class. I fell walking down the stairs."

"Because you’re so tired!"

"I am not that tired," you protested.

"Y/N—"

You sauntered over to her, sliding in between her and the counter. "I guess I am a little tired but only because I’ve had some trouble falling asleep lately."

She already knew where you were going, but she would never refuse one of your challenges. You weren’t in charge, she was, and you wouldn’t know that if she was too soft with you. She sighed, "why is that?"

"Because you haven’t fucked me in so long."

She rolled her eyes.

"When you tire me out, I sleep like a baby. Without you...I have to tire myself out and that can take forever."

She sighed, knowing she was not going to get you on a different path. "Forever, huh?"

You nodded. "I mean...I can think about you when I do it. Your mouth, your fingers... But it’s not the same."

"And how often, exactly, do you think about me?"

It was the closest she was ever going to get to asking where she stood with you. She knew there were others but she wanted to hear that she was special compared to the rest. She was, so special you couldn’t put it into words. But that didn't mean Steve and Carol weren't special in their way as well. You figured they were going to have a hard time wrapping their mind around that when they found out about this. A competition? Sure, they could understand that.

"Very often," you promised. "I missed you."

You craved them exactly as you had gotten used to having them in your life. The mornings had you longing to be with Natasha, staying in bed late while you thought about how she wasn’t going to be walking you to class or waiting for you after. Nights were reserved for Steve when you realized how empty your bed felt and wanted to have one of your under-the-covers conversations with him—a trend started in the winters when he would unintentionally wake you up because he was trying to slip out of bed, it was your way of keeping him there for just a little longer. Then there were weekends, random mid-days, and every Thursday night that Carol had you set aside just for her so she could take you to Maria's for dinner.

Natasha's hands settled on your hips. "I missed you, too. But that doesn’t mean I don't want to hit your damn teacher."

"Why waste time?"

"I’m nearly retired," she countered. "I have the time."

"No, you really don’t." You slowly removed your shirt and then shimmied out of your shorts before kicking them away. "All of your time needs to be spent on me, not worrying about my teacher."

Natasha always looked at you like she’d never seen anything quite so beautiful regardless of how little time elapsed from the last, but there was something different this time. For the first time since she’d met you, your skin was an unpainted canvas. Steve and Carol had been gone as well and that meant there were no bruises anywhere because there was no one else.

Natasha liked marking you up because Steve did—not that she knew that, but it was a possessive outlet for them both. Steve’s marks were always bigger, bigger fingers, bigger love bites, she’d known instantly that he was a man—random, inconsistent. Hers were smaller, healed quicker, but no doubt sent the message that you were fucking a woman. Something she wanted to be known to whoever else was sharing your bed.

She lifted you onto the counter, leaving your hips hanging over the edge as she dropped to her knees. Immediately, her mouth was set to your inner thigh where she nipped at your skin and kissed after. She never once took her eyes off you as she switched legs..

You wouldn’t beg, even after the eighth time she made that switch. You knew she had her plans and not even you could change them. That didn’t mean you weren’t dripping and squirming, cursing her for being so thorough, however.

She shoved your legs apart wide as she stood, dipping down to run her tongue through you slowly, just once.

You shuddered when she caught your clit. "Natasha—"

"Hush." She eyed your pussy, then the rest of you. "You are delicious, baby. I can’t believe I had to go so long without tasting you." She chose your hip bones to mark up next but finally, slid two fingers inside you. She didn’t move them, she just wanted to fill you up a little.

You clenched around them several intentional times and she didn’t bat an eye. She was trying to drive you crazy; she hadn’t said it but the second you tried to take, if you rolled your hips, if you grabbed her arm and attempted to rush her, she would make you wait longer.

She trailed up to your breasts, small kisses scattered without pattern before she started to bite and suck until your skin was numbly tingling. You knew her game was over when she pressed her lips to yours.

You wasted no time, opening your mouth for her tongue and moaning out of the sheerest need. There was just something about Natasha’s lips that could always get you weak. They were beautiful to look at but they felt even better gliding across your skin, kissing, sucking.

She was the one who pulled away, turning down to look at her fingers still inside you. "You are soaking my hand."

Now you grabbed her forearm, pulling her fingers in deeper. "Fuck me, please."

She acted as if she was thinking about it, arched her eyebrow and curled her fingers once, twice, and then yanked them away from you.

Your eyes widened up at her. What the hell?

"Go sit at the table while I finish making the pasta."

Your mouth dropped a little. "Um...?"

"Hurry up," she ordered.

She was serious, dead serious. You slid off the counter, leaning down to reach for your clothes.

"I didn’t tell you to get dressed," she pointed out. With her hands on your arms, she stood you back up and turned you around. You went to move away but she grabbed your ass and leaned down to kiss your cheek, then gently urged you forward. "Sit down, stop pouting. Be a good girl or else I won’t be fucking you, understood?"

No, hell no, not understood. At all! But you didn’t say any of that as you moved for the table. No, no, no way in hell.

Steve teased, even Carol had her tendencies to make you wait, but Natasha was different. After that first time in the studio, she had never again made you wait for something that you wanted. She gave and gave until you shamelessly flaunted how spoiled you were to anyone who would listen—mostly the ballerinas from class. It was that Natasha didn’t need to be as in control as them, it was that it didn’t need to be some power struggle.

Maybe she was trying something different, but that meant that you could do that, too. Instead of sitting in a chair like a boring mouse, you turned to her and sat on the table instead.

She was pouring the box of pasta in the pot, but she turned up to arch an eyebrow at you.

You lifted one leg, then the other, setting the arches of your feet on the edge of the table. You were obscenely spread for her and she acted as if that wasn’t unnatural.

You brought your hand down to your pussy, two fingers slowly tracing circles around your clit. You watched her watching you the entire time, there was never a break in her resolve. But you were too far now to just quit, besides that was more than likely was her feigned indifference was trying for.

She didn’t stop making the pasta either, but that was how you knew you were winning. She was trying to speed dinner along because she was going to remind you that she was in charge.

It was so cute that they believed that. You worried that she may not let you finish that night, so even if you wanted to give her that little bit of obedience you could manage, you weren't convinced it was in your best interest.

Your hand began to move frantically as you cried out her name because you were just mean like that. Your eyes closed and your head fell back as you took in two of your fingers. Your hips rose to grind against the heel of your palm, around that time you were almost certain you’d heard something clatter in the kitchen.

Your finish was little more than a show, an end you’d drawn yourself to many times in their absence but one that you played up. It felt as good as it could have but you needed them, nothing else could suffice. That didn't mean you weren't acting like it was the best orgasm you'd ever had.

You came down quickly and did so without a word or even another glance at her. You climbed off the table, sat in a chair, and looked at her once more.

She looked down at the counter in front of her and shook her head. Yep, you were in major trouble, but you deemed it well worth it.

After an uneventful meal, she took you to the bedroom where she edged you ruthlessly. She was trying to get you to apologize for misbehaving, but you refused. Well, until she told you that she wasn't going to give you the presents she brought you back from Paris. (Later, you opened a new pair of thigh-high boots and a diamond choker with a dangling charm of cursive letters spelling out angel.)

And finally, when you gave in and apologized, she herself was worked up beyond comprehension and set your cunt over her face so she could eat you out until you were crying and delirious. Thankfully, she didn’t stop even though you begged her to, not until she was satisfied.

That was the first night Natasha stayed over. She kept her arms wrapped around your bare torso to keep you pinned to her as tightly as possible. You felt her running her hands through your hair until you fell asleep, enjoying the sound of her breathing in the quiet room.

In the morning, you woke first. You were able to watch her sleep for a while, surprised by how peaceful she looked. And you were caught off by how good she looked in your bed, her red hair fanned out over your pink pillowcases, the sunlight filtering through the blinds and layering her in gold light. 

Her arms were slack around you, her right falling away as you sat up. You situated yourself on her side, crossing your top leg over her hip. You took her hand in yours, guiding two of her fingers to your already wet pussy.

You teased your clit for several minutes, careful not to wake her just yet. When you were ready, you slid down on two of her long fingers. Still, she was not woken by you.

You rolled your hips desperately, moaning every time your clit swept against her palm. You felt her fingers curl on their own and moaned louder, an attempt to get her conscious.

When her eyes shot open, they focused on you instantly. You continued to fuck yourself on her fingers, setting your head on the pillow next to hers and staring in her eyes.

"Fuck," she whispered. Then she was up and urging you onto your back. She spread your legs wide and slotted herself between them. She started slow, hands groping your breasts as she dragged her pussy against yours. 

She was deliciously slick, you could feel her cunt dripping onto yours. Wet sounds filled the room, along with the small, desperate noises that spilled from your open mouth.

When she knew she was close, she used your thigh as leverage, moving quicker. It was a breath-taking scene when Natasha got lost in pleasure. She shut her eyes, tilted her head back and her red curls lined her back, her breasts bounced hard because that was how she was fucking you. She didn’t stop until you were both screaming each other's name and coming.

She collapsed on top of you, mouth lazily seeking out yours. "That’s the best way I’ve ever been woken up."

You smiled.

"Turn over, let me see your gorgeous ass."

You waited until she stepped off the bed to roll over, eagerly sticking your ass out for her. She had never asked you to do this so you were excited to see where she would take it.

You heard her get back on the bed and then felt her hands gripping your ass hard.

"You have such a beautiful ass."

You smirked, glancing back at her.

She set her body flat against your back and you titled your head just so you could kiss her. She began grinding her cunt against your ass, nipping at your lips as she moaned. One of her hands slithered down between your pussy and the mattress, her fingers circling your sensitive flesh skillfully.

Her soaking pussy brushed over your ass desperately, you could feel her soaking you all the way down the back of your thigh. She got herself off on your skin, never once easing up on your clit even though you’d finished and were terribly oversensitive to her touch. Instead, once again, she stopped only when she wanted to.

And if you thought that would be the end, you didn’t know her very well. She sat up and brought you with her. She took your hips in her hands and situated you over one of her thighs, her front pressed to your back once again. "Come on my thigh, baby, don’t stop until I tell you to."

You leaned over, using your elbows to keep your balance. You rode her thigh hard, making sure to give her quite the show of your ass. When you were reaching your end, you grabbed one of her hands and set it over your ass. She took the cue immediately, grabbing you, digging her fingers in.

When you finished, she shoved you flat onto the mattress. You were only half aware of what she was doing behind you, still floating from your orgasm. You snapped right out of that when you felt her lips against your ass. She kissed you several times before you felt her tongue against your hole.

You startled, hands fisting in the sheets. You were definitely surprised, you guys had never even approached this topic. But just as soon as you had felt her, she was gone. She turned you back over, kissed up your body, stopping only to worship your breasts. When she reached your mouth, she gave you an out-of-place chaste kiss and sat up. "Seriously, we need to get out of bed or I'm never going to stop fucking you."

When Carol opened her apartment door for you, things quickly changed. She gripped your arm and walked you to the couch where she forcefully sat you down. One thing was clear: she was in no mood to hear you speak.

"Stay." She headed to the kitchen where you heard cupboards being opened and slammed shut, the fridge a few times. Mostly, she was just walking around.

Perhaps you should have been scared, but you were just wet. So fucking wet.

She came back with a beer, glanced at you, then began pacing. "You’re..." she trailed off and shook her head before taking a long drink from the bottle in her hand. "I mean, I can’t even..."

It was definitely a mistake to laugh.

Her eyes widened and she turned to you, a clear warning, but one that you would not heed. "Just try to make me understand," she finally settled on. "What possessed you?"

"Well, you were gone for quite a while."

"So, you missed me?"

"Of course."

"So, you decide to be a brat?"

Was that supposed to make you regret acting out? It was a somewhat humiliating thing for her to call you but you didn’t dislike it. "Well, you weren’t paying enough attention to me."

Again, that sharp look that you were sure was supposed to make you backtrack. "I only pay attention to good girls, girls who behave."

You hummed, standing. "I suppose I should go home, then."

"Sit down," she growled.

Instead, you tossed your purse on the couch and slowly removed your jacket. Nat had left you covered in marks but she was secure enough in her place with you that she didn’t need to do so in a way that would inconvenience you. She understood you were a ballerina so she left your neck, shoulders, and chest mostly untouched. Your breasts, stomach, and thighs were another story, but you were still in a tiny ass skirt that allowed Carol to finger you in the car before you’d arrived at another little gathering Maria was having—who had more parties, her or Tony Stark? She was giving him a run for his money.

Which was where you’d started acting out. Carol had picked you up around noon and you were as sweet as could be. But around 3, you were suddenly hit with the realization that you wanted to be fucking her more than anything else. It started with a text about how you had taken off your underwear. She was having none of it, she told you this was not happening. You let her know that the scrap of lace was in her purse.

You sent a picture 30 minutes later. She warned you to stop. You sent a video showing her just how wet you were for her, then told her all the things you wanted her to do to you. All the things you had missed while she was away.

In total, you sent her 27 texts, 2 videos, and 7 pictures. You’d received 4 responses, but the final one was completely out of place. Show me your ass. You obliged but then nothing. She said nothing, she requested nothing further.

Did you feel as though you'd gone too far? Not exactly. Carol was definitely into the most public shit, making possible for the second part of The Incident. You still blushed thinking about that day.

She rolled her eyes at your display of disobedience, bringing the bottle to her lips once more. "Strip."

You didn’t need to be told twice. First, it was the shirt, and you paid no mind at all to what Natasha had left you with, but you noticed Carol's lingering gaze. Next, you pushed your skirt down and stepped out of her pumps you’d borrowed. You loved wearing heels when you were out with Carol, she was taller than you without and sometimes it brought you to her level or made you just a tad taller.

She made her way closer to you, setting her bottle on the coffee table off to her side. Abruptly, she grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled you closer to her. "If you wanted me to get rough with, princess, all you had to do was ask."

You didn’t have time to respond before she was kissing you, greedy and demanding. But just as you reached up to touch her face, she yanked back and turned you around with her hands on your shoulders. She grabbed your hair once more and forced you down toward the table.

You were on your knees, bent over the edge, your breasts flat against the freezing glass. Your cheek was pressed so hard against the solid surface you almost couldn’t open your mouth to speak. "Carol—"

"Silence."

It was a while before you heard her move, she got down behind you and kept one hand on your head as the next began to feel through your folds.

She slipped one finger inside you, pulled back, then added another. She curled up against that spot that always made you buck your hips wildly, even though now you were digging into the sharp wooden border of the table she’d bent you over.

"You know how to drive, right, princess?"

You paused for a moment, confused.

"Answer me."

"Um, yes?"

"You know that when you reach a traffic light, green means go and red means stop, don’t you?"

"Yeah..."

"So, right now, bent over this table, your soaking cunt filled with my fingers, you are...?"

She was speaking slowly as if you were a child that could barely comprehend this conversation. Never mind that you were definitely getting lost and her fingers were turning your brain to mush. It was another humiliation tactic and you felt yourself blushing. She’d never been quite so...formal. "Green?"

"Are you asking or telling? Green means that you are still my desperate little whore that needs to be fucked hard."

"I’m green," you assured.

"And if at any point you feel like you need me to slow down or you are beginning to get worried or uncomfortable, if you need any verbal communication, you’re yellow. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"And you understand if you need me to stop, if I’m hurting you or you don’t like what’s going on, you can tell me you are red and you know I won’t get mad at you?"

"Yes."

"One more time, what are you?"

"Green."

She pulled her fingers from inside you. "Arms on the table."

You hurriedly obeyed, gripping the edges hard. Carol never really spoke to you like this, it was all spoiling you in attention and affection. This was something else, something you hadn’t anticipated when you started this game.

She brought her hand down on the right side of your ass, your hips stuttered forward and your gasp and the echo of the smack filled the room. Your cheeks burned and your eyes filled with tears. It didn’t hurt, she was experimenting, but you knew it would eventually.

"And what are you now, princess?"

You swallowed, willing your voice to stay even. "Green."

She finally let go of your hair and you tilted your head a little just to get the pressure off your cheekbone. She repeated the slap on the opposite side with just a bit more pressure.

You shuddered and blurted out the same color. Your skin was stinging but you felt yourself growing wetter, your slick running down your thighs now.

She had you in this cycle until she found enough force that it was barely manageable. Tears were running down your cheeks, landing on the table and she had to hold you up on your knees because you no longer could.

She hummed. "These marks are going to be pretty in the morning."

You realized then where this came from. Had you come to her with the same attitude but without all of those marks Nat left you covered in, you probably never would have pushed Carol to this point. They had both officially found their ways to be just the slightest bit possessive.

"You sorry?"

You snorted. "No...are you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You should have fucked me at the party if you really wanted me to stop sending you pictures and videos."

She rolled her eyes. "Stay here. I'm not joking."

You smirked as she stormed off to her bedroom. You knew what she would be coming back with. She returned naked, save for her strap. A smooth red dildo hung between her legs, one of the larger ones she owned.

You went to stand up but she clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

"Crawl over here."

You lifted your eyebrows—crawl? Hadn't she just called you ‘princess’? But you could be a ‘whore’ since she called you that, too. On hands and knees, you made your way to her.

She reached down to grab your hair, pulling you up to stand on your knees. She said nothing else as she used her other hand to press the tip of the dildo against your lips until you opened your mouth. A struggle that ended with the sounds of you choking on the piece of silicone down your throat.

The rest of the night was spent on the couch. She made you ride her strap until you physically couldn't continue, which ended up being a bit after two in the morning. She didn't tease or edge, she allowed you to come as many times as you wanted to, in fact, she ordered it—unstated, but the threat that would come from not playing her game was clear.

She didn't help, however, she stayed still underneath you and didn't say a word. She just watched you, watched as you pathetically attempted to get her to break. You would kiss her, take her fingers and suck on them, place her hands over your breasts. A few times, you even got up, turning your back to her before sinking back down on the dildo, knowing that she would love the sight of your battered ass.

Steve understood your love of ballet.

Sure, Natasha knew what you were talking about and related to you somewhat, but she also had her opinions about ballet and sometimes she was a little closed off about your dancing. And hell, Carol would support you doing anything. Tap, softball, book club, Broadway, murder, she just wanted you to be happy.

With Steve, well, he sort of understood interests that left you a little battered and bruised. His new obsession (TM) was patching you up through those unanticipated injuries and wrapping your feet before you practiced at home to prevent injuries. It was a careful 20-minute process where he was utterly focused on making sure you were completely protected. And either he paid tremendous attention to you—his skills at quickly prepping your feet was enviable—or he had a thing for ballerinas. You were okay not knowing.

When he called you and told you he was coming over, you noticed something in his voice. It was different, not that usual sweet and doting tone, but you'd heard it before. Steve was always confident and assertive, but this was...something else. Something more. When he told you that you needed to get dressed in nothing more than a leotard, you wanted to be a brat and flat out refuse, maybe just tease, but you didn’t. You had enough sense to know that it wouldn’t get you the results you wanted.

You also had reason to be nervous. Carol had left you some nice marks. They didn’t really hurt anymore, but they were there. There was also no false illusion about what they were. Steve would know and you just weren’t sure how he would feel about them. Most of your ass was covered with what you were wearing but there were still the especially dark areas that could be seen through your one-piece, and there were a few bruises that extended the cut of your outfit. Not to mention, there was no way to hide what Natasha left on your upper thighs.

But you just decided to act like it wasn’t an issue. He was the one who said he couldn’t be your boyfriend, right? He couldn’t get upset over others leaving marks behind. At least that was what you kept repeating to yourself as you walked toward your barre in the corner of your apartment living room.

You began going through your usual warm-up routine, only glancing at him when you felt you wouldn’t be caught. He was laid out on the couch, eyes following your legs as if he hadn’t seen you do this a dozen times already. He was already hard, made more noticeable by the one leg draped over the edge of the cushions. His hand was on his thigh, fingers twitching just barely. The control he was trying to maintain was clear on his face, through his sharp blue eyes, his set jaw, and furrowed brow.

It was silent the entire time and your nerves were growing. Eventually, you would have to turn around and he would have the perfect view of your ass. He’d already noticed your thighs, you saw him eyeing you when he was prepping your feet for the pointe shoes. But he didn’t say anything and he wouldn’t, because he wasn’t allowed to. Right?

With a finishing soutenu turn, you were facing the opposite direction. You heard him sit up but then it was completely silent, minus your breathing and your shoes brushing along the floor.

When you were done, you stayed put. You’d gone as far as teaching him a lot of ballet vocabulary because he knew what he wanted to see and after your warm-ups, he would often direct you. It was always somewhat thrilling—apparently, you both shared this depraved ballerina kink. Maybe there had been role play—maybe he was the casting director and you were a desperate ballerina auditioning for a role, willing to do anything to get it, and maybe he pretended he had a million and one critiques for you, and maybe instead of having the talent, you got the role after you sucked him off.

“Face the barre. Run through your pliés.”

You turned to your side, pretending to be focused on keeping your hips squared and your pelvis locked. You could do pliés no problem, but the alternative was meeting his stare in the mirror and you were too nervous to do that. You completed the demi-pliés slowly and the grand pliés much the same. Normally, he would speak during this step, knowing that he wasn’t going to distract you, but nothing.

You waited for more instructions but they never came. You felt his arms wrap around your waist and you startled—you hadn’t heard him get so close.

He just held you for a moment, pinned your back to his chest as he kissed the side of your face. His hands began to squeeze your breasts and you melted into him eagerly. But soon, gentle touching became rough grabbing and all you could do was watch him in the mirror. He looked at you like he was starving and he touched you like it had been ages.

One of his hand dropped down and grabbed your ass. You held on tighter to the barre, shuddering. "What do you call him?"

Because you just didn’t know what was good for you, you laughed. "Are you jealous?"

He gripped you harder, bringing down his other hand to join. "I don’t need to be. What do you call him?"

'I’m not fucking another man," you informed, amusement still clear in your tone. Steve Rogers jealous, you never thought you’d see the day.

"Then what do you call her?"

She had you call her captain, but you couldn’t exactly tell him that. "What do you want me to call you?" you purred. "Sir?"

"No."

You hummed. “Master? You don’t strike me as the type, but you’re weird enough that I wouldn’t be surprised."

"No."

"Then I’m not sure what you want, Steve." You did know, you’d always had the suspicion since he liked to take care of you and loved calling you baby girl.

"I won’t ask you again," he finally said. He didn’t much care what you were doing with other people, but he did have a special liking to your ass. Maybe he was just mad that someone was spanking you before he was.

When it came to Steve, you knew how to get under his skin. You always knew just what to say to shock him and he could pretend all he wanted that he didn’t love when you would say the filthiest things to him, but you knew better. And after he just handed you this, how were you supposed to resist? "I don’t think I’ll have enough time to answer."

He lifted his eyebrows. "Oh, are we on a clock?"

You shrugged, leaning back to set your head on his shoulder. "Well, yeah, if you want to fuck me before mom gets home."

He scoffed, averting his gaze forward.

You knew you’d caught something though, his hands tightened on your hips and his jaw was doing that thing.

"You are sick."

You snorted. "And you’re hard, so."

He turned you abruptly, pinning you between his body and the barre. "Fine, what’s the story?"

You hummed. "You met my mom in a bar, you liked her, you started this all with the purest intentions. But then you stayed over one night, and there I was. You’ve tried fighting it—"

"But you don’t make it easy," he sighed.

You smirked. "I’m sorry, daddy. Really."

Any last reluctance he had was destroyed when you called him daddy. "Well, baby girl, daddy really isn’t okay that you’ve been letting so many other people fuck you."

You shrugged. "Maybe I was practicing."

He scoffed, fully aware of how you were intending to turn this. "Practicing. For what?"

"You. I just wanted to make sure I was good when you fucked me."

He hummed, turning you away once again. "And are you?"

"Good?"

"Mhm."

"The best," you promised.

"Baby, I don’t know how I feel about sharing you. What if I wanted to be your first?"

"I—"

He brought his hand up to your neck and you fell silent. "Daddy is really disappointed."

Rarely did Steve commandeer your scenes. Mostly, he pretended that he was just humoring you, then he fucked you well enough that you weren’t in the position to tease him afterward. It was a great system. But you weren’t complaining that he was suddenly changing things.

"Are you sorry for letting me down?"

You nodded quickly. It was surprising how naturally he could commit to this character.

"How are you going to make it up to me?"

"I’ll do anything," you promised.

He took his other hand, palm sliding over your ass. "Have I ever told you how much I love your ass?"

"No."

"I do... you ever had your ass fucked?"

That was a huge no. The men you had been with up to that point, prior to Steve, did not meet your standards that well. There was lacking trust, skill, most of them couldn’t define 'foreplay' if their lives depended on it. And after, well, Carol was the only one who liked straps so much and she’d never brought it up.

"No."

"No?"

You were about to repeat the answer when his hand came down on your ass. It (illogically) was the last thing you were expecting and you pathetically squeaked before you could stop yourself.

"You know what I want you to call me. Correct?"

"Yes, daddy. No, I’ve never been fucked there."

"You want daddy to fuck you there?"

"Will daddy forgive me?"

"Maybe."

Pouting, right now? Steve Rogers knew no bounds. "Yes, daddy, I want you to fuck me there."

"Spread your legs and hold the barre."

You hurriedly did as he asked, watching his face in the mirror. His eyes were focused on your ass, the way you moved, the way you were teasing him by leaning over just a little.

First, he moved your suit aside and buried two fingers inside you. You were obscenely wet, something he chuckled at.

You would have blushed, had you not already been. He pumped his fingers in and out, ordering you to watch, even though you couldn’t see much with your leotard in the way. When he added another finger, you squirmed a little, trying to get more comfortable.

"Does that hurt?"

"A little, daddy." It always hurt, taking Steve was always an adjustment process. The first few times, uncomfortable, an orgasm without his fingers rubbing quick circles around your clit was impossible. You were getting used to him, it was still a stretch, you’d just grown to like that ounce of pain because you knew how much pleasure was going to follow.

"Well, imagine how they’re going to feel in your ass. Then imagine how my cock will feel. Worried?"

"No, daddy. I like it when you hurt me."

He thrust his fingers a tad indelicately and your hips jerked.

Ass—obviously you’d said that to get a rise out of him, but still, rude. You had completely soaked through your thick suit by the time he pulled his fingers out, and not a single finish to show for it. But you figured he knew what he was doing, he’d probably had experience with this before so you were fine letting him run the show.

He pulled the material over your ass so he could watch you take his fingers.

"Take it off, daddy," you pleaded, voice all weak and breathy. You were pathetic.

"Can’t, baby. If your mom walks in, you can’t be naked."

You whined unintelligibly. Was he serious right now?

"Don’t misbehave," he warned. "I don’t want to have to punish you. Understand?"

"Yes, daddy." You set your forehead to the bar, angling your head so you could still see his face.

"Are you ready?"

You nodded slightly. "Yes, daddy." You startled a bit when you felt his finger, taking a breath when he told you to. The first finger didn’t hurt but you felt impossibly full—he was right, how were you going to take him? There was a sting when he got to his knuckle but he told you to relax so you tried.

His opposite hand reached through the suit where he pressed his fingers flat to your clit and began to massage them over you, back and forth, with a toe-curling pace and pressure. He pumped his finger in and out of your ass until you were crying out about your approaching orgasm. His finger felt different now, better, and you weren’t sure any finish had ever built up so intensely.

Before you could find out, he stopped touching your clit, dipping his first two fingers down to tease your entrance. It was then that he decided to add another finger to the one working on opening your ass for him. He was quick about it, slid one finger out, shoved two in.

You threw your head back, moaning loudly.

"Starting to feel good, baby?"

"Yes, daddy." Maybe just the looming promise of the right kind of pain, but not necessarily good. Not yet.

He continued his pattern of edging you until he had four fingers inside your ass. Your legs were shaking and his other hand was completely soaked. He never stopped talking, telling you about all the times he had thought about fucking you like this, how he touched himself during these fantasies, how he was going to make you feel better than you’d ever felt.

Steve wasn’t the most forthcoming man. He didn’t lie, never, but sometimes he kept things so completely to himself and you never had a clue. When did this obsession with your ass start, and how? And if Carol had never spanked you, would he even be doing this now? What other fantasies was he keeping to himself?

"Do you want to go to your bedroom, doll?"

"Not yet."

"Do you want your mother to catch us?" he joked.

You snorted. "Maybe I do."

He leaned over you, kissing the side of your face. "You know, I’m just saying, if you really did have a mom and I was your stepfather and was trying to fuck you on a clock, we would have definitely been caught by now."

You couldn’t possibly refrain from smiling. "You’re such a dork, Steve."

He smiled a little. "You think you’re ready?"

"Yes."

He arched an eyebrow at you. "Don’t drop the act now, baby girl."

You scoffed. "Yes, daddy. I’m ready." You watched him in the mirror as he moved his pants out of his way, something he eventually had to remove his fingers to do. You immediately missed that full feeling.

He adjusted your leotard out of his way once more, opposite hand leading his cock to you. He pressed in just barely, allowing you time to adjust or to protest if this was a failed experiment. You guys had had a few of those. Beyond handcuffs, he did not like tying you up. You guys actually weren’t overly into public sexual situations, save for the final act of The Incident. And phone sex was something that only occurred in times of true desperation. This would not be making the same list.

He folded his hands over your hip bones, pulling you back further on his cock. Your mouth dropped and your eyes slammed shut. It didn’t feel natural, it was like your body was trying to push back at him but well, Steve was nothing if not stubborn. He just kept pushing and pushing until your ass was flush against him.

It felt like an eternity when he started to pull out and then another eternity when he thrust back in, but you enjoyed every second. You felt high by the time his hips were moving easily, steadily. It was this maddening feeling like you were on the edge of something really good but he wouldn’t touch you anywhere else and it just wasn’t enough to finish. You suspected he knew that.

His hands moved up your hips and your waist until he could grab your shoulders. He stood you up, his hips stilling, your back flat to his chest. Just when you thought you he couldn’t get any deeper inside you. He pressed his hands up until he closed around your breasts. He pinched your nipples through the material, lips brushing against your ear as he spoke.

"Let’s go to the bedroom."

He would have a much better angle to watch, of course. Two months prior, you were days away from a huge audition so you were either at the studio or at home practicing. One night when you arrived home at nearly 10, it just felt like something wasn't right. Like someone had been in your apartment, nothing looked off. You just felt it.

You didn't lock the door behind you, just in case. You kept hold of your phone. You hadn’t spoken to Natasha that day and you worried she wouldn’t answer, she didn’t generally stay awake so late. And well, it wasn’t like Steve was a stranger to your AM calls or texts. But Carol lived closer and would have been there in a second if you’d needed her.

You made yourself move, tomorrow was another busy day. You flipped on your bedroom light, nearly sprinting straight back out when you saw flowers on your bed. But fear was quickly replaced with all sorts of confusion.

It looked like an expensive bouquet and there was a card right next to it. And see, these were not roses or daisies, these were dahlias—dark red, full, extra flowers. And who was more extra than... As the card read—ding, ding, ding. Steve Rogers. 

When you’re not so busy, we’ll try it out. 

Fear soon returned. Oh no, you thought to yourself. What could he have possibly done? It took you only three more seconds to find a full ass mirror over your bed. At the moment, you were stunned, but once more, pulled yourself out of it with your insistence of sleep. You did not have time for this.

However, when you were in bed, your phone charging next to you, you just couldn’t fall asleep. Of course. You had to call Steve. He’d broken into your home, or allowed others to break into your home, without your permission. All to put a fucking mirror over the god damn bed? He was insane, you realized.

"Hey, doll."

He sounded so smug. "You’re sick."

"Hmm, does that mean you don’t like it?"

"That means what I said: you’re sick."

"Take your clothes off."

You snorted. "Who said I’m wearing any?"

As mentioned, this wasn’t your usual routine with him. Steve loved seeing you, feeling you—phone sex just didn’t cut it. But who knew when you would have time for him next?

"There are many toys in your bedside table, pick one now."

You eagerly obliged, spreading your legs and fucking yourself with a vibrator he’d used on you several times. He told you to watch, to not take your eyes off the mirror.

The mirror added to discovering that Steve Rogers liked role-play had been some of the most pleasant surprises of your life. It was fun for both of you, never a question about when or where. When either of you wanted it, the other was always up for it. You’d thought it was just a one-time thing after the ballet incident, but then he found handcuffs in your room, which believe it or not, you hadn’t actually been using for sex. They were sex handcuffs, but they were just part of your costume to the Valentine's Day party Carol had taken you to, thrown by the lovely Maria.

Regardless, he asked you about them and you dismissed them. He then “arrested” you for “being a brat”. That got you bent over the kitchen counter as he fucked you from behind. He had you beg him to let you go but didn’t stop until his cum was dripping out of you onto the floor.

Then he’d noticed you were struggling in one of your classes and offered a prize for doing well on an upcoming exam. Of 50 questions, you’d only missed 4. He laid you out on your bed and told you he was going to eat you out. After the first time, you attempted to pull him up to you, gasping about how you needed him inside you, please Steve. He grabbed your hands and held them down, ordering you to call him professor Rogers. 

Then there was the loose sugar daddy scene. He’d bought you a diamond choker on one of his trips away and it was stunning. You felt spoiled and wanted him to feel the same. You got on your knees and stayed there until you were sure your jaw was going to suffer permanent damage if you kept your mouth open that wide for much longer. It was three days later that he sent you a screenshot of your Instagram post about the diamond choker and told you to get dressed exactly how you were in the photo. So, in a rose pink wig, a tiny pink satin dress, a dangerously high pair of red heels, and the diamond choker. He didn’t use your name when finally got to your apartment, he called you baby and made you ride him, fully dressed, until you couldn’t sit up on your own.

Then there was the time Steve Rogers actually sent you the address to a sex shop and told you to meet him there. You’d had no idea until you pulled up to the building but you knew immediately that you were going to enjoy this. He asked you to help him find toys that his wife would enjoy—you told yourself you could play along, but you definitely needed to smack him upside the head later. When he got you in the car, after a little back and forth, you being somewhat mouthy, he placed one of the vibrators inside you and wouldn’t turn it off. His fingers paid attention to your clit the entire drive home.

Your payback for that was you dressed as one of his former chorus girls. A designer at the university that you’d met because she always made the costumes for the show was all too happy to help. You sent him a picture of the outfit then flipped the skirt up to show him you weren’t wearing underwear. The absolute last thing you expected was for him to show up in one of his suits. He was wild almost animalistic, he made you scream so loud that three different neighbors came to check if you were okay. Which had been a great source of pride to him.

Then you bought a stripper pole. It took 7 entire classes before you had any idea what you were doing. Though he appreciated it, it was a requirement of patience that he did not want to execute. Natasha, though,

Natasha loved watching you dance. Carol had the same problem as Steve but if you let Natasha, she would watch you for hours.

When you woke up, it was because Steve was getting out of bed. You glanced at the clock, 4 in the morning. He was getting up for his run, then he'd head out to the tower for another day at the office.

He fucked you again before he left. He had you on top of him, chest to chest, his arms wrapped tight around your back, one hand on the back of your head to hold you to the bend of his neck. He liked to do this with the mirror. He liked holding you flat against him and then watching your ass as he fucked you fervidly. He had become wild and insatiable since the mirror's arrival.

Natasha liked to lay you down, tie your legs to the bedpost, sometimes your arms, and would spend hours teasing you with her mouth. Sometimes, when she knew you weren’t too tired, she would tell you to finger yourself and she would stay next to you and watch in the mirror for as long as you would allow it.

Carol liked making you ride her and you couldn’t deny that was a beautiful scene to watch play out from above. She also liked to turn you away from her, settle directly behind you, drape your leg back over her hip, and fuck you with one of her straps.

They had their shared interests, that was undeniable. You still blushed every time you thought about The Incident. It occurred four months ago. They’d been on a short trip; not even a mission, they’d promised, they’d told you it was more politics than saving the world. The first one you saw when they got back was Carol.

She had texted you while you were out with friends and asked where you were. You informed her that you would be shopping alone after lunch. She joined you because she had a present that she just couldn’t wait. It was a vibrator that she could control from her phone. She never used it while you were walking, concerned that you may actually fall and hurt yourself but if you stopped to look at something or sat down for even a second, it was on.

Natasha had taken you to the restaurant. She told you to go to the bathroom and take off your bra and panties and she handed you her purse to place them in. She made you sit down next to her, slipped the same vibrator inside you, then made you sit on her lap for the entire night. She let you watch her phone, let you know when she was going to speed up or slow down, and all she did the entire night was sip on her wine and keep a tight hold on you so you couldn't move away from her.

Two days later, Steve made you wear it to class. Not ballet class, actual classes where you would be sitting down. It was so random when you would feel it and it was terrifying as he wasn't there. You never knew when or where, or if you were standing up and reading! You wanted to hit him when you got back to your apartment and he was waiting for you. You didn't, but you were really upset. Mostly because he hadn't let you come the entire day.

You wanted to know why? You’d asked, but their answers were dismissive and it wasn’t like you could elaborate on what you actually meant. You weren’t just asking why, you were asking why all three? It was just one of those answers you weren’t going to get while you were still keeping secrets from them.

When Natasha showed up after Steve left, it was two hours before class. You were still in bed checking social media when she slipped under the covers and made you come with her mouth and fingers. You’d taken a shower since Steve left, fortunately.

She kissed up your body and settled on top of you. You undressed her, kissing her bare skin as soon as you exposed it, her arms, her chest, her stomach, her legs, her ass, her cunt. She wanted you on top, grinding against her as she watched in the mirror.

She walked you to class and you fingered her in the dimly lit hallway before she left. She picked you up afterward and made you eat since you simply did not have the time to before class. She walked you home, set up her phone on the table next to the couch, sat down, sat you on top of her, and made you ride her fingers. Sometimes, Natasha wanted videos.

In between your second and third lecture classes, the biggest gap in your day, Carol texted. She picked you up in her car and drove out to some hiking trails that she felt were empty enough. In the back of her car, she had you pressed down to the seats, ass up as she fucked you with her strap. She held the side of your face down against the leather, not so much that it would stifle your screams.

When you finished, she made you clean the seat with your tongue. You could distinctly tell the difference between her taste and yours. She watched you as she removed the strap, taking the dildo and fucking herself with it.

She laid back and let you on top, directing you to sink down on the dildo as it was still buried in her pussy. You didn’t stop taking it until your pussy was against hers, thankfully it wasn’t one of the longer ones in her collection. Leaning over, you used the side of the car to keep your balance. She rose onto her elbows, nipping and sucking at your nipples as you ground your wet center against hers.

This was a regular day, one you had grown to love, one you were completely obsessed with. You were scared. You felt that the likelihood of them all being okay with this was low. But you were not so scared that you would ever lie to them. Withhold information? Sure. Lie? Out of the question.

You'd finally confided in the ballerinas. They'd always known about Natasha because she was at practice all of the time, but you only told half-truths about Steve and Carol. You didn't actually want them to know that you were sleeping with three Avengers. Maybe it was because everyone was drunk, but they promised you that Natasha adored you and she wouldn't leave you.

Okay, but what about Steve and Carol? You were stressed, really stressed. During the preparation period for shows, when training was intense, the ballerinas often went out on Saturdays and got wasted and talked. This was why you were in a loud night club with dancing and alcohol, and no one who was going to stop any of you from getting in trouble.

You were impaired but you were not a bad friend. At the bar, you counted all of your friends. They would likely be leaving with someone as they had all found someone to dance with, you would make the rounds in a minute. It was a rule, if they wanted to leave with a guy, that guy had to give you his number. You would verify it right then and there by sending him a text, then they could be on their way.

It was one in the morning when the girls started leaving. You had a drink at your side and five new names (proven by ID) and numbers saved in your notes.

"That's sweet."

You turned to your left, eyebrows shooting up. Gorgeous blue eyes, long brown hair, and beautiful fair skin. Wanda Maximoff was either sitting right next to you at a bar or you were completely imagining her. Given your drunken state and your current obsession with her, it was possible.

"Well, they don't exactly agree...I read stories about guys and bars and how to avoid getting chopped up into little pieces."

She smiled a little. "Who makes sure you get home?"

"I live close."

She hummed. "Were you heading out?"

Yes, you should say yes. You should leave because this could not happen. You didn't know how to explain that you were sleeping with three of them! And Wanda was wearing this red dress that was really tight and so low cut, so, how would you explain four?!

"Maybe...after I finish my drink."

She eyed your glass for a moment. "I'm Wanda."

"I know. I'm Y/N."

"I think you're the first person who's recognized me all night."

"You're stunning. I don't know how anyone wouldn't recognize you."

She smiled slightly, turning back down to her glass.

There was something so wrong with you. Instead of leaving, you just wanted to sit there and drunkenly flirt, clearly.

"Can I buy you another drink?"

No, say no! "Sure."

It was two drinks later, technically three drinks later, since you finished your drink and then she bought you two more. Things were starting to get...closer. You guys were closer. You'd started out at a normal distance, at least you assumed, but the next thing you realized, you were centimeters away from her.

She had her hand on your arm and she'd stopped ordering drinks. She was ready to leave or almost ready to leave. You hadn't neglected your duties as the best friend. You had 12 names and numbers in your notes but now you were realizing that you were all alone and if you wanted to do something, you could.

You'd talked about yourself a little, the usual. You were a student, you were a ballerina. However, you left the part out about your apparent gambling addiction! She didn't share much and you didn't think that was odd, the others didn't for a long while. They had to be a lot more guarded than you. You completely understood.

Wanda glanced at her phone when the conversation died down, or when you stopped babbling like the intoxicated fool you were, before looking back at you. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Yeah." You should still be saying no. You should try being honest. You should say: I'm sleeping with three of your team members and I should go home. But god, she really was fucking stunning.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No."

"I do. I have a boyfriend that I love very much...but sometimes, there are things that I want to try. Things that he doesn't want to try."

"Are you...referring to me?" That was a stupid question, you were almost sure. But was she? Was that what you were supposed to be picking up?

She scoffed. "In a sense, yes. I do think you are beautiful and you're nice, and really cute. I want to have sex with you, but it can't be a relationship. My boyfriend is offering me an open arrangement... I'm still with him, very committed, but sometimes...I would like to call you and meet you. Does that sound like something you would be okay with?"

Should you be offended by how many Avengers didn't want to be in a relationship with you at this point? You may end up dwelling on that later, but now, you were thinking about having sex with her. She looked soft and sweet, very unlike Carol, Steve, and Natasha. You weren't saying she was better or worse, it wasn't like you were comparing them to rank them.

You were just acutely aware of the fact that they were so dominant and you were not. Wanda didn't seem to need that so much, she seemed like she would be fine just having sex. Meaningful sex, but not too meaningful. Soft sex, but not boring. In fact, it sounded like she wanted to try something different, and maybe you wanted to also.

So, you said yes. Mostly because it reminded you that Natasha, Steve, and Carol all said they were not able to be in an actual relationship with you. You were getting ahead of yourself, maybe they wouldn't care at all. Maybe it would be a complete non-issue, and you shouldn't miss out on having sex with Wanda if you don't have any proof that they'll react negatively.

She kissed you the first time while you were both still sitting at the bar. After you'd given her your consent, she set her hand to your cheek and pressed her lips to yours. It was all soft lips and tongue, no teeth, no power play. She tasted like alcohol and lip gloss, at least her mouth did. You wanted to know what her pussy tasted like, which you didn't fail to whisper to her when she pulled away.

She immediately took your hand and led you out of the club. It wasn't terribly cold as you waited for the Uber she sent for. She was just a bit taller than you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders as she leaned down again to kiss you. Your hands started at her hips but soon began to roam, her ass, her waist, her back, her shoulders to pull her down closer.

By the time the driver showed, you were both completely flushed and very ready to find a bed. She was taking you to a hotel. You figured that was best, no need to add any more people to the list of individuals who randomly show up at your apartment without calling or texting.

She kept her hand on your thigh the entire drive there but didn't dare move it underneath your dress. Another point of difference between her and her teammates. Any of the others and you would have already finished at least twice.

Getting up to the room was a blur. Thankfully, she did all the talking. You weren't sure how to function under this kind of calm, steady build. It was always fast and immediately, but Wanda was taking her time and making sure everything was how she wanted it.

When you finally got into the room, she didn't bother turning on the light. She curled one arm around you, the other pulling your hair off to the side as she began to kiss your neck. She held you against her as she walked forward. There was a bed that you supposed was big enough, a small bathroom, a sad excuse for a kitchen, a huge window with dirty curtains shining light on the mattress.

None of that really mattered, anyway. She led you closer to the window, stopping only when she wanted to remove your dress. It hit the floor, she peeled the curtain away from the window, and her hands were all over you. "Is this okay? I like the moonlight tonight."

She waited for your confirmation before she ran her hands up and down your sides, a teasing touch before she grabbed your breasts. She was still kissing your neck, gentle and open-mouthed.

You turned your head upward, catching her mouth. She opened her lips for you instantly and you took full advantage of that with a slow but sloppy kiss. Her fingers trailed down from the middle of your chest, straight down your stomach, and all the way to your pussy.

She hummed when she felt you were wet. The brushes against your clit were faint but somehow it was enough, it didn't take long at all for you to unhurriedly fall apart. Your legs were shaking and your mind was even more blurry than before.

You turned to her to slip her out of her dress. You kissed across her collarbone, then over her chest, glancing up as you closed your lips around one of her nipples. Her eyes fluttered shut, her head fell back, and she opened her beautiful mouth to moan.

Your hands on her hips, you directed her to the bed. She sat down first, grabbing your arms to pull you down with her. Your naked skin was flush against hers and all you did for the longest time was kiss. Hands buried in each other's hair, quiet moans and gasps filling the room, all the while just building up to this intense scene.

When you sat up, she remained on her back. She pushed your hair over your shoulders so she could see your chest and your face. She was right about the moonlight, it washed over her so well.

You kissed her chin, off to the side of her jaw, then down her shoulder and arm until you reached her hand. You took it in yours, the same with the other as you lowered onto your knees on the floor, intertwining your fingers. There was no prelude, you simply took her with your mouth.

She cried out your name, arching her back and squeezing your hands. She tasted sweet, smelled musky and a little like vanilla. You kissed down the length of her soaking cunt, sliding your tongue into her entrance.

"Oh, fuck," she gasped. "Do that again."

You obliged, releasing one of her hands so you could rub her clit with your fingers. She took her newly freed hand and grabbed your hair. She pulled you down harder, rolling her hips up slowly, trying to get your tongue in deeper.

Not even a minute later, she was making you aware of her approaching orgasm, "I'm close, suck my clit--please, fuck! Suck my clit."

You ran your tongue through her as you brought your hand down, you closed your lips around her and began to suck hard. You pressed two fingers inside her and pumped them in and out, moaning when you felt her clenching around them.

She was shaky and smiling as you lazily licked her through her finish. She pulled you up as soon as her brain was working enough to tell her arms to pull you up. "And how do I taste?"

"Amazing."

She smirked.

You had to figure her boyfriend wasn't much for going down on her since she was looking at you like you were the reason the sun would rise tomorrow morning.

You laid on top of her but she quickly rolled over, legs slotting so you could grind against one another's thigh. Her slick center against your skin was almost enough to make you finish. Again, her mouth was on yours and nothing was hurried. You canted your hips, catching your clit on her soft leg, and she did the same.

Soon, your hips started to gain speed, you were close and could tell she was, too. The sounds of wet pussy slapping against thigh nearly drowned out the desperate screams and whines you both made.

You completely soaked her thigh with your orgasm. As she continued pursuing hers, she reached down, hand gliding between you and her wet skin. She brought her fingers up to her mouth, humming and sucking on them. "I can't wait to have you sit on my face." Then she closed her eyes, her hips stuttered, and your leg felt much hotter.

She didn't waste any time at all, she rolled back over and hauled you on top of her. Your hips jerked when you pressed against her, still sensitive from the last finish. She didn't seem to mind, she just placed both hands on your hips and moved you relentlessly against her.

"Hands behind your back, lean onto the mattress," she instructed.

You quickly did so, relieved to have some type of balance.

She loved watching your breasts bounce this way, loved watching your eyes roll to the back of your head. And she especially loved when you sat up again to grab her hands, an attempt to pull away from the overstimulation. She didn't allow it, she kept her grip tight and pulled you in faster as she rolled her hips up.

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat (ch. 22/26)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left.  It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Word Count: 5,2K

Warnings for this chapter: fluff, cute kids, dad!bucky. 

A/N:  Thank you @suz-123 for being so amazing. I’m sorry for taking so  long to write this one.  For some reason it  was one of the hardest chapters for me. Ooo, I finally  have chapter count and I’ll most likely end it at the 26th.Links are messing up posts, you can find the masterlist link on my description.

 *I’m going to add all the amazing stuff some people has made for this story on  the  masterlist link.(I should add that my Reader character has no specific physical characteristics, this is just one of the possible representations) this beautiful moodboard  was  made by @buckybarnesbeans​   thank you babe, I loved it. 

By the way, if you somehow feel inspired by my story and want to make a little something out of it, just know you’ll turn me into a very happy writer ;)

~~~

 “She’s all wrinkled.”

“Oh, man!”

“It’s ok,” You chuckle when Harry lets the frustrated whisper out at Luna’s comment, one of the two children in his arms, careful not to wake the peacefully sleeping baby in the crib, “She does look a little wrinkled now, Luna. She came out of my belly just a couple of days ago.” You continue and laugh at the grimace the little girl gives at the information.

“I think she’s cute,” Jon whispers just like his father, gaining a smile from him.

“Thank you, Jon,” You reach and fumble with his hair, “She’ll look cuter in time, I promise, Luna,” You add, amused by the kid’s blatant disappointment at the newborn looks.

Summer ended up not having to stay in intensive care, like most premature babies. The first tests had shown the serum has made her healthier than most babies, but so far that’s it. Doctor Nadine explained that, whether it would make her strong like her dad or bring her any other super characteristic or not, only time would tell.

The first couple of days after you brought Summer home have been extremely busy, with a bustle of people coming and going, everyone wanting to take a little peek at the youngest habitant of the tower, showering her with all kinds of presents from this world and others. You don’t mind it, in fact, you love it, this just means how cared for Summer is by so many of your friends… your family. Besides, it’s certainly fun to watch Steve, the massive and respectful Captain America, bursting into ugly crying every time he gets a chance to hold Summer.

Bucky likes the crowd, too. He’s always eager to show off his daughter, bragging about how healthy and big she was when she was born, how quiet she is, how well she sleeps, how cute her little cry is -which it’s not-, but you let him say whatever. Watching how big his love for your baby is will always be one of the most special things you’ve ever seen…

He’s been staying at the tower, in his old bedroom, and hardly ever leaves yours and Summer’s side. Just now, like an hour or so before Harry arrived with the kids, Bucky only left to go grab some clean clothes from his apartment. You suspect he’s staying a little longer…

“We brought presents,” Luna announces, lifting a little box to the air, after her dad puts her and her twin on the floor.

“Shhh, Luna, the baby is sleeping,” Jon places a finger over his mouth, holding another similar box in his other hand.

“It’s ok.  Summer sleeps like a rock, thank God,” You give Harry a sigh of relief, who chuckles, before you turn back to the little ones, “Ooo, presents, she loves presents, can I see them?” You crouch, reaching out for the boxes, which they both hand you, bouncing on their legs and giggling.

“They chose them themselves,” Harry says, proudly, sitting on the fluffy carpet, following you and the kids.

They both help you unwrap the boxes, and you find two little figures with big bouncy heads. You know what they are. Funko Pops. They’ve made a few of the Avengers before, including one from you.  

“This is Luna Lovegood.”  Luna announces as you stare questioningly at the little figures. She leans over and points to the female one. A blond little girl with big and weird colored glasses.

“This is Jon Snow.” Her brother, points to the male one, all in black and holding up a sword.

You shoot an entertained look at Harry, who only cringes and try to hide into himself.

“Oh, wow, Luna and Jon. It’s you guys?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“Hum-hum,” They both nod, “And we’ll protect Summer when she cries.” Luna adds.

“Oh,” Your heart melts as you smile and your eyes can’t help but water at the sweetness of their intent, “That’s amazing. Thank you so much.” You bring the little Funkos to your chest, “Summer will love them and I’m so glad she has you guys to protect her. I’ll put them on the shelf right next to her crib, alright?”

They seem pleased with the information as they lift up their chin and smile widely. After giving each a kiss on the cheek and add Harry as a receiver of the thankful gesture, you get up to place the little images on the shelves with Summer’s many stuffies her dad bought her. Not to mention the human size one Tony gave her and now occupies a great deal of the room.

“Mr. Bucky!”

You hear them both shouting in unison and look over your shoulder just in time to watch the two little kids running and throwing themselves at Bucky, who promptly catches them by the  door.

“Ugh, hey, hey,” He adjusts them on each arm, grinning, “How are you guys doing?”

“We’re fine, your little baby is sleeping,” Luna informs quickly, swinging her legs and playing with a lock of his hair absentmindedly.

“She’s cute,” Jon adds from the other arm making Bucky’s smile grow even bigger.

“She is, isn’t she, pal?”

“She’s a little too wrinkled now, but Y/N says she’ll get cuter soon, we brought her presents, look, there’s a huge bear over there, bigger than you, Mr. Bucky,” Luna utters quickly and effusively, with her usual and childish honesty.

Bucky laughs a full belly laugh, before placing them back on the floor. He smiles at you before turning to Harry, who’s now standing up, trying to find some place on his clothes to shove his hands into.

“Hey, man,” Bucky clears his throat and his smile drops a bit when he reaches his hand for Harry to shake.

“Hey, ahm, Summer is beautiful, congratulations,” Harry says, accepting his handshake.

The smile tugs at Bucky’s lips again at the mention of Summer, and after thanking him and letting go of Harry’s hand, he walks towards the crib to watch her sleeping.

You sigh, grabbing a couple of stuffies to show the kids… You noticed how tense Bucky got at the sight of Harry …You hate that.

“Oh, well, well, if it ain’t the Super Spy twins I see? I should take cover.”

“Auntie Nat,” Another burst of happy squeals fills up the room and you’re thankful Summer really seems to be a pretty heavy sleeper so far.

The twins rush to go give Nat a hug. You can’t help but beam at the scene. Nat has told you she and Harry had took the kids on a couple of dates -  without actually telling them about the true nature of their relationship and by the “auntie” before “Nat” and the excitement on their little faces as she crouches to receive their hug, the dates were a success. You couldn’t be happier for your friend.

Glancing over Harry,  you spot the stupid and infatuated look you have ever seen someone put on as his gaze is stuck on the three of them. When his eyes flicker and meet yours, he instantly  straightens up, clearing his throat and blushing harder than when he met Steve.

You chuckle quietly, but doesn’t say or let out any sign of the fact you know exactly the cause of the dumb look on his face.  If they want it that way, you respect that. All this while Bucky remains oblivious to the scene, completely enamored of the little figure on the crib, just staring at her, like he’s done a lot the last few days.

“Hey, Nat,” you greet, with a smirk adorning your face as you saunter over  her, raising a suggestive eyebrow before you hand the little stuffies to Luna and Jon.

“Ahhh, so cute,” Luna yelps and she and Jon entertain themselves with the little bears.

“Hey, hot mama,” She greets back, kissing your cheek, “Hey, there,” She says in her huskiest voice and nods at Harry, taking a not so subtle bite on her lip as she shamelessly gives him a once over.

“H-hi, hey,” He stutters, adjusting his glasses. He doesn’t even dare to look at your direction. How haven’t you noticed those two before?     

“Where’s my girl?” Natasha turns back to you - as if she hasn’t just almost murdered Harry – and puts emphasis on girl. After Summer was born and the secrecy was over, Nat was the absolutely cheeriest in finding out Summer was a girl. I knew it, not a traitor. You believe these were the exact first words she said to the baby with happy tears in her eyes, “Is our little sun, asleep?” She asks, already moving over to the crib.  

In line with her question, the cry Bucky insists on calling “sweet” fills up the room.

“There she is,” you laugh and everyone’s attention turn to the little baby already in Bucky’s arms.

You walk over him as he rocks her and simultaneously checks her diaper, “Ooo, a pretty girl needs a change,” he announces, “Hey, Nat,” He smiles, “It’s ok, it’s my turn,” He addresses to you when you reach to take her, and, as he strikes a baby talk with Summer, he already places her on the changer. You notice he ends up touching her with his metal arm – the gentlest of touches- which makes you feel relieved and proud at the same time.    

“Oh, ok. I think it’s time to feed her again, too. I’ll do it after you’re done.” You say.   

As he starts the process of changing Summer, with the most tender moves you’ve ever seen, Nat stands beside him, caressing her face with the back of her finger and quietly singing a Russian lullaby to soothe her exasperated crying. Your heart turns into a puddle at the scene of two of the deadliest assassins in the world at the complete mercy of the little baby.

“Ahm, we should go, kids.” Harry calls from behind you, enticing effusive lament sounds from the little ones, who’ve been playing with the stuffies.

“Oh no, you don’t have to,” You try to argue as you turn back to them. 

Summer has now eased down her crying, allowing Auntie Nat to the rescue, “Why don’t we go grab some ice cream, huh guys?” She claps her hand, bending over.

Two little faces light up at the proposal, “I want three scoops.” Luna shouts, dropping the stuffie to the floor as her little feet bolts towards a grinning Nat. 

“I want four.” Jon quickly follows her sister and, just  like her, grabs Nat’s hand before they both start pulling her towards the door. 

“Five…” You hear the little girl’s voice, as they’re already out of the room.

When Harry turns to you he’s not even trying to hide the shit-eating smile on his lips anymore. He shrugs before you tell your goodbyes.

~~~

Becoming a mother is truly an interesting process, to say the least,  you understand it more and more, as the months go by with Summer by your side. While one moment it feels like you’ve been awakened for too long, the hours of feeding are endless and you miss missions and it’s like you’ll never adjust to your new routine; at others, you’re crying because your baby is growing too fast, you’re afraid to screw her up and you don’t want to do anything but hold her close to you and never let go.

You love your kid with all your heart and more than anything, but you’re still trying to figure out how to be a mother most of the time- earning you a  lot of long ass sessions with Heloise. While every so often you struggle with your new life, Bucky, as it turns out, is a natural. It’s like he was born to be a father. He does everything with you: he gives her baths, he rocks her to sleep, changes diapers, tells stories she, despite being too young to actually understand them, pays focused attention on... Little by little, his fear of touching her with his metal arm has vanished and it’s like he doesn’t even remember he has it. As a matter of fact, it turns out to be a very useful tool to cool down Summer when the heat is too strong.

One night, while you three struggle with infant cramps and he calms her down by waddling her snugly in a blanket, rubbing soft circles on her back, he tells you he’s been remembering of how he used to take care of his younger sisters and that’s why it seems so much easier with Summer now.

Around the second month after her birth he still hasn’t gone back to his apartment and that’s when the following scene takes place, while you’re feeding Summer on the couch in your living room and he’s right there by your side, dreamily caressing her chubby cheeks -  a habit that often distracts the baby and makes her stop sucking and prolonging the time you spend feeding her, but you would never tell him that. A particularly loud sigh from him catches your attention, making you shift your gaze from your daughter, peacefully dozing in your arms, to him.

“Are you ok?” You asked softly as your eyebrows draw together.

His gaze snaps to you for a second before it drops back to Summer, “Yeah, it’s just… I have to come back to my apartment and… it hurts…” He sighs, “Just the idea of staying away from her… it physically pains me.”

“Oh,” it slips from your mouth, before you look back to her. You imagine what it would feel if you had to stay apart from her… No. Not happening, “Why do you have to go?” You ask.

Hopeful eyes bore into yours, “You wouldn’t mind? I mean…”

His hesitation makes you scoff, “Why would I? This is your home.” You say, shrugging and nodding at Summer, making clear what you mean by “home.”

At the very next day, Bucky moves back to the Tower. But, instead of occupying his old room, he accepts your offer to stay  in a spare bedroom in the apartment Tony made for you. Three floors apart would be too far away from Summer, after all…

On the days after his moving, it doesn’t slip from your attention that, after you ask Friday to wake you up again if he had nightmares – like you did what if feels like ages ago- not even once she ends up having to do it, since, while he’s not taking care of Summer, he sleeps peacefully and deeply…

~~~

When Summer is six months old you decide to go back to missions. You start with small and quick ones that don’t require you to leave the city. Staying away from her those few moments is a sweet pain, but one you know it’ll be good for you. And for her, honestly.

Bucky decides to wait a little longer, which you’re glad for. You’re not sure how you feel about a nanny or daycare yet. Bucky’s safe and you’re very fond of safe when it comes to your baby daughter.

One of his favorite things in the world is to dress up Summer. While you usually go for the most practical pieces of clothing you find, he likes to adorn her hair with big bows, ribbons, tiaras, cute hats matching the most adorable dresses, buying her new ones almost on a daily basis. All of it very comfortable and harmless for her, of course.

She’s nine months old when Tony pulls up a small party to celebrate Pepper’s birthday. If it were up to him, he would definitely go big at the celebration, but Pepper said she preferred something small and he respected it. Well, at least as far as Tony Stark’s concept of “small” would go.  He uses the pool area for the party, inviting the Avengers, a few agents from fellow organizations and a small group of friends.  

This is Summer’s first real party and she looks absolutely endearing in Bucky’s arms when you three walk into the place. He’s chosen a red dress with white polka dots for her. There’s a white bowknot on the waist matching a big ribbon of the same color on her head and white little party shoes. She’s swaying her legs back and forth, as one arm rests lazily around her dad’s neck and she shifts her gaze from him to all the people who stop by to tell her what a beautiful baby she is.

Each day she looks more and more like you, but some traces are all her father’s, like her big blue eyes. But what really fills your heart with love and pride is that Summer is growing into a pretty sociable and charming kid. Everyone around her at the party gains a huge smile as a response and, if the praise really pleases her, she lets out a giggle and puts up a funny scrunched up face you’ve taught her to do. The cutest.

“Auntie Nat… Auntie Nat…” Natasha repeats in a baby voice, playing with Summer’s little hand.

“Cool down, Natasha, she’s nine months old.” Sam rolls his eyes beside her, before shaking his head at you.  

“This girl is a prodigy. And, you don’t get to say anything, it’s already enough her first smile was to you.” Nat grimaces at him.

“She loves Uncle Sam, don’t you, pretty girl? Don’t you?” Sam also uses his baby voice, brushing his finger on Summer’s nose, pulling out a giggle from the happy baby and a snarl from Nat.   

Her first smile was indeed aimed to Sam while he made a weird dance for her. Bucky was absolutely devastated. At least he turned out being the second person to make her smile, by imitating exactly what Sam was doing. However, for Steve’s dismay and many of the others, her undeniably favorite uncle is Thor with all the lightning magic he pulls for her, even if he doesn’t show up as much as the others. She loves all her uncles and aunties, though, dearly, which she should for being so spoiled by all of them.

“Come on, stop it. She loves all of you, guys…” You intercede. You can’t resist and pop a loud kiss on your daughter’s soft and chubby cheek. 

“But no more than she loves her daddy, of course.” Bucky pecks her other one and you two end up trapping the baby girl between a series of tiny kisses.      

“Oh, God, that’s too sweet, I’m gonna get sick…” Sam makes a face, but smiles anyway and you pull your tongue out, “Ok. I’m going to take a look around,” He says, after chuckling at the three of you.  

“Me too,” Nat says,  “Are you guys sitting down here?” She asks, pointing at the nearest table.

You’ve just arrived, but haven’t really still settled. When the favorite little person of the team gets in the place, there’s a lot of stops on your way so everyone can say hello and gush praises on her.  

“Uhm, yeah,” You answer, before addressing to Bucky, “What about we sit for a moment, then we can take Summer to play a bit and watch the kids.” You point to the playground where a number of recreation workers entertain the children.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Bucky agrees, already pushing stroller with his free hand towards the table.

After Nat and Sam leave and the three of you set yourselves on the round table, Wanda approaches and somehow manages to steal Summer from Bucky’s arms, sitting down next to you and snatching the kid’s attention with red drawings in the air.

“I’m gonna go say hello to Steve and grab some food, I’m starving. Do you want anything?” Bucky asks you, already getting up.

“Oh, sure, thank you.” You’re starving too, getting ready to go out with a baby, even in the same tower you live, isn’t a walk in the park and you’ve forgotten to eat at all that morning, “Can you bring, uhm,” You twist your mouth and frown, thinking about all the goodies that can be easily found at Tony’s parties every single  time, “Ooo, see if there’s lobster sliders, ugh, of course, those little fried shrimp balls, a bit of potato chips and-”

“Garlic bread.” He winks at you with a knowing smirk on his face.

A smile twists your lips widely, enticing one of his own, “Yeah, garlic bread,” You confirm, softly.  

Someone clearing their throat bursts the little bubble quickly growing around you and him. This… the bubble… has been happening a lot lately. You turn to the sound’s direction to see Wanda staring at both of you, eyebrows high on her forehead, while Summer is also watching quietly you and Bucky from her lap. 

“Oh, do you want anything, Wands?” Bucky asks, brushing the back of his neck.

“I’m good, thanks.”  She answers with a small smile.

“Alright, be right back.” He rushes away after kissing the top of Summer’s head.

You lean to grab a bottle of water from the bucket of ice a waiter has left there when you sat.

“What the hell are you doing?”  

“What do you mean?” You don’t look at Wanda, pouring some water on your glass before  taking a sip.

“You and Bucky.”

“Don’t even go there, Wands. There’s no me and Bucky.” You notice Summer starting to fuss with nothing to do and reach for the bag the grab and give her a pair of maracas, her current favorite toy.   She accepts it and promptly starts to swing them to the air, loving the noise it produces. You smile fondly at her.

“You’re honestly going to tell me you don’t see what’s going on?” Wanda tilts her head.

You shrug, still focusing on Summer, who keeps playing excitedly on her aunt’s lap.

“I think it’s been what?” Wanda insists with a bit of impatience seeping into her tone, “Nine months since I last saw you two separated from one another? You’re keep doing things together and for each other… I felt completely invisible here. Did he actually complete your sentence? For God’s sake, he lives in your apartment, Y.N.”

Your eyes snap up to her.

“You’re living a married life without actually being married.” Her gaze bore into yours and you can see the care in them.

You halt for a second. If you think about it, it’s true. You haven’t talked about your relationship again but you did fall into a routine of a couple. You do everything together, he’s living with you…  You haven’t even thought about seeing someone else and you’re pretty sure he hasn’t either. It feels so different from before… before you left, but at the same time, it feels like nothing has changed, like you’ve never left and you still belong to each other. Except you don’t… Not really. 

 It’s been good this way. So good… but you would die and kill to kiss him again. Not a kiss like the one you two gave at Summer’s birth, but a passionate, devastatingly breathtaking kiss, you dream about frequently…to feel his hot skin against yours… to hold him in your sleep...

But this is you… It doesn’t mean he feels the same way and if you try anything and this isn’t what he wants or maybe what he’s ready for…

“We’re being parents, Wands.” When you finally speak is but a whisper. “We haven’t had time to think of anything other than Summer all this time. You’re right, we’ve been really…huh… attached to each other ever since she was born and it’s so worthy to be like this. I’m so happy. He’s happy. I’m afraid that…” You take in a deep breath, looking down.

“That if you try to change it, you’ll lose it. You’ll lose him.” Wanda speak your mind and you know she is not even using her powers.

You nod quietly.

“Oh, honey…”

You tighten your lips in a sad smile and shrug.

“Hey, there,” Harry’s voice catches the attention from both of you as he walks towards the table. Well, the three of you, actually, since Summer swings her little maracas even harder and puts on a beautiful and almost toothless grin for him.

After you and Wanda answer his greeting, Harry goes straight to Summer and excuses himself to grab her from Wanda’s lap, lifting her into the air, ripping out happy squeaks from the baby and fond looks from the two adults, seizing the previous subject completely. Harry and the kids have been visiting a lot ever since she was born and Summer absolutely adores them, especially the kids.

“Where’s Luna and Jon?” You ask. 

“Oh, they went straight to the playground.”  He answers after blowing a few raspberries on Summer’s  stomach,  making her squirm and giggle.  “I was looking for…ahm,” He seems taken aback for a moment, shifting gazes from you to Wanda, “I haven’t seen anyone else, is, huh, everyone here, yet?”

Wanda smirks at you, before standing up, “Don’t worry, I’ll let Nat know you’re here. I’ll talk to you later, Y/N,” She taps Harry’s shoulder on her way out.

Harry’s jaw drops at her comment and he’s livid when he looks back at you, “I- why- I don’t know why she-”

“Hush, Harry,” you snicker, interrupting him while before he becomes a stuttering mess, “Come, sit here,” you tap Wanda’s vacant spot and he does as you say, a sheepish and confused look on his face, “I know.”  You smile at him.

He gapes at you while he adjusts Summer on his lap and she goes back to play with her pair of maracas, “You know?” His whole face turns into crimson red and his eyes grow impossibly round.

“I do, took me  a while to figure it out I admit it,” you shake your head, mocking a disappointment face at yourself, “I’m not sure how long Wanda knows but, powers or not, it’s almost impossible to hide anything from her,” you add a little bitterly given the bit of conversation you’ve just had with her.

“Oh…  I thought no one knew yet.” He seems lost in his own thoughts. 

“Listen, Harry,” You lean closer to him, “I understand why you two decided to keep it as a secret, but I just wanted you to know…I’ve never seen her so happy as these last few months.”

His whole face lights up and he can’t help the curl on his lips while he adjusts his glasses on his face, “R-really?”

“Really,” You nod, smiling “And I’m so damn happy for the two of you, as well. You both deserve what’s best.”

While his grin grows bigger, Summer eyes raise from her maracas to you and she drops the toy to the floor, reaching her little arms to you. 

“Oh, come here, my little sun,” You promptly take her from Harry’s lap to yours. Someone misses mommy and your heart never ceases to skip a beat every time she does that.

After you kiss your daughter’s forehead and tickle her sides, she lays back comfortably against you and you go back to Harry,  “You better take care of her, mister, or you’ll have to deal with one super person or two.”

 “Oh no, don’t worry, I’ve only felt this way once before, and…”He says quietly, “Goddammit, I love her… I love her.” He repeats as his chest heavies.

“Oh my God, Harry.” You gasp and immediately pulls him into a hug, which he quickly  responds. Two of your best friends in love- because you damn well know Nat’s in love with him too- is one hell of a huge thing and your heart fills up with pride and hope for them.

When you part from Harry, you spot a broad figure standing by the table. Summer lets out happy squeals at the sight of her father. He only takes his eyes away from Harry  to smile at the baby, while managing to carry four plates filled with food on his arms.

“Oh, hey.” Harry beams, the joy of the confession still lingering on his whole demeanour.

“Hey, uhm, Wanda told me to tell you to come back to the playground and you’ll find what you’re looking for.” Bucky narrows his eyes at him.

“Oh, ok”  Harry can’t hide his excitement when his gaze find yours, “Got to go, see you guys around?”

“Sure,” You nod at him, still smiling.

Once he’s gone, Bucky takes his seat beside you, disposing the plates on the table. You put Summer on the stroller, handing her a few more toys, so you two can take a little time to eat.

 A few minutes later you have already devoured the lobster slider and Bucky remains silent, apart from a brooding noise or two as answers to your attempts at making conversation. He hasn’t even touched his food and just plays with it in a very evident gloomy way.  

Considering Harry is a constant presence in your lives, one would think Bucky would have cooled down his initial wariness of him. And he did. He truly did. However, you notice sometimes he gets like this when you’re somehow a little too expressive with your friendly affection for Harry. You’re not sure if this is jealous and of what he could be jealous of, but you hate to see him like that.  

“Hey, Bucky,” you call, absentmindedly.

He just hums to acknowledge it.  

“Take a look over there.”

He gazes at you, before following the direction of your pointing finger: Nat and Harry, right across the pool, with their back to you as they watch Luna and Jon playing with the rest of the kids. Sam standing on Nat’s other side.  

“What?” He frowns at you.

“Just…keep looking.”

He turns back to them and, just a few seconds later, you both watch as Nat’s hand navigates smoothly to grab one of Harry’s butt cheeks.

You laugh quietly when Bucky’s jaw drops.  

“No way,” his eyes widen and he looks back at you.

“Way…Since that car accident, before Summer was born,” You inform, relishing in his astonished expression. A very similar one to the face you’ve might have had when you found out.

He lets out a loud and long laugh and his shoulder loses all the tenseness. Shaking his head in disbelief, he reaches out and grabs a piece of garlic bread from your plate to shove it in his mouth. 

A small smile remains on his lips for the rest of the day while Wanda’s words echo into your mind…

What the hell are you doing?

~ ~ ~

Ch.  23 coming soon. 

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 7

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time, Saelhen and Looseleaf continued their scouring of the evil torture wizard's evil torture tower for clues as to the identity of the murderer terrorizing the towns of Barley and Wheat. They found a bunch of mysterious documents of ominous character, but they've yet to check out the tower's hidden basement- and the ne'er-do-well lurking within...

The basement doesn't immediately contain any horrors, unless you're the type to get the jibblies from a messy room. There's dirty dishes (recently used), empty beer bottles from a Zeishus Brewery, and discarded clothes everywhere. It's very lived-in, and whoever lives-in here doesn't seem like they were expecting visitors.

Saelhen takes a look at the desk nearest the stairs, next to a well-used recliner and a recently-extinguished candle. She gets a nat 20 on her Investigation, and finds that the desk has been rotated to face the wall, concealing a drawer that doesn't look like it's been opened in some time, judging by the cobwebs.

What's inside is mainly more of the sort of thing they found on the sixth floor- technical notes on neurology and pain magic. With the critical success, she's able to piece together that the odd numbers on the abrasive letter found upstairs were some sort of pain measurements the letter-writer was providing to Lumiere.

They also find a less academic, more personal note, expressing frustration with his own research.

"Why would the Burnscreamer's rituals require Abyssal? Even a god like him shouldn't have any connection to the demons- what is he playing at?" "If I could just correct the sigil, I could bypass so much of this nonsense..."

Saelhen then gets a nat 1 on her Religion roll to know what that means, and assumes the Burnscreamer is the frontman for a metal band her dad likes.

As they search the rest of the room, they notice- at the bottom of the central shaft- a circular basin in the stone floor. It's stained red, but it's dry- not as much blood as you'd expect to see given the carnage on the sixth floor, so it seems like it's been recently emptied or cleaned out.

Oyobi, meanwhile, checks the locked door by the stairs, and finds it... cold? I wonder what that means vis-a-vis-

The extremely sneaky +9 Stealth person hiding braced against the walls of the central shaft fucks up right about then, and slips a little, letting out an involuntary "Gh- shit!", alerting the party to his presence.

Saelhen tries to chase after this person by parkouring off those same walls, gets a 9, and faceplants in the blood basin, leaving the issue to the party member who has wings. As the hider flees through one of the doors in the shaft, Looseleaf uses her darkvision and 24 Investigation roll to pick out the right door and give chase.

(Meanwhile, the rest of the party heads up the stairs normally- and Saelhen orders Orluthe to bust down the front door, so they can go outside and catch anyone trying to escape by rappelling down the side of the building. This turns out to be unnecessary, because when Looseleaf detected that the front door was magic and assumed it was a trap, this was incorrect.)

Benedict I. (GM): ("who knows what kind of trap could be on this magic door? better go up and through the window into the room full of traps, instead") (i was laughing so hard) (it's just an automatic door!) Looseleaf: Honestly, the people in town oversold this place. They made it sound like such a deathtrap and really it was just a bunch of spiky bots. And knives. And comfy pillows. Benedict I. (GM): Well, when they were there, there was a living evil torture wizard actively trying to take them prisoner and torture them.

Looseleaf botches her Investigation roll to search the torture lab she emerges in, but... that doesn't stop her from just checking each and every possible hiding place one by one, manually. She alights upon the correct solution swiftly- checking inside the broken remains of the iron maiden.

bBenedict I. (GM): Anyway, Looseleaf, inside the corpse of the iron maiden, you find. A rather heavy man, performing a downright heroic feat of contortionism to suspend himself inside the door without getting impaled on the spikes. Arnie: "Uh." "Can you pretend you never saw me?" Looseleaf: "That depends on what you're doing here, I guess. Who are you and what are you doing here?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: oh that is a nervous man Arnie: "No one. Nothing. I'm, uh, supposed to be like, dead, probably." "So I'm not here." "Yeah?"

Arnie Zeishus is the deadbeat husband of Cassie, the innkeeper from Barley, who fled town a while back. He explains that after fleeing his responsibilities in Barley, he tried to set up shop in Wheat running a brewery, but got in trouble flouting the brewing regulations of the Ecumene of Harmony. So after getting arrested there and breaking out of prison, he decided to sneak into the torture wizard's tower and lay low as a squatter in the guy's basement. He figured he might get caught and tortured, but it couldn't be worse than what the townspeople wanted to do to him.

Except, as luck would have it, the torture wizard was already dead when he arrived! So he's been making a home of the place with Lumiere's old animated housekeepers, using the torture wizard's fearsome reputation as a way to keep anyone from tracking him down and making him do stuff like clean up a distillery explosion or pay child support or what have you.

On the other hand, someone has been sneaking around his tower doing something sinister on the sixth floor that results in blood pouring down into the basin periodically, and he's stressed out of his mind wondering who the hell is doing that and how he's supposed to avoid getting caught and/or killed by them.

(He notes that the "KEEP SHOUTING" sign was his attempt to get intruders to at least give themselves away by making noise, after they were clearly ignoring the "KEEP OUT" sign he put up.)

Looseleaf also takes the time to ask if Arnie here knows anything about someone named Choss.

Arnie: He looks surprised. "You know Choss?" Looseleaf: "Let's say that Choss is a figure of importance in this investigation." "Anything you could tell us about how they arrived in town and what they did in town would be appreciated." Arnie: He shrugs. "Choss was there before I was- she's a real weirdo." "Knows how to party, but- gotta say, her stuff's a little too strong for me." "A crazy high at first, but it gets- whoof, intense." Looseleaf: "She's an apothecary of some kind?" Arnie: He laughs. "You could say that. She's got herself a little drug lab in town, always smells like burning. Don't know how she gets away with it- some of that stuff's gotta be illegal." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "And how old is she, approximately?" Arnie: "Eh? She's- hard to tell with lizardfolk, s'not like you can read the wrinkles..." Looseleaf: Ah, of course. Lizardfolk. Saelhen du Fishercrown: yep Arnie: "Seems youngish, though? Party girl through and through." "Just, uh, if she offers you a blend, don't take it unless you're ready to spend the next hour feelin' like fire ants are chewin' their way out of your skin." He shudders a little. Looseleaf: "Hm. Sounds painful." Arnie: "You have no idea," he laughs.

They also inquire about the locked freezer room- and why Arnie would hide out here, in dangerous torture tower, rather than just running off to a city, which is a little weird that he didn't do. Arnie claims there's just groceries in there, and no stolen wine bottles whatsoever, he certainly isn't a thief and he definitely hasn't been lying low out here because if he goes to a city some old pals from Thunderbrush might find him and want him dead, no sir! He would never ever commit a crime, ["wink wink" in hand-signed Thieves' Cant].

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Of course. I can't imagine we have any thieves here." [Nudge nudge.] Looseleaf: "In the meantime, Mr. Zeishus, you mentioned having done something that.. makes going anywhere where you might meet someone from Thunderbrush a dangerous thing?" Arnie: He fidgets. "Uh, well..." "I, I try to leave all that behind me." "You just... don't want to get involved with the ghost dryad mafia. Just a tip."

He drops a little bit of exposition about something that may be coming up- apparently, Thunderbrush used to have these huge skyscraper-sized trees, but they got chopped down in some sort of war or raid a while back, and now the Stumps are ruled by the necromancer ghost dryads of those trees who used the last vestiges of their power to cheat death. Apparently Arnie was strongarmed into doing crimes for various ghost dryad mafiosos and made too many enemies, so he fled to Barley to shake the heat.

Looseleaf also comes to a realization regarding some hints dropped earlier in the townsfolks' tragic backstories:

Looseleaf: (actually, wait, i just realized: choss is probably chitch's daughter, the timelines there line up perfectly and maybe this whole dragonborn business is a total red herring we invented for ourselves) (what the shit, lumiere, you kidnap a guy's daughter and raise them as your own child? that's fucked.)

Looseleaf occupies this Arnie guy by interrogating him about these things, while Saelhen slips downstairs to try to pick the lock to the freezer room.

Eventually, after a bunch of failed rolls and more small talk from Looseleaf to keep Arnie occupied, Saelhen pops open the lock. Inside, she finds a fairly large and frigid room. There are meathooks hanging from the ceiling, empty. There are shelves lining the edges full of frozen food.

And to her right, there's another door- this one out of place with the rest of the construction, made of a strange stone shot through with rivulets of glowing orange. There's a symbol on a stone circle embedded in the door:

Before she checks that out, though, she checks the darkened back of the room- which contains some tubs filled with ice.

And those tubs have corpses in them, with the four-pointed wounds.

It is not especially likely that Arnie had no idea these were here, in a room he claims to use to store groceries and has the key to.

Looseleaf, meanwhile, attempts to read Arnie's spirit to determine his alignment and general intentions. His Deception beats her Insight, but what she does manage to get is...

Arnie is afraid. He is filled to bursting with terror and desperation more intense than you've ever felt from anyone before. And the fear does not seem directed at you.

Meanwhile, Saelhen tries to get that door open. What's the deal with that thing, huh? There's no handle, so... she has the bright idea of slapping her mysterious god icon bracer (the one that when previously slapped against a magic thing opened a pit to infinite bats) against it, see what happens. And I get very excited, because ohohoho, I didn't expect that, I had to think through the ramifications of doing that, and...

...then I work through those ramifications, and what I realize is that, as far as the players would know, the end result is just that the door slides open, and nothing else of note occurs.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Why am I even here I just wanted to help a nice little girl show up her dipshit inquisitor mom now I'm in a pain room investigating pain machines..." Looseleaf: (looseleaf warned you about getting involved in the case, she warned you dog)

There's also a bunch of weird machines, and more of Lumiere's notes, which Saelhen goes and nabs as many of as she can. Then she beats feet immediately, not wanting to spend any longer than necessary in the hell lab. The problem is, she doesn't want to leave any sign she was in there, so...

Saelhen du Fishercrown: Does tapping the exposed bit of stone with the bracer again close the secret hell door? Benedict I. (GM): Nope. Saelhen du Fishercrown: hmm. poking it with her finger? Benedict I. (GM): Ouch. Nope. Saelhen du Fishercrown: physically pulling the stone upwards while muttering "fuck fuck fuck ow ow ow"? Benedict I. (GM): Oh, hm, yeah, that would work. At first there's no effect, but as you continue to pull and the pain gets worse and worse... Roll me a Constitution save. Saelhen du Fishercrown: 16 CONSTITUTION SAVE (3) Benedict I. (GM): That'll do it! Your pain feeds the door, and, satisfied, the mouth closes. Looseleaf: How extremely concerning!

Cool!

So Saelhen goes back upstairs, the party secretly confers and exchanges information, and... something has to be done about Arnie.

His expression changes, suddenly.

Arnie: "You don't know what you're talking about." "This doesn't have to happen."

Looseleaf continues to try to offer help to this guy, inferring that he's being forced to do someone else's dirty work. She rolls a 20 on Persuasion! So... what happens following them cornering and exposing the culprit is not the rolling of initiative. Still, though...

Arnie: Arnie... backs up a step. "You're morons." "You have no idea." "You're talking like you can help me?" "That's impossible. No one can help me." "I- I'm fucking cursed, dammit!" Looseleaf: is he? i have magic sense, he is clearly not actually magically cursed, right Arnie: "What are you clowns going to do about it? Nothing!" "What are you going to do, kill a dragon?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "You are entangled here. If Looseleaf says so, then I trust her intuition and her investigative prowess. This doesn't necessarily mean you're entangled in such a way that there is no way out for you." Saelhen shrugs. "Theoretically, the device on my arm is responsible for drowning a small city in vampiric monsters from beyond the stars. And yet there was a way out of that, and a genuine silver lining into the bargain." "I want you to understand that I am absolutely sincere when I say: There is always a way out." Arnie: "That's- there's no way! There's only one way out!" "He'll free me from the curse if I do what he says, and that's the only way!" Looseleaf: ...That is not how dragon-curses work at all. Benedict I. (GM): Not as far as you're aware, no. Doesn't seem like anyone's told Arnie.

They continue to try to convince him that there's hope, that he doesn't need to do what the dragon says, that they can help him. And Arnie just keeps pushing back, refusing to acknowledge any of it, weeping and shouting and doing whatever he can to avoid believing that he didn't have to do any of that, that there was any other way- because if there was, he'd be a monster, right?

Meanwhile, Vayen... is standing a ways away and staring at them all, as usual... but this time, he's smiling. No one here has ever seen Vayen smile before. He looks like his birthday came early. And as they're on the verge of a breakthrough...

Arnie: "Fucking- you don't think I know that?" "I know that! I know he's manipulating me!" "But what else do I do?" Vayen: "You could kill yourself," Vayen suggests. Looseleaf: "Vayen what the FUCK?" Arnie: "What the fuck- shut up, asshole!" "I'm not dying! Not here, not nowhere!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...Vayen, you are placing a remarkable number of ticks in the 'leave you at the side of the road' column." Vayen: Vayen shrugs. "It's the most reliable way to neutralize a dragon's curse." "It's the sensible thing to do, if you don't want to cause collateral damage."

It's as though he deliberately picked the one thing to say to ensure that this argument would keep happening, and not reach a friendly resolution. The hell is his problem?

Still, the party keeps trying to talk this guy down.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "And -- Arnie, surely you don't think the dragon would hunt you down? Dragons don't go out of their way to punish us; they just use us to accomplish whatever it is they're planning. He'll make it someone else's problem." "I know the type. Arnie, it wouldn't care enough to hunt you down. What seems like a personal connection, like it caring about you -- if it tries that at all -- it's just an implement. It's a way of getting you to do what it wants. Go to ground effectively, and it won't bother to spare the effort." Arnie: "What are you, talking like some kinda dragonologist? The hell do you know about dragons?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I am not a dragonologist, no," admits Saelhen. Looseleaf: "...Are you a dragonologist?" Arnie: "Of course it could hunt me down! Damn thing's got magic items out the ass and it flies faster than I can run!" "As soon as it saw me going somewhere it didn't tell me to, I'd get turned into a midnight snack!" "And then I go to ground, and the curse kicks in, and I end up dead or worse anyway. Sounds great." "Or, I stay here, gut a few self-righteous fucks who treated me like dirt for a while, and maybe the thing keeps its end of the bargain and lets me go!"

Yeah, that's a confession, and like, not one that makes him look great. Still, given this guy's weirdly high rolls on physical stuff, and his apparent aptitude for murdering people, they're not super sure they want to fight this guy- on top of just, not exactly wanting to fight this guy.

What are they going to do? They have to come up with a plan- and their plan has to take less than three weeks to pull off, since Arnie only has six corpses left in the bathtubs, and the dragon wants two corpses a week to prove he's still doing the job.

(And is it even worth going to all that trouble just to protect this guy from the consequences of his actions?)

Next time: a plan is hatched, and the party gets back on the road.

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Avengers Infinity War-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 2)

Part 1

I wonder how many people Gamora has killed? What made her finally snap to not serve Thanos anymore?

How DID Gamora find it? Like, who told her?

How did Thanos capture nebula?

Poor nebula. She’s literally been through hell and back.

Ohhhh she snuck on board...

Thanos you suck so much. You favor one daughter over another.

Oh. Where was said map to the soul stone?

Gosh I feel so damn bad for nebula. She was raised as his daughter too but he tortured her and tore her apart. Nebula never had the chance to be her equal. She deserves so much.

Taught groot as an elective? What about all speak?

Buckle up rocket. It’s gonna get emotional.

Thor is literally all alone. He needs a time to sit alone and cry and break a whole building.

Rocket and Thor friends? Please

1500 years old? Jane, honey, you escaped.

Gotta give it up to Hemsworth’s acting chops here. Especially talking to nobody in reality. Just a bunch of cgi

Ew ew ew eye socket

Should have washed that yikes

Snuck it out by hiding it up your? Huh? You watch too many movies rocket.

Huge title card. Thank you. I wouldn’t have known where we were despite them saying their location many times.

How is that video game battery not dead?

Perceptive rabbit

I LOVE that they used a dwarf to play a giant character!!! This is brilliant! (And that dwarves are giant for some reason lol.)

Soooo again Thanos killed everyone EXCEPT Eitri despite his “morality” supposedly being balance

Poor hands

Poor nebula

Smart nebula

Maybe should have waited to be fixed fully first

Ah crap. SOMEONE PICK UP THE SPACE PHONE

MANTIS

Love how Stark asks for peters help in steering and not Stephen lmao

Nice parking job

Peter, stop popping pop culture refs

Lmao ITS ABOUT TO BE THE ICONIC SCENE

YES PLEASE

Blanket of Death. Capey has a new nickname.

Where’s Gamora

Who’s Gamora

Why is Gamora

What master do you serve?

Jesus?

I mean, yea I do. So does Pratt lmaoo.

LMAO PARKER’S FACE WHEN QUILL SAID THOR WASNT HANDSOME

Storm breaker time baby

“In theory it could summon the bifrost” who theorized this? How do you only theorize and not know?

Oh my gosh mantis is just bouncing around

Mr. Clean lmao

Kick names, take ass

Hey now, these guys saved the galaxy and universe from Ego so lmao

Oh no I know the scene coming up

Poor quill lmao

“I’m half human. So the 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% of you.” “Your math is, blowing my mind.” What’s funny is that Quill’s math was actually completely accurate lol

Stephen having a stroke or a seizure? You good homie?

Soooo if Strange looked to the future and so possible outcomes, what does that mean for the TVA? According to them, there’s ONE sacred timeline, so all other branches are erased (which again messes up what smart hulk eventually says in end game. See kids, this is why you don’t mess with time travel in stories. There’s no way to go back in time without creating a time loop). Ehhhhh I’ll let it slide. Just ignore it... sigh... I can’t help it if I’ve studied paradoxes

Hmmmm not good odds I’ve gotta say...

Watch like, outside of the millions of realities that strange saw, there were like a million or billion more he missed where they won with no casualties lol

Hey Red Skull. Long time no see. How did he get here anyways and why?

Yea you’re prepared all right...

Gotta say, Lord Elrond has seen better days

I’m not ready to say good bye to this Gamora. Gamora and Loki and Nat go down as my favorite characters, gotta say. I know that Tony does and it’s sad, but his feels more satisfying because his sacrifice directly results in them winning. Loki is murdered. Gamora is murdered. Nat died just for a stepping stone for the avengers. She has no idea whether or not they will actually win in the end.

I’m hopeful they may bring Nat back like in the comics, red room clone style.

We got back vision, Loki (kinda), variant Gamora, a new captain America, why not Nat? Yea we have a prequel, but gosh I love her so much.

“You must lose that which you love.” Couldn’t that apply to like an object or something? Could I not throw my Nintendo switch over the cliff? Or my dog? (I would hate that just as much as a person, don’t get me wrong, I’m just curious about the rules)

Yea boohoo sad for Thanos... loses his favorite daughter. I don’t care about him. He deserves suffering.

Poor Gamora doesn’t think he’s willing to do it.. GIRL RUN!!!

Thanos deserves all the suffering.

He does love you Gamora... but that love... it’s selfish. It’s blind... Thanos seems to be a chaotic vigilante who is narrowminded, tunnel vision on his goal with no regards of the cost. But he is evil. If there is ever an alternate route to an end that doesn’t result in the loss of innocent lives, and you know that but you willingly choose the once that costs innocent lives, that is an evil decision. Maybe Thanos isn’t evil, but he’s not good. Far from it. He’s obsessed with this idyllic Utopia but he rushes to one method of getting there. Yes, people suffer. It sucks... it’s unfair... it’s horrible. But it is never the right of someone else to dictate whether or not said person would be better off dead. Who lives, who dies. If Thanos truly was neutral and not selfish, he would have thrown his own life into the mix of the potential 50/50 snap. Thanos is not good. He’s not misunderstood. He’s a murderer. A genocidal cult leader. I have no tears for him. Only for those who suffered more at his hands.

Rant over, time to try not to cry about Gamora...

Her face of realization

Gamora run please

Thanos, I hate you. (Great character her, but not a good person)

Poor Gamora

Oh my gosh the emotion here is great but I’ve heard this sound used as a meme on TikTok too many times aghhhh

Gamora!

What a way to die

I’m crying again. I miss her already...

Who the hell designed this place and put the stone here???? Who did this?

Cry Thanos. Suffer. My only comfort here is that you are sad. You deserve suffering. You really do...

The TVA is laughing here and I’m not okay..

Poor Peter Quill... he’s also lost a lot like Thor, but has had the “luck” of not knowing his family too close.

Wakanda babyyyy

No, you don’t want Starbucks, you want Dutch bros

Lmao I love rhodey. Poor Bruce.

BUCKY BUCKY BUCKY

HUG

NO CMON HAVE A LONG HUG

MALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT.

Yea Shuri show em up.

Okay quick pause, I love love LOVE how Shuri is smarter. It’s a powerful moment for females BUT it’s not done in a way that’s condescending to males! It’s not saying women power because men bad, she’s just good! (And she has had access to technology they never could have but I digress). More of this please Hollywood. Don’t let being a female be the power. I don’t want strong female characters, I want strong characters who happen to be female. Ones who hold their own, have faults like anyone else, struggle, have weaknesses and strengths, but are strong without putting down others. Just a comment, just because a woman character may not be as strong as a man character, that is not saying she’s weak. If you’re the second strongest human in the world, you are NOT weak. You’re just not as strong as the strongest human ever, but that’s nothing against you. LET WOMEN STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS WITHOUT SEX AFFECTING THEM!

Anyways

I love Shuri

I wish they had more time. She definitely could have done it. But stupid Thanos

Ughhhghhg

I know what many scenes are upcoming... with quill and peter and vision and everyone else

Let👏🏻Bucky👏🏻Have👏🏻Peace👏🏻

Thank you Nat!!! I love that Nat is so protective and selfless.

GET THIS MAN A SHIELD

Bucky needs love please. He’s my stand in, manipulated, greasy, long haired, dark and mysterious, stabby boy. (Also I need Bucky and Loki to meet. But let Loki finish his show (and come out of it alive because if he doesn’t I will sue) and be the antihero hero we need. Please. If he doesn’t get reintroduced into the mcu as a hero I will sue.

Thor, sweetie, are you a masochist?

Back to wakanda

Oh no, bad CGI, floating head Bruce banner. I’ll let it slide... sigh....

Can’t like, you just rain bombs on them forever?

JIBARI TRIBE YEA BOYYYYY

Sorry Proxima Midnight, you look like a frog and your name sounds like a middle schooler’s OC.

How nice. Diplomatic meeting.

“Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.” Reeeeeeally wish you didn’t say that, T’Challa...

Yay big CGI battle commence! It’s like a really expensive animated cartoon at this point

WAKANDA FOREVER!

Poor Bucky. Forgot this dude doesn’t know much about the modern world.

Ahhhh Kamikazi aliens

I just wanna say that I love that Wakanda still has the artistic culture in their clothing and tradition all the while having badass, super advanced technology.

Why can’t they just rain bombs down the whole fight lol. Rhodey has those super nice bombs, like, do that they he whole time? Please? Why do you not have a barrier around the entire king.

No M’Baku, it’s not the end of wakanda. But half of all life, yea

WAKANDA FOREVER YEAAAAAAA

They should honesty all have nano tech suits like black panther lol. Or iron man suits. Fine maybe the most powerful one with the best quality material for the king, but besides that, yknow.

Wow Steve is hot with a beard.

So much happening at once. Thor, Wakanda, Vormir, Knowhere, am I missing anything?

Okay, but what IS the full force of a star? Like in Newton’s or something? Juls? Is it heat?

What’s this metal? How does it fare with vibranium?

Get off your wooden butt, groot.

“He needs the axe” are you Thor, the god of axes?

Soooo, I thought Thor didn’t NEED the hammer, it just helped him concentrate his powers or act as a conduit. Is that retconned already?

Cmon groot, put down your game. Soooo, is Groot worthy? He technically lifted it. Or is it a technicality because it wasn’t fully finished yet?

Cmon bucky, use that fancy arm of yours.

Wow they’re getting destroyed.

They need wanda to help.

BADASS ENTRANCE BABYYYY

How did Thor know to come to wakanda?

Floaty head Bruce

“BRING ME THANOS!”

Ahhhhhahahaha yeaaaaaa

Cry Thanos. Do it. I hate you.

Much more of a purple grape nutsack.

Oh gosh... I know what Peter Quill is going to do. I still don’t hate him.

“With all six stone I would simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist.” Orrrr, now hear me out, I know I sound like a broken record now but... MAYBE DOUBLE THE RESOURCES INSTEAD?? That’s not mercy. That’s not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s better off dead.

Smoosh

Yea quill has experience with the power stone

AIM FOR THE HEAD

Cmon it’s basic zombie tactics

I love peter quill lmao

Go capey!!!

Magic with a kick!

Poor Peter

CAPEY NOOOOOO

Wow he’s OP

Ouch quill just got majorly clotheslined

NEBULA

“Where’s Gamora?” 😭😭😭 SHE CARES AGHHHH

Restrain him! Work it mantis!!!

Why even remove the gauntlet, just slit his throat... kill him....

Quill no... stop being cocky...

Oh no

Quill please don’t

JUST SLIT THANOS’ THROAT

Quill please....

Poor quill. Just lost the person who really really loved him

Okay, I still love star lord. Idc what others think. He reacted realistically. If you hate peter quill for how he reacted, you better also hate Tony Stark for how he reacted to bucky when he learned bucky killed his parents despite knowing for a fact that bucky was brainwashed. Yes it was annoying... yes they were so close, but quill is so human here. I don’t hate him. He gets too much hate for acting like any normal person would have. Distraught, grief filled, he lost his love. Someone who helped him open up and finally move on from his mother’s death and fathers villainy.

Spider man saving mantis gives me life

How did that power stone blast not kill them?

Clearly Thanos has played Majora’s Mask. At least he has good taste.

So close vision.... but I know... I know what happens.

YES BUCKY AND ROCKET GUN CIRCLE.

Lmao give rocket Bucky’s old arm.

“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Comedy gold

Cmon Thor, go after the big one first.

Cmon wanda, save them. We need some scarlet witch magic up here to stop these

Okay that was so cool. AND THEN SHE USED THE BLADES

Oh no but now Shuri is alone

So close yet so far.... Dangit... vision was almost good

Ouch. Bonk to the head

YEA BLACK WIDOW

BADASS TIME

AND OKOYE!!

LETS GOOOOOOO

BADASS WOMEN

Ouch poor vision

Cmon Thor back up vision

Please

Hulk is in his feels

Cmon hulk grow up

Ooooh smart move banner

Aaaaand he’s gone

Giant blade look oit

Corvus, screw off.

YEA STEVE

WHERE IS THOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM

CMON NAT

Oh dang. Nice one wanda. But also, sheesh. Helluva way to go. But no big.

Yea vision. Stabby time.

Now vision and Steve, kiss.

Spider man saving everyone’s lives.

YEA STRANGE

Where was this in New York???

MULTIPLYING

WHY DIDNT YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE????

Oh no

Well then... ouch. Soooo where’s the real stone???

Hey look Tony, you have a fan.

Okay I’m just pissed odd they didn’t just kill Thanos when they had him subdued. Like, worry about the glove AFTER he’s not longer a threat

Oof

Tony is taking a beating

HE WAS STABBED

WHAT

I don’t want your respect Thanos. That’s an insult.

They will remember him. They will remember him Thanos. When he kills you.

DOCTOR STRANGE WHAT?

You really doing this??? I guess he knows what needs to unfold for them to win... dang. I wouldn’t trust him tho.

Peter Quill in berserker mode

Where’d he go?

Name dropping the second movie

Strange knows everything about to go down. Who dies, who lives, what Thanos is about to do... he’s accepting his soon dusted demise because Stark needs to live...

AIM FOR THE HEAD UGHHHHH

Stop teleporting. That’s Loki’s gimmick.

KILL THIS RAISIN LOOKING NUTSACK UGH

Homie way too OP

Poor wanda and Vis...

HER LIP TREMBLE

PHENOMENAL ACTING

SAY I LOVE YOU

I JUST FEEL YOU

AGGHHHH IM CRYING AGAIN

Poor wanda. To have to kill her love... this.. this is a sacrifice Thanos... not your murder....

Wow Steve is holding back Thanos with pure brute

WANDA IS SO STRONG

HOLDING BACK THANOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAKING THE MIND STONE

I LOVE YOU

AGHHHHHHHHH

And I know what happens next...

Poor wanda

Piss off thanos you understand nothing

You lost more than she could know? Bull crap. You are causing everyone to lose...

Cruel reality. Wanda has to see him die twice. RIP Vision

RIP half of all life...

AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD

IF THOR KILLED HIM THEY COULD HAVE USED THE GAUNTLET TO BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE. USED THE TIME STONE TO REVIVE THEM ALL.

How did that not kill Thanos tho. It may not have been a head shot but still.

Lil Gamora

What is this place?

Is this the soul realm?

Thanos, I hope you suffer forever. You deserve all the pain...

Rest In Peace: Vision, Loki, Bucky, T’Challa, Groot, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker (I don’t feel so good), and everyone else...

Thank you Nebula.

Thanos, you do NOT deserve to retire peacefully—wipe that smile off of your face

Oop, Rest In Peace Maria Hill and Nick Fury too... Motherfu— (so close Sammy boy...)

Yea Thanos you didn’t really think that through. Much more than half will died since other people rely on other peoples lives

Good thing he hit that button last minute huh? I wonder how captain marvel would fare in the TVA? are her powers considered magic? I mean, she clearly doesn’t know everything since she only just learned about Thanos (which is funny because she was supposedly traversing the universe to protect people)

Welp... onto movie two!

[masterthespianduchovny]

Tbh, I believe some of the reaction to Steve’s ending is an overreaction and, mostly, nothing to do with Steve or the point they are defending. I want to stress that I am saying some before people mistake that as well. And if you disagree, that’s fine.

1. In MY experience, because I’m not going to pretend ive read most takes on Endgame or read every crevice, people only talk about the timeline being ruined when it came to what Steve did and NOT how other timelines were meddled with. Someone could argue that Steve intentionally meddled, but according to the rules of time travel, intentionality doesn’t matter.

Who knows the unforeseen consequences behind knocking out Tony’s reactor. Who knows what happens with old cap after encountering endgame cap and not only fighting him, but hearing the name “Bucky?” Who knows the consequences of thanos and quo being transported 9 years into the future. Or what about the lady that spots Steve and Tony? And how Tony conversed with his dad.

We’re told or it’s implied that any interference can have devastating consequences, yet only Steve’s last decision is obsessively discussed.

2. Peggy’s agency allegedly being undermined. Sure, people could argue by the sheer virtue of going back in time and talking to her he’s undermined her agency, but we don’t even know how their original discussion went. We do not know what went down and people are robbing Peggy of her agency by essentially stating that Peggy had no choice in the matter.

Are we forgetting how intelligent Peggy is? That Peggy potentially asked Steve how was any of “this” even possible and the implication of his actions. And if it come off as condescending or patronizing, I apologize, but imho, it appears that some people, generally speaking, believe that because they dislike something that’s the same as it being bad. Other than, they just dislike what was given to us.

But, how does this undermine Peggy’s arc or rob her of her agency? How? I think some people want it to mean that her arc was undermined to prove Steve shouldn’t have went back to the past. And do people actually care about Peggy’s unnamed husband whose face we never see? Do they really care about her kids?

3. Bucky. People often cite the end of the line remark, but honestly, I think that’s being seen through a shipper lens. Steve and Bucky will clearly fight for each other to make sure the other is safe when they’re in present danger and will advocate for each other if necessary, but they’ve never been joined at the hip.

These are two people who are close who not only regularly acted independent of each other pre serum, was fine going long stretches without being around each other. I’m not even sure if they wrote each other letters. But, they most defintely love and care for each other.

So, pre serum Steve and Bucky are close, but aren’t around each other all of the time. They are fine going long stretches of time without communicating. And, even when reunited after Steve stormed the base solo, they still largely do their own thing. But, even back then, they’d die for each other.

When we get to winter soldier, Bucky’s death was still fresh for Steve. It’s only been a “few” years for him. He still feel responsible for not being able to save Bucky. But, not only that, Bucky was experimented on, was brainwashed, and a POW of Hydra’s—not only is Steve going to take that personally, he wasn’t going to give up on hydra even if it killed him.

Post destroying the helicarriers, Steve wants to look for Bucky after the film concludes to make sure Bucky is safe and has everything he needs.

In civil war, Steve’s mission goes from checking in on buckys well being to making sure Bucky isn’t murdered for something he was forced to do. When Bucky was originally arrested unharmed, Steve was fine. He’s not obsessing over Bucky. Then, when Bucky is brainwashed again, Steve refuses to leave Bucky to his own devices.

After civil war, Steve drops Bucky off in Wakanda and doesn’t think twice about it. Bucky is safe and has the proper resources to heal. They spend two more years apart; they largely haven’t spent any significant time together since Bucky regained his memory. Steve might have called Bucky via T’Challa.

And, just to be clear, I’m not arguing against stucky, it’s not my ship, but people can ship whatever they like, it’s the fact that we’re consistently shown that Steve and Bucky aren’t dependent on each other. That their lives and decisions do not revolve around one another. The idea that Bucky needs Steve or that Steve is abandoning Bucky is absurd.

4. Steve’s ending being a regression. People argue that Steve’s storyline is about moving on all while overlooking the fact that he consistently struggled with doing it.

In winter soldier, nat tries to get him to go on dates and Steve points out that is hard because the lack of shared experience. He clings to both Peggy and Bucky in different ways. They are both living, breathing pieces of his past that he was “taken” from.

Instead of having Sharon kiss him and this go no where (because it was poorly developed), they should’ve had Steve reflect on what Peggy’s death mean to him personally and moving on with his life. I guess her death and the kiss was supposed to signify that, but we don’t actually explore the character. We don’t allow him to sit with it. These things are done to shortcut the storytelling without actually exploring it in the world. But, Steve doesn’t talk about moving or and none of his actions support this in the overall story. Again, what we do see is for the benefit of the viewer and not Steve.

But, the biggest thing is: why do people conveniently ignore that what happened in infinity wars could lead to a huge regression? People talk about how Steve was “moving on”, but ignore the five year hell of post snap and him admitting that they “the avengers” couldn’t move on. That their failure would leak into other parts of his life as well and make him reconsider things?

5. Found family. It’s quite clear that the avengers, most of them, largely do not hang out together. They aren’t around each other unless they’re saving the world. Steve did not abandon his family or the avengers. They got along, but they all lived their own lives. And, it’s quite self centered to think you can’t ever leave a group because they can’t function without you. There were more avengers apart of the team then when Steve originally joined, some are powerful than he is and others have shown that they are just as capable leaders as he was or can grow into the role like he did.

But, the idea that Steve “abandoned” the avengers when they needed him most is absurd. His job was to prevent and protect NOT rebuild society. In infinity wars, he fathered the avengers. When the snap happened, he stayed and fought whatever threats popped up, but also ran a support group. Steve stuck through the worst of it. Steve didn’t give up on anyone despite being mentally exhausted. He unselfishly supported humanity as much as he could during that time.

Most of these criticisms ignore that Steve was always sacrificing and living for others. He was always a soldier first. And part of the reason he was so dedicated was because he couldn’t move on.

Many of these criticisms are so spiteful and most of them aren’t even because these fans care about Steve. They care about a found family that doesn’t exist. They care about a ship or ships that are now sunk. Some are upset that Steve lived and Tony died. But, many of them aren’t actually about Steve.

Nat doesn’t get shit for being willing to run away to be with Bruce in age of ultron. Tony doesn’t get shit for abandoning the avengers for five years because they “didn’t listen to him.” Others are allowed to make selfish decisions and put themselves first, but when Steve does it “what about found family??? What about the avengers???”

Almost everyone gets to live their lives MINUS Steve. Clint retired. Tony considered retiring before civil war. Like, minus going to the past and staying there, almost every criticism thrown at Steve can be found in another avenger who received little to no criticism in comparison.

Lastly, I’d also argue that Steve’s selfishness IS a sign of growth. People are allowed to be selfish at times. People are allowed to put themselves first.

At the time, it was important for Steve to move on because he couldn’t change the past. He had to live in the here and now.

But, then an opportunity was presented to him.

“I can go back.”

Steve living in the present was coping. He barely lived his life for himself.

People don’t have to like the ending and the time travel stuff doesn’t make sense from any perspective, but most of these angry takes aren’t about Steve at all.

[nat-20s]

I WANT THE GERTRUDE THESIS

time to demonstrate  my superhuman inability to SHUT UP here u go

*cracks knuckles* Okay so part of the enjoyment of Hamlet and what, I think, makes it a classic and intriguing play is the amount of ambiguity in it. Is Hamlet ever actually mad? Is the ghost real? If it is is it actually his dead father or some other vengeful spirit? Is hamlet like 19 or like 30? etc.

I personally love the ambiguity and how much is left up to interpretation, because even beyond staging and prop work and setting, it makes seeing multiple versions of the play immensely satisfying rather than repetitive. You get to watch each version and see what choices each director and actor made, which interpretation they decided to go with, how they wanted the characters to shine, whether they wanted to keep a lot of the ambiguity or eliminate it. For example, because the David Tennant version was the one I most recently watched, it seemed like it very much wanted to enforce the ghost is real by, even in the scene where only Hamlet can see it, having the ghost brush Gertrude’s hair and having her react to it. That little choice creates a huge amount of context.

“Nat,” you may say, “this is supposed to be about Gertrude, could you stop prattling on about why Hamlet good?”

Yes I can hypothetical You.

To me Gertrude is one of the most variable/ambiguous but also FASCINATING characters in the play. There’s SO MUCH you can do with her character, and it’s fascinating how the morality of other characters can be so deeply influenced by how you choose to portray Gertrude that it would almost work better as like, a flow chart, than a mini essay, but whatever.

The first place to start with her to me is with with how Aware of King Hamlet’s murder Gertrude was, ranging from the mastermind behind it to completely oblivious.

If you pick the first option with mastermind or at the very least co-conspirator, then you still have a sliding scale of whether or not you want to make her sympathetic or fully villainous. What’s interesting about that is that the more sympathetic you make her in the “in on it” scenario, the morality of both king hamlet and baby boy hamlet are likely to have to worsen in response. In a sympathetic scenario, Gertrude would be in on the murder of her husband but NOT on the murder of her son. In order for this murder to come across as sympathetic- you HAVE to make King Hamlet a bad man. If you’re going for tragic angle, you can make him abusive to Hamlet, and then you have a Hamlet that still worships and grieves for a man who was cruel to him. If you make him abusive to Gertrude but not to Hamlet, which she’s kept hidden, then it turns makes Hamlet look worse when he treats her incredibly poorly, grieving for a man he thinks is great but she knows better.

ON THE FLIP SIDE if you want to make Gertrude villainous you can a: have her in on the plot to kill Hamlet as well and/or B: make King Hamlet a kind man that she was having an affair of and decided to dispose of. In turn, by choosing either of these options, if Hamlet is aware of these things, you can make him seem more justified in his anger towards her.

Now lets loop back round to an Innocent Gertrude: if she is unaware of Claudius’s villainy, she becomes instantly more sympathetic to the audience, but it takes away much of her agency. King Hamlet can be a good man who she’s grieving or a bad man who she has conflicted feelings over her own relief towards his death. Her decision to marry Claudius may seem more abrupt, but it also becomes less costly to her morality: she is doing what she thinks she must and simultaneously trying to deal with her grief AND trying to help her son who she does genuinely love. You can even have her be so innocent that it results in her death- she drinks the final drink without knowing it’s her doom.

I personally prefer the Innocent Gertrude that becomes increasingly aware of Claudius’s true nature and tries her best to stop the oncoming fate but can’t fully- she’s into this too late, she’s waited for too long, her doom becomes inevitable. and it makes her story parallel Hamlet’s, and it makes her final sip become incredibly heavy. There’s also something more eloquent than i can manage right now to be said about her choosing death with open eyes (in order to try and save her son and or out of despair) as her only true act of agency- similar to how Ophelia’s likely suicide was hers. Kinda fucked up, but very much in line with the world created by Hamlet.

(note: no matter how you choose to play Innocent Gertrude, it does make Hamlet come across as a bigger prick. Just a fun little side note)

OKAY

tldr: Gertrude’s characterization alone has massive ramifications on how a hamlet telling goes, to the point where it almost makes hamlet a directorial choose your own adventure, and she’s a fascinating character to look at for innocence vs agency, especially with female characters both in the broader context of Shakespeare and the time period.

[shy-violet-soul]

The Hunting Incident

Summary: Alpine brings home a gift. It doesn’t go over well, with anyone - including the ‘gift’.  Characters: Alpine the cat, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark Rating: E for everyone Warnings: allusions to injury to animal; bad language words; snort-inducing giggles

A/N: I have watched this video no less than 6 times, and each time, I laugh until my tummy hurts. Then, I wondered - what would Bucky do in this situation? (already cackling as I turn to the keyboard…)

Beta’d by the incomparable @pinknerdpanda​ & the stupendous @thesassywallflower​. Thank you, darlings!

This is a work of fiction based upon characters owned by the MCU. Please do not copy without my written permission.

((A/N 2: you need to watch this video first!))

When 5:00am had glared at him with red, beady eyes from the clock on his night stand, Bucky refused. Nope. Run with Steve was cancelled. The punk could damn well run by himself. Or get Sam. Yeah, please wake up Sam. Memories of Steve coming to wake him up were hazy, and must have involved a dagger because his third favorite was currently embedded in the bedroom door frame. However, he had a sparring appointment at 7:00am with Natasha - she wouldn’t wait, and her coming to wake him up would involve creative forms of punishment. So much NOPE. At 6:45am, Bucky shuffled his way into the common area kitchen, still rubbing his eyes, when a cheerful little mert caught his attention. He blinked sleepily at the scene before him.

Nat. Natasha Romanov. Black Widow. Natalia Romanova. Assassin. Decked out in her black, weaponized glory.

Alpine. The Cat. Pain in His Ass. Ignorer of Expensive Cat Food. Shedder upon Stark Suits. Sitting proudly in his fluffy white innocence.

Blue-eyed gazes stared back at the other, and Bucky didn’t know what the hell was going on.

“What the hell is going on?”

Nat didn’t so much as blink.

“Your cat.”

“Yeah, he’s my cat.” A beat passed. “Wait - what did he do, first? He might be Sam’s cat.”

One eyebrow arched primly at him as Natasha pointed to the floor just passed Alpine and a bit beyond Bucky’s line of sight. He leaned to the right, peering around the feline, and tried to catch his jaw before it hit the floor.

A brown, limp, slightly damp but very dead duck lay on Tony’s clean kitchen floor. 

While the two assassins watched, Alpine sauntered over and lolled out luxuriously beside his kill, the tip of his tail twitching happily.

“Oh, my...oh, my God,” Bucky croaked out, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. “Oh, shit!”

“Mmmhmm.”

“I mean - seriously?!” he hissed at the cat, who simply blinked impassively. “Alpine, you stupid cat!” His heart thudded sickly with dread. “How did he kill it?”

“I don’t know.” Natasha hadn’t moved, just stood there with crossed arms, one eyebrow still raised, gaze clearly unimpressed.

“How did he get it IN here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is it...is it really dead?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, hell, Nat, what do you know?” Bucky demanded as he craned a lean closer to try and see if the bird was breathing.

“I know you better get that thing out of here before Tony shows up.”

“Mert.”

“Shut up, Alpine!” Bucky barked, dragging his hands through his hair. Down the hall, the elevator dinged, echoes of star-spangled voices echoing their way. Bucky felt his throat sticky-squeeze shut as Steve and Sam appeared, sweaty and wheezing. Well, Sam was wheezing. Wimp.

Both soldiers came to a halt as Bucky snapped to attention, trying and failing to look innocent.

“You okay, Buck?” 

“Uuuhhh…”

Ding. Shuffle, shuffle, and Clint appeared. The other four watched him slog to the coffee maker, pull a silly straw out of thin air, and claim the nearly-full pot as his own. After four long drags on his straw, he finally noticed everyone staring at Bucky.

“What’s up, Buck?”

“Meow.” Steve just barely kept himself from flinching. 

“What’s he doing up here?”

“Uuuhhh…” Bucky couldn’t come up with anything else to say.

Sam clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder, grinning at him. “Captain America. Afraid of a cat.”

“I’m not afraid,” Steve was quick to assert. “He just...hates me. With his claws.” 

“Why’s there a dead duck on the floor?” Heads swiveled at Clint’s query, staring at the vanquished fowl in question. Sam and Steve immediately stepped closer, and Bucky’s eyes closed as he waited…

“Did Alpine kill that bird?” Steve whispered, horrified.

Sam cackled, bent over and hands propped on his knees. “Your cat’s an assassin, man!”

“Shut up, birdbrain! Steve, get me a blanket,” Bucky implored as he also turned to look at the poor critter. Steve turned huge eyes to his friend.

“Where?”

“I don’t know, get a towel or something so I can cover it up!”

Steve strangled out another question. Bucky hissed out another answer. Sam kept on cackling. Clint sat on the counter with his feet in a bar stool, still slurping his coffee, and Nat leaned against the counter near him, watching the scene with a near-bored expression.

And then the dead duck woke up.

With a frantic flap of his wings, he floundered his way off the floor. Alpine leaped after him with abandon, claws outstretched gleefully. Steve screamed like a little girl when the duck flailed in his direction, bouncing off of Sam before diving to the floor. Bucky zigzagged after the bird, then after Alpine, then back after the bird before he tripped tail over tea kettle over super soldier legs. Alpine, great hunter extraordinaire, was not about to be denied - he somersaulted into Clint’s lap in a vain attempt to recapture his prey. Clint, unprepared for the attack, tried to dodge out of the way and dodged himself right off the counter in a tidal wave of coffee.

Natasha simply blinked.

The resurrected fowl took shelter on the other side of the couch, and Bucky scrambled after him.

“Somebody hold onto that stupid cat!” Silently, the Winter Soldier skulked onto the couch and peered over the edge.

“Quack.”

“I know, man. Bad day. Sorry my cat tried to kill you.” He looked over his shoulder. Sam was snickering his way to him, Clint was cussing about the coffee, and Steve was hiding behind a loveseat. Punk. End of the line, my ass.

“Sam, help me out here.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Speak bird to him. You’re family.”

Sam’s eyes rolled so hard, Bucky was convinced the man saw the inside of his own skull.

“Still with the bird jokes. Ha ha.”

“Quack quack.” 

“Yeah, yeah, quack quack yourself. Hang onto your tail feathers, dude, we’re trying,” Sam groused. “We need to catch him first.”

Bucky mulled that over before Clint chimed in.

“We’ve still got that electrified net in the armory.”

Murder Glare arrowed onto the archer. “Jesus, Barton, we’re trying to free him, not flambe him!”

“Get a laundry basket,” Nat suggested blandly. The duck waddled nervously away from the voices, quacking as he went before he flapped his way onto the arm of Tony’s recliner closest to the window.

“Oh, God, get it off Tony’s chair!” Bucky begged. Sam snorted, snagging a nearby throw pillow and stepping closer to wave it in the duck’s direction.

“Come on, Donald. Off the furniture, man. Thank you, I knew you were a gentleman,” he praised when the bird hopped off in alarm at the motion. Bucky’s head hurt, his gears were spinning so frantically. His gaze hurried around the room and landed on Clint; the fool was using his straw to try and sip the spilled coffee off the tile.

“Barton! Why aren’t you over here helping? You’re part bird!”

Straw gurgling sadly, Clint tossed it away with a curse. “Hawkeye, Barnes. Hawk. I’m up high, not some puddle dweller.”

Ding. The familiar sound of an Iron Man suit came clomping down the hall. Tony appeared, battle-ready, and raised one hand, repulsor firing up, and Bucky knew he was truly screwed.

“Where’s the unfriendly?!”

“Quackquackquack!” 

The formerly-dead duck, freshly frightened by the sound of the repulsor, rushed desperately at the window, crashing into the glass. Iron Man didn’t hesitate and fired, sending shards exploding in all directions. Wind from outside the tower gusted inward, swirling papers and other sundry items up and away. Formerly-dead duck fled the chaos happily, kamikaze-diving out the now open window.

Sam belly laughed at the poor bird’s relieved quacking, waving a cheerful good-bye after him. “You go, duck! Go find you a pretty lady, hatch you a bunch of babies, and watch out for Alpine the Assassin!”

The face plate on Tony’s suit opened up, his harassed gaze taking in the carnage. Bucky sprawled face down on the floor, liberally sprinkled with bits of glass. Steve peeking out from behind a loveseat. Clint laying in a puddle of coffee clutching an empty pot. And that stupid cat was sitting on the Weiner Soldier’s ass. 

Natasha just looked at him, leaning casually against the counter.

“What the hell was Darkwing Duck doing here? FRIDAY said there was an attack.”

A sad, pathetic little groan croaked from Bucky, blending with a pleased little meow from Satan’s hairball. Natasha smirked as she strolled over to Bucky, scratching behind Alpine’s ears as she cooed to him like a proud mama.

“A hunting incident, Tony. Just a hunting incident.”

[rubyrockz]

Blood and Bread Thoughts as I watched

- The bright purple/pink colors

- “Too much murdering to do, let’s go”- Lou

- Oh no, Emily’s gone!!!

- Theo for once doing good on intiIticd l

- “Stupid little muffins”. They made a huge mistake

- Theobald has war magic!!!

- One shot killed a guy first round in surprise attack, go gummy bear!

- Killed two/three of attackers in a surprise round, and the. He still gets to go before the last muffin.

- theo is a bossssss!

- Oh I love Canadian magic!

- Oh, he’s an eldrixh knight!!!

- Poor dude. Doesn’t know Jets dead yet.

- Oh! The queen! Oh god, supper. Oh we’re being attacked!!!

- Oh god, Theo needs to defend the queen.

- thank god, the queen is not in on it.

- Does the castle has a candy land walkway? Oh I love that so much!!!

- SECRET PASSAGEWAYS!!!

- Calroy revealed to the Queen. Fake death Husband!

- “The man who made bastards of your daughters” I fucking love that line. Hate the man who said, but that line.

- Did they level up?

- Poor Ruby, BRING HER BACK

- SUGAR PLUM FAIRY, that “please”. Don’t trust her, but oh god. Poor Ruby.

- “There might be a way to bring all of you to her” NOPE DONT TRUST THATTTTT

- Her sister is waiting for her!

- KILL THAT FUCKING CARROT AND HIS 30 KNIGHTS

- DOUBLE NAT 20 BITCHES

- Glowing Ruby! GLOWING RUBY!

- Oh god, she thought Amethar was dead for a second!

- Liam has a level of rouge???

- Is wTersteel illegal or a war crime??

- Liam can’t be seen by true sight! Ciabatta doesn’t trust Alfredi! Oh spaghetti lady is dead. No more waters tell! Yay!

- Stupid fake glowing rock.

- Jets body! Wrapped in lingerie tear away. That’s fucking sad. At least Ruby will get her stuff back.

- Locket give him advantage???

- The bands getting back together!!!

- Papa daughter love

- RUBY DONT KILL THE CHILDREN

- The inclusion jokes are back!

- Two invisible people hugging.

- Cruller revealed to Ruby

- Amethar just sounds broken

- Cumulous being stealthy like lapin.

- Ruby gets her locket and blade back. Poor girl.

- Liam keeps the necklace. Ruby and Liam getting brotherly.Choker or bracelet.

- THE GANGS BACK TOGETHER!

- Horrified woman. Her worlds about to crash down!

- IT WAS A SETUP! CARAMELINDA DIDNT KNOW LINGERIE LADY(or she lying)

- We have to stop screaming.

- Castle candy has no defenders that are loyal to the true king.

- Love the weird smell ideas!!

- Love to hear “nice” with initiative rolls

- YAY THEY LAUGHED

- BRENNAN PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE

- So cute! Mini minis! But. There’s. A. Jet. One.

- Good luck charm Jet!

- 25 minutes left!!

- Instresting battle layout.

- Fucking Cruller banners

- So many Nat 20s from my girl!! (And the others!)

- They’re just tracking Theo and Caramelinda right?

- Convincing people you’re a god never works out well

- Liam Rules

- I love creative uses of mage hand! and DM is pretty cool himself for allowing it!

- And message is so useful

- Character sheet edits on the fly!

- Zac keeps trying to kill his character with sacrifices, dog damn.

- Long death monks are freaking badass. Love them so much. Keeping the dogs from moving closer is great!

- So many one shot kills.

- Steal those horses!!

- Who is Liam Wilheminia!?

- Cumulous honestly should have left the dogs alone in my opinion.

- So many shenanigans!

- Kiss on the cheek! Is it Jet??

- JESUS CHRIST! NAT 20s UP THE WHAZOO. Off the cliff we go, whoops!

- Deflect missles!

- How do you hurt cotton candy?

- 17 ain’t a lot of hit point my friend

- IS LIAM CONNECT TO SOMETHING IMPORTANT??? BUT NOT THE HINGRY ONE!?

- Cumulous is so ruthless

- This episode is just them running. This season is just the. Running, let’s be honest.

- You gotta have that lingerie store

- Friends don’t let friends Ford a river!

- Ruby’s rolls are over the place.

- These Nat 20s man.

- Everyone a Italian

- Ally’s nat 20s coming back to them, baby!

- I love Liams Batman-ing.

- Damn.

- Love Siobhans honestly about not being invisible.

- In the future, Ruby and Liam bonding over being ranged fighter buddies.(and rouges)

- Brennan’s, little impatient “23” gives me life.

- I love the rage that gives damage.

- “How dumb we want to be”

- Don’t mess with Candians, man.

- The little bread army didn’t even get to hit the family!!

- I never thought Cotton Candy would be fast.

- Oh those knights move fast.

- You gotta love those roll in the 30s

- That poor black licorice baby. Its just so sad.

- That fucking Hay Bale!!

- REALLY MANTA RAY! YOU HAD TO RING THE BELL?!?

- DO NOT HIT RUBY

- Swirl warden applies to Liam?

- Hoarse Theo, “No one else dies today”

- PUSH THE BOAT AMETHAR!

- Monks are really fucking insane.

- Damn, Ruby’s turning into a little killer.

- Knock is fucking cool. Let lose the horses of war!!

- THEY ESCAPED!!

- Ohh they have us official art of Jet and Amethar.

- Kinda a short episode.

- they have a funeral next time!!

- Damn, secrets are coming.

- Ruby’s shadow might be Jet!!!(or lazuli? She had a long braid as well??? Right?)

[coyotesongwriting]

When It Rains, It Pours - Ch. 4

Avengers - Bucky Barnes/Reader

Chapter 4 - Aspen

Story Summary:  Things are going great between you and Bucky, until one day they aren’t. He dumps you, not knowing that what you’d wanted to talk to him about was the positive pregnancy test you held behind your back.

Chapter Summary: It’s time

Author’s Note: Thank you guys for reading this! All mistakes are my own!

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

Tag List (if you want to be added or removed let me know!):    @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark  @samsgoddess @redfoxwritesstuff​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @fookingmuffins​ @yasnooshka24​ @redfoxwritesstuff​ @amazon-belle​ @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven​ @kinkywitchy​ @superwonderwholock​

Not sure why tumblr is bugging out but it won’t let me tag @avengemari, I’ll keep trying to tag ya though!

Previous Chapter

Thor had arrived back from Midgard with a huge box of books, and you were so excited. You swore he’d bought two of every maternity and medical book he was able to find in the store. When you’d laughed and asked why he’d got two copies, he shrugged and explained that one copy was for you, and one was for the library. Since you were staying and would be raising your child there, it only made sense that they had books available for the healers and midwives to study. 

You’d become overly emotional in the last few weeks, and you’d begun to sob into his chest as you hugged him. Thor merely laughed and ruffled your hair once you’d calmed down. You’d missed him while he was gone, but it had given you and Loki a chance to really bond. Thanks to the late night mentoring, the two of you had been close but while Thor was gone, he really stepped it up.

You’d begun to think of Loki as just as much of a brother to you as Thor was. You were still training with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three every day, but Loki was always nearby, never letting you out of his sight. He worried about the pregnancy more than you did, and it was honestly pretty endearing. You had never realized how much he cared about you until then. 

Bitra was pleased when you and Thor had arrived to bring her a copy of the pregnancy books and she’d read them all in no time. Apparently, Midgardian pregnancy actually was similar to Asgardian which relieved the both of you. It was like a weight was taken off your shoulders when you realized you didn’t need to worry as you had been. If it had continued much longer, you’d have had to ask Thor to take you back to Midgard for a checkup.

As summer rolled into autumn, Thor returned to his regular schedule of once a week visits to the Avengers. Every time, he offered to bring you along with him and every time you said no, merely asking him to tell the others you were doing well. They sent you their love, and once, Nat even sent you the beautiful necklace she’d found that you might like.

Bucky had been scarce since you left, and it seemed like he was getting sent on more missions than ever while the others suddenly had less. When Steve finally confronted Fury, asking what was going on he learned that Bucky had requested to be out in the field more often. He’d claimed that he’d been feeling too cooped up lately. 

It had taken Nat and Clint a while to be willing to work with him again as they had before, but eventually, Thor had managed to convince them to give up the ghost. They both held a grudge against the man who’d broken your heart, but if what Thor said was true you truly were doing alright now.

Even though Thor was making frequent trips, Loki never joined him anymore. Instead, he remained behind and looked after you. As your due date grew closer, Loki became more and more like a mother hen. When you were eight months pregnant, he began to argue with you about the fact that you were still training or really, anything you did that required you doing anything physical. As your pregnancy had progressed, you’d started training less and less and now you did barely any every day, just some basic knife throwing, but he found even that to be too much. 

“Please sit down, Lady [Y/N” Loki plead, pointing at a garden bench.

It was a lovely autumn day, and you had gone for a stroll in the gardens to enjoy the cool breeze. Unfortunately, Loki had followed you to the garden and you hadn’t even been out for five minutes before he began to pester you to take a rest. 

You whirled on him, finally having had enough. The look on your face was pure murder as you shoved your hand into his chest, pushing him back. His eyes opened wide as he watched you.

“If you don’t shut up Loki I swear I will kill you! I am pregnant, not injured! If I want to go for a stroll in the garden, I will damn well do so” you spat, glaring at him.

“I’m sorry. I just worry for you” he sighed, “I don’t want anything to happen to you or your child.”

Seeing the sad look on his face, a small frown crept across your face and you swept him up into a hug, “I know. But you need to trust me here. I feel totally fine, okay? If I didn’t, I would take a break. I know my body, okay?” 

After a long pause, his arms wrapped around you to return the hug. You stayed that way for a long moment before you stepped back and held out your arm. With a small smile, he hooked his arm in yours and the two of you went on a tour of the gardens, this time he only asked you to take a break every ten minutes.

~~~~~~

On November 14, you welcomed your little girl into the world. The birth had gone perfectly, and Bitra couldn’t have been prouder of you. Thor had been there to hold your hand through the whole thing, though he later swore that you broke his hand. She was the spitting image of her father and looking down at her for the first time your heart tightened. She had his brown hair, and looking into her eyes you swore you felt like you were looking straight at Bucky. You smiled softly down at her, tears in your arms as you cuddled her close and thought about her father.

“What are you going to call her?” Lady Sif had come to see you, and she was so excited to welcome the little one into their ragtag group.

“Her name is Aspen” your voice was gentle as you watched her sleep.

You’d named her after the town where you’d fallen in love with Bucky. The two of you had been sent on a mission to track a potential Hydra agent, and you’d had to pretend to be a honeymooning couple in the ski town. You’d spent the weekend curled up in the lobby of the lodge with him, and that had been that. The way he looked at you sometimes during that mission, you’d forgotten that you two weren’t really on your honeymoon.

“A strong name for a strong warrior” Lady Sif laughed softly, “I look forward to training with you properly once you’re feeling better, [Y/N]. It will be interesting to see how you do!”

You let out a low groan and threw your head back against the pillow, you were exhausted and the mere idea of training was too much for you right now. Sif merely grinned mischievously and headed out after patting you on the shoulder.

“You have a beautiful daughter” Loki had finally come to see you, and he smiled down at you sadly. He’d become your confidante over the last few months, and he understood just how much you missed Bucky. If anyone had asked you a year ago if you could ever imagine considering Loki family you’d have laughed in their face. Time had a way of changing things though.

You scooted over carefully, tired and sore and he climbed into bed next to you. He sat next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you rested your head on his chest. You smiled down at your baby girl, “Hear that sweetie? Uncle Loki thinks you’re pretty.”

Tears welled in your eyes and began to roll down your cheeks, getting Loki’s shirt damp, as you thought of Bucky. Loki ignored the tears and began to hum a soft lullaby. You were almost asleep when you swore you heard him whisper, “I’m sorry” but before you could respond, you were out like a light.

When you awoke the next day to Aspen’s crying, Loki was long gone. Bitra arrived to help you out as you learned tips on raising your baby girl, and you soon forgot all about his late-night apology.

~~~~~~

Thor was a day late to his usual meeting with the team. He’d waited to make sure you were alright before he left, and even then he only did so once you’d sworn to have Heimdall get him if you needed anything. He promised that he’d be back as soon as he could, and had left at first light.

When Thor entered the tower, he couldn’t stop smiling. The sight of you and Aspen together was enough to leave him grinning like a fool. The lounge was almost empty at the early hour, only Clint was present.

“What’s got you in a good mood?” Clint grumbled, clutching his coffee cup and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Lady [Y/N] -” he started, but caught himself. Only, he didn’t know what to say next and froze. 

“What about her?” Clint was suddenly awake, “Is she okay?”

“Er, yeah. No, she’s great” he stumbled over his words, “Nope she’s fine, great, nothing to worry about there. She’s just at home. Yep. Just at home with the others. Nothing weird there.”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “Yeah that’s not suspicious at all. Thor, you better tell me the truth. If something’s wrong with her and you don’t tell me, I’ll kill you.”

Nat walked in just in time to hear Clint and she whirled on Thor, “What’s wrong with [Y/N]?” her voice was hard.

“She’s fine, I swear. She’s just at home, resting” Thor explained, cursing himself internally.

“Yeah, I’m not buying that. Okay, buddy. I think we’ve given her enough space” Clint said, getting to his feet, “Let’s go see her, I need to see she’s okay.”

Thor frowned, “I’m sorry Clint, but Lady [Y/N] has specifically requested I not bring any visitors.”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “Look, no one we know but you has seen or heard from her in months. How in the hell are we supposed to know you’re telling the truth? For all we know, she’s not doing well at all.”

“You must know I would not lie to you” Thor sighed, “But Lady [Y/N] has made her wishes perfectly clear and I would dare not go against her. Not in this matter” he rubbed his hand, which was still aching from your grip.

“What’d [Y/N] say?” Steve asked as he walked in and leaned against the counter, watching Thor curiously.

“That she does not want visitors and I am not to bring any of you with me to Asgard” he explained.

Steve sighed, “Still? It’s been seven months, Thor. Surely she can’t still mean that. When did she tell you no visitors?”

“Last night.” Thor’s voice was steady and slightly sad. He didn’t like keeping secrets from the team but he’d do it for you.

“Seriously? What’s going on with her, Thor. Please. Is she really okay? I’m worried about her” Nat sighed, stealing Clint’s coffee mug. 

“I swear on my honor, Natasha. Lady [Y/N] is doing fine. If she was not, Heimdall would have summoned me back already. He is under strict orders to get me if anything is wrong with her. They-She is happy, and she is healthy” Thor was looking her in the eyes, earnest as he spoke. 

Steve nodded unhappily but he and Clint gave up the argument, hoping that Thor was telling the truth. Natasha however, had caught Thor’s latest slip up and her mind began to race.

Next Chapter ->

Find this story on AO3

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#20)

YESSIR. WE MADE IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE WE MADE IT.

Final episode that I’m watching for the rewatch series. Ready to fuck some shit up.

S3 E20: The Tipping Point.

Episode description: Dr. Rhodes second guesses his decision to remove himself from the team of doctors who work to separate conjoined twins.

You’ve gotta be fucking joking right?

okay.

last ava ep that mattered. i’m so excited

let’s get into it.

- ava

- the way nat looks at connor when ava says that he will not be operating

- it’s like no one trusts ava at all?

- yes, he’s emotionally involved, but is that really that good of a thing?

- ava is of sound mind. connor evidently does not think that he is

- why is connor apparently the only one capable of the surgery?

- fuck off. this is why he needs to leave

- so many nat ava interactions. i never expected this. ( i should have. i am dumb)

- ava reminding nat that like, she’s here. right next to them. in this conversation

- nat, to connor: “The cronins are counting on you!”

ava: “They’re counting on the team.” like bitch?

- like it or not, nat also does not believe women should have rights. maybe it’s a manstead thing. no. it’s definitely a med thing.

- i like ethan’s jacket.

- april can shut the fuck up. hypocrite? i smell a hypocrite? (who am I kidding, they’re all over med)

- ethan has the best outfits

- april. the one who preached unconditional love. is like. ‘emily can get fucked. i don’t care.’ i can’t believe it. this is so fucking stupid.

- three weeks ago (literally) will and nat were not on speaking terms. now he’s gonna fucking propose?

- NOBODY ON MED HAS FUCKING BRAIN CELLS

- I always hated how on tv shows, characters get married super soon. it’s so fucking annoying.

- omg bert tried to kill himself holy shit

- ava sighing at connor trying to give input.

- sarah’s dad: “I don’t deserve you.” NO BITCH YOU DON’T. go die

- connor fuck off. stop having to give orders on everything

- yeah, sure. connor emotes in this episode. but what he’s emoting at is going in and fucking stealing a huge surgery

- i can’t believe this is the last episode of med with connor. can’t believes he leaves for mayo clinic at the end of the season... the world we live in...

- YESSS THEY FIND EMILY AT THE ENCAMPMENT. classic angst. honestly. i fucking love it.

- yeah april.

- god this is like. classic angst. old school. back to basics. this is fucking fantastic

- UGHHHH I LOVE ITTTT

- the fuck?

- the mayo guy, and the other doctors are surprised that connor, a surgeon, knows how to do surgery? EXCUSE ME? THE BAR IS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR

- why is everyone so fucking stupid. i’m being serious. watch that scene. it is so stupid.

- ava is... not surprised that connor cut in. i mean. is anyone?

- she almost has that scoffy grin, that she does, under her mask

- okay but like ava’s character growth. instead of being mad that connor’s getting in on the surgery (like she would at the beginning of the season), she’s concerned for his career.

- sarah’s dad is fucking pathetic. i can’t believe sarah’s stuck with him. she deserves so much better

- SHE HAD TO MOVE TO FUCKING TEXAS. COME THE FUCK ON.

- i can’t believe he fucking tricks her into walking him outside. fuck him.

- takes him for a walk and pushes him down a hill

- it’s taking all of my self control not to write something where ava does that

- the way ethan subtly flinches when emily apoligizes. brian tee is a god

- sarah’s dad’s dialogue really makes it seem like he’s gonna murder his own daughter

- the monkeys is a good bit

- HOLY SHIT ITS LANIK

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT OKAY DAMN

- he is way different than i remember. i literally never paid attention to him

- ava with her fuckinngggg rolled up sleeves is still fantastic

- ava’s disappointment at seeing connor meet with the mayo clinic guy. most rh*kker thing we’ve seen all season. and yeah, i’m including the one night stand. there’s a special kind of upset you get at seeing someone you love leave and move far away. it’s not really the same as losing someone who’s just a friend. that’s why i say it’s the most rh*kker thing.

- of course, i am still keeping them platonic, so going off of that. ava is thinking that she is about to lose the only person she’s gotten close to in the last seven months. of course she’s going to be upset

- (in the rewrite this loss is not as much of a problem bc in the rewrite she has reese)

- also that surgery was so anticlimactic fuck off. this episode is fucking boring. my favorite part is probably the emily reveal. i’m a sucker for some sibling angst

- is he really going to propose. off of that? her being mad at him. you’ve got to be fucking joking.

- HOLY FUCKING SHIT APRIL IS THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON. SO FUCKING CONDESCENDING? “She’s damaged, you can’t fix her.” SHE’S TALKING DOWN TO HIM. this is so fucking infuriating

- i cannot believe this i cannot believe this i cannot believe this she’s fucking breaking up with him bc he cares about his sister. the sister she told him to care about?? holy fuck, I can’t

- WILL IS SO FUCKING DUMB

- YOU CANT PROPOSE TO HER WHEN SHES MAD AT YOU

- YOU ALSO CANT PROPOSE TO HER BC YOU ARE FUCKING TOXIC

- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???

- he is so fucking dumb oh my god

- connor looking out, pensive over the parking lot. why is everyone on this show so fucking extra

- tell me why ava’s casual clothes is a button up. ma’am.

- back at it with the snippy one liners

- she looks so sad? baby noooo.

- i can’t. my heart can’t.

- there’s a lot to unpack in this scene

- i don’t really know why she starts out looking so sad?

- let’s chalk that up to her being tired, and channeling her little energy into feigning annoyance at connor. but then, as she keeps speaking, keeps thinking, she taps into this deep seeded feeling of indignance. real annoyance at connor’s bullshit.

- connor returns ava’s initial comment, which at this point is still kind of light and teasing, with another sly line, trying to brush it off.

connor: “You give me too much credit.”

ava, tucking her tongue in front of her teeth in that way when you don’t believe what someone’s saying: “Do I?”

- next, she says “you’re ambition strikes me as boundless.” I really have no clue what to make of that/

- then she says “I don’t know what to think.” shaking her head, shrugging. at a loss. why? is it bc she can’t figure out what he is/was trying to do? she can’t understand him anymore?

i think it’s ‘she was surprised by what he did, but she’s mad at herself bc honestly, she shouldn’t have been’. she thought he had changed, when he pulled himself off the case. thought he had gained some humility (finally, finally given ava her one moment in the sun to shine). and then he goes back on it almost immediately.

yeah. that’s what it is. she’s surprised, but mad bc she shouldn’t have been.

- she says “but I’m sure you also secured yourself an attending position” as like a slight jab. not really meant to be cutting, but then his reaction ruins it and makes her realize that something worse actually happened. if connor had responded to it in kind with another snarky comment the moment probably would have been fine

- connor’s “ah, god, ava -” comes off as so fucking insincere.

- ava’s small little “what?”. my heart

- i also think it’s interesting that when she’s thinking things through in the moment really fast, her face changes with her thoughts/emotions, and out of some sort of reflex, she smiles. her first thing is to laugh at the situation, scoff at it

- she’s laughing out of disbelief

- why is she laughing (out of reflex)? because this is stupid. HE DID SOMETHING THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNFAIR AND RECKLESS. AND HE’S GETTING REWARDED FOR IT. LIKE HE ALWAYS HAS. and Ava is the only person to see how unfair it is. everyone else would congratulate him no questions. can’t fucking believe it

- connor asking ava if she would take the offer is so fucking pathetic. he’s asking bc he’s hoping she’d say no, and then he’d finally have his answer to ‘is she in love with me’. the stupidest thing is she says no, which basically means no, i’m not in love with you, AND HE STILL TURNS IT DOWN. WHAT THE FUCK

- boy get some fucking eyes.

- also holy shit i’m just now realizing how cool my idea of connor somehow passing the offer off to her would be in one of my alternate endings of s3. because, he literally asks her is she would take the offer and she literally says she would. so that would be completely in character

- for those of you wondering, in my version, the reason ava wants connor around is bc he’s her only friend. why would it make sense for her to take the mayo clinic offer? did you just trap yourself in your logic

- no, it’s okay, bc if she took the offer, it’s just a reset. it’s not any different, bc she’s in a completely new place, she has time to make more connections. the reason she clung to connor was bc over the seven months, he was the only person she connected with, so she valued him immensely. there’s no reason she couldn’t make another connection at the mayo clinic. it’s perfectly fine.

- connor’s such a fucking simp its so pathetic

- she’s staying for sarah

- why does she start crying? that’s a good question.

- well, for all the reasons we stated before. she’s losing the closest thing to a best friend that she has. it’s sad. it’s alienating. and she’s sad bc she thinks there’s no way that he wouldn’t take the offer

- (bc they’re just good friends. you don’t turn down job offers for good friends. and it’s true. in my version, they are just good friends, and connor takes it. and ava has to deal with being lonely again.)

- (of course, med took a different route.)

- i fucking hate this show. i fucking hate this show so much.

- the last shot of the season is sarah and charles and sarah’s dad and we get one episode of  wrap up. med likes their cliffhangers so fucking much.

okay, so. this episode is pretty good for like a branching off point. we see the anxiety ava feels at the idea of connor leaving, which is really good to work with moving forward. I feel like I’ve said enough on all these different topics.

That being said, I have a lot of thoughts, and now that I have the knowledge of what my canon will be, going forward, this is going to be fun.

When I have more ideas, I’ll make more posts.

we’ve set the grounds. this was the final episode. now we look ahead, towards the future of med.

thank you, so much, for sticking with it. <3<3