#needs transcript

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

phillies i really get it. he’s so perfect. like i understand and if i had better taste and more self respect i’d be right there with you because look at him. he’s so silly and dumb. exquisite.

[digitalrevolutions]

[royalarchivist]

Phil: I still stand by, if I get a snail, I'm gonna fail RP and log out.

Sneeg: I don't think they're gonna give you one just like, unsolicited. Especially 'cuz you've threatened to not play? 🙄

Phil: [Cracks up] I've played these games before! I've done it before, man! I genuinely probably need therapy, but I'm just putting it off! [Laughs]

Sneeg: How do you explain to a therapist that you're attached to an Egg from Minecraft though? 🤨

Phil: Ok, so there's this server, right? And it's ran by my friend, and– It's– brings in people from various different cultures and languages, and then– and then he decided: "Oh, you know what would be really cool to keep people playing? And invested? What if we give them a fcking EGG?"

Phil's Chayanne and Lullah emotes were made by @strawbekka.

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

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Phil: I still stand by, if I get a snail, I'm gonna fail RP and log out.

Sneeg: I don't think they're gonna give you one–

Phil: Good

Sneeg: –just like, unsolicited. Especially 'cuz you've threatened to not play? 🙄 Um...

Phil: [Cracks up]

Sneeg: I don't think they're... I don't think they're gonna gamble on that.

Phil: I'm not doin' this NPC, like– actor– like, thing on server again! I've played these games before!

Sneeg: [Laughs]

Phil: I've played these g– I've done it before, man! I genuinely probably need therapy, but I'm just putting it off! [Laughs] For- for fckin'–

Sneeg: How do you explain to a therapist that you're attached to an Egg from Minecraft though?

Phil: Ok, so there's this server, right? And it's ran by my friend, and– it's–

Sneeg: [Overlapping with Phil] There's this server– and then there was an Egg, with a glock. [Laughs]

Phil: ��Brings in people from various different cultures and languages, and then– and then he decided: "Oh, you know what would be really cool to keep people playing? And invested? What if we give them a fcking EGG?"

Sneeg: Attachment. [Laughs] Attachment to something!

Phil: "What if we give them an Egg that- that has wants and needs? And you need to look after it."

Sneeg: And a personality!

Phil: Yeah, "And a personality, and- [stammers] and quirks and- and–"

Sneeg: [Overlapping with Phil] And its life's in danger, people– things were trying to kill it.

Phil: Yeah. And things keep trying to kill it, and you have to save it, you are its– you are its only s– hope.

Sneeg: If it dies, it's your fault. It's your fault! Your fault. [Laughs]

Phil: [In unison with Sneeg] Your fault! Your entire audience of thousands of people will be PISSED if you don't care! If you don't care, you are a MONSTER!

Sneeg: [Overlapping with Phil] And they're so valid, they're so valid 'cuz it's true.

Phil: [Laugh] Imagine joining my stream, and I'm just like reading a bedtime story to a little Egg.

Sneeg: [Cracks up]

Phil: Like– [Laughs] Like, what a CRAZY way to come back!

Sneeg: "Oh, my favorite vanilla Minecraft streamer Philza Minecraft's on– playing Minecraft today, let's see what he's doing!" [Voice cracks as he tries not to laugh]

Phil: Yeah, "What's- what's Kusump?" [QSMP]

Sneeg: –and you're like: [Leaning into his mic] "Humpty Dumpty." [Laughs]

Phil: "What's Kusump? What's this? Why's he got an Egg, and why is it just holding up a sign that just says 'Food'?"

[clownowo]

thought about them too hard and exploded. sorry !

[valtsv]

the silt verses listening experience

[doesromandoart]

One last con

[boatemboys]

NEW FAVOURITE CLIP

transcript:

Joe Hills: Anyway- timeskip! I forget where I'm going. Oh yeah it's funnier if I fly

(He takes off and hits something)

Ow.

(As he falls into screen and dies, he starts laughing hysterically)

I better go get my stuff...

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Neil Gaiman and Roz Kaveney at the British Library event Why We Need Fantasy 20.11.2023 :) ❤

Neil: Good omens Season One was, for me, an exercise in adaptation. I'd taken something, and I wanted to turn it into something else. Good Omens Season Two, on the other hand, was just an absolute joy, because now I knew I have Jon Hamm, and I can get him to do this stuff, and he's going to be walking naked through Soho at the beginning, and everybody is going to think they're going to hate him, and instead, he's going to be this marvelous, goofy figure that they will all love but kind of hate themselves for loving, but not know if he's a bad guy, but they'll love him anyway. And over here, I will have my Crowley, and I know that I can get David Tennant to do anything now, there is nothing that he will not go for. And so I can ask him to do things that are even more ridiculous. And then over here, I've got Michael Sheen, and everybody in the whole world just wants to..., you know, it is now forgotten by humanity that once upon a time, Michael Sheen was thought of as that actor who plays the really creepy people.

Roz: Yeah. I saw him in Kingdom of Heaven the other night and thought, oh, that was Michael Sheen.

Neil: That was Michael Sheen.

Roz: The evil priest that gets killed.

Neil: He used to play... I mean, he used to play creepy people, and everybody knew that if you want a good, slimy serial killer person, you go for Michael Sheen. Currently - I got a phone call from him the other day - a little Marco Polo video message from him with the strangest haircut I've seen, and I get strange messed... you know, hair, but this one, and he's playing Prince Andrew, so he's absolutely capable of still bringing in the creep. But, you know, Michael having just become this cuddly, cinnamon roll creature of pure love and joy and knowing that everybody was just going to want to cuddle him for six episodes until I let him break their hearts. I'm sorry. Perhaps he will-

Audience member: No, you're not.

Neil: Not even the tiniest bit. There is no sorrow in that.

Roz: I was in hospital when I saw Good Omens Two and the moment I finished watching it, I texted you and said, 'You magnificent bastard.'

Watch the whole event here :).

[sketchingdemonss]

dumb blocktales doodles

[smilesrobotlover]

Your chances of being bamboozled by Leon is extremely low but never zero

[royalarchivist]

Pac: This is the new me, ok? I want you to welcome... the new Pac! [...] This skin is really cool, I think I'm gonna use this more often.

Himaru: ...What happened to you, man? Did you get run over? 😰

Pac: [Laughs] Don't judge me, don't judge me!

Being ugly in Arkanis is a crime, and unfortunately for all of us, Pac loves being a criminal. 😓

[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

—

Pac: Guys– This is the new me, ok? I want you to welcome... the new Pac!

Pac: [Laughs]

[Pac gets kicked from the server with the message: "Change this"]

Pac: [Laughing] No! No! No– I won't change, I won't change, I won't change! I won't change! Let me- let me in! No no no– What a dictatorship– there can't be a dictatorship here, no– No, I won't change! [Stammers] I'm- I'm myself! I'm myself!

Pac: [Pinches his nose so he has a nasally voice] Hi friends, welcome to class. I'm going to talk like that, ok? I'll even turn off the facecam, because today, I'm going to– I'm kidding, no no no.

Pac: Man, this skin is really cool, it really is. I think that this– I'm gonna use this more often, man. [Reading chat] "Halloween is over" Guys, this– This is who I am now! Who I am– This is me now, I'm this person here.

[Red text appears on the screen saying "30 seconds to change"]

Pac: "30 seconds to change–" Hang on, what is this?! No– calma, what is–? Guys, for the love of god–

[Another warning appears saying "20 seconds to change"]

Pac: No!!! No! No no no! No no no! You can't do this! You can't do this here. You- you can't. You can't make me change my skin.

[A final warning appears saying "10 seconds to change"]

Pac: No– You can't, I won't take it off! I'm going to my class now, I have to go to class! This is my "studying" skin! I- I–

[Pac gets banned]

Pac: [Hits his desk]

Dono: The skinmakers in chat are crying, having heart attacks, collapsing. It's horrible, dude.

Pac: [Laughs] It's not that ugly, it's fine, it's good.

Himaru: [Long pause] ...What happened to you, man? Did you get run over?

Pac: [Laughs] Don't judge me, don't judge me! Ok? Look at- look at- look at JVNQ! He has a funny face too, but nobody says anything about it!

Himaru: No man, I'm not judging you, but– I just wor- I'm just worried! [...] Well for me, I'll be serious with you: it doesn't matter what's on the outside, ok? What matters is what's inside, got it?

Pac: Thank you. [He hugs Himaru] Do you think I'm poggers? Do you think I'm poggers? Say it.

Himaru: No Pac, it doesn't matter that you look ugly, ridiculous, like a truck reversed into you then ran you over, like someone hit you–

Milo: my god

Himaru: –like Anderson Silva crushed you in the ring– Hey, it doesn't matter! What matters is that your heart is beating.

JV: And you have a home!

Himaru: Understand? Give love to others, ok?

Pac: My god.

Milo: he was saving those insults

Himaru: And that's all, ok man? You can be at peace, ok? I won't- I won't judge you, I'll just... I'll just do one thing, man.

Pac: What are you doing?

Himaru: I'm just going to avoid eye contact, ok? But I'm still talking to you, I'm still listening, ok? I hear you.

Pac: ...I can't believe this.

[sillyandstupididk]

Derek Forbort on Quinn Hughes (Canucks Insider)

Q: What is it like having Quinn as a captain?

Oh he’s great. He’s such a good dude. Yknow, I think you see him on the bench and he’s not the most talkative, but in the room he’s a fiery guy. He’s competitive, and he gets the boys ready to go. He’s got that swagger to him, like he goes out there and he knows he’s the best player and I think it kinda rubs off on the guys, the way he competes. Yeah, he’s awesome. He’s a special player and a special guy.

Q: What’s it like for you guys on the bench when you’re watching him, some of these things he does at the blue line? When you guys and the defensemen are sitting together, like what is it like? How are you talking about the stuff he’s doing out there? 

It’s annoying! All you Canucks fans think it’s that easy to do, it’s like… But no, I mean, it makes no sense; he’s like a point guard up there. I mean, maybe like him and Makar are the only ones in the league who can do that. Just how easy he makes it look, he’s got some special hips. 

[coldasyou]

All right, give it here.

🎥: @mttztrading

[human-for-tonight]

choosing to believe "the serum" is testosterone and maxwell is trans