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justsomegdude · 1 year ago

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Hate or Lust?

Summary: Y/N and Negan get separated from the rest of the saviors for a few nights.

Warning: Negan is a warning himself, swearing, tension, sexual tension.

A/N: I randomly made this with my boyfriend on call! I hope it’s good!!

You’ve known Negan for a while, you were one of his first members. He always seemed to be annoyed by your presence, he enjoyed your work but not you as a person.

You were getting ready to set out with Negan, and a few other of his higher ups to go check out a few abandoned buildings that Dwight said he saw. Of course Negan chose you to go with him. He enjoyed how hard you worked, and how much you’d do for everyone. He didn’t bother to talk to you though.

You walked up to Dwight, slinging your bag over your shoulders. Dwight seemed to have a scowl on his face, never lightening up since Negan burned the side of it. He looked up at you as he fixed his sleeve. “How far away are they?” You had asked and slid your hands into your pockets.

He looked out towards the gate. “…not far away. maybe an hour at most?” He glanced at his sleeve, and then looked at you again. “Big boss making you go?” Dwight knew about the whole thing between the two of you. Dwight was honestly one of your best friends here, so if he didn’t see it himself you would have told him anyway.

With a nod of your head, you heard more footsteps on the gravel ground, slow dragging footsteps that could only belong to one person. “Hey dwighty-boy! You ready?” He stood behind you, looking towards dwight. You turn around to look up at him, which he did not return.

Dwight glanced between the two of you until you looked at Dwight. “Uh.. Yeah.” He wasn’t gonna say anything more, but noticing how there was tension creeping up into the air as Negan stayed put behind you. “You gonna ask the (lady/him) too?” Dwight’s eyebrows furrowed. He knew Negan well enough to know that he’ll never talk to you unless someone mentioned it.

He finally looked down at you, it was your turn to not do it back. “Hey.” His voice was firm, he obviously wasn’t going to enjoy this. You turned your head and looked up into his eyes. His usual smirk wasn’t ever shown when he looked at you. “You ready?” Was all he said, looking up at Dwight again. Your stomach clenched and you looked at the gravel covered driveway. You don’t know what you did to make Negan hate you so much, but it wasn’t a nice feeling.

“yes.” You spat out, it might come off as disrespectful, but Negan doesn’t want to waste time even punishing you. Dwight could be heard entering a truck. Negan stayed behind you, he didn’t make a plan on moving. You heard footsteps behind you from other men, but thinking it was Negan moving you spun around. Then, Negan instead of The Sanctuary in your view had you step back. He looked at you, by choice.

“Watch it, Y/N.” He said firmly, talking with gritted teeth. He held Lucille loosely as he still did not move. His eyes stayed on yours. Your stomach flipped, he never chose to talk to you, or even look at you without reason. So to say you were nervous was an understatement.

Taking a step back, you were the first to stop the staring contest. “Yes sir.” You said, in a quiet voice as you started walking towards the truck you had usually taken, although never keeping the same passenger. You didn’t look back at Negan, but his eyes could be felt on you still. Hopping into the truck with the keys, twirling them before sliding them into the key slot.

Your view was out the window, waiting for the other saviors to get into their trucks. You weren’t sure who was gonna be in your car with you today, so you waited. The door opened which made your eyes dart towards the passenger door, expecting anyone but him to show up. He got into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. Your eyes on him but his eyes on the trucks in front.

You were now gonna have to share a truck with the man that seemed to hate your guts.. Negan. His leather jacket was on but it was now unzipped, Lucille was set on the floor in between the door and his knee. Your truck was the last in line so for him to be joining you, especially as he’d choose anyone but you, it was weird and not like him. “The other trucks were full.” Negan's voice was heard as you realized you were staring at him. Your eyes went back to looking out the window.

“Okay.” Was your response, you weren’t really sure how else you could even respond. The trucks in front of you started so you started your own. Negans presence made an uncomfortable tension. You and him weren’t heads on, but there was an underlying feeling of hatred.

The gates opened to the sanctuary, the few trucks leaving and you started your drive behind them. Usually with whoever your seating partner was there would be at least noises, but with Negan.. There wasn’t even a peep other than the truck's engine being heard. You guys were driving for about an hour like Dwight assumed when the trucks in front came to a slow stop. We arrived and Negan seemed to want to leave as quickly as possible, not even letting you stop the truck completely before he jumped out with Lucille.

You exit your truck after turning it off. Rounding the truck to get to where the other saviors were standing. It seemed like everyone didn’t care to wait for you, but Negan didn’t move until you were close enough to follow. There were two groups of us, although not discussed and just went either way, you weren’t sure which group to follow so you went to the one with Dwight, that just so happened to be the one with Negan.

Entering the house that Dwight chose to go in, someone that you didn’t bother to learn the name of stayed at the door for guard. The room you automatically walked into was the living room, where it looked mostly untouched other than pictures that were clearly taken off the wall, by the fact there were nails left behind. Everyone went into seperate room to search, two in the living room, one in the kitchen, one in the dinning room, and Dwight went into the bedroom on the first floor. Since all rooms were occupied you went up the stairs to go to the first room you saw. It was rather quiet other than the small chatter from the saviors down below. Looking through drawers you found nothing but clothes. Walking over to the bed to look in the nightstand, there were gauze(bandage wraps) which you quickly pocketed for yourself. Hoping no one will notice.

There was a voice from behind you, where the door was. You looked over to see Dwight. “Hey Y/N, find anything?” He entered the room, by how he sounded, he didn’t see you hide the gauze for yourself. You closed the nightstand drawer and stood up.

“Nothing but clothes so far, i’ll keep looking though.” You nodded and went to the other side of the bed to look at the other nightstand. Pulling the drawer open to find batteries, which has you picking them up and throwing them at Dwight. He almost didn’t catch it, he fumbled a little. “Sorry thought you were paying more attention.” I smirked, it was silly banter we did.

Dwight found it funny and finally cracked a smile after how long you’ve seen him without any emotion. He put the batteries in a bag. “Knew you’d find something.” Dwight said and walked towards the door. “Negan said that he doesn’t want to stay here too long, since he thinks he saw a few walkers.” You just nodded at him.

“Thanks Dwight.” You thanked him and he left the room. Taking a quick look around the room to see if there could be any more places to look, not much to look for as this room seemed to be the most bland. Taking a walk around the room before getting onto your stomach to look under the bed. There was liquor. Pulling it out to see what it was you heard footsteps and slid it back under the bed quickly.

You looked under the bed still, pretending like you hadn’t rodin anything. “Y/N.” Negans voice heard, it was a stern way to say your name, and it instantly made you uneasy. Why was he suddenly talking to you so much? “I heard something, what was it?” You looked up at him from where you were laying to see his eyes not at your face, but somewhere around your body. You sighed as you grabbed the liquor, and stood up to show him. Negan quickly smiled when he saw it and took it from you. “Damnnnn. Nice find.” He seemed happy with it, maybe he’ll act like he hates you less. Negan snapped for one of the saviors to take the liquor and bring it to your truck. His hand went to your shoulder, and it made you instantly freeze and you don’t know why. “I’m gonna have some funnn tonighttt,” His tone was bouncing-like. somewhat energetic. “because of you, Y/N.”

Negan then left and it made you speechless. He’s never smiled around you, not talked, not touched, not even looked at you most of the time you’ve known each other. There was nowhere else to look in the room so you left the room. Everyone was already outside taking the stuff they found to the trucks when one savior started to scream about a herd coming. You and Negan were left in the house and tried to run towards the door only to see the walkers already starting to surround the house. Negan saw this as you tried to run out the door and he had quickly grabbed on to your shirt and pulled you against him. “shh.” Negan said quietly. He was protecting you?

The trucks were heard driving off and negan cussed under his breath. They stranded us here without worrying if we were okay or not? Negan's grip is still firm on your shirt. Not letting you move, which made you feel the need to not move an inch. Negan's arm wrapped around your waist as he slowly pulled you back so you weren’t in view of the windows. Why would he care so much about you all of the sudden? “Negan..” You whispered. Which then led him to putting his hand over your mouth.

Negan kept you pressed against him, his arm around your waist and his hand over your mouth. You were hiding from any windows, to not be seen. Everytime Negan heard a noise his hand around your waist got tighter just slightly, but once knowing it okay he loosened his grip. You were unsure how to react to all of this, so you stayed still. Why Negan was protecting you so much was beyond what you knew. Your knees slightly trembled because of the nervousness with both the walker herd and Negan.

When Negan thought the coast was clear he slowly let go of you, but you didn’t move. He leaned down next to your ear. “Y/N.. I think we’re good.” Negans voice was low, he tried to tell you to move it in a way that made it seem less rude. You nodded and stepped out of his reach and towards the door. Your hand went to the doorknob as you tried to react calmly after what Negan had just been doing to you for minutes. When you finally opened the door there was a walker that wasn’t heard or seen and came walking towards you, Negan quickly pulled you back and hit the walker into the door frame. blood and brains dripping from the now dead.. dead guys head. Negan was protecting you left and right now, which only made you confused.

Taking a look outside to view around for anymore close walkers, and when there were none you and Negan quietly ran towards the truck. You didn’t know how to get back to The sanctuary.. You always were following behind a truck that knew where, but you didn’t. “Negan.. Do you remember how to get back?” You looked at Negan and somewhere along the line of when you were checking for walkers and now, Lucille was with him.

He quickly looked at you. “No?! you don’t know?!” He was more nervous sounding than angry. He cursed under his breath. “All I know is we came from that road..” Negan had pointed at the road that you both knew you guys drove down. Starting the truck and driving towards the road. “Those pieces of shit. How could they just leave?!” His hand hit the dash and it made you jump. Negan looked at you before trying to calm down.

—————

It was hours after then and you and Negan had no clue where you guys were. Ending back up at the houses since you’d been marking where they were at least, made you realize that you both were fucked. Your truck was almost out of fuel and it was getting colder. you didn’t dress to be out this long.

Your truck was parked at the side of the road while you and Negan had reentered the looted house from earlier. There was only one blanket that you always kept in your truck just in case.. so you had agreed Negan used it, although it wasn’t much of a debate since you knew Negan wasn’t gonna let you have it.

He was on the bed in the room downstairs and you were on the couch out in the living room. The colder the night got, the more you shivered. Asking Negan for the blanket wouldn’t do anything, but you had to try. Standing up from the couch and taking a slow stroll over to the bedroom, the door was open but you knocked anyways. Negan wasn’t asleep but he was close to being. “What?” Negan said with a quiet, raspy voice, clear on how tired he was.

You took a step into the room. “It’s really cold.. and i was wondering if i could have the blanket..?” Asking Negan a question felt scarier than it should have.

He sat up and faced you. “fuck.. fine. but you’re staying in this room with it in case I want it back.” He agreed and unwrapped the blanket from around himself and threw it at you. You didn’t want to push anything so you wrapped it around yourself and you were going to sit on the floor before Negan spoke up again. “Don’t be an idiot. Get on the bed.” His tone was a low grumble.

You hesitantly sat on the bed next to him, wrapped up in the blanket. At times like these you wish that there were more things to do than sit in silence, but without music, or drawing supplies, no games, it was all very boring. Negan laid down next to you, covering his eyes with his arm.

It was awkward, in the same bed as the guy that you used to think hated you, but now that he saved you twice you weren’t sure. You could feel the annoyance radiating off of him with how he was acting. “You didn’t have to give me it, you know..” You spoke quietly. This made Negan uncover his eyes to look at you.

“My leather jacket is enough to keep me warm, don’t worry about it.” He put out, turning over on his side with an audible groan. You kept sat up for a little while so it didn’t look like you were copying him, until you also laid down. Cuddling up with the blanket as you pretended he wasn’t there, so you could ease your mind into sleep faster.

—————

Waking up in the morning, your blanket was still around you, but you felt another thing on you. You looked over at Negan only to find out his arm had been wrapped around you while you both slept. Maybe Negan accidentally moves a lot in his sleep, and would most likely hate waking up with him touching you at all, so you try to quietly and gently move his arm off of you. What you didn’t expect was his arm to tighten around you. His unconscious form wouldn’t allow you to move his arm off of you.

The only thing you could do was wait for him to wake up. Which obviously took longer than you’d wish. He most likely fell asleep after you then. Waiting for him felt unnecessarily long, because all you were doing was lying there silent and still. Probably ten minutes you were sat there with his arm wrapped around your waist until you felt him move, a small noise coming out of him as he finally took his arm off of you and sat up completely. To not make it seem like you were awake, you waited a little longer. He got up and walked out of the room, which made it perfect for you to finally ‘wake up.’

The blanket you used, you left on the bed. You didn’t need it as much anymore since it was day and it would get warmer out. Walking out of the room a minute after Negan did, you saw him looking out the window. “Hey Negan.” You said getting a little closer. He turns around to look at you.

“Hmm?” He hummed and looked back out the window. “Hi?” He questioned why you asked, understandably so since you guys usually never talked.

“Do you think they’ll come back for us?” Your question made Negan clench his jaw and face you again.

He looked at you for what felt like forever before he finally answer. “They better.” Was all Negan came up with. You noticed that he was getting upset, so you took that as a sign to shut up. You looked out the window as well to see what Negan happened to be looking at. There wasn’t anything out there, must have been just hoping for them to come back.

Negan and you were waiting around almost the entire day doing nothing. Since the saviors that so rudely left you took almost everything from the houses nearby there was next to nothing to actually do. You ventured into the other houses but again, all were looted by the people who left you. No sign of them even coming back yet.

You were outside laying in the grass looking up at the sky that was slowly getting darker. Negan was standing by you, you couldn’t tell if he was watching you or just watching for anything in general.

“you look dumb.” Negan spoke up, looking down at you. Which made you look up at his direction.

“I don’t see you finding anything to pass the time.” You glared, although not really fun it’s better than nothing.

Negan nods, “Yeah, and i don’t see any food on the table either, so maybe help me find some before it’s too late?” His statement made you stand up and wipe your clothes from any collected dirt.

Looking over at him, his eyes were closed. “Yeah? and how do you expect to find food? we’re not hunters.” Your statement made his eyes open. (Daryl randomly appears and hands them squirrels -Ray)

Negan stared at you for what felt like minutes yet again. His eyes weren’t only on your own, but seemed to go up and down, what felt like judgement. “I mean if they don’t come back, we’ll need to find food somehow.” Negan finally broke the silence.

“Well no duh Negan, we aren’t just gonna let ourselves starve??” Your hands go up as you shrug, annoyed. Negan’s eyes went to the ground. You sighed. “Well if we can’t hunt, since we both don’t know how i assume, how do you expect us to find food?” You said, a more logical reply.

Negan looks around. “We’ve only been around the houses we’ve already taken from, we can move out more. See if there’s anything around?” His question was reasonable, probably the most reasonable thing he’s said all day.

You walk over to the truck, which has Negan following you. As you both get in the truck and you start it, you don’t really know where to go from here. So basically the rest of the day was spent driving around. Not much talking happened yet again between the two of you, like two kids that hate eachother but the teacher paired you up anyways.

“Stop.” Negans voice was heard suddenly which made you stomp on the breaks. More or less the sudden noise scared you. “Jesus christ not that fucking’ fast!” He glared at you for your abrupt stop.

“You said stop randomly, what would you have done?!” You glared back at him. Negan ignored your comment and got out of the truck. Were you to follow him?

Hoping out of the truck to see why Negan had left, was a mistake because he started taking a piss. You sighed and walked back to the truck. He could have at least told you why, so it wasn’t weird that you followed him. Negan noticed but said nothing. You looked around the place Negan has forced you to stop at, seeing if there was anything other than woods… there wasn’t.

As you make it back to the houses from earlier.. yet again.. you found nothing nearby. Your truck was almost out of fuel, and you didn’t have any food. If Dwight doesn’t come back soon it’s gonna end up with one of us death, if not both. Making your way back inside had Negan basically pacing. This was the first time you’ve seen him actually nervous.

Walking over to him had him stop and look at you. “Are you.. okay?” Was the only thing you could think to ask. Negan sighed.

Negan nodded and began to pace again. Although you could tell he was lying, he also wanted to be seen as a ‘fearless leader.’ So of course he’d pretend. “Those fuckers left us, and they didn’t even come back!” He exclaimed, as if you didn’t know what was happening. You came up to his pacing self yet again and gently grabbed his arm to get him to quit pacing.

He stopped and looked down at you. “It’s just us. You don’t have to pretend you’re alright.” You quietly said. This made Negan let out yet another sigh.

“Okay, I’m not fine, alright?” He was still looking down at you, and your hand was still holding onto his arm. “How can i be a leader when my group isn’t with me!” He sounded frustrated.

“I’m still here.” You said which made Negans facial expressions soften. “You’re still my leader, Negan.” With what you said made Negan finally break the eye contact.

You both stayed silent, in the same position for a minute. “As much as I love being a leader, with only one follower it’s not easy.” He finally spoke up. It was your turn to sigh.

Your arm gently slid down his arm to his hand. “As much as you seem to hate me, be annoyed by me, even hate being around me. You’re not alone here.” You paused, he didn’t seem to pull away from your touch at all. “We’ll make it back to the sanctuary, you’ll be your usual leader self again. You can go back to hating me then, but for now, instead of treating me like you can’t stand being around me, let me help. Talk to me.” You spilled out what you’ve wanted to say all day. It was dumb to say half of the stuff you just said, but you had to tell him. You couldn’t stand seeing him pretend to be okay while he’s clearly frustrated and nervous. He’s your leader, and for him to be one he needs someone to follow him. You will be that someone.

Negan was speechless as he looked back up at you. You stared at eachother for minutes before he finally said something. “I never hated you.” This caught you by surprise. He paused. “You being one of the best saviors had made me nervous. That maybe someday you’d think you’re better than i was, so i avoided you.” His eyes fluttered closed, and his face scrunched up as he paused yet again. “You were always one of the best, ever since you joined the group. And it’s not an excuse for me to have been such an asshole towards you after all you’ve done for me. I’m supposed to be your leader, but i’ve treated you like absolute shit.” His voice became shaky when he finished. His eyes opened again.

You didn’t know how to reply at first, I mean what could you even say to all of that. You thought of anything else you wanted to say, about you two, or about how he felt. “Negan..” You whispered his name so he’d look at you. “I let you lead me because you’re a good leader. Even if i thought you hated me the entire time, everyone has a reason for a wall to be built up. To hide certain people away. I never once doubted you as a leader, because I know I couldn’t lead. especially not as many people as you do.” This made you both squeeze eachother hand. You wanted to continue but you didn’t originally know how do you waited until words came to mind or Negan spoke.

Without a word from either of you Negan opened his mouth to speak. “I didn’t only build up a wall for you because i thought you’d take my place. There was something about you that i noticed right away.” He paused. His body turned to face you more directly. “I saw how brave you were, how you could defend yourself, and i wanted you in my team. But when i got you.. I messed up. I’d have been better to you if I didn’t think the way I did, or feel the way I do.” He seemed like he wanted to say something specific but he couldn’t.

You rubbed at his hand. “Negan, take your time. We’ve got plenty..” This small remark made you both smile softly. Negan just nodded.

His eyes closed for a moment before he looked directly into your eyes. “After my late wife died, i thought i wouldn’t like anyone. I was wrong.” Negans voice was quiet but firm, whatever he was getting at meant something. The fact that he mentioned the one person he swore to never mention.. made this even more emotional for the both of you. “What i’m trying to get at here y/n… is that I think I might like you. And that’s why I wanted to act like I hate you, to hide the fact I fell for someone after Lucille.” His eyes never left yours, so yours didn’t leave his.

You stared at eachother for moments until you felt your cheeks heating up. How did you feel about Negan? He was rude but you always like him.. “Negan.. I can’t say I like you yet. But i’m willing to try.” Your reply made Negan smile, and go to hug you. As you were hugging for what felt like forever you heard tricks outside. Which made Negan hide you behind him as he looked out the window. It was the familiar trucks, The saviors were back.

Getting back to The Snactaury, you and Negan got to finally explore what was talked about when alone in that house together.

TAG LIST!

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janiehellion · 7 months ago

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞 ⋮ 𝔑𝔢𝔤𝔞𝔫 𝔖𝔪𝔦𝔱𝔥

𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: He's everything you should fear, yet somehow everything you crave. One night. One decision. And no turning back.

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: Age Gap ⋮ Loss Of Virginity ⋮ Smut ⋮ Language ⋮ Angst ⋮ Cunnilingus ⋮ Unprotected Sex

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 6.975 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Virgin Fem!Reader

𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝑩𝒚: @severesandwichparadise

𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ⋮ 𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑮𝒖𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔

You hadn’t seen him before, not like this. The way he walked into Alexandria, like he owned the place with that grin that made you gulp in a way you hated to admit. Negan. The man who’d haunted your nightmares, the man who had killed Glenn, Abraham—friends who mattered. You had heard of it, of course. Everyone had—the infamous Negan—the man who controlled the Saviors.

And he didn’t come alone. Of course, he didn’t. His Saviors stood right behind him, all armed and ready to kill whenever he told them to.

Rick was already waiting near the gate of Alexandria, looking more than just nervous while trying to act like he wasn’t following Negan’s orders. But you could see it in his eyes—the way his body was tense like he was trying to remember how to breathe around this man who had broken him several times by now.

And that was it. The first time you laid eyes on Negan.

He went over to Rick immediately while the rest of the group watched silently, and you couldn’t help but watch too, unable to look away.

"Negan," Rick greeted, in a way like he was trying to hold on to some dignity. "What do you want this time?"

"Oh, Rick, Rick, Rick," Negan said, clicking his tongue. "Always so goddamn polite." He let out a laugh, stepping toward him. "I’m here for my shit, as usual. You know how it goes. Supplies, gas, and food. Everything you can manage. And you sure as shit can manage that, right?"

Negan looked around then, his eyes looking over the rest of the group. He seemed amused as he watched the faces, and when he caught your eye, you felt it. That feeling. That weird moment where it felt like the entire community was watching. It was short, but it was enough to make your heart race.

And then he was back to Rick, giving him a pat on the shoulder that made him visibly flinch.

"You’ve done well, Rick," Negan said as if Rick were some dog that had finally learned to roll over. "Now, if you’ve got any more of my stuff, we can end this real quick, and I’ll be on my way. You sure as shit don’t mind a little bonus, do you?"

You hated the way Rick flinched and how he didn’t say anything. He just nodded.

Then Negan’s eyes were back on you, and this time he didn’t look away, while that grin of his turned into something a little less mocking and a little more… calculating. There was something about the way he looked at you—like he was trying to figure you out, or maybe just taking his time with the show.

He straightened up fast, pushing Rick aside as he moved closer to you. "What’s your name, sweetheart?"

"None of your damn business," you shot back, unable to stop the hate in your voice.

Negan raised an eyebrow, amused. "So aggressive… I like that. But you’re still not going to tell me, young lady?"

You didn’t answer.

With a final smirk, Negan turned his attention back to Rick, shaking his head as he moved on to collect his supplies.

"Now, Rick, I’m going to need some more supplies, or we’re going to have a problem. And you don’t want that."

You stood there, watching. And it wasn’t just Negan’s words that stuck with you—it was the way he had looked at you. That quick second where you felt something. Something dangerous.

Negan Smith sure as hell was trouble—the kind you didn’t need, but the kind of trouble you wanted to know more about.

Over the next few weeks, you couldn’t avoid him. No matter how hard you tried to stick to your routine or slip away from Alexandria, Negan always seemed to cross your path.

It started small—little things, like looking into his eyes again. It wasn’t just the way he looked back at you; it was the way he began to size you up—like he knew you inside out. He wasn’t just playing with you—at least not in the way you thought. He seemed interested.

You’d be working with the others, repairing gear, or doing your usual chores, and he’d just appear, like some bad dream, some nightmare that wouldn’t leave.

"Well, well, look who it is," he’d said, standing a little too close. "What’s it like, huh? Living in this boring-ass little town?"

"Don’t you have something else to do, Negan?" You didn’t even try to hide the annoyance and the irritation in your voice. But you hated how easily he made your heart race, how every word out of his mouth felt like a game, one that you weren’t sure you wanted to play.

"Oh, I do have something to do," he said, smirking at you. "But I can always make time for you." He leaned in, just enough to make you feel trapped.

You stiffened, swallowing back the urge to snap at him and tell him to go fuck himself. But before you could say anything, one of the Saviors—Simon, you thought—approached.

"Negan," Simon called out. "We’ve got the supplies loaded. We're ready to go!"

Negan looked over his shoulder, nodding slowly. "Alright." Then, with a wink, he'd turned back to you and said, "I’ll catch you later, sweetheart."

The next few times he showed up were no different. You’d be working or standing around with some of the others, and you’d feel his eyes on you, always there—always on you. Every time you caught him, it was as if he was trying to break you open, piece by piece.

And he wasn’t afraid to cross the line. Not once.

"Hey, doll," Negan called out one afternoon when you were walking toward his truck, your arms full of supplies. "You know, Rick’s got himself a real tough girl on his hands. Bet he doesn’t know how to handle someone like you. Or does he handle you quite well?"

You could feel the heat in your face, your cheeks turning red just a little. You knew what he was doing—trying to get under your skin, trying to make you react. But the more he did it, the more you found yourself struggling to hide the fact that you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Even when you told yourself to stay cool and not let him get to you, it was somehow impossible.

"Keep it up, Negan," you shot back. "I’m not impressed. Try harder."

Negan’s grin only widened. "Oh, but I sure as hell think you are. Why, do you like it hard?"

But before you could answer him, a voice cut you off.

"Hey!" Rick shouted from a few feet away. "Leave her alone!"

Negan looked at him, laughing out loud. "Oh, Rick, Rick, Rick," he said, shaking his head, still eyeing you. "Don’t worry, your little girl here can take it. And she likes it hard. I can tell."

Rick stepped forward, but Simon and the other Saviors moved in quickly, creating a barrier between the both of them. It was a warning to everyone: stay in your place.

"Fuck off, Negan," you whispered, trying to push past him, but he didn't let you.

He stepped in front of you, blocking your path. "Oh, I will. But first, tell me something, doll," he said, leaning in close. "How about you stop pretending you don’t like the attention?"

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Because the truth—that truth—was something you didn’t want to admit.

Not yet.

You didn’t have time to process it. Rick was already pulling you aside, his face looking angry.

"Listen," he growled, gripping your arm a little too tightly, which made you wince. "You need to keep your fucking distance from him. I’ve warned you about Negan, about the Saviors. Told you what they did, what he did."

"I can handle myself just fine," you snapped back, ripping your arm free from his grip.

Rick’s eyes narrowed. "You’re not seeing things clearly. He’s a monster. Don’t let him get in your head, alright?"

You scoffed, shaking your head. "I’m not some helpless little girl, Rick. I might still be young in your eyes, but you don’t need to babysit me. I'm not a damn child! Not anymore!"

"You think I’m babysitting you?" Rick hissed. "I’m trying to keep you safe, trying to keep all of us safe. You can’t fuck around with him, and you sure as hell can’t challenge him like that in front of the rest of the Saviors. Do you know what you’re doing? It’s dangerous."

Dangerous? The thought was gnawing at you. You hadn’t challenged Negan—at least, you didn’t think you had.

The days passed again after Negan’s last visit, and you found yourself constantly wondering when he’d show up again, what he’d say, and what he’d do. You told yourself you hated him—what he represented, the way he treated Rick and the others in your group—but the truth was you couldn’t deny that he made you feel something.

Then it happened again. Negan rolled into Alexandria, and you were standing off to the side, as usual, trying to stay out of his way, but your eyes couldn’t help but follow him.

Then, everything went to shit.

Carl soon was on his knees, Lucille raised high above his head. The sudden sound of the bat against the ground sent a shiver down your spine. Rick was scared, just like the others—defeated, sobbing, begging.

"Do you see what happens when you don’t follow the damn rules, Rick?" Negan's voice was cold. "Your little boy here gets a taste of what happens when his Daddy doesn’t play nice and doesn't give me what is mine."

You clenched your fists, your body trembling. Rick was a wreck, barely holding it together as he watched his son kneel in front of Negan like a lamb ready for slaughter.

"Please," Rick whispered as he tried to reason, "just… just let him go. I’ll do anything. Just don’t kill him! I swear, there must've been a misunderstanding while loading up the supplies the last time! We gave you everything we could! I promise!"

"Excuses�� excuses. Bullshit. I warned you to not fuck with me. Do not make me tell you twice, Rick. You know I’m going to do it if you don’t get me what I want. Now, what’s it going to be? I could end this little bastard right here, right now."

Rick’s face was pale, his eyes all red and swollen, and Negan smiled, loving every second of it. "You’ll do anything, huh? Well, I’ve got an idea. Now, you see, I can’t kill this little piece of shit—not yet. That’d be too easy. But I could take something else from you. I’ll let him go… but I need her."

Everything inside you froze as he pointed Lucille straight at you.

But you didn’t hesitate, not because you wanted to go with him, but because you knew—if you didn’t—Carl was dead.

"Fine. Take me." It somehow was the hardest thing you’d ever said. You hated that you had to do it, but for Carl’s life, for Rick’s sake, and everyone else, there was no other choice.

Rick's words died in his throat as he tried to keep it together. "No, no, no, no, you don’t have to—"

"I do," you interrupted, stepping forward. You wouldn’t let the Saviors take Carl’s life. "I’ll go with him."

Negan’s grin widened as he nodded, and without another word, he pulled you toward him and he began leading you to the truck. You could hear Rick’s desperate voice calling after you, but it didn’t matter anymore. This was happening.

The ride to the Sanctuary felt endless. Your mind was spinning with a dozen thoughts, none of them making sense. Once you got inside the Sanctuary, the Saviors separated you from the rest of Negan’s people, and you were brought to a small, actually cozy room.

You just stood there, trying to gather your thoughts. You couldn’t look at him—Negan—who had just played with a life like a prize.

Meanwhile, he was leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. "This is one hell of a nice room, huh? I thought you’d appreciate it. After all, you’re a guest now."

"I’m not your fucking guest," you snapped, finally looking at him, unable to keep the anger at bay. "You think this is some kind of joke? You’re the reason I’m here! You’re the one that made me choose between Carl’s life and my fucking dignity!"

Negan didn’t flinch. He just stared at you. "No, no. You’re here because you made the right choice. You chose life. You chose Carl’s life. And that’s what I like about you."

You stepped forward, fists clenched, heart racing in your chest. "You’re a monster. And you—you just walk around like you own every single person that crosses your way like you have the right to decide who lives and who dies!"

Negan pushed himself off the doorframe. "You think I like doing that?" His voice was colder now, but still, he seemed strangely calm. "You think I enjoy seeing my people get hurt? To watch my people die? No. I do what I gotta do. And what I did? Hell, ask Ricky-boy about the real reason why I… attacked. This world doesn’t give a damn about feelings, doll. It’s survival."

"It’s not survival to make people suffer, Negan. It’s not."

There was a pause, a long one, where Negan looked at you again, his jaw tightening as though he were processing something.

And then, before you could say another word, his lips were on yours, pressing against you and leaving you breathless. You froze, shocked, but his kiss wasn’t hard or punishing like everything else about him—it was tender, almost gentle, even though you could feel the force of it.

When he pulled back, he let out a soft sigh and turned, walking toward the door again. "You’re still not ready for the real world as it is now, even though you've survived it since the beginning," he said, more to himself than you. "But I think you will be."

Soon enough, it again had been a few days since you were brought to the Sanctuary, and each day felt like an eternity. The walls seemed to close in, and inside of them were shadows of people who whispered their secrets when they were alone.

You had the room to yourself, which you hated and appreciated at the same time. At least you weren’t forced to be together with the rest of the Saviors—most of whom still looked at you like you were some sort of prize to be claimed.

Negan had kept his distance after that kiss, which left you feeling like you were constantly on the edge of something threatening. You felt how your body betrayed you, how every time you heard his voice or saw his grin, something inside you changed. It was fucked up, and you knew it.

You were pacing in your room one late evening, trying to get your mind off the curiosity and disgust you felt when you heard a quick knock at your door. Quiet, but loud enough for you to notice. You opened it cautiously, only to see Dwight standing there.

"Hey," he said quietly, almost a little too nervous. "I… uh, just wanted to thank you."

You blinked at him, confused. "Thank me for what? What are you talking about?"

"For doing what you did. For agreeing to stay here. For… for keeping Negan off our backs."

You still didn’t know what he was talking about. "What the hell are you thanking me for, Dwight?" You asked, narrowing your eyes in suspicion.

He let out a slow breath, his eyes looking down to the floor. "For the women," he whispered. "Negan’s been leaving them alone ever since you… Well, ever since you caught his interest, I'd say."

You’d been hearing rumors of the women, those who lived in the Sanctuary with Negan as his wives, but you hadn’t understood how deep it went. "What do you mean… leaving them alone?"

Dwight’s eyes met yours again. "The women… his wives," he said. "He hasn’t touched any of them since he saw you."

Your mind struggled to process it. "You’re telling me there’s a bunch of women just waiting around for him?"

"It’s not like that. Not anymore. He used to call on them whenever he wanted to—" He continued, but trailed off. "When he saw you, he stopped. He hasn’t touched any of them since, and I… we just wanted to thank you for that."

You were quiet for a long moment, his words sinking in. Your mind wandered to those women. It wasn’t disgust you felt—it was a strange kind of curiosity, the kind of curiosity you couldn’t ignore. He hadn’t touched them, but why? What did that mean for you? What was it about you that made him stop?

But you didn’t say any of that to Dwight. You just stood there and didn’t ask him about the women or what they’d gone through.

Instead, you looked at him and said quietly, "You don’t need to thank me."

Dwight stared at you, and then he finally nodded. "Well, I do. And I’m not blind, and I know that, as fucked up as this place is, it’s better for them. Better for her… Even if you don’t want to hear it."

Then, without another word, he turned and walked away, disappearing into the Sanctuary. You shut the door slowly, your mind racing. You couldn’t get the thought of the women out of your head. And you sure as hell couldn’t stop wondering what would happen to you now that you were here.

In this place, with him.

You didn’t know. But the question—oh, it burned itself into your mind.

It was confusing. On one hand, you knew Negan was a monster. And yet, here you were. You were drawn to him, to the dangerous pull he had over you.

You tried to push it all away; you tried to tell yourself you were just looking for a way to survive. You weren’t one of those women. You wouldn’t be. He wasn’t going to control you like that.

But still, there was that pull. The way his eyes watched you when he thought no one else was looking, the way his voice changed when he spoke near you.

You were now sitting on your bed, head spinning, when you heard the familiar footsteps outside your door. You didn’t have to look to know it was him. That presence—his presence—it was unmistakable.

He knocked once, hard and loud, before pushing the door open, his grin already in place.

"Well, well," he said. "I see you’ve been keeping yourself busy by talking to Dwight."

You didn’t speak right away; your eyes were staring at him, fighting the need to look down. "I’m not interested in small talk, Negan, and not in an interrogation either," you shot back.

"Of course you’re not." He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, eyeing you like he was taking inventory. "You know, you can talk to me in a normal way, right? My attention's all on you right now, doll, but your attention isn't on me."

You scoffed, trying to hide the blush on your face. "Normal? Right. Why don't you go and beg for attention elsewhere?"

"Because I don’t beg."

Negan didn’t seem to care about any response. Slowly, he moved into the room, stepping closer, making you instinctively slide back on your bed, though there was no escape, so you stood up, standing in front of him.

"You know," he said quietly, now looking down at you. "I’ve been thinking about you. A lot."

You swallowed hard, your throat dry, unable to find the words to answer. He was so close now… You could smell him—sweat, leather—and something else you couldn’t quite place.

"I’m not gonna lie to you," he continued. "I don’t wanna fuck this up."

"And I don’t want you to want me," you said before you could stop yourself.

He laughed in response as if he enjoyed seeing you stumble over your own words. "Then why the fuck are you standing so goddamn fucking close to me, huh?"

You didn’t have an answer for that.

You wanted him, but you were scared. Scared of the person he was. Scared of being another name on his list. But you couldn’t deny it. Your body, your mind—they craved him. It was like a hunger you couldn’t ignore.

"Maybe that’s why I’m here," you whispered, looking up at him. "Maybe I’m only curious."

"Curious, huh?" His fingers moved slowly up your arm. "Curious about what, exactly?"

You took a shaky breath, fighting the urge to close the space between the two of you. "About what it’d be like."

His smile disappeared, and for a moment, it seemed like he was holding his breath. Then, without a second thought, he stepped back. "I think that’s a conversation for another time."

You didn’t even think; the words just came out. "What is this even to you?" You growled, watching his smirk come back as he leaned against the wall with that irritating look of his. "So what if I haven't… I mean, since the world ended, I haven’t been with anyone. I mean, before it all went down neither, but… Just… Not once, okay. But, I mean—"

That caught his attention, though he tried to hide it. He raised an eyebrow, and for once, he looked like he might take you seriously.

"Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me," he started, "that in all this time, you haven’t felt the need to… fuck?"

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as you shot back, "Why do you even care, Negan? You've got your… supply of it at all times, don't you?" The words came out more bitter than you’d meant, but you were fed up.

Negan blinked several times, looking thrown off. But it only lasted a second, though this time his usual grin looked more like a mask. "Well, that’s the damn thing, doll. Haven’t been with any of them, not in a while. Guess I had my eye on something else."

"While I don’t know what I want," you suddenly whispered. "I don’t even know if I should want this—with you. I feel horrible. Fucking horrible."

One of his hands came up, fingers brushing along your jaw and down your neck. "Shit, I get it," he said. "But this isn’t some game, alright? You want this? I’m going to give it to you. But if you’re not all in, you better tell me right fucking now."

"Yes, I… I'm sure."

He watched you carefully. "You sure, sweetheart? Not just saying it 'cause you think it’s what I wanna hear?"

"No, I’m sure."

"Alright," he mumbled. "Then we do this slowly. No rushing, no stupid bullshit."

You finally leaned forward, your lips pressing against his in a kiss that was soft at first, hesitant. But then his arms wrapped around you, and the kiss turned rougher as he pulled you closer, hands now moving down your back, pulling you against him while kicking the door of your room shut.

"Hell," he breathed against your lips, "didn’t realize you’d be this damn sweet."

His fingers moved to the hem of your shirt as he broke the kiss. "Last chance to change your mind, darling," he whispered, though, with a bit of restraint. But you shook your head, pulling him closer again, your teeth biting his neck, feeling the shiver that went through him.

Negan let out a growl, and his hands moved quickly under your shirt. "Been wanting to touch you like this for some time now."

You could see him smile—that provocative, arrogant grin that only made you want him more. His hands soon moved to your pants and undid them teasingly, drawing it out until you were almost trembling.

He took his time, his knuckles pressing against your hips as he slid the waistband of your pants down, along with your panties. You swallowed hard, but it wasn’t from fear. It was pure lust—the way he made you feel like the most important thing in the world just by looking at you.

"Relax," he whispered, "I’m not in any damn hurry."

You closed your eyes, letting yourself fall into the moment, letting yourself get lost in the touch of his hands, his lips, and the way he held you like you were something precious, something worth cherishing. You’d expected roughness, maybe even cruelty, but this—this was different.

"You… you’re being so… gentle."

Negan froze. "Of course I am. Why? This isn’t just about me, you know. I want this to feel good for us—for you. Just trust me," he mumbled as he pulled your shirt over your head and undid your bra. "Damn, look at you…"

Heat rushed to your face, and you ducked your head, only for him to gently lift your chin. "Don’t hide from me," he said softly. "Let me see you, all of you."

Negan's hands moved to your tits, his fingers brushing over your nipples until they hardened under his touch, before he leaned down, his mouth following where his hands had been. "Now, just tell me if anything is too much, alright?"

You nodded breathlessly, and he rewarded you with his lips sucking on your nipple, his hand quickly finding its way between your thighs, fingers moving over your clit, rubbing softly until your hips bucked, wanting more.

Somehow, you managed to push one of your hands down between you both, squeezing his cock through his pants. He let out a groan, but you felt clumsy, even unsure, and fumbling a bit as you tried to stroke him the way you thought he’d like.

He laughed a little, grabbing your hand with his own. "Slow down, sweetheart," he said, grinning as he helped you to open up his pants and let them fall with his boxers. "Take your damn time."

But even though you felt uncertain, Negan's reaction told you that you were doing something right, his breathing stopping from time to time and his hands grabbing you harder as you continued. His groan was almost a growl as he finally stepped out of his pants, quickly getting rid of his shirt before pulling you up and pushing you down onto your bed.

"Think you’re ready for this? Might hurt a little, but that's nothing to worry about. Just tell me if you feel uncomfortable, okay?"

You nodded, your heart racing as he lined himself up with your pussy, one hand steadying you while the other was pushing his cock inside you.

The stretch was intense, your body trying to adjust to him, and he paused every inch or so, letting you get used to the feel of his cock, making sure you weren’t in any pain. As he pushed further, his other hand found yours, both your fingers intertwining to keep you from getting lost in the slightly uncomfortable pressure at first.

"You’re alright, sweetheart. Just breathe," he mumbled, kissing your cheek, waiting until you gave him a signal to keep going.

Negan’s forehead rested against yours as he pushed further inside. "You’re doing so well for me. So damn good."

Each inch he gave you felt thicker, the pressure hard but not painful. "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I’m good."

"That's a good girl," he whispered. "Let me know if it’s too much, and I’ll stop. I mean it."

Finally, he was fully inside, filling you up in a way that felt overwhelming—almost too much.

But Negan didn’t move right away. He stayed there, deep inside you, as you both caught your breath. His free hand moved down, sliding up your thigh as if to calm you. "You’re taking me so damn good, doll. Feels like you were made for me."

You tightened your legs around his hips, clinging to him as if letting go would somehow destroy the magic of the moment.

"How’s that feel, huh?" he asked as he started to move. "Don’t hold back, baby. I wanna hear you. Bet it feels so fucking good."

Between moans, your free hand found his shoulder, nails scratching his skin as you held on. You could feel how he was holding himself back from losing control, but now and then, a loud groan slipped out, followed by a deeper and quicker thrust.

You swallowed hard, your voice trembling. "It’s—oh fuck—it’s so good, Negan!"

That was all he wanted to hear from you. "Fuck, you’re so tight," he growled, starting to rub slow circles over your clit.

And the feeling of his cock, the fullness, was maddening, each faster thrust of him making you hold harder onto him.

Tears started to appear in your eyes, but not from pain. Negan noticed immediately as he untangled his hand from yours and cupped your cheek. "Hey, hey… You okay? Tell me if this is too much."

You shook your head quickly, blinking back the tears. "It’s not that—it’s just… I didn’t know it could feel like this."

"But you deserve this," he said quietly. "Deserve to be treated right. To be fucked right."

And it didn't take long until a new, even stranger pressure built itself inside you—something new but irresistible like you were on the edge of something intense, or maybe even embarrassing, but you couldn’t reach it, and he didn't let you.

You rolled your hips against him, searching for more—the need for something harder, something faster. Both your hands now gripped his shoulders tightly while you whimpered in frustration.

"Negan… more," you begged with urgency, only to make him stop.

He pulled back just enough to look at you. "Oh, you want more, huh?" He asked, teasing you.

You nodded, arching your back to meet his next thrust. "Please," you gasped, your thighs tightening around his hips as you tried to pull him deeper.

"Easy, sweetheart," he said, his hands gripping your hips firmly, pushing you back down. "You’ll get what you need, but you’re gonna take it slow."

He thrust into you again, painfully slow, his cock pushing against your sensitive spot inside you. You tried again to lift your hips, but his grip tightened, holding you still and him thrusting harder.

"You feel that?" He growled. "How good I make you feel when you let me take my time?"

"Negan, I think… I think I need to… pee." You could barely get the words out, too caught up in the feeling and your sudden shame, until you felt like you might burst.

"You think you need to piss? Nah, that’s just me fuckin’ you so goddamn good."

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, but the overwhelming feeling between your legs pushed it away.

"Let it go, baby. Let me make you lose it." As if on cue, he thrust faster, burying himself in your pussy just right, over and over again, until your whole body stiffened. "That’s it," Negan groaned, watching with fascination. "Fucking perfect."

Suddenly, without warning, your pussy clenched tightly around his cock as you came, your entire body trembling.

"Oh… yes, yes, yes!" You moaned out loud, your nails scratching down his whole back and grabbing his ass, trying to push him deeper again. "That feels so fucking good! Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't—"

Negan ate your moans and whimpers up like a man starved. "Goddamn, baby, next time you're gonna be squirting all over me," he groaned, not slowing down. "Could feel you coming like this all the time."

It was like everything went black, your orgasm shooting so intensely through you in a way that left you breathless, with you clinging so tightly to him as your body shuddered, moaning his name in pure need.

Watching you come so hard around him had done something to Negan, something he wasn’t expecting so fast. That look on your face, the way your body was shaking, the way you’d gasped his name—hell, he wanted to keep that image burned into his mind forever.

He slowed his movements just enough to not come too soon. His eyes never left your face, watching you ride out your orgasm, writhing against him and wanting more, given that blissed-out expression on your face. He was right there, on the edge himself, and for another moment, he let himself get lost in the way you squirmed, all desperate, a sight simply too good for words.

Just before Negan came, he quickly pulled out, but your hand grabbed his wrist. "Negan, please," you begged, your thighs trembling as you reached for him. "I want you to come inside me."

He froze, staring down at you in disbelief. "Fuck, doll," he said, his hand stroking his cock as he positioned himself over you. "Believe me, I sure as hell would."

"Then do it," you demanded as your hips moved toward him, trying to push him back inside.

But Negan shook his head, his grin returning as he leaned down, his lips kissing yours. "Not gonna happen. Can’t let you get knocked up… just yet."

He was squeezing his cock and pumping a few more strokes until he finally exploded, his cum shooting all over your stomach and tits. It was everything he loved about moments like this. The sight of you, the feeling of his cock pulsing in his hand and marking you with his load… everything.

"Shit... You know, that might just be my new favorite view," he soon smirked, letting out a shaky laugh.

You blushed, suddenly very aware of his cum all over you and the ache that you still felt between your legs.

You were sprawled out on the bed, your body still trembling, your legs twitching slightly as if they couldn’t handle the sudden emptiness.

"Fuckin’ hell," he continued, as he now knelt at the edge of the bed, his hands spreading your thighs apart again. "Look at this, sweetheart. Look at how bad your pussy still wants me."

Before you could process what was happening, he leaned in, his tongue licking over your oversensitive clit. You screamed, and Negan’s strong hands pinned you down as his mouth tasted you, his tongue teasing you like he had all the time in the world.

"Negan—fuck, it’s too much," you whined, trying to squirm away, but his grip tightened.

"Nah, sweetheart," he growled, pulling back just long enough to smirk up at you. "You can take it."

His tongue moved lower, teasing your folds, and when he finally slid it inside, you let out a loud cry. He groaned against you as he took his time tasting you and eating you out, his nose bumping against your clit.

It didn’t take long before you were coming again as you sobbed his name, your fingers tangling in his hair to pull him closer even as your body begged for a break.

When he finally pulled away, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked at you. "Hell, I think you’re my new favorite meal. You look like a goddamn masterpiece."

You groaned, half-embarrassed, half-needy, and gave him a weak push on the chest with one leg. "Well, don’t just sit there and stare."

"Bossy already, huh?" He laughed, shaking his head as he stood up. He yanked open one of the drawers, rummaging through until he found an old rag.

"Hold still, sweetheart," he said, kneeling back over you and wiping away the cum. "Can’t have you goin’ around lookin’ like that. Might make people think I’ve got myself a favorite," he winked, his grin looking just a tiny bit arrogant.

But as he leaned over you, moving the rag over tits and cleaning them, his thumb brushed over one of your nipples, and you let out a soft moan.

Negan just smiled. "Guess I did a damn good job."

Before you could respond, his lips sucked on the same nipple he’d just touched. He sucked gently, his tongue switching from one to the other, squeezing and massaging your tits.

"Can’t help myself, darling. These tits deserve some extra love."

Once he was done, he tossed the rag aside, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, his mouth all tender against your skin.

"You did so good. Real damn good,” he whispered like he wanted you to feel every word as he moved next to you again, putting an arm around you and pulling you close against him.

You let out a sigh, the exhaustion quickly starting to catch up to you as you cuddled up to him, feeling safe, even here, even with him. "I… didn't bleed down there, right? Or did I?"

"No, you didn't; don't worry. Not every woman does. But don’t you go getting used to this," he teased. "Next time, I’ll just have to make sure I don’t leave you so damn worn out. Can’t have you fallin’ asleep on me every time."

You mumbled something he couldn't make out, half asleep already, but he just held you tighter.

"Alright, alright, get some sleep then, sweetheart," he whispered, his hand brushing through your hair. "I’ll be right here, don’t you worry. Just sleep. That was your first time, after all."

And you did, soon drifting off, strangely feeling safer than you had in a long time, to the sound of his heartbeat that stayed with you even as you slipped into sleep.

But the next morning slammed into you like a brick to the face. Your eyes blinked open to the sight of Negan’s chest and the scratch of his beard against you. The rest of the day before came back quick—too quick—every moment of his hands on your body, his mouth… him so deep inside of you.

You flinched away, heart racing as you pushed yourself out and away from under his arm. Every bit of you wanted to scream with shame and anger. This was Negan—the man who’d terrorized everyone you cared about, and here you were with him, completely naked.

You grabbed the first thing you could reach—a glass on the nightstand—and threw it at the wall. A pillow went flying, then a chair.

You saw him waking up, but you couldn’t stop. It was a need—this craving to let it all out. That man had you wrapped around his finger without you even realizing it—and now you wanted out. It was impossible, but right now, nothing was making sense; nothing felt real. And you were scared.

"Hey, hey, calm the hell down, would you?" Negan’s voice came from behind you. You ignored him, anger rising again as you grabbed for anything else you could throw, maybe even at him.

"Get away from me!" You snapped, turning to look at him, fists clenched at your sides. "I can't—you're… This is all so fucked, Negan! Do you even get that?" You shoved him back, but he grabbed your wrists tightly.

"Oh, I get it, alright," he smirked, his grin widening as he held your wrists. "Seems like someone’s a little sore, huh? Confused, even?"

"Let go of me!" You struggled, trying to move away, but he didn’t let go. The more you fought, the tighter he grabbed, his eyes watching you with amusement.

"Think I’m going to let you throw shit around and just walk away?" He asked, pulling you closer.

"Negan, let me go!" You shouted again, your voice cracking as he turned you around, holding you close against his chest from behind, both of his arms wrapping around your body. You tried to fight, legs kicking, elbows shoving, but it was no use.

"Keep fighting, doll. You’re just making this more fun."

He pressed his mouth against your neck, kissing and biting down just enough to make you moan for him. It only made you angrier and more desperate to get away, but he held on to keep you exactly where he wanted.

"Why are you doing this?" You hissed, still struggling, but your strength was fading. "What do you want from me?"

"What do I want?" He loosened his hold just enough to spin you around to face him again, one hand keeping you close, the other tilting up your chin softly. "Shit, maybe I just like the way how sexy you look when you’re all riled up and pissed."

Adrenaline was still rushing through you, but now it was also confusion—and a feeling you could hardly even name. But you knew better. You just didn't want to acknowledge it.

And as Negan finally let go of you, letting you step back, neither of you spoke. You couldn't look at him as he took his sweet time reaching for his clothes across the floor. He didn’t seem the slightest bit worried by your outburst, your fury, or any of it. He just slid on his pants, putting on his shirt, and the leather jacket slung over one shoulder as he walked back to you.

And he stopped right in front of you, tilting his head with a smirk that now seemed almost cruel like he knew exactly what you were going through.

"You see, there’s a certain fine line, baby," he whispered, his voice sounding like gravel against silk. He leaned in close, his breath touching your ear. "Between everything we thought we hated… and everything we can’t seem to stop craving."

Then, just as casually as he’d fucked you, he moved his lips to yours, teasing you with a kiss and watching your reaction closely before pulling back, letting you stand there while he grabbed Lucille from the ground.

Negan wasn't looking back at you as he stepped out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts—and the fine line he’d just cut straight through you.

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