#neil gaiman you are such a fucking tease

[wellhalesbells]

Best of 2024 - Q1(ish)

✨✨ I forgot I told myself I was going to start doing this this year. A few people I follow do kind of a 'best of' thing and since I forget everything that happens almost immediately I thought: hey, that's a good idea for you, you should do that. So here I am with it sorta on time-ish \o/ ✨✨

Books

The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden. I tend to go into books with very little to no idea of what they're about (on purpose) so absolutely everything here was a surprise in the very best way. If I could've directed it, I would've directed it in exactly this way!

Voyage of the Damned, Frances White. This was such a lovely surprise?? I'm really enjoying these cross-genre books and this has to be the one that absolutely nailed both the best. It's a fantasy murder mystery and both are very involved - the world-building is excellent and the murder mystery is fun and terrifying in the best way!

Remarkably Bright Creatures, Shelby Van Pelt. I love books that like people, that prize connection, and that want to build community. Basically books that remind me that people are generally good and willing to try and that's this! Plus: octopus!

Empire of the Damned, Jay Kristoff. Empire of the Vampire was one of my favorite reads in 2022 (when I read it) and the sequel definitely lived up to its predecessor. The story is so compelling and the characters are so impossible not to fall in love with. Happily, this did not suffer from middle book syndrome: so much happened and so much moved forward.

Dinner on Monster Island, Tania de Rozario. I took this out at the library on a whim - it was available and it had a cool cover so I was in. I learned so much. I knew next to nothing about Singapore so everything to do with that blew my mind and Tania de Rozario's voice is wonderful, not to mention she connects so much of her life and surroundings to horror movies and that is a touchstone that I have in spades.

I should also special mention Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones, which I adored.... though it did completely ruin the movie for me (which I had also never seen and watched a few days later), haha. Sophie is the catalyst for absolutely every single thing that happens in the book and Howl is useless and dramatic without her and to see her be so very ineffectual in the film (and have things that happened because of her be taken away from her) while Howl was so powerful was like.... wha??? It was beautiful animation but... yeah. And Stardust by Neil Gaiman, which was so enjoyable! It has that irreverent, this-might-as-well happen humor that I love in fantasies.

Comics/Mangas/Manhwas/Etc.

On of Off, Vols. 1-3, by A1. Um. Can I just say that I love when one of the characters in a queer couple is a big huge dude? I don't know, a few years ago a switch got flipped in my head and size difference is now VERY MUCH A THING for me. I don't really want a small dude, I just want a big huge dude and a normal-sized man. (Or a big huge woman and a normal-sized woman - see Cosmoknights, which.... I'm realizing now probably had something to do with the switch and its aforementioned flippiness) Voila! I also like when the big huge dude is like: I'm not really that into it and then falls hardcore in love and has a dramatic: "What in the actual fuck just happened?" moment. This and The Dangerous Convenience Store have that exact dynamic and I cannot stress enough I could read it 100,000 more times and not get tired of it.

Saga, Volume 11, by Brian K. Vaughan. Just bring back Marko. Like, just do it. Every time it teases me with it, I want it more. Bring him back, gimme, I want. I remain in love with this series but, crap, does it just want to rip my heart out every chance it gets.

The Other World's Books Depend on the Bean Counter, Volume 4, Kazuki Irodori. This is my shit. It's a fantasy world that a completely ordinary corporate worker is sucked into and he ends up entirely reorganizing the structure of their accounting department so it a) actually functions and b) is accountable (ha). However, he has no resistance to "magicules" and the best way to acclimate him to all the magic that constantly surrounds him is for him to have sex with a very attractive soldier. Like, that's just brilliant writing is what that is, no notes. I love it, it wins all the things. (It's based on a novel that they only just began releasing in English and the comic is the superior version for me at this moment in time.)

Cherry Magic!, Vols. 9-10, by Yuu Toyota. I cannot believe I'm still so invested despite the fact that the original hook for this manga has disappeared and it's essentially just a very domestic, slice of life story now but it's just so nice to see them both happy and married and together?? So the original plot of this was there's essentially some old wives' tale that if you're a virgin at thirty you get magic powers. Cue Adachi turning thirty and he can suddenly read people's minds when he touches them and finds out through this power that his coworker, Kurosawa, is in love with him. It's a really cute, fun series and I am happy for it to go on forever. (Also, they made an anime out of it this year and it's stupid cute. There is also a live action series that I haven't watched yet.)

Therapy Game Restart, Vols. 1-3, by Meguru Hinohara. So, Minato is pile of endless insecurities in a trenchcoat and Shizuma is his confused but calm partner and it turns out I am really into that? Consistently surprised by how much I am into that but I am, in fact, into that.

Special mention to The Third Ending by Chobom - I really hope this is getting an official printing at some point because I am in love with it and I will buy the fuck out it (the fact that it's behind a digital paywall right now is the only reason this isn't number one). It is so exactly, specifically to my tastes it's ridiculous. So the idea here is Joon confesses his feelings to Yoonseul in high school, when he doesn't know him too well but likes what he sees, and Yoonseul turns him down a little harshly (he was mad at someone else and was a little less careful with his words than he would've been otherwise). Yoonseul starts having bad days on nights when he dreams of that memory and the two meet again and start hanging out so Yoonseul can assuage his conscience. They become really close friends and they end up drunkenly kissing, Yoonseul knows it's a mistake and Joon overhears him talking about it to a friend and how much he regrets it. Joon confesses his feelings again and Yoonseul, again, turns him down because he can't imagine anything physical happening between them. That should be the end of it. Except, very slowly, Yoonseul realizes he is completely in love with Joon and he's fucked this thing up to high heaven. Cue my absolute FAVORITEST dynamic - the chasee becoming the chaser.

TV

Fisk (s1-2), Netflix. This is an Australian comedy about probate lawyers and if you're on the fence about it watch the episode with the Popovitches (season 1, episode 3). I very nearly peed my pants.

Only Murders in the Building (s3), Hulu. Okay, I'm a big fan of musicals and it's not a love I indulge very often so when I do watch them, I tend to get way too into them. (Yes, I bought this album immediately.) I adored this season and I adored Howard - making him a series regular was ingenious.

The Righteous Gemstones (s3), Max. This season was so good. This show in general is so freaking good but I really loved this season. This family is so genuinely fucked up but to get to the last episode and have them rise to the occasion and figure out their brand of love was so satisfying. And I do adore that they tried to copy other functional families they saw before realizing that was just never going to work for them.

Mr. Villain's Day Off (s1), Crunchyroll. Okay, I love this manga and the show is so exactly this manga. Like, I've reblogged a ton of shot for shot comparisons so when I say 'same,' I mean 'same.' The entire idea is this monstrous alien bent on destroying the world enshrines his days off with reverence and diligence - he's just a normal guy, obsessed with pandas, who's only evil at work, thank you very much. It's just so silly and weirdly heart-warming?

Girls5Eva (s3), Netflix. There's something about Renee Elise Goldsberry for me that is magnetic. I love everything about her, I love getting to watch her do comedy, I love hearing her sing, I love her character. Also, the singing? I've mentioned how I am weak for the singing, yes?? (Yes, I have these albums too.)

Minx (Starz) was also really, really good but I wish it hadn't been canceled prematurely! It definitely wasn't finished, y'know, and it was so unfortunate to end it with Doug on the wrong side of things - I want to see the resolution, dammit!

Movies

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022). I haven't laughed at a movie like this in a long time. I've watched it twice so far this year; I went home two weeks ago and made my dad watch it with me and tears were streaming down our faces by the end. Pedro Pascal should never not be doing comedy because he was made for it.

Bottoms (2023). This is so exactly my sense of humor? The ridiculousness of this was just *chef's kiss* Also more Ayo Edibiri in everything.

Talk to Me (2022). I had been waiting for this movie to get onto some streaming platform so I could watch it and I think the best compliment I could give it is that I wanted to watch it again the next day. Great horror, great resolution!

John Wick 4. I expected this to feel so long and bloated and yet it didn't at all. I was invested the whole time and I think it helps that I watch action films, like, once every three years so these feel like fun little treats more than anything.

Nate Bargatze: The Tennessee Kid. There's a joke in here that I relate to so hard it's almost embarrassing. Talking about ordering coffee, he goes: "If you could just do whatever you think it is and if it's wrong, I won't even tell you, how about that, I will walk out of here as if that's exactly what I ordered. I will go outside, I will throw it away, and go try again at a different Starbucks." That is exactly how I would handle that and this entire special is filled with that. I giggled so hard.

Also, special mention to Taylor Tomlinson's specials Look at You and Have It All. I love how honest she is on stage and how open she is with her audience. It's rare to have that and I think it feels so special because it is.

See you all again in Q2 (ish, probably, lbr) *salutes*

[excelsi-or]

summoned (pt. 1)

hi everyone! it's been a g e s, but we're back! i've been travelling since about May, and definitely thought editing this story wasn't going to take as long as it did. anywho, this is the demon fic that i teased a while back. kinda different from anything else i've put out before. it's inspired by Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, definitely a book worth reading if you haven't yet. let me know what you all think :)

pairing: lee jihoon (woozi) x fem OC/fem reader

w.c. 2.5k (i'm not sure what i'd classify this as tbh. silly, maybe?)

"You want what?"

"A venti and medium–" The rest of what Jeonghan says gets garbled as he speaks. Not from lack of phone connection, but just because she has no idea what he's going on about.

As she stands in line, her eyes skim over the menu in a vain attempt to find anything similar to what she'd heard Jeonghan say. When she reaches the front of the line, she's still clueless.

So, she tries to sound out the garble in the hopes that this barista can translate.

"Venti and me–I mean, grande, fructi paemoni–nope, pomegranate?"

Before she can see if the man has been able to understand anything she said, she feels all the air sucked out of her lungs. Sound disappears and she thinks she's passed out. When she gasps for air, she looks around to get her bearings.

Time seems to have slowed, not stopped.

Her brow furrows, as she tries to gauge if she's had some sort of early life stroke. On a whim, she turns, about to walk out of the place. But she jumps back at the man dressed in a suit now present in front of her. He has dark hair with an undercut, his hair silky. His skin is fair; his body toned, at least based on the way he fills out the suit. But it's his eyes that catch her attention. They're black, seemingly catching no light.

And then he opens his mouth to speak, and she notices the sharpness of his canines.

Vampire?

"Hello, human. Thank you for summoning me." The man's tone is flat, as if he's tired of giving this speech. "I am not a genie. If you ask anything of me, you must give me your soul in exchange."

The furrow in her brow deepens. "Soul? So, you're not a vampire."

If the blackness of his eyes could get blacker, they do. "I am a demon. You have summoned me."

"You're a what?" She juts her thumb back in the direction of the barista. "I was ordering a drink. I wasn't summoning anything. I was literally about to leave, because I thought I was having a stroke!" She lets out a long breath to reign in her hysteria. "I didn't summon you."

The demon looks confused. When she blinks, there's suddenly a piece of paper in his hand. He recites her name, the time, the date; all of which she agrees is correct. Then the demon recites what she said and she holds a hand up to stop him.

"I did not say–what did you say I said?"

"Veni ad me, fructus daemonium."

"I definitely didn't say that. I said something like venti and medium--grande, fuck, Jeonghan oppa's order. I think he wanted some pomegranate fruit something."

The demon stares in disbelief. "So, you didn't summon me."

"God, no. Wait, can I say 'God' in front of you?" She shakes her head, likely stopping herself from rambling than deciding whether 'God' is appropriate in front of a demon. "Regardless, I didn't summon you. And I don't need to trade my soul for anything."

The demon huffs. His dark eyes go over her once and then to a pocket watch. "Look, I have a--what do you humans call it--a quota of sorts. A quota that needs to be filled this millennium."

"What?"

"Human, I have a quota to fill. A certain number of souls to collect. And it has been a very slow start this millennium." The demon snorts. "Fewer young souls are being given up and He prefers the young ones."

"Sorry, Mr. Demon, I really did not mean to call on you or summon you or whatever." She looks back at the café, where one woman has finally put her cup down and a man has finished pressing the period key on his keyboard. "Have you slowed time for everyone? I don't want to be late for my creative meeting."

The demon tilts his head. "There's nothing you want that you would trade your soul for?"

"No, not really."

"A lover who can't be yours, oodles of money," the demon's perfect brows furrow, blinking a couple times, "fame, eternal youth?"

"I'm… pretty content right now." She swears his eyes turn green; she takes a step back. "Seriously, Mr. Demon, there's nothing I want to trade for my soul."

"Call me…" It's his turn to look around the café for inspiration. His eyes catch sight of the barista's name tag. "Call me Jihoon."

"Uh… you can't just leave?"

The demon's expression deadpans. She thought the expression he'd greeted her with was his deadpan expression. This is a bit more horrifying. "I can't just go back to Him and say 'oh, she dialled the wrong number'."

"I can't just have you following me around," she protests. "Won't you ruin my chances of getting into Heaven or something? Being reborn or whatever happens when you die?"

This makes the demon–Jihoon–chuckle. "If you believe in any of those things, human, then I would assume you assume that the beings or forces that control those things are always watching."

"I… don't know if I understand what that means, but whatever. Mr. Demon, you can't–"

A guttural voice replaces Jihoon's bored tone, and he glows red. "Don't tell me what to do, human."

Another step back.

The two of them stare each other down. She knows that a demon probably doesn't need to blink, and she'll lose whatever stare down this is. And he's told her he won't leave.

"Okay. Fine. Stay. But, Jihoon," she winces at the name, doesn't suit his demon image, "you better be visible to everyone. I'm not going to let you con me into giving you my soul to stop people thinking I'm crazy."

Jihoon blinks in surprise. He hadn't thought of that. "Fine, human. I'll be visible."

"And you can't wear the suit. I only have one friend who wears a suit and he's a lawyer. You're probably not going to go off and finish a law degree."

Jihoon's eyes narrow, and now, she's sure they turn green. "Then, what," he pauses, "do you expect," pause, "me to wear?" This silky voice is more threatening than that demon voice he'd used before.

She tries to brush it off by breaking eye contact. There's a guy in the corner of the café that catches her eye. The man is dressed in a denim jacket with a hoodie underneath, plain jeans, and Converse. She nods at the stranger.

"I'm a demon, not a… a college student." If demons could spit venom, this one would.

"Well, I'm also not a college student, Mr. Demon, but that's what guys I know wear."

In a blink, he's dressed in a red hoodie, black denim and black Converse. "Any other requests?"

Best not to push her luck. "No."

Suddenly, she feels a burst of air go through her lungs and the familiar thrum of the café fills her ears again. It's almost too loud now. She turns to the barista and he's reciting her order.

"I think you're asking for a venti and grande very berry hibiscus?"

She waves her phone over the card reader. "Sure."

This barista, non-demon Jihoon smiles at her. "Great. And the name?"

When she arrives on time to her creative meeting, she slides the drinks across the table to Jeonghan and Seungcheol. She collapses into the seat next to Jeonghan, who addresses the problem she’d nearly forgotten on her rush over.

“Who’s the new guy?” he asks.

She grimaces and looks over at Jihoon standing by the door. The demon stands with his arms crossed over his chest, clearly unhappy to be here.

“That’s,” she clears her throat, “Jihoon. He’s…” She studies the demon, who isn’t inclined to help her come up with a lie. Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Hansol all wait for her to fill in the connection. “He’s my friend that’s visiting. One of my brother’s friends… that came to the city.” This lie eases the knot in her chest, but why is he here? “He doesn’t know the city very well yet, so I… I said that I would take him on a tour after the meeting.”

Her three friends take a second to process this information, before Seungcheol breaks out into a smile. He leans forward on his elbows, so he can look past Hansol at Jihoon. “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Seungcheol. This is Hansol. That’s Jeonghan.”

Hansol, who is sat across from her, waves in Jihoon’s direction. When he makes eye contact with her, she notices the very slight furrow in his brow.

She shakes her head in response to his unasked question.

Jeonghan doesn’t notice the exchange; if he does, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he begins the meeting and jumps right into the collaborative contract that she and Hansol are working on. They’re collaborating on a large mural in the city, and the city has just provided feedback on the loose design.

Seungcheol, Hansol’s manager, jots down notes for Hansol.

“So, they want less colour? Why did they choose Hansol then?” Seungcheol shakes his head as he writes.

“They want three colours only,” Jeonghan explains. “Preferably the primary colours in their colour palette.”

“My line work can’t be coloured in with three colours,” she says. “There are skin tones.”

Hansol raises his hand and turns his sketchbook towards the group. He tends to multitask during meetings, which is why Seungcheol takes his notes. “I can just adjust my design. We might not be able to do 3 colours only, because I still want the depth to come through. But I agree, we should keep the skin tones. The whole point of the mural is diversity, and that should be real.”

She looks to Jeonghan. “Can you get them to compromise on skin tone and maybe 6 colours instead of 3?”

Jeonghan makes a note of it in his notebook and then moves onto the next slide.

By the time the meeting ends, Jihoon has his eyes closed, arms still crossed, as he leans against the wall.

“Is he okay?” Jeonghan asks as they collect their things together.

“Uhm, yes, I think so.” She slings her tote bag over her shoulder. “We’ll redo the thumbnails, so that they can choose which set they prefer.”

“They were asking for an earlier deadline, but I told them that would be unlikely with all the things they asked you and Hansol to change.”

Hansol finishes chatting with Seungcheol and motions with his head towards the door. “I’ll walk you home.”

“Oh, that’s–” Hansol’s eyes dart to Jihoon, and she understands the offer. “Right. Sure, okay. That’d be great.”

She wonders if she can just leave Jihoon behind. Do demons actually sleep?

When she meets Hansol at the door, she asks him how his comic is coming along. She says nothing to Jihoon and they walk right out of the room.

Hansol shrugs, glancing at Jihoon, but saying nothing about it. “Seungkwan said he doesn’t like where the story is going.”

“Yeah, but that’s because you’re making it dark,” she snorts. She readjusts her bag. “And you know how Seungkwan is about dark stuff.”

Hansol nods. He presses the call button for the elevator. “I guess that’s true.”

She knows what Hansol’s thinking. “He’ll catch up.”

Sure enough, Jihoon saunters their way.

Hansol reaches for her hand and gives it a squeeze. The elevator door slides open and she squeezes Hansol’s hand back twice.

One initial squeeze asks if you’re okay.

One back means yes; two means unsure; a tight squeeze is no.

Hansol frowns at her, but she can’t explain. While Jihoon hasn’t seemed particularly threatening, he’s still a demon.

Periodically on their walk to the subway, she glances back at Jihoon. The demon keeps his distance, but always seems to have her in his sightline.

When they reach the turnstiles, this is the first time she waits for Jihoon to catch up.

“You need a ticket,” she tells him.

Jihoon nods, refraining from rolling his eyes. “I have it sorted.”

She assumes he’ll do some blinky magic that the turnstile will miss. That is, until she and Hansol have passed through, and suddenly the guard manning the booth comes running around. The two of them turn and see a man holding Jihoon by the arm.

“Sir, you need to pay to get in here.”

The red glow begins to pulsate around Jihoon, so she quickly intervenes. “Sorry, he’s a friend of mine that’s visiting. I think he got confused.” She glances at Jihoon, whose gaze is just as steely. 

Okay, earthly solutions only. Her mind runs as quickly as possible.

“Can I pay you for his admission? We’re only going a few stops.”

The guard glares at Jihoon, but when he turns to her, his expression softens. When she smiles, his face relaxes further. “I’ll let the others know. Where are you getting off?”

When he stalks back to his booth, eyeing Jihoon, she tugs once on Jihoon’s denim jacket. It’s warm to the touch. “Come on, Demon. We gotta go.”

Jihoon’s head snaps down to look at her. “Either put a ‘mister’ in front of that or call me Jihoon.”

She pauses to consider her response. Provoke the demon or let it be.

“Jihoon, when you tell me you have things sorted, please, keep it sorted.”

Jihoon looks as if he’s about to argue, but she cuts him off. Her voice is low, so only he can hear. “If you wanted to take my soul, you would have taken it from me already. So, either I need to willingly give it to you or you need to kill me.”

Jihoon’s expression hardens, but he pulls away.

“Now, come on.”

She catches Hansol’s arm and drags him after her.

“Do you have a boyfriend I don’t know about?” Hansol frowns.

“He is not my boyfriend.”

Hansol checks over his shoulder. The icy stare isn’t directed at him, so he wonders if she’s aware of the look. “Can he hear me?”

“Assume yes.”

“Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“Even if I could explain, you wouldn’t believe me.”

He scoffs. “Do you realize who you’re talking to?”

“That’s how unbelievable it is.”

Hansol lifts an eyebrow, his hand reaching for a bar as the train lurches forward. “Well, now I’m more intrigued.”

“When I figure out how to tell you, I will.”

Hansol catches her fingers and gives her hand one squeeze.

She lets out a breath and squeezes back once.

part 2

[siriusdog]

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman - A review

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

This is a fine book. I might like it, I could have liked it. But I don’t. But is it fun, Yes. Would I ask you to read it? Yes, if you like the journey more than the destination. No, if you are like me.

Its about a boy who survives an assassination attempt from a eccentric guy. But he is a toddler. And he is raised by ghost-parents in a graveyard. Which might sound unusual but if you know Neil Gaiman, he writes the most unusual shit all the time. All his books are whimsical as fuck. This book has a character driven plot. There are many characters and they have this really own world and they are living with their thoughts, fears and their own battles which are never indulged in the book. As all his books, the side characters usually have a captivating story but are only teased a bit. Even though, the book is silly at times the book is still grounded in reality and is not a fantasy book. I wouldn’t say that it’s a children’s book.

The story is because a boy grows in a graveyard. And he sees things there. We see the world through his eyes. And as you can see, these things are not normal. So from a toddler to a teenager, he has no sense of normality and he yearns for it. He is warned the outside world is danagerous because the serial killer is still there. We never know the things that happen in the real world. Believe me, the things that actually happen is really really interesting but we never know what’s happening because as always we get a protagonist who is shielded from the actual dangers and in the finale he comes out and takes down some of the people.

It isn’t like he is like Harry Potter who kills Voldemort. Its more like many people do stuff and he does stuff and helps a bit in killing a part of the big bad. Neil Gaiman loves to keep you in the out, docile, and away from any real action. He never tells you things explicitly. That’s his style.

He focuses on small things, the places, the people and their whimsy. What’s more infuriating is everyone except you and protagonist knows what’s happening. And, all the time you are just a dumb fucking idiot grasping at shreds of paper and assembling them to know what’s happening. I read this book because I liked Good Omens. It was a nice prime series (season 1). So I bought it, and thus I read it.

[softguarnere]

Hi there! I am in Florida, and at this very moment, trying to dissociate from hurricane Ian that is beginning to hit my town. 😬 So I figured I'd distract myself by asking for ships. If you see this elsewhere too, I just...don't like talking about myself very much so I'm only writing this once.

She/her, INFP, Hufflepuff. 5'2, generally pale, curvy, but not overweight (yet, lol), blonde hair (but it's currently The Little Mermaid bright red, lol), blue-green eyes. I love my hair and my eyes and this is the only thing you'll ever hear me say I like about my appearance.

My favorite thing about myself is my sense of humor. And to a lesser extent, my sarcasm. I never really feel I have much to offer people, especially in difficult times, but I can make my friends laugh when they are crying. And a few weeks ago one of my good friends said to me that every time she goes home after spending time with me, her husbsnd says she is always in such a happy mood. And that was just like...the nicest thing anyone could say to me. 💜 I am an introvert until I am comfortable with someone and then I can be loud and frequently silly. Years of customer service in my past made me decent at bullshitting small talk, but ugh, it drains my batteries. I will get along with anyone who isn't an asshole, but I do not get close to most people easily. I don't like conflict, so I can get passive aggressive with people I'm close to if I have any issues over something. Trying very hard to change that, as I know it's not a great look.

Other random shit about me: I have anxiety, but (I think) I've learned to hide it well in public most of the time? My brain is just a fucking mess, but I will joke about it all day! 🙃 I love all animals. I'd cuddle an alligator if it wouldn't eat me. I've got cats, dogs, rats and a bunny. I've wanted a horse my whole life. My favorite author is Neil Gaiman. I love going to the beach and swimming in the ocean. I love museums and history and learning about lore/fairytales/monsters/cryptids. I love Marvel movies/comics, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. I occasionally do conventions and cosplay, though I'm not very good at the cosplay bc I cannot sew. Lol. I've been Rose and Amy from Doctor Who and Kate Bishop (Hawkeye). It's really fun! I wish I were better at it. Love bowling and mini golf. Sadly, none of my friends do.

I love music and going to shows used to be my thing! Like I've seen over 100 bands and concerts. I don't have the time/money/energy to do it anymore, but those were absolutely the best years of my life. I've traveled to other states and across the country for a couple of bands (The Matches and Motion City Soundtrack) and made some of the best friends just waiting in lines. I have one tattoo and it's a crow with a blue button eye that the singer of my favorite band drew for me.

I'm gonna shut up now. Lol. Sorry I got carried away. I'm REALLY trying to distract myself from thinking about this hurricane rn. Thanks in advance if you made it through the rambling and decide to do anything with it. 😁💜

Hi love! I hope that you're doing well -- my thoughts are with you and everyone else in Florida 💕

I ship you with . . .

Lewis Nixon!

There are so many reasons I see this ship working, so I'm gonna try to explain them all coherently lol

Okay, first of all, when I say Nixon loves you, I mean all of you -- your personality, your looks, everything. He would constantly be complimenting your appearance and making sure that you know how gorgeous you are, because he wants you to see yourself the way that he sees you

Sarcastic duo (but not in a mean, argumentative way! The fun, only teasing each other way) He loves your sense of humor, and if he's ever a little too in his head, he comes to you because he knows that you'll be able to ground him by just joking around with him and making him smile

When you first meet, he thinks that you're very shy and is trying to figure out ways to bring you out of your shell so that he can get to know you better. The second that you get comfortable around him -- bam! He's the immediate embodiment of the heart eyes emoji, because omg she's so much fun and I'm gonna talk to her for hours

Nix is pretty comfortable in public places -- he grew up attending parties and galas because of his parents, so he knows how to politely work a room if he has to make an appearance. He knows that you get anxious, though, and he'll hold your hand the entire night, gently rubbing his thumb along your knuckles to soothe you as you make the rounds while socializing

After the war, Nixon is really intent on just enjoying himself -- in the various different ways that entails. And now that you're together, he's gonna make sure that you enjoy yourself, too

He takes you everywhere (and don't worry, because he can afford it -- no worries about sparing any expense) You want to go to a museum? Not really his scene, but he loves watching your face light up all day when you learn something new. You want to go to the beach? He's rented a boujee house for the week. You want to go to a concert? Front row seats. Everything is an adventure, and what's better than having an adventure with someone you love?

At some point, he thinks it might be nice to settle down somewhere. Or at least to have a nice place to come back to. You're a little surprised by how big the property he buys for this purpose is, and when you tell him so, he just smirks, "Well, where else are we gonna put the horses?"

You didn't get carried away at all, darling! Again, I hope you're doing well 💕 Thanks for the request, and I hope you like this 💕🕊️

[holdingforgeneralhugs]

Hi there! I am in Florida, and at this very moment, trying to dissociate from hurricane Ian that is beginning to hit my town. 😬 So I figured I'd distract myself by asking for ships. If you see this elsewhere too, I just...don't like talking about myself very much so I'm writing this once.

She/her, INFP, Hufflepuff. 5'2, generally pale, curvy, but not overweight (yet, lol), blonde hair (but it's currently The Little Mermaid bright red, lol), blue-green eyes. I love my hair and my eyes and this is the only thing you'll ever hear me say I like about my appearance.

My favorite thing about myself is my sense of humor. And to a lesser extent, my sarcasm. I never really feel I have much to offer people, especially in difficult times, but I can make my friends laugh when they are crying. And a few weeks ago one of my good friends said to me that every time she goes home after spending time with me, her husbsnd says she is always in such a happy mood. And that was just like...the nicest thing anyone could say to me. 💜 I am an introvert until I am comfortable with someone and then I can be loud and frequently silly. Years of customer service in my past made me decent at bullshitting small talk, but ugh, it drains my batteries. I will get along with anyone who isn't an asshole, but I do not get close to most people easily. I don't like conflict, so I can get passive aggressive with people I'm close to if I have any issues over something. Trying very hard to change that, as I know it's not a great look.

Other random shit about me: I have anxiety, but (I think) I've learned to hide it well in public most of the time? My brain is just a fucking mess, but I will joke about it all day! 🙃 I love all animals. I'd cuddle an alligator if it wouldn't eat me. I've got cats, dogs, rats and a bunny. I've wanted a horse my whole life. My favorite author is Neil Gaiman. I love going to the beach and swimming in the ocean. I love museums and history and learning about lore/fairytales/monsters/cryptids. I love Marvel movies/comics, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. I occasionally do conventions and cosplay, though I'm not very good at the cosplay bc I cannot sew. Lol. I've been Rose and Amy from Doctor Who and Kate Bishop (Hawkeye). It's really fun! I wish I were better at it. Love bowling and mini golf. Sadly, none of my friends do.

I love music and going to shows used to be my thing! Like I've seen over 100 bands and concerts. I don't have the time/money/energy to do it anymore, but those were absolutely the best years of my life. I've traveled to other states and across the country for a couple of bands (The Matches and Motion City Soundtrack) and made some of the best friends just waiting in lines. I have one tattoo and it's a crow with a blue button eye that the singer of my favorite band drew for me.

I'm gonna shut up now. Lol. Sorry I got carried away. I'm REALLY trying to distract myself from thinking about this hurricane rn. Thanks in advance if you made it through the rambling and decide to do anything with it. 😁💜

Firstly, I hope you and your family are doing OK since the hurricane and that it didn't cause too much damage! Secondly I'm so sorry this has taken me so long to get to, I've been all over the place lately between graduating and starting my new job🙈

I ship you with Johnny Martin

He's obsessed with your red hair, like he thinks it's the coolest thing ever and it looks so good on you.

You're alike in the sense that you both need to be comfortable with someone before you feel like you can really be yourself.

Of course you two seemed to click right away. You both made a few sarcastic teasing comments and it was like you'd been friends for years.

He's always quick to remind you of your worth, and how you always seem to brighten people's lives without even trying

He totally get that sometimes you just need time to yourself to recharge, and he's always happy to just sit quietly with you or leave you do your own thing in your own space. You'll come find him when you're ready.

No matter what you say, he thinks your cosplays are great and he's always super encouraging.

He's ridiculously competitive, and loves nothing more than trying to beat you at mini golf. He scoffs and acts annoyed when you beat him, but really he just loves seeing you smile.

He definitely intends to start taking you to concerts again, cause he knows you loved going to them.

Hope you like it x

[darklinsblog]

Sexy times with Desire would include…

Author’s note: If y’all thought the Morpheus one was filthy buckle tf up bitches. Also, Neil Gaiman if you see this I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I’m just giving people what the want, thank you 👹

You don’t have to say anything, Desire knows every single thing by just looking at you.

Loves to have you wear all sorts of outfits for them

Enjoys to rip your clothes off

You’re their favorite toy to play with.

Funny enough, they’re used to disposing of others, but there was just something intrinsic about you they couldn’t get enough of.

You reminded them constantly how intertwined were the concepts of intimacy and lust

Would constantly go out of their way to make you feel the sexiest living creature

Because to them that’s what you are

They like it rough, to have drunk on adrenaline

Safe words

Consent is the key to everything they do. They won’t do shit unless you’re on board with it

While they are into the more kinky side of stuff they also make sure you are doing things because you want to

Pushes you to try new things they know you’ll love because you deserve to live all types of pleasure

They make you be loud, they find amusing to hear you scream

“Use your words, babydoll…”

Lots of fucking toys

Edging

They LOVE to hear you beg

“Please what?”

They’re not jealous, they simply like to remind everyone who you belong to

Would go on for hours uninterrupted

Absurdly large hickeys on your neck

Lip biting

Has you sit on their face until they’re satisfied and you’re practically passing out

9 out of 10 times they’re in charge

1 out of 10 times is just to see how far you’re willing to go to satisfy them

The most explicit and dirtiest talk ever

Teasing tf out

Gets you going with talk alone

“You look precious when you’re on your knees for me”

Uses their tongue a lot

Tying you down to the bed

Furry handcuffs

Has you pleasure yourself in front of them

Does it in front of the mirror

Red marks all over your body

Sometimes can leave small bruising

In case that happens he makes sure you’re okay with it

“Does it hurt?”

Actually feels bad for hurting you

Likes to trace your figure as aftercare

Aftercare also looks like words of affirmation.

“You’re divine, baby”

Plays with your fingers or hair

[castthy-nightedcolour]

One- Shot: A Different Side (written as part of my series ‘don’t worry about a thing’ on AO3, link can be found at the bottom of the post as it won’t let me embed it)

Fandom: Good Omens

Characters: GN Reader, Crowley, a very annoying mouse

Warnings and Tags: snakes, animal death/ harm, swearing, uh oh we have a pest control problem, snake crowley, comfort , are they aren’t they

Summary: mouse traps, a skip full of rubbish and a broken down bus. not exactly your dream day, but your favourite demonic entity has a trick up his sleeve and behind his glasses to help you.

Word Count: 2778

Link to original: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31055930/chapters/81050182

If there was one word to describe your mood, that word would be vile. Tiny little irritants throughout the day had built to a simmering anger:

-Firstly, your bus into town had broken down about ten minutes away from your stop, meaning that you were forced to trek your way to the shops.

-Secondly, your trip to said shops wasn’t for any kind of retail therapy, but was instead to buy mouse traps. Your usually serene flat had been taken over by a little grey rodent who despite any humane efforts, was refusing to leave. You weren’t usually one for violence towards any living thing, but the little shit was out staying its welcome and had most recently been seen taking a bite out of a loaf of bread.

-When you did eventually get into town, it seemed to be the day for the world’s slowest walkers to take to the streets. Everyone was moving at about two steps per minute and you, being naturally speedy, were constantly waiting for gaps on the pavement to overtake. When you did manage to do this, there would be a whole new couple walking side by side, plodding along at a snail’s pace. You weren’t getting anywhere quick.

All in all, not your finest hour. This all came to a head on Oxford Street, or as you liked to call it, hell.

Your brain felt as though it were made of jelly, your temperature was rising, and someone stopped right in the middle of the street to check their phone. Slamming right into the back of them, you immediately let out something resembling a howl before running to your side off down Old Cavendish Street, somewhere slightly quieter. You leaned against the nearest wall, hot anger bubbling within you for what at the time, seemed like a life or death scenario of you getting out of town with the mousetraps, but in retrospect was just the culmination of various shitty things.

The last thing which you wanted to hear was any sign that you were being perceived, but a teenage boy riding past you on a bike shouting an obnoxious ‘WAHEYYYY’ at you was enough to tip you over the edge. You bashed your head back on the wall, feeling acid tears of anger falling, pedalled down your face by your short temper. Then, another shout came towards you from across the street.

‘Y/N? Is that you?’

You were ready to push yourself off the wall to lunge at this person until your brain caught up with recognition. Tilting your head forwards, your suspicions were confirmed when you saw floppy, ginger hair bouncing over the street atop a leather-clad frame. The sunglasses perched on his nose brought you a feeling somewhere between relief and fear.

You and Crowley had a relationship which can only be described as ‘are they? Aren’t they?’

You sure as hell couldn’t tell if he had any romantic feelings for you, and he gave off vibes so mixed that they were jumbled by this point. People always commented on the electricity between the two of you whenever you were together, but you tried not to get your hopes up and usually just put this down to his magnetising nature.

He’d told you about himself, and you thought that he must have trusted you somewhat to be able to disclose that he was a demon to you.

Then again, maybe he was just overly confident.

In the state you were currently in, you couldn’t decide whether to run into his arms to scream, or run as quickly away from him as was physically possible.

Your body chose neither and just stood there, open mouthed and gawking as the tears continued to fall with no effort from your eyelids. Crowley examined you, peering over the top of his sunglasses to try and decipher the scene before him.

‘Don’t tell me someone’s upset you, because I will find them for you, Y/N’ he started, rearing himself up as he spoke. You jumped in.

‘No, no. Not upset. I swear. Just… pissed off. Massively, massively pissed off. Short fuse today, y’see.’

‘Oh. Well, I know all about that. I’m quick to anger at any given moment but then again, ‘s in my nature. What exactly are you doing down here?’

You looked to your side at the gigantic skip full of building waste, then down to your feet where someone’s puke sat. You looked back up to the demon.

‘It was a quick escape, one that was made before I slapped someone in the face.’

Crowley looked slightly taken aback, not expecting any expression of violence from you considering your usually placid nature.

‘Ooookay. Well, I won’t ask for details but, here.’ He leaned over slightly and brushed away some of the tears which were still running down your face. You could swear that you both stopped breathing for a moment as he touched you but then again, you weren’t in a fit state for rational thinking.

‘Thank you,’ you breathed out. ‘I’m all good, I promise. Just need to breathe.’ You gave a reassuring smile to the demon and noticed him looking down to your hand, holding a flimsy plastic bag containing the mouse traps.

‘What you got there? Looks interesting.’ He said, tilting his head to try and get a closer look. You brought the bag up to your chest.

‘Oh, mouse traps. There’s a little shit thinking that he owns my flat who’s probably currently in my bread bin. Thought I’d stop the problem while I could, considering there’s that saying about seeing mice. Y’know, for every mouse you see, there’s always another one somewhere. Can’t wait to clean that up!’ Your words had somewhat of a bite, being spat like venom.

‘Woah. You really are pissed, aren’t you?’ Crowley responded, half smirking. For some reason, this set you off again.

‘Yes. Yes, actually I am. Because y’know what? This day has been fucking horrific! I genuinely don’t think that I’ve had two consecutive minutes of peace since the second I woke up. I can’t relax because of the mouse, then there was the bus, and the walking, and the pain in my feet, and the twat who decided to check his phone in the middle of Oxford Street. Sorry, who the hell does that? I just feel like I’ve been left out of any plans that the universe had to let people go about their day without a care in the world. So yes, I’m fuming.’ You gave a huff before realising that you were now crying again. Crowley stood slightly dumbstruck, shifting his weight between his feet. You glanced off to the side, watching the shoppers propel themselves down Oxford Street.

The demon then spoke, his voice low and sincere.

‘Can I give you a lift?’

—

After what felt like a windswept journey in the Bentley, Crowley screeched to a halt outside your flat. Jolting forwards slightly, the plastic bag containing the mouse traps crinkled between your legs.

You’d calmed down quite significantly, but now felt a combination of complete embarrassment that you’d had such an outburst in front of the being that you completely adored, and absolute excitement that he’d even offered you a lift. This wasn’t helped when you heard him say,

‘Let me walk you upstairs. Check that you’re okay.’

You felt fizzy, and as the two of you trudged up to your flat, you felt as though you could lift off any second. As you unlocked your front door, Crowley leaned on the doorframe, peering in to the hallway as you threw your bag on the floor. You suddenly regretted this as when the bag hit the floor, there was a scuttle from under your bedroom door, and the little mouse took one giant sprint off towards the kitchen. You screamed in shock as the little bastard took itself away, and Crowley grabbed onto your arm. This made you jump for a second time.

‘Woah woah there, calm down. It’s just a little mouse, we’ll sort this,’ Crowley sweetly spoke, lulling your heart back to a slightly normal rate. You looked down to his arm resting on yours and couldn’t help but smile slightly.

Crowley had a look on his face which would have read from ten miles away as one with a scheme brewing.

‘Look Y/N, I’m going to do something here which I don’t do very often, and all I’m asking is that you don’t freak out,’ the demon announced.

You couldn’t help but make a sarcastic joke.

‘What’s that then, the housework?’ Smirking, you looked up at Crowley who glared at you through his sunglasses.

‘Fine, you don’t need my help!’ He huffed, obviously taking the piss but you couldn’t help but tease him back into good spirits.

‘No no, sorry Crowley. What have you got for me?’

‘Snake.’

You stood there for a second, trying to make any sense of what he just said and burning up slightly as you wondered if this was perhaps his way of flirting.

‘A… a snake? You have a snake?’

‘Yes. Well, no. Well… yes. Look it’s complicated, can I just show you?’

Uh oh. Maybe this was him flirting.

You thought for a second before hearing an almighty crash from the kitchen, and from down the hallway you saw an entire loaf of bread fall to the ground, followed by a small army of mice. Again, you let out a scream as Crowley slammed the door shut behind the both of you.

‘How fucking many are there now?!’ You exclaimed, turning to face Crowley who was now quickly shifting between his feet. He suddenly grabbed your shoulders.

‘Look Y/N, tell me quick, do you have a phobia?’

‘Of mice? I think that’s pretty evident Crow-‘

‘No, of snakes. Are you scared of snakes?’

‘What is it with you and these snakes?’ You laughed. The demon then stood dead still and stared right at you.

‘Stay still. Don’t freak out please. I promise this will help.’

Before you knew it, Crowley’s hands had disappeared off your shoulders and he seemed to disappear entirely from before you. Confused, you looked down at the floor.

What you saw took your breath away for what felt like forever.

Rows and rows of black scales suddenly lined your hallway, flowing from side to side as the form made its way towards the kitchen. This didn’t take long, considering the snake’s body seemed to run on forever, there must have been at least 10 metres of the creature occupying your apartment.

You’d never really considered Crowley’s powers before. While you were aware that he was a demon, this thought didn’t control your every interaction with him. He was just Crowley- your friend Crowley- your possibly more than a friend Crowley- your Crowley. Shapeshifting had never been part of the picture.

But it was so, so beautiful.

Moving.

And snakes were never your favourite but this was just something else.

Squeals of mouse terror came from the kitchen as a massive shadow rose up throughout the whole apartment. Crowley was sitting up on his body, his head pointed towards any mouse that he could detect and a razor sharp stare in his luminescent eyes.

Your favourite part of this whole scenario was laying on the floor in front of you- Crowley’s sunglasses, sans Crowley for the first time ever. You smiled as you bent down to pick them up, your feet planted to the spot due to the inherently overwhelming nature of what was happening. You ran your fingers over the frames feeling the heat that was stored in them.

There was something so human about the lingering warmth to the metal, but that thing that made it so distinctively Crowley was the fact that the heat never seemed to fade.

The floor seemed to move as the scales once again shifted, with Crowley turning round to come back towards you. Cold fear seized your entire body, despite the oddly comforting and protective energy of this gigantic creature. His yellow eyes were right in front of your face before you’d even managed to properly react to him moving towards you.

You blinked and the Crowley that you knew and … ahem… was standing in front you, a live mouse swinging from his hand by the tail.

‘Consider those rodents dispatched.’

The mouse in his hand was thrashing wildly from side to side and while you hated the little shits, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for it. You went to protest but no words came out of your mouth.

You’d just witnessed something- something that couldn’t exactly be described as a miracle but to you- maybe?

Crowley noticed the panic in your eyes directed towards the mouse and realised what he needed to do. The mouse disappeared in another of your blinks.

There were so many pressing questions on your mind, but you only managed to actually articulate one of them.

‘Please tell me you didn’t eat those mice, Crowley?’ Your tone was somewhere between intrigue and massive concern.

The demon scoffed, ‘I prefer oysters normally, Y/N. No, I didn’t eat them. I can assure you though, they won’t be back any time soon.’

Palpable silence hung between the two of you. You naturally seemed to hold out Crowley’s sunglasses to him, staring directly into the eyes which served as a reminder of his other form as you did so.

Crowley went to slowly take the glasses off you, but in a snap decision, you snatched them back. Crowley wasn’t exactly thrilled by this.

‘Hey, don’t play games with those. They’re my-‘

He didn’t stand a chance of finishing his sentence before you jumped in, with your subconscious mind taking a grasp on your mouth. Maybe this was a trick of Crowley’s, but at least some of it came from your heart.

‘Do it again. Turn back.’

The two of you stared at each other as a smirk took over the demon’s face.

‘Really? It seemed to terrify you, dearest.’

The cockiness in his voice only persuaded you to carry on pushing.

‘Not at all! No no, it was just... well it was a shock at first. Obviously. Like who the hell else can do that? But no, not terror. It’s intrigue. I swear.’

You made sure to assert yourself in your voice as your brain convinced you that you would never rest again unless Crowley turned back into a snake. It was almost like the sheer shock had morphed into utter obsession in a matter of seconds.

And maybe you just adored every part of Crowley and him being vulnerable in showing a new side to you? Well...

Again, you blinked and he was gone for a moment, before the black reptile rose up to meet your gaze. He hadn’t continued to question you.

The presence was unexplainable, physically so big in the space but even just the idea of him just seemed to fill up every corner of the place. Moving the sunglasses into your right hand, you tentatively raised up your left.

‘Can... may I? Can I touch?’ You softly asked, mimicking a petting action in the air. Somehow, Crowley let you know that it was okay, pulling your hand towards him with some kind of magnetising energy.

Your fingers lightly brushed the scales on his head and you took a breath so deep you almost triggered hiccups. The texture was confusing, it almost seemed like it was shifting forms by the second- smooth then rough, hard then feather soft, but still always cool as marble. You fully rested your hand down as you glanced along the entire body, once again filling up the entire hallway.

‘Crowley, this is beautiful. I mean that.’ You whispered, transfixed on what you were seeing.

Then, the unimaginable happened. Your hand which had ended up resting on the snake’s head suddenly felt warm.

Was... was he blushing? You decided to test the water slightly more.

‘I didn’t even imagine that anything could be so magnificent but, well. Here you are. So gorgeous.’

Sure enough, another flush felt through your hand.

‘Crowley, are you blushing?’ You giggled. The heat on his face then took another rise, this time enough to hurt you slightly. You drew your hand away instinctually, but with a smile still on your face.

This was now a day worth noting. The day that started with a mouse in a bread bin and some unfortunately placed anger, and ended as the day that you made a snake blush.

And of course, he made you blush too.

A new side of Crowley. One that you couldn’t help but adore.

[zillennial97]

Enemies to Lovers | Larry Fanfic Recs

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy | 149k | Explicit

Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes.- A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

Unbelievers by isthatyoularry | 136k | Explicit

It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

we're not friends, we could be anything by nooelgallagher, yoursongonmyheart | 115k | Explicit

Louis narrows his eyes at Harry. “What that supposed to be a fucking joke?”

Harry narrows his eyes right back. “It was a good joke.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Jokes require laughter, Curls.” Louis glances down at Harry’s thighs again, Christ. “Your pants must be so tight they’re restricting airflow to your brain.”

Harry wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead. “Pretty sure yoga is supposed to increase airflow, blood flow, and all that,” he responds dryly, finally jumpstarting himself and walking away from Louis towards his own bedroom.

Louis can’t help but stare at his broad back, still sheen with drying sweat, and his perky bum in the tight yoga pants.

Louis swallows. Christ.

...Or, the one where Harry and Louis are unlikely uni flatmates who definitely don't like each other and definitely won't fall in love (even if Liam and Niall think otherwise).

Our Lives, Non-Fiction by indiaalphawhiskey | 113k | Explicit

Heralded as the next Neil Gaiman, Louis Tomlinson does not appreciate being told that his very serious novel is in dire need of a PR boost. Even worse, that it comes in the form of a joint book tour with the UK’s #1 online romance-writing sensation Marcel Styles. Already turbulent at best, their partnership takes a drastic turn when, overly stressed about his looming deadline, Marcel accidentally blurts out a secret: though he’s famed for his scorching hot literary love scenes, he is, actually, a virgin.

Convinced that the only way to rid himself of writer’s block is to gain some experience, Marcel asks Louis, author-to-author, to sleep with him – for Science. And of course Louis agrees because, well, what on Earth could possibly go wrong?

Or, a lesson in romance that proves that sometimes the best love stories aren’t always by the book.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can't Lose by dolce_piccante | 112k | Mature

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Dance to the Distortion by Lis (domesticharry) | 96k | Explicit

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) by lucythegoosey | 95k | Explicit

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

Or: Harry and Louis are forced to fake-date after an old video from when they were dating emerges.

The Sidelines by RedRidingStiles | 47k | Explicit

"Alright, I know you guys are the best of friends but I'd like you to do this for the rest of the team,” Cowell says, making the rest of the team snicker. "So I want both of you to compliment each other." "I hate your trainers. I mean that in the nicest way possible. They're very...yellow," Louis says, arms crossed as he offers a fake close-lipped grin. "It's really nice of you to blow anyone you find slightly attractive," Harry replies, a sickening sweet smile on his lips. "Thank you, children, let me remind you this is a college hockey team. Try again," Coach says, completely unamused.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can't stand one another, since they can't keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other

Wonderwall by AFangirlFantasy | 43k | General Audiences

Taking the sheet cluttered with times available for the next few weeks, Louis notices a pattern in the list. The name of the person Perrie had just mentioned: Harry Styles. It’s written at least seven times, and three of which are during timeframes Louis wants.

“Who the fuck is Harry Styles?”

“You’re about to find out,” she answers, pointing over Louis’ shoulder.

Or a Love/Hate College AU where Louis Tomlinson is the lead singer of The Rogue - the most popular band on campus - and Harry Styles is the talented Freshman unknowingly challenging all that.

All the Right Moves by cherrystreet | 32k | Explicit

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

Nicotine by KrisStylinson | 32k | Explicit

"We're two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we'd never date." Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.

"Just because you can get me hard doesn't mean I like you," Louis whispered. The fact was, he didn't like Harry right now, not at all. Not even a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry murmured, his breath fanning over Louis' cock as he spoke. "You done telling me how much you hate me so I can suck you off?"

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups | 31k | Explicit

“Um…” Harry said slowly after a moment. “Okay. That’s… this is… Let me get this straight.” He lifted up a hand and swallowed. “You told your family that you have a boyfriend… and my name was the first one you thought of?” “Harry Potter was on TV, alright? It wasn’t that much of a stretch.” Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe he was explaining himself to Harry fucking Styles. He couldn’t believe he was stooping this low. “Forget it. I’m sorry I even thought about bringing you into this.”

Harry snorted. “What? Did you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?”

(Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.)

We're Like Bumper Cars by sincehewaseighteen | 31k | Explicit

“I have won, I won the final cross country. I win, Harry--”

“Whoever gets to fucking nationals wins it, pretty boy,” Harry teases. “You haven’t won. Interhouse is nothing compared to nationals, or interstate. You haven’t even won interschool. You can dream all you fucking want that you’ve won.”

Louis becomes so ignorant he decides to no longer eye the boy taunting him. “Trophies prove it all, Styles.”

“Where’s your trophy for biggest asshole?”

“Where’s yours for winning cross country?”

Harry growls before hooking his fingers in Louis’ belt loops and bringing them together for a flat kiss.

Or the AU where Louis and Harry are rivals of the century and Cross Country competitors before things get complicated and they play pretend.

After Hours by Velvetoscar for shipsdrifting | 26k | Not Rated

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are the bane of each other's existences. Unfortunately, they're already in love--even if they aren't completely aware of this minor detail.

[A "You've Got Mail" AU]

When It's Late At Night by Rearviewdreamer | 25k | Mature

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

Or

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

Love Me Please by angelichl | 23k | Explicit

Louis hates Harry, which is fine because he would really rather prefer to avoid him at all costs.

The only problem?

They're soulmates.

runnin' like you did by orphan_account | 20k | Explicit

“Should we tell him?”

When Lauren is met with everyone either nodding their heads or shrugging, she takes a deep breath. “I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious by now.” She stalls, sounding ominous and Louis doesn’t like it one bit.

“What is obvious by now?” Louis asks. He’s starting getting anxious. “I swear to God, spit it out. Stop being so damn cryptic.”

“I—We think it’s pretty obvious that you’re in love with Harry,” she states simply and shrugs as if she isn’t telling him he’s in love with the second—Nick being the first—most annoying person on the planet.

or, a college au where Louis knows how to hold a grudge and is definitely not in love with Harry Styles

Three French Hems by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews | 20k | Mature

In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

once bitten and twice shy by pinkcords | 19k | Mature

This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?”

Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.

That's How I Know by allwaswell16 | 19k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees.

Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

Get Off of My Cloud by Marora_Daris | 9k | Explicit

Harry is the most annoying neighbour that sexually frustrated Louis could have. Niall decides it's a good idea to handcuff them together.

Featuring guinea pigs, animal print leggings and inappropriate boners.

Erase My History, (Expo)se Me by BayouSexual, pacificrimjob for Edandcurly | 6k | Teen And Up Audiences

“My hair does not smell like strawberries.”

Louis blinks up at Mr. Styles. “I never said your hair smells like strawberries. How would I even know that?” Harry’s hair does smell like strawberries, Harry himself smells like strawberries, everyone who’s been within three feet of him knows this. ~~~~~~~~ Or the one where Harry and Louis both teacher history, their students think they should date, and one pink dry-erase marker is trying to ruin their lives (with a little help of course).

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

It Happened One Night in Soho

by pilatesandpinot

While spending a totally-not-a-date night in Soho, Aziraphale questions if perhaps he has lost his mojo when it comes to performing temptations for the Arrangement. This leads to Aziraphale performing a temptation, Crowley performing a miracle, some jealousy, Crowley finally somewhat accepting he's still good deep down, and Aziraphale learning to just let go. Also love confessions and fucking.

Words: 7390, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Jealousy, Flirting, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Miracles, Temptations, The Arrangement (Good Omens), First Kiss, First Time, Dating, but like, neither of them know they're dating yet, but they will, Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a Mess (Good Omens), Idiots in Love, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Pre-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Porn with Feelings, Angst, Light Angst, mentions of body image issues, if you squint but Crowley loves Azirphale anyway, Crowley is a Pine Tree with Glasses, Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a Tease (Good Omens), Crowley is a Tease (Good Omens), they're both oblivious but they'll figure it out

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36645949

[thusatlas]

20

I have been wondering how to answer this for a few days now. For reference, the post and the subsequent question (feel free to ask for more):

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

The obvious one story to go to is the Crownless. But I've been scratching my head on how to answer this without giving any spoilers because most of the stuff that I'm like 'aljnglajbgklrbgl' about, has been planted, but has not yet come to fruition.

So, I'm going to say that there will be spoilers in this post up to Chapter 20 if you have not caught up yet, and the rest is going to be a massive tease for what's to come.

(Which I think is rather fitting as we enter the last few chapters of part 1.)

Continue past this point at your own peril.

Hidden References

There are loads. I was brought up as a gamer, finding Easter Eggs is my crack. I'd love to go on about how, with the theme of wanting to fully embed the world in magical realism, I have incorporated a number of Easter Eggs from real life to enrich the text in a meta way - but that just simply isn't true.

I'm just a fiend who has a lot of fun with the freedom of fanfiction.

The most obvious one that near enough everyone who has commented has picked up on, is the Pirates of the Caribbean reference in Lucius' chapter.

My favourite Easter Egg of them all is that I have actually given away Raine's true identity and further hinted and the lore that goes with that identity. It's buried within the text, hidden in plain sight, which is in keeping with the theme of the story.

There's a fair few references to the Grimm Brother's, especially where the Black Forrest is concerned.

The narration style of 'describing the wallpaper' is a homage to Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, who have greatly influenced the humour and style of this entire fic. In particular here, the items that Hermione carries on her person is a direct callback to 'Hitch Hiker's Guide to Galaxy'.

There's a reference to Deborah Harkness' 'All Saints Trilogy' (highly recommend these books). I read these and fell down the alchemical rabbit hole that led me to the Voynich.

There are all sorts of popular culture references, from Marvel to Jane Austin hidden within the text, simply because they were on my mind as I wrote them and it brought me great joy to have the freedom to write them.

Not everything is serious. However, I am seriously considering going through and making an Easter Egg masterlist, and anyone who can name them all will get a cookie.

Characters, relationships and hidden foreshadowing (because I love spinning webs)

There are loads, every character has an arc, whether it be big or small. Someone once commented that they weren't sure whether some details was a red-herring and what was real, while another commented that every detail given is a clue.

Both are right, unfortunately - all details mean something but whether they're there for worldbuilding or character development is only something that can be seen when the point comes to light.

The two characters who show this the best are Theo and Raine.

With Theo, we start with this roguish, glib, charming character, who's a touch flamboyant but generally a smooth white-collar criminal.

With Raine, we start with a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde character - Dr Jekyll being quirky, weird and unassuming. In the beginning, we only see brief touches of Mr Hyde - the serious, cold and calculating General. The overall effect is a character that I am pleased to see no one trusts.

But the clues are in the names. They always have been, they always will be.

Just the same way that Fear was a foreshadowing from chapter 1...

For Theo, the reader has had some indication of his character arc since Chapter 2. This was re-affirmed in Chapter 13 and again recently in Chapter 20. Theo is closely tied to my favourite Easter Egg, whose name ties into this whole thing, and further builds upon Harry's canon identity, as we see in Deathly Hallows. I shan't say more, because spoilers. But you will find out soon.

For Raine, it's trickier. Again, it's all in the names, and as I've stated, I dropped that Easter Egg a while ago. But then the reader is told that 'Raine Willows' is infact a careless name, thought up in the spur of a moment. A name is an identity, ergo, what sort of Being cares little about that? Further to this, his journey is closely tied with Hermione's - always has been. The more Hermione has fallen down the rabbit hole, the more Raine has moved away from Dr Jekyll and become Mr Hyde.

The crux of their arcs is closely tied to the heart of the story. For Raine, he is Hermione's mentor. The other characters - Draco included - move around Hermione. She is the constant.

Much the same as the central plot. No matter how many side plots or whatever there are, it's all a helix towards the same focus point.

Part 2

It is my hope, that by the time we begin part 2, all the pieces will be lined up, ready to go. The Fuckening is one really really long introduction, setting the scene and laying the foundation. In order for the plot to exist and for our characters to go on the journeys that they will in part 2, everything has to break.

The allegory

Don't mind me whilst I put on my pretentious hat and dust off my critical thinking robes.

There is a fuck tonne of symbolism, sometimes in the staging of a scene, sometimes in the character's behaviour - Narcissa and Draco chapter 20, the character development of a Messiah.

But by now, if you've been following me or have spoken to me for more than 5 minutes, inevitably 'worldviews' would have cropped up. I sincerely apologise, I am aware that I am a broken record.

I started this fic in a really uncertain time in the world. As a STEM social science researcher, it's my job to look at the big picture and at the time (and still relevant to me now) the question was, wtf is going on?

So for me, along with it being a conversation about the psychology of love and friendship in a deterministic world, I wanted to highlight the importance of belief systems. I wanted to show from a psychological perspective how civilisation is built upon a very fragile network of beliefs both individual and collective, and the agreed-upon social norms only continue to exist, because we as a collective continue to perpetuate them.

I wanted to show how easily those belief systems can break which is why we begin with the disappearance of a horse and a somewhat intelligent cat. And the only way I could do that was to base canon in magical realism. A norm so adjacent to the ones we accept today, is one that will fracture everything so thoroughly and so quickly, that I won't have to write a tome to get my point across.

The Crownless is a story told from multiple perspectives, seeing and living the same long and winding conspiracy. And in worldbuilding, I have tried to show perspectives of different stakeholders, how politics is again, a delicate promise spun from beliefs. The Crownless is not meant to be a serious piece of literature, but it's my way of showing the hypocrisy of claiming Absolute Good and Evil in any situation.

[sothischickshe]

For the writer asks 4, 7, 23 😘

😘😘😘

4. INSPIRATION. What inspires you the most?

Oh MY!

Well in terms of the writing process, i think it's kind of a rush to the edit? I like fixing things and improving things and teasing things and so on, and i think that's a large part of why i like having a fully formed draft to work from, and it's why a first draft being bad doesn't realllllllly trouble me.

In terms of things to write about... Mis/communication, messiness of human connection, the selfishness and smallness of an individual's perspective??

In terms of reward... Being able to read the story i want to read, learning and improving, entertaining others.

In terms of the concepts - i think i do like fairly absurd set ups? And then the challenge is: can I make this seem not entirely ludicrous? It's kind of like writing yourself into a corner on purpose i guess?? I also do like exploring different tones for different types of stories, and withholding information in a way that's hopefully not super obvious but also not super misleading.

7. Favourite writers? Have they influenced you at all? 

Oh i have many! I don't and can't write like them but I'm sure their influences are secreted all over my writing.

I think the humour and having funness of ppl like terry pratchett and jasper fforde are there, the cynicism but also escapism (and interiority) of austen probably is too, the desire to do a lot with a little is from amazing short story writers like daphne du maurier, i think a lot of my fave writing combines thick prose with a narrative trick - and the prose both obscures and reveals? I'm thinking of atwood and waters but also American gods (Neil Gaiman) for example. I think elements of that have filtered in for sure! And i do think dh lawrence probs is one of my fave writers although i don't lurve that many of his books (st mawr is the platinum fucking standard though!!), but i always loved this slightly odd relationship with temporality in his prose? That's probs there too, ha ha. Oh and sorkin!! I love witty dialogue, i love dialogue/writing where you can tell who wrote it, I love his love of rhythm, and how SILLY he is.

23. Are there any misconceptions people have about your writing? 

Well this is hard, because how to know other ppl's conceptions??

These aren't unique to me but:

Intentionality: i think a lot of writing is subconscious and writers often can't explain why thing do in the story/readers will pick up on things that were hazily present, that the writer didn't consciously frame like that.

Perception: with tight (especially single person) pov, the joke/point/conceit is often that the character is wrong/making assumptions. Some of which might be revealed eventually, some of which might be implied eventually, some of which won't be.

Interpretation: i don't think there is a definitive answer to every question about every story? Some stuff is intentionally ambiguous, and for the reader (or watcher!) to decide (or debate!)

Ability to view it objectively: I mean... How?? With your own work you can see all the flaws and awkwardnesses and things you couldn't work out how to fix and where the idea came from and the clumsiness of how it is slotted. You know when you compliment someone else's work, and they turn into a puddle of goo, and a part of you is like ok cmon you must KNOW it's good though?? And then someone says something nice about something you've made and you quite literally die??? And you're like OH OKAY OH RIGHT YEP I GET IT. like any time someone 'recs' something of mine they haven't read yet im just like NO NO NOT ALLOWED YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU LIKE IT YOU IDIOT!! and then I'll see something posted and haven't read yet and be like OH WOW AMAZING THIS LOOKS SO GOOD CAN'T WAIT!! But like... I'm right 😂

Shipping Beth/rio: no gross disgusting, i hope a boat falls on them.

[complexlysimplekiddo]

@Rules: Answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you want to get to know better.

Tagged by the wordsmith, @not-a-natural-born-idjit

Nickname: Chus, Pecke (Little one in spanish), and many, maaaany variations of my name (Endless variations omg)

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Height: 1.68 m

Hogwarts House: Slytherin 

Last Thing I Googled: How to test an Ipad Motherboard with a multimeter (Damn you apple, this is why I hate you!)

Song Stuck In My Head: Un, dos, un, dos, motocicleta! (”One, two, one, two, motorbike!” in spanish, which is A CURSED CHILDREN SONG IN YOUTUBE THAT MY NEPHEW LIKES AND I CAN’T ERASE FROM MY BRAIN)

Following and Followers: As in... numbers? Or concept? My answer is yes.

Amount I Sleep: Steadily aproaching the sleep schedule of a fat house cat.

Lucky Numbers: 2,4

Dream Job: Designer in some nice brand’s I+D department (Like, 3M would be nice)

Wearing: Blue jeans, deep red henley

Favorite Songs: It changes so often, dude. “Oh Darling” and “Revolution” from The Beatles, Elton John’s “Your song” and “I’m still standing”, “Nina cried Power” and “Nobody” from Hozier, Queen’s “Love of my life”... Many, many more.

Favorite Instruments: To play, even if I SUCK at playing music, Harmonica. To listen: Anything played in a surprising and nice way.

Random Fact: I have a very limited range of temperature confort. Like, a 5 degrees C° window. Less than that? Cold as fuck, someone kill me. More than that? HOT AS HELL WHAT THE FUCK, SHOOT ME. Oh but when the weather hits that sweet spot? Bliss.

Favorite Author: Alive? Maggie Stiefvater, Neil Gaiman. Dead? Oscar Wilde

Favorite Animal Noises: The weak ass meowing one of my cats has. Like, it’s barely there? And I tease him about it? Constantly? Also any purring. And my dog’s nails on the floor when she realizes it’s go outside time. She goes nuts. Also, birds singing. ANY ANIMAL NOISES ARE THE BEST NOISES.

Aesthetic: Contradictory shit. Hard vs soft. Organic vs Geometrical. This behaving oposite as you thing they should (Geometrical organics are the best, like suculents and hexagonal basalt columns, yeahhhh). Mechanical shop stuff, but like, nice. 

Tagging: @vane-bigomon @kemizaki @ktyuza

[muppetmolly]

There is such SHIT I wish I could tell Johnny Depp.

So I saw my first of his films when I was 10. It was 2003, and my parents took my two siblings and myself to see Pirates of the Caribbean.

Many of you shared in the absolute enchantment I felt watching Captain Jack Sparrow on screen. My siblings and I had been raised on movies, all sorts from all points in film history, and I had never seen anything like Johnny Depp.

Then in 2005, I saw my second ever Depp film (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). How was THAT Willy Wonka the same guy who played Captain Jack Sparrow!?

Not his best film, I grant you. But I was 12 years old and I decided to become an actor after that.

I was utterly fascinated. All through middle school and high school I watched and studied his films, all of them. I don't remember the order I did it in, there were so many and fuck it was a bit ago, but I paid attention and watched everything of his I could find (aside from Private Resort). I took theater classes and went all in, taking cues from what I'd seen him do with his characters.

I mean, it didn't hurt that he was beautiful. It wasn't until years later that I figured that I was a lesbian, but that honestly makes my fondness for his looks make all the more sense.

I mean shit, he's PRETTY.

But that's kinda always been beside the point with him. No matter the role, he was always something different and new. Even if the movie wasn't any good, he was GREAT in it. I was a huge fan of his acting method.

And I've learned so much from his films as well. Both of The Libertine and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas introduced me to so many hilarious/provocative writings. Secret Window got me reading Stephen King, who has become on of my favorite authors (not all of his writings, but some). Benny & Joon lead me to an enduring love for so very many silent films and just films from that era (Keaton, Astaire, Groucho, Chaplin, and Fairbanks are my fucking boys). Finding Neverland made me revisit Peter Pan, and it's now my favorite book and informs so much of my personal philosophy on life. Ed Wood got me into SO MANY films, terrible or otherwise!

And he took me to so many other creators! Johnny Depp to Tim Burton to Henry Selick to Danny Elfman to Neil Gaiman to Stephen King to Colleen Attwood to Roald Dahl to Edward Gorey to Alice Cooper to Hunter S. Thompson DUDE I COULD GO ON.

And then there were the performances that just.... Damn. I'll never be the same after Edward Scissorhands.

But as I watched, and as I grew older and paid attention to how he conducted his personal life, something became painfully clear.

Johnny Depp was a fuckin weirdo, and so were most of his characters.

It took me a while to figure this out, because as goddamn puberty hit, it was becoming painfully obvious that I was a weirdo too.

I hated it.

I didn't understand people. I got in trouble all the time. I was confused and angry. People teased me and told me I was stupid, made fun of me for dressing like a boy. I said shit that didn't make sense. I didn't want to play or talk. I was loud and strange and I got in fights.

By my mom's admittion, she didn't know what to do with me. My siblings were sporty and academic and never caused her any worry, but she didn't know what to fucking do with me. They sorta put me in counseling and left it at that.

I figured it out on my own, when I was a sophomore in high school. After watching all of Johnny Depp's films over and over, paying attention to his way of life, a certain message had begun to resonate with me;

Be EXACTLY who you are with no filter, be kind, and absolutely FUCK what the world thinks about you.

After figuring that out, everything changed. I was happy. People teased me and I decided I didn't care. I dressed how I wanted to dress (GIANT custom t-shirts, jeans, a jacket, and tennis shoes every fucking day in high school. In the seven years since I graduated? Nothing but black and white stripes). I read the books I wanted, pursued the hobbies I loved, said what I felt. I learned instruments and wrote crappy songs. I behaved how my fucking heart wanted me to.

I was gloomy and dark and REVELED in it! I was the peppiest goth bitch you'd ever seen.

When I figured out that I was gay I didnt hesitate to come out. When I wanted to drop out of college I fucking did. When I want to audition for local theatre, I do (and I get them parts, Ive even won an award and shit, it was awesome). When I decided NOT to become an actor or musician and focus on my children's books, I didn't hesitate in that either! And I didnt hesitate in falling in love with the wonderful girl who is now my wife!

Man, I'm rambling. What I mean to say is,

Johnny Depp gave me the courage to be the person I am.

And man I wish I could tell him, and thank him.

[ayesleigh]

♡ Tag 9 people you would like to get to know better ♡ 

Tagged by: @chazz-anova and @jadeloverxd Thank you both so much!  🥰

Top 3 ships

Uuuggghhh, man, I have so many it’s like asking me to choose between my children.  😛  So here are three of my ships -- not necessarily my favorites -- because I’m a dweeb who can’t decide:

The Detective/A du Mortain from The Wayhaven Chronicles. An inconvenient attraction between a reluctant bodyguard and their unknowing protectorate complete with belligerent sexual tension, silent pining, and always being interrupted right when they’re teetering on the edge of giving in to their feelings. Can’t wait for Book 2 to come out this year!

Fanny Price/Henry Crawford from Mansfield Park. Yes, Jane, I’m aware that I’m missing the entire point. It’s just that you spent the entire novel developing Mary/Edmund and Fanny/Henry, so Fanny and Edmund marrying in the end was nice but basically an afterthought. (And he’s kinda boring. And also her cousin.) Also you teased the shit out of me by outright saying that they could have been a happy couple if Henry hadn’t fucked up and boy, do I love and hate that he fucked up just when Fanny was softening towards him but he just had to do it and ruin Maria’s life into the bargain, what a piece of shit --

Eve Polastri/Villanelle from Killing Eve. Two women on opposite sides of the law who become obsessed with each other despite the damage it inflicts on themselves and the people around them. It’s dark, destructive, and certainly unhealthy, but compelling and entertaining.

Lipstick or chapstick?

Chapstick, definitely. I can’t stand it if my lips are dry and if I’m wearing lipstick I’m constantly worrying about whether I’ve smudged it or need to reapply. I usually get interesting balms over on Etsy like this sweet bouquet balm set, but I’m liking eos’ balm sticks and Chapstick’s Green Tea Mint, too.

Last song

Goodbyes // Post Malone ft. Young Thug

Last movie

I saw Joker this weekend! Joaquin Phoenix’s performance was great; the movie itself was okay.

On Amazon Prime

I have it but don’t watch Prime Video super often. The last movie I watched there was Park Chan-wook’s The Handmaiden. I think the last show I was watching was the original Unsolved Mysteries series with Robert Stack because I used to watch it all the time as a kid and I got nostalgic for it.

On cable

I have DirecTV, but don’t use it that often either. I think the last thing I watched on it was the last twenty minutes or so of the live action Beauty and the Beast.

Last book

I’m in the middle of a reread of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods (probably as part of some mourning process for the show as the first season was good but the second season was a disappointment and everything I’ve heard about the third season’s direction makes me not want to watch it at all). The last book I finished was Margaret Atwood’s Alias Grace.

Tagging: @hellomynameisdevi, @diviinitism, @shiikiiko, @beepbeepbuckaroo, @elma1993, @stroawberry, @echoes-of-a-capricorn, @darkphoenix-24, @idonia-dovahkiin. Sorry if you’ve been tagged already!

[sweeneyxlaura]

I actually was thinking about the line “no matter how much you want to find a war to die in, you are too much of a coward to find your own” and how that relates to laura and her current vendetta towards wednesday, like this actually is her war, he had her killed and used her as a pawn, and she declared she’s gonna kill him so can we still expect her going on this “war” with wednesday?

Ooh, I like your deconstructionist approach to that line. :)

If I’m understanding correctly, do you mean to ask whether revenge will still be on her agenda for S3? If so, then I definitely think so.

Aside from what you already mentioned with the Laura/Shadow conversation, they’ve definitely laid down the groundwork:

The conversation with Kali in 2.07, who strongly hints to her that Sweeney’s coin holds this mysterious “power to destroy”. It’s unclear exactly how the potion connects with Kali’s advice, but I think Kali knows Laura is dead because of Wednesday and that any kind of resurrection via the potion would de-power the coin (and ostensibly, her) and derail Laura’s chance at successfully killing Wednesday. I think there’s also a bit of Kali egging Laura on a bit because she also dislikes Wednesday. The note she slips Laura? Most definitely the location of Wednesday’s whereabouts…

The conversation with Bilquis is 2.08 again confirms Laura’s murderous plan, but perhaps that desire is even more rage-fueled now that Laura’s found out what happened to Sweeney. Bilquis also warns her: “For revenge, you have to dig two graves,” - the implication being that for Laura go down this path, her own soul will take a toll in some pretty dark ways. 

Sweeney - Whether Laura’s intent in stealing Sweeney’s body from the morgue is to resurrect him to help her kill Wednesday or she hasn’t though that far in advance, I think eventually Sweeney will be her closest comrade in trying to kill Wednesday. She knows Sweeney hates him, has tried to kill him without success, and they make a pretty kick-ass team together, so…Tall/Smol Avengers assemble!

But whether she succeeds, or even crosses paths with Wednesday again is anyone’s guess. Ultimately, I think how Laura evolves over the course of the series is important - more important, perhaps, than her actually getting what she wants. And while they’re not mutually exclusive, I’d say that Laura’s arc from the beginning has been earmarked for redemption rather than revenge; the show has only really emphasized her general unhappiness and selfishness rather than some scenario in which she was a wonderful person that had some great life before Wednesday fucked her. I think her character arc is very much an example of “it’s about the journey, not the destination.”

That doesn’t mean I don’t think she’ll be excluded from mucking up Wednesday and his plans in her own way - I think she and Sweeney (with Gungnir in tow) are basically on track to adopt Book Laura’s contribution to the gods’ war - it just won’t be as direct as I think she hopes it would be. For me, that’s fine, and if Neil’s tease is anything to go by, I think we’re gonna see Laura just getting started, and Sweeney’s death playing a big role in that: “Even in death, Laura and Sweeney are connected together, Gaiman explained, as what happens to the body of the dead Irish former king is tied directly into Laura’s journey and will be ‘one of the engines that is going to drive season 3.’”

[quipadeedoodaa]

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: General Audiences Fandom: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV) Characters: Crowley, Beelzebub, a Spider and its friends Words: 1069 Summary: Crowley does a kindness and is repaid in full.

A fun lil prompt from a discord bot 8′3 Posted under the cut too, if you’d prefer.

-

Crowley was tending his houseplants more quietly than usual, a smirk plastered to his face as he lingered over his most recent interaction with Aziraphale. Perhaps the greatest joy on Earth, for however long it would continue to last, was teasing his angel. Even better when Aziraphale, that fantastic bastard, teased back. So his uncontrolled smile could be forgiven.

The houseplants, however, were unaware of the actual comedy gold on Crowley’s mind, and shook harder in absolute certainty that one of them would be sacrificed that day.

Perhaps they would, Crowley considered. Best to keep them in line and all that. Just had to find the weakest link in the bunch and— “And what’s this?”

If the plants had hearts, they would have stopped beating at Crowley’s tone. Lucky for them, his covered eyes were looking elsewhere.

A common house spider was making a home for itself between the branches of two houseplants. The sticky threads were perfect in the untouched way of a fresh spider web. Crowley could easily imagine Aziraphale waxing poetic about the beauty in all God’s creations. But Crowley was still a demon, by nature if no longer by job description.

“I’ll not be having any of that here.” Fetching his weapon of choice—the newspaper—he was armed to destroy the webs and the damned spider who made them. “Now you know what comes next. You brought this on yourself, you know.” And knowing of Crowley's punishments only secondhand from the plants, the spider found it was frozen in fear, unable to scurry away when the newspaper scooped it up and carried it off away from the plants.

Expecting an untimely demise, the spider was shocked to feel fresh air as it was scooted off the newsprint and onto the leaf of a climbing vine, which might or might not have always been on the side of Crowley's building.

“All right, you. I’m letting you live, but you owe me. I saved your life, if it comes down to it, you save mine. Understand?”

The spider twitched. How could a spider save a human, much less a demon?

Crowley only gave a demonly grin. “Not much fun, owing a demon is it?” And he shut the window.

-

After the events of the failed apocalypse, and their successful trickery in Heaven and Hell, Crowley had thought they would be left alone. Granted, he didn’t expect to be left alone as long as Aziraphale probably did. Despite being an optimist, he was also realistic with himself. Hell, at least, wouldn’t settle for a simple scare tactic. Especially one so widely broadcast to its  depraved denizens.

Beelzebub was certain to come up with something to flip this in Hell’s favor. Once they got over the whole bathtub incident. Crowley wished he could’ve seen it all, really.

Probably for the best he hadn’t, seeing as the entire point had been to end his existence and all.

That still led him to the undesired situation of Beelzebub themself. In his flat. Threatening him.

“You’re coming back to Hell, Crowley. That izzz an order!”

“Sorry, didn’t I tell you lot to leave me alone?” Crowley said, holding on to the hope that Beelzebub hadn’t figured out their ruse and was only here to try to reestablish Hell’s dominance over him.

“Just because you can survive Holy Water doezzn’t make you indestructible. You will face your punishment.”

“For thwarting the apocalypse?”

“For making a mockery of your trial.”

“Right, yeah, of course.”

Crowley’s sunglasses did nothing to hide the full body eyeroll he made. Of course this was an ego thing. And here he was without a convenient angel to change places with.

His faked nonchalance was enough to further piss off Beelzebub and result in him being grabbed by the collar and forced towards the door.

“Hell hasn’t the time for your games, Crowley. Let’s go.”

In a panic, Crowley scrambled for the first thought that could possibly stop a Prince of Hell. “I’ll have you know, I’ve got an angel on my side! And he’s got no problems smiting you.”

“I happen to know for a fact your angel recently acquired a new book in hizz collection. If your reports were anything to go by, he’s far too occupied to worry about you.”

Crowley’s jaw dropped in disbelief. It’d been centuries since he’d mentioned his adversary’s (Well, former Adversary. Though Crowley had to admit, if only to himself, that he’d never seen the angel that way.) penchant for getting lost in his many tomes, and only once! Heaven didn’t even look at Aziraphale’s reports! How was it fair that Hell practically memorized his?

Ignoring Crowley’s strangled panic, Beelzebub forced him from his office and towards the door.

It was at this point, while trying to find an escape, that Crowley noticed something on the wall behind his former boss. A wicked grin spread over his face. “Er, Lord Beelzebub.”

The Prince of Hell groaned, as if Crowley’s voice alone were enough to cause actual harm. “What?”

Their reaction only improved Crowley’s mood all the more. “You being Lord of the Flies and all,” he said, pausing to admire something right behind Beelzebub. “How do you feel about spiders?”

“...What.” And Lord Beelzebub, Prince of Hell, Lord of the Flies, turned to the wall.

Crowley kept his eyes locked on the other demon, happy to drink in every change in expression. Confusion, probably about why the previously white wall was inexplicably black now...and moving. Curiosity? Were those…? Realization! Yep, those were definitely spiders! A whole fucking lot of spiders. Finally horror, as Beelzebub realized they’d continued walking all this time and had run directly into a densely woven web blocking the passage to the flat door.

After that it was child’s play for Crowley to slip out if his jacket, still being death-gripped by the increasingly webbed Beelzebub, and stand back to admire the spiders’ handwork. He did try not to laugh at least.

“Well done chaps, you caught the world’s biggest fly. Have at them.”

“You’ll regret this, Crowley!!”

“Eh, possibly. Still funny though. Ciao!”

As the spiders bound Beelzebub in their many webs, Crowley sauntered out of his flat. A certain angel awaited him, and the demon was determined to share this event. Minus the life sparing he knew had locked in the spiders’ loyalty. He had no intention of Aziraphale thinking him nice of all things.

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