#neither of them should see this if the universe doesn't hate my ass with a passion ok)

[angeltism]

out of the shower , feeling slightly less shit about myself (and way less like saying uncalled for immature mean things) however still dealing with the realization that I am possibly the most replaceable person in the world

[muffinrecord]

And of course Shirogane gets witch kissed so this little confession is interrupted.

Hmmm.

I'm aware that later on, magical girls in the city DO become hated and targeted for crimes, ostracized, etc. However so far that's not something we've seen. Additionally while Rabi has talked about being alone and distrusted due to her illness, it's also nothing something actual present in the text-- just told to us. So... so far it feels like the girls' are placing how they feel onto others.

Like, why would Rabi think this of Shirogane when Shirogane has given her no reason to think this? Has Shirogane ever called Rabi a weirdo, or hated her, or rejected her? I mean the girl sees Rabi staring at stars and talking to herself on a rooftop; I'm pretty sure the magical girl thing is less weird at this point.

I think instead this might be how Rabi feels about herself. She perceives herself as a weirdo, as someone who should be rejected, as someone who is hated. Just look at the way she treats stars-- points of light with no opinion of their own. She perceives them as looking through her and forgetting her. But stars didn't think that-- Rabi did.

That makes the upcoming event even more tragic in my opinion. Because these kind of feelings are universal. I have them and I'm not a magical girl who can transform into a frilly monstrosity; I'm just a regular person. I imagine a bunch of readers here also have them. And in a good, just world, we have these feelings and talk to people and realize that they aren't really true. We gain love and acceptance from friends, family, and even strangers.

But Rabi doesn't live in that world... and neither do we.

I think that being a magical girl can be seen sometimes as being similar as being in a marginalized community-- with a grain of salt, because minorities don't typically turn into witches that kill people lmao. But that sense of community, of being othered, of not being understood, of being used by people and discarded when you're no longer perfect-- that's something I think folks can really relate to when you're on the outskirts and not in the in-group.

Rambling, but yeah. Y'all get my point. Also I am taking my sweet-ass time with this and no one can stop me!

[e-dragoons]

lyric writing prompts!

... one line from every song on my spotify wrapped, in order! if you can guess the song you get... a thumbs up from me. these are REALLY RANDOM.

you mean like, like, [name] with the ass?

feel like i'm hexed

i've been looking everywhere for you

i'm not the right one you should wait on

edamame

was it something i said to make you feel like you're a burden?

i wouldn't hesitate to smile while you suffocate and die

no quiero estar aquí (i do not want to be here)

when i'm far too gone, can you show me love?

you can be the beauty and i could be the monster

a king with no crown

we are not the same

you take the full truth, then you pour some out

i died in your arms tonight

there's two sides to every story

fell in love with a girl i met in hell

we're so good at selling lies

this ain't no place for no hero to call home

i'm not okay

back on my bullshit

could i be a prisoner for the voices in my brain?

i try to tell you what i think and play it off like it's a joke

your kiss and i will surrender

c'est la vie (that's life)

don't follow me, you'll end up in my arms

i was just an only child of the universe, and then i found you

so when are you gonna sing for me?

can't turn down, i refuse to hold back anymore

would you pray before you twist the knife?

my poor heart is my only friend

i wanna know if i tell you a secret, will you keep it?

thought you were mine, love

you are everything you hated

i thought i was a fool for no one, but ooh baby i'm a fool for you

whine about it

my sanctuary, you're holy to me

numb you up until you can't feel a god damn thing

i cannot erupt, i must control

blood cold as ice and a heart made of stone

were we ever friends?

what's the worst that i can say?

everything i would give is everything you couldn't take

i'm living for you

you see, love isn't what i need as long as i can set you free

you better run

i got dreams of my own, but i want to make yours come true

i would brave the darkest night to make you a promise

i could be a better boyfriend than him

hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone

we met before but nice to meet you

if this is how you folks make art, it's fucking depressing

secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought

emptiness is safe, keep it that way

all i did was try my best, this the kind of thanks i get?

that's a red flag bitch, olé

my high hopes are getting low

if i only could i'd make a deal with god, and i'd get him to swap our places

nothing to say when everything gets in the way

everyone that tried to fix me knows that i can't change a bit

tell yourself it's never gonna happen again

you gotta be so cold to make it in this world

i'll follow you into the dark

a shot in the heart doesn't make it unbreak

you say you won't but then you do

burn everything you love, then burn the ashes

when life gives me lemons, i don't make lemonade. i use them to make you cry.

i can't do shit right, i can't learn my lesson

sometimes all i think about is you

i don't talk about it unless i make a joke about it

arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to

i think she really likes me, ask politely, can i--ooh?

best friends, ex-friends till the end; better off as lovers, not the other way around

love your eyes when you would look at me

there's a story at the bottom of this bottle

i can keep secrets that i know that you want me

hurts but i know how to hide it, kinda like it

i will leave you out to bleed

self sabotage is an old friend of mine

maybe i'm too emotional, or maybe you never cared at all

i lose my voice when i look at you

but i guess good for you

come break some hearts now, tear them out

there's really just one thing that we have in common: neither of us will be missed

and if we can't find where we belong, we'll have to make it on our own

don't waste your time or time will waste you

and as i arrived i thought i saw you leaving

it's too cold for you here and now

i don't want to be afraid

all my style, all my grace, all i tried to save my face

let's get mischievous and polyamorous

you can think that you're in love when you're really just in pain

the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me, but you know i wouldn't let it

i really fucked it up this time. didn't i, my dear?

somebody get me through this nightmare

when i start to tumble from the sky, you remind me how to fly

if you want, i'll keep on crying

take a breath, let the rest come easy

i'd rather be lost than to stay the same

have you ever wanted to disappear?

just another girl alone at the bar

screwing everything up and doing everything wrong

[biffhofosho]

I'm just curious about why do you not like writing in second person? Why do you prefer third? I see most fanfictions written in second person so I was just wondering why you made the decision to write your work in third person? And I see you posted a new Hyungwon piece, I can't wait for work to get over so I can read it cause I love all your work so much!

Thank you for this ask! I will try and edit my fiery lion as I answer even though I know I can't lol.

I don't dislike second person; I actively hate it. :D

This is really for a lot of reasons, but I will limit myself to three and then explain what I mean.

It's pointless.

It's usually disingenous.

It doesn't make any logical sense.

To point one: All writers in all of history create characters when they write. It is impossible to write an actual reader. Impossible. Period.

It doesn't matter if those annoying hair color, eye color, Y/L/N or Y/B/F acronyms are there. It will never, ever be every nebulous reader out there. Why? Because by writing the story, the author is making choices for that character that will inevitably rule out part of their audience. (Side note: authors, please don't call it a "named reader" either--that's just a character lol. Own it.)

The moment I read about Y/N drinking her morning coffee, my brain screams "Nope! Not me!" I hate coffee, can't even stand the smell. What if I'm shy and awkward (I'm neither lol), but I'm reading about Y/N trading sexual innuendos with Minhyuk? What if I don’t like wearing dresses, but Y/N is wearing a strapless ass-hugger in the club? I can’t walk in heels either. Uh-oh. What if my hair is short, but Joohoney is supposed to be running his fingers through my tresses? You get the drift. But taking out those descriptors feels like stage directions, and that’s boring af to read, which is why authors put in the details in the first place.

For a beloved friend, I once fired out a second person drabble (which feels more acceptable to me because it's like a conversation at that point), and even though I know her well, I put her character in a situation which, later, she teasingly said, "I would never ride a rollercoaster, but I would for you." Ha ha, cute, but also, see? Even intimately knowing my "you" character, I still made an untrue rendition of her.

None of that would prompt me to stop reading (nor did it take out my friend who enjoyed my drabble regardless), but I have seen some very solid pieces with borderline flame comments that say, "yOu sAiD Y/N HaS BrOwN HaIr. I DoN'T HaVe bRoWn hAiR. tHiS ToOk mE OuT Of tHe sToRy aNd i cOuLdN'T FiNiSh. YoU ShOuLd cHaNgE ThAt!"

Yeah, that was an actual comment I once saw (though the style choice is me just emphasizing my scathing tone). Rude af, and, yeah, I wanted to punch that reader in the boob for demanding something so unreasonable (ever heard of a commission???), but it underscores my point.

We don't complain about movies and television and published novels being in first and third. Why not? Nothing's ever stopped us from imagining ourselves in those OC roles before, so why the shift? A different discussion maybe, but it's something to think about.

To point two: Most writers don't even like writing in it! To those that do, I would never begrudge them their voice, but I don't think the average fic reader really knows how much authors don't like writing second person--they simply feel they have to because that's where the demand has moved.

I commission a lot of writers I enjoy, and before we strike up a deal, I always ask if they're comfortable creating an OC and writing in 1st or 3rd. Every single last writer I've commissioned (I think it's six at this point?) has said the exact same thing to me.

"I don't like writing in second, but it's what gets notes."

>:(

The thought of a writer sacrificing their artistic integrity for a heart-smash sets my teeth on edge. If you're going to go to all the effort to create an alternate universe (and, let's be real, that takes, at the minimum, hours or, in my case, years), let it be true to your voice. That's why I say, if you love writing second, do it. But I know that's not true for the vast majority of fic writers, and it aches my artistic soul.

To point three: Simply put, second person makes no actual sense at all???

If the goal is for me (the reader) to be the main character in the story, how is that to work? I don't think of myself as "you". I think of myself as "I". So shouldn't it be written in first person? Otherwise, it sounds more like I'm reading a stranger as the MC...

I don't know where this commitment to second started, but I wish I could time travel back and undo it. I've been writing third person established character/OC fanfiction since I was sixteen. I just turned 40. I will never write anything else. My preference is third for the freedom it affords (between the limited and omniscient and objective focuses, I find something tailored to suit every piece I create), but at least I understand first because I live it every day lol.

In conclusion: I have no idea how this turned out. I was trying to be equal parts tongue-in-cheek and serious, but maybe it's just kinda bitchy? My first draft was exactly the way I wanted, and I accidentally closed the tab and had to start over. :( Maybe my next rant should be on how Tumblr should have an auto-save feature...

Also, weirdly, I don't ever insert myself in a second person fic anyway. I usually put one of my OCs in (generally my bae, Wally, from "Idol Thieves" because I might be in love with that stubborn bitch). There's something weird to me about copy-pasting myself into a story, but is that just me?

In the end, I guess I'm just grateful that there are still people who can appreciate my craft the way I craft it. I'm different. I like to be so. Read second person if you want to, write it if you want to (but only if you WANT to, not because you feel you have to, pleaseeeeeeeeeeee). Either way, you will never ever find it here, and maybe that's why you're here anyway. :D

So, anyway, thanks for asking (and I'm sorry if you regret it lol)! I hope you enjoy the new story. I love it and feel like I've lived it, even if the OC is not me lol.

(Also, I already had this second pov tag in my tag list lol.)

[olddirtybadfic]

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: The Trouble Is Made Double

In which James loses his blood innocence (first kill drama) but gains a doppelganger.

This fic contains: Colorful language; possible out-of-character moments for James and Meowth; convoluted occult lore; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; ellipses abuse; original characters; blood and violence (including sexual violence); Jessiebelle slut-shames James a lot; Jessie is still dead; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James (and Meowth!) a lot in fic (and then I decided one James wasn't enough); James still has magical powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Jessiebelle kidnaps James again. Meowth meets Lenny and they both follow.

*At the dungeon, Jessiebelle has a new guard named Tyrel, who looks down at James mockingly.

Jessiebelle: Tyrel, help me find a way to punish this strumpet. James: I'm no strumpet! I'm still a virgin! Jessiebelle: I would've thought you'd sin with Tylas or Lucian. James: Don't you say their names. Tyrel: If you want, I could dig them up for you. James: I will beat the piss out of you. Tyrel: I'd like to see you try, whore-lock.

*James starts punching and kicking Tyrel. Tyrel is bigger than him, so his fighting doesn't do anything.

Tyrel: You're so soft. Will you love me like the other guards?

*Tyrel grabs James's ass and pulls him down. James bites Tyrel on his dick.

Tyrel: Get this crazy ho off my fuckin' dick!

*Meowth and Lenny come in. Jessiebelle whips James.

Meowth: He fights good, in a dirty way.

*Jessiebelle pulls James off Tyrel's dick. Meowth and Lenny get James out of there.

Meowth: That was weird. James: He grabbed my arse and called me a whore. Meowth: Now I see why you did that.

*Suddenly, a trap closes around James's leg. He shrieks.

Meowth: What's wrong? James: I think Jessiebelle set a trap and I fell into it.

*Meowth and Lenny pry the trap open and get James's leg out, somehow managing to avoid the powder smeared on it. James looks relieved until he sees the powder seeping into his skin. His eyes widen.

Meowth: What's wrong? James: It has poison on it. (winces) I'm starting to think the universe has something against me. Meowth: You and me both.

*James continues to put antidote on the poison.

James: (sighs) I'm just a bad luck charm. If life was a test, I'd get an "F." You're probably better off without me. Meowth: Don't say that. (grabs James's hands) We're stronger as a team. I will not leave you behind.

*They manage to keep away from Jessiebelle and Tyrel for a while.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Tyrel made James so mad, he did an awful thing.

*James, Meowth, and Lenny are walking through the woods. Tyrel kidnaps James. Meowth and Lenny follow them (as usual). Tyrel does everything to torture James. Jessiebelle just stands by watching and smiling at the whole scene. Tyrel grabs James's nether areas. James tries to kick Tyrel. Tyrel pushes James against a wall with his foot. James gets away from the wall and punches Tyrel. Tyrel grabs James.

Tyrel: You are a disgrace and dishonorable for refusing to marry Jessiebelle. You must be punished! James: Let go of me!

*James starts fighting like mad. He grabs the pure death knife and stabs Tyrel three times. Tyrel is dead.

James: What have I done? Jessiebelle: (smirking) Congratulations, James. Your first kill.

*James just whimpers.

Jessiebelle: You should be happy. You didn't even like him. James: I drew blood. I killed someone. Jessiebelle: And the really funny part is, I controlled you and made you kill him. (laughs)

*James snarls and glares at Jessiebelle.

James: Leave me alone.

*Meowth and Lenny drag him out of there. James is pale.

Meowth: Are you okay? James: No.

*James begins to cry quietly.

James: I hate Tyrel. And I hate Jessiebelle. (sobs) Meowth: I know how you feel.

*Meowth puts his arms around James. James hugs Meowth. They stay like that for a long time. Neither of them are thinking about Jessiebelle's newest guard.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle got a new guard. This guard really surprises James and Meowth.

*Their day starts out just like any other. Walking along, minding their own business, trying to avoid death. Then Jessiebelle grabs James inconspicuously. Meowth and Lenny follow. Jessiebelle takes James to her dungeon.

James: What more could you possibly want to do to me? Jessiebelle: Don't you want to meet my new guard? James: I'd rather not. Jessiebelle: Well, you're going to see him anyway. Evander, you can come out now. Evander: Is he here?

*Evander's voice sounds very familiar to James, but with a different accent.

Jessiebelle: Don't be shy. Come meet your target.

*A black-clad boy comes out of the shadows. James gasps. The boy looks exactly like James. The same hair, the same body type, the same face. And he's smirking evilly and James is staring at him, horrified.

Evander: What are you staring at, James? James: You have my face.

*Evander looks straight into James's eyes. His eyes are an icy shade of pale green, much colder than James's emerald green eyes.

Evander: Not exactly. I have the same Pokémon, too. James: No, you don't. You can't. Evander: You're right. Koffing and Weepinbel aren't the same as Weezing and Victreebel.

*James faints from the shock and from staring into Evander's eyes.

Meowth: What have you done to him?! Evander: He can't handle my Glare.

*Evander pimp slaps James. James wakes up, covered in sweat.

Evander: Did you have a nice nap?

*James just snarls and scowls at him in a very undignified way.

Jessiebelle: Good boy, Evander. Evander: Thank you, Master.

*Jessiebelle pats Evander on the head. Evander smiles like a dog getting patted on the head.

James: If you're so obedient, why don't you marry Jessiebelle? Evander: Because I'm helping her marry you. And I'm not suited to become the sacrifice. Jessiebelle: Leave Team Rocket. Marry me. James: No. I won't leave Meowth. Evander: Come now, the Temple Witch told you you're no good at it. James: That Temple was a trap! You disrespected Tylas's spirit!

*Evander hits James across the face.

Evander: Don't you tell us about disrespect, trollop!

*Evander takes out a Pokéball and releases a Persian.

Evander: Persian, fury swipes!

*Persian scratches James. He cries out in pain. Evander calls out an Arcanine.

Evander: His name is Archie. James: Copycat. Evander: Archie, bite him!

*Archie bites James. James screams. Evander calls back Archie and Persian. He starts beating James himself. He continues to whip James even after he's unconscious.

Meowth: Get away from James!

*Meowth slashes his way in and fights off Evander. He and Lenny get James out of there. He's covered in blood. Meowth collects some of the blood, cleans James up, and takes care of his wounds. James wakes up.

James: Is he gone? Meowth: Don't worry. He's not here.

*James begins to cry silently.

James: Why did she have to get a guard that looks exactly like me? Why did I have to kill that other guard? Meowth: It was self defense. James: That was my first kill ever. Meowth: I hate to say it, but you might have to do it again.

*James looks at Meowth, horrified.

Meowth: You have to kill Evander. James: No! I couldn't! Meowth: But if you don't kill him, he'll kill you!

*James shakes his head.

James: I'm not killing anymore. Tyrel will be my first and last kill. I can't kill Evander. Meowth: Then what are we going to do? James: I don't know. But there has to be another way.

*To be continued….

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If you keep saying "Make it double," one day a fic writer will actually take you up on it.

[amynchan]

I posted 2,891 times in 2022

That's 98 more posts than 2021!

314 posts created (11%)

2,577 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mrevaunit42

@mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess

@chaotic-cheshire

@rainbowrider1290

@amynchan

I tagged 2,191 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#mdzs - 959 posts

#wei wuxian - 496 posts

#xd - 474 posts

#jiang cheng - 355 posts

#lan wangji - 309 posts

#x'd - 231 posts

#jin ling - 167 posts

#lan sizhui - 107 posts

#nie huaisang - 101 posts

#lan jingyi - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#he plays chenqing and from beneath the wooden floors a corpse emerges screaming about how their spouse killed them for life insurance money

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

yk, I was p okay with going along with the interpretation that Lan Zhan chose 'Sizhui' because he was longing for Wei Wuxian, but what if it's something else? 'Sizhui,' according to the translations, means to remember and long for. The second half is what makes everyone go "Lan Zhan is just so in love with Wei Ying!" While that's true, the courtesy name should show what you want for the kid, right?

So, when Lan Zhan chose 'Lan Sizhui,' what if he was just saying "I want you to remember, eventually, where you came from and who protected you in this world"? He already remembers Wei Wuxian and the Wen remnants, and I wonder if it ever killed him that little A-Yuan had forgotten?

186 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#4

See the full post

218 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

#3

Everyone's got a right to their own experience with characters.

Like, it's more than an opinion. People experience things when they're faced with characters that act a certain way. Characters are often exaggerated in order to help the story along, and stories are meant to affect people, so good characters affect people. Some of the effects are intentional, some of them aren't, and it's 100% okay that people have a different experience than you.

Like, when I was watching Encanto, I was so excited for Abuela to come talk to Mirabel. To me, that was a step towards healing. Abuela knew where Mirabel had gone and had actually gone to talk to her. Not only that, Abuela was being real and ate her own words of her own volition. That was amazing for me, who doesn't see that happen a whole lot and wishes to high heaven that it would happen more often, and I was thrilled. However, my siblings, who've had older people come to talk to them when they just wanna be left alone, immediately wanted Abuela to fall into a ditch. They wanted Mirabel to get angry and stand up for herself and defend her worth and her actions.

Neither of these interpretations are the wrong way to interact with Abuela because our difference didn't mean that we instantly hated each other. Instead, it was kinda fascinating to see where they were coming from because I'd never seen someone actively coming up to you and being straight up as a bad thing, and I hope they thought my POV was at least a little interesting. We didn't belittle each other or call each other names or accuse one another of being xyz because we interacted with a set of characteristics differently from one another.

Characters are characters. Good characters—not "moral" or "righteous" or "best," but "good"—make the audience feel things.

In Fruits Basket, Shigure makes me so infuriated because I met him when I was wrestling with this gray morality thing. I know several people who love him and his conniving little ways. The two reactions can—and, tbh, probably should—coexist in this world.

In Steven Universe, when Pearl and Amethyst fight, their division makes me hurt because I've been drawn to care about both characters. There were lots of people who took Pearl's side. There were lots of people who took Amethyst's. Both could be justifiable, and a lot of people got so invested. Pearl and Amethyst made the audience feel things, and that's kinda the point.

In Modao Zushi, Jiang Cheng is an incredibly divisive character (for good reason!), but he's a good character. Some people hate him and can back that up with the text and their own experiences. Some people love him and can back that up with the text and their own experiences. It's great! It kinda sucks to see an excess of an opposite opinion, but, like, they're allowed to have that. My experience doesn't make yours invalid, and your experience doesn't make mine invalid. They're just... different.

You're allowed to look at the same text, the same character, the same story, and feel different things from another person based on that text, character, and story. It's honestly part of the fun. And if you can't interact with people who hold that different opinion (for literally any reason ranging from "this is my chill spot and I'm not about to argue with somebody over something that doesn't matter" to "the opinion I hold is tied very closely to core aspects of my personality [trauma, strongly held beliefs, etc] and seeing its opposite physically and mentally unsettles me" to "stars. not today."), then that's fine. Block the tags. Ignore. Let it goooooo (had to).

They're characters. We love them, we hate them, they make us feel things, and we sometimes do some self-reflection using them as a guide (I find that this is where a lot of anger comes from? Maybe that's just me.). But we don't have to sit there and accuse someone else that they're xyz for hating/loving/not appreciating a character.

These are stories. These are characters. They may touch on our heartstrings and make our experiences and traumas feel validated, but they do the same thing in different ways for other people. And that's okay.

We can use that to learn about other people instead of immediately condemning them. If you don't want to engage with the other interpretations/experiences, then cool. If you wanna hate a character in peace, just make sure you've got the 'anti-' tag ready to go so people don't walk into your shop ready for something they ain't gonna get.

Just... yeah. Characters, experiences, and fandoms. We don't gotta be at each other's throats all the time.

252 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#2

I know a lot of us go 'poor baby Mo Xuanyu' because of how shittily he was treated, but do we or do we all not just collectively gloss over the fact that he thought 'I am going to summon the most horrifying demon so he can slaughter my family and then I'm gonna let him loose on the entire world because I am so fucking done'?

Like, he was wrong, of course, but that was the goal, and I kinda wonder what other 'plots' he might have tried if the whole Yiling Patriarch thing hadn't worked out?

362 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I think a lot of us really want someone to have survived the burning of Lotus Pier, and I've seen some stories say that some survived because they were out of the pier for one reason or another, but something just hit me.

The Wens placed a restriction on night hunts before they attacked. All of the cultivators, including Jiang Cheng, the actual heir of YunmengJiang, were forced to stay in Lotus Pier. They were all bored out of their skulls when the invasion knocked upon their door because they were all forced to stay inside.

Everyone in Lotus Pier died except for Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian.

Because they were trapped there.

And the Wens knew because they orchestrated it.

For some reason, the massacre is one thing to me. It takes on a whole new layer when I realize that the Wen kept the cultivators there, waiting and ready to be slaughtered.

After everything, Jiang Cheng really was alone, wasn't he?

733 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rogue-ai-cat]

Forgive me, it's 1:30 AM and I just had a weird realization. Come with me for this steam of consciousness journey.

So in book 6 there's the bit about whether or not one particular SecUnit should have to broadcast some sort of alert about what it is on the feed. They eventually draw an exceptionally unproductive truce where it has to make publicly available it's name and gender, having neither. It noted that it deliberately included nothing else because nothing else had been asked for.

Also in book 6, there's the bit with one of the younger humans and a guy who was lying about his age.

Alongside the fact that Murderbot never knows how old people are

It's literally not in the feed. Nobody has their age in the feed. And that seems SUPER weird to me. Like, my date of birth is part of my legal identity. There are situations where I'm not even asked what my name is ONLY my date of birth. Hell, even my prescriptions are filed that way at the pharmacy. You'd think that would be information that governments/corporations would want from every passing stranger.

Except it doesn't matter because they already have something to look you up by: your network address. Literally the feed device itself.

This says one thing to me. There is only one "feed". It isn't a social media company or something, it's an international network protocol that apparently everyone has agreed to.

And, in this universe, that seems really weird to me.

First of all, I assume there has to be at least a "dark web" somewhere. Some kind of system where you can only get to something by having it's hard address. You can't see it unless you know where it is.

And second, there are already nations on earth who have done or are working on separating themselves from the global internet, creating an isolated proprietary internet that their citizens have to use.

And honestly, if I were an awful company in the corporation rim and I wanted to keep my slaves from escaping, I would keep them from being able to access a network that could get off the planet. Now I know physical distance is still a barrier, but with a system that fast and that everywhere, the transportation of information is nearly inevitable. What I'm saying is, surely there are people who know of a promised land, and that's the LAST thing the corporation rim wants, because if there is one thing you should never underestimate, it's what a living thing will do to escape.

What I'm getting at is the fact that all of everything is in the same network is gonna come to bite the corporation rim in the ass now that there are rogue secunits around. Talking, especially to one another, is going to be the one advantage rogues have and they're all gonna hate it (I assume).

[theflyingfeeling]

BC Survivor au? As in the reality tv show 😄 or if you haven't watched it, any other reality/competition show etc?

Ooh, yes yes yes! But..instead of the tropical location they always have in Survivor (even in the Finnish editions, except for the one during covid I think), how would you like a Finland edition? Survivor goes Lapland or something like that? :D

They all compete in the same tribe and thus sleep in the same kota

(Yes they sleep there yes it's tiny I know but humour me a little here alright, it's an alteranate universe after all and I'm making this up as I go 😅)

Niko and Aleksi immediately form an alliance and are often found plotting against the others, in true menace manner

Meanwhile Tommi is not planning on collaborating with anyone 😤 He's named as the first tribe chief

And he gets to wear a really cool bear skin that he likes so much he refuses to give it back when his time as chief is over and the production has to bring a new one to the set 🙈

Their tribe wins the first competition, which makes Joonas happy because to him the tribe already feels like a family 🥰

Indeed, Olli has to console him when they finally lose a competition (they have a winning streak in the beginning) and finally have to let go of one of the tribe members

"BUT WE'RE A FAMILY I DON'T WANT TO NAME ANYONE I LOVE YOU ALL 😭😭😭😭"

Meanwhile Joel contemplates voting himself off lol, participating in the competition was a huge mistake and he wants to sleep in an actual bed

Not that he minds sleeping next to Tommi too much. It's kinda cold in the kota at night, and Tommi is very warm 🥰

Ironically, Joel gets to be the next chief and he absolutely hates the responsibility and is this 🤏 close to actually telling the production he's going home

Tommi sees his moment and decides to break his "no collaboration, we die like men" principle and offer his advice for poor reluctant chief Joel

This does not go according to Niko and Aleksi's plans, who are planning on making sure Tommi is the next one to be voted off (he would be too strong an opponent in the end)

What Niko doesn't know, however, is that Aleksi has also made an alliance with *gasp* ROBIN 😱 Where do Aleksi's loyalties really lie?

Olli doesn't really have anyone to make an alliance with and he's kinda sad about it. Joonas says Olli should make one with him, and they do eventually, only their idea of scheming and coming up with strategies is talking about their feelings while braiding each other's hair 🥺

..which makes Aleksi realise he's made alliances with the wrong men: neither Niko nor Robin is going to braid his hair (it's getting kinda greasy (sorry for the mental image)), let alone let him braid theirs 😔

To no one's surprise, Tommi wins the challenge where they have to eat all sorts of weird foods, like worms and reindeer testicles

By winning this challenge he also wins the "untouchable" charm that prevents him from being voted off, which in this production is a crown made of moose horns, another prop Tommi's not planning on giving back once he gets his hands on it (the production is getting kind of frustrated and contemplate writing Tommi off the show somehow, but he's a fan favourite, so their hands are pretty much tied)

To no one's surprise, Joonas doesn't do quite as well in that particular challenge

At some point Joonas and Olli end up in a duel, but they've become such good friends that they're practically sobbing throughout the whole task because they don't want the other to leave 😭 and so production lets them both go ("oh my god stop crying you two, you're already out of the island"). They start a YouTube channel together after the show 🥰

Niko is Shook™ when he finds out about Aleksi's betrayal, but saves his ass anyway in the next vote-off (bye Robin 👋)

Joel and Tommi become such a power couple that, against all odds, they end up in the finale together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sophi-s]

After three days. Three freaking days.

It is finished.

A kiss to die for

By: sophi-s (me)

Words: 4,531

Franchise: Darksiders video games

Characters: Fallen!Astarte, Abaddon

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence, blood and gore, near death experience, angst, necromancy, I changed the storyline just a tiny bit for the purposes of this, Abaddon gets his ass handed to him by his ex :P.

--------------------------------------------------

Eden. The first gift from the Creator himself to the Humanity. A home for the First Ones. Once, an indescribably beautiful place full of grand trees and fresh, soft grass, flowing with cool, crystal clear waters. Colorful fruits growing in the trees, a delight to eye and tongue. Within, no danger could reach Humanity's ancestors. Truly a paradise the first humans rightfully called it. But now, after a great war that took place here, seemingly not that long ago, the great garden was left scarred and burning. Made into a tomb for those who sought to claim it. Bodies of Nephilim were left to burn and decay, forgotten and abandoned.

However, something has changed. A dark shadow passed over the sacred graveyard, leaving only madness and corruption in its wake. Those who perished picked themselves up from the ground and lashed out at Eden's guardians. Surprised and unable to respond with a coordinated defensive, the Faneguard had to call for retreat after their leader, Malahidael fell to the blades and arrows of the living dead. Amongst the scattered angels was the general of Heaven's Legions. Trying his best to keep his brethren focused and plan a tactical escape.

At least that's what he was trying before. Before he saw the cause of this nightmare. Now, outstretched on the ground in the dust, he forced himself up onto his elbow as he crawled towards his discarded blade, clutching at his chest that felt as though it had been caved in after a charging monstrosity trampled him in full speed.

How could this happen?

Fighting with his chaotic thoughts, he finally got a hold of the hilt but when he turned around, it was already too late. A large paw armed with razor-sharp claws landed on him, pinning him down and successfully immobilizing his lower half. And then his own blue eyes stared up into a pair of white ones, the same eyes that doomed him from the moment he met their gaze for the first time. The eyes that occupied his thoughts when he was awake and his dreams while he slept. Eyes of Astarte.

But what stood above him… this thing, this monster was Astarte no longer. From the waist up, the woman was stunningly beautiful as she always was, with her pale white eyes and long flowing, platinum blonde hair. But her legs have been replaced by a body of a feline beast with wings coated in blackness of corruption, feathers shimmering with red glyphs. A wicked smile was twisting her petal like lips and wherever her clawed paws fell, the dead bodies shivered and rose, called back into the accursed unlife. Utter insanity shone in her eyes.. Keeping his stone façade was no longer possible as inwardly he was falling apart. Astarte. The same Astarte who would kill and die for him, the same who he trusted more than anyone. The same Astarte he dared to love. Her smirk grew wider as she chuckled.

"Who do we have here? The great general of Heaven's Legions Abaddon himself!"

The unfamiliar taunting tone of her voice sent a shiver down his spine, as did the way she bared her teeth in a disturbing grin. Giving the large paw a tug to try and wriggle free, quickly realising it's pointless as the damned thing didn't even budge, Abaddon took a struggling breath, pretty sure his sternum was damaged if not broken.

"Astarte…"

His voice came out as a broken, pleading whisper. He still couldn't… or maybe he didn't want to… cope with what he was seeing clearly like on the palm of his hand. Astarte, his most formidable soldier, the strongest of them all, and the only woman in the Universe he felt something special for… Fallen into the vice-like grip of Lucifer's corrupting influence. Gone was the gentle smile that crawled its way up onto her face whenever she spotted him. Abaddon swallowed thickly when he noticed the spear in her hand poised to strike and carve his broken heart out from his chest. Astarte would never harm him…

"I was wondering when you'd show up."

She scoffed and used her other paw to press his right arm to the ground should he try to take a swipe at her. But they both knew far too well that he couldn't have, even if he wanted to. Astarte leaning over him was still the one his heart yearned for, still beautiful just… in a different, more horrifying way. Through the ringing in his ears after his head cracked against a rock, he could hear someone call out to him but whoever it was, they were successfully pushed back by the horde of undead Nephilim.

"Astarte, don't do it.."

He quietly begged, even though he never begs. Seeing her like this, twisted and bestial, did something to him he couldn't quite comprehend. Touched that part of his soul he didn't even know about. Strangely enough, even in her madness, Astarte must've sensed something in him that gave her a pause as she curiously tilted her head to one side. All the moments, even the shortest ones, he'd spent with Astarte in the past were flashing before his eyes. Every time they had one another's back in battle, every time one saved the other's life, every time they spoke about the things they would never tell anyone else whenever they were alone. And that memorable moment when they stood together, away from the prying eyes that moonlit night. Abaddon was listening to her as she asked him if what she feels is right, if there's any possible way he feels that way as well. He almost laughed at her obliviousness and the fact that his love was there before she even realised her own. Of course.. He took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes, absolutely mesmerized, waiting for permission to finally grant her the proof of his love and devotion, one which she silently gave him with a nod and a smile.

"I would walk through the fire of Nine Hells for you."

He said before leaning down to place a chaste kiss on her lips. A kiss, stolen kiss he was dying to receive. It was very brief but still felt like his first flight over the White City. Liberating, wonderful and equally as intoxicating. Those were the most beautiful memories he'd ever made but now they were like a parasite buried deeply into his brain, one that refused to leave his head, reminding him of better times and cackling maniacally at him as the present was coming undone before his very eyes. He wanted those memories to go. But there was no escape. Neither from them nor from Astarte herself.

"Look at me.."

"I am."

"Please, come to your senses. It's not you.. You need to fight it, I know you have it in you. Don't leave me like this… Don't you remember everything I'd done for you? Everything you'd done for me ?"

For a second, Astarte's grin fell, making place for a thoughtful expression and for this short second Abaddon dared to hope that there's still light in her. That he somehow managed to get to her. But all these hopes were taken away when she shook her head and looked at him… not with anger. It was pity, plain and simple as she spoke in a condescending tone.

"Fool. So loyal and righteous. Look around! The war had ended long ago, yet we remain stranded in this forsaken tomb! We've been abandoned and no one will set us free if we don't do so ourselves! Don't tell me you cannot see it."

He couldn't believe his ears. It wasn't the honorable and just angel he used to know. The Astarte he knew was gone. This was a twisted monster bearing the visage of his dearest, taunting him with her beauty that was always keeping his hand paralyzed whenever he tried to strike her even though his life depended from it.

"I have chosen my path, Abaddon. And you can walk it with me.."

Abaddon eyed her hand warily as she stretched it out to him, offering him help in standing up. He was torn. On the one hand, he so, so wanted to accept and be with Astarte as he used to. No one would take her from him ever again. But taking her hand would also mean slipping into the hateful darkness. Welcoming the sullying blackness inside and succumbing to madness. Straying from the light and forsaking his duty in favor of the same accursed power that destroyed her.

It was a dangerous thing, this love.. Pushing even the most reasonable people to do unthinkable and dangerous things in the name of it. More often than not at costs that rarely make it worth it. Lucifer knew this. And he used it as a weapon against Abaddon by turning Astarte. He knew not what the Dark Prince offered her but it must've been worth losing oneself. Astarte was now Lucifer's servant, not the love of Abaddon's eternal life. He couldn't… he couldn't end up like her. His already bleeding heart screamed out with anguish when he finally gathered himself to speak.. and refused.

"I… can't do this, Astarte. Not even for you…"

"That's a pity…"

Abaddon grunted in pain when the pressure on his wrist increased to the point when he could feel his bones beginning to crack. And then as suddenly as it appeared, the crushing weight was gone, both from his arm and his chest. But he wasn't free. His breath was abruptly cut off when Astarte's slender fingers, which often fiddled with his hair when he had a moment to lie down and rest after a hard day, looking up at her sitting beside his head, before all this, mercilessly curled around his throat and lifted him up to her eye level until his toes could no longer reach the ground. She was strong. Stronger than he remembered. His left hand grasped Astarte's wrist as he tried to struggle free while he raised his sword to attack. But… looking deep into her eyes, at her face, mouth curved in a poisonous sweet smile, the silken skin of her cheeks… His hand trembled. Once again he proved her and himself he doesn't have it in him to do this. Damn it all. This one, seemingly harmless emotion was what ultimately led him to his own doom. If he'd never fallen for Astarte he wouldn't be here, flapping his wings madly in an attempt to wriggle out of her hold. But he couldn't command his heart. It would not listen to him.. Abaddon couldn't simply stop loving Astarte. Her eyebrows furrowed in a gentle frown and he felt the tip of her gilded spear press insistently against his abdomen, right under his ribs. Cold sweat began to bead around his brow. Oh Creator…

"Fret not, love.."

Astarte purred, making him finally stop beating his wings and look her in the eye again only to see an unsettling spark in there. Despite the obvious danger, hearing her call him her "love" in this deceivingly sweet voice still made his racing heart skip a beat.

"It won't be long.. And when you die, you'll be forever at my side. Just as you desired."

As a monster, not unlike her. A living corpse that defiled the natural order by its existence itself. He didn't want to go like this. What an end it is for a general of Heaven? Killed by his own lieutenant and brought back to life as a shambling husk of what he used to be? Preposterous. Cold lump of fear settled into the pit of his stomach. He could only count seconds. One.. two… it didn't even come to three when the blade sunk deeply into his flesh, piercing the armor as though it wasn't even there in the first place and running him through. After all, the spear was created specifically to fight armored opponents… Abaddon wanted to scream out in pain but the wail of agony was cut short by the firm grasp on his throat that stopped the air escaping his lungs. Pain clouded his vision but did not silence his racing thoughts. He was weak. He couldn't strike Astarte down as his enemy, denying her the well deserved rest and falling to her blade like a fool he felt like. He struggled to breathe and keep his eyes opened when he felt Astarte loosen her ironclad grip on his neck and move her hand to his face, oh so gently pulling the strands of his hair, matted with sweat, to the side and behind his ear before placing the same hand on the back of his neck to keep his head still. He gasped for air through his opened mouth as blood was beginning to well up in his throat and dribble down his chin. And then Astarte unexpectedly leaned in and decisively captured his lips with her own, granting him the final kiss for a farewell.

Abaddon's eyes widened in fear and shock but even though the pain of the spear through his side, he found himself going slack in Astarte's arms. His ornate blade clattered to the ground when his fingers unfurled and let it slip out. No strength remained within him to even try and respond to Astarte's lips, even if he wanted to. But what he hoped to be his last comfort turned out to be nothing more than a cruel torment with how cold and meaningless the kiss felt. It was nothing like the one back in the White City. Hollow seconds ticked by. It tasted only of the blood flooding his tongue and the bitter defeat. No love, no passion and no feelings remained in her black heart. Only the empty void and tasteless ashes… Monster. Astarte no longer… She would never hurt him…

Astarte knew him and all of his weak spots all too well. She knew how and where to strike to make it hurt. And this last kiss was only a tool to her. There wasn't any physical pain anymore when she finally pulled away with his blood painting her lips in deep crimson and let his body slip down the spear to collapse onto the shriveled grass. The last thing Abaddon saw before numbing darkness swallowed him was Astarte delightedly licking his scarlet life essence on her mouth and teeth before she hummed contentedly

"Farewell, my love. I'll see you again soon enough…"

She stood close, gazing at the distant stars shimmering in the black sky.

"The night sure is beautiful."

"It is. Even more so with you around."

"Tsk. Sweet-talker…"

In the impenetrable black, Abaddon heard nothing, saw nothing and felt nothing aside from the dull ache within his chest. Betrayal… Every beat of his heart was a torture. He couldn't even tell if it was really beating or not anymore. It bled ceaselessly. Craving for the lost love. Crying out to Astarte as something started to tug at the strings of his very soul. Trying to pull him free from his still body that refused to move no matter how much he wished to stand or at least sit up. Memories were passing all too quickly through his head. Eyes shining with uncertainty, a relieved smile as he staggered upright with a pained grimace that was supposed to be a comforting smile..

" Are you certain everything is alright? For a moment there I was afraid you were gone.."

"Never, my light. I would never leave you."

He wasn't going to the Kingdom of the Dead, he was certain. Astarte would make sure of it.. Curse Lucifer.. curse this wretched feeling still coiled in his chest, like a festering plague. Warriors of Heaven are people of unbreakable steel. Calm and collected beings of logic. But when it comes to honest feelings, there's nothing in between. They either don't care or love to the death. And when they love and it all falls apart, their hearts break like no one else's. No, they don't even break… they shatter to a million pieces like a frozen flower. And even if they are ever put back together, they're never the same. Those scars run too deep to ever disappear. Curse everything… Soft hair he tangled his fingers in, a heartbeat right beside his… warm presence next to him and a misleadingly delicate cheek pressed to the skin on top of his chest..

"What happens now then?"

"Doesn't matter. As long as we stay together."

"We will, Abaddon…"

He tasted the copper tinge of blood again as Astarte's voice echoed in his head when she swore to him. When he believed her..

I  P R O M I S E .

Those two words… They meant a world to him. Even after he saw what Astarte had become… Abaddon desperately clung to those words like a drowning man holds onto the final breath until the very last second. And that was his downfall. She promised me…

The last memory of Astarte before all this chaos wormed its way into his mind. A less pleasant one. He could see there was something wrong with her back then. This was the first time they had a true falling out. Well.. can this really be called a falling out if it was just him being yelled at? Astarte was changed already. Something happened to her after the Nephilim slaughter. Something he had foolishly overlooked. Maybe he was just too preoccupied with his own grief? Blood tumbled down from her wound, painting both her and his armor in vibrant red from where a crude spear met her body… 

It didn't take long for the last of the Nephilim to fall when this happened. She held onto life tightly as he led her deeper into the garden where healers would take care of her. Abaddon waited outside the tent, pacing back and forth until Azrael, who'd been tending to Astarte himself, walked out. A slender hand fell onto his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks and making him look at his old friend bearing a sullen expression. He'd never been so terrified in his life like in this short moment when he waited for Azrael to inevitably tell him that it was too late to help her but he merely asked Abaddon to come with him inside. Somehow, it was even worse. He saw her sitting on the edge of a cot, face pale, lips pressed into a thin line, staring at nothing. Eyes of other angels were on the three of them as the two archangels walked in. It was a relief to see her alive but there was no doubt that something was wrong. The patches of fresh crimson staining her trousers on her inner thighs only confirmed his suspicions. And Azrael didn't keep him waiting for an explanation.

"She was with child.."

The news hit him like a slug to the face. With a sack of bricks no less. Astarte, his beloved, bearing his blood in her womb. By all means he should feel ecstatic. He should rejoice. But this one word, this tiny word filled him with absolute dread. Was.

"The blade went deep.. There was nothing I could do. I'm sorry."

Who knows how long he stood there like a wooden stake? There was nothing I could do. Azrael was inarguably the best healer in the White City. He knew what he was saying. And yet… Abaddon found it difficult to believe his words. A child. His child. Died before they even had a chance to live.. It hurt more than any wound he'd ever received. When he finally could move, he approached Astarte and sat beside her, reaching for her hand to give her something to hold on to. But her violent reaction caught him off guard. She jerked away, her words dripped like acid.

"It's your fault. Get away from me!"

"Astarte, listen.."

"No! It never should've happened! Why would you do this to me?!"

This was the first time she called him per "you" in the presence of other angels. He knew not what she was truly going through but if his own sorrow was any indication, it must've been a nightmare. They'd lost something they didn't even know they had and it felt like the end of the world they'd built together. In a way, it was... Abaddon tried reaching out again but Astarte batted his hand away and leaped up to her feet despite the pain.

"Don't touch me! Do not speak to me, get off!"

"Astarte!"

He managed to call out before she stormed out of the tent, wrapping her wings around herself as a barrier that could protect her from the world around. Were it not for a firm grip on his arm, he would've gone after her. It was Nathaniel who stopped him. Abaddon looked at his friend, the right side of his face wrapped up in bandages just like his side he was keeping his hand over.

"It's not going to help. Let her go for now."

It's been a long time since he felt this lonely. He left the tent without another word, ignoring whatever it was Azrael was saying, and walked away from the camp like a wandering spectre who lost its way to the Well. And when he was far enough, he found himself collapsing on the ground, angrily hitting it with his fist as though it was the culprit here. They died without so much of a name.. Abaddon knew that what Astarte said wasn't true. He had no idea, it can't have been his fault… and yet this thought kept bothering him.

I should've protected you better. I have failed you.. both of you…

It took a couple of shaky breaths to collect his thoughts. Unable to do anything else, he pulled himself to his knees, clasped his hands together and started to whisper a prayer, seeking compassion in the Creator and his silent presence.

Astarte was already slipping after that and the prolonged stay in Eden only made it worse. She became distant and irritable, constantly itching for a fight, be it with words or blades. He thought she needed time to grieve. But this was something else. Something more sinister. Perhaps if he noticed it earlier.. done something… If only…

The odd tugging suddenly ceased and moments later a wave of comforting warmth washed all over him, gathering in his side where he was impaled. Deep within his chest, he felt his heart quiver, desperately fighting to keep beating. At first he thought he was merely waiting for Astarte to pull him back into the land of the living as a detestable abomination but no.. He yet lived. His thoughts were abruptly dispersed when he heard voices, very familiar and concerned voices, break through, the buzzing in his head.

"Did that do it?"

"Is he even alive ?"

"Hard to tell. It doesn't look good.."

"No, it doesn't.. Do you think we got to him on time?"

"I do not know. I'm not even sure if- Wait, I think he moved."

Abaddon indeed stirred, prying his eyes open with no small effort, immediately regretting his choice after a far too bright light intruded underneath his eyelids, and descending into a fit of uncontrollable coughs, spitting out all the blood that remained within as soon as he took a deeper breath. Pain. Horrible, excruciating pain filled his chest. He had been right. His sternum was definitely broken.

Damn all of it. Damn Lucifer, damn the Nephilim and damn the blasted air that hurt his lungs with every breath. Mist eventually fell from his sights, revealing to him familiar, tired faces of angelic soldiers leaning over him with distressed looks. His men. The Faneguard. They survived. Some of them at least… Malahidael wasn't so lucky.. One of them, Fariel if his memory doesn't deceive him, was holding up Abaddon's hand in his, and held between his curled fingers, Abaddon noticed an emptied crystal, a used up healing shard glimmering in the sunlight as the energy that was channelled into his body began to close the torn blood vessels.

"Lord Abaddon. Can you hear me?"

Gasping for another bit of air, horribly weakened but still very much alive and likely to stay that way, Abaddon gurgled out a disturbing sound that was supposed to be a miserable chuckle. In honesty, it sounded more like a dying demon than a laugh.. It only served to agitate them even further until he breathed out with relief and nodded as no coherent word could form in his mouth. What happened to Astarte when he was on death's door, he could only guess. But one thing he was sure of. She was still out there. Raving mad and dangerous to all who step into Eden. The law was clear. Astarte had fallen into darkness, defiled the dead and raised her weapon against her brethren. This was not an easy decision but after what he'd seen and lived through, Abaddon was certain now. He tried to bring her back, save her from the hate that grew within her like a malicious weed. But she was clearly too far gone. He couldn't help her.. Too late. As always, he was too late. Whether Abaddon likes it or not, Astarte needs to die. There was nothing more he could do for her. But he won't be the one to play the executioner and the hand of justice. He knew he couldn't. He'd failed twice already.. It will be done, just… not now.

Perhaps another time… They were safe for now. And he needed to think… Abaddon lifted his free hand to his mouth. It was still there, this horrid sensation.. and he knew it won't go away for a long, long time. Resting his head against the ground, he exhaled heavily as blessed unconsciousness started to take a hold on him once more. He needed to rest. They all did…

Even as he was falling into the dark again, he could still feel Astarte's venomous kiss upon his lips. Burning like fire and sinking cruel claws into his chest. Would he ever forgive her for tearing his heart apart? Probably. It wasn't her fault after all. It can't be, can it? Would he ever forget, though? Unlikely.. Abaddon couldn't help but wonder… if it was all his fault? He couldn't command his feelings and order them to leave him. But still, he felt guilty. Not even for Astarte's fall anymore but for ever letting this infatuation control him. That's where this love had gotten him so far. It left him weak and vulnerable. It was beautiful while it lasted but now? Only suffering remained.

No wonder Heaven has such a disdain for love. It causes naught but misery and ruin. A dire thought invaded his hazy mind. It matters not what Astarte had done. He still loved her. Soon, she will be put to rest. And him? Well.. Every, even the greatest warrior has to fall in battle. Eventually… And when that day comes, he will be ready to embrace his end. When that day comes.. they will meet again. Maybe... But until then… His heart hastened even still as he took another breath and silently told himself…

…Never again…

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It.. it was supposed to be short? I did say short fic, didn't I? Uhh.. Whoops 😓

Also, Gimp 2 has nearly succeed in driving me nuts. In Poland we say "stand on eyelashes and clap one's ears" when something is nigh impossible. Yeah. That was that.

Btw, I take back everything I said about Abaddon's shoulder pads , they're mf'ing gorgeous 👌

[bangtancentricsblog]

○ red devil ○

➣ the beast from another realm loves a mortal meta human

❒ pairing: min yoongi x reader

❒ genre: fluff, slight angst

❒ alternative universe: hellboy au (tbh idk if I managed to really covey it)

❒ rating: NC 17

❒ word count: 1.3k +

warnings/disclosures: yoongi has a tail, he is indeed red (hence the nickname), mc is institutionalized, the cats have no names, almost smut scene, hellboy yoongi, meta human fire user mc, cameos from human retainer Hoseok, fishman namjoon, Yoongi’s father Seokjin *cough*

monster mash ml • main ml • AO3

It’s dark out when Yoongi makes his way across town, the darkness is his friend after all because people wouldn't take kindly to seeing him in the daylight. He’d rather not be the subject of yet another scandal, especially if his father has anything to do with it. He shivers at the thought, he hated when that old fart gave him lectures especially when looking so damn smug. If anything he much rather prefer the lectures from his know it all amphibious friend Namjoon. His destination is in sight, the building is shrouded in darkness but if he knows anything it’s that you are already waiting for him. He tries not to acknowledge the grin that tugs at his lips, but it’s there.

Your room in the west wing of the facility, basically abandoned compared to the east. He knows it’s because of your powers, it’s for the safety of the normal human patients. His father had gotten them to allow you to keep your cats with you, your children you had liked to remind him whenever he snuck out to see you. He missed those furry little shits but he missed you more. He’s quick to climb the fire escape, one that leads right to your bedroom but also the roof. He can feel his tail flick behind him as he climbs the ladders higher and higher and then comes to a stop on the roof.

Candles flicker as the soft wisps of wind that brush over his cheeks, your back is to him as you sit on the futon spread out across the bed sheets to protect it from dirt. He can hear the soft purrs of the cats that sit in your lap without even looking. The soft crunch of gravel under his boots catches your attention as you glance over your shoulder at him. You smile at him all soft and dreamy just like he’s used to, the cats dart around your body rubbing themselves against his legs as he closes the distance between you.

“Hey.” you breathe softly.

“Hey.” he mimics and this time when the smile splits his lips he can't help himself. He kisses you soft and sweet just how you like. Hands cupping your cheeks, as he presses closer, you sigh taking his lower lip between your teeth. He groans pushing you slowly so you're on your back and his weight rests comfortable against you.

“Missed you.” he whispers, twining his fingers with yours and squeezing gently.

“Missed you more Red.” you mewl spreading your thighs to get him closer. His tail swishes behind him as he shifts again pressing his body tight to yours to really feel the softness of your thighs, and how your body cradles him. You’re empty hand moves to tangle in his hair pulling just the slightest as you kiss at his jaw.

“Want you.” you whine nipping at his neck playfully.

“I know baby, want you too.” He’s kissing you again before he nuzzles your temple, the cats have joined you on the futon rubbing themselves against the two of you. You giggle happily turning your head to kiss them as one of them butts their head against your cheek. Yoongi laughs along with you, wrapping his arms tight around you so he can roll the both of you onto your sides. The soft press of your breasts against his chest reminds him just how long he’s gone without seeing you.

“The babies ruined the mood.” you murmur into his chest.

“Hmm, I don't know about that.” you smack at his chest playfully with a scoff reaching out to pet at your calico that manages to slip in between your bodies comfortably. He’s holding you close pinky resting just above the swell of your ass as he sighs heavily coming to the conclusion that he’s been effectively cock blocked by your furry brats. Still he loves that he can spend this time with you, because he just misses you so much.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You.” he breathes, meeting your gaze. There are tears in your lashes and you blink rapidly to try and clear them. They fall anyways as Yoongi coos at you rubbing at your back to sooth you, it works as you begin to hiccup. He’s raining kisses across your face, the salt of your tears on your cheeks are bitter on his tongue and he wished he could do more to comfort you.

“Hey, shh, c’mon don't cry it makes my eyes sweat.”

“M’sorry, I don't like it here.”

“I know baby, but this is for your own good. Just hang in there a little longer.”

“How much longer? I wanna go home.” He doesn't say anything else, just pulls you closer because the truth is he doesn't know how much longer you have to stay here. Hadn’t agreed when Seokjin had admitted you to this facility, but he understood the reasons why he had done so. You were young and struggling with your powers, and spontaneous combustions were a hard thing to explain especially when they were so frequent. The cats, all three of the fur balls hiss at something or someone who has come to interrupt your moment.

“Yoongi, ___.” Hoseok says in a clipped tone. You peek over Yoongi’s shoulder at Hoseok, and he smiles briefly before sighing heavily.

“Always the faithful dog Seok, what does the geezer want?” Yoongi asks miffed.

“You need to get home, and ___ you should go back to your room. The staff is lenient but not that lenient.”

“Sorry Hobi, is Jin mad?”

“No, but he will be if this one doesn't get home soon.”

“Do I have to go? I can stay with her, just for today.” Yoongi whines.

“I’m afraid not, your father wants you home now. To be perfectly honest I’m shocked to even see you made it here unseen.”

“I’m stealthy like a cat.” You burst out laughing as Yoongi looks down at you. You don't mean to but he’s been the center of attention since you’d been admitted. Always caught by some amatuer or security camera as he made his way to see you, and at first you’d been upset because he could get hurt. Then slowly you’d found it funny because how had he gotten caught so many times? It was almost like he’d made it his purpose. Hoseok lets out a chuckle quickly covering it up with a cough murmuring about how cold it is.

“Yoongi please can you just listen to me for once?” Hoseok almost begs because it's always a struggle to get him to leave your side.

“No, not when what I ask for is something this simple.”

“___, will you please say something to him.”

“Can I go with him?” you add rather unhelpfully, but your tone is so hopeful he just wants to give in and say yes. Instead he opts for something a little more helpful to his cause.

“I wasn't supposed to tell you, but you’re being released the coming week.” You dart up and out of Yoongi’s hold, eyes widened.

“Really?” you ask excitedly, as something sparks around you. The cats are quick to leave darting away from the futon as your body ignites and you gape happily at Yoongi. He stares in wonder and not for the first time as the blue flames engulf your being. It’s beautiful as it always has been the shifting colors that wrap around your being, he startled out of his thoughts when you throw yourself at him again. He’s lucky that he and the futon you lay on are flame retardant.

“I can’t wait to go home.” you laugh and cry into his shoulder.

“Me neither.” He whispers into your hair. Hoseok is watching the two of you embrace and he wonders if he should tell Yoongi that he’s been seen, again by some kid with a disposable camera. Well he guess the news can wait until the old man is yelling at him for it, he doesn't want to ruin the moment after all.

[negrowhat]

Ok firstly, absolutely LOVE your blog! So hi, I'm Bethany 😊 I see that we're mutuals and we reblog each others stuff a lot of the time. Just wanted to make a formal introduction. Also I've totally mentioned that we're friends irl because of that. Hope that's cool 😬. But what I wanna ask is WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS WRONG WITH P'THANU?!?!?! Like I get that he doesn't wanna hurt Wayu more cause he might have feelings for someone else (also the whole Wayu confusing him for P'Pha thing.) But like come on, who is this kid and how does he have feelings for him?! They met like what twice? Also that age gap! Imma have to call a timeout on that one ✋🏽. But yeah just wanted to know your thoughts.

HEY BETHANY! I’M EBONI! And we have been mutuals for a long time so we’re practically friends at this point anyway! Feel free to continue to tell people that! Also I feel like this will be a long post and I wanna be considerate of other people so let me insert a page break. 

Next, FUCK THANU! I don’t like him. Unlike Thanu, Wayu has been at least forthcoming and transparent about things between the two of them. Even when Wayu kept mistaking Thanu for Pha’s trifling ass he apologized and made sure to explain to Thanu that his feelings for him had nothing to do with Pha.

Meanwhile Thanu has been deceptive with Wayu since Day 1. I’m not saying he was being malicious because he wasn’t. But the ONLY reason why Thanu was even hanging out with Wayu in the first place was because he promised Pha’s ain’t shit ass that he would “look out for Wayu.” Like what the fuck even is that? Since Kit refused to babysit anymore, Pha sent in Thanu instead.

The whole ThanuPhai ship is very weird to me. The soulmates thing legit came from the leftest side of the field. I thought Thanu and Wayu were vibing and they were definitely making it seem like it was becoming a thing. Like, we was getting scene montages and everything. I feel led on lol. 

Phai is a sweet boy and he reminds me a lot of Phu from TTs2 but his and Thanu’s soon-to-be-relationship doesn’t fit in with what little plot this series has at all. Why introduce a supernatural aspect in the last few eps of the series anyway? It’s so random and unnecessary. 

Also I can see why the age difference can be a little iffy but I’m assuming Phai is at least 18 and Thanu is 23 or so. So at least they’re both adults, but still very iffy because of how apparent they made the age gap. We’ve only seen Phai in his high school uniform and we know that Thanu is at least a 3rd yr university student. 

I honestly wouldn’t have such a huge issue with ThanuPhai if it didn’t come about in such a stupid way and if the whole situation didn’t make me dislike Thanu all together. I don’t like that the people around Wayu likes to baby him. I get it he’s cute and smol, but he’s not a child. The way they try to “spare” Wayu’s feelings irk me so, so much.

I hate that Thanu recruited so many people to help him avoid Wayu. They’re both grown ass men. I get that Wayu just had his heart broken, but he’s not a child who needs to be handled with kid gloves. 

JUST LIKE WAYU TOLD THANU. IF HE WASN’T VIBING WITH WAYU LIKE THAT ANYMORE THEN HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM. Got Wayu running around campus like a fool and it’s not even like Thanu was doing a good job of keeping Yu in the dark. Wayu could tell since before the cruise trip that something had changed between him and Thanu.

The whole avoiding Wayu thing was ridiculous and highkey immature. He had practically ghosted my boy at that point. I don’t like how Thanu did Wayu. It’s one thing to be afraid to talk to him and let him down, but it’s another to get EVERYONE ELSE involved and have them lie to Wayu as well. 

Wayu is once again cast aside by a person he liked and once again there’s secrecy involved and a BUNCH of other third parties doing all the dirty work. All this has shown me is that Thanu and Pha are exactly the same type of person and neither of them deserve Wayu.

Wayu is a good boy and deserves the very best and I’m always on his side. No hate to the ThanuPhai shippers because I don’t want to put down another ship at all. I. JUST. DON’T. LIKE. THANU. 

But Phai is a sweetie. (SweetiePhai 🤣🤣🤣)

[lokaneiscanon]

Mighty Thor in Thor: Love and Thunder rant

Seeing Natalie Portman returning to reprise her role as Jane Foster, nevertheless wielding Mjolnir, finally getting the treatment this character deserves, was surreal to say the least. I had just started reading Lords of Midgard, the 8th issue of Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018), and had fallen in love already. But I didn't suspect at all that Taika Waititi would pull this card in Thor: Love and Thunder, considering Jane was barely mentioned in Ragnarok. The news about my favorite actress portraying one of my favorite characters coming out of the blue - you can imagine the excitement. Alas, I quickly remembered what the fandom thought of that comic (at least on tumblr) and imagined it now growing tenfold, cuz not everyone in the MCU fandom reads comics but pretty much everyone wants to watch another Thor movie. And yes, many fans weren't ready for this step, still recovering from Sam Wilson getting the shield in Endgame. Which is completely fine. We're not obligated to like everything Marvel throws in our faces, we're allowed to criticize and express our opinion on the internet or wherever. What is not okay is mindlessly hating, and even worse - using false facts to support said opinion.

I have seen some people using the argument that it is one of Marvel's worst selling comics. Which has already been proven wrong by multiple sites, including Comichron, just Google it, as I did myself. I read multiple posts, ones saying how good Jane is doing as Thor in sales, others disproving this, so I checked for myself the numbers at the site mentioned above month by month to be sure. The comic truly had its downfalls as the story progressed but in my opinion it's normal for the 1st issue to have more sales than the 21st. If we compare it to Unworthy Thor, which started running a bit later and followed the now unworthy Odinson, the data shows the latter had more sales. But then again, while Might Thor was at its 17th issue, Unworthy Thor was at its 2nd. Also, they later crossed paths, shared comic issues, it's fair to say they go hand in hand and Jason Aaron, the author, probably doesn't want us to compare them, as they complete and compliment each other's stories. Still I decided to check the comic that made Thor unworthy in the first place - Thor: God of Thunder (2012 - 2014), which seemed to me more "comparable" to Might Thor (2015 - 2018). *I keep putting the years it was being released so as to not be confused with previous Mighty Thor issues, whole Odinson was still Thor, please bear with me* So yes, the numbers were pretty close, but from what I saw, Mighty Thor had the upper hand if we compare first issue to first issue and so on. (In defense of Odinson, we have to take into account that this data is only from the US and does not include digital sales. Also, he's been around since the 50s. We could argue Jane was a breath of fresh air that some Marvel fans were indeed ready for. As a non-American, and also a person without a hint of knowledge in economics I cannot take into account inflation and whatever else has prevented or enabled Americans to get their hands on the comics or has affected prizes through the years. Bear that in mind.) Moreover, from what I saw on Comichron, both comics had much competition - God of thunder was released along with Avengers vs the X-men, the Uncanny X-men, pretty popular at the time, and the Goddess of Thunder faced Civil War 2 and DC Universe Rebirth (yes, DC is in the game too), also dominating with tremendous sales for the longest time. Yet I stick with my original statement - both Thors are valid and shouldn't be put against one another regardless of profit. Because at the end of the day what will matter the most is the story. And boy, what a story it is.

Now, I haven't read the Thor: God of Thunder, but as I was doing research I found one very well written summary and explanation of Thor's arc and his becoming unworthy and I will post a link below, because I honestly feel I wouldn't be doing this comic a favor by describing it without having read it. Which I plan to do in the future, tbh. It's a fantastic prelude to the Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018) that I've come to love. First, I'd like to ask you all to stop hating on the comic without having read it first. It doesn't make any sense and being petty for the sake of being petty won't benefit neither you, nor anyone, really. Now, about the comic itself - the art is magnificent. It's just gorgeous. Mighty Thor isn't , thank all the gods, sexualized, she is pretty buffed and generally looks like a warrior. As it is with the other characters, I dare say. The background truly captures the essence of every world Jane finds herself on. Action scenes are just the right amount and balanced with dialogue well. On a side note, it's pretty funny to read/listen to in your head the Shakespearean English cursive in which Jane talks as Thor. The plot line branches beyond this comic, starting from Thor: God of Thunder and leading to the War of Realms. And it is elaborately built in every issue. You don't know what to expect, yet it makes sense when it happens. Which leads me to the characterizations. My God, what a treat Loki is in this. Clearly, my opinion is kinda biased, since he's my favorite character, but you never know which side he's on. What his motivations are. And it just feels so... Loki. His writing is brilliant. Almost makes me forget what the MCU did to him. Also, he gets some daddy time with Laufey (not as kinky as I make it sound). Frigga/Freyja is just as awesome as in the MCU, even more, at least in the comics she calls Odin out on his shit, who btw is I guess an asshole in every version and universe. Malekith, the main villain, is unbearably despicable, I want to tear every page he is on. He really was mishandled in the Dark World, if you want some true action with the dark elves, you are welcome to enjoy. I saved the best for the end - Jane Foster/ Might Thor. Now, if you think Dr. Foster spends her time boasting about her worthiness and how Odinson is just called Thor, but she is Mighty Thor, you are horribly wrong. She just... does her job. Because the hammer chose her. Because there's no one else to do so. That's it. If you think there's some feminism involved, yes, there sure is, but it certainly isn't the reason Jane became Thor in the first place. It was not the creators going SJW because it's trendy, as such a mindset is honestly offensive to any descent creator with any self respect, but a well thought out story arc, which, I repeat, you have to read the comic to understand. Jane is not at all whiny about the hate she gets in-universe, not only from foes like Odin and who-not, but from Shield and generally people whose asses she's saving. Her having cancer is not something they pulled to provoke sympathy and make her look like a victim - on the contrary, she is a damn hero and a victor. I don't want to give out spoilers, but her being Thor is actually a giant sacrifice that no one really appreciates (both in-universe and in the fandom). She is not Thor to prove she can be, or just to prove "women can be heroes" - she doesn't have to. She is simply needed by the realms and so she does her job, even though she is called a thief, persecuted and generally hated. All that matters is that the hammer finds her worthy - the beauty and simplicity of that fact you will find out, for the last time, if you read the comic.

I'm not making you read the comic or watch Thor: Love and Thunder. I myself don't know what to make of this film yet because there's barely any information about it. I only know it will be based on the comic so that's a reason for my hopes to be up already. On the other hand, since I didn't like Loki's characterization in Ragnarok, I'm not sure what to expect from Taika. There are valid reasons to not like the idea of Jane returning to the MCU as Thor, which you are entitled to. However, reasons such as "why does everything have to be political these days" are not. Because if I had to make a list of everything politically related in the MCU, it would take forever. Steve Rogers kills nazis is the most blatant example. Make of it what you want. But I think we're far enough into the 21st century to realize art and real life are not that separable. It's undeniable that art affects people and that is to say, people everywhere. And they all have different opinions and aren't gonna like everything media is offering to them. And I wish I could simply tell you not to watch the movie but I'm a Marvel fan too and I understand that I can't just take away Thor from you because I want Mighty Thor as well. But none of us can stop Marvel from producing it. So, to quote an image I saw recently, I don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people. Let the rest of the fandom enjoy what they want to enjoy. Yes, ik I can play around with the tags and avoid posts that unnerve me but, for example, I'm looking up Mighty Thor fanart, which obviously isn't anti-Mighty Thor, yet I get attacked in the comics for anticipating a movie that doesn't even have a full cast yet. Ik I'm not asking for too much when I wish to get the same internet experience (not only tumblr, but also insta, YouTube, Twitter, any site) as the Thor Odison fans, for example. I'm aware I cannot stop all the toxic fans and the trolls but I hope this post has inspired those of you who simply can't envision Jane as Thor, or don't like Natalie Portman in the role, or whatever eles personal preference that doesn't involve political issues and isn't harmful to the community, not to attack every post on your dash with hate. The movie is called LOVE and Thunder, for God's sake. (on a side note, is a franchise that is too afraid to show LGBT characters for more than 1 minute so as to not lose profit from China, THAT politically correct)

Anyway, that was a veeeery long rant, sorry to whoever reads this but, like, please, I put effort into this, hoping this time around I won't be the only positive reviewer of a movie, like I was with Solo: a Star Wars story (yes, I'm still bitter about this), which was boycotted for no apparent reason but was a decent film in reality, and I'm only bringing it up because it has a similar experience to Love and Thunder for getting hate before even being released. I'm not defending a billion dollar company that flopped in box office once, I'm defending the viewer's right to media they are interested in. If you don't like the character, remember - that's your opinion, not a fact that the character sucks. Kudos.

Not very easy to navigate, I advice you to do the research month by month individually for comics you'd like to compare. Also, if you happen to find more reliable data, pls say so in the comments.

Here you have the summary and explanation of the greatness of Thor: God of Thunder, Jesus, I'll go bankrupt if I buy this one too.

Yes, I want to end the sales dispute once and for all, I'm tired of seeing it on my dash. This guy probably explains it better than I did.

@awesomejenlawrence you said you'd like to read this and I delivered

[sicaminion]

—Kise hates his smile.

“Yo, Kise.” He looks up and finds Aominecchi has this annoying, cocky smile plasters on his face. He looks down on him, slightly, because he’s annoyingly taller (only by few inches!) and it makes him regrettably too smug for Kise’s liking.

“You late. I’ve been waiting here for more than 2 hours,” he grumbles, jutting out his lips because that’s what he unconsciously does when he is annoyed.

“I told you not to wait on me,” he retorts easily. “I messaged you so don’t get all grumpy on me now.”

“You messaged me by only 10 ten minutes before! Are you seriously thinking it’s that easy to cancel an official meeting like this?”

“Calm your tits blondie, don’t be so stiff now. I’m here, alright.”

Kise glares and he glares hard. He can tell his face gets all red now. “You know what? You’re—“

“—an ass,” the smirking male drawls, smugly stealing Kise’s words from his tongue. He smiles so innocently it gets on Kise’s nerve. He opens his mouth to snap on the bluenette but the latter is quick to cup on his cheeks, making the blond snaps his mouth shut.

“I’m sorry,” he says with an intense gaze fixed up on him. And then he smiles, that damn heartbreaking smile of him that always without fail electrified him, makes his skin all tingles and his breath shortened.

Kise stomps his way as he tries to escape from Aominecchi’s clutch, cheeks red and lips bitten in frustration more at his own self than at the other.

Kise really hates his smile.

×

—Kise hates his hairstyle.

Aominecchi keeps his hair uncut in university. For some unknown reason the lazyass bluenette decides to roll on with a longer, wilder style even when Kise knows he thinks it’s annoying because every time the now longer fringe dropped to his forehead he'd shove them with this tiny scowl on his face. Sometimes he'd mess with it or swapped it aside (also with this irritated mini furrowed eyebrows that Kise might or might not find kind of maybe slightly adorable.) He would also scratch the top locks on his head with his claws from time to time and then Kise would have scrunched his nose whenever the latter did so, he'd told him that if his head itched he should have shampooed it more. Aominecchi then would either gets him in a headlock or ruffles his hair.

“If it annoys you why you keep it long?” he asks when the movement getting all too distracting for him.

Aominecchi looks at him and shrugs, messing his hair once again.

Kise then would keep staring at him. More specifically, at his hand and gets stupidly jealous of it because he desperately wants to do the job. He wants to replace that hand and run his own hand through the other's hair. He wants to reach out and play with the strangely soft looking locks.

.

“You said I should try to keep it longer.” He hears Aominecchi says after a while of pause.

“Huh, I did?”

“Yeah, I think I might try and see if it suits me.”

Yes, it does. Kise coughs and looks the other way. “Don’t cut it, then.” Keep it long (and maybe, just maybe, he would have a chance one day to run his hand on it.)

×

—Kise hates the way he made fun of him.

“Oh my God,” Aominecchi gasps between his laughter. Kise hopes he’ll choke up and drop dead on the ground any minute now.

“What an epic fail! Oh yeah, you really gets the hang of it, alright. You’re the best.” He continues with his unnecessary comment, even still as breathless as he is at the moment.

“Shut up.” Kise grits his teeth. He bows his head and tugs on the bluenette’s jacket sleeve closer, hoping that the other’s larger figure can somehow hide him from people’s curious eyes.

“I have to admit that when I see your confidence declaration I was sold for a moment right then. What was it again? Oh yeah, I can do it Aominecchi,” he says, mimicking Kise’s voice. The blond is clearly unimpressed at the unflattering copy the bluenette makes of him, “Who do you think I am? There’s no way parking a car could be harder than beating your ass in basket.” Aominecchi then snorts and adds; “Now I know you suck at both.”

Kise stomps at Aominecchi’s foot because it is what best he can do in the middle of attempting to escape from the scene. But Kise did stomp quite hard and he is very satisfied at himself when he hears the tanned skinned male yelped in pain. “Do such thing once again and you’ll have to drive yourself home after this.” Aominecchi darkly mutters.

“Is that a threat?” Kise squints his eyes, looking particularly at Aominecchi’s other feet contemplating if there’s some other way he can step on the other one as well.

“Seeing how you successfully bumped every single ones of the traffic cones, scratched the innocent, unmoving car on both your sides, and hit a huge-ass tree in a straight path… yes. It’s a threat for your own safety, genius copycat.”

.

Kise vows to get the paint job of Aominecchi’s car scratched and totally ruined later on. Unintentionally, of course.

×

—Kise hates when he treats him like a girl.

Sometimes Aominecchi can easily gets on his nerve when he is, in fact, only trying to be kind.

Like when he accompanied him to shop the previous weekend, for example. “Here, trade the bigger bag with mine.” He said. “Actually, just lemme carry them all, you look like you’d swoon anytime now.” He added which made Kise bitched, of course, because seriously he isn’t that weak and just because he is paler than usual—because of the terrible heatstroke—doesn’t mean he is going to swoon like a damsel. (So “No, thank you,” he replied.)

Or that one time when the college’s clinic doctor said he was anemic and should had been better taking a rest from his part-time modelling for at least one week. The blue haired male wouldn't let him escape his eyesight and after watched the few times Kise almost going to fall down—actually, it was just two times. He counted—he’d insisted he’ll carry him to his apartment. (“Fuck it, Kise. I’ll just give you a piggyback ride,” he stated.) But Kise was stubborn so he strongly refused—it'd be goddamn embarrassing damnit. Knowing he had fainted and got carried away in a bride style to the clinic was already embarrassing enough he wished the earth would open and swallow him, letting himself get carried when he was very much conscious was another different level of humiliation. Thank you very much, but nope.

.

But then one day, Aominecchi’s current girlfriend is sick. She gets a fever and the clinic doctor tells her she could leave earlier if she felt the fever getting worst. She milks the best out of it (like any typical college student who doesn’t have the motivation to stay for the class would do in such opportunity) and takes a leave.

“She’s definitely faking it, of course.” Momoicchi mutters beside him. They’re sitting on the picnic sheet the girl has brought with her and lay on the grass in the College yard, studying for a subject they luckily shared the exam together, “When Dai-chan and I visited her in the clinic she looked absolutely fine except for the slightly flushed face, she’s just making Dai-chan carry her around to make Togano-san believes she’s indeed too sick to participate in the class.”

Kise smiles a tight, small strained lips kind of smile—because he too, thinks the same like Momoicchi. He watches as Aominecchi and his girlfriend—fitting snugly in the bluenette’s hold—approach them. The girl smiles as she looks down at the two of them and sighs softly, cheeks flush in a pretty, feminine shade of pink.

“Daiki always treats me like a princess,” she gushes aloud. “He looks rough on the outside but he would offers such sweet thing that only I get the privilege to.”

Kise refrains himself from saying anything and from the corner of his eyes he can see Momoicchi does the same. Neither of them saying anything to reply the girl but Kise has, with an irritation he doesn't really understand, keeps a note to himself that the next time Aominecchi gets all annoying again by offering him sweet thing like piggyback him or anything stupid like that, he’ll let him do it and makes sure his girl knows about it.

×

—Kise hates how he criticized his job.

“You’re scrawny Kise.” He hears Aominecchi's comment as he flips the few pages where Kise’s photoshoot of recent modeling for a jeans printed on. “You look like a toothpick.”

Kise eyeballs the bluenette wishing if only the imaginary daggers he sends at Aominecchi could actually really give a sting on his wide forehead. “Whatever you say, Aominecchi. But for your information everyone in the studio praised my body.” He says defensively.

The ex-Touou ace puts down the magazine and gives him a once over. “Meh, they don’t have good eyes, then.” He drawls and then as to prove a point he casually strips and throws his shirt at him.

“Asshole,” Kise grumbles.

He quickly looks the other way so that the other won’t notice the embarrassing red shade creeping up his face.

“Kise,” he hears Aominecchi calls after a moment of silence between them. He hummed as to makes him know he listening. “Have you ever thought of quitting modeling before?”

Slightly taken by surprise when he heard the strange question, Kise pursed his lips before he replies. “Um, I have a small fleeting thought once in awhile. Usually it’s whenever I was feeling particularly worn out after the job but the thought never stays for long.” He shrugs. “Why suddenly the weird question, Aominecchi?”

“You should quit.” The bluenette says with a ridiculously straight face. Kise frowns. He’s going to say something—ask him why, maybe, but Aominecchi beats him. “All of your poses are silly.”

Kise huffs after he hears that, his jaws tightens in irritation. Aominecchi always makes fun of the job he’s been doing since junior high school. He’s been indifferent at first—after all, what he cares solely in his silly teenage years is only basketball (and a gravure idol who’s photobook he’d never missed)—but getting older and wiser as time passes by the male has finally put interests in other things that isn’t his favorite sport. He’s putting more concerns on his friends, make an effort to actually hang out with them, and honestly Kise couldn’t be any happier for that. However, when it comes to the potential of bullying Kise the other has never hesitated any bit, and while his mocks are mostly teasing sometimes it can get hurtful too. Kise has long since learned to just rolls with it.

“All of my poses are none of your business Aominecchi. You’re not the one who paid me for the job, so I don’t care whatever your opinions about them.” Kise snaps and then winces at how bitter he must have sounded to the other. It’s not his character to get angry at Aominecchi’s barbs. Between the two of them he prides himself to be the more level headed one.

But he can’t take the words he has spoken so confidently now, can he?

Next he realized Aominecchi hasn’t said anything after his snappy comeback yet and even though Kise doesn’t have the guts to look at him and whatever expression fixed on the bluenette’s face he feels a small surge of pride blossoming inside his chest for finally standing up for his own self. And also for finally be the one with the last words between the two of them.

×

—most of all, Kise hates the way he gave a sincere 'sorry'.

It’s been a month and between three upcoming fashion shows and an offer to make his debut in the newest edition of W’s Japan Kise has not yet got the chance to talk with Aominecchi after their latest argument. It’s been quite awkward after he delivered his blow to get back on the other’s mocking comment regarding his modeling works and strangely Aominecchi didn't throw any comeback retorts until he'd gone home soon later that day.

“Do you think I’m being too harsh when I said his opinion don’t matter?” Kise asks Momoicchi after he’s finished telling him about their last encounter. They’ve been in phone call for almost an hour now. They’ve became so close with each other since the starts of freshmen year, having shared few same classes and known each other since junior high school. They enjoy each other’ companies and share many similar taste. Momoicchi has something in her that makes it easy to discuss almost everything.

“No Ki-chan, I think you did the right thing. Dai-chan could really be so arrogant sometimes and it’s nice that you tolerate his flaws, but you can’t let him step on your feelings either.” Momoicchi has assures him and it really makes him feeling all better.

But after they decides to say goodbye for the night and the call has ended, Kise lies on his side, the gallery on his phone showing the recent photo he has taken with Aominecchi in Murasakibaracchi’s Halloween Party last week. They have their cheeks pressed together as they grinned widely, ear to ear, faces flushed because of the Pina Collada and Aominecchi has one of his arms on Kise’s hip as the other tugged on the bunny ears on the headband he’d been forced to wear.

Suddenly Kise misses him.

And as if on cue, the said bluenette’s caller id pops out on his screen.

With wide, startled eyes Kise gazed at the flashing screen for few seconds not doing anything, before he finally snaps out of it and quickly picks up the phone.

“A-aominecchi?”

“Kise,” a deep voice, somehow with a touch of relief in it, answers him. “What took you so long, dumbass?”

Kise recognized the usual teasing tone the other is using and he smiles, “Mou, it can’t be that long.”

He hears few chuckles and then there’s silence before Aominecchi talks again. “Hey, uh... listen, I want to say I’m sorry, Kise.”

Kise’s heart skips a beat. “Uh, for what?”

“For making you upset,” the other replies easily. “Because I did, right? Upsetting you, I meant.”

Kise feels like he’s thrown to another realm. He can’t believe Aominecchi has just apologized! Well, it’s not that he’s that much of an asshole—no matter how people may thought of him—Aomine is, just like everyone else, also capable of feeling guilty, apologetic, and even remorse. He just usually not chooses to openly admit it—not verbally at least.

He prefers to act on it. Like suddenly bringing a box of donuts without being asked to or offering to help on something he normally won’t do.

If he says sorry he says it to tease. It's definitely not like this.

“Kise? You still there?”

“Oh, yes! I— sorry I just—” Kise bites his lips.

Damn, he can’t contain his grin.

×

—Kise hates Aominecchi, .......well, maybe not completely though. It'scomplicated.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Alex: candy don't even know what to handle

Candy: mom foiled our kidnapping plans once again but then she got them kidnapped in the first place because we fell in her trap to get it done?!? Ugh. I need to be more like mom!

Alex: she didn't say it like that before, she called you a bitch, old hag, dumb ass, double crosser, traitor, submarine ship silencer. Everything but Good. Nice to see you there Candy.

Me: i love my kids streaming up like an old steamshuo. Means they're getting somewhere in life

Candy: you always tell us we've arrived!

Me: then you go somewhere after you do

Candy under her breath like all soft: bitch

Me: where your husband at? Should you not be having sex someplace?

Candy: sure so I can get pregnant again to have a kid smarter than me

Me: you're hard to trick candy, I had to work with criminals and allow them to create crimes in order to trick my own children.

Candy mutters random shit.

Me: but for real when is it the last time I did that?

Alex: never babe. You never let the world go to shit so bad

Candy: im trying not to laugh but even the tree went Uhhh

Tree: let me calculate again. Yeah never. So yeah This is pretty amazing.

Me: im pretty sure i got something in your drawer to confuse the rest of your victkms

Candy: in 1988, 19987, 2003, 2019

Me: 2016, 2017 and 2018?

Candy: Yeah "just give up Candy all will be alright. We don't need to continue kidnapping anyone."

Me: Unless we want to. Look in your drawer.

Candy: ok fine! But you aren't negotiating their release this time! Alex is! Besides dad you need practice.

Me: i know. He was really cheap huh. Especially since he was paying his own tree and dad and kids

Alex: i should had realized that at some point but i Didn't. I never realized the point or who the kidnappers were. I was lost as Hell. Until i realized it was some,exotic shit for her birthday. Babe you better watch out. Were gonna kidnap you soon. Im almost positive

Tabitha: If we like you.

Me: lock me in a puzzle box

Alex: that you designed no less and back trick us again next thing we know we're kidnapped and we're liking it and you tell us we have to decide what to do. Stay or not

Me: no im forced to tell you I'm kidnapped due to fear and then that I'm the kidnapper and it's your job to figure out which If either I am.

Alex: you know the answer. Babe don't. Babe, don't please im gonna cry.

Ivanka: why what's the answer?

Alex: im writing down not kidnapped on my paper.

Ivanka: so she's the kidnapper.

Alex: im writing no to that

Me: you can tell it Alex

Alex: saving your mom from death. Neither. A completely different thing under a disguise of a game.

Shante: and you think I'm gonna post it?

Me: doesn't all evil believe it's stronger than me?

Shante: but why give them a head start

Me: because then it's fun

Alex: babe. Quit im laughing

Shante: okay i think i get you. I will allow it to post

Tree: YESSSSSS! ALRIGHT YAY.

Alex: what the fuck does he have to do with it?

Me: idk I just know the side of innocence

Tree: my turn to control evil. Its my turn to keep the world safe! I'm a real bad ass Jackie Chan! Middle School Style

Alex: you plan this without me?

Me: you're the one that liked scorpions and i got stung

Alex: unh unh unh unh unh. You did it didn't you. Solved the world's problems with and without love. You did the hate phase. Woah. I never did one of those before. I always wanted to.

Me: you're welcome in advance then

Alex: oh shit! She mother fucking did it! Solved the world's problems! Candy! Eat something man!

Tababatha: I was just thinking mom went to the store and the world changed overnight. For so many people. Millions and Billions. We were told the truth in,her old school ways. I'll do anything for you even,if it's my fault I'll fix it and now they say Irs the ending

Tabitha: i should had known about that with the calander. Sorry about that guys, you may go now. Unclone. Mom didn't need as much help as I thought.

Candy: thank you mom.

Me: of course.

Candy: did she not say you're welcome? Whars next? Who drew a turtle on my paper and said it's me?

We all know tree. Hes too fun, just enough.

Me: a turtle always takes its home with him. Home is where the heart is kid, and you drag it along no matter where it is you go.

Candy: well thank you mom

Me: you're welcome.

Alex: Cruz is all "i just woke up to a fucking miracle." All his mechanics drive his cars. Never him. He,rarely drives.

Me: we can have team racing then, 6 months of the year split. Then it will run the same score it does now but a better ending

Alex: are you shifting me? You know that is illegal and were not supposed to do that?

Me: and the races I said last night we will add 10 to and so your team can run relay.

Alex: two?! We are gonna get 2 prizes?? 1 individual and 1 team?

Me: yeah baby.

Alex: fuck yeah. You want my birthday happy or what?

Me: it's been awhile since i gave anyone presents. So yeah. And Happy Birthday Chandler

Chandler: it's gone. Its all over. Its his now

Me: yeah he don't matter. Its all about the babies he always says

Alex: remember Clifford? I didn't want a dog. You did. Those 2 boys. I wanted them but you wanted them more. You see Chandler, a dad's love really goes deeper than the ends of the Earth. 2 universes or 2 planets. That's why i got you a dog even though she said no and she did. Remember I said that to you? And you said it better be the biggest dog in the world. Those weren't my birthdays we were laughing about. They were yours. You got whatever you wanted. The world's biggest boy. Shaquille

Shaquille: i was that boy. You wanted to save me Chandler.

Candy: I see dad

Alex: You wanted to help your mom save this world. Just yourself. You and you alone and your mom. You get your wish i mean that. That's why you were born to Jesse. Only you were able treat your mom right enough to be able to win with her, no one else.

Candy: mom did you even say I can't have a dog?

Me: i said we saved people not animals and i didn't have time for anything but people. In fact I saw on your Insta you had dogs I didn't know about for years and i said to myself, "who said she could have dogs? May be her dad. Probably. Although she's all grown now i bet he would. To spite me" why would I say that stupid shit If it was not true!!

Candy: oh my God mom. I remember you saying that and I thought "oh my god here it is what? 8 billion yesrs later and I'm still in trouble" and i even asked "mom is it alright I have dogs?"

Me: and I said "what? Oh my God of course as long as you take care of them. Are you taking care of them? You are aren't you?"

Alex: 2019! And it broke my heart!

Candy: and i said "I'm such a dork! I am taking care of them!"

Me: and i said it doesn't mean you're a dork. Taking care of them means you're a good person. A good human especially when you're so busy with work and travel and all you have to do.

Alex: we're gonna have dog races, i know. I know i am.