#never thought i would be this invested in williams but here we are

[takkamek]

logical business decision as alex is more likely to score points but they're screwing over logan whose seat is already in danger and his confidence will be worse because of this. not to mention the tension this causes in the team, no matter how alex will perform, which--

they're also putting all this unnecessary pressure on alex to perform well enough to justify this move. what if he doesn't get a point, or bins it this weekend? then his confidence and reputation will take a hit as well.

so williams must be super confident that they're going to score points here, because i don't see why else they would risk this move

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: november 2023

hiiiii, sorry I'm late! I know we're a week past November now, but I've been busy! and struggling to pull my mental health out of an absolute crevasse! I think I've mostly made it at this point, but unfortunately my month of seasonal affective woe did leave me with a pretty paltry reading list for the month of November :/

not that I have a quota to hit, but I'm getting back into reading with a PASSION now and I'm hoping to get a few more really great novels in before the year ends!

what have I been reading?

Exquisite Corpse (published as Poppy Z. Brite, currently known as William Martin, 1996) - man, you guys know how I love a fucked up little story about some nasty freaks? this is a FUCKED UP story about the NASTIEST freaks. gay serial killer Andrew escapes a life sentence in England by faking his own death and flees to America, where he lands in New Orleans and promptly meets a man named Jay, who is - holy shit, what are the odds? ALSO a gay serial killer! they get along like a house on fire, setting their sights immediately on a beautiful young runaway drug deal name Tran who has his sights set on Jay. but Trans' ex-boyfriend, Luke, a bitter writer turned pirate DJ dying of AIDS, is also up in the mix, complicating things for everyone. the tone is unrelentingly gruesome but beautifully written and frequently funnier than should be possible. certainly not a book for everyone, with about every possible trigger warning on the table, but god. WHAT a ride. I savored every second.

Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity (Devon Price, 2022) - any hype you've heard about this book is absolutely worth it. Price is really exemplifying the excellence that comes from in-group writing, the magic that happens when people with firsthand experience living a life outside The Norm infiltrates academia and get the credentials to be recognized as the experts they are. I can't speak to the experience of reading this book as an autistic person, but as someone who's often the token allistic among my friends it clarified things that I had never even thought to wonder about with straightforward, accessible style and firsthand understanding. also, hey, it's so cool to see a book just straight-up advocating for autistic people to get more autistic and worry less about appeasing the allistic people around them. Dr. Price writes great advice, and I strongly recommend checking out this book and more of his work here. reading this also made me absolutely feral to check out Price's first book, Laziness Does Not Exist, so expect notes on that soon!

Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture (Sara Petersen, 2023) - listen, we can be honest here: that title is too long. but the read is worth it, even if I do have some mixed feelings about Petersen's messaging. she's not a momfluencer, but she is a mom who has been and still is very invested in momfluencers, letting that fascination fuel this book's creation. I found Petersen a bit too quick to come to the defense of influencing as a profession, which could grate. yes, women influencers are often the targets of a particular hostility that certainly stems from misogyny. yes, it certainly is true that being a full-time Instagram poster on top of raising living human children requires a lot of time and effort, which I guess does make it a "real job". but there are lots of "real jobs" that I disrespect on principle, and influencers are certainly on the list. Petersen has analysis on the stark hegemony of momfluencers, particularly the insidious white supremacy that controls which mothers are seen as aspirational, and she's certainly not lacking in self-reflection about the role momfluencers have played in her own parenting decisions, but it would have been nice to see more pushback on the concept of influencers existing at all, not just creating space for more diverse moms to take up the title. having said that: the chapter in which Petersen reflects on her own mother's lifelong dissatisfaction and grapples with learning to see her mother as a person, rather than just a perfectly happy crafty homemaker, was one of the most riveting things I've ever read and attacked me right in my own maternal baggage. she's a chatty writer who sometimes pulls back the conversational curtain to say the most haunting shit you've ever read in your life, particularly if you're like me and regard motherhood as a sort of horror movie scenario.

Unfortunately Yours (Tessa Bailey, 2023) - god, more like UNFORTUNATELY THIS BOOK, am I right? Unfortunately Yours was November's romance novel, which I finally got around to reading after it was gifted to me this summer by my housemate who clearly hates me. I already bitched about it at length in this month's hater roundup over on my Patreon, but god. jesus christ. I've had a lot of fun reading romance novels that are pretty charmingly crappy, but Bailey just fucking sucks. this book has it all: incessant references to the size difference between our hulking he-man protag and his itty bitty love interest, WEIRD gender dynamics, the most half-assed alleged "enemies-to-lovers" I've ever seen (they just kind of don't get along, it's nothing), convoluted fake marriage, "witty" "banter" that really reads like Bailey has never heard two clever or funny people talk to each other before and has to guess, and some viscerally upsetting sex scenes including one that takes place IN THE MIDDLE OF A FLASH FLOOD. also, the male protag is a war criminal. nobody ever shuts up about how he's an ex-Navy SEAL, but they never seem to want to talk about what SEALs actually do. might be kind of a boner killer.

what am I reading now?

The Bandit Queens (Parini Shroff, 2023) - I started this novel a couple days ago and I'm absolutely devouring it; I've got about 100 pages left and cannot wait to see how the story resolves. it's tremendous fun but also hits on emotional depths that I didn't expect going into a black comedy about rural Indian women killing their husbands! I'm very excited to finish it up and talk about it in my next recap; I think it's one of my favorite novels of the year for sure.

Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror (edited by Jordan Peele, 2023) - I meant to read this for October but oops, there were too many holds at the library! regardless, the stories have been nothing but bangers so far.

Small Game (Blair Braverman, 2022) - I haven't started this novel yet, but it's been on my list for a while and after listening to several of Braverman's guest episodes on You're Wrong About in a row, I had to check it out. her episode on the Flight 571 crash in the Andes almost had me in tears; cannot recommend it enough.

[miiilowo]

hey, same anon from earlier here. Idk if you’ve thought of it but, do you have any thoughts about a fnafsb ruin rewrite? I like hearing your rewrite thoughts btw :] I think your ideas are very neat

i dont have any thoughts about a ruin rewrite exactly, but i do have ones for just the base game! so ill. share that here ^_^ sorry if youve alr seen me ramble about this specifically but its more simplified and straight to the point than my previous posts ab it anyways

my copycat killer vanny au is less of an AU and more of a "what if steel wool . didnt. do that: a collection of ideas" and so SB being different is a big big portion of it

First off, lore wise, I'd completely remove william. as much as i love him, im tired of his corpse being dragged around much like everyone else. This means no glitchtrap. Fnaf VR would be non-canon, and purely just be a compilation of games and have ZERO story implications. so it'd go straight from ucn+ffps -> security breach. the pizzaplex would exist because of the fazbear ent franchise package (the same one michael got in FFPS)

Vanny would be a true-crime obsessed freak failwoman who gets a little bit too invested in the missing childrens incident and mr afton as a result. she is homocidal. and unwell. after months (possibly years or more) of being obsessed with william and the murders, she sees that the pizzaplex is hiring, and takes her chance!

In one of the SB endings you can see that theres multiple already missing children listed in a newspaper. I'm sure you can see where im going with this

So. Security breach. My first course of action would be to solve the glamrock issue-If theres no glitchtrap, theres no reason to be aggressive. my solution to this is making it so they have a night mode where they try and find any patrons still in the building after closing time and alert the security guard ((think of all the vloggers posting WE STAYED OVERNIGHT IN THE PIZZAPLEX!?!?!?! (WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT) videos)). this is bad because the security guard is vanessa

I think for the beginning of the game, we have gregory being caught by her straightaway. he would be upset, but not have a reason to really fear her; afterall, shes just some nightguard. she can take care of him and make sure hes safe, right? lure him into a false sense of security. i want her to bring him to a room (perhaps the vanny hideout in sb), say she has to leave and that she'll be right back. from here, the lights will go out (she shut them off + put on her little murder getup + disabled the security cameras). Now, going back to the missing kids, i like to imagine shes a bit of a freak and hasnt stuffed any of the bodies into the suits yet because she wants to wait until she has enough victims and then do it all at once. Gregory will either see blood or smell a corpse in the vanny hideout, and manage to escape through a vent. from here, the game will take place in the dark. vanny will peek around corners and from railings, always watching you but never quite catching up except for some chase sequences because she likes toying with her prey [which will eventually be her downfall]. You try to avoid her and the animatronics.

Glamrock freddy is a problem. I dont want the glamrocks to be as sentient as they currently are, so i think making them be a sort of shitty chatgpt AI would work wonderfully. It means that glamfred could be very, very, very unhelpful at times, and would leave room for uncanny interactions as well as funny ones, which fnaf is sort of known for. the funnies. the sillies. the jokes. the "dont poop on the floor"s. He would be programmed to protect children above all else, however, so he isn't in night mode like the others are.

In security breach, theres a really fucking good cut plotline about glamrock freddy. After getting all of his upgrades, when vanny disassembles him, he turns against gregory, and becomes an antagonist. i cannot stress enough that this USED TO BE IN THE GAME. we have lines of gregory crying and shit. i would 100% keep this in the SB rewrite. its at this point he would shift into night mode instead of just succumbing to the mind control stuff like before. thatd happen either about 2/3rds of the way through or halfway, with a few stretches of time where freddy either isnt cooperating or is unavailable like in the OG game beforehand

outside of that, i would make the pizzaplex smaller, grimier, and dingier. not the same levels as fnaf 1 of course, but the only super clean areas would be like. the atrium and dining areas. fazbear ent is neglectful and unsafe, the vents and rooms patrons dont go into typically arent gonna be super clean. the kitchens probably only get cleaned when they know a health inspector is coming. lets be real

id also love a heavier focus on liminal space sort of enviornments in the pizzaplex. its an empty 80s themed mall! its the perfect setting for it! they kinda sorta did it in the daycare, but didnt fully commit, and id LOOOVE more areas like that, because in the dark theyd be 100000x more unsettling. the only lighting would be very dim neon lighting for ambience and a flashlight i imagine, maybe one on gregorys fazwatch

i dont have a lot of plot points rounded out overall, just some concepts id throw in there, and i especially dont have an ending planned out. ive never been too big on the sci-fi elements fnaf took on around SL and the release of the books (been a fan the whole 9 years!), so trying to figure out an ending that would lean into ruin and making ruin....not like that . would be a whole. Task. a fun task, but a task nonetheless. i do like ruin quite a bit unlike SB, but it wouldnt mesh well with everything else i have going on here and would be bit out of left field i thinks

[observeowl]

Her Assistant | Chapter 17 - Attending School

Summary: After losing her family, Natasha Romanoff builds her company from the ground up. During the rise of her company, she decided she needed an assistant, one that works in her office and her house. That's when she saw your resume. After working five years for her, how was it like working for her? Or more importantly, how things progress?

Series Masterlist

Natasha POV I thought by the time Fury was done briefing me with the details of the mission, Y/N would have entered. There was no sight of her ever since she stepped out of the room to see The Williams out. Did she send them to the airport, that's why she's taking such a long time?

I exited my office and was instantly met with Y/N leaning against the wall talking to someone on the phone. I didn't want to interrupt and was planning to leave until I heard her laugh. This made my head turn as she was invested in the call with whoever she was talking with.

"Come on Vic, you can't do this to me. Just tell me already, don't keep the suspense for too long." She whined. She freaking whined. I've never heard that from her before.  Who was she talking to? "How about this? Drinks this Saturday?"

Sensing her conversation was coming to an end, I decided to walk towards her, acting as if I wasn't standing there for some time already. When she saw me walking closer, she ended her conversation quickly and kept her phone in her pocket. "M-miss Natasha."

"Let's go for lunch. Not sure if you knew, but Fury came by earlier." I walked ahead of her and pressed the button for the elevator to the garage. Y/N said that Bucky told her that Fury was here when she came back after seeing The Williams off. She didn't want to interrupt the meeting so she waited outside until she got a phone call from Victoria who just came back from overseas.

"W-what- why are you doing my job?" Y/N stared at me as I stood at the driver side of the car.

"I'm driving this time. I'm trying to woo you, remember? You gotta let me do some stuff for you." I said and she finally gave me her keys. "Besides, I haven't driven this new car yet."

"Don't wreck it." She said as she got into the passenger seat. I drove to some fancy restaurant, probably not what Y/N would have liked but I needed the privacy it offered to discuss things that Fury had given me.

We ordered our food and talked as we waited for it to arrive and continued even after it arrived. I heard Y/N chuckled a bit and I raised my brow amused at her reaction.

"I'm pretty sure there wasn't a mission for you in grade school. Fury wanted you to accept the mission in college because it would seem like a better option than the former." I tsked when she revealed. It certainly seems like something Fury would do. I should have done better at avoiding this. He should have given this mission to Stark instead. I heard he recently got a new protege, Peter something, who was pretty clever for his time. He should be the one assigned on this mission, seeing how he was still studying.

"I was thinking if you'd be the one attending."

Y/N's head shot up to look at me. "I don't think that's a good idea..." She said before returning her gaze to her food in front of her.

I don't think it's wise to push so I said. "I guess I'll have to act younger than my age then. I thought of sending Wanda, but she's going to be busy with the new project. It wouldn't be bad to have Fury indebted to me. The only problem is the school term has started and I'm not sure if there's any vacancy left."

"If there's no space, make space. Isn't that what you said?" Y/N smirked at me as she said.

>time skip<

The most important impression is the first impression. But I'm clearly failing it as I was standing in front of the four prefects.

The governor's son, Derrick, naturally went to a prestigious school. We ain't going to comment on the method he used to enter such an elite school, since he probably wasn't the only one doing it.

Back to the issue at hand, it was because I stepped on the lawn that the prefect surrounded me. I could hear murmurs as other students hinted that I was going to get in trouble.

"What's your name?" The guy with long blond hair spoke first. He's the most good looking amongst the other four. A womaniser?

"Natalie Rushman..." I replied.

"Never heard of it."

"That's right, I heard from the principal that there would be a new student coming to the Blue House today... Is that you?" Another guy with his hair neatly shaved back spoke. He looked to be the most muscular among the other three.

"Weston College's Rule #48 states: The only ones allowed to cross the lawn are the prefects or those granted permission by them. At least remember the school rules before you enter." The guy with blue hair and glasses spoke. One look from him and I could tell he's the most rigid.

"I'm very sorry."

"Hurry up and get inside. The sun is too bright outside." He's probably the weirdest. With purple fingernails and hood up even though it was shining hot some of his silver hair peeking out. The way he spoke also lacked energy.

"Look out from now on, Rushman." Other than a flick to the forehead, they left me with no other punishment.

"Aren't you a lucky gal? You stepped on the lawn and didn't get punished." A body landed on mine without warning and I had to take a few steps to balance myself. "I'm Isabella Jones. I'm a first-year in the Blue House as well." She introduced herself to me.

"Y-yeah. By the way, what do all those 'P4' and 'Y' things mean?" I asked after hearing them whisper around me.

"'Y' are penalty points. If you get one 'Y', you have to write a Latin poem 100 times. 'P4' are those four just now who wear different coloured waistcoats. At this school only prefects can wear those with whatever pattern they like." Jones enthusiastically explained to me with a shine in his eyes.

"Prefects?" I reiterated.

"I guess you could call them dormitory leaders."

(Just to give you a picture of how they look like, from left to right)

Gregory Violet, the one with the purple waistcoat is the prefect of the Violet Wolf dormitory, students who are accomplished in the arts gather there.

Lawrence Bluer, the one with the blue waistcoat is the prefect of the Sapphire Owl dormitory, where students who excel at studying gather there.

Edgar Redmond, the one with the red waistcoat is the prefect of the Scarlet Fox dormitory, where students of exceptional high birth gather there.

Herman Greenhill, The one with the green waistcoat is the prefect of the Green Lion dormitory, students who excel in martial arts and sports gather there.

"The four prefects from the traditional four dormitories at Weston College. P4 for short!!" She held her hands together as he squealed. "I really admire them. I'll be a prefect one day... if only..."

Once we took notice of the time, she urged us to get to the first class to prevent getting a Y. I wouldn't want to have to copy poems 100 times. Which school still uses such a punishment system anyway?

Flashback The governor's son, Derrick Arden,  is a fifth year student at Weston College, but for some reason, he has not been returning home since last summer vacation. He used to send letters everyday. But even the family suddenly stopped receiving them.

We stayed behind in the restaurant even after finishing our meal and ordered another set of drinks. I gave her the files that Fury presented to me and she flipped through it with quick succession.

"If it was just him I'd think of it as a rebellious phase, but it seems that a few more students are refusing to go home." I told her my conclusion after having read the file.

"So you think something shady is going on in the school." I nodded my head.

"'Investigate what's going on in the school' is what he's saying. Public schools are independent institutions that refuse government intervention, so it's hard to get involved. Though it's more likely they don't want to make matters worse and let everyone know about their private affairs." I said as I swirled the wine in my glass.

Y/N nodded as she set the manila file on the table before picking up her martini. "You'll support me inconspicuously. I'll leave it to you to figure out how."

"It's really weird that Colett left the school so suddenly... you came in at a rather strange time too, wasn't that hard?" Jones asked as I sat at one of the empty tables flipping the books I brought with me

"Well, I'd been waiting for a spot for a long time. I was happy to prepare for it."

"CLASS UP!" Suddenly someone shouted and everyone rushed to form a line. Even Jones ran away and I was shocked at everyone's action.

"At that command, the last in line has to do whatever the upper years tell them to!"

"WHAT?" I fumbled out of my seat and expected, I was the last in line.

"The last is... the new one..."

"Yes..."

"Well then, return to the dorm once you've polished all the prefects' shoes. We'll have your welcome party." Another upperclass man I've never met before said as he passed me a slip of paper.

I sighed as I finally finished my task and headed towards the Sapphire Owl dormitory also known as the blue house. It's been a long time since I've had to do such tasks. I felt a hand covering my mouth and struggled against them, trying to break free.

"Congratulations, Rushman. We're holding this party for you." He pushed me towards some unknown direction. "We hope you enjoy it to the fullest." The moment, I'm being heaved up to the air with an empty sheet.

"How do you like our dorm's traditional welcome party? I'll expect you to work harder at your studies from now on, as a member of the Sapphire Owl dormitory. The next one will be even higher." Before I could even protest to stop. He started counting down for the next one.

"What is that racket! I'll give you all a Y!" A voice shouted.

"Oh no, it's the dorm supervisor!!" The rest of the Blue House students was surprised by the sudden visit of the dorm supervisor and dropped the sheet, causing me to fall to the ground with a thud.

"Clayton, why are you, as an upperclass year participating in this?"

"That's... this is a tradition of our dorm."

"Goodness... there's tradition and there's over doing it. You're the new student Rushman, correct? Welcome to the Sapphire Owl dormitory. I'm the dorm advisor, Y/N YL/N." She extended her hand towards me and I gently took it.

It was the next day and Weston College has a funny way of welcoming their students. I was to go to the principal's room and the P4 were there too. It was a huge space and the glass behind him shone in brightly causing me to be unable to see his face.

"It's been a day since you arrived. How are you feeling, Rushman?" Greenhill asked.

"Feel free to come to the Red House if you can't get use to the Blue House. We'd welcome you anytime." Redmond invited me with his charming smile.

"Only the Principal can decide one's dormitory, no exceptions." Bluer mentioned.

"The dormitories are all the same though..." Violet said unenergetically like he didn't want to be here.

"This is a high-class public school protected by tradition and discipline. From the moment you enter, you have to obey the rules. Normally, the Principal would give you the welcome speech but since he is busy, I'll be representing him. I am the Vice-Principal, Johan Agares." He lifted his head and I was able to see him slightly better but I was still unable to make out his full features.

"Do you swear to keep to the rules of our school, and obey our tradition and discipline?" Mr Agares asked. There was definitely a layer of authority as he sat at a higher place than me. I agreed to their terms and he got a thick book as he went down the steps so I could sign it. I didn't expect, however, for him to roll down the steps.

"Mr Agares!" The P4 went to help him up and he apologised for the scene. He told me where to sign and I could see all the previous attendees of this school. They wished me a pleasant life at the school before proceeding to leave.

"When can I meet the principal?" I know that only by meeting the principal would I be able to solve this case and I sure don't want to be staying longer than I need to.

"The Principal is very busy and does not meet with regular students. The only ones who can have meetings with the principal are us prefects." Bluer said.

Regular students can't meet the Principal? So the Principal is like the absolute monarch of the school.

Third POV The students' lives are controlled by the ringing of the bell. And so another day begins at school at 6.30am where the students are told to wake up and have breakfast in the hall. This is usually where you would start forming your groups and cliques as you didn't want to sit alone. Classes were next until it was lunch time.

Naturally, since Y/N was their dormitory advisor, she was also their professor and taught the class. During her class, Natasha would not pay attention at the back and stare out of the window. Afterall, she knew all of it already and certainly didn't need all this knowledge.

"Fag?" Natasha questioned as she took a bite of her peanut butter sandwich.

"When lunchtime is over, it's 'fag time'. It's one of Weston's characteristic traditions where the lower years have to help out one of the upper years." Jones explained to her as she drank her juice.

"Help out?"

"Yeah, like cleaning their room or ironing their uniforms. And preparing hot water bottles at night." She listed a few examples for me. Natasha rolled her eyes at another annoying tradition. Subsequently, she asked if the P4 have fags as well. To which they do, Clayton is the fag of Bluer.

"A fag is a little different from a butler in that the upper year will help out their fags sometimes as well. It's kind of like having a brother within the school. I heard they can attend the midnight tea party organised by the Principal."

That was exactly what Nat needed, but how was she going to achieve that? With the school this strict on traditions and rules, it would be hard to jump the ranks quickly.

"I know it's a topic of change but do you know Derek Arden, the governor's son? I believe he was a student of the Scarlet Fox dormitory." The atmosphere in the dining hall turned as the words left Nat's mouth.

"R-Rushman... it doesn't look good if you're too friendly with people from other dormitories. Rivialing dormitories are always competing over something." Jones kindly help Nat get use to the culture there.

"That sounds like the trivial rivalry of women."

"I do believe that student was transferred from Red to Purple House on exception. I don't know the details, but the rumours were that the Principal ordered it." Jones tried her best to whisper as she looked around to see if anyone was listening.

Before Nat could ask what she meant, someone called her over and she said that was her upperclass man. This must be the fag time that she was talking about.

"Rushman!" Nat didn't expect anyone to call her. She still has to get used to people calling her since she was usually the one calling for people.

"Clayton..."

"Until you get assigned to an upper year, you're on cleaning duty for the dining hall." He instructed. Nat looked around and noticed how quiet it was, everyone had left and it was only her remaining.

"Everything?" Being in the Blue House, there were books lying everywhere. They were studying all the time, perhaps the only thing they knew how to do. The plates and cutleries were on the table with all the leftover food.

"That's right. Don't slack off." Clayton left as soon as he was done with giving out his instruction. Nat sighed as she looked around at the mess she had to clean up. Or does she?

"Y/N." Very quickly, Y/N appeared in the room and walked next to Nat.

"It seems Derrick was transferred." Nat told her of the news she got from Jones.

"When I checked, his name was on the register of Violet Wolf indeed." Y/N cross checked Nat's information. So, were they closer to the truth? Perhaps they didn't have to stay as long as they initially thought.

"He should be at the dorm now. I'll check it out so you can clean up here." Before Y/N could say anything, Nat ran out of the dining hall towards Purple House.

Their dorm was eerie, fitting their eccentric vibe, like it was decorated for halloween, except there was no light, just a bunch of naked dead trees. Crows rested on the fence and anywhere they could stand. The place was even decorated with gravestones. It's just a decoration... right?

Nat walked towards the big entrance door despite all the warnings. And suddenly out of nowhere, students popped out of the bushes and started identifying her. The hostility towards her wasn't hidden.

"Hey hey, what business does a bookworm from blue house have with us? This isn't the place for people who can't do anything but study." A guy with a rockstar hairstyle stood at the top and shouted.

"Get out!" // "People from other dormitories should get out!" // "That's right, get out!"

They started throwing rocks and Natasha tried to cover her head with her arms but some managed to slip past and hit her back.

"Why don't you bring a big fat dictionary to protect your head next time, bookworm!" He did a thumbs down and yelled. As she left, Violet came out of the dorm to check on what the students were on. He recognised Nat even though he could only see his back view as she left such a strong impression on her first day.

There's more hostility between dorms than Nat thought. She couldn't meet Derek, let alone the Principal. Status and money are worth nothing in this school. As long as Nat is a regular student, seeking information would just get her in trouble. Which means there is only one way to get to the core of this affair.

She must get herself in favour with the P4.

As she thought of her next moves, there she realised there was a crowd at the entrance of the dining hall. Despite her height, she tried to see what the commotion was about.

"Rushman!" Clayton grabbed both her arms and for a moment she thought he caught her sneaking out. "I don't easily praise anyone. However, just for today, I'll grant you some praise."

The dining hall was spectacular like it was ready for a ball. Everything was in place. Even things that Nat didn't know where it came from. Champagne glasses, napkins, cushions and tablecloths. Everything was scrubbed clean so that it was reflecting their images.

"Our old... I mean, traditional dormitory dining hall looks completely new!! Well done, Rushman!"

Y/N overdid the cleaning of the dining hall and Nat decided to make use of it. Clayton was Bluer's fag and she could use him to get closer to the P4.

"I'm glad you are pleased!! Actually, I'm really very good at doing housework. So, if you've got anything please just ask, okay..." Nat said with a bright smile and flattered Clayton. 

Reader POV The warden is a teacher who lives in the school's dormitory and guides students. Besides the warden, the four dormitories of Weston College employed a few other workers, namly those in charge of taking care of the cleanliness, the cook, security and more. However, the dormitory warden is only one who is also a teacher.

In the morning they go to school with the students and teach their subjects. At night, they return to the dormitory with the students and during their free time, they help those who need help with their homework. The warden is an onerous job since it requires dedicating most of the day to the students.

And yet...

Natasha has given me all sorts of orders for me to fulfill. Asking me to put Clayton's bookshelves in order, fix the button that came off Clayton's jacket and prepare golden syrup pudding for Clayton and for her as well, among the rest she requested.

"She only accepts any task because she knows I would do it..." I sighed as I opened the door to Clayton's room. "Even though... I'm pretty busy... myself!" I started packing the bookshelves, sewing the button onto his coat and getting the ingredients ready. So many things to do, so little time.

After an hour and a half, I finally finished what Natasha told me to do and went off preparing for the lesson to teach the first year.

Natasha POV "It must be hard for you with all those requests." Jones turned around from her chair to face me. "For me, it takes the whole of fag time for me to just fix a button... Clayton is asking you too much, with the excuse that he hasn't chosen a fag."

"It's not that bad... I have a trick that does everything quickly." Just then Y/N walked in and I saw her blank face when she heard me say that.

"You're really amazing though, you even got a great score on the last test."

"I just happened to be prepared enough." I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't that hard.

"Everyone is wondering about which senior will get you as his fag. Someone should be making a request soon. Personally, I think it might be Clayton." Jones whispered to me. It must be another funky thing that they are not allowed to gossip about. Honestly, this school is just weird.

"I'll be honoured."

That has to happen. It better be me. I'll become Clayton's fag. I'm not going through all this effort for anything.

Third POV At the swan gazebo, the P4 were having their tea time with their fags. It was a space only for the P4 and it was against the rules for others to join. There was some distance from the school and the gazebo providing some tranquillity and peace.

They were able to spend a few hours with their coffee, tea, and snacks that they enjoy.

"Redmond, would you like some tea?" Maurice asked as he got ready the teapot at hand.

"Thank you. Your tea is the best, Maurice." Redmond said. Everything he does was gentleman-like, which reflects since he was a prefect.

"By the way, I heard the new student is quite capable." Greenhill said as he was casually lifting some weights like they weigh nothing to him. His speech was easy flowing like he didn't need any effort.

"Ahh, yes that cutie pie in Lawrence's dorm. I'm curious too."

"Stop calling me by my first name. It's against the rules." Strict as ever with his rules, Bluer complained as his eyes never left his book.

Redmond ignored what he said and asked. "Clayton, what do you think about that girl?

He gave a serious thought over the last few days before saying. "He is extremely skilled, and works fast and carefully. Actually, the tea and snacks I asked him to prepare look like something made by a French chef."

Maruice was interested in the new prospect of meeting someone with such a great ability to make sweets. She took huge pride in being able to make desserts that make Redmond smile. In fact, the desserts in all the meetings at the gazebo were made by her. All the P4 were singing praises to her.

"She said it was a hobby." Clayton added at the back.

"Quite the weirdo. Maybe that's why she came to my dorm back then." Violet said.

"What?" Finally, it was something that interested Bluer.

"Some time ago, she came to Violet House during fag time, alone." Violet said as he was sipping some sort of bubbling concoction he made.

"Are you sure it was her? I don't think she has time to go out, with all the work she has to do..." Clayton checked. He knew very well as he was the one who was giving out all the work to Natasha.

"Why did he go to the Violet Wolf dormitory?" The P4 asked themselves.

After some silence, Redmond decided to invite her for a meeting which surprised Maruice. In her entire year of being a fag for Redmond, he has never requested to meet anyone. "I'm tired of the dull faces I see every day. I'm sure you're curious about his acclaimed tea and snacks too." He said to the group.

Maruice then volunteered to be the one to relay the information to Natasha as she was really excited to meet the new student. "Tomorrow at 2pm right?"

>slight time skip<

With a wave of a hand, she was able to get someone's attention and have someone running for her.

"Rus- Rushman..." The boy ran towards Nat. "Keller wants to speak to you." His sudden enthusiasm made Nat alert for any danger.

"Keller?!" // "Yeah, I spoke to her for the first time." They were fangirling that he was able to speak to the famous Maurice Keller. Like the prefects, she was also very charming and does everything with elegance.

"Keller? Who is she?" Nat doesn't understand the hype around her.

Their faces of shock were unified. Everyone knew who Maurice Keller was, everyone. "Maurice Keller, a senior, fag of the Scarlet Fox dormitory's prefect. She's the most beautiful girl in the school!! Where did you get to know her? Whatever, just go!" Jones pushed Nat out of the door towards her.

"Are you Rushman? Please to meet you, I'm Maurice Keller, Redmond's fag." She introduced herself as Nat stood in front of her. Even though Nat was older than her in age, they were around the same height and some might say that Keller still had an opportunity to grow.

"Can I help you...?" Nat asked when the conversation stopped there.

"Ah right." She shook her head and pulled back from her trance. "You know, prefects and their fags often meet together at the swan gazebo, and the other day we were talking about the amazing new student. Everyone agreed that they would like to have a chat with you. Would you come to the swan gazebo tomorrow?"

A chance to get closer to the P4 landed right in front of Nat's feet. She'll be a fool to turn that down. "I would be glad to!" She replied as sincerely as possible.

"Really? That's great! We'll be waiting for you at the swan gazebo tomorrow at 4pm!" She said with a smile that even has sparkles shining behind her back. She waved as she turned the corner and once she was gone, the rest of the students surrounded her asking for the details and jealous of the fact that she was going to meet the P4.

Reader POVI was walking by when Keller was talking to Natasha. Even though I could only hear the end of the conversation, it was more than enough to know what it was about. The end where other students came out from their hiding and pounced on Natasha was shocking. She never liked that amount of touch. The most I've seen her do was a pat on the shoulder.

It was time for me to have the night lessons with those weaker students and there were quite a few tonight who requested help. "It's a line that can be mistaken easily, be careful. Is everything else okay?" I asked the student and I started wrapping up the session.

"The way you explain is so easy to understand, Professor Y/L/N! Thank you, goodnight!" I said the same to him before giving a wave to him.

Soon after, another set of knocks was heard and a voice requesting help in studying. Naturally, you allowed her in.

"You seem to be popular, Professor Y/L/N." Natasha smirked as she closed the door.

"Everyone is praising the way I explain and my kindness." I simply replied to her.

"I'd really like to show them how your real training method is." Natasha said as she took the seat I was on.

"I only learn from the best."

She proceeded to tell me the details regarding her meeting with the P4 and was very adamant in telling me that she couldn't fail this. Complaining that she has to prepare snacks for the kids.

"Wouldn't that be nice? Instead of bribing them, you will win them over with real sweets." I teased knowing how past missions went. This was really a whole new type of mission. Other than the werewolves case, this required her most involvement. Most of the others only require her to order from her armchair in her house. She has the talent of being able to see the entire picture and predict the opponent's next move.

"How was your day?" My eyes perked up when she asked that question. I guess I was still getting used to her caring for me. "This is your first time teaching a class right?"

"That's right."

"Do you have anything else to do for the rest of the day?" I shook my head. Those who requested to have a meeting have already come and left unless there were any impromptu students. "Let's talk in your room then."

Students in Weston College have to share a room while Professors and others have their private rooms. I let Natasha into my room, there wasn't a mess around since I hardly spent any time here. This is really more like a place for me to sleep.

"What did you want to talk about?" I questioned after I emerged from the bathroom after changing into my night clothes.

"Nothing. Nothing work-related. I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"Is Miss Jones not going to notice that you're missing from your bed?"

"And who is she going to find?"

"Me."

"Precisely."

I shook my head at her antics. Since that was what Natasha wanted, we continued talking late into the night until she fell asleep on my bed. I made sure she was covered properly before sneaking into the dorm and took some spare clothes from her closet for tomorrow. Sure enough, the rest of the students were sound asleep and seemingly undisturbed by the lack of a presence on the empty bed.

I took my position on the couch and drifted off to sleep as well after finishing up the lesson plans and marking the papers.

As the warden, I'm supposed to wake up earlier and ring the bell to wake up the students but when I opened my eyes, Natasha had seemingly moved from her position on the bed to the couch with me. It wasn't a huge couch and Natasha had practically stuck herself to me to prevent herself from falling off.

"Natasha... Natasha." I slightly shook her shoulders trying to wake her up. She grumbled slightly before opening her eyes. When she saw she was cuddling up to me, she hugged me even tighter and I stiffened at the interaction.

"Natasha, I have to ring the bell to wake the other students up."

"Hmm, I used to be the only one you have to wake."

"Well, you took this job." Wanting to speed up this process, I lifted Natasha and placed her back on the bed and passed her the clothes to change into. "Come on, I don't want to be late. You know your way to the dining hall."

Natasha POV Y/N left me alone in her room as she changed quickly and did her morning routine. I really didn't want to move from the bed but this was an important day. Lazily, I changed into the new clothes and went to the dining hall as the rest were making their way there as well. I slipped into the chaos of it all and none of them noticed anything.

By the time it reached 4pm, I felt the day had already gone by twice. The hour dragged on longer than usual. I took the dessert that Y/N had prepared and left it in her room and went to the swan gazebo.

It was filled with dark auras as everyone was looking stern and angry.

"HOW COULD YOU BE 2 HOURS LATE RUSHMAN?" Clayton shouted. Did I mention he was also very strict with rules?

"I was told it was at 4pm." I was sure it was 4pm now. Jones wouldn't stop reminding me that it was getting closer to 4pm and rushed me to get ready. And even by the far stretch that they mess with mine and her watch, the class timetable wouldn't.

"Eh, I said it right. 2pm." Keller turned around and said innocently. This little bitch, it was her who messed with this.

"It's disgraceful to lie, Rushman." Greenhill said with his cricket bat in his hand. He looked as bulky as Rogers but he made no move to stand up.

With a little bit more reprimanding, they told me to leave.

"Shit!! She tricked me." I threw the basket on the floor before flopping onto Y/N's chair. "This is why I hate verbal promises!! Give me written proof!" I complained before taking the coffee that Y/N had prepared and gulping it all down.

"Did you underestimate her just because she's a student? People envy the ones who excel... it's surely not the first time this has happened to you." Y/N placed a strawberry tart on the table in front of me.

"Did you give an explanation?"

"Trying to explain to people like that is useless. And it's true that I showed up late anyway."

"Well then, are you going to cry yourself to sleep?" Y/N teased.

"As if!" Taking the fork, I plunged into the plump strawberry. "I'll gain the favour of the prefects, no matter what. I'll make you regret ruining my hard work... Maurice Keller!"

[tuesdayisfordancing]

Picard 3.3 thoughts part two:

“He’s not ‘Dad’.” “He’s a good man.” Relevance, William? Kid hadn’t said he wasn’t (though he will procede to lol) just pointed out that some guy you meet when you’re 23 isn’t automatically your dad because of genetics. (Also aw he said please.)

That being said Riker is pretty cute here overall. And Jack’s understated wtf face when he says “I spent 2 decades watching you get cooked up before you were born” is great. What a thing to say about a guy’s parents.

“Bigger the legend the more disappointing the reality” this is about WESLEY and I’m not wrong.

Um. Did they add the DNA line after seeing all the jokes about the accent being genetic or? I’m gonna be honest it would have been better by my lights to ignore this rather than call attention to it, but I’m sure some people prefer a slightly awkward explanation to none.

Oh my god I was right he literally did say “ugh no thanks” to the whole concept of having a dad. I thought based on the delivery of “I never had one” that I was wishful thinking. This is amazing. Oh man I gotta rewatch the first two episodes with the knowledge that Jack knows exactly who this dipshit is.

Holy shit Picard you PHENOMENAL JACKASS??? Literally changed his fucking mind about whether he should have protected Jack upon learning that Jack knew who he was and hadn’t wanted to meet him??? What the absolute everloving fuck????? !!!!!!

“I think it might be time you called me Number 1” was good

Raffi and Whorf are very cute but I’m having trouble getting properly invested because I just. Don’t we should be starting from a place of her being isolated and miserable to begin with!

Mixed feelings about Beverly being a better doctor because she doesn’t over rely on fancy new tech. I mean, I like it mostly but. Hm something bugging me and I can’t put my finger on what.

Beverly completely ignoring the CMO’s hypothetically being in charge is fantastic though because it’s both a strength (in this case she was needed!) and also an arrogance that could absolutely have led to her getting in the way and causing problems. Hope this is explored more.

She summons Jack to help her! Because they are a team! I don’t know like on the one hand it’s obvious, if nothing else probably the doctors and nurses on the ship would hesitate whether they should listen to her when she’s arguing with their boss, but the whole thing just felt like it got across so well the way they are used to relying on each other.

How is Raffi’s hood staying on while she runs? She and Whorf continue to be cute as hell.

Seven Jack teamup!! This was actually a secret item on my wishlist that I didn’t mention because it had nothing to do with themes I just really like Jack and want him to get to do cool stuff and what’s cooler than bonding with Seven? Also as far as I’m concerned this proves that that one fic is canon.

Are there going to be. Consequences later for Jack knocking out a security person or are we just skipping that? LMAO the doors though.

I really thought that guy was like, going to assume Jack was the bad guy, not that he was the bad guy? But anyway I’m ALWAYS down to whump the pretty boy. Yes please.

Curious like a proper sucker about the Seven hallucination. “Connect the branches. We’ll be together soon. Find me.” What does that mean! I also wonder if he’s picturing whatever’s going on as Seven just because actual Seven is there talking to him, or for another reason?

Hmm, okay it’s not that Picard doesn’t deserve a significant share of the blame but Will you were in command, you made the call to listen to him!

[blueheartedmayor]

Christmas was no different to any other formal event the Brooks family hosted. The Eve was another familiar, unnecessary party that the twins were forced to attend. Damien spent a long evening rehashing the same topics on business, law, politics, and financial investments with numerous uncles and cousins who were already turning out as bleak and inconsiderate as their parents.

He didn't belong here.

It was easier to hide from it all when he was a child. He was expected to partake in similar conversations about investments, whether he was six or twenty-six. He was born with impossible expectations on his shoulders and the inability to leave and make his own choices in life, bar running for mayor.

How was this supposed to be a season of family and goodwill when it was literally business as usual? Damien had been in conversations with co-workers in City Hall about their plans. They were simple, but fun. Board games with family, watching children opening presents, visiting friends. Simple, ordinary things, and not the farce that Damien could only dismiss himself from at 2 in the morning.

Christmas Day would be business as usual for the Brooks dynasty. It was not a national holiday. There would be people of other faiths and cultures who would be keen to get a move on. Damien never really understood the fuss surrounding the 25th because he never saw it first-hand. Even now, as an adult who could do what he wanted since City Hall was closed, Damien found himself at a loss. His friend from University was out of town. William was visiting his own family. Celine and Mark would be together. The group already had their small exchange of presents the week before, so the pressure to find time to meet was removed.

Instead, Damien would light a fire in the empty Mayoral residence (he gave the staff the weekend off) and read a book. It wouldn't be anything special, but it would be a break, at least.

-

At some point, he had fallen asleep while reading, as a loud knock at the door startled him awake. The fire had reduced to embers, and the sun had dipped below the buildings across the street. As he attempted to gather his bearings and adjust to the world of the waking, the banging repeated.

"Damien? Don't pretend you're asleep. I could see you snoring in there!" Though muffled, it was impossible to miss the Colonel's booming voice. Damien stumbled out of the chair and hurried to unlock the door. There, along with the Colonel, were Mark and Celine, wrapped up to protect themselves from the cold.

"You told me you all had plans today. What are you all doing here?"

"Well, we did have plans. But like the best things in life, good plans often don't work out. For instance," Mark lightly elbowed William, "This oaf decided to not stay the night with his family -"

"Because they were going to stay with my brother, and you know how small his house is for everyone!" William's counter was overruled with another jab to his side by Mark.

"So we thought, well, it wouldn't be the same if you weren't with us."

"I would have been happy to let you two enjoy -"

"Damien, if the next words out of your mouth are 'Christmas without me', I will shove my scarf in your mouth." Celine was already pulling off her scarf to back up this threat. When Damien quickly closed his mouth, she gave her brother a smug look. "Then it's settled. We're going to make hot chocolates and play those games we'd play as kids. Grab your coat."

"Already ahead of you!" Somehow, William had slipped past the group, fetched Damien's coat, keys, and cane, and had slammed the door behind them. "My nieces showed me this swell game where you draw these squares on the ground outside -"

As the group hurried away from the Mayoral Residence, Damien could already feel the melancholy lift from his shoulders. This was what the Holidays were about, right? The chance to spend time with the people who mattered the most in the world, even if it wasn't in a 'traditional' way.

[themuselesswriter]

Between Then And Now - Chapter Five: Broken Once - Broken Many Times

Characters: Winston Williams, Monty De La Cruz, Estela De La Cruz, Mr De La Cruz, Original Characters

Summary: Monty wakes up from his father's beating and finds himself in a strange place, forced to gather strength that he never had.

Word count: 800+

Warnings: Child Abuse, Death, Mental Illness, Physical Abuse

A/N: this is an old chapter but since I’m reviving everything I thought about publishing it here as well

Credits: technopath - polarr filter by demiesgod, photos from Pinterest

————————————Teaser——————————-

“Isabella, help your mother set up the table” their father said so sweetly, the fifteen years old did as she was told, she had all of their best features, Estella’s heart-shaped face, long soft hair, Monty’s light eyes, freckles and hair colour, she was so beautiful, every guy at school wanted to date her, she was so sweet, her kindness was contagious to a point, she was loved, perfect, the child neither of them could be.

Their mother frowned at the table setting, they had forgotten the orange juice “dear, didn’t you pick up the orange juice as I told you?” the woman questioned “I think I might’ve forgotten” he replied with a nervous laugh, one that’s sweet “you know it’s Estella’s favourite and she would throw a tantrum if it’s not on the table, dinner will be ready in an hour, do you think you can go pick it up?” the man nodded, Isabella jumped “let’s go to the mall, you can pick up the juice from the groceries section and I can get some supplies for my art project!” she exclaimed “the mall? Isn’t it too far?” their mother raised an eyebrow at her “only 20 minutes drive, please! We won’t be late!” she begged with puppy eyes, the woman ended up agreeing.

~~~~~~~

He woke up in a hospital bed, not sure how he got there, but everything hurt like hell, Estella was by his bedside “Monty” she was standing right in front of him, showering him with kisses and sobs, he winced, what happened? “Nurse!” his sister shouted, everything was too loud, he was greeted by nurses who were invested in him, he opened his mouth to speak but his throat was dry and speaking hurt.

“Wh-” he coughed “it’s okay, we’ll fix that in a minute but right now let’s make sure you’re okay” one of the nurses smiled at him, he attempted to nod, but the best he could come up with was a blink, he allowed them to take some blood and run whatever tests that needed to be ran, focusing on his weeping sister, god she looked like their mother and he hated that, he hated the image of Estella turning into a soulless weeping woman with no purpose in life.

Minutes later, he was given soda to drink, and jelly to eat, the process was difficult but he managed to do it with the help of his sister “what happened?” he whispered, his voice cracking with every sound “you don’t remember? The fight with dad? He pushed you to the wall and you fell unconscious, you’ve been in a coma for a week” his eyes shot open with shock, a week, his heart began to race, it was alarming to the point that the heart monitoring machine began to beep “it’s okay” she desperately tried to calm him down, a week!

Continue Reading

[dollycas]

The Tarnished Son by Elizabeth McKenna #Review / #Giveaway - Great Escapes Book Tour @ElizaMcKenna

The Tarnished Son by Elizabeth McKenna About The Tarnished Son The Tarnished Son Domestic Suspense Setting - Wisconsin Independently Published (‎ July 23, 2024) Print length ‏ : ‎ 324 pages Digital ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0D4R8HM6S “This is a nice, quiet town with good people. Things like that don’t happen around here.” But they do. In THE TARNISHED SON, a tourist’s death, an alluring young teacher, a father’s carnal desires, and a stepdaughter’s vendetta ultimately destroy a village dynasty. The respected Clark family has governed Williams Bay since 1837. On a hot August day, seventeen-year-old Liam causes a tragic boating accident. What happens next—infidelity, drugs, theft, and more—deepens long-hidden cracks in the family’s façade, exposing their secrets and tarnishing their golden image. Meet the family: William Sr., the grandfather who rules the family and the village with an iron fist Hank, the father who lets temptations lead him on a path of self-destruction Liam, the shining son who gets away with everything Rose, the stepdaughter who has had enough and pushes the whole house down Grab some popcorn and watch the destruction unfold in Elizabeth McKenna’s unpredictable family drama! Dollycas's Thoughts Welcome to Williams Bay, Wisconsin where the descendants of the town's founder still hold power over all. Summer is almost over and Liam Clark wants to have a last little bit of fun. He, his best friend, his stepsister Rose, and a couple of her "friends" go out on his grandfather's boat. While having that fun Liam causes a tragic accident. But never fear his William Sr., will fix everything or will he? What follows is a dysfunctional family imploding and falling apart. Drugs, theft, infidelity, blackmail, secrets, lies, and more tarnish the Clark family. Can this family survive? _____ Ms. McKenna introduces her readers to the Clark family. Williams Sr. follows in the footsteps of his father and grandfather as the village president. Even with a town council William Sr. has the final say about everything that goes on in his town.  His son Dr. William Henry Clark Jr. (Hank) is the Williams Bay School District superintendent, who can't live up to his father's expectations. He divorced his first wife, "who didn't like small-town life" and their son Liam, William Henry Clark III, stayed with him. Liam is 17 years old and a senior in high school with his own issues. Hank reconnected with Nora over social media. Her family used to summer in Williams Bay. They married and she and her daughter Rose McCabe came to town. Her first husband died working as a US contractor in Iraq. Now Rose is entering high school. She has always been a loner and sees things others seem to miss. Plus she can hide in plain sight. It is easy to see why her stepbrother calls her "Mouse". Even before the boating accident, you could cut the tension in this family with a knife. Life after the accident draws the reader in all this family's drama and there is a lot of drama. Especially when 1st year teacher, Madison Taylor enters the fray. While this family was unlikable, I became totally invested to see what happened next. Full of twists and turns, this family and the people who entered their lives went through crisis after crisis. The author told this story from multiple points of view giving readers the inside scoop into what was happening but it wasn't until the last chapter that my jaw dropped and almost hit the floor. As a side note, the school my children attended was in the same conference as Williams Bay. It was a long trek but we attended several sporting events there over the years. I was delightfully surprised to see the school referenced by our mascot and that the team's "defensive line weighed twice as much" as Williams Bay's and that the quarterback, Liam, "would be on his backside most of the game". Truth be told, I can't remember any time in any sport that we didn't defeat Williams Bay. The Tarnished Son is a fast-paced page-turner. If Domestic Suspense is your cup of tea, this book is a Perfect Escape! I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Reader Copy. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. Thank you to the author for providing me with an ARC. Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent About Elizabeth McKenna Elizabeth McKenna’s love of books reaches back to her childhood, where her tastes ranged from Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys to Stephen King’s horror stories. Her novels reflect her mercurial temperament and include romances, mysteries, and suspense. Some are “clean,” and some are “naughty,” so she has a book for your every mood. Elizabeth lives in Wisconsin with her understanding husband and Sidney, the rescue dog from Tennessee. When she isn’t writing, reading, or walking the dog that never tires, she’s sleeping. - Author Links: Facebook/ Twitter / Instagram / Goodreads / Amazon - Purchase Links:   Amazon  The ebook is on sale for 99 cents until the end of August. - Find more books by Elizabeth McKenna here This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase using my links, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Escape With Dollycas. Great Escapes Praise for The Tarnished Son by Elizabeth McKenna 5-STARS, Grab some popcorn and watch the destruction unfold in Elizabeth McKenna’s unpredictable family drama! ~Novels Alive 5 Stars! I was mesmerized by the story, completely invested in seeing it through to the end as quickly as I could turn the pages of the book. ~Boys' Mom Reads! TOUR PARTICIPANTS - Please visit all the stops.  July 29 – Novels Alive – REVIEW July 29 – fundinmental – SPOTLIGHT July 30 – Mystery, Thrillers, and Suspense – AUTHOR INTERVIEW July 30 – Sapphyria's Book Reviews – SPOTLIGHT July 31 - Ascroft, eh? – AUTHOR INTERVIEW July 31 - Ruff Drafts – SPOTLIGHT August 1 - Books, Ramblings, and Tea – SPOTLIGHT August 1 - Baroness Book Trove – SPOTLIGHT August 2 – Boys' Mom Reads! – REVIEW August 3 – Socrates Book Reviews – SPOTLIGHT August 4 – StoreyBook Reviews – AUTHOR GUEST POST August 5 – Literary Gold – SPOTLIGHT WITH EXCERPT August 6 – Celticlady's Reviews – SPOTLIGHT WITH EXCERPT August 7 – Christy's Cozy Corners – SPOTLIGHT WITH EXCERPT August 8 – Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book – REVIEW August 8 – FUONLYKNEW – SPOTLIGHT WITH EXCERPT August 9 – Lynchburg Reads – REVIEW August 10 – Maureen's Musings – SPOTLIGHT August 11 – Lady Hawkeye – SPOTLIGHT a Rafflecopter giveaway Have you signed up to be a Tour Host? Click Here to Find Details and Sign Up Today! Want to Book a Tour? Click Here Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Receiving a complimentary copy in no way reflected my review of this book. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” “As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases.” Read the full article

[veganpolh]

Bitcoin expert on joe rogan

BITCOIN EXPERT ON JOE ROGAN PRO

BITCOIN EXPERT ON JOE ROGAN SERIES

The Joe Rogan Experience is a popular podcast, which tax on bitcoin trades. He posited the assets importance amid an. Non-profit, educational, or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use. What is Ethereum It would be really, really different. Celebrity and podcaster Adam Curry described the importance of Bitcoin (BTC) to podcaster and comedian Joe Rogan. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. We DO NOT GIVE FINANCIAL ADVICE! Please consult a licensed financial advisor and do your own research before making any financial action.Ĭopyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, commenting, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. In his 12 January 2022 episode, Rogan claimed the risk of myocarditis (heart muscle inflammation) among vaccinated 12- to 17-year-olds was higher than the risk associated with catching Covid. This channel is intended to share tips and investment videos by experts. Matthew Walker is Professor of Neuroscience and Psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and Founder and Director of the Center for Human Sleep. Villeneuve quit school when he was just 13 years old, although he went back to high school for 9 th grade. It is quite a journey, totaling about 272 miles and is the oldest continuous footpath in the United States. But the difference with crypto, and why the government is so concerned about it, is that it now gives a public-to-public transaction, which means that we all have the same information and may use it anyway we see appropriate. Maybe this books super clearly written or maybe Antonopouloss interviews on the Joe Rogan Experience turned me into a bitcoin fanatic whos just ravenous. Villeneuve told Rogan that when he was 12-13 years old, he walked the entire length of Vermont, a trail called The Long Trail. That is, once we use the dollar, it is recorded in a ledger, and the private (government) sector may view and utilize that data. He explained how, from the standpoint of monitoring, the usage of the dollar is a public-to-private transaction. He talked on two intriguing topics: how governments perceive crypto as a growing danger and how crypto affects power dynamics. In this video he spoke extensively with the Filecoin Foundation during Camp Ethereal 2022. Here Snowden gives his thoughts on Bitcoin, and cryptocurrency in the current market of 2022. Rogan has spoken at length about his Bitcoin views. Sinica Podcast: U.S.Edward Snowden – “Joe Rogan Was Right About Bitcoin…” | WARNING 2022Įdward Snowden, the controversial person who disclosed highly secret documents from the National Security Agency (NSA) in 2013 revealing various worldwide surveillance operations, and has previously appeared in the highly popular Joe Rogan Podcast (JRE), and agrees with Joe Rogan on Bitcoin in the crypto market today. ‎ The Investor’s Podcast Network, Ep TIP282: China Wuhan Novel Coronavirus Economic Impact w/ Erik Townsend | Febru– In-depth Coronavirus Eric Wall has been in the crypto space since early 2013 initially purchasing Bitcoin for 8. The Daily: The End of Privacy as We Know It? | Febru– Scary conversation about privacy How Crypto Investors Are Handling Plunging Prices How Wordles Creator Feels About Selling His Viral Game Spotify Has a Much Bigger Problem Than Joe Rogan. In this episode, Jordan and Eric Wall discuss the future of crypto. Macro Voices: All-Stars #93 Luke Gromen: Busted! JP Morgan charged for gold price manipulation | Febru– Gold, Bitcoin and Coronavirus Venture Stories: The State of Crypto in 2020 with Spencer Bogart and Brayton Williams | Febru– Overview on where crypto stands broadly in 2020 'This Guy Might Be A DCK' - Joe Rogan Show ShortsWelcome to our shorts channel Subscribe for the more interesting videos Copyright Disclaimers We use. I will never give away, trade or sell your email address.

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[lutawolf]

Episode 11 Notes And Thoughts

These started out as a way for me to come back to a thought I had. Then they became something that others looked forward to. It became something we could discuss. This time the notes had a lot of help from the coconuts mafia @victooooorious @akitbeast @biochemjess @slangerogkatter thank you for all the support and help 💜💜💜 alright, get ready to go deep on VegasPete.

Let me start off by saying that you probably won't understand my notes unless you understand my theory. I believe that Vegas took note of Pete when Pete stood up to Khun and wouldn't tie up Macau. That's why he and his brother were more amused by Pete following them than upset. Somewhere between that time and the first dungeon torture scene in episode 7, Vegas was very interested in Pete. There was a lot to be seen in that episode to prove it too. So why the massive torture, like Vegas is pissed, if he cares for Pete. That is exactly why, here is the guy he has shown his true self to, who paid respects to his mom, who he wants to spend his next life with betraying him. He proves his loyalty is to the main family and it makes Vegas angry. Do you know the strength and endurance it takes to torture someone?? I do. It's a lot. You don't get this level of angry intensity unless you are invested.

So we start of the episode with a swinging good time. Seriously though, no hit is landed until Pete has tightened those muscles. Vegas is mad but he has no intention of killing him.

Vegas says "At first I was going to kill you but then I changed my mind" I would be inclined to believe this if all his actions didn't point differently.

"Because when you suffer, you become more interesting" he's letting Pete know he is aware of his secret.

Look at that stare that Pete is giving. He is every bit as angry and pissed as Vegas.

"No legacy is so rich as honesty" is a William Shakespeare quote. That can mean so many different interpretations. In the play it was a mock of maidenhood, and the desperate measures using it to gain prosperity. The growth that one learns from their legacy. Then learning to be honest and portray a truthful character is more powerful than any other trait existing.

"You are such a good pet of the main family"

So is Vegas calling him a pet in general or is he specifically saying the main family?

"Let me tell you something, only a fool thinks that honesty is real" Further proof we can't trust Vegas words so much as his actions.

I want you to notice that Pete yells for Vegas to kill him. He is angry and mad at Vegas but when Vegas' dad comes in and hurts Vegas. His eyes cut to him with malice.

Look at Vegas' face when his dad hands him the gun. He is not okay with this. Which is the complete fucking opposite to how he acted with Tawan and Porsche. He didn't necessarily want to do it, he gave a Dom apology to one and was planning a head shot with the other. Yet he wasn't broken up. He does not want to kill Pete though, not at all.

Above note how he looks Tawan in the eyes as he shoots him, then he turns and goes to shoot Porsche in the head. Never taking his eyes of. With Pete though, his head is lowered. He is going to initially shoot but he can't look at him while doing it. Why? Unless he is already attached to Pete in a way that is more than Tawan and Porsche.

But even head down. Vegas can't kill Pete. So Pete will have to come with him.

How does Vegas know so much about grandma? I mean, yeah the name is on the caller ID but does that guarantee a good relationship? The kind of relationship that Pete would lose his shit over? The kind of relationship where she will lie for Pete? How does Vegas know?

That broke Pete and if you think that didn't turn Vegas on, you're wrong. Vegas is so angry right now that he isn't seeing straight. You've guys have to understand that anger and Sadist are not a good combination. It's like the parent who spanks but hits a power trip and slides into abuse. It's why you shouldn't punish when angry.

Vegas calls Pete a pet again. A pet is beneath a slave. He even mocks him with "who is a good boy"

Kinn says "I love you" about Porsche to his family first!! I also adore that Khun is not surprised.

I also adore how Kinn waited on Khun and let Khun manipulate Korn. Haha

The lovely bunch of coconuts with Arm being at the lead.

"I love him" 🥥 ohhhahhhhh.. Then them losing their shit on behalf of Porsche. Love it!

I wanna live at the safe house!!!

Pet again but Pete is smart. He knows that no matter what Vegas dishes. He can't eat from this animal dish or he will be a pet.

The talk between Porsche and Chay. So sweet. He wants his approval of Kinn. So sweet.

"You think you can choose not to eat" and Pete "I'm not choosing, I'm just not eating" Why did this piss of Vegas? Because Pete is making it clear that he isn't and wouldn't choose any of this.

Hence he calls him a pet again and loses his shit. Vegas is purposely hitting muscle not fat which with a belt hurts like a mother fucker. We know Pete can take the pain but your also more likely to get welting and burns. Ass, thighs, and breasts can tolerate the belt much better.

Notice that Pete actually showed his pain this time. That's not unusual at all and doesn't mean he isn't a masochist. Each masochist has certain pain they enjoy more and others that feel like pain. If you look at the previous pain given to Pete compared to this, you can spot the difference. Also keep in mind that Pete has had very little nourishment as well.

Vegas says "No fun" because Pete is actually hurting here.

Pete escapes and is immediately spotted by Vegas who makes a telling remark "so darn good, Head of the main family bodyguard" why does he repeat this if he doesn't take it personally. Are you starting to see it? He was personally hurt by Pete's loyalty to main family at the expense of him.

Did you notice that Vegas caught Pete, then him checking on him after stunning him.

Sweet Kinn and Porsche snuggle moment.

Mother in law!! 🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️

Vages dad is a cunt.

Vegas is angry, upset, and tormented so where does he head? To Pete. Then watch his reaction. He loses his shit at Pete not being okay. This is not the reaction of a man who shot his slave point blank with no issues, or the one who liked Porsche but is willing to do what's necessary, and who likes his bodyguards but will use them as shields. All of those examples are people he has technically supposed to have known longer than Pete. Yet here he is freaking out. Calling him by name in this moment. Not pet and not main bodyguard but once again Pete.

Khun and Chay, this can't be good.

Pete comes to, to Vegas cleaning and caring for him. Look at how Vegas is looking at Pete. He has lost his anger. Everyone points to the scene after this one but this is the important scene. This is the scene that fixes what was broken.

Almost losing Pete has knocked the wind out of Vegas. He was blinded by anger but that shroud has now been removed.

But blink and you miss it, this is where Pete comes around too. He wasn't going to take that pill. Not because he is worried about poison but because he wants to die. Pete this entire time that he got caught, made peace with death and craves it. Why? I'm going to throw a theory at you, how would you feel if you betrayed someone you liked and they now hate you. Then Vegas puts the pill in his mouth and feeds it to Pete. Pete realizes that Vegas is no longer pissed. He reacts immediately. He reacts as a submissive, doesn't bite or anything else aggressive but swallows the pill and stares at Vegas. Watch from 40:40 and 40:41. The look shared between them says so much.

They share a look and then Vegas gently cradles Pete's head to give him water. At this point we see Pete staring at Vegas but this look is speculative.

Now comes the moment that everyone points to and says is meaningful. Look how sweet Pete is. Guys you gonna make me choke on vomit. Pete is not sweet, he is not sunshine, he doesn't see the best in everyone 🌈 Bitch please, Pete is a sadomastic killer who will torture you just like Vegas if you didn't pay a loan. He is not a good guy! This is not about finding redeeming qualities in one bad guy. This is about two bad guys finding redeeming qualities in each other.

Pete asks Vegas why he won't let him die and Vegas lies as usual. Oddly enough, Pete sees right through Vegas. He sees that Vegas is upset about something and what is it? Look at how Vegas looks at Pete in this moment. He knows that Pete can actually see him. He can read him. Pause at 42:56 and tell me that isn't a man looking at someone who means something to him.

Then Vegas starts actually speaking his truths. The value in this moment. Vegas recognizes that Pete can see him and therefore he might as well be honest.

Vegas knows so much about Pete but this proves that he has been seeing only what Pete shows. Oh, I think he sees more than that but this is his first time really realizing that Pete hasn't had it easy either. That Pete hides this part of himself and yet he chose to show it to Vegas.

Pete shares hos story and his wisdom. Vegas takes it in. He says nosy but Pete sees it for what it is and slightly smiles. Vegas didn't lie, or get angry, he made a very child like expression.

Vegas coming to Pete once again when upset. He stands there but immediately Pete gets up. There is no hesitant to get up and be there for Vegas. No hesitant to ask if he is okay. Once Vegas lost his anger, Pete changed too.

Look at Vegas' face at being asked if he is okay. He smiles. Pete asking if he is hurt, making sure he really isn't.

Here is manipulative Pete though. He knows he can not eat out of that pet bowl. He tells Vegas it's old, not fresh. So Vegas comes back with food he made. He is providing Pete food in a regular bowl with utensils. Sliding Pete straight past pet. Pete makes Vegas confirm that it is in fact for him. Then he freaks out about it being poisoned which we previously established, Pete isn't worried about. He doesn't fear death. But it pushes Vegas to try it and prove that it isn't poisoned. Which establishes Pete's importance. That he has importance enough to provide and care for in more ways than that of a slave. Pete maneuvered his submissive position. That smile Vegas gives, is him recognizing what Pete did.

We now know that Porsche got a mouth like a hoover vacuum. Mouth that can suck Kinn's balls through a hole and make him walk funny.

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3300 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost…

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9   Part 10   Part 11   Part 12   Part 13   Part 14   Part 15  Part 16

Part 17

Billy couldn’t stop gawking at you, wondering how it was possible you grew more beautiful each time he saw you. The red wrap dress you were wearing accentuated all your curves, and it took every bit of willpower he had not to rip it off of you and fuck you senseless right then and there. Unfortunately, he had to behave himself. Caravan was a pretty bouji place that had recently been labelled as one of the hottest restaurants in Manhattan and he had to pull a few strings to get a last-minute reservation for tonight. But seeing the smile on your face when you realized this was where you were dining had been completely worth all the hassle.

As the hostess guided the two of you to your table, he noticed a few assholes at the bar admiring you from afar. Immediately he snaked his arm around your waist to draw you in closer. You were his. If he could he’d pluck out every one of those fuckers’ eyes so they never made the mistake of looking at you again. Better yet, he’d keep you locked behind closed doors. Of course you wouldn’t agree to anything like that because you were too goddamn independent for your own good.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, taking a seat at your designated table.

Billy’s attention returned to your face as he followed suit, his gaze inhaling you in. “You look too hot. Too many assholes staring at you,” he grumbled.

The worried look on your face was replaced with a beaming smile, one that made his cock twitch.

“You’re being ridiculous” you remarked, scanning the menu.

His eyes drifted down to your chest, the swell of your soft, supple breasts just begging to be kissed and licked by him.

“Stop staring at my boobs, Billy,” you chastised even as a small smile graced your lips. “This is a proper first date. You can’t just ogle me like that. You have to behave like a gentleman.”

He quirked his eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I’ve never been that.”

“Well, try,” you ordered.

The waitress came by with the bottle of red wine you’d requested and poured some in both of your glasses. He noticed the redhead giving him a friendly smile, her green eyes lingering on him for a second too long. Fine, yeah, she may have been hot but she wasn’t you. No one was. So while he would have happily slipped her his number in the past, now the idea of being with someone who wasn’t you no longer excited him.

Once she left, he took the opportunity to move a few inches closer to you. What he really wanted was to get on his knees and bury his head between your legs, but something told him eating you out in in the crowded restaurant wouldn’t go over very well with you.

“I think she likes you.”

Hand propped on the back of your chair, he started playing with your hair. “Who?”

“Our waitress. She didn’t look at me once, her eyes were on you the entire time.”

He leaned in, ecstatic at the thought of you acting possessive. Even though you’d confessed to having feelings for him, Billy still worried you were ready to bolt at any moment. To see you jealous meant you genuinely cared and he didn’t have to worry about you leaving him. “She’s not my type. I have my eyes on someone else.”

You made a show of looking around the restaurant. “Oh, is Madani here too?”

“Funny,” he retorted, taking your hand in his.

“Your ginger’s lucky. I’m dressed way too nice or I’d take my knife and stab her with it.”

He smirked. “You’re vicious when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I just don’t like bad service.”

“Bullshit.”

“Billy, you’re hot. You know that. All the women here are checking you out. If I freaked out every time someone did that, I’d have a breakdown.”

He wanted to destroy the fucking world at the thought of someone even looking at you but apparently you were simply ambivalent about him. “So it’s that easy for you? Your brain tells you to turn off a feeling and your heart just does it?” Even to his own ears he sounded bitter. “Guess you’re not all that invested in me.”

Your eyebrow quirked up, apparently surprised by his edgy tone. “Do you want me to go nuts?”

“Just want you to give a damn.”

“You think I don’t?” you snapped. “Every time she looks at you I want to tear her hair out. Even though the rational part of me knows she’s probably just flirting with you because it’s part of her job or she’s hoping for big tips. Or maybe she really does want to fuck you. Either way, I want to punch her across the face. Happy?” You gulped down your wine.

Grinning, he squeezed your hand. “Then why not just tell me that? Why act like you don’t care?”

The agitated expression on your face was replaced with tenderness, your eyes soft. “Just because I don’t have a jealous fit doesn’t mean I don’t care. I just…” You exhaled a sigh, and he sensed this was difficult for you. “I express my emotions differently than you.”

“I noticed. You put on an act while holding everything in.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“But I want you, the real you, not the version everyone else sees.”

“It’s not that easy, Billy.”

He brought your palm to his lips. “I’d never told anyone about my mother.”

“You didn’t tell me either,” you pointed out.

“You found out anyway, and I’m so fucking glad you did. Otherwise I wouldn’t have realized I could be real with you.” He placed a tender kiss on your skin. “I don’t want to hide anything from you, Y/N.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Then tell me about William Rawlins.”

Your request gave him pause, his eyes roaming over your face. He’d taken painstaking measures to keep his partnership with Rawlins a secret yet you’d discovered it. “What do you want to know?”

“He gave you a lot of money.”

“I earned that money,” he said in a defensive tone. “He and I were partners for a while. Then he died.”

“You went to a lot of trouble to hide your connection to him.”

“You found out about it though.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m good at what I do.”

“Yeah, too good,” he muttered. He released your hand, watching you intently. “So what do you want to know?”

You leaned in closer, your voice barely above a whisper. He was momentarily distracted by the sensation of your tits pressed against him but he forced himself to concentrate.

“What happened to Rawlins, did you have anything to do with it?”

Billy took a swig of his wine. “Why do you think that?”

You quirked your eyebrow at him. “Knifed by someone in the parking lot. They never found the guy who did it.”

“He had a lot of enemies,” he pointed out.

“Okay, so maybe I was wrong.”

He studied you for several seconds, trying to decide if he should take the leap or not. “You’re not wrong.”

Realization dawned on your face as the truth set in. “Why did you do it?”

“You sure you want to know?”

“I’m asking, aren’t I?”

So he told you, about Operation Cerberus, his role in it and the money he earned, how he’d eliminated Rawlins a year ago when the prick plotted to take out Frank and his family. To this day Frank didn’t know about Billy’s partnership with Rawlins or how close he came to dying and he intended to keep it that way.

Throughout his confession his eyes were glued to your face, gauging your reactions. The part of him determined to do anything to be a success, the one who didn’t let society’s morals get in the way of his ambitions, would never be accepted by his closest friends. Despite the myriad of reasons to have kept that side of himself hidden, he didn’t want to do that with you. Because as risky as it was to be so open with you, it was also exhilarating. There was no one in this world he’d ever been this honest with and that kind of intense connection with you was addictive. He wanted you to know everything about him, all of the dark and vicious thoughts that ran through his head, the burning ambition that kept pushing him forward. He wanted you to know him inside and out and he wanted the same from you.

Before he could prod you to speak your mind the server came by with your dishes, setting your meals on the table. The redhead took her time, all the whilst your gaze was focused on the table, avoiding his. Billy’s heart started to pound in his chest, he was suddenly filled with doubt. Had he made a mistake in telling you the truth? Did he just completely fuck this up? Every second the goddamn redhead lingered at the table felt like an eternity when all he wanted was to shake you out of your stupor.

The second the server left, he moved in on you. “Are you gonna say something?”

You finally looked at him, your forehead burrowed. “We need to do a better job of hiding your history with Rawlins. I found it, that means someone else can too.”

“You gonna help me with that?”

You shook your head ‘yes’. “Yeah, I have to. You need me.”

“What I did doesn’t bother you?”

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “Of course it does, but there’s nothing I can do about it. You’ve seen me at my worst and you didn’t judge me. I won’t do that to you either. Besides, when the universe deals you a shitty hand you’ve got to find other ways to even out your odds.”

A strange feeling of warmth flooded over him, compelling him to angle forward and kiss you on the lips.

You pulled away a second later, smiling at him as you rubbed the corner of his mouth. “This lipstick isn’t kiss-proof.”

“I don’t care.” Wicked visions of you flashed through his mind. Your bold red lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him off the way he liked it. His cum spread over your tits, your neck, your lips. The taste of your sweet, delicious cunt on his tongue as he fucked you with his mouth. The heat of your tongue against his as he rammed into you over and over-

“Stop looking at me like that,” you warned.

“Then stop looking so hot,” he snarked.

You smiled, biting down on your bottom lip.

It blew his mind how sweet and shy you were when he paid you compliments, like you didn’t expect that from him. Obviously he needed to fix that, because you deserved to know how insanely beautiful you were all the time.

“Has Anvil been okay without Rawlins?” you asked, taking a bite out of your butternut squash ravioli.

Swallowing his steak, he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “It was tough for a while but we’ve been doing pretty well the last few months.”

“You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished, Billy. You took a big risk going into business for yourself and you made it work. That’s amazing. I could never do that.”

Billy’s insides radiated with happiness. Other than Curtis and Frank he never really had people who genuinely believed in him so to have you cheering him on was exalting. Especially considering you were great at what you did and he had so much respect for you.

He poured himself and you more wine before reaching for your hand again. “I think you could. You’d make a shitload of money if you freelanced.”

You shook your head ‘no’. “No way, I’m too much of a coward to take a risk like that.” You took a sip of your wine. “Plus I get to go to Paris for work.”

“Or you could go to Paris on vacation and not work.”

“Then I’d have to pay for it,” you pointed out, grinning. “When you grow up the way I did, you learn to appreciate free things.”

Your enthusiasm was infectious, he couldn’t hep but smile back. A part of him was hoping this would be the perfect opening for you to talk more about your childhood, about everything you went through, because he desperately wanted you to trust him as much as he trusted you with his secrets.

“I’ll be there for two weeks,” you continued, oblivious to his disappointment. “We’re going to scout out locations for the new branch and-”

“We?” Billy interjected.

You cast him a quick glance. “Roger’s coming with me on the trip.”

The jealousy that struck him felt like a swift kick to his gut. Images of you and that goddamn bastard traipsing around and enjoying romantic date nights in Paris assaulted his mind. Agitated, he pulled his hand from yours. “I bet that fucker can’t wait to be alone with you.”

“Billy, come on. You can’t be serious.”

“How would you feel if I took off with someone who wanted to fuck me?”

“First of all, he doesn’t want me.”

His jaw clenched with frustration as he glared at you. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s thought about fucking you.”

“Even if he does, I don’t want him.” You reached out to cup his face, your voice so soft and tender in your attempts to placate him that he momentarily forgot how upset he was. “You really think I’d jeopardize what we have for a fling with Roger? I wouldn’t do that.”

“Then don’t go. Turn him down.”

Irritation flickered over your face, he could tell you were done coddling him. “Billy, you have no right to ask me that. I’d never interfere with your work.”

Underneath all that jealousy he knew you were right. As much as he despised the idea of you going away to Paris with another guy, he couldn’t demand that you not go on work trips. If you did that to him, it would annoy the fuck out of him. Yet despite his rational side recognizing he was asking for too much, he couldn’t help but feel bitter. “That asshole’s gonna make a move on you, I know it.”

“What if he does? What do you think is gonna happen?”

Hs eyes met yours, urgently seeking some kind of validation from you. “You tell me.”

“Do you think I’m going to sleep with him?”

He flinched. “Don’t talk about fucking another guy, please. You’re gonna make me lose my appetite.”

You took his hand and placed it over your left breast, probably to distract him from all the disgusting images that were running through his brain. “I wanted you so badly and even then it took me like a month to fuck you. Trust me, I’m not going to sleep with him when I’m not even attracted to him.”

Spotting the earnestness in your eyes, the knot in his stomach finally loosened. Roger may have had a hard-on for you but Billy knew you felt nothing for the fucker. He’d noticed that even at the night of the gala. So that meant he had to trust you, there was no reason not to. “Call me every night when you’re there,” he grumbled.

“Every night? You’re probably going to start blocking my calls,” you laughed.

He booped your nose. “Every. Fucking. Night.”

You beamed. “Fine.” A wicked glint flashed in your eyes, a seductive smile on your lips as you slowly moved his hand lower, his fingers now on your nipple. “Hey, just ‘cause you’re not there with me doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

He stroked your nipple over the fabric of your dress, enjoying how the nub hardened under his touch, the way your breath hitched in your throat when he continued his ministrations. With his other hand he tucked your hair behind your ear, whispering to you. “Phone sex is alright, but nothing beats this.” His tongue curved along the shell of your ear, and you trembled against him. “Right?”

The waitress seemed to come out of nowhere this time to ask how your meals were, and you jumped back. Disappointed, he sighed.

“Food was great. Thank you,” you replied, smiling stiffly at the redhead.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“Privacy would be great,” Billy muttered.                                                            

You kicked him under the table. “Dessert menu?”

“Sure. I’ll bring it right over,” the waitress said, taking your plates away.  

“I’ll give you all the sugar you want once we get outta here,” he murmured seductively, caressing your thigh.

You giggled, rolling your eyes. “That’s a terrible line!” You took his hand and removed it from your thigh. “Billy, I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”

“Why not?”                                                      

“Because it’s our first date and I don’t put out on the first date.”

“Now that’s a terrible line,” he fired back, mimicking your earlier tone.

“Also, we already had sex this morning.”

“So? I’m greedy. I can’t get enough of you.” There was that shy smile of yours again, and he reached out to give you a sweet peck on the cheek. “You blush every time I tease you.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, it’s adorable.”

Your cheeks grew even more red. “I’m not used to it from you. A part of me still thinks you’re bullshitting me.”

Billy stiffened. “Really?”

“I know you’re not playing me,” you reassured. “It’s on me, not you. I just have a hard time accepting when good things happen.”

The waitress came by with the dessert menu. He briefly glanced at it before ordering a slice of pecan pie while you ordered a piece of chocolate cake.

As soon as the redhead left, he broached the topic with you again. “I’m not gonna hurt you, babe. You have to believe that.”

You didn’t look at him, your eyes fixed somewhere on his chest. “I do. You were so pissed off at me last night. I honestly expected you to hit me because you were so angry. But you didn’t.”

It made him sick to his stomach that you actually thought him capable of hitting you. It hadn’t even occurred to him that you would worry about that, but of course you would. With your childhood it made perfect sense, he was just a fucking idiot who hadn’t realized how much it still impacted you. “I’m never gonna lay a hand on you. I swear.” His eyes locked with yours, hoping you can sense how much he meant those words.

“I believe you.”

His voice was insistent, his gaze boring into you. “Why did you think I would?”

Your eyes wavered from his eyes to his lips for a long time, the atmosphere thick with tension. Your facial expressions ran the gamut of painful emotions, from uncertainty to fear to sheer panic.

It finally sank in that maybe the reason you were keeping the truth from him had noting to do with if you trusted him or not. Maybe you didn’t want to be assaulted by memories from the past that caused you so much pain. The last thing he wanted was for you to experience that hell again. Regretting his demanding tone, his hands caressed down the length of your arms. “You don’t have to tell me, It’s okay.”

Your eyes brimmed with aching vulnerability as you looked up at him. “I want to… I just… give me some time, okay?” You pressed your lips against his, giving him the softest, sweetest kiss. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight for so long, I don’t want to ruin it, you know?”

His heart felt full, his mind reeling with wonderment at the thought of you truly reciprocating his feelings. His arms wrapped around you as you sank into him, burying your face in his chest. His fingers stroked the back of your hair, murmuring soft, soothing words to you. Somewhere in the distance he heard the server’s voice trying to interject, but he didn’t give a damn.  He was yours and you were his and nothing was going to ruin that. Nothing.

Part 18

A/N - I realize not much happened in this chapter but I just reallly wanted to write a dialogue heavy part where they simply get to know and enjoy each other. I think they’ve earned some fluff. LOL.

As always, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Please let me know your thoughts.

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[enigmaticxbee]

11x01 My Struggle III

The one where... the previous finale was all a vision sent to Scully from William, and CSM makes BS claims about William to Skinner.

Tagline: I Want to ..LIE..

Best: -

Worst: I’ve been putting off rewatching this episode for (checks watch) 4 years because the first time I saw it I found it to be:

A. a terribly written, boring episode to watch - is this an episode of txf or a car commercial?;

B. full of CC’s worst mytharc exposition monologing impulses;

C. frustrating because after 2 years of waiting to see how they would resolve the cliffhanger from the season 10 finale instead everything’s wiped away so that we can go back to the case of the week status quo; and

D. viscerally upsetting - this episode of my favorite show made me feel BAD. I can count on one hand the times I’ve been this emotionally disturbed by a piece of media. Yes, after 20 years I am overly emotional invested in this fictional universe and particularly in these characters, but this isn’t something that should be treated as a cool plot twist, especially when Scully’s bodily autonomy and relationship to motherhood is handled as badly as it has been on this show.

I powered through this rewatch - see below for a more detailed list of things I hated! - and I’m never watching this awful episode again.

❌ Flashlights

❌ Woods/Desert

❌ Slideshow

❌ Autopsy

❌ Evidence Disappears

❌ Scully Misses It

❌ Mulder Ditch (I mean, not exactly)

❌ Sunflower Seeds

✔️ Voiceover

✔️ Catch Phrase (IWTB: tagline)

✔️ Scully is a (Medical) Doctor

❌ Mulder is Spooky

❌ Scuuullllaaaaayy! Muullllderrrr!

❌ Fox/Dana

✔️ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)

❌ Casual Scully

❌ Casual Mulder

❌ Trench Coats

❌ Bad Tie Watch

✔️ Glasses Watch 😎

✔️ Taking! It! Personally!: Mulder & Scully

50 States: South Carolina x3 & DC x106 (44/50)

Investigate: Together & Apart

Solve Rate: 57%

✔️ Bechdel Test

MSR: 🐝🐝🐝

Goriness: 👽👽👽

Creepiness: 👽

Humor: 👽

Rewatch Thoughts:

William check-in: Look, CSM’s a known lier, Mulder is William’s father. Here are my En Ami thoughts and my pregnancy timeline thoughts. Any other explanation’s bad for my mental health, so that’s what I’m sticking with. Besides, see the tagline.

Break-up check-in: Everyone treats them like significant others, they treat each other that way, I guess that’s that?

Things I hate:

1. This time we get CSM’s struggle 🤢 - why is CC so obsessed with him

2. The frantic cutting and editing

3. That I’m not immune to Mulder and Scully’s close talking, even when what they’re saying is absolute nonsense

4. That we’re still doing the Monica Reyes character assassination from MSII

5. The Mulder voiceover - I don’t think we’ve ever gotten internal monologue voiceover like this before and it doesn’t feel right

6. The car chases - WTF is this

7. It was Jeffrey Spender that arranged William’s adoption??? Is that a retcon? Why would Scully have trusted him with that even if she did believe that what he did to the baby in the episode William took away his alien abilities (which it clearly didn’t, at least not permanently). I start think about any of this and immediately spiral into WTF are we doing here 😫

8. CSM and Reyes discussing plot holes 🙄

9. “your desk” 😑

10. Driving, driving, driving

11. Scully, a Medical Doctor - as she reminds us so often - signing herself out of the hospital AMA after a seizure, suffering another one, then getting in the car and causing an accident that could have killed her or someone else!! She’s clearly not in her right mind but this just doesn’t feel in character to me.

12. Hand waving away the alien invasion, I guess because we’ve destroyed the planet in last 20 years and they don’t want it any more?

13. This new duo’s plan. CSM won’t expect Mulder? The man who’s shoved his gun in his face countless times and demanded the truth? I mean, Mulder’s never pulled the trigger so I guess he wouldn’t expect him to actually kill him (if anyone can - remember when CSM’s face exploded, I do!)

14. More driving!!

15. Seeing Scully brutally attacked and fighting for her life - again

16. That I find Mulder slitting a man’s throat to save Scully in any way hot

17. Wait, who sent the assassin and why? Eh, who cares

18. That we’re going back to the distrusting Skinner well yet again

19. Mulder and Skinner’s stupid little fight - you’re grown men, use your words!

20. I already disliked the episode En Ami… but to imply via flashback 18 years later that our protagonist was - unbeknownst to her or the viewers - either raped or medically raped… The ending to this episode is upsetting on so many levels.

21. The term impregnated her with science WTF

22. I…

Things I don’t hate:

1. Mulder’s silver stubble

2. Mulder telling Skinner that where he’s needed is at Scully’s bedside

3. Scully: You need him, and I need you. She hasn’t looked for William for all these years for his own protection, however much that must have hurt her, but for Mulder she’ll do it.

4. The thigh grasp handhold

5. Again, Mulder looks fucking hot - just watch a couple gifs and skip this absolutely garbage episode

[cherthegoddess]

Then There Was You- Chapter Six

Pairing: Tom HollandxScreenwriter!AssistantDirector!Reader

Summary: Y/n is a screenwriter for her first movie called Hurts so Bad where she meets Tom Holland who plays the male lead, William. The cast tries their best to push the two together. Will they be successful or will the two do the getting together on their own?

Warnings: This was written with a black reader in mind, but anyone can read it.

Word Count: 1.6K+

Join my taglist and rate the story here!

Masterlist

Previous Chapter I Next Chapter

Chapter 6: 

It had been two months since the cast and crew party and since Y/n finally admitted her feelings toward Tom to herself. Her feelings only grew for the man. The teasing from her friends actually dwindled since she talked to them about the situation. Tom and Y/n had become steadily closer, sometimes even hanging out together alone in his room. It was a struggle to not talk to anyone about liking Tom. To not tell anyone how her heart swelled anytime he called her, love or darling. Or when he laughed at something she said. It was already hard enough for her to admit it to herself, but admitting it to everyone else was going to be even harder. So she made a plan. Lori was coming to visit within the day and Micheal, Ryan, and she was planning to have a quick little lunch together. Y/n decided she would tell them then and hopefully convince them to seize on the teasing at least around Tom. 

Y/n then focused back on the scene at hand. “I like being friends with you, Aliyah,” Ryan’s face looked down in disappointment. “I like being friends with you, too Willaim,” she said trying to hide her sadness. Their conversation pauses. “I have to go. See you tomorrow,” Ryan says in a rush and walks off the scene. In the scene Aliyah is hiding her emotions, she never thought that the movie would ever correlate with her life, but Ryan acted her feelings perfectly.  “Cut! We might run through the scene a couple of more times after our lunch break! Great job people see you at 4!” Ryan C. said. Y/n talked to Ryan about some lighting changes they could make and moving the camera to a slightly different position. She watched as Tom talked to a few of the crew members, she could vaguely hear him ask about their families. He always seemed so genuinely invested in every conversation he had. He must’ve felt her eyes on him because he looked up and winked at her, then quickly got back in the conversation. She felt her heart flutter at the motion. She was a goner for sure.

When Y/n and Ryan’s conversation concluded, she went to go grab a bottle of water. Just as she grabbed one she felt a pair of hands cover her eyes. “Guess who?” said the person dragging out the o’s. Y/n almost exploded with excitement when she turned around. "LORIII my love. I missed you so much!” Y/n said hugging her friend. Lori and she had been friends since they were kids. Though she and the other girls were close, Lori and Y/n had been through it all, they were practically sisters. “I missed you too, sis! Now put your hand out,” Lori and Y/n had this tradition whenever they hadn’t seen each other they would do a handshake, and not just anyone it was the infamous Peter and Ned one. Y/n grinned at this, sticking her hand out to complete their handshake. She hadn’t noticed that Tom was watching with Ryan and Micheal until she heard his laugh. “Wait, isn’t that Peter and Ned’s handshake?” Micheal answered him with a laugh. “Yeah Lor and Y/n/n have been doing that ever since they saw Spiderman: Homecoming. They’re the biggest Marvel fans I know.” Y/n shrugged her shoulders and Lori went to introduce herself. “Tom! It’s so nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you and I’m a huge fan!” Lori hugged​​ Tom. Tom hugged her back. “It’s wonderful to meet you as well. Y/n talks about your friendship often during our movie nights.” Lori raises an eyebrow at Y/n finally noticing the way she looks at him. “Movie nights, huh? I haven’t heard about these.” Before Y/n can say anything Ryan quickly jumps in, “And we’ve only been invited once to their little hangouts.” Y/n’s mouth gapes open, “It’s because you never say yes when we do invite you! We gave up asking like 5 weeks ago!” Tom laughs at the group, seeing how close they were. Micheal wraps his arms around Lori, “Well we have to run off to lunch before Y/n and Ryan have to get back to it! See you soon Tom.” The group says their goodbyes and Tom hugs Y/n after the majority leaves. Lori eyes the two in amusement. 

The group is seated, settled, and took their round of pictures.

Lori asked a question after taking a sip of wine. “So, what’s the tea with you and Tom?” Y/n nearly choked on her own when she heard the question and the group laughed, Ryan, patting her back. Y/n clearing her throat and sitting up straighter. “I actually want to talk to guys about him. As you all heard earlier, we’ve been hanging out a lot these past few months but before that, the night of the cast and crew party. I, um, discovered something. I… Gosh, I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud. I think I like Tom.” The group looks at her and then at each other and laughs. “Thank god you’re finally admitting it to yourself, Y/n/n, and to us, but babe we been knew. Also Michael you owe me! I told you she would tell us this month!” Ryan puts her hand out. “Yeah, sis, Ryan, and Michael have been telling me all about your little crush since day one. I knew nothing about the bet though. Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell us though. I know it's been hard for you to express your romantic feelings towards people.” The group nods their heads in agreement. “So what do you plan on doing about it?” Michael asks. Y/n puts her head in her hands and looks back up running her hands through her hair. “I don’t know Mike, I don’t even think he feels the same way. I think I just want to enjoy looking at him and spending time with him. I don’t want to ruin our friendship more than anything. And if our friendship is messed up filming will be too. I just-” Lori cuts her off, “Y/n/n, babe, you’re overthinking. Take a breath. It’s okay if you’re not ready yet. But Tom definitely likes you, from the posts I’ve seen and the little interaction that I’ve seen, he likes you. Enjoy your time with him and tell him about your feelings when you’re ready.” Y/n smiles are the group as they comforted her. “I love you, guys you’re all the best. But no more making bets on me or teasing. I’m talking about you Ryan.” Ryan laughs but takes Y/n’s feelings seriously promising not to do it again. The group is soon interrupted by the waiter bringing their food. Y/n grins when she sees, “I love Atlanta,” The group laughs at Y/n’s goofiness. 

It was finally the end of the day and Y/n was exhausted from the day. They went through a couple of more scenes throughout the day. Even then she had to say to work on some things two hours later. She was glad to finally make it back to her room. Y/n kicked off her shoes and grumbled about what she was going to eat. Most things were closed at this time. There was then a knock on her door. She tiredly gets up off the chair she was almost comfortable in and opens it. There was Tom standing there with a bag of something that smelled amazing and a huge grin on his handsome face. She watched it fall when he glanced her over, there was a pang in her chest when a grown graced his face, she’d do anything to bring it back. So she smiles trying to push the tiredness off her face but her voice claims it instead. “Hey, Spider-boy what do you got there?” She winces when she hears her voice. “Y/n, darling, you look exhausted. I brought you some food because I figured you haven’t eaten yet. Go sit down and relax, I already warmed it up before I came I’ll get some plates.” Tom nudges her towards the bed. She obliges, giving up because she is so tired. She turns on Netflix and switches it to Supernatural a show the two had been watching together since she found out Tom had never seen it. About five minutes into the episode, Tom comes in with what looks to be two plates of fried rice and sesame chicken. Y/n perks up with excitement when she saw it. It looked to be from the place they tried a few weeks ago and she loved it. He hands her the plate and she practically breathes it in. “Tom you’re the absolute best, thank you so much. I owe you one,” she says with food in her mouth. Tom chuckles at her and grabs a napkin wiping the food off her face. She felt her face grow warm at the gesture. “It’s no problem, love. I’m just glad to be here with you. I don’t understand how you watch this show while you’re eating.” Y/n nudges his side shhing him to watch the show. They watch the show moving their plates aside when they were done. Y/n puts her head on Tom’s shoulder slowly starting to doze off. When he notices, he wraps the blanket around her slowly getting up to leave, and maybe her tiredness gets the better of her but she asks him to stay. And he does.

Next Chapter

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[lilkermit14]

Lavender & Mint

Fem!reader x Pero Tovar 

Synposis: In the conventional village of Cullfield lived an unconventional woman who served as an apothecary for the townsfolk. Stubborn and set in her ways, the woman of three tens remains unmarried and childless and plans to continue as such for the rest of her life, much to the horror and confusion of the village. But this unconventional woman has some surprises in store for her when an unconventional man named Pero Tovar rides into town, an event that will change both her and his plans forever—and may flip Cullfield upside down too.

Notes: Idk why I kept mentioning poop complications this chapter but I’m sorry and enjoy. It’s been a while but the CHAPTER is here. Please reblog!!!!

General Warnings: minor injuries, slow-burn, eventual smut, blood, childbirth

For this chapter: Non-sexual references to poop, mention pregnancy, murder, implicit brief reference to infanticide or child abandonment, pre-marital pregnancy and it’s complications in the 1400s, religious “morals”. 

Chapter 5: Garlic 

Last chapter // Next chapter

“When was the last time you passed bowels, Mister Ashdown?” you inquire, pressing on the old man’s stomach knowing you have found the root cause of his stomach issues. He blinks for a moment thinking as he lays on your observation table, before telling you, “quite some time I’m afraid.”

“I see,” you move your hands away putting your hands on your hips, “well, it seems that you just have a case of constipation––burdensome but not something hard to fix or that will have you laying on your deathbed.”

“You sure?” he asks, almost confused, moving to rise up from the table by himself only for you to come to his assistance. You clarify yourself, “Yes, you have many signs that point to it. It can be caused by a lack of competitive foods in your diet and is more likely with old age.”

“I’m not that old,” He interjects, but you compete, “Yes, but you're old enough for a blockage sir––you’ll be glad to know you’ll live to be truly old as long the burden is treated.”

He huffs now in a sitting position with legs dangling from the table, “so what do you have so i’ll shit.”

You huff at his language, “standard garlic will help move the process along, and I’m suggesting you make sure to eat more greens and berries to clear your system.”

You always assumed that you were let free to discuss any matters with your patients when they were the only ones in the shop, as no one else resided in your residence besides you. But that arrangement had changed and you were not the only one that resided in your home, “If my cock and bowels stop working just have someone put me out of my misery.”

You turn rigid and scandalized to see the face of Pero Tovar standing in your back entrance of the shop—entered unbeknownst to you through quiet steps and a lack of clear view. Mister Ashdown has no qualms defending himself, “I’m only five tens and if my cock doesn’t work how is my wife pregnant?”

You want to scream having to hear this conversation and did certainly not want to be reminded of the conversations you were subjected to by Farrah Ashdown. When the woman at four tens and five found out she was pregnant she spared no expense in telling you how it happened. You opted to rush him along before you could get his account of what he does with his wife, “okay sir here’s your supply get going now.”

“Enjoy the shit,” you hear Pero say and before mister ashdown can respond he is out your door. You turn to Pero fury and rage evident on your face as you are prepared to let the flames of hell loose on him. All he has is a stupid look on his face as he lets out the word, “what?”

“You bastard,” you begin pointing your finger at him moving towards him with menace in your voice towards a man that stands unbothered, “you do not talk to ANY of my clients in such manner especially in my shop.”

“Why is that hermosa? I would be rude to that man outside of your business, what makes your apothecary different?” He queries again with that name, only increasing your anger and distaste for him at the moment. With clenched teeth, you answer him, “I don’t care what you say to Mister Ashdown in town, but my shop is a place of respect––a place where anyone can come for health problems even if they are embarrassing. I want people to know they won’t be judged here because if they feel like they will be, they will come when it’s too late and I can’t do anything for them.”

Pero raises his brow at you, but lets you continue your rant uninterrupted, “When my mother was still alive, a young woman at ten and six came to us complaining of diarrhea, something she was embarrassed to talk about because it was gross and she did not want suitors to find out. Turns out she had sickness from a miasma––we took one look down the town well and discovered a deer had fallen in and died overnight.”

“That was lucky,” he comments, still invested in your story despite the vile nature of talking about excretion. You continue, “Yes, and we may not have caught it so soon if she didn’t come to us. The sickness is fast acting, in hours many more villagers could have been sick, but it was only her––and she lived.”

“Lived?” you smile at his question feeling pride at the healing powers your mom had and hope you live up to, “Yes, the sickness causes dehydration quickly but if you keep the person well hydrated and area clean to prevent reinfection––they will live. This summer she gave birth to her third child at my aid.”

“So their trust is important to you?” you give him a simple nod, glad he is understanding what you were asking of him. You turn to clean up the materials you had brought out to examine Mister Ashdown, not realizing that Pero was not done with questions, “Like how that woman came to you the other day crying in distress?”

You freeze––you had really thought the interest in Mariam had ended when William had first asked you about her the day after asking if she was okay. You nodded and told him it was just feminine needs and didn’t serve much interest in men, something that usually turned men away from asking questions. Well not Pero Tovar I guess, “Why was she crying?”

“It’s a complicated matt––”

“Things of safety are something I have to worry about you know,” He interjects, and you turn your head looking at him to see something serious cross his face, “I have to keep everyone in this village safe––you in particular hermosa––and I want to know if theres something you need to tell me.”

“Part of gaining trust is not telling personal information,” you counter, pulling together to formulate a lie, “It’s nothing of safety she was upset about something––she’s a friend of sorts to me.”

You can tell he doesn’t buy it––he can probably pull the full story together even though you doubt he’s heard a single thing about Mariam’s husband beating her––but he accepts, slouching and learning against a table in thought, “William and I may go for a short hunt––there's not much action in this town I’m afraid and we could use some fresh game.”

You nod, “If you catch any pigeon, I know how to handle it so it's not gamey.”

He huffs, “We're not very good hunters I’m afraid, so you’ll probably only get that or rabbit.”

–––––––––––––––––––

Pero Tovar had useful traits to him––like getting you pigeons––but he was mostly an annoyance. His mere presence always had you on edge, as you waited for something, something from him. It was usually something he said but if not it was his scent or stench rather of pine and something that was him. It was also his sloppy manner, the way he seemed raised with no table manners as he ate all your meals. He spoiled Mite, petting him and feeding him table scraps much to your despair. He was also too loud, his boots filling up the cottage and shop with noise, something that never usually happened.

You lent some time today to make more bread for the household, settling at your dining table and working the necessary ingredients for dough together. Mite lays in the corner, not doing his job as per usual and watching you with some sort of interest in the mannerisms of bread making, but he was likely just hoping for more food in the future. Kneading dough you begin to imagine the dough is Pero kneading your frustration into it. You press and it is his stupid broad shoulders that take up too much space. You pull, it’s the curls on the nape of his neck that are too unruly and untidy. You slam it down, it’s that stupid smile that appears on his face when you have entertained him. God you hate Pero Tovar.

“You may want to stop before you overwork the dough sweetheart,” You stop and see Mildred Becker staring at you with an amused look on her face. You huff Jesus, what does she want, “Sorry for my state, I didn’t hear you enter.”

“Don’t worry I understand too well––I always work out my anger into the dough,” you chuckle a little thinking about how a woman with too many children works out anger the same way as you––you definitely hate Pero Tovar, “I just stopped by because I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

You perk up, “Is Cateline suffering from baby blues again.”

“No, No thank the lord––we’ve been watching over her better this time,” Mildred rounds off, and you remember despite the grievances she gives you, she is a good mother to her children. She was the first to notice that something was wrong with her daughter after the birth and came to you to talk about it. From there Cateline was able to recover and enjoy motherhood, “Something with your house guest Pero Tovar has come to my attention.”

“What did he do,” You ask, prepared to beat Pero Tovar with your broom, but Mildred settles you, “nothing he did, just something someone is doing around him.”

You raise your brow at her beckoning her to continue, “You know Stanislava Rolfe?”

“Of course,” you affirm, surprised she is asking you such a question when you have treated everyone in Cullfield five times over. Mildred continues, “Yes well, She has begun to work at the Inn as a barmaid––she did well with charming Balthasar I guess.”

You were wondering why a poor farmer's daughter’s career path interested you, but you didn’t interject, “I happened to take a quick ale there with my husband, when I noticed something with her and Pero Tovar. You see she appeared extra flirtatious with him––and although barmaids usually are flirty with men in hopes for extra coin, it was more intentional.”

You frown, how could such a beautiful young girl be interested in such a disgusting brute, “Why is she interested in him?”

“Who knows? Many of the girls around Cullfield were excited to see unfamiliar battle-hardened men I supposed,” She ponders for a moment, “all we do know is that she is likely interested in him.”

“I don’t think he is interested in taking a wife,” You contest, brushing aside that Pero would have feelings for the young girl of two tens. Mildred just gives you a hardened stare, “He doesn’t have to be interested in matrimony to want something from her.”

Oh

“Was he showing interest back?” you dig trying to figure out the full extent of what you are formulating must be a whirlwind romance. Mildred hums, “no I suppose not, but sometimes men take persistent interest as a way to have a good time.”

You bite your lip remembering that Pero did not fornicate with prostitutes but barmaids, and feel a ball of ache and pain in your stomach at the thought. Mildred instates, “I came to you about this because I want you to try to stop it.”

“Stop it?”

“Yes, make it clear he is to not have such guests,” Mildred explains, and you can tell by her tone and expression you are in for some sort of story, “You know well enough that things go arigh when an unmarried woman gets pregnant, right.”

“Of course,” you remember the chaos that erupted in families when one of their daughters ended up pregnant, and the hasty weddings that came from it. But Mildred had a different story, “although most of the time it gets swept under the rug with a quick marriage and everyone just chooses to ignore it––horrid things can happen when there's not one.”

Mildred sits down at the nearby table, in clear thought of something dark and you go to sit down at a nearby chair, “When I was about ten and eight, and old enough to understand these things, a girl was taken advantage of by a soldier in our village. She was ten and six, and him far older so he should have had the wisdom not to mess with her. What mattered was after it happened, he left with his troop and was never seen in my home village again. She got pregnant, and tried to hide it at first––her mom was dead and she had no older sisters or aunts to go to, so she was afraid to go to her father. When it became too obvious, hate inspired awful things in the leaders of the village, and by the time she gave birth it accumulated.”

Mildred takes a moment to pause, emotions brewing inside her and you feel yourself frozen in place, “she tried to talk to them, pleading, saying he pressured her––persuaded her, but they all pointed and said witch and condemned her son too. She was burn’t at the stake, and her son––well he was never seen again.”

A pause fills the air as you sit in shock, digesting what Mildred has told you, “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

Mildred huffs, “I’m sorry too, I made sure to get a husband that would get me out of that village and landed a good one on the way––I had seen what that village did to women and children for the sake of moral value and did not intend to stay so my daughters could see too. Adultery is a two person crime that only one party, the feminine one, receives punishment for.”

“So that's why Pero and Stanislava are of such concern to you?” You assume, and Mildred nods, “Although I think Cullfield is of better standing, I don’t desire to find out what they would do if such a case erupted. The girl may be doing this because she intends to capture a man with a better job, but mercenaries rest for a few women and not those of ten and eight.”

“I can understand her intentions I suppose,” you contemplate, believing that she doesn’t hold much true interest in him, but for a better life. Mildred hums, “so is there a chance you can talk to Pero about it?”

“I already established that he is to not bring guests into my home, and I doubt they would find a secluded enough place otherwise,” you reassure, standing up, “I can even remind him today if you would like.”

“That would be good,” Mildred agrees, joining you in standing and allowing you to guide her to the door, “be on the lookout too if you see her come preying––even though he lacks true interest.”

“I will,” you say, and somewhere in your heart you feel prepared to beat Stanislava Rolfe with your broom instead of Pero.

________________

Gardening was no easy task but it was the most necessary task the runner of an apothecary and a household had. Today your tending to crops was more focused on your food supply rather than collecting the necessary ingredients to keep your shop running. You're pleased to see that the last of your harvest grew well, and know that your winter stock will last even with your house guest. You had already pulled out all the carrots, and beets, and had shucked the vines wounding your house of beans and brussel sprouts. You were now left to work at the tough vines of the gourds and squash, planning on leaving the single pumpkin for Pero to handle––who should be on his way home from helping Balthasar with something at his inn.

Standing up with the final gourd in hand––you see something that fills you with immediate displeasure and sickens you to your core. Pero is walking up to your house pursued by Stanislava. You don’t quite know why you feel this angry at him; maybe it’s because you gave him explicit reminders on conduct or maybe––something else. Seeing the near, and well hearing Stanislava, you attempt to think fast to try to get her to leave. Greeting them both in an unnatural kind manner, “Pero, Stanislava, greetings.”

Pero gives you an immediate strange look while his shadow is oblivious and greets you back, “I was just telling Pero this wonderful stor––”

“Oh I must ask how is your rash healing up,” You feel like clapping your hands over your lips the moment the words fly out of your mouth. Stanislava stops in her tracks staring at you blankly, “what?”

“The one I gave you the ointment for––on your groin,” Oh my God what were you doing.

Stanislava turns bright red, “Good thank you––I––I have things to tend to at home, good evening you two.”

Stanislava hurries off, and an amused smile erupts on Pero’s face, “thank you for finally scaring that crow off––she’s been yapping my ear off with nonsense for weeks––I guess you're my scarecrow.”

“Excuse me?” scarecrow, you were going to kill this man. He smiles, a genuine smile, “Yes you scared off my crow––like a scarecrow would. Plus you're covered in leaves right now.”

“Do not call me that”

“Fine mi espantapájaros”

“I swear I’ll smother you in your sleep”

“Is that a true promise for you? Like how you promised not to tell customers private information yet just shouted about the crow’s crotch rash,” at that your body works on it’s own, taking the gourd in your hand and flinging it at Pero’s chest. It was a magnificent shot, and caused the vegetable to break and splatter it’s internal organs onto Pero’s chest and neck. Pero steps back from the impact and looks down on the goop he’s now covered in, “Now, no good espantapájaros does that.”

You press your palm to your face, “Just cut the pumpkin for me and bring it inside, you could use a good bath anyway, your stench is disgusting.”

“I do not smell,” he retorts, and you ignore him, bringing inside your harvest. You really do hate Pero Tovar.

----------------------

Apothecary’s feelings––hate or nah yall?

Garlic is use to treat a lot of ailments in Arab traditional medicine, including  heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, toothache, infections, and––as seen in this fic––constipation. Listen, I know the constipation part is true because I ate a pesto made with raw garlic and LORD did I shit. Anything else, not quite sure but hey worth a shot if you are desperate. 

It is also seen as an immune booster for colds and coughs––in fact if you are congested from a cold putting a clove of garlic in each nostril can clear that shit OUT.  

Garlic is also believed to help asthma symptoms. IDK if it actually is true but that’d be iconic because my mom loves garlic and she has asthma. 

Garlic is my favorite seasoning. I put it in my soup. I put it in my eggs. I put it in my ramen. I put it in my burgers. I put it in my cooch––

taglist:

@poenariuniverse @harleyamidala @yespolkadotkitty @storiesofthefandomlovers @babybelou @legally-a-bastard @computeringturtle @clydesducktape @sixties-loser @buckysalefty @april-14-blog @prettylittlegoldfish @softpedropascal @maybege

[arywizm]

These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever - When he was six or seven, Paul saw a sparrow kill itself against the kitchen window. It didn’t die right away. He remembered dropping his mitt and looking down at it in the grass. Spine twisted, tiny frantic heart pumping blood loose into its cerebellum, the short-circuit spasm of its wings. It wasn’t a bird anymore. || 5/5

it's so unsettling that the relationship at the center of this book is so obviously and unequivocally toxic but it's also so horrifyingly nuanced you can't help but feel an eerie sort of understanding.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo - Darlington liked to say that dealing with ghosts was like riding the subway: Do not make eye contact. Do not smile. Do not engage. Otherwise, you never know what might follow you home. || 3.5 /5

For some time at the beginning I thought Darlington was some grumpy, metaphysically inclined, sixty year old father figure for Alex. As it turns out I was wrong, I was also very much correct.

Prince of Thorns by Mark Lawrence - You can only win the game when you understand that it is a game. Let a man play chess, and tell him that every pawn is his friend. Let him think both bishops holy. Let him remember happy days in the shadows of his castles. Let him love his queen. Watch him lose them all. || 4/5

I'm genuinely dismayed about how much I want to read the next one, this was supposed to be a book to fill my time on a bus not something to get invested in and frankly, I feel betrayed.

just a heads up, if you're going into this blind, do some research on themes and triggers before reading (feel free to ask me too, I don't mind) because this one is really dark.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt - If we are strong enough in our souls we can rip away the veil and look that naked, terrible beauty right in the face; let God consume us, devour us, unstring our bones. Then spit us out reborn || 5/5

I decided that Francis is my favourite character on purely aesthetical basis, because I too, given the chance, would wear pince-nez

Plays:

Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare - If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumbered here, While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: If you pardon, we will mend: And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends.

rewatched the bridge theatre production (dir. Nicholas Hytner) and it's just as hysterically funny as it was the first time. also I love that closing passage so much I had to include it here

[spade-riddles]

Submission: Adjusting expectations

Okay, guys. Wading in here where it’s possible no-one wants me, but … here goes. 

We - Kaylors - are in a hard place right now. People feel hurt, they feel hopeless. They feel like they were led on by the likes of Spade. I’m not here to invalidate any of the feelings that come from seeing Karlie and Taylor play out this charade.  

But I think we (collectively, as a fandom) need to take a breath and ask if any of this is really as bad or unfixable as we think it is. Because, for me, the recent stunting is hard to stomach but not truly surprising. On some level this is how I expected Karlie and Taylor to handle both the birth of the baby and the launch of the rerecorded albums. As much I wanted to believe in the idea of spring breaking loose and bringing with it a fervent revolution … I could see the pieces still in play on the board and I doubted it was coming. 

I think the problem is that there was a split between the optimist and pragmatist sides of the fandom, over the last year or so. To be clear - I’m not judging the optimist side of the fandom. Not at all. Taylor has pulled wildcard moves before, and emotions run so high in all this, especially with a baby involved now, that I don’t blame people for wanting to believe the best. But it reached a stage where some of the things people were trying to talk themselves into were just wildly unrealistic. And when that happens, of course you’re going to get hurt. It’s inevitable. 

But let’s really look at this for a second. We should have known that neither Karlie nor Taylor was going to be shaving her beard in March. Ditching Jerk right after or just before the birth would have been too soon for Karlie. It’s not unusual for a celeb marriage to fizzle out within a year of the birth, but before the baby even arrives? That would be weird, and would draw attention just when it seems Kaylor don’t want it. They just had a baby. That’s an adjustment in itself, and Karlie is suffering enough social media hate on top of that. I wouldn’t blame her for just wanting to take a break and lie low during this difficult time. And unfortunately, for Karlie, that means maintaining the status quo of the situation she put herself in with Jerk. She may be doing the bare minimum to maintain it, but if she wants to avoid attention, she has to make it seem like everything between her and her “husband” is normal. And that she’s trying to make it work, which I believe will be important later. Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships. 

Toe wasn’t going anywhere either. Taylor had relied on him so heavily during the promotion of Folklore, with the William Bowery narrative, that she was almost backed into a corner. She had to give some allusion to his air quotes “creative input” and their so-called happy relationship, or her failure to do so would have become the story and overshadowed her night. The headlines would have either been break-up speculation or complaints that she didn’t give him his due. We think the cutesy coverage after she named him in her acceptance speech was bad, but negative headlines have a far longer shelf life and can take on a life of their own. They would have been worse. Whatever we might think of Taylor’s actions, Folklore is one of her best albums and she deserved to have her night. 

So, on to the announcement of the birth. This is a tricky one, and again, I completely understand why people reacted so badly against it. It was everything we as a fandom said we didn’t want. It was Jerk using the baby for personal good PR. But I have to be honest here. I always thought we were kidding ourselves believing he would NEVER be seen with the baby or implied to be the father. I do believe Karlie is doing her damnedest to minimize the digital footprint of his involvement and keep her actual baby out of it. But he was always going to get to bask in the glow of playing daddy for a while. It’s the trade off Kaylor made when they used him to shore up their closet. 

This is also why I increasingly suspect the timing of the announcement got the green light from Kaylor too. If Jerk was always going to be assumed to be the father of Karlie’s baby, then there was always going to have to be a birth announcement that incorporated him somehow - unless the girls were ready to answer awkward questions, and it doesn’t seem like we’re there yet. So the best way to minimize the damage is to have his moment of glory overshadowed by a bigger win for Taylor. It worked pretty well actually. Even on Kaylor blogs the stunt was mostly buried by Taylor content.

I know a lot of fans feel gaslit by all the hints, but I do think there’s a possibility Taylor really didn’t grasp how hurt Kaylors would be. From her perspective, she “fed” fans three times over that night. She gave us a beautiful performance, a gorgeous red carpet moment, and a win to celebrate. I think it’s possible she really didn’t realize the double whammy of stunting that night would make it all feel worthless for many.

Taylor is in an awkward position. As a consequence of Kaylor retreating into the closet, the support base for them has shrunk. (When I use the words “Kaylor fandom”, I refer to this support base.) I would say Kaylor fandom consists of two parts. There is a silent portion, who observe events and comment anonymously, but don’t say anything “on main”. And then there are the small corps of true believers, who think Karlie and Taylor are still together and the baby is theirs. This latter group do most of the actual talking about Kaylor, but they tend to be pretty battle-hardened. They’ve been around for years, they never believe any of the stunts and their capacity to be hurt by them is, as a result, pretty limited. These Kaylors criticize sometimes, but they tend to fall back in line eventually and mostly adopt a “let’s wait and see how this all shakes out” approach. The problem is that I would say these “chilled” Kaylors are the minority. For their own sanity they curate their blog experience and often don’t post the more negative anons they get. Which is fine, but if you were looking at it from the outside, I could see how it might create an impression that the fandom as a whole can roll with the punches. And for a lot of the silent majority, that’s not the case. 

But again, I can see how Taylor might not necessarily know that. She went quiet after the Grammys, when I might have expected more celebratory posts from her. If I had to guess, I’d say she didn’t expect the backlash. I’m especially noticing a backlash against her for allowing Karlie to take so many hits while her own reputation has never been better. And I can’t defend her on that one, except to say I hope she has a plan. But I understand where people are coming from when they say the songs aren’t enough and actions speak louder than words. It’s tough to watch. 

Still, we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming. We should have known Jerk wasn’t going to be out of the picture immediately after the birth. This is one of those things nobody likes, but maybe we all just have to be patient on. I don’t see Karlie busting out of the closet to admit her marriage was a fake, or testifying to the FBI. I think she’ll just let her marriage quietly fall apart, as many real marriages did during the pandemic. And for that to work, she needs to make it look like didn’t throw away a family unit lightly. Hence the “I tried” post, the social media break, and the suggestions of spending time with Jerk’s family. All of this can be spun later into a narrative of Karlie having tried to make it work, only to never really be accepted. The hate online affected her mental health and she gradually realized how unhappy she’d become and decided she needed to break free and find her old self again for her baby’s sake. This is the most likely narrative for Karlie’s freedom and it’s one that could work - but it’s going to take time to unfold. Personally, I’m giving it a year. If we don’t see a separation by then, and definitive moves to a reunited Kaylor, I’ll be bowing out. I’ll still know what I believe the truth to be, but I won’t see the need to devote my energy to defending it. ,

Meanwhile, the masters rerecords are about to be released, and Taylor has invested a lot in their success. Because of this, I can’t envision her coming out until at least the big three (Fearless, 1989, and Red) have dropped. She might drop hints, but I don’t expect anything earth-shattering. Even the order of the album releases seems to confirm this. She’s breaking out the big guns first. 

I’ve seen people speculate that because Rep can’t be rerecorded until 2022, Taylor will hold off on any coming out until then. And I’m not so sure of that. Yes, people listening to the album for clues would give Scott and Scooter money, but if we’re being honest, a fair amount of people are probably listening to those albums already, regardless of the drama. Those sleazeballs are profiting from Rep, full stop. But if Taylor profits more, from her bigger albums, she still wins. And she can still put out a Taylor’s version of Rep with vault tracks and collabs, to seduce people away from the Big Machine version in early 2022. Honestly, I think there’s a good chance Taylor would consider this is a worthwhile trade-off anyway, if it meant she got to live a more open life with Karlie - and most crucially, begin to repair Karlie’s reputation. As children get older and the world begins to leave the pandemic behind, it becomes harder to live behind closed doors. I guess we’ll find out how Taylor finds the reality of such a life, and what she considers worth sacrificing to step away from it. 

All this to say: I can’t predict the future more than anyone else, but I don’t think the situation we’re in now is irreparable, and if we’re being really objective, I don’t think it’s even surprising. I do think Taylor should give us something, if she wants to keep us around. No-one can live on a complete absence of hope, and as I’ve stated, letting the fandom dwindle to this extent has its own dangers. But I think we also need to keep our time frames realistic, even if it means rejecting lifelines like the Spade riddles. We shouldn’t expect Karlie to be free of Jerk for around a year, and we shouldn’t expect Taylor to do anything much beyond general music promo until at least the big three have dropped. Sucks to say it, I know. But at least this way we won’t be disappointed, and if Kaylor do pull a wild card and move towards freedom, we can be pleasantly surprised. 

Just my two cents. 

___________________

Well written and fair arguments on our reactions and expectations. I had typed up more, but I will let others post their comments before I chime in.