#nice try you only just helped traumatize my partner

[hyunniesgirl]

Tease

Pairing: Changbin x fem!reader

Summary: tired of months of teasing, Changbin just wants to have you and he's going to do anything to make you his.

Or, the one where you were kink shamed and can't trust sexual partners anymore, until Changbin shows up and sweeps you off your feet.

Words count: 4,281

Warnings: dom!Changbin, sub!reader, throat fucking, slaps(?), degradation, oral(f & m receiving), spit, use of pet names(bunny, baby), reader is called names(whore), unprotected sex(use protection irl), let me know if I forgot something

A/N: as usual let me say that I can't write smut to save my life, but I got this idea a few weeks ago and left it in my drafts, then I received this ask and I thought it fits so yeah that's it

This content is 18+, minors do NOT interact

The first time you had sex, was weird. You thought that maybe it was always like that, maybe you really wouldn't feel much pleasure on your first time.

Then, your second and third time came and you noticed you didn't feel the same way your friends told you they felt during sex. Even though you were attracted and even loved the people you slept with, you just didn't come, you didn't enjoy having sex.

That was, until a guy you dated slapped you, while trying to change positions. Although it was unintentional, that was the first time you ever moaned for real while having sex with another person. You two stopped for a moment, him trying to process what just happened and you coming to a realization: maybe, you were just going about sex the wrong way, maybe you didn't explore your options enough.

You began researching, reading about kinks and whatnot. You asked your boyfriend for help, you wanted to try new things and after that, sex was finally good. You finally understood what your friends were talking about when they told you about their sex lives.

However, that didn't last for long. Your boyfriend was not as nice of a guy as you thought. You found out he actually shared every bit of your kinks with his friends, calling you weird and saying he just went along with it because you were attractive enough.

He left his phone unlocked while going to the bathroom and you saw a text of his friends, making fun of you and the things you like.

It's an understatement to say you were left traumatized after that relationship. You know there's absolutely nothing wrong with what you like in bed, but to trust someone again was too hard.

You were so afraid of going through the same thing again so you just stopped dating altogether.

With that being said, you didn't stop teasing. That is the only thing you can have while still not sleeping with men, so you enjoy making them suffer. Leave them hard and hanging, that's your thrill.

They would all give up in a bit, a few weeks of teasing, without actually sleeping with them was enough for them to be done with you.

Until you met him.

You knew you wanted Changbin since the first time you laid eyes on him. He's just so attractive you think you could cum just by looking at him flexing his muscles. He's big, so big he could probably break you in half if you let him.

You don't know what is it about him. You felt attracted to other guys like him before, gym bros are not usually your type but some catch your eye once in a while. However, Changbin has something more, he's not just hot. He's funny, a great dancer and he's just so sure about his masculinity that he doesn't see it necessary to keep reiterating it all the time like other guys do.

You still decided not to sleep with him, you are part of the same friend group, so he knows everyone you do. You really don't think he's the type to brag about his feats in bed but if he ever ended up being like your ex boyfriend, you would never be able to look at your friends again.

You are not ashamed of your preferences, but at the same time it's just something so intimate you wish only you and your partner would know about it.

You thought he would give up like the others, maybe in a month he would get over it and stop trying to win you over. But you were wrong, it's been months already and you're stuck in this cat and mouse situation with no sign of him letting go.

It all started when you met the boys for the first time. Your best friend, Ryunjin, talked all the time about these guys she met at a party, how they became super close and that you'd love them.

It was Ryunjin’s birthday, so you met them at a restaurant. Your eyes scanned through all of the boys when you arrived, they were all too good looking, is it even possible for a whole friend group of seven people to all be so damn attractive?

“Wait, seven? Didn't Ryunjin say they were eight?”

You felt a hand slightly touching your back, turning around to find kind eyes staring right back at you.

“Are you going to sit, miss?” He asked.

“Y-yes”, you stuttered, trying to compose yourself.

“Why were you so late?” Ryunjin asked, you're not sure if she's speaking to you or the guy.

“Traffic was insane”, you two answered together, snapping your heads to look at each other, smiling playfully.

“I'm Changbin, by the way”, he said, pointing at the empty seat and pulling the chair for you to sit.

“I'm y/n”, you answered shyly, seeing him sitting by your side even though there were plenty of seats available closer to his friends.

As you drank a bit through the night, you caught his lingering eyes on you too many times and you're sure he caught you eyeing him up too. He made jokes, throwing his arms to the back of your chair and coming closer to you.

The amount of times you just wanted to tell him to take you home was actually crazy, no man ever made you feel that way. The warmth you felt when he got close to you was something hard to explain, you felt all your insides turning around and your pussy was throbbing just by feeling his breath hitting on your skin when he turned in your direction to speak to you.

You were able to escape that night, forcing yourself to say goodbye and walk away with all the willpower you had in you.

Things didn't stop there, though. It became usual for you to hangout with the guys. They are always so nice and cheerful, it's great being around them.

Changbin is always close to you, making jokes so he can see your beautiful smile, taking the opportunity to touch you at every chance he gets. Sometimes he'll put his hand on your lower back while walking with you, other times he'll touch your arms while talking. If you are eating together, he'll nonchalantly lick his finger and press it to the corner of your mouth to clean the mess you made on your face, like that's not the hottest shit a man can do.

He's just always there, the first one to hug you when you arrive, the one who walks you to your car or uber when the night is over. His clothes are the ones you sleep in when they invite you to a sleepover and to say you don't have wet dreams all the time, while sleeping embraced by his scent, it would be a lie.

"Why don't you just fuck him?" Ryunjin asks, while you eye fuck Changbin from the other side of the room. You're in a corner of his living room, there's music playing in the background while everyone is waiting for the food you all ordered. He's looking so good with a black tight t-shirt that outlines all his muscles and baggy sweats that do little to hide his nice ass. You're probably drooling at this point.

“You know why”, you tell her, Ryunjin knows all about your bad experiences.

“You've known him for months now, it's obvious he's not like that prick of your ex”, she says and you nod, you do know it.

“It's just hard”, you sigh. Trusting someone again over something so delicate to you is difficult.

“Yeah, I get it”, she smiles sympathetically to you. “But you know he'll reach his limit at some point, right?”

“I don't know what you're talking about”, you say, looking at her with doe eyes and an angelic smile.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about”, Ryunjin rolls her eyes, “you've been playing this teasing game for a while and he'll get sick of it at some point”

It's true that you've been enjoying yourself since you noticed his interest in you and you did what you do best, tease.

You touch him all the time, while his touches are subtle and shy, you're much more obvious about it. You play with his hair when you're sitting close to each other, a leg over his. He's so respectful, his hands never go above your knees. You shamelessly touch his biceps, squeezing them while biting on your lips, oh how you wish this man would put you in a headlock with said biceps.

Every time you touch him, he gets horny, it's a spontaneous reaction that only you could cause. It never happened to him before, he dreams about the dirty things he could do to you. You're so fragile, so beautiful, he wants to ruin you, break you so no one would ever want you, then you'd be his forever.

While you're indeed afraid he'll get sick of your antics, Changbin is sure he'll never give up. He wanted you since the first moment your eyes locked with his and he'll make you his, no matter how long it takes.

"Wait", you say too loudly as soon as WAP starts playing, "THAT'S MY JAM", you grab Ryunjin's hand, making her stand up to dance with you.

You sing along, watching some of the boys coming up to you two, dancing around and laughing at your excitement.

Turning around, you look at the kitchen, seeing Changbin leaning against the counter, watching you. He would usually join the dance, but not tonight, his eyes are fixated on you, making you feel like you two are the only people in the room.

He has only a beer in his hand, a smirk on his lips and dirty thoughts in his mind. He decides that tonight you're going to pay for all the times you left him hard just for the fun of it.

You have no idea what's in store for you, so you keep teasing him, sliding your hands down your body, rolling your hips, staring shamelessly at Changbin.

You look around for a bit, making sure no one’s looking at your little scene. It's crazy how this song just makes you feel — horny and needy for someone that will really put you in your place. You sigh, looking back at Changbin, he's still watching you, a frown on his face now. He's muttering something you obviously can't hear because of the distance but his eyes are dark like you have never seen before.

The music ends leaving you satisfied with the results. Changbin is still staring at you, or better, eyefucking you.

The food you ordered doesn't take too long to arrive, so you sit happily at the table with everyone, talking like you didn't just make him get as hard as a rock just from your dancing. He feels like he's losing his mind, you're too much for him already and he didn't even fuck you yet.

You go to the bathroom before going home, you're kinda sleepy already so you want to wash your face so you won't fall asleep in the uber.

After throwing some water on your face, you stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment. You're such a coward, you wish you had the courage to make a move on Changbin for real.

Sighing, you get yourself together, opening the door ready to go home and forget this whole night. You didn't expect to bump into the man you so much desire right outside, leaning on the wall with his muscular arms crossed in front of his chest.

You flinch at the look he gives you, the smile that grows on his lips is everything but friendly, so on instinct you take a step back.

“H-hey”, you say, trying to recompose yourself. “Do you want to use the bathroom?” You step outside, awkwardly, leaving room for him to go inside.

“I sent everyone home”, he takes a deep breath, walking towards you. “Now it's just you and me, I think it's time for us to talk”

“Aren't we already doing that?” You laugh, sheepishly, stepping back again only to bump in the wall.

Changbin tsks, putting his hands on your waist and pressing his body against yours.

“It's time for you to stop playing games, bunny”, he tells you, he's too close, his nose is almost touching yours. “You fucked around enough already”

You feel the air get stuck in your throat, what are you going to do now? Your mind can't think of a way to get out of this situation and you feel like if you reject him now, it's over. You don't want it to be over, you want him so badly it's crazy.

Changbin sees the opening he needs, you're considering his proposition.

“Let me make you feel good, hm? I've been wanting you for so long, let me have you”, he continues, trying to persuade you. “I promise you won't regret it”

You can feel his hard cock pressing against your stomach, you want to let him do anything to you. The problem is the consequences later, but you decide to let the y/n of the future to handle that, you just want him to fuck you senseless right now.

You take a deep breath, nodding and in a split of a second his lips are on yours, hungrily attacking your poor mouth. He's being too harsh, you know he doesn't mean to hurt you and the way you can feel how much he wants this makes you more turned on.

He slides his hands from your waist to your hips, pulling you away from the wall so he can grab your ass. He squeezes it, groaning, it's so good to finally have you. Oh, the things he wants to do to you.

Changbin taps twice on your thighs, holding you tightly so you can wrap your legs around his hips. He carries you all the way to his room without disconnecting his mouth from yours, you're not sure how you didn't have to stop yet so you could breathe.

As soon as he gets closer to his bed, he bites your lower lip. He throws you on the bed, taking his shirt off. His body is so much better than you imagined, his chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist.

He climbs on the bed, leaning over you and brushing his nose on yours, softly caressing your cheek, taking your hair out of your face.

"Why did you take so long to let me have you, hm?" He leans more, kissing your collarbone and biting your shoulder, making you flinch.

"I was scared", you whisper, closing your eyes to the sensation of his lips on your skin.

"Did you think I would hurt you?" He asks, worriedly, hands coming instantly to cup your face.

"No, I know you wouldn't", you sigh, "I just had some really bad experiences with other people and was scared”

He's relieved he was not the one you were afraid of, but at the same time he's angry, he wants to know who's the asshole who made you feel bad about yourself.

"I won't do anything you don't want to, bunny", he gives a peck on your lips, "let's go slowly, hm? I'll do a bit of everything and you can tell me if I should go further or slow down, alright?"

You nod, feeling one of his hands sliding slowly from your face to your scalp, grabbing a handful of your hair and pulling it slightly.

"Should I keep going?" He asks in a whisper, already knowing your answer by the way your lips parted and your cheeks reddened.

"Yes, please", you plead, looking him in the eyes and seeing a smirk grow on his lips.

“Tell me, bunny, do you want me to be rough? Or do you want me to be soft?”

You stare at him for a bit, he's looking at you so intently, waiting for your answer. You never thought someone would ask you this question, ask how they could make you feel good.

“Rough”, you blush, avoiding his gaze. He grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks harshly.

"That's good”, he gives a peck on your pouting lips, “because you deserve a punishment for all the times I had to jerk off by myself thinking of you", he points out, pulling your hair harder and making you moan, leaving your neck exposed. He takes the opportunity, leaning closer and licking the bare skin, sucking and biting it hard. After making sure he marked you, Changbin sits.

"Undress", he tells you while he watches you, sitting comfortably on the bed. When you don't move, he scoffs. "Or should I rip your clothes apart? I don't mind", he smirks and you look down to your expensive new dress, you actually would like him to rip your clothes, but not this one.

So you shake your head, taking off your dress. You try covering yourself a bit, feeling too exposed. You're wearing only your panties since you didn't need a bra for that dress.

"You look so beautiful bare and ready for me", he says, grabbing your hand and pulling you closer to the edge of the bed.

"Sit here, bunny", he says, tapping the place by his side. "Tell me, how do you think I should punish you?"

"I- I don't know"

He frowns, smiling slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Whatever you want", you say, feeling the warmth grow in your cheeks. "You can do anything you want."

Changbin sucks in the air between his teeth, a big smile on his face.

"I like the sound of that", he chuckles, lifting his hand to your face and squeezing it, "now before we can finally start, tell me if there's anything you don't want tonight"

You take a deep breath, looking deep into his eyes.

"There's nothing, I'll tell you if I feel uncomfortable", you say confidently.

"Hm, I like it. You're so good for me, baby", he stands up, taking off his sweats and underwear, sitting back with his legs open. He's so hard and pretty, you even salivate looking at his cock.

"Get on your knees", he commands and you do just that, feeling the hardwood scratching your skin. "Come here and open your mouth for me okay? I want you to show me how sorry you are for making me wait for so long"

You nod, lifting your shaky hands to grab the base of his cock, you're not sure how much you'll be able to fit in your mouth but the simple thought of sucking him makes your excitement drip from your cunt. Changbin puts his hands on the bed, looking at you with a condescending smile, just waiting.

You lean closer, wrapping his cock with your mouth, making him groan. You lick his shaft all the way up to his leaking head, twirling with your tongue at the top.

“Fuck”, he says, bringing one of his hands to your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair and forcing you down. You feel the tears brimming in your eyes, your throat is burning with the assault. “Look at you, looking so pretty gagging on my cock”

You moan, feeling your core aching, your hand slides involuntarily to your clit trying to have some release. His cock hits the back of your throat once again, making the tears run through your cheeks, you try to catch your breath but he keeps fucking your mouth violently.

“Oh my”, he smiles, “are you touching yourself? Did I say you could do that?” He asks condescendingly, “I guess whores can't help themselves”

He releases your hair, finally letting you breathe.

“So you like the pain, right? I have so many things in store for you”, he gets closer.

You're too intoxicated, eyes glossy from the tears and lips swollen. Your mascara is smudged all over your face.

“Are you okay?” He asks, taking your face into his hands once more, making you look at him, “do you want to keep going?”

You nod, frantically. “Yes, please”

He smiles satisfied, pushing you on the bed. Changbin kisses your feet, trailing softly over your legs, all the way up to your thighs. He leans over, biting the inside of your thigh, earning a whimper from you. Leaning over your pussy, he doesn't waste time, eagerly sucking on your clit and licking long stripes between your folds. Your hands automatically go to his head, pulling him closer to your core.

He inserts a finger inside you, looking up to see your beautiful face contorted in pleasure while he works with his fingers and tongue. You had forgotten how it felt to have a good fuck, how delicious the pain is. You're clenching around his fingers, so Changbin knows you're almost cumming, that's when he stops.

“What the hell?” You whine, trying to touch your clit with your hand so you can finish it yourself but he doesn't let you, grabbing your face harshly, squeezing your cheeks.

“You should take what I give you”, he says, “Open your mouth”, he commands, spitting inside, “now, swallow”

You feel all your insides turn around, you could cum just by the hold he has on you. Your pussy is throbbing so much it hurts, but it's so good.

“Binnie, please”, you whine, ready to beg for him to fuck you.

“Hm? Tell me what you want, bunny”

“Please fuck me, please, please”, you beg.

“If you ask this nicely I can't deny”, he smirks, climbing on top of you. He's huge, strong arms on each of your sides, trying not to put too much weight over you. He pulls you by your ankles, positioning himself in the middle of your legs.

You try grabbing his cock so you can put it in already, you're too desperate but he swings a slap on your ass, making you whimper to the pain, you were not expecting that.

“I told you to take what I give you, bunny”

He slides his cock up and down on your wet folds, feeling like he could die at any moment by feeling your warmth embracing his cock.

“Put it in, Binnie”, you plead again, desperate to feel him inside you.

“Fuck, babe, you're so fucking pretty”, he tells you while teasing, “but do you deserve it? You made a fool out of me all this months”

You feel your eyes brim with tears again, feeling the little bit of stimulation he's giving you by slightly touching the head of his cock to your clit.

“I'm sorry, I'm really sorry”, you sob, “it wasn't just you. I went back home every time and fucked myself thinking about you”

“Shit”, he groans, sliding his cock inside you with no warning, you scream to the sudden intrusion in your sensitive cunt but it gets stuck in your throat while you sob. “Tell me everything you want me to do, yeah?”

He's thrusting violently into you, gripping your hips into place so he can have you exactly where he wants you to be.

“I want you to fucking break me”, you tell him, “choke me, bite me, do anything, I'm yours”

Changbin slams into you even harder listening to those words, he slides his hand up, wrapping it around your throat. He tightens the grip, cutting the air off.

“My beautiful princess wants me to fuck her senseless?” You feel your orgasm closer, the sensations you're feeling all over your body makes it feel like you're in a haze, completely lost in pleasure. The knot in your stomach grows so big, it feels like it explodes, making you shake and arch your back, feeling overwhelmed by all the pleasure.

Changbin keeps going hard, feeling you clench around him just makes him get closer to his own climax. He takes his hand out of your throat, holding your hips for support.

“Do it inside”, you whisper out of breath, feeling his cock twitching inside you. He cums a few moments later, feeling your pussy sucking all of him.

He collapses on top of you, supporting himself in his arms, not wanting to weigh on you but still wanting to stay inside of you. You help him by wrapping your arms around his waist and flipping you two, now you are the one on top of him and his cock is still buried inside you.

You lay on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, not sure what to say now. You're afraid he'll judge you, even though it looked like he enjoyed the same as you, your ex boyfriend seemed to like it too. What if this was just a one time thing for him? You're not sure if you'll be able to be with other people after this night.

As if he can hear your intrusive thoughts, Changbin wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

“Should I call you my girlfriend now or should we go on a date first?”

You snap your head over at him, wide eyes and a big smile on your lips.

“I think you'll have to do much more to be able to call me your girlfriend”, you smile playfully.

“Oh? My bunny is so greedy”, he gives a peck on your lips, “I can get used to that”

-------

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

[moni-logues]

Hi there, pretty Moni!

If it isn’t too much to ask, may I please request a professor Yoongi x female college student reader piece?

For the genre, hmmm. Surprise us, maybe? 🤭🥹

Thank you very much, eonni. ☺️

okkkkkkkkkkk

SO, I am not super comfortable with a professor/student dynamic so I have done a peer tutor type situation; hope that is ok! I really don't know if this is anything, tbh, but I'm really just trying to leave the tap on to get the rust out!! So thank you for this request; I hope it at least in some way satisfies!

Pairing: Yoongi x reader (gender neutral)

Genre: acquaintances-to-?? dating? maybe?? tbc lol; college/uni AU

Summary: Your university forces you to be tutored to bring up your grades; your tutor is the quiet loner from class whom you begin to realise you should have noticed long before now.

Word count: 1.2k

Content: none to warn for, unless you have traumatic memories of philosophy essays lmao

Kant or Won't?

You pushed through the heavy library door with a sigh. It was a beautiful day – one of the first of the year. The blossom was budding on the trees; the grass was dry enough to sit on; the sun was bright and warm overhead. You were heading into the dim, crowded world of studying on a Saturday.  

You only had yourself to blame. You knew that. One too many parties and too few essays written. You knew you had to try harder. What you didn’t know was why your school was mandating tutoring. It wasn’t that you didn’t know things! You didn’t struggle with the material; it was the sitting down and focusing on it that was the problem. How a tutor was supposed to help with that, you didn’t know. You did, however, want to stay at university so you accepted your fate.  

The peer tutor service had told you which private study room was booked for your session, but when you peered in through the door window, you assumed there must have been some sort of mistake.  

“Uh, it’s Yoongi, right?” you asked, tentatively as you entered the room.  

He looked up and nodded. 

You knew Yoongi. Well, you knew of him. He was in your philosophy group. He contributed only when forced to and you had never seen him chatting to anyone either before or after seminars. You assumed he was just some kind of loner loser guy and that was really the first and last you ever thought of him. You didn’t notice him and no one else seemed to either.  

It surprised you that he would volunteer to do this: meet with lazy, unfocused students to bring their grades up. It wasn’t exactly socialising, but it was social. It would involve talking to people. Strangers. Maybe even people he actively disliked. 

You sat around the corner of the table from him and pulled out your notebook, full of half-finished sentences and scribbled notes from lectures. The edges were black with doodles and your first clean page was the one right next to where you had snapped and written ‘FUUUUUUUUCK’ in huge capital letters. You tucked that page to the back and readied your pen. 

“Just so you know,” you started as Yoongi opened his textbook, “I’m not actually like, dumb. I’m fine with the material; I just hate doing the essays, y’know? I’m just too lazy to get around to it, so then, when it’s the night before deadline, I just have to write any old shit to get it done. You know how it is, right? Procrastination nation.” 

Yoongi looked at you, thoughtfully, and it was the first time you’d ever really seen his face. It was nice. He was kind of good-looking actually. You wondered what sort of life he had off-campus. Maybe he just didn’t like the people at school. Maybe he had other friends. A partner? Not that you cared, but you thought, now that you were really looking at him, maybe he could have one. Not bad at all. 

“Lazy?” he asked. 

You nodded, expecting him to say something more. He didn’t.  

“Ok, well...” You spoke for him. “I guess we’re supposed to get my essay on Kant done?” 

You flicked through your notes to see if you’d taken any while Yoongi still just looked at you.  

“What are you views on Kant?” you asked.  

“What are your views on Kant?” he countered.  

You wondered if it was a test. You’d told him you knew the material; it was only reasonable for him to ask for proof.  

The directness of his gaze made you feel a little flustered; the focus of his attention unwavering in a way you found unsettling.  

“Um, well, ok...” 

* * * 

“Guess what I’ve just done,” you demanded as you walked into the private study room two weeks later. 

“What?” 

“I’ve just submitted my Kant thing!” 

Yoongi didn’t look surprised, but he did look pleased. You felt a genuine sense of pride, swiftly followed by an embarrassed guilt that you should feel so proud of something that thousands of other people did with ease every day.  

“Wow,” he said. “And the deadline isn’t for three whole days.” 

“I know!” 

“How do you feel?”  

You didn’t want to tell him how pleased with yourself you were. You knew he had submitted his last week. You didn’t want to let him know that you were pathetic enough to feel a genuine sense of achievement over what you’d done. It was minor. Embarrassingly minor.  

“Good, I guess. Nice to have it out of the way.” 

Yoongi nodded.  

“That’s really great.” 

He smiled at you and you smiled back. If you got a good grade for this essay, you wouldn’t have to come back for tutoring. That alone had almost made you not complete the essay. Yoongi’s presence was soothing and something about being here in this room with him made it easier to focus. You liked studying with him. He mostly kept to himself and let you ask questions when you needed to. It didn’t really feel like tutoring at all, to be honest. He was a study buddy, not a teacher.  

You were surprised how much you enjoyed it, actually, when it really got down to it. Without the screaming panic of a deadline just hours away, you had more time to focus on the content, think about the topic, read about it, dig in. You remembered why you had chosen philosophy in the first place. And, when prompted, Yoongi would talk to you about it, too; your views were often the same, but not always. He was smarter than you, but not by much. 

You met frequently, first in short bursts, then in longer and longer sessions that you often found yourself wishing would last longer. Yoongi was good at sticking to the topic, pulling you back around when your conversation veered into general chat or something irrelevant, which you did more and more each time, because he was nice to talk to, he was interesting; you wanted to know what he thought and what he had to say.  

You also still didn’t know if he had a partner. 

*  

“Aha!”  

You cornered Yoongi in the classroom before he could escape, thrusting your essay into his face. He took it from you and eyed the grade in the corner with a smirk. 

“Well done, you.”  

“Nailed it, mate!” 

“You did.” 

“This means you don’t have to tutor me anymore.” 

He laughed softly. 

“It’s not like I really ever did anything. You said so yourself: you know the material. You never really needed me.” 

Something about that made you feel sad. You had needed him. You would not have been able to do it without him, if all your past experiences were to be relied upon.  

“Well, actually...”  

You had been working up to this. It was the perfect opportunity so you had just been waiting, waiting for your grade, waiting for this open target. 

“I was kind of hoping you might have some time to talk over the next one with me... Not formally, as a tutor, but just... y’know... Like, as a classmate. Or friend.” 

Yoongi blinked rapidly, his mouth slightly open.  

“Uh, yeah. Yeah ok.” 

“Cool. I’ll, um, text you or something and we can set up a time?” 

He nodded. There was a tiny stretch of tension between you, held for just a moment, before he stood from his seat and you straightened up, readying to walk away.  

“I’ll see you... soon, I guess.” 

“Yeah, soon.” 

[dungeonmeshi-confessions]

I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

.

[romanarose]

Talk to Me

Santiago Garcia x afab!reader

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Summary: You open up to Santi about being sexually assaulted.

Warnings: Description of sexual assault. Just all the warnings there. Santi responds how I'd like a partner to respond in this setting (Ideally I'd like them to kill my rapists but unfortunetly this is the real world :(). Just be aware this could potentially be very triggering but I was trying to find a fic like this and couln't so I just made it.

Immersivity: Reader is so longer in teens (meaning not 18 or 19) I think thats it. gender neuatral but reader is AFAB

A/N as is the natue for many of these kinds of stories, I am describing my real life experience. Everyone is different, and no matter what, how you responded (fight flight freeze or fawn) or how you got into that position or how old you were, weather it involved physical violence or coercion or alcohol it's all traumatizing its all awful and you deserve to be heard and believed and comforted, and to have some form of justice whatever that may look like for you.

"It was stupid, honestly." You mutter, sitting up against the headboard of Santi's bed.

Santiago Garcia was the first guy you dated that had anything more than a box spring on the floor and who washed his legs, so things had been looking up. You were staying over at Santi's place, enjoying a nice saturday in, and dozed off only to be woken up by Santiago trying to be playful. He had grabbed your ankle, tugging at you saying 'wakey wakey eggs and bakey! Well, there's not eggs. Or bacon honestly. But I can doordash some- are you okay?'

You had begun to have a panic attack, something that Santi wasn't knew to handling with you. Over the months you were dating, he came to know your anxiety and depressive episodes, learning how to help deal with them. He wasn't knew to mental health: Will had PTSD bad enough he used to black out. Ben suffered from nightmares and panic attacks. Frankie buried his depression in addiction.

Today was different. Other times the panic attacks came from general anxiety things. Life surrounding Santi... today, it was clear he triggered it. He felt awful, an absolute wreck, making you cry when all he ever wanted to do was make you smile. So, he helped calm you down, and when you were ready, he broached the subject. He had suspected for a while now that someone had hurt you, but seeing as the relationship was fairly new still he didn't think it was his place to ask.

Now, the two of you sit together on his bed, parallel. You couldn't look in his eyes.

"It's not stupid. I promise."

You huff, crossing your arms and sinking into the bed just a little. "The whole ankle thing wasn't even that actual night, but a few weeks before. It was college. I had this group of friends I worked with and partied with a lot. Usually at this one couples place where a fuck ton of people lived. It was my friends place so we got drunk and I crashed on the couch when everyone went to bed. I was passed out but not like... not unconcious. In and out of sleep I guess. This guy who lived there with his pregnant girlfriend, Kody, he sat on the other end of the couch and just... started touching my ankles and legs. Massaging kinda. He occasionally said things to me that I dunno... made me feel good I guess. Maybe he was calling me hot but I don't remember. I just remember I'd pull my leg away sometimes and he'd keep touching or would wait until I stretched out again. I never really liked my legs touched. Tickleish I guess. But he wouldn't quit. I had the distinct feeling if I fell asleep he'd um... touch more."

You can hear Santi take a deep breath. "But he didn't that night?"

You shake your head. "My friends boyfriend came out and grabbed him. Said something like 'what the fuck is wrong with you' or something. Then put him in his room where his girlfriend was."

"He knew he was trying something."

"Yeah, I guess."

"And they still stayed friends?"

You can't help chuckle darkly at the nievty. "bro's before hoes."

But Santi isn't having it.

"What- that not-"

"Would you really stop being friends with one of the guys if you knew they-"

"They wouldn't. They aren't like that."

"I know. But if they did."

"Gone. No questions asked." The resolution in his voice made you smile.

"Anyway." You sigh. "Doesn't matter because a few weeks later I partied with them again and it happened so. I did that to myself." The tears and shame well up in your eyes, and Santiago grabs your hand.

"It's not your fault, amor. It's his, only his. Your were a teenager."

"Old enough to know better."

"Stop it."

"Old enough to know I shouldn't have gotten turned on."

Santi remained quiet at that, letting you continue.

You rest your head on his shoulder. "I was horny. Like, mad horny back then. He kept feeding me drinks and for hours he would touch me whenever people weren't looking. I was so fucking drunk, Santi. Like, the kind where you just puke int he bathroom then go back to partying. After a while I didn't just go along with it I kinda... I touched him too." With that, you begin to cry and Santiago pulls you into his arms as you finish. "We went to my dorm and he... he followed me but I let him in and I didn't fight back, and and, and, it felt good and I hated that it felt good and I hated that he knew how to touch me and I hated that he was complimenting me the whole time and I just wanted it to stop! I wanted to start screaming, I wanted to but thought about how I touched him back and my friend saw us kiss and... I just knew there was no way to prove anything. I knew it would just be embarrassing. He was a shift lead at work and I was new and I just knew there was no way anyone would believe me..."

"Baby..." Santiago's heart was broken, holding you closely to him and wishing he had been there, wishing he could have protected you.

"Eventually I started passing out. Most of my memories of that night were blacked out anyway... I couldn't even get into the car by myself. I just kinda... gave up, I guess. I let sleep take take me and let him do whatever. Sometimes I woke up and just went back to sleep. I couldn't even lift my head anymore."

Santiago rubbed your back soothingly. It felt nice to have him there. You ran those two nights through your head again and again, all alone, it was such a comfort to be held by someone you trusted while you think throught it.

"What happened in the morning, baby love? Was he gone?"

You're griping his shirt tight. "No. He fell alseep in bed with me, in the shitty twin mattress I had lofted. I just... i remember his sticky skin. I think about that a lot. I was delirious still but needed to get away so I stumbled my way to the couch and slept for I don't know how long. Then my alarm went off and I needed to go to math class because I wasn't doing good. I had to.... I had to go back to my room and wake him up. I didn't wanna touch him but he needed to leave. I just remember thinking 'I have class, I can't miss class' which like... should be the least of my worries. Anyway he um... He got up eventually and walked home. I tried not to interact with him after that. I dropped out at the end of the semester." You rub your face on Santi's sleep shirt, aware you're getting snot on it.

"He um... it was.... inside... I was just in shock for the next week, you know? I didn't get any plan B and then it was too late... So I just prayed and prayed I wasn't pregnant. I don't know what I would have done, honestly, but their weren't any abortion clinics nearby so. Who knows. All I know is every time some old politician man wants to make a rule banning abortions, they'll never be 19 sobbing between classes in the bathroom begging for their period to come."

He let you cry for a while, let out all your sobs and heaves and snot while he rubbed your back, whispering sweet nothing into your ear. When it was done, when you'd cried it all out finally, Santiago pulls you onto his lap, straddling him. He cups your face in his hands, looking you directly in the eye so you could feel the honest in them. A single dark curl fell over his forehead.

"I love you. I believe you. I don't blame you." He tilts your head down to press a chaste kiss on your nose. "I don't blame you for how you felt when he manipulated your body. I don't blame you forgoing back and partying with him after he touched your legs. I don't blame you for not getting plan B or wanting to get to math class or touching him. If you were so drunk you could barely walk, if you were blacking out, there's not way he could have consented. You were innocent."

You hug him.

A tight, child-like hug, clinging to him like your lifeboat in a storm, the anchor that keeps you grounded.

This is what you needed to hear. You needed to know that even if you weren't this idea of the perfect victim, you were still a victim. You were taken advantage of raped by a man who saw you as simply something to use, and it wasn't your fault.

Thank you so much for reading.

The year after this hapened to me was really bad, almost loft my life a few times. Words cannot describe how badly this broke me as a person, and my friends were extremely worried about me.

Againn, this was extremely self indulgent. I needed to hear these words from my beloved Santi, my sweet man <3

I love you all, and it wasn't your fault.

you can keep up by joining my tag list, joining my tumblr community, or following @romana-updates

[razorblade180]

And as a bonus because I felt it wouldn't fit with my last ask: It is mean to say Blake's character development when it comes to being in a relationship might have gone backward? I mean, you would think after Adam she would want to be more upfront with wanting to stand on equal terms with Yang. But Blake mostly went along with what ever Yang wanted in Vol 7-8. It makes her advice to Nora feel hallow and that she's back to where she was before she met the others. The only difference is that Yang is a way better person then Adam. I know I've probably brought this in an ask before, but it's something that I've thought about in recent days. Blake really got the short end when it came to her character.

I saw both of your questions so I’m just gonna combine them in this post.

You’re right about Blake not having much of a personal investment to Salem. That could’ve been solved by making Adam run back to Salem with the other villains in V5 instead of completely divorcing him from the main plot. There’s irony in him working with humans but they could double down on him simply wanting the world and enemies to suffer. I would’ve paid money to see Jacques’s face hearing a soldier say “Adam Taurus is in the manor.” You can argue Weiss needed more of reason at the beginning but that remedies itself by her learning Winter is supposed to be a maiden. She doesn’t need a specific villain. Her reason is making sure her sister doesn’t get murdered.

As for Blake’s relationship status, o stand by my opinion it makes the most sense for her to want to be single for a while. Nora’s character arch is a very nice message, but it honestly should’ve gone to Blake who needs it more because the entire show makes Blake act based on the partner they attach her to.

V1-V2 had her act based on what Adam trauma and she only stopped because Yang told her to get a grip. Her even finding the WF was with Sun’s help.

Blake wasn’t planning on doing much or letting people help her in V4 without Sun kicking her butt into gear for the next volume; also implying a little bit of romantic behavior since V1. Then V6 has her trying to be a good partner to Yang and once again deal with her ex. After that traumatic experience, the show has her flirting with Yang. I know V7 has time skips but the flirting started after the haircut which was only a few days after V6

The decision to tell Robyn was brought up and pushed by Yang without any say from the other teammates which personally bugged me. Yang is obviously a better person than Adam by far but you can make the argument Blake gravitates to strong willed and outwardly passionate people, which creates an environment where she has less agency, or more likely to be a follower. Especially in later seasons because she would actively be trying to be a better partner instead of a better teammate to all.

So yeah I also found it a little odd for her to be one saying “You have to know who you are outside of the other person” when the audience doesn’t really get Blake making strong decisions and statements that come from her own way of thinking and not outside sources. Her strongest choice was cutting the train to leave the WF.

Nora’s never had a problem telling Ren and her friends when she thinks something is dumb or wrong and that they should be doing something else. She took the lead in the V6 conversation telling Jaune to heal, and is perfectly fine slapping Ren to his senses when he needs to get a grip.

If you read this far, just know I actually like bmblb and I think Nora’s development was sweet, but I really wish Blake stood up on her own more often.

[midnightkens]

i’m cold, alone

TW: Drug addiction, alcoholism, mentions of trauma, rehab, and being outed

—

Colt blinks blearily and rubs his eyes. It’s never quiet in the city, but this is as close as it’ll ever get. If he closes his eyes, he can just barely make out the crickets’ chirp, a song that reminds him of hot Florida summers, chlorinated water clinging to his hair and skin and playing Manhunt with his cousins. Nothing was simple, but he hadn’t a care in the world in those moments. He misses his cousins. They haven’t spoken in nearly twenty years, not since Mom outed him to the entire family.

Colt can’t help but laugh. He’s been in rehab, yet his bisexuality was the final straw for more than half of his family. How fucking fake.

The door creaks beside him, and he cracks an eye open to see his partner coming out to join him. He grins. Ken has a familiar tumbler in his hand, but does it matter? Does anything? No, not right now. He should care. He should be begging through gritted teeth for Ken to dump the wine, to stop drinking and come back to him. But everything is so calm and peaceful. Who is he to destroy it by starting an argument?

Ken sits beside him. Colt pulls him into his side and kisses the top of his head, and Ken sighs contentedly. He gestures toward the tumbler. “Where’s mine?”

Ken snorts. “Are you crazy? You can’t mix, babe.”

Colt waves a hand dismissively. “I’m fine. C’mon. I’ll just go get it myself.”

“No, you won’t.” Ken stiffens in his hold, and Colt frowns. He’s so angry, and for what? Doesn’t he know that he’s a hypocrite? “You bitch about the taste every time I give you a sip, and there isn’t any beer or tequila in the house. Nice try. Besides, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Oh, like you’re not? You have a fucking twenty-ounce spritzer every night, and you don’t think you’re hurting yourself?”

“Never said I wasn’t,” Ken says with a shrug. “Don’t put words in my mouth. But you’re high as fuck.”

“I am not – “

“Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you can barely keep your eyes open.”

“I’m tired – “

“Don’t preach about me hurting myself when you’re sitting here acting like I’m stupid,” Ken hisses through gritted teeth. “How many painkillers have you had tonight?” Colt feels Ken’s icy glare, and he keeps his eyes focused on the sky. It isn’t that big of a deal. Ken has his vice; why isn’t Colt allowed his? Why is he getting criticized and judged when he’s been nothing but supportive? Ken’s been a fucking mess, and Colt understands, but he’s been holding it together for him for so long. Keeping himself and Ken afloat had been easy at first. He’d carried the weight of Ken’s trauma when Ken couldn’t. He’d completely crumbled, and Colt had been there to catch the fall. Colt misses his partner. He misses the genuine grins, how easily he’d laughed, how he’d serenade Colt with his guitar and make him feel like they were the only two who existed. Ken is a shell of the man he’d met all those months ago.

Colt misses him so much he could cry, but he can’t. The pills dilute everything; it’s almost like being outside of his body. He welcomes the floating, the complete emotional detachment. He wishes it were permanent. It’s so much easier to keep up the façade. His shoulders rest easily now that the weight is gone.

It’s not fair. Ken didn’t ask to be traumatized, and Colt promised to support him. Promises are easy to make in the moment, but Colt’s always been great at breaking them.

One pill. Just one to quell the stress and anxiety. Then two because one wasn’t working, then three so he and Ken could be stoned together and –

Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine this. A few months ago, he would have laughed at the idea of Ken and him getting drunk and high together in their house. That’ll never happen, he’d thought as he watched Ken sip on his drink, resisting the own itch under his skin, the desperation for the familiar high so strong he wants to claw off his own skin.

Now, here they are. High and drunk together, dancing the same waltz but always three steps behind the other.

They’ll wake up tomorrow and stare at each other from across the kitchen table. His mouth will be parched, head full of cotton, and Ken will reek of wine. Tomorrow they’ll vow that they’ll stop, vow to return to their normal lives and their relationship. Colt wonders what the point is.

They’ll stop when they’re ready.

But when will we both be ready?

[shadyruinskryptonite]

Titan Bending Chapter 6

Warning: Violence consistent with cannon, NSFW so MDNI, language, major character death (both consistent with canon of both AOT and ATLA as well as diverging from canon), so much trauma literally everyone is so traumatized, very much slow burn, a little enemies to lovers, SO MUCH ANGST, hurt/comfort, hurt and delayed comfort, AFAB reader

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of death, injury, sparring, fighting, hand-to-hand combat, weapons

WC: 3660

Previous Chapter, Next Chapter

Masterlist

Tags: @mochminnie @sseleniaa

Walking down the hallway after breakfast, I see the kids that I’ve started to get to know, my squad if you will, on the training field. I stop to watch for a second and see that Armin is just sitting off to the side. 

Walking onto the field and up to him, I ask, “Whatcha doin all by yourself?”

I seem to have caught him by surprise because he pauses for a moment with wide eyes before responding, “Oh, there’s an uneven number of people so I have to wait for a sparring partner.”

“Sparring, eh?” I say with a gleam in my eyes. “How about I be your partner then?”

“Oh, um, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” I say reaching out my hand to help him off the ground. He picks up a wooden sword and I snort at him, “What’s the toy for?”

“Oh,” he looks at the sword in his hand, “it’s because our actual swords are so sharp that we don’t use those during practice.”

I nod and take a fighting stance. Armin gets into one as well and I have to be careful not to make a face.

Ooh, hand-to-hand is NOT this kid’s specialty.

It’s not until he takes a swing that I can’t contain myself anymore. “Okay, I don’t want to be rude but…can I give you a few pointers?” He nods enthusiastically at me. 

“Okay, well first let’s talk about your stance. Your feet are a bit too close together and it would be very easy for someone to push you off balance if not completely over.” I push him lightly on the shoulder and watch him stumble a little in order to demonstrate my point. “In the same vein, you need to be a little lower. Bend more at the knees. That way, your center of gravity is lower which also makes it harder to knock you off balance.” Once he gets into position, I push his shoulder again and show him that he’s already much more solid. 

“There, doesn’t that feel better?” He nods again in response.

“Alright, now let’s work on your motions. You used more of a stabbing motion, but that should probably be reserved for a finishing move because if you use it to open,” I take one hand underneath his wrist and push up while I use my other on the sword and pull down, knocking the weapon out of his hand in one move. I grab the glorified two-by-four before it hits the ground and continue, “it’s really easy to disarm. We haven’t been fighting continuously so I’m not tired enough yet. My suggestion is to use more side to side movements, at least early in a fight. They move faster so they’re harder to catch. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah! Like this?” Armin says as he implements my critiques.

“That’s perfect Armin! You’re a quick learner!” I say as I beam at him and I could swear I see him blush.

We keep practicing like this for a few minutes before Levi approaches. “Y/N, it’s nice to see you at practice. Arlert, I’ve been trying to say this to you for so long, what changed?” Armin stammers for a minute before Levi cuts him off, “well whatever it is, keep it up.” I smile at the kid and he blushes again.

Just as we’re about to work without the swords, Hange smacks her hands on my shoulders making me jump.

“Sorry to break up such a successful little practice, but I need you my dear,” she says, only barely containing her excitement. 

“It’s just about lunchtime Hange, how about we eat quickly and then we get to work?” She visibly deflates but ultimately agrees. The entire squad makes our way to the mess hall where we’re met with Erwin for the first time. Unlike the last time I saw him, he’s clean shaven and his hair is neatly styled. He doesn’t immediately see me amongst the kids, but when we do make eye contact he smiles politely and I grin at him saying, “it’s nice to see you out and about Erwin.”

“Thank you Y/N. It’s good to see that you seem to be getting along with everyone-” he’s cut off by Hange’s maniacal laughter. Everyone turns to look at her and I cringe knowing exactly what she’s about to say.

“Yeah, except for the wild suckerpunch she hit Levi with yesterday! It was truly a sight to be seen, no one has ever stood up to him quite like that!”

As Erwin turns to look at me with surprise and a hint of amusement on his face, I grimace and rub my neck as I see Levi look at the ground out of the corner of my eye. “Yeah, I apologized to Levi last night about that, I was definitely out of line and made the entire situation much more personal than it needed to be. My friends back home are all roughly the same age as Levi’s squad so…” I trail off. 

Going through the line, I decide to copy Erwin this time as he asks, “tell us a bit more about your friends, from what you’ve said so far it sounds like they could provide some more information.”

I sit down between Hange and Armin, with Levi and Erwin across the table and the rest of the kids huddled closely.. 

“Well, when I left Zuko was 17, Sokka and Suki were 16, Katara was 14, and Aang and Toph were 13. There’s a lot that could be said about all of them, but Aang is probably the one you’ll find the most interesting. I’ve mentioned the concept of the Avatar before as the only person that can bend all of the elements and that’s what Aang is. Part of what makes the Avatar who they are is the spirit they have. 10,000 years ago a human spirit fused with the spirit of light, Raava. So basically that’s what’s been passed down from person to person. Since it’s one spirit that all of the Avatars through history have shared, all of the knowledge of bending comes with it, so in addition to being able to bend all of the elements the person that is the Avatar is also the strongest bender in the world. After having lived with you all a little while, I know this is going to sound utterly unbelievable but Aang is actually, technically, 113 years old. He was an Air Nomad and when he found out he was the Avatar he ran away. Basically, he crashed his flying bison into the ocean during a storm and the Avatar spirit saved him in, essentially, a big iceberg-”

“What’s an iceberg?” Levi enquires.

“Oh, sorry. An iceberg is a massive hunk of ice. They can be as big as entire islands or countries. They float in the sea in super cold areas - specifically near the Southern Watertribe and the Northern Watertribe where I’m from. Anyway, Aang stayed frozen in that iceberg for 100 years until Sokka and Katara freed him accidentally. Sokka and Katara are brother and sister from the Southern Watertribe, and Katara is a waterbender like me but Sokka isn’t. Somewhat unrelated because we didn’t find this out for a while, but they’re actually my cousins. Anyway, they basically went on the journey with Aang then to master all of the elements. The thing about the Avatar cycle is that you have to go in order, and that goes both for learning the elements and for which element the next Avatar is reincarnated into. So first was water, then they traveled to the Earth Kingdom where they met Toph. Despite being just a kid herself, Toph is Aang’s earthbending master. She’s a blind girl from a noble family and uses her earthbending as a form of sight. Suki is a non-bender from a place called Kyoshi Island in the Earth Kingdom. She’s the captain of their elite fighting force and is crazy talented. The last person then is Zuko. He eventually became Aang’s firebending master. Zuko is from the Fire Nation and is now Fire Lord, which is basically king of the Fire Nation. At the time I met him though he was just the banished, exiled crown prince. That’s…that’s basically the overview. Is there anything in particular you want to know?”

Before anyone can say anything, Eren chimes in “how did you meet these people?”

I smile at him. “Well, I met Zuko first. I was living in the woods of the Earth Kingdom when he tried to steal food from me. I basically taught him how to hunt and fend for himself and then began traveling with him and his uncle Iroh. At the time they were on the run. We ended up in the capital of the Earth Kingdom, Ba Sing Se. Actually, that’s the city I thought I was in when I landed here. But it was here that I got hurt in a fight between people from the Fire Nation and Aang and Katara. When I came to, I was in the Fire Nation and still very injured so I escaped and found Aang and the rest of the group and they rescued me pretty much with open arms.”

“Will you shut up and finish eating so we can get to work?” Hange hisses in my ear. 

I chuckle at her and keep eating as Erwin asks, “so if Aang’s spirit goes back 10,000 years, do you think he knows anything about this part of the world?” A hush falls across the table and everyone looks at me with baited breath. I think for a moment before saying, “No, I don’t think he currently knows anything about the world being larger than the four nations. But he might be our best bet to figure out more. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s possible he can enter the spirit world and speak with one of his past lives about it.”

“But that would require us finding him,” Levi states bluntly. Hange slumps a little at this but realization dawns on me. No one other than Levi seems to notice my change in demeanor. “You have an idea?” he asks me directly.

I pause, mulling it over before simply saying, “Possibly.” I stop while everyone waits for me to continue. “Again, it’s not a guarantee but…I’ve actually been able to travel to the spirit world myself before. Only during full moons, but it is something I can do. I don’t have the same past lives, so it’s not a direct connection or anything, but it could be something.” The table falls silent again as everyone processes my words.

“Well,” Hange breaks the silence, “I think it’s time for us to get to work!”

As we stand up and place our trays on the return, I realize everyone is coming with us. 

“We’re going to have an audience for our first real experiment?” I ask her.

“Of course! You’re an anomaly and they have time before they have to start cleaning so everyone wants to watch,” Hange responds matter-of-factly.

I nod in understanding before asking, “So what's our first test?”

I can practically feel Hange start to vibrate with excitement as she starts in, “I think we can get through a few today! I want to see how close you have to be to a source of water in order to use it, and if that distance changes if the source is different-”

“-like if I’m pulling from something direct like a river or indirect like a tree,” I interject.

“Exactly! That shouldn’t take very long though so I also want to see how precise you can be at different distances. Oh! And maybe we can see how much water you can bend at once today too! And I’m working on ways to measure how much force you can hit a target with and we can also work with how you localize ice and-”

“Hange! We don’t have to do ALL of the experiments we discussed today!” I cut her off with a giggle.

Her excitement is adorable. It reminds me a bit of Sokka.

At this point, we’ve reached the field where she runs tests with Eren. With a clap of her hands, Hange announces, “Okay! So Moblit has set up markers every 10 meters for 50 meters. I have just a cup of water at zero. Start as far away as you feel you can.”

“Easy enough but I will say,” I begin to explain, “a small source like this is more difficult to bend from far away. If it were a bigger source, like a pond, I think I could pretty easily bend it from 50 meters.”

Her eyes fill with wonder and she scribbles down some notes without saying another word. I smile at her again before walking to the 10 meter mark. Before I can bend she looks up and her voice is tinged with a little disappointment, “Oh, you don’t think you can bend that from farther back?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I’m not a super strong bender or anything so I think I can probably do farther back, but I’m not sure so I don’t want to start too optimistic if that makes sense.”

Her enthusiasm returns, assuaged by my explanation. Without another word, I return to my stance and bend the water out of the cup, bringing it to myself and realizing we can kill two birds with one stone. “Hange, I don’t know what you have planned to test precision but putting this water back in this cup might be a decent test of that.”

“Oh y/n! I love how you think! I’ll want to do other tests too but that is a brilliant idea!”

I smile again before returning the water and carefully lower it down into the cup without spilling a drop.

Haha! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

A bit smug with myself, I walk to the next marker at 20 meters and repeat the steps, doing the same at 30 meters without a mistake at either. It’s at the 40 meter mark that I begin to struggle, unable to accurately sense the water in the cup. Ultimately, I can still bend it but when it comes to returning the water to the cup I lose about half. Moblit refills the cup and we proceed to test the increments between 30 and 40 to see exactly where I lose precision, and then we go past 40 to see where I lose the ability to bend it at all. 

These steps are repeated on a few poor trees, and it turns out I can bend a tree from 67 meters away while I can only reach 44 meters with a small source. After completing this series of tests, I reproach Hange and the group inquiring about the next test.

“Okay, so I don’t think we can test how much water I can bend right now. There’s nowhere near a large enough body of water and I’ve already killed too many of your trees.”

Erwin snorts and Hange seems dismissive as she says, “Oh, that’s no problem. It’s for a greater good!” I crinkle my nose up with disgust at her suggestion, but no one seems to pay me any mind as Hange continues. “I do think that bending the water in trees is not the most scientific approach to measuring the amount. I guess that just means that we’ll have to take a field trip soon!”

As Hange gets lost in her excitement, I see Levi turn to the kids out of the corner of my eye.

“Alright brats, that’s enough watching the circus,” I roll my eyes at his insinuation, “you all have your assigned posts for cleaning, disperse now.” He’s met with groans but ultimately they all salute and head in their own directions. 

I turn to Hange and say, “Well, until you figure out exactly how you want to run some of the other experiments, I don’t think there’s anything else we can do today. Am I dismissed?”

She looks at me incredulously and I can feel Levi and Erwin’s eyes on me as well, so I continue, “Levi’s squad is cleaning so I wanted to assist them. I know I’ve made it clear that I’m not a soldier, but I am living here too so I figure it’s the least I can do.” She softens slightly and while she’s still disappointed, she does agree that I should help with cleaning and decides that she can go synthesize what we’ve worked on today. As she and Erwin walk away deep in discussion, I walk with Levi.

“So where do you need me, cap’?” I say with mischief in my voice.

Levi gives me a bombastic side eye but doesn’t comment on my playful title. “Connie and Mikasa are cleaning the mess hall. Eren, Sasha, Armin, Krista, and Jean are on stable duty. The choice is yours.”

“Stables sounds like shit…no pun intended,” I say amused with my own joke. To my surprise, Levi lets out a snort which I think for him is the equivalent of crying with laughter. “So, I guess I’ll help Connie and Mikasa.”

Once inside, I split off from Levi and head towards the mess hall where I see the bald boy and the girl with the black hair.

So her name is Mikasa and that’s Connie. That must mean the other two girls are Sasha and Krista. Once I figure out the difference between the two of them, I think I’ll finally be able to put together everyone’s names.

As I approach, they both stop and just stare at me. Suddenly feeling like an outsider, I stop awkwardly and say “Hi, uh, I’m going to help y’all clean today.”

“I thought you weren’t a soldier?” Connie says with a hint of amusement in his voice, clearly referring to my little outburst yesterday. 

I sigh and explain to them the same thing I just did to Hange about wanting to pull my weight and this seems to satisfy Mikasa, so with the ghost of a smile she hands me a bucket and a rag. I take it from her, returning a warm grin that seems to make her even more comfortable with my presence.

Looking into the bucket, I’m struck with an idea. “I think I have a way that we can do this really quickly. Pour your buckets onto the tables,” I instruct the kids. They’re completely confused so I realize I’m going to have to demonstrate.

I pour some of the soapy water on the table closest to me before bending it to spread it out. Once the entire table is covered, I turn back to the wide eyed Mikasa and Connie and explain, “I can cover each table quickly, we let it sit for a moment so that it disinfects better, and then I bend it off and out the window. Then I can take plain, clean water and rinse the tables off. While I do that you can dust, then we do the floors the same way and we’re done in maybe 15 minutes!”

As we get to work, I catch them watching me. Their curiosity is cute and honestly not dissimilar from my own. We finish up in about 15 minutes just like I predicted. As we’re finishing the floor, Levi enters the mess hall to check in and is visibly surprised that we’re done already, although he shakes the emotion quickly from his face.

His eyes narrow and I hear him mumble to himself, “we’ll see about that.”

His cloth runs across every surface and not a speck of dirt sullies the white fabric. He glances at the three of us before walking up to a random table to inspect it more thoroughly. When his back is turned, I wink at Mikasa and Connie and they both give me hesitant smiles. Levi swipes underneath the table, clearly thinking this will get us but much to his surprise, this surface is also pristine. He huffs and almost inaudibly tells us we did a good job. I was expecting him to tell us to go assist the others, but instead he gives us the rest of the afternoon free so I decide to make tea for the kids and we can sit somewhere and just relax.

Mikasa smiles a genuine smile this time and says, “that would be nice.”

I’m taken aback by the pitch of her voice and then I chuckle. “You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you talk.” The girl seems almost embarrassed but they both come to the kitchen with me as I start to prepare some tea. 

“So, why did you guys join the military?”

They both pause but it’s Connie that breaks the silence. “I originally wanted to be a hero and bring honor to my village,” he laughs without humor, “nothing really honorable about this though, and it’s not like there’s a Ragako Village anymore.” The look in his eyes is distant, and I want to inquire more but decide it’s not the time. I hand him his tea first.

Turning to Mikasa, she sort of just shrugs her shoulders and says “I wanted to make sure I could keep Eren safe,” she pauses before quickly adding, “and Armin too! It was always their dream to join the Survey Corps. Armin was the one that told Eren there’s an outside world and they’ve both wanted to go outside the walls ever since.”

“So that’s why they’re so interested in my stories,” I say as I pass her the tea and she nods.

“Armin is obsessed with the sea,” Connie adds.

I smile at this before getting lost in my own thoughts for a moment. I then simply say, “the ocean is pretty cool. I miss it.”

[anachronistic-falsehood]

giving u a free ticket 2 talk about qsmp more bc its fun 🎟🎟 tell me about jaiden. i only vaguely see people talking about jaiden and i just think shes a cool person in general (<< used 2 watch her animation videos ALL the time) so i wanna know what shes up to :]

OH DUDE. INSANE ABOUT QJAIDEN FR. i don't watch her pov often so a lot of this might be off but like. i will not stop thinking about her ever. okay. so jaiden and roier. platonic partners forever and ever <3 they had a son named bobby and he was just the SILLIEST little guy ever on the planet!!! such a little shit!!! and he was so so caring and loving!!! he DIED. ok. he DIED and it was SAD. and roier coped by hiding his grief with jokes, but jaiden just kind of. wallowed in her grief. she let it consume her. and CUCURUCHO CAME ALONG and started hanging out with her and being nice to her. and like. ok. whatever u weird ass bear.

but like. the way she treated cucurucho kind of got similar to the way she treated bobby. and ALL OF US could see that that fucking THING was trying to manipulate her by being a fucking STAND-IN FOR HER SON. and jaiden is not stupid or naive, she definitely realized that she was trying to fill this bobby shaped hole in her heart with cucurucho, but she kind of just. let it happen. it was better to use this love on something than let it sit there with nowhere else to go and turn into more grief. yk.

it's kind of canon that jaiden was involved with the federation somehow before arriving on the island. none of us know HOW. also she has wings!!! she's a parrot hybrid which is really cool!!! but we also know that the feds did horrible experiments on other bird people like baghera and quackity and they're messing with phil. THEY HATE BIRDS I GUESS. also she can't fly. she either doesn't remember how to or never learned how in the first place, and that second option has some WILD implications if u think about her mostly unknown past with the feds

OK now it gets kind of complicated bc GUESS WHAT there are multiple cucuruchos. there's one that types All proper and normal, with correct grammar and punctuation, like this. and another one that types KARKAT STYLE IN ALL CAPS AND IS VERY SILLY!!! and the all caps one (i think??) is called osito bimbo by some of the islanders. at some point jaiden was... not rly kidnapped???? but i guess like. recruited by the federation to spend two weeks training osito bimbo because he wasn't a very proper cucurucho. and these two weeks FUCKED HER UP. she got MORE emotionally attached to the cucuruchos. they are some of the only living(?) things she can count on. she is DEEP in the shit now. even after learning about horrible things that one or more of the cucuruchos have done (the cellbit chainsaw torture, the felps kidnapping, etc etc) she kind of brushed that off as like "oh they were just being silly!!!!" like Girl These People Are Traumatized. So Are You. GET HELP. like she's fully aware that the federation is bad, but she separated cucurucho from the federation in her mind so she doesn't have to feel bad about caring for cucurucho. she's really close with people who have been wronged by the feds and/or cucurucho but she just. can't let go of this lifeline. cucurucho is so important to her, just like bobby. she can't give that up.

my beloved grieving mother/flightless bird/federation favourite <3 she is so interesting i'm going to start ripping up floorboards

[danses-with-dogmeat]

🦀👑 for deacon and “you always see the good in people. even me.”

Aww, yes, this is perfect 🥺 Love some nice fluff for Deeks <3 He really does deserve it 😊

(And slowly so slowly but surely, I'm chipping away at the last of these prompts, but I have some different stuff coming out here pretty soon that I'm excited to get back into, so plans for more are a'comin'!)

For now though, I hope you like this!

"That's horrible." You whispered, more to yourself than to Deacon, but the Railroad spy nodded in agreement, nonetheless.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I... I wish I could've been here. Could've known you before, could've helped, somehow..."

Deacon's ginger brows raised high, his forehead wrinkling slightly as he fixed you with his surprised gaze.

"I, ah, I appreciate that Sole, but that... That little confession of mine was more of a warning than a ploy for your heartfelt sympathies."

"A warning?"

"Well..." Deacon shrugged, looking away with an expression akin to a grimace. "Yeah, you know. Like the infamous "trust no one" note I threw at you a while back... I wasn't, well, I wasn't always this perfect, this morally upright."

Deacon's hands were flying up with a dramatic gesture, back to their animated antics after his previous muted tone and body language.

Despite his words now, the way he tried to convince you, it was only too obvious how uncomfortable the big reveal of his past had been for him to voice.

"Before you settled for calling me 'friend,' I figured you should know that. Know the... the truth. You know, to better inform your decision, and all that."

A small smile tugged on your lips, but your eyes still murmured your sympathies.

"Well, it doesn't change my decision." You told Deacon firmly, as he looked down towards the ground ahead of him.

"No?"

"No. If anything... it only solidifies it, really."

He quirked a brow at that, his head snapping back to get a better look at the mouth that just uttered the unthinkable.

"You told me the truth, Deacon. For the first time-- well, the first time without me threatening to leave you or stab you, or something like that." You chuckled at that briefly, and Deacon's lips curled upwards in response.

"And you did it unprompted." You continued, your tone more serious this time. "You told me something deeply personal, you showed me a vulnerability that... That I honestly wasn't sure existed in you."

"Yeah..." A shadow of that smile still clung to his face as Deacon looked at you through his signature darkened shades. "Must be contagious or something."

Now you raised a brow at him, tilting your head in question.

"Well, I never did do anything like this. 'Till you came along, that is. Telling me the whole sob story of your traumatic past, waxing poetic about your personal ideals and ties with the history of the nation and the world, coming to me in tears with--"

"Okay, yeah, I got it, thanks." You smiled, almost tiredly at that, the lines on your face becoming more prominent at the simple mention of the grief you'd endured in the time you've known him.

You heard your partner sigh beside you.

"Look, Sole..." Deacon's voice was low now, strained as he spoke like he was trying to keep a secret. "What I'm trying, and so gloriously failing to express to you, is..."

He removed his glasses as he paused, folding them neatly as his fingers continued fiddling with the temple pieces. You felt your breath catch as his stark blue gaze locked to yours, and unconsciously stilled at the genuine emotion you found there.

If you moved too abruptly, if you loosed the breath you held in your lungs, it might drive this vulnerability away, might frighten it to the point of no return, might break his gaze from yours.

So, still you stayed, and held your breath as Deacon's voice retuned to him.

"Shit, Sole... I don't know how you do it, but... you always manage to see the good in people. Even when they don't deserve it. Even when they're like me. Just a life made up of various mistakes, driven by spite and the opportunity for revenge, by my own stubborn refusal to die at the hands of the same assholes responsible for making me what I was back then."

Your lungs were burning with the lack of use, but still he carried on, and you held firm in your unfaltering stillness.

"Even when I wasn't sure there was any good to see at all. It's just... It's a farce. All my goodness is driven by my own guilt, my hatred of who I once was, and yet, here you are, making excuses for me. Forgiving me."

He chuckled, but it was dry, humorless, and his eyes broke their connection to you, looking away as he clenched his jaw tightly.

"And you shouldn't. Deep down, I know you shouldn't forgive all my mistakes, but damn, it feels good to know that someone can."

Deacon tried to hide it, but the wetness of his eyes was unmistakable, even as he looked away.

"You're right." You said softly, scooting yourself towards him on the stone wall outside the Old North Church, trying in vain to catch his eye again.

"I do forgive you, and... I don't believe you."

"Well, that's not really new, is it?" He laughed through the strain of his throat as one hand came up to wipe at his cheek. "Guess I can't really say that I blame you on that account, I'm not really one for--"

"I don't believe that hate and guilt are the only things driving you to be a good person, to be who you are today. Maybe at one point, after everything that happened, everything that was taken from you... I couldn't blame you if that was the case... But now?" You shook your head as you spoke, and his gaze finally drifted back to your face.

"No, I don't buy it." You said firmly.

"You're good, Deacon. You're selfless and brave and resourceful. You put yourself on the front lines every day for complete strangers, you go through reconstructive surgery, change who you are every single year, and you've saved your whole entire faction at least once. How many people can say that? How many have gone to those lengths, have made that kind of a difference?"

Deacon only shrugged at that, and you could see the way his mind was struggling behind his eyes, at war with itself as one side fought with everything it had to believe you and the other countered it, grappling within to try and drag him back into his own insecurities, his own biased view of his self-worth.

"What you did back then... it was bad, and you know that. We both do. But what you're doing now? Today? With these people who are so in need of your help? That's what matters."

Your hand touched his, and though he stiffened, Deacon allowed your touch to comfort him, to quiet the cacophonous outbursts badgering each other in his head.

"I don't just see the good in you because I'm some special, kind, forgiving person. I see it because it's there, Deacon. Whether you believe it or not, it's there. And whether you let yourself believe it anytime soon, or you leave it to our friends in the Railroad or to the countless others that we've helped in towns and settlements, or you just leave it to me, I'll always believe it's there."

[kahlanmars]

BAD FEELING part. 23

MASTERLIST

taglist: @crimsonincursive

Hiii. I was on holiday but now I'm baaack! I couldn't, ok? I just couldn't. My precious babyboy.

23. Playing God

Turns out it’s not how you die simply because Finnick saves you once again. You lost count of how many times he saved your sorry ass, but you think you’ll owe him for the rest of your life. You’ll give a gigantic gift to Annie when the baby is born.

Your group is hiding in a small inlet now, and you can’t help but to ask a question everyone has.

«What the fuck were those?»  

«Mutts.» Boggs answers. You think he knew, maybe not exactly about these but he was aware of the chance. «Snow knows the tunnels are our best possibility.»

If this is your best shot you are already dead.

Mutt technology scares you so much. Modified animals created by the Capitol, controlled by them too. 

«So you are implying we have to deal with the lizards.» Perla assumes. You don’t agree on the “Lizard” term. You know lizards, they are small and nice and green. These things are white, too human shaped for your taste and they can talk. They say only “Katniss”, but they can talk.

Katniss who is too silent. Katniss who is too tense. You two are not close, but she’s your non boyfriend adoptive daughter, so you try to keep an eye on her, on Peeta too, and in a way on Finnick, even if he is your age and save you all the time. Your partner has a lot of adoptive children.

«Nobody said it was going to be easy.» Finnick remarks. Cressida always puts the camera on his face every time he talks. It didn’t matter how many times Finnick made pass-pros telling about his traumatic past and how Panem mistook him for a sex symbol, he is forever going to be the Games’ golden boy. Cressida is a practical woman, if he can bring more people to the revolution his face will be the poster face along with Katniss’s. Cressida is also a Capitol woman and some habits don’t die.

«We dealt with mutts and Capitols before, didn’t we?» Lora says, with a high pitch tone who is not at all like the others. You caress her arm in reassurance, because if she has to talk like this she is scared. «We are not doomed. We can try.»

«We can win.» Peeta adds, but it’s Katniss who finally speaks up.

«We have to.»

«Welcome to the 76th Hunger Games.» Finnick declares. «And may the odds be ever in your favor.»

The plan is simple: we see a lizard and we fight. You don’t fight, you are not able to and you never did that. There is no way to fight a shark, and you only fought humans. 

«Now, who never used a gun?» Boggs asks you.

You raise your hand until you realise there’s no need for you to do it. You spent too much time with children, you can just tell them. Lora, Perla and a fucking soldier follow your example and you realize that in District Thirteen you can be reaped as a soldier when you are fifteen. Not really different from The Hunger Games. On the other hand this is what war does… but are you not supposed to help the children instead of making them fight for you?

You really hate District Thirteen.

«You will stay behind. The Mockingjay is the priority.» 

Katniss watches him like he grew a second head. «No, I’m not. I can be dead at the end of all this. The priority is killing President Snow. We reach for the entrance and we go. This is our mission.»

You are not scared, you are absolutely terrified. You follow the soldiers waiting for the lizards to strike any minute now, not sure if they follow the scent of the noise. 

For a while the situation is the same for everyone.

You wait, and you wait in silence.

Until you hear a screech. 

You begin to run.

You run until your lungs are on fire and you spot a stair that if you are lucky enough will bring you out of this mess, and if you are not will bring you out of this misery. 

«STAAAIRS!» You scream, hoping the lizards don’t know your language, because Finnick, some soldiers and Peeta are behind you. 

You climb as fast as you can and you reach the top. Opening a door on the wall is not the simplest thing, and you are wasting precious time. Why are you on the top? Why is not Katniss on the top, or Boggs, or someone who knows what they are doing? You are wasting time. You are wasting time and now that means someone will be killed because of you, it’s all your fault, it’s…

Open. You open it. 

You crawl out the hole and you help the others with Perla, knowing the lizards are behind them with sharp teeth and claws. The others are on the ground now, shielding you from any possible danger.

The last ones are Caius and Finnick, going in together because the stairs are big enough. You hold the hand of the guard and your friend when you feel that something is wrong, too heavy than before. 

«Finnick?» You scream, trembling in terror. You can’t risk Finnick, you can’t risk Finnick, you can’t risk him…

«My leg!» He is clearly in pain, the lizards are biting him in the flesh, greedy for a meal. They are too strong.

He won’t make it, you realise. There’s no way you and Perla can lift him enough to save him, he is going to die there or you will die with him.

The boy who saved you, the man who will have a baby soon, dies. The handsome man who suffered the most. He doesn’t deserve it. All his life has been hell and now that he can have happiness he dies.

Meanwhile, the soldier who left you to die is about to be saved. By you. You get to save him but not Finnick. 

He doesn’t deserve it more. He will kill other people because he’s hurt, Caius is dangerous, he was willing to let Marjorie die because he was offended by you. 

No.

In a blur, you really don’t know what you are doing, like a foreign force that possesses you, you remove your hand from Caius’s and you push him off the stairs. He shouts, but the lizards surround him immediately and they tear his pieces apart, famished, leaving Finnick alone.

You pull him up, helped by Perla and you close the hole, as fast as you can.

Then you watch him. He watches you, and you can only imagine what he is thinking.

A murderer. A killer. A cold blood killer. The woman who played God. It wasn’t up to you who lived and who died. Is this for Finnick? Or just a convenient revenge? Would you have done the same with another soldier? 

But he didn’t deserve to live, he tried to kill you and Marjorie, and Finnick was dying and you didn’t want him to win.

«I can’t walk, I think my leg is broken.» He talks after what you think it’s an infinite amount of time. 

It’s Cressida who has the solution. «Come, I know a place.» 

The place that Cressida knows is a taylor’s house. The woman, named Tigris, was a famous stylist until Snow decided she wasn’t pretty enough to work for him and now she collaborates with the rebels. To be fair, she is hideous. She looks like a cat, her skin is yellow with black stripes and her nose is almost feline. She is too skinny, maybe because food is rationed in the Capitol since the war started. 

She is nice, though. She offers a meal and she let you stay in her basement until you’ll do part B of the plan, which means no lizards and no snakes. 

And blankets, you love blankets. 

You are sitting on the couch trying to bandage Finnick’s leg when he speaks up. He can’t walk, Gale carried him on his shoulder. 

«Thank you.» He talks to you, when Gale rushes to Katniss.

«No problem, I’m no Prim but I think it’s broken. You’ll stay here, you can’t fight with a broken leg.» It’s not your place to tell, or your orders to give, especially to him. Still, you are pretty good at giving orders.

«I didn’t mean… for this.» 

You close your eyes, trying not to break your calm. If you don’t think about it and you go on you will remain collected. Now it’s really not a good time for a panic attack. 

«You are my friend and I have to protect you.» You repeat like a mantra. «And I wasn’t going to leave Annie alone.»

«You know, apart from the age difference and the mentor - tribute thing, I get why you two are together. You are both protectors.»

You stay silent for so long because if you say something you are going to burst into tears, but one rolls down to your face, out of your control, and soon you begin to cry against his shoulder.

«I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry…» You murmur.

«Don’t, you did it to save me.» He hugs you, rubbing your back.

«I’m not like Haymitch, I’m not a good person, I’m a murderer.» You babble looking at him like you are desperate.

«And you think I’m not? I am. Haymitch is. Katniss is. We are all tributes, Daisy. We are all killers.» 

«That is not the same and you know it.» You look at him.

«Says who?» He deadpans. «It’s like in the Games.»

He caresses you and he strokes your hair until you fall asleep against him. It’s Katniss who awakes you, rather gently for her. «Ehi, there’s Haymitch on the computer, so… I thought maybe you want to say hi.»

You have to wait for your turn, because he is speaking first with her and then with Boggs for strategic stuff, but then they let you speak to him for five minutes. Good, you can calm yourself down a little.

«Partner.» You say hi, rubbing your eyes. It’s the middle of the night and you cried yourself to sleep.

«Sweetheart. How are you doing?» He looks at you, you can tell he is worried but you are not going to say anything. Maybe they are recording.

«Bad, I miss you. But I’m alive.» And Caius is not. You can’t cope with that, so your brain acts like you didn’t do what you’ve done.

If you linger to the knowledge everything becomes black. The first time you were protecting Effie and him and you were trying not to be murdered by President Snow; the second time you were in the Hunger Games, fighting for your life. This time you have no excuses. You decided who had to live and who had to die.

Haymitch can’t know that. He will think you are not perfect, he will know you are evil, he will leave you, he doesn’t even love you. 

No, that is wrong. That is even worse! You have to tell him as soon as you get back in the district. That is the right thing to do. 

But you will lose him.

But… even the thought of losing him is selfish. Caius can’t lose anyone, because Caius is dead. Because of you.

Then again, Caius was a bad person who almost killed you and an innocent woman in the process.

«Stay alive, Gorgeous. I miss you too.» He seems tired. You don’t know how the tremors are these days, but his hands shake and he has black shadows under his eyes. 

«These confessions.» You tease him. 

«What can I say? You made me soft.» With those words the butterflies in your stomach are dancing to a very loud song. You made him soft.

«Didn’t replace me with a cute District 13 girl yet?» No real conversation, no real deal. They are watching you.

«Didn’t have time. Not like you and Finnick.» He deadpans. Boggs is down with gossip? Or Katniss said it to him when he asked about you.

«Oh yes, I was sleeping against him just now.» You retort with a wide grin. «You know my taste in men is “Handsome victors”.»

«Is it now? And I thought that was “Old alcoholics”.» You almost feel bad for the people that will see the video, because his eyes are dark with lust and you purr in every word. It will be embarrassing for them. You look like teenagers in love.

«Old alcoholics who can make you see stars at night?» 

He chuckles, but you can tell he is filled with pride. «You’re mine, remember that.»

«No, you are mine. Can’t wait to prove it to you.» You are being ridiculous and you know it, and then again when you’ve seen him on the monitor your heart skipped a bit. You are so proud of your bracelet and proud that everyone knows you wear something of his, not because he owns you, just because… he really knows you. And you are so scared, that’s so you to cope with that.

«And how would you do that, Princess?»

«I might bite your neck.» You have a little kink for his neck. It’s so strong, so rough, and when you kiss it he moans so loud and he always makes sure you scream in pleasure after… 

«Just my neck, Sweetheart?» 

«Boggs says you have to quit now.» Katniss tells you, and by the blush on her face you get she listened to your little conversation. You say goodbye to your handsome, funny, kind partner and almost burst into laughter when the dark haired girl avoids your gaze. She is so pure. 

When you come closer to Perla and Lora, they exchange a look.

«I miss you.» Lora tells her, mocking my accent.

«I miss you more. You are mine.» Perla follows her example. You scoff, clearly annoyed.

«Remember that you are mine.» The younger woman is really keen on your imitation. 

«No, you are mine.»

«You have to remember.»

«Remember it, Daisy.» 

They look at you like you’ll clap at their performance. You throw a pillow at them. «…Fuck off, you two.»

«And who would help you remember?»  

You laugh, and you come back to sleep between them. 

«Do you think we will die here?» Perla whispers after a while, maybe half an hour. «I don’t think we are very much loved by Thirteen.» 

«No, we can’t die. We need to go on a proper vacation in her district after the war.» You murmur. «I’ve always wanted to visit District Four.»

You smile and turn to see Lora’s reaction, but she is asleep. She looks so peaceful when she is sleeping, so young. You didn’t protect her much today, you should keep an eye on her too. She’s strong, she’s cunning but she’s still a kid. Being nineteen is still being a kid. Just a year out of the normal games.

«I don’t think we’ll arrive to an “After the war”. We don’t get to have an after.» Perla keeps going. She is clearly in a clouded mood tonight.

«Don’t even. We have to try.» You squeeze her arm. You thought like that all through your games, and it has been exhausting. She needs to fight, so she can’t be tired.

«I’m in love.» She whispers so briefly you almost don’t hear it. «For the first time. And I don’t want to lose it.»

You watch her closely. If you joke about it now you lose her. Perla is used to being the strong one, the one who doesn’t care about feelings, and if you can’t imagine her being so open and approachable. She is not like you, who screams you are in love with Haymitch to anyone who’s willing to hear about it. She doesn’t wear her heart on her cheek. 

«You won’t. You deserve it.» You stroke her brown hair to pamper her. «Do you want to tell me… who is it?»

She doesn’t answer right away. She closes her eyes, like it’s a great secret. It’s probably a secret. 

«I have been part of the rebellion since the start, you know?» You didn’t know. You thought it had been the same as for you, but you let her continue. «I volunteered because of that.»

You actually remember that she volunteered, but you thought it was for a sibling or a friend, not for a cause. «Weren’t you scared?»

«I was frightened. Working for the rebellion with Finnick, I…» For a moment you are terrified she says she is in love with Finnick. Like for real. Every woman who likes men in Panem had a crush on Finnick Odair, the dashing prince from District Four, but a real thing would have been devastating. He is married. His wife is pregnant. «I met a stylist.»

Ok, now you are just puzzled. «A stylist?»

She gulps. A confession. «The stylist. Like… the rebel stylist. The stylist of the rebellion. Katniss’s stylist.»

You cover your mouth with your hand. «Are you in love with Cinna?»

«Don’t hold it against me, Daisy. I don’t know what got into me. I don’t do these things. It’s not the right time.» 

«Things like? Living your life? Love?» You raise an eyebrow. «It’s wonderful! What do you live for if you don’t live for love? That’s just perfect.» 

«The rebellion comes first.» She reminds you. «For the both of us.»

«Oh, aren’t you just perfect for each other.» You joke. Just a little. She can bear that. «Plus, he is reeeally hot.» 

Lora opens an eye, clearly annoyed by your chatting. «Uh?»

«Oh, nothing.» You dismiss it.

«I’ve heard everything and I have just one question.»

«Shoot.» The sky blue eyed girl offers.

«What is it with you and old people?»

You pretend to sleep for most of the night. You don’t want to bother anyone with nightmares, but you also know there’s no way Caius won’t be in them when you’ll close your eyes.

You saved Finnick, and you are proud of yourself for that, but killing Caius has been so easy you are actually scared of yourself.

Yourself, yourself, yourself…

«A group of soldiers will come to take Finnick back to the District.» Boggs explains, looking at the man’s leg. It is actually bad, but it could have been worse. «We’ll stay to continue the mission. All clear?»

«All clear.»

That is a true thing. That is cool. Finnick has to rest and he will be safer this way, unable to fight. Tomorrow you are going to kill President Snow and you can’t expect all of you to come back.

You are one of the weak ones. You are here because Coin is not happy with Haymitch, that’s what you think. She is using you to punish him. And maybe you have created problems too, with Caius and the bunker.

You deserve it, a voice specifies. You unalived someone today, after all. If someone deserves to die it’s not the Mockingjay, or the lover boy, or your fellow tributes.

In the blink of an eye two soldiers come into the bunker, but instead of going for Finnick, they come near you. 

You don’t know them. They are in the Thirteen uniform, so they must come from that district, but they are strangers. A blonde man and a dark haired one, face blank and very, very tall. They look scary enough, but you suppose it’s their job.

«Daisy Pinecone, you are under arrest for the murder of a District Thirteen citizen. You have the right to remain silent.» They say, and you can’t help but look at the others, but everybody is in the dark. 

They don’t know more than you do. 

«I beg your pardon?» You ask.

What is worse is that it’s true, but how can they know it? Did Finnick say something? It’s impossible, you trust him with your life, and he was sleeping with you when Boggs was talking with Haymitch.

«Everything you say can be used against you.» They keep going, but you search Katniss with your eyes. They grab your arms and try to lift you up.

«Daisy, go with them.» Boggs orders you. «We will clarify everything.»

You quickly become terrified. Where are they taking you? If nobody knows, will you come back? They don’t like you. Will you be tortured? People are getting tortured in Thirteen.

You have the bracelet, you suddenly remember. Haymitch knows where you are.

«Call Haymitch! Please, call Haymitch!» You scream to the Mockingjay while they take you away.

You don’t even get to see if she heard you.

[holylulusworld]

Praise you like I should - Kinktober 30

Summary: Sam was there. Just in time.

Pairing: Sam Wilson x fem!Reader

Kink: Praise kink & dirty talk

Warnings: angst, mentions of explosions/characters death, dirty talk, Sam has a praise kink, implied smut, fluff

A/N: This ended up having more plot than expected. Maybe I’ll write more about their backstory one day…

A/N2: idea by anon

Words: 1,3 k

Kinktober 2022

Two years earlier, … 

“OH MY GOD! Thank you so much,” you sniff as Sam Wilson, Captain America himself carries you out of the burning building. “I thought no one can hear me. The fire, the heat, and the smoke were everywhere.”

“I’ve got you, miss,” Sam says in a calming and almost soft voice. “I heard you. You’re safe now.” You hide your face in his shoulder, nodding. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I-I was working at my office. It was almost time for a lunch break, so I left my desk for like five minutes to ask my colleague if they want to order food too,” you cough, and take a deep breath before you continue. “She already ordered food, of course, she did. Shit, I shouldn’t talk bad about people in such a situation.”

“It’s alright, miss. People tend to talk a lot, or not talk at all after a traumatic experience. You can talk as much as you want to.”

“You’re very kind, and strong…and attractive. Fuck, I babbled again,” you bite your tongue, silently telling yourself to finally shut up. “Sorry. You wanted to know what happened. I went back to my office to order food. The delivery service said it will take half an hour to deliver my order. I worked a little, and answered a few emails.”

“Go on,” Sam encourages you. He still carries you, while walking toward his partner. The guy you only know from what you heard on the news. Bucky Barnes, the former winter soldier. Now the partner of the new captain. “I need to know everything you remember.”

“Okay. I wanted to write another report when I heard a loud noise. It sounded like an explosion. You know, like in the movies when a car explodes or something. Does this make sense?”

“It does,” Sam’s partner nods. “Looks like the most damage got done to the higher levels. I guess they wanted to kill the boss.”

“Wait! This was not an accident,” you gasp. “I-why would anyone want to kill my boss? This doesn’t make sense at all. He’s a nice guy, and never harmed anyone.”

“Sam, we were right,” Bucky continues, “with everything. Let’s get out of here. The rest is up to the FBI and firefighters. There is nothing else we can do, Sam. If we tell them about our suspicions, more people will die.”

“People will die,” you whimper. “Oh no. How many people died? I didn’t even ask. I was so selfish and only happy that you saved me. I’m sorry.”

“Miss, I saved you as you needed my help. There is nothing to be sorry for,” Bucky huffs as Sam jerks his head toward their car. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I think it’s for the best when you come with us for now.”

“Uh-if you say so.”

You can’t say no to your savior. If Captain America believes you should follow him, it must be important. “Sam, do you think it’s smart to take her with us?”

“James, you know why I must take her with us,” you don’t see the look Sam gives his partner. “I need to be sure we get a few more information.”

“Thank you,” you take the tea Sam offers to you. “And thank you for saving me again, captain.”

“Just Sam,” he softly says. “We need to talk some more about what happened. I know you experienced something dramatic today. I guess you have questions too.”

“You can call me Y/N,” whispering your name you look at the tea in your hands. “Your friend didn’t answer my question earlier. How many people died today, Sam.”

“Y/N, maybe we should talk about what happened after you heard the explosion. Can you tell me anything else? Did you see someone?”

“Sam, you are avoiding answering my question. I’m not some superhero, but I know you are trying to hide things from me. I went through hell today. There was an explosion, and then something sounded like gunfire. I could feel the heat of the fire get closer and believed I’m going to die. So please, do not lie to me.”

“You already heard that there was an explosion at the top level of the building. What you don’t know is that the building was under attack. No one but you and the janitor made it out alive. They went from room to room and shot everyone they found.”

“You see, we are asking ourselves how you survived long enough to call for help,” Bucky crosses his arms over his chest. “Are you with Hydra, Y/N?”

“Hydra?” you splutter. “Like Hydra, Hydra. Do you mean the organization infiltrating shield and such? I thought they are long gone.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” huffing you look at Sam as his partner seems to interrogate you.

“Is that why you brought me here? First, you save me, and then you bring me here to interrogate me.”

“Y/N, we only want to understand what happened today.”

“I don’t know,” you jump up, dropping the cup of tea. “I went to work like every day,” you sniffle. “After I heard the explosion and loud noises I grabbed my phone and raced toward the copy room. I locked the room, hid behind the copier, and tried to call the cops. After a while, the noises stopped, and then, the heat and smoke got worse. I screamed and…”

“I found you,” crouching down you pick the cup up. “Y/N, I believe you, but you have to admit, it’s…odd that only you survived.”

“You said the janitor made it out too.”

“He’s in the intensive care unit and they don’t think he’ll make it, Y/N. Sam doesn’t want to scare you, but you should know, you are wanted now. Everyone at your company was meant to die today. We brought you here to keep you safe.”

“I-I’m a goddamn bookkeeper,” you huff. “Why would anyone want to kill me, Sam? This doesn’t make sense. You are not making sense.”

“Hey, hey,” Sam brings you into his arms to shush you. “I promise we will find out what this is all about. For tonight, you should stay here. With me.”

Now, …

“Hey there handsome,” you chuckle as your boyfriend makes his way inside your shared bedroom. “How was the mission, babe?”

“Top secret, but we all came back unharmed and alive,” Sam flashes you a smile. He dries his upper body with a towel as you sit on your bed, cross-legged.

“I can see that sexy captain,” he laughs as you watch him run the towel over his arms. “You know that you are the most handsome man I ever invited to my bedroom right?”

“I hope so,” Sam hides it well, but a shudder runs through his body at your praise. “You are the most beautiful woman I ever invited to my bedroom, miss.”

“I mean it, Sam,” you roll onto your belly to get a better look at your boyfriend’s cock when he drops the towel covering his hips and crotch to the ground. “Look at my man. Hot, smart, and a perfect lover.”

Sam licks his lips. He can already feel his cock twitch as you keep on showering him with praises. “You know, if you keep on talking like that, I might have to rip that nightgown off of your sexy body.”

“What else will you do, captain,” you seductively look at your boyfriend. “I bet you want to do dirty things to me.”

“I will rip your nightgown down your body. Then I’ll have my way with you in any position. Your tight little cunt will be sore by morning,” he flashes you a smile. “I will fuck you deep and good. Maybe I’ll even cum all over your body to mark you.”

“I bet you will fuck me so good. You always do. You’re such a good boyfriend, always putting me first. In any way. How about you come over here and I’ll salute for you, captain…”

Tags in reblog.

[blue-b-bro]

My s2 au rambling

It's 2am and I should be working on my paper soooo

Listen. So we leave the break up boat angst as it is. I can't deprive my babygirl of his suicide attempt (it's my depression bias, ok?). BUT. No traumatizing Lucius. It was unnecessary, they didn't commit to it anyway, they just tormented our boy for nothing, so no, no trauma for Lucius. He got somehow rescued shortly after being thrown over board or something. He isn't traumatized, but he's seriously pissed at Ed. (he's not with Zheng in this au atm or Stede uses different ship to get to the Revenge idk)

The rest of e1-3 can stay the same I guess... Ed gets resurrected by the power of love and hope, but then remembers Stede hurt him and tells him to fuck off. Now, what if Ed went ashore with only Buttons? Like, I get people being unsatisfied that they turned him into a seagull, and so we didn't have him anymore, but I find his scene with Ed in the forest really touching.

So Ed meets Anne and Mary and he can realize he doesn't want a relationship like theirs, how forcing yourself to be something else for your partner would just end up in both of you hating each other. Ed calls Mary out, Anne burns it all down, Buttons is there. Buttons transforms into a seagull, proving to Ed that change is possible, you just have to believe. But now he's alone in the forest, so he goes back to Anne and Mary and they go, somehow, to the Republic of Pirates, Mary and Anne to get back to piracy and Ed decides to visit Jackie (since we know they're friends).

[DRAFT: what about them finding Zheng on their way? Like on a sea, somehow. Let's say they were traveling in a dinghy and were let on board. I want Lucius to be somehow there and he and Ed being awkward, Ed trying to avoid him, because he doesn't know how to deal with this kind of situation and Lucius being pissed. Ed also could help as a navigator with his cloud knowledge, he could be their Buttons! Ed could help with towels and actually like it, but Lucius would be suspicious, because last time he saw Ed acting like that he almost died. Ed just tries to chill, tries to figure his shit up, but is haunted by his guilt and self hatred, he tries to not think about it. Lucius starts to notice him hiding his negative feelings, acting as if everything is fine and peachy, "look I'm folding stuff". He doesn't care about Ed, doesn't want to, but as time goes by, his empathy starts to make him not being able to just ignore Ed's suffering. They were friends, kinda, before. He knows how emotional Ed actually is. Jim also almost killed Lucius, but they were fine after that, so maybe he could cut some slack... He begrudgingly tries to talk to Ed, but he obviously says everything is fine. Ed actually avoids any kindness, feeling like a monster after everything he did, which only makes him more miserable. He tortured Izzy, he traumatized his crew... Stede came back, but should he? Maybe it would be better if he never came back, if they left him to die there...

Idk how to go there, but I want Lucius to help Ed deal with his emotions, knowing that Lucius is the emotionally intelligent one, and was helping him like this in the past. He wouldn't be so nice to him as before, still keeping a grudge, but he's too empathetic to just ignore him. Lucius gets to know how twisted Ed's coping mechanisms are and how lost he is, they get to know each other better (Lucius always knowing who he is vs Ed just starting to discover that).

MEANWHILE Stede and Izzy could have the same adventures as e4-5 (I guess idk what to make Stede do in this version of e4, but idc rn). Stede and Izzy could bond and have more interactions with the crew. I'd also love to see more of whatever that gaze Izzy gave Stede in "Bonnet, we need to go" scene. Izzy realizing his life could be different, better (just like Ed in s1e4), Stede getting attached to Izzy. I also want there to be addressed how Izzy tries to ignore Ed, ignore his existence. How he never talks about him. I'd love for them to have a talk similar to that one in e3 ("Allright Bonnet, have it your way"), where it comes out that they both feel responsible for what happened with Ed, like, how Stede feels responsible for Everything that happened, and Izzy'd be like "oh fuck off" and try to persuade him, it's him who's guilty, somehow comforting each other that way.

Oh! And Stede's crew could be trying to find Lucius. They'd have their adventures, but while searching for Lucius. And also Oluwande could help the break up crew with their trauma, since he's the most emotionally intelligent in this group.

So yeah, Ed and Lucius could become friends and Lucius could help Ed with the whole self identity thing and Stede and Izzy also could become friends (they could go into pining direction, but I wouldn't make them boyfriends at this point, it's too soon), Stede and the crew could help Izzy becoming his own person and developing some self worth as a human being, and Izzy could help Stede realize he doesn't have to be something he isn't just to please other people, because Izzy was the one to see Stede in his more cringe moments but also the surprisingly successful ones (he and Oluwande). Izzy knows what's under the mask Stede puts on around other people, that he isn't so nice or composed as he'd like people to see him, and so his acceptance of Stede would be so meaningful +Izzy's a cool pirate so also that.

Dunno what next, but for calypso's birthday and Ned Low's attack I'd like Ed and Lucius to be with the crew, because I want Ed's angst and I liked the idea with this being Lupete wedding. And it'd be bad to make a party before finding Lucius.]

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hi! 👋 sending this for the match-up event

1. Identity

I use She/her pronouns, I’m pansexual, I do tend to have a soft spot for broken/villain characters, I’m 24 years old

2. Love my four papas ❤️✨

3. I love a gothic and fall aesthetic (everyday should be Halloween 🎃), im more or slightly more on the chubbier side of the scale, I’m 5’1, olive skin, dark hair and brown eyes

4. 100000% introvert, super affectionate with my friends (we live for cuddles), somewhat traumatic past in romantic relationships (but I’m in a better place now), I consider myself passionate and kind

5. I love to read, rock music, gardening, I make amigurumis (crochet), and I’m learning about the Wicca culture, I speak Spanish, English, so I can grasp the idea of some Italian words and sentences

I have 4 tattoos (dragonfly in my left shoulder, 4 roses and a & sign with lyrics of Of mice and men in my right side rib, 2 koi fish making a circle in my upper thigh and a flower crown eve in a crayon style 2cm above my left ankle) I also love to watch series and movies 🎥 🍿

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is...Papa Emeritus III

You caught Terzo's eye a few months earlier while he was still performing as the frontman of Ghost. He had intended to speak to you in the garden, and give you a rose from Primo's greenhouse. Sadly he never got the chance as he was dragged of stage at the end of that tour.

After that he just didn't have it in him. He still saw you and he yearned to speak you. But he just felt so deflated and embrassed. He wasn't even really Papa anymore in his eyes. Terzo sat on a bench in the garden head in his hands.

"Terzo" Primo sunk down next to him "you are still a Papa" The man just seemed to read his mind. "But she is perfect for you. She helps me in the garden sometimes. She is kind and passionate, you'd really like her."

"hmm" Terzo just muttered and looked up in time to see you walking past with a bag full of leaves you'd swept up. Its a beautiful crisp fall morning with orange and red leaves falling all around. Nihil hobbles past, shaking his head at Terzo which only annoys him more. So in that moment Terzo decides to finally go and talk to you.

Later that day you are sat crocheting in the cozy cafe when someone settles down on the sofa next to you. "Sorry err to disturb you cara" You look over to see Terzo sat there leg crossed over the other casually drinking an esspresso. He has the confident smile plastered on his face, but you can see in his eyes he is nervous. "I wondered if you would want to come with me to a meal tonight... it would be nice no?"

You agree and even though he is much quieter than usual at the start he soon opens up. You end up talking a lot about movies and TV series. He also admires that you can speak multiple languages and he offers to teach you Italian if you want to learn.

Whenever he is with you, he is much brighter, it's like the fires of hell have finally reignited in his eyes. He is very respctful and charming around you. He is very open and honest with you, for him he finally has a partner he can confide in and be himself with. He is very understanding about your past, you can talk to him about it anytime. He will do everything he can to try and help you to heal further and to make sure he doesn't do anything that could remind you of that past.

One evening he asks about your tattoos, he is really facinated by them. As you tell him the stories behind them he lightly traces his fingers over them.

~

Written by Nyx

[kribuki]

LOOKING FOR ATTACK ON TITAN LITERATE-ADVANCE LITERATE RP PARTNERS [OCs welcomed]

I'm Kri, in my early 20s, in the CET (GMT+1) timezone, literate to advance literate, 1500~ keystrokes, 300~ words, third person perspective, past tense, only use Discord and absolutely love to dive in details and characters' psychology. I'm an enthusiastic and hyper writer who might annoy you with headcanons, plot-relatable clips, ideas and memes so I'm not for the weak hearts (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

We might be a good match if:

You're around my age or older (20+ y.o.).

You are not interested in smut-centered roleplays. I'm okay as long as the smut isn't more than a 70/3O plot to smut ratio.

You're active: I don't expect fast replies but I'd appreciate if you can at least send one/two replies every two/three days. Of course, I completely understand if you'll be busy, just tell me in advance.

You can write multiple characters and multiple couples: my style of writing evolves around many characters, since it's a nice way to insert drama and chaos. We'll have our main characters in a main couple, but I also like to include a secondary couple or more. It can be considered as doubling, if you'd like, but maybe it's closer to mumu, since I prefer the ships to be written in the same story rather than having a complete different rp.

You like to mix different genres: romance is a must for me; it will always be there either as the main plot or subplot, but I also love to include many other genres, such as action, thriller, psychological, drama, fluff, angst, gore, fantasy, even comedy.

You're okay with mature and dark themes (dead dove: do not eat): I'm not going to write sugar coated stories, I like to write and explore many themes and they include possibly disturbing ones. I don't want to traumatize anyone, so, if you want to write with me, be prepared. I do not have triggers, although my only objections are adult x minor ships and incest. You may talk with me about your triggers and I'll gladly respect them.

You are open to both canonverse and AUs: I personally prefer AUs (alternative universes), since I believe they allow more freedom and creativity. Examples could be medieval, royalty, knights, monsters, ghosts, gangsters, professional hitmen, mafia, car racers.

You can write multiple rps: we all know how hard it is to find the right people with whom we enjoy writing, so I'd be very down to write multiple stories with you if we truly click and get along well. I like to make friends out of my partners, so we can write a lot and to our hearts' content.

You'll match my energy and don't mind OOC (out of character) chatting: like I said earlier, I get very excited and will most likely send you random stuff related to the story for fun and I love it when people can match my energy and spam me with content. It helps me keep my interest up and also gets me emotionally attached to our story. Moreover, I would really appreciate if you could be honest with me. I wish for both of us to enjoy the story we are writing so if you lost interest, if you want to change/drop it, please let me know instead of ghosting me.

Ships I'm interested writing

Only mxf ships. In bold are the characters I'll write. If both are in bold, it means I can write either of them. ♡ = prefered (but I like them all).

Ships as main couple:

Pieck Finger x Jean Kirstein/Kirschtein

Pieck Finger x Levi Ackerman (I know it's not a common ship, but I'm kinda curious about them 'cause, you know, they almost think alike, they both care deeply for their comrades, she is tactic smart, he is action-oriented, and they are both shorties lol. So if you'd like, we can try)

Pieck Finger x Zeke Yeager (also as side couple)

Pieck Finger x male Hange/Hanji Zoe

♡ Nanaba x Mike Zacharias (also as side couple)

♡ f!OC x Levi Ackerman

f!OC x Jean Kirstein

♡ f!OC x Mike Zacharias

♡ f!OC x Furlan Church (also as side couple)

Ships as side couple:

Erwin Smith x f!OC

Kenny Ackerman x f!OC

Zeke Yeager x f!OC

Eren Yeager x f!OC

Mikasa Ackerman x Eren Yeager

Mikasa Ackerman x Jean Kirstein

Reiner Braun x f!OC

Reiner Braun x Historia

Reiner Braun x Annie Leonart

Bertholdt Hoover x f!OC

Bertholdt Hoover x Annie Leonart

Porco Galliard x f!OC

Porco Galliard x Pieck Finger

Nile Dock x Marie / f!OC

Petra x Oruo

Please keep in mind I do want my main character to be a female. My secondary and side characters can be of any gender. I'm open to any ship if you want to write an OC. Those listed are the ones I'm most confident writing, anyway you just need to ask. I'll put as much effort in the side/secondary couple as the main couple so I'm not going to cast your ship aside because I love including many characters and see different dynamics. And I just recently found out this thing is called mumu (multi-muse) lol.

Ok, I'll stop here and thank you for reading this long post! If you're interested feel free to dm me, if you've got any questions I'll gladly enlight you. I look forward to meet you! (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[thesoulesscollection]

I wish you would write a fic where Quentin learned to love himself 🥺

Heya, I love this request 'cause I put this grumpy man through so much stuff it's unbelievable. 

Down below the one-shot, consist of self deprecation, body image issues but some hurt/comfort & supportive partner Hershell Panzer cause I needed to write about my fav pair, Grumpy Old Men

Self love has never come easy for Quentin from then to even now. Back when he was a younger, more agile man he was able to pull off a confident front. Now in his forties, feeling both incompetent and undesirable, he knows in bitterly grim acceptance he's gotten old. Far from what once was in the good days, trim with lean muscle is gone, so he outright loathes putting any serious effort in his appearance unless mandatory for his job. Of course, he's far from a lazy slob since he does have some respect for himself in all seriousness, he keeps up in his looks. 

It was just that he can't find himself to care anymore what he looks like from outsiders looking in. His outfits were plain, in simple one-colors and in his aggravation clung to the wrong spots, where only his worn, drab leather jacket helps him feel better. Again, who in the entire world is willing enough to take a second glance at him, maybe gawk and then whisper miserable truths to one another. How he was a despicable mess rotten to the core from the inside out, way too traumatized to handle, with ugly habits to cope with the trouble he caused solely on his own. So stuck in a restless state of self deprecating turmoil; there's no way to change it, he acknowledged, as he didn't deserve anything good. 

"This is ridiculous. I don't know why you're doing this" Quentin snaps, already feeling his blood boil where his craving to pull out a cigarette was phenomenally high, "And I'm in no mood to be annoyed and babied by you"  

The thick, muscled arms around his rotund middle further tightened as the bear hug on him hadn't the intention to ever let him go.  

"Honey pot. There's no need to be grumpy here. I'm just checking up on you" Hershell somehow says it so light heartedly, gravel voice chipper it would've irritated him if it's someone else but with the man his heart flutters. 

"Hersh" 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, breathing deeply before his black eyes bore up at the man though the other appears to be unbothered by the harsh tactic. 

"You look nice. Always do but you don't need me saying that?" Hershell chuckles, resting his head on Quentin's shoulder when nudging them towards a certain spot. 

"Again, is any of this necessary? Cause I feel like it's not and I've got better things to be doing with my damn time" 

"Don't be such a sour puss. I'm trying to give you compliments here"

Exhaling a drawn-out deep sigh through gritted teeth Quentin lit up the cigarette between thick fingers and brought it up to his pursed mouth. He could care less if it affects his health for the worse, he's been doing that for years already so why bother to change it now. Or at the very least, stop before the air will attract a musty smell that would push anyone sensible far away. So with a shaky inhale, as lungs slowly fill up with the toxic smoke, he stares off at the distance, "In front of the mirror?" Whatever Hershell was trying to get at he didn't want a part of, "... I really don't want to hear it. So just leave me alone"  

"Not happening, grumpy. Under the direct orders from the major here you need some tender love and care and I'll be the one to give it to you" 

Soon they stood in front of the body length mirror, feeling uneasy Quentin cuts in like a blunt knife, "Under orders, huh. That's a load of bullshit" 

"C'mon now. I've seen how you've been lately…"

"Like what?" He growls in irritation. 

"Like you've been tired lately. Depressed"

A futile attempt to not show his frustrations was shown anyways as he rolled his eyes anyways where the other simply continued on. 

"And I feel like I don't tell you how much I love you. So here I'm gonna compliment you to my heart's desire and with this mirror, you'll see what I see" 

Quentin was openly grimacing at the idea given and when he was going to detest so until Hershell interrupts midway, "I don't think this is necce-"

"For one, you're extremely handsome, so strongly resilient and charismatic" Hershell commented, slyly planting a soft yet deep kiss on the neck near the shoulder and pulling back with a loud pop to entice a startled squeaky reaction.

"That's all?"

"Nope. Far from done, baby. You know me, I love spoiling my dear," A gruff grunt from Quentin pushed the man to go on, "Black eyes that remind me of the night sky I can get lost in. A voice so soothing it lures me to ease" 

"You're sounding awfully ridiculous right now. You know that?" 

Another kiss, this one had been raised up to his cheek, leaving Quentin to feel warm under the collar, "You know it's true. I love every part about you" 

Then forcing the inner strength to stare at his own reflection which Quentin was far from impressed. 

"I don't know what you're seeing. I look awful. Shitty and ugly even" 

"Quentin" 

When made to turn around thankfully away from the mirror he stared up at his partner who appeared disturbed, almost close to being upset. 

"You know that's not true" Rubbing at his sides with dry, calloused hands and going to squeeze the protruding squish, Hershell stares longingly with passion. "Is this what has been on your mind lately?" 

"... Maybe. I feel old and useless" Quentin attempted to glance somewhere else when the man ahead firmly kept him in place. 

"I'm older than you?" 

"You still got it together. That's the issue. I don't. I'm past my prime and that grates me" 

Hershell softened his expression, "We all get old and sometimes we aren't what we used to be. But that's okay. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you either" 

As Quentin was about to say something, a snarky insult perhaps, his mouth snapped shut where the words instantly left him in an instant. 

"I love you for you. That won't change as we're in this together" With a repressed sigh Quentin didn't break into a smile, still feeling uncertain though he leaned into the other man for comfort, "You know me. I'm a stubborn old man who won't quit since you're far too addictive" 

"You're insufferable… I guess that's what I like about you too" He murmured, now gaining the needed confidence and he's getting touch starved taking a glance up with slightly pursed lips. 

"Awe, I see. You can't get enough, I know it" Then bending down Hershell, grinning deviously as he went to press a kiss on Quentin's lips. "And stubborn as you are you better remember you're loved"

[nerves-nebula]

Not to like. Step in here and tell you about what sex should mean, but as someone whos allo with an ace partner, we have different meanings associated with it, but at the core is love and caring for each other. I think associating it purely with "something someone gets out of me" is definitely worrying, even if you do end up being ace. Sex isn't a transaction (unless its sex work but like thats not what we're talking about), it's a shared experience. Its not I take from you and you take from me, it's Im sharing something with you and you're sharing with me, and were giving each other this nice experience. For me its a shared closeness that I only choose to have with my partner and to my partner its an act of love and devotion he shares with me. I don't want to say "romanticize sex" but like, you might have to try thinking along those lines. Or don't, I don't control you. Im simply some guy that saw your post and was worried for you. If you discover you're ace, congrats tho!! I do think that perhaps working on how you see sex might still be healthy and helpful, regardless if you ever have any.

Anyways, peace and love. I hope you're doing alright and if not, I know things will get better.

(Also if you do choose to answer this publicly, which is cool, disclaimer that my take on sex is my own and if it doesn't match up with yours thats chill, I'm just a guy who's in a committed relationship where sex is viewed as a loving and fun thing. If your idea of sex is simply "its fun :)" that's cool too!! Sex is fun!)

oh i know that my view/feelings are fucked, thats why i tagged it as "ignore me im traumatized" goasdhgsdfmgas. im pretty sure im ace regardless cause im very much in the vein of "yeah sex is cool but have you tried reading webcomics" like im often thinking of other things id rather do and i can't say i've ever seen a person and wanted to do anything sexual with them myself right off the bat. so at the very least some kind of demisexuality.

i had a pretty ok view of sex until recently even with my trauma, was working on rehabilitating my thoughts about sex for a few years even! but a few months ago it kind of just all collapsed and im back in my Sex Isn't Real No One Actual Does That era where the idea of engaging in it makes me!!! not happy.

sex to me was about like, love and trust and was pretty important to me as like, an act of sharing myself with someone. but things got more complicated than that and now it kinda just hurts so. echh.

its ok tho cause if i ignore it its not real and also i cant cry rn i have a lot of homework to do.